#I thought Crosshair and her would be cute too

[madameminor]

OK, so...

...don't shoot me or anything, but...

...Ventress and Wrecker ship being built right now...

[mae-lou-ron]

A Friend Indeed

Summary: Two years into settling on Pabu, Crosshair reluctantly finds solace in some familiar places.

Rating: T (might be G but set as T because I'm just a baby and I don't know how ratings work. Feel free to yell at me if I should change it) Warnings under the cut.

Tags/TWs: hurt/comfort, cute brotherly fluff, descriptions of PTSD, descriptions of sleep paralysis symptoms, recurring nightmares involving medical trauma (nothing described), heightened anxiety around dates, grief processing, mental health probs, just wrecker and crosshair being adorable brothers with their emotional support animals.

WC: ~1,800

A/N: this is the first work I've ever posted. It started as a completely self indulgent drabble of Crosshair bonding with a scrungly stray island cat (still in progress), but I loved writing this brotherly exchange between Crosshair and Wrecker so much it kinda turned into something else entirely by the end? This story falls in line with my HCs that Wrecker is the mediator middle child, Tech is still alive and on Pabu with his family, and that he's an awful snorer. Proofread by me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"And how is this supposed to help?" Crosshair seethed, looking down at the plush tooka doll his brother just shoved into his hand. "I don't need this, Wrecker."

"Oh come on, Crosshair, don't pretend like you didn't borrow Lula when we were younger...like that time you had nightmares after falling off the--"

"Stow it," Crosshair growled, throwing the doll back at his brother, but Wrecker, being used to his brother's temperament, dodged it easily. It tumbled to the floor and Batcher, who had been eyeing the tooka during their entire exchange, didn't hesitate to scoop it up and wiggle her hind quarters, hoping one of them would start a game of chase.

"Listen, I still get them too..." Wrecker said quietly as he took a step towards Crosshair, his hand resting on the sniper's shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Want to tell me about it?" He was no stranger to navigating Crosshair's anger. Especially now, after two years of them living on Pabu, two years into recovering mentally and physically from their experiences with the Republic and the Empire, two years of healing the bonds between one another. Wrecker knew that it was always a cover for something more nuanced. So, he was quiet and let Crosshair percolate with his thoughts before he spoke about what was bothering him. After a few moments, Crosshair grumbled, resisting the urge to shrug his shoulder free, but the wall he put up cracked just enough.

"It's just..." Crosshair’s hand clenched into a fist at his side. Batcher flopped down on her bed dramatically at being ignored, still holding the tooka gently in her mouth. "It's not just the nightmares..." he mumbled. Wrecker took a half step back, eyes soft and trained on his brother's deep furrowed brow and scowl at opening up like this. But Wrecker was patient.

When Crosshair continued, his voice was barely a whisper, "Sometimes when I wake up I'm still stuck there and...I can't...I can't move..." he trailed off, his mind flitting back to that morning.

He'd woken from the dream, or so he thought. Tantiss' medical droids were still swirling in his periphery, the smell of disinfectant still sharp in his nose. His nervous system immediately reacted, seeking to lash out, to escape, but his body didn't respond- for a horrible moment he thought he might be strapped down again but no, nothing was biting into his skin, he simply couldn't move. He tried to speak, but the words remained on his tongue.

No. He thought bitterly. They're not here. I'm not there.

He kept repeating this in his head, almost like a mantra as the panic coursed through his body. The droid never came close enough to touch him, but still close enough to be a threat. It felt like an eternity until his tunneled vision brightened slightly, the bits and pieces started to fade, and his bedroom in his Pabu home came into the forefront. He could finally feel his limbs thawing, the weight of the blanket on his feet, the rising sun casting speckles on the wall, the sound of seabirds calling in the distance. These things helped ground him enough to remember his training, he slowed his breathing in an attempt to quiet his pounding heart. It worked, but it didn't quiet completely, not until he could feel his toes wiggle.

Wrecker's warm hand gave his shoulder another squeeze, gently bringing Crosshair back to the present moment. Crosshair glanced up at his brother's scarred face, into his concerned, mismatched eyes for a fleeting moment before shaking his head and casting his eyes back downward. Wrecker was always a good listener despite his boisterous demeanor. He never tried to talk Crosshair out of how he was feeling, or suggest solutions unless asked. He was content to be an ear to bend and a shoulder to lean on.

And Crosshair would rather be slowly digested by that massive tentacled sea creature in the bay than have all of his family members concern be directed towards him. Hunter watched and hovered too much and it only frustrated Crosshair more. Tech would listen and be sure to provide the most annoyingly practical solution. Echo was his first choice to go to about this specific issue, but he was away again and difficult to get a hold of these days. Omega, his heart softened a little thinking of her. She would drag him to the cliffs and insist they meditate, look at him with those kind, concerned eyes. His eyes.

No. Absolutely not. Wrecker was his best option at not driving Crosshair back into himself. And he was so tired, so the wall came down a bit further. He looked up quickly again to make sure Wrecker was still listening. He always was.

"And they're...often," The sniper's lips pressed into a thin line. "Almost every morning this past week," Crosshair continued. "And sometimes in the middle of the night, which are the worst," he spat out so quickly it took Wrecker a second to process what he said.

"This happened last year around this time too," Wrecker thought out loud. Crosshair cringed at the realization he'd already known, but grunted in affirmation. He had learned that sometimes this is how it goes, especially around dates with any significance, and they returned from Tantiss for the last time on this day two years ago.

Wrecker looked thoughtful for a moment before his face brightened at a sudden idea. He strode around the room and started gathering the cushions and pillows, tossing them into a pile in front of the couch.

"What are you doing?" Crosshair drawled wearily, his eyes following Wreckers movements. He was already regretting his decision to speak more freely about this.

"I'm getting comfy," Wrecker said plainly as he settled down amidst the pile of pillows, leaning back against the couch. Batcher took this as an invitation to dig out her own spot at Wrecker's side, Lula in tow, settling down with it under her chin. "See?" he said, his tone light. "Let's camp out here!" He said spreading his arms wide before returning his hands to the back of his head. "You know like back on Kamino in the training storage room whenever Tech would snore too loud?" He grinned at the memory. "Hunter would always find us and act all annoyed but he just always wanted to know where we were...and get away from Tech's snoring,"

"Still does," Crosshair snorted, one corner of his mouth curling up slightly. Admiration for his brothers pulled him out of his resolute melancholy a little more. He settled down on the other side of Batcher, resting his arm over her back like he'd done a thousand times before. The hound grumbled at him when he lifted her chin gently to retrieve Lula.

"No." Crosshair said firmly. Batcher's eyes still followed the doll but she settled back down. He held Lula before him, taking in the tattered fabric, the stains, the patches added to mend rips and burns. One of her ears was almost completely gone.

"This thing is...disgusting," Crosshair scoffed quietly, it was almost a chuckle.

"Yeah, it is," Wrecker laughed heartily. "But she's been with us the whole time. Look..." he said pointing at the burn across the doll's back. "That's from when those clanker disrupters I made for your fire puncher went off in the barracks, remember?" He smiled widely remembering how angry Tech was at them for setting his bed on fire, while he was still in it. And Wrecker's, but that was nothing new back then. He continued regaling Crosshair with anecdotes about how the blemishes were made over the years.

Wrecker suddenly yawned, stretching and settling further into the nest, "Alright if I sleep here tonight," he said drowsily, more a statement than a question, his eyes still bright. Stars, he was a terrible liar, but Crosshair appreciated his attempts to not wound his pride. To give Crosshair the choice for his company without having to ask for it.

He was working on it.

"I suppose," he drawled. It was already late when his brother came by to check on him— and it's not like Wrecker would be easily moved at this point anyway. 

Crosshair, resigned but thankful for the company, studied the tooka for a while longer. The knot in his chest loosened slightly at the reminder of the joyful and chaotic moments they've shared. Bright moments poking through the darkness like the stars studding the night sky. Instead of tucking the doll under his arm or clutching it to his chest, he stuffed it behind his head before settling back onto its familiar softness.

Crosshair folded his arms over his chest, closing his eyes and tuning in on the sounds of the insects chirping softly outside, the distant waves were harder to hear now that the tide had retreated, but still added to the calmness that now descended upon the island. Batcher grumbled in contentment, and soon Crosshair's breathing matched Wrecker's, lulling him into a more peaceful sleep than he'd had all week.

The next morning when Crosshair opened his eyes, the frightening things he may have dreamt about didn't follow him. They stayed where they belonged, far out of his periphery. The bright orange morning creeping over the horizon chased away some of the shadows from his mind. Not all of course, but, some. Wrecker and Batcher were still right beside him, both very real and sleeping soundly. He wiggled his toes experimentally. Pleased when the joints flexed on his command. He could move and get up if he wanted, but it was still far too early to rise and start the day. Instead, Crosshair did something he hasn't done in weeks- he went back to sleep.

Maybe he was still right, he thought as he drifted off again, Lula still tucked under his head. Maybe he didn't need this, but he had to admit, it helped.

[skellymom]

hiii can you do a story about after a long mission, Hunter and Fem reader are about to make out but Omega interrupts and just keeps asking about what they were doing

I’ve been dreaming of this thing for a long time

HI! Thanks for the ASK!!!

Sorry this one took awhile. Been working a LOT lately.

But, here it is! Hope you like!!!

