#I would apologise for complaining but the third time doing that feels like too many haha

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Turns out Gravol works wonders on my nausea and I can’t believe I didn’t realise this sooner. I think it’s the fact that my parents are always implying I’m being a pain for suffering with it and that I should just eat stuff that makes me feel nauseous and deal with it and because of that I internalised that’s it’s a personal weakness of mine, like a flaw in my character that I have to endure because it’s my fault. (I’ve also had this thought process about chronic pain, for the same reason. Yes I’m totally normal and not traumatised and living in my brain is just so fun!) But it turns out that no, I just have a chronic condition and there are things I can do about that!

[chil2de]

hi yes the benimaru fic i mentioned earlier— fire force fandom will you let me in please??🥺🥺 i don’t know what i’m dealing with fanbase wise mmfldjfj sometimes it feels like i’m head over heels for bens by myself so... i’ll drop this here for now.. see how it goes and i’ll continue w/ a second part if ff isn’t dead

nsfw themes throughout, so please read my disclaimer if you’re new. enjoy :)

w.c: 1.7k, characters: 9.6k (incl spaces)

-

there’s a certain sluggish quality that plagues your movements. it’s not fatigue or incompetence. or so benimaru would hope.

his mix matched gaze glosses over your unnecessary movements. that extra exhale you hiss, the additional bat of your eyelashes and the excessive perspiration that drips onto the earth below.

“stop.” he commands, tone low and stern as it pierces through the open air.

“huh? captain shinmon, i’m fine. we can keep going.” you huff through laboured breaths, pausing to gasp and drink in the plentiful oxygen around you.

“it’s one thing if you’re overworking your muscles. it’s another if you’re running a fever. go inside.”

“b-but captain-“

benimaru shoots you a dead stare, keeping his statement rooted deep where he stands.

judging by the bruises that adorn your knees, you know better than to disobey the captain.

“waka! have you seen (l/n)?” konro lingers in the doorframe of the main communal area, gaze scanning for one of his colleagues.

“she’s in her room. why?”

“her room? she has a few errands to run. is she feeling okay?”

“she’s running a fever.” benimaru exhales, shifting to get up from the table. he lightly scratches the back of his neck, adorning that usual aloof facial expression.

“in the middle of summer? how’d that happen?” konro chuckles through a small glimpse of bewilderment. of course he’d be concerned for one of his best recruits.

“hell if i know. what do we need? i’ll head out.”

if anything, benimaru is probably the sole reason why you’re running a fever. why he subjected to railing you underneath water that felt like it was nearing sub-zero was beyond you. it’s not like he’s about to admit he enjoys fucking his special little fire soldier. how he relishes and engrains the sight of your fucked out facial expression deep into his head, burning the image into his retinas. shit, you wouldn’t be surprised if the reason why he sometimes spaces out is because of you.

it’s always been blatantly obvious that you’re the captain’s favourite, no matter how much he denies it and how many glares he shoots at the people from other companies. you’re always left apologising for his behaviour, attempting to keep a straight face.

for the one time you dragged him out to patrol with you, and the amount of incessant whining, complaints and bribes you offered your captain, after a full month of lovely slow burn he decided to come along with you. he just up and left, had the audacity to turn around and ask you why you’re still standing there. benimaru always kept his distance to yours close, in fact the separation was almost minimal. you could feel his shoulders ghost over you.

every time he noticed someone staring at your figure for a little bit too long to be deemed appropriate, he hissed a scoff of distaste. at around the third or fourth person, you were already forced to deal with his short temper.

“what the hell are you gawking at? mind your damn business.”

but sure. apparently you’re not his favourite.

he can scoff and complain all he wants, but that won’t stop him even now from lazily snaking his hand around to his favourite baby girl’s waist. to him, this seems like the most normal thing.

“how else is she going to stand upright? she’s all stick and bones, the wind will knock her right over.”

okay, benimaru. you keep telling yourself that. even when his fingers feel an itch every time they’re not touching a part of your skin. he tends to get a whole lot more mouthy and irritable every time you’re not around, too.

hell, even his own townsfolk pick up on the fact that he’s out and about more. rounds that he always left to the lesser important underlings became more commonplace, especially with you by his side.

but the things that go on behind closed doors?

his peppermint red eyes that haunt your mind, infiltrating your very thoughts. you could be minding your business, going on about your day until you get an abrupt flicker of his mundane tic-tac-toe gaze staring up at you from in between your thighs.

you could be taking care of hinata and hikage, entertaining their antics when you feel the weight of benimaru’s stare burn holes into your uniform.

you could be doing your daily sparring with the captain. in the zone, breath held and blood stream steady until you remember the feel of his hot tongue trailing along the side of your neck. for someone who seems to be stuck in a perpetual state of sadness, you always catch the arrogant smirk that pulls at his lips.

“thinking of something?” he’ll cock his eyebrows, using the distraction to take a jab to your gut.

you groan, stirring around in your bed. you hate him, hate that stupid half lidded gaze of his. you hate how soft his wavy jet black locks are. the way the strands tug and bend whenever you try to yank his face away from your cunt. you run your fingers through your hair in a valiant yet futile attempt to free your thoughts from your captain. it’s only three o’clock in the afternoon, and you haven’t done anything but reminisce about your lover for the past hour and a half.

a meek and uneven sigh hisses from your lips. your eyes screw open and you flinch at the hard sunlight that pours in from the window. as you use the inner portion of your elbow to shield your gaze, you catch glimpse of a very familiar figure in the doorway.

“captain shinmon?” you inquire, propping yourself up onto your elbows. he closes the door behind him. you’re certain that you looked like a loyal dog sat panting and wagging its tail upon discovering the return of their owner.

“excited to see me?” he remarks in a flat tone, opening the grocery bag he’s carrying before setting a few things down onto your nightstand. it’s mostly medicine, though he snags a few of your favourite snacks and drinks. there’s also one of those fascinating green tea bottles that you buy at the vending machines, except they’re served piping hot.

“how’re you feeling?”

“i told you i was going to get sick if we had the water that cold.” you huff, averting your gaze in a fit.

“not my problem you can’t take a little temperature difference”

“a little? that shit was freezing! how the hell can you take water that cold?”

“how can you not?”

you chuckle a little, shifting to stare up at the ceiling.

“don’t you have paperwork to do?”

“you know i don’t do paperwork. sure as hell not gonna start doing it now.” benimaru huffs, kicking his boots off by the door. you can hear his clothes rustling and your head snaps to face him. he shoots you a glare, as though to scold you. it’s dripping on his face. ‘really? you’re so eager.’

“move up.” he cocks his head to the side, motioning for you to move over. you shift up, room spinning a little too much for your tastes. the mattress dips with his weight and his right arm (our left) reflexively hangs in the air for you to dip your head into the crook of where his shoulder and collarbone meet. he discards his navy kimono, the article of clothing hangs on one of the hooks at the back of your door. it’s probably not much comfort for him to be relaxing in a bed with half of his uniform still on.

you squish your face against his hard chest, head rising and falling in time with his breathing. the said arm relaxes and his hand rests against your shoulder. subsequently, you realise this is the first time you’ve seen him fully without his kimono on. at the very least, he’d still have the other sleeve on.

benimaru notices your blatant staring at his other arm. he can’t comprehend why you’d gawk at it now, since he’s used it plenty of times to choke you.

he hums a small ‘hm’ in question, asking you what you’re so fascinated about. you can feel his voice thrum and rock against his chest, it sends small shivers licking your body that he doesn’t miss.

“you look so funny without your kimono on. why don’t you wear it like this more often?” you drag your nails softly against his biceps. there’s a small groan that hisses from him. as you await his response, you outline a large vein that runs from his upper arm and trails down all the way to his wrist.

“i get cold easily.”

“then why did you take a shower with me?”

“are you hearing yourself?”

surely a little bit of his body temperature was enough to sacrifice. even if it meant he was sneezing a little bit and shivering afterwards.

“seriously? you can take a tranquiliser but you can’t stand a little cold?”

“you’ll make a shitty wife if you can’t even keep me warm.”

“beni!” you hiss at benimaru in appaul, craning your face up to guffaw at him. the manners on him sometimes are despicable.

you pout, shifting your upper weight to flick benimaru in between his eyebrows. he screws his face in mutiny, lips curled into a scowl.

you and him both know that if it were anyone else flicking him like that, they’d be sent crashing through six different blocks of houses down the street.

“oi.” he warns you, tutting.

“konro come by and work some voodoo magic bullshit on you? ‘cause you’re testing your luck by pissing me off. you’re such a menace when you’re sick, it’s unbelievable.”

you hum in awe, inching your face closer towards his. there’s a wave of mockery that paints your face green and you can only laugh at the unrest that swirls in benimaru’s eyes.

he won’t have his pet talking down to him like that. no, no. that just won’t do.

“oh? really? you want me to do it again?” you flash him a cocky smirk, digits curled into a flicking position. you rest the bridge of your middle finger against benimaru’s forehead, slicking some of his charcoal stained locks out the way.

his left hand flies to catch your hand in an instant. with just two of his fingers, he can wrap himself around your wrist. his touch is assertive, firm. he can drag you the fuck away from him as he pleases, but there’s no real malice or force behind him just yet.

“yeah? try me.” he barks, peering down at you through his lashes.

you just might.

[miraculermarinette]

Remember in my post about Adrien stans I was talking about one stan who said only ugly guys can harass someone in the end of the post? This, this is the comment I was referring to. There’s so much to unpack here. 

First of all, the statement that just because Adrien is hot, his harassment towards Ladybug is “flattering” and harassment can only be done by ugly people. This is so ridiculous that I can’t even take it seriously. Shallow much? No one wants to be treated how Chat noir treats Ladybug by ANYONE. At least I know I don’t. His actions do seem uncomfortable many times. It is like saying a hot guy can do anything and he shouldn’t be held accountable but if an ugly guy does the same thing, he should be arrested. Harassment is harassment, no matter who does it.

Fun fact: Cat noir has been pushy a lot of times. And yes, she doesn’t want him. And that is exactly why he should stop acting like that. 

Second, she enjoys the playful banter that passes between them, not the kissing, pushiness and guilt tripping. I think you misinterpreted the weredad scene. Remember Miracle Queen? Where she was happy when she thought cn had a girlfriend? In weredad, she was complaining about him moving on to herself as Marinette because at that time, when everybody thought she was in love with him, him being in love with her would only pose as another problem as now she would have to date him or else everyone else would question why she said she was in love with him at the first place. That is why, she was complaining about Chat moving on from Ladybug, not bcoz she was jealous of herself. 

Third, yes, sometimes his words make her feel better about herself and there’s no denying that. But apart from those moments, there are also times when his love for her made her feel bad and made her apologise (remember glaciator? and frozer?).  He crosses the lines with his flirting many times. Prime queen is a prime example of that. Not to mention Oblivio too. 

Last of all, what Adrien stans don’t get is that she cannot react way too violently all the time with him. This would severely affect their partnership and so she avoids it and controls herself. Glaciator 2 was her breaking point where she was absolutely fed up and took some action. There actually is a problem. The fact that if you have been led on to believe that his harassment is ok, there may be many other children who want to treat others like that or want to be treated like that, which is totally unhealthy. 

Yes, Marinette herself has done bad stuff, but the thing is she is always humiliated for it. She has to face consequences, either directly or indirectly. I am not saying everything she does is ok, it is not, but it’s still better than Adrien’s who never has to face even a minor inconvenience. 

Sorry for the long essay.

[awanderingdeal]

An unfair race

I finally finished this! This fic is kind of a follow on to Endless Nights. Note: That fic is rated M and contains some sexual content, but you do not need to read it for this to make sense. I wanted to combine Finn talking with Heather, and an aspect of the discussion after that fic, where we talked about athletes in particular using exercise as a coping mechanism, and how this can sometimes turn unhealthy.

Some content warnings for this one: over exercise (if you'd like to skip the explicit description of this, skip to after the first stars, although there are a couple of mentions throughout), food mentions, self-depreciation and mentions of coming out/being outed.

Rating: T

If you feel I missed any content warnings or need to change the rating, please drop me a message!

The characters in this fic are from the sweater weather universe and belong to @lumosinlove

Finn’s entire body ached as his feet pounded against the path once more. His form was sloppy now, shoulders too hunched over and his strides falling without any real control. He forced himself onwards, breaths coming in fast pants, the straining muscles of his quads screaming desperately for more oxygen. And yet, his brain still whirred, obnoxiously loud thoughts pushing their way back to the forefront each time Finn managed to grasp a few blissful quiet seconds. He’d lost count of the number of times he’d passed the statue of the girl and her ducks, the smile on her face that he normally found so comforting becoming more and more irritating with each meeting. As he came to the gates of the park, Finn contemplated going home, but even just the reduced speed had brought the taunting thoughts back with a vengeance. One more go.

***

"H, has her jacket on. Has everybody got their game faces ready, boys?" It had been at least 30 minutes since James had made the joke as they all tumbled from the locker room, yet the sound of bright laughter still rang in Finn's ears.

He watched as Heather tugged her suit jacket more tightly around her, their eyes meeting for the third time in short succession. Fuck. Finn pushed his tongue against his mouthguard, sinking his teeth into the hard plastic. Later, self-inflicted as the need would be, he would complain about the new one he’d have moulded, each guard always feeling slightly different. For now, the rhythmic clench of his jaw was soothing.

Finn forced a breath through his nose, trying not to react too visibly as Heather dipped her head once more to add another scribbled note to the small, black book she carried everywhere. He forced himself to look away, knowing his constant glances were giving away his unease. Whilst Heather didn’t come to every training session, not even most, it wasn’t that uncommon to see her hovering around the edges of the ice, and ordinarily, only the very newest of the team paid any attention to her beyond an initial greeting.

“Earth to O’Hara!”

Finn held up his hand in apology, shaking himself back to the training session. Kasey’s eyes bored into him. It wasn't his usual intense stare, but something more concerned and Finn waited for the inevitable question. After a long few seconds, Kasey's eyes dropped to the puck, passing it back to Finn to take another shot.

The numbers on the clock inched forwards, slow and heavy like the sweet sticky molasses Leo was so fond of. Still, when Coach finally dismissed them for the day, Finn found himself wanting to take another lap. If he could get his thighs to burn enough then his head would race a little less, and it wouldn’t be too suspicious; Finn’s record of being last on the ice was surpassed only by Sirius. Before Finn could really consider it, Leo was next to him, knocking their shoulders together.

“Hey,” Leo cocked his head slightly, hair ruffled from the mask he’d recently pulled off and his pale skin glistening with sweat. He looked as beautiful as ever. Illogical as it was, it somehow made the dull ache in Finn's chest worse. "Everything good?"

"Yeah," Finn tried for a smile. "Busy brain today, that's all." There was no point brushing the question off completely; Leo was scarily observant. He and Logan often joked that he had eyes in the back of his head. Finn had no doubt he had caught the many pucks he had missed over the last hour.

"That sucks," Leo said, scepticism leaking into his voice. "Is there anything I can do to help?" Finn followed his glance behind them to where Logan was tussling with Jackson, loud rumblings of French intertwined with their laughter. "Or Lo, perhaps?"

"I like it when he looks like that,” Finn sighed.

"Mmm, me too” Leo hummed, his features softening. “Don’t think I didn’t notice that change of subject though, Sir. You don’t have to talk to me about it, but please don’t bottle it all."

Finn slumped into his stall, smiling as Leo lifted his hand to press a kiss to the knuckles. “I’m dealing with it.”

“Baby,” Leo started, his next word morphing into a stunted exhalation of air. His eyes closed briefly, his shoulders squaring before he relaxed them. He opened his mouth again, the sentence uttered clearly not what he’d originally planned on saying. "I'm going to take my padding off and head to see Lars. I think Loops is sticking around so I can get a ride with him if you two want to go home?"

Finn thought back to the quiet look of concern on Logan's face after he'd got home from his run the previous evening, and to the creased lines of worry at the corners of Leo's eyes earlier. "I think I might go and see Heather," he shrugged.

"Thank God," Logan appeared, wrapping his arms around Finn's waist. "Your runs were getting ridiculous."

"You didn't say anything?" Finn turned in Logan's arms, to rest his chin on top of his head.

"We were going to give you one more day. Leo wanted to speak to you this evening, only I had faith.”

"Oh, fuck off," Leo laughed. "You were just avoiding the conversation."

“I’m offended that you would even suggest that,” Logan burrowed into Finn’s chest. The sweat soaked gear they wore didn’t smell great, but neither of them seemed to care.

Moody huffed as he veered around them, his arms filled with tape. “No canoodling in the locker room.”

***

“As lovely as this chat has been Finn, if you really did just come in to catch up then I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’ve got a couple of sessions this afternoon, and a mound of paperwork to complete,” Heather shifted in the forest green bucket chair. They were new since Finn had last been in here, replacing an ugly leather thing that Heather had always complained was too stereotypical. She’d removed her jacket now that she was back in her heated office, the item hung on the back of the door where it rightfully belonged.

Finn, freshly showered and changed, sat cross legged in the chair opposite. He reached forward to grab more pretzel sticks from the bowl on the table between them, puckering his lips as his tongue protested another injection of salt. “You know there is something I could do with your opinion on.”

Despite the reaction being minute, Finn saw the tiny upwards quirk of Heather’s lips. “Go on,” she encouraged.

“It’s dumb,” Finn muttered, drumming his fingers against the arm of the chair.

“Thoughts don’t have moral value Finn, it’s what we do with that’s important.” Heather pulled a handful of tissues from a box on the table, holding them out. “Tap away, but please spare the upholstery.”

“Sorry,” Finn grimaced, cleaning his hands of the salty residue.

“No need to apologise, I’m just still a bit precious about the new furniture.” Heather smiled. “Why do you think your issue is dumb?”

“It’s -” Finn tugged at his sleeve. “I can just never be happy with what I’ve got can I? I spent 8 years saying that if Logan could just love me back then I’d never complain again. And now I’ve got Logan and Leo and I’m still not happy.”

“What’s making you unhappy?

Finn breathed in deeply, scrunching his eyes shut. He’d spent weeks stuffing the pain into the tiniest box he could in his brain, and now here Heather was asking him to just - talk about it?

“Finn, look at me?” Finn did as he was asked, lifting his head to find Heather’s kind eyes. “I’m going to reiterate something I’ve said before. You can say anything you want here. It doesn’t matter if it’s selfish or unkind or if you think it’s stupid. Unless I think you’re a danger to yourself or anybody else, then nobody is going to hear about it.”

Finn bit his lip, wiggling his toes beneath his legs. “I get jealous,” he rushed out. “I get jealous of Cap and Loops and Potts and Lily and all those other couples who just get to hug and kiss and tell the cameras how stupidly in love they are.” He paused, the panic of having told somebody matching the relief, but now the words had started tumbling out he couldn’t stop. “I get so angry about it. Sometimes, for the tiniest second, I hate them. All of them.” he whispered, barely able to admit it. “And then I just feel worse. Because I love them too and it’s not their fault. Cap and Loops didn’t even get a choice in the matter. How messed up is it to be jealous of somebody that got outed?”

