#I’m sad he’s a little ray of sunshine we would go so well together

[throwmethroughawindow]

happy to share my horny Ace thoughts w you guys🙏🏽 I am no better than a man when it comes to him, im so sorry I’m not.

He’s just so….

And I’m just so

I need to be sprayed with water or his cum, I haven’t decided which😩😩🤭

[auras-moonstone]

Hii! Could you please write an ethan fic based off the ybwm music video but y/n and ethan are childhood bestfriends and but doesnt notice her until prom? ALSO IM LISTENING TO 1989 TV RN AND ITS SOOOO GOOD

been here all along — ethan landry

word count: 3,306

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: ethan and y/n had been best friends since they were little, but y/n, unbeknownst to ethan, has always been i love with him. it isn’t until prom night that he finds out.

warnings: none!

Y/N WAS STUDYING ON HER DESK WHEN SHE SAW HER BEST FRIEND’S SILHOUETTE THROUGH HER WINDOW. Ethan threw himself to the bed, lying on his back as he tiredly rubbed his face with the hand that wasn’t holding his phone to his ear. He felt eyes on him, so he turned around and saw the girl staring at him with a worried expression. He smiled instantly and, after hanging up the phone, he went to grab a small board and a marker.

hey, creep, he showed her the careless handwriting with a smirk.

Y/N stuck her tongue out before grabbing her own board. you okay?

i’m fine, he replied with a shrug and a forced smile.

Y/N arched an eyebrow, i know you better than that.

His shoulders slumped, can i hang out with you for a while?

always. back door is open!

Less than five minutes later Ethan entered her room and plopped down on her bed, resting his head on his hand. Y/N noticed his eyes were a bit red and had dark bags under them, and yet he continued to be he most gorgeous human she had laid her eyes on.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, resisting the need to run her fingers through his wet brown hair.

“Coach killed us at practice today. My whole body hurts.” he mumbled.

“And…” she urged him to go on, knowing that was not it.

Ethan sighed. “I hate that you know me so well.” he groaned. “I fought with Mila.”

“Again.” she added, trying to hide her bitterness.

Mila and him had been dating for a couple of months, and she had managed to turn the ray of sunshine that Ethan used to be into a person who was always tired and in a gloomy mood. She had completely brought him down.

People at school loved the couple. And, on the outside, they seemed perfect. Ethan was the captain of the hockey team and the most good-looking boy at school, and Mila was the cheer captain and most good-looking girl at school—perfect pairing, right? On paper, yes.

But Y/N had the disgrace of witnessing most of their fights and the toxicity that filled the air whenever they were together. At the beginning, they had a normal relationship but eventually, the attention got the best of Mila and she turned into a controlling, jealous girlfriend who was also obsessed with painting the perfect image.

“Yeah… this time it was about prom.” he scoffed.

“What about it?”

“She came to practice and said we had to go buy her dress and my suit. Then she wants me to take fucking dancing classes because everything needs to be perfect and I can’t mess it up with my dance moves.”

“She’s going to have to buy tons of oil bottles for that. The Tin Man from Wizards of Oz can move better than you.”

Ethan laughed and threw her a pillow. “You’re such an asshole.”

Y/N smiled like the Cheshire cat. Ethan had no idea that his smile could practically light up the whole town, and it made her furious that Mila managed to take that away. Ever since they started dating, Ethan very rarely smiled around others.

“Anyways, the thing is I refused to do that. You know how tired I am after practice, and she got pissed and wouldn’t let me leave. I ended up holding back hockey practice and coach was furious.” he explained. “Then, after practice, she called and silly me thought—nice, she is going to apologize, but no. She wanted to see if I’d changed my mind. And that made me mad, so we started fighting about her interrupting practice and how furious she would be if I were to find her during cheer practice. Then she started yelling and I just hung up because my head fucking hurts.”

Y/N watched with sad eyes. What was he doing with a girl like that? She clearly didn’t care about him. “I’m sorry about your psycho of a girlfriend. You deserve better” she said, and he gave her a small smile. “There’s Tylenol on my drawer and the bottle is filled with water.”

“Thanks. You’re the best, did you know that? Being with you is lately the only thing that makes me feel at peace.”

“I love you, Eth, and I’ll always be here.”

The boy grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly. “I love you, too.” he placed a kiss on the crown of her head. “Can I stay over?”

“Of course.”

Ethan fell asleep quickly, contrary to Y/N, whose thoughts kept her brain working like crazy. Ethan’s sweet words about her making him feel at peace should be heartwarming, but instead it made her heart hurt. Why couldn’t he see her the way she saw him? The way he saw Mila. Why couldn’t Ethan see that she was dying to be in Mila’s place and that he deserved so much better than her?

Ethan deserved to be with someone who treated him like he hung the moon, and instead he was settling for someone who overwhelmed him and brought him down, someone who cared more about what other people said than about his feelings and happiness. It made Y/N both sad and angry, and she prayed he would wake up and see he was worth more.

ETHAN ENTERED HIS ROOM AND DRAGGED HIS FEET TOWARDS HIS BED. He wanted to take a long nap and disconnect from the world, ignoring all the things that were overwhelming him lately. He wanted those feelings to be gone, he needed a good sleep and a good cry. And as if God had heard his prayers, the problems evaporated once his eyes caught sight of his best friend dancing around her room without a care in the world. He crossed his arms and watched with a smile, waiting for her to notice.

The girl stopped as soon as she felt eyes on her. Frowning, she quickly scribbled something on her blackboard.

i don’t do shows for free, quit looking

Laughing, he wrote back, what kind of shows do you do? i’m interested.

Y/N pretended to throw up and replied, i’m calling 911 pervert. And as he shook his head, she quickly wrote something else. you look stressed. wanna talk about it?

And as every afternoon, Ethan ended up sprawled on his best friend’s bed with her lying beside him. “First of all, I broke up with Mila.” he started, and Y/N’s heart stopped.

She tried her best not to smile at that, and managed to mutter “I’m sorry about that.”

Ethan shrugged, “It’s fine. We both know we weren’t really invested in that relationship. I’m stressed because she was furious, screaming something about ruining her chances of being prom queen and disappointing the school by our break-up.”

“And you feel bad about it.” Y/N stated, knowing him like the back of her hand.

“A little bit. I mean, I don’t get it, but prom is important to her for some reason. And now she needs to find another date.”

“That won’t be a problem, though. She’s literally the most gorgeous girl in school.”

“She’s not the most gorgeous girl in school.” he said, but quickly shook his head and moved on. “But it’s us who they want. Ethan and Mila, not Mila and some other guy.”

“Well, if it makes you feel so bad, you should go with her.” Y/N said out loud as her inner voice called her stupid in different languages.

Ethan frowned. “I don’t want to get back with her. And I thought you hated her.”

“I don’t hate her.” she argued.

“I heard you said you’d like her to recreate Regina George’s bus scene.” Ethan said, trying not to laugh at the guilty face she made.

“Look, everyone has intrusive thoughts.” she defended herself and Ethan bursted out laughing. “I’m not proud of it. But, moving on, I’m not telling you to get back with her, but just be her date to prom and then go your separate ways. We’re leaving for college soon, anyways.”

“I suppose you’re right.” he nodded. “That’s another reason why I’m stressed, college.”

“What about it?”

“I’m scared.” he confessed

“Why? Eth, you’re an stellar player. Lots of colleges already told you they’re interested.”

“I’m not scared of not getting into any college. I’m scared that we won’t end up in the same one.” he explained. And his eyes got glossy by just thinking about Y/N not being part of his every day life.

They had known each other since forever. They grew up together and it was in his plans to continue to grow alongside her. She was his person, and he knew he was her person too. She was his other half, he wasn’t complete without her. He rolled his eyes everytime he heard someone say that ‘we are our own person and it was wrong to believe someone complemented you’. He thought that was bullshit. Him and Y/N complemented each other and their lives wouldn’t be the same if they didn’t have each other. A part of them would be missing.

“I’m positive we will both end up on the same college. But even if that doesn’t happen, there’s absolutely no way that will be the end of our friendship, Eth. Come on, you really think our bond is not strong enough to handle a little distance?”

“You’re right.” he said, wiping his tears with the heel of his palm. “It still would suck not to have you there to annoy me every minute of the day.”

“Fuck you, Ethan.” she pinched his side, making him squirm. “And bold of you to assume I wouldn’t call you and text every one second.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you.” he hugged her tightly to his chest, breathing in the scent of her shampoo.

“Love you, too.” she whispered. She wanted to kiss him so badly she had to hide her face on his chest to die down the temptation.

“Hey, I never asked you. Who are you going to prom with?”

“With no one.”

Ethan frowned. “I can’t have that. We are going together.”

Her heart started beating faster. “You’re going with Mila.”

“I haven’t told her we can still go together. And I’m not going to, we are going together.”

“No.” she shook her head. The inner voices screaming at her again. “It’s important to her. I really couldn’t care less about prom. Don’t worry about it.”

“All of your friends have dates, Y/N/N. I know you don’t care about prom, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a good time.” Ethan said, and she shrugged. “I don’t understand, though. I heard, unfortunately, the guys talking in the locker room. A lot of them were planning to ask you.”

“And they did, I just said I was going alone.”

“But why?”

Because I don’t want anyone but you, and I just turned your offer down. “I just don’t want to. Really, don’t worry about me. I don’t like parties anyway, so I won’t stay long. You will have to dance with me at least once, though.”

“Obviously.” he replied softly as he run his fingers through her soft hair until he fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Y/N laid wide awake, picturing that moment. Him, looking like a daydream in a suit, with his big hands around her body and her head on his hard chest, listening to the beat of his heart, which clearly won’t be beating as fast as hers. Yes, she didn’t know how she was going to survive that.

ETHAN STOOD NEXT TO MILA AS THEY TALKED WITH THEIR FRIENDS. Well, Mila did the talking and he was just standing there, looking anxiously at the entrance door, waiting for his best friend to arrive. Ethan had offered to drive her, but she instantly turned him down because there’s no way she was going to share the confined space with Mila.

“Your break-up lasted less than I expected.” one of Mila’s friend said.

Sensing Mila’s intention of not denying the statement, Ethan spoke first. “We aren’t together, we came as friends.”

“We’re always breaking up and making up, we both know you’ll take me back in no time.” Mila laughed.

“Mila.” he sighed. “We talked about this. I told you that we can still be each other’s date, but as long as it was clear that we are over for real. Don’t make me regret it.”

“Wow.” Zach, Ethan’s friend, said. His eyes were wide and his jaw was practically on the floor. And following his gaze, he found out the reason behind his reaction.

Ethan’s body stiffened and felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. Y/N walked through the gym, making her way towards her friends. No one, expect for his group, was paying attention to her. Why was no one paying attention to her?

She looked absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking would be most accurate word, because she took Ethan’s ability to breath as soon as his eyes landed on her figure. She was wearing a long, satin green dress. Her hair was up in a tidy bun, making her look elegant. Fuck, he couldn’t get his eyes off her, nor did he want to.

“Green is not her color.” Mila said between gritted teeth.

Ethan frowned, but his brown eyes were still glued to the girl across the room. “Every color is her color.”

“I’m going to ask her to dance with me.” Zach said confidently.

“Dude, get a hint. She told you she didn’t want to come with you.” another of Ethan’s friend said.

With that, Ethan finally looked away and instead glared at his friend. “You asked her?”

“Well, yeah. Can you blame me?” No, he couldn’t. But still, for some reason, it bothered him. “I can’t believe she said no.”

“Oh, come on. It’s obvious she was going to reject every offer. Well, anyone but one.” Mila said, and the boys’ curious glances landed on her. “What?”

“What are you talking about?” Zach asked.

Mila rolled her eyes. “Really? Literally everyone figured it out”

“Figure out what?” Ethan asked impatiently.

“She’s been in love with the same person for years.”

Ethan’s fists clenched and he felt like his whole body was on fire. “No way, she would’ve told me. We tell each other everything.”

Mila laughed. “It’s you, dumbass. She’s always been in love with you.”

Ethan froze and shook his head. “No. I would’ve- she should’ve… No.”

“Yes, Ethan. Ask anyone. I swear boys are so oblivious” she rolled her eyes. “It’s obvious she didn’t tell you because she knew you’d reject her. I mean, she is out of your league and you’ve never given her any signs that you might feel the same.”

Well, in that she’s right. But only because he had never let his mind wonder about being more because he didn’t want to ruin anything. Besides, he hadn’t seen her signs either and he also started dating Mila. But now… he could see them together. Now he couldn’t understand how he hadn’t thought about it before. After all, Y/N had always been his person—the one that understood him unlike anyone else, the one that made him laugh harder than anyone else, the one he always wanted to have by his side, the one who he belong with.

“She’s not out of my league.” he said, glaring at Mila. “I’m the one out of her league, hell, I don’t think anyone is really deserving of her! You know, she was the one that suggested I still should bring you here, because it was important to you. I asked her to be my date, and she said no. Even though she probably wanted to say yes. She’s that amazing, and I never saw her. What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Before anyone could say anything, Ethan let his feet guide him towards her. Y/N saw his silhouette making his way to her and her mouth broke into a smile. He did look like a daydream and the smile she loved was present on his face, shinier than ever.

"Hi, Eth." she stood up to hug him.

How could he have been so blind to notice it? The way her cheeks turned a light shade of red, her shy smile and the sparks in her eyes. Y/N was in love with him. "Hi. You look... like a daydream."

That made her blush even more. "Thank you. You look very handsome." Ethan smiled like a little kid, which made Y/N laugh. "What is going on? You're acting odd."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know, you're looking different."

"Is that bad?" Ethan frowned.

"No, it's a good different. You look happy. But what is happening?" she laughed with uncertainty. Ethan shook his head, trying to wipe the smile off his face. "Come on, you're making me nervous."

my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in

"First we have to dance to your favorite song." Ethan said, grabbing her hand and guiding her to the dance floor.

Just like she had it pictured it in her mind, her best friend's arms were wrapped around her waist, her hands resting on his broad shoulders and her head lying on his chest. But, contrary to what she had thought, his heart was beating inexplicably fast.

i don't wanna look at anything else now that i saw you

"I love you, Y/N" Ethan whispered in her ear. He felt her shoulders tense and she slowly raised her head to look at him.

It wasn't like any other previous I love you's, there was something about the way he said it—so softly and vulnerable—that gave her the hope that there was another meaning, that it was another type of i love you.

"Ethan..."

been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

"I do. I really do love you. I am in love with you, and I'm really sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

and now i see daylight, i only see daylight

"For not realizing it earlier. For not seeing how you really felt."

Y/N widened her eyes. He knew. "Ethan... don't."

"Don't what?"

"You're confused. You don't love me like that, I don't want your sympathy. You just think you love me because you don't want to reject me." she said. He opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off. "I promise you that our friendship won't change. I've always known it wasn't reciprocated, and I've come in terms with it."

Ethan just smiled. "Are you done overthinking? Because you have two options—you can keep on trying to convince yourself I don't love you and that my heart hasn't been skipping since you walked into this room," he put her hand on his heart. "or you can accept the truth—that I love you and I want you more than anything in the world—and let me kiss you while your song is still playing." he tilted his head down, nose brushing hers. "What is it, Y/N? One or two?"

"Two" she whispered.

He smirked "Good girl."

The kiss stopped time. When they finally pulled away, they stared at each other completely awestruck. Taylor Swift wasn't playing anymore, and they truly didn't have a clue how much time they had spent tasting each other. What they did know is that nothing had ever felt more right.

"Okay, enough show. Let's get out of here, I want you all to myself." he said pressing kisses to her neck.

"I want ice cream first, then we can make out."

"Whatever my girlfriend wants, she gets." with one last kiss, they walked out of the room hand in hand. “By the way, I have always thought you were the most gorgeous girl in school.”

[apparentlytheproblem]

Hi! I love your writing and I’ve been literally binging through all the fics! I was kinda hoping for a fluff / angsty fred fic 👀

So we all know our beloved Fred dies and I’m kinda wanting to have a fic around that. It starts very warm and calm with possible memories before the war and how happy the two were waiting to get married, start a family etc. maybe a little moment in the morning of their house together waking up and it’s just stolen kisses and happiness 😩

Until the war begins and they both want to fight in it, very bittersweet moment of goodbye between them while Fred tells reader to be safe and how it’ll come back on both of them. During the war we know Fred gets killed and how it could be the reader protects a younger person during the war and that’s how they are killed too. The Weasley family not knowing they were dead until they saw her being placed down on a stretcher beside Fred. It’s just SAD and ya know ANGST. Anyway could be the two of them reuniting in the afterlife Idc!

But if this is too much don’t stress you’re amazing 😩

b i t t e r s w e e t

fandom- Harry Potter

pairing(s)- fred weasley

a/n: ahh i'm so happy you've been enjoying my writting, that makes my day. this brought back plenty of unhappy memories of a ten year old reading it for the first time, but what this really remiend's me of this is the line, "it's been a long day my friend, i'll tell you all about it when i see you again". i hope you don't mind as i hav'nt really written a proper fic on this and i'm willing to try again to reach your expectations, i wish this enlightens your day, and makes you smile a little brighter with love, tiya

requested- yes

warnings- unexperienced writer, not thoroughly edited

the five times fred weasley was effortlessley in love

sometimes being the funniest person in the room was tiring, but being the most handsome, charming and the funniest was just absolutely exhausting. Fred was the type to always brighten the mood. he was the vibe, but sometimes its difficult to always light the room and be that positive ray of sunshine all the time, for it did take effort but he'd give it his all. But when it came to you? it felt so effortless.

(1) on his knees

Fred Weasley has never gotten on his knees for anyone, he'd never belittle himself to begging and he would certainly never find himself in a position where he would have to bend down. and for a girl? pfft

but he did, oh he did, he did, he did.

he found himself on his knees tying you laces with so much adoration. and a thought went across his mind.

is being this in love even real?

(2) oh for a hello

mind you, you were minding your business and making your way to the next class when the hem of your skirt was pulled, spinning you to the proximity of Fred Weasley's handsome face. you were cornered to a wall with him leaning in as if he owned the world.

"hello"

(3) privellages

Fred was going of about god knows what and he was being quite annoying. he was upset about you doing some reckless things as if he did not partake in any such activities.

"Freddie". that had shut him up so well ah.

"can i call you that?" you pestered on, watching him immitate a fish. he turned himslef around and started smiling in hopes you wouldn't notice how flustered he's gotten. it was astounding how effortlesley happy you would make him and it drove him crazy.

"hmm"

imma marry this girl

(4) that not so little sensation

Weasley had somehow gotten into your dorm, and to be honest you didn't bother to wonder how. Beacause, when he had a will, he'd find a way, and if he could not find a way? he would pave with his own hands.

he springled and peppered your face with kisses and had his arm tightly around you as if you'd disapear if he let go.

what was that sensation he felt everytime he saw her smile and laugh? it was him being effortlesley in love

(5) die for you

it says you see what you have loved the most in your last, and he was happy it was them, cause its always been them. He felt all the stress, the anxiety and the worry leave him, it was just her, and who could be stressed after seeing that face. it was like a sponge absorbing anything and everything that made you worry.

it's been a long day, he'd tell her all about it when he saw her again

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper Season 2 play-by-play analysis

I’ve already written all these thoughts during the last rewatch, but since I’m rewatching again to figure out which gifs I want to look for, I always end up rereading or rewriting something, adding more thoughts, etc. There’s always something to add, something new that I noticed. The next few rewatches will be all about the music, probably.

EPISODE 2 - FAMILY

- “LION FISH VERY TOXIC THEY HAVE STINGERS THAT ARE DEADLY TO THE TOUCH” “THERE ARE MANY TYPES OF FISH. HERE ARE A VARIETY OF FISH” “THAT LIVE IN THE SEA. I LOOKED UP PICTURES OF FISH ONLINE FOR THIS PAGE” “UNICORN FISH TYPES OF DEEPSEA FISH” I died reading Tao’s drawing notes.

- Why does Mr Farouk always look like he’s about to either give the scolding of a lifetime or give terrible news???? Even when he’s saying nice things. I love him, though.

- Isaac looking down at his book as he gets told to participate more.

- IS THAT DAVID THACKERAY telling Ben’s parents that Ben is wonderful? Poor thing.

- If we get Spanish-speaking Charlie at some point, I will cry.

- “I know getting your first boyfriend is very exciting, but…” Charlie’s parents will never know about Ben. The only ones who know are Nick and (somewhat) Tori, and that’s how it will stay. Was it Charlie’s first boyfriend? Technically, maybe, but in all the ways that matter, Nick is the true first, Nick has changed the game for Charlie forever. He shouted it at the sea and everything.

- Here we have the first time that Jane takes a very extreme approach, but of course she doesn’t know that Charlie has bigger problems than being distracted by his new boyfriend. Jane’s approach is complete ban, complete cut off, no in between.

- Olivia Colman, in yellow, like the ray of sunshine she is. But how Sara managed to raise someone as shit as David, when she’s so wonderful and Nick turned out so wonderful, is beyond me.

- The actor who plays David is so good, you just want to punch him.

- “the universe is pulling us apart” “we are tragic starcrossed lovers” “we should run away to paris together” “bring nellie though” “of course”… two dumbasses in love.

