#I took like a semester of film so it kind of helps

[divine-donna]

pretentious(?) cinephile patrick zweig.

call it a college au i guess

technically, he's a business student. he's just minoring in cinema studies, which was your major. you always hated the business school kids that came into your literature class (because film is literature) and thought it would be easy. and then they'd be surprised that they were failing because they didn't do the readings and when they participated, it was with shallow commentary. you don't even want to recount how many racist, misogynistic, queerphobic things were said in the class (in general too).

which is why patrick zweig pisses you off.

patrick zweig actually loves film. and unlike the other business boys, he understands that wolf of wall street is a cautionary tale.

"i wouldn't want to end up like him." he said. "doesn't mean i can't enjoy the movie."

patrick zweig actually has good taste in film. okay, maybe not "good" taste because "good" is always subjective. he's a bit of a film snob. you can't believe that he likes Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles. you really hated the movie, mostly because it felt like an eternity. that might have also been because you were high watching it. sometimes weed has that effect.

at first glance, he seems like the kind of guy to dismiss foreign films because of subtitles. except you learned that he regularly consumes—and seeks out—foreign cinema. he grew up on foreign cinema.

"my dad's big into french films. that's how i started watching them." he explained to your french cinema professor.

you swear he's in every cinema studies class possible. and he recognizes you too.

"excited for this semester (y/n)? i'm looking forward to the syllabus."

now, patrick being patrick, he mostly skims the readings. rarely does he closely read. he finds himself getting distracted easily. and it's not really helpful with the multiple times you've worked with him whether it's as discussion leader or doing a group project.

there's the rare occasion you've seen patrick zweig in business class. and to say the least, he looks miserable. sometimes, he's so bored that he's doing the readings for your class.

"why don't you switch majors?" "because business school is just to appease my parents."

you don't 100% believe his answer. or maybe he's right in thinking that it will appease his parents. you're not all too knowing about his home life. you guys just have class together. until...

"wanna smoke?"

a joint before your screening. you guys were watching Spike Lee's School Daze for the race and american film class. he's never seen it. you have. maybe the colors will pop even more if you took a hit.

"sure."

so you guys find the smoke corner and light the joint. you inhale and make small talk. patrick zweig isn't the asshole he seems to be. he carries himself with such douchebaggery that it seems to be a defense mechanism. and you learn during that smoking session that he isn't really pretentious. he's just really passionate.

"i hate Prometheus." he says. "what? how can you hate Prometheus? Prometheus is so good! it's like right up your alley!" you cough as you inhale. "listen, i may be a film snob. and sometimes i can be an asshole about it. but ridley scott is a bigger asshole than me." patrick takes the joint to inhale. when he blows, the smoke sort of billows around him. it frames his frankly gorgeous face. "lean into the haunted house of the Alien franchise. don't try to turn it into something deeper when it already had such interesting themes."

School Daze was a watch. patrick had a lot of thoughts, but he seemed to barely express them in class. he saved it for his letterboxd review.

"you have letterboxd?" "duh." he glances at you as you guys are walking to the bus stop. "what's your username?" "ppzweig." "you can't be serious. that's so immature of you!" but also so on brand for patrick zweig. "i made the account a long time ago okay! i'll follow you back if you follow me."

so you do follow him.

you learn quickly that patrick reviews for nearly every movie he watches. the exception are rewatches (if there isn't anything left to say) and films that just didn't really interest him or were terrible. oh and you see through his reviews that he really hates tarantino. actually very surprising! patrick always had something to say though. you loved terrorizing him when he walked into class.

"hey so why did you rate Alien: Resurrection four stars?" "what happened to hello? how are you?"

side note: i did make a top 10 list of films that i think patrick would have. idk how character accurate this is but he strikes me as such:

Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975)

Trainspotting (1996)

Night of the Hunter (1955)

Citizen Kane (1941)

Amélie (2001)

A Clockwork Orange (1972)

Boogie Nights (1997)

Taxi Driver (1976)

The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Lady Snowblood (1973)

[qprstobin]

Stobin Different First Meeting AU where they go to prom together. This was meant to be an au post and turned into a mini fic oops (written completely within a tumblr post so sorry for the poor quality)

(edit: realized I should link the fic I was inspired by for those who don't follow me and so didn't see me reblog it earlier)

Steve doesn't necessarily want to go to prom, right? Like yeah, he'd been imagining it for a while, but now that he was very, very single it just didn't have the same shine that it used to. And he really wasn't ready to start dating yet. However, he didn't want to just, not go to prom, and also knew it would seem really weird (and pretty fucking sad) if he didn't go.

Which leaves him in a conundrum.

He thought for a while that maybe he would go with one of the junior cheerleaders. While he didn't have any close friends anymore, he was still friendly with plenty of people. There were girls that wouldn't be going to prom unless they had a senior boyfriend - some he had even gone on dates with in the past who wouldn't think a single prom date meant that he wanted a new girlfriend.

However, he is pretty sure most of those girls would have... other expectations for the night. And honestly? He isn't quite sure that he was ready to get back on that horse either.

... Not that he thought women were horses.

He's pretty sure men are normally the ones called horses in riding metaphors.

Anyway.

That left him stuck. He couldn't just not go to prom, but also didn't want to wind up trapped on an actual date with someone. So who could he ask?

His solution ended up coming from an odd place.

Robin Buckley was... quite honestly, kind of a weirdo.

She was cute, in an alternative sort of way. She never took any of his shit (he wasn't completely sure she even liked him) but also reluctantly laughed at the snarky shit he said under his breath during their Film History class. And not in the fake giggly way girls did when they were flirting, but didn't actually care about what he was saying, just the way he said it. She actually seemed to think he was funny. Even if that revelation seemed to piss her off.

The only reason he was even in Film History that semester - and therefore, knew who she was - was for the easy A. He got to watch movies in class, and watch movies for homework. He was willing to plow through a couple of shitty essays in exchange for a class that he didn't feel like a complete idiot in.

(Well, he was pretty sure Robin thought he was an idiot about movies, but just because he had trouble remembering the names and shit of characters, didn't mean he couldn't analyze the themes, fuck you very much, Buckley.)

They had gotten assigned a project together early on, and it hadn't been completely terrible. She had quickly taken over doing most of the writing portions, but hadn't thought all of his ideas were terrible. By the end of the project he thought they were even sort of having fun together.

He'd always been one to try his luck, take a little more than he was given. So, after that assignment was over, he started sitting next to her in class, not wanting that easy, if sharp, camaraderie to end. Robin rolled her eyes at him and asked him what he thought he was doing the first time he did it, but she never sent him away.

They ended up chatting more and more during down times, passing notes to each other and sharing sly comments under their breaths during the movies. Steve often had trouble paying attention at school, his mind easily wandering away, and it was almost as bad during most movies, but Robin helped keep him on track.

The class turned into one that was done for the easy grade, a last ditch effort to improve his already hopeless GPA, and became one he actually enjoyed.

The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea of going to prom with Robin. It made the night seem a little less unbearable.

He thought about making a big deal out of asking her, because he knows that's what girls (and even Nancy) had enjoyed for past dances. He quickly scrapped that idea, however, because not only did he not want to put pressure on her like that, but also she seemed to hate public spectacles like that.

Or at least when aimed at her, they both enjoyed watching drama unfold in the halls a bit too much to say she hated it completely.

So Steve waits until the end of the day, their film class being their last, to pull her into an empty classroom. She follows him without question in a show of trust he didn't realize she had in him. The notion warms him, and for some reason makes it more difficult to get the question out.

"Why do I feel like you're about to try to sell me drugs or something?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow at him. He squints at her in offense.

"Why is that your first assumption?!"

"I don't know! Why else are you pulling me out of the hallway all secretive like, making sure no one followed us, into an abandoned classroom," she asks, throwing her arms into the air.

"The classroom isn't abandoned, it's the end of the day! Also, who does drug deals on campus, that's just stupid?" He asks rhetorically, before waving one hand through the air, as if trying to erase the current thread of conversation. "That doesn't matter, you're distracting me."

"Well then, get on with it! Some of us have practice we need to get to."

"It's like talking to the kids," he mutters to himself, "Whatever. I wanted to ask - will you go to prom with me?"

That stops Robin up short. There's panic in her eyes now, though Steve isn't sure what exactly put it there. Was his reputation that bad that even band geeks are terrified of getting asked out by him?

"You want to go on a date? With me?" she asks slowly, disbelief coloring her voice, though it doesn't hide her unease.

"No, I want to go to prom with you," he scoffs, "Not go on a date with you."

"That is a date, dingus! The person you go to prom with is literally called your date!"

"Okay, sure, maybe, but I don't actually want to date you," he said, rolling his eyes at her.

Like, okay, he understood his reputation for being... what did she call him last week? A 'huge effing rake'? But that didn't mean that he was trying to date any girl that looked in his direction. A lot of girls looked in his direction. That was too many women, even for him.

Robin relaxes a little at that.

"Then why are you asking me to prom instead of someone you actually want to date?"

"Because!" he says, resisting the urge to flail his hands back at her. "I don't want to date anyone right now. Most people I ask are going to expect all these things from me - they're going to want dinner, and at the very least a kiss at the end of the night if not more, or another date the very next day. Because Steve Harrington is supposed to want those things!" He takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair to calm himself. "But right now? I really don't."

"Well then, what does Steve the Hair Harrington actually want?" She had relaxed fully at this point, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

"I want to go to prom with someone I consider a friend, someone who makes me laugh," he says after a moment of silence. "I want to dance badly to really corny pop music and drink just enough spiked punch that I don't remember how much I hate wearing any sort of tie. Then I want to go get milkshakes or go see a really trashy midnight horror flick, just because I'm having so much fun I don't want the night to end."

That small smile has grown into a reluctant grin on Robin's face. It makes her eyes shine and her freckles pop. Steve thought that if he was in a better place, if they had met at a different time, he could have fallen in love with her.

But they had met now instead, in some shitty public school elective course, and she was the closest thing he had to a friend that wasn't a snotty middle schooler.

"That sounds... like a lot of fun, actually," she says, mischief sparking on her face. "Who would've known the hidden depths hidden behind all that hair."

"Hey!" he protests half-heartedly, unable to keep a grin of his own off his face. "So what do you say? Wanna go to prom with me?"

