#I won't respond unless they are really funny

[e-kamski-cyberlifeceo]

your punishment for not asking me any questions is me talking about myself until you get curious about me and aspecialy my work

[mischievousmoony]

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚎

𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 ⟡ 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜' 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

⟢ james potter x fem!reader

⟢ summary: modern restaurant au; after training with james for a few weeks, people have started calling you his . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁1.3k

⟢ warnings/tags: coworker!james, coworker!marauders, slightly anxious!reader, not proofread

⟢ the new hire masterlist ⟡ main masterlist

note: i hate seafood but i keep putting it on my fictional restaurants menu ? kept this one pretty simple so i could get it out there <3

"Crab cakes, go." James says, eyes darting up from the menu he's holding to look at you from across the rickety staff room table.

You don't miss a beat, describing the dish as you would to a customer, "The crab cakes are one of our most popular appetizers. They're pan seared and served with sofrito escabeche, a zesty blend of onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes—so I highly recommend them if you're looking for something tangy—and they have a to die for berbere aioli drizzle."

"Tell me more about the berbere aioli. What is that?" James questions, playing the part of a curious customer.

"The berbere aioli is a spicy-chili sauce that I'd say is just shy of medium in terms of spice level. It complements the crab cakes really well, but you could always order it on the side if you're not too sure about it."

"That's my girl," James praises, "You're a quick learner, you know that?"

"I don't know about that," you protest, looking down at your hands that lay politely folded on the table in front of you. You try to mentally will yourself not to blush at James' approval.

"It's barely over a week since you started and you know this thing like the back of your hand," James argues, gently tossing the menu down as he leans back in his chair, "And there's so little time to sit and study here."

You have a funny look on your face when you meet James' eyes again, eliciting a gasp from him.

"You've been studying the menu outside of work, haven't you?" he squints, speaking in an accusatory tone.

"Shouldn't I?" you ask, and the fact that it's a genuine question has James clutching his chest over his heart.

"No! You never think about work unless you're getting paid!"

"How else am I supposed to learn this whole menu in a timely manner?" you cross your arms defensively.

"Who said anything about a timely manner, Love. I was weeks out of training before I had the whole thing down."

"Yeah, well you're more..." you trail off, trying to find the words.

"More what?" James is quick to sound defensive.

You put your hands up as a sign of innocence, "Just laid back. You're a go with the flow kind of guy. As opposed to me, who's more-"

James interjects, "Stuck in your head," nodding along without a doubt that that's what you were going to say.

You look at James, a bit of surprise and alarm swirling around in the pit of your stomach. He was spot on, but how could he possibly be? He barely knows you, after all.

"What?" James seems to sense your confusion, "I've noticed the turmoil in those eyes of yours. You're doing it right now."

You look bashful, so James graciously changes the subject.

"Whatever, just promise me you won't ever think about this place when you're off the clock again!"

"Promise," you agree, despite his request being impossible.

For whatever reason, your mind seems to always be on work. Not even in a stressed, overthinking way like you'd expect from yourself. It seemed to be little random tidbits from work infiltrating your mind throughout your days. Like sometimes, you randomly think of a joke James said once. Or you see something funny and want to show it to him. Or you think about how nice James is when you mess something up.

Okay, maybe they're not so random after all.

"What're you thinking about?" James interrupts your thoughts.

Just as you're about to start stammering through an excuse, Mary pops her head into the room.

"There you guys are!" she says, "I just sat you guys. Table six."

"Thanks, Mary. We'll be right there." James responds.

"I had Peter bring them some waters because I couldn't find you guys for a while—oh, he's back today by the way, did you know?" Mary asks, but doesn't stick around for James to answer, "I have to get back. Table six, guys!" Her voice echoes the reminder as she's already disappeared from your sights.

James shakes his head at her, amused by the way she jumps from one thing to the next without taking a breath.

"Peter?" you question as you and James begin to stand from the table.

"Yeah, he does bussing and some food running, a helping hand for us servers, really. He was on vacation." James explains as you follow him out into the dining room.

Your eyes fall on table six, a table for two that beholds two kind looking older ladies.

"You think you can handle this?" James juts his chin in their direction.

"Yeah," you say confidently. You have already taken the lead on some tables while James supervised. So far, it's been going well. Your first table you had to ask James to help answer some questions—maybe that's why you wanted to learn the menu so quick, it made you feel sheepish—but after that one time, James hasn't had any notes.

"Alright, I'm gonna check on our other tables then."

"Wait," you gave yourself whiplash with the way you craned your neck swiftly to look at him, "You meant handle it alone?"

"Yeah," James looks down at you reassuringly, his eyes filled with warmth, "You can do it."

"Uhh-? No, what if I-"

"Get out of that pretty little head of yours," he interrupts, "You've got this."

The sincerity in his tone incited a bit of confidence in you.

"Okay, okay. Okay sure," your shaky voice became a little more steady with each word, and you started walking to the table.

"Wait!" James carefully takes hold of your wrist. The progress you had made in easing your nerves is out the window.

"You'll need this," James slides his server book out from his apron and held it out to you.

"Right," you say quietly, smiling as you took it from him.

His hand fell from your wrist as he bid you good luck. He watches you for a moment as you greet the table, a proud gleam in his eyes.

Marlene appears beside James, a tray of waters and soft drinks balancing on her palm, "Your girl's taking orders on her own now?"

"Just the one table for today," James replies.

Marlene hums approvingly and saunters off to deliver the drinks.

James registers her words only when she's already left, "Wait, my who now?" he asks the wall.

His furrowed brows relax as he decides he kind of likes the sound of it.

After checking on your other tables, getting refills and putting new food orders in, James notices a congregation of his coworkers at the host stand so he decides to join in.

"Who's that?" Peter asks, swinging a rag over his shoulder.

Lily follows Peter's gaze to you, who's delivering some bread and butter to table six.

"James' girl?" Lily questions, "She started last week, she's been doing pretty well so far I think."

"Any reason in particular we're calling her that?" James decides to ask on his approach, having heard that phrase twice in under ten minutes.

"Ah, well, she hardly talks to anyone else." Marlene drawls.

"Eh, she's just a bit skittish," James provides an excuse for you, "it's kind of cute."

Lily and Mary share a look.

James continues, "She'll get used to you guys soon enough, just be nice." He really only says the last part to Marlene.

"I am nice," she defends.

"Well, you're not mean," Mary offers and Marlene scowls at her.

James chuckles, and turns to Peter, "How 'ave you been, mate?"

Peter opens his mouth to share details of his vacation, but he's interrupted.

"What are you all doing up here?" Nate hisses, appearing suddenly as if out of thin air, "You know how bad it looks for nearly my entire staff to be slacking off in the front of the restaurant?"

Before anyone can disperse or defend themselves, Nate continues, "And you're supposed to be training, Potter. Where's your girl?"

"Me?" your choked voice rings from behind him.

Everyone peers over at you, standing there shellshocked and blushing with a pitcher of water in your hands.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕘𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕡 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request the demon brothers with a lover who says strange things in their sleep? Like, they're just napping and all of a sudden, they say "potato fairy".

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Absolutely!

I'm sorry some are really short but hopefully it's at least not forced so I still hope you'll like it!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff, TW: slight mentions of guts in Asmo's part (just skip the dialogue)

✧ Lucifer is probably one of the rare demons who doesn't make big deal out of your habit

✧ it's just like snoring but... talking. And it just happens to be a bit stupid. He's seen worse things

✧ he'll move you to some private space when you fall asleep in public so you can rest there, without worrying layer about anyone hearing your mumbles

✧ he's usually not even paying attention to what you're saying in your sleep and just gets lost in his work

✧ even if he hears what you're saying, he's not gonna tease you about it, unless you really want to hear about things you've said

"It wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. Again, talking and flying fruits. I didn't listen to your descriptions. Sorry dear, but I had work to finish."

✧ overally, it's like he doesn't even notice that trait of yours

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✧ you scared the living out of Mammon the first time you did that

✧ he didn't knew you talk in your sleep in the first place so imagine fear on his face when you didn't answered simple questions

"MC, what do you mean...?"

"flying piggies..."

"WHERE-?!"

✧ literally believes you every time for some reason...

✧ don't you dare spooking him with ghosts or so because he'll end up clinging onto your pretending to just be "warming you up because you were shaking" ignoring the fact it's him who's shaking

✧ you'd think it'd get better with time, and yes it does a bit?

✧ when he's in front of someone and you start talking stupid things, he'll just explain how it's your habit, but he'll still have quick and sly look around his surroundings just in case...

✧ you're making this man lovkey paranoid a bit, especially if he's after horror movie... then it's even worse!

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✧ Levi sometimes doesn't even realize you've felt asleep to be honest

✧ he's sometimes so lost in his game or anime, he responds automatically without thinking about it

✧ it's just a habit when he's too focused on his things to just get rid of somebody

✧ it's honestly even funnier when he realizes what you two are talking about and stops everything he's doing to have a lag

"We can conquer the marshmallow kingdom later."

"But teddy bears..."

"Teddybears can wai- hold on... What...?"

✧ he's not letting anyone else hear you to save you the emberassment, so any time you fall asleep in public, he'll try to take you to his or your room, or anywhere private so you can rest

✧ he mostly doesn't even remember stories you've told him unless they really broke his mind so it's rare when you get to hear about things you've said in your sleep

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✧ Satan simply finds it funny

✧ people who talk in their sleep, sometimes tend to respond and he'll use it to have laugh of the year

"bugs with crowns..."

"Oh really? Why do they have crowns, MC?"

"They beated up Lucifer, then Diavolo..."

✧ the stories you've come up with in your sleep are truly worth writing down and you bet he does just that and reads them to you once you're awake

✧ he's not trying to be mean, he simply can't resist making you a bit pouty and blushy with your habit

✧ though he'll skip this part when others are around and won't mess with you, that's for his ears and eyes only~

✧ weirdly, you fell asleep around him more often after he've discovered your habit

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@miya-akane - come get your cat lover!