- Ugh, Ben seeing Nick approaching so he pulls Imogen closer and kisses her because he knows it’ll piss Nick off… And Imogen being so oblivious that she thinks nothing of Nick’s frown and not waving back. She does look a bit sad that he doesn’t. And Ben looking so smug.

- New favorite character unlocked: Sahar. We love her. I didn’t really get much personality from her in the comics, but here it’s much more fleshed out.

- “Still as desperate as ever”, excuse me? Who’s the true desperate one here? Ben gets this wistful, googly-eyed look every time Charlie appears and looks equally as murderous at Nick every time he sees them together. None ya business, Ben.

- Nick seriously telling Ben not to talk about Charlie, because that’s as much as he can do, or ignore him, but Ben won’t let it go, like he’s not even a little bit afraid of the boy that could snap him like a twig.

- “It’s not my fault he liked me before you”. EXCUSE ME, for one thing, what does that have to do with anything??? And for another thing, you really think that Charlie liked you? I don’t think Ben realizes how much Charlie’s crush on Ben was just that, a crush, but actually liking him would have probably made it harder for Charlie to break things off, and it wasn’t… I think Charlie authentically had a crush on Ben, because he’s handsome and because he took an interest in him, and because there was no one else. But liking him? Nah, that was just wishful thinking.

- “I hate you because you literally assaulted him”. YES NICK, TELL HIM.

- “I was going through personal stuff”. Everyone is always going through personal stuff, you dick. But you chose to “take it out” on Charlie.

- “You hurt him and who knows if you’ll do the same with Imogen.” Sweet Nick. “Do you even like her?”

- “Sorry, am I not allowed to like girls as well as boys?” This might be the first time that he’s been this honest with someone over whom he doesn’t have any control whatsoever. Also Nick’s face when he realizes that him and Ben are both bi, or at least that’s what Ben is telling him. And it reinforces the fear that Nick’s had since last season, that he’s just like Ben.

- “I’ll believe that when I see it.” Ben also thinks that being queer means having to tell the world, otherwise it’s not real.

- Ben saying that Charlie thinks that Nick is perfect, like… sir, you do not speak for Charlie, and you do not know Nick, and you are just trying to make yourself not look as bad, and convince yourself that you could just be as good a boyfriend to Charlie as Nick is, and why don’t you just go to therapy, SIR??? But Nick for a moment looks like he believes him, because it’s been hard for him to come out, he’s only managed to come out himself to two people, his mum and Imogen, and he knows it’s hard, and maybe Ben is right, maybe he’s just like him, maybe he’ll hurt Charlie too by keeping their relationship a secret… Him stroking the pen that Charlie gave him.

- “I’ve had the worst day haha” aw baby, the haha just makes it worse.

- I just realized how much I relate to Nick’s relationship with his brother. Not that my sister was ever as bad as a David, but I wish she had been more of a Tori… Being the youngest and having to deal with an invasive older sibling who just waltzes into your room and looks at your stuff and thinks they know you better than you know yourself… yeah… In retrospect it’s funny how siblings can be so unbearable to each other, and often it gets better when you don’t have to live together anymore, but it’s amazing how we can tick each other off, like no one else can… they did such a good job at capturing that dynamic…

-“If you do have a girlfriend, I want to know about it, she needs my approval”, sir fuck all the way off back to uni, please.

- “We could meet at the park”, and then they meet there and it’s so obvious that their homes used to be their safe places, but now, now they know that it’s each other, they’re each other’s safe place. Recharging!

- Listen, that hug, that spin hug, with the music playing, the joy on their faces as they realize that home is wherever the other one is, it’s just soooooo… it rewired my brain, it was like a deep breath, it’s the epitome of all NickxCharlie hugs. It’s one of my favorite scenes, if not the most favorite.

- I love how we got to see the beginning of Charlie’s serial hoodie thievery. This whole scene is so soft. And Nellie just makes everything ten times better.

- Nick leaning in for a kiss in an open space, and Charlie looking around nervously, because last season Nick was flinching with nerves at the idea of anyone, even strangers, seeing them kiss, and Nick knows this and he has moved past that and he pulls Charlie on top of him and just kisses him like crazy… seriously the amount of kissing this season is magical… And Charlie feeling euphoric as he walks home and sees Nick’s instagram post about him…

- Elle’s new friends are as stylish as her… Naomi’s eyeliner is perfect…

- I love that we get a little more insight into Elle’s experience, and why she wants to pursue art, and why Lambert would be a safe haven for her…

- Tao’s mum being the biggest fan of Elle and being the biggest TaoElle shipper… I’m glad we got a bit more of her, and other parents. Elle’s parents were excellent too (more on them later).

- Nick gathering up the courage to confront Imogen about Ben, because he wants to protect her, but not being able to tell her why, and Imogen getting defensive because she’s just afraid of being alone. And the whole thing affecting Nick and causing him such anxiety that he can’t really focus.

- The big hug and lift, priceless move. (I've lost count of all the times that Nick gives into his urge of picking Charlie up in any way he can).

- “That boy of yours is here”. Elle’s mum being a bit of a TaoElle shipper too. Elle trying to put distance between them.

- Charlie not being a fan of Marvel movies, whilst Joe Locke is starring soon in a Marvel streaming show… poetic. Methinks that, when the time comes for Nick to watch Agatha Coven of Darkness, he’ll have a massive crush on that actor who plays (presumably) Billy.

- “I’ll have something when I get home”, and then when he gets home “I ate at Nick’s.”

- Fucking David, snooping around, disrespecting Nick’s privacy. And Nick’s little “you okay?” at Charlie. David is such a perfect asshole, and I love Nick calling him a homophobic prick, but not being intimidated or anything. “You left a picture of you two kissing on your bedroom wall” “WHY DO YOU KEEP GOING IN MY ROOM?” Yes, David, why?

-Some people pointed out that Nick seems to unfairly take it out on his mum, when it was David, a grown man, sneaking in as he pleases, but I didn't see it that way. Nick's yelling at David, but looking at him mum, or looking to her for support, like going "do you see what he's done??? do you see what a dick your other son is???? please tell him to stop!!"

- Nick telling Charlie that it’s not his fault, and telling him that he’s fine and he doesn’t care, but Charlie had really thought he’d be able to protect Nick from the things that happened to him when he came out.

- Tao’s talk with his mum, it was so sweet.

- Charlie and Isaac being so serious, but also not arguing when Tao said “I know you’ve been laughing behind my back because I’m so oblivious”. And him asking for their help.

This episode was brought to you by HOODIES™.

[celice-13]

Cycle

Tw: Writing about social axiety, trust and abandonment issues

September 2

I met new friends online recently. It happened just like that, on a random social media. You probably think it’s stupid, that it won’t last more than a month. Yet it’s been forever since I’ve been so happy. For once, I want to believe it’s real. Not that you care anyway. I won’t even bother presenting them to you. I’ll just leave you in peace, since that’s what you’ve obviously always wanted. I don’t need you anymore anyway.

Kind regards,

The sock you threw away

September 3

I told you yesterday I wouldn’t tell you about my new friend group. You know what? I lied. I guess I just really want to talk about them. So, here goes.

First, there’s Malicia. She’s very kind, and caring. She’s always the first one to ask “how are you” and to notice if something’s off. She loves drawing animals, so she often goes on walks in the forest to practice on those she sees. She’s very good at it.

Then, there’s Theo. He’s very funny. He sends a lot of good memes on random topics, and always knows how to make people laugh, even when they’re feeling down. He loves cartoons. Apparently his parents are constantly looking down on him because of that, but he doesn’t care. I admire that a bit, to be honest.

Finally, there’s Ray. Just like their name implies, they’re a true ray of sunshine. They always use a lot of emotes in their messages, and show a lot of interest in what we say or experience. They love singing and even write their own songs from time to time. It’s nice to have someone who shares my love for writing, if only a little bit.

Maybe you think it’s creepy to know so much about people I’ve only just met. And I’ve not even told you a quarter of what I know. I’m just really eager to know as much about them as possible, so I can be a good friend. Unlike you.

Kind regards,

The book you never finished

September 7

Yesterday Malicia asked if we wanted to play Uno online with her. I couldn’t come, and they all seemed sad about it. And yet they still spent a great time together, without me. I should be happy for them, right? Yeah, I should. So why does it feel like they don’t actually need me? I hate when I think like that. And it’s all because of you.

Kind regards,

The song you stopped listening to

September 20

I messed up. Theo asked about our opinion on his favorite character from a cartoon, and I said something dumb in response. He seemed really upset that I didn’t understand his favorite character right. It made me so sad I almost felt like crying. Of course, I didn’t. Seems like you took my ability to cry away with you when you left. The other day I talked about wanting to know my friends as much as possible, but in the end it looks like it doesn’t prevent me from being a terrible friend. Why am I like this?

Kind regards,

The pen you lent and never asked back

October 3

Alright, that’s enough complaining. In case you haven’t noticed - wait, who am I kidding? Of course you didn’t - I haven’t talked to you these past few days. That’s because everything’s going well. I really got worried over nothing. Sure, Theo was a bit upset at the moment, but he didn’t mean to make me feel bad. He’s just that passionate about his interests. And a week ago Malicia offered to play Uno again, and this time I was able to join. We laughed so much the neighbors knocked on the wall to tell me to shut up (I didn’t). 

I guess I really have a tendency to freak out about the smallest things. But it’s fine. Now that I’m aware of it, I’ll be more careful. I won’t lose my friends again.

Kind regards,

The old phone you discarded for the newest one

October 25

I guess I’m a big liar, huh? Being aware of my problems won’t solve them. Who was I kidding? I was away for one day and no one noticed. Of course, there were other times where I wouldn’t reply for that long because I was busy doing something else, and would get angry at anyone who’d disturb me. They probably thought I was too busy to talk again. So why does it feel so different? Why does it feel like my absence doesn’t change anything? 

Sometimes I dream of disappearing for a few days, and coming back to see who noticed. But I’d be too scared to discover no one cared.

Kind regards,

The old toy you got tired of

November 6

Why can’t I be normal about friendship? Why do I always have to doubt everything? Why does the smallest message seem to imply “we don’t actually need you here, you’re not important”? I hate thinking like that, but I can’t help it. I hope you’re proud of what you’ve done, because this is all your fault.

Kind regards,

The ripped-up plush abandoned in the corner

November 15

Malicia asked me if I was doing alright. I once said she was very attentive, and yet she’s never asked before. I guess that’s because she only cares about her true friends. So I lied, and said I was alright even though each message exchanged with them feels more and more like I’m forcing myself to be someone I’m not. After all, if they already don’t care much about the happy, I’m sure to be left behind if they ever meet the fucked-up me. Isn’t that what you did anyway? I guess I’ll never know. You didn’t even bother to tell me. 

Kind regards,

The broken glass waiting to be dumped

November 24

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts It 

IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS IT HURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS ITHURTS 

ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS

I hate you.

December 1

I couldn’t talk. It’s a strange feeling, not being able to talk anymore. There are so many words stuck in your throats, so many that want to come out that they get stuck. You can’t say anything, you can’t write anything. My friends probably thought I was just being rude and ignoring them. We’re drifting apart, I can feel it. I don’t feel included in their conversation anymore, because there are less and less days where I can talk normally without feeling like I don’t deserve to be part of their group. At this point I’m just a number in the group’s stats.

Maybe I should leave. Wouldn’t that be for the best? You probably hoped I’d do that, and, when you realized I wouldn’t, you did it yourself. If I’d known, I’d have left first.

Kind regards,

The dry plant you forgot to water

December 3

I’m sorry. All this time I’ve been blaming you for my problems, but maybe I should finally admit it. It’s my fault. I was annoying, I was asking for too much attention. It became so overwhelming you had no other choice but to leave to protect yourself. You were the first person I truly felt close to, the first to truly listen to me. But I took advantage of your kindness and asked too much from you. Yeah, it really was my fault if you left in the end. So maybe it would hurt less if this time, I’m the one to leave.

Kind regards, 

I’m sorry

December 5

I left. I left my friend group. Well, I guess I shouldn’t call them friends anymore, should I? I lost that right now.

It’s funny how simple it was. Just one click, and it was all over. No more doubt. No more pretending, from me and from them. Now the only thing I have left is my loneliness. But it’s fine, I’ll get used to it. I have to.

People say human beings can’t stand loneliness. But what about those who aren’t meant for relationships of any kind? I’ve destroyed every friendship I’ve ever created. I poison them. Yes, poison. I like that word. I’m toxic. I look for new friends, I get invested hoping this time it will go better, and then I start being a hindrance until I drag the ones I’m supposed to love with me. And then I leave, and the cycle restarts. I’m toxic. And it all started with you. I won’t start blaming you again. As I said, it’s my fault you left. But ever since, I’m always destroying the new bonds I forge. 

So, yeah, I should probably just give up on friendship, and get used to loneliness. That way, I won’t destroy anyone again. About time I realized it, you’d say. And you’re right. I’ve caused enough damage already. It’s time to stop.

Kind regards, 

The friend you left behind

July 30

I met new friends online recently. It happened just like that, on a random social media. You probably think it’s stupid, that it won’t last more than a month. Yet it’s been forever since I’ve been so happy. For once, I want to believe it’s real. Not that you care anyway. I won’t even bother presenting them to you. I’ll just leave you in peace, since that’s what you’ve obviously always wanted. I don’t need you anymore anyway.

Kind regards,

The one who can’t forget you

[peachesandmilktea]

I actually think I already previously sent in an ask similar to this but just to be sure I’m requesting it again (so if you see something similar, just ignore - also, I’m so sorry for spamming..) 😊

Squid game au idea:

-Player Dabi x Reader - where Dabi is secretly a VIP participating in the game „just for fun“ (like the old man in the show). He grows a softspot for the reader and keeps her alive until the end where he planned on killing her lastly (ya know bc he’s a sadist and shit and doesn’t expect to develop feelings for her) but surprise he does (develop feelings that is) and as the final test he offers himself up to see if the reader would kill him willingly just to win the money/the game but she can’t bring herself to - she’s really distressed and has a mental breakdown and you know she’s just really not feeling very well at this point but Dabi ends the game by letting her live and comforts her (I know this is all very soft but we haven’t seen too much soft!Dabi yet and also, feel free to add your details to it) This can go a lot of ways but the main plotting would be VIP!Dabi disguised as a Player x Reader.

Squid Game AU - Infiltrated VIP Guest!Dabi x Player!Reader

Squid Game AU Masterlist.

Tw : Soft Yandere Dabi, Mentions of Violence and Murder (in the context of the game), Dabi is a VIP Guest who disguises himself as a Player and takes part in the game just for fun.

She was sweet. Kind. A little ray of sunshine, even when the blood of her friends coated her clothes, hands, face.

She'd wash the scarlet stains off with a sad smile on her lips, unshed tears gleaming in her pretty eyes after every single game, every single death. Their names would roll on her tongue in low murmurs, last tribute that she could pay them as their corpses were taken away to be burned or defiled in those pretty present boxes, and Dabi often wondered if she believed that soon she would join them.

Maybe, maybe not. It's not like he would allow it anyways.

No, Dabi had a plan for her. For the girl who’d insisted on sharing her tiny little sandwich when she saw him eye it hungrily. For the girl that took his hand before each game and promised they’d get out of this nightmare together, unsure of who she was trying to convince. For the girl that whispered good night in his ear each night before she’d curl up in fear in her own bed, not knowing that the man she naïvely decided to trust was putting her through hell for his own amusement.

It had been entertaining. She'd been entertaining.

Which was why her death was to be saved for last.

He'd rigged the game all along. Stolen a few marbles from her adversary to slip them into her pocket, pushed her towards that last number right before the glass bridge game, taken her on his team for the tug of war even though she was weak and frail next to him. All because he knew there was no way he could lose, not when he was a VIP, the very person to protect at all costs for the organizers of this deadly competition.

He was a King of this world, rich and powerful. A person that had everything except the excitement he desperately craved, that bathed himself in blood and gore with the hope that he’d find a sliver of amusement in the pain of others.

He wondered if he'd find such a thing in her suffering.

It’s just us two for the last game then,” she said, hands trembling as she took hold of the knife that had been presented to her during dinner. It looked too big for her clumsy hands, a deadly weapon not meant to be held by such gentle fingers.

“Are you scared?” He asked, voice low and deep. She glanced up at him and nodded slowly.

“I’m scared that only one of us will make it out of this. I’m scared that this wasn’t worth it after all.”

Her voice got softer with each word, tone regretful and pretty eyes now teary with guilt, with sorrow, with pain.

And then, quietly, almost a whisper.

"But I'm not scared of you," she said.

She should be, Dabi thought.

He was the monster from her worst nightmares, the wolf waiting for her to step outside the sheepfold. The man that would laugh as she fell, never to rise again. Never to watch him as she often did; as if she wondered how a man like him, made of sharp edges and cruel smiles, could end up holding the hand of the weakest little mouse before each bloodbath as if the contact could bring him comfort.

But there it was, the final game.

She would die, because he couldn’t lose, and there would be no winner. It wouldn’t be the first time for the violent competition and the ending didn’t matter. He’d had his fun, as had the other VIPs.

After all, what was she but another number in a crowd of nameless players, an unlucky girl who had led an unlucky life? Everything about her was pitiful, from her fearful nature to how she trusted so easily despite a lifetime of hurt at the hands of others. She’d told him about her past one night, spilling sad little tales with a gentle smile that never wavered, as if to tell him life is hard, but I’m okay.

She wouldn’t be kind in the end, he was sure. When presented with the chance to kill him and leave victorious, she’d choose the money. And if that was the last performance she gave before her hopes were destroyed with the reveal of his true identity, of how she’d been the pathetic victim of a deadly scam, then it was sure to be a great one. Maybe even the best prank he’d ever pulled on those dumbass players.

So, he’d play to the end. Pretend to lose hold of his knife so she could turn hers on him. Stumble and fall at her feet, make it so easy to slit his throat, despite knowing that she’d never be allowed to pierce his skin. He’d smirk at her, call her a dumb whore for thinking that she, a poor little girl that never has anything in life, could ever kill him when he held the world in the palm of his blood-soaked hands.

He’d have his entertainment then. In her pain, in her fear, in the betrayal of it all.

Except she gave up the game. At the very last second.

“Dabi, Dabi, get up,” she yelled, screamed, cried as he pretended to stumble, knife forgotten on the floor as she dropped to her knees beside him. She was cradling him with trembling fingers, holding him against her as if afraid he’d be lost forever otherwise.

She was so damn stupid.

“If you kill me, you win,” he reminded her. She wasn’t supposed to try and save him; she’d abandoned the lines he chose for her in this little play he’d crafted, the one where she’d try to attack him and he’d crush her heart under the sole of his boot. “I won’t call off the game, you have to do it.”

And then, there was the rage she hid inside her all long, coating her words in venom, burning through her veins as she grabbed his shirt, grip so tight it was turning her knuckles white.

“Are you stupid?” She screamed. “I won’t, I can’t, I’d never…”

She broke.

And as she held him in her arms, he felt her tears hit his face, drowning every cruel murderous thought that had been swirling through his mind since the game began.

“I’d rather die myself,” she breathed between two hurt, pained hiccups, and that was it.

He raised a hand to her cheek, wiping away the tears that trailed down the soft, flushed skin. Cradled her face in his palms, gentle despite the blood that often coated them.

“Hush, Princess, don’t cry. It’s over, you win.”

Because it was what she deserved, after all, and who was he to take it from her? Who was he to tear the sunshine from her heart, to kill the sparkles of kindness in her oh so beautiful eyes?

And who would he be if she couldn’t be his?

“No, I can’t win, you don’t understand, I can’t win,” she kept blabbering in panic, words falling from her lips fast and hard like raindrops in a storm. “You have to kill me, you have to, you have to!”

She didn’t even seem to notice that he sat up, that all of his injuries were fake, that he pulled her into his arms until she wailed into his chest. Dabi had never been kind, Dabi had never been gentle, but he tried his hardest as he softly stroked the shape of her spine in comforting movements, letting her wet the fabric of his shirt with her tears as long as she needed to.

“I’m not a player,” he whispered, lean fingers passing through her hair as her sobs died down. “You’re the last one alive. You win.”

And somehow, she froze at the reveal, as if the simple words I’m not a player were even scarier than the whole ordeal she’d been through, all because they bore a weight heavier even than the blood and gore he’d almost drowned her in.

They bore the weight of betrayal.

He kissed her forehead, softly, gently, uncharacteristic gestures for the monster of a man that he was, a single promise now rolling on his tongue.

“Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll take real good care of you from now on.”

———

Join my taglist?

Sorry I still made him a bit yandere, I was too into the dark squid game vibes 😭 I really liked exploring his POV though!!! The prompt was *chef’s kiss*, thank you so much!