"I guess," she sighs, acting like it was such a trial to go to prom with him. Him! But her next words make up for it. "Since we're friends, and all. However, I still expect you to buy me dinner, though you can keep the kiss goodnight to yourself."

Steve can't help the giddy laugh from spilling out of him. For the first time in weeks, he is actually looking forward to prom.

[fae-renjun]

OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE CAMERA — h.sh

ep. 2 — audition day! [𖦹 wc: 730+]

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— leehan coughed lightly to get your attention, “huh? oh. sorry, i’m just zoned out.”

“yeah i could tell,” he replied with a laugh

you smiled and looked back down at the scripts on the desk in front of you, overwhelmed by the fact that it was finally happening, you were finally making a film. the idea of watching people act out the scenes you wrote was daunting.

“i think a couple of people are already here, should i let them in?” you looked at the digital clock above the door, the red lights on it flashed 11:49. 

"tell them to wait a bit longer, i need to um-"

"it’s ok if you’re nervous. just because it’s a college short film doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to you."

“thanks. and thanks for helping out again, i know the other three are busy for another hour but sungchan said him and his friends should be coming to help.”

“it’s no problem y/n, we’re all doing this together.” “honestly i don’t know what i would do without you guys.”

“you’d probably suffer,” he said, trying to alleviate your stress before going out to tell the people auditioning to wait longer. 

you took a deep breath. you can do this y/n. it’s just auditions. 

leehan walked back into the studio with sungchan, wonbin, eunseok and anton in tow. you greeted each other, and you thanked them for taking the time to help. “i just want to watch seunghan embarrass himself honestly,” said anton, which was met with eunseok hitting his chest so he followed up with, “-and to help. obviously.”

you laughed, “it’s ok, there’s not that much for you to do anyway, just take these scripts,” you picked up the stack from the desk and walked over to them, “and pass them around when the auditionees come in.”

before you knew it, 10 minutes had passed by, so when the clock showed 11:59, you got the boys to call the auditionees in. it was only about 10 people, some you recognised, some you didn’t. you’d made a lot of time for auditions, knowing there were people that had classes and could only show up later. what you didn’t expect was how many people would show up.

in total, 34 people auditioned for the 4 available roles. you were in for a lot of difficult decision making that night. your frontrunners for the female lead were ahn yujin from your year and kim minjeong, a senior. you definitely knew minjeong better, having hung out with her before since her and karina went to high school together. but while both played the part better than anyone in that room, yujin brought such a realistic edge to the character, it was fascinating to watch her audition because you could really feel your character come to life. 

the male lead front runners were sung hanbin and hong seunghan. you knew seunghan from a few classes you’d taken together in the past, and because he was friends with sungchan, a highschool classmate of yours. he was on the basketball team, and you’d seen a couple of games of his. you knew he was good at basketball, but you’d never expected him to be so good at acting. in many ways he felt like your character had been lifted off the page and become a real person. you were trying desperately to ignore the tiny bias in your head towards him, courtesy of the crush you’d had last semester. 

hanbin on the other hand, was vice-captain of the dance team, and was expected to take over once shotaro (the current captain) graduated. he had a natural talent for performance of all kinds, as was evident from his audition. 

needless to say, you were exhausted once the auditions were done, letting out a huge breath once everyone but your friends had left. 

“god that was fucking tiring,” said yizhuo. taesan nodded, “too many good options, but at least the bad ones were fun to watch.” you all hummed in agreement, and packed up your things in silence. 

“so, back to the apartment for decisions? i wanna get it done by tomorrow afternoon,” you said when everyone looked ready to go. “can we pick up snacks on the way?” asked leehan. you nodded in response and the 5 of you set off to you, yizhuo and karina’s shared apartment.

a/n: sorry for the delay, the main reason this chapter took so long was me procrastinating the written section lols. also! lmk if you guys want a teaser for my next smau (a wonbin one) set in the same universe 👀

tags: @billiondollarworth @nujeskz @secretiny @soobsthings @talk420 @renjuneoo @flaminghotyourmom @academiq @luffysgfforevaa1 @hwadejectedyoung @starwonb1n @onebnis @calumsfringe

© 2024 FAE-RENJUN. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or steal any of my posts.

[habken]

oh my gosh fellow animation student !! I love learning about other people's art school experience, if you'd be willing to share? I think the diversity of assignments and teaching styles and focuses is cool 🩷 love your art as well !!

Yeah I can share a bit ! I’ve really enjoyed the program so far, I think I’ve learned a lot and I’ve gotten the chance to use programs I wouldn’t have access to usually!

First semester I had 9 classes (I’m counting story lab + lecture as two separate ones) and it was honestly pretty difficult to keep up with the workload, especially because I was still finishing up zine work. I had so many assignments, there were many weeks I’d have something due everyday, sometimes multiple things in the same day, so time management was a big struggle and I ended up having to sacrifice the amount of drawing I did for fun and for socmed </3 I think that was the biggest bummer cause it meant I lost both what helped me relieve stress and something that made me happy :/

While the work was intense and time consuming, I really did enjoy what I was making for each class. My favourite classes were character design, storyboarding, and animation. I felt like they were the ones I did best in and I realized loved my animation teacher her classes were really fun and I laughed a lot lol. I also really enjoyed my life drawing class, I have a lot of respect for my teacher, he marked harshly but I learned so much under him and my life drawing skills have improved a lot since september. He also collects bones and brought them in and it was super cool. He told us all the stories of were he’d picked them up, like asking farmers or finding roadkill and cleaning them.

Overall in each class, I really appreciated the critique I’ve gotten and I feel like I’ve really improved! I actually dropped out of art school before and one of the main reasons was because I felt like I wasn’t really getting anything out of the program. My stuff was nowhere near perfect but I was one of the better students so teachers used my stuff as an example rather than see me as a student that also was there to learn. I hated that so I left, and I’m really happy I don’t feel that way in the program I’m in now!

What I will say though is one of the hardest lessons to learn is that you can’t go 100% on every single thing, it’s just straight up impossible unless you don’t take care of yourself and get no sleep. It sucks because you want to do your best and be amazing at everything, but an assignment that’s half assed is better than handing in nothing at all and also better than permanently hurting yourself because you push through the pain and don’t allow yourself any rest.

One of the things that sucked the most assignment wise was my bone portfolio for life drawing, I had so much planned out and I really wanted to do amazing, but I had to cut a lot out to get it done on time, and so the finished project was lacking a lot. I got a decent mark for it, but personally I know it could’ve been so much better, and I just have to live with the sacrifice I made so I could get all my work done on time lol

I don’t want to share too much more about the assignments I did, but I was really proud of my work in my character design class and also my last storyboard assignment, where we took part of a script and made new boards based on it. I got a lot of compliments from the teacher about my attention to detail with subtle and human actions. I’m happy cause that’s the kind of stuff I love portraying and love seeing in films haha.

One other thing is I was so close to failing layout, the last two assignments I left until the very end and almost didn’t get them in one time before teacher’s grades were due, and without them I would’ve failed the class. As it stands, I got over a 90 average so the two assignments made a big difference lmao.

Sorry this was so long lol

[sarcastic-lee]

Y'know I'm gonna do a little random fun facts about me just for the sheer hell of it. That but I'm also in a rambling mood so here we go!

RANDOM FACTS BOUT REI!!

1. I started taking art seriously in 4th grade. I remember a kid telling me that I'll never be an artist and from then on, I drew and continued to draw out spite. Don't tell me what I won't be able to become cause I'll prove you wrong.

2. I was extremely active as a kid. From archery to swimming to soccer to baseball to gymnastics to Tae Kwon Do and karate to skiing. I was pretty busy with after school activities. I still retain my throwing arm from baseball.

3. I'm not good with math but I am pretty decent in biology and physical science. Both classes had me captivated in highschool because a lot of it was hands on with projects instead of lectures.

4. I have a wide array of music I listen to ranging from old music from my parents generation to 90's boy bands to early 2000's to current stuff (umm minus the mainstream music that's like mumble rap and such). If I were to recommend any bands my biggest two would be Sleep Token and From Ashes to New.

5. I spend most nights watching anime or gaming. I'm currently rewatching and catching up with My Hero Academia. As for games, I'm currently achievement hunting in Skyrim.

6. I took a course at a tech school for two years in highschool about videogame design. I love designing environments and creating stories for said environments. Unfortunately there was no colleges that had a good videogame design course so I went to college for graphic design and then later for Animation and Motion Media.

7. I've grown up around a parent that works in remodeling work. I used to help him build stuff and know my way around power tools.

8. I'm a hands on learner (kinesthetic). I can't learn very well from reading or lectures. It's why I struggled in subjects like math and history.

9. My favorite book is actually a banned book by the title Maus by Art Spiegleman. I have the full hard copy edition and I read it often. His father's story is heart wrenching and I'm desperately hoping the world can learn from these kinds of stories.

10. My favorite holiday is Halloween. Or the proper origin and name is Samhain. I love learning about the history and origins of holidays because we all know the Americanized versions...

11. I'm relatively knowledgeable in Russian folklore. I used to research a lot of varying stories and find them all really cool. Honestly folklore in general is a lot of fun to study.

12. I got my first tattoo at 27. And I plan to get more. I just need the money first.

13. On an embarrassing note, I've never been in a relationship. I don't really actively seek out people. If anything I would prefer to stumble into one then seek it out.

14. I broke into the theater at my highschool when I was a junior during summer school. We TPed the place and would throw around a frisbee. We also explored the whole place by mini flashlight.

15. I hiked a mountain for a half semester long unit in 8th grade. Was a fun time...besides getting sick on the last night and injuring my ankle on the trek down.

16. My favorite (and comfort movie) is Howl's Moving Castle. I absolutely adore Studio Ghibli films and Miyazaki is the inspiration for why I got into animation.

[calciumdeficientt]

I know I already asked you for headcanons, but could you do some headcanons with my OC Mary and Gord? 👉👈

This is so perfect!!! I was about to make a post of Mary hcs anyway so I’m going to kind of co-opt this ask to kind of do some solo Mary hcs but dw Gord will be here!

MARY BROWN HCS (FEAT. GORD)

SOLO MARY HCS

Shes the most kindhearted prep, it really shows. She does her best to act cruel and snobbish but she just doesn’t have the heart to do it, she’s so genuinely nice that it kind of rubs off on everyone around her. It’s pretty infectious, even though most of the preps don’t want to be infected. This endless kindness does get her in everyone’s good graces. It sort of acts for a force field, especially on bullies. There’s nothing that a small gift cannot solve, its not TECHNICALLY bribery if you don’t actually want the service the other party is providing, right?

