#I’m so normal about this new clip I swear

[artocelot]

Does it calm you down ☺️

Not really 😐

[buzzyb33]

Podcasts

Prompt: a collection of clips from a podcast with Y/n and James- literally just them being a cute couple

Warnings: swearing, established relationship, both Y/n and James are content creators, short,

(I have so many requests and stuff but this just came to mind after seeing Ethan and faiths new podcast so.. I’ll get to them soon I swear)

One occurrence was the newest podcast, the two have videos every Thursday and read stupid Twitter threads and Reddit posts.

“So, James.” I say as I adjust my position.

“Yeah? Go on.” He smiles and I clear my throat, exaggerated.

“Would you rather kiss me for 100,000 grand or kiss the prettiest girl in the world for a million?” I cross my legs as I put my phone down from reading.

“Well- what? I kiss you everyday. So I- can just do it.. but for money? So obviously you.” He says, adjusting his glasses.

“That’s the wrong fucking answer, James.” I shake my head.

“What? Why? We don’t need a million- I suppose it’d be nice.” He speaks and watches me carefully as my jaw ticks.

“No! I’m the prettiest girl in the world! You’re meant to say: ‘oh y/n, I could kiss you and get the million,’ because I’m meant to be the prettiest girl in the world!”

I scoff and slam my hand as he starts laughing.

“Yeah-! That’s- what I meant! Oh fuck off that was a trick question. Yeah, I’d kiss you and get the million.” He pleads his case with amusement.

“Who’s the prettiest girl in the world?” I ask.

“You!”

I shake my head. “Not what you said before..”

Another time was a bit random, but it sits a nice place in Y/ns heart.

“You know, Y/n is getting her room re done. She claims she isn’t a loser but the amount of five nights at Freddy’s and Pokémon stuff is organised on her shelf I thought I was going to have a seizure from all the colours.” James says, flexing his fingers.

I roll my eyes, opening my mouth to speak but the frowning.

“I’m sorry- you’re a content creator and don’t know the five nights at Freddy’s lore? And I bet you could name like two fucking Pokémon.” I scoff, sipping my coffee.

He looks at me and laughs.

“You get so defensive! And I can name many Pokémon, you’re just borderline obsessed.”

He states and I scoff again.

“Sorry, James, how many fucking guitars do you own?” I retort and he rolls his eyes.

“I get payed for that, very different.” He replies and I scoff.

“Guys James is just mad he acts tureen years older than he is.” I snicker and he smiles.

“Okay, haha.”

Though, James’ favourite clip of the two is when they had Willne as a guest, him sat on the middle.

“So, how long do these normally go on for?” He asks as he shifts in his seat.

“About an hour.. maybe longer so..” James pulls his phone out, checking the time.

“Around an hour or something left.” He says and I nod, finding some threads to read out.

“What’s your home screen?” Will asks as James checks the time.

His face turns a little pink, only visible by the tips of his ears and nose.

“It’s me and Y/n in Australia.” He shows will and he can’t help but smile.

The photo consists of Y/n eating a cone of ice cream, one hand in James’ as they walk ahead of whoever took the photo, the sun is just setting and she has his rainbow scarf draped over her shoulders.

At that, i look up.

“What? The one Jago took?” I ask as I peer over and James nods.

“Awe..” I smile and he looks away.

“What’s yours then lass?” Will asks and i smile as I lock my phone to show him and the camera.

The photo is of my lips smooshed against James’ cheek and his hand in my forehead, attempting to push it away, I was sleep deprived when I did that and Jono found it hilarious at James’ trying-not-to-smile expression and snapped the photo.

Will fake gags and then chuckles.

The finally, the end of 2023 podcast was a fan favourite.

“What was your Spotify wrapped?” He asks, pulling his own phone out.

“I thought I’d ask on the podcast.” He adds with a smile.

I smile at his Tory accent and check.

“I haven’t looked yet..” I say as I tap through it.

“Hm. My number one song was heartbeat by childish Gambino, number two static by Steve lacy, number three was so long by you, number four was crying lighting and five was 505 by arctic monkeys.” I say with a soft smile.

“You have me?” He asks with a skeptical tone.

I scoff and shove my phone near him as he smirks.

“Alright alright.. artists?” He asks and I see.

“Arctic monkeys, you, Kanye west, childish gambino and TV girl.” I smile as I hand him my phone.

“I don’t think me and Kanye should ever be next to each other. In any list.” He says with a stupidly serious time and I let out a giggle.

“Shut up. What was your favourite edit of the year?” I ask and he shrugs.

“Edit? I don’t know..” he clearly thinks.

“Mine is the josh Hutcherson one.” I smile jd he rolls his eyes.

“Could at least lie and say it’s one of me.” He scoffs and I laugh.

“I did like the one where it was taking what’s not yours and it was a ship edit of us. That was sweet.” I smile and he nods.

“I saw that.. stop being al soft. Now I look like a prick.” I smile teasingly and he scoffs again.

A/n

Guys I’m so burnt out I know I have loads of requests but don’t let that stop you from keeping the coming cus I will be writing my favs first.

Also maybe I just wanted to yap about my interests and put them into the reader. Oh well.

Requests are open!

Masterlist!

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Could I possibly request a little Negan x hispanic!Reader? Reader has 3 kids from before the apocalypse and the toddler seems not to be scared of Negan?

Wandering Babies

Negan x plus size reader

When the ruthless leader of the Saviours bumps into a lost toddler in his city, his life gets changed forever, especially when his protective mother shows up.

Warnings: Negan being Negan, swearing, implied future relationship, fluff

WC: 1.3k

A/N: Hi nonnie! I don't usually write y/ns with a specific race since I like to remain as open as I can with them but I did give her kids traditionally Spanish names so I hope that was ok!

Minors DNI

“Well well well, what the fuck do we have here?” The sun shone brightly behind the giant of a man, casting his face in shadow. To any normal person, it would have scared the absolute shit out of them, especially with the looming threat of Lucille across his shoulders, but the toddler in front of him was smiling the whole time.

His big brown eyes focused on the man in front of him, looking at him in a way that only babies could. Kneeling down, Negan came face to face with the child. “The fuck do you want?” He said like he was addressing someone below him but the two year old just burst out into giggles, obviously finding this whole thing hilarious.

“I think that’s the new-comer’s kid.” Simon chose that moment to speak up and caused Negan to roll his eyes.

“Yeah I fuckin figured that.” He growled, not taking his eyes off the kid who was now inching closer. He wasn’t quite steady on his feet and wobbled dangerously with each step he took. Unconsciously, Negan’s free hand shot out and held the surprisingly plump belly of the child, keeping him upright. Tiny hands grabbed at his wrist but didn’t attempt to push him away. Instead he touched Negan's arm, pulling at the sleeve of his leather jacket. 

“I’m just wondering how the fuck someone could lose a goddamn kid.” The toddler continued to fiddle with the dark fabric, Negan only stopping him when he tried to put it in his mouth.

Simon shrugged behind his boss. “I mean she’s got three of em and she’s working in the kitchens and the infirmary.” That shocked the older man. Working two jobs was unheard of in the Sanctuary, one job could provide more than enough for someone and their family.

The kid suddenly released his wrist and raised his arms over his head, opening and closing his chubby hands in a clear sign. Releasing a deep sigh, Negan relented. He shoved Lucille into the awaiting arms of his second in command and picked up the child with an ease of someone who has done it many times before. His little head tucked into the crook of his neck, his fluffy brown hair tickling Negan’s nose.

“How about we go find your mother huh.” The toddler nodded. Just as Negan took a step forward, already planning a very angry speech to the boy’s mom, a woman ripped out of the building and his breath caught in his throat.

Her eyes were wide with panic but that wasn’t what caught his attention. She was gorgeous, all thick curves and fat like a Greek goddess. She blazed with anxiety and rage, poised for a fight against anyone that might have taken her child. “Tomas!” The child’s head shot back, clipping Negan’s chin as he did.

“Mama!” She spun and locked eyes with the big bad leader of the Saviors and shamefully, he felt his knees buckle. Tomas squirmed in his hold, eager to reach for his mother but Negan was frozen in place. Two other children trailed behind her like ducklings, a pair of twin girls that looked to be 8 or 9 years old. 

As she drew closer, he could see the details of her face, the scars and blemishes but more importantly, the huge dark circles that marred her otherwise perfect visage. She stopped a yard away from him, quickly shoving her girls behind her back. “Thank you for finding Tomas, he has a bad habit of wandering off when I’m not looking.” Her voice was steady, he supposed from years of practice.

“He is a very sweet fucking kid.” One of the girls gasped, her hand coming up to her mouth in a comical expression of shock.

“He said a bad word, mama.” The other whispered just loud enough for Negan to hear. 

“You shouldn’t let your fucking kids run around without supervision, that’s how they get killed.” Her murderous glare set itself on Simon as she took another step forward. Negan could see what she was planning to do, grab Tomas and then go after the tall man. 

But before she could make her move, Negan did. “How about you go and fuck off, I need to have a fucking conversation with this lovely woman and you are really killing the mood with your fuck ugly face.” There was a brief moment of tense silence before Simon thrust Lucille into his free arm and turned with a huff to walk away, muttering under his breath.

The woman breathed a sigh of relief, her walls crumbling slightly but they were quickly built back up. “Could I please have my son now?” Tomas was lifted from his arms but Negan realised he missed the weight of the toddler against his chest. He suddenly felt a hell of a lot colder than he did before.

The boy gave out a great big sigh as he settled into his mother’s bust, utterly exhausted from his escape attempt. Two little heads poked out from behind her legs, studying the man that had been holding their brother. “Well who are these two pretty girls?” Shyly, they clung to their mom’s jeans, not answering him.

“Isabella and Lucia.” She responded for them.

“Two fucking gorgeous names for two gorgeous girls.” They smiled bashfully but didn’t try to hide again, he took that as a win. “And which one of you are going to tell me your mama’s name? I bet her name is just as beautiful as her.” He raised his head to look at said woman, expecting her to be as flattered as her daughters but instead he was met with a glare even dirtier than the one she gave Simon.

“Oh now that is a dirty damn look! And I would be lying if I said it didn’t turn me the fuck on.” Her jaw ticked with annoyance but that only made his smile grow wider across his stubbled cheeks. He gave an exaggerated shiver which made the girls giggle. “Wowie your mother is goddamn scary.”

“Yeah! Once she kicked Derek’s dad in his private place because he said something mean to her.” Isabella finally spoke up, her little voice gaining confidence. Lucia nodded along with her sister in agreement, still too shy to say anything yet.

“Well Derek’s dad deserved it for being such an asshole to your lovely mother. Now how about we go have some fucking dinner and keep disguising how amazing she is.” Those seemed to be the magic words because the twins emerged fully from behind said woman’s legs and ran at him. With absolutely no hesitation, Negan dropped Lucille beside him, kicking the bat away so neither of the girls would accidentally hurt themselves. 

Just like their brother, they each took hold of one of his jacket sleeves and yanked. “Can we have spaghetti?” “Do you have ice cream?” “Mama, can we go with him?” “Mama please!” “Mama!” They screamed in quick succession, not giving either adult any time to answer before asking their next question. Negan gave her a victorious look. 

He could tell she wanted to say no but her girls had finally opened up to someone new for the first time since the world ended and, even though she loved them, she could use a break from their clingy behaviour. “Fine but no complaining about an early bedtime tonight. Remember mama has to work early tomorrow.” They exploded into excited shouts and began tugging the older man forward, eager to talk to him.

Negan let them pull him along but he looked back at the woman that had so entirely captured his attention, throwing her a wink. “We’ll stay up as late as you want and don’t worry about your job mama, I’ve got that all covered. You just need to sit back and relax tonight and let me do all the work.”

Her eyes widened and then darkened with a barely hidden lust at the double entendre and he just chuckled deep in his chest. He’d gotten her and maybe, just maybe, a new chance at life with this little family, all because Tomas liked to wander.

