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keiskake · 1 year

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bird instincts (chapter nine - hawks)

takami keigo x quirkless f!reader (au chilhood friends // characters are aged up 21+)

warnings ~ swearing, petnames, hawks being aggressive + jealous, oral sex (f!receive and m!receive), fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, degrading names, trauma flashbacks, spoilers about hawks’ backstory from the anime

wordcount ~ 4.742k

summary ~ you and takami keigo grew up together in a shitty hut with terrible parents. he disappeared one day when you were 6, but he never left your mind. the heavens entwine your destinies together, but it’s not a smooth journey you soon figure out.

a/n ~ i honestly didn’t plan for this chapter to be so long, but it was so good as a whole that i couldn’t split it up. i’ve decided to focus on the series a little more, rather than try and upload drabbles everyday! thank you for reading, reblogs + likes are always appreciated.

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"that's real original hawks." you walked towards the handsome blond in a black suit and tie. it caught your attention, his crimson red earrings. you didn't know hawks had his ears pierced. fuck. it made him so attractive. hell, he was attractive full stop. the way his eyes were glued onto you, as if he had blurred everything else around him. tunnel vision. and the way his hand slipped to your waist, pulling you in so he could lower his lips onto your forehead. it made your legs quiver and your heart pulsate even faster than before.

"i'll come up with a better one that's up to your standard next time baby bird. but have i ever told you how beautiful you, and how lucky i am that this is all mine?" his thumb brushed against your cheek, sweeping away the hair that was covering it to lay down a quick peck. you couldn't hide it, your cheeks burned pink as he cooed complements in your ear.

"well...you're looking really handsome tonight, but you're always handsome! so i'm lucky too!" was that the best compliment you could think about? really? babbling a response in a panic.

"oh? you're spoiling me with such kind words tonight y/n, and so many of them." he smirked at your embarrassed and rosy face. his fingers trailed its way from your waist, to your hip, and into your soft hands. "lets go inside, gonna introduce you to my best friend, endeavour. and hey. don't be nervous, you look gorgeous."

you nodded, taking hold of his hand before making your way to the event hall. the path was outlined by a carpet that was almost the same colour as your dress, and bordering the carpet were golden posts that acted as a barrier between the heroes and the media. it was all so grand. cameras and lights flashing, hero names being hollered and an endless wave of cheer around you.

is this how heroes made people feel? excitement, joy, vigour. no wonder kei admired them so much.

as you reached the door to the event hall, hawks pulled his hand away and positioned it so that his hand was on his chest and a gap formed between his arm. you put your arm through his, pressing your chest against his upper arm. an exchange of smiles went between the two of you and before you walked into the hall arm in arm. it was time for the event of the year to begin.

the moment you stepped into the room you were completely drowned in the awe of memorization. your jaw fucking dropped to the floor. the hall wasn't only big, it was gigantic, enormous even. lights beamed across the entire room, not a single dark spot to seen. thousands of tables with a million different dishes and drinks were scattered as far as you could see. and right at the front a stage, where hawks would be later tonight.

"woah." it was the only thing that could escape your lips. it was so amazing and majestic, like straight out of a movie.

"guess it's not everyday you get to experience something like this, i must say they really went all out. spared no expenses." he watched your face as it illuminated with shock and elation. your face was priceless.

"this is so incredible hawks. can we eat the food? oh! and i wanna try a drink. can we? can we really?" you tugged at his blazer, shaking the poor bird side to side.

"you can eat and drink the stuff on the table sweetheart. i'll come with you so that your nerves calm down, alright?" he giggled at your eagerness, petting the back of your head to hopefully calm you down and stop you from shaking him anymore.

"then what are we waiting for? i'm dying to try those giant chocolate covered strawberries." you beamed at him and then dragged him half way across the event hall to satisfy your sweet tooth.

not only were the strawberries in season but they were big and juicy, covered in a thick creamy chocolate shell. and they were never-ending. hawks watched as your face turned into an everlasting ray of smiles, and with each strawberry it grew. he kept close to you so that you had someone to talk to and, most importantly, to keep you safe. god were you beautiful. what he would do to see you this happy all the time.

approaching you was a big, bulky man. his shoulders broad and his face stern. you knew you had seen his face before, it was all too familiar. endeavour. he had the same face as the plushie in your bed. his hair was ruby red and his eyes turquoise blue. a plushie perfect match. he stood in front of you and hawks, his shoulders broad enough the cover the both of you. his eyes glanced past the bird man, fixing his gaze straight onto you.

"woah there buddy, if you stare at her too much she's gonna break down." he jokes, placing his hand on your lower back to ease your nerves. who wouldn't be nervous if a big rock of man started staring at you.

"good evening. who's the girl, hawks?" his arms stood straight by his side, his face stiff. you couldn't tell how he was feeling or what he was thinking, and that was the scariest thing about him.

"my girlfriend, you jealous endeavour?" hawks displayed a grin on his face, pulling you closer to him in order to 'show you off' some more.

"no. though i didn't picture you the type to settle down." he peered over at you once more, scanning you from head to toe. he might as well have been a metal detector.

"i'm y/n, it's nice to meet you. you're the number one hero endeavour, it's a real pleasure to meet you. i'm kinda a fan, well no my friend is the fan, but i still think you're really cool!"

"you're a fan of me too, right baby bird?" he pouted and squirmed as you spouted a bunch of rubbish to fill the awkward space endeavour had created.

"well, thank you for being a fan despite all the punches being thrown at my name currently. she'll keep you in check hawks, don't cause her trouble." he eyed hawks, the kind that your parents gave you when you were about to do something stupid.

"right, right, of course endeavour. why'd you come over? did you miss your buddy?" he nudges the flame hero, poking and prodding at him for a response.

"no i did not miss you, and you are not my 'buddy'. i came to collect you, it's time to go up there." the stoic man pushed hawks' arm away and turned his back on the two of you. he made his way through the crowds of people and tables before disappearing behind a curtained staircase.

"one day he'll admit that we're buddies." he chuckled, straightening his suit and tightening his tie. "but for now, i gotta fly y/n. i'll see you on stage." he cupped one of your cheeks and took you in for a kiss.

"you won't be able to see me silly, there's too many people here tonight."

"trust me y/n i could spot your drop dead gorgeous face a thousand miles away. wish me luck!" he rushed off to the curtained staircase, his wings fluttering slightly as he made his way to the grand stage.

in your heart you were wishing him luck, though really and truly he didn't need it. he'd be fine just the way he was. you couldn't stop thinking about the way his blazer clenched round his waist and the way his white button up shirt displayed the outline of his collar bone. and whatever bottle of cologne he was wearing tonight you were determined to buy a bottle for yourself. it drew you in like a bone to a dog.

you took hold of another strawberry before the lights shut down. excited murmurs spread from every corner of the hall and everyone laid eyes on the main stage. with a little squinting you could make out 10 silhouette figures were standing on the platform. hawks must been amongst the 10. you didn't want to miss a second, and clearly the media didn't want to either with their cameras and notepads out and ready.

head beam lights from below flashed, giving a better view to the 10 shapes. a flicker from the bulbs on the ceiling went off and the whole room was lit with an endless stream of radiant light. claps echoed from every corner of the room, chanting of the hero's names penetrated the air and glasses clinking together in unison. there stood heroes. the top 10 heroes.

amongst the line of heroes were names such as mirko the rabbit hero and wash the laundry hero. amongst the handful of talent japan had to offer was your beloved number two, hawks. he stood proudly with his chest out and wings perked up high behind him. he was facing your direction, even whilst he collected his award and gave his speech his eyes were on you. he really was like a hawk.

but what was he so fixated on? you. and the man next to you who was barely millimetres away from touching your shoulder with his. black long hair tied up in a bun, baggy eyes and a sharp jawline. eraser head. he'd really dressed for the occasion, and that worried hawks. as he spoke to you, laughter left your sweet and pretty lips. but your laugh was his to hear and only his. the thought of another man who could make you as happy as he did irked him deeply.

what lit the fuse to the bomb was when eraser head pulled you in by the waist to move you away from the waiter, that was about to trip and drop a hundred drinks in your direction. you apologised and gave eraser head a big dumb smile, the same kind you gave him during your date. he didn't know that he would feel so enraged witnessing another person touch you, talk to you or laugh with you. what was he so jealous of?

the presenter on stage dismissed the heroes to the event, taking back their awards so that they could be delivered to their hotel room directly. he didn't want to watch another second of it, jumping off the stage with his hands tucked into his pockets. he swerved his way through the mob of people, grumbling to himself and swearing under his breath.

you could smell the faintest scent of his cologne so you turned around, only to face a less than pleasant hawks. his brows were furrowed and his lips were straight, one fist clenched by his side and the other one still in his pocket. you felt your heart in your throat. did you do something wrong? was he angry? you looked to eraser head for some kind of reassurance or confirmation. boy did you set fire to dynamite.

"y/n we're going, now." he took hold of your arm, almost grabbing it.

"b-but why, the real event just started?" you flinched a little, shocked that hawks would behave so aggressively towards you. what the hell had gotten into him.

"we're going and that's final." he started dragging you to the nearest exit, not giving you enough time to pick up your dress so that it wouldn't drag across the floor too much.

"sorry eraser head! it was nice to ━" hawks tugged you closer to him, cutting you midway through your goodbye.

his grip on your arm was so tight you were certain that it would leave some kind of mark or bruise. you wanted him to slow down, you really wanted a break from all the speed walking, but you couldn't speak up. it was physically impossible for you. every time you planned to say something your throat would go hoarse and chicken out on you. no words would leave your mouth.

you were afraid of him in that moment, it reminded you of when your father had beaten you and kei for sneaking out to play one afternoon. you and kei wanted to cry out for help, cry out to express your pain. but no matter how hard you tried nothing came out, it always ended up in silence. you didn't want to put hawks in the same category as that disgusting and treacherous thing you called a 'father'.

hawks took you all the way to his hotel room, which was a penthouse suite with the best view in all of Kamino Yokohama. he tapped his key card on the reader before shoving the door out of the way and throwing you inside of the room. the door closed behind him, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top of his formal shirt. he made his way to you and your body trembled more and more the closer he got.

"what the hell was that all about hawks?! dragging me out of there with no explanation, i didn't even get to say goodbye to eraser head properly. and then you grab me and take me all the way here, look my arm has a red mark because of you!"

he looked at your arm and seemed to take a step back. you let it all out, all the words that were clogged up from before. you weren't going to stay silent this time, not anymore. what he did was wrong but hawks himself hadn't realised until you started shouting and bursting out on him.

"yeah what i did wasn’t exactly excusable and i'm sorry. but why is saying goodbye to eraser head so fucking important to you?"

"hawks are you hearing yourself?"

"why are you so caught up on him?! just focus on me, that's all that you need. or is it not enough?" he took your hand and placed it on his chest. his heart was pounding to fast and hard that you could feel it through his blazer.

jealousy. the room was plagued with his jealousy. was he afraid of losing you? maybe he was afraid of losing his place in your heart? you never thought hawks was the type to get jealous, sure it was human nature, but he was so confident in himself. on the surface that was.

his body was unsteady from the pent up anger he had hoarded whilst on stage. you knew what he was doing was out of order but somewhere in your heart you understood where he was coming from. the constant fear of the what if. what if you lose the one you hold dearest to your heart? what if you’re so easily replaceable you could be tossed to the side?

tears trickled down his cheek slowly and it infectious, water droplets forming in your eyes as well. it hurt to see him like this. you just wanted him to be his chirpy and cocky self again, you took that side of him for granted. but it was your job as his girlfriend to guide him through his moments of despair. no, not even a job. the bare minimum.

you moved your hand from his beating heart to his face, cupping it gently and lifting his head up to face you. two teary eyed lovers facing the abyss together. you pressed your forehead onto his and let out a little sigh. your big bird was still a baby at heart, and you were going to protect his precious heart.

"i will always need you hawks, there's nobody that could replace you. so please, don't let your fear get the better of you. it's okay to feel angry and jealous, it's human nature, but never forget that i care about you the most. i'm not going anywhere and you're not going to be replaced. you’re enough."

"y/n...i'm sorry, i was just so scared. i hated watching you and eraser head talk, and then when he touched you and you smiled at ━" you cut him off with a deep kiss. that's what he needed in that moment, a piece, a crumble of physical affirmation that you were his.

he was shocked, you never initiated the first move. it was different, like turning the page to a new chapter in your relationship and he wasn't complaining one bit. his hands drew itself to your waist, pushing you deeper into his lips. home. it felt like home to him. he didn't need all the fame or money that he had, hell he didn't even need to be a hero let alone number two. you were enough for him.

"i love you y/n, i'm so sorry for hurting you like that." his lips left yours and his head hung back down again. he took hold of your arm once again, but this time his touch was much more tender. "look at what i've done. i'm a monster. i don't fucking deserve you."

"i forgive you, bird brain. so don't grovelling about it, it's not very hero like y'know." your fingers ran through his golden locks and you laid your head on top of his.

"fuck hero life, i don't need it. why would i? i have you sweetheart and that's more than a bastard like me could ask for." you positioned yourself on his lap, throwing your arms around his neck.

"if you let out another negative comment i will never ever compliment you again, got it?"

"yes ma'am. sorry ma'am."he jumps and turns to look you in the eyes. you were deadly serious.

"i'm glad we're on the same page. i didn't get a chance to say it but congratulations on your award hawks!"

"thanks baby bird, first time anyone has really congratulated me with any sincerity at all." he played with your skirt and his free hand laid on top of your thigh.

"it won't be the last if i'm around! sorry about not having a gift, you got me the dress and a ride but i don't have a thing for you."

"looking at you in this gorgeous dress is more than enough, you have no idea what it does to me y/n."

you felt it. you felt your thigh rubbing against something hard that poked at your soft skin. you knew what it was, and the thought of it made you embarrassed. it wasn't as if you were innocent at all, absolutely not. you had your fair share of lewd thoughts about hawks. it couldn't be helped sometimes, when his pants were just a tad bit too tight you good get a clue or two about the outline of his cock. and you'd be a liar if you said you had never imagined him rubbing his length against your slit.

he looked at your face that was all red, only realising then what was making you behaving sheepishly. "shit y/n, sorry i didn't mean to really."

"it's okay...it's natural. your dick is really hard huh?" you bit your lower lip and unconsciously rubbing your thigh against him.

he picked you up from his lap and sat you on the bed properly, leaning in for a kiss. it was wet and messy, your tongues running around one another. his hand held you by the neck, pressing you deeper and deeper into his lips. your hand was over his clothed cock, teasing it as he pressed a finger against your cunt. "wet already?"

"nghh ━ don't wanna wait anymore, please fuck me daddy." and that's all you needed to do for hawks to make your fantasies a reality.

you turned to the side so that hawks could unzip your dress. it slipped right off you and he left it hanging over a chair. he couldn't take his eyes off your body, you weren't wearing a bra so your breasts were openly on display for him. your skin looked to delicate and soft, thighs and ass plush. perfect in everyway. he kissed his way down your figure. head, neck, chest, stomach, thigh. the slow pace was leaving you on the edge, your red thong soaked in your juices and drip.

your only bit of clothing was ripped off you, hawks' cooing in your ear "i'll buy you a new one princess." his fingers played with your wet fold, a thumb circling against your swollen clit and the two tips of his fingers teasing your hole. you bucked your hips urging hawks to finger you. a grin appeared on his face, "can’t wait? what a slut". the sound of your wet pussy being filled with two of his fingers echo the room. he curves his finger as he pushes in and out of you, reaching your g-spot. and every time he hit the deepest part you'd arch your back, mewling in pleasure and shamelessly moaning out his name. "ahh ━ hawks more, please! wanna cum please hawks!" fuck did your sweet voice make his dick twitch. he fingered you faster. too much for you to handle clearly, grabbing a hold of the bed sheets and letting out even more breathless cries of pleasure. his tongue lapped your cunt and his fingers kept spreading your walls apart, loosening you up for his cock. too much, it was too much for you. your mind was blank from all the enjoyment and the only thing you could think about was hawks playing with your whore of a cunt. he sucked on your clit, making sure to get a real good fucking taste of ‘his’ pussy. you whimpered, arching your back and cumming all over his fingers. hawks pulled his fingers out, spreading them apart to show you the long line of drip and how wet they were. he put his two digits in your mouth for you to taste before running his tongue from the bottom of your slit to the top. "god. you taste fuckin' sweet as candy baby bird."

your legs were trembling, they were weak. you had never had such an intense orgasm, nor did you have a clue that it could feel that good. "my turn." you took hold of hawks' hand, laying him against the headboard of the bed. you positioned yourself between his legs, his cock desperate to get out of his pants. he unbuttoned his blazer and shirt, and you unzipped his pants. your bare skin rubbing against one another made your heart race, a blush running across your cheeks. "take it slow sweetheart, no rush." you nod, taking his boxers off to reveal his red, bulge tip. he was bigger than you had ever imagined, your hand barely able to wrap around the base. you took a breath before pushing the head of his cock into your mouth, enfolding the tip in your wet tongue. hawks groaned and his hips jolted from the sensation your mouth was giving him, watching his pretty girl suck him off made him throb even more. as you moved your mouth up and down his length, you could feel it hit the very back of your throat. it was just so big it started to make you choke, and that was music to his ears. "gonna push it down so you take it all the way, pinch me if you need me to stop." groaning, he took a handful of your hair and shoved the rest of his cock into your mouth. your moans were muffled from the fullness of your mouth, tears running down your face, and your mouth became more and more sloppy and took hawks in. he tugged you off his twitching dick, his face flustered. "y/n lay down on the pillow, gonna put it in okay?"

he flipped you over so that you were the one laying down on the pillow. your legs were spread apart, levered on his broad shoulders. "wanna feel you inside daddy, pretty please." your needy pleas gave him the green light to pound you and drill the shape of his cock into your pussy. he lined it up with your entrance, slapping it on your cunt a few time. he prepped you so well that his entire cock was able to slip in easily. your wet walls wrapped around him tightly, almost milking him. he slammed his hips into you and you could feel his tip kissing your cervix, and he kept hammering your insides. your drenched pussy squelched at every thrust he rewarded your pretty little cunt. you were completely full from him, his dick fucking you dumb and senseless. he was turning you into his personal cock sleeve. you let him infiltrate your every senses, the only thing you could think about was him. "c-cum in me please daddy, give me every drop please!" your arms swung around his neck, trying to keep yourself upright since your legs were becoming weaker as he continued to shove himself into you. "my princess is so well mannered. of course i'll breed you pretty girl." his hand pulled your thigh in so he could reach even deeper, thrusting his cock as his thumb grazed against your cunt. he was giving you the fucking of a lifetime, pussy full and cunt overstimulated. "shit- gonna cum inside of you y/n. gonna fill you up so good."you could feel yourself reaching the limit, moaning, whimpering, digging your nails into hawks's back. his cock pouring every ounce of cum he could muster into your needy cunt. panting, he pulled out and watched the mix of his cum and yours slowly ooze out of you pussy. your insides were painted white.

"did so well sweetheart." hawks fell into your arms, resting his head on your chest.

"you too baby." you pressed a kissed on his head and ruffled his already messed up hair.

"is this the same y/n i know give ME a pet name? i could die happy." he looked at you with eager eyes waiting for an answer, with an underlying feeling of shock.

"well...we're in a relationship so i should start using pet names more often!" you didn't think it that big of a deal but to hawks it was like the world had just granted his every wish, his heart pounding next to yours.

"lets clean up and get some sleep, 'kay? i'll apologise to erase head tomorrow." he got up and headed to the bathroom.

you nodded and followed behind hawks, getting into the shower with him. you took turns washing each others hair and backs, hawks occasionally planting bubbles on your nose. the domestic moments you were having, like drying his hair and vice versa, made you feel like you were on cloud nine. butterflies erupted at the thought of you and hawks behaving like husband and wife.

the hotel had provided you and hawks with a pair of black silk pyjamas. they were so smooth to touchy and easy on the skin. the little pocket on your chest even had your name on it, hawks had the same but just with his name. well hero name. but the clothes were perfect fit. but how did they know you would be staying?

"hawks, why do i have a pair of pyjamas? i mean i'm not a hero nor was i a direct guest." he laid on the bed and you sat beside him, his hand petting your thigh.

"i asked them to get you a pair, pretty cool right."

"okay- but how did you know i would be staying, heck i didn't even know i was gonna stay the night." you poked his chest, your lips pouting.

"bird instinct." you started laughing, how unserious could he be. but it was nice, a change of mood.

"scoot over bird brains!"

he shuffled to the right side to make a little nest for you to lay on. hawks arm stretched out across the pillow, his hand prodding you to come over. you plopped your head on his arm and your face nuzzled in his chest. the light switched off, the blanket wrapped round you and so did hawks. you didn't need city lights to call something home anymore. it was right Infront of you, practically thrown over your entire being.

"goodnight y/n, sweet dreams." he lifted your chin, placing a gentle kiss on your lips, and then your nose, and finally your head.

"goodnight hawks. thank you for being my home.”

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n #hawks series #hawks smut #mha smut #bnha smut

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 1 year

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hi :)

i've seen people mentioning Till's entourage as smth bad, as in, they're not good for him, bad people, etc.

do you know anything about this? have an opinion?

Hi!

Well, i'm (as you probably know) no expert on Till's people, but what i *know* is that he has been working with several people for a good while now, i would say at least 5 years or more, like:

Danny Uhlman: started as security/bodyguard, personal assistant, and most recently i think also the one who runs the Till merch brand TL.Berlin, alsoa keen photographer and maker of many of the photographs on Till_Lindemann_Official IG

Anar Reiband: i usually see him mentioned as 'manager', in the 2023 Rammstein tour he was on the credits as Till's personal assistant

Alena Makeeva: Casting Director (i think that's what she has as title on her IG), also often thanked by ladies on IG going to After parties, so maybe also a bit of 'party organizer.

Joe Letz: in 2023 (maybe since American leg of 2022 tour) personal assistant, and ofcourse also drummer and 🤡 (i swear that's what he has on his ig) at Till's 'Till Lindemann' band

Well, if Till wouldn'tbe happy with them, i'm sure he would have dismissed them (or casually moved them to the background or something) 🌺

That said, ofcourse i still have an opinion 😊 but that's just m.o. so please take it as such:

I feel that Till's entourage are, probably not surprisingly as he is their boss, very indulgent to him, and also encourage some habits that i don't think are that beneficial to Till's wellbeing. I think Till likes to seek the extremes in his art (and possibly in life) and imo Rammstein has the perfect quality control to balance that and to stop at the exact right point. Till's entourage imo encourages all his extremes.

Like when Till decided to drip blood on his pages of poetry to make it less boring (i won't link the article, but have it in another post): there is a video of his team standing around, laughing broadly while handing him the pages after Till has cut a gash in his hand for that purpose.

Till seems a very gentle and easy-going guy himself, but i think it was his manager who got in a fistfight and Till had to break them up (ofcourse in the news as 'Till Lindemann in fight'). From what i've read, although i don't have sourcesat hand, Anar Reiband has some other shady dealings over the years, which makes me 'on guard' about him.

Although i don't have a problem (at all) with after parties, not even with sex after afterparties, but i do have a problem with the way the Row0 ladies are 'casted' up front, ticket even gets payed on occassion. If i had a say (which ofcourse i don't), i would pick after party guests at the concert itself, from fans who have a great vibe on the day, and not just ladies in acertain age-range, but fans of all ages and genders.

I think Till's various merch endeavours, like the MFT's (especially the 100000 euro dinner combo), crypto, and several others are...well...not my thing. I don't have a problem with for instance the Dr Dick jewelry or the Tilldo, because that seems very much in keeping with what I imagine Till would enjoy, but that other stuff...hmm..

And lastly, and most importantly, i have a feeling that over the last couple of years Till has drifted away from Rammstein more and more, and as i'm in it really for the six-men-marriage, i think that's too bad. If i see how little for instance his IG account in 2022 and 2023 has posted about Rammstein, and if something was posted, it's just Till himself, and in such a stylized way, that you almost can't tell it's at a Rammstein show. It is almost as if his IG team doesn't care about Rammstein at all (in 2022 it was especially poignant because so much of Till's merch was posted). Some think this is because Danny Uhlman didn't go to all Rammstein shows and the IG account posts only photos by him, but imo that's silly, because they have photos by others on there too, *and* the other Rammguys like Schneider, Paul, Richard always use photos by some of the by Rammstein hired photographers, so if Till and his team really wanted, they would use those too. Not posting means not caring about it (again, imo)

.... and in Schneider's IG post a few months ago, the 'Till creating his own bubble' was confirmed 🌺

---

so that's how i see it..🌺

#till's entourage #my 2 cts

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jungkxook · 4 years

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—make it right. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: punk!jungkook / band au / exes-to-lovers au / angst / smut

⟶ words: 11,528

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ summary: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because it’s been almost a year since you broke up with him. worst part of it all is that you know he’s still in love with you too

⟶ warnings: jungkook has a tongue piercing, oral sex because of said tongue piercing (fem!recieving), more tattooed and long haired jungkook to feed my fantasies, angsty pining clingy sex, also just general soft sex, crying sex lol, riding, creampie, slight praise kink themes, unprotected sex

⟶ disclaimer: here’s my one year blog anniversary present inspired by the first ever fic i posted on here! yes this is technically a sequel to melomaniac but not really. sort of like an alternate universe to the alternate universe but you don’t really have to read one or the other to understand the other. so, i hope you enjoy!

⟶ this is part of the melodrama tour series!

You swear you’re over Jungkook.

In fact, you would even go so far as to say you hate him ━ but you know that’s not true. It’s just that it’s much easier to believe that if you tell yourself you hate him enough times, then maybe you’ll find a way to fix your broken heart, and the pain in his absence won’t hurt so bad.

As it turns out, it hardly works.

Seven months since he had left you to travel the world with his band, basking in promised eternal glory and fame and money, and yet even miles and oceans away from where you stand, he’s all you can think about. There’s a myriad of reasons as to why trying to forget him was an useless endeavour. The hardships of trying to forget a cherished life-long friendship you had grown accustomed to was one of them, and those lingering happy moments you had shared with him as lovers however fleeting they may be was another. But then there was the ever present fact that Jungkook and his band were so quick to rise to fame, their names far exceeding the seemingly cramped and small city you had both reigned from, and suddenly the boy you had known forever, and everything special that makes him, was now being shared to hundreds of millions of adoring fans.

You were certain it was all Jungkook ever wanted, the added attention and the pretty girls fawning over him, because he had always been a casanova in many ways despite always promising you that you were the only one for him even before you had started dating. You had told him it wouldn’t work ━ I trust you as my best friend, you had said in a moment of despair, grasping at straws. I don’t have to worry about you breaking my heart. But I don’t know if I can trust you as my boyfriend ━ far before he and his band had been signed to their record label and paraded around the world, when they were still practicing in rented storage units and friends’ garages and rundown local studios, playing gigs anywhere and everywhere from dingy bars to college campus parties, supporting him every step of the way if only because he was your best friend, and he had been so persistent that it would work, chasing after you even when you tried to push him away. I would treat you right, he had urged so ardently late one drunken night after stumbling back to his apartment. I already practically worship the ground you walk on.

