#I’m just sad I’m missing all the hidden Mis-es

[secretmellowblog]

One thing Im sad I miss because I’m reading Les Mis in English is the repeated use of the word “misérables.” After stealing from Petit Gervais in the Hapgood translation of Les Mis, Valjean says “I am a wretch!” In the original French, he says “je suis un misérable!”

So some things get lost in translation— the fact that Valjean is using the Important Significant Title Word, the fact that “misérable” can mean wretch and miserable and a lower class outcast who does not belong within society….. there’s just nuance that gets lost.

[queerchoicesblog]

Marlinspikes (ILB, Danni x F!MC)

This is my last February prompts fanfic and...I warn you that it’s pretty ANGSTY/SAD (to say the least xD). Just so you know, the inspiration for this one came from Castle of Glass by Linkin Park (quoted below).

Requested by @darley1101, this fanfic takes place two months after the Pine Springs flood. Danni notices that Harper (F!MC) is still hurting badly for the events and the secrets they uncovered and encourages her to open up with her. Warning: this is pro-Josephine even if, as you’ll see yourselves, it’s a tough call for Harper. Also, special thanks to @brightpinkpeppercorn: our ILB conversations were essential for this fic...and I give you full credit for the “sin sentence”!

Prompt: “Let me love you”

Word Count: 1994

Perma tag: @brightpinkpeppercorn @psychopathdreamer21 @abunchofbadchoices @bbaba-yagaa @silverhawkenzie @begging-for-kamilah @melodyofgraves @bhavf 

Tags: @esteladannishreyakamilah 

Warning: occurrences of bad words

________________________

Bring me home in a blinding dream

Through the secrets that I have seen

Wash the sorrow from off my skin

And show me how to be whole again

Harper had been unusually quiet since she was discharged from the hospital after the flood. Sure, she had every reason to be shaken but it'd been almost two months now and she didn't seem to make any progress. She hanged out with the group, celebrated Parker's promotion to Chief of Police, went on dates but every now and then you could still see her gaze sadden and wander into the distance. She was there but at the same time, she was far away. Danni noticed and decided to investigate. So here she was, knocking on Harper's grandpa house with a box of food in her hands. She was concerned: Harper, well they all went through a bunch of traumatic experiences lately but Harper was Josephine's granddaughter and the whole thing really took a toll on her. Understandably, of course. Danni wasn't under no false illusion to see her finally happy but she would have loved to see her a little less haunted than she was -Danni could tell - beneath her tough, jokester appearance. And, on top of that, it was no mystery that she would have come back to Hartfeld in a couple of weeks. The mere thought of it made the girl frown. She didn't have to wait long, When Harper opened the door, the young woman couldn't help but notice the dark circles around her eyes badly hidden with concealer. Danni put on the brightest smile she could manage and raised the box. "Special taquitos delivery for Miss Vance" she beamed.

