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#I saw my chance to shitpost and I took it
arkarti · 1 year
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Fan art I drew of Reigen Arataka dying in a glue trap
the latest twitter meme - how could I resist? :3c
Twitter: x | More mp100 art
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horr0rmade · 9 months
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❝  oh,  jesus  christ,  is  that  a  fucking  gremlin ?  ❞
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               ' ... NO. HE'S MY BOYFRIEND. ' she stares at gen, biting back at laugh at their comment.
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canaidliafail · 9 months
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streamer ellie Williams x dancer reader 🌿
Id call this an excessively long shitpost. It is in the same timeline with staygrounded but I wrote it down for self indulgent reasons such as -to no ones surprise- venting. It ain’t good btw but its getting better I think.
CW: first of all, reader is a dancer/ dance teacher || short mention of self harm || MDI: there are sexual themes if I remember correctly || Ellie being very gay
If you by any chance do enjoy this concept I don’t mind writing a part 2 tho. Requests are open ✨
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“you blame it on the drugs I dont give a fuck cause the damage is done,
and you talk about suicide, its the way you manipulate”
1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47 ↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
gossip, rumors, spreading a false narrative and falling in love with being a victim of life and most importantly a victim of you.
So many things that could have been said about her. So many and yet all sat stale at the tip of your tongue. You wanted to rip her to shreds, put a curse on her and considered spending life in prison for premeditated murder. Then you cried and just prayed she would leave you alone and that she would find happiness and that you would never hear anything about it. You scratched your arms, the stitches holding your flesh together getting irritably itchier day by day. flesh that you so willingly sliced a week ago and regretted right after.
It was fucking embarrassing to fall to such depths of despair and misery cause of love. In life we allow things to happen to us. Saying that was comfort of some sorts. It gave you control over a situation that you were dragged around like a puppet.
Could truly another person's venom poison you this irreversibly?
And while you did crave love and attention you refused to humiliate yourself by asking for it,let alone admit to it.
“she didn’t love you, she loved the idea of being with you. You have to realize it baby, You are a known figure now…People will do that to you. This is a whole new world you just entered”
You shook your head and dully stared at the screen playing lo-fi on loop
“New world ? Feels like I'm back in high school”
You sat on the other end of the couch numb and mute. It had been a week since you spoke to your roommate and two since you last saw your whole friend group. You warned them
“I can’t talk but I really need you”
and they came and would chime in to whatever little but you were willing to share that night.
You all woke up around the same time the next day, exam season not really willing to cooperate with your mental breakdown and started getting ready. You had already failed 2 subjects. shit was not going your way so on the fourth day you just gave up and decided to go with the flow
“how bad can it get”
bit of advice fellas, never fucking say that cause it CAN get worse.
While initially you were well prepared for exams, You mixed up the days when you were supposed to submit assignments and the days when you were taking a written exam.
2 failed subjects, 4 more to go.
4 failed subjects… 2 more to go
Hot girl summer just doesn’t feel the same once you hit your 20s it seems.
_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________
You were aimlessly watching one story after the other,barely there and hardly caring what exactly you were looking at. Abby had just posted one cryptic photo with a girl you saw around in the community and smiled. You could tell something was going on with her and that other streamer girl and you smiled. You thought they were a good match and quite frankly you were just glad to see that some people were doing better in their love life than you ever could. It gave you hope that things like that still existed even if you weren't meant to experience them. Ellie had also just posted and you took a minute longer to appreciate her slender form dressed in tights and a top while horse riding. She was hot and she knew it and you liked that attitude of hers. You checked the next story which was a black screen with a text
*I fell off my horse two minutes after taking that pic*
And chuckled. Your eyes drifted off to the green square mark and cocked a brow
Oh?
So you were in her close friends ?
You sat up
“Wait since when has she-” You asked yourself out loud and noticed that indeed she was following you. In the midst of working on new content and getting out of your depressive slump you started checking your social less and less too busy with dance practice and trying to enjoy life and it seemed like in the middle of your subtle break things…. Happened
Maybe a few months ago when you were down bad for her this would’ve affected you but now you just shrugged and closed your phone. You need to get back to practicing a new dance combo for a video and you couldn’t be bothered. Your ex had scared you off from dating public figures for good. Dating was a strong word…You hardly wanted even a fling at this point.
You got dressed up and put on a wig, fixing your makeup in place and making a movement test before you went to the studio to record the new choreo so that you could only worry about the variation and not have any unnecessary technical issues. The studio was a few minutes away from your place by bus and you put on the songs you planned on rehearsing to get in the mood on your way there humming softly and tuning out any other thought polluting your mind.
There's was a text notification from the user
Elliefuckingwilliams
Which you forced yourself to ignore refusing to entertain whatever she could have texted you. If this was a month ago maybe you would have but now you didnt want to.
_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________
Ignoring her was your plan until you posted the new video of your dance which admittedly you did look good and may have been one of your best videos up to date. Ellie Was the third like on that post and she had shamelessly double texted you. You chewed on your lip nervous and uncertain
“She texted me again”
Ophelia, your roommate, peeked her head from her iPad and looked at you curious
“Who?”
“Ellie”
“ELLIE?! WAIT THE ELLIE?!” She jumped up and for a moment you for sure she came for your throat but instead clutched the blankets on your couch
“And what do you mean again ?! When did all of this happen ?”
“Relax it all started today and you know I wanted to tell you once we had time to properly hang out” You said fighting back a smile knowing that this was a victory. Ophelia had suffered you for months crying over your ex, then thirsting over Ellie and then back to square one. You owed her an update on your emotional affairs which you swore that they would stay stagnant.
“So what did she say ?”
You opened the Direct messages
Elliefuckingwilliams: Hey I have a question
Elliefuckingwilliams: Is your studio in Seattle ?
Elliefuckingwilliams: I have a project and am looking for a dance instructor. Let me know if you would be interested in a collab
“Ah. Just work stuff it seems”
“EXCUSES SHE JUST WANTS TO EAT YOU OUT AND IS LOOKING FOR A EXCUSE”
“You are shameless”
You stared at each other with a smirk fighting to break through, wanting to seem equally serious despite the ridiculous situation.