(Pinterest pic credit: Maulia)

"LITTLE INTERRUPTIONS"

HUNTER X FEM READER ASK FIC

Background: This is set after Tantiss when the remaining characters settle on Pabu. My headcannon is they take off for missions to help Rex and the Clone Rebellion. Omega stays with Auntie Phee who keeps her busy with treasure hunting and (mostly) out of danger. She gets to still be a child with fun adventures.

Word count: 1K

Warnings: Swearing, mention of male erection, implied inevitable sexual activity

“Movies over. Time for bed, Omega!” Hunter promptly popped up off the sofa, nudging her to get up. 

“Aww...I’m not tired. Can we watch a couple holoshorts? THEN I’ll go to bed.�� 

“Nope, off you go.” Finally dislodging her off the edge. “Brush your teeth first.” 

“Jeez...why are you in a hurry???”  

I couldn’t help but giggle at her persistence and sass. Little smarty pants. She suspected something was up. Usually, Hunter would let her linger a bit longer after the show was over. 

Hunter and I have been seeing each other in-between missions. Him with Clone Force 99 and me with my little band of Rebel Cell “Missfits” (an unruly group of women from planets all over the galaxy). Usually, our squads worked separately and had never heard of each other until meeting on a mission planned by Rex. 

He and I hit it off right away. 

From then on, we conveniently kept running into their squad. Even when we didn’t necessarily need help. And at times when we DEFINITELY needed it. They saved our asses on quite a few missions.  

The Missfits never forgot CF99’s generosity. We saved their cute butts too. After all, we support our allies. 

Eventually I just came out and confronted Hunter. And in front of both squads. Sometimes a woman’s gotta put a man in the hot seat to see what he says. 

“Hmm...we meet AGAIN! Are YOU keeping tabs on us?” Stated it loudly while staring him down...giving my devil may care expression. 

Hunter tried to hide his amazement at my bold statement. Keeping a neutral expression. He really did. But I could see the small barely perceptible grin at the corners of his sweet mouth. 

Kriff, I like to watch him lose his composure! Letting go of the control he tries so hard to keep in check... 

Wrecker couldn’t contain himself, slapping his brother’s shoulder HARD. “He’s keeping tabs on YOU! MAHAAA!!!” 

Hunter turned three shades of red while OUR entire squad erupted in wolf whistles and cat calls. The ladies COULDN’T let THAT go without making a big deal out of it. 

Of course, Wrecker’s statement was partially true. It was no secret he, Echo and Crosshair had a thing for the ladies in our squad. 

Then things got sticky with The Empire and we had to lay low for a while. Being seen together in the same place at the same time proved too risky. Our squads parted for quite a few months. We missed our men. They missed their women. 

But I digress. Back to Movie Night... 

Little Miss Omega really had our number. She glanced from Hunter to me.  

Surely, she suspected SOMETHING, just unsure of WHAT. 

“Goodnight kiddo. We’ll plan to do something fun and stay up later another night. With or without your brother.” I reached out with my foot and playfully kicked Hunter’s leg. 

He’s giving me that hungry look he gets when I’m sassy and physical with him... 

Omega smirked “Goodnight Y/N.” 

Then off she went to brush her teefies. 

Hunter settled back on the sofa, slid up close, arm up on the back of the couch around me. He expertly turned off the lamp on the table behind us. Smooth. 

We stared deeply into each other’s eyes in the semidarkness of the holoprojector. 

“Missed you. All I thought about for months.” His smoky voice so low. So deep. So...sexy. 

“Mmm...did ya now...” 

Maker, he’s so beautiful and sweet it makes my heart ache. Gonna tear him up tonight...quietly of course...we don’t want to wake up... 

“OMEGA! Go back to bed.” Hunter, doing his best to NOT sound annoyed. Didn’t even move from his position on the sofa. Still gazing in my eyes. 

The tiny, barely perceptible shadow in the hallway turns and scurries back to bed. 

“Damn Hunter. You’ve got kid radar.” 

“Not the only thing I’ve got.” He sensually runs his hands up my arms, shoulders, neck, caresses the sides of my face... 

...we close the gap between each other. Gently touching noses, foreheads. My arms slide up his stomach, chest...finally gripping his strong shoulders...and just as our lips meet... 

“HOLY KRIFF!” I just ‘bout lept off the sofa!!! 

Omega stood 5 ft in front of us...watching... 

“Hunter...did YOU teach her to be THAT quiet???” 

“What did I TELL YOU?!” He’s trying to be patient. Trying REALLY hard. 

“I’m thirsty...” Her expression is uncertain. She’s a good kid and certainly not trying to be disobedient. 

“You know where the sink is.” He’s the kind of guy who would get the water for her.  

But he CAN’T right now. I can feel his hardness against my thigh. Hunter shoots me an uneasy expression.  

He anticipates she’ll ask to be tucked into bed next...and he CANNOT support that action right now. 

I quietly giggle. 

He slowly shakes his head at me. 

Omega bounces into the kitchen and we can hear the sink running. 

The tap turns off. 

Sounds of a tiny person drinking. 

The rest of the water gets dumped into the sink.  

Clink of the glass being set on the counter. 

She’s quickly back in front of us. 

He inhales with the anticipation of her request. 

I’m watching all of this with bated breath...ready to bust out laughing. It’s NEVER a dull moment in The Batch household. 

“Will you tuck me...?” 

“OMEGA!” She jumps out of her skin. 

Echo emerges from the darkened hallway. A serious expression on his face, and a contrast to the #1 MOM t-shirt he’s wearing with his sweatpants. 

“Leave them alone and come to bed.” His expression softens. NOBODY can stay mad at Omega. 

“But...” She’s stalling. 

“Now, young lady.” Echo raises an eyebrow and holds his hand out to her. 

Omega glances back to Hunter. 

“Go on with Echo. We’ll talk more tomorrow. I know you have questions.” 

She nods and takes Echo’s hand. Before they disappear down the hall, Echo glances over his shoulder and winks at us. 

Hunter and I wait... 

The door to Echo’s room closes. Clearly, he’s running interference for us tonight. Providing privacy. Otherwise, Omega will keep sneaking out. 

Waiting a minute more...Hunter cocks his head like a dog...listening... 

While reaching over and pressing a button on the holo-remote. Slow, sensuous Jizz music starts to play. 

Then that handsome man turns back to me with an intensity in his eyes that makes my whole-body ache.  

“Now...where were we?” 

(Credit: Cool moving star dividers by @4ngelic-wh1spers )

PLEASE like, comment, and/or REBLOG!

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[ayyyy-le-simp]

Hey pookieesss 🤭

Happy Final Bad Batch Eve. I’m totally not crying.

All day I’ve seen final goodbyes and sad edits. And so to help ease the nerves and anxiety, I come here with some hopefully funny shenanigans. Featuring my beloved Mami again.

My mother has very little knowledge on Star Wars (which relatable, im still learning). And so I’ve asked for her to give me her thoughts on The Bad Batch characters!! I call this ✨ pre-game comfort ✨. Writing this two hours before midnight (it’s 10pm where I live).

Enjoy <33 and everyone thank my beloved mother!! (Spanish lines will be translated, blue print is me)

“I already told you, Rambo.”

“Was he ever shirtless?”

“Unfortunately no.”

“Damn.”

“He’s a 7/10 though.”

“That’s the one who died, right?”

“Pobrecito.” (Poor thing.)

“Cómo se llama?” (Whats his name?)

“Tech.”

“Ahh okay. He died the same way Bucky Barnes died.”

“Bucky Barnes didn’t die though. He came back as the winter soldier.”

“Exactly. And who’s that mystery clone guy?”

“I think that mystery clone is Tech.”

(Guys she supports our delusions.)

I’m typing this on my phone at the moment, and for some reason, tumblr isn’t letting me type under pictures and it’s literally annoying me and I’m too lazy to made separate posts, but stay tuned. But I might make another version on my tiktok 🤭

ANYWAYS

Moving onto Crosshair

“He reminds me of your dad. Bald and tall.”

(I showed my mom the scene of Crosshair sitting by himself in the cafeteria)

“Ay pobrecito.”

Moving onto Wrecker

“He reminds me of Drax. From guardians of the galaxy.”

“I think he would like Pitbull.”

“MR WORLDWIDE!”

“I literally love him.”

“Quién? Wrecker or Pitbull?” (Quién means who)

“Wrecker.”🤭

“Estas loca.” (You’re crazy.)

Moving onto Echo

“What happened to him?! Why does he look gray?”

“He needs to eat some red meat. Get some blood in that skin. That’s some low iron.”

“Yo le daría carne asada.”(I’d give him carne asada.) [steak]

“Echo? Like the movie Earth To Echo. I like that movie.”

Moving onto Omega (my literal daughter)

“She looks like her name would be Estella. Or Estrella.” (Estrella means Star in Spanish)

“I like Omega. It’s a cute name.”

Moving onto Phee

“I like her, she’s voiced by Wanda Sykes. I like Wanda Sykes, she’s funny as hell.”

“She really liked Tech.”

“She and Tech deserved better.”

“In my mind, Tech is not dead, he’s happily married to Phee.”

“You’re delusional.”

“I know.”

“Pobrecita, she didn’t see him around.”

Moving onto Cid

“Isn’t that the puta that snitched them out?”

(Puta means bitch)

“Yeah.”

“Hm. She’s a witch for that.”

BONUS:

CAPTAIN REX✨✨

“…”

“…”

“Que guapo.” (How handsome.)

“…”

“RIGHTT.”

“But he’s a captain?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh no. I can’t go cheating on my Captain America. America’s ass. He’s the only Captain in my life.”

“He can be your space Captain. Space’s ass.”

