#I think I've phrased this differently every single time I've written in out

[unsat-and-strange]

lyfrassir edda tried to cut their hair after the bifrost incident. hair and the meaning it holds had been a common thread in the multitude of cultures that comes with 9 inhabited worlds in one star system, and one thing that had been a given in nearly every single one was you don't wear braids when you're grieving. you don't wear rings or ribbons or gems, you don't wear any ornamentation. for a long time it was taboo to even pull it back in a ponytail except for the most strenuous of tasks. and you don't cut it unless you've lost it all. which, of course, they have. so they take a pair of scissors they found in a toolbox and cut the whole tangled mess of it off their head over the sink. it's ragged and uneven and they feel exposed without it, but if this is the only way left to honor their vanished world then so be it. or that's what they thought. that night as they wake from yet another nightmare that leaves them gasping at the brink of tears they feel that familiar weight spilling down their shoulders and back. they don't try again. they do try to forget about it, push it from their mind through sheer force of will but they can't explain it away. and they can't ignore the fact that the gray streaks in their still-long hair grow thicker by the day. and it looks less and less like true gray than a multitude of colors and shades dulled to a neutral tone by sheer numbers. they are changing and it won't let them cut their hair.

[letteredlettered]

I wanted to make a separate post about this, partly because I'm feeling a lot of emotions I feel like I've never experienced, or at least don't know how to identify.

There's a lot that goes into writing a fic. You have to consider every word, weighing it against every other word. You read and you reread and you edit and you reread; you sit back and say, "How do I make sure the reader reads this as it is meant to be read; how do I make them feel the weight of the words in the right place; how do I engineer the timing such that this joke lands, this repetition lands, this echo or this feeling or this meaning lands; how do I write this dialogue in a way that allows the reader to understand the tone in which it is being said, the mood with which it is spoken, the feeling the dialogue provokes in the other character listening; how do I make phrase A resonate with phrase B so that the reader can connect the dots between the phrases in a way that produces C?"

Writing is wrangling words so that they behave in an exact way to produce an exact result. The "exact result" is for the writer, not the reader--different readers are going to interpret the meaning and characters differently. But the writer is arranging words in a precise formation to express exactly what they mean, so that the mood is produced exactly as they intend, so that the joke lands at the precise time to land the joke accurately. The reader might not get the joke; they might get the joke but not laugh at it; they might laugh but not like it. Same with tone, mood, meaning, etc. The reader cannot and will not interpret it the same way. But the writer wants to produce the exact equation that will work for them, and then they want to show it to you and hear what you think, even if you work through the equation and get a different result.

This is why writers like comments. They want to hear whether you worked through the equation and got the same result; they're interested in your different results. Like a teacher, they want you to show you're work--how and why did the different parts of the equation lead you to your result? They want this because they poured so much time, energy, thought and feeling into every single portion of that equation. They put so much of themselves into every single word that they want to know how every single word landed.

I'm writing this post because @raitala has started posting their podfic of my fic, Time Signature. And this podfic delivers every single word of this story exactly how I imagined it. Exactly how I meant it. The timing of everything is exactly how I wanted it to be read. The tone of every line of dialogue is exactly what I heard in the character's voices while writing it. Listening to it felt like writing, a feeling so extraordinary that I don't know actually how to describe the things I felt listening.

If you like my writing and have ever wondered what writing feels like for me, how I hear it in my brain, how I mean for it to be read--this is it. And if you don't like my writing, I think that you will still like this podfic, because this podfic is its own entity. I would be recommending the fuck out of it regardless of whether it was my fic, because listening to it is absolutely gripping.

Look. I'm proud of my writing. I think I'm good at it. I think I'm good at things like pacing within a scene and capturing voices in dialogue. But listening to this made me love my writing in a way I never experienced before.

This fic isn't a comedy, but the beginning is meant to be amusing. But listening to this podfic, I was fucking dying of laughter--at lines I could already recite! Because I had written them! I had written them with the intention of being a little witty, a little wry. But hearing them spoken with timing so precise, so exact, I couldn't help but feel that this is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard.

This fic is mostly porn. It's extremely filthy porn. Porn as often awkward read aloud; there are the actual mechanics of bodies moving, then all the feelings, then the moaning and if you're me, lots and lots of dirty talk. And sex scenes in audio books usually bring me a certain measure of embarrassment--this reader is trying too hard to pant and sound needy; that reader is being to clinical and removed; this reader is making it sound like a porno; that reader is failing to sound sexy. But this podfic is read so perfectly that listening to these sex scenes sounded like the experience of reading them--or at least, how I want them to be read. When you read a good sex scene, the words should fall away, and the scene itself should play out in your head, whether visually (for some) or just through cognition (for me). You should feel the emotions of it without feeling distracted by things like sentence structure. And this is how @raitala reads. Yep, it's someone saying the words "cock" and "pussy" a whole bunch, and yep, it's super hot and very explicit. But the timing and the tone are so perfect that the awkwardness of a live person reading these things falls away, and you feel like you're watching a movie.

But this fic is one other thing. It's a fic about two musicians who make music, and while not a whole lot of time is spent talking about music, that's mostly what's happening when there's not porn (and sometimes what is happening when there is porn). I'm not a musician; nor do I particularly invest time and interest in music like most people seem to. But I did a lot of research for the music in the fic, and the reason for that and the research that I did are both described in the post I did here.

What makes this podfic truly extraordinary is that @raitala not only exactly captured the timing and tone of every word, but also precisely captured the meaning and feeling of the music parts of this fic through the soundscape they provided.

I've never listened to a podfic that provided a soundscape. The soundscape in this fic is almost all music. @raitala absorbed the meaning of the music from the fic, then also paid attention to the post I did about the music for the fic, then they did their own research to find additional pieces to fit the mood and meaning of the fic, then put that music into the fic at precise moments, sometimes letting it stand alone, sometimes layering it under the words of the fic, sometimes layering several tracks on top of each other to match the description or feeling of the music described in the fic.

The choices for the music are extraordinary. The layering of the music is extraordinary. The timing of the music is extraordinary. All of it is just literal enough for it to feel a bit like an audio play, but none of it is so literal that the fic is not allowed to be a fic--since it was written as a fic and not a play. The choices made around when the music starts and stops are thoughtful and deliberate and also perfect.

There is one time when sound is used that is not music, and this sound is used to create a distinct sense of space. It occurs when the two main characters are in the car, and what is extraordinary about this use of sound is that when I was writing that time in the car, I was trying so hard to create that sense of being in a small space with one other person you have strong feelings for, the way it can feel like another world, alone on the road. And @raitala took that feeling of otherworldliness and intimate privacy I was trying so hard to create and gave it its own distinct sound to outline the boundaries of that space and that feeling, as though when they read the fic, they got what I was trying to do. They got everything I was trying to do, and made it one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard.

I'm making this post to rec this podfic, but I also just really needed to ...idk, express? how meaningful this is for me personally. Like on the one hand, I want to tell you all that listening to this fic felt like finally getting to watch the movie of the characters you ship so hard fucking and kissing and saying all the things you want them to say--a shocking feat in and of itself, given that these characters are Chinese and speak Chinese and this fic is in English and the podfic and spoken in English. But on the other hand, I just want to go on about the fact that listening to this made me realize wow, this is a good fic, this is a meaningful fic, and if I can make people feel this way and understand what I mean in this shockingly beautiful way, then I really have been doing meaningful things writing fanfic my whole life; it really matters; it really touches people.

It touched me, and I hope it touches you.

[corvid-language-library]

I see you talk about shadowing as a language learning method. I understand it had something to do with YT videos? Can you tell a bit more about that, how does it work and how did you come up with it?

Hi there!

Shadowing is where you listen to a language and simultaneously attempt to repeat what you hear - mimicking sounds and intonation - even if you don't understand it right away. By mimicking native speakers this way you acquire more native-like pronunciation while also (ideally) absorbing vocabulary and sentence patterns and grammar structures. I think this article explains it a lot better than I probably can!

The recommended way to do this is using audiobooks or podcasts with transcripts, but the reason I started doing this is because I would watch YT videos about useful phrases for daily life or videos about my target grammar, but I'd forget the sentences almost immediately and then have to find the motivation to sit down and rewatch an entire video, sometimes multiple times. "If only there were a way I could listen to the target sentences constantly and just practice parroting them back!" I found myself thinking. "It'd be so much more efficient than looking them up every single time or having to rewatch a whole 20-minute video!"