“She does not”
“She does. I’m betting 50 dollars”
Oh fuck off ill just roll you a blunt”
“A WIN IS A WIN” she said with her hands in the air “No come on! Respond already you are driving me crazy”
You rolled your eyes and considered her offer. You were taken aback cause Ellie didn’t seem like she would do anything with…dancing. However you weren’t new to influencers trying new things to get back on the algorithms favor so you brushed it off as her chasing new heights to her already growing fame.
-Hey, I’m not sure where you are exactly and it isn’t my studio. I am just renting the space but I could give you a lesson or two
Elliefuckingwilliams: Sweet! When are you available ? I have a gap next week otherwise it can be next month
You stared at her immediate response and quirked your brow in approval. Professional and straight to the point. You could respect that. Not what you were aiming for. You tried to ignore the previous conversations you two had that showed above her new messages. Your fruitless attempts at getting her attention in the most stupid of ways. Can’t blame a girl for trying. Shoot for the stars they say. You’ll land on dirt but hey, at least you gave it a fair shot and therefore no one could blame you for trying.
-This week is good. Say Friday ?
Elliefuckingwilliams: Yeah yeah cool! I'll text you the day before so that you can tell me your location and everything
You pursed your lips and turned to look at Ophelia who was on all fours on your couch desperately trying to steal a glance at your phone screen. You tossed it on one of the floor cushions
“Not a date. I’m just gonna be her dance instructor so looks like you owe me that blunt”
“Nu-uh. Bet you’ll be raw dogging in the studio. We will see who wins on Friday”
_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________
“And the dance floor is filling up with blood, But oh, Lord you’ve never been so in love”
ELLIE’s POV
Ellie was convinced that God had specifically hand crafted her body to be incapable of dancing. She had no coordination and perhaps was even tone deaf which was ridiculous for someone who played the guitar and sang. Not that she was a pro at that either but who creates a musician who doesn’t understand how to step on notes in any way other than with an instrument ? So now that she had texted you she was frantic, bouncing her leg up and down and chewing on the flesh around her fingernails.
“What's gotten into you?”
Dina asked while folding clothes. She was at her and Jesse's apartment for the night and she had yet to tell them about her new crush and her impatient attempt at getting to see you as soon as possible. Ellie was aware of you as a creator. Be it from a post-share on her friends stories or you falling on her timeline she would see you here and there. She vividly remembered a month where you peaked and she went from seeing you once every two months at best to seeing you every week. And she was curious as to why was everyone going crazy over you and your content. You seemed to interact mostly with Abby’s girl.
That’s how Ellie referred to the girl Abby seemed to be crushing on. In a game of broken telephone and who told what, Ellie planned on seeing how close Abby was with her girl and if that was close enough for her to ask if she could…well ask her about you and then somehow for that information to get back to you.
But all that plan failed the second Ellie asked
“So is Cotton dating anyone?”
And Abby took that horribly wrong and now was set on gatekeeping her. Ellie was awkward and a mess and couldn’t communicate properly what she wanted because to her, what she asked was obvious and had no hidden meaning or intention but the world around her didn’t work like that and she struggled so fucking hard with it.
Ellie’s second grant failure was when she followed you back. She was sure that you wouldn’t have missed it. But the silence was so loud it was deafening. You were still posting but you were otherwise quiet everywhere else. You rarely even watched her stories at this point so Ellie decided to grow a backbone and some balls and directly message you.
She flinched at the dry responses she gave you to your previous interactions which back then seemed professional but now they seemed…So distant.
Finally, she texted you.
and you responded.
“Dina I did a stupid thing”
Dina tossed the clothes in the wardrobe and kicked close giving up on tidying Jesse’s shit
“Ok, stupid how? Like speaking money or-”
“I texted my crush-”
“You have a crush?”
“Yes and so I texted her and-”
“Who is she ?”
“A content creator, anyways so I texted her”
“WHo?”
“Dina can you let me talk?!” she said frustrated and Dina grinned. She went to the kitchen aisle to grab a bottle of water and tossed another one Ellie’s way. She leaned against the counter listening to her friend endless yawping about this new crush. she called her twice a day until Friday, and would recite every move and gesture she planned on using to seduce you. Dina would turn each one down by saying
“You do realize that when you see her you will just shit your pants from excitement and won't say anything right?”
So ellie would hang up and call a few hours later with a new plan that aligned more with how she typically acted.
When Friday came she showered twice and changed outfits over and over again, as a result she was late. She was proud of her fit since the sleeveless turtleneck did a nice job at hugging her slim, well built frame and showed off her toned arms that took years of calisthenics to build and paired with a baggy pair of sweatpants she felt like she had the biggest dick in the city.
But once she parked outside of the studio you mentioned cold sweat ran down her spine and her hands felt clammy and sticky from anxiety.
what the hell am I doing
she questioned and rested her head against the steering wheel. She drummed her fingers on the soft leather and hummed a melody to ease her nerves till she heard light tapping on the window. She lifted her head and looked up and there you were. hair loose, shorts and a baggy graphic T that had a faded graffiti-like artwork of spiderman.
She hated how much she loved the sight in front of her.
she opened her door and slid out trying to gather her stuff in a hurry
“Hi sorry, were you waiting long? I missed the bus and had to wait a bit until the next one came…”
“no no! Its cool I was just, ugh trying to calm down cause I'm nervous”
you smiled and lowered your brows in empathy
“I assumed you would. You don't have experience in dancing right? Or at least you haven’t mentioned it anywhere”
She winced at how obvious her lie was and she didn’t know how to answer to that
I don’t dance but If that’s what it takes to fuck you then sure I can learn how to do a Ronde de Jambe
“ah yeah you got me there, I’ve never danced before”
“That’s cool with me. Just curious on what piqued your interest to start now. New hobby or…?”
“yeah new hobby!” she hurried to answer, glad that you inspired her on what lie to use for the day.
