#I was going to clean this up but tbh I think it's funnier if the ghost is like. noticeably worse quality than the rest of the tattoo

[amplexadversary]

Okay I've gleefully derailed posts before but this is a big derail and kind of dumb so I'm linking it.

When I watch the linked video, I end up thinking of Allenby gossiping about the shuffles, and now I need to headcanon who would likely say what bullshit.

-"I'm going to shit your pants." -> I could see this coming from a few people. Sai is a little fucker, he would make this threat and mean it. Chibodee would say it facetiously. Domon (while I headcanon him to be pretty good with languages) probably isn't above a gaffe where he means to say "I'm going to make you shit your pants," but misspeaks (probably when the guys are getting really rowdy and distracting and everybody's talking over each other.)

-"A duck the size of a tiger would have to be quite stout, I don't know that I could vanquish such a foe." -> George, though he'd choose different words than the video.

-"I'm all wet because Allenby dropped her phone in the river and I jumped in to get it. I can't find it though, can somebody call it while my head is underwater?" -> Domon would do this reflexively. Chibodee probably would as well.

-"I think it's time I come clean, I don't actually understand how wind works." -> Sai would be the funniest person to admit this, with his wind-based super move.

-"toodaloo, kangaroos" -> Domon, because someone told him it's a thing people say in English and he's kind of gullible.

-"Why the hell do we all have identical jackets? I can never find mine. Oh, but it's probably the one with my name on it though." -> while Domon or Chibodee would probably be the most likely to have this kind of brain fart, I think it's funnier if a very tired George says this (... ignore they fact that they don't have matching anything).

-On Monday Sai dared me to eat a spider, so I did. But then later that day I was running up the hill and shit my pants a little. I think those two things were related. -> I'd believe this from three of them in different contexts. Chibodee impulsively agreed to the challenge and admits this because hes mad about it. Argo ate the spider to humor Sai and is trying to discourage the rest of the group from making a similar mistake. Domon ate the spider because Kyoji didnt not have nearly enough chances to teach Domon to be weary of this exact kind of siblingeque horseshit, and we know from how he responds to Master Asia that Domon will just do things that you tell him to. He admits it, begrudgingly, because everybody wants to know why he bailed on them for several hours.

-"Do you guys think my shirt is cute? Too bad, I'm taking it off." "You're cute that way too." -> I could see George and Chibodee, in any order. Chibodee and Domon would only be believable if they're together, and with a massive time skip for them to get comfortable over.

-"My idol is that one dude who ate an entire airplane, love that guy, don't know his name." -> Argo, sarcastically, when Chibodee makes some remark about his physique and asks "what do you eat, sheet metal?"

-"Guys I think I watched the wrong Zootopia." -> Argo probably doesn't only pirate physical goods in the space age. He got a joke translation.

-"Domon, what type of feed does Fuunsaiki like, we want to make him a cake for his birthday." -> I feel like this is George and Argo's planning, and I could see either of them being the one to ask.

-[musing about Ice Age squirrel heteronormativity] -> I think Chibodee's the only one who could reasonably have seen it. He also dyes his hair two colors of the bisexual flag and wears the third so I can see him being annoyed by it.

-"I failed to locate a bear suit, does anybody have a spare bear suit?" -> Tbh this one could be any of them, except George, who is listening with his head in his hands.

-[quoting the infamous Snapcube Eggman rant] -> This is either Sai Saici, or Argo lost a bet to Sai Saici and was told to recite this. Sai is the only one of them I can buy being chronically online enough to reference this. Chibodee looks up Shadow and immediately asks Domon if it's his fursona, which backfires because the only other person in the room who knows what a furry is is Sai.

-"Why aren't you being silly? You promised you would be silly with me." -> ARGO. Said with a straight face to George. (Sai would be too low-hanging-fruit here, but I guarantee he's also looking at George expectantly. Admittedly, part of why I can see this coming from Argo is because of choices the dub made with how he speaks.)

-"Rain sent me this picture. I thought she was telling me that she was pregnant, but this is a covid test. She does have covid." -> Domon. Also worded a little differently than the original. While he did spend half his childhood in a jungle with Master Asia, he's probably seen pregnancy tests in drug stores when they have to make very occasional supply runs. Sai has probably also showed everyone the meme where people would edit a pregnancy test into various pictures.

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Playing around with Charlie's Design!

Speedpaint and fun fashion/design ramblies under the cut :3 (I'm not a fashion historian, I just have a special interest in it and know too much about it XD)

Oops I kinda wrote an article XD

So, I've heard through the grapevine that Charlie is actually somewhere around 200 years old - and not only does that make Rosie's "Oh, come now Alastor, she's much too young for you!" even funnier, I think it also makes her more hopeful outlook and determination for change 1000% more nuanced and interesting, AND I think it gives a ton of super fun space to play in as far as for-fun redesigns go!

I've really only seen charlie in 'historical' contexts art-wise in relation to Alastor and the Charlastor of it all (my personal tastes in Hazbin fan content probably account for a lot of that skew though tbh XD)

I'm mainly going to be referencing UK, Europe, and the United States in terms of the fashions and 'culture' I mention, which, yk, Charlie is an angel/demon and not human but also very obviously white so LMAO it seems fitting? That is also where the largest amount of my historical fashion/culture knowledge lays since I am also white, from America, and currently living in the EU XD (Plus the more you start delving into history in countries with a primary language other than English (including in Europe) the more you hit the language barrier, trying to find translations - and if its cultural and not fashion-oriented you have to figure out if you can even trust those translations or if they're bullshit etc etc etc (I cry))

But okay, so here's my train of thought with the left design:

Most people seem to have their style and/or tastes solidify somewhere around their 30s, and if we assume Charlie is somewhere near 200 in S1, then that would place her 30s around the 1850s! Given though that even with access to modern tech in S1, hell (More-so pride than the other rings imo) seems a little behind the human world - I think it would be safe to assume that divide would be more stark the farther back in time you go. With this in mind, I decided to base the majority of Charlie's style 'undertones' between 1850 and the early 1900's (AKA: Victorian era through the very early Edwardian period)

So lets go top down?

First up: HAIR! In many cultures around the world, an 'of age' woman wearing her hair down was considered very taboo. A social faux pa, if you will. This is one of the many reasons why beautiful updos in eras and areas where hair was allowed to remain uncovered were so popular. To be able to achieve these elaborate styles (and/or to be able to braid and pin back the hair to keep it still, and properly covered in other times/places) the hair was grown quite long. Though, many seeking elaborate styles, especially those with thinner hair, often employed the use of 'hair rats' and/or fake hair to be pinned/braided into the style. Buuut that's verging into a tangent lol...

I pretty obviously went with a Gibson girl look on this one,

The concept of the "Gibson Girl" first appeared around the 1890s as an expression of the 'ideal', but of course, like most aesthetics of the modern era, such as those within the 'clean-girl' or 'dark-academia' it is often displayed within a realm of privileged, upper-class, and faux-perfection that is largely inaccessible to most people. But, as Charlie is a Princess I thought the 'upper-class elegance' of it would work far better than attributing a style more common among the working class to this design. But the Gibson girl unlike many 'ideals' of the past, was not entirely a projection of male desire. In fact, in many ways they stood in opposition to this. Gibson Girls often represented independence and freedom. Many portrayed in the concept were emancipated and in the workforce (by choice), seen cycling and (GASP!) wearing cycling trousers!!! XD

The Gibson girls asked for equal opportunity, social and educational reform, and sexual freedom. The 'modern' and 'disruptive' girls of the turn of the century. All of which, I think speaks towards Charlie's character. And having her hair back while working is an element of practicality we see Charlie employ in canon! And you might say, Liz, that was so long ago! She hasn't changed her go-to hairstyle??? No. Not in my world. (I'm having fun!) Besides, we all know the distinction between the messy bun friend and the high-pony friend. We all have the way of putting long hair up that becomes 'automatic', I don't think it would be wrong to assume that something like this (esp. given her natural hair volume, which would negate the need for hairpieces), that is pretty, and stays out of the way would be retired from her usual repertoire (idk if I've ever had to spell repertoire before. My first guess was so wrong) Also I think the loose curls coming down are pretty and help fend off some of the uptight-ness that can sometimes come from a modern gaze looking at older styles. Loose curls are romantic! Charlie is romantic! I rest my rambling case!

Secondly: Her earring!

I wanted to bring in a quick flash of modernity here, as well as add a cutesy Charlie-esque nod to her more alternative emo phase we saw she had when she was younger XD Plus it helps bring in some of the heart motifs the show is so fond of in a more subtle way which I think is fun! Also, fun fact; did you know that nipple piercings and nipple chains were a thing in the Victorian era? No joke! There are articles from the era written about it! Here's a modern article that's just a bit of fun about it with a good general overview :3

Third : The Top! So, for the shirt I wanted to go with something that was a pleasant blend between modern and historical! In this design, I tried to keep a lot of the essence of Charlie's look: Hair pulled back, nice blouse, some sort of neck tie, red pants, etc.

I didn't go quite as long with the cuff as is historical, but the long, flush-to-skin sleeve cuffs were seemingly pretty popular in the eras I took inspo from. I decided to make the cuffs black because I thought it looked nice, matched the bowtie, and created a sense of visual completeness with the black tie at the top and the cuffs at the bottom, esp. bc I went more 'textured'/'sheer' with the stripes.

You can also see, much like Charlie's OG design, we have high collars on the inspo pictures! however, I was worried Charlie was going to start looking a bit too matronly/snobby school mistress-y, and so I decided to implement a bit of modern flare into the collar, having it fold over the much daintier bowtie (which is truly more of a bow, but it does tie the shirt together quite literally, as I've left a very large opening in the neckline to show a bit more skin (still trying to beat the matronly) as well as accounting for non-stretch fabric without buttons. I cannot allow myself to design things that wouldn't work if I decided to try and sew them XD I just can't!!! Non-stretch fabric gives you that nice drape effect while still allowing for a certain amount of structure, as well as being - sigh - historicallllll lmao These days only natural fibers in a garment tend to be pricier/more of a luxury, but elastic didn't even exist until the early 1900s, and synthetic fibers didn't exist until the 1930s. Oh boy I'm starting to tangent - the shirt, Lizzie!

Black and white stripes bc I grew up as Tim Burton trash and my love for them has never faded + yk, hell, and Vivzie's general love of a similar vibe hehe. I also felt like Charlie could use a little bit of patterning somewhere in her design. The most detail we get in the OG is her hair striping. TBH I think it works in her OG design, showing off some of her more practical nature in the face of her rainbow crayon drawings, but I think the hair in this design helps a little in that respect and I wanted to have fun damn it! XD Not to mention that a plain color (especially white) would make the design feel too plain and too old imo, where as the stripes help create interest and add in a little fun w/o making it too busy :3 (Though I think if the stripes had been solid black it would be too busy. I didn't want too many 'flats' on her. Going for a different or more in-between shade helps a lot I think)

Fourth: The Pants This one is another blend of Historical and modern! (pls don't take a shot every time I typed historical u will be very ill or very dead :'( that would be sad)

Most obviously, I primarily brought back the red in her design here! Though, I did pull the darker color from her OG lapels rather than the color of her suit - I'm trying to get more comfy with more vibrant colors in my work, but I just really felt averse to using the bright red with this outfit. Even though Zippers were invented (/first patented???) in the 1850s, they didn't really start being used in garments until the 1920s-ish, and I also just think lots of buttons on pants are really pretty XD and hey, look, I used the brighter red from her OG suit for the buttons, r u proud of me?! (I think it's cute :3 I usually default to metal buttons in my art, but colored and fabric buttons are SO pretty! Button diversity needs to be addressed! I am calling myself out rn! Lizzie! Use more colorful/textured buttons in things!)

I know a lot of people still try and call for the death of capris, but y'all are kinda wrong (I'm sorry) (Not really) what you hate is wide-straight leg capris cut at the wrong length!!! Skinny, well-cut straight leg, or wide-leg capris are cute! Deal with it! I will fight you!!!!!! This specific silhouette (perhaps minus my very 1800's buttons lmao) is very 1950s/60s

And again, showing off a liiiiitle more skin to help keep her from looking too modest. She may be trying to reform people and the squishiest goody-goody, but we're in hell, toots. And it's not like she's a prude - or like she ever grew up with historical earthly morals Asmodeus and the sins are her aunts and uncles - enough said XD

Fifth - Shoes I didn't draw any. They intimate me, I wanted this drawing to be fun, and besides! Too many of these characters have hooves (literally just charlie and Al (?) lmao but I like those two shush) and I need to practice!!!!

Did I draw them well? Perhaps not? Idk, I didn't look at a reference, but I think they're cuuute! I squealed when we saw her little hoofsies in 'Hello Rosie' As for the right design, my only real note is that I included eyelet lace bc lace was all the rage in the times I was pulling from, and eyelet has always been my personal fav of the laces hehe ...yeahhh I just really wanted to draw Charlie in jammies XD

As a final note before the speedpaint, I made Charlie's body a bit curvier! This was for a couple reasons! (yes I'm a nerrrd, if you read all this you know hehe)

Prettyyyyy! Bodies are pretty! Pretty curves

As far as character shape language goes soft shapes + soft character = very harmonious Idk I just feel like Charlie would have a little more curve to her (in my universe anyway lmao) even though she's a tall gorrrrlll (They're all like, stupid tall lmao - do y'all realize Lucifer is probs actually like 5'6/7?! I'm 5'6!!! Val is like TEN feet tall!!! :0)

It's also a fun(? maybe the wrooong word - interesting) bonus that historically (IDK about the time periods I took inspo from, but generally), the bigger/curvier/plumper you were, the more people assumed you to be in higher social-standing. This was bc the wealthy tended to have access to more (and often, better) foods. Ofc partnered with not having to do manual labor, which generally tends to (esp. pre-industrial revolution) to cause one to be more muscular and have less physical softness (tho ofc genetics also play a part in this nuance nuance).

Plus, yk, goat features bc I did that in my Charlastor Painting and I really liked it! I considered adding horns this time bc I think they're so cute but I honestly just forgot. I'll have to play with that another time!

Oki, I gotta shush up and post this soon my whole browser is lagging SO HARD :( If any of you read to the end uh - holy crap??? Glad I was interesting to you! (pls talk to me about fashion and hazbin and history lmao my asks are open! Feel free to request!)