And then I realised I could literally just use Audacity (free audio recording/editing software!) and record from my laptop speakers myself.

So, I've been going on Youtube, watching various grammar videos and then recording sentences I want to learn from those videos. I record at natural speed first, then at 0.5x playback and then again at 0.75x playback. I then edit it together with two seconds between each recording and a repeat at each speed (plus one final repeat at normal speed). So an audio looks like:

1) Normal speed 2 second break 2) 50% speed 2 second break 3) 75% speed 2 second break 4) Normal speed 2 second break 5) 50% speed 2 second break 6) 75% speed 2 second break 7) Normal speed

Sometimes for shorter sentences, I don't bother to slow the audio down, so I'll just have it repeat 5-6 times at normal speed.

Once I've recorded everything and edited it together, I put the mp3 on my phone. I have a few different playlists (each one around 10-15 minutes in length) - some for specific grammar, some for specific situations (eg shopping, izakaya) - and I usually just stick one on repeat while I'm walking somewhere or doing some kind of menial task that doesn't otherwise engage my brain (doing dishes, ironing, making materials for work etc). And then I do my best to mimic what I'm hearing just behind the speaker (or along with the speaker). Usually the first few times I listen to a track I just try to speak along with the slower versions, or maybe just mimic the specific target structure. As I hear it more and more, eventually I can speak along with the audio word for word and focus more on my intonation.

I've found it helpful so far because it helps me learn sentences while building the muscle memory of how to say certain words/grammar. I can much more easily recall a sentence I've heard on repeat/practiced saying a hundred times than one I've heard in a video once and written down in a notebook somewhere. And if I can recall a sentence, I can substitute words using correct grammar rather than trying to figure out how to say something from scratch (and hopefully choose the correct option on the JLPT when the time comes!)

Hope that answers your question! Feel free to send more 😊

[strawberryamanita]

Ever since I had it spelled-out to me that "straight" is a reference to the phrase "on the Straight and Narrow", I feel like I've personally begun to understand this conversation of "who gets to be included" and "who is xyz enough" more fully.

And frankly, I don't wanna take part in it.

Queerness in the contemporary age is defined by who you are and who you like; yet, in a weird, backwards way, it feels more inclusive to be defined by who you aren't -- who you can't be.

If you're not on the Straight and Narrow, you're queer. If you don't fit within these ridiculously rigid parameters, you don't belong. That's the long and short of it.

Listen, I know how important all the different identities and flags and MOGAI are in the queer community, and I'm not saying any of them should be rid of or diminished or any of that. But I think it might do us some good to use our flags the way flags are usually used: to display unity, not individuality. Sometimes thumbing through all these different labels can feel freeing, but other times they can help us box ourselves in.

Lemme just get down to brass tacks: the infighting never stops around here. It just moves on to the next target. We all get a turn to feel isolated and alienated and ostracized; I can't think of a single combination of demographics who hasn't been discussed as someone to be shunned.

Othered by the Others. What a lonely thing.

The LGBTQIA+ community is not a club that requires membership and initiation and hazing to be accepted into -- or, at least, it shouldn't be. I'm so physically sick of all the hair-splitting, y'all. I've stopped caring about who you are or aren't and who you like or don't like and which chromosomes make you what and whether kink is a factor that should be looked at and all of this talk talk talk talk talk. What defines queer? If you're not cishet. That's it. If you aren't one of them, you're one of us. Straightness is the perfect cogs that fit in the machine, and queerness is all those funky parts that get discarded and end up at a rummage sale where they can be given a new life, as something more than just a failed cog.

And to those who are about to ask, "What about the queer people who are actively malicious towards others?": again, it's not a club. You can have clubs and groups within the community, as you have a right to protect yourself, but queerness isn't a title you earn with morality. A flag usually flies over a group of similar individuals -- if you can see in your own nation, within your own race/ethnicity/heritage, that people are shitty, then you have the capacity to see that people that share your identity can be shitty too.

And trust me: there are some shitty queer people out there. And there are some cishet people I would sooner entrust with my queer vulnerability and safety.

I have no neat-and-tidy way to wrap this rant up. We're all a bunch of degenerate, fiendish sub-humans to our governments, and every time we successfully chase away a law that's meant to disenfranchise us even further, we turn around and see another one being written.

It's like SpongeBob and that stupid closet of alarm clocks that Squidward took the time out to wind.

Unity is the word. Link arms with your queer siblings this June. Any time we deem someone not queer enough -- not misfit enough, not shunned enough -- we're doing the oppressors' work for them.

Let this be a Happy Pride, for once.

[bunnyswritings]

ur blog is soo helpful !!!! ive been looking into writing more lately and this is like a godsend <3 i was wondering if u could do some starter tips?? like stuff to avoid as a new writer :o ps. hope ur having a wonderful week!!!

ahhh, hello!! this is such a sweet message, and thank you, i hope you have a fruitful week ahead too ♡ i'm so glad you're writing more lately- i'll def do my best to provide some starter tips (though i'm really also a starter myself 😅 so i hope you like these, and feel free to let me know what you think!) also, just to put it out there that these are what i found helpful personally / what i think will be helpful, and may / may not resonate with everyone. Also, this topic is soooo broad and there are a million things that can be covered, but for now I'll just keep it short and go with stuff to avoid (or rather, approach differently) as per request. if you / anyone else would like another post for more specific writing tips, feel free to drop it in my ask box!

Some general writing tips — stuff to avoid; little things to not overdo

over-planning

overusing fancy vocabulary

over-describing

over-criticising your work

over-comparing

more details under the cut!

Over-planning — plan the general outline, direction of your plot, message of your story, characters and their rough personalities; yes, do all that well! good planning makes for a good story, but i think it's helpful to remember that sometimes things don't pan out the way we envision them to. and it's important to let certain things go, appropriately of course. if your initial storyline doesn't quite fit the characterisation of the protagonist etc (and vice versa), then perhaps it's time to rethink things — and NOT be too hard-up about it. [tldr: be flexible!]

Overusing bombastic vocabulary — i'm sure you've come across millions of writing advice pieces that aim to spruce up your vocabulary with bombastic phrases. by all means go ahead and pick a few that fit the mood and style of your writing. otherwise, i'd say that sometimes, less is more. throwing in fancy words for the sake of it may not be as helpful as you think. there should be a fine balance between using words that add flavour + help to illustrate nuances and using words to make your piece seem complex. simplicity goes a long way, as i've learnt. but having said that, building up a solid repertoire of vocabulary / good phrases is always helpful, the key thing is using those phrases in the right context. definitely easier said than done, so i suggest reading your favourite author's works couple of times through and pick up their way of using language to their advantage.

Over-describing — narration, descriptive language are great, and can really help to nudge your story in the right direction. it helps set the scene, the mood, and all these are critical in writing... BUT! not the same can be applied to describing actions. not every single action has to be written out explicitly — an example: she walks over to the kitchen, turns around, and opens the refrigerator. she then takes out a canned drink, and places the drink on the countertop... etc — you get the point. some things can be left implied, rather than explicit.

Over-criticising your work — ahh, the age-old piece of advice. i do it all the time, and you probably do too... sometimes, being harsh on yourself and on your work may seem like the only way to better yourself and push your limits, but often times, i personally find that this is counter-productive both on the physical and mental front. it wears you down, it is a nidus for dejection and negative vibes. i think the way i try to get round this is by taking pride in my own work; telling myself that 'this is something i wrote, these are my ideas put into prose, these are my thoughts written on paper'. the caveat here is that avoiding being over-critical of your work DOES NOT and should not mean avoiding proofreading. proofreading is extremely crucial to check for grammatical and structural errors (i recommend doing it once or twice yourself, and if possible, getting a fresh pair of eyes to do the same).

