#I want to be able to say whether or not I want an abortion not that I should have one

[tasteracha]

kinktober - day one

kink: breeding kink with chan

warnings: smut - MINORS DNI. talk of birth control. unprotected sex. afab!reader.

the thing is, you don’t even want kids. or at least, not right now, not in the place in life you were. you’re sure that if you ever did end up wanting kids that you would want them with chan though, the most perfect and gentle soul with the perfect balance of sweet and spicy that you would love to see passed down the genetic line. even so, it doesn’t explain why the thought of him spilling inside of you and filling you up to the brim makes you shiver in unabridged desire.

it’s a thought that you’ve kept to yourself until now. for all of his quick jokes and dirty humor, chan is pretty tame in bed - he knows what he likes, what you like, and rarely strays from it. he’s always been willing to try new things, whether it results in the best fuck of your combined lives or with the two of you giggling all over each other, but for some reason this one is different.

it’s only after he’s pulled out two orgasms from you, one with his fingers and the other with his mouth, that you let it slip out right as he’s slipping himself into you. 

“oh, fuck,” you grunt, bearing down on chan’s dick as he bottoms out. “knock me up baby, come on.”

“wait, really?” he stops moving just as he’s almost pulled out, mouth gaped open, leaving your core pulsing around nothing and you resist the urge to roll your eyes at him. “i just mean, we haven’t talked about it, shouldn’t we get married firs-”

“no not really, i’m on birth control, dumbass,” you raise yourself up, glutes on fire as you try and fuck yourself on his cock, taking the both of your breaths away for a moment. “it’s just really hot to imagine. now fill me up with your babies, please.”

you don’t know if it’s your tone or your words, crude as they were, but his eyes harden just a bit and he slams his hips down with enough force that yours press up against the mattress again, making you see stars. 

“how can i deny you anything when you ask so nicely?” he says, punctuating every other word with a harsh thrust and you for a moment you can’t even remember what he was talking about with the way your thoughts are tangled up.

“you’d give me anything, hmm?” your voice comes out in whisps, your breath utterly taken away by him. 

he gets a bit animalistic then, like he’s trying to get into the mood, to match you on your level at his own pace - which seems to be fast, if the way he’s drilling into you like a jackhammer has anything to say about it. 

“you’re going to look so good with my baby inside of you,” he rubs at your lower belly before pushing down, stimulating you from either side as he continues fucking into you so slowly. he’s finally letting himself lean into it, the logic that he was trying to work around suddenly forgotten in lieu of ramming into you like he would die if he stopped. 

“come on,” you twist your hips a bit, letting him hit new spots within you that send your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “come in me, you can do it baby.”

you know you won’t be able to come again until you feel his release inside of you, costing your walls like a painting. you continue urging him, sweet words in his ears and whispered encouragements that make his arms tighten just a little bit more around you until he comes with a growl. his movements go slack, little aborted thrusts, and he buries his head into your neck just as you come around his length. 

it takes the two of you several moments to come down from your highs, the sound of your panting covering the entire room.

“no!” you cry out almost involuntarily when he moves to pull out, the slightest budge that causes some of the cum inside of you to slip out. your hands grasp at his hips, holding him against you and the movement drives him further inside of you than he had been all night. you shake in oversensitivity, the tiny drag of him against your walls burning so good.

he’s not entirely unaffected either, shown by the way he all but collapses on top of you. he’s covering you completely, his weight on top of you and his softening cock inside of you a comfort. 

“do you think it took?” he massages at your belly, right where his cock was. if you weren’t also as hazy as him, you might have snarked back at him about how it’s very unlikely that it did, but any comment you might have made fizzled out with one look at his dazed face. his eyes were soft, clouded over a bit and he had a small smile on his face as he looked up at you from where his head was resting on your chest. 

kinktober masterlist

[writinginthesecrettrees]

Ok, I'm gonna be REAL controversial for a second:

Saying "incest and underage fics are ok because it's usually CSA survivors recontextualizing/processing their own experience" is just purity culture lite. It's like saying "Birth control should be legal because some people use it for non-birth control related purposes" or "abortion needs to be legal because women can die without it."

Yes, these are TRUE and IMPORTANT things. But kind of... not the point?

Kind of giving way to the antis, the puritanical right, the misogynists who just want to control women (because you KNOW they aren't thinking about trans men or nonbinary people when they legislate abortion).

Lemme see if I can explain: by saying "look at this VALID and IMPORTANT reason someone might have for doing the thing you don't like," you are saying that there are invalid reasons for it. That some people shouldn't do it.

You are saying that it is objectively wrong, and that exceptions must be made for it to be okay. And putting aside the fact that NO ONE should have to disclose their personal trauma for judgement, that no one should have to disclose their personal medical history to a judge or legislator before receiving treatment... you are conceding the point.

I refuse to concede anything on this.

I like fucked up fic, I like being able to fuck without getting pregnant, I like that if my birth control fails I can still make a choice about whether or not I want to be pregnant and give birth. I WILL NOT go into my reasons on ANY of this. Because YOU do not have a right to that information, and I am also protecting the privacy of everyone else who does not want to share their reasons.

[nxuvillette]

TO FEEL WHOLE AGAIN — BOOTHILL

synopsis: getting pregnant and left by yourself wasn’t in your plans in life at all, but you end up meeting a man who becomes more than just a friend who’s willing to help.

❥- pairings : boothill x fem!reader

❥- note : so sorry for any inactivity !! life has just been a wreck, but i’m here with a little idea I came up with the other night. i hope you all enjoy <3 reblogs are appreciated !!

content warnings : sfw, fem!reader, ageless + blank blogs dni, pregnancy, abandonment, heavy angst, breakups, mentions of abortion (reader does not have one), mentions of alcohol, human!boothill, angst with happy ending, use of pet names (darling + lovely), fluff, very fluffy things.

You can recall the day you met Boothill like it was the back of your hand. 

It was the day your life had begun a completely new journey, but also, the same day that your life had completely fallen apart within just twenty four hours. Every memory was ingrained in your brain like it was never meant to go away. How could things end up going right, but so wrong at the same time?

About seven months prior, you found yourself sitting inside of a bar with tears still staining your cheeks from the incident that had occurred just hours beforehand. Your heart had gleamed, but shattered just minutes after. You questioned why something like this had happened to you. You never wronged anybody. Sure, you weren’t the most perfect person to exist, but as humans, it’s in their nature to make mistakes. Yet, god had different plans for you and they weren’t exactly the most pleasing ones.

Just two days before that day, you had found out you were pregnant. 

It came by total surprise. You and your boyfriend weren’t exactly trying for kids, but you both had been together for four years at that point. You noticed something was off about you when your period suddenly missed its usual day, and you were experiencing some very odd symptoms that were unusual. After some convincing from your friends, you decided to go out and purchase a pregnancy test which came back positive. You didn’t know what to feel. You were excited, nervous, emotional, but most of all, anxious. You didn’t know how to break the news to your boyfriend and you weren’t sure whether or not you wanted to keep it. 

For a few days, you didn’t say anything to him. You weren’t the best with words and you didn’t want to dump something so sudden onto him either, but he eventually figured it out when he found you one morning throwing up your breakfast into the toilet. 

He wasn’t angry or upset, but you knew something wasn’t right with him after he found out. He started to become somewhat distant and he avoided any conversation about the baby growing inside you. Then, that same day you ended up at the bar, you had woken up to him gone. All of his items and personal belongings had been cleaned out, and when you tried to get a hold of him, he just completely ghosted you. You didn’t understand. Was it you? Was it the baby? Why did he just up and leave you like that with zero hesitation? It was like your heart had been shattered into pieces and you didn’t know what to do. He left you alone and pregnant with his child. 

Completely brokenhearted and confused, that’s how you ended up in the bar. No, you weren’t drinking any alcohol, but there was a part of you that wanted to head to the clinic and terminate the pregnancy all together. You couldn’t raise a baby on your own. You had seen many stories of mothers defying the odds and managing, but would you be able to? You loved your now ex boyfriend more than life itself. You didn’t think you could fall in love again, and what man would want a single mother as a girlfriend? Most of them would scurry away the second it’s brought up. It wasn’t their job to shame you for whatever choices you made. 

The bar's atmosphere was buzzing with people chatting amongst themselves. Despite being around people, you still felt completely isolated inside of it. You kept thinking of the choices in your brain over and over again. It was consuming you, and you didn’t think you were in the right state of mind to make that decision right now.

You were brought out of your thoughts when the bartender placed a glass in front of you. It was filled with some kind of alcohol that looked like it could be a margarita or a martini. Your brows furrowed at the sight of the beverage. You didn’t order it. “U-Um.. sir, I didn’t order this.” you pushed the glass towards the man behind the bar who was cleaning some cups used earlier. 

“I know, but that man over there did.” he pointed towards the other end of the bar.

You turned your attention to where he was motioning his hand. Your eyes widened a little at the sight of the man who sat a few seats away from you. He had a cowboy hat on top of his head, and very long hair that stretched past his chair. He was wearing a white button up shirt that exposed his chest just a little. He noticed you were staring at him and winked at you, then waved a little. It didn’t seem creepy or strange, but you didn’t know how to react. Despite feeling the way you did, you couldn’t help but think how handsome he was. He had a cunning smile and seemed like one of those cowboys you would have heard of in stories you heard when you were younger, but you knew you couldn’t accept his drink. 

Soon enough, you turned away and just pushed your drink from your reach. You didn’t want to do anything stupid. If it came off as rude, then so be it. You weren’t about to fight with another man this evening. 

You decided to check your phone. There was a small bit of hope that was in your heart. You hoped that maybe your ex reached out to you to fix things or maybe had something to say, but unfortunately, there was nothing. You had a few random notifications from friends, but otherwise, it was silence on the other end. God, you felt like an idiot. He was gone for good. Men who do that shit typically fall off the face of the earth and never come back again. 

“Hey, sweetheart, mind if I take this spot next to ya?” 

You practically jumped out of your skin at the sudden voice that spoke beside you. Your head snapped towards the sound, and you were a bit surprised to see that man who was sitting across the bar now standing next to you. His cologne filled your nose. It smelled of deep wood with a mix of pine. 

Your words got caught in your throat. Was he doing this to make you uncomfortable? Part of you wanted to ignore him, but he wasn’t necessarily doing anything wrong. “N-No! Go ahead.. it’s empty anyway..” you replied, trying to avoid his eyes that were boring holes into your face.

The man plopped beside you, taking a swig of his glass that seemed to be filled with some kind of whisky. He was quiet, at first. You weren’t sure if striking up a conversation was in your cards tonight. You were honestly too lost in your thoughts, and somewhat a little nauseated. “So, uh, do ya come around here often? You’re quite the peach if I say so myself.” he placed his cheek against his fist which was resting against the table beside him.

“I don’t..” you replied, dryly. 

He seemed a little discouraged by your sudden lack of enthusiasm. It wasn’t your intention, but really, you weren’t interested. “I see.. my name’s Boothill.” he said. “Yours?”