“Space’s ass.”

“Space’s ass.”

OKAY THANK YOU FOR READING THIS 🙏🏽🙏🏽PRAYERS FOR THE FINAL EPISODE IM SCARED GUYS WE NEED A HAPPY ENDING 😭 😭 🙏🏽 I NEED THEM ALL TO BE WELL AND OKAY AND SAFE OR ELSE I’LL BE A MILITARY WIFE IN MOURNING

[clone-anon]

Alrighty, the finale had me growing gray hairs, and I desperately need some fluff...

(Which you can take as long as you need to write it cause I'm sure we're all in the same boat processing this shit-)

Aaaaanywhoooo- it's Chopper (which, is it really a surprise by now??)

Could I possibly get a Crosshair x m!reader who are in a relationship who get a cute date on the beach? Swimming, hanging out, having a good time on Pabu? (We all know that boy needs a vacation)

I am still processing, but this is something I think I can write. As we all know, every clone is still alive on this blog and I have my thoughts about who is actually still alive in canon. That said, @chopper-base I hope you don't mind me replying here instead of an ask so people can see the prompt. I know the gif doesn't totally fit, but he is happy here as he deserves to be.

You watched Crosshair mess with this cybernetic hand at the breakfast table. Of course he knew you were watching. He still had tremors. Losing a hand didn't fix his mind and if anything the phantom pains made it worse.

You crawled on to his lap and gently took his hand in yours. He smiled at you cautiously, but trusted you. His wrist shook, but as you massaged his arm and silently invited him to take some deep breaths with you, it started to subside.

"We should get you some swim trunks," you suggested seemingly out of no where.

"Swim trunks?" he asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Unless you want to go skinny dipping," you added with a grin.

"Maybe not on this particular island. Too many sets of eyes," he answered.

Crosshair had never seen or heard of swim trunks in his life until he met you. He had never gone swimming for fun. It was part of his training as a cadet, but he had never seen anyone just get in the water and play around until he saw you on the beach one day while taking a walk with Batcher.

You got up and took his hand in yours and walked to the shop. Pabu didn't have everything in the galaxy, but there was a nice variety of clothing and he felt heat run to his cheeks the moment you picked up what looked more like underwear than swim trunks.

"You could so pull these off," you said with a hopeful smile. Crosshair was tempted, but he already felt vulnerable enough with this missing hand. He instead decided on a pair of teal and orange trunks that ended about half way up his thigh. You stopped at home again to change and Crosshair decided to leave his cybernetic hand there. He wasn't sure how well the electric components would do in the salt water and he didn't want to be stressed about it. Batcher decided she wanted to come along. You covered each other in sunscreen, grabbed a shaved ice treat to share, and wandered down to your favorite swimming spot.

You got in the water and Batcher followed, splashing and barking. Crosshair couldn't help but smile. How did he get this lucky? He felt he was barely out of prison and he found a boyfriend. A partner, even. And when he came back with a hand missing you never thought less of him. In fact, you seemed more worried about how it would affect him. You held his wrist as if it didn't bother you.

"Come on!" you called.

He strode into the water and stood where you were treading. He was a bit taller than you were, but you used this to your advantage, leaned on him, and snaked your legs around his waist, drawing confidence out of him. He held you and walked further into the ocean until you were both drifting a bit, but not too far away. Batcher doggy-paddled past you as she tried chasing a school of fish and Crosshair laughed. Tears came to his eyes as he held you and watched her while laughing with his full chest. The damn had broken. All these things that were held in for so long came out in that one moment of seeing his dog's silliness and being with you. He pressed a kiss to your temple and spun you around in the water. It was a warm day and the first of many you spend at that spot. For the first time in his life, he was actually free and felt it.

[welcometo79s]

[repost because I got shadow-banned and I'm back now]

@clonemmunism got me thinking with their post about the war ending and the clones just making very bad fashion choices so here's my thought on what everyone would wear and my rating:

Hunter [4/10]:

Hunter doesn't really care about being fashionable. We got a glimpse of what he would wear in The Bad Batch and I don't think it's very good. He owns a couple of cute scarves but usually he just dresses like a less fashionable Cut Lawquane. And Cut is already pushing it. It's nothing too bad, he just looks like some farmer on Dantooine. No, the bad thing about Hunter is that he literally does not differentiate between clothes he wears going out and clothes he wears practicing knife throwing and juggling with. So most of his stuff has little cuts and tears in it. He also sticks to the type of clothes that Cut gave him, which is the only thing saving him from being a fashion nightmare. He did however try to pick absolutely atrocious clothes for Omega until Echo stepped in. Like he'd attempt to get her a pink shirt with a porg vomiting a rainbow on it and military khakis.

Echo [10/10]:

His outfits are top-notch, he just doesn't dress properly for the seasons. But hey, that's not what we're ranking here. Echo is a crop top guy. Crop tops in summer. Crop tops in winter. And he looks good in them. He wears regular black pants and a variety of casual jackets on top of the crop tops. Sometimes leather jackets, sometimes bomber jackets, sometimes parkas, sometimes open shirts loosely hanging over the tops. Gets matching accessories and high quality boots for his outfits too. Ends up getting himself a belly button piercing. Fashion icon.

Tech [6/10]:

He only has one outfit and it's beige suit pants and a white shirt that's stuffed into the pants. He owns multiple duplicates of the pants and the shirt. Leather shoes. The only thing he switches out about the outfit is that he wears a variety of funky bow ties.

Wrecker [4/10]:

I'm sure there's people on here who found Wrecker's beekeeper outfit from the Saleucami episode cute but it's not very fashionable, nor are the rest of his clothes. Fisherman hats. Crocs. The "my 50 year old dad on the balcony" shoes (those cork sandals). Ponchos and pants that don't fit together color-wise. Sooo many tie dye shirts. Those jeans fabric shorts with lots of cuts in them. The very short ones. Very rarely an elegant evening gown he looks really good in. That gets him an extra point.

Crosshair [5/10]:

He's the Hot Topic Brigade. He has a style and he sticks to it. Some people like it and some don't. Almost always wears a leather jacket. Buys all his clothes at the Star Wars equivalent of Hot Topic.

Fives [7/10]:

Usually wears black jeans and some black t-shirt with printed words on it. Sneakers. Jeans jackets, sometimes with fur. His outfits are good but he wears some of the most atrocious shirts known to mankind. On a good day you get "Viva la Clonevolution", "I'm a Republic War Crime" or "Enemy of the State". On worse days he might wear something that says "Sparkle on you crazy doggo!", "I eat cement", "I can't fucking do be do be do it anymore" (all real shirts by the way) or "Call me the Uwunator". The otherwise completely normal, nice looking outfit adds to the insanity. Sometimes Echo pretends he doesn't know him. It's the fact that Fives does this on purpose that really gets Echo.

Rex [1/10]:

Listen. The Bad Batch and Fives have the privilege of having Echo to be the damage control for their fashion choices. Now we're getting into the bad territory. Rex has so many of these white tank tops that you can see his nipples through. Sometimes there's hot sauce stains on them. He also has a fuzzy jacket that Fives got him as a joke. Rex does not know it was supposed to be a joke. At this point Fives is too intimidated to correct him. He wears light shorts that some rich kid would wear to the golf course under the tank tops. And cowboy boots. Also huge elegant statement necklaces on top of this. And that one stupid fisher hat that says "rexcellent" on it.

Hardcase [2/10]:

Listen the only reason Hardcase has more points than Rex is that Hardcase doesn't want to look fashionable, Hardcase wants to look fun and that he does. He joins Fives in the cringe t-shirt extravaganza. Would wear the ugly pink porg shirt that Hunter wanted to get for Omega. See-through jackets. Glittery heart sunglasses. Glittery silver disco pants that get wider at the bottom. Rainbow bracelets that work like rattles. He annoys everyone around him by shaking his hands to his "improv gospel". Red leather boots that go up to his thighs. Sometimes he wears them under the disco pants, sometimes over them. Fives loves his outfits. He's the only one. Sometimes Hardcase tries out a variety of colorful wigs.

Tup [9/10]:

He looks so cute. So many people hit on him. Lets his hair grow a little longer and starts wearing half-buns. Also a crop top guy, just a little shy about it at first. Wears earrings and looks really nice with them. Has delicate wrist tattoos, maybe some branches with flowers wrapping around his arms. Otherwise simple, normal pants and sneakers.

Jesse [3/10]:

Tup and Fives are carrying the 501st in terms of fashion. The rest are all fashion don'ts. Jesse is no exception. He also wears crop tops but his don't have sleeves or straps. It's just a strapless bandeau top hanging over his pecs. On top of that? Baggy oversized jacket with a comical amount of pockets that he always stuffs full of things. He's been stopped multiple times by the Coruscant Guard and searched as a suspect for being a spice dealer. He just has his pockets stuffed full of candy though. Baggy pants with equally as many pockets fading from blue into purple into red. The jacket is a dark green. Sparkly golden dance slippers.

Dogma [1/10]:

Big sun hats. Very tight leather pants that end just below his crotch area and then restart at the knee. The pants have two parts basically. The two parts are not connected. See-through sneakers. Frilly white shirts that some 18th century vampire would wear. Tie with little loth cats on it. All of this in combination btw.

Fox [10/10]:

I can do this in one sentence, look up "dark academia outfit men" on Pinterest and you get Fox's style.

Mayday [0/10]:

His isn't even an outfit, it's just a bunch of fabrics he bought just like that in the market and somehow wrapped himself in them. There's no shirt, pants, jacket or anything like that, they're just pieces of fabric wrapped around his body like towels. One of them he wears as a scarf. On a good day he looks like some type of monk. On a bad day he just looks like a mess.

