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mlm-writer · 4 years

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Sex-Ed (Conner Kent x M!Reader)

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Pairing: Conner Kent (Y.J. ver.) x Male Reader (trans-friendly) Rating: Explicit Words: 1520 POV: Second Summary: Conner always finds videos online of things ‘normal people’ do and you like to indulge him, resulting in several origami projects, DIY shirts and whatnot. Then Conner discovers porn. Note: Conner and reader are both of age. Reader’s physical characteristics are not mentioned at all. ALSO I HAVE BEEN WRITING HIS NAME AS CONNOR BUT IT IS CONNER??? Part two here | part three Tags: bit of angst, smut, handjobs, kissing, first kiss, first time, Conner discovers what ‘gay’ means, the American school system is a joke, reader seems experienced and comfortable with sex, everything is consensual, past Conner x M’gann is mentioned, and porn

Eyes slowly fell closed as you tried to focus on your reading. A very boring recommendation from Bruce, but Dick convinced you to make it through the first 10 chapters to get to the fun bit. You almost thanked every deity you could think of when there was a knock on your door and you had a reason to abandon the book for now. “Come in!” You called out as you put the bookmark between the pages and closed the huge thing. You smiled when you saw Conner walking in, closing the door behind him. “Oh hey hot shot,” you greeted him as you turned your seat towards your bed.

Conner sat on his usual spot, left corner at the foot of your bed, feet resting on the box on the floor. “Hey, so I found another thing on the internet...” You laughed and leaned back, awaiting what you were going to do this time. You already snapped a watermelon in half with rubber bands, put some mentos in a cola bottle, made tie-dye t-shirts and whatnot. “It looked really fun and I already tried it on my own, but in the video I found they did it together and I think it will be more fun together.”

You held your hand out for his phone. He pressed play and handed it over. When your eyes fell on the screen, your throat went dry as a desert and you were unsure of how to react. You hardly watched a few seconds before pressing pause and looking at Conner. “Are you serious? You’re not fucking with me, right?” He looked at you with those innocent eyes and opened his mouth, but you did not need to hear the answer. You handed him back the phone.

“I’m sorry, is it weird? There is a whole bunch of videos like this on this website, so I thought…” “Conner, did you and M’gann not do things like this?” “Like what?”

“Sex?”

“But sex is male and female reproduction, right?”

You looked at him in silence for a long while. “Oh American school system, you have failed me once more and I finished high school ages ago. Bravo”, you muttered to yourself. Well, someone had to give him the Talk™ and since everyone else just seemed to decide to just not do that, it was left to you. “Conner, that video is what we call porn. In porn, people have sex.” You sat down next to him, putting a distance between you two as you try to not think of Conner jerking himself off. “And sex is not just between male and female, as you could see in the video you showed me. Sex is also not just about reproduction. Some do it for fun, but most do it with someone they love and I’m not one of those people that just have sex with random people for fun.”

Conner kept looking at you with those puppy eyes, nodding at your words. He put his phone down and took one of your hands in his. You swore your heart leaped into your throat as he stared at your hands. “I still would like to have sex with you and not just for fun.” He clenched your hand in his for a second. Your mind wiped itself as if you took a couple of shots of vodka, downed a bottle of NyQuil and then washed it all down with tequila. Apparently you took too long to answer, because Conner let go of your hand, apologised profusely and clumsily made his way to your door.

“Conner, wait.” He stopped on command. “You need to be straight up with me. I don’t want things to be weird between us. Why do you want to have sex with me?”

He looked away, hands fidgeting as he gathered his words. “Because I love you and not just as a friend, but I thought it was not possible, because we are both male.” You melted inside and motioned him over. He returned to sit next to you again. You took his hand, slowly gliding your hand over his arm to his shoulder, up his neck and across his jaw until you could cup his cheek.

“It’s called being gay and I so happen to be a master at it.” You chuckled, before leaning in and kissing him. Conner was no stranger to kissing it seemed. He easily got you lying on your bed, legs hanging off the edge as he hovered over you. His hands found yours and fingers intertwined as he took his time exploring your lips with his. He was a little shy with his tongue, but a little initiative from you and he seemed to know exactly what he was doing. When he seemed to be finally done, you were out of breath. He and his stupid super powers did not seem bothered at all. “Do you still want to have sex?” He nodded in response. “Ok, but just a handjob for now. Going all the way after our first kiss seems a little too soon.”

Conner looked at you with confusion. You sighed and pushed him off you. You hung off the bed, basically feeling Conner’s eyes on your ass as you got a bottle of lube from the box on which Conner rested his feet every time he entered your room. You crawled up the bed, resting with your back against the headboard, and spread your legs. You patted the space between them. “Come sit here with your back towards me.”

Conner seemed both wary and excited as he followed your instructions. You put the bottle of lube next to you, so your hands were free. “Close your eyes,’ you whispered into Conner’s ear. He shivered and obliged. You ran your hands up his strong thighs and over his hips. He shivered as your cold hands sneaked under his shirt and up his torso. You felt his hard abs and voluminous pecs with your fingers, scratching a little. You wrung a moan out of him as your fingers traced circles around his nipples. “Feels good?” Conner nodded, a sigh leaving his lips as he squirmed a little under your touch.

You let your hands roam for a while, noticing Conner’s bulge forming. You lifted the shirt over his head and mouthed at his exposed shoulder. Your hand moved down and cupped his bulge. He moaned as you ground your palm against it, while your other hand moved back up to pinch and rub a nipple. He squirmed in your touch, but made no effort to get away from it. Instead, he moved his hips and threw his head to the side, trying to get more friction, while also giving you more space to do as you pleased. “This is not what they were doing in the video,” he whined, clearly wanting more from you.

You chuckled as you gave his growing bulge a hard squeeze. “No, but it is more fun when you have a little build up.” Conner whined again and you took mercy on him. “Lift your hips up a little.” He followed instructions like a well-trained dog. You rid him off his jeans and underwear. Conner was semi-erect already. You reached beside you and took the bottle of lube. Just a little on your hands was enough for now.

Conner shuddered as your hand came in contact with his length. You stroked him slowly, keeping a loose grip to not overwhelm him too soon. However, it proved to just be excruciating teasing for him. He bucked into your hand, getting quite vocal as he fucked it, steadily getting harder. You responded by turning your grip firmer. His head rested on your shoulder, eyes closed. When he finally opened them, your breath hitched. He looked so vulnerable like this. “Kiss me, please,” he moaned. How could you deny him? You tilted your head so your lips connected. Conner moaned into your mouth as you ravaged him with your mouth on his. One of his hands landed on your wrist, the loose grip signalling you he was close and did not want you to stop under any circumstance.

You twisted your hand a little, polishing his cock with your hand, precum making the glide slick. Conner tilted his head away from yours and his free hand came up to cover his mouth. You still heard him though, screaming sounds of pleasure as he covered your hand in his thick cum. You stroked him through it, being gentle as you awed at the volume he could spill. Once he was no longer spasming in your grip, you let go of his cock and rested your hand on his cum-covered lower abdomen. “You good?” You chuckled as you used your clean hand to push some hair out of his eyes.

Conner nodded and for a change he was actually panting. His stamina was so incredible, you hardly ever got to see him exhausted like this. “Yes, just… It is a lot better to do this than just watch others do it.” You chuckled and kissed his temple.

#conner kent #superboy #Young Justice #Titans #conner kent x male reader #male reader #trans male reader #young justice x reader #young justice x male reader #conner kent x reader #superboy x reader #superboy x male reader #titans x reader #titans x male reader #reader insert #you #y/n

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goldenchan-fx2thepeacock · 3 years

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Quick AU where Danny stays in town during Girls Night Out

Yeah, random thoughts spring into brain. Danny is trans. I think that's enough background info. Also, Tumblr got a new post editor, so I'm betaing it right now.

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Danny was supposed to go fishing with his dad. But something came up. AKA, Vlad wanted him to go visit him without Danny. So Danny was in Amity Park when he was supposed to be having dad bonding time. What could he say? His dad got that dumb book and everything. It was gonna be epic. Except stupid Vlad had to go and ruin everything. Whatever. Dad said they would go next weekend.

The first big issue was when Tucker disappeared. And he didn't. Might've been a dumb ghost thing. So he and Sam went to find stuff out. Except all the men in town were gone. It was glaring. "I-I'm sure it's nothing Danny!" Sam said nervously. "Yeah. It's gotta have been a stupid mistake. Maybe I'm immune cause I'm half ghost," Except there weren't any male ghosts either. "Yeah, that's gotta be it!" That when they heard Ember. "OH YEAH! NO MORE PESKY GUYS! IT'S A GIRL'S NIGHT OUT!" "Yes. You know, I'm surprised that worked. I was afraid it might've been a ghost only thing," Spectra drawled. "Of course it worked. The superior gender always prevails," Kitty replied. "And that's obviously female," Every vein in his body was pounding. "I think you might've confused sex for gender ladies," Sam said patiently. "We're not having sex!" Ember laughed. "You do realize how invalidating this can feel for trans people?!" Sam shrieked back. "If they're still here, that means it's a she," Spectra grinned. That was the last straw. He ran. As fast as he could. And for a half ghost that was fast. Once he got home, he slammed the door.

Sam saw Danny run off and knew how this was looking for him. "Isn't this rich? The ghost boy is really a girl," Kitty grinned. "I'm surprised I didn't notice sooner," Spectra laughed. Ember stayed oddly quiet for someone who was normally boisterously loud.

Danny curled in on himself. Herself. NO! Don't second guess yourself. It change the fact that it hurt. "All the men in town are gone!" He heard Jazz yell. "I realize that Jazz. Thank goodness your father is out of town," Mom sighed. "Wait, but Danny isn't! I really hope..." She was standing in his doorway. "FUCKING GHOSTS!" Jazz didn't swear. She never swore. "What is it Jazz? Oh. Danny, I'm so sorry," Mom pulled him into a hug. "I'll be fine," He grumbled. "Do you know which ghosts?" Jazz decided to change the conversation. "Spectra, Kitty and Ember," "Great. Spectra is going to use this horribly," Jazz grumbled quiet enough that only Danny could hear. "Listen, we have to get the guys back first," "Wait, if you're, that means any trans women in Amity are stuck there," Mom said. "Can we not talk about that? I'm seriously not in the mood," "At least pesky Phantom won't be here to get in the way," Jazz and Danny exchanged a look. Sam came bursting in. "Danny! Okay, I am going to make them even deader than before," Sam cracked her knuckles. "I'm fine Sam. Let's just find a way to fix this," "I have an idea!" Jazz said. "No," Danny, Sam and Mom said in unison. "Oh come on. Don't be like that. Not all my plans are bad," Jazz protested. "Speaking from experience (of being trapped in a thermos way too much for one night), that is completely untrue," "What was that about thermoses Danny?" Mom said. "Jazz put soup in my Fenton Thermos!" "I couldn't tell them apart! We really need to label things," "Like with a massive sticker that say Fenton?" "All our stuff has those!" "Fair enough," Danny conceded. It was the plan if anyone caught them talking about getting trapped in thermoses. It made sense because it actually happened. "Well, since Jazz's plan is out, I opt that we figure out how this whole thing happened," Mom said. "It's a combo between Kitty and Ember. Kitty has this thing that makes men disappear into another dimension. And Ember must've used her guitar to make it cover all of Amity. If we don't get them out in twelve hours, they'll be stuck there forever," "And I will have to resign to a life of raging dysphoria," "You were gonna have that anyways," "Times ten. This won't help anyways, but it won't be all bad," "Let's stop talking about you being trans. Danny, you're staying here," Jazz winked. He knew what that meant. They would get all the men back and Danny would keep the ghosts at bay. "Okay. So, from what they were blabbing, all we have to do is get them to do it again," Sam said. Once they had a plan in place, all they had to do was implement it. They left and Danny quickly transformed. Praying that Spectra wouldn't find a way to use this against him, he sped off. "Hey! Poo faces! I'm not gone, and it semi pisses me off!" He screamed. "Oh now sweety. Why would you want to leave behind the superior gender?" Spectra said. "Because it makes me feel horrible and like I was born wrong," "You were, weren't you," Don't let Spectra sink her claws in Fenturd! "Yeah, maybe I was, but if I work hard enough I can fix it," "How is Danny Phantom still here?" He heard Paulina say. Nope, not listening. "They're all going to know. You can't do anything about that," Spectra laughed evilly. "Now girls, follow the recipe! You too now," "I'm. NOT A GIRL!" The wail was probably ill planned, but Danny wasn't thinking straight. Shit, humans. He cut himself off. "Oh come on now. No matter how many times you tell yourself that, you still have to cover parts of yourself. Don't tell me you don't wake up every morning and wish you were a real boy?" "I am. I am a real boy. I just have to take a few extra steps to get there," "Oh come on now. Stop lying to yourself. Maddie, how can you possibly call these eggs? They're green," Okay, maybe dealing with Spectra first was a bad idea. But she was also taunting his mom. Deal with Ember. She must be better than this.

So he flew to a stage. Ember was rocking out with a bunch of girls. Sam was in the background. This was probably one of the less dangerous problems. "Listen, if you're going to taunt me for the fact that I'm still here, do it already," "Hey, listen kid. I'm not actually going to taunt you. Kitty and Spectra are being complete jerks, but I'm not going to judge you for being trans," "Y-you're not?" "Heck no! I'm doing this because I wanted to have a fun night without guys. You included. I'll just have to take a few extra steps to get rid of you!" Danny dodged the guitar strum easily. "Are you planning on bringing them back at the end of the night?" "That's really up to Kitty," "I guess," Sam could deal with Ember.

Next up was Kitty. Oh great, makeup. (I honestly forget what Kitty was doing, so makeup works) "Now girls. All you gotta do is apply the bronzer like so!" "Kitty! How would Johnny feel if he knew you were doing this?" "Oh come on now Ghost girl, you can't be serious. Johnny is having a guys night in all due time," "HEY! Don't you dare. Transphobia doesn't help anyone," Jazz yelled. "Oh stop complaining. She knows she doesn't belong with the guys. From the looks of it, Spectra's already gotten to you. This'll make this so much easier,"

The plan backfired immensely. Danny and Mom were a mess, Sam didn't manage to get the guitar, and Jazz just got in a debate with Kitty. Danny, having to keep up a facade, came downstairs. "How'd it go?" "Terribly. Though, I did learn the Ghost Boy is trans," Mom said. "Fascinating," "It's, well it's oddly human. Why would a ghost even bother?" "Turns out gender dysphoria comes to the grave," "Danny, this is no time for one of your morbid jokes," Yeah, maybe it was morbid, but it wasn't a joke. "Whatever. I guess we get to use Jazz's plan," "All we gotta do is convince them that a cis guy is still in town. Like wandered in after the disappearing act," "Great plan. Sam can't pretend to be me though," "How did you know I was going to do that?" "Lucky guess,"

So that's how Jazz ended up wearing a baseball cap and a pair of men's jeans into Ember's concert. "Did we really have to use a pair of dad's jeans? These barely fit," "You know, the fact that they fit at all should be surprising. Dad was skinny at one point in his life. Which means that one of us could be on his end of the gene pool," "It's probably you," "Don't make me think about that. Hiding what little chest I have is hard enough. If I got dad's genes, I'd honestly be terrified," "We haven't seen the women on his side of the family. And besides, you got the blue eyes black hair thing," "You are honestly scaring me. Now, I gotta scram before someone sees me talking to you. Mom or the ghosts," "Fair,"

And thus, the plan worked. Kitty, adamant that no men be left in Amity, blew another kiss. Ember amplified it. The men came back. The three got thermosed. Jazz laughed at their faces when they honestly though she was from out of town. Danny once again didn't get taken, even in ghost form.

