#I’m now going to spend 30 minutes tracking down all the fish in the photos

[russilton]

George and fish post George and fish post george and fish post George-

[quicksiluers]

For the ship prompt, 30 and Grant/Julia or Grant/Sherman 'cause tourist Grant has been my headcanon ever since i read his memoirs

ok so this one....I had to stop writing at some point and I apologize for where I left it because if I didn't stop, I was never going to. I may continue this if people like it! And it's got a mix of both in there, cause you know I love them both :) But I'm thinking of going back later to add...if people like it enough, maybe lol

there should really be called "can Ali write under 1,000 word challenge?" and have me fail them all because each one has been way too long

“So they started thinking about making the part back in the 1860s because they thought of having something like New York City had with Central Park. Which, for my money, I think the Golden Gate Park is far superior. I mean, Central Park is great but this right here? It’s amazing. Does Central Park have a Japanese tea garden in it? I don’t think so. Anyway, so they really got into work on it around 1870…”

Grant nodded his head along, but his mind zoned out as he walked with the energetic redhead beside him. His enthusiasm was special, that Grant couldn’t knock him for.

Julia had planned to meet up with a friend of hers for most of the day and being the type of person not to sit around and do nothing, he had decided he would explore the city. San Francisco had always been a place he wanted to visit but never got the chance. They had already hit up a few of the more touristy parts, which while he enjoyed, didn’t really give him the feeling he was looking for from the city.

Julia told him to see if he could find a local to help him. Grant thought it odd, asking a stranger out of the blue to point him in the right direction, but he told his fiancé he would keep it in mind.

A hand grabbing his shoulder brought him out his musings, “Let me show you the Japanese tea Garden, it’s really incredible. It started as a village and a tea garden when they had the World’s Fair back in 1894. After the fair, they sold it off to the city who then hired this guy Makoto Hagiwara to take care of the garden. He was one of the main guys to be around to see it turn into what it is now and brought all kinds of Japanese animals for people to see.”

Grant hadn’t been sure what drove him to ask the redhead, Sherman?, for assistance. He had noticed him when he was crossing the street toward the park. It was hard to miss the red hair. Grant had been looking down at his map, trying to pinpoint the best spot to start when he passed the lanky stranger by. That was when he heard footsteps behind him and turned around, meeting the man’s brown eyes.

Now he found himself being pulled along the sidewalk, the ginger chatting away nonstop. How could he talk so much, so fast? The amount of information he was spewing out was dizzying.

“Hopefully the tea house isn’t too busy, it’s early enough in the morning where we should be able to get in,” Sherman explained happily, hand still gripping Grant’s shoulder. He tried to slip his way out of it but it was no use. Heat crawled onto his cheeks. Julia was the only person that was really able to pull him along like this. Their touch almost felt the same, though Sherman’s was stronger, firmer, and…

What are you even thinking?

“Hey, is the sun getting to you?” Grant felt pressure on his forehead, Sherman’s brown eyes staring down at him with concern. Unconsciously, he leaned into the touch, the cool feeling of it soothing him. His skin felt like it was on fire “You’re pretty red, do you want to sit?”

“Uh…,” Grant pulled back quickly, silently cursing to himself. Why had he done that? He coughed into his hand, trying to cover up his burning face, “N-no it’s fine, I just…”

“You’re not used to the heat,” Sherman injected, smiling proudly as if he figured it out, “Totally understandable. You said you were from Illinois right? That’s a different type of heat.”

“Sure…,” the word was drawn out, Grant nodding after a moment. That made sense, it seemed like the taller man already bought into it, “Yes, I guess that makes the most sense…”

“Well, we can get something at the tea house. Which is right over here, I think you’re really going to like it.”

Walking along the path, he tried to keep a good amount of space between them but it was too crowded for that. He felt his arm brush along the redhead’s a few times, the other man seemingly oblivious as he talked on and on about something else. At this point, Grant couldn’t keep track. Everything was too mixed up for him to focus. Why did he feel so weird? It was like butterflies in his stomach, which in itself sounded horrifying. He’d only ever felt like this around Julia and that was a whole other level. He couldn’t have…whatever was going on when he and Julia were engaged! What would she think?

All he needed was an excuse to get away from Sherman. That was it, simple as that. He’d go back to the hotel, tell Julia he hadn’t been feeling well, and just decided to hang out inside for the day. The idea of lying to her filled him with dread. He couldn’t do that, she would know in a second it was something else. Julia always had a way of knowing.

The whole situation left him confused and uncomfortable. None of it was Sherman’s fault, he was just being helpful. And he seemed concerned when he thought Grant wasn’t feeling well. It was Grant’s fault for making the whole situation seem weird.

Walking through the garden brought him a small sense of calm. The pathway was less crowded, allowing them to explore around. Sherman pointed out the different structures and described how they were built, how much time it took, and what parts of Japan they were popular from. Grant was absorbed into his descriptions, asking questions along the way that the ginger seemed to have every answer to. The uncomfortable feeling disappeared as they walked, Sherman pulling him over towards the pond and pointing out each of the fish that peacefully swam around.

“You seem like you know a lot,” Grant teased, crouching down to have a closer look at the fish. All the different colors caught his attention. He pulled out his phone, taking a quick look back at the suddenly quiet tour guide.

Sherman had been staring down at something but had turned his head quickly away. “Well, I do spend a lot of time around here,” he stuttered briefly, catching Grant’s attention. That was the first time he’d done that today, “I have a brother who brings his kids into the city a lot and they’re always asking questions.”

Taking a few photos, Grant stood back up with a small smile, “Well, that’s nice. I’m sure they love learning all about it.”

As they walked up to the tea house, Sherman talking a mile a minute again, Grant wondered what had made the redhead so quiet before. Had something caught his eye and made him shut up for a moment? That seemed out of the question.

Had he been looking at him?

What a ridiculous thought. Grant felt his cheeks heat up again, pushing away the notion.

God, why was he acting like this today? Couldn’t someone just be nice without anything behind it?

The tea house was special. They had gotten there at the perfect time, able to sit down a try out a few of the food options that Sherman liked the best. He also recommended the Sencha, which was a type of green tea that Grant particularly enjoyed. Though the weather was a bit warm, the tea brought with it a soothing sensation that he was in desperate need of.

Making a note of coming back, Grant pulled out his phone to take a quick photo for Julia. He tried to sit back a bit to get the photo and Sherman attempted to lean out of the shot, “No, it’s fine,” Grant reassured, waving his hand a bit, “You can stay in the photo.”

His red hair contrasted nicely with the greenery around them. The lighting was perfect too. It wouldn’t hurt to have one little thing to remember Sherman by.

Not odd at all.

They continued their journey through the park, Grant taking a particular interest when they were passing the pol field. A few horses were galloping around, seemingly warming up before a match was going to begin.

“Do you play?” Sherman asked, picking up on Grant’s flickering gaze as they slowly walked by.

“No, my father wanted me to but,” he paused, mind wandering off before he reeling it back in. No use in revisiting that, “I stuck with other equestrian sports.”

He felt Sherman’s eyes on him, that awkward silence falling over them. Maybe he didn’t mind the redhead’s constant talking

Eventually, they found themselves at the end of the park, crossing the street to walk closer to the beach. The sky was a perfect blue, with a few clouds peppering the sky. Waves rolled over naturally, a few kids crying out in glee as they rushed into the water, and others lounging on the beach sand without a care in the world.

“If we talked along the road here, we could go see the Golden Gate Bridge,” Grant felt Sherman’s hand press into his back lightly, turning him in the direction he was pointing, “It’s a bit of a hike and I wasn’t sure what else you had planned for the day…”

Grant glanced down at his watch, “I’m not sure I would have the time…”

The redhead’s face fell, only for a moment, before he nodded in understanding, “No yeah I totally get it. We walked the whole park which is pretty incredible as it is, that’s a lot of walking. And then we’d have to walk the whole way back because I don’t know what direction you were coming from or where you were sta-“

Reaching up, Grant grabbed the collar of Sherman’s shirt and pulled him down, pressing their lips together. The silence was almost blissful. His lips were warm, cracked slightly from the summer air. There was a lingering mix of sweetness and bitterness from the tea and cookies from the tea house. He moved to tilt his head before he caught himself, embarrassment rushing through him. What was he doing?

Pulling away, Grant took a few steps back from the redhead who was staring back at him in confusion. How could he have done that? “I-I’m so…,” he stuttered, hands shaking slightly. Before Sherman could say anything, he turned and rushed back across the street.

“Grant! Wait!”

The trees and people passed by in a blur, his mind spinning out of control. What was he doing? Kissing someone he barely knew, without even asking! He didn’t understand what had gotten into him.

It felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[nazariolahela]

Something Domestic: Chapter 17

A/N: Hey y'all! This story is told in first-person narrative, from Riley’s (MC) POV. There will likely be smidges of canon in this, but not too much. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

I just wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone who read this series. It was so much fun to write. Big thanks to everyone who gave feedback and bugged me about releasing new chapters on time. (Which I couldn’t seem to do towards the end. Haha sorry about that.) Anywho, I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read my writing. Y’all are amazing. 😘😘

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow @aworldoffandoms @dcbbw @ladyangel70 @texaskitten30 @sunandlemons @jlynn12273 @indiacater @jared2612 @rainbowsinthestorm @drakesensworld @badchoicesposts @msjr0119 @katurrade @blackcoffee85 @cynicalworlds-blog @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @sugarandspice-milkandhoney @superharrietsuper @custaroonie @lady-calypso @ritachacha @olympianpantsuit @desiree-0816 @the-soot-sprite @kate-mckenzie @narrytheworld @octobereighth @lynne1993 @queen-anastasia-universe @loveellamae @sarzkh31​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @queenjilian​

Synopsis: When Riley Brooks takes a new job as a nanny for the affluent Rhys family in New York’s Upper East Side, she assumes she’s just going to care for the children of the couple who hired her. But instead of just school pick-ups and afternoon snacks, she also finds herself spending time with Liam, the handsome divorced dad. Can Riley control her feelings for Liam while still performing the job she was hired for?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: Will Riley and Liam get their Happily Ever After?

Epilogue - Six Months Later

Hana and I stand in the living room of our old apartment, packing up the last of the boxes. It still hasn’t hit me yet that this will no longer be our home. We had some good memories here. I pick up a framed photo of us in the Hamptons the summer after we graduated college. It’s only from a few years ago, but I can’t believe how young we look.

Hana balances a box on her hip, peering over my shoulder at the photo. “Oh my gods, look at us.”

I turn around and hold it out to her. “Do you want it?”

She shakes her head. “You keep it. I already took the one from our vacation at the shore. I look better in that one anyway.”

“Yes you do,” I laugh and set the photo into a box and tape the lid shut. I stand up and take one last look around the apartment, making sure we didn’t forget anything. I smile to myself as I recall the last four years. I remember we had to sleep on an air mattress in the living room that first night because the moving truck wasn’t scheduled to show up with our furniture until the next morning. The washing machine on our floor broke a week after we moved in, so we had to wash all our clothes in the tub. There was also the time our upstairs neighbor tried to get us to have a threesome with him.

Hana glances out the window then turns back to me. “Your ride is here. If you want, I can take the keys down to the landlord.”

I unhook mine from my keyring and place it in her palm before wrapping her in a hug. I can’t stop the tears from escaping. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

She laughs through her own tears. “I’m only moving to the West Village. It’s literally a 30-minute drive. I promise we’ll get together once a week.” Her hand moves to my cheek to brush away my tears and the sunlight pouring in through the window catches the diamond of her wedding ring. Hana and Meghan got married last week in an intimate ceremony. The engagement was a short one and caught everyone by surprise, especially Hana’s parents. They were against it at first, but eventually came around and walked her down the aisle. I stood in as Hana’s Maid of Honor, with Meghan’s older brother serving as her Best Man.

“Promise you won’t turn into one of those married bitches who ditches her best friend for her wife?” I sniffle.

“As long as you don’t turn into one of those trophy girlfriends who ditches her best friend for her rich boyfriend.”

We laugh and share another hug before I grab my boxes and make my way downstairs. When I reach the sidewalk, I spot Liam leaning against the side of his car, looking mouthwatering in dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt. A sexy smirk spreads across his face. After the drama with Madeleine, Liam and I became official. He wanted to move me into his penthouse almost immediately, but I told him I had to wait for my lease to expire before we took that next step. Although to be honest, I’ve been spending nearly every night at his place.

He approaches me, taking the boxes from my hands and presses a searing kiss to my lips. “Got everything?” he asks as he moves to set the boxes in the trunk.

“Yep, Hana’s dropping the key off right now.”

He slings an arm around me and pulls me to him, kissing my forehead. Hana emerges a few minutes later, holding her own boxes. Liam walks over and takes the boxes from her as she and I share one last hug.

“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask her.

She beams. “Well, we’re meeting with the adoption agency for a home study. But I’ll call you next week. We can get lunch.”

My heart warms. Hana and Meghan applied to adopt a child a few months ago. I was over the moon when she shared the news. We all suspect the sudden engagement and marriage was a way to fast-track the adoption process.

A few moments later, Meghan’s car pulls up behind Liam’s. Hana and I say our goodbyes as Meghan grabs the boxes from Liam and puts them in the back seat of her car. Hana hugs Liam then climbs in the front seat. I make my way over to Meghan.

“Hey! I just want to say thank you for always being there for Hana. Even when I wasn’t. She’s very lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one. But thank you. I know we’ve had our differences, but you mean a lot to her, and I want you and me to be friends.”

“I think we can do that,” I say before pulling her in for a hug. “Take care of my best friend, please.”

“I will.”

Meghan gives us a quick wave, then climbs into her car and pulls away from the curb. I wipe the tears from my face as Liam comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me, and plants a kiss on the top of my head. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Ready to get out of here?”

“Ready when you are.” He opens my car door and holds it while I climb inside. He then jogs around the front to his side and slips in. He presses the push start button and the car roars to life. Shifting the car in gear, he pulls away from the curb and sets off down the street. I stare out the window and watch our old apartment building disappear. Liam reaches over and takes my hand, entwining our fingers, and presses a soft kiss to the back of it.

“Have you heard from Andrew lately?”

I dig through my purse with my free hand and fish out my cellphone. I open my messages and show him a photo of Andrew, Derek and Adam, and their new nanny Emily all lounging on the beach in Cabo. They all look so happy. Emily took over as Andrew’s live-in nanny a few months ago. I was the one who recommended her. She has a degree in early childhood development and she’s great at what she does. The best part was that she was more than willing to take the job. As much as I enjoyed working with Andrew and his dads, I just couldn’t commit to the live-in part. Thankfully, they were very understanding. They send me weekly updates, thanking me for bringing her into their lives. Although I will miss working with them, I know I made the right choice.

Liam glances at the photo and smiles. “I’ll take you to Cabo if you want. I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Just say the word.”

“You can start by taking me home. To our home.”

He nods and moves through traffic on the way to our home. I’m excited to see the kids. I ended up leaving the agency shortly after Liam and I got back together. It was hard at first, but I love that it gives me more time to spend with Charlotte and Philip. Now that Liam and I are a couple, we wanted to make sure the kids understood what was going on. After he gained sole custody, we sat down with them and explained our relationship. They were beyond elated to have me back. Philip immediately asked me if we could go to the park. Charlotte asked me if her daddy and I were getting married.

Liam pulls the car up to the building and parks it in the underground parking area. We grab the last of my stuff and make our way to the elevator. Once we’re inside, he gently takes the boxes from my arms and sets them on the floor. He then wraps his arms around me, gripping my ass, and pulls me to his body. Our lips meet in a passionate kiss. His lips trail down my neck and shoulder, sending chills throughout my body. I fist his t-shirt, feeling him grow hard against me. This elevator better hurry the fuck up so I can officially fuck him in our apartment.

When we reach the top floor, the doors glide open and two high-pitched voices break us apart.

“DADDY! RILEY!” Charlotte and Philip shout in unison as they greet us in the foyer. Belinda waves goodbye as she slips out. Liam decided to keep Belinda on as a part-time nanny. Meaning she only watches the kids when needed. Charlotte’s arms wrap around my leg. I pick her up and hug her.

“Riley! Can we go play with my new dollhouse?”

“Later, sweetie. I need to finish unpacking. Why don’t you go wash up? It’s getting close to dinner time,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her rosy cheek. Philip runs up to me and hands me a picture he drew. I examine the artwork. Stick figure Liam and I are holding hands with stick figure Charlotte and Philip on either side of us. I smile and make my way into the kitchen, attaching it to the fridge. Liam comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach, and nuzzles my neck.

“Look at my little van Gogh. Let’s take your stuff up to our room. Then we can order something to eat. And later, I can eat you.”

My cheeks flame. Thankfully the kids aren’t within earshot. Moments later they come bursting into the room. He smirks and disappears up the stairs. I call out to Philip and Charlotte. “Hey, guys! Dinner will be here soon. Let’s go get washed up.”

A little while later, the food arrives and we sit down to eat. I glance around the table and observe. This whole thing feels right. I have a perfect man sitting next to me, two amazing kids that love me and I love like they were my own. I also have wonderful friends who care about me. I have the urge to pinch myself because none of this feels real. Liam looks over at me and gives me a warm smile that sends the butterflies in my stomach aflutter.

Later that evening as we’re putting the kids to bed, Charlotte grabs my hand.

“Riley? Are you going to live with us forever?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Liam smirk. I crouch down and brush her hair out of her face. “I hope so, sweetie. I love living with you and Philip. And your daddy, of course.”

She nods, her eyelids growing heavy. “Good. You should stay here.”

I lean in and kiss her forehead, then make my way to Philip’s room. He is sitting on his bed, holding his favorite bedtime story. “Riley? Will you read me a story?”

I glance at Liam standing in the doorway, then turn back to him. “Isn’t that your daddy’s job?”

“I want you to do it.”

I chuckle and sit down at the foot of his bed, taking the book from him. He curls under the covers and waves his father over. Liam sits cross-legged on the floor next to his bed as I read to Philip from his favorite book. Within a few minutes, he’s out like a light. Liam smiles and takes the book from my hand, placing it in the bookshelf. He grabs my hand and guides me down the hall to our room. I swing open the door and notice the dim glow of candles and rose petals scattered all over the bedroom. So that’s where he disappeared to before dinner. My eyes widen in shock.

“Liam? What is all this?”

I turn around just as he drops down to one knee, pulling a velvet box from his pocket. His blue eyes glow in the candlelight.

“Riley Brooks, queen of my heart. Ever since the day I met you, you’ve changed my whole world. Every day with you these last six months feels like a dream that I don’t want to wake up from. You’ve embraced my kids and love them as if you gave birth to them. You stayed patient with me through all my ex-wife drama. And even when I put you through hell, you could have told me to fuck off and never talked to me again. But you didn’t. All I want in this world is to dedicate my life to being the best man that I can be… for you. I have yearned to say these four words for a very long time… Will you marry me?”

He opens the box and reveals the most stunning emerald-cut solitaire engagement ring. This bad-boy has to be at least 10 carats. I don’t even want to know what he spent on it.

“Ohmygods, Liam!” I choke out through my tears. “Yes! A thousand times yes!”

He grins from ear to ear and slips the ring from its box, then onto my finger. He rises to his feet and cups my face in both hands, his blue eyes staring directly into mine. “I love you, Riley.”

“I love you, too.”

He brushes his lips to mine in a tender kiss that quickly grows intense. He presses my body to his, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me over to the bed and places me on the mattress, trailing his lips down my neck and across my collarbone. His hands go to work slipping off my shirt and bra.

“You won’t be needing these for what I’m about to do to you.”

