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#I think that's a way in which he's really valuable for her
hephaestuscrew · 9 months
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I posted recently about how, when Minkowski tries to send Eiffel back to Earth on the Sol in the finale, she doesn't directly express her more personal emotional reasons for this decision (see this post for more detail). But the contrast to that is how Eiffel only gives personal reasons when pleading against her decision.
As he's desperately telling Minkowski not to send him back, Eiffel doesn't say that he wants to help fight against Cutter's plan (although I'm sure it's on his mind). He doesn't try to convince her that he can make an important contribution to that fight. He doesn't attempt to argue the importance of having as many people as possible trying to stop Pryce and Cutter.
Instead, he protests "Not without you!" when she says that he's going home. He tells her "I'm not leaving you behind!" In contrast to Minkowski saying that she wants "one of us... someone" to make it back, Eiffel doesn't shy away from addressing Minkowski directly. He says "you". It's not that he doesn't want to leave the Hephaestus or the crew behind in a vague general way; he makes it clear that he doesn't want to specifically leave Minkowski behind. His attempts to persuade Minkowski not to send him back are largely focused on his bond with her and his unwillingness to return to Earth without her (and the rest of the Hephaestus crew). Those are the most compelling reasons to him.
The only other argument he gives in trying to persuade Minkowski not to send him back is "you can't - you have no right!" This is less about his bond with Minkowski, and more about his own individual agency and his objection to Minkowski making this decision for him. But it's still ultimately a personal reason. None of Eiffel's voiced objections are about the big picture at all (unlike the explanation Minkowski gives to Hera, Lovelace and Jacobi afterwards for why she sent Eiffel back).
In that scene, both of them are acting from a personal emotional place of care for each other as individuals. But in terms of what they actually say, Eiffel expresses this kind of motivation much more directly than Minkowski. He admits to the specificity of it in a way Minkowski doesn't know how to. Eiffel appeals to Minkowski's personal individual motivations, which she hasn't really admitted to. His final plea is to call Minkowski by her first name for the first time.
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ethanhuntfemmefatale · 10 months
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thinking again about my beloved tracy thephiladelphiastory. what it means for a girl disillusioned by her father to say 'the right time to decide on someone is never.'
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fingertipsmp3 · 5 months
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Need someone to make a “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” meme but with old school runescape
#GOD it was such a ride#my first ever account got hacked by someone who was doing that ‘runescape censors your password even if you type it backwards’ scam lol#another time i got scammed in a trade#someone pretended they were going to give me this whole set of armour in exchange for some gems i had#then took them back at the last second so i lost my gems#it was just uncut emeralds but i was really upset about it#i hadn’t figured out what to do with them yet so i thought they were valuable#some people there were SUPER nice though#i remember cutting down some trees on a new account; trying to get my woodcutting skill up#and a level 3 person with the default avatar walked up and started cutting down a yew tree. i & everyone else around was shook#someone said like ‘yo are you a bot or an alt or something’ and he said ‘oh i just don’t train combat. i don’t find it interesting’#he had like level 70 in woodcutting and a lot of others but never did combat#i also befriended somebody who was way higher level than me just randomly and we used to talk whenever we were both online lol#i complimented her ‘socks’ (actually boots) and she straight up showed me the dungeon you can go through to get them#which was awesome#and then when the grand exchange opened i lost like a weekend of my life#i was always getting nerfed by random events as well. that was the other thing#i really miss it sometimes. i don’t miss how grindy it was though#i think that was why i liked to train combat. it felt like less of a grind because you could break it up by picking up loot and organising#your loot. i used to always train prayer by burying the bones as well lol#on my best account i had probably level 20 prayer due to this#tl;dr you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me (2006 runescape)#personal
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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luxaofhesperides · 2 months
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the beginning - danny
0.
The Lazarus Pit brings Danny back.
The child who went into them, however, is gone forever.
Danyal al Ghul is the soul who should reside in this body. Danyal has a life still to live and Danny died ages ago, old and surrounded by loved ones, ready to spend the rest of his forever in the Infinite Realms.
Something's gone terrible wrong, he thinks rather wryly, squinting through the cold green water that surrounds him. An ache echoes through his body and he brings a hand—small, a child's hand that shouldn't belong to him— to his stomach, where he can feel a large wound slowly pull itself together.
Did I get stabbed?
He means to continue the thought, but a sharp pain hits his head, making him curl up. He gasps and air bursts from his lungs, water rushing to fill in the empty space. Danny chokes, panicking, as memories slide into place, the lives of Danyal al Ghul and Danny Fenton fighting for dominance in his head. His lungs burn, throat working futilely to push water out, but there's nothing to be done.
Danny is a child again, and just like last time, he dies young.
1. So.
Assassins.
Danny honestly can't tell if this is a step up or a step down from mad scientist parents. On the one hand: he knows they loved him, as clumsy as it was, even though they loved their work more. On the other hand: assassin cult sounds like something out of a fairy tale, and while cool, is definitely not safe for kids.
And Danny, somehow, is a child again.
This really wasn't what he expected when he woke up on the sandy bottom of the pit. He's in ghost form, which is an unpleasant shock, but at least its familiar.
He is also, if his memory as Danyal serves him correctly, nine years old.
Kinda sucks that he died so young this time round. Didn't even make it to the double digits before he was taken out of the running.
He can't remember what it was like being so small in his last life. He can't imagine how anyone would look at a child and run them through with a sword. It's a cruel world he's woken up in. It's made worse by the fact that he's alone.
At least being down here without needing to breathe is giving him valuable time to think.
Danny has lived a full life already. He didn't really need or want another one, content to be a full ghost in the Infinite Realms. But going back isn't really an option, now that he's in a new body. The kid he could have been deserves to live fully, and the least Danny can do is live that life for them.
It'll be hard, but Danny's sure he can manage a decent life for himself.
Being presumed dead will make his escape from the assassins easier, though he'll miss getting the chance to meet his new mother; assassin as she is, Danyal knows her not by her blades but by her soft lullabies and jasmine-scented hair. The loss of her child must be hurting her deeply, but it's necessary. If Danny wants any semblance of a normal life, he has to leave her behind.
Besides, he's seen enough death. He doesn't want to ever be the cause of it.
So, he needs a plan for this new life.
Step one: get out of dodge.
The rest he'll figure out on the way.
2.
Turns out assassins weren't the most shocking thing in this new life.
No, that honor goes to superheroes.
Genuine, honest to God superheroes! With powers and everything!
To think that Danny once called himself a superhero. Ha! As if! He's nothing compared to the likes of Superman or the Flash or even Green Lantern. They're in another league. Literally. They're part of the Justice League, which has a whole slew of other heroes, and Danny is possibly their biggest fan.
Not like that's weird; most people in this world are huge fans of superheroes. Makes sense, since they're the ones who rely on their protection the most.
It does suck to know that his background belongs to that of a villain. Assassins aren't known for saving people, after all.
Part of him contemplates becoming a hero again, taking up the role of Phantom and joining the ranks of Superman. But he's had many years to come to terms with the loss of his teenage years and the bitterness that came with it. That experience, that life once lived, helps him decide each time that being a civilian is the gift this life owes him.
At thirteen, Danny lives in a foster home with six other kids. He's the oldest and has his hands full taking care of everyone else while their foster parents work three jobs between them to keep them all afloat.
When his younger siblings play superheroes, he gladly takes the role of the villain, swooping in with a blanket to kidnap away an innocent bystander that has to be rescued. He falls over dramatically at the end of each fight and praises his siblings' strength and teamwork, making them puff up with pride.
It's all fun and games so long as it only stays fun and games.
Superpowers are cool and all, but his came at the cost of his life, his health, his future. He knows, better than anyone, the price of being a hero. He knows that even Superman carries heavy losses on his shoulders, struggles under burdens no one can see.
He's lucky that the small town he ended up in—Luray, Virginia—has no heroes or villains. Too small a place to be on anyone's radar, apparently.
His classmates often complain about how they wish they could live in a big city where there's more to do, more to see, superheroes flying through the streets to protect them.
Danny is happy where he is. It's quiet, and small, and nothing like what he's used to, but it's safe.
That's all he really wants.
3.
Here's something that stays the same no matter what world he's in: Danny is a magnet for trouble.
If the trouble stopped at bullies, everything would have been fine. Danny could handle Dash, and he could handle Justin just as easily.
But the universe loves to escalate with Danny, specifically, which is why Danny had to reveal his powers when some villain-wannabe school shooter attacked his high school.
And to think he felt bad for Jackson when he didn't make it onto the track team.
Luray does not have a meta population. They're too small to have much of a population at all, and much of it is white which made him, half-Iranian, stand out even before he threw out a barrier of ice to protect his classmates a second before the gunfire began.
"Danny?!" his seatmate, Clarrissa, cries out in alarm.
"Everyone get out the window and run for it!" he orders, "I hold him back as much as I can!"
"You can't stay here!"
"Don't worry," Danny says, offering her a tight smile. "He couldn't kill me even if he tried. Now go!"
His classmates hadn't wasted any more time, sending him shocked looks as they escaped the classroom. A glimpse of his reflection in the window revealed glowing green eyes and blue mist wafting out of his mouth.
Looks like his time in Luray is up. He hopes his foster siblings won't be too mad at him for running away.
The gunfire stops, and Danny takes his chance to leap through his ice, intangible, and tackle Jackson, easily knocking the gun away from him.
"Monster!" Jackson spits at him, and Danny laughs.
"Bold of you to say that. I'm not to one trying to kill people."
He doesn't want to hear anything else that comes out of Jackson's mouth, so he knocks the guy out with a solid hit to a pressure point on his neck. Hopefully that'll keep him down long enough for the cops to get him.
Danny stands and means to leave, but something hits the back of his head hard and he's out before he realizes what's happened.
When he wakes up, he's strapped down to a table in what is undeniably a lab, and sighs.
At least he made it to sixteen before he went into another lab. Maybe in his next life he might even get all the way up to twenty before he's pulled back down here.
4. Though he has all his powers and a ghost form, that doesn't mean he is a ghost in this life.
No, he's fully a meta, which means meta-suppressing cuffs work on him.
It's not exactly a discovery he was hoping to have while locked up in a lab, but it's what he's got, so he has to roll with it. The cuffs are heavy on his wrists and around his throat, keeping him from escaping as a group of people in masks and lab coats bustle around, ignoring him.
His head is still foggy, though likely more from the drugs than the hit he took to his head.
He doesn't bothering talking to any of them; they don't see him as human, and Danny's dealt with enough of that in his past life.
Mad scientists love to talk though, so he still hears the gist of their plans: recreating the meta gene for normal people, making a profit from selling powers, getting rich and famous from their accomplishments. They had been using Jackson to get corpses for human testing, but they got Danny instead — someone they can harvest bio material for, a much better find than a couple dead kids.
If he had the energy to rage, Danny would have killed everyone in the room already. They planned to kill his classmates just for test subjects.
He doesn't want to be an assassin, but he'd gladly lean into those old lessons to make sure they never hurt anyone again.
But the cuffs and drugs do a good job of keeping him docile, barely able to think, as they transport him around to different locations and cut him open.
He's not sure how long it's been when they ease up on the drugs a bit. It still takes time for his body to work through everything, and he comes too with a throat that's dry and a stomach that hasn't had anything in it for quite some time.
The first thing Danny does when they start asking him questions is throw up on them.
If they wanted cooperation, they should have treated him better. This is fully on them.
It makes for a convincing argument for food and water and a bathroom break, at least, so he gets what he demands and takes care of his human body under the cold gazes of three scientists.
"You guys suck," he says conversationally. "Keeping test subjects alive is like basic knowledge. No wonder y'all suck at your jobs."
"Your comments aren't needed," one of the scientists says primly. "Get up. We need to study how using your powers affects your body."
They hook a bunch of different things onto him, then lock him in a glass cage and use the cuff around his throat to send jolts of electricity through him when he doesn't do anything. He throws a chunk of ice at them, watching as it breaks apart into small pieces when it hits the glass. The scientists scribble in their notepads, and when they look at him again, he flips them off.
He gets shocked again, but it's worth it.
The process repeats for another few hours, then he's pulled out of the cage, gets an IV stuck in his arm, and drops off into drugged oblivion before he has time to start throwing hands.
5.
It must have been months. Danny's not sure; it's hard to keep track of time when locked in isolation.
He knows he's fed at least once a day. He's been getting a tray of bland food at random times, but he's counted over 50 trays sliding through the little slot on the bottom of his cell door.
Turns out insulting scientists and their procedures is a bad idea, especially when he has the language to really bruise their egos.
So.
Isolation sucks.
But at least they don't drug him anymore!
The cuffs do their job of keeping him in place, and if he didn't have memories of another life to keep him company, he definitely would have lost his mind long ago.
There's other people in here, other metas. He's heard them screaming and begging for mercy. He's heard them go chillingly quiet. He wonders why there are so many superheroes in this world when not a single one has come to save them.
Surely at least one would notice metas disappearing and would investigate?
But no.
No one ever comes to save them.
So Danny needs to figure out a way past the cuffs, and then he can be Phantom again long enough to free the other metas and make every scientist involve pay for their crimes.
He just needs to wait.
He just needs—
6.
When Danny wakes up, the alarms are ringing. It makes his head pound, throbbing with each piercing sound.
He stumbles up, using the wall to keep his balance, and freezes when he sees that the door to his cell is open.
…Huh.
The hallway is bathed in red light when he steps out. No one's around. He wanders around the facility, searching for answers and only finds more questions.
There are other cells, also empty. Certain rooms have blood splattered across the walls and the floor, but no bodies. Labs are destroyed, broken glass on the floor. But every room is empty.
He wanders until he finds what must be a security room. There's a strange device dangling off a keychain on a rack, and Danny eyes it curiously. He runs his fingers around the cuff on his throat, feels the little depression where the collar comes together, and takes the rounded device. If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.
But if it does work…
The cuff pops open easily, as if it hasn't been his greatest foe these past few months.
All at once, his strength returns to him. He has forgotten what it was like to breathe easily, to feel his powers come to his call so easily, to be reassured that he can take care of himself.
It's almost like coming back to life.
He transforms, settling back into his ghost form with relief, and flies through the facility in search of any other metas that may need help. He finds no one, but he does catch a glimpse of the outside.
The sky is so blue it almost hurts to look at. Part of the facility has been blown apart; rubble surrounds the place and the surrounding forest has been flattened. It looks as though a fight has moved through the area.
Maybe a superhero did come to save them? Rude of them to leave only Danny, though.
He continues his search, poking his head into different rooms and hallways. He finds a staircase going down and follows it into the basement. More labs greet him, and the glow of computers and strange vials of liquid leave him unsettled.
There's a green glow coming around the corner than reminds him of the Lazarus Pit he flew out of, once upon a time many years ago, and that's what draws him forward.
Tucked away in that familiar glow is a small body, floating in a tube of liquid. There's an oxygen mask attached to her face, but that doesn't stop Danny from recognizing her.
"Ellie?"
7.
Just like in one life, Danny is cloned. The difference is that this time, there's no reason for it, no insane godfather trying to recreate a version of him that will choose him.
No, this time it's from a group of scientists who should have known better, who decided to mess around with his genes, and brought his once little sister now daughter into such a cruel, dangerous world.
Danny barely remembers breaking the glass to get her out of there. He doesn't know where he found the coat to bundle her up in, flying out of the facility as fast as he could. He feels sick, knowing it's his fault that she's here now, forced into a painful, terrifying existence because he wasn't strong enough to save himself.
He's a runaway meta victim of mad science. He can't take care of her.
"I'm sorry, Ellie," he whispers to her, pressing a kiss against her head. "I'm so sorry."
She small in his arms. She barely weighs anything.
Danny blinks back tears and tries to find some place he can stop and rest, somewhere safe he can gather his thoughts and figure out his next steps.
This isn't like when he first woke up in this world, with both sets of memories.
This is Ellie.
She deserves more than just a wish and a half-baked plan for a better life.
She deserves a family that wants her, that can care for her, that can protect her. She deserves to grow up normally and not worry about destabalizing or being a replacement for him or being hunted down.
She deserves one life to be a kid and grow up safe and be whoever she wants to be.
Danny will never be able to give her that.
But maybe he can give her to someone who can.
8.
Danyal grew up with an assassin mother and a cruel grandfather who expected far too much from a child. He was taught to kill and be more weapon than child. He was taught the world was something for him to take, to protect, to water with blood.
Danyal was meant to be the next Demon Head, and the next Bat.
Danny knows he can't go to his mother. If they're both lucky, he will never have to see her again. Knowing his luck, he's already planning explanations for why he never went back to her.
Danny's father, on the other hand…
It didn't take much to put the pieces together. The notorious Bat is Batman, Gotham's vigilante and one of the founders of the Justice League. While a child would have been left confused by the many comments his mother made about his father, it was simple enough for Danny to line them up with what he learned about the heroes of this world and realize, oh, that's my dad.
It takes a few weeks of research, using public libraries with Ellie tucked securely in a wrap to his chest, but he's able to learn more about Batman.
The most important thing being that he has kids.
Of course, none of this is officially acknowledged, but everyone knows that the Robins are his kids. Current Robin, especially, likes to remind people that he's 'the son of Batman'.
Okay. Cool.
Danny has siblings.
Awesome.
He's… not looking forward to those conversations.
At least it means more people to look after Ellie. Assuming they take her in, which Danny's really hoping for.
But it's the best he can do, so Danny sets course for Gotham and hopes that just this once, everything will work out.
9.
Meeting the Bats of Gotham is a lot harder than he expected.
A week in the city and he's barely caught more than a glimpse of them. He can't dedicate a lot of time to tracking them down either, needing to break into grocery stores to get food for him and Ellie.
She's so quiet as a baby, and it terrifies him. She's only cried twice the entire time he's had her, and Danny spends every day begging her to hold on.
Time during the day is spent catching naps and researching common vigilante spotting areas in Gotham. He's got a map of Gotham taken from a library and has been steadily marking it up, putting stars in the best places to find a Bat. There are places all over the city, and Danny has no idea how to know which ones are the best.
The only thing he can do is wait at a different rooftop each night, clinging to Ellie, wondering if this is the last night he has with her.
On the ninth night, someone finally arrives.
"Step away from the edge," a voice demands.
Danny turns to see Robin approaching, hands held out as if to catch him. He's bigger than Danny was expecting. Which makes sense; most of the stories Danny got online are from when Robin was a kid, and it's been a few years since then. He must be a teenager now. Older, but still young.