Her interest in drama leads her to join the school’s drama club. She has every right to use her power and influence as a prep to buy her way into lead roles but she thinks its unfair, so she auditions the same way everyone else does. In the drame club, she got to know Trent a little better, he’s usually the leading man, and that energy follows him offstage too. He’s a pretty cool goy once you get past all the borderline torture he puts other students through and a good friend of Mary’s too

Comes from a good, loving family who despite admitting they’re not fully on board with her dreams of being an actress they’re more than willing to pay her way into it. They just want to see their daughter happy, and if she feels more comfortable in front of a camera than she does behind a jeweller’s desk than that’s the way it’s going to be. They moved from Cambridge to Bullworth when Mary was a baby, but she retained the accent because all their house staff moved to America with them. Nannies, maids, chefs. Everyone Mary interacted with in her formative years had a southern English accent.

Cares for Bif after tough fights. They have a good sibling relationship going, so if he’s particularly down or injured, she likes to take him out somewhere for coffee or yknow… to the emergency room. Mary comes to every fight, she makes time specifically to come and watch the fights, she’s not got a great stomach when it comes to violence, she likes to let Bif know he’s supported whenever he fights. Even if he’s just sparring. It’s a real testament to her incomparable niceness. She comes, despite her hatred for fighting, to support her friend.

Started and funded their first Bullworth festival with the help of Miss Phillips, every student can make any film they like (with a few restrictions, no snuff films, no nudity -tasteful or otherwise- and no profanity unless its absolutely VITAL to the plot) they have six weeks to write, film and produce their films and then at the end of that time the films are submitted, screened and a winner is voted for by the student body. The winner receives a shitty plastic Oscar dupe, 20 bucks each and an instant pass on all art and photography classes for the semester. It’s a good morale booster, and almost everyone gets involved. To avoid any clique wars, there is one final rule that Mary introduces… each film cast/crew must contain a member from at least one other clique or the film is disqualified. It makes a difference around the school for like a month before everyone forgets and starts fighting again.

GORD X MARY HCS

Gord and Mary are very much a picture book couple, they’re so happy together. There’s never been a moment that they’ve ever fought, or even frowned at each other. They’re very happy, very healthy and so in love. It’s almost poetic, its the kind of thing any kid dreams about. They assume that they’ll marry their childhood sweetheart and live a good life, usually in a castle. Well for Mary and gord who’ve been playing happy families since they were tots, its their reality. They took a small break through middle school and the start of high school but there’s a very good chance that even during those years, their minds were still on each other.

Shopping dates are an absolute must. Gord prides himself on his fashion taste, so one thing he really likes to do is style outfits for her. They go out and he gets busy creating outfits for her based on what’s seasonal and trendy. Gord really has his finger on the pulse of fashion, a fact he’s really not modest about, so Mary always looks stunning and chic. Not one to miss out on any fashion fun, Gord buys matching outfits when he can, and complimentary outfits when he can’t.

Gord is too sentimental for his own good. He remembers every single milestone possible, and he gets Mary gifts for every one. Wether it’s the day they held hands for the first time, the day they first kissed or the day they both said i love you, a slew of fancy gifts is crammed into her dorm. It’s a little much, but it really proves to her that he cares about her.

Both of them are allergic to flowers, so Gord has to get creative. Her uses anything from his limited crochet skills to dried flowers, if its an important event Gord will usually get some bespoke flowers made. For their 1 year anniversary he commissioned a French artist to make a bouquet of roses out of blown glass and solid gold. They’re absolutely beautiful and as a bonus, he even had a vase made or them.

They have tea dates in Harrington house, an event that requires the rest of the preps to clear off. It’s more intimate than a fancy dinner or a night being paraded around at a gala. They light candles and sit around Harrington house’s smallest dining table to drink real tea, and spill metaphorical tea. If the preps weren’t so worried about hearing something about themselves they’d rather have not known, they probably would linger dunring these dates.

[webnovel-deluxe]

Isn't Being A Wicked Woman Much Better? Side Story Chapter 13

I also upload this chapter in my YouTube channel, read there to support my effort, to read click here👉Link

“Because of those bad rumors, when I went to the department alone, the only senior who looked after me and took care of me without prejudice was Dohee.”

“She was a real wingless angel. When I was thinking about taking a leave of absence because of a big problem in my family, even though Dohee was busy, took part in the work and helped out until dawn, so I didn't drop out of school.”

“She was a senior with a really good personality, but she looked so busy that she couldn’t even talk properly… .”

“Everyone liked Dohee, but I’m really, really sorry.”

“You know what? When the staff cleaning the hallway collapsed, senior Dohee gave first aid and called an ambulance, so I was able to receive treatment right before a major problem occurred.”

“She was really kind, so there were a lot of good kids around her. I couldn't even talk because Kim Han-jun sunbae kept her from coming.”

“Ah, that dog is the real senior bastard.”

I'm so grateful that someone told me what I wanted to say.

“Ah, but Kim Han-jun, that crazy little dog is funny.”

“Why?”

“Suddenly, while drinking, he called out Dohee's name and he was sobbing and vomiting, and he wasn't even angry. I was filming a new monodrama by myself, but I saw something I couldn't really see!”

“You can’t see that person’s face these days, so what is he doing?”

“I don't know. He said that he was drinking alcohol every day, and then Matteng went and couldn't doze off, and he just took a leave of absence before the semester started. Rumor has it that he is still drunk these days.”

It's not that Mattang didn't graduate because he went, but he didn't have any skills at all.

The professor would never let him pass the thesis, and even if he graduated, there was no answer, so he was on an indefinite leave of absence to save his face. It's called an honorable death.

“Oh, by the way, is there anyone in touch with Dohee’s senior family members?”

“I keep getting letters to the department office to see if her family has moved. It must have been written down as the second address on the paper.”

“What letter?”

“It’s a letter from a facility kid that Dohee-senpai donated. So it's kind of like calling not to send... ”

“Wow, only real waves and waves are coming out. ”

“That’s it.”

As I listened to them, I quickly walked towards the department's office where the letter from the child was.

thought body spoke to me as I was moving silently.

- There are too many people who like you here without knowing it.

-… I see. I didn't know.

I just scratched the tip of my nose. Although semi-transparent state did not scratch properly .

- That's why, Lucifer's curse that covered your soul was purged in an instant, and a strange thing happened when the God sensed your lost soul.

- What kind of anomaly?

-You are not originally born in Korea, but you were born.

-right.

- Two completely unrelated dimensions intersect, and cracks form at the intersection, allowing you to see the future of this place, albeit for a moment. The future of Asteria without you.

-ah! That +19 novel.

-yes. It's like reading a prophecy.

- If possible, I'll show you to the end.

The thought-form caused a great ripple as if sympathizing again.

-If the rift was bigger, we could have seen more of the future.

- The writer was not lazy. Anyway, I was lucky enough to have averted a planned catastrophe thanks to reading the novel.

I felt a strange feeling.

It's a phone call, and it seems that only bad luck comes in succession in life.

Life in the previous life seemed like only misfortunes were overlapped at first glance, but there were good relationships within it, and thanks to not losing goodwill, I was able to quickly escape the curse of the great devil.

'Also, the knowledge I gained here was very helpful.'

Thanks to different experiences and information about the future, I was able to face the devil more easily.

-Maybe, there won't be a single moment of meaningless time... .

Shoot-ah-

The moment I entered the department's office, a strong wind blew in through the open window, and the white letter on the desk fluttered like a butterfly. It was a reply from a child who I used to sent monthly donations and letters.

They were scattered one by one by the wind, and I slowly scanned the contents in the sunlight that shattered like jewels.

[thank you.]

I filled my eyes with the four letters engraved at the end of the letter.

It was probably the only word I wanted to hear the most in my previous life. And I felt that a true farewell to this world had come.

- Thank you too.

I muttered a bit bitterly. Now it was time to go back to where we were.

***

… I thought so.

-Hey, Mr. Thought?

It seems like it's time to go slowly, but at some point the guy doesn't answer.

-Mr thought-nim?

So I politely called.

-Answer me. I want to go home! You brought me all the way here, so I need you to take me home.

Where did he really go? Is it possible to become a ghost wandering the campus like this?

- This kind of joke is no fun. If you don't show up in 3 seconds, I know how to grind it to a fine powder as soon as I get out! Don't you think I can't break dragon bones? So, to be honest, it's a waste, but you know I'm very rich, right?

I even threatened outright that I would change the body, but the guy doesn't think about responding.

- Ha, what's really going on.

I scoured the campus for a while, trying to find the thought body, and then I felt exhausted, so I sat in the back of the faculty room where I was always sitting and fell on my desk.

- Where the hell did you go?

'I wonder what happened in the sanctuary that contained the rosary?'

But if it were, the thought body would have sensed it first and took action, but it was strange that it was so quiet.

-If you sleep like this, a miracle like that might happen the next day when you wake up in bed.

Deborah Bing's early days of 'sleep', which she tried many times while denying reality!

I didn't come to the place where I slept the best for nothing.

- through this time.

I lay on my stomach for a while and closed my eyes when suddenly something tapped my shoulder.

… wh, who?

I raised my head in amazement, and then I looked at the person in front of me and opened my eyes wide.

-Who the hell are you?

- By any chance, you don't know me?

A soft smile crossed the man's eyes.

I was lost for a moment, then I came to my senses and coughed in vain.

-… Because he's the one I know.

The reason why I didn't recognize it for a moment was because Isidor was wearing an unfamiliar outfit.

- Probably right?

He was wearing a slim fit shirt with a toned body, and even had a watch on his wrist.

He grabs the desk and leans his head in front of me. He had a tight vein on his forearm, with his shirt rolled up.

He smiled as if he was going to decorate the cover of a foreign men's magazine, and he gently trimmed my messy hair.

- Am I dreaming?

- Please. It's time to go home, Deborah Youngae.

-by the way… Sir Isidor, why are you dressed like that?

- These clothes. Don't like it?

-no way. Handsome. the best. Perfect. thank you!

Since it was a state of the soul, the truth began to come out without any fuss.

-I tried to imitate the costume of the portrait that the princess had kept in the past, and you really like this. But who is that bastard? I thought it looked pretty good.

-uh?

