#I should stay away from these novels for my own sake

[memorydragon]

Spoilers ahead. Confusing spoilers if you haven't started the novel, but if you're half-way through please scroll past.

So when I say this scene is what drove me mental years ago back when I first started reading Po Yun and Tun Hai, that reading it again even after so many years still made me feral. This was the Ride or Die moment that never left while translations were dropped and disappearing. Please understand when I say that reading again after reading the whole novel makes me 10x more feral than before. That is not an exaggeration. I am 100% not okay and these are crying in the club hours. F̴̻̹̊͑̉̿e̵̘̠͈͗ͅr̶̞̠͍̮̓̊͠ā̶͈̹̅̓͠ḻ̵͓̏͑͘.

Because Wu Yu's long, long panic attack, because when he's finally able to come up for air when the waves recede just the slightest, he's pushed back down again and again, because his 'safe' person has been taken away.

Because this 'elite' who had an easy life, just admitted he'd been dragged from the fire when he was nine years old after his parents were murdered in front of him. This person who wants to take him out of this hell and pull him back, who should be safe, is covering Wu Yu with his whole body, cradling his head and covering his eyes as a ruthless mob decends on them. Because this shouldn't be happening again - but death follows behind him mercilessly cutting everyone down but leaving him. Because dying is easy living is more difficult. Bu Chonghua's blood is on his face and this person should be safe but keeping their promise requires sacrifice. Please don't promise any more.

(Bu Chonghua was supposed to run. He was supposed to leave Wu Yu to deal with the mob. But if he'd done that, people would have died, and it probably wouldn't be Wu Yu, and he'd promised to pull Wu Yu back from this abyss. He wouldn't let the rage of the mob swallow Wu Yu like a wave, dragging him back under. As they beat him, he cradle's Wu Yu's head and covers his eyes, because he won't give Wu Yu up, not to the ocean or to fire, and I'm so fucking Normal about this.)

Liao Gang sees Wu Yu at the hospital and knows something is wrong. Something is off, this is not the meek and submissive Wu Yu they've met for these past few months. He correctly pulls Wu Yu aside and instead of admonishing him to go get checked over, he says 'hey, why don't you get checked out by the hospital because someone needs to look after Captain Bu tonight. If you let them patch you up, you'll be put with the captain.' And Wu Yu finally - finally relents and allows the hospital staff to look him over.

When the lights are off and he can't sleep because there's no light he tries to trace over the current Bu Chonghua with the memory of the child he'd saved in the past, and he can't sleep but he can finally breathe. Now he can agree that Bu Chonghua and Zhang Boming are different, that Bu Chonghua isn't just an elite who sends his subordinates to death for greater glory, but someone who wants to pull him back. (And I'm putting it more politely. I honestly love that Wu Yu is still sort of cursing Bu Chonghua out when he says this, because of course he is, and Bu Chonghua is immediately gonna chew him out for smoking. I love Them.)

But when he wakes up, Bu Chonghua is gone. The hospital bed is empty and cold, and there's a committee of directors who have come to question him. He asks where his safe person Bu Chonghua is, but they put him off, saying they just want to ask a few questions. Bu Chonghua has been isolated because there's been a death - death always follows him - and they're pushing the blame on him and Bu Chonghua. Why did Zhang Boming jump to his death? What did you say to him? Why did you survive? What right do you have to survive? He'll take all the blame on himself. He was the one who killed the suspect, Bu Chonghua didn't hurt any of the mob. It was him, it was all him, and what right do you have to speak about loyalty and sacrifice, when the hospital report on their injuries is right in front of you. They assume Wu Yu will see this is just a formality, but he doesn't have the frame of reference they knew he should It wasn't him with that frame of reference, he never had one and he lashes out. They're caging him, blaming him again, and what right do you have to talk about loyalty to someone who is on the front lines?

What right do you have to come back? What right do you have to survive?

After they sedate him and bring him back, leaving him in confinement (there's a bed, his wounds have been dressed, and there's even a tv and above average food left out for him. It's a plush confinement, only for one night. They think they're going easy on him and he should be grateful, because no one told them he's panicking and has been in danger undercover his whole life for twelve years and he hasn't been able to handle eating meat since he was a child. The lights are off when he wakes up, and he's alone. The lights are off and no one is responding when he asks them to turn on the lights. No one is there when he's progressively slipping back under the waves of panic. And when he lifts the lid on the food, all he can smell is meat.

He bites his own finger, trying to wash it out with the smell of the disinfectant from his wounds and blood, but he can still smell the meat that he spilt in his own revulsion and the lights are still off. (Wu Yu, little fish, I'm not blaming you, but please, please learn to talk about your triggers and let people know so they can accommodate you, because they would actually like to accommodate you and you're not weak because you have ptsd, you're breaking our hearts. Also, as an aside, Song Ping is actually quite hilarious in this fight. He's not to blame either, but he's making things so much worse and I love that Bu Chonghua has to yell at both of them to calm down because they're both set off on his sake)

And when someone finally comes, finally turns on the lights, they're blaming him. Look how you're acting! You're acting like a spoiled child when we've sacrifed been so nice to you! We've brought you back here, to this place you've worked for several months, your new home!

Except he never came back.

He was never brought back.

He was sacrificed for to catch the criminal. He died because his life was less important than catching someone on the wrong side of the law.

He was never asked if he wanted this sacrifice. He never wanted to be a cop. Who is Wu Yu? He's never had a name. Let him go, let him go - let him go!

He was never brought back. He never came back - Zhang Boming made the correct choice, but he never came back. The sacrifice was chosen, the promise was paid. Why did he survive? What right did Wu Yu have to survive when we he never came back.

"Wu Yu!"

He never came back.

"It's me. Okay, calm down." Someone restraining him, and he struggles automatically, but slowly stops. "It's me, Wu Yu. It's me. Just calm down."

Bu Chonghua came back. Held him above the water untll he could catch his breath. And finally, finally...

The boy left his own blood on Bu Chonghua's cheek, disappearing for twenty years, leaving only one command - Survive.

"I arrived late."

"I was just a little worried. It wasn't very late." It wasn't his whole life twelve years. It was only one nightmare. You pulled me back.

The boy who rushed off to save a child he didn't know finally appeared before Bu Chonghua again. He came back.

He came back.

[immediatebreakfast]

Here is the book. Take it and keep it, read it if you will, but never let me know; unless, indeed, some solemn duty should come upon me to go back to the bitter hours, asleep or awake, sane or mad, recorded here.

Jonathan giving the journal, and his whole trust to Mina.

Then I kissed it and showed it to my husband, and told him that I would keep it so, and then it would be an outward and visible sign for us all our lives that we trusted each other; that I would never open it unless it were for his own dear sake or for the sake of some stern duty. 

Mina giving her promise of trust, and silence as a response.

In a novel that has been explaining how important communication is no matter what, both Mina and Jonathan decide to be entirely honest with eachother both before, and after marriage. In a weakened state, and with the looming question of what truly happened in that horrible place, they decide to open up, and give the other an opportunity to reassure their trust for eachother.

Jonathan knows that from today Mina will get curious about the journal. It is something that he deems inevitable because of Mina's curiosity, so instead of shutting himself, and her as a way to protect his mind from such forgotten yet horrible real or not dreams, Jonathan simply tells Mina that she can read it. It will be painful, distressing, and I dare to say shameful to hand over what he deems to be his ramblings in a feverish state, but for Jonathan this is something he has to do for Mina first. He doesn't want to keep any secrets from her, no matter how painful they are, so he gives away the journal with the promise of telling him nothing. It's all Jonathan asks, read it if you wish for that, but please tell me nothing.

Mina's heartwarming response to Jonathan's trust is one of reassurance. She tells him that she will keep the journal, and that It will be a reminder in the future that this moment was defining for their marriage, but that it will only stay at that, a moment. Mina sets both hers, and Jonathan's eyes towards a warmer tomorrow where the shadows of Transylvania are only a bad memory in their lives, and the journal stays sealed with those horribke nightmares locked away. Even if Mina is truly curious about the contents, she puts all of that aside to focus on what truly matters. Maybe one day Mina will gaze at the journal, and wonder, but today Mina has promised and given back the trust that Jonathan gave her.

And the most important thing is how the narrative doesn't call any of their actions as wrong, or as a mistake. There is no subtext that implies that Jonathan is making a mistake for giving the journal to Mina, there is not a single shred of any doubt that forebonds any kind of error from Mina's choice of sealing the diary.

The open, and honest communication between Mina and Jonathan is a good choice supported by the narrative that both do out of love, and respect for eachother's boundaries in this unorthodox marriage.

