#I think I might have been mistaken to assume that
kyouka-supremacy · 5 months
Thoughts on odazai? I wondered if your reasons for disliking dazai apply to this ship since it doesn't seem to function the same way other popular dazai ships do
Mmmmhh okay first off, I'm afraid my dislike for Dazai transcends all ships (╥﹏╥)
But I do think odazai is very enjoyable for its own uniqueness!! Oda is the only person Dazai respects, literally, and that's bound to make their relationship distinctive and unique. I feel like respect should come with every healthy relationship, so you see the appeal here? Odazai is the only ship that shows a side of Dazai that finally feels authentic– it shows a side of Dazai that is willing to care. For the rest of the franchise Dazai's character is pretty much up to interpretation, there's the mystery element of never being able to tell what's going through his mind, but Oda's existence alone is enough to show us a true face of Dazai for once– which is nice, because Oda showed us a side of Dazai that is capable of love. Which wasn't exactly predictable given Dazai's nihilism, cruelty and apparent disregard of human life; and yet even him is capable of love. And he truly is! Even if you don't like them romantically, Dazai's love (platonic, if you prefer) for Oda is undeniably there, and it's nice, it's miraculous to get to witness it. In a way, Anon, maybe you're right! I don't like Dazai, and still odazai has the power of making Dazai feel sympathetic: because it shows you a man who cares about another person, and who would do anything for them; and then that person is taken away from him. You just can't not feel sympathy for that, it's inherently human to relate to and be touched by another man's suffering, and a thousand times more so when such suffering is moved by love. Odazai is the only ship that makes me want to ship it because I think it would make Dazai happy, and makes me feel happy for him.
Odazai is a sweet, tragic, comforting ship. People have definitely put it more eloquently and in detail than me, but it's just the completely lack of judgement on both sides which is SUCH an appealing aspect. They can be their true authentic selves with each other, and it must have been so staggering and exhilarating and overwhelming for Dazai specifically who probably didn't even know who he himself was– how much human he could be. There's the mutual respect, the genuine admiration. There's the feeling of being accepted and understood like they aren't by anyone else– they both share this morally grey view of the world, and they are the only ones who aren't judgemental of the other's lack of morals; they get each other. In a world that results meaningless to them, they can be each other's reason to live. Then there's the making each other better?? Seriously, what other ship makes Dazai even slightly better. Oda canonically changed Dazai's whole existence prompting him to do good for the rest of his life with six words. And again, the fact alone that Oda is the only person to ever make Dazai capable of love– that's as good as it can get! Dazai is the best he can be as soon as he allows himself to be vulnerable and emotional and soft and honest, and Oda prompted him to do exactly that. And I know that's very arguable, but we literally do not know if Dazai ever truly loved anyone after joining the good guys, or if he's just doing good things because Oda asked him to instead of having an innate will to do good for a genuine love of human beings– maybe he's really doing all of that solely because he loved a man and he will never love anyone else; we really have no way to know, and it's up to interpretation. My take, while we're at it (because I'm drunk on tiredness and I can't stop talking), is that Dazai, even if coming from a place of having no fondness for humans and exclusively doing good because he was asked to rather than for a true conviction, got so accustomed to doing good, he actually... Became good (Aristotle and moral virtue being something you can get better at by practicing it). In that case, Oda would be someone who literally taught Dazai to love, and that's beautiful in its own way.
I didn't get much into Oda's side of the relationship; I feel like I don't know Oda a lot, I only watched the Dark Era episodes of the anime once ten months ago and even Beast doesn't feel like giving away much of his personality. But I do like to think he would love Dazai; if else, I feel like Dazai too is a special person to Oda like no one else is.
Also like, there's the fact that they're quite literally canon. Like I don't know what to tell you it's literally there. Not that many men out there Osamu Dazai would literally abandon everything he's ever known, completely turn his life upside down, start doing good without even believing in good, for. Characters who aren't canonically gay but who's actions don't make any sense until you interpret them as gay and stuff. It barely even count as queerbating tbh like it's just right there.
#Writing this was illuminating. Still don't like Dazai tho 😔#osamu dazai#I feel... Some of this *may* apply to Daz/atsu too but I have mixed feelings about it#sakunosuke oda#odazai#If they use the same criteria to write the name on Dazai's tomb they did for Oda it's literally going to say “o.dazai”#bsd#bungou stray dogs#mine#people asks me stuff#Thank you for this ask! As you can see I love giving my opinion on matters lmao#Besides yesterday I finally got around to finish watching the Beast movie and man I was not prepared for–#Dazai's voice cracking at the bar Lupin scene that scene was so good#Tbh for most of the time in the bsd fandom I thought fyo/dazai was my favorite Dazai ship but tbh...#I think I might have been mistaken to assume that#I mean I never thought about fyo/dazai as intensely as I do for odazai#And granted I don't think about Dazai a lot either way but still ///////#I MAY have rewatched some odazai bits from s2 ep4 and I MAY have gotten a little bit too emotional over these two#I mean. Dazai's desperation seriously??? Why is he suddenly so human??? I can't make this post any longer but I'm sobbing#I'm thinking about that time - I made a post about it that's going to be published at some point but whatever -#that time I was showing Oda's death scene to my cousin for whatever reason#And Dazai entered and he throws his coat away#And my cousin goes “what was that why did he throw his coat away”#And I answered without beating an eye “because that coat represents his position at the pm and everything he's ever known#and he's willing to throw all of that away and leave everything behind without even thinking about it if it's for Odasaku”#I'm not sure where that came from so promptly but I still think about it a lot#The fact that Odasaku spent the last moments of his life advising his friend on how to live because he cared about him–#and his last wish was literally for him to be happy and live a peaceful life. Okay that was not very heterosexual of you#Bones didn't have Dazai cry in that scene because they're cowards
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nanawritesit · 6 months
Obey Me! Characters As Types of Couples You’d Be
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A/N: No one requested this 🙃 But I couldn’t stop thinking about it while I was working at the coffee shop all day so here you go :)
Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Solomon
Lucifer: The Old Married Couple
You two are the extremely established couple. Anyone who knows of your existence knows you’ve been together FOREVER
You have a perfect morning routine together that involves helping each other get dressed and cooking breakfast, and you guys get out the door on time every morning.
Everyone laughs at you for your duality. One minute you’ll be intensely arguing over who has to do the dishes, and the next you’re cuddling up to one another and kissing
You guys get on each other’s nerves a LOT
But you’ll always be each other’s rocks. At the end of the day, coming home and seeing him gives you so much comfort.
You can’t keep any secrets from each other, and why would you want to anyway? There’s nothing about you that he wouldn’t love
You’ll support each other through anything, and no matter what life throws at you, you always make it work ❤️
Mammon: The “Ride or Die” Couple
You’re the “most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse” pair.
Like if any of your friends could bring a couple to a back alley fight, they’d pick you.
You’re practically inseparable. Every time someone sees one of you, the other is soon seen tagging along behind them.
“Partners in crime” is your nickname from the brothers 💀
You always go on missions together, fiercely protecting one another against your enemies. You’d take a bullet for him any day and he’d do the same for you!
And it’s not just in physical fights either. If anyone ever dares to talk shit about you in front of him, he will tear them to shreds. Similarly, all the brothers know not to tease Mammon too much around you.
Leviathan: The Anti-Social Couple
People won’t see or hear from you for DAYS.
In fact if it weren’t for your couple twitch streams, they might assume you were dead 😀
Your friends know that if you aren’t given at least two weeks prior notice, you won’t be showing up to an event.
And early mornings? Yeah forget it. You two won’t untangle yourselves from each others’ arms until at least noon.
Which leads to a lot of late night anime marathons or gaming sessions! Dinners consist of ramune sodas and cup noodles, followed by a dessert of snack cakes.
You’ll go back and forth between hyperfixating on the same franchise, and not speaking to each other while on your own separate devices. Each cycle lasts about three hours.
Satan: The Smart Couple
You two are constantly fighting for the top spots in your classes.
To the innocent stranger, you could be mistaken as enemies. You engaged in heated debates, and often had different points of view.
But during study hall, people would find you curled up on a couch in the library with you in his lap as you both read your books.
On the rare occasion that you agreed on something, you were an unstoppable team against the opposing side. You’d eat them alive and leave zero crumbs.
Despite the debating, you guys are always proud of each other. He cheers the loudest when you’re awarded top exchange student at an assembly, and you’re practically his campaign manager when he runs for class representative.
Cute study dates where you wind up collapsed on top of him on the floor, books and coffee cups strewn everywhere <3
Lucifer comes in and covers you both with a blanket 🥺😭
Asmodeus: The Aesthetic Couple
You’re each others’ official photographers. If someone looked through your phones, they’d be full of well shot pictures of the two of you both together and solo.
You guys at the mall, you eating ice cream, him at the book store, you guys at the coffee shop…
And of course each photo shoot goes straight to devil gram. You’re practically an influencer couple, and everyone ships you so hard.
You guys took some spicy pics in lingerie together and they went VIRAL 🔥
Every time you go literally anywhere, random strangers will come up to you and tell you you’re the most beautiful couple they’ve ever seen
Most people didn’t know which one of you they were more jealous of, sometimes leading to them beginning to question their sexuality 💀
You have the same sense of style and always have the coolest outfits. At every event, you always look the best, and everyone is constantly raving about it afterwards.
Stealing each other’s clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, and bags is completely normal. What’s Asmo’s is yours and what’s yours is Asmo’s 🥰
Beelzebub: The Cuddly Couple
Also known as the “PDA couple.”
You guys HAVE to be touching in some way at all times! Whether it’s linking pinkies, his hand in your back pocket, your arm around his waist… if you’re in the same room, you’re practically attached at the hip.
You can never seem to be close enough to him when cuddling. Even if your noses are touching, he’s gripping onto you tightly and telling you to get closer.
You guys love feeding each other, much to the annoyance of the brothers
You sitting on his lap is his favorite form of non-sexual intimacy. He just loves how small you are compared to him, straddling his lap like a koala with your little legs dangling off the chair. He’ll play with your hair and tuck your head into the crook of his neck, smiling down at you affectionately.
Leaving the house without giving each other a kiss is practically sacrilege 😌
You have sickeningly cute food-themed nicknames for each other. Cupcake, honey bunch, sweetie pie, love muffin, cookie…
Belphegor: The Rebellious Couple
You two are always either plotting or executing some sort of diabolical scheme.
You plan the best pranks, and they get talked about for years afterwards. No one else could ever top them
As a result, a lot of your dates happen when you’re both grounded to the attic as punishment.
It was honestly stupid of Lucifer to consider a night trapped in the same dark room full of nothing but cozy blankets as a punishment. You didn’t need anything to entertain you when you had each other.
You’d make the world’s coolest blanket fort and hold each other close in it all night, foreheads pressed together as you talked for hours between kisses
You two never get in trouble without the other though, because that would mean you get punished separately :(
Feeding off of each others’ chaotic energy in class and annoying the teacher until you both get sent off to detention
Running away from Lucifer together, laughing and holding hands as he chases after you
Diavolo: The Power Couple
The two of you together are truly fit for royalty. All his subjects agreed that you were the rightful rulers of the Devildom.
You were a symbol of peace and love, making everyone feel safe and cared for
You always attended charity events together, making speeches and bonding with demons who needed help
You two throw the BEST parties. Your ballroom outfits are the envy of all, and everyone can’t help but swoon at the sight of you dancing the night away 🥰
You guys do interviews together, smiling at each other as you discuss your relationship with the public
Shielding each other from paparazzi, nonchalantly striding past them holding hands
“MC and Diavolo” becomes the new standard by which all other iconic couples are held.
Your fairytale wedding was the most watched program in the history of the Devildom ❤️
Barbatos: The Dependable Couple
If anyone has a job that needs to be done right, they’ll come to the two of you first.
The two of you just take care of everyone so well in addition to running the Demon Lord’s Castle.
You often tag-teamed as the brothers’ therapists. Barb would comfort Mammon while making dinner, and you would give Satan advice while doing the dishes, then you would both take a trip to Purgatory Hall to help Simeon and Solomon with a spell
Time-traveling together ❤️
You guys don’t get a lot of privacy and have been caught getting intimate by Diavolo a few times 💀 He’s also innocently interrupted your dates, not realizing how big of a third wheel he was being.
You started planning how to find the young lord a partner of his own so he’d leave you alone. And you figured you might as well get the brothers into relationships as well while you were at it.
Simeon: The Romantic Couple
Everyone thought you were the perfect couple, and they honestly weren’t that far from the truth.
You guys dominated practically every love language: writing each other poems, having regular date nights, making passionate love, helping each other with chores and school, buying each other cute little gifts…
You take spontaneous trips to the celestial realm and everyone there freaks out upon your arrival 🥺
Romantic picnic dates in the flower gardens by a pond, with champagne and chocolate covered strawberries… putting flowers in each other’s hair and lying next to each other in the grass ☺️
Every once in a while, if the weather was hot, he’d convince you to come for a swim with him in the pond. Your clothes would be left on the bank as you laughed and splashed at each other, floating out to the middle and holding onto each other, foreheads pressed together with your hair dripping wet
He actually wrote a new romance novel inspired by you, and it becomes one of history’s most beloved love stories ❤️
Solomon: The Mysterious Couple
No one ever seemed to know what you guys were up to. You were extremely private about your relationship.