Howzer [3/10]:

You know that outfit Sportacus wears in LazyTown? That's his style. He wears things looking similar to that.

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Chapter 13

While on a routine mission for Cid, the Bad Batch encounter a woman fleeing from the Empire. Crosshair suspects her seemingly free-spirited, nomadic existence is actually a cover for something else, but struggles to keep his attraction toward her in check as their personalities and ideals clash.

Relevant tags/content warnings: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Periodic Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use

Chapters posted 1-2x weekly!

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read all chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3 l Ch. 4 l Ch. 5 l Ch. 6 l Ch. 7 l Ch. 8 l Ch. 9 l Ch. 10 l Ch. 11 l Ch. 12 l Ch. 13 l Ch. 14

Chapter 13 summary: Dara is in a strange mood. The Batch makes their move to infiltrate the villa.

When she stepped out of the Marauder into the cool night air, Dara took a moment to look up at the sky, taking in the glittering stars, uncanny in all their unfamiliar positions. She wondered, as she always did, which one was her sun—the one belonging to her home system, lightyears and lightyears away. It always made her feel a little lost, not knowing. Often, when she traveled to a new planet, she would consult an adjusted star map on the first night, find her sun so that she could point out toward the galaxy and think, There. That’s home.

Not that she’d ever be able to go back again.

Trying not to think about it further, she tore her eyes away from the stars and cast them back planet side, adjusting the glasses that were settled on the brim of her nose.

“Steal those, too, burk’yc?” Crosshair’s voice came from above her. He slid down from the roof of the Marauder, landing in the field next to her on cat-like feet.

Dara hit the button to retract the ship’s ramp and strode off into the night. “They’re mine,” she muttered. “I need them for reading.”

Crosshair stalked after her. “How cute. What about this?” He gave the scarf she’d wrapped around her hair a tug, earning him a glare at his juvenile antics. Dara readjusted it, making sure all the strands were still tucked safely under.

“Half the town was staring at us yesterday,” she fumed. “I don’t want to make it easy to be recognized.”

As the pair trekked up a hill in the direction of the villa, the sniper frowned and fiddled with the toothpick in his mouth, evidently deep in thought. “You shouldn’t be going in there alone,” he finally grunted.

Glancing in his direction, Dara scoffed. “Like you give a bantha shit.”

He flicked the toothpick at her. “What I give a bantha shit aboutis the mission. And I don’t feel like rescuing you when you kark it up.”

Breathing deeply, Dara looked up at the sky again. She tried counting to ten. It was too early in the evening to commit a murder. When she looked back down, Crosshair was still glaring at her. They finally crested the top of the hill, where Wrecker and Hunter were waiting, macro binoculars trained on the villa.

Hunter glanced at them before returning to his surveillance. “Everything’s normal. Two guards stationed at the front entrance, next rounds are due in half an hour. Tech and Echo should be back in ten.”

Dara nodded and took in her first view of the mansion from close-up. She had spent much of the afternoon memorizing its floorplan, but was still somehow surprised at just how big it was. What a waste of space for one person, she mused. She seated herself a few feet away to wait, back resting against a boulder, and soon found herself once more searching through the stars for a familiar twinkle.

Almost immediately, her view was blocked by Crosshair’s scowl.

“What?” she demanded.

“Why do you keep doing that?”

She clenched her teeth with irritation. “Keep doing what?”

The sniper sneered at her. “Looking at the sky. Expecting a ship to arrive soon?”

This brought out an eye roll. “Kriff, are you paranoid. I’m just looking at the stars, asshole.”

“Why?” Crosshair squinted at her suspiciously.

“What do you mean, why?” A look of genuine bafflement wiped the annoyance off Dara’s face.

Crosshair gestured with his toothpick at the sky. “I mean, why? They’re stars. You said you were looking at them last night. You’ve seen them before.”

Dara hesitated for a moment, unsure if he was even looking for a real answer—or if he deserved one. She looked up again, tried to at least find a sliver of sky that might belong to her, but couldn’t differentiate it from every other.

“They’re different on every planet,” she began haltingly.

The sniper furrowed his brow, puzzled, then followed her gaze. “Yeah. So?”

Dara sighed. Rather than tell him the whole sad truth, she settled on a close-enough answer. “So I can’t recognize them. I don’t know the constellations here. They all tell different stories.” She glanced at him a moment, found his eyes examining her intently, and continued. “When I did fieldwork, I used to record the stories sometimes. Every culture has ancient myths about the shapes the stars take in their sky. It’s what got us up there in the first place. The whole reason we ever left our planets to begin with—to go where the stories are. Find out what’s out there. I like looking—trying to recognize them. Guessing what shapes they make. And…where the systems I’ve been are.”

The sniper opened his mouth—surely, Dara thought, to say something snarky, or accuse her of lying—but a chirp over their comms signaled Tech and Echo were approaching. Dara stood, adjusted her headscarf, and made sure her blaster was fully concealed beneath the lab coat.

“Ready?” asked Hunter.

She grinned. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

***

Crosshair watched Dara closely through his scope as she met Tech and Echo by the road at the bottom of the hill. Hopping into the speeder they had commandeered, she drove off in the direction of the villa, tonight playing the part, not of a honeymooner camping in the woods, but a hassled scientist rushing over from town. Despite what he’d told her earlier, he no longer had any doubts that she could handle herself—and handle herself well at that—although he still worried about what she might encounter once she got inside.

She was in a strange mood tonight. Maybe he’d pushed her too far.

That had been an unexpected moment of vulnerability from her; for barely half a second, he could see her features almost take on some of the otherworldly calm he had found so fascinating when she was facing down her death. But then they’d twisted back into her usual mask, and now, as he watched her park the speeder in front of the villa, she was someone else entirely.

Tech and Echo both settled into position, joining the others in studying Dara intently as she parked the speeder and approached the guards. Tech finished typing away at his datapad and looked up, satisfied.

“Comms for the villa are officially jammed,” he announced.

In contrast, they could still hear every word being exchanged between Dara and the guards from the woman’s earpiece. Her voice was convincingly frantic.

“I need immediate access to Dr. Prium’s laboratory,” Dara huffed breathlessly as soon as she gained the guards’ attention. “We have an emergency at the lab in town and Dr. Raab needs me to review some of the data that’s stored here.”

The men looked at one another uncertainly. One of them—taller and broader than his companion—folded his arms. “Access to the laboratory is restricted. Raab will have to come here himself.”

“Obviously he’s trying to hold things together in town, or he wouldn’t have sent me. I have his access card.” Dara adjusted her glasses and waved the keycard at them agitatedly.

The tall guard snatched it out of her hand and scanned it. He squinted at her suspiciously, then turned to his companion.

“Comm Raab. See what he says,” he instructed.

As the batch had planned, the call was met with nothing but static. The shorter guard shook his head.

“It’s not connecting for some reason. Interference, or some sort of problem in the control room, maybe.”

Dara tapped her foot impatiently and looked pointedly at her chronometer. “I don’t have time to wait around here. We’re on the verge of disaster. We could lose months of work!”

The taller man looked at her doubtfully, weighing his options. Finally, he sighed and jerked his head toward the entrance to the villa. “Take her in. Stop at control on the way down and check in about the comms.”

Dara scoffed. “I don’t need an escort. I’ll be in and out in no more than an hour.”

The tall man scowled and stroked his blaster menacingly. “Don’t let her out of your sight,” he insisted.

The batch exchanged concerned glances as they heard Dara sigh and watched her allow the smaller guard to lead her into the mansion.

“That’s not great,” Echo murmured.

Wrecker furrowed his brow. “Yeah. Didn’t we plan on them sending her in alone?”

Tech shrugged, eyes back on his datapad. “Ideally yes. However, Dara will have to stun the workers in the control room in any event. She will simply have to stun the guard as well.”

He was the only one looking unperturbed. Hunter, on the other hand, was scowling. “Yes, but the workers in the control room weren’t supposed to have blasters. We don’t exactly want her to get caught in a firefight.”

While they no longer had a visual on Dara as she made her way through the villa, over the comms they could still hear everything that was happening to her. After a period of silence, they heard the beeping of a keycard and the guard begin to speak.

“Hey, is there a reason comms aren’t—”

The man was interrupted by the telltale, wavering chirp of a stun blast. A thud and two more chirps immediately followed.

“Control room secured,” Dara reported. “Tech, I’m plugging in now.”

“Ah. Lovely. Thank you, Dara.” He adjusted his goggles as he set to work monitoring the progress of his programs.

“My—pleasure—Tech,” Dara grunted back. Judging by the dragging noise and slight strain in her voice, she was settling the unconscious guard safely behind the control room door, away from prying eyes.

“Patrol is passing the infiltration point on their rounds now,” Crosshair murmured, eyes glued to his scope. “Our entry window’s open.”

Tech looked up from his datapad and tucked it away safely in his belt, exchanging it for his pistols. “Automated security systems are offline. We may now enter.”

While the others stole their way across the darkened landscape that separated their hilltop from the villa, Crosshair settled in with his rifle perched atop the boulder, ready to keep watch as the rest of the team completed the infiltration. He allowed himself only the briefest glance up at the stars, wondering for a moment what constellations Dara was looking for.