Your eyes flickered towards him then back at the soda can that your hand was wrapped around. This was starting to feel awkward or almost like a forced conversation. You didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but you wanted him to take the hint. “(Y/N)..” you looked at your cell phone to try and avoid him. “Look.. I-I appreciate the drink, but I’m not really interested in a relationship. I just don’t.. I..”

Before you were even able to finish your sentence, tears began to trickle down your cheeks. You didn’t even know you were holding them in until they began to slip from your eyes. 

Boothill was taken back by your sudden tears. He immediately felt guilt wash over him. He didn’t mean to come off as a weirdo or forceful towards you. That’s the last thing he would ever do. “Hey.. I’m sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I-I can totally take the drink back and get out of your hair.” he stood up out of his chair to leave the bar. 

You started to wipe your cheeks of any liquid that was on them. “N-No, it’s alright, it’s not you..” you shook your head. “I’ve just had a rough couple of hours.. believe me, it’s not you at all.” 

The man was unsure of what to reply with. Regardless, he felt very bad for you. Not many people come into bars to weep. Most of the time, they come to do the opposite and use the drinks to numb any negative feelings they have. He didn’t want to pry by any means. “I see.. I’m still sorry,  darlin’ I had no idea..” he paused for a moment thinking of what to say next. “If you wanna talk, I’m willing to listen, can’t guarantee I’m any good at advice, but I can be an open ear.”

You weren’t sure if venting your feelings to a complete stranger would make any difference in how you felt. It's not like he would care much anyway. He would probably look at you with that same look every other person had given you when you told them what your ex did. 

However, you were completely wrong.

That day you told Boothill everything that had happened to you. He was completely blown away when you confessed that you were pregnant. He kept apologizing for the drink and was somewhat worried that you felt disrespected, but you didn’t take any offense. It’s not like he knew, nor were you even showing at that point. 

Although he didn’t know you, he had a lot of sympathy for you. He told you that your boyfriend wasn’t a man, but a young boy who couldn’t take responsibility for his actions and he didn’t deserve you by any means. Boothill felt as if abandoning a woman and her child was the sickest thing you could ever do in this life, and you couldn’t help but agree. Especially after spending many years together. 

It felt kind of nice to have someone listen. Even if he was some random person you didn’t know, there was at least somebody out there who was willing to give you the time of day. 

You felt a little dull when you realized you would probably never see Boothill again, but you thanked him many times for his patience. He was even sweet enough to walk you back to your apartment which wasn’t very far from the bar at all. Typically, you weren’t so trusting when it came to men in general, but Boothill’s energy felt secure for some reason. You didn’t feel fear or unease around him. Your body would always give you signs someone wasn’t good, but you were calm and didn’t have a single issue. 

For a little while, you wondered if keeping the child was the right option, but after a lot of conversations with your friends and family, and oddly enough, Boothill, you decided to go forward with the pregnancy. 

You thought you would have to do it alone, but that changed almost instantly when you started receiving random items at your doorstep one morning. 

You had a stable job, but you knew babies weren’t a walk in the park financially. Your parents offered to help pay for whatever was necessary, but you felt bad for making them do such a thing. It all started to shift when you discovered a package outside your apartment door. You had a box of different supplies. Baby shampoo, baby bottles, wipes, lotions. It was basic necessities for an infant and you were a bit confused how they showed up there. You questioned your parents but they denied ordering anything of the sorts, so you wondered who gifted it to you. 

Your friends were also clueless. They had gifts in mind but they weren’t planning on purchasing anything that early on in your pregnancy. You hadn’t even planned on a baby shower or anything of the sorts. 

It didn’t take long for more things to arrive. One morning, you saw that you had been given some baby toys. They were small and quite cute, but you still had yet to discover who was the one leaving them at your doorstep. You wondered if it was potentially your ex trying to somehow compensate you for deserting you, but would he really? He left you alone with the baby. It was clear enough that he wasn’t interested in helping to raise it, so why put in the effort to accommodate you? He could care less about you. 

It all changed when you were leaving your apartment one afternoon. You had an appointment at the doctor’s office to check on how the baby was doing, and standing right beside your front door was not your ex, but Boothill.

At first, you didn’t notice him holding a box of items in his hand, but the realization soon took over that he was the one buying the gifts. You were taken by complete surprise. The two of you had hardly interacted much during that time period, so it did confuse you why he was helping you. He wasn’t obligated to just because you informed him of what your ex did. It wasn’t like you were begging him for money or assistance either. Boothill was just as surprised to see you there too. He usually would stop by when he knew you wouldn’t be around, but he knew sooner or later the truth would come out.

With a flushed face, Boothill began to explain himself. 

He told you that he just couldn’t let you go on that journey alone. He knew it wasn’t his responsibility to be buying you things or even being involved in your life like that, but at the same time, he couldn’t sleep at night knowing that you were all alone and there wasn’t anybody else to be there for you. He did apologize if it made you uncomfortable and he wouldn’t come around again if that was the case. 

However, you told him the opposite. You were very thankful for what he had been doing for you. Not many men would step up and just go out of their way to buy things for a baby that wasn’t theirs. You told him you were very appreciative of what he had done, and he could come around as often as he liked. It was kind of lonely being by yourself all of the time. Your friends weren’t always the most available, and you lived on your own. It felt nice to know that somebody wanted to spend time with you. He was relieved that you weren’t weirded out or upset with his actions. He wanted to do the right thing. 

Much to his surprise, you invited him to come to your ultrasound that day, and he was thrilled.

Your interactions grew over the course of a few months. You started seeing him everyday and he came around whenever you needed something. Boothill didn’t mind spending his days with you. It was a joy to watch your belly grow and to see your baby begin to become larger than it was before. His favorite moments were when he’d feel a small kick or movement. He loved kids. It was a guilty pleasure of his, and he honestly couldn’t wait to meet your baby girl. He made so many bets that it was going to be a girl and you thought he would somehow be wrong, but he was right the entire time. 

Along with the baby's growth, there were also feelings between you and Boothill too. He was the first man in your life since your ex and he treated you so much better. He did everything for you, and the baby wasn’t even his. He would spend time helping you tidy up your house, holding your hair away from your face when you had morning sickness, making you tea, giving you massages whenever your body felt sore. Boothill did everything. He even offered at one point to do the entire nursery for you when your due date came closer, but you assured him that it wasn’t his duty to do so. 

But, he planned on doing it anyway.

All of your friends told you to go for it. They said that Boothill was what you needed and they could tell he was into you too, but you were still unsure. If anything, he could be doing all of this just to somehow hurt you in the end or claim you “owed” him a relationship for doing everything for the baby. You knew that probably wasn’t the case, but you were still on the fence.

But, was he?

-

That afternoon, you had woken up from a nap to a knocking coming from your front door. You weren’t expecting any guests, but you had already assumed it was Boothill who was there to do his usual drop by to check in on you. 

You unlocked the front door, pulling it open so he could enter. He was dressed in his usual outfit. A white button shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and those cowboy boots that you had made fun of a few times. Boothill was used to just entering your place at that point. “Afternoon, darlin’” he said, shutting the door behind him. 

Your hair was a bit messy from your nap and you weren’t really dressed up. You wore an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts that sat just below your belly. It was a lot more comfortable than the regular pajamas you were used to wearing months ago, but alas, the growth of your body had made those a lot less comfortable these days. Boothill still thought you were gorgeous despite the messy look. “Hi..” you yawned. “Sorry, I’m fresh from a nap. I didn’t hear my alarm..”

“Not a problem, I was just stopping by to drop something off for you.” he replied, handing you a box that had your name on top of it.

Your eyes flickered from the box to the man who was staring down at you. You were used to him giving you random things for the baby here and there, so you were expecting something that was a necessity. “I’m curious, let me see.” you then began opening at the box to see what was inside of it.

After a few seconds, you pulled out a small blanket, but it wasn’t one that was from the store. It was actually homemade, and right in the center was the baby name you had picked out stitched into the fabric with baby pink lace. It was probably the most adorable thing you had ever received from him. It was so soft and you could already picture yourself swaddling your little girl in the blanket itself. The fact that it was homemade as well made it even more special than it already was. 

You weren’t sure if it was the pregnancy emotions or not, but you could feel warm tears burning your eyes. It was truthfully making you feel so happy for this pregnancy, but most of all for Boothill. You couldn’t be more blessed with a man like him. “I-I.. I love it..” you sniffled, trying to hide your tears. “It’s so cute..”

Boothill was concerned with your sudden emotions. He didn’t mean to make you cry. If anything, he wanted to do something special for you since you were a special person in his life. “Ahh.. shit, I’m sorry, lovely, is it too much?” he asked, nodding his head. 

You shook your head, laughing in the process to try and halt the tears slipping through your eyes. It was the furthest thing from too much. You adored it. You didn’t care if the stitching was a little crooked or if the pink was somewhat bright, it was cute. It had to be one of the best gifts you had ever gotten. “N-No! I love it! It’s something I wouldn’t have imagined you’d give me! Did you do it all on your own?” you looked up at him with an eyebrow raised.

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Haha.. yeah, that’s why it might seem a little messy. I got the idea though and figured why not? You need something to swaddle that little monster with!” he smiled, which made you smile as well.

Boothill was taken back when he suddenly felt your arms wrap around him. This was the first time you had ever initiated any sort of physical contact with him, and he wasn’t sure how to react to it. Your body felt warm and your belly was against his own abdomen. He could smell the scent of your shampoo lingering in your hair, and it almost intoxicated him from how delicious it smelled. He hesitated for a brief moment, then settled his own arms around your waist. It just felt.. so right to be hugging you. He had yearned for quite a while to feel your touch, and now that he had it, he wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip through his fingers.

Your cheeks felt hot at the realization that you two were so close. There was so much going through your mind at the moment, and all you craved was him. His presence, his touch, his warmth, anything. It was all you wanted. “Boothill.. I want you there when she’s born..” you spoke, softly. “I want you by my side.. you deserve that more than anybody else.”

His eyes grew wide at your words. Sure, he knew he was going to visit when your baby was finally born, but in the room? During the birth? Oh, he could faint right about now. “Of course I’ll be there, sugar. You know I wouldn’t miss it.” he replied, smiling at the thought of your birth. 

Boothill then crouched down to meet your belly. He hadn’t ever done that before while being with you. You felt his hands touch your stomach, seemingly searching for your little girl who was somewhere in there. It felt so natural for him to be doing this. You didn’t feel off or weirded out. You loved the way his fingers explored your skin, touching and grazing at the stretch marks that had formed within time, but what you loved the most, was him.

“Can’t wait to meet your little one.. she’ll be a peach, I know it.” he looked up at you with a grin. 

“Our.. little one.”

Boothill paused when the words slipped from your lips. He thought he had misheard you for a second. “W-What..?” his brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

You felt a little bashful having to repeat yourself. You weren’t sure what his reaction might be to you saying such a thing, but you couldn’t keep quiet anymore about your feelings. You wanted him involved in your daughter’s life so badly. It would kill you inside if that wasn’t the case. “O-Our.. baby, Boothill.” you said, avoiding his gaze that was fixed on you.