You guys walked everywhere together, but hardly ever engaged in PDA. You never felt the need to, because what went on behind closed doors was enough for both of you.
You were the closest thing this world had to soulmates, being so connected to each other’s hearts… the kind of love that transcends thousands of years
Working on your magic together, going on missions and adventures to acquire mystic elements and uncover ancient secrets ✨
Everyone knows when you two are close because they can smell a strong aroma of herbs and smoke
People aren’t 100% sure whether or not they can trust you… you’re both so charismatic and charming, but at the same time there’s this suspicious air of mischief that you both seem to feed off of
You guys really don’t even care what others think of you… the only thing you care about in life is loving each other for all eternity
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More not so incorrect Ortus thoughts.  I’ll preface this by saying, I understand Harrow’s behaviour is a trauma response and she deserves empathy and understanding. In Harrow the Ninth, Harrow reverts to how she was before Canaan House due to the muddled timeline. She’s back to being awful, acerbic and fully convinced she is surrounded by cretins.   (Stuff such as thinking flesh magic is pedestrian, the horror at being mistaken for anyone who could find meat interesting, sneering at anyone who could find meat interesting.)
Like it strikes me how insufferable, how patronizing and condescending she really is towards Ortus. We get a glimpse of how she treated him waaaaay before the muster was called. Though she has a wicked biting sense of humour, its still mean
She genuinely believes that she’s successfully pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes with the puppet show because she's soooo smart n they’re so dumb. Its alluded to when she talking to Ortus about his father, she says almost surprised. "You knew?"
Not only did his friends die but afterwards his Father is perennially downcast for every after, possibly depressed -- murdering 200 kids will do that to a man -- but his Dad killed himself for them to boot. The Nona family take take take and this fetus has the cheek to believe he doesn’t have the intelligence of a root vegetable? His reply is one of the few times that Moira doesn't vocalise him as sad, you can hear it in her voice, the sheer contempt for this sour tongued, inconsiderate child lecturing him and talking down to him. "You are not the only person, My lady, who can put two and two together and get “four.”
Though he’ll never blame her or treat her with anything other than respect, all his friends, romantic prospects etc etc were murdered so she might be born. He's had to live and grow up alone, the Noniad is his coping mechanism and she constantly insults it. He too has to represent a generation of Niners and achieve something great.
As a sword swinging cav, he'll die and it shall be a waste. But a manuscript? It might last and will let people know the Ninth existed. He existed. And what they valued and stood for. The pen is mightier than the sword they say.
One day he had friends, went to school, was a kid, and the next he was the only teenager left alive. Imagine how devasting and lonely that must have been? The survivors guilt he must have suffered?
Imagine, a solitary child returning to a cavernous empty school hall, an abandoned black ball in left in the back of the football net, jackets that shall never be out grown hanging on pegs left to decay. A heavy empty silence where once there was light and life and the laughter of children. Fading memory and ghosts the only thing to keep him company.
The accusatory stares from the parents of those lost children, their resentment, rage, grief silent but caustic. Wondering why he was spared, knowing why he was spared. 
The survivors guilt he must have suffered? (My heart, I cant!) God! All the lil teased together tidbits that ask you to think deeper about Ortus just kill me. We don't deserve him. Muir did a great job of making us dismiss him in the same way Harrow/Gideon did/does, only to bring him back n slap us with: Never judge a book by its cover, or assume you know someone's journey. Be freaking Kind!
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fieldofdaisiies · 8 days
Azriel x Reader | Till Death Do Us Part? pt. II
type: angst warning(s): depressive thoughts, gloomy, mentions of war, mentions of death and loss word count: 1.8k words summary: based on this request: Azriel is shattered over the loss of his mate, his life no longer makes sense until one day when he sees her again. He cannot believe his eyes–this is his mate. Only problem she does not remember him or what they once had and moreover is now part of his sworn nemesis’ court–the Autumn Court. 
—all rights reserved—
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Azriel’s feet are rooted to the ground. He cannot move. He cannot breathe. His soul comes alive, the bond, dull and dead for so long, starts to glow again when Azriel’s eyes trail over your figure. It is true. This is you. There is no mistaking. This is you. 
His mate. His lover. His wife. His homes. His once believed dead mate. How is that possible. 
His knees give in first when Azriel tumbles forward only getting caught by Cassian in the last moment before he made friends with the ground. 
“I assume you saw what I saw?” Cassian questions when he steadies his brother, holding him up, having a tight grip on his upper arms. “This can’t be. This is—“ “It is her,” Azriel rasps, slowly getting back his grounding. His holds himself up by the general’s arms until his knees no longer feel so wobbly.
How is that possible. You died —have died— in his arms. He held your head when you inhaled your last breath, when your chest made its last heave, when your heart did its last beat. How could you stand here now? This was not possible. But at the same time there is no denying that this is you. You look just like the same. You walk just like the same. Your facial expression are exactly the same. 
Azriel threatens to lose his grounding again but before he knows what he is doing his legs carry him over the ground. He is determined, shoving Cassian who is trying to hold him back away. He ignores Nesta's and Cassian’s words of worry, their words of caution, telling him to stop, to come back, to not go over immediately. 
Azriel ignores it all, there is only one target and that is you. He has to see you, speak to you, hear your voice again. He has to find out if it is really you.
Maybe once up close he is hit in the face with the realisation that he has been mistaken. That right in front of him there is another person. That this is not indeed you. 
But even when only one metre away from you he knows, he is one hundred percent sure, that this is you, his mate, standing right there, behind Eris.
Is the mother playing tricks on him? Is she mocking him for something? Is this a payback for all the lives he has taken in his life? 
He bolts through the crowd, making a beeline for you, regardless of all the people he is shoving out of the way, his wings tugged in tightly. His whole body is shaking, heart beating rapidly against his ribcage, hammering in his throat and cold sweat breaks out on the back of his neck and his palms. 
Air wheezes out of his lungs, when dread collides with disbelief, making his soul split into a million parts. 
The spymaster comes to a quick halt right in front of you, Eris currently not paying attention so his has to take his chance. Your gaze moves to the male who suddenly stopped next to you and for a long moment you forget how to breathe. 
He has robbed you of air to breathe and of thoughts to think. Your mind is blank when you take in the stunning male right next to you. 
“Is this possible?” he breathes, his eyes trailing over every small details, the ones he has loved to kiss and worship in the past, while his hands are balled into fists at his sides. He is worried he might touch you, making sure you are really real. You lift your gaze, lips parting slightly while you assess him. You find yourself unable to speak for a moment, he is the most beautiful male you have every seen and something seems so familiar about him.
Through dry and parted lips you say, “What is possible?”
The breath gets knocked from your lungs when you watch shadows appear from behind the male, smoothing over his shoulders, stretching out, and his wings flare a little bit. He is cruel, stunning beauty, mysterious and lethal and every part of you wants to get to know him. 
But Azriel, Azriel he fins himself in shock. The clueless expression on his face, the questioning eyes — you don’t know him. You don’t remember him. How is that possible? How can you not remember him? After all you have shared, after all you have been through. How can you stand here, right in front of him, all flesh and blood, breathing, alive, but having no remembrance of who he is. Azriel knows, that he has once been your everything, your mate, your husband, your home, your life, your world. 
He swallows around the lump in his throat, clamping his eyes shut to keep the building dampness in. “You don’t remember?” he questions, his voice barely above a whisper, lips only slightly parted.
“What? What should I remember?” you ask, your heart squeezing at the pain in his eyes. “What is your name? Maybe this helps?”
His throat starts to burn, constricts. Azriel wants to open his mouth, but is interrupted.
“Azriel, spymaster of the Night Court.” Eris steps between you and Azriel, shielding you form the tall, dark male. “My spymaster, Y/N.”
His whole body trembles at your name. You still have your name, so there is truly no mistaking. 
But his spymaster? This has to be a nightmare. The most cruel and painful nightmare ever, but why does he not wake? Why is there no waking up from this. It can’t be real. There is no logical explanation for it. 
“Am I not here as your guard, High Lord?” you say, your voice a tone playful when you glance at Eris from the side. Eris chuckles lowly and Azriel’s heart sinks into his lower belly, shattering when it hits the bottom. Why are you acting like this around Eris? Haven’t you loathed him once as well?
“Lady Y/N, I am, but I am also here to tell you—“ Eris gives Azriel a once over— “to stay away from this male.” Eris crosses his arms in front of his broad chest. “And you are not to speak to my spymaster.” “And you are not to tell me or her what to do. She seems like a grown female, she can speak for herself.” That rattles you somehow. That this random male speaks up for you like that. 
You smile at Eris and give your head a little shake. “The spymaster of the night is right. I am a grown female and I can speak for myself, but if you do not wish for me to interact with anyone from another court this is fine.”
It is not fine, Azriel thinks, his soul yearning and he wonders why your soul isn’t feeling the same. The problem is, you cannot quite place the odd feeling in your soul. It feels like longing, but what would you be longing for?
“Good,” Eris says and a smile full of pride spreads over his face. “We shall meet the High Lord now, excuse us,” —his voice turns low and dark— “spymaster.”
You want to move past said spymaster, but he is quicker, softly grabbing you by your shoulder which makes you wince. It is his grip, how softly he holds you that makes something like memories spark in your mind. Like a deja-vu. 
“I need to talk to you later. It is urgent,” Azriel rasps, his throat so damn dry. He looks deep into your eyes, hoping to convince you that way, have you loved his eyes so much back then.
You slowly dip your chin and part your lips. “About business?” 
Azriel wants to say, ‘no about us’, ‘about what has once been’, ‘about our bond’, but he does not. He slowly nods his chin. “Yes, about business. Security business, from one spymaster to another.”
It makes sense, but you don’t really buy his lie. It is obviously a lie, his posture, how he has said it, how he acts have given him away. You feel like you know him, know that he is lying. But still you find yourself agreeing to his suggestion. You want to know what he has to say. You need to know it. 
And so he, hesitantly and not wanting to, lets go of you arm, letting you slip out of his hold, just like back then when you died in his arms. 
And he lets you go after him, after his nemesis. After the person he hates so much and that you seem to have come to like. 
This feels like a dagger piercing right through his heart. Anguish about the talk later on collides with panic over you being in Eris grip collides in side of him and makes a kernel of dread bloom in his chest. Azriel wipes his sweaty palms down his pants when a hand clasps his shoulder tightly.
“It is her?” Cassian asks behind him and all Azriel can do is nod. After a long moment he brings out a yes. 
And then waiting for you — it is dreadful, long, Azriel’s heart finding no rest in his chest. But, even though you don’t remember him, he finds peace in seeing you alive. His soul slowly heals and he revels in the feeling. It is warm, tastes like honey, feels like a summer evening. Love. 
Azriel hasn’t felt this in so long and he knows, he is sure, that he can make you his once again. You have fallen for him once, he could manage that again. There is another chance for you.
A smile, fully on its own accord, spreads over the shadowsinger’s face when his eyes follow you through the room. He just ignores whom you are trailing after, after that night you will be his again, the High Lord of Autumn long forgotten when you are in his arms again.
A spark of hope ignites inside of Azriel, colliding with the soft feeling of happiness when you turn around and tilt your head towards the door, signalling that you can talk now. 
And so you end up in the corridor outside the throne room before Azriel leads you to a chamber, a study apperently, close by and closes the door behind you two.
“So? Business?” you asks, leaning against the table and staring at him. Your tunic parts slightly and your dagger is revealed which has Azriel grinning — oh, you always used to do this.
“Not business,” Azriel says, his voice low, shaking slightly. “We have to talk about us?” “Us?” you question and raise a brow. “There is no us.”
“But there once was.” 
tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @cityofidek @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22  @valeriedarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian  @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess
taglist for TDDUP: @ladylokilaufeyson5 @buckysimp101 @autumndreaming7 @lucyysthings @feiwelinchen @kemillyfreitas @margssstuff @im-bili @goldentournesol @leeknows-wife @waywardcasbutt @reiincarnatiion @thesongofselene 
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nogenderbee · 4 days
Kazuha, Heizou, Albedo with reader who's emotions match weather
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⊱ Kazuha didn't payed it much mind, weather can be unexpected so it could be simple accident that your emotions were matching the weather, although a gust of wind told him to keep closer eye on you
⊱ he'll need to be next to you through it happening many times for him to believe it, after all, something like that don't happen every day
⊱ he never really brought it since he thought that if you would like to talk about it then you'd tell him yourself
⊱ although one day, the wind told him it was perfect time to ask you about it and he just went with the feeling
⊱ of course, he didn't wanted to straight up ask you about it but he didn't really saw any other option
"YN, could it be true that your emotions have influence on the weather? Or is it the other way around? Or maybe I'm completely mistaken?"
⊱ it doesn't really matter to him how you've ended like this, he cares if you're comfortable with yourself being like this
⊱ if you're not, he'll do everything he can to help you or try to get someone who might know how to help
⊱ if it doesn't bother you tho and you even like it, he won't do anything and instead will find it amusing
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⊱ Heizou noticed it almost immediately, I mean... he IS one of the best detectives in Inazuma
⊱ although at first he thought it was just accident that weather matched your emotions, after all weather have influence on people
⊱ so he just assumed that weather works extra on you, so of course when it was raining and he saw that you were sad, he went to cheer you up, and once smile shined on your face sun shined as well?!!