"Robin," he manages to say, his throat tightening. It feels almost like there's a noose around it. It feels like that meta-suppressing cuff has clicked back into place, leaving him helpless.
"Step away from the edge," Robin repeats. "There is no need for this to be your last resort."
"But it is," Danny whispers.
Robin darts forward and wraps a hand around Danny's wrist, yanking him towards the center of the roof. "Why on Earth would you come up here? Surely you must have known that someone would stop you."
"Batman," he gets out. "I need to speak to Batman."
"What for?"
"I'm… I was told, once, that I'm his son."
10. Robin stares at him for a long moment.
Then he takes off his mask.
Danny knows those eyes: he sees them every time he looks in a mirror.
"Danyal," Robin breathes. "You died before I was born."
"I did. Are you…?"
"Mother told me about you."
So he has a little brother. If only he hadn't left first chance he got, he could have known his little brother, gotten away from that place before it hurt him too. Danny has made many mistakes since he arrived in this world. Missing a little brother is perhaps the worst of them.
"Mother…" Danny repeats. "She put me in the Lazarus Pit. I remember that. She didn't want me to die."
"I was born to replace you."
Just like Ellie.
So many mistakes repeating. He's never felt like more of a failure.
"Batman. Our father. He treats you well? You are safe with him?"
Robins brows furrow, but he nods, which is enough for Danny. "Yes. Of course. Isn't that why you're here now?"
"I'm not asking for me." Danny carefully, gently, unwraps Ellie. "I'm asking for her. Please, take care of her. She deserves more than I can give her. Ellie… she'd be your niece."
Robin's eyes are wide. He's frozen until Danny pushes Ellie against his chest, forcing him to lift his arms to hold her.
"Wait, what about—?"
When Robin looks up, Danny's already gone.
It's for the best.
(masterpost for all parts)
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fondcrimes · 4 months
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the "labru chapter" is the kabru chapter
this is a dungeon meshi love manifesto, but not in the way you think. sorry not sorry for the labrubait
what makes chapter 76 so amazing is kabru’s desperation has little to do with laios specifically. it’s not just about kabru being obsessed with laios and making sure he doesn't cause tragedy, either. I think this chapter emphasizes kabru's struggle with the concept of love and companionship. the point of this chapter is that every critical part of kabru collides at once and renders him useless.
(disclaimer: this post includes a lot of projection/speculation but it's to understand kabru's character arc i promise. for clearer analysis and examination of how kabru's ideologies are constructed, check out this really great post)
kabru is a lone visionary
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in ch 76, kabru’s threatened by lycion exposing his true intentions to laios not only bc he wants to prevent laios from joining marcille in her destruction, but also bc laios is also from a short-lived race and kabru needs an ally in his power struggle against elves (esp when the chips are down)
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but has kabru really accepted his need for allies in his plight? kabru has spent his adult life suppressing a human urge to connect meaningfully with others. he even keeps rinsha et al. at arm's length in the name of achieving his masculine hero complex/survivor's guilt goals. he's already quite disillusioned bc most adventurers don't have the same goal as he does. so he uses people and gets on their good side for systematic support. he’s well-intentioned and takes care of his party. but the idea that an ally could also protect HIM and make HIM feel safe as well doesn’t really register with him until later on in the narrative bc camaraderie and allyship, at its core, is about acknowledging intimacy. kabru struggles with intimacy sub-textually (his self-neglect and social insincerity) even though he knows how to simulate it to gain others' trust.
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but he can’t crack laios, he can’t get him to listen. for lack of a better word, kabru is spoiled by the fruits of his superb perception and emotional intelligence. he also doesn’t cope well with failure (bc his goal is too valuable to ~not~ devote himself to) he puts too much value in conquering laios and when he thinks he's failed, he basically crashes out. the real problem is he still doesn’t understand his true feelings--not feelings for laios, but the root of his desire. the root of his goals and the endless search for companionship.
kabru is a strategic historian
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at his core, kabru is a storyteller. he tells himself a variety of stories about his trauma and his goals, which serve as motivation and to some extent, self-protection (as shown in his conversation w mithrun). he deeply understands the role of storytelling in regards to the construction of history and drastic shifts in power.
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as an utayan, he understands that the tragedy that overcame his people was not random, but resulted from elven negligence of a disenfranchised people. it is imperative for kabru to cement himself as a voice for otherwise voiceless people. in his story, he has no choice but to handle the hero, if not become the hero himself.
kabru even has a story about his pursuit of laios, mainly that laios is currently the most capable person of defeating the mage and that he must do whatever it takes to ensure laios doesn’t fuck it up. his instincts are right, sure, but at first, he places special value in laios’ capabilities that almost seems unearned… like yes he’s studied the island adventurers with frightening expertise, so it makes sense he would have a good idea about who is the most equipped to succeed. but his early suspicions of the toudens seems to complicate my perception of his knowledge by adding emotional depth and a layer of tinhattery so to speak.
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canonically, kabru has been rebuffed by laios multiple times (which is so... lolll) when he's talking with his party, kabru hides behind the excuse of dungeon but he’s been trying to get his attention this whole time. to me it reads like he's got a bruised ego from being ignored and is being a hater about it (so real lol). it's funny bc kabru is usually great at taking shit from others (esp elves) if it means nobody suspects/interrogates his true intentions and he can keep the peace. so why does laios tick him off so bad? now we have to get into the psychoanalysis of it all!
kabru is a cynic
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first and foremost, kabru’s cynical philosophy about humans is challenged by the touden mission. but plenty of people don’t care about the impact of their actions, so why does kabru obsess over the toudens at the start? I figured kui changed gears with kabru's characterization following his introduction, but I want to try to connect it to kabru's unresolved survivor's guilt. kabru is the sole survivor of a catastrophe caused by negligence and oversight. he criticizes the negative impact of the toudens' generosity and naïveté and confirms his cynical worldview (the road to hell is paved with best intentions), but still maintains a level-headed perspective. on the other hand, kabru's interactions with laios are tinged with irrational jealousy/resentment/desperation, even prior to kabru learning laios' character/intentions as an adventurer. I cannot emphasize enough that I am employing a neutral definition of jealousy here--it seems kabru is jealous of the freedom to not care the way laios does not care about the fate of the island. this isn't to say laios doesn't care about humans, he does, but he seems so singleminded compared to kabru esp in ch 76. kabru sees laios going to the literal end of the world to save his sister. laios gets to be human selfishly, kind-natured but ultimately self-prioritizing.
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kabru correctly assesses motives (besides his own maybe). falin said she’d do anything to protect laios and marcille. laios has been socially rejected by people his whole life, and at first, he only cares about his sister and monsters. kabru has survived horror but only by accident… he doesn't agree with their pov and more importantly, it doesn’t exactly compute with him. the toudens are wholly unaware of their impact, which does not sit well with kabru at all, who understands the impact of negligence better than anyone else, esp how it ends up harming the less fortunate and extremely marginalized in society. it's reminiscent of the age-old trolley problem. while kabru has been the victim of senseless pain, I suspect kabru can’t yet make sense of senseless love. he gets to look down at their cause and call it selfish because it directly contradicts his lived experience.
kabru is an ethicist with a heroic streak
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it's easy to glean that kabru wants to be the hero utaya should’ve had. while he's hardcore and intense, but not paranoid enough to do something rash. he uses violence as a means of achieving peace. he's self-aware enough to know his skill limits, which seems rational at a glance but the pressure he puts on himself suggests he views himself as inadequate until he achieves his goal. the races of humans are so split up and he sees that this is a matter of power first and foremost.
with the canaries, kabru submits to political pageantry to make a separate case for innocent people. senseless tragedy is unforgivable, but so is the "too little too late" reality of the canary system. he takes on the impossible task of rallying people together to save the dungeon. one read is that he's saving his childhood self from trauma perhaps by saving those like him… he's wishing someone did something before it got bad, wondering why nobody intervened when they had every opportunity to step in. it’s deeper than a sense of duty or fairness, this is about betrayal and retribution.
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throughout his life, kabru struggles with the material inequity and limits of love. the human population is fundamentally segmented into a hierarchy due to lifespans and access to power/resources. his mother was the only one who loved him in utaya and she was ostracized because of his appearance and then she was killed due to senseless tragedy. his frustration with the elves encapsulates this idea perfectly, because he is aware of of the limits of their empathy as a long-lived race and adjusts his strategy and rhetoric accordingly. I think milsiril’s love for kabru is genuine, but still infantilizing and smothering due to the racial imbalance. this continues to inform his politics, as he views their perception of short-lived races with contempt. the worst offense is that their bigotry is nonsensical, meaning their hearts cannot be reasoned with.
dungeon meshi is a story about power and politics, yes, but genuine love and acceptance are the catalysts of change and equality. the "invisible gulf" that marcille is referring to is the inability to view other races with love and care. such is the essence of camaraderie. kabru's backstory, family history, and beliefs/motivations raise two important questions for me: who gets to be loved enough to survive, and then to thrive?
kabru is a monster
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the emphasis on distinguishing between humans and monsters is quite interesting too. of all sentient beings, who qualifies as worthy of "human" treatment? who deserves empathy and acceptance? kabru seeks these answers to fix the world, but also to justify his place in it.
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kabru's lack of self-worth is evident here, but what’s more interesting is he knows many humans suffer worse fates than some monsters. the dehumanization/neglect of fellow humans does not compute, if the premise is humans are superior to demi-humans/non-humans because mutual empathy and understanding. he clings to the superiority of humanity as an appeal to ethos to those in power despite what he might actually believe about himself. to kabru, the true injustice is that humans won’t even save “inferior” humans despite being the same. his unclear heritage manifests as guilt, as he feels directly responsible for his mother's suffering because he is monstrous. then here comes laios, a human who somehow can find it in himself to love monsters.
kabru doesn’t want laios to love him, per se, but laios’ love for monsters and for falin reveals life-altering possibilities for kabru: there is a world where someone could love him even if he were a monster. there is a world where somebody would go to extreme measures just to save him. kabru does not know the extent of laios' trauma but recognizes a sort of kindred spirit but inverse. taking off the ship goggles here--it has less to do with laios specifically, and more to do with what his beliefs/abilities represent for the trajectory of the world (because kabru studies how beliefs/abilities manifest into material reality, after all)
kabru is seeking the power of love
in a different story, kabru would be laios’ archnemesis. they would have a disastrous battle of opposing worldviews in their struggle for dominion. kabru has every right to want to take laios out bc while his affinity for monsters is sympathetic and even charming, it is still a natural threat… kabru has the true hero pathology. he believes he only deserves to live if he can save people for a variety of reasons/traumas. he should do whatever it takes to exterminate laios. but the expectation is subverted in chapter 76 bc we see kabru’s curiosity and ongoing quest for understanding win over his worst fears.
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I feel like I’ve been projecting a lot but bear with me... a huge part of kabru’s character is him trying to figure out how to matter to people, or figuring out why people matter to others in general. it’s not to say he doesn’t matter to his friends or milsiril, but why else would he bother with all the manipulative people-pleasing? it would be less meaningful if he had ulterior motives like greed or power, but he plays into people's expectations/desires for a disastrously noble cause. he’s still actively living in his trauma as a deeply traumatized adult. it’s pure serendipity that laios can send him right back to his past and then pull him right out again. I don't think it's crazy to say kabru (correctly) projects a lot of shit on laios bc he doesn’t know how to deal with those injustices and barriers between people himself.
this is also why I believe kabru's beef with laios is as personal as it is strategic. we have to consider the trajectories of their character arcs (their big missions, respectively) in relation to one another as foils. if laios' love for falin can move mountains and do impossible things, kabru is subconsciously drawn to the magnitude of that love like a magnet. his response to cognitive dissonance is quite remarkable as well. at the root of his unbelievable capacity for understanding and curiosity is the deep wound of being unloved and unprotected. kabru does not avoid or run away from his fears, he quite literally keeps running toward them and follows it down to hell. he wants to identify the true source of his deepest wound.
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to me, this omake connects his childhood curiosity to his search for love, almost as to ask “is there enough room for me to be loved?" and the same can be said for marcille's character arc/ backstory. her biracial heritage has caused her great existential pain and social isolation.
in dungeon meshi, the issues of protection and justice continue to be interpreted through love. if kabru were to go back in time and save utaya, he would’ve needed incomprehensible magic, a supernatural power to save himself, his mother, his hometown. in contrast, laios' mission to save falin is just one manifestation of the surreality of love, all of the impossibilities it permits. the touden party wade through invisible gulfs to save falin, but also each other. kabru doesn’t hate their story, he just can’t fathom it yet.
kabru is a skilled strategist and communicator. and does not listen to his heart or body until he’s absolutely forced to do it. he has insane goals and expectations for himself and will go to great measures for those goals. as cerebral and cold as he might seem, it’s critical to understand that his character arc is about love too. in my opinion, it’s almost as if he’s trying to change his reality in hopes of finding love. my favorite thing about kabru is that he has all the narrative makings of the perfect misunderstood villain who self-destructs at the end of the story. but kabru is too smart for that, too focused on the big-picture impacts and the historical trajectory of the cause. instead, kabru finds the wherewithal to stand down once he understands that laios is capable of loving humanity like he does, or that he could help him see the value in humanity at all.
to love is to understand, and then to surrender.
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algae-tm · 3 months
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PEOPLE, PLACES, THINGS
Max Verstappen x anthropologist! Reader
Author’s note : this smau has a special place in my heart, if you haven’t noticed I’m not Caucasian, but was born and raised in Nigeria and a lot of my university life has been centred around studies of the black diaspora. My masters research is on homosexuality and Afro-syncretic religions, so have been trying to figure out how to incorporate it so thought I’d go full send and thus this was borne.
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peopleplacesthings just posted
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peopleplacesthings: I spent three years (give or take) with the people of the Bahia state in Brasil, researching the afro-syncretic religion of Candomblé. My research paper on the gender roles within Candomblé (how men express masculinity, and the role of women as spiritual leaders) will be published online where everyone will be able to access it. Can’t wait to see where the world takes me next!! 🌎🇧🇷
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yourbsfuser: y/n baby I love you and your big brain, but please take a sabbatical 😭. stay in the UK for a while.
— peopleplacesthings: what’s in it for me? 🤨
— yourbsfuser: seeing your family and friends???
— peopleplacesthings: sorry gotta blast, the world is waiting 🏃🏿‍♀️
user10: your masters research on the linguistic appropriation of AAVE was vital for me completing my dissertation! Thank you so much
— peopleplacesthings: passing down knowledge is the key to preserving culture! I love when I get comments like this, well done my love.
lewishamilton: so you’re free now?
— peopleplacesthings: until my next adventure
— lewishamilton: good to know
— user10: not SIR LEWIS HAMILTON in my old TA’s comment section
— user7: IK 😭 she was a guest lecturer at my uni like one month ago! Really my two worlds colliding 😭😭
— user8: how do they know eachother???
— user9: I’m guessing they must have met one of the times Lewis was in Brazil??
— peopleplacesthings: he is my cousin! he’s much older and way less attractive than me so that’s probs why you couldn’t see the family resemblance🙂🙂
yoursisteruser: 2 back to back research papers… you could use a break from work
— peopleplacesthings: it’s not work if you love what you do 🤗🤗
— user17: 2 research papers??? How old is she?
— user19: she’s actually done 3! One for her masters which was only 15,000 words and then 2 more, her 2nd was for her PhD and she’s published her last two as books. She’s 28 if I’m not mistaken. I’m not a stalker just obsessed with her work!
— user17: oh so she’s SMART smart
— user19: bro she’s DOCTORATE OF ANTHROPOLOGY smart
MESSAGES
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peopleplacesthings: I can check getting papped reading in the park off my bucket list… maybe I should start a book club! Anyways everything is a learning opportunity so I am currently reading Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga. Don’t be so surprised that I read fiction! Nervous Conditions is a valuable case study in cultural anthropology due to its rich exploration of themes related to post-colonial identity, gender, and cultural conflict. If you take my post-colonial anthropology module in September, this will definitely be on the further reading list. Come read with me! 📚 📚
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user1: are we sure this is the woman max is dating…
— user3: I was just wondering that, so out of left field 😭 😭
— user4: I mean what do they even have to talk about? She just lectures him all day?
lewishamilton: how can I take your class if I’m not enrolled in the university?? 🤨🤨
— peopleplacesthings: you can’t! Hope this helps
— user5: jeez she’s so rude…
— user9: who does she think she is????
— peopleplacesthings: Dr. Y/n Y/ln that’s who I know I am
user11: so is anthropology all she talks about, or does she have hobbies…
— peopleplacesthings: I happen to think my field of anthropology; the study of societies, people and culture, is quite interesting. But no I am a person I contain multitudes anthropology is not all I talk about.
user6: not y’all invalidating a woman with a literal doctorate just because she MIGHT be dating your fav… pls touch grass
— user13: that’s what I’m saying! If anything she’s WAY out of Max’s league, hasn’t he only ever read like 2 books?? (liked by danielricciardo)
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peopleplacesthings: We DTR’ed!!
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lewishamilton: DTR?
— peopleplacesthings: Define the Relationship apparently
— lewishamilton: my how the tables have turned, miss I don’t date drivers.
— peopleplacesthings: DR* I don’t date drivers. And what can I say my commitment issues are no match for Max Verstappen
danielricciardo: you’re welcome!
— user4: what could you possible have done
— danielricciardo: I told max to grow some balls that’s what! I’m the architect of this relationship
— peopleplacesthings: you and Lewis can fight over that title
maxverstappen1: WE DTR’ED!!!!
— peopleplacesthings: hell yeah we did!
maxverstappen1: I love you schat ❤️💙
— peopleplacesthings: 🥹 I love you too
you doofus
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maxverstappen1: Did it hurt when you fell from your culture’s dogmatic view of an afterlife?
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peopleplacesthings: I think that’s the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me
— maxverstappen1: there’s more where that came from
— peopleplacesthings: oh shucks not in public maxie
— danielricciardo: this is the weirdest foreplay I’ve ever witnessed
user14: how did a man that drives in circles manage to bag my anthro professor??
— user16: shouldn’t that be the other way round???