Next chapter

Tag List: @stardusthuntress @skellymom @megmegalodondon

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x4: A Different Approach

Short edition because I haven't slept properly in like 4 days and don't know how to comprehend anything atm

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

Would've been nice to crash on a less shit planet

The long term health implications of these guys being involved in this many crashes cannot be good

The way Nala Se is hunched up on the bed 😭 do you think she's ever had a proper room there or has she spent her entire time on Tantiss huddled up on a standard bed?

I wanna know how Nala Se managed to get away with destroying at least 150 rotations worth of samples from Omega without anyone raising suspicions. She must be brilliantly at forging data because how did that pass???

I see we've moved on from clones with ponchos to stormtroopers with ponchos ✨

"or we could try a way that doesn't involve blaster fire?' Megs calling out Crosshair on his "let's shoot everything" approach. Love it!

"Well that went well" "Stow it" I honestly can't tell you how much I'm loving this dynamic right now

Ah yes childhood gambling

"You or your dad" CROSS IS OFFICIALLY ONE OF THE DAD BATCH NOW ❤️

Nah, that imperial gave over the money too easily. That's sus

Yep... there we go. Apparently gambling is illegal and a fine must be payed 🙄

Ugh he's so sleezy I hate it

This port seems like an CITES nightmare (CITES = Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. Basically, you can't move endangered animals without a shit tonne of paperwork)

Death by tentacle monster seems like an appropriate end for that slimeball

All of these planets are so depressing wtf

I'm not crying you are 😭😭😭

Nah this is so cute wtf!!!

Oop they've spotted Crosshair

*awkward cough* okay... well... this is a bit tense

Like I know it makes sense for them not to run and hug him but... it would be great if that did happen

Also *cries in Echo stan*

[lightwise]

TBB S3 E11 Reaction

I’ve watched this episode multiple times already but honestly it doesn’t get any easier. Here we go I guess 😩

- This droid guy looks like the one from episode 4. They’re kinda cute

- The return of Mel! (And Phee 😁)

- Both of them are in a mood 😆. What trip did they just get back from to make them so cranky? Love the throwback to Skara Nall too.

- Noooo not CX-2 😭

- He’s a sneaky boi

- I knew that Phee would inadvertently be how the coordinates to Pabu would be found 🥺🥺

- I’m just now noticing that the back office is playing music and that’s probably why Phee can’t hear the alarm go off. That is hilarious and also very frustrating 😅

- Of course the droid thinks it caused the alarm somehow

- There’s no way downloading someone’s flight log goes that quickly but okay

- Ooooh my girl knows something is up! Her spidey pirate senses are going off. Aghhhh if only she had been a second sooner!!

- If CX-2 ISN’T Tech there is zero reason why he would have stayed behind to watch Phee leave before he snuck off. Also how is he so incredible at hacking into and decoding things 👀

- Ugh I just want a show of Phee and Mel adventures around the galaxy!

- Why is his ship so freaking cool. These maps are incredible.

- Reallyyyy wanna get CX-2’s helmet off 😭

- Aw Pabu is so beautiful in the sunset

- Ha! I knew the boys would try to leave after Ventress warned them it was too dangerous to stay on Pabu. Hunter might be slow sometimes but he’s not completely stupid guys

- Aw poor Wrecker just wants an ice cream

- Crosshair shakes his head at him 🤣

- The little clone cadets outfits are so cool!!!

- Not going to lie, the first time I watched this was the closest I had cried all season. Tech’s goggles and Lula being placed in the Archium is so heartbreakingly fitting 💔

- Wrecker and Gonky banter 🤩🤩🤩 Gonk is such a part of the family I love it soooo much

- Okay seriously how is CX-2 able to both know he’s tripped a proximity sensor AND turn it off?? Come on

- I just realized how he knows where the cave is too. If he tracked Phee’s flight log it must have shown exactly where she normally landed

- Ugh that gold and purple is just too beautiful. Can Pabu be a real place that I can go to?

- Hunter’s spidey senses are also on alert. And I love how close he and Crosshair are again, their pre-Order 66 bond has been restored and is even deeper. Crosshair is attuned to when Hunter’s senses go off. And their helmets sitting together on the cart is so cute 🥹

- No NO no NOOO Nooooo. This moment was ruined by the Star Wars marketing team so it honestly didn’t hit as hard as it would have otherwise, but 😭😭😭. RIP Marauder. You will live on in our imagination

- I still can’t believe that they somehow heard our outcry about what would happen to Gonky, Lula, and Tech’s goggles if they blew up the Marauder, and decided to save EXACTLY those three things 🤣 (and Wrecker. So glad Wrecker is “relatively” okay, poor boy)

- Hunter’s slooow helmet turn until we see the starship above the island. Phew. And the Imperial March coming in.

- Omega comforting Batcher 😭😭😭

- Having LAATs swoop down into a town like that would be terrifying

- Man, where’s Maarva when you need her. Fuck the Empire

- “Search every domicile until you find her” is going to go down in Star Wars quote history

- I was genuinely afraid they were going to burn the whole island

- I’m sorry but I just can’t take the backpack clips on CX-2 seriously

- Batcher baby no! (Also genuinely thought we were going to lose her for a second)

- Damn Hunter. Nothing makes him shine like hand to hand combat and other things 🥵

- He’s never been hotter honestly

- Alright how in the world is CX-2 so good at *everything*. I’m honestly getting a little annoyed at it.

- Crosshair’s face 😭💔😭 he’s never looked more scared and pleading than when he says his baby sister’s name

- I’m kind of surprised that they didn’t just burn down the town anyway. Either CX-2 is just trying to be super efficient/he doesn’t care past accomplishing his mission, or the Empire gets much more petty and cruel by Kenobi and Rebels

- It’s so interesting to me how touchy CX-2 is with Omega. Why all the shoulder pushes? Shoulder touches are very much a form of affection and communication among clones. Has that impulse in him just been turned to violence?

- Sooo…we basically will never get wet hair Hunter 🤣🤣🤣 I’ll take this much dripping and cute Batcher scratches compensation though

- Okay. I’m just going to say it. The way they chose to have Crosshair miss the tracking device was so disappointing to me. Not the fact that he missed, but how he missed. Having him be distracted and fend for his life and be late for the shot was great. But I wish they had brought his hand tremble into play here as the main mechanism behind why he missed. They’ve been building that up all season and it would have made perfect sense. Instead he rushes and like trips and just shoots too early? So out of character. I didn’t like it and still don’t :(

- Welp, Omega seems to be less worried than we are. We’re in the end game now folks 😳 this music is awesome too

[stars-n-spice]

THOUGHTS ON S3 EP 05:

as always, spoilers under the cut and my thoughts are in no way coherent or in the order of how things happen in the episode

it's just me going to be screaming about whatever comes to mind as i type this

holy shit y'all new comfort episode just dropped!

kid you not, after seeing the episode i deadass went, "Wow, I'm so glad that episode didn't absolutely devastate me!" while I was like,, sobbing

whole episode i was either crying, screaming, or punching a pillow

can't even cry anymore, don't got no tears left

ANYWAYS

I AM AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING CLOWN FOR THINKING WE WERE GOING TO GET A PROPER REACTION/CONTINUATION FROM THE LAST EPISODE

OF FUCKING COURSE THEY WERE GOING TO SKIP OVER IT AND JUST,, FUCKING DIVE RIGHT IN. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

what is it with this show and having what would be emotional reactions to heavy things off screen???

fanfic writers you know what to do

anyways,,

Omega being back with Lula :( and her new outfit is so cute I love it so much :((

THEM BEING BACK ON PABU!!!! <3333 and still sleeping in their ship lol

AZI!!!!! HE'S OKAY!!! HE'S ALIVE AND HE'S THERE AND I LOVE HIM AND I MISSED HIM :((

Crosshair practicing :( and his aim just,,, getting worse :(((

CROSSHAIR AND BATCHER ARE SUCH A DUO!! I FUCKING LOVED EVERY MOMENT WITH THE TWO OF THEM,, THE LITTLE PETS AND SMILES CROSS GAVE BATCH UGGHH

will never ever ever ever get over cross and omega's dynamic,, I love them so much and I'm so glad he's back

I don't know how many times i went, "They're all back together!!" in this episode only to remember Tech isn't there and then sob violently

BUT ECHO FINALLY RETURNS - i'm kinda bitter about how he reacted to seeing Omega again because it seemed like,, like he was completely unfazed by the fact she was captured and sent to a hidden facility conducting god know what experiments BUT at the same time,, I could see it being that Echo always knew she was more than capable of escaping on her own so he wasn't too worried but STILL

"What no hug for me?" <- AAGUUHH,, and then the little smirk Crosshair gave after Echo's response,, they have no bad blood, love that

when Crosshair started talking about the facility I fucking KNEW he was talking about Barton IV and i was in so much pain,, agony even

Was NOT expecting them to return but I'm so glad they did because it played such a vital role in Crosshair's growth and returning to it and growing even more,, just,, aguughhh

WHEN HE FOUND MAYDAY'S HELMET,, FUCK FUCK FUCK minutes before that scene i was like "i swear to god if he finds something from Mayday-"

MAYDAY COME BACK YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT,, YOU DID SO MUCH :((

Hunter and Cross' dynamic in this was so fun to watch but also had me gnawing on my hands

could NOT get over the fact that they brought the dog with them on the mission, idk why but that's fucking hilarious to me

OMEGA CALLING CROSSHAIR "LITTLE BROTHER" AND CROSS CHUCKLING AT IT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!