⊱ now he's definitely interested, if you're mortal there's no chance you can change the weather unless you've been cursed, but he definitely would want the last scenario
⊱ with time he believes his assumptions are true but he still decides to ask you to confirm it
"YN, forgive me if it's too straight forward but is there a chance that you're not a mortal or that are and been cursed?"
⊱ if you really were cursed, he starts being worried about you since it may not be the worst curse but something else might happen in the future
⊱ if you been like this since you born, he'll be interested and motivated to know the truth seeing many possibilities and new questions forming inside his head
⊱ be ready that he'll start a little investigation with you unless you mind that is
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⊱ another one that noticed it almost immediately but Albedo thought for longer time that it was just accident for your emotions to match weather
⊱ he didn't believed untill he saw with his own eyes how the weather quickly changed from rain to sunny day when he was comforting you through worse day
⊱ that situation definitely was an evidence he won't just throw aside, instead he proceeds to observe you and he can definitely tell one thing: you ARE a mortal
⊱ so now he's worried and interested how could it happen that your emotions match with weather but he still have thought saying it was just accidental occurrence in the back of his head
⊱ but what's better way to discover the truth than asking you? He thinks it'll be the easier to just ask you than they discovering it all by himself
"YN, please be honest with me, do you know your emotions match the weather far too often for it to be an accident? If so... do you know why is it happening?"
⊱ no matter if you told him if it's a curse or you've been like this since you can remember, he'll try making an antidote for you
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mikesbasementbeets · 6 months
i’ve been thinking a lot about elmax recently and how it seems like the show is genuinely setting them up romantically, while also consistently establishing max and lucas as a romantic pair
keep in mind, this is the show that has been setting up byler since season 1. they seem to know what they’re doing when it comes to queer coding, so i refuse (for the purposes of this analysis at least) to believe they’re unaware of what they’ve been doing so heavily and blatantly with elmax, and also with max in particular (el too, but i’m focusing on max).
i've talked about why i think mike wheeler is gay. this is why i think max mayfield is bi. and elumax should be endgame.
queer coding of max mayfield
right off the bat: her name. max. just like el was at first, due to her shaved head, max is mistaken for a boy by those who don't know her. first the party, who see the name madmax at the arcade, and later dr. owens in season 4 (he might even assume that she's el's boyfriend). when she's first introduced by mr. clarke using her full name, maxine, she quickly corrects him. it's max.
this leads into the larger point of queer coding around max. her androgynous fashion sense, the way she carries herself, distancing herself from performative femininity, ie, playing video games ("girls don't play video games,"), skateboarding, making friends with an all male friend group, her general "tomboyish" presentation and attitude - all of it reads as heavily queer coded to me. i'm not saying that any of these things is necessarily queer, or mean that a person in real life is queer, but the way it all comes together in max feels like a purposeful character choice.
i'm not an expert in queer coding so there's probably a lot i'm missing, but one of the biggest signs for me is max's constant association with rainbows. the other characters have their color palettes, and max has rainbows. literally. as many times as mike and will have been coded with rainbow imagery, max is drowning in it.
and then there's the most important piece of queer coding... her relationship with el. i'll come back around to that though, because i want to talk about boys first. because clearly, max does like boys.
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this shot is largely played for comedic relief, but it actually does something important for the narrative i think. it establishes again, with a max that has (once again) broken up with lucas for reasons she doesn't seem to have really explained, that max is attracted to men. my optimistic reading of it is honestly, "hey, we know what we've been doing here with max, so just in case you were thinking she's a lesbian... she's not." ...or if you want a different fun read of it... max realized she likes girls recently (i'll get to that) and is just making sure she still likes boys. ladies dig it? do they steve? oh, wait, yeah.
she's also talked about other boys with el in the past, showing pretty unambiguous interest in them
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(these scenes are still so gay though seriously... "you must be an angel".... contrasting milven's scene where el didn't like mike's singing... rainbowsrainbowsrainbows... talking about kissing and then emulating a spin the bottle game, later introducing el to wonder woman while they're in bed together, waking up together always rainbows come ON)
and of course, the other most important part of this, her relationship with lucas, which is shown continuously to be one of real, romantic attraction. in season 2, this was mostly established through contrast with her relationship with dustin, who also had a crush on her. max and lucas start off by becoming close as friends, and then begin to develop a romantic connection. max and dustin, meanwhile, are established several times as not clicking in the same way that max and lucas do. they have heart-to-hearts that feel intimate and genuine, and, as steve and dustin discuss, are layered with the kind of "electricity" that denotes mutual attraction.
at the same time though, while we understand that it's genuine on both sides, we're shown that max and lucas' relationship is far from perfect.
for a couple that reads as endgame and has parallels with several of the other endgame couples, they also parallel a lot of the obviously not endgame couples. i'm gonna come back around to that too. first, the other thing.
romantic coding of elmax
elmax. honestly, i can't even get into everything i want to, because it's literally everything about them.
first of all, the start of their friendship is byler romantic coded
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"i just walked up to you and i asked... it was the best thing i've ever done."
this sequence in particular though. this is. so bi coded i'm going insane. (also rainbows rainbows rainbows)
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not hopper, not mike. you. (there's more to life than stupid boys. *HOLDS HER HAND*)
the next sequence is also pretty gay imo but is also kinda just gals being pals, so i'm gonna focus on the song, Material Girl by Madonna. this is definitely meant to be about eleven here, finding herself, away from mike (and it's also just a great shopping montage song), but the shot layout also subtly indicates that it applies to max and lucas too.
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"some boys hug me, some boys kiss me, i think they're okay." and what about girls, max? what do you think of them? el? opinions?
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(the clothes are emulating a literal rainbow flag behind her ok red yellow blue green purple and max is the orange she's part of the flag like shut UP i can't do this anymore)
and. okay. look, i'm not going to fully explain this one but i need to point it out.
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getting back at the straight girl bullies (shown flirting with a boy) in front of a burger king. max taking off her sunglasses (we've talked about the symbolism of mike's shades in season 4) as they run away holding hands. taco bell coming soon. "there's more to life than stupid boys." like. am i reading way too much into this? (yes)
even back to their first meeting though, i'm seeing the seeds being planted. go ahead and read this as purely platonic admiration if you want, i don't care, but there's no way in my mind, especially after seeing seasons 3 and 4. like imagine you're a young bi teenage girl who's been hearing stories about this awesome girl with superpowers who saved everyone's life and then mysteriously disappeared, and then she suddenly mysteriously reappears, saves your life too, and walks in looking like this
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personally, my tiny gay heart would stop.
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but let's actually move on to season 4 for a minute.
season 4 was setting up canon bisexual max
i'm going to argue something here that i don't have a ton of actual evidence for: i think one of the reasons max broke up with lucas after season 3 is that she realized her feelings for el. max's arc in season 4 is all about her dealing with the trauma of last season, and guilt for her role in what happened. the guilt is extremely important to this. it's a big part in why vecna chooses his victims: not just kids with trauma, but kids who feel shame surrounding their trauma. most of that for max obviously has to do with billy's death. but i think there's something else that max is dealing with too.
as soon as i started season 4 i was struck with strong “queer max” vibes. first of all, her more feminine and rainbow splashed outfits from season 3 have been replaced again with the more tomboyish, androgynous style of season 2. and then there's the first sequence we get to running up that hill (which starts, funnily enough, on a scene of el walking down the hall at school, upset). the first time i watched this i was literally shocked because it read so explicitly queer to me.
first, max looks at group of girls (thinking about el, most likely)
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her gaze trails after them, and then, next shot, max looks at a couple kissing
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and then max looks at lucas
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only after watching it again did i realize it didn't necessarily have to be queer coding (if you take it as max missing her friend and then, separately, her ex-boyfriend) but holy shit, if that's what they meant, they did NOT have to put the couple making out in between those two shots, with further shots of max looking away almost guiltily. we all know that lucas was max's boyfriend. they didn't have to precede that shot of him with the shot of the couple. that's already their established dynamic (and we haven't even learned at this point that they've broken up).
what's not been established yet though, is the idea of max and el as a couple. and i think..... that's possibly what's being hinted at here through max's perspective. the sequence of shots is so telling: 1. girl friends, 2. couple kissing, 3. ex-boyfriend. guilt. what i'm getting from this sequence of shots is that max's friendship with el is something she's thought about in a romantic light. max is making this association. and feeling guilty about it when she looks at lucas. whom, despite their closeness still at the very end of season 3, months after starcourt, she has since broken up with. the reason the show establishes for this is that max has been pulling away from everyone since billy's death, dealing with the fallout in her family, her mother's emotional absence and alcoholism, etc, and her own grief, guilt, and trauma around it. that makes perfect sense, and i'm not saying it's not true. but i think el moving away was also a factor.
it wasn't until season 4 that max was shown to have really pulled away, after el moved to california. maybe it's a reach, maybe it's nothing, but max as a character is so similar to mike, who was shown to have exactly this response to the byers' moving away: isolating himself and pushing away his friends, suffering his depression alone, and talking to no one about it. meeting el in season 3 showed us a new, bubbly happy side to max (that, yes, probably also came from the rest of her friendships and lucas, but el's is the one we were shown). max and el spend almost the entire season together, and max is undoubtedly going to be affected by her best friend moving away. especially if, like mike, it feels like she's losing more than a friend.
it's not just those shots though. when lucas tries to talk to her later, telling her he knows something's wrong... as soon as she turns around, there's a rainbow.
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"right, yeah, there must be something wrong with me because i broke up with you."
then in dear billy, lucas confronts her again. and the language reminds me of karen's speech to mike in season 1. and jonathan's to will in season 4. "you know you can talk to me, right? i'm here for you."
guilt and shame are a big part of max's plot this season. the two characters most associated with that for max are billy and vecna - max feeling guilt over billy, and vecna using that guilt against her.
and those scenes also feel intentionally queer coded to me.
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and then there's the dear billy flashback sequence.
while she's trying to escape vecna using her happiest memories, max is also comparing her relationships with lucas and el. they are both friendships. and they are both romantic. she thinks of them in alternating flashbacks. lucas, then el, then lucas and dustin, then el, then max's face, then lucas and dustin, then el, then max's face, and then this particular sequence: lucas, el, mike.
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this may a reach, but... if she has feelings for el, she's probably feeling guilty around mike, too. this is the only shot of mike in the sequence. after this, in quick succession, it's lucas, then lucas, then lucas, and then el.
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then lucas, then lumix snowball kiss, then max's face, then high fiving el, then her eyes open, and she breaks free
there are more shots of lucas than of el, but that's just the thing: max keeps trying to just think of lucas (because, as shown by the shot of mike, the way she's thinking about el makes her feel guilty, which is the opposite of what she wants), but el keeps coming back in. she thinks of her first kiss with lucas, and then thinks of high fiving el after they "dumped their asses." and that's the shot that breaks her out.
(and the song itself? 1. birthdaygate coded, 2. ROMANTIC. baby, darling, angel. you must be an angel. the voice of an angel saving victor creel from henry, el saving max. i'm reaching again. but. seriously.)
and then the flashbacks in episode 9 (and i'm not even touching el's flashback montage here). it's so difficult to be brief about this because they're literally doing SO MUCH here. i'm might have to make a separate post with every shot in this sequence because it's so good. (edit: here)
literally just. go back and watch the entire thing if you need to, but i need to go through this. elmax is unbelievably romantic coded this episode. there is no getting around it.
max chose the snow ball as her happy memory to hide from vecna in, but it didn't work. when vecna finds her, he says, "you can't hide from me, max." max turns around and, with a determined look, closes her eyes. closing her eyes almost seems like she's trying to keep hiding, but facing the door where venca is feels more like defiance. she's not going to try to hide anymore...
in the first shot, she spins the bottle in her mind, and her memories flicker from her first time meeting lucas, to the movies with lucas, to the start of her friendship with el, back to the spinning bottle, and then. the last two shots repeat. movie date with lucas, el approaching her in the street. but the lucas shot flickers shorter, and the el shot lingers, and then it's max's mom tying her hair too tight for the snow ball.
like maybe... this wasn't her at her happiest. forced conformity is killing the kids, right?
and the bottle flickers in again and it's el. it's max dancing in el's room, you must be an angel...
and then we come back to max's face and there are rainbows reflecting in the light
"is mike a good kisser?" el laughing, more rainbows
after that, she gets distracted by vecna and broken out of her memories, and when el shows up, max asks,
"are you real? did i make you?" she was thinking so strongly of her memories with el, she thought that it had worked.... and everything is romantic coded, there's nothing even to argue for here, it's just. there. seriously, like. just watch the episode. it's elmax.
after this the focus goes back to el mostly and it's still extremely romantic but i can't get into it anymore, i need to focus on max.
the way it all ends brings me back to the elumax question again. because right here, i'm clearly seeing elmax/byler vs. lumix/milven. paralleling mike's love monologue failing to help el, lucas' protection, both physically and in her mind, was not enough to save max.
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that was el. that was el that saved her. (of course, she saves your life because of "friendship")
el's love for max is what saved her. not mike. not lucas. elmax.
going back to the latter half of season 3... el and max's relationship progressed very quickly through shared trauma, and max is the one there for el all season... and when billy dies, el is the one who holds her.
season 3 also made it clear that max's relationship with lucas wasn't without flaws.
all of the romantically inept things that mike was doing with el? lucas was doing them first, max was breaking up with him, and lucas was later advising mike on how to fix it. and especially by the end of the season, max seems much more like she's in el's corner than lucas'.
