#I’m proud but I’m also going to try so hard not to suddenly drop it again

[kyuyua]

It’s almost 12pm but I had the random urge to finally do this so here it is:

I actually started the rewrite! 🎉🎉

I remember watching a yt vid once that said you feel less likely to do/commit to something after you’ve announced that you’re trying to do something and uh… yeah that def applies to me. So I haven’t said anything.

I only finally started writing the rewrite a week ago tho, so it’ll be a long while until anything is actually posted since I want to at least 1) rewrite everything beyond what I’ve already written and 2) churn out a bunch more chapters so I’m ahead in case I burn out like I know I will at some point.

Anyway here’s the current word count:

I think I used to be able to write some 7k a week when I was writing SAS before, so it checks out at least.

Now, of course, since it’s a rewrite of a fic I wrote when I was 15, there’s quite a bit different so far. Right now I’ve only written the first chapter (? Tbh I’m not labeling it as chapters right now I’m just writing and I’ll see how I want to split it) but I’ve already covered content from both chs 1 and 2 of the old version. A LOT has been cut bc I didn’t like how much fluff I was putting into each chapter and pretty much stalling my own work. Zoro joining Luffy back at Fuusha was not even A THIRD of what I’ve had planned for this series. So now, a lot of that fluff has been removed to get to the barebones of the situation and continue to move the plot along to new things hopefully before 50k+ words this time.

I still can’t promise when anything will get published but please have peace in mind that it will eventually. I’m actually finally working on it now that I’m back into the fandom 💜💜

I don’t think I’ll formally announce the fic’s status until I’m well into the rewrite, so for now I’ll keep giving progress updates here. Lucky you guys!

Also, I’ll be putting both the rewrite and the old version (which I think I’m gonna give it’s old name back since the rewrite will be called SAS) in a series. I might add some side stories in there too when I get to them?

How does Dusk Before Dawn sound?

[rose-pearls]

Ciao potresti fare Luke castellan x fem reader dove il lettore fa ingelosire Luke ? Grazie !

Hi! I loved this request so here it is! Hopefully you like it :))

I am also thinking of writing for Clarisse so if you have any request you can always send them!

Request: a Luke x reader where the reader makes Luke jealous

Main taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989 (open for every fandom)

The Camp had been plain chaos in the last few days, the reason for that was capture the flag. The infamous game had taken place yesterday and the blue team had once again won, with Annabeth as your leader. The girl was smart, but you also had the best swordman on her team.

Luke Castellan. You had fallen for the boy the moment you met him, but he never seemed to reciprocate the feelings. He was handsome, everyone with eyes could see that but he was also kind and sweet. He had helped you a lot when you arrived, feeling lost until your mother, Athena claimed you. After being claimed the two of you still talked a little bit but not as much.

“Oh, Luke you are so funny.”, you hear Claire say as she starts to giggle and curling a whisp of hair around her finger. The boy soaks up the attention of course, smirking back at her.

“I can see you glaring at her, maybe try to be more subtle,” you hear Annie say, making you look at her and let out a groan.

“I know, I really am an idiot, right? To believe that something could happen with him,” the younger girl looks conflicted at your words, but you shake your head.

“There you two are, I have been looking for you everywhere,” Percy says as he drops on the seat next to Annabeth, making the two of you looking at him with wide eyes.

“We are literally at a table in the middle of the camp, how hard can it be to find us?”, Annie asks him, and you can’t help but laugh quietly as the two of them start to bicker again, they really were like an old married couple.

You hear the same annoying giggle once again and try not to smash your potatoes even harder, but the jealousy seems to be reaching a boiling point. It was stupid to feel like this, particularly when nothing had happened between you and the Hermes boy. The girl was also a daughter from Aphrodite, she was stunning.

The clearing of a throat makes you look up and you find Annie and Percy looking at you with equally worried gazes.

“What?”, you can’t help but ask, feeling self-conscious at the stares.

“I think that you just mashed these potatoes even more then I thought was possible,” Annie says, and you look at your previously mashed potatoes who were now looking a bit liquid.

“Remind me to never be on your bad side,” Percy says, and you shake your head in response, a sigh leaving your lips.

“Sorry, I just had something on my mind,” you tell them, hoping that the two of them would drop the subject but you were in front of Annie and Percy, so it wasn’t going to happen.

“Is that something, the blond Aphrodite daughter hanging off Luke’s arm?”, Percy asks, and Annabeth slaps him with a glare making him look at her with wide eyes.

“It is. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure she is a great girl but yes, it is them on my mind and her giggling every five seconds,” you tell them, making the two of them looking at you in sympathy. 

“Why don’t you make him jealous?”, Percy asks, and both Annabeth and you turn to look at the boy with wide eyes.

“Wait what?”, you can’t help but ask, waiting for some more explanation.

“It doesn’t seem like Luke is really interested in the conversation they are having, but every time he sees you turn around, he flashes her a dazzling smile. So, play his game and show him that you can also flirt with other people,” Annabeth looks unhappy with Percy’s answer, but you can’t help but think it through, maybe it would show you if he could possibly be interested or not.

“You’re right,” you say suddenly, cutting off the two.

“Wait what?”

“Really?”, Percy can’t help but ask before a proud smile appears on his lips, making Annie scoff.

“You can’t really be entertaining his stupid idea!”, you say but you shrug your shoulders.

“I need to know if he is interested or not, otherwise I’ll turn crazy. This way I know and if he isn’t I can move on,” you tell her calmly while she looks at you with wide eyes.

“I can’t believe you are doing this,” she says, and you roll your eyes at her words.

“We can’t all have a Percy looking at us with puppy dog eyes,” you tell her with a wink, while the boy seems to wake up from his gazing, a scarlet brush coating his cheeks.

“Now, the only thing I need to find is the person to make Luke jealous with,” Annabeth sighs but a playful smirk is playing on her lips.

“I know one person that will drive him mad,” this makes both Percy, and you turn to look at her.

“Who?”, Percy and you ask at the same time.

“Max, from the Apollo cabin. They arrived at the same time and there has always been some kind of rivalry between the two of them,” the whispers as the three of you are huddled together to prevent someone overhearing. 

“Wait, isn’t that the guy who nearly beat Luke with the sword?”, Percy asks, and you try to remember the last time there was a contest.

“Keyword, nearly,” Annabeth says, still Luke’s number one supporter.

“That is perfect!”, you say and the two of them look at you with suspicious eyes.

“What do you mean?”, Percy asks after a moment.

“I’m going to ask Max for some pointers on my sword fighting, that way I can get close to him for a reason, and it is also something that will get Luke’s attention.”

“He will go crazy seeing Max giving you some directions,” Annabeth says, looking unsure but there is a sparkle of mischief in her eyes.

“Alright team let’s get this quest on the road,” Percy says excitedly, and you can’t help but laugh.

“Now you are going to Max and the both of us will make sure that Luke is watching!”, Percy tells you as he starts pushing you off your seat.

“Good luck!”, Annie yells and you glare at her as a few campers look at you.

You try to nervously put your shirt right and your hair a bit better before telling yourself that this was ridiculous and just marching towards Max.

“Max, hi,” the boy turns to look at you, he looks surprised but then again you never really talked.

“Hi, what brings you here?”, he asks kindly, and you let out a nervous laugh.

“You are probably going to think that I am crazy, but I need some tips on sword fighting? I’m not really the best with the sword and capture the flag is in a few weeks.”, you tell him, feeling suddenly incredible stupid.

The boy seems unsure for a moment before a charming smile comes up.

“Of course, I’ll try to help you in the best way I can. Although I must say I’m surprised that you didn’t asked Luke for some pointers,” you knew he was going to ask this, after all you had never really interacted with him.

“Well, he is quite busy, you know knew kids coming in, the Hermes cabin and then Claire,” you say and Max nods in understanding.

“Lucky for you I have all afternoon,” he says, suddenly closer than he had been before, making you look up into his dazzling blue eyes.

“Here’s your sword,” he whispers, and you clear your throat before taking it.

“Thank you!”, you say, trying to keep your voice normal but it comes out a little squeaky.

--

“This is even better than a movie,” Percy says while Groover nods in agreement.

“Athena girl has enough of the Hermes boy flirting with other girls, so she goes and take a chance on an Apollo boy. Will the Hermes boy realize what he is losing, or will she end up with the Apollo boy?”, Groover whispers and Percy snorts at the words, while Annabeth shakes her head, a smile on her lips.

“Well looks like we won’t have to wait too long how that will end.”, she says as she sees Luke marching, or stomping, towards the two teenagers who had been talking. She had seen Luke looking at her half-sister for some time now but as Max put his hands on her waist to put her in position it seemed too much for Luke.

“And there goes the Hermes boy!”, Percy whispers, the three of them looking with avid attention.

“What in the Gods name are you three watching like a television show? And is that popcorn?”, Clarisse says, for once not looking like she wants to murder them.

“We are watching that show,” Groover says while pointing at Luke arriving towards the two others.

“Oh shit, this is going to be good. Move your little asses I want front row to Max getting his ass beaten,” Clarisse says with a smirk, but not before stealing some popcorn.

“It is getting heated,” Annabeth says, feeling unsure for once at the decision she made of letting you go towards the Apollo boy.

“Luke tries to push him but no of course she gets between them.”, Clarisse says, looking disappointed that the Hermes boy hadn’t slapped the Apollo kid. 

Max tries to put his hand on your shoulder while speaking but before he can Luke brings you to his side, putting you behind him and glaring at the boy in front of him.

“Touch her again and this time I will cut your hand off,”, they hear Luke say in a warning tone making them all let out a collective gasp.

“Get him Castellan!”, Clarisse yells suddenly, making the three teenagers look into your direction.

“Shit he saw us, time to go!”, Percy yells and the four manage to scramble away before the Hermes boy can turn his frustration towards them.

--

“Luke, will you calm down please. He was just giving me pointers.”, she says for the second time, but he can’t find it himself to calm down.

The boy had his hands on her, and he can’t stop seeing his flirty smile and her shy one.

“Fine. I’ll leave you two then.”, he says, feeling so angry that he just wants to rip everything to shreds.

“Common, Luke,” he hears her say and silently he hopes that she is following him, and that she didn’t chose to stay with the idiot.

He feels her hand on his arm and stops as she lets out a sigh.

“Will you stop and talk for a moment?”, she says, and he takes a deep breath before turning around.

“Don’t you have a sword lesson to follow?”, he says, unable to hide the sarcasm at the words.

“I simply asked him because you were too busy flirting with Claire,” the name of the Aphrodite girl is said with a certain disdain, that Luke recognizes all too well from his own thoughts about Max.

“Are you jealous?”, the girl scoffs but Luke can’t help the wide smile that appears at her embarrassment.

“Like you weren’t just throwing a hissy fit over there for the whole camp,” she bites back and Luke chuckles in response, getting closer to her.

“I was jealous, I can openly admit that. Nearly wanted to rip his head from his body for barely touching your waist,” he admits, watching her eyes widen in surprise and with something else. 

“Fine, I was jealous about Claire and the attention you were giving her,” she says, looking like she wanted to say anything but that. Luke smiles as he gets even closer to her and brings his arm around her waist, making her look at him in surprise.

“I wasn’t interested in her, I just wanted to see how you reacted to me talking with her and I have to say it was quite the show,” the girl looks at him with wide eyes.

“You dick! I thought you were interested in her!”, she exclaims, and Luke can’t help but laugh at her words.

“How could I be interested in her when I have you in the back of my mind all the time,” he whispers, smelling her perfume as he got even closer to her.

“Good thing I haven’t been able to think about anyone else either,” she whispers back, and Luke can’t help but feel revived at the words.

“Max?”, he asks, wanting to make sure that she wasn’t just confused.

“It was a plan to make you jealous,” she whispers, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment and after a moment Luke realizes what she just said.

“You little minx, and I thought you were innocent!”, the words make her laugh as she curls her arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Although it was fun to see you act all protective over me,” she whispers while biting her lip and Luke can’t help but look at her soft lips. 

“You drive me crazy darling,” he tells her before bringing her into a kiss, he holds her waist tightly and lets out a soft moan as she cards her fingers through his hair.

Unbeknownst to them five other campers are celebrating behind the trees.

“I told you this would work!”, Percy says, and Annabeth can’t help but agree.

“I thought he was going to rip my head off,” Max says, and the others snort in response.

“You were lucky she was there buddy,” Groover says while patting Max on the back.

“I don’t know about you guys but watching them kiss is not really my thing, let’s move out,” the others quickly agree at Annabeth’s words and leave their hiding place to go to the lake, leaving the two lovebirds alone.

[paigesfuturewifey]

authors note! IM SORRY FOR BEING MIA college was kicking my ass (still is) and i’m trying my hardest not to crash out but here is an angsty fic :D

this is also heavily inspired by she wouldn’t be gone by blake shelton IK IK country music sue me it is unfortunately part of my roots so yes here she is

“i’m sick of this caitlin!”

you two had been going back and forth for a while about this, both too stubborn to admit who was in the right and who was in the wrong.

it’d been two months since caitlin went first pick in the wnba draft. two months of caitlin continuously forgetting about your date nights, two months of caitlin lagging hours on end and then eventually responding to your messages with one word replies, two months of wondering if caitlin would be home from practice at a decent hour or if you’d go to sleep in a cold, empty bed.

two. fucking. months.

of course, you understood the fact that caitlin’s job required almost all of her undivided attention and you were extremely proud of her and all her accomplishments.

but being second priority to her job was taking a toll on your mental health.

you were tired of being alone all the time. the sacrifices you made, picking up everything and moving to indiana with caitlin to be with her, felt pretty fruitless when you had barely seen her in your own apartment.

caitlin’s response came low at first as she rubbed her temples, “what do you want me to do?” and then she repeated it louder, throwing her arms up in frustration, “what do you want me to do?!”