And how could you ━ who had already been so madly in love with him but scared of him breaking your heart, scared of losing him, scared of this happening ━ ever resist him? He made love seem so easy, and maybe that’s because it was when you were with him. But now, he was no longer yours; now, he was the world’s, and you were nothing but a mere hazy fragmented memory in his mind, long forgotten, watching from the side of the stage much like you always had from the very start of it all.

“Hey, isn’t this that band?” Jihyo’s voice bursts through your wandering trail of thoughts.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, finding yourself not in the arms of an ex-lover or stuck in a bygone time of months past, but in the cosy and amiable café nearest your campus and frequented by a plethora of your fellow peers. You’re fortunate to find that your other group mates have also become sidetracked, trailing far from the assignment you were all supposed to be working on. Dahyun is perched beside you, chin nestled in the palm of her hand and elbow propped on the table as she scrolls aimlessly through her phone; Jihyo and Taeyong were sat across from you, gossiping fervently about some mutual friend of theirs. You hadn’t known the pair long enough to know much about them or the tragic affair of whoever Mina is for accepting her cheating boyfriend back for the second time, and, likewise, they seem oblivious to your own self-wallowing once you realize what’s caught Jihyo’s sudden attention.

You hear his voice first.

It’s easy to discern, even after all this time and even amongst the muffled chatter and clanking of porcelain and cutlery of those seated around you. The sweet, velvety lull of Jungkook singing throughout the café from the overhead speakers, pretty upbeat melodies and synths mixed with wistful words making up the song he had written for you before he left, before the fame and fans, as a way of telling you how he truly felt about you. It feels like a dream, and maybe that’s because it is, bringing you instantly to another time, and another world. You still remember him showing you the unfinished song for the very first time, curled up next to him in his living room, listening to him serenade you to sleep, humming in places where he hadn’t formed the words yet, strumming along with his acoustic. It was yours and his until he showed the world almost a year ago on their very first show at the Seoul Olympic Stadium in front of thousands of people, as a final desperate act of proclaiming his love for you after a disastrous attempt at a first date that he had begged from you. Just one, he pleaded. To prove it to you that I can be a good boyfriend. And if things don’t work out, we can pretend it never happened and just go back to being us. That’s a promise.

At the time, you had treasured the song. It was beautiful in every way, his love transcending his words and enveloping your heart in pure warmth.

Now, you hate it.

It’s the third time you’ve heard the song that day. Despite avoiding it as best as you could, it seems to find a way to make itself known in your daily life like the nagging nuisance it is. Because fate seemed to enjoy its sadistic behaviour of having the song be one of the main reasons Jungkook and his band had skyrocketed to fame in such a short span of time and, suddenly, Jungkook disappearing from your life meant little when his voice remained as a constant reminder of what could have been, what couldn’t have been, and what fell apart at the already fragile seams. And what was a proclamation of love to you turned into nothing but a fabled tale of lovers. You wonder if people who hear it ever think about where they’ve gone, or who they’ve turned into, or if their love was made to last. You wonder, above all else, if people ever think about it at all.

“Beyond the Scene, right?” Taeyong asks. He seems just as animated to be discussing the song as Jungkook’s voice fades into Jimin’s.

“God, I love this song. It’s so dreamy,” Jihyo lets out a longing sigh as she slumps against her seat. “Y’know, I’m seeing them this Friday. It’s their first time being back in, like, five months.”

“Dude, I’ve been trying to get tickets to see them for months now!” Taeyong gaps incredulously. “How’d you score them?”

“A friend of a friend knows the guy who plays keys,” Jihyo says. “The cute mysterious one.”

“Yoongi, right?”

“Yeah━”

As the pair dive into a passionate discussion about the boys and their first full-length album released under their recently-signed-to label from Columbia Records, you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Dahyun almost immediately straightens up, eyes flickering from the pair to you and back again. You’re both fortunate she’s there, having known your past with Jungkook, and despise it a little more, wondering what her pitying gaze must mean.

“Hey, Dahyun. Y/N.” Taeyong’s voice grabs your attention now. “What do you think of these guys? Didn’t some of them used to go to this school?”

“Yeah, I had a few classes with their drummer.” Dahyun waves her hand airly, swiftly brushing over the fact that she did far more than have a “few classes” with any of the boys but was also one of their closest friends. “I think they’re great━” She glances sideways at you one more time. “Hey, maybe we should get back to the assignment now━”

“I had a class with their lead guitarist, Jungkook, last year,” Jihyo continues, her excitement getting the best of her as Dahyun’s voice drowns out in the foreground.

“No way!” This dubious exclamation comes from Taeyong.

“I tried talking to him once but he totally blew me off,” Jihyo says. “Which is fine, because he’s still hot. If I had known he was gonna be a famous rockstar, I’d have tried asking him out a second time━”

Suddenly, you feel sick.

It’s odd to hear two strangers discuss Jungkook’s life while you’re seated across from them, as if you’re nothing more than an outsider to whoever Jungkook has become now. But you can’t stand it anymore. You’re certain you look insane to them when you push your seat back abruptly, the metal legs screeching against the floor as you stand.

“Whoa, what’s wrong━?” Taeyong starts to ask but you’re gone before he can finish the question, murmuring a half-hearted excuse about how you forgot you needed to be somewhere.

You’ve rounded on your heel and have fled from the café before anyone can try to stop you, with nothing but Jungkook’s mellifluous voice fading in the distance as he croons aloud for you in a time long since passed.

You don’t care. Besides, you’re sure Dahyun will cover for you.

The worst part of it all? The dreadful realization that sinks into your mind, and into your heart, beckons the question: who’s to say you aren’t a stranger now to Jungkook’s life altogether?

“So, what are you trying to say?”

You remember the moment so clearly despite wanting nothing more than to forget it all, and the pain associated with it. Because even from then you knew you would always be in love with Jungkook, but you couldn’t have him. It’s hard to remember whose fault it is this time that caused the sudden fight, though random little arguments had been a frequent occurrence nearing the end of your one year relationship more often than not. You hate blaming it all on him, because you were certain you were at fault too. Maybe a little bit wary at times, a little selfish, wanting him all to yourself. Even though you knew he has an obligation to the world, it still hurt when he started making promises he couldn’t keep, blowing you off for soundchecks, or spontaneous interviews, or record label meetings. More and more you could feel the both of you drifting apart, maybe without even meaning for it to happen.

It was just that Jungkook was destined for a lifetime of greatness, and you were starting to think that meant without you.

You had stopped him late one night after he had stumbled home from his and the band’s nightly studio sessions as they worked through recording their debut album as a signed band. Lately, it seemed as if that was all that Jungkook cared about, and while you knew the band meant the world to him and you would always support him in his endeavour, you couldn’t help but feel lesser in comparison. That, and you hated seeing the boy overwork himself to the point of near exhaustion every night if only because their label was so adamant about having the album finished before the month ended.

“You want to, what? Break up?” Jungkook asked, this time more incredulously and less dumbfounded as he had initially been. He didn’t believe you just yet, but you couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking anymore at that point.

“I just figured we could use some time apart,” You had suggested awkwardly. “Just a break.”

He had let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh. “Y/N, this is insane.”

You flinched. You remember having to look away, refusing to meet his suddenly sorrowful look. “Is it, Jungkook? I mean… Look at us. We’re falling apart. It was bound to happen eventually. We tried to make it work but maybe we’re on different paths now.”

“But I love you,” Jungkook gasped, exasperated. “Where is this coming from?”

“And I don’t want to have to tie you down for the rest of your life,” You continued on stubbornly, “or make you think you owe me your whole life just because you said you fell in love with me when you were thirteen━”

This seemed to catch Jungkook’s attention. He grew rigid in front of you, a look of wary agony contorting his face. “Is that what this is then? You don’t love me anymore?”

You didn’t respond immediately, instead the dread of the night seemed to finally catch up with you and you had grimaced. You had loved him even then, but the thought of voicing it aloud when you were supposed to be breaking up with him didn’t feel right. The tears began to swell in your throat and blur your vision. Jungkook must have noticed, because he always seems to spot the small things about you that even you miss. Almost instantly, the sour look on his face softened and his gaze turned helpless, with those big puppy-dog eyes that you’ve always been too fond of. He closed the distance between you at once, warm hands grabbing at your own.

“You do.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. He knew you were still in love with him ━ or maybe he’d just been hopeful. “I know you do. So then why are you breaking up with me?”

He let go of one of your hands to reach up to your face, calloused fingers gentle and soft against your cheek as they brushed away a rogue tear you hadn’t realized had fallen from your lashes. For a moment, you had let yourself get carried away. You leaned into the comforting heat and touch of his palm as he cradled your face.

“Don’t━” You choked out after a moment of silence, hating when your voice splintered into a sob. “Don’t touch me. Please, Jungkook. You’re only going to make this harder.”

His hands sprang away from your face almost at once, as if he had just been burnt by scalding fire. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you into his arms but he had refrained the urge somehow, miraculously. So, instead, he grit his teeth and clenched his hands into fists as his arms fell limp at his sides.

“Then don’t do this. Don’t walk away,” Jungkook pleaded desperately. “I don’t understand. If you love me still, why are you making this harder for yourself?”

“Because what if that’s all we have in common anymore?” You asked wretchedly. “We care about each other. We always will. But you’re focused on the band, and this is my last year of school. Maybe we just need time to focus on ourselves.”

Jungkook blinked once. Twice. His stare was suddenly devoid of any emotion as he gawked at you, but you could tell that he was hurting. It was there in the fluttering of nerves in his jaw; there, in the way his lips pulled taut into a thin line; there, in the way even you could see his eyes begin to shimmer with wet tears that he unabashedly displays without trying to wipe away.

“So that’s it?” he asked. “After everything we’ve been through. You’re just gonna end it, like that? Y/N, come on━”

His hands had found purchase on your waist, and you had lingered for a moment too long; then, fumbling, he tried to grab delicately at your face, probing you to look at him. But you couldn’t. The moment you met his wounded gaze, you shook your head furiously. You had slithered out of his grasp, slipping through the seams of his fingers just like that.

“I━” You paused. “This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, Jungkook. How can you not see it? I’ve felt so alone these past few months. It’s like you’re here but not entirely. Your mind is always somewhere else, always thinking about the band and never about us.”

“What am I supposed to do?” he had asked hotly. “The band is my everything.”

“And what am I?” You asked. The question only mildly offended you, a shot right to your heart. Because if the band was his everything, what were you in comparison? “A distraction until you get everything you want? I can’t keep being that.”

“No!” he protested. “You’re not a distraction. You’re━” He stopped himself short, brows furrowing. “You can’t keep pinning this all on me. You just don’t trust me, do you? You never did. Always thinking I’m with some other girl when I’m not with you━”

“That’s not true,” You admonished.

“Isn’t it?” Jungkook retaliated.

“I don’t want to hear it,” You had said at once. Your tone was final, a decisive ending to your argument with him. “My mind’s already been made up, Jungkook. I don’t think we should see each other again until we sort all this out ━ or, until you sort out whatever your priorities are.”

Jungkook’s stare had hardened, a frown deeply etching into his face. He had straightened up then, perplexed and upset with your standoffish demeanour, as if thinking this surely meant nothing to you. But little did he know this would become one of the hardest decisions you would have to make.

“Fine,” he said rigidly. “If that’s how it is, then I’m gone. You’ll never have to see me again.”

You hadn’t known at the time just how terribly you had messed up ━ neither had Jungkook. He had left before you could stop him, or before either of you could change your minds. Because nothing’s worse than a broken heart, blinded by stubborn and defensive rage. Accusatory fingers and blaming him or you wouldn’t heal the wounds that had already formed, and ending things seemed to only make it worse, months of lonely heartache without Jungkook to further prove just that…

The last time you spoke to Jungkook, you told him you never wanted to see him again ━ or, at least, that seems to be how he interpreted it.

Now, you were standing in the midst of his domain, surrounded by everyone in his public sphere of friends and colleagues and acquaintances, and there was certainly no way of escaping him.

You were starting to think you’re losing mind, because you’d truly have to be insane to have worked up the nerve to agree to go with Dahyun to a party being held celebrating the band’s recent tremendous success and headlining their first world tour. Their manager, Jin, had personally reached out to you and Dahyun, calling you as a means of asking you to attend, though you had given him a timid and dismissive response at first. If it hadn’t been for Dahyun purposely and almost quite literally dragging you out under the premise that “even if you don’t want to see Jungkook, you at least owe it to the boys to go,” you don’t think you’d even be here. But while you didn’t know where you stood with Jungkook anymore, that didn’t mean you weren’t still proud of him or the rest of the boys. It just became harder to bask in their success with them when you had gone from knowing every detail of their lives, of Jungkook’s life, to knowing only what you could hear from gossiping fans around you, or plastered in tabloids, or all over any form of social media.

The party is held at some sort of fancy lavish restaurant, the entire back room rented out by the band’s record label and management, and is filled with dozens of people you don’t know. Fortunately, you and Dahyun aren’t left alone for very long, as an elated Jin and Jimin, the appointed lead singer, bustle their way through the crowd to you almost as soon as you arrive, leaving very little time for you to feel so awkward that you consider running away again. Jimin, in all his spritely and extravagant blue haired disposition, wastes no time in engulfing you both in a comforting hug as if months hadn’t passed since you’ve last seen them.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Jin smiles from over Jimin’s shoulder.

“It’s been forever,” Jimin affirms.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Dahyun says. “I’m surprised you guys didn’t forget about us, considering you’re big rockstars now.”

“Rockstar is a bit of an overstatement.” An effortlessly charming smirk unfurls on Jimin’s face, which seems to immediately dazzle Dahyun. “Besides, we could never forget you. Hey, come with me to find the guys. I think we could all use some time to catch up━”

He places his hand on the small of Dahyun’s back as he guides her away, leaving you with Jin. A moment of silence passes, in which time you can feel the boy’s eyes lingering on you.

“He knows you’re coming tonight, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jin says carefully, treading over his words lightly. It’s too painfully obvious who he’s talking about, though you’re fortunate he doesn’t bother mentioning Jungkook’s name anyway. “There’s no point in hiding. I think you should talk to him.”

“I━” You trail off uselessly, your voice croaking. Fearing an imminent breakdown, you shake your head. Then, holding your chin a little higher, Jin’s startled to hear you pretend as if he hadn’t said anything. “It really is good to see you guys again. If you’ll excuse me, I think I need a drink.”

And you’re gone once more before he can say anything else. On your lonesome, you find refuge at the bar, though you only order water because you’re certain you won’t be able to stomach anything stronger. You don’t know how long you spend there, blankly staring at a spot on the wall as your mind wanders everywhere and yet nowhere at all until━

“Y/N?”

There it is again. The familiar sound of his voice, only this time it’s much more attainable, closer to your world and not elsewhere so high in the clouds like a hopeful dream. You brace yourself before turning to face him.

This close, Jungkook looks breathtakingly and painfully beautiful.

As always, he’s adorned in all black, the first few buttons of the silky blouse he’s wearing left undone so that it teases the exposed flesh of his collarbones and the rose tattoo that inks his chest, the thorny stems crawling up the side of his neck just below his ear, accompanied by a pair of leather pants. He’s the same as ever. The same imperfect tattoos that decorate his fingers and arms that you’ve always loved, the same ring-clad fingers painted a chipped black, the same hoop accentuating his button nose. His hair is still his natural dark ebony color (something he’s seemed to stick with much more as of late despite dyeing it wild colours throughout his past), only it’s a little longer than you last remembered, and the sides of his head are shaved in the form of an undercut. You’re foolishly surprised to find he still looks the same, but almost a year away from someone can both change nothing and yet everything all at once.

“Jungkook…” You want to say something more, but your words fall short.

It’s hard to tell if he’s angry or upset at seeing you there, but you don’t think he’s either, and you have an inkling of a thought that he purposely sought you out amongst the many faces. Instead, he looks hesitant, apprehensive, as if dreading how you’ll respond to see him. As if you’ll yell at him, push him away. You do neither, fortunately.

Just when the dense silence starts to become almost unbearable, Jungkook clears his throat. “I━ Wow… You look great.”

You blink once, a flustered blush warming your face that you hope he doesn’t notice. “Oh. Thank you. You do, too.”

His eyes flicker over your presence as he nods absentmindedly. Then, he’s offering you a pretty smile, soft and sweet in nature. No malice, or ill-intent. “Um━ How have you been?”

You hate this. You hate the awkward pauses, the prolonged periods of silence. A year ago, even despite knowingly pining for one another, your moments alone with Jungkook were never so terrible. He always found a way to say something cheekily flirtatious even when you were just friends, if only because he knew it would make you blush and giggle because, no matter how many times you would roll your eyes or nudge his sides, he also knew you secretly loved it. All the inside jokes, the milestones shared together, the ardent fleeting touches ━ where did it all go? And while you were both noticeably trying to maintain the peace and pleasantry between one another, it didn’t feel the same. It felt forced, fake. Distracted.

“I’ve been good,” You lie. “How about you? Actually, don’t answer that━” You let out a breathless chuckle. “You’ve clearly been doing amazing. I mean, your album, and your world tour. And tomorrow you’ve got a big day with the hometown show. I heard it sold out in the first ten minutes.”

“Something like that,” Jungkook says modestly. “It’s been kind of crazy. Namjoon says it’s good, but I miss━ I just miss a lot of how it used to be. The slow pace. I dunno. The quick burn up is quick to burn out, right?”

“Maybe,” You admit. “But I think you’ve all got it in you. You’ve worked so hard for this moment. Enjoy it while you’re in it. You deserve it, Jungkook.”

His stare softens as it meets yours. “Thanks.”

Another beat of silence passes. He looks as if he’s warring with himself, as if he’s fighting the urge to say something more, gnawing at his lower lip, brows knitting together.

“Yo, Jeon!” A foreign voice from amongst the crowd beckons aloud abruptly for the boy.

Jungkook glances over his shoulder swiftly in search of the source, then waves his hand as if to motion he’ll be there later. Then, he turns back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I won’t keep you,” You say. “I know you’re busy.”

“But━” He stops himself, his jaw clamping shut. Changing his mind, he decides to ask hopefully, “Will you be at the show tomorrow?”

“Of course.” The affirmation seems to relieve him, even though it’s a spontaneous decision made by you on the spot. Before this moment, you hadn’t been so sure you could go.

“Promise?”

You can’t help but shake your head, a chuckle slipping past your lips at the innocent boyish question he asks. “Yes, Jungkook.”

His smile widens a little more, however sheepish it may be. “Then can you promise me one more thing?”

“What?” You quirk a brow, intrigued to say the least.

“Will you drop by the hotel we’re staying at tomorrow morning, so I can take you out for a coffee? Just to catch up. It’s been a while,” he says timidly. Then, feeling a little stupid for being so bold, scrambles to explain himself. “And no pressure if you don’t want to. I just thought━”

You can’t possibly say no. Not when it comes to Jungkook, all your past struggles seemingly vanishing without a trace. “I’d like that a lot, Jungkook.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Then he’s positively beaming, his self-indulgent grin making your own heart flutter in your chest. When he leaves your side that night, you find yourself looking forward to the future perhaps a little too optimistically. But how terrible could grabbing coffee with your ex be, if you had survived the first wretched encounter?

So, in the morning when you wake, there’s not a stutter in your step or a wavering flicker of your confidence as you make your way to the Four Seasons hotel Jungkook had told you to from the night before. In fact, a selfish part of you almost thinks that maybe things will start to look up. That maybe you and Jungkook can finally make amends. That maybe you never had a reason to fear Jungkook breaking your heart if he made such an effort to heal it.

The hotel itself is one of the most luxurious ones in Seoul, a considerable contrast from when the boys were slumming it on friends’ couches and in their run-down van touring the country. The room Jungkook tells you to meet him at is one of the hotel’s grand suites, located on the higher levels of the building. But as soon as you reach the landing and have begun making your way towards the designated door, it flings open and a pretty girl comes stumbling out. She’s giggling at something that has just happened inside, her hair a dishevelled mess which she ruffles up in an attempt to fix it. She’s adorned in a pretty little dress, the skirt of which is hiked a little higher up and one strap falling down her shoulder, as she clings her shoes and bag to her chest. She smiles at you on the way past, though she’s too far gone in her own little daze that you wonder if she even notices you at all.

But you certainly notice her, and, all at once, your reverie of him and what could be comes crashing to the ground once more.

Maybe you should have stayed, should have waited for Jungkook to let him explain, but you were too afraid to hear an answer you weren’t looking for. You try desperately not to imagine Jungkook loving someone else. You try not to think about him holding her the same way he held you, his lips finding purchase on some other girl. But by trying to avoid the thought, it beckons the unwarranted memories of how it felt to be loved all over by him once upon a time. You wonder how many girls he’s hooked up with in your time apart, and the overwhelming sense of regret washes over you.

You don’t bother to wait. You know fleeing is the easiest option rather than facing your fear, but you’re far too timid of rejection again. Instead, even before you can approach Jungkook’s hotel room and knock on the door, you turn on your heels and run.

You’re long gone by the time Jungkook comes to the door, prying it open in search of you on a whim. When he doesn’t see you, he glances up and down the hallway but to no avail. Namjoon comes slinking past inside then in his own disoriented haze, having just woken up from moments ago when the girl he had taken back to their room the night before left. Even then, Jungkook had warned the rhythm guitarist against bringing the girl back, pointing out the fact that they had much to do today ahead of their concert. Namjoon had promised it wouldn’t be long, that she would be gone in the morning, and Jungkook was fortunate enough that the suite had two separate bedrooms on the opposite ends of one another so that Jungkook didn’t have to hear whatever it was the pair were doing in the other.

“Did Mina leave?” Namjoon asks through a yawn, digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes. When Jungkook nods, a sliver of a reminiscent smug grin tugs at Namjoon’s lips. “You missed out, Jungkook.”

The cheeky quip is met with a roll of Jungkook’s eyes. “I’m sure I’ll survive. You know I’m not like that.”

Like that━ As in midnight hook-ups and cheap thrills alike. He tried it once, far ago when you had first broken up with him, on a drunken spur of a moment as a way of healing the anguish in his heart. It hadn’t worked then; he assumed it would never work.

Namjoon seems to understand this immediately. He gives Jungkook a look that the boy doesn’t notice. “Well… is Y/N here yet?”

“No. But I’m sure she’ll be here,” Jungkook grimaces. He hopes. “Something probably came up.”

Namjoon clasps a reassuring hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, humming aloud, “Good luck, dude.”

But you never arrive, even though Jungkook waits for most of the morning, nervous eyes flickering to the door at every commotion outside, running to check only to see room service delivering breakfast or concierge showing guests to their rooms. He has no choice but to give up on the thought of you coming when Jin knocks on their door, prompting the boys to get a start on their day. Interviews and soundcheck await, but how could he possibly go on with his life without knowing what happened to you?

Which is why you stay on his mind for the rest of the day, distracting him in every aspect, mixing up his words when he’s in the midst of his interview, tripping up on stage as the boys set up and begin to rehearse. As the hours wane down to just an hour before the show, the thought of performing in front of thousands of fans starts to make him nervous and he doesn’t know why. He’s done this countless times before, almost nightly during the tour, so what stops him now? Of course he knows the answer, had grown all too accustomed to the feeling the first few months in which the break up had been so recent. It would always be about you.

But just before the show starts, Jungkook is making his way backstage from the greenroom, where the band had been waiting, to the stage. Fiddling with his in-ear piece, he almost doesn’t notice you and Dahyun weaving your way through the roadies and sound tech, being guided by Jin to the pit on the side of the stage where only family and friends are allowed. You don’t see him, and there’s a split moment where he thinks he should just let you go, until he doesn’t.

As he makes his way to you, the tour manager for the band intervenes part way, shouting out to the boy. “Where are you going? We’re on in five, Jungkook!”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back━” He waves the manager off as politely as he can, wasting no time to chase after you. He calls out your name, though it drowns out in the sound of the music being blasted through the speakers of the arena and the screaming fans. “Y/N, wait up!”

He’s relieved when he sees you stop in your tracks, turning to face him as Dahyun and Jin become lost in the chaos of the backstage. He comes to stand just before you, smiling breathlessly at you, unaware of the way your shoulders tense at the sight of him.

“You didn’t show up this morning,” he says as a way of greeting, his voice a curious prob. “What happened?”

You try desperately not to get lost in his big beautiful eyes, laced with such hope. Instead, you fold your arms over your chest, looking away. “Something came up.”

It’s then that Jungkook senses something is wrong. You’re upset with him, though he can’t tell why. Aside from the obvious rift in your relationship that had initially split you two up, you had been so pleasant to see him the night before. But he doesn’t give up just yet. “Well… you’re here now.”

You meet his gaze with your own hardened one. “For the boys.”

A shot right to his heart almost makes Jungkook gasp for air. He flinches, and then his stare softens, and you wish he wouldn’t look at you like that, out of fear that you might just relapse into his arms.

“What’s wrong?” He closes the distance between the two of you. He wants nothing more than to reach out and touch you, but refrains with much difficulty. There’s dozens of things that could be wrong, and he braces himself for your retaliation. “You didn’t want to come, did you?”

When you don’t respond, but also don’t stray from his side, Jungkook hurries to speak again if only to fill the tense silence.

“Look, last night… Maybe it was just me, but last night seemed like things were okay,” he says. “Was I wrong to feel that way?”

“Jungkook…”

“Please, just let me know,” he begs. “Because you’re all I can think about these days, it’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know what’s going on, but the reason I wanted to see you this morning was because I hate how things ended between us, and I wanted to tell you…” He swallows nervously as he trails off uncertainly. “I wanted to tell you that I’m still in love with you. And I can’t get you out of my head. These months away from you made me realize that I━”

Suddenly, you’re shaking your head and he knows you don’t believe him. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets saying it, if only because they seem to enliven you. Now, you push yourself away from the boy. “I’m not doing this right now. You’re not doing this right now.”

As if to further your point, the band’s tour manager can be heard calling out frantically for the boy. “Two minutes, Jungkook!”

But Jungkook is hardly paying attention now, instead solely focused on you. “Please, Y/N━”

“No, you don’t get to say that to me,” You admonish hotly. You can’t bite the words back, no matter how hard you try. “You don’t love me. You think you love me, but you don’t.”

His jaw clenches, and his brows furrow into a frustrated stare. “I do.”

“You don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Stop.” The harsh word makes Jungkook clamp his mouth shut. You shake your head furiously, but you know it’s only to distract yourself so that you don’t let the tears fall. “You’re being selfish, Jungkook. You don’t get to take all of me, love all of me, and leave, only to come back months later and pretend you’re still in love with me. And whatever this━” You gesture vaguely between the two of you, “is, or was, doesn’t exist anymore. We both need to stop pretending otherwise.”