— user14: if you ever attended one of her lectures and saw her in action you would know the answer to that question is absolutely not (liked by maxverstappen1)
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@forevercaffeinated-lee
@callsignwidow
@a-beaverhausen
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@c0deincrazy
@dontworryaboutitokie 
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nnight-dances · 3 months
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BEAUTIFUL MONSTER
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PAIRING: yoon jeonghan x afab!reader
GENRE: angst, smut, fluff in that order of significance
TROPES: workplace romance, boss!jeonghan x associate!you, casual fwb situation but they're not friends they're coworkers, intense banter, nakamoto yuta makes a cameo, toxic relationship at some point but it gets better trust me.
"beautiful monster" because in private, jeonghan is nothing short of an angel to you – charming and devious, teasing but all in good faith, in faith that he was interested in you. but in public, he's monstrous with his cold shoulder, his indifference to you like you weren't in his bed every night, humming him to sleep.
PS: what are you doing with your life if you haven't listened to beautiful monster yet???? go listen to the gift from god called this man from jeonghan x wonwoo okay bye ily
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"what makes you think you can prance into my office all prettied up and not even say a hi to me?" 
you look up from the stack of paper you're holding, and innocently tilt your head. "sorry, boss," you accentuate the last syllable with a smile, "just trying to be as resourceful as i can be." 
"oh, come on," jeonghan swivels dangerously in his hefty desk chair, all just to show you the little ridiculous hint of a smirk on his lips. "you're not really mad about that?"
"about what, sir? i'm just doing justice to my position in my short time here, after all."
"you know, quoting things i said back at me isn't as effective of an attack as you think it is, y/n," he tells you, but you can tell he's a little worked up because he shifts a little in his seat. "cut the fucking attitude, princess, what's wrong?" 
you narrow your eyes at him, more so at his audacity to pull out the private nickname in your shared place of work in broad daylight. and on a wednesday no less. "nothing's wrong, mr. yoon. i'm just reflecting on your incredibly insightful speech at the meeting earlier. seems like i don't know you all that well."
"well, you do know me all that well, which is why deep down, you know that whatever i said it wasn't addressed to you." jeonghan stands up and you have to swallow the smug look that threatens to spill out. 
yoon jeonghan, the star employee at his company, didn't get out of his chair, not even to greet the most valuable client. yet here he was, walking to you, hand on your elbow, dangerously unprofessional. 
"must be really deep down because i don't think the man i know would be that cruel to our newest hire," you bite back, shaking his hold over you, "and perhaps it would've helped me interpret you better if you didn't address your grand speech to every low-level associate in the room."
"low-level–? y/n, you know that–"
you don't let him finish, sure he'd find a way to spin his words and get out of being held accountable for the shit he spewed two hours ago. well, you weren't gonna let him get his way, not this time. you bow politely, "good day, mr. yoon. let me know if i can assist you with any work-related matters." 
god, you could be vexing when you wanted to, jeonghan thought to himself watching you stride off in your unbelievably well-fitting pants. he does wonder how you manage to never show up to work covered in creases, what with all the running around you do, from his place to yours every morning. okay maybe every other morning, but it was impressive, the way your white shirts were always crisper than the morning coffee you handed him on your way to your desk, and the way he'd never managed to see your lipstick a smudge out of place in all the time he'd worked with you.
"where'd jenna go again?" you question out loud when you return to find the new hire out of her desk yet again. she'd been the reason jeonghan had burst into his impormptu but condescending talk and though he had some fair reason to speak the way he did, you didn't appreciate the hierarchical intimidation it encouraged. 
"um, i think she just took her fifth bathroom break of the day," muttered seulgi with a grimace. "every time she does that the number of files on my desk goes up."
"send 'em over, seulgi."
"what? no, you have more than enough on your plate–"
"my research and writing skills are what got me hired, so i might as well revisit my roots once in a while. plus, it's gonna take a while to replace jenna, if we're trying to find someone this late."
"all right then, i guess i'll bring these over to you then," seulgi says in an apologegtic tone as she plops a fresh set of files on your desk, which has managed to stay clear of any such physical copies of documents since last year when you convinced joshua to make the firm go paper-free.
well, mostly. except for monkey jobs like this one which usually went to inexperienced hires. but given the unfortunate situation you find yourself in, you have no choice but to ignore your strcitly digital policy to pull out your wooden pencil for the first time in a while.
it takes you long enough to get through half of the stack that jeonghan's done for the day and you haven't moved an inch. he pauses in front of your desk, taken aback at the sight of you reading through a physical file. and then he notices the empty desk down the line, one that should've held the redhead called jenna. 
"and since when did you start doing unpaid labor?"
you look up with a start and sigh when it's jeonghan. "good night, mr. yoon." 
"wow, that's cold. can't a superior worry about his precious protege's wellbeing? y/n, you're overqualified for this work so why don't you put it down and go home?"
your mouth twitches with a bitter comment you barely hold in. "i'm the best person for this job till we find someone else to do it. i'm also the only one with the balls to sit down and finish it on top of my own workload. so i'm sorry but i won't be putting this down just yet. did you want me to call driver choi for you?"
jeonghan blinks silently at you, realizing you weren't gonna listen to a word he said, not even if he was the only voice of reason in your vicinity right now. he shrugs, "i can see myself out. just be here on time tomorrow, we have an important case to discuss."
"as you wish," you nod cordially and return to your work. 
– 
jeonghan's up till four that night, which is when he hears you shuffle into his condo. he silently thanks his past self who decided to drop a spare key to his place when your visits had become a regular thing. 
you're pulling your hair out of the tight ponytail you'd kept it in all day and throw the tie on the nightstand, almost screaming out of your skin when you see jeonghan looking at you, propped up on his shoulder. 
"what the fuck– why are you still awake?"
"why are you mad at me?"
you ignore his question and start untuck your shirt from your pants, unbuttoning them. 
"oh my god, is this the day you finally have mad sex with me–?"
you give jeonghan an unimpressed smile as you let the pants drop and throw yourself into the empty space beside him, closing your eyes with a weary sigh. "wake me up at 6."
jeonghan being the devious idiot he is, only worsens with every second you don't address his words directly. he rolls closer to you, hand finding his place under your shirt, on your hot stomach. "babydoll, i'm sorry you had to work so late," he whispers as he presses a kiss to your skin. "but if you don't talk to me, i can't make things right."
"you can't make things right, period, jeonghan," you tell him, eyes still closed. the man wouldn't get any more of your energy than you could help. "i'll be back to normal if you just let me sleep."
"you're being mean, baby, just let me make it up to you, okay?"
"jeonghan, unless you can change who you are as a very human being, i don't think there's anything you can do," you strain, shoving him away, "i'm not about to throw a tantrum so don't worry. let me sleep if you want to have your best associate working for you tomorrow."
that seems to get the message across because he doesn't say another word. or maybe he does but you're too busy slipping into the sleep you desperately need after a crazy work day. jeonghan wakes you up with a solemn look on his face and you sit up in a panic, thinking something's gone wrong at work.
but then he says, "sorry, i overslept. it's 7. you'll have to wear the spare pair of clothes you keep here to work."
"i hate you," you shriek as you jump out of bed, rushing to freshen up in his bathroom as he nods and starts getting ready himself. he does seem like he's keeping to himself because usually, jeonghan would've made a few too many comments about how cozy and domestic it is for the two of you to be using the same mirror to get ready as if his place didn't have any other mirrors to use. he even lets you fix his tie without a snarky comment, just a little kiss on your cheek that you barely tolerate without a shake of your head. 
he watches you put on the makeup you keep in your purse for emergencies like this, but can't help muse over how much he must hate to the idea of losing you at work to be acting this obedient. you smile a little to yourself, pleased at least at his respect for you, if not his love. 
truth be told, you often regretted being in this strange more than coworkers but less than lovers situation you had with yoon jeonghan, your direct superior at work. but you were too deep in it to back out, too down bad for the man's charms to turn your back to him. 
it had started almost as soon as jeonghan had laid eyes on you, his private conversations with you always consisted of one too many suggestive comments and he somehow always managed to flirt with you without you truly registering it. by the time you recognized the unprofessional nature of your relationship with him, you were five kisses too late. late nights at the office turned into late nights at his place, because it was conveniently much closer to the office than yours. 
somewhere along the way, though, you had to face the harsh reality that no matter how sweet jeonghan could be when he was flirting with you, he was always going to be something of a beautiful monster. because in private, jeonghan is nothing short of an angel to you – charming and devious, teasing but all in good faith, in faith that he was helplessly into you. but in public, he's monstrous with his cold shoulder, his indifference to you like you weren't in his bed every night, humming him to sleep.  
the harsh reality you face that very morning when he calls you into his office. 
"morning how can i–," you start and then make eye-contact with the man seated on the sofa across from jeonghan. "oh, morning, mr. nakamoto! i didn't realize you were in town!"
nakamoto yuta laughs loudly at your hurried greeting, crossing his legs as he shamelessly checks you out. "oh, come now, call me yuta like the good old days, y/n! and where were you this morning when i was all over the place trying to find the famous yoon jeonghan's office."
"ah, i'm sorry i was a little late this morning–" you spare a glance at jeonghan smiling in his chair, "my cheap excuse of an alarm didn't go off on time. i really should get a new one."
"if you'd come to work for me like i asked, you wouldn't have to work at the ass crack of dawn y'know?" yuta raises a brow at you with a small grin and you tuck some hair behind your ear bashfully, not forgetting to observe how jeonghan is stiff in his seat. as stiff as a slick bastard like him could get anyway because you could've missed the glare he shot you when he stands up and crosses the room to yuta. 
he pauses next to you, cold hand coming to rest on your arm, a possessive gesture explicit enough for yuta to muse over. "i didn't realize you came in here to declare war over my best associate, yuta, or i would've prepared harder."
the japanese businessman laughs wholeheartedly, "sorry, han, you know i can't help myself these days. it's getting harder to find familar faces in the industry these days, what with all the incompetence that's cropping up." he sighs then with a glance in your direction, "still mad you came to work for this asshole over me."
you chuckle, letting down your guard a little at the man's sincere comment. "what would've been the point of working at your company when you'd always be across the globe, vacationing in some fancy hotel every other week?" you question with a smile, "anyway, don't lose hope, maybe i'll change career paths mid-life, so don't delete my resume from your system just yet."
"all right, i'll take that as a promise," yuta winks at you as you take your leave from the office. 
an hour or so later, you're summoned to jeonghan's office again, with a brief, "y/n, please." you suppress the urge to roll your eyes, knowing there wasn't any real need for you to be in the room with them except for yoon jeonghan's egoistic need to fuck with your head. 
"how can i help you?" you ask with your sweetest business smile and jeonghan stands up from the sofa next to yuta. he gestures to the other man with a glint in his eye, "y/n, mr. nakamoto says he has the rest of the day to himself before he heads out. i thought it'd be a waste to just let him roam on his own, why don't you accompany him?"
you blink blankly at jeonghan, taken aback at his thoughtless request. treating you like just another associate who worked under him was one thing, but treating you like his personal assistant who'd entertain his friends' whims was entirely another. 
and you know he realizes this because of how closely he's watching you, lips set in a lilt because he loves seeing his stupid little scenarios play out. yuta stands up when he senses the tension, "ah, don't bother y/n, han. i'm sure she has a lot of work to do. i'll just–"
"no, no, i insist," jeonghan pushes, only glancing at the man he was so earnestly trying to please. "you don't mind, do you, y/n?"
you inhale, sensing the challenge behind his words. the way he said it, it was almost inappropriate for work, the smirk and the way his eyes were all over you. but honestly, you hated his guts for trying to get you down like this. so if a challenge was what he wanted, then that'd be exactly what he was going to get. 
"not at all!" you start, a cheerful beam on your face that catches both men off their guards and you continue, "please, i was hoping for some time to catch up with mr. nakamoto– sorry, with yuta, anyway, so honestly, thank you, mr. yoon. i'll just go grab my stuff and meet you in the lobby?"
"oh– okay, sure thing," yuta mutters, glancing between you and jeonghan uneasily. you don't spare your boss another look as you leave his office and furiously pack your things into your purse, slinging it over your arm. "i won't be back today, seulgi, so don't text me unless everyone starts dropping dead while i'm gone."
"so you don't show up at work all day and then you ignore all my calls? i am your boss, y/n, you can't just blow me off whenever you please," jeonghan's voice is muffled on the other side, and you're guessing he's in his car, on the way back to his place. 
you, on the other hand, had been home for nearly three hours now after your little date with yuta, the man who'd walked around the city with your for a few hours before taking you out to a late lunch slash early dinner at the nicest place you'd been to in a while. so yes, you were in a good mood and honestly, hearing how mad jeonghan is on the line only makes you smile more. 
"oh, sorry, i didn't realize you were bipolar like that," you say in a pleased voice, "because last i remember you basically begged me to babysit your client for you."
"client?" jeonghan scoffs,  "you make it sound like you weren't sleeping with that guy for almost five years before i came along."
"well, i'm sleeping with you now and you don't hear me calling you anything but my boss to anyone."
"you're a real piece of work sometimes, aren't you?" the man snaps and then after a solemn pause, "what did you do with him all day, anyway?"
you chuckle softly, "can't disclose private matters like that i'm afraid. besides, i'm having real trouble understanding why you sound pissed at me when all i was doing was following your instructions."
"huh, that's funny, you want to get rewarded for running around with another man while i was banging my head at the wall all day today? don't ever try to pull shit like this again or–"
"or what, jeonghan? you're gonna fire me?" you ask, "how about you stop treating me like i'm the dirt on your shoe as soon as you're done using me for sex? i'm not your personal assistant that you can just order around to wet your friends' cocks whenever you fucking want, okay? or i'll be the one considering yuta's offer seriously." 
before jeonghan can have a chance to respond, you hang up on him, breathing deeply to calm yourself down. you take in your apartment, somewhat of an abandoned mess with all the nights you'd spend at jeonghan's. you felt guilty for own behavior, ignoring your own needs for so long that you'd forgotten what being respected really felt like. maybe what you needed was a real relationship.
"that's always been your problem, y/n," rina groans, "you always forget that there's men other than the ones you work with."
"ouch! you make it sound like i've only ever fucked my coworkers–"
"worse, your bosses–"
"okay, so it happened like twice! you're forgetting all the wholesome moments i had in high school," you warn her across the table with a fork. 
"you mean how you rejected any decent guy with genuine feelings for you in favor of chasing older men who didn't know your name?"
"i'll have you know i chased those old men because they were the ones who could get me the job i have today, so i won't apologize for doing what i had to do to have the career i wanted."
rina sighs, "that's not the problem. you could've networked with the people working in the industry and had a healthy relationship with someone your age. but you always got so emotionally attached to anyone who offered you advice that you didn't have time for anything else."
you stare at your coffee dejectedly, swallowing the hard truths your oldest friend was hurling at you. cruel as she was, you knew she wasn't going to sugarcoat things for you, not when you dragged her all the way across town on a saturday to have lunch with you when she had a million other things lined up with her upcoming wedding.
"i don't know how you do it, rina," you mumble, "you've a stable job, a beautiful home, and a doting fiance. god, that's like three worlds apart from the dump of a reality i live in."
"okay, now that's just untrue, y/n," rina scolds you softly, shaking her head, "plus, you have the first two things on that list."
"i have a job, but my place is far from home. i don't even sleep in it most days, plus, i think the last factor on the list kinda trumps everything else by a lot."
"well, who is that on anyway? it's not like you're undesirable or fucked up, you know?"
you groan, "what should i do, rina?"
"find someone who doesn't work the same 100 hour work week as you might be a start? maybe then you can stop treating your boss like a god."
"rina, you don't understand," you complain, "i know i make it sound too good to believe, but he's the smoothest talker you'll ever see and god, don't even get me started on how good he is in bed–"
"y/n, it's not the man's dick that matters, it's his heart," rina interrupts and when she doesn't burst out laughing like you do, you stop with a questioning look. "i'm serious, dude, you're not gonna be in it for the sex like 10 years down the line when everything hurts, inside and out. trust me, the minute you meet even a remotely normal man with reasonable expectations from life, you'll know what i mean–"
"that's the problem–" you start to explain your own beliefs when a head in your periphery catches your eye. "fuck me," you groan immediately when you realize who's sitting about two tables away from you.
"come on, y/n, i just talked to you about this, you can't be thinking about–"
"no, no, listen, don't look right now, but…" you trail off in disbelief and then force yourself to finish, "but my fucking boss is sitting to our left."
"you mean the fucking boss… you're… fucking?"
"yeah, that one…"
a few beats pass as rina slowly takes a look at the man across from you, hair down from the low ponytail it usually found itself in. at the perfect timing, jeonghan laughs at something the lady across from him says, hair bouncing to reveal his flawless features. 
"wow, he looks like nothing like you've described him as–"
"what, i've been going on for hours about–"
"about his charm, not how drop-dead gorgeous he is! i've been imagining some greasy old douche, not this tall glass of water…"
"first of all, your lack of trust in my taste in men is truly offensive… and–"
rina interrupts you, for the nth time in every conversation that you've ever had with her. "–it's worth mentioning that your taste in men is walking toward us as we speak–" 
"what…" you look up all too suddenly to find the man a few steps away, sly smirk in place as he approached you. 
"hello there, ladies," he starts in a low amused smile and god, if you could strangle him or yourself into silence just there you would've but instead you match his smile. 
"oh– hi, mr. yoon, i didn't expect to run into you here," you laugh it off with a pointed look at him, hoping he'd have the common decency to fuck off when you were clearly with a friend on one of your only days off. 
but you should know better because jeonghan will never give up a chance to open his mouth, especially in front of a stranger he hasn't had the chance to charm yet. 
"and neither did i! but here i am, with my lovely coworker and her…" his eyes dance over to rina who flushes under his gaze by the slightest, "gorgeous friend?"
you roll your eyes at the question and don't think it worth mentioning, especially when you're too busy choking yourself over his description of you as a 'coworker'. yeah, right. 
"right, we were just–"
"talking about the guy who's interested in y/n!" rina chimes in, her grin saying she thinks she's helping you but you kick her under the table, warning her to cut it off. 
"what–"
"huh, what's that again?" jeonghan asks, smile momentarily faltering at rina's comment. 
"ah, you know, y/n's just been so popular with guys since i've known her but she's never had time to settle down. but this guy's just been dying to meet her and when she called me to lunch today, i thought she'd finally be ready to meet the man of her dreams."