✧ Asmo, similar to Satan, likes to have a chuckle thanks to your little habit

✧ though he's not as mean about it and has more casual conversation, eventually chuckling more from cuteness of your words rather than the fact he finds it funny

✧ sometimes tho, he may get dramatic with it

✧ try to say something stupid about self-care and he'll have an argument with your sleepy self

"I put jellyfish jam on my face and now I'm dazzling..~"

"You- YOU PUT JELLYFISH GUTS ON YOUR FACE?! Oh no, no! Listen closely, MC, you can't..."

✧ when you wake up, he doesn't let you go untill you two have your skin-care night/morning

✧ he won't be afraid to let you nap in public, after all your mumbling is cute!

✧ speaking of which, he doesn't mind telling others he's close to about what you said last night but he'll stop if you feel uncomfortable with that

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@vodka-glrl - come get your pretty princess~

✧ Beel is another rare demon who doesn't make big deal out of it!

✧ he talks in his sleep too, and so does Belphie. He began ignoring sleep talking for quite a while now

✧ don't ask him what you've said because poor boy doesn't even remember

✧ he won't really touch or move you when you're asleep but he might sit down next to you and be like your little body guard

✧ if you ask him to tho, he'll move you to more private place when he catches you asleep somewhere public, he wants to make sure you're comfortable after all!

✧ but if you don't mind, he'll just let you rest like you are

"and then... bathtub elve came out..."

"Do they-"

"Oh yeah, they talk in their sleep. Anyway, are we going to that restaurant or not?"

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✧ Belphie also talks in his sleep and believe me, it's sometimes even stupider than things you're saying

✧ like, if you two actually talk with each other in your sleep, stupidest and most creative stories happen

✧ ask someone Beel to record it for you and you'll have a good laugh

"bee's need our help..."

"they can burn on candy sun..."

"but lolipops will melt too..."

"just spill it on Lucifer... heh..~"

✧ even if Lucifer overhears any of your stories, he can't do anything because you're just talking in your sleep and not insulting him consciously or are you

✧ when he sees you sleeping in public, he just joins you

✧ even if you tell him to move you somewhere private, it "slips his mind as he's too tired" and you end up waking up in the same place but with Belphie next to you

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@miya-akane - come get your sleepyhead!

[llamagoddessofficial]

Well Llama, you’ve got me hooked on another one of your aus. That post about kids visiting the harpy aviary reminded me of my own field trips as a kid. I…may have gotten a reputation for wandering off and getting lost. NEVER on purpose, mind you, it just always seemed to happen! I can guarantee I would have found my way into Skull’s enclosure. With that in mind, what WOULD our loveable teddy bird do if a kid somehow wandered in?

I'll do you one better. Here's how all of them would respond to a child wandering into their enclosure.

Sans: Usually, when anyone who isn't Mc approaches the grouchy harpy while he's sleeping, he gets extra vicious at his sleep being interrupted and lashes out. Many staff who got too close/confident have the laceration scars to prove his favouritism toward Mc. Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.

... But even though anyone watching can clearly see his sockets open a fraction at the approach of the child, he does absolutely nothing, continuing to lounge around like they aren't even there. The kid literally wanders up to him, touching his soft plumage, and he does little more than snore. He's like a lion dad with a fussy cub- they could cuddle up next to him, shout and scream, jump on him, pull his feathers, anything. He might even play with them a bit... pretending to roll over in his sleep and pinning them under a wing. Oh no, gravity is increasing on me...

He likes kids. He doesn't consider a child any kind of threat, unlike adults. This one is particularly funny. He also very much enjoys the attention Mc gives him for being so gentle.

Red: Kids find him cool so it makes sense one would eventually find a way to wander in. He used to not really care about children, but after he started courting a human woman, he's grown very fond of human kids. It's one of the reasons he seems so delighted when groups of them come to visit the aviary.

... But obviously, this kid isn't his biologically. So there's a worry he won't tolerate them in his space. Not the case, though! If Sans is the lazy lion dad, Red is the grumpy one. If a kid entered his enclosure and started following him around, he resembles a slightly annoyed older brother with their delighted younger sibling shadowing him absolutely everywhere, but he still lets them do whatever they want. He lets them clamber on him, tug his feathers, touch his cool teeth and claws. Despite his constant annoyed expression, when staff come to the rescue he's got the kid on his shoulders where they gleefully prod his face and talk about flying.

He's quick to let out little warning growls if they get too rough. But that's it.

Skull: A kid who walked into Skull's aviary would have to be suitably unafraid of him. Which is his dream. He immediately scoops them up, and they play together for as long as possible, climbing and 'flying' and exploring. It's the best time he's had in a long time.

Unfortunately... then comes the removal process. Mc tries to do it slowly, tries to gradually convince Skull to let the kid go so he doesn't lash out. And she almost gets it- she can see in his eyelight that he's close to handing them over. But not close enough... the other staff panic and tranquillise him.

... Skull goes to sleep holding his baby. And he wakes up no baby. Mc stayed with him until he woke to try and mitigate the inevitable fallout, but her presence does little to calm him. His distress is obvious, he tears up his enclosure looking for them... and once he realises they're gone, he becomes completely inconsolable, curling up in the corner of his den. You don't have to be a harpy expert to know that the sounds he's making are ones of grief.

For at least a week, he's utterly despondent. He won't eat unless Mc is there, he just stays in his den, cradling his plushie. He always keeps it tucked under one wing... like he's hiding it.

(He's scared he'll lose that, too.)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling out my friend's husband's shitty attitude about money?

For context: I (28) have been friends with this woman, R (29 f), since middle school. I met her husband twice before the wedding and wasn't impressed but didn't see any red flags.

Oh how the flags have reddened.

R and her husband regularly host game nights that feature mostly video games. He always has a controller and most of the time wins every game. And he is a very sore winner about it. It is also very obvious that only his male friends are prioritized during these game nights and the women and women-presenting among us are just bodies in the room to entertain them and grab them drinks. I was uncomfortable with this but didn't realize others in the group felt the same way until very recently.

The gals and non binary pals in the group have started having monthly dinner dates without the guys there. These have been an absolute highlight, letting us get to know each other and reconnect with high school friends without being drowned out by the guys.

And as the gals have been talking, its become more obvious that R's husband is not a great guy. He's made suggestive comments towards most of the women in the group (things along the line of "I would date you if I wasn't married" and "if I were to have a threesome with my wife, I'd choose you") and again, favors the men in the group always. He'll make big mansplaining speeches about abortion rights and leftist politics while whining about being told he shouldn't support JKR and treating me like a stripper for performing in drag. (His super religious x-ian friend was more excited and impressed by my Gerard Way Halloween outfit than mr. Left wing 😵). Frankly, my best friend refuses to go to his house anymore and is convinced he's trying to cheat on his wife, but that's just speculation.

This past weekend was a double feature, game night one day and girl's night the next evening. Game night was incredibly awkward because 3 people showed up and I had to deal with R and her husband alone for like an hour. This was when he made the comment about drag shows being like a strip club and that he *wanted* to support my passion but it just made him so *uncomfortable*. I really wouldn't push the issue if he said he didn't want to go, but he has to look like the good guy always and won't say his homophobia with his whole chest unless challenged. Whatever.

So at game name, R's husband randomly brought up that she "owes" him money for a credit card bill he paid. They aren't my finances so I don't care how they share money, but it was really rude of him to bring it up in front of her friends. We all just kept our mouths shut (because he talks about money a lot) and went on with the party.

The next night was girl's night. And a lot more people showed up. Another friend I've known since middle school, L (29 f), has a rich lawyer husband. During dinner the topic of a sugar daddy came up and L started joking about how she can live off her husband's salary and what's his is hers and what's hers is hers. R started to agree like that was how it is with her husband. So I pointed out that he was asking her to pay him back in front of everyone. She deflected saying that he was joking and I responded that it wasn't a very funny joke.

It wasn't until after dinner that I realized my comments about R's husband probably came off as aggressive and rude. I just genuinely don't understand why he would make a joke out of hounding his wife for money if they're actually sharing finances. On top of his other shitty qualities and tone deaf remarks, I honestly don't think he was joking and she's covering up for his rude behavior to pretend like their marriage is as harmonious and peaceful as everyone is told its supposed to be. Was I the asshole for calling it out? Does he deserve to be called out to his face next time? Or should I shut my mouth next time?

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[prettyboypistol]

I love ur mercs x male reader stuff sm!! Don't know if you still do request but if you do, can I ask for the mercs reacting to being courted/flirted on by a male reader?

TF2 x Male Reader- Reacting to Being Hit On!

Scout

Flustered AF, thinks you're joking/insulting him at first

You call him pretty boy, he fucking dies.

Red faced, he doesn't know what to do with his hands, can't meet your eyes, etc. Etc.

"Hey!"

"Hello there, sexy."

"ASKFHTJFKRK SHUT UP"

Tries to hit on you back, but as soon as you open your mouth he melts

"Whoa whoa, slow down prettyboy! What's the rush?" You hummed as Jeremy dashed past you. Almost immediately, the loud and ear-piercing skid of sneaker sole on tile rang through the hall. His arms locked up where they were.

"You talkin to me?" Scout shouts, a hell of a lot louder than he intended. You make a noise of agreement. He turned around to see you, leaned on a wall with a satisfied smile. A snicker could barely be heard as Sniper passed by made Jeremy squeak as his face flushed red.

"What's wrong Jeremy, are you shy?"

Unfortunately, he ran away faster after that, his face red and his body shaking.

Demoman

He'd be caught MAJORLY off guard

He assumes you're drunk

matches your energy bc it's funny

next morning he teases you about it, but you start doubling down

"So, you remember all those nasty things you said last night?"

"Yeah I do, and I remember a certain someone promising me them."