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why i think it's possible max and lucas might end up as friends
after she's broken up with him in season 4, lucas spends most of the time just trying to be her friend again. he doesn't even seem bothered by their breakup (although we don't know how long ago it was), he seems to really just want her in his life again, to talk to him.
and, yes, they spend season 4 rebuilding the relationship in a way i think would be beautiful to see work out romantically. but i don't think it's inevitable. (remember that they also rebuilt stency this season.... as much as they might like each other, we've been shown in past seasons that their romantic relationship was flawed.)
i wish i could get into all the parallels, because they're the biggest part of what confuses me on the show's endgame goals but i really can't because it would take up an entire post. the duffers love parallels, obviously, it's one of their main narrative techniques at this point. and i think they usually work really well, because they're not trying to show that each of these characters or couples is exactly the same. they use parallel situations to exemplify the small details that make each character and relationship unique.
for example, milven and stency often parallel each other, but they're not quite the same. i don't think mike ever had genuine romantic feelings for el. he thought he liked her, but ultimately he's gay. nancy, on the other hand, did genuinely have a crush on steve (hc her as a lesbian if you want, i fully support that, but i think the show thinks she likes boys). that is the show's example of a teenage crush that sparks and then fizzles, not turning into deeper love.
whereas lumix, which also sometimes parallels these two ships (for example, their habit of sitting across from each other rather than beside. not always though... they're inconsistent), i believe is an example of a love that is real and genuine... but might not be meant to last forever. because in addition to those other two, they also parallel byler, jopper, and jancy, which i believe are endgame ships.
to be honest... all of this makes me believe even more firmly in gay mike too. because unlike mike’s complete lack of romantic feeling for el, or nancy's naive crush on steve, this is a narrative that sets up genuine, but possibly not everlasting love. a bi character discovering her sexuality by falling for her best girl friend while she’s dating a guy she also really likes. i think lucas is max’s first love, but not her only.
all this said, i also think it's very likely that lucas and max will end up together, and el might end the show on her own. lucas and max are NOT milven or stency, and whatever flaws they have don't necessarily spell out a doomed relationship. there's a lot of good there too, i just didn't get into it here.
and el's whole character arc has been about family, friends, and finding herself outside of other peoples' influence. i think this could still work if she were with max, since max has always been the most supportive of el's independence and self-fulfillment, but i can really see the show ending with el on her own, and it being a natural and positive conclusion to her journey
either way though, i think with everything they've been doing, they might actually confirm in canon that max and el have romantic feelings for each other (...or indicate it so obviously that they think it’s undeniable and then later confirm in interviews when most viewers don’t get it because they’re too subtle for their own good)
anyway, here's how elumax can still happen
look, i don't really trust the show to be able to pull this off, mostly because it just. isn't something that's done. not in popular media like this. but honestly, it's hard for me to grasp all of this because it feels like the show is telling me that max belongs with both el and lucas. i think most people assume she will end up with lucas after the way their relationship was rebuilt in season 4, and i think that absolutely makes sense. but i truly think elmax has been built up just as much, just a lot more subtextually. it's just that no one expects it to actually happen. 1, because lumix not ending up together would feel pretty disappointing after all this build up, and we don't want to see lucas, who truly loves max, end up alone. especially when max loves him too. and 2, because of heteronormativity - most people assume elmax are only being set us as friends, regardless of whether they're picking up on the romantic coding. and the "norm" is one romantic partner per person. but max needs el just as much as she needs lucas, and the ending season 4 proved that. lucas holding max in his arms, thinking he's alone with her, but then we see that el is actually there too. right alongside lucas. el saved max's life after she died in lucas's arms.
i could just give up and assume that elmax is platonic and they're giving max both a romantic and a platonic love story, but as i've already talked about, max is queer, and her dynamic with el is romantic. (theres so much evidence of this from el's side too that i just didn't get into)
going into season 5, max is in a coma. we already know that lucas is spending his time at her bedside. and i think it's fair to assume, based on el's priorities after the pizza dough freezer, ignoring mike completely to stay with max and lucas, and to revive max, she's going to be very focused on max too.
this is already way too long but i'm almost done, i want to briefly talk about lucas and el's dynamic from season 1. of all the party members, lucas was the most skeptical and deeply wary of eleven. he didn't trust her, and she ended up inadvertently hurting him when he fought with mike. but over the course of the season, they both learned to trust each other, having moments together than felt just as important as el's friendship with mike.
if season 5 is a return to season 1 dynamics, especially seeing the way season 4 left these two characters (sharing the same priority - max), i think lucas and el will spend a decent amount of time in season 5 together, or at least share a plotline (around max?). now that they're finally being given the chance to actually spend time together, i can see them growing much closer next season, maybe even leading to a mutual understanding and acceptance of both of their feelings towards max (maybe even falling in love?). and if max wakes from her coma to discover that the guilt and shame she's been suffering around her feelings for these two people is actually unnecessary, and that they can all be happy with each other, in whatever way they decide, even if other people might not understand?
*slides the duffers $5*
that would be an absolutely iconic ending.
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by-moonflower · 2 months
hijabi!reader | alhaitham knows you have a series of alarms set throughout the day because they usually ring at least once before you notice and hurriedly switch them off. he seems to be the only person who notices too, perhaps because of how hypersensitive he is towards the table surface that buzzes with your device laying face-down.
that, and also because you’ve become his designated seatmate at the akademiya, which means he happens to be around often when the alarms do ring. he doesn’t recall when exactly you became his seatmate, but it probably had to do with your consistent tardiness to lectures. you end up sneaking in through the side door and slinking into the row alhaitham claimed early on in the semester. that definitely had been cause to strike up casual conversation, but alhaitham often sought you out too, especially when you have notes worth peeking at during tutorial classes.
the alarms, however, have been tickling alhaitham’s brain because he can’t seem to gage the reason behind so many set throughout the day. it’s not like you’re taking any medication, or have them in place as a reminder to eat—and it’s not like you’ve ever dozed off in class either.
so, he goes out of his way to ask you one afternoon, because true scholars aren’t afraid of asking questions.
“oh,” you say, with an embarrassed chuckle, glancing at your phone like the next alarm is about to go off at any moment. “they’re not alarms. it’s the call to prayer. i get carried away with studying sometimes that i forget and i really hate when that happens.”
“i see.”
while alhaitham retains that there is no such thing as a stupid question, he did feel disinclined to ask you to explain further. after leaving the lecture hall, he immediately taps into his akasha terminal and tries to find out all he can about your repeated calls to prayer throughout the day.
from then on, alhaitham finds himself predicting when your call to prayers would go off, quite intrigued that the exact times could change by a minute or so each day as they are dictated by the movement of the sun.
what he didn’t know is that learning this about you would one day help you.
at the next table in the house of daena, alhaitham notices you haven’t moved since arriving after the last afternoon lecture. you’re completely immersed in the text before you that he wonders if your phone is on silent or if you missed the alarms.
he checks the time. it should be close to sunset and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was supposed to be a prayer in between the end of the lecture and now.
alhaitham casually makes his way over. “hey,” he begins, though he pauses for a moment at the realization that he might be stepping over a line if he came all this way to remind you about your own religious practice. just who in the world was he to tell you when to pray? so, he improvises. “what time is it?”
“um,” you swiftly pick up your phone, “almost six—” then you gasp, loud enough for the other studying students to give you dirty looks. “i need to pray!” you whisper-scream. alhaitham inwardly breathes a sigh of relief, pleased that his intentions were met.
“i can watch over your things for you,” he offers.
“hmm, i don’t think i’ll make it to the prayer room. can i ask you of a different favor?”
“can you stand guard over there?” alhaitham’s gaze follow to where you point, towards an almost hidden reading nook amongst the library’s maze of bookshelves. 
while you prepared to pray, quietly mumbling about how much easier it is that your hijab allows you pray just anywhere, alhaitham assumes a casual stance by the bookshelves and pretends to peruse through the books. you told him that you often used this space if no one was around to quickly pray when you couldn’t go all the way to the prayer room, but one of the sages caught you once and were rather peeved about it, so you asked him to keep watch for a moment.
he doesn’t mind it at all and he finds your efforts to perform your prayers so diligently rather admirable.
“...yes, but i suspect the proposal would be more comprehensive if you used some of the resources from this section up here.”
alhaitham’s gaze snaps to where the voice is coming from. down the hall, he sees the sage of amurta, naphis, hurrying towards the section where you’re praying with one of his students in tow. you haven’t finished yet and alhaitham takes the initiative to intervene.
“master naphis,” he clears his throat.
“alhaitham, good to see you. what can i help you with?”
“i have some very important questions that need answering.”
“alright, let’s sit down for a chat after i help out hunayn—”
alhaitham takes another step to block the way. “this is a matter of life or death, master naphis. we must discuss it now.”
the sage and his student, hunayn, exchange concerned glances before shifting in their places uncomfortably. alhaitham doesn’t even know what the heck he’s going to ask the sage or how he’s going to keep him distracted for a few moments, though he doesn’t have to when you appear at his side.
“good evening master naphis, hunayn,” you say with a polite nod of your head.
naphis gives you a warm smile but then startles slightly when alhaitham clasps his hands together. “master naphis, please forget i mentioned anything. i figured out the answer just now.” then, turning to you, “let’s go.”
you hold the back of your hand over your mouth the whole way back to your table, stifling your laughter. “were you trying to distract him?”
“i told him it was a matter of life or death,” alhaitham says.
it’s either the nonchalance in his tone or the seriousness in his expression that actually causes you to let out a soft giggle and for some reason, alhaitham feels somewhat glad that finding out more about your alarms has led him to this moment.
“thank you for back there, ‘haitham. i’ll give you a copy of my summaries if you need any supplementary material for the finals.”
“i’ll take you up on that.”
“was that your intention all along?”
but as far as intentions go, alhaitham doesn’t realize that this may be his first semester at the akademiya being concerned about someone other than himself.
could be read as an extension of this drabble
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fear-of-flyers · 4 months
new perspective
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<<play last current song play next>>
featured lyric(s): "you and all of your new perspective now, wish i could shut it in a closet and drag you back down."
parental advisory: mentions of cheating
when you started dating jack in sophomore year there was no denying that he would end up playing professional hockey. and when you were just as serious halfway through senior year you decided you would follow him anywhere; and anywhere ended up being new jersey. jack was playing with the ndtp and you were at johns hopkins studying psychology but when he was drafted it was easy enough to transfer to rutgers. when you got there you were assigned a dorm but started helping ellen help jack look for an apartment. throughout the process jack insisted that you found something you liked too because he wanted you to move in with him. and despite constantly asking “are you sure?”, the two of you found a nice two bedroom apartment halfway between his practice facility and the prudential center but still close to campus for you.
and things were going well. jack was living his dream and you were on your way to living yours. classes were going well and you went to games whenever you could. you were there for his debut and went to dinner with ellen, jim and luke after. and you were there for his first goal in a game against the canucks of all teams. you went out for dinner with his family after that game as well, but dinner was a shorter affair because the team wanted to take jack out to celebrate. everyone understood though and it worked out because ellen and jim got time to themselves while you, quinn, and luke got ice cream at a place near your apartment. at the end of the night you sent them back to the hotel in an uber and welcomed a slightly intoxicated jack back home. “you know i love you right?” jack asked as you were shuttling him to the bathroom. “yeah jacky, i know.” you respond, giggling as he turns to hug you, making the entire process of getting ready for bed harder. “okay good.” he says “gotta make sure you still do after tonight.” hearing that you pause slightly, not having a clue what he was talking about. but you don’t think too into it, assuming he’s referring to being drunk and needy.
but everything comes to light a few weeks later. the devils are on the road in california and after a game against anaheim you keep the tv on in the background as you clean your apartment. jack had texted that he was giving an interview after the game and you wanted to hear it. the game had been good for him, an assist and a goal late in the third that led to a devils win. the interview started normally, he was congratulated on the game and asked about the team; but the question that stook out to you was when the interviewer asked what being in the league had been like so far. his answer? “it’s been really good, it’s like i have a whole new perspective on everything.” as far as you were aware jack’s outlook on life hadn’t changed all that much, but you pushed it aside thinking that if something was really important jack would tell you himself. 
you were mistaken though because the next morning you woke up to what felt like hundreds of texts from everyone you knew. the one that stood out the most though was from pk subban. he had almost adopted the two of you when jack started with the team and had been there for everything you might need. the text simply read “i’m so sorry. i promise we tried to stop him.” sitting up you rubbed your eyes, confused, and scroll through the rest of your messages. they all loosely said the same things and contained the same screenshots. one from nico “he was drunk but that doesn’t excuse it. i’m here if you need anything.” a couple from your friends back home “he was stupid for that, call us asap.” and a couple in the groupchat you had with all of the hughes brothers. luke had seen it first, in the background of someone’s since deleted instagram story and texted quinn to confirm before immediately texting you. the message was simple, a screenshot captioned “jack what the hell?” quinn had responded with something similar and texted you separately to let you know that he wouldn’t choose jack’s side (if that’s what it came to). and jack hadn’t said anything.
for a full day after he cheated jack had no communication with you. no “i’m sorry” or “it was a mistake” not even an “i don’t regret it.” just radio silence. finally, after his third west coast game, on his way to the plane back home he texted “can we talk when i get back?” sighing to yourself you liked the message and went about your day. you weren’t exactly looking forward to the conversation that would inevitably end in a breakup. you had talked to your friends and parents, and everyone said that ending the relationship would probably be for the best. so, taking that into account, while he was on his flight across the country you were packing all of your things into suitcases and storage bins to move into the dorms. your roommate was in a bunch of your classes and when you didn’t initially move in she let you know that the room was always there if you needed a break. 
when most of your stuff was moved you sat on the couch, waiting for jack’s return home. and finally, just past one, you heard his key in the door. you listened as he took his shoes off and placed his keys on the rack ellen made you get. you followed his path further into the apartment via the familiar sounds of his routines until he eventually appeared in front of you. you nodded your hello and motioned for jack to sit on the couch. “so…” he started, trailing off and fidgeting with his fingers. “so?” you prompted, adding “you cheated on me” when jack seemed at a loss for words. “i’m sorry.” jack finally says. “i was drunk and wasn’t thinking. i shouldn’t have.” you nod, expecting him to continue, to say anything that feels genuine but that never comes. “i think we should break up.” you say, not wanting to drag the conversation out any further. jack’s head shoots up to look at you, eyes wide in shock. “what?” he asks. “why?” you almost laugh, “what do you mean ‘why’ jack?” you ask. “you kissed someone else.” at that jack shakes his head “i was drunk y/n, it can’t be that big of a deal.” then you can’t even be bothered to hold back your laugh. “it’s a pretty big deal to me jack.” you say, not getting how he doesn’t understand. “what if i kissed someone else?” 