“i want you to be here! you’re never here anymore, caitlin! i’m alone ALL THE TIME now!”

“that’s not fair. i’m doing this for us! for— for you!”

you shook your head, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “no. no. not for me. this is what you wanted! you wanted this! i didn’t—“

“i didn’t ask you to move to indiana with me!”

the statement felt like a slap to the face. caitlin, of all people, knew how hard of a decision it was to move to indiana. to be away from your family. your sister, your parents.

caitlin never pressured you into it, of course. she was insistent that if you had decided to stay in iowa, you’d make long distance work. but when you ultimately decided to stay with, whom you thought was the love of your life, caitlin couldn’t of been more happier.

the two of your popped a bottle of champagne in celebration and spent the night talking, laughing, planning your futures together.

a bittersweet memory that seemed so distant at the moment.

as you narrowed your eyes, you felt a tear roll down your cheek, followed by three or two more. “you know what, caitlin? you’re right. you didn’t ask. but it was a sacrifice i was willing to make for you!”

“you’re not the only one making sacrifices—“

the mere start of the sentence had you letting out a laugh, putting your hands behind your head as you paced back and forth. “you’re not listening.”

“i am listening—“

“no! you’re hearing me but you’re not listening to me!”

silence fell upon the two of you, both contemplating your next words because you both knew you guys were pretty close to crossing lines that couldn’t be uncrossed.

you placed your hands on the counter, leaning on it while hanging your head low, letting the tears drop onto the floor. “i can’t do this anymore,” you finally let out in a small whisper, but it hit caitlin in the gut. “i don’t want a life where i spend more time waiting for you than being with you.”

“you don’t mean that. please baby, stop.” caitlin’s warm hands were suddenly around your waist, leaning her head on your shoulder and kissing softly. “let’s just go to bed, yeah? i promise, i promise things will be different, okay? i’ll make more of an effort. i’ll try and get home on time for dinner. i know things aren’t easy right now, but i can’t lose you. we’ll figure it out, i’ll— i’ll try harder. okay?”

but even when those words eased your mind a little, you both knew the promise wouldn’t be kept.

so it wasn’t really a shock to you when you sat at the dinner table, candles lit and your meal sitting in front of you with the empty chair across from you.

you cooked caitlin’s favorite meal, wore her favorite set underneath your clothes that was her favorite color. you looked at the clock, and when it read 10:30, you scoffed.

you were fed up. you were well over your boiling point.

and, so, when caitlin entered your guys’ apartment at midnight, her heart ached a little at the sight of your untouched meals at the table, and candle she assumed was lit at one point.

she rubbed a hand over her face, quickly walking to your shared room. then she froze in her spot.

your side of the room was empty. from your nightstand being stripped of its decorations, to your side of the closet being completely empty.

the suitcases you used for when you guys planned vacations were gone. along her your toothbrush, makeup, hair products, basically everything that made your shared apartment shared was gone.

caitlin wasted no time picking up her phone and clicking your contact, holding the phone to her ear. she anxiously waited, suddenly feeling as if her whole life was falling apart.

voicemail. she tried seven more times. all went straight to voicemail.

her mind immediately went straight to denial, there was no way you picked up and left, right? you always said you would, but caitlin never believed you. never truly believed you.

or maybe she just didn’t listen to you.

she snatched her keys from the table, leaving the apartment and shutting the door loudly behind her. she bet all her money that her neighbors hated her.

that’s how she ended up in her car, speeding down the highway on a rainy night, frantically calling all of your shared friends.

she started with your mom, driving down the road at 90 miles an hour and switching lanes like an absolute maniac. she’d gotten honked at at least four times already.

“caitlin.” your mom greeted, though judging by her cold and and distant tone, and her use of caitlin’s full name instead of cait, caitlin could tell the news had no doubt got back to her.

“do you know where she is, mrs. l/n?” her question came right off the bat, figuring she had no time to waste in finding you.

your mom’s answer was quiet. and caitlin learned your families habits quickly enough to know that when she went quiet, she was lying. “please—“

“i’m afraid i can’t speak with you now, goodbye caitlin.”

then the line went dead.

with her left hand on the steering wheel, she punched the middle with her right and threw her head back.

her next call was kate because you three all had been very close throughout your iowa college years. kate always understood you in a way that made caitlin jealous.

and for a while, she she was a topic of argument in your relationship because caitlin constantly needed reassurance that she was the one you wanted.

there was clearly a rift in caitlin and kate’s friendship after, but after the move to indiana, they seemed to be mending their friendship. until now.

kate answered on the first ring with a hard question. “what’d you do, clark?”

“kate, i— i fucked up. she’s gone. i don’t know where she went. her stuff’s gone, her clothes are gone, she’s gone.”

“damn it, caitlin. you always do this shit— you drove her away, again.“

“do you know where she is?” caitlin demanded, arriving to her first destination.

“no.”

“you’re lying.”

“no i’m not—“

“i should’ve figured you wouldn’t help me find her. you’ve always been pathetically in love with her, ever since college.” caitlin scoffed out bitterly.

“caitlin—“

“know what? no. you’ve always been on her side, since day one. i can’t even do this right now—“

“you’re frustrated with yourself, about driving y/n away, so your picking a fight with me.” kate spoke calmly, fueling caitlin’s anger.

“don’t fucking psycho analyze me, right now martin.” with that she abruptly ended the call, getting out of the car and walking into the ice cream shop the both of you loved dearly.

after that, she went to your favorite coffee shop, after that, nalyssa’s apartment, then aliyah’s, then the hotel near your apartment.

she held her face in her hands, finally letting the sobs ripple through her. she suddenly realized how under appreciated your voice was. she was forgetting how sweet it was, how beautiful it was when you hummed her to sleep.

she was forgetting your voice already.

and she realized that she should’ve fought harder. should’ve told you how much she loved you, cherished you, needed you.

maybe, just maybe, if she had done that, you wouldn’t be gone.

safe to say caitlin didn’t find you that night, and no one told her where you might’ve went.

[loveinhawkins]

There isn’t a strike of lightning, no grand epiphany that clues Steve in.

It just comes down to this: he knows Dustin Henderson.

Knows how he looks when confronted with a problem he desperately wants to solve.

“Fuck this,” he’s saying through gritted teeth, pushing down hard on the gaping wound across Steve’s abdomen; he’s doing everything right, Steve thinks with pride, but it’s not enough.

It’s not his fault.

Steve says as much.

But Dustin isn’t listening; he’s just muttering to himself, “Not again,” over and over.

And Steve suddenly feels like he did when dropping the quarter into The Indiana Flyer—the moment just before the song played, already knowing what he would hear.

“Not again?” Steve asks very quietly.

Dustin’s mouth snaps shut. His face is chalk white, and there’s more than just fear in his eyes; there’s guilt too, guilt and a responsibility he should never have to bear.

Steve wants to take it from him.

He lifts his hand, grunting with the effort, and ruffles Dustin’s hair. “Oh, bud,” he murmurs, “you’ve kept trying, huh?”

Dustin’s eyes fill with tears.

Steve tries to hush him, breathing turning shallow from the pain.

“Hey, you—you’ve g-gotta hand it to me, man,” Steve says through a faint smile. “Was… on the right track, y’know? O-obsessed with clocks.”

Dustin gasps out a laugh. It ends on a sob.

“Shut up,” he says, and that’s all—no clever comeback, nothing, even though he always has one.

Steve’s heart breaks for him.

“How many times?” Steve says, but he doesn’t need a reply; he knows enough just from the way Dustin is shaking.

“I—” Dustin swallows, shakes his head. “I don’t…” Oh, Steve thinks, his kid is tired.

“C’mere.” He cups the back of Dustin’s head. “Everyone… everyone else make it?”

Dustin starts to cry.

It’s an answer of its own.

“Shh. Hey. That’s… you can stop now.” Steve pats the back of Dustin’s hand, stills the pressure on his wound. “Listen. Just… just let it run this time. Hey, it’s okay, Dustin. It’s okay.”

“It’s n-not okay, Steve, how can you—”

“Shh,” Steve says again, and maybe this is as much for him as it is for Dustin; he doesn’t want their last conversation to be a fight. He looks into Dustin’s eyes. Smiles. “Christ, I’m so proud of you.”

It doesn’t cover everything he wants to say; there’s not enough time.

I loved growing up with you. I’m sorry. I wanted to be there for you forever.

“Fuck you,” Dustin says, young and angry and so afraid. “Don’t say you’re proud of me, asshole, just don’t—”

Don’t go.

“Okay, fine. You’re a smartass,” Steve drawls, and Dustin lets out a choked giggle before grief takes over again.

“God,” he says, “this isn’t fucking fair. I sh-shouldn’t have to choose—this is—”

“Bullshit,” Steve agrees. “That’s not on you, man. Not your fault if the game’s rigged.”

Dustin closes his eyes.

It’s not so bad, Steve tells himself. He can just… rest for a couple seconds, tell Dustin to get outta here, then…

A faint chime.

Dustin’s eyes open. There’s a sudden gleam to them, shining through the fatigue. Determination.

Hope, despite everything.

“Well then,” Dustin says, “s’a good thing I’m a smartass.”

And then he’s running.

Steve manages to lift his head up with a cry, gets to see Dustin reach a grandfather clock ensnared with vines, because of course he’s not gonna listen to him, he’s such a little shit, and Steve loves him so much—

Dustin reaches up to the glass in front of the clock face, smashes it with his hand.

The world turns white.

The last thing Steve sees is Dustin turning to him with a shaky grin, mouthing, “One more.”

And Steve’s still terrified, but he also thinks of the world’s most stubborn, brilliant kid with a wonky compass, of how many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?

It’s a walk along the railroad tracks, stumbling into each other’s lives; it’s just get ready, and you die, I die; it’s being trapped under Starcourt, and Steve left with the one thing that all the drugs, all the pain in the world could not take away from him.

The absolute faith that Dustin would figure something out.

[frvnkcastles]

May I have something where it dort of explores past sh? Where the reader is cutting mango or avocado I the palm of her hand and cuts through the shin into her hand and she just stands there for ages just staring as she's bleeding weighing up how much she can get away with on accident without frank bringing in Matt the Human Lie Detector, and she goes in for a second swipe when frank comes back from the shower and she tries playing it off like she just cut her hand and hea right up in there wanting to help but he notices the partal deeper in the top end so its been done over again? Right over the crease over her palm fluff and comfort please?

THE WAY I HELD YOUR HAND ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You give in to the urges and Frank helps you with the aftermath.

Warnings: SELF-HARM, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames, language

Word count: 1.2k

Author’s note: This is a heavy one, so read with caution (or skip entirely if you feel like it might be too much!) I’m sending you so much love anon, I know from experience what a struggle it can be to stay sober but I believe in you! Stay strong, you deserve to heal <3

With Frank’s support, you had managed to abstain from harming yourself for a while now. He gave all the credit to you — he was just along for the ride, and you were the one who did all the work. Nevertheless, he had been a massive comfort, always distracting you when you felt the urge and encouraging you to try again if you fell back into the cycle. You wanted to get rid of the habit of hurting yourself, anyway, but he gave you extra motivation to do it, as you really wanted to prove to him that you could do it and make him proud in the process. Of course, he was proud of you no matter what, but whatever it took to give you the boost you needed, he was okay with.

So, with him constantly by your side, you started to unlearn the knee-jerk reaction of hurting yourself and grow out of it. It had been a long while since you had succumbed to the compulsion, and you didn’t think you would lose yourself to it anytime soon.

That was why you were surprised yourself with how quickly you changed your mind. It had been a long, tiring day and maybe that explained your struggle to slice through the mango you had grabbed in the need of a snack — either way, the knife slipped and in the blink of an eye, you had cut your palm open. Blood began seeping out and you froze on the spot, unable to move or react in any way.

You stood there, staring at the wound that painted your skin redder by the second. You dropped the mango on the kitchen counter and swallowed hard, your thoughts laser-focused on what had been an accident but suddenly felt so fateful. Instead of trying to stifle the bleeding, your first instinct was to watch it dribble down your wrist and wonder how long you could drag this out. You were thrown right back into that old state of mind where you let the pain linger, where it felt like you were punishing yourself, and deservedly so.

You knew Frank would worry. And you also knew that he wouldn’t buy any flimsy stories about it being an accident — which it was, at first, but before you fully even processed what you were doing, you were swiping the knife across your skin once more. All those old feelings came rushing back, causing you to lose track of your surroundings. You couldn’t focus on anything else except the mixture of relief and regret pounding at your head and heart, and you let the moment go on for longer than you should have.

”Sweetheart, what happened?” Frank’s worried voice broke through your trance, his large hand coming to cradle yours with his eyes wide and alert. You hadn’t noticed him getting out of the shower, and immediately, you felt embarrassed about being caught, but you couldn’t get a single word out. ”Darlin’, you’re bleedin’. Shit”, he went on, his usually calm voice trembling with panic. You didn’t blame him, there was a lot of blood dripping onto the counters, after all.

”It—it was an accident”, you stammered out, shaking off your daze as you watched Frank grab the kitchen towel and wrap it around your hand to apply pressure and stop the bleeding.

”Gotta be more careful, sweetheart. This ain’t just a small cut”, he acknowledged with a heavy heart, his protectiveness kicking in as he kept squeezing the towel against your palm. The burning pain made you grimace, the gravity of the situation finally sinking in, and you felt horrible guilt blossom in your chest as you realized you had undone all your progress within moments.