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[pupphe-additions]

Reunited at Last

Word Count: 2,479 a/n: Anything written in italics is spoken in english, anything written in bold and italics is what Evie is thinking. Warnings: swearing, talks of anxiety and throwing up

November, 2019

Evie wakes up to her alarm at three in the morning and she sighs heavily. She stretches and dismisses her alarm in the same swift motion and then she gets up to start her day. She first heads to her kitchen, petting her dogs as she passes by them. She rubs the back of her head awkwardly as she grabs one of her premade breakfast meals out of the freezer. It’s a homemade ham, bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich that she made the night before, she pops it in the microwave. While it heats up she grabs a container of peach yogurt and some white chocolate granola to put inside it. She snacks on the yogurt while going over the plan for the day in her head. She needs to shower, walk her dogs, talk to her management, then go about her normal training. It’s going to be a very long day…

She’s brought back to reality when she hears her microwave beep, she grabs her food and goes and sits on her couch tucking her legs under her as she does. She rubs her temples before she eats her food kind of quickly and then she gathers herself to go shower, playing music as she does. During her shower she makes sure to wash her face and brush her teeth. She wraps herself in her robe before she walks back to her room and quickly heads to her closet. She grabs a pair of black leggings and a white cami. After she gets her clothes on she grabs her favorite oversized hoodie that is near her bag and slips on her sneakers. 

“Luna, Aurora, it’s time for your walk before I go to training, my loves.” Evie calls to her dogs and they instantly run to her side with their leashes in their mouths.

Evie smiles down at them and clips their leashes to their collars and puts on their booties before they head out, she also slips on her face mask. Evie ends up walking her dogs for about twenty minutes, replaying bits of last night in her mind. She feels like a burden and lets out a stressed sigh before letting her dogs back into her apartment and hanging their leashes back up on the wall.

“You guys behave now, ya? I don’t want a single message from my roommate that you guys didn’t listen. It’ll be a longer day today so I won’t be able to see ya til tonight.” Evie says to her two dogs before kissing them both on their heads.

She grabs her bag from her room before rushing out the door, she’s late now because she lost track of time during the walk. She quickly pulls her baseball cap onto her head and slips her face mask back on before bolting out the door to catch her ride. Her manager told her they had to talk to her and those words haunted her the entire time she tried sleeping. What could they need from her? Surely she isn’t in any trouble right?

Yesterday’s training was really hard for Evie and she’s remembering every mistake she made and she wonders if it was because of that. Maybe they are cutting me from the family? Maybe I’ll never debut after all. She thought to herself tears threatening to form and she quickly stops that line of thinking and pops her earbuds in and listens to her music to calm her mind. She laid her head on the window and zones out as her mind races as to what management could want from her.

She shakes her head and comes back to reality again when she notices her phone is going off. It’s her brother and she instantly answers.

Evie is all smiles as she answers the facetime call. “Huddy! Hi! How’d you know I was up?” 

“I didn’t, I have some amazing news for you though and that’s why I called you at this hour.” Hudson, Evie’s older brother, is equally as smiley as she is, if not more.

“Well, out with it!”

“You’re going to be an Auntie!” Hudson nearly shouts as he waves a positive pregnancy test at the camera.

“I’m glad!” Evie says with a beaming smile. “Unfortunately I’ve got to go, we made it to the building.” 

“Awe, well, call me when you can ya?” Hudson says with a slight frown. “You’ve been extra busy the past few days.”

“Yes of course I’ll call ya. Don’t forget to eat brekky and to take care of yourself. I’ve got things to tell you later. I love ya Huds.”

“I love you too, Evs.” he replies before hanging up.

Talking to her brother seemed to bring up Evie’s mood a lot and she thanks her driver before she heads to the practice room. Blinking a lot to get her eyes used to the bright lights of the room. By now it is nearly  five in the morning, usually she’d be here by now or just leaving. Evie basically lives in the practice rooms not because they make her but because she doesn’t deem herself worthy of being an idol.

“Evelyn?” says an oddly familiar voice, at first she can’t put her finger on who it is. Then her eyes instantly widen when she looks up and sees who it is. She nearly drops her bag to the floor as she bows her head very low.

“Yes sir? Was it you that needed to speak to me?” Evie asks in a shaky voice in English before she mentally scolds herself and repeats it in Korean.

“I have some really really good news for you. Follow me.” JYP says before leading her out of the training room she’s been calling home for the past year.

“Don’t you dare think I haven’t noticed how hard you work yourself Nari.” he says, stopping suddenly. Evie turns and looks at him tilting her head not wanting to interrupt him if he wants to speak again. 

“I know how hard you took your elimination from the show, and I do apologize. I just hope you understand I did that so you could grow even more as an artist and find yourself more. I’ve been monitoring you closely since you’ve been eliminated and I don’t think you fit with the other girls you’ve been training with. You belong with them.” he says to her before nodding to a door. Evie starts to tremble in place, her eyes widening again.

“Skz is in there?” she asked quietly, missing her boys.

“Yes, only Chan knows you’re coming. Enter when you’re ready, you’re going to be extremely busy from this moment on. I hope you enjoy being back with the group, that is your home Nari.” with that JYP turns and walks away leaving Evie standing there with her jaw on the floor.

She takes many deep breaths trying to calm her nerves. She hasn’t seen these boys since the day she was eliminated from the show. These were her best friends in the entire industry, her literal motivation to work so hard, to be better. Right there, all she has to do is open the door. Her hands are trembling, what if they are mad at her for something? Woojin just left the group not too long ago, so what if people begin to think they added her to replace him? There’s STAYs who have been begging for Evie to debut with SKZ even now so they won’t, but what if others do? Not everyone is going to know her history with SKZ. Evie just open the door and stop procrastinating. 

Evie lays her head against the door and can hear the quiet sounds of talking of the boys who she assumes had just woken up not long ago. She stays like that for a few moments until she hears footsteps coming toward the door and she quickly and quietly moves away from the door fearing it’ll open and they will see her creeping on them like that. Holding her breath she just opens the door, knowing if she doesn’t do it now she never will. She wanted to make sure that the door opened because of her and not one of the boys needed to go to the bathroom or something and exposed her waiting to enter.

When the door opens all the chattering in the room dies, she slowly closes the door behind her staring at the floor, afraid of their reactions. She nervously scratches at her arm and sort of shrinks. The silence is oh so loud.

She quietly says, “Hi…” 

No one says anything, the boys just stare at her in disbelief as if they are seeing a ghost. She finally looks around to see the shocked looks on everyone’s faces and Hyunjin is crying, she wants to hug them all to catch up with them but she can’t find it in her to move. She stares at Minho and her heart drops, he looks pissed at her. Her gaze then goes to Felix who looks like he’s ready to pounce on her and tackle her in a hug. Then she sees Jeongin who is staring blankly at her as if he doesn’t believe that she’s truly there. Chan, who knew she was coming, is smiling softly and warmly, the love that always radiates off him when she’s near him is something she never forgot. Changbin is staring at her shocked to see her, his jaw hanging open. Seungmin is just staring at her, his facial expressions are hard for her to read. Finally she looks at Han who is smiling widely. 

She takes one step forward before falling to the floor and she just bursts into tears, she’s having such a rough time believing any of this is real. Quickly Chan, Felix, Han, and Hyunjin rush up to her and hug her in a group hug to comfort Evie. She’s crying really hard and sorta pushes everyone away after a few moments and runs out of the room to go catch her breath, she suddenly feels really anxious. She at first didn’t have a plan, she wanted to just run home and pretend this awkward reunion never happened but she decided to just head to the bathroom instead knowing that’d be the wiser decision.

She sprints to the bathroom and ends up throwing up her breakfast. During this whole thing her phone was being blown up, she doesn’t know who could be texting her this much at this time but she just turns it to silent and washes her face and slaps her cheeks to hype herself up again. She feels really stupid for leaving them like that, for breaking down in front of them, for throwing up with anxiety. She sighs at herself and takes her phone out of her pocket and sees she’s been added to a group chat, that’s why her phone was being blown up, none of the phone numbers are saved, she couldn’t be bothered to actually read any of the messages just blankly stares at her phone for a few moments before she finally heads back to the room that she sprinted from.

She knocks on the door gently this time before entering, the chattering once again stopping when she enters the room. She feels as though all the connections she had with these boys have disappeared by the silence. She sighs and just grabs her bag and puts her phone in it before putting it in the corner of the room. When she gets back to the center of the room it’s still silent.

“Can someone please say something…?” Evie asks as she anxiously runs a hand through her hair.

“Evelyn? Is that really you?” Hyunjin was the first to say anything.

She nods before speaking. “Yes, hello. I missed you guys…” tears threaten to fall again.

“Why are you here?” Minho asks a bit coldly and Evie visibly shrinks.

Evie shrugs and equally as coldly replies. “Ask your damn leader.”

Felix comes up to Evelyn and just pulls her into a tight hug and she instantly relaxes and mumbles an apology to Minho and Chan for getting snippy as she hugs back her fellow Aussie. He gently rubs her back and kisses her on her cheeks.

“We missed you so much Evs.” Felix says to her excitedly.

“Doesn’t feel like it…” Evelyn pouts and reluctantly pulls away from the hug staring at Minho again.

“Don’t mind him, Bug.” Chan says from behind Felix. “He really missed you, he was torn up after you had to leave. I think he’s in shock.”

“Okay?” Evie is clearly confused. “Doesn’t mean he has to be cold to me like we are strangers now. It’s only been a year…”

She moves around Felix and hugs each member excluding Minho who is just glaring daggers at her.

“Oi!” Evie shouts at Minho to get his attention. “Do you want a hug, Minnie?”

He stands up and just opens his arms and she borderline runs into his arm catching him off guard and they fall to the floor laughing and just cuddle one another, the cold front instantly leaving when he finally got her in his arms. Minho was always one of the members Evie was close to. After they hug for a short while she goes back to clinging to Hyunjin, another one of the boys she’s extremely close to. Instinctively he kisses her head and Chan ushers the group to gather around, Evie sits between Minho and Hyunjin.

“You guys are probably curious as to why Evelyn is back with us in this room. Well I have got some news for you all.” Chan starts the announcement and Evie grabs one hand of each of the boys around her feeling nervous for some reason, fearing they would reject Chan’s words. 

“I have been having a lot of serious conversations recently after everything that has been happening. I voiced how we were upset with the fact that JYP cut Evelyn from the team. After telling him about how I don’t feel like the team is truly ‘Stray Kids’ without Evelyn he told me that he has been monitoring her training process since the day she left us and that if we wanted…” Chan pauses for a moment, probably for dramatic effect before speaking again. “She could join Stray Kids during our next comeback!”

The boys all let out gasps and Minho squeezes Evie’s hand rather tightly, probably from excitement from being able to be with her everyday again. All the boys voice their agreement to let Evie back into Stray Kids, agreeing the group felt so wrong without her. Evelyn finally felt at home again for the first time in about a year. She hugs everyone and tells them all she loves them before they all got ready to actually start practicing.

[illyrian-dreamer]

Changing Shadows (Part 19)

Azriel x Reader

Summary: After a passionate night with Azriel, you both struggle to hide it from the others. And when Rhys sends the two of you on a mission alone, you know it will be impossible to keep your hands to yourself.

AN: Going into more detail about the night our reader had her wings clipped. Angst and fluff with all 3 bat boys, then some more smut with our Shadowsinger 🌶️I hope you like it! 😍18+ (Minors DNI).

Image by koike9023

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5* | Part 6* | Part 7* | Part 8 | Part 9* | Part 10 | Part 11* | Part 12* | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15* | Part 16* | Part 17* | Part 18*

Warnings: Sex, swearing, violence, PTSD 18+ (Minors DNI)

Word count: 2,010

Part 19:

∇

The next morning, you awoke alone in your bed, craving the touch of Azriel’s hands on your body. It was if a fire was lit in your heart, and there was not stamping it out.

And after last night when he had asked you to stay by his side a little while longer, you thought Azriel might feel the same way.

But guilt dawned on you as it always did. You had to put your court first, put the lives of your brother and the rest of your family first. 

If anyone found out the Spymaster and Head Guard to the Night Court were romantically involved, they could use it against you in an instant. You did not need anymore targets on your back, especially still recovering from war. You could not risk the lives of those you loved just to play games with Azriel. This wasn’t a mateship, after all.

You rose early, hoping to avoid the crowd at breakfast.

Azriel had the same idea.

You jumped, almost steering into him in the dining room as you were lost in thought.

"Shit!” you swore, spilling the hot coffee you carried onto yourself.

“Sorry! I was just-,” Azriel started, raising from his seat to leave.

“Don’t be. I’m sorry,” you interjected. An awkward silence hung between you.