Jungkook winces, eyes tinged with pain. “You don’t mean that.”

You don’t respond. Elsewhere, his tour manager starts to grow impatient, scolding the boy aloud, “Jungkook, we’re gonna be late. Hurry up!”

“Yeah, I’ll be there!” Jungkook calls back, irritated. Maybe he is being selfish. He’s wasting precious time by not leaving, all the hard work that the crew put into tonight’s show, and the fans awaiting his and the band’s arrival. He can still hear the crowd, this time their buzzing voices amalgamating into unanimous chanting muffled by the walls that sounds akin to the band’s name.

“You should go,” You say now. “Don’t wanna disappoint them.”

But he’d throw it all away for you if you told him to. He promised you that even before he had left for tour, before the band had been signed. Had you forgotten? Because he surely hadn’t.

“Y/N…”

“Good luck out there.”

Then, you’re gone before Jungkook can even make a move to stop you ━ but even if he did, what could he do to make you stay? The feat seemed impossible, and you always seem to find a way to slip from his grasp no matter what he does. Only this time he has no choice but to let you go, out of fear of being berated further by his tour manager or angering the boys so much to the point where he gets kicked out of the band.

He makes it on stage in time, the band filing out to take their places one at a time, deafening screams blowing out their in-ear pieces that stand no chance as each member joins the stage. The lights fizzle out until complete darkness cloaks the venue, but Jungkook still looks for you. He finds you in the pit on the side of the stage, Jin and Dahyun standing beside you, and finds it hard to keep his eyes off of you even though you attempt to pretend as if he’s not even there.

After their first adrenaline-filled opening song of the night, Jimin takes to the microphone to greet the crowd who scream back an indiscernible shout as, elsewhere, you notice Jungkook pry himself away from the microphone stand on his side of the stage to wave the rest of the boys over to Hoseok’s drum kit. They murmur amongst themselves briefly, though they go unnoticed by Jimin or the crowd as the lead singer entertains them.

“Seoul! It’s good to be back. We’ve missed you all so much━”

Jimin’s words get cut short when Jungkook, having just parted ways with the rest of his members for their impromptu meeting, beckons the lead singer over, out of range of the microphone. They seem to discuss something just as shortly as Jungkook had talked with the rest of the boys, in which time Jimin nods understandingly, then steps away from the microphone. Then, Jungkook takes to the microphone, the rings on his fingers glistening under the spotlight as he grips the stand.

“I know the night’s only getting started,” Jungkook’s voice wavers as he speaks, “but we’re gonna slow things down for a moment. We hope you don’t mind.”

Intrigued murmurs echo around the crowd, suddenly buzzing with excitement as they watch Jungkook with eager eyes. A few encouraging bellows has Jungkook smiling smally. Jin, on the other hand, looks perplexed.

“What is he doing?” Jin asks no one in particular, a quizzical look on his face. “This isn’t part of their set.”

“I think a lot of you might know this next song,” Jungkook continues, “but I don’t think I’ve ever expressed how much it means to me. This next one, I wrote for a special someone, and it sort of helped us achieve all of this. So, I think it’s time that person knows how much they mean to me.”

Jungkook glances nervously over at the boys standing behind him, each in their own respective spots. Then, sweeping his gaze across the crowd, he finally finds you already staring up at him. His own eyes soften into a look of longing, however hardened by past tribulations and sorrow it may be. As if he’s determined not to lose you again; determined to make it up to you.

“This next one is for Y/N,” he says timidly. He has to turn away from you in the next second, afraid he might just break down before the fans and the boys and you. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

As the boys take their place, with Jimin taking an acoustic and fading back from the limelight, you wonder why. But then you hear it, the familiar beginning chords making up the song you had so wholeheartedly claimed you hated. Only this time they’re gentler, made up of acoustic strums of a guitar, Hoseok’s drums, and Yoongi’s keys, all amalgamating into a pretty song almost unrecognizable.

Then, Jungkook starts singing, and what was once a wistful dreamy song of prospective lovers suddenly turns into a melancholic requiem for you. Some lyrics are changed, present tense turning to the past, and Jungkook sings his way throughout the entirety of the song in contrast to the one that plays all over the radio featuring the other member’s voices. The fans sing along, their voices melding with Jungkook’s into some sort of celestial mellifluous choir, and you’re left no longer wondering if the fans would ever know the meaning behind the song that Jungkook had brought to life. Because now, it wasn’t just Jungkook singing to you; it was the whole world. And yet, paradoxically at the same time, it felt all that much more intimate. As if it were just you and him once again, seated on the couch in his small apartment, listening to the beginnings of what would be their number one selling song.

Above all else, you realize that you don’t seem to hate the song as much you claimed to.

That night, you can’t sleep.

You find yourself leaving the venue earlier than everyone else, even when the boys invite you and Dahyun to join them for celebratory drinks, returning to your home in the hopes of forgetting the night altogether. Instead, you stay up tossing and turning, your mind filled with memories consisting of only Jungkook and his haunting voice singing to you, and for you. But at some point during the night nearing one or two in the morning, just when you give up on the idea of sleep, the sound of incessant knocking at your front door rouses you from your trance.

When you finally answer the door, you’re more than surprised to see that Jungkook stands on the other side of the threshold as if coming to you from a dream. But then you register the fact that he’s a complete mess. Dark circles line his weary eyes, now smudged with that faint hint of charcoal liner he had worn for the concert, hair so messily mused beyond repair, and you notice quickly that he’s crying, fresh tears glazing over his pupils and streaking down his face. It’s startling to see him in such shambles, a complete contrast to how effortlessly charming and confident he usually portrays himself. But though you’ve seen him cry before on various occasions, now is all the more unsettling.

“I━I’m sorry.” It’s the first thing he says, screwing his eyes shut tightly as he shakes his head. He fumbles over his words, slurring them together in his rush to get them out. “I know I’m probably the last person you want to see right now, but I needed to see you.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, no, I swear━” He pries his eyes open to meet your desolate stare, tears unabashedly falling from his lashes. His voice thins with desperation. “You said we need to stop pretending, but I’m not pretending. I never have been. And if you think ━ if you truly believe ━ that there’s nothing here between us anymore… Tell me. Right here, right now. And I’ll leave you alone forever, you’ll never have to see me again. I just━ I’ve missed you every moment and it kills me.”

You’re silent for a long period, pitying gaze sweeping over him, but he doesn’t care if he looks insane. He just needs you to know how he feels.

“Well, how do you think I felt?” You ask the question carefully, but then the memories come flooding back and the semblance of a scowl forms on your face. “You leave and suddenly everywhere I look I see you. Your song is playing everywhere, you and the guys are everywhere, and I’m reminded every day about how we ended. About how you left me.”

Jungkook blinks. He shakes his head stubbornly, the nerves in the corner of his jaw fluttering as he grits his teeth. “You were the one who said we should take a break.”

“A break!” You snap sternly. “Fuck, Jungkook. I didn’t want you out of my life forever. I wanted you to fight for me.”

“No, don’t put this all on me,” Jungkook pleads helplessly. “I have always fought for you. But the minute things got rough, you bailed. You told me you never wanted to see me again. What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I was scared!” You try to swallow the tears away that start to form as a lump in your throat but to no avail. “I was, and I still am, so fucking scared of losing you. And you━ It felt like you gave me no choice. Like you were over it. I would have wanted to make things work but you left. You just… You left, and suddenly it was like you were never in my life at all. Seven months, and I get no word from you.”

“I fucked up, okay!” He cries out so suddenly, it silences you at once. He bites at his lip, and straightens up half-heartedly, running a hand through his hair. When he meets your stare this time, he’s zealous yet sincere. “I know that I messed up. I know. And it fucking kills me every single day. I don’t know where it went wrong, but it did, and I know it’s all my fault. When you said we should take a break and I agreed, I was only thinking about you. Because I knew I was disappointing you every day, and I was afraid that was all I would ever do, and you don’t deserve that. I thought it would be better this way, if I was just gone from your life for good. But I can’t forget you.”

“How can I trust you?” You ask. When his pained stare gawks at you, you tilt your chin a little higher. “I came by your hotel room yesterday morning, just like you asked, only to see that girl leaving.”

Jungkook’s gawk turns into a dumbfounded expression. He looks weary as he shakes his head, as if struggling to keep up with the way you accuse him now. He tries not to focus on the fact that you actually came to the hotel, then feels inconsolably terrible when he realizes why he never got to see you. “That girl was Namjoon’s fling. We were sharing the suite, and they were in a whole other room. I didn’t even think about her━”

Your stare droops from him, and he knows he’s struggling to keep you on his side.

“Okay, fine. You want trust? I’ll give it to you,” he says. A newfound sense of confidence seems to possess him, though he approaches the topic with extra caution anyway. “After we broke up, I was crushed. I couldn’t move on from you, and the guys thought I should get drunk, find a random girl to bring back to our hotel one night on tour. And I listened, because I wanted to forget you, but it didn’t work. All I could think about was you. Every time she touched me, every time she kissed me, I could only imagine it was you. And when she left that night, I broke down because I felt like such a fucking idiot. I instantly regretted it. Like, even though you and I weren’t together, I still did something to hurt you by sleeping with that girl. And all it did was hurt me too in the process.”

He pushes himself forward, taking a step over the threshold. Even despite him admitting his wrongs to you, you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. Because, at the end of it all, he’s here at your doorstep, pleading for you to forgive him, but he had already won the moment your eyes had landed on him.

“You’re the reason I am who I am today.” His voice is hoarse when he speaks, almost in a whisper. “That I get to do what I love for a living. But all of it means nothing without you. You saw me at my worst, and my best. And you were the best I ever had, and I ruined it, and the worst part of it all is that there’s nothing I can do to make up for it. But I promise I can make it better ━ I can make it right again ━ if you just give me a chance.”

There’s a short pause filled with poignant silence in which Jungkook thinks you’ll push him away or scream at him. He’s fortunate when you do neither; instead, he hears you whisper faintly.

“Kiss me, Jungkook.”

And it’s more than enough for him. His heart thrums in delight as he wastes no time in reaching out for you. His hands are warm as they come to grasp at your face, holding you delicately; then he’s leaning in to you, drawing you closer and closer until his lips are pressed against yours. It’s unadulterated, but not without feverish passion, noses smushing together in both your eager hastiness to close the distance between the two of you. It doesn’t last long either, though that’s partly because Jungkook can taste your tears mingling on your lips, and can feel your faint smile form against his mouth. Kissing him feels both foreign yet familiar at the same time. You know the feel, the taste, and the sense of comfort that comes with it, but months apart from one another has left it feeling different.

Jungkook’s thumb wipes away at the tears on your face. “Why are you crying?”

It’s a useless question, he knows, but he needs something to fill the silence. He’s relieved when he hears you snicker. “Because I miss you, you idiot. And I’m sorry I’ve been acting like such an idiot. I’ve messed everything up.”

His own shoulders quiver with contented mirth. “It’ll be okay.” As he leans in once more for another kiss, you can feel him murmur against your mouth, “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“Then make it right,” You say, “right here and now.”

“I’ll do anything for you,” he promises earnestly.

Jungkook understands the underlying yearning in your voice even without having you explain yourself. He knows, if only because he can feel it too. As his hands fall to your waist, fingers digging into your skin, your own arms wrap around his neck and pull him into your apartment. He has you pressed up against the nearest wall within seconds, kissing at your throat, then up to your jawline.

“It’s been so long,” he sighs.

You hum in agreement, though your mind is already spinning, and all you can muster is a weak yet urgent croak of his name. “Jungkook.”

Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging at the roots and he croons with delight. His lips finally meet yours again, only this time he lets his tongue lav at your lower lip. Almost as soon as he does so, you notice something strange. It takes a moment for you to register the small metallic object that grazes your lower lip but when you do, you pull away from the boy.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks in a confused dazed.

“Is that…” You rasp. “Did you get your tongue pierced?”

Suddenly, Jungkook is smirking, one brow shooting up to his hairline in a smug demeanour. He sticks out his tongue for you to see the silver ball poking through and you almost moan at the sight of it as the thought entices you.

“Oh.” Your face warms with a flustered blush. “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” he says. “Always wanted to get it done. Guess I was saving it for the right moment.”

“Right moment, huh?” You scoff as if the implications don’t already have your thighs rubbing together. “Care to explain?”

“I think you’ll find out soon enough.”

You dissolve into a fit of giggles, marvelling at the way Jungkook’s familiar flirtatious bantering can soothe your troubled heart at once. It’s almost as if time hasn’t lapsed between the two of you.

“I’ve missed this,” You sigh. “I’ve missed you, Jungkook.”

You spot him smiling before he’s kissing you again, this time his tongue slipping past your parted lips to meet yours midway. The piercing is strange to adjust to, but you get used to it quickly, humming at the feeling of it against the soft flesh of your tongue. It’s easy to get lost in one another’s lips as you pull and tug at Jungkook, guiding him to your bedroom, nearly tripping and stumbling over one another in the process. He knows the path like the back of his hand, the same way he knows every curve and dimple of your body as his greedy hands explore you. He has you sprawled out beneath him on the bed in a matter of seconds, carelessly shedding each other of your clothes until you’re left naked and he’s without a shirt.

As he’s tugging off the hoodie you’re wearing, he realizes two things abruptly. One: you’re not wearing anything beneath it, your bare body dazzling him at once. And, two: a sudden thought jogs his memory that makes him ponder aloud, “Is this my sweater?”

“Yes,” You admit sheepishly.

He smirks. “Was wondering where it went.”

“You forgot to take it back when…” You don’t finish your sentence. Instead, you tug your fingers at the hair at the nape of his neck, as if scared he’ll leave again. He doesn’t. Instead, he nestles his body between your legs, tonguing patterns on your neck. “I wear it sometimes, especially when I’m missing you. I don’t know… It just━ It still smells like you, even after all this time.”

Jungkook’s heart nearly implodes. He wonders briefly if he’d prefer fucking you without or with the hoodie; but then he’s letting himself time to study your naked body and he deduces he needs to gaze at you in your entirety a little longer.

“Keep talking,” he murmurs. He starts kissing down your body now, starting from your throat to your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, then your navel. “Tell me more. How badly did you miss me?”

“So badly,” You whimper. Your legs instinctively part to make way for him as he shifts downward, kissing just above your core. A shudder runs down your spine when he kisses the inside of your thigh. “Sometimes I’d put your sweater on and touch myself to the thought of you.”

He grunts against you, teeth softly biting at your flesh. His tongue pokes against your thigh, the metallic piercing a dully cold sensation as he licks upward to your core. He laps at your folds, as if to taste the glistening cum that starts to form.

Your breath audibly hitches in your throat, hips jutting forward to meet his mouth. “I missed your hands, and the way they made me feel. Missed your mouth between my legs. Missed cumming on your tongue, or your fingers.”

Now, you’re starting to understand what he meant by waiting for the right moment to use the piercing to its fullest potential. As he lifts his head higher to tongue at your clit, the piercing makes your head spin. The contrast between his soft tongue and the harsh metal works wonders against you, rubbing you just the right way that has you a moaning mess beneath him within a matter of seconds.

“Fuck━” You cry out, hands twisting in his hair. “My hands never feel the same. You always made me feel so good, Jungkook.”

He hums something in response, the sound reverberating up your spine. He busies himself by replacing his tongue with his finger, rubbing small, controlled circles against your clit as he lowers his mouth to your folds. He teases the piercing against the sensitive flesh before lapping at your insides, burrowing further into you.

“Ooh, Jungkook━”

The noise that eclipses your throat is a piqued sob of delight. The piercing that scratches against your walls has your insides throbbing, body twisting and turning beneath him. You grab at your breasts, fingers pinching at the perked buds as you imagine Jungkook’s hands in replace of yours.

His mouth wraps just right around you and he sucks hard, earning a beautiful moan from you. It doesn’t take long for you to draw closer to your high, sputtering and whimpering at every action he does. Soon he’s burrowing his face even closer against your core, nose nudging against your clit in a way that makes you writhe and squirm. Before he can get carried away (and he certainly could), Jungkook decides to come to a stop which seems to thoroughly surprise and upset you. When you feel his missing warmth between your legs and the sticky wet mess accentuated further by the cool air that hits you, you pout like a child.

“That’s not fair,” you whine.

“Sorry, baby. Need to feel you.” He pulls away from you and crawls over your body once more. He kisses your lips, sloppy and heated, and lets you taste your own succulence on your tongue. “God, I need to feel you so bad.”

You’re just as much startled as you were seconds ago to hear the slight whine in his voice, a sound hot enough to almost push you over the edge.

“I’ve missed you too, just so you know,” he moans, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. Your fingers continue to scratch delicately at his scalp and he simpers delightfully against you. He ruts his hips eagerly against yours, the bulge in his pants rough against your core. “So fucking much.”

“How much?” Now it’s your turn to ask, your curiosity getting the best of you once you find your voice.

“Every day,” he sighs as he continues to grind his hips into yours. “Get so hard at the thought of you. Your pretty mouth moaning my name. Your hands in my hair, just like this━” You pull a little tighter at the roots of his locks, and he has to stifle his contented moan. “And your body━ Fuck, your body. You take my dick so well, baby.”

“Jungkook,” You mewl impatiently. “Wanna feel you in me.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay━”

He hastens to rid himself of his pants and you help, arms momentarily tangling with one another in your rush. Then he’s kneeling before you, one hand planted firmly on your hip, rings digging roughly against your skin, as his other hand wraps a fist around his hard length, slowly pumping himself. He guides the tip of his leaking cock to your core and pushes himself forward carefully. He easily slips past your folds, coaxed by your slick walls, that he has to pause to give you both time to adjust to the feeling. It’s just as he remembered, though somehow better, and he isn’t so sure how long he’ll last. You don’t know either, marvelling in the way he stretches you open.

“Oh, shit,” he grunts.

He watches as your jaw drops open in a silent gap, your eyes fixed only on his. You grab at his hips, fingers scratching delicately over the laurel tattoos inked there, prompting him to move. He does so in one languid movement, burying deeper and deeper into you until you feel so full and he feels so warm. He fucks into you a little sluggish at first, taking his time and enjoying the way your clenching walls feel around his throbbing cock. It’s a pace so maddening that it soon has the both of you panting, heavy moans filling the space around you. Your own fingers dig into his shoulders, his back, his hips ━ anything to keep a hold on reality as you slowly lose yourself to the pleasure. He reaches for one of your hands, eager to feel you in more ways than one, and laces his digits with yours, pressing your clasped palms above your head. You squeeze tightly, his name falling from your lips in a cry.

“Doing so good,” he mumbles through gritted teeth. “Feel so nice, baby.”

Jungkook grasps at your hips and flips the two of you over. He lands on his back on the soft mattress and you fumble to not break the pace. Firmly planting your hands on his chest, you grind against him, sweat coating your forehead. He watches you with a dark fascination, brows screwed together and jaw clenched as your own cum starts leaking down his length. Not wanting to waste another moment without being beside you, he sits up and shifts you in his lap. Then he pulls you close to him, chest pulled flush against chest to the point where he can feel the rapid beat of your heart against his. You whimper aloud, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck as he guides your hips back and forth on him. There’s little to no space between your gyrating bodies, sweaty skin sticking to one another.

At some point, Jungkook notices you’re crying again, steady tears tangling in your lashes and wetting your face. Despite the way you’re driving him to near euphoria, he brushes your hair out of your face and manages to ask, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry━ fuck,” You gasp. He can tell you’re genuinely sympathetic for whatever’s making you cry but it’s hard for you to convey it properly when you’re still so consumed by him. “I’m so sorry━ I’m okay. I just━ You feel so good, Jungkook.”

“It’s okay,” he whispers, rubbing tender circles against your waist that contrasts with the fierce burn between your legs. “You’re okay, baby. Doing so well for me, aren’t you? Cum for me, yeah?”

You won’t tell him why you’re crying ━ not yet, at least. But Jungkook thinks he knows why; he can feel it too. The bitter sense of longing and mingling regret for all the time lost. The overwhelming feeling of love of finally being reunited. You continue to roll your hips against his, and he, breathless, rubs his nose faintly against yours, resting his forehead against yours.

It doesn’t take much longer after that for you to come tumbling to you high. He strokes your hair so lovingly as you ride him recklessly, leisure rolls of your hips driving you to your high. When you cum, the feeling completely washes over you and electricity crackles in your veins, warming your entire body. He holds you close to his chest the entire time as you writhe with pleasure, your walls clenching around his cock.

“Fuck, I’m gonna━” His voice splinters off as you busy yourself by sucking a bruise onto the underside of his jaw.

He reaches his high moments later just as you’re beginning to wince at the feeling of oversensitivity. He grunts and groans, spilling his hot seed into you, and then, with his hips slammed against yours, grinds leisurely to ride out your highs.

Then, the room falls silent.

Neither of you move from your warm embrace, with you still perched on his lap, his cock softening inside you as his cum runs down his length and onto your thighs. Your face is hidden in the crook of his neck, and he waits until you’ve both calmed down from your orgasms. You’re running your fingers through his sweaty hair, but he knows you’re still sad. He kisses you all over in the meantime, a few ticklish kisses that make you smile sleepily and a few loving ones that have your heart swelling. Then, he gingerly shifts your head to look at him.

“Why were you crying?” he asks silently.

It takes you a moment to respond. You cling to him tightly when you do and all he can do is cradle you closer to him. “I don’t want this to be some kind of drunken one night stand thing. Like we both needed one last fuck to get over each other, or something."

“You mean more to me than a one night stand,” Jungkook says and it makes you smile smally, a little timidly.

“That’s good,” You say, “because I’m not over you or us. I want us to work out. I love you too much to lose you again, and I’m scared this might be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“I’m not letting that happen,” Jungkook shakes his head furiously. “I’d be an absolute idiot to let that happen. You won’t lose me. I’m not going anywhere this time. You’re my priority, Y/N. You always have been. Not the band and definitely not the record label.”

“I’m sure the boys will love to hear that,” You snort to yourself.

“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll understand,” Jungkook grins. But you’re only joking, and you know he sort of is too. That’s not to say the band isn’t still important to him, but you take precedent over it. “Without you, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be where I am now.”

You nuzzle your nose against his own, and he steals one sweet kiss from you.

“Do you really mean all that?”

“With my whole heart.”

And, when he says it, you know he means it. There’s no reason not to trust him.

You’ll both move eventually from one another’s arms, soft touches from Jungkook peeling you off of him and wrapping you in your covers before falling asleep beside you, and waking up in the morning with you in his arms. But, for now, it’s just you and him, a little broken still yet all the more in love.

While you both know healing a broken heart will take time, you’re both prepared for it because you’re both worth it to one another ━ and that’s all either of you really need in the end to make it right.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

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hawks-supremacy · 3 years

Text

Pushed Away

summary: Kyotani Kentaro had a hard time letting people into his life, but you somehow managed to worm your way into his heart.

warnings: Swearing, fighting, super cheesy at some parts, angst

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 6.5k

a/n: This ended up being way longer than I intended it to be...oops.

You were in your second year of middle school when you met Kyotani Kentaro. You noticed he didn’t really hang out with anyone, often opting to stick to himself and not bothering to make any friends. You weren’t exactly extremely outgoing seeing as how you only had one or two people you would consider your friends, but you still wanted to befriend the guy who sat alone at lunch and seemed to have a constant scowl on his face. What’s the worst that could happen anyway?

So here you were with your neatly packed bento boxes, having packed an extra one in hopes your befriending attempt was successful. You explained to your two friends why you wouldn’t be sitting with them at lunch and they called you insane, you even invited them to come with confident in your endeavours and they quickly declined the offer. So with a smile on your face and peace offering in hand you made your way outside to where Kyotani usually sat by his lonesome.

As you sat down next to Kyotani he slowly turned his head to look at you, his signature scowl left on his face as he greeted you with a hostile, “What are you doing?” You looked up with a soft smile on your face, wordlessly offering him one of the bento boxes in your hand. His scowl turned to a look of confusion as you set the gift on the ground next to him when he refused to take it, “Are you deaf or something? What are you doing?” He asked with a little more edge to his voice than before.

You unwrapped and opened your lunch as you responded, “You’re on the volleyball team right? I’ve noticed you never eat lunch, you should eat lunch everyday so you have more energy for practice. So I packed you a bento box, I wasn’t sure what you would like so there’s a little bit of everything I usually eat.” You began to eat and his frown deepened as he still refused to pick up the bento box that sat to his left.

You stopped eating as he asked a simple, “Why?” You thought for a moment as you stared at each other. After a minute you shrugged and continued eating, “I want to be your friend.” You said in between bites of food. “Are you going to stare at me the whole hour or are you going to eat?” You asked, setting down your chopsticks and looking at him with raised eyebrows. You continued to stare at him until he silently picked up the bento box and opened it. He examined the food for a bit, looking up at you and back down at the food before he picked up the chopsticks and began eating.

You both ate in silence for the rest of the lunch period occasionally looking at each other like a silent conversation. Even though you hadn’t previously spoken to each other prior to today it was still a comfortable silence. You didn’t feel like you needed to talk to fill the void like you did with your other friends. As the bell rang indicating the end of lunch and beginning of the next period you packed up the empty boxes and stood up. As you went to walk away you heard Kyotani mumble a “thanks” as he walked in the opposite direction and you smiled as you went to your next class.

The next day you walked over to the same place as yesterday but Kyotani wasn’t there. You were a little disappointed but you figured he didn’t want to be bothered. You set down the bento box you once again made for him in hopes he’d come back later and turned around to go back to your usual seat. You didn’t make it far as you turned around and immediately ran into the boy you were searching for. You mumbled an apology that fell on deaf ears as he spoke over you, “What are you doing back?” He questioned as he walked around you to sit down in his usual spot.

“I came to eat with you again, but you weren’t here. I was just going to leave the bento in case you came back.” He was already opening the lunch as you explained and sat down by him. He mumbled something about his class getting out late as he stuffed his mouth full of the tempura your dad helped you cook.

You ate in silence for a few minutes before Kyotani cleared his throat, “So uh, do you like your classes?” He asked awkwardly. You laughed at his attempt to make small talk, coughing as you almost choked on the food you were in the process of chewing. You took a deep breath after calming down and looked up at Kyotani whose ears were slightly pink and looked less than impressed.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh at you Kyotani, it’s just, you don’t have to make small talk if you don’t want to. I’m more than fine eating in silence until you feel comfortable enough to talk without sounding forced.” You gently closed your bento box as you explained your laughing fit. He nodded and went back to eating as you began some homework that was assigned in one of your earlier classes. You looked up as he softly asked what you were working on.

“Something for math, I’m not the best at math but I’m not the worst either. I just figured I’d get a headstart on the assignment so I don’t have to worry about it later.” You continued working on your assignment as you talked, Kyotani nodding as he finished up his food. You didn’t talk much after that, staying quiet as you worked on the problems presented to you on the paper. As the bell rang you packed up your bag and looked over and saw Kyotani with his eyes closed. You gently shook him as you tried to wake him up, “Kyotani, lunch is over we need to go back to class.” He hummed and swatted your hand away, “Yeah yeah, I’m getting up calm down. See ya later Y/n.”