Tucker and Sam found him curled up in his bed. "Hey man. I know this has gotta be tough for you," Tucker said. "Spectra had no right!" Sam continued. "Thanks guys. But I think I'm gonna take a few days off school," The trio heard Dash's voice outside. "Hey mom. I know what happened was scary. And I know it must've felt really bad, but I still see you as my mom," "Thanks Dash. I can always count on you to make me feel better," A woman's voice rang out. Danny looked over the window sill. "See Danny. It's not horribly weird. Just a few transphobic ghosts," Tucker laughed. "A couple," "What?" Sam and Tucker said in unison. "Ember isn't," "How do you know that?" "I talked to her," "Hey Fenturd! Don't you dare tell anyone about my mom! And don't be mean to her! I'm sure you wouldn't get it," "You'd be surprised Dash!" He grabbed his trans flag and hung it out the window. "I get it more than you seem to think!" Dash's mom smiled at him. "Y-you're trans? I thought you were just a loser!" "Yeah, and I had to talk to the transphobic ghosts. So I won't invalidate your mom!" Dash stared up at him. "Holy shit,"

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Praying that this uploads, cause I've got shoddy internet rn. And I'm working on my Gravity Falls crossover fic. I just had this pop into my mind. Prolly just gonna be a oneshot. I might make another fic about Jack's side of the family later, that's connected to this one.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #sam manson #tucker foley #dash baxter #trans!danny #trans!dash's mom #maddie fenton #kitty (ghosts)#ember mclain #phic #penelope spectra #tw:transphobia #tw: gender dysphoria #jazz fenton

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flamencodiva · 4 years

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Who Do You Think You Are? 1

Description: Y/N Y/L/N and Dean Winchester seem to bump into each other quite frequently. What happens when these two hunters rub each other the wrong way?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Bingo Square: Free Space

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Mentions of Child Neglect, Mentions of Drug Abuse.

The familiar thud of a head falling to the floor echoed along the empty barn. The figure looked around, slowly stepping over the fallen bodies on the floor looking for any more. Cleaning their machete they were about to leave when the barn door creaked open. The figure hid quickly as two tall men entered the barn. They stalked around before a gruff voice filled the empty air.

“Did someone beat us to it?” his voice echoed, “Son of a bitch! Garth said no other hunters were in the area!”

The figure pushed off the wall, their machete glistening in the dim light. “Sorry was this your hunt? I saw a girl get dragged in here and just went to town.”

The two men watched as the figure walked into a brighter light before them. Dean froze as the figure before them was a woman. Dean looked at her up and down, the Led Zeppelin shirt under her flannel, a crop top showing her toned stomach just a bit.

“Yeah this was our hunt,” Dean huffed, “Who the hell are you?”

“Y/L/N… Y/N Y/L/N, “ she walked over and held out her hand to him only for him to ignore it.

Sam, on the other hand, took it and gave her an apologetic smile.

“I’m Sam and this is my brother Dean,” he motioned to grumpy.

“The Winchesters?” she looked between Sam and Dean, “Well, I guess I can see how you are exactly as people describe.” she looked at Sam before looking at Dean, “but you… I thought you’d be cuter… you look a little stumpy to me,” she shrugged earning a chuckle from Sam who stopped abruptly after one look from Dean.

“Yeah… uh, look whatever you name was, this was supposed to be our hunt,” Dean walked up to her crossing his arms. “You had no right to take it from us.”

“Oh? I had no right to save a girl from being monster food? Is that what you’re saying?” She placed her hand on her hips and raised her eyebrow at him. “And who the fuck do you think you are to tell me where I can and can’t hunt, huh?” she poked at his chest.

“Did you just poke me?” Dean growled as he towered over her.

“What if I did?” she challenged him back.

“You are really getting on my nerves,” he clenched his jaw cheek twitching.

“Oh no,” she placed her hand on her cheek, “I got on the big bad Dean Winchester’s nerves,” she rolled her eyes and pushed past him, her shoulder bumping into his.

Dean gaped at her as she walked out of the barn. He clenched his fists as she walked away.

“Who the hell does she think she is?” Dean growled to Sam.

“Well, from what I’ve heard, she’s a damn good hunter and the proof is the bodies all around us,” Sam said as he looked around.

“Yeah well I don’t like her,” Dean huffed, “she’s reckless and cocky and…”

“A lot like you,” Sam interjected as he raised an eyebrow at his brother.

“She is nothing like me!” Dean argued as he looked at Sam. “For one I am sure I have WAY more experience than she does. And I also don’t just…”

“Go off on your own and kill a dozen vamps?” Sam placed his machete in the trunk as Dean gave his little brother his best bitch face.

“I was under a very, very, very old curse,” Dean defended as he climbed into the driver's side. “Let's just go try and hustle some money at the local pool hall.”

With that Dean turned up the radio, to Sam’s dismay, and made his way to the local dive bar that was up the road. Heading inside, Dean made a beeline for the bar ordering a shot of whiskey. The familiar sounds of pool balls breaking music to his ears.

Dean looked over at Sam after he asked the bartender for a refill, “what’s our cash look like?”

“Pretty low,” Sam sighed. “Might need to hustle up some… or I could you know get a job for a short time?”

“Takes too long,” Dean chuckled, “besides, we’re good at… you have got to be kidding me?”

Sam followed Dean’s gaze and let out a small laugh, “Wow, we meet up with her, at two places in one night, what are the odds?”

“Not good,” Dean grumbled as he downed his second shot of the night and ordered another one. “I’m going to go hustle us some money,” he turned away from Sam and made his way towards the pool tables.

It wasn’t hard for Dean to find gullible frat boys - and with that, won them an easy three grand Once they left he leaned back against the railing and watched as Y/N hustled some bikers out of five grand. A thought came across his head, he could definitely beat her at pool. He‘s Dean Winchester, and he wasn’t going to fall for her body language. He observed her closely. She had used her body to distract the men, who didn’t seem to mind that they lost to a girl, mostly due to her flirting. Once it was clear, Dean walked over to her and sighed.

“That was really dirty what you did,” he shook his head while sipping on his whiskey.

“No dirtier than you hustling the frat boys,” she put her cue down and placed her hand on her hip, “what do you want Winchester?”

“Figure you and I could play,” he shrugged, “winner takes all?”

“You want to play me?” she raised an eyebrow at him, “what’s the catch besides the cash?”

“No catch,” he held his hands up, “just the cash.”

“Wow,” she clicked her tongue as she eyed him up and down, “you really are a cocky bastard.”

“Just rack them up, sweetheart,” Dean taunted.

“It’s your money you’re gonna lose,” she paused to stare him down, “sweetheart.”

Dean watched as she racked up the balls and motioned for him to break.

“Solids or stripes?” he voiced.

“Solids,” she leaned on her cue as she waited for him to break.

Dean broke and started the game. It didn’t take long before he realized he was losing. She had sunk solid after solid when he only sank one striped ball. It was nearly impossible, but she did it. He was hoping that she wouldn’t sink the eight ball. He watched as she lined up her shot and gave him a devilish smirk before hitting the cue ball and sinking it the corner pocket.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean swore as Y/N laughed.

“And that is how you play pool Losechester!” she sassed, “now I believe you owe me ALL of your cash.” she trailed her fingers up his chest before tapping his nose.

Pushing her hand away he looked to Sam who frowned at him before handing over the cash. “Take it, bitch,” he grumbled.

“Wow, you are a sore loser,” she walked over to Sam and handed him two grand. “Don’t let him spend it all.” she chuckled as she grabbed her leather jacket and began to walk away.

Dean grabbed the cash from Sam’s hand and chased after her. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he turned her around harshly.

“You won the fucking cash take it. Don’t be a smug bitch about it,” Dean snarled as he shoved the cash into her hand.

“And who the fuck said I was being a smug bitch?” Y/N snapped back as she took the money and pressed it against his chest. “Just because you have a reputation doesn’t mean you are better than me, asshole.” she poked at his chest making him walk back. “How many female hunters do you really think are out here, huh? Not that many, know why? Because of smug assholes like you. Get off your fucking high horse and accept the fact that I cleared out a nest before you got to it, and stop acting like a fucking cry baby.”

“I don’t know where you came from,” Dean huffed as he grabbed her wrist and pushed her hand away from him. “But if I catch you on one of my hunts again… you are not going to like me.” he threatened.

Y/N walked back and laughed, “I’m shaking in my hunter boots Winchester.” she turned around and walked to her cherry red Pontiac Trans Am and drove off.

“Dean, what did you just do?” Sam ran a hand over his hair as he watched the Pontiac disappear in the distance.

“Next time I see her I’m going to show her who’s the better hunter… and the better pool player.” Dean fixed his jacket and grabbed the cash from the ground. “Let’s go, Sammy, we have more hunts to find.”

“Chuck, if you can hear me… I am begging you… don’t let these two get themselves killed,” Sam pleaded into the sky before making his way to the Impala.

In the back of Dean’s mind, he couldn’t shake the thought of Y/N Y/L/N. What he didn’t realize was that she had made an impression on him. One that he would try to ignore.

#Who Do You Think You Are?#spndeanbingo #Dean Bingo 2019-2020 #Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester fic #Supernatural #Supernatural Fan Fiction #Dean Angst #Angry Dean

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deans-baby-momma · 5 years

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Rebel Without A Cause- Ch 16

A/N: For those of you who didn’t get to see the NSFW document that I can not post on Tumblr, here is the link for that.

Dean Winchester is a certified goddamn asshole! Plain and simple. He had been cognizant of how she had been treated growing up, yet he still used her for his own entertainment. What Maggie had thought was a connection and sweet intimacy had just been another way for him to have his fun. Maggie had felt loved, cherished, and treasured when what conspired between them was nothing but carnal coitus, pure fornication. Him allowing that man, the drummer of the band, to watch as they had sex was more than Maggie could handle.

She isn't a prude, although some might think she is from her style and behavior, but knowing that there had been an audience when she was at her most vulnerable is unsettling; him knowing that they were being watched, painful.

The tears flowed the whole way back to her motel and as soon as she gets into her room she stripped her clothing, planning to burn the offending garments and takes a shower with the water as hot as she could stand. Maggie scrubs until her skin is raw, all the while the tears keep streaming down her face. She swears that she’s going back to work, telling Mr. Singer that she isn't able to get the story he wants, and if she loses her job then so be it.

ONE MONTH LATER

Maggie’s cell rings again for the thousandth time in a week. She refuses to answer, knowing who’s on the other end.

Since her story had been published, her phone rang constantly. Publishers of other daily and weekly magazines offering jobs and positions at their facilities. She had been answering those and politely declining the proposals. But then this one number kept calling; it was one she had happily-at the time- added to her contact list. Now, she regretted ever exchanging that information with Dean fucking Winchester.

She silences her phone and goes back to typing up her article for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert she had attended just the night before. After he got her feature story on the Winchester Sex Bombs, Mr. Singer had begun giving her editorials and feature pieces for entertainment expositions that were more her preference. Each article had received high praise from the public and Mr. Singer decided to keep her on staff.

He claimed not to be upset with the review on the Connecticut concert that she had turned in, but Maggie could tell her boss was not too happy with the picture that she had painted with her harsh words.

Jessica, the receptionist for the Ft. Garrison News, knocks on the wall before entering Maggie’s cubicle. “Hey,” the blonde says, smiling.

“Hey, Jess,” Maggie acknowledges. “What’s up?” She takes a moment to look up from her tablet to see the blonde holding a stack of notes.

Jessica Moore was working while going to college to become a personal injury lawyer, which Maggie found out over coffee in the breakroom one day. She had spoken to Jessica when she went to refill her cup and was feeling out of place since Jo was no longer speaking to her.

After her story had been written up, Maggie had asked Jo to go out for drinks and in a drunken rage, had told her everything- even about catching the drummer getting off to them, causing Jo to get extremely jealous and had quit speaking to her.

“These are yours,” Jess tells her as she hands the stack of notes to Maggie. “Some guy keeps calling for you. He doesn't leave a message, just says you know who he is and to please call. He’s been calling every hour for days.”

Maggie takes the papers and places them on her desk. “Thanks, Jess. I’ll call as soon as I’m done here.”

Maggie glares at her phone as the ringtone fills the air. She knew he wasn’t going to give up until she answered so she took a sip of coffee and picked the device up, sliding the little green arrow across the screen.

“Margaret Fitzgerald speaking.”

“Mags, sweetheart,” Dean’s voice glides through the earpiece. “You are one hard woman to get ahold of.” She could hear the smile in his speech. She also knew that she was about to take that smile right off his face.

“What do you want, Dean?”

“A chance to talk, to apologize. I fucked up. I know I did. Just give me a chance to explain.”

“So explain. Tell me why you thought it’d be a good idea to let your drummer watch us while we had sex?”

“That isn’t a conversation for the phone, sweetheart.”

His voice echoed as Maggie looked up to see Dean standing in front of her, his phone still held to his ear. She lowered her phone, turning it off and stared at him. She couldn’t believe he had come all this way just to talk to her. Dean slides his phone into his pocket and sits down in the chair across from her and put his elbows on the table between them.

“What do you want, Dean?” Maggie asks, exasperated. She can’t believe he has actually traveled all this way to come to talk to her.

Before Dean answers though, a female voice rings out. “Oh. My. God. You’re Dean Winchester!”

Maggie looks over to the entryway of the break room to see Jo practically vibrating with excitement. She rolls her eyes as Jo makes her way to their table, adjusting her shirt to pull the top down a little lower. “Hi,” she says as she comes to a still next to Maggie.

“Hello,” Dean says, clearly annoyed that they had been interrupted. But then he straightens up and puts a fake smile on his face. Although he is wearing sunglasses Maggie is sure that his dark olive eyes are full of irritation. She hides her amusement at his discomfort behind her mug.

Jo’s apparent display of fangirlism thrills Maggie as she watches her co-worker try her damnedest to keep Dean’s attention but the lead singer only has eyes for Maggie. After getting an autograph and a one-armed hug, Jo retreats from the break room but not before throwing an envious look over her shoulder at Maggie.

“So, sweetheart,” Dean grabs her attention. “Can we talk about that rather unflattering piece you put out about my band?”

Maggie sits her coffee mug onto the table and leans forward. “First off, I ain’t your sweetheart. Secondly, everything I said in that article was the truth. I’m sorry that I’m not one of your groupies who just overlooks your blatant disregard for others and will just spout out praise and compliments. Yea your music is good, I said that in my piece but the actions afterward overshadow everything on stage.”

“Swee-Mags….what will it take to change your mind? What can I do?”

“There is absolutely nothing you can do, Dean,” Maggie says, leaning forward onto the table. “You let him watch us!” she angrily whispers. “You knew I had issues with my self-awareness. You know my mom and Lisa chipped away my dignity. You heard their condescending remarks, you saw how it affected me but you still let your friend witness what I thought was something private, something personal between us. So no, there is absolutely nothing you can do to make me retract my story. If that is the only reason you came all this way, then I’m sorry you wasted your time.”

Dean leans forward and whispers,”And what if I tell you Lisa is the reason that I no longer have sex with just one person?”

Maggie balks at that. Is he trying to get her pity? Using her contention with her sister as a way to weasel out an explanation? She shakes her head and sits back, crossing her arms.

“Dean, don’t,” she says, the tears she is so desperately trying to cover evident. “Don’t say that. Don’t use that as an excuse. You two were in love. I saw it every day. I saw how you looked at her. How can you say that she’s the reason for-”

“This is not a conversation for the workplace break room. Maggie, let me take you out tonight. I’ll buy whatever you want and I will explain to you exactly how Lisa Braeden manipulated me too.”

“Mags, she condemned everything,” Dean reveals as they are waiting for their orders. Maggie had agreed to go out with Dean because she was curious about how Lisa had played Dean; how she had used his inexperience and gullibility to cause him to become who he is today. Having sex with multiple partners at the same time, being allowed to be observed while doing it.