Cassian entered the room, already munching on some oats. Thank the Mother.

“Morning you two,” he drawled, mouth half full. He sensed the tension, and paused to take a dramatic sniff. “Good morning indeed.”

You cursed in your mind, as you saw Azriel’s cheeks flood with colour. You realised yours had done the same.

“It’s none of my business,” Cassian said neutrally, pulling up a seat at the table. “But Rhys and Feyre are visiting the house before midday. A scent glamour would do you well.” He winked at both of you.

You could have killed him, but his advice was sound.

“Consider it done,” Az said quietly as he left the room.

You sighed. So much for a quiet breakfast.

--------

Rhys had called an informal meeting to check in with rest of the circle, provided updated movements for the team as there were new missions ahead.

He ordered Cassian to take over night patrol before turning to you and the Shadowsinger.

“Y/N and Azriel,” Rhys said. You gulped, wings twitching. Even Azriel’s shadows stilled.

Oh gods, he knew.

“I need the two of you to work as a team to retrieve hidden documents from the Illyrian camps,” he explained.

Phew.

“I know they’re hiding records from us,” Rhys continued. “I need the Spymaster to retrieve it without being traced, and Prythian’s fastest flyer to get it out of there should anything go wrong.”

You both nodded. You worried Rhys could sense the tension, but he carried on with his meeting as per normal. You did catch Mor’s eyes on you briefly, and noted a smug look on Cassian’s face that he tried to hide.

You were to leave that night.

--------

You arrived late at your Mother’s cottage close to the Illyrian camps. The plan was for Azriel to infiltrate security, his stealth making their disappearance untraceable. He would then signal for you to winnow into the records room, while he would guard the room from the outside. If one of you had the records, the other could act as a diversion should you get caught.

You hated this place. The cottage itself held sentimental value for the boys, but it only reminded you of a harsh childhood and made you ache at the loss of your Mother. On top top of that, being so close to the camps reminded of the night you were captured and dragged back there to have your wings clipped.

That horrible, hideous night, when you were merely a teenager. A group of Illyrian males had tracked you down, unhappy with new laws Rhys had implemented to improve female living conditions across the camps. They sought revenge through misogynistic violence, knowing it would hurt him more than anything else.

Just like in your dream, they had pinned you down, sneering and threatening as they danced the blade in front of your face. Entertained by your pain, they had promised to clip your wings slowly.

It was a blessing in disguise, because only half the incisions were made before Azriel kicked through the door, immediately snapping the neck of the male who held the knife. The others were killed before Rhys and Cassian arrived in a panic, just few minutes later.

Your recovery was grim, and you didn’t remember much except for a lot of sleep at the infirmary, and excruciating pain from the damage to the nerve endings in your wings. Nights were restless as flashbacks haunted your dreams.

Rhys did not leave your side, blaming himself for the whole thing. He worked to block the pain in your mind and whispered comforts to you, holding your hand while you cried.

Cassian and Azriel also spent a lot of time at your bed, the latter’s shadows soothed you through fights of infection, his presence the only thing that truly calmed you.

It was also Az who pulled you out of the darkness as you struggled with the aftershock of the event. Once Madja confirmed there was some hope in saving your wings, he got to work on your rehabilitation, teaching you new methods of self defence while allowing your wings to heal. It helped you to keep working for the court, to keep travelling and seeing the world. Somehow he knew what you needed, knew how to get you standing on your own two feet again.

It was for that reason you hated to depend on him so much. You wanted to show him — after all this time — his hard work had paid off and that you were strong again.

Your wings had taken many years to heal fully, with a lot of work with Madja and training with Az and Cas. When you were well enough, you tried to comfort Rhys who continued to feel guilty, explaining that it wasn’t his fault. He had been so protective of you ever since. You sensed Azriel also had some guilt for not finding you sooner. It was a miracle he knew how to track you in the first place.

You breathed in deep, sitting at the table while trying to calm your heart at the horrible memory.

Azriel sensed your stress, and moved from lighting the fireplace to brushing a thumb across you face. He was free to express his affection in the absence of the rest of the circle.

“It’s going to be ok,” he said. “A simple in-and-out mission, I’ll be with you the whole time.”

Your heart calmed a little, annoyed at how safe he made you feel.

“Have I ever told you how thankful I am,” you asked.

“Only a million times,” he smiled sadly, knowing what you meant. “And you don’t need to thank me.” He took a seat next to you.

“You saved my life,” you stated plainly.

“I should have gotten there sooner,” he said, looking to the side, his eyebrows furrowing in pain.

You frowned, placing your hand atop of his. “The fact that you found me in the first place was a miracle.”

He didn’t reply, but instead turned his head, looking at you as if there was no excuse.

“Besides,” you piped up, flexing your wings playfully. “I’m all fixed now,” winking at him. It broke you to see him blame himself, you wanted to cheer him up.

He smiled, looking down at first, before raising his eyes, a slight mischief hidden behind them.

He ran a hand across your wing as he gently touched your scars, new ones on top of old ones. “Yes, you are.”

You shivered at the touch. He knew what he was doing, having wings of his own. He knew just how good that would feel. You couldn’t help but whimper.

He stood, towering over you as he placed one hand on the table, and one on the back of your chair, capturing you in his breadth. His own wings began to extend.

“What if I gave you another reason to thank me, sweetheart?” His eyebrows raised in question, his voice silken and lustful, eyes swirling as he looked down at you.

You swallowed. “What do you mean?”

He moved his hand to touch your other wing, your insides throbbing and liquid began to pull below you. “I can take your mind off things for a while… should you so wish.”

You could hardly concentrate, let alone reply.

“I know this place holds some bad memories for you, Y/N,” he said truthfully. “How about we make some good ones instead?” Azriel winked at you, his gaze animalistic as he drank you in.

Mother above.

You blinked up at him through your lashes, before walking by the fireplace, extending yourself on the small lounge.

“And what would that involve, Shadowsinger?”

Azriels eyes darkened at your choice of words as he stalked over to where you lay, and hovered his body over yours, noses almost touching.

“What that would involve, smart-ass,” he smirked down at you, “is this.”

He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your neck, his tongue swirling at the spot as he started to suck.

“And this,” he repeated, leaving your neck to pry your top open, running his tongue along your bust.

“And this,” he said one final time, voice huskier than before as he pressed his lips pressed against yours, his tongue demanding entrance to your mouth. You reached your arms around his neck, fingers lacing and pulling at the roots of his dark hair as you let him in.

Azriel let out a deep moan, and you felt him harden against his leathers. It was all too familiar now, and you took comfort in knowing and understanding his body.

You slipped a gentle hand into his leathers, rubbing his shaft within his pants. He groaned at your touch, kissing you harder as one hand grabbed your jaw passionately.

He started to move against your hand, humping his shaft while you continued to rub. Your thumb found his head, circling around it as he bucked with  sensitivity.

“Wicked, wicked thing,” he purred, pulling your leathers open roughly.

There was not much time to spare before you would have to leave the cottage for your mission, both of you working quickly to pull his shaft in deep within you, sharing moans as he sunk into place.

Azriel began slow and sensual movements, allowing you to adjust to his size and he pushed into you again and again.

You moaned freely, you touched him all over while you admired his beautiful face as it contorted in lust.

“Oh gods, baby girl,” Azriel breathed as he increased his pace. “I will never get sick of taking you.”

You twitched around him, your mind feral at his words. If only he knew you felt the exact same way.

You leaned up on your elbows, moving your hips faster to meet his thrusts as you pulled him into your breasts, encouraging him to latch on. You threw your head back in pleasure as he found your nipples, tongue flicking over them.

Azriel pushed you further into the lounge, reaching a new depth that made your eyes roll.

“Oh Az,” you moaned breathlessly. “You’re so deep.”

“Yes sweetheart,” he replied, panting while he rocked against you. “Look at how well you take me.”

Mother above.

It did not take long your you to reach your end in this new position, your sex tightening and contracting as you built to a release.

Knowing you were close, Azriel placed a gentle hand on your sex as he started to rub, hitting your sensitive spot again and again.

Your mind exploded and you hips rutted in place, your sex milking Azriel as he growled his delightful sounds, finishing in your depths.

The fire cracked as Azriel lay on top of you, his head resting on your breasts as you clung to each other, nestled like two pieces to a puzzle.

How in Cauldron’s name were you going to pull off the mission in this state?

--------

Part 20 >>>

AN: ANOTHER smut!! I hope you guys liked the background to the reader’s past. There’s more mission-based and family-based storyline coming up in the next parts. As always, I would love your feedback on what you think about the story so far :) And comment to join the tag list <3

Tags: @slvtherinseeker​ @judig92​ @kennedy-brooke @hyacinthoideshispanica @brekkershadowsinger​ @its-me-meg​ @acotar-thirst​ @5moremin​ @honeyrydernot​ @azzydaddy @lucyysthings @highladyofillyria @paasrin​ @starswholistenanddreamsanswered​ @littleshopofwhoress @blurredlamplight​ @hanasakr​

[alexanderlightweight]

Prompt if you like it! Living!John with platonic John, Lydia, Alec who everyone mistakes as in a group relationship. Bonus for moping Alec getting cuddles/sofa-squishes because the gorgeous warlock he keeps running into is giving mixed messages (because he thinks Alec is taken).

i hope you enjoy how this goes, it kind of didn't go the way intended because magnus wasn't about to risk alec getting swept away. thank you for the prompt

<3 lumine

-

“What’s wrong?” 

John hears Lydia ask and whatever she hears makes her furious, her eyes are bright with a tightly contained anger and she stops undressing to instead tie her back and into a ponytail.

John sighs and gets up himself, knowing that while she won’t ask him to follow wherever she’s headed, that he doesn’t want to be anywhere else. 

“Clave?” He asks, because that’s the most likely issue and could be why Lyds is so upset. 

She shakes her head and scowls at the wall, hand rubbing her thigh where a sword normally would be. 

“Alec.”

John doesn’t ask another question, instead he’s up and grabbing one of their joint go-bags. 

“Okay, let’s go.” He says, about ten minutes later when he’s gathered everything, he thinks they’ll need. “If we want to crossover to New York as fast as possible, we’ll need to cut through the City of Bones.”

Lydia winces but nods, because to her — for both of them — the unpleasantness is worth it, if it means getting to Alec’s side when he needs it.

—

“You're getting an arranged marriage?” John asks again, shocked as he sits there and watches as Alec groans and curls further into Lydia’s lap.

He says something but it’s muffled by Lydia’s stomach, and she rolls her eyes, petting his hair slowly as she mouths ‘Maryse and Robert’ across to him.

John locks gazes with her and he knows, that whatever happens they'll not be letting Alec go through this.

Ever.

—

John watches as the warlock, Magnus Bane, sees Alec and immediately zeroes in. It’s as if the rest of the Institute doesn’t matter and while Alec is flustered, he’s not overwhelmed which means this has happened enough for him to get used to it.

“I do not like what I’m seeing.” Lydia mutters, glaring over at the troublesome group Alec’s trying to keep leashed. 

“Alec being appreciated?” John teases back, but she doesn’t laugh, and her gaze isn’t on Alec or his admirer.

“They don’t seem surprised or interested in the fact that Bane’s hunting him down. They seem to expect it and Alec’s only here because Jace said he needed to talk to him.”

The implications hit John like a demon horn in the gut.

“They wouldn’t.” He breathes out, quiet as he can as he stops watching Alec and Bane and focuses instead on the other three.

“They would.” Lydia hisses, angry and vicious, “and Alec wouldn’t even realize. Bane probably doesn’t even know either, the way he’s so wrapped up in Alec, I doubt he’s paying attention.”

“Fuck—” John mutters and he knows Lyds hates mundane swears, but she just nods, a short, clipped agreement. “Okay, so you grab Alec and I—”

“No, you grab Alec. I’ll grab Bane.” When John sends her a questioning look, she just shrugs her shoulders with a smirk.

It’s always less dangerous to not know what she’s planning and so John goes along with it. Alec is just as entranced as Bane is and John wonders if he’s going to be able to snap him out of it. However, Lyds has a plan and John is a dutiful, obedient husband “Alec, I need to steal you away for a second.”

John winks at Lydia, not noticing how Bane’s face shutters and goes cold, or how the gleam in his eyes flares when he follows John’s gaze to Lydia.