OH SHIT

OH SHIT OH FUCK

"Hey there handsome, you busy?" You asked as you sit beside Tavish. He laughed in turn, his head rocked back as the mug's content sloshed haphazardly.

"Well, if you're here, absolutely not!" He replied in a heartbeat with a mirrored smile.

You two spent the night drinking and had a friendly, fun time together. The morning after however, Tavish strolled up and quoted a particularly suggestive comment you made, to which you winked.

oh. Oh shit.

"Well, you gonna take me up on my offer or not?"

You could nearly see his heart pop out of his chest as he fumbled over a way to respond.

Soldier

doesn't get it

you have to grab that mf by the face and say "I FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE" for him to get the hint

even then he probably thinks its a compliment

RIP, good luck

Medic

He laughs and brushes you off

It's a joke to him- either if you are playing or if you would really hit on him

Medic is one of those people to say "alright, that's enough now" with a smile to you saying "rail me daddy"

He's always brushing you off, unless you're praising him. Then he's hanging off your every word with a prideful smirk and the most puffed chest he's ever had.

Medic will give you extra good care when you're injured, something more tender is there now.

Nobody ever sees that little glint in his eyes as he double checks that you are okay with a glance.

Medic never understood why you made his heart squeeze. Maybe it was a new type of heart burn? A type of non-lethal heart attack? It all eluded him. Then he caught your eye, and the fun really began.

"Helloooo Doctor!" You said, you intentionally dropped your voice as he walked by. He stopped in his tracks before quickly turning on his heel to see you again. Your eyes locked before you clicked your tongue and winked.

"That's quite enough now. I'm a very busy man, you know." Medic responded as he gently smacked your head. You seized the sudden opportunity to grasp his wrist with a sly smile.

"Oh, you must be so stressed then! Won't you let me help with that?"

"I- what? I'm starting to think you're not joking anymore."

Heavy

He deadass can't understand you.

Like, at all.

So, you learn a few Russian pick up lines and try your luck.

"Hey! Heavy! Vy horosho vygladite!"

Heavy thinks you are trying to make conversation but horribly failed.

Well, now you know a bit of Russian and a lot of pickup lines, but not much luck in your actual goal.

You two start hanging out casually and turns out he's not only hot but also surprisingly a cool guy.

You finally get the courage to say the obvious damned words to him, no matter how much your voice clams up at the thought of ruining your friendship.

"Hey Heavy! You were great out there!"

"Thank you!"

"Я тебя люблю!"

Heavy lets his head fall back in laughter. Obviously you were joking, right? Right?! He gently explained the meaning, but that didn't deter you.

"Я тебя люблю!"

Finally, finally! The man showed a kind of reception. His face flushed the slightest bit of pink.

Sniper

He'd probably insult you on reflex

This however, makes you live rent free in his head for days on end.

As soon as he finally evicts you from his mind, you do it again.

He wants to kill you, really, he does.

However, the more he thinks about you and your disgustingly stupid face, the more he turns red and chokes up in his head.

You already know he's not going to face you. Accept it.

Mundy avoids you like the repressed bisexual man he is.

After literally eating himself alive with nerves, he eventually flirts back in a mumble you can barely understand before walking away.

Mundy physically cannot function, let alone able to leave his camper after the stunt you pulled (AKA saying 'hello' in a slightly more sincere way than usual) for at least a week, which caused a lot of trouble for your supervisors and generals. You were avoided, glared at, and were obsessed over by the Aussie for longer than you could fathom.

Still, you persisted. Your subtle lip bites, your prolonged eye contact, you knew what you were doing and loved every second of it.

Finally though, he showed back up and gave you a charming wink and smile. You could have kissed that bitchy little man.

Pyro

homie good luck

you speak fluent pyro as you watch them interact with the world and the other mercs.

They mean well, but just... somewhere else, like a person in wonderland.

You desperately want to join them in their wonderland.

through little gifts and kindness, you try to let the door open, but nothing seems to work. the only thing you haven't done is tell them outright that you love them.

So, fuck it, why not try!

"Pyro, there's something I want to tell you.."

You tell them everything, especially the wonderland allegory.

Pyro just sits there and listens to you go on. You make a tad bit of an ass of yourself as you fidget and fluster yourself with nerves. Eventually though the torture of talking is over, and you wait for their response. They stand up and leave.

You nearly cry before they return with a little teacup.

Spy

Oh he makes you blush like a virgin all over again if he even caught you thinking about hitting on him.

He is a little off guard and amused at your actual attempt.

The response of Spy pinning you against the wall and murmuring the downright dirtiest of things into your ear that leaves you stunned and gay.

Spy suddenly is the recipient of many gifts over the next few weeks. Flowers. Chocolates. Unfettered access to high-powered people when he's on an espionage mission.

Spy returns the favor with looks of flirtatious intent that are meant for you only.

You finally wrack up the courage to give him a gift in-person. It started as a note slid under his door to meet his admirer behind the barracks at 11 PM. Well, he shows up looking too gorgeous to have been incidental.

The blush that overtakes your cheeks refuses to let you look him in the eye as you thrust the bouquet of flowers towards him.

"Mon espion, tu as assassiné mon coeur..." you barely squeak out, cursing yourself for every incorrect inflection on the strange grammar. Spy simply looks you up and down with an amused chuckle.

"Votre français est horrible, petit fleur."

Engineer

You remind him so much of younger him when he was courting a girl back in his schooldays.

Down to the foot fidgeting and sweating profusely as you tried to say the most basic of things, it was downright endearing.

Dell had never considered himself gay, he'd never even thought about another man romantically!

He gently lets you down, but in a way that leaves things horribly ambiguous.

"I'm flattered- really! I just never thought I'd be the one asked to go steady!"

"So- you want me too stop?" You ask.

Dell doesn't answer with anything but a shy smile.

Well, after a few more weeks of old-fashioned flirting and a gentlemanly air, Dell finally gives you an answer.

"Gee, you really are serious, aren't you? I mean, I guess I wouldn't mind- but could we keep it quiet? At least for a while?"

You of course agree.

"Can I hold your hand sometimes?"

Dell's face flares a scarlet.

[skz-bibi]

(🖊) ... SCANDALS BIBI'S BEEN IN !

💬nia's notes: mentions of nipples it's not a warning to me , but i felt like i should mention it.

(♡)... HER SCANDAL WITH "ALLEGED" EX JYP STAFF !

when did this happen? november 2020

serious level: 8.5 / 10

— what happened? a alleged ex staff came took to twitter , and accused bibi of being a complete terror to work with , that she was completely disrespectful to staff , was often rude to her , she said that bibi would yell and curse at her if she got her make-up or hair wrong — she went as far as to say that bibi would physically harm her. she also alleged that many staff quit their jobs because they were frightened of the girl.

respond: since this blew up really big even news outlets were talking about it , jyp actually had to look deep into this , find old staff members , interview the current staff members , and when concluded , it came to find out that it wasn't even true , they didn't even have anybody working under the name they had , and old staff came to her defense , saying that although she was a rowdy and energetic person , she was never disrespectful , and that they left due to personal reasons.

(♡)... BIBI'S "ALLEGED" NEW GIRLFRIEND !

when did this happen? march 2022

serious level: 5.5 / 10

— what happened? a few years after the first girl friend situation , bibi at first usually steered clear of getting caught with women , even other idol girls , scared that people would think different , but this was a close friend that she had been childhood friends with since she was in dallas , and she decided it was time to let that fear go and hang out with her friend who was visiting. well a ot8 fan saw her and posted that she was on a date with another girl , and it quickly blew up again.

response: due to her being frightened for her friends safety , she begged the company to make a statement , she took to instagram , and pleaded with people not to believe the rumors and to not try and find her friend saying: she is just a friend of mine from dallas that i hadn't seen in a while and she is in a loving relationship , please don't trust me and don't go looking for her.

(♡)... BIBI CAUGHT WITHOUT A BRA !

when did this happen? april 2023

serious level: 2 / 10

— what happened? during the time out episodes of skz code , some fans pointed out that bibi wasn't wearing a bra. while some some fans were like okay , what's the big deal , bibi antis and ot8 fans began to throw hate at her , saying that she should dress more appropriately and that it was disgusting if that she'd walk around with her nipples showing , which you really couldn't see unless you zoomed in closely , which normal fans thought was weird.

response: what could the company say really , it wasn't really a big deal and bibi just thought it was funny , although she knew she shouldn't have said anything , during a live she said: "if you wear a bra all the time 24/7 that's fine it works for you , but it's uncomfortable for me , i won't be uncomfortable for others people comfortably."

©️LUVYENI

[crystalxwitch]

13| Sweetness - W. Maximoff

Summary: A sweet conversation about your tattoos leads to a funny realization..

Masterlist

"Oh, oh, oh…here she comes."

"Don't laugh." She whines, limping inside the living room. "This is all your fault."

You stand up from the couch. Chuckling softly, you quickly walk up to her which isn't difficult because she's as fast as a snail. Placing your arm around her waist, you let her lean herself on you and walk to the couch. You don't want her to fall over when you are the cause of her current state.

"It's not like you didn't want it. You were the one to wake me up again for - what was it? The third round?"

Her face heats up. "I don't want to talk about it."

"But it looks like you're in pain." You muster her body, hanging on her legs that remind you of jello. "Can you feel your legs?"

She pouts. "Barely."

"Oh, my poor girl." You press her down on the couch. "Just sit down and let me take care of you. I turned you into this mess so let me give you the princess treatment."

"I won't need it." Wanda shakes her head. "I'll be fine."

"No arguing or I have to shut that pretty mouth of yours with a gag." You respond, trailing your fingers through her hair and grabbing her chin between your thumb and forefinger. "You want that?"

"You wouldn't."

You lift an eyebrow. "Try me."

Wanda holds eye contact. The air cracks around you. You hold your breath. You won't be the one who loses. Thankfully, the redhead breaks first.