Over-comparing — this ties in nicely with the previous point. take pride in your work! this is something original from you and you only, written in your unique style. having authors/writers whom you look up to is essential in moulding your writing style and habits, but should not be the sole focus when you write. remember that every writer is different, every piece of writing is different; this goes even for pieces with similar plots / tropes / character personalities. nuances, subtleties and underlying messages can come through very differently when written by different people. after all, our life journeys are all personal, which is a factor influencing the way we convey messages across through the written word.

and... that's it for now! i really hope that this helps. honestly, i'm scratching the surface here, and there are lots more i can talk about when i have more braincells >_<

feel free to drop any other requests or questions in my ask if you'd like ♡

[wimbledon2008]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

@semperama also sent me this ask! thanks for the opportunity to promote myself guys 😘

Have We Met Before? (Tennis RPF, Roger/Rafa)

what can i say, the old man tennis yaoi fucked me up. i had so many ideas i wanted to incorporate into this fic and it all came together kind of exactly how i wanted it to. i love angst and this is probably the saddest fic i've ever written, but the tone was solid and made the love confession hit just as hard as i hoped it would. i always wanted to write an amnesia au, and the trope ended up being perfect for fedal. i've read this one back a lot and every time i'm like damn, i wrote this?? during the busiest months at my job??? who knew she had it in her

Buck Diaz and the Missing Kiss (9-1-1, Buck/Eddie)

maybe not my "best" or most serious work but man, i had a lot of fun with this one. buck's pov is so much more enjoyable to write than eddie's, which is what my other 9-1-1 fics are. i'm a slow writer and typically can't stand a fic by the time i'm done with it, but i had to write this one in a hurry and it turned out even better than i thought i was capable of in such a limited amount of time, so i'm proud of that. it's also got some good jokes and i love playing with all the domestic details that make a slice of life fic feel warm and lived-in <3

Occam's Razor (Tenet, Neil/The Protagonist)

since the protagonist doesn't have a name i decided to write this one in second person, which was a fun challenge. i also thought my solution to nolan's little time loop crucible was clever, if not entirely compatible with the script. i like how sparse this one is, and it's more character-focused than plot- or romance-heavy when compared to most of my other works, so it feels fresh and different

Ten of Cups (Captive Prince, Damen/Laurent)

honestly i'm really proud of all my captive prince fics, but this is the first one i wrote and i still love it. i've always connected with c.s. pacat's writing style and i feel like i'm able to replicate it decently in fic. i've also spent so much time with the source material that damen and laurent's voices and personalities come very easily to me, which makes capri fic a lot of fun to write. all i ever wanted was for someone to give laurent a hug, and i was so glad i was able to give him one here <3

These Three Worn Words (Figure Skating RPF, Tessa/Scott)

this might be cheating because it's technically a collection of standalone works all under one banner but every single one of them slaps tbh. tessa and scott's wicked chemistry and beautiful lifelong heterosexual love was such a rich vein of inspiration that i managed to churn out more fics for them than i have for any other pairing before or since. for whatever reason they were very easy for me to write, and it was great fun putting them in all these different scenarios. i still think about some of the turns of phrase i came up with in these fics. like bitch, who was she? anyway, rpf forever!!!

[gin-juice-tonic]

convinced that you were somehow secretly alive in the 60s/70s. what sort of secret historical resources and/or time machines are you using to expand your knowledge of decades past

Ha ha, I dont feel I do a particularly great job, but I always find myself getting into googling sprees when I just wanted to post about something simple. I'm always checking if x thing was invented yet, or popularized yet, and I end up learning a lot of new things... So I would say the best way to expand your knowledge is to ask a question about One thing, and let the research take you around in circles to answers you didnt ask for.

I talked more under here but it got long. Im putting it under a read more and bolding key words like an ace attorney game.

As for specific resources I've looked at... hm... I've gone through a lot of the old sears catalogs. There's websites out there that have ones dating all the way back from 1940 to 2017. That can give you ideas about (some) styles of clothes and furniture popular at the time. There's also websites dedicated to explaining certain decades of american fashion. Sometimes I read old popular science magazines, mainly because google books has every single one of them archived and available to read for free...

Youtube has a lot of videos of old advertisements, those are good ways to both get into some pop culture and see societal attitudes. I've watched a lot of infomercials and employee training videos for stan in particular lol. If you have specific places you want to know about you can search for videos of them. Tourism videos work well if its a famous area, if not some people upload their home movies onto youtube as well.

If you really want to, you can read books (or skim books) that were written, or had been popular to read around the time. Or advice/guide books for specific occupations. Biographies of people of different ages are great as well to learn about what life was like more in a daily way...

This is long, so I'm just going to list some things now. Blogs dedicated to histories of certain things (music, sports, gay history, 5 string banjos, columbo, whatever!), TV shows and Movies from the time period you were interested in, old comics, redditors who want to post old photos of their favorite old hangouts, and lastly, you could also just talk to older people. I've bothered my parents asking about disco, I've bothered asking my grandma about pads in the 1950s. Most people like to reminisce or complain about things from their youth lol...

oh. And I almost forgot. I've used Cassell's Dictionary of Slang a few times. Usually just to check if a phrase that I want to use existed yet. But then in the course of my search I end up finding something I think is funny

[angelofverdum]

BEYONCE by Beyoncé

I've been listening to this album none stop and I don't know why.

Since March I've been going From Las mujeres ya no lloran to Cowboy Carter nonstop, they got me like

But I said mmm let me go listen to these two queens' whole discography, after I finished I went back to Beyonce's self-titled and I'm stuck there.

The first time I heard a song from this album I was still learning English, so I was like what the hell is a "Partition". I know I know, but I was tiny with pure thoughts.

I barely remember when the album dropped but the world was in shambles, I wasn't a fan then but I liked some of her songs, mostly the singles.

Everybody was talking about Partition because of the damn chair, but to me, the song sounded crazy like the rhythm was wrong, idk what it was but I didn't like it.

But I kept coming back to Partition even tho it sounded weird to me, but I was like this this:

Anyway, BEYONCE is the album that made me a fan, a few years later tho, I knew more english and I've matured. I listened to the album again and realized what a masterpiece that album is.

It's my favorite album from her, all the albums that have come after are probably better because Beyonce keeps growing as an artist and even today she hasn't peaked which is scary but BEYONCE is like an after and before of her career.

It feels like she said fuck commercial success, and I know she's been saying this since 4, but what she did was very risky and she made history.

BEYONCE is my favorite album because she was having fun, being horny, bisexual, and got a bob, how can I not love this album.

Like did she need to do all of this? no, but she did and we are thankful.

So I'm gonna talk about every song in her album because I feel like it

1. Pretty Hurts.

I think this is her weakest opening for an album. It's not one of my favorite songs from her in general but it's not a skip like people like to say, and somehow set the tone for what the album is. Also watching Beyonce throw up was shocking to me as an easily impressionable young girl.

2. Haunted.

Probably one of her less commercial songs but a masterpiece nonetheless. It's so so SO good, I wish I could eat this song. "Working 9 to 5 just to stay alive" She is so right for that and "Probably won't make no money off this, oh well" with the ghostly voice. A masterpiece through and through. "My wicked tongue where will it be". One of my favorite videos too.

3. Drunk in love.

Beyonce is a very horny person she put all of that in her art but when she sings with Jay-Z I feel they often get too close to giving too much information bc why was Jay saying they conceived Blue in Paris at the OTR tour? Me, personally I didn't need to know. Anyway, this song is a hit, it's better than Crazy in Love (a timeless hit) but not as good as Deja Vu.

But hello? The surfboard line and the "your breastesses in my breakfast" line. Just horny people and like he said "My wife Beyoncé, I brag different" I'll be like that too.

Also, this iconic dance that I have to do every time I listen to the song

4. Blow.

Her horniest song until now when she released Desert Eagle. "Can you lick my skittles in the middle" "Pink is the flavor" "I can't wait 'til I get home so you can turn that cherry out" the whole song is crazy and the best part she doesn't even say a bad word or an explicit phrase.

Well, "Gimme that daddy-long stroke" is kinda nasty. Also, what does she mean by this?