“Every time we….we had sex, she complained about it. I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t satisfy her needs. Hell, she told me that my dick wasn’t big enough. She made me feel inadequate, like I was unworthy. So after we broke up, I swore that I would always have back-up. I would have someone else there to pick up the slack. I know that sounds horrible and obnoxious but in my juvenile brain, I believed her. She was my first and she was telling me that I was disappointing. It sure is a blow to the ego. I thought we were making love but she just wanted a decent fuck,” he stammers, a hand running across the back of his neck. “16-year-old me didn’t know what making love was. Hell, 26-year-old me didn’t know until a month ago. Maggie, what you and I did in that room was making love. I’m sorry that I ruined it by letting Benny in. Old habits are hard to break, I guess.”

Maggie understood all too well the effect of Lisa’s mockery and satire better than anyone. Lisa had began making fun of Maggie when she was 9 and Maggie was 7 and it only got worse once Lisa found out that she wouldn’t be disciplined for it; hell, even her own mother had joined in on the ridiculing.

“Dean, I’m sorry you went through that,” Maggie sincerely admits. She can truly empathize with Dean because she had also been on the receiving end of Lisa's humiliation. “Let me be the first one to say though that you have no problems in that area. I was completely and utterly satisfied and fulfilled. You sure know what you’re doing in that department,” Maggie mutters as she feels a blush bloom on her cheeks.

@pink1031 @spnbaby-67 @winecatsandpizza @joseyrw @kricketc28 @tftumblin @markofdean79 @sandlee44 @michellethetvaddict @lyarr24

#dean winchester #SUPERNATURAL AU #dean winchester au #rockstar!dean #reporter!reader #rockstar!dean x reporter!reader #Dean x OFC #lil bit of angst #lil bit of fluff #whole lotta smut #smutapalooza #e'erybody be fucking #my second foray into AUs #deans-baby-momma #rebel without a cause #maggie fitzgerald #dean x maggie

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bkdk-n-tasty · 5 years

Text

The hardest enemy to defeat is your own self-doubt

Look at that you guys, I made it all week with a finished piece! I’m so proud lol

Day 5: This day has no prompts, therefore you are free to do whatever you like!

With Pride month being last month and I meant to make this then, I figured I could do it for this prompt ♥

Please note that there is homophobic langue in this story, some internalized homophobia as well. If you’re triggered by that I suggest skipping this one.

Katsuki let out a huff as he watched the people in his living room move about as if they owned the place, he had half a mind to tell him to get out but he'd let them in, to begin with. His mood calmed a bit as Izuku shot him a grin, he looked fucking cute as hell. But that fucking dweeb always looked cute as hell in Katsuki's opinion. Izuku wore an actually kinda funny shirt for once instead of one of his stupid shirts, though it was mostly due to the fact he only had a small say in his outfit, though he did agree to wear it. Izuku wore a light gray shirt that read "It Ain't No Lie Baby I'm Bi Bi Bi", the letters a gradient of the bi pride colors and to top it off with some sweet talking from Katsuki he got Izuku to wear a pair of cute short shorts that showed off Izuku's fantastic legs.

Katsuki sighed quieter to himself as he closed the distance between him and Izuku. He felt kinda shy which was a fucking weird-ass emotion to feel when he was never shy. But this was the first time he was actually going out in public flaunting the fact he was gay, it wasn't a secret he was dating Izuku. The bombshell blond wore a dark gray V-neck that read "I can't even think straight", though he kept his normal back baggy jeans.

"You look good," Katsuki muttered as he got to Izuku. Izuku beamed up at Katsuki with that fucking cute smile that made Katsuki want to do just about anything for the younger boy.

"You do too, Kacchan," Izuku chirped as he held up the markers everyone was sharing to color their pride flags on their cheeks. "You ready for your face painting?" Katsuki tsk-ed but he nodded, tilting his head to the side to let the smaller boy streak the colors on his cheeks. In return, he did the same for Izuku. The two glanced back at their friends, it was a beautiful chaos.

Denki and Eijiro were helping each other, Denki was decked out with a bright blue tank top that if it wasn't catchy Katsuki wouldn't have paid much attention but he even snorted as he read "I'm Bisexual so I'm nervous around everyone" with a shy carebear graphic under it. Denki's cheeks wore the same colors as Izuku's. Eiji was just as eye-catching as his boyfriend as he wore a black chest binder with a pan pride unicorn with bright red skinny jeans, that Katsuki swore he'd seen in Izuku's closet at one point in time.

Then there was Momo and Jiro with Todoroki, helping him with his cheeks. Momo wore less flashy colors but had her cute bi and poly pins on her shirt, while Jiro wore an outfit almost identical to her normal outfit but instead of her normal black jeans she wore a skirt that bore the trans colors. Katsuki had honestly been caught off guard by that, he never imagined that she was trans but like the rest of their friends supported her nonetheless.

Iida was sitting patiently with his girlfriend and her girlfriend marking his cheeks with the demi-sexual flag. But Uraraka and Tsuyu both looked pretty proud with their handy work. Uraraka wore a relatively cute pale pink tanktop that said 'multitasking' with two female and one male stick figure above it. Tsuyu had chosen to wear a similar outfit that she normally wears, though it was a matching pale pink shirt that read in a dark violet 'I love my girlfriend'.

The only pair that was missing was Sero and Mina and the two planned to just meet them there. Which honestly Katsuki was grateful as his home felt like it was crowded as is. It took a while longer for the rest to finish up in the meanwhile Izuku had managed to pull Katsuki away so he could steal some kisses before they headed out.

"We're going to have so much fun," Izuku beamed excitedly, glancing between Katsuki and the rest of their friends. Katsuki tried to ignore his nerves as he listened to the others chat, his gaze stuck low and didn't meet people they passed. It was strange to Katsuki to be so open about his sexuality, it wasn't like he should feel ashamed or anything, he'd had supportive parents who both loved Izuku to bits and pieces. It was just something he tried to ignore.

"You okay?" Izuku asked quietly, jerking Katsuki's attention from his thoughts. He glanced down at the worried expression on his normally outgoing boyfriend.

"I'm fine," Katsuki huffed out but after a moment he said quieter for only Izuku to hear, "I guess I'm a little fucking worried…I don't know, it's stupid."

Izuku shook his head and carefully pulled Katsuki over so their friends could keep walking. "If you're nervous it's not stupid. What are you nervous about?" Izuku had managed to grasp Katsuki's other hand and with those damn eyes, Katsuki couldn't just lie and say it was nothing, that there wasn't anything he was worried about.

"I…I don't know," Katsuki finally admitted, his gaze flickering towards their friends who all were so damn supportive and loving. He really didn't have it bad so why was he so worried? The harsh words he remembered in junior high…They were the ones that rung out in the back of his mind, it wasn't anything he had said but other bullies had…and those words had been pointed at Izuku a lot. He finally looked back at Izuku, "I just want you to know I'm sorry. For the things in middle school. That I couldn't even leave you alone, or at the very least keep the others from picking on you…"

Izuku's smile faltered for a moment but he squeezed Katsuki's hands. "You've been forgiven Kacchan, you know that. Things were different then, we've come so far since then," Izuku smiled gently up at him. "You denied yourself to a lot of things at that point, but you don't have to worry about today. I'm with you. The real you, the one that makes me happy and feels loved, the one that protects me when I do dumb things to try and help others. The one that drags me to bed when I'm trying to run myself into the ground." Izuku was breathless after his word vomit but he meant every word of it and Katsuki knew that. "I love you Katsuki."

The angst-filled blonde finally nodded after a moment, a small smile broke across his lips. "You really do love me, huh?" That made Izuku snort but he kept that loving smile on his lips.

"Of course I love you." It was so obvious in everything Izuku did when it came to Katsuki, everyone could see that. With that Katsuki's smile grew and his body seemed to relax.

"I love you too, you nerd," Katsuki murmured, his cheeks heating up. He could handle holding hands in public but saying 'I love you' apparently got him flustered, and it was cute in Izuku's opinion. With that, they joined their friends and headed towards where Mina and Sero had gotten them a good spot to watch the parade. Katsuki really did relax with his friends once the parade started, watching all those people proudly strut their stuff made him feel really good. He even was able to build up the courage to kiss Izuku in public, in front of their friends and strangers. No one even thought twice about it or cared and that felt so good.

"I love you," Katsuki murmured against Izuku's lips before stealing a second kiss. Izuku had melted into the kiss and only after a few moments was able to pull himself away, but he didn't try and move away from Katsuki's embrace. No instead Izuku relaxed and leaned into Katsuki's chest as he watched the parade.

"We need to check out the seller's booth," Mina announced brightly when the parade had wrapped up. Izuku pulled Katsuki along as they headed towards the area that had been set up for people to sell homemade merchandise. The group was able to find a bunch of things they liked and bought, glad to help local artists. Izuku ended up with the most buttons rivaling Denki's, the two looked like kids with all the buttons.

Denki and Jirou lead the group towards the block that had been closed off so they could set up a dance area and pump out music that left even Katsuki wanting to dance. It was obvious in moments who the DJ was, Mic wouldn't pass up an event like this. And anyway, he was the best so of course, he wanted his community to have the most fun they could get.

Izuku and Katsuki were both laughing and clinging to one another. They honestly had the most fun they had in a long time on a date. Katsuki even admitting that Izuku was right, that he would have fun, that there really wasn't anything to worry about.

That was until they were leaving. The group was going to head back to Bakugou's to unwind and watch a few movies before dispersing for the night…Katsuki gritted his teeth as he saw the group at the edge of the fenced area.

Izuku stopped, throwing his arm out in front of his friends. "We are not going that way," Katsuki growled as he caught the red letterings on the signs, the ones that left him wanting to fight them all.

"What's up?" Eijiro asked, squinting ahead. As the redhead caught sight of the words on those ugly signs his smile dropped. "Are they…Are they serious?"

Iida squared his shoulders as he moved forward as if he would lead them past the hateful group of people. "They might be allowed to spew their ugly words but they are not allowed to touch us. We just need to pass them and ignore them," Iida said, looking over the group.

"It's easier said than done," Jirou frowned, leaning against Momo. It was strange to Katsuki to see Jirou who rarely showed fear to look as nervous as Katsuki felt.

"We have the numbers on our side," Izuku said, squeezing Katsuki's hand protectively. "And we all got strong quirks if they even do try something. We can defend ourselves."

After some debate going back and forth they eventually headed towards the exit. They wanted to go back and rest, the hate group couldn't physically touch them and that was what they kept telling each other. But it was hard to ignore their shouting and protesting.

Katsuki could feel his rage boiling in his blood as they got closer and closer to the loudest member, he had to be the leader. "You all are doomed to hell if you don't repent!" The blonde shot the man a glare that normally was reserved for villains and that seemed to only add fuel to the man's words. "You are going to hell!" He even pointed right at Katsuki with his free hand. That made Katsuki almost lose his shit but instead, he smirked at the man, pulling Izuku to him before dipping him and giving him a kiss in front of the group.

"You're only a jealous old man," Katsuki yelled back at the leader, "You're fuckin' jealous my boyfriend loves me and you're in a loveless marriage!" Katsuki's friends were quick to start to drag him away. They all knew once he was really angry that there would be some really ugly words passed back and forth.

"It's fine Kacchan," Izuku murmured softly up to Katsuki once they were far enough that they were less worried that Katsuki might start setting off explosions. "We'll go home and just cuddle and watch those dumb cheesy movies," Izuku continued softly, trying to calm the older man. Instead of the group hanging around their friends went home so they could just spend time together.

Once Izuku and Katsuki were home, the two managed to drag every single blanket they owned to the living room where they could build a nest of sorts on their couch. They were comfy under their blankets when Katsuki finally broke down, his face buried in Izuku's shoulder.

It was a rare moment when Katsuki broke down when he cried. Though it was only ever just Izuku that witnessed it, who Katsuki trusted not to make fun of him. To support him and help him feel better. Izuku rubbed at Katsuki's back, murmuring soft and loving words. It wasn't long before the blond exhausted himself, laying his head on Izuku's chest with the blanket pulled up over his head, just enough was uncovered that Izuku could see the red puffiness around his eyes.

"We had fun overall, right?" Izuku softly asked, rubbing the older boy's back gently.

Katsuki nodded as he yawned. "Up till we had to pass those fuckers," Katsuki grumbled.

"You did really good though," Izuku said, "I thought for sure you were going to end up punching that guy's face."

"I thought about it," Katsuki admitted, "But I thought the kiss would do more damage to his kind."

Izuku chuckled softly, "Probably. That was a really good kiss by the way. I wouldn't mind you kissing me like that more while we're on dates."

Katsuki looked up at Izuku with that smirk of his. "I bet you would, you gotta earn those kinds," Katsuki teased. Izuku seemed to relax then, seeing Katsuki return to his normal snarky attitude.

"I might have to do more than," Izuku giggled, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "I love you so much Katsuki," He murmured softly, "I love you more than anyone else in this world."

"I love you too," Katsuki mumbled.

"What?"

"You're a nerd!" Katsuki said louder as his cheeks flushed a dark red. That left Izuku giggling and pressing all the kisses he could over his lover's face.

#twinstarsweek #bkdk #bakudeku #day 5 #free for all #pride parade #bnha #my head canon

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arigatouiris · 5 years

Text

out of my league // t.h — 11

Pairing: Tom Holland x Critic! Reader [I use female pronouns]

Warnings: depressive/triggering thoughts, explicitly mentioned; swearing; eventual fluff; angst; hurt/comfort; pining; a little bit of cliche because come on.

A/N: A lot of angst in this one. Just.. saying.

Also, if you want me to add you to the series taglist, just drop a note or comment! ^^

Word count: 3644

Series Masterlist

10 | 11 | 12

She wanted normal to be ideal. She knew, however, that normal was strictly an imagination and that reality was much harsher, much more ruthless. (y/n) was thrilled initially when Susannah returned, quieter and more closed off then before, but returned, nonetheless. Even if she wasn’t living with (y/n) and had found her own place, or maybe she did, (y/n) had no clue, Susannah was back at work and things were going to go well at their own pace. This was the normal, she had imagined, and prayed that Susannah would go back to being her goofy self, and Aditi would not brood, and Bruce wouldn’t look like someone stole his food.

However, normal was not ideal. Normal was not real. Susannah returned with a newfound ire, which seemed to grow rapidly by day. Aditi was frustrated with work, being assigned beats that were too far from her usual location. (y/n) was flooded with work herself, doing two movies at a minimum per day, which nearly had her working overtime every single day. Susannah barely spoke to anybody, and had been found yelling at Bruce one day for a very tiny error, which could have gone ignored.

She’s hurt, (y/n) told herself and continued telling herself about Susannah’s sudden change in demeanour. Aditi rarely sugar-coated things and she didn’t do it this time either, and felt no shame in calling Susannah a ‘bitch boss’ ever since her return. Other reporters and editors in the office also saw this change, and some knew they couldn’t complain, since they weren’t working directly under Susannah.

“(y/n),” Susannah called out that Monday morning, and (y/n) chirpily went up to her manager, “I’ll need you to review these tonight and have the critiques ready by afternoon tomorrow.”

The moment (y/n) took a look at the list, she froze. Her eyes narrowed and she looked back at Susannah with a bewildered expression.

“Susannah, these are four movies. You can’t possibly expect me to—”

“I do expect you to finish them by tomorrow, (y/n).” Susannah snapped.

“With all due respect, this is way too much!” (y/n) fought back.

“You’re right,” Susannah nodded once before turning to grab something from her bag. “It is too much. So here,” She handed (y/n) a pen-drive. “I’ve got the copies here. Start now so you can be done by tomorrow.”