[steviewashere]

I know that I've technically already talked about this when the conversation began arising surrounding Chappell Roan's boundaries—alongside other celebrities' boundaries when they're not making/performing art—but I just need to fucking get this out of my system:

"Joseph Quinn rare picture" "Joe Keery rare picture" "other celebrity name placeholder rare picture"

THEY'RE NOT RARE PICTURES FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

You deliberately went out of your way to find these celebrities' families on social media, stalked their pages, found the photos you wanted, and then reposted onto other social media accounts that are outside of the comfort zone of those celebrities' families. You didn't find a rare picture. You found a photo of Joseph Quinn when he was twelve, hanging out with his schoolmates on like his mother's Facebook page and claiming it as rare, when it is indeed not.

And you may be like, but Stevie, how do you know it's from a Facebook page?

Are you really going to look me in the eyes, in front of my fucking salad, and tell me that Joseph Quinn or Joe Keery or some other celebrity went out of their way to scour through their pre-fame photo albums and posted them online for the whole world to see? Are you really going to look me in the eyes and tell me a picture that does not show up on these celebrities' own social media pages—(Quinn's Instagram or the Djotime Instagram or what the fuck ever)—are some rare, dime a dozen photos from like 2013 on the Wayback Machine or something?

No, you aren't. You aren't going to just outwardly confess to me that you found these by breaking boundaries. Because some people are fucking weirdos who want to omit where they got these pictures.

I think of it as this, too (and not to make it all trauma dumping bullshit or whatever), but like—

Both of my parents are deceased. If I, somehow, rose to fame later in my life—let's say I follow through with my dream of becoming a graphic novel author/illustrator—and some pictures of me from my 8th grade dance just popped up one day on Pinterest, I would know immediately that somebody went scouring through my mom's Facebook page. It would be so fucking weird to me that somebody went out of their way to deliberately research who my mother was, found her Facebook profile, bypassed all the in memoriam posts, and downloaded a photo of me when I was fucking thirteen to claim as a "rare" photo.

That should be a breech of privacy, right? That's what I would view it as. I'd fucking delete all my social media pages and tell you all to stay the fuck away from me. What I share on my pages is what I want to share, I'm not going to go around and show off my middle school photos for the entire world to see—those are for my friends and family who I share in the privacy of my life.

How is this not the same for celebrities? How is it suddenly different to do this to J.Q. or somebody else? Those aren't pictures he's openly shared, and I know that just by scrolling on his Instagram page, the only social media page he has, mind you.

Stop bypassing boundaries, you fucking weirdos. It's online harassment and stalking. And it makes you look slimy and disgusting. And I wish you the worse if you disagree.

[dduane]

The Novel as Cake

    I was reading through the 'writing' tag on your blog, and came across your wonderful post about how you outline your novels using Cherryh's 'Shopping List' technique. My question is - how do you decide/come up with the 10 things in the novel? I have about 3-4 things I know must happen in my idea, and other random details about the world. But what is important enough to be one of the 10 things? And also, how do you generate your ideas for those 10 things? - Asked by Anonymous

…Okay, let’s take this from the top. (And for convenience’s sake, let’s stay in the shopping-list idiom; it’s useful enough.) (ETA: the blog entry that discusses the Shopping List outlining method is here.)

Let’s say you want to make a cake. …This cake also being your novel.

To have a solid story (in the western-novel tradition, anyway), you need at least two things: plot and theme. The plot is what happens. The theme is the why of what happens, and (to a certain extent) the book-wide spectrum of thought and emotion that underlies that; the answer to the question “But what’s the book about?”* …Think of this duality, for the moment, as the equivalent of having both liquid and solid stuff in your cake. You’ve got to have both or it won’t rise. A book with a plot but no theme has no soul.

So: you’re going to make a cake. What kind?

As an example, I’m going to ease myself out onto a limb here and equate “chocolate-chip devil’s food with chocolate buttercream frosting” with “epic-fantasy quest fiction with strong political, exoreligious, and quasiromantic components.” (A favorite for me, over time, as some folks will have noticed. I just can’t get enough of those chocolate chips…)

So how do you determine the ten things you need (or whatever number you like, but ten works for me) as major ingredients / sections?

Well, ideally from some familiarity with what has gone in other/similar cakes/works of fiction in the past: because (in genre fiction, anyway) you have at least some reader expectations to manage. If you haven’t been reading in your chosen genre, you really should be. ...Now, this doesn’t mean you have to do what other people working in the genre have done. Indeed, at all times you remain at liberty to “flip the punchcard” and do exactly the opposite of what everybody else has been doing, if that’s what suits you. But they’ve set out possible recipes for you, so (as a beginner at this work) it'd seem wise to examine those recipes and see what’s in them that might be useful for you. Once you’ve been doing this for a while, you don’t need to go looking, just as an experienced baker doesn’t need to run for the recipe book every time they want to make a cake.

Naturally you can substitute ingredients, add some or lose some, when you’re creating something new; just as you like—while always making sure you don’t throw away anything routinely required/expected in your genre. (Such as, for example, the Happily Ever After at the end of a genre romance.) But certain basics must be in place, things that make what you’re creating recognizably A Cake, as well as your own additions and embellishments.

In this case, that could be:

For a cake: flour, milk, eggs, butter, baking powder, cocoa, chocolate chips, vanilla extract, seasonings, a little bit of salt (because without that, even the sweetest cake tastes just a little insipid somehow)

For a novel: a protagonist/pairtagonist (is that a word? It is now…); an antagonist (not necessarily a character: an antagonistic or stymie-ing situation that keeps the antagonist from easily getting what they want/need will do just as well. This is where at least some of the interior drama will derive from); a change in interior or exterior conditions that sets events in motion; a “ticking clock” or similar construct that means the desired result must be achieved within a certain time or before certain conditions change or expire; various reversals or hiccups in the flow of the story that will inject a sense of realism (because when does anything ever go perfectly smoothly…?); a crisis point at which everything assembled against the protagonist rises up to be dealt with, and the protagonist rises up to meet the challenge and deal with it; and finally, a set of resolution events that (even if it doesn’t absolutely finish the story proper) brings about an end state that will leave you, and any theoretical reader, satisfied with the completion of the current story arc.

…Needless to say, this is an incredibly oversimplified take on the kind of strategizing needed when you’re creating the recipe for a novel that won’t simply collapse the minute you take it out of the oven. But starting simply is often best. The more you do this kind of work, the easier it gets.

Now: “How do you generate your ideas for those 10 things?”

There are a lot of possible answers to this, but the simplest is: Make them up out of nothing, as usual. :)

…This isn’t meant to sound like sass. You made up those first three or four things you came up with out of nothing, and now (because they’ve been there for a while, probably) they may well have started to acquire a kind of secret, temporally-based superiority in your mind—starting to feel somehow more valid than what needs to come next to fill in the gaps. This kind of creeping sense of validity-via-temporal-primacy is a commonplace when you’re in mid-process, and I invite you to ignore it.

Just insert those three or four things into your shopping list in (roughly) story-temporal order, and then spend some time thinking about what kinds of events could usefully come between / flow from them. Hints:

Events that could realistically have been caused by the ones you’ve got already, and could also realistically be seen as causal to later ones you’ve already established, are always useful. Ideally, you’re trying to establish a chain of events in which none of them look accidental, or coincidental (because readers are rightfully sensitive to plots that only work because all the characters are idiots, or keep having “lucky accidents”). What you’re working toward is an event flow that seems, when viewed in completion, inevitable: as if it couldn’t have happened any other way. You will almost certainly not achieve this easily, early on in your novel work, and maybe not at all. But it strikes me as a good thing to be striving for.

Events that badly screw things up for the main characters are also always useful. Heroes do not become heroes by having everything go their way. Their heroism is achieved and manifested by having things go to shit around them again and again and AGAIN, and nonetheless still finding their way through all that shit to do what needs to be done. The lines attributed to the Confucianist philosopher Meng-tse (sometimes translated from Japanese into English as “Mōshi”) are a touchstone in this regard:

When Heaven is about to confer a great office upon a man, it first exercises his mind with suffering and his sinews and bones with toil: it exposes him to poverty and confounds all his undertakings. Then it is seen if he is ready.

So put your protagonists through the wringer. This is the greatest service you can do them: showing who they are by showing what they're made of.

A variant on this theme: Spend a little time thinking, “What is the absolute worst thing that could happen to these characters in this story / in this world?” And when you’ve figured that out, stick it into one of those gaps as a Main Thing—ideally one between the story’s midpoint and its already-planned crisis, if you’ve got that in place—and then start thinking about how to best exploit it to show how terrific your characters can become if you kick them around a bit. (Addendum: you are allowed to have one Absolutely Terrific and Beautiful Thing happen to assist your characters in recovering from this awfulness. Because they deserve it; but also, all invented worlds [if you ask me] should have beautiful things in them—things to long for, things that make your reader wish they could live there. And that you find beautiful, and worth returning to. You are absolutely allowed to keep yourself entertained, and emotionally refreshed, while you’re creating.)

…Anyway, take your time about getting those gaps filled in. It may take a little while: laying down basic story structure is worth not rushing, if you can avoid it. Once you’ve got everything major in place, the secondary lists will follow more easily.

HTH!