You nodded while checking her out head to toe and before she had time to boost her ego and assume that you did because you found her hot you said-
“Hm. I will need you to wear tighter pants next time so that I can see what you are doing with your legs. But for today it's fine”
and took the keys out of your duffel bag
“Well. Ellie williams. Ready to start?”
“ah yeah just, be gentle…? I've never done anything remotely close to dancing with my body and I might be pretty stiff”
“Don’t worry about it. I've had every type of student and all of them managed to pull a few cool moves in their second month. If there’s a will there’s a way”
she smiled more nervous than before. You were formal and professional leaving little close to no space for her to get flirty and she was at a loss. She should’ve done more research on dancer etiquette so that she wouldn’t have looked like such an uneducated swine but there was no point in getting angry over that now.
“We will start with basic breathing exercises and a warm up just to get you in the swing of things. We will start with body isolations”
Ellie stared at you from the mirror as you showed her the first few basic motions
“Alright so for the warmup just follow my lead”
you grabbed the remote and put on “never ending song” by Conan Grey which had a pretty standard rhythm and was easy to dance along to. Ellie was in awe with the plasticity of your body, every move being a continuation of the previous one all like a rolling tide of emotions complimenting the beat and the beat complimenting you.
On the other end, Ellie was too embarrassed to look at her own reflection
“alright so first to isolate your hips from your chest” you said and let the next song play. You laid your palm flat on her back and pointed a bit below her collarbones holding your fist in the air
“move with me, breathe in” you said and she tried to copy your move watching your chest rise. You shook your head
“no, I need only your chest to move. Relax your shoulders love” you teased with an easy smile and Ellie by now was a mess, from the proximity and from the simple exercise of trying to move your breathing pattern
You were oblivious to it all going from one body part to another occasionally fixing up her posture and tapping the part that she had to focus on, but all hell broke loose in your brain when you laid your hand on her stomach asking her to clench and unclench her core hunching within herself.
“You were so dramatic before, look at you Els. You just needed a little basic guidance “ you encouraged and she smiled and looked at you in excitement, oblivious to the fact that when she turned her head she was a breath away from accidentally kissing you
“ah! I-“
you smirked and pulled away
“I've been rehearsing this one choreo, best way to understand these exercises is through a dance routine. How do you feel about that?”
Ellie agreed and while dancing she kept being thrown off balance at the sharp turns that she had to take which in return slowed her down and she would miss a few steps. You let the music play in the background and let out an awkward chuckle
“Fuck ok this is my fault see I forgot to tell you about spotting”
“Spotting?”
You nodded and you pushed her back by her shoulder freeing up a line for you
“See when we turn, we always have a spot” You said and stepped into the appropriate preparation to do 8 simple turns, your head always snapping the back to the invisible mark you held with your eyes
Ellie pursed her lips. Seemed like such an obvious trick but one that went completely over her head
“Now I see that you struggle to look at yourself in the mirror, Which is fine. I’m sure you'll get used to it eventually, so instead try taking a few turns while holding eye contact with me, yeah ?”
You offered and she took a couple steps back
“Ugh…what were all those moves you made before spinning?”
“Oh don’t worry about that,thats ballet stuff. Just spin. Bent your elbows and hold your arms against your chest if it helps”
Ellie started off slow, picking up the pace as she neared you, eventually losing sight of what was in front of her
“Wow-wow-wowwww I got you” you said and steadied her by her shoulders and held her in place. She looked up at you taking in deep breaths, cheeks flushed and eyes wide open with her lips parted in a soft smile
“That went well, How do you feel?”
You said and you gently rubbed your thumb against the naked skin of her biceps.
“Great, I… I liked this it makes more sense now”
She said filled with excitement
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Every time Ellie liked your story you felt your heart skip a few beats. You were in the studio for your solo dancing practice and kept bouncing from one leg to the other to keep your muscles warm while you scrolled through your phone to find some inspiration or a pic that you could post and in return give Ellie an opening to respond to. The image of her timidly trying to follow along through your every move, her flushed cheeks and her voice shaking did things to your brain chemistry, re-wiring its entire structure and flow. Every time she posted a story with a smug smile and pants lower than her boxer briefs you just laughed remembering what a shy and soft mess of words the girl was and felt an unhealthy amount of endearment. A spark re-ignited in your dead heart and you liked it. You liked ellie when you didn’t know her, and you liked her even more now that you did.
By now it had been…a good two weeks that consisted of 4 dance practices that you had with her. The first time you saw her up close all you thought was a “huh”
And then a “she is shorter than me-“ which for you was dangerous. You had an incredibly soft spot for masc lesbians who were shorter than you. Unfortunately they were never attracted to you though. You had always attracted the exact opposite of what you wanted and you blamed that on your overly dominant attitude.
On the second day you both had the same idea of treating each other to a coffee and so you ended up with 4 paper cups of iced almond milk lattes which you laughed about for a good 10 minutes
“We are so in sync!” You commented and she nodded excitedly, blushing all the way to her ears.
On the third dance practice you purposely pretended to assist her and correct her to find an excuse to touch her and when you saw how positively she reacted to it you pushed on the advantage that you had, heavily , which made you believe that maybe there really was some kind of ulterior motive as to why Ellie was so set on having you as a dancing coach.
On the fourth day there was a shift in the tide and something was in the waters. Ellie had her hair gathered and decided to wear the sluttiest outfit on earth ( aka a white top and grey sweatpants )
She went to greet you with a hug and you noticed her perfume, subtle but there to make you lust after it. She asked if she could record the Dance you were rehearsing for a post and you felt alright with that. And she excelled. She was a fast learner and her body had a good flow. It did need polishing but she wasn’t half as bad as she claimed to be. The fifth video take was close to perfection and in her excitement she yanked you towards her and wrapped you in a tight hug which you immediately reciprocated eager for the contact with the sex God standing before you. You took in the blended smell of her perfume and her sweat which had you feel insufferable discomfort with how tight your pants were. Something about her raw scent had you horny like a dog and you had to clench your jaw in patience not to act out of instinct and try to get closer than needed.