He stood up, still staring at your face with a serious expression. It was like his heart had completely blown up inside of his chest. It was like he was falling in love with you all over again at that very moment. He couldn’t feel more honored that you thought of him that way. “You’re serious..?” he questioned, looking into your eyes. 

“Y-Yes.. god, yes, Boothill. I don’t care if she’s not technically yours.. in the end, I want you in her life, and mine too. I can’t imagine a life without you..” you whispered, intertwining your fingers with his.

He couldn’t hide his wide smile at your confession. All of the love he had swallowed down was now completely overflowing, and he didn’t mind whatsoever. You were so beautiful. He adored you so much, and he was more than happy to call you his girlfriend. He was also thrilled to have a daughter. He could care less if people would judge him for raising a child that wasn’t his. He was more of a father to her than any other man would be. 

He suddenly pulled you close to him, pressing a kiss onto your lips. It was so passionate and loving. He couldn’t stop himself. It was like he was finally able to have what he wanted, and it felt amazing. “I love you so much, darling, you don’t even know how deep my love runs for you..” he pressed his forehead against your own. “I’d die for you and our little angel..”

A grin appeared on your face. This was all you ever wanted to hear. You didn’t think you would ever have the opportunity to hear him say such things, but you couldn’t be happier it was coming true. “I love you more, Boothill.” you then placed his hand on your belly. “And I know she does too..”

The both of you couldn’t be more excited at that moment. It was all perfect. You had everything you ever wanted. Neither of you imagined that this life would be in front of you now, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

© NXUVILLETTE ┆ all rights reserved, do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

[anexperimentallife]

So you want leftist candidates? Here's how you get them:

First off, you have to understand that the far right didn't just wake up one day and say, "We should fuck up the country!" They have been OPENLY working for decades to fill literally every elected or appointed government position they could with Christian Dominionists and other right-wingers, and these folks show up to the polls EVERY SINGLE TIME.

When I was a kid in a far right church in the 1960s, they openly discussed how important is was to get their people into office who would help pass legislation to persecute/imprison/kill anyone who didn't follow their religion. If there's no one sufficiently right-wing running, they'll vote for whomever is closest, even if it gags them. And I cannot emphasize enough that they have long term goals that they are willing to take--and HAVE taken--generations to achieve.

The overturning of Roe v. Wade, for example, is a DIRECT RESULT of the decades-long effort by the far right to boost the most far-right-leaning candidates they could find. They've been talking for decades SPECIFICALLY about getting enough far right judges in SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade. And these SCOTUS appointments are for LIFE, so these judges get to set policy for your GRANDCHILDREN.

So yes, the overturning of Roe v. Wade was only made possible because Trump was able to appoint three SCOTUS judges, in addition to all the other federal judges he appointed. Amd they're talking about going after same-sex marriage, minority rights, etc.

(Hell, the judge in charge of his secret documents case is one that he appointed--she has indefinitely postponed that case,by the way.)

And you don't think local school board elections are important? Have you not seen the news about all the anti-queer policies, and all the book-bannings? This, also, has a generational effect.

Meanwhile the left refuses to turn up to the polls because none of the candidates are pure enough. So guess why things are getting worse?

If the Left turned out for the most left-leaning candidate at EVERY SINGLE ELECTION, whether local or state or whatever, including primaries, we'd start seeing more leftist candidates. Yes, that means that if there's a choice between two extreme right wing candidates, you vote for the least extreme one.

I know I keep emphasizing that this is not just about POTUS, but POTUS does figure in, of course (among other things, who do you think appoints judges for congress to approve?).

So swallow this pill: Anything shitty Biden is doing, the shitgibbon will do MORE of.

"Not gonna vote Biden because he supports genocide, so I'd rather the guy win who ALSO supports genocide, wants Russia to invade more countries, thinks it's fine if China retakes Taiwan, wants a nationwide abortion ban, removal of civil rights for minorities, wants to overturn same-sex marriage (which the right-leaning majority in SCOTUS are already talking about), to cut back the role of congress in checking executive actions (including workarounds to avoid the need for congressional confirmation for presidential appointees), to remove federal employee protections so federal personnel can be replaced with Trump loyalists, and so on! That'll teach those Dems a lesson! THEN they'll be sorry. And fuck everyone the bad guys hurt, because I'll still be PURE. So what if top GOP officials want to actually NUKE Gaza?"

That's fucking kindergartner thinking.

Yes, Biden is a piece of shit, but I am not waxing at all hyperbolic when I say that a second orange shitgibbon term, with a far-right-majority SCOTUS--especially if the GOP manages majorities in both houses of congress--may be the end of what little is left of Democracy in the US. Not gonna argue about it, because I don't waste my time with petulant children.

Look at the GOP's plans for a Republican administration, and tell me you think it sounds better than another term of Biden. Hell, they've even set up online trainings and loyalty tests to narrow down potential federal hires to those who will commit to follow Trump without question.

I repeat: If you want more leftist candidates, if you want more worker power, if you want billionaires taxed, if you want to protect minorities and the queer community, you have to adopt the strategy that the right has used, educate yourself about what candidates stand for, and show up EVERY SINGLE TIME. Again, that includes primaries.

So many of us on the left would rather sit in the basement dreaming of some magical revolution that's going to fix everything, giving ourselves and others purity tests, and proudly announcing that we're... boycotting democracy by not voting(?), "because none of the candidates are a good choice."

Yeah, the left refusing to vote--or only voting in presidential elections--while the right turns up every time is exactly how we got here.

And you have to support the most left-leaning candidate even if it makes you gag, and even if "most left-leaning" means "not as openly fascist." This is the ONLY way you can be assured of candidates getting further to the left in the future. (Note that this means learning about your local candidates.)

"But voting won't fix--" I never said it was going to fix everything. There's no rule that if you vote, you can't volunteer with Food Not Bombs, or run for school board, or demonstrate, or circulate petitions. It takes more than voting, but voting has to be PART of our strategy.

You also have to accept that it may take decades to change course, and that you're not going to like every candidate you have to vote for.

The right didn't just magically get the orange shitgibbon into office overnight. It took decades of work. And if we want decent human beings in charge, we have to be willing to do the same.

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[heliza24]

Please allow me to brain dump all of my episode 5/devils minion thoughts/questions/predictions one more time before the episode comes out this weekend here. Only partially organized into something of a list:

- After the initial aborted interview, Armand is jealous that Daniel is able to connect to Louis in a way that he cannot, and he’s furious that Louis tells him about Lestat. He’s also just angry and frustrated. He’s been trying to make things up to Louis for thirty years, and their relationship has been strained for as long. And he takes it out on Daniel. I imagine the “is that was makes you fascinating?” Could easily be in response to Louis saying something like “I know I should have killed him, like we always kill the boys we sleep with, but he was just so fascinating that I didn’t want to.” And then all the jealousy that Armand has carefully stored away when Louis was imagining Lestat or choosing to sleep with another human rather than him just bubbles up to the surface.

- The more I think about it the more questions I have about Louis and Armand’s relationship (and their relationship to the absent Lestat) at this time. What caused Louis to want to do a first interview in the 70s? What happened between the 1973 and 2022 to change how he describes Lestat to Daniel so much? How and why do Louis and Daniel connect, and what does that mean for why they are repeating the interview in 2022? I am sometimes very guilty of having Armandaniel ship goggles on, I love them so so much together, and most of the further points on this list are from that lens. But I would be remiss to forget that Louis is the protagonist of this show, and that he has always been paralleled with Daniel narratively. So their connection is going to be really important, and i am also dying to understand it.

- Armand’s “I am the quiet you have been longing for” speech to Daniel is the equivalent of Santiago rooting around in his victim’s head before luring them into a willing death on stage. It’s seduction, but a seduction towards death. Armand is trying to peel Daniel apart in his anger. But somewhere along the line he gets too used to looking, too fascinated himself, to kill Daniel.

- I’m sure some of the initial anger at Daniel, and some of the initial anger at Louis, for humoring and connecting with him, has to do with Armand’s engrained respect for the great laws. Louis violates the law about not recording the history of the vampires, by talking to Daniel. He has revealed his true nature and let Daniel live, etc. part of me wonders if that’s why there’s that photo of Armand and Louis carrying Daniel when Louis is clearly being burned by doing it during the day. He made a mess, and his punishment is to do the dirty work of cleaning it up, even if Armand could take care of Daniel quickly on his own if he wanted to. I presume that eventually Armand ends up breaking rules himself around Daniel (not killing him, chiefly) which makes the forbidden aspect of their relationship all the more interesting to me.

- The two examples we have so far of Armand peering into Daniel’s memories (selling porn magazines and sleeping with a girl only if she would cover her face) speak to a combination of sexual shame, cruelty, repression, and desperation. There is something prompting Danny to sell those magazines, whether it be poverty or some hidden trauma. And Armand is familiar with that kind of relationship to sexuality. There might also be something about Daniel’s sexual brashness, as complicated as that might actually be, that feels refreshing after decades of Louis’s simmering resentment. There’s also a similarity between these early Daniel facts and Louis pulling the knife on Paul. It demonstrates a vampire-compatible personality (a certain viciousness combined with certain type of shame) while they’re both still human. And I’m sure that is fascinating to Armand.

- I’m also hoping that we’ll learn a little bit about Daniel’s childhood or backstory. I do feel like he has to be already running from something by the time he meets the vampires. He’s self medicating for sure, and I want to know why. Whenever I write about Daniel in fic I always end up coming back to his relationship to women and mothers/daughters, maybe because his daughters that he doesn’t speak to anymore in 2022 seem to loom large in absentia to me in the Dubai version of his character (especially in the ways they echo with Claudia). His disavowal of his queerness and kind of casual acceptance of the fact that he was a shitty husband does the same thing. The casual cruelty and misogyny of the bag over the head story reinforces this to me. I would love to learn more about this side of Danny, not because I think it’s a particularly good part of him, but because it’s a thing I think we’re missing in our understanding of him. It makes him grey in the same way the vampires are grey, in the same way Louis was grey before he was turned, and I want to understand it better.

- I think Louis begs Armand to stop torturing Daniel; whether or not he and Daniel actually hook up (and I kind hope they do!) I think Louis genuinely likes him. But Armand either refuses or continues to chase/torture/fall in love with Daniel behind Louis’s back. I’m not positive this is what the show is going to do, but I think it would work so well to have Daniel basically be an affair during Louis and Armand’s marriage. that information imbalance would make the drama in the penthouse more dynamic, and I think it would make sense that Armand would be looking for some kind of release, something that was just his, while he was trying to manage Louis’s moods and continued attachment to Lestat.