[gayspock]

OK SOMEEEE gripes

im ACTUALLY extremely conflicted on some of the present day stuff and i think its mostly down to the characters

like im very happy with jeff, and i think he's fine as is - brilliant, even, bc hes a genuinely refreshing take imo as opposed to what they could have easily done (i.e unlikable, distant from it all husband). not that he would be CRAZY or unreasonable to resent shauna, but like... its just fucking so much funnier + more interesting to me to see a character kind of just go with it, rather than to have them stew in angst. like i think its more interesting and allows for them to explore different beats than what you'd assume they would if you'd just known the basics of what shauna was up to. imo

similarly i was happy with adam as a character, too, and i think they developed him well enough for who he was and how he functions in this story. im glad he didnt turn out to be javi (if he was, i guess, bc he still could be technically that kinda suck wway more now tbh booo) and whilst there was nooo way he was gonna survive if he was just some guy which he was

theres also guys like kevyn. my jokes aside abt how scary he is im kinda fine with him, and i do actually makes some kinda sense that hes a cop + that he's now so straight-laced. some loser divorced dad. and it'd be a good comparison to natalie, and the lifestyle she lives now and how their paths diverged. however i kind of wish they'd... just let him go? like i wish he'd been at the reunion, and they'dhad that exchanged and then he'd just walked away to his wife and kids and her back to the yellowjackets no return no return no return huh what was that YEHA. my point is. i feel like there's no true resolution between them two thats organic and it just kinda feels weird to keep him around past that. i know they need a cop character for whats happening with shauna now but it just feels kinda ... bizarre to have him playing that role with that creep dude. bc whilst i do prefer limited characters in a show like this and to keep it tight and clean it just feels weird for it to be him and for it to be THAT insular AND, again, for him to keep sticking around when i dont feel like theres anywhere for him to go.... like its kinda DIFFERENT with the other cop dude, bc he isnt pre-established and he does kinda just function moreso as just. a fucking yuckhead fuckhead but instead its just this weird uhhhh. and kevyn is back! um. he will continue serving this purpose and we will never touch on him and natalie again. bc we shouldnt ofc but it also feels weird to have him there without ever mentioning it LOL

who else. fuck. like i am also very conflicted abt tai's wife and son like.... they do just feel a bit like- theyre just there? and i think that DEFINITELY makes some sort of narrative sense with tai, and with her whole deal- she has it all, she has everything but she has nothinnggg but... IDK KINDA SAD MAN. bc its weird i'll go back to this with jeff and callie, but it does make SENSE that the non-yellowjackets characters are always gonna be secondary with the story theyre telling in more ways than them just being secondary characters but with how fucking impossible it is to reconnect with fucking ANYONE after everything they did/went through BUT ITS LIKE... like i said i kinda like jeff and ironically his absolute lack of personality became a personality, whereas with simone&sammy i feel like theyre just kinda... SUPER functioning and that does kinda make me worry because whilst i know a lot of ppl are yelling for tai/van endgame... i dont know it feels weird to write them off fuckin completely which is what i feel like the show might kinda lean into at some point...😭like i want more for them, and from them. and i also sorry i also hate fucking "scary child who sees the supernatural" trope SORRYYYY its so tired to me and so lazy . give this kid some proper fucking development

and i think its also another issue im having with the present day stuff. theres too many characters rn and its being misspent. like do not get me wrong im not against quirky elijah wood BUT i feel like misty's ENTIRE. FUCKING. ARC. RIGHT. NOW. would be so much more fucking effective if she was alone and tracking down natalie by herself and kinda struggling with that. OR if they kept up her rapport with jessica- like have her tag along, whether it'd be under the guise of a fixer or not, and maybe have her cause some tension bc again if eel like.. ITS SO MUCH WEIRDER just having jessica's entire stint just come to an end in the way it did and it would have been a much more solid throughline into s2 than to bring in elijah wood whos just genderbent misty and its like . ok its just nott.... INTERESTING TO ME... SO WHAT. SHES FOUND A GUY LIKE HER? WHO CARES MAN. IM SAYING THIS AS A LITTLE FREAK WHO CANT CONNECT WITH OTHERS & YEARNS FOR KINSHIP, LIKE... I JUST FEEL LIKE ITS KINDA BACKWARDS AND REGRESSIVE AND NOTHINGGGG. jessica was a much weirder fucking dynamic and i think could have been interesting and i do think theres ways they could have had them both pursue natalie but now its just... ehhhhhh like

and i also feel like elijah wood is kinda bringing up the comedic parts of misty's story and dont get me wrong i LOVED a lot of the dark humour bits from her in s1 but i feel likw now its kinda getting too close to just. that. kinda like just oh funny joke funny dark humour. and losing a lot of the substance it should have, which is kinda necessary to the humour itself....AND he's sort of stealing her limelight like WHO CARES. GO AWAY DUUDE. have confidence in misty to be able to CARRY this shit, cmon, bc no offence elijah but SHE WAS WAY BETTER AT IT! bc thats whats so GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW OTHERWISE- you have the confidence to let all these girlies to carry their plotlines by themselves, so dont slip!!! GET BACK UP. and again im saying with the too many characters thing- its just... ehrhh. who cares to spend so much time on him??? whos just out of nowhere when its like.. again i'd prefer it if you spent that time with taissa or with .....

CALLIE. SHHES PROBABLY THE PERSON IM THE MOST CONFLICTED ON IN THE WORLD. bc in so many ways again i feel like we cant focus on her too much in shauna's little life that shes made for herself but I JUST... I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SPOT IMAGINABLE WITH CALLIE, wherein we dont get enough of her and her side to really empathise with her but we get too much of her to find her on the wrong side of irritating-AND THAT. SUCKS. THATS THE WORST. EVER. BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY A TEENAGE GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THERES SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHAUNA/CALLIE IF THEY PUSHED FOR IT MORE, BUT ITS JUST... again its in this such an awkwwaarddd position where they only bring her in to be difficult it feels like. and the thing is? shes being reasonable. MORE than. shes totally justified in all the shit shes doing. but bc of the unfortunate way its framed she comes off as...... sadly.... unlikable which . again AGAIN IT SUCKS. BECAUSE SHES A TEENAGE GIRL AND THIS FEELS LIKE THE FIRST SHOW IN A LONG TIME TO HAVE A CAST FULL OF UNLIKABLE FUCKING TEENAGE GIRLS BE THE BEST EVERRRRRR AND SHE COULD BE SO GOOD MAN SHE COULD BE SUCH A GOOD WAY FOR SHAUNA TO LOOK INTO THE PAST BUTEE..... they kinda just write her off too and bring her up to cause complications obly. thats all it is. and i dont know i do get it i dooo get it bc again it makes SENSE with shauna and who she is and where her life is that the presentation would thereforebe kinda more her perspective but also... i do just feel... ITCHES. LIKE IM CLAWING AT THE WALL

ok last thing maybe idk. idk how i feel about lottie at all. its strange. i felt like she..... was kinda not present enough in s1. does that make sense ever at all. i wish we had more from her and her whole visions thing, and she had as much focus in the past as the others did from the very beginning. bc i feel like in s1... we didnt see enough of her in that regard? like we got her- we got bits of her. but not enough of her-her. bc im fine with her kinda story on paper (ish) and how its playing out but i t does feel weirdly unba;anced across s1 / s2. and its throwing me a bit there

[purplesurveys]

1645

Grease

What clique were you in in high school? Eh...cliques aren’t really a ~thing here. People had their own friend groups but that was all there is to it; the cliquish it ever got was the fact that there were kids who were popular because they were rich and went to parties, and kids who were popular because they were part of a high school band.

Would you liked to have lived in the 50s? I enjoy my freedom and rights now, so...no. It’d be cool to experience some facets of the 50s, I guess? like being present for Audrey Hepburn’s heyday and wearing pretty printed dresses, but otherwise I wouldn’t want to stay in it.

Did you go to prom? How was it? Yeah, because attendance was required. It sucked, just like I thought it would.

Moulin Rouge!

What is your favorite cover of a song? Paramore’s cover of Passionfruit will always be up there.

Have you ever been to France? Nopes.

Have you ever been in love with someone who was fatally ill? I haven’t.

West Side Story

Are you Puerto Rican? No. Who is your favorite character from Romeo and Juliet? I barely remember the story and the characters anymore but I think I took a liking to Mercutio if my memory serves me right? Maybe I found his lines funnier than the others’? I have like 97% no clue/memory whatsoever lol. Shakespeare wasn’t a topic I particularly enjoyed and I managed to get through my classes by quietly using the No Fear versions and hoping I wouldn’t get caught.

Have you ever been to New York? I haven’t.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

What’s your hair color? Black, but right now it’s dyed a faded brown.

Do you own any diamonds? Nope.

Have you ever been on a cruise? To where? Yeah, it was an East Asia cruise that started in China and went through Japan and South Korea.

Chicago

What is your favorite kind of liquor? My mid-20s self is content with just a nice, fruity cocktail. For the most part you can’t really pull me to take a shot anymore.

Have you ever been to jail or prison? For what? I’ve visited one for a journalism exercise/homework, but I’ve never been sent to one myself.

Have you ever been to Chicago? No but I would loVE to.

My Fair Lady

Is grammar important to you? Depends on the context. I wouldn’t be policing in my personal time but I do take grammar a lot more seriously for work since we write like 70% of the time.

Have you ever received or given a make-over? Other than for grad shoots where I got considerably made up, no.

Are you English? Nope.

Mary Poppins

Have you ever been a nanny or hired one? We’ve had househelp before, yeah. What do you do to make cleaning more enjoyable? I like turning on music or a video to play in the background.

Do you know anyone who works at a bank? Yeah, a few batchmates from high school and mutual friends from college.

RENT

Do you know anyone who is HIV+? I don’t.

Are you behind on your rent? I don’t pay any.

What is your sexual orientation? Asexual.

Hairspray

What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don’t use hairspray.

Have you had any best friends or SOs who are a different race than you? Nope.

Have you ever been on TV? As far as I know, no.

The Sound of Music

What are a few of your favorite things? BTS, chicken sandwiches, and dogs.

Are you Catholic? On paper yes, but I abandoned the faith a very long time ago.

Are you German? Nope.

Jesus Christ Superstar

Have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior? In the past.

Have you ever been to a desert? I haven’t.

If you could ask Jesus for anything, what would it be? Nothing.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Are you engaged? I am not.

Who did you lose your virginity to? An ex.

Do you know any trans* people? Yes.

Little Shop of Horrors

What is your favorite kind of plant? Not a very big fan of plants tbh.

Do you like your dentist? Sure!

Have you ever donated blood? No, I’ve always been underweight to be permitted to do so.

Across the Universe

What is your favorite Beatles song? I don’t have one.

Who do you know that’s gone off to war? ;__; Does Jin count

Have you ever been in a protest? Yes, a handful ones in college.

Mamma Mia!

What is your favorite ABBA song? I don’t have any. LOL I am so not the target audience for this survey hahaha oops.

Have you ever been to Greece? No.

Do you know your biological father? Yes.

Les Miserables

Are you French? No.

Do you know anyone who has committed suicide? Yes.

What is the poorest you have ever been? Pandemic.

[brevemasinfinita]

five months since we last saw each other, two months since he broke up with me.

five/two months older, i must admit just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it. five/two months older i won't give in. now that im clean ill never gonna risk it. the drown was the very worst, when the flowers that we grew together died of thirst. it was months and months of back and forth.

well. he ruined me. he completely shattered me. he made me suffer so fucking much. he made me cry and beg on my knees for him to stay and i got nothing in return. with all the weapons he fights with, the silence is the most violent. tell me how to feel about you know? lemme know. do i suffocate or let go?

ok, enough with the song lyrics. but tbh that's the way i know how to communicate. fuck.

i started smoking very very frequently, i started to starve a little, not feel hunger or joy, never smile. faking smiles at parties and events, pretending im ok. i might be ok but im not fine at all.

all the hell that he put me through made me into another person. a silent person. a fearful person. a person that doesn't want to reach out anymore cause wont get nothing back probably. a person very scared of falling in love again. a person that thinks that that love was a lie, that love is a lie. a person that was reborn and has a crush now but its too afraid to speak it, to show emotions/feelings. a person that can't show who they are because of fear.

and funny thing is, after some weeks, i couldn't recognize him anymore, whether it be on pictures or tweets or anything else. i just thought he was boring, so very boring. i thought god but he was funnier and cooler when he was with me. now i see him online and simply think i would never ever like liiike that person, or just like even. he's boring, tacky, awful, annoying... i don't love nor hate him anymore. im very indifferent, except fkr the times i wish he feels miserable and unhappy and choke on food and make a scene, a pathetic scene. but mostly im indifferent.

anyways i dont feel safe or comfortable to say things like these on twitter cause he might see it. i deleted tweets talking about the date i had and how afraid i am because of him. i only feel safe to express myself here, on tumblr.

im just so very tired of being the only one making an effort in every single fucking relationship i have. am i not worth it? am i boring? today i texted some friends asking to hang and i immediately regretted it and though they was just being polite but didn't want to talk to me or go out with me. thanks, people from my past. seriously, thank you so much. i guess you thought i didnt have traumas enough.

i could say all your names, i could ask people to hate you. but honestly i dont care and im tired. get fucked by yourselves

i just wanted to vent.

ps yeah he wasnt the only boy to break my heart last year. some friends did it too. im talking about you, drew. but also many other people.

[no-psi-nan]

The Most Dateable Dudes in Saiki K: Survey Results!

With 119 votes from viewers like you, we can finally crown the most dateable dude of the Saiki K main cast...

Congratulations to Kuboyasu Aren for being the most dateable, and to Nendo Riki for being a close second! 

Fun fact: Nendo was actually ahead for most of the voting time!

Of course, we can’t leave out the rest of the Saiki K dudes, so here’s the lineup:

More statistics and voter comments under the cut! Thanks everyone for playing, and to everyone with the laugh-out-loud quotes: stop being funnier than me wtf.

From the main cast...

Saiki Kusuo (16)

he's just like me fr. we wouldn't date we'd just be in a qpr.

He cares

Give coffee jelly and best boifriend

im aroace and so is he so we can just not date eachother

He'll settle for the most average bitch: me.

I'm personally too old to date these high schoolers but Saiki is genuinely the most fun to hang out with, plus he's such a giving and caring person that he'd be a great partner to someone he could trust and that could make him feel human again. It's not saikis fault he exudes capybara vibes.

He's respectful and I like how he doesn't really have expectations for anyone. I would like to play a video game with him at some point in time or just read books in the same room without talking.

Because i love him (though aren is a close second)

He is really considering and caring even if he hides it. He can revive time for any objects and thats a huge help with cleaning and healthcare. And he never judge his friends so thats a huge anxiety relif. And he is ace

I love Saiki!!! Yeah!! Love that guy!!!

Will have no huge problems as his friend and in his proximity, will be in proximity often. focused on me and my problems while trying to escape from dating. Every day a new adventure

Saiki Kusuo (without powers) (2)

without his powers kusuo is just a little guy. so horribly out of touch in a way that isn't obvious but EXTREMELY funny + less psychic fuckery means i don't have to worry about the negatives, and it's not like i was going to expect anything like that from any other partner. plus we're both aspec. it will be a lavender marriage, except neither of us have a secret gay relationship on the side

Nendo Riki (24)

im aroace and he is too and i want to hang out

Himbo. Enough said.