“Emotions are complex. It is possible for you to have sympathy for Sirius and Remus, whilst still feeling jealous that they now can be more open about their relationship.”

'I don't like it," Finn huffed. The sentence had come out mimicking a toddler having a tantrum. Finn wanted to act like one too, to throw himself on the floor and scream.

“Have you spoken to Leo or Logan about it?”

“No,” Finn frowned. “It would just make them sad and I don’t want them to pressure them. I don’t want them to know I think such horrible things.”

“Okay,” Heather nodded. “Imagine one of them came to you and told you everything you’d just told me. What would you say to them?”

“Wait.” A distressed noise fell from Finn’s lips. “Do they talk to you about this too? Both of them make a comment here or there, but we talked about it not long ago and we agreed that we weren’t ready.”

“Finn, you know I can’t tell you about what I discuss with Leo or Logan.”

“It was worth a shot,” Finn shrugged.

“So, what would you say?”

“I’d say they are entitled to be jealous. I'd say it’s not fair we don’t get to do everything the others do just because the world is homophobic and close minded and can’t imagine the three of us could love each other exactly the same as every other more traditional couple. I’d say that I know they don’t hate Cap or Loops or Potts or Lily, they hate the situation and that’s completely understandable. It fucking sucks and they can be angry about it." Finn drew in a hulking breath, Heather's outline a little blurred through his wet eyes. Each word had sent an aching pain through his body, similar to when he ran, only now he felt like was chasing something cathartic rather than running away.

"Earlier you said what you had to tell me was dumb," Heather said. "Can you explain why you think that it's dumb for you to feel that way, horrible even, but if it were Leo or Logan their feelings are valid."

"Maybe it's not dumb," Finn looked down at his hands, tracing over the freckles there. "But that doesn't change the fact I don't like having those thoughts. Especially when I don't want to act on them. I’m okay with waiting to tell people about us, if we ever do. They're not ready. I'm not ready."

"That’s something we can work on. Helping you to reframe those thoughts, I mean.” Heather slipped her notebook from where it had been tucked beside her and made a note. Finn leaned his elbow on his leg, tucking his chin onto his fist, trying to make his attempts to see the page surreptitious. Capping her pen, she gave a small chuckle, “I’m just leaving myself a reminder of what we’ve discussed. You can always ask what I’m writing, I’m not trying to keep secrets from you.”

Finn sat back, the book no longer quite so interesting now that it wasn’t forbidden. “So? That’s it?”

Heather hummed. “For today. I think you’ve got a lot to think about already. I’ll schedule some more sessions with you over the next few days, okay? It’ll give me a chance to get some new pretzels.”

"Thanks," Finn laughed, then gestured at the empty bowl. "For the pretzels. And the talk."

“That’s what I’m here for,” Heather said. “I’m just going to ask one thing of you before I see you next. Please try to keep your evening runs to a reason-”

“Who snitched?”

“There was no snitching, as you call it. We’ve just known each other for a while now, Finn. And as an employee of the Lions whose job it is to make sure you’re at top playing ability, I don’t want you to injure yourself. As your psychologist, I want you to have healthy coping mechanisms and exercising to that extent is not healthy.”

“I know,” Finn unfolded his legs, stretching them out. They’d gone stiff after being sat on for so long, the sensation coming back with an uncomfortable tingle. “I’ll try to keep the runs in check, promise.” His gaze fell on the closed door, steeling himself to leave. He stood, sending Heather one last smile. It was safe in here, but his boys were out there.

“See you soon, Finn.”

Stepping out of the office, Finn closed his eyes, giving himself a second to compose himself. A rustle of movement to his left caught his attention, startling a little at the sight of Leo and Logan. They sat on the floor, Leo’s hand resting on Logan’s knee where they were hunched to his chest.

“Sorry,” Leo scrambled to his feet, his arm outstretched to let Logan pull himself upright too. “We didn’t want to wait too far away. In case, well, I don’t know, you needed us.”

Finn joined them, immediately finding Logan attached to his side, his familiar warmth exactly what he wanted right now. “I’m okay,” he assured. “I’m not sure I’m ready to talk about it with you guys just yet. I need a bit of time to process, but just you being here makes things better. I’m going to see Heather a bit more too.”

“Proud of you.” Leo flanked him on the other side, taking his hand. Finn didn’t get to be in the middle often, Logan usually claiming the spot, and he felt like he had a kind of shield. “We just want you to be happy. And safe.”

“Can we go home, please?”

“Ouais, home,” Logan agreed.

[6sakusa]

“don’t know.” sakusa kiyoomi.

warnings: angst, implications of a toxic relationship, mild swearing, me not proof reading. wc: 1.5k

“what the hell is that even supposed to mean.” you felt like a fool, and this most definitely wasn’t the first time. you struggled against raising your voice even though your boyfriend sakusa was clearly provoking this reaction out of you. he sat calm and collected as ever on the freshly painted wooden chair that was perched outside your favourite restaurant where he had decided to take you today, however things clearly weren’t going as planned.

the two of you had been sat here for a couple minutes, him criticising you in the most passive way possible, and you reacting in a way that completely opposed his own demeanour. as talented as sakusa kiyoomi was in volleyball, he was just as great at complaining and nitpicking at every single thing you did. you were convinced he was tired of you, you weren’t sure why he was still keeping you around, perhaps for entertainment? or was it because the two of you had been together for so long already that he wasn’t ready to let go? you couldn’t be sure.

he stared across at you, his facial expression was unchanging apart from the slight raise of his eyebrow that was warning you to watch your tone as his eyes flicked from your clenched fists on the table and back to meet your eyes. “i’m just saying it would make my life a lot easier if you were more obedient, that’s all.” he picked up the menu, squinting slightly as he scanned over the contents as the sunlight reflected directly onto it. you were just about to open your mouth when sakusa raised his hand slightly, signaling you to be quiet as he gestured towards a waitress.

“a-are you ready to order sir?” her eyes jumped between both you and your boyfriend as she had noticed how he’d practically tried to shut you up. it took everything in her to resist the urge to shiver with the tension clouding the air. “i’ll have a bowl of umeboshi, and you?” he placed the menu to the side awaiting your answer. “just water.” you muttered and he squinted once again, attempting to decipher whether your shift in attitude was because you had generally calmed down or because there was a third person present.

“alrighty then! i’ll bring your order over once it’s ready.” it was obvious the waitress couldn’t wait to rush off elsewhere but not without giving you a sympathetic look first which you returned with a smile. “you’ll be hungry later on, order something more.” he turned to you once she had left with a deadpan expression as usual. “why do you care? everything i do seems to bother you anyways.” you clenched your jaw thinking about what he had said earlier on. obedience? you scoffed at the thought of it.

“i never said that.” the nonchalance in his voice just seemed to rile you up more causing you to raise your voice once again. “kiyoomi are you be-“ he cut you off raising his hand just as before, and you swear you couldn’t take it anymore, you had a burning rage to slap him square in the face right then and there. “listen to me sakusa.” you rose to your feet quickly, hands banging against the table and the chair making a clattering sound behind you as it slid backwards. “i’m not a fucking dog, and you will not cut me off again. show me the same respect i show you.” admittedly , you had caught him by surprise by your reaction and for the first time today his facial expression changed. even though you couldn’t visibly see it under his mask, you were very aware of the way his nose scrunched at your words.

“sakusa?” he was obviously not pleased with the use of his surname, but more so with the vast attention you were attracting over to the two of you. you looked around at the various pairs of eyes that had wandered over to you during your outburst, your breath hitched in your throat as you apologised with mutters sitting back down quietly. “was that necessary? this is what i mean, you’re just always so difficult.” he sighed back into his chair clearly uncomfortable now that so many people were hyper aware of both your presences.

“if i’m so difficult then what’s the point?” you looked up at him, your throat closing up as you struggled to swallow the lump in your throat. “what’s the point of what?” the male was finally rising to attention, giving you a couple more seconds to reconsider what you were about to ask. “of this.. of us.” you gestured to the both of you.

“if i’m such a handful, why are you with me?” you broke off eye contact, afraid that you would be able to tell what he was thinking just by the way his eyes darkened and if so you wouldn’t be able to lie to yourself anymore regardless of if he blurted out reassuring words of love and comfort that brought you crawling back each and every time.

the two of you weren’t always like this, when you first met you were in university and sakusa was a lot shyer than he was now. back then he struggled to talk to you since he absolutely loathed the feeling of being flustered and almost anything you did made him blush. you found him endearing, quite cute actually. eventually he had asked you on a date which turned to many more and then a solid relationship status. but here you were today, wondering how and when it had all gone wrong.

he contemplated your words for a while, why did he put up with you? he wasn’t actually sure of that answer himself. was it because he valued familiarity so much? it would probably be a pain for him to adjust to a life without you since you had been a part of his life for so long, hell the two of you even had a shared apartment. “i don’t know.” he finally murmured out, his words were muffled due to his mask but you heard him loud and clear.

even though you had asked for the truth you had no idea that it would hurt this much, it was as if he’d dented your heart and you’re sure with time it would only get worse until it completely stopped beating. “you don’t know, 4 years and you don’t know?” you breathed out, tears beginning to brim in your eyes, a sick realisation hitting you without warning. even though you loved sakusa, you couldn’t force him to love you back.

“i don’t know what you want me to tell you y/n.” he spoke as composed as usual, as if he wasn’t currently the reason that your lungs were at full capacity and that your stomach was tying itself in a horrible knot. “do you love me kiyoomi?” you asked, your voice was lower than a whisper now. one part of you wished that he wouldn’t have heard your question so he wouldn’t have answered, but another part of you yearned for the truth.

“i don’t know.” this time something shifted about his demeanour, it wasn’t completely obvious and if you didn’t know sakusa as well as you did then you probably wouldn’t have picked up on it, but the slight wrinkle on his forehead as he forced himself to look you in the eye showed that this was hurting him too. maybe he didn’t even realise that he’d fallen out of love with you, maybe he was coming to the same hard hitting realisation.

you swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing yourself to look up at him even though tears were hanging off the edge of your face. ‘what now?’ you thought to yourself. your life had all come crashing down within the span of 10 minutes and every second that passed it felt like the burden was only getting heavier and heavier. all you knew is that you had to get out of sakusa’s presence, someone who used to be the epitome of comfort had now become too suffocating to even look at.

“where are you going?” the male before you sat straight, he was now at full attention and he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do. he didn’t necessarily want the two of you to end things, but he was never one to indulge in his own selfish desires, if you wanted to leave he wouldn’t stop you. there was a time he probably would have, he would have gotten on his knees to beg and plead for you to stay.

“y/n answer my question.” he reached out to you, now visibly worried about your lack of response, at this point he expected shouting and screaming, maybe even some kicking. anything. but instead he was met with a blank stare and silence.

you retracted your arm turning to face him for the last time. “i don’t know.”

[comfortwriting]

Unbreak My Heart - F.W

Fred Weasley X Reader Part 2 of ‘Call Out My Name’, inspired by the song ‘Unbreak My Heart’ by Toni Braxton.

Part 1 , Part 3

About: Fred realises he has everything wrong. His heart aching for the reader after pushing her aside for someone else, he searches for her to apologise for what he’s done and to admit his true feelings for her.

Theme: Heartache, sadness, moving on, relationships, rumours.

Warnings: mentions of raw emotions, *incredibly light* smut, depression, body image issues and swearing.

Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Come back and bring back my smile Come and take these tears away I need your arms to hold me now The nights are so unkind Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

The first thirteen months without Fred were the worst. You couldn’t face visiting Weasleys Wizard Wheezes no matter how many times George asked in his letters which you ignored. You couldn’t go into Diagon Alley without hearing news about The Weasleys - more importantly, the news about Fred and his darling; they were now engaged.

You kept to your bedroom, crying to sleep every night, looking through all the pictures you had taken of and with Fred over the years that you were with him. Letters you had written to him laid scrunched up all over your floor like an author going mad over a sticky, confusing, part of the story - but that was exactly what this was. 

Everywhere you went as you entered Diagon Alley, you were forced to listen to the news over and over again that the shop was a success. You wanted to congratulate George, but after ignoring him for so long you couldn’t bring yourself to pick up a pen to reach out to him.

Too afraid to let anyone in after the damage Fred inflicted on you, you didn’t bother meeting anyone new.

Plenty of people offered and even your sister tried to match you up with a friend of hers from work, but you declined and allowed Fred’s damage to take over you.

You only left the house for work which was torture enough as you worked with Percy at the Ministry. You ate one meal a day which was an apple on your lunch break. You didn’t dream of moving out despite your parents encouragement and you simply just collapsed in on yourself whilst your family constantly complained about Fred, swearing that you chose the wrong twin.

Although you hated Fred - or at least convinced yourself that you did - you still thought about him every single day, and at bedtime you would envision yourself back on his sofa in his arms underneath that scratchy patchwork blanket you shared many memories under. 

Laying awake staring at the ceiling, you took a deep breath. It had been over a year. You couldn’t go on like this. You needed to claim your life back, one step at a time. Sitting up in your bed, you grabbed the last of your parchment and leaned it against an old book. Dipping your feather quill into your ink pot that rested beside your bed next to the framed picture of you and Fred, you wrote to George.

You began apologising for not replying and for not visiting the shop, explaining why, and asked how everything was going - you missed your friend and it became suffocating to ignore him reaching out.

Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart

It had been another five months since you wrote your letter to George and you were still waiting for a reply. You told yourself that perhaps he got too busy with the shop or he just didn’t want to mend things after you ignored him for so long. Either way, you didn’t ponder on it, sprayed yourself with some perfume, and got ready to leave for your third date this week.

George wasn’t ignoring you on purpose. He truly was too busy with not just everything at the shop, but also helping Fred plan out this so-called wedding and engagement party that came out of nowhere. He planned to write back but time got the better of him, he knew you wouldn’t take it personally.

“Oh look at you!” your sister grinned, “Same guy?” she asked enthusiastically. 

“No,” you shook your head and grabbed your coat, putting it on, “I don’t see the same guy twice if the spark isn’t there.”

Your sister smiled to herself and told you to have a good time. You enjoyed yourself temporarily until you remembered Fred Weasley and what he did. He was the reason why you decided against seeing the same person twice. If there was no chemistry during intimacy you moved on. Speed dating was the perfect temporary aid you needed at the moment.  

And just like Fred and his fiancé, word got out about you and how desirable you were. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, you started looking after yourself and forced yourself into the limelight. Even if it didn’t result in finding your true love, you still wanted to have fun along the way.

Your parents went to The Leaky Cauldron, and just as they were leaving, they bumped into Molly and Arthur Weasley. Your parents flinched at first sight, but swallowed the anger they had towards their son Fred.

“Oh Mr and Mrs Y/LN! what a lovely surprise to see you!” Molly chirped up. George turned his head and stood up to greet your parents. Unlike Fred, they loved George.

“And you.” Your father replied, his voice monotone.

“We haven’t seen your daughter for ages. We missed her last summer, please ask her to come and see us. George misses her and it’s our Freddie's engagement party tonight!” Molly babbled on, pointing to George when she mentioned him and Fred.

Molly and Arthur loved you coming over to the burrow. They loved you even more seeing how happy you made their son. In their eyes you brought out the best in him. On the other hand, they weren’t keen on the girl Fred decided to marry, she was inconsiderate, selfish and didn’t know what hard work was - she was handed everything she ever wanted, the exact opposite to you.

Your fathers face flushed with frustration. Didn’t they know why you never came around anymore? Were they not aware that Fred was the reason she screamed and cried every night for over a year?

Your mother hesitated but decided against holding back. She liked the Weasley family, but she couldn’t allow Fred to get away with what he had done. 

“Maybe you should ask your darling boy, Fred. Or maybe George will tell you, he’s the decent one of the two.” 

Your mother said no more and stormed out of the packed pub, your father trailing behind nodding a goodbye to George. Molly and Arthur stood there speechless and looked over at George, demanding that he tells them what happened as soon as they arrive home when everyone has gone to bed.

Fred felt strange throughout the whole party. He didn’t feel happy like he thought he would - he hadn’t been feeling happy for the past five months. Something in his life just didn’t feel right and he couldn’t put his finger on what was wrong -waking up next to his girlfriend made him feel sick and he realised how stupid he was thinking that getting engaged would make everything better.

Molly, Arthur and George sat at the dining table when everyone else was in bed. “George you better tell me what happened, now!” Molly hissed in a low whisper.

George spilled absolutely everything, from beginning to end. As much as he loved his twin, he didn’t shy away from any details even if they showed Fred for exactly who he was, and the awful things he did. Molly and Arthur were outraged at their child's behaviour. Molly had to restrain herself at the table whilst she sobbed into her hands.

Far away, you panted heavily as you came down from your high with your date. Unmounting him, you laid beside him in his bed. He took off his condom and breathlessly offered taking a shower with him. You accepted his offer knowing that you could go home straight after, you wouldn’t need to stress about hurrying in the morning to get to work on time. 

Take back that sad word goodbye Bring back the joy to my life Don't leave me here with these tears Come and kiss this pain away I can't forget the day you left Time is so unkind And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Work at the ministry became more tolerable over the next six months. Percy smiled at you more often and you couldn’t understand why. You didn’t look into it and simply smiled back. You flourished even more within the same time - you had got into a relationship with the one night stand you shared a shower with. The curly haired bookshop assistant grew on you and you didn’t mind, he often made you laugh so hard you burst into tears.

Whilst you were finding yourself, running with the wind, Fred had fallen apart completely. He overheard George spilling his guts, and finally realised why everything felt so wrong, why he wasn’t happy. You were the missing piece. His guilt and mistakes were eating him alive. He broke off the engagement - to his parents delight - and vowed on finding you and making everything right. George felt relieved that he had his own room because Fred’s cries were enough to make anyone feel ill.

Fred slept with the Irish scarf he bought you from the world cup, and he kept the patchwork blanket on his bedroom, refusing to bring it back downstairs.

Memories flashed back to him, the two of you in the tent, “Oh Fred are you sure?” you asked him as he put the scarf around your neck.

He chuckled and kissed your head, “Anything for you, my love!”

Then memories from the sofa flooded in, hurting him even more. 

“I’m so in love with you,” you moaned, cupping his face while he made love to you. 

He shook his head and came to his senses, angry that he put such a lovely girl in the firing line.

“Percy, Y/N works with you doesn’t she? Can you tell her I need to see her.” He later begged.

Percy refused, “That would be an incredibly inappropriate thing to do in the work place!” 

Fred wrote you letters, but you never got them. The family refused to lend him their owl and Fred couldn’t understand muggle post. Getting desperate, he would stay in Diagon Alley trying to see where you were lurking after work, asking strangers if they had seen you, showing them the only picture he had of you.