Oh wow. A chill runs through my body, one he notices. He grins and trails hot kisses down my chest, taking one of my nipples in his mouth and gently tugs it in his teeth. The sensation shoots straight to my core and I let a soft moan slip from my lips. He begins to make his way down my stomach when I stop him.

“Wait!”

He looks up at me. “What’s wrong?”

I sit up and roll us over until I’m on top, straddling him. His eyes widen as I lean in and begin kissing my way down his chest. I don’t break eye contact as I slowly unbuckle and unzip his pants. His chest rises and falls in rapid succession.

“Riley, you don’t have to do this.”

I reach up and place a finger on his lips as I kiss a trail down his stomach until I reach the waistband of his boxer briefs. “Shh...Let me do this for you.”

I pull his underwear down and his cock springs free. I circle my tongue along the tip and pump it twice before wrapping my lips around him. His hands reach down to tangle his fingers in my hair, tugging it slightly. I take this cue to flatten my tongue and run it along the underside of his dick. I look up and see his eyes rolling in the back of his skull. I grin as I continue pumping and sucking, bobbing my head up and down.

His voice comes out as a harsh, husky whisper. “Riley, baby. I’m not going to last much longer.”

I quicken my pace, switching from long slow pumps to short fast ones. He grips my hair tighter and guides my rhythm, fucking my mouth. The tip of his cock hits the back of my throat, and I moan, causing him to moan in response.

“Riley… baby. Fuck… I’m gonna... come.”

I suck in my cheeks and pump harder and soon after he spills down my throat. I swallow and lap up his hot cum. He pulls me up his body, breathing hard, and presses a deep kiss to my lips.

“Holy shit. Would it be too much to ask for you to do that every night?”

I laugh. “Only for you, baby.”

He rolls us over and settles on top of me, fitting his long body between my thighs. “You couldn’t be more perfect if you tried. I love you. And I want to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. I know I already asked you this, but will you marry me?”

I smile and run my fingers through his hair pulling him closer to me. “Yes.”

[bizzstfdreams]

The Initiative

Written by my friend so not my work

Sam checked his watch it was close to 5:30, "damn" he thought to himself, he was still two signatures short of his quota. Sam was a paid signature gatherer for a local company that gathered signatures for local initiatives and the like. Today he was working on the “No on I-69” campaign for a tax that was supposed to raise money for local arts or something. It was one of the few that he actually could see the logic in. Who the hell wanted to waste a bunch of taxpayer dollars on random art. Anyway, he had to get thirty signatures by the end of today the deadline for the initiative, otherwise he wouldn't get paid. He worked his way down his set canvassing route and was turned away at the next few houses. After ten more polite no thank yous, a few ruder door slams, and only one other signature, he was getting desperate. He watched as the sun started to set and the sky took on a faint yellow orange hue. He needed to get that last signature so he could get paid and make rent. He decided to stray from the set route and went down a few streets to an unlisted area. Signature gatherers had set lists for tracking purposes but Sam needed that last signature. The houses grew larger as he walked down the street, becoming fewer and far between as he walked, they had large yards filled with fountains and carefully groomed topiaries. The first house he came to had him feeling very underdressed in his faded blue polo, khakis and sneakers. It had a large front yard with tall hedges shielding hidden gardens to his left and right. He heard the faint trickle of water and caught a glimpse or two of a marble statues sitting on squared plinths through breaks in the leaf walls. The house was not the largest but the entrance was imposing, two large marble columns framed a large double paneled red door. It was once he had reached the door that he noticed a bronze plate with gold lettering that said “No Soliciting” just above a mail slot. He paused for a minute and again checked his watch 5:22 PM, shoot he would have to chance it. Taking a deep breath as did his best to straighten his tousled brown hair into a semi respectable appearance, he put on his best smile, puffing up all of his 5'9 frame. He rang the doorbell nervously, the three deep bell tones that announced his arrival didn't reassure him. They seemed to reverberate through the empty space behind the door. He waited. As he was about to leave he heard the slight jingle of the handle of the door as it opened.

An older man in his mid to late forties stood in the door. He was an imposing figure, almost as tall as the door. He was well groomed, with short neat dark brown almost black hair streaked with grey and a matching trimmed beard. He was broad and did not look amused at the interruption to his day. "Yes?" he said gruffly. "Hello Sir" Sam beamed trying to sound cheerful, the effect of which was ruined by his voice cracking a bit from the intimidating figure. "Are you tired of the city council wasting money on wasteful art projects while other more useful things like filling potholes and better public transit go unfunded?" Sam paused looking to the man for some reaction some sign he was interested or was about to slam door but the man was unreadable. With his deadline looming and undeterred by the lack of response, Sam continued "Just last year, the city council wasted close to $100,000 to rent a statue for Anderson Park. The indecent statue was a naked man with no censorship of his privates. This so called art imposed paid for by taxpayers like you, led to protests by local families." The man frowned, "Crap, I'm losing him" Sam thought to himself, as he hurried with the rest of his points. "Your signature could help prevent future wastes like the Anderson Park debacle" Sam finished presenting his clipboard. The man examined Sam intently, his deep green eyes pierced through Sam, he felt suddenly very small. "I'll consider signing" The man said finally, "But...I would like to hear more about I-69, would you care to come in and sit down." The man asked in a way that wasn't really a request. Sam checked his watch again 5:25 he had to text a picture of the signatures in five minutes or he wouldn't get paid, and he really needed to get paid. Shaking off both his better judgement and the intimidating man's presence he nodded. The man opened the door further and led him into the house. A large curving staircase dominated the room. A large empty marble pedestal stood next to the banister. Along the walls of the entryway held alcoves with similar pedestals, again empty, the effect unnerved Sam for some reason. He followed the man down the hallway into a living room. Two large brown leather couches stood parallel with an oddly shaped coffee table between them. Upon closer examination, Sam saw that the coffee table had been carved from wood to resemble a man, the figure was on all fours his hands and knees flat on the ground and his feet with flexed toes touching the ground exposing its arches. The face of the man disturbed Sam. Its head was raised, its mouth was open in an O shape as if it had been caught mid sentence. On its back, rested a large piece of glass that served as the top of the coffee table. Atop it was strewn some large photography books that all seemed to feature nude men and a cup of coffee still steaming. The detailing on the wooden figure was almost lifelike, it wasn't for the fact that the entire thing was wood grained, Sam would have sworn it was a real man. "Great this guy is probably some homo. Probably thinks he'll get a date or something out of this" Sam groaned to himself but whatever he needed to do to get that signature. The man motioned for Sam to sit and he took the couch opposite him. Slipping off his slippers he rested his black socked feet on the coffee table's head. "So tell me more about this initiative of yours" the man leaning back and waiting.

Putting on his charm Sam started again "Like I said before, currently city funds are being used on some questionable projects, these funds would be better spent on things like potholes and tax breaks for taxpayers like you. The projects include the naked statue in Anderson park and the painting of fish on the freeway wall; these art projects cost the cities millions and could be better used." Sam recited the speal his supervisors had made him memorize speeding up as he heard the distant tick of some clock in the house toward his rapidly disappearing paycheck. "...and that's why your signature is essential to stop wasteful spending." He finished. The man considered his for a second, "You make some good points. I think you have convinced me, I'll sign." The man said finally, Sam sighed in relief. "Great here you go" holding out the clipboard and pen. But instead of taking them the man stood up suddenly "Where are my manners, would you like a glass of ice tea or a soda son?" The man said, Sam looked down at his watch 5:27 shit it would be a photo finish, before he could respond, the man had already made his way to the kitchen. "Um sure, a glass of iced tea sounds nice" Sam replied as he thought to himself, “it had been a hot day” and but also with a desperate hope that he could hurry things along by just accepting the drink. The man returned with a tall glass of iced tea, cubes of ice clinking invitingly. "Here you go!" he said once again resting his feet on the coffee table's head. "Thanks" Sam said as he gulped it down, it was refreshing, a hint of lemon but also a slightly odd sweet taste, probably some fake sugar or something. The man looked like the type to count calories and watch his sugar intake, probably spent hours at the gym. Finishing off the glass Sam once again raised his clipboard. "So you'll sign" "Oh yes" The man said taking the clipboard. Sam was on edge, he needed that signature as the man started to sign his hand paused, he dabbed the pen on the paper a few times, then squiggled a few lines in the margin. "Damn" A dry pen was the last thing he needed, he screamed internally, he just needed that one damn signature, he was about to reach for the pen and try it out himself when it fell out of the man's hand and rolled underneath the coffee table. "I'll get that" Sam said a bit strained and panicked. He bent down and got on his knees to grab the pen. It had fallen underneath the top of the coffee table right under the wooden statue, right by under its waist just in front of its knees, as he bent down, Sam realized the artist or carver had even captured the statue's uncut erect cock in the same detail as the rest of the piece. Each fold and crease of the foreskin captured in wood, it even had a slight hanging wooden drip of precum on its tip. Sam shuddered and reached for the pen. As he did he felt a strange tingle, he brushed it off and reached again for the pen but his movements seemed slow, another tingle then another, quicker now, spreading through his body, along with it a strange cooling sensation radianted following the tingling. His movements slowed even more, it felt like he was pushing through jello just to move an fraction of an inch, and just as his fingertips touched the pen, his movements stopped altogether. Sam struggled, trying to wiggle, twitch, lift something, anything, but his body betrayed him. All of his efforts were useless. He couldn’t move even a millimeter. He was panicking, “what had happened” “why can’t I move”, “help” all of these thoughts ran through his brain as he stared ahead at the wooden figure and pen in front of him unable to change his gaze. The sound of footsteps and and the brief view of the man’s pants and shoes as he circled around him broke him out of his spiral of confusion and shock. “He’ll get help” Sam thought somewhat naively. Instead of a rescue, the next thing Sam felt was two large hands on his ample ass. “Mmm bubble butt very nice” He heard the man say to himself, as he fondled Sam’s ass rubbing it in a way that he would never let anyone, much less a man, touch him. Sam wanted to scream, to punch the guy out, something, but he couldn’t...all he could do was seethe in anger and humiliation as the man palmed his ass. The next sensation that Sam felt was the hands grasping and pulling, then the sharp tear of his khaki pants being ripped in half and stripped off his body exposing his bare legs and boxer clad ass. “Boxer shorts, must be straight, this just gets better and better” The man said, Sam could almost hear the leering smile in his voice. With another quick motion and sharp tear and the boxers fall in shreds, Sam can feel them sliding down his sides onto the floor, his most private parts now completely exposed. The man runs his finger down Sam’s crack brushing against the cheeks. The sensation of the touch brought up a strange new conflicting feeling in Sam, in his mind he was disgusted and angry trapped and manhandled by this gay man, but also something about what had been done to his body had magnified his senses tenfold. Just the simple touch of a finger was driving his more basic instincts wild, his cock though locked in position would have been straining out of his shredded pants if he had been able to move. The sensation was sensual at the same time deeply arousing, he was getting more turned on from that single sensation despite the fact that it was a man, than he had ever had before. As the man probed deeper with his finger, Sam’s pleasure intensified. humiliation and anger at the violation drowned out by the pleasure this one finger was giving him. He was straining inside as the finger slid home, Sam’s only thoughts arousal and a desperate need to touch himself and get off. As the finger started sliding in and out of his virgin hole, it only got worse the frustration and pleasure forming a back and forth rut. After the man fingered him for what seemed like both an eternity and instant Sam felt one final thrust and withdrawal of his finger from his ass and felt strangely empty. His more rational mind started to return, the humiliation and shame of being fingered while helpless started to kick in. His thoughts turned into the predicament, he was trapped and the man had obviously been responsible for it. His captor must have spiked his iced tea.What was he going to do to him next. Sam’s thoughts raced in his head, working in circles trying to find some solution or hope but each thought ending the same way, trapped unable to move in this man’s living room. He was off the set signature route so no one knew where he was. He had lost cell phone coverage at least three streets back so no one would be able to track his phone, He lived alone and had just broken up with girlfriend a week ago. It would be weeks before anyone even noticed he was missing. These thoughts were interrupted when he felt the man's hands on his ass again, this time both at his waist. He knew what the position of those hands meant, he had taken it himself countless times on countless women. The shame of being in that position would have been unbearable, except that after the fingering, some small but growing part of Sam wanted what happened next. That part of him did not have to wait long, as the man’s grip of Sam’s waist tightened and he slammed hard into Sam’s upturned ass. “UGhh, oh yeah, god I love a nice tight straight hole, bet you like the feel of a real cock too don’t you boy” The man groaned aloud. The man’s finger had not prepared Sam for the sensation of the man’s large cock plunging deep into his ass. The mixture of pain and pleasure Sam’s ass being stretched as the man’s cock slammed into his prostate overwhelmed Sam, his vision even in his frozen state blurred. The man held his thrust deep into Sam, then after a moment he withdrew, then thrust again, and again, speeding up and thrusting even harder. The man had no regard for Sam’s body, indeed in his mind Sam was just now another fuck toy. His to use as he wanted and use him he did, fucking Sam harder than he would a normal human person. Sam meanwhile was hovering between heaven and hell, the pain of his hole being stretched to its widest by the man’s thick cock a painful torture worthy of the deepest circle of hell, but the feeling of the head of the man’s cock as it slammed with almost targeted precision onto his prostate was in his heightened sensation state was a heavenly pleasure. The man’s stamina was endless, for almost an hour he pounded Sam’s ass, his body warming and dripping hot sweat onto Sam’s prone immobile form. Till even he could stand it no longer and finally came, spilling a burning hot load into Sam’s ass as he collapsed on top of him. When the man finally got up to clean himself, Sam could still feel his cock inside of him even though he was gone. His hole ached and he was also keenly aware of the cooling sperm deep inside of him and sweat on top of him but he could do nothing about any of it. He remained there still immobilized. As the sensations from the session faded, the familiar creeping feelings of shame and anger returned now firmly tinged with a need to be filled again, which only made the shame and anger worse. Footsteps announced the return of the man, the next sound that Sam heard was the metallic thunk of something heavy next to him. He didn’t have long to guess what it was as he was hoisted in the air by the man and thrust atop some pole. The pole had been mounted with some sort of plug that fit squarely in Sam’s ass plunging in almost as deeply as the man had. While it filled him somewhat it didn’t compare to the hot throbbing cock that had been in just a minute ago and though Sam hated it, he also longed for it. The pole held him suspended in the air his hand now pointing up reaching toward the ceiling, head facing up. Knees still bent as if he was kneeling in thin air. The man made quick work of Sam’s clothing stripping off his shoes and socks and then his polo shirt. Now that his victim was completely naked, he stepped back to take in a full view of his work. Running his hands over Sam’s body. The warm hands sending pleasure wherever they glided. “Hmmm, what to do with you now, what would you look good in, I have been doing a lot of wood lately, maybe marble, I haven’t done a marble in a few months, not since the twins in the garden.” The man said hand on his chin musing for a minute before he disappeared again this time returning with a pail of some sort of liquid. Sam could do nothing totally unaware of what was transpiring around his, his eyes were fixed toward his hand and the ceiling. His only indication of what was happening was the sensation of a roller or brush applying a thick white paste like substance on his skin. The liquid felt cool unctuous like a heavy oil paint or plaster on his bare skin. It dried quickly he could feel it tightening on his skin as it dried leaving his skin feeling heavier and stiffer. The man worked his way all over his body, the feeling of the brush on his sensitized skin brought back the deep arousal and need for release that was getting pent up on in again. Down his legs, up his firm ass, up his back and back down through his chest and abs. Brush...brush brush, he was coated, each movement of the brush turning him on more and more teasing him achingly as he had no release. As the man made his way down to Sam’s cock, he put on some gloves and dipped his hands into the liquid, rubbing it he applied it by hand to Sam’s cock. First cupping his balls massaging them rolling them in his hands and the liquid coating them in slowly and completely in the liquid. Sam meanwhile was going crazy with pleasure in his own head, he had no other thought then sensation and a pounding need for release. These feelings only intensified as he moved to Sam’s shaft gripping it in his hands lubed with the white thick liquid as he pumped up and down the shaft paying particular attention to the head. “I NEED TO CUM” Sam screamed mentally but to no avail, he would find no release. The man finished with Sam’s hair and face coating it in the white liquid before removing his gloves. Picking up a small case he inserts two larger than normal white contacts into Sam’s eyes. “There we go now, the perfect marble statue. If I do say so myself” He said stepping back and admiring the work. The next sensation he feels is the man spinning him on the pole he feels himself rising a bit after each full rotation till finally he hears a faint click as the plug in his ass separates from the pole and he falls into the man’s arms. The man picks him up “oof a bit heavier now aren’t ya” he says as he hefts him down onto a waiting marble slab. Applying the plaster to his one flat palm and balls of Sam’s feet and knees, the man rests Sam on the slab facing the coffee table and mirror. It is at this point that Sam realizing the table was not a table but another hapless soul like him who had fallen into this man’s grasps but what disturbed him even more was the sight of himself in the mirror. Instead of a flesh and blood man what stared back at him in the mirror was a white marble statue that had all of his features, each part of his naked body on display reaching for something that wasn’t there. If he hadn’t been him, he would have sworn he was a statue. The man got up and left him again this time turning off the lights. Sam sits there in the dark lost in a sea of shame, fear and curiosity about his new existence. Would he ever be able to move again? Was he stuck like this forever? And the one thought he kept trying to deny and push down, would he get fucked again? God he wanted that and hated that he did. His contemplation was interrupted by the brrring of a phone. The lights came back on as the man re-entered the room. The man picked up a phone “Hello, George speaking? He answered “Oh Kevin, great to hear from you, what can I do for you?” he paused and listened to the person on the other line. “Another commission for the City? I don’t know, didn’t you get into trouble for my last one, what did they call it, lewd? Stone pornography? Ha ha, yes I have heard about that ridiculous initiative.” George said patting Sam on the rump. Sam would have broken out in a cold sweat if he could as he realized who the man was. The statue in the park must have been a man like me. No wonder it had only been a temporary installation. He began to wonder what happened to him. “Well if the mayor is prepared for the blowback….. Oh really? 30 signatures short? That’s a relief.” George smiled wickedly picking up Sam’s discard clipboard and tossing it in a nearby bin. “Well in that case, I think I have the perfect piece… yes perfect timing…...just finished it today…...No no not a permanent one I’m afraid, I’m happy to loan it but you know all my work remains in my collection. Okay we’ll ship it out tomorrow. Great, bye bye.” he hung up. “Well well my boy” he cooed brushing Sam’s face “so much for wasteful spending. Looks like you’ll be spending some time thinking about the value of art in the public space.” He laughed somehow sensing Sam’s panic. “Oh don’t worry, I’m not a monster, it’s not permanent but maybe six months of being art will enlighten your perspective, though based on my experience you won’t mind it that much, Ed here” he said patting the coffee table “Has been a part of my collection for at least three years, this must be his second or third pose I can’t remember. The twins outside at least one but I guess we’ll see” he patted Sam again and once again left Sam there alone and immobile. The next day a mover and a truck came, the two men brought with them a large wooden pallet. The smaller of the two greeted George, as Kevin. The larger of the two men as Marco, he was almost as large as George, but more built and even broader, he had tan skin and dark hair, maybe latino, with deep brown eyes. Sam could tell from the bulge in his pants and the way it strained against the fabric as he handled his statue body that Marco was aroused by Sam’s naked form. “This is great work, amazing detail it's almost lifelike” he gushed to George who was directing Sam’s boxing. “Thank you, don’t worry too much, about the padding, there's a special finish on my statutes that prevents most common types of damage.” George said as Marco wrapped began to wrap Sam in batting before hefting him onto the pallet. Marco and Kevin, the other man, brought in large wooden panels and proceeded to nail into place forming the rest of the box that would transport Sam to his new home, Anderson Park. “Hey Marco, Would you consider modeling for me sometime? You would make a great subject.” George said as he watched the two men’s movements. Marco’s face brightened. George smiled. “Maybe after you load up the statue into Kevin’s truck you’d consider staying, you have your car here right? Kevin doesn’t mind taking the statue to the park himself, they’ll have staff to unload” “Sure, I’d be honored to” the Marco replied eagerly. As the last panel of the box was pushed into place Sam hear George addressing Marco, “After all that lifting you look parched, would you like a glass of ice tea or soda?”.