*This is a hilarious oversimplification, but my job at the moment is not (as the saying goes) to explain the workings of the entire universe while standing on one foot. :)

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hello, the event sounds fun! Can I be 👁️ anon?

I'm quiet and low-key standoffish, but also adventurous and carefree.

I always have something to joke about and can't seem to stay still for too long. I tend to be very blunt but at least, I'm very accepting too.

I like outdoor activities, like going for a walk or hiking. But I also enjoy the most calm ones, like the cinema or a museum. It's fun as long it's outside.

My hobby is reading novels, searching about ancient empires and learning new languages.

Hiya! You certainly can! ^^

I match you up on a blind date with...

Ryuya Ryudo

Ryu is a carefree, capable, honourable man, who puts people's wellbeing before his own, as he was willing to sacrifice his magic for the sake of the many. But he's still very lively and free spirited. However, he's not put off by someone being more quiet and reserved.

He also enjoys being active, and sitting still for all day isn't his favourite method of passing time. Though him being the shogun does limit his ability to go on adventures these days, he doesn't shy away from little trips every now and then. I mean... if anything the shogun should see for himself how his people are doing, right?

He isn't phased by people telling him the facts, how it is, but rather is able to retain the information given. If it is an opinion, he's able to leave some of them in their own worth. As said, he's a very secure person, and isn't easily phased. He knows who he is.

But just like any warrior, he does balance it out by educating himself through literature, and isn't a stranger to writing haiku or reading. Because a part of life's adventure is taking a moment to relax, perhaps dip into the onsen.

He is both active and laid back

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough Ch 28

His departure gave Catherine the first experimental conviction that a loss may be sometimes a gain.

Ding dong the witch is dead in London and all the children rejoice! Everything would be perfect if Catherine wasn't worried about overstaying her welcome. Such a relatable moment, even if I don't have the leisure of staying at a friend's house for a month. "So... were you planning on having me for dinner or should I skedaddle?"

Catherine burst in on Eleanor mid sentence to ask if she needs to head home, oh Catherine! Gotta love that Catherine is totally find with staying another month, to be a trust fund baby...

She did—almost always—believe that Henry loved her, and quite always that his father and sister loved and even wished her to belong to them; and believing so far, her doubts and anxieties were merely sportive irritations.

❤️❤️❤️ So cute!

I feel so much for Eleanor when she has to tell Catherine to get lost. She walks upstairs, puts her hand on the doorknob, but isn't able to open it or knock, she just stands there. Which reminds me of Fanny Price:

Too soon did she find herself at the drawing-room door; and after pausing a moment for what she knew would not come, for a courage which the outside of no door had ever supplied to her, she turned the lock in desperation

Catherine opens the door and seeing Eleanor pale, begins to comfort her, not knowing what is to come. And then when she does hear the news, she is VERY nice about it. She keeps telling Eleanor she's not offended and offers a bunch of ideas of what they can do, before the General's unkindness is fully known.

Eleanor describing her father: His temper is not happy, and something has now occurred to ruffle it in an uncommon degree. He is a treasure...

This in particular is very generous of Catherine:

It was with pain that Catherine could speak at all; and it was only for Eleanor’s sake that she attempted it. “I am sure,” said she, “I am very sorry if I have offended him. It was the last thing I would willingly have done. But do not be unhappy, Eleanor. An engagement, you know, must be kept. I am only sorry it was not recollected sooner, that I might have written home. But it is of very little consequence.”

This line is cute: Eleanor with more goodwill than experience intent upon filling the trunk

However, Catherine is somewhat offended by her manner of being sent away and she does at first refuse to continue her friendship with Eleanor:

No, Eleanor, if you are not allowed to receive a letter from me, I am sure I had better not write. There can be no doubt of my getting home safe.” Eleanor only replied, “I cannot wonder at your feelings. I will not importune you. I will trust to your own kindness of heart when I am at a distance from you.” But this, with the look of sorrow accompanying it, was enough to melt Catherine’s pride in a moment, and she instantly said, “Oh, Eleanor, I will write to you indeed.”

It lasts for like five seconds, but I think it does really show Catherine's growth. She was always too ready to forgive and gloss over Isabella's faults.

Her last thought before leaving is of Henry, poor girl!

As a last note, Eleanor Tilney is far more of a Gothic heroine than Catherine, we leave her alone in the Abbey, a tyrannical father to pacify and her brother away from home. All this time, she has been in love with the Mysterious Lord Laundrylist (Not a lord yet, but still). I love how Jane Austen includes very Gothic characters in her novels, but always in the background. Jane Fairfax is another example.

[peachymilkandcream]

Levi roughly fucks her mouth because she was talking back too much.

Levi x Evelyn -> Shut your Mouth

A/N: Sorry for not getting to this sooner! I was absolutely swamped this weekend, thanks for the prompt! ^^

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

============================================

Levi was already behind on work, usually he enjoyed the meticulous nature of paperwork but being this far behind made him loathe it. In reality he only had himself to blame for getting behind but he could never admit that, it was always someone else's fault, he could never be in the wrong.

Since Evelyn always seemed to try and escape while he was at work, this time he brought her with him to ensure her security. Plus it also put people's minds at ease that she was doing well since to the younger Scouts she was a beloved veteran. Never did he regret it more when all she was doing was riding his ass over trivial things like consent.

"I can't believe I'm stuck here all day with you. Stuck in this confined room with a rapist. If anyone knew what you really were that shiny career of yours? Gone, poof. Into thin air."

"Can you shut the fuck up?" He buried his fingers into his temples.

"And why should I? Can't handle the truth? Can't handle hearing about the shit you really do to me? Trying to block it out like it never happened?"

"For fuck's sake woman I'm trying to get some work done and I'd appreciate if you shut your damn mouth so I don't have to hear your noise! If you think that because of where we are I'll not punish you you're horribly mistaken." He stayed staring daggers into her eyes for a moment before dropping them down again to his desk.

Evelyn went silent for a good long moment, Levi figured she must have gotten the picture and resigned herself to being a silent wife. However after a few moments she opened her mouth again with a mocking laugh.

"What? You thought I'd sit here like a prim princess content with being in the same room as my amazing and loving husband? You must be more stupid than I thought."

"That's it." Levi slammed his hands on the desk as he stood, crossing around to her quickly, now she was scared. She started to back up, her eyes wide as she looks up at him.

"Wait Levi- I'm-"

"Don't even think about it. You don't get to spew your shit and then expect me to forgive you with a simple I'm sorry you don't mean. If you're going to say something own up to it and take the consequences." He grabbed a fistful of her hair as she tried to slide away. "Now I think you only use your mouth to be an insufferable bitch, how about we find a better use for it." With his free hand he fumbles with his belt.

Now she struggles, crying, pleading saying she didn't mean it. The act was almost amusing, it was all tough talk until she was punished for it.

As her mouth is open while she cries he uses the opportunity to slide his whole length down her throat all at once. She gags, bringing more tears to her eyes as she tries to calm down before throwing up.

"That's right, suck on the dick of the man you hate, don't you eat that shit up in those novels you used to be so obsessed with?" He laughs, tightening his grip on her hair before rocking his hips towards her face.

Tears flow down her face, she wills herself to relax so that his dick slides in and out with a bit more ease. Drool drips down her chin from his thickness, it's in times like these she looks the most beautiful to him. Sitting and taking whatever he has to give like a good little wife.

"Good girl, just take it. Take it all." He moves his hips faster, making her close her eyes to focus on making her throat loose enough for him. He had to be impressed with her efforts at least.

Levi had fantasies and dreams of taking her in every place that had once held happy memories of their days before marriage. He knew all she had to cling onto were the good memories of times before, he wanted to stain anyplace with a good memory into a memory of her submitting to him.

The fact that this place, the one where they shared so many good memories of staying up late and talking, listening to her laugh over something funny she heard, hiding erections whenever she cleaned, read from one of those novels, or breathed. This place would now remind her of this moment, of him fucking her mouth good and hard, it made him twitch in her mouth.

"I'm going to cum, and you're going to take it all."

Evelyn cries, as if begging him not to, he barely bites back a grin. "I thought you'd have no objections."

He pushes himself all the way in before climaxing, hot cum dripping down her throat.

He stays like this for a moment, coming down from his high and making sure not a drop was wasted. When he pulled out he saw Evelyn was ready to spit the rest out so he shut her mouth and pinched her nose, closing off air.

"Swallow." His tone was commanding, when she refused he pinched harder. "Fucking swallow, I'm not going to let you breathe until you do."

He eventually won when he saw the bob in her throat as she swallowed, finally letting go of her so she could sputter and gasp for air.

"Good girl." He left her there on the floor, going back to his desk and sitting down, thankfully now he could work with a clear head.