Listen, I'm a kaido stan but the answer is literally nendo. He can cook. He's good w/ animals & kids. His face would scare away creepy guys. His brain is so empty it makes more room for ~love for friends~. All he had to do was get a haircut and the entire class found him irresistible. When love expert Imu told saiki her vision of the perfect man he literally pictured nendo before she mentioned a perm. Wake up people.

NO EXPLANATION NEEDEAD HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST. you just gotta keep it a secret from him 'cause he thinks dating is only for the bad stuff. or explain to him that it's not just for the bad stuff

The lesser of 10 evils

Best Boy ever

The propaganda posted yesterday was very convincing. Also he's genuine and kind

good cook, loyal, friendly, has personality, himbo

he would treat me well i think

hes the only one with the emotional maturity. Saikis too angsty. Kaidous wayyy to angsty. Hairo maybe, but hes never gonna have a good work life balance, he'll put his training over you being his partner. idk whod ever pick toritsuka. kuboyasu was literally in a gang, im gonna give him a bit to learn how to be a functioning member of society. saiko is a bitch. satous boring as fuck, i love him but not as a date. akechi has never learnt how to talk normally in his life, love him but that doesnt make him dateable

Nendo

Kind himbo

Big heart himbo who can cook

He's just gorgeous and manly, he's peak male performance

i was told to put him

is it not obvious?

nendo beloved, no thoughts

I need a weird guy in my life. I need a guy who will lick door handles with me.

tbh honest the most normal. He's only undatable bc he's gross but idk. kuboyasus a close second maybe

Can cook, loves animals, is athletic. The whole package except for his haircut.

he is kind :)

Kaido Shun (10)

He's super sweet, shy, throws himself in to protect people, and he's a chuuni dork and I think that's a feature not a bug 😌 Also his studious nerdy side is cute. I will stand by this.

I might be choosing kaidou bc I'm a lesbian and he's the most femm guy ngl

He's absolutely adorable and I feel like he would be reliable.

He be cute

idk bro i just like pathetic dudes. i feel like he'd be fun to play video games with and bond over our terrible moms lol

Least likely to cause me physical or psychological damage over the course of our relationship. He's so awkward with romance dates would probably just be LARPing Jet Black Wings, seriously doubt anything romantic would actually happen and y'know what I'm cool with that. I wanna rp as my edgy middle school OCs too cringe culture is dead

We have similar levels of goblin- I'd say saiki but that is the most aroace guy I've ever seen. Love to be in a qpr with him tho 👍

he's so pathetic <3

Hairo Kineshi (13)

i feel like this isn't even a question like??? He's the obvious right choice. He'd treat you right

he's nice :)

hes not my fave BUT hes the most normal if you don't count satou, and satou is a little TOO normal so itd be boring. also hes hot and popular and he would put a lot of effort into the relationship

Drinks respect women juice (unlike some), not stuck up nor unattractive

He's break my heart w the most motivational speech ever +_+

He's a good guy, he'd never lie, and would be his partner's biggest cheerleader.

Hairo is the most likely and reasonable option to choose out of all the Saiki K men. We all know how Saiki reacts to others trying to date him. Nendo's oblivious, and Kaido is very kind but hes not ready for romance. Toritsuka is.... Toritsuka. Saiko tries to buy people. Aren is too much of a try-hard. I can't really imagine how Touma or Satou would be relationships. Hairo is the most respectful and compassionate man in Saiki K. He listens to people and speaks whats on his mind (even if its a little blunt). He can be much but thats ok

he's the most normal and least worst

he is so supportive and even if hes rlly intense he would be such a good bf

he's nice. & hot i guess (if you're into that)

He is the most considerate and seems to be the most ready for a relationship, though the bar is very low.

Toritsuka Reita (3)

;) i love me a man who is Awful (im gay)

Kuboyasu Aren (31)

hes not too much of an idiot (unlike nendou, kaidou(im sorry lmao), saiko) + he respects women (unlike toritsuka) + i dont headcanon him as aroace (unlike akechi and saiki) + hes not boring (im sorry satou) (+ i dont deserve hairo tbh)

Side characters think Saiki is bland, Nendo is so ugly that nobody will give him a chance (:() , Kaido has his whole chuuni side to him which is annoying for most (:(), Hairo is Hairo, Toritsuka is Toritsuka, Saiko would probably be third place because of his money status but he is still insufferable to a lot of people, side characters know that Satou is bland (though that could be a good thing who knows, he is my 2nd place) and Akechi would just talk and talk and talk which most people would find annoying. Kuboyasu is pretty good at masking his delinquent side nowadays and has become just an average guy who isn't bland. Some people also prefer bad boys, so there's that I guess.

He could drive me around with his motorbike and could wrestle with me, that's really all i need in life. If powerless Saiki could still ride a motorbike he'd be my second choice, because we actually have a lot in common. Or maybe that's not a good thing…

who else tbh

he's a badass

Can start shit and hide behind him.

Season two episode two where he gets a fake love letter he admits his loyalty to love and care about his spouse forever and is willing to just drop school to marry them. Also he's really handsome and strong and good at art

Loyal. Will beat up anyone who decides to look at me in a bad way.

With how he reacted to one single (fake) love letter I don't doubt the fact that he would take care of his s.o. very well

Seem like he would be fun to hang around without it being absolutely insane...i think...maybe...

LOOK AT THE DUDE!! mans was ready to marry and be loyal to a woman his whole life over a single love letter absolute husband material I tell ya plus, he's trying to be good

He would be DEVOTED to his partner. He's cute. Also bisexual.

Big and buff and kind

An all around good guy. Has proven he isn't afraid of commitment and sacrifices for a life together,  even dropping out. Is more than capable of protecting his partner, and also understands that his fighting lifestyle could put undue stress on his partner and their relationship and is willing to fully stop for them. He is respectful and has basic notions of what is and isn't socially appropriate, more than can be said about other members of the cast. He isn't desperate, or a pushover, a relationship with him is unlikely to be average to the point of boredom and he isn't excessively embarrassing to be with in public.

He’d make a genuine effort to be a good bf and make you happy. also weirdly i think he's the most normal one

Aren is a kind and loyal person, to his friends, his family and especially his lover. Aren doesn't need to constantly rely on people to become a better person, we've already seen from when he first appeared that he showed great discipline and restraint when he was trying to move on from his old delinquent life. His lover doesn't have to worry about about him 24/7, knowing that Aren can restraint himself and stay out trouble, he only ever really gets into fights with people that are awful. He always looks like he gives strong hugs and is very handsome.

He's hot n would treat me right. Need me a man that can kick someone's ass for me

hnnfg,,;,

Hes respectful but can also kick ass. He drinks his respect women juice everyday.

deeply dedicated to his potential partner + great at violence

H e's a dedicated and passionate guy.  He's someone who's actively trying to better himself, and personally I find that really admirable and kind of attractive dldhldhskd.

Remember that time when someone sent him a (prank) confession letter, he was so nervous and serious it was so funny and cute. Honestly all I could think about at the time was that I would love to date a guy who would take the relationship seriously, but still be nervous that I can tease him a lot lol.

The only con with Aren that I can think of is his background, realistically I dont think I want to date someone who has gang relations (not v sure. been a while since i read the manga, i dont remember if Aren was really in a legit gang or just a delinquent gang sorry. if he was in a legit gang, id be more scared).

Uhh other dateable characters I like are Nendou, Saiko Metori and Teruhashi Kokomi. Tbh Nendou's would be THE BEST boyfriend. But the reason why he's second place to me is bc he's too tall for me. Seriously. I'm 5ft and a half. I dont see what you guys see in 6ft men. I am Not craning my neck to kiss or even Look at my man. So sorry T_T

I also really enjoyed seeing Saiko slowly redeeming and becoming nicer and caring towards the end of the series. Honestly so heartwarming. I like him. Would date him actually, despite the attidude. I've dealt wih worse lol.

As for Teruhashi, honestly she's the one I can imagine what it's like dating her best. I can go on for much longer here but I already think my response is too long T_T. Just uhh yk if theres a girls section I maybe would pick her lrbrkrbkdndm.

Because I might get along with him better than anyone else. We also have the same goal of spending our lives loving one person.

Saiko Metori (1)

no one else is gonna vote for him <3 actual answer: he's cute he's rich and i can fix him

Satou Hiroshi (11)

the rest are insane i think. i love  them but if i were to date any of them there would always be something.  second best option would either be kaido or kuboyasu i think

Least bad option, and dating him  seems like a guarantee for a good relationship.

he's just a normal, nice dude who  won't drag you into insane situations or get you arrested or whatever

Respects women.

Satou? Nice normal dude, Ideal nice  quiet life with him and a nice simple romance that I want :)

not much will happen, you get  together, go on average dates, meet family, live average lives, over all  it'll be ok, a break up will probably be just as average too

normal. just a guy

He is the most normal out of them  LMAO (I love the others so so much but holy hell dating any of them would be  atrocious askdjksjd)

Idk man he's just a guy (not  blorbo)

I'm gonna sound like Saiki but he's  average and we have common interests. Not a lot of drama but life's not  exactly dull around him either. He can care the conversations but he'll also  let you ramble on.

Bro is the only man thatd treat me  right

Akechi Touma (7)

I need someone to ramble more than me... Also I need someone to deduce what happens next in some fanfictions that isn't finished yet because I can't wait and doesn't have insane deduction skill. I mean Kuusuke can do it but Kuusuke might kill me so no. Also I need more Akechi ramble, I like those, got me interested in blood-type personality pseudo-science influence in japan, and since Akechi asked people to not harass him because of his blood type, it would mean that he is likely not type A (+and-). His purple eyes also implies that he has actually some supernatural skills, since traditional folktales associate this with eyes colored purple. It is also a deep dark purple. Interestingly, his pupils dilates whenever he goes into rambling mode. This is to be noted, people in sknpn dilates their people when they're furiously crazy (see Kurumi). Crazy Akechi? I am all here for it. Also he would be useful if I want to blackmail someone, so I would of course try my best to be on his side. I am not the brightest person in the world, but I am not stupid either. Next would be Kaidou. Kaidou is a totally relatable dude, since I have the same weight and same height as him (159cm and 45kg). Kaidou has a normal caring mom, who is overbearing but very well care about him genuinely. He is the only mom who Kusuo has never say anything negative about (Midori being a ""capitalist pig"", Kurumi being ""an idiot""). I would do anything to have his mom as my mom, though my mom is good enough, just a little bit more physical. Kaidou is also basically as weak as me (sadly), and would share a passion for hating sport. I am interested in drawing his fantasies and would happily be with him, since he is a sweet, pure, genuine person. I think I should end this here since there're more comments and questions to answer below I suppose.

He can info dump on me as whitenoise to combat my tetanus. I could Info dump back on occasion. I think it would be fun. Plus he's good with bugs.

I dont want to date him im an adult i just want to be friends with this dude thats all

I have problems

is datable meant to mean for everyone? cause this answer kinda hinges on the fact that me and him have two flavors of neurodivergence that i think  would complement each other but thats just in my specific case. which is weird because im also aroace i just think wed get along?? i would give him a litol kissy on his head and then we'd go on wikipedia dates or something. i wish Akechi Touma was real because i absolutely would question my romantic/platonic attraction over him (something not a lot of people irl can claim ive done for them)  But if this question means datable in the sense of like, ideal guy i would recommend to others? it would probably be Nendo. hes sweet and doesnt have as much baggage (for lack of a better word) as the others. He would treat you right and hes tall which i guess is a characteristic people are interested in, no judgement to them of course lol

 Best of the Rest

Matsuzaki the Gym Teacher (24)

well matsuzaki is a nice guy and also i rewatched his introduction episode a few days ago so

another man who would treat you right

He's hard working (seemingly runs PK academy himself), cares deeply about his students, stable career

trustworthy, athletic, honorable

I wouldn't date him personally(see age), but he has good intentions

hes athletic with a stable job and idk i just get the vibe hed treat me right, y'know?

Im an introvert, he got my back

dilf. sorry the stubble and the lines under his eyes got to me.

He's cool and I like him.

you know. miss saiki close second

would NOT date him personally as i am not interested in people with DILF energy but he seems like a very good partner. go king shit.

he's neat

Respectful dude

himbo

dilf

He's cool.

look i just have issues

dilf energy

dilf

Similar reasons to Hairo; he's the most mature one and is very respectful, even if it does get lost in translation sometimes.

Id date Matsuzaki. Honestly dont know if we would be compatible but I really do like honest dudes. Remember that one time when some kids pranked him with a confession letter, and he really waited for someone to show up and rejected them kindly. Dude. I was like. Woah. That. That was genuinely so cool. That was genuinely so attractive. What the hell. I would love to date someone like that. I would also consider the mangaka, though honestly I feel like we are too similar it would almost be looking at a mirror (despite looking like complete opposites T_T). Hey maybe it would work out? But like. We could also be besties.

Kusuke Saiki (17)

Alright hes the worst and I want to study him

My taste in men is horrible

The insanity

He be psycho

Anime Kusuke, just to state. HES SO. AND FOR WHAT. thats it thats my truth

The mad scientist tm aesthetic

Brains?? rich?? idk man

He'd actually be awful to date he's just insane and I like that in a man

get married. high risk high reward. i am a lesbian though and if he was a lesbian mad scientist he would be extremely hot. but as is I'm just all about planning my divorce outfit and attempting to dodge certain death

Korosensei from Assassination Classroom (17)

I was going to choose Kusuke, because I've slowly realized that he's my blorbo, though he's trash. He's smart and I like passionate guys,,, if we could, redirect it a bit maybe. But then I saw Korosensei and all bets are off. Reaper form is hot, and as a teacher he's just so caring, and again, the passion for me.

Alien boy that likes teaching, what is there not to love?

Everyone else I either didn't know, didn't remember enough about to know if they were safe, or knew to be DEFINITELY not safe. Don't know much about Assassination Classroom, but my sister read the manga so I asked her if he was a decent person and she said yes. Asked if hanging out with him risked damage to my physical or mental health, she said as long as I was a good guy I'd be fine (and possibly benefit mental health?) so. He's probably good.

Korosensei is literally the ideal guy

Process of elimination

I uh,, I um, well, ya know ?

with or without tentacles he's still care for you and it wouldn't be as overbearing as the other options. I was originally going to choose Kusuke but I don't want to end up a lab rat

Shiragami Fudekichi (Mangaka of Silent Cyborg) (12)

I'll be honest here: I should have voted for Mr. Matsuzaki, but Fudekichi is really, really good-looking. I can be very shallow.

he's a mood

Could draw you.