- I have a kind of more structural question as well, which is- how much they are gonna show us in this episode? Just from a character arc perspective, I don’t think they can end season 2 without Daniel knowing exactly why his memories were erased. That’s his dramatic question; not just what happened to me, but why do I not remember (and what does that mean for me now)? So I suspect that if we only see the first part of Devil’s minion in this episode, the torture and the stalking maybe, but we don’t get to the point where Daniel’s memories are erased, then there will be future revelations in the later episodes about happened in the 1970s. I am also wondering if the episode will be akin to a bottle episode, at least in the San Francisco section, set all over the same night in the same location. This is very play-like, so it would not surprise me if the writers room full of playwrights wrote it this way. And we’ve also only seen images and clips from the one location and the one set of costumes. If that’s the case, and we learn why Daniel’s memories were erased in this episode, that means his interaction with the vampires was actually pretty short lived, and any deeper devil’s minion stuff is gonna happen in the Dubai era if it happens at all. Because of that I either hope that the episode is less of a bottle episode than we’ve been led to believe, or that the bottle episode is only the start of a longer interaction between Daniel and Armand.

- To me Armand is like a dragon, who has been taught through repeated trauma that the only way to get what he wants is to roll over and show his vulnerable belly. Thats his dynamic with Louis; he grants him control even though he is the more powerful one because he wants to keep Louis. But Armand comes in like the monster he is to Daniel, and the fact that Daniel ends up liking him anyway, and doesn’t ask him to dim his power or appear more human or more gentle, is what makes their connection special. That’s what makes generally terrifying Danny early on necessary, the idea that he sees the absolute worst of Armand and is still somehow interested. I hope we can get to the point in this season where Daniel can articulate how attracted he is to Armand’s monstrosity. Based on the critic’s reactions I guess we’re not getting that this episode? But I live in hope that we’ll get that sentiment somehow before the season ends.

- Part of me is scared that the critics who believe that nothing romantic is going on between Daniel and Armand are somehow correct. Like, maybe we just aren’t gonna see any of that at all this season. Maybe if they have a romance at all it will just be in the Dubai timeline somewhere down the road. But then I remember the way Assad plays Armand around Daniel, and the way that he has jumped to Daniel’s aid twice (once in season 1 and once in season 2), and the “Alice wanted to say yes when you proposed but you hadn’t given her a reason to trust you” comment, which to me so clearly reads as Armand talking about himself. Surely those things don’t mean nothing.

- I love the idea that if Daniel and Armand were having an affair, Daniel asking to be turned and made into Armand’s companion would involve Armand leaving Louis, or at least breaking his trust further. That would be a huge leap for Armand because of the ways that he’s committed to and indebted to Louis because of what happened in Paris, and it makes sense to me that he wouldn’t be able to make that leap. Especially if Daniel’s addiction issues ends up transferring to vampire blood. The question of “do you really love me or do you just want to drink from me?” Is such a great doubt for a vampire to have, and I can see it really plaguing Armand, enough for him to not want to turn Daniel. I also hope we get him just in general not wanting to make fledglings because it feels like passing on a curse, and wanting to protect Daniel from the hellish parts of vampire existence by keeping him human. (I wonder if we’ll also see some kind of evolution in Louis and Armand’s relationship that will make it easier for Armand to recommit to Louis. Some kind of demonstration by Louis that he would pick Armand over Lestat if he had a choice? Something else? I’m not sure).

- I do think Daniel asking for the memory wipe himself is the most dramatically satisfying way for it to happen. Daniel being desperate for immortality, and despondent at the fact that Armand won’t turn him, and choosing to forget him instead is just so good. Especially if Armand acquiesces because he can see that his and Daniel’s connection is hurting Daniel and affecting Daniel’s mental health. It would fit with the way that Armand puts all of his partners before himself, because Armand would erase Daniel’s memory to save him, at the expense of his own broken heart. And that broken heart would explain the vacillating coldness and bitterness and affection he treats Daniel with in Dubai. And it would be an incredibly difficult realization for Dubai Daniel to have, that the person he initially thought was a monster because he committed this violation of his mind actually did so at Daniel’s own behest. This would fit with something that Eric mentioned in an interview, that Daniel realizes that he has fucked up two marriages because of the things that went down with the vampires that he cannot remember. What if the reason he could never be happily married was that he was never fully over Armand, even if he didn’t realize it? Heartbreaking. Juicy. The stuff of good drama! This is the other reason I keep reassuring myself that something romantic did happen between Daniel and Armand in the past. It changes the Dubai dynamics in ways that are simply too rich to ignore.

- I also do suspect that season 2 is gonna end with modern day Louis and Lestat being reunited. Lestat has to be around to narrate season 3 after all, and we have that tiny clip of the Loustat hug that feels modern. I’m really excited about that! But my heart breaks for Armand in that case, and I just… really hope that Daniel could be Armand’s safe place to land if Louis ends up leaving him at the end of the season.

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

I was exactly halfway into my second pregnancy, and up until that point, we were so ecstatic to be expecting again — a baby we’d been praying for. We kept talking about and imagining the joy it would be to bring our new baby home to meet our 2-year-old daughter. But at my 20-week ultrasound, a day that is supposed to be full of excitement and awe, we received devastating news. Our baby, a second daughter, had many severe and insurmountable skeletal and organ issues. Fetal specialists told us that it was extremely unlikely she could survive because all her major organ systems had significant development issues. We were blindsided and heartbroken, and yet somehow clear-minded. We chose to do what we believed was best for our unborn daughter as well as for our family; because that is what you do as parents. And we saw the choice we ultimately made as an act of love for her. We respect and honor that other parents have chosen — and will continue to choose — the only other option our doctor suggested to us — to let the pregnancy take its natural course and provide specialist or palliative care as needed. And that is the point. Individuals and their families — no matter where they happen to live — must be able to make the best choice for them. They need to be free to choose their own act of love. I believe now more than ever that anyone’s reason for seeking an abortion is valid. Who are we to say it isn’t? What we didn’t know when we made our decision was that in addition to being so difficult emotionally, it would be made so much worse by the abortion bans recently enacted in Idaho. Because of these cruel laws, my Idaho doctors could not provide me with an abortion — something they could easily have done before Roe v. Wade was overturned — in my own community supported by family and friends. We had to spend the following days cold-calling countless clinics in nearby states where abortion is still legal, but found out that because of all the other new abortion bans in states across the country, many clinics had closed, most had no open appointments for several weeks, and still others considered my pregnancy, at 20 weeks, too far along for me to receive care. The thought of waiting out this pregnancy, possibly for weeks, or however long, while trying to get through the day working as a chiropractor and still being active and present for our toddler was more than I could handle. All I could think about was whether the daughter I was carrying was already suffering; my anxiety and sadness were overwhelming. We both felt hopeless and heartbroken until we reached a Seattle clinic with a last-minute cancellation. Although relieved, there was so much we had to do to get there in the haze of our grief. There were flights to make, hotels to book, a car to rent and medical care our health insurance would not cover because we were going out of state to access and receive it. One of the most tragic — and degrading — parts of our situation was knowing that people in my home state of Idaho believe this is acceptable, denying me bodily autonomy. We will always be grateful to the clinic and team in Seattle for offering us professional, compassionate care. I am a person of faith and for months after my abortion, I kept telling Brandon there had to be something positive that would come out of this experience. Several months later, I learned that the Center for Reproductive Rights was putting together a challenge to Idaho’s abortion laws, and I knew immediately that moving forward as a plaintiff in the case was something I had to do. I’m proud to be one of the many women and doctors challenging and broadening these laws. Physicians in Idaho must have greater discretion over when abortion exceptions are warranted, and the decision should be the patient’s in consultation with their doctors.

[jellieland]

One hour and thirty-seven minutes.

That's ages, isn't it? Or is it no time at all?

---

For the first seven minutes, he paces in uneven circles around spawn.

"Happy with that, are ya?" He yells at the sky, laughing. "I know I am! How's that for a show, eh?"

He stalks around, eyes burning red, as though he is hunting someone. He is not quite sure who, and he doesn't have the presence of mind to question it right now, because all he knows in this moment is that he needs to keep going and he needs to keep his sword in his hand.

It takes him a while to realize his hands are shaking.

That'd be the adrenaline, supplies a vague thought in the back of his mind.

He goes past the lava he placed that killed Scott, and pauses for a moment, and pulls out his empty bucket.

He holds it. He looks into it, as though he can fill it back up just by looking.

His hands are still shaking.

He drops it, and it burns into nothing, and then he keeps pacing until he looks down and realizes that he has tracked Impulse's blood across the grass and the stone, and then he stumbles, and then he stops.

---

He stares out across the forest for just under twenty minutes.

Blood drips slowly down his sword. The puddle of red at his feet grows. At least, he thinks it does.

He doesn't move.

There's no point.

---

For the next eight minutes, noise buzzes in his ears. Familiar whispers and disapproval and judgement that fracture the air around them.

He ignores it, for a while.

You can't ignore them forever, though. Or, at least- he's never been able to.

Eventually it's always too much.

It's one particular comment that's the final straw.

"Are you stupid? Of course I cared!" He snaps suddenly, face twisting into resentment as he jerks back to movement. "But it was Mean Gills! Mean! The clue was in the name, in case you didn't notice that little tidbit!"

Another deep murmur.

"Yes, I know I came up with the name. But he agreed to it, didn't he? He knew what he was getting into!" And he keeps talking, voice suddenly light, refusing to entertain a response. "Although speaking of, the TIE lot seemed to like the idea of TIME and SMITE, huh?"

He snorts.

"You know, I think that's probably my main takeaway from this one- turns out you can get past a surprising amount of bad blood if you just offer up a catchy team name! Who would've thought?"

Reality shivers once more.

"Yeah, no, of course it was! I don't think there was really anything else important that happened this time. Team names were definitely the main thing I had to worry about. Why, did you notice something I missed?"

The world shatters, a little bit.

He winces slightly but recovers quickly, putting his easy, practiced grin back on. "Well thank you, thank you." He makes a show of looking around, then catches the blood on the floor in the corner of his eye, and turns back abruptly to stare over the forest. "I'm glad someone congratulated me, at least. Everyone else seems to have found better things to do, am I right?"

He sighs and shakes his head, jokingly exasperated. "This is just like my birthday party."

The air hums, once more.

Again, his expression falters for a moment. "Right." He says. "Well, it's about time, to be honest. Can't imagine pestering me is very interesting anymore." He shrugs. "And hey, wouldn't mind five minutes peace on my end either."

They have stopped talking.

---

He does not.

He doesn't stop talking for the next minute and a half.

"Hey, It'll be just like the old times back in double life! You, silently observing me because you don't want to talk to me this time for some reason, me, lying in a broken heart, kind of glad that I don't have to decide whether to be grateful that someone wants to talk to me even when it's you..."

He trails off.

"Even- even when it's you."

He makes an aborted movement to take a step, then stops.

"Winner." He shakes his head in a kind of amused condescension. "You'd think that out of everyone, they would know I'm not the winner."

He frowns. "Don't know why we even still call it that. Unless... no. There's no way."

He looks up at the sky. "You know I'm not the winner, right? There was never going to be a winner." He holds out his arms as if to make himself a target, and laughs, long and loud. "What, you're not seriously telling me none of you noticed?"

He steps back, craning his neck further. The brightness of the sun makes his head pound, makes his eyes burn.