And thank you @blueberrysam for the beta reading, you’re amazing!! ✨

Please tell me if you liked it ❤️

[silver-weasel]

Diving (Deku x Reader)

Pairing : Deku x fem!reader (aged-up characters)

Rating : E, 18+

Tags : smut • fem!reader (she/her) • best friends to lovers / childhood friends to lovers • quirkless AU • p*rn with feelings (like. a lot of them) • public sex (more or less) • switching • hair pulling? • pining • Deku being flustered and an absolute angel what’s new • Reader being a teasing brat • It’s all soft and fluffy, I’m as vanilla as you can get 🤷‍♀️ • Happy birthday to the bestest boyyy I love him so much it hurts

Word count : 10 600 (Holy sh—)

A/N : Thank you @hoe-doroki my beloved and savior for beta-ing <3

Written for @rat-zuki​’s collab in honor of our favorite birthday boy, The Deku Agenda Escapes no One. Thank you so much for letting me join! (go check out the other amazing writers and artists!)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

The ground grinds repeatedly under your hiking shoes, some pebbles being kicked forward on your way. You’re way too deep in the forest to hear any cars passing by and during the two hours you’ve been here you haven’t run into anyone. The place seems empty, the only souls breathing the forest’s thick air being you, Izuku and the birds chirping all around you.

The afternoon is coming to an end, the sun sinking down on its way to hide behind the mountains. The remains of its soft light are filtering through the dense leaves all around and above you. You’re surrounded by green, lush and immeasurable greenery, every plant merging into another.

You’ve left the marked paths, now wandering deep in the richest, boundless part of a forest you both know like the back of your hand after roaming it all over innumerable times. All over, except for this part, in which you’re setting foot for the first time today. Your many previous hiking sessions were shortened by your questionable sense of organization, always arriving too late to explore further into the unknown.

Leaves brush against your knees with every single step you take as you follow Izuku on his heels. He’s moving at a steady pace, his hands holding tight the straps of his yellow backpack that he’s had for as long as you can remember. He’s always so organized, has everything you two could eventually need and generally never do. Two huge flasks of water, an entire meal he calls ‘little snacks’, with sandwiches, fruits, protein bars, even hard-boiled eggs. A first-aid kit with disinfectant, bandages, scissors and painkillers. Hell, you’re even wondering if he has any pads for you in there, in case of an unexpected period. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

You giggle lightly when you see him stumble for the sixth time since you got here; he can’t seem to keep his curious eyes from drifting up and around, looking in every direction, probably retaining every detail and logging it in some impressive mental database of his. And he’s commenting on every little thing he sees too; he makes you notice things you never would have if it weren’t for his candid interest in everything.

“Oh! Look at that bird!” he exclaims, pointing at a branch over your heads. “Do you see it, right there, with the red mark!”

You turn your gaze to where he’s pointing and see a little bird, very cute, but so tiny you’re wondering how one could spot it without specifically looking for it. That’s probably what you like most about Izuku: his attention to detail. That’s the thing—nothing is too small for him, everything is worthy of interest. His eyes always light up with such curiosity, this child-like wonder and it was always one of your favorite things to witness growing up.

When he came over to your house at age six, he was always running around with some bug on his forearm, calling your name, yelling, “Look at this!”

Most of the time, it was a snail or a ladybug, and that always managed to catch your interest. Sometimes, it was a spider or a beetle, and he had you screaming in horror more than once, running to your mother’s legs with weeping eyes. Those times, he always watched you go with wide, sad eyes and a wobbly lip, because, “I would never hurt her, Mom! I swear I didn’t want to scare her!”

“Oh, yeah, I see it! It’s so cute!”

And it is cute, the way his huge green eyes go even rounder in amazement. You treasure these hikes for providing occasions to witness this. But as much as you wish this moment could last forever, the sun is beginning to set, you probably shouldn’t go deeper in the forest at sundown.

“We should probably head back to the car, Izuku. It’s gonna be dark soon.”

“Come on, it’s still so light—there’s no rush!” His lips crook a bit into an impish smile. “Scared that a bear is coming to get you?”

“There aren’t any bears here—we’ve been coming for five years.”

“Because if it’s the bears you’re afraid of,” he begins, ignoring you on purpose, “you know I’ll protect you, right?” he says, sticking out his chest like he’s some superhero.

“Against a bear? Right.”

“You’re underestimating me? That’s just mean.”

You chuckle at his antics, shooting him a look of yours that says, ‘Come on, please?’.

His eyes soften a bit, but he’s used to that look; it’s been years since it worked on him as well as you’d like it to.

“We can just keep going this way, then we’ll make a loop and head back to the car directly! It’ll be even shorter this way.”

“Alright, let’s do that,” you agree, and the smile it elicits from him makes something tingle deep in your stomach.

You move forward again, sinking deeper within the forest. It’s becoming harder and harder to walk, brambly branches and huge leaves blocking your way more and more with every step.

You’re a bit ahead of him when you catch sight of a sparkle behind the bushes. Just a glimpse of light, but you’re positive you saw it. Is there water here? You never really looked at a map of the place before—you just always went wherever you felt like and used the same tracks on the way back. You hurry up a bit, curious eyes fixed on that glimmer of light.

Soon enough the dense greenery comes to an end, and you’re finally out of the bushes, finding your way into a little clearing. You’re standing, speechless, in front of a pond: it’s about forty feet wide, catching the last rays of sunshine in a dazzling reflection. The water is surrounded by gigantic trees big enough to be home to an entire niche of biodiversity, and a half-sandy, half-stony shore with reeds rising from the water on both sides.

It’s all calm and quiet and massive trees, branches pouring, cascading above still water. The air feels cool, filled with a pure smell of dew and spring even though it’s the end of a hot day of July.

Izuku is close behind you and lets out a very cute, “Whoa,” ditching his backpack on the ground next to you in the middle of the cove. The both of you just stand there for a moment in complete silence, aside from the birds chirping. Izuku breaks it first:

“How come we’ve never seen this before? This place is amazing.” He sounds distant as he speaks, soaking up his surroundings like he always does.

“I guess you never know everything about anything,” you say mindlessly, without detaching your gaze of the wonderful view ahead.

He’s standing close to you, very close. You’re only noticing now that you’re coming down from the high of your discovery. Your arms are brushing, you can feel his body heat from how close you two are. It wouldn’t be the first time; you’re no stranger to being physically close to Izuku. You’ve been playing together since you were able to put one foot in front of the other. And you wish you could say it feels any different right now, but that would be a lie. Being close to him always felt the same. Always felt like the only easy thing in your life. The only constant.

Yet it’s not enough. No matter how close, it’s never enough, it never was. You hate yourself for feeling that way; you’ve never been the greedy, unsatisfied type. You have everything with Izuku. Well, almost everything.

But right now this place—this very quiet, beautiful place with no one in sight is doing things to your fertile imagination. Despite the sun just beginning to set, the summer air still remains thick with heat. You find yourself staring in the abyss of that water, admiring the masterpiece of a reflection on the surface, a painting of leaves and clouds and blue sky. It calls you, sings an irresistible song of fresh water on sweaty skin and strong, freckled arms wrapped around you.

You don’t know if the slight, insignificant detail that you would have to undress in order to dive into that water—since you didn’t bring a swimsuit—is a better reason to do it or to refrain from doing so.

You’ve lost count of how many moments you’ve shared with him just like this one. So many chances for you to take. You never have.

Back to the original issue: can you see yourself walk out of that clearing the way you always do? Can you see yourself going home, adding this missed chance to your growing collection of lost memories, of hands within your reach that you chose not to take?

The answer pops in your mind, crystal clear for the first time since you met him.

You drop your bag on the ground, turning to Izuku with a delighted expression stretching your features. The look on your face reminds him of one he’d seen on you as a kid, bouncing on the balls of your feet in front of the ice cream truck. At this moment he just knows you’ve got some stupid shenanigan in mind, like you always do. Once again, he isn’t wrong.

“Wanna take a dip?” You’re squinting at him from his side, a mischievous smile lighting up your face.

“I-I didn’t bring a swimsuit,” he stutters.

It’s been a long time since he last stuttered in front of you. He got rid of it years ago, but it still resurfaces sometimes in front of intimidating strangers or in a socially uncomfortable situation. Never in front of you, though.

“Me neither,” you answer plainly with that same impish smile, and his eyes go round at your implications.

“Wait, you can’t be—Oh my God—”

His heart does a great flip in his chest when he catches you taking the hem of your shirt up over your head. In less than five seconds, you’ve got him scorching hot, feverish and suddenly he can’t tell right from left.

His reflex is to bury his face in his hands. He respects you too much to take a peek, but you’re making things very difficult for him. He can hear you move towards the water, can hear the thump of your forgotten shoes hitting the ground one after the other, can hear the soft pad of your naked feet on the rocks.

“For the love of God, please, put it back on…” 

“What? Look at this view, it would be a shame not to make the most of it!”

He’s not looking at the view right now, he can’t let himself. He knows very well he won’t be able to focus on the trees when you’re standing pretty much naked—although he’s not sure to what extent—in front of him. You could be entirely naked right now and he wouldn’t be able to tell, his burning face still hidden in his shaking hands. His voice comes out muffled when he stammers, “I-It’s starting to get late, we really should get back to the car…”

“What, you’re scared of the bears?”

He can’t see you, but he knows you’re sporting that smug grin of yours, the one he first saw when you showed him your impressive collection of Pokémon cards on your preschool’s playground. You’ll have to take a lingering silence for an answer.

“Izuku, come on. I don’t bite.”

He’s not entirely sure the sight of you won’t gnaw him to the bone, won’t melt his entire body down and leave him a hot mess. He won’t be a man anymore, just a walking flame fueled by the heavenly sight of you. No, he can’t let himself fall into that. Obviously you don’t know what you’re doing to him.

Nevertheless, you’re probably the most stubborn person he knows. And he’s friends with Katsuki Bakugou, for God’s sake. He won’t be able to get out of this as easily as he wants, especially as he hears the delicate noise of water splitting at your feet as you enter the little pond.

He slowly moves his hands off of his face. You must have your back turned to him, so maybe he can drift his eyes off somewhere—

You are in front of him, thigh deep in the water now. In nothing but your panties. Your white, flower-patterned lace panties that are doing a very bad job at covering your backside. He lets out a long, pained whine, standing in the middle of the little shore with his arms dangling down his sides, not sure what to do with them.

“Why didn’t you at least keep your bra on?” His voice comes out way more wobbly than he intended to.

You turn a little so you can look at him, and it takes every little bit of strength he’s got left to look you in the eye. But as you’re turning around, the smooth curve of your breast starts showing, and God, is that your nipple?

He wants a giant hole to swallow him right now. He wants some forest creature to come for him right this instant, anything to keep him away from you, keep him from doing things he might regret. To punish him for having such thoughts about you, because you trust him, you’re so oblivious, so innocent, and he’s so weak against this inner monster that’s eating him away.

With a little frown, you deliver the answer like it’s self-evident as you kneel into the water, the surface just above your chest:

“I didn’t want it to get wet.”

“But you’re okay with your panties getting wet?”

The realization of what he just said is slow but surely comes. And when it does, he wishes even harder to get erased from the surface of this planet he’s already lucky enough to share with you. There is a long silence, and all he can hear for a few seconds are the birds chirping and the violent pounding of his heart against his ribcage, straining to get out.

You turn back around to look at him, dumbstruck. 

“I’m more than okay with that—”

“Please forget I just said that,” he cuts you off. He’s not sure he can bear to hear more of this.

“I’m never forgetting you said that. It’s pure gold,” you scoff.

He can only answer with a drawn-out whine. He doesn’t have any choice in this, does he?

When you dive in the water, he takes both his shaking hands to the hem of his shirt and starts undressing.

What the fuck am I doing?

The water is so pure you can see underwater as clear as day: the few rocks at the bottom, the little silvery fish all around you, and the last rays of sunlight permeating through the calm surface above your head. The water feels a bit cold on your naked skin since the sunlight and summer heat must only hit the clearing at certain hours of the day. Still, the cold water isn’t enough to clear your foggy mind.

What was I thinking?

You’ve always been a bashful person, why is it changing all of a sudden? Maybe it’s the devastating effect Izuku has on you.

You try to calm down a bit, taking a deep breath. So, you’re pretty much naked in front of him. Well, it definitely wouldn’t be the first time, and it (probably) won’t be the last. Now you just have to go through with your stupid idea. It’s no big deal, it’s only Izuku. Only Izuku.

Only Izuku.

Fuck.

You finally surface, not only because you can’t hide underwater forever, but also because, surprisingly, you’re not a fish, you have to actually breathe.

You push your dripping hair to the back of your head, still careful to keep your breasts under the water. Izuku’s already in to his hips when you turn around to look at him, your vision still blurry from the water trickling all over your face. He’s merciless, standing like that, only the elastic of his boxers peeking out of the water. You’re a bit surprised by the plain, black color. You were expecting something along the lines of blue, yellow and red. Izuku is full of surprises.

But nevermind the color of his underwear—what you find just above is mesmerizing. Your indiscreet, incorrigible gaze can’t help following the thin trail of hair tracing up to his navel, then the stunning lines of his abs, partly hidden behind his freckled forearms shyly crossed over them. The freckles spread up his powerful arms, gently sunkissed, scattering all over his broad shoulders.

Is he actually hiding, though? Doesn’t he know he looks like he was carved by the gods themselves?

“Have you done this before?”

The sound of his voice startles you a bit. Ah, right. You were shamelessly staring. It takes you a couple of seconds to force your distracted mind back into focus. “Done what?”

“Skinny dipping?”

“No, it’s my first time. It looks like it’s yours too.” His big, bright eyes drift around like they don’t know where to look. It’s really cute.

“It is,” he admits, now kneeling into the water as well. “I would’ve thought you were used to this.” You arch a single eyebrow in an amused frown.

“What, do I look like I have a professional degree in skinny dipping?”

“No, it’s just…You look confident, it just seemed like it.”

Confident? You’re nowhere near confident—you’re terrified. You try to keep your cool, but it’s probably the first time you’re putting on an act in front of Izuku.

“Well, you’re not so bad at it yourself.” You don’t miss the little blush coating his cheeks at that. “Also, I’m not exactly naked.”

“You’re not exactly dressed either, that’s a...v-very small piece of clothing.” He’s blushing a bit harder, looking away.

“Oh, seems like you paid some attention to my piece of clothing then, good to know.”

Now he’s quite simply scarlet. A very cute, very hot, freckled tomato. He’s so easily flustered, it only makes you want to tease him some more.

“Were your legendary All Might boxers in the dirty hamper? That’s a shame. I’m a bit disappointed,” you say in a mockingly innocent voice.

He doesn’t retort, simply stands there on his knees, shooting you an unreadable look and a little pout. After a few seconds, you open your mouth to continue, only to be startled by a strong splash hitting you in the face.

When you snap out of your shock, hair and face dripping all over your shoulders, you look up at him with what must be the scariest look of betrayal. Or the most ridiculous, apparently, since he starts laughing, louder and louder, and can’t seem to stop.

“Oh, you’re pretty pleased with yourself right now, aren’t you?” You can’t help but chuckle while talking, his laugh is so contagious.

“I am, yeah!” he manages to articulate, only starting to calm down.

As the calm of the forest returns, you watch his eyes go back to their usual round shape bit by bit, his face relaxing again. His smile causes butterflies to fly up and around in a whirlwind deep into your belly. You chuckle a bit at the feeling, almost embarrassed by how he’s making you feel like you’re in some dumb, cliche rom-com movie. On the outside, you must look a bit like a maniac, but he’s a nice guy, so he simply asks, “What is it?”

And before you can overthink yourself out of it, you’re hurling yourself at him. He barely has the chance to stutter a weak, “Wait!” before you’re putting all your weight on him, sinking his head deep in the water. Izuku may well be a nice guy, but you know he isn’t going to let you get away with this, so you’re not surprised when you’re dragged underwater by your legs. He lets go immediately, a bit abruptly, even, like it burnt his hands to touch you.

You both emerge from the water soon, and it takes you a second to get rid of the water blurring your vision, but then it hits you. How tantalizingly close you are to each other now, your bodies an inch away from touching. You’re both on your knees, enveloped in the coolness of crystal clear water and the reflections of the canopy of leaves above your heads. A spark of electricity makes you freeze on the spot; you’re so close to him your breasts slightly brush against his chest.

After a little eternity, you find the courage to look up at his face. He looks mindblowing, really. Despite the two decades you spent together, you’re not sure you’ve ever seen the pure, astonishing details of his freckles from this close. You would remember it, you definitely would. It’s a spectacular view, one of those visual memories that comes back to hit you in flashes. His nose and cheekbones are covered in them, drawing a mesmerizing pattern, more complex than the Milky Way itself. They’re an uncrackable equation, like a weird quirk of nature that you’ll never understand but don’t question anyway. They spread a little more scattered, but still very present, up to his forehead and down to his delicate jaw.

And his eyes—you could just drown in them. There’s this bright, blinding light there that feels like laying in the grass and looking up at the sunlight coating the leaves of this tree, the one you grew up near and always played under.

You swear you didn’t move, neither did he, and still you manage to get even closer to him. Now it’s you against the inexorable attraction that pulls you towards him like a fierce magnet. And it’s a losing battle, you think, as you’re both entering each other’s personal space like you share just one.

There’s nothing friendly about the way he can’t look you in the eye, seemingly too obsessed with your lips. You drop your gaze to his and find them calling for you. It’s been so long, now the thought of kissing Izuku seems unfamiliar despite being ever-present in your imagination for so many years. Like repeating a word so much it ends up becoming a series of meaningless sounds to your confused mind.

He’s the one who finally closes the distance, his lips landing on yours so softly you can barely feel them. He doesn’t move, simply content with the contact. You’re both eight years old again for a minute. The kiss feels like the little peck a kid would finally give to his crush in the middle of their school’s playground before running away to his friends.

Time seems to stop for God knows how long, and after what feels like no time and forever all at once, his lips move hesitantly against yours, bringing you back to reality. Right then, it all crashes on you like a tremendous wave. The distant echo of your mothers’ voices from the kitchen and the stupid cartoons they made you watch so they could talk for ten more minutes. The games alone together because no one wanted to play with you two weirdos. The piggyback rides, the dumb jokes, the video games (you always won). The neverending texting sessions at night because one of you couldn’t sleep. The fights that never lasted long enough to see the next sunrise because you both are way too weak for each other. All those stupid places that wouldn’t have looked half as breathtaking if it weren’t for him.

His lips are soft but roughly bitten. Hot and wet from the water and maybe from something else. He doesn’t taste like anything other than home, and that’s more than enough for you. His hands went up to cup your face at some point, but you’re too drowned in all the feelings coming up to the surface to pay attention to anything other than his soft mouth pressing on yours, more and more, opening up—

And it’s already over. You only notice that you’ve closed your eyes when you open them again when you don’t feel anything against your mouth other than the summer air. When your mind manages to regain any sense of function, the blurry focus of your gaze settles on his eyes. Wide open. Pupils eating up the dazzling viridian that puts the forest to shame. And a terrified expression in them.

He’s looking at you like he hurt you. His lips should still be on yours, kissing and sucking, not frozen like they are right now, obviously trying to express something painful as a few weak sounds pass their barrier before he finally manages to speak:

“Oh—Oh my God, I-I’m s—”

You don’t let him finish his stupid sentence. You don’t think twice before you take his face in your hands and lean in to kiss him again, with shameless intent this time. No more pretending—you’ve been waiting long enough for this and apparently, so has he.

It’s nothing gentle this time when your mouths crash against each other, teeth clashing and lips bruising under the weight of twenty years. You hold to his face like a lifeline, fingers sinking just a bit into his cheekbones, the tip of your nails getting caught in the knots of his dripping hair just above his ears. It’s messy, your noses rubbing before he angles his face better. One of his hands loops around your waist in a tight grip, forcing your chest to crush against his, the other burying in your hair at the base of your skull.

The feeling is electrifying, indescribable. It’s nothing like the pale, miserable depiction of your imagination. It’s discovering life in color when all you’ve always known was black and white.

The water is cool, but his body scorches against yours, burns your skin in the most exquisite way. The kiss is desperate on both parts, but neither of you is confident. His lips suck on yours with tentative motions, and you respond in kind the best you can. They are hungry, starving for flesh but don’t know how to hunt.

Your hands are gripping more and more of his hair, pulling harder, sending waves of heat all the way down his groin, and he’s not sure he can hide the bulge growing there for much longer.

He has to be sure, he has to be absolutely certain you want this as much as he does, because once he starts, he may not be able to stop. But you feel so good, all pressed against him. Your skin feels so soft under his hand at the small of your back he has to dig his nails in the skin of your waist so he doesn’t cross a line. But the curve just above your ass is begging for him to grip at the tender flesh and squeeze, fill his hands with it. He’s been dreaming about this for so long.

No, he can’t just hurl himself at you like a hunting wolf the first chance he gets—what kind of friend does that?

It takes him every bit of focus he has left to break the kiss, to part away from you. You have to discuss this, he can’t just throw away twenty years of friendship! Now you’re looking up at him with puppy eyes saying, ‘Why won’t you play with me?’ He breathes out a shaky sigh, and begins:

“Um, look. Believe me when I say I’ve wanted this for a very, very long time, and I love you so, so much. As a friend, I mean.” He sees you frown at this, catches a glint of something he doesn’t like in your eyes, then panics. “No, no, no, I mean, a-as a friend, but also more than that, o-obviously. But I don’t know what you want, you might be...d-disappointed, or...um—” His face starts heating up like it hasn’t in ages. He takes another breath, tries to clear up the muddled mess happening in his head. “Look, I just want the best for you, but you look...good, very good, and you’re making things very difficult for me, doing...this—”

“Izuku.” The deafening hubbub filling his mind falls suddenly silent, your voice a comforting, steady rock for him to cling to when his mind is storming out of control.