It became routine for you and Kyotani to eat lunch together for the remainder of the school year. By the end of the school year what was once a comfortable silence was now a nonstop conversation. You both grew quite close but your interactions were limited to lunch. You didn’t have classes together and you weren’t sure if he’d be comfortable with you asking to hangout outside of school. So you left your interactions to lunch, which you were fine with. Until the school year was almost over.

It was the last day of school and you were thinking about how you wouldn’t see Kyotani until next year. He could tell you were a little upset and decided to ask what was wrong. “It’s the last day of school, so we won’t see each other until next year.” You were looking down at your food as you responded but you could’ve sworn you heard him let out a small chuckle before flicking you in the forehead. “Ow! What was that for?!” You exclaimed while rubbing the spot he flicked.

“You’re being dramatic for nothing. You have my phone number and I have yours, we can hang out any time either of us want.” He scoffed as he finished his sentence. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic, but you couldn’t help it. It was hard to tell what Kyotani was thinking or what he wanted to do. You weren’t scared of him, you were probably one of the only people who weren’t, but you made so much progress in being his friend and you didn’t want it to end just because you wanted to hang out outside of school and he didn’t.

“Kyotani, are you glad I became your friend?” You asked, scared to know the answer. He thought for a moment before nodding and asking why. “Well the first day I ate lunch with you two of my friends told me I was stupid and you’d never want to be my friend. I’ve been wondering if you’ve just been tolerating me all this time.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at your statement, “Did you believe them?” You shrugged in response because you honestly thought it was a fifty fifty shot when you first approached him. “That’s stupid, I wouldn’t let you sit by me everyday at lunch if I didn’t want you to. The only people I tolerate are people I have to tolerate, like my teammates. Your friends were idiots and so were you if you believed them.” You nodded as the bell rang signaling that your daily dose of Kyotani was over. You said goodbye to each other and went in opposite directions to your classes.

You were leaving the classroom when Kyotani decided to scare you, not intentionally, you just weren’t paying attention when he walked up behind you. “Should put a bell on you, I swear you came out of nowhere. What are you even doing here?” You said with your hand on your chest trying to calm down. He shrugged in response as you two exited the school, “Walking you home so I know where to go when I’m hungry.”

You gasped in mock hurt, “You’ve been using me for my cooking haven’t you! I can’t believe this, I’m honestly heartbroken at the notion. You should just turn away and leave now.” You said trying to push him in the opposite direction of your house. He planted his feet on the ground, effectively stopping you from pushing him any further. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you didn’t want me at your house.” You stopped trying to push him and he turned around to look at you, “Do you not want me over to your house? Weren’t you the one who was all disappointed we wouldn’t be able to hang out anymore”

You opened your mouth to respond and closed it, not quite knowing how to phrase what you wanted to say. You thought for a moment, going back and forth in your head before deciding on a response, “It’s not that I don’t want you over to my house. It’s that my dad is embarrassing and I don’t know what he’ll say to you to be quite honest.”

He raised his eyebrows at your answer, “It can’t be that bad. Come on let’s get going, I’m sure your dad is waiting for you at home. You can come over to my house later and you can meet my embarrassing parents in exchange.”

You sighed and started to lead the way to your house when you realized he wasn’t following you. You turned around and saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets. “Are you coming with or not?” He started walking towards you after you asked. “Don’t blame me when my dad says something stupid though.” You said as he rested an arm on your shoulder as you walked.

“Dad, I'm home! I brought a friend with me!” You yelled into the house as you walked in and took off your shoes. You knew he was home because you saw his car outside. You heard footsteps round the corner from the kitchen as your dad came to greet you with a mixing bowl in hand.

“Hey, how was your last day of school?” He asked as he gave you a side hug. “Who’s this?” He said, eyeing Kyotani, trying to form a first impression of the boy in question as he stood there. You hugged him back as you responded, “It was fine, uninteresting. This is Kyotani Kentaro, is it okay if he stays for dinner tonight?” He agreed but only if Kyotani helped cook.

“ So this is the boy you’ve been cooking everyday for? They talk about you a lot.” Your dad said as you all entered the kitchen. You groaned at his statement, “Dad, can you not say embarrassing things like that? See this is why I didn’t want you over here.” You said turning to Kyotani who was chuckling at the interaction.

He shrugged, walking over to the sink to wash his hands as you finished, “I think it’s endearing that you talk about me to your dad.” You shook your head as you started to cut up vegetables, choosing to ignore the conversation your dad and Kyotani were currently having. You didn’t notice as Kyotani walked up next to you with a mixing bowl in hand, “How’s it going over here?” He asked, startling you.

“Don’t scare people in the kitchen, that’s how accidents happen Kyotani.” You scolded as he laughed at your response. He put his hands up in surrender and went back to mixing the contents in the bowl. Your dad smiled as he watched you guys interact, leaving you both to do your own thing instead of joining the conversation and ruining the dynamic you both had. He eventually told you both to go do something else and he’d come get you when dinner was done.

“Your dad seems cool. Also seems like a good cook.” Kyotani said as you guys entered your room. You nodded as you set your bag down next to your desk before sitting on your bed. “Yeah he’s pretty laid back with everything. It’s just me and him so he tries his best to be the strict parent every now and then. He’s also a professional chef, so I’d hope he was a good cook. You can set your stuff anywhere you want.” He nodded, setting his stuff by the door and sitting on your desk chair.

You talked about your family life a bit more, you found out he had an older sister who he didn’t really talk to and that his parents were separated but he lived with his dad. You explained how it was just you and your dad. Your mom got sick when you were younger and couldn’t understand what was happening or why your mom didn’t come home from the hospital. By the time you were done sharing tragic backstories your dad was calling you both for dinner.

Your dad quizzed Kyotani about his life and interests throughout dinner and you tried your best to interject when you felt things were going to be awkward but sometimes you were just a tad bit too late. Kyotani answered each question honestly and without hesitation, refusing to back down. You sat there the whole time thinking it was a mistake having him stay for dinner and how you should’ve just stuck with your answer of refusing him coming over.

At the end of dinner Kyotani had to go home and you said your goodbyes. Your dad said he was welcome over anytime and you were just glad they didn’t end up fist fighting over some of the questions that were thrown out. You were glad you pursued your attempts at becoming Kyotani’s friend. You could tell you were going to be friends for a while.

Two years later you found yourself and Kyotani watching a movie while you studied in your living room. It had been a month since you both started your first year at Aoba Johsai and you two happened to be in the same class. You got out of volleyball practice a few hours early and came home to study. You joined the volleyball team as their new manager to hopefully spend more time with Kyotani and make sure he wasn’t getting into too much trouble. You finally finished the homework you were working on for the past hour and sighed looking over at your best friend who was laying down on your couch, having finished his work fifteen minutes ago. You went over to where he was and sat on the floor in front of him poking his face until he woke up. “What do you want?” He asked before closing his eyes again.

You sighed, folding your arms on the couch cushion and laying your head on top, “Why’d you almost get in a fight today?” Earlier today you left Kyotani at lunch to go get a drink from the vending machine down around the corner and when you came back he was in a yelling match with some random kid you didn’t know. You stopped him before he could actually start throwing punches and pulled him away. He shrugged at the question saying it wasn’t important. “Seriously Kentaro, I don’t understand why you’re so angry all the time. You’re actually really nice and chill if you just let people get to know you.”

He sighed as he sat up, “Because it’s easier to have everyone hate you than trying to get everyone to like you. Why bother trying to please people when you can just worry about yourself.” You frowned at the response, you sure didn’t hate him. He didn’t really try to make you hate him either. Sure he wasn’t the nicest when you first met but he also didn’t yell at you or anything drastic like that.

“I don’t hate you. I don’t think you hate me either, you didn’t try to get me to hate you from what I can remember either.” You said as you got up from the floor and sat next to Kyotani on the couch.

He yawned as he stretched before turning to you, “You were different. I don’t know how to explain it but you are. I didn’t mind letting you into my small bubble, you know?” You were shocked that he was opening up like this, usually your conversations just consisted of him telling you about everyone that got on his nerves that day and you talking about the new people you met.

Of course whenever you met new people you knew they weren’t going to stick around long. Often they would talk bad about your best friend without knowing that you were friends, so you didn’t stick around them much. Not that you minded, you were perfectly content with your one good friend, not feeling the need to be friends with every single person you met in your life like some people did.

The only problem was that within the past year you began to develop feelings for your best friend. You started to fall in love with the guy who pushed everyone away but you. The guy who never showed any other emotions than annoyed or angry. The guy who you couldn’t quite figure out, and now? Now you were trying to figure out a way to tell him. “Y/n? Are you there? You’ve been spacing out for like three minutes.” He said waving his hand in front of your face.

You turned your head to look at Kyotani who was smirking, trying not to laugh at the fact that you had zoned out. “Were you talking that whole time?” You asked tilting your head slightly to the side.

He raised his eyebrows for a bit before speaking, “Yeah I was just saying how I’m in love with you and how I think you’re the one for me.” You gasped and looked at him with wide eyes about to confess before he started speaking again, “I’m kidding I was asking how you think you’re going to do on the test.”

You closed your mouth and furrowed your eyebrows. “That’s not very nice, you know. You shouldn’t play with other people’s emotions like that, Kyotani.” He was about to speak before you interrupted him this time, “I mean what if I believed that you liked me like that. Of course you don’t it was stupid to think you could, but for you to joke about it? That’s a new level of low.”

You continued to ramble until he eventually cut you off, “Y/n! Would you shut up for one second so I can talk?” You stopped talking and folded your arms, refusing to look at him. “I do like you, that’s just not how I wanted to tell you. I wasn’t sure if you’d like me back so I played it off before you could respond. Sorry if I hurt your feelings, you’re the last person I want to hurt. You’re probably the only person I care about.” You started tearing up at his confession, feeling stupid about the current situation. “Are you crying? Shit I’m sorry.”

You shook your head trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to fall. “No it’s a stupid thing to cry over, sorry. I like you too Kentaro. I just thought you didn’t so it was overwhelming when you said that. Again stupid, sorry.”

He pulled you into a hug that basically ended with you sitting on his lap, “Don’t apologize for your emotions, Y/n. I’m glad you like me back, this means I have a reason to yell at the guys who ask me if you’re single.” You laughed as you hugged him back.

“You know Kentaro, this is the most emotion you’ve ever shown.” He shoved you off of the couch telling you to shut up. You continued your laughing fit before you paused realizing something. “Wait, is that why you almost got into a fight today? Because that guy asked if I was single?” When he didn’t say anything and refused to look you in the eyes you started laughing. “Seriously Kentaro? You were mad because someone asked if I was single? I’m flattered that you felt like you needed to fight the poor boy but holy shit, you probably traumatized him.”

He just shrugged in response as he mumbled, “It was the way he asked, he was all cocky about it. Was hitting on you too saying you had a nice ass.” You opened your mouth in mock hurt, “Are you saying I don’t have a nice ass?” You watched as he stumbled over his words, trying to back track over his previous statement.

You continued the back and forth teasing and laughing for the next hour and a half until your Dad got home. “Hey Dad! How was the restaurant?” You asked leaning over the front of the couch to watch as he walked in. Kyotani hooked an arm over the back of the couch and turned his head to briefly greet your dad.

“It was okay, pretty busy. Is Kyotani staying for dinner? I brought plenty of leftovers from the restaurant.” He said, taking off his coat and walking towards the kitchen. You jumped up from the couch and followed him into the kitchen sitting down at the table as Kyotani followed closely behind. “Yes he is, unless he’s going home right now?” You asked Kyotani who shook his head as he sat next to you. “Well I hope you like nigiri, we had a party of 10 who preordered it and never showed up.” Your Dad explained as he sat down with the to-go containers of food. You high fived your dad, “I love when that happens.”

You spent 10 minutes discussing how school was and any upcoming assignments that were due or tests that were coming up. You were about to talk about the upcoming practice match that Aoba Johsai had against Nekoma when Kyotani spoke up, “I’d like to date Y/n, if you’d let me.” You whipped your head towards your Kyotani who was having a stare down with your Dad.

You looked at your dad who looked at you and then Kyotani confused, “You mean you haven’t been dating this whole time?” He asked innocently. “I seriously just assumed you were dating this entire time, I’m sorry.” He continued when no one said anything.

A week later a Kyotani was taking you on your first date. You weren’t doing much, he just took you to get some ice cream and now you were sitting on a swing set just talking about nothing as you stared at the sky. It may not have been much but you wouldn’t have traded it for the world, in your eyes this was the perfect first date.

At the end of the date he was walking you home and he mentioned that he was nervous that the date wouldn’t be enough and you’d hate it. After all, you didn’t really have jobs so it was all he could afford at the time. You told him it was perfect as he dropped you off at your house. You were about to kiss him when your dad opened the door, “Oh did I interrupt, my apologies. I thought you forgot your house key and that’s why you were standing here. I’ll just uh, let you continue.” He slowly backed away and closed that door.

“Oh my god that was so embarrassing. I’m so sorry.” You said while running your hands down your face in both frustration and embarrassment. Kyotani chuckled as he removed your hands from your face and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. “It’s fine. Goodnight Y/n.” He said and walked away. You yelled a goodbye and walked inside to see your dad smirking at you. You felt your face heat up and quickly walked to your room wanting to avoid an awkward conversation.

A month later you were walking out of your classroom when one of the second years from the volleyball team stopped you and made you follow them. When you rounded the corner you saw Kyotani pinning some poor boy against the lockers all but screaming in his face. Your eyes widened as you scurried over to where they were, pulling Kyotani away from the traumatized boy. “Kentaro you gotta stop getting in fights before you get suspended or expelled.” You said softly as you intertwined your fingers with his and walked out of the school.

“I don’t care, you didn’t hear what he was saying about us.” He huffed and turned his head away from you. You asked what he said and felt his grip on your hand tighten. “He said you’d get tired of me and my attitude and leave, and when you did you had plenty of people waiting to sweep you off of your feet. I think what made me so mad is that he’s right. When you get tired of me you have all these people waiting to take you away from me.”

“Kyotani Kentaro, you stop it right now.” You said coming to a full stop making him face you. “I will never get tired of you, okay? If other people wanna talk about us then let them. They don’t know you like I do. I know you’ll never treat me like shit because you never have and you never will. I have full trust in you and I hope you trust me too. Understand?” You cupped his face as he nodded, “Good.” You said as you quickly pecked his lips and kept walking home.

It’s been nearly a year since you started dating Kyontani and you were panicking because you weren’t sure if you were doing anything for your one year anniversary. Sure you wanted to celebrate but you didn’t know if Kyotani wanted to do anything. You weren’t sure if he was going to get you anything and you weren’t sure if he was going to be mad or happy at the fact that you were getting him a gift. It’s all been so nerve wracking.

The past month or so you felt bad because you’d been picking up extra shifts at your dad’s restaurant to get more money to help pay for his gift, which meant that you were unintentionally avoiding Kyotani. He’d been questioning why you were taking extra shifts suddenly and you always just said that you just wanted to help your dad because he was short staffed.

You weren’t even sure what you were going to get him, you had an idea but you weren’t sure if you wanted to follow through with it or go with something different. You had a week before your one year was coming up and you decided to just follow through with it. You were on the phone with the people who would be preparing your gift when Kyotani rounded the corner and waved at you. In a state of panic that he would find out you turned around and quickly walked in the opposite direction.

You finished up your call and went to find Kyotani, kinda feeling bad that you just avoided him like that. You walked over to your guys’ usual spot, sulking, not that he would ever admit it. “Hey sorry about that, it was an important call.” You said sitting down next to your boyfriend, who moved his hand away when you tried to hold it.

“Who was it?” He grumbled still refusing to look at you. “It was just my dad, he was letting me know that he probably wouldn’t be home for dinner tonight.” What you said wasn’t necessarily a lie, your dad did text you earlier to let you know that he had to cater a party tonight so he wouldn’t be home until later. You were a terrible liar and you figured it’d be easier to lie if it was only a half lie.

Two days later and the company called you back confirming your order and what you wanted. They called while you were hanging out with Kyotani at your house, you quickly excused yourself and went outside to the back to take the call. Kyotani looked at your dad who just shrugged in response. When you came back Kyotani asked who called, you said no one important and he left it at that.

It was two days before your anniversary and you were telling Kyotani that you had to pick something up after school. “I can come with you, I don’t mind.” He offered. Sometimes you really hated that he was sweet and considerate sometimes.

“You can’t come with, sorry ‘Taro.” You watched as he sighed and looked annoyed before asking why not. “You just can't, okay, I can’t explain it right now but you can’t come with.” You couldn’t find an excuse as to why he couldn’t come with you so you just tried to deny him gently. You could tell he was getting frustrated and upset with you and you were glad that you’d be able to give him his gift soon so you could stop being secretive. You knew you could’ve just told him now but you really wanted it to be a surprise.

“You’ve been so secretive lately and it’s getting really fucking annoying and frustrating.” He said as he shook his head. “I know and I’m really sorry, but can you just trust me?” You asked and he sighed deeply before agreeing. You gave him a peck on the cheek before telling him thank you and that you’d text him later when you were home.

It was the day before you’d give Kyotani his gift and you texted him saying that you were going to school early and that you’d just meet him there when you both usually got there. You knew the third years on the team practiced in the gym before school started and you wanted to get their opinions on the gift. You were talking about it with them before you decided on it so you wanted their final approval. Sure they weren’t friends with Kyotani but they spent the most time with him other than yourself of course. Besides who better to get advice on a custom volleyball than some volleyball players themselves?

You were in the middle of talking about the price, because Oikawa was considering getting one, when the door to the gym opened with a slam. You spun around quickly hiding the volleyball behind your back when you saw it was Kyotani. You were about to greet him when he started talking and angrily marching towards where you guys stood.

“I fuckin knew you were doing some shit behind my back.” He nearly screamed at you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion as you tried to talk but was immediately cut off before you could even start. “I mean how long did you think this whole secretive “trust me” bullshit would last? Someone told me you were cheating on me with one of the third years and I didn’t believe them because you were always spouting off with that “Do you trust me?” shit. I should’ve known better than to trust you, or anyone for that matter.”

You looked down at your feet as your eyes started to water, not wanting Kyotani to see you cry. Iwaizumi tried talking to him but was quickly yelled at, accused of being the one you were cheating on him with. Iwaizumi and Kyotani were in the middle of a yelling match when you interrupted them, shoving the ball into Kyotani’s chest who caught it before it fell to the ground.

“I was trying to get you a gift you asshole!” You screamed back at him. He examined the gift before looking back at you and opening his mouth before closing it again, trying to find something to say. “Save it you dick, I don’t wanna hear it. It’s easier to have people hate you than to try and get everyone to like you right? Mission accomplished, everyone officially hates you now.” You said with tears streaming down your face. You exited the gym before he could say anything and went home for the day. You texted your dad and asked if he would call the school and let them know you were sick, he agreed and asked what was wrong but you just said you’d explain when you got home.

Kyotani was staring at your gift after you left with furrowed eyebrows, and it was like it was staring back, mocking him. He looked up when Oikawa started to speak, “You know Y/n-chan worked very hard to get that for you.” He said with his arms crossed. “Yeah they worked hard at their dad’s restaurant to be able to get the money to buy that. It wasn’t cheap, they said it was about 14 thousand yen?” Matsukawa asked Hanamaki who nodded. “Yeah and they asked us for advice on what kind of volleyballs we use and what brand we think are the best. They really put a lot of thought into this gift.” Hanamaki continued to lecture Kyotani before Iwaizumi spoke up about the situation.

“Seriously you fucked up. They told you to trust them and you said you did. Then the first person that comes along and says “oh hey y/n’s cheating on you” you choose to believe that person instead of your partner who’s been by your side since what? Second year of middle school? You’re an idiot and you need to fix this because they may have said they hate you but I know that’s not true. So go fix it before they actually hate you.” When Iwaizumi was done scolding Kyotani he took off running to your house, not caring if he missed school.

He got to your house and knocked on the door, he was surprised when your dad answered the door and immediately closed it. He knocked again hoping your dad would open the door for him and he does, only to tell him to go away and close the door again. He desperately knocked again and when your dad opened the door this time he just sighed and said “What do you want?”

“Can I please talk to Y/n? I really messed up and I realize that now, it’s just everyone’s constantly telling me they’re going to leave me one day and I got scared that it was happening. I just want to make this right.” Kyotani practically begged and your dad just stared at him before saying “no” and closing the door again.

You looked at your dad from the couch after he closed the door and he sighed as he turned to you, “He sounds like he’s sorry and he means it, but I’d make him sweat it out before you talk to him. It’s up to you though kid.” With that he walked away to the kitchen to make you guys lunch. You thought about it for a second before deciding you’d do what your dad said and let him “sweat it out” as he said.

You and your dad spent the day watching movies and baking treats to take your mind off of things. It was after supper and you were helping your dad with the dishes when you glanced out of the window and saw Kyotani still sitting outside your door. You gasped which caused your dad to look outside as well. When your dad saw what you gasped at he chuckled at the sight, “Well he’s dedicated that’s for sure. I say go talk to him, I can handle the dishes by myself.”

You sighed as you mentally prepared yourself to talk to Kyotani and walked outside. He looked surprised as you sat down next to him but didn’t say anything. “I’m sorry.” He said after a minute passed. You scoffed in response, folding your arms over your knees and resting your head on your arms, facing away from him. “I was an idiot, I know. I feel really really bad, believe me I do. Everyone’s telling me that you’re too good for me and you’re going to leave me-”

“I know.” You said cutting him off, “I heard you tell it to my dad. I just wanna know why you didn’t trust me enough to not believe them. I don’t care about what other people think, Kyotani.” He winced as you called him by his last name rather than his given name. “I really care about you Kyotani, but you really hurt my feelings. I tell you constantly that I’m not just going to up and leave you because I know you’re different from what everyone else sees. Then you went and treated me like I was everyone else. You pushed me away.”

“I won’t do it again Y/n, I promise.” He pleaded. “Yeah but I don’t know that Kentaro.” You already made up your mind to give him one last chance, you just wanted to hear what he had to say. “But I do, I swear I won’t. Please, I don’t want to lose you. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me and I really don’t want to lose you.”

“Fine, I’ll give you one last chance. If something like this happens again I’m not giving you a third chance. You have to fully trust me and communicate with me. Don’t just assume because the first person you saw told you something that’s not true. Okay?” You finally turned your head to look at Kyotani and it looked like he was about to cry.

He nodded in agreement, “I promise I’ll trust you and talk to you if I have any doubts, which I won’t.” You gave him a soft smile and pulled him into a hug. “I love you Y/n.” He said as he nuzzled his head into your neck. “I love you too ‘Taro.”

#kyotani x reader #kyotani imagine #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu imagine #haikyu x reader #haikyuu kyoutani #haikyuu!!#haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu angst #kyotani angst #kyotani x y/n #haikyuu kyotani #kyotani fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you

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novamirmirsblog · 3 years

Text

Favourite crime pt 2

Natasha Romanoff x reader

Word Count: 2936

Genre: angsty fluff? or fluffy angst 👀

Request: yes

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, slight coercion into sex (it doesn't happen tho)

Part 1 is here

A/n: The long awaited part two is officially here. I had lots of people who wanted the reader to move on, people who wanted them to get back together and people who wanted both. Thank you everyone for your INDECISIVENESS (kidding. ily). Also Emma was a randomly generated name - I'm sorry :3

Did I write this fic instead of sleeping? Yes. I have no regrets.

It had been a year since you moved back home. The seasons had come and gone and with that, so had your thoughts of Natasha. The same could not be said for the assassin. She had spent a blissful 3 months with Bruce before he had dropped off the face of the Earth and she was missing you. By the 5th month, she had stopped moping about and tried to find you. She searched everywhere but your town was large and unfamiliar and you didn’t want to be found.

Natasha both regretted what she had said and didn't. She regretted it because she realised just how much she adored you once she saw all the areas Bruce fell short in. You knew her better than she sometimes knew herself. You knew when to back off and when to put pressure on. You knew when she needed control and when you needed to take control. You knew when she wanted ice cream or when she wanted brownies. Bruce didn't. However, a part of her didn't regret those nasty things she said because she really didn't deserve you. You were everything she wasn’t, and she didn't know how to measure up to you.

She never voiced these concerns and so they festered and grew until she believed the only way out was to cheat. She knew that was the only thing that could drive you away. Natasha had told you all about her past, how she believed the Red Room had stripped her of her humanity – of her choice whether to become a mother. She knew there were other ways to have children - of course there were, but she hated the fact they had taken that option from her.

You were not like Natasha. You voiced your concerns which is why she knew exactly what to say and do to get you to hate her. Your previous boyfriend had cheated on you with your once best friend. You had watched as your father cheated on your mother and how that made her a hollow shell for a while, her never understanding why the man she loved could hurt her in that way. Supposedly, everyone models their future relationships on what their parents’ relationship looked like. Perhaps that’s why you kept choosing the cheaters. You were content with where you were. You had a forest, a busy town, and a beach all within a 15-mile radius of your house. You were far enough from civilisation that you could forget about reality for a while but close enough to occasionally dip back in whenever you wanted to.

You had kept in contact with Tony and Pepper, congratulating them on the arrival of Morgan and insisting that they should visit. You also continued to occasionally talk to Wanda when Carol was off world. Carol was overjoyed when she found out you had started dating someone new.

You had met Emma when you were taking a dip back into reality at the local supermarket. Her blonde hair vaguely reminded you of a woman you used to know, and you guessed that’s why you felt drawn to her. It wasn’t the electrical crackle that stole your breath away like your first meeting with Natasha, but it was something. Emma could occasionally be a little controlling, but you guessed that’s what normal relationships were like. She didn’t like you going to bars or pubs anymore and you certainly weren’t allowed in any clubs. You didn’t mind it too much as you hardly minded giving up a few nights out if it meant you could have something that resembled normalcy.

“Who’s that?” Emma asked, your face illuminated from your phone as the ding rang out.

“A friend. He’s bringing his wife and new baby over tomorrow and was reminding me to baby-proof the house.” You smiled lightly as you texted Tony back. You hadn’t mentioned to Emma that you were an ex-avenger, but it just kept slipping your mind.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Who is he? Where will he be staying?”

“I just forgot. Sorry. He’ll be staying here.”

“But you only have a single bed.”

“Yeah. I was planning to sleep on that and Tony, Pepper and the baby can stay in my room.”

“You mean our room.”

You said nothing, too engrossed in arguing with Tony about how under no circumstances will there be any celery in your house. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

“Our room, right Y/n?”

“Um yeah.” You wave her off was apparently your second mistake, but you didn’t multi-task too well and so half answers were all you were good for while texting.