"There is no winner. What there is, is the last one to lose. And hey, HERE I AM!" He spins around, grinning up at the sky. And if that grin is still a little manic... well. Who's going to say anything about it now? "ISN'T IT GREAT?"

And then he stumbles, dizzy, and falls, narrowly missing the lava, and there is blood on his hands there is blood on his hands it's still red it's only been thirty-six minutes.

"Isn't it great." He- it isn't a whimper. It's just- quiet.

He stares down at the ground.

"This is what I wanted." He whispers.

---

He stays there for five minutes.

---

Eventually, he gets up again, because that's that he always does. And for the next thirty-two minutes, he wanders.

"Well. Now what, huh?" He murmurs. "The eternal question. Guess I'm lucky not to have to worry about it for too much longer, this time."

He leaves his sword on the ground where he fell, and he walks away.

He doesn't wipe the blood off his hands. It feels... well. He just doesn't want to. That's all. He'll be dead soon enough anyway.

At first he heads towards the Mean Gills base. In fact, he gets all the way to the shoreline before he stops.

He doesn't want to go in the water.

What does he think he's looking for there, anyway? Everything he would have been hoping to find is gone.

The TIES tower is right there, and he wanders vaguely towards it, but - well. That's just a non-starter. He doesn't care about TIES, and he never did, and they should've known that. They should've all known that, and it's not his fault that Impulse- or, uh, Etho, or Tango- didn't. It's not his fault. It's not.

He doesn't care about them anyway, so either way it doesn't matter.

Anyway, they betrayed Scott, and if Martyn has stood for anything this time, it's that anyone who betrays Scott is going to live - or die! - to regret it. Die, if he has anything to say about it.

"No-one gets off Scott-free." He says out loud, and snorts. "Ok, that's not a bad one, but it sounds way more like an innuendo than I meant it to."

A beat passes.

"Pretty sure Scott would be fine with that, though."

...Scott would be fine with this. Right?

Scott would be fine with this. He would. He would. Martyn knows he would, has proof in the form of a memory of driving a sword through his ally's chest just over there, look, he can see where it happened, it was honestly in a pretty unremarkable spot, but he knows exactly where it is, he remembers it perfectly-

Martyn knows he would, and he also knows that it doesn't matter at all, because even if Scott had not been fine with it, he still would've done it.

Next, he heads towards the mansion.

He stands at the bottom. There's a lot of water here, too.

It felt good to kill people. It always did. Almost always, anyway. He's pretty sure they all agreed on that.

There's really something satisfying about ripping things apart. It makes those last thirty minutes taste that little bit sweeter.

(he kind of gets it, is the thing. how good it feels to drink in someone else's pain and panic, to pour it back into your own glass of pain and panic, filling it back up at least a little. that's not something he's saying even to himself, though.)

Maybe it's something about feeling like you're breaking things without actually damaging anything that wasn't put there to be damaged.

Without actually saying no, and letting someone else take from your cup when it's already empty, and has been for a while, now.

But there's nothing to rip apart, anymore, except himself.

He wonders if this is how Joel felt, when Jimmy died.

...Nah. Probably not.

He wanders through the forest for a while, at that point.

He considers, briefly, heading back to his original hourglass. That's already pretty much destroyed, though, and there's nothing there for him anyway.

He could head out past the mansion, into what is essentially wilderness.

That feels a bit too much like a fresh start for his taste, though. Nothing about this is a start. No point in pretending on that front.

He doesn't even entertain the idea of the Nosy Neighbours' tower. He tries not to look towards it.

Eventually, really, it seems obvious.

He ends up on the ground, outside the clock tower.

---

He sits there for five minutes, leaning up against the tower, to the right of the crater where Jimmy died.

"You three really committed in the end, didn't you?" He says. "Colour me surprised, honestly. That's one lack of a betrayal nobody saw coming at the start. Two of the most notoriously untrustworthy people on the server, and Cleo." He laughs. "Pretty sure you'd agree it doesn't really sound like the recipe for a happy family. Just goes to show, I guess."

He pauses.

"...Didn't get you to the end, though. Did it?"

He shifts slightly, frowning, and is quiet for a while.

"You realize you could get so much more done if you just stopped caring, right?" He asks.

"That's what I did." He lies. "It's much easier."

He stares out at the ocean and doesn't look over at spawn on his left.

All at once, he feels the urge to stand up.

He doesn't. Not yet. Maybe not ever again.

"I could jump off this tower, you know." He says. "But Grian already did that one. So I can't."

He shrugs. "I guess he didn't really have the option of just waiting it out, huh? Even if he did, can't really hold it against him. I get it."

He's silent for a while.

"Not much left to see. Is there?"

---

Eventually the ghost of that frantic energy grips him again, and keeps hold of him for slightly less than sixteen minutes. He wants to pace, he wants to stab something, he wants to do anything, anything at all except sit here and feel himself slowly crack open, because if he did that then he wouldn't be able to keep everything from spilling out.

He gets up, and just sort of stands there, whole body tense.

Why did he leave his sword behind? Why did he do that, he could've at least gone looking for some mobs to kill, and then maybe he could've been killing things when he died- that would've been nice, in a sick sort of way, but-

He does still have an axe, though.

He could still do that.

He lurches forward as soon as the decision is made. Before he's even really thought about it, he dives into the river and scrambles out of the other side into the forest. He curls his hands into fists in the mud, so they're still dirty, so nothing has changed really, so it's fine, and after he takes in a couple of breaths that sound desperate - which is because he was just underwater, so he was holding his breath, that's why, that's why - he forces himself to get up, and he staggers into the darkness of the forest and please, he just wants something to hit, come on.

A zombie lurches out from behind a tree and he almost sobs with relief, and he slashes at it with his axe once, twice, three times, and it falls, and he remembers why he usually uses a sword but at least he didn't behead it, he guesses, but it doesn't help, and then a skeleton shoots him in the back, and yeah, ok, that's probably fair at this point, and he fights.

And he keeps fighting.

And it doesn't help.

It doesn't do anything.

It never does anything, and if he had somehow died here, fighting mobs, alone, before anything else had happened, before Scott, before Cleo, before Ren, nothing would really be different.

After a while, he takes a breath and it hitches, and that's when he realizes he's crying.

He growls, and he hurls the axe away, and he runs.

---

He has three minutes left, and he is running through the forest alone, breathing unsteady and frantic, panic crawling up through his lungs.

It reminds him of last life, except this time there aren't any otherworldly voices taunting him. This time there isn't a Ren for him to run towards. This time he didn't even pretend to believe the lie that he might be able to save anyone. That he might be able to save himself.

He doesn't know where he's going.

He doesn't think it matters.

He doesn't think it ever has.

He gets to the edge of the forest, and staggers to a stop.

It's the edge of the ocean.

He can see his hourglass from here.

If he was in the mood for it, he'd probably say that was poetic.

Right now, he can't quite muster any poetry, though.

All he can do is look at it, and think-

This is it.

This is all it is.

This is it forever.

"I wish it wasn't like this." He says, and it's less a wish, really, and more of a reminder.

His countdown ends.

And next time, in one form or another, it will begin again.

[silverjirachi]

I think you “i’m voting with my conscience” and “I’m not voting because they’re the same” fucks keep forgetting that the US president will be allowed to stack the supreme court. Do you know what happens in the supreme court? They directly determine the interpretation of our constitution. You know. The only thing your rights are actually codified in and determines how our entire country is governed. The Supreme Court legalized gay marriage in this country. The Supreme Court overturned Roe V Wade. The Supreme Court both ratified Prohibition in this country and ended it. The Supreme Court officers serve for life and there are only nine of those fuckers. Nine. Nine people who have been appointed by past presidents are the ones making huge decisions on the direction this country goes in. Remember when Ruth Bader Ginsburg died? You know. One of the only staunchly left justices on the court? Roe v. Wade got overturned because trump was allowed to appoint a new anti abortion justice. That happened in BIDEN’S presidency because TRUMP was allowed to influence it. Biden had absolutely no say into what happened in that decision. Nine. Nine people who are getting increasingly right wing keep getting to determine whether or not our foundational rights that built this country should be followed or not.

You do not want Trump to be allowed to appoint another justice to the supreme court. MORE of your rights will go away, and abortion bans will get harsher. Trump and his goons are rather openly admitting that they want to degrade justice in this country and appoint trump into more of a dictator figure and you know how they’re gonna be able to actually degrade justice? The Supreme Court. And the Senate. That’s why it’s important to vote in every election because even if the Supreme Court goes off the shits, at least we will maybe have the Senate to hold down the fort.

We were all directly impacted by something Trump was allowed to do at the end of his term during Biden’s one. That WILL get worse.

They are not the same. I am not arguing with people about this. Not voting against Trump is the morally wrong thing to do and is a direct threat to you and this country. If you try to argue with me or anyone in the notes about how you should be an exception, you will be blocked, because you are directly threatening my safety and the safety of millions of others both here and abroad. This is not a debate.

[sniigura-archive]

Adam x Reader x Mammon AU anon again.

You: You should be writing fic instead of me anon!

Also You: *Expands upon my idea in ways I didn't think of and once again proving to me you're an amazing writer <3*

READER GETTING PREGNANT TERTGDFTHYFGTHFV YESSSSS

I feel like Reader would refuse to find out who the father is cuz she KNOWS it would be a shitshow with these two either way (one claiming "ownership" of her and the kid and the other making her life miserable because of it), so as such Adam and Mammon are both the Dad That Stepped Up(tm).

They def fight over whether or not Reader should get an abortion early on (neither of them believe in women having agency over their bodies *sobs*). Adam's so offended cuz he doesn't believe in abortion and is like "how could you suggest murdering my baby????" and Mammon's like "it's a clump of cells and I can't have a pregnant bitch riding a pole" he needs Reader back to work asap. Reader decides on her own to keep it ONLY if they promise to not make her life hell for it (or else bye bye snu snu). Mammon begrudgingly gives her paid leave and Adam begrudgingly accepts that Reader is keeping her job.

When the baby comes the men def both spoil the shit out of them. Adam happily offers to babysit/help out with anything no questions asked, Mammon gives Reader all the money she needs and more for the baby and buying the kid all the best toys and clothes. Reader has the main authority on how the kid will be raised (she does not want her kid to end up like either of them lmao) and the boys just gotta accept it like Yes Ma'am.