You both laughed and she yelled in excitement “I fucking did it”
And then your voice followed, a bit quieter “I told you, you could do it” she pulled back her arm still on your waist, her thumb caressing the skin as she watched the video a second time in excitement. You took the chance to stand a bit closer to her while she in sync wrapped her whole arm around you and leaned her head against your chest enjoying the dance and pointing out things that you could do differently next time, all in the comfort of each other’s embrace.
She posted the video and in the daze of the excitement of seeing what you two looked like next to each other you forgot to worry about the fact that you were yet again getting entangled with a public figure. An actually big one. While your previous relationship was just your ex leeching off of you and your success, this one…it had to be different. Ellie had nothing to gain from you and you put your trust in that and in the fact that the two of you seemed to genuinely get along
You decided to text her first
“You impatient fuck. We could’ve filmed a better take tomorrow”
“You are such an ass, let me enjoy my accomplishments”
You started tidying up the studio and decided to leave your bag with your ballet clothes and pointe there since you would come tomorrow for Ellie’s lessons anyways. You chatted back and forth all the way back and you almost tripped on your staircase too busy typing a response. You banged your head against your door though thinking you had unlocked it to find that you didn’t. Ophelia opened it for you
“Girl?”
You looked at each other and you immediately broke into a smile the split your lips
“Ellie posted our video. And she left in the part where she hugged me”
“Oh-hooooo” she exclaimed and rushed you in. She tossed the mop on the side of the wall and nudged you to the couch abandoning whatever housework she was in the middle of to listen to you
“Aaaand we are still talking” You said smiling and Ophelia clapped cheering for you while you swung your way inside the house and fell dramatically on the couch.
“Oh my, I’m so glad the Gods heard our prayers cause I was sure I was about to send you off to priesthood”
“It wasn’t that bad”
You said with an offended gasp and she scoffed
“Honey, one more month and you were about to grow back your virginity. I’m just happy to see you back out there and not just with anyone but with The Ellie fucking williams!” She said getting louder with every word. You joined her cheerful demeanor hopping on the couch and you both started bouncing on it like kids in a playground
“I can’t believe this. I wanna wear something good for our practice tomorrow”
“Shorts and that nice red bodysuit!”
“But-“
“No buts! I know it’s uncomfortable but she will see you and rip it off right away so how much will you really suffer, you know?”
Ophelia coming through with the obvious answer to any and every world known issue was exactly what you needed to finish off your day. Though to be fair, if there was anything you should have listened to regarding -making a move on your crush- that would have to be her. She had a banging record of pulling every single guy she set her eyes on and one night standing them for her own satisfaction. Of course now she had her sights on someone specific but that didn’t change or erase all previously acquired skills in the flirting department. Despite all of that, You ended up rejecting the bodysuit idea because that would be a hassle to actually get off if things would go anywhere and even if they wouldn't, anything that tight during summer was a nightmare in general.
“Hey can I borrow that white top you have?”
“Borrow whatever you want and do whatever you want just never let me know about it”
_________________ 𓆩♡𓆪 _________________
on the day that you fully planned on making a move a couple things went wrong. First and foremost well, It decided to rain down which meant you had to run all the way from the bus stop to the studio in a hopeless attempt to preserve your hair and outfit. It didn’t do much since you ended up like a drenched cat either way but you refused to let your mood falter.
You tried texting Ellie to ask if she could bring coffee for you two.
Few minutes later she came in with two iced coffees, not a drop of rain on her which you were awfully jealous of. Her cropped hair was once again all gathered in a short ponytail and she wore two sports wristbands around her arms which did unimaginable things to you. It was good sight with her sleeveless baggy tshirt. Ellie just knew how to dress plain and attractive.
“Looking good” she teased when she found you furiously trying to dry the ends of your hair with a towel
“Shut up. Please shut up”
“So sensitive” she said and rolled her eyes making her way to you and taking the towel from your hands
“Let me help” it wasn’t so much of a request as it was a demand when she pulled the towel out of your hands and moved behind you, wrapping your hair in it and squeezing it to get most of the water out. You felt your body temperature rise at the awfully tender gesture and unsure of what to do you just fidgeted with your hands looking at the floor
“ I can drive you back to your place if you want”
“No, it's fine. Ill wait it out”
“No no, I insist. Let me drive you back and look cool while doing so”
A soft chuckle escaped your lips as she rounded you up to give you the towel with a small shy smile, her cheeks a shade of pink now.
Practice was good if you were to ignore that Ellie seemed a lot more focused on your assets rather than the moves you were showing. You knew the biker shorts you were gave her a 4K view of your ass but you didn't expect her to be this obvious about it. You stepped back after a moment and just watched as she rehearsed the dance on her own and you were in awe on how much more comfortable she seemed with her body now
“Good. This one was very good. Want me to film you so that you look at yourself?”
you asked and she shook her head satisfied with the progress. You slouched on the ground, legs spread and ankles on your knees wiping the sweat of your brow carefully as not wipe your brow completely off with it and looked at the time
“Well we are pretty much done then for today. Unless there’s anything you wanted to ask me or anything else you wanna try doing?” you asked and Ellie followed your lead walking over to you across the room and crouching down on her knees in front of you
“Oh yeah I did wanna ask something”
“go ahead then” you said dreading having to get up. You didn’t have to though
“Can I take you out on a date ? for coffee perhaps?”
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alastairstom · 6 months
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hey I saw on twitter someone called you a racist , can you post thah anon? I cant believe it how can people be like that
or did you delete the ask?
Hey anon! Thanks for coming to me directly. You're a sweetie <3
You know what, I wasn't going to address this because it's so stupid, but I figure I have nothing to hide.
What happened was I made a joke that was like "if you voted for thomastair (in the least popular ship poll), you're a monster block me." It was intended in the same tone as Will telling Tessa she's a monster for hating chocolate, or me telling one of my best friends she's a monster for not liking ice cream. This did not go over well online since it's hard to indicate tone, and I am an awkward person. I got this anon. You can read my response beside it.
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I am sincerely sorry to those who were hurt by my initial comment.