“that’s different” jack say and you snap. “how the fuck is it different jack? how is me kissing someone else different than you kissing someone else? why is it okay for you to cheat but i can’t even bring it up?” you ask, standing up. “is this what you meant in that interview? is this your new perspective? whatever jack. we’re over.” hearing that makes it real to jack, “what? no, come on, let me fix this.” he says, standing up to face you again. and looking into his eyes you see pieces of the man you fell in love with, but no matter how much you want to cave you know you can’t. “you can’t fix it jack.” you admit, sighing softly, “i wish i could shut this all in the hall closet and drag you back down with me but i can’t. you will always be my first everything jack and i wouldn’t trade it for the world. i think this is gonna be good for both of us, and it’s not like you’ll never see me again. we’ll figure it out eventually, we’ll just be apart while we do it.”
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wearingaberetinparis · 3 months
Regency Style Jily Microfic
Prompt: Pity Word Count: 907 “Miss Evans,” he breathed, holding his hat in his hands, his chest heaving from exertion after braving the journey from Peverell Palace to Gryffindor House. His manner was uneasy, his eyes darting all over her face as if he were looking for signs of her own unrest. “I’ve just heard the news, I ��” he opened and closed his mouth, as if not knowing what to say. “You have?” she asked him. “And here I thought I might be able to surprise you for once, Mr Potter. Alas, again you are my superior in every way possible –” her cheeks glowed despite the gloomy April air that had caused goosebumps to rise on her arms a moment before he had arrived. She hoped one look in her direction did not rouse his suspicions. She had guarded her secret – the depth of her feelings for him – so carefully in the past months, she did not wish to fail in this final moment. He took her gloved hand in his then, holding it to his heart, startling her and causing her eyes to widen significantly. Her heart beat wildly inside her chest. “Miss Evans, I must say –” the expression on his face was pained, “– while I’m sure it will seem impossible now, time will heal all wounds and –” he swallowed, “– I hope that perhaps in time, your heart will learn to love once more, that it might carry the affection it has known again –” She frowned slightly, his words a riddle to her. “He truly is an abominable scoundrel, but – rest assured – he will soon be gone and –”
“Mr Potter,” she started, understanding dawning all of a sudden, “I’m not –” her heart fluttered at the warmth he showed her, at the regard he took to what he had assumed to be the truth of her innermost feelings, “ – you are very kind, but you are also mistaken, I have no regrets and wish the happy couple nothing but the very best –” He took a small step towards her, squeezed her hand that was so warmly placed in his own. “You are too good,” he almost whispered. “Miss Evans, he did not deserve you –” She was certain she blushed now. “I do not deserve your pity –” “Pity?” he sounded alarmed. “I have nothing but the deepest and warmest compassion for your situation for I am so well-acquainted myself with a love unrequited –” “Is it?” He stilled almost, wetted his lips with the tip of his tongue and this emboldened her. “Unrequited, I mean. How can you be sure that the lady you hold in such high esteem may not love you as you do her –” He dropped her hand, turned away slightly. “I have long lost all hope –” “Then I must pity you, Mr Potter –” He started to pace, hands curled around the brim of his hat. “I’m not here to talk about my own misfortune, I am here to tell you that Mr Diggory has been a most foul creature indeed, engaging your attentions so –” Her eyebrows rose, the question on her lips before she could stop to think about it. “Do you envy him?” “In every respect when it comes to you!” Time seemed to have stopped at his declaration and so had her heart. She watched him as he came to the realisation of what he had just revealed. He turned to her, spluttered out an apology, fully and completely horrified to note the impropriety of his conduct. “Miss Evans, I do so sincerely apologise, I had not meant to startle you so –” She was the one to move towards him this time, her fingers resting gently on his elbow as she said: “You did not, Mr Potter,” her voice was barely more than a whisper as he looked down on her, seemingly entranced by her very presence. “It appears that I am right to pity you for it seems that you have far too long been misguided –” “Do not remind me,” he spoke with anguish, “of the folly of my hoping you might ever return my feelings –” She stopped him by raising herself on her tiptoes and placing her lips – ever so softly, ever so hesitantly, ever so anxiously – against his, her heartbeat louder than it had ever been as it pounded through her veins. She let herself fall back, avoided his gaze for sheer nerves. “I have never loved Mr Diggory,” she confessed. “It’s you who has been on my mind for the longest of time, even if I didn’t know it at first or recognise its meaning for what it was –”   His hand now curled around her cheek and he brought her eyes up to his, noted the brilliance of the smile that played at his lips. “Could you be –?” he asked. “Are you certain –?” She very nearly scoffed, but didn’t want him to question the feelings that she harboured for him so dearly yet again. “Pity me, Mr Potter, for I am fully at your mercy.”
His kiss was all she had ever needed and more than she could have ever imagined herself wanting.
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youre-soo-dark-babe · 1 month
You & I - BRITs
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•Harry Styles x You
•Continuation of You & I. You and Harry meet up following your conversation after the Grammys.
•Cursing. I don’t own photos or gifs used
H: Morning!
Morning? Not even Good Morning, just morning. Alright.
H: I spoke with Lewis the other day.
And what did he say Harry?
H: He mentioned he ran into you.
That’s very good now you’ll have to send her a fourth message explaining why that matters.
H: Mentioned you were going to the BRITs.
For fucks sake mate.
H: You know I’ve 4 nominations?
Why would you say that you prat?
H: Did you have a date? Or were you planning on going alone?
Do not message her again.
H: We could just go together. If you’re going alone I mean.
Harry puts his phone on the coffee table and leans back on the couch dragging his hands down his face. Seven texts in the span of a minute. Doesn’t seem desperate at all.
Ten minutes later, he has his elbow on his knee with his face propped up in his hand while his opposite foot taps the floor relentlessly.
Another fifteen minutes pass and he’s pacing back and fourth averting the phones direction in hopes that if he doesn’t look, it might ding.
With an hour gone and no response, he’s decided you won’t be texting him back. It’s fine. The Grammy’s was just a kindness from your years of friendship. He was obviously mistaken thinking you were somehow extending an olive branch, that you were finally letting him know you were ready to try again. And he’s accepting it. He should’ve taken his apology text not sending as a sign.
Harry leaves the phone on the coffee table heading for the kitchen. But when he hears the text notification, he almost twists his knee running back to it.
Jeff: Did you ask her?
He disappointedly replies then tosses his phone on the couch. He doesn’t even pick it up when it dings again. He needs to leave, clear his head. Maybe a jog? Yea he’ll turn on Do not disturb and go for a jog. Harry heads to his room to change into the proper attire. When he returns down stairs he puts in his EarPods asking Siri to play his run playlist as he ties his shoes. Putting his phone in his pocket he opens the door and sets out for his run. It’s all going fine until one of your songs plays next and he’s struck by the memories of your past. It was so simple in the beginning. When you were young and friends above anything else. Before he let his ego get the better of him.
You’re so tired. Twenty two hours ago you were in Australia and now you’re in London. All you keep thinking is, why did I agree to this? There is no way you’re going to win International Song or International Artist so why? I mean I guess performing at the BRITs is pretty cool but still.
Your driver is already waiting when you get off the jet so that’s nice and at least you’ll be in your home not some hotel. Settling into the backseat of the SUV you almost forgot your phone is still off.
You’re surprised to see seven text messages from Harry. You hadn’t heard a thing from him since the Grammy’s and honestly that made you assume his invitation for dinner was meant platonically.
You laugh out loud reading his messages. For someone with such a smooth persona, he can be so lame.
Love: Sorry I’ve been on a plane
Love: 4 whole nominations?! Wow! 😂
Love: Jk I did know. Your album was great babe. Of course you’re getting recognition for it.
Love: I don’t have a date…Why don’t I stop by we can chat?
Instead of waiting for a response i just give my driver Harry’s address.
When Harry gets to his home he’s a bit unnerved to see a black SUV parked outside. He slowly walks up removing his EarPods. When the window rolls down.
“Oh my God! Harry Styles!” You shout a playful smile on your face. He doesn’t even notice you getting out of the car as he’s still processing your presence.
He shakes his head, “What are you doing here?”
“Such a warm welcome.” Your brows lift. Harry pulls you into him, your arms instantly move around his neck while his hold your body close. Your scent awakens so many memories of your time together as he breaths you in. How did he ever let you go? “I just got in from Australia, saw your texts and thought I’d just stop by.”
“Where you staying?”
“Oh right I bought a place here last year” He cocks his head “Told you I would eventually.”
“Yea. Should we?” He gestures to his house.
“Oh yea.” After you let your driver know he can go, you and Harry head into his home.
It’s been awhile since you’ve been here though it hasn’t changed much if at all.
At the same time you go to ask how he’s been he asks if you would like a drink. It’s awkward but it’s also a very sweet moment. The thing about you and Harry is it doesn’t matter the time that passes or the things that happen in that time, when you’re together it’s like you’ve never been apart.
“Water is fine.” He smiles nodding slightly before heading to the kitchen.
“I’ve been well by the way.”
“I’d think so Grammy award winner Harry Styles.” You smirk following him.
“It’s mad isn’t it?” Harry hands you a glass while you lean against the counter. Taking a small sip you put it down to reply.
“Not at all. I tell you every time I hear your music,” Your fingers push back his soft curls “you’re incredible babe.”
Harrys hands grab at the edge of the counter at either side of you, pinning you between his arms.
“I wouldn’t have them without you, you know.”
“Course you would. Just be some other girl you’d sing about loving, hurting, missing or wanting.”
Harry looks down a moment and you hope you didn’t offend him, “Remember that phrase we use to say?”
“We use to say many things to each other.” You cock a brow wearing a smirk till his face goes serious, “Tu es l'amour de ma vie.”
“You are the love of my life. Still are, always will be.”
“Third times the charm?” You ask making Harry smile. Your arms move around his neck his hold your waist as you lean into his lips.
“Will you be my date tonight?” He pecks you with a kiss.
“Mm I don’t know I have so many options.” You laugh when he lifts you up in his arms leading you to his bedroom.
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You and Harry aren’t able to be seated next to one another at the BRITs being last minute and all so you decide to match his outfits. The red carpet look was easy. You were already doing a simple black satin gown. Ironically your dress for inside mirrored the colour of his end of night suit. You originally only intended on two changes while Harry had four. It was a task but you ended up finding complimentary outfits for everyone of his.
The red carpet is simple as you arrived rather early. Harry keeps and arm around your waist. You can feel his smile on you while you pose. He grabs your hand kissing your knuckles before you separate to do interviews and solo photos. Of course you’re asked about each other but you play coy saying you’ve been friends for years.
Inside you find you are sat at the same table as Harry now and wonder who you have to thank for that. Harry’s sister who you have always gotten on with and is happily surprised to see you.
“It’s about time you two stopped being so daft.” She smiles hugging you before y’all take your seats.
“Lets have fun tonight yea.” Harry says mischief written all over his face “Win or lose we are celebrating.”
“What’s that?”
“Getting you back.” Your hands gently grab his face kissing him softly at first then enough to hear groans “Oh shut it! We’re in love.” Harry says making you laugh as he kisses you again.
When he Harry opens the show with As It Was you’re singing every word and dancing every second. You could watch him do this every night. Hell you have. That first tour seems so long ago now. Thinking of how far he’s come makes you a bit misty. When he gets back to you you cant help let him now just how proud you are of him.
Kid wins songwriter of the year which is incredible and gives the table another reason to do shots. When International Artist of the Year comes up you’re already feeling the tequila. “I love you.” Your forehead rests against Harry’s.
“I love you. Not letting you go this time.”
“I’m not leaving.” His lips are on yours for the briefest moment when the table erupts with cheers.
“You won!” Gemma grabs your arm getting your attention.
“What?” You look up at the stage and yea they’re waiting for you. You hug Harry quickly and make your way up.
“Wow…I’ve always really appreciated my fanbase here and I think y’all know why I have a very special place in my heart for this country. Hi.” You wave at Harry as the camera pans to him waving back then blowing you a kiss. “I love y’all. Thank you for all the years of support and thank you for this incredible honor.”