Introverted artist thats says no to women objectification? Yes please. And he is a great artist and writer that even has a team of helpers and thats really impressive, u know?

hes pretty

he looks a little pathetic and i think its funny

Chono the Magician (7)

i want to roll him up into a ball and shoot hoops with him

i think itd be funny

Only one without any obvious terrible flaws preventing him, and he does seem to have both a stable job and a good amount of creativity and loyalty.

Nice dude! Has his life together!

He's sane

Kuniharu Saiki (6)

im about to embark on the greatest "i can fix him" project of all time

Kuniharu is hard-working, even if he is quiet useless. He is very loyal, and to be fair he does manage to provide for his family in the end with his shameless shoe-licking. He seems like the type to be devoted also my hands are tired. He is weak and won't be able to hurt a fly, and sweet person with questionable litterature skill. Nonetheless he is an admirable enough person, who enjoys the lovely domestic environment at his house rather than focusing on his career. Focusing on his career for money, etc would probably end at best as a normal divorce, in the workacoholic society that they live in. Thug-smile Shirigami is my scond choice. Young, successful and the best trait: he is so funny lmao. Just look at his passive aggressive doings towards Kuniharu. How could one not respect this man lmao.

There must be a reason why he bagged a baddie

he'd lick my boots 😜

idk i just picked the person i knew it's been a hot minute since i watched the ol saik

The sniper Saiki summoned (6)

he does a good job :)

snipers are hot

gun

Ike-san the Magician's Assistant (4)

He just chillin ya know

Arguably the most fuckable on this list

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ seems nice

Iguchi Takumi (the new teacher from Reawakened) (4)

my standards for men are: is not a pathetic creature or a creep

He seems nice ig, even if he looks a lil creepy he's got his heart in the right place.

Because Kuniharu is a taken man, and, though sweet, a tad pathetic. Iguchi Takumi is prejudged as a pervert every day by society and still he doesn't let it get in the way of providing the best guidance he can to his students. He is fair, not a pushover, not over strict, gives second chances and forgives children easily for the mistakes children usually make. He's patient, respectful, has never been condescending to the students, goes up and above in his dedication to his work. These are all qualities of a high quality man. He works in his true passion, and I bet he'd do his very best to maintain a healthy work/life balance if he finds someone to share his life with. His students would probably go first, but a man with such ironclad priorities is also respectable and admirable.

Rean Kuboyasu (3)

Dilf.

I like Matsuzaki and mr. Ike but rean seems to be in the healthiest marriage of the show. Him and his wife kicked ass together, taught their kid what they know, then all turned to the straight and narrow path as a family. A tattooed family man who can ride a motorcycle and saves kittens on the side of the road.

 Aren gotta get it from somewhere

The Café Mami Manager (2)

He seems like a nice guy. The others are all a bit quirky for some people, especially Kuusuke, Makoto and Aren's dad

Can deal with cockroaches. A little emotionally unstable but who isn't. Plus perpetual sweets and coffee shop dates. I wouldn't mind working with him in his business or being a girlboss taking care of the bills so he can maintain his business.

Kuniharu Mannequins (2 for the price of 1) (2)

They can't backtalk

Other (2)

Kokomi Teruhashi – she’s pretty

Mr. Kaidou – Wooed Mrs Kaidou and also works a high end job.

The sumo wrestler Saiki summoned (1)

WRESTLE MEEEEE!!!

Peanuts Ueda (1)

No Votes

Makoto Teruhashi

Takahashi (classmate)

Nendo Sr

The magician Saiki summoned

[fairytheo]

enhypen as your boyfriend.

boyfriend!enhypen x gen!reader. fluff. 1.9k. curse words. mention of bugs, food. not requested.

🐈 ⸝⸝ HEESEUNG ˙𐃷˙

super-duper caring !!

he’s so whipped for you — he smiles just by thinking about you

also very giggly around you

LOVES lending you his beanies

(aka. you stealing them..)

+ you steal his earrings as well ! not that he minds

absolutely adores singing for you / he loves singing you to sleep :D

hold up, is being heeseung’s s/o just being his personal ramen cook 🤨🤨

he aaalwaays bugs you to play games with him (especially wii and nintendo switch lmao)

either that or you’re playing animal crossing while eating takeout at your dinner table

you’re the only person in the world who he’ll ever do aegyo for. 

he secretly enjoys it, but shhh you didn’t hear that from me

i think he likes calling you names like cutie, cutiepie or just a shorter version of your name <3 (if there is one !)

booping your nose is on his everyday to do list ☝️

lowkey therapist & boyfriend in one ngl

WAIT he loves making playlists for you two,, 

“y/n! i made another playlist, do you wanna listen to it? i made it while thinking of you.” <//3 

the type to write cheesy lyrics about you, then later cringes at his own writing bUT then leaves it like that because you like it !

you have his cover of lauv’s “i’m so tired” either set as your alarm or play it on loop everyday 

(random but for some reason i can picture him giving you a cassette with his cover on it just for the vintage vibes)

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAY ˙𐃷˙

the mom-and-boyfriend in one ;] 

f a s h i o n  c o u p l e 

you are literally fashion icons. no disagreements. 

you have matching clothes or accessories ! even if it’s really subtle, the gesture behind it is super adorable <//3

cooking pt. 2 :D but this time there’s a gorden ramsay in your relationship

i can just SEE how you both two impersonate gorden ramsay while cooking which makes everything 10 times funnier !! checks every 5 seconds if the food is ready tho because he doesn’t wanna risk anything

never cleans up afterwards, either you do or no one does

since you’re both fashion icons your social media followers are going 📈📈📈

literally couple goals.

he loves taking pictures of you,, but also wants you to take pictures of him 

jay gets flustered easily so please make him flustered with sudden compliments, hugs, kisses, etc. !!

he’s also the only member i can really see calling you babe

confident but shy about pda at the same time ??? he’s both LOL 

you always tease him with his RAS moments and randomly quote them when you’re in the middle of a conversation with him lmao

random and idk if this fits here, but he likes making your lunch — leaves you encouraging notes too <3

last but not least: jokingly gets angry at you when he wants something from you, and you do the same thing back ♡

🐈 ⸝⸝ JAKE ˙𐃷˙

sweetest and softest boyfriend to ever exist. i’m so soft for him JSHSHS

definitely calls you sweetie and darling. 100%. fight me if you think otherwise. 

shows you pics of layla everyday (it’s become routine for him >_<)

a tiny bit cliché BUT lends you his jacket whenever you’re cold (even when you’re inside !!)

random thought: jake puts his hands in your hoodie pockets...

💔💔💔

it’s his personal goal to peck your cheek and forehead at least twice a day — gets pouty if he wasn’t able to do that ))):::

talks in english a lot because you love his accent !!

if you’re an english speaker, you’ll have conversations in english all. the. time.

if you’re not an english speaker, no worries, he’ll teach you !

+ reads you bedtime stories in english (jake’s australian accent >>>) 

dreams of travelling with you to australia <33  

if there’s a bug in the house you better know that jake will NOT be removing them and runs out of the house

WILL stay over at one of the other member’s houses untill that bug is REMOVED . 

so if you’re afraid of bugs as well,,, i’m sorry bae, but it’ll be your task to remove these little... creatures 😐

ngl you have more photos of layla than of him on your phone lol

(spams you with her pictures and captions them with “y/n!!! look!!! layla with a flower!!!! layla with a butterfly!!!!” it’s just so sweet aaa)

we need some “””drama””” so you make jokes about him being a “🥶💸🔥💪” boy a lot in your relationship LMAO

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNGHOON ˙𐃷˙

ice skating dates.

this has been mentioned in other headcanons a lot already but i just HAD to include it,,

convinces you to eat ice cream after your date LOL even if it IS winter

btw. fashion couple nr. 2 !!! 

MIRROR SELCAS

MIRROR SELCAS 

ugh the visuals and the power you two hold,,,, i can’t,,,,,

has better clothes than you ngl so you share clothes lmao

it started with him lending you his sweatpants, but then you didn’t want to return them forgot to return them and BOOM 💥 here we are

extremely awkward and shy at first — don’t worry though, he becomes much more chaotic in the later phases of your relationship

he teases you SO MUCH. LIKE. SO MUCH.

always has small smile (smirk?) on his face when he’s about to make a cocky remark (so beware)

you tease him back just twice as hard which 1.) results in him in becoming flustered 2.) fails LOL

off-topic but he’d love a s/o that has a similar style to him ??? a more elegant, classy, dark style perhaps

when he’s away / busy he’ll send you some selcas and captions them with “how r u doing??” “did you eat yet?” “cheer up :P” 

kinda shy about pda but likes showing off too ???

i mean,, men... 🙄🙄 /lh

whenever someone mentions your name near him, he’ll just try to hide his smile while biting his lip (yk what i’m talking about???) and you’ll see his dimples and the affectionate look in his eyes and just AAAAA

the type of boyfriend that calls you love~

🐈 ⸝⸝ SUNOO ˙𐃷˙

skin care routines with sunoo 24/7 🤝

he does your hair (if your hair is long enough to do different hairstyles with it ofc !!) 

send you daily weekly skin care products he thinks you two should try out / that’d be good for your skin <3

spa nights every friday at 9pm — he only lets you in if you wear a stylish pyjama LOL

you buy him peach items because they just remind you so much of him (｡•́︿•̀｡)

SELCA TIME !!! his phone is always ready !!! (apart from his storage maybe?)

PARTICIPATES IN SELCA DAYS OF YOUR FAVOURITE IDOLS AAA

loves to go on walks w u

does A LOT of aegyo,, 

and i know that you knew that this point will be in this headcanon.

for eg. instead of saying goodnight or bye he’ll just do aegyo for you not that anyone minds tbh

stages of sunoo flirting (?):

a — tries to compliment you (it sounds more like a flirty remark tbh)

b — realizes then blushes

c — cringes and runs away LMAO

playfully acts jealous, so you know it’s a joke but deep down he’s actually jealous

you two match each others vibes a lot — if one is sad, the other is sad as well

+ tells you your posture is bad when you sit like a banana or tells you to go to sleep early and when you don’t listen to him, he’ll show you an article that proves that (abc) and (xyz) is bad for you and says “i told you so.” 💀

🐈 ⸝⸝ JUNGWON ˙𐃷˙

impresses you by doing kicks (does the kick cap challenge on tiktok and/or you play kick it by nct 127 for the funzies) 

poking his dimple is a MUST . 😩😩

though gets super shy when you kiss him and also if you buy him gifts !!

cheers you up whenever you feel down or are upset

compliments you a ton ))): will randomly come up to you and tell you that your fit is cute or that you look brighter today,,, little does he know it's because of him ;]

HUGS!HUGS!HUGS

poking his dimple comes first, then hugging

the other members tease you two everytime you’re over LOL it’s like there are two koalas clinging onto each other

our yang garden gained another sheep +1

you two randomly play sheep,,,, like,,, everyday ???? sheep cosplays 👍

idk why ig it’s just fun to imitate sheep and go “mmmeEeEeeEhh” to annoy others

talking of that, even THOUGH he is a responsible leader he will not hesitate to do stupid shit with you

“hey how about we ring on that house there and yell “sheep for sale!” do you think they’ll open the door?”

“i don’t know... let’s find out!” 🤝

let’s just say that this didn’t end well..

also kinda bullies you (in a loving way ofc !!) pand teases you nonstop

either calls you asshole or love aHA

in conclusion: a very unpredictable relationship,, would 10/10 recommend.

very random but i feel like his love language is acts of service

🐈 ⸝⸝ NI-KI ˙𐃷˙

oh look it’s our tsundere 😼

can’t go a day without dancing so you two have vibing sessions at 2am everyday ft. the others telling you to go to bed

you’re the only one that can make him soft lol

if you’re older than him, you would definitely take care of him like your own baby !! 

if you are the same age as him or younger it’d be awkward for him at first, because he isn’t used to taking care of someone younger, so he’d treat you as if you were his best friend at the beginning

you love to watch him dance !! it’s so satisfying,, LITERAL asmr.

pranks you 24/7. boy has NO mercy. will not care if the others will scold him later. he will do the prank smoothly (?) — doesn’t care about the consequences LMAO

probably sets your alarm to someone screaming or a cringy aegyo song <//3

wants to film dance covers with you !! you don’t have to be the best dancer either !! as long as you have fun ^__^ 

the other members find you really cute but are also vERY TIRED OF YOU,, two energized teens in a relationship was not a good idea ☝️

likes to randomly hold your hand and swing it around 

probably distant at the beginning of the relationship because a.) he doesn’t want to pressure you/make things awkward b.) he doesn’t really know what to do either ???

(if you’re not japanese or don’t know how to speak japanese) he’ll definitely teach you some japanese phrases and words !! introduce you to his culture as well :DD and he really wants to know more about your culture too <3

teaches you phrases like “sunoo is a dumbass” for the funzies LOL

randomly makes micheal jackson impressions,,, it’s hilarious LMFAO

[niemernuet]

My entry for this week's off-season wintersport fandom challenge, with the subject:

ouch - that’s a sunburn 🥵☀️

Tbh it sounded funnier in my head. But here goes nothing:

M + J

rating: T pairing: Mauro Caviezel/Justin Murisier, Gino Caviezel/Marco Odermatt (side-pairing) characters: Loïc Meillard, Zoé Chastan, Justin Murisier, Marco Odermatt, Gino Caviezel, Mauro Caviezel length: 2'200 words

"Okay, I've got Beat's interview sorted, and my mailbox is currently empty," Zoé announced, and plopped down onto the couch next to Loïc. "Which means we have one wonderful half-day before I have to leave to Zurich for the presentation of the new suit next week."

"I like the sound of that," Loïc said without taking his eyes off the photo on the screen of his laptop. He hovered over it with the mouse before clicking the next picture. "So, what's it going to be?"

"That's what I'm asking you," Zoé answered, and snuggled closer to him, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Though definitely not an afternoon on the couch reviewing photos."

"Damn," Loïc said. "That would have been my first suggestion."

"Nice try. Next!"

Loïc hummed, and chewed on his lip while scrolling through his camera roll. "Walk around the lake?"

Zoé shrugged. "Or?"

Loïc thought for a moment. "Trip with the gondola next to the lake, and then walk to that restaurant with that cheese platter you like so much?"

"Or?"

"Rent bikes and go for the downhill-route?"

Zoé thought for a moment. "I think I'd rather do something around the lake."

"Want to rent standup boards and paddle to that gelateria?"

Zoé's eyes lit up. "That's it! You're a genius!"

Loïc grinned at her, and finally closed his laptop. "I know."