However, this still sits poorly with me because Thomas and Alastair literally have sex on page and are all over each other throughout the book. My intention wasn't to accuse anyone of homophobia, it was to shed light on the way that this was perceived because I quite frankly see no way to perceive Thomastair as platonic.
Even if you don't like them. They're all over each other.
Anyway, I then got this anon:
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I didn't reply to it because I was sincerely sorry for hurting their feelings and I didn't want any drama. So I deleted the offending posts, having apologized.
Also, this response has a lot of really obvious flaws, and I originally didn't feel like picking apart the anon in ways that I think are just common sense.
But if I have to reply to this ask, fine.
I don't think Kit is aroace because he's neurodivergent, I think he's aroace because he consistently shows a lack of interest in relationships. Other neurodivergent characters like Henry and Ty are obviously not aroace.
I don't think Grace is aroace because she was abused. Abuse doesn't always make you aroace. I just like her in a qpp with Kit. As for Alastair, he's canonically gay. Attracted to men. They're incomparable in the text.
I do not think Charles is violent. I have specifically said "STATUTORY rape." Alastair was a kid he groomed when he was 14-16. I don't think it was violent, but it's statutory rape.
I fail to see how my thinking that a woman of color (Cordelia) who I adore could do better than a specific white man is racist. I also am not denying that they're in a relationship as anon is doing with Thomastair. Also I'm not a Jordelia anti, I like them fine since Cordelia is happy. I just don't find their dynamic interesting.
As for Jem, don't care. I just don't care about this character. And I never said I wanted to erase him from existence, I just said he's overused in current content and I wish he'd be utilized less frequently.
I also was linked to a post where I'm apparently being fileted for this shitpost:
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I don't think this post is controversial, and it also wasn't directed at any one person. In fact, the individual who took offense to it was totally off my radar until like 2 days ago when I was sent the post. They could not be less relevant to me and I definitely have never thought of them when making a post.
Thomastair is just a ship that is to me- and apparently many other people, considering my engagement- synonymous with hope and happiness. Because that's what they represent, hope and second chances and healing. Generic posts like this are just... generic. If someone I haven't thought about in months feels personally attacked, that's not my problem.
This is all I'm going to say about this. I will not be answering more anons about it or addressing any juvenile callout posts that anyone chooses to make. Honestly this experience is mostly funny to me because, like, I am just some random blogger on the internet at the end of the day. The block button is great. Use it.
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lilisouless · 2 years
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Grishaverse ships acording to this love calculator
First all, this is obviously a shitpost done only for fun and because i saw a chance and took it. Also the personality types are bassed on my perspective on the characters. Not to say that this is only counting book versions
Alright, let’s get on it
-Kanej
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Not bad, some there were higher and there were lower (this applies to Zoyalina too btw)
-Helnik
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Same “not bad” (let’s blame this on Kaz and Matty, why can't you be more compatible with your girls?ugh)
-Hanina
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Oh this one hurt 😭 , the worst part is that it also applies to Ninej 😫
-Genya/David
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Scored better
-Zoyalai
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Same as previous, which is fine
-Tamadia
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Also scored a nice 86%
-Malina
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Pretty well, if there was internet in the gv, they would be very proud to score higher than Zoyalai
And now the ships that take the golden medal ,acording to this very reliable, not biassed at all algorithm:
-Adreoni
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Math have spoken , just give them their crown
-Wesper
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This will probably be controversial since many people won't agree with Wylan´s mbti. But if you say "but Jesper is ESFP" don't worry, the esfp/isfj ALSO gave a 100% (which means Aditi and Colm have a golden medal too)
So, if you ever want to know which ships are better, just look at this completely serious and scienfically proven post.
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Dreams
I have some weird fucking dreams. And I have them often. I’ve often debated making a dream blog for the sole purpose of publicizing them. But since I don’t have that, heres some Portal characters as random dreams I’ve had (Warning: this is a long one)
GLaDOS: I haven’t truly been affected by any of my dreams for a while until this one. It was about me 3 different video games. One was a weird fnaf 8 bit game and one was a shitpost game of a man playing baseball, swearing every time he hit the ball, but I specifically connect her to the third game, which is the one that stuck with me. It was simple. You had the view of a bathroom. I don’t remember if it had creepy music in the background or was pure silence, but either way it gave off this horrible sense of dread. Like somehow I knew something bad happened there, like someone died there. After I woke up, I still would feel the exact same dread every time I thought back to it. It doesn’t happen anymore though.
Rick: When my dad went crazy and my friends and I took him down by going full Goosebumps mode on him. I’m talking same outfits and the same weapons. I don’t remember the details. The other one was this weird game-like setup that kind of reminded me of the backrooms with a different bad guy tm in each area. One was this huge rabbit thing I couldn’t figure out how to pass, so when I got past the level before him, the evil granny from the last room was there and I basically said “just kill me at this point”. She didn’t, but apparently I realized I was going to die somehow anyway and this was also the point where I realized I was dreaming. By this time in my real life, I knew that there was a chance I could control my dreams, so instead of getting my ass out of that situation, I went up to this group of girls (one pretty blonde lady, one black haired one who looked like she’d seen some shit, and one I literally don’t remember at all) and was like “Guys, what’s the coolest way to die you can think of?” The one who looked like she’d been through it said “Car crash” and I was like “No:D” but no one else offered any alternatives, so I was like “fine then” and planned to close my eyes and open them driving a car. That didn’t happen, but instead once I opened my eyes, I passed out and woke up driving a car instead. I drove off the road onto a beach. I expected to wake up when I died like the last time this happened (soon to come), but instead I rose as a ghost. The blonde girl from earlier saw the car and came over freaking out. Then she saw that I was a ghost and there were some cuts as we straight-up lived our life together (in a gay way). One of those cuts was in someone’s bedroom and istg something was gonna happen if some guy didn’t walk in. The last part was us driving in a car and me telling her I was literally living a dream and that I knew I’d wake up soon since the ‘story was over’ and was genuinely sad about it. Then I did wake up. Absolute cinematic masterpiece.