WHEN WRECKER GAVE CROSSHAIR BACK HIS ARMOR I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT IT AGUUGHHH

god I love Wrecker so much

"Omega trusts him and that's enough for me" FUCK

he wasn't super prominent in this episode but everything he did made me love him more

WHEN HE WAS DIGGING IN THE SNOW?? fucking lost it

THE HUG AT THE END???? FUCKING FINALLY???? THE WAY HE IMMEDIATELY KNEW AND HE JUST,,, FUCK,, RAN UP TO THEM????

like you can tell the whole episode Wrecker was just waiting for the two of them to work things out

i missed all of them so much

it was so good to see them all work together

GOD FUCKING AUGUUHH

THE FIGHT CROSS AND HUNTER HAD??? CROSSHAIR READING HUNTER LIKE A FUCKING BOOK??

when he started to blame Hunter for his failures?? oh fuck as an oldest child that hurt SO much and I was so scared Crosshair was going to pull a "You're the reason why Tech is dead" card

But your honor they are brothers, I love them so much

"i said talk to him, not argue with him!" - "he started it" <- crosshair you cannot beat the youngest brother allegations

hey Crosshair probably didn't tell his brothers about his shaky hands,, ahahahahahaha,aha,,ahh,,,ha..

lmao love that being in a life or death situation and saving each other from it was what made Hunter and Cross start to trust each other

this episode was so great you don't understand

and i'm so happy nothing like,, terrible happened in it

yes I cried a fuckton throughout it but,, at least Omega is still with them and at least Echo is back (for now) and at least they're slowly starting to make up and be a team again

anyways,, nice episode,, can't wait for things to just get worse from here

[ghostofskywalker]

i ran clone xreader bingo this year, and it was SO much fun!! here's a list of all the fics i created! i may try to finish my last two squares before december 31st, but i'm posting this now as an example for other participants who may be stuck on formatting their own masterlists.

if you want to peruse the plethora of amazing fanfiction that was created for this event, check out @clonexreaderbingo on tumblr and the event's AO3 collection!

a 💐 next to a fic's title means it's a personal favorite of mine (i picked two)

coruscant guard's (unconventional) dating service: free for clones named fox || commander fox

square: "this is awkward" summary: this celebration only came once a year, and this time, the coruscant guard enlisted some help from other battalions to make sure that fox would finally admit his feelings for you.

a show of trust || commander wolffe

square: "do you trust me?" summary: sometimes the best solutions come from the minds of those who aren't soldiers, and wolffe has to get used to trusting others that are not his general or his vode.

filed under: incident reports || no romantic relationship 💐

square: 79’s summary: managing a bar was never easy, but you tried your best to keep things running smoothly, even if sometimes you had to make hard decisions or alternatively: a collection of 79’s most hilariously infamous incident reports, some which made you ponder a career change.

don't wait for the sky to clear || hunter

square: "you're an idiot" summary: When you wake up to hear a storm outside where the ship is parked, you recruit Omega to have some fun in the pouring rain with you. The only downside is the tired admonishment you'll inevitably receive from your boyfriend when he sees the two of you.

in the heat of battle || crosshair

square: bounty hunter summary: When Crosshair disobeys your direct orders in battle, you come to confront him about it. Things get a little heated from there.

dreaming of this || echo

square: "you're lucky you're cute" summary: You and Echo share a quiet moment and a dance before Cid's bar opens for the day.

weep not for what you've done, but rather who you've lost along the way || commander cody 💐

square: heartache summary: it wasn't supposed to happen like this, the man you loved wasn't supposed to be the one to end your life. and to make matters worse, you had to keep reliving it, over, and over, with no end in sight and no clear reason why you were subjected to a torture worse than your darkest nightmare.

you would have thought this heist would have been slightly more thought out, given the circumstances || platonic bad batch & reader

square: "let me do the talking" summary: Hunter has to sit out on an assignment because of an injury, and it becomes remarkably clear to everyone else that the position of "voice of reason" is not something that can be replaced, especially not when you're there.

no flirting in the jedi archives || fives

square: archive summary: When on shore leave, one could usually find Fives in the basement of the Jedi Temple, flirting with the primary caretaker of the Archives (even though he denies it when his brothers ask). Finally, he decides to just ask her out.

a little brotherly teasing || thorn

square: "your flirting skills need work" summary: He’s a high ranking commander, an expert in weaponry, and the Coruscant Guard’s man on the inside for this Senate gala, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to get a pass from the teasing. And it’s all because he’s a little too obvious about his giant crush on you.

ally, rival, friend? || rex

square: "you owe me" summary:  It’s not that he hates his general’s bounty hunter friend, but Rex is a little more prone to headaches whenever you’re on the flagship. This time though, he sees the chance to start over with you.

almost disasters || tech

square: cooking summary: Your beloved attempts to put together a surprise for you. Nothing about it really goes to plan. 

the strength to keep going || jesse

square: haunted summary: the more time you spent in the GAR, the more you came to know grief, especially when the casualties of the war were people you had grown close to. Jesse notices that you're struggling, and reaches out to help.

deep space delicacies || echo

square: stuck summary: In the midst of the war, you manage to find the time to bring about a different, more welcome kind of chaos: teaching the clones how to bake. The 501st take the opportunity to force you and Echo to admit how you feel about each other.

[the-little-moment]

The Dress

@freesia-writes super cute Crosshair fic inspired me to finally post this Echo/Senna one shot I wrote last year. It was going to be part of "Carcass" but I didn't think it fit the vibe. And the trope is so, well, tropey. 😂 Anyway, enjoy!

Echo has never had an opinion on flowers, never even really noticed them, until now.

Words: 822

Warnings: None

“Cid will die for this,” Senna gritted out, looking down at the fat bundle of plum-colored fabric in her hands. 

“It can’t be that bad,” Echo encouraged from beyond the fresher door. “And it’s just for one night.” 

The doctor glared at her reflection in the dirty mirror. Changing into a gown in the tiny fresher was going to be a nightmare that she was dreading already. “Would you like to wear it then?”

“Somehow I don’t think that’d have the desired effect.” 

“I don’t know, I think you’d be very distracting!” 

Echo was chuckling when the fresher door hissed open, revealing a deeply disgruntled Senna. 

“Do I get to see it?” He stepped back to let her out into the small hall of the Marauder. 

“Not until it’s absolutely unavoidable.”

“Something to look forward to then.”

Senna rounded on the pale clone, sticking out a finger in accusation. “Don’t you dare enjoy this. This is just what I needed to really round out my month, public humiliation.” 

Echo raised his hand and scomp in a placating gesture, but she could see he was biting back a grin. 

“Sen, you look…really nice.”

“No,” the doctor sighed. “But thank you anyway.”

“You really don’t think so?”

“Let’s just say that mine and Cid’s tastes differ.”

Echo snorted. “Can’t imagine that’s a bad thing.” 

It was the evening of the party in the sparkling city of Canto Bight and Echo was waiting with Senna while the others finished scoping out the lavish hotel that the doctor would be infiltrating. From the outside, it would be a gathering like any other, but Cid had told them that information was changing hands that night, information that was very valuable to the Trandoshan. If they completed this job, they'd be eating well. And Senna was the only one of them who could really blend in. 

Echo looked at her softly for a moment, taking in the smooth, brown skin of her bare arms. She’d look perfect in anything. “Well, what would you wear if you could choose?”

Senna frowned as she adjusted an earring. “I wouldn’t be going if it was my choice.”

“That’s a given. I meant more like, to something you actually wanted to attend.”

That made the doctor smile wistfully. She turned her back and lifted the fall of her hair so Echo could see the 99 on her shoulder blade. “Can you do the little hook at the top? Those things are literally impossible.”

Echo held his breath as his fingers brushed against her spine. He had to pull his glove off in order to get the infinitesimally tiny hook through the even more stupidly small loop, grunting in satisfaction when it caught. Add that to the list of things that would be easier with two hands. 

“When I was in school on Corrie, we had this dance every year. I only went once, because I was too busy the other years, but my roommate begged me. Anyway, my dress for that was probably my favorite thing I’ve ever worn.” She turned back to face him.

“What was it?” 

“It was—well actually it was about the same color as your Five-Oh-First armor, and it came down to the floor. There was a pattern of gold, four-point stars on the skirt. High collar, but sleeveless and no back.”

Echo swallowed. “Right. That sounds…”

“It was more my style than all this fluff,” the doctor sighed as she tried again to smooth down the gown’s exuberant skirt. 

“Well, I still say you look nice. Kinda like a flower.”

Senna smiled up at him. “A big, fluffy, purple flower named Sen.”

Echo was supposed to be keeping an eye on their target, but he was having trouble keeping his attention from wandering to a certain fluffy flower who was currently doing what he thought was an impressive job of playing the wealthy socialite. No one there would be able to guess that, only hours earlier, Senna had been changing in a tiny fresher on a beat up military shuttle.

He’d never seen her like this before, sparkling, with all of those genteel mannerisms she must have used in her life before Kamino. She’d always been elegant, with her Bar’lethi accent and gentle poise, but this was something else. Something she must not have needed for a long time now. 

The thought of her in the blue dress drifted across his mind. He would have paid good credits to see her in 501st blue, although it was difficult to imagine her looking more beautiful than she did right now. He barely managed not to jump when Hunter’s dry voice came through his comm. 

“Enjoying the view, Corporal?”

Echo was glad Hunter couldn’t see him grimace. “Just keeping an eye on…the situation.”

“Uh huh. Tech’s got eyes on Senna. You focus on our special friend.”

A sigh welled up inside Echo, but he wasn’t going to give Hunter the satisfaction of hearing it. It was going to be a long night.