“Yeah?”

You get even closer to him, since he gradually set some distance while mumbling his anxious thoughts out again. You cup his face in your hands, a gentle, featherlight touch, and look up at him with determination in your eyes. You pull his head down a bit to settle on yours, your foreheads and noses connected, never breaking eye contact. Your lips graze over his, both your breaths mixing there, your voice a quiet whisper as you speak again. “Do you want me?”

Out of the jittery mess of his mind, the answer comes out like evidence, plain and simple: “Yes.”

“Then shut up and kiss me.”

You take action immediately, kissing him once again and this time he doesn’t hesitate to put his—still rather shaky—hands on you. The feeling of you is addicting, pushing his insecurities further in the back of his mind. He starts at your waist, running his thumbs there, feeling the goosebumps rising on your skin. They wander up your spine, counting every single bump of your bones, all the way to your nape. Then dragging them back down to settle on your hips, his fingers digging in the soft flesh. The little sigh you breathe on his lips causes an impressive amount of blood to run straight to his dick. 

Your mouth is distracting, dizzying, sucking on his bottom lip, nipping playfully. His tongue slides over your lips, then against your own when you open up immediately for him. You’re pressing against him even more, your breasts rubbing against his naked chest and he swears you’re going to be the death of him. You’re hanging from his shoulders by now, your arms circling his neck, still gripping a handful of green hair, pulling. You have to stop doing this—he might cum right away. He doesn’t say it aloud, only lets a moan escape him into your mouth.

He wanted this, wanted this for so long, and now that it’s real, it’s beyond everything he could have imagined. The heat of your skin, the weight on his shoulders as you cling to him, your breath in his mouth, your little sighs.

He’s only now noticing that his hands have gone to reach their destination with a mind of their own. They’re on your ass underwater, feeling the white, wet lace, the sole cloth on your entire body—that thing is just there to tempt him. He’s unsure if you like what he’s doing until you release a whimper, louder this time, enough to send a vibration against his mouth (and straight to his cock at the same time).

Suddenly, he wants to taste a lot more of you. You’re all open up to him for the first time—he has to. He trails a series of open-mouthed kisses from the corner of your mouth to your jaw, savoring every little sigh escaping your lips, then to your neck, dragging his tongue up the column of your throat.

The water is fresh all over you, and he doesn’t miss the shivers running up and down your skin at the contact of the twilight breeze. He needs to warm you up, needs to make you feel good, needs everything to be perfect for you. With his hands still on your ass, he trails lower down to your collarbone, allowing some occasional nips on the way that have you shaking. He freezes, looking up at you from there.

“Is this okay?”

The answer comes out breathy, a little desperate: “Yes, yes, please!” It sends a wave of heat all over him, the way you like what he’s doing to you, the way he’s making you feel good.

He’s not experienced or anything, only had a few hookups a couple of times, so he’s not very confident in his capacities, aside from running his hands all over you because that’s how his instincts are manifesting. You know him better than anyone—of course you would know how lost he could be in this kind of situation. But he also knows you’re not much more experienced than him, and that thought is comforting.

He’s experienced in one thing, though. He feels like the worst, filthiest person on the planet for this, but it’s astonishing the number of times he jerked off to the thought of what’s happening right now. How many times did he fuck his hand in the shower thinking about the water trickling down your skin, about licking it off your breasts all the way up to your neck.

So he does what he’s been dying to do for years. your breasts are just above the surface, so he sits on his heels and licks down your chest. When his tongue finally reaches your nipple, giving it a tentative lick, you let out a gasp, encouraging him to get bolder. And he does, closing his mouth on it like it’s the sweetest lollipop; it’s all cold and hard and raised from the water, but it warms up really quickly against the furnace of his mouth. His right hand leaves your ass to cup the neglected other, running his thumb against the bud, squeezing the flesh. That’s when you reach out to bury a hand in his hair, and pull again. God, you can pull on his hair all day and night like this; he’ll never get enough.

His left hand, still on your ass, rises up to the small of your back, feeling you arching more and more, pushing against his mouth. A harder nip has you gasping and he lets his hands run all over you, wandering without direction. It’s messy and urgent; he can’t help it—you feel so good, so soft under his hands. He’s like a kid getting to open his Christmas gifts in the morning after an endless, sleepless night waiting for Santa.

You trail your hand down his chest and his abdomen, a gentle reminder that the power he holds right now could slip through his fingers any moment. He’s willing to give it to you, especially since he doesn’t really know what to do next.

Like you just read his mind, you take his hands in yours, stopping their chaotic race. He’s feeling himself flush a bit—was he going too fast for you? Did he scare you? Or did he just let himself become overwhelmed by his feelings and it didn’t feel good for you? His eyes are looking down directly at your naked chest, he realizes he never took a proper look at them, too busy throwing himself to taste them. They look just as good as they taste, as beautiful as the rest of you.

Tentatively, he raises his eyes to find your reassuring gaze and fond smile. You lead his hands down slowly, setting them on your hips, over the criminal lace fabric preserving your modesty. Your foreheads connect again, but you never break eye contact. Lacing your fingers together, you guide his thumbs into the elastic on both sides, and now that he gets what you’re trying to do, his mind just stops.

Your voice is barely a whisper, a mesmerizing caress on his lips when you speak again. “I think I’ve waited long enough, Zuku.”

Your tone is fond, but you sound so desperate, it’s unbearably cute. His mind fogs up, the smoke of your words filling his skull and he wants to drive you as mad as you drive him. Sure, you’ve waited a lot, but so has he. He isn’t going to rush this, not if he has any say in it.

He slides your panties down your thighs underwater inch by inch. It’s even too slow for him; right now he just wants to rip the stupid piece of lace off of you and fuck you and him both stupid in the water, hard and fast. But even more than that, he wants to take his time with you, wants to take you apart piece by piece. And the testy whine it elicits from you makes it all so worth it.

You shift a bit so he can take your underwear completely off and, in a second, it lays abandoned on the sandy ground of the shore. Just knowing you’re now completely naked in front of him, it sends boiling desire flowing through every single vein in his body. He can’t see that part of you yet, the water darkening along with the sky clouding his view beneath the surface, but nightfall can’t do anything about Izuku’s wild imagination. He’s dizzy, feeling himself slowly falling into a half-conscious daze, but you anchor him right where you are, bringing him back to the reality of your arms hooked around his neck.

He rests his hands on your hips, dragging his fingertips down the soft flesh of them. The idea of touching you down there is making his head spin, he can’t wait any longer.

“Can I—”

“Yes, I want your fingers inside me,” you say before driving your lips back against his.

Without further ado, one of them goes straight to your core, making you jump a bit, breaking the kiss just for a second. He runs his index between your folds, feeling hot slick already coming out of you despite the fresh water around. His touch is light, slow, hesitant as it glides up and down, testing the waters. He’s getting a bit further, putting a bit more pressure with every stroke and earning a few pleased sighs from your heavenly mouth.

He expected a sudden reaction as soon as he found your clit, but that doesn’t mean he was prepared for the drawn-out moan coming out of your gorgeous lips, wet from his mouth and from your dip earlier. He wants to hear that again, every day for the rest of his life. He drags his thumb over it, again and again, slow at first, but then quicker and quicker, and your voice grows louder with every speed-up of his finger.

Your hands go frantic over him, running up his chest and down his abs in repeated motions that feel a lot like it’s lust driving your limbs much more than your mind. You stopped kissing him at some point, your mouth too busy expressing every ounce of pleasure you felt to focus on such basic motions. Your face is buried in his neck, your hot breath crushing against his skin.

He presses his index inside, but he’s so focused on what he’s doing, trying not to hurt you, that he doesn’t notice the shift of your own hand leaning down until he feels it cupping the painful bulge in his boxers. His eyes go wide with a gasp, and when he looks at you, you already have a playful, but intense, gaze piercing right through him.

“Did you think I was gonna let you play all on your own, Zuku?” Your fingers graze over the soaked fabric, down his entire length and to his balls, throwing gasoline on the fire that’s been consuming him for ages. “Don’t be selfish,” you whisper directly in his ear as your hands slip his underwear down his thighs.

As soon as the piece of cloth gets to join your forgotten panties on the shore, you wrap your pretty hand around him. And when you start stroking, his eyes roll so hard he swears he can see the inside of his skull. It feels better than he ever could have imagined; it’s blistering, astonishing. The only idea his brain can manage to work out right now is that he wants you to feel just as good.

He only notices now that his fingers stopped moving, and they go right back to a steady pace, but it’s a matter of seconds before he drives another finger into you. Soon, you’re both fucking the life out of each other with your hands. You’re sucking and nipping at his ear, and every single moan he draws out of you ends up turning against him, breaking into the defenses he built year after year by your side. He’s simply fucking into your hand now. He can’t help it, you feel so good. He doesn’t even want to think about what it’s going to feel like to fuck into your tight little cunt, he might cum hard just from the thought of it.

The spongy spot he finds inside you feels like he just struck gold. It’s glorious, the sounds you make right now, higher, louder. You’re tightening around his fingers, but it’s okay—you can crush them for all he cares. He wants you to moan higher for him, wants you to keep riding his fingers like your life depends on it.

“Izuku, ah—I’m close, I’m so close, please…”

“I got you, baby. I got you, shit—”

He quickens the pace again, feels like his fingers are gonna fall off his hand the moment he gets them out of you, but fuck, what his princess wants, his princess is gonna get. Your orgasms shatter the both of you to pieces, and in the bliss of his high, he can hear some birds flying away, scared by the harmonious, but probably very loud, song of your combined moans.

While his cum strikes out by ropes into the water, his clouded mind can only think about one thing.

He needs more of you.

You can barely stand on your knees, worn out from cumming the hardest you have in your entire life. You actually have to lean on Izuku so you don’t fall into the water head first like some boneless ragdoll. You just let your forehead rest on his shoulder and count the freckles there, splattered in a fascinating work of abstraction.

But apparently, he has other plans. You’re swiftly lifted up and out of the water, huge scarred hands firmly holding the back of your thighs that immediately come to circle his waist.

“Oh, nice. I don’t mind getting carried around like a baby. Where are we going?”

“Not far,” he says with a little grin, walking out of the water. “Do you think you’ll be able to walk?” His voice holds a sarcastic tone, one you’re not used to hearing out of Izuku’s angel mouth.

“I think I can manage, yeah.”

He drops you to stand on your legs, and immediately goes for his backpack. The sun has just set, its last rays of light filling the pink sky over your heads. You can still easily make out everything around you, and Izuku’s body is no exception.

You’re watching him with a raised eyebrow, letting your shameless gaze follow every curve you couldn’t see underwater. The day he started exercising in high school was the day you knew it was over for you. It was the day you couldn’t deny what you felt anymore, you couldn’t deny your best friend was everything you needed, and everything you wished for. The physical factor was only a—very pleasant— addition to the list of things that made you fall hard for Izuku Midoriya.

Your eyes linger over his impressive figure, staring at the dimples at the small of his back. You always knew they were here, but you never allowed yourself to look at them, to imagine how they would grow repeatedly hollow with every thrust of his hips into you.

He finally digs out what he was looking for: a plaid picnic blanket, because of course he would have one in there. He’s wearing a little victorious smile when he stands and turns around to spread it on a grassy spot that looks a lot more comfortable than the hard ground. He turns back to you but averts his gaze to the side, hardly looking directly at you for more than a second at a time. The heat of his gaze tracing your curves through quick glances pools deep in your core. 

“You know you can look, right?” You sure aren’t refraining from doing so after all.

His face reaches its usual redness—hasn’t he learned anything from making you cum like crazy with just his fingers? It’s cute nonetheless; Izuku will never change.

He doesn’t answer your rhetorical question, only gives you a shy command in that tentative, very cute voice of his.

“Could you lay down on this for me?”

You saw this coming, but still, you’re a bit surprised he’s asking you that out loud. You gladly oblige with your legs pressed together, slightly bent. It’s another golden opportunity to tease him a bit:. “This isn’t exactly the right use for this blanket. Aren’t we supposed to eat on this?”

He smiles at the ground while kneeling at your feet.

“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m planning to do.”

Your sly smile fades away. His tone is a contradictory mix of shyness and determination, so it’s a bit confusing but also unbearably hot—you swear an astounding wave of heat is crashing through your deepest parts, untouched, just from some words and a funny tone. You rub your thighs together before he grabs and parts them to slip himself between them.

He crawls over you and leans down to kiss you, a bit more confident than earlier. His hips are pressing between your legs, where you can feel his hardness best.

He’s rutting more and more against you as the kiss intensifies. You could think it’d be a lot less exciting now that you know he’s going to eat you out, there’d be no suspense. Wrong. The little shit apparently likes to tease you to death, because he left your lips to kiss your face, nip at your neck, suck at your ears. Dragging his devilish hands everywhere, pressing harder each time you get louder. An especially heavy whine makes him buck hard, his mouth back against yours.

“The more impatient you get, the slower it’s gonna be,” he murmurs against your lips, and starts to make his way down to where you want him, kissing every inch of you, clouding your mind with desire. It’s way too much and still not enough; it’s maddening. When he finally reaches down, you’re on the verge of a second orgasm like you hadn’t just come down a few minutes ago.

He’s holding your thighs apart in a firm grip. Just the touch of his fingers burns your skin deliciously, and the look he’s giving you from between your legs...his eyes are clouded, half-lidded, looking at the part of you he’s never gotten to see before. It feels like he’s been looking forever and just a second at the same time.

He finally dips into you, leaving butterfly kisses all over your inner thighs, punctuated by little nips, nuzzling the soft skin. He’s not looking you in the eye anymore, his gaze lingering all over your body—all over except for your face. You can make out a slight blush on his cheeks despite the dimness all around. You know him better than anyone, so you immediately recognize what’s going on in his mind just from the slightest hint in his eyes. He looks like he’s fighting a battle against himself, his shyness against his hunger. And you know who you’re both rooting for.

He finally gives in, and it takes your breath away. A single, slight lick on your clit and you’re gone. And the next ones, more and more intense, more and more hungry, push you further to tumble over your edge. He grunts into your heat, multiple times. Moans like he’s the one squirming under your mouth.

His hands hold a firm grip on your hips, squeezing the flesh and keeping you in place—he doesn’t even give you an inch to move. You can only take and take and take. But you still have the luxury of your free hands, and they rush to bury in the knots of his messy wet curls, your nails dragging, scratching his scalp.

His lips close on your clit and suck just a bit, and before you can refrain, you pull on his hair, hard. He gasps, and the moment you think you hurt him, he breathes his loudest moan, right into you. You’re filled with the vibrations—they spread all over your body, have you throwing your head back, trembling from head to toe.

The louder you are, the hungrier he gets, filling you with his insatiable tongue. You have to look at him right now. And you expected quite a show, but you certainly weren't prepared to see this—him rutting against the ground like an animal. You realize he’s getting off just from your taste, just from eating you out. His hips roll repeatedly, making you salivate just to the thought of those same hips bucking into yours, fucking you into oblivion. And the more he ruts, the louder he gets.

Now if he wants to moan, you’re going to give him a good reason to. 

You hint for him to face you with a light tug on his hair. As soon as he’s back up, he dives in to kiss you. You don’t let him. In a second he’s on his back with you seated on his hips.

“What did I say about letting you play on your own, hm?”

The ‘deer caught in headlights’ look is so cute on him. And the rest is a marvel to look at. You’re straddling him and he has no other choice than to let you devour him with your eyes—not that he couldn’t bounce you off of him with just a thrust of his hips, but he already would have if he wanted to. You let your gaze wander mindlessly over him—it’s surreal. There’s no way he’s actually under you, waiting for you to please him back with his mouth and jaw still shining with your juices. It has to be a dream—it’s always been after all.

You shift so you’re straddling his parted thighs. You can finally take a look at him. The whole thing, that is. His cock is resting against his lower stomach, hard and swollen and thick. It’s a pretty, bright pink, shining with pre-cum at the tip. Your mouth waters just at the sight of it.

He’s looking down at you, his face as flushed as his dick, that usual blush still exquisitely coating his freckles. You take him in your hand, dive in to give a lick to the tip and his head falls back down with a whimper. You let your tongue drag over the whole length on the underside, and your lips close around the tip in a wet smooch. His hips jerk up a bit, startling you.

You finally take him whole in your mouth, and you can feel his whole body tensing under you. You start bobbing up and down, going a bit further each time, earning a series of shameless moans because this boy is loud. You expected him to express himself during sex since he’s such a mumbler—and frankly, it was always one of your biggest fantasies, hearing him come undone because of you, lose any sense of shame and self-restriction when he’s such a anxious person otherwise.

But you could’ve thought about it every night and day and still never be ready for this. It’s sinful. His hand goes to grab your hair just like you did to him, and now you get why he liked it so much. The feel of his nails scratching your scalp is electrifying, soothing and destructive at the same time.

Your tongue hits a precise spot just under the tip and he jerks up again, nearly screams, “Fuck—yes, right there, please—d-do that again!”

And you do, you can only oblige—he asked so nicely. Your lips go up and down, over and over, your tongue grazing this spot with a bit more pressure every single time. You squint over him, and what you find there is a mess. Trying so hard not to buck into your mouth but failing miserably. Sounding like he’s at Heaven’s gate.

“Easy, Zuku. You’re gonna scare the birds away,” you chuckle against him, your lips brushing the tip, dripping with your saliva and pre-cum.

“Do I need to remind you…how loud you were for me earlier?” He’s looking back down at you as he speaks, a tremble in his voice telltale of his approaching climax. “You sounded...so good, baby, I swear...wanna hear you again, wanna make you scream, just for me, fuck—”

You can feel yourself soaking the blanket, can feel the slick trickle down your folds and stain the plaid cotton. Is he aware of what he’s doing? Or is he just saying whatever is going through his chaotic mind? In any case it has you starving. So you let go of his cock and, before he can protest, crawl back to his face and kiss him desperately. Tasting both of your fluids in a mindblowing mix.

You pull back just enough to be able to speak, because you need him to understand you loud and clear when you say:  “Please, Izuku, I need you inside me, I’ve waited so long. Please.”

“Okay, okay, fuck—” He cuts himself off, his eyes slightly drooping like a sad puppy. “I-I don’t have any condoms.”

“You mean you probably have pads in there for me but no condoms?” you say with your eyebrows raised, your mocking tone hinting at a teasing remark, far from criticism.

He frowns in confusion. “How do you know I have pads in there?”

“So the legend turns out to be true. After all these years—”

“Shut up, you’re impossible,” he chuckles heatlessly, resting his hands on your back.

“It’s okay. I’m on the pill,” you assure him with a soft tone.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m on the pill, yeah.”

He rolls his eyes, then clarifies, a hint of hesitation clear in his voice.

“No I mean...you’re sure you wanna do this?” He marks a brief pause, takes a short breath. “With me?”

You don’t even think before answering, it slips your mouth like it’s not even your own words: “I don’t want it with anyone else.”

There’s a silence.

“Fuck, that sounds cheesy,” you scoff, looking away.

“It does, but we’re both cheesy idiots, apparently.”

You look back at him. His smile is so fond, so loving; it melts your heart in the best way.

“I wanna be your cheesy idiot,” you say against his mouth, looking right into his eyes, willing to fall in them.

“You always have been,” he nearly whispers. It fills your stomach with familiar warmth, intense and overwhelming, comforting.

There’s a bittersweet taste in your mouth, one of regret and lost time and God, we’re idiots.

Now it’s about time you make up for it all.

You look down at him, rolling your hips against him, dripping all over his cock, coating him in your juices.

“I think I asked you something, didn’t I?”

A whimper escapes him at the feeling. His hips buck up slightly, hands gripping at your back. When you do it again, you don’t get the chance to see his reaction; you’re on your back again, him towering over you, his thigh between your legs.

He’s looking at you with something in his eyes you don’t recognize, but the tone he speaks with has your entire body quaking.

“And you’re gonna get it, sweetheart.”

He holds himself over his left forearm, his hand thumbing at your cheek while the other strokes the whole length of your thigh. Your noses are brushing, your breaths crashing together. Your hands hold tight to his nape, playing with the short hair mindlessly as you’re waiting to be filled, finally.

You feel the stretch instantly. You try to focus on those mesmerizing emerald gems he calls eyes. They look right through your soul, eating you up and you barely feel the pain. He’s taking it slow, inch by inch, giving you all the time you need, caressing your cheek with a tender stroke of his thumb.

“Relax for me, baby.”

Izuku’s voice is a soothing sound over the incessant chirping of the grasshoppers. It was always one of your favorite things to hear, its every tone another blessing to your ears. It’s loving when he asks if you’re okay, comforting when he whispers sweet nothings to you as you cry on his shoulder, heartening when he’s going on about anything he’s passionate about.

He’s kissing every part of skin he has access to, over your face, your jaw, your neck. You feel yourself relaxing around him, and roll your hips up to give him the hint.

When he starts moving it’s still slow and careful. He doesn’t break eye contact, so you can see his every reaction, and he can see all yours. His hand is still playing with your hair, even as his pace speeds up with every second. The weight of him over you feels amazing, it holds him close against you, countless parts of you both rubbing together: your chests, your stomachs, your thighs. He doesn’t even have a lot of space to move. But getting to touch and get touched by him like this, it's incredible. You always had him so close to you, always right there and still so out of reach.