Nathan: Any of the times I’ve experienced Dreamception and ‘woken up’ while I was actually still sleeping. It’s happened a decent amount of times.
Pluto: One of my first lucid dreams. Basically I was sitting in my house and after I found out I was asleep, to check to see if I was lucid, I conjured myself a Milky Way candy bar and then talked to my friend through the patio window. While she was jumping up above the trees on a trampoline.
Nigel: I was at a restaurant with a friend and my mom. It had a playplace my friend and I were in. My mom left without remembering to pick us up and we ended up locked in the store after hours because we couldn’t find the way back out.
Virgil: My guy got three dreams because I couldn’t decide between them. The first is when I dreamed that I got kissed by my best friend. Just a kiss on the cheek, not anything crazy, but I woke still woke up confused and it led me to start heavily questioning my sexuality. The second dream is a decently complex spy-like story line where the main two guys are running from a villain and there’s a timer counting down to what was presumably their deaths. One guy is stops running and the other dude is like “wtf are you doing??” but just is like “Wait.” And the villain catches up and the counter ticks down and one of the guys yells “WE LIKE EACH OTHER” in a gay love confession and turns out the other dude literally just wanted them to admit it the whole time, which i think is the greatest plot twist in history. The last one is when my family got chased down and killed by the Grudge. Even though I hadn’t and still haven’t seen the movie, nor do I know anything about it. But in a slightly short version, me, my parent, my aunt, my cousin, and her boyfriend were all being chased around the house until were were cornered on the deck outside. My aunt was then killed. I climbed up onto the outside of the railing and let myself fall, hoping I could grab something else before I hit the ground. I did, and gently lowered myself to the grass. I lied down with my eyes closed, pretending to be dead. I heard The Grudge jump down and talk to my family. It was saying that it didn’t believe I was actually dead and she drove a fucking stick thing through my heart. It didn’t exactly hurt, but I could definitely feel it. Then, my vision faded, changing from the darkness you see with your eyes closed, to a world of static. My thoughts were pretty calm for being murdered and basically thought “Oh, I guess this is what happens when you die.” Then I woke up. I feel that it’s also important to note that before we started getting chased, we were gonna burn the house down, and my one and only concern was that it meant I wouldn’t get to see my friend the next day.
Chell: Once had a dream where a serial killer was chasing a friend and I, as we ran away through this weird house full of doors that acted as actual portals. This was long before my interest in the game, so just general portals. We also ended up finding out we were sharing the same dream at one point (not irl which was disappointing).
Wheatley: One of the dreams I had where I realized it was a dream and that was how the rest of it happened. I was watching some school performance and my class was standing in a line. Once I realized, I tested to see if I could control my surroundings by making a bunch of people clap. When it worked, the immediate first thing I did was knock someone next to me out with my mind. The teacher came over and I quickly pinned the blame on my friend next to me. She argued, but ended up being punished. Alternatively, the dream where I just saw a limbless man on my bed. (That is meant to be funny, but it’s worth noting it did give me the same feelings of dread the bathroom dream from earlier did)
In conclusion, if I know I’m dreaming I have 3 paths to go down: Murderer, dumbass shit, or adrenaline junkie. So basically I live for creating chaos. Also wtf are my dreams.
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keagan-ashleigh · 1 year
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✨HIIIIIII newcomers from Twitter✨
So, on Twitter I've seen a screenshot of a tumblr post with a whole list of rules that are - I'm sorry for using crude words but - bullshit, for the most part. So I was thinking, hey. Why not make a "how does tumblr works" with actually useful stuff in it. A non exhaustive list though, cause I haven't all night.
Introducing myself quickly first: I'm Keagan, I'm on Tumblr since 2012 (Twitter user since 2013), I have seen the best and the worst, I've been there for the first mishapocalypse, the great Sherlock s4 depression, and I was here when dicks and boobs where roaming the website freely and when the anti-boobs bot flagged everyone randomly. I took a sort of sabbatical after 2017 bc of the Sherlock depression, and the fandom kinda falling apart, and also bc I have a irl life that started to get interesting around that time, but I still came back regularly from time to time until now.
I know how this goddamn website works and I know why we call it the blue hellsite. I've been here since the dawn of ti- no, lol, i'm joking. :')
I started off as an aesthetic blog, then it quickly turned into a social justice/aesthetic/spn fandom blog, and this blog you see this post in is my fandom side blog, the one that saw the birth of my Sherlock obsession and the beginning of my fanartist/fanfic writer carreer. This hellsite saw my queer awakening. It saw me bloom and gain in confidence and self love. It taught me love, patience, pain, and the absurd.
So. Now that's done, let's go. Those are random things in no particular order.
In case you worry about Tumblr being very different than Twitter: yes it is different but surprisingly it's actually not that different.
Any of the following points, you will figure out easily anyway by yourself, Tumblr is actually pretty simple to understand and use, and you'll catch on quickly on the little things that makes it Tumblr, the "etiquette" and all.
For the most part: you can do whatever the fuck you want, no one cares (except dumb people I guess). But do we truly need to remind people not to be assholes with others ? Don't be rude. Duh
- One thing that Tumblr post I was talking about got right is: likes don't matter in terms of visibility, reblogs are more important. Likes are a comment more than a booster. So if you want to boost a posts' visibility, esp art and fics : reblog it.
- On the other hand you won't gain much visibility if you don't get people to reblog you, and honestly while existing here is pretty easy, you'll still have better chances at being visible if you reach people. I'm on a lot of SM and here is still the easiest though so don't worry.
- You can definitely scream into the void, like, it was made for it, this is shitpost paradise
- You can add dumb & insignificant comments to posts like "omg same" or "this is so true" - literally no one cares.
- And no one cares how you call your mutuals, moots, oomfies, pals, friendz, besties, mutts, - no one.
- We do use tone indicators here too. And there's plenty room to write the full words so it's not an obligation but a suggestion from me: sometimes it's less confusing to just say "i'm half joking" than /hs.
- But you can shorten words as you like, it doesn't matter. If twitter got you used to shorten words do shorten words, no worries.