Harper's tense jaws relaxed visibly. "Well well aren't you the most adorable girl on earth?" the Vance girl said, pulling her in a quick hug and brushing her lips against hers. "Thank you so much, Danni. Please come in and make yourself at home: mi casa es tu casa, that's how you say, right?" Danni walked in and made her way to the kitchen. Harper followed her and lazily leaned on the threshold. "Will you stay for dinner? Elliott is out with Grandpa, they went to pay a visit Tom and I think they won't be back soon...so we have the place for ourselves" The last line was supposed to be flirty but the smile on Harper's smile didn't reach the eyes. Danni put down the box on the table and asked: "Depends, do you want me to stay?" Harper wrapped her arms around herself. "I...I could use some company. Especially your company" Danni's heart tightened seeing the infamous Harper Vance who won't turn down a tumble so vulnerable. She felt that if she had hugged her a bit too tightly at that very moment, she would have crumbled to pieces between her arms. "Then I'll stay. Let me heat them a little, they're tastier that way. Why don't you dress the table in the meantime?" The other girl nodded and mechanically gathered a tablecloth, plates, forks and knives. Then she opened the fridge. "Hey it's your lucky day, beers are on the house" she announced picking up two bottles. "Sounds like I won the lottery" Danni winked, heating the pan. Then, as her girl handed her one the bottles she opened, she spoke again: "It's none of my business but why didn't you go with Elliott and your abuelo? I mean Tom's is a friend of yours too" Harper took a gulp of her drink. "Yeah but Grandpa wants to ask him to repair his boat and frankly, I'm sick and tired of boat talks and of water in general." "Preach to that" Danni toasted. "And...I just needed some alone time. You...you are welcome to stay though, obviously" "Alone time you said...something's troubling you, isn’t it? I mean, more than usual. You have a lot to process..." "No, I just...I just wanted to relax at home" "You sure?" "Yep! Are your legendary taquitos ready? They smell delicious!" When the food was ready, the sat down and Danni filled Harper in on the latest events in town, her new photojournalist work at ClickIt, how she got to have a Skype chat with Leah Myers...anything to keep the other girl’s mind busy. However, she was taking a sip of her beer when it happened again. Harper's slowly diverted her eyes and looked out of the window. Her gaze wandered off into the horizon and she went quiet. She had barely touched any food. "I messed up this time? I mean, my taquitos" Danni asked tentatively, hoping to bring her back. Harper shivered and her blue eyes fell on her again. She looked like someone who woke up from troubled dreams. "Sorry, I spaced out" she said, smiling grimly to herself. "Hey Harper, are you sure you're okay?" "Yes, I'm...I guess I'm less hungry than I thought" "Forget my tacos, talk to me" Danni pronounced it as if it was a prayer. "You know, at least I hope you know that you can come to me for anything. I know that something is troubling you, I can tell even if you're trying to hide it. Talk to me, let me help you" Harper looked her in the eyes for a while as if pondering her words. Then she hung her head in defeat. "I don't know what to do, Danni. And I...I wish my mom was here cause she always knew the right thing to do, unlike me" Her voice cracked and she grabbed her head, covering her face to Danni. The photojournalist immediately dashed towards her and squatted down beside her, gently stroking the girl's back. "Harper, it's okay, I'm here" "Nothing is okay Danni! Nothing" Harper muffled against her own hands. "Hey, move those hands aside, look at me" A sob escaped Harper as she started shivering again underneath Danni's palm. The former barista pulled her a bit closer, always stroking her back reassuringly, and gently removed Harper's hands from her wet cheeks with her free hand. "You have every right to be upset after all that happened, let it all out, I'm not going anywhere"  she said softly, cupping one of her cheeks. "I thought I was strong, Danni but this, this is so much to process, too much" "You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, sweetheart! You always kept your cool and brought us together even when you were scared too: that's strength in my book" Danni gave her a sympathetic smile "You miss your parents, yes?" Harper's eyes welled with new tears. "Yes and the scene, blood everywhere, their bodies laying on the ground...I still replay the scene in my head sometimes, it's brutal" "I'm telling you what to do: next time it happens, you pick up your phone and call me, deal?" Danni squeezed her shoulder affectionately. "I...I have no one to talk about that" Harper admitted "Elliott has nightmares too and I don't want to upset him even more. When we found them it was hard enough" "What about Grandpa?" A flash of anger gleamed in her eyes. "Grandpa got them both killed! I would never talk about that with him: he would give me pathetic puppy dog eyes when he was the one who sold them! He told those fucking pricks and now mom and dad are gone. They literally laid on the ground in their own blood...because of him!" "Okay okay, sorry Harper!" Danni tried to calm her down before speaking again. "You hold a grudge to your abuelo, don't you?" Harper shattered her jaw and nodded, as warm tears streamed down her face. "I can hardly look at him...I try to play along for Scooter's sake but the truth is I think I hate him or something like that. I don't think I will ever forgive him for what he did to my mom, my dad and Josephine" "But Josephine almost killed us all, almost killed even you..." Harper looked fiercely into Danni's eyes. "She was betrayed by the man she loved and who made a vow to protect her and their daughter, Danni! He knew who those assholes of the Society were and yet he told them everything and didn't even try to save Josephine. She did no harm to anyone, she knew the dangers of the Power and carefully avoided them but then Grandpa handed her to those bastards. They threatened him to hurt their daughter instead, mom, because obviously he told them about her too and he helped them torturing grandma. She told me the whole story, Danni...it was awful: he handed Astrid the marlinspike that bitch stabbed into my grandmother's heart. They tortured her and forced to turn into the monster we all saw. But she was right..." "Innocent people died, you could have died...while your grandpa was maybe weak but-" "Weren't Josephine, mom and dad innocent too? But they died because of him! He is a coward and that was his sin" Harper cried "He ruined everything, Danni..we could have been a happy family, we could have been happy and safe if they were all here" Danni sat on Harper's lap and wrapped her in the tightest hug, gently cradling her girl as she cried herself out on her shoulder. After a few minutes, the Vance girl spoke again, her voice rough and tired. "It's so hard to pretend but I want Elliott to heal and be happy. I just...I will never forgive Grandpa and I'm on alert every time they are together, like if there are still cultists out there and they find them will Grandpa protect him or hand him to those pricks only because they yell louder? Elliott is all I have left...”