Zoé rolled her eyes, and stood up again. "Don't let it go to your head. I'll need two minutes to change." Loïc's phone started ringing, and he picked it up. When she came back, he was still listening intently to the person at the other end, a worried look on his face. She waited anxiously as he finished the call.

"What happened?"

Loïc stared at his phone, a look of utter confusion on his face. "I…don't really know," he said. "But we have to make a detour before going to the lake. That was Justin. He needs my help."

Zoé looked at him dumbfounded. "Why didn't you tell him that you're not at your home?"

"I did! But he's not in Valais either. He's here, in Lenzerheide."

"What?" Zoé exclaimed.

-----

The address Justin had given lead them to one of the new residential blocks at the other end of the village. The earth around the building was still brown and soft, the lawn not yet grown in, and some of the windows still had the labels attached.

Zoé frowned as they looked up. "That's typical," she muttered. "These flats were supposed to be main residences only. But I'm sure you can already find them on Air B'n'B. What floor?"

"Second," Loïc answered, and they entered the building. The staircase smelled of fresh paint, and some of the light switches were only a hole in the wall, with wires sticking out.

"Why did he call you, anyway?" Zoé asked somewhere in the middle. "Why not Gino? He's from here after all."

"I have no clue," Loïc answered, and waited for her at the top of the stairs. "I think it's that one," he said, and pointed at a door with an empty name plate.

"It's open!" someone yelled from the inside after Loïc had pushed the bell.

Carefully, as if they were expecting something dangerous, they entered the apartment. It was bright and clean, though sparsely furnished, with all the charm of a soulless vacation rental.

"Justin?" Loïc asked.

"Bedroom," Justin's voice echoed through the flat. "Second door down the hallway."

"Can you finally tell us what's going on?" Loïc asked as he walked towards said door. "You've had Zoé and me really worried."

"Wait, Zoé's here?" Justin yelled, and his voice rose half an octave. "Don't let her in!"

"Justin, what's going on?" Zoé asked.

"Don't come in!" Justin begged.

Loïc grabbed the door handle, and looked at her. "Let me do it."

Zoé shook her head but acquiesced, and took a step back. "Just…be careful."

Loïc smiled. "I'm sure it's nothing." He pushed the handle down. "I'm coming in," he announced, and slipped through the door. For a few moments, silence filled the flat. Then, Loïc's voice boomed through the apartment. "Holy JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH!"

-----

"Can you walk us through again? What was your…reasoning?"

Justin frowned and, with immense effort, managed to raise his head from the pillow to stare daggers at Loïc. He was still resting immobile on the bed, with all four of his limbs spread apart as far as possible.

"I told you!" he snarled. "Also, stop laughing!"

It was not clear whether he wore any clothes at all because a thin blanket was spread over his chest and ended just shortly below his junk. Every square inch of skin that was visible underneath was a screaming, painful red that made anyone who looked at it wince in sympathy.

Loïc cleared his throat. "I'm not laughing," he said, though he kept his hand not very casually in front of his mouth.

"I don't really get it," Zoé butted in.

"What's not to get?" Justin hissed. "I fell asleep while sunbathing."

"That I understand. It's everything else that's confusing. So you didn't tell Gino because…"

"He and Odi would die from laughter. Also, they would tell everyone."

"But you're actually here because you wanted to spend the weekend together. But you're not bunking in his flat because…"

"It's small, and his couch is really uncomfortable."

"But you didn't call off your visit because…"

"It didn't hurt that much when I left Bagne but now it does and can you please stop fucking bugging me and go buy that balm? Please?"

Loïc and Zoé looked at each other.

"What would you have done if I had not been at Zoé's?" Loïc continued the interrogation. "And, when we're already at it, why do you think I won't tell everyone?"

Justin huffed in exasperation. "I don't know because I just knew you'd be here. And I trust you, though I'm starting to get second thoughts. Also, you're together with Zoé, so you're kinda bound to her contractual clauses too. In a way."

"My contractual clauses?" Zoé asked.

Justin sighed, clearly annoyed that they still had not left for the supermarket but unable to force them to hurry up. "You know, in your duty as team-support."

Zoé blinked a few times. "I'm a public-relations manager, not a doctor!" she eventually said, and with every word she got louder and louder until she almost yelled. "And my support-duties are supposed to be at the races only! There's no clause in my contract that handles…this!" She waved her hands at the pitiful picture of Justin.

Loïc had lowered his hand, and showed his grin now without shame. "Also, as media manager she's actually supposed to be the opposite of discrete."

"Oh God…" Justin groaned, and banged his head down into the pillow. "Please! Just…"

He did not finish the sentence.

Zoé sighed, and turned away from him. "I'm not getting paid enough for this," she muttered, and pulled Loïc out of the room.

"We'll be back in ten minutes," Loïc yelled over his shoulder, and they left Justin where they had found him.

-----

When they had finally left Justin for good, it was too late to rent a paddle board, and they went straight to the ice cream shop down by the lake. Zoé looked over the display, and ordered two scoops of the lemon-liqueur sorbet.

"I needed that," she sighed, and took the first lick while the cashier still rang her up. "You know, Jérôme never has these problems with the women. They're all mature and sensible."

"Sounds boring," Loïc smiled as they walked towards a free table. Zoé snorted. They sat down, and enjoyed their ice cream, and the remainder of their free time together while looking out over the lake. Sail boards with colourful sails rushed over the dark surface of the lake, pushed by the near-constant wind blowing down from the mountains.

"Next time," Loïc said when he saw Zoé's longing look, and stroked her hand.

"I know," she smiled.

At first, they did not register the cries. The shore was crowded with tourists in, on, and near the water; someone was bound to shout at any time. Only when it came closer did they realise that someone was shouting their names.

"Loïc! Hey! Zoé!"

"Is that…?" Loïc asked.

Marco kept waving at them until he was almost close enough to take a bite out of their ice cream. "I didn't know you're here," he beamed. He was barefoot and in swim shorts, and his wet hair hung in streaks over his forehead.

"Same, actually, "Loïc said. "Are you here with Gino?"

"Yes, he's just returning the surfboards," Marco answered, and looked over to the rental place. "Such a pity. We could have gone surfing together. Gino, over here!"

Gino's face lit up when he recognised them at the table, and he hurried over. "You're here too?"

Zoé shrugged. "Well, actually, not for much longer. I have to prepare some stuff for next week down in Zurich."

Gino nodded. "The new suit. Mauro told us."

"But you're staying, right?" Marco asked Loïc.

"I don't know," Loïc said, "I thought that I might go home…"

"Come on," he begged. "Justin's coming for a visit on Sunday, we can do something together, the whole group." He delved into a discussion about things they might do on Sunday with Gino, and neither of them saw the hard stare Loïc and Zoé threw each other over their ice creams.

“But at least stay for dinner, okay?” Gino eventually turned back to Loïc. “Mauro’s here too. We could meet up at that Pizza place near the centre.”

“Mauro?” Zoé asked. “I thought the downhill-group was in the other valley for the week?”

Gino shrugged. “I don’t know. We just saw the car drive past on the road. That’s why we returned the boards, actually. My apartment is still full with his stuff, and I want to finally get rid of some of it.”

“I didn’t know he moved.”

“Yes, in one of those new blocks towards the pass, near the golf court.” This time, Loïc dropped his spoon, and Zoé choked on a piece of sorbet but again neither Marco nor Gino seemed bothered.

“But he cancelled his old apartment before the new one was really finished, and he’s been storing stuff with the whole family since,” Gino explained, and seemed a bit vexed. “He didn’t tell me he’d come home over the weekend. It’s not like I have space to spare for his Raclette-oven and other junk.”

“Actually, you know what? I think I’ll…” Loïc piped up before buckling over the table as Zoé jerked in her chair. “ouch…I’ll take you up on that dinner.” He smiled at them. “Also, if you want I can…ow…take some of Mauro’s stuff in my car.”

-----

Mauro chuckled, and tenderly followed the bright outline of the pattern with his finger.

“I’m still not sure but that’s either the dumbest thing you’ve ever done…” Justin hissed and squirmed as his finger strayed too far.

“Not there!” he whined. Mauro laughed, and leant further over the bed, taking pains to avoid any burnt patch on Justin, and kissed him.

“Dumbest thing or what?” Justin asked when they broke apart again. He was still laying on the bed but the blanket was gone, and his entire skin from head to toe had an oily sheen of the ointment Loïc and Zoé had brought. Mauro smiled, and looked at the crooked M and J inside a heart on Justin’s chest that stood up almost white from the aggressive red covering the rest of his body.

“Or the most romantic,” he concluded. “Maybe you could have made something like a template? Then you could have slathered everything but the pattern with sunscreen instead of the other way around.”

“I didn’t exactly have an extended planning phase,” Justin groaned.

Mauro guffawed but bit down on his lip when Justin’s annoyed look landed on him.

 “I was just resting after the training and I thought it would look fun. I only wanted to stay for a few minutes but then I fell asleep, and next thing I know two hours had passed. God, how am I supposed to meet Gino and Odi on Sunday? I can barely move out of bed.”

Mauro softly sank down on the bed until he laid next to Justin, who still hissed with every move of the cover.

“Well, Sunday’s still two days away,” Mauro said, and kissed his temple. “Which means I have you to myself for one whole day. That should be enough time to get you back on your feet.”

Justin closed his eyes and leant into the touch with a soft sigh. “I love you,” he mumbled.

“And I love you,” Mauro smiled. “My lovely rotisserie chicken.”

The sound of the brand new doorbell echoed through the half-empty flat, and Mauro leaped a foot in the air before scrambling out of the bed. Justin’s cries of pain drowned in the noise suddenly filling the apartment, the door banging open, and the shuffling of feet that carried something heavy.

“Sorry, can’t wait for you to open up!” Gino yelled. “I’m carrying your stupid multifunctional Raclette-oven and I don’t want to drop this thing on the ground. How can this be so heavy?”

He stopped once he reached the bedroom door, his eyes turned wide as he took in the situation, and in the end the oven did land on the floor.

[fixeddawn]

Boy do I love this blog so, so much.

Was there a New Moon in the AU? Or did Bella put a stop to that nonsense immediately.

(Spoilers for the story Clotho (The Moirai Saga) ahead, beware!)

Edward: "Okay so what had happened was-"

-Bella and Alice appear, shoving him out of the way with a squeak-

Alice: "GURL YOU KNOW HE'S STILL AN IDIOT."

Bella: "I- ugh, I tore him a new asshole when he told me he didn't actually love me, and he got me FUCKED up, but he still left. It was rough, especially when my powers started acting up and I started having panic attacks and meltdowns. The wolf pack over here is a bunch of different families, all somewhat Irish, they're descendants of the people of Ossory. Jakes grand-dad immigrated here in the 60's. Actually, OI, JACOB-"

-Jacob shoves into the room, but knocks his head on the doorframe on the way in.-

Jake: "FUCK. Finally man, the Boyz can talk!

Bella: "Eagan (Embry) Got you saying that now too, huh?"

Jake: "Ye, it's funnier. Anyway, shit happened WAY different than in the original plot line. Bella and I still got to be friends, and she hung out with my fam a lot, we have massive bonfires cause my dads the youngest of eight kids.

I helped her find her own place actually! My auntie had a 2 bedroom 2 bath house for rent cheap and she took it on the promise of painting it and shit. Of course then she got mixed up in all of our chaos, especially with the pub my dad runs in town, we got the Blacks, and the O'Clearys and the Udys, three old bloodlines. Bella actually found out about the pack by accident, I uh...I had a massive crush on her and she wasn't ready and stuff got tense and I just...poof, y'know?"

Bella: -makes exploding hand gesture- "Poof."

Jake: "Paul didn't like it at first but she became a member of the pack, we don't really imprint like...romantically, it's super rare, but mostly we imprint familial-y, Bella kept helping Emily cook and clean up and deal with a bunch of rowdy guys. (we got put to work too, don't worry) And she just meshed. She also became our field medic. It got so bad that if we weren't at The Farm, we were probably sprawled out on Bella's living room couch and floor, passed out.

Bella: "It was like snow white and the 7 goofy werewolves, it was great. Leah disliked me at first, but she still went through that thing with Sam, so she was struggling. We actually bonded over the whole "Fuck having a supernatural Ex" thing. Girls gotta support each other, you know? She and Emily also made up with a little time. When I was having my nightmares, facing all the shit that was going down alone and helpless, I told her about them. She's a professional kickboxer! She's fucking badass!! I begged her to train me and kept shoving cash at her until she let me hire her. I was USELESS at first, but she ran me hard, and eventually I could even hold my own in a fight against (human) Seth! All the while, Jake here was finding it hard to keep it in his pants, but he was really my rock, I tried to do everything I could to support him through his change and the aftermath, but it...well. You know who I married. -she cringes, Jake puts an arm around her shoulder for a rough squeeze and a small smile, obviously forgiving-

Jake: My crush was hard man, it still is low-key, (J: 👀 B: 😑) but...well, her panic attacks were still coming. And one night we were dancing, and I...well..."

Bella: "We kissed, I was so desperate to move on, feel something else, but I panicked. It wasn't right."

Jake: "She bolted from the party, ran into the woods, I remember screaming, and then this awful earsplitting sound, and a shockwave.

Bella: "....I kinda, blew down like 30 square feet of the forest around me. Thats when I realized all the popping lightbulbs and shaking surfaces weren't earthquakes...but, well, me. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had. So now, my vampire Bf dumped me, my best friend is a werewolf, and I can fuck shit up with my mind on accident when I'm highly emotional. Queue complete mental breakdown."

Jake: "...Then the redhead showed up."

Bella: "Victoria...she killed my coworker, my friend, horribly, gave him the same injuries James did to send the message. We realized she would start going after the people I was close to if she couldn't get to me. I pretty much hunkered down at The Farm after that, the pack did rounds and tried to protect so much land...I was terrified someone was going to get hurt. When she attacked The Farm, we were blindsided. She caught Seth around his chest and almost crushed him. I was terrified, I managed to use one of my "Bubbles" to blow her away from both of us so I could get him to safety and reset his ribs."

Alice: "And all 𝘐 saw was victoria closing in on Bella from above for a third of a second, when she let out her bubble, so, ofc, I thought she was dead and immediately bolted back to Pullman. Everyone else came too, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper... We were so shocked Victoria went after her and 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴.

"We found out, when we arrived at her apartment and she was still alive and being guarded by werewolves, that it was because my dumbass brother never gave her my goodbye letter, and lied to both sides about his intentions for what happened that day in the woods. He told the family he was going to tell her the truth, that he was going to take himself away from the situation and see if she couldn't move forward, if she couldn't have a human life. Not that he was going to lie to her that he "found out it was infatuation and not love" or whatever the fuck the Drama-King decided made sense. -steps hard on Edward, he squeaks mournfully-

"Emmett and Jazz were about ready to hunt him down for not giving her a way to contact the family, Esme was devastated that Bella thought we'd just abandoned her, Rose was...well, rose, and Carlisle and I were dissapointed, (mine was more on the murder side tho.)