“I’ll… I’ll try—”

“I need them tomorrow, (l/n). That’s that.” Susannah snapped, grimacing, and walked away.

(y/n)’s heart fell. It was almost as if Susannah was punishing her for something, that she wanted (y/n) to feel this immense hurt. As Susannah’s form walked farther and farther away from (y/n), intensifying the distance between them, so does her misery, and (y/n) wonders how it is possible to hurt so much when nothing is wrong.

That afternoon, Aditi noticed (y/n) grab her things and head out. Rushing toward her friend, she grabbed (y/n)’s arm and cocked both her eyebrows.

“Where’re you going?”

“Home. I’ve got an assignment that I need to finish by tomorrow. Susannah’s…” (y/n) couldn’t form the words in her mind. There was nothing to say.

“Gone bitch mode on you, too?” Aditi finished, narrowing her eyes.

“Aditi, she’s just hurt—”

“Does not give you a reason to make everyone else around you miserable. I’m sorry, (y/n), as much as I love Susannah, I can’t deny how much of a pain she’s been lately ever since coming back. Everyone’s hurting in their own way, you cannot bring it out in such an unhealthy manner and do this to the people around you. No one can. She cannot keep treating her pain like a goddamn privilege.”

Even if Aditi’s words were harsh, (y/n) found the truth in them. She smiled a bit before nodding once, holding the tan skinned woman’s hand in hers, and squeezing once. Aditi sighed, before hugging her friend.

“(y/n),” Aditi grumbled, “There’s no use with you being so kind.”

(y/n) laughed before she left.

However, if things stopped here, (y/n) would have fed the hope that everything would turn better with time. No permanent wounds were caused, no damage done. The next morning, despite staying up till 3 a.m., to finish her assignments, (y/n) handed the critiques to Susannah, knowing fully well that they would all be approved.

Stretching, (y/n) went to get some coffee, taking her phone out and noticing Tom’s text message: let’s hang out at 7? haz is coming too! Smiling, (y/n) was about to type in a reply, when she heard Susannah’s voice.

Her eyes widened. It was followed by Aditi’s voice. Shoving her phone into her pocket, (y/n) rushed to the seating area, and watched as Aditi and Susannah stood in front of each other.

“Ever since you came back, you’ve been giving me a shit load of work to do. It’s impossible to finish two stories in one day, Susannah. If you can’t be understanding then—”

“I am your manager whether you like it or not, so when I tell you I need those stories, then I need them—”

“Do it yourself then. I’m out.” Aditi snapped, taking her ID card out of her pocket. (y/n) rushed to them both before grabbing Aditi’s hand. Turning to Susannah with a pleading look, (y/n) begged with her eyes, expecting Susannah to say something, to say anything that could solve this.

“Good riddance.”

(y/n)’s eyes widened.

“Susannah!” For a moment, (y/n) swore she found some sort of emotion streak across her face, but no word exited her lips. “Susannah, please! I know you’re hurting, I know things are hard right now, but please. Don’t do this. We’re all here for you. We just want—”

“You just want things to be okay again, is that it?” Susannah snapped, frowning.

(y/n) froze. It was one of those moments when a scene unfolded before your eyes, and you had no idea how to respond. Tears filled her eyes, watching Susannah behave this way, but it was happening and before her mind could fathom a proper response, Susannah had exploded.

“I just wanted to be alone! But, no. You had to call the police and come and find me. You had to pretend to worry, so that I can be that trans friend that you can brag about to your other friends. You know what, (y/n)? You made things worse. I was away from this shit hole! I was away from this place that reminds me each and every single day, with every single breath that I take, on how everything fucked up. On how everything went to shit! You’re the reason I’m like this!”

(y/n) remained frozen. A single tear leaked down her eye, and her lip quivered. There was so much hurt in her that wanted to come out, but fear prevented her from letting it show any more than it already was. Aditi grabbed (y/n)’s shoulder and pulled her back.

“Listen, Susannah. You said you didn't want to come back to a place that reminds you of your pain, and you blame (y/n) for your utter misery. Well that just isn't good enough. Look what happens to people just living their lives. They get hurt, it's not fair they get hurt but they do, all the time, no matter how careful they are. Somebody can just just come along and hurt them, for no stupid reason… Just like you are. All (y/n) did was care about you, and there you go, proving to her from your hurt, that it was wrong of her to do so. It sucks that she cared. But you’re using your hurt as an excuse to hurt the people around you and I see that as nothing but absolute weakness.”

Susannah remained quiet. She had said everything she had to.

“(y/n), take a few days off. I don’t want to see you here for a while.”

All she feels is heartbreak. (y/n) felt a pain that is so intense that she cannot think; her head spun so fast she couldn’t remember who she was or how she got there. All she knew at that second was this uncharacteristic pain. All she felt was desperation. She wants to cry out for help, but she knew that there was no point. No matter how loud she would cry, she couldn’t stop or change what was happening. No matter what she did, the pain did not stop. Turning around in quiet desperation, (y/n) walked back home, feeling lonelier than ever before.

When Harrison calls her that evening, just as she got ready to meet them, she wasn’t expecting him to sound so happy. His happiness in contrast to her low demeanour made it rather easy for him to figure out that something was wrong. However, (y/n) had no mind to talk about it, and talking about it would definitely not ease her pain.

“I’ll be there in 30, Haz. Still getting ready.” She said, rather monotonously.

“Is everything okay?” He sounded concerned, but he most definitely had a ghost of a smile hanging on his lips.

“Of course! I’m just a bit tired.” She wasn’t lying entirely, considering she did in fact, feel tired. Susannah had been overworking her, and even though she was asked not to go to the office for the next few days, (y/n) knew her tired feeling wouldn’t just go away.

“Alright, I’ll see you soon, darling.” Haz said, before ending the call.

She shook her head to herself in silent sorrow, and closed her eyes. She felt the weariness in the air right then, and with it, her own. She felt it dark and heavy upon her, darker and heavier than alcohol could make her feel. She looked at the kitchen, in which Susannah once stood, just a week ago. She remembered the conversations that floated around her in the air; conversations that she shared with Susannah. She’d seen them hanging in the curtains, like bats, ready to swoop. Now, she thought, she might shake the curtain a tad bit and the conversations would only fall, and break, and turn to dust.

With her heart heavy, she called for a cab and readied herself for a night of pretence. She knew, however, that Tom and Harrison, with all their happy glory, would make her feel better for the night, if not forget.

On reaching the place where they were supposed to meet, (y/n) spotted Harrison waiting outside. He was wearing black shades, and spotted her right away, sending towards her a happy grin—which she returned almost instinctively. The two embraced and Harrison led her inside, a table on the first floor, where privacy was still intact. Tom and Harrison were both celebrities, so it was always better to keep this in check before going out. On spotting Tom, sitting by the couch, (y/n) grinned and went forward to hug her friend, who hugged back before exchanging pleasantries.

“You look lovely,” Tom said, unable to take his eyes off her, causing her to blush a wild red.

“Thank you, Tom, you look killer yourself.” She said, giggling at his compliment.

Harrison looked at the two, a cheeky smile plastered to his face, before shaking his head and looking at the menu.

“So, what was the occasion?” She asked, taking a sip of water, which was placed on the table.

“What? We can’t ask to see you without any hidden agenda?” Tom winked, shooting her heart to the sky, a feeling she ignored rather well.

However, her eyes displayed the sorrow her heart wanted hidden. Tom’s feelings for her were so strong, he had studied and observed her eyes—with each of the emotions displayed in them. He had seen anger in her, and understood the light in her eye when she was furious; he had seen her smile, oh her smile, which reminded him of Emilia’s Clarke’s expression when flustered; he remembered her sorrow, a glint slowly fading, a glint rather amicable and inescapable, which seemed to be present at the moment.

“Is everything alright?” Tom brought her out of her reverie, one she had no idea she had slipped into.

“Just tired, Tom. It’s been a long week.”

Harrison laughed once before saying, “It’s just Monday, (y/n).”

(y/n) was flustered, and quite uncomfortable. “Oh, shoot. I already feel like an entire week has passed.”

Tom and Harrison both looked at each other, before choosing to ignore the awkwardness in the air. There was something going on, this much they were sure about, but didn’t want to press her for details if she didn’t want to share them. Tom, who was a bit more worried than Haz was, wanted to know what was bothering her and wanted to help in every way he could. And the reason he chose to meet her that night didn’t sit easy with him any longer.

“So, I’m shooting this movie. I was in Croatia a while ago, for a couple of nights, shooting there.” Tom said, right after ordering drinks.

“That’s amazing. What’s the movie about?” (y/n) sounded genuinely interested.

“It’s about a boy who went missing in Belfast, and finds himself in Croatia, years later. It’s his story, basically.” Tom said, aware of how terrible he was in talking about the movie.

“Careful, (y/n), if you ask anymore, he might just spoil the whole thing.” Harrison teased.

“Bugger off.”

The three laughed, and Tom couldn’t help but stare at (y/n). The Emilia Clarke grin was absent, it seemed as if she was forcing herself to smile. Tom’s stomach dropped with the realization that something had definitely gone wrong.

“So, what about the shoot, Tom?” (y/n) asked, smiling at him.

He was terrified now. He knew that this was not the right time, but Harrison was smiling and (y/n) was pretending. His heart was racing, he dreaded a bad reaction but knew he was going to get one.

“Alright, he’s not going to finish, so hear me out,” Haz spoke, turning her attention to him. “I’m going to Portugal for two weeks for my shoot. It’s exciting, and I can’t wait. I leave in the morning.”

(y/n) gasped and smiled, pressing her hands together. “That’s amazing, Haz! You’re going to do great!”

“Thanks so much, love. Tom, don’t be a div, just tell her, mate.”

(y/n) turned to Tom and waited. Tom knew for a fact that this was not the right time.

“I leave for a shoot,” (y/n)’s smile wavered. “It’s… It’s going to be in Croatia, again… And um,” Tom looked away from (y/n) and cleared his throat, “It’s two months long and I’m leaving in two days.”

And (y/n) knew, knew for sure, with an absolute certainty, that this was what rock bottom felt like. This what the worst possible thing felt like. It was not to be some grand, wretched emotional breakdown where she’d cry and wail and screech. It is, in fact, one of the most ordinary things. Reaching this spot meant developing an inability to cope with the ordinary, which is so extreme that it makes even the grandest and most common things unbearable.

This dire helplessness felt to her like the only thing that matters in all of life is the one bad moment that let her know that everything is falling, crashing, breaking, tormenting. This feeling is everything out of focus. It’s an utter lack of vision, a failure to see the world for how it is, to see the good in what it is, and only to wonder why things look the way they do and not—and not some other way.

She stood up instantly before the tears fell, and raced outside. She didn’t care what the two of them thought of her at that moment. Her heart, she could feel it shattering, and there was nothing on earth that could ease her pain.

Harrison immediately looked to Tom, who stood up right away and chased after her. He knew. He knew that something was already wrong, something was breaking her apart, limb from limb, and Tom’s news crashing everything to the ground. Guilt made him feel nauseous but he had to hold her, he had to comfort her and know what was going on.

He saw her, a couple of feet away on the street, and he stood behind her. He was afraid, part of him wanted to hold her but knew he had no right to. Nevertheless, he went to her, his heart open, and his mind quiet.

“(y/n)—”

“You always find me crying or miserable, you must think I’m weak.”

Tom turned her around and placed his hands on her arms, and sighed.

“Crying doesn’t make someone weak. We all cry.”

“But, I’m always—”

“(y/n), I’ll always be here.”

Always was a funny word. At the same time, it meant both a promise and tomorrow. A strange connection between the two that made it seem realistic and idyllic, all at the same time.

(y/n) looks up at Tom’s worried glance and wipes her tears away. He’s an actor. He’s just an actor, she tells herself repeatedly, ignoring the beating of her heart. She recognized it at once: love, one-way deep adoration that bounced off and did not bounce back; careful, quiet love that didn't care and went on anyway.

“It’s been a long day, Tom, I’m sorry I worried you.” She said, as she pulls away from his touch, almost making it seem like his hands on her any longer would have burned her skin. But she knew he was a star, and she, only human. She was never meant to reach the stars—she could only admire them from afar.

“I’m going to come back and things are going to be better, you’ll see.” His voice was calming, but only if she had allowed it to calm her.

(y/n) looked up at him, his face so effortlessly beautiful.

“I’m going to message you every single day. I’m going to tell you every single day that I am here, with you, with everything you do. You’re so strong,” He holds her again, and steps a bit closer to her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

As if out of instinct, “Why are you doing this to me?” She whispered.

And he was lost. He didn’t understand where her words came from, what they meant and what she wanted. But, Tom held on.

He hugged her a moment after, wondering if it could ease even a bit of her pain. He wonders why she was so broken at that second, he wonders if some part of her was sad because he was leaving, he wonders and wonders and wonders for answers he knew he wasn’t going to get right then. He held her like his life depended on it, and breathed steadily, trying hard to match his breathing to hers. Embracing instinct, and his desire, he kissed her cheek, breathing into her, letting his love spill. If she’s out of my league, then so be it, he thought, tightening his grip on her. He felt her hands slowly reach his back, and Tom knew.

I’ll give it all I have.

“I care so much for you, (y/n).”

“You shouldn’t.” Came her whisper.

“But, I do.” Came his.

I can’t love him, she says to herself, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill. Though, her hands didn’t stop holding him for her dear life, and her heart didn’t stop yearning. He’s an actor, and she a nobody.

I love her, Tom finally concluded.

It was a moment after that Tom pulled away, wanting to look at her face. If the moment called for it, he’d have told her what was on his mind, but he couldn’t. Just as he pulled away, her grip on him stayed, his eyes fell on her hands gripping his sleeve, and then back to her face. He can tell she was fighting against saying something, doing something, but he had no idea what it was. He suddenly felt afraid, as if their lives were about to change, and stares into her face, while she slowly looked up into his.

Without another thought, Tom leaned forward, their noses touching, her breath on his face—colliding against each other’s breaths, tackling every nervous feeling that erupted in their hearts. And just before his lips touched hers, (y/n) pulled away, as her phone began to ring.

Tom’s face was bright pink, before covering his jaw with his hand; he had almost done it, he had almost changed their lives, and he had no idea he was doing it. The moment was so special, yet so fragile. He had no idea what he was feeling at the moment, but pure adrenaline.

“I… I have to go.”

It was Susannah who had called, but (y/n) hadn’t picked up. Seeing her standing there, not saying a word but looking into his eyes, made him realize that silence had a sound. Tom gulped, feeling nervous all over again, both of them were aware of what he was about to do—and she had not stopped him. They were both accomplices in almost committing an act that could have, would have changed the way they moved and breathed and talked. But the step had only been almost taken.

“I’ll see you when I’m back.” Tom said, his voice low.

She nodded, still staring at him, transfixed. Just as he turned away, to go back to Harrison, he swore he heard her whisper.

I’ll miss you, Tom.

Tears filled his eyes, as he thought: I’ll miss you more than you know.

series taglist:

@strangemaximoff, @aestheticgaybish, @noobmaster63, @why-are-all-the-teens-gay, @wonders-of-the-multiverse, @boushalaivre, @jackiehollanderr, @nerdypisces160, @yourwonderbelle, @quackson606, @stickyqueenbouquetsstuff, @fandoms-stuff, @danicarosaline, @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo, @multiverseprincess @spider-mendes @jazzhandspotter @the-rad-mad

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fic #tom hollander #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom #tom holland x y/n

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chilly-me-softly · 5 years

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Coparents (Part 2) • Ben Chilwell

I enjoyed so much writing this and I hope you like it too. You can read part one here if you haven’t already done it, and I may or may not write even a part 3 if you like the idea x -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Daddy, mommy and I made cookies" the little one screams excitedly as he sees Ben on the threshold.