You rub your thumbs over her thighs, hoping to release some tension. She groans, leaning her head back against the sofa. You know that sound very well by now. Smiling softly, you continue your actions. Kneeling her sore flesh, Wanda sighs deeply and closes her eyes.

"That feels nice." She breathes out.

"Yeah?" You ask, looking up at her through your lashes. "You poor thing…I really exhausted you yesterday."

"Don't sound so coy about it."

"I feel proud of it." You tease, smugly grinning as the redhead stares daggers into your skin. "Making a pretty woman come three times in one night is pretty good for my ego."

She presses her finger against your mouth. "Shhhh."

Instead of pushing it away, you press a kiss on the tip of her finger. Her eyes hang on your mouth, a dreamingly expression in them that reminds you of last night. How her mouth fell open in an o shape as she tumbled over the edge. Or the way her eyes rolled into the back of her head. You're never going to forget, the images burned into your mind.

Wanda snaps her fingers in front of your eyes. "Y/n? Did you hear what I just said?"

You blink. Once. Twice.

"Huh?"

Wanda laughs. "I asked you if you've eaten yet. Where did your mind just take you?"

"Heaven."

She wipes her hand over her face. "Jeez, the question should be: What did I do with you yesterday? You're like a new person all of a sudden…all charming and nice. Where's the grumpy girl that wanted to throw me out of my cabin?"

"Our cabin." You correct her. "We have agreed on sharing it. Unless, you want to continue the discussion."

"It's still mine…I rented it first."

"Just tell yourself that. The next time we'll see Nat we will just ask her about it. This needs to be settled once and for all."

"Deal." Wanda agrees. "We'll see who is the winner."

"Speaking of breakfast...I'll make you a tea, Wands. You haven't had your favorite tea yet and it's 11 am in the morning." You explain, hearing her disapproving grumble as you rise off the couch. "It will be good for you. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"No." She grabs your hand, yanking you back. "No, don't leave me. I want to cuddle with you for a bit longer."

You theatrically groan. "You're awful clingy today."

Her hands immediately drop back to her sides. "Oh- I'm sorry…I thought-"

"I'm kidding." You cut her off with a kiss. "Don't worry, princess. I like it."

You never want her to doubt it. But sometimes your quick tongue gets the best of you. She places her hands on top of yours that lie on her jaw. Her eyes flicker between yours. You look at her attentively.

"Truth?"

You nod. "Truth."

"Let me tell you something true too. You make me feel all fluttery inside." She admits, placing your hand on her chest. "I never experienced that before…I thought it was a lie when people said that they get butterflies around the become they l-...like."

She's so sweet. Her words light up a spark within you. The same sensation that she is describing. Wanda presses her lips together.

You hum. "You like me?"

She rolls her eyes. "Isn't that obvious?"

"It is…I just want to hear you say it." You say quietly. "Hearing it will show me that this isn't just a perfect little dream."

"Okay." She grabs your face - rather aggressively- and places a kiss on your forehead. "I-"

The ends of her hair tickle your skin. You laugh, bright and bubbly. A sound that reminds you of childhood and pure happiness. She makes you happy. It's maddening.

"Like-" Wanda grins, placing another kiss on each of your cheeks. "You-"

"Very-" Her voice is breathy, sending shivers down your spine. She presses one last kiss on your mouth. "Much."

You giggle. "That's more like it."

"Do you still believe that this is a dream?" Wanda asks, trailing her fingertips over your jawline and down your neck. "Or do I need to continue, darling?"

"Let me think…You? Forever." You hum, catching the glint in her emerald eyes. "This? Not any more thanks to you."

She laughs, throwing her head back. "What a charmer you are."

"Only for you."

Wanda tilts her head. "I sure hope so. You'd be insane if you do it for anyone else."

You pull her closer, letting her taste your breath as your lips are only inches away from her mouth. "Exactly…I'm just insane for you, my little witch."

She pushes you away, glaring at you with burning eyes that feel hotter than the sun rays falling into the room between the curtains. "Oh, don't you dare start with that nickname."

If you wouldn't be so used to her stares already you'd burn yourself. Nevertheless, this feels like dipping a careful finger into a hot pot. Wanda might be older but she looks more like a small lizard than a roaring dragon.

"I'm sorry, sorry. I'll take it back." You reassure her, hiding a mischievous grin tugging on the corner of your lips. "You're my sweet, darling princess. I remember now. You're also far too pretty to be an old, ugly witch hiding in the depths of the woods."

"You're not making it better."

"Let me show you." You start kissing her face, moving down her jawline up to her earlobe. "Being in the presence of you makes it hard to think and get proper sentences out."

Carefully, you turn her around until her back is facing you. Wanda leans her body against the side of the couch, relaxing deeply as your experienced hands rub the tension out of her muscles. You move your hands over her shoulder blades. Pressing your thumbs deeper into her muscles, you earn a quiet groan from her. Her head rolls to the side as you press a gentle kiss on the newly exposed skin. Pulling the fabric of the sweater down her shoulder, you paint every inch of her with butterfly kisses.

Butterfly. Kisses.

Your furrow your brows, coming across something on her flesh that isn't a red mark. "I didn't notice this last night."

Faint lines. You run your thumb over the small tattoo. The wings are curved over her skin, only covering an inch of her beautiful body. Maybe you didn't notice it because it's so inconspicuous.

"It's pretty."

"Really? I got it on my eighteenth birthday…my brother and I sneaked out of our family home, taking the last bus to the city center."

"Your brother?" You ask.

She hums. "Pietro…my twin brother."

"I didn't know you were a twin." You whisper, glinting eyes moving to her red mane. "Does he have red hair like you?"

"He's a brunette. Even though he currently has a phase where he likes to paint it every possible color to damage his hair until it falls off." She laughs, rolling her eyes at the simple thought of her twin brother. "He's in his thirties and runs around with silver hair."

"He sounds like a very funny guy."

"He really is…You'd love him. And he'd probably love you too." Wanda trails off, looking out of the window. "He's a charmer just like you."

"Aw, don't get jealous. I'd never like your brother more than you. He doesn't have something that you have."

"And what would that be?"

A beat later, you say, "A pretty smile."

But the pause was too long.

Wanda turns around. "You wanted to say something else."

"Noo…not at all."

"Y/n."

"Wanda." You say in the same tone of voice.

She doesn't let loose. "Say it."

You shake your head, biting down on your tongue. "I don't think you'd like what you hear."

"Is it what I think it is?" She asks.

"It depends…What are you thinking about?"

Her eyes narrow.

She hits you on the shoulder. "You only like me because of that?!"

"No, no…I like you because of a lot of other reasons." You try to breathe evenly but her adorable fists pounding down on your chest makes it hard to breathe with all the laughter echoing through the room. "For instance, I like your obsession with tea and your concern about my caffeine addiction."

She stops her movements, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Go on."

"I like your love for animals. Even the smallest and slimy ones." The image of the frog appears before your eyes. "I can't understand it but I appreciate it."

"Every animal is adorable."

"Okay, Aurora." You tease, poking a finger into her shoulder. "With every day you prove to me that you truly earn yourself that nickname. The day you'll talk to animals is the day that I'll write a book about you."

Wanda hums, closing her eyes as your fingertips trace over the lines of the butterfly. "That would be a really special gift."

"Does it have a special meaning to you?" You ask after a few seconds, awaiting her answer. "It's okay if you don't want to te-"

"Change." She answers in a heartbeat. "I- I craved to be free and independent…having a life on my own instead of the constant fear of judgment."

You want to wash the sad expression off her face. It hurts to see her this way. Intertwining your fingers, you softly pull her back to reality. She blinks. Then she smiles again. Your heart relaxes again. You sit up a bit straighter.

"My turn."

A look of puzzlement crosses her face. "You have one too?"

You nod. "Yes."

"Where?"

You grin. Wanda lets go of your hands as you move them up your face. Her eyes hang on you the whole time without blinking. You pull down your bottom lip. Wanda's eyes get wide. This is exactly the reaction you longed for.

Wanda shakes her head, not believing it even though the word is clearly written on your skin. "You're joking."

The faint lines of the tattoo are barely visible anymore, fading away over time. A friend of yours owned a tattoo machine and as reckless as you were as a teen you willingly played the guinea pig for her. You probably won't tell the redhead that you had a crush on her during that time.

"Princess?"

You release your lip again. "I just had a little obsession with princesses as a child…never the prince in shining armor. Thankfully, it's not a spot that's easily visible."

"I can see that." Wanda places her hand on your jaw, leaning her head from side to side. "Is that the reason why you like to call me princess?"

"Yeah…next to the fact that you most definitely talk to animals and keep it secret from me."

[i-just-wanna-write-fanfic]

Can I maybe request a yan!alphabet for duncan from total drama? I love your writing!

yes.

NOTES/WARNINGS I do not condone this shit, yanderes, yandere actions, please don't act like this, non-yan as yan image by me

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He'd do it really anyway possible. He'd try to hold your hand, tease you, call you dumb nicknames, and so on. Really, just anything that makes you react.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Hell, He'd do anything if you'd stop FUCKING IGNORING HIM!

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

A little bit, of course. But he loves you, after all, he wouldn't try to actually hurt you. Not yet. Not now.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He'd keep trying to touch you, talk with you, tase you, he's trying to get you to pay attention to him! It ticks him off THAT YOU WON'T RESPOND!

LOOK AT ME!

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He won't bare much if anything of his heart. He tells some things about himself, but it tends to be small things. It's not every day he tells you something big about himself.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Pissed off. How fucking dare you even try?