[pinkwatchblueshoes]

Garvez Fluff

Just a little quick fluff that I desperately need to see but wont. Margaritas and Mix Ups Penelope Garcia told herself not again. After an intense but platonic relationship with her best friend Derek Morgan, she knew she couldnt care so deeply for another person when they could, and eventually would, just up leave her. Penelope often beat herself up for feeling this way because she loved Savannah and little Hank but her heart could only take so much after all the losses the team had gone through. She already had enough worry for her family and team as is. Newbie was trying his hardest to chip away at her "fluffy armor" as he called it. What killed Garcia was that she found everything he tried so endearing but she always stopped herself before she got in over her head. On top of everything SSA Luke Alvez was another gorgeous strong superhero, just like Derek, yet totally different. His smile knocked her off kilter, but a man like that would never look at a woman like her she lamented. After a particularly hard case Garcia was staying late to finish paperwork so she could spend the entire weekend focused on de-stressing and relaxing, NOT thinking about the young women of this case. She was pulled away from her computer screen with a knock on her lair door. "Still here?" A familiar deep voice asked. "Obviously." She snarked back but Luke only smirked at the feisty blonde. "I would ask if I could join you but you'd just say no so I'll just take a seat anyway." Penelope only snorted knowing he was just as stubborn as she was. When she finally finished up and shut down her computer and its many screens she found him intensely studying one side of her office that held pictures of friends and family, even hand drawn pictures from Henry. Garcia could see the sadness behind his dark eyes. Was this case just as bad for him? Or was he missing someone, his family? The offer flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself. "Do you want to go get a drink?" Luke turned to her surprised. "Really? I-I would love that." "Good lets go." Penelope grabbed her purse and Luke followed closely to the elevators. As they descended to the garage level in the elevator Luke's stomach growled loudly. "I'm sorry about that." He said embarrassed. "Do you think we could go somewhere with food also?" "Soo needy Newbie." Penelope groaned but smiled letting him know she was kidding. Little did he know she was starving as well. "Well lucky for you I know a little Mexican joint with the best margaritas and they serve dinner late." When they arrived the hostess recognized Penelope right away. "Oh Miss Penny!! So good to see you. Your table is available." Penelope blushed. "Come here often?" Luke chuckled quietly. Once seated the server arrived right away. "Your usual Miss Penny? Peach Margarita and the veggie fajitas?" Penelope's face got even redder but nodded yes anyway. The server turned to Luke expectantly. "You know what? That sounds delicious. I'll have the same." Luke turned to see Penelope's shocked face. "Hey it must be good if you come here often and have a usual. I trust you." Penelope couldnt stop the warmth that the statement "I trust you" put through her, even if it was just a food choice. Plus she knew Luke ate meat and drank beer so he was going outside his comfort zone for her. "So how is miss Roxy?" Penelope started with a subject she loved. "She's good. I'm leaving her at the sitter's tonight since its so late. She misses you though. I swear she knows who the dog cookies are from when I give them to her." "Well as long as she enjoys them I'll keep making them." Penelope said with a smile. There was a silence but Luke was just smiling at her, then the food arrived breaking the moment. The conversation was surprisingly easy and comfortable for Penelope. She laughed hard when Luke told her about helping out a older neighbor with some chores who then came on to him. Being the nice guy Luke was he was stuck dodging her advances until all the chores were done. "I think I like Mrs. Corgin." "Of course you would. You'd love anyone who gave me a hard time." "True." The teasing was light and fun. Penelope appreciated his sense of humor. But what really touched her was when they accidentally got on the topic of work and this last case, he listened patiently as she described having to go through the victim's lives intimately to only see them dead in the crime scene photos feeling like a failure for not saving them. Luke reached over and held her hand as she wiped her tears with her other hand. "Its never easy when we lose victims but I know those women will be remembered because of you Garcia. You are the most caring person I know and the heart of the team. You keep us going time and time again." Penelope just stared at him with awe. After a few minutes she realized they were still holding hands and oddly she didnt want to let go. As it got later the pair reluctantly parted ways. She left him with a quick hug because if she held on longer she might not let go. Penelope spent the rest of the weekend replaying the night and actually looking forward to Monday morning. When she arrived at work she put down her purse and coat in her office and headed to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She saw Luke talking to JJ and Spencer but as she approached with a smile Luke's eyes grew wide. Even before Penelope could say good morning Luke mumbled gotta go and quickly left. Penelope visibly deflated but quickly recovered so JJ and Spencer wouldnt ask. The snuff hurt her more than she cared to admit. "How was your guys' weekend?" JJ told her about Henry's soccer game and Spencer rambled on about a new book he read and wrote a paper on for fun. Later that morning JJ visited Penelope in her office, she leaned against Penelope's desk and asked how she was. "Fine." "Uh huh." JJ wasnt convinced. "And how was your weekend? You left before I could ask." "Fine." "Okay spill." "Its nothing." "Its not nothing." "Oh yes it is. Clearly from Luke's reaction this morning, the completely meaningless dinner we had together was nothing." "Oh sweetheart." "Please dont oh sweetheart me JJ. I know. I know that I got my hopes up and I knew it was stupid to do so yet here I am again. A guy like that would never be interested in a girl like me. Dont worry JJ, I'll be fine." "You need to talk to Luke." Before Penelope could respond her computers and her phone chimed indicating a case. Penelope gave the team the details of the case. Prominent local figures were being kidnapped, killed, and left in public areas in Phoenix, Arizona. Penelope managed to ignore Luke, even when he asked a question she answered addressing the group rather than him. Prentiss closed the meeting with the traditional order of 'Wheels up in 30'. Penelope quickly headed back to her lair but with the high heels she was wearing Luke easily tracked her down. "Hey can I talk to you real quick?" "You're on limited time Newbie." She replied not looking him. "Garcia stop. Stop please." Luke gently put his hand on her elbow halting her. "Please listen. I want to apologize for this morning." "Why? Nothing happened." "Penelope look at me." Penelope did but showed no emotion except annoyance. "I, uh, well I just wanted to say." Luke stumbled over his words and rubbed the back of his neck. "Damnit I wanted to do this better." Penelope was now confused. "Luke its fine. You better get to the jet." "No its not fine. Let me explain. I ducked out this morning because you walked in on me talking to JJ and Spencer about our date." "Our date?" "Yeah well, no I mean it wasnt a date per se but I was wondering if we could go on one? Together I mean. A date." Penelope's confusion faded away to giddiness. She'd never seen Luke Alvez so inarticulate and it was because of her! "Are you asking me out, Newbie?" "Yes." Prentiss appeared down the hall. "Alvez, let's go." Luke looked bummed but moved towards the elevators. "Dont answer yet, just think about it." Penelope was sure she looked like a fish with her mouth gaping open. Later in the day after the team landed in Phoenix she got a text from JJ. -Told you. What are you going to say? -I'm so confused. -Why? Dont you like him? -Well yes but what was going on this morning? -Penelope you're a smart girl. He was embarrassed, nervous to talk to you. Now call him and tell him you'll go out with him when we get back. Even though Penelope had trouble believing that Luke Alvez was nervous around her she took JJ's advice, well sort of. She didnt call him, but he called her pertaining to the case. After she finished answering his questions about the victims' backgrounds she stopped him from hanging up. "Wait Luke." "What no newbie?" Luke chuckled nervously. "Were you serious?" "Very serious Penelope. Why do you think I've been trying so hard to get you to like me? I loved spending time with you just us Friday night. I have to admit I wish I wouldve been much more smoother with it all." Penelope finally let out a breath and laughed. "Well that was pretty bad." She teased. "Yes it was, but I'm glad you know now. Anyway I better get back to the team." "Hey Luke." "Yeah?" "I can't wait till you get back." Penelope couldnt contain her smile. "Is that a yes?" "See you soon Luke Alvez." "See you soon Penelope Garcia."

[asterinjapan]

Red is the color

Good evening again!

It’s starting to cool down a little here in the Kansai region, which in practice means that we’re almost considering 35 C ‘cool’ now, pff. Apparently today is predicted to be actually worse in the Netherlands though, so good luck with that!

A slightly different report today, as my friend and I split ways in Kyoto.

I purposefully made that sound really dramatic, because it really wasn’t, haha. Here we go for a two-sided walk in Kyoto!

You see, my friend had decided to visit the famous Fushimi Inari Taisha before she was even sure she’d go to Japan this summer. It is very popular, after all: it was named the best trip in Japan for several years in a row, or something or another that they proudly proclaimed on a banner. So obviously, she couldn’t miss out on this on her first trip to Japan! And it truly is worth a visit. 

So first, we took the train to Kyoto. Theoretically you can take the JR Kyoto train or something, but why do that when you have a JR pass and take the shinkansen to be there in 15 minutes? Exactly. So, we hopped on the Kodama shinkansen (meaning ‘echo’) and zoomed over to Kyoto, where we had to transfer to the local Nara line. Luckily it had just arrived for us, so two stops later, we arrived at our destination: Inari station.

The station itself is already appropriately themed, in case you were still wondering why all those tourists were taking a local train through the outskirts of Kyoto: all the bars are red. The station itself is tiny, so there was quite a queue to leave it, but once outside, you’re immediately confronted with the biggest draw here. A giant red torii gate shimmering across the road, marking the entrance to the Grand Shrine of Fushimi Inari. It’s one of many, many of those gates, and I bet that if you ever saw a commercial for holidays in Japan, it’s one of the images they’ve used to lure you in. Inari is the name of the mountain as well as of the god of rice and business, and a miles long trail of red gates leads you all the way to the top. Those gates are bought by companies, families or private persons and inscribed with their names and the year of donation, which gets pretty funny when you start spotting very modern names like, Panasonic or something.

Obviously we first took a lot of pictures posing with the gates, although we also inevitably had pictures of fifty other people attempting the same. We followed the trail leading up through the forest, and then paused for a little to have some melon pan we’d bought beforehand. (Melon pan means melon bread, named so for its shape and not its taste. It’s pretty sweet bread, so naturally I’d convinced my friend this was something she absolutely had to try.) At this point though, I was looking up and saw the tons and tons of stairs that led all the way to the top of the mountain, whereas before it had only been an uphill road. I knew that was a tad too ambitious for me this week, so this is where my friend and I parted ways. She was going to make her way to the top of the mountain, while I was trailing back to take the train a few stops further ahead. We agreed to meet up at the entrance of the shrine by 2:30 and went our separate ways.

(Oh, and before you call me a weakling – I’ve already walked the entire trail twice before, so I can definitely do it, haha.)

As said, I walked back to the station, where the train arrived just as I reached the platform, so that was nice! I rode it for a whole 7 minutes to make my way to Momoyama station. It’s a tiny station, and there was no-one at the manned gate, which meant that I couldn’t show my JR pass to get out of the station. I had to ring a bell and then show my pass to a camera, pff.

Anyway, I got to go through and made my way to my new destination – Fushimi-Momoyama Castle! Yep, another castle. I actually didn’t know this one existed until a couple of months ago, when I’d downloaded an app to keep track of Japanese castles (because of course I had an app for that). I was browsing the Kyoto area to find a castle I’d never heard of before. That would be Fushimi Castle, or Fushimi-Momoyama Castle.

I’m not the only one who hadn’t heard of it before, because there was barely any signage, and the parking lot was so deserted I was starting to wonder if the area was even open. I saw some people walking in the distance, so I shrugged and walked on.

As it turns out, there’s a baseball field in this park as well, which gave me slight paranoia as our hotel got invaded last night by a huge group of baseball players. This morning, we had to wait out 4 elevators because all of them were full of said baseball players, so I was getting kinda twitchy at the mention of the sport, haha. (Turns out there’s a high school championship going on at the Koshien stadium in the next prefecture over, so maybe they’re just here for that and I can spot them on TV. There’s a lot of baseball on TV this week, so…)

No matter the baseball though, because a huge entrance gate suddenly showed up in between the trees. The castle grounds were open, although the castle itself is closed and there are warning signs that you shouldn’t get too close in case of falling debris. You see, Fushimi Castle has a bit of an unfortunate history. The current construction dates back to the 1960s: the original castle was intended to be the retirement home for Toyotomi Hideyoshi, a famous war lord and one of the unifiers of Japan. Fushimi Castle was furnished beautifully unlike other castles, since it was supposed to be a home instead of a defensive structure, and it was famous for its golden tea room. Alas, within two years an earthquake destroyed the castle. It was rebuilt, but it played a pivotal role in what turned out to be decisive battle in Japanese history, after which it quickly got dismantled again. Parts of the castle were then used in temples around Kyoto. (Fun fact: these temples used the floor boards of Fushimi Castle as their ceilings. A big group of samurai had committed ritual suicide after the last battle and their blood stains (including a bloody hand print) can still be seen on those ceilings even now. Sweet dreams tonight! Hey, I did say red is the color for today…)

Anyway, the former site of the castle is now sacred ground as the tomb of Emperor Meiji rests here and cannot be entered. The castle itself was rebuilt a little further ahead as a museum in the 1960s and served as a part of a theme park called ‘Castle Land’, but it was closed in 2003. The castle remains closed to this day, but the area is accessible and so you can just wander around in the park like area and take a bunch of photos as you please. And it’s super quiet! It’s a stark contrast to Fushimi Inari Taisha, as I spent quite a while here and saw maybe 10 other people in total, tops, including a father and a son who seemed more preoccupied catching bugs than looking at the castle, haha.

The skies turned blue after a while, allowing me to take some very nice shots. The castle probably looked better in the past: one of the giant fish on top was missing, and some roof tiles were sliding off, so I can imagine it can be dangerous to get too close.

Still, though, I really liked this detour. I actually planned on seeing the original site for as much as possible, but I got distracted by a plate for a different tomb/mausoleum: that of Emperor Kanmu, who ruled at the end of the 8th century and was the one who moved the capital city to Kyoto (Heian back in the days), where it would remain for over a thousand years until the capital eventually moved to Tokyo in 1868.

Although the first few dozen of emperors of Japan cannot be proven, Kanmu has been verified to have actually existed, so I was pretty excited to be this close to such an old part of history. Even if all there was to see was a stone torii gate in the distance, marking the entrance to the tomb. Sacred grounds, you see…

I didn’t stick around for very long, but it was an interesting little side step. Actually I met an older couple here, coming over from Osaka, who seemed very excited to find me here of all places and speaking Japanese to boot, haha. So that was a nice chance to practice my Japanese a little, which is not as atrocious as I was fearing, even if my vocabulary leaves a lot to be desired.

On my way back, I stumbled upon the Nogi Shrine, dedicated to general Nogi who took his own life after the funeral of Emperor Meiji in an ultimate gesture of loyalty. What a fun visit so far, huh… Anyway, it definitely felt like a much more modern shrine, with horse statues and some brick parts. I didn’t spend long here, but the shrine buildings were a nice change of pace during my return to Momoyama station. (I also stumbled upon a plaque warning for Japanese giant hornets, so after that I jumped out of my skin every time something even remotely resembling a flying insect came across me, haha.)  

As it turned out, my friend had returned from the mountain victorious as she’d made it to the top, and we arrived at almost exactly the same time at our meeting place. We browsed the souvenir stalls a bit before deciding to call it a day and headed back to Kyoto, where we exchanged our respective stories over drinks and took the shinkansen back to Shin-Osaka.

When we went out for dinner (omu rice! Rice covered in omelet, haha), it was 28 C outside! Gasp! That honestly felt cold to the touch, it’s incredible. Weather forecasts are consistently predicting 33-35 C for the upcoming week, which is still hot, but much more doable than 38+ C.

So we made plans for tomorrow and then went to our rooms, from which I’m typing this blog right now, haha.

Keeping tomorrow a surprise, but there won’t be any castles for once, wow! See you~

[laurenborrelli]

Allora, va bene

Ever since studying abroad in rome 4.5 years ago, I have been anxious about my next trip to Italy.  Could it possibly live up to the experiences I had while living there?  But it was not a matter of competition.  I have graduated university, moved to Boston, worked in Architecture for 3 years, and traveled to 6 countries since.  I am a different person now - so I tried to be excited to experience the same environment in a different way!

My roommate (Stephanie) for my first two years in Boston had moved to Rome to live with her boyfriend.  Since Kate has never been to Italy and knows Stephanie, we decided to venture together to visit her!  And while Stephanie sporadically moved home just 10 days before our flight...we made the most of quickly booking two new hostels in Rome and forgetting the money we suddenly had to spend.  Everything happens for a reason.  And that reason made our trip even better.

Itinerary:

Thursday, April 19th 2018:  My flight departed Boston at 9:30pm. Kate’s left Chicago at the same time.  As I boarded the plan I got a voicemail of her panting “Lauren - I just made my flight - I ran through security - they held the door for me - see you in Dublin”.  So now that I wasn’t going to end up doing this trip alone, the journey began LOL.  We met in Dublin and shared a pints of Guinness and Magners in an airport with the best amenities I have experienced. 6 hrs later we flew to Rome.  It’s 8pm and we plan to take the train from the airport to Termini Station.  I validate my ticket in the machine - all good.  Kate goes to validate her ticket - rotates the ticket the other way - and pushes her ticket all the way into the machine and gets it stuck.  The train is to depart in 3 minutes and our Italian consists of “scusa me” and “mis dispiace” uhhh ticket-a-stuck? Luckily the snail speed of the ticket attendant to walk over, open the machine, get us our ticket didn’t deter us from running to barely make it on the train. WHEW giggles and sweat overwhelmed us.  We capped on the night by checking-in to our hostel and headed to a spot up the street for food.  The dinner consisted of with bread + nduja spread and two personal pizzas.  Safe to say we went to bed with full bellies and tired minds. 

Saturday:  Kate survived her first night in a hostel!  She talked in her sleep the whole night...which I’m sure the 3 french, 2 british, and one not sure guys were pretty thrilled about!  We were the two girls in an 8 person room...bachelor pad!  LOL JK they were all under 20 y/o but very polite and easy to stay in a room with!  The morning walking tour began with a cornetti and cappuccini at a small cafe where  I used to frequent when I had meetings for a design competition Premio Piranesi.  Moving on to Santa Maria Maggiore, through Monti, around the forum before the crowds, and checked-out my old lunch nook at the Campidoglio.  Then down the stairs along Via Maior Arenula to see where my Cartography classes used to take place and crossed the Ponte Vittorio to check out the Vatican all before noon!  There was a choir singing and thousands of people with matching hats...then suddenly the pope comes strolling out in his glass-less mercedes!  He goes zipping around and suddenly comes within 10 feet of us!!! Kate and I look at each other in awe...ok we saw the pope in our first 24 hours in Rome we can die happy now.  We later found out this weekend was Rome’s birthday, so there was a plethora of activities going on this weekend!  After all of this excitement we FINALLY realized how hungry we were!!  Pizza al taglia at La Boccaccia in Trastevere and found my old apartment! Then around the Pantheon and the journey back uphill to rest our legs at the hostel.  With sunburned noses and hungry bellies we headed in Monti to Pasta Chef.  Its a casual pop-in restaurant with a 4.9 rating on trip advisor - the paper plates and plastic cups makes it not seem like a roman restaurant.  But the food was SO FREAKING GOOD!  Grabbed wine and a tiramisu to go and wandered to check out the Trevi Fountain and Spanish steps at night.  Ahhh what a perfect night cap to an amazing first day in Rome!