Does she want to taste that pink flavor? Ok BIyoncé

5. No angel.

In this song, Beyonce is saying that no one is perfect, not even her, and that if you are in a relationship you have to work hard and fuck harder

"Stop actin’ so scared, just do what I tell. First, both of my legs go back on your head. And whatever you want, yeah, baby, I’ll bet it comes true"

And we should listen bc that's on 16 years of marriage

6. Yonce/Partition

The best song on the album. The badassery in Yoncé. The bisexualism that is the video. One of the best bars ever written for a song "I sneezed on the beat and the beat go sicker". The song is so perfect and sexy and nasty. "I don't need you seein' 'Yoncé on her knees"

In this song, she is supposed to be singing to her man about having sex in a car but she is also fantasizing about a threesome with another woman "The kind of girl you like is right here with me"

She had a woman liking her neck, appearing from between their legs and touching her sensually. Oh, Partition you'll always be famous.

7. Jealous

This is the kind of song that made me wonder how much of this was biographical and how much was imagination. Here she talks about waiting for him at home and she says something similar in Lemonade. I don't want to repeat myself but I really love this song. It's just so good.

Also wtf Jay? She is in her penthouse half-naked, cooking a meal for you naked. So where the hell you are?

8. Rocket

I think this one is the only song I had trouble liking it. And I know now that is a good song, don't love but I like it enough to not skip it. Beyonce asks from the jump if she can sit her ass on you. What's not to like? She is guiding you through the whole song"Hard rock, Steady rock" and "Got me screaming to the lord" I just know she has Jay tired.

9. Mine

This song is so good that I can listen to Drake's annoying ass. I wish it was her voice only. Her part is so good "I'm not feeling like myself since the baby" "Me being wherever I'm at worried about wherever you are" also "Alone in my place my heart is away" You'll crumble Sean Carter for making her feel this way.

10. XO

It's crazy how this song makes me feel so nostalgic. It's like it brings happy childhood memories. That kind of feeling makes me love and appreciate this song so so much.

11.***Flawless

She went to the studio mad as hell, ready to invent feminism to tell the haters fuck you.

12. Superpower

The most underrated song on the album. Still relevant to this day. Pharrell and Boots did their thing with this one, and Beyoncé of course. And the social implications, the feminism, the iconism, the cultural significance of this moment right here:

Destiny's Child, you are so loved by me.

13. Heaven

Heaven makes me so emotional. Letting go someone you love is not an easy thing to do. Boots is pretty good at what he does.

14. Blue

The iconic Blue Ivy Carter. Imagine your mom is Beyonce and she writes one of the most beautiful songs for you. It's not my favorite song and it's definitely not her best close song for an album (That goes to Summer Renaissance).

Platinum edition

Yes, I'm writing about these six tracks because the cowboy lady decided that the platinum edition will be the only one available on Spotify, even tho everybody knows that the deluxe versions of an album always suck and the standards are always better.

1. 7/11

This is one of her most fun videos just laughing and dancing. However, why is she saying that she wants to "Kick it" with a girl and a guy? Also, this is the song she chose to celebrate the legalization of gay marriage in the US and this is how she perform live that damn song

Jay-z you'll pay for getting to her too young and not letting her experiment.

2. Flawless remix

Nicki did her thing she was the best rapper in town. The Beynika stans were born and they were claiming Nicki and Bey were in love. Fanfics were created. You had to be there. The song is fine. I can listen to this version or the solo version, it's the same to me.

3. Drunk in Love (Remix)

Nobody listens to this song. A skip totally. Like Kanye should just shut up, thinking he can do a decent verse next to the best rapper in the game and Jay-Z. Beyonce was wrong for inviting him.

4. Ring off

I'm not going to say anything nasty because I support women's freedom and Mama Tina getting out of her sad marriage because it was time she put her love on top.

5. Blow Remix

Shut up Pharell. Coming here to ruin a perfect song.

6. Standing on the song remix

The Creole lady said you gonna get the remix and you gonna like it. I'm giving this song its 8.5 for giving me latinyoncé.

"Mix up passion with fruit, sangria BB Cubana, ay, qué lindo ya tú sabes, camino como cocino, primo"

Grown Woman

I know this song is not a track on the album but I wanted to include it on this list because first, it's so good, and second it's fascinating how Beyonce did this for a Pepsi commercial, release a whole ass video on the visual album, and only 10 years later she put it on streaming. She is crazy.

Nothing else to add besides BEYONCÉ is so important to the music industry. It popularized visuals (She doesn't do that anymore tho) and established Friday as the official day for music releases.

After this Album Beyonce has been releasing masterpiece after masterpiece.

I'll stop yapping now after saying I love Beyoncé and we should invent immortality for her.

[f-oighear]

For the Writer Ask Game with fruits, let me give you some 🍒🍍🍋🍌🍏🍈🫐 for your fruit basket^^

fghjfgjhsd that is indeed a basket. Thanks!

🍒 What’s your favorite character dynamic to write? (Can be romantic or platonic, specific or general!)

I think I've said it several times already but writing Zora and Nebra is always a treat whether it's romantic or platonic. They are so funny.

🍍What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs you hate or just generally have beef with?

I like canon divergence! Both for reading and writing, really. I also love time loop stories or time travel stories.

As for AUs I dislike... it'd be settings I don't understand or lack the knowledge to? (and where it's crucial to have that knowledge) Like some historical AUs or the Omegaverse— I've never managed to understand what was going on in the omegaverse.

🍋 What’s your favorite spicier trope to write?

fhdfhjs none. Spice isn't for me, I'm afraid. Vanilla writer 😂

🍌 In your opinion, what’s the funniest joke/reference/pun you’ve made in a fic?

Ohhh... I like running jokes. Noelle not having a restraining spell is the only one I can think of right now. I also had a lot of fun with Neran in I'll Follow with references and cultural jokes.

🍏 Is there something you overuse, whether it’s a certain phrase, trope, or piece of punctuation?

I think I overuse italics? It was striking in the middle parts of the Soulmate AU (The Agreement, Where The Heart Is, Stargazers). I caught that upon rereading Where The Heart Is a few months ago (and edited some italics out fhdfdsj). I'm also a sucker for stream of consciousness. Love internal monologues. Will never stop.

🍈 Who’s your blorbo and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

I'd say the Silvas, although I've worked much less with Solid than the other three (I have arguably worked more with the dead OCs than him which is appalling— I'm sorry, Solid).

My favorite head canon about House Silva as a whole is that they are fundamentally seen as 'cursed' by the other two royal houses. I hc that there's only the four Silvas remaining— everyone else is dead or gone— and that's why the current Silva siblings are all so pressed about their reputation. They're alone to fend for themselves.

I think Nebra was clingy as a child. Nozel had a few hiding places in the castle and Nebra found every single one of them. The poor boy could get no peace unless Acier kept Nebra busy to get her eldest some reprieve.

Nebra is messy. She is a pacer, she is a klutz, she is constantly embarrassed by it and hides it behind the usual confident front. It also shows up in several fics of mine but she is absolutely awful at any type of paperwork she attempts on doing.

Nozel doesn't trust his siblings and I think he will tend to fix his siblings' mistakes himself without telling them he did. Especially if it involves squad work. There's also what happened after the dinner of doom in Your World.

Solid was a fussy baby and then a fussy child. Asking for one thing and then crying and yelling because he didn't want that or he wanted it before or he wanted it differently. Fussy.

All Silva siblings have a little box with things that belonged to Acier. Noelle got a few scraps like post cards Acier sent. She has spent so much time trying to copy her mother's handwriting.

Aaaand I think I'll stop here because we're going to sad territory 😂

🫐 What’s your favorite underrated thing in your fandom? (A ship that only you seem to write for, a character there’s almost no fics about, a trope that criminally hasn’t been written yet, etc.)

Mmmh... It's a tough one because I don't usually focus on what's not there or not there enough? I think the good thing about BC is that dspite having loads of characters, they're all fleshed out enough for people to get interested in them? You see fans of different characters or minor characters everywhere (so you see head canons and analyses and fics and art about those characters or ships too). So I don't think there's anything lacking or underrated.

Went on a ramble here and digressed, so I'll just answer the question. Favorite underrated thing in my fandom: Early Black Bulls fics! The chaos it must have been. (also, we thank @acacia-may for the ones she wrote, they are incredible)

[sportsthoughts]

Sorry if I missed this lore drop previously, but how'd you get into the Pens? I love your gifs and positivity that you bring to the lb!

Buckle up anon. I thought about one line answering this but I enjoy the phrase 'lore drop' so much I think you deserve the deep dive. It'll take a while to get to the pens but you asked for lore so...