- Princess, I saw the house of your previous life.

Aww! aww! Wait a minute.

Come to think of it, the clothes Isidor is wearing. It is similar to the one worn by the GQ cover model I kept in the box in my previous life.

That's... .

- Have you been watching Isidore? Since when!?

-Is it from the time the Princess followed Locke Visconti with a very excited face?

- Me, when am I? And if you're by my side, give me a sign! too bad!

-When the thought body pulled the princess's soul out of the body, my soul came with it too, but even though I could hear it and see it, my voice couldn't reach it.

- Why?

- The thought body didn't seem to want to be interrupted by the conversation with the princess. Maybe now he's allowed us to meet.

He looked around slowly with his characteristic quest planted eyes.

- It's a strange dimension. The fact that he has no mana at all and he has a high-level civilization. This stuff is also interesting.

He looked at the magazine and said, waving his wrist watch that he realized.

- You seem to have already adapted to this place.

Maybe Isidor is the real possessive body. Now, he was a Harley Queen's male protagonist, who can be seen by anyone.

-If I could understand the language here, I would have known better about Princess, but that's a pity.

Isidore didn't seem to understand the words of his family and classmates due to the language barrier. But everything else seemed to have been grasped through conversations between me and the thought body.

- If you didn't see it with your own eyes, it would have been hard to believe.

He said in a voice full of determination.

- thanks.

- what?

- Not so long ago, Princess-sama thought our world was a novel. But in order to be considerate of me, I tried to hide that part and tell only the truth and the core as much as possible.

-.....

As always, he is very kind.

-you… Makes me feel like a really good, nice person. every time.

- You're a good person, aren't you? So it must have been love at first sight Twice.

It was a contradiction to fall in love at first sight, but it was true only to the two of us.

He smiled as he loosened his tie.

-I want to explore this world more, but I don't think the time will be long... .

- Do you know where the thought body is?

-yes. But before...

-yes?

- In the past, who was the man that the princess held until the portrait?

Obviously, he is smiling brightly like a flower, but I can feel the thorns inside.

Although there is a language barrier, there is no barrier to painting, so Isidor was mistaken for the GQ magazine as a portrait of a certain man.

I can't even tell a proper lie because I'm in a state of my soul and I can't make up my face. It is impossible to overwrite that magazine with Yoon Do-yeon, a blood relative of a previous life!

Support me with your like, comments & reblog. That will encourage me to upload next chapter faster

[munamania]

bitch post time!!!!!! many revelations ok last night's vibes were HEINOUS but it provided so much for me and lydia to talk about and now i am gonna share with you yippee storytime

k so we plan to go to this valentines day showcase thing that the college radio is putting on last night. mind you at my place of work where i pretended that i had a family emergency and had to go home cause i didnt feel like going into work yesterday morning lol idiot... i was so paranoid my boss was there in disguise or some shit it was stupid. sorry um. yeah so ok i was largely like this could be a chance for friend groups to come together and maybe ill be able to talk to sams roommate and also like i do want to see more live music and it's free! so. anyway ok wait let me tell u abt the first part of the day

so me and lydia drive over some wine bottles to sam for him to use as props in a film. and sam and the roommate are sitting on their porch and we chat a little bit acc sam said as i walked up 'you always look so suspicious' and i was like 'ok u guys were literally just staring at me' cause they WERE and roommate was actually really nicely like 'oh no you're okay' and generally was just kind of inserting into our convo which well i had fun with naturally. um anyway and then who comes running up but teko! our buddy teko. and sams like have yall met and im like Of course and teko gives me a hug and i cant lie it was actually so sweet. i am also extremely touch starved but it was a nice hug. anyway. then i had to help roommate pick shoes alongside teko's fit and then i was like um Ok Bye. when i got back in the car lydia was like so i saw a neon sweatshirt... and i was like yeah <3 that's my man <3 sorry ok vibes get worse as the night comes

me and lydia end up getting to sam's late to 'pregame' this show and ig it was supposed be like. it was encouraged to dress formally. and i was wearing a dress that was too small and my chappell red tights and docs. kind of a serve but me and lydia were serving much more valentines day than formal. anyway. roommate does swing around to be like hi! and THEN i see my girl chloe i looooove her shes so fuckin funny and weird and we made this weird little short together in class last semester and i was kinda intimidated by her so i was so happy shocked when she was like I was so excited to see u :D WEEE shes so cool guys and has the funniest fuckin laugh and well honestly the high points of the night were us and lydia fucking around and dancing and being weird and offputting wallflowers cause again this thing SUCKED. ok

we did also smoke beforehand and i accidentally took this huge hit and then thought id be fine w a little more but brother was i feeling funny. did not eat enough and didnt take water it was atrocious. so. we get there and let me tell you if I WAS WORKING i'd have been able to fix the fact that it was soooooooooo fucking loud in there like bad bad bad audio distortion etc i wanted to kick this dude off the mixer but like what ever... it hurt so bad. and the lights were mostly on until chloe and sam duped this guy into dimming some of them but even still it was giving middle school dance. without the fun cheesy music. some of my instagram gay people are there. um but sorry there was simply no way i was going near that dance floor like the bands lowkey highkey sucked (i mean it was just a bunch of white college dudes and they did not slay. shocker. sam kept being like 'they're so good' and we were like um haha... straight face emoji)

we acc disappeared for a while to another floor for the br and just chilled for like half an hour (and security came to find us lmfaooo but ended up just leaving) and i was feeling odd and out of body and too aware of how i looked and it was just not great i was like we're the only bitches serving cunt here... um. anywho. so like later theres a slow dance and roommate is dancing with this other girl i only know from instagram till this point and i suppose if i was really feeling myself i could have tried to make a move but i was not. once again. vile vibes in this place. like i dont mean to be a pussy i typically would be much more charming and fun if i wanted to flirt and kinda felt the vibe from them but i was not really enjoying myself LMAO

then some more of the friend group shows up at the end and sam's like 'drama is actively going down' and im like Wuhhhh the fuck and i feel like a few of them r looking at me and i was just like get me OUT of here but for some fuck ass reason was still like nooooo we should go over and have pizza w sam and them. forgive me for thinking they had like frozen pizza or smth and i could get some free food out of this no we had to sit there and wait for dominos or whatever

AND THE MOST ANNOOOOOOOOOOOYING AWFUL TERRIBLE GROSS MEN YOUVE EVER MET SAT THERE AND JOINED THE BRIEF SMOKE CIRCLE AND THEN WERE JUST THERE AND LIKE YOU COULD JUST FEEL THEM TAKING UP SPACE AND US 'GIRLS' WERE MADE TO FEEL SO SMALL ON THE FUCKING COUCH I WAS SOOOOOOOO TIRED. had to get a sweater cause i felt so uncomfortable. girl i really was only there in case i could have a saving grace moment with roommate im so serious. well and for chloe but otherwise me and lydia shoulda been outta there

literally chloe was so excited to show our little video to people and sam cut us off from getting there to show us the fucking fidget spinner game he has on his tv. girl get out! oh my fucking god. finally lydias like Cool anyway so - like sams misogyny jumped out in previously unprecedented ways. it was bad. these boys were truly making me want to kill myself im sorry like it was so bad i have curated my experience so as to be away from that for so long it was really jarring. and what you need to understand about sam is that he's almost died twice and kind of has a funny little gender vibe going on and so for a while now yeah we've gotten along through silly odd things we relate through but holy shit....... that was so offputting i cant even wrap my brain around it

also sam very much walked me into like yaoi-fying him and his best friend and then was like haha noooo why r u calling us gay ur so weird bitch just fuck him already im tired and also dont care.. hes so attention seeking and not used to um not being the center of attention. sorry! oopsies anyway so

so then im like ew like i kinda need to reassess um. the people im around. and again cant stress enough how gross and judged and just kinda old i felt surrounded by these ppl even tho theyre all like within a year of age? and like roommate still seems maybe cool but since we didnt actually talk and they were off w the other roommate/other ppl i cant help but associate them w the odd vibes but like. honestly idk i might just try to uh slide into their dms rlly casually. bc. well idk how the friend group is fracturing and it wouldnt surprise me if they were annoyed with sam esp living with him but obv i dont really know. but again let me stress this friend group has been friends since their freshman year like what r yall doing yeah u do need to break up....

so i figure since they're hot (and kinda tiny i cant tell if they're shorter than me or just right around my height) (but also they kind of scared me by giving Instagram face while posing for a pic last night i cant do any more people giving off dorian gray rn. but i was also under the influence so um that didnt help) i could just yeah be brave see how it goes and worst case scenario it's not a vibe yk. and best case scenario i get to hang w them and teko. teko so gives francis. anyway

OH also sam and the friends insisted on listening to this ai generated… thing like idk guys i think i was in hell fr

also had several men yell out of their cars at me and staring at me as we walked to the bus stop :/ so men really do ruin everything btw

um. so. that was the night! thx for reading if u did. i am excited to be around other fun silly cool queer people god bless fuck these people

[kennyxtamblyn]

[nonbinary, they/them] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [KENDALL “KENNY” TAMBLYN]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [EMMA D’ARCY]. You must be the [THIRTY-ONE] year old [TRAVEL VLOGGER/VIDEOGRAPHER]. Word is you’re [INDEPENDENT] but can also be a bit [IMPULSIVE] and your favorite song is [AIN’T WORRIED BY ONE REPUBLIC]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [CRYSTAL COVE CONDOMINIUMS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

Family:

Father: Thomas Tamblyn

Mother: Willa Tamblyn (deceased)

Older Brother:

Twin brother: Ford Tamblyn

Younger sister:

Basic info:

Name: Kendall Loraine Tamblyn

Nickname(s): Kenny, Ken

Age: 31

Faceclaim: Emma D’arcy

Sexuality: bisexual

Occupation: Travel vlogger/videographer

Neighborhood: Crystal Cove Condominiums

Wanted Connections:

Old flames

Ex wife

Exes

Travel buddies

Enemies

Neighbors

open to pretty much anything

Bio:

Trigger warnings: suicide

Kendall Loraine Tamblyn was born to Thomas and Willa Tamblyn, two extremely successful individuals with their project management company that made them thousands. With money like the Tamblyn’s had, Kendall’s future had endless opportunities. Sometimes they didn’t even have to flaunt their family’s dollars to get what they wanted, simply the Tamblyn name was enough. They were seen as trustworthy and honorable people, so there wasn’t a thing to worry about.