WAHHH THANK UU but if you ever need help to like brain storm stuff for a fanfic im your man my dms are always open for that i love going through ideas so much RAHHH

mammon: i can’t have a pregnant bitch riding the pole

adam: why not? pregnant bitches are hot as fuck

reader fighting off pregnancy nausea: can you both leave now pls

reader is so done with these sexists guys 😭 she’s aware that technically she doesn’t need them and she can just leave for another city. she has made enough good financial decisions to make her be able to live a comfortable life with her child with no problems

reader says neither of them will be the father and then they’re like „who else were you fucking 🤨🤨🤨“ NO ONE YOURE JUSZ ANNOYING!!!! reader is lucky the baby is her carbon copy other wise both of them would throw hands with each other

adam probably says it’s his since she has been with mammon for longer and all it takes is one night with him to get knocked up because he’s just that good

i think it’d be interesting once reader is too far along to continue working at the club if that’s when glitz and glam make an appearance. they really want to steal that spot of being favourites with all the benefits. they’re very willing to fill in all the spots. mammon considers it for a hot sec but then he visits reader and is pissed the fuck off that he actually genuinely likes reader. the realisation hits him like a truck

adam and mammon refuse to acknowledge that they’re basically in a poly relationship now with you. they get along surprisingly well as long as the topic isn’t you and the baby. as soon as it’s about you and the baby they remember they are Sworn Enemies

but it also gets very annoying for reader when they agree on something because they’re soo stubborn 😭 poor woman. should have moved away lmaoo

THEM AS DADS!!! precious as fuck. imagine if it’s a girl shishsjs girl dads…….little girl who looks like reader so she has wrapped them around her finger. who can say no to such a cute face 😔

[dr-futbol-blog]

Poisoning the Well

Poisoning the Well (S01E07) is a Beckett-centric episode so we get less interaction between Sheppard and McKay.

It is noticeable at the very outset, though, that they are getting to know each other pretty well. Sheppard is able to communicate a complex idea (this culture is clearly more primitive than ours but they are so proud of their accomplishments and we are trying to make friends so you need to curb your need to be right and just go with it) to McKay just by saying his name using a certain voice. Sheppard has his back turned so his tone of voice is actually the only cue McKay gets. This suggests familiarity.

However, it's actually more striking that McKay actually seems to understand John's meaning. Just in the previous episode, Childhood's End (S01E06) McKay seemed unable to understand that when someone asks whether he has chocolate on him, they actually want to have some. That is, he has trouble understanding social cues and interprets things very literally which is on par with fictive representations of geniuses.

This tells us two things: 1) Sheppard has observed McKay enough to be able to anticipate what he's going to do (cf. previous episode for Sheppard keeping a keen eye on everything Rodney does) and 2) McKay must be trying really hard to understand Sheppard, which is something he would not normally bother doing.

Further, Sheppard keeps exhibiting signs of attraction. He seems to sense McKay's movement behind him (physical awareness), his eyes automatically go to him, he aborts the movement once he catches himself but then looks anyway because it would be silly to keep himself from looking at his entirely platonic team member.

Also, McKay places himself close enough to touch and not only does not John pull away, he pushes back into him (accidentally-on-purpose-touches).

He glances at McKay when he thinks that he's not looking:

In the episode, we are once more reminded of the importance of looks and subtextual information carried therein with this exchange:

Weir: Major, have you made any progress with your prisoner? Sheppard: Well, not yet, but he just blinked. McKay: He blinked? What does that mean? Sheppard: It means he's still holding on but he's indicated to me that he may break soon. McKay: And he indicated this to you by ... blinking? Sheppard: Yes.

The episode also marks the start of Sheppard antagonizing the wraith by giving them human names. He later names Todd after a pale guy a knew in college which makes one wonder if all the names he comes up with are from people of his past. One would venture that he would give the wraith names of people he didn't particularly like but then, there is this strange erotic undertone to his taunting of the wraith. Could the sources of the names be exes or former crushes?

Further, when they're walking side by side, Sheppard actually turns his entire body toward McKay:

Also, while the licking-his-lip thing seems to be a nervous tick, something that Sheppard does when he's not sure what to say or to deal with some emotion (here, McKay reminds him that he's the one responsible for waking the wraith), he does it twice here in very short order. One of them was wraith-related, the other was purely McKay-related.

Also notable: John clearly blames himself for waking the wraith, and he could easily have interpreted the look McKay throws at him when the topic comes up as blaming him. But once alone, McKay actually tries to alleviate Sheppard's obvious guilt with "You haven't told them that we practically woke the Wraith from hibernation, have you?"

For a socially inept dude he certainly is able to pass as a human being for this man and this man only.

Also, this exchange:

McKay: Reminds you of Area 51, doesn't it? Sheppard: Circa 1918. Ford: I don't think Area 51 was around in 1918, sir. Sheppard: Well, the area was.

Commenting on a topic that you hope will interest your crush. Teasing reply. Someone else jives in, you do a complete 180 to defend the comment of your would-be boo. This is textbook stuff.

There's innuendo in Sheppard's "Weapons come in all shapes and sizes, lieutenant," especially as it is paired with a shot of a phallic vial being handed to him with a suggestive look from the chancellor with a drawled "Major Sheppard, I think you'll find this intriguing."

Through Sheppard and McKay's discussion with Beckett on the planet, we establish that when someone is not a part of the military, Sheppard can't give them commands. For some reason we, as the audience, really needed to be reminded of that during this time.

This episode also marks the start of several references to Star Trek. It's actually Sheppard that brings it up with "He's worse than McCoy!" completely unprompted, albeit Rodney seems to catch the reference right away. Over the seasons we see further examples of Sheppard revealing what a complete and utter geek he is where McKay just keeps not noticing this fact in spite of their frequent geeky conversations. Also, since Beckett is Bones, and McKay thinks that Sheppard is Kirk, although it is never mentioned, that probably would make McKay Spock. Kirk and Spock being the OG sci-fi television relationship with homoerotic undertones, which were also more or less confirmed by the creators.

According to creator Gene Rodenberry, "I definitely designed it as a love relationship. And I hope that for men… who have been afraid of such relationships… that they [Spock and Kirk] would encourage them to be able to feel love and affection, true affection… love, friendship and deep respect. That was the relationship I tried to draw. I think I also tried to draw a feeling of belief that very few of us are complete unto ourselves. It’s quite a lovely thing… where two halves make a whole."

The introduction of Perna is interesting. When she arrives, Sheppard's gaze first completely slides over her, finding the back of Beckett's head to be more interesting. But a polite fellow, he introduces himself in response to her introduction with a polite smile, then turning to introduce his team and when he's about the introduce McKay, Beckett chimes in, obviously captivated by her.

He's looking at her intensely, starts macking right away. And it's only then that Rodney jumps in with what can only be described as a need to compete with Beckett for the attention of the lady. And John seems pleased as a peach when the Hoffan scientist only seems to have eyes for Beckett.

They are in contrast. Sheppard is uninterested. Beckett is immediately and completely taken. McKay's interest is perfunctory. The pretty lady is the trophy of a competition that he just lost.

Perna and Beckett get real close, real fast working side by side together. While this is obvious to the audience, since it is taking place between a man and a woman, the romantic nature of their relationship isn't actually explicitly stated. It is played out through gazes, positioning, intimacy of their rapport. We naturally read this as romance. Everything that takes place between them also takes places between Sheppard and McKay, only spread over several episodes. It's funny how that is.

[henneseyhoe]

You deserve it.

Keith Powers x BLACK!FEM!reader

WARNINGS: rough sex, orgasm denial, SUB!keith, DOM!reader, overstimulation, no protection(wrap it df up, abortions are expensive), light choking, short, no plot.

Ps. I cannot see this man dominating me like idk lmfao. Also I said I wanted to see more fics where the males are submissive so imma be the one to get the ball REALLY rollin! This only the beginning of the nasty shit I be writing but I gotta test the waters first lmfao.

✮✮✮✮

“Can I please cum?” He begged, his brown freckled face stained with warm tears from the immense pain and pleasure he had endured for the passed 30 minutes. His hips were bucking weakly, and his thighs were burning with tire as he fought off the urge to cum all over the woman’s hands. She had him kneeling in between her legs on their shared bed with his arms restrained behind his back, forcing him to get the pleasure of staring at her wet pussy, but not being able to touch or taste as she jerked his dick at any pace she pleased.

She felt his dick twitch twice in her hand, making her slow down her strokes and focus on the base of his dick, moving her hand up and down, but avoiding his tip to make sure he didn’t bust before she wanted him to. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you fuckin’ cum yet” she spoke in a dominant tone. Though the way she reiterated her demands were aggressive, but all he heard was the sounds of his erratic breathing in his ears. the grip she had around his dick told him not to fuck with her, and do what she said. He complied. That grip told him she definitely meant what she said too. He only replied back in whimpers, his bruised hips attempting to back away from the woman’s movements. “Stop moving” she demanded, shifting herself to sit up and grab the boy by his throat, gripping tightly.

This could have been enough to make him bust all over her, staining her navy blue thong with loads of his essence, but he knew there would be hell to pay if he chose to let loose just yet. With a slacked jaw, he attempted to stop running from the overstimulation, but every time her fingers grazed over his sensitive tip, he couldn’t help but to groan out loud, pulling at the belt that bound his hands and arms behind his back.

She loved seeing him this way. All the work she put in to break him into the sub he should have been from the start, he deserved everything she gave him for being so damn difficult. To be fair, he had never thought he’d be in this position. Kneeling before someone who had considered herself superior as she did what she wanted to him, whether it pleasured him or not was up to her. He had his moments where he wanted to take control for once and fight back, but he’d always end up on the bottom again.

But what could he say? The woman was persuasive, and she maneuvered like a camouflaged snake, smooth and seamless. She was baby oil slick. She was so convincing that she could probably sell water to a fish, or maybe venom to a cobra.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes, ma’am! Please…” he shouted, his voice going back down to a whisper as it cracked from lack of moisture in his throat. he swallowed and took a deep breath, bracing himself.

“You can’t, baby” she shook her head and pouted.

“I want to”

“You can’t” she cooed.

He threw his head backwards and whined, his abs tightening as he fought off his release. “Please? please, lemme cum? I promise I’ll do whatever else you want me to do” He begged, his demeanor gradually softening. he felt humiliated by how he’d have to ask to do things other men would willingly do without asking their partner. Some wouldn’t even care if their lovers finished after the fact.

Keith, on the other hand, didn’t have that privilege. If she didn’t finish, then neither did he. If he finishes and she doesn’t, then she’ll keep going till she does, and maybe even long after that if she feels like it.

“You said that last time. That’s not enough” she shook her head.

“Please, please, please!” he begged and whined, his head jerking and throwing back with every electrifying touch.

-

“You love this pussy, baby?”

“I love this pussy” his low lidded eyes sparkled at the sight of her.

“You fuckin’ love this pussy” she moaned, nodding.

“I fuckin love this pussy” He repeats before his jaw drops and his head falls back into the pillows. She rode him like a wild stallion, her hips wildly bucking and swiveling on top of him. He had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill onto his cheeks once again.

“You like it when I use you, baby? Huh?”

“Yes” he struggled to say through clenched teeth, her hands now back on his throat, restricting him from normal airflow. Her head tilted slightly with a look forming on her face, showing disapproval. His response was informal.

“Yes what?” she pressed, purposely clenching her pussy around him tighter just to see the look on his face.

“Yes—yes ma’am” he breathed, trying with all his might to not touch the woman. His hands were untied by now and all he wanted to do was burry himself inside of her with his own pace that wasn’t aimed to tease.

“Yeah, you love it when I use you like the slut you are, hm?”

He nods, his eyes rolling back into his skull as his chest reached for the heavens, his back arched as far as it would go. He gripped the sheets with his hands, the veins in his fists becoming more prominent. He felt like his soul was being pulled directly out of his body. He had never felt a more exhilarating sensation in any of his prior relationships.

