#I was gonna post this tomorrow but fuck it

[fuck-customers]

*Coworker and Me, setting up a booth at a place where we Don't Work so we can run an offsite event for the place where we Do Work*

Customers: Hi, we need [documents].

Me: Oh, sorry, you'll have to ask the folks at the register. We don't actually work here.

Customer: We're going on vacation and leave tomorrow. We need these papers.

Me: That sounds nice. The people at the register can help you get your papers.

Customer: We need them by today.

Me: I understand, but we don't work here, we can't help you.

Customer: *suddenly kind of aggressive* I don't think you do understand. We need to get our hands on these [documents].

Coworker, who has been at this job way too long and lost all her fucks eons ago*: My guy, I appreciate that [documents] are so important to you that you waited until the last minute to get it all sorted out but even if they were the only thing keeping your lungs from melting, it doesn't change the fact that we don't work here so we don't have access to your papers or the system to get them. You're gonna have to ask someone who DOES work here and you'll most easily find those people at the register up front.

Customer: You just don't care and don't want to help.

Coworker: Correct. Go ask at the register.

The customers still didn't grasp it so she escorted them over to the front and left them in the hands of the actual employees. The manager of the location, who we vibe with pretty well, came over to 'fire' us.

Coworker: Aww man, you mean we don't work here still???

Manager: Yeah, 'fraid not.

The same customers came back a while later to the booth to ask where something in the store was, and when we gave them the general location, they scowled at us and said "I knew you were lazy!"

THEN WHY ASK US FOR HELP *AGAIN*

Posted by admin Rodney

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Hot Neighbor and the Sunshine Baby

by ZenaidaMacroura

Summary:

Five Times Steve and his daughter accidentally terrorized Bucky and his daughter, and then some times they managed to keep it together. A cutesy meet-ugly slowburn slice of life AU kidfic. May include: General childhood mess. Brief references to the less pleasant side effects associated with the proximity of children, including diapers, throwing up, and the indignities of gestating. No graphic childbirth or pregnancy (sorry if you're into that).

Thanks to @booksandabeer and TenMileStilts for beta/emotional counseling.

[kingzombear]

The VAs for Jax and Zooble are at my local con, so I whipped these up real quick and gave em these as offerings, they said they liked em! <3

[do-rey-me]

if murderbot learned what autism was i truly believe itd go "wow humans are so ridiculous they cant even agree on their own stupid human social rules" and then never think about that or its possible relation to its own behaviors ever again

[zaahvi]

i for one would love to share the peace and comfort of his reign 🙏

[scourge-sympathiser]

SCOURGE SUNDAY 015/???

a mask of my own face. id wear tht

[kaeyacollection]

Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!

I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya

Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience

This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:

and the use of the word "rumored"

Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt

And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt

(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just

Out there in the bush with Razor...)

Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:

"Who's the boy?"

"You mean my son?"

"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"

"I have two sons? You know this??"

But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier

Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again

In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:

"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"

Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a

"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"

Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up

Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out

And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went

"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"

Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?

Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!

Welcome to the knights! 🤝

Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor

In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?

Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘

Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"

Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away

And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually

I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher

Comment on original post:

"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"

Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:

"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just

"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"

Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just

"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "

[herd-reject-arts]

Happy Last Day of April, everyone!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

PLEASE MORE BUTTERFLY HOWDY CONTENT HES SO FUCKING SILLY

OKAY HERE'S A COMIC SHENANIGANS THING

[francy-sketches]

Hiiiii guess who finished her pmv. finally. um enjoy :3

[dalesramblingsblog]

Look here's the thing guys, if you keep going "Wow this Moffat episode was great, and that one, oh and that one too, but *OOOOH I HATE STEVEN MOFFAT AND HE'S TERRIBLE AND CAN'T WRITE AT ALL*"" then like... I've got news for ya, maybe you don't actually hate Moffat as much as you think.

It's OK, you don't have to have a burning parasocial hatred for this one sixty-two year-old Scottish man. In fact, it's honestly kinda weird to still have an obsessive hatred for Moffat in the year of our Lord 2024, but that's just my opinion, take it or leave it. If you wanna take aim at legitimate overly smug asshole writers who also happen to be terrible people... I mean, Joss Whedon is right over there guys, c'mon, what are we even doing here?

[paint-it-red-and-black]

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK TWAT THE FUKL

WDYM “Max praises Leclerc”

WDYM “Lestappen bromance”

[dragonkick-bootshine]

testing out brushes and trying to figure out how the hell to draw kissie.

bonus doodle:

[marciliedonato]

Mcr girlies (gn) waking up on the morning of March 11th

[demo-ness]

How dare you. It's 2024, not 2014. You can't make me post the gd blushing emoji about Bill Cipher. What do you take me for

[astrolotte]

Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔

(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)

((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))

(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))