Kendall went to school and participated in sports like rugby while in high school, but those were about the only normal teenage things about them. For their sixteenth birthday they were given a Porsche by their parents, they had extravagant birthday parties each year, and Kendall’s absolute favorite thing the Tamblyns did with their money was travel. By the time Kendall was eighteen, they’d visited about ten different countries and loved every single one of them. It was during this time that they took a senior trip with some of their friends, and with Kendall and their friends knowing they were all about to go into different directions with college coming up, they decided to buy a video camera and film the entire trip for memory’s sake.

This was kind of where it had begun. Kendall filmed everything. From the sights they saw in the city to the food they ate at restaurants, and they decided they loved capturing moments like that. When Kendall returned home to Aurora Bay, they were still trying to figure out their plan for college, but instead of going to college, they dropped out before the fall semester had even begun and they decided to start working in videography. Kendall was talented and they were hired to film events like weddings and banquets, and so much more.They were making money on their own like that alone. And Kendall was trying to decide how they could combine their love for traveling and their love for videography and then it hit them. They could become a travel vlogger on YouTube.

With a passport in one hand and a camera in the other, Kendall was ready to take on the world. They began traveling to different countries and cities and filming the whole thing, making vlogs about what they were doing while on their excursions, what they ate, and even talked about some of the history of the places they visited. It wasn’t long before Kendall was making their own money from posting videos on YouTube alone. But their success didn’t stop there. With hotels seeing the popularity of Kendall’s channel, they would be invited to visit hotels on all expenses paid trips just to give the hotel a good name. They would get free things and meals and they were of course getting money coming in from their channel. It was something they never wanted to stop so they never did.

The success of Kendall’s channel was the very thing that kept them afloat when the Tamblyn’s name sank to rock bottom. Willa and Thomas went to prison and while the younger Tamblyn kids struggled to find ways to receive incomes, Kendall was all set. They helped their siblings but Kendall didn’t even have a place to call home since their parents lost the house. Kendall was always traveling so they would come home to crash on their parents couch before their next adventure, so there wasn’t a lot they could do to help their siblings too much.

Once things got a little better, Kendall kept doing what they were doing. At first, people didn’t want to give out sponsorships because they didn’t want to be associated with the Tamblyn name, so admittedly, Kendall distanced themselves from their family. Online at least. But when it made the news that Willa had taken her own life, Kendall came back home to Aurora Bay and started renting out a place in the Crystal Cove Condominiums to be close to their siblings.

@aurorabayaesthetic

[helenadurazzo]

The Lord of the Underworld and His Lady of Spring Part 5

Back at Styx headquarters, the tests and examinations are about to begin, but first, Riddle, Vil, Azul, Jamil, and Leona learn a bit more about Styx and its operations in this addition to the HPHM x Twisted Wonderland AU!

“Ugh,” Vil groaned once he and the other boys were placed in their subject uniforms and collars, “Excuse me Idia but why must we be sprayed down with a GLORIFIED GARDEN HOSE!? And you didn’t even offer moisture! What kind of place is this?”

Jamil sighed, “Now I know what it’s like to be a car going through a car wash.”

“Or a set of sheets in the washer and dryer.” Riddle added, crossing his arms.

“And then it had the audacity to spray into my ears.” Leona groaned, “I’m still squicked out from that.”

“Normally I’d prize efficiency.” Azul admitted, “But that crosses the line!”

“Really!?” Ortho exclaimed, “All the staff love it! They say it makes showers take no time at all.”

“I say it is quite refreshing.” Helena seconded Ortho.

“Of course Idia’s mindless girlfriend would say that.” Leona groaned.

“I see these chokers have the same effect as my signature spell.” Riddle observed, “I haven’t been able to perform any type of magic.”

“Sorry about that.” Ortho apologized, “It is for everyone’s safety and for the sake of accurate data collection.”

“Wait.” Idia’s eyes widened, “Riddle’s been trying to use magic, we can’t take our eyes off of any of them…” he cleared his throat, “Ahem, anyways not that you have been decontaminated, here is a short welcome video for Styx, Ortho play the tape!”

“Already on it!” Ortho cheered

~~~

Leona turned to Idia once the film finished, “So what horrific experiments do you have in mind?”

Idia chuckled menacingly, “First I’m going to strap you so you can’t move, then examine you with a bunch of probes, to score some sweet data about stress and the build up of blot.”

“Wha…” Riddle looked horrified.

“Idia!” Helena scolded him, “Don’t scare them like that!”

“Surely these normies didn’t think I was serious.” Idia shot back, “Can’t they get a joke?”

“In all fairness it wasn’t remotely funny.” Azul pointed out.

“They are right.” Ortho agreed, “Idia they are already upset! We shouldn’t make it worse!”

“At least Ortho and Helena exhibit some compassion.” Vil sighed.

“Besides.” Ortho enlightened Idia, “Raising the levels of stress won’t give us accurate results.”

“Never mind, I take that back.” Vil quickly remarked, “Ortho is just like his brother.”

“The point is.” Ortho explained, “You are all highly valuable since you didn’t get consumed by the phantom when you all overblotted.”

“What are phantoms?” Vil asked.

“When you overblot, the excess blot spills out and takes a giant form, aka the faceless monsters that appeared behind you.” Idia revealed and waited in silence before continuing. “Those are phantoms. You were not yourselves then so it’s hard to know how much any of you registered. But when you overbloted you could extend your reserves because of those phantoms. What normally is a debuff becomes a buff! Which is why eventually the phantoms consume their victims if people don’t step in.”

“They were quite large, all of them.” Helena added, “I recall them quite clearly when me and my sister were helping bringing you back down to earth.”

“Most of the time we can capture the phantoms but some can blend in with direbeasts.” Idia continued.

“I knew the basics of that but the extended version is hard to believe.” Azul admitted.

“Thing is, only capable mages can overblot.” Idia pointed out. “About as rare as rolling 4 SSRs on a single ten pull! Yet despite that there were five overblots in a single semester!

“So we were brought for research…” Jamil took note of the obvious. “Were you the one who issued the order Idia?”

“Uhh…” Idia stammered,

“That is classified information!” Ortho shouted.

“Let’s just say Styx has scouts all over the world...” Helena simplified for the boys.

"Wait…" Vil's eyes widened, "Does that mean you are trying to use blot!?”

“It’s not that surprising.” Idia sighed. “Sustainability is a hot topic right now and blot could be the answer, when it comes to magic that is. We consider Blot a valuable reason rather than a waste product. And we gotta recycle what we can right?”

Jamil’s eyes narrowed, “An energy resource huh.”

“That is how you are justifying kidnapping.” Leona growled. “Real noble operation you guys got here.”

“I know you are all mad.” Ortho observed, “But none of you want to overblot again right? Or to be manipulated by a phantom? Accepting our help can allow to prevent that.”

“Indeed.” Helena seconded, “Styx HQ has the best labs in the world. The readings are accurate and detailed.”

Vil eyed them closely, “What an enticing sales pitch, Azul should take notes. But what’s the catch? If we don’t participate you won’t let us leave?”

“Look, listening will get you out of here easy.” Idia doges the question, “Let’s just start with the paperwork, and make it snappy we don’t have all day.”

~~~

Idia sighed, “That took so long, can’t believe they nick picked every detail. But at least that’s done. Everything else is set up as well. Now to split the subjects into two teams. We can start with Subjects A, C, and E, and then transition into testing Subjects B and D.” He turned to Riddle, Azul, and Vil, “Ortho will take you to the sim room.” Then he turned to Jamil and Leona, “Wait here until your tests begin. Helena and I are going to step out but use the intercom if you need anything.”

“Yo acting director.” Leona spoke casually, “can we at least get a snack menu?”

“Ugh.” Idia groaned, “Classic Leona, but that is not an option.” He finished before walking out of the room with Helena by his side, with Leona only continuing to mutter what were surely insults.

“Acting Director.” One of the Charon guards approached, “What shall Subject F’s examination be? The medical team reports he is still asleep.”

“Subject F…” Idia recalled, “Ah yes, Grim. I’m afraid the kitty has too many variables. And his command of magic is rather mediocre, running him through sims might be a waste of time.”

“Let him sleep for now.” Helena requested, “And let me and the Acting Director know the second he awakens.”

“Roger.” The guard confirmed, before leaving to fulfill his orders.

“Let’s go Helena.” Idia turned to her, “We need to get to HQ, Ortho likely has the guys all ready in the Simulation Room, and we shouldn’t keep him waiting…”

[dexlexia]

atomic gold - a vashwood fan fic

chapter 3/3: atomic + gold (the smut chapter) pairing: vashwood (vash x nicholas) rating: 18+ summary: Nicholas swore this was the last fight, but it was never the case. He always ended up in the projector room in the east wing of the university’s main building being patched up by Vash. Vash was a good guy, a little goofy at times. And had a habit of causing more trouble then helping, but he and Nicholas were rather close since they both became the only two members of the dying film club. tags: college au, internalized homophobia, smut, nicholas is bad at feelings, film club au, minor violence, mentions of blood, trans!vash, needle mentions, jealousy, background relationships, catholicism, slow burn, eventual smut, reference to abuse, controlling knives a/n: read it on ao3 !

It was winter semester now. Spring was around the corner which meant that the desert plants were alive and well. Which meant that Vash was a sneezing, coughing, sniffling mess.  Despite a love for plants,  Vash had bad allergies. The pollen from the newly sprouted desert flowers had Vash carrying tissues and allergy medicine in his bag. 

  "I don't know, Nicholas. I thought living in the desert would solve this problem. Nothing grows here!" 

Nicholas rubbed his boyfriend's back, "I think plants grow everywhere." He handed a few more tissues to the blonde as he started to sneeze. 

It was the two of them alone in the projector room, Vash's legs were over Nicholas' lap as the blonde attempted to finish his mid-semester paper. It was close to the end of the school year. Nicholas was going back to the seminary where he lived outside of school, while Vash and Knives were taking extra classes. 

  "I know, but it's not fair!" Vash whined. 

Nicholas kissed him again, "Don't worry, just keep doing your research. Before you know it all the flowers will be dead again and no more allergies." 

  "I guess you're right." Vash rested his head on Nicholas' shoulder. The two briefly kissed before Vash went back to his work. Looking at his laptop from an angle, "You know what we should do." 

  "What's that?"