“It’s going to be perfect here!” Your mum smiled looking around your large half unpacked apartment, “When will he be moving in?” She winked.

You finally saved up enough money to move out and you were planning on asking your boyfriend to move in if things continued to run smoothly. You had got your furniture, all you needed were the items left in the big green box from your bedroom. “I’ll collect them next week.” 

Feeling brave with your partner, arms linked, the two of you visited George’s shop. He had sent you a letter letting you know when Fred wasn’t working and you felt confident that you wouldn’t bump into him.

“I’m so proud of you!” You cheered for George, giving him a hug.

After paying for your bits and bobs you previously saw in the design stages, you walked out of the shop and bumped into someone. Looking up to apologise, you realised it was Fred. He stared at you - both of you mirroring each other looking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

You shook yourself out of the immediate shock Fred was still stuck in. 

“Sorry,” you muttered, walking away, your boyfriend asking what his problem was.

Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart

Another week went by and Fred was going stir crazy. Customers in his shop who knew you both were whispering about how happy you were now. Him and George argued when he discovered the letter between you two.

Fred rifled through the stacks of letters and found your parents address where you no longer lived. He got on his broom, not caring if muggles saw him, and landed on the roof. He crawled down to your window and gave it a tap with his wand with a soft “Alohomora”.

Expecting to find you asleep, he discovered only disappointment that your room laid bare and empty. The bedside table had nothing but a folded photo lying face down on it, the bin on the floor full of parchment balls.

He unfolded the photo and put a hand over his mouth, seeing you and him moving during your morning walks. He bent down and grabbed a ball from the bin, unravelling the parchment. He cried reading the letters you had written him but never sent. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the green box on your bed and he went through it, more tears spilling down his face.

“I’ll just grab my box!” He heard you yell, walking upstairs. 

Without giving him time to hide, you opened the door, revealing him standing in front of you. You held back a scream of shock and took a deep breath shaking your head, “Fred please - you can’t be here.” 

Fred shook his head and cried, “I’m so sorry, for everything,” he made his way closer to you, “I got everything wrong, her, everything.”

Not wanting your parents to see him, you closed your bedroom door and locked it, your heart pounding. Tears fell from your eyes, the walls you put up against him crashing down, your hate for him melting away and your love for him surging inside.

“Why are you here?” you questioned him through your cries.

Fred walked over to you slowly not wanting to scare you off. This was the closest you had been to him since you bumped into him at the shop. The young man you fell in love with wrapped his arms around you, tangling his hands in your hair. You stayed still with your hands by your side.

“I’m in love with you.” Fred choked out between sobs. He pulled away and gently put your hands in his, your tear filled eyes getting lost in his.

“Fred- I can’t!” you shook your head crying, feeling weak at the words he said and the ones you replied with. 

“Please,” Fred begged getting onto his knees, staring up at you, “please let me make things right.”

Don't leave me in all this pain Don't leave me out in the rain Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

“I think you look stunning,” Fred complimented you, soot spread out all over your nose.

You chuckled and sneaked a kiss on his lips, only to hear a loud thud on the desk in front of you.

“One weeks’ detention for the two of you,” Professor Snape snarled, “and fifty points will be deducted from your house.”

Un-break my heart Say you'll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many, many nights Oh, un-break my

“What do you mean you’re taking her instead of me!” you freaked out, throwing your earrings at the mirror. 

“It’s just a bloody Yule Ball. Y/N. It doesn’t mean anything.” Fred argued.

“Well it does to me!” you argued back, “I’m guessing I was just your back up plan if she said no.” 

Un-break my heart, oh baby Come back and say you love me Un-break my heart, sweet darlin' Without you I just can't go on

Fred held you in his arms, the two of you watching the muggle horror movie in amazement. You nuzzled your head into his neck, planting kisses on it softly. Fred let out a soft shaky moan, his hand making its way up your thigh. “We’ll need to be quiet,” he whispered, pulling your underwear off.

Can't go on (Say that you love me, say that you love me) (Tell me you love me, un-break my) (Say that you love me, say that you love me) (Tell me you love me, un-break my)

You stared at Fred, still trying to process what he said. You pursed your lips and stayed quiet getting lost in your thoughts. Fred noticed you were in shock and lost for words. He pulled out the scarf from his coat pocket and walked over to you, wrapping it around you.

You stared up at him, getting lost in those gorgeous eyes that you missed so much. You looked down at his lips and kissed him impulsively.

He kissed back.

[blouisparadise]

Here is a list of amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of January. Between the third month of the Bottom Louis Fic Fest and all the other fics that authors posted throughout the month, it’s clear that this was a great way to start off the year of bottom Louis fics!  Happy reading!

1) Leave It All Here In This Bed | Explicit | 1071 words

One of Louis’s many sleepless nights.

2) Games Are Only Fun If You Win | Explicit | 1554 words

Louis and Harry have a bet. If Louis wins that means he's off laundry duty. If he loses well.

Let's just say Harry won't be complaining.

3) If It Makes You Feel Alive | Explicit | 1691 words

Louis is horny one night on the tour bus so he and Harry fuck while trying not to get caught by the others.

4) Beg Me Silently | Explicit | 2140 words

“So, your boyfriend…is he planning a magic night for you at home?”

Louis snorts. “He’s not, actually. He’s pretty hardworking, you see, so he comes home late.”

“Such a shame.” Harry walks towards Louis, so close that they’re sharing the same space. “You’re so beautiful, Louis. If you were mine, I wouldn’t make you wait for me.”

5) Birthday Wishes | Explicit | 2895 words

Note: This is part 3 of this series.

The one where Harry takes Louis to dinner for his birthday, and gifts him with a vibrating butt plug he wears to the restaurant. Fluffy birthday sex follows.

6) New Year, New Beginnings | Explicit | 3577 words

Note: This is part 4 of this series.

The one where Louis and Harry unexpectedly end up at the same New Year's party. Louis makes Harry jealous, and Harry shows him just how bad of an idea that is.

7) Heaven In These Sheets | Explicit | 3557 words

Bunny Hybrid Louis has it out for his boyfriend’s phone.

8) Pits Of Love | Explicit | 3934 words

Harry smells Louis' sweat for the first time after they've moved in together. His alpha goes a bit wild.

9) First Blow Hits You Cold | Explicit | 3986 words

Louis wears a shirt with a big ass H on it for his livestream, and Harry really, really likes it.

10) Close Your Eyes And Surrender To Me | Explicit | 4209 words

Note: This is the sequel to this fic.

Harry hummed and pressed his lips to Louis’ forehead. “I am very stressed, but I also know you’re stressed and tired too.” He glanced to Louis’ face seeing the confirming nod. “But, if you’re sure you’re up for it.” Harry smirked, waiting for Louis to say it was okay before he laid the boy down on the bed and hovered over him. “I really love this color on you. You look so pretty. Always do.” He spoke quietly, rubbing his hands over Louis’ soft thighs and moving them to his tummy. He then moved his hands up to Louis’ hair. It had been a while since Louis’ last haircut and it was now long enough that he could tie it up in little ponytails and even little braids. Louis currently had two hair clips in his hair. One was gold with little stars on it and the other gold with a moon. “I love your hair princess. Do you feel pretty?” He asked.

11) P Is For | Explicit | 4349 words

Note: The pairing for this fic is Louis/Pedro Pascal.

Louis and Pedro, winter in New York, a coffee machine, and bilingualism.

12) Pull Out Your Heart | Explicit | 5028 words

He wants to apologise, the five letters sit on the tip of his tongue but he does not. It means nothing to either of them.

13) Loving You's the Antidote | Explicit | 5070 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 302: Alpha Harry & Omega Louis are divorced but still spend each other’s heat/rut together because they only really trust each other but things get complicated when Louis (or Harry, author’s choice) spend it with someone else. Cue angst with a happy ending.

14) Sweet Talk With A Hint Of Sin | Explicit | 5095 words

“What the hell are you wearing?” Harry had the nerve to ask, and Louis bristled slightly.

“Well, what the bloody fuck does it look like?” Louis snapped, breaking his seductive demeanor momentarily because he was wearing this ridiculous get-up for Harry. He had thought that this would go over well.

And now that the moment was here, it was going anything but.

Harry’s brain seemingly malfunctioned, completely unbothered by the fact that he was now standing in an actual pool of red wine, or that there might even be broken glass directly next to his feet. He was focused solely on his boy splayed out on their bed. “Are those ears?”

“Yes,” Louis mumbled, reaching up to finger the burnt orange fur of the fox ears. “And a tail,” he said, shifting to lay on his stomach so that his perky ass was on display, showing the way his lube slicked hole had been prepped and was now hugging the impressively sized plug attached to the fox tail.

15) New York's Beauty | Mature | 5274 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 104: AU where Harry is an alpha wolf and Louis is a hybrid kitten. They were roommates. While they were arguing about something stupid, Harry wanted to bend Louis over the kitchen table and knot him right there. He slowly accepted his feelings and extreme desire for Louis, so he started to tease the hybrid until he would beg Harry to fuck him. They fall in love.

Louis needs to feel comfortable with the camera so harry fucks him until he is blushing and calm and gentle.

16) I Went Astray To Make It Okay And He Made It Easy | Not Rated | 5537 words

Note: This is a sequel to #17 on this list.

Harry makes sure to put on his blue truckers hat that has 'if you ain't a fisherman, you ain't shit' printed on it to hold back his hair out of his eyes. He remembers when he came home after buying it and Louis went on for days about much he looked like such a Dad. He made sure to fuck him hard that night and show him that he's a fucking DILF not just a Dad. 

17) You Make My Heart Beat Like The Rain | Explicit | 6611 words

Note: This is the prequel to #16 on this list.

"You're stunning, eh?" Harry whispers, his Canadian accent thick with lust. It usually slips out when he gets horny because he knows it turns Louis on. Harry presses his lips into the curve of his neck. His hot breath makes Louis shiver. He opens his eyes and sees Harry's bigger, tattooed arms wrapped around him, completely engulfing his smaller frame—and, fuck, maybe he is up for it.

Why does his boyfriend have to be such a fucking DILF? He blames it on a twitter thread he read a few weeks ago.

18) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Explicit | 6837 words

Harry and Louis are going through a divorce after being together for 10 years, so Louis comes over to collect his things, and, well…what’s a little goodbye sex, just one last time?

19) A Place To Call Home | Mature | 8113 words

The thing is, he’s pretty sure he’s found home in a person in his life, someone who’s been essential in everything he’s done since he was seven years old. Through every broken bone, through every breakup, through every failure; through every triumph, personal and professional, and every goal he has scored in his time in Man U, there’s been someone there for it all.

That’s his best mate. Harry. A twenty-two year old with the kindest heart known to man, a slow drawl that is entirely too endearing, with the dreams to open up his own flower shop. A quiet and earnest boy with those he doesn’t know, and open and honest and absolutely lovely with those he loves.

It all hits him, really, the night of their final game of the Premier League. Again, timing is not his forté. They’re gearing up, ready to hit the field for the second half against Liverpool that determines their ranking in the League, when his brain decides to come online (after seventeen years, apparently), and conveniently supply him with the revelation that oh yeah, you’re kind of in love with your best friend.

20) To Love Without Reason | Explicit | 8854 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Come on in, soldier,” Louis pats Harry’s chest and walks away, leaving Harry to follow behind.

Harry stands in the living room, looking around at Louis’ dwelling. Family pictures placed high on a shelf, certificates of Louis’ practice, and other trinkets that make Harry entirely too nostalgic.

“I have to warn you,” Louis says as he puts the kettle on, the water droplets from his hair trickling down the golden skin of his back. “The door jams if you lock it so you'll have to leave it ajar.”

Harry acknowledges with a soft hum, too entranced by Louis’ glistening skin to form a coherent reply.

21) It's A Game We Play In The Sheets | Explicit | 9426 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“Louis is… He’s a boy I’ve been talking to.” He bit his lip, grin evident. “After I watched one of his videos during a Harry Reacts a few weeks ago I messaged him and…”

His sentence was cut short by the sound of a timid little “Hi” being whispered into his ears.

Harry closed his eyes for a second, pausing to take in the online presence of the real-life fairy, before he opened them and smiled. “Hey Lou. Ready to play with me?”

22) One Track Mind | Explicit | 9911 words

“You have a lot of friends, huh?”

Harry nods again. “A few.” The muscles of his bicep flex under Louis’ touch, and the alpha looks a bit drunk from the feeling, his eyes blinking slower and lips quirking at the corners. He’s leaning in, his alpha scent surrounding Louis from all sides.

“Mm,” Louis hums, squeezing his fingers tight, just to hear the sharp way Harry inhales. Then, when Harry is least expecting it, Louis returns the earlier sentiment—leaning up on his tiptoes and pressing his weight into Harry for balance, drawing his lips up close to Harry’s ear, and whispering, “Why don’t you go tell them goodnight.”

23) See You When I Get Home | Explicit | 10308 words

"What are you thinking about?" He repeats Louis' question from earlier.

"You." Louis' reply comes out in a moan. It shocks Harry, and his brain scrambles for the right thing to do, the right thing to say. He doesn't even know how to feel, or if he even heard Louis correctly.

"Me?"

24) Floating | Explicit | 10435 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Louis has control over water in every form but he doesn't know what to do with it. Harry is here to guide him.

25) I'm At Your Mercy Now (And I'm Ready To Begin) | Teen & Up | 10552 words

Where Louis' soulmark was leaked, Harry keeps his private. They're both famous popstars. Louis is waiting for his soulmate, Harry has a feeling it's him but Louis is completely oblivious.

26) You And I 'Till The Day We Die | Explicit | 10807 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 124: A fic inspired by Groupie Love by Lana Del Rey, where Harry is a Rockstar and Louis is his cute little boyfriend who tries to hide himself in the middle of the crowd. (Preferably set in the 80s)

27) Moonlit Sky Over Gentle Waters | Explicit | 11377 words

Harry left his hometown to sail the seven seas and returns seven years later, yearning for something — or rather, someone — that he isn't sure he can have.

28) Late Night Devil Put Your Hands On Me (And Never, Never, Ever Let Go) | Explicit | 11524 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Harry is a demon that feeds off of people’s nightmares. He finds his next meal in Louis’ dreams where he changes and molds them to become scary nightmares. Soon harry learns Louis is a lucid dreamer- he can act on his own in his dreams. They interact in the real world and have sex in the dream world. when the demon catches feelings for louis, he wants to live.

29) If You're Feeling Lonely | Explicit | 12807 words

The guest list is on the desk. Louis runs through it and stops a third of the way down, a familiar name catching his attention.

Harry Styles.

All he needs to do is confirm whether Harry Styles is the same Alpha whose scent left such a memorable impression on his body.

30) Want You To Play With Me | Explicit | 14335 words

"I'm quite not finished with you yet." Harry whispered right on the shell of his ears and squeezed the girth of his cock, making Louis shudder a sloppy puff of air as the tickling sensation ran through his spine, Harry was intoxicating. "Let me play with you a little more, Lou. I promise I'll give you what you want. Be my good boy, hm?" He slowly annunciated every word and licked a warm line on the nape of Louis' neck — Louis curled in his arms at that. Submitting himself a little bit more.

"Always wanna be your good boy." Louis whispered back and enveloped Harry's hand in his.

31) No Good Unless It's Real | Explicit | 17021 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a very busy farmer who’s just trying to make it to his next nap and Harry’s the new hot vet that’s determined to infiltrate every area of his life.

32) Tennis Court | Explicit | 18285 words

Louis and Harry are co-workers and Louis is sure Harry hates him because he always refuses to help him with his heats.

33) Joker Is Wild | Explicit | 18444 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 390: A reality show AU where Louis, Harry, Liam, Zayn and Niall are selected to stay at confined in a luxury mansion for 1 month, where they are required to have explicit, graphic sex at all times, like a porn Big Brother kind of show. Every week there are several different sexual tasks and trials that they must overcome together, which all ends in orgasms for all of them. When the boys all discover Louis is strictly a bottom, and a slutty one at that, they all can’t wait to get their hands on him. Bonus if other hot celebs are there too, like Shawn Mendes, for example. Includes lots of hard gay sex, rimming, blowjobs, gang bangs, ass worshipping (Louis ass, of course) and double penetration.

34) Baby, Let Me Love You Goodbye | Not Rated | 20249 words

Louis almost calls Harry daddy. Cue denial, feelings, and way too much dirty talk.

35) Give So Much (Not Enough) | Mature | 24610 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

“For my little lion,” Louis slid the smoothie bowl in front of Oscar, letting him dig in with his little hands. “And for daddy.”

He didn’t process the bowl in front of him, the push across the table causing a raspberry to roll off and fall on his lap, because Louis calling himself mummy may make him feel all sorts of mushy emotions, but Louis addressing Harry as daddy was suddenly having a very different effect on him. Since when did Louis saying daddy out loud render him speechless?

“Daddy’s still sleepy, but we’re up bright and early right Ossie?” Louis’ cooing shook him out of his daze. The man coughed, picking the raspberry off his lap and swallowing it with unintentional, and very unnecessary, eye contact with Louis. “Well, is it better than your protein smoothies and why?”

Harry chuckled, spooning another heap of the strawberry banana goodness into his mouth, “Way better sweetheart.”

A friends to lovers au with tons of mama Louis and domesticity.

36) Short And Sweet | Explicit | 29658 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a shy university student in a world scarce of male omegas. He's always dreamt of having an alpha despite his sheltered upbringing, fantasizing about being loved and cared for. He's immediately smitten by the mysterious alpha with curly hair, broad shoulders, and the addictive coffee scent.

37) Under Thorn And Bramble | Explicit | 31931 words

Note: The pairing of this fic is Louis/OMC. This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 445: A historical AU where Louis is working as a servant on a farm. The family that owns the farm is exceedingly cruel to him and he is often exhausted and in pain from his work. A mysterious stranger boards at the farm and is very intrigued by Louis, but Louis doubts his interest in genuine. Any pairing fine.

38) Pink In The Night | Explicit | 32324 words

His finger was tapping on Louis’ chat before Harry could even think about it, eyes reading over the last text he’d sent Louis. I miss you. Do you miss me?

Harry had felt so pathetic that December night, alone in the dark room of the Japanese apartment he’d been staying at, the strong smell of alcohol clinging to his clothes.

Louis hadn’t replied, but Harry wasn’t surprised; he had texted Louis a few times before while he’d been away, but there had never been a response.

It pained him to admit that this was their new normal.

39) Coeur De Pirate | Explicit | 34207 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

He tilts his chin up as the Captain strides across the deck, his footfalls falling loudly against the planks. The crew watches them from afar.

Stepping into his space, the Captain wraps an arm around Louis’ waist and pulls him in. He lowers his head to breathe his words against Louis’ cheeks. “I won,” he whispers, “I’ve come to claim my prize.”