You still need more; you’re insatiable. You need to see him come undone under you, because of you. You push him to roll on his back, and you end up straddling him, setting the pace yourself. You start bouncing up and down on his cock, taking balance on the hard planes of his abs. He immediately reaches up to grab your hips, guiding you along.

His face tenses up, frowning, his nose wrinkling, his lips parted just to let out a series of breathy sighs. He looks wrecked and dizzy and stunning. He’s keeping his eyes open, fixed up on you, specifically on your breasts, bouncing with your every motion. And you can feel his gaze on your skin just as much as you feel his hands gripping harder at the flesh below your hips.

“Eyes up here, Zuku,” you coo with two fingers pointed at your eyes.

He doesn’t answer, only sits up easily and wraps his arms around your waist.

“You look so amazing, you have no idea what you do to me,” he says with a trembling voice, filled with bliss.

Your heart misses a beat at his words, they fill you with warmth and comfort because he definitely doesn’t have any idea what he’s doing to you. He delves his face into your neck, kissing and nuzzling, his breath coming shorter and shorter, crashing against your skin and his hands running all over you. The sound of his hoarse voice resonates through the forest and through your soul, echoing an enchanting song.

With little effort, he puts you back under him so he can pound into you with full force, and your legs immediately come up to wrap around his waist, pulling him deeper. Your hands grab his hair, tugging to see if you get the same reaction as earlier, and it doesn’t miss: he lets out a groan right into your ear, speeding up his pace again.

The sky is dark now, and all you can hear are his moans and yours and the slap of your hips coming together repeatedly. Your head is thrown back when he grabs you by the hair, forcing you to turn your head and face him.

“Look at me. I wanna see you.”

“Izuku, I’m gonna—”

“I know, baby. Let go for me, come on.”

Just the feel of his hand trailing down your stomach awakens something in you, this familiar pressure growing tight in your belly. And when his fingers reach your clit, a couple of strokes are enough to have you screaming his name, tightening around him, and pulling him towards his climax with you. His thrusts come franticly as you milk him dry, clawing desperately at his back, panting in his mouth as he leaned down to kiss you through both your climaxes.

As soon as he comes down, he rolls over on his side, still laying close to you, an arm thrown over you. You both take a minute to catch your breaths and, weirdly enough, you don’t hear anything aside from your panting. You really must have scared the birds away. Izuku breaks the silence first.

“Do you wanna...sleep at my place?”

He’s looking over at you and, despite the sky getting dark, you can easily imagine the blush coating his cheeks right now, like he didn’t make you scream his name, drunk on his cock two minutes ago.

You can’t repress your fond smile at his proposition.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

You take a minute to gather your clothes from all over the place and get dressed, then grab your bag to tug it over your shoulder.

“You got everything?”

Izuku is waiting for you just outside the trees. You take a quick look around, making sure you haven’t forgotten anything, and turn around without a second look at the place.

Because although it was your first time setting foot here, it definitely won’t be the last; you will come back here with Izuku every chance you get, making it your shared secret, your own little wonderland.

You gladly take the hand he’s offering, making him blush a little harder, and you head straight back into the forest together.

You walk side by side as a comfortable silence settles, only disturbed by the grasshoppers’ incessant, boisterous chirping. The sky is utterly dark now, you can make out a few stars shining above the dense trees. You walk at a steady pace, but Izuku is going a bit faster with every step. Soon enough, he’s walking a bit ahead of you, still holding your hand. Another golden occasion to tease his eagerness.

“Are we in a hurry, Zuku?”

In the dark of the night, you struggle to make out the look on his face as he turns around to look at you. A second later, he’s running, and with your hand firmly held in his, you can’t do much but try to follow along. You giggle as you run, and it quickly grows into a belly-deep laughter. He’s fast, doesn’t get tired, but you follow him anyway, probably as eager as he is. You have to zig-zag so you don’t run straight into the massive trees standing in your way.

You get to the car in no time, but you’re both out of breath when you finally get in your respective seats, ready to go home.

Izuku doesn’t even wait to catch his breath before he starts the car, the engine roaring loudly in the silence of the night, probably scaring the birds away for the upteenth time that night. You catch his happy grin in the headlights glow before he heads back into the road.

You have a feeling the night is not over; you’ve only got twenty years to make up for after all.

[aarcanechaoss]

Atsushi Nakajima: Stress Relief

Female reader because I’m being selfish and imagining it was me even though I would very much prefer to top I’m very much down for Atsushi to as well. | MDNI

Atsushi Nakajima was stressed and his last month had been utter shit. He’d been chased, maimed, attacked, beaten half to death, had about eight panic attacks in five days, was doing all of Dazai’s work because if the suicidal asshole didn’t do it no one would and overall Atsushi could just feel everything piling on top of him. It was so bad his girlfriend forced him to ask Yosano to get permission for a few days off for his mental health. Thank the gods for his girlfriend.

Atsushi and her had been together for a few months now, she was a university student who was shadowing Fukuzawa as an assistant and even Atsushi admits that he felt like she was a ray of sunshine. So pretty and bright that he had blurted out such things as he asked her on a date after a month of working with them. He isn’t ashamed to say a massive fuck you to Dazai at his stammering clearly working better than him asking her to go skydiving without a parachute…. Kyoka approved of the relationship too- apparently she had done some digging on said girl from her dietary needs to the fact that she learnt how to fight from a young age… thanks Kyoka- he does love his little sister so he can’t fault her for looking out for him. Especially when he could tease her about a certain farm boy. In any case he was so happy to just be laying in bed beside her, Netflix playing quietly as they snuggled in close. He wanted to him in content but the stress of the month was evident

“Kitten.” Atsushi said, his voice lower than usual. Lips grazing her earlobe his hands holding her tight against him as he situated himself behind her. His back rested against the headboard and pillows while you were pressed to his chest- both completely naked.

It was slow at first, whispers of each other’s pet names, your hands gripping on his calf while his travelled all over your body.

No one would have expected him to take charge like this except for you. He was always teased for being so vanilla by Dazai, the man would even joke about him being on the receiving end of such private affairs. Oh how wrong he is, sure maybe a few times have you taken over but very rarely and only if he was tired or asked you… but every other time Atsushi was more than knuckle deep, his fingers moving in a way that made you shake and whimper so loud he’s certain that if he was at the dorms and not your apartment that everyone would know the pecking order in your bedroom affairs.

One hand slowly moving against your folds, thumb rubbing on your clit, your thighs shaking as your orgasm attempts to be fulfilled. But just as he’s done the last four times he’d stilled his hand.

“Aww precious kitten. Sad because I won’t let you cum?” Your whimpers only seemed to please him as your body shook with your heavy breaths. His hand, the one not reaching deep between your thighs, pinched at a nipple making you squirm against his hand.

“Please Atsushi.” You whined out.

“Why should I?” He asked teasingly.

“I’ll be good I’ll be so good please let me cum I want you inside me please.”

He seemed to think for a moment- the room almost freezing in time before his fingers moved again making you jump. Your moans seemed to bounce off the wall as your legs clamped around his hand that didn’t slow down or stop, finally you’d get to cum…

He stopped again. A rumble of a laugh reverberated from his chest. Your whimpers and teary eyes earned some sympathy as he rolled you both over, making sure you were however on your back against the soft sheet.

“I think I may have teased you enough my kitten.” He said, voice low and teasing. “I want to play some more so I-“ Atsushi hissed as his length pressed into your awaiting wet warmth.

“Yes.” You moaned.

“I think we should end this together my kitten.”

It didn’t take much for either to finish, so riled up from Atsushi’s teasing neither could help themselves as he rutted into her as fast as he could. His strength and stamina making you near limp as your orgasms finally hit. Yours strong, powerful and blinding, his warm, strong and inviting. A few more thrusts and Atsushi was curling against you.

You were both laid on your sides, your left leg thrown over his hip since he refused to remove himself from you just yet.

“I love you.” He said. Always so soft and sweet after a stress relieving session.

“I love you too kitty.” You say pressing a kiss to his jaw making him smile.

“I love you more.”

“I love you times a million.” You giggled.

“Plus one.” He said. Your grins tired but loving as you shared one last kiss and fell fast asleep.

[petrichor-han]

hi love~ congrats on the 300 followers milestone! i absolutely adore your works especially the “you’re my home” one that features taehyun! as for the request, i would love if it if you could write a felix drabble with this prompt please - “Let me take care of you, darling.”

thank you in advance!! 🥺💚

hello doll!! thank you so much for your kind words, i'm so happy you liked that fic! i hold it dear to my heart as well. i hope this felix drabble brings you just as much joy~ i loved working on it!

PAIRING | felix x gn!reader

CAST | felix lee

WC | 765

GENRE | fluff, comfort

WARNINGS | crying, overworking, explicit language

MASTERLIST | EVENT MASTERLIST

Felix didn’t mind being the source of everyone’s energy. He loved being the bright ray of sun in his friends’ lives, loved visiting home to his family and watching their faces light up with joy when they saw his smile. He especially loved coming home to you every night and watching your tired face smile, albeit wearily, as he pinched your cheeks and told you all the wonderful things he loved about you. And you loved your little happy vitamin endlessly. You were a university student who held two part-time jobs to be able to afford the apartment you shared with Felix; his idol salary was still quite low and it was up to you to take up the brunt of the price, which you did with no complaints, wanting to support Felix and his dream. Secretly, Felix felt guilty for this, wishing that he could do more than just compliment you and cuddle with you. He wanted to be successful, to support you. He wanted to see you quit those jobs you hated and relax, go on vacation with your friends and family. Perhaps that was why he worked as hard as he did, more so than the other members lately, after he’d seen you come home crying after a customer had yelled at you at one of your shitty jobs.

It was his job to take care of you and make you happy. If he couldn’t prevent these bad things from happening, the very least he could do was comfort you through them.

But even the human embodiment of sunshine had his bad days, and unfortunately, one of those days came on the lucky day off that you had together, and he only hated himself more for feeling this way on a day he was supposed to spend with you.

You were already all dolled up to go out; Felix had planned the perfect picnic date by the Han river, and you were more than excited. He’d stayed up half the night trying to perfect a combination cookie-brownie recipe, and you knew just how happy he was when he finally got it right. But now, as you tried to shake him awake, he just stared back at you with dead eyes, deep purple bruises under his eyes from lack of sleep, and he clasped your hand in his as he began to tear up, immediately apologizing. “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, kissing your hand over and over again, holding it to his cheek. You could feel his hot tears wash over your skin, and you felt your breath catch in your throat at the sight of your love having a breakdown. “I wanted to go with you, I did. I do. But I’m so tired. I’m so sad. I’m sorry, my love,” he whispered, sitting up in bed. “Please don’t be mad.”

How could you be mad? You looked at Felix, worry evident in your eyes. His legs were twisted in the blankets, blonde hair tousled from last night’s shower after practice; he hadn’t bothered to brush it afterwards. His face looked sunken, gaunt, and his clothes seemed to hang off of his thin frame even more than usual. This time it was you who felt guilt, for not realizing how drained your happy pill was. How could you let your sunshine get so dim? When did his light leave?

“Why would I be mad?” you scolded gently, pulling him into a tight hug, “come on. We can have our picnic here, in bed. What’s the difference?”

Felix sniffled, pulling away from the hug as he thought, pushing his lips out into a pout unconsciously. “We won’t be able to sit in the warm grass and feed the ducks. You love feeding the ducks.”

“The ducks will be there next time,” you soothed, “the most important thing is that I’m with you. That’s all that matters to me.”

Felix scooted closer to you and latched himself onto your arm, leaning his head on your shoulder. “Next time, I really will take you out.” You hushed him, stroking his messy yellow locks, pressing a kiss to his freckled forehead.

“But today, let me take care of you, darling,” you said, holding out your hand, silently asking him to hold it.

Felix nodded, afraid that if he spoke again he would start to cry more, and he laced his fingers with yours, sniffling. He was upset that he couldn’t take you, the love of his life, on a date you truly deserved, but maybe today, he would let you take him somewhere happy, just this once.

© petrichor-han 2022, all rights reserved

[bearlyfunctioning]

Bears & Bravery - (Finale)

Ursa was quick to put some breathing room between her and the animated doors. She wandered, feeling little hope that she could ever find Tuur in such a massive place but uncertain that the world above was ever worth going back to without him.

The souls of the departed ignored her. Other scarier underworld denizens took more interest, but when they caught a glimpse of her three-headed traveling companion, they carefully kept their distance.

And so, she wandered, resting from time to time and snuggling with Cerberus when her loneliness threatened to overtake her. In time, the scenery changed. She saw great rivers and seas, grasslands, tundra, and even the deep lush forests that made her feel so at home. At times, she even forgot that she was in the underworld at all. Either the light had shifted to the greens all around her, or her eyes had adapted. She couldn’t be certain, nor did she care.

Cerberus’s leftmost head waited with stick in mouth, ready for her to take it and throw it once more. His middle head seldom rested, ears always perked, listening for danger. But it was his rightmost head that had become Ursa’s confidant these past few months. Though he never spoke—none of his heads ever did—it was the rightmost head that always listened when she talked. His eyes watched her closely, his brows lifted as if he was carefully considering what she said.

“Am I wasting my time?” she asked him. “Is this hopeless? Is it even possible to find someone in such a place, or would you have to have a guide?”

He tilted his head ever so slightly, his brows drawn together as if to say, “I don’t know.”

“And if I chose to leave,” she continued, “could I? We’ve been wandering for ages! I’ve only got the faintest notion of how we got here. I certainly couldn’t retrace our steps.”

She took a moment to toss the stick for Lefty. When they returned, Righty took up his post beside her, listening intently once more. “Do you suppose he’s looking for me?” she asked the dog. “He had to have known that I’d come. I mean, of course I did. But there’s no sign, no clues, no…”

She stopped and leaned against his shoulder for a long while. Then, she wiped her eyes, letting out a half-smile when Righty licked her cheek. “I guess I’m … disappointed. I feel like he’s left me.” Ursa shook her head. “Well, of course he has, but I wonder if he gave up on me coming back for him.”

The two of them—or four, depending on how you counted—stepped out of the trees and into a wide green clearing. The druid paused, her blue eyes squinting a moment as she caught a ray of yellow sunshine that glinted through the trees. She pointed. “Did you see that?”

Without waiting, she transformed into a hawk and soared above the trees. Though not bright, there absolutely was a yellowish light way off in the distance. Could this be the sign she’d been searching for? Was this Tuur’s doing? A fire? A beacon of some sort he’d set up to draw her attention?

Her heart lifted, and she wanted to set off across the treetops, but instead, she circled back around, refusing to leave Cerberus behind. And so, they traveled together: her flying from one branch to another, then waiting for the giant dog to bound through the trees and catch up. Occasionally, she’d soar back above the canopy before heading back down once more, adjusting their trajectory so they wouldn’t veer off the true path.

Whatever the light was, it continued to burn day-in and day-out. She rested when she had to and traveled whenever she could. And in less than a week, she was there.

Ursa slipped back into her bear form and stepped from the trees. There, not thirty yards away, sat a familiar-looking panda, sitting with his back toward her and warming his hands against the yellow-orange glow. Tuur turned his head a moment, and he fixed her with his soft brown eyes. He gave her a sad smile before turning back.

“I was wondering if you’d come for this,” he said with a voice that every fiber of her being had missed.

“Yeah, well,” Ursa sighed as she stepped closer, “I kinda need it.”

He nodded without looking back. “Should never have given it to me.”

That made her smile. “I never intended to, y’know? It just sorta … happened.”

Tuur scooted over and Ursa took a seat beside him on the fallen log, snuggling up close. “I’m glad you did though,” he whispered. He rubbed his hands together for a moment before extending them once again. He warmed his palms with the heat radiating from Ursa’s glowing heart as it hovered above the ring of stones like a campfire. He explained, “It’s brought me great comfort this whole time.”

The druid pressed a fist against her hollow chest. She squeezed her eyes closed and forced a tear to run down her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” she whispered. “I’ve missed you so, so, so much…”

“I’ve missed you too, honeysuckle.” Tuur put his arm around her and pulled her close. He kissed her on the cheek, then smacked his lips a few times, savoring the taste. “But you know I can’t go. This is my place now.”

She looked at him with red eyes, and he smiled. “Take it,” he said. “Use it. Love someone else.”

Ursa buried her face in his shoulder. She grabbed two fistfuls of his black and white fur. “I can’t.”

He turned and cupped her face in his palms. “Of course, you can. You still have time left. Please don’t waste it.”

“I could never love another,” she sniffled.

“Then, I’ll be here, waiting for you, when you’re finished.”

She bit her lip. “But what if I do?” she whimpered. “What if I do find someone else? What will happen to you?”

“I don’t know,” admitted Tuur.

“Hold me,” she begged. “Kiss me.”

But the panda just shook his head. “I want to. I do. But every moment you spend here with me is just going to make it all the harder for you to go back, to go back where you belong.” He drew a great breath and released it slowly, his brown eyes sparkling in the firelight of Ursa’s heart. “Take it. Go home and live the rest of your life. When you’re ready, I’ll still be here, waiting.”

Ursa shook her head. “No! I can’t. That was the only way I found you in the first place,” she explained. “If I take it back, then I’ll never find you again. I just know it!”

Tuur just smiled. With his bare hands, he took her heart from where it hovered. And with a gentle push, he put it back where it belonged, deep inside her chest. Then, he cupped her face and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “Don’t be so silly,” he said as he wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

Then, he sat back and basked a moment in the warm yellow glow that radiated from her. “You won’t have to,” he promised. “I’ll find you.”

~

Epilogue: Life Goes On.

I'd really love to hear what you thought of the story, if you've read it now  Here's a link to the full short story, not as images (Public and free!) for ease of reading/accessibility: https://www.patreon.com/posts/64763185

[missblissy]

Please Alastor trying to figure out why his s/o is upset and trying to cheer them up.

Ps. Love your blog!!

((Thank you so much nonny!! I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you all!! I love ya'll so much :'D Don't ever stop sending in the alastor asks. Im such a slut for Al ya'll know I'm only here for the stinky deer))

You had been ignoring him all day... Well... Maybe not ignoring him exactly. But it certainly felt like you were. Alastor found it odd and rather unspetting that you seemed so distracted by something that wasn't him. He wouldn't admit it, but he was very needy and didn't like it when you paid him little to no attention. He was sitting with you for breakfast, you barely touched your food. You did little to no talking as well. You just started out the tinted red window, looking out into hell and watching the sky grow brighter with the day.

It had finally bothered him enough. Alastor gave a shallow smile and raised his brows, "Everything alright, dear?"

It took about a minute for you to reply, "Hm?" You looked at him slowly then looked back out the window, "Oh," Was all you said. You rested your chin in your hand, leaning on your arm for support, "Yeah, I'm fine,"

Why was it that whenever someone said they're fine... They weren't actually fine. Alastor didn't want to play these games but he knew not to press too much about it, "Are you sure?" He grabbed his warm mug of coffee and brought it to his lips, "You seem down in the dumps."

You spoke as he took a long sip from his mug, "No, I'm just tired-"

"You slept an hour in, though-"

"Alastor. I'm fine. Stop asking." You gave him a hard pointed look, it cut into him far more than he wanted it to. You watched his smile slowly fall, but land at a half-assed and weak smirk.

The rest of breakfast was silent. Neither of you spoke, and after some time you got up and excused yourself. Alastor was left sitting there alone, wondering if he did anything to upset you. He recalled the past 24 hours and couldn't pinpoint anything he might have done, which worried him even more. It didn't seem like you were upset at him, but you were certainly upset about something. He was smart though and knew better than bothering you. In fact, he took this as a chance to spend the day away from you and instead work on a plan to make you smile, if only for a second, that would be enough for him.

He knew that you deeply loved sunsets far more than the regular person. He knew your favorite wine, red wine because you liked to pretend you were drinking blood. He made sure to steal those roses you loved so much from the hotel's courtyard. He had to be careful though, most flowers died the second he touched them, so he was sure to not let that happen. And lastly, you loved ice cream so much that it was almost a sin. Now, Alastor didn't know how to make ice cream but he did buy you some.

And so he waited. He waited all day until the evening sky was just starting to change in hues. Alastor quickly went to work, setting down a blanket and picnic basket full of ice cream and other sweets that you liked, much to his distaste. After that he hunted you down, searching high and low within the hotel. He found you at the bar, resting your head on the counter with a hand wrapped around a whiskey.

"My dear!" Alastor greeted you quickly. He ignored Husk, and ignored his comment about ignoring him, "You haven't been here all day have you?"

You sat up slowly, a deep sadness on your face that broke Alastor's heart, "Yeah... I have."

When Alastor wanted to be pushy, and bossy, he could. He wasn't sure if could do that right now. Something much bigger seemed to be at work here, something he didn't fully understand yet. So he smiled and played his best gentlemen. He bowed, then held out his hand, "My darling, would you come with me, please?"

You wanted to tell him no... But... How could you when he asked so nicely? You drank down the last of your whiskey, slammed the glass on the bar, then stood up, "Alright." You were only slightly drunk, so you stumbled a little.

Alastor was quickly to catch you, and he smoothly said, "Falling for me again, are we now?"

You saw the twinkle in his eye and let the corners of your lips rise ever so slightly, "You dork," You took your hand in his, and twisted your fingers together as he walked you out of the hotel, "Where are we going?"