Vash said bluntly, "I think we should have sex. It's been a few months now and you haven't jumped my bones!"

Maybe it's because your brother would kill me, Nicholas thought. But instead he said, "I didn't want to push you is all. I know you've been through a lot and I didn't want you to think I was using you for your body." 

  "Aw, this old thing." Vash chuckled as he gestured to himself, "Usually I charge, but for my honey it's free of charge." He said in a sing-song voice.  In reality, Vash had never had sex before, Nicholas knew this too. The anxiety about his body, both in a gender kind of way and also the damage done to it, kept him from being intimate.  He pulled his head away to look at Nicholas, "So do you want to have sex?"

Nicholas was caught off guard by the question. He was supposed to not have sex till marriage but he broke that vow a long time ago. He cupped Vash's face, "I don't know, do you want to have sex?"

Vash nodded, "I trust you, Nicholas." His lips curled up at the edges, "I know you'll be gentle." Then peppered kisses along the other man's jawline. 

Nicholas sighed contently, "We're not going at it in the club room."

  "Of course not! I'm not a harlot!" 

Nicholas burst out laughing, "No, no. Of course not, you're a dashing young, virtuous man." 

Vash stuck his tongue out, "You sound like a perverted old man." 

  "You're literally three months older than me!" Nicholas argued.  The pair laughed together before Vash snuggled up with Nicholas even more. The man threw an arm around his lover and kept him close. He took in the scent of the strong shampoo the man used. He was an assault on his nose, but he ignored it in favor of basking in the blonde's warmth. 

The plan now was to figure out when to have sex, now that the plan was set in motion. It was getting harder to find a time where Knives would be gone all night. The idea wound Vash up. When the pair were alone, he'd rub up against Nicholas. Kissing his neck and ear, even when the pair were tucked away in the designated smoking area. 

  "You're a pain." Nicholas said teasingly one rainy afternoon when, while passing by, Vash grabbed the other man's ass then giggled to himself like a schoolgirl. Nicholas playfully rolled his eyes and pinched Vash's ass in return before he sat down on the couch in the club room.  It took some time to get the right day to have their first time together. 

But waiting only makes it more worth it,  the closer it came to that Saturday afternoon where Knives was out all day with the rest of the student union. Nicholas slinked across campus with condoms in his pockets. As soon as he got through the front door, Vash was all over him. his hands in his short dark hair, his tongue practically down the other man's throat. 

  "Someone's excited." Nicholas purred. 

  "Yeah, because after so long I finally got to have you. You make me crazy, Wolfwood!" Vash grinned before pulling the man in for another kiss. It was hot and passionate as Nicholas eventually pinned the blonde up against the beige wall near the coat rack. He held the man by the shoulder and passionately made out with him. His tongue glazed along Vash's top lip. 

The feeling of being so close the other man made Vash feel warm all over, his pussy became wet with the sensation.  Their foreheads eventually pressed together as Nicholas started to unbutton the front of Vash's shirt.

While he did that, Vash turned his head away and sneezed into his elbow. 

  "Are you sure you want to do this?"  Nicholas asked, "If your allergies are acting up, we can try another time." 

Vash cupped Nicholas' face, "No, even if I sneeze so hard my eyes pop out, I want this." He looked determined.  The two began to kiss again,  bodies moved up against one another as Nicholas kept Vash up against the wall.  Vash's quick hands worked at Nicholas' belt, he tugged on the buckle and moaned into the other's mouth.

  "You better not get addicted to this." Nicholas teased, "Can't be fucking you every moment of every day."  He gripped onto the other's hips and started to passionately kiss him again. Vash whimpered in his mouth like something out of a porno.  Nicholas pulled away and ran his fingers through his lover's hair,  softly pulling at a handful of it, "You look divine.  I need your full consent before we keep going." 

  "I want it, Nicholas." 

  "Louder."

  "Nicholas, please." Vash was sounding desperate now.

  "Louder, Vash." 

  "Nichol-"

  "What did I say, handsome? I want the whole damn block to know who I am and what I'm about to do to you."

Vash moaned, this was amazing.  He held onto his lover's shoulders, "Please, Nicholas. Please fuck me. I want you to fuck me. I never wanted anyone else in my entire life. Please, please, please!" His cheeks were flushed.  He was met with another kiss. 

  "That's what I like to hear." Nicholas chuckled, "I love you Vash, for all my days I'm going to love you. Nothing will change that. " His hand snaked through the opening of his shirt, he felt a jagged scar tissue. His finger eventually grazed the left side of the top surgery scarring. It was more flat than the other scars, but Nicholas knew it was there.

Vash really was a special man, a self made man. He was one of a kind and Nicholas wanted to cherish him for the rest of his life.  Soon Vash pulled away from Nicholas' grasp and moved past his, he had a giddy in this step as he turned to face Nicholas midway up the stairs, "Come on now." Then winked before scampering back upstairs. 

Nicholas licked his lips and followed close behind. The erection in his pants throbbed as he got a faceful of Vash's ass as he bound up the stairs on those long legs. The dark haired man palmed at his erection and soon met the blonde inside of the bedroom. Once again they were kissing as Vash pulled at the bottom hem of Nicholas' black t-shirt. 

  "I want you."

  "I want you too."

Vash rubbed his thighs together, feeling wet between them.  The two men got undressed slowly, Vash felt Nicholas' eyes on him. He really did trust this man with his whole heart. Soon he felt Nicholas' hand on his lower back and he looked over to see Nicholas looking back at him.  He turned to kiss him on the lips. 

 "You're amazing."

  "Not as amazing as you." Vash replied.  He turned around fully and planted a proper kiss on the other man's lips. He made a small moaning noise when Nicholas slipped two fingers into his pussy. The sound made Nicholas' cock twitch. The blonde wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, their chest's touching. 

Nicholas held onto the blonde with one hand while he played with clit with the other. He was encouraged by the blonde's moans, soon their kisses became sloppy and the dark haired man was guided to the bed.  Vash laid down on it and took Nicholas with him.  The air in the room felt warmer the more they felt up each other's bodies. 

  "Fuck." Vash panted.

  "You feel so good, blondie. So fucking good." Nicholas moaned as he pulled away from another searing kiss. They could make out all evening and Nicholas would be content, but it was time for the main event.  He continued to play with Vash's pussy, their kisses became more greedy as the blonde kept his long arms around the other's broad shoulders. They complement one another perfectly, the noises the blonde made accompanied Nicholas'.  Vash's lips eventually went down the other's neck.. He rubbed his thighs together as he started to leave marks on the other's skin. Nicholas responded by adding a third finger, his thumb still teased the other man's clit. 

  "Oh, Nicholas.' Vash moaned against the other's skin. It felt remarkable being so close to the other man. It was like something that felt right. This is what he wanted his future sexual experiences to be like. He wanted them with Nicholas. He had little need to want anyone else.  Another kiss on Nicholas' lips and Vash said, "We need the condoms." 

  "RIght ahead of ya." Nicholas pulled his fingers out and went to the edge of the bed to try and retrieve his pants. There he found the shiny foil and got one out before he crawled back up the bed to the blonde. He showed him the condom and slowly started to open it.  They arranged themselves so Vash was on top and Nicholas' hands were on the blonde's waist. Nicholas gave him a reassured smile, "Don't worry, we'll have fun." 

Vash kissed him once more, his kisses were a delight. His core ached for the other man, he wouldn't admit it to him but Nicholas D. Wolfwood was the subject of many sexual fantasies. And even a few wet dreams.  Slowly he inched himself down Nicholas' cock.  He hissed slightly but Nicholas was there to cheer him on. Once he reached the base, Nicholas leaned up and kissed at Vash's chest, especially around the top surgery scars. The praise made Vash feel more comfortable. 

  "Are you okay?" Nicholas asked as Vash seated himself fully on his cock.  He rubbed the man's thigh as he slowly started to move, the connection between them grew as they began to fuck. Vash soon leaned forward so his face was on Nicholas'  shoulder, his hips still working the man's cock. 

Vash held onto the bed under him as their bodies rocked together.  The bed moved slightly from their movements, the headboard pushed further away from the wall as they began to pick up the pace. The sound of sex filled the room as the pair went back to kissing one another. Vash's tongue licked across Nicholas' mouth and soon he was very deeply kissing the other man. The grip on his hips tightened, Vash secretly hoped they left bruises. But Nicholas wouldn't make a huge mess of his body on their first time. 

After all, they had a whole lifetime to explore their hidden desires. 

Vash moaned into the other's mouth and Nicholas' eyes fluttered shut. In the privacy of the blonde's bedroom, the pair fucked. 

Or would it be called making love because Nicholas felt the chun of not only lust and desire, but also love. He could scream from the heavens that he loved Vash Stampede. With his goofy blonde hair, single piercing, even that mole under his eye. Nicholas would kiss that mole for the rest of his life.  Vash was a great boyfriend, even when he rambled about his DVD collection from time to time. But the other man would listen to it every day, and he believed he had a lot of time to do so.  He felt Vash's hands tighten on the covers beside his body and he decided to ram his hips even harder, his cock hitting every sweet spot in Vash. Which made the other man's back arch and his voice became tighter. 

  "That's a good, blondie." Nicholas chuckled, "Excellent. Fuck, you feel amazing." Maybe this was what haven felt like. To Nicholas this was the perfect afterlife.  He laughed in his head about rejecting his faith and worshiping Vash's sweet pussy. His hands soon found hold on Vash's head, he yanked on blonde strands as he man on top of him rode his cock. 

Vash pulled away and panted wildly,  his face was bright pink with the color going all the way down his neck and chest. He looked divine on top of Nicholas. LIke he always belonged there. His heart beated rapidly as he tried to steady his breathing.  He wasn't a professional at sex, the only kind he ever had was with himself. His thighs were trembling and his pace was uneven. He was just trying to do what felt right. 

Their bodies moved in almost sync, they were getting pleasure from every thrust as the bed creaked under them. They were glad no one could really hear them unless they were inside the townhouse. Vash's noises were becoming higher pitched, the sounds made Nicholas' cock throb inside of the other man. These were noises that he was pretty sure no one else had ever heard. These were for Nicholas' ears alone. 

  "How are you feeling?" Nicholas asked. 

  "I feel really good. You're amazing." Vash replied, his back arched more as a particularly hard current of pleasure raced through every nerve in his body.  His chin moved to the ceiling and he let out a loud moan before Nicholas reached out and pulled him back down so their lips crashed together and their kisses became a fiery inferno.