[zoeykallus]

hiiii! happy holidays!! i was wondering if you would be interested in doing a hunter x fem reader one shot where hunter and reader have been friends for a long time (through the gar) and at a ball/dance/fancy event they see each other from across the room… stunning and beautiful and all done up *sigh* maybe some angst and some suggestive bits… as much as you would like hehe ;) thank you for everything!!

Aloha! Thanks! And sorry for the late response!

The idea sounds cute, let me see what I can do with this 😊

Hunter x Fem!Reader One-Shot - Seeing You With Different Eyes

Fluff/Romance/Friends To Lovers

____________________

You have no idea why you are so excited that Hunter will see you in an evening gown today. The thought quickens your pulse and tingles under your skin. You've been friends for a while, and yes, in some ways you are attracted to him, but you've never explored that feeling further until today.

You tug carefully, uncertainly at the dress you're wearing. The soft, gentle fabric nestles flatteringly against your body, it is partially transparent, feigning a certain nakedness, yet covering your entire body. A charming and yet very elegant sight. The dress moves gently with every movement, a mix of princess, elegant seductress and festive appearance. You love this dress, it is perfectly fitted to you, showing enough to be slightly seductive but not too much. You know you look great, you admired yourself in the mirror for a while for once, very pleased with your outfit.

It's not often that you feel so comfortable in your skin and clothes and the curious, amazed, interested and sometimes envious looks are balm for your soul.

You are quite sure Hunter can only love the sight, and yet you are nervous. In your mind you scold yourself a fool, why is this so important to you!!! You are friends, nothing more. But you would be lying if you denied that you are attracted to him. As much as you enjoy his friendship, because he's a great buddy, caring, kind, funny, sometimes you've felt it, that little longing echo deep inside you, the desire to be more to him than a friend.

Hunter has entered the hall, but hangs around in the entrance area, so that he can overlook the field, but does not come into focus. More or less unconsciously, he looks around for a familiar face, for you. He knows you're here today, too, and the thought tingles in his gut. He keeps nervously tugging at the collar of his unfamiliar dress uniform, an outfit he doesn't wear very often.

Then he sees you. You are like a sublime phenomenon, the dress you wear underlines your elegance, sexy, cute, adorable. He gulps and eyes you from a safe distance, you haven't spotted him yet. Hunter just can't tear his gaze from you.

His brothers, the rest of Clone Force 99, finally show up as well, standing uncertainly by him. They all look incredibly dapper in their dress uniforms, but also like they feel out of place.

Finally, your eyes meet. Hunter feels caught, he's been watching you the whole time, but he smiles at you from a distance, not avoiding your gaze. His heart is beating way too fast, he's surprised at his own nervousness. He's never seen you like this before.

"Damn, she looks beautiful," he murmurs softly to himself.

Echo who heard his words elbows him in the side and says, "Then what are you still standing around here for? Get over there."

Hunter clears his throat.

"I can't, we're friends, I shouldn't perceive her the way I'm doing right now…. besides, I'm way too nervous" he says uncertainly, inconspicuously wiping his sweaty palms on the fabric of his pants.

Crosshair rolls his eyes and grumbles, "I'm going to find a drink."

Hunter leans against one of the marble columns in the room, trying to look casual, still gazing at each other almost longingly from a distance.

Wrecker chuckles, "He's doing the pose."

Hunter looks at him with raised eyebrows.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Wrecker says, suppressing another giggle.

Hunter looks in your direction again, but you are no longer there. Almost in a panic, he scans the room with his gaze, feverishly searching for you. When he suddenly hears your voice very close, he nearly jumps out of his dress shoes.

"Hello Hunter."

He turns to you in surprise, his smile absolutely adorable.

"Hey," he says almost shyly, "you look stunning."

Heat rises in your cheeks, and you can't help but smile broadly.

"You don't look bad yourself," you say, folding your hands behind your back, afraid to wave them around nervously.

Hunter tugs at his collar again and says, "You think? Feels weird, very unfamiliar"

"Looks fantastic on you, though," you assure him.

He scratches the back of his head, changing his posture a little. You can tell he's nervous, but you blame it on the formal, unfamiliar event he's attending.

"Well, fantastic is probably an exaggeration," he says with a wry smile, leaning against the column again, but this time looking much more awkward than before.

Echo says quietly, "I can't watch this, I'm going to find Crosshair".

"Wait I'll come with you" Tech says hurriedly and follows Echo.

Wrecker stands there indecisive for a moment, but finally hastily follows his brothers and calls over his shoulder with a wink, "Don't do anything naughty, kids"

It takes a while for the initial nervousness to subside. You're both surprised by how unsettled you are with each other today, you've been friends for a long time and are actually pretty comfortable with each other. But today everything is different. Today, something has come to light from the depths of your being that holds you both under a spell.

The music wafts through the room, he finally dares to ask you for a dance, which you are only too happy to agree to, albeit with soft knees.

Slow dancing with Hunter, your heart beats up to your neck. The way he holds you, guides you, it seems so gentle and yet determined. After the dance, he doesn't take his hand off your hip as he leads you to the side to a quieter corner. His hand is still there as you look deeply into each other's eyes. Hunter is not even really aware of it, his subconscious just trying to make contact with you any way he can.

"You look at me differently today," you finally dare to say.

A slight pink tinge creeps into his cheeks as he replies, "I could say the same about you."

Shyly, you smile at him and admit softly, "True."

Several seconds pass, heartbeat after heartbeat. Then it happens, you don't know exactly how, but his face comes closer and closer, he leans towards you. Your eyes close, it's like magnetic attraction. His lips touch yours, they are softer and warmer than you expect. The kiss begins softly, almost chastely, but it lasts long, his lips lingering on yours for a sweet little eternity.

You are almost dizzy with excitement, your hands grasp the jacket of his uniform, afraid to lose your footing at any moment. When your lips slowly separate as if in slow motion, you open your eyes again and look into his, you are a little breathless.

You look at Hunter, he knows just like you, there is no turning back now, the cat is out of the bag. There's nothing left to deny, and you don't want to. You can tell by his smile that he feels the same way.

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

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[photogirl894]

Hello! I was wondering I could request 4, 8, 23 and 24 with Crosshair x fem!reader? like Crosshair and the reader have crushes on eachother and reader knows her feelings but Crosshair doesn't and he's just so new to physical affection and he's like "what is this? Am I sick?"

Hey there, friend! Aw man, that's such a cute concept and I love it! I hope you like this one!

"Lovesick"

4. A hug after not seeing someone for a long time

8. Brushing hands by accident

23. A hug that some might consider as "too long"

24. Confusing a handshake for a fist bump

Pairing: Crosshair x fem reader

***

Crosshair wasn't certain when he suddenly found himself attracted to you...and it was making him question things about himself.

Had it started when you had first met the Bad Batch after being assigned to them as their medic? When Hunter made him be polite and offer a handshake in greeting and instead, you'd given him a fist bump to try and catch him off guard? That first day, the squad learned pretty quickly that you were a quirky, bubbly, optimistic woman; a kind of person they were certainly not used to. Though, the others had seemed to warm up to you pretty quickly. It was still taking Crosshair a little bit to get used to you, though.

Or had it started when you both had reached for a bacta patch in the med bay one day when you were attending to him and your hands had accidentally brushed together? He swore there had been a light electric shock sent through him upon feeling your skin in such a gentle way. It felt smooth and pleasant to the touch, though he would never say that out loud.

However, recently, you had been temporarily reassigned to another Clone squad who had lost their medic and needed a substitute medic until they were given a new one. You'd been gone for a few weeks now and Clone Force 99 was starting to miss you. Even Crosshair found he was missing you...and it was messing with his head something fierce.

There was just something about you that made it so he couldn't get you off his mind. Was he going soft? No, that wasn't possible. He was a soldier, there was no way he could go soft, especially not over a woman. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. Maybe he was sick or something. That was the only way to explain why you were the only thing he could think about and focus on.

One day, he snuck Tech's datapad away from his brother and snuck out into the cockpit of the Marauder. He tried using it to scan his temperature and bodily functions to see if he was sick in some way. Though, every time he looked, things looked normal. That couldn't be right.

"Worthless thing," he muttered, smacking the side of it with his hand.

"What are you doing?" he then heard Tech's voice ask and when he turned, he saw both Tech and Echo standing just a few feet away.

"Your datapad is broken," Crosshair replied.

"That is impossible. I calibrated it myself," Tech stated. "Perhaps it is user error."

Crosshair just sneered at him before tossing the datapad back to him.

"Why were you scanning yourself?" inquired Echo.

"I thought I was sick or something, but it doesn't matter," said Crosshair, folding his arms across his chest.

"It has to do with (Y/N), doesn't it?"

Crosshair's head whipped around so quickly, he almost gave himself whiplash, his eyes flashing with irritated shock.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out. You've been different; more distracted since she left," Echo clarified. Then a slight grin crossed his face. "You're not sick, Crosshair...you're just lovesick."

"Stow it, I am not," Crosshair shot back.

"Then perhaps it will please you to know that she sent word that she will be returning to us and will meet us when we arrive on Coruscant," Tech then said.

Despite his best efforts, Crosshair couldn't fully hide the delight in his eyes upon hearing you'd be coming back and both Echo and Tech exchanged knowing glances.

Before long, they reached Coruscant and saw you were already on the landing platform waiting for them. You ran to each member of the Bad Batch and gave each of them a quick hug, exclaiming "I'm so glad to see you guys again!" as you did so.