Sunday:  Early morning at the Coliseum.  My first time here since it was under renovation before!  We beat (some) of the crowds and scheduled a 12am tour.  We went inside anyways just to compare what it would look like during the day.  As we left the crowds were in full form. Walked around circus maximus and say more bday celebrations kicking off.  A huge parade of gladiators took off and we caught them at the campidoglio.  Porchetta sandwich for lunch at my all-time fave Baccanale in Campo de Fiori. Espresso granita at Tazza D’oro, to Piazza Navona, then up to the Borghese Gardens.  An earth day festival was happening.  75% of the sustainable crafts consisted of spray paint.  Aerosols...earth day...jersey show...it all seemed too ironic.  Spritz and pastries in the gardens and home for a quick nap / packing before the midnight tour!  Made it all the way there despite all of the sketchy guys and cat calls and there was not one entrance point open.  Of course the police barely spoke english and made inappropriate comments so we snapped a quick photo of the colosseum light up and quickly jumped in an uber. So did the ticket booth mean 12pm not midnight?...

Monday:  Delicious breakfast at a cafe before our 8am train to Como!  At our connection in Milan, the second Kate stepped foot on the train it started to depart.  Whew barely made it.  After struggling at the grocery store in Como with our luggage / weighing every produce item (what does the check-out counter do then?) and touching produce without a glove.  We made it on the bus with all of the middle school kids getting out of school...lucky us!  Our airbnb was about 30 mins from Como in a tiny waterfront town called Careno.  The hosts met us at the house, showed us everything, and could not have been more helpful!  We basked in the sun on the beautiful balcony with some snacks and rose.  Ahhh now this is the relaxing part of the vacation.  It was a beautiful ten minute walk down to the rocky beach basically through people’s kitchens.  The water was cold and clear with a couple friendly “buon giorno” heard as we wandered down.  Finished the day with some carbonara on the balcony and Italian dancing with the stars.

Tuesday:  An early bus ride to Bellagio to go kayaking!  Kate’s all-time favorite kayaking tour because it was 20% paddling and 80% chilling.  Just us two on a tour with the guide, Mich.  We asked him any questions we could think of about Italy - even how old kids are when they start smoking.  The answer was 13 btw...  We then had lunch of pizza at a hidden gem he recommended called La Grotta.  Wandered through the shops to buy beautiful ceramics at Magda Guaitamacchi.  The owner was an older woman who spent most of her adult life practicing art in London.  She was the sweetest and really made our afternoon.  We then spent a couple hours hanging at the park at the point.  I did a bit of watercoloring and mostly enjoying the turquoise water against the snowcapped alps.  We then hopped on a ferry home and enjoyed a spritz while on board.  Our airbnb hosts graciously got us a reservation for the only restaurant in the tiny town of Careno.  We had the corner table as the server had grown up with our host.  The meal consisted of multiple courses, each with a particular backstory.  All of the fish was caught in the lake and it was a wonderful way for us to learn about the history of the area.  As we ended with the best limoncello I’ve ever had and bill way too discounted, our server grabbed keys and let us into the church next store.  At first it seemed a bit like a horror scene but actually turned out to be magical and show how selfless his actions were.  We went to bed absolutely stunned how we could meet three incredibly kind and giving people all in one day.

Wednesday: We checked out of our airbnb and trekked down the steep walk to the ferry launch with our suitcases.  After running, sweating, and some last-minute help from our server the previous night (we stumbled upon him opening the restaurant) we made it on the ferry!  A leisurely but packed ride to the town of Menaggio on the Switzerland side.  It was the holiday for Italy’s independence after the collapse of WWII, so transportation and store times were a bit skewed.  Luckily the visitor’s center was open and held on to our luggage free of charge!  We strolled through town and had a beautiful waterfront lunch with sammies and spritz.  After espresso and gelato we grabbed our stuff to take the ferry all the way to the train station in Como.  The town of Como was absolutely packed!  Happy we didn’t spend much time there as we grabbed snacks and took the train to our next destination - Modena!  We arrived and checked into our next airbnb just in time to catch sunset on the rooftop.  People were out drinking and celebrating.  We could hear their cheering and signing resonating form the roof it was hilarious. 

Thursday: We took the train in to Parma for our day filled with food tours!  For my bday, my dad had found a guide who would take us to all local producers in region.  It was just Kate and I on our personal tour with her!  First stop: Parmigiano Reggiano!  The name comes from the rural area of Parma and Reggio Emilia (clever).  We got to see every step of the process and enjoy some delicious samples too.  Next stop:  Lambrusco winery! A refreshing wine with vines that are very young - completely different then my experience in Tuscany. Then to the Proscuitto and Culatello! Delicious meats but the parts hanging in the butcher’s stations were a bit much.  How huge these pigs must be is also quite disturbing... Then to lunch at a small restaurant along a horse race track.  Pretty heavy local cuisine which actually put me to sleep on our car ride back into town...oops!  Finished off the tour with balsamic vinegar.  Very interesting of every age is a blend of the old with the new - different then the rigidity of some aged foods.  With bellies full of very rich indulgences, we headed back to Modena and grabbed aperitivo at this awesome spot in town.  Great vibes, super friendly staff, gorgeous men drinking rose and on bikes, well behaved dogs, a bit of house music, and chips with our spritz...ahhh perfect end to a day once again.

Friday: A full day in Modena and my 26th bday!  Morning at cafe with beautiful, innovative interiors.  Walked around town and stopped in several stores for fun shopping.  Walked through the food market where the Chef Massimo Bottura shops everyday.  I made reservations for us to have lunch at his more casual restaurant Francescetta 58.  Once we arrived, boy oh boy was I treating myself on my bday!  We had a wonderful bottle of white wine with our tasting menus.  Kate got the typical 3 course option and I treated myself to the regional 4 course upgrade.  The dishes were the best I have certainly ever had and we left with the largest smiles on our face.  Best meal ever on my actual bday?...this seemed like a dream.  We then walked off a bit of the food and noodled up to the Ferrari museum.  Pretty cool space with very modern architecture and the cars were pretty sick to see.  The design of each car is so immaculate and just like with any museum, its awesome to see people appreciated the design of something.  Being in the design industry this is something I admire and hope I can implement more in my type of work (even if it isn’t something common in the U.S.).  Ended the day with apperitivo and a late sunset on the rooftop.  And gelato cake in my favorite italian flavor of Amarena. Ah what an awesome day!

Saturday: Took the train back to Rome and arrived at a different hostel for the final leg of the trip.  We grabbed a late lunch at Pasta Imperiale - a casual spot similar to Pasta Chef and then headed to my favorite museum Museo dei Fori Imperiali.  It is Trajan’s market which was accidentally found below ground in a street repair!  I have never been in a building that is an artifact in itself!  Great how interactive it is and puts the extensive Roman history into perspective.  An evening then of apperitivo and walking around Monti with a reasonable bed time.

Sunday: Early morning visit to the Trevi and the Spanish steps before the crowds then hopped on a train to see family an hour south!  It was Kate’s time visiting our extended family and seeing the town our great-grandmother (106 this year!) is from.  Carlo and Paula picked us up from the train station and gave us a beautiful tour of their lush garden.  It was filled with vines for wine, fig trees, strawberry planters, and a beautiful brick oven.  After a delicious lunch we headed up to Ventosa where my great-grandfather is from.  We saw the house my nana gave birth to our grandpa.  We saw her old home that is still abandoned and looks like it was bombed just yesterday.  Then went down the hill to Santi Cosma e Damiano and walked through the church that my nana got married in.  She also left her diamond earrings in the palms of the saints the night before she moved to the U. S....The piazza outside is where my great-grandfather apparently saw my nana coming out of church and realized he wanted to date her.  He had come back from the U.S. to find a nice Italian wife that would move with him... and then there were facebook icons graffitied in the wall next door.  Oh how times have changed!  LOL The views from these tall towns are stunning and the younger family members speak much better english then last time!  So it was fun to converse with time about their recent European travels and what life is like form them living in the larger town of Latina.  Took the train back into Rome in the late evening and grabbed dinner at a fancy food court in Termini Station that our hostel host had recommended.

Monday: Last day in Italy!  We walked all through the city up the Giancolo to see the cannon launched at noon.  We walked around the tempietto and hung in the Villa Doria Pamphilj park.  Then down the hill to the Vatican, to find out that it was completely mobbed and would take us forever to even get inside the chapel.  Next time, Kate!  We grabbed lunch at the most modern restaurant I have seen in Rome called Bar del Fico.  It was great and I hope more like these start to pop up!  Similar type of restaurant that Modena is filled with! Then spent the afternoon bopping into a couple art stores, checking out Ara Pacis and back up to grab spritz in our fave little garden bar at Borghese Gardens.  We even stumbled upon a gelato festival!!!  This was an awesome surprise and while I didn’t have the appetite for it, Kate certainly did!  The flavors were incredibly diverse and unique and she had the largest smile on her face the entire time!  We ended the night grabbing pizza at Alle Carrette.

Changes since my last visit:

Security: This was my first experience going through a metal detector before entering a church!  Man things have changed in Rome since I lived here...but for the better!  Better for this precaution then to have a scary situation inside the church.  To get into St. Peter’s square we even went through many check points - one including the guard making me drink my water in front of them. Ah yes just water no acid ;) 

Spring flowers: This time of year there were flowers growing everywhere!  The wisteria around the wedding cake building made it look a bit less...intimidating.  The pink and white flowers along teh spanish steps were beautiful too.

Old apartment: It’s converted into a beautiful restaurant/hotel.  Which is a relief because the place was falling apart and felt like a lost opportunity when we lived there.  Pretty surreal walking around but not a sappy feeling, just happy that I got to have my time there.  

What will never change:

Coffee:  UGH it’s inevitable to not go a morning without a cappuccino or an afternoon without an espresso. Even kate was having a cappuccino every morning by the end of our trip!  They just prepare it so perfectly well that how could anyone not resist.

Work hours:  We would be in a park in the middle of the day and it would be littered with people!  It was awesome to see how lively and happy everyone was, but why aren’t these people at school or work?... Our Parma tour guide had said full-time jobs aren’t prevalent in Italy now, but is it really THAT bad?

Men:  SO. MANY LOOKERS!  Very few people acted on it but definitely intimidating for walking around in the evening as two girls.  However I did realize if you want to feel good about yourself - go to Italy.  If you want to feel bad - come back to the U.S.!

I feel very blessed that the universe brought Kate and I together for this trip.  The trip never felt overshadowed by my previous experiences and I could not have been happier to spend it with someone I care so deeply about.

[splashrollstumble]

Cycling Serbia: Beautiful Valleys and Crumbling Villages

Serbia only recently began recovering from a kind of dictatorship-like government rule that followed the fall of the Yugoslav empire and resulted in assassinations, bombings and generally a bunch of horrible stuff that only really ended properly as recently as 2008. There remains a tense relationship with the disputed region of Kosovo which I don’t fully understand but basically, it’s tense and I try to avoid all that political shit in favor of beautiful nature and tasty beer.

Other than that, Serbia is a fascinating country that appears to be doing well for itself despite economic struggles and an ongoing and yet unresolved attempt to join the European Union. Geographically it benefits from both the spectacular Danube River Valley that runs along the northeast border and the Balkan mountains to the southeast. For cycle-touring, hiking and camping, these are both the highlights of the country.

I started my tour at the Feoni border coming from Romania and cycled a short, relatively uninteresting road to a town called Zrenjanin. Arriving late and leaving early I didn’t get to see the town but I doubt I missed much. The following day I continued along an equally uninteresting road to Belgrade, where I had to take a mild detour to enter the city without using the highway. Whether or not the police would stop someone cycling on the highway is debatable but in European (supposedly ‘westernized’) countries I generally try to avoid it – just in case.

I rested for two days at a cool hostel in Belgrade call Fair and Square, mostly to get some work done but also because it had been two months since my last cycle tour and I was still warming up my legs. It’s actually a really nice hostel and if you go to Belgrade I highly recommend it. My favorite memory is getting hella drunk with a cool Czech guy and laughing inexplicably at ‘The Fifth Element’ on their massive TV. But mostly I just worked a lot and drank all of their coffee.

After that my ‘Serbia’ cycle tour began in earnest.

My first day didn’t start out spectacularly well as I crashed when my wheel got caught in a tram track while trying to cross it and avoid getting run over by a bus. These tram tracks are a nightmare and they’re all over Europe – I don’t know how more people don’t crash and die on them. Anyway, I survived with a mild scrape on my shoulder and continued on to meet up with the Danube River heading east.

I had given away my tent in Croatia because I had to fly to Greece and then back to Hungary and then to America and then back and it would have cost about $200 in baggage costs to take it with – for a tent that cost $20. It was also now getting very cold at night because I had spent a month partying in Berlin instead of cycling so I had made the decision to not buy a new tent and just use the very affordable Serbian accommodation. To some degree, this was a good decision especially because I had a lot of work to do and needed the wifi and electricity – but there is also a wealth of really nice camping spots in Serbia that I felt bad missing out on. If you want to cycle this route I suggest doing it in July or August and taking camping gear. It’s not quite Sweden, but it’s pimp – trust me.

Anyway, so I booked that night at a nice place overlooking the Danube called ‘HostelChe2’ which has dorms for €10 and private rooms for €12. It didn’t include breakfast but the owner made some bizarre dinner that evening which he was kind enough to share with me for free, along with some locally brewed ‘rakija’ which he was proud to reveal he had made in a rusty barrel in his back yard.

Somehow I survived.

The next day I had to navigate a fairly complex dirt path along the Danube river to a ferry crossing which only ran every three hours. This meant if I didn’t make the 1:30 pm ferry I would have to wait until the 4:30 pm crossing, arrive on the other side an hour later and cycle the next two hours in dissipating light along tiny unlit backroads.

Fortunately, I’m a fucking machine and nailed it across the rocky dirt paths at 30km/h to make it in time for the 1:30 pm ferry. This shook a pannier bag off my bike and caused most of the bolts to loosen but still, I made it with 10 minutes to spare for a beer so totally worth it. The ferry crossing was quite relaxing and revealed the true extent of the massive Danube River, which gets quite wide in some sections.

On the other side, I briefly viewed a rather boring looking castle, made friends with a mangy dog and then continued to my accommodation. That night I stayed in a place called Guest House Keserovic which was essentially the ground floor of somebody’s house with two rooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom. Since the other room was empty I had the entire house to myself, for €9 a night! I stayed two nights, got a shitload of work done and rested my legs for the next section, which would be a huge 129km cycle with 1,600m climbing.

The reason for this long cycle was because it passed through a very touristic area of Serbia that is full of expensive hotels which I couldn’t afford. That meant I had to go 129km to the nearest ‘affordable’ accommodation in the tiny village of Kostol. However, despite the massive distance and loads of uphill climbs, it was my favorite day in Serbia, with incredible scenery and 26 terrifying pitch-black tunnels to pass through. I took about a hundred photos of the Danube river as it passed through incredible cliffs and valleys that resemble a small version of the Norwegian fjords.

Eventually, I arrived in Kostol, one of the tiniest little villages I have ever seen – it doesn’t even have a single shop or restaurant. After navigating between some rag-tag street-football-playing kids and crumbling houses I managed to find my €8 accommodation for the night. This consisted of an old couple renting out some rooms on the upper floor of their house and once again, I had the whole place to myself. This place wasn’t quite as nice as Keserovic and while it had a kitchen, the cupboards were full of shoes instead of pots and pans. Luckily they lent me a pot to make my usual spaghetti and tomato sauce in and rustled up a warm beer out of their basement for me. They were actually a really lovely old couple and I enjoyed my night here – the TV in my room even had English movies on satellite and the room had a balcony!

After a morning coffee with my geriatric hosts and confusing attempts at conversation that meant nothing to either of us, I said my farewells and headed off south to a ‘Cycling Adventure Camp’ which I had found on Booking.com. The road was long and boring and featured some annoying roadworks that kept forcing all the traffic into these single lanes with traffic light ‘stop-and-go’ systems. I got hella bored of those quickly and decided that Serbia almost certainly doesn’t have enough traffic police to ensure people obey them, so I started to just cycle through. Soon enough I was surprised to find that they DO actually have traffic cops policing them but luckily those traffic cops DON’T care about cyclists ignoring the red lights.

The roadworks eventually came to an end and I left the main road to cycle down a small dirt road along the Danube River. This was far more peaceful although a bit slow-going. The riverside is lined with tiny houses, each with their own jetty that the owners seem to spend all day fishing off. It looks like quite an idyllic lifestyle, I was quite jealous, to be honest. I stopped at one of these houses which had expanded its property to build a small lodge and restaurant with rooms made out of old wine barrels. Initially, I thought they didn’t have food because they didn’t have a menu so I just ordered coffee but then the owner asked if I wanted to eat. I said yes, expecting a menu, but instead got served a massive three-course meal consisting of bread, salad, sides, Eisbein, chips, grilled halloumi, dessert, Rakija, beer, and coffee – all for €7!

After about an hour of eating, I admitted defeat and the owner kindly wrapped up all the leftover food for me in a takeaway bag. I thanked them kindly and rolled out of the restaurant on to my bike so I could roll some more for the final 10kms. Soon I arrived at this supposed ‘Cycle Adventure Camp’ which was less ‘adventure camp’ and more just a house in a small Serbian village called Negotin. However, the owner was a very keen cycle tourist and he was awesome! He gave me loads of free beer that night and free burek (this shit is the best – google it) and coffee for breakfast. The accommodation was the cheapest of my trip so far (€6.70) probably because it was just a tent, but it had a real bed and heating and electricity and I had access to my own kitchen and bathroom, so… not bad!

I was originally planning to spend two nights at the Adventure Cycle Camp if I met some other cyclists but since I was the only one there I chose to continue in the morning. It was only a short distance to nearby Zajecar (55km) so I chose to take the scenic route along the Bulgarian border rather than the busy main road. This started off very peacefully but after about 20kms suddenly started going uphill quickly. The hills were so steep I had to get off and push the bike for the first time on this trip so far! Plus it was crazy hot and I’d drunk four beers the night before so I was quickly exhausted and sick of it. The hills just kept going up and up and up forever until eventually, I was way up high on a ridge amongst wine farms looking down the valley towards Bulgaria.

Despite the terrible hills, it was a nice ride through a bunch of crumbling old ghost towns that initially appeared deserted but as I found later were not. The towns appeared to be inhabited by a few well-hidden old folks who were almost as decrepit as the towns themselves. Presumably, their children had long since left to find work in the cities, leaving their parents to tend to their gardens while the village practically collapsed around them. It was sad but kind of beautiful and fascinating too, and probably fairly common in any country these days. I could imagine myself buying a cheap house, fixing it up and living out here… as long as I can get wifi.

Eventually, I arrived in Zajecar and found my accommodation which, again, was a room in someone’s house. It was done up very nice like a hotel room though and the price (€12.50) reflected it. My most expensive accommodation so far! I did some washing and ate yesterday’s leftovers before finishing some work and getting to bed early without even having one beer! The next day was a long (100km+) ride to Pirot, near the border with Bulgaria so I wanted to be fresh.

I was up at 6:30 am and had breakfast with my hosts at 7 am, which consisted of traditional Serbian burek and coffee. It wasn’t bad but felt a bit overpriced at €3 since its just pastry and cheese. I expected the ride to be quite difficult that day but despite being double the distance, it turned out to be far easier and more comfortable. Maybe four beers the night before really do make a difference! I passed through some beautiful valleys along a mostly empty and well-paved road passing by more crumbling houses and farmland. Although not as epic as the Danube River valley, this was one of the most picturesque and scenic rides of this trip.

