#I'VE BEEN COOKING ALMOST EVERY DAY NOW AND its going from this fun creative endeavor to a task I'm not even thanked for!!

[the-acid-pear]

I'm sooo frustrated with my dad atm. I'm exhausted in general as previously mentioned but my dad's refusal to solve anything which directly affects me because I depend on him. Like I'm fucking disabled that's the thing and the more I'll stay the same if I'm not given the tools and help and etc I need.

[prettiestgirlintherapy]

List of things I'm grateful for because I never had any security or things that I wanted as a kid (I grew up vv poor and neglected)

💕 A clean room with a theme I've cultivated. As a little girl I always wanted a pink room with a vanity and a canopy over the bed, with plenty of plushies and oddities scattered about. I've made my room my own personal happy place.

💫 I have art supplies and plenty of outlets for my creativity. I never had money growing up, but I had so many crafts that I wanted to pursue that cost a lot for supplies. Now I can practice embroidering, crocheting, painting, digital art, and sculpting. I even recently got into candle making. I greatly appreciate the ability to try out new endeavors just to have fun and create new things. It helps nourish my inner child.

💐 I have a boyfriend that appreciates and loves me in a way that fosters my growth. I feel supported and he always brings out the best in me. Hes my best friend. I was hurt by a lot of men growing up, and I never thought I would meet someone so kind and gentle. Now I know true unconditional love is possible.

🌱 I planted a garden with my boyfriend and made a cozy outdoor area to relax in. I always dreamed of having my own garden and learning about plants, but living in an apartment made this impossible. Now I have dozens of beautiful plants that I love to watch develop, and I become a better gardener every day. I sit in the sun with my cat, and we listen to the wind chimes.

🍅 I have the money to buy ingredients to cook my own meals and experiment with food. I love to cook, but couldn't explore it when I was younger because of poverty and food drought. I used to eat 69¢ McDonalds hamburgers daily when my family couldnt afford anything else. Now I make nourishing meals and feel secure planning my groceries for the week.

🧸 I have close friends that really care for me and want to see me. I was bullied as a kid for many reasons, and had chronic social anxiety because of my familial abuse as well. So I didn't make many real friends til I was in 8th grade. Many of my friends from this time and high school are still with me, and we have life long connections. I'm so lucky to have found the people that understand and love me the most.

✈️ The trips I've been on in recent years. I never went anywhere as a kid because, you guessed it, we were poor. So now, as an adult that can afford to travel occasionally I am astounded by my reality. I never would have imagined seeing the places I've been. I love nature, and my boyfriend and I often go to rural places in Virginia, Georgia, or North Carolina. Seeing the beauty of the world was such a big ambition of mine as a kid so I feel fulfilled whenever I can indulge my inner child. I never saw snow and visited Alaska, and making my first snowman brought back a sense of wonder I'd almost forgotten.

🏡 A house without my abusers. Self explanatory.

🐥 Pets that are well taken care of with all the supplies they need. When I was young my family hoarded and kept a ridiculous number of cats. We had sixteen by the time I was nine, and my house was in shambles. I would go to school smelling of cat litter and get bullied. Now, I have three birds that have a big cage, lots of toys, good food, and all the love they need. After the pain of seeing family pets neglected, its healing to give my own pets the love and care they deserve.

🚗 My own car and a license. My parents weren't around to teach me to drive, or take me to the DMV, so it took a long time to get my license. I finally got it at 22, but I'm still learning. I now drive manual, and I have the car of my dreams 💫. I never thought I'd be able to learn to drive on my own, much less afford a car.

📒 I have good grades at school. When I was in highschool, I often skipped school and did poorly due to low attendance. I was very troubled and depressed because of my home life, and I never thought that U was capable of academic success. Now, in college I have straight A's and am almost done with my first degree. I'm proud of myself for finding motivation and holding myself accountable for my progress.

🧦 I have clothes that I actually enjoy and feel suit me. I only had hand me downs and goodwill clothing as a child, and I rarely had any real say in what I wore or presented myself as. I never felt as if I knew how to outwardly express myself, and clothes were just something chosen for me by circumstance and availability. Now I can actually express my own style and aesthetic interests and I feel more like myself.

🩰 I started going to the gym regularly and doing progressive weight lifting. I also experiment with other exercises, like pole fitness and yoga. I was an overweight and often unhealthy child in a lot of ways. I'm grateful that I've worked on my previous standards of self care and enjoy seeing what my body is capable of.