"Not far," He said, "Just over there." He pointed towards the courtyard.

You looked over and saw quite the little scene. He set up a picnic on the tallest hill overlooking the city as the sun fell below the horizon. He knew you too well, in fact, he knew everything there was to know about you. You let out a little gasp, "Al..." You turned to him and saw his pride beaming out of him brighter than the sun, "You did this?"

"Of course, my dear," He pulled you along then helped you sit down on the blanket. He joined you soon after, sitting close beside you, "I would do anything to see you smile. I would do anything to make you happy."

He really was a nice guy under all those evil threats and murders, wasn't he? You watched as he poured you both a glass of wine. You leaned on him, resting your head on his shoulder, "Thank you, Al... I needed this."

Alastor handed over your glass of wine, "Do you want to tell me what happened?" He asked.

With a heavy sigh you thought about it, then told him, "It's not about what happened. It's about when it happened." He wasn't quite picking up what you were implying. You took a long gulp of your wine and nearly emptied the glass, "Today was my birthday. I know we don't really celebrate those things down here. But... It makes me sometimes wish I wasn't here, and it fills me with regret for ending up here." Alastor listened silently. He flickered his gaze back and forth between you and his own glass of wine. He took a sip, then recalled he didn't even remember his birthday anymore. How bizarre... how could someone forget their birthday? "But..." You suddenly spoke again, "I guess if I never came here, I wouldn't have met you."

You looked up at him and gave him a smile. He felt his radio heart flicker and twitch in his chest until he started to laugh, "Haha- Ah... I guess that's one way of looking at it."

"No- I mean it." You cut him off, trying to be a little more serious, "My life was very... shitty. The nicest part was when I died and I met you. Everything you've done has made my afterlife so much better than what I probably would have been given if I went up there," You both looked up to the sky and saw the little opening in the clouds. Heaven always was looking down on you, watching every move.

"Well," Alastor held his glass up as if he was making a toast, "Happy Birthday, my love, I hope the rest of your night is spent well."

You lifted your glass, then both of you took a long drink from your glass. You leaned into Alastor as close as you could, resting against him and enjoying the soft wave of radio static that flowed from his chest, "Thank you, dear," The two of you stayed there together, watching as the last rays of sunshine washed over the city, leaving it in a glow that almost made it heavenly.

[darthmaulification]

all these maul x pregnant reader asks have me thinking savage x pregnant reader,,, he’s just such a softie he’d be so good at taking care of you 🥺💗

STOP PLEASE I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH 🥺🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕 my heart 😭😭

while maul would be nothing short of amazing for pregnant reader, savage on the other hand...

... listen, savage gives maul a run for his money. full stop.

okay, let’s start from the beginning. you tell savage you’re pregnant. first thing he does: gets worried. savage has a lot of duties on his plate, he’s maul’s apprentice, he has to help with mandalore, and crimson dawn, and death watch, and— “Savage, honey, there can be room for a baby, too.” you’ll have to interrupt his rambling and the moment you say “a baby” he kinda freezes because the word is really sinking in this time, and then he’s all like “... a baby.” and when he says it his whole demeanor changes.

your giant yellow husband is already a ray of sunshine, but he becomes all stars and fireworks when it finally clicks. savage literally whoops, cheering as he lifts you into his arms and hugs you, kissing your face all over. it makes you cry, because you’re happy and also pregnancy hormones, and you just let him kiss and hug you as much he wants.

“Thank you.” he rumbles against your neck, where he plants kisses and nuzzles against your skin. “Thank you.” he says, and it’s the only thing he can say.

~

savage goes 110% and the extra mile with helping you through all the not-so-pleasant aspects of pregnancy, as much as he can that is. while maul is cognizant of your and your growing baby’s needs (and excited too, he’s going to be an uncle), he still does need savage as his right hand man. so, when you do have savage with you, believe me you’re not lifting a finger.

he does everything for you, cooks, cleans, holds your hair when you’re upheaving your last three meals, rubs your back, gives you massages, fuck you senseless when you get horny for no reason, hell, savage will even bathe you when he gets the opportunity. he fully and truly pampers you, and it’ll be a tad annoying, only because he gets very... possessive over you as well, but he lets up when and if you tell him “Look, Savage, you’ve been nothing helpful, and I love you for that, but please let me go to the bathroom by myself, it’s starting to get ridiculous, big guy.”

~

as the months tick by, savage gets more and more anxious. if he wasn’t already worried before, he’s a wreck as your belly starts to swell, when your pregnancy becomes more and more noticeable. of course, he’s happy when you are, like when you first started showing and wept out of joy at your reflection in the mirror, cupping your belly. he’s happy when the baby first kicks from inside you, and when your breasts swell because he’s a simple man, and when he catches you talking to the baby, murmuring all the sweet things in the world as your stroke your belly.

believe me, he is excited and happy for the arrival of the baby, his baby, but he also worries too.

he worries about what the child will think of him, if they’d be frightened by his height, his breadth. savage worries that they’ll despise him, that he’d be a terrible father. he worries for them too, the galaxy is a dangerous place for children after all. he also...

... he also worries if he has a son.

the oppressive hierarchy on dathomir was one that savage lived under his entire life. he’s seen how nightbrothers are treated, experienced the horrors as well. and savage knows that daughters are more valuable than sons. that a girl is celebrated, and a boy is cast into the shadows, just another mouth to feed, a potential brute or breeder like all the nightbrothers are subjected to be.

savage worries that if he’s potentially given you a son, that you’d be disappointed in him. he fears that you’d cast him out, the baby too. it’s what nightsister mothers did, and still do on dathomir, and it’s hard for savage to conceptualize any other outcome.

deep deep down, he knows it’s completely irrational and entirely false, but it’s engrained in savage through trauma.

he’ll tell you this only when your far into your third trimester, when the time is right around the corner, and when he can’t wallow in his worry any further.

“I’m sorry.” he’ll say and you’ll be caught completely off guard because he just says it out of nowhere. “For what, big guy?” you ask and it concerns you to see this distant, haunted look appear on savage’s face which makes him look so so sad... scared too.

“If... If I give you a son.” and that will prompt you to go nearly ballistic because “Savage, I will love a son!” and “This isn’t Dathomir, and I am no Nightsister.” and “Savage, I love this baby more than life itself, I’m not giving up on it just because it may have a penis.” and it’ll take a bit more convincing, but once you waddle your way over to him, guiding his hand to your swollen belly, and look up at him with those eyes he loves so much, he’ll be sold. especially when you say, “We made this together, honey. A little piece of you and me and our love. There’s nothing I’d want more.”

“... Thank you.” savage would say again, like he did eight months ago when you first told him you were pregnant. and you’d just smile, all teary eyed and soft, especially when he smooths his large hand over your stomach, feeling the baby move around inside. “No, Savage, thank you.”

and he just kisses you silly.

~

(a month later, a week and a half overdue, your baby boy arrives.)

((he smiles the moment he sees savage.))

(((and there’s nothing but joy and celebration.)))

[shotorozu]

your ex is still obsessed with you

characters : togata mirio, kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto

legend : [Y/N = your name] gender neutral reader, reader has an overpowered quirk

fic type : headcanons that are kinda telling stories [fluff, kinda angsty??]

notes : self indulgent because this person that i used to talk to is still obsessed over me— even though he was the one that said we couldn’t be friends anymore, and he still talks shit about me too 🧍 it’s some serious fan behavior, if anyone does this to you— then don’t give into their bullcrap because they probably want a reaction from you.

edit : november 17, 2020 — i edited the mistakes :)

warning : signs of toxicity in relationships, it’s not severe so don’t worry :)

≿————-　❈　————-≾

togata mirio

you’ve been with this ray of sunshine for a while now

and you guys were just vibing per usual, mirio was probably discussing about your last visit with eri

and suddenly, you run into your ex!

mirio can see your facial expression scrunch up in dissatisfaction

so he could kinda connect a few dots, and conclude that it’s your ex

mirio remembers a while back, recalling that your ex cheated on you— leaving you in a sad state.

he hated seeing you that way

and he kinda has a grudge against him

but, mirio being mirio— he decides to play nice

“oh! are you Y/N’s friend?” your ex asks you, almost as if he didn’t diss you a few months back

“ah no, i’m their boyfriend :)” he says that, pulling you near to him with one strong arm— showing off his signature smile.

you don’t look at your ex in the eyes, not wanting to seem interested in him one bit

the two talk for a bit, and your ex cuts to the chase

“did Y/N bribe you into being with them?”

mirio frowns, “of course not! why?”

“oh well.. i find it hard to believe that the person you’re describing about is the Y/N i know.”

you lowkey want to punch him, however— you guys are in public. you want to be civil

but the little insult under your ex’s breath doesn’t go unmissed

“weren’t you the one that cheated on me a while back?? you make it seem like i was the spawn of the devil or something”

it catches him off guard for sure, not expecting you to be speaking back at him.

“don’t you remember Y/N, i couldn’t like you at all because of.. well— everything, and i’m surprised that you—” and that’s when mirio decides it’s time for you guys to leave

“see you next time! or never.” he says as he dashes away from your ex

you guys are back at his place, and he’s apologizing

“Y/N, i’m sorry. i tolerated that guy, and i didn’t even know he was that bad.”

you shake your head, you seemed unfazed so that’s the good part

“let’s just agree to never see him again.”

he nods happily, pulling you next to him

you guys don’t see him again, you ask mirio about this and he goes “i don’t know what you mean, Y/N :)”

kirishima eijirou

you’re walking back to your dorm after getting some ice cream near the heigh alliance

you both are surprised when you run into your ex which was totally not because he was stalking you or anything

he plays it off as a nice guy, acting like good old best friends

kirishima isn’t a himbo though, he knows exactly who this is

this is the same person that ridiculed you for struggling mentally, before you and kiri got together

kiri thinks that it’s super unmanly of him.

kirishima notices the discomfort in your body language, noticing how you shift behind him

like mirio, kirishima plays it off as nice— not wanting to be totally rude

but unlike mirio, he cuts it short so you guys can relax in your dorm

“oh and by any chance— your relationship isn’t depressing right?”

you blink, and kirishima frowns “i’m happy with Y/N,” he has his arm around your waist— a protective gesture

“oh, alright then. one last thing Y/N”

he tries to grab you with both hands, but kirishima moves quickly

“grow the fuck up Y/N, if you believe that this red bimbo actually loves you— then you’re mistaken. no one will-”

kirishima pulls you away— and runs full speed at your dorm entrance

you guys are in his room now, and you’re trying hard to not tear up

“hey Y/N, i want to apologize for that. i shouldn’t have tolerated him.”

“no eijirou- it’s fine. i can tell that you wanted to leave early.”

you hate how your ex literally left you, only for him to swoop back into your life when you’re in a stable relationship

but, kirishima won’t let you be haunted by toxicity.

he smiles at you, moments before he rushes to his closet to throw his favorite shirt onto you

he makes you forget about your ex, disinfecting your hard feelings and memories with sweet kisses

you don’t see your ex again- why? because, because.

todoroki shouto

prior to you guys getting together, he was pining after you

and he’s really heartbroken when he sees your empty expression— as he ridiculed you for something you couldn’t control

he also found out he was cheating on you, and broke the news to him

because you couldn’t be lied to by some idiot

you guys have been together for a while now, and you’ve forgotten about your ex

you guys were out getting some soba, and your grip tightens ever so slightly

which is weird because, you don’t ever grip on him— ever. just because of your quirk.

he follows where you’re looking at- and he sees your ex

he recognises the stupid bastard

your ex is calling for you now, and you actually move behind him— creating some sort of boundary

“this is your new boyfriend, huh?”

“yes.” shouto says abruptedly

unlike kiri and mirio, he does not waste time moving out of the area

because— why would he let you stay in an area you wouldn’t want to be in?

your ex doesn’t leave you alone for some reason. he grabs your arm, and you can feel your adrenaline increase

shouto glares at him, shoving his hand off of you.

“you’re holding his hand, huh?” your ex speaks, his laughter fake. shouto doesn’t reply, and he steps in front of you

“i’m not sure why someone would want a ticking bomb for a significant other— don’t you hate how they can’t always hug you?”

you can’t always give back hugs, and you can’t squeeze shouto like it was the last day on earth like how you wanted to

but, shouto is content with just— being with you. his Y/N

your ex is word vomiting, and shouto cuts him off

“Y/N does hug me, they gives me more than i need— and being with them makes me happier than i’ve been in the longest time.”

shouto then turns to you, lacing his hands against yours— before walking away

you’re in awe, and your ex is shell shocked

you guys enjoy the soba when you get back, and he makes sure to bathe you

scrubbing you clean of that guy’s touch, while having a nice conversation with him.

he showers you with kisses after you’re done, giving you as many kisses as you wish

his touchstarved self popped out

you don’t see him again, and the next time you encounter him

he’s locked in a barrier of ice :)

≿————-　❈　————-≾

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

don’t steal my work :)

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

go big or go home

this was a request from @kk2016

Hi!! could you write about being pregnant with Harry but no one knew so you guys show up to the Grammys together and everyone can see your baby bump through your dress?

here is the link to the dress you’re wearing. I have no idea if this is a good option, I’m terrible with fashion :) but I thought it was cute! If you hate it, definitely just imagine something else :)

warnings: pregnancy

word count: 2.8k

It wasn't exactly hard to hide a pregnancy during a pandemic. You barely left the house, and if you did, you weren't recognized. The one time you and Harry had been spotted, you had only been 4 months along and were wearing an oversized sweater. So it was safe to say this baby was your family's little secret.

Harry knew, of course. He had been the first person to know (after Anne and the doctor who confirmed the pregnancy). You had got around to telling the rest of your families after the first trimester was over. The "inner circle," as you liked to call it, were the few people who were aware. This consisted of your parents, Anne, Gemma, Harry's band, Jeff and Glenne. That was it. Neither of you were wild on the idea of Harry's entire fanbase knowing, so you kept it under wraps as best you could.

Which, once again, wasn't hard to do. You didn't even have to go out for groceries; they could be delivered. You could buy everything for the nursery online and have it sent directly to your front doorstep. You and Harry had stayed inside for the better part of the past seven months.

However, there was one event coming up that you absolutely refused miss out on. The Grammys. At first, Harry thought you should stay home. He was worried you would get sick, and how it might affect the baby. He was worried about his fans finding out. He was worried he wouldn't win and he would have to see your disappointed face right next to him.

Of course, you were not about to let this happen. You assured him you wouldn't get within six feet of anyone besides him. You wouldn't shake anyone's hand or hug anyone. You would wear two masks, if it would make him feel safer. You would shower in hand sanitizer. You really didn't care what you had to do; you were not going to miss this night.

"Harry, I swear to God, if you keep giving me that terrified look..."

"I'm sorry!" He exclaimed, dragging a hand over his face. "I'm allowed to be a little apprehensive. This really isn't a good idea, I think it might be best if you just stay home. I just-"

"Absolutely not," you spun around, placing your hands on your hips. "I'm going to be there, in person, so I can watch my husband become a Grammy winner."

"You can watch from here!" He argued. "Plus, that way, you don't have to walk around all night. I know your feet have been bugging you, and-"

"Don't use this pregnancy against me!" You threw your head back, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm not," he said, stepping closer and resting his hands on your belly. "I just want you to be safe. You and our little girl."

"I know," you brought up your hand to brush along his cheekbone. "And we will be. I'm not going to get close to anyone. I'm not going to touch anything. I'm going to have two masks on the entire night. Harry, there won't be anyone safer than me this whole night. I promise."

"I just..."

When he didn't finish his sentence, you leaned in to meet his eyes. "What are you really worried about?"

"Lots of things," he murmured. "Besides the literal plague? I'm worried about people finding out and being cruel. I don't want to deal with that, and I don't ever want you to be exposed to it. I'm worried something bad will happen, and it'll be all my fault for letting you come along. And... I'm worried you'll be disappointed if I don't win." His last sentence was so quiet you barely heard it, but it still made your heart ache.

"Baby..." You said quietly, your voice sad. You ignored his other two worries for now, because this one was clearly the most important to deal with. “You think I'll be disappointed in you?"

He nodded, looking at his hands on you instead of meeting your eyes. "Everything I do, it's all for you. You and her. What if it's not enough? What if I fail?"

"Harry," you kept your hands on his face, directing him to look at you. "I will never, ever be disappointed in you. You are amazing, in everything you do. Understand? I personally think you will be a three time Grammy winner at the end of the night-" he grinned at this- "But even if you're not, I will still be so incredibly proud of you. I will always, always be proud of you, and I will always love you. Okay?"

He didn't move, but you used your grip on his face to nod his head up and down. His smile grew bigger, and he grabbed your wrist gently. He turned his head to kiss your palm, sighing softly before he pulled away.

"I love you so much," he said, his voice filled with admiration. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make me feel better. You always know exactly what to say."

You shrugged with a small smile. "I'm just amazing, I think."

"I think so too."

-----

You were sitting on the couch, dressed in your normal quarantine clothing. Hoodies. Sweatpants for him, leggings for you. Why would you get dressed up for a virtual acceptance ceremony?

You bounced excitedly as they announced "Adore You" as one of the nominations for best music video. Harry smiled when you gripped his arm.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," he admitted.

"Well, you're just a ray of sunshine today," you huffed. "Here it comes!"

"And the Grammy goes to... Beyoncé, Blue Ivy, and WizKid."

You slumped back slightly, patting his arm.

He laughed lightly at your reaction. "She deserves it."

You nodded. "Not to be mean to you, but yeah, she definitely does."

-----

As the hours wore on, you could tell Harry was getting more nervous.

"It's just- it's my first performance in a while. What if it's not good?"

"Harry," you grabbed his face again. "It will be amazing. Yes?"

Again, he didn't respond. Again, you had to physically move his head up and down in a nod. Again, this made him laugh. It was a small gesture, but you could tell it helped calm him down at least a little bit.

"There's one thing we haven't talked about," he pulled away from you, going through his drawers to find his socks.

"What's that?"

"Your outfit."

You shook your head. "I already picked my dress." You pulled out the garment bag, unzipping it to show him. It was fairly simple; you didn't want to overshadow him on his big day.

He smiled. "It's beautiful."

You nodded. "We're going to look so hot together."

"Couple of the year, I think."

"We might break the internet. Seriously. You're wearing a leather jacket with no shirt and I'm pregnant. Twitter is going to explode."

He laughed again, pulling you into his arms. "Are you sure you're ok with everyone knowing? It might not be good, people's reactions can be really-"

"You do realize they will have to find out at some time, right? You can't exactly hide a child forever."

"I know," he sighed. "I just like living in our little bubble, where it's only me and you who know."

"And your mom. And Gemma. And my parents. And Sarah, and Mitch, and Adam, and Ny, and Charlotte, and Jeff and-"

"Alright, alright, you've made your point," he chuckled. "But you know what I mean."

"I do," you nodded. "And I'm ok with people knowing. Besides, it'll blow over soon. I can just stay off socials until it does."

Harry sighed again. "I wish you didn't have to. I wish people would just..."

"Treat people with kindness," you grinned. "Maybe they don't know. Maybe you should tell them to do that sometime."

He rolled his eyes playfully, pulling away from you. "You're funny."

"Hilarious, I know."

"I have to get ready," he sighed. "One last try- are you sure you don't want to stay home?"

"Not a chance," you smiled. "Now shoo so I can get dressed."

-----

His hands were shaking as he opened the door of his dressing room. You gripped his arm tighter, trying to remind him you were here for him.

"Everything's going to be ok," you said softly.

He nodded, but his hands still shook.

"I'll be right offstage, you can look at me if you get nervous," you reminded him. "This might not be the time, but I'm, like, really excited to see you perform."

"Yeah?" He gave a small smile.

You nodded. "It's been a while since I've been able to see that. And you look... very nice in this outfit."

"Very nice, huh?" He laughed. "What a compliment."

"I do have a way with words," you grinned.

"Always," he leaned his forehead against yours. "Now what was it you said earlier? Shoo, so I can get dressed."

"I'll be just offstage," you reminded him one last time, blowing him a kiss as you stepped out of the room.

-----

You couldn't take your eyes off him for the entire performance. He was worried for no reason, because he was incredible. He was born to do this, you could tell.

You cheered louder than anyone else when he finished, earning a cheeky smile from him. As soon as he could get away, he ran over to you and enveloped you in his arms.

"I told you you'd be amazing," you whispered.

He nodded, wearing the biggest smile you'd seen in days. "Couldn't have done it without you."

"I didn't do anything," you laughed.

"No, I couldn't have done it without your moral support," he clarified.

"Right, moral support," you nodded seriously before breaking into a smile again. "But really, that was amazing. You're perfect."

"That's all you, love," he returned the compliment, turning back around to watch Billie performing. He kept his arm around you, though. The camera panned to you a few times during the different performances, and you knew by this point the viewers at home had seen your bump. Your dress wasn't very tight fitting, but you were almost 8 months along. You were sure social media was exploding by now.

You didn't have to worry about that though, not yet at least. You had a few more hours of calm.

-----

Harry's nerves had apparently returned once you got to the table. His hand was gripping yours even tighter than before and his leg bounced constantly. You placed your hand on his thigh, trying to calm his frantic movements. His eyes went to yours, and you could tell he was smiling under his mask.