40) If The Sun Don't Shine | Explicit | 36330 words

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

41) The Pirate And The Piper | Explicit | 38396 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

The one where Harry is Hook, Louis is Pan, and nothing is what it seems.

42) Begged And Borrowed Time | Mature | 40198 words

Prompt 60: Time travel AU where Louis somehow gets thrown back in time and ends up in the dark ages, during the reign of the Styles family.

43) I Ain’t Gonna Fence You In | Mature | 40645 words

Louis Tomlinson is a 18 year old city boy who is forced to spend his summer before his senior year at his aunts farm. There, he meets Harry, a 19 year old country boy his aunt hired to help around the farm.

Maybe the farm isn't the worst place to fall in love?

44) Don't Want No Other Shade Of Blue | Explicit | 43285 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Prompt 339: it was foretold that Alpha Prince Harry would be mated to a beautiful male omega with eyes that could rival the stone amethyst, but Omega Prince Louis refuses to believe it.

45) No Easy Choice, But You’re Mine | Explicit | 44963 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis is an omega hitman with one last job that goes a little sideways. Harry is the alpha bartender that looks a little too closely and cares a little too much.

46) Sedative Duty | Explicit | 46588 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Pop-star of the moment Louis Tomlinson is on his third-world tour. He decides to hire renowned professional dominant Harry Styles to unwind while on the road. In an effort not to raise suspicion by the crew, fans, and press, Harry pretends to be his bodyguard. He ends up being far more than that.

47) Just Always Be Waiting for Me | Explicit | 46837words

Note: Please be sure to check tags for any trigger warnings.

Harry Styles is a librarian at a private school who is not very devoted to his job but is very devoted to Louis Tomlinson, the resident English teacher, and has been ever since they met six years ago beneath a lonely streetlight.

Louis Tomlinson is a self confessed bookworm whose passion for Peter Pan, the literary classics and Harry Styles' happiness knows no bounds. He's self sacrificing, somewhat self loathing and haunted by a trauma he can't talk about.

Mutual pining abounds in this fic where a Peter Pan quote is never just a Peter Pan quote, caretaking is a love language and a platonic nude is never actually platonic. Louis has a kiss that belongs to Harry but he also has a painful past that might end up hurting them both.

48) Since The Future | Explicit | 48947 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

"It's done."

The words were barely above a whisper when they left Harry's mouth, but they hit Louis with the force of a freight train. It was done. Holy fuck. They had created a time machine. And tomorrow, they were travelling to the future.

49) Dirty Laundry Looks Good On You | Explicit | 50581 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

When Louis Tomlinson finds his clothes lying in a sad soapy mess on top of the washing machine in which they are supposed to be, he acts upon his anger and retaliates. What he doesn’t expect is having to deal with a six-feet tall, curly-haired and dimpled man in return, who seems to arouse confusing feelings within him and to make his life take an unexpected turn for the better (or worse?).

50) Hamartia | Explicit | 66970 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Six years is a long time for Louis to mend his heart back and erase every lingering, stubborn memory of his ex-lover, Harry Styles. But when news of the war being over spreads across the world like wildfire, and he stumbles upon the alpha he vowed himself to never see ever again, he realises that not even a lifetime will be enough for him to pick up the scattered, broken parts of his soul. He's far from expecting the alpha he loved to be struggling in the same way.

All the ointments in the world might never soothe the pain out, but it doesn't take long for them both to come to the conclusion that, maybe, the only medicine to their heartbreaks are what caused them in the first place.

51) Feeling Borrowed, Always Blue | Explicit | 68214 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

Louis has been dreaming of his wedding since he was young - he just never expected it to happen like this. words

52) Mind Over Matter (You Under Me) | Explicit | 73825 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest! Check out the full collection here.

It’s dark outside when Harry finishes practice for the day.

53) Rogue | Not Rated | 94992 words

Louis is a rogue Omega who's suffered through rejection and abuse for the biggest part of his life. He stumbles onto the Styles pack, quite possibly the kindness one he's ever met.

54) Chandeliers And Fake Smiles | Mature | 145010 words

On the brink of winning their first Grammy; up-and-coming rock band One Direction find themselves in the midst of the biggest scandal of their career - right before tickets for their world tour go on sale. in order to save their reputation, Louis Tomlinson must find it in his heart to forgive pop singer and heartthrob Harry Styles after his first impression rubbed him entirely the wrong way. after all, they cannot sell a relationship if it looks like they hate each other.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven.

Wordcount: 3k

Summary: 

Akaashi Keiji catches glimpses of another life in his dreams. He dreams of fields of endless gold, of constellation of stars that light up the night sky. He hears the echo of birdsong in her laughter, her song to the gods in the wind.

(Loosely inspired by Kimi No Nawa)

Masterlist link here 

AO3 link here

Author’s note: This fic is a little different from my usual work, so I’m a little nervous about publishing it. If you do like it, would love if you leave a comment / reblog / anything! 

If you’d like to be included in the taglist, do drop me a msg/ask! 

The first time it happens, Akaashi is in his third year of university. 

The upside of staying in Tokyo for university (his mother cried when he got into Waseda, her alma mater) is that he sees his family almost every weekend for cosy family dinners. The downside of staying in Tokyo for university is that he really has no excuse when his parents insist on carrying on Hatsumode, the first prayer of the new year, at the crack of dawn at the shrine close to their home. It’s not that he minds the tradition per se, but he did just spend all night rushing his projects just so he could adhere to the unspoken rule that no work should be done during the New Year holidays and spend some time flying kites with his little cousins. 

Still, there is something magical about starting the New Year watching dawn break and the world awaken from its slumber just as he reaches the summit of all twenty six steps to the top of the shrine, shrouded in the bare branches of the wisteria trees. He tosses coins into the box, drops into a deep bow twice, chin at waist level, clapping twice before bowing a final time. His mother buys far too many omamori, presses at least half of them into his unwilling hands when the omikuji he draws has a great curse scribbled on it. He’s not superstitious, so it doesn’t bother him, but he knows his mother is, so he does accept the omamori with some grace, though he draws the line at the love charm she tries to sneak into the pile. 

‘Mum, I’m too busy at school for a partner’, he tells her firmly. ‘Why don’t you pass it to Yuji-kun, he’s already started work, but hasn’t found a girlfriend from what Oba-chan tells me’. His elder cousin shoots him a particularly malevolent glare that he meets with a placid smile as his mother diverts her attention to him instead.

The faintest shiver runs up his fingers when he deposits the old charm he found in the corner of his closet, grey and faded with time, in the koshinsatsu osamedokoro, the omamori drop off open only during the first day of the New Year. The shiver turns into a ripple of cool water racing up his wrists and roars into an tsunami of dread when the attendant tells him all deposited charms will be burnt in the ritual fire in a fortnight’s time, but he writes it off as a symptom of his lack of sleep and starts to turn away. 

There’s a sudden echo of a nightmare of raging flames that prompts him to swivel around to snatch the omamori and stuff it back in his pocket, muttering apologies to the shocked attendant. Later, when he has time to process his impulse, he’d find it strange. In the meantime however, the festivities wait for no one, so he distracts himself by eating far too much dango and mochi in between rounds of tossing kites up to catch the wind. His uncles slip him full cups of sake and sweetened rice wine to his mother’s disapproval, which in hindsight he should have heeded, as he stumbles to bed that night, head heavy with alcohol. 

That night he dreams of a girl with curly hair, lying in a field of endless gold - daffodils to mark the dawn of spring. 

‘Also known as narcissus’, he hears himself say, hears himself narrate the myth of a man so entranced by his own reflection in the water that he lost his will when he realizes he cannot have his object of desire. A girlish voice lilts teasingly – ‘the flowers are too pretty to be ruined by your obsession of stories written by grumpy old men’. He wakes up with the ghost of laughter on his lips, but there’s a lingering sense of loss budding in barren soil of his heart. 

It does prompt him to pop by the florist near his parents’ house to order a bouquet of daffodils for his mom to be delivered on the first day of spring. He’s accustomed to the old couple running the shop, so he pauses just for a second when he walks into the store to find a new girl at the counter. She must not be used to customers yet, dropping the bouquet she’s working on when she notices him. 

‘Hi’, she stammers, cheeks pink. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I’d like to make an advance order for daffodils please.’ 

‘For spring?’ she asks, and he nods, writing down his parents’ address when prompted. ‘That’s a good choice!’ 

She waves him off with a cheerful – ‘please come back again’, and he does not notice that there are stars in her eyes. 

His mother drags him back to the shrine on the third day of the holidays, and he obliges her, ever the dutiful only son, even though the frigid temperature makes his breath puff up into clouds and the tip of his nose turns numb. The old omamori is still snug in his jacket pocket, and as his fingers brush against it, he can feel the threads of the charm unravelling, the fabric almost fragile in its worn, threadbare state but he does not attempt to dispose of it again.  

‘What are you going to do once you’re done with your degree, Keiji?’ His mother asks, when they stop by an old teahouse for a cup of steaming genmaicha, the aroma of roasted rice tea warm against his cold nose. 

‘I intend to apply for a job at a publishing company after I graduate’, he tells her seriously, and she nods, encouraging him to continue. ‘I’m hoping it’s something to do with my major, preferably Japanese literature, better yet if it's poetry, but in this market, I’ll take what I can get’. 

His mother nods, smiling at him fondly. ‘I remember you used to be obsessed with Shakespeare and Greek myths when you were younger, all the way through high school, and your father and I thought that you’d end up majoring in that in university. You really surprised us when you chose to major in Japanese literature instead.’

‘I don’t know why, to be honest. Maybe I had a good Japanese literature tutor?’ He laughs, fiddling with his teacup. 

‘Mm I don’t think so though. I remember you complaining that Raku-sensei was so dull he caused everyone to fall asleep.’ He shrugs, and though she stares at him curiously, she does not pursue the line of conversation any further. 

That night he dreams of waking up in an old wooden house, shivering in a thick futon, the smoldering embers from the irori, mere inches from his face. It’s so very different from his childhood bedroom filled with modern appliances and walls of books neatly shelved in alphabetical order, but he doesn’t notice that in the dark. Instead, he reaches for his phone to check the time, bolting awake because that can’t be, he never misses his alarm, mentally calculating that he must leave the house in exactly fifteen minutes to make it in time for practice when a little boy bursts through the door. 

‘Nee-chan’, the little boy whines. ‘I’m hungry. Time for breakfast’. 

Did he just say Nee-chan? Scratch that - since when did he have a little brother? 

He scrambles out of bed, groping his way in the dark to the washroom. The cold water should wake him up, but when he looks up at the mirror above the sink, the face he’s staring at does not belong to him. No - it belongs to a dark eyed girl with curly hair - but it doesn’t make sense, shouldn’t make sense, because when he reaches a trembling finger to poke at the mirror, he is she or she is him - 

The ensuing panic and confusion makes him jerk out of his dream, but when he rushes to the washroom to check that he’s still himself, he is relieved to see that it’s still him - Akaashi Keiji, with dark circles around his eyes, staring back in disbelief. 

He chalks his strange dream up to the stress he carries around from trying to clear all his course work so he can audit additional classes over the next term. 

Except the dreams don’t stop, not even when he moves back to the university dorms. He keeps waking up drenched in cold sweat, clutching at his arms even though they’re clear of the scratches he sees in his dreams, red and raw and stretching all the way up his elbows. 

‘Be kinder to Hana-chan, Keiji-kun’, he hears the call of the same girl in his mind and he shudders, unsure whether the disembodied voice floating through his mind is a memory from his dream. ‘She’s going through an awfully tough time’.

‘It doesn’t give her the right to hurt you like that’, he can hear his faint disapproval. 

‘Never mind that, it’s not a big deal. What are we reading today – don’t tell me it’s anything like Hamlet. That was horrendously depressing.’ 

‘Midsummer’s Night Dream? It’s a romantic comedy at least.’

‘Only a nerd like you would read Shakespeare in high school – and it’s not even in Japanese!’

‘Hush – you don’t get to complain when I’m reading it out to you.’

‘What on earth is going on’, he mutters to himself. The copious amounts of frigid water he splashes onto his face is no antidote to this madness.

‘Sato-san, are you feeling alright?’ he asks his grimacing classmate in concern, lines of pain etched onto her face. 

‘I’m fine, Akaashi-kun’, she manages to spit out, clutching her stomach with white-knuckled hands. ‘It’ll pass in a bit, I hope’. 

‘Are you sure you’re fine? I could help you to the nurse’s office if that helps’. 

His classmate shakes her head, a blush staining her cheeks. ‘It’s just that time of the month. I apologise if that’s too much information to be polite’. 

Ah. But somehow even though he has no sisters, and his female classmates in high school were oddly reticent about their periods (strange, considering it is part and parcel of being a mammal for far more than a millenium) the steps to deal with this particular conundrum come to him so naturally it’s almost as if the answers were presented to him previously in a dream. 

‘Here’, he passes Sato-san painkillers, chocolate and a hot water bottle he’d managed to talk the university nurse into loaning him, and Sato practically whimpers in gratitude. 

‘You’re a lifesaver, Akaashi-kun’, she tells him and he nods, content that he’s solved the problem so efficiently. 

That night he wakes up in her body again. The room is dark, save for the sliver of white light between the blinds that allows him to discern the growing crimson stain between her legs. 

‘Don’t you know all women have to deal with this nonsense every month? But I’ll tell you a trick - painkillers, chocolate and a hot water bottle will make you feel as right as rain’, he hears her voice declare in his mind, and he startles awake to find himself back in his own bed, blessedly clear of any bloodstains. 

It must be a dream borne out of what happened today, he tells himself firmly and shrugs it off. The rest of his slumber is thankfully shorn of dreams. 

But then these dreams start to crash into his sleep like a series of never ending waves, and he’s a short hop, skip, jump away from falling off the cliff into a distracted madness, the rate his sleep keeps getting disrupted. He keeps waking up in her body, it makes him feel like a creep, wearing her skin like an ill-fitting glove, and he decided does not think about how strange it feels to have twin lumps of flesh in front of his chest (his mother raised him to be a gentleman, after all). 

The contents of these dreams are relatively cyclical. He wakes up at dawn, puts on her school uniform, makes breakfast for the little boy - Toya-chan over the primitive hearth before rushing to school through dirt paths lined with trees. His - or rather her classmates stare at her with a mix of condescension and apathy, and her hours in school are spent in a lonely silence, save when Hana-chan gets up in her face and screams absolute nonsense about staying the fuck away from her, which seems a little dramatic considering she’s the one doing the confronting, but it’s just a dream, so he keeps telling himself. It’s not like he can change anything about it. 

‘Does it bother you? That you’re alone?’ he asks her one day. 

‘Not really. I have you and Toya-chan, don’t I?’ she responds. 

‘I suppose’, he says, voice trailing off. 

He catches glimpses of sun drenched afternoons spent in fields of flowers, glances of dusky evenings spent in the forest basking in the light of the setting sun. He agonizes over stacks of homework, digs for mushrooms in the damp earth, climbs through wire fences to scavenge for eggs in neighbouring farms. 

‘Aren’t your parents worried about you and Toya-chan?’ he can hear himself question her one night. 

‘My mom is dead and my dad can’t be home often, he works on construction projects around Sapporo. He sends cash to me and Toya-chan, and it isn’t always enough, but he tries his best ’, she answers, her voice feather light. 

‘I’m sorry’, he tells her a little awkwardly, thinking about his happy family and wondering how it’d feel like to have them torn away from him so early on in life. 

‘Don’t be’, she replies, ‘Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to have good parents who’re dead or absent rather than horrible parents who’re still alive’. 

He jolts awake again, relieved to find himself back in his bed. It’s barely four in the morning, but he’s not going to be able to sleep after that, so he resigns himself to using the time to get cracking on his college assignments anyway. But he makes sure to call his mother once day breaks and he’s sure she’s returned from the market with groceries in tow, telling her awkwardly that he’s just calling to catch up and hopes she’s been well and ok bye mum I love you very much, heart pounding when he hangs up abruptly. 

He has a standing appointment on the first Thursday every month to meet Kenma for coffee at a café a stone’s throw away from Waseda. They both order black coffee, which is strange for Kenma considering his legendary sweet tooth, but he knows Kenma too well to know that the ridiculously successful game streamer is only drinking coffee to stay awake, the shadows under his eyes deeper and darker than those under Akaashi’s own eyes.  

‘Doesn’t Kuroo-san nag you go to bed at a decent time?’ 

Kenma doesn’t even bother to flick his eyes up, busy gulping mouthfuls of the bitter liquid. ‘Speak for yourself. Not sleeping well either?’ 

Akaashi shrugs his shoulders helplessly, stirring his coffee. ‘Mm. ‘I’ve been having strange recurring dreams and it’s been affecting my sleep’. 

Kenma merely hums in reply, and Akaashi finds himself spilling out the entire weird series of events – though to be absolutely accurate, his dreams aren’t real so they can’t be termed as events, but they’ve been haunting him for the past month so they might as well be at this rate. He explains about finding himself in the body of a high school girl with curly hair and a dimple on one cheek, how he’s lived her life enough in the past month that he can map out her days with startling certainty, how he knows it’s not real – it can’t be real, but his dreams glimmer with such vibrancy that they feel real. 

‘Am I going crazy?’ he asks. 

‘I highly doubt it’, Kenma says, tapping his chin in thought. ‘Maybe it’s like one of those exploration video games where you have to take your time to discover its world to figure out the narrative the game is feeding you.’ 

Trust Kenma to relate everything to video games. 

‘That was singularly unhelpful’, Akaashi says dryly as Kenma chuckles quietly in response. 

He is almost afraid to fall asleep again but his eyelids are weighed down by weeks’ worth of sleep deprivation and soon he finds himself again in her body. 

It’s a clear winter’s night. He’s huddled under a thick blanket to shield himself from the bitter cold, watching the embers in the hearth glow yellow and gold. 

‘It’s late. Can’t sleep?’ 

‘Mm’ he replies. ‘Wondering what tomorrow will bring.’ 

‘You’re overthinking again, Keiji’, she chuckles. ‘Tomorrow’s going to be just another day. You’ll wake up back in your warm bed at the crack of dawn for volleyball practice, attend classes in your fancy private school, and play even more volleyball with your beloved Bokuto-san’. 

He rolls his eyes heavenwards at her words and her laugh this time is loud, bright. 

‘You know I only speak the truth. Now, since you need to wake up ridiculously early tomorrow, why don’t I tell you a bedtime story so you can fall asleep.’

‘I’m not a child’, he replies dryly, but does not object when she starts to narrate the tale of a princess exiled from the moon, who is raised by a humble woodcutter and his wife to become a renowned beauty, with five suitors seeking her hand. ‘That’s mean of her’, he mumbles as she describes how the princess rebuffs her suitors by setting them impossible tasks, drifts to sleep as her voice softens as she describes how the princess falls in love with the Emperor, but breaks both their hearts because she knows she must return to the moon someday. He’s fast asleep when she reaches the ending where the princess leaves all her memories on earth with tears in her eyes, gifting the emperor with an elixir of immortality which he burns, because he declares life isn’t worth living without her. 