Instead, John focuses on his task, and he wraps an arm around Alec’s shoulder, pulling him along before he can protest. It only works because Alec is so tongue-tied in front of Bane and while John and Alec don’t agree on aesthetics, he can see the appeal.

Bane is clearly, very powerful and very dangerous.

It’s not a surprise that Alec would be attracted to him.

“What?” Alec asks, sharp and cold and probably irritated but trying to hide it.

“Lydia has something she needs to discuss with you and Bane, but we need to not be obvious about it.”

Alec looks over his shoulder, at where Lydia is approaching Bane and for a moment, John watches as Bane and Alec’s eyes lock. There’s a shiver of danger, an instinct of imminent threat that raises the hair on his neck when he tightens his grip and pulls Alec faster. 

—

Magnus is surprised that he’s not breathing actual flames with how furious he is. It’s taken time and patience and so much effort to get the little bit of 

And then, out of nowhere two nephilim show up, hoarding his boy to themselves and touching him like Magnus still isn’t allowed to. 

Magnus is reminding himself that he can’t smite visiting guests to Alexander’s Institute when he’s approached by the second one. She smiles, all political charm and bright enthusiasm, making small talk that Magnus isn’t in the mood for.

“Actually, I have some of my grandfather’s old notes. I’d love to show you.” 

It’s only because Magnus is looking for a reason to cut out her tongue that he picks up on her body language.  She’s not as relaxed as she’s pretending and she wants Magnus to follow her, desperately. It’s with fierce amusement that Magnus follows her, mentally hoping she dares to try and trap him.

It would be a lovely excuse to splatter her brain matter across the Institute walls.

Instead, he’s led to a private room and when he opens it, he stares, and he wonders if this was the torture she wanted to inflict on him.  

Alexander is sitting on the floor, back resting against a loveseat and another man’s fingers are running through his hair. Alexander makes a soft grunt and then lets his head flop further back, practically in the other nephilim lap.

“How little has he been sleeping?” The blonde shadowhunter asks, concern creasing her face and she ignores Magnus to shut the door and then she’s stepping out of her heels and crossing the room. She bends, pressing a casual kiss to Alexander’s forehead and then she’s leaning over him and kissing the man holding him.

Magnus wonders if he’s about to explode when there is a hoarse, “oh gross. Lyds, you’re not supposed to kiss this close to me. I can hear your tongues.”

There’s a snort, a bitten off laugh that turns into a cough and the blonde is covering her mouth with her hand. 

“Sorry Alec,” she murmurs, and she pats his head again.  This time, Magnus watches and pushes down the anger, seeing how Alec leans into it, like a cat seeking affection from its humans.

“Yeah buddy,” the male still holding Magnus’ boy says. “I forgot you were there.” 

“That doesn’t make it better—” Alexander grumbles and his eyes are still shut; he hasn’t noticed Magnus.  “Fuck, John why didn’t you convince Lydia to come train in New York?”

“Because John wanted to try cliff-diving for demons.” Lydia, as Magnus now bothers to remember mocks. “Now listen up, cherub-cheeks. You and Bane need to know something.”

At his name, Alexander startles, eyes wide and pink creeping over his cheeks.

“Alec—” John, Lydia’s husband, starts slowly. “You’re being taken advantage of.” Magnus hisses insulted and starts to draw himself up when he’s sent a panicked glance. “Not you, you’re not the one! Actually, they might also be taking advantage of you.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Alexander asks, confused and concerned, “how?” 

“Have you noticed a lack of receipts for Bane’s service? For all of Fray's requests and services?” 

“They said they had it taken care of. That Magnus accepted the payment.”

“I accepted a necklace, as a onetime payment.” Magnus interjects, not wanting to be spoken for when he’s in the room, especially by people who aren't even in the room. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Then why are you helping so much? Sorry, I mean. I’m glad you’re, fuck—”

“He means, why are you helping without payment. You’re the High Warlock of Brooklyn, you should be overcharging, not working pro-bono.”

Magnus blinks, then raises an eyebrow because while she’s not wrong, she’s also clearly missing the point.

“I wanted to see Alexander.”

There’s silence and then Alexander is blushing and turning into Lydia’s husbands’ knee, but Magnus is amused by it this time, rather than furious. Even if he is confused as to why Alexander is acting like this is new. 

“Which is up to you. Except where his siblings and Fray lied to him about it. They’ve been using him to get you to practically run errands for them and while I don’t care how you conduct your own affairs, it’s pretty ripe with insubordination. Especially, when he was unaware.”

“Are you suggesting,” Magnus bites out. “That everyone but Alexander was aware of why I’ve been so generous with my time and talents?”

There’s a soft groan and finally, his boy is looking at him with serious, hazel eyes. 

“You would have seen me regardless of if you were paid, Magnus. I didnt—” Alexander shrugs and his lashes flutter as his gaze lowers. “It never occurred to me that was why we always saw each other,” and he shrugs. 

Lydia and her husband match gaze over Alexander’s head, something fierce and protective between them. A reason for why they are so careful of Alexander, why they want to keep him safe.

“Well, perhaps I can take Alexander out for lunch without interruptions, for once.” Magnus gives Lydia a droll look, knowing she’ll understand immediately. 

“Oh, we can definitely make sure there aren’t any more interruptions.” Blue eyes glint dangerously, “I am a liaison of the clave. I’m sure Clarissa Fairchild’s evaluations will take several hours, probably even all day.”

Magnus holds out a hand and Alexander takes it, a confidence to the gesture that makes Magnus’ breath catch. He summons a portal, ignoring that he’s in the middle of the Institute and he smirks at the surprise in Lydia and her husband’s eyes.

“I’ll have him back before the demon strikes.” Magnus taunts, because he’s been more than polite, and it’s been a very trying day. Next to him, Alexander snorts and when he looks over, there’s a soft smile being sent his way.

If this is how Alexander is when he’s not being bothered by his siblings and Clarissa, then Magnus suddenly has a reason to deal with them.

[padfoot0216]

TK Strand is Autistic. (I have evidence I just thought I would start with that. Straight to the point you know)

I would also like to say this is written by an autistic person who has done hours of research in autism. So I kind of know what I’m talking about I think.

Special Interest (there isn’t a lot for this one but there is some soo)

So the first example is from season 2 episode 2. Mateo is talking about his new tattoo and mentions TK’s tattoo. He says “You’re the one with the beetle in your arm.” to TK. TK responds with, “It’s not a beetle it’s a honey bee.” And then without and prompting says l, “Did you know honey bees pollinate a third of our food supply?” I know that by itself it’s not exactly great evidence. Combined with everything else I will speak about it fits. Like the only prompting he had for this random bee fact was Mateo bringing up the tattoo.

Monotone Voice/Flat Face

Every single episode. It’s especially noticeable when he’s working. He has very little facial expression and his voice stays flat. I was going to try and find a scene that I could link here but it’s really difficult to find a scene that’s not just him and Carlos or him just passed out, and I feel like using a clip of him being passed out wouldn’t really prove my point, but if you compare his facial expressions and voice to there during very intense events you’ll notice it. Such as Season 3 Episode 11. The whole capital building is shut down and everyone on the team has at least a little bit of worry on their faces, but TK looks so unbothered. Like this is completely normal. He is obviously worried but it doesn’t really show. The only time he really has expression is around Carlos. I know there are definitely some other exceptions, but a majority of the time this applies.

Stimming (There is so much evidence for this)

TK stims in literally every episode. I’m not going to put every example because that would take literally hours and although I do have time for that I don’t want to. So we’ll start with season 1 episode 4 when TK goes to chemo with his dad. Now this one could just be him being anxious but I have more I swear. Just watch the first 12 seconds of the clip. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uHp4ME6v7MA. Okay another example or I could say examples is him just messing with his hands. At all times. He never stops. If you watch him during the show you’ll notice this. I would put examples but once again way too many. The next one that comes to mind is TK during season 3 episode 19 when they hold the intervention for Nancy and Mateo towards the end of the episode. If you watch him throughout the entire scene you’ll see it but the part I’m talks about is between 46 seconds and 48 seconds of the clip I’m about to give the link to. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_7rtPmn99i8. The last one I’m going to mention despite there being so much more is TK during season 4 episode 8. Once again if you watch you’ll see him stimming throughout it, but the particular scene I’m talking about is when he fires his dad. The more he gets upset the more you see it. It is literally just this whole scene. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ILcATWsXrsM

Being Upset By Change

I only have two examples of this but I think they fit pretty well. The first one also comes from season 3 episode 17. He is having the conversation about catan with Nancy, and seems very hesitant about changing from catan. To be fair they all were but he could t even begin to understand why she would want to change it. It all starts when Nancy says, “We’re both over Catan.” TK at this point gets really confused because who wouldn’t want to play the same game every time they have a game night because he certainly would. He responds with “Over Catan? But that’s like our national pastime Nance.” Later in this conversation Nancy says, “I think it’d be good for all of us to change things up. Spice of life.” The way TK responds once again shows how uncomfortable he is with the change. Replying with “Catan is spicy” after she left. The second example is from season 2 episode 6 when TK finds out he’s going to have a little brother. This might just be me but it seems a little out of character for TK to be jealous of having a sibling. It might be a bit if a stretch but if I’m right it could easily be attributed to that.

Sensory Issues

Okay so I can only think of a couple examples of this but will start with this one . The never ending collection of hoodies. He obviously is very attached to his hoodies. To the point where in his coma dream his mom (his subconscious) says “so many innocent hoodies lost their lives that day.” We also often see him wearing his hoodies after a particularly stressful day, but he wears them all the time. Like he has an endless supply. Where does he store all of them? The second example I have is a little better. It’s from season 3 episode 3. At the beginning of the coma dream TK is hearing a beeping noise and he doesn’t exactly know what it is but he has a very strong reaction to the noise. The specific part I’m talking about is at 1:20 seconds of the video that I’m going to put a link to. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B7uSxmVt6XE

Bad at Telling Hunger

Another very common autistic trait is not being able to tell when they are hungry, thirsty, etc. I can only find two examples of TK with showing this trait and that is in season 3 episode 13. TK says “I think I’m going to skip dinner tonight. I’m not really hungry.” Carlos responds with, “You always say that and end up eating at 2 am.” Based off of Carlos comment this has happened multiple times. Another example is in this same episode more towards the beginning. Carlos asks TK if he wants to change before they ate and TK responds with the fact that he already ate, leading Carlos to say he can’t survive on donuts alone. In this case TK had actually already eaten. But it is also implied that this has also happened before.

Bad At Metaphors/Subtext

I can think of at least 2 examples for this one. The they are both in season 3 episode 17. The first one is once again related to catan. When Nancy says that her and Mateo are both over it. It’s pretty obvious that she is speaking of something other than Catan. I know he didn’t know they were together but she was implying something with the way she said it. TK wasn’t picking up on that at all. He was just confused as to why she wouldn’t want to play Catan. The second example is later in the episode when Nancy and Mateo say they are going to get coffee. Everyone in the room is confused but you can tell they are talking about something else and are going to let them leave. TK on the other hand says they have coffee there. Not even thinking about the fact that they might be talking about something else.

Literally His whole conversation with Iris

Honestly I have no way to describe this but TKs who conversation with Iris in season 4 episode 2. When he goes to talk to her at her job. The whole thing is just I don’t know how to describe it. I can’t find a clip but the conversation is just two neurodivergents talking to each other except both of them are confused.

Going Non verbal

I have no actual confirmation that he goes non verbal but I do have a couple of examples that could be taken that way. The first on being how his mom says he shuts down. When the paramedic team gets kidnapped Carlos goes to Gwen and Owen’s house looking for him and she says something along the lines of “I knew we should watch him when he shuts down like this” Tk is usually pretty talkative but during a particularly stressful situation he is weirdly quiet. Such as in season 4 episode 9 when marjan is missing. Everyone else is asking questions and expressing their worries and he is just sitting there completely quiet. This happens multiple time throughout the series and I don’t feel like showing them all so you’ll just have to watch to figure it out, but trust me it happens.

I could probably have found more examples but I think this is more than enough information to prove my point. Anyway…

[thenerdofthegroup]

Halloooooo

Another theory brewing…

So I’m writing my document and have done analysis of a lot of what we’ve been given. The posters today, brilliant, trailers and teasers and clips, brilliant, Agatha pretending she doesn’t care when she actively needs these people, a mood.