"the man of my dreams?" you choke yet again over a strangled laugh, "rina, you're really funny. you know i have nothing of that sort–"
"oh, come on," rina brushes you off with a scrunch of her nose and turning to jeonghan who seemed immersed in the bullshit your best friend was spewing. "she's just too shy to talk about it but– she told me, too drunk off her ass to remember, she'd only want to marry a man who was desperately head over heels for her, gives up everything to be with her, just to see her smile–"
"rina, i think–"
"and oh, what was it that you said? he needs to be able to think what i think before i've thought it? i'm not even looking at him if he doesn't worship the ground i walk on?? wow, y/n, you were full of it back then, weren't you?"
you redden, out of words at this point, half-mad she was yapping and half-mad at yourself for actually having said all the shit she was yapping. yes, god knows you did say everything she was saying, and there was a blurry video on your phone proving it somewhere. rina'd known you wouldn't believe a word without proof, so she'd recorded it without you realizing.
jeonghan's looking at you when you look up from your lap and rina cuts in again, "but you can't be to blame, now, can you? your parents always treated you like a princess, and your brother basically acted like your bodyguard until you moved out… i'd be full of myself too if i grew up like that."
you inhale deeply as you glare at rina, slowly standing up, "um, i think we should go soon or we'll miss the movie. right, rina?" you force your words out so rina can recognize you're not kidding. 
"y/n, can i talk–"
"sorry," you cut jeonghan off, too, head reeling too hard to respond to anything that man's got to say to you, "i really have to rush but if it's something urgent, why don't you just leave a voicemail? i'll get to it on monday."
"ooooh, that was hot," rina whispers into your shoulder as the two of you pay the bill and head out. "god, did i love torturing the two of you in there. and honestly, serves him good–"
"what the fuck was that?"
"what the fuck was what? i was just showing that bastard what you actually deserve," rina snaps, eyes wide, "you might not remember what you're made of, y/n, but i do and i'm not gonna watch as you let that asshole use you. he can realize what your standards are or he can find someone else to fuck with. not my best friend."
"...rina," you stop in your tracks, rina's words finally starting to make sense in retrospect, "you're—"
"okay, please don't get emotional on me, i have a movie to catch and you know i can't focus if i'm tired."
– 
that very night, you come out of the shower to your phone blowing up, stifling a smile when you see jeonghan's name plastered over your notifications. after a thought to it, you pick up.
"what?" you take on your most indifferent tone.
"wow, that's cold," jeonghan's voice is clear this time. he's at home. "you can really be a stranger sometimes, baby."
"it's not hard, i just pretend i'm you at work," you tell him with a petty smile he can't see but most definitely hears because he immediately scoffs.
"listen, i didn't call to fight you, okay? i just want to talk. i–" he stops abruptly as if out of breath and then, softly, "i'm sorry."
that's a first. 
"i didn't quite catch that, mind repeating what exactly you're sorry for?"
you hear his sigh loud and clear, "y/n, let me make it up to you. i'm sorry i've been an asshole to you, especially at work. won't you come over?"
"no, i won't. i have some beauty sleep to catch up on."
"then, i'll come over. but please, let me in. and i don't mean into your place, i mean into your mind. i know you want a grandiose dream man but i can't read your mind just yet, so just let me… let me understand you better." after a beat of silence, he punctuates his words with a "please?"
"...you know where i live?"
"wasn't born yesterday, princess. give me 10 and i'll be there. make sure you're wearing clothes."
he hangs up on you and you barely have a moment to yourself to calm your intense hearbeat and equally chaotic thoughts after what jeonghan just said. i can't read your mind just yet. just yet? did he intend to??? intend to what, become to man of your dreams???? 
as much as you internally cringe at the thought, your cheeks are flushed when you let jeonghan that night, watching carefully as he took his shoes off, wearing a strangely casual grey hoodie and sweatpants. somehow you'd only ever seen him in his suit. or without it. 
he looks at you for a moment too long, and then his hand comes to carress your hair gently, "hmm, never seen you with your wet hair down."
"what do you want, jeonghan?" you cross your arms.
"you know sometimes i think i prefer you call me mr. yoon over jeonghan. you sound like you're going to kill me in my sleep when you say jeonghan."
"or i could just kick you out of my apartment. my landlord takes break-ins very seriously."
"alright, alright," jeonghan backs off, keeping his hands to himself, "can i at least have some water first? nervous to be all alone in your place with you."
you narrow your eyes at him and when he just shrugs, you gestures to the kitchen. "you can figure out how to pour yourself, can't you?"
"y/n, i–" he takes a gulp of the water, and then sighs, "i want to take you out. like a proper boyfriend."
"that's crazy because unfortunately, i don't have any time to be going out with anyone right now."
"if you're going to lie about your work committments, maybe don't do it to my face? our schedules are basically married so i know exactly when you're free."
"oh, i see what's happening," you throw yourself on your couch with a mirthless laugh, "you're blackmailing me into dating you, aren't you? don't worry i won't go around spilling the tea about your kinks in bed if you just leave me alone, mr. yoon."
"okay i lied, it's infinitely worse when you call me that. how about just calling your sweet angel, han, huh? no, okay? listen, y/n, i'm serious. i want to be more than your toxic boss who you have mindblowing sex with."
"you are–"
"i'm not saying this for any of the ulterior motives you're trying so hard to think of. believe it or not, i'm into you, y/n, and when you left me hanging for like three days straight, i couldn't stop thinking of you. and well, i did miss the sex, but what i missed more than anything was hanging out with you. spending time with you." 
"...what if i'm not into you like that?" you ask with a quirked brow, not quite satisfied with the case he was presenting. he stood still across from you at your kitchen counter, breathing shallow though you weren't certain why.
"that would be fair but i'm asking you to give us a chance because i know i've never had a connection with someone like i do with you. our stupid banter, your witty ways to save my life at work and outside before i can anticipate them, and of course, our amazing chemistry in bed– y/n, i never will find something like this again. and you can say i'm full of myself, but neither will you."
if you were slowly starting to doubt that it really was yoon jeonghan in front of you confessing his love to you, you don't anymore when he adds that last arrogant part in. "you're awfully confident for someone who was blowing my phone up an hour ago," you tell him, looking away, "but honestly, jeonghan, i'm getting old, okay? i don't think i have time to play your games anymore. i'm gonna find myself a decent man and settle—"
"you hearing yourself? you're gonna settle?" jeonghan's crosses over to you, sitting on your coffee table and before you can tell him off, he takes both of your hands in his with the tenderness of a man that you've never seen him capable of being. "i know i'm not the most promising prospect of a boyfriend, let alone a husband, but i'm willing to change. not even change, i'm just going to stop pretending to be a little bitch to you at work because honestly it was killing but i was doing it to protect myself from getting too attached to you. but it's too late. i'm down bad for you, y/n."
"and i may not be the decent man you're looking for, but i can assure i love you more than anyone on the market. because i know you like nobody else can, and i'm going to stick by you no matter what."
you take a breath and hold it just to test if you're dreaming but then jeonghan drops his head into your hand, letting your fingers into his soft hair. "just give me a chance, y/n. i'm… nothing without you." his voice is small now, his charming self who showed up to rooms full of busy people to give them a pitch of their life long gone. he was just a man right now, pleading you to let him in so you could both have a real shot at loving each other. 
you pull your hands out of jeonghan's clutch, watching his expression turn into one of panic but you silence him by bringing them to his face, gingerly guiding his eyes to yours. he blinks back, pure and solemn. "where was this guy when i was begging to be held for the past week?" you wonder, half to yourself, "and before you apologize, it's okay. i… haven't been a saint myself. it was unfair to not give you the short end of the stick when i'd given you the impression it was all good and fine until now."
"but you have to know how little i feel when you treat me without respect at work– not just because you're my boss, but because i care about what you think of me… as a person. i want to be with you, to love you. so if you can be real with me like this, i think we can make it work."
jeonghan kisses your hand softly, "i'm sorry. i– i will do better. and just to be sure, that was a yes?"
"yes."
"yes, you'll be my girlfriend, my one and only lover, the apple of my eye, the prettiest sight since the moon was revealed?"
"...yes. and flattery is not one the list of real qualties," you tell him despite the blush that colors you. 
"really? it's a good thing that i meant every single thing i just said then, isn't it?" he leans closer, breath hot against your already hot face. "can i kiss you then, love?"
the new nickname only makes you more dazed and you nod with a mewl, meeting jeonghan's lips halfway. he kisses you like he's never before — without a hint of urgency, like he could kiss you for the rest of his life and not regret a moment. he's slow and intentful, eyes fluttering and breath heavy, almost like his heart was wreaking as much of a havoc as yours was in your chest. 
you press a hand to his chest, reassured by the heat of beat that meets you, and he pulls away in surprise at your motion. jeonghan's flushed and speechless like he's never been, just watching you through his lashes, out of breath. 
you look down at his body, taking in his tall figure cramped in the little space between the two of you. his legs cage yours on either side, knees meeting your thighs, and his arms resting gently on your waist. it's like his body's swallowing you whole, and thought heats you up in a way that has you tearing up. 
when you hide your face in your hands out of the blue, jeonghan's large hands find yours, cooing them away. "what's wrong?"
"overwhelmed…" you tell him in a tiny voice, "i've– you never… you've never been so gentle with me. i feel like i'm going to break."
"that's ironic, isn't it," he asks softly but not mockingly. "you're so precious, i can't believe i haven't done this sooner. i guess i was always in such a hurry to feel your skin before time ran out… before it was too late… or something? either way, i'm here to stay now so let's take it slow."
"so you'll kiss me like that again?" you ask, looking at your intertwined hands. he squeezes back. 
"you liked that? let me see your lips again, i'm never not doing that again."
you giggle at his enthusiastic reaction, his lips already a breath away from yours, feeling your sounds in his whole being like he'd been starved. he kisses you again, not letting go till you pull away with a gasp. "god, i need air, han, you'll kill me at this rate."
jeonghan's too busy peppering your skin with more kisses, "good, you're back to calling me han. and as for needing air, we'll just have to do that a lot so you can build up a stamina."
"love it when you do that, god–" jeonghan's all over his own words, trying to get them out as soon fast as possible, "can you say it again? i'm gonna record it–" 
"han," you warn him in a stiff voice, "tell me you didn't just walk out of a meeting to come ask me to say– i'm not saying it, okay? so let go of my hand before seulgi comes back and you'll still have a reputation around here."
"no, you can't do this to me, babe," he's whining now and it'd be great for your ego if you couldn't see the room full of people waiting for him to get back so he could continue the meeting. "just tell me what you told rina about the dates i take you on and then i'll be out of your hair."
"first of all, you were never supposed to hear any of that," you push jeonghan away when he protests dangerously close to your face, "and second, if you want to have a girlfriend at the end of the day, you're gonna walk away from my desk and go back to your doing your job. okay, han? i can't do this now, let's talk at night."
"...fine. if you agree to sleep over at mine."
"done. now go."
"and you'll hold hands when we walk–"
"go."
he turns around obediently not before throwing a flying kiss in your direction and you truly have to wonder how he ever managed to act so uptight with you at work when he can be hopeless like this. 
"i'll have you know," he whines that night when you're coddling him in his bed, "that i'm that hopeless only because i'm head over heels for you. i love you, love, and i can't stop loving you, even if a bunch of suited assholes want to find ways to keep me apart from you."
"a bunch of suited assholes is your job description, angel," you laugh into his chest, "and god, you need to stop doing that at work. at least find a room if you want to be all up in my personal space, okay?"
"reserve a room just so we can make out? hmm, not a bad idea—"
"that is the exact opposite of what i was suggesting–"
"and yet here i am, with the great idea in my brain. noted, princess likes risky sex at work. thrill of getting caught? or is–"
"when did making out turn into risky sex?"
"you know i can never stop at just that once i've started," he says, kissing your forehead and you hit his face softly. "liar. big words from someone who refused to do anything but kiss me all night last night, and the night before that, and what about the time we went to dinner that time? oh, right, you didn't even kiss me."
"are you mad i'm being mindful of my pace?" jeonghan asks with a half smile, seriously concerned when you bring it up.
"no, i'm just shocked at the change up from when all you could think about was where and how we were gonna fuck."
"well, be assured that i still think about fucking you anywhere and everywhere at all times, but i'm more than that man now. i've got boyfriend worries now, 'kay? i want to savor every single thing we do, every date i take you on, and every small adorable thing you do. i'm not doing it the casual way. it's either all or nothing."
"you're scary when you're in love," you marvel with a sweet smile, "but full disclosure on my part, han, but i kind of need you to fuck my mind out because i'm literally dying here."
jeonghan goes still, pulling away to look at your face, amazed at the filth you could spawn with the purest smile on your lips. when he catches the glint of desperation in your eye though, he's switching control immediately, over to the jeonghan he'd managed to suppress so expertly to focus on treating you right. 
"damn it, you're gonna be the death of me, looking at me like that–" he's on top of you in a split second, his hair brushing the nape of your neck where he dives into your skin. "wasn't gonna ruin you again till i really had to, but fucking hell, woman, you know how to work a guy up."
"i can tell," you murmur, hands roaming all over his body, finding the hard bulge in his boxers all to familiar. "had to provoke you, y'know my fingers aren't enough."
jeonghan lets out an ungodly sound at your words, and you revel in the way he's coming undone, the way you've managed to push all the wrong buttons. to be fair, was it really wrong if it drove jeonghan to give you the best head he'd ever given you? 
when he rises from between your legs, you kiss him hard, tasting yourself on his tongue, and stealing his breath when you push him over so you could straddle him. "let me return the favor?" you lick your lips to really seal the deal.
"you–" he groans when you don't wait to pull his boner out of its restraints, smiling ever so demurely like he'd presented you with new clothes or a ticket to your favorite show. when you take a lick at his tip, he twitches, hands in your hair forcing you away from his dick. 
"--can't–" he's hardly comprehensible but he manages to get his request out, "can't take it for much longer. need to be inside you."
"thought you'd never ask, hannie," you gasp innocently and jeonghan swears he's already seeing stars from the nickname you only pull out on the verge of your orgasms. he's spewing all sorts of obscenities when you sheath him in your warm pussy, and you make sure you take in the sight before you. 
jeonghan's glittering with sweat, lips wonderfully swollen and eyes rolled back in his head with the height of pleasure he was feeling. he looked like an angel, even when he was so fucked out, chest deliciously hard against your touch and his voice contrastingly in its sweet chorus of your name. he was doing much of the work even though you were riding him, long fingers trailing from your boobs to clasp your waist so he could have perfect control of your body.
when he's close, he swallows a whine and you clench around him just to rip the sound out of his throat, the moan halfway between a scream and a song to your ears. that alone brings you close with jeonghan's thumb at your clit really bringing you to the edge. 
"come for me, hannie," you elicit another heavenly sound from him, "please, let me feel you inside me." 
"i'm coming, y/n, fuck!" he bites his own tongue and then gives up when you keep going, "fuck, fuck, fuck, i'm going to– fuckk–"
you both fall over with the wave of pleasure that hits your bodies, elevated ever more when each of you feels the others heat. it takes a minute of panting for you to feel your heartbeat in your chest and see jeonghan's limp body under yours. you roll over so your back can hit the cold sheets. 
you genuinely black out a little from the exhaustion because when you come to, jeonghan's between your legs with a warm towel cleaning you up. he looks up when you sit up with an unspeakable look in his eyes. he crawls over, voice hoarse as his lips meets yours. "i think you just changed my life, y/n, that was amazing."
"it was, i think i was on another planet for a hot minute there…" you say, oddly nervous with jeonghan's body touching yours as if you hadn't been all over each other a second ago. 
"you were… unbelievable. i've never been that gone before, y'know? you might've broken me… all that after i promised to be nothing but a gentleman to you." jeonghan sighs a little with a shake of his head.
"sorry, angel," you run a hand through his hair, feeling him relax under your touch, "i was pent up, what from fighting with you and then suddenly becoming all lovey dovey. for what it's worth, i think we just upped fucking game. and it's probably because we aren't lying to each other anymore."
"probably because you're all mine now," he says victoriosly, kissing your hand like he did the night he'd come to your place to beg you to take a shot at a life with him. you're so glad you did because you couldn't imagine another place where you'd feel this way, completely like yourself and nothing like yourself. 
"always have been," you assure him as you press a kiss to the back of his neck, throwing your hands around his shoulders. you liked to hug him to sleep, like you'd always yearned to every time you unwittingly fell asleep next to him. he shifts closer so your legs touch and you feel his lips graze your wrist lovingly, pressing kisses to the warm skin till you'd drifted into a deep sleep.
NOTE:
still not sane about that instagram update from jeonghan because those images of him have me feeling like this: 🤭🧍‍♀️😧🌀🥵😇🖐️🫦🙁 if you know what i mean. i will be crying about it for the next few days till i can think straight so that's that!
honest to god, somebody restrain me from writing and thinking about this man because i’m genuinely unwell about him. genuinely this is a cry for help. i told myself i wasn't going to write another jeonghan fic (see: the 50 wips i have waiting that involve not jeonghan) but here i am. speedwrote this in less than 2 days and took 2 hours to select the header icons and they still suck. self-indulgent content as always but anyway, i think i will die thinking about yoon jeonghan so here's my small contribution to anyone else who feels anything similar to me. i hope you enjoy and please i love hearing your thoughts so any reblogs and comments are appreciated <3
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emptyjunior · 11 months
Text
Let's talk about Peeta, I believe he's a fully genuine person and a lot of what he said was authentic. Like he can be manipulative, he has that gift of gab, and we see it a lot more in Catching Fire or later on in the series.
But I do believe he was being very strategic in the first book as well! Like right out the gate!
Kind of the story presented to us is:
-katniss suspicious of him for being nice
-thinks he's playing the game to screw her over
-oh she was wrong he's just a good human being
And I think a lot of elements of that interpretation are true! Katniss is wrong about him trying to screw her over!
But he is still being strategic, he does have plans and he is trying to save himself, not just sacrifice for her.
We all remember the "she came here with me" moment, life changing, showstopping, hilarious. And that was a true moment! He does love Katniss!
And Haymitch interprets it as what it is, a gift to Katniss to make her seem desirable = attract sponsor attention.
But it was also very beneficial to him as well! Like ask yourself what happened just before that.
Katniss had just received a 12, the entire team was excited about just her, immediately forgetful of his 8. Peeta had just told Haymitch they could train without him, something Haymitch says he offered himself (which I believe) but Peeta is not a fool. He was aware that what happens now is: the mentor focuses attention on the one who will win! And Peeta was sparing himself the pain of Haymitch telling him that first.
So Peeta is being forgotten about by Effie and the wardrobe crew (their entire PR/propoganda department) and he is losing training from Haymitch.
So what does he do?