‘Goodnight Keiji’, she says, her voice shimmering in the still night air.   

For the first time in a long while, Akaashi wakes up at peace. 

Taglist: 

@1tooru @animeflower26 @kageyamakock

[honeyhuun]

astro’s reaction to you calling them late at night

~  type  .  reaction

~ requested . no

~  pairing  .  astro x gender-neutral!reader

~  genre  .  comfort fluff with some slight angst 

~  tw  .  mentions of insomnia

~  song recommendation  .  all night by astro

~  a/n  .  ahh it feels so good to be writing on this platform again ~ hopefully i can stay more active on this blog hehe, i hope you enjoy my first reaction !! it’s like 12am when i’m writing this so it might be shit lol. i just miss ot6 astro a lot mm’kay, someone tell eunwoo to come home ;-;

.

.

.

you check the time on your phone and it’s only three am when it feels like you have tried to fall asleep for what felt like hours. you sit up in bed and rub your tired red eyes, fearing for when your alarm would start going off alerting you to start your day when you hadn’t even finished the last. in your sluggish haste you dialled your boyfriend’s number with empty hope that’ll he will pick up... 

.

| p a r k  j i n w o o 

it took him a while to answer, as expected he was fast asleep. but when he was dragged finally dragged so far outside of his sleep cycle to notice that his phone was ringing, he shot up so fast and answered immediately. when jinwoo heard your voice on the other end he became even more concerned than he already was. why were you awake at this time? was something troubling you? were you in danger? this worried leader bear would not stop worried leadering, he can’t help it, it’s in his nature to be concerned about you. however when you said you just found it a bit hard to sleep and wanted to hear his voice, he softened (a just a bit though he’s still nag you a bit but it was all out of love). jinwoo would then spend the rest of the call’s duration talking softly about his day and things he’s been interested in lately. and maybe MAYBE sing a short lullaby for you really really quietly (so quiet you’d think he’s whispering). in between all his sweet actions he never fails to tell you he loves you and that he’s so extremely proud of you no matter what you do. he wouldn’t end the call until you’ve been silent for 20 minutes and hears your heavy breathing from the other side of the line.

“you want me to sing for you? really bubs, is there anything else- okay, okay, but only because i love you so much my beautiful amazing y/n. if you ever feel like this again please call me, i don’t care what time, your wellbeing is my number one priority” 

(i’m blushing oml i love jinwoo so much ;-;)

| k i m  m y u n g j u n

when it comes to you he would be all bright n’ smiley, no matter how tired he actually was. you knew he had musical promotions coming up which is why you wanted to avoid calling him during the later hours of the day as much as possible. but you should know myungjun is always up to talk to you no matter the time place or day: you’re his love why wouldn’t he? when he answered your call he tried to mask the tiredness in his voice by speaking in a chirpier tone than usual, you laughed at his attempt and said you were going to end the call to let him rest. myungjun of course would never let you have the final say so he started to whine until you gave in and continued to talk to him. then he insisted you guys face timed his excuse being “if i don’t see your face i am physically unable to go to sleep” complete bullshit, but that’s what you love about him. when you answered his face time request he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face. you’d guys would be on call for about an hour telling shitty jokes, blowing raspberries at the screen and talking about places you’d like to visit when you’re both less busy. myungjun only agreed to end the call when both of you struggled intensely to keep your eyes open. 

“oooo, look at you my perfect baby!! you’re so good looking you know that? you take my breathe away every single day, i can’t believe you’ve deprived me from seeing your face for this long”

“it’s too late for this myungjun...”

“no matter the time i will shower you with the compliments you deserve jagi!”

| c h a  e u n w o o

good chances are he’s awake and can’t seem to sleep, not being able to clear his head to the point of exhaustion. eunwoo was fully prepared to spend the rest of the night awake. maybe he could do something more useful with his time and catch a nap on set later in the day. kicking off his covers, he was planning to get out of bed but then he got your call. out of all the members i feel eunwoo would be the happiest to get a call from you at this time of night (all of the members wouldn’t really mind but eunwoo would love getting calls like this, it made him feel liked you needed him). when he picked up and there was no hint of sleepiness in his tone you got worried. for the first few minutes all the call was you two sweetly bickering. “why are you still awake-” “well why are you?” “you called me first” “well if you were fast asleep you wouldn’t pick up” and more cute shit like that. talking to you at times like this would bring him so much strength and he really treasures it. something about your silly sleep deprived conversations feels so intimate to him and it sets his heart alight. when he can tell you’re drifting off, he makes sure to tell you he loves you once more before trying to get some sleep himself. the sounds of you soft half-awake sighs would lull him into a deep sleep and you would only notice he never ended the call when you wake up to your phone’s battery being on 3% and the sound of a snoring eunwoo.

“i’ve noticed i don’t sleep as well without you in my arms. i miss your sleepy voice, it’s like a lullaby to me. when i see next you i’m never letting you leave my sight again.”

| m o o n  b i n

is it just me or does anyone else think our binnie has a slight temper when he’s woken up from sleep. it wouldn’t last for long but he’ll be very cranky and frustratedly pouty if his alarm had gone off or one of the members started shouting in the dorm when he’s trying to have a lie in. he’d wouldn’t be any different when he heard his phone ringing from the bedside table. he was so tempted to fling that thing out the window. when it went off for the third time he answered the call clumsily almost missing the answer button. in a pissed sleepy voice he answered “what do you want?” you taken aback by your normally sweet boyfriend’s bluntness, whispered a quick apology before ending the call. moonbin felt so awful when he was realised it was you. the last thing this boy wants to do is hurt your feelings and he was angry at himself for denying you in a time of need (now we have a really frustrated pouty bin). he immediately called you back and apologised a lot (even after you said it was fine, his every other sentence was filled with sweet sorry’s and kissy noises just to make sure you don’t hate him) moonbin would calmly ask why you called and got a bit worried when you said you couldn’t sleep. bin would scold you lightly for maybe staring at your screen for too long or not taking as many breaks as he thought you needed. but then again he would comfort you and ask if there’s anything you’d like to get off your chest. after letting you rant he gave his best advice and the most loving and encouraging words he could. you fell asleep to the sounds of his praise and bin couldn’t have felt better.

“baby i’m so so sorry, you know i would never deny you like that on purpose, please don’t be hurt. you’re worth so much to me, i couldn’t bare for you to be upset with me. you know how much i care about you love, right?” *ensue more pouty and whiny bin waffle*

(why this so long and i’m not even binnie biased -_-)

| p a r k  m i n h y u k

minhyuk would be wide awake when you call him. he feels like one of those people who finds it really relaxing to go on runs in the early morning, watching the sunrise by the river; seeing streets around him get busier as the city starts waking up. he would be in his kitchen filling up his water bottle, hearing his phone ring from the island behind him. his eyes glanced at the contact name and he smiled. minhyuk answered your call like he would answer any other, failing to realise that it was going on 4am and you had things to do in the next few hours. after hearing that you couldn’t sleep he would chuckle and joke around “what’s the thing keeping my y/n from sleeping? tell me and i’ll beat the shit out of the thing ” (not lying he would punch the air around you if you said it was bothering you, he really is that whipped). i don’t think the conversation would hold anything in particular. it would just be mindless small talk and random thoughts as rocky is getting himself ready for his run. it would be so light hearted and sweet, this is what most of your relationship is like and why you love minhyuk so much. everything is so chill and thoughtless with him, you match each other so well. you could say something and nine times out of ten he is thinking the same thing. after sometime he would say he had to end the call because if not he’d miss the sunrise. you complained playfully that he was choosing the sun over you and minhyuk found it funny; promising to make it up to you in one way or another. but you didn’t expect to be woken up by the clattering of pans and cups caused by your clumsy boyfriend, in your kitchen trying to make you breakfast.

“ahh don’t worry y/n, i would never need the sun when i have you with me. you make me so happy you’re like my own personal sunshine. try and get some rest and you’ll wake up to pictures of the sunrise that reminds me so much of you.”

| y o o n  s a n a h

out of all six members, he would be the only one not to pick up. sanah obviously wouldn’t do it on purpose, he loves you way too much to ignore you like that. he probably left his phone to charge in another room or in a more likely scenario poor bubs was just so tired he couldn’t wake up. even if you threw water on him our maknae wouldn’t budge. so when you called, his phone was just vibrating on the table untouched. after the fifth go you just stopped trying to reach him and started up at your celling hoping tiredness would reach you soon. in the morning when sanah checked his phone and saw all your missed calls, colour drained from his face and he’d get so panicky that he’d almost drop his it. he called back immediately, flooding your exhausted state with so many questions it would make anyone lightheaded. when telling him you just wanted to hear his voice hoping it would help you sleep, he replied with “did you end up getting any sleep then?” and when all he was met with was silence from your end, his heart dropped. he was so angry at himself and would never let it go that he was the reason you didn’t sleep (he wasn’t but trust me for the next week he’d go to bed with his phone right behind his ear). sanah would tell you to get your laptop ready with a show you’d been meaning to watch because he was coming over for a nap n’ movie date. when you tried to object because you had things to do that day he told you no but’s and he’d cancel work/school/your meet up with friends for you. in no time he showed up at your door in his pyjamas with two plastic bags, filled with extra blankets and your favourite sweet and savoury snacks.

“what do you mean you didn’t get any sleep and did some work instead? sweetcheeks you know that’s horrible for your health, i can’t have you being sick, it would break me knowing i was the reason. you know what? get your netflix account up i’m coming over- no excuses, i’ll handle everything else, now go get ready to be attack with my love.”

(the sweetest >:( i cry)

.

if you reached the end thank you so so much for reading. if this comforted you even just a bit i’m so glad <3 ily u all ~~

[vemuabhi]

Amusement park Date - 1000 ch special!

Hey everyone! This is my celebration for One piece 1000 chapter!

Monster Trio + Ussop

ONE PIECE UNIVERSE

Scenarios where Character and Reader go on a date to Amusement Park on an island

special Law and Kidd Here (Clickable) 

LUFFY

I shifted again as I tried to sleep. I don’t know why I’m not able to sleep but because of my shifting I woke my dear boyfriend accidently. He murmured, “What happened Y/N? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“Oh dear, I am sorry for waking you up Luffy. I wasn’t able to sleep so I was shifting. Sorry again”, I apologised to him and he placed his hand on one of my cheek as he said, “Don’t apologise, its ok. Are you hungry? Is your hunger making you not sleep? Trust me I’ve faced that.”

I chucked and said, “Yes love, I know you faced it but, I am not hungry. I am just not able to fall asleep.”

Luffy hummed as he closed his eyes trying to think of something but instead I could see his head getting Red as a side effect. He sighed as he opened his eyes and looked at me and added, “I have never faced any other situation, other than that…”, he said in a defeated tone making me smile at his cuteness. “But! I guess if we do this, you can sleep”, he said as he wrapped his arms around me and got very close. He had his classic beautiful smile while he cuddled me.

“I am sure you can fall asleep like this”, he said and smiled widely making me giggle. He was having the perfect temperature and had the smell of delicious Sanji’s cooking.

“This really helps. Thank you love”, I smiled and pecked his cheek as he giggled.

“Then let’s sleep, we should go out to explore the new island”, he said as he pulled me closer and continued, “And… maybe go… on a date…”, with that Luffy fell asleep. My cheeks turned pink and I smiled at how

“Yes Captain!”, I replied. We cuddled as I thought about how amazing our date would be. With the comfort Luffy was giving in his warm hug, it was all I needed for falling asleep peacefully.

As for the date, we both got on different types of rides mostly the scary ones and didn’t even miss one single food stall. Luffy stopped at every single food stall as he wanted to eat all food items available. I was also keeping company to Luffy as he ate.

Suddenly Luffy stretched his neck and came closer to me. I gulped at the sudden closeness. It was a surprise and my heart started beating faster.

“Y/N… you”, Luffy said as I blinked and continued, “Have food on your face”, with this he leaned in and pecked my cheek dangerously close to my lips, where the food was and said, “We don’t want that to waste right”.

‘Oh god Save me’, I thought as covered my flushed face…

After a while I came across a small competition where people were arm wrestling. As I looked at it, I felt a chill run down my spine with excitement. Luffy was still busy stuffing his mouth with food in a stall few meters away.

“Luffy! Come here”, I call Luffy and he stretched and came to my side in a second.

“Will you participate in it”, I asked Luffy as I pointed at the competition.

“Woah! Seems fun!”, Luffy Exclaimed as he jumped onto the stage. There stood a huge guy who couldn’t be beaten up till now as he faced Luffy. According to now, he should be defeated in order to win the competition.

The jerk smirked as Luffy sat in the opposite side of his. He was underestimating Luffy and I really hated that. I know Luffy wouldn’t lose but I still shouted, “LUFFY! WIN! YOU CAN WIN”, luffy smirked and I succeeded in making sure everyone in the place heard it and even draw attention to the place. Everyone’s eyes were on the match as both contestants sat opposite to each other.

“Osu!”, Luffy said as he positioned his arm, and in one swift move, my Luffy got the opponents arm down with a bonus of crashing the jerks complete body to the hard floor of the stage, even making the floor break.

Seeing the scene in front of me, I jumped up the stage and hugged Luffy as he returned my hug and complained, “It wasn’t that hard… boo”, he pouted like a child and I chuckled looking at his face.

We got the trophy and were enjoying so much but in the end….. Luffy accidentally broke one of the rides and we both ran from that scene with the rest of the crew. Anyhow that was sure one hell of a date and I loved it!

ZORO

Me and my boyfriend Zoro, go on a date to the amusement park which was pretty famous for the island we stopped on. We also wanted a break from the crew and spend some quality time together.

We both split from the crew and go for some rides. We enjoyed the roller coaster and did window shopping. Zoro won so many games and got prizes. But we purposely avoided the shooting games because we didn’t want to bump in with the crew now.

“Woah! This is amazing Zoro. You won so many things. Im so proud of you.”, I praised him and all he did was to grunt. Well he is happy and I can feel it.

I smiled at him as he bought me a snack. We both were looking at the stalls as we ate it. Then I saw a cute Lama in a claw machine.

“Awww look at that cute Lama. Can you win it Zoro?”, I pleaded my boyfriend as I gave him puppy eyes.

“Huff… you are such a trouble. Now tell me what you want”, he said as he grinned looking at the claw machine. I grinned as I showed him the Lama which I wanted.

Then… Zoro for the first time in being in the amusement park… lost.

After some time

“Babe stop! Its fine if we don’t get it”, I tell my boyfriend as he tries for the 7th time to win the Lama plushie that I liked.

“No way! Ill win that stupid thing for you!”, Zoro grunted as he lost for the 7th time.

“I really appreciate it Zoro but we are spending all of our money on this claw machine. We still need to see all the other stalls”, I tried to convince him but he wasn’t listening.

Zoro inserted the coin in the machine and got the 8th loss. He was emitting violet and black fumes. He wasn’t going to give up that easily… even after the 22nd time of losing. He was barely keeping his swords away from cutting down the machine. I huffed as I look at my man who is really pissed now. I gently place my hand on his shoulder and say, “Babe… think of it all as your experience. Now use all of it in this game. I am sure you’ll win it this time.”

Zoro took a deep breath and closed his eye. He stayed still for couple of seconds and opened his eye as he got back to the machine. He looked sharply at the Lama plushie and took the handle and pushed it back and froth as he aligned it to the Lama.

“I’m going to get the stupid toy that you liked at all costs”, with this he hit the red button which enabled the Grip for the toy.

As everyone says… 23rd time is the charm, Zoro won the plushie at last!! I was too exited so I just jumped and wrapped my arms around his neck. Zoro took the toy and gave it to me.

“Trust me Zoro, this is the best gift ever because it represents all your hard work and passion of yours.”, I said as I kissed his lips. He blushed and huffed as he said, “Of..of course I said I’d win for you. There is no way I would lose to this dumb game.” He said as he happily took my hand and started to walk away from the machine.

We see Sanji coming towards us. “Hey Sanji! Look at this Lama, Zoro won it for me!”, I proudly showed my plushie to him as he smiled back at me.

“That’s so good! Well done Marimo! So you too can be nice to your lover”, Sanji said as he went towards the machine.

“I don’t need to hear it from you, love cook. So you trying to win huh”, Zoro stayed still looking at Sanji.

“I… I do want to get some toys”, Sanji replied as he played the machine and also… got the stuff toy in the… First try. He inserted the second coin and played as he won… the second time. I was watching Sanji awestruck I didn’t realise Zoro let go of my hand. Then the third win and during the fourth time Sanji won two toys at the same time.

“Woah! See two at a time!”, he said as he walked towards us and gave me a toy and said, “I need to give Nami san and Robin chan also… So I’ll go now”, Sanji said.

“Wait Sanji!”, I stopped Sanji and asked, “How… did you win in a row?”

To which he smiled and said, “Ah! About that… there is a hack where we push the button two times, we will definitely get the toy. Well technically I didn’t say I wanted to win, I just wanted get the toy”, with that he left.

“Babe did you hear”, I turned my head to my side and Zoro wasn’t there. Then I heard, “ONI-”, I looked in the direction and it was too late to stop Zoro, as I saw my man give one blow to the machine, “-GIRI”, making it cut into pieces.

“Zoro…”, I managed to say and then the red lights started to blink with a sound coming from the machine.

“DIE YOU MACHINE! DIE!!!”, Zoro yelled at the machine as I took his arm and started to run away with my plushies held tightly in other hand. Zoro held my hand and with the other he held the bag of items he won in the games. We were being chased by many people and it was a mess but after we escaped and reached the ship, we both laughed at the situation.

XOXO

“Here you go”, said Sanji as he crouched down and handed the third plushie to the little raindeer.

“Ahh! Giving me this doesn’t make me happy you asshole”, Said the doctor as he did his happy dance making Sanji smile at him warmly.

SANJI

“HEY! OVER HERE!”, Sanji waved seeing me as I went towards the amusement park. We agreed to meet here for today’s date. Sanji wore a blue Hawaiian shirt and grey knee length shorts. It was a sunny island and was really warm. Sanji looked so different in this attire from his usual Dress shirt and coat. Not gonna lie he can pull off any type of outfit.

“Y/N! You look so cute!”, he cooed with a wide grin on his face. ‘Agh! I was supposed to compliment him first’, I scolded myself.

“Thankyou… you… you look handsome too”, I managed to let it out in a soft low voice but still he heard it. His eyes widened as his lips parted and his face flushed.

“Thankyou Y/N chan”, he thanked and offered me his hand. I smiled and took his hand as we both headed into the amusement park together. Sanji not once swooned over any other girl from the moment we both held hands.