"It will be fine," you reminded him. "Everything will be ok. You already did the hard part, remember?"

He nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Right. And soon, we can go home, and sit on the couch, and eat ice cream."

"Exactly," you smiled. "And I can get back in my leggings and not get dressed again for the next 6 months."

He laughed at this, and his grip on your hand loosened. He still kept hold of you, but you could tell he wasn't so nervous anymore.

"Ok, shh, they're announcing it now," you said excitedly.

Harry looked down, apparently seized with nerves again.

"And the Grammy goes to... Watermelon Sugar, Harry Styles."

His eyes went wide, and your face split into a giant grin. He reached his arm out to grab yours, almost like he didn't believe what had just happened.

He pulled his mask off, standing up. He took your hand, gesturing for you to stand too, so of course you obliged. He pulled you against him, and you could feel how fast his heart was beating. When he pulled away, you smiled up at him.

"I knew you would win," you said softly, still beaming. "Now go!" You gave his shoulder a gentle push toward the stage.

"Wow, um..." He blew out a breath, looking at you before he spoke again. "To everyone who made this record with me, thank you so much. This was the first song we wrote after my first album came out, during a day off in Nashville, and I just want to say thanks to Tom, Tyler, Mitch, and everyone... Rob Stringer, and everyone at Colombia, my manager Jeffery, who has always nudged me to be better and never pushed me, thank you so much. I feel very grateful to be here, thank you. All of these songs are fucking massive, so thank you so much, I feel very honored to be here among all of you, so thank you so much. And I want to say-" he looked at you again, a smile of adoration crossing his face. "Most importantly, thank you to my wife. Y/N, I love you more than anything else on this planet, and I couldn't have done any of this without you. You make it all possible, so... thank you to the light of my life, and of course our daughter." His eyes went wide at the last sentence, like he hadn't planned to say that. He looked around nervously before he quickly made his way back to his seat.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that, it slipped out-"

You shook your head, taking his hand. "It's ok, don't worry about it," you smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

He put his mask back on, but it didn't hide the happiness on his face.

-----  

Once everything was over and you had both climbed into the car to go home, it seemed to really hit him.

"I won a Grammy," he said in disbelief, looking down at the award in his hands.

"You won a Grammy," you repeated with a big smile on your face. "Grammy winner Harry Styles."

"Yeah," he looked back up at you, his eyes still wide. "That's... insane."

You nodded. "And very impressive. And I'm so proud of you."

He smiled, scooting closer so he could put his arm around you. "Grammy winner Harry Styles... and his amazing wife."

"And their amazing daughter," you added, placing his other hand over your stomach. "Feel that? She's been kicking all night. She's excited for you."

He grinned, before his face dropped back into one of concern. "Are you sure you're ok with what I said? I really didn't mean to, I just got caught up, it-"

"Baby," you stopped him. "I promise, it's ok. Besides, everyone knew the minute I walked in there."

"Right," he nodded. "Has your phone been blowing up?"

You shrugged. "I turned it off. Should we check?"

"I'm a little nervous," he admitted.

"I'm gonna do it." You fished your phone out of your purse, eyes widening when you saw how many notifications you had. From every possible app. Congratulations texts, excited DMs, missed calls, and then there were the mentions. There were well over a hundred on your lockscreen alone.

You cleared all of them, deciding to open Twitter and see how bad it was. You were very pleasantly surprised.

"harry's daughter" was #1 on the trending page, and "harry in leather" was right behind it. Clicking on the first one, you found several GIFs of the terrified look on Harry's face when he accidentally made the announcement. You smiled, but scrolled further. Hundreds of fans were typing in all caps, apparently very excited that Harry was going to be a father.

"You're right, we broke the internet," he grinned, looking through his own timeline. "I've seen my bare chest more in the last five minutes than my entire life before this."

"What a power couple we are," you laughed. "We got the top two trending spots."

"What an accomplishment," he joked.

You scrolled for a few more minutes, still yet to see a negative message. "You were worried for nothing, babe. They're all very excited for us."

"I see that," he grinned. "They've also named our baby for us, and somehow know her zodiac sign."

"Oh, wonderful," you laughed. "But really, it could have been worse."

"Definitely," he nodded. "Well, that's one way to announce a pregnancy. On live TV in front of the entire nation."

"Yeah, you know, go big or go home."

"Exactly."

Closing Twitter, you moved on to Instagram. You gasped when you saw the first picture on your feed. "Sarah posted her bump! Now we can be baby buddies in public, not just in secret."

Harry smiled, turning off his phone and pulling you closer to him.

"omg, baby buddies :)" you commented. Within seconds, Sarah had liked the comment and replied with "they will be best friends😊"

With that, you turned off your own device and leaned into his side. "What a good night. Aren't you glad I came with you?"

"I am," he admitted. "Very glad. Thanks for being stubborn."

"Always."

[amor-immortalem]

You’re Important to Me part 4

Part 1 | part 2| part 3

Genre: angst/comfort

———————————————————————-

Chat: Troublemaker (affectionate)

Lucifer: Come home immediately. We need to talk.

Mammon: bout what? If its one of your shitty punishments. Think I’ll pass.

Lucifer rested his head on his desk letting out a groan. The second-born was frustrating him to no end. However, the first-born supposes he’s made him this way from everything he’s put him through. Picking up the pill bottle, he rolled it in his hand and watched as the contents slid from one side to the other. He placed them in a locked door in his desk as he thought about how they had been this close to losing yet another sibling.

A soft rapping on the office door pulled his attention back to the present.

“Enter,” he sat up straight as the guest joined him. It was Levi.

“Do you think Mammon still loves us. I-I’ve really been thinking about what’s been going on….. about our family. What if he leaves us? We lost Lilith. I-I don’t want to lose him too…” The Avatar of Envy’s voice quaked. Back when they were angels they were once close- almost even closer than the twins.

“I’m sure he does, Levi.” His response was hollow words. If Lucifer was being honest, he didn’t really know how Mammon felt about them currently. If he were the one in Mammon’s shoes, he would absolutely despise his brothers.“He’s currently refusing to come home, however. It’s likely that he knows what went on today and that’s why he broke up with the human we all know he cherishes so deeply. He didn’t want us to know.”

“I knew it! He hates us and never wants to see our faces again.”

“Leviathan, I never said that.” Lucifer’s voice was stern. “Please calm down before you throw yourself into a panic attack. He has to come home eventually, and we’ll all talk then- if not tonight then definitely tomorrow morning. For now, maybe you should go play one of your games. If you’d like I could join you to help take your mind off this whole debacle.”

Levi nodded his head slowly. “ I would appreciate that….. Actually, I had made this rpg specifically to play-test with Mammon but if you wanted to….we could play it together.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Levi.”

Finally deciding to make his way home, Mammon pushed open the heavy doors to the house. The last thing he wanted to do was face his brothers right now. He already anticipated their reactions. The teasing and mocking that would be thrown his way- there wasn’t any escape for him now, was there? At least no one was here at the moment- that much he could be greatful for.

As he made his way up to his room, the demon made sure to avoid the places he knew his brothers would frequent at this time of night. Once there, he slipped inside and tossed the bag of clothes he had modeled in today from the top of of the stairs into the walk in closet with practiced precision. When he turned his head, he saw her small, blurry form just lying there on the couch.

“Why’re you in here? Ya got a room if your own dontcha?”

“I just….. sorry. I pushed too hard, didn’t I?” Arella’s voice sounded hurt. “It was just that I thought this might be the only place I could go and you’re brothers wouldn’t come looking for me. I’m still really angry with them. Not that they would anyway, not with how I screamed and yelled at them earlier...”

“And Lucifer didn’t kill ya on the spot? Its a miracle you’re alive after that.” He let out a chuckle. “I can’t tell if you’re incredibly brave or just plain dumb.”

“Maybe both…..” Arella sighed, “I… um… I’ll go back to my room now.” As she stood and made her up the staircase, he could feel the sadness radiating off of their pact mark.

“‘Rella, wait.” He grabbed her by the arm. “Don’t go. I don’t mind if ya stay…. We should talk about earlier, okay?”

He watched as she nodded a small frown on her face. Now that he could see her more clearly, he noticed the puffy eyes and tear tacks streaked down her cheeks. Now he just felt worse.

“I was thinkin’ real hard about this morning and I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” He started, “I don’t… I don’t really think we should break up…. I know you were just trying to help. That you were worried and scared for me.”

“I was…. Can I tell you something?“ she asks as he nods. “Seven years ago, I lost my little brother and then six months later my mother to suicide. One to cyber bullying, the other because she was so consumed with grief from the loss of a child that she saw no way to go on…. Do you know what was like….. to find their bodies? To realize you could have helped them if you had just paid attention and seen the warning signs? It still affects me to this day….They were the only blood related family I had left until I had found a new family here in the Devildom with you and your brothers. A-and then when you were saying all those things last night, I- I flashed back to the night I had found my brother but instead of him it was you and I-I-”

Mammon pulled the human tight against his chest in what could have been a bone crushing hug if he wasn’t careful and she buried her face in his chest. Her body shook with with muffled sobs.

“I’m sorry. I was running my mouth without thinking ‘bout what that might do to everyone- worst of all you….” He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I wont say things like that ever again. No matter how I’m feelin’.

He walked her back towards the bed, letting her get in as he went to go change into some more comfortable clothes for sleeping. He joined her in bed shortly after, pulling her close as he wiped the stray tears from his cheeks. Arella moved closer so she could lay her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat, her crying reduce to quiet sniffles and hiccups by this point.

“Ya know, I think you just wasted your breath when you were yellin’ at my brothers earlier…. I think to them, I’ll just always be the family screw up. I’m already dreading the teasing I’ll get tomorrow at breakfast….”

“It had to be done, though. I think I managed to set them all straight….If you could have seen the look on their faces when I lost control of my temper and fried all the electronics in the common room or when I commanded Asmo to sit so hard he crashed face first into the floor….”

“Wait…you did what?” He quirked an eyebrow as he stared down at her before breaking into a soft laugh, “Ya really are something else, Hon, ya know that? I’ve never met someone who would fight for me like this before- who would call my brothers out on their bullshit.”

“Only because I know you don’t deserve to be treated this way…. You… you deserve good things and to be treated well by the people who you love most.” She yawned as she stretched out a little more in his embrace. “And because I love you and I would be lost if anything were to happen to you.” Her eyes were starting to slip closed.

“I love you too, babe.” The demon hummed as he started to card his fingers through her hair. As soon as he was sure she was out like a light he pressed his lips to the crown of her heard once more.

“Thank you for being here on my worst days, for being my little ray of sunshine down here in the dark.”

Once the morning came around, most of Mammon’s brothers gathered in the common room. They were awaiting the entrance of the Avatar of Greed as it was nearly breakfast time.

Lucifer had figured Mammon would be avoiding them as if they had the plague, so he instructed Beel to drag him in here by any means necessary. They all knew he was successful when they heard Mammon let out a surprised yelp and the clattering of a bowl against the floor.

“C’mon, Beel, Let me go!”

“Not until we all talk.”

“Talk? What’s there to talk about? I didn’t do nothin’ so let me go!’

Both demons soon entered the dining room as the sixth-born sat his older on the couch facing all of them, holding him down by his shoulders so Mammon couldn’t escape despite how he squirmed and tried to wiggle his way out of Beel’s grasp.

“Mammon, stop struggling.” It was a request from eldest, a chance to cooperate. “We all have some words we’d like to say to you.”

Mammon froze at that statement. Here it came: all the ridicule and teasing. He wanted to run. He was the second strongest of them, maybe if he tried hard enough, he could shake his little brother off and get away. What good would that do him though? His brothers would just corner him later anyway so maybe it was just best to get it over with now.

He looked towards his brothers’ blurry figures, a million different thoughts rushing his head. He couldn’t tell their expressions from this distance but they had to be smiling, right- ready to laugh at him any minute now. His body tensed as he braced himself for the harsh sting of their words.

“Mammon, we’re sorry,” Asmo was the first to speak up after a short moment of silence, “We love you so much even though we suck at showing it.”

“You did so much for us after we fell,- you still do a lot for us even now,” the seventh-born picked his head up from the table,“And I don’t think we ever told you how much we all appreciate it…. If it weren’t for you, I don’t even think we would still be a family… don’t forget, you’re the one who kept us all in line when Lucifer would lock himself away in his office back then.”

“I know we act like you’re just a burden to us,” Satan started, “but I think all of us would agree that life would be so boring without you here.”

“Yeah, I-I mean who else would take the time to play games with me when I’m down in the dumps?” Levi asked.

“Or risk getting strung up from the chandelier to get me the food that I want from the human world?” Beel cut in.

“Or compliment me on my outfit or hair no matter what form I choose to take for the day. Or is always there to hype me up when I’m having a bad day? Hell, you even gave up the position of DevilStyle’s cover model just for me! Honestly I think you might be the best big brother out there.”

“We know about all the things you’ve done in secret for us- the things you don’t take credit for,” Lucifer smiled softly, “I’m proud to call you my brother for that. We love you and while you may make some poor life choices from time to time, our lives just wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Mammon looks at them in a daze. Was this really happening? His brothers were…. Apologizing? To him of all people? This had to be a dream. There was no reality in which his brothers really cared about him. The second-born pinched the skin on his arm. That’s what you did to check if you were dreaming, right?

Harder, harder he pinched until the spot was sure to bruise. It wasn’t until Beelzebub placed his hand over his that Mammon realized he wasn’t dreaming. This was reality.

Tears welled in his eyes as he processed the words he just heard. One tear fell down his cheek soon followed by another then another until eventually the demon let out a sob.

“Th-This ain’t real! It ain’t!” The second-born yelled, his body shaking as he sobbed harder. “I’m still dreamin’. I-I gotta be! None of this is real…”

His brothers moved to embrace him- first the sixth-born, then the eldest and then the youngest. One by one, the rest of their brothers followed suit until the seven of them all somehow managed to end up on the floor in one giant cuddle pile, his face pressed into Lucifers as they allowed their brother to cry out all the tears he’d been bottling up for all these centuries.

It seemed they were going to be there a while- Good thing Lucifer had called Diavolo to tell him they wouldn’t be attending RAD today. That this was a more important matter to attend to.

“This stops today, Lucifer announced to his siblings once Mammon had stopped crying. “From today on, the six of us will make a conscious effort to change the ways we’ve talk to and treated you.”

“And if we get too out of hand, feel free to put us in our place,” Belphegor chuckled. “We can be blockheads from time to time.”

“The point is,” Asmodeus sighed as he hugged his brother a little tighter, “We all messed up big time. We just want to make you feel loved and appreciated again- like you’re an important part of this family.”

“We lost Lilith.” It was Beel’s turn to speak. “We’re not losing you too.”

Mammon smiled at his brothers’ words. Finally, he had thought, finally they were showing their true feelings to him after all these centuries.

“Thanks guys…..” the demon’s voice sounded cracked and strained from all the crying he had done earlier. “Even after everything that’s happened I wouldn’t trade y’all for the world. I love you guys.”

A chorus of ‘I love you too’s sounded from the group of demons as another family hug commenced. Eventually, as hours passed, one by one, they had all fallen asleep, each with a smile on their face and still huddled together.

Arella eventually found them in that state. With a soft smile she grabbed the blanket they often used for movie night and draped it over them heading back to her room so she wouldn’t disturb them.

———————————————————————-

Taglist: @gallantys

Masterlist 2

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter two

Chapter Two

summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers

word count: 6k

a/n: this is set May 2021 in my brain just in case anyone was wondering while reading it !! here is the pinterest board and the spotify playlist for the fic too!

from the beginning <3

They were sitting on the steps of the Smithsonian when he arrived. Y/N was a vision in a yellow blouse and blue jeans, basking in the sun's rays when she looked more like sunshine herself, throwing seed at the birds with Amoreena.

He took a deep breath and smiled, waving to get their attention.

“Spencer!” Amoreena cheered, running down the steps and into his arms. Almost knocking her hat off as she leapt into his arms.

“Oof,” is all he can say as he makes sure to catch her, surprised to get this sort of reaction from someone.

She fixes her hat and leans back in his arms, “do you like my outfit? I’m the old man from Tarzan and mom is Jane!”

He sets her down then, watching her stick a foot out so he can get a good look at her olive-coloured jean shorts, button-up shirt and blue bowtie and brown boots. She went all out for her adventure today, making his heart burst.

“I looked into that Milo guy,” he says, showing off his own outfit. Pushing his glasses up and adjusting his red bowtie.

“You look just like him!!!” She was beyond excited, turning to Y/N who was all smiles on the steps.

She stood as they walked towards her, “mom look, he’s Milo!”

“You look great,” she complimented him, that twinkle in her eyes back as she blushed.

“Thank you, so do you,” he said softly. “Both of you are dressed for the right adventure today.”

“What do you have in store Mr. tour guide?” Y/N teased, taking Amoreena’s hand and walking into the museum.

“Dr. Tour guide,” he corrects her softly, making her smile and shove him lightly.

“Sorry,” she teased him, “Doctor tour guide, what is your plan for today?”

“I bought 3 tickets ahead of time,” Spencer admits, taking three lanyards out of his jacket pocket and handing them each one. “We have special access today, just show the guards these and we can go almost anywhere.”

“Are you sure you don’t work here? Not even undercover?” Amoreena interrogated him, narrowing her eyes as she watched his response.

He laughed, “I promise, I helped them on a case once, and my old boss knows the curator, they owed me a favour.”

“Old boss?” Y/N catches it.

He nods lightly, “he quit a while ago to have a family.”

“Smart man.”

“I sent in my letter of resignation last night,” he adds, “if you’re still looking for a literary historian?”

She beamed at him, reaching out an arm to tuck under his and pull him in close. Following him through the doors with Amoreena’s hand still in hers. “I’ll arrange an interview this week.”

The rotunda was one of the coolest parts of the Smithsonian Museum of National History. A beautiful African Bush Elephant greets them in the centre, tusks extending out towards them as Amoreena gasps.

“Wow,” her small voice whispers.

“Cool, huh?” Spencer leans to look at her expression, she’s absolutely gobsmacked.

It makes him smile, that beautiful glimmer of amazement spreading across her face as her small brain tries to understand what exists in the world outside of her mind's grasp. It was priceless, he loved every moment.

“So, I was thinking you could look around and whenever you’re ready, we have access to the Student Centre. You’re going to get to look at some special bones and fossils, and even dig some up!” He was so excited to share the plans with her.

She let go of her mom's hand to flap her arms wildly, excitement coursing through her veins as she shook, grinding her teeth together as she smiled, it was how he remembered feeling as a child when something good happened. Pure joy, excitement level 1000.

“Sound good?”

“Spencer,” Y/N placed her hand on his shoulder, taking over for the speechless child, “that sounds perfect, thank you.”

“The Dino’s are this way,” he leads them down the corridor, through a set of doors towards a large swirling sign,

“Journey through deep time!” Y/N read the sign, smiling at Amoreena as she ran towards it, touching the swirl as she read all the words to herself.

“It’s so sad they died,” Amoreena says so matter of factly that it makes him bite back a smile.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a small laugh. Y/N's shaking her head with a sigh of pure love. “What kind of dinosaur is your favourite?”

“The Jurassic era,” she responds, standing closer to the sign and reading all the words. “Did you know the earth used to be mostly desert? There was a massive heatwave, that’s why they believe dinosaurs were most likely scaled but thanks to the melting ice caps as we recover from the ice age and move back towards being tropical, we’re discovering dinosaurs frozen in ice with feathers and fur!”

It takes his breath away, seeing someone so much like him with a mother who loves every single word that leaves her mouth. Pride on her face as she looks at her little genius and back towards Spencer, waiting for his response.

“So you’ve been a paleontologist this whole time and you never told me?”

She laughs and swats the air, “no, I just read a lot of books.”

“She can read really fast, like Matilda,” Y/N bragged.

“I do too,” Spencer knelled down in front of her. “It’s a very wonderful thing to have a brain as big and magical as ours, never let anyone tell you otherwise okay?”

“Never, I’m the smartest in the kingdom,” Amoreena smiled.

“Yes, she is,” Y/N smiled again, placing her hand on Spencer's back as they continued to walk around the exhibits.

He felt like he had a family, like one of those couples who would go to Ikea and pretend they lived in the sets. This was the most perfect make-believe day of his life, leading a child just like him through a world of things she loved.

Y/N was quiet most of the day, watching them interact with a soft smile and sad eyes. Spencer noticed it but let it slide, he’d ask her about it later when she could be honest with him. He didn’t want to profile her, it wasn’t fair to judge her before he knew her, nor taint the fantastical thoughts he already had about her.

They had lunch in the butterfly exhibit, sitting at the seat by the fountain, Amoreena asking nicely if Spencer could sit in the middle so they could both talk to him. It was adorable, Amoreena was so intrigued by his mind she couldn’t stop asking him questions.

Y/N made him a sandwich and brought him a water bottle, as well as bringing some apple slices and grapes, goldfish and juice boxes for when Amoreena got hungry on the way home. Like a true mom, her purse was full of napkins and hair ties, random books and toys. Rocks, pine cones, everything a young mind would find exciting.

She was like Marry Poppins, pulling everything and then some out of her purse as she searched for something specific. “I brought you something, I’ve had it sitting around the house just moving it to different spots over the years, and thought you’d like it.”