But I came across a fun little easter egg that may help understand later parts of the show AKA what I am calling ‘The Wicked Scene’ AKA Lilia’s trial.

(I have spent an hour looking at pixels and it spells out the most basic plot but I'm sharing it because I'm proud of myself so be nice)

In this scene in the Coven Roundup teaser, we see a new second of her trial:

So clearly this is a card reading. I will show my thoughts of what each card are and a short explanation (that I copied from the internet so I’m sorry if they are slightly wrong):

Top Right: Page of Swords. Upright: Caution and Weariness. Reversed: acting hastily, deep mistrust based on the past

Top Left: The World. Upright: Success, achievement. Reversed: close to completion but are stuck

Middle: Ten of Swords. Upright: Extreme situation, violence, destruction that comes with an ending. Reversed: denial, going down a painful and wrong road but leading to no definite ending

Bottom Right: The Hanged Man. Upright: rite of passage through mediation and sacrifice. Reversed: not letting go, getting stuck

Bottom left: Wheel of Fortune. Upright: Changes ahead, good luck, advancing. Reversed: luck turns for the worst

So we know that this scene is already deadly. And I swear to fucking god if Lilia dies-

Now it’s important to note some are upside down. But this depends on who’s seeing them. If it’s the chair with the sword in or the opposite. And there is one out of frame and one below the Ten of Swords. But it is clearly describing that this is most likely the 6th or 7th episode. I’m under the belief that each episode is dedicated to a big trial that is dedicated to a person so surely the last three will go Rio, Billy then Agatha? But this does seem to be an end one. Maybe they are going more on story. Or maybe it isn’t one trial per episode. But this is spelling out:

This situation is one of the most dangerous, they will need luck and critical thinking to get out of it, good luck is either there or not, and in the end they will need a lot of caution and care to get what they want. And I think this is mainly directed at Lilia (since it’s her trial) but also Agatha because I think there will be a lot of twists in the end… don't know what haha but I feel there will be!

And I am such a nerd I ended it with ‘And that’s just a theory……. A FILM THEO-’ I need psychological help my god. Or a girlfriend to rant about this too. Both help

Can you tell I’m writing this at 00:37 at night!

Anyway, like I said… pretty normal stuff for a show but I spent an hour doing this and looking up the meanings so I wanted to share! Have a good evening

Ps my document is at 74 pages... This is getting insane. I also may make a post adding onto trickofthelights tarot card deck because you helped me a lot in my analysis so thank you 🙏 and that took me 4 hours and I don't want it to go to waste. Took me 30 minutes to find what a Quatrefoil was called…

[sparkagrace]

for the wrapped playlist ask game:

Stucky & number 12

Hi anon! Thanks for sending me a prompt! #12 on my list was Love You For A Long Time by Maggie Rogers.

tags: post-CW, canon divergence, fluff, early morning, established relationship, pillow talk

And in the mornin’ when I’m wakin’ up I swear that you’re the first thing that I’m thinkin’ of I feel it in my body, know it in my mind, oh, I I’m gonna love you for a long time

There’s a lot to love about their Brooklyn apartment. Heated floors, for one, which is a luxury he wishes they had back in their century. 

The thing he loves the most is how at ease Bucky seems to be in their home. For a long time after he came back, there was always a wariness around him; in the tense muscle of his back, in the clench of his jaw, or the suspicion in his eyes. As they’ve settled, so has Bucky. He’s all around their apartment, from the bookshelves filled with dog-eared paperbacks and sprawling plants, to the soft blankets and candy bar wrappers that find their way stuffed between the couch cushions. This is home and Bucky is happy. 

And it makes Steve happy too.

One thing that they don’t love about their apartment is that it overlooks a small park that includes a soccer pitch — that has early morning weekend games. There’s the sharp sound of a whistle and then shouts and yells from three floors below them. 

Bucky groans, voice muffled by his pillow. “Please tell me it’s a normal time.”

“It’s just after 8am,” Steve replies.

“But it’s Sunday.” Bucky rolls over to face his boyfriend. “We need to move.”

“We love this apartment.”

“Just for the weekends then.” 

Steve's laugh is a low rumble. He’s been awake for half an hour already, happy to just listen to Bucky’s soft snoring and the sounds of their city outside until the kids and their parents slowly filtered into the park and filled it with noise. 

“Wanna go to brunch?” he suggests. Neither of them are fans of brunch but it seems to be a thing that people do in this century. Bucky likes overpriced lattes and Steve likes the pastries that always seem to be mashing up two different foods. Cronuts? He’s a big fan of those.  

Bucky lets out an irritated huff and glances towards the windows where their blinds are still closed but the early spring sun is creeping through. It’s warm under the covers and Bucky likes to spend at least forty minutes dozing on-and-off before actually getting up to face the day.

Steve likes this time too, with their legs tangled under the covers and their fingers grazing the lines of their bodies with no other intent than just to be close to one another. They talk about a lot of things, not just the plans for the day or things they want to do that week. Sometimes Bucky will ask about a memory — now less unsure than he used to be — and other times he’ll talk about something he wants to do in the future. It makes Steve’s heart leap whenever Bucky talks about months or years down the line. 

It means he’s going to stay. (Not that Steve really doubt it, but it’s nice to hear anyway.)

This morning Bucky is talking about how they used to play baseball down at the park when they were kids, but at least they had the decency not to play so early on Sunday mornings.

“That’s cos we had to go to church, Buck,” Steve reminds him. “We’d play in our Sunday clothes and get clipped around the ear.”

Bucky’s hand automatically goes to his ear at the memory and it makes Steve’s heart clench in the best way. There’s another loud whistle and Bucky groans, closing his eyes sleepily and launching into a rant about how soccer isn’t even American so why does he have to be subjected to it when he’s old and retired now.

To think that five years ago, Steve was in this new century alone. Now he has this.

“Thanks for coming back to me,” Steve says, a few minutes after Bucky’s quietened and the pull of sleep coaxes him down from his complaints.

Bucky pops an eye open and smiles.

“Thanks for coming back for me.”

[asiadoesstuff]

Ok then.

Calling all my Fandroid Theory Enthusiasts!!: @splat1987 @1dklikesthings @bluartist @pawsometoons @bugsinspace @killer-arcade @roseverdict @therealdragongirl12 @crossover-fraternity !!

So, the Recent Livestreams…

I’m gonna theorise the heck outta these.

25/3/23

So, the 1st Live…

Before the Live started, there was a poll. It was titled “Lore?” With two options: Yes and No. The Poll’s results ended with Yes having 96% of votes, whilst No had 3% of the votes.

The Live starts. Fandroid and Melody appear to be playing an Obby Game. Everything seems normal; everybody in the chat is asking if there’s any Lore, and debating if they’ve been tricked.

At some point, a message from Chat is read out, about Target. Then Fandroid goes onto talking about a trip he took to Target; he hit himself on something, saying he “hurt his leg-bone.”

Robots don’t have bones. In fact, Fandroid pointed that out himself in the chat.

The Chat starts discussing. A popular theory that was made in these 5 minutes was the Fandroid on the Live is an “impostor.” (I swear if anyone says anything remotely related to Among Us…)

The Stream carries on. After a bit, Fandroid posts another message in Chat.

Business Bot has been missing for a week, apparently. Chat eats this up like a fine meal.

The Stream goes on, Fandroid saying some things which aren’t specifically Note-Worthy, but you know…

After a while, Fandroid & Melody leave the Obby game they were playing and join ‘Shovelware’s Brain Game’. Around halfway-through the round, Fandroid sends this into the Chat. And it sounds good! (At first…)

…Oh.

That doesn’t seem too good.

So Business Bot is gone, and Fandroid found one of his wheels. Either Business Bot accidentally smashed his wheels off, or something must’ve done this. Most probably the second one, since from what I know, Business Bot doesn’t leave his station, and there’s not really anything that could cause this type of damage near it.

…And it seems Business Bot’s disappearance isn’t the only one.

So something’s kidnapping the robots; It couldn’t be humans, because Fandroid already established all the humans are dead. Who could it be?

Cue a couple more silly (/pos) comments from Fandroid, which I will not attach here because there is a limit to how many images you can attach.

Stream goes a while without any Comments from Fandroid.

Then Fandroid sends something to the chat. It isn’t anything important, it’s just… surprising.

?????

Huh???

Anyways…

After 3 minutes of silence from the Fandroid Account, it sends something again.

That’s good! And hey; we know Frogbot’s still here!

Anyways…

Whatever’s taken Business Bot either: Dismantled him, or didn’t need his wheels. For what reason? I don’t know…

Info about the Holodeck!

There’s one thing that’s putting me off, though…

Why is Fandroid talking in 3rd Person?

Anyways: Stream carries on, and there’s nothing Note-worthy from Fandroid for the next 32 minutes.

But I just wanted to say…

…Language Fandroid. 😡 (/lh)

Anyways…

After a while, the Stream comes to an end. It was fun! And Loreful! Everyone is saying goodbye!…

…But it doesn’t end.

Fandroid & Melody start speaking about something, that they assumed was Private. But, we heard everything…

Here’s the Clip of Fandroid and Melody’s ‘Private’ Conversation…

So, the reason why this is a Double-Stream Post was because Tumblr refused letting me post videos, and by the time I tried all the ways for it to work, it was already Friday… so I’m just gonna have to send a link from someone else’s video—

This is alot to take in.

So, there’s a New Robot named 404.

Named after an Error Message.

Frogbot apparently saw 404 and drew a picture of it.

Theories for this Live…

Listen, I know this might sound insane, but…

What if 404 is like an Ennard-Type Situation?

All these Robots have disappeared out-of-the-blue, so it could make sense.

Maybe that’s why Business Bot’s wheels were found, but not Business Bot. 404 maybe didn’t need wheels so it just dropped them somewhere random.

But if 404 made itself a body, then what is it internally? You know what I mean?

There’s not enough evidence to completely prove my theory, but hey; what’s theorising without a risk you’re completely wrong?

That’s all from me. We’ll have to see what happens Next Stream…

1/4/23

What just happened?…

What.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

I think my ‘404 being an Ennard-Type Situation’ Theory is True.

Let’s just see the Clip…

Let's list some facts...

So.

Something tried to hack into ADHOC's System; presumably 404.

Fandroid starts panicking, and Melody is trying to calm him down.

BEEP-0 is the one making announcements.

Fandroid and Melody start to try and make this situation less serious.

Fandroid and Melody eventually end the Stream early.

Now onto some Theories...

So I think 404 might actually be an Ennard-type situation. From what we heard from BEEP-0's announcement roll-call, Business Bot and Frogbot's statuses are unknown. We already know Business Bot is missing, (possibly dismantled), so I'd assume Frogbot has suffered the same fate... I mean, they did draw down a picture on what 404 looked like, so maybe 404 took Frogbot out because of that? Or maybe because 404 needs extra parts for it's new body.

Fandroid at one point questions why BEEP-0 "always is saying that negative things are happening when positive things are going on, but the second the scary things happens he says everything is ok"... I think that might just be BEEP-0, but I'll note this down just in-case something happens with BEEP-0 in the future.

And that's about as much as I can remember...

There's defintetly more Theories in my brain, it's just I'm too tired to remember them... (It's Midnight when I'm posting this...)

But that's as much as I can remember at the moment!

Also, another thing... You know how BEEP-0 said that the thing that was trying to hack the ADHOC Systems was an "amateur" and that how they were "The G.O.A.T"? Well...

I think it managed to hack into something.

[winderlylandchime]

Hello!! I love how we are all hoping that Jordan brings back the podcast, i need those two besties back so badly. I feel like they have so much stuff they could talk about especially now with the strikes, it’d be fun to hear their take on it. I am honestly not ready for him to find out how the filming and the aftermath of the show was on Gale and Randy. I know he’s gonna lose his shit to find out how some people were towards them (especially since his idea of Gale in his head is obviously different and in his mind Gale and Randy are bffs like how he is with his friends.) but also i think he will be shocked to find out they both kind of stepped back from the show and had certain issues with it. He did storm in my room randomly today and went ‘IS THAT WHY THERE WAS LESS SEX STUFF?!’ Which btw it was 10 am when he did that, I barely knew i was awake. Basically he was up almost all night thinking about the finale and the podcast (he is once again that conspiracy meme) and he realized in later seasons there’s less sex scenes and now he is distraught that maybe it’s because Randy was uncomfortable. He was having an entire crisis over it. While I don’t know what all i will show him/what he’ll see on his own (i wanna show him bts content and like obviously anything else i can find) but i will be keeping con videos/posts FAR away from him because some of those are the worst things ive ever seen in my life, no offense to anyone. I will say, If you or anyone has any ideas what else I should show him, let me know because he has been losing his mind begging me to let him listen to more of the podcast.