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Not at all. He finds it funny sometimes, but that's really only on good days. Otherwise, he's hunting you like deer, taking you back home with you passed out while he carries/drags you {don't think bridal style, babes}.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

His bad days. You've been fighting him all day, hardly talking to him, walking away from his antics and such. He can't help but lash out at you, you won't even hold his DAMN hand! He'd probably hit you, scream, and tell you how it's your fault he's like this, before going to do something else. You'd have to do something he wants for him to apologize for it.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He doesn't care. He just hopes someday you'll start paying attention to him, let him hold you, and stuff like that. That's all he wants.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He does, but not often. There's no one to be jealous of if you can't go outside.

If he you outside and got jelly, he might just kill the person that made him jealous.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He's normally a bit distant, but he does his best to be nice and affectionate, even if you always fight him...

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He hardly ever talked to you before taking you away, but it was normally just you two "bumping into each other" (even if he set it up to happen)

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

No. He's only a bit more violent.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Like I said, he'd hit and scream at you. But if you're unlucky, he might just break skin.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Freedom? out the window. You can't leave unless he says so, and he's with you while you're out, anyways.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Not. At. All.

who's patience? never met them.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

He thinks he can, but he never will. If you simply left, he'd continue to look for you, but if you died, he'd feel like shit.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

No.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

No one really knows. Maybe it's how his parents more or less focused on their career, or how him going to juvie didn't really get him popularity points once he got back to school. Maybe he was just born this way.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He feels horrible but doesn't know what to do, so he just leaves the room you're in until you're done.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

No.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Him being distant. It's common for him to ignore his darling if he's doing something. Just wait for him to get too caught up in something for him to notice you're looking for the key to the door.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

No lmao, but he would go to far lengths to have them to himself.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

About a few months at most. He's a bit of a needy man.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

He doesn't try to, but it's most likely he will break you.

END NOTES damn sorry I took so long. anyways here's your random meme.

[lampert3008]

"Someone should really clean those floor buttons..."

[ OOC ]

hey freaks, welcome to the lampert regretevator blog. i'm finally getting around to making a funky scuffed little intro post to pin, so feel free to join me below the cut to read a whole bunch of nonsense

WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THIS?

okay first of all, calm down

This is an ask/RP blog based off of Lampert from the Roblox game Regretevator. Though, keep in mind it won't be 100% canon, and will both be sprinkled with my own headcanons and also occasionally out of character for Lampert because, shockingly, I am not Lampert Real Life™ and do not know how he would react to everything. I try my best though.

Lampert uses primarily he/him pronouns, but sometimes I sprinkle in some he/they in there. as a treat

I'll try my best to respond to asks with drawings, although I am very fragile old man and am decaying with each passing second so sometimes it is difficult for me to get myself to draw

(i am sixteen years old) (i also have a very shit memory and will forget that i have asks to answer whoopsies) (i may be 16 but i feel like my bones are going to fold in on themselves like a lawn chair and wither away at any given moment constantly)

i'll try to remember to tag asks as #lampertasks and non-asks as #lampposts (haha get it) or #ooc if i'm talking to YOU. (im get you.)

WHO ARE YOU?

heya, i'm ray, the owner of this blog, i do not have a main blog and you have no proof, nor will you find it. if i. um. if i had one, i mean. which i dont. don't go look for it. because you. wont. find anything. um. yeah

i am genderfluid and use all pronouns, i am the master of pronouns, the pronoun wizard one could say, simply refer to me. full stop

please do not sex me i am a minor (i yearn i yearn i yearn for the tunnels the coal the coal the mines i yearn i yearn for black lung i yearn please put me in the mines please give me a pickaxe i am mentally stable and can be trusted with big sharp objects)

do not sex lampert either. you cannot fuck the lamp i forbid it

if you try i will lock you in the Dungeon for seven thousand years

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?

as i already mentioned, do not try and fuck lampert or you will face the consequences, lampert may be an adult but i am not

sex jokes are fine though. to a point. just dont be creepy. be funny or Die (/hj)

i have no opinions on shipping content, i will probably not take it seriously and will shitpost with most of it. i mean of course i have regretevator ships i enjoy, like come on im a tumblr user what do you expect from me, but i doubt i'll insert them into this blog unless it's for The Funny (or if it's my partner's Unpleasant blog. but that also classifies as being for The Funny)

i'm totally cool with roleplay asks from other RP blogs, canon or OCs, and will respond in-character. i mean like, this blog is connected with three other regretevator RP blogs so i don't see why not

aforementioned three other regretevator blogs:

@displeazinggradient

@sk8tr1101

@detectivebive

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH ME? ARE YOU GOING TO HURT ME?

yeah lmao

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Study Date (poly! Veronica Sawyer x reader x Jason Dean)

Description: you have a study date with your partners Veronica and JD

A/N: I rewatched Heathers again and got this idea for a fic, and although I'm pretty convinced this is super crappy I figured I might as well put out some sort of content

Warnings: smoking, dark humor

"Ugh, this is so boring," you complained as you watched Veronica review over her notes in preparation for an upcoming test.

"It's math, it's not supposed to be exciting," she responded before flipping to another page.

JD chuckled, observing the two of you before pulling a cigarette from his coat and going to light it.

"Jason, you can't smoke in here!" You scolded as you snatched the cigarette from his mouth.

He frowned before picking up another one. "Why not?"

"Because this is my house, and if my parents find out they're going to be pissed. Now give me your lighter so you won't be tempted." You held your hand out, gesturing towards the lighter he was holding.

He let out a small laugh, assuming you were joking before he realized you weren't. "Aw, come on, you can't be serious."

"I very much am, unless you want to explain to my parents why their house smells like cigarette smoke. Now hand it over."

Veronica held back a laugh as she watched JD reluctantly give you his beloved lighter.

"Thank you, very much," you said as you tucked it into your backpack.

"Well, now I'm bored," JD commented.

"Maybe if you pulled out your textbook and studied for tomorrow's test you wouldn't be," Veronica suggested as she held up her book.

"I don't need to study, I'm sure I'll do fine," he said as he tapped his fingers on the table. "Man, I could really use a smoke right about now."

"See? He's taking the same test we are, why doesn't he have to study?" You asked as Veronica took your copy of the textbook out of your bag.

"Because he's a delinquent who gets himself in trouble on purpose, that's why," she said while handing it to you. "Here's your book, now study."

"This is lame," you mumbled as you sunk down low in your seat.

"Tell me about it. If I had known things were going to be this boring I would have found somebody to piss me off so I'd have an excuse to fake a suicide. At least that would excite me," he joked.

You laughed loudly before seeing the look of judgment on your girlfriend's face. "Ahem, I mean, that's not funny JD, shame on you," you fake lectured while he snorted at your antics.

Veronica playfully rolled her eyes before tapping on the textbook in front of you. "Study."

You crossed your arms over you chest and huffed. "But I don't wanna. Can't I just study later?"

"Study later- the test is tomorrow! How much time do you think you're going to have between now and then to study if you wait?"

You shrugged your shoulders, your boyfriend letting out an amused chuckle as you did so.

"I mean, she's not wrong," he pointed out.

"Oh, shut up JD, you have no room to talk," Veronica huffed, JD holding his hands up in surrender as she did so.

"Why is this so important to you?" You ask as you watch her furiously scribble in the margins of her textbook. "You've never been that much of a stickler when it comes to grades before, so why start now?"

"Because-" she sighed, setting down her pencil, "-when we graduate high school I'm probably going to move somewhere else to go to college, and I don't want you guys to get left behind. That's all."

You and JD shared a look. You'd never thought of it that way before. I mean, sure, Sherwood wasn't the worst place in the world, but it certainly wasn't the best either. The thought of you and JD getting stuck there, barely scraping to get by while Veronica was off seeing the world sent a shiver down your spine.

"Alright, fair enough." If it really meant that much Veronica that you study, then that's what you'd do.

Her face softened into a grateful smile, watching as you opened up your textbook to the notes page. She reached her hand across the table and set it down on yours, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Thanks, honey. I really appreciate it."

"Just know, I'm only doing this for you, okay? There's literally no one else in the world that could convince me to do math homework for them."

Veronica let out a small chuckle before turning her gaze to JD, who had stolen back his lighter and was casually smoking a cigarette.

"Jason!" You exclaimed, reaching over to snatch it from his mouth while Veronica laughed.

~

{Divider by: @celcero}

Main masterlist | Heathers masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @gilmore-angel @alexxavicry

[imtrashraccoon]

Do you have any romantic headcanons or headcanons in general for dirk, maul and reven? Dovovan can be added into the mix too! Just curious on those three since we've only seen how they interact with somebody who they are fighting against, being soulmates with their boss and joining the team. :o so curious on how they would do with somebody they fall for.

Oh boy, oh boy, do I?! So, I'm actually gonna just spitball some general headcanons as well because I love these guys and need to write for them!

The Dark Fortress: Headcanons

Dirk

- He's a really crass kind of person. You've never heard so many different ways to curse before meeting him and most of the time, you have no idea what half of what he says even means. He's also loud, obnoxious, and endlessly flirtatious towards anyone remotely attractive in his eyes. No one is safe, even those in commited relationships, but his advances aren't ever serious. Well, except for when they are.

- He struggles to feel much of anything most days. Which is why he acts the way he does most of the time. He needs stimulation. He needs to stay busy. He needs to interact with people or he'll go crazy. Depending what phase his soul is at the moment also impacts how he responds to people. He doesn't really like talking about his soul though.

- Despite what you might think, and what he insists, he's not from high society. He had very simple beginnings, think a farmer or something to do with physical labour, but he never talks about his childhood. If it ever comes up, he gets deathly quiet and withdrawn. You get the sense that whatever actually happened to him was pretty bad if the guy who never shuts up suddenly refuses to talk.

- He doesn't really talk about anything before he joined up with the band of brigands actually. He likes to boast about all the heists he took part in and how much he made from them. He doesn't talk about what happened to cause him to snap completely and kill the people he used to call brothers, but considering how much he values loyalty, you suspect it's somehow related.