Pirot turned out to be quite a large town with a somewhat burgeoning although not quite developed tourism industry. To the north of Pirot is Serbia’s highest mountain Midzor (at 2169m), a small skiing village, a lake, and some caves. This I only discovered from brochures though, since there is no public transport up to the skiing village and I wasn’t about to cycle. Since the only other way up was a taxi cost about €30, I, unfortunately, was unable to enjoy all that Pirot has to offer. This is what I mean by undeveloped – you would think they would have organized tours? I guess most people visit with their cars.

Once again I had a three-bedroom house to myself with a huge room and balcony, although sadly no kitchen this time. For the first time on this trip, I actually took out my cooking gear and used my gas stove to make some pasta. My legs were killing me by this point so I decided to take a day off before the final ride to Sofia. I spent the day getting work done, wandering around the village, drinking cheap (40p) coffee and checking out the local castle. Fairly uneventful but I think this town has real potential if they only injected some funding into the tourism industry. It reminded me a lot of Brasov. For lunch, I went to a small restaurant and ordered a “gourmet burger” but instead got a huge slab of smoked pork wrapped around cheese. They clearly didn’t understand my order but, whatever, it was pretty good and only a few euros.

I was off early the next day for the final 88kms to Sofia. It was a bit confusing trying to navigate the massive border post and customs control with trucks everywhere but I made it through eventually without issue. Then I had to navigate miles of bumpy cobblestone roads to Sofia because they are doing roadworks on the main highway. It’s one of the worst sections of road I’ve ever ridden… but that story is for another day!

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[saikaigigi]

I had a very short update on my Facebook, but since there's NOTHING to do today at work (or for the rest of the week, for that matter), I figured I'd do an entry here. The weather hasn't really continued warming up that much. I'm still cold in the office and we still have the heater on (or the "stove" as they call it...). Warm coffee is a necessity to stay awake and keep warm. The coffee here isn't that great but I think I've gotten used to it and it isn't the worst thing anymore. The coffee at Pearson was still WAY WORSE. That stuff was poison. And yet, I still drank it...every day. We've been quite busy these days. I got to lead classes on my own for about 2 weeks. The end of the year was kind of "anything goes" in my first year classes. So I did a St. Patrick's Day presentation and a few activities that prompted the students to speak on their own - which was honestly the only time they could, since my JTE for that class isn't very creative and just went through the main dialogue of the chapter over and over until the class fell asleep (seriously, one day I stopped him and said - they're too sleepy to continue. Let's do a short activity to get them awake. We then played Simon Says for 2 minutes.) Anyway, my classes went amazing. We studied 2 songs together, described photos, did word jumbles and drew emotions. And all the students were engaged. My JTE was amazed. I was just like, well it makes sense. They are also all relaxed because they know that grading is over. Really, at this point of the year it's like anything goes. Now the students are on Spring break. I still have to come into work even though there aren't classes. It's whatever, I guess. At least I get paid to sit here and think about literally anything I want and type things like this. Last week, the transfer announcements were made. A few of the teachers I liked are moving to different schools. This happens once a year. The teachers who have only been here for a short time weren't really at risk of transfer, but those who were here for anywhere between 2 to 5 years got picked to move. I never really thought about how hard it would be to transfer because at home, there is such a clear line between work and home life. At 5 you leave and forget about work until the next day. And maybe you don't spend so much time with co-workers. Here, the teachers are assigned for a few years to a school who houses them in teacher housing, and the only people they know are the other teachers and the students. Those people become their life. Their friends. Some of these teachers already live apart from their spouses and children. Sometimes the transfers move them FURTHER away from them. I think it can be really hard to deal with. So I understand why there were so many tears at the goodbye ceremony. While I think it's good for the overall educational system to have an even division of teachers and experience, this is really hard on people. But they're used to it. It's just the way it is. And it will probably be this way for a very long time. Meanwhile in the States, you get teachers who have been there for 30 years who have lost passion because they aren't respected by students and they're just getting worn down. They don't like their co-workers or their students and have a hard time controlling their classrooms sometimes. At this point, I don't know whether or not the Japanese educational system is better or not. In ways, I think it is. But in other ways, everyone just works too freaking hard here! Like, after 5 PM GO HOME AND RELAX! Some of my teachers don't go home until 9PM every day. Like, why? They don't get paid overtime to be there, either! Huh, this became a ramble about education in Japan. Somehow. Recently, Philip and I have been getting out more. Last weekend we made it out to Arita with our friend who is in the Navy and stationed nearby. I have never seen so many pottery shops. It was insane. I definitely want to go back there and explore. We also visited a nice shrine and had a good talk with the priests there and they explained how to buy the fortunes (which had an English translation! They must get a lot of tourists). We talked a lot about how we came to Japan and the charms they were selling. The entrance to the temple was up a set of stairs with a train track at the top, then after you cross the train track you can enter the temple. I found it kind of strange. At the top, it just looks like there are train tracks and then an edge you could fall off of. Philip's cousin came to visit this week. He's a college student studying in Tokyo. He's super full of energy so this week is gonna be fun. We certainly had fun yesterday after we picked him up. We spent all afternoon in Sasebo looking around. I found a flute I had never heard of and decided to buy it. It was sort of an impulse buy, but it wasn't that expensive (until I decided to buy a book to learn with, then things got pricey...the book was more than the flute!). I discovered that I got like a learner's flute, and that these flutes come in bamboo. I really want a bamboo one!!! The flute is a shinobue and it's used in festivals. Also, it turns out that it's the mystery flute from Vampire Princess Miyu that I always loved!!! I may have downloaded that soundtrack when I got home...hehe We found a koto concert in the middle of the shopping strip, and the guy who runs the souvenir shop where I got all my souvenirs for family recognized our Navy friend and we got to clarify where his shop was so we could take another peek. We were met by his son on the corner where we needed to turn (he called him!!), and we were shown inside. We were able to ask questions and explore the shop. I asked about the flutes because I noticed they had more than before. Turns out that they now had the flute I had just bought at the other shop, but the real versions. The shop keeper let me try the flutes (which really surprised me!!!) and I discovered that the one I got was SUPER high pitched like a piccolo. I thought "Great, my neighbor will be so happy..." But actually, I'm thinking of practicing at the beach around the corner from my house. Anyway, I discovered that i LOVE the sound of the flute that has one less finger hole. It's such a nice sound that I can enjoy more by myself without killing anyone's eardrums. He offered to sell one to me for half price. I just could not believe that. Really. What?! I was ready to buy it right then and there! But he said I can take some time to get used to the instrument first. What a nice guy! Not like other sellers who are just like "BUY IT NOW". I truly felt cared for as a customer. They also gave us free plants! I was like Okay! Plants are cool! I'm actually terrible with plants. Philip got me an orchid on our first Valentine's Day and it just died. I got a small flower that was placed in a stone at the culture festival here back in November and I haven't watered it once. I think it might still be alive somehow, though. So...we'll see how long these guys last under my care! They also gave Philip a little squirrel because he asked how much it was and they just said "Please take it!" I think maybe no one was buying it lol. He gave it to me as a present. Oh, and the week before hand I got a deal on some Sailor Moon merchandise at this second hand store in Sasebo called Y.Y....something. Y.Y.Boueki I think? The guy there collects a lot of things, including American things, especially Star Wars. He even has autographed things on display. He let me take a picture with a rare Sailor Moon statue he had. I did make it to GU for the Sailor Moon collaboration, but things sold out VERY fast there and I couldn't choose exactly what I wanted beforehand. But I did get a good amount of things! 3 shirts and a Luna purse! I also decided to snag some pants because I needed some. I now own white pants and they frighten me (I'm going to stain them, I just know it...). also, I'm the biggest size there. That's just unreal. And actually, these pants are slipping a little now that I'm moving around a lot >.> But, I'm just saying, the range of body types here must not be large because if I'm the biggest size, I feel sorry for anyone bigger than me trying to shop for pants. Really. That must suck. I was going to wrap this up but I just remembered the enkai on Friday night that we had. We had a big going away dinner party for the leaving teachers. I had to eat fish and I'm starting not to look forward to the food at these gatherings because I have to force myself to eat a lot of things I don't like. I ate some sort of clam thing, I don't even know what it was. But it came in like a conk shell. Is that even what it's called? God, not growing up near the ocean has never been so apparent as it is now that I'm living by one. I don't know a lot of things about ocean life. Anyway, so each leaving teacher gave a speech and then other teachers would stand up and give a speech back. And it was nuts. They all did a Japanese cheer that I had never heard of. It was actually quite educational. And then the gym teacher who was basically the guy who kept order in this place with the kids, is leaving. So the other gym teacher gave the speech to him. But, not before stripping off his top first. Oh, boy. And then he stood there giving his speech topless and crying. And it was sort of charming to see two men who were such good friends have such a heart to heart moment. Even though one of them had stripped beforehand. XD We went to an after party at a VERY SMALL BAR near my apartment. It was so fun! There was karaoke and it was the most fun I've had with co-workers here. Everyone was singing and cheering and just being totally silly. It was really cool. I'm kind of disappointed that my base school is switching to my other high school now. I'll be there 3x a week. So I'm not as affected by the transfers as the other teachers, but I still feel kind of sad? I don't know the teachers at the other school as well, or the students. It's a bigger school. They're awesome, though. Full of energy and the students are generally pretty smart. Plus, there's a rock band club...so there's that. I think it'll be okay. WOW THIS WAS LONG BYE

[tvkyle]

EPCOT (the one from Disney... maybe you’ve heard of it)

Our family just completed one full year as Walt Disney World® Passholders. We started bringing our little guy to the Mouse House before he was three months old, and I thought it would be great to share some of our experiences and also offer advice based on our 12 months of Magic®. I'm going to share breakdowns of all four parks, including what you should and shouldn't visit. Feedback is welcome. Enjoy!

EPCOT®

The best way to describe Epcot is that it's essentially two parks in one, with a giant lake in the middle. At the entrance of the park is Future World, home to several technologically-themed rides and attractions as well as the Meet-and-Greet with Mickey®. On the other side of the water is the World Showcase, where guests can tour and spend money in small themed areas modeled after almost a dozen nations including Mexico, Canada, the U.S. and other places that aren't in North America. Guess which world our baby was more interested in. Legend has it that, during the design phase, there were two models of the two areas and someone literally pushed them together. They probably followed that with an "Eh? Ehhh? Right?" and Epcot was born.

OVERVIEW

Epcot's defining feature is Spaceship Earth, which is incorrectly referred to by thousands every day as "The Giant Golf Ball." IT'S NOT A GOLF BALL, IT'S A GEODESIC SPHERE. DUHHHHHHHHH. It's the first thing you'll see upon entering, and is home to a dark ride (INDUSTRY TERM!) that is perfect for a midday nap or an end-of-day cool-down. A little further on, you'll experience the often-closed Test Track, Mission: Space now minus Gary Sinise, and a pair of attractions covering the Land and the Seas. One of those is worth your time and the other is... not.Departing Future World, you'll enter the rest of the World. 11 countries are Showcased, anchored by the good ol' USA. This area features a total of two rides, and while they are very similar, they are also a bit different. Mexico has a slow boat ride where you follow Donald Duck's escapades, and Norway is home to a slightly-faster boat ride called Frozen Ever After. I've been told that this is based on a movie, but I can't find anything called Ever After in the Disney® vault. Let's move on. Every country is also home to multiple shops and at least one restaurant, along with pop-up booths serving tiny snacks and drinks. Prepare to $pend $ome ca$h.

BEST RIDES FOR BABIES

There are quite a few nominees here, as Epcot is home to several slow-moving attractions. The bronze bottle goes to Frozen Ever After. This leisurely cruise through Arendelle® features all your favorite characters, including blonde sister, redhead sister, short snowman, and Moose. They sing snippets of those songs from the movie that brought in $1.2 BILLION around the world. Average wait times for Frozen are the longest in the park, usually over 60 minutes at any given time and 120 minutes during peak days.

The silver bottle goes to Spaceship Earth. Dame Judy Dench takes us through the history of the world, including a big shoutout to the Phoenicians, featuring some of the least animated animatronics on the planet. Your tot will be mesmerized. There is even some touchscreen interaction you can do to get a glimpse of your future, in a Jetsons-inspired world. After you depart, enjoy some nifty interactive exhibits similar to Guitar Hero and shuffleboard. FUN FOR ALL AGES. 

The gold bottle goes to The Seas with Nemo & Friends. The fishes and the sharks and the sassy starfish are all present, and (you won't believe this) MARLIN IS SEARCHING FOR NEMO AGAIN. That goofy clownfish. The ride empties into an aquarium... well... not literally. You won't get wet. But you can view all sorts of real fish, turtles, and other aquatic creatures. The combination of the ride plus the exhibits really wowed our little guy, and pushed The Seas to the top of the ranking for me.

BEST RIDES FOR PARENTS IF THEY CAN FIND SOMEONE TO WATCH THE KIDS FOR A LITTLE BIT

Epcot is home to a total of three rides that are better-suited for the grownups, and they are Test Track: Presented by Chevrolet, Soarin' Around the World, and Mission: Space. Soarin' is a leisurely hang-glider journey in front of a big movie screen, and Mission: Space is a constraining, body-crushing nauseator in front of a small movie screen. Test Track: Presented by Chevrolet is a lot of fun, and very interactive. You'll design your own futuristic Chevrolet automobile at the Chevrolet Design Studio. Add big engines, wacky tires, zany paint jobs, nonsensical doors, preposterous spoilers, and more. Then, it's time to board the ride and see what it's like to drive a car. FUN! But, the 65MPH drive outdoors is the high point. Chevrolet is the Heartbeat of America and Like a Rock and I would like a free car. MOVING ON...

THIS RIDE IS POINTLESS AND YOU SHOULDN'T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH IT

You may not come from the land down under, but The Land should go Down Under. As in, into a trash can. SORRY. Recycling bin. BOOM, ROASTED. This neverending boat ride through a greenhouse shows you how food is grown around the world. Wow! Wikipedia says this ride lasts almost 20 minutes, but it feels like it's just a shade under 4 hours. The Land provides no excitement for anyone of any age. If you want to sit down for 20 minutes, there are better places to do so. Also, the outdoor trek uphill then through the Land pavilion is tedious and can wear you out before you even wait in line. Sometimes, the wait is over 30 minutes. HOW? WHY? ARE YOU PEOPLE NEW HERE? Oh, yes. Some of you probably are. 

HOW ABOUT THE CHARACTER MEET-AND-GREETS?

The main character interaction experience is near the front of the park. Mickey, Minnie, and Goofy are ready to HYUK it up. They're in their normal outfits. Get your Fastpass+ though. Wait times without one average 45 minutes or more. Across the hall from that trio are Baymax from Marvel Movie 6®, along with Joy and Sadness from Disney Pixar Universal FedEx Just Kidding's "Inside Out®." If you book a dinner at Garden Grill, you can also get photos with Farmer Mickey, Chip, and Dale. The family-style dinner runs $35+ per person, though. Just an FYI for your infotainment.

BEST ATTRACTIONS TO USE YOUR FASTPASSES ON

The Fastpass+ system is a godsend and a curse. If you score a reservation for a popular attraction, you feel great pride. If there are none available, prepare to wait and wait and wait. This is NOT SO FUN when you have a little buddy. I found that using Fastpasses on Frozen, the character interaction, and The Seas are your best bets. The Seas usually has a short wait, but occasionally throws a 50-minute curveball at you. But, booking those first two Fastpasses is easier said than done. Just keep swimming, dudes.

DO NOT BOTHER WASTING A FASTPASS+ ON THESE

You may be tempted to book a time for Spaceship Earth. DON'T DO IT. The ride perpetually loads, and is always moving, so the line progresses fairly quickly. Also, wait times tend to be below 20 all day long. AND PLUS ALSO: The Land (see above) and Journey into Imagination are not necessary. Journey isn't a boring ride, but it's one of the least-popular. Stash that Fastpass+ and use it elsewhere. Maybe for Test Track if you have someone to occupy the baby for 20 minutes. Just don't leave the kid in a stroller outside while you ride. I feel like I shouldn't have to tell you that.

BABY CARE CENTER DETAILS

Ah yes, the Baby Care Center. The single best place for parents and kids. Every Disney Park has one. Epcot's is located near the Mexico-side connection between Future World and the World Showcase. For the uninitiated, the Center is home to padded changing tables, nursing nooks, and kid-size tables and chairs for feeding the little ones. They also have a microwave. We used this Center extensively. We would pack the buddy's lunch and/or dinner in a small cooler, then heat it up and feed him in a quiet and comfortable space. If you forgot key supplies (diapers, food, bottles, etc) you can purchase them at the Center. It won't be cheap, but that's your punishment for forgetting baby wipes. BONUS: Each Center also has an office-style water cooler, perfect for grown-ups to refresh.

I BET YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THIS

Fireworks are at 9, so have those earphones handy. When you book a Fastpass+ after 8pm, you might get caught by surprise when you walk out of the ride and hear BOOM BOOM BOOM. Your baby will also be surprised, and not pleasantly. So, if you're entering a ride at 8:30ish, carry the headphones and slap them on the baby when you leave. Free tips is what I'm all about here. Unless you want to pay me. Then please do so.

SUMMARIZING IN SUMMATION

Epcot is a fine place to bring your baby. With several relaxing rides, and a colorful landscape, your tiny human will always have something fun to look at. Grownups can eat and drink and spend to their hearts' content. Epcot is worth several repeat visits, and with Guardians® and Ratatouille® rides coming in the near future, it's well-positioned to be a family favorite for years to come.

[watsonrodriquezie]

Finally Getting Lean and Feeling Excellent!

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. In fact, I have a contest going right now. So if you have a story to share, no matter how big or how small, you’ll be in the running to win a big prize. Read more here.

Big-boned. That’s what I told myself I was when I was growing up. I put down to genetics a tendency to gain fat with unnerving ease but what else could I blame? Armed with the conventional wisdom of Australia in the 1980s and 90s, we were simply fed the way we were taught to eat: some meat and vegetables but otherwise plenty of white bread, cereals, skimmed milk, margarine, and other ‘healthy carbs’ like potatoes and pasta. Having something of a sweet tooth myself, I was no stranger to unloading a tablespoon of sugar into my bowl of Weetbix or Rice Bubbles. I didn’t like water (admittedly, the tap water in Adelaide is still the worst I’ve tasted to this day) so anytime I drank fluids, they were enhanced with the sugary goodness of cordial. I often got sick when I was young, generally in the form of lingering colds, but my stomach often played up, too; nausea was a given for me for long periods of time, and if there was a stomach bug going around, I’d be the first to get it. (It would later turn out via a blood test in my 20s that I was borderline coeliac so I’d be surprised if that isn’t connected!). I was a reasonably active child, spending a lot of time on my BMX at the bike track, out waterskiing on the river, swimming in our pool, rowing, and playing weekly games of hockey, so I’m lucky not to have been really seriously out of shape. I was most definitely very soft around the edges though.

It was around the time I left school in 2000 at the age of 18 that friends and I started to take an interest in lifting weights, but we really had no idea what we were doing at that stage, especially as far as nutrition was concerned. We were far more likely to be downing post-training beers than anything remotely helpful like a protein shake or, god forbid, actual food. For the next couple of years I left the weights, and my only exercise was the daily 30-minute ride to and from my job at an award-winning bakery. I can only thank having youth on my side for the fact that the unfathomable number of pies, sausage rolls, cakes, buns and Red Bulls I consumed didn’t go straight to my fat stores and stay there!

