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#I thought I'd grown out of this
bluevaractyl · 5 months
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Anyone know the feeling when your throat feels tight and you just can't make words no matter how much you want to? And trying makes you feel like crying for no good reason
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spaceratprodigy · 7 months
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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉
Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤
I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer ����💕
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main#so much has happened in these past 10 years#I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future#but I did and I do#I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible#I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return#I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself#I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better#I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like#I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of#I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over#I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder#I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive#and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person#I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore#I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly#he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do#god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me#you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you#it's always been you#I fucking love you#more than anything in this universe and the next#forever and always#my art#glad I listened to my first tag lmao
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papermonkeyism · 9 months
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sorry for being active
logical... i think I'm annoying you too much /especially with my bad English/, and if you don't want to answer, that'll be fine ^^` in any case, thanks for your attention! i'm probably overthinking this, but...
the last question was, what is Crippled (and the others for that matter) afraid of? I understand that all the hounds lived in a pretty terrible place, but what about simple, almost human things like darkness and loneliness? Surama seems quite fearless to me, despite her dislike of the dark, unlike her brother (okay, he's just quite active), and Iacar is reliving the past. of course, they worry about each other, I think, but... hey, admit it, who is afraid of thunderstorms? :)
sorrysorrysorry ^^`
English isn't my first language either (terveisiä Suomesta). It's just that I'm wary.
I do not currently live in a creative enough environment nor life situation where I can reasonably sacrifice several days out of my week into such a demanding creative work, alone, without burning out.
And every time I so much as casually mention Wurr online, there's usually at least one person who'll come and let me know how tragic it is that I've "decided" to "abandon" my "great story and characters". (Or, in one case, how irrelevant and pathetic I am as a failure of a person. Fuck that one, though.)
Like, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown because of health and livelihood issues back in last spring that I'm still occasionally dealing with (one's systolic blood pressure is definetely not supposed to stay over 190 for long), and I just don't want to be dealing with the people sending me obituaries for my comic on top of that right now.
Like, maybe, maybe, if I one day move closer to Tampere to have my Brainstorm Buddy in my reach regularly again. I miss having creative company.
But right now? I'm just tired.
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applejongho · 5 months
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sometimes.......
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turtlemagnum · 3 months
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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doctorho · 1 year
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you know...i've recently had to learn about lab-grown crystals and their use in science for work-related purposes, and....look, i think it wouldn't be difficult to spin a cute little fic around some of this.
like...did you know that when you're growing crystals for specific kinds of scientific instruments, they have to be monocrystals in structure? and if that fails, they don't work properly, and can be made into jewelry instead so they don't go to waste?
like can you IMAGINE. jayce studying different kinds of crystals. maybe (allegedly) growing some. in like, a dorm room or something. testing stuff. it's his free time, he can do what he wants! personal projects are allowed, encouraged, even. and he's got all his own equipment! (and, you know, some of this stuff needs really specific containers - yes that is a vacuum chamber, don't touch it. don't sit on it!)
and it's pretty! they're different colors! they reflect light! humans are only so far away from crows in regards of dna, okay?
(don't touch that with you bare hands!)
(why? is it radioactive or something?)
(no, but you'll leave fingerprints and it'll distort the light beams!)
and he's careful about it! he knows what he's doing! most of the time! he wears goggles, he wears gloves, he's responsible!
but...look, sometimes things don't work out, and sometimes stuff breaks, and...yeah, it would be a shame for the pieces to go to waste!
so...maybe he makes it into jewelry. it's basically the same skill set. or, okay, not quite, but whatever. they're pretty! they still reflect light, just differently now!
and...look, he doesn't know why, but holding the crystal pieces is comforting, somehow, even when they're broken and functionally useless. This specific type is heavier than it looks, and there's something...grounding, in that. So he'll make something out of it, something to hold.
and maybe he'll give it as a gift.
maybe it's a thank you for helping him! for being there!
or maybe it's just a gift.
for, you know, just...being.
humans are only so far from crows, after all.
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rossithepixie · 8 months
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can't lie.. Childe gets some great fighting sequences.
Also you guys have no idea how much restraint it took me to not liveblog me playing the main quest in fontaine. No idea. I fucking loved it though.
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morethansalad · 2 years
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Avocado (Persea americana)
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tea-twords · 2 years
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It's like 3am and I just remembered this time when I was little trying to explain how I feel about tickling to my mom, but little me was so confused about how I felt I just said I hated it and to never tickle me again💀
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The Isaac comic is gonna be longer than I anticipated lol
I thought it would be 6-7 pages but it’s looking more like 10-12
And this one is just part 1 
I’m having fun with it though, trying new things with panels and text and what not
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onewordshy · 1 year
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Since I stopped doing theatre I don't really sing anymore but I'm feeling nostalgic tonight so here's an impromptu take of me singing "Sail Away" (aka "The Moon Lullaby") from Fraggle Rock. This song has been like a charm for me, always there when I need it.
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soratsuart · 2 years
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On the topic of The Owl House and expectations for new fans
You know, something I've been thinking about after hearing the reaction of someone I follow to The Owl House is how the fandom's treatment of the series can set some very high expectations for new viewers who might be disappointed when those expectations aren't met immediately.