[sinkableruby]

owarimonogatari ge spoilers. rgu spoilers too i think

himemiya anthy and oshino ougi are both girls who exist for guys

and yeah i hear you thinking what, misogyny ?! toxic masculinity ?! thats not a big part of ougis arc and yeah it isnt and also other gender stuff BUT. the spirit is still there!! and i have to say it in that way first to do anthy's part justice

bc they Are both people who exist solely for others sake. their ability to define their own existences have been taken away from them. they have no agency! anthy obviously but also ougi has never had agency. ougi was created by araragi to do certain things he couldn't do himself, and this was literally the sole purpose of their existence. if ur in that situation what are you gonna do? not do it? and probably like, cease to exist bc the universe's internal coding is a total asshole? you don't have a choice, you just gotta accept the burden.

they're very silly and goofy and sinister and smiley about it of course but like. i'll say it now a lot of those smiles are not happy. i mean you look at the light novels oshino "ppl are so dumb i have to laugh at them but im crying when im laughing" ougi (edgelord ougi confirmed? LOL ok ok not really) oshino 'araragi theorizes her smile was poignant bc she knew how short her life would be' ougi like yeah ok. get a life, literally. lol (note this is also. for those who have read it. what ougi stay is about. and what my next big thing is going to be about. this is what the significance. anyway)

and anthy does the same thing! all this fucked up shit happens around her and To her and she just watches it all with the same smile like nothing's wrong. the parallels are insane you guys you cant make this shit up. anthy smiling like nothing is wrong during the duels before slowly realizing she doesn't want to be separated from utena is the same as ougi smiling while about to be erased forever even though she doesnt want to die. its parallels!!!!!! even where ougi's situation gets a little muddied with her being Literally araragi (even though she is still the part of him that he ejected and pushed all this work onto and still just exists for him at first so i wouldnt say this is a point against my analysis here), it still very much applies. and that part of 'being him' can loop back around and extend anthy if you want it to. she does whatever her fiancee wants her to, is molded to and reflects them. a reflection-- is that not, in a very big sense, what ougi is for araragi? you could even say that for anthy, the fiancee of the rose bride's attempted domination of her is a way to dominate the femininity within them, to quell and control it. (if this doesnt make sense my excuse is that i havent finished watching yet. but i think it does make sense, and a lot of it, actually)

theyve both got their Roles to play, and play them they do. anthy, the rose bride, and ougi, the culprit, the bad guy. i think about that 'bad guy' framing a lot too btw. when ougi is talking about her unfazed appearance when faced with Forever Death Via Black Hole, shes like 'don't you hate it when in mystery novels the bad guy is so calm in the face of their comeuppance? yeah that sucks so just letting you know im terrified 👍. gotta wonder what happens when your matter gets erased completely yk. like whats that gotta be like lol.' (not even exaggerating at all really) (also shes so funny she relates everything to mystery novels bc she loves them thats so sweet and real i love that :)) (and then she proceeded to say 'nah i think the culprit should kill themself instead' but i wont get into it)

theyve also both got those cute little interests come to think of it. anthy loves like animals and stuff and ougi loves their mysteries. are these two the Same Character (joking) (but really they should hang out)

theres a line in one of the short stories that summarizes it really well, describing ougi as 'a puppet who had come to life.' and yeah, basically. it's implied to be after the ougi dark resolution so there i have even more ✨textual evidence✨ but like fr. its an incredibly apt description for ougi. if yotsugi is a doll, then ougi is a puppet, who has gained agency (and thats the thing, rgu and monogatari are giving these agency-robbed characters agency, thats what ougi dark did, and im like p sure thats what rgu is going to do i havent finished it lol but i did get sorta spoiled on the ending so i think its gonna. in monogatari... its more rocky i feel. its not cut and dry, its not like whoops you have agency forever completely now. its like you Kinda have it. you Maybe Mostly have it. it's complicated i'm writing about it)... i wonder when yotsugi will get her agency, but part of me wonders if nisioisins plan is that she wont. because she's a doll, she's too stuck, she's fixed to what others need her for, she can't work by herself. she hasn't "come to life" yet like ougi has (being a corpse might do that to you)

anyway uhhhh i'm right good night

[pluviisopibus]

Fourth Wing Ask Meme (Part 3)

An assortment of quotes from Rebecca Yarros' novel "FOURTH WING." Some phrases have been altered for the sake of clarity for this purpose.

As of this moment, I'm taking over.

Relationships are incomprehensible.

Your arm is shot, [NAME].

I'm used to functioning in pain.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

[NAME] says if you harm me, he/she/they'll burn you.

Word for word.

I would rather die than harm you.

No one stays friends forever.

Eventually, those closest to us become our enemies in some ways.

Funny how people rename everything's that makes them feel uncomfortable.

It's been my honor.

Even when I'm not with you, there's only you.

We can live as cowards or die as riders.

I thought you said kissing me was a mistake.

Blades aren't the only way to disarm an opponent.

Tell me, [NAME], are you disarmed?

You will not fall. I will not allow it.

Stay the hell away from him/her/them.

Fuck, that stubborn, feisty look always makes me want to kiss you.

When did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think about me?

Stay close to him/her/them until I return.

The longer you wait on those steps, the greater your fear has a chance to grow.

Cross the parapet before the terror owns you.

Was everyone's dragon a curmudgeon? Or just mine?

If we let fear kill whatever this is between us, then we don't deserve it.

I appreciate the elevation to deity, but my name will do.

Thank you for being my friend.

It's because you have no faith in me.

You still think I won't make it.

I fucking hate you.

That doesn't make you special.

It should be against the rules to look that good and be so ruthless.

[gerrymike]

Writing pointers Ive internalised up to now more or less for my own reference no one asked but i needed the refresher

- classic show not tell kinda subscribed to the Palahniuk school i dont have the article on hand but it’s good even though i forget to do it sometimes. My philosophy is show for the 80% of time where showing lets you puppet around sexier pictures, tell for maybe 20% of the time when you have a specific voice to the telling and if the pictures the showing makes are pointless/redundant/slow-downs. okay hey wait I found the article it’s called “Nuts and bolts”

- Ocean Vuong on metaphors where the metaphor HAS to serve a purpose or connect to something, or at least have an “underneath” underside to it that can’t be accessed through any other means, note: sometimes the metaphor comes to you but usually if you feel real strong about it and can’t seem to replace it with anything else then it’s probably got a hidden layer already that will show itself to you with time even if it doesn’t really make sense in the moment. This pointer is the main source of my anguish when i read my old stuff because Im always like fucccckkkkk this metaphor is so gauche, what are you doing

- again i dont fkin remember where this is from but the thing about external/internal prose - God i swear this is from someone’s medium account but i don’t know. Basically interior novels where page space is mainly your character’s thoughts VS physical space novels, with your characters moving around, acting out and interacting with an environment with their thoughts maybe veiled from reader. Kind of ties into Nuts and Bolts with the showing, but on a diff level I like to stay in the external realm in a way where you could block the whole novel as a play with clearer, charming actions that can translate to visually compelling stage directions. Of course it depends on how interior/exterior your narrator/character is but in principle i find it easy to dislike overly interior narrators (why should your reader care what your narrator thinks??)

- secondary to prev point, if the movement/interactions you block aren’t inherently stylish then they should serve a purpose, moving your characters from point A to point B necessitates a relevant activity at point B, a push factor away from point A, or valuable information communicated from what happens in the journey…wait i say stylish a lot i dunno if ykwim best example i can think of is from Miss Julie where (even though it’s secondary to the dialogue at hand) while Julie tries to bargain with Christine you have Jean VISIBLE TO THE AUDIENCE in the wings of the stage sharpening his razor two hands nodding to himself as she repeats exactly the words he used to bargain with her <- THAT is style

- kinda boils down to the common thing about ensuring motivations for all of your characters, like all of them should have wants that drive them to be in places (if you flesh your guys out wholly enough this should come naturally)

- on character voices best if you can reach a point where you can basically hear them chatting at you in your head: best examples I think are like, Mercymorn from the locked tomb (crazy brilliant and bonkers voicing from muir imo), Tennessee williams plays (but they’re plays so obviously the voices are meant to be heard - i just personally haven’t seen any of them performed so i hear them 100% based on williams’ skill in writing dialogue)… no real tips on getting to this point but if you’re going for a specific brogue obviously listening to it helps. Though the point of writing fiction is ofc that it’s fiction and you can make your characters talk funnier and smarter than anyone in real life might so like: liberties, my philosophy is style over realism in the tradition of stage monologues and the like, where your characters chat in the manner you wish people around you talked all the time (STRIKE THROUGH THE MASK!!!!!)