You fell into silence, fearing how Frank would react if you admitted you had deliberately hurt yourself, but he figured it out even without your admission. He gently removed the towel after a couple of minutes of pressure, and above the bigger cut, he could see the second one you had made on impulse. He frowned, inspecting your hand before looking up at you, only to instantly pick up on your troubled expression.

”Baby, I don’t think this was an accident”, he probed gently, not wanting to make you any more uncomfortable than you already were, but he also couldn’t leave it unmentioned. His heart raced in his chest, concern for you coursing through his veins as he watched you look away from him. ”Hey, hey, hey. Talk to me, sweet girl, what’s goin’ on? You haven’t been’ doin’ this for a while now. Did somethin’ happen?” he went on, tilting his head to catch your stare but you were too ashamed to face him.

”It really was an accident at first. But then I… I just got reminded of what it was like and I couldn’t control the urge and—and I just…”, you rambled, not even entirely sure what had come over you, what would be good enough justification. A tear slipped from your eye and you sniffled, wishing you could undo what you had done, but at the same time feeling like you deserved further pain for your mistake.

Nodding in understanding, Frank reached with one hand to wipe your cheeks while supporting your palm in the other. ”Alright, sweetheart. I’m real sorry I wasn’t here to help you through it. But I’m here now and I’mma make sure we get this all cleaned up and we can keep talkin’ about it, yeah?” he promised, not a hint of judgment in his voice as he calmly reassured you.

”I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did it. I was doing so well”, you spoke shakily, so upset that you would have to start all over again. But Frank didn’t see it that way.

”Oh, baby, you’re still doin’ well. It’s a setback, but it ain’t the end of everything you worked so hard for. Givin’ in once doesn’t mean you’re a lost cause. You can always stop again. You’re incredibly strong, hear me?” he insisted, having complete faith in you, and it soothed your thumping heart a little to hear it from him.

”I feel like I let you down”, you confessed quietly, finally looking him in the eye, and his heart ached at your words. He understood that he played a big part in your recovery, but he hadn’t realized just how much you valued his opinion and support.

”You could never. Never, got that? I’m always in awe of you, sweet darlin’, and nothin’ will ever change that. I can’t even imagine how tough it gotta be to fight the urge but you do it, anyway. That’s fuckin’ amazing”, Frank swore, meaning every word. He cupped your face with his free hand and leaned in to kiss your forehead, staying connected to you for a moment before pulling back and locking eyes with you.

”I love you, yeah? I know you can do this”, he added, and with a careful nod, you promised to at least try. He gave you the smallest of smiles, almost impossible to even notice, but you knew just how much care and affection it contained for you.

”Thanks, Frankie”, you returned the smile, warming his heart.

”There’s my girl”, he praised before turning back to your hand. ”Think we gotta pay a visit to the emergency room, sweetheart. Might need stitches”, he declared, and sighing, you supposed he was right.

But with him by your side, it would be okay, and you would bravely fight the urge next time it would dawn on you.

[clangenrising]

Month 15 - Newleaf

Battle With Razor Pt 2

The sound of claws on stone filled the camp.

Shortly after the battle patrol had left, Scorchplume had climbed onto the Stoneperch and started restlessly scratching her claws over its surface non-stop. It had been about an hour and Oddstripe was starting to get worried about her. 

He understood, of course. His three, perfect children had all gone to join the fight and while he was so, so proud of them, he was also absolutely terrified. He’d taken to checking on everyone in camp, making sure that things were settled here at least. 

Pantherhaze was sat next to the elders’ den, within which Mystique was sulking. Oddstripe made sure to drop off her breakfast. Slatepaw and Fogpaw had dutifully taken on the task of keeping Lake occupied and were taking turns letting her bat at their tails. She was finally starting to reach a healthy weight which relieved Oddstripe greatly. Aldertail had turned in to try and sleep through the battle and Oddstripe hadn’t wanted to disturb her. 

Sagetooth had gone with the rest of the Clan to help provide medical attention to the fighters, leaving Oddstripe at home just in case something went wrong with Mystique’s pregnancy. He had told himself to trust her judgment but he also couldn’t help but worry that he could be doing more at the front. Scorch’s scratching was starting to grate on his brain, making him even more restless. 

Eventually, he leapt up onto the Stoneperch beside her, offering a gentle smile. “How are you hanging in there?” 

“Fine,” Scorch said, clearly lying. She did still her paws though, which he silently appreciated. 

“I’m nervous too,” he said. She frowned, looking more forlorn than he had ever seen her. He continued, “I know they train for this kind of thing but that doesn’t make me worry any less about them getting hurt.” 

“I just worry they’re still underestimating him,” Scorch admitted. “I tried to prepare them but if it’s not enough…” 

Oddstripe nodded. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean.” He took a deep breath and stretched, padding a few steps away into the thick, waving grass. “At the end of the day, you just have to trust that they are doing their best and have faith that things will be alright.” Scorch huffed a little and curled her tail over her paws. 

Oddstripe sighed and looked up at the last traces of the stars in the early morning sky. Faith had always come so easily to him that it was hard to understand why it seemed so hard for Scorchplume. He took a deep breath and tried to open himself to StarClan’s will, hoping they had some guidance for him in this moment. 

The sun was just starting to rise over the desert and the mountains beyond it, staining the dark blue sky a bloody crimson. Oddstripe’s tail bristled and arched behind him as the rays of sunlight seemed to transform into rivers of blood pouring over the distant landscape while the rising sun flickered and started to go out. He couldn’t breathe. 

Then, suddenly, a column of flame shot up from the desert and the blood shrank away, reversing its course as if going back in time and the sun regained its brilliant gleam. He blinked and the vision was gone, the sun rising just as normal. Scorchplume looked over at him and frowned. 

“Are you alright?” she asked, sitting up straighter. “What’s wrong?” 

He swallowed, took a step back, and said, “I- I think I just had a vision.” He could barely believe the words. He turned the images over in his mind to make sure he was interpreting it correctly. With something this important, he had to be sure. 

Scorch pursed her lips. “What kind of vision?” she said skeptically. 

“Well,” he said, trying to spread saliva around his very dry mouth, “I can’t be perfectly certain, but it was a warning from StarClan. If you don’t go to the battle right now, Goldenstar will die.” As he said the words, they seemed to fall into place, affirming their truth the moment they were spoken aloud. 

Scorch bristled. “That’s crazy,” she snapped. “How would you even know that?!” 

“It’s hard to explain,” he said, knowing intuition wouldn’t be a satisfying explanation for the cynic. “Look, you don’t have to believe me but I would bet my life on what I saw.” His eyes wandered over the grass as a plan formed in his mind. “In fact, I’m going over right now. Please come with me.” He looked up at her and prayed that she could have faith just this once. 

“I…” she swallowed and curled her shoulders in on herself. “I can’t. If Razor finds me again-”

“I know,” Oddstripe cut in, “but Goldenstar needs you.” 

Scorch shook her head and took a step back. “I’m sorry. I can’t go back there.” Oddstripe wanted to beg and plead but he knew it wouldn’t convince her. He sighed and leapt down from the Stoneperch to head for his den. 

“I’m going to go anyway,” he said. “Maybe there’s something I can do.” 

“What’s going on?” Pantherhaze asked, standing up. 

“Goldenstar is in trouble,” Oddstripe said, sounding more authoritative than he thought he was able. “I’m going to see if there’s something I can do about it.” 

“Oh,” Pantherhaze swallowed and shifted as if he were straining against the tether keeping him there with Mystique. Eventually, he said, “May StarClan guide you.” 

Oddstripe swallowed and nodded. He strode quickly into the healers’ den to the back where the herbs were stored. Sagetooth had already taken most of the important ones with her but his eyes fell upon the small stock of yarrow that was left. Listening to his gut, he snatched the herbs up in his mouth and bounded back out, heading for the border as fast as was sustainable. He mumbled prayers under his breath, hoping that his vision wasn’t a certainty, that he would be able to change fate on his own. 

“Wait!” Scorchplume called out and he turned to see her bounding to catch up with him. He smiled but didn’t waste time on words. Once she was at his side, he took off again and she followed quickly and quietly. We’re coming, Goldenstar, he thought. Just hang in there.

[dazealigner]

As a new Boygenius and Muna fan, scenarios with both groups are just in my head like wild fire ( my notes app is crying. )

And since you’ve asked for our thoughts, I thought I’d share this with you.

I am nervous cuz I don’t really send asks even if they’re anon so I hope this is good :b Also i’m so sorry for the length omg

————-

Whether or not it’s just boygenius, muna, or both bands are on stage at the same time. You are not safe backstage. They have so much love to give, why would you be?

Let me paint the scene for you.

You, the bestfriend of munagenius, a solo artist who does write songs and poetry, but especially loves being crafty. Paintings, drawings, origami, etc. ( I’m saying this because of a different scenario I’ve thought of with Munagenius having an artist!friend, maybe I’ll drop that thought here later 👀)

While you are known for your solo work, you’re also known for the shenanigans you, the boys, and muna get up to.

So since you tend to tag along on tours and gigs, it’s not uncommon for you to be side stage or backstage at their shows. You’re just there being so proud of your bestfriends and how hard they’ve worked to get to where they are.

The crowd doesn’t always know you’re there until they accidentally see you, hear you, or you get pulled on stage, which is not uncommon.

Now imagine both groups are on stage just preforming and rocking their little hearts out as usual. And then the shenanigans start.

The dancing on each other, the kissing, they’re running around the stage, etc, etc.

You’re just there watching them, not really being phased cuz the behavior is normal to you, hell a good chunk of the time you join in, or you gay panic, either or.

So maybe you just stay right there at the side of the stage and watch, maybe you go backstage for whatever reason.

Then… one or two of the people on stage remembers, in the midst of their adrenaline high, that you’re there. Just seeing all this unfold, now all of them have much love to give, obviously they show it to you time and time again, so why not show their love for you, their dear bestfriend, on stage?

Either one of them, two of them, maybe a few more of them just suddenly run backstage to get you.

For this I’m gonna say that the two who decided to go after you was Julien and Jo right, it was not long after they had their little moment ( the one where Jules did the knee thing to Jo? yeah) and all of a sudden they just give each other a look.

Next thing you know they’re running to the side of the stage, confusing the crowd and the rest of the members of their bands cuz why tf did they just bolt like that?

The band members are just looking in confusion, until they slowly smile as they see you being borderline manhandled and dragged onto the stage.

Maybe you tried to run once you saw the two rush towards you, knowing what was about to happen. That wasn’t gonna work cuz regardless of which friend it is they always end up catching you.

Which they did, now you, being shorter than Jo but just a bit taller than julien, is currently being tussled on stage by the both of them(When I tell you, you get caught in seconds when you try to run, idk why you still try)

the crowd is in an uproar of laughs and screams, cuz it’s not like their fans don’t know who you are, you have your own fanbase and Munagenius is almost always talking about you, and if they’re not talking about you, they’re posting you on their social media and vice versa. It’s no secret that you’re very close with both of the groups. Hell they may or may not have written songs about you.

Not only is the group and the crowd glad to see you, you’re literally being dragged on stage by a golden retriever and the little one, who wouldn’t laugh?! (Jo gives off such golden retriever energy I can’t,…… I’ll pitch that Idea to someone’s inbox soon) (also they way I just struggled to type ‘inbox’ is embarrassing but anyways 💀)

Anyways all three of you are laughing and shit, maybe they’re tickling you so it’s harder for you to run.

Eventually you get set down and the storm starts, maybe Jo kissed you first? maybe Lucy? Julien??? who knows, all you know is that your friends are showing you so much love, you can barely breath before another one picks up where the last one started.

They’re kissing you cheeks, forehead, nose, chin, neck, lips. And boooooy do you get shy.

It’s not like you’re afraid to show your love to them, you’ve kissed them, cuddled, wrote songs about them, made art about them more times than you can count, and talked about them in interviews. (I also imagine that their bestfriend is the person to send paragraphs of appreciation for them at random, and post appreciation posts on instagram for any of Munagenius’ birthday ( or again, at random, artist! bff is a very sentimental and grateful being that does stuff out of kindness at random, no special occasion needed!!!) and their words are so genuine and poetic it moves people.

AND they just send photos like “ this made me think of you” to let Munagenius know that they’re on their mind, aw, let me get back on track hold on 😭)

Artist bff is also not shy on stage, when they HAVE preformed….. let’s just say people now demand you pay for emotional damages.

YOU’RE SUCH A FUCKING TEASE ON STAGE, facial expressions, winking, motioning you finger in the ‘come here’ motion, biting your lip, dancing. Artist bff is a damn charisma fairy

Yet here you are, on stage with Muna and Boygenius, Blushing at some kisses???? Unbelievable.

Maybe artist!bff isn’t that used to their love being reciprocated, especially publicly so they’re just a bit surprised and flustered.

So you’re just getting bombarded with kisses and hugs and little tickles from both groups, and they’re teasing and cooing at you for hiding your face cuz the fucking audacity that you have to have insane amounts of charisma and be a tease when you’re preforming but the moment you’re not the one preforming, you’re shy?

