#I’m very passionate about this

[1800-lemon-boy]

Friendly reminder that a lot of the characters that blatantly show autism traits are overlooked (Will, Jason) or seen as strange/scary (Nico, Leo, Annabeth)

<33

[kingofwinter283]

i actually hate talisa maegyr. i think her whole plot with robb was so stupid. like in the books robb’s marriage with jeyne is this tragic situation that’s really a culmination of the stress and grief that robb has been going through and unable to truly process because he is a child trying to lead his people in a war. he gets injured and then learns that his former best friend has just betrayed him, captured his home, and killed both of his younger brothers which adds to growing list of loss in his life. his father got executed, his sisters are being held hostage, his best friend betrayed him, and now his brothers are dead. so while he’s injured and kind of being consumed by his grief, jeyne westerling is there to comfort him and they do the deed and this only makes things worse because of how robb was raised and instilled with his father’s honor, as well as seeing how jon was raised, robb feels compelled to marry jeyne to preserve HER honor which ends up being his downfall. but nooooo in the show robb falls in love with foreign beauty talisa maegyr and dies because he’s an idiot and couldn’t keep it in his pants. like don’t get me wrong i love robb’s scenes in the show richard madden call me i just think the story could have been so much better and been true to the tragedy that it is in the books.

[carmenberzattosgf]

do you think carmy is a boobs type of guy? or ass? Maybe even thighs...? 😵‍💫 It's plaguing my poor brain and I need a professional opinion helpppp

- 🐝

Boobs. He has too many mommy issues to not be a tits guy. Thighs are probably second

[littledollll]

Yeah yeah big boobs and all that, but can we appreciate the soft, big tummies? Can we love on the back rolls? Can we kiss and worshiping all the cellulite and stretch marks? Can we PLEASE pay some attention to big, squishy, comfy arms?

[traditionallymodern]

haikaveh parent trap au haikaveh parent trap au haikaveh parent trap au haikaveh parent trap au

[subdueriot]

i feel like we as a society should appreciate the nuance between “hahaha” and “hehehe” a bit more

[tangerinecherrygal]

the author had a chance to tell a really powerful story w acosf but instead she broke nesta down until she wasn’t herself anymore. She subjected her to more abuse on top of the trauma that was already affecting her and left her isolated and without much support.

ik it’s ‘not that serious bc it’s just a book’ but as someone who has really bad mh struggles, like a lot of us do, it’s a bit disheartening. her suffering is just an inconvenience to the people around her which is such a fear of so many people with psychological problems have. Like if it’s affecting you, imagine how tired we are.

worst of all she had no true happy ending. she’s been through so much and her healing is still in progress but she’s stuck with a man that doesn’t even seem to like her and surrounded by the ic that openly despise her. how is her healing supposed to continue under these conditions?

If you have a mental health struggle: you are not a burden and you deserve company that accepts you as you are and doesn’t treat your struggles like it inconveniences them. <3

[rubberbangin]

oh god what I wouldn’t give to go back in time and hit fat bong rips with stoner dan avidan

[unblissfulawareness]

Maybe it’s because I’m an adult and I’ve got first hand experience, but I do think it’s entirely unfair to make damning assumptions about Schwoz’s character based on calling the kids baby girl/boy.

It’s literally an affectionate term. That parents and grandparents regularly use. And with the amount of time Schwoz spends with them he could qualify for either role.

Why is it so easy to see Raymond can’t-see-past-his-own-nose Manchester as dad figure, but so hard to see Schwoz literally-never-puts-himself-first Schwartz in the same light?

[stardust-sunset]

billie ellish is so fucking delusional like “gUyS nEvEr GeT bOdY sHaMeD bEcAuSe GiRlS aRe NiCe” shut the fuck up. i’ve seen my own brothers get made fun of because of the way they look. i had a close male friend develop an eating disorder because a girl made fun of his appearance. like as a girl, i can confidently say girls are much more mean than guys. especially when it comes to physical appearance. like shut the hell up, i’ve seen male cosplayers being told to lose weight because they don’t look the part. look at the elon musk shirtless picture, people were calling him like a slug ‘n shit. look at any male celebrity. you never see an overweight male model, do you? so why when you have a plus sized female model it’s attractive and revolutionary but then if some guy looks a liiiittle too baby faced it’s “LOSE WEIGHT” or something. don’t even get me started on what short guys have to go through. i’ve heard all the insults, like come ON! like guys get body shamed just as much, if not more than girls. they just aren’t as vocal about it. and it’s complete bullshit that’s she’s saying all guys are seen as perfect like get a reality check.