Don't get me wrong, The Owl House is one of my favorite pieces of fiction ever, and I genuinely believe it's a great show with incredible writing and complex characters. But I also think that's not really apparent immediately after you start watching the show. The reason? The first season.
It most likely has to do with Disney's censorship that slowly disappeared as the crew stopped caring once the third season was officially cut short but I think it may be due to the nature of this season as well. The first season doesn't have a clear objective or plot, it almost seems episodic and focuses mostly on world building and character introductions, with some notable but slow character development. If I had to point at who I believe had the biggest development throughout this season that would be Amity and Willow, mostly because they needed to change a lot and fix their relationship in order to face what the second season had in store for them. This is not to say the others didn't get any development; you can see a clear difference in Luz at the end of the season, the same applying to Eda and King and other characters. But it's not as apparent as the others.
I believe the first season is good and fun. It has to be if it made so many fans, including myself, fall in love with the Boiling Isles and all its inhabitants. But it's not the master piece the show has come to be. Essential? Yes. It's the base. It's what the second and third season, with their darker plotline, their complex characters and their amazing writing, were built on. They wouldn't hold together if it weren't there. But it probably isn't what new viewers are expecting when hearing all the praises the show gets.
What I mean to say essentially is: When recommending the show to other people I think it's fair to warn that the first season is good. It's enjoyable. But it's not where the best part of the show is. That one should be patient until reaching season 2 and just take the time in season 1 to enjoy themself and explore the world and characters its presenting, instead of expecting to jump straight into action. Otherwise I think many might drop it and miss the good part of the show simply because they had the expectations set too high too soon.
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astrxealis · 2 years
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HELLO. I’M DONE PLAYING NIER AUTOMATA FOR TODAY. 4 HOURS HOORAY. words cannot describe how good this game is and how much i love it (btw i’m in the part w pascal now hehe)
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themidnightcircusshow · 2 months
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Do You Have a Favorite Pokemon?
I'm so basic but I love Pikachu so freaking much ^.^" I don't remember if I had a different favourite as a kid, but last halloween my friend and I found halloween Pikachu plushies and now we've both started collecting Pokemon so I'm just getting more and more Pikachu things. I might change my mind when I rewatch the anime, but for now Pikachu is my baby.
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oldhabitsdiescrming · 4 months
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#tate.txf#vent post#vent#tw vent#listening to so long london right now and fuck. fuck!#i remember hearing it the first time and realizing i was Not as healed as i thought i was.#while my relation to it isn't through a relationship-technically-it IS about the girl who groomed the fuck out of me at 13 years old ❤️#i was friends with her for three years and jesus fucking christ. she fucked me up in ways i'm still reeling from.#i took care of her-this grown ass adult-through everything. things no kid should be hearing about.#i was fourteen and not sleeping. when i did she would threaten to off herself because i wasn't replying.#i went HOUSE HUNTING for her. i was looking into odd jobs because i thought she needed my help.#when i finally took a mental health break after three years of carrying her sadness like a weight#she called me a monster. i was sixteen years old and watching someone who swore they loved me say the most horrible#god awful things. things i wouldn't say to the person i hated.#i had so many panic attacks over her. i would get in trouble because of how hard i fought to be there for her. i was a kid.#carrying a sadness that became my own purely because she deemed me vulnerable enough to carry the weight.#it's been years#and i am finally so. so. so angry.#i'm finally the age she was when she groomed me and i just. i don't understand. i don't understand how you can do that to a child.#im pissed off she let me give her that youth for free. im just getting color back into my face. she deserves prison but she won't get time.#i'm so angry after all this time. i wish her well. i hate her. i'm hurting. i don't understand any of it.#why was it my job to carry her up the hill? how much sadness did she think i had in me prior to her entry into my life?#i'm still afraid to talk to people. to make friends. to respond to my existing friends.#because i didn't know it was coming with her.#for a while there i'd believed i could forgive her. now i know i don't owe her that.#i am just getting color back into my face. i am mad as hell because i gave up my youth for someone who couldn't care less at the end.#oh the tragedy.#to delete#just had to finally say it somewhere.
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aparticularbandit · 6 months
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This is why Junko specifically needs Kyoko.
She put the pieces in place for Kyoko to figure out her murder before it happens.
Really, Junko needs Yui, too. (She says she doesn't.)
Yui is the detective who specializes in kidnapping and finding people (which is what needs to be done in OAFC), as well as being the person who looks at the Black Challenge letters in such a way.
Kyoko accepts that there may be losses, that they may not be able to solve everything before the murder happens, but they can still catch the criminal after the fact.
Yui refuses. Yui wants to make sure no one dies.
Junko needs Yui just as much as she needs Kyoko. Except that Yui is not available to her. Fortunately, Kyoko spent enough time with Yui that perhaps this influenced her way of thinking (even if I'd argue we don't see this happening in DR1, with the exception of when she stepped in and saved Makoto. It's possible the reason we didn't see this happening is a reflection of her missing memories; the more she regains them, the more she can be more than just a detective - and she didn't know she was a detective until later. Not the point).
I love when reading stuff ties back into fanfic I'm already writing. It's so nice. Affirming, even!
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