BUT LIKE you’re overwhelmed with love ( in a good way) and beautiful people that just so happen to be your best friends are kissing you, live, infront of hundreds of people. Sit here and tell me you wouldn’t gay panic YOU CANT

I also imagine that maybe they all have a nickname for you, like ‘love bug’ or ‘little love’ cuz you’re the youngest out of the 6 of them and one of the shortest, and while you’re being brought on stage Katie’s just like “ Oh, they got bug.” while smiling cuz they all just love you so much and AHHHH

Eventually you end up hiding your face in someone’s neck afterwards and they’re just rocking you side to side chucking at how cute you are. Mind you the show must go on so they’re STILL PREFORMING throughout the whole thing but you’re a bit too overwhelmed to walk off the stage rn so into the escape of someone’s arms you go.

There’s also new edits and clips on y’all on tiktok now so have fun with that LMAO

——���——

That was a lot, I probably didn’t write that well so forgive me I tried😭

🐹🩵🤍

hiii anon !!! first off, WELCOME TO MUNAGENIUS NATION WOOOO!! i feel like tumblr is the proprietor of munagenius nation so i hope we’ve found you well

and don’t worry about sending asks and their lengths, i literally had the time of my life reading this. you guys could send a five paragraph essay and i would sit through and enjoy every minute of it

but let’s get started because I AM SO INVESTED IN THIS ARTIST!BFF IDEA (if you wouldn’t mind pleaaaase further elaborate on this idea because as i continued reading i only grew to love and adore artist!bff more). and i wanted to add that artist!bff not only being a singer but also being a poet can only mean they’re a brilliant lyricist. and since they also draw, paint, and do origami, i can picture the munagenius members having their drawings pinned on their tour busses. and i can only imagine that artist!bff has made at least one sentimental art project for each munagenius members, so they all have artist!bff’s work framed somewhere in their house.

and not only getting to tag along, but also getting to go to all—if not, most—of their shows sounds like a DREAM. i think it’s hilarious though how artist!bff inevitably gets dragged into their shenanigans in spite of their efforts.

and i am indeed a julien and jo girly, how’d you know!!!!! but artist!bff trying to run away…. lovebug did not stand a CHANCE! julien’s got lighting speed and jo’s strong… you’re doomed. and we already know how crazy munagenius tik tok went for jo and julien’s kiss, could you begin to imagine how crazy they’d go for artist!bff—who also has a large fanbase—being dragged onto the stage by BOTH of them????!

and i could totally see the golden retriever!jo idea. i gotta tell you that when you said that, my initial thought was their new hair just cause it’s so fluffy and golden retriever-like (someone back me up) (also feel free to pitch me this idea as well!!!!! pleeeease)

and in this scenario, i 100% see muna being responsible for the tickling and boygenius being in a rush to get their lips on you. like you’re being manhandled by julien and jo whilst everyone is running over to you and they set you down but naomi’s in tickle monster mode and so is jo so you can’t even attempt to get up. meanwhile lucy’s hovering on top of you kissing all over your face and julien’s hands are in your hair and she kisses your head and phoebe and katie are standing above you guys like “☹️☹️i wanna pucker my lips on them too????!”

and may i just say that i am loving the similarities between me and artist!bff. i as well get incredibly overwhelmed by affection (not that it’s a bad thing) and i physically do not know how to respond to it so as a result i get shy. ALSO ARTIST!BFF BEING A POET/WRITER 🤝 WORDS OF AFFIRMATION AS OUR LOVE LANGUAGE!!! it only makes sense!

artist!bff’s lyricism being detrimental to the mentally ills is one of the several reasons they and munagenius are best friends I DON’T MAKE THE RULES!!!!

and hold on a SECOND. why do i low(high)key want artist!bff….. head my WAY! also your descriptions made me think of reneé rapp (off topic but i’ll do anything to bring up reneé rapp sorry not sorry)

i Imagine that artist!bff has so so so much love and affection to give so when the role’s are switched, they’re like???! they’re flustered but they loooove it.

AND THAT’S SOOO NOT FAIR, all munagenius members have well reached maximum attractiveness and if they’re all kissing artist!bff at the SAME TIME, how else are they supposed to react???? but i mean i get it artist!bff’s fine as FUCK sooo

and i could just picture the edits of artist!bff with their face shoved in someone’s neck (i’ll say katie for this cause i feel like she’d be the only one who isn’t laughing in your face about how your cheeks and ears are red and would just be patting your hair). ALSO LOVEBUG!!!!! i used that name a couple times cause it just seems fitting for artist!bff they’re so cutesie

i literally thought so thoroughly about this idea while writing this, i absolutely love it so so so much. THANK YOU ANON this made my day and i love your mind for coming up with this

[beelmons]

Golf lessons pt. 2

Pt2 of this blurb! Pairing: dbf!hotch x Fem!Reader Rating: NSFW, 18+ Word count: 2,757 CW: unprotected sex, kinda public sex, overstimulation, vaginal penetration. Tagging the two moots that inspired part 2 <3 @ssahotchnerr @ssamorganhotchner

As it turns out, being able to hit the ball was not enough golf expertise for the ever-so-perfectionist Aaron Hotchner. Regardless of both of your urges to do something entirely different, Aaron’s commitment to making you the next Tiger Woods forced you to stay in the golf club until almost midnight, and by that time everything was either closed or too lousy for him to ever consider taking you. At the end, he dropped you back home so you could pack for the retreat.

The thought of not seeing him again for an entire weekend was saddening, specially when it meant being shoved inside a room with your dad and his snobby friends, but the picture of him smiling at you, the proud, sly smile he would wear when you told him just how many holes in ones you scored, and how your pars were the best, and about your putts (you didn’t understand golf, like, at all) was the token you held onto to keep going.

The retreat was okay, you came up sixth out of the total twenty teams, so at least your dad was not a sulky mess, and he would go around showcasing your golf skills and how you “took after him”, even if it was also his first time seeing you play. To wrap up the event, there was an additional party with a “Sunday golf” theme, which meant everyone would go dressed in fancy sports clothes. Looking through your wardrobe, you were lost in your own mind trying to figure out what to wear when your phone chimed.

Mr. Aaron Hotchner: Apparently, today’s Sunday Golf party is open to friends and family as well. Your father has decided to invite me. Will you be attending?

Your eyes skimmed through the notification and a bright smile appeared on your face. Great, you got to see him sooner than you expected.

You: Yes, I’ll be there!

Mr. Aaron Hotchner: Great. Can’t wait to hear all about the golf competition.

You hugged the device to your chest in excitement, and the decision of what to wear suddenly seemed like a life and death situation, or so you felt until a very risky idea popped into your head.

The party looked like everything else you had seen during the weekend: bland and uninteresting. Across the venue you spotted your dad, who had gone ahead without you, sucking up to his boss and some other higher-ups. Your sight then landed on a handsome gentleman standing by the appetizers table, a couple of men his age chatting him up. He was wearing a white polo and khaki dress pants with a pair of brown shoes. He looked stunning as per usual. As if sensing your eyes on him, Hotch’s sight travelled to you; you watched him mutter an ‘excuse me’ to his acquaintances and he hurried in your direction.

“Hey!” he shouted lightly when he got closer, his arms quickly surrounding your waist to pull you into a happy hug, which you gladly returned “I have been hearing great things about you all day.” he pulled back from you to be able to look at your face.

“Well, apparently I did very good for a first timer” you answered him with a smile.

“I can tell. Your dad has done nothing but brag about it the whole night.”

“He has?” you asked with genuine surprise “So, golf, huh? Who would have thought that’s what it took for him to finally be proud of me.” you said in a self-deprecating tone.

“Don’t be so hard on him, he can be tough to deal with, but you are the apple of his eye” he tried to reassure you, but the huff of your cheeks let him know the comment was not exactly well received “Well, for that matter, I’m incredibly proud of you. You truly learned fast.” he continued in attempt to lessen the tension.

His strategy worked, because shortly you were back to a smiling mess. “I had a great teacher” you said with your eyes locked onto his “which reminds me, I still have to repay the favor. If I remember correctly, you asked for two, very simple things, didn’t you, Aaron?” you batted your eyelashes innocently as you spoke. Your hands travelled down to play with the hem of your skirt, raising it slightly to reveal some of the skin on your thighs. He couldn’t help but stare for a second, solely focused on how good your legs looked.

The moment your words dawned on him, his entire demeanor switched. His fingers gripped your wrist firmly, and with a rather rough tug he pulled you to the closest wall, forcing your back to be pressed against it, his body shielding your front from curious eyes. “Have you lost your mind?” he asked with a low voice “It’s bad enough that half these men have taken at least one look at your legs, do you know what would happen if someone noticed you’re not wearing underwear?” you could detect a hint of possessiveness in his tone, a frown plastered on his face, and so you found the opportunity to finally get what you wanted: him. Your fingers tugged at the sides of his shirt, his body still covering you from the stares of the rest of the guests.

“Then take me somewhere only you can see.” you almost whispered. He turned his head to try and spot your dad among the crowd, he seemed to be engrossed in whatever conversation he was having. He took a second look at you, and you watched as his eyes travelled quickly to your bottom piece of clothing.

He slipped his hand behind your back to guide you away from the main area of the venue and towards the bathrooms, constantly walking behind you to make sure no one else would try and pry at your rear. As you walked through the halls, you watched him snatch an ‘out of order’ sign from a random surface. Once you reached the entrance of the men’s bathroom, he gave you an order to wait for a second, he opened the door and tilted his head to look inside, once he made sure all the stalls were clear he gently pushed you in by the shoulders and hung the sign on the outside of the door.

“The men’s bathroom?” you cocked an eyebrow in his direction, a playful smile on your face.

“If your dad notices you’re gone, the first place he’ll look is your room. I don’t have one of my own because I’m an foreign guest, and men are three times less likely to ask staff for clarification about services not being provided than women.” he clarified as he locked the door; once he made sure it wouldn’t open he took a couple of steps closer to land his hands on your hips “but of course, if it makes you uncomfortable, we can always do this some other time.”

“Hell no, you’re not escaping this twice.” your tone was resolute and almost desperate, without wasting anymore time your arms threw themselves around his neck and you pulled him closer to land a kiss to his lips.

The gentleness which with he usually treated you was absolutely absent from the kiss, his mouth moved roughly against yours with his body pressing forward to close the gap between the two of you. Without so much as a warning, his hands slid from your hips to your thighs instead, he caressed his way up, lifting the skirt in the process, until he landed on your buttocks, the tightness of the squeeze he gave to them was for sure going to leave a mark, and the sensation and slight pain caused you to wince; the newly opened mouth was an invitation for his tongue to take control, you could feel it explore yours hungrily, heavy pants accompanying his movements.

“Hop.” he commanded against your lips, without a second thought you complied, and soon you were sitting on top of the lavatory counter. The coldness of the marble against your bare skin caused you to moan, and Aaron broke the kiss to shoot you a playful smile “Seems like you didn’t think this through.”

His comment allowed a blush to spread on your face. He had nailed it, you didn’t think anything through, actually, you were just so excited to see him, to be with him again, that you wanted to do something that would make him happy. “I thought this is what you wanted” you admitted with a shy tone.

“It’s you I want.” his eyes took a second to stare tenderly into yours before his lips attached to the base of your neck. Your hands tangled on his hair and your body arched forward, trying desperately to feel more of him. His own fingers snuck in between your pressed bodies to caress your slick, his middle finger prodded at the entrance, and you let out an unholy moan. His mouth attached onto yours once again with the full intention of shutting you up, two fingers slipping inside your hole. His pace was slow, painfully so, pulling in and out as if he was trying to figure out where to press best.

“Aaron.” you whispered into his mouth “No teasing, please, I need you.” you begged. He let out a chuckle, a little embarrassed of being found out, and nodded. He took a second to undo the zipper of his pants, seems like you weren’t the only one without underwear, and shortly after his member was freed.

Your legs instinctively pulled him closer at the sight. “Seems like someone’s eager.” he whispered, however he was just as desperate as you were, his right arm snaked around your body, pulling you to an angle that allowed his tip to hover at your entrance. Slowly, he began to thrust forward, giving you some time to adjust to his size. You buried your face in his neck and muttered a quiet ‘fuck’ against it. His hips began to move steadily, you could feel him fill you up, they were deep and passionate, his groans were ringing in your ear “you feel so good” he muttered against it.  

You were trying to keep your pants quiet, not wanting to cause a scene and have your dad find out you were fucking his best friend in the hotel bathroom, but he felt so good, so deep, that you couldn’t help but to let out a cry. Aaron pulled back and out of you, which caused you to whimper in protest, without a word, he forced you off the marble counter and turned you around, his hand pushing your head forward to have you bent over it instead “if you can’t keep quiet on your own, I will have to do it for you.” he raised the fabric covering your ass to expose the skin and gently guided his dick back to your entrance, his thrust, however, was way rougher compared to before. You almost let out another moan, but his hand was quick to cover your mouth tightly and it ended up muffled “seems like this will do” he whispered with a mocking tone.

His hips began to snap against yours again, faster and rougher, he was much more in control in this position. His lips focused on nibbling around the shell of your ear, trying his best for his moans to also be muffled. You could feel his balls hitting against the lower part of your pussy, your hands desperately looking for a place to grip, your throat emitting sounds trying to keep yourself sane. He felt you began to clench around him, and so he decided to slide his free hand down to rub around your sensitive clit. You could feel his rhythm become more erratic by the second, with you clenching furiously around him trying to hold back your orgasm and prolong the delicious encounter. Seeking for his release, he used one of his legs to push in between yours and slide your feet on the ground to spread them further open.

The mere gesture caused another muffled moan and you threw your head back. You were able to see yourself on the lavatory mirror, the whimpering mess you had become, and the focused, pleased expression that he had on his face. His fingers quickened the pace “Don’t push yourself for me, sweetheart, show me how good I’m making you feel.” he ordered against your ear; he leaned forward and landed a sweet kiss to your cheek, his hips never giving yours a second of rest. You snapped yours in return and when one of the thrusts was particularly deep, you let your climax take over you.