"I see buddy" he chuckles as he enters the kitchen and goes to leave a kiss on his son's head full of what he hopes is flour.

"Yeah and we lost track of time" she apologizes and then turned to the little one "Come on, shower. Dad is here for you" she made him get off the counter and the baby started running up the stairs.

"I'll be right there, don't touch anything!" she screams in vain knowing that as soon as the baby goes away with Ben she will have to clean up beyond the kitchen, even the bathroom and his bedroom.

"Sorry" she sighs, moving the last dirty bowls into the sink and checking the oven.

"It's okay, I'm not in a hurry" he says, approaching her and when she turns around, she finds him a few steps away from her.

"You have flour everywhere" he chuckles as he reaches for the duster on the counter.

"Yeah, Ryan isn't so reliable as an assistant chef"

"Like me" he gently wipes the cloth on her cheek and for a moment they look at each other's eyes. Then she recovers from her trans and quickly moves away from his touch, "I-I have to go check on Ryan"

He watches her disappear quickly and sighs. He remembers when in that situation, covered with flour, there were them a few years earlier. She had always had a passion for cooking, especially for baking, and he always offered to try her creations because let's say it who would ever give up sweets. But there were moments when she convinced him to get on the other side of the counter with her and become her helper, even knowing he would do more damage than actual helping. The time always came when she was distracted and he took the opportunity to throw her a handful of flour, triggering a war that ended with a yell for the waste of food from her mother -and also from his mother who immediately received a phone call-. But their goal was to have fun and as long as they succeeded there was no lecture that held.

Fifteen minutes later more or less he hears little steps hurrying down the stairs and immediately afterwards the little one runs towards him.

"Don't run down the stairs" he reminds him, taking him in his arms as the baby settles better on his chest, probably going to sleep soon.

(Y/N) goes down behind him still dirty with flour in her hair and with a water stain on the shirt -the bright side of bathing a hyperactive child-, with her she carries the backpack with Ryan's toys posing it on the kitchen island.

"I turned the oven off, I think they're ready" he lets her know, rocking the baby in his arms slightly back and forth.

"Hmm thank you, I've forgotten about it" she shakes her head as she heads towards the oven, "I'll put someone in a container, is it okay?" he nods.

"Cookies" the baby murmurs sleepily making him giggle and leaves a kiss on his head.

While she prepares everything, she informs him of something in particular that happened in those days that he must be aware of and he makes sure that Ryan has prepared everything this time because only he knows what happened the previous time when he had to drive to her house at three in the morning because he had forgotten Mr. Gigi, the stuffed bear he sleeps with. The child wanted to prepare the bag by himself because he was now a big man and obviously she had taken it for granted that something so important would be inserted first in the backpack. Well, this time she had personally seen with her own eyes the child had actually taken it and had ascertained further by going down the stairs minutes before.

So with everything he needs ready, Ben decides it's time to go and she helps him get everything to the car as Ryan has finally fallen asleep. He gently rests him in place by fastening his belt, while she places her backpack and biscuits at his side leaning out just enough to leave him a slight kiss on his forehead.

"Thanks for keeping him a day early anyway"

"Not a problem, really"

"And don't let him sleep too much otherwise he won't sleep tonight" she advises, closing the car door gently.

“Don't worry, give him the ride to my house and he will be fresh as a daisy” he can spot his own child. Then comes the moment of greetings that turns into an embarrassing moment when both of them turn to the same side and their lips almost touch each other. With a short hug, and even more embarrassment in the air, they say goodbye definitively and she almost runs to lock herself in the house not even waiting to see them go away as she usually does.

"I think she's dating someone" Ben turns around and looks at his friend in confusion. He and James are watching one of those junk shows on TV now that Ryan was finally asleep and just wanted to unplug his brain, not think about things too adults or for children for a few hours. "Who?" so he sighs and asks.

"(Y/N)" he replies as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"What? Why do you think that?" suddenly he finds himself very interested in the conversation and leans forward, a grin born on James's face.

"Well she's happier lately, always with a smile on her face and has changed haircut"

"That's it?" he mocks, "a change of hairstyle and we cry scandal?!" the boy comes back to lean on the back of the sofa.

"Everybody knows that when a girl changes her hairstyle, a change is underway, Ben" he tells him with a wisdom.

"Whatever you say" Ben murmurs returning to focus on the figures on the screen.

“We'll see at the wedding, maybe she will show up with someone" continues the blond next to him, but Ben is already lost in his thoughts. She asked him to pick up Ryan a day in advance and he didn't bother to ask her what she had to do, convinced something had come up at work. But now that he has the idea in his mind, he couldn't help but think about that possibility. It was well known that Ryan doesn't know how to shut up though, and he would surely have told him if (Y/N) had introduced someone to him or at least before taking such an important step she was the one who had to let him. He was still his son too after all.

Who’s he kidding, it's not because of the little monster sleeping upstairs that he feels what he feels. As if his throat could close at any moment just at the thought of her with someone else. He is almost 25 years old and has fallen in love with his son's mother. He swore that their relationship would not change over the years, and yet something had happened. His way of looking at her had changed, every smile directed at him was like a punch straight to the stomach, every touch was exactly as the first one. And for months now he had been rejecting that strange feeling, the desire to hold her close to himself and smell her scent. And that feeling of discomfort in the pit of the stomach when James spoke of a possible man was not accidental. Jealousy. He was fucked, he knew it too well.

"Daddy, mommy is beautiful, isn't she?" exclaims the child in his arms with a huge smile that highlights the small hole he has between his upper teeth. She wears a long burgundy dress that looks great on her and has slightly wavy hair, dropped on her shoulders.

"Yes love, she's really beautiful" he answers without breaking eye contact with her. Certainly he cannot tell his son and the group of people around them what he thought when he firstly saw her. Damn, he seems to be back as a teenager when he seemed to have a crush on every female person he met. With the difference that this is not a temporary crush, but a real flame that is consuming him inside.

She looks down imperceptibly before smiling and answering that even the two boys in front of her are not bad at all, stretching an arm to tickle a sensitive area of the child and making him giggle. Then in an instant, his attention is caught by Jamie and he asks his father to put him down to run by him. Leaving Ben, (Y/N), James and some other team mates alone.

"The brat is right, you look great" says James sincerely before taking a sip of whatever he has in his glass.

"Thank you" she smiles, accepting the glass of sparkling wine Ben is offering her.

"So you came alone?" if a look could kill, James would be dead and buried at that moment.

"Well no, Ryan and I are one for years now as you know. With whom else should I have come?!" she laughs at him and Ben really hopes that no one has noticed how he loosens his tie after that answer.

"So you're single?"

"James, maybe it's better if you put that glass down" he replies making a face. She is confused by the sudden worry with her love life, but doesn't have time to think about it so much that the bride and groom make their entrance into the room and the attention is captured by them.

A few hours later they are all sitting around a table enjoying the great food and company, making small talks. Ryan has long been asleep on (Y/N) that between a chat and another caresses his back distractedly and is actually surprised how he can sleep with all that noise.

"Oh I like this song!" she rocks slightly to the rhythm. The first dance between the bride and the groom had taken place before, so the dance floor is at the complete disposal of the guests.

"Do you wanna dance?" she looks up from the little one on her lap and finds Ben's gaze on her, the tie has been removed soon after the first course and the jacket is on his arm. There had been an elbow from James who had pushed him to step up, but better than nothing.

"Wh-what?" she questions taken aback.

"Come on" he shrugs his shoulders as he reaches for her and gestures for her to stand up. She is about to point out the existence of their son on her when James comes out with open arms, ready to take his sleeping nephew with him.

"Come to Uncle James'" he murmurs, placing him in his arms even though the child can't hear him.

So after a last caress to the child she accepts Ben's hand, which has since put the jacket back on, and the two set off for a corner of the dance floor.

"When was the last time we danced together?" she asked absently, placing her arms around the boy's neck and standing at his height. The heels put on for the occasion earned her a few centimetres. His hands automatically on her waist.

"I don't know, but we certainly wouldn't have danced like that" he chuckles.

"We're parents now" just a look between the two to burst out laughing, she throws her head back and when she returns to her place she finds Ben's face a few inches from hers.

"Ben" she mutters, suddenly all the hilarity is gone.

"Believe me if we weren't where we are I would kiss you here and now" the grip on her waist becomes stronger, as if from one moment to the other she can escape.

"Ben" seems to be the only thing capable of saying as she continues to watch him, the song seems to last for an eternity. "We cannot"

"Why? Give me a valid reason" he pleads her, his gaze moves from her eyes to her lips in expectation.

But the answer doesn't arrive because finally the song ends and she hastens to leave the dance floor. And he follows her, determined not to waste his chance. Ryan, their friends or the years of friendship do not exist for a moment. He knows he could never allow their relationship to disintegrate, but it's time to stop running around in circle and face the fact that their friendship has eventually become something more.

He goes out into the garden attached to the restaurant and finds her leaning against the railing, intent on looking at the view lost in her thoughts. Approaching her he notices she is shaking because of the slight breeze and is quick to take off his jacket again to place it on her shoulders. She gasps imperceptibly but doesn't turn to look at him and he sighs.

"I don't want to give Ryan false hope" she murmurs after a while.

"(Y/N) look at me" and she does it not at all convinced however that it's the best thing to do at that moment, "Don't use our son as an excuse" and those words strike her like a stab. The truth is that she never stopped to think about those new sensations she felt when she was simply in his company or even when she thought about him. And she had never seriously fallen in love, she had had Ryan in her twenties and from there she automatically thought that no one would ever look at her once they knew she had a baby. So she had simply locked up the part involving relationships and meeting new people in a remote corner of her brain, telling herself her son's love would be enough.

"Marriage effect" she curses herself as soon as she says those words. And she doesn't have time to do anything because he rolls his eyes grabbing her by his jacket and kissing her. It's a small peck that, however, sends both into ecstasy.

"You said stupid things in your life, but this one surpasses them all" he chuckles once he breaks away, still a few inches from her.

She clears the distances again and leaves a small kiss on his lips, and they are forced to break away because they smile so much that kissing is almost impossible. "Okay" she murmurs, clutching his jacket and he looks at her in confusion.

"Okay, I'll give us a chance"

"But" she smiles, he knows her too well.

"But this remains between us, no one has to know for the moment. I don't want too many expectations if things don't go well” he nods, he could agree every little condition in that moment because he is convinced they are meant to be. I’m so fucked up. "Nobody Ben. And that means being careful about Ryan"

"We will do whatever you want, but now kiss me"

Part 3

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell imagine #ben chilwell imagines #football imagine #football imagines

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carisi-dreams · 5 years

Text

Fictober 2019

Prompt number: #6, “Yes, I’m aware. Your point?” Fandom (AU if applicable): Law & Order: SVU, motorcycle club AU Pairing: OC/OC (Razor/Veronica) Rating: T Warnings/Tags: warnings: mentions of murder & general lawlessness typical of a motorcycle club, not at all graphic, profanity ; tags: original characters, trans woman of color, original trans female character, alternate universe

*takes place right after ‘clearly not nothing’ in the sonny carisi mc!au masterlist on my blog

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“Jesus Christ,” Sonny swore as his old lady finished telling the story of what had happened. “So you’re telling me, Chase Shaw’s body is in that boat house?” She nodded and he swore again and shook his head while kicking at the ground.

Nick was eyeing his own old lady contemplatively and Veronica had her gaze fixed on the boat house in the distance. She shivered and suppressed the sigh she wanted to release. This is what she got for listening to Cameron and not just telling Razor and washing her hands of the whole thing. Now they were all involved, and with the reputation of Discord and Guardianes there was no way law enforcement would even believe that this time they were telling the truth.

She was about to open her mouth to ask what they should do now when Razor suddenly caught her elbow and drew her a ways away. The viselike grip got her attention and she winced and made a face when he finally released her, rubbing the skin. He spared a quick apologetic look and took over rubbing the sensitive skin.

“What were you thinking?” he asked lowly. His hands were gentle on her skin now, but his tone was dark. “Are you—I thought you hated this stuff…and now here you are, with Cameron no less—I don’t even have the energy to tell you how stupid that was—in the middle of the damn woods rescuing kidnapped old ladies that killed the doctor that kidnapped them after stalking one of them!? Veronica!”

It was pretty foolhardy when he laid it all out like that.

“Cameron seemed credible and you were busy,” Veronica answered with a minuscule shrug. “Trust me, I thought I laid out all of the scenarios. The plan was we get here, see if we saw their cars, and if not we’d call you. Which I did. We just didn’t…plan for the whole murdered doctor after kidnapping attempt part…”

“This isn’t a game, Veronica!” Razor exploded as he leaned forward. Veronica glanced back over at the group and found nearly everyone’s eyes on them. Razor lowered his voice at Nick’s quirked eyebrow. “You could have been hurt! Or worse!”

“Yes, I’m aware. Your point?”

“My p—my point is that you should have waited until I was out of church or you should have told Sonny. Don’t go off on your own.”

��I was worried about my friends! It’s what you would have done. It’s what you did,” Veronica reminded him. Apparently the cartel problem was being taken care of thanks to an anonymous source, but Fernando still didn’t have charges brought against him officially. Veronica remembered, in harrowing detail, every moment of the call she got that Razor had been shot and she remembered how young he looked in the hospital bed.

“I’m a fucking criminal, Veronica,” he replied in exasperation. “And I carry a gun!”

“Maybe I should carry one, too,” Veronica answered evenly.

“Or maybe you should leave the yippee ki yay to me and stop putting yourself in harm’s way,” Razor retorted.

She sighed and pursed her lips. His hands were gentle when he drew her into an embrace. A warm kiss pressed against her temple and then her cheek and she wrapped her arms around Razor’s waist between his t-shirt and his kutte.

“You’re a good friend,” he admitted grudgingly. “What am I going to do with you, woman?”

“You’re stuck with me now, cabron.”

Razor laughed and drew back enough to tilt her face up. He kissed her gently and tucker her hair behind either ear.

“Lucky me.” The words were accompanied with a sarcastic grin, but sincere and tone and Veronica wiggled her nose up at him before letting her cheek fall back against his chest.

#fictober19 #veronica #razor #sonny carisi #nick amaro #mc!au #mc!nick #my writing #mc!sonny #reader a #reader b

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nycttophilic · 5 years

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RWBY Verse: Team BLST

Kira, Linkette, Grelle, and Midna’s team!! They’re a group of Huntresses (or training to be them, if you wanna meet them while they’re at school) who have been close friends since they were first made a team together. Let me go in a bit to describe them...

Team as a whole:

Team BLST is pronounced Team Bloodstone.

The team is from Mistral and graduated (if in a verse post their schooling) from Haven. Despite all odds and what others thought of them, they graduated at the top of their class, mainly due to Kira’s guidance (despite being the youngest in the group). They’re loyal to Lionheart, that is, until he failed their whole city and sided with Salem only to be killed. Team BLST does whatever they can to keep Mistral safe in his absence, but there’s only so much they can do.

Heavily relies on Kira’s leadership and calmness in the face of danger, so if she was taken out of the picture the team would surely fall.

Kira:

Born in a small village-like-clan just outside of Mistral. It was a village of outcasts and criminals, in which her mother was the leader. However, when her mother went into Mistral for information, she met a man she fell in love with. It was against the rules to be with someone outside of the clan, and when Kira was born the two were in big trouble. Kira’s sister, Midna’s, dad killed Kira’s mom, and her dad took her to a family in Mistral. If you know anything about Kira, you should know what happened then—abuse...

When she accidentally killed her father, she was on the run until she found Midna, her half sister who was from the clan their mother was from. They wouldn’t want Kira there, and Midna didn’t want to stay there her whole life either. The two agreed to live in Mistral together and never speak of their family, and when they were old enough, they would both join Haven together and be damned if they didn’t become a team together. Very strong sisterly bond.