You’re backstage getting ready to perform when Harry wins his first award. The irony of the songs you and Harry perform tonight is not lost on you. Brutally is about accepting that you and Harry are over. You were never meant to last and you’re realizing the best thing to do is move on from that relationship. As It Was is similar in he’s looking back at a time in his life realizing the feelings of then can’t be replicated in to now. If you’re honest though, you think he’s right. You’ll never get that sweet love that hasn’t been tainted by lies and cheats. That hasn’t felt hurt or pain. But this love, what you have now, it has endured and you know there’s nothing left to overcome. A few minutes before you go on you decide to change your song. Your original performance was pretty bare so it’s just a matter of a guitar and red lights.
Harry is standing hand over his heart from start to finish. “That was beautiful love.” He looks at you teary eyed pulling you tightly to his chest.
There’s a lot of drinks had, kisses given and touches felt between the time after your performance and Harrys next win. He thanks his family and the boys of One Direction making you very weepy. You remember those day’s. Writing with them, touring with them. When y’all were just friends having the best times.
You’re in shock when you win your second category and a bit tipsy so Harry helps you to the stage.
“To the wonderful beautiful inspiration whom without I wouldn’t have these songs, thank you.”
Harry teases asking you who this inspiration is once you’re back in your seat. You reply with a kiss. By the time Harry is on stage for his last win you’re both feeling pretty good. Meaning you’re both very loving. You’re pretty sure he kissed Lewis while you were hugging on the beautiful Charlie XCX.
The last award is Album of the Year and Harry wins making it his fourth of the night. He’s so wonderfully energetic heading up to receive his award.
“There's literally no one I love more in the world than Stanley Tucci.” The camera is on me and my jokingly unamused face. “Except you love. But lets be honest.” He gestures to Stanley. You laugh nodding your head in agreement “Thank you so much, this night has been really, really special to me and I will never forget it for a couple reasons. Thank you for the welcome home, I will never forget it. I am so proud to be a British artist out in the world and here celebrating British artists."
Your hands hold Harrys face when he returns to the table “Look at you.” You say in awe of the man in front you.
“Couldn’t have done it without you love. It’s always been you and I, always will.”
“I think I can do always with you. Imagine if I’d gone with one of the others. Niall’s got new music coming doesn’t he?” You tease smirking till he kisses you then you just wrap your arms around the love of your life.
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hardly-an-escape · 1 month
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In the February Sun
Square: D2 - Mistaken for a Couple Rating: T Word Count: 2671 Ship(s): Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling Warnings: No archive warnings apply Additional Tags: Dreamling Bingo fill, Valentine’s Day, mistaken for a couple, Dream is soft and a little bit needy, Dream is allowed to be kind of obsessed with Hob as a treat, first kiss, getting together, tooth rotting fluff, this took forever partly because Dream’s POV is (unsurprisingly) ding dang hard to write, the feelings are requited they’re just idiots, they’re sort of starring in their own weird romance novel Summary: Dream visits the Waking World, not realizing that it's Valentine's Day. After multiple people assume he and Hob are a couple, an emotional reckoning is required. Read on AO3 | fill for @dreamlingbingo
Of late he finds his own gaze lingering on Hob’s shoulders. His hands. Dream’s thoughts have turned, in his few idle hours, to the timbre of Hob’s voice and the smile lines around his eyes. He has allowed himself. To imagine Hob’s fingers, interlaced with his own. How that smile might feel, were it to be employed against his skin. How Hob’s skin might feel. He should, perhaps, feel embarrassed by these flights of fancy. Instead he is only exhilarated.
Dream steps into the Waking World on what he thinks is a random sunny Tuesday and is immediately bumped into by a starry-eyed young man clutching an enormous bouquet of flowers.
“Oh gosh, sorry! I was so not looking where I was going,” he laughs. “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
Ah. Valentine’s Day. Dream looks around, notes the shiny hearts in the shop windows and the unusual number of roses and boxes of chocolate being carried around. He dips into the dreams of the people around him: candlelit dinners and first kisses. Well-worn lovers and the thrill of new romance. Sex and wine and sweetness and love.
The emotion is. Tantalizing. Heady. Almost overwhelming.
Dream walks slowly along the river toward the New Inn, savoring the sunshine and the wisps of romantic daydreams. He had intended to drop in on Hob this afternoon, as he does more frequently these days. Had intended to savor a few hours’ worth of his company and his warm, welcoming smile. But now he is unsure.
Hob feels… complicated. He’s known for some time that Hob finds him attractive. But of late he finds his own gaze lingering on Hob’s shoulders. His hands. Dream’s thoughts have turned, in his few idle hours, to the timbre of Hob’s voice and the smile lines around his eyes. He has allowed himself. To imagine Hob’s fingers, interlaced with his own. How that smile might feel, were it to be employed against his skin. How Hob’s skin might feel. He should, perhaps, feel embarrassed by these flights of fancy.
Instead he is only exhilarated.
Dream can recognize these symptoms in himself, and they worry and thrill him in equal measure. He has been able to hold himself in check, but in the Waking World, on this day of all days, the tendrils of desire and daydreams are winding around the walls of his willpower and bringing it down, brick by brick. His eyes catch on a couple kissing over a sidewalk café table and he feels something inside him catch as well.
Perhaps. It was a mistake to come here. On this day, of all days.
But too late. His steps have brought him to the courtyard of the New Inn. And there is Hob, emerging from the side door marked ‘private,’ which Dream knows from experience leads up to his cozy little flat. And Hob has seen him, is waving and smiling in a way that crinkles the lines around his eyes. Dream’s heart flips over in his chest.
Oh dear.
“Hello, my friend!” Hob is saying. “This is an unexpected surprise. I just finished up my morning classes. I was about to go get a bite to eat, if you want to come with me.”
“If you have no prior engagements,” says Dream.
“Not at all!”
They walk together in the February sun. They talk, of everything and of nothing. This, Dream has learned, is what friends do: they chat about books and television, share little stories from their days. Hob tells him about his students’ shenanigans during a particularly amusing lecture on the Black Death, and Dream tells him about some of Matthew’s recent misadventures.
“I would not have thought ravens could get drunk. That’s hysterical.”
Hob’s laughter is a balm, a ray of sunshine, a jolt of caffeine.
They are nearing the café Hob has been steering them toward when a young woman walking in the opposite direction greets him by name.
“Professor Gadling, hi!”
“Hello, Britt, how’s it going?”
“Oh! Well, I actually had a quick question about the homework – sorry, you’re probably on a date, I was going to send an email but would you mind…”
“Of course not, go ahead.”
Britt’s question about Margery Kempe is lost as Dream’s mind circles around that phrase like a cat stalking an unfortunate mouse. You’re probably on a date. Is that – could that be what people see? He and Hob, walking side by side. Talking and smiling. Not touching. But together.
Hob clarifies the reading for the next class and with a cheery “Happy Valentine’s Day, professor!” the girl continues on her way.
Dream and Hob walk for another minute before Dream finds the words to ask.
“You did not disabuse her of her notion?”
“Which notion?”
“That you and I are. On a date.”
“Oh, that,” Hob waves a dismissive hand. “Nah, there’s no point. The undergraduate rumor mill is unstoppable – better to just ignore it. If I’d denied it, it just would have convinced her that we were secretly married or something. Pack of libidinous hyenas, the lot of them.”
“I see.”
“Sorry, was that okay?” asks Hob, suddenly worried. “If it bothers you, that they might think that, I can set the record straight, or try to at least…”
“It matters not,” Dream says.
It matters a great deal, he wants to say. That people could believe it. It matters, that he wants it to be believable, wants it to be true. In a way he has not wanted for a long time.
[Read the rest on AO3...]
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green = complete, orange = WIP
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willsglock · 9 months
Here’s a handful of cautious optimism as a treat, my brothers in byler
I think there’s a huge misconception about the state of this ship atp. You guys do realize we’ve always been 10 steps ahead of the general audience, right? We knew Will was gay as early as in 2017, some were aware of this back when the first season released too. If I’m not mistaken, the idea that Will might be in love with Mike was around and going strong especially post-season 2, and especially after that one line in the script “Will isn’t looking at the cute girl, he’s looking at… Mike”
Most of us expected explicit byler in season 3, needless to say we were morbidly disappointed. What we did get, however, was yet another hint at Will being gay, and the number of articles with speculation about Will’s sexuality started increasing exponentially. Any way you break it down, we really only got evidence of Will being gay, and there was little indication of him having feelings for Mike.
Season 4 brought the plot line of Will being in love with Mike to the table in canon. We got to see how strong his feelings for Mike are, how they are absolutely eating him up and yet he’s still putting the happiness of his sister and the person he’s in love with above his own, even if that means he suffers. We saw both him being in love with Mike, being absolutely selfless about it AND beating the homewrecker allegations. Personally, I’d call this a W.
Now I understand why we had our expectations regarding byler so high up, Noah’s comments were only stirring the pot. I don’t know if he was truly trolling, and all this buildup amounts to nothing, but he did say “they can’t end it there”, and on some level, he’s aware of the outline for season 5.
If this is indeed gaybaiting, I by no means want to defend that but we have to acknowledge that his idea of “building up byler” pretty much matches that of the general audience’s. We’re only getting groundwork as of right now. As much as we like to joke about him having a secret account on here, a couple of years ago he was, on some level even hostile about the prospect of Mike and Will being gay.
The fallout of what vol.2 turned out to be hit hard, there’s no denying that. Most of us were shocked they actually ended up fueling midleven even more, despite the fact that we were so convinced that going that route would essentially be anticlimactic and bad writing. There was a lot of dissatisfaction with using Will’s feelings as a prop for the straight ship (understandably so.)
But the thing is, the general audience is now for the first time properly aware of the possibility of byler being canon, and a lot of people are picking up on just how bad the lead-up with the monologue was. A lot of people agree that midleven is getting repetitive, and that the monologue was mediocre at best. Is it really indicative of delusion to assume that this ship is being set up for doom? Meanwhile byler’s popularity is skyrocketing and the tag has gained yet another thousand followers after the release of Vol.2 alone.
We don’t know what’s going through the Duffers’ heads. Oh I wish we did. But we really don’t. We do know for a fact though that they don’t really rewatch their show (albeit I hope they’ve learned their lesson after this) which drastically diminishes their credibility as skilled writers. In terms of cinematography and soundtrack, Vol.2 was absolute peak, but the narrative, however, was a mess. They left a lot of loose ends untied, and they’re going to have a shit ton of exposition to do next season.
So either they’re really shit writers, or midleven was anticlimactic and mediocre on purpose.
Despite everything, there’s still the fact that one of those loose ends is Will’s lying about El commissioning the painting. It’s evident in the letter in episode 1 and as far as we know, she’s never really played D&D. If they’re really as good at constructing stories as they’re hailed, we should expect this to go somewhere. Because the Steve and Nancy stuff was left unresolved as well. Same with Max’s letters. If they really decide to leave all of that unaddressed, it simply won’t be a look good for the show.
Bottom line is, they did say they wanted to write an authentic story, and I really hope they realize that having the main guy and main girl end up together is the most overused trope ever. We should all sit on the fact that we did get a fairly good amount of content to advance byler, and that they could’ve just left this storyline about Will’s feelings for Mike out altogether. They made a conscious choice not to. Now I don’t think that half of the shit presented in the byler slides was intentional, but I do think that there still is a chance that they’re heading towards a midleven breakup and byler endgame. I could be wrong, but this is just how I see it now that I’ve let it simmer for a while. We’re still in for an entire season, jopper’s development spanned over 4 seasons and jancy got together in the span of one, so realistically, anything is possible.
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wepsi · 6 months
I've been wanting to tie you up for a while now ~ Lucifer(nsfw)
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Female reader, established relationship
Cw: Shibari
Scenario: After seeing you strung up from the ceiling instead of Mammon, Lucifer seemed extremely flustered.
"Yo can you help me get down from here?"
"And why would I do that? You probably deserved it."
"Pleaaaaaaseee, I can't miss another shift again!"
"Even if I were to agree I can't help you."
"Listen, I learned a new spell from Solomon that will let us swap places, please! Remember you owe me a favor!"
"Ughhhhhh fine mammon, let's get it over with."
Mammon casts the spell, swapping your places. Your perspective went from seeing him bound up, to seeing him free. Mammon looking at the time rushes away, mouthing "I'll save you later". The ropes felt snug but not uncomfortable, wow this must have been painful for poor Mammon then.
You suddenly hear footsteps that only could belong to Lucifer, heart sinking to your... stomach? not sure you're upside down right now. Lucifer walks in, with his hand on his forehead and eyes closed, the stance for a lecture. When he opens his eyes, all he saw was your face stupidly giving him a grin.
Lucifer looked taken aback, what were you doing here tied up?You expected a lecture, but he just looked flustered, struggling to form words. Pulling at one specific rope you tumble down freely, Lucifer turned around to walk away, but you caught his face blushing for a second.
Later that night you were in Asmo's room getting your nails repainted. Remembering the event from earlier that day, you confide in Asmo telling what happened and Lucifer's weird response. Asmo looked up at you, a evil smile on his face,
"Fufufufu so Lucifer's into that~ I guess can't say I'm surprised."