- He's a huge flirt but somewhat surprisingly, he won't pressure you into anything that you aren't comfortable with. If you clearly tell him to stop, he will, no questions asked. He mostly flirts for his own amusement since he finds other people's reactions incredibly funny. He does get up to his own escapades whenever the opportunity presents itself, which isn't as often anymore now that he works for Donovan.

- As for how he'd react towards something more long term? You'd think a guy with a penchant for messing around and flirting with anything that breaths might be a poor choice in a partner. His unyielding loyalty means that he'll be there for you through anything and everything, providing you do the same for him. He's your ride or die, but woe to anyone foolish enough to betray his loyalty.

- With Dirk as a partner, you will never be bored as he won't allow it. He struggles with any type of emotion that isn't passion or violence, but once you become close with him, you'll begin to see an entirely different person.

- Dirk is oddly sweet when he's alone with you. He loves snuggling, usually he'll insist on being the big spoon, and will often find excuses to stay in bed with you. He's a physical touch kind of person already, generally giving it, but he would love it if you did the same for him.

- He's really good at giving compliments and if you're feeling down, he's quick to try and cheer you up. You're his rock and if you're sad, he's gonna be sad and neither of you want to see that.

- He's still a really dangerous person though, even with all his obnoxiousness and flirting. No matter how long you're in a relationship, he's still scared of accidentally hurting you. Oddly enough, being around you does calm him down if he's worked up, so unless he's in an actually dangerous state of mind, you might get shoved into the same room as him if any of the others need him to calm down quickly.

- While he enjoys killing people for the chance to get more EXP, Dirk has a couple of more "normal" hobbies. He likes to "collect" weapons and cool looking armour, even if he won't actually use most of them. He just likes having dangerous and shiny things. He also likes animals, especially cats, but most animals don't do well around the corruption from the dark fortress. If you somehow find him a pet that can survive, you'll be his best friend for a while.

- He knows how to properly use most types of weapons, even some obscure ones, but he prefers a dagger since it's easier to sneak into places he's not supposed to have weapons. He's totally the type to have multiple knives hidden on his person at all times, sometimes even while sleeping.

Maul

- If Dirk is the loudest and most energetic, Maul is the quietest and generally the calmest. He speaks pretty much only when spoken to and when the question can't be answered with a simple yes or no. Even then, he keeps his answers brief and moves on to whatever he was already doing before being interrupted. This changes when he realizes that he likes you though.

- Maul generally keeps to himself when Donovan doesn't have need of him. He's basically a brick wall most of the time anyways, but he does show some emotions at times. This is mostly the occasional grin, raising a bonebrow, or frowning if he's annoyed. It's rare for him to emote since he doesn't want people to know what he's thinking, but occasionally he'll catch himself reacting to something genuinely funny or express some of his frustrations.

- Maul mostly spends his free time doing chores like sharpening his greataxe, maintaining his gear and armour, or working on his hobbies. He enjoys cooking, especially baking, and often is the one in charge of meals. Except for maybe Donovan, who is at least competent in the kitchen, he's the only one who can cook well. Maul also likes taking care of animals or gardening, although it's harder to do either of those now that he's staying in the dark fortress.

- He doesn't talk about himself, at all. If you can somehow start a conversation with him, he'll talk about literally anything else but his past or the things he's done. Just be patient, as his idea of a conversation is letting you do the bulk of the talking while he listens, usually while doing something else, and occasionally answering with grunts or one word answers.

- The thing is, while Dirk is immediately up front if he likes you, Maul isn't really, at least not to any outside observers. He's just doing normal things that anyone would do for others, right? He'll randomly make foods you like, bring you something to drink or eat if you've been busy for a while, and come see you just to "hang out". To the others, it's very, very obvious that he likes you as he pretty much ignores them most of the time, but you might have a more difficult time figuring it out.

- He even starts to engage with you about topics he's knowledgeable on. He knows exactly how to sharpen any weapon or tool and while he may not have as much martial knowledge as Reven, he could probably still teach you a thing or two about throwing your weight around in battle. He doesn't do sneaky or small weapons though so if you want tips, you're fresh out of luck with him.

- He'd love it if you joined in on whatever he's working on. Making food for others is one of his ways of showing he cares, so to do it with a partner is a great way to bond with him. You'll get bonus points if you have experience cooking/baking already, especially if you've memorized recipes or have made up some of your own.

- Maybe when you get really close, he might let you in on his backstory, although it'll take a while to put together all the pieces since he isn't gonna sit you down and explain everything at once. Instead you'll get little comments here and there randomly like how he learned to get meat to stretch as far as possible or how much he despises tyrants. He definitely didn't come from wealth but it's hard to tell if he had a simple upbringing like Dirk or if he was enlisted into military service at a young age. He doesn't care how anyone perceives him anymore but he struggles with believing that anyone could find him anything but scary.

- His head injury has impacted his memory and changed a lot about how he processes emotions and approaches situations. He sometimes takes a bit to respond to questions but at least combat still comes as naturally to him as breathing does. He's much more patient as a result and takes his time doing tasks so they're done correctly the first time.

- He's a very doting lover. All he wants is to have a calm, relaxed life without having to fight for survival each day. If he had his way, you wouldn't have to lift a finger for anything. Things like breakfast in bed and cuddles in the evening by a fireplace are a regular occurrence. He also loves physical touch, both giving and especially receiving, but his larger size makes it a bit difficult for him to be the small spoon while cuddling.

- He's also majorly protective, almost like a guard dog. If he thinks someone's bothering you, he'll come up to you, wrap his arms around you, and frown at them. To you, he doesn't look that scary, but to anyone else outside the dark fortress, he's downright terrifying. He's not above growling at people if they don't get the message but unless you're in an actually dangerous situation, he's more likely to pick you up and leave than actually start a fight. Not that it would be much of a fight for him, but he doesn't enjoy needlessly killing people, especially in front of you.

- He experiences nightmares and zoning out fairly often. He's been through a lot before joining Donovan, including a coup that overthrew the monarchy which resulted in a famine and caused many citizens to suffer. He stood by as people starved and did nothing but follow orders like a good soldier should. It took his own brother attempting to stand up to the tyrannical general for him to act. In the resulting conflict, he was mortally injured although he survived. The head injury left him with a memory gap so that he isn't certain who walked away from the fight or who was dusted. He doesn't even know if his brother made it out or not.

Reven

- Reven is somewhere in the middle, although he tends to be a bit more quiet rather than chatty like Dirk. He generally likes to sit back and observe the situation before injecting himself. He's a schemer by nature and thanks to his incredible observation skills, he often notices details that others won't. If he's approaching you to talk before you have a chance to approach him, it's likely because he thinks he can get something from you.

- He's prone to random outbursts of laughter, especially if the room has been quiet for a while. If asked what's so funny, he usually attempts to brush the question off by claiming that you wouldn't get it. He's aware that it probably makes him look insane but it's the truth.

- He won't readily admit it but he hears the voice of his dead brother constantly as he's haunted by him. It's unclear if it's actually his brother's soul or just a figment of his insanity, but Reven fully believes that he literally has his brother haunting him. While his brother normally has murderous tendencies, if that behaviour isn't directed towards you, then Reven is gonna pay extra close attention.

- You catch him staring a lot, like a lot, a lot. His face is almost always hidden by his hood but you can usually still see his eyelights and feel the intensity of his gaze. Even when you catch a glimpse of his face, it's like he's wearing a mask. His expression rarely changes but when it does, he tends to grin with unknown glee or glare at whatever has irritated him in the moment.

- It often takes a lot to make Reven actually angry, but when something tips him over the edge, you better hope there's nothing particularly valuable or fragile nearby. He wouldn't dream of actually hurting you but there isn't any guarantee that you won't get caught in the crossfire. Most of the time, Dirk is the target of his anger but he likes to purposely rile Reven up when he's bored, which is fairly often.

- It's true that Reven used to be a paladin before snapping. He and his brother were raised in a dusty backwater kingdom that has since collapsed but when they were young, they decided to join a holy order to defend those who couldn't defend themselves. They were brave and noble paladins until disaster struck of course.

- Reven doesn't talk about what actually caused him to snap. It's possible that he was responsible for his brother's death and doesn't know it, or he is very much aware and just refuses to even think about it. Either way, he abandoned the order after this and eventually his insanity led him to become the serial killer responsible for the Crimson Stabbings. His obsessive nature led him to never actually be caught, although he was spotted often enough to become known for his red cuirass.

- He occasionally gets the itch for more EXP and will look for opportunities to kill again, for this reason he isn't usually left alone on stealth missions. He's good at what he does though and with the proper motivation, will complete any mission perfectly without anyone even knowing he was there.

- His obsessive nature can lead to concerning situations, especially if you haven't figured out that he likes you yet. You'll start receiving gifts from an unknown admirer that are very obviously tailored to your preferences. Sometimes you even get the feeling of being watched but there's never anyone there. Hopefully, you already know him before he makes a confession of love and hopefully you accept his affections. Otherwise, well, he doesn't do well with rejection and there's no telling what he'll do.

- He's really sweet when you're in a relationship though. He enjoys spoiling you with little gifts and lives for your gratitude since it makes him feel oddly fuzzy inside. He's also super cuddly and will find any excuse just to sit with his skull on your shoulder and arms around your waist. He also likes PDA and will shamelessly hold your hand in front of others. He may not actually kiss you in public but if he does, it's probably because he thinks it'll upset someone or make you embarrassed, which he thinks is really adorable.

- It goes without saying that his mental state is unstable but just be patient with him. If he's having a bad day, give him some space to calm down but if you approach him later on, he'd love it if you comforted him. You'll probably get confined to the couch with him holding onto you. He's not that heavy as he's a skeleton but it's a bit difficult to move around with a whole person hanging off of you. Best to wait it out.

Donovan

- Donovan is an interesting case. He claims that he can't feel emotions beyond negative ones, which is technically true. Once he finds his soulmate though, he starts to question everything that he knows about himself. While he isn't the person he used to be anymore, maybe there's a semblance of his old self still there?