- Your Tumblr experience is closely tied to who you choose to follow or block - you can curate your dashboard/timeline just like you do on Twitter, this is pretty similar. You can and should protect yourself from unsafe people anywhere. That's basic internet safety. Don't overthink this please, if someone is making you feel unsafe and bad, it is your place: block people.
The moderation here is not that bad but not ideal. So please use all the ways you need to make this place safe for you, and don't hesitate to call for people's help. This is a social media based on community. Don't let people trick you into thinking you are wrong for blocking people - or for calling unsafe people out. We have always done that here. We protect and support each other, ok? Good.
- You can follow hashtags, pretty much like on Instagram. In my opinion it's not always working well but you can.
- You can't bookmark posts, you'll have to put in your drafts the stuff you want to check later. And you'll likely forget them there so tell them goodbye as you go.
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Eheh 🥲 (good thing i don't know how many tweets i have saved for later 😂)
You can make yourself a "read later" tag too. A tag that you're likely never gonna check either 🥹 Not so different than the Twitter bookmarks, you see.
- When you sign in, you create your main blog. The main blog - consider it like your account if you like - is linked to your profile, if you delete the main blog you delete your profile. You can create as many side blogs (side accounts) as you like (without using another email) and you can delete them without deleting your main account.
Sadly you still can't switch main blog and side blog to link your profile to a side blog, which I have been screaming for since this side blog became my main blog years ago 🥲🤌 this is my own "make tweets editable" cry
- If you're not familiar with blogs and how to personalise them, don't worry, there's a lot of themes you can choose that are simple to use, and the hardest thing you'll have to do is choose colors you like. If it looks hard, there is a ton of resources to help you, and most people will help you if you ask them (I will, honestly don't hesitate to hit the ask button).
Note that you do not have to touch it actually, it's just like your living room, some like it carefully decorated, others leave it at its most basic form, still usable. There is no obligation whatsoever. It's fun though.
If you like coding, you can edit the blog's code or make your own theme, which is pretty cool, I've learned some html modifying mine.
- You can ask stuff, anonymously or not, hitting the ask button on people's blogs. They will answer by a post, they can make it public. There is also a private direct messaging thingy.
- Tags work similarly than Twitter, meaning if you click on "#spn" you will see all things tagged spn - simple. There is some sorts of trends though it's not exactly the same as Twitter obviously.
But they are different in the sense that they serve also for organisational purpose: they are used to identify what's in the post, so that you can navigate blogs more easily. It's more like labelling your Tupperwares so you find them easily in your kitchen, you know what I mean ? The tags are also labels. The tagging system is also important when you set your blog up. You can put tags in the post but that's useless, the tag section is there for it.
- You can check on my blog (on web not app) to visualise it: you can add tabs and pages to your blogs: for example, let's say you want people to find your fanfics easy: you tag all your fanfic posts "fanfic"; on web, when you click then on the tag from your blog, you will have an url with "tagged/fanfic" at the end, you take that and when you create a new page on your blog (it's well explained how to do that in the settings), you use that url to create your tab. Sounds a bit complicated, just said like that, maybe but I promise it's simple. So you see the tagging system is useful to organise your blog.
You can also make pages to add information, like you would do with a carrd or a pinned tweet, you see. (You can pin a post here too). You can make it an "about me" page, or a list of your main tags, etc, whatever you like.
- Side note about tags: if you click a tag from your dashboard, you'll see all posts linked to this tag. If you click the tag from your blog, you will see all the posts you have reblogged or written - the ones that are present on your blog.
- You can communicate stuff in the tags, it's a whole extra expression space. Typically people use it to add comments they don't want people to reblog, personnal additions, remarks, rants, jokes, etc... There is no rule about not commenting whatever you like on posts but that extra space is often used for all kind of reasons.
The only thing is that back then the op wasn't notified for tags, it was pretty much a silent thing betweet you and your followers, now you can see all of them in the post's notes and notifications. So beware what you say, obviously don't be rude, and don't be alarmed if people answer to your tags, it's not so silent and discreet anymore. I kinda like reading people's tags on my posts but I prefered when mine weren't visible by everyone, to be honest lol
There is a character limit on tags, you can't actually add essays but you can write a lot (trust me). And as the comma and quotation marks "activates" the tag and separates them you can't write commas and quotation marks in the tags - I personally replace them with - or ; and ' when needed. It's something to get used to.
- Again on tags: typically, you put trigger warnings in the tags (though you'll see often posts starting with the tw, you can add both, just add them I guess), you can specify "personal" and "don't reblog" to warn people you'd like a cup of tea /i . And, not everyone does it but personally I appreciate when people tag the spoilers and specific themes, shows, characters or ships, so I can hide the posts marked with that tag.
- When tags are blocked you can still see the masked post show up in your dash, with its tags visible, which honestly is perfect bc you often get context in case you want to block words in certain contexts and not others, and if you block stuff momentarily (like spoilers) - you can still save the post to read it later without having to do it with your eyes closed.
- About discourse : of course there's discourse here, there's call out posts too, there's shit and obnoxious people just like everywhere else, don't come here with the idea that it's a heavenly place where everything is pretty and safe from all things annoying. There's discourse here too. There's bullying here too. About all sorts of subjects. (I've seen the queer slur discourse here like DAYS ago). There's shitty people here too. That's internet, contrary to what a certain post said, that's unescapable. And sure that's annoying but that's a fact of life - now you can shield yourself as much as possible by blocking people but honestly don't expect your experience to be way way different than Twitter in that aspect. Maybe less right wing old dudes bc Tumblr doesn't host the same démographic, though there was a nazi problem for a while, I don't know if they're still here tbqh, but that's overall not much much better, let's be honest.
- On your left, old time resident mr Neil Gaiman - but he answers "wait and see" to everything. /j
- Speaking of celebs, there isn't as many on Tumblr (it's said some have secret blogs but shhh 🤫), but there is often ask & answer events that are announced at the top of the dash.