They soon parted and Vash used Nicholas' abdomen for support as he continued to ride on the other man's cock. The noises of their intimacy filled the room, with Vash's hips working overtime to sate his man. His mouth hung open as he went back and forth on the other's cock. This is what he wanted, more than anything he wanted Nicholas' cock. The man made him feel special and the intimacy was exciting and much needed. There was a spark between them and Vash felt it the most at the moment. 

  "You feel like a dream." Nicholas panted. There was something about his closeness that made Nicholas hot all over. Not just by the feeling of Vash working his cock, but this tenderness between them. He had never felt it with another person before.  It was like everything was meant to lead up to this moment and every moment ever. 

  "You're not too bad yourself, Nicholas. I was worried it wasn't going to fit for a moment. But I guess I'm just made for you." And he let out a yelp as Nicholas' smashed their lips together once more. Even a cheesy joke like that made Nicholas only fall for him more. 

Nicholas groped as Vash's ass and move his hips up and down, his cock hitting the deepest parts of his lover as they continued to fuck on the loud bed. The headboard continued to ram against the wall behind it.  The man felt the deep feeling of orgasm in his gut as he continued to ram into the other. Vash was feeling the same thing too which encouraged him to keep going even as his thigh tensed up from the impending orgasmic pleasure.  Their lips were pressed together as Vash lost all rhythm of his movements as moved as quickly as his body could  go, even with a sharp pain in his hip. But it was worth it. 

  "Fuck, Nicholas. You feel so good, ah! I want to have sex with you over and over again." Vash was practically bouncing on the other's cock. His motions were out of control as he rose and dropped himself on his cock. 

The need for orgasms became stronger as they continued to move. Vash wanted to hold out but it was hard when the man below him was so alluring. He felt on cloud nine even with the aches in his legs from kneeling in this position to ride Nicholas. They were both nearing their orgasms, they could taste it on the tips of their tongues. Especially Vash who currently had his tongue hanging out of his mouth as pleasurable noises left his mouth. 

  "Shit, Vash." 

  "Please, Nicholas." 

  "I love you." Nicholas panted, with a few more heavy thrusts he finished inside the condom.  He laid limp on the bed now as his chest rapidly rose and fell.  Vash finished close behind with a few more rolls of his hips and soon. was limp on Nicholas' chest. The two men laid naked in bed together as they tried to regain their composure.   "Fuck." Nicholas exhaled, "I need to stop smoking." With the amount of heaving he was doing after one round of sex. 

Vash got off of Nicholas and cuddled up beside him on the small bed. His soaked pussy rubbed against the side of Nicholas' thigh.  He clenched when Nicholas moved in for a kiss.  The two of them laid there in the bed as the streetlamp shined in through the window. Vash felt in total peace, this was the most clear headed he thought when normally he was frantic.  The other man placed kisses softly on his face as they relaxed. 

  "How was that?" Nicholas asked.

  "It was great, I was a little nervous but I had a great time!" Vash said in a chipper tone. He leaned up for most kisses and his entire body felt relaxed from the rush of his orgasm. His legs tangled up with the other man's as he let himself be held by Nicholas.  Vash was excited and nervous, he wanted his first time to be special and do it with someone that he really loved. And Nicholas fit the bill entirely. 

Nicholas kept an arm around Vash as the blonde played with his chest hair. They remained snuggled up until Vash let out a loud moan with his face buried in Nicholas' arm. He could smell the sweat on the other man. But he was too tired to get aroused again. Right now he wanted a large pint of ice cream, a crocheted blanket and to be smothered by Nicholas' hugs. Being in a relationship with another man wasn't about sex,but experiencing every emotion that they could feel. 

  "I'm one lucky guy." Nicholas remarked, "Yeah... I lucked out."

  "Not as much as I lucked out. Now there's a tub of ice cream with our name on it and a whole collection of movies.  Would you care to join me to watch some of them? We have all night." 

  "Sure, Vash. I'd love to."

[jmflowers]

Cataloguing this life again cause I kind of can’t believe it’s mine. Sometimes I feel as though I haven’t done enough, or I’m not good enough, or like people are lying when they say I’m worth anything. But then I have days like today and it’s an oh. I’m capable.

So, todays project was called a “White’s Day”. My Cinematography profs make it happen at the very end of the final semester for students in my program at the college. Basically, they get a bunch of cinema quality gear for us to work with and give us a day to execute a short film shoot, adhering to a schedule of their making. It’s designed to be exhilarating and stressful and just a lot of fun. Tons of learning.

We got our script a week ago and broke down four scenes across a bunch of different teams - there’s about 40 of us in our final semester. I missed the production meeting, but a classmate reached out and asked if I was interested in joining him on the direction team. So, I was given a scene and had to break down how I wanted it to be executed.

Planning for it involved working through my pages - my scene had “3 7/8” (which means just under 4) pages - and deciding what sort of moments I wanted to emphasize, where tension could be added, and how I wanted the scene to feel. From there, I sat down with my co-director and we talked through the logistics of the blocking; where characters needed to be and why and how they would move through the scene. I wrote all these notes into a shot list and took them into a meeting with my DP.

DP, DOP, or Cinematographer are all just names for the person in charge of making the visuals happen for the director. I hand picked my DP because he’s a classmate I’d really been wanting to work with and hadn’t yet (and he has such an incredible eye with a camera). That was one of the best choices I made. He helped me transform my logistic vision into a storyboard and then into some of the most beautiful shots I’ve ever been a part of.

We brought that plan onto set this morning. I’d begged the production team to shuffle our schedule and put my scene first, as it was the longest, so we started the day in our location. It took a long time to get set, since we’re a team of students trying to corral each other. As director, I basically had to stand back and watch as they figured out the dolly and set up lights and all that jazz - director isn’t allowed to touch a thing. I was, however, allowed to watch the clock and see my allotted time ticking away.

In the industry, overtime happens a lot. You learn quickly that you must adapt as fast as possible. So, as time ticked away, I started mentally going through our planned shot list and began cutting what we wouldn’t need for coverage. This is where I was so glad to have a DP who was comfortable working with me; our rapport is good and so we pivoted quickly as a team (which can’t be said for other teams, who argued when in similar positions). We stripped our plan down to what was necessary and would allow us to still do the couple of shots we just knew would be fun to execute.

I also was doing all the normal director stuff we think of when we hear that word: communicating with actors about what I wanted, calling action and cut, choosing which shots I wanted and how to frame them. Lots of staring at a monitor and then giving instructions.

And we managed to wrap our scene on time. Despite not rolling until 27 minutes after our plotted start time. Despite a hold for some sound interference. Despite some elaborate dolly moves. I am so impressed with myself and my team because we pulled it off!

I am so grateful that I had the people I did working with me. I am so glad that my co-director is a kick ass focus puller and that he stepped up into that role at the last minute - I don’t know anyone else who could’ve done his job at the F-stop we were at. These guys made me look soooooooo good and our scene looks amazing and we all had so much fun doing it.

The final product of this is something I am going to be so proud to have my name on. I feel like I proved myself today, to my peers and my profs and myself. I am capable. I can do this.

And I can have the time of my life doing it!

[jungwnies]

hello mae! I’m sorry I was a lil mia for a second 🥴

these past few weeks have been nice, a few little bumps every now and then but overall good although i will admit the past few days I’ve been feeling a little sick and ngl it got me and my parents worried so I’m gonna get some blood tests taken during the weekend just to check that everything’s alright and verify that i just probably need some vitamins 🤞🏻🤞🏻

i also went on a walk with my sister the other day and omg i sooo needed that, it even rained a little bit and it was nice, she showed me this street where there’s a whole ass tree in the middle of it like right in the middle (say what now), she found it a couple of months ago on one of her morning walks and has told me about it but i only saw it a couple of days ago and we took some pictures posing in front of it cause this thing was also mASSIVE, not the biggest tree I’ve seen but one of definitely :0

i started korean classes again after two months ish and it’s actually very nice, it helps me keep practicing and studying even if im feeling lazy cause like that was the thing, i could totally study on my own but i just couldn’t (like some people nEED to get a gym membership otherwise they don’t workout, well i need my teacher assigning homework otherwise i won’t do it) ㅠㅠ

i also started journaling a little bit again and it helps a lot so im happy about that ^^

and lastly I’ve been listening to a lot of lana del rey (specifically her nfr album I LOVE ITT 😩😩) and donna missal (her new album “revel” 🤎🤌🏻)

now questions for youuu~

how have you been? how’s life treating you? (honest answers only but feel free to go as deep as you want hehe)

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? (if no go now! 😤)

what’s your latest obsession? (any kind of) and lastly, which side of the bed do you sleep on? (very random but im writing this before going to sleep and now im curious, i used to sleep on th right side but now i just stick to the middle and end up on the left lol)

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals/snacks, watch some shows/films, cry if u want to and get some sunlight on you if you can 🫶🏻🫶🏻

i love you maeby baby, have a nice day (and week) im rooting for you!! hehe💓💓

-🧸 anon

i also saw your message about your blood tests coming out okay, which i am so happy about! i wish you nothing but happiness and health omgomgomg.

oh my god, i saw ur message about the swift tickets and im sooo happy for you. i haven't been super active on tumblr, not sure why, just need a break from writing i am BURNT OUT!!! walks are always so refreshing, but in my state its sooo humid i hate walking i feel like bugs stick to my body every time i step outside, but i did go to the beach yesterday (who would've thought...) i am also a gym person who only goes if i have a membership, which is why i haven't gone because i haven't renewed... i AM SO LAZY LMFAO i also loveeee lana del rey, her music is sooo chef's kiss... literally

now to answer your questions :)

how have you been? how’s life treating you? life has notttt been bad recently, a few things here and there piss me off, but that's life??? not ready to start the semester again in september, i am literally dreading it LMFAO!?!?!? but it's okay, i'll stick it through and be successful (hopefully????) i'm going to another state in a few days for vacation so i'm super excited for that, need to get away from home!!!

what’s your favorite meal these days? have you drank water today? my favorite meal definitely has been rice and some sort of meat recently... or pasta!!! i really love carbs tbh, it's awful!?!?!? and yes i've drank some water, but i definitely need more. i appreciate the reminder <3

what’s your latest obsession? jungkook is my latest obsession... jk but also not jk?!?! his song with latto is so good, i was so worried it was going to sound off but i lowkey enjoyed it a lot? but to actually answer ur question i've been obsessed with valorant... i know yikes?!?!? but it's so fun... the last time i played was in like 2021 and i finally got back on and realized how much fun i have playing this game LOL

which side of the bed do you sleep on? i sleep on the left side... it's also the side closest to my door. i don't know why i can't sleep on the right side to be honest... usually i sleep farthest from the door, but i feel most comfortable on the side closest to my door.. but it is also the side closet to the wall LMFAO

remember to take care of yourself, stretch, drink your liquids, eat your favorite meals as well, and catch up on your fave shows and rewatch ur fave movies!! <3333

[hareefaree]

Journal - 2022 Fall Reflections - Game Design

Over the past semester, I’ve made a number of works - and even though I’m not happy with how I took care of myself this semester I can safely say that this semester of my college experience has been the most productive and creative yet. I have made works that I am incredibly proud of in close succession and have laid the foundation for multiple projects that I will be expanding on in the future! I kinda wanted to review my favorite/most exciting projects and detail why I loved them so much and where I want to take them next.