Danni stroke her cheek, wiping away a tear with her thumb.

“Can I speak now, Harper?” 

The other girl nodded.

“Harper, you don’t have to go through that alone. This pain you feel now-”

“This pain is all I have left of them. Of my family” Harper grimaced “But you’re right Danni...Grandma Josephine killed so many innocents blinded by her wrath. I can’t change that. The people here will always remember her because of that: she will always be the Lake Monster to them, to anyone...maybe I should leave this place after all”

“Stop it, Harper! If...if you leave this godforsaken town” - the mere thought of it made Danni frown- “you will do it because you want to: on your terms, not like a fugitive or something like that! You can’t feel guilty for all those deaths, you have nothing to do with them. You may be Josephine’s granddaughter but you’re not her. She would be proud of the woman you are now, for what it’s worth"

Harper winced, diverting her eyes.

“I know that...I rationally know that, Danni...I just” her voice cracked “I just feel like that marlinspike they pushed into her chest, the one I used to let her go...I just feel it burning in my chest too all the time as if I have no air left to breathe-”

“Then let me help you remove that marlinspike. I cannot assure it won’t hurt, but I will be at your side every step of the way. I will hold your hand and wipe away your tears. I will steal an oxygen mask from the hospital if need be! But please, Harper...let me love you, let me help you heal. We can do this together” 

Danni pronounced the last words, resting her forehead over Harper’s. Seeing the girl she fell for so broken inside was killing her. They both kept quiet for a few minutes, cherishing the moment.

“Will...will you show me how to be whole again, Danni?” Harper asked tentatively as she parted to show the weak smile on her face to the other girl.

“Of course, I will show you how to be whole again, H.” Danni confirmed before placing a tender kiss on Harper’s lips.

Then she added, gesturing at the girl’s plate:

“I believe you can get started taking a bite of those tacos. We will write a full list of survival tips later, okay?” 

[talesofealdancynedom]

Fama and Kent in the enchanted tree-house; The amount of colour correction nearly killed me.

30. Finding Fama Fauxbit (chapter 5 - The Friend 5/5) part 7. Stories of Magic Forests

none

  Fama had never been seen so many people up close. Pepperidge Academy, though small, seemed big. She had never seen a marble castle, nor such strange technology. Why this school was fascinating. Fama had never been so respectfully treated by commoners, nor wizards alike. Fama realized why Kent may have come here; It was accepting, alive, and welcoming.

Nyiva, on the other hand, had disappeared into the brush. All monkey children do this, preferring to be hidden over seen. Thus, Fama was alone, but somehow not worried. This fortress felt old and sturdy. It exuded safety, and curiosity. There is no doubt that Nyiva would find a nice new home here. Though, Fama did wish Nyiva stayed by her side a little longer. She was desperately uncomfortable, as this place became unnerving.

 Fama didn’t know modern Anglian, but could read the Ealden tongues. Therefore, allowing her get the gist of people’s words. At reception, sat a Hispanian boy, with bright orange robes, hair and eyes; With a faux expression of joy.

“I’m looking for Kent Summorhind. Th Monkey King said he’d be here.” Fama asked, in Ealden Anglian. The receptionist wizard just smiled silently, due to the language barrier.

“Hola; Mi nombre es Tourus Mothwing. No, hablo ingles….” He said, with a chime. They made uncomfortable eye contact, until the principal Dominique entered with Saianne.