He clutched the area of your mouth tighter, making his best to push back most of the long moan that you let out. His hips began to lower his speed and his hand moved away from your face. “You still haven’t come.” you whispered trying to do your best to keep yourself propped onto your elbows.

“I’m close.” he answered as he straightened his back. He watched how his member entered and exited you, and the mere sight was making him even more excited “Can you behave for a little?” he mentioned referring to your sounds. You turned around to give him an eager nod and he responded with a smile. “Or perhaps you should let your voice out, so everyone out there can know how good I can treat you.”

You opened your mouth to answer, and in that instant his hands gripped your hips once again to snap your hips into his. You bit down on your bottom lip, hard, to avoid letting your wince come out. His thrusts went back to the original pace, and you could feel yourself just bouncing against the counter, your hands gripping the marble for dear life. His hands squeezed your ass tightly, pulling them back and forth to meet his rhythm. His member began to throb inside you, and you could feel him getting closer. “Inside.” you let out as you turned back to look at him “I want you to fill me up, Aaron” you whispered in between quiet moans.

Your expression was so erotic he couldn’t help himself. His hands gripped tighter on your already reddened rear, and they held your hips in position for his cock to slide all the way in, letting you feel the sensation of being filled up with his cum. You whimpered loudly and allowed him, slightly weak at the overstimulation he had accidentally caused.

He leaned forward to grab one of the paper towels before sliding out of you, his hand pressing it against your entrance to prevent his seed from dripping out on the floor. “We should clean you up.” he mentioned, suddenly very aware of what, and where, he had done.

“I can take care of it.” you said with a gentle smile that made his heart skip a beat.

“After we go out, please go back to your room and put something underneath.” he said almost like an order.

“Yes, sir.” you answered with a purposedly innocent smile.

He nodded approvingly and turned in the direction of the door, he was planning on  waiting outside to make sure no one would be there when you came out, that could cause suspicion, but before he actually exited he turned back around and gripped your face, in a blink, his lips were back on yours with such passion you would have thought round two was about to come. You responded with a gentle caress of his cheek and an opening of your mouth for his tongue to slip in once again. After a couple of seconds, he let go, and without another word he sneaked outside the bathroom. You were left dumbfounded and smitten in front of the stalls, giggling to yourself at what just had happened.

Aaron waited patiently, making sure no one would come around and try to get into the bathroom in spite of the ‘out of order’ sign that still hung from the door. After a few minutes, you came out of the room and he offered a gentle smile to welcome you back.

“Well, seems like I paid off my debt” you said jokingly. His arm folded and was offered in your direction, which you took gladly, for him to escort you back to the main hall.

“In that case, next time I can teach you some racquetball.”

[haesunflower]

thank the stars | royalty au with ricky

(written in the stars final chapter)

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2 , chapter 3 ✩

genre: romance, angst

pairing: princess reader x prince ricky

about/tags: your life changes, and suddenly you have to rule Astoria. Ricky lets you know he'll always be there for you – and he means it. (2.6k+ words)

y/n is a princess, death, grief/mourning, i cried while writing this

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

Your brother can barely stay awake nowadays. And for that reason, you visit him everyday, bringing with you stories about your day and sharing the little adventures you and Ricky have. You know what’s coming, in fact, everyone in the palace does. All hope seems to have gone as the days go by without any semblance of improvement on the Crown Prince Hanbin’s health. And while you try to mentally prepare for the loss of your brother, you don’t want to. 

“Sister, are you going to keep bothering me everyday like this?” Even in his condition, Hanbin finds a way to make light of the situation. You smile, just to humor him and decide to banter back. 

“In all honesty brother, it’s you that’s a nuisance. Please get better so I no longer have to deal with your astronomical amounts of paperwork”. This time, he’s the one that smiles, somberly. “How is that, by the way? Preparing to rule?” while the conversation had gotten more serious, you don’t blame him for asking. He knows his time will come to an end soon. 

“I’m terrified everyday...I’m…I’m not as great as you are, brother. I’m severely underprepared and extremely overwhelmed. And the only good thing in my life right now, well, I don’t even know if he’ll stay. He too, has a kingdom to look after.”

You drop your head down to his bed, letting choked sobs out. You’ve never said these things out loud to anyone. On a personal note, you are not even aware of what is more terrifying – ruling the country unprepared, losing your brother, never getting the chance to love Ricky. You suppose you’re crying about all three. 

Hanbin feels terrible at the sight of his youngest sister. You’re right next to him, but he doesn’t even have the energy to sit up and wipe your tears away.  “I’m sorry, Y/N….” is all he can say. He too, lets a few tears roll past his eyes. 

After a few minutes of quiet sobs, you take his hands in yours to say “It’s not your fault Hanbin. I’ll make you proud, I promise.” You notice the tears that have stained his velvet pillow, and bring up a handkerchief to wipe away at the remaining streaks on his face. The last thing he says to you is “I never doubted you for a moment, sister. You’ll achieve great things as Astoria’s Queen.”

With the confidence that your brother instills in you, you decide that it’s time to let Ricky know the truth. Your new duty is to be a proud leader of your country – to make Hanbin proud, to continue the line of succession of your parents, and to be a Queen to the people. You plan to tell him all of that tomorrow. 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

Your plan fails, because Hanbin summoned crown prince Quanrui to visit his chambers that evening. Ricky crosses paths with the King and Queen as they exit Hanbin’s chambers. The crown prince of Solaria bows respectfully, and the Queen of Astoria gently places her hands on his shoulders. 

“Don’t be too alarmed with his state. Right now, treat him as you would normally do – he needs a friend.” Ricky is confused by the Queen’s statement, but nods anyway. 

Despite the warning, Prince Quanrui gets the shock of his life when he first sees Hanbin. While his family may be used to his symptoms, others might not be. He is much smaller now with graying skin. His hair sticks to his forehead from the layer of sweat that covers his body. He also coughs out blood every now and then, and his voice is so small and hoarse, it’s hard to listen to. 

“Ah, my dear friend. Come sit.” Hanbin chokes out.

Ricky doesn’t know what to say, as all this time he had thought Hanbin had been on an expedition or managing diplomatic affairs in other countries. He had no idea his dear friend had been in the castle, slowly rotting away. To be fair, it was a well kept secret. 

“Why was I not informed, Hanbin? Did you nor Y/N not care to tell me?” Ricky is trying not to sound too betrayed. Not when Hanbin is looking at him apologetically. “No one knows about my sickness, only my family and the royal staff. And I wanted to keep it that way for a while…” Hanbin trails off as he welcomes a fit of coughs. 

“Ricky, the truth is I’m not going to get any better. This is the end of the line for me.” Ricky is studying his friend’s face and he finds no hint of sadness, rather, acceptance of his fate. Ricky doesn't know how to react to that statement. So, he places his hands against his mouth, contemplating on what to tell Hanbin. 

“It’s a lot to take in, I know. But, I need to ask you one last thing before I am unable to” more coughs erupt from Hanbin, and Ricky patiently waits for him to speak again. “It’s about Y/N…she’s so terrified, Ricky. Will you take care of her when I’m gone?” 

On the outside, it’s a simple question. For royals however, it brings about a million implications. What Hanbin really wants to ask is Will you stay with her here once I am gone? Will you give up being the King of Solaria for Y/N? Will you continue to promise to love her until the end of time? 

“Wherever she may be, I will be standing right next to her. Always.”

With that response, Hanbin nods in satisfaction. Both Hanbin and Ricky remember a time when they were young boys, sparring in the courtyard. One of their many wagers had been your hand in marriage. If Ricky could beat Hanbin, he’d let him marry his sister. When that was on the line, Ricky had never lost to Hanbin, not even once.

“I’m grateful to have known you, Ricky. Take care, my friend.” Hanbin musters up all his energy to reach out his hand for Ricky to take in a handshake. And although it is out of character for Ricky, he puts Hanbin’s arm down and instead envelopes him in a hug. 

“I’ll miss you, dear friend. Save me a sparring session up there, maybe you’ll be able to beat me by then.” Hanbin and Ricky laugh. 

That night, as Ricky leaves Hanbin’s chambers, he understands why you desperately kept asking him to wait for you. Why you cling to him like it’s the last time you are able to. And why it seems like you love him back, but cannot seem to verbalize it in any way. 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

The next time your family is complete is during the funeral of the late prince Hanbin. Though you wouldn’t consider your family to be complete ever again, not with the loss of your brother. The palace was opened to the public, and it seemed like the whole kingdom was in attendance. The service was beautiful. Your sister and royal knight Jiwoong even traveled back to Astoria. And despite all that has happened, you enveloped each other in a hug the moment you saw each other. You both cried for what seemed like days. 

Naturally, the whole kingdom mourns. The palace is extremely somber, and the nights feel longer and colder. A lot of Astoria folk find themselves gazing up at the newly formed constellation – a discovery you made the night your brother died. You named the stars after him, of course. 

You’re at the observatory with Ricky again as you go through old portraits of your families together. You laugh at the stiff royal paintings that feature all the Astoria and Solaria children. You share childhood memories of Hanbin together, and exchange kind words about him. In the end, you are grateful to have been his younger sister – to have learned what it meant to be a leader directly from growing up with him. 

You do not want to have this type of conversation with Ricky, but you feel that it is the responsible thing to do. As rulers of your own respective kingdoms. 

“I fear I’ll never measure up to him” you admit. “I’m more than terrified, I fear I’ll be a disappointment to my people, my family, to him” your voice is shaking, and you close the trunk that’s filled with portraits and childhood memories. 

“Y/N listen..” Ricky takes both your hands in his, forcing you to look him in the eye. “You are the most intelligent and passionate person I know. You are selfless, kind, and beautiful inside and out. The people of Astoria do not know you the way I do, not yet at least. Let them see you for who you are, and everything will come into place. I am sure you will rule greatly, I’m confident that you will.” 

Ricky smiles mischievously before he adds “and again, your only flaw is that you are terribly unfunny.” you smile, you will miss his candor when he returns home. “And if it’s any consolation, I’m here. You can always rely on me.” 

Your brows furrow, and you remove your hands from his when you say “but that is the issue, Ricky. You cannot be here forever. You are bound to return to Solaria eventually, I am positive that your family has been missing their crown prince”

Prince Quanrui has been away from home for almost 9 months. You are unaware of this passage of time, having been busy with your crown princess education and the loss of your brother. And in between all the responsibilities and chaos, you cannot count the amount of times you found solace in the warm embrace and soft kisses of Prince Quanrui.

“I do not need to return to Solaria, only if you command me to do so, my Y/N”. He smiles, and you cannot tell if he is being serious.

“Ricky, you do realize that I cannot command you to do anything as we are of the same royal stature, we’re equals now as in line to the throne, remember?” 

“And that is where you are severely mistaken.” Your lips pout in confusion, and you look at him expecting an explanation “I’ve long withdrawn my eligibility to the crown in Solaria. Prince Gyuvin is the crown prince now.  

Your younger half brother? you thought. “B-but why? And do not say something foolish, do not say it is because you love me”

“But that is my answer.”

“You love me enough to abandon your kingdom? Your people, your subjects, your family. Ricky you’ve been trained your whole life to rule Solaria – and you’re going to just leave? Just like that?” You honestly do not know what kind of answer you are searching for. Perhaps it is validation you seek, that someone is capable of loving you so greatly to put you first.

“I would abandon all duty for you.”

Oh. You think. Love, so it is capable of being that easy. 

You are so emotionally moved by this declaration. How easy it is for Ricky to just choose love above all things. How Ricky patiently waited for you, just like you asked. How he didn’t ask any questions when you told him you would be next in line for the throne. How that would mean that he cannot marry you and make you his queen in Solaria. How he would rather withdraw his position just to be closer to you, here, in Astoria. How that is exactly what he did, as he wrote his letter to the King and Queen of Solaria shortly after his last conversation with Hanbin.

“Y/N, you and I both know my heart has always been here with you in Astoria anyway.”

You move closer to him and desperately envelope him in a tight embrace. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, like the very first night he kissed you. He’s a little taken aback, but reciprocates almost immediately. Your touch evokes more words that you could ever utter – feelings of love, gratefulness, relief, above all, happiness. 

When Ricky kissed you that night, you understood that this was exactly how it was meant to be all along. As if the very act of loving you is his duty itself.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

The royal wedding of the Crown Princess of Astoria happens a year after Hanbin’s death. Prince Ricky, who will soon gain the title of Royal Prince of Astoria, stands proudly in the garden of stars. Like you, he’s dressed in all white. Your wedding ceremony is fully decorated with red roses, personally delivered by the King and Queen of Solaria.

As you walk down the aisle, your long jeweled dress flows against the gentle breeze of the night sky. Ricky is smiling, the biggest you’ve ever seen – even as he is under a plethora of constellations, he thinks you’re the most beautiful star tonight.

His parents, the King and Queen of Solaria, watch him as he looks at you. And his mother gives his son a genuine smile in return, before whispering something to her husband (if i’m not mistaken, along the lines of ‘he’s happy here’). Meanwhile, the crown prince Gyuvin snickers and tries to hold back his laughter at how lovesick his brother looks. 

Your sister sits proudly in the second row with King Hao of Mariposa by her side. She gives you a small wave, smiling brightly. Next to her, Hao is clapping, nodding gently towards you. Your sister reaches out to give a supportive squeeze to his shoulder, and he takes her hand in his. Throughout the ceremony, your sister and King Hao hold hands. He doesn’t feel pain anymore. Knight Jiwoong is also close by, watching over little Yujin and Yeseo. But sometimes, he cannot help but glance at the way his Queen and the King of Mariposa intertwine fingers.  