The next decade or so contained a variety of approaches to training, nutrition and wellbeing, some more successful or long-lasting than others. I discovered my love of a style of kung fu which I’ve now kept up for 13 years; I dabbled in Ori Hoffmeckler’s Warrior Diet for a few months; I fell in love with kettlebell training and have grown a pretty nice collection of them which I use religiously; I fell out of love with a vegetarian-pasta-obsessed girlfriend (this stuff contained pasta, tinned tomatoes, a couple of carrots and some celery – talk about a malnourished period of my life!); whey protein took its place in my diet and, like an epiphany, crystallized for me the importance protein plays in the healthy functioning of the body; I completed a personal training qualification but ended up not working as a PT after learning the statistic about the very high number of PTs who contract vocal nodules – I was (and still am) a classical singer who relied on his vocal health!

I’d always admired Arnold Schwarzenegger (his dedication and his physique, anyway) so at the time I was doing the PT course, I started training with traditional weights again to get as big and strong as I possibly could. And I did. I got very big and very strong. And fat. I got so fat you could barely tell I’d gained a notable amount of muscle too. Conventional Lifting Wisdom, as I was interpreting it, had been telling me to eat as much as I could fit in my belly, multiple times a day. I was loading up on fantastic meat (my sister managed one of the best butcher shops in Australia), but I was also gorging on peanut butter right out of the jar just to keep my calories up. I really ran with the concept and completely overshot the mark, going from 77kgs to 94kgs (169lbs to 207lbs) at a height of just shy of 6ft in a matter of months, and I did not look or feel healthy or especially happy by this point. It was a real eye-opener in terms of my caloric requirements, too – I’d significantly overestimated how much energy I was burning and how much of which foods I needed to eat for recovery. I have no regrets because self-experimentation has taught me a lot, but I realise in hindsight that this phase may well have created the insulin resistance that stayed with me for quite a few of the ensuing years.

Six months later. New wonderful girlfriend (soon-to-be-wonderful-wife), moved to a smaller place that didn’t fit my weights gear (power cage, Olympic bar and the rest) which was a real problem for my lifting as the introvert in me makes me very much a solo trainee – I’m completely self-conscious in a gym, and I need silence to train effectively – so I got lazy and happy. I was still using my kettlebells every so often and training kung fu but not with the dedication I had been. I lost some fat, but I also lost some muscle so for the next couple of years I was strong but kind of out of shape again with my training in flux without a clear goal. In 2011 we moved our whole lives over to the UK to try our hands at fully freelance classical music careers (my wife is a violinist). Things began well but building a freelance career where you don’t know anyone inevitably means pinching pennies so our eating suffered somewhat. It was never hideous but it was definitely still conventional in the sense that we didn’t really think much about what we ate. Lots of carbs but lots of fat to go with it, plus healthy volumes of heavy British ales. I kept up the kung fu and I bought some cheap kettle bells, but my commitment was somewhat intermittent given our entire living space was one room for two years. Still didn’t look great at somewhere between 87kg and 91kg (190-200lbs). For most of this time though, because we were poor, we walked a hell of a lot to avoid paying for transport!

Still in the UK and careers going from strength to strength, we had our first beautiful boy, Tobias, in 2015 and despite ramping up my training and healthier eating in the months beforehand, I REALLY let myself go once he appeared in our lives. I was sleep-deprived so I constantly fell for comfort foods and beer and wine, and within nine months I was up to 95kg (209lbs). I’d never been heavier or felt worse. They say it takes 28 days to build a habit and three days to break one and during this period, any time I tried to train, I couldn’t create enough momentum to take me to the next session; I couldn’t get anywhere near enough to the ‘28 days’ to establish the pattern I needed to be consistent again. Of course, I was weaker and more unfit than I had been and I found this very depressing so I coped by avoiding it altogether – and I’d always hated avoidance as a coping tactic. I was becoming someone whose choices I couldn’t respect and that was heartbreaking to me. I’d always been confident but that was now diminishing to the point that friends and colleagues commented on it. I even started to get ever-increasing bouts of performance anxiety on stage – scary stuff because I’d seen it end careers. The final straw was a photo that was taken of a group of friends and me on a visit back home to Australia; despite knowing inside that I’d gained a lot of fat, it was seeing my body stretching my t-shirt in all directions and having the photo shared far and wide that was my ‘ugh’ moment.

Enter Primal. I stumbled on Mark’s Daily Apple after looking at hunter-gatherer-related pages (I’d always had a thirst for knowledge about prehistoric peoples) and, like so many others who write these stories, I was instantly dumbstruck by the sense in everything I read. I’d heard bits and pieces about Paleo and a lower carb lifestyle (I tried the Ketogenic Diet in early 2014 with mixed success) but not like this. I ordered The Primal Blueprint days later and finally I saw what I needed presented in a way that used science, logic and common sense without the sensationalism you see surrounding other ‘diets’. This was so much more than a simple diet; as I saw it, it took care of everything that makes the human body and mind thrive, and with countless studies to back it up.

I wasn’t a super high-carb eater so I didn’t suffer terribly from the ‘carb flu’ the way some do when I dropped the last vestiges of a grainy diet (oats and sandwiches and the like) and upped the fat from sources like avocado, eggs, nuts, bacon, fish, heavy cream in coffee, and more olive oil, but still, the weight just flew off – in a matter of a few weeks I was down 6kg. I’m sure some of that was water but I felt so much better too: I was already getting sick far less often, I was sleeping better, my energy was balanced and I wasn’t getting as hungry. I attempted my first 24 hour fast on a major concert day (much to the bewilderment of my colleagues) and I barely noticed on stage that I hadn’t eaten all day. One of the other great benefits of all this for me has been the ease with which I can retain muscle while eating little enough to lose the fat off the top. 13 months on, I’m down 15.5kg (34lbs) and I can see my abs for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE – and I still have most of the muscle I worked so hard for.

Day-to-day, I tend to cycle through the regular components of my diet according to what I’m in the mood for. Every morning I have the juice of half a lemon in hot water before anything else. If I’m having breakfast (I often fast till lunch), I’ll either have a protein shake or some full-fat natural Greek yoghurt and some ricotta with berries, a couple of Brazil nuts and milled flax, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, plus a double espresso with a splash of heavy cream. Lunch is generally a big tin of salmon (bones included, though I take the skin out – I’ve been squeamish about fish skin since I worked in a seafood factory at the age of 19) mixed with a bit of yoghurt, capers, cucumber, lemon juice, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and seaweed salt. Dinners are a mix! It’s always meat and vegetables in some combination (curry, tagine, roast, summer salad, etc), generally without much in the way of carbs. Lamb shanks are my all-time favourite meal, however they’re prepared, and I’ll have some potato with them. I’ll have a spoon or two of rice with a curry.

Post-training I’ll always have a protein shake with creatine and a spoonful of blackstrap molasses or an occasional banana. I was eating a lot of eggs but I’ve largely dropped them of late due to some bloating – which I hope passes as they’re so convenient and tasty! I could certainly improve on my base level Primal diet, though. I really need to eat more vegetables throughout the day, and I need to eat more collagen due to my taste for muscle meat. That said, every day I feel I learn more about how I can best make it work for me so food decisions become easier and more instinctive.

My training schedule varies according to how I feel, but my average week will contain four or five days with some form of training. These will either be heavy kettlebell work (overhead mostly – clean and presses, snatches, and some rows and swings), or weighted dips, chin-ups, pistols and Turkish Get-ups, or a 15-minute farmers’ walk with my heaviest ‘bells, kung fu training, or (lately) some sprints. None of these sessions will exceed an hour – I’m generally done between 30 and 45 minutes. I’ll also knock out a set of pushups or chin-ups or dips when I’m near my doorway chin-up bar or a pair of kitchen chairs!

I travel a lot for work, often for a couple of weeks at a time staying in various hotels touring around the USA. Lots of the tour days will contain two flights (when I’m already jetlagged and having to be out of bed by 5 a.m. after a late concert the night before), and this can add a little guesswork into the equation as far as not knowing what type of meal an airport will have or a promoter will provide – I’ll sometimes simply have to be a little less strict. Same thing with frequent 24-hour trips to spots all over Europe like that great Mecca of beer, Belgium. I’m extremely lucky to have a career that takes me to these wonderful places – as a great food and drink lover, I feel I owe it to myself to make the most of what these cultures have to offer so I might indulge a little. In any case, as long as I get back in the saddle on my return, nothing negative lasts very long at all. The 80/20 principle works very well for me – I’ve proven to myself that loosening the reins every so often doesn’t have to end the game for me, at least once my body and I knew the ropes. I’ve learned that I can get away with a couple of beers here, some wine and chocolate there, or an almond croissant on a special morning out with my wife and son. I don’t always feel great afterwards but it’s good for the soul.

If there’s hope I have to offer to anyone in particular who is contemplating taking the plunge, it’s to new parents. Our respective families live on the other side of the world, so we’re essentially raising our son alone – life is therefore far from easy, and a day’s planned physical activity can often go out the window at a moment’s notice – but the Primal approach is so adaptable that it needn’t ever be derailed. If Tobias woke early from his nap, my kettlebell session would be halved; if I was completely destroyed by a night with him refusing to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, I did a handful of chin-ups and chair dips and called it a day on training till I’d caught up a bit; if I was stressed by his unwillingness to play on his own for an entire day and felt like falling into a packet of sweet biscuits or chips, I was thankfully armed with the knowledge that I was just going to feel awful afterwards. And if I did succumb? I’d appreciate the moment for what it was and move on because I’d be back to craving what my body now instinctively knew what was good for it. This is all still relevant, but now that Tobias is nearly two, the challenge has changed a bit. Now he insists on lifting kettlebells with me (well, he deadlifts the 8kg one at least!), he gets me to help him with dips, he planks with me, he copies one-arm push-ups, and he now enjoys using a foam roller to work out all that tension created by the incredibly demanding situation of being a 23-month-old with his every whim taken care of.

As an aside, growing up in Australia, we took the sun for granted so we never considered taking vitamin D supplements – we simply didn’t need to – but it took me five years here in the UK to realise that it’s a really good idea in winter! Two months ago I was feeling especially drained, I had a constant headache, my sleep was sporadic, I was getting sick a lot again, and my fat loss had stalled. I re-read Mark’s article about vitamin D and checked all my symptoms against a few other websites and realised that was it. I’m now taking 5,000-10,000IU a day and all of the symptoms have gone, including my fat loss plateau – and that’s the only thing I’ve changed. If you’re not getting much sun for a long period of time, it’s definitely worth checking your vitamin D levels.

So that’s my Primal journey so far! I have to commend and thank my wife, Julia. Despite some reluctance at the beginning – she was raised with a more progressive and holistic attitude towards food, and as a result hasn’t struggled with the same fat gain or health issues – she is completely onboard and has been really supportive with all this (useful because she loves cooking and does nearly all of it). I’m also very glad to be able to give our boy the healthy head start not many get at the same age. We’re expecting our second baby in a couple of months so we’ll be back to square one with the sleep issues, but I now know I don’t have to drop everything as a result!

I have so much gratitude to Mark for the wealth of reliable and verifiable information he makes available in a world which is only just starting to shift in the right direction. He’s had the most profound influence on our health and well-being that it’s hard to know where to begin. So thank you, Mark!

Tom

[fishermariawo]

Finally Getting Lean and Feeling Excellent!

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. In fact, I have a contest going right now. So if you have a story to share, no matter how big or how small, you’ll be in the running to win a big prize. Read more here.

Big-boned. That’s what I told myself I was when I was growing up. I put down to genetics a tendency to gain fat with unnerving ease but what else could I blame? Armed with the conventional wisdom of Australia in the 1980s and 90s, we were simply fed the way we were taught to eat: some meat and vegetables but otherwise plenty of white bread, cereals, skimmed milk, margarine, and other ‘healthy carbs’ like potatoes and pasta. Having something of a sweet tooth myself, I was no stranger to unloading a tablespoon of sugar into my bowl of Weetbix or Rice Bubbles. I didn’t like water (admittedly, the tap water in Adelaide is still the worst I’ve tasted to this day) so anytime I drank fluids, they were enhanced with the sugary goodness of cordial. I often got sick when I was young, generally in the form of lingering colds, but my stomach often played up, too; nausea was a given for me for long periods of time, and if there was a stomach bug going around, I’d be the first to get it. (It would later turn out via a blood test in my 20s that I was borderline coeliac so I’d be surprised if that isn’t connected!). I was a reasonably active child, spending a lot of time on my BMX at the bike track, out waterskiing on the river, swimming in our pool, rowing, and playing weekly games of hockey, so I’m lucky not to have been really seriously out of shape. I was most definitely very soft around the edges though.

It was around the time I left school in 2000 at the age of 18 that friends and I started to take an interest in lifting weights, but we really had no idea what we were doing at that stage, especially as far as nutrition was concerned. We were far more likely to be downing post-training beers than anything remotely helpful like a protein shake or, god forbid, actual food. For the next couple of years I left the weights, and my only exercise was the daily 30-minute ride to and from my job at an award-winning bakery. I can only thank having youth on my side for the fact that the unfathomable number of pies, sausage rolls, cakes, buns and Red Bulls I consumed didn’t go straight to my fat stores and stay there!

The next decade or so contained a variety of approaches to training, nutrition and wellbeing, some more successful or long-lasting than others. I discovered my love of a style of kung fu which I’ve now kept up for 13 years; I dabbled in Ori Hoffmeckler’s Warrior Diet for a few months; I fell in love with kettlebell training and have grown a pretty nice collection of them which I use religiously; I fell out of love with a vegetarian-pasta-obsessed girlfriend (this stuff contained pasta, tinned tomatoes, a couple of carrots and some celery – talk about a malnourished period of my life!); whey protein took its place in my diet and, like an epiphany, crystallized for me the importance protein plays in the healthy functioning of the body; I completed a personal training qualification but ended up not working as a PT after learning the statistic about the very high number of PTs who contract vocal nodules – I was (and still am) a classical singer who relied on his vocal health!

I’d always admired Arnold Schwarzenegger (his dedication and his physique, anyway) so at the time I was doing the PT course, I started training with traditional weights again to get as big and strong as I possibly could. And I did. I got very big and very strong. And fat. I got so fat you could barely tell I’d gained a notable amount of muscle too. Conventional Lifting Wisdom, as I was interpreting it, had been telling me to eat as much as I could fit in my belly, multiple times a day. I was loading up on fantastic meat (my sister managed one of the best butcher shops in Australia), but I was also gorging on peanut butter right out of the jar just to keep my calories up. I really ran with the concept and completely overshot the mark, going from 77kgs to 94kgs (169lbs to 207lbs) at a height of just shy of 6ft in a matter of months, and I did not look or feel healthy or especially happy by this point. It was a real eye-opener in terms of my caloric requirements, too – I’d significantly overestimated how much energy I was burning and how much of which foods I needed to eat for recovery. I have no regrets because self-experimentation has taught me a lot, but I realise in hindsight that this phase may well have created the insulin resistance that stayed with me for quite a few of the ensuing years.

Six months later. New wonderful girlfriend (soon-to-be-wonderful-wife), moved to a smaller place that didn’t fit my weights gear (power cage, Olympic bar and the rest) which was a real problem for my lifting as the introvert in me makes me very much a solo trainee – I’m completely self-conscious in a gym, and I need silence to train effectively – so I got lazy and happy. I was still using my kettlebells every so often and training kung fu but not with the dedication I had been. I lost some fat, but I also lost some muscle so for the next couple of years I was strong but kind of out of shape again with my training in flux without a clear goal. In 2011 we moved our whole lives over to the UK to try our hands at fully freelance classical music careers (my wife is a violinist). Things began well but building a freelance career where you don’t know anyone inevitably means pinching pennies so our eating suffered somewhat. It was never hideous but it was definitely still conventional in the sense that we didn’t really think much about what we ate. Lots of carbs but lots of fat to go with it, plus healthy volumes of heavy British ales. I kept up the kung fu and I bought some cheap kettle bells, but my commitment was somewhat intermittent given our entire living space was one room for two years. Still didn’t look great at somewhere between 87kg and 91kg (190-200lbs). For most of this time though, because we were poor, we walked a hell of a lot to avoid paying for transport!

Still in the UK and careers going from strength to strength, we had our first beautiful boy, Tobias, in 2015 and despite ramping up my training and healthier eating in the months beforehand, I REALLY let myself go once he appeared in our lives. I was sleep-deprived so I constantly fell for comfort foods and beer and wine, and within nine months I was up to 95kg (209lbs). I’d never been heavier or felt worse. They say it takes 28 days to build a habit and three days to break one and during this period, any time I tried to train, I couldn’t create enough momentum to take me to the next session; I couldn’t get anywhere near enough to the ‘28 days’ to establish the pattern I needed to be consistent again. Of course, I was weaker and more unfit than I had been and I found this very depressing so I coped by avoiding it altogether – and I’d always hated avoidance as a coping tactic. I was becoming someone whose choices I couldn’t respect and that was heartbreaking to me. I’d always been confident but that was now diminishing to the point that friends and colleagues commented on it. I even started to get ever-increasing bouts of performance anxiety on stage – scary stuff because I’d seen it end careers. The final straw was a photo that was taken of a group of friends and me on a visit back home to Australia; despite knowing inside that I’d gained a lot of fat, it was seeing my body stretching my t-shirt in all directions and having the photo shared far and wide that was my ‘ugh’ moment.

Enter Primal. I stumbled on Mark’s Daily Apple after looking at hunter-gatherer-related pages (I’d always had a thirst for knowledge about prehistoric peoples) and, like so many others who write these stories, I was instantly dumbstruck by the sense in everything I read. I’d heard bits and pieces about Paleo and a lower carb lifestyle (I tried the Ketogenic Diet in early 2014 with mixed success) but not like this. I ordered The Primal Blueprint days later and finally I saw what I needed presented in a way that used science, logic and common sense without the sensationalism you see surrounding other ‘diets’. This was so much more than a simple diet; as I saw it, it took care of everything that makes the human body and mind thrive, and with countless studies to back it up.

I wasn’t a super high-carb eater so I didn’t suffer terribly from the ‘carb flu’ the way some do when I dropped the last vestiges of a grainy diet (oats and sandwiches and the like) and upped the fat from sources like avocado, eggs, nuts, bacon, fish, heavy cream in coffee, and more olive oil, but still, the weight just flew off – in a matter of a few weeks I was down 6kg. I’m sure some of that was water but I felt so much better too: I was already getting sick far less often, I was sleeping better, my energy was balanced and I wasn’t getting as hungry. I attempted my first 24 hour fast on a major concert day (much to the bewilderment of my colleagues) and I barely noticed on stage that I hadn’t eaten all day. One of the other great benefits of all this for me has been the ease with which I can retain muscle while eating little enough to lose the fat off the top. 13 months on, I’m down 15.5kg (34lbs) and I can see my abs for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE – and I still have most of the muscle I worked so hard for.

Day-to-day, I tend to cycle through the regular components of my diet according to what I’m in the mood for. Every morning I have the juice of half a lemon in hot water before anything else. If I’m having breakfast (I often fast till lunch), I’ll either have a protein shake or some full-fat natural Greek yoghurt and some ricotta with berries, a couple of Brazil nuts and milled flax, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, plus a double espresso with a splash of heavy cream. Lunch is generally a big tin of salmon (bones included, though I take the skin out – I’ve been squeamish about fish skin since I worked in a seafood factory at the age of 19) mixed with a bit of yoghurt, capers, cucumber, lemon juice, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and seaweed salt. Dinners are a mix! It’s always meat and vegetables in some combination (curry, tagine, roast, summer salad, etc), generally without much in the way of carbs. Lamb shanks are my all-time favourite meal, however they’re prepared, and I’ll have some potato with them. I’ll have a spoon or two of rice with a curry.