“I have been your girlfriend for 3 months Y/n. The least you could do is answer me properly and tell me what’s going on in your life.” She huffed, pushing your feet from her lap, and turning to face away from you, all of which you missed. You really weren’t having that evil green vegetable in your house.

“Seriously, what is even so important that you’re ignoring me right now!” Emma’s voice cut through the fog, and you looked at her with a blank expression. It was times like these that you really missed Na- No. You refused to go there. You didn’t miss her. You were over her.

“No celery.”

Emma threw her hands up in the air. “You seriously don’t see what’s wrong, do you?”

“No.” You tilted your head, confused at what your girlfriend was talking about.

“Well, I’m not just going to tell you! Jesus. You should know. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Emma stood up in a huff, making a lot of noise while getting ready to leave.

“Okay – bye” Your attention was bought back to the phone when Tony sent you a cute video of Morgan crawling about, probably as a bribe to get you to buy celery. You stood, watching the video a few times before you shut off your phone, finally getting around to babyproofing your house.

~~~~~

Babyproofing a house was a lot more work than you originally thought. You had spent most the night picking sharp objects up from baby-height areas and making sure you hadn’t left any weapons about. All the guns taped under tables had to be relocated and you found enough change to set you up for retirement. You just hoped and prayed there were no small beads for Morgan to choke on. You didn’t even get around to putting soft corners on the edges of tables and counter tops, but you told yourself that it was survival of the fittest at that point. The whole endeavour had taken most the night which is how you found yourself with only an hour till Tony, Pepper and Morgan arrived.

There was a knock on the door, and you saw that you were 15 minutes late. Luckily your girlfriend had arrived half an hour before so you figured she could let them in. You shouted down, telling her to get the door as you finished putting on your socks.

“Hiya baby!” You cooed at Morgan babbling in Pepper’s arms, watching as her chubby hands reached for your hair, grabbing on with a crazy amount of strength. “Oh my god you’re strong. Pep, are you sure she’s Tony’s? I’m pretty sure she’s as strong as Thor.” You laughed, looking over at Tony. Your face dropped into careful neutrality as you saw the redhead standing behind him.

“Of course she’s mine doofus. We had multiple paternity tests.” Tony winked.

You didn’t know what to do. You weren’t ready. Your throat went dry as you asked if anyone wanted any drinks, your girlfriend waving them into the living room. You prepared the drinks, and you felt a presence behind you, wrapping their arms around your waist, their head resting on your back. You hated it. You felt suffocated. You took a breath and handed half the drinks to Emma, opting to grab a wine glass and fill it with the wine you had been saving for a special occasion. It might not have been a special occasion, but you needed something strong to get though the next few hours and you knew this would do the job.

You made your way back into the living room and Tony gestured to Emma “I don’t think we’ve met yet.”

“I’m Emma.”

“Tony. This is Pepper, Morgan and Natasha.” Your heart dropped at the mention of her name, realising that she wasn’t some cruel hallucination but was in fact standing in your living room.

“Sorry. I forgot to introduce you all.” You smiled and took another large swig from your glass.

“Hey how come you’re the only one with alcohol?”

“Because you’re a parent now.” You rolled your eyes at Tony, feeling Natasha stare holes into your face.

“So I need it even more!” Pepper hit Tony as he said that, causing Morgan to laugh.

“Don’t worry about Y/n getting drunk, she can handle her alcohol pretty well.”

“We know.” Natasha finally spoke. Her voice bought back floods of memories and you realised you missed her voice – just the tiniest amount. “Who exactly are you to Y/n?” To anyone else, the question was flippant, like asking about the weather but you, Tony and Pepper could all hear the carefully laced venom within her words and while the question sounded like it was aimed at your girlfriend, you could tell she was speaking to you.

“Where’s Bruce this fine day?” You shot back, not letting Emma speak.

“My question first.” Natasha finally turned her gaze to focus on you.

“Why are you here?” You felt Emma’s arm slither possessively around your waist. Perhaps if it had been another day, you would have appreciated it but right now, you felt like you were drowning. She held you too tight, you couldn’t move.

“Ah.” Natasha wore a smug look on her face and yet her eyes flashed with hurt. You hated that she had found out information you weren’t willing to give.

“Why are you here Agent Romanoff.” You wanted- no needed her to answer you. You needed to know why she came to you. Then you looked at Tony. “Why would you bring her here?” Your voice was level, Morgan was pulling at your leg to get you to pick her up. You used that as an excuse to escape your girlfriend’s grip.

“We need you back.”

“So you bring your baby to try and bribe me back?” You ran a hand through your hair, lightly bouncing Morgan. “That I can understand but why bring her?” You waved at Natasha, feeling both her and Emma’s eyes bore into you.

“She’s part of the team too and you both need to get on.” Pepper said.

“You were in on this too?” Your throat felt tight. You couldn’t breathe properly.

“I’m sorry but who exactly are you?” Emma asked. Natasha scoffed at her, folding her arms, and rolling her eyes.

Everything was a little too loud and muffled. It felt as if you were underwater. The sun was too bright, and it made everything a little too hard to look at. You could see your furniture, but it wouldn’t stay in your brain long enough for you to fully register it. You placed Morgan on the sofa and took a deep breath, closing your eyes to focus. When you opened them again you looked straight at Natasha.

“I am not going to play nice with you. You broke me and now that I’m moving on you suddenly decide to show up? No. I don’t believe it. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Leave me alone. Besides, I thought I was a ‘fun little distraction’.” You spat at Natasha. You were tired of being the bigger person. She had hurt you and you wanted to watch her bleed. It’s why you leant over and kissed Emma harshly, why you let out a slight moan so Natasha could hear. It didn’t matter that it was completely fake because even though you knew you should feel satisfaction at Natasha’s hurt face, the twinge of sadness upset you more than you would have liked.

Natasha knew the kiss was forced. She knew it was, but it didn’t stop the knife digging deeper into her heart. You had moved on and she had to respect that. She had said some awful things to you, and you really did deserve someone much better than her. You stormed out of the house, saying that you were going for a walk, leaving your girlfriend to entertain your guests.

~~~~~

It was dark by the time you got back. You saw Natasha on the sofa and ignored her as you walked straight to the guest bedroom. All you wanted to do was curl up and sleep this horrible day into the past but unfortunately for you, you had a girlfriend sitting on the bed.

“This bed isn’t big enough for-” Emma cut you off with a rough kiss. “Emma not now-”

“Yes now. I want to remind your ex what she’s missing.” Emma went back to kissing you and you wanted to cry. You didn’t like her possessiveness, didn’t like her jealousy. With Natasha that had been fun but with Emma, it made you feel afraid.

“Emma seriously.” You grabbed her wrist, not letting her reach into your underwear.

Emma huffed and stepped back. “What’s your problem?”

“I’m really tired. Can’t we just sleep?”

“It’s your ex, isn’t it? Why is she even here? I can’t believe you were going to just let her stay here and not tell me!”

“I didn’t know she was coming!” You were both stage whispering, conscious of the fact there was a baby that most likely didn’t sleep all that often.

“Then kick her out!”

You said nothing. You couldn’t just kick her out. That wouldn’t be fair.

“Oh my god you still love her. You still love her and she’s in love with someone else. Or she was. Ha.” Emma let out a bark of laughter. “That’s so fucking rich. You know what, crawl back to her but don’t come crying to me when she fucks you over again do you hear me?”

“Emma that’s not- I don’t love her anymore. I hate her. She ruined my life.”

“You truly hate her?” You nodded at her. “Supposedly, you can only truly hate someone if you loved them first. We’re done Y/n”

“Seriously?! What? Because I used to love Natasha? Because I don’t want to have sex with you? Grow up Emma. I’ve loved people before you and at this rate, I’ll love people after you too. I’m tired. I don’t have to have sex with you. You can’t make me.”

“I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to want to have sex with me!”

“Well not when I’ve had a long ass day!”

“Guys, I think you might wake Morgan.” You winced a little at the addition of Natasha. You knew this was going to end badly.

“This is my fucking house!” Emma said, not lowering her tone.

“Actually, it’s Y/n’s.” Natasha calmly stated. She really wasn’t going to rise to the bait.

Your girl- sorry- ex-girlfriend, fumed next to you. “You know what? Have her. She’s so screwed over from whatever you pulled that I don’t think she can love anyone ever again anyway.” Emma seethed, grabbing her shoes, and slamming the door on the way out. The sound of baby Morgan crying echoed through the house.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” You ran your hand over your face, the exhaustion of the whole day catching up with you.

“No, it’s not. I betrayed your trust over the one thing I knew you couldn’t tolerate. I knew how hurtful cheating is to you and I did it anyway. I know it’s not an excuse, but I guess I just felt like you deserved someone more than me. Someone better.”

You said nothing. You were so so tired. You missed her and it ached, but you couldn’t forget what she had done. “I can’t trust you anymore.”

“I know but please let me try again. Bruce wasn’t worth it. He only made me realise how much I love you.” Tears were filling up Natasha’s beautiful eyes and you could see just how tired she looked.

“I missed you.” You whispered out, not wanting to break whatever was being formed

“I missed you too. So so much.”

“I can’t forgive you. Not yet, but…you can have one more chance Natasha. That’s it. You get one chance at my forgiveness.”

“Okay!” Natasha sniffled slightly “I promise I won’t mess this up.”

“I’m serious Natasha. One chance. I don’t play baseball. There are no three strikes.”

Natasha gingerly reached up to cup your face. “I won’t waste this.”

“Good because I never really stopped loving you and I’d hate to be a simp.”

“I think it’s a little too late for that dove.” Natasha let out a watery laugh.

“Excuse me?” You let out a fake gasp and wiped some of the tears from her cheeks.

“It’s okay, I’ll tell you a secret.” Natasha ushered you to lean closer and you did, she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear and whispered, “I’ve been whipped for you for as long as I can remember.”

You were looking forward to all the ways Natasha was going to make it up to you and hopefully, you’d get to give Bruce a good punch too. You both knew it was going to be a long road ahead but you both felt a little more ready for what lies next.

#natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha x you #natasha romanov x reader #natasha x y/n #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #natasha x reader #Tony stark #natasha mcu #mcu imagine #natasha imagine #natasha romanoff imagines #natalia alianovna romanova #pepper potts

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quirkless-accident · 3 years

Note

Somehow I can see Todoroki have a conspiracy theory where Phantom and Elle are his lost family/ cousin from his mother side.

Shoto Todoroki knows three things to be true.

1. His dad is a douche bag.

2. Izuku Midoriya is most definitely All Might's secret love child. (In that same vein, Shinso Hitoshi and Eraserhead may also be related).

3. He himself might be related to the Phantoms.

He hadn't really thought much about it. Not until he had been on a patrol during his work study with Phantom instead of Endeavour because he had been severely injured in his last fight.

He had high a high respect for his astronomy teacher and his niece (daughter? Sister?) but it became even more apparent when he worked with them.

Phantom and Spirit were nothing like he was. They were both loud, overzealous, confident in their abilities to help people. And while Shoto had the ability and enough confidence to do his job, he felt like he was behind. There wasn't really anyway he could explain it.

But in the few weeks he's been patrolling with them, laughter and jokes have come easier. Teasing Elle is almost like second nature, and when Phantom asks if he wants to join them for dinner, he slips into their lives seamlessly.

It's at one of these dinners where shit hits the fan mentally for Shoto. Phantom-Danny, in his own home-mentions that he hasn't seen Rei Todoroki in quite some time, and asks Shoto how she's doing.

He doesn't remember the answer he gives. His mind is to busy trying not to go into overdrive. How did his teacher know his mom? His mother, who hasn't been outside of the hospital in ten years, and had been kept away by Endeavor for longer?

But then something clicks.

White hair.

Ice powers.

Cold to the touch, even in the hottest of summers.

The easy way their laughs can brighten up a whole room.

Was he...Related in some way to the Phantoms?

It wouldn't be to out of the question. He knows his mother made frequent phone calls to a distant cousin of hers. How old was Danny? He was in the same graduating class as Aizawa, putting him at about thirty. He would have been around nineteen or twenty when his mother was frequently on the phone, right before she got sent to the hospital. Had his mother burdened his teacher with her home life? Something Endeavour made her swear not to talk about to anybody that wasn't blood related?

"...to? Shoto, you okay?"

Shoto blinks back to reality. Danny is looking at him with a concern that makes Shoto's chest tight. Danny doesn't have grey eyes like his mother. He has bright blue eyes, but they're not quite like his father's. Despite having an ice quirk, his eyes are much warmer, more inviting. The only warmth in his father's eyes is his burning resentment for Shoto not surpassing All Might before he's even out of high school.

They're not grey like his mother's, but they're warm in all the same ways.

Danny's brow is furrowed with something like worry, and he's seen that expression on his mother's face too many times to count. And if he looks past the chiseled jaw of his teacher, he can see a bit of softness in his cheeks, in the same shape as his mothers.

"Are you related to my mom?" He blurts out before he can stop himself.

Danny's eyebrows are pulled up, disappearing under his bangs. He doesn't look like he's judging him, per se, but rather he's trying to figure out Shoto's train of thought. Elle's shoulders are shaking slightly, with barely-hidden laughter, but he doesn't let his eyes waver from Danny's. His teacher gives him a smile. Shoto has no idea what kind of emotion is holds.

"No, kid. Rei was a friend of my mom's back in the day, that's all." Danny looked almost sad as he spoke. "I remember I had just started my second year at U.A. when Rei dropped off the grid after she met Endeavour. I hadn't thought much about it at the time, though. I had been preoccupied with other matters at the time."

What Shoto doesn't know is Danny was still trying to control his newfound powers. And he had been trying to control his emotions. Especially after Oboro's death. But Shoto doesn't need to hear any of that, so he doesn't say anything.

"If you want though, you're more than welcome here."

Shoto just nods as Danny gives him an easy smile. He's not fully convinced.

Maybe he can ask his mother next time he visits her.

-----

sorry this took a bit longer, I've just been very emotionally exhausted the past few days and needed to recharge

#danny phantom #danny fenton #dani phantom #dp #mha #shoto todoroki #todoroki #endeavour #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

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anywherebuthere · 4 years

Text

I had a dream about you last night || j.p.

James Potter x fem!reader

“Even when you’re gone, you are all that haunts my dreams.”

Wordcount: 1969

A/N: Happy (belated) birthday to the only man ever <33 I am illiterate, so I had a mental breakdown writing this <3 please enjoy!! special thanks to @anchoeritic and @gxtitobxby for supporting me via discord and for making fun of the time I got hit by a car :)) @skullsontess07 I finally posted it pls don’t hurt me <33

Warnings: alcohol, allusions to sex, death, bad writing, especially towards the end. barely proofread because I don’t believe in mistakes <3 /j

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it by my doing.

The ticking of the grandfather clock thrummed in James’ ears as he tipped back the empty bottle, the smell of whiskey heavy in the air. He leaned his head against the cold surface of the white plaster wall, scanning the textured ceiling with misty eyes. His home, still half furnished, was riddled with traces of something better forgotten. Even with the weight of alcohol on his breath, his mind is running with memories and daydreams of her.

He closed his eyes, forcing the imagery away. In the distance, a train chugged on, its lone whistle echoing in the night, and James can’t help but be pulled into an uneasy slumber, memories still flashing through his mind like a broken film.

“Prongs, you git! We’re going to miss the train if you don’t hurry your fat arse.” Remus shouted, frustration seeping into his humoured voice.

“Relax Moony, we’ll be fine,” he replied, breath heaving slightly from sprinting across Platform 9¾, just narrowly having avoided knocking over an elderly witch.

As the four boys approached the entrance of the cart, the train’s departing whistle blared. They boarded quickly, though not without receiving a glare from a crew member.

Hurrying down the corridor, the boys glanced through every compartment window, though each appeared to be full of giggling sixth years. That is, with the exception of one.

Near the back end of the Hogwarts Express, was, at last, an empty compartment save for a singular figure slumped against the window. With no other choice of seating, the gaggle of boys slipped in silently, Sirius and Remus snagging the seats opposite to the slumbering girl, their pinkies linked as they whispered conspiratorially amongst themselves.

Peter, as adverse to the female race as ever, took the seat closest to the door, leaving James to be wedged between the mousy blonde and the stranger, careful not to bump her with his broad shoulders.

The train ride was filled with hushed whispers as the marauders discussed this year's prank for the welcoming feast, a customary tradition they held sacred, as to “start the year right.”

As they began going over the mechanisms of their plan, they felt the train begin to swerve as it approached a sharp turn. The compartment shook slightly and James suddenly felt a weight on his right side.

He stiffened, glancing over to see that the girl’s head had lulled over from the compartment wall and onto his shoulder. James recognized her as a student in their year. Y/N, who had tutored Regulus the same day that James had helped Sirius prank him as petty revenge for a now long-forgotten argument.

And well, perhaps James had wanted her to notice him for once. If so, it had been a successful endeavour as he remembered the way her face had contorted in anger, though her attention had remained just as elusive for the remainder of their fifth year. So… perhaps not so successful.

He flushed at the memory. She was now even prettier than the year prior.

“Oh? Is that a blush we see, Moony?” Sirius taunted, nudging Remus with his elbow as he snickered at James’ scowl.

“Bloody hell, piss off, will you? You’ll wake her–”

He felt her suddenly stir beside him, brows creasing as though on the cusp of consciousness.

James held his breath.

The moment passed as Y/N nudged her face further into the crook of his neck before settling back into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps he wouldn’t need the prank to start the year right this time around.

It seemed that sixth year would be a good one for James.

In the early morning of a mid-March day, an unlikely scene unfolded between the shelves of Hogwarts’ library. There he sat beside a bleary Y/N, voice still drowsy with sleep as she read aloud a passage from the Herbology textbook perched between them.

Initially, James had detested the thought of having to wake up at such an ungodly hour for the sake of a project. No other time had fit, not with his Quidditch practices and her absurd number of tutoring sessions.

Though now, as the early rays of sunrise filtered through the library’s mullioned windows onto her skin, James thinks that there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He thinks this moment will be ingrained in his mind forever.

“–once a century, the Flutterby bush produces flowers able to attract the unwary.” she paused to yawn, eyebags evident as she turned to meet James’ gaze. She scrunched her nose and he swore he swooned at the very sight. “Are you even listening to me, Potter?”

“I’m always listening to you,” he replied, tilting his head. She grins in response and he notices just how beautiful it is.

She shifted her gaze back to the textbook lying in their laps, picking up where she had left off.

“Its scent adapts–”

James leaned forward suddenly, capturing her lips in his. The book fell closed between them.

Immediately, almost though by instinct, Y/N reciprocates, moving her lips gently against his as her hand cups his cheek. James finds himself gripping that hand as his other wraps around her waist, finding the small of her back and pulling her impossibly close against him.

She tasted of cherry chapstick and peppermint bubblegum, and though there was nothing particularly special about those flavours, on her, James swears that he could drown in his intoxication alone. Her perfume wafts through the air, the scent causing him to groan against her mouth.

When they separated at last, his head was swimming in euphoria, his expression dazed. Y/N blinked up at him, sleep wiped entirely from her expression.

“Its scent adapts itself during these times to attract said unwary.” she finishes, sounding breathless still, voice trailing off as James began to laugh hysterically.

She rolled her eyes, smiling sheepishly.

When James still couldn’t stop laughing, Y/N gripped his haphazardly tied red and gold tie, using it to pull his soft lips against hers once more and he was sure in his mind that there would no one else for him.

Beneath a great oak tree in the courtyard lay two figures. Under the tree’s twisting branches, they hid in its cool shade from the sweltering afternoon sun. Few places aside from the castle offered shelter from June’s blistering heat and as the semester approached its end, they finally allowed themselves to rest in the gentle breeze.

James was leaning against the thick trunk while Y/N’s head lay in his lap. His elbow was resting on her abdomen as she drew on his hand, doodling intricate flower designs alongside some… less desirable things.

He felt his heart swell with joy as her laughter filled the summer air and before he could catch himself, he blurted out the thought that had been weighing in the back of his mind since they had started dating.

“Do you ever think about your future?"

He felt the scratch of her muggle pen slow, as though pausing in thought.

"I want to grow old and die surrounded with people I love, knowing I lived a long and fulfilling life. You know, typical boring stuff," she replied after a moment's consideration. Her eyes twinkled with more, though Y/N never indulged in half-thought-out plans.

"What about you?" she questioned with the tip of her head. James didn’t need time to think about it. He had known his answer since that fateful September morning when she had slept on his shoulder throughout the entirety of the train ride.

"I don't care what my future is as long as you're there" he answers truthfully.

Y/N flushed, her ears heated. She looked away, the corners of her lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile.

James freed his hand from her loose grasp, hooking her chin to look back towards him before leaning in to kiss her.

Even after all these months, he relished in the taste of her lips. He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of the feeling.

He doubts he’ll ever be able to get enough of her.

The sun was setting in the west on a quiet evening, its golden rays shining on the slick skin of two lovers as they untangled themselves from the sheets, unable to hold in their laughter when one got his foot stuck in the knot of their crochet blanket.

The air hung heavy with the scent of sweat and endorphins as Y/N laid back, her body still bare, not bothering to cover it.

James propped his elbow beside her head, careful not to press on her spread-out hair, his face filled with ecstasy and pure bliss.

He will never get used to the sight of her in his bed, giggling as the sun reflected off her silky skin. The image of her underneath him is cemented in his mind, permanently lodged there as solid as concrete. He knows now with absolute certainty that there would be no one else for him.

James’ smile widened further as he nudged his nose into the crook of her neck, leaning in to place a kiss there when his vision blurred.

It was no longer sunset. Rather, the two of them were now enveloped in the dark of night and James is certain he hears the echo of a familiar spell ring off in the distance.

He pulls away from Y/N’s neck.

She was no longer shaking with laughter, but rather, writhing in pain. There were lacerations all across her torso and James felt something sticky underneath his hands.

They were laying in a pool of her blood.

Panic clawed at his throat and though he had never been averse to the sight of blood, yours was an exception. The taste of bile clung to his tongue.

“No... No no no no no,” he whispered in disbelief. Swivelling his head, outside the window, he spots a cloaked figure wearing a mask of silver disapparate.

“No!”

Grasping for the wand strapped to his side, he murmurs a healing spell, gasping for breath when the wounds remain open. His head was spiralling as Y/N shook her head almost imperceptibly, grabbing at his wrist with a shaking hand.

Carved into her arm was the word “MUDBLOOD” and James felt his vision turn red, suddenly hyper-aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

“James…” she rasped. He gripped her shaking hand.

“Why isn’t it working? Why?” he cried, tears streaming down his face, struggling to breathe.

“Whatever our souls are made of,” she gasped, blood spurting out of her mouth. Her beautiful mouth, the one that tasted of cherries and peppermint, was covered in thick, crimson blood. “you and I are connected.”

“No! Stop with this rubbish, you’re not going to die!” he sobbed, gripping her bloodied hand like a vice. She continued as though he hadn’t even spoken.

Perhaps she was too far gone to hear him.

“Wh-whatever is beyond this life,” violent ruby coated her mouth as she coughed, blood splattering onto her smooth skin. “Promise me, y-you’ll find me again.”

“I promise,” he cried, sobs racking through his body.

But she was already gone.

James woke with a start, gasping for breath with the taste of blood and “promise” still coating his tongue. He was alone in a house built for two.

In his fitful sleep, he had knocked over the empty bottle of whiskey beside him.

She had hated whiskey.

Had.

A fresh wave of misery washed over James, adding to the dull pain that never seemed to go away, throbbing through him as naturally as the blood in his veins. It wasn’t enough that she existed still within every corner of their shared home.

Even in his dreams, he is haunted by her memory.

ㄧ

@catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter angst #james potter fluff #harry potter imagine #james potter fic #james potter x reader angst #james potter x reader fluff #james potter x muggleborn #james potter x muggleborn reader #caz's top notch fic recs

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nad-zeta · 2 years

Text

MOTONARI- Serendipity

Fandom- ikesen

Words-1100

EEEEEEP🍾🍾🍾🙈🎼happppy birthday to you🍾🍹happpy birthday to you🎼🎼🥁🥁 happy birthday dear neeeemooo🎼🎼🔥🔥🥁 happy birthday to you🍹🎼🍾🥁😍😳😳 hehehe@readerinsertfanfiction annd the bday bash continues 🔥🔥🔥❤️❤️❤️🤩🤩😍😍☺️☺️🎂 letsssss goooooooo❤️❤️🎂🤩🤩🎂🎵🎵

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

"If i add perfume to my ankle maybe that damn mutt will stop mauling them as if they are the last bit of food on earth," you pondered rushing through the park gate to take a familiar shortcut to work. You were already beyond late, no thanks to your lack of self control on this particularly biting morning.

On your usual route through the markets you honest to god couldn't help yourself, not when that all too divine, all too chocolatey aroma tickled your senses. Nor when the shop owner announced that she had just taken a full tray of freshly baked croissants from the oven. Curse your weak will and curse croissants for adding to the waistline.

Neither the less you were rushing and dreading the pipsqueak pain in your ass, who you knew would be waiting at the office doors. "Perhaps tiger balm would be strong enough to deter-" the train came to a screeching halt all at once when your once clean crisp white silk shirt now seeped with the hot liquid.

"Foda-se! Watch where yer going!" The tall stranger barked out at you.

"You were the one that slammed into me'" you met the strangers tone head one, talking over him as you frantically searched your blazer pockets for a napkin, tissue, will to live, anything honestly that would get the stain out before your meeting.

"Better check those head flowers of yours. Yer sprouting such nonsense." He stood tall, with folded arms and domineering posture, completely and utterly unimpressed. But neither were you! Afterall he was the one that appeared like Hoodini

Despite the clear height imbalances you met the man's gaze head on. Fueled only by the morning's empty carbs and irritation you were ready to throw hands, when your colleague-

— bless her soul for having the best and worst timing— spotted you from across the park and pretty much sprinted to intervene. How she moved so quickly in those heels without breaking an ankle was completely beyond you, but she moved like a velociraptor across the terrain screeching at you with a gentle tugg. "Hey come on, you can chat with your handsome friend later, the meeting's about to start."

Handsome. HANDSOME. No man that refuses to acknowledge their wrong doings was handsome, no matter how smooth or attractive their voice.

"He is no friend of mine!" you announced loud enough so he could hear, sparing the silver haired stranger one more daggered glance before rushing into your morning meeting.

The next morning was as much of a whirlwind as the first. Curse your favourite coffee place for being so busy. With eyes glued to the phone screen while you endeavoured to type up a quick mail before stepping foot into the office. Some people truly had no boundaries, being bold enough to ruin your day before the sun was even fully above the horizon.

You didn't even know how it happened but all you know was, one moment your tea was balancing between chest and forearm and the next you were drenched, again, pulling the heated fabric from your skin and muttering an endless sea of swear words behind gritted teeth.