Your father hands you off to walk on your own. And as he takes his seat next to your mother, they smile at each other. Your mother takes his hand in hers comfortingly, as tears threaten to spill from both their eyes. 

When you reach him at the end of the aisle, he takes your hand, ungloves it, and presses a kiss. Everything feels right as you share your first kiss as a married pair. You have no coherent thoughts as he presses his warm lips against yours, the same passion and electricity pulses through you as he kisses you deeper. He cuts it short, out of respect for the audience, and you giggle a little when he whispers “more of that later” 

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

After the wedding ceremony and the consummation of your marriage – you and Ricky find yourselves lying peacefully in bed. The moonlight enters your bedchamber and lands beautifully on his platinum hair. You watch as Ricky’s bare chest rises and falls, his breathing steady – a sure indicator that he has fallen into deep slumber. So you inch yourself closer to him, caressing his cheek with the back of your hand oh so delicately.

But he isn’t exactly asleep, and in response, he pulls you towards him even more. Your face is safely tucked into his chest, his arm is draped around your waist, and your legs have since intertwined into a tangled mess. 

“Thank you for waiting for me. I love you.” You whisper. You mean it.

He hums, opening his eyes to check on you. This time, your eyes are closed as you settle in a comfortable position, nuzzled into him. He pats through your hair softly, before turning to the side to look at the window where Hanbin’s constellation shines brightly. 

Then, he thanks the stars for the existence of his Y/N.

—--⋆⋆☆⋆⋆—-- 

A/N: i cried guys, real tears

what do we think about the ending for all characters?

✩ chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3✩ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

taglist: @en-ct @honghongbri @beomibeom @jiaant11 @ohdudedhesflirting (and tagging other people that left comments on other chapters @cherriegyu @annoyingbitch83 @missuszabini @aleinasstuff @wtfhyuck @zhanghrt @flwrinn @xiaoting999 @xmxcris @seokmthw @kyrjnie @dimplewonie @leoonoa @shiningstar-byulxx @wonbokkies) @kflixnet

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[gaiathemexicanbeauty]

new neighbor | joel miller x reader (part 2)

parts: 1 2 3

warnings: none! slight suggestive stuff (its his arms. you look at his arms and trust me, i looked at his arms. ur gonna wanna look at his arms.)

word count: 1.5k

still pre-outbreak! :D this part isn’t THAT necessary but it builds tension for “WHEN ARE THEY GONNA MEET” 

i worked on this for a week (it was a little crazy in a good way) and as long as it is, i am still kind of proud of it! we’ll see if i keep writing for joel in the future (i am hyperfixating on the last of us so hard right now bc im also playing the game)

but for now, i hope you like how this turned out and happy reading! don’t forget to check out my ask box even if its just to chat! :D

joel shuts the door to his truck before locking it, tossing the keys only an inch in the air and catching them in his open palm. he heads for the door, looking up for a second then doing a double take. there they were, the neighbor sarah had been so adamant for him to meet. they had their hands on their hips, back turned to him as they faced a box inside the van. slightly amused (and nosey like his daughter), he leaned against the truck to watch what was about to unfold.

you stare down the box in front of you, squinting at it partly because of the sun and partly out of trying to convince an inanimate object to suddenly grow lighter. this was the last of it’s kind, every other box was light enough for you to knock out and start unpacking; that and the repairman would come by to fix your a.c. with no one to help, though, you didn’t know how to get this box out of here: technically (and you about this for a bit), there was an able-bodied man just across the street and sarah had confirmed that with the scolding she had received the day before. but imagine that, you thought to yourself, he doesn’t even know your first name and you’re already asking for help. so going it alone it is. you step forward, hands on either side of the box to pull it to the edge of the van’s opening. wrapping your arms around it, you take a deep breath and start to take a step back; bad idea. you hadn’t anticipated the weight, stumbling backwards with a short gasp as you prepare to meet concrete. “woah, woah, i got it.”

the weight in your arms is still there, leaving you with your knees bent in an attempt to keep yourself upright. “we’ll carry it over to the door together and i’ll take it the rest of the way. that sound alright?” the slightly strained voice across from you says, making you look up. oh. you meet his dark eyes and nod wordlessly as you tighten your hold on the box. “watch your feet.” he says, taking steps backward to your front door. you try to take in your surroundings like he says but you can’t take your eyes off his arms; does that t-shirt fit him like that all the time or only on the rare chances that he flexes? he suddenly takes the box out of your arms, turning to drop the box onto the floor as gently as possible. “um, thanks. thank you.” you say, clearing your throat as you tear your eyes away from the floor to look him in the eye. it’s quiet between you two; not much else left to say. “um, my name’s joel. i live right over there just across the street.” he outstretches his hand for you to shake and you take it a little too quickly. oh wow. his grip is firm and you can feel the callouses there before he pulls away, leaving your hand to hang in the air uselessly in the air for a few seconds. “i’m y/n. i had a feeling that was you the other day. i met-” “my daughter. yeah, sorry about her, she’s just...excitable is all.” joel says with quiet sigh but you can see the hint of a smile on his face, the flash of affection in his eyes.

“oh she’s no trouble. in fact, i let her know she can come over whenever she likes, but there is work waiting to be done here.” you say with a grin, taking a few steps back to sit on the box joel had just put down; “i’d offer you a seat but i barely have one myself.” you wince. “well, if it’s fine by you, you can come over to my place. sarah’s at school and my brother’s off to work.” “oh, i don’t want to be a bother.” you say as you start to stand: in no time at all, you’re sitting in joel’s kitchen with the pleasant feeling of a.c.

joel chuckles at the sigh of relief you let out when you drop onto a chair conveniently placed next to the air conditioning. “that whole fucking house is an OVEN, good god...” you murmur as you let the cool air hit your face. “now, i’d volunteer to fix it for you, but i don’t think i’d last a damn minute in there without sweating like a pig.” joel says, offering you a beer which you gladly take; without hesitation, you angle the edge of the metal top against the table before slamming your fist down onto the table onto the bottle’s head until the bottle makes a fizzing sound that signals you that it’s open. you smile in satisfaction at the hissing sound it makes before realizing what you did, giving joel a ‘sorry’ look. “oh, don’t act all hurt about it. lord knows how many times me and tommy’ve done that.” he says as he unscrews the metal top with little effort. the two of you sit in comfortable silence, the only sound being the whir of the a.c. or the sound of the glass hitting the table. joel was surprised at himself, not only for really taking the time to walk over to you, but to invite you into his house so soon? tommy would probably get a laugh out of that.

“so what brings you to austin? job?” “oh, no, i’m studying at UT. didn’t really get the chance when i was younger, so no time like the present, huh?” you say, taking a long swig of your drink. “that’s mighty admirable. i...was having sarah around my prime college time, can’t say i wouldn’t do it all over again.” joel says, finger playing with the peeling label on his beer. he looks up when you shrug, meeting your eyes as you rest your chin on your palm. “being a father is admirable. i’m sure she looks up to you.” joel scoffs at that but smiles nonetheless, taking a sip from his drink. it’s strange to him how natural this all feels to him, even the silence is welcome despite how little the two of you know one another. “um, what about you? you an austin native?” “born and raised.” “perfect.” you say with much more enthusiasm than before, both of you sitting a little bit taller now. “i’ve been eating ham sandwiches and maruchan for the past week. my fridge and things like that don’t come for 2 more days so i need some recommendations. got any places i could never go wrong with?” you laugh when joel whistles and sits back, growing visibly more comfortable. “where to begin.” he starts, smiling at the way you shrug and take a sip of your drink.

sarah waves to tommy as he drives off, letting herself into the house. she’s about to announce her arrival before she hears sudden laughter from the kitchen; that didn’t sound like joel. she walks over to the kitchen doorframe, peeking her head in as discreetly as possible. what a scene, indeed. your chair was next to joel’s now, your head tipped back in laughter and your hand on joel’s arm. sarah bit her lip to hide the smile on her face at the (somewhat unusual) sight of a smile on her dad’s lips; of course, his arms remained crossed against his chest. they make hushed conversation, a few sarcastic “oh, really?”s and “yeah?”s leaving them as they talk about something only they know. sarah finally raps her knuckle on the doorframe, making you and joel jump a bit. “christ, um, hey, kiddo. didn’t hear you come in.” joel says after clearing his throat. “sorry. didn’t want to interrupt anything.” sarah says with a shrug as she drops her backpack on one of the empty chairs; she pretended not to notice the way you were trying to distance yourself from joel. “that’s alright. i’ve overstayed my welcome anyhow.” the two of you stand together, joel saying a quick “don’t you worry, i’ll get that” when you try to clear the bottles from the table. “well, i’ll be off then. you guys have a good night and i’ll see you next week, joel.” you say, smiling at the two of them before making your way out of the house.

joel freezes at your last comment as sarah looks at her dad with a growing grin. “what’s next week?” joel drops the bottles into the trash, his back turned to sarah. “none of your business.” “oh, joel. see you next week, JOEL.” sarah says in an exaggerated flirty tone, intertwining her fingers together and propping her chin on her hands. “stop it.” he grumbles but can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. “you’re getting soft, old man. doesn’t look good on you.” sarah jokes to which joel simply scoffs. she laughs as she makes her way towards the living room, leaving her dad in the kitchen with his thoughts. he looks up for a second, looking out the kitchen window that lets him see your yard. a small smile tugs at his lips when he sees the lights in the house go out before he finally walks towards the living room.

MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY FROM TYPING THIS SO FAST WOOOAHHHH

im patting myself on the back bc i managed to write this while simultaneously doing english homework (college is a pain in the butt) so i hope that you all enjoy this! :D

would yall want to see a part 3 to this? let me know in the replies! it would probably be the date to be honest and maybe a little smooch ;D

BUT FOR NOW i hope you all have a good rest of your day/night/afternoon and stay safe! <33

LOVELIES <3 (taglist): @lokilover476 @littleshadow17 @avengersfan25​ @3zae-zae3 @randomisart​ 

[navibluebees]

Someone to be Proud of (Recom Quaritch x Female Human Reader) Bonus Scene*

Please read before interacting.

My apologies if the earlier chapter made you sad~ This is ALLLL smut. And some giggles. This takes place in the time where Y/N and Miles are both at Bridgehead. Minors, look awayyy thanks

Miles was excited when he got your message on his tablet. Most people were given them for work, but it was also possible to install secure messaging apps. He was sitting in the corner of the gym while the other recoms worked out or goofed off. He was about to go to the shower and get ready for bed when the little light popped up. He smiled and slid his finger across the transparent screen to open up the message, excited for whatever you sent. A picture of your tits was not what he was expecting. He sat there frozen, mouth dropping open and snapping shut. He blinked at the screen, having stopped functioning.

“Hey boss, what are you looking at over there?!” One of the recoms shouted. He couldn’t say which one, he was so flustered. His ears flattened as he got up and stalked out of the room. Once out in the empty hallway, he minimized the picture and sent a message back.

 Miles: What the hell were you thinking, sending that while I was at the gym? You are in SO much trouble when I see you. I’m taking a shower and you better be in my room when I get out.

You : ehehehe >:) be there soon. Xo

Miles rolled his eyes, sitting the tablet down in his room and grabbing a towel for the shower. He went to the shower stall at the end of the row, turned on the water, and set his stuff down on the bench right inside the first curtain. The second curtain separated the shower from the bench. He undressed quickly and stepped into the stream of hot water. Steam rose from his skin as the water pounded against him. He sighed, relaxing his muscles. His ear twitched as he heard the first shower curtain being moved. 

“Hey, this stall is in use.. obviously,” he muttered. Nobody responded and he frowned in confusion. He heard the curtain move again and groaned. “Dammit which one of you is-“ He pulled the curtain back and was startled to see you standing there naked and grinning at him. Your clothes were in a pile on top of his. His jaw dropped again before he grabbed your arm and pulled you into the shower with him. You giggled suddenly and couldn’t stop a snort from slipping out, causing you to laugh harder. Torn between wanting to kiss you and being severely annoyed with you he put his hand over your mouth. 

“Shh. The others will be here soon and I don’t want them to hear you.”

You nodded eagerly and reached up to wrap your arms around his waist. He smiled at you and rubbed your shoulders lightly. He leaned back and started to wash his hair, massaging shampoo into his scalp. You stepped back and looked up at him, your face flushing with the heat and intimacy.

“I can feel you staring at me, Y/N.”

“Sorry, I just can’t help it,” you pouted. 

He finished rinsing his hair and ran his thumb along your bottom lip. “Poor baby. Must be so difficult.”

You nodded and snapped at his thumb. He jerked back quickly and his tail smacked you on your ass. He’d gotten better with using it lately, for a variety of things. You grinned wickedly at him. He rolled his eyes and turned around to wash his face. You gripped his thighs from behind, caressing the thick muscles. His body shivered at your touch. You leaned forward, resting your head on top of his tail. “Y/N. My ass is not your pillow.”

“Ughgghg you’re no fun-“

His hand slapped across your mouth as you heard people coming into the bathroom. You licked his palm and he grunted, trying to pull away. You latched onto his wrist and he eyed you deviously. His hips shifted and you could feel his hard length against the back of your neck. You relaxed your grip on his wrist and turned around, eye level to exactly what you wanted. You slowly pushed him against the stall wall, lifting his semi-hard cock up to your mouth. You heard a sharp intake of breath from him and pushed against him more, his knee between your legs. You took the tip in your mouth, opening wide and licked him all over. He shuddered and sighed softly. He gripped the back of your neck as gently as possible and thrusted toward your mouth.