He goes on television and presents the plot of Star Crossed Lovers. Sells the story of the Duo, the Couple.
And it's a valuable story! Effie eats it up, Haymitch knows he can sell it, but the only way to sell it is if the two are a pair. Two lovers training together, coordinating together, being publicly mentored together.
Peeta made sure he was given every advantage Katniss was getting with one simple interview, he's always been strategic. Even more strategic then Snow cause he actually knows how to sell the truth.
And immediately after that is him and Katniss's little moment where they talk about humanity together. Peeta confesses that his greatest fear is becoming like the people in the capitol, becoming not himself.
And Katniss doesn't really understand what he's talking about! And my first read I didn't either!
He's feeling guilty cause he just sold himself. He participated in the bread and circuses, and he's reeling at how easy it was and how good he is at it.
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azrielslittleslut · 2 months
Note
your request are open? Cause I have a request.
Can’t stop thinking about an Azriel x reader fic where the reader is new to the Ic, she’s quiet, out spoken and reserved in group settings
but when az gets her alone, while shes nervous and doesn’t immediately come out of her shell… Az becomes a bit enamoured with her and knows there’s more then meets the eye with her. He starts approaching her and showing her he sees her even when she tries to hide in his shadows…he starts to feel the beginning of the bond and feels it in every little thing she does. How she hides in his shadows without knowing and his shadows grow really fond of her. eventually after all his hard work and giving her all his attention( which makes her really flustered at first and Az thinks it’s adorable) when she trusts him she opens up to him and is a chatter box and so bubbly and loud and speaks her mind shares all her interest and hobbies and she’s super smart and has really good ideas for velaris that Az wants to tell Rhys etc
And then then they find out their mates and the first time they fuck reader is shy once more and doesn’t want to be loud and moan and az obviously won’t have that so he makes her feel so good she can’t help but moan she simply can not hold her noises in and az praises her for it and she blushes and now Az takes great pride in the fact that he’s able to make her loud and everyone else thinks shes so quiet (Just like az is viewed as quiet so he saw you even when you tired to hide in the shadows fade into the background like he so often does) and he’s also a freak so you know Az pulled out all the tricks to make her so blissed out in pleasure that she got out of her own head and let him hear all her pretty noises …Anyway just a thought, if your comfortable writing this smut with plot fic 😂 your writing is the best and I’d be gagged if this gets brought to life and shows up on the timeline
"Always the Quiet Ones"
Azriel x Fem!Reader
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Warnings: 18+, porn with plot, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), use of pet names, fluff
Word Count: 4k
a/n: thanks for your kind words, anon! I hope this lives up to your expectations!
Enjoy!
"And what happened then, Cassian?" Mor asked, her bubbly voice echoing throughout the living room of the townhouse. "Did you kill the beast, or did you let it get away?"
Cassian clapped his large hands together, and the sound made you jump slightly in your seat. "You know I killed it, of course!" he exclaimed in a loud voice.
"Come on, Cass," Rhys drawled from his chair next to the fireplace. "Tell the truth. Nobody has been able to kill a beast like that for centuries, so I find it hard to believe your story."
You sighed as Cassian made a noise deep in his throat, your mind trailing off as he started to defend himself against his family's accusations. You took a small sip of your drink as you rubbed your temple with your free hand.
Why was the Inner Circle so... loud?
You had been recently hired by Rhys to help him with the Night Court’s finances. You had always been good with money, and you had been a valuable asset in the Winter Court, which was your home.
But you had wanted a change of scenery, growing tired of the endless snow and cold air, so you had put your information out, searching for a job elsewhere. It hadn’t taken long for the High Lord of the Night Court to respond, claiming he needed help getting the economy of his court back into good shape. It had fallen apart after the War, and you were beside yourself with happiness when he had hired you.
Rhys had quickly introduced you to his Inner Circle, and you had smiled at them, your heart racing with fear as you introduced yourself. You loathed talking, especially to strangers. You were somewhat awkward and very quiet, usually sticking to the shadowed corners of the room just to stay away from prying eyes.
But with the Inner Circle, that was nearly impossible. Nesta had her special way of always pulling you into unwanted conversations. Feyre would always ask your opinion on her paintings, even though you knew nothing about art. Mor would tell you horrible jokes, always expecting a laugh in response.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like them. They were all so nice, and they were slowly becoming your friends. Perhaps, one day, you might even call them your family. But you were a quiet person overall, and their boisterous personalities were too much to handle sometimes.
“Enjoying yourself?” Azriel asked, his deep voice low.
You jumped slightly, your hand going to your chest. "Azriel," you gasped. "You snuck up on me."
He chuckled, his hazel eyes bright. A ghost of a smile graced the corner of his mouth as he said, "Well, it is my job to sneak up on people."
Azriel was the only one in the Inner Circle who you didn't mind being around. Like you, he was quiet and outspoken, always keeping to himself. Despite your usual introverted demeanor, you found yourself drawn to him, like a moth to a flame.
It didn't help that he was absolutely beautiful.
Black hair, golden-brown skin, full lips. Eyes like molten gold with spots of green and brown... He was breathtaking.
You shook your head, pulling yourself out of your own thoughts. "Well, you're very good at it," you said, and you cursed yourself as soon as the words left your mouth. You were horrible at having conversations, and it was even worse with Azriel staring at you like he was.
Azriel laughed again. "You didn't answer my question." As he spoke, one of his shadows darted out to play with a strand of your hair.
The odd gesture from the shadow felt... comforting, and it gave you enough confidence to say, "No. I'm not enjoying myself. It's too loud, but Feyre invited me tonight, so I don't want to upset her by leaving."
He nodded once, a strand of dark hair falling across his brow. "At least you're honest," he said as his eyes scanned the room, full of soft affection as he looked at his family. "That's something I envy about you."
You smiled softly as you felt a warmth enter your chest, chasing away the cold emptiness you had felt since moving to the Night Court. You truly loved it here, but you had felt so lonely, and you spent most of your days with your face buried in the finance books.
"If you ever need a break from the noise," Azriel said, pulling you from your thoughts, "you can find me in the shadows. It's always... quiet there."
You raised your glass to him, a full smile on your lips now. "I think I'll take you up on that, shadowsinger."
---
Azriel groaned quietly, his shadows restlessly swarming around him as the family gathering raged on. The drinks were flowing freely tonight, and he was sure all of Velaris could hear Feyre's drunken laughter.
He stood from his seat, aiming for the door, but he stopped once he saw you sitting in the corner next to a bookshelf. It was obvious that you were trying to hide, and he couldn't help but smile to himself at the sight of it. He had been in the same position for hundreds of years, always wanting to stay in the shadows, and he found it amusing coming from you.
With a deep breath, Azriel winnowed into the shadows, appearing right next to you. He stayed quiet as he leaned down to whisper in your ear, "You will have to try harder than that to stay hidden, especially from me."
You jumped, and he smiled, content with the fact that he could sneak up on you so easily. "Who says I was trying to stay hidden?" you snapped back. "I just like to observe. I'm not one to be... in the middle of all of that."
Az leaned against the shelf, his eyes studying your face. He couldn't deny how pretty you were, with those full lips and expressive eyes. He had been drawn to you from the first time Rhys introduced his new bookkeeper to the Inner Circle, but he had kept his distance, deciding it was best to stay away.
Yet, here he was, always seeking you out in the shadows of the family gatherings. There was something different about you, but he couldn't place his finger on it.
"Well," Azriel said, his voice low, "we have that in common, at least. How about we leave, and go somewhere more quiet?"
You paused for a second, your eyes shadowed. "I'm fine, Az," you murmured. "Go be with your family. I'm not in a very talkative mood tonight."
Az blinked, unable to think of anything to persuade you to go with him. "Very well," he said at last, lowering his head in a mock bow. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."
He walked away, once again taking his seat next to Cassian, who was talking to Mor about a new sword he had bought. Normally, Az would have been interested in the conversation, but his attention was still occupied with you.
You were still sitting in the same spot, your face hidden in the shadows. His shadows, he realized. They swarmed around your body, content to hide you from the loud conversations going on in the living room. You didn't seem to notice the dark tendrils swirling around your body as if you were used to hiding away like this.
That's odd, Azriel thought to himself. Nonetheless, he made a vow to himself in that moment. He was going to do whatever it took to bring you out of your shell.
---
You sighed as you looked down at the paper in front of you, the numbers blending together as your eyes grew weary. You had been trying to do these calculations for what seemed like hours, but you had made no progress whatsoever.
"How did the finances get so messed up?" you grumbled to yourself as you placed your face in your hands. "This is impossible."
"Nothing is impossible," said a voice from the doorway. You raised your head just enough to see Azriel leaning against the doorframe of the library, his wings tucked in tight. He was dressed in his leathers, and his shadows were swirling around him. He looked so handsome like that, you thought, but you were more annoyed that he had interrupted you.
You leaned against the back of the chair. "What are you doing here?"
He pushed himself away from the doorway, sauntering into the library on those long legs of his. You found yourself staring at the way his thigh muscles flexed as he walked toward you, but you quickly pushed those thoughts away. "I came to check on you. Rhys said he hadn't heard from you since early this morning, and I wanted to make sure you hadn't died in the last twelve hours."
Your eyes widened in horror. "Twelve hours?" Had you really been down here that long? "What time is it?"
Azriel shrugged his broad shoulders. "Almost midnight." He looked at you with those beautiful hazel eyes of his, and you suddenly felt that it was entirely possible to get lost in his gaze. "You should get some rest. The finances have been in shambles for a year now. They can wait another day," he said, his voice gentle.
Slowly, you stood from the chair, exhaustion suddenly hitting your body in strong waves. You walked over to him, and his lovely shadows darted out, wrapping themselves around your wrist. You smiled down at them as you said, "Thank you for coming to get me. Nobody really knows I exist... Sometimes I wonder if anybody truly sees me."
Azriel raised a scarred hand, placing it gently along your cheek. He raised your face up slightly, just enough for you to meet his gaze. "I know," he said, his voice soft. This close, you could count each of his long eyelashes, so dark they looked like splatters of ink. "I can see you hiding in the shadows, always wanting to keep to yourself. But you should know that I see you. I will always see you."
For all your life, you had tried to stay hidden away. But his words unlocked something deep inside of your chest, something that even the shadows couldn't hide. Perhaps, for once, it would be nice to be seen.
---
Azriel was relentless in seeking you out, always finding ways to talk to you, to bring you out of the shadows. He had brought you food on those long nights when you stayed locked away in the library, so focused on your work that you forgot to eat. He would bring you books he knew you would like, doing anything and everything to see that beautiful smile lighting up your face.
At first, you had been so flustered and annoyed, obviously not used to having someone shower you with attention. Azriel kept pressing on, as he thought it was rather adorable to watch the way your face would redden every time he did something for you.
He had been doing this for weeks now, and slowly, you had come out of your shell, but only with him. You were still quiet and reserved around the rest of the Inner Circle, but Azriel didn't mind- he found that he loved the fact that he was the one whom you trusted enough to be yourself with.
It turned out that you were quite the chatterbox when you wanted to be, and he loved listening to you talk and laugh. He could sit and watch you do absolutely nothing for hours on end, and he would be perfectly content.
The two of you were sitting in the training ring of the House of Wind. Earlier, Az had brought you here, as you had claimed you wanted to see how an Illyrian fought. He had obliged you, of course, unable to deny you anything.
Besides, he rather enjoyed the blush that had crept up your neck when he had taken his shirt off. And he hadn't missed the way you had rubbed your legs together as you watched him train.
"I think the court needs a budget," you said, your voice loud despite the wind. "What do you think?"
Azriel hummed as he sharpened Truth Teller. "I think that's a great idea. But good luck trying to convince Rhys. I don't think the male has the word budget in his vocabulary."
You rolled your eyes. "Maybe I could tempt him with a new jacket. The Mother only knows how much he loves his clothes."
Azriel barked out a laugh, unable to control himself. You always had a way to make him laugh, with your unfailing wit and humor. Everything you did lit a fire deep within his bones. Hell, just earlier today he had been unable to keep his own arousal under control as he had watched you eat breakfast. The way your lips had wrapped around the fork, so full and luscious-
"Az, did you hear me?" you asked. Your eyes were glittering, and he wondered if you knew where his thoughts had gone.
He cleared his throat. "Sorry. What were you saying?" His shadows had wrapped around you as they always did when the two of you were together. It was evident that they loved being around you just as much as he did, as they always sought you out, even when he hadn't commanded them to. They would hide you away at the loud family gatherings, wrapping themselves around your body just enough to keep you hidden from the prying eyes of his family.
Azriel wondered if you had noticed their strange behavior.
You giggled, and the sound danced along Azriel's skin. "I was saying that I think we need to go to Rhys about the budget. Plus, I have some other ideas about ways to improve Velaris." You bit your lip as you looked down at the ground. "Not just finance stuff. I have other ideas."
He wasn't surprised, not at all. You were so smart and intelligent, and he wished others could have the pleasure of knowing you as he did. You had told him of some of your ideas, and he knew Rhys would love them. Az knew that you just didn't want to bring it up to him yourself.
Azriel moved forward, placing his hand on your thigh. He could feel the heat of your skin through the thick leggings you wore. "Tell me," he murmured. "I want to hear everything you have to say."
You looked up and smiled at him, and Azriel felt something tighten in his chest at the sight. "Then get comfortable, shadowsinger. You're in for a long night."
---
Azriel pushed you against the wall of his bedroom, his breath hot against your skin as he trailed kisses down your neck. "Are you sure about this, love?" he asked, his voice low with desire.
You threw your head back against the wall, your eyes closed as his lips moved against your sensitive flesh. "Yes," you gasped. "I want you. Please."
Over the past few weeks, you and Azriel had grown closer, and you could no longer deny your obvious attraction to him. He had taken you on dates out on Velaris. He had taken you flying across the Illyrian mountains.
Azriel had brought you to life in ways that you never could have imagined. He had brought you out of that quiet shell that you had lived in for centuries, and you wanted to tie yourself to him in every way possible.
He groaned as he lifted you up, moving his hands down to your thighs to wrap them around his waist. "I love the sound of you begging," he said. He carried you over to his bed, dropping you gently onto the mattress.
You laughed softly as you reached for him, pulling his strong body down to yours. "Don't get used to it," you whispered against his lips, your hands moving to the fastenings that held his leathers closed.
He chuckled as he moved his hands to help you with the fastenings. "We'll see about that, angel." The dark glimmer in his eyes told you that he was going to do whatever it took to hear you beg again, and you wanted to laugh at the sight.
He might have shattered the quiet walls you had built around yourself, but he could never take your stubbornness away.
You weren't entirely sure how the rest of your clothes were discarded, only that you were lying on his bed, and he had his head between your legs. You couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips as he dove his tongue into your folds, torturing you with pleasure.
"Please, Az," you whimpered. "More."
You felt Azriel smile against your cunt. "There's that begging that I love," he said as he moved his tongue up to circle your clit.
You covered your mouth with a hand to keep from crying out in pleasure. You felt one of his shadows trail up your body, wrapping itself around your wrist. You didn't fight as it pulled your hand away from your mouth at the same time that Azriel thrust one of his long fingers into you. You whimpered again as you felt him curl it inside of you, hitting that sweet, spongy spot along your inner walls.
"Be loud for me," Azriel murmured, his face still buried in your pussy. "Let me hear you."
You shook your head, too afraid of the sounds that would come out of your mouth if you lost control. You were in Azriel's bedroom in the House of Wind, and you knew Nesta and Cassian were right down the hall. What if they heard you?
Azriel, who seemed very intent on his task, added another finger, curling it deep inside of you. He sucked on your clit at the same time, and your vision went white with pleasure. "Oh, fuck," you moaned, your back arching off the bed. "Yes, yes, yes."
"My good girl," he groaned as he continued to wring pleasure from your body, only stopping once you shattered from your climax. You were unable to stop the moans and screams that escaped your lips as you came, not giving a damn who heard you.
Azriel crawled up your body, laying a trail of sloppy kisses along your stomach and chest. He kept his eyes locked onto yours as he reached down and swiped a hand through your release. You watched with blurry eyes as he coated his cock with it, preparing himself.
"Relax for me, love," he murmured as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I will be gentle."
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, careful of his wings, as you leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you, Azriel," you whispered to him. "And I trust you."
Azriel sucked in a breath, his eyes going wide as he looked down at you. You gasped as you felt something tighten in your chest, as if a cord was there, being stretched. You felt that cord reach out from your body, the bridge of connection between your soul and Azriel's.
"Mate," Azriel gasped, his eyes still wide as he looked down at you. They were full of nothing but love and awe as he looked at your naked body splayed beneath him. "You're my mate."
His shadows swarmed you then, covering your body in a way that reminded you of the kisses Azriel had placed along your skin. "You're mine," you snarled softly, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him into you.
Slowly, Azriel pushed his cock into your dripping folds, and you moaned loudly at the stretch. He was so big, and he filled your body in a mind-shattering way. "Say it again," he commanded.
"You're mine." He followed your words with a powerful thrust, one so hard you heard the bed slam into the wall. "And I am yours."
Even though Az had said he would be gentle, it seemed he was unable to control himself. He set an almost punishing pace, but you didn't mind. You met his passion with your own, and you screamed his name repeatedly as he fucked you so deeply and thoroughly that your breasts bounced in time with the bed slamming into the wall.
A distant part of you wondered if it would be broken come morning.
"Azriel!" you screamed as he moved his hand down to your lower belly, pressing down gently. The movement caused your eyes to roll back and your jaw to slacken as you felt nothing but him. A string of moans and screams left your lips, sounds that were primal and animalistic.
You had completely lost control of yourself, and it was all Azriel's doing.
"Fuck, yes," he snarled as he slammed into you, his pelvic bone rubbing deliciously against your clit with each movement. "That's it. Let me hear you. Let everyone hear how good your mate is fucking you."
Azriel's thrusts grew sloppy and unhinged as he neared his climax, his breathing ragged. His hair clung to his forehead in messy strands, his chest glistened with sweat- he was so beautiful like this. He looked totally fucked out of his mind, and you suddenly realized how lucky you were that he was yours.
"Cum for me, baby. Let me feel you," he pleaded, his eyes rolling back into his head.
Your body obeyed him, and you screamed as you came, scratching your nails deep into his back as pleasure coursed through your veins. That golden thread in your chest tightened as Az slammed into you one final time, a primal groan escaping his throat as he filled you with his seed.