We both shopped and took some photos together. We both got on slow and romantic rides as it was more romantic. We both played many games and Sanji trying to impress me, as if he hadn’t already done that, won all the games. I mean we were told to leave because he was way too good.

In the way I saw a Horror House. ‘Woah! Did I just get excited?!’, I stop Sanji from walking further and asked, “Sanji, can we go there please”, I pointed towards the Horror house.

Sanji looked at it and smirked as he said, “Yeah why not! Seems fun”. He seemed more excited than I was. Maybe it was because he was also missing the thrill. We walked quickly towards the horror house still my hand in his.

We go into the horror house with excitement. We go in and see some jump scares here and there… not very scary yet… there we go to a room filled with mirrors.

Then suddenly a man in clown costume comes into the room and the mirrors made reflections of him. This took me by surprise and I screamed as I hugged Sanji. He rubbed soothing circles on my back as he hugged me back instantly.

“Don’t get too close! She is scared now because of you”, he started to lecture the clown dressed man as he still hugged me and we left the room. ‘Well I know it’s a place to get scared but… he was so cute when he scolded that person because I was scared. Poor man… just did his job though’, I thought as I still hugged Sanji and explored the house more.

Whenever I got scared he turned his protective mode on and lectured the actors. They were too scared to say anything back and ran away from where they came from. Which never I guess never happened in this horror house before.

We both completed our turn and I was still feeling the adrenaline in my veins. That was actually a very scary horror house I’ve seen. I look at Sanji who was blushing and smiling. He asked, “Are you ok now Y/N?”

“Yeah… it was scary… though I guess you didn’t have much fun”, I said as I hung my head low. He placed his slender fingers on my chin and lifted my head up to face his. He smiled warmly at me and said, “It wasn’t scary to me but, I did love how you held me close to you and how you relied on me when you were scared.”, he said and I blushed. Then I noticed, we were in the same position even now and my blush even grew more. Yet…. I still didn’t want to let him go. I still held him close and I said, “Thankyou… Sanji”, with that he came closer and made our foreheads touch.

“I love you Y/N”, Sanji declared suddenly. His face was so close to mine and I could see the nervousness in his eyes.

“I love you too, you don’t have to be so nervous every time you say it”, I chuckled and he giggle. He pecked my nose and pulled back. He started to sway my hand as he indicated to continue the date. I obliged and we went to another game. ‘What did I even do to deserve him’, I thought as we continued our date.

USSOP

“Agh!! Ussop! C’mon! lets go. It’s a good day, we are on an island with theme park… I want to go on a date”, I nagged at my boyfriend who was in middle of making a new invention.

“Oh… ok then, lets go!”, Ussop says as he got up.

“That’s my baby”, I praise him as I ruffled his hair and he blushed ‘cause I called him Baby.

We both started to head to the theme park with hands linked. He was blushing the complete time. ‘Could he be anymore cuter?’, I thought as I enjoyed looking at my shy boyfriend.

“Ussop, lets eat something”, I turned to see my boyfriend who was already drooling at the sight of all the food stalls. He is a foodie and eats a lot, just… cant be compared to Luffy but he has potential.

“YES PLEASE!”, he said as he went to the stalls to eat. I chuckled when he just shoved a burger down his throat, but my smile was replaced by worry when he choked on it.

“BAKA USSOP! DON’T WORRY ME LIKE THAT!”, I scold him as he chugged down the water I handed him.

“….Sorry Y/N”, he apologises with puppy dog eyes of his which are hard to stay mad at. I huff and accept his apology. I took his hand in mine and dragged him to a scary ride.

“Wait.. Y/N…”, he said as I looked at him and see him placing his free hand on his chest and continued, “I think I’m getting the disease “Shouldn’t get on that ride” help me.” He even fake coughed and swayed back and forth to make it more dramatic. “Like I’d believe that… but keep up the acting. Good job”, I say as he dejectedly follows me while I drag him to the ride.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SAVE MEEEEEE!!!!! I’M GONNA DIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!”, Ussop Yelled the complete ride while I yelled, “YAHOOOOOOO!!!!!! THISSSS IS CRAZYYYYYY!! I LOVE ITTTT!!!”

We both got down the ride as I beamed with happiness and said, “It was so much fun!”

I got no response from my boyfriend so I turned to look at him. He had this dark aura surrounding him. He even was mumbling something which wasn’t… a language I know. It even felt like his soul was leaving his body.

“Ussop… you okay dude?”, I ask him as I crouch down and hug him.

“I am surprised I’m even alive”, he said and returned my hug. He was acting so cute by snuggling against my neck, making me chuckle.

“No way that could kill you”, I place one hand under his arm and other on his waist and pull him up. He looks at me with his glossy eyes making my heart skip a beat.

“Ok ok ok… no more scary rides. I got it. So… lets go and play some games”, I suggest for which he happily nods.

We both go to the game stalls and I saw a shooting game. I stop in my tracks making Ussop to bump into me because he was walking behind me.

“Ouch! What happened Y/N? Why did you stop?”, he asked as I looks at the game I pointed. We both smirked as we looked at each other and headed towards it. Ussop takes a gun and starts to shoot perfectly and wins continuous prizes making me happy.

Suddenly I get a thought of getting a prize for him. So I place my hand on the gun and give coins to the person who was in in charge and take position. I fire the gun but it misses and again and again…. It was making my heart crush but I still wanted to win.

Looking at my sad face Ussop couldn’t help but step in. He gracefully placed his arms on the gun and pointed it to the target. We were in a position where he was basically back hugging me. It’s always me initiating hugs and kisses. So… this made me blush so hard. I was basically a tomato in Ussop’s arms. He pulls the trigger and shoots the target with ease, making me win for the first time.

I smile widely as I notice it. It was his doing but… it made me so happy.

“Y/N Look! You shot the target”, he says as he looks at my face. He notices how red my face was and how close we both were. This makes him blush hard. He slowly lets go of me. The man in charge of the game comes towards us and hands me the prize. He witnessed the moment and was also blushing.

I took the prize and handed it to my boyfriend but I hung my head low. I was too embarrassed to face him while I give it. He takes it with his shaky hands indicating he was also very nervous. I build up my courage, take his hand and start to walk with him to another game.

Ussop was very quiet but then he suddenly says, “I love you Y/N”, making me stop in my tracks. My heart beat increased. I turned around, looked at him and replied, “I love you too Ussop”.

We both smiled at each other and continued walking side by side with our hands linked. ‘Definitely the best date till now’, I thought as we walked back to the ship with lots of toys and prizes.

special Law and Kidd Here (Clickable)

I hope you all liked it! please like, reblog and comment! sorry for any mistakes

[missallsundayyy]

Wake me up at midnight

"You know Robin, you've been spending 95% of your time with Law lately. We barely get to see you in the yard" Nami whined, the strawhats were having lunch and all the crew was now gathered in the dining room. All except for Trafalgar Law who was in the library reading his medical texts. Chopper, Sanji, Zoro and Franky are amongst the ones that weren't busy swallowing the food like they've not eaten in 2 years.

"That's not true Nami, me Robin and Tra-guy are always in the medical room and if we're not we would be out on watch" Chopper said with a mouth filled with meat.

"You're only with then because you're in the same field as Law but Robin is with Law most of the time, nyaaah Robin! It's like you don't miss us girl time anymore" Nami complained like a teenager losing her best friend.

"Maybe you'd be third wheeling Robin and Law. Robin probably likes him that's why she's spending so much time with him" Franky shrugged while popping a whole sandwich into his mouth with the help of his tiny robotic finger-hand. This comment raised Zoro's eyebrows and enraged the ships' cook.

"THAT DAMNED PIRATE AND MY ROBIN CHWANNNN TOGETHER!!!? I WILL DRAG HIM INTO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN FLOOR MYSELF~~>¥~€~£\¥" Sanji yelled with strings of curses and inaudible swearing following.

"Shut it up you Ero-cook and let's hear what the woman has to say" Zoro interrupted and then turned to Robin also curious about the new bond relationship forming between his crewmate and the Captain of the Heart pirates.

"Fufufu first off, I apologise if i've not been spending any time with you Nami. However me and Law-kun are simply sharing each others' knowledge regarding the void century and I have been researching on something new." Robin said with a smile.

She was touched that her nakamas wanted to spend time with her and she felt guilty that she failed to notice how she wasn't spending time with them. She was too engrossed with Law's company and the stories he would story tell her everyday when he was done with his work to ask Nami to sun tan or read megazines together anymore or ask the rest if they wanted afternoon tea or coffee. She mentally note that she would definitely make it up to the navigator on the next island they stop at; that would definitely cost her a fortune but its a small price to pay.

TIMESKIP

Law was in the library as usual working on his medical research when he heard the door open and close and he could hear her high-heels click-clack on the wooden floor. He smirked knowing exactly who was coming. Robin found the surgeon behind a pile of medical books. “You know for a doctor, you are quite unhealthy yourself Law-kun.” She crossed her arms staring at him.

“Oh? What makes you say that Nico-ya”

“How many hours did you sleep last night?”

“Enough” he shut her down with his reply but Robin was too experienced for his bullshit.

She walked towards the surgeon who was sitting on the sofa, she made herself comfortable and leaned towards Law who was now confused about what she was trying to do. Soon enough she was in a sleeping position with her head on his lap. Law was taken aback by her actions. Never was he this close to someone in an intimate way before.

“Nic...co-ya...what are you?..”

“It’s peaceful around you Law-kun. I’ve not been sleeping well these few days and if you don’t mind i’d like to be here just for a few hours.” Her bright big blue orbs connected with his and he thought he felt something he had never felt before. He couldn’t say no even if he wanted to and Robin had that effect on him. When they first interacted it would be purely out of curiosity of each other, he could feel the woman’s pain and loss which he himself had first hand experience in. As time went by, they would spend more and more time with each other and he wouldn’t admit it outloud but she was someone he would very much want in his crew. Her intelligence, wisdom, calmness and composure in his opinion would make one of the best asset if she was in his crew. That aside she was very skilled with her devil fruit powers as well, what more would a man...a captain want.

“Alright, you have my company until you’re well rested Nico-ya.” he replied and resumed his gaze back to his papers. While his gaze is towards the researches but his attention and focus was still on the woman on his lap. The woman who trusted a soon to be an enemy of her crew.

“Law-kun?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you’re very handsome when you’re pretending to be concentrated on your papers”

There she goes being the damn tease she is. He was now trying to focus not to be all flustered and then her giggles echoed throughout the room.

“I think you’re a beautiful women Nico-ya. I would have loved to have you be a part of my crew.”

She was now taken aback by his compliment but of course made no intentions to show him, “I'm touched but better not let anyone hear that, it would surely cause another commotion” she grinned at the captain.

“I'm just saying, if i had crossed path with you first…”

“You would have me as your enemy and killed me.”

“That's how you feel about me?”

“That's how i felt”

“What about now?” Law hesitated asking but fuck it.

“I think Luffy’s decision to align with you was one of those rare right choices he has made in being captain so far. I’d put this as bluntly as I can Law-kun, I like you.” A smile crept on his face, she told him exactly what he wanted her to say.

“Shall we continue our research once you’re rested Nico-ya?” he was never good with affections and Robin knew that this was his way of telling her he felt the same way.

“Wake me up at midnight”

So, Law did something he’s never done before and for once he used his hand for something aside his abilities. He ran his hands through Robin’s soft raven locks “Rest well Nico-ya”

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Chapter Four

Well, this is probably my 2nd favourite chapter from Ginsei no Shou... Final edits will be done later as always. Need to go over the punctuation and some of the sentences which were compounded in the translation I used so I also need to review that... though it’s probably going to take a while before i get to the subtitled video for this since my finals are literally next week, with the last one being on friday and im only about 3/5 done with the timing for the first chapter. 

Chapter 4 occurs in Edo.

enjoy!

Hakuoki Shinkai: Ginsei no Shou - Saito Chapter Four

Translation by KumoriYami

Twelfth month, third year of Keiou. 

The Shinsengumi was very busy following the aftermath of the Battle of Toba Fushimi and other political affairs, and was very busy......

However, in comparison, the current political situation has undergone even greater changes. [check jp mtl. reword later].

The Edo Shogunate which had been provoked by Western vassals, had been unable to completely suppress them, finally accepted the Imperial Restoration Order [check jp mtl]. 

In name, the shogunate was abolished and a new government was established [reword later].

However, the Shogunate, which had held power for so long, naturally refused to give it up [check jp mtl]. 

At the end of the third year of Keiou, many soldiers had been stationed in Kyoto and Osaka in order to prevent the Sat-cho's forces/armies/troops from entering the capital. 

The Shinsengumi which had been stationed at Toba-Fushimi, also confronted the Sat-cho's forces.

Then, on the third day of the first month, before the atmosphere of the New Year had yet to dissipate——

A single gunshot started the Battle of Toba-Fushimi. 

Until now, the Shinsengumi which wielded blades, could have been regarded as invincible. 

However against the Sat-cho which with the latest weapons and equipment, they had been unable to make up the gap in performance granted by guns [reword later.]. 

The warriors fell down one after another before they even stepped into the attack range of a sword, and their dead bodies piled up like a mountain. 

Watching how he was no longer able to rely on his battle-honed swordsmanship, could only watch as Kyoto, which he had guarding with all his heart, turned into a sea of flames, I had no idea about what Saito-san had been thinking [reword later].

I had always viewed the Shinsengumi as samurai, and so, their defeat felt like it signified the end to the age of samurai...... 

I wasn’t able to put this into words, and was only able to watch in silence. 

After, in order to avoid pursuers, we decided to retreat to Osaka Castle. 

In addition to Amagiri-san, who had been repeatedly fought against.

 because I was the target of that male oni——Kazama-san, we ended up being obstructed once again.

The fighting with the Sat-cho forces had ended up [with them] being completely suppressed by the latest firearms [check jp mtl]. 

Yet even the katana that he had always believed in was unable to resist the strength Kazama-san wielded as an oni......

Even so, Saito-san was like a well-tempered steel blade, completely unyielding——

In order to fulfill his orders to protect me, he drank the Ochimizu, became a rasetsu, and was finally able to drive back Kazama-san. 

Afterwards. 

We arrived at Osaka Castle, and met up with the rest of the Shinsengumi. 

We followed Yoshinobu who retreated to Edo [check jp. pretty sure this is Yoshinobu being mentioned here], and vowed to make a comeback from Edo. 

The reason why I was living with the Shinsengumi was originally to find my missing father.

Now, since there wasn't much meaning in doing so, I didn't seem to have a reason to follow them anymore......  

After pulling myself together, I took [my] sword [check jp for kodachi] from Saito-san, and decided to follow the Shinsengumi. 

This must have been because of being in contact with them all the time , the Shinsengumi had become my home. 

First month and a half, Fourth year of Keiou [uh... reword later.].

We finally returned to Edo, and borrowed a hanamoto's residence/mansion [check game for the term they use] to use as our headquarters to regain our strength.  

But, it wasn't easy to restructure/reorganize a severely damaged organization. 

Kondou-san and Hijikata-san, in order to negotiate with the Shogunate, were attending meetings all day. 

Inoue-san and Yamazaki-san had sacrificed their lives, and Okita-san was still recuperating......

The greatest burdens naturally fell onto Saito-san. 

After turning into a rasetsu, he would feel unwell from simply being awake during the day, but he still never complained and devoted himself to working all day and night/tirelessly working. 

Second month of the Fourth year of Keiou

One day during the second month of the Fourth year of Keiou, when I saw deeply distressed over how Saito-san was working and reluctant to even sleep, the following story occurred. 

Second month of the Fourth Year of Keiou

During the first month of the year, the former/old shogunate army, which had been defeated at/in the/during the Battle of Toba-Fushimi, retreated to Edo, was waiting for the opportunity to make a comeback.

The Shinsengumi, who had also returned to Edo, first stayed at a hotel in Shinagawa, then borrowed a hanamoto's residence in Edo to use as their headquarters. 

In order to revitalize/restructure the situation [reword later. think that reads oddly], every day was very busy.

About a month after returning to Edo...... 

Yukimura: Um, I remember that this box should have......

I was in the middle of hastily organizing all sorts of things that had been bought for the/at the new headquarters/I was at the new headquarters and arranging all sorts of things that had been purchased [check jp mtl]. 

However, I couldn't waste too much time on this.

Because I still had to go shopping, and there were many other things that had to be done——

Yukimura: Ah……!

Because of how flustered I was, I accidently knocked down a pile of luggage. 

Yukimura: Ah……

Those things need to be put back/returned to their original positions as soon as possible. 

Thinking this, I quickly/hurriedly picked up the luggage. Just then/At this moment, someone opened the door, and a cool/clear/cool and clear [check jp mtl] voice came [echoed]. 

Saito:……Yukimura.

Yukimura: Ah, Saito-san. I thought you went out, but it turns out you were here [reword later].

Saito: I just returned....... putting that aside, I heard a loud noise just now.

Yukimura: Ah...... I'm sorry, I wasn't careful and knocked some of the luggage down [reword later?]. I'll clean it up right away, so don't worry about it.

Saito: It'll be difficult for you to do this by yourself, so I'll help you. 

Shortly after he spoke, he picked up the luggage and returned it to their original positions [reword later].

Yukimura: But, Saito-san, shouldn't you be very busy……？

Saito: I'm not so busy to the point that I don't have time to put these back.

Yukimura:……Thank you, Saito-san.

Shortly after, we finished packing the luggage [thesaurus later].

Saito: Anyway, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Nn, what's wrong/what is it?

Saito: Are you the only one sorting out the luggage here?

Yukimura: Yes. It's because the other warriors have their own work to do. In the past, Inoue-san would help me clean up, but——

After saying that, I quickly stopped myself.

Yukimura:…………I'm sorry.

Saito: No, you don't need to apologise.

Yukimura:…………

Inoue-san and Yamazaki-san, they died during the Battle of Toba Fushimi.

During such normal daily circumstances, to suddenly think of……

It was depressing/I couldn't help but feel depressed [check video].

However Saito-san and the other warriors would never publicly express their grief.

That's why...... I try to not to mention Inoue-san to them as much as possible.

Saito: Anyway, Yukimura. I would like to take you somewhere later....... Do you have anything you need to do?

Yukimura: I was planning to go buy food for dinner after....... I was just thinking about which of the warriors I could go with.

Saito: In that case, I'll go with you. Afterwards, I hope that you can accompany me. 

Yukimura: Alright, that's fine, but where are we going?

Saito: Matsumoto-sensei. So I can see the circumstances of the wounded.

Yukimura: Ah, so it was like that....... But, is that okay for you? It's still early. 

Having become a rasetsu, Saito-san would feel unwell in the sunlight [check jp mtl 'during the day'?]

But, he still......

Saito: That doesn't matter. Please get ready as soon as possible.