- No matter how much you look or how many people you ask, there is no information on him. It's as if he just popped into existence or something. He's not exactly one to talk about the past either, which seems to be a running theme by now, but maybe someday he'll tell you what happened to him. He wasn't always covered in corruption or had tentacles protruding from his back after all.

- He's really not a nice person and while he's generally very patient and reserved, even his patience has limits. He tries not to get upset at you but there are times when he inevitably snaps and says something he shouldn't. He usually regrets it immediately afterwards but sometimes he won't notice how upset you are for a few hours.

- Most of the time, he acts cold towards you and the boys but he does care in his own way. He makes sure you have anything you could need to survive and be happy as he struggles with anything more. He's fiercely protective of those he calls his own, which may come as a bit of a surprise at times, but he really does consider you and the boys as his "family".

- He has no patience for foolishness or people trying to deceive him. This is why he might lash out at people and harshly punish those who wrong him. Of course, he's also rather selfish and isn't above just taking what he wants. He very much sees himself as a god and everyone else as being below him.

- He has genuinely sweet moments, although these are strictly reserved for his soulmate. Something about the closeness with an uncorrupted soul seems to almost "heal" his own very damaged one. Maybe there's hope for him after all?

- He's actually a little shy about PDA, although he doesn't mind holding onto you if he can excuse it away with being protective but behind closed doors it's an entirely different story. He loves touching you. He loves how warm your body is, how soft you are, and especially the little noises you make when he touches a ticklish or sensitive spot. He's super mindful of his claws and his own physical strength as he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he seriously hurt you.

- He will gladly snuggle with you and will often drag you into bed if you're taking too long for his liking. He wouldn't force you to do anything you aren't comfortable with but you may have to get firm with him if he's distracted and not listening. His tentacles are basically an extension of his own body and mean he has an even easier time hanging onto you. If anything, he prefers to touch you with them since they are soft and squishy, as well as cool to the touch.

- He was very lonely before the boys and you especially came along. He collected them because their souls ooze negativity and he enjoys having an easy source of it nearby. He also wanted to have henchmen to facilitate his own plans and spreading more negativity. Over time though, he's come to kind of see them as his own and not just pawns. It's an unconventional arrangement at best though and they butt heads a ton, but he's provided a place for the destitute, the lost, and the vagabonds to stay.

- When you've earned his trust and been together for a while, you'll learn about who he used to be and where he's from. This could be through an ancient book that he keeps locked away for safekeeping or through bits and pieces of what he tells you. However, you learn a few things such as how he was once a prince of a lost kingdom, had a twin brother, and barely survived an assassination attempt.

- There was a massive tree at the center of his kingdom which bore two kinds of magic fruit. It was rumoured that if you ate one, you would gain knowledge beyond all measure and the power to defeat all foes. The fruit also had the power to influence your emotions but this wasn't of much interest for those who lusted after them. Donovan ate all of the negative fruit in an attempt to survive a mortal injury and protect the tree. However, he was overwhelmed by the power and failed.

- He aimlessly wandered the world for many years before he grew into his powers and decided to make a move to create his own kingdom. This is why he created the dark fortress and collected the boys. At the moment, his goal is to spread the corruption and his influence, but contrary to what some may think, he isn't all powerful. There are many powerful people out there who may take issue with him if they heard about everything he's done.

[fallenclan]

Salmonpaw is different. She's gray and ginger (at the same time) and has olive green eyes. She can't swim, she just sinks.

Mosspaw is different, in a good way. She's already at the skill level of Moosepaw and Wasppaw and she's two moons younger than them. All the warriors gossip about how fresh of a talent she is, how Maplestar would have to give her her name early.

Nobody ever mentions anything like that to Salmonpaw unless she's being compared to her littermate. You should try harder, Salmonpaw. Pay attention, Salmonpaw. You would be just as good as Mosspaw if you would try harder.

She gets it. Really, she does. Mosspaw is Lightningtail's brilliant daughter, and Salmonpaw still tosses rocks off of the cliff when she's upset.

Moosepaw gets it. Not really, but he listens. And that's what matters to her.

--

Salmonpaw knows nothing about her father.

That's the first thing she realized as soon as she was talking to another apprentice. Her name was Irispaw, and she mentioned that her father looked a lot like her.

"Do you look more like your mom or your dad?" Irispaw asked.

Salmonpaw shrugs, because she doesn't have a dad. It's always just been mom, Lionpaw, and Mosspaw. And you're not supposed to give out secrets about the clan.

Maybe her heritage was just a secret. Maybe her father was dead, and Lightningtail never mentioned him because it hurt her too much.

Salmonpaw is nothing if not straightforward.

"Mom, who's my dad?"

Lightningtail stiffens, and her eyes widen. "What's brought all this on?"

"Some cat at the gathering mentioned her dad, so I wanna know about mine," Salmonpaw briskly says, falling into pace next to Lightningtail.

She looks a little like her mother. Similar eyes and nose shape, spiky untameable fur, and the perpetual need to act first and think later.

"I would rather not discuss it," Lightningtail says, and she walks faster and easily falls into conversation with Sorrelstem.

"What's all that about?" Lionpaw asks.

"What do you know about dad?" Salmonpaw immediately asks.

"Literally nothing," he scoffs. "I asked about half the clan. Nobody knows who our father is, and if they did they won't tell me jack."

--

Salmonpaw stares at the water. Her green-yellow eyes stare back at her.

Mossfrog is a warrior. She's a real talent, and she's smart and a good fighter and she brought back a whole eagle once.

Salmonpaw is an apprentice. She barely slips through her training, and she's an awful swimmer and she still can't catch birds.

--

She's standing by the border. A patrol passes by, and the leader of it has gray fur and green eyes that are the exact same shade as Mossfrog's.

--

Moosefall vanishes for three days.

She knows this, because she waited for three days so they could go hunting and he just didn't show up. Because she was a warrior now, and she could go out unsupervised if she felt like it.

He returns at sundown when it's pouring rain, makes a beeline for his nest, and just sighs.

"Hey," Salmonskip says.

Moosefall makes some noise that sounds somewhat similar to a "hi."

A silence passes. Rain trickles down the cliff face.

"You look like shit."

"Real flattering," Moosefall grumbles.

"I didn't mean it like that!" She backtracks. "I mean, like, are you okay?"

"I still don't know who my father is," Moosefall mumbles. "I spent three days looking. Asking. Not a trace. Best I got was some house-cat-"

"House cat?"

"Kittypet, house cat, same thing," Moosefall snaps, then blinks at his paws. "Sorry. But anyway, she said there was a tom who looked a little like me in the valley a bit ago, but she hadn't seen him for moons."

"That's rough."

"Yeah."

They sit there, in silence.

"I don't know my dad either, if it makes you feel better," Salmonskip offers. "I asked like, once, and mom instantly shut me down."

"Funny, Sorrelstem did the same thing," Moosefall says, then his head flops into her nest and he stops responding.

-

"What's up with you?" Mossfrog asks. Ospreykit, for once, isn't trailing behind her.

"Why do you care?" Salmonskip snaps.

"Because I'm your sister?" Mossfrog asks, like it's common sense, in that sarcastic and belittling tone she tends to use when talking to Salmonskip.

"Don't you have bigger priorities?" Salmonskip says. "Like, I dunno, chasing the deputyship?"

"The hell are you talking about?"

"Come on," she snorts. "We all know you want it. When Hailcrash retires, it's yours, we all know it."

"I have literally no idea what you're talking about," Mossfrog says.

"Can you stop doing that?" Salmonskip snaps.

"Doing what?"

Mossfrog sounds agitated. She always does.

"That thing! Where you act so humble when we all know you're that much better than everyone else!" Salmonskip wheels on her sister, trembling. "We all know you're that much better than everyone."

Mossfrog's eye twitches. "Are you kidding? You think this is easy?"

"You're perfect at everything, everything's easy for you!"

"I don't want to be deputy!" Mossfrog shouts. Her voice echoes around the empty mountain.

"You.." Salmonskip pauses. "You.. huh?"

"I don't want to be deputy. Stars, you think this is simple? Everyone's always looking at me like I know everything since I graduated a couple moons early! Everyone thinks I'm really smart or talented and I don't even know why!"

Salmonskip stops. Her claws dig into the rock.

"Yeah, sure, I'm a good warrior, but that's literally all I am!" Mossfrog's voice raises to a wail, her green eyes glistening. "I don't even know what my favorite prey is! I've spent my whole life trying to be a decent warrior, but now I'm a decent warrior and I don't know what to do with myself."

Salmonskip remains silent.

"You don't get it! You have a favorite prey, you like hawk legs. You have a favorite color, you like blue! And you have a favorite person!"

"Mossfrog?" Salmonskip finally asks.

"I don't know who I am anymore," Mossfrog says. "If I'm not a warrior, what am I?"

Salmonskip doesn't say anything.

Mossfrog is right, in a way. She's always thrown herself into being such a great warrior. She has so many expectations on her shoulders.

Salmonskip is wrong. Mossfrog isn't high and mighty. She isn't on par with the stars and the sky.

Mossfrog is her sister. The same sister who made her moss balls when hers broke, the same sister who helped her finally learn to catch birds. The same sister who saved her hawk leg as an apprentice because she knew it was her favorite. The same sister who used to complain she wasn't feeling good so Salmonskip could get on the same patrol as Moosefall.

They don't say anything.

"So, dad," Mossfrog says. Her voice is shaky and hoarse. "What do you know about him?"

"Nothing," Salmonskip snorts. "Zero idea who he is."

"Is he even really our dad?" Mossfrog asks. "He's never been here for us. Lightningtail and Sorrelstem did everything."

"I guess not," Salmonskip shrugs.

Mossfrog pauses. "I like the morning sky. Like, when it's blue and stuff and the sun is all bright. It hurts Lionsong's eyes but I think it's pretty."