Bella: "We really didn't think it could get much worse, but Edward's creative."

Alice: "Rose calls him to tell him Vicky killed Bella, because EMMETT NEVER FUCKING CALLED HER. Edward flies into a fucking rage tantrum and ofc, goes to italy. When I told her what was happening, Bella was 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥, like, walls shaking, lightbulbs popping pissed, and tbh I kinda wanted to see her kick his twink ass."

Bella: "...The emotions were wild. Rage, betrayal, relief, fear, it was such a jumble. When we got there, saved him, and got passed the volturi, we stayed overnight- well, over𝘥𝘢𝘺 in one of the dorm room things. I was still in my funeral dress and nylons and had lost my shoes, so they let me shower and sleep. First however, I laid into Ed. I wasn't going to carry the weight of "if I accidentally die, I'm gonna be the fuckin reason Edward is taken from his family too." Especially not as a Human. I informed him he was going to come home, apologize, take his lumps, and cope. He was a grown ass man and he needed to act like one and clean up the mess he made."

Edward, from the floor, muffled: "Safe to say, I learned my lesson. My self flagellation and pity-party was immature at best, destructive at worst. I apologized to Bella and my family, and did not yet ask for forgiveness, just for the opportunity to prove that I 𝘩𝘢𝘥 learned something from all of this."

Bella: "...We didn't get back together at first. I couldn't trust him, and he obviously did not trust me or my feelings. But I still loved him. When he was there for me and recognized/supported my autonomy, over a little bit of time I was able to trust him again. I think we both grew a LOT during the experience, and while it sucked the whole time, it was also a catalyst for better things to come. Jake was upset, at first, but we had a long and hard talk. Honestly about what I was able to give to a friendship and if it would be enough for him. He eventually decided, that it was. We still bro's. He even made friends with Edward."

Jake: -Grins and steps on Edwards head. Edward growls and rolls over to drag him to the ground. The boys play-wrestle in the background, though it looks less playful than others. Growling, gnashing, and the word 'fuck' is heard often from the fray.-

Alice: "Idiots."

Bella: "The Cullens and the wolves actually bonded as Esme and Sam strategized about the newborn war. We're not "natural enemies" after all, just smelly to alert the other we're in the area. So Jake and the pack and I are still close as ever. "

"Sorry if this was long winded, but it deserved an explanation! I'm gonna go break the boys up now, thanks for your question!"

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

omg so I read this manga this morning called Sesame Salt and Pudding and it’s ab this 22 y/o girl who gets drunk and accidentally marries a stranger, who happens to be 42. it’s the cutest lil slice of life just a really healthy relationship and all i could think was this would be the funniest meet cute for Erwin.

Thanks for linking me the manga website anon omfg you're a real one💙🐛

Alright so below is my 1am thoughts while reading it as i listen to a daddy/mommy issues playlist i found online and drinking green apples monster energy.

Tw: mentions of sex | Tw: suggestive words

Chapter one

The girl is really pretty, I'm really gay.

Wait so she married him while drunk and now can't remember anything?

This lowkey does look like Erwin without gel in his hair

...why can i see Erwin as the type of drunk to not only sign a wedding registration paper but also demand both of you must go get wedding ware, paying for your dress or suit.

Consent 👏yes👏100%👏the bare minimum👏Erwin values consent above literally anything else👏Erwin wouldn't touch you without permission even while drunk out of his mind👏again it's the bare minimum👏

An older dude that cooks & cleans while staying home as i go out and provide for us? This is my dream. Stay at home husband Reiner stay at home husband Reiner stay at ho

Ngl i think Erwin wouldn't know anything past basic cooking despite him reading all these cooking books and watching videos, i think if he really was dedicated he'd sign up for a cooking class go get high level skills just to impress you but treat it like it's nothing

...he didn't wanna stare at her chest so he went to clean the fridge- Erwin would def be that kind of gentleman to change his own attitude instead of ever telling you to change or cover up.

I love her job oh my god yes.

Ooo a love rival huh👀 is this gonna turn into a triangle situation

The only love rival I'd ever see for Erwin is Nile tbh, like i think if it was Miche, Hange or Levi then he'll talk it out and either him or the person backs off.

He gets gloomy when jealous huh~

THIS IS FUNNIER THAN IT HAS ANY RIGHT TO BE DOAKDJKAKSN I CAN'T.

I can't even imagine Erwin's reaction if you said this to him, like he won't even be mad he would just be really taken back, standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️...he'd even be amused.

Okay- okay this is a good reaction...I think Erwin would say something similar but rephrase it to he more subtle yet somehow making it sound dirtier.

Something along the lines of, "well, if you're so sure then why don't you find out yourself."

And "after all i can't deny that i haven't thought about how beautiful looked last night...how the more beautiful you would've looked laying down."

"You looked like a really delicious treat"

"All pretty and alone, tearing about your worries, i just wanted to make you forget them all and leave the rest to me"

I should stop-

Chapter two

HE SAID HE IS HER UNCLE I CAN'T BREATHE I LOVE THIS

Oh shit he overhead them oh shit

Shit is going down oh god

Man if it was Nile in this hypothetical insert then he'd be hold this information like the petty bitch he is and use it at the date instead.

Chapter three

Ngl dude, i really hate it when they treat it like a women's reputation is all she has. I especially hate the purity culture of that a young women can't be a roommate with a man because "what will people say" like...if they're fucking who cares and if they aren't literally who cares? Do they realise gay people exist too and two women have an equal chance of sleeping together too?

It feels like they treat women as children, maybe I'm just projecting bc i live in a similar kind of culture where all these rules apply here if not more.

Anyway that manga is cute, it just angred me that these two men think they're responsible for solving her problem or as if they have any right to scold her or be angry like she's some kind of child and should listen.

It's her life, it's her problem and it's her who will solve it.

DUDE SHUT THE FUCK UP. he's really acting like a bitch as if he has any right to be angry or even judge her oh my god.

"Impure background..." Get fucked.

The only ONLY reason he even can be angry is because she didn't mention being married while they were going for a date but they didn't even go on that date and nothing was official so why does she have to tell him her private life.

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG HUGE RED FLAG

"get divorced immediately" HUGE FUCKING RED FLAG

Controlling Insecure cunt.

I'm sorry anon that I'm really going off on him and I'm sorry if you like him- it's just that i really really can't stand these things

THE MANGA IS LOVELY THO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RECOMMENDING IT I'D LOVE MORE WHENEVER💜

Oh baby, oh angel I'm so sorry you had to go through that, in no way is it ever right to get angry and yell no matter what especially since you apologised and admitted to your mistake.

Especially since he knew it was something you did while drunk and deeply regret it but he still took out his angry on you like you betrayed his trust when you weren't even together or like you intentionally did it.

Narcissistic dick.

I'm not talking about the next scenes because it might be triggering.

Chapter five

4 is missing :( idk how her parents visit went

We just started the chapter and-

Fuck her. Like what's up with toxic abusive people being too comfortable saying these things lmao like they actually take themselves seriously omfg.

Imagine saying this about Erwin tho, like it feels powerful to say. John maloney was right after all huh

Oh

Oh

So we doing this huh

👀

....oh :( we were just getting to the god part, man Erwin wouldn't have let a phone stop him.

Also bless the translator for their note at the end, it's good we're seperating fiction from reality and clarifying things to people on how to act in these scenarios.

Like drama is fun and all, I'm a huge sucker being extra, but things are different in real life and using fiction as a guide to how to deal with these, clearly written to be extra, situations should never ever be anyone's first choice.

Well that's all the 10 images tumblr will allow me in one post, i hope you had fun anon because i sure did! And i can definitely see this as a sweet wholesome Erwin/reader story, and if i ever did a an inspired rewriting of that manga with Erwin i can definitely see it being really fun to write!

Although i will change some stuff like that guy, i know people have good and bad sides but the guy specifically made me uncomfortable for personal reasons, i also Don't like mentioning serious things like anger controlling issues without diving deep into them.

Imma go finish the manga, if you want a part two, or have a different thing to recommend, please let me know💙

[fatal-rewrites-warriors]

chapter 28

rats,,,,,

they describe sandstorm cleaning patchfoots shoulder wound with strong locks but wouldnt that make it worse because a cats tongue is barbed? itd make more sense if it were gentler licks

I dont care for the rats tbh

literally why is sharpclaw wanting nine lives an issue! the guy isnt a bad leader!!

is there actually a difference between rat bites and other bites that affects the wound differently? I should look that up

see this is the bullshit I'm talking about re: starclan. these motherfucks can just appear in front of anyone they want and we're expected to believe they have limited power and some cats can turn atheist?? fuck you

Spottedleaf go away challenge

imagine being jealous of your own dead aunt who apparently had a crush on your husband when he was twelve

THEN WHY SRE YOU HERE YOURE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THERE WAS NOTGING IM

and like the implication that they absolutely would've boned if Spottedleaf hadn't been a med cat is kinda iffy and also like. why would that comfort sandstorm.

I hate that he tells sandstorm that he loves her the most but the Erin's double killed Spottedleaf so that firestar "wouldnt need to choose between them"

W H A T

this is so fucking insulting to sandstorm. why did the authors think this was okay.

I like how skywatcher is like "what good would telling you about the rats have done" well if they'd been expecting them, then maybe patch foot wouldn't have nearly died because they would've been more alert in that part of the territory

okay well now I'm getting mixed signals. sometimes firestar is like "gross kittypets" and sometimes hes like "some cats are more suited to that life uwu" like sir make up your fucking mind

there would be nothing fucking funnier to me than if oscar HAD been the skyclan med cat

I read chapter 29 without realizing it so pretend I put that break in there somewhere

[my-soul-sings]

I had this scenario in mind and I can't stop laughing about it.

Taehee and Yooha: *arguing as usual*

Taehee:*loses his shit and throws an apple at yooha*

MC, reading a book about ancient Greece: Did you know that in ancient Greece, a way of proposing marriage was to toss an apple?

Taehee: .......

It was just business as usual in the house. Biho dozing off on the couch while holding a book, Hansol had gone out to do some busking with his band, and you were scrolling through Wannabe on your phone in the living room, trying to think of a concept for your new post.

The keyword: ‘trying’.

“For the last time! If you’re going to leave your half-empty wine bottles in the cellar, at least seal them properly! Now there are ants in the kitchen cabinets! Happy?” Taehee’s shouting echoed throughout the apartment, and you winced at the tone in his voice. It was loud enough to even make Biho stir in his sleep.

“Calm down, they’re just ants. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of them?”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about! This is about you being irresponsible and messy and—” You promptly tuned out the nagging, while you shook your head and sank further into the couch.

It was easy to describe the kind of person Taehee was: nice, gentle and mild-mannered. He rarely wore his emotions on his sleeve, being the type to keep his feelings bottled up inside while plastering a convincingly courteous smile on his face. You couldn’t recall a time when you had ever made him angry, not even when he saw the state of your room on the last Cleaning Day (you had forgotten to clean before his routinely inspection).

But things changed ever since Yooha arrived. It was like the fox knew exactly how to push all of Taehee’s wrong buttons. Every. Single. Day. It was like he was doing it on purpose, and you wouldn’t put it past him; the fox seemed amused by Taehee’s outbursts sometimes... or maybe it was just his default smug expression that made it seem like that.

Their fights were gradually becoming more and more common, and all you, Hansol and Biho could do was tune them out whenever they argued. The thing was, you knew this couldn’t go on forever. It had to end, for the sake of everyone’s sanity in this house. At this rate, you wouldn’t be surprised if one day their fight escalated into a physical brawl—and if goblin fire was thrown into the mix, the entire house just might become collateral damage.

Their argument was escalating in the background, and you bit your lip, racking your brains for some sort of solution. You wanted to plan your concept for the next few Wannabe posts in peace.

Yelling at them might work. Getting angry would guarantee an immediate end to their fighting, but that was only a quick fix. You had gotten angry many times before, forcefully breaking them up and sending them to different corners in the house to be quiet and reflect on their behaviour. And yet they continued their bickering like cat and mouse. Clearly, it wasn’t a long-term solution. You needed something more. Something better.

Your eyes fell on the two, studying them. Taehee’s face was growing red, as was Yooha’s. More insults were traded, their voices escalating still even though you thought they had reached their limits.

The rally ended with Yooha’s sheepish admission that he had left some wine bottles open in their room and that there were probably ants in Taehee’s bed by now.  

Even you gasped at that. And it was obvious in Taehee’s darkened eyes that he had reached breaking point.

It all happened in slow motion. The vengeful goblin reached for the basket of apples on the kitchen island, his fingers curling around the red fruit so tightly that its juice might come out. Then with exceptional grace, he drew his hand back and released the fruit from its grasp.

And then the apple was airborne, its trajectory a straight line towards the centre of the fox’s face.

Even Yooha’s reflexes couldn’t save him from this one. The apple pelted him right in the nose, and the smacking sound was audible even from where you were on the couch. Yooha’s groan was quick to follow, along with a string of curses.

You snapped to your senses. Enough was enough, you had to break this up now, before further damage was done. This was the first time their fight had gotten physical, and you weren’t sure if this meant irreparable damage had been dealt to their friendship—if you could even call it that.

In your panic, you racked your brains for a solution. You were already walking towards them, and you only had a few steps before you would be confronting them. There had to be something you could do other than blow up at them.

As your eyes darted back and forth between the apples and the two men who were now just having a death-stare match, your mind somehow directed you to a recent post you saw on Wannabe, something to do with apples...

It was the last thing that lingered on your mind when their attention fell to you, the sheer hatred and fury in their eyes making you nervously blurt out without thinking, “D-Did you know that in ancient Greece, people proposed by throwing an apple at their lovers?”

Silence. All you got was painful, excruciating silence. Mentally, you were kicking yourself for speaking without thinking. It sounded a lot better in your head for sure, but the execution... probably not the best timing considering the predicament they were in.

Well, if anything, at least their anger was now being replaced by confusion as they registered your words. Taehee looked at his hand—the culprit that had committed assault—and as the realisation of what he had just done sank into him, you watched as his features gradually contort into horror.

“Hey, I think you’re misunderstanding our relationship—” Yooha began in an incredulous tone. But you couldn’t bear to hear another word, or stay a second longer.

Irresponsible as it was, you fled the scene, leaving the two to pick up the pieces from their spat.

At the very least, the house was quiet again. Although, you doubted you would be able to focus on concept-planning for a while until the embarrassment wore off.