"Merda, look where-" the stranger's gruff words caught in his throat when eyes locked with yours and flashed with recognition, completely stilling in his movements. "Flower girl? If yer wanted an excuse to talk a man up yer just had to say so." You had not missed the way his grumpy scowl turned to smirk in an instant.

"As if! Don't go around flattering yourself." and before he could even dare to respond you trotted off to your first meeting of the day nose sharply in the air with no intentionof looking back. No doubt your colleague would take a jab at you for yet again entering the office with a stained shirt.

By the third run in you started to consider the possibility that you might have been cursed, although at least this run in was without spillage. So maybe only half curse?

Leaned up against the park railing— the tall dark brawny man stood, two paper cups beside him as he took a long drag from his cigarette. When your eyes met an unmistakable smirk befell his lips, much like the one you had caught a glimpse of the previous day. It spelled danger, mischief and warned not to get too close. But you were but a cat at heart and as the saying goes, curiosity saved the cat?, or was it killed? Either way you moved closer especially after he picked up one of the paper cups gesturing for you to take it. You didn't even have time to decide whether to accept the drink or not as Motonari simply pushed it into your hands.

You froze, mind silenced from tasks and to-do lists as you stared down at the cup in your hands.

It was littered with flower doodles and flower girl written in bold black ink, while his was littered in a school of nemo fish with Motonari written in bold and black.

"What's wrong m'lady, why yer standing there all slacked jawed? Cat got your tongue," he winked putting a small distance between the two of you before taking a sip of his own drink.

Soft whispers of the delicate osmanthus met your nose, bringing back memories of summer afternoons, pages slipping between fingertips and soft sounds of a distant wind chime.

"What is this?" your gaze finally shifted upwards to meet his. Despite the warmth filling your chest your words came out biting.

"I'd thought you would have pieced it together by now, but maybe you aren't quite as clever as I thought you were," he responded with a shit eating grin and tip of the chin.

You wanted to bite back with a scowl but no matter how hard you tried to school your features a wide smile broke free when you took your first sip, perhaps fate had a guiding hand in his drink selection because he had absolutely nailed it.

However the sweet and delicate drink did nothing to mask his rough brash demeanour," what ya grinning at? Creep," he leaned in closer, eyes shining with a childlike curiosity.

"The only creepy one here is you!" You responded with a pointed finger, smile fading away into irritation once more.

"Says the one who looked like she was about to gobble me up whole mere moments ago," the short burst of laughter left him as he turned on his heel.

Raising a nonchalant hand up in a single wave he shot you a final parting grin over his shoulder, "until next time flower girl."

And you wondered if fated hands would intervene again tomorrow.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #motonari fluff #ikemen sengoku motonari #mori motonari #motonari mouri #ikesen motonari #eeeeek #neeeemoooos bday #soooo excited 🔥🔥🔥🤩🤩

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laurore-stormwitch · 3 years

Text

BEWARE THERE ARE ROW SPOILERS IN THIS FAN FICTION

So, I did something. Rule of Wolves left me in tears. But I felt we were missing an epilogue, and that’s my take. We can see a little of Nikolai courting Zoya, his proposal and the wedding. I poured all my love into this, all of how much these characters mean to me. I hope it can bring comfort and a smile to all of you who love them as much. I don’t say it much, but this is one of the things I loved most writing, and I hope you’re gonna enjoy it. I send a big hug to whoever has taken this grishaverse wild ride word count: 4953 you are my endless summer - ao3

“Is this strictly necessary?”

Zoya asked, faking more annoyance than she felt. She wondered what kind of crazy idea had come to Nikolai’s mind this time, as she stumbled through the woods with a strip of cloth tied on her eyes. Nikolai was guiding her, holding her hand and her elbow to steady her through the fallen branches on the ground. He didn’t answer, but she could swear she could hear the smug smirk on his face.

“I already know where you’re taking me. You’ve kept me away from the garden for two months, I kind of figured out what you were doing.”

“How cunning you are. That’s why I love you.”

She nudged him on what she hoped was his stomach, eliciting a laugh from his side.

“Humour me Zoya, please. What kind of a surprise would it be if I let you see?”

“The kind where you don’t end up being a pile of smoking dust.”

Nikolai laughed again, a crystal-clear sound that made her heart twitch. The threat was not that far from the truth. Nikolai had been entertaining himself way too much with this idiotic courting thing he had decided to pursue. She thought back on when she believed she could have a quiet romance with him. A quiet romance with a man who has a double identity as a privateer and wears a ridiculous teal frock coat. Great thinking, Zoya.

The first hint of how much not quiet Nikolai was going to be had been the absurd deal of public flirting he engaged in, knowing damn well how Zoya was used to propriety. And bitter and ruthless words, at the very best. Not even under torture she would admit how endearing it had been instead; better to keep scolding him. However, as usual, Nikolai saw right through her pretence, caught the gleam of amusement and desire in her eyes. That had only made him become more daring and blatant. Nothing could compare for him to the satisfaction of leaving Zoya speechless. Zoya had tried to match his bold attitude, but she had to admit she was not half as good as him. To this day, he was still rubbing in her face the time where she had almost caused a diplomatic incident due to the shock of his shamelessness. He had just got back from a trip to Ketterdam, right after the coronation. They were waiting at the palace’s gates to meet with the Shu delegation, coming to pay their respect to the recently crowned queen. Nikolai had chosen the moment where their newly acquired allies were emerging from the carriages to lean into her ear to whisper, ignoring the fact that they were surrounded by soldiers and dignitaries, and not just Genya and Alina like last time; Nikolai loved an audience as much as he loved himself.

“I see you’ve resorted back to your kefta”, he had muttered in a casual tone.

Zoya had cut him a quick glare, saying something she would regret later. “Did you like the coronation dress better?”

“Oh no, not at all. If I remember correctly, I suggested you get out of that.” The Shu delegation was getting closer. Nikolai had lowered his voice even more, starting to smile at them. “I stand to my suggestion. There are several outfits I like better on you than a dress. Namely, your kefta, which I'm happy you got back.” She had kept her eyes trained in front of her, ignoring him. “Or the rough spun clothes you use when we are on the Volkvolny.” He had plucked a non-existent dust from his sleeve, keeping the nonchalant attitude of someone who was speaking about the weather. “Your nightdress, the one that looks like a starry night and has a shockingly small amount of fabric.” He had waved a hand in Ehri’s direction, who by that time had been a couple of steps too close to them for Nikolai to keep talking. But the man did have a tendency to risk his life. “But you with nothing on would definitely be in first place.”

Zoya had widened her eyes and a violent rush of blood had tinged her cheeks, while Nikolai had sprinted on to welcome her guests and she stood there like an idiot, trying to catch back her composure. After that, she had quickly understood just how much Nikolai appreciated a challenge. And when he understood just how much Zoya hated to cause a scene, that had been the end for her. At least it seemed like they were alone right now. Better to be safe than sorry, although.

“Nikolai, please at least tell me you’re not about to stage another of your embarrassing public fit.” She asked him now, half pleading and half threatening, as they made their way through the woods.

Nikolai chuckled. “Not this time. And do not lie to me, I know you’ve enjoyed my scenes.”

“I have not.”

“Not even a smidge?”

“You should thank the Saints you’re still breathing after all the stunts you pulled.”

“The Saints and your infinite love for me, I suppose.”

“My love may be infinite, but I assure you my patience is not.”

Zoya tried to keep the smile from her voice, failing miserably. Nikolai had a way to overwhelm her with a now familiar lightness and serenity. Their bickering, his hand in hers, his scent in the air. It all felt like home. So much so that she had found herself subtly pressing on him to get married, eager to have him forever with her. It was a feeling of certainty she wasn’t willing to let go of. It was a treasure she wanted to protect. And she didn’t really care about grand gestures, about big declarations. As far as she was concerned, she could find a ring on her nightstand and they could be married in secret. Nikolai knew that, always seemed to know exactly what kind of attention she needed. He left her his little wire boats everywhere to be found, he concocted small and useless inventions just for the sake of amusing her. He placed hidden notes and drawings in her drawers or under her pillows. He courted her in a way she had never been courted before, dedicating his clever mind to making her feel loved and safe - a task in which he was succeeding brilliantly.

But the privateer in him came out every now and then. Apart from the flirting, which she could admit she had been enjoying, he had picked up the unnerving habit of pretending to be about to propose to her in the middle of all sorts of gatherings. The first time he had sank down on one knee had been during one of their evenings with the rest of their friends. Everyone had drawn a sharp breath, falling silent and still. But the idiot had simply picked up one of her earrings that had fallen on the floor, winking at her while she narrowed her eyes at him from the upside down. Then he got bolder and bolder. The next time, he had clanked his glass at the end of a state dinner, saying he had a declaration to make for his queen. Zoya had glared at him from her seat, shifting uncomfortably, praying to all the Saints for him to shut up. But the worst had been during the ball they threw last week in honour of some Saint or occurrence she could not even remember. They were dancing, spinning around the ballroom. Nikolai was indeed a very gifted dancer, so she usually let him guide her. It was a strange feeling, the safety of being carried by his arms.

“Your hand is nowhere near the level of propriety, Nikolai”, she had whispered with a playful look, noting the fire on her skin as he had brushed her lower back.

He had smirked. “Let them envy me. I’m dancing with the most gorgeous woman in the room.”

“The one that’s going to step on your foot if you don’t behave yourself.”

Nikolai had nudged her closer, skimming his lips on her jaw. “Want to give them something else to watch?” And then, without preamble, he had kneeled in front of her, right in the middle of the ballroom, holding one of her hands in his. The music had stopped, the room had been filled with ecstatic murmurs. Zoya had caught Genya giggling on the other side of the room, but she could only hear her heart thrumming in her chest.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

One beat had passed. Two beats, and that delicious grin of his had erupted on Nikolai’s face. He had cleared his throat and turned to the people assembled around them.

“Pardon me for the interruption, but I believe it’s time for the Queen to give her speech!” He had joyfully declared, getting back up on his feet. She had looped her arm on his, seething under her breath.

“I am going to smite you where you stand.”

From that moment on, every time he had tried to garner the attention in public endeavours, she had been terrified to see him cause another scene. Deep down, Zoya knew he was not going to ask her like this. He was way too much of a romantic soul to do this. Sure enough though, he was immensely enjoying himself. She supposed she could let him have his fun. As long as she was his, and he was hers, she didn’t really care how many times he would embarrass her. There was nothing on earth that could compare to the feeling of seeing him beaming with happiness. Not even the dragon, in all his lifetimes, had known a warmth like this. Zoya loved him enough to let him have his way at times.

The creak of the garden door distracted her from her thoughts. Finally, Nikolai stopped. She heard him move behind her and place his hands on her hips, while his lips brushed on the skin of her neck.

“You can look now.”

He murmured against her skin. Was she imagining the slight tremble of emotion in his voice? He sounded thrilled, nervous. Slowly, she pulled the cloth from her eyes, caught back by the light that was flooding the place. Whatever she had thought she was going to see, it was nothing compared to what Nikolai had built. The breath was knocked out of her lungs, the beating of her heart racing up like it was about to take flight. It was her garden, but it was so much more. The structure Nikolai had designed was an engineering marvel of glass and wrought iron, twisting toward the sky, looking like the dome of a chapel. A perfect combination of his brilliance and a most expert Fabrikator’s craft. The whole building was transparent; Zoya could see the sky beyond, the clouds, the ray of sun warming up the place and shattering through the glass in a rainbow of colours. The flowers hadn’t been touched; new pots had been placed, new space to fill. The thorn wood still ran on the sides, around the bricks and the lanterns. But the wall had been painted with every sort of wonder; there was a dragon roaring through the sky, a ship that looked like the Volkvolny sealing a storm-swept sea, with a two-star flag added to Sturmhond’s one. A fox emerged from the bushes on the wall nearer to the door. The Grisha colours and symbols were all over the place, a flash of blue, red, and purple blossoms; waves, fire and lightnings ran throughout the murals.

“Alina painted them.”

Explained Nikolai, whispering softly when he noticed she was looking at the walls. Zoya took two steps in front of her, tilting her head up. There weren’t words she possessed right enough for this moment, none of the languages she knew was fit to describe this. The wrought iron was shaped like quince and gusts of wind that towered over the place in a million branches, spreading on the lines of the glass dome.

“Every panel of glass can be opened in the summer. They’re closed now, so that the heat stays in and the flowers can blossom in every season.”

Nikolai’s voice was still soft, still stumbling a little, like he was holding his breath to wait for her reaction. He had poured all of himself into this extraordinary building. This is what love does. If only Lilyiana could see her now. If she could see what she had found. Let love pour through, my little girl. Let your golden hero carry you home. You are safe. Zoya was shaking. Breathing was hard. She turned to him, feeling a suspicious prickle behind her eyes. Nikolai had once again got down on his knee amidst her wildflowers; she caught the sparkle of a jewel in his hand. Zoya smiled, too stricken with emotions to concentrate on anything that wasn't him.

“I hope it’s the last time you kneel to me.” Zoya tried to muster some wit, but her voice came out croaked, her throat sore. Nikolai was undoing her.

“Do shut up, Your Highness. I believe it’s my turn to speak.” The too-clever fox smirked, a clear and expectant look in his gleaming hazel eyes. “I had a speech - honestly it’s hard to remember it right now.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been wanting you for so long, and I’ve been believing for so long that there wasn’t a future for us, that it seemed impossible to have this.”

He opened his mouth again, clearly about to correct himself, but Zoya was quicker. “Improbable”, she added, unable to restrain herself. Another smirk curled his lips.

“Improbable”, he conceded, immensely satisfied that she had picked up on his favourite line. “I know I’ve kept you waiting. I would have asked the first time you kissed me. I would have asked that night in the cargo hold. But I said something else that night, something I wanted to live up to.”

Zoya watched him carefully, trying to see through him, to wrap her head around what was happening. She felt like her heart was about to burst in her chest.

“There were things I wanted to do before asking you. I wanted to gift you something ill-suited for war, something precious. That’s why I built this.” He gestured to the structure around them. “Because your garden need not be just a monument to grief anymore, but one to life. To the way you make everything around you blossom.” Nikolai paused, his gaze intense and fierce on her. “And then there were other things I told you I would have done for you, once I could.”

“You wanted to give me a crown.” Zoya said, with surprise in her voice. She had started to figure out where he was going with this, had started to grasp his words from the memory of that night, carved inside her.

“That was the first thing. I believe it worked splendidly. What else did I tell you?”

“You wanted to show me the world from the prow of your ship.”

She brought her fingers to her lips, as if she could not believe her own realization. Her voice was trembling too, now. She remembered. She remembered when Nikolai had insisted they took a couple of days at sea, during their mission in Os Kervo. Zoya knew Nikolai wanted to travel with her, but they simply had not had the time to do it properly. Zoya had promised him they would, someday, when peace was secured. Nikolai had pressed her on that trip to sail on the Volkvolny, even for a little while. She had not questioned him, thought he was only being nonsensical as usual and had obliged him. He had told her something, on the railing of the ship, as the sun was setting in front of them. That’s why I like the sea, he had said to her, because when you look out at the horizon, you see everything beyond. Look, Zoya. You can see the whole world from here. It’s all ours for the taking. She had laughed, tilting her head to the sun. You gave me Ravka, Nikolai. It’s enough for me. She had been wrong. Nikolai had not just given her Ravka. Here, in the silence of her garden, she knew he was giving her so much more.

“And then there was one last thing.” Nikolai encouraged her. Zoya drew a sharp breath, catching the ring in his hand into focus.

“You wanted to give me a sapphire, the size of an acorn.”

Nikolai took her hand and placed the ring in it. The band was made of white gold, in the shape of a dragon curled around itself. Between its tail and its head, it held a glowing sapphire, the colour of a midnight sky. She peered at him under her lashes, too overwhelmed to say anything. His hands were shivering.

“I know it’s not the size of an acorn. We are still slightly broke, and, well - I thought you would have liked it better like this. It’s more elegant, it suits you more.”

Silence enveloped them. Zoya felt his warm uneven breathing on her skin, his nervousness, the sheer truth and love behind his actions taking her like a tide, filling the well inside her that had once protected her grief and caged her heart.

“I wanted you to understand that I’ll always be true to my promises. I don’t know when I started loving you, but I know I’m lost now. I searched for you for a lifetime. I still want you all the time. I want to lay beside you every night, wake up with you in my arms every morning. I want to build the future with you, I want to watch you scowl at people and be the brave and ruthless leader you are.” Nikolai inhaled a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “You've been my general. You are my friend, the woman I love. I would have chosen you before, I would now and I always will. Would you do me the honour of being my wife?”

Zoya didn’t try to hold back the tears. It didn’t matter. It didn’t because she had never felt safer in her life than she was feeling now, held in the dome that protected her garden, in the hands of the man that had always protected her. What he was telling her now, it had an echo to so many other things he had told her in the past, scattered throughout the moments they had shared. It told the story of how they took care of each other for so long, of their longing, of their strength. How they had found each other at last. She gently kneeled in front of him, folding her hand over the one that was holding the ring. All around them, the flowers had sprouted, their scent clouding them. She placed the other hand on his cheek, locking their eyes together. It took all her might to find her voice within the emotions swimming in her chest. Zoya had never been sentimental like him. She had never tried to be, maybe she could never be. Yet, she wanted him to know now; to know even a fraction of how much her love for him ran deep in her veins.

“You made me believe that impossible really is just a word.” She tried, wavering, gaining more confidence with each word she brought out. “You made me believe again, Nikolai. You are the hero of every story I have ever heard. And yes, I’ll marry you.”

He opened in an astonishing expression of relief, leaning in her touch. Nikolai slipped the ring on her finger, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“Turns out you can be romantic too, when you want to.” He teased, getting up and bringing her with him, circling her in his arms. As she leaned on his chest, she heard the rhythmic pounding of his heart, quick as the flapping of a bird’s wings.

“It’s hardly a match between the two of us. I know how much you enjoy it, so I let you take all the credit.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Does this mean you’ll stop kneeling in front of crowds?”

“I think so. I will not stop with the flirting, though. It’s a compulsion.”

Zoya went on her toes to press a kiss on his mouth.

“Do keep up with that. I like it.”

She tucked her hand into his pocket, closing her fingers on the blue ribbon he kept on him all the time. Zoya pulled it out, unfurling it in front of them.

“I believe I’ll need this for the wedding day.”

The smile that lightened up his face was worth a thousand wars to wage. A thousand years to wait.

***

To say that the wedding was grand, would have been an understatement. Genya had outdid herself, both with the decorations and the dress. If Zoya had thought she had made a great work with the coronation, what she had managed to create on this day put everything else to shame. Zoya didn’t remember much of it. It had been a whirlwind of colours and voices, people kissing her hand and offering their congratulations, dancing, and music and mostly a lot of drinking on their part. The ceremony had been long and complicated, but as usual, Nikolai had made everything more bearable. Somehow, he had managed to make her feel like they were the only two people standing in the chapel, the same one that held such awful memories and was now a place of celebration.

She had chosen not to wear gold, and they all went with it. Once had been enough; silver was more fitting for a dragon queen that commanded the storm. Being a queen had its advantages in terms of breaking with traditions. Nikolai had walked the aisle with her; he had never left her side, he had never left the grip on her hand. Zoya could feel his intense desire to make this day joyful for her. She would never stop marvelling at his selflessness, at how good and pure his heart was. To her surprise, he had chosen to relent the traditional Ravkan wedding vows in favour of the ones spoken by Grisha. They applied a lot more to them than any other oath they could make.

We are soldiers. I will march with you in times of war. I will rest with you in times of peace. I will forever be the weapon in your hand, the fighter at your side, the friend who awaits your return. I have seen your face in the making at the heart of the world and there is no one more fierce, passionate, and unbreakable.

There was not much else to say; everything they needed to tell each other, they had already done in the quiet of their intimacy. Everything they needed to share about what it meant to have each other, they already knew. But Nikolai had added something, lowering his voice to a whisper, only for her to hear.

I will always seek to make it summer for you.

He had spoken the words in Suli. A ridiculous Suli, with an accent as thick as Zoya’s one and probably quite the number of mistakes. Zoya didn’t care. She didn’t know much Suli either, but she had understood. She had felt the urge to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him senseless, all these people be damned. Instead, she had murmured her answer to him, searching in her childhood for the words, hoping his knowledge of the language was broader than hers.

You are my endless summer.

Nikolai’s eyes had sparkled, his lips trembled when he had kissed her, knocking her off his feet, and she knew he had understood too. The first half of the party had been slightly tedious. Her dress was heavy, the crown hitched on her head. But as the night went on and the brandy had started to flow, she had found she was enjoying herself much more than she thought. Nikolai’s presence glowed in the room, equally as handsome as her. It was well past midnight when people had started retiring, saying their goodbyes to the newly wed royal couple.

At last, they found themselves alone at a table with all their friends. Tolya was astoundingly drunk, much to their amusement. He was trying to convince Adrik to stand on a chair and recite some poetry with him. Adrik, who was incredibly smiling, seated next to Leoni who wore her usual thousand sun merry expression. Adrik had taken Zoya’s position in the Triumvirate, while Leoni held the post for the Materialki now. She and Genya were deep in an argument about some sort of poison used to make people sleepwalk. Genya was laughing, her head thrown back, a glass of honey tea in her hand. Seeing her happy was a sight for sore eyes. Zoya knew they were all missing David more tonight; her eyes wandered on her friend’s kefta, which stood a little too tight around her stomach. The bump was starting to show clearly right now, four months into the pregnancy. She was beaming. It takes a village, people said about raising a child. This child would definitely never be alone. Alina and Mal had retired earlier, eager to return to their kids. She had held Alina in an embrace a little longer than usual, trying to convey how wonderful her gift to Zoya had been, how much comfort the paintings in her garden would bring. In the middle of the room, Tamar and Nadia were still dancing, or trying to at least, missing every rhythm of the music. Tamar stopped abruptly when she saw Zoya watching them.

“I can’t believe you two pulled it off, at last!” She made a toast in their direction, making Nadia stumble.

“I can’t believe Nikolai pulled it off”, Genya smirked, toasting back to Tamar with her tea.

Nikolai shrugged his shoulders. “I’m known for always choosing the hardest quest.”

There was little hope to ever make them stop with the teasing. Turning her gaze, Zoya caught sight of Nina and her prince, who had traveled all the way from Fjerda to be here tonight. Nina was stunning as usual, in a dress that hugged every curve of her, stacking on a pile of pastries and forcing Hanne to taste each and every one of them. The reckless Heartrender didn’t miss the chance to weigh in on the conversation, popping a pastry in her mouth. “And to think Zoya was the one to bash me about falling in love with Fjerdans. It backfired right in your face.”

Zoya clicked her tongue. “At least I take care not to let people walk in on us having a private moment.”

“That’s on you”, Nina grinned, “But I guess now you know that the thing about Fjerdans being cold it’s just a myth.”

“Definitely a myth", confirmed Nikolai, winking at Nina. Leave it to the two of them to be inappropriate.

Tolya downed another glass of whisky. For a giant, he didn’t have a good resistance to alcohol. “Good luck Zoya, he’s all yours to suffer now.” He managed to mutter. “At least he’s not moping around about you anymore like a lost puppy.” Tolya, the most respectful soldier she knew. He really was drunk.

“I’ll still mop around about her, don’t worry.”

“I can manage, I think", Zoya answered to Tolya, curling her lips.

She sighed happily, tightening the hold on Nikolai’s hand next to her, while she watched the people who were now her family filling the air with their laughter. He put the glass down, gazing at her with amusement. His golden hair were ruffled, his elegant shirt crumpled, his skin heated. His eyes were filled with awe, a smile dancing on his lips. She felt her breath itch at the sight of him. Nikolai leaned closer to her, bringing her hand up to his mouth. His look turned soft, affectionate.

“You survived today wonderfully.”

Zoya fell silent, watching her golden boy. This is what love does. You fight for it, and it saves you. You build it, brick by brick, and it stays. The dragon spread his wings inside her.

“You built me a home.”

She told him, and cocked her head to the side, making some strands of hair fall from the elaborate updo Genya had weaved. Nikolai rushed to tuck them back into the ribbon that held them in place, the one she had taken from his pocket when he had proposed.

“You gave me something to build it for. Someone to fill it with.”

Zoya knew, in that moment. She knew that every blow, every pain, every loneliness she had endured had been meant to take her here. It had been meant to make her worthy of him, to make her believe they could have this. She knew every loss and every battle had forged her so that she could let herself love him. And Nikolai made everything possible. The weight of his hand in hers felt sacred.

“We will go on, you and I. We are going to be fine.”

It wasn’t a question. It was the strongest belief she had ever had. It was hope. After an eternity of fighting and suffering, the stone tumbled inside her, coming to rest. Nikolai nodded, closing his eyes and sighing. The world felt easier. It felt warm, and sunny, full of his light.

“Yes, we are.”

And they would. For years to come, they would be fine.

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akillysheel · 2 years

Text

You Can’t Fool Me. ❜ ( 1/75 )

Summary: Kip gets more than she bargained for when she steals a man’s wallet. Characters: Kip, Jagger. Prompt: ❝ You can’t fool me. ❞ Warnings: Threat, mild violence, references to drugs and volatile mood swings.

A/N: I started a new drabble challenge in the hopes that it’ll get me out of a writer’s block! There’re no set characters nor prompts, but I think a lot of them will focus on Kip and Simon and the people in their lives, as well as their eventual crossover.

Kip winces as her face is pushed into the wall, its uneven surface digging into the soft skin of her cheek. “Hey, stop! That HURTS, you jerk!”

The stranger lets out a cold, humourless laugh, one that digs into her almost as much as the scratchy concrete does. Most houses in Leylan are sanded clean and even, though the alleyways are sometimes neglected. Why dedicate outstanding effort to places fit only to house their garbage cans? They’re a fussy breed, but they draw the line at futile endeavours.

His gloved hand is hot and heavy against the back of her head, fingers curling into her thick lavender hair and tugging her harshly upright. Her heart pounds like a drum as her back melds tight against his front. Fear tastes like the inner wall of a chimney, thick and ashen on her tongue as she clutches the neck of her keytar case for all it’s worth. She tries to tell herself that she doesn’t claim it, that it can’t take over and make her weak, but she’s terrified of this man.

“Let’s try this again.” His voice is smooth, singed deep with a mocking calm. “My produce. Where is it?”

“I told you I DON’T KNOW!” She struggles then– attempts to tug her keytar loose and swing it at him, but she isn’t quick enough. His large hand catches her wrist and bends her arm behind her head at an angle that borders on unnatural. Kip is a lot of things: a smart-mouthed pick-pocket, a darling sister, a talented musician - but she isn’t a masochist. Her pain tolerance has always been horrid, and the idea of having her bone snapped in a shady back alley has a cold sweat breaking out on her forehead, breath coming out in short, shallow puffs. “L-Let go, let me go–”

“See, I want to! I do. But that guy you looted–” He pauses to dig his thumb into her wrist, hard, as if he’s attempting to nestle it between the tendons without opening her up first. “He works for me. I’ve got to protect my own. And my business.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kip blubbers, knees wobbling. The last thing she wants to do right now is cry, but her resolve is crumbling fast. She can deal with rude people all day long, but big men that are morally bankrupt enough to get physical with her? It quickly becomes apparent how little she is in comparison.