I have been sportsthoughts on tumblr since 2015 ish - maybe slightly earlier - and this has always been a sportsblr/sports rpf-y type blog in various iterations.

This blog was originally used for liveblogging UK Premier League and La Liga football matches. I have always been a huge football fan (my childhood team is Arsenal - north London forever ❤️ etc etc) and when I moved away to university at 18 none of my new friends were into sports and I really missed watching games with my family.

Finding other likeminded fans online who were also watching games and liveblogging them was such a beautiful experience and I have amazing memories of 2015-2018ish when I was a very active football blog, spent a lot of the time in the Arsenal/FC Barcelona communities here and had some beautiful trips to Barca.

I do have a sideblog where I still dabble in that space but in truth I very rarely liveblog football anymore because nowadays it's returned to being something I watch with friends and family so I'm not on my phone during games.

Here's where the pens come in - sort of. I've scrolled back through my AO3 bookmarks and can see in 2015 I also got into sports RPF for the first time. There are some incredible football RPF fics out there (let me know if you'd like some recs!). Somehow - probably through raiding people's bookmarks - in early 2015 I ended up reading a Sid/Geno fic called And Never Been Kissed and I was absolutely hooked. At the time of reading this I had:

1. Never watched a game of hockey in my life (side note, I don't think I can understate how little hockey coverage there is in the UK. Even the most ardent sports fan would probably not be able to name a single NHL player or team. Not even Sid! Not even Gretzky!)

2. I had no idea, nor any desire to look up who these people actually were. It was just like reading really well written original fiction.

For the next 7 years I thoroughly enjoyed hockey RPF and created (in my mind) entire personalities and appearances for Sid and Geno, along with all the other 'characters I came across regularly in hockey fic. Sid, I got pretty close to the mark. Geno, not so much. One day I will try and find some reference pictures for what I thought they looked like because it’s quite hilarious. When I re-read fics I love from during that time I laugh because I remember my Sid and Geno and how different they were from reality.

So, hockey was sort of in my life from 2015 but exclusively in the form of fics. I would scroll through the actual hockey bits of works because I didn’t understand the rules and why every single fic was an AU where professional sports people were allowed to fight each other mid game.

At this point I’d left university, and because I no longer liveblogged football games, I found I really missed sports fandom. Another sport I grew up watching and loving was Formula 1 so when lockdown hit in March 2020 I started liveblogging F1 races to pass the time (and still do sometimes - now over on @vroomlive). I loved/still love F1blr, but it didn't quite fill my fandom itch because:

1. We joke about it, but F1 is a deeply unserious sport run by a dire organisation (Liberty Media). They change the rules every week and it's managed badly to the point of being comical. There have been a few major cock ups over the years (including the 2021 championship literally being taken away from the rightful winner and given to someone else. To put this in hockey terms: imagine a completely valid goal being overruled in the last 5 minutes of the Stanley Cup final and then the ref deciding to give the other team a 5 on 3 powerplay Just Because) all of this is quite disheartening for long term fans - and has resulted in quite a fractured and angsty fandom.

2. There are only about 20 F1 races a year - so it's just not a sport that's on regularly. I love sports, and I want to watch sports all the time - so a sport that only gave me content every third weekend or so just wasn't really enough for me.

At this point, when I was feeling rather sports fandom bankrupt, the wonderful work of Sid/Geno writers and the influence of the tumblr dashboard converged. I worked this out by scouring my AO3 bookmarks - in April 2021 I read a Sid/Geno fic called Game Plan that I fell head over heels for. I’m still not quite sure what about this fic grasped me so deeply but I started reading a lot more hockey RPF.

Around the same time an F1 blog I followed started posting about Mat Barzal All. The. Time. I had no interest in this man and did not know he was a hockey player but over the course of about a year I became vaguely exposed to hockey content on Tumblr through that blog, and at some point in early 2022, saw Sid on my dash for the first time. I don’t remember the exact post but I remember seeing the name, doing a double take and thinking oh Shit! That’s Sidney Crosby from fanfiction! I was flabbergasted because in my mind Sid was in his early 20s tops, so seeing this early thirties, bearded, fat bottomed man on my dash and realising that that was Sid was such a shock. 

My hockey lurker era lasted from mid 2022 to early 2023 and I spent a lot of time, um, lurking. That sounds so creepy. I suppose I had never thought about actively joining a fandom before because my fandom engagement (one direction > football > f1) had all happened really organically so actually choosing to join a space as an adult was quite an interesting process.

By summer of 2023 my husband’s job changed again meaning he works away from home most weeknights and suddenly my late nights were extremely free because I’d hang out with friends and then go home at 10/11 to an empty house which I hated. I really found myself wanting to make fandom friends and have an at home hobby I could do late at night before going to bed so taking on a sport that happened 12am-2am (timezones!) seemed like a good fit. 

Alongside this on a totally separate track was my longstanding interest in fandom - most of my professional work/research is pretty standard psychotherapy stuff but I’ve done a little bit of work over the last few years looking at sex therapy (not as sexy as it sounds) and I have a real interest in the role that fandom and especially shipping/fic plays in shaping and expressing sexuality. It’s a bit of a back burner research topic for now but I suppose over the years researching fic and expressions of sexuality via fandom and shipping has just made me fall in love with fandom itself a little bit.

Plus having lurked around the edges of hockeyblr for a while I was just like, yeah, I really want in on this, this seems like an awesome community. The reason why I chose the pens was pretty straightforward - I felt like I knew Sid and Geno and after exploring the real life hockey, I, like most of us, was quite struck by who Sid is as a person and was just completely enchanted. Another side note - hilariously, when my husband first saw a picture of Sid last year he immediately said “Oh, he looks like me!” - do with that information what you wish. 

I really eagerly awaited the start of the 2023 season and without sounding too soppy, had already fallen in love with you guys before I ever watched a live hockey game. Every fandom has its difficult corners (pensblr included!) but I can honestly say - especially after the chaos of spending my teenage years knee deep in 1D fandom and my early and mid twenties in various parts of sportsblr - being part of this space has been the most lovely, fun, friendly, lighthearted, positive and beautiful fandom experience I’ve ever had. I feel like it’s the goldilocks zone of all the previous fandoms I’ve been in and I love it.

So yeah! That is the extremely long winded answer to your question, anon. I hope this is the ‘lore drop’ you were looking for lol

TLDR: I stumbled my way through sportsblr until I accidentally ended up here and I’m never leaving.

[severeweatheralert]

Things I learned while writing two novel-length fics in the space of nine months

Or, advice I hope might be of someone use to someone out there, but all brains are different so YMMV. Ironically, this is probably the longest tumblr post I've ever written. Do let me know if you got something out of it!

Planning

You don't need to know every single plot detail at the start. It DOES really help to know roughly where you're going, plotwise and thematically, so it feels less like you're running straight into the great unknown and more like you're headed to some destination. Even if you don't quite know how you're going to get there, yet.

You don't need to know every single character detail, either. Favourite song? Favourite food? I couldn't name my own, let alone my characters'. What is important is a general idea of what makes them tick. What do they want? Why are they here? How do they think? (and if you do introduce details, save them in a notes file someplace, so you can easily find them later).

Outlines are great. Outlines are not the law. If you come up with something that works better than the thing you'd originally planned? Change it.

Scene setting

Remember that you're writing fic, not a movie script. That means you don't have an effects team to pay and you can make the entire environment do whatever you want. Forest fire on the horizon to match your characters' mood? Do it.

Trust that your readers' imagination works. You don't need to describe every single detail to set a scene effectively. Just pick out a few that give off the mood you want, and leave it at that. (Setting dependent, of course- a scifi setting will need more description than a classroom or a hospital room, where most people will have been in their life at least once). This goes for character descriptions too.

Sprinkle scene descriptors through the dialogue/action instead of starting with a whole paragraph of exposition. You'll pull people in quicker.

Research: if you're setting your fic in an existing place, it helps to do (some) research and incorporate that in the work. Simple things like incorporating the name of an existing retail chain or a highway makes your setting feel a lot more real. Google Maps is great if you're writing in a country you've never been to. Just hop on streetview.