Kira is a human and the youngest in her team, joining Haven RIGHT when she turned 17, unlike the others who waited a year or two.

Kira’s semblance is that she heal others by putting her Aura into them to heal their wounds, quite like Jaune’s. However, unlike Jaune (that we know of), there’s a flip side to Kira’s semblance: she can shoot her aura from her body forcefully, which will bring incredible pain to whoever is hit. This is how she killed her “adoptive father”. It’s like a burst of magic from her hand when she uses it to harm someone, and a gentle flow from her palms when she heals. She can control how much pain someone experiences, but she’s working on how much/quickly she can heal someone.

Her weapon is similar to Weiss’s in the sense that it’s a sword that shoots out dust, but Kira’s is actually dual katanas that shoot out dust. She can also shoot her semblance throw them.

Midna:

Kira’s older sister. She grew up in the clan thingy with the intention of being its next leader. Her mother was actually married to a member of the clan, but still had an affair with Kira’s dad. In this verse, she doesn’t hate Kira for the death of their mom, and instead wants to keep her only remaining family safe. Very protective of her little sis.

She killed her father when she learned he killed her mom. She was 15 at the time, Kira 12. That’s when she left to go search for her little sister. They lived on the streets for a while with the goal to join Haven when they became of age, so Midna waited for Kira to turn 17 before joining herself.

Midna was 20 when she joined Haven, Kira 17. Midna’s the oldest out of the group.

Midna’s weapons are similar to Ren’s in the sense that they double as dual pistols. Kira and Midna both dual wield, but their weapons are VERY different—kira is best with her swords so close combat, Midna uses her weapons as guns so ranged combat. They’re also BOOMERANGS, and are very sharp ones that could easily cut the head off of a weak grim if thrown hard enough. This also makes them very dangerous, as Midna must catch it PERFECTLY lest her hand will get sliced off.

Her semblance is very similar to her powers in LoZ. She can cover an area with twilight, thus meaning she can control whatever’s in the space or make the twilight in that area a WEAPON to kill her enemy, if they step in her terrain. She can also use the twilight in the area to make walls of twilight, as well as twilight electricity. This is a semblance that is passed down from the leaders of her clan, so it’s a VERY powerful semblance. Midna is definitely the most powerful member in terms of her semblance. However, such power is very tolling on her level of aura.

Linkette:

Linkette, unlike my other girls, grew up in a good family of huntsmen. In Mistral, her family is definitely one of the ones on the top side, while the others live on the lower side. However, all of that changed when both of her parents were murdered, leaving her and her younger sister to be orphans.

Linkette was 10 when she watched her parents being killed, her sister only 4. At that point, Linkette made it her mission to kill the man who murdered her parents. She also discovered her semblance at this time, which I will get to later. 4 years later, she in finally found that man and killed him. With that out of the way, she swore to never again kill someone out of cold blood. Also, now the sisters were orphans and were living on the street too. However, Linkette took care of things and protected her sister, so they lived better than Kira and Midna. Linkette worked for money and killed Grim for even more coin. That’s also where she learned to use a sword, from her sensei—who took her and her sister in (idk who this is yet, so if someone wants to give me someone to take care of sword girl and her sis PLS)

Linkette joined Haven a bit before turning 18, so she’s the second youngest. She’s also very down to earth and straight forward, as well has no tolerance for nonsense. She gets along with Kira the best and gets into fights with Grelle quite often, but it’s like sisterly bickering.

Linkette’s weapon is VERY similar to Jaune’s. It’s a sword with a sheath that turns into a shield, really simple. But that’s the only weapon she knows how to use, so she’s excellent at it. Despite her weapon being so plain, she is hands down the strongest fighter on the team.

Her semblance is very similar to her BSD ability. Basically, she has these four masks that when she puts one of them on, they completely change her body and give her special powers. If you’re curious about them, just ask me about it and I’ll send you the post about them uwu

Grelle:

Grelle, like Kira and Midna, grew up on the dark side of Mistral. She was poor and lived in a large-ish family (three sisters, two parents, and herself) so she grew up stealing from people to provide for her family. Her parents didn’t like her since she was the youngest, as they hardLy cared about their children. She was basically raised by her sisters.

Grelle is actually a FAUNUS. She’s a fox Faunus, with a fox tail and ears to match. Her entire family are fox Faunus. This helped her be sneaky when stealing from people, thus aiding in her criminal life. However, when she learned of her semblance (explained later), her sisters told her to ALWAYS use it to hide the fact she’s a Faunus. So, you can’t tell she’s part fox just by looking at her—she looks completely human.

Grelle is trans, so as a child she was seen as a son in her parent’s eyes. And that’s it. Only her sisters saw her as an actual person, so she loves them very much. However, when it was clear she had feelings for both men and women, her homophobic parents kicked her out of the family and onto the streets. Luckily, she lived her whole life on the streets of Mistral, so she was fine.

Grelle joined Haven Academy at 18 years old. She gets along best with Midna, and she adores messing with Linkette and making things less perfect for her. If you ask her why she became a huntress, she would answer “So I could meet some hot huntsmen~~”.

Her semblance is the ability to manipulate her appearance. This makes her excellent in secret missions as she could make herself look different, and also this is how she gave herself a female body to accomplish her dreams of being a woman. And, of course, how she hides her tails and ears. She’s gotten so excellent at this ability that she can maintain her feminine form while asleep, and most of the time can continue to hide her ears and tail while asleep too. But if she completely changes her appearance, that’s harder to maintain while her mind is occupied.

Grelle’s weapon is hands down the most messiest. She legit has a fucking CHAINSAW that can shoot out bullets of dust, but she usually uses it to hack up grim that gets in her way. She’s the best at stealth missions due to her semblance and fox-like abilities, but as huntresses they don’t really have jobs like that very often. She’s also VERY strong, but she doesn’t look it because of her appearance semblance.

#(THEY ARE READY!!!!!!)#~wєlcσmє tσ α wσrld σf nєw ѕσlutíσnѕ; wєlcσmє tσ α wσrld σf вlσσdч єvσlutíσn~ |RWBY Verse|#~єvєrчσnє thínkѕ thαt wє’rє pєrfєct; plєαѕє dσn‘t lєt thєm lσσk thrσugh thє curtíαnѕ~ [Kira Black]#~fєєl líkє í’m fínαllч unвrσkєn; fєєl líkє í‘m вαck frσm thє dєαd~ [Linkette]#~cαrrч mє thrσugh thє fíght; вαthєd ín twílíght~ [Midnight]#~whαt‘ѕ wrσng wíth вєíng cσnfídєnt?~ [Grelle Sutcliff]#~чσu‘rє α nαturαl; α вєαtíng hєαrt σf ѕtσnє~ /Character Study/#fandom: RWBY

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justaflipfloppingpotato · 5 years

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The references for the new comic are done! :DDDDD

holy shit this took longer than anticipated, but whatever! it’s done now and i’m happy :]

it’s called “The M3th-H34d and essentially this story takes place in a dystopian world after ww3 where a dictator government called the MOTH controls everything. the comic will follow tweek and his adventure making his way to destroy the MOTH for good and finally bring freedom and peace to the world again. he will eventually meet Craig in the comic too, and there’s eventual creek. (also tyde, bunny and jyle on the side)

I already have the story completely lined out, i should have the first part up in the next few weeks. i hope you guys enjoy it :D!!

more detailed refs and backstories under the cut!

trigger warning for: body horror, gore, mentions of torture, suicide attempts, implied self harm, and lot’s of other stuff too (this au is really dark, and while there are some lighthearted moments, it’s has really morbid bits in it. please please please tell me if i need to tag triggers for this au)

Tw33k-34k:

Gender: Cis Male

age: 27

Race: white

Height: 5,1 (154.94)

Birth date: 8/17/2121

Occupation: none

Tw33k was a boy when The MOTH took him in. after being branded by the government facility and experimented on with methamphetamine he finally had enough. With the help of a fellow test subject and a book his therapist let him borrow: he managed to escape from The MOTH, leaving a mess behind him.

Now he lives his life as a runaway who swears to whatever god is out there that he will free everyone in this fucked up world and face the leader of The MOTH: Dr Meyers herself.

Craig Tucker

Gender: Cis Male

age: 24

Race: latino/white mixed

Height: 6,0 (182.88)

Birth date: 1/25/2124

Occupation: former MOTH associate in training

Craig tucker was born into The Moth association and was fated to be a future surgeon. However, when test subject TW33K-34K escaped containment, the distraction and craziness of it all allowed Craig to see something he wasn’t supposed to. He truly realized what this facility was used for. Since he had high clearance he was able escape the facility for good.

Life as a runaway was hard, especially when you’ve never had to run before. Craig managed though, and taught himself how to survive on his own, even if that meant stealing from a gang or two.

Clyde Donovan

Gender: cis male

age: 23

Race: white

Height: 5,5 (165.1)

Birth date: 4/10/2125

Occupation: former Moth government assistant.

Clyde donovan was an assistant of a government higher-up. Even though the man he worked for was weird, the money he made to help his refugee father was worth it. One day though, he saw something he wasn’t supposed to, and in order to keep him quiet his mouth was sewn shut and he was tortured before being left to die. He was later found and taken in by a runway.

He now lives his sad life hooked up to an IV to keep himself from dying. At least he has his partner to keep him company

Token Black

Gender: agender

age: 26

Race: black

Height: 5,10 (177.8)

Birth date: 6/20/2122

Occupation: former athlete in training

Token was born within a rich family who had ties to the moth. They were in training to become a professional athlete before they lost their leg and left eye to a group of MOTH officials after getting too close to private business. Before they died however, a former surgeon runaway found them and took them in. the runaway cleaned up their wound and gifted them a prosthetic leg and a new eye.

Token’s eyes were opened after the incident and they swore their life to help the man who saved them. They ended up being trained to become a medic for runaways. Helping people escape The Moth is their life goal.

K3nny McCormick

Gender: Cis Male

age: 23

Race: white

Height: 5,3 (160.02)

Birth date: 3/22/2125

Occupation: none

K3nny sacrificed himself to The Moth to save his family from being taken. After being taken in he was experimented on with a pill that would allow the human body to survive without food, water, and air. The pill worked, but it turned k3nny’s insides to a dark and squidgy mush. He made a pact with subject tw33k. Tw33k was to escape and come back to rescue k3nny when he had the chance. K3nny ended up getting impatient though and escaped on his own.

He ended up finding a group of runaways who gladly took him in. even if he was still suffering on the inside, he was at least (sorta) free now.

Mari “Butters” Stotch

Gender: trans female

age: 25

Race: white

Height: 5,0 (152.4)

Birth date: 9/11/2123

Occupation: none

Mari grew up troubled. Her parents didn’t accept her as she was, and she was forced to identify with her dead name. She was beaten by her father almost daily and it didn’t help that her mom was fucking insane. When the pain became to much, she attempted to jump off of a building. Before she could jump though, she was stopped by a group of runways who gladly took her in and accepted her as she was.

she lives a happier life than she once did now that she is more comfortable in her own skin. This group of runaways is her family, and she will help protect them with her life.

Kyle Broflovski

Gender: cis male

age: 38

Race: white

Height: 6,2 (187.96)

Birth date: 5/26/2110

Occupation: former therapist,

Kyle broflovski, or Dr. B, was an ambitious young man who strived to help people. He worked hard to get a doctoral degree in psychology, surgery, and engineering. When he was finally accepted to be a therapist at the Moth care facility, he met a woman who changed his life and taught him the basics of orb engineering. After the escape of subject Tw33k though, he realized his mistake of coming to the moth. His morality couldn’t allow him to stay, so he gave up his dream job. His lover despised him for the decision,

Dr. B, ended up living life as the protector of the runaways. Hoping to free them from the moth.

Jimmy Valmer

Gender: cis male

age: 28

Race: white

Height: 5,9 (177.8)

Birth date: 5/13/2120

Occupation: comedian

Jimmy valmer grew up with comedy as a hobby. Always going into cafes and bars to give the poor people of what was laugh. However, his life changed on his 21th birthday when he met an older man at a bar. The two chatted and jimmy found out that the man was a protector of the runaways.

Eventually, jimmy joined the man in helping protect the runaways, The man made jimmy high quality leg braces and crutches with orb technology. It reminded him of his ex, but he didn’t mind. Even if he was now no longer legally allowed on the streets, being a runaway was worth it for the man that changed his life.

Dr. Meyers

Gender: cis female

age: unknown

Race: white(?)

Height: unknown (thought to be 6,4/193.04)

Birth date: x/x/2xx4

Occupation: current leader of The MOTH

The heart of the project.

The one they all strive to take down

The dictator who keeps everyone in check

The government itself

She is the heart and soul of the moth, and she will not go down without a fight

Betty

Gender: female

age: 12

breed: american staffordshire terrier (pitbull)

Height: 19 inches (48.26)

Birth date: x/xx/2136

Occupation: protector

Betty is the sweetest dog you will ever meet.

After being left tied to a tree in an abandoned campsite by her previous owner, she found a human who was finally nice to her.

From that day forward, she stood by the humans side through thick and thin.

helping, comforting, and protecting her twitchy blonde haired human every step of the way

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bonus relationship chart for your troubles :]

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pankittyxo · 5 years

Text

You are Human ( Platonic Taekook)

Trans! Taehyung x Jungkook

(Platonic)

It was a normal yet quiet evening in the BTS dorm. Everyone had gone to sleep except Taeri, who was currently taking her midnight shower. She couldn’t shower with any of the other boys due to her biological gender, so instead every night she waits until everyone goes to sleep to shower. As she washed her body, she felt the water run down her very curves as well as the two lumps of fat on her chest that were her breasts, and the feeling of it made her feel sick to her stomach. They were obviously there, and she hated it. Baggy clothes did help ease the feeling, but she was forced to wear tight clothes for their group concept every day. She gets a queasy feeling every time she puts them on. She had yet to come out to her company as transgender, but there was no way her group members or company would accept it. They only saw her just as a simple tomboy, not a man. She hated lying but she knew they would never understand.

After awhile, she steps out of the shower and dries herself off carefully with her soft towel, making sure all the wet spots on her skin had been dried. Eventually she stopped when she caught her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She stood up straight as she stared into the eyes of her own reflection. Her dark brown shoulder-length hair was damp and sort of stuck to her forehead, and her towel was doing its best to cover her chest and curves securely.

“Look at you..” she whispered to herself, internally wincing at her voice. Even her voice was super feminine, “your pathetic..” she insulted herself for feeling this way.

She should be proud to be a woman, shouldn’t she? She didn’t know, but what she did know was that she wasn’t proud. She wished she could have a flat chest, and a more masculine shape as well as voice, just like her members. She wished she could be seen as a man, and not just a tomboy. She started to tear up in anger the longer she looked at herself, and soon her eyes traveled towards the scissors Seokjin had left on the bathroom counter after cutting his hair. She looked at herself one more time, the tears falling down her face this time, and she closed her eyes as she swore under her breath,

“Fuck it..”

She reached for the scissors and started to cut off her shoulder length hair. One by one the strands of hair fell to the ground, until her hair was as short as a male’s. She saw herself again, her hair now short, choppy, and messy, and she couldn’t help but cry some more. She dropped the scissors and fell to the ground, sobbing into the palms of her hands in order to keep quiet.

Jungkook, who had gotten up to go to the bathroom, had heard the sobs of Taeri from the other side of the door. His look softened, he hated when his members cried, especially his noona. He gently knocked on the door, “Taeri-noona? A-are you okay?”

Taeri stopped sobbing the moment as she heard Jungkook’s voice. ‘No, he can’t see me like this, not now’ she thought. She cleared her throat before speaking, “y… yes Kookie, I’m fine. Just give me a bit.” Her voice cracked at the end of her sentence and for that she cursed at herself.