You look at him confused, Asmo didn't seem phased and calmly finished your nails. After thoroughly admiring his work, Asmo pulled out his phone and went through his pictures. Showing you this album of photos, you gasped at the lewd pictures. There was what assumed to be his past lovers in all different positions, tied up in elaborate ropes and knots of all shapes and sizes.
It looked beautiful in a way, the rope indenting and making their soft flesh burst out. It highlighted all their parts, and tied in a way their movements were limited. Asmo seemed happy at your curiosity, his mind scheming up a plan for you. Just for this, tonight he will forgo his beauty sleep and teach you the ropes (get it? XD)
After dinner, you scurry to your room to prepare for your surprise for Lucifer, leaving all the brothers confused. Lucifer walks up to check on you, hoping he didn't make you upset when he walked away from you the other day. He did not expect what he stumbled upon when he entered the room.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh surprise?"
(See header picture for how this scene looked)
You weren't quite done, but have a bad habit of not locking your door. Lucifer came and was thoroughly taken aback, you were bound up foot to neck with the ropes exposing your breasts and your lips. two pieces of rope still in each of your hands unfinished.
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Well honey I figured you might be into this from how you reacted before, so I wanted to give you a surprise. Guess it's ruined now though."
You pouted, loosening the ropes in your hand. Lucifer walked to you, helping you untie yourself. You curse yourself in your head, thinking you mistaken the situation. Lucifer's ruby eyes looked into yours, sending a shiver down your spine,
"I appreciate your gesture my dear, but you're doing it all wrong. Accompany me to my room I'll show you how it's done."
Face as red as a tomato, you rid yourself the rest of the ropes, and followed Lucifer to his room. It's not like you guys haven't had sex before, but this was new and exciting, plus you always liked when Lucifer enticed you like that(not that he had to). You hear Lucifer lock the door behind you with a click, your heart picking up pace. He opens a drawer, and pulls out red rope.
"Shall we begin dear~"
You striped down to nothing as he directed. The rope felt a lot nicer on your skin compared to the one you bought on akuzone. He was looping and knotting around your skin expertly, tight enough for you to feel but not too tight to be uncomfortable. You felt your appendages slowly getting bound to itself. The lack of freedom and control made you nervous and excited.
That's how you spend the next who knows how long, silence besides your heavy breathing and the rope sliding against your skin. When you are almost done Lucifer pulls down a secret latch in the ceiling, exposing multiple hooks (has that always been there?) Having your consent from earlier, Lucifer hooks the ropes and starts suspending you. You felt a little scared but you trusted him.
Finishing the final pieces of his art, Lucifer looks at you satisfied. Bringing over a large mirror so you could see yourself.
here is the inspo pose (nsfw)click at your own discretion!
Looking in the mirror you thought you would feel shy, but you felt like a piece of art. The bright red rope highlighting your skin, you could see Lucifer went with a simpler design seeing as it is your first time. You weren't left completely immobile like some of the demons on Asmo's photo album.
Having your legs wide open but not being able to cover it with your hands, or close your legs left you feeling shameful, but your dripping heat would disagree. Looking over, Lucifer was practically drooling over you, face a mix between wanting to admire you and devouring you.
"I've been wanting to tie you up for a while now, you look beautiful dear"
"I'm not sure how I can not destroy you tonight."
There will be a part 2! eventually
Check out my master list for more content!
Check out my kinktober content!
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winchester-girl67 · 7 months
Don’t Say A Word (Part 2)
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Summary: Dean tries to make amends the best way he knows how, with food. But things wind up pretty much how they started out when he's not the only one to mistake her for Auburn.
Pairing: Bodyguard!Dean x reader
Word Count: 1,335
Warnings: language, angst, mistaken identity, kidnapping again, arguing, drugged!reader (chloroform), Dean being a bit of a jerk, creepy ending, scary situation, slow burn, fluff if you squint
A/N: For Dean food fixes everything, until it doesn't.
“Are you hungry?” Dean asked, ignoring you and glancing at the diner.
“I’m naked.” You frowned dryly, pronouncing every syllable in the word to make your point.
“I brought you some clothes. I’m not that terrible at my job, despite what you might think.” He said, reaching into the backseat and pulling over a small duffle bag with what you assumed were Auburn’s clothes.
“Despite what I might know.” You corrected, your stomach growling in betrayal and you figured he owed you dinner at the very least. “...Fine.”
“Get dressed and meet me inside, yeah?”
“Yeah.” You said, unbuckling yourself from the seat.
Dean climbed out of the car, heading inside the diner without another glance back, taking the keys with him in case you decided to take off without him. Which, it was a good thing he did because you totally would have. You opened the duffle bag and pulled out what were indeed Auburn's clothes. Everything was a size too small for her to begin with and you cursed the green eyed man again as you dug around for the stretchiest things you could find; a pair of leggings and an adjustable sports bra.
You bumped the dashboard a couple of times trying to squeeze into the leggings and awkwardly pulled on the bra whilst trying to keep covered with the towel. Fortunately, it was nightfall already and the darkness worked to your advantage when the towel slipped.
You chose a basic maroon tee that somehow turned into a crop top when you pulled it on and you had to keep tugging it down to cover your midriff as you walked towards the diner. You were thankful that you had found a pair of grey converse that Dean had taken from your apartment, luckily they were yours since Auburn always travelled with her many pairs of more unpractical footwear.
"You actually came," Dean smirked as you weaved your way over to his booth in the corner and sat down opposite him.
"You didn't give me much of a choice. You took the keys and I'm not exactly sure where we are." You said, glancing back at the counter as if there'd be a clue as to where you were.
"We're about a half hour from city limits," he explained, or thought he did.
You didn't get out of the city often and were terrible with directions to begin with. Not to mention, you hadn't been paying attention on the drive up. Having been throwing your efforts into convincing Dean of your story instead.
"Yeah, that doesn't narrow it down. Are we north, south..."
"Are you gonna be this grumpy all through dinner?" He questioned, furrowing his brow with a prominent frown you swore was permanently etched into his face.
"Uh-huh, probably. But, seems how you kidnapped me, you're not allowed to complain about it." You stared, crossing your arms over your chest.
"It was mistaken identity, a simple misunderstanding. Enough now." Dean hissed at you as the waitress made her way over and he put on this truly awful fake smile.
"What can I get you two?" The older woman asked, flipping open a notepad and plucking a pen from behind her ear.
"Cheeseburger and fries."
"Real healthy-" you mumbled.
"Don't start." Dean snipped in front of the waitress.
She seemed to be used to that type of drama though and ignored it altogether; knowing exactly where not to stick her nose. There was probably a story behind that, in a place like this. She probably served loads of unsavoury characters.
"And for you, hun?" She looked at you as you skimmed the short menu quickly with your finger.
"Turkey club, please."
She nodded and you handed her the menu, waiting for her to disappear into the kitchen before shooting Dean a hateful glare. One he returned when he met your eyes.
The two of you didn't say anything more until the food came out. Your sandwich was decent but the fries were lukewarm at best, though you didn't bother to send them back. You couldn't expect much better in a place like this; you counted yourself lucky the food was edible at all.
"You gonna stay mad at me forever?" Dean asked, taking another bite of his cheeseburger and looking at you for a response.
Did he think he could just sweep this under the rug with one mediocre dinner?
"Okay, well how about a little light conversation? That never hurt anyone." He raised his brows and you huffed, setting the rest of your sandwich back down onto the plate.
"Alright, why'd you pick out such crappy clothes? Couldn’t find anything more uncomfortable for me to wear?" You quipped, tugging on the collar of your shirt that, because it was two sizes too small, rode up your breasts and pressed into the base of your neck lightly, just enough to be annoying without actually choking you.
"There wasn't much choice, it was that or sparkly evening gowns. And I didn't think to check your room, just the master bedroom, obviously." He explained simply, offering no remorse which pissed you off to no end.
You had a brief thought of swapping shirts with Dean, forcing him to wear the tight uncomfortable crew neck crop top while you got his black tee. Which, although it wasn't baggy on him, it would be on you and that was your prime comfort zone, oversized anything. The image in your mind brought you some levity and you held back a chuckle, hiding your grin behind another bite of your sandwich.
"Right, because-"
"-I got the ‘wrong girl’. I'm aware now." He sighed, cutting you off. "For the record, I think you look nice.”
“I don’t care what you think.”
"Next time, I’ll leave you in the towel dress then.” He scowled, shoving a handful of fries into his mouth.
“Fine by me.” You grinned dryly, shaking your head at him. Dean opened his mouth to show you his half chewed food, “Ew, could you be any more gross.”
“Yes,” he nodded and swallowed, smirking and taking another bite of his burger.
“I’m going to the washroom,” you stated, setting your food down and sliding out of the booth.
“I don’t need the play-by-play, princess.”
“Jerk,” you bit.
You stepped into the washroom feeling infuriated and hung your head over the sink as you braced yourself on your arms. You took a couple of breaths to calm yourself and settle the blood boiling in your veins. Then, you glanced up, the mirror image reflecting exactly how you felt at the moment, exhausted and ready for bed. You sighed and straightened up, combing through your hair with your fingers and feeling how the strands had dampened the shoulders of your shirt.
You were still cold, not surprising in what you were wearing and punched the button on the hand dryer, angling it up towards your face. You fluffed your hair a bit, hitting the button a few more times until it was dry enough and then did the same with your shirt, tugging it away from your skin so it would dry quickly.
You didn't know how long you spent in front of that dryer, figuring Dean could wait if he finished eating before you returned. But it was a minute too long, if not a second more.
The droning sound of the hand dryer muffled that of your screams and the struggle that ensued when a very tall man in a ski mask grabbed you from behind. You only knew about the mask because you happened to glimpse his reflection before he grabbed you.
And once again in the same night, you found yourself being dragged through a parking lot. Although, this time you didn't fight back. The man had forced a rag over your mouth that smelled sickeningly sweet and all you felt now was tired and weak. You could barely move when he tossed you into the trunk of an SUV and sped off.
A/N: Read part 3 here
 Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278​ @laycblack​ @thoughts-and-funnies​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @crustycheeks​
Don't Say A Word: @lacilou​ @mlovesstories​ @spn730015​ @hunni-bunny​ @ria132love​ @fmstafford @spideysimpossiblegirl​ @houseforwhores​ @siospins2​ @globetrotter28​ @nt-multi-fandom​ 
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pinkthick · 3 months
Can you please write First Christmas as a couple prompt - 20. trying to buy the moon for their S/O because everything else wouldn't be enough, for 616 Stephen Strange? 🥺
Hope you like it💓🫶🏻
Would you even like it?
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Pairing: Doctor Strange x Fem!Reader
Doctor Strange & Wong & Fem!Reader & America chavez
Summary: Coming up on Christmas, Stephen has practically no idea what to get you. Unexpectedly, Wong gives him a crazy idea.
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“You need to calm down, Stephen.” Wong's cool voice did not calm the sorcerer at all.
“What if she doesn’t like it, though?” Stephen’s voice full of fustration made Wong look at him with concern.
“I’m sure she’ll like it.” The sorcerer supreme assumed that it wouldn't be too difficult to go shopping with Stephen, but he was so terribly mistaken.
The ex-doctor never really enjoyed shopping, to be honest. Stephen didn't like shopping for clothes or jewelry or spending hours looking around for something he might like. Although it was difficult to find something beautiful or worthy of you, you did deserve something from the sorcerer. All he accomplished was to aggravate his headache, but hey, it's Christmas.
The fact that it was in two weeks wasn't important; it wasn't the point.
So that's why they were out in Paris looking for presents at 10 in the morning, which was way too early for them both. They might not have been so exhausted if it weren't for the fact that night had fallen in America, but let's ignore that.
Why was it so much simpler to buy anything for America or Wong? It was so unfair.
“Look, Stephen. We have been already going throughout this city for at least two hours. I’m sure that she’ll like the necklace.” Wong added, just wishing that Stephen would actually want to go back to the Sanctum. He was exhausted and he really did need to sleep at least 6 hours.
“I don’t know—it’s kind of a cliche.” Stephen started to pace around “Don’t you think that it’s like—very basic?” Without even glancing at Wong, he ran a palm over his face.
Wong eventually stopped even listening to the neurosurgeon when he began to ramble on senselessly. That was absurd. Given that Stephen will give it to you, it stands to reason that you would enjoy it. Sometimes, the two of you were too madly in love to even acknowledge the outside world.
“Are you even paying attention?” Stephen interrupted Wong's train of thought by yelling at him.
"Honestly, no" Can anyone really blame him, though? “Stephen, if you are really going to stress over this, you might as well buy the moon for her.”
Wong didn't believe he would regret saying anything, but when he saw Stephen's expression significantly alter, he did. Oh boy, he recognized that expression on his face.
“You're the best, Wong.” the sorcerer spoke before creating a portal and disappearing through it
He really wasn't going to try to take the moon, was he?
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He couldn't pretend that he wasn't initially scared. Even though what he did was rather insane, it eventually turned out okay.
Not only that, but a star is literally a huge, slowly revolving cloud made entirely of hydrogen and helium. Of course, casting a spell to make it little could have caused a lot of issues to occur.
But he made sure it was secure since he wouldn't want you to get injured because of him. Of course, as the star itself gets hotter and denser, a protostar in the shape of a ball results. However, he was able to place it in a transparent comparison.
Stephen checks the necklace while feeling somewhat proud of himself. He didn't truly believe he crossed a line with this. Even if he did missed two nights of sleep, it was still definitely worth it.