***

A/N: Sorry i took so long to do this ;-; just had two submissions back to back but i’m done so i finally got to work on this! Tbh i think this sounded funnier in my head but after writing it.... well i did my best HAHA i hope it was still relatively decent? Thx for the ask btw hehe <3 <3 

[roguish-gallery]

Can I ask for HCs for what activities the Rogues would partake in if a situation required them to stay at home for a while.

Hello! Of course you can!

I had a lot of fun working on these, so I hope you enjoy them! (and I mean... it’s very topical, so it’s something I think we can all relate to atm) Apologies in advance for any spelling/grammar mistakes!

Rogues + Staying Home HCs!

Bane:

He mostly works out, meditates, and tries to learn at least one new skill.

Tbh he’s gotten pretty fucking good at sewing? Threading the needle is an absolute bitch but he’s glad he can fix his clothes because he hates having to go to the tailor or buy more clothes every time he tries to flex.

Finally… he can make clothes for Osito now...

Catwoman:

Selina finds that time off is a great excuse to tidy up her apartment, and since she’ll be home for longer, she’ll foster all the homeless cats she can find until they get adopted.

She’s pretty behind in all the shows her “rich friends” keep recommending her… so she’ll try and catch up on those.

Definitely the type of person to use this as an excuse to “treat herself”. She has an entire wishlist set aside for this exact reason

Clayface:

He’ll practice impressions in the mirror for like, hours. Celebrities, cartoon characters, it doesn’t matter, he’s bored.

He’ll spend at least a few hours trying to come up with new characters he can disguise himself as. Like, figure out how they talk, move, and what their backstories in case he ever needs to quickly disguise himself.

If he’s with friends, he’ll play a movie he knows everyone will enjoy ripping apart. If he’s alone, he’ll use this opportunity to watch some guilty pleasures he’s normally too embarrassed to acknowledge otherwise.

Harley Quinn:

She HATES being inside for so long :( :( :(

She will literally watch and rewatch everything on tv and on Netflix and just hope and pray that that’s enough to pass the time.

If she’s with someone, she’ll probably start bugging them until they agree to do something with her. Otherwise, she’ll just call up friends and she’ll chat with them for as long as they’re willing. They don’t have to talk about anything in particular, she just likes their company.

Joker:

He also gets stir crazy but like he’s so much worse than Harley is at controlling it.

He’ll use his time inside to draft up more plans to beat the shit outta batman or key Commissioner Gordon’s car. He doesn’t really NEED a super elaborate plan to key Gordon’s car, but the more convoluted it is, the funnier gets.

There’s a 50% chance he kick his foot through the television just to see what will happen and he’ll do that with all the other shit in his hideout until Batman has to come in and stop him, it’s literally:

Killer Croc:

Mostly uses this time to nap. He deserves it.

Might work out a little, but not much.

Works on his art! It would be nice to make something new!

Mad Hatter:

He bakes a lot of sweets, and sews more hats and bowties for himself!

If he’s missing a specific ingredient for the cookies he’s making… well. He’ll just use a substitute! This works for the first few recipes until he’s trying to use olive oil and sour cream as a milk-substitute and he’s like… yeah… he should probably order some groceries when he can. At least he had fun!

He’ll throw on all of the hats and outfits he hasn’t worn recently, and vogue in the mirror for hours, just trying different combinations of clothes. Also! He has consumed so much sugar and sugar-substitutes that he literally cannot fall asleep, so throwing a one-man fashion show is the only way to ride that shit out till he crashes 30 hours later.

Mr. Freeze:

Kdfj;sldkfjslkfj he’s already inside most of the time!!! He just wakes up and looks at his watch like “mmmhhhhmmmmm. Same shit as always.”

Broods. Yearns. Pines. Aches. Languishes.

He’s just glad that with him being stuck home, he can just focus on working on a cure for Nora. Sometimes, he’ll sit next to her and just talk to her till his throat is sore.

Penguin:

He already does this regularly, but he always likes using his extra time inside to go through his finances and records and organize everything thoroughly. Updates what debts he owes others… and what debts others owe him...

Of fucking COURSE he spends time with his birds!!! No time off is complete without spending some of it with his pets!!!

He’s a basic bitch at heart so he WILL take a long-ass bath with his secret stash of boxed wine and he’ll read Wuthering Heights for the 50th fucking time.

Poison Ivy:

Sweatpants, babey!!!!

No makeup! No rules!!! She is going to paint her nails with all of the fun, oversaturated nail polishes that Harley leaves in her lair!!!

Self care for HER, and ALL of her plants! Moisturizing, exfoliating, relaxing! The works!

Riddler:

He’s gonna play video games!!! He will NOT sleep!

If he doesn't want to play games, he’ll do a bit of coding for his own! It’s not something he spends a ton of his free time on, but sometimes it’s really fun to add more stuff to his own game!

If he gets bored, he’ll mess around with any of the puzzles in his lair. Like, he can easily solve a Rubik’s Cube, but it’s more about keeping his hands busy, you know?

Scarecrow:

“Oh? More time to make fear toxin? Alright, then.”

If he isn't fiddling with chemicals, he’ll actually do a little spring cleaning around his lair. Dust places that don’t really get dusted, reorganize his books, FINALLY go through his pantry and throw out the sleeves of crackers that had been in there for 5+ years, and maybe repurpose old clothes he doesn’t wear anymore.

He’ll brew some tea, grab a box of those frosted sugar cookies you buy at the grocery store, and find a quiet spot to read some poetry. The more blankets and pillows he has, the better.

Two-Face:

He’s like Eddie in the sense that he really likes keeping his hands busy. He’ll flip a coin, or goof with some fidget toy he keeps in his desk. It’s minor, but it helps time pass quicker.

He’s actually pretty fond of solitaire, so he’ll park himself in his living room with a deck of cards and some coffee or a beer and knock a few hours out that way.

Harv also likes to comb through his music collection! His playlists are always messy and disorganized but it doesn’t matter to him because it’s all music he likes, anyway! He doesn’t really sing along to anything but he’ll hum and bop his head along to the music.

[ursie]

hazel hcs!! all the hazel hcs!!!

SHE!!!! I live her she’s baby

Ok I haven’t reread Kane chronicles yet but Sadie x Hazel is where it’s at no I will not elaborate

She’s not a great bake or cook she’s not like terrible and can follow a recipe well enough as long as she’s not distracted but she’s not good either. Her cooking w Nico is really more her dancing around the kitchen w him while standing on his feet and eating raw dough

She’s not really into makeup tbh and I think when she gets older she’ll identify as Butch she has a lot of issues w how she views womanhood as so many people’s definition of womanhood doesn’t include her

After coming back from the dead she has attacks of dizziness and fatigue and is a part time wheelchair user (Leo tricked it out)

She also uses wrist braces due to the damage and strain moving sm earth caused her

Traditional therapy doesn’t work for her by itself so Hades/Pluto enrolled her and Nico in different non traditional therapy units like animal therapy, art, writing, and music therapy (the latter they enjoyed the most together)

She loves jazz, blues, old rock, gospel, country, she loves music but nothing is funnier than lil Hazel rocking out to heavy metal while cleaning the stables or something

Despite iding as Butch later on she never cuts her hair as she finds her fro more empowering than any haircut could be personally

She does let Nico paint her nails she hates the feeling the texture of chipped nail polish tho and always removes it that day

She’s a very good short story writer there’s something simple and sweet about her writing, she’s very good at poetry too

She likes to draw she does not have the patience to paint but she is learning

She cannot sew knit any of it everyone tried to teach her but she’d rather die than actually sit still and do it so she makes Nico mend her clothes (she asks and he’s physically incapable of saying no)

She grows up to be a veterinarian!! I don’t know if she marries or anything she’s thirteen but given her complex relationship with her mom and womanhood I don’t think she’d ever have kids I think she’d be a very good Aunt tho

She likes to read even if it takes her forever and once she reads a book she likes she always reads everything by that author before moving on

She’s still learning to fight and she’s powerful but lacks finesse and technique esp in hand to hand and other weapon fighting she’s a much better mage but man does she make up for it in commitment and fighting dirty hand to hand? She fights to win she is scrappy Nico teaches her a lot of Underhanded tricks they have to be they’re tiny

She is tiny she literally never gets any taller she stoped growing at 5’-5’2 and she’s valid!

She works very hard to pick up technology and is a very skilled photographer!!

She’s claustrophobic and scared of the dark so Nico built her a dresser so she wouldn’t have to use a closet and there’s a drawer unit under her bed and under any staircase in any house she’s in. She knows how dangerous the shadows can be

She has a complicated relationship w religion esp due to the nuns ⚠️ abuse but she eventually starts going to church again and she finds it a very healing process (I can def see her converting to Judaism or Islam too as you can find a community and healing in any major and frankly almost all religions)

She’s colorblind as underworld kids see in the dark and therefore their eyes are different therefore they see a different range of colors therefore she’s a colorblind legend

She’s gay she actually ends up having a p good relationship w Hades as Nico already did all the emotional labor for him and is holding a gun to his head, she can drive, she’s actually p good at math, her mind

She’s left handed and cannot use scissors she hates them she is physically incapable of cutting anything it is very trying for her

She likes pineapple on pizza

She’s from the south yes she’s anti grits they exist (she’s very pro sweet tea)

She has a very heavy accent and a def lisp that gets extremely prominent when she gets nervous

She has a tooth gap and she gets glasses when she’s older

Thus was off the top of my head!! I love her!! Baby she’s baby!!

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 15

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- IF YOU WANT TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN THIS IS UPDATED, I THOUGHT I COULD START A TAG LIST SO LET ME KNOW. IF YOU’D RATHER BE NOTICED IN PRIVATE, MESSAGE ME TOO PLEASE!

- THERE IS SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. not a lot. and not super explicit, but just a fair warning.

- this is mostly about Liv and Harry. I hope you still enjoy.

-is this story getting boring? i really really need to know!

- thank you so much for all the asks i get. you guys make me so happy. i cant even explain. thank you forever. i love you!!!

-tbh idk what i think of this chapter meh im not super proud i admit :X

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 15 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

When I woke up, I kept my eyes closed and reached out to find Niall but groaned when I realized I was alone. I didn't remember him trying to wake me up by shaking me or threatening me to do something embarrassing and I ended up thinking I must really have been out of it.

i tried to remember the whole conversation I had with Niall the night before and I shook my head with a sigh, my eyes still closed. I was an idiot. He looked good, he was sweet, and I had been so close to kiss him. That would have been an extremely stupid move. Not only would it ruin our friendship, but just a few hours before that, I was kissing Harry. It was a miracle I had initiated a first kiss, it would have been insane to think I could initiate a second one on the exact same night.

I rolled on myself, ending up in the middle of the bed, on my back, and my eyes fluttered open. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes and finally forced myself out of bed. I was impatient to see Niall but nervous to see Harry. What were we supposed to tell each other? What did that kiss mean anyway? What was the next step? Knowing Harry, these were all useless questions. He was laid-back and never really bothered with labels. I was the total opposite. Everything was so much better when it was clear and said. Still, I didn't want to rush anything and I had no intention to have that kind of serious conversation with him 12 hours after our first kiss.

I took a quick shower and dressed up before brushing my teeth and rushing downstairs. The house was extremely quiet and I frowned, looking through every open door to find someone. I ended up in the kitchen and my heart skipped a beat when I saw Harry making food.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a frown, my lips curled into a smile. "Where is everyone?"

"Oh shit, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast in bed," he let out as toasts popped out of the toaster. "I guess it's ruined."

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well, I apologize."

"No, no!" he argued, shaking his head. "Should have worked a bit faster."

I watched him run around for a few more seconds and he finally put a full plate on the table, placing a very similar one right in front. I took a step closer as he showed me the chair with his hand. We both sat down and I leaned my chin on my hand, my elbow on the table.

"Are you trying to impress me with your cooking skills?" I asked with a smirk.

"Maybe, is it working?" he answered, his lips curling more.

"Maybe."

We started eating and I noticed how we kept glancing at each other. The nervousness I had felt earlier was gone but the thumping of my heart against my rib cage was still present. Perhaps I liked Harry more than I thought.

"So, why are we alone?" I asked after a few minutes of silence, looking up at him.

He did the same and chuckled, leaning against his chair and taking a sip of coffee.

"I sort of asked Niall to take everyone to the beach?" he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

He looked embarrassed and I liked it. I nodded slowly and tried to restrain a chuckle. I didn't even want to know how Niall reacted. I was a bit lost at the way he was acting recently. Sometimes, I felt like he wanted Harry and I to finally be together but some other times, I could swear he still thought Harry would break my heart. Either way, he was respecting his promise to not come between whatever Harry and I had and I was grateful for that.

"And besides breakfast in bed, what else did you have in mind?" I asked curiously, staring at him. "Or maybe you thought we'd stay in bed?"

This time, he laughed and I joined him. He pushed his plate away and took the last sip of his coffee before diving his gaze in mine again.

"Are you trying to get in my pants?"

I didn't answer but laughed and rolled my eyes. The truth was, I wouldn't be against some action. It's been so long since I felt someone's hands on me it was driving me insane. When we had kissed the night before, I could have sworn it had made my whole body throb. It anticipated what could happen and I felt like I disappointed it by not going further. Is that even possible? To disappoint your own body and mind?

"When's the last time you had sex, Harry?" I asked daringly, raising my eyebrows.

My questions surprised it at first and his eyes got bigger but after a few seconds, his lips curled again and he laughed.

"You're really one of a kind." he pointed out, licking his lips. "I don't know, I'm pretty sure I met someone when the tour started?"

I thought he knew how straight forward I was by then but apparently, I could still startle him. Even Niall was surprised by my behavior sometimes, so I didn't think anything bad of it.

"Are you trying to tell me you didn't get into anyone's pants since the tour started?"

"I wanted to but every time I could have, I preferred to stay at the hotel or in the tour bus with a cute brunette who chokes on jello."

"I'm never gonna get out of this one, will I?"

He laughed again and shook his head, moving closer to the table and intertwining his fingers, his hands on the table.

"No, you won't." he pointed out. "You want to know why?"

Every time Harry talked, I was curious to find out what he was going to say next. He knew how to make me smile, he knew how to make me melt, and with an other glance at his hands, I was pretty sure he knew how to make me cum.

"Why?" I wondered, raising my eyebrows as I tried to stop thinking about specific parts of his body.

"Because that's when I realized how much I liked you." he explained, the right corner of his lips curling fondly. "I mean I knew I liked you, I knew I wanted to kiss you, but on that night?" He shrugged. "I don't know, I realized it was more than a stupid little crush. It was more than infatuation. It was stronger."

The traits of my face softened quickly at his words. I was not even sure I deserved this, I was not sure I deserved him, and I felt extremely selfish because I knew I was going to go for it even if my mind was telling me not to. I was going to spend time with Harry, get to know him even better, and maybe even go further.