You held his trembling body against you, your mixed releases trailing down your thighs. Azriel looked at you as if you were the center of his world, his being. "I love you," he whispered, leaning down to kiss your swollen lips.
Between you, that golden thread, that precious bond that linked you to him, glowed brightly.
---
The next morning, you and Azriel reluctantly pulled yourself out of his bed. He had kept you up most of the night with his lovemaking, and your body was quite sore from all the positions he had put you in.
When the two of you entered the dining room, starving from the night's... vigorous activities, Nesta and Cassian were already seated at the table. Nesta was smiling down at her food, while Cassian looked at you and Azriel with a gleam in his eyes.
"Mornin' you two," he said by way of greeting. "Sleep well?"
Azriel pulled out your chair for you, his eyes on Cassian. "We slept like babes."
Nesta chuckled, her eyes looking at you over the rim of her tea cup. "I wish we could say the same. Right, Cass?"
Horror filled your body, and you looked to Azriel's shadows for cover, pleading with them to shield you from Nesta and Cassian's teasing. They had heard you, and you wanted to die on the spot.
Azriel leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss on your cheek, his lips warm and soft on your skin. "Don't worry, love," he assured you. "Nesta and Cassian have no room to talk. I've had to listen to them, and smell them, for the last year." He turned his head to the other couple, his brows raised. "So go ahead and make fun. We will make it very hard for the two of you to get any sleep from now on."
You blinked at Azriel. Like you, he was quiet around others, and you were shocked at his words. You didn't think you had ever heard him say so much in the company of other people.
Nesta set down her cup, her eyes full of amusement. She looked over to her mate with a smile on her face. "I guess it's true what they say, Cass," she said, leaning back in her chair. "It's always the quiet ones."
general tag list: @quiet-loser @andreperez11 @lilah-asteria
@anarchiii @inkedinshadows @panther-girl-124
@scorpioriesling
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rafeandonlyrafe · 11 months
Text
live like a kook
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words: 5.2k
the camerons take you in after your house is destroyed in a hurricane, giving you a month to live like a kook
warnings: enemies to lovers, lots of pogues vs kooks dynamic, rafe being mean to reader, reader is john bs cousin, food insecurity/mentions of going hungry, cursing
taglist: @drewstarkeysbae @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @winterrrnight @slut4drudy @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs
“dad, this is fucking ridiculous. no way am i sharing my home with a fucking pogue.” rafe argues, his voice raising higher and higher as the fight goes on.
“well, get over it rafe. we are doing our part for the community, this girls house got destroyed in the hurricane, she’s staying here for the next month. end of story.” ward says firmly, hoping to temper his sons anger before you arrive.
“bullshit, you don’t care about helping the pogues, all you want is to look like a good guy.” rafe runs his hand through his hair, pushing it back off his forehead. “it’s not safe. we can’t trust them, what if she steals from us?”
ward pauses. it’s something he did think about, which is why he went through the house and hid the most valuable items, locking them away in a secret safe. “you keep an eye on her then, rafe.”
it’s the end of the conversation as ward walks out of the room, even after rafe continues after him, not accepting his dads solution. wards patience with his son is about to bubble over when the doorbell rings.
ward gives rafe a pointed look to calm himself down, or at least be quiet about his disdain as he opens up the door to reveal you standing there, only carrying a backpack, fitting all of your belongings after losing almost everything in the hurricane.
“hello, mr. cameron, i’m y/n.” you stick your hand out, accepting the firm but friendly shake ward gives you.
“y/n?”
you look around ward into the house, making eye contact with a shocked rafe.
“you didn’t tell me it was- her who was going to be staying here.” rafe spits, looking at his dad, nostrils flaring in anger.
“rafe, watch yourself.” ward warns, stepping back from the door and beckoning you over the threshold.
“hi rafe.” you say quietly. you had foolishly hoped that rafe wouldn’t mind you staying here. it’s not like you ever really interact, but you know that he doesn’t get along with your cousin john b.
ward gives you a tour of the house, introducing you to rose and wheezy, and the whole time rafe stalks behind you, silent and domineering. 
“thank you again for letting me stay here.” you say when ward shows you what is to be your room for the next month, situated between rafes and sarahs, who is currently out, probably with your cousin.
“of course.” ward says. “i’ll give you some time to unpack, we are serving dinner in around an hour.” “okay.” you nod, heading into your room, shutting the door carefully behind you. you glance around the opulent bedroom, so unlike what you are used to, large sweeping curtains covering the windows, sturdy wooden furniture, and best of all, the huge bed covering most of the floor.
you drop your backpack, letting yourself flop back onto the bed, letting out a laugh when you realize that even the ceiling is beautiful. 
you weren’t sure what to expect when you got told that there were some people opening up their homes for those who lost theirs due to the hurricane, but you certainly never expected it to be the camerons, or any other rich kooks.
you’re still smiling to yourself when your door bursts open. your eyes widen as rafe takes up the entire doorway, not asking permission before barging into your room and slamming the door forcefully behind him.
“hey!” you shout, swinging your legs to the side of the bed and turning to stare at rafe. 
“shut up.” rafe warns, quickly crossing the space between the door and the bed, hovering over you. “i want to make one thing very clear.” he holds up his pointer finger, pausing as you flicker your eyes from his hand back to his face. “do not touch anything in this house. if you steal like your loser pogue cousin, i will know. i will be watching you.”
rafe doesn’t say anything more, he doesn’t need to, turning and walking out of the room, leaving your door flung wide open, not bothering to even shut it behind him. you shiver at the warning, not that you planned on stealing, but you did plan on a peaceful stay here, and it seems like rafe is committed to the exact opposite.
you stand and shut your door, this time making sure to lock it.
--
“that’s screwed into the wall.” rafes voice suddenly rings down the hallway, making you jump away from the painting.
“i wasn’t going to steal it.” you grumble, crossing your arms. you were still familiarizing yourself with the house, spending some time wandering alone, but around every corner, rafe is there.
“then what were you doing staring it?” he questions.
“admiring the art, if that’s so hard to believe. yes, rafe,” you say with a sigh “even a dirty dumb pogue like me can appreciate a painting.”
“well then you don’t mind if i stand here and watch as you appreciate it.” rafe crosses his arms, muscles bulging. you turn back to the painting, looking over the landscape scene, but rafes eyes are drilling holes into you, and just like he wanted, you quickly get too frustrating, groaning and stomping away.
you head out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air and to look upon the ocean. 
“he’s an asshole.”
you jump, not realizing wheezie was in the hammock you stopped next to.
“what?” you question.
“rafe. he’s an asshole.” “you said it, not me.” you sigh, taking the hair tie off your wrist and pulling your hair into a ponytail as the wind picks up.
“just try and avoid him when he gets in his pissy moods. he’s not like this all the time.” wheezie gives you a piece of advice as she swings her legs over the side of the hammock, heading back inside.
you watch her until she’s all the way in, before glancing up and realizing that rafe is watching you as well. your brow scrunches in anger and you turn, not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you angry again.
you head towards the expansive dock, marveling at how far it stretches out into the ocean as you plop down on the wood, swinging your feet over the edge. your eyes are on the horizon as gray clouds roll in, probably a cell from the recent hurricane that broke off.
you keep your back turned to the house, not wanting to retreat yet as you watch the storm roll in, scenting the air change as the temperature drops. you wrap your arms around yourself to keep warm as the wind picks up, but the rain still hasn’t reached you yet.
you daydream about living in a house like tanneyhill. not for a month, but for your whole life. of getting out of your small cottage, now being rebuilt by your deadbeat dad, and living a life of luxury like the camerons.
strong hands grab onto your upper arms, pulling you to a standing position like you weigh nothing. “what are you doing?” rafe asks, shaking you slightly, his eyes wide with what you think might be worry.
“get off of me!” you shout, pulling yourself out of his hold.
“do you want to get yourself sick? it’s cold, and there’s a storm coming in. get inside.” rafe stares at you expectantly as the first sprinkles of rain starts to fall. you want to fight, to push back, but you also don’t want to get soaked, walking past rafe without acknowledging him as you both head into the house just before the downpour hits.
rafe doesn’t even glance at you as he pushes past, heading to his room.
--
“y/n, you wanna come with me?” sarah asks, slinging her bag over her shoulder, probably going to spend another night at john b’s. she’s been away from tanneyhill more often then she’s been here ever since you arrived.
you glance at rafe who is sitting on the couch, phone in hand. you’re not sure if he’s even paying attention to whats going on.
“sure.” you reply, “just give me a second to get changed.”
“alright, john b will be here in 5 minutes in the twinkie.” sarah heads outside to wait as you move up the stairs, taking off your leggings and opting for a pair of shorts instead, slipping your tennis shoes on.
you gasp in surprise when you open the door and run right into rafes wide chest.
“i heard you’re going to hang out with the dirty pogues.” rafe says, taking a step back when you push against his chest. you know he’s choosing to let you by, and if he wanted to he could have stood firm.
“in case you forgot, rafe-” you shoot him a pointed look as you head down the stairs. “i am one of those dirty pogues.” rafe stays put as you head outside, and you’re thankful to get some time away tanneyhill as the twinkie pulls down the street.
“hey, it’s my favorite cousin!” john b shouts when he sees you getting in along with sarah.
“john b, i’m your only cousin.” you roll your eyes, turning to watch out the window as tanneyhill disappears from view.
it’s nice to catch up with your friends and cousin, spending the afternoon relaxing and talking around a campfire. you are especially happy pope is here, always getting along so well with him.
“there they go again.” pope sighs when kiara starts to fight with jj, both of you rolling your eyes at each other, wishing they’d just work through whatever repressed feelings they have for each other.
“hey, john b, can you give me a ride back to tanneyhill?” you ask, noticing it’s start to get dark.
“aw, can’t you just stay here?” john b asks, his tongue obviously loosened by the beer he was sipping on. “i hate that my cousin is there, taking the kooks charity.” “just because you don’t want any help doesn’t mean that i can’t accept it.” you say, raising your voice. “besides, you knew our house got destroyed and you didn’t even reach out. you were too busy with sarah.”
you stomp away from the chateau, heading down the dirt driveway, determined to walk back to tanneyhill if john b wouldn’t give you a ride.
“y/n! wait!” if it was john b calling for you, you wouldn’t have stopped, but you turn to face sarah. 
“listen-” you interrupt her before she can speak. “i’m not mad at you. i’m not even mad at john b. i’ve just been through a lot and want to go ho- back to tanneyhill.” “i’m sorry.” sarah pulls you into a hug, one that you didn’t realize you needed that much. “john b’s probably too drunk to drive. i texted rafe to come pick you up.”
you sigh, trying not to let your disappointment show on your face. you really don’t want to spend time alone with rafe, but you thank her and tell her to tell rafe that you’re starting to walk so to keep an eye out on the way, figuring it would be better to distance yourself from the rest of the pogues before he got to you.
you spot rafes truck after walking for a few minutes, watching him slow to a stop before you climb into the passenger seat.
“thanks.” you whisper, not sure what else to say as rafe presses down on the gas. you expect him to turn back towards tanneyhill, but he’s driving you in a different direction.
“where are we going?” you ask.
“i doubt you ate anything good while you were with the pogues. you need to get some real food.” rafe pulls into town, finding a parking spot that would fit his truck.
“rafe, it’s okay, i’ll eat at tanneyhill.” you say, but he just gets out of the truck and walks around to your side, yanking the door open and gesturing for you to get out.
“i see what you eat at tanneyhill. it’s never real meals unless it’s what rose makes, and she’s out tonight with my dad. just come on.”
you slide out of the truck, watching rafes back as he walks away, expecting you to follow. you stay a few feet behind him until rafe turns into a restaurant, again holding the door open for you as you duck inside. it’s not one you’ve been to before, probably because it’s out of your price range.
“just the two of you?” the hostess asks. rafe nods in response, and you’re quickly shown back to a table.
“rafe, i-i can’t afford this.” you say when looking at the menu. you can’t even afford just an appetizer. 
“you don’t think i know that, pogue?” rafe rubs his brow. “i’ve got it, just eat, please.”
you study the menu, opting for a simple chicken and fries, along with mozzarella sticks. afterall, rafe is paying. he orders a burger for himself, not even glancing at the waitress who took your orders, like she's beneath him.
“did ward put you in charge of me or something?” you ask after sitting in an awkward silence for a few minutes, waiting on your food to be brought out.
“i don’t want to be sharing a house with someone who is sick because they refuse to eat right.” rafe says. “i don’t want to find you passed out because you didn’t get enough food.” rafe leans back in his chair, glancing over you. “that would just be an inconvenience.”
“ah.” you nod, keeping your eyes on the empty place in front of you until your food is brought out. your stomach growls at the smell, not realizing how hungry you truly were, so used to going all day without a true proper hot meal, surviving on snacks and whatever else you could find.
you dig into your food, moaning when the melted cheese enters your mouth after biting down on the mozzarella stick.
“hey!” you shout when rafe reaches across the table and takes one of the sticks, biting the end of it off. 
rafe just grins at you while chewing, making you shake your head in laughter. you continue eating your meal, not even realizing that you just had a nice moment with rafe until later that night when you’re laying in bed, reflecting on your evening with rafe. he didn’t make a big fuss when paying for the bill, simply sat his credit card down and didn’t mention how you were broke, then drove you back to the house and bid you goodnight upon entering tanneyhill.
you press your cold fingers to your cheeks, willing them to settle down as you shift underneath the covers, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself, reminding yourself that one nice thing doesn’t mean rafe doesn’t hate you, afterall, like he said himself, he just doesn’t want you to be an inconvenience.
--
“mr. cameron, i really don’t want to impose!” you say, but ward just shakes his head. “nonsense, y/n. you’re coming with us.”
“let me help you with your hair, dear, come on.” rose ushers you towards her bedroom. you give wheezie a pleading look, but there’s nothing that she can say to get you out of going to midsummers, not now that ward is determined to have you come with them, showing off how generous and charitable he is by taking you in.
you sit still as rose patiently straightens your wavy hair, only to recurl it, pinning sections up until it’s mostly swept out of your face besides for a few face framing strands, then cascading down your back.
“rose-” you breath catches in the mirror. “you did amazing, thank you.” you turn to look at the woman. “i’ve never had my hair done like this before.” “you look beautiful, y/n. it’s a pleasure to have you with our family tonight. i think sarah is in her bedroom doing her makeup, maybe she can put some on you too.”
you nod and head towards sarahs room. you didn’t want to go at first and be surrounded by kooks, but now that you have no choice, you might as well enjoy feeling beautiful for one night. sarah already leant you a dress, but she agrees to do your makeup as well, keeping it light and fresh before helping you sort out putting on the dress.
you look in the mirror at yourself, unable to resist twirling, the fluttery skirt of the dress billowing up on the bottom. 
“girls, it’s time to leave!” you hear ward call, and you finish off the outfit with a flower crown of pale pink flowers to match your dress before rushing out of the room.
you head down the stairs, gripping the railing so you don’t stumble in your borrowed heels. 
rafe looks up, ready to chastise you for taking so long, when his breath catches in his throat, eyes going wide.
“not too bad for a pogue, huh?” you question.
“you look…” rafe trails off, his soft expression quickly being replaced with an angry one, stomping out of the room without finishing his sentence. you resist the urge to chase after him.
you don’t see rafe until hours later. you’ve been paraded in front of all of ward and roses country club friends, but you just put on a smile and boast about their generosity. you’re not sure if anyone can see through the fakeness, but ward seems pleased, and finally lets you stop mingling to rest your tired feet.
you watch the crowd from the camerons reserved head table, feeling like such an outsider, knowing this isn’t where you belong, and if you weren’t scrubbed clean and dressed like them, the kooks would be turning their nose up at you. at least rafe is decent enough to not try and hide his hatred behind a nice face.
you spot rafe in the crowd, whisky glass in hand as he talks to his friends, a bright smile on his face that gives you a funny feeling in your chest. you rub the spot with your hand, willing it to go away as people clear out from standing on the dance floor as the music starts, a few brave couples being the first one to begin swaying to the music. 
you watch as ward and rose dance, eyebrows raising up when they turn their attention to you. “y/n, come on!” 
you consider ruining having a place to stay and sleeping on the street tonight, but you’ve put on a good act so far, you can continue it for a bit longer. you smile and walk over to them, expecting to be shoved into the arms of some random kook boy, but instead you’re ushered to rafe.
“dance, you two!” rose calls, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing waiter.
rafe holds his hand out, looking at you expectantly. you hesitate to place your hand in his, making rafe sigh. 
“you don’t know how to dance, do you pogue?” he questions.
“maybe i just don’t want to with you.” you place your hand in his, letting him tug you closer, his other hand resting against your waist while you grab onto his shoulder. you follow rafes lead, matching your footsteps with his as he sways you around the floor, glad the song is soft and gentle so you can just move slowly.
“see, this isn’t so bad.” rafe says, looking down at you.
“could be worse i suppose.” you hum, keeping your gaze straight forward at rafes chest as the song comes to an end.
the lights dim, and a romantic song comes on. you go to pull away from rafe, but he keeps you close to him, wrapping both arms around your waist and leaving you no choice but to put your arms around his shoulders.
you look to see all the other couples pressed close together, women with their head against their mens chest, some even kissing in the low lighting.
“just relax.” rafe whispers. “you’re so tight you’re gonna snap.”
you let your body relax in his hold, not realizing that you were clenching almost every muscle in your body. your head falls against rafes chest as you dance, letting yourself close your eyes and be swept away in the loving lyrics of the song, once again daydreaming about if this was actually your life.
the song ends far sooner than you’d like, and the lights brighten again. the crowd claps for a moment, but you’re locked into rafes arms, both of you now standing completely still. you can hear his steady heartbeat against your cheek, his breathing slow and deliberate.
“you look beautiful tonight.” rafe says, making you jump, almost forgetting who you are, and who he is. “that’s what i didn’t say earlier.” rafe clarifies, face falling when you look up at him in horror. you pull away from his arms, instantly missing his warmth as you run as fast as your heels can carry you out of the crowd, needing to get away from the music and the man.
you look down at your borrowed dress. you would rip it off or roll in dirt if you didn’t have to give it back to sarah, hating that this is what rafe finds beautiful. when you’re primped up to look like one of them, not the real you.
you find a dark corner to sit in until the party starts to disperse, and when you find the cameron family again, rafe isn’t with them, and no one mentions it as you pile in the car to head back to tanneyhill.