- word count for sake of word count is your enemy if you ever catch yourself writing a scene that bores you, if it bores your reader then no ones gonna be happy. Cut it and frame it in a way that you like enough to keep in at all costs

- lowkey been trying to cut down my semicolon usage because I grudgingly see the value of Cormac Mccarthy stylistic choices but laaaaiiiikeee its hard and sometimes you need it to install a kind of half-breath in your prose - i think the middle ground I want to reach is the use of it as a luxury and not like pepper (literally searched the last chapter for my semicolon usage and its 28 like 3 per thousand words :( help)

- literally never make me read the word cishet in a serious work of writing ever. “Dysphoria” no “trans” its 50/50 “genderfuck” get out of town no “intersectional feminist” no. Okay lol this point is just me being not liking any explicit integration of the present cultural-political terminology into writing and also me being a bit bitchy about this one lgbt cult novel named after a US state if you can guess which. My view is it will always be gauche and i dont like it and it tends to prompt me to say out loud to myself My God I hate gay people

More later if i think of it but i swear ive yet to meet the writing pointer from a true sage that is gonna transform my thinking and make what im capable of transcendental

[professorspork]

Any chance you'd actually want to do a breakdown of the writing and literary techniques you used in Newsbees? Any excerpt of your choice honestly, I'm always curious about how other writers think about their own work

A) I just want to say that what truly delights me is that this hit my inbox last night, a full 12 hours before the epilogue was posted (and contained within it a request for asks just like this). Way to read my mind! It made me happy!

B) Oh gosh this is so broad WHAT SHOULD I TALK ABOUT

okay after much dithering, using an online dice-rolling tool to pick a chapter to talk about and then being like 'this tool didn't pick the right chapter' I am going to talk about chapter 12, aka the romance novel bed-sharing one right before everything goes to shit.

Before we begin, you'll note that I still insist on calling a wolf at your door chapter 12 even though on AO3 it's chapter 13. I get why for coding reasons AO3 probably can't support calling a prologue "chapter zero" because something like 0/21+ is not a helpful chapter count in the same way 1/23 is but still the discrepancy chafes and I'm glad people have mostly indulged me on this point.

ANYWAY

Firstly, I'll point out that the chapter bears all of the usual hallmarks of what I know defines my prose and which I lean into with some degree of purpose. To pick a portion from the section on Blake's panic attack as an example:

She sinks shakily to the tile and curls into a ball to cry. After hours of gripping onto what remained of her sense with white-knuckled desperation, forcing herself to at least dissociate long enough to find a place to get out of the storm, she can’t fight it any more. Every single emotion she’s been barely keeping at bay—the powerlessness, the fear, the self-hatred, the sorrow—crashes through her all at once, bulldozing the fragile internal structures she’d relied upon to stay upright until there’s nothing inside her but splinters and wreckage.

It’s over. It’s over.

Gods, why won’t she fucking stop crying?

She bites down on her fist—anything to quiet the violent, hiccuping sobs that are wracking her lungs and depriving her of much-needed air—but it’s no use. You’ll wake everyone up, shut up, shut up, you stupid, sloppy bitch shut up.

Inane. Infantile.

Pathetic.

She has no idea how long she stays there, blubbering on the shower floor like a toddler. Time stretches like taffy, malleable and meaningless. She weeps until she’s empty; until even the derogatory, incisive shame is gone and only her hollow husk is left. And then…

…ever so slowly…

…cognizance creeps back in.

Apparently, she’s shivering.

The air in Yang’s apartment, which had felt near-stifling upon Blake’s arrival, is now crisp and biting against her clammy skin.

Gee, can you tell I like alliteration? In just this singular 226-word excerpt, there are eight uses of it (sinks/shakily; stupid/sloppy; inane/infantile; time/taffy; malleable/meaningless; hollow/husk; cognizance/creeps; crisp/clammy)-- and that number goes up, even, if you count incidental usage like 'with white-knuckled' or 'been barely.'

As I've matured as a writer I've shied away from prose that's florid just for prettiness' sake, but I do still indulge in this sort of... lyrical, tone-poem narration, especially in moments of great introspection or emotional import, as Blake's breakdown certainly is. All my writing-- not just dialogue-- is something I both hear and listen for, and the cadence and rhythm of the sentences is something I will tweak over and over and over again throughout the editing process until I'm satisfied with its flows and eddies. This is why I'll often use entirely unnecessary em-dashes to indicate breaths and pauses; to me, that sort of mouthfeel of the phrasing is just as important as the vocabulary is. Alliteration is a great way to get at that sort of smooth, elevated and heightened affect without being too conspicuous; my hope is that no one actually noticed "jesus christ there are eight alliterative pairs in this one half-page's worth of writing" until I pointed it out. It's... a flavor, a seasoning, that provides a bit of lift.

This excerpt also provides a few examples of another favorite thing of mine, which is pairing TWO adjectives for specificity's sake (and that sort of breathing meter). Blake's sobs could have been violent or hiccuping instead of both, but using both gives their brutality and physical embodiment emphasis; time being both malleable and meaningless shows two different facets of the sort of warping she's experiencing; her shame being both derogatory and incisive gets at how it hits both emotionally/verbally and internally/physically. (That's twice there I've said how I want the words to feel physical, to put you in Blake's shoes, and that's also very much a hallmark of my writing and this work specifically. There's a reason Blake throws up or nearly throws up so many times in this story, including in this chapter. I wanted her anxiety to feel LIVED IN, this toxic thing that her body literally has to reject and expel any way it can.)

The last thing this excerpt has that I want to remark upon is an incredibly considered simile-- how Blake's panic attack "crashes through her all at once, bulldozing the fragile internal structures she’d relied upon to stay upright until there’s nothing inside her but splinters and wreckage." I think it's always a worthwhile project to come up with metaphors that haven't been used a thousand times, because readers deserve novelty and forethought, but I really considered how I wanted to portray her feelings here. In other chapters, I compare Blake's panic/trauma to a treacherous ocean filled with dangerous creatures, or to a runaway train; Yang, of course, gets her big moment where she feels like a volcano. All of these things are scary and unpleasant, but they are so in radically different ways. Whereas the ocean metaphor is sort of all about depth and playing the long game, getting dragged under and the process of erosion, I wanted this one to be sudden and impactful. The first thing I came up with was a tornado, but that a) felt a little tired to me and b) still came from the natural world, which didn't feel quite right. The sort of manmade, architectural language I ended up going with reinforced far better the point I was making: that Blake built and constructed her sense of calm purposefully, and it was now being torn down by someone else's violent efforts.

PHEW okay I think that's enough talking about that one small section.

Overall, the chapter also contains a lot of the sorts of tricks and modes I relied on throughout the fic-- playing around with time, explicitly referencing callbacks to earlier in the story, the Adam that lives in Blake's head. This chapter is also, of course, the debut of The Font, which was really fun for me. Blake falling asleep instantly in Yang's bed after two dozen chapters of how bad her insomnia is was a payoff that had been in the outline from the earliest stages. The Hug is both important in its own right but also a reference to yet another musical, Waitress ("I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight..."). Seeing as this is a Newsies adaptation, I wanted it to feel in many ways LIKE A MUSICAL-- to have those big, bold feelings-- but the one thing Newsies isn't is a romance, and I found myself thinking often of love songs from other shows to sort of fill in those gaps. That could honestly be its own post so I won't get into it more now, lol.

OKAY MY GOODNESS THIS IS GETTING LONG I'M GONNA CUT IT OFF THERE. But I hope that was interesting for folks, and if so PLEASE ASK ME MORE QUESTIONS I LOVE QUESTIONS.

[plopspoodle]

10 Book Recommendations

Hey! A very common thing in this motivation/positivity community is to encourage reading, however sometimes you may not know where to start. Perhaps you loved reading when you were younger but haven't read in a while; perhaps you only ever read books when you had to for book reports/school; perhaps you read all the time and want some recommendations! No matter what the scenario, here's what I have read and why people may also like these books.

Lil disclaimer before you go through my recommendations, some of these will be familiar to you if you have done English GCSE and A-Levels in the UK! My favourite genres are dystopian and southern gothic however there are other genres in here that I like reading. Each book will have a trigger warning as all of them have sensitive topics. Please read with caution.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: abuse, suicide, alcohol consumption, car accident 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 15/16+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Tradegy/Modernism/Roaring 20's 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: The Great Gatsby, Third novel by American author F. Scott Fitzgerald, published in 1925. Set in Jazz Age New York, it tells the tragic story of Jay Gatsby, a self-made millionaire, and his pursuit of Daisy Buchanan, a wealthy young woman whom he loved in his youth, narrated by Nick Carraway. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 9/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: I read this in my English Language/Literature A-Level at 17 (got an A, well done me), and I fell in love. Gatsby is often hailed as a masterpiece of the 20th century and I completely agree, and I recommend it to anyone regardless of their preferred genres. Only reason it's not a 10 is because occasionally the characters don't make sense, but I don't necessarily mean that at the fault of Fitzgerald. Just be warned, you won't like the characters (at least by the end of the book).

1984 by George Orwell

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: gaslighting, sexually explicit scenes, torture, limited human rights, authoritarian regime 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 16+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Dystopian/Science Fiction/Political 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: 1984 is the story of a man questioning the system that keeps his futuristic but dystopian society afloat and the chaos that quickly ensues once he gives in to his natural curiosity and desire to be free. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 10/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: This was the second book I ever read on my own. Granted, I read it at 13 (under the age I recommend), but that was more because I had a thing for reading "banned books", so only read it if you can cope with mature themes. It's very well written, as is anything by Orwell, and it holds true and very threatening warnings of what our future holds. Sadly, like A Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood, it was written with the intention of things being possible but not imminent. Now? It isn't as far from fiction as one would hope.

Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: (so many) attempted murder, child abuse, death, incest, poisoning, rape, religion, sexually explicit scene (one), starvation, neglect 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 17/18+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Horror/Southern Gothic 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: Blond, beautiful, innocent, and struggling to stay alive... They were a perfect family, golden and carefree—until a heart-breaking tragedy shattered their happiness. Now, for the sake of an inheritance that will ensure their future, the children must be hidden away out of sight, as if they never existed. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 7.5/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: This is a very hard book to read. I do not recommend reading this if you are under 18 or are not in a good state of mind. As you can see, there are a LOT of trigger warnings. I also think it's important to know that whilst these topics are in the book, it does not glamorise them. If you are the type of person that thinks Vladimir Nabokov is a p*do because of writing Lolita, you will not understand this book. It tackles a very complex subject and overall has a message that if something is "bad" you should not encourage it but you should not also shield it: you should explain it to the person/people at risk so they understand. That is the most important thing about the book. It WILL make you feel uncomfortable. If you can't handle that, do not read the book (harshness is needed). My rating is 7.5 because the final chapter (epilogue) is awful and feels it's written by another writer, and it really slogs through at various points (with reason, but it just makes it that bit harder to read).

The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: ableism & ableist language, alcohol consumption, body horror, death, murder 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 13+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Gothic Horror 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: Dr Jekyll is a kind, well-respected and intelligent scientist who meddles with the darker side of science, as he wants to bring out his 'second' nature. He does this through transforming himself into Mr Hyde - his evil alter ego who doesn't repent or accept responsibility for his evil crimes and ways. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 7/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: I attempted to read this when I was 11 but gave up because the language is very difficult to understand sometimes. It was written in 1886 and uses a lot of old/Victorian English, so I was only really able to re-read it at 14 for my GCSE. Being able to analyse the language actually made it easier to read, so if you want to read this I do advise you to take your time and to be prepared to make notes. Overall it is a good story and a good book, but there are parts that feel disjointed and, other than the main characters of Jekyll and Hyde, I don't find it that memorable. I remember it was good, but I don't completely remember why.

Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: racism & racial slurs, homophobia, suicide, alcohol consumption, recreational drug use (smoking), emesis (being sick), gun violence, depression/life uncertainty 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 14+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Bildungsroman, coming of age 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: The novel details two days in the life of 16-year-old Holden Caulfield after he has been expelled from prep school. Confused and disillusioned, Holden searches for truth and rails against the “phoniness” of the adult world. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 10/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: Catcher in the Rye is a very good yet odd book. I found when I read it (for the first time), it was kind of boring. And yet, I kept reading. There's something about the way Holden narrates that feels relevant to you but you can't pinpoint what it is. Even though I've put the age rating of 14+, the ideal age to read this book is between 14-21, essentially any young age when you are being faced with new, adult choices. The book is also pretty timeless: yes, some of the language is outdated along with some attitudes, but overall you could imagine this at any point in time (1920's, 1960's, now) and it would still work. That is a very incredible feat for a writer. And I haven't even talked about the artistry in this book! I am a bit of a h*e for symbolism, and all I have to say about the symbolism in Catcher in the Rye is this: the ducks. Remember the ducks. :)

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: racism, blood & gore, death, plane crash, animal death, tribalism (due to survival), child abuse (by other children) 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 13+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Survival Horror, Psychological Thriller 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: When a group of schoolboys are stranded on a desert island, what could go wrong? A plane crashes on a desert island. The only survivors are a group of schoolboys. By day, they discover fantastic wildlife and dazzling beaches, learning to survive; at night, they are haunted by nightmares of a primitive beast. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 8/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: This is, once again, a book I read at school. I think I read this at 13, though it is often pushed as a book to read once you're able to read bigger words - child advice, don't do that. Being able to read words doesn't mean you can or should understand them. Whilst the book features children as the characters, it's not really for children, and is much more aimed at adults and the theme of innocence. It is a good book, but unfortunately I can't give much reason why as I haven't read it since the last time.

A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: strong physical and sexual violence, rape, domestic abuse, alcoholism, mental health issues (psychosis, hallucinations, compulsive lying, primarily Schizo-affected symptoms) 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 16+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Southern Gothic, Play 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: Fading southern belle Blanche DuBois is adrift in the modern world. When she arrives to stay with her sister Stella in a crowded, boisterous corner of New Orleans, her delusions of grandeur bring her into conflict with Stella's crude, brutish husband Stanley Kowalski. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 7.5/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: To start with, I don't really like reading plays, and I had to read this for A-Level. That being said, it is very well written. I usually have more of a problem of the people who read/watch's reaction rather than the play itself. It is meant to be a very tragic tale of what happens to those who are mentally ill and don't get support, but instead people very often label the main character as "crazy" (as an insult) and "a bad person" whilst labelling the man in the gif underneath as "misunderstood" and "hot". Abuse is obviously a very difficult subject, and Tennessee Williams deliberately chose Marlon Brando to portray the character he does in order to show how people take advantage of their natural assets to take advantage of others. Like with Flowers in the Attic, if you are someone who only likes reading the surface and not in between the lines, I do not recommend this. If you are, like me, someone who loves symbolism, this is the story for you!

An Inspector Calls by J. B. Priestley

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: suicide, upper class priveledge, alcohol, gaslighting 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 14+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Modern Morality Play, Drama 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: The action of the play occurs in an English industrial city, where a young girl commits suicide and an eminently respectable British family is subject to a routine inquiry in connection with the death. An inspector calls to interrogate the family, and during the course of his questioning, all members of the group are implicated lightly or deeply in the girl's undoing. The family, closely knit and friendly at the beginning of the evening, is shown up as selfish, self-centered or cowardly, its good humor turning to acid, and good fellowship to dislike, before the evening is over. The surprising revelation, however, is in the inspector… 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 6/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: I don't personally like this play a whole deal, mainly as it is (again) a play and something I had to read at GCSE. That being said, it is quite fun. I've put the age range as 14+ because while the trigger warnings aren't as strong as previous entries, a decent knowledge on the time period and context is needed in order to understand this properly. I personally dislike the ending, and I think the tone is quite inconsistent, but I still think it's a good play, and a very good introduction to plays if you are wanting to read more.

Animal Farm by George Orwell

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: animal abuse, murder, death, suicide, violence, authoritarian regime, communism 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 13/14+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Dystopian Political Satire 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: When the downtrodden animals of Manor Farm overthrow their master, Mr Jones, and take over the farm themselves, they imagine it is the beginning of a life of freedom and equality. But gradually a cunning, ruthless elite among them, masterminded by the pigs Napoleon and Snowball, starts to take control. Soon the other animals discover that they are not all as equal as they thought, and find themselves hopelessly ensnared as one form of tyranny is replaced with another. Orwell's chilling 'fairy story' is a timeless and devastating satire of idealism betrayed by power and corruption. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 9/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: This is the first book I ever read on my own! As you can probably tell from this being the second book by George Orwell on this list, I love his writing. He had such skill for these dystopian topics and the phrase "all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others" will forever be etched in my brain. Whilst I hail it so highly, I haven't put a 10 merely because of the ending. It reminds you that it is a political satire so I understand, I just wish it went a bit differently.

Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck

𓆩♡𓆪 TW: ableism, misogyny, alcohol consumption, recreational drug use (smoking), murder, gun violence, animal death, the Great Depression (economic hard times) 𓆩♡𓆪 Age Range: 13+ 𓆩♡𓆪 Genre: Social Realism, Tragedy 𓆩♡𓆪 Summary: An unlikely pair, George and Lennie, two migrant workers in California during the Great Depression, grasp for their American Dream. They hustle work when they can, living a hand-to-mouth existence. For George and Lennie have a plan: to own an acre of land and a shack they can call their own. 𓆩♡𓆪 Personal Rating: 8/10 𓆩♡𓆪 Notes: Good book, had to read it in Year 9 for school. Pretty sure it's one of those books where the teacher reads out the n-word because it's "educational", but disregarding that it is a good read and a very important view into the lives of those during the Great Depression and how people with disabilities go through life.

And that's all my recommendations for now!

I may have more in the future as these aren't the only books I've read, but I think they're a good introductory look into what I like and what I hope others would like. Also, though I don't always seem like it, I don't really have a problem with readers who don't like reading deeply in between the lines. It's absolutely fine if you want to just read it as you go, I just personally am naturally analytical. However, I would recommend that if you are one of those people, please listen to those who talk about the deeper themes of what you're reading. A lot of books and authors are misunderstood by those who want to believe life is black and white; good and bad. Life is complex, and so are stories. The beauty is finding your favourite shade of grey. As long as it's not 50 shades. That I don't know if I can condone.