Although I  was very worried about him, but...... [check game]

Yukimura:.......I know.

I'm afraid that telling him to rest now, would instead be more painful. 

I silently convinced myself, and decided to go with him.

Afterwards, we visited Matsumoto-sensei, confirming the/Matsumoto-sensei to confirm the circumstances of the wounded......

Yukimura: The majority of people seem to have recovered from their injuries, which is good [check jp mtl].

Saito:......Yes, it can be said that this is good luck/blessing despite misfortune. In order to prepare for the next battle with the Sat-cho, it is necessary for as many soldiers to recover from their injuries as soon to regain [their?] combat effectiveness. 

Yukimura:......Nn.

Saito: Unfortunately, Souji......

Yukimura:......!

Hearing Okita-san’s name, I froze.

Just now, according to Matsumoto-sensei, Okita-san's seems to have seriously/significantly deteriorated——

In the future/From now on, I'm afraid that/perhaps he will never be able to hold a sword [ever] again. 

Saito: The Chief and Vice-Commander hope that they will be able to fight against the Sat-cho again soon, but I do not know if they will be able to fight alongside Souji the day that hope becomes a reality...... [check jp mtl. difficulty with translating]

Yukimura:…………

Even Saito-san, who rarely expresses himself, couldn't help but feel extremely regretful when he thought of never being able to fight alongside Okita-san again. 

Shortly after, he shook his head. 

Saito:......Sorry, I’ve upset you by saying that. [check jp mtl. Tl is more literally: Sorry, for saying that, hearing that upset you]

Yukimura: No, how could that be…...

Saito: [We’re going] back to headquarters [check jp mtl], there is still work that needs to be done.

Just as Saito-san finished speaking, and was about to move [tl is “to take a step”. Check jp mtl]. 

Saito: Guh……!

Suddenly, he winced and groaned in pain.

Yukimura: Saito-san!?

I rushed forward to support him.

Saito:......No, you don’t need to worry, I was just feeling dizzy [check game for punctuation].

Yukimura: But......!

After Saito-san turned into a rasetsu, even/just walking in the sunlight would cause pain beyond imagination/would be accompanied by unimaginable pain. 

Yukimura: After we return to headquarters, why don't you go rest for a bit? You've recently been busy with work, and don't seem to have enough rest [reword later.]. 

Saito: There is no time to rest now. 

Yukimura: But, if you continue like this……!

Saito: I said that you don’t need to worry. Now, we’re going back to headquarters.

Yukimura:......

From the bottom of my heart, I could not accept Saito-san's words. 

But, I also knew that the work he was doing, was something only he could do. 

For that reason, I didn't say anything, and returned with him to headquarters. 

Following that, it seems that Saito-san seemed to be reluctant to spend any of his time on sleeping/reluctant to even sleep, and buried himself in his work. 

It wasn't like visiting the injured soldiers yesterday, or dealing with various trivial matters, such as allocating the necessary supplies for headquarters, would do anything to raise the funds that were needed to pay for the expenses during this period of time, or anything/and so on [check jp mtl. had difficulties with this sentence].. 

Additionally, preparing money/funds for new clothes and bedding, the purchase of weapons, preparing medicine, arranging for food ingredients [reword later. check jp mtl. "money for clothes." word i have can be translated to a money-related word or "change" as in 'change of clothes']...... There were a lot of things that needed to be dealt with.

Of course, I also wanted to help as much as possible. 

Despite that though, I am unable to completely do everything. 

If only he would take a day off for his health......

Yukimura:……?

At this moment, I heard some noise from in front of the entrance. 

Those voices, it couldn't be......

I hastily ran over to the entrance. 

Opening the doors, standing in front of me were——

Yukimura: Nagakura-san, Harada-san, are you heading out?

Shinpachi:: Nn? Ah, yeah. I was planning on asking/inviting some of the soldiers to something good to eat/to eat something nice, to(/and) cheer them up [reword later]. 

Yukimura: That's it/That's...... 

If only doing something like that could encourage/cheer Saito-san up. [check jp mtl. Don’t think “cheer” is appropriate for Saito though that’s an accurate translation. thesaurus later?] .  

Seeing how I was unusually lowering my head, Harada-san looked at my face. 

Harada: What’s wrong? Did something happen?

Yukimura: Actually......

I told them about what I thought when I went out with Saito-san yesterday. [reword later?]

Harada: A way to cheer up Saito…... 

Shinpachi: What can we do about that [though?]? Even if you told him to rest, there's no way he would just obediently do that. 

Harada: Yeah. There'd be no choice but to use force to get him to sleep, right? [check jp mtl]

Yukimura: Fo-Force/By, by force? 

Shinpachi: Hey hey, you're talking nonsense, Sano. How can a girl compel Saito with brute force? [check jp mtl]

Harada: We also should be helping [check jp mtl], but,  it's not good to leave the other warriors to themselves...... 

Yukimura: The other warriors, are they too busy that they don't have time to rest......?

Shinpachi: Well...... we were ultimately defeated in battle. There are a lot of guys who are constantly accumulating resentment [reword later]. 

Harada: After all, they're all vigorous youngsters/young people, if they aren't allowed to drink and vent their frustrations, I really don't know what they might do. 

Yukimura: That’s…...

Harada: Once we come back, we'll take on/share a portion of Saito-san's work. We can't always leave the entire burden on him/all the responsibilities to him...... right?

Yukimura:......Nn, both of you, thank you.

The two men walked shoulder to shoulder. 

Watching their backs, I suddenly got an idea. 

Yukimura: Letting them drink sake to vent/express their frustrations......

I didn't know if such a thing would work with /if such a method would be effective for Saito-san. 

However, compared to doing nothing....... perhaps it was worth trying. 

Thus, later that night. 

Yukimura: Saito-san, are you/did you fall asleep?

I asked the question from behind the sliding door. [reword later?] 

Saito: Come in, Yukimura.

Yukimura: Yes, excuse/pardon me.

Saito-san still looked too busy to pay attention to me/still looked too busy to me...... [check jp mtl]

Without looking away from the/his desk, he remained focused on writing a letter. 

Saito: It's very late, is something wrong? [reword later]

Yukimura: Saito-san, are you busy right now?

Saito: There are still matters that must be completed [reword later]. Western-style training and weapons must be arranged for as quickly as possible. 

Yukimura: Then when that is finished, will your work for today be done?

Saito:......?  

Saito: No, after that's done, even though that is finished, there's still work that needs to be done and it is best to start sooner——

Turning his head, when he saw me, his expression instantly hardened/froze. 

Saito: Yukimura, what is that?

Seeing how speechless he looked, I replied with a smile. 

Yukimura: It's sake——I'll wait for you to finish that letter, there will be drinks tonight [check jp mtl. had difficulties with this sentence]! I'll be accompanying you too!

Saito:……What……?

When Saito-san's work finally came to an end......

I hurriedly explained my intentions, and poured the sake into a cup. 

Saito:.......What is this/this for. What on earth are you thinking?

Yukimura: The letter's done. You can finish the rest of your work tomorrow....... 

Saito: Even if it's not urgent/an emergency, it's better to finish this early. 

Yukimura: But, can't you have a drink? It's important to rest properly. 

I pushed the cup of sake in towards him/in front/before him.

He hesitated doubtfully for a moment, [but?] he still took the cup. 

Saito:…………

But he still didn't drink. 

It was difficult for someone to drink by themself, I thought, so I poured myself a cup, and drank it without the slightest hesitation. 

Yukimura: Ah...... It's, it's good sake! Saito-san, please [check jp mtl. word i have is "please" but it can also mean 'to ask/invite' or 'request'. maybe change to 'please have some'?]! 

Saito-san’s brows furrowed tightly, as if he was thinking for a moment......

Saito:......In the end, what is your purpose? [reword later? i don't like how that reads]

Yukimura: Actually, I——

How should I answer that?

Choices:

[It's to get you drunk] <-

[I just wanted to drink with you]

Yukimura: Because…… it’s to get you drunk.

Presumably it was because my answer was too startling, that Saito-san fell silent/was speechless [probably change to the latter].

Saito: To get me…… drunk? Are you able to drink a lot [tl is more “hold your liquor/have good capacity for drinking. reword later]?

Yukimura: Th-That's......

How was I supposed to say that I almost never drank, but was I being too bold to try and get Saito-san to be drunk? [reword later]

But......

Yukimura: If I don’t do this/If this isn’t done, you’re never going to rest. If you continue like this, you’ll definitely collapse one day. Please, just for tonight, please listen to my request and drink this sake/drink this [check game]!

Saito: Wa-Wait. You're not making any sense. Considering that....... you're not actually drunk, are you?

Yukimura: I'm not drunk! I only had one cup. Rather than me, you should be drinking this, Saito-san! This sake was specially prepared for you!

Saito:......Apparently, you won't let me go if I don't drink [reword later?].

He finally raised the cup of sake to his mouth.

Yukimura: Saito-san, did you drink it......?

Tonight's goal was to get him to rest properly.

If I was the only one that got drunk, then it was meaningless. 

While I only had one drink, I wasn't sure if he actually drank anything......

Yukimura: Saito-san...... what do you think of this? [how is it]

Saito:  Ah, aah......

Although I felt dizzy, I felt comfortable, like I was soaking in a warm bath. 

Yukimura:.......By the way, Saito-san, you always, always...... act recklessly. Do you know how upset I get watching you...... No, you don't know.......

Saito: Even if you say that you are suffering/upset, as a member of the Shinsengumi, I must follow the Vice-Commander's orders....... 

Yukimura: Then, when you were fighting against Kazama [check for -san], your entire body was covered in blood...... At that time, I really thought that you were going to die....... 

Saito: I, I see....... Sorry.

Yukimura: Since coming to Edo, you've obviously been unwell, but you've been working so hard...... That's why I hoped you would be able to rest, and at least have a drink.

Saito: I understand.

Yukimura:....... Re-Really?

Saito:......Yes, I ended up drinking. But, you drinking in order to get me to drink feels odd....... For forcing yourself to drink to get me to drink, I apologize. [check game]

Yukimura: No......! I don't need you to apologize to me....... I just....... wish that you would cherish your body a bit more......

After that, Saito-san began drinking, and while I didn't know how much time passed...... 

I was hit by an intense feeling of drowsiness, and I couldn't even sit properly——

I fell onto the tatami like that. 

I felt so weak and couldn't get up. [reword later]

If I relax a bit more, I'll probably fall asleep like this. 

It was only out of a sense of duty that I wanted Saito-san to rest, and I then opened my mouth to ask a question.

Yukimura: Saito-san...... how are you......? Are you asleep......?

Saito:…………

I heard quiet breathing from the person sleeping beside me. 

Yukimura:......That's great......

Although this method was a bit rough [thesaurus?], Saito-san finally slept.

I felt relieved from accomplishing this and I couldn't help but say what was on my mind. [check game]

Yukimura: I.......

Yukiura: I've always been worried about you....... You drank the Ochimizu, and now have a body that loathes the sunlight, and it's my fault...... that you've become a rasetsu.

Saito:…………

Yukimura: But....... if you didn't drink the Ochimizu and become a rasetsu then....... I would no longer be here...... and I would never see you again....... 

Saito:…………

Yukimura: So even though it's painful...... even though I feel sorry...... and even though I feel sad...... I still want..... to thank you....... for protecting....... me.

…………

…………

Saito:……………………Are you asleep, Yukimura?

 Yukimua:…………

Saito:……Really……to think that you'd talk to yourself if the other person was asleep....... I don't regret drinking the Ochimizu in the slightest. I only made the right choice for my own honour, and to protect you.

Yukimua:…………

Saito:.......But you're worried about this and my body. However when I think about the Shinsengumi's situation, I cannot rest...... Nevertheless/Even so....... I'm very happy for you to have broken into my heart like this. Thank you, Yukimura.

Yukimua:…………

…………

……That night, I dreamt that Saito-san was saying something into my ear [reword later].

His voice, which sounded more gentle than usual, seemed to whisper [reword later].

It sounded so comfortable, so full of affection/care......

I slept like this until the next morning [reword later].

- The End -

*happy sigh*

Well, in kyoka-roku, during one of saito’s char perspectives, he does say that he might have been attracted to Chizuru since they talked in that alley… 

[equalseleventhirds]

i said i wouldn't write it but i did

vaguely a sequel to this, but far in the future and focused on jon (annabelle features briefly tho. she's fine. annabelle will always be fine in my fics.) with ofc the presupposition that they've failed in one world but kept trying, bcos i think that would be fun*!

*(by which i mean heartbreaking, i'm so sorry)

There are rules, to the traveling, or at least there seem to be. There are certainly questions to be asked and points to be made, about how many instances count as a definitive rule rather than simply a pattern. But Jon likes to think of them as rules. He's always preferred concrete answers, even if it turns out they're less the truth and more just a convenient way of conceptualizing things.

So he has rules.

First: the Fears always come through on the same day. October 18, 2018. Or, given the impact history has on calendars, the equivalent of it; he'd once spent months trying to correlate the forty-third moon of cycle 1852 with his calendar just to prove his point, but the math had all worked out.

(Which does indicate, at least to Jon, that yes, the Fears probably did originate in his home world, Georgie. He'll take his petty wins where he can get them. For as long as he can remember the discussion, and the people, he's proving wrong.)

Second, it is still his tapes that the Fears follow. For every apocalypse there has been a new catalyst, but none of these new rituals supersede his. Maybe it's a testament to the strength of the Web's original plan, or maybe it's just something about Jon himself. He knows what he thinks, but... well, there isn't enough proof just yet.

Third, in spite of endless attempts to trap them and stop them, Jon is always able to travel with the Fears. Perhaps they simply can't stop him, as the original antichrist he apparently is; dozens of apocalypses in dozens of different universes, and Jon can always feel his rightful place as ruler of that terrible fearscape calling to him. He hasn't taken it yet, but it's there, and the Eye cannot abandon its true pupil without his permission.

Or perhaps they simply don't care. Every attempt so far has led to the exact same result, after all: another world left behind, another death by starvation averted, another new feast for the Fears to sink their teeth into.

Fourth, he always passes out upon entering a new world.

It's kind of annoying.

---

It is slightly unusual for him to wake up warm, comfortable, and covered in a blanket, but Jon's not about to complain. It's nice. He doesn't get a lot of comfort, and he likes sleeping in a bed, especially since he's always eldritch-nightmare-free in a new world. For a limited time only, of course.

He's fairly certain he's inside; aside from the softness underneath and around him, the air is still and temperate, the light through his eyelids is artificial, and all he can hear is the faint whirring of appliances and the whispers of two muted voices.

"—complete stranger, definitely dangerous, looks like he's from hell—"

"Okay, fine, but I wasn't going to leave him, and anyway haven't you noticed he's a bit—"

"A bit what? Scarred? Bloodstained? Glowing eyes, because I don't think I need to remind you, Martin, his eyes were absolutely glowing when you found him—"

Martin. Now there's a name. Not an uncommon one, but... he thinks he knows that voice.

Or. Well. He might know both of those voices, actually, which is even more interesting than waking up in a bed.

Jon opens his eyes.

He's met himself before, is the thing. Not in every world, and not always particularly recognizable, but he's met himself. He's met versions of Martin, too, and eventually stopped going completely useless with heartbreak every time. The merest handful of times, he's found both of them in the same world, sometimes something almost like friends, but usually not.

The fact that they have their arms around each other, casual, comfortable, close, is both entirely unexpected and perfectly, wonderfully, terribly familiar. Jon briefly considers crying about it, but there are more important things to be doing. For example.

"The glowing eyes aren't actually that sinister. I mean, they are, but not for the reasons you're probably thinking."

Jon—the other Jon—jumps at the sound of his voice, then leans forward. Curiosity, of course; that hardly ever seems to change. "You—the glowing—who are you?"

"Jon," this new version of Martin scolds, and for just a moment he's back home, with his Martin, with that exasperated tone—but no, this isn't his Martin, and he's also leaning forward now, his voice turning gentle. Concerned. Coaxing, like he's a spooked animal, and Jon doesn't think his Martin has ever talked to him that way. "How are you feeling? We found you unconscious in the street."

He can feel Martin's curiosity too, pushing forward under his concern, just as questioning as Jon but too polite to outright say it yet. He has to cut this off, or he really will cry.

"Mm... no," he says. "Well, yes. But also." Good lord, he's confusing them. Par for the course, but he should probably try to be somewhat comprehensible.

He holds up a hand, extending one finger. "I am... fine. More or less. Trust me, I'm used to this, and this isn't even the worst way it's happened." Another finger joins the first. "My name, as I believe Martin has guessed but then dismissed, is Jonathan Sims. I am not you from the future, nor am I lying, nor am I crazy, because—" a third finger "—interdimensional travel is not only possible, it has happened, is happening, because of and along with terrible monstrosities I am determined to stop, and I have explained this too many times to too many people to have much patience for anyone being shocked and disbelieving, much less a version of myself doing so, so you can either get over it and move on or I can go elsewhere and do something useful."

"Excuse—"

"And," he continues, pushing himself up so he can sit and lean forward even more intensely than his counterpart, "I would actually rather not do that just yet, because I have an extremely pressing question for the two of you."

"Um," Martin says, and "What," says the other Jon.

"How," Jon asks, deepening his voice to exude solemn, ominous, and eldritchly important, "did you two start dating?"

---

It was so... normal. Apparently. Two people, mutual friends, a chance encounter. A prickly exterior ("He hated me," both of them had claimed), but without the insecurity of being Head Archivist and the fear of dread powers beyond his comprehension, their friends had helped him open up and—eventually—apologise. A budding friendship, and then a romance, and then...

It isn't a version of them Jon has seen anywhere else, in any of the worlds he's traveled to. Normal as it is, it's a highly improbably scenario, and certainly not the same as his relationship with his Martin had been. But it was, in an infinite number of worlds, still a possibility.

Jon isn't quite sure how he feels about that, knowing that some version of them could have fallen in love without the trauma, but that they hadn't managed it.

His hands aren't shaking, as he lights his cigarette. At least there's that.

"I quit, you know," his counterpart says from behind him. "Years ago. I'd forgotten about those until you asked."

"Well then, thank you for indulging me." He gestures, meaning the cigarette, meaning the bed, meaning his claims about reality, meaning his intrusive, gossipy questioning. Meaning everything. He's not sure it gets across.

The other Jon laughs, quietly, and moves to stand next to him. "I am my worst enabler."

"Oh, that's hardly true."

"Mm." They're silent together for a while, but Jon is restless (both of him), and eventually this reality's version opens his mouth to ask. "Do you—do you know why I—I don't want to say believed you, I'm still not sure I do, b-but, didn't throw you out immediately?"

"My myriad charms?" They both laugh at that.

"Jonathan Sims," he says, as if that explains anything.

Jon takes a drag of his cigarette, considering. He could probably Know, but... indulging himself. "What about me?"