--
“are you sure you don’t want to come out on the boat with us, y/n?” wheezie asks you, but you shake your head.
“i’m okay, i’ll just stay back and read. i don’t want to impose, enjoy some time as a family.” you can tell already from being at the camerons for three weeks that they rarely do things as a family, at least one person, usually rafe or sarah, being left out.
“alright, i guess it’s you and rafe staying home. lets go!” ward calls, ushering the girls out of the room.
“wait, what?” you call, but they’re already out the door. you thought for sure rafe was going with him. you haven’t spoken a single word to each other in the past three days since midsummers. he’s barely even been around, you’ve just caught glimpses as he left for the day or came home.
you make a late breakfast for yourself, deciding since you’re basically home alone to fry up some bacon. you’re too nervous to use the kitchen for anything more than grabbing a quick snack when rose or ward are home.
you hum to yourself as the oil sizzles in the pan, finishing cooking your meal when you hear heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.
“rose, is that bacon?” rafe calls, entering into the kitchen with just a pair of basketball shorts on, freezing when he sees you.
“they all left.” you say, swallowing and resisting the urge to let your eyes track all over his torso. “but um, i made extra if you want some.” “yeah, let me just put a shirt on.” rafe walks away and you take the opportunity to fan your face, dividing the bacon up between two plates and sitting down at the counter, starting to eat when rafe rejoins you in the room.
you both eat side by side in silence, and you’re glad to not be talking. you finish your food, going to put your plate in the dishwasher when rafe takes it from you and does it for you.
“thanks.” you say under your breath, going to turn away when rafe clears his throat. “what is it?” you question, voice coming out harsher than you meant it to.
“i’m going to golf today. did you want to come with me?” rafe asks, not meeting your gaze.
“i- i don’t know how to golf.” you say as your way of refusal.
“right.” rafe nods, letting his shoulders drop.
“dirty pogue, remember?” you question.
rafe doesn’t say another word, he doesn’t even look at you as he leaves the room. you watch him walk away before closing yourself in your room, only moving to peek out the window when you hear his truck start up, watching it speed away from the house.
--
“y/n, you have a visitor.” ward says, ushering you towards the front room. you stand up, confused, not sure who would be visiting. it’s not like you have any friends who would come to tanneyhill.
“dad!” you shout in surprise, seeing him standing in the foyer, looking out of place in his dirty shorts and tank top.
“hey, y/n.” he says casually, like it hasn’t been four weeks since he saw you last, shipping you off to stay with a kook while he fixed up the hurricane damage on your house.
“what are you doing here?” you question, looking to the base of the stairs where rafe is stood on the bottom steps, arms crossed and watching the interaction with a scowl on his face.
“i finished fixing up the house enough for you to come home.” 
“oh.” you nod. you’d completely forgotten in your time here that you were only staying for a month, and that of course your dad would be here to collect you. “let me just get my things.” you force yourself to turn away and rush up the stairs, letting a few tears slip. you don’t want to go back to staying in a broken down house, and you especially don’t want to stay with your dad, having to fend for yourself completely while he spends all your money on drinks at the bar, not even leaving you enough for food.
you head into your room, wiping away tears as you shove things into your bag, including some clothes sarah was going to donate but she gave to you instead.
you control your breathing and stop your tears before you head downstairs, making eye contact with rafe as you walk down, unable to read the emotion on his face.
“thank you again, mr and mrs cameron for letting me stay here.” you say politely, and the both pull you into awkward hugs. 
“and bye, wheezie.” you squeeze the teenager against you, whispering a promise to come back and hang out.
you turn to rafe as your father walks out the door. you can’t find any words, so you simply turn and leave.
--
“dad, i need to buy food.” you argue. “i’m starving!” “you just want to pig out on fast food! we have things here you can eat!” your dad slurs his words, gesturing to the broken down kitchen. there wasn’t as much done in the month that you were gone that you were hoping for. he’s cleaned up the hurricane damage in most of the rooms, but tree that fell onto your bedroom is still there, simply hidden by a closed door, relegating you to sleeping on the old couch.
you curse as your dad stumbles into his bedroom, opening the kitchen cabinets to look for something edible before landing on a packet of saltine crackers.
you take the packet outside along with a water bottle, needing to get away from that house and your father. you sit down on the swing hanging from a high tree branch, crunching on the crackers as you listen to the birds chirping.
the mockingbirds song is interrupted by the rumble of an engine, and you turn towards your driveway, shooting up to stand when you recognize the truck getting closer.
you walk towards the truck, confused at why rafe is here, wondering if maybe you left something at tanneyhill, but it’s already been two weeks since you left. maybe he only just now bothered to return it.
rafe gets out of the truck, his eyes wide as he takes you in.
“how are you already so skinny?” rafe questions, taking the saltine cracker out of your hand and looking at it with disdain. “is this all you have to eat?”
“rafe, what are you doing here?” you question, snatching the precious cracker back.
“i-fuck!” rafe runs both his hands through his hair, “i was worried! and look at you! is he feeding you at all?” “rafe, calm down. you’ll wake him up.” you try and shush him, but it just makes rafe angrier.
“wake him up? does he hurt you? y/n.” rafe grips your upper arms, staring you straight in the eye, needing to know if what he suspects is true.
“what? no, rafe. he just drinks then passes out, he’s never hit me.” you’re still confused why rafe is even here. 
“get in the truck, i’m getting you food.” rafe demands, and your mind says no, but your rumbling stomach has your feet moving. you climb into the passenger side, looking at your broken down home thats truly no more than a shack. you wonder what rafe must feel seeing it as he gets in and starts the truck, backing out of the driveway.
you bring your knees up to your chest, letting your head fall as you sob silently. rafe doesn’t realize that you’re crying until your body starts to shake. he stops the truck in the middle of the dirt road, not caring if it blocks anyone else.
“y/n?” rafe questions, unsure how to get you to stop crying, worrying that it’s his fault.
“i don’t wanna go back there.” you admit, looking up at rafe, letting him see the messy state you’re in.
“fuck it.” rafe sighs, unbuckling both of your seatbelts and pulling you onto his lap, wrapping his strong arms around you as you press your face into his shoulder, letting your tears run free, not caring about the wet stains you’re making on his clothes.
“it’s okay.” rafe rubs his hand up and down your back. “you don’t have to go back there. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. i’m here.”
you cry harder, wrapping your arms around rafes waist, keeping yourself close to him, letting yourself find comfort in his arms.
“i’m here, y/n.” rafe whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.
you look up at him, tears still flowing down your face. “why? why are you here?” “i told you…” rafe cups your cheek, trying to wipe away the tears but they just keep flowing. “i was worried. i had to come check on you… please stop crying.”
rafes words do nothing to stop the deluge, and he’s starting to freak out, hating seeing you so upset, knowing you need some sort of distraction as your breathing speeds up, starting to hyperventilate until rafes lips are pressed against your own.
you’re momentarily confused, hesitating for a split second before kissing back, letting rafe dominate your mouth as you concede, the tears slowing to a stop as he keeps kissing you.
“rafe!” you gasp when he pulls away. “you just kissed me.” “i know.” rafe wipes his palms over your cheeks, and this time theres no fresh tears to replace it. “i care about you y/n. it’s why i came. i missed you.”
“oh, rafe.” you lean forward, letting him hug you tight, squeezing your bodies together.
“i’m here.” rafe whispers again, not letting you spiral, reminding you as many times as it takes that you’re not alone, that you have him now.
“now,” rafe gives your forehead a kiss, “we need to get you some real food. what are you hungry for? pizza?”
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erwinsvow · 5 months
Text
introducing... bitchy reader!
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rafe never pays attention to sarah’s friends. new yet similar faces seem to make the rounds through tannyhill every week; the place was a revolving door. the occasional familiar girl would say hi to him, which would of course be ignored since he doesn’t care enough to say hi back.
so naturally, you become the exception to his little rule.
you and sarah are on opposite sides of the counter, flicking through magazines and taking sips from overpriced iced coffees, when he overhears a conversation that makes him stop and listen.
“-and he’s not like topper, like, at all. he’s really nice and actually talks to me instead of at me-”
“wow,” he hears you say, dragging out the syllables and sarcasm dripping from your voice. “such standards you have. no, really.”
“shut up. he’s totally sweet-” sarah says, but you interrupt her.
“he’s, like, totally a dirty pogue.” that catches his attention—not just the fact that there’s something going on between his sister and some pogue, but the way you say the sentence, how the words sound coming from your mouth. 
you nearly sound like rafe.
“that is so rude-”
“what? i’m just being honest. i’d be a bad friend if i didn’t tell you the truth.”
“what truth?” his sister questions.
“that you’re settling for some pogue boy because you’re bored of top. i get it. if i was dating him i’d be bored enough to fuck a pogue too.”
rafe cringes at the topic even though your word choice makes him laugh—topper is boring, though he doesn’t think he’s heard anyone else bring it up until now. he steps back into the doorway, watching the two of you. the crass words are coming from you, dressed in a sunny yellow dress and tapping pretty pink nails against the counter. 
“hey! i’m not bored-”
“you mean, you like hearing about his boat and golf every single day?”
“he has other hobbies! like-”
“like what?” you pause, watching sarah’s expression before giving her a pointed look—a look that says told you so. “who are you really trying to convince right now?” you flip through another magazine, finding something that must have caught your eye. you lift it to show sarah—some pinked striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers on the pages. “don’t i totally need this?”
“shut up.”
“that’s what someone says when they know the other person’s right,” you say with a mocking smile, setting down the magazine. he’s watching the whole thing—you’re funnier than he would have thought. “and if you change your mind just go to country club. top’s dime a dozen there.” the two of you start laughing. 
“i’m not gonna change my mind-”
“that’s what you said when you started dating topper,” you say it deadpan, and rafe holds back a laugh.
“-because he’s really nice. he’s a good guy.”
“ugh, sarah. making out with a dirty pogue at a bonfire is one thing. you’re talking like you’re in love. get a grip.”
“what? what’s so wrong with that?” sarah asks, taking a sip of her drink.
“because you can’t be in love with someone you have to hide your valuables around.” that’s when he decides to walk in—sarah sputtering on her drink while you roll your eyes.
“and what’re you girls talkin’ about?” rafe asks, and two sets of eyes turn to look at him. you look at him a little confused—in all the years you’ve known sarah and times you’ve been at tannyhill, rafe’s never once spoken to you.
“i don’t think it’s any of your business-” his sister says, and then he rolls his eyes. you interrupt right away.
“sarah, it’s okay.” you turn to rafe, looking right at him and leaning in a little like you’re gonna tell in something. “it’s really not any of your business.”
blank face, trying to be annoyed but not actually feeling annoyed, he stares back at you. his sister laughs stupidly, heading into the living room. she leaves you alone with rafe in the kitchen, but as you grab your drink and try to follow sarah, rafe says something.
“y’know i heard that shit you were sayin’. you’re funny, kid.” you turn back to look at rafe.
“thanks. i wasn’t joking.”
“yeah. good. at least one of my sister’s friends has ‘er head screwed straight.” you laugh, but the look on your face says you didn’t think it was funny.
“are you trying to compliment me? by insulting all my other friends?” he wasn’t expected that retort.
“no. no, i-”
“maybe if your friend wasn’t such a shit boyfriend, sarah wouldn’t be talking to some pogue. but hey, what do i know?”
“hey, kid, i-”
“don’t call me that.” you roll your eyes, walking to the living room without even glancing back at rafe. he calls out after you again.
“so have you?” you pause, turning again.
“have i what?” “made out with some pogue at the bonfire.” he shrugs. “that’s what you said to sarah, isn’t it?”
“again, how is that any of your business?” you ask, cocking your head at him.
“that’s not an answer.”
“i don’t owe you an answer. but for the record, no, i haven’t. i actually have standards.” he doesn’t miss the remark and what it says about his sister.
“good,” rafe says, looking at you. his eyes rake over your body before he can stop it—your short hem, the jewelry dangling on your wrists and neck, the heels even though you hadn’t gone anywhere.
“shut up. weirdo.” you walk to the living room where sarah’s waiting for you.
rafe’s gonna have a hard time staying away from you.
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alexa-fika · 5 months
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HEY! HEY! HEYYY! IT'S MEE
Anyways today is now birthday 😍🎂 (A.k.a April 4)
Can I request a whitebeard pirates x fem child reader?
Like the reader is like nezuko from demon slayer
Let's say that reader comes with ace to find a cure
So basically ace was figthing jinbe and whitebeard arrives and then ace and whitebeard starts fighting until ace pass out but before ace can pass out reader attacks then because she's very protective of her family 🥺
Then they basically distract reader so that they can aboard ace into the ship then out of nowhere reader starts running around because the sun was rising and she has no option but to go with the whitebeard pirates
So basically everyone was suspicious because why was reader wearing a muzzle? And why does reader only comes out in the night or stays in shades?
But if anyone tries to question ace gets really defensive because he thinks they'll kill reader because she's a demon
So in the end whitebeard first found out then Marco then thatch (f u Blackbeard) then izou then everyone?
Thank youuuuu ✨✨
Demonically adorable (Whitebeard pirates x f!child!reader!)
Part 2 (Reactions)
A/N, im not gonna lie cosmo, I was totally gonna skip this one and leave it for later but I got to actually reading and looking back at when ace joined and omg the ideas just started flowing, some things are not exactly as your prompt or don’t go as in depth so I really hope you enjoyed this, because I certainly enjoyed writing it
Reader here is replaced by dokucha which stands for Reader in Japanese
Dividers by @/saradika
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Dokucha's eyes widen as she runs towards Ace, trying to shake him awake, growling at the giant in front of them
“Hmm? So he has a little brat with him?”
The only response he receives is the sound of hisses and growls behind the child’s muzzle
“Back down, Dokucha, you’re no match for him…my father’s rival,” he grunts out
“I won’t lose,” he growls, beginning to stand up and ignoring the worried fussing of the child
“Heh, so you've still got some fight left, huh? Look, I'm not going to kill you today; you are far too valuable to someone to die here”, the man said, gesturing at the small child next to him
“Join me and become my son,” he says, reaching out his hand to the flame man
“Don’t screw with me, old fart,” he growls, slapping his hand away and launching himself toward the Emperor, only to be knocked back
Dokucha let out a sound close to a cry as she ran towards Ace, trying to shake him awake once again, snapping her head up at the sound of Whitebeard’s steps approaching them
She growls, standing in front of Ace, shielding him, her eyes shrinking to slits as the man continues to approach the two, her eyes glancing behind him as a blue flame approaches them
She watches as a blue flame grows closer until she is able to discern the shape of a bird landing next to the man
“Are we taking him with us?” He asks, glancing at Whitebeard
“Yes, he’s knocked out. He will be no problem, but I reckon the little one won’t go as easily.”
“I can handle her, Pops; Thatch will take care of the boy and his crew.”
“So I said, but you aren’t making this easy,” he sighs, evading another lunge from the girl
“And here I thought the other one would be the troublesome,” he spoke, catching a kick that he sent his way and pushing her back
She catches herself, gripping the ground with all fours as she immediately leaps towards him again, growling at him and showcasing the sharp canines now on full display, the muzzle long gone as her body begins to mature rapidly.
He quirks his head at that,
“That body of yours, is it the Toshi-toshi no mi?” He questions, flying out of the way to avoid her attack
She grits her teeth, looking at the airborne phoenix, preparing to jump up to meet him in the air until he suddenly flew down and trapped her between his talons
He hums, glancing at her expression, noting how the angry expression she had worn at the beginning had shifted to a worried one as she kept glancing around, presumably looking for Where they had taken Ace
“Hey,” he calls, frowning as she ignored his call as she tried to free herself
“Oi, Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you,” he hollered, trying to settle her down
“You’re just trying to protect him, right?”
She pauses her attempts to free herself at the question
“We’re not going to hurt him; all the contrary, we want to help him,” he explained, huffing as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously
“I promise,” he said, returning his upper body to his human form as he raised his hands in a surrendering motion
“Listen, how about I take you to him? You can stay with him, and we can talk about this in the morning.”
She looks at him, nodding, as her body slowly returns to her original childish state
He kept her for a few seconds, trying to determine if she was really giving up, removing his talons when it was clear she had no more fight on her
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She yawned, glancing around her to take in the room she was in; remembering the events of last night, she jumped off the bed, grabbing her umbrella, and poking her head outside of the room.
“Hey, pumkin’, I see you’re awake,” a voice pipes in
She looks towards the voice, spotting a man dressed in Chef clothes smiling back at her
She looks at him for a few moments before reaching one of her hands towards him, opening and shutting it as her other hand held the umbrella
He grins and easily picks her up
“What’s with the umbrella sweetpea?”
She points her hand up
“Hmm? The sun?”
She nods
“Are you sensitive to sunlight?”
Another nod
“Well, I’ll be damned, Marco did mention you were quite unique,” he said, looking her over, deciding not to comment on the bamboo piece between her teeth
“But just as cute, aren't ya, darlin?” He said, tickling her neck
Muffled giggles escape her at the action as she nuzzles deeper into him, trying to escape the sudden attack
They both turn at the sound of a door slamming open, looking as a disheveled Ace left the room, looking around, confused
“Looks like sleeping beauty finally woke up; how about we go say hi?
She leans the umbrella against his shoulder to free her hand as she pulls at his clothes
“Something wrong?”
She points at Ace, puts her hands together, leans her head against it in a sleeping motion, and then puts her wrists together, joining and separating her hands
“A sleeping crocodile?”
She shakes her head, repeating the motions
“Are you… are you trying to say he is snappy when he wakes up?”
She beams, nodding her head
He snickers at that
“I like you,” he said, walking closer to Ace as he threw himself against the walls of the ship, sliding all the way down and gripping his head only to snap it up at the sound of Thatch’s voice
“Hey, there; I'm Whitebeard’s fourth division commander, Thatch. I'm a good friend to have if you’re going to be joining us he said, sitting down on the railing, gingerly placing Dokucha on his lap
“Shut up!” He growls
“And give me back my sister he said, standing up and snatching the small girl from him, returning from his previous position as he hugged her
“Hahaha! She was right; you are kind of snappy when you wake up,” he teased as he continued to explain what had happened when he passed out, teasing him further when he questioned the lack of restraints on him, replying that such a thing was not needed on him.
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The next few weeks were but a blur to the small girl, every day following the same pattern for a while. Every day, Ace would ask her to stay behind as he would go after Whitebeard only to be launched back repeatedly. During these times, Dokucha took to bonding with the different brothers on the ship, as they cared for her when Ace was busy with his assassination attempts.