When you reached Crosshair, he tried to refuse and resist your advance, but you weren't going to let the grumpy Clone off that easy. You wrapped your arms around his slender waist and hugged him the tightest, having admittedly missed him the most in your time away. Crosshair stood there awkwardly with his arms out, wondering what he should even do. He expected the hug to be quick like it had been with the others, but you weren't letting go yet. He had to do something instead of standing there like an idiot. Gradually, his arms came down and barely touched your shoulders as if touching you was going to harm him. However, as he looked down on you, he felt his entire body beginning to warm up at your embrace; a warmth that felt different than anything else he'd experienced before. All of a sudden, his arms enfolded you into him and he hugged you back just as closely.

Your absence had seemingly left a hole inside him he hadn't realized had been there until this moment. Your presence in his life, even if you were a bit too enthusiastic at times for his liking, was something he found he needed and never wanted to lose. He supposed he was more used to you than he initially thought. Your hug was lasting longer than he expected, but deep down, he never wanted it to end, feeling as though he could hold you for forever. You were too precious to him...and he was glad to finally understand why he'd been feeling so off in recent weeks.

"Don't ever leave me for that long again, do you hear me?" he whispered into your ear, only realizing too late he had said "me" instead of "us".

You chuckled, a sound that was music to his ears. "I won't leave you, Crosshair, I promise," you said quietly back. Your arms tightened around him. "I missed you most of all."

"I--I missed you, too," he said.

Crosshair supposed Echo had been right: he was lovesick...and you were his only cure.

Physical Affection prompts

More Crosshair fics

Bad Batch Writing Requests

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TBB s3 ep4 Thoughts!!!

Oooohh starting off strong

Omega immediately wanting to go back because “it’s right”

Crosshair wanting to keep moving, not because he’s scared of going back but because he understands that he can’t help anyone if he’s dead

Ah there he is. The bitch. The Hemcock.

I wanna say Nala Sa deserves to be in prison but idk I’m starting to feel for her

Pretty sure she won’t survive the season though

IM SORRY THAT SHOT WHERE THE COAT IS HANGING OVER THAT POWER LINE???

is that,,,, a reference to yanno,,, shoes hanging from a power line?

hahahahahahah poncho stormtroopers

“You’re the one who wanted to bring… the hound.”

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM

best duo this show has given us

If Hunter was the hesitant but willing dad, Crosshair is the exasperated older brother that was forced to bring his younger sister to the party he was invited to an now has to spent all night watching her

Ey not cool Omega. Someone was using that jacket to advertise their business

“See, isn’t this better?” “No.” “Ugh.”

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA

“I could take out half of them before they even know what happened” 😳😳

Yeah, I believe you sir

Damn fuck how many more clone crushes will I have to be burdened with

Jesus Christ

“That went well” “Stow it”

THEM

YOUR HONOUR

THEM!!!

Scottish Robot ahhahahahahaha

Say what you will about Crosshair, when that dude sat down across from Omega he was ready for a FIGHT

big ol’ softie <3

“You or your dad”

Glad Hunter wasn’t there to hear that

Or Crosshair for that matter

Both would’ve blown their cover

Tbh Crosshair makes a fair point about leaving while they can. The planet is filled with Empirials and they are running out of time

But he also hasn’t been part of a team in a while and maybe he’s forgotten some of what that entails too

Either way, loving how “selfless” and “selfish” are meeting in this ep

“I’ll do it your way BUT I WOULD LIKE THE RECORD TO REFECT THAT I DONT WIKE IT!”

Crosshair giving Omega a boost to get over the wall I’m crying

“Shouldn’t we free the other animals too?” “Don’t push it.”

HE IS MY SOULMATE (based on sarcasm. I am vegetarian and I would free those animal friendos in a heartbeat)

The extra head shake and eye roll at that question too, he is already so done I can’t hahahahahahahah

“I hope your take-offs are better than your landings” “we’re about to find out”

Aaaaaaand that just reminded me that Tech was the one who taught her to fly

🥲🥲🥲🥲

That fucking shriek when the stormtrooper got blasted by the engine hahahahahaha

Ohohoh altered batch theme after take off? Okayokayokay I see you👀

Jesus Christ, Crosshair trying to prepare Omega for the very real possibility that Hunter and Wrecker are dead?

Like I know it seems cruel and defeatist but it’s actually kind in a way

Managing expectations in order to save her from a worse fall out

FUCK I THOUGHT I’D HAVE TO WAIT TILL NEXT EPISODE FOR THEM REUNION

JESUS

AAAAAAHHHHH

“We crossed the galaxy four times looking for you”

SIR

I AM QUACKING

why did Hunter’s appearance suddenly piss me off

Like Wrecker had a cute line and Hunter had to walk up like

“Um, five actually”

Like idk it felt like he was taking over the moment (which makes sense because he’s her dad but still it just sounded awkward)

EXCUSE ME??? I BEG YOUR BIGGEST PARDON??

Omega just explained that she only got off that planet AND survived so far thanks to Crosshair and all they can do is look all bitchy butt-hurt

Like I expected this from Hunter but why isn’t Wrecker hugging him?

Bc they went looking for Cross before, I thought we were past the straight up hate?

Love how stoically Cross is taking it though

I have to admit, so far this is one of my all time favourites. The comedic timing, the very real story line, the confrontation of previously opposed characters? Wonderful. But the pièce de résistance? Crosshair’s character description rings true again. “Severe and unyielding” Tech had said. I’ve rambled about this a lot recently, but the boiled down version is that when Crosshair commits to something, he commits all the way. Like how he committed to the Empire so hard that he hunted down his brothers. Or when he finally decided the Empire was a bunch of shitbags and shot officer shitbag (I forget his name) in the face. He has now decided to commit to Omega, for whatever reason. And it shows. Because even when she tells him to go, he’s literally only a minute behind her. He lets her employ her own strategies despite his preference and experience. He’s ready to beat up Captain Dickhead (did they even give him a name?) for sitting down across from her. He tells her to get into the ship first while he lays down cover fire.

Crosshair’s next “severe and unyielding” decision is Omega’s safety. And I couldn’t be more excited to see where it goes!

AND I cannot believe how much I suddenly like his character. I was so disinterested in him for like s1 and maybe 90% of s2 but now I am more interested in what becomes of him than I am in what the deal is with Omega’s M-count.

I’m saying it now. These seasons hyper focuses are: Rex, Echo and Crosshair (in that order) (for now, we’ll see)

Thanks to everyone who sat through that, have a good day/night/whatever, friend!

[heyclickadee]

So, today on silly headcanons that don’t matter and would probably never apply to the batch’s situation but I like them anyway: Random thoughts on what would happen if each of the batchers had to make a cake (and had unlimited access to all of the ingredients that they’d need):

Omega: Woo!! Cake!! *makes a bunch of space chocolate (there’s space chocolate, right?) cupcakes with a few different colors of icing so that she can put them together and make it look like Ruby. Wrecker keeps walking by to help out and even sneaks her some ruby chocolate chips so it can be a ruby chocolate Ruby cupcake cake. The end result is very cute, even if Omega does have to end up having to use mantell mix to make the face (someone kept eating her cupcakes and she ran out by the time she got to the face). The kitchen, though—it’s a complete disaster by the end, and Omega had the best time making that mess*

Hunter: So…my batter’s cured solid in the mixer. Is that supposed to happen? *Okay, so, his cake looks gorgeous. He’s managed to paint a sunset on Pabu onto what looks like a three tiered cake with buttercream, and it’s got this amazing texture and impressionistic look. Unfortunately, when you cut into it, it’s just three tiers of ground up ration bars fused into a kind of concrete using burnt caramel. It tastes like sand and death.*

Echo: It’ll be perfect as long as I follow the recipe. *He looks at the recipe, sees at least five ingredients he can’t eat, and decides to make a smoothie that he can eat instead. He’s not a big fan of cake, and that’s okay. It’s a really good smoothie.*

Tech: Baking is just chemistry. What could go wrong? *Lots of things. Lots of things can go wrong. Turns out that chemistry (outside of biochem) is a bit of a blind spot for Tech, and our guy can’t just follow directions without experimenting a little. Or a lot. In the end, he does end up with something. It’s not cake, but it’s definitely something. Some might call it clam chowder in a bread bowl. Really good clam chowder in a bread bowl. Just—it’s definitely not cake.*

Crosshair: Hhmm. *Crosshair can’t be too bothered to make a cake, so he buys three boxes of space funfetti cake mix, follows the directions on the box exactly, stacks the three funfetti cakes with funfetti icing in between, and then decorates the whole thing with the icing leftover from both Hunter’s and Omega’s cakes. That said, his piping is amazing. Everyone’s afraid to eat his cake because it looks so pretty. He also ate about five of Omega’s cupcakes, but it’s okay—she kept putting them on his side of the table so that he would.*

Wrecker: YEAH! CAKE TIME, BABY!! *disappears for three days and re-emerges with this gravity defying illusion cake that looks like the Maurader flying over a rocky moon full of B-1s. The B-1s are made of tempered chocolate and full of salted caramel, he’s using at least four different flavors of cake and three different kinds of cream filling, there’s a ganache river on the moon surface, the marauder cake is actually levitating (because Star Wars), it has jets of sugar glass that actually light up coming out of the engine, AND it fires choux pastry proton bombs that actually explode with jogan fruit mousse when they hit the ground. There’s even a whole section especially made for Echo so that he can eat it. And it all tastes perfect. He ends up the designated cake guy on the rare occasions they need a cake, and he couldn’t be more delighted.*