[dawnstaley]

some guy on twitter is claiming that michael phelps was doping and all the talk about his freak of nature qualities was just to cover it up don’t piss me off

[sweeetberries]

Istg I’m about to take my email off of Duolingo because I KEEP GETTING THESE GOD DAMN EMAILS

Tf you means he made sourdough bread like what 😭

[lilysandhyacinths]

FIGURE SKATER/ICE SKATER DORCAS

OKAY picture this it’s Hogwarts (modern or magic au) and the lake is frozen over so Dorcas goes out there with her skates and absolutely crushes it

As a kid her mother forced her into ice skating and she thought she would hate it but she ended up loving it

+ her trying to teach Marlene how to skate but she keeps on tripping 😭❤️

[bella-but-not-hadid444]

today my mum bought me a new cardigan, and (bless her) just picked it up thinking i’d like it, which i do immensely! the downside is that it’s horridly fast-fashion. i realised the 2nd time i tried it on that the buttons were not sewn on properly, thread was hanging off and worst of all- the button holes were literally just holes in the fabric. they weren’t surged or closed off correctly which could make tearing and damage occur MUCH easier.

lucky for me i enjoy idle sewing and tailoring things for hours on end. but for the average person who doesn’t, this is just so crap, like this is the first time where i’ve fully had a realisation moment that we’re so fucked. i feel so fucking guilty now because 1. this was made to be disposable and 2. what are they paying these manufacturers and workers?!!? like genuinly? 3. my mother (and by extension me) has participated in fast fashion.

this is everyone’s reminder to shop second hand as much as possible! and take good care of fast fashion garments in order to extend their lifespan! there’s so much cool shit in the world already, not everything needs to be bought new

[sondheim-girly]

Last night at about 1am I sent a string of voice memos to my friends, ranting about the head theater critic of the New York Times, which is so iconic of me

[audhdnight]

Okay friends gather round because I’m here to talk about porn (this will be a long post).

Specifically, why it needs to be safer instead of banned, why it’s not inherently harmful, and how a lot of the harm associated with it is straight up prejudice.

I recently got drawn into an argument about this (i know, I should know better, but I guess this time I didn’t). People love to talk about how the porn industry is harmful because it’s “addictive” which makes it dangerous, or because it makes men do bad things.

I want to say first that this is just feeding into the “all men are inherently bad and violent” shit which I do NOT support because it is not true. A lot of men in patriarchal society are violent, yes, but only because that society tells those men they can have whatever they want, they can take it if we won’t give it to them, and there are no consequences for this behavior. This apathy is conditioned. If you never hold a man accountable for his actions and the ways in which he exploits others, OF COURSE he’s going to hurt people. This issue exist less with women because societally, women are conditioned to give of themselves to the point of burnout, to always place other people’s (most often specifically men’s) wants and needs and preferences over their own. Not because women are biologically less violent or selfish.

Now, there is something to be said about the ways in which certain kinds of pornography portray sexual relationships. In heterosexual male-centered porn, the woman is, more often than not, merely a vessel for his pleasure. She does what he wants, in the positions he wants, because he is the focus. This kind of porn is often characterized by a POV that makes it look as if you’re watching through the male actor’s eyes.

This kind of porn, especially if it is a man or boy’s introduction to sexual relationships/pleasure, can encourage them to see all women this way. If you teach a boy that women are meant to serve his whims because that’s just what women are for, of course he’s going to continue seeking out this kind of media. This is an example of societal prejudice and how it influences everything we do. It does not mean that pornography makes men misogynists.

The second point I want to discuss involves why I say we need reform and laws that keep people safe from exploitation, not a ban on pornography as a whole.

When I told the people I was arguing with that this is what I personally advocate for, they tried to say that I was admitting porn is bad, “because it hurts people.” One man said that I couldn’t possibly dismiss the experiences of real people hurt by the porn industry by saying porn isn’t harmful.