“Sorry about that.” Dominique said, looking over Fama. The fact she was a mage of the Monkey Kingdom, straight from the South Central, was surprising.

“Saianne, you speak Elden Anglian as a mage, right? Would you be able to help this woman, while it’s still lunch?” Dominque asked. Saianne, nervous beyond all belief, nodded subtly, while everyone leaved.

 Saianne, seeing Fama, immediately knew who she was; The woman Kent was talking about, regarding unrequited love.

“Are you Kent’s girlfriend?” Saianne timidly inquired.

“What’s a girlfriend? Do you mean a feminine companion? I identify as both, but I think that’s not what you’re asking.”

“I’m cursed too; I enchant the waters with malice, subconsciously. Don’t worry I’m medicated. Kent rescued me, after meeting you; I’m Saianne by the way. I also have a true love, and I think you’re a nice pair. But are you actually using him to fulfill a duty, or do you really love him back?” Saianne rambled, slowly shrinking her voice. Fama looked at Saianne without an expression, unsure what to say.

“Yes.” Fama responded. Saianne became silent, and guided Fama to the gym. Kent ate lunch alone in there; For a reason not even he knew. Saianne had to cough to get his attention.

“Um, you two should talk.” Saianne murmured, before slinking off. Fama and Kent stared at each other, with a dazing sense of sadness and longing.

 At first, Kent tried to get away, heading for the lockers; But Fama followed calmly, with steady. No maze of showers, lockers, bathroom stalls, and weird bolted doors, would deter her.

“Why did you leave me?” Fama asked. Her voice creaked as if crying.

“Because I got a job; In a magic forest, and where people like me, for who I am, in spite of my flaws. I am still a failed paladin, and a tool, but at least now I get paid. With money and smiles, by the way.” Kent called, walking down the hall, now heading to the dormitory; Where he hoped locked doors would keep her away.

He didn’t want to be to roped in, but his still beating heart nagged. Kent still wished to listen to her. Yet, Kent forgot the black and white veined marbles of the school, resonated with magic, and thus mages could walk through it; Fama was still on his tail.

“I wasn’t using you; It just turned out that way. It’s been a little over a week, and I miss you. I have no one. The fondness of beasts, is nothing compared to human love.” Fama said. “Kent, talk to me! You don’t even want to be friends anymore?” she further pleaded. Then Fama began looking around.

“There is a gate in this fine holt! You can keep your job, if you wish; and still come home. Instead of living in such odd sleeping arrangements.” Fama suggested. They walked through hi dorm’s entrance. Kent’s room was small, and furnished with old carved ebony features. Lavished in jewel-tones, of velveteen transmuted fabrics.

“This is a dormitory, for all staff and students. For those who work and study far form home,” Kent said. “I’m not ready for bargaining, Fama. Now, leave me alone. Go back to being the guardian of the Monkey King’s gate. Before you die by wizard, or worse heartbreak. You’re so far from home, and there are lots of people in this world. Find another man, you can use to fill my niche; I refuse to be a pawn in anymore plans.” Kent cursed.

“But I don’t want to wait; I want your hand in mine.” Fama said. Kent gave a glare. Fama, in tears, ran off, embarrassed and betrayed; She believed stronger then this. If Kent was honest with himself, seeing his words hurt her, did bring him much shame. Humiliation is one thing, then there’s regret and pain.

 Kent spent the next eighteen hours in bed; Not even leaving his dorm room to eat. It was a weekend, so he had no dates to meet. He contemplated whether or not he should train independently, but somehow Kent always ended back in his bed. None of the other relationships he’d ever had, made him feel like he was valued, or wanted. Even this job seemed to be but a paycheck; No one seemed to notice his absence. Kent was trapped in a solemn spiral, and forgot Fama was distraught as well. She was telling herself she didn’t need people; As a creepy jungle dwelling child. Her friends were of fairy and tree alike. Her denial said she didn’t need the love of another human. A lie from within, of which they both shared.

 At the beginning of the week, Kent managed to get out of bed, and put on his fairy robes. All teachers wore them, Fairy King made or not, as law demanded all magic users wear such dress; To show they knew the enchanted. No longer armor or heirlooms, such robes were reduced to costumes. But Kent’s wee new, and brought much sarrow. He was wearing a tacky mess in the mirror. I do look like a banana, and I hate this colour, Kent thought. Like a wilting lily, Kent made burnt toast, and left to teach early. Kent arrived on the empty pitch, to an audience of mist.