“Go ahead and cum, baby. I feel it. You deserve it” his face was hopeful, lighting up with those words repeating in his head.

“I deserve it?” He asks for reassurance, not fully believing it wasn’t a trick since she loved to play with his feelings, and often.

“You deserve it”

[hotheadedhero]

Crushing New Dreams

AN: I didn't know if I was going to be able to make a Mikey angst as heartbreaking as what I've got lined up for the other turtles but, you know what? I think I managed just that and it might be angstier than all of them. For the record, I won't blame you for hating me after this one because it's a doozy

All characters are aged up

Michelangelo x Reader

Warnings: mentions of sex, broken hearts, prospect of death, abortion, angst

In the two years that you and Michelangelo have been together, you have never made a point of being safe in the bedroom. You can’t say that either of you airs on the side of caution when it comes to such things. One may call it reckless but in your time as an established couple, you’ve both agreed that condoms don’t feel that great. 

Then, the reward of your shared recklessness bestowed itself in the form of a late period and constant nausea. It took a week until you felt the need to take a test and the quick reveal of that first line left you in quiet shock for the remainder of that hour. You and Mikey had never talked much about having kids or when you would want them but you find yourself liking the idea of a family. Whether he wants the same or not is a mystery. There’s only one way to find out.

You text him on your way to the lair, mildly hinting at having some news for him. It isn’t a long walk but one that seems to drag out with every press of your heel along the sewer floors. Assuming the worst isn’t a common occurrence but you can’t help feeling as though something about this is going to go wrong. What if he isn’t ready for this kind of commitment? Would it be too much pressure and ultimately scare him away? Breathe. You remind yourself to just breathe and avoid jumping to negative conclusions. 

Only when you’re standing in front of him do you realise that this is going to be a lot more difficult than you initially anticipated. Your tongue suddenly feels like a foreign object in your mouth and you stammer quietly whilst you try to find your words. Luckily, Mikey is remarkably patient when it comes to your nerves and gently encourages you to keep trying, ensuring you that everything is fine. Had you not alluded to this matter revolving around your amazing sex life with a bashful smile, he might have been worried that you came here to break up with him. With every awkward attempt to explain the situation, he brings the pieces together on his own accord. You barely even utter the word ‘pregnant’ before he has you lifted from the ground, arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“You for real?!” he asks and the excitement is so clear, so present that all you can do is smile and nod. “I’m gonna be a dad!”

The world melds into a blur as he whirls you both around, flits of joy barrelling so loudly from your mouths that his family surely must hear. When he returns you to your feet, he dashes out to let them know that they’re going to be uncles. Those doubts from before are more than a memory, seizing to exist entirely as you listen to the elated voices from inside Mikey’s room. Raphael makes a comment about needing all the luck you can get with their youngest brother becoming a father but you know he means well in his own way. Soon after, you decide to join them. The lit-up faces remarking their congratulations set a cozy warmth around your heart and you couldn’t feel luckier. It starts to beat erratically, however, and you resort to holding the back of the couch to steady yourself. 

 “You okay, sweetness?" Mikey waringly asks.

To ease his concern, you laugh, albeit breathlessly, "Yeah, sorry, just got a little dizzy there.” Your smile slowly crumbles away with a frown and you squint up. “Are the lights getting brighter?”

No more than a second later, your legs give and he’s quick to catch your sudden rag doll of a body. Whilst he hoists you up into his grasp, each turtle kicks into gear to get anything you may need: water, pillows, a cold compress for your spiked temperature. It all goes by in a slowed daze, the mixed turbulence fading in and out like discord. You’re lain on the sofa, shallowly breathing amidst the force of an invisible tide. Ghosts have never achieved such a pale appearance. Just barely, you make out the orange of your boyfriend's mask as he looks over you, pathetically stroking the top of your head. He doesn’t know what else to do. Donatello suggests conducting a test or two and it’s in your best interest to allow him, though the process hardly registers in your condition.

By the time he’s examining the blood sample, you’ve managed to collect yourself enough to sit upright. Whatever that was must have been a fleeting incursion but still sets air to worry. It could be a standard symptom of early pregnancy. You have half a mind to rapidly research it yourself but the internet often carries its fair share of filled with worst-case scenarios. After a quick assurance of your well-being, you urge Mikey to follow you into his brother’s stated chunk of the lair. He sits bent over his microscope, muttering nonsensicals under his breath.

“What’s the verdict, D?”

"Not good," he admits quietly, afraid to speak further but dutifully having to. "Where genetics are concerned, I'm afraid this isn't going to work." He turns on his chair to face you both directly but it’s a struggle. His inability to look either of you in the eye only makes his words hit that much harder. "Not only is there a conflict of interest between your respective species but there are also the mutagenic properties of Michelangelo's DNA to consider."

"What does that mean exactly?" you unhurriedly inquire, too scared to ask at all but in need of an answer.

Donnie removes his glasses and his forearms lay slack over his thighs. "It means that either the baby is going to die soon or it'll grow inside you long enough that you…” He swallows. “You’ll both die."

Even now, he refuses to put his glasses back on. He can already imagine the look on your faces, how pale and broken they must be. He doesn't need to see them, especially when you choke out a sob, bite back a cry, before rushing to the nearest clearing to vomit. The feet of his youngest brother smack into the floor like gunshots as he chases after you and your wails of agony echo throughout the lair for everyone else to hear, sullying the laughter that passed them just moments ago. A series of short-paced refusals is all that sputters and repeats from your trembling lips. Your lungs stagger, stopping some seconds, only to reboot when you need air again. Sob after sob of unbridled misery from your person punches Michelangelo down, stripping him of his optimism bit by bit. There’s no way around it. Either route, death is involved. Lord knows you want to bargain, seek a deeper exploration to see if there’s something - anything - that can be done to give hope but Donnie is rarely wrong if at all. 

A plan is made. A horrible, awful plan that you wish to be nothing more than a nightmare you can all wake from. It starts with Donatello forging a doctor's note that you can take to a clinic, so that you can get the abortion pills. The surgical method would be quicker and much less painful but then runs the risk of doctors investigating your mutant fetus and how it came to be. Unfortunately, your resident genius isn’t qualified for such a procedure otherwise he would do it himself. Despite your best efforts to refuse, April and Casey chip in on the costs to help you pay for the medication. In spite of everything, you can at least say that you have good friends by you. Next on the agenda would be to book time off work until, finally, the day arrives. You agree that the best location will be your place: somewhere familiar and more comfortable. The next series of events will be anything but.

For the eight hours that you are cradling your abdomen, changing your pads, throwing up, or incoherent from the painkillers, you are quiet. There's the occasional exchange when your boyfriend asks if you need anything but this much silence between the two of you is unfounded, unnatural. You can barely manage a soothing hand on your shoulder without your entire nervous system convulsing. As if this isn't difficult enough on its own, he can't even hold you and the moment you manage to fall asleep is when Mikey finally cries. He attempts to keep his mouth clamped shut, to not disturb you, but watching over your weary body is the last drop of water in the dam. The scummiest dirt on the Earth must seem like gold compared to him and what he's done to you. He knows what you’d say, what you’ve already said so many times - that this consequence is your shared responsibility but that isn’t fair. The fact that you are suffering this torment isn’t fair. His genetics are the predominant cause of this destruction within you. If he could, he would take your place in a heartbeat. 

Lost in his clouded shadow of self-bullying, he doesn’t notice you stirring beside him. Your hazy vision barely manages to make out the hunched body of your lover but his strife is ever-distinct. It’s only when he feels the delicate touch of your fingers on his arm that he snaps out of it. With an abrupt breath drawn, he lowers his widened gaze down at your sluggish self. Guilt trips him up for becoming so absorbed in himself. He forgot where he was for a moment.

His effort to divert with a grin is fruitless. “Sorry, angel-”

“No apologies.” You shush him with an index to his lips and weakly crawl into his lap. “You’re allowed to cry, too.”

His blood-shot eyes meet yours and it’s as though his blues have been stripped of their colour completely. “Look what I’ve done to you.”

“None of that, please,” you whisper, planting a soft kiss on one of his cheeks. The taste of tears coats the tip of your tongue and your thumbs do their best to wipe away what’s left on his face. “We could have never known that it would turn out like this, okay? This isn’t anyone’s fault. Besides, I’m starting to feel better. I reckon the worst of it’s out of the way now.”

Though exhausted, you smile and he returns one of his own as meek as it is. Sodden from the wretch of his downpour, you carefully push his mask off and let your hands ride over the back of his head. You pull him in until his face meets your shoulder. No longer hesitant of his touch, his arms clutch around you and he lets it all go without restraint, safe in your presence.

Much time will need to pass but things can only go up from here. You may not be able to have the family you recently discovered you yearned for but life always has its unique obstacles for each person and relationship. It just takes the will to overcome and know that when one door closes, another opens. After all, there are plenty of kids in the world in need of adoption, right?

[anamericangirl]

I think we should just pass a law that says that a fetus must always be referred to as "him/her" instead of "it." I can't help but notice every pro-choice or pro-abortion person on earth refers to unborn babies as "it" and I always think of those criminal psychology videos where the guy with the gruff voice says "They refer to her as 'my victim' because they're removing the humanity from the person they killed. They lack empathy for the human life they ended."

It's really fascinating to go through pro-choice blogs and see the pattern. They all refer to the fetus as "it."

"Abort IT"

"The choice to get rid of IT"

"Whether they want to keep IT or not"

Etcetera.

Imagine if all of them could remain pro-choice all they want, could get abortions all they want, but by law had to refer to the fetus as, when said out loud or in text, "him or her."

I feel like the number of pro-choicers would start to rapidly diminish if they were forced to refer to the fetus they're aborting as humanizing pronouns.

I totally agree that using “it” can definitely be dehumanizing language. You can kind of do it without thinking with how much it has seeped into society. I mean I’ve definitely done it before without even thinking because that was the language I heard and I had to make a conscious effort to stop.

But I for sure don’t think there should be a law that tells people what language to use. I don’t think compelled speech is ever a good idea or appropriate. And truthfully I don’t think there would be less pro-aborts, it would just be harder to tell who they were.

We need the people who have the bad ideologies and dehumanize others to be able to vocalize that so we know who they are.

Passing laws on what people can and cannot say never helps anything.

For people, like pro-aborts, who dehumanize others to justify murder and mistreatment, passing laws that dictate what language they are and aren’t allowed to use is not going to change their minds.

[joesalw]

All of Taylor's albums were tailored to the most popular aesthetic at the time. She didn't make shit popular, she just adapted. Especially when she made the transition into pop music.

True. She's currently jumping fences with rep as well. Making it out to be a goth punk moment and using trendy words like 'female rage'. The album has the most romantic songs she's ever written. C'mon now. The whole record is electropop with some R&B elements thrown into the mix.