"I like the river," Salmonskip says. "I can't swim, but Moosefall likes to dive in and get me lilies from the other side. It's cute."

"Oh? Moosefall?" Mossfrog leans in. "Moosefall, known for his interest in shiny pebbles, with my sister, who throws rocks off cliffs?"

Salmonskip shoots her a look of mocking offense. Mossfrog waves her tail, the universal sign of surrender. They stare at eachother, unblinking, until finally bursting into laughter.

--

Mossfrog is the calm, star speckled blue water of the lake. Salmonskip is the bright, burning sun that fades into a coursing river.

They are different, but they're also the same.

-🍭 (mossfrog if being a burnt out gifted kid was a career 💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵)

(a/n: hope i did a good job at illustrating the animosity btwn salmon and moss,, i really wanted to capture that feeling of being the sibling of a 'perfect child' and how that pressure to live up to them affects you)

OHHHHH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD???? HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS IM GOING INSANE RAHHHHH YOU ARE MAKING ME HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!! lollipop this is so well written im biting im tearing im chewing aughghghghg

[saintjosie]

I agree the joke was tasteless, no intention of defending it, but assuming bad-faith is a very good way to make using the internet a miserable experience. I'm not saying you have to take the time to educate people who are wrong and saying horrendously stupid or out of touch shit. I'm just saying life got easier for me when I approached situations like that with the perspective of "what's the least hostile reason they could be saying this" bc 9/10 times unless someone is spewing actual hate speech or making threats their either just uniformed or phrased things poorly leading to misunderstanding.

Anyway I hope people stop bothering you about this.

im getting a lot of these in my inbox and this one is one of the nicer ones so im just gonna respond about demilypyro this once

look i get it. i really do. ive been doing tiktok for years and that first year was absolutely miserable because i didnt know how to do that. now, 95% of the time, i just block and move on cause it genuinely isnt worth my time to care about it.

and what ive found is that directly addressing hate speech pretty much goes nowhere and is just bound to end up in frustration for me and fuel for the fire elsewhere.

but i promise that im not just reading with bad-faith intentions. this isn't the first time that something that demilypyro has said that has rubbed me the wrong way. and tbh, i had no idea who she was until i got on tumblr and i saw a lot of people circulating the occasionally very funny things she has to say. i do my best to give people the benefit of the doubt (especially on text based social media) but after following her for a second and seeing a lot of "shitposts" that were questionable at best and several that were just downright distasteful, i decided that i didnt care for her and unfollowed and moved on and since shes fairly popular on here, i also started unfollowing people who would rb her too.

recently i had to unfollow someone who said something incredibly icky involving minority consent and so i went through and followed some people who had followed me and who i thought posted funny things bc thats mostly what im here for. and one of those people just so happened to rb something she said that just triggered me so hard with the sheer stupidity and harmfulness of it.

i have a very very sore spot for religious trauma (something ive always been super open about) and i have little to no tolerance for when people say dumb privileged things AND i have little to no tolerance for specifically when white (or in this case white passing) trans femmes specifically say privileged things. and this just hit all of those spots. it was quite cathartic for me to say what i said and i have no doubt that there's gonna be a lotta people who disagree and unfollow. there's some people who will get it, a lot of people who won't, and maybe even some people who might change their minds and this is important enough to me that it's worth it.

[zoeykallus]

Hi there, i assume you're most likely flooded with requests currently but here's my shot if you feel like it : how about how the Badbatch reacting to their s/o posting simple normal stuff on their social media (like spotify links, cute pics all that)? I think that would be so cute 🥰🥰🥰 i don't think you've done something like this before so it's totally okay if you don't want to!

Aloha!

Indeed, I am, and I barely have time to work through them, but I do, bit by bit, hoping no one hates me for being so slow 😬😅 Interesting question. Let me look into this....

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Your Social Media

Warnings: Mostly Fluff/Maybe Slightly Angsty

______________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

______________

>Master List<

Tech

Our shy Tech uses social media to find out things about you, even before you're a couple. Stalker? Yes and no. Basically, he just uses it to try to find out what music you like, what movies, if you like to read, and if so, what books. Tech spends a lot of time browsing.

He is looking for information about you that will make it easier for him to start a conversation with you, to surprise you in a positive way and to respond to you. Tech feels more confident approaching you when he already has some background information.

But he also likes to check in on things in the future, keep up to date. He's often in the tunnel at work, and that's how he finds out if he's missed anything when he's on a mission. Maybe you've discovered a new favorite song, or something culinary, or you're reading a new book.

Of course, he doesn't miss the opportunity to send you links to reports, documentaries and the like, about whatever he's excited about. The last link was a report about upcoming, groundbreaking new hyperspace technology.

Hunter

He has no idea about social media, he himself has had no contact with it until now, and Hunter has never been interested in it. Until Wrecker points out to him that you're on social media.

"Have you seen that funny Loth cat video your sweetheart shared?"

Hunter frowns.

"What, shared, I don't quite understand."

Wrecker shows and explains everything to him in general terms, and Hunter ends up making a social media account on the Holonet. The cat video was amusing, but not the reason. He wants to know what else you share, if maybe there are hobbies he doesn't know about, or events you'd like to attend.

In fact, three days later he surprises you with tickets to an event you're dying to attend, but can't find the money in time.

Hunter doesn't spy on you, you can do whatever you want. He just picks out a few little things, like this event, to make you happy.

Echo

He stays away from it completely. In fact, he hates this social media nonsense. There was even a whole format of its own for clones, and he remembers well how some of his brothers used to act online. He doesn't really need that.

You can do whatever you want, of course, but he won't touch that stuff unless you explicitly ask him to. Echo still won't spend much time on it, just occasionally liking one of your shared posts, but that's all you can expect from him.

Echo is not comfortable on the Holonet, it's not nearly the same, yet it always kind of reminds him of his imprisonment by the Techno Union.

"You spend way too much time with this devil stuff".

Wrecker

He is all over the place. Wrecker has an account on every social media site, and he posts as regularly as he can. Cute and funny animal videos mostly and in stark contrast, videos of explosions. Every now and then a music video and articles about guns and explosives.

In fact, he bombards his pages so hard that sometimes you completely lose track of what's going on and don't really manage to keep up. But Wrecker miraculously knows, despite his own constent-posting, what's going on with you in social media.

Among other things, you once posted a picture of him when an admirer wouldn't leave you alone. After endless attempts to get rid of him and several block attempts whereupon the nag just kept making new accounts, you shared Wrecker's picture in full gear, with you next to him.

"This is my boyfriend, if you want me, work it out with him".

Wrecker drops the holopad laughing and says, "What's going on? You didn't tell me that someone was bugging you."

You shrug your shoulders, "Always wrote to me privately. I thought it was time to expose that person."

"Hm," growls Wrecker, "Let me know if he doesn't stop."

Crosshair

One of those who talk badly about social media, very badly, avoid it for quite a while and then suddenly sink into it almost like an addict. Crosshair has his holopad in his hand every free minute, checking his messages, new links and likes.

Crosshair will never admit it, but he really enjoys the attention, being anonymous in a way and still being noticed. Of course, he also digs through your social media, and you can assume that he scrutinizes everything.

He knows the guys who are on the Internet, make immoral offers, send nude pictures and want to have nude pictures and so on. Otherwise, he flies over the things rather so casually, he's not really interested, he rather wants his contributions to be seen, shared and liked.

[konigsblog]

whorentia or however it was spelt, literally has in her pinned post about not bullying people for their preferences, being yourself and having fun etc. but orla, when people do that to you, you have to accept it!!!! you can’t block them!!!! they might find something out about you!!! 💀

a reply also said people might just come across your post without realising you were a dark content writer after you literally already said that your posts have warnings. if that’s the case, it would literally be impossible to not know what they’re going to read. people are really trying to grasp at every last thing possible to make you look bad. deep down they know they can just block but for some reason they don’t and they choose to be upset about it. this is why these people have so much hatred, because they’re always so negative and can’t take responsibility of their own content consumption. i always wonder if these people are actually 18+ because the way they act always seems really immature.

honestly it's laughable!! i know exactly WHO they're talking about. because they're all friends, they're following each other. there's three people involved, and a couple names i won't be mentioning because i have a suspicion they may be underage, while one is a confirmed minor. definitely weird how one account made FOUR different accounts to send me a message simply because they couldn't keep their immaturity to themselves, then acted as if i was obsessed, while they probably have a whole group chat dedicated to me by the looks of it, it wouldn't surprise me.

look, people need to realise that you're not owed an explanation for why you're blocked. it was pretty funny to see them not make one singular valid and clear point and then call me immature for blocking them because they were being disrespectful and disregarding my boundaries, while they had made countless comments and accounts to try speak to me. i wasn't surprised they were underage honestly.

they acted as if i got my friends to harass them. i didn't get anyone to respond to them, my friends chose to do it, whether that's because they wanted to support me, or had an opinion they wanted to share themselves. when you post a comment publicly, you have to be prepared for comments, responses, and opinions form other people. if they didn't want to receive responses, then they should've kept their comment to themselves.

and the person you mentioned? yeah, pretty strange how they say you shouldn't judge someone for their preferences, while doing the exact same thing. these people are hypocrites; they don't care if it happens to you, just as long as it isn't them.

and the other person (you know who you are, if you're reading this — which you shouldn't be able to, considering you're blocked, but i assume you keep tabs on people... 🥴😬) they acted as if i blocked them because they asked me questions respectfully. they were respectful in the dms, but began to reblog hate posts about me. don't act oblivious. i mean seriously? what did you expect? when you reblog hate posts about me, agreeing with them in any way, i will 100% block you.

i won't continue talking about these people, and i won't be mentioning their usernames (unless you want to block them yourself, then message me), because again, i have doubts they're actually adults, and can tell one person in particular wants attention BADLY.