“Kent? Are you ok? My love Ouroboros mentioned you didn’t leave your dorm all weekend.” Saianne said, from behind Kent. He turned to see her, carrying all she owned. As a charmer, she was not his student, but she always arrived at dawn.

“What are you doing here?”

“I saw you walk to the field from the courtyard; I was just dropped off from treatment.”

“Oh. So, I was in my room all weekend; I hadn’t noticed.” Kent murmured. Saianne held out her hands for a hug.

“I tried to kill you.” Kent said, stepping back.

“I almost killed you too, in a pycnotic mystic break. We’re even. Are you sure you don’t want an embrace?” Saianne retorted, still holding out her hands. Kent reluctantly gave in.

“As a teacher, my personal life should not be discussed.”

“That wasn’t an excuse earlier, and now I’m invested. Besides, it makes you more relatable, and you’re my favourite teacher.” Saianne whispered, managing to sweetly smile. Kent as surprised to finally see her happy.

“Well, after you left, I may have rejected Fama’s compromise. Then she left to Veya, and I feel regret.” Kent confessed. “Looking back on it, I was a bit harsh; Lashing out at her, and making assumptions. I still love her, even if she doesn’t truly return my affection. It almost felt like a happy ending.”

“What was the compromise?” Saianne responded.

“That I live with her in Veya, and use the Shadow Veil to come back here for work; Even if we’re just friends. That was really nice of her. To think that it would have never happened, or been possible if Ouroboros hadn’t made me a mage. I guess this time I should thank you, for the adventure, and advice.”

“Glad to help.” Saianne smiled. “But if I may put in another word; As a born mage more acquainted with old magic, I must warn you of true love spells. All magic isn’t centered around romance and lust. I heard form a seer, of meader mages who heal with compassionate familial love. Why do you care what type of love it is, if you’re still happy to have it?” Saianne asked. Then the bell rang, and she waved goodbye. Saianne walked off before Kent could reply. He spent the whole class absent minded, while he pondered loving Fama, in spite of being betrothed by against his will. Or, was it even against his will? Kent questioned.

 The next weekends mourn, Kent gathered some things; He walked to Tiberius Gate, on mission. Everyone was still asleep, as he snuck within its walls. He went through the tower, and down the path of the Monkey King’s statue; The door to her kingdom. In the shadow, even the Monkey King slept with her Queen, on a ledge bedded with lotus leaves. Quietly, Kent went through the Monkey Gate, and into the Day Veil, arriving at the bottom of a pit. There was a light rain, dripping in. The hole smelled of earth, as water pooled up to his ankles. Kent had a bit of trouble ascending, but his fairy robes kept him clean. Kent made his way past the vanara, sleeping about the temple, similarly to their royal mother and father. A few palms to the west, was the tree-house; Of which an aroma of fresh spiced flatbread wafted. It only now occurred to Kent, that the small cooking pot in the tree was a hazard.

 Fama sat eating fresh manakeesh, by herself, still sleepy; Not yet awake enough for her mind to race. The fresh ground cardamom coffee still settling. Then she felt the rungs and ladders wiggle outside her window; Fama shrugged it off, assuming it was a jué yuán.

“I’m not sharing.” Fama yelled.

“Not even with me?!” Kent chimed, from the shutter. Fama froze, with her mouth full of bread, and not fully dressed. She rushed chewing her food to talk, and leapt to give Kent a hug.

“I decided I don’t care if you love me back, because all forms of love are good. Lies and hex aside. Thus, I love this jungle and you, no matter what your linage says. I agree to be with you, and use the gates to maintain this life. Screw the Monkey King enchanting your daughters, to nobly protect this forest. I’m going to be miserable knowing I am abandoning you. I am indeed a fool.” Kent confessed. Fama pulled him in closer.

“You’re right, you’re stupid,” Fama teared. “For a detective, you sure failed to notice our love is true. So insecure, you forget some things aren’t up to spells.” She continued. Kent hugged her fondly, and laughed seeing he was the joke; But this time, He was able to laugh warmly about it.

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