I want to make it exceptionally clear that I am absolutely not dismissing anyone’s experiences. I am well aware that many people are hurt by the modern pornography industry and have been for as long as sex work has existed. But I also want to make it clear that this is not because sex work is bad. It is because people get trafficked, and people often feel like they have no other options because of economic and life circumstances. Some people who entered the industry willingly, who even enjoy their work (crazy concept, I know) end up leaving because they were pressured into certain acts that they weren’t comfortable with. Some people get recorded without their consent. Some people have to leave because of harassment (and yes, sexual harassment IS a thing, even for sex workers). Some people feel like it is a path they will enjoy, but discover it’s not a kind of work they want to do. Some people find it incredibly draining. Some people’s coworkers make for an unpleasant or even unsafe work environment.

There are hundred of reasons someone might leave sex work or be harmed by the people they work with. This doesn’t mean that the work itself is morally wrong. Which is why I say that we need laws in place that protect sex workers from exploitation, and we need people in place to actually enforce those laws (rather than the slew of pedophiles and rapists we have in office right now, or the police officers who let traffickers off the hook for bribery - the financial kind and the human kind).

My third point involves the lack of any scientific backing for the claims that pornography is inherently harmful. While anecdotal evidence absolutely has a place in the discussion, and we should never dismiss someone who was hurt in their time in the industry, this is not scientific. Neither are sermons, unfortunately for most of the people I talk to about this. Usually when I ask for a study backing their claims - just one single peer reviewed study - I am offered this:

The very first thing I want to point out about this paper is that it is not a study. It is essentially a personal interest essay. Just because a work references other works does not make it credible. The man who wrote this paper is a religious fanatic, first of all, and while his Phd does actually appear to be real (oftentimes I get referenced to people with fake doctorates) that does not automatically make any words he writes factual. Several of the footnotes include links that look pretty legit but actually lead nowhere. A couple are just surveys where they asked religious families if their children struggled with mental health consequences from pornography, which is again anecdotal evidence at best, and definitely not a peer reviewed, credible source.

Secondly, if you read this paper you may notice that in a few places Fagan claims part of the mental toll pornography takes on teens is the shame and guilt it creates. Gee, can anyone guess why a sexually repressed teenager in a conservative Christian purity culture home might feel ashamed of indulging in sexual pleasure?? My personal “porn addiction” guilt went away when I realized that I wasn’t hurting anyone by watching it, and my sexual pleasure was not sinful or dirty. What fixed my mental turmoil was letting go of the shame, not letting go of the thing that made me happy.

All of this is to say that the shame and guilt around teens watching porn does not come from the pornography itself, but from the adults around us who tell us we are dirty rotten sinners who are going to burn in hell for wanting to feel good.

Fagan also talks about the consequences of pornography on children, without ever addressing the fact that this is harmful because usually if a child is viewing porn, it is in the context of grooming. I’m not advocating for showing your young child pornography obviously (please don’t do that) but it feels incredibly irresponsible to say that we need to ban porn because “if a child is groomed with it that hurts the child”. In his list of reasons why pornography is harmful to children, Fagan also includes things like it can be upsetting for a child to overhear their parent engaging in “phone sex”. Surely I’m not the only one wondering what that actually has to do with porn…?

Now, I’m not saying that no one is ever engaging with pornography to a point of harm. But this is still an issue of misattributed blame. If someone is watching porn in excess, using it as a coping mechanism of some kind, that is a problem that has very little to do with the porn they’re watching. People fill holes of emotional and physical needs in all sorts of different ways. My cousin ended up on crutches because she went through a rough breakup and dealt with it by running. She overdid it too many times and injured herself, but no one would ever say that means we have to ban running.

My main point is that safe, consensual sex work is not harmful. If consenting adults wish to have sex, play sexual games, record themselves, watch a recording of another consenting adult, or do literally any other kind of sexual activity - that is perfectly okay. We don’t need to shame them or condemn them for wanting to feel pleasure or for working a job in which they bring other people pleasure. This is purity culture bullshit.

And on the subject of teens - it is literally the most natural thing in the word for a teenager to feel curious about their bodies and desires and to want to explore that. Again, I’m not advocating for showing your teenager pornography, but If they find it themselves that’s a wonderful opportunity to have discussions with them about safe sex, boundaries, consent, and all the things. You can even talk to them about it before they seek out the porn. You can teach them about masturbation, and let them know that these desires are not shameful or bad or dirty.

I’m also really tired of certain people insisting that porn is “addictive” because it produces dopamine in the brain. Wanting to feel good is not a crime for fuck’s sake.