"You know exactly what to say and when to say it." I just pointed out in a whisper. "Maybe we should go in bed right now."

This time, a loud laughter boomed out of him and the way he closed his eyes was endearing. I stared at the cute crinkles on the corners of his eyes and my gaze traveled down to his perfect lips and straight teeth. Why did a guy so fucking perfect had feelings for someone plain and boring like me? I knew physical appearance was not a criteria, or at least I knew it was less and less important the older you get, but someone like Harry could get anyone. I was pretty sure there were many girls out there who would be a thousand times prettier, smarter and funnier. There were a thousand girls out there who had an amazing personality along with a perfect body. Why was Harry losing his time on me?

"We should go to the lake instead, what do you think?"

I chuckled and nodded, grabbing my mug and taking a sip of my cold coffee to hide the redness of my cheeks.

"Why did you ask me about the last time I had sex?" he questioned after a while. "Are you scared I cheated on you?"

I rolled my eyes again but shook my head.

"No, silly. Even if you had, it clearly wouldn't be cheating." I explained with a shrug. "I just asked because I haven't had sex in so long I can't remember when it happened last."

"That's... impossible. And sad. I mean, how can you not remember?"

If I racked my brain, I thought it was probably with the last person I dated but I just grimaced and shrugged again. It was not worth trying to remember, I was sure about it.

"Maybe I just don't want to."

"I can definitely understand that." He chuckled and nodded. "Okay, go get prepared, I'll clean a bit and we can leave."

He got up and I did the same quickly, walking to him and putting my hands on his shoulders. He had our two plates in hands and I just got on my tiptoes again to kiss him. I didn't make the kiss grow but I closed my eyes, feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

"Unfair." he breathed when I moved back from a few inches. "You did that when both my hands were busy."

I laughed and moved back down on my feet, raising my nose a bit.

"You can use your hands later, Harry."

                                                         ---

I dropped my stuff on the dark sand, putting my phone on my towel and letting my eyes roam on the lake as soon as we got there. Harry stood next to me but quickly took his shirt off, sending me an amused smile. I tried to keep my eyes up into his but ended up glancing down at his chest, making him laugh.

"It's a bit unfair, you know?" he asked jokingly with an other chuckle. "You keep this shirt on but I'm dying to see you without it."

I felt both my cheeks turn a soft shade of red and cleared my throat looking away. I was so insecure about my body that even being in a swimsuit bothered me, and somehow, I was sure he could tell. We both knew I was nothing like the girls he usually hangs out with, even less the girls he dates, and i tried to push away the thought that crawled evilly in my head. What if this was all a big fat joke? Or worse, what if he pitied me enough to give me that kind of attention, at least for a while?

"Are you scared of what i'll think of you?" he asked with a small frown, looking concerned. "Because you really don't have to."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, taking a step closer to the lake until my toes were in the water. How could I explain this to him without sounding desperate for compliments?

"All the girls here look amazing, I mean, have you seen Maya?" I just asked rhetorically, raising my eyebrows but still avoiding his gaze. "All the girls you've been with are models, Harry. I'm not stupid and I read gossips."

We remained silent for a few minutes and i held my breath when I saw him move from the corner of my eyes. He stopped behind me and he was so close I could feel the warmth of his body on mine, making my heartbeats accelerate. Gently, he brought his hands to my shoulders and lets his fingertips brush on the skin of my arms. I felt goosebumps appear on my skin but tried to remain motionless. One of his hands moved back slowly, pushing  my hair over one of my shoulders and I felt his breath on my neck.

"You don't have to take it off if you don't want to." he whispered, his lips barely touching my neck. "But I promise I love all of you."

I knew the word was random but I felt my whole body stiffen when he said 'love'. We were far from reaching that stage but I just kept quiet and licked my lips, keeping my bottom one between my teeth. He trailed kisses on my neck and my eyes fluttered close as I tilted my head to give him better access. I hadn't been touched in so long, whether it was sexually or romantically, and I was craving his touch more than I wanted to admit.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." he breathed close to my ear again.

I nodded and felt his arms wrap loosely around me. I sucked my belly in when his hands slipped under my shirt and all I could think about was that he was used to flat stomachs and firm bodies. When was the last time I actually exercised? Months ago, probably?

"Please, relax." he let out in a murmur. "You're perfect."

I felt his hands move up again and reach my breasts, bringing an intense throbbing between my legs. It was sad but I could already feel myself get excited and I cursed at myself mentally for that while I shut my eyes tighter.

"Do you know how many times I thought about touching you?"

His voice was slightly huskier and my lips parted at the sound. I didn't know where to focus anymore and when he reached up for the straps of my bathing suit, I knew I was fucked.

"You're not gonna fuck me here, Harry, are you?"

He chuckled low and I felt him shake his head.

"No, I just want to touch you."

I felt his fingertips run on my breasts and stop on my nipples and he took a step closer. He was so close I could feel his half-hard cock rub slightly and gently against my ass and it made me swallow hard. I hadn't touched myself since... since Niall caught me. My eyes opened suddenly and I glanced at my phone, moving slightly in Harry's arms.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked as his hands stopped moving over me.

I tried not to think about my best friend and I finally turned around, feeling his hands slip out of my shirt. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders and took a step back, sending him a smile.

"I think we should swim a bit."

He sent me an amused smile and shook his head as I chuckled.

"You're rare, Olivia." he let out loud enough to be sure i'd hear. "You know that, right?"

I laughed again and shrugged, turning around and getting completely in the water, immersing my head for a few seconds as I tried to calm the beatings of my heart. I liked Harry, then why did I always end up thinking about Niall? After all, I stood no chance with him while Harry was ready to let me in and give me a chance. A chance I was not sure I deserved.

When I got my head out to get air, I noticed Harry very close to me. He smiled at me fondly and pulled me closer. I expected the kiss as his warm lips pressed on mine and slowly, I brought my arms around his neck and felt his hands on my back, over my shirt.

"You know that half my bathing suit is just... hanging down." I pointed out as I laughed against his mouth. "Fortunately, I have a shirt."

"Or unfortunately, depends who you ask." he replied as we both laughed. "You can always just take it off. Ever been skinny dipping?"

I moved my face away slightly and shook my head.

"No!" I let out a bit too loud. "You remember we kissed for the first time yesterday, right?"

He sent me a smirk and shrugged.

"Would you rather take your time?"

My smile faltered a bit and finally turned into a loving one. I licked my lips and brought them back on his, wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. I could feel his wet hair tickle my shoulders and neck and I loved it.

"No." I admitted in a whisper after a few more kisses. "In fact, I want all this to go quicker."

He laughed a bit against my mouth and his pulled me closer, hugging me against his body.

"That can be arranged."

He brought me out of the water, still kissing me deeply, and I noticed our height difference when my feet met the sand again. i felt his lips detach from mine slowly and I groaned low, making him laugh.

"Are you always impatient like that?" he wondered, placing a towel around me , making sure it covered all of me before rubbing his hands on my arms to warm me.

"No."

My answer made his lips curl more and he held out his hand for me. I stared at it a few seconds before slipping my fingers in it. When he squeezed my hand in his and pulled on my arm to incite me to follow him, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"I'm special, then?" he questioned, glancing at me, as we walked back to the lodge.

"Perhaps."

I felt like the walk back took an eternity but when he closed the sliding door behind us, I brought my shoulders closer to my face, keeping the towel around my body. The AC was on and I shivered a few times.

"I think I'll go take a hot shower." I just said, sending him a small smile.

I left the bathroom's door open and he waited for me, sitting on the bed, as I tried to warm myself under the hot stream of water. I held myself against the wall and allowed myself to think about Niall and wondered what he was doing.

I got out and looked at the clothes I brought with me intensely and for a while. I was torn between dressing up completely or partially and I could feel my heartbeats throb all over my body. I was nervous and scared but I wanted this and I knew I would regret it if I didn't do it. There was nothing worse than regretting not doing something. I decided to just wear my panties and a dry shirt and breathed in deeply before getting back in the room. Harry looked up and his lips curled immediately at my sight. I liked the feeling and I took a few steps closer, stopping right in front of him. He looked up at me and we stared at each other for a few seconds.

"You have no idea how bad I wanted to join you."

His words made me smile and slowly, I put one of my knees on the bed next to his thigh before doing the same with the other, straddling him. I brought my hands up to cup his face and kissed him deeply. I felt his fingers graze my naked thighs and whimpered low in his mouth.

"I wouldn't have minded." I confessed in a breath, letting one of my hands slip in his hair.

He tasted just as good as the day before and his lips were sweet, the taste of caramel still lingering on his tongue, and I ended up thinking that I would be fine with tasting this all my life. The thought scared me and excited me at the same time, making my heart jump so high in my chest that I felt it in my throat.

I gripped the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head with difficulty. I thought it would make him laugh but he looked up at me and his eyes roamed on my face. I felt slightly anxious but I didn't move as I watched his lips part slightly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked softly, placing his warm palms on my thighs. "We can wait you know, as long as you want."

"I really don't want to wait." I said without hesitation, feeling my heart beat harder.

My heart swelled and I had to swallow the lump in my throat when his hands reached for the bottom of my shirt. I tried to concentrate on the skin of his chest and the form of his tattoos but all i could think about was his hands bringing my shirt up slowly and the way his impatient eyes ran on me. My shirt ended up on the floor and I held my breath again when his hands brushed slowly on my sides.

"Fuck."

He pushed my hair gently over my shoulders and let his hands travel down to my breasts again.

"Why didn't we do this before?" he whispered mostly to himself.

My lips curled a bit on the left, remembering that I had asked myself the same question when we had kissed the night before. After all, I had the right to be happy, didn't I? And trying to make things work with Harry was a step closer to my happiness, or at least, something that seemed pretty close to that. 

I bent down to kiss him again and he immediately parted my lips to kiss me deeper. He pulled me closer and turned us around as I chuckled again his lips and ended up under him, spreading my legs to give him more space. I could feel him getting harder as I moaned in his mouth and his lips ran down my neck, making me shut my eyes tight as he ground down on me, noticing just then that he had changed his wet bathing suit for a pair of dry shorts. There was nothing I wanted more at this exact moment than for him to take them off but I gripped the sheets on the bed with one hand while the other slipped in his hair again.

I felt both his hands slip down my waist as two fingers moved on the sides of my panties, pulling them down so slowly I thought it would never end. He moved up on his knees, his body still close to mine, and I pushed my panties away with my feet as he laughed against my mouth, probably at how impatient I was.

"We have all day, no rush." he pointed out, grabbing my upper lip between his and sucking gently on it while his hand slipped between my legs.

"Oh. Oh god."

I shut my eyes tight and arched my back despite myself as two of his fingers slipped on my slit before sliding inside me. My grip on his hair tightened and I bucked my hips in an attempt to feel his fingers deeper.

"It's been way too long." I repeated again.

My eyes shot open and I held my breath when his thumb rubbed on my clit a few times. I knew he could read how desperate I was just by looking in my eyes but he didn't smirk. He just looked at me as his fingers slipped in and out of me, slowly at first and quicker after a while, his thumb still brushing skillfully on my clit, not skipping a beat.

"Harry, if you don't stop i'm gonna..."

"Don't hold it."

I felt a rush to my brain as an orgasm hit me hard, shaking my body beneath him. I would feel embarrassed to reach my high so quickly if I wasn't busy enjoying the incredible feeling invading my whole body. I kept my eyes closed but felt my pupil flutter behind my eyelids as a comfortable warmth spread all over my body.

His lips reached mine again and i smiled, kissing him back. I thought he would want to keep going but he finally moved away and sent me a fond smile, brushing his nose a few times against mine, giving me an eskimo kiss.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, sitting up and passing his hand in his hair. "I could use a snack."

I looked at him with surprise as he bent down to grab something on the floor and hand it to me, holding it with two of his fingers. I smiled shyly when I noticed it was his shirt and took it. As I put it on, it reminded me that I still had some of his clothes that he let me borrow on the last day of tour and I would have to bring them back to him. This shirt, though, had no holes and it smelled like him. I fucking loved it and I felt myself blush at that thought.

"I thought you'd want to..." I didn't finish my sentence and just chuckled, shaking my head and pressing my lips together.

"I told you." he just said in a low tone, moving closer and pressing his lips firmly on mine. "We have all day."

[g0dtier]

Finally got around to watching Good Omens

Its really good, there were only a few things i didnt like. It was heartwarming and fucking hilarious. The dialogue was great and funny as fuck, aziraphale and crowley were adorable together. The old witch hunter and the fake medium cracked me up and the armageddon fuck scene was just. The best. Absolutely lost my shit watching it.

Casting was mostly on point too. Didnt care much for the kids aside from adam but i think thats mostly cause they didnt get that much screentime. Gabriel scared the shit out of me. Beelzebub was hilarious as was that other asshole demon. Hastur i think? That one scene where michael pours the holy water actually is just a really really beautiful shot.

The only things i didnt like were the horsemen being basically just. Jack shit. We hardly saw em and while their entrances were so fucking cool they didnt actually do anything and felt like filler at the end. Im really not a fan of the whole "kids drag a monster till it just dies" thing tbh.

Theres a lot of things about the horsemen that i really appreciate in theory but the execution fell flat. I love the idea of them being just ideas or nightmares and the kids getting past humanities failings/fears but it was all so basic in execution. Same at It chapter 2 imo. Like it seemed like every kid had some kind of demon/bad thing to overcome but none of that was shown at all. War's dialogue towards pepper was horridly cliché and simple, but i did love pepper's "i believe in peace, bitch" line. Problem for me was that the peace line had NOTHING to do with War's entire "go be a little girl and play with your dollies" thing.

Same with pollution. Plenty of people want and believe in a clean earth so if saying "i want a clean earth actually" is enough to take pollution down why the fuck did they even still exist at that point? And same goes for famine. I did think its hilarious that pestilence was gone, but i do think it may have been even funnier if pestilence had been there and was like. An anti vaxxer ldhahfjsjfs

Also satan was boring. Really loved the mystery of God and then daddy lucifer shows up and hes literally just the most milquetoast cgi version of satan there is. Big red boi with horns. After the whole spiel he did to crowley about how amazing his m25 thing was i really expected something different. Giving him a human form wouldve been scarier, like gabriel was 100x more terrifying than satan. Also the whole "youre not my REAL dad" was hilarious but wouldve actually left an impact if Adams dad actually... Had something to do in the story.

I think my problem is that the heartwarming moments were a valid try but because the series had just been funny as shit up to that point and wasnt concerned with building up those moments, those moments didnt have anything to stand on and just ended up in a limbo between "probably mean to be heartwarming, but also kinda funny, but not enough of either so its just awkward"

I love the light heartedness of the story but i feel like, bc of that, the more serious parts at the end didnt translate well at all.