As for our mom, i swear that woman is actually pretty chaotic herself but unlike my brother she hides it better. Both of our parents are insane but for some reason only he doesn’t even make an effort to hide it. She did get a long email sent to her by my brother because she was ignoring his calls and he wanted to talk about s4 finale. It was titled ‘IMPORTANT! NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SHOW’ and then it was almost a short novel about the show.. He wanted to hear her thoughts since he is still undecided about Justin not saying yes to moving in. And he wrote a little bit about the podcast and he also asked her if she thinks Randy would like him if they met (clearly he is feeling a certain way about this) which caused a different crisis, a much bigger one: would Gale like him if they met. That crisis lasted almost 2 hours btw. Anyway as a reply to the email she just forwarded it to our dad who forwarded it back to me to tell me to ‘change the wifi password.’ And then I immediately got a call from my mom about the podcast asking me if it’s about the show and how he already has enough weird hobbies and why can’t I get him into something normal like a pottery group or painting group or something with normal people around. And then I heard in the background our uncle who went ‘after all the stories about him talking to DOCTORS, you want to unleash him on a person who is not medically trained?’ So he is now being encouraged to stay home and watch tv. Also: he is currently talking to his best friend about the finale, while writing down mind maps and lists of what he thinks season 5 will be. He’s having a bit of issues with it because the LA offer apparently fucked quite a lot of things up for him so his original list no longer makes sense. He is also talking to him at the same time (he’s jumping from topic to topic) about Gale and how shocked he was that Randy didn’t enjoy the qaf fame. I don’t know how this became my life. More importantly I would just like to say: i cannot wait for your new fic! I mean your last fic got us here so I can’t wait to see what happens next. But also bearded Brian>>

The podcast talking about the strikes would be amazing! I was hoping we would get a Barbie movie episode but alas. I really want to hear the besties talk about Greta Gerwig.

I have never seen the con clips and I’m grateful. I have too much secondhand embarrassment to sit through that boundary-crossing behavior and invasive questions.

I LOVE that your parents were like “change the wifi password” and uncle was like “unleash him into the world?” and they responded “jk never mind.”

I personally think Gale and Randy are still friends but we would never know with the one proof of life per year Gale gives us and Randy being tightlipped about his time on the show.

Wait until your brother realizes that one of Randy’s partner’s is named Justin (or is that the kid? either way there’s a Justin!)

I am dreading his reaction to S5 but we all watched it so he must as well…

And, yes, bearded Brian >>>

BUT I saw your request at the top - folks let’s start to pull together a post-S5 education for all necessary BTS for Brother Anon to fully understand QAF! In box me or comment on this post.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Well, I got here. Listened to the entire John Oliver-era run of The Bugle between late March and June 2022, had a small breakdown and decided that clearly the end of this means nothing gold can stay and there’s no future to look forward to (to be fair to me, the way John Oliver left the podcast was really drawn out to be as painful an ending as possible, also I had some difficult stuff going on in my actual life and being upset about a podcast was just a projection of that, but even considering those mitigating factors, I still got more upset than a podcast hiatus warranted). I then spent a few weeks unable to bring myself to listen to any other episodes because I thought I’d just spend the whole time refusing to like the new thing and being upset that it wasn’t the old thing, until the coup against Johnson occurred in early July and not enough topical comedy shows were running so I turned to The Bugle to get some takes on it, and I realized that I actually can get through a non-Oliver-based Bugle episode without it being the end of the world. So then I went back and started listening to the post-Oliver episodes from the beginning of them, with a bit of a rocky start as my brain does object to change, but as it went along I got used to them and began to accept that sometimes some things can be good even if they’re not exactly like the things I liked before. Maybe.

That was 177 episodes ago. Here I am at episode 177, the last episode of 2020, the famed reunion episode, featuring John Oliver back on the podcast for the first time since he unceremoniously (and seriously, very slowly and painfully) fucked off in 2016. And really in 2015, since he was gone for the last seven months of 2015 even though they kept putting out filler episodes saying he’d be back imminently, but he didn’t come back until one episode in March 2016 and then almost one more 2016 episode but that one didn’t really happen, and then they kept saying they’d get it going again until suddenly he showed up in June said actually he’s done, and seriously, John, you’re a wonderful person but that was not your best handled situation, professionalism-wise.

Anyway. That said, here we are in December 2020, and here they are, and I’m feeling a completely normal and healthy number of emotions about it. Like three or four emotions - five tops, I swear. They started putting out videos of some Bugle recordings earlier in 2020 and I have not watched those because this is meant to be an audio newspaper, but obviously I’m watching the video version of this one. This video has come up in my YouTube recommendations many times before, of course. I’ve seen clips of it shared and referenced on this site a couple of times. I have always resisted the temptation to watch any of it, thinking I’d appreciate it more if I save it for when I actually get there in my chronological Bugle listening. And here I am.

So far, I’ve just started watching it and I have one comment: at 5:17, John Oliver says the words “fucking disgrace”, but it gets bleeped out, as swear words almost always do on The Bugle. Just after that, you can see Producer Chris look down and clearly make a note. I’m pretty sure he’s marking the timestamp so it’ll be easier when he goes back later to censor the swearing. That is somewhat like something I do when I listen to The Bugle, or for that matter any other podcast or TV show episode, and I hear something of sufficient interest for me to think I should write about it on this blog. I mark the timestamp in the notes app on my phone, so I can easily go back there to cut out a video or audio clip and upload it here, and/or type out a transcript of what was said, and/or just re-watch/re-listen to it so I can remember what I wanted to write about it. To often since starting this blog, I have spent too much time searching through episodes of something to try to find the little snippet I wanted to write about, and I save myself a lot of time when I note timestamps as I go along. It makes me inordinately happy to see Producer Chris do something similar to that, except with swear words he has to bleep out.

[lqfiles]

THE BOOKMARKING EVERY TWEET NAURRRRRR WHEN UR FOMO JUST HIT TOO HARD LIKE THAT😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok literally the exact same thing when they went to LA for that starstruck thing but we had no idea wtf they were doing so ppl kept posting such random clips like guys... that should be me... Oh dont even worry about me its like impossible (riize mentioned?👀) for me to go go tds FOR THIS YEAR AT LEAST. I gotta lock in school like ive never locked in before so sadly i am retiring from being dreamzen daughter for a bit 🥹🥹

OH THEYRE NOT READY INDEED WE'RE ABT TO TERRORIZE THE STREETS WITH OUR HATER TWEETS AND BRAINROT THOUGHTS 🤫🤫 plzzz make a main ill deadass follow even if im the only follower #loyalty also im not sure if ure okay with receiving dms but if u are and u give me the green light.. i might hit u up 👀 stay tuned 👀

AUGJDHEHDH ALSO GHE NEW PROFILES AND DESCS ARE SOOOO CUTESY AND PERFY I LOVE IT SM IM LOWK GETTING LIT but im like here from the beginning of the smau ik im gonna dai waiting for updates. Like with stg i came across it and got hooked AF so it was chill... but now ig we gotta play the nonchalancy 🚬

LOOKING FORWARD TO THE AU THO EEEKK i be checking ur active status like every once in a while and be like Damn i wonder what lqfilesnim up to rn?🤔

- 🍮 (ur fav)

DOMT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE STARSTRUCK CONTENT ISTG WHAT HAS LA DONE FOR THEM TO DESERVE RHAT PRIVILEGE……. they got to dance with them got to hug them got to play with them got to talk to them, should i just kill myself? starstruck preparations was so funny tho because they announced it like 4 months before the actual thing came out 😭😭😭 we all thought we got lied to they were playing too much istg, i loved that content tho it was fun to see them interact with strangers and get admired from afar (tho some moments were a bit errrr… that girl who acted like she knew mark and mistook him for got7 mark like oh that’s not???)

I CANF LIE THATS THE BOTH OF US HDHSJDHSK it’s just that i rlly wanna go at least once 😭😭 i should be focusing on studies fr but the fomo is tooo big and i heard they’re gonna perform bungee THATS MY TOP 3 SONGS I HAVE TO BE THERE OR I WILL DIE. i hope you still get to somehow go tho, the both of us should be able to experience such a fun moment 🥹

when yoy and me become mutuals and you find out just how hateful i can get like daaaamn you really negative that much..? but DONT WORRY YOU CAN BE ONE OF MY FIRST MUTUALS IF RHAT HAPPENS #LOYALCHINGU. tbh i hate the dming on here a lot but you can 100% message me i swear!! i feel like people are intimidated by me but i swear i’m so approachable and down to earth yall 💔 i need friends on here anyways because i swear it’s hard to make friends on here (i normally immediately log out of here and go to my other account after i post tho so be warned if i respond late hshdksj also i’m a bad texter.. confession..)

WE GETTING LITTY ASF IKTRRR i kinda can’t wait to post the rest i already got chaps ready and a good chunk of the plot too. I WILL TRY TO UODATE REGULARLY!!! i updated every other day with stg you guys will survive i’m sure, hang in there aegi, lqfilesnim is cooking🙏🏽

[unknownjpegs]

unexpected

There’s a pattern forming with this house, this door. Visitors. Except this time —

“Amma?” Benji asks, his face slack with shock at this latest guest. He’d heard a card coming down the drive, and he’d opened the door and — and it’s her.

She’s walking up the gravel path, their path, one hand lifting her the hem of her skirt and the other elbow weighted by that giant tote bag she’s had since the can remember — since he left at seventeen, actually. He’s got no idea how she overloads it well past full like that and still keeps it looking brand new.

“Saha gave me your address.” Prick. Traitor. Benji scowls. “How come you didn’t invitee me yet, Benji?”

He closes his eyes and pinches his forehead. She is, unfortunately, a human lie detector. And even if she wasn’t, Benji has always found it nearly impossible to be dishonest.

“Did you drive?”

He holds a hand out to help her up the steps, but she

“I’ve had company, amma. A’right? Sorry.” He says, taking her hands and leading her further in. “I’ve just…I’ve been trying to find the right time to…to ask you ‘round.”

Shrewd as ever, she narrows her eyes. “Right time, ah? Company?” She stands on her tiptoes, swatting at his shoulder knowingly.

Fuck’s sake. Benji’s face heats up. She always knows.

“Ah-haha,” she wags a finger at him, one eye narrowed victoriously, her mouth quirked.. “Was taking a guess. Knew it — you’ve always got that tell.”

It hasn’t been long since he visited her, back before Xavier — well. Moved in, he supposes. She’s never been here. And, partially by choice, he has never spoken about Xavier.

Where would I fucking start? Is the first question always pinging around his skull if he tries to think about the possibility. Can’t just tell her I’m seeing a wanted mercenary, now can I? Not even that — defected one. Probably got warrants, hasn’t he? Can’t tell her I’ve let him move in, either. That I — that he’s here to stay.

The absurdity of it hits him square in the chest. As things have gone, it’s a strangely normal thing to wonder, to worry after: how am I meant to introduce this person to my parents? So the laugh starts within him but sticks against his diaphragm with a putty, thick swell of relief.

It’s absurd because it’s funny, and it’s funny because it’s absurd. This is all they’ve got to worry after now, for the most part. Little things. Mundane, normal, little things. He taps into the well of worry that had, on more than one occasion, nearly upended him into its depths. A gunshot, a looming lieutenant, something to chase after in the scant moments, in the dark. Wariness for their lives, for each other, in case they couldn’t manage to keep the secret. In case they weren’t careful — weren’t sneaky — enough.

Fuck’s sake. Benji does not ever want to have to think of Xavier in terms of a secret to keep or hide away with or squeeze precious, tiny moments together. They’ve got time now, so it feels like a disservice to muddy that with anything other than transparency.

Benji stares down at his mum and smiles. He’s also missed sharing things with her. Can’t think of a better place to start up again, than with Xavier.

 “Fuckin’ hell. You’re gonna press it ’til I drag him out, huh? He’s asleep.”