Post-training I’ll always have a protein shake with creatine and a spoonful of blackstrap molasses or an occasional banana. I was eating a lot of eggs but I’ve largely dropped them of late due to some bloating – which I hope passes as they’re so convenient and tasty! I could certainly improve on my base level Primal diet, though. I really need to eat more vegetables throughout the day, and I need to eat more collagen due to my taste for muscle meat. That said, every day I feel I learn more about how I can best make it work for me so food decisions become easier and more instinctive.

My training schedule varies according to how I feel, but my average week will contain four or five days with some form of training. These will either be heavy kettlebell work (overhead mostly – clean and presses, snatches, and some rows and swings), or weighted dips, chin-ups, pistols and Turkish Get-ups, or a 15-minute farmers’ walk with my heaviest ‘bells, kung fu training, or (lately) some sprints. None of these sessions will exceed an hour – I’m generally done between 30 and 45 minutes. I’ll also knock out a set of pushups or chin-ups or dips when I’m near my doorway chin-up bar or a pair of kitchen chairs!

I travel a lot for work, often for a couple of weeks at a time staying in various hotels touring around the USA. Lots of the tour days will contain two flights (when I’m already jetlagged and having to be out of bed by 5 a.m. after a late concert the night before), and this can add a little guesswork into the equation as far as not knowing what type of meal an airport will have or a promoter will provide – I’ll sometimes simply have to be a little less strict. Same thing with frequent 24-hour trips to spots all over Europe like that great Mecca of beer, Belgium. I’m extremely lucky to have a career that takes me to these wonderful places – as a great food and drink lover, I feel I owe it to myself to make the most of what these cultures have to offer so I might indulge a little. In any case, as long as I get back in the saddle on my return, nothing negative lasts very long at all. The 80/20 principle works very well for me – I’ve proven to myself that loosening the reins every so often doesn’t have to end the game for me, at least once my body and I knew the ropes. I’ve learned that I can get away with a couple of beers here, some wine and chocolate there, or an almond croissant on a special morning out with my wife and son. I don’t always feel great afterwards but it’s good for the soul.

If there’s hope I have to offer to anyone in particular who is contemplating taking the plunge, it’s to new parents. Our respective families live on the other side of the world, so we’re essentially raising our son alone – life is therefore far from easy, and a day’s planned physical activity can often go out the window at a moment’s notice – but the Primal approach is so adaptable that it needn’t ever be derailed. If Tobias woke early from his nap, my kettlebell session would be halved; if I was completely destroyed by a night with him refusing to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, I did a handful of chin-ups and chair dips and called it a day on training till I’d caught up a bit; if I was stressed by his unwillingness to play on his own for an entire day and felt like falling into a packet of sweet biscuits or chips, I was thankfully armed with the knowledge that I was just going to feel awful afterwards. And if I did succumb? I’d appreciate the moment for what it was and move on because I’d be back to craving what my body now instinctively knew what was good for it. This is all still relevant, but now that Tobias is nearly two, the challenge has changed a bit. Now he insists on lifting kettlebells with me (well, he deadlifts the 8kg one at least!), he gets me to help him with dips, he planks with me, he copies one-arm push-ups, and he now enjoys using a foam roller to work out all that tension created by the incredibly demanding situation of being a 23-month-old with his every whim taken care of.

As an aside, growing up in Australia, we took the sun for granted so we never considered taking vitamin D supplements – we simply didn’t need to – but it took me five years here in the UK to realise that it’s a really good idea in winter! Two months ago I was feeling especially drained, I had a constant headache, my sleep was sporadic, I was getting sick a lot again, and my fat loss had stalled. I re-read Mark’s article about vitamin D and checked all my symptoms against a few other websites and realised that was it. I’m now taking 5,000-10,000IU a day and all of the symptoms have gone, including my fat loss plateau – and that’s the only thing I’ve changed. If you’re not getting much sun for a long period of time, it’s definitely worth checking your vitamin D levels.

So that’s my Primal journey so far! I have to commend and thank my wife, Julia. Despite some reluctance at the beginning – she was raised with a more progressive and holistic attitude towards food, and as a result hasn’t struggled with the same fat gain or health issues – she is completely onboard and has been really supportive with all this (useful because she loves cooking and does nearly all of it). I’m also very glad to be able to give our boy the healthy head start not many get at the same age. We’re expecting our second baby in a couple of months so we’ll be back to square one with the sleep issues, but I now know I don’t have to drop everything as a result!

I have so much gratitude to Mark for the wealth of reliable and verifiable information he makes available in a world which is only just starting to shift in the right direction. He’s had the most profound influence on our health and well-being that it’s hard to know where to begin. So thank you, Mark!

Tom

[milenasanchezmk]

Finally Getting Lean and Feeling Excellent!

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. In fact, I have a contest going right now. So if you have a story to share, no matter how big or how small, you’ll be in the running to win a big prize. Read more here.

Big-boned. That’s what I told myself I was when I was growing up. I put down to genetics a tendency to gain fat with unnerving ease but what else could I blame? Armed with the conventional wisdom of Australia in the 1980s and 90s, we were simply fed the way we were taught to eat: some meat and vegetables but otherwise plenty of white bread, cereals, skimmed milk, margarine, and other ‘healthy carbs’ like potatoes and pasta. Having something of a sweet tooth myself, I was no stranger to unloading a tablespoon of sugar into my bowl of Weetbix or Rice Bubbles. I didn’t like water (admittedly, the tap water in Adelaide is still the worst I’ve tasted to this day) so anytime I drank fluids, they were enhanced with the sugary goodness of cordial. I often got sick when I was young, generally in the form of lingering colds, but my stomach often played up, too; nausea was a given for me for long periods of time, and if there was a stomach bug going around, I’d be the first to get it. (It would later turn out via a blood test in my 20s that I was borderline coeliac so I’d be surprised if that isn’t connected!). I was a reasonably active child, spending a lot of time on my BMX at the bike track, out waterskiing on the river, swimming in our pool, rowing, and playing weekly games of hockey, so I’m lucky not to have been really seriously out of shape. I was most definitely very soft around the edges though.

It was around the time I left school in 2000 at the age of 18 that friends and I started to take an interest in lifting weights, but we really had no idea what we were doing at that stage, especially as far as nutrition was concerned. We were far more likely to be downing post-training beers than anything remotely helpful like a protein shake or, god forbid, actual food. For the next couple of years I left the weights, and my only exercise was the daily 30-minute ride to and from my job at an award-winning bakery. I can only thank having youth on my side for the fact that the unfathomable number of pies, sausage rolls, cakes, buns and Red Bulls I consumed didn’t go straight to my fat stores and stay there!

The next decade or so contained a variety of approaches to training, nutrition and wellbeing, some more successful or long-lasting than others. I discovered my love of a style of kung fu which I’ve now kept up for 13 years; I dabbled in Ori Hoffmeckler’s Warrior Diet for a few months; I fell in love with kettlebell training and have grown a pretty nice collection of them which I use religiously; I fell out of love with a vegetarian-pasta-obsessed girlfriend (this stuff contained pasta, tinned tomatoes, a couple of carrots and some celery – talk about a malnourished period of my life!); whey protein took its place in my diet and, like an epiphany, crystallized for me the importance protein plays in the healthy functioning of the body; I completed a personal training qualification but ended up not working as a PT after learning the statistic about the very high number of PTs who contract vocal nodules – I was (and still am) a classical singer who relied on his vocal health!

I’d always admired Arnold Schwarzenegger (his dedication and his physique, anyway) so at the time I was doing the PT course, I started training with traditional weights again to get as big and strong as I possibly could. And I did. I got very big and very strong. And fat. I got so fat you could barely tell I’d gained a notable amount of muscle too. Conventional Lifting Wisdom, as I was interpreting it, had been telling me to eat as much as I could fit in my belly, multiple times a day. I was loading up on fantastic meat (my sister managed one of the best butcher shops in Australia), but I was also gorging on peanut butter right out of the jar just to keep my calories up. I really ran with the concept and completely overshot the mark, going from 77kgs to 94kgs (169lbs to 207lbs) at a height of just shy of 6ft in a matter of months, and I did not look or feel healthy or especially happy by this point. It was a real eye-opener in terms of my caloric requirements, too – I’d significantly overestimated how much energy I was burning and how much of which foods I needed to eat for recovery. I have no regrets because self-experimentation has taught me a lot, but I realise in hindsight that this phase may well have created the insulin resistance that stayed with me for quite a few of the ensuing years.

Six months later. New wonderful girlfriend (soon-to-be-wonderful-wife), moved to a smaller place that didn’t fit my weights gear (power cage, Olympic bar and the rest) which was a real problem for my lifting as the introvert in me makes me very much a solo trainee – I’m completely self-conscious in a gym, and I need silence to train effectively – so I got lazy and happy. I was still using my kettlebells every so often and training kung fu but not with the dedication I had been. I lost some fat, but I also lost some muscle so for the next couple of years I was strong but kind of out of shape again with my training in flux without a clear goal. In 2011 we moved our whole lives over to the UK to try our hands at fully freelance classical music careers (my wife is a violinist). Things began well but building a freelance career where you don’t know anyone inevitably means pinching pennies so our eating suffered somewhat. It was never hideous but it was definitely still conventional in the sense that we didn’t really think much about what we ate. Lots of carbs but lots of fat to go with it, plus healthy volumes of heavy British ales. I kept up the kung fu and I bought some cheap kettle bells, but my commitment was somewhat intermittent given our entire living space was one room for two years. Still didn’t look great at somewhere between 87kg and 91kg (190-200lbs). For most of this time though, because we were poor, we walked a hell of a lot to avoid paying for transport!

Still in the UK and careers going from strength to strength, we had our first beautiful boy, Tobias, in 2015 and despite ramping up my training and healthier eating in the months beforehand, I REALLY let myself go once he appeared in our lives. I was sleep-deprived so I constantly fell for comfort foods and beer and wine, and within nine months I was up to 95kg (209lbs). I’d never been heavier or felt worse. They say it takes 28 days to build a habit and three days to break one and during this period, any time I tried to train, I couldn’t create enough momentum to take me to the next session; I couldn’t get anywhere near enough to the ‘28 days’ to establish the pattern I needed to be consistent again. Of course, I was weaker and more unfit than I had been and I found this very depressing so I coped by avoiding it altogether – and I’d always hated avoidance as a coping tactic. I was becoming someone whose choices I couldn’t respect and that was heartbreaking to me. I’d always been confident but that was now diminishing to the point that friends and colleagues commented on it. I even started to get ever-increasing bouts of performance anxiety on stage – scary stuff because I’d seen it end careers. The final straw was a photo that was taken of a group of friends and me on a visit back home to Australia; despite knowing inside that I’d gained a lot of fat, it was seeing my body stretching my t-shirt in all directions and having the photo shared far and wide that was my ‘ugh’ moment.

Enter Primal. I stumbled on Mark’s Daily Apple after looking at hunter-gatherer-related pages (I’d always had a thirst for knowledge about prehistoric peoples) and, like so many others who write these stories, I was instantly dumbstruck by the sense in everything I read. I’d heard bits and pieces about Paleo and a lower carb lifestyle (I tried the Ketogenic Diet in early 2014 with mixed success) but not like this. I ordered The Primal Blueprint days later and finally I saw what I needed presented in a way that used science, logic and common sense without the sensationalism you see surrounding other ‘diets’. This was so much more than a simple diet; as I saw it, it took care of everything that makes the human body and mind thrive, and with countless studies to back it up.

I wasn’t a super high-carb eater so I didn’t suffer terribly from the ‘carb flu’ the way some do when I dropped the last vestiges of a grainy diet (oats and sandwiches and the like) and upped the fat from sources like avocado, eggs, nuts, bacon, fish, heavy cream in coffee, and more olive oil, but still, the weight just flew off – in a matter of a few weeks I was down 6kg. I’m sure some of that was water but I felt so much better too: I was already getting sick far less often, I was sleeping better, my energy was balanced and I wasn’t getting as hungry. I attempted my first 24 hour fast on a major concert day (much to the bewilderment of my colleagues) and I barely noticed on stage that I hadn’t eaten all day. One of the other great benefits of all this for me has been the ease with which I can retain muscle while eating little enough to lose the fat off the top. 13 months on, I’m down 15.5kg (34lbs) and I can see my abs for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE – and I still have most of the muscle I worked so hard for.

Day-to-day, I tend to cycle through the regular components of my diet according to what I’m in the mood for. Every morning I have the juice of half a lemon in hot water before anything else. If I’m having breakfast (I often fast till lunch), I’ll either have a protein shake or some full-fat natural Greek yoghurt and some ricotta with berries, a couple of Brazil nuts and milled flax, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, plus a double espresso with a splash of heavy cream. Lunch is generally a big tin of salmon (bones included, though I take the skin out – I’ve been squeamish about fish skin since I worked in a seafood factory at the age of 19) mixed with a bit of yoghurt, capers, cucumber, lemon juice, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and seaweed salt. Dinners are a mix! It’s always meat and vegetables in some combination (curry, tagine, roast, summer salad, etc), generally without much in the way of carbs. Lamb shanks are my all-time favourite meal, however they’re prepared, and I’ll have some potato with them. I’ll have a spoon or two of rice with a curry.

Post-training I’ll always have a protein shake with creatine and a spoonful of blackstrap molasses or an occasional banana. I was eating a lot of eggs but I’ve largely dropped them of late due to some bloating – which I hope passes as they’re so convenient and tasty! I could certainly improve on my base level Primal diet, though. I really need to eat more vegetables throughout the day, and I need to eat more collagen due to my taste for muscle meat. That said, every day I feel I learn more about how I can best make it work for me so food decisions become easier and more instinctive.

My training schedule varies according to how I feel, but my average week will contain four or five days with some form of training. These will either be heavy kettlebell work (overhead mostly – clean and presses, snatches, and some rows and swings), or weighted dips, chin-ups, pistols and Turkish Get-ups, or a 15-minute farmers’ walk with my heaviest ‘bells, kung fu training, or (lately) some sprints. None of these sessions will exceed an hour – I’m generally done between 30 and 45 minutes. I’ll also knock out a set of pushups or chin-ups or dips when I’m near my doorway chin-up bar or a pair of kitchen chairs!

I travel a lot for work, often for a couple of weeks at a time staying in various hotels touring around the USA. Lots of the tour days will contain two flights (when I’m already jetlagged and having to be out of bed by 5 a.m. after a late concert the night before), and this can add a little guesswork into the equation as far as not knowing what type of meal an airport will have or a promoter will provide – I’ll sometimes simply have to be a little less strict. Same thing with frequent 24-hour trips to spots all over Europe like that great Mecca of beer, Belgium. I’m extremely lucky to have a career that takes me to these wonderful places – as a great food and drink lover, I feel I owe it to myself to make the most of what these cultures have to offer so I might indulge a little. In any case, as long as I get back in the saddle on my return, nothing negative lasts very long at all. The 80/20 principle works very well for me – I’ve proven to myself that loosening the reins every so often doesn’t have to end the game for me, at least once my body and I knew the ropes. I’ve learned that I can get away with a couple of beers here, some wine and chocolate there, or an almond croissant on a special morning out with my wife and son. I don’t always feel great afterwards but it’s good for the soul.

If there’s hope I have to offer to anyone in particular who is contemplating taking the plunge, it’s to new parents. Our respective families live on the other side of the world, so we’re essentially raising our son alone – life is therefore far from easy, and a day’s planned physical activity can often go out the window at a moment’s notice – but the Primal approach is so adaptable that it needn’t ever be derailed. If Tobias woke early from his nap, my kettlebell session would be halved; if I was completely destroyed by a night with him refusing to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, I did a handful of chin-ups and chair dips and called it a day on training till I’d caught up a bit; if I was stressed by his unwillingness to play on his own for an entire day and felt like falling into a packet of sweet biscuits or chips, I was thankfully armed with the knowledge that I was just going to feel awful afterwards. And if I did succumb? I’d appreciate the moment for what it was and move on because I’d be back to craving what my body now instinctively knew what was good for it. This is all still relevant, but now that Tobias is nearly two, the challenge has changed a bit. Now he insists on lifting kettlebells with me (well, he deadlifts the 8kg one at least!), he gets me to help him with dips, he planks with me, he copies one-arm push-ups, and he now enjoys using a foam roller to work out all that tension created by the incredibly demanding situation of being a 23-month-old with his every whim taken care of.

As an aside, growing up in Australia, we took the sun for granted so we never considered taking vitamin D supplements – we simply didn’t need to – but it took me five years here in the UK to realise that it’s a really good idea in winter! Two months ago I was feeling especially drained, I had a constant headache, my sleep was sporadic, I was getting sick a lot again, and my fat loss had stalled. I re-read Mark’s article about vitamin D and checked all my symptoms against a few other websites and realised that was it. I’m now taking 5,000-10,000IU a day and all of the symptoms have gone, including my fat loss plateau – and that’s the only thing I’ve changed. If you’re not getting much sun for a long period of time, it’s definitely worth checking your vitamin D levels.

So that’s my Primal journey so far! I have to commend and thank my wife, Julia. Despite some reluctance at the beginning – she was raised with a more progressive and holistic attitude towards food, and as a result hasn’t struggled with the same fat gain or health issues – she is completely onboard and has been really supportive with all this (useful because she loves cooking and does nearly all of it). I’m also very glad to be able to give our boy the healthy head start not many get at the same age. We’re expecting our second baby in a couple of months so we’ll be back to square one with the sleep issues, but I now know I don’t have to drop everything as a result!

I have so much gratitude to Mark for the wealth of reliable and verifiable information he makes available in a world which is only just starting to shift in the right direction. He’s had the most profound influence on our health and well-being that it’s hard to know where to begin. So thank you, Mark!

Tom

[cristinajourdanqp]

Finally Getting Lean and Feeling Excellent!

It’s Friday, everyone! And that means another Primal Blueprint Real Life Story from a Mark’s Daily Apple reader. If you have your own success story and would like to share it with me and the Mark’s Daily Apple community please contact me here. In fact, I have a contest going right now. So if you have a story to share, no matter how big or how small, you’ll be in the running to win a big prize. Read more here.

Big-boned. That’s what I told myself I was when I was growing up. I put down to genetics a tendency to gain fat with unnerving ease but what else could I blame? Armed with the conventional wisdom of Australia in the 1980s and 90s, we were simply fed the way we were taught to eat: some meat and vegetables but otherwise plenty of white bread, cereals, skimmed milk, margarine, and other ‘healthy carbs’ like potatoes and pasta. Having something of a sweet tooth myself, I was no stranger to unloading a tablespoon of sugar into my bowl of Weetbix or Rice Bubbles. I didn’t like water (admittedly, the tap water in Adelaide is still the worst I’ve tasted to this day) so anytime I drank fluids, they were enhanced with the sugary goodness of cordial. I often got sick when I was young, generally in the form of lingering colds, but my stomach often played up, too; nausea was a given for me for long periods of time, and if there was a stomach bug going around, I’d be the first to get it. (It would later turn out via a blood test in my 20s that I was borderline coeliac so I’d be surprised if that isn’t connected!). I was a reasonably active child, spending a lot of time on my BMX at the bike track, out waterskiing on the river, swimming in our pool, rowing, and playing weekly games of hockey, so I’m lucky not to have been really seriously out of shape. I was most definitely very soft around the edges though.