She portrays 'Lover' as her social justice warrior era. 'If I was a man, then I'd be the man'. Yeah, we've seen it Taylor. Miss 'me becoming a billionaire is good for the world because I'm a woman'. She makes herself out to be this 'feminist girl's girl' when in reality it couldn't be further from the truth. She's not a feminist and she doesn't want to be the woman that's advocating for women's rights and leads the path for the future generation of women. She wants to be the man at the top. Her motto is literally 'gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, greenhouse gases'.

Another thing is her queer allyship. She's mentioned it when and only when it was profitable to her. During her tour she hadn't said a thing when the number of states signed anti-trans bills and the state of Tennessee where she says she lives *according to her own documentary* banned drag. I don't think she said anything about the anti-abortion legislation either. Her activist era started and ended in 2019.

Don't get me started on her position regarding the BLM movement. She only posted something because her own fans started calling her out and then declared that she's 'ferociously anti-racist'. She positioned herself as an advocate *by herself* and then immediately dipped when it stopped being as profitable. If you don't want to be dragged for your silence about social and political crises, don't proclaim yourself as an activist. Simple as that.

I've also seen the video on Youtube about TS being a narcissist (someone posted it on your blog earlier I think). And the guy in the video brought up her guitar teacher. So I looked him up and found an article where he talks about his experience with the Swifts which he got sued for later. According to the man, Taylor's mother was interested in him teaching her daughter how to play country music and was just a stage mom in general. And TS says that she'd been begging her parents to allow her learn how to play guitar and that she's self-taught. She wants her success story to be a rags to riches so bad I can't even.

She's a woman with an extremely fragile ego where millions of people could be praising her and a single negative comment would set her off. She can't handle any form of criticism, break ups or inconveniences like a grown woman simply because she doesn't have enough emotional intelligence to do so. Her being surrounded by yes men also doesn't help the situation. If i were her, I'd rather invest in a good therapist rather than 2 PJs. She drowns herself in work and relationships so she doesn't have time to go inwards and sit with her thoughts.

I kinda feel bad for her, honestly. She's been in the industry since she was 15 and her success was almost immediate. She doesn't know what the world's like because she's been sheltered her whole life and then had other people do things for her. I don't think she has many real friends as well. By real I mean people who aren't afraid to tell you the truth and are able to call you out in your face. Instead she has a bunch of people who appease her afraid of pissing her off and ending up on her bad side and as a result her vanity grows and she completely loses any sort of perspective whether in her friendships, romantic relationships or maybe even her own family.

I also wonder what she thinks about her fandom pirating her concert film instead of paying to rent it. I sort of hope that her fans are starting to wake up to her conning schemes. I mean, you've already made a shit ton of money from the theatre release, why charging 20$ more to RENT IT?Not even buy it. Or is it another narrative about how 'no one can own my work but me'?

This woman sells well but her cultural impact is almost nonexistent. She hadn't done any good for the world causes or inspired several generations of performers like Michael Jackson has with his philanthropic endeavors and incredible performing skills. The artists like Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Justin Timberlake (bleh) and The Weeknd were hugely influenced by MJ. These artist create their own unique legacy and impact on their communities. Especially the ladies. Gaga's been an avid LGBT+ advocate since the beginning of her career and created a foundation that focuses on issues like self-confidence, well-being, anti-bullying, mentoring and career development. She also participated in anti HIV and AIDS campaigns, spoke against immigration laws in the US, contributed to 2011's earthquake and tsunami relief campaign in Japan. Beyoncé's a huge advocate for the black community and black women especially which always finds its way in her work and visual art in particular. She's been platforming black culture and history for her whole career (2016 Superbowl and Coachella performance are the brightest examples of black american culture and releasing her Lion King album to showcase African artists' excellence). She also has a foundation where she provides black youth scholarships, clean water for communities abroad and housing to families in need in her home state.

What exactly makes Taylor Swift's cultural impact? Thousands of tons CO2 emissions? Music labels putting a clause in the contract so the artists can't re-record their material for 10 years now instead of 5? Making several versions of the same CD or vinyl so the sales are bigger? Mind you, that's all excessive plastic and paper. Some countries and US states are banning gas stoves. Her position regarding artists being paid during the early days of streaming (when the platforms were launching with a free period tial) was right but no one really benefited from it but her. She was shitting on Apple Music, then they offered her money, filmed an ad and released her 1989 Tour DVD exclusively on their platform. She shat on Spotify, then when LWYMMD came out, she was all over their biggest playlists all of a sudden and recorded Spotify Singles later on. Spotify's always promoted her every release like a motherfucker shoving her in every corner of the platform. Especially for the past 3 years. She doesn't have any memorable outfits or unique style to be called a fashion icon either. She's not a trailblazer she thinks she is. She is only popular because a lot of people *mostly ww* who peaked in high school see themselves in her. She's average in everything she does, her writing topes are also the same (only now she started using compound or uncommonly used words to mask it) but she's extremely commercially successful so that those people can see themselves in her. She doesn't have unique music style or chameleon-like discography like Gaga, Bey, MJ, Madonna, Shakira, Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus or Nelly Furtado. She doesn't have a unique singing voice like Bjork, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Janis Joplin, MJ or Bob Dylan. She's no instrument prodigy either. And swifties say that 'Michael couldn't play any instruments'. Well, he was an exceptional beatboxer. She can strum 4 guitar chords and play basic piano, that's it. She doesn't have an outstanding dancing and/or vocal skill.

What is she gonna be remembered for? Her numerous relationships with famous men? While that might be misogynistic or sexist to some degree, she's the one who makes her relationships the centre of her music and public persona and brings them up even 10 years after they ended. Her public feuds with men and women that she can't get over years after? This woman is certainly can hold a grudge and is extremely vindictive. The leader of a parasocial cult that blindly defends her bigotry? I believe so. I don't think I've ever seen a fandom as toxic and as hive-minded as swifties. And again, it's Taylor's own creation. She's the one that constantly says 'look closely for the easter eggs' in her content making her fans theorize on every aspect of her life, or 'if you're very loyal I might invite you to MY HOUSE and you can listen to the new album early, we'll take pics and I'll bake you some cookies'. Of course they'll follow your any order. I'm glad I escaped.

Oof, I'll stop here. That's a very long one already

sorry hehe

.

[balkanradfem]

I feel that any bad-faith argument about abortion needs to be turned into argument about quality and value of all life on earth. Because we are an intelligent species, and are capable of looking ahead and seeing the consequences of out actions.

For instance, we are living in a world with current ongoing wars, where certain people are given the orders to end thousands of lives, without any consequences or retributions. And yet this is not where pro-life is focusing their intent; apparently once babies grow up it's perfectly fine to gruesomely end those same lives in a genocide, or be starved to death during wars, that kind of thing just 'can't be helped'. But women can be pressured and guilted into birthing more babies, so apparently that's the way to go, sure way to increase the amount of suffering in the world.

But, you'll say, not all born babies will be killed off in wars (weird thing to say honestly), what about children who will live their lives safely and happily on this planet?

Well, tell me how?

Any child being born is going to experience the devastating effect of the climate change, they'll watch whole ecosystems collapse, animals going into extinction, and thousands of humans losing their homes and survival resources. They're being born into a misogynistic world, and if the child is female, she'll experience oppression that she won't even be able to prove is real to the male part of the population.

This child will grow up in the world where empathy is scarce, they'll be bombarded with news about human suffering almost every day, they're likely to come down with mental illness or at least feel that the future is bleak and brings more pain. They're also likely to fall victim to pedophiles, predators, and brainwashed boys who learned to sexually assault other kids due to the exposure of p*rn. Is pro-life trying to protect them from any of it? No. They're fighting to stop teaching them about puberty and what sex is, so once these traumatic things happen to them, they're unable to recognize them or speak about it.

But let's look into even more immediate effects of having a child born against their mother's consent. Once a baby is born, they're alive, but we all know that if they're not tended to, they'll die, experiencing nothing but pain. We always assume women will do this labour unprompted, but how can we assume this?

The forced mother, who is already traumatized from having to go trough forced birth, is likely both unwilling and without proper resources to care for a baby. The baby will feel this, they will know they're unloved. They'll know they're unwanted before they even grow up. As a solution to this, you suggest we blame and shame all mothers for not being good enough, for struggling with post-birth trauma or post-partum depression, for being unwilling to be a parent? You can't control what an unwilling mother does with her baby. You forced her to give birth but you can't do anything beyond that point.

Why did you do it? Why did you make sure a baby exists in a world where there is nobody who wants them, is willing to take care of them or give them a good life? What is it worth to you if there's another unwanted, unloved, suffering child out there? Does it make your life better if there's more human suffering? Do you fight for support of new mothers, for better healthcare, for better resources to take care of abandoned babies, for better institutions to take care of unwanted children? No. You feel entitled to women's unlimited labour and endless caretaking of children they don't want. You don't want to acknowledge it's undertaking of a huge scale, that requires endless resources, finances, complete exhaustion, loss of health, sleep, protection, sometimes education and career. It's nothing to you. Loss of quality of life, for everyone involved, means nothing to you.

As long as there is more human suffering. As long as mother didn't get any say over whether she'll become a mother or not, and how many times, and when. As long as her life was put at risk without her consent. As long as she was punished for something you consider she should be punished for.

And now I'm going to circle back to where I started, the war. Because mothers have to watch their children both go to war, risk their lives in war, and be killed in wars. After putting that endless amount of energy and resources to grow and raise a single child, they'll have to watch them go to slaughter. And what happens if a child dies, as a solider in a war? Mother gets payment for it. That's right. For having that child murdered by someone else, the mother will get paid. Murder of that child is not only okay, legal, approved by government and somehow necessary, but is also rewardable to the mother, who, had she refused to birth that same child, causing zero suffering to ensue, would have been punished. Nobody except the mother can get punished.

If the child was killed in a war, and not a soldier, nothing. Apparently loss of life with extreme amount of human suffering, is worth absolutely nothing. But refusing to put that life out there, is a punishable crime. Because it only matters if it's unborn or a newborn. Once that same baby grows up, it's slaughter time. Humans apparently lose value after they grow up, they're only worth as 'endless human potential' in unwilling hands, but after they've reached the age of 'not a baby anymore', worthless.

We have observed the world for long enough to see the consequences of the actions we make. Women are the only ones who can and should decide whether they are willing and able to bring another life into the world, that is worth living, that will provide a life which is livable, enjoyable, worth being alive for. Life is extremely precious and bringing it into the world where it will be subjected to neglect, torture, and possibly a painful death, is unacceptable.

Caring for mother's rights is the first thing that will improve any child's quality of life. Caring about the environment is the second. Ending wars and debilitating male's ability to even start a war, is a fight for life. Not fighting for them to take control of female bodies, which they'll use to make themselves endless supply of soldiers, endless war resources. Taking control from women always means putting it in hands of m*n, who don't find any problem with human suffering, who celebrate wars, find themselves at home doing massive murdering, torturing and raping of women and children.

Women in charge of life means making life compatible with joy, love, care and warmth. We are the only ones who give children have safety, community, care and protection only a willing mother can give. You're wrangling it away from us further away from control the women are. We are fighting for a world where every mother is willing, and every child wanted. Why aren't you?