A project-by-project look under the read me, my animation work will be in a different post! :)

Personally I feel like most of my artistic work in the past few years have been stemming from a sense of grief and longing, which I feel like I’m finally starting to process both in therapy and in work (wow, working from your worst emotions unhealed actually hurts your creative process! Who knew.)  Working from these emotions raw was a good way to get them out, but I can’t say that I wanted to revisit and complete the projects I made prior to this year because they were just that - catharsis, for me. So now I’m trying to build distance again. And while the work I’m creating is still deeply personal (anything you spend hours on is), I feel safe presenting it to others now. 

I’ve also just been kinda… reconnecting with my heritage. I’m starting the process of properly learning Malayalam to help me solidify my ideas for my thesis film, and a few of the projects have just been me going through old family photos and trying to recreate the vibe of the memories I’m trying to capture (stiff and showy brown parties, photos and movies from 70s bombay, family dynamics that are exhausting and complicated but still important). I came out to myself as a lesbian this year and had the opportunity to properly explore my attraction and lesbian culture as myself, which was a long time coming. All the while I feel as through the world has suddenly become more and more reactionary, and I can’t help but emphasize the political dimension of myself and my art. 

All that to say is, I think I’m figuring out why I’m making art. So with the boring background out of the way, let’s get into what I’ve actually been working on!

GAME DESIGN

I had the amazing fortune to take a narrative design course this semester under the guidance of the creator of Twine Chris Klimas (if you’re interested in game design and storytelling just download it! It’s free, open source, and pretty versatile for text-based projects). I’d been struggling with game design prior, I wasn’t connecting with how I was being taught and I severely lacked (and continue to lack) the technical skills to make the games I want to make. But this class reminded me why I loved games so much and did a lot to reestablish my confidence.

Brown Party

Brown Party is a simple twine game and the first game design project of the semester. This was still more catharsis than art to me, if I’m being honest. I think going in there were a lot of ideas floating around - my relationship with my lesbian/desi identity, my issues with brain drain/Indian immigrant community culture, classism, and the overdone anti-artist prejudice trope. This shows in the writing - the narrative structure is a bit of a mess and I was so ambitious in terms of scope. But I made a game! 

I think, over the course of editing and revising this project that I actually stumbled upon some gems, stuff that I want to flesh out. I think it's a game that deserves to be bigger, that deserves more critical thought and cohesion put into it.

I want to genre bend this thing a ton- I kind of realized I was remembering this uncanny sense of space when I went to brown parties when I was younger. I may play with magical realism and whatever the fuck was going on in the RPG-maker horror game genre in the mid 2000s.

I also just want to hone in on the main characters, make them feel more like people and less like I’m ragging on the girls in my community. I have a lot of compassion for desi-american girls! I wish we as a community thought more about the world beyond our families but like. I grew up as that in that environment. It was grueling.

So yeah! I’m gonna be sharpening my unity skills and trying to see what sort of system would best serve this story…but its gonna be tabled for a while.

Ephemera/Your Mother Is Dead

Ahhhhh this game! I made this when I realized I desperately needed to be in therapy and it did me all the better. I had a pretty traumatic incident with my family and channelled all the fear and anxiety I was feeling at the time into this project.

This game, and I struggled a LOT with the technical aspects, ended up very different from my initial conception. The main narrative thread I was playing with was ‘packing up your mothers things after she died,’ and that vision stayed strong.

Game play wise, I was trying to build an inventory system in which you would stack things on top of other things and possibly break the things your mother had (the second person here refers to the player character! I feel like a lot of the aspects of this game were based in my heritage, upbringing specifically), revealing your own complex relationship with her. That didn’t work. I actually almost didn’t submit this because the system didn’t work. But the box packing wasn’t the important part, it was the relationship with your mother.

I think by channelling and solidifying my ideas in the writing, I was able to create a proper roadmap for where I want to take this. I will make the box stacking situation because I think it will help create closure, but I also wanted to incorporate dialogue with people, to have the gameplay be more about learning, knowing, and trying to understand how you feel about your parent.

I want to finish this game. I wanna rework the graphics so that it feels more homey and I want to create something I can properly cry my way through. 

And I will. :)

The Visitor

This was a collaboration with my good friends @addersmire (who led the charge on coding and designing the game) and Moss (I’m not sure if he has a tumblr so. hi moss, they did the sound design). I built the dialogue system (using yarn, they did the bulk of the legwork), wrote the most of the dialogue, and created the intro animation! 

It’s very different from the rest of my work this semester (probs because I was collaborating) and ended up being pretty fucking sick actually! I feel a lot more comfortable with Unity after this (especially bc addersmire is kind of a unity god? they have magical powers I think).

I’ll probs be incorporating yarn more into my work from now on since its such a good system (that needs more people to do forum answers for bc guys these hyper specific problems need answering)

The visitor is just an intro/prototype to a game we spent some time concepting. Not sure if it’ll ever be finished but it was a great experiment - you can play the intro on itch!

[miswaken]

@peuronoia asked: 🔮 CRYSTAL BALL — what is a core memory from your childhood that you think defines you today? in character development questions || accepting

Childhood feels like ten lifetimes ago now. Everything before the Dark Place does. It's easy to forget the surface when your head's under the water, but Alice knows how important it is not to lose yourself in a place like this.

"I wish it was something specific. Some... snapshot moment, the kind of crystal clear flashback you see in movies." She huffs a small laugh from her nose.

"It's not exactly one memory, but when I got to high school and could finally take a photography class, I had a really great teacher. Mrs. Matthews. I'd gotten my first camera as a birthday gift years before that, and I already knew it was something I loved -- I filled my schedule with whatever art classes public school had to offer until I got to the tenth grade and could sign up for Photo 1. And in those other courses, I was... not very good." It's something she can grimace about now with a smile tugging at her lips. The memories of crumpling up projects that would never emerge from the bottom of her backpack have become less cutting with age. But at the time, it was devastating. "Drawing, painting -- I even took a single semester of ceramics and only made a couple lumpy ashtrays. I had such an appreciation for art, all forms of it, even then, but it was like I couldn't translate what was in my head onto paper. Or clay. The only medium that let me make what I saw in my mind real was photography. But honestly, by the time I got to the class, I doubted how true that was. Every time I got a roll of film back from the drugstore I wanted to throw it out. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't an artistic prodigy or anything, but the passion was fading. I almost stopped loving it completely."

She might not be able to picture the days themselves so clearly, but Alice can recall the feeling of nervous dread in those first sessions of the photography course. The sinking worry that this teacher would treat her like her other art instructors -- not unkindly, but with the sort of that's a great effort, Alice attitude that really meant you're not very good at this, but I'm giving you participation points.

"And if this was like a movie, this would be the part where I reminisce about how my fears were unfounded, and the whole class wept upon witnessing my first eight-by-ten floating in the tray of fixer." Alice shakes her head with another breathy laugh. "I had a complete meltdown the first time in the darkroom, and I ruined four other students' film when I ripped the door open. But Mrs. Matthews was just... kind. Encouraging. She taught me how to use a changing bag for developing so I wouldn't have to deal with the completely dark room. Never said anything about it, just... brought it in the next day for me to use. After that, her class was the first time I got genuine feedback. She told me how I could improve because she knew that I could, and she wanted me to know that I was capable of more, too."

"At the end of the year, the schools in the area put on an art show and contest for all the grades. Mrs. Matthews set aside a few of my prints from the year and said it was up to me what I submitted. My first reaction was to tell her that none of my work was good enough. I couldn't tell you exactly what she said to me, what the inspiring teacher speech was that changed my mind, but I know she changed it. I ended up submitting a photo I took of Lake Michigan frozen over, and it won third place after the work of two senior photo students. That was the proudest of myself that I'd ever been before."

The fond smile softens, a pinch between her brows as she swallows the lump in her throat. Maybe it's a silly thing to get emotional about, but it can't be helped. Photography had been an unbridled joy once, a child's hobby that became an open door towards the art-focused life she wanted so badly to live. Simple, in hindsight. So much more raw and real than what the medium has become for her.

"When I got into my first gallery in New York, I sent her an invite. I didn't think she'd show up, honestly, but she did -- and I sold my first piece on opening night to her. Of course I told her how much it all meant to me, but... I hope she really knew."

[uncwfst]

Cinespace Studios - Ari Hurst - Blog #4

My last month at Cinespace has been super interesting! We now have a major show filming on the lot, so a lot of the sound stages are being used as sets or to transfer equipment to them. I've kind of been doing a little bit of everything. We've been running around and pulling together small equipment orders for the show, repairing things, managing inventory, and occasionally goofing off every now and then. I included a picture from the day of the eclipse; it happened right in the middle of my shift, and none of us had eclipse glasses, so we settled for putting some filters together and holding them up to try and catch a glimpse of it. I wasn't super confident in how safe that was, though, so I only took a quick peek! Another memorable moment for me was getting to help rig lights for a set in one of the sound stages. I got to see just how tricky it is to suspend a sky panel like that, and I also got to see the video wall that they had. It was a very cool setup, and I was so thrilled to be included in it!

It's been an honor getting to intern at Cinespace this semester. It's definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone, but I think I've grown a lot because of it. I'm so grateful to the folks at Cinespace for being so chill and welcoming to me, and for always encouraging me to ask questions. It's been a blast!