- You won't be penalised for using certain words (even die or dead, the "unalive" wave doesn't crash on this shore), and you can put links if you like, even cashapp, kofi, paypal, etc, there's virtually nothing that will make you invisible in people's dashboards.
The only way you'll get shadowbanned here is if the Tumblr bots think you're a bot or a porn blog. Learn more here.
- But until recently, sorry there's a but, since the great "no tits" debacle, there's a bot that flagged your nuddity posts and it was so hilariously flawed omg (it flagged fucking DUNES I will never forget ahah) - anyway when they flag your post they hide it and you can make an appeal if needed, but honestly I don't think as much problem occured with it since a long while, that thing improved with time and the good thing is you can post artistic tits again! o/ yay
- There's virtually no character limit - there is one, but you'll need to write a long time until you hit it lol (I did once).
- Therefore : threads don't mean the same here. Here threads are successions of multiple people's comments. It makes for some interesting (and often hilarious) participative posts. Because there is no need here to cut your text into small posts, unless you are writing your memoirs or some shit. Look how much I've written already. 🫲Twitter could never. And if posts are long, you can add a "read more" button so it doesn't mean you have to scroll through gigantic blocs of text in your dash. and in the settings you can make long posts look shorter in your dash automatically.
- Related: threads aren't the same, you can't reblog/retweet a post that's in the middle of a thread. I mean, on Twitter you can RT the 1st tweet of the thread, or the 3rd, RT a reply easily - and in your TL only this one tweet appears - you can't really do that here. First of all here there is comments (or captions) and replies, those are not the same. If you want to reblog someone's comment to a post, you'll have to reblog it from their blogs - doable but honestly a bit tedious. And you will always reblog the last answer and all the ones that comes before. You reblog whole conversations, see.
So when you scroll through dash, you WILL experience mini heart attacks when seeing the 1st lines of some posts until you see the arguments that are closer to your moral standards - meaning you'll often see posts that are "shitty comment" then ten replies until you see the ones that says "wtf, it's shitty" - you need to endure the whole thing until you see stuff you agree with ahah, trust me this is FUN
- Here you don't livetweet, you liveblog. Otherwise it's the same. I'm sad I can't do both at the same time but it's equally fun on twitter and tumblr, especially for ESC.
- Like Tumblr said on Twitter: if you scroll your dash long enough you will have seen all of your friends posts. Yes.
- You can make your experience a lot better with the New XKit extension. Explaining it would take a whole ass post of its own so I'm not going to do that here but they have an account here where they explain everything, give updates and answer questions. I can only suggest to give it a look once you're familiar with how Tumblr works without it and with what doesn't work well.
- You can edit posts. You can schedule posts. Take it in 😌
You can edit them and actually - WOW - civilisation hasn't collapsed and bad people still can be held accountable for their shitty comments! Like on Facebook and Instagram too. Let it happen on Twitter, let it be the one good thing that'll happen amidst that awful chaos.
There's a twist though: you can edit your post, sure, but if someone reblogged the post before you could edit it, there will be two versions of your post in the wild. It can be a little bit frustrating. One way to avoid that: let your big and important posts sit in the drafts for a while so you can fix it before publishing it. An advice I never seem to follow.😬
- You can also change text size, font, put it in bold, italic, colour, you can make it gradiant like in Skyblog's most glorious hours, etc, and yes you can put alt text on pictures. You can add links or pictures in the middle of a post - I mean those are blog posts, so 🤷‍♀️
- The app is shit though ☆(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ* (to be fair not as much as a few years back, honestly, but still, not ideal)(I'm using the app 🥲)
- And you can't translate posts easily, which tbh I think is a big flaw
- Tumblr is flawed but fun and it can be better, the updates are always shit, but it has well intentions and a nice staff.
I guess there's a lot of other stuff to say but honestly we've covered the main things to know and more. All the "rules" and "etiquette" you will learn as you go, Tumblr is no rocket science, it's simple and fun, it's a meme goldmine, great community experience. There's not real rules, you can use that site however you want, no one cares, nothing is serious, have fun, don't let people gatekeep this place with bs rules, build your space as you like, make it look like you. Welcome 👋
Edit: here is a post giving a tour of the settings + some reco about Xkit
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klonoadreams · 2 years
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Fuck it, y’all, I’ve spent more than a week on a shitpost and then took a lot less time to mess with this one, that y’all are getting to see it posted on this website.
I’ll take my chances with bots, so I hope y’all enjoy Cowkini Magni.
By the by, felt called the fuck out when he brought up how he saw us drawing him in a cow print bikini, AND THE PROCEEDED TO SAY, SARCASTICALLY, “Aw man, I hate that so much. Aw man, it’d be a shame to see more of that.”
It’s been wild. Never thought I’d get this invested in HoloTempus, but their debut really did come at a time I was unemployed and otherwise just dealing with the situation at my previous work place.
I’m back to work at my university for the school year, so I no longer have to worry about money again. More than that, it seems that this iPad I got was a solid investment if I can somehow crank out shit like this.
Hope you’re happy Axel Syrios, I literally set aside the other thing I was working on to make this the instant he dropped the “cowkini Magni” in chat.
(idk how Magni became my muse when I tend to follow Vesper more closely lmaoooo)
(still, my search history has been ruined by this endeavor, so it’s only fair I own up to it)
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xcayde6 · 5 years
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staff: our bot is very reliable tumblr bot:
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captainextremis · 4 years
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“Dis isn’t some puny Killa Kan, so get read ta get krumped, all ya grots! Dis is no Killa Kan!”
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emo-beatles · 4 years
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Some article: Yoko was the only woman John ever loved
John, a bisexual: that’s true
John, a bisexual: and this is Paul McCartney. The only man I’ve ever loved
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danse-de-macabre · 5 years
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kudariii · 5 years
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this is a terrible edit but i had to take the chance @khytal
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dragonwithgoggles · 5 years
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ascians only
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81sludge · 6 years
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gaynoctgar · 6 years
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Adam Croasdell: comes out and says that Ignis is probably gay, like he is very proud of it, and enthusiastically supports the fans' LGBT intepretations of Ignis/the game.
Square Enix, probably:
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