Drafting

If you're trying and failing (multiple times) to write a scene, ask yourself if there might be a pacing reason for that. Is the scene necessary at all? Are you trying to start too early in the scene? What are you trying to establish with it, and could that maybe happen elsewhere in the story?

If you get stuck on a phrase/name you haven't picked/word you can't think of/detail you haven't yet researched: put something like [NAME] in brackets. Then keep going. You can come back to it later and you don't need to disrupt your writing flow.

Turn grammar and spell check off. Run a spell check when editing but don't get haunted by the little red line while drafting. A lot of the time its suggestions are bad anyway.

When writing dialogue-heavy scenes, it's sometimes nice to get the actual dialogue out of the way first, then come back later and add actions or descriptions in between to pace the dialogue.

Sometimes you'll have to draft a scene multiple times before it feels right. This is painful, but ultimately okay.

Feel like you should write but don't really want to? I like to set a timer for like 20-30 minutes, give it a go, and if I'm not into it by the time it goes off I'll go do something else.

Editing

Let a section sit for at least a day before going back in to edit. Give your brain some time to forget some of it. You can still draft the next bit in this time!

Sometimes it helps to set the text to a different font or to paste it into a different text editor. Trick your brain into thinking you haven't seen it before, basically. If you're brave, you can even use the editor of whatever website you're posting to.

This is when you run the spell check. But remember: you're allowed to mess with grammar and use words that the spell check says don't exist. "He deadpanned" is a perfectly understandable dialogue tag, for example.

Use a thesaurus! I like powerthesaurus.org because it has a dark mode. The main thing to remember is that you're using it to find synonyms that may fit your meaning/the mood better, not to find more complex words. Especially useful if you find yourself using the same word over and over in a section.

Practical things

Brainstorming on paper works WAY better for my brain than brainstorming digitally, for reasons unknown. Plus you get the fullfillment of using up a notebook.

Have a scraps folder for deleted scenes. Don't actually delete them! You can scrap them for good lines later.

Especially for longform work, keep notes. Things like repeated lines, relevant plot details, things you want to incorporate in future chapters: keep them somewhere where you can find them.

For writer's block: sometimes you need to let a story simmer for a bit. I like going for hikes or chewing on my plot in the shower.

I like having two WIPs with vastly different moods at the same time. One in posting stages, one in drafting stages. That way if I don't want to work on a very moody WIP, I can switch to the other and still get something done.

If you're writing longform work: you'll improve over time. Try to resist the urge to go back and edit the first chapters once they start grating at your perfectionism. Especially if you've already posted them.

Don't write the whole thing in one document if it's longer than ~10k. I like SmartEdit Writer to organize my fics. It's free.

Uploading

I'd recommend having a few chapters' backlog before you start posting. This way you a) know you like the fic enough to keep working on it for more than one chapter; b) have some backlog in case writer's block strikes or life gets in the way of writing; c) can go back and edit in foreshadowing or edit out plotholes as you discover them.

If you have (and want to give) a lot of content warnings, keep a list while you're writing the chapter, so you don't have to figure it out last minute before uploading.

Your works' stats (kudos/hits/subs/comments) say nothing about the quality of your work. This one is hard to internalize.

[justhere4thevibez]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @staceymcgillicuddy @cyraclove and @bibiche007 thanks guys 💛💛💛

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32! I can't believe it!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

420,197 which is insane!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things, hellcheer specifically

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Long Is the Road Out of Hell (dnd au)

The Interview (college/fake dating au)

Hold Onto Me (vampire au)

Cooking Up Something Sweet (rockstar social media au)

Waiting For This Moment (flower shop/tattoo parlor au)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I try to respond to every single comment! They took the time to give me a comment, why wouldn't I take the time to thank them for it?

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

That's tough, because I always try to give hellcheer a happy ending - they deserve it! But Release My Inner Fantasy, despite being almost purely smut, definitely has the angstiest ending. (although it might be slightly cheating since it is part of an ongoing series, and I do intend to give them an eventual happy ending)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, I love to write happy endings! So most of my fics are very happy at the close. But Hooked on a Feeling might be my most sappy-sweet ending. It's definitely one of my more lighthearted fics!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

honestly, no! the hellcheer fandom overall has been very kind to me. the closest I get to hate on fics is people wishing/asking me to do something different than I've already done (i.e. write an alternate ending because they didn't want A or B in it), which can be very discouraging. but I don't get that a lot!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! However, I had never written actual smut in my life until this year, so I'm still pretty new at it

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really. The closest I've ever gotten to a crossover is crossover elements loosely integrated in a fic. Devil in the Woods, for example, uses bits and pieces from things like little red riding hood and beauty and the beast while remaining very much its own thing!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! And I'd very much like to keep it that way

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don't think so! but i'd be honored if somebody did

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't, but I have a lovely friend who betas for me on occasion and we bounce ideas back and forth so much it sometimes feels like cowriting ( @slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction )

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

hellcheer, if you couldn't tell 😉

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I intend to finish every single wip I have going atm (As well as a few on the back burner lol). but sometimes it feels like i'm never going to finish them, especially when i'm on the very last chapters. why does it always work like that???

16. What are your writing strengths?

I feel like i'm pretty good at writing intimate scenes. and by that i mean scenes where not a lot's going on, where a small group of characters (usually two) can be together or have a conversation that doesn't do much for the plot but sheds a lot of light on the characters themselves (both to the readers and within the story between characters)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm very undisciplined with writing habits, i don't write every day or have certain goals. i struggle to describe people and scenery in a concrete way that is integrative with the story itself.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

find a native speaker and get (and listen to) their feedback. whether it's tenses, phrases, or cultural tendencies, let someone who's actually the expert be the expert.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

hellcheer! unless you count me scribbling in my journal when i was about eight, writing a boxcar children story because i'd heard that they employed ghost writers and i thought "i could do that!" i wrote like half a dozen sentences, convinced i was going to become employed by the boxcar children publisher.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

honestly? probably Devil in the Woods. it's the one i go back to the most when i need a comfort read.

Tagging @slumped-in-the-arms-of-fiction @sloelimbs@ebongawk and anyone else who wants to join!

[i-heart-hxh]

Hi! Ok honestly I was going to find a more proper way to phrase this but can we just talk about Nagareboshi Kirari for a minute, and how it is 100% a love song from the perspective of Killua to Gon. I don’t see many people talking about it and it gets glossed over compared to some of the other endings but honestly it’s always been my favourite. The fact that nearly every single line is a direct reference to something Killua has been through with Gon is crazy, and with the “shooting star” references and implications, I don’t think it’s crazy to say that YUZU interpreted the manga the same way most of us shippers do, especially CAA. Idk, maybe I’m just crazy but this is something I’m almost 100% convinced of (like a lot of Killugon stuff in HxH I guess ha ha) but what are your thoughts?

Sorry for taking a bit to reply, I wanted to reply thoughtfully!

I definitely agree with you! I've read before that Yuzu re-read the entire manga before writing the songs they did for HxH, and also that they're big fans of the series to begin with, so I think it's fair to say that they wrote the songs they did with intention. Also, multiple people have pointed out that Nagareboshi Kirari uses wedding bells in it, which I mean, enough said. As big fans of the series, it would make sense that they see the (pretty clear) implications with Killua's feelings and they would include that in a song made for the series.

@hunterxhell also shared another song that Yuzu wrote around the same time period that may have been used for HxH if things had gone differently (I agree with this conclusion, it's too coincidental otherwise with the lyrics), and some other songs that they may have written with HxH in mind.

Honestly, the 2011 production is riddled with staff who have made romantic implications between Gon and Killua--from the director saying they're like a mature married couple, to Mariya Ise saying outright and extremely clearly that she thinks Killua is in love with Gon, Niuya, one of the animators for HxH 2011 would post KilluGon fanart on Twitter while it was airing (and published a doujin with shippy drawings included), and so on. Not to mention things like the Huncyclopedia kiss, ai-ai gasa, the episode previews during Chimera Ant arc, and more. These are all additions that didn't need to happen, they just as easily could have not included them. But they did!

The people who worked on the anime certainly studied the manga carefully--it's simply a big part of the process of adapting a manga to an anime, and especially with how faithful 2011 is to the manga (*overall, with some exceptions :p). I don't think it's a coincidence at all that many people looking at this manga carefully came to this conclusion. It's the same conclusion I've come to as well after years of carefully studying it and reading about Togashi and his inspirations/interviews/etc. The subtext is strong and clear and all over the place once you start looking for it, and a good portion of it isn't even subtext but just...text.