She points at him with that scowl again, prodding him in the chest. “Swearing.” She warns. “Pfft. Sleeping. It’s nearly noon, isn’t it. What do I care, ok? Sleep. Go wake him up.”

He missed her so much that he’s gotta scoop her up right there, squish her in a hug until she splutters and laughs and swats at him. So her, making demands. He missed the melodic, endearing swing between languages much more than he realized. Feels like home, listening to that sweetly clipped standard accent next to the curled lilt of vowels.

He thinks of that — feels like home, thinks of the other body in his bed, of putting such a surprise on him, and balks a bit.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He cringes at the lie. “Just. I think he’d like to prepare for these sorts of things, yeah? Maybe you can —”

“That was a forty minute drive, Benji. Nearly an hour!” She swings her bag from her shoulder, knocking him with it and then meandering into the kitchen. Starts rifling through his fridge as if she owns it. “Do you have fruit?”

“No, amma, but —”

“None, eh?”

“Listen, I —“

She looks over at him, eyebrow raised warningly. “Do y’know how much I spent on petrol to get up here?”

He snaps his mouth shut around another but that threatens to burst out, feels the concerned pout twist amusedly. She flaps her hand in the air, go on, Benji, and begins pulling glassware and plates from the cupboard (first try, like she knows already where they are). Fresh fruit and other ingredients from the seemingly endless confines of her bag.

“I’ve got stuff here.”

She stares at him. “All right, want an award then? G’on. I’m cooking.” And waves him off again.

He’s grinning stupidly, a cheeks-hurt sort of smile, when he slips a knee onto the mattress next to Xavier’s hip. He’s facedown, half under the blanket with his jumper rucked over his ribs. Got too hot, but not too hot to kick it off.

“Xavier,” he whispers, heart clenching affectionately, a well and proper squeeze, when he gets a soft and content sigh of his name back in return. “Awh, sorry. Shit. I am so sorry for this.”

One green eye cracks open, fuzzy and heavy-lidded. That pressure returns to his chest. It’s ever present, these days. Because Xavier is ever present. “Mm?”

“Amma…my mum’s —” Xavier turns, slips a hand up his arm and pinches his elbow. Makes him interrupt himself with a huffing laugh. “Fuckin’ hell…Xavier. My mum’s here.”

“Where else would she be,” Xavier mumbles, rubbing his cheek into the pillow and then stretching as he finds Benji with slightly more present eyes. He feels, as he always does, a bit stunned by their hazy, content sleepiness he sees there. The love. “The fucking moon?”

Benji snickers and runs a hand down his back, smiling at the arch Xavier bends to chase the touch. “Xavier, not in the fuckin’ country. I mean she’s here here, yeah? She is here in the house. She stopped over.”

Xavier sits up, making his hands slide off his body. “She huh?”

Benji holds them palm-out instead, waving assuredly. “In the kitchen, at least.”

Fuck, does he look spooked.

“Here?” It’s nearly a squeak.

“Relax,” he chuckles. “I know this is — this is a lot, right? But she’s not about to leave.” He twines their fingers together, one handed. “And m’sorry, but…I’m not gonna try and get her out. Or act like you don’t fuckin’ exist, or ask you to hide, or any of that.”

Benji’s unspooling a bit as the seconds tick by, the more thought he puts towards this entire situation. His heart’s kicking up, hands going rather clammy, so he wipes one anxiously on his thigh and then tucks it up under Xavier’s jumper.

His face is a mask of…not dread, really, but the expression is fit into a strange, unrecognizable thing on his face. A careful behind a mask of genuine concern; eyebrows pulled so tight that the little furrow appears between.

“I could try and tell her you’re sick, but she’d come up here with food.” He grins. “Or she’d us liars.”

Xavier takes a long breath, shuts his eyes for the duration of it and even the next inhale. Then, blind, he slaps his hands to Benji’s cheeks and kisses him quick and firm on the mouth.

“Nah. We’re good.” He swings himself up, nearly rounding Benji in the face with a knee. Unaware of himself in a way that probably attributes to the nerves. He’s got his hands in front of him, wringing a bit and his shoulders drawn.

So Benji follows him as he disappears into the closet. He’s genuinely looking so frazzled that he’s looking at the wrong side, at Benji’s hung clothes, and the hangers scrape back and forth — flicking through them without any choice being made. Probably too in his head to even perceive them.

“She doesn’t care, Xavier.” Benji says softly. It’s meant to be reassurance: earns a slight head tilt, I hear you but I’m over here right now, in response. He sighs again and touches a square of skin where it peaks from Xavier’s bunched up pullover. He jolts as if it’s a shock, which it’s not, or Benji’s hands are cold, which they aren’t.

“You could wear that.” They both look down at Xavier’s cartoon-print sweats and the dark jumper. When their eyes meet again, Xavier is looking at him as if he’s grown a second head.

Benji chuckles. “Mate, you’ve literally gone and defected a fucking — ” he lowers his voice, glancing at the door. “Whatever. She’s barely up to here, okay? You’ve got it.” The side of his hand knocks against his shoulder.

“She is your mom, dude,” Xavier hisses. He laughs anxiously, turning back to the rack of clothes. “I…I’m losing my shit right now.”

In the end, he gives in to Benji’s coaxing and settles on the same sweater with a regular pair of jeans. He debates on rolling his sleeves, on fixing his hair, on wearing socks, on finding a pair of good shoes, fixes his hair again, stares at himself in the mirror.

And they finally they head back down. Benji leads the way, his hand behind his back as they descend the stairs. Offering, fingers up. Xavier takes it and squeezes.

She’s over the stove when they meander into the kitchen. Benji goes over to peer into the pot, and Xaviier stands — well, he’s standing awkward as fucking anything in the center of the room.

“Ma’am,” Xavier says all proper.

It makes his mum laugh. That big, loud cackle that seems as if it’s too wild and filling of space to come from such a tiny woman. Xavier jerks his head to stare at him, blinking rapidly. Eyes wide, kicked-dog sad: did I already do something wrong?

No way to formulate a response quick enough, because his mother darts forward and claps her hands together before grabbing for Xavier’s, holding them in front of her face and gesturing up the length of him. “Like a tree, Benji, goodness. Oh, look. What’s this about, this sad posture? Sit up.”

 He startles a bit when she moves in quick tiny steps around his side, slips behind him to smack a hand to the center of his back. As high up as she can reach, anyway. The top of her head barely reaches his bicep.

“You’ll be a hunched old man if you keep that up,” she chides.

“Mum.” Benji sighs, exasperated and amused. He’s grinning, eyes finding Xavier’s and offering him a couldn’t stop her if I tried sort of shrug. “Leave him be.”

Except Xavier squares up right away, the straight line of him more about authority and respect — military, the look about him that he gets sometimes, rigid in a way that makes Benji hide a laugh behind his hand. Hard to imagine his mum in any sort of place like that, so he doesn’t.

“Kayalvizhi,” she says, retracting a tiny hand to put it to her chest. “Kayal is fine, or Kay. Whichever’s easier.” She shoots a wink at Benji. “Mum if you want, lots of kids still call me that.”

 “Okay,” Xavier says shyly, offering her a smile as she slips back around to stand in front of him.

“You were just a right chore for clothes, weren’t you?” She snickers, hands on her hips. “Right to the sewing machine with everything, I’d bet on it. What’s your name?”

“What’s your name,” Benji translates with a slight grin. It’s automatic, habitual; necessary, because she often forgets that she’s switched. Or, sometimes, she slips into it because somebody’s annoyed her — stranger, so they don’t deserve the focus of English, or her children, and they’ll be forced to put the effort in to translate for her.

Evil, he thinks fondly, shaking his head at Xavier. Apologetic.

“Uh,” he says, hands coming up and holding his fingers. “Xavier James Wolffe.”

His mum glances over her shoulder at him, thumb pointed at Xavier and her mouth pursed down in an amused pout near her chin: get a load of this guy.

“Well, Xavier, I won’t be using the whole bit.” She teases, patting the nervous mess of his hands. Benji watches as they unfurl a bit, let her tuck her tiny ones around his fingers. “Hope that’s okay. Now we’re all proper introduced…you’ll give me a tour, hey?”

“I—” Xavier pauses, nervous eyes flicking up from her face to Benji, stood behind her. Sheepishly, he grins. Shrugs. “Sure. I didn’t get a chance to make our bed, though.”

Benji’s face heats at her head-tossed laugh. “Oh it’s yours then too, is it?” She tosses an impish waggle of her eyebrows back at Benji. “How long?”

Fuck, if that isn’t a loaded question. One that Benji struggles to pin down, too. When had it started full-force? When was…that point?

“Um. Few months.”

“Months! Bastard.”

Xavier snickers.

*

They get on immediately, but Benji had a feeling they would. His mum was the favorite out of his friends’ parents growing up, because she just…radiates it. Warmth. Like a tiny, beacon coalesced of understanding and peacefulness. He knows it’s not something everybody had growing up, and she’d known that too. So people like her, especially if they’ve had a rough go. She lets them in.

Benji watches the pair from inside. The tour had gone well, noisy chatter and laughs and hushed, secretive voices as Xavier showed her the rooms.

Here’s the bedroom: oh, must be you in charge of cleaning, then, his room has never looked like this. The dining room, the living room, the empty upstairs rooms where Benji’d like to fill the space, eventually. He hears Xavier chatter and talk about their days, ask after hers, brag about the places that Benji has fixed or improved.

And now— now he watches from inside. Because the last place he had wanted to show her was the pond, their ducks, and Benji…Benji needed a moment to process.

She’s crouched next to Xavier along the shore, her posture perfect but making her look no more tall next to him. He’s since stopped pointing out specific birds, probably sharing all their silly names. Now their heads are close together, nearly touching — intimate in a way it would be if they’d known each other for much longer.

He can tell even from the distance that they’re speaking. His mum’s head bobs in that animated way when she’s particularly engaged. Xavier’s is tilted to the side, listening.

And then as he’s watching this silence, private conversation unfold, Xavier suddenly loses his balance. He lurches forward and then back to avoid face-planting into the water, legs kicked out. Clearly laughing — a bit hysterical if the pink on his face is an indication — and splayed out in the grass.

He gets fussed over, because it’s just rained that morning; she pats at him, prods at his shoulders. Benji can almost hear her telling Xavier to get up, he’ll get his clothes wet, he’ll catch a cold, make sure to eat the soup she leaves, to stay warm, and —

That’s my mum, Benji’s brain stutters into a churn of short, deliberate thoughts. That’s my mum with Xavier. Out in the back. By the pond. They’re sitting there together. That’s my mum. A couple months ago, I thought I’d never go see her again. And that’s Xavier. Couple months ago, I thought he was dead. And before that, I thought I would be.

Benji sways a bit and leans his shoulder against the doorframe, fingers tight around his mug. What a normal fucking thing that is. Just a daily occurrence. Parent meeting a boyfriend. Something that normal people do in an average, peaceful life.

He’s got no ringing in his ears, no gun in his hands. Nobody’s blood sticking his fingers together, making the gloves uncomfortable. The television’s got a Tetris menu idly chirping a song Benji would now know in his sleep, and his boots are lined up neatly at the door where Xavier had put them when they’d gotten home that morning. Next to his mum’s.

Because his mum had shown up. She’d invited herself in, told him to get Xavier awake, and they two of them had met. Feels like two parts of him slipping together in a way he’d never dreamt they might.

Benji blinks, vision suddenly fuzzy, and wipes off the fat few tears that roll down his cheeks. The vision of the two of them at the pond blurs.

*

Later, she asks the question Benji’s been dreading. How did you meet?

It’s directed at Xavier, who spares a shifty, unsure look towards him. Just as incapable, if not more so, of lying to her at this point. Maybe before they’d had a chance to talk. But now: I can’t, that look says. I can’t. I’ll spill it all.

So Benji offers parts of the truth, and leaves the bits she doesn’t need to know. Not just because she’d be horrified, but because she likes Xavier. He can tell. And Xavier likes her. Any other details, any full truths that he could offer, would make her shy away. Would devastate her. Maybe make her scared of him permanently. Can’t have that. Especially…especially because it…

Might also scare her, discovering some of the things she doesn’t know about Benji.

But those are things she, if he’s got a say, won’t ever know.

That’s sad in a way; most of what he’s been through is something he’d cradled in his hands and then offered to her. Bits of him, things that happened because he was there, because she’d raised him and gave him everything he needed to get that way.