It made him giddy to know she was thinking about him, he couldn’t sit still as he anticipated what it was. She pulled a small metal pin out of her bag then, taking the backing off and clipping it to his pocket.

“Best tour guide ever,” she whispered, reading the words to him with a smile.

“We haven’t even gotten to the best part yet,” he shrugged, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach as they were swarmed by the beautiful creatures.

“It’s like animal crossing in here,” Amoreena said to herself as she looked around, kicking her feet as she sat on the bench, tilting her head back and forth absentmindedly as she took it all in.

He wasn’t sure when he stopped doing that; when he started to mask his true self so much that he no longer felt free in public, taking a moment to copy her movements and just enjoy the moment. Making her smile as she noticed him copy her with adoration, not to tease her in any way whatsoever.

“Can we talk when she’s looking at the fossils?” He asks Y/N softly, knowing that she’ll be the most open when Amoreena’s tiny ears wouldn’t be there to remember everything she says.

“Yeah,” she nods with a small smile. “How about I throw out our garbage and we head to that surprise?”

Amoreena jumped off the bench, tugging Spencer towards the door as Y/N cleaned up, following them eventually.

—

They had the classroom all to themselves and Amoreena was still for the first time all day. Standing in the middle of the room as the lights adjusted, changing the glow from blue to amber as they warmed.

The walls were filled with posters and informative signs, there were glass cases showcasing all the finest fossils and bones known to man. And a sand table in the middle of the room, smocks and brushes for archaeology all set up and waiting for her.

“Once you get all suited up, and we’ll get you a little mask so you don’t breathe in any of the dirt and dust, you can dig up whatever is hidden in there!” Spencer announced.

Y/N helped her into a smock, handing her the brushes and asking her to be extra careful with the plastic chisel and hammer. She was beaming from ear to ear the most toothy smile he’s ever seen.

Y/N stopped to take a photo of her then, holding her instruments in front of the sand table, “get in, we’ll tell everyone that Milo took us on a special tour today.”

Spencer kneeled close to Amoreena, she leaned in and wrapped an arm around him to get him in closer, always being the one to choose how much contact she made with Spencer. He would never want to overstep with someone else’s child.

“Beautiful!” Y/N cheered, locking her phone and slipping it back into her jeans as Amoreena turned to the table of sand, dirt and clay.

She got right to work, not skipping a beat as she leaned in and started to dig. Spencer stepped back with Y/N, knowing Amoreena was going to be in her own little world for as long as they left her alone.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m great, I’m just a little surprised,” her voice is soft, low enough that it stays with him. “You’re really good with her for a fed.”

He laughed, nodding his head as he registered her joke. “Ex fed, and I have a 12-year-old godson, Henry.”

“Ahh, so no kids of your own?” Her voice was small, she took a look at his hand to avoid eye contact and he understood.

“None, no wife, no love children hiding out there in the world that I know of, it’s just me, I promise,” he tried his best to ease her anxiety about introducing a new man into her child’s life.

She nods slightly, “you seem too good to be true sometimes.”

He huffed out a small laugh, pressing his lips together as he looked at her, “pretty sure I’ve been dreaming since I saw you.”

She shoved him as she laughed, “would you like to come back to our place for dinner? I know it’s a little weird, believe me, I know, but we live on my parent's land and my mom’s making enough shepherds pie to feed an army.”

“Yeah I’d love to, I’ll get a cab home after,” he felt a swirling in his stomach, nervous and excited all at once.

“Okay,” she whispered, “or we can get to know each other, and then you could sleep on the couch and I’ll bring you back into DC in the morning? I have to drive in any way.”

He licked his lips and nodded his head, wondering what other kind of invitation this could be. If it was pure hospitality, wanting him to be safe for the night instead of inside some stranger's car, or was she wanting alone time with him.

The thoughts turned around in his head over and over making him dizzy, “okay, yeah I’d love to,” he managed to slip the words out without falling over them.

She smiled, tight-lipped and small. Looking up at him with a new look he hasn’t seen on her yet, one he’s only seen in a few faces in his time, and yet he believed her’s the most.

She was smitten with him as much as he was with her.

He sighed, smiling back at her just as soft. She reached her hand out to hold his, walking towards the table with him in tow. Leaning over Amoreena’s shoulder as she unearthed her new most prized possessions.

—

Amoreena was the funniest kid to drive with, He sat in the passenger seat of Y/N’s car with her in a car seat directly behind him. She was singing, cheering, pointing out the window to show him all her favourite things on the way to her house.

Telling him stories about the make-believe people she created to live in the houses, the trolls under bridges and the names of every cow in the field along the long driveway of her grandparent's farm.

“Bob and Linda are an interesting pair,” she warned him as they pulled in closer and closer. Dirt flying up behind the wheels as she drove fast, knowing every bump and turn from memory.

“They will be asking you every question in the book and if you’re going to be looking at the animals they will insist on putting you in flannel and a cowboy hat, it’s a tradition for visitors,” she explained it in a way where he knew she wanted him to think she hated it, but actually she looked excited to do it to him.

“I can’t wait,” he smiled.

“Amoreena has already told them all about you at dinner last night, so they are expecting her to drag you here tonight,” she pushed the blame onto Amoreena, downplaying her affection for him in a self-conscious way he could feel.

He didn’t want to profile her, but it wouldn’t turn off. He was desperate to know her more, to know if she felt the weird tugging in her heart that made him think soulmates might be real. A pain so intense that if he had to explain it to a doctor, it was like his heart was a negative charge and he was being drawn to her much more positive one.

“We have 16 cats, 46 cows, 13 chickens, 4 ducks, 50 sheep and 1 horse, her name is buttercup,” Amoreena informed him, stealing the attention once again.

“Wow, who’s your favourite?” Spencer turned to her, watching her kick her feet as she looked out the windows.

“Probably Alfonzo our fluffy show cow, or Rufus, our dog,” she said softly. “Sometimes nanny lets him sleep at our house.”

“That’s so cool, I’ve never had a pet.”

“What?!” Amoreena stopped, pressing her lips together as her eyes shot wide open, thinking it was the most absurd thing anyone has ever said.

“My mom was sick when I was growing up so I spent my time taking care of her, I didn’t have time for a dog,” he said softly, saying it in a way that wouldn’t scare her.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N said softly, reaching her hand out to pat his knee as she kept her eyes on the road.

Then she was pulling in past a big house, around the bend behind it, past the garden and the trail to the barn towards another house. It was big and white, probably big enough to have 4 bedrooms. Many levels, with multiple build-ons from years ago ageing to match eventually.

It was covered in vines, ivy and flowers. It was just like miss honeys. He felt something unspeakable, opening his mouth softly to breathe as his eyes trailed up the siding to the shingles.

He couldn’t believe it.

“Home sweet home,” her wonderful voice brought him back to reality. Saying the word that matched the feeling in his chest.

“Wow,” he whispered. His mouth moved to say words, not a single one slipped through the cracks, his lips touching with fake syllables as he stared at it.

“It was my grandma’s, it’s the house she raised my dad in,” Y/N explained as she put the car in park.

“Mommy had me as a gift for GG,” Amoreena added from the back.

“Her great-grandma,” Y/N nodded with a soft smile, biting the inside of her lip as she fought her feelings. That was a touchy subject that he was going to pry into, later on, wanting to know every single thing about the most exceptional women in the world.

There was a cat sitting on their front step, introduced to him as toothpick because he was the smallest in the last litter. And then the name of every single cat on the way back up to the main house.

Simon and Gar-funk-field twin orange brothers, Alaska the all-white one, strawberry shortcake had a red heart on her butt, oven-mitt for comedic effect obviously as if they others weren’t funny enough, as well as shovel and Catrina… all 16 of them had a name and Spencer was not going to forget a single one.

“Welcome! You must be Doctor Reid,” her father was a very large man, it shocked Spencer slightly.

He was like Santa Clause, it was more than a bit of a shock. Thick grey beard, bald head, red flannel and dirty work jeans, probably in his late 60’s. He was what you imagined Santa to look like outside of Christmas, on holiday with his wife.

He looked like a man who lived a long and happy life, he had a wife who cooked good meals for him, he probably didn’t mind sitting back with a beer most nights. There was definitely going to be sports memorabilia inside and a million photos of Y/N and Amoreena, and the purest energy known to man. Family love.

He hated how fast he profiled it all in his mind, trying to drop that aspect of his inner monologue moving forward.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Sir,” he said softly, nodding lightly as he placed his hands in his pockets. Letting it be known he didn’t touch people, and weirdly being respected.

“Please, it’s Bob or Poppy Clause,” he laughed, shifting his attention to Amoreena as she climbed the stairs towards the porch.

“How is my lovey?” Bob asked her softly, “may I have a welcome home hug?”

“Ah,” he smiled and nodded to himself. He was used to it, asking permission for her sensory issues. Spencer was impressed, and a bit emotional at the fact someone his age was respecting a way of life many didn’t care to understand.

Amoreena gave him a hug, throwing herself into his arms, “no beard tickles,” she instructed, holding onto his shoulders as he kept his face away from her.

Y/N placed her hand on Spencers back, “I told you they were a lot, my mom is worse.”

“I feel very comfortable here, don’t worry,” he assured her.

“I should worry,” she laughed, “you’re one of them, oh god.”

“One of who?”

She tilted her head at him, shaking her head, “eccentric, full of life, bursting with weirdness that would probably be a strange purple goo if I could see it.”

He pressed his lips together as he thought about it, nodding softly in agreement. “There is nothing wrong with that, it just means I’m having fun and living my best life from now on.”

“Welcome to the family,” Bob added, a simple saying that invoked a feeling of pride he long yearned for.

—

Dinner was lovely, he’s never had shepherd’s pie before. Learning it was ground beef, beans and potato casserole, and somehow there was also corn in there… he wasn’t sure why it was so delicious but he enjoyed it a lot.

It might have simply been the ambiance that made it so good.

Her mother was the sweetest woman, she made everything from scratch. Including bread that he was obsessed with and a pie for dessert, she was overjoyed to have an expected yet unexpected guest.

Knowing there was a possibility he’d come, but not setting a place for him at the table unless he showed. She wrapped him up in a big hug when he arrived as well as after dinner when he helped her move the plates to the sink.

Her dad offered him a beer after dinner, taking him to the front porch to talk while the ladies cleaned up for the night. Amoreena had a strict bedtime routine to stick to, and it wasn’t his place to witness nor get in the way.

“So,” her dad started the interrogation easily. “I’m sure you wouldn’t be here if Y/N didn’t trust you. And she doesn’t trust many people.”

“I can promise you I’ll never hurt either of them,” he said with the utmost confidence. “It’s been two days and they’ve brought me more joy than I can explain, and I’m never going to take that for granted.”

“Good answer,” he smiled. “Now, farmhouse rules are as follows; you can roam where ever you please, just ask permission before using any equipment, we’re more of a petting zoo than a farm now so the animals are overly friendly, try and keep them inside the gates.”

He was a bit flustered, computing the fact that he just trusted him like that. Maybe he was Santa Clause, making a list and checking it twice, and Spencer happened to cross off every box to land him on the nice one.

“Sounds good,” he smiled. “Thank you.”

“Believe me, sonny, I know what it’s like to want to impress the old man, but it’s all about Amoreena,” Bob warned him. “If she loves you then so will Y/N, and she falls fast.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m the same way.”

“That’s what Y/N was saying, I think it’ll be good for Amoreena to know someone like her, we try our best to get her out there and making friends, she’s smart enough to move up some grades but she’s a kid, y’know?” Her father basically describing his own childhood back to him.

“I graduated high school at 13,” he presses his lips together, hoping it doesn’t come off as a brag. Taking a sip of his beer to take the edge off how awkward he felt.

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” he smiled at Bob, who was smiling right back, “it led me here.”

Bob hummed in response, taking a sip as well as he sat back in his rocking chair, watching over the cows in the field as the sun began to set. It was picture perfect, unbelievable.

Wet feet on the hardwood floor caught his attention then, Amoreena was in her PJ’s as she ran towards the door. Putting on her rubber boots and swinging open the screen door.

Her hair was wet, falling into her eyes as she pushed it out of the way, “are you joining the parade and dance party?”

He acted like he knew what that meant, “sure?”

“Yes!” She cheered, “hurry up mom!!”

Y/N walked down the steps slowly, shaking her head as she laughed. “You are so impatient, the animals aren’t going anywhere.”

“No, but Spencer will!”

It made his heartache, the thought of leaving.

“Come on,” she slipped back into her shoes and joined them on the porch. “Off we go, see you later dad.”

“Be good, make wise choices,” he teased her.

“Okay old fart, sleep well,” they had a friendship that was admirable.

Spencer followed with glee as Amoreena said goodnight to all the animals, parading down the path towards their house as she made sure to talk to everything on the way there.

“Every night we pick 2 songs to dance to, it gets all the sillies out and rewards us for a day well spent so we can bless our bodies with a good sleep,” Y/N explains as she unlocks the front door.

A cottage full of books in the middle of the woods, that dream he always had, coming true as she ushered him inside. The smell of coffee drifting towards him as he noticed the brown candle on the mantle surrounded by photos of Y/N and her family.

She placed her keys beside it, kicking off her shoes and making sure Amoreena did the same. In the living room, she connected her phone to a set of speakers, letting the little one pick out 2 songs, queueing them up to play as she bounced with anticipation.

“Tonight’s selection is today was a fairytale by miss Swift, and Anne Hathaway’s cover of somebody to love, form the cinematic masterpiece that is Ella Enchanted,” Y/N announced like she was hosting the grammies, pretending her phone was the mic before hitting play.

He knew somebody to love, the Elton John version, it was a song that Penelope and Emily sang at karaoke when they reached 11 shots each, so not very often. But enough to have him remember the words, singing along with them as they danced.

It was a better workout than Derek had ever put him through, they held hands and jumped around, he twirled Amoreena around, pretending to do the tango with Y/N. Waving their arms in the air, it was the most carefree he has been in ages.

The songs fit the situation more perfectly than any of them seem to realize, he’s falling head over heels in love with this family that he met yesterday. Something in him saying that he needs to stay, that this is where he was supposed to be.

Getting Amoreena into bed was more difficult than Y/N imagined, she didn’t want to stop talking to Spencer. Only finally agreeing to sleep when she learned he would still be there for breakfast in the morning.

“Can you read me a book from your brain?” Her sleep-deprived eyes blinked as she asked him softly.

He looked at Y/N from the doorway, she nodded, patting the bed for Spencer to sit on the edge.

“Any book?”

“Any book.”

“Bedtime for baby star,” he says softly. Remembering all the late night’s he’s heard JJ whisper it on the back of the plane, in the corner of a police precinct in the middle of nowhere, in a twin bed beside his as they shared a hotel room.

“Once there was a baby star, she lived up by the sun. And every night at bedtime, that baby star wanted to have some fun,” he recited the words in an exciting tone, just low enough to soothe her into sleep. “She would sine and sine and fall and shoot and twinkle, oh so bright, and she said ‘Mommy! I’ll run away if you make me say goodnight.’”

Y/N looked at her with a fake stern look, leaning in enough to rub their noses together. “And then her mommy kissed her sparkly nose and said, no matter where you go,”

Y/N kissed her on the nose, “no matter where you go,” she repeated.

“No matter where you are, no matter how big you grow and even if you stray far,” to which Y/N repeated. “I’ll love you forever because you’ll always be my baby star.”

“Goodnight my sweet Amoreena,” Y/N kissed her head softly and stood, Spencer, joined her by the door.

“Can I have a hug?” She asked him softly, he looked at Y/N for approval once again.

She placed a hand on his back as she nodded, watching him lean in and hold Amoreena softly, “goodnight, I had a fun day today.”

“See you tomorrow,” she smiled, closing her eyes for the night.

Y/N replaced her lamp light with a night light, closing the door on the way out of her room as she blew a kiss towards her baby, “love you.”

“Love you more,” Amoreena whispered back.

Spencer was nothing but smiles in the hall as she looked at him, “I’m going to pour myself some wine and sit in the garden, are you interested?”

“Ecstatic actually,” he replied, following her towards the kitchen and letting her pour him a glass.

Behind her house, she had an overgrown garden, every area of her life had a reference to a book somewhere, a story someone else told that she’s now claimed as her own. Living in the world she always wanted, inviting Spencer to stay a while.

She let out a deep sigh as she sat down on the outdoor couch beside him, dropping her head on his shoulder softly, it was more contact than he was expecting. She had barely touched him.

“You should know that I like you a lot,” Spencer spoke softly. “I don’t want you to think I’m just some creep trying to get close to you and your kid, I genuinely think you’re wonderful and Amoreena is magnificent.”

“I trust you, I googled you and everything, don’t worry,” she laughs. “I wouldn’t invite you to the museum and let you give my kid a hug without doing research.”

“Not everything is on there you know.”

“I think you are very wonderful as well,” she said softly, “but I know it’s just the fact that you’re so darn cute that’s making me feel like I should drop everything and invite you into our life.”

“I understand,” he replied. Waiting for her to tell him that this was the last time she’d see him, it was inevitable at this point in his life. Nothing good lasted for long.

“So I need you to know all about me and I need to know all about you before you decide you want to stay because I can’t handle bringing you into Amoreena’s life for you to just leave her,” another deflection.

“You might want to hear mine first before you decide if you want me to stay around her,” it sounded scarier than he planned.

“Alright then, you go first,” she insisted with a small smile, eyes darting past him towards the cows in the field. Not ready to be vulnerable with him.

“I worked with the FBI for 15 years, I’ve helped catch some of the worst people in America, and some of them have vendetta’s against me. As far fetched and insane as that sounds,” he pre-warned her, watching her face drop as she understood the weight of his words.

“I have been framed and sent to prison for three months, I was kidnaped, tortured, drugged, and assaulted, not to mention shot a few times. I have more trauma than you can imagine. So that’s something you have to consider in a future with me,” he whispered so she wouldn’t hear how ashamed he was of himself.

“And the fact know that I can’t always keep myself or you safe, no matter how far disconnected I am from the FBI. It doesn’t matter if I change my name and hide here for the rest of my life off the grid. There are some fucked up minds out there that don’t want to let me experience true happiness. But in all honesty,” he finally stops his long-winded rant. He bites his bottom lip as if he is holding back someone worse than all the things he just said.

“I’m willing to die tomorrow if it means my last day on earth was this fucking perfect.” Tears welled in his eyes, “I am so tired.”

“It’s okay to cry, I would be too,” she says softly, a frog in her throat as she nodded. Tears welling in her eyes as her face scrunched.

He blinked and a tear escaped, slipping down his cheek and being swiped off by her thumb in an instant. She kept her hand on his cheek softly, he leaned into it.

“I’ve been running for so long,” he whispers because then the words don’t really exist. They’re secrets only for her to hear and then they’re gone. “I was basically groomed for the FBI, I was their personal computer and they didn’t give a single shit about the wear and tear on me.”

He started to sob. She cradled his head against her chest in one swift motion, holding him close and rubbing his back. Shushing him softly as he cried into her shoulder.

“You know that Katy Perry song?” she changed the subject as he calmed down, understanding his pain and accepting his warnings, but continuing down the path anyway.

“Summer after high school when we first met,” she sang like an angel. “It was like that, I thought I met the love of my life after I graduated, we got engaged a year later, then he died in a car crash and I was single for a very long time.”

“Then my grandma got sick and she made a bucket list. Number one was to become a great grandma,” her words became whispers as she tried to stop the tears, following Spencer’s tactic even though it failed so miserably.

“I said fuck it. I’m going to have a baby and make my own family, one person I can truly care for and never lose. She’s my world, she was the light of my grandma’s life until it burnt out, she has changed my world in ways I can’t even explain.”

It fell silent as they absorbed each other’s explanations of their issues. The root of their problems, the core of their soul were the most hurt was kept locked away, opening the doors and swapping scrapbook snapshots of terrible memories.

“I think,” she says, finally, like music to his ears. “I think that I’m okay, I’m positive actually that I want you in my life like this. All of you is fine with me, you’re not that scary, and I’m tired of waiting for the right moments because it means losing the people over time missed. I want to live my life fully, I’m at peace with the unknown and with you.”

Peace.

“Not to quote Taylor Swift at you or anything, but she does have a point in that song,” she laughed lightly and he felt her chest jump. Life bursting through her as she made light of an incredibly touchy subject.

“I don’t know the song,” he whispers.

She gasps, “oh that’s the line, I finally found it. Our first fight can be whether or not you like Taylor Swift, don’t even think about how upset Amoreena will be if you’re not, I’ll kick you out.”

He can't stop laughing then, digging his face into her neck as he holds her closer to his chest. Breathing her in as she finishes his laugh in a giggle, rubbing her hands down his back as she presses her cheek to his head.

“I haven’t had the time to listen to her this year I know she’s been busy releasing music,” he admits, “but I’m sure I’ll love it.”

She shifts awkwardly on the couch to take her phone out of her pocket, opening her music and playing the song she was speaking of.

He simply rests his head on her chest, both of them laying back onto the cushions together, finding a comforting spot for their arms as they listened to the words, silently.

He absorbed it all, every word she said bringing forth a feeling he’s never felt before. True understanding, like someone, gets him. Gasping audibly when she says ‘robbers to the east clowns to the west, give you my sunshine, give you my best.’

He wasn’t alone.