Anyway, I got on a bit of a tangent, but YES, I definitely think it's intentional and I absolutely think Yuzu wrote it with Killua's feelings in mind!

[storyhaunt]

im so interested by you saying that most people dont have enough magic to be a one-time meal... does it ever happen that someone is actually Too Much Magic at once / @feminurge

first of all: thank you so much for the question, i am looking at you with the biggest wettest eyes possible. second of all, i am going to go on a bit of a tangent explaining different things, so that things are brought up to speed and hopefully make more sense when i do finally answer your question! (apologizing now for how long this may get)

as a quick note, i may have phrased things poorly with regards to the 'one-time meal' thing, and it's actually the opposite that's true; most people don't have enough magic to be anything other than a one-time meal, as they don't have a sufficient enough magic reserve that can be drawn from and replenished routinely. but i'll explain more about that in a second. first, a general explanation of gyryth feeding is probably in order.

the headcanon post i've written on the general subject, found on rýsir's blog;

magic consumption is a genuine and integral part of a gyryth's diet. as creatures that are forged from magic and embedded with rot, sapping magic from tangible and living sources helps to regulate their own deposits and maintain their physical health. magic consumption is not something that needs to happen every single day, and gyryth can go quite a bit without that kind of feeding (assuming they had a decent and sustainable meal previously), but eventually, they're going to need to eat. likewise, some gyryth do have a higher need for magic than others: a gyryth's hunger heavily depends on how stable and complete of a creature they are*.

* as gyryth live through magic and are made through it and death, there are going to be some gyryth who are less 'stable' than others. their bodies are not as strong and are prone to physical rot and deterioration, which subsequently leads to a whole sect of gyryth that seem more concretely and visibly undead. this is, of course, all assuming they do not maintain their own health; a task that is difficult with their high needs, but nevertheless achievable. from a religious perspective, these gyryth are considered 'incomplete' and 'without balhamath's favor'.

for the sake of things making sense, we're going to look at an individuals power-threshold where magic is concerned as a sliding scale of how well they can harness and control the flow of magic. a mage who is just starting out, or someone with very little magical incline, may be very low on that scale and able to only 'welcome in' an incredibly low amount of magic; their personal reserve of mana is probably inconsequential. they are a light snack — or crumbs, depending on how far down they are on that scale — compared to a mage who has an exceptionally high threshold where magic is concerned, and can tap into a considerably large pool of mana. now, training doesn't always matter; sometimes, folks are just born with immense magic capability and potential. the point is, the more magic someone can access, the more desirable they are.

think of it as … the more you can reach for, the more that a gyryth can syphon from. because ultimately, they're not just eating what is inside of you, but they're also draining whatever they can from that metaphorical door you've got open inside of you. for someone with low magic capability, a gyryth isn't going to get as much out of them, and while a weak gyryth can't afford to complain about the meals they find, it is always preferable to find someone, or something, with a more sizable threshold.

most magic-users are going to fall in the realm of being a one-meal-wonder, due to the fact that the standard and average mage has the perfect amount of magic needs to hold a gyryth off for a decent amount of time, before the 'insatiable' aspect of their insatiable hunger starts to scratch at them. unless a gyryth has decided to go after a gaggle of non-mages with exceptionally slim magic potential, they are usually able to settle on one person, drain them in entirety (and subsequently kill them), and lay back for however long their body allowed them before it's time to eat again. now, above-average and relatively powerful mages are more akin to a buffet than your average meal; assuming a gyryth distributes their energy properly, they'll be set for awhile if they manage to catch themselves an adversary of a magic-user. in rare cases, a gyryth can regularly feed off of the same magic-user if they [the magic-user] is powerful enough and has a deep enough reserve, as well as if the gyryth portions themselves well; this is incredibly infrequent and unlikely, as few mages are happy to give away their very lifeblood to such a parasite, but hey, anything is possible.

when it comes to someone having too much magic for a gyryth to eat at once … yes, there are a few individuals where that is the case.

now, i'm going to draw a quick distinction between rýsir and other gyryth, because it is important to know and understand how he is set apart and why he is as central of a figure in aglarhain's schemes, and why the ultimate answer to your question is going to be different for them than it is for him.

rýsir, before he was made into gyryth by aglarhain, was something known as a rhaggar. the rhaggar, also known as dragon-folk, were incredibly powerful; from a lore-perspective, while they were not quite gods, they were a rung above 'demigods', being seen as one of the original divine races. as a divine race, they naturally contain more magic than most other species are capable of withstanding, and they produce their magic indefinitely. it's the reason why aglarhain sought them out to elevate himself to godhood, and to tear apart the very fabric of reality — because even just a few rhaggar, if you could effectively harness the full berth of magic inside each individual, would be enough to puncture the threads that hold the realms together. it's also why aglarhain became as powerful as he did after the final slaughter against the rhaggar; because he had managed to capture and convert rýsir, and by syphoning off his magic bit by bit, over a 20+ year period, he did nearly achieve godhood.

anyway — all of that is to say that rýsir did not stop being a rhaggar when he was killed and brought back as gyryth. his body still indefinitely replenishes his own magic reserves, albeit a bit more slowly than before considering he is still being eaten away at to a degree, whereas other gyryth are constantly at threat of deterioration if they do not feed. he still experiences insatiable hunger, and theoretically, he can rot as any other gyryth, but his chances of having that happen are incredibly slim.

with that being said, because of the nature of rhaggar and just what they are capable of, and because of what rýsir is now capable of — rýsir technically wouldn't face any consequences were he to feed on someone with 'too much magic' all at once, though as i've said, he generally steers clear of feeding from extremely powerful entities, if only because, unless they were willing, trying to fight someone for their lifeblood is usually a bit more effort than it's worth when you are actually placing yourself in legitimate danger. he can pluck off mages like it's nothing, even above-average ones, but for as much as he enjoys a good fight, and as much as he thinks it adds flavor to one's magic … he loses interest past a certain threshold. again, unless they are a willing participant in the feeding and a deal has been struck where he performs routine feedings. the most he has to worry about is a headache and too much energy.

as for literally every other gyryth … yes. yes, they run the absolute risk of coming face to face with a magic-user who would be too much for them to consume. most gyryth are privy to their own limits, but others, especially those made desperate by hunger, can be blind to their own capacities. similar to how a gyryth will begin to rot and decay if they do not regularly feed off of an adequate amount of magic to sustain themselves, if a gyryth attempts to bite off more than they can chew, a similar effect will be the consequence: as their bodies have become changed by balhamath's magic, thus will their bodies continue to change upon overconsumption, rendering them even more unrecognizable and horrific, and, oftentimes, driving them to the point of crazed desperation (resulting in increased aggression and erraticism). their body and soul can only hold so much magic, and though it won't kill them to overconsume (only balhamath can give them the mercy of a permanent death), it is far from beneficial.

which … i went off on a tangent, there. oopsie. and i need to wrap this up because it's getting late and i'm running out of steam, so —

THE TLDR; "does it ever happen that someone is actually Too Much Magic at once." for rýsir; no, but he values his pride and has no interest in possibly getting his ass kicked. for every other gyryth; yes.

[freakingoutthesquares]

Beginner's Fuck Words: Chris Roberts, Photographer: Phil Ward Taken from Melody Maker, 19 March 1994 Transcription: Acrylic Afternoons

For some, it was dark and grubby. For others, Blakean and euphoric. The loss of virginity is an event (or not) which most recall as imperfect but momentous, or at least crap but interesting.

Bob Mortimer cites an overwhelming sense of "I am about to do it, I am doing it, I have done it." Jo Brand remembers her head banging against the base of the toilet. "She was very into the Bay City Rollers," sighs Terry Hall (though not of Jo Brand), "which put me off a bit. But not enough." Jarvis Cocker didn't tell anyone about it for five years, fearing the secret might lose its magic.