But she’d had no hand in…that. So she didn’t need to know everything.

Benji shares some of it to answer her question. What she needs to know to understand, because he desperately wants her to: our units worked together. I didn’t like him at first. And then I did. A lot. And then he helped me a few times, and I got…got hurt. And he helped me then too.

She knows about the discharge and about the injury. He’d waited specifically until it was fully healed to tell her — bits she didn’t need to know. She’s smart, his mum. She’d put it all together, his absence and the period of silence where he couldn’t return texts or calls or letters. The awfulness of that tearing, rending injury was obvious.

 She had made him show her.

And she had done what she does now, when Benji tells her he helped me. She reaches across the table, where they’re eating the meal she cooked, and puts her hand over his side on that injury. Stares up at him with her big eyes, his eyes, and then with her free hand, pats Xavier’s arm where it rests.

“That’s sweet,” she says, voice shaky. “That’s very sweet. A very good story, okay? Thank you.”

For coming home. For helping. For sharing.

*

They turn to each other once the door’s closed, and stare for so long that the sputter of her shit car startles them both.

“She’s so great, I —”

“I am so fuckin’ in love with you.”

They say it at the same time. The soft, gentled look Xavier’s been wearing for the duration of her visit slackens a bit and then rekindles in a bright, beaming smile. He reaches for Benji’s face, cradles his cheeks: we are going to kiss right now.

“She’s cool.” Xavier says, dropping their foreheads together. “The fuck happened to you?”

“Oh! Dickhead.” Benji hisses, and throws an arm around his shoulders. Tugs hard, swings him to the side. Expecting to launch him into the couch, but Xavier’s cackling — manages to lock his arms around Benji’s middle, hands fisted in the back of his shirt. They bounce off the edge in a heap, shoving and laughing and, eventually once the giggles have ceased enough, kissing. Kissing.

Quite a bit softer than usual.

[jigensass]

So I have done nothing but play Like a Dragon Gaiden for the last…16 hours.

And here are my thoughts so far.

SEMI-SPOILERS AHEAD. I’m currently somewhere in chapter 2 out of I do not know how many and I do not know how RGG managed to crank this out in six months.

I just got to point of unlocking sub-stories for a frame of reference of how far I am in.

Yes, I heard this was supposed to be DLC (for what I assume was Yakuza 7 seeing as the story starts in Yokohama and the story crosses over with it for a mere moment), but eventually turned it into an entire two-part game.

I personally have nothing to be impressed about it. This is a standard game in the Yakuza/LAD series. You do not have to impress or disappoint me. Yakuza 6 already was the worst disappointment to the series alongside Kiwami 2, so the bar was low for this.

Okay, the graphics have impressed me a bit.

The fucking car graphics went so hard in that opening scene.

I will say the fighting mechanics have improved and it seems that either this DLC was supposed to be the groundwork for Lost Judgement’s combat or the other way around, the main mechanic of switching between two different fighting style where one is quick and used to get rid of a lot of enemies and the other is used to take on single enemies is nothing new.

The spy mechanics are a bit clunky to pull off because I always have difficulty doing so in the way I want to use them because another new thing I noticed is that the AI for the fighting is somewhat more competent (I’m playing on normal) and will dogpile you given the opportunity. They also like to spam the block button thank god they gave Joryu a block breaker early on. (This is my first major nitpick)

I have ran into a few bugs, just some small clips and weird physics, but nothing like 6 or Kiwami 2 had where dead men jettisoned into space which is good.

And then I got to this part and I felt unsettled.

Like…why? For reasons of game mechanics just why. I’m 100% certain they managed to sneak a porn star into one of these scenarios. Just like how they used porn stars as VAs for the cabaret girls in Yakuza 0.

But then Kiryu says this

Personally I think Joryu is pulling a reverse 4th wall break and trying to get with real life waifus instead of those fake ones. This means Joryu is fully sentient of the world he is in is not real.

I do want to gloat right now I am currently in the 0.4% of the game’s population who has both cabaret achievements.

Also HOW CAN RYUJI AND MINE DIE ON SCREEN BUT IT HAS BEEN THIRTY ONE YEARS SINCE MAJIMA ENCOUNTERED THIS OLD WOMAN AND SHE HAD YET TO KICK THE BUCKET

I swear she is immortal.

The biggest major complaint I have right know is why do power ups have to be spent using both money AND the special points from the Akame missions? Why not just ONE?!

I know for some reason Joryu literally punches dudes for money in this game but tacking the Akame points on as a necessity to do side content is…unlike RGG. Side content is side content for a reason. The completion list was not a shock or a groan for me, the groan came when if I wanted to grind, then I actively had to interact with that list, which because of this some of the feats on the list are manageable and easy to obtain, or the objective is easy to manage.

I understand if you just casually do it, but so far I feel the Akame stuff should have been saved for a later chapter (you know, like how Yakuza 0 did it?) so the real story could settle in and get players invested?

Spoilers Ryuji is not alive he is very dead the Ryuji in the ring is a fake he had me fooled too for a hot second.

[mfmilligan]

In the Midst #6

So this whole time I’ve been in one of the Daisy Hill houses. I’ve been in either the basement or the kitchen pantry. Thinking of the shadow people I saw, I’ve been too scared to go back out. But I’ve also worried if one of them will show up here. I mean, these are homes. And no one lives where they work. So…where else would the shadow people go?

     There’s just one problem right now. I’m starving and there’s no food in this house. It’s now 10:00 AM. I’m thinking I’ll stay here until noon, then I’ll

     I hear something in one of the other rooms. Sounds like static. Really loud static. Maybe a TV? It’s freaking me out – and what if it attracts one of them?

     I’m going to turn it off.

     Holy crap. Where do I begin?

     So I walked into the living room where the TV was. The moment I was about to shut it down, the static cut to a channel.

     For a second, I couldn’t make out anything. It was just clip after clip sped through. Then it settled on news footage. But the news anchor – I swear, if this was normal reality, I’d say I was hallucinating.

     The anchor…she was just a pair of huge lips on a body wearing a red pant suit. I was so stunned by her strangeness that I didn’t pay attention to what she was saying at first.

     “And now for an important announcement! We all know that visitors tend to come and go around here. Individual visitors usually pose no problem. However, it seems we’re experiencing a spike of them recently and too many visitors means too much trouble. So please pay attention to your screen as we display all known visitors present. If you see one in your local area, please notify the proper authorities.”

     A slideshow of faces, names, and countries began. The pictures were grainy, mostly black and white. It gave the people’s faces an uncanny appearance. They looked like photos you’d see on missing persons posters and gave you the sinking feeling that whoever you looked at might not be alive anymore. Quite a few were from the U.S, but many more came from all over the world.

     When the slideshow switched from a woman in Malaysia to a guy in South Korea, the footage froze, turned to static, then became blank.

     A second later, I heard the familiar dots and dashes. Morse code. They appeared on the screen.

     . . . .

     .

     . - . .

     . - . .

     - - -

     . . - - . .

    I copied them down before they disappeared. The TV cut back to the big-lipped anchor.

     “Apologies, viewers,” she said. “It seems we’re experiencing some technical difficulties.” Her reedy fingers with glittering nails clutched her papers tighter. “Please watch the rest of the –”

     The slideshow cut her off. Only a handful more showed up. When it showed the final “visitor”, my blood ran cold.

     It was my face. My name. My home country.

     And now anyone and anything that lives here sees me as a threat.

     I didn’t pay attention to the anchor’s closing statements. As soon as the TV cut back to static, I turned it off.

     Looking at the code, I recognize the O near the end. Seeing the double letter before it leads me to believe that the word is probably HELLO. Maybe that last symbol is a question mark.

     Someone really is trying to reach out.

     It’s noon. I haven’t seen anyone or anything moving beyond the windows. I’m going back to the Sweet Tomato for food, but…I’m at a crossroads.

     Whoever is out there, I should respond to them. It’s obviously not safe for anyone to be alone here. And having an extra set of eyes would be helpful in finding an escape (if there is one).

     The trouble is this brings me back to my original mission…the one that resulted in me hiding out in Daisy Hill.

     It was bad enough when the eye-shadow-thing scared me. Knowing there’s an actual formidable threat out there changes everything. There’s only one of me. There were at least 50 on that one floor. Who knows how many more were in that building? Or any of the other buildings I haven’t explored?

     Also – and I’ve been in denial about this the last several hours – I think something’s wrong with me. Remember how one of those shadow people touched my face in the elevator? I didn’t notice any differences immediately, because, well, I was escaping, then sheltering from a tornado, and above all else, stressed. But now the part of my face he touched is cold. Really cold. Tingling a bit, too, almost like dental anesthetics.

     I really don’t want to entertain the thought that this could be anything serious.

     Made it to the Sweet Tomato. I’ve eaten and now I need to formulate some kind of plan.

     My thoughts so far:

I need to see which building(s) could be a radio/TV station based on outer appearances (to avoid wasting time exploring inside)

I need to figure out the shadow people’s daily routine so I know when’s the best time to sneak around

I need to sneak around without being seen

     This last point will be tricky. Since I’ve been announced as an intruder of sorts, I can’t simply wander around in the open like I used to. I think the first best step would be monitoring the shadow people. The Pink Mall is just outside White Collar Avenue. If I hid out on the roof, I’d have the perfect birds-eye view. Hopefully I can access the roof from the outside, because if the mall is still flooded – well, I don’t want to have to go up through the inside. After all that, I can worry about sneaking around.

     I’ll start this whole operation early tomorrow. That way I know the complete day in the life of the shadow people.

     Slept a couple hours, but my dream woke me up. I know it’s just a dream, but…

     I was wandering around in this world in a field between two cities. It was a sunny day but it didn’t feel cheery. Every step I took felt final, as if I was in a scene just before the end credits of a movie rolled.

     I came across a large open well. I didn’t want to fall in, but a mysterious force pushed me. Down, down, down into darkness. The air grew colder the further I fell.

     Suddenly all was bright and I was falling towards the sky – until I wasn’t. My back collided with the ground, leaving me too stunned to breathe. When I sat up and looked around. I was in the park I always went to as a kid. People were everywhere. Even my mother and siblings were there. I ran up to them and I started telling them what I’d been through. But…they didn’t hear me. They didn’t even see me. No one at the park could, no matter what I did. The sun dipped down and everyone left. When I woke up, I was crying just as I was at the end of the dream.

     It’s been a few more hours and I’ve almost given up on sleep. I've been read through this journal I’ve been keeping…I have a lot of thoughts, but I’m not sure how to articulate them. I only know a few things.

     I should leave this town. There's no reason why I should stay here, especially with all the dangerous stuff that's happened. And with no escape that I can see around, that's even more reason to move on.

     I should forget the plan I made. Maybe the Morse messenger and I will cross paths one of these days. I hope we do. But I need to find a way out of here more than anything. My sanity won't last long in this place.

     And…well, I don’t know if this last thing is a good or bad thing. After exploring the Familiar Schools, I said I should stop acknowledging anything familiar or remembering my life before. That because none of it mattered here and it only brought me down, there was no reason to keep bringing it up. But I don’t know. Remembering real-life stuff did bring me down…but at the same time, it was an anchor of sorts. Something that reminded me that there was a different reality, that I didn’t have to belong to this nonsensical nightmare I’m trapped in. And the more I’ve accepted my fate, the worse things have gotten.

     I’ll try to get at least a couple or more hours of sleep. Once I’ve officially woken up, I’m packing plenty of food and batteries and getting back on the road. Maybe I can’t escape this world just yet. But I can escape this town. Tonight is the last they’ll hear of me and my stupid Weather Channel music.

     This is the right call to make. I know it is. And yet I can’t help but feel like this is the most cowardly move I could make.

     Coward.

     Not for nothing, though. If anyone else walked into this world and saw all the shit I’ve seen, they’d understand. Hell, most would probably wonder why I haven’t just been hiding in some building all this time. I don’t even understand why I haven’t just been hiding this whole time.

     I guess it’s just…this whole time I was exploring, I haven’t just been looking for my way home. I've been trying to understand this world. What it is, how it works, its past (if it has any), anything about it that makes any lick of sense. And failing to understand even this town feels like I’m failing myself. Failing my survival, failing my sanity – just failing everything.

     Whatever. I’ve made my choice. I’d rather be on the move than wondering when the shadow people will find me. I’m getting out of here no matter what.