[e-wills-afterhours]

Hi there! How are you?

I'm so sorry to be bothering you with this, but I just really, really need to know what happens in Vetrnaetr. Do you plan on writing more? If not, would you just tell us how the story ends? Do things between Hiccup and Astrid get better? Do they forgive eachother and try to get the relationship right?

Your story is just too good, makes me wonder about it all the time. Thank you for writing such wonderful stories ❤️

Hey friend!

You are not bothering me! I do plan on finishing it, but writing anything at all is a bit difficult for me to manage right now--a multichapter longfic is peak difficulty. I haven't worked on the next chapter in ages (all I recall is it starts with Astrid regretting the letter she wrote and stressing over whether she just killed her relationship), so I would have to find the time to re-read what I've published of Vetrnaetr so far, for the sake of continuity, before I could get back into chipping away at it. My personal life is not allowing for such a blessing of free time at the moment. I can't even give you an estimate of when that will get better. Nothing bad is going on; quite the contrary, my cup runneth over.

Additionally, my creative focus is changing. While I wouldn't say I've completely lost interest in Hiccstrid or HTTYD, I've found myself gravitating more and more towards original work that I haven't posted here, simply because there's not really a want for it. I don't think anyone really cares that much about my worldbuilding and novel plotting that will probably never result in anything anyway but it's nice to have dreams.

I won't give you all the nitty gritty details below the cut, because I might actually finish Vetrnaetr one day, but I will provide some vague and general spoilers below in case that never happens. For your peace of mind friend.

Spoilers:

Hiccup returns from Helgafell but since the Vetrnaetr festival is kicking off, he and Astrid do not have much of an opportunity to talk and reconcile; Astrid can tell Hiccup is distant and she is afraid that their breakup is inevitable. She also laments all the implications of a breakup after everything they've been through privately and publicly.

Stefnir takes more opportunities to be a smug asshole, because of course he does.

Hiccup struggles with expectations of change and personal growth from both his father and Astrid; reflects on what that growth and change looks like and what it would mean for him, personally.

Festival is a blast. Astrid realizes she's been a bit of a demanding asshole toward Hiccup and should have been more understanding and tactful in her approach instead of giving him ultimatums to become someone he fundamentally isn't. Damn Ruffnut was right. Astrid gets drunk.

Hiccup realizes he does have a lot of growth left, and not just for others' sake, but his own too. He realizes Astrid had some valid points and if staying in a perpetual adolescent mindset means he loses her, then he doesn't want it. He understands, unintentionally, he has been a bit self-absorbed and selfish.

Hiccup confides this to Gobber who gives some sage advice about growing up in all facets of life, but no more than is absolutely necessary to preserve joy.

First night of festival winds down in the wee hours of the morning. Astrid is passed out now. Hiccup and Toothless get her home. Shenanigans occur because, in a village of drunk Vikings, of course they do.

Astrid wakes up hungover with no recollection of how she got home in bed, but notices whoever got her home took great care to make sure she was comfortable.

Hiccup comes to check on her. They finally get to talk after some self-reflection the night before. They both admit their wrongs and acknowledges where the other person was right, but also refine their personal boundaries and expectation. Yay for healthy reconciliation and open and honest communication. Commitment to one another renewed.

Fic ends with emotional and very physical expressions of love.

[usagimen]

                           @grievice:  (@grievice, from Amon) a kiss to your lover’s stomach as you travel down their body .

       Within the confines of her memory, she could recall another life, where slender hands grasped onto a silver dress && the entirety of her shoulders trembled. She spoke quiet, precise, mechanical even when describing details of certain ghouls, those that needed to be gone quickly in order to maintain the sanctity of the ward. The public would have found it amusing, betrayal was common amongst kin when their appetite became too much, all consuming that it threatened everything within its wake. Was that the purpose of Anteiku’s demise? She could not fathom it. Days spent with her head pounding constantly, gentle chides from the friendly staff; human liquor will destroy your stomach. Quaint paperback books, poetry, romantic novels that were spun sugar to be consumed && readily eaten. Expensive heels && white knee socks, chiffon skirts with a soft bounce, black shiny hair neatly cut - short, slicked back, sharp features that allured patrons while scaring them in one instance. She never terrified him for some reason, even when she wished it was possible, co-existing was an impossibility. Always virtuous, thinking nothing of the case even when her heart would lurch && she wanted to utter, life would be better spent in this blissful dream with me than anywhere else.

          Nothing was hers to own, selfish desires were a luxury, endless days she spent drifting pursuing tragedy for comedic sake, though blatant nihilism felt cowardice in her eyes. Investigator, it rolls from her tongue molten vanilla && caramel, teeth rotting sweet,  slow, Koutarou, she utters his name in sadness && tears swell. The void, abyssal && ravenous, the cavern in her chest where her heart beats, shouldn’t it be gone by now? It never occurred even when the skin was lacerated && pain radiated through her small form. He should be furious with her, angry, every vile word should be uttered - a coward, she’s always been too frightened of the world around her. Proud, arrogant, how could she display such a persona when the truth was far more meager? Instead, there are gentle touches that trace against her sides, her petite silhouette that contorts underneath his grasp.

          Diamonds embedded into skin, pink that sweeps across each cheek, he’s gentle - as if she might break. It’s difficult to admit she felt terror, in truth, she was nothing more than the typical fiend who cried softly; why is my existence to be shunned? Why must I be culled merely for living? Does that not make man a monster as well? Alice, it was safer to escape into Neverland where no one could find her. “This is dangerous…” she utters softly, laughter lines between each syllable that she utters, feather light && airy. Inky tendrils sprawl behind her, a curtain of black, her hue has lost the peach like flush, though it remains the same - brilliant gems for a gaze sharper than steel. Marshmallows && ginger, metal that lingers on the tongue drank in handfuls, like honey she could become drunk on, intoxication that came easily when her amusement ran high && affection overflowed. A home that was sparse in possessions, Alice never existed to begin with, she was nothing but a figment of the personification of what one yearned for. A lover no one had to love, the ethereal being in cherub divinity, the air for which she steals between lungs - she wasn’t real.

       Except in his grasp, she was visible, coy && with a naughty grin, melancholy when she spoke of the past or her own peculiar desires, timid && shy when upon her tiptoes wishing to kiss him once more. His lips move increasingly lower as she squirms underneath, fingers that sprawl across her effigy, hiding away the toothy grin that forms. “It tickles, you’re too mean” vaguely whined, encouraging as her breathing becomes shallow, a slender arm that reaches to entangle him closer. Stay with me, the beauteous creature wished to say, no case is worth your life, no case is worth saying goodbye, would it have changed anything? Wine stained lips that press against his forehead, her grasp becoming tighter, uttering softly. “Koutarou, you still tease me after all this time, it’s unfair to scold me when you’re just as terrible” she adored him for it. In this wretched existence of good && evil, there were times she did not understand the difference or notion, Amon inspired none. The despair she clung to like a vice seemed to dissipate when he spoke, those quiet days in a lazy ward, where champagne flowed freely && she laughed like a goddess; none if it mattered, when the fire burnt within him, all she knew was hope.   

[vegasgreys]

Mystic destinies serendipity of aeons tatsuya walkthrough

#MYSTIC DESTINIES SERENDIPITY OF AEONS TATSUYA WALKTHROUGH FULL#

#MYSTIC DESTINIES SERENDIPITY OF AEONS TATSUYA WALKTHROUGH CRACK#

Through some minor hijinks, the broody captain of the knights, Anton, decides to come along for the ride and keep the princess safe. She concocts a plan to leave the castle and hop onto the nearest ship to her shock, her personal knight and childhood friend actually agrees and insists on coming with her to keep her safe. Since he won’t listen to any reason, she decides she’s got to run away and go on a mini adventure. She wants to travel the world and see the sights but Pops won’t let her set foot outside the kingdom. Our protagonist is princess Ciel – somewhat, as her dad’s more like a governor – who’s suffering from good, old-fashioned Rebellious Princess Syndrome. It certainly delivers the funny but left me underwhelmed everywhere else. It promised to be a heartwarming, straightforward story, loaded with comedy and gratuitous puns.