It was around the time I left school in 2000 at the age of 18 that friends and I started to take an interest in lifting weights, but we really had no idea what we were doing at that stage, especially as far as nutrition was concerned. We were far more likely to be downing post-training beers than anything remotely helpful like a protein shake or, god forbid, actual food. For the next couple of years I left the weights, and my only exercise was the daily 30-minute ride to and from my job at an award-winning bakery. I can only thank having youth on my side for the fact that the unfathomable number of pies, sausage rolls, cakes, buns and Red Bulls I consumed didn’t go straight to my fat stores and stay there!

The next decade or so contained a variety of approaches to training, nutrition and wellbeing, some more successful or long-lasting than others. I discovered my love of a style of kung fu which I’ve now kept up for 13 years; I dabbled in Ori Hoffmeckler’s Warrior Diet for a few months; I fell in love with kettlebell training and have grown a pretty nice collection of them which I use religiously; I fell out of love with a vegetarian-pasta-obsessed girlfriend (this stuff contained pasta, tinned tomatoes, a couple of carrots and some celery – talk about a malnourished period of my life!); whey protein took its place in my diet and, like an epiphany, crystallized for me the importance protein plays in the healthy functioning of the body; I completed a personal training qualification but ended up not working as a PT after learning the statistic about the very high number of PTs who contract vocal nodules – I was (and still am) a classical singer who relied on his vocal health!

I’d always admired Arnold Schwarzenegger (his dedication and his physique, anyway) so at the time I was doing the PT course, I started training with traditional weights again to get as big and strong as I possibly could. And I did. I got very big and very strong. And fat. I got so fat you could barely tell I’d gained a notable amount of muscle too. Conventional Lifting Wisdom, as I was interpreting it, had been telling me to eat as much as I could fit in my belly, multiple times a day. I was loading up on fantastic meat (my sister managed one of the best butcher shops in Australia), but I was also gorging on peanut butter right out of the jar just to keep my calories up. I really ran with the concept and completely overshot the mark, going from 77kgs to 94kgs (169lbs to 207lbs) at a height of just shy of 6ft in a matter of months, and I did not look or feel healthy or especially happy by this point. It was a real eye-opener in terms of my caloric requirements, too – I’d significantly overestimated how much energy I was burning and how much of which foods I needed to eat for recovery. I have no regrets because self-experimentation has taught me a lot, but I realise in hindsight that this phase may well have created the insulin resistance that stayed with me for quite a few of the ensuing years.

Six months later. New wonderful girlfriend (soon-to-be-wonderful-wife), moved to a smaller place that didn’t fit my weights gear (power cage, Olympic bar and the rest) which was a real problem for my lifting as the introvert in me makes me very much a solo trainee – I’m completely self-conscious in a gym, and I need silence to train effectively – so I got lazy and happy. I was still using my kettlebells every so often and training kung fu but not with the dedication I had been. I lost some fat, but I also lost some muscle so for the next couple of years I was strong but kind of out of shape again with my training in flux without a clear goal. In 2011 we moved our whole lives over to the UK to try our hands at fully freelance classical music careers (my wife is a violinist). Things began well but building a freelance career where you don’t know anyone inevitably means pinching pennies so our eating suffered somewhat. It was never hideous but it was definitely still conventional in the sense that we didn’t really think much about what we ate. Lots of carbs but lots of fat to go with it, plus healthy volumes of heavy British ales. I kept up the kung fu and I bought some cheap kettle bells, but my commitment was somewhat intermittent given our entire living space was one room for two years. Still didn’t look great at somewhere between 87kg and 91kg (190-200lbs). For most of this time though, because we were poor, we walked a hell of a lot to avoid paying for transport!

Still in the UK and careers going from strength to strength, we had our first beautiful boy, Tobias, in 2015 and despite ramping up my training and healthier eating in the months beforehand, I REALLY let myself go once he appeared in our lives. I was sleep-deprived so I constantly fell for comfort foods and beer and wine, and within nine months I was up to 95kg (209lbs). I’d never been heavier or felt worse. They say it takes 28 days to build a habit and three days to break one and during this period, any time I tried to train, I couldn’t create enough momentum to take me to the next session; I couldn’t get anywhere near enough to the ‘28 days’ to establish the pattern I needed to be consistent again. Of course, I was weaker and more unfit than I had been and I found this very depressing so I coped by avoiding it altogether – and I’d always hated avoidance as a coping tactic. I was becoming someone whose choices I couldn’t respect and that was heartbreaking to me. I’d always been confident but that was now diminishing to the point that friends and colleagues commented on it. I even started to get ever-increasing bouts of performance anxiety on stage – scary stuff because I’d seen it end careers. The final straw was a photo that was taken of a group of friends and me on a visit back home to Australia; despite knowing inside that I’d gained a lot of fat, it was seeing my body stretching my t-shirt in all directions and having the photo shared far and wide that was my ‘ugh’ moment.

Enter Primal. I stumbled on Mark’s Daily Apple after looking at hunter-gatherer-related pages (I’d always had a thirst for knowledge about prehistoric peoples) and, like so many others who write these stories, I was instantly dumbstruck by the sense in everything I read. I’d heard bits and pieces about Paleo and a lower carb lifestyle (I tried the Ketogenic Diet in early 2014 with mixed success) but not like this. I ordered The Primal Blueprint days later and finally I saw what I needed presented in a way that used science, logic and common sense without the sensationalism you see surrounding other ‘diets’. This was so much more than a simple diet; as I saw it, it took care of everything that makes the human body and mind thrive, and with countless studies to back it up.

I wasn’t a super high-carb eater so I didn’t suffer terribly from the ‘carb flu’ the way some do when I dropped the last vestiges of a grainy diet (oats and sandwiches and the like) and upped the fat from sources like avocado, eggs, nuts, bacon, fish, heavy cream in coffee, and more olive oil, but still, the weight just flew off – in a matter of a few weeks I was down 6kg. I’m sure some of that was water but I felt so much better too: I was already getting sick far less often, I was sleeping better, my energy was balanced and I wasn’t getting as hungry. I attempted my first 24 hour fast on a major concert day (much to the bewilderment of my colleagues) and I barely noticed on stage that I hadn’t eaten all day. One of the other great benefits of all this for me has been the ease with which I can retain muscle while eating little enough to lose the fat off the top. 13 months on, I’m down 15.5kg (34lbs) and I can see my abs for the first time in my ENTIRE LIFE – and I still have most of the muscle I worked so hard for.

Day-to-day, I tend to cycle through the regular components of my diet according to what I’m in the mood for. Every morning I have the juice of half a lemon in hot water before anything else. If I’m having breakfast (I often fast till lunch), I’ll either have a protein shake or some full-fat natural Greek yoghurt and some ricotta with berries, a couple of Brazil nuts and milled flax, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, plus a double espresso with a splash of heavy cream. Lunch is generally a big tin of salmon (bones included, though I take the skin out – I’ve been squeamish about fish skin since I worked in a seafood factory at the age of 19) mixed with a bit of yoghurt, capers, cucumber, lemon juice, olive oil, apple cider vinegar, and seaweed salt. Dinners are a mix! It’s always meat and vegetables in some combination (curry, tagine, roast, summer salad, etc), generally without much in the way of carbs. Lamb shanks are my all-time favourite meal, however they’re prepared, and I’ll have some potato with them. I’ll have a spoon or two of rice with a curry.

Post-training I’ll always have a protein shake with creatine and a spoonful of blackstrap molasses or an occasional banana. I was eating a lot of eggs but I’ve largely dropped them of late due to some bloating – which I hope passes as they’re so convenient and tasty! I could certainly improve on my base level Primal diet, though. I really need to eat more vegetables throughout the day, and I need to eat more collagen due to my taste for muscle meat. That said, every day I feel I learn more about how I can best make it work for me so food decisions become easier and more instinctive.

My training schedule varies according to how I feel, but my average week will contain four or five days with some form of training. These will either be heavy kettlebell work (overhead mostly – clean and presses, snatches, and some rows and swings), or weighted dips, chin-ups, pistols and Turkish Get-ups, or a 15-minute farmers’ walk with my heaviest ‘bells, kung fu training, or (lately) some sprints. None of these sessions will exceed an hour – I’m generally done between 30 and 45 minutes. I’ll also knock out a set of pushups or chin-ups or dips when I’m near my doorway chin-up bar or a pair of kitchen chairs!

I travel a lot for work, often for a couple of weeks at a time staying in various hotels touring around the USA. Lots of the tour days will contain two flights (when I’m already jetlagged and having to be out of bed by 5 a.m. after a late concert the night before), and this can add a little guesswork into the equation as far as not knowing what type of meal an airport will have or a promoter will provide – I’ll sometimes simply have to be a little less strict. Same thing with frequent 24-hour trips to spots all over Europe like that great Mecca of beer, Belgium. I’m extremely lucky to have a career that takes me to these wonderful places – as a great food and drink lover, I feel I owe it to myself to make the most of what these cultures have to offer so I might indulge a little. In any case, as long as I get back in the saddle on my return, nothing negative lasts very long at all. The 80/20 principle works very well for me – I’ve proven to myself that loosening the reins every so often doesn’t have to end the game for me, at least once my body and I knew the ropes. I’ve learned that I can get away with a couple of beers here, some wine and chocolate there, or an almond croissant on a special morning out with my wife and son. I don’t always feel great afterwards but it’s good for the soul.

If there’s hope I have to offer to anyone in particular who is contemplating taking the plunge, it’s to new parents. Our respective families live on the other side of the world, so we’re essentially raising our son alone – life is therefore far from easy, and a day’s planned physical activity can often go out the window at a moment’s notice – but the Primal approach is so adaptable that it needn’t ever be derailed. If Tobias woke early from his nap, my kettlebell session would be halved; if I was completely destroyed by a night with him refusing to sleep for more than 30 minutes at a time, I did a handful of chin-ups and chair dips and called it a day on training till I’d caught up a bit; if I was stressed by his unwillingness to play on his own for an entire day and felt like falling into a packet of sweet biscuits or chips, I was thankfully armed with the knowledge that I was just going to feel awful afterwards. And if I did succumb? I’d appreciate the moment for what it was and move on because I’d be back to craving what my body now instinctively knew what was good for it. This is all still relevant, but now that Tobias is nearly two, the challenge has changed a bit. Now he insists on lifting kettlebells with me (well, he deadlifts the 8kg one at least!), he gets me to help him with dips, he planks with me, he copies one-arm push-ups, and he now enjoys using a foam roller to work out all that tension created by the incredibly demanding situation of being a 23-month-old with his every whim taken care of.

As an aside, growing up in Australia, we took the sun for granted so we never considered taking vitamin D supplements – we simply didn’t need to – but it took me five years here in the UK to realise that it’s a really good idea in winter! Two months ago I was feeling especially drained, I had a constant headache, my sleep was sporadic, I was getting sick a lot again, and my fat loss had stalled. I re-read Mark’s article about vitamin D and checked all my symptoms against a few other websites and realised that was it. I’m now taking 5,000-10,000IU a day and all of the symptoms have gone, including my fat loss plateau – and that’s the only thing I’ve changed. If you’re not getting much sun for a long period of time, it’s definitely worth checking your vitamin D levels.

So that’s my Primal journey so far! I have to commend and thank my wife, Julia. Despite some reluctance at the beginning – she was raised with a more progressive and holistic attitude towards food, and as a result hasn’t struggled with the same fat gain or health issues – she is completely onboard and has been really supportive with all this (useful because she loves cooking and does nearly all of it). I’m also very glad to be able to give our boy the healthy head start not many get at the same age. We’re expecting our second baby in a couple of months so we’ll be back to square one with the sleep issues, but I now know I don’t have to drop everything as a result!

I have so much gratitude to Mark for the wealth of reliable and verifiable information he makes available in a world which is only just starting to shift in the right direction. He’s had the most profound influence on our health and well-being that it’s hard to know where to begin. So thank you, Mark!

Tom

[rodrigohyde]

The 7 most basic rules for building mass, according to one of the world's strongest men

All novice weightlifters typically have one basic goal in mind: Gain mass. Then again, building muscle is a top priority for just about every young gun in the gym, and doubly so for thin guys who've just started lifting.

[RELATED1]

So who better to ask about mass-building than a bodybuilding legend? Stan “Rhino” Efferding is an IFBB Professional Bodybuilder and world record-holding powerlifter. Stan is known as the “World’s Strongest Bodybuilder” and is one of only six men in history in any weight class to have ever totaled over 2,300 lbsraw in competition, which he did at the age of 45.

Here, Efferding dishes out some cold, hard facts about getting big, strong, and lean. Apply these 7 principles and results are guaranteed.

  The 7 most basic rules for building mass, according to one of the world's strongest men

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1. Sleep—a lot

Sure, everybody knows this, but do you do it? Pound all the protein shakes and pre-workout-riddled-Tasmanian-devil drinks you want, but if you aren't getting your eight hours every night, you're wasting your time and money. I slept up to 11 hours a day when I squatted 905 pounds in training and set three world records. That was 9 hours every night and a couple 60-minute naps after training and eating. You grow when you sleep—not when you train—and failing to get enough of it can seriously impede growth, recovery, mental acuity, energy levels and hormone levels.

  2. Eat healthy, protein-rich foods

This one is a no-brainer too, but how much and which foods you take in can make a huge difference in your progress. Start with 1 gram of animal-based protein per pound of bodyweight and gradually work up to 1.5 and eventually 2 as you progress. I prefer eggs, steak, whole milk, 4% fat cottage cheese, whole-milk Kefir, salmon, and at least 88 percent-lean ground beef. Bodybuilders are plenty familiar with boneless skinless chicken, tuna, and white fish, but save it for when you’re dieting down. You'll need the saturated fats and cholesterol to keep testosterone levels high.

Stick with high-quality, protein-dense animal proteins, though. Heavy-fat foods such as hot dogs, mayonnaise, cheese, bacon, and fast food often yield inadequate quantities of protein and bog down your digestive system, preventing you from eating your next meal on time. The squeamish may not want to hear it, but fast food meats can be as much or more than 90% fat and chock-full of ground bone and tendon that your body can't use. Five meals per day, each with 40-50 grams of protein, is a good starting goal.

Gradually train your metabolism to process all that food. You'll have no better luck trying to eat 5,000 calories tomorrow than you will loading 500 pounds on the bench and asking for a lift off. Start with what you can eat and add calories every week or two, making sure that your training supports the increasing intake. After eating all your proteins and fats, toss in some carbs to fuel your workouts and to help prevent catabolism. Steer clear of white-flour foods and stick with healthy servings of oatmeal, rice and potatoes. In the powerlifting world, "mass moves mass”—so gradually increase calories to increase mass.

3. Drink water with a little salt

Water is better absorbed with salt. You can drink all the water you want, but if you aren't taking in enough sodium, then most of that water will go to waste right along with your worthless mega doses of vitamins (more on that later).  

Newer research shows higher levels of sodium are associated with a lower risk of cardiovascular problems. Salt is a bigger performance enhancer than creatine. Sodium increases amino acid absorption and improves carbohydrate storage. Remember neurons from basic biology? Then hopefully you remember that every muscle in your body is fired by a chemical reaction between those neurons called the sodium potassium pump.  

Most of us simply need to know that when consumed in moderation, at regular intervals, and together with a solid workout routine, salt can be a big performance enhancer. Your body can't store sodium for future use, so you'll need the recommended 3,000 mg a day plus your workload replacement which can be anywhere from another 1,000-2,000 mg. (NOTE: Those with predispositions to heart conditions or high blood pressure should talk to your doctor before upping your salt intake. Again, this number is for guys who train hard.)

  4. Work hard

Shouldn't this have been first? Nope. All you do in the gym is break down muscle tissue. All the growth comes from the recovery phase (eating and sleeping), so lifting weights is not the most important part of a mass or strength program. The great thing about being a beginner is just about any weightlifting program accompanied with the proper recovery (eating and sleeping) will yield results. There is no best program—it all depends on your goals. Lift heavy weights for a few sets of about five reps using basic, multi-joint mass building movements like squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, bench, T-bar rows for an hour a few times a week and you'll get bigger and stronger. Don't overthink it. Just be consistent and work hard.  

5. Be careful with cardio

There's an old saying in the Bizarro world of 300-pound bodybuilders and powerlifters: "Don't run if you can walk, don't stand if you can sit, and don't stay awake if you can sleep.” That pretty much sums up my opinion of cardio.

Either you want to be huge and strong or you want to run the New York Marathon. Pick one. There aren't many (if any) Olympic marathoners who can bench press 600 pounds, and there aren't many Olympic powerlifters who could run a marathon.

Having said that, some brief high-intensity interval training (HIIT) training sessions here and there can help accelerate recovery by increasing blood flow, clearing lactic acid and reducing latent muscle soreness. On mornings after a huge leg day, I'd often do about eight brief (20 seconds), fast (130 rpm), moderate resistance (15) intervals on the stationary bike to aid recovery. And don't worry about your cardio—if you're not gasping for air after a big set of squats then you're just not working hard enough. Interval training and heavy lifting have both been shown to increase metabolism higher and for longer than traditional steady-state cardio. 

6. Be smart about supplements

No can of pills will ever replace food. After nearly 30 years of competing and having access to all the free supplements I could ever want, I've found that there's very little that actually helps your progress, assuming you've got your meals right. Dieting is a different matter, but on a well-fed mass program, save your money for food.

The most important aspect of supplementation is correcting any vitamin or mineral deficiencies, which are rare but can exist. A blood test can help identify those. On the other hand, mega-dosing a bunch of vitamins is not only worthless, but also potentially harmful. Nearly all the scientific research touting the benefits of vitamins has been done on vitamin-deficient subjects, so claims are made based on those results. Very little evidence exists showing any benefit of mega-dosing for non-deficient subjects. However, even scientists who have read and agree with the research still take a basic multi-vitamin (100% RDAs) just because it's hard to know where the deficiencies may lurk. I do the same thing for no particularly good reason. Beyond that, I focus most of my supplementation around my workout.

My pre-/intra-workout drink is a cooler full of ice water, carbs, BCAAs (20 g), creatine (10 g) and a mineral/electrolyte tablet (Nuun tablet). My post-workout drink when I was competing was whey isolate and carb powder, but now it's just a large shaker of chocolate milk, which serves about the same purpose. I always have some quick post-workout nutrition and then eat an hour after I train. I'll also admit to being on the bandwagon for a few other supplements that I've convinced myself will benefit my long-term health, so I take 4,000 mg vitamin D3, 300 mg CoQ10 and 2,000mg of Omega-3s daily. I also used to take ZMA before bed when I was competing. That's about the extent of what I'm willing to admit I spend my money on, although I often question the value of the investment because when I miss a week or two of any of the above, I don't notice any difference in performance.

But if I miss a meal or two or have a short night’s sleep, then I immediately feel it in my workouts. 

7. Set goals and track your progress

I literally have years of spreadsheets with days of the month across the top and a long list of daily requirements down the left side. I cross them off every day. Its purpose is to keep me honest. Everything I wrote about above is on that list. I weigh myself every morning and record the results. I write in how many meals I ate that day, how much sleep I got last night and if I was able to nap. I check off every supplement I've taken, write down my best lift if I trained that day and on and on. I do this because I know that my success is entirely within my control and if I do everything I'm supposed to do, I will succeed. 

When I do blood tests and find an area to improve, whether it be low or high iron or Hemoglobin A1C or cholesterol climbing during certain phases of training, I can quickly make adjustments for that in my diet and supplementation program and track it until the next test to verify that I've solved the problem. 

Never underestimate the value of setting goals and tracking your progress. I want to be able to measure my progress daily, weekly, monthly and yearly to make sure that I'm succeeding at my goals and I want to hold myself accountable.

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Mass building

from Men's Fitness http://www.mensfitness.com/training/build-muscle/7-most-basic-rules-building-mass-according-one-worlds-strongest-men