“How many times has it been already?” Questioned Vista as he watched as once again Ace was thrown out of the Captain’s quarters
“More than a hundred”
“How could such a sweet thing be able to deal with that hothead, always madder than a wet hen, ain't that right pumkin’?” Thatch questions as he bounced the small girl on his legs, smiling at the muffled laughs that escaped her.
“Stop moving so much, Izou,” grumbled as he continued to work on the girl’s hair upon her request
“There you go,” he said, backing up with a smile
She beamed, jumping off Thatch’s lap and twirling around, showcasing her new hairdo
“Say, how come you wear that muzzle all the time?” Someone questions
“Mind your own business,” Ace grumbled, dripping wet as he passed them and snatching the small girl up as he went, who gave the men behind her a wave as she left
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“I think your brother should be about done with his daily attempt. Should we get this to him?” Marco questioned the girl on his hip as his other hand held a bowl of soup, smiling as she bounced her head up and down
He chuckles at the action as he exits the kitchen and walks over to the spot where Ace laid, gently putting Dokucha and the bowl of soup next to him
A whine escaped the girl as he left, running after him as he took his leave
“Hey, what’s wrong? You can stay here with Ace. “ his actions differed from his words as he picked up the child again
“Tell me, why do they call him pops?” Ace grumbled, watching the interaction between the first mate and his sister
“Because he calls us sons, it’s just a word, but it’s nice, isn't it? Most of us are hated by everyone and don’t have families of our own, so that alone means everything to us,” he said, watching him for a moment and sighing, walking over to him and kneeling down, placing the girl next to them
“Hey, when are you going to stop this? I'm sorry to rain on your parade, but you aren’t strong enough to kill him, so you have two options: leave and start anew or stay and bear Whitebeard’s mark on your back,” he spoke
“Do try to keep your sister in mind when you make your choice, will you?
I do hope you decide to stick around; we’ve grown fond of the little miss.”
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Ace found himself deep in thought; it seemed like only a day ago he had been mulling over if he would stay or if he would go; now he found himself mulling over if he should become a commander under Whitebeard or not; he glanced behind him as Dokucha ran circles between Marco and Thatch, the men struggling to keep up with her zigzagging.
He sighed as he made his final decision.
“Dokucha, come here”
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So I don’t have full fledged scenarios on the reactions the crew members would react to the news but I do have already thought out how they would react so maybe I can do it in a headcannon format? 👀 Also I really tried to lean in into southern Thatch, without making it too much, what do yall think?
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
@amethystviolin
@h0n3y-l3m0n05
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cryptidghostgirl · 7 months
Note
Can I request a part 3 to "unrequited"?
A/N I honestly was not planning another part to this story. I'm just gonna... leave this here. (Pls don't hate me guys. This is so genuinely the only path I could think of for this story that I liked.)
Unrequited pt. 3 (Alastor x Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Um. Alastor is dark/yandere in this part. Uh. Unhealthy relationship. Yeah.
Word Count: 2,094
Previous Parts:
Unrequited (Alastor x Reader)
Unrequited Pt. 2
Master Lists:
Master Lists 
Hazbin Hotel Master List
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Alastor had cornered her in the hall. The years, the games, the challenges, none of it was fun anymore. It all came to an end tonight. There was no other option, not when she could die tomorrow. The angels were coming, and they were coming for the hotel.
"I don't want you here tomorrow."
"What!?" Y/n exclaimed in utter shock.
She hadn't known what to expect when Alastor had stopped her as she made her way downstairs to the bar. Everyone was supposed to be having a drink together, celebrating their afterlives that there was a chance they might loose. She didn't know what to expect but, she certainly hadn't expected this.
Alastor had been acting weird lately. He was always weird but ever since the day with Husk in the hallway, he'd been weird even by those standards. He was always finding something for Y/n to do that put her near him, always watching. It was irritating. They had been fighting a lot and Alastor still had yet to apologize to Husk.
"I don't want you at the hotel tomorrow. You are not coming near this fight."
"What the fuck, Alastor?" Y/n nearly stamped her foot on the floor, she crossed her arms and glared at the demon, "I... these are my friends. This is my home. I will do what I can to protect it."
"No, you wont. You wont be here." he paused, "I will use our little deal to make sure of that, if need be."
Y/n scoffed. Her anger was a fiery, radiant thing. Alastor found himself thinking she had always reminded him quite a bit of a lioness when she got like this. The thought had been an accident, he couldn't afford to be distracted. Not when these were the stakes. Alastor pushed it away.
"You fucking... literally why? Like, what? I... sorry, just taking me a bit to process this: the demon who tricked me into selling my soul to them is now going to use that contract to take me, a valuable asset, out of a war which we cannot afford to loose?"
"Yes." Alastor nodded.
"Because?" Y/n prompted in irritation after a moment.
Alastor sighed.
"Y/n, think about what could happen if you are here."
"The same thing that could happen to any one here!" Y/n threw her arms up in exasperation, gesticulating her frustration as she spoke, "The same thing you're forcing on Husk and Nifty, have you had this chat with either of them?"
Alastor didn't respond. It was all the answer she needed.
"Yeah, I didn't fucking think so!" she scoffed, "So it's okay for everyone to risk their lives -- it's okay for you to risk your life even, but not me? Its okay for you to force my friends to risk their lives, but you're going to force me to stay out of it? Listen to yourself, you sound ridiculous."
"We don't need your help. You're slow, you will only hold us back."
The comment he had hope would dampen Y/n's spirit, bend her will into submission, only added to her fire.
"I'm... that's bullshit and we both know it. I might be small, but so is Nifty. Everyone has skills they can offer. I know how to fight, how to survive, and we will have angelic weapons for Christ's sake. Like, I really don't understand what the issue your having is here."
"Y/n, just... no." Alastor shook his head, a hand to his temples, "No. You will not be here tomorrow. I forbid it. I'm sending you to stay with Rosie."
"What am I, your kid?" Y/n sneered.
Alastor looked over at her, his hand falling from his forehead.
"Just please, Y/n." he took a step forward, pulling her hands into his. Alastor took a deep breath. "For me."
Y/n's eyes went wide. Alastor could see the conflict, the swirling emotions. Anger turned to grief, mixed with gratitude, and became anger again. A never ending cycle.
His heart pounded against his chest, it fought him valiantly for release. It had been so long. So long since she'd looked at him with anything other than disgust, so long since she had let him touch her like this.
Y/n settled on confusion as her dominant emotion and pulled her hands from his grasp. Alastor mourned the contact, his hands still held up in the air where hers had met them as Y/n took a step away.
"Why."
It wasn't a question. Y/n commanded information and at the end of the day, he may own her soul but she owned his heart. Alastor felt like in some way, she always had. He couldn't bear the thought of loosing her but, he didn't know if he could handle the rejection either. There was no way, no chance, she would believe him if he told her too much of the truth but, lying wouldn't work either. It would have to be a careful balance, a calculated withholding of information. Too much was riding on tomorrow, on tonight, on this very moment.
"Because I don't want you to die."
Y/n's brow furrowed even further, their eyes growing wider still as she stumbled another step back. Her back was nearly against the wall now, there wasn't anywhere else she could go.
Her eyes flitted around the space fervently. Her lips formed words that never left her mouth. Alastor watched, stress eating him alive. At last, Y/n did something. She brought her hands to her head and sunk to the floor, her knees pulled into her chest.
"What are you doing to me." she muttered softly, just barely loud enough for him to hear.
For what felt like the thousandth time, Alastor felt a little piece of his heart fracture off. He didn't know how much more he could take of this before there was nothing left to break, nothing left to loose. She looked up at him, her hands still holding either side of her head and her eyes wet with tears.
"Why do you care?"
Alastor's breath caught in his throat. There was an insistence in her voice, a pleading. He stood in indecision for a moment, frozen by want, by need, by fear. His body took over as he took a step towards Y/n. Alastor kneeled down in front of her.
With great care, with a familiarity and gentleness Y/n hadn't felt from him in years, Alastor untangled her fingers from her hair. He held her hands in his once again and this time, he wasn't going to let go.
"Because I care about you."
Shock at his own bravery emanated from his chest. Alastor held his breath.
"You..." Y/n's eyes hardened, "I wish you'd stop messing with my head like this. Its not funny."
"Y/n, I'm not messing. I am not playing a game, I'm not..." Alastor sighed, letting go of one of Y/n's hands and running his hand through his hair as he looked to the side.
Taking a deep breath, he turned back to face her, grabbing her free hand once again.
"I don't know what I can do to prove it to you, that I'm not. But I will keep you safe. No matter what, you will not be here tomorrow."
"Please, Alastor."
His heart stopped. He couldn't recall the last time she'd asked him for anything that wasn't to leave her, Husk, and Nifty, alone. He couldn't recall the last time she'd seemed to fragile in his arms.
"Please, they're... they're my family. I can't..." a single tear rolled down Y/n's cheek, "I can't just leave them."
"I..."
There was a moment, a split second where he almost agreed. Alastor's eyes narrowed. He dropped Y/n's hands and got back to his feet. She adjusted her position in response, nearly kneeling before him.
"Please, Alastor. Let me help them. Let me do what I can to protect my family. Please. I'll do anything you want... I'll..."
It almost worked. Alastor felt his purpose waver again. Then the fear came back. He had already lost so much. His mother, his humanity, his own soul and free will. Alastor refused to add Y/n to the list of things that were so far out of his reach. He just couldn't. He didn't care if she hated him for the rest of eternity, as long as it meant she was safe at his side.
"No." he shook his head, his heart hardening, "You forget, you already have to do whatever I want. You forget, I own you."
Y/n's scream of anger as the shadows took her was muffled as she was sucked into their portal. Alastor stood, watching the spot she had been in for a few moments and then, he doubled over in pain. It shot through him in spikes, in daggers. It was the first time he had told her that. Not once before had Alastor ever said those three words to Y/n, not even when they had first made their deal. I own you.
The guilt, the regret, all of it underpinned by the overwhelming love. It had been trapped for so long, so sheltered and pushed back in the recesses of his mind that it had twisted. The love had become obsessive, dangerous, hungry.
With a breath, Alastor stood straight once again. Pushing his composure back to the surface, he smoothed his hair and went down to the bar to inform everyone of his decision. He may have forced Y/n to do something she didn't want to, fracturing things further than he'd believed possible, but he wasn't going to blame her for it. Alastor was used to being the villain and hopefully, in this case, he wouldn't have to be. Hopefully, they would understand.
Y/n gasped for breath as she was let out of the shadow portal. Panting on all fours, slowly she brought herself back together. Y/n had met Rosie before, once or twice. She knew she was a kind soul at heart, a reasonable person, and she knew that Rosie's cannibals were the main force of their army tomorrow. All she had to do was convince the overlord to let her join them, and it would be okay.
Taking a deep breath to restore her confidence, Y/n looked up. Her heart dropped.
"No."
She got to her feet, looking carefully around the decrepit old radio tower.
"No. Nonono."
Her breaths becoming panicked, she ran to the door. It was locked. Taking a step back, she kicked it harshly. The firm wood didn't budge.
Driven by adrenaline alone, Y/n ran to the windows and began to hit them with all her might. None of them so much as trembled.
"No!"
She looked wildly around the space and, spotting Alastor's chair, picked it up. Y/n hurled it at the window. There was a crash and for a split second, there was hope. That was until she realized it was the chair that had broken, not the window.
"No! No!"
Turning back to the door, she hurled her body repeatedly against it. Each time, she got the biggest running start she could. Each time, there was no change at all, nothing happened. Fresh tears pooled in her eyes, she was long past panicked now.
"NO!"
After about twenty minutes, Y/n was out of breath and exhausted. Her whole body hurt and her face was sticky with tears. She sat at the door, her back pressed against it and her knees pulled into her chest. Burying her face in her legs, she sobbed.
Everyone was at the hotel, except for her. Everyone was preparing to fight for and protect what they loved, except for her. What would they think? What would they say? Much more importantly, would they make it out?
A sudden fear gripped her, a fist around her heart. Would she ever see any of them again? Y/n's sobs redoubled.
"Fucking..."
She sniffed, her panic and grief quickly fixing itself back in the shape of the familiar anger. She could see him in her minds eye, that moment his eyes had softened, that moment she thought that maybe he had been telling the truth all along, that they really had been friends, that he really did care.
"I hate you Alastor!" she screamed to herself, alone in the dark, "I hate you and I will continue to hate you until the day I fucking die again!"
----
A/N I love an irredeemable villain and doomed, misshapen love. I'm sorry to anyone who wanted this to end up happy.
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princessbrunette · 7 months
Note
how do you think would rafe react when crybaby!reader gets upset when he unintentionally hurts her feelings and she’s serious upset and not adorable upset? yk what i mean? like suddenly he’s realizing she’s not being dramatic but really hurt🎀
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i feel as though season one rafe would do this the most often. season 2 rafe is very intentional with his words because he’s learnt to be more careful not to get himself in trouble, esp towards the end of season 2 when he’s spending a lot of time with limbrey and her brother and you can see him acting a lot more grownup. season 3 rafe is actually fairly gentle, especially around women — he’s figured out how to conduct himself and is very set on changing his ways which is why he’s very respectful towards sofia and also very mindful of kiaras space when they were trapped at singhs together — if she flinched when he’d come too close he’d immediately stop approaching or he’d slow his movements and put his hands up to show it was okay. season one rafe however, doesn’t give a fuck how anyone feels really.
most importantly, he doesn’t know how to have a girlfriend yet. i was speaking about this last night in dms with indy — and it seems very clear that he doesn’t get how to handle you yet. he doesn’t seem like he’d understand that he needs to take you on dates still once you’re in a relationship or ask you to be his valentine etc, not seeing the point of it. so i can definitely see him messing up and hurting your feelings really bad.
he’s very much a boy, and likes to do boy shit with his friends. stand around and drink beer and talk and watch the game. he doesn’t mind you being there, but if he’s wrapped up in conversation with his friends he kinda doesn’t care so much if you’re there because he’s happy doing his thing. say you’re at the country club and this is happening, your boyfriend laughing and being obnoxious with his pals. you’d approach and he’d give you a little side hug, pulling you to his side but he’d continue talking to his friends and not so much you.
“what are you guys doing?” you ask quietly to just him and he glances your way.
“uh, just hanging out? you didn’t find any of your little friends to talk to?” his hand drops to your lower back and you blink up at him obviously.
“yeah they’re here just… wanted to be with you?” you furrow your eyebrows and he briefly laughs at something kelce said, only offering you half of his attention before looking at you again.
“well we’re just doing guy stuff, a’ight? go hang with them. don’t need to hover around me, i’ll just come get you when we’re leavin’.” its an offhand comment, but your face immediately falls. ‘hovering around him’? when the two of you were alone he often demanded all of your attention, but now with his friends here it was like he didn’t care at all. to add salt to the burn, he gives your ass a little pat and let’s go of you. “go on.” he hurries you along.
you feel that hot feeling in your chest and you can feel yourself getting upset. “i think im going to go home.” you’re polite as you can be but your voice shakes and it catches his attention, following you when you take a few steps, still half smiling.
“wh— are you serious? why?”
you avoid his eye like you don’t even know him, lifting a shoulder and brushing him off. “just— just want to.” he watches you wipe your tears away as you leave the club, and he sighs in confusion, taking a sip of his beer.
topper was actually the one to teach him about how to handle an emotional girlfriend. he sighed out a “i don’t understand this girl, man.” when you were out of sight and after some convincing— rafe learned the valuable lesson of grovelling. he shows up at your door an hour later, pink in the face from being in the sun and a little warm and sweaty.
“uh, can i come in?”
he lets you cry into his chest as he squints at the wall in confusion trying to understand you. he did love you, believe it or not — he just didn’t have a way with words.
“look okay, you know when i say shit i don’t mean it, alright? i’m a guy it’s — it’s just what we do. i didn’t mean for you to take it that way.” he cups your face, a strand of his pushed back hair fallen onto his forehead.
“you hurt my feelings.” you mewl, and his heart does infact melt a little, blinking rapidly as he sighs in frustration with himself.
“whats gonna make this better? huh? you— you wanna punch me or something?” he asks desperately which actually gets a giggle from you. “well what then?”
“just want you to like me.” you sigh sadly and he stares at you dumbly.
“i do. so now what?”
“prove it.” you huff and he shakes his head a little, dumbfounded.
“prove i— okay.” he grabs your face, pulling you in for a kiss.
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maiiuelle · 4 months
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Now I'm picturing the opposite: Mermaid!reader bringing jj something she thinks is really valuable but is kind of worthless. but jj sees how excited and hopeful she is so he pretends it's valuable and carries it around in his pocket all the time so she'll see that he likes it. and then with time it ends up being one of his favourite things he owns because it reminds him of her 🙊
ooo i love thiss!! opposite of this ask :)
jj is relaxing on the warm sand after a long day of surfing, watching you run around the beach in search of shells to bring home as a souvenir. since leaving the sea, your obsession with exploring has only grown, especially with so many new things to find on land.
it’s not long until you’re running back over to him with something tucked safely in your fist. “jayj! i got somethin’ for youu.” you drop to your knees beside where he’s sitting, your hand hidden behind your back.
“oh yeah? lemme see.”
you pull out a handful of sand and seashells, but you carefully pick out a shard of green sea glass, dull at the edges and translucent from tumbling around in the surf. you’re practically shaking you’re so excited, eyes locked on his face in anticipation for his reaction.
as always, his face lights up. truthfully, he doesn’t care what you bring him, just the fact that you want to give him anything is enough to melt his heart. “oh wow, look at that!” he holds his calloused hand out for you to drop it into his palm so he can take a closer look.
“you like it?” you smile, putting it in his hand while you shove the rest of the shells back into your pocket.
“uh, yeah! ‘course i do, cupcake.” jj slips it into the pocket of his cargo shorts where it stays from then on. he pulls it out if he needs a reminder of you, which is really any time you’re apart. it’s mostly just that he likes you so much, but there’s always a twinge of anxiety about something happening to you. you’re curious, but really oblivious — if you got yourself into trouble, or if someone discovered your secret, he doesn’t know what he’d do. the way his thumb glides over the smooth glass grounds him, helping him at least calm down until he sees you again.
jj loves it so much he ends up drilling a little hole in it, tying a thin black string through it to hang it around his neck so it doesn’t get lost. you honestly forgot all about it until he shows up wearing it, and you just about fall in love all over again <3
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