“Are you sure? What’s wrong? Please tell me, I want to help,” Jungkook gently pleated, he just wanted to help. Whatever his noona was going through, she shouldn’t have to go through it alone.

There was a silence, and a bit of rustling on the other side of the door, but eventually the door opened slowly, and Taeri showed herself to her dongsaeng, fully clothed in a baggy shirt and pajama pants. Jungkook looked shocked as he saw his noona’s messily-cut short hair, and tears running down her face. “Noona, what happened? Why did you cut your hair??” he exclaimed, Taeri shushing him for being too loud. Taeri sniffled before speaking, “nothing Kookie, good night,” she tried to walk away but Jungkook grabbed her wrist.

“Taeri-noona… please tell me whats wrong,” Jungkook insisted.

“Stop calling me that.” Taeri accidently snapped. Jungkook was shocked by her outburst, “noona-” “I said stop it. Stop calling me noona and stop calling me Taeri” she snapped again, her mouth has got a mind of its own now.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asked, genuinely confused. “Tae-” before he could finish, Taeri began to cry again, and Jungkook’s heart hurt so much to hear her sob the way she did. He pulled her into a soft hug, rubbing Taeri’s back in an effort to soothe her. “Tae.. Whatever’s going on, you don’t have to go through it alone. Let me carry your burdens with you..”

Taeri sniffled before speaking, “you wouldn’t understand..”

“Why? Because I’m a kid?” Jungkook asked warily.

“No… no..” Taeri reassured him, “you just wouldn’t understand..”

“Try me,” Jungkook insisted, “whatever is going on, even if I don’t understand, I will try to. I just don’t want you to suffer alone like this. Your my best friend Tae.”

There was another silence as Jungkook held Taeri in his arms, only her soft sniffles filling the silent hall, before she finally spoke, “I hate being a girl..”

“Huh? Why?” Jungkook asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“I hate being a girl. I hate having this chest, I hate my curves, I hate my voice.”

“But they’re all beautiful-”

“That’s not the point Jungkook. I hate being a female. I wish.. I wish I were a male instead. Like the rest of you. I wish I were born a man, I wish I had a male body, and not.. This!” She motioned to her body in an exaggerated tone because she was so emotional. She wiped her eyes, “I probably sound insane don’t I..?”

“No.. I don’t think so..” Jungkook spoke softly.

Taeri looked at him surprised, “What?”

“If you feel like your a boy then, that’s okay, right? I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with that. I think what you feel is real by the way your telling me. You’re not insane, your being human. You are human, Tae..” Jungkook told her very honestly, “I don’t care if your a boy or a girl, I love you all the same Tae, and I’m sure the members will too.

Taeri, surprised by Jungkook’s understanding and acceptance, smiled for the first time that night, and she hugged him, drying her tears on his shirt as they hugged, “Thank you Kookie…thank you so much..”

They stay there for a little bit before Jungkook asked, “so.. Would you like me to call you Tae and Hyung from now on?”

“Actually.. Could you call me, Taehyung, from now on? And just, keep it between us until I tell the other members?” Taehyung asked him softly.

And Jungkook smiled, “Of course I will.. Taehyung-hyung.

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This was my first Taekook fanfiction, and also the first time writing about a transgender. I’m sorry if I got some things wrong the transgender bit, it was my first time writing about it.

Hope you enjoyed! Thank you!

#bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #taehyung #kim taehyung #jungkook #jeon jungkook #V #Kookie #taekook #vkook #trans!taehyung #Trans!tae #transgender #accepting maknae #kookie loves tae no matter what

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mypralaya · 5 years

Text

“Gender Roles”

(Note: This ficlet deals with transgender experience and identity, and from the POV of a trans man. It also concerns gender identity and expression in Chinese and Indian culture. The writer, me, is a cis woman who is white and American. I have every intention of respect, but if I get something wrong, please tell me!) “So you're telling me,” said Lee, “That drag queens are STRAIGHT in China?” “Well, they're not exactly drag queens, any more than girls who play Peter Pan are...drag kings, if that exists?” said Haven. After Lee assured her that they indeed very much did, she continued, “And while I am sure not all are straight, any more so than in every other profession, the majority of them seem to be. They have wives, families, all of that. It's simply a job and is not considered an unmanly act in this context, from what I understand. Of course, that may change now that women are allowed to perform female roles, and are starting to do so. Once it becomes the norm for it to be a female job, perhaps it will become seen as feminine.” “So it's not feminine to get dressed up on stage as a woman, so long as that's considered a man's job,” summarized Lee, “Wild.”

Haven had not been sure she should come to Pride. She was not exactly clear on the unspoken social rules regarding a heterosexual woman's presence there, even as a supporter. There was Pride in Mumbai, of course, but what applied there might not apply here. Which was part of why she wanted to see New York's version, to see the differences and commonalities between the cultures, but not if it would be considering threatening, intruding, or voyeuristic for her to do so. She'd asked around though and no one she had spoken had thought there would be an issue, so long as she was respectful. Which...it was Haven, no one expected her to be anything but. Indeed, if anything, it was one of the people who “belonged” there that had been rude to her, not vice versa. A young man named had Lee come up and made quick conversation with her, and then, apologetically but curiously, asked if she was a hijra. That is, one of India's third-gender, a group most analogous in Western terms to transgender women, but their own distinct category. It was not the first time someone had thought this of Haven. With her grandiose height that put her head and shoulders above most other females in Mumbai, and a clothing style that concealed the extremes of her outrageously feminine figure, it had happened a few times, often much more negatively than this. But only in India. Never anywhere else. She'd never even met someone in America who knew what a hijra was, and was instantly intrigued by why Lee did. She was also not offended---hijra were some of the most beautiful and glamorous people there were! Lee, it turned out, was a transgender man. He was also a trans-national adoptee, given up by his Chinese parents to American ones for not being a son. It had taken him until he was fourteen to realize they were wrong, he was a son all along, but it was not until he was twenty-three that he started truly expressing that through his dress, his hair-cut, the binder that flattened his chest smoothly beneath his striped tank top, and his chosen name. He'd picked the name Lee simply BECAUSE it was so generic and stereotypical for a boy of a Chinese heritage that he felt it sold the idea easily that he was born with it. In the course of researching for answers on his own gender identity as a teen, he had explained to Haven, he'd run across articles on hijira and other such culture-specific gender categories. But he hadn't heard of nandan, a practice of necessity in the all-male Peking Opera, which she'd brought up when they started discussing the topic. This was because nandan, or dan for short, was not actually a gender category, or even a part of LGBT culture at all, as she'd just explained. It was simply men playing women's roles in the Peking opera, offered by her as an example of how such things were seen differently depending on time and place. Lee was intrigued, and had wanted to know more. Even if it wasn’t regarded that way in Chinese culture, anything that could be classed as cross-gender intrigued him, and the fact it came from his birth heritage was first thing about it that had ever made him interested in it. He’d never wanted to reconnect with a culture he never had, but this was something he did feel connected to. Haven told him about nandan, and about their all-female counterparts, the nuxiaosheng of Shaoxing opera, in which it was reversed and women played both male and female roles, no men. “It’s not common anymore, of course, and hasn’t been for decades,” she explained, “You see, during the time of the Cultural Revolution, traditional Chinese theatre was deemed as bourgeoisie and thus wiped out. It’s come back since, but it’s never regained its popularity. And as I said, it’s not required anymore than casts only consist of one gender, because it is no longer considered improper for both sexes to be on-stage together as in the Ming and Qing dynasties. Still, I did meet a dan once---we were very good friends, in fact. He actually, well...he considered himself to be courting me. At least that was what he claimed. In truth, I don’t think he was in love with me at all. Certainly not as a man loves a woman. I think he was simply in love with me as a muse---which is really much more flattering, so much so I feel rather vain for claiming it. But he told me himself!” Lee nodded, thoughtful, “So...was he gay?” “Well...” Haven pondered, “He presented himself to me as a suitor, so I would assume he did not wish to be thought of as attracted to men. But...well, I cannot speak to what his truth is; only he knows. I...I never really thought about it, since I was not reciprocal either way, so it did not matter. But I suppose, without realizing it, I did think that he must lack desire, either for women specifically or altogether. Otherwise I don’t think I would ever have entertained the “courtship” at all, let alone been alone with him, chatting in his dressing room where he sometimes had his shirt removed as he showed me his new ways of moving his arms most gracefully in a manner he swore was meant to imitate me. Despite the fact I have never handled a fan so elaborately in all my life.” Lee laughed, then said, “That is super common for drag queens though. I know you said they’re NOT, but I mean the part about getting inspired by real women. I’ve seen about a dozen Dolly Partons and Diana Rosses.” “I am in good company then.” “Yeah---the big difference there is, they go for really flamboyant women? Like Lady Gaga and Madonna. And you’re uh...you’re not.” Haven laughed a little, “I doubt I could have been his muse if I were. You see, there are different dan roles for different types of female characters. He played a dan role called the Guimen Dan, also known as Qingyi, verdant-sleeve, or Zheng-dan, straight role---straight meaning here like the “straight man” in comedy. They’re meant to represent mature women, sometimes married, not flamboyant at all like the vivacious young Hua Dan or the warrior girl Daoma Dan roles. I’m very much not either of those.” Indeed, she was not. Lee admittedly had thought that she would be more flamboyant, before he had talked to her. Her elaborately embroidered gorgeous clothing and abundance of jewelry and hair he’d thought just HAD to be a wig because LOOK at it how could all that be real? But she was...very subdued. Not the kind of big loud bombastic personality associated with a drag act at all. But probably in line with what that type of nandan she’d described was looking to imitate. The kind of woman that, perhaps, in another time and life, he’d have been expected to be, as though just being expected to be a woman period wasn’t bad enough. He’d spent a lot of time hating that ideal, hating every girly-girl in his class when he was a child all through elementary school, scowling and sneering at them simply because they embodied what had been forced on him, and he had hated them for that. It was mis-aimed, and he knew that now. But something about someone like Haven, a woman so clearly and comfortably aligned with the expectations of her sex, still sent a subtle shiver up his spine, that old childish repulsion pushing back against what had been pushed on him. He felt ashamed for that. It wasn’t the fault of women like Haven that he’d been expected to be one---and indeed, he hadn’t even been expected to be halfway like her by his parents. They’d been PROUD that their “little girl” was a “tomboy” and they’d never held young Lee back from anything “she” had wanted to do just because it was “for boys” or any of the usual cliches. They had, in fact, encouraged him with all the “girl power“ media they could get. Which, as it happened, included more than one cross-gender tale of a girl going undercover as a boy. But he’d never empathized with stories like Mulan, of girls pretending to be men. He related far more to the notion of men performing as women, because that’s what he had felt like for his whole life til very recently---he just hadn’t signed up for the role willingly. Instead, saw himself in movies and books where a man had to pretend to be a woman—-especially with the inevitable humiliation and reluctance with which the man faced it, since this was always framed as a debasing comedy at the man’s expanse, which was how it felt for Lee too. But it surely didn’t feel that way for nandan, did it, if they did so by choice like their more flamboyant drag queen counterparts in the West? Perhaps, he wondered, for some of them, they were not men dressing up like women. Perhaps they were women who had to dress like men in the rest of their lives, and only when in costume were they their real selves. Maybe that was why this Haven woman had never felt discomfort at being alone with her shirtless “suitor” when by her own admission she should have balked at such impropriety. Maybe she sensed subconsciously that “he” was really a sister under the skin. She’d said she’d never know his truth, but maybe she did. Maybe she’d recognized her dan for who “he” truly was without realizing it, the way Lee had always yearned to be recognized as a boy by other boys, even before he knew he was one. Or maybe Lee was projecting like hell, he did that a lot. Speaking of that... “I’m sorry I asked if you were a hijra,” he said, “Seriously that was...that was not cool. And I should know that, of all people.” “Oh, it’s quite alright,” she said, “I take it as a compliment.” “Okay, but---I just don’t want you to think it’s like, okay. You never ever ask someone their gender or if they’re trans, it’s...it’s a big no-no, I don’t know why I did it.” Because when he’d seen this tall, brightly-colored creature with her raven Rapunzel hair and flowing fuchsia clothes and shoulders wider than his own, all his years of proper LGBT-etiquette were forgotten because he was fourteen again and looking at pictures of “Indian eunochs” again and realizing, for the first time, there are people like me! And he’d called out to that, literally. A false flag, it turned out. She was not only no eunoch, no hijra, she was as stereotypically and traditionally heterosexual and cisgender and gender-normative and all of that as they came. And as apologetically as he’d asked about her identity, she had asked if it was alright that she was here. “Well, there’s a lot of debate about that,” he said,“But uh...I’m glad you were.” It was then that he received a text from his friends saying they were here and ready to meet up by the leather booth with the weird animal masks. He dashed off with a goodbye and as Haven watched him disappear into the crowd at a hearty job in the New York heat, she thought she saw, just for a moment against the myriad made-up faces of the colorful crowd, there like a coyly smiling ghost whose gaze was directed right at her in the perfect imitation of her own, the familiar white and red mask-like feminine visage of a painted Chinese opera dan.

#fic #writing

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hanramz-the-fander · 7 years

Text

Die a Happy Man

Soooo... I took a vote on Amino, and this song fic is the result...

This is going to be a bit different cause I created Trans!Virgil, so we’ll see how that goes...

Also, Roman is a head taller.

Pairing: Prinxiety

Warnings: Mentions of transphobia, self hate talk, a panic attack, and some overly sweet fluff. Read at your own discretion. (Please let me know if I missed anything!)

Word Count: 4074 (By far the longest I have yet written!)

Let me know about typos and other errors, critisism is welcome!

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Roman walked into the coffee shop at the same time he always did and ordered the same thing he always ordered, but when he turned away from the counter, he paused. A small figure sitting in the corner had caught his eye. They wore dark clothing, very unlike his own white garments, and they seemed upset.

As he stood there, the object of his attention seemed to feel his gaze and looked up, and Roman froze. They were gorgeous! He gathered himself and walked over to introduce himself. "Sorry if I was staring, I saw that you looked upset and was wondering if I should come and see if you were ok. My name's Roman." The -boy?- sat there for a minute before replying "I'm Anxiety". "May I sit down?" "Sure, if you want."

Roman took the seat opposite Anxiety and asked "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm fine. And why do you care, we just met." They looked rather nervous, and the princely man thought carefully on how to proceed. "Well, I love to help people and rescue them from whatever may be ailing them. It's no more than a prince would do, and I do try to live up to those standards." Anxiety scoffed "A prince? Really? So now I'm just one more charity case, a tally mark for your self esteem? No thanks". "What? No! I don't do charity, I just like to help people! But if you don't want help, fine, I'll leave you to your misery. You obviously don't need me around for that." Roman was quite shocked at the thought of helping people as a charity, he genuinely enjoyed talking people through issues in their lives. But this character didn't seem to want help, so he started to get up to leave. Then he felt a hand on his arm. "No, wait! I- gosh I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, I get defensive and snarky when I meet people, please, don't leave..."

Roman sat back down slowly. "Well, what's up?" Anxiety sighed and ran their hands through their hair. "It's kind of a lot," they muttered. "How long do you have?" "As long as it takes," Roman said quietly. The dark one hesitated, "I know I look like a guy but I'm not... I'm a trans female, I use she/her pronouns."

Roman was elated. He'd never met a trans before, and he got excited. "Really? That's so cool! How did you know?" Anxiety was surprised that the other hadn't run off when she told him, everyone else had. "Well, everyone was using he/him pronouns, but it just felt wrong, and a couple years ago I was reading about others who had the same problem, and that's when I realized I was a girl." "That's great, welcome to the LGBT+ community!" "Thanks- wait, are you part of it to?" Roman grinned. "Yeah, I'm pansexual, have been for a long time." Anxiety smiled back timidly, and Roman nearly swooned. She had a beautiful smile.