We know all this because Pulp, right now Britain's most stimulating pop group, have made a half-hour film interviewing various surprisingly candid quasi-names (Justine Frischman, John Peel, Pam Hogg, Alison Steadman, etc) about their sexual awakening. The film premiered at the ICA last week and is a funny and touching - as the phrase goes - catalyst for discussion and irreverent nostalgia.

It also ties in (sort of) with Pulp's new single, "Do You Remember The First Time?", which revisits the bravado of "Lipgloss" and "Razzmatazz" and is in every way irresistible. After years of bruised suburban sonatas, Pulp - suddenly hailed across the media as sex gods and glam messiahs - are ready to be defiled by popular acclaim.

Talk about sex? Pulp have already done that more times than the average women's glossy. Yet when you ask Pulp if they sometimes think everything's been done before, guitarist/violinist Russell says, "The ancient Greeks were saying that as well, weren't they?" and mainman Jarvis says, "That would be a very defeatist attitude. Even if every experience in life has been had by someone before, it's not been had by you. Unless you believe in reincarnation, which I'm not that bothered about myself." 

"We tried to make an accessible film," begins bassist Steve. "The tone of it's light, watchable, funny. We've discouraged the tabloids - there are enough quotes to bury everyone on it, taken out of context, so we've been quite careful there."

"As it stands," adds Jarvis, "anyone could watch it, even people who might find our music distasteful. I'm not obsessed with sex, don't get me wrong. It's just that so often it gets written about in an idealised way or a 'Carry On' nudge-nudge way. Then again, I don't think it would be so great if it was more open, like I imagine Norway to be, where they discuss it over the breakfast table."

"There is a lot to be said for English restraint," muses Russell. "The fact that something is forbidden makes it more exciting.

"Ah, but that's when you get your suspenders on and your orange in your mouth," interrupts Jarvis. There is some confusion.

"No, not you personally Russell; I mean that bloke. They only do that cos you have to lock yourself away in private. If it wasn't 'bad' they wouldn't be drawn to that twisted sexuality."

"There's a frisson to the whole thing," continues Russell. "So when you do break it down it seems to mean something and it's not just something you do as a matter of course. I was on a train once with this German girl and she just got changed in front of me, and, well, it didn't turn me on... I felt really insulted by it, to tell you the truth. I thought: I'm a man..."

"Maybe she was trying to tell you something," suggests Jarvis.

"No, well, she wasn't, that was the thing. It was..." Russell tails off.

Was this in England or in Germany?

"It was in the former Yugoslavia."

What comes across repeatedly in the filmed interviews is the sense of relief everyone felt from adolescent peer pressure to have "done it".

"We found quite a difference between men and women," observes Jarvis, "in that men would be more inclined to brag off about it, the thing that 'I've pulled'. Whereas a girl wouldn't run around school going 'I've had a shag'. I'm not saying that's right. I think it probably isn't, but..."

I'm certain it isn't. Women talk in much earthier terms.

"I don't know," considers keyboardist Candida. "I think women want the romantic thing more than men do. But that doesn't mean they get it. I mean, yes, women talking about men can be really... joky."

"Men talk about women on a superficial level," says Steve. "They don't say: but does she love you?"

"There's all this laddishness, which is nonsense," says Russell. "And lads know it's nonsense but it's fun, like talking about cars and football."

Candida tells a story.

"My cousin was showing me round her house last night, and there's a boy living there, and on his wall he had five pictures of cars. I've never seen that before. No pictures of women or anything. Just cars."

"I always know when my girlfriend and her friend are talking about men in the kitchen," says Russell. "You hear the noise of geese cackling."

"A lot of men do think differently to before," reflects Candida. "That comedienne Jo Brand, she's all right, but she can be just too nasty to men sometimes, I think. It's just as bad as some awful big fat boozy men going on about women. Which you don't get any more on telly. But you do get a lot of women on telly being horrible about men."

"It just sets up a 'versus' situation again, doesn't it?" says Jarvis. "You're either on one side or the other. Still. It wouldn't do for us all to be the same, would it?"

"Good God no!" we all chime.

Pulp recently finished recording what they regard as their "first album proper" with producer to the stars Ed Buller.

"For the entirety of the Eighties we had to have a whip-round to spend 15 hours in the back of a cold transit van to play to 12 people", chuckles Russell. "Don't let anyone romanticise it, it's a load of rubbish, best off out of it."

"You'd get up in the morning," remembers drummer Nick, "feeling like you'd been shat out of a horse. Or something."

Jarvis surprises me by claiming The Velvet Underground are a bigger influence on him than Barry White, and he never records while naked.

"It's usually me, but not me as I would go down to the shops. But still me."

Pulp are enjoying their long overdue lift-off.

"It's a bit sad if you get too blasé about things; cynicism cuts down your opportunities. It's the same with sex, of course. I mean you have to have a certain degree of excitement just to... get it on."

Bang a gong. Let's.

[hekateinhell]

20 Questions for Fic Writers! ✨

tagged by @monstersinthecosmos thanks babe! ♥️

1. How many works do you have on A03? 32 public, 2 anon, 1 orphaned (that I regret, don't do it!)

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 125,475!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Vampire Chronicles!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Shake The Disease, Our House, The Hand That Feeds, Play The King

5. Do you respond to comments? YES. I used to be so good at replying right away and now it's more like 2-3 times a year where I'll sit down and do them in bulk. Part of is I feel really nervous and EXPOSED when I post something and I kind of feel shy, and part of is I want to make sure I'm taking the time to reply thoughtfully because I want to put as much energy into my response as I'm getting from all your lovely, thoughtful comments! 💖 But I appreciate every single one—comments keep me going! I like to say "write for yourself" and I stand by that LOL I do write for myself first and foremost, but I share because I crave the feeling of being part of the community!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Make An Exception lmao. It's a short lil' canon divergent thing but it's basically Armand cashing in a favor with Lestat and asking him to "take care" of Daniel the way Armand once "took care" of Nicki. Either that or A Rusted Essence actually, I can't decide! I think the first one is angstier and the second one is more hopeless.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Any of my PWPs?

8. Do you get hate on fics? In the beginning I would get a couple hate comments here and there because the only fics I wrote at the time were L/A and I guess that bothered people! Lol it was a different vibe back then (only two years ago but it was weird, I'm so glad that's a thing of the past woof!). Oh, and I really pissed off a couple puritians making Lestat fifteen years old in my mermaid fic. 🫣

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 9/10 times my fics will be smut! I've written both guy-on-guy and girl-on-girl smut, and I find there's differences to each outside of... you know LOL the obvious! I always try to focus on the psychology behind the kinks and how things build and escalate throughout the narrative. It's much more important to me why they're doing what they're doing and how they connect through doing that, but if I can push the envelope of depravity just a bit too then I'm very happy!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Nope, no crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not a full fic.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No! I think I would like to one day but it would very much depend on the person and the story.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Lestat/Armand! But I very much love Armand/Louis and Armand/Daniel too, and of course poly combos are always fun and I do write and read a decent mix of all the above!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? One of the anon fics. I think iykyk. Sorry, guys.

16. What are your writing strengths? I get the most compliments on my characterization, dialogue, and smut!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm also trying to get better with drawing out my fics and creating a sense of slow burn, but I have no patience and I just have to get into the smut or at least reference it somewhere within the first 2k. So I'll work on that. One day. And I can't wait to write a proper 50k EVENTUALLY. Oh, and pacing! I feel like I really struggle with pacing.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Lord help me, I do this when I write from Lestat's POV, which I do often. Usually it's just endearments or a phrase but... yeah. Absolutely this is not how bilingual people talk lmao but when it's vampire fic specifically I think it's just corny enough to be Ricey, if you get my drift!

19. First fandom you wrote for? VC! My two year ficiversary was in March! 

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? I'm so bad at this question because I've noticed it tends to be the latest big thing I've been working on! So right now that's Drop Dead Gorgeous, a genderswapped L/A human AU! It's the first thing I wrote since I've been exploring my sexuality and it was really interesting from a creative perspective to get into the headspace of a woman obsessively attracted to another woman, and honestly it didn't take a lot for me to get there! It was super fun and horny and I really enjoyed writing it and I can't wait to start working on the next chapter!

tagging but no pressure! @rainbowcarousels @0junemeatcleaver0 @butchybats @aunteat @leslutdepointedulac @cinnamonclove @nothing-but-paisley ♥️