“Mm… nah. I don't believe you. You can’t fool me.”

A strangled cry leaves her as he slowly applies pressure to her already-aching arm, fat tears stinging the corners of her eyes before rolling down her cheeks. “I–I don’t! I swear, I j–just took his wallet! I didn’t want anything else– I d-don’t know who you are!”

The man hesitates for a moment. The streets may have dulled his empathy somewhat, but they haven’t turned him into stone. He knows crying when he hears it. If this woman is lying, she’s quite the talented actress - and he gathers, from the instrument slung across her middle, that her skills lie in other areas. Slowly, he releases her, shoving her away from him with a callous thrust of his forearm. As soon as she makes impact with the wall behind her, she all but crumbles against it, legs shaking so hard that it’s a wonder she remains standing at all.

“Speak,” he demands tersely, shoulders squared in case she attempts to swing at him again. If she does, he’ll make sure it’s the last move she ever makes. “Who the fuck are you? Hm? Why’d you rob him if not for the spice?”

Kip stares up at him as if she’s seen a ghost. “S-Spice?”

Things are starting to click into place, albeit gradually. The shady back alley, the man’s cold exterior, this obsession with brotherhood and money and belonging… she’d unwittingly gotten her hands on more than she bargained for when she stole that man’s wallet. Not that she’d even known, for she’d emptied it of bills and coins before tossing it into a gutter. She sniffles pathetically, her arm (the one that hadn’t been bent behind her head like a makeshift boomerang) swiping across her face in an effort to rid it of tears. Her skin feels clammy to the touch. “No, I… I don’t do things like that. I–I just needed money.”

“You make money by selling those tabs, idiot.” He’s growing increasingly impatient with this girl, and the more she talks, the more he fears what he’ll have to do to keep her silent. He doesn’t take any pleasure in hurting people. Pride, perhaps, but not pleasure.

“Look, I didn’t know. I didn’t!” She grits her teeth, sharp canines bared in the form of a fierce snarl in spite of her red-rimmed eyes. She’s through with grovelling - and she’s through with this man’s accusations, too. He may be a street-rat, may have subscribed to a life of crime and debauchery, but her only sin is stealing cash to feed herself and her brother. “Look at me! I’m a low-life wannabe musician. I’m playing gigs in shitty bars with ten people in them at max. I have no money! I have no university degree! I have NOTHING! I have my brother and that’s it. You think I know ANYTHING about drugs or gangs or what part of town you run? I just want to pay rent.” She clamps her teeth over the tip of her tongue until the urge to cry again passes. “I know it’s wrong to steal. Just like you probably know it's wrong to sell these things. But I need to live. What else can I do?!”

There are several answers to that question, but he dares not say any of them. He's in a position where most of them can be thrown back in his face. Just get a regular old job. Stop putting others at risk. Just pick a different target.

He pinches the space between his eyes with a grunt of irritation. “At least give the guy his damn wallet back. Where is it?”

“I threw it away somewhere…”

He stares at her as if she’s spoken a foreign language, brow knitting with confusion before it becomes a hateful crease. “You stole it just to toss it?”

“I didn’t wanna be caught with ID that wasn’t mine, s-so I emptied it of cash and then threw it away.”

“There were eight tabs in there, you idiot! You’re telling me you didn’t see them while emptying his fucking wallet?!” He leans in close, and she instinctively backs away, pressing herself tight against the wall. Her teal eyes are blown wide with fear, her fingers closed tight around the neck of her instrument. “Do you have any idea how much money down the drain that is?! Shit’s EXPENSIVE!”

“I–I’m sorry–”

“Oh, you’re sorry!” He throws his arms upwards, and the need for subtlety leaves him completely. “Pack it up, fellas! The girl’s sorry!” Predictably, nobody comes running. Leylan may be a communal place, but people know better than to interrupt the goings-on in dingy sside-streets. There’s a reason that people like him operate in the shadows of dumpsters. He thrusts a finger so close to her face that Kip worries it’s going to go straight into her eye. “You owe me a lot of money, lady.”

“B–But I don’t have any…” It’s all but a whisper, watery and frail. She has very little to her name. An apartment she shares with Basil; an old treehouse that has no monetary value; the most she could do is attempt to pawn off some of the retro consoles sitting in that place, though it would break her heart to do so.

“Then you’d best make some,” the man hisses, pointing at her keytar. “I’m sure you can–”

“No!” Kip draws the instrument protectively behind her, shielding it from view. Her face is the equivalent of a pond’s rippling surface, cycling through emotions so quickly that it’s all but imperceptible. She wants to cry, wants to scream, wants to drop to her knees and beg– and yet she wants to do none of them, disgusted by the thought of giving into this man and his less-than-glowing personality. She’s grown to oppose those that are mean, and he has to be the most unpleasant person she’s crossed paths with in a long time.

… but this is her mess. Whether it was intentional or not, the result is irrefutable. Feeling guilty for being the cause of a drug dealer’s misery is arguably misplaced, but Kip hates to be at the centre of another’s inconvenience. Besides, she may not be interested in what he’s selling, but it isn’t as if stealing is much better. Two wrongs evidently don’t make a right.

Kip sucks in a steady breath, trying her best to look distinctly more adult than she feels. “I can work for you.”

Her eyes are trained on his face in spite of the mounting urge to run. She watches it change like the seasons, the kink in his brow gradually smoothing out, mouth twitching upwards with mirth. His unpredictable emotions threaten her almost as much as his physical build does.

“That’s less bad to you than selling your instrument?” His tone performs a dance, light and airy in spite of the grim arrangement forming between them. If nothing else, this girl is interesting. He’s seldom met somebody who has no interest in drugs that’ll then throw themselves into his path, not even out of necessity.

Hollowly, Kip nods. “This thing’s all I have that’s mine. It’s front and centre in everything that I do. If I lose it, I won’t be able to do gigs or…” Against her better judgement, she feels her face heat up with slight embarrassment. “Or post videos online…”

“Ugh, you’re one of those people… figures.”

She very nearly stamps her foot and yells at him to shut up, but her sense of self-preservation is thankfully just a little too sharp to do so. Instead, she swallows hard, like forcing down a bitter spoonful of medicine, before straightening her spine even further. She won’t be intimidated by him.

“I can do it. If I owe you money, I can work for you until I pay off my debt.” She lets a confident smile stretch across her face, despite the fact that she couldn’t possibly be further out of her depth. “How much do I owe you?”

“Around 40,000 paals.”

“What?!” And there goes the confident smile, replaced with an expression so stunned that it almost evokes pity from the man. “For eight tabs? What the hell is that extortion?!”

“Hey, I deal, I know how much it is. You clearly don’t understand what it takes to make this shit so pipe down, tiny.” His voice is back to that low, dangerous whir, and Kip backs off much like she would from a hungry lion. “You’re noisy, you know. It’s really off-putting.” A smirk crosses his face then. “But you’re fast, too. And street-smart. They’re two traits you need to do well out here. I think you could do it.”

He won’t admit it to her face, but he feels bad for her. She’s a prime example of someone who’s suffering the brunt of karma early, and probably disproportionately. She looks young and arguably as desperate as she makes out, clad in nothing but a muddied red jacket that is miles too big for her, cheap leggings and boots that look about ready to fall apart. It contrasts his suave black coat and his tailored waistcoat so plainly that it’s ugly. He wonders briefly if her brother has anything to do with this apparent poverty. Why is it only her getting her hands dirty for the sake of obtaining cash? If they live together, they’re stuck in the same space, in the same circumstances. What is he doing to help?

“... fine,” he says eventually, nodding. “I’ll take you on. But you won’t see a single coin of what you earn, understand? It's mine.”

Kip gulps and begrudgingly nods her head, only partially relieved when he claps and smiles. It’s wide this time, arguably real, but the veil of pleasantry is so thin that it’s all but translucent. She can see the shark beyond it, all black-eyed and jagged-toothed.

“Great! Then meet me here tomorrow. 7AM sharp. Don’t be late. If you are…”

“I won’t be!” Kip interrupts, waving her hands in a desperate attempt to appease him. She’s normally not one to take threats seriously, but he’s already proven that he can and will hurt her if she does something that he doesn’t like. She makes an attempt to smile, but it’s more of a grimace. “I’ll be here. B-Bright and early…”

He knocks her chin gently with a gloved hand, as if greeting a pet dog, before turning his back on her. To him, there’s no reason to worry about letting her go; he’s made his intentions clear. She’ll be seeing more of him regardless of the choice she makes. “I hope so. A young lady disappearing isn’t something I want to be hearing about on the radio, you know. What a buzzkill when you’re just trying to have your morning coffee, right?”

Kip deflates, the pin-prick tip of his threat popping what’s left of her resolve like a balloon.

I’m dead. I’m so, very dead.

#writing #writeblr #writers on tumblr #short story #drabble challenge #oc story #original cast #fandomless oc story #drabble #drabble challenge ;#kip ;#terrence ;#tomorrow ;

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hockeyforthefirsttime · 4 years

Text

Home For Christmas- Mat Barzal

AN: This is no shame, I started this before Christmas with the intention of finishing it as well... bitch I didn’t, so here we are.

Word count: 4k

TW: bad parenting, mentions of cheating, kind of angst? idk

Sitting alone by the kitchen table, you watch the snow fall heavy over the town. You’re supposed to be working on your masters thesis, but your mind is a thousand miles away, 2 185,4 miles to be exact.

And even that far away, Mat is still everywhere to be seen in a town he’s never been in. He’s in the cafe with the really bad coffee and the really good cakes, he’s in the window reflection in the old thrift shop you used to go to when you were younger. And you can imagine him so easily outside on the front porch, playing in the snow.

In all honesty that would be ideal, having him here. But he’s not, he didn’t have the opportunity to come. You understand that. You understand that he’s got his own traditions, family and friends to see.

But when you left JFK to come to the cabin in Alta, you wished that he was by your side, you by his. Instead of the snoring man that sat on your right hand side the entire flight. At least you got the window seat.

Your parents went out to have dinner or visit some friends, you don’t care enough to remember.

All you could think of was how Mat had been babbling about how excited he was for Christmas, and going home. And how you deep inside dreaded coming here. It’s not that your parents don’t love you, they just love the idea of the past you. Mat cares for you a lot, you know that, you’ve settled for that. But you haven’t had the heart to tell him how your parents only care for perfect facades and flaunting their riches. That's also why you haven’t told them about Mat.

The snow is still falling over the perfectly decorated front lawn.

You’re still thinking of Mat and how he would look with rosy cheeks from the cold, when your parents move in through the front door whilst talking in low murmurs.

“Y/N, darling? You’re still awake?”

Your mother asks, not yelling though, never yelling. She waits until she can see you from the hallway.

“Yes, still kind of working.”

You answer politely.

“Oh, you’re still writing your thesis?”

Quickly as she comes around the table, you switch from the spotify tab, to the uni home page.The lie comes smoothly and she doesn’t notice, she never does.

“My little hard worker, you’re gonna be such a good psychiatrist one day.”

And your heart sinks all the way down to your stomach. You’ve never told them that you switched majors three years ago. Or that you’re not writing a dissection of the human mind, but rather a song. As well as a thesis.

“Hey, I’m gonna go to my room.”

Your mom nods at you with what almost resembled a fond smile. Passing your father in the hallway you see him slip something into the pocket of his already hung coat.

“Night sweetheart.”

“Night dad”

You smile half heartedly while balancing your books and laptop in your hands.

No matter how nicely the property is decorated, no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be what your parents expect you to be. They are much like their cabin in your opinion, pretty and inviting on the outside, shallow on the inside.

You don’t know how to handle this. Because while you grew up a lot around here, New York feels like your home now. With pictures on the walls and tiny memories littered around the place. The bedroom you’ve always had in the cabin hasn’t changed much since you last were here. Pictures of people you no longer talk to still hang on the vanity you never used.

Crawling underneath the thick duvet, you pull your phone off the charger on your nightstand. There are a few messages on snap chat and instagram you’ve missed. Mostly friends from college, all in their respective homes with their old friends and family.

You close both of the apps, and sigh when you see the wallpaper of your phone. It’s a picture of you and Mat. You’re dressed in a hoodie with his jersey over it and his arms slung around your middle from behind, the both of you smiling at Beau behind the camera. You remember that day.

It was in the early days of your relationship and only the second or third game you had been too of his. The Islanders had played the Rangers and won, Mat scored twice and it was overall a good game. The WAG’s had all started to head for the locker room hallway, while you set your path for the exit, planning on meeting Mat back at his apartment. Lauren was the first to see you trying to sneak out. And had instantly called you out on it. She’s a miracle worker with people, and within seconds she had figured out how scared you were that Mat wouldn’t want you there. After all this was a team win, and you didn’t quite feel like you were a part of the team. Not yet at least.

And despite your fears, Lauren convinced you that he would love to see you first thing as he exited. And he had been. His already beaming face had swept you up in his strong arms and spun you around. Mat truly was and still is at times more excitable than a puppy.

-----

You wake up abruptly from someone yelling. That someone you quickly recognize as your father's voice. And your heart drops, even though the words are muffled, you can imagine the scene. Your mother, sitting at the kitchen table, in the same spot as you sat last night, telling him to calm down and stop yelling. Your father pacing in front of her, screaming about something you can’t quite figure out what is yet. He is obviously ignoring her.

Picking your phone up from the mattress as you sit up, there doesn’t seem to be anything new. You enter the messages app and shoot Mat a message, telling him to call you in thirty minutes.

With a sigh, you pull the warm, comfortable duvet off yourself and drag your body out of the bed. Everything in the room seems a little colder, and you know it’s probably because of the badly isolated windows. That’s probably why the cool floorboards tickle your feet when you step on them. Luckily there is a pair of thick socks on the floor next to the bed, so you pull them on and walk to the door.

Carefully you let the door creep open silently.

“- and why couldn’t you just leave it be?”

You hear your father yelling.

“Because you’re my husband and I love you, you’re not supposed to have a second phone, much less a second girlfriend.”

Immediately your stomach sinks. Your dad has a mistress? Then it was probably the second phone he slipped into the coat pocket last night. God, christmas spirit, eh? You shut the fight out of your mind instantly, not wanting this to be your christmas. In this moment you hate all the bad hallmark movies you’ve watched with Mat. Not for having watched them, but for letting them give you hope of a normal christmas.

On autopilot, you start packing the bag you never finished unpacking. It takes fifteen minutes for you to finish. Your phone starts ringing as soon as you zip the back shut. With a deep sigh you answer the phone.

“Hi Mat.”

“Hey, babe. You okay?”

You can hear laughter in the background and the smile in his voice. You hate yourself for the next words.

“No, not really.”

The admittance lies heavy in your chest, but some of the weight seems to lift off when you speak the feelings into existence.

“I’m sorry, is there anything I can do?”

It's like the world disappears for a minute, and just hearing his voice calms you down.

“No, I don’t think so, I just don’t think I can handle this right now. ‘M just gonna head home to my apartment. I can’t take my parents right now.”

It’s a relief to get the words out of your mouth and into existence. You can imagine him right now, with the cute frown on his face and the cogs and wheels in his brain turning.

“Hold on, you’re not gonna spend christmas morning alone are you?”

“Why not? It’s not really different from what I’m used to, and it’s already the 23rd today anyway.”

“That gives you just enough time to fly here!”

Your heart soars at the thought of waking up with Mat in his childhood home, but reason strikes you seconds later.

“Mathew, I’m not gonna intrude on your family like that.”

The sigh he releases on the other end of the phone, is followed by a small chuckle.

“You’re not intruding. I promise. Plus they all love you.”

------

You order an uber straight after calling Mathew. When you open the door to your bedroom, the yelling still hasn’t stopped. The log walls have always been pretty soundproof, but you swear, right now there is an echo in the house. Silently you close the door behind you. Your dad is still ranting on about how none of this is his fault, and how some things women simply don’t understand.

You sigh and take off your shoes to make your steps even quieter than usual.It’s not that your father isn’t kind, it’s just that he seems to have been too kind to another woman. And it puts a great deal of fear into your heart. It makes you scared that Mat might do the same.

You shake the thought (almost) out of your head, Mat is not your father, and you are not your mother. Still, you can’t help but feel like your mother deserves better. Leaning against the door frame, you pull up your phone and start scouring the web.

The uber app alerts you of your rides arrival, and you go into your travel backpack and pull out a piece of paper and a pen. Quickly you write down the number and name of both a divorce lawyer and a couples therapist. Your coat is already on and your bag doesn't have wheels, so it’s a silent endeavour to the other bedroom in use on this floor. Your parent’s room.

It looks like it always has. Everything is neatly put behind closed doors and the bed is perfectly made. No knick knacks on the bedside table, not even a book or an alarm clock. You sigh, put the note on your mothers side of the bed and leave.

You’re glad the kitchen doesn ‘t have a clear view of the hallway, your parents are too immersed in their fight, to notice the fact that their child is slipping through their fingers. They don’t notice you walking away from them.

------

The airport is not so surprisingly filled only with stragglers and people who are most likely working this christmas. The pine trees are decorated and everywhere, but you don’t feel as sick to your stomach as you usually do. Quickly you find your gate. It’s got a great view and you watch the snow fall under the lights of the airport and sip the holiday drink you uncharacteristically got from the coffee shop beside the gate. You have already checked in the luggage, so yet again you pull out a pen, but also a worn and torn leather bound notebook that’s been with you since the start of your degree.

The songs usually come from poems but somehow this one is different. You start the melody quickly, writing down notes and sometimes little words that you feel make sense with the melody. Your hands start to itch for the ivory and ebony keys of a piano, but just as the feeling arrives the flight attendant calls up your flight and you have to pack up.

The plane is only half full, so you get a row to yourself. Resting your feet across the two free seats is a little uncomfortable, you’ll admit as much, but the feeling of having the piano at least on your computer is settling some of the itch.

-----

Mat comes alone to pick you up from the airport. He’s standing in the parking lot leaning against his car. The second he hears you approaching he looks up from his phone, pockets it and meets you halfway. Immediately he hugs you tight.

“Hi babe, I missed you.”

He says with a low voice into the scarf wrapped around your neck. You just hug him tighter. The tension that took a hold of your body during the layover, is releasing from your body. Mat’s entire being is like a weighted blanket covering you.

When he lets you go, you miss his warmth, but it’s short lived. He picks up the bag you dropped to the snow covered ground and puts in the trunk before opening the passenger door for you. Upon entering the car, you are engulfed in everything Mat and warmth.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on with your family?”

You sigh at the question, knowing it was going to come sooner or later. To be honest you’re glad he asked now, and not back home, back with his family. It’s just, how do you explain the entire messy situation to Mat, without getting pity points? You don’t want to feel like some charity case or, even worse, like some spoilt child who can’t handle the situation.

Instead of dwelling over it for too long, you decide to jump into it as he starts the car and enters the freeway.

“My dad is cheating on my mom, and she found out last night. I think they were up the entire night just arguing. I just left a note on mom’s bed with the number of both a divorce lawyer as well as a couples therapist.”

You rant off, state it matter of factly. Trying to shut off your emotions.

“Are you okay Y/N?”

Mat asks. Simple as that. He asks you if you’re okay, and you can’t quite handle it. The tears are pressing on behind your eyes. And you look out the window, trying to hold them back. But when he puts a hand on your thigh, you let the first tear fall.

“No.”

And it really is as simple as that. You’re not okay. And you hate it. Just in that second your phone starts ringing in your back pocket.

“Sorry.”

You say as Mat looks at you. He just gives you a soft smile. You check the caller id, and see it’s your mom. Quickly you clear your throat and wipe your tears away.

“Hello mom.”

You answer, trying to sound neutral.

“Y/N, where are you? Did you go to one of your friends here? I can’t find any of your things.”

She sounds confused to be honest.

“Yeah no, I left, I’m on my way to my boyfriend’s house.”

You hear her suck in a breath. Probably trying to calm down. You do the same, hoping for a calm conversation.

“You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend? Where are you?”

You sigh, know it’s gonna be a long conversation.

“No, I know, I didn’t tell you on purpose. He lives in New York usually, but he’s from Canada.”

Ideally, you know, this would be a conversation to have with Mat, about why you haven’t told them about him, before you had it with your mother.

“You’re in Canada?”

“Yes.”

“Well, what does he do then?”

“Mom..”

You start to avoid the question, but she interrupts you.

“No, I want to know what he does that makes you think it’s okay for you to run away from your family right before christmas.”

In that second, just a split second, you get a little fight in you.

“First of all, it wasn’t his call, he invited me, when I called him. Originally I was just gonna go back to New York. Alone. Second of all, I am not interested in spending christmas around you and dad when you can’t figure out your lives. Third of all, he makes me feel safe and appreciated and I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now.”

You can feel the tears streaming down your face, but you don’t care.

“Fine, if you are going to be like that then.”

“I am gonna be like this mom.”

“Fine.”

She says, and then she hangs up the phone. And to be honest you’re kind of glad she did.

“That sounded rough.”

You nod and close your eyes. You don’t want things to be this way. You truly don’t, but it the way it is.

“You didn’t tell them about me?”

Mat asks. Possibly sounding hurt.

“No, I was scared that they were gonna be who I know them to be, especially upon finding out that you play hockey for a living.”

He sinks a bit back in the driver’s seat.

“You think they wouldn’t like me?”

He definitely sounds hurt.

“I think they would like your image, your paycheck and what you could do for them publicly.”

You answer earnestly. Before continuing.

“They want a solid paycheck and all the nice things in life. The things that prove that they’ve got a lot of money, and that about sums it up.”

“Oh, well that’s not good.”

Letting out a sad chuckle, you nod your head. You can tell you’re closing up on his house because he seems to be driving slower now.

“I hope you know I’m not into you for the paychecks.”

“No I know-”

He turns and smiles at you.

“You’re in this, for the amazing sex, eh?”

“Oh, for sure.”

You smile and take his hand.

---

Waking up is always kind of heavier in the winter, but with Mat’s arms wrapped around you in the morning, it’s just something else. You fell asleep in one of his hoodies and flannel pj pants. You’ll admit it, it is a bit too warm, but hell it’s so worth it.

You can feel him behind you, bare chest rising slow and steady. Soft snores escape him every now and then, but his arm around your waist stays there. Mindlessly, you start tracing shapes and letters on the back of his hand. You feel his hand start twitching, and all of a sudden he squeezes you tight and pulls you on top of himself.

“I love you too.”

He smiles up at you with his bleary eyes. Your cheeks heat up. You didn’t think he’d actually notice the letters you had been spelling out on his hand. So you hide your face on his shoulder and stay there. Just placing small, light kisses there.

“Can you say it? Like out loud?”

He asks you, quietly.

“That I love you?”

Immediately you feel him smile into your hair.

“I love you Mat Barzal.”

And you swear, you can feel his heart skip a beat in his chest.

“Merry Christmas, by the way.”

You say, feeling content. This is by far the best Christmas morning you’ve had, and you haven’t even gotten out of bed.

“Oh shit, it’s Christmas morning!”

And before you know it, the light is on, and he’s out of bed and pulling on a shirt and a pair of sweats. He turns and looks at you expectantly.

“Well, aren’t you coming?”

He asks, moving in your direction. Mat all but drags you out of the bed and barely let’s you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth, before meeting his family downstairs. And it’s a glorious sight that meets your eyes. The christmas tree is decorated with little lights and different colour baubles?, as well as glitter. It looks homemade, and not like the perfectly decorated trees that have made their mark on your childhood.

The sight of it causes you to stop dead in your tracks. God, how you love the normalcy of this. The morning is filled with laughter, jokes and copious amounts of hot chocolate. It’s not until the end of the gift unwrapping, that Mat slips away from you, claiming that he has to go to the toilet.

He returns a few minutes later, carrying a big box wrapped in paper. It doesn’t take you long to notice that all eyes are on you.

“Maty, I told you no gifts.”

You sigh, but you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your lips as you see how giddy he is.

“I know I know, and originally I was going to stick to it, but I saw this in the store and I know you said you’d manage without it, but I just couldn’t help myself.”

And as you listen to him rant his heart out to you, realization dawns on you.

“You didn’t seriously..”

Your sentence trails off as you watch him carefully place the box down on the dinner table.

“Please, just open it?”

And he knows you could never resist his pleading, just as well as you do. Nodding, you head to the table and start unwrapping the way too expensive gift. Soon the logo of the electric keyboard begins to unravel to you, and tears are seriously prickling behind your eyes.You pull the sleeves of the hoodie over your hands and wipe the tears away.

“Mathew, this is seriously the best christmas gift I have ever gotten.”

You mumble. He comes over and wraps you up in his arms again, and you can feel him smiling, how his entire being is happy, and maybe a little proud of himself. His mom and dad gush over how cute the two of you are, whilst Liana rolls her eyes with a fond smile.

“Well, why don’t you play us something sweetie?”

Mats mother asks you carefully once you unwrap yourself from Mat.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

And just like that the living room is cleared enough for you to set up the keyboard along with a chair from the kitchen. You even go back upstairs and find the chords you have written down for the song you wrote in the airport.

Testingly, you play a few chords. That is the moment you notice how quiet they’ve all gotten, so you decide to speak up, just to shake the nerves a little.

“Okay, so this is kind of a rushed song, I wrote it on my way here, but I do hope you like it.”

And then you start playing the first notes. You do love how the keys seem to find their way to you right away, like you’ve been playing this keyboard for a long time already. And then the words spill from your mouth. And you just sing.

Careful what you say

This time of year

Tends to weaken me

And have a little decency

And let me cry in peace

But there's a place where I

Erase the challenges I've been through

Where he knows every corner

Every street-name

All by heart

And so it is a part of my

Courageous plan to leave

With a broken heart

Tucked away under my sleeve

I wanna find home for Christmas

Let me find home this year

I wanna find home for Christmas

Let me find home this year

I'll pack my bags

And leave before the sun rises tomorrow

'Cause we act more like strangers for each day

That I am here

But I have someone close to me

Who never will desert me

Who remind me frequently

What I I can truly be

And so it is a part of my

Courageous plan to leave

With a broken heart

Tucked away under my sleeve

I wanna find home this Christmas

Let me find home this year

I wanna find home this Christmas

Let me find home this year

I don't know what my future holds

But I know who will love me

I can’t tell you where I'm from

But this one loved me to life

And so it is a part of my

Courageous plan to leave

With a broken heart

Tucked away under my sleeve

I wanna find home this Christmas

Let me find home this year

I wanna find home this Christmas

Let me find home this year

Playing the finishing keys, you look up from the keys, and see both Liana and Nadia smiling through a few tears. Mike is holding his wife close as he smiles at you. But Mat, he looks at you like you hung the stars in the night sky.