"So what has you sitting here so dejected?" The smile faded. "A couple weeks ago I came out to my parents... They didn't take it very well." "Oh no," Roman whispered, "what happened?" "They disowned me... and then they outed me to everyone I knew. They gave me 2 hours to pack and get out. So I got on a train and just rode 'til I got here. I've been living in a hotel since I arrived."

Roman couldn't believe what he was hearing. "They outed you to everyone? How could they, how could anyone do that? That's despicable!" Anxiety gave a dry laugh. "I'll tell you how, they're Catholic, the most rigid form of any religion ever to exist. They thought I was bad enough without this on top of it." "Well all I have to say is screw them, and you won't have to live in a hotel anymore. You're coming with me." She stared at him. "What? I- what are you saying?" Roman smiled warmly at her, "I'm saying to pack your bags, you're coming to live with me. And no arguing, my mind is made up. You need someone to take care of you and I can do that. Let's go to the hotel to get your stuff." "But-" "Ah, I said no arguing. Come on. Oh, and did I mention that I have a mansion?"

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Baby, last night was hands down

One of the best nights that I've had, no doubt

Between the bottle of wine and the look in your eyes and the Marvin Gaye

Then we danced in the dark under September stars in the pouring rain

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Anxiety had been living with Roman for about a month when he opened her door an said "Put on something nice, we're going out." She stared at him blankly. "Nicer than what, and where are we going?" He just smiled and gestured to her sweatpants and t-shirt. "Anything is nicer than that." "Hey, don't insult my comfort like that!" she said, acting hurt. "I need my comfy clothes!" "Alright, alright," he laughed. "Just get dressed, we're leaving in twenty minutes."

Twenty minutes later

When Anxiety walked down the stairs wearing black skinny jeans and a tightly fitting t-shirt Roman's breath hitched. She was dressed so casually but looked so good. She clapped in his face and said "Hello, earth to Roman! Are we going or not?" He mentally shook himself and looked away. "Yeah, let's go."

During the drive Anxiety kept asking "Where are we going?" but he just shook his head with a smile and said "You'll see".

They eventually arrived at a small Italian restaurant near a river. Anxiety looked at Roman questioningly, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the door. "Why are we here?" Roman smiled "Well I thought it might be nice to get out of the house for a while". As they walked in and were led to a table, she noticed that he didn't let go of her hand, and it didn't seem like he planned on doing so. Her cheeks grew warm and she thought, What? I can't have a crush on him! I've only known him for a month! And he could never like me, I'm just someone he's taking care of out of pity... While they were being seated he did finally let go, and Anxiety tried to hide her blush with the hair she was growing out.

Later, when they were almost done eating, Roman asked suddenly, "What's your name? I mean, I know you go by Anxiety, but what's your real name? You don't have to tell me if you don't want, I was just wondering". "No, I don't mind telling you, I just-" she paused for a moment "- I really don't like it and I want to find a new one. My name is Virgil. It's a guy's name so I want to change it." Roman smiled softly. "I like that name. And I would be glad to help you find a new one if you want." "Thanks for the offer, but why do you even care? I'm just someone you're taking care of until I get on feet. You don't need to help me, you don't need to care..." Virgil's voice trailed off and she looked at the floor. Roman was shocked. "Of course I care, why wouldn't I? You're not just a charity case, or anything like that, you're a human being who is sweet and kind and funny, and a pleasure to be around. I don't think I could stop caring about you if I tried! Trust me, you're an easy person to care about. Now, about your name, is it alright if I call you Virgil for now, or do you want me to call you something else?"

It took a minute for Virgil to process that speech. When she did she said quietly, "Please don't call me Virgil, if you don't mind." "Very well, then, how about I call you Angel, cause you seem as close as you can get to being one." The nickname and compliment made her blush darkly, and she muttered, "That's fine I guess." Roman grinned "Alright then Angel, how about some wine to finish the meal?"

The wine made Angel feel bolder and more at ease, and they talked freely for a long time. Finally, Roman decided it was time to leave. He paid for the meal and they walked out, but when they didn't walk back to the car Angel asked, "Where are we going now?" Roman replied with the same infuriating "You'll see". He led her along the riverbank, and they came to a small flat area clear of trees. Roman pulled out his phone and turned on a song. He said to Angel "May I have this dance?" Angel froze for a minute, surprised, before slowly putting her hand in his. As he pulled her close he thought She is truly beautiful. I wish I could tell her... but she would never feel the same. I'll just enjoy this dance while I can.

As they swayed to the music it suddenly started to rain. Roman swore and stopped, but Angel didn't let go and whispered, "I like the rain. Let's keep going". He looked at her for a moment, at the way her eyes were shining, at how wonderful she looked in the rain, before he pulled her closer than they had been. They danced slowly, gazing at each other, each wanting to say what they were thinking, neither having the courage to do so.

Eventually Angel started shivering, so Roman took her hand once again and they walked back to the car. It was a silent ride home, each lost in their own thoughts. When they pulled in, Roman was about to get out when Angel stopped him and smiled gently. "Thank you for tonight, Roman. I had a good time." He smiled back "I'm glad you enjoyed it, Angel. I hope we can do it again sometime." "Yeah, that'd be nice." With that they got out of the car, walked into the house and went to bed, and that night they dreamed of dancing through the night.

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That red dress brings me to my knees

But that black dress makes it hard to breathe

You're a saint, you're a goddess, the cutest, the hottest, a masterpiece

It's too good to be true, nothin’ better than you in my wildest dreams

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It had been six months when Roman said, "Hey, there's a party this weekend, you want to go?" "But I don't have anything to wear!" Angel whined. "Well then we'll go shopping. Let's go."

Timeskip to the store

When Angel walked into the clothing store her jaw dropped. It was huge. And when Roman said to pick anything she liked, she squealed and ran off, leaving him to laugh and follow behind. When he finally caught up he found her looking through the dresses. She looked up at him shyly. "I've never worn a dress before. Do you think that would be ok?" "Of course, Angel, why wouldn't that be ok? You're a girl, you're allowed to wear girly things." She grinned excitedly. "Thanks Roman!" With that she grabbed a few dresses and dashed off to a changing room.

He wandered around for a few minutes before he heard "Hey, Roman, can you come look?" He walked to the door of the room she was in. "Here I am, what did you want me to see...." His voice failed him as she opened the door and he saw her in a short, tight dress that left little to the imagination. He felt his face flush the same red as the fabric as she stood quietly, waiting for his opinion. "Well? Do you like it?" she asked nervously. He cleared his throat and said carefully "It's great, I do like it. Uh, it looks nice on you." She smiled happily "Thanks! Now I'm going to try on another!" She spun around and closed the door again. He looked absently through the clothes around the changing room until she called again. "Roman, I'm ready!"

This time, when she opened the door, Roman froze. He forgot how to breathe, forgot how to think, forgot everything but the figure in front of him. She was wearing a long black evening gown that fit her perfectly, and she looked stunning. When he started coming back to himself, he heard "... you okay? Can you even hear me?" He shook himself. "No, yeah, I can hear you. Sorry, it's just... wow. That is magnificent. We are definitely getting you that one." She giggled and twirled. Wait, is she blushing? That is so cute- no, keep yourself together, Roman. No thinking like that. "Well, then, are you ready to go, or do you want to look for something else?" "No, these will do, as you clearly seem to like them." She grinned cheekily when he started turning red again.

"Alright, let me just go pay for this-" "No, Angel, I'm buying them for you." "But- no- I can't ask you-" "You're not asking, I'm telling. I want to buy the dresses for you. Please, let me do this." Angel sighed. "I just don't like being beholden to anyone. I guess it's fine, you can buy them." Roman smiled and patted her on the shoulder. "Thank you Angel. And you won't be beholden to me, it's a gift." Having said this, he paid for the dresses and they walked out, and if you asked Angel if she stayed a little closer to Roman than she had before, she would deny it to her last breath.

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I don't need no vacation

No fancy destination

Baby you're my great escape

We could stay at home

Listen to the radio

And dance around the fireplace

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The evening of the party, Angel realized that she had never seen Roman dressed up before. He was wearing a marvelous suit that not only fit his figure perfectly but also seemed to fit his personality. It was such a deep yet vibrant black, and his tie was a dark blue with red stripes. She couldn't help but stare, he looked good in a suit.

She herself was wearing the black dress that he seemed to like so much, so not only was she staring at him, but he was staring at her! She forced herself to stop mentally screaming and sauntered over to him. "Well, don't you look spiffy?" He didn't respond for a minute. Then he smiled "Thanks, you don't look half bad yourself". She mock-gasped "'Don't look half bad'? Really? I would think you could do better than that." He laughed "Alright, fine, you look great. Now, we should get going if we want to get there on time."

Timeskip

When they arrived at the party, Roman noticed that Angel was fidgeting and looked quite nervous. He reached over and put his hand on hers and said reassuringly "It's ok, you're gonna be fine." She smiled shakily and took a deep breath. "Ok. Thanks."

They walked inside, and immediately Angel was turning heads, some not in a good way. She clung to Roman and whispered, "They're staring. They probably think I'm despicable. This was a mistake." Roman stopped walking and turned towards her. "Angel, look at me. It doesn't matter what they think. You are beautiful and you look amazing in that dress. You have nothing to fear while you're with me." She stood there looking at him, then threw herself at him in a hug. "Thank you Roman. That means a lot." He wrapped his arms around her and smiled. "You are very welcome, my dear."

They finally stepped back and went on, finding food and drink, Roman introducing her to some of his friends. Music was playing, and some people were dancing to it. After a while a song came on that made Angel pause. She turned to Roman excitedly. "This is the song we danced to in the rain! Come on!"

She grabbed his hand and practically dragged him to the dance floor. Roman was surprised at this sudden outburst, but her smile was so big that he couldn't help but smile back and dance with her. They got lost in each other's eyes, and eventually Roman pressed their foreheads together. Angel gazed at him for a moment, but then she turned away and buried her face in his chest.

This made him pause. He then noticed that her breathing was fast and erratic, and that she was clutching his shirt and trembling. He whispered to her, "Hey, you alright?" She just shook her head and held on tighter. "What's wrong?" She just shook her head again and the trembling got worse. Roman was really getting worried. "Ok, I'm getting you out of here." He bent down to pick her up bridal style and carried her away from the dance floor. He carried her out to the car and put her gently in the back seat. Then he got in the car and drove toward home. Good thing we live so close. I hope she's ok.

They got back to the house, and by now Angel was sobbing. Roman carefully picked her back up and carried her inside and laid her on the couch. She immediately curled into a ball and cried harder. Roman didn't know what to do, so he went with his instinct: he sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap, encircling her in a hug. He just held her as she sobbed, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, and he gently ran his fingers through her hair.

After a while the crying slowed, and she started to uncurl herself. When she realized she was sitting on Roman, her eyes grew wide and she scrambled backwards, apologizing profusely, and she started crying again. Roman quickly knelt down next to the couch. "No, hey, it's ok, what's wrong?" "It-I- just- I- I- can't-" "Shhh, it's okay, you don't need to talk, I can wait." He kept doing his best to calm her down, and soon enough she was calm enough to say quietly "Why are you so nice to me..." Roman responded with calm intensity. "How could I be anything but kind to you? I care about you, Angel." "But why? Why do you care? I'm nothing, I don't matter, I'm not worth anything... You should just let me go and find someone who's worth your time..."

Roman was shocked: how could anyone think so badly about themselves? "Angel, look at me. You are not worthless. You matter. I care about you because you are sweet and funny and kind and beautiful and so many other wonderful things. Angel- you are worth everything I could possibly give you. I care about you and nothing will ever change that." She was stunned. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. After a moment she tackled Roman in a hug, and he laughed and hugged her back. They sat there for a while, just enjoying each other's company, when Roman said, "Hey Angel." "Mmm?" "I thought of a new name for you." She sat up and almost screamed with excitement. "What is it, what is it?" Her reaction made him laugh. "Well, I have several that you can choose from. You have Beatrice, Sarah, Sharon, Gail, Nicole, Victoria and Vivian." "Wow, they're all so pretty. What do they mean?" "Beatrice means 'she who makes others happy', Sarah and Sharon both mean 'princess', Gail means 'gay or lively one', Nicole means 'victory of the people', Victoria means 'victory', and Vivian means 'alive'."

Angel pondered for a few minutes. They were all so nice, but did any of the meanings apply to her? "Roman? Why these names?" He suddenly seemed shy. "They all have meanings that are something I see in you that you don't, so I wanted you to have a name that reminded you of those things." She smiled and took his hand. "That's really sweet of you, thank you. Hmmm... I think I like Vivian the best." "But that's so similar to your old name." "I know, but it will remind me that I am alive and have things to live for. Roman, thank you for the wonderful options, they were great. And... sorry for making you leave the party... I know you were really looking forward to it, and I had to go and have an attack, I'm really sorry I ruined the evening-" "Let me stop you right there. Vivian, you didn't ruin anything. The only reason I went to that party was so I could take you. To me, it doesn't matter what we do, so long as we do it together. I care about you so much, I-" He stopped and looked at the ground. "'I' what, Roman?" He took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. "I love you, Vivian."

Her world froze. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, all she could do was stare in disbelief at her crush of many months. He liked her back! He loved her! How can this be happening?! She couldn't have stopped her next words even if she had tried.

"I love you too."

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And I know that I can't ever tell you enough

That all I need in this life is your crazy love

If I never get to see the Northern Lights

Or if I never get to see the Eiffel Tower at night

If all I got was your hand in my hand,

Baby, I could die a happy man

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They had been dating for over a year now, and Vivian knew that Roman was planning something. He would be on his laptop, but when she walked in the room, he would immediately close whatever he had been looking at and try to look innocent. She knew something was up.

That's why, a couple weeks later, when Roman said they were going out for dinner, she was instantly suspicious. Of course, her anxious mind went Oh no, he doesn't like me anymore, he's going to break up with me, what did I do, oh no oh noohnoohno- calm down, it couldn't be that serious, honestly. Be realistic. But what if- no, we're not going there. Zip it!

That night, Vivian found herself walking into the same Italian restaurant they had eaten at on their first night out all that long time ago. She remembered that so fondly. This night was much the same, eating, drinking, talking and talking about anything and everything. Then, just as before, he rose and took her hand, and they walked to the little clearing, not talking, each enjoying the other's presence.

When they reached the clearing, they stood, lost in thought, for what felt like hours. But Vivian was shaken from those thoughts when Roman's hand left hers. She turned, and he was facing her with his hands behind his back. He said, "Vivian, we've been together for a long while now, and I've enjoyed every second of it. But now, looking to the future, there's no one else I'd rather have by my side than you. Even if I never got to do great things, or go places, having you with me would be enough. I would give up everything, even my dream of seeing the Northern Lights, to be with you and to make you happy.”

Then he got down on one knee, bringing his hands forward to show a small velvet box. "You are the love of my life, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Vivian, will you marry me?"

Her eyes were wide, her breaths were short. She could barely comprehend what was happening. Once she finally understood what he had said, she screamed as she tackled him "Yes! Yes, of course I will!" Then they were laughing and crying, and he slipped the ring onto her finger. They gazed at each other in utter bliss, until they leaned forward and kissed so hard it took their breath away.

And they lived happily ever after.

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For their honeymoon, Vivian, who Roman still sometimes calls Angel, planned a trip to see the Northern Lights, just for Roman. And sometimes, on their anniversary, she will secretly plan a trip to someplace new and exciting to surprise him, and he loves her all the more for it.

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Well, that was quite the ride! Hope you enjoyed it!

#My fics #prinxiety #trans!virgil #Virgil sanders #Roman sanders

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