Additionally, the spell he created didn't completely obliterate the yard from Kamar-taj, so that’s a bonus.
Uh—In a sense, Maxim Primer's book really did save his life.
He could not deny that the genuine star he placed in the necklace was anything less than fucking spectacular as he grasped it in his hands. Since he has run out of ideas, he is genuinely hoping that you would like the necklace as a gift.
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He was back at the Sanctum and as soon as he had finished wrapping your gift, you walked into the bedroom.
“Hey, what’s that?”Even though you were aware that it was one of the Christmas gifts, you still asked.
The small item vanished into thin air with the snap of his fingers as he turned around and grabbed your hand, pulling you ever so slightly closer to him.
“That was your gift.” A smile growed on his face as you pressed a kiss onto his lips, sweet and tender and a bit slow. Once the two of you parted, a shy smile appeared ok your face as you asked “And you’re not going to tell me what’s inside?”
“You're going to have wait till Christmas like everyone else is” he said as he clasped your hands in his and gazed into your mesmerizing eyes.
"What a pity" you uttered in a pretended sorrowful tone.
Even though the second kiss from him was equally brief as the first, it satiated both of your wants.
You let out a small laugh and Stephen thought that he was going to melt right away over how sweet you sounded.
“You’re going to need to stop because you’re going to make me spill the surprise I have for you” Stephen gave you such a loving gaze that it made your heart race.
“Would it really be that bad?” You said as you began to lightly run your finger over his chest.
“Yes, it would.” His head was now leaning over your shoulder and as he leaned closer he released your hand. A smile returned to your face as soon as Stephen's hand touched your own back. Like only a lover could, you were so close to him. You were nearby mentally as much as physically.
You knew Stephen well, he trusted you with his secrets, and you did the same. This clossness was something else, it was intimate, even though the two of you weren’t pressed to each other, bare skin on skin, you two became one. This feeling was so much more.
“So you really won’t tell me?” You asked as he hugged you tighter.
“Not even a chance darling.”
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Thanks to America yelling, both of you are awake. At 8:00, you and Stephen both needed to get out of bed. The girl was so excited to be finally celebrating Christmas again after so long. Since she hasn't received gifts for six years, you, Wong, and Stephen made sure that she will be given everything she has ever wanted this year.
But of course she wanted to open the presents right away, she didn’t even want to have breakfast.
Reluctantly, you tore the warm covers off of you and got out of the cozy bed. As you two moved down the corridor, Stephen, who had already gotten out of bed, brought you a cup of coffee. You walked into the living room as you started to hold hands with him and sat down on the couch, seeing America already ripping the paper from each of her presents pretty fiercely.
While America was still concentrating on her gifts, Stephen seized the chance to snap his fingers, causing a small box covered in gold paper to materialize in his hands.
He handed you the box and said, "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."
You carefully removed the golden wrapping paper and exposed a little black box. You lifted the lid to show a stunning gold necklace that had something sparkling so brightly, but you weren't sure what it was.
You were perplexed as you watched Stephen scratch the back of his neck, perhaps out of embarrassment, though there was really nothing he had to be embarrassed about.
“It’s um— a star.” He stated as he looked straight into your eyes.
“Like a real star? From our galaxy?” you looked at him as you quite didn’t believe his words.
“Yep.” Stephen said, popping the ‘p’ which gave away how nervous he actually wad.
“You’re insane.” You smiled brightly at him, not really believing what he has done as you kissed him on the cheek. “But I love it.” He then ran his hand down the lenght of your face and kissed you tenderly on your lips.
Both of you heard the sound of a camera and stopped suddenly looking at America as she grinned looking at her phone. “I hope you both know that album I was making last month, is still in need of a lot of photos.”
“How many exactly?” Stephen asked as he looked at a girl with a soft smile.
“Well the page of Christmas 2024 is literally blank right now so I can take as many as I want.” America said as she got on the floor next to where you two were standing and took a quick selfie of the three of you.
Gosh, you loved your little family, even if it was a little strange.
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Tag list: @strangesgirl @paola-carter @hamandchickensandwhich @captainannamerica @ivyheliotrope @lilithskywalker @yumeillu @winter-cant-decide @andlizeth @withalittlehoney @mintssanctuary @strangesslut @rotindselain @rookiemarton @herseraphwings @robinschaoticlittle @kujosux @alahmorah @drstrangefangirl8900 @sa-filonzana @kety25jhosson @alchemxx @silver-shadow @wolfstarhufflepuff @lucimorningst4r @dragonqueen89 @rinacreateart @clockblobber @quillweavianstuff @k1mikoz @indoraptorgirlwind @mynamehasbeentakenbysomeperson @crazyhearttragedy @bobateadaydreams @darlingx @crushingonfreddie @cloudedfairydust @robertdowneyhiddlesbatch @cemak @d0ct0rstrangewife @annabelloki @grumpytribble @allie131313 @paola-carter @annemarielovesbeenjuice @hamandchickensandwhich @rachelessfreedom-world
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thepenultimateword · 8 months
A response to @some-messed-up-writing-for-you's prompt #921.
CW: Mention of gore and killing
"I think there's a glitch in my system." The robot explained, looking at the human sitting across from them.
"Why is that?" The other questioned, not lifting their eyes from the small gadget they were fiddling with.
Robot propped their elbows on the table, resting their head in their hands. "Because I want to kiss you, and you're the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
The human--their human they supposed, now that their certificate for ownership had been in the tinkerer's possession for nearly a year--stared at them, first with surprise then with quickly-morphed suspicion. They placed their screwdriver down on the table and steepled their fingers together.
Through the gaps in the robot's fingers, the human looked half-made up--half a face, one shoulder (on the left), and only one arm (on the right). A discomforting reminiscence of times long past.
Memories didn't come easily, not since their human had wiped their original programming, but when they tried, the robot could still picture bloody pavement and dismembered corpses, globs of flesh caught in the seams of bladed fingers. They dropped their hands, turning their human whole once again.
The human fixed them with a dry stare. "Seeing how you're old programming compelled you to see humans as a contagion, I need to address any comments that hint at leftover bugs."
"Fine," the robot said bitterly. In their experience, it was best to be completely explicit with humans. Though they habitually concealed feelings or said the opposite of what they meant, they did not others being secretive in return. "I don't have the urge to kill humans. I don't think them inferior, nor that their existence is problematic. But I still find them disgusting. You're soft, you leak, and your insides are wet. Name something more disgusting than organs; they're basically meat piled inside meat."
"As opposed to the neatly clipped wires and orderly rows of circuit boards inside of you," the human said.
Another human might have stated it as a fact, taking pleasure in their position of control to fill their bot's mouths with their own thoughts and opinions. However, their human's cadence was half a statement, half a question. A hypothesis they called it. It basically meant that their human concocted their own theory but then spoke with the robot to confirm it.
They liked that their human never assumed things. It made them feel almost... alive. Like they had the right to feel in the first place. Admittedly, their programming was one of the most advanced in the world, but they knew it wasn't special treatment. Even the kitchen bots who constantly hovered over the stove or whipped sugar into perfect pastry puffs were treated with "thank yous" and "this is deliciouses."
"Yes," the robot said. "I am beautiful."
They ran their fingers over the smooth, perfectly symmetrical contours of their face. In addition to granting them sensory abilities, the synthetic skin made them look almost human. In dim lighting or in a highly intoxicated state, they might even be mistaken for one. However, the textile of the skin was rigid, an almost flesh that pulled tight and perfect over their frame. When one pressed it, they didn't feel the soft give of flesh; they felt metal cured of its cold bite. Running their fingers over their face a second time, they took pleasure in that solidness.
"If something inside me breaks, one only needs to slide open a compartment. If my outer shell is damaged, it can be replaced. I can't imagine leaving my body to do its own halfway job."
They motioned disgustedly to the gnarled scar on the human's cheek, pale white and raised a couple centimeters too far off their face.
The human nodded thoughtfully. "I think I understand. Though, I wasn't aware you were capable of romantic feelings. Have you felt similar inclinations towards other bots?"
The robot suddenly felt a strange crawling sensation in their innards that could only be labeled as discomfort. This wasn't something the human would ask another human. Or at least, it wouldn't be socially acceptable for them to do so. A bite of defiance sparked within them.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Love is a chemical reaction. Dopamine, norepinephrine, etc. None of which I have provided you with."
"I feel other things you humans need chemicals for."
The human nodded consideringly. "Right, I installed you with a basic set of emotions. Perhaps love was caught up in the mix."
"Or maybe I figured it out on my own," the robot snapped. This wasn't how this was supposed to go. Books and movies showed that feelings should be expressed, so they'd expressed themself. Their human liked honesty, so they'd been honest. But the human was supposed to accept their feelings or reassure them they could be fixed. They weren't supposed to turn this into an analysis of their programming.
The human rose from their seat, abandoning their project completely, and moved around the table to sit in the chair directly beside the robot. The chair legs screeched as they scooted in closer, their knees barely touching. After a couple moments of silence, they nodded at the robot expectantly.
"Go on then."
The robot stared at them, the slight luminescence coming off their mechanical eyes glinting off their corneas. "What?"
"The kiss. It actually benefits both of us. You get to kiss me, thus requiring a better understanding of your 'glitch', and I get to test the bounds of your programming. It could be a good experience for you in regards to your self-evolution.”
The robot thought they'd rather slap them. Their brittle bones shattering beneath the force of their fist would be satisfying recompense for-- No. Dangerous thought. They didn't actually want their human seriously harmed. Just chastened.
The human rested their palms on the robot's legs and leaned in close enough that the sensory nodes on the underside of their skin picked up the warmth of their breath. That was one of the few things the robot didn't find disgusting about human life. Especially the soft, even way that their human did it.
The robot closed the space abruptly, letting their bitter feelings fuel the strength of their kiss. They knew humans were fragile enough to be hurt by accident, but this time they pressed hard on purpose, not enough to break the human's jaw, but with the hope that thy might bruise their lips.
Apparently, they succeeded because the human winced back sharply. The back of their chair creaked as they fell against it, and they rubbed their thumb gingerly over their lips, first the bottom then the top.
"Maybe try that again a little softer," they mumbled. "You'll find that kissing is nicer when both parties can enjoy it."
Hypocrite! They hadn't given them the chance to enjoy this either! This was just another test drive to them!
"You're not taking me seriously!" the robot exploded.
The human fixed them with a serious stare. "I am. I'm listening, I'm complying with what you want, I'm--"
"I'm telling you that despite you're disgusting soft flesh, wet insides, and ugly unsymmetrical face I love you! And you don't even care!"
Human froze with their mouth hanging open. The robot thought 'I want to kiss you' and a chat about romantic feelings had been plain enough to clue their human in, but their face had almost the same expression as when they'd electrocuted themself on one of the gardening bots' split wires.
"You...love me?"
"Yes!" Once again they were grateful for their leakproof body because if they were human they'd have been in tears. "Or at least I think I do! How am I supposed to know for sure? All I know is that I think about you all the time. I miss you when you leave, I’m excited when you’re back, I wonder if you’re well when you stay up too late, I feel proud of you when you’re on tv, I admire the way you are with bots, and even more the way you don’t give humans a pass just for being human. You’re fair, you’re smart, you treat me like I matter, and I’ve been thinking about kissing you for over a month!
“Even though it was scary to talk about, and even though I know I’m just your perfect pet project, I thought it might mean something to you.”
The human seized them by the shoulders, weak hands pressing as hard as they could into steel. “It does!”
“Only because it’s interesting,” the robot said, shrugging them off.
“You don’t want to miss out on this amazing new phenomenon. Tell the world how smart and accomplished you are for giving a bot romantic feelings.”
“I bet you can even reproduce it. Sell it. People won’t even have to date anymore they can just program someone to like them and everyone’s happy. Except the bots, but they’re just bots, right?”
The human burst out of their seat, fists clenched. “I would never do that!” they cried. “Why are you saying that?”
“Because I’m being irrational.” The robot slumped forward in their seat, already wishing they could take back that last part. “I’m ridiculously angry and I don’t know why.”
The human crouched down in front of them, raising their chin toward them. “Because I hurt you.”
The robot didn’t know how to respond to that because, yep, that sounded about right. But knowing it didn’t fix anything. They still hurt, the only type of hurt they could feel without any nerves.
“I’m not the best with cues…” their human luckily continued. “It’s why I do better sticking with bots than with people. I’ve always believed that the two are basically the same, but sometimes I get so caught up in the programming and the science that I overlook…” They sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly, as if to clear away all the words they’d left trailing in the air. “I care about you…more than anything or anyone else in the whole world. What you call a pet project, I call a passion.”
Their fingers caressed warm across the robots smooth cheeks. Temperature never made much a difference to them before, but now they understood why people associated it with good feelings.
“Basically,” their human said, “no matter what direction we go…you’re it for me.”
The robot felt the processors in their head whir. Even though they were programmed for faster than human thought this moment felt like it moved in slow motion. They wished it would go even slower.
“Can I kiss you again?” they said quietly. “I promise I won’t try to hurt you this time.”
Their human raised their brows. “So that was on purpose.”
Half a statement, half a question. They loved it.
“Yes. But it was practically your fault.”
“I’ll grant you that,” the human said. “Alright, one more extremely gentle kiss it is.”
“Just one?”
The human mulled it over a moment. “Fine, you can have two.”
They got three.
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