Quickly you get up from the chair and wrap your arms around his neck. Closing your eyes, just letting yourself be completely enveloped in him.

For a second though, he pulls slightly away, just enough so he can look you in the eyes.

“I love you so much, and you’ll always have a home with me.”

Your heart swells ten times bigger than what your chest is made to encompass.

“I know. I love you too.”

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal blurb #mat barzal fic #new york islanders #new york islanders imagine #new york islander fic #new york islanders blurb #nhl imagine #nhl new york islanders #nhl fic #nhl blurb

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starshine-effendy · 3 years

Note

HI HI! what about reader who is from mha world but then she ends up in aot world, where she meets her soulmate, Levi. Maybe she has his name in her skin or something?

A/N: I spent an hour planning on how this is going to go so I hope I got it right <3. I might need a wider spread of vocabulary... In other words I might need a dictionary. THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS HA! I MANAGED! WATCH ME WORLD!

I do not own any characters from My Hero Academia or Attack On Titan.

My Hero Academia belongs to Kohei Horikoshi

Attack on titans belongs to Hajime Isayama

Summary: You’re a pro hero friends with Hawks and Endeavor. You’re fighting that nomu guy when he flung you and knocked you out unconscious. You wake up in the world full of titans but you still had your quirk.

Warnings: If you watched MHA the Nomu fight then you’re all good... If not Spoilers. Uh... Some angst and arguments... A bit of swearing and Name calling.

(Please keep in mind that you woke up in an unknown universe so I tried my best to replicate anyone’s reaction)

Soulmates. No matter what, they’ll always be together even if they’re near death, separated or gone through amnesia. They’ll always find each other no matter what it takes. In a world of quirks, there’s a quirk for everything. Time, water, fire, earth, air... ANYTHING! There’s even one for soulmates. A man who works in the hospital. His quirk was if you’ve been touched by him your soulmate’s name would appear on the place he touched. You had to be 16+ and single for him to use your quirk on you. You met him at the age of 18 and your wrist was labeled “Levi Ackerman”

You’re a pro hero and friend of Endeavour and Hawks. You did missions together often and today a Nomu showed up and you helped with the fight. Endeavour was in a bad shape and you’ve finished killing tiny Nomus so you went to help Endeavour but you got flung out of view. You landed on a rooftop; unconscious.

Your head was spinning but you managed to open your eyes. “Trees... Large ones... What the...” You mumbled. “HEY! WAKE UP! CMON LET’S GO BEFORE THE TITAN COMES” Someone yelled.

‘Was he talking to me?’ You thought.

He had to get you up from the ground and into a wooden cart where you blacked out once more.

You woke up in what looks like to be an infirmary. “What the hell?” You were thinking out loud, “Oh I get it... I’m dead” You concluded.

“Tch”

You looked at where the noise came from it was a short man with a stoic expression, black undercut hair, sitting on a chair with his legs crossed.

“You are certainly not dead, cadet,”

You looked at him. Damn he did he have a perfect look quirk or something? His beautiful dark blue eyes were filled with hidden pain, with eyelids hiding half his eye balls, even then his eyes would still somehow put the brightest star to shame. His hair looks soft and smooth. Oh what you would give to be able to stroke them. His lips looked soft, the upper lip was thin but the bottom was plump and if you could, you’d nibble them. His jawline was sharp and angular and to say it complimented his rugged face would be an understatement.

“Hey brat!” He called out, “You frozen or something?”

His words interrupted your thoughts. You realized you’ve been staring at the man. You shook your head in attempt to get rid of those thoughts. Your gaze were now focused on the floor.

He got up front his seat and approached you. Your reflexes kicked on and you activated your quirk. He stared at you with wide eyes. You slowly deactivated your quirk and asked, “Is your quirk only to look good or something?”

“What in the walls did you do!?” He interrogated.

“Activated my quirk?... You know... Powers?” You replied with a confused look.

“What are you?” He asked sternly.

“A Pro hero?” You answered.

“Hero?”

“Yea. I was with Endeavour and Hawks fighting a Nomu! Didn’t you see the news?”

“The news paper? Why wo-” Before Levi could finish you interrupted.

“Not the news paper, guy! The literal news! Like in... TV? Your phone?”

If Levi looked confused before he’s definitely over the top puzzled now, “What the hell?”

“Oh my god! Are you broke?!” You exclaimed.

“Wha-”

“Oh I knew it! I should’ve donated more often,” You hopped off your bed, started pacing back and forth and rambling, “Ah!! I thought people could afford phones but nope! I’m so selfish I should’ve donated and instead I used the money for food. I’m sorry ran-” Your rambling was interrupted by a swift kick to your stomach that made you fling backwards hitting the wall. You slumped down to the floor, groaning in pain and curling up like a ball.

“Damn man... Nice kick,” You complimented and gave him a weak thumbs up.

He stared at you completely confused. You could probably hear gears working around his head. He sat down on the bed and placed his hands together and covered his nose and mouth. The pain was still lingering but you still managed to get up and approach him.

His eyes shifted to your torso before something caught his eyes. A name on your wrist. He grabbed your wrist and there it was... Clear as day... His name.

“Are you some kind of sick admirer or something?” He spat.

You tried to pull your wrist back but his grip was too strong, “What?”

“Why in titan’s name do you have my name written on your wrist?!” He questioned.

You stared at your wrist then him... then back at your wrist and then back at him.

THIS MAN IS YOUR SOULMATE?!?!?!?

“I-... There’s probably another Levi Ackerman in this world...” You stammered.

Levi was trying to rub his name off your wrist.

“Y...You can’t be my soulmate... Right?” You continued.

Your words caused Levi to stop rubbing instead he stared at you as if the biggest shock came to his life.

“Tch” He shoved your wrist away, “My soulmate isn’t some crazy brat!”

‘Oh ho ho... It’s on!’ you thought to yourself.

“Oh yea? Well my soulmate isn’t some shorty who can’t even reach the top shelf without a stool!” You argued.

Levi’s eyes widen at your comment, “Well my soulmate isn’t some damn weakling who can’t even survive an hour outside the walls!”

“OH YEA?! TRY ME!”

You faced the wall and activated your quirk. You were prepared to break the wall down but before you could Levi stopped you.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” He snapped.

“I’M PROVING A POINT TO YOU, YOU TINY NONSENSE!” You snapped back.

“I MEANT WALL MARIA, ROSE AND SINA YOU IDIOTIC BRAT!”

“WELL WHO WOULD NAME THE WALLS MARIA, ROSE OR SINA?!”

“APPARENTLY ANCIENT PEOPLE FROM ANCIENT TIME”

“WELL WHAT’S THIS WALL’S NAME!? LUNA?!” You yelled, pointing at the wall you were about to break.

“YOU DUMB BRAT I MEANT THE WALLS OUTSIDE!!”

“WHY WOULD THERE BE WALLS OUTSIDE THE WALLS!?”

“TO PROTECT US FROM THE TITANS!”

“Oceanus, Coeus, Crius, Hyperion, Lapetus, Cronus, Thea, Rhea, Themis, Mnemosyna, Phoebe and Tethys?” You questioned, “Why would be fighting Greek mythological creatures?!”

“Who the- NO!”

“... Then?”

“TITANS! Giant, Man-Eating Humanoids!!! ”

You looked at Levi as if he grew two heads.

“OH MY WALLS!!” He yelled before dragging you somewhere.

His grasp on your hand was so strong it would’ve leaved a bruise. He dragged you along the corridors passing cadets who gave you pity stares while you eyed them in confusion.

You and Levi ended up in a room where there was a crystalized blonde woman tied down there.

“THIS IS A TITAN SHIFTER!”

You sigh, “Levi... That’s just a girl trapped in a crystal,” You paused putting your hands on his shoulders, “Do you need to see a psychiatrists?”

He stared at you irritated, his vein was practically popping out of his head now. He shoved your hands off his shoulder, “I think you’re the one who needs one,”

“I have proof that I have powers Levi. I’m a pro hero along with Endeavour and Hawks,” You paused taking a breath, “But you yelled to me about walls, Man eating creatures, you even brought me down here in a creepy looking brick made basement to show me a girl trapped inside ice or something,”

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs a psychiatrists, Levi” You tried to sound reassuring but Levi was fuming. He began to drag you again. This time he stopped in front of a boy with emerald eyes.

“EREN! GET OUT AND TRANSFORM!” Levi yelled at the poor boy who was cleaning.

“Yes Sir!” The emerald boy went outside, far outside in a middle of a steady grassy field and both of you followed behind him.

We were a few feet away from the guy Levi called “Eren” And waited.

Eren bit his hand and a yellow lighting came. You stared with wide eyes that looked like they were going to pop out of your head. The smoke cleared out and you saw a giant. You didn’t realize that you held Levi’s hand tight while you watched the boy coming out of the giant’s nape. The giant looked like it was evaporating. A girl with black hair and a red scarf came from no where and zipped through the sky to get the boy out.

You took a really Really deep breath... “Cool,” You said, “You have a giant shifting quirk,” Eren and the girl with the red scarf approached the both of you.

“I like your quirk, Eren. Now may I borrow your phone?” You asked the boy.

Eren and the girl looked at you confused. You were about to add a comment but before you could Eren asked, “What’s a phone?”

‘Oh.’

You took another deep breath and simply asked, “What year is it?”

“847,” He answered.

“Ah... I see...” You mumbled, “Quirks started at 2060,”

“You’re from the future?” Eren questioned.

He was starting to approach you slowly before he was pulled back by the girl telling him I might be dangerous.

“It’ll be fine Mikasa! Captain Levi’s holding her!” He reasoned.

“The brat apparently has powers. Show them,” Levi commanded.

You activated your quirk.

Eren’s and the gir- Mikasa’s eyes widen in amusement. Apart from titan shifting you were the only other with powers.

You plopped down on the grass and sighed, “If this isn’t permanent then I should be able to get out of here..”

“In the meantime get up,” Levi commanded, “If you wanna sit get to the barracks you filthy brat,”

Let’s just time skip~

It has been 4 weeks! AND YOU WERE STILL STUCK IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN YEAR! Good news though, You and Levi have been bonding a lot. Less arguments and more talking about what it’s like in your time. You were actually starting to like the guy. You got to learn more about him too. He’s a clean freak and he really likes tea. He suffers from insomnia and he lived in the undergrounds. You somehow felt safe around him even though you had powers.

You helped the Survey Corps killing titans with your powers and your new ability to swiftly use ODM gear. You managed to kill more than 10 titans in your first expedition which impressed some cadets.

Levi likes you, not in a romantic way (not yet) more in a ‘you’re my favorite cadet’ type of way. You cleaned better than others, you’re brave and do quick smart thinking, your skills impressed him and you make good tea. He’d always assign you to make his tea and bring it to his office now. You’d always end up having a good conversation too.

Bad news? You witnessed plenty of deaths. You were a hero, you were meant to save people but the thought of you being unable to save someone right in front of you was truly pain in your conscious. Levi would always comfort you about these deaths. Levi... He had made you forgot about the fight in with the Nomu. He distracted you from all your pain because whatever this feeling you have for him. It felt right. You didn’t even want to go back to your time now. You wanted to stay with him forever. You wanted to live in a world with him together in nothing but peace and comfort between the two. He was your soulmate and now you know why.

#levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi attack on titan #captain levi #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #attack on titan #MHA

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broccoliboix5peepeeman · 4 years

Note

Prompt: Class 1-A is tired of tododeku dancing around each other so they propose a little round of 7 minutes in heaven to try getting them together. Bonus: Shoto doesn't understand the game so he asks Midoryia to explain it when they're locked together.

Omg the drama, yessssss!

Ochaco was annoyed.

Granted, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. When Bakugou said something mean to Deku, she was ready to float that demon gremlin into space. When Mineta objectified her female classmates, she conjured the wrath of the whole universe to send him into oblivion. When people called Iida 'too robotic to have any real feelings', she responded by doing things the class rep definitely wouldn't approve of.

Yeah, Ochaco could get very irritated.

However, this time, it wasn't a rude comment or a perverted action that infuriated her. It was a lack of… Well, anything really.

She sat at the dining room table, ignoring her maths homework as she stared across the room and glared at Deku, who was sitting on one of the sofas, frozen in place as Todoroki napped next to him, resting his head on her friend's shoulder.

Ochaco knew the two liked each other. It was obvious from the way Deku talked about him and through the fact that Todoroki literally felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on him. Yet, neither of them would do anything about it!

She made eye contact with Deku and glared, as if to say, 'Do something, moron!' but he just shook his head and remained still. He could’ve at least wrapped an arm around him, or rested his head against him, but no. He had to be all flustered and awkward.

'Something has to be done.' She announced.

'I agree.' Jirou muttered, voice monotone as she twirled one of her earphone jacks around her finger. 'If I have to watch them dance around each other for much longer, I'm gonna lose my shit.'

'Right?!' Hagakure added, exasperated. 'I walked in on Todoroki waxing poetry about Midoriya's perfect freckles last week. I swear, I've never heard him talk so much. Even Yaomomo looked like she wanted to vomit.'

'What do we do though?' Ochaco sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

'We can't force them together.' A new voice spoke. 'But we can nudge them in the right direction.'

Everyone turned to watch as the back of a nearby desk chair swivelled around to reveal Ashido grinning at them. She was dressed in a suit with black sunglasses, stroking Koda's rabbit on her lap.

When they stared at her in question, she peered at them over the top of her glasses. 'I propose a game.'

'A game?' Jirou raised an unimpressed eyebrow, while Hagakure hummed excitedly.

'What kind of game?' Ochaco narrowed her eyes. As much as she was annoyed at them, Deku and Todoroki were still her friends.

'Gather around, girlies.' Ashido beckoned them closer, confidence ebbed from her very being. 'Allow Auntie Mina to show you the way.'

☀️🌙

The girls were quiet.

Izuku narrowed his eyes at them, gathered around the dining table as they whispered in hushed voices.

Too quiet.

Todoroki shifted slightly and Izuku quickly turned his attention away from his scheming classmates and to his best friend. He loved moments like this. Todoroki looked so peaceful and Izuku felt honoured that his friend trusted him enough to be so vulnerable around him.

He smiled softly, noticing the often hard lines of his face soften - an unguardedness that looked so out of place, yet had started to become increasingly familiar on Todoroki's features. Overwhelmed with emotion, Izuku wanted nothing more than to reach out and stroke his chubby cheeks, run his hands through silky hair, squeeze his arms around him and bring him closer.

But he didn't want to ruin things.

He knew Todoroki had a difficult home life. He had years of trauma to work through and Izuku was no different. He still flinched when he heard loud noises, just like Todoroki did when touched unexpectedly. Izuku also knew that he was Todoroki's first ever friend.

He couldn't risk destroying that by being selfish enough to tell him how he really felt.

'Hey, Deku-kun!' Uraraka sang, suddenly in front of them.

Izuku waved in greeting, before gesturing to Todoroki and urging her to be quiet.

She ignored him.

'Aw! Is Todoroki-kun asleep?' She batted her eyelashes innocently and Izuku mustered his biggest warning glare. 'Don't worry, Deku-kun! I'm glad actually, because I wanted to ask you, when do you plan on telling Todoroki-kun how you really feel about him?'

'Shhhh!!!' Izuku frowned and shook his head. 'Oh no. We're not doing this again, Uraraka-san.'

'Why not?' Her voice was sickeningly sweet. 'It's not like he can hear us.'

'It doesn't matter.' He whispered harshly. 'We've been through this. I'm not confessing because Todoroki-kun doesn't like me like that.'

'How do you know?'

'Because I'm me. No one feels that way about me.' Izuku sighed. 'And he doesn't care about romance stuff anyway! He’d totally freak out if I told him I wanted to hold his hand or kiss him-'

Todoroki suddenly twitched on his shoulder and Izuku almost launched himself into the air. Instead, he covered his mouth with his hand and stared at him in alarm.

He missed Uraraka's amused smirk.

'I'll hold your hand, Deku.' She spoke, smoothly, causing Izuku to shoot her a look. However, he quickly became distracted by the increase in temperature around him.

Is it getting hotter in here?

'Just kidding. I know you’re off-limits.’ His friend winked, before collapsing onto the arm of the sofa. ‘Anyway, I actually came over because me and the girls are organising a sleepover tonight and we want you and Todoroki-kun to come!’

‘I dunno, Uraraka-san.’ Izuku bit his lip.

‘Oh Deku-kun...’ Uraraka smiled playfully and crossed her arms. ‘Were you under the impression that this was an optional invitation?’

Izuku stared into determined hazel eyes and gulped.

☀️🌙

Shoto wasn’t quite sure how he got himself into this position.

One moment, he was asleep on Midoriya, having a lovely dream where his friend admitted to Uraraka that he wanted to kiss him, and the next, he was sitting in a circle with the rest of his class, waiting while Mineta and Bakugou stood in a broom cupboard together.

Shoto wasn't entirely sure what the point of that particular game was, but he'd learnt long ago not to question his classmates' antics. Plus, he had more important issues to focus on, like the fill-in game Ashido had decided to start between each pair-up. Apparently, everyone had to raise their hands, while the speaker admitted to never having done something before. Then, if you had done it before, you had to lower a finger.

Shoto wasn't sure what happened when you ran out of fingers.

'Never have I ever been walked in on by my parents.' Jirou smirked.

Several people lowered a finger, including Shoto. After all, his father never had learnt the concept of knocking. Privacy was non-existent in the Todoroki household.

'Woah, dude! You're telling me Endeavour has walked in on you jerking one off?' Kaminari sputtered.

'What?' Shoto raised an eyebrow. 'He used to walk in my room all the time when I was studying or napping. Yeah, I called him a jerk because of it, but-'

'It's okay, Todoroki-kun. Ignore him.' Midoriya laughed nervously. 'You can put your finger back up.'

'But-'

'Never have I ever broken a bone in my body.' Uraraka interrupted with a giggle. Shoto hummed suspiciously but let the matter go this time.

'URARAKA-SAN!' Midoriya exclaimed. 'How could you? This is a betrayal of the highest form.'

'Suck it up, Osteoporosis.' She stuck her tongue out and waited. Over half of the room, once again including Shoto, lowered their fingers.

'Fine, be that way.' Midoriya mumbled, before stroking his chin in thought. 'Never have I ever-’

'HAS IT BEEN SEVEN MINUTES YET?!' Bakugou suddenly roared from inside the closet, promptly silencing Midoriya. 'I swear, even an unconscious grape bastard can be annoying as fuck!'

'You knocked him out?!' Uraraka gasped, smacking her cheeks, before her face became eerily stoic. 'Good.'

When Bakugou was finally released, along with a limp Mineta, she then turned back to the circle and handed the empty bottle to Midoriya.

'Your turn, Deku-kun!' She sang. Shoto noticed how his friend turned bright red at the declaration. 'Come on, spin it!'

'O- Okay, fine!' He stuttered, taking it from her with shaking hands. After he placed it back in the centre of their circle, he flicked it with his wrist and it began spinning quickly.

Shoto narrowed his eyes when the bottle cast a small shadow as it rotated, but he quickly became distracted when the bottleneck suddenly came to an abrupt stop in front of him.

'Well, would ya look at this!' Ashido gasped dramatically. 'Midoriya, Todoroki! Give us your phones and get in the closet!'

'Wait!' Midoriya exclaimed, but he was promptly silenced when Uraraka pounced on him, stole his phone and carried him to the storage room, throwing him over her shoulder like he weighed nothing.

Shoto looked at the rest of the class, sighed and handed Hagakure his phone, before he followed his classmates, significantly more civilised than Midoriya, who was flailing around and shouting for Uraraka to put him down.

'Whatever you say, Prince Deku.' She smirked, before opening the door and throwing him into the small room. When he landed with a thud, she gestured for Shoto to follow.

The moment they were both inside, the door slammed shut behind them and they were surrounded by darkness.

'Are you okay, Midoriya?' Shoto asked as he heard his friend clamber to his feet.

'Yeah, yeah. I've had worse.' Midoriya laughed, before his tone became more sombre. 'Ugh, Todoroki-kun, I'm so sorry about this.'

Why was he sorry?

'It's okay.' He shrugged. 'I know they took our phones but we don't have to stay in the dark.'

'Wait, no. Todoroki-kun, I didn't mean-'

Shoto raised his left hand and conjured a small flame, which illuminated the broom cupboard. Cylindrical shadows cast upon the walls, dancing slightly as his fire flickered. The action also allowed Shoto to glance at Midoriya, who rubbed the back of his neck nervously. A harsh flush decorated his cheeks.

'Are you sure you're okay? You look hot.' Shoto reached out a cool hand to check his friend's forehead.

'Ah!' He felt slightly hurt when Midoriya jumped back. 'I'm f- fine, really! I'm just… Sorry for dragging you into this.'

Yeah, about that…' Shoto looked away and scratched his cheek. 'What exactly is this?'

Midoriya somehow managed to turn even redder.

'W- Well, I didn't th- think you'd ask that-' He covered his face with his hands and began mumbling to himself about how they were friends and something about crushing someone.

Shoto was very confused.

'No, what's this 7 Minutes in Heaven game we’re supposed to be playing?' Shoto raised an eyebrow. 'I don't actually understand why we're in here, but I didn’t want to ask the others.'

The mumbling stopped. Midoriya's head shot up and he looked at Shoto with watery eyes that reflected the light of his orange flames.

'O- Oh…' He looked momentarily relieved and let out a laugh. 'That… Makes more sense. Ignore me!'

'But I asked you a question?' Shoto tilted his head to the side. 'There would be no point asking if I ignored you.'

'I… I didn't mean… Oh nevermind!' Anxiety came flooding back to Midoriya's face. 'Okay, so basically two people get randomly picked to go into a small space together for seven minutes - but you already knew that, huh? Of course you did. Right so, there's no set rules for what we're meant to do in here, we can technically do whatever we want, but usually, the two people selected have to… Er…’

‘Yes?’ Shoto pressed.

He watched as Midoriya twirled a loose strand of hair around his finger and narrowed his eyes.

‘We’re expected to k- ki- kiss and stuff.’ He finally answered. ‘The game’s designed to get people together romantically.’

‘Oh...’

'Not that we have to kiss or anything!' Midoriya scrambled to clarify, frantically waving his hands in front of him. 'I don't want to make you do anything you're not comfortable with and I totally understand that you don't want to kiss me!'

'I never said I didn't want to kiss you.' Shoto frowned. He actually quite liked the idea of kissing Midoriya. He was brave, kind, attractive and someone incredibly special to Shoto. He’d never wanted to kiss someone or hold their hand before, not until Midoriya came into his life. Now, the idea was rather appealing.

‘Well, no… But I just sort of assumed-’

‘Do you want to?’ Shoto suddenly blurted out, before he could stop himself.

Midoriya’s eyes widened.

‘Do I want to what?’

‘Kiss me. Do you want to kiss me?’ Shoto clarified, shuffling on his feet. Heat flooded to his cheeks and his stomach felt funny, but all he could focus on was the surprised look Midoriya flashed him, as he searched Shoto’s eyes questioningly.

‘Y- Yes...’ He stuttered out, taking a step closer.

Shoto mirrored the action.

'Good, because I want to as well.'

Izuku smiled at that and found Shoto's free hand, tentatively intertwining his fingers with his own calloused ones.

Shoto swallowed at the contact, familiarising himself with how much warmth such a small touch could radiate. 'Kiss me.'

He watched as Midoriya drew closer, regarding him through heavy-lidded eyes as he reached up. Shoto felt the pad of a rough thumb stroke his cheek and immediately leant into the touch, eyelashes fluttering.

'With pleasure.' Midoriya's breath fanned against him and Shoto inhaled sharply when those wonderful lips finally met his own.

His flame burnt ever brighter and Shoto quickly extinguished it before it could grow out of control. When darkness surrounded them once more, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to be completely consumed by the feeling of slightly chapped lips pressing against his own. He had no idea what to do next, but when Midoriya opened his mouth and licked at the seam of his lips, Shoto eagerly parted them in response.

As they deepened the kiss, he let go of Midoriya's scarred hand and wrapped his arms around his waist instead, pulling him closer as his friend tangled his fingers in his hair. A slight tug at his roots had Shoto gasping into Midoriya's mouth.

Feeling bold, he snaked his hands under his friend's shirt and explored his toned torso with half-hot half-cold hands. The juxtaposition in temperature coaxed a string of moans from Midoriya, which sent shivers down Shoto's spine. Hoping to hear more of those wonderful noises, he proceeded to drag his nails down a freckled back, eliciting a guttural sound that he'd never heard from Midoriya before. However, it was quickly swallowed by another kiss.

When Shoto's hands eventually came to rest on his hips, Midoriya pushed him back until he hit the locked door with a thud.

'Fuck, Midoriya.' He barely had time to whisper before those lips were on him again.

It was all moving so fast, but he didn't care. Shoto had gotten a taste of Midoriya and now he was addicted. He craved more and more.

'Is this okay?' His friend asked between each peck of lips.

'Mm, perfect.' Shoto bent forward to mouth at Midoriya's neck. He sucked at the sensitive skin there, not caring if he left a mark.

'This goes without saying, b- but I- ah!' Midoriya panted, tilting his head to give Shoto more access. 'But I really- really like you, Todoroki-kun.'

Shoto pulled off him with a pop and kissed a trail along his jaw, before his lips came to rest against Midoriya's own, their breath intermingling.

'I like you too, Midoriya.' He whispered, rubbing their lips together as his back rested against the door. 'So much.'

Their chests heaved in tandem as they kissed once more, simply enjoying the feel of one another. Touching and smelling and tasting. Shoto had never felt so at peace...

Then the door opened.

Shoto latched onto Midoriya out of reflex as the two of them fell backwards. Calloused hands scrambled to cradle the back of his head, cushioning him when they landed on the floor with a loud thud, and Shoto had to marvel at Midoriya's inherent instinct to protect.

'Todoroki-kun, are you okay? Are you hurt?' He pulled back and cupped Shoto's cheeks to check him over.

'I'm fine, Midoriya.' He reached up to cover his hands with his own and smiled softly.

'Good.' His friend leant back down to kiss him languidly, ignorant of their classmates around them, who were stifling giggles.

'Wow, get a room, guys.' Kaminari heckled.

'We had one actually.' Shoto pointed out as his hands wandered lower. He squeezed Midoriya's ass through his shorts unabashedly, relishing in the small squeak he let out, followed by the jeers from their peers. 'Not our fault you guys decided to interrupt.'

'Bro!'

'Disgusting!'

'Put them things back where they came from or so help me!'

'Stupid Deku and Icyhot!'

'That's one way to come out of the closet, Deku-kun.'

Midoriya giggled quietly at that. Shoto had no idea what Uraraka meant, but he didn't mind. Instead, he just smiled softly and looked up into verdant eyes filled with mirth.

Perfect.

#tododeku #todoroki shoto #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #wingman ochaco #todoizu #todomido #dekutodo #lovely people #AgarJelly writes #i had major writer's block with this but i beat it!#kissing #7 minutes in heaven

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