"No, not you, or. You know. You. But your name. Jonathan Sims. I decided you weren't, weren't a deliberate lie to trick me, or a future version of myself, or a mind-reading monster—"

"Well—"

"—when you said your name, because none of those things would have said that." He smiles then and holds up a hand, and—oh—his ring glints. "I've been Jonathan Blackwood for a while now."

They'd told him married eventually, but he hadn't even thought about his name. He's certainly thinking about it now. "Jonathan Blackwood," he says, soft, to himself. And to himself. "That... that sounds good."

"It does, doesn't it."

Whatever they might have said next is lost as an incredibly loud engine roars nearby and a sleek black motorcycle pulls up in front of them. Jon sighs and takes one last drag of his cigarette as the rider removes her helmet.

"Been off finding yourself, then, Jon?" Annabelle asks.

"Oh, extremely funny, yes. Did you steal that?"

"It was a gift."

"Of course it was."

The other Jon is staring at them both, his eyes repeatedly drifting back to the web-covered hole in Annabelle's head. "Who—what is—is that a—"

"She's a spider monster," Jon supplies helpfully. "She came with me, although apparently she did not pass out in the street this time."

"Two streets over, I think. Pity, I would've loved a nice nap in a proper bed, but I did get this motorcycle out of it. Come on, Jon, you can mope on the way."

"I have not been moping—"

"Haven't you? You're not the one who deals with how maudlin you get every time you meet yourself—"

"Yes, fine, thank you, we can go." He stubs out the cigarette and pauses, looking at himself. "Uh. Tell Martin—well, goodbye, I guess. I'd say I hope we meet again, but if you're lucky we won't need to?"

"...sure."

"And I'm—I hope you—that is, I'll do my best—well." He sighs. "Things are about to get... dicey, for the world in general. But just, look out for each other, and we'll try to handle the rest."

"Jon, we should be going."

"Yes, all right, all right." He gives himself one last, probably not very reassuring smile, and climbs on behind Annabelle.

They do have work to do, after all.

[bts-hyperfixation]

De-Stress

I think I only ended up using the ‘Have you eaten’ prompt. Hope you like it!

Established relationship smut.

“Hello Jagiya, how was your day?!” Tae yells as he comes into your home. You wipe away the tears that had been falling freely in hopes to hide your stress from your boyfriend. It had been one thing after all week, finally ending with you breaking down in front of your laptop as one more assignment reminder hit your inbox. Working from home was never something you wanted to do, and now you were struggling to find a balance between work life and home life. The lines just continue to blend together.

“Hey baby, I didn’t think you were coming by today.” You hope your voice isn’t too shaky as you respond.

“We finished early, and I missed you. Have you eaten?” he asks as he comes into your office. It only takes a moment for him to catch on to your mood. He notices the puffy cheeks and red nose, and sits on the chair next to yours pulling you in to his arms. The motion makes you start crying again. He runs his fingers through your hair until your calm enough to talk to him. He listens intently as you tell him what you’ve been doing all week. It feels silly when you list everything out in the open. All little things that have piled up making a mountain out of a molehill. Complaining to an idol with the pressure of the world on his shoulder isn’t helping with the twisting sense of guilt you’re feeling for breaking like this in front of him.

It's not that you hide your feelings from Tae, but you do tend to water down the bad ones. He doesn’t need to be worrying about you when he is worrying about everyone else already, you like to think of yourself as a safe space for his emotions instead. But today you just couldn’t keep it in. You uncurl yourself slightly at meet his gaze. Instead of the tired/bored eyes you expected, you found nothing but love and concern in his expression.

“I’m sorry Tae, I didn’t mean to unload all of that on you.” He uses the cuff of his sweater to remove the rest of the tears from your face and kisses your forehead.

“Don’t apologise for being stressed Y/N you shoved have told me sooner, everything is easier with help you know.” He hugs you tighter for a moment before releasing you completely. Your stomach rumbles as you slide back into your own chair. “It’s time for food.” You reluctantly let him pull you up and out of the office. Instead of heading into the kitchen like you expect he leads you towards the back door where you find a picnic basket waiting for the two of you. He grins that beautifully boxy smile when he sees the confused look on your face.

“I planned us a picnic to surprise you, thought we could eat out under the sunset tonight.” You can’t help but smile back at him. The idea of relaxing in the waning sun sounded heavenly. You slide on some flip flops and follow Tae into the garden where he has already set up a blanket for you to sit on. There is an ice box of wine and candles waiting for you too.

“When did you have time to set this up? I’ve been home all day…” it’s honestly a little concerning you didn’t hear him pottering around in outside your house.

“I told you I finished early, and I tried really really hard to be quiet so you would be surprised… You are surprised right?” he gives you wide puppy dog eyes and you reward him with a chaste kiss.

“Very.”  You slowly drop his hand and make yourself comfortable on one side of the blanket. You lay back and allow the lingering warmth to run through you, dismissing all the stress that built up in your bones. Taehyung lights the candles and pours you a glass of rosé before diving into the basket to pull out all your favourite treats. Its not so much dinner as it is dessert, but you certainly aren’t one to complain. He lifts a chocolate covered strawberry to your lips. As you go to bite it, he pulls it away and eats it himself making you pout.

“That wasn’t nice tae.” You add fake sniffles to your act and flutter eyelashes. “I’m already sad do you really want to make me sadder?” You just get a mini brownie thrown at your forehead in response. You look at him with mock betrayal, launching the same brownie is his direction, except he expects it, catching it in his mouth instead. This of course turns into a competition. Bite sized pieces of food being thrown at each other from increasingly difficult angles. Donuts and cake bites are scattered across the poor picnic blanket by the time you give up, some icing stains that will likely never come out no matter how many times it’s washed.

The sun is long gone now, the candles were extinguished by the breeze a while ago. The air gets cold as the wind starts to pick up. Goosebumps appear all along your skin, it hadn’t occurred to you to grab a hoody on your way into the garden. As soon as he notices the hair standing on your arms, tae drags you across the dessert graveyard and into his lap wrapping you tightly in his warm embrace.

“I love you so much.” He whispers against your skin, kissing along the tops of your shoulders. You ease back into him, all of your early troubles forgotten as you sit with him. Nothing else seems important when you have him.

“I love you too Taehyung.” You tilt your face to kiss him properly. It starts as a peck, then two, then three, then he is lying back as you hold yourself over him, kissing him like you haven’t seen him in years. All thoughts of being cold forgotten as trail kisses along his jawline and his hands grab at your bum. He pushes you on to your back, taking the upper hand from you. Feverishly pressing kisses to your skin, worshipping every part of you he can reach like this. “Take me inside?” Taehyung is not a man that needs to be told twice, lifting you into his arms, picnic supplies abandoned in favour of your bedroom.

He places you gently on the end of your bed, allowing you to scoot yourself up to a more comfortable position. As soon as your head hits the pillow, he is back on top of you, fingers fiddling with the button on your jeans as his lips traced along your bare collarbone. His free hand pushes up at the hem of your shirt to expose your stomach. His mouth moves to kiss down to your belly button. You giggle as he hits a particularly sensitive spot. You lift your hips to help him wiggle your pants down. He makes quick work of the garment, your underwear following swiftly behind. He slowly kisses back up you legs teasing you with nips and licks every time he switches. You can feel the arousal pooling between your thighs.

Taehyung uses his pointer finger to run along your folds. The anticipation nearly kills you. Two fingers dip inside, forcing you to gasp at the sudden intrusion. He uses this as an excuse to press his lips back to yours, swallowing each sound you make as his fingers curl within you. Your back arches as he hits the most sensitive parts. A third finger finds its way inside, stretching you out, making sure you are ready for him. After almost a whole with Tae it still took a little while to get you ready to accommodate his size.

You whine when he pulls away from you, missing the warmth of his body covering yours. He kneels above you, tugging slowly at the top of his shirt, pulling it off so slowly it hurts. You reach out and trace the line up the middle of his abs. He creases as you tickle him, bringing and end to his attempt at a sexy strip tease. Instead the shirt is immediately thrown across the room and his hands are on you again. Taehyung keeps your hips pinned down, resting his weight on you as he rubs his clothed crotch gently across your clit.

“Please Tae, you’re such a tease.” You pout. All this does is make him grind a little harder, the soft material of his sweats starting to form a dark patch where his precum and your arousal were mixing.

“Please what angel? Tell me what you need, tell me everything.” A teasing lilt to his voice as he grinds down one last time before pulling himself back, fingers hooked into the waistband of his sweats.

“Make love to me Tae, love me so good I can’t think of anything or anyone besides you.” Any sign of joking leaves his expression. His sweats are kicked off quickly and he pulls you up to him. Both on your knees, as close as you can possibly be. Your shirt was tossed on to the pile with his. One of his hands cradles the back of your neck as the other squeezes you against him. Your hands take purchase on his bum, never one to miss out on the opportunity. It’s hard to breath and harder to separate, until you feel his cock throbbing against your stomach. You lie down, bringing him with you and straightening your legs in the process.

He takes the invitation gladly, lining himself up and pushing carefully. You allow yourself to adjust, more soft kisses are pressed along your throat as he waits for you to start moving against him. You tentatively wiggle your hips. Every time with him feels amazing. It really is true when they say real love makes all the difference. He knows exactly when he can start thrusting himself, meeting the movement of your hips with deep and slow thrusts of his own.

As he speeds up, he presses two fingers against your clit, rubbing erratic figure eights against the sensitive nerves. You can feel the pressure building in the bottom of you stomach as you wriggle more prompting Tae to hit the right spots inside of you. He takes every hint, driving faster and deeper each time. His face scrunched in concentration as he focused on your pleasure before his own. You caress his face and bring his eyes to meet yours, needing the eye contact to tip you over the edge. Almost as soon as his gorgeous eyes meet yours, you cum. You squeeze tightly around Taehyung, legs clinging around his waist as you ride out your high. It doesn’t take him long to follow behind you, releasing the most heavenly moan as he does. He thrust into you a few more times as he softens. You unwrap yourself from him, only to have him collapse beside you and fold you back into his embrace.

Masterlist

Kinktober fic survey

[spencers-renaissance]

Still Left With the River

Summary: Derek wakes up to find his boyfriend crying on the sofa. Cue the hurt, the comfort, and the fluff.

Tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, hurt!spencer, caretaker!derek, domesticity

Pairing: Morgan x Reid

Word Count: 1.6k

Read on AO3

"A man takes his sadness down to the river and throws it in the river, but he's still left with the river. A man takes his sadness and throws it away, but he's still left with his hands." - Richard Siken, Boot Theory 

After all these years, it’s almost like a little bit of Spencer has embedded itself in Derek: he feels when he’s happy, when he’s sad, when he’s scared so much more viscerally than he’s ever done with anybody before. It must be the reason that he stirs awake at 3am - an irregular occurrence for a deep sleeper like him - knowing even before he’s opened his eyes that something’s wrong. 

The other side of the bed is empty, but it’s still warm. He can see the light from the living room creeping in through the crack under the door, soft shuffling sounds accompanying the gentle glow and it doesn’t take long for the urgency of the situation to get him going. He pulls himself from the warm comfort of the bed and hurries out into the living room where he finds Spencer curled up in a tiny ball on the sofa with Clooney at his feet, a blanket pulled over both of them.

More importantly, he finds Spencer crying. 

“Baby?” he asks, concern obvious in his voice as he rushes over to the sofa and crouches down in front of it, brushing a lock of hair from his forehead. “What’s wrong?”

Spencer’s eyes stay screwed shut, and he curls himself into a tighter ball, even if he can’t stop himself sniffling as tears leak down his cheeks. 

“You don’t want to talk about it?” Derek asks, understanding his reaction. Spencer frequently goes non-verbal when he’s sad or overwhelmed with any emotion, really. It had frightened him at the start of their relationship, but after years of finding his boyfriend in these sorts of situations he’s learned the best ways to deal with them. 

Spencer shakes his head, curling even further in on himself.

“Okay, pretty boy, you don’t have to, you know that,” he says soothingly, caressing his cheek gently as he catches a wandering tear with his thumb. “Do you want a cuddle? Or maybe a hot chocolate, a snack, a glass of water?”

Spencer opens his eyes for the first time at that, blinking up at him with big, glossy brown eyes that make him melt every time he looks into them. He uncurls himself slightly and makes room on the sofa for Derek. 

“My baby wants a cuddle?” he asks warmly, following orders and getting situated on the couch so that Spencer is wedged in between him and the back of the sofa, resting his head on Derek’s shoulder as he allows an arm to snake around his waist and hold him closely. “Everything’s gonna be okay, Spencer. I’m right here.” 

They lie like that for a while, Spencer still crying softly, this time into his boyfriend’s shoulder while Derek just cuddles him as close as possible, drawing patterns lightly with his finger over his face and arms and hands in a way that he knows calms Spencer down. He knows better than to try and force him to talk, he knows that he’ll calm down in time, especially with close physical contact as reassurance, and he’ll speak to Derek when he’s ready. 

It’s one of those moments that Derek could not have imagined happening six or seven years ago. His twenties and early thirties had been defined by one night stands, short flings, and commitment issues. It had taken until he was thirty-two to come to terms with the fact that he liked men, too, and he never would have guessed that the person he actually settled down with would be Spencer.

Domesticity looks good on him, everyone always says, cooing and teasing when he kisses Spencer on the forehead before leaving, or declines an invitation out in favour of watching a nerdy documentary, eating takeout and having a cuddle on the sofa. And he’d have to agree. Settling down with the love of his life was one of the most emotionally thrilling experiences he’s ever had. He didn’t know he could ever love someone so much.

Eventually, Spencer’s soft cries subdue slightly, and he stirs a little in Derek’s hold, nestling his face further into his shoulder.

“You alright there, pretty boy?” he smiles, running a hand through his curls. 

“You smell nice,” he admits, slinging his arm around Derek’s middle, cuddling him back properly. 

“That’s very kind of you, baby,” he chuckles. “How are you doing?”

“Better,” Spencer says, voice a little muffled by the t-shirt Derek had thrown on before coming into the living room. “Thank you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You have nothing to thank me for,” he scoffs, twirling a curl around his finger and tugging at it affectionately. 

Spencer just hums, clearly sleepy from the tears and the late night. 

“Do you want to talk about it, baby boy?” Derek murmurs, not wanting to pressure him. 

Spencer sighs heavily, extracting his head from his boyfriend’s shoulder. “I woke up feeling really sad,” he whispers, making Derek smile slightly in spite of the situation. Spencer always finds it easier to talk about emotions or heavier topics if he whispers and it’s one of Derek’s favourite quirks of his, “and I couldn’t shake it. I don’t know why. Sometimes all the bad thoughts build up and then they unleash themselves all at once. Like I never think about my dad or my childhood really, but then on a night like this I can’t stop thinking about it and I don’t know why.” 

Derek knows this, of course. Spencer’s had many of these nights over the years, but he always likes to explain it, to put his emotions into words, into a medium he can process them in, so he listens diligently as his boyfriend works it over in his mind.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he says, running his hand comfortingly up and down Spencer’s side. “You should have woken me up, I would’ve come and cuddled you from the start.”

“Sorry,” Spencer says in a small voice. 

“Hey, you don’t need to apologise for a thing, alright?” Derek says. “I’m just saying that in the future, you can always wake me straight away, even if I do usually wake up pretty quickly. I need to be here for my boy if he’s sad, don’t I?”

Spencer blushes a little at that, still flattered and overwhelmed by the intensity of Derek’s love even if it’s been lavished on him for over three years now. “Thank you, Derek,” he whispers, placing an endearing kiss to his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Derek smiles gently. “Now, how about we get you a hot chocolate and a slice of toast, maybe some paracetamol for the inevitable post-cry headache and get you back to bed. We can leave a light on and we’ll put a TV show on in the background for some mindless noise, okay?”

Years of experience had cultivated a very strict aftercare routine for nights like these. Spencer’s far too overwhelmed with emotion and thoughts to go to sleep immediately after an experience like this no matter how sleepy he is, so familiarity and distraction are the best routes to getting him back to dreamland. 

They drink their hot chocolates on the sofa together while Derek distracts him with pointless stories from his college days that Spencer could probably tell with better accuracy than him, but tonight he appreciates the slightly monotonous conversation, the rhythm of it soothing him, bringing him down from the emotional rollercoaster he’s just been on.

He doesn’t even complain when Derek butters a slice of toast for him, knowing that it will be futile, but he ends up enjoying it anyway, the warmth of the hot chocolate and toast sitting nicely in his belly, soothing him from the inside. 

Derek ushers him around to get them ready for bed again, forcing him to brush his teeth before insisting on a kiss. “Minty,” he grins.

“Well, I should hope so,” Spencer smiles back, quirking an eyebrow. 

“Come on, you,” Derek says, rolling his eyes as he leads him back to the bedroom with a warm, firm hand in his. 

“Wait, Derek,” Spencer protests as Derek tries to get him back in bed, looking suddenly shy again. “Can I wear one of your shirts to bed?”

“Of course, baby boy,” Derek says gently, sensing that teasing would not be appreciated right now. “You know I’d never say no to such a polite request from such a beautiful boy.” 

“I just… I like the smell, it’s comforting and I want extra Derek tonight,” he says, a little bashfully, despite feeling reassured by his boyfriend’s reaction.

Derek’s heart melts at that as he rustles through his drawer to find the most comfortable t-shirt - only the best for his boy - and like he’s done so many times over the last three years, he wonders what on earth he did to get the karma that landed such a wonderful person right in his lap. 

“I understand, Spencer, it’s all good,” he says softly as he hands it over watching him slip out of his old PJ top and into Derek’s oversized shirt. “You look beautiful.” 

Spencer flushes at the compliment, nestling himself into Derek’s body as he wraps him in a tight hug, pressing his face into his neck as he always does in a cuddle like this one. “Love you so much,” he murmurs.

“Oh, Spencer,” he says. “I love you even more.”

“Not possible,” he smiles, pulling away and kissing him gently before turning to climb under the covers. 

“Oh, baby you have no idea,” Derek teases, but really he knows they both love each other astronomical amounts, there’s no genuine competition at all. 

He pulls Spencer against his chest while he switches on the bedside lamp and the TV, finding a sitcom and turning it on low volume so Spencer won’t be tempted to comment on it. “You try and relax now, sweetheart. Sleep will come, and I’ll be right here.”

“Love you,” Spencer mumbles for the third time that night. 

“I love you too, gorgeous boy,” Derek murmurs back, but he’s not sure Spencer’s awake long enough to hear him.

@strippersenseii @criminalmindsvibez

[whattheheehaw]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx

In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.

I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.

My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.

Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 

Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.

Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:

Ambassador Katara

An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)

A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)

Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen

A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6

S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)

Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨

Ursa is found

Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together

ZK wedding happens in the FN

After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.

My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.

For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.

There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.

This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.

This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".

And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.

The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.

*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.

**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.

***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.