#MYSTIC DESTINIES SERENDIPITY OF AEONS TATSUYA WALKTHROUGH CRACK#

It’s got the fingerprints of someone’s first crack at a visual novel, meaning the worst should hopefully be over. This is the approach I took with today’s game, Magical Otoge Ciel. In short, I don’t speak from a place of being better I speak from the experience of similar mistakes. So, I’ve always tried to approach every game I play with a critical eye, not for the sake of finding problems but for the sake of helping my fellow amateur content creators. No, the tricky part comes from something that’s about so-so, and it was clear the author was trying.īut, at the end of the day, I feel very strongly that the worst thing you can do to an artist is stay silent when they need to work on a skill. When that happens, it’s fun venting exorcise to rip in and tear it a new one. If you decide to donate any extra, it will go directly to making that dream a reality.Any reviewer will tell you that it isn’t hard to write a review of bad material. We're hoping to kick off a successful business in order to make visual novels of all genres and worked without pay the entire route to achieve that dream. Star Maiden Games is a small start-up indie visual novel team consisting of three women at it's creative core in 2015. So if you're ready to embark on a beautiful journey of self-acceptance, love and magic then press that purchase button and play until you cry." "Playing Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons will give you warm fuzzy feelings but it will also make you feel some angst as not everything is sunshine and roses. I recommend this game highly to all the otome lovers out there." I can't wait to read the other guys' routes. "All in all, it was a very great reading experience and I have to say that I have shed some tears towards the end. I think a lot of people will enjoy the characters, the art, and the music! I'm excitedly looking forward to the next route!" It's not without a few problems, but overall it's a well polished game and a great first release for Star Maiden Games.

Over six hours of content, with additional content on the way!.

Enjoy atmospheric high quality music, hand-picked for every scene.

Learn about a world with deep lore and it's own unique universe.

Read a completely different story with each route!.

Two "bad endings" mean your choices have more of an impact!.

#MYSTIC DESTINIES SERENDIPITY OF AEONS TATSUYA WALKTHROUGH FULL#

Three full length canon endings per character - depending on your choices.Experience a different kind of love story with a balance between dark and light themes, and a strong emphasis on fantasy and action.Forced to take sides even as she tries to control her unstable powers and emotions, Tsubasa is pulled into large scale business negotiations and the politics of the ancient Ryu clan.Ĭan you navigate a path wrought with mysteries and drama to find happiness? But she soon finds out that nothing is as it seems. That's Tsubasa's thinking when she chooses the ever-serious Tatsuya. ★ Tatsuya's Story ★ If you're in trouble, choosing a reliable partner is the most logical choice, right? Play as twenty year-old university student Tsubasa Fujimoto as she learns to balance her daily life with her new supernatural one - all while falling in love. This original English language visual novel tackles romance in an urban fantasy setting, with the aim of blending genres and deconstructing common tropes.Īfter a ritual forces immense magical powers onto you, you're thrown into a new world with new threats and challenges that you'd never dreamed of. This unlocks the second released main story route AND epilogue of Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons, focusing on the character Tatsuya Yukimura. Mystic Destinies: Serendipity of Aeons, the Kickstarter-funded original English language visual novel originally released on Steam comes to Itch.io!

[dduane]

I was reading through the 'writing' tag on your blog, and came across your wonderful post about how you outline your novels using Cherryh's 'Shopping List' technique. My question is - how do you decide/come up with the 10 things in the novel? I have about 3-4 things I know must happen in my idea, and other random details about the world. But what is important enough to be one of the 10 things? And also, how do you generate your ideas for those 10 things?

...Okay, let's take this from the top. (And for convenience's sake, let's stay in the shopping-list idiom; it's useful enough.) (ETA: the blog entry containing the description of the Shopping List outlining method is here.)

Let's say you want to make a cake. ...This cake also being your novel.

To have a solid story (in the western-novel tradition, anyway), you need at least two things: plot and theme. The plot is what happens. The theme is the why of what happens, and (to a certain extent) the spectrum of thought and emotion that underlies that; the answer to the question “But what’s the book about?”* ...Think of this duality, for the moment, as the equivalent of having both liquid and solid stuff in your cake. You’ve got to have both or it won’t rise. A book with a plot but no theme has no soul.

So: you’re going to make a cake. What kind?

As an example, I’m going to ease myself out onto a limb here and equate “chocolate-chip devil’s food with chocolate buttercream frosting” with “epic-fantasy quest fiction with strong political, exoreligious, and quasiromantic components.” (A favorite for me, over time, as some folks will have noticed. I just can’t get enough of those chocolate chips...)

So how do you determine the ten things you need (or whatever number you like, but ten works for me) as major ingredients / sections?

Well, ideally from some familiarity with what has gone in other/similar cakes/works of fiction in the past. If you haven’t been reading in your chosen genre, you should be. This doesn’t mean you have to do what other people working in the genre have done. (Indeed, at all times you remain at liberty to “flip the punchcard” and do exactly the opposite of what everybody else has been doing, if that’s what suits you.) But they’ve set out possible recipes for you, so (as a beginner at this work) examine those recipes and see what’s in them that might be useful for you. Once you’ve been doing this for a while, you don’t need to go looking, just as an experienced baker doesn’t need to run for the recipe book every time they want to make a cake.

Naturally you can substitute ingredients, add some or lose some, when you’re creating something new; just as you like—while always making sure you don’t throw away anything routinely required/expected in your genre. (Such as the Happily Ever After at the end of a genre romance.) But certain basics must be in place, things that make what you’re creating recognizably A Cake, as well as your own additions and embellishments.

In this case, that could be:

For a cake: flour, milk, eggs, butter, baking powder, cocoa, chocolate chips, vanilla extract, seasonings, a little bit of salt (because without that, even the sweetest cake tastes just a little insipid somehow)

For a novel: a protagonist/pairtagonist (is that a word? It is now...), an antagonist (not necessarily a character: an antagonistic or stymie-ing situation that keeps the antagonist from easily getting what they want/need will do just as well. This is where at least some of the interior drama will derive from), a change in interior conditions that sets events in motion, a “ticking clock” or similar construct that means the desired result must be achieved within a certain time or before certain conditions change or expire, various reversals or hiccups in the flow of the story that will inject a sense of realism (because when does anything ever go perfectly smoothly...?), a crisis point at which everything assembled against the protagonist rises up to be dealt with, and the protagonist rises up to meet the challenge and deal with it; and finally a set of resolution events that (even if it doesn’t absolutely finish the story proper) brings about an end state that will leave you, and any theoretical reader, satisfied with the completion of the current story arc.

...Needless to say, this is an incredibly oversimplified take on the kind of strategizing needed when you’re creating the recipe for a novel that won’t simply collapse the minute you take it out of the oven. But starting simple is often best. The more you do this kind of work, the easier it gets.

Now: “How do you generate your ideas for those 10 things?”

There are a lot of possible answers to this, but the simplest is: Make them up out of nothing, as usual. :)

...This isn’t meant to sound like sass. You made up those first three or four things you came up with out of nothing, and now (because they’ve been there for a while, probably) they may well have started to acquire a kind of secret, temporally-based superiority in your mind—starting to feel somehow more valid than what needs to come next to fill in the gaps. This kind of creeping sense of validity-via-temporal-primacy is a commonplace when you’re in mid-process, and I invite you to ignore it.

Just insert those three or four things into your shopping list in (roughly) story-temporal order, and then spend some time thinking about what kinds of events could usefully come between / flow from them. Hints:

Events that could realistically have been caused by the ones you’ve got already, and could also realistically be seen as causal to later ones you’ve already established, are always useful. Ideally, you’re trying to establish a chain of events in which none of them look accidental, or coincidental (because readers are rightfully sensitive to plots that only work because all the characters are idiots, or keep having “lucky accidents”). What you’re working toward is an event flow that seems, when viewed in completion, inevitable: as it if couldn’t have happened any other way. You will almost certainly not achieve this easily, early on in your novel work, and maybe not at all. But it’s what you should be striving for.

Events that badly screw things up for the main characters are also always useful. Heroes do not become heroes by having everything go their way. Their heroism is achieved and manifested by having things go to shit around them again and again and AGAIN, and nonetheless still finding their way through all that shit to do what needs to be done. The lines attributed to the Confucianist philosopher Meng-tse (sometimes written as “Moshi” in Japanese) are a touchstone in this regard:

When Heaven is about to confer a great office upon a man, it first exercises his mind with suffering and his sinews and bones with toil: it exposes him to poverty and confounds all his undertakings. Then it is seen if he is ready.

So put your protagonists through the wringer. This is the greatest service you can do them.

A variant on this theme: Spend a little time thinking, “What is the absolute worst thing that could happen to these characters in this story / in this world?” And when you’ve figured that out, stick it into one of those gaps as a Main Thing—ideally one between the story’s midpoint and its already-planned crisis, if you’ve got that in place—and then start thinking about how to best exploit it to show how terrific your characters can become if you kick them around a bit. (Addendum: you are allowed to have one Absolutely Terrific and Beautiful Thing happen to assist your characters in recovering from this awfulness. Because they deserve it; but also, all invented worlds [if you ask me] should have beautiful things in them—things to long for, things that make your reader wish they could live there. And that you find beautiful, and worth returning to. You are absolutely allowed to keep yourself entertained, and emotionally refreshed, while you’re creating.)

...Anyway, take your time about getting those gaps filled in. It may take a little while: laying down basic story structure is worth not rushing, if you can avoid it. Once you’ve got them all in place, the secondary lists will follow more easily.

HTH!

*This is a hilarious oversimplification, but my job at the moment is not (as the saying goes) to explain the workings of the entire universe while standing on one foot. :)