You were grinding against his leg and rubbing his balls and kissing his tip and he was going wild. He looked down at you taking him deeper in your mouth and almost came right there. You sucked and lapped at him, nuzzling against his thigh when you pulled away. He took himself in hand and rubbed his cock against your cheek, moving it slowly to tap on your lips with it. You playfully turned your head and mouthed ‘nope’. A whine came out of him, his face frowning. 

“Hey, Colonel, you okay?” Fike asked. 

“He’s fine, just taking up the hot water,” retorted Wainfleet.

You grinned at him and took as much as you could in one swift movement. He grabbed for the bar bolted into the wall and nearly fell to his knees before you. You continued sucking and bobbing your head, rubbing the rest of his length with your hands. His body jerked with the pleasure and strain of trying to keep quiet. He was about to cum when you pulled away. You had been able to feel him tensing underneath your touch and insisted on continuing to tease him. He shot you the same wicked look you’d given him earlier and carefully scooped you up. He pulled your legs around his waist, your arms around him. 

He reached between you and gently rubbed at your folds. Finding you already soaking wet, he adjusted his cock and covered your mouth before quickly thrusting in. You slid all the way down on him, eyes rolling back, adjusting to the stretch. He leaned over you, holding you against the stall wall. He lifted your chin with the hand covering your mouth and had the other on your ass. He made you look into his eyes and he was looking at you with such passion that you almost had to hide away. He kept your gaze on his, playfulness turning to pleading. Begging you to see him. He got as close to your ear as he could and started rambling.

“You’re gorgeous. Taking me so well. Damn I just love seeing you on me. I love- I love- this I love this. His body jerked and he finished inside you with a ‘thankyouthankyouthankyou Y/N’

He slowed carefully, but you demanded with your eyes, shaking your head. Don’t stop.

He nodded in understanding and continued thrusting, returning to his placement and rhythm, where he was resting against you brushing your clit in the most pleasurable way. You gripped his arms, holding on for dear life until you clenched and came around him. He was so sensitive, whimpering with each time you squeezed his cock. He slowly lifted you off of him and set you down. Your legs slightly jelly, he put an arm around you, getting down onto his knees. He pressed his forehead to yours and nuzzled under your jaw, giving soft kisses while cleaning you off. He sat you on his knee while you washed your face and stared at you the whole time, just so enthralled by you.

He shut the water off and you both stared at each other completely in your own world. Shaking from the daze, he pulled the curtain back to the towel when he realized he only had one. Saving the worry for a bit longer, you insisted he sit down on the bench, patting it for him to sit. You pulled out the moisturizer and put some in your hands massaging it into your skin. You moved in between his legs and gently massaged it across his face. He fought the rumble threatening from deep in his chest. He just couldn’t stop fucking purring around you. You smiled knowingly and gave him a soft kiss on the nose.

He got up and wrapped the towel around his waist and then poked his head out, being greeted by other recoms waiting for the showers. Figuring they’d see you eventually, you poked your head out, holding the curtain across your body and waving. A few blushed. Some tried to see more. A shit-eating grin appeared on Lyle’s face as he said, “Oooh. Do the showers have new complimentary services?”

Miles whipped around with the extra towel in his hand and hissed at him. Lyle threw his hands up in surrender, winking at you when Miles turned back to you. You giggled and he growled in annoyance. He bundled you in the Avatar-size towel, only your face peeking out. He grabbed the rest of his stuff and tossed you over his shoulder, holding you with the same arm. Eager to antagonize, you said, “Bye boyyyss!” In a sing-song voice. Immediately after, you felt a hand smack you across the ass. You yelped and heard the recoms laughing all the way back to Miles’ room. 

***

Taglist:

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[mikhailwrites]

Waiting for Connection 8 / Ghost x Soap NerdAU

Ghost is retired and plays milsim videogame. Soap is still in the force and sometimes plays that same videogame...

This is a bit of a mid-chapter, there will be a full chapter today as well - Soap and Ghost finally meeting face to face - but this was just... way too fun to write not to share.

Previous chapter | AO3

“Sooo,” Gary drags the chair closer, causing it to screech on the floor, earning several annoyed grunts from the other soldiers in the rec room. Soap looks up from his sketchbook, eyebrow questioningly raised. “Gonna confess, or do I have to work for it?”

“What are you on about, Roach?” Soap puts the sketchbook down before reaching for the mug on the table. He takes a sip, grimacing at the taste of the coffee.

“Ghost,” Roach clarifies.

Soap sighs; he should’ve seen this coming. “What about him?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Gary stares at him in disbelief, “how about you being totally smitten with him? Or the fact that he seems to be equally smitten with you?”

“What the hell? What are you talking about?” Soap straightens, brows knitted together and posture clearly defensive.

“Mate…,” Gary shakes his head. “Alright. Let’s not address your obvious crush on a man you’ve never even seen.”

“Gonna see him on Saturday,” Soap says and belatedly realises he just gave Roach a bloody bazooka.

Gary stares at him for a second, wide-eyed, before his face blooms into a shit-eating grin. “Are you, now?”

Soap runs a hand through his mohawk. Well, in for a penny and all that, he thinks. “Aye. It’s along the way to Glasgow. We’re just going to grab a pint or two, and I’ll be on my way.” He doesn’t mention that he usually takes a plane to Glasgow. He is actually going out of his way to see Ghost. But Roach definitely doesn’t need to know that.

“John…,” Gary leans to John, suddenly much more serious, “when was the last time you had friends outside the military?”

“He’s ex-military,” Soap objects.

“Answer the question, Sergeant,” Roach presses on.

Soap squirms a little, gaze dropping on the table. “Before I enlisted.”

“I’m not trying to talk you out of it, mate, just… be careful, alright?”

“I’m SAS, Roach,” Soap says a little defensively. He doesn’t need Roach to babysit him.

“I’m not talking about your physical safety. Anyway… we should also talk about that callsign of his.”

“It’s just a nickname for the game,” Soap shrugs.

“Jesus wept… remind me never to let you have my six again! You would probably shoot me in the back yourself, what with how daft you are! Look, I’ve spent one evening playing a stupid game with him to see that he owns that callsign. So either he’s a pretentious prick who took a callsign of only one of the fucking legends of SAS, or…,” Roach trails off, gesturing for Soap to draw his own conclusions.

“Yer not serious… he’s not…,” Soap shakes his head, “he can’t be…,” then he looks up at Garry with something akin to panic in his eyes. “Can he?”

Lieutenant Kyle “Gaz” Garrick was enjoying his book in the rec room in peace. Until he heard a single word uttered that dragged his attention from the words on the paper to words spoken not far from him. That word being, of course, Ghost.

Gaz doesn’t want to eavesdrop on his men, but it’s hard to let go once the callsign registers. And so he listens, and the more he hears, the harder it is to keep quiet and low-key. When Ghost asked to meet, Kyle knew something was up, especially since he was willing to come to London.

At first, Gaz thought it was just Ghost being paranoid and overly cautious about someone he had spent more than ten minutes with, which was pretty normal for Ghost. But the glint in his eyes when Gaz confirmed Soap is SAS? The momentary panic when Gaz implied Ghost likes Soap? Knowing what he knows now, Gaz can barely keep his face straight. Oh, this is going to be so much fun.

When John pauses to think whether Ghost can really be The Ghost, Kyle gets up and leaves the room. Gaz is really proud of himself because he manages to get all the way outside the building before he breaks into laughter. A bunch of recruits and some lower officers look at him with some bewilderment before scurrying away.

[centralperkchenford]

I've just read your latest Ava fic where she requests for a baby sister and I raise you one: Ava and/or Daisy figuring out Lucy is pregnant with the twins before Lucy even finds out herself 🫣🙏

references: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvvPno3ofHP/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwBeV1dI3GM/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

You ask and you shall receive 😏. This is Lucy finding out she’s pregnant with Levi and June!

Also thank you for the references! It definitely helped!

I've just read your latest Ava fic where she requests for a baby sister and I raise you one: Ava and/or Daisy figuring out Lucy is pregnant with the twins before Lucy even finds out herself 🫣🙏

Thank God for kids, there's magic for a while

It happens randomly one day when Lucy is at the counter making lunch for Ava and Daisy. She’s cutting up an apple when Ava comes up, ducks so she’s standing in front of her and places her hand on Lucy’s stomach. Lucy looks down at her four year old with raised eyebrows.

“Whatcha doing there Aves?” She asks. Ava has a thoughtful look on her face as she looks up at Lucy.

“There are babies in your belly.” Says Ava in a matter of fact tune. Lucy stares at her four year old in disbelief as she runs her hand up and down her belly.

“There’s a baby in my belly?” She asks her but Ava shakes her head hard her ponytail flying.

“No mommy. Two babies.” Ava says and she holds up two fingers. “Two.”

Lucy wants to laugh she really does because having twins would just add to the chaos. They weren’t even trying to get pregnant and while their sex life was very good, she’s not sure they would be able to handle another baby let alone two at one time. And she knows if they did they would love them so much. It’s just the thought of two…

“How do you know there’s two babies?” Lucy asks Ava and her daughter shrugs as she moves away.

“I’m going to go tell daddy!” Ava says and before Lucy can stop her she’s headed towards Tim’s office.

Tim comes out a couple minutes later and usually Lucy can read his face but this is one of complete panic and something else.

“We are having twins??” He asks. Ava is standing next to him looking proud that she just broke her father.

Lucy glances at Ava and then back at Tim who is pale as a ghost. “No. Well I don’t know.” She says. Tim looks like he’s about to faint or run through the wall.

“You don’t know?” He chokes out. Lucy glanced at Ava again and she still smiling her eyes on Lucy’s belly.

“Ava go play.” She tells her daughter sternly. “I need to fix your father.” Ava giggles and scampers off to the playroom.

Tim moves forward although his movements are stiff. “Lucy are you pregnant?” He asks. She shakes her head.

“No Tim. Ava just came up to me and said there were babies in my belly. She’s four Tim. She has no idea if I’m pregnant or not. Let alone with twins.” She says. “If I were pregnant I would know.”

The color started to return to Tim’s face as he nods. “Okay. I mean twins would be great but I mean.”

Lucy laughs as she goes into his arms and he holds her tightly. “Tim relax. I don’t know much about twins but they don’t run on my side of the family. Or if they do.. look I’m not pregnant.”

Tim kisses the top of her head letting out a sigh. “Can you imagine two Ava’s?” He mutters. Lucy snorts.

Lord help them all of the ever do have twins.

***

A week later it happens again except this time it’s Daisy. Her two year old is laying on her chest and suddenly her hand slips to Lucy’s stomach.

“Babies.” She says quietly. Lucy freezes her finger on the remote.

“What did you say baby?” She asks Daisy. Daisy sits up and looks Lucy dead in the eyes. Her brown eyes serious.

“Babies.” She says again and then she gently pats Lucy’s stomach. “In belly.” Lucy drops the remote and turns to her daughter.

“Did sissy tell you to say that?” She asks Daisy. She can totally see her older daughter whispering something in Daisy’s ear and Daisy being two and gullible would just repeat it. But Daisy shakes her head, still looking serious.

“Babies belly.” She says. “In belly.” Lucy tilts her head at her two year and she really wonders how Daisy would know this.

“How do you know this?” She asks her daughter. She doesn’t expect much of a answer though. Daisy just shrugs and then leans forward and kisses her belly.

“Bye babies.” She says and she toddles off. Lucy sighs and watches her go and then bites her lip.

Should she take a test just to see if she’s pregnant?

She glances at the front door, Tim would be home at any minute for the grocery store. So she stands up and heads up to her bathroom but not before checking on the girls who are in the playroom.

She sighs again and goes into the bathroom, opening the cabinet and digging though looking for the pregnancy test she knows she has on hand.

She takes it out with shaky hands and then reads the instructions. There’s no way she’s pregnant. She pees on the stick and then sets her timer. She sets the test careful not to contaminate it and then she paces the bathroom.

Three minutes later her timer goes off and she checks the test. Pregnant flashes on the screen and she almost falls backwards. She is pregnant?? She counts back to her last period and yep. She had been so busy with the girls and work she didn’t even realize…

She hears the front door open and Tim calls out to her. “Luce? I’m home!”

Lucy clutches the pregnancy test in her hand as she rushes down the stairs, with Ava and Daisy in front of her. The girls are already attached to Tim’s legs as he moves through the house. He glances at Lucy, and frowns slightly.

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks moving slowly towards her. She shakes her head tears burning her eyes as she holds up the test. Tim gets closer and his eyes widen.

“Oh.” He says. He glances down at the two girls who are giggling as they clutch his pants. “You are pregnant?” He whispers. She nods and his face breaks into a smile.

“Oh my god.” He says and he gathers her in his arms as she buries her head into his chest. “Baby this is good. I know we weren’t planning on it.” Lucy looks up at him and smiles.

“I know! I just.. I didn’t know or even realize.” She cries. Tim laughs as he rubs her back.

“Mommy no crying!” Says Ava and Lucy laughs as Ava looks up at her. She looks at Tim who nods.

“These are happy tears Aves. Mommy’s having a baby.” She says. Daisy looks up too and Ava smiles widely.

“No mommy you are having two.” She says. “Two babies.” Lucy shakes her head as she gathers Ava in her arms holding her tightly.

“Probably not Ava. There’s probably only one baby in there.” Lucy says. Ava protests but doesn’t say anything as she hugs on Lucy.

Just the five of them.

***

Lucy goes to the doctor a few days later just to confirm. Tim sits besides her and this time Ava and Daisy are with them. Ava keeps insisting there’s two babies in her tummy. The doctor runs the wand over her stomach and she hears a heartbeat. Tim squeezes her hand.

“Looks like you are around 8 weeks. And oh!” The doctor pauses and Lucy hears the heartbeat but it’s louder almost like there’s..

“It looks like you are having twins.” She says smiling at Lucy. Ava giggles on Tim’s lap and Lucy doesn’t need to turn and see what Tim’s face looks like.

“Excuse me.” He chokes out. The doctor laughs as she runs the wand over one little blob and then another.

“There are definitely two babies in there.” The doctor says. Lucy does turn to look at Tim who is deathly pale.

“Two?” He asks. “Two babies as in twins? As in one, two?” The doctor nods.

“Is he okay?” She asks Lucy. Lucy bites her lips from laughing, Ava was still bouncing on Tim’s lap.

“I told you mommy!! I told you there were two!” She says clapping her hands. Lucy smiles at how excited she is and then turns to Tim. She’s surprisingly calm in this.

“Tim. We can handle two. We have two right now. What’s two more? And besides it’s double the love, double the fun. We can do this.” She says and Tim smiles at her albeit weakly.

“I know. It��s just—” He trails off and Lucy squeezes his hand again vaguely aware of the doctor still in the room.

“Scary as hell? Yep. But look at much you love Ava and Daisy. You will love these two just as much.” Lucy says and Tim stands up holding the girls in his arms as he bends over to kiss Lucy.

“We got this.” He says. “We got this.”

Lucy nods and takes Daisy from him as the doctor prints out the images. She hands them to Lucy and then leaves the room. Lucy stares down at it. At their two babies.

Now it was just the six of them.

[eyesaremosaics]

The world is in such a state, that I feel embarrassed sharing my thoughts or feelings about anything, especially something as petty as my personal problems.

I’m writing today for myself, and maybe someone out there can relate.

I’ve been going through changes for a while now. I’m definitely experiencing a spiritual awakening I have had many encounters (some I initiated, but most having to do with the random crossing of paths) that were very healing, some after ten years or more of silence between us. It’s almost like… all the wounding that I did and that was done to me in my twenties has come full circle.

I have felt overflowing love, understanding, as well as a consciousness of my part to play in every relationship/situation. It was painful to look at my shadow self so clearly. To peel back the layer of victimhood, and realize that maybe I was the problem, in many respects.

Yet in this process of fully realizing my faults, I have developed something I never had before: compassion for myself. I understand why I was the way I was, and looking back, I was able to see just how far I’ve come. It was a good feeling, a proud feeling. Tying off loose ends energetically from so many people from my past. People who were major players in my story (and I in theirs).

It’s bittersweet, the forgiveness is heartfelt on both sides, yet the empty echo of what was, and will never be again lingers on. Yet the older I get, the more I realize it’s all perspective.

With the impending eclipse, I have felt this urge to transform. This shedding of skin. I keep peeling it off like strips, like the bark from a very old tree. I’m uncomfortable being “comfortable”. I keep thinking beyond me, I constantly leave my body, float up to god knows where.

This quiet dissociation gets me into trouble.

On the regular.

Like a fever dream you live on, a heartbeat in my head. All the dreams, your shadowed face. All apologies. Wanting to speak to me. Whispering words I can’t remember upon waking. It feels like energetic stalking. Sitting on all these words I’ve written.

All the perspective I’ve gained in recent weeks… on each past relationship I had. The gifts I got from each lover, what I learned, and how I’ve changed. I harbor no anger toward any of them anymore. I understand it all. I see it from a Birds Eye view. The drop in the bucket, rippling out into ocean blue. The reverberation spills into areas I don’t even realize, to people I’ve never met.

Sitting with all the ugly things I’ve said and done in my life.

Comforted by the fact that in my heart I know I never meant any harm. I know myself now. I know I never hurt anyone on purpose. I was just trying to survive, through so much trauma and pain, just as they were.

I have compassion for each of them, and I also have compassion for myself.

The only way you can shift your beingness, is to live by example. Just be the thing you wish to see. Show up differently, and consistently. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

I’m doing a cleanse to prepare for the Ayahuasca ceremony. I need the purge, I need to purify my spirit. They say the first session is like opening a Pandora’s box. The second open heart surgery, the third is repair, or sewing you back up. I need this hard reset more than I can explain.

My friend Alejandro did the ceremony after both of his parents died rather suddenly. Therapy wasn’t working, so he tried Ayahuasca, and said it was like 100 therapy sessions in one. He said his dead mother (whom he had been very close to) came down and wrapped her arms around him and held him while he cried. He knew he didn’t have to be so sad anymore, because she was always around him, whenever he needed her. Powerful stuff.

I am a little afraid to open the Pandora’s box of all the SA I’ve experienced. I lost count. It’s really sad. I don’t talk about my traumas anymore, mainly because it just makes everyone around me uncomfortable. Plus I don’t like the way people change how they are towards you. It’s a part of my past, but it doesn’t define me. I am not what happened to me.

Fearful that I will have to relive some of these memories. Hoping to connect with some of those who have passed on. Hoping to resolve this thing with you that keeps cropping up in my mind nearly a decade later. Why is it surfacing now?

I used to write poetry. Now I don’t feel confident enough to string words together.

Yet I express myself in other ways. Or do I? Am I merely stunted? I feel like I can’t be myself with my partner, or with many people I am forced to deal with on a regular basis.

Started just being myself again, regardless of how I think it will be received. This has been to greet results. Yet I fear I am outgrowing many of my relationships… this is uncomfortable, as some of these are my primary anchors. Hoping to get clear about these things in the coming months.

I feel different, I’m not who I was, but I’m still in a state of becoming.

So many old wounds resurfacing. I know this is a time of healing, and I am eager to receive all the light.

Hoping you are all feeling the changes too in your own lives. Curious to hear if you’ve had similar things come up for you in these trying times… especially with all the transits taking place.

[saintzenni]

Hey have been asking enterprise writers these questions from the fanfic asks going around, feel free to answer or not! (I just like hearing how people write). 🖖

What’s your favourite line you’ve written in a fic? 

What is your ideal writing set up? 

What is your favourite fic you’ve written and why?

Any advice for writers working through writers block or burnout? 

oooo first ask!!! this is so exciting hehehe

what is your favourite line you've written in a fic?

that is a very good question. i think probably this one:

“Captain Reed was sombre, never speaking more than he needed to, and he carried himself with a martial erectness that made his eyes alert and watchful, as if he was concerned that one of the women in their satins and leg-of-mutton sleeves would suddenly draw a bayonet on him; his collar was crisp and unwieldy on his neck and the pin on his cravat was simple, just a tear-drop pearl.”

from “Danse Macabre” or this one:

“Garak doesn’t answer, instead watching the slow march of the stars like arachnids across the windowpane.”

from “Cobwebs on the Windowpane,” but it’s really hard to choose!! i have a few others i constantly re-use lol, which i guess are kind of my favourites in a different way? for example, i say “clavicle” an ungodly amount, lol.

what is your ideal writing setup?

i’m pretty low-maintenance when it comes to my writing setup. usually i like to write sitting in my bed (because it’s warm and comfy). i always prefer to have a big glass of water with me and a snack nearby so i don’t have to get up while i’m in the zone lol. i tend to slouch real bad over my laptop oops

i use word on my laptop almost exclusively (times new roman, 12pt font, 8pt spacing between indented paragraphs. i am begging ao3 to let us indent our paragraphs PLEASE). i barely ever write on my phone except to record small notes for ideas that come to me during the day.

what is your favourite fic you've written and why?

this is really tough because i go through phases with almost all of my stories where i intermittently think they’re the best thing i’ve ever written and then i hate them. i think right now i love rereading “Sing Me Lullabies in Form of Your Catcalls” probably the most out of any of my stories. i'm really like “Daydreams (Are a Mild Form of Dissociation)” because it’s the longest thing i’ve written in years and i’m really proud of myself for sticking with it even when i felt like giving up. i think “Danse Macabre” is also up there for me because it’s so out of my comfort zone but i don’t think it can be at the top yet because i’ve only written one chapter of the story, haha. and of course i loved collaborating with @glitter-and-metal on “You and Me”! it was really neat seeing how other people work :)

any advice for writers working through writer's block or burnout?

when i’m having a period of writer’s block, i tend to try to do other things that don’t involve writing. i go out with friends, focus on schoolwork, and try to enjoy myself. sometimes, in the process of living my life, ideas will come to me and i’m inspired to write them down! also i find taking a long ass shower and just thinking helps. watching the show i’m writing for inspires me when i’m stuck on stuff like dialogue or characterization. but sometimes, all i can do is sit down and pound something out, sod how good it is. that works best i find when i’m really in a funk, because at least then when i come back to it, i’ll have something to work off of.

thanks so much for asking me!! it’s really nice of you <33 i hope i answered your questions well enough and i wasn’t too verbose lmfao

[fictional-love-is-my-life]

You know who we do not have enough of? Blackout. We need some of the big boy. I propose this challenge: mayhaps some headcannons of what it’s like being Blackout’s S/O? Cybertronian preferably but if you want to do human too that’s fine. Like does he let them in the cargo bay if his alt. Mode if they fit? Is he a gentle giant? Is he a big teddy bear? Does he hid it or is he open and proud like “this one is mine. All the rest of you can scram!” If it’s too hard feel free to just say “yeah too much of a challenge, sorry” (I’m not trying to be taunting, I just want to let you know your safe to verbally say you can’t do that)

Challenge accepted and extended (I did both)

Cybertronian S/O:

Blackout was not looking for love. He was not opposed to the idea; it just wasn’t a priority. He had heard of bots getting together despite the war. He just had no time for it, he was far too busy following Megatron’s orders.

Meeting his S/O was pure luck. And Blackout is pretty sure Primus had something to do with it. His S/O appeared, and suddenly he found he had time for love. It was not quick. It took him a while to grow feelings, but when he did, he fell hard.

Blackout is incredibly loyal to Megatron, so much so that it strained the relationship for a while. Blackout would drop everything and abandon his S/O if Megatron asked him to do something. He didn’t want to. He wanted to spend all of his time with his S/O and he missed them greatly when he left. If he could he would have taken his S/O with him, but Megatron wanted him to fly solo missions. His S/O spoke to him about it, saying if they continue to not spend time with them, they may as well not be together. Blackout did not want that to happen. As much as he was devoted to Megatron, he adored his S/O and wanted them in his life. After the war, he wanted to enjoy their new lives together. He drew back slightly from his duties. He would still do a lot of work for Megatron. But Blackout also made sure to take enough time to be with his S/O.

If he is away, he will make regular comm calls to his S/O. He won’t if he has to be stealthy, and he usually focuses on getting the mission done to get home to them quicker. But he also likes to check-in and keep them in contact, letting them know he is thinking of them and trying to get back to them.

In regards to letting people know. He’ll tell others of his relationship status, so they are aware. Then not really bring it up again. He doesn’t think everyone needs to know about his life or dating habits. He likes to keep it private. He also likes to keep his S/O and all information about them to himself. He doesn’t want others to get to know his S/O or really have much to do with them. He trusts his S/O, but not the other Decepticons.

He is fine with expressing and giving a small amount of affection in public. If he needs to disappear on a mission, he will kiss his S/O and tell them he loves them before leaving. Even if there is someone watching. They are grown mechs, then can understand that bots love each other. Although he does not go overboard, he feels like more attention and affection should be left to their alone time.

He is not a big gift giver. His way of showing love is spending quality time with his S/O. Since he spends so much time away busy with missions, for him to make time for his S/O shows he really cares. He also shows love through affection.

He’s not sappy. He doesn’t delve into his emotions and say long speeches of love. And he doesn’t do much cutesy touches. He isn’t into hand holding. But he likes hugs, and he likes having his S/O lay on him, while he wraps his arms around them. He likes being tight and close together.

Human S/O:

Out of all the creatures of the universe, he was not expecting to fall in love with a human. Yet it happened. For a long time, he was in denial. He took them in, under the pretenses they would be a useful source of information. But he kept them hidden away from the other Decepticons for fear they would get hurt.

It took a long time for him to come to terms with his feelings. But eventually he admitted it and took it in stride. If someone asked about it, he would say. “Yes, do you have a problem with it?” With his record, no one stepped up with a problem. The others just left him to it.

Since they are so small, he is able to carry them around wherever he goes. Which means they can go on every mission with him and he can spend all his time with them. He doesn’t give them much of a choice, just states they are going to stay with him and he will protect them.

When he flies, they sit in his cockpit. When he transforms, he switches from carrying them in his servo and carrying them on his shoulder.

He likes closeness, so he rarely lets them go or sets them down. He wants them with him at all times and the best way to do that is to keep carrying them.

He won’t let any harm come to them. Even if a Decepticon says something jokingly about them getting hurt, Blackout takes it seriously and will beat on the con. Teaching them a lesson to never threaten his S/O even if joking.

Most of the time, when his S/O has to sleep, he will transform and let them rest inside of him so they are protected from the elements. Occasionally if he feels in the mood for a closer connection, he will hold them to his chest while the sleep.

He likes to pet his S/O, they are soft and pleasant to touch. And he knows humans like touch as a means for affection, so he will oblige to keep his S/O happy. Pets include, rubbing their back, gently squishing them between his digits as a makeshift hug. Brushing their hair. He will allow them to kiss his face, he likes the sensation of their soft warm lips on him.