#I'd love it even if it wasn't star wars. it's just great tv

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Andor is like if they made a political drama that was so good that most of the time you didn't even remember it was set in space opera universe

[randomfandomblabdom]

I love original scores, so you bet I listened to the Survivor score. Also because Stephen Barton is one of the composers and he worked on my favorite tv series of all time, so I had to lol and I thought I'd share some thoughts:

Mild Disclaimer: I do have some musical training though not much but I've always had an ear for themes and their uses, so that's what I usually focus on.

First of all, Cal's theme might be one of the most versatile themes I've heard in the last couple of years. It is played SO often in both the Fallen Order and Survivor scores but it never gets annoying because it's played in so many different ways. Sometimes it's played so subtly that you don't even know you're hearing it. For those who don't know it, this is one of the clearest instances of his theme in the Survivor score (1:05-1:46). One of the very first things you hear in the game is a variation of part of his theme in a very dark and sinister minor key (0:15-1:45). It's played the second you see him which immediately sets a clear distinction between the Cal shown in Survivor and the Cal from five years prior in Fallen Order where it's typically played in a more heroic yet innocently somber type way but as far as I remember (correct me if I'm wrong), it's never played in a minor key in that score but holy shit, it's minor and darker ALL OVER Survivor and in a way that just gives you that "mom, I'm scared, I wanna go home" type of feeling. Fallen Order Cal's theme has a very naive youthfulness to it whereas Survivor Cal's theme just feels... drained. There's a heavy weight to it that wasn't there before. My man Stephen Barton understood the assignment here.

Just to point it out, the theme that's widely considered to be the main theme of Fallen Order is actually Cordova's theme (1:10) which is an interesting artistic choice in and of itself and yes, it does play when he's introduced in Survivor (0:13-0:35).

Merrin has a theme (1:00-1:20) which I somehow completely missed during my first listen to Fallen Order. Shame on me, I know (yes, this track is from the first game but it's a really clear version of it) and you'd think it'd be some mystical sounding shit but it's actually this really interestingly almost hard and strong melody (1:13-2:04) that can be incredibly soft when it needs to be. It's what plays during her and Cal's first kiss. It's only the first few notes (5:40) but that's sure as hell what it is - those notes are the entire reason I even found her theme cause I was like... Barton sir, what the fuck is playing there??

Also, her theme works as the basis for the action cue that plays during the portal jumping scene right after said-kiss which makes perfect sense considering it's her powers being used and it gets a kickass action rendition as a result (2:08-2:19 and 2:50-3:10).

Cal and Merrin do have a love theme and yes, it's exactly what you think it is. You know that weird-ass Fields of Dusk - Orchestral Version on the soundtrack (actual theme starts at 0:45)? Yeah, that melody does function as a love theme. You hear bits of it throughout the rest of the score as well, most noticeably during the campfire scene (2:35-2:50) and during their second kiss on Jedha (2:30-2:55) where it just pulls out all the damn stops.

I really hope Stephen Barton and Gordy Haab get a chance to compose for other Star Wars projects because they truly have done some great things with these two scores. This might be a hot take but I also think it's the closest a not-John-Williams composer has gotten to a John Williams sound.

[denimbex1986]

"Hi, I'm Emily Blunt."

"Hello, I'm Cillian Murphy."

"Hi, I'm Matt Damon."

"And we're here with - and we're here with The Hollywood Reporter, talking about our Hollywood firsts."

"It could have been Star Wars because I'm a Star Wars kid but - "

"But everyone's a Star Wars kid."

"Yeah."

"I know, but it's the first time that like, because I was seven - "

"Yeah."

" - it came out in 77, I was pre; in the summer I was probably six. It was the first time that I ever went and got completely captured by a movie experience where, where I was taken to some other place that I didn't; and I just thought it was amazing and I wanted to be Luke and Han Solo. I wanted to be all those guys, and so I went home and immediately started dressing up like them and playing like them and, you know -"

"Well the - one of the first films I remember watching was 'Old Yeller.' Did you guys ever see that movie?"

"Yeah."

"And I remember being just like, destroyed by it, and wanting to do a movie with a dog."

"The first audition I went on was for 'The Four Feathers', that Shekhar Kapur directed."

"Oh my god, really? Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Heath did it."

"Heath did it. And I ended up doing the table read for him, even though I knew I wasn't going to get the part, but I was like 17 and at a table read with Heath Ledger and I was like: 'Oh my God.'"

"Oh, the first audition I did was for a, for a play in Cork called 'Disco Pigs' and - "

"And you got it."

"Yeah, and I'd never done anything before in my life; it was my first professional gig."

"Actors love hearing that story - my first audition, I booked."

"Nailed it."

"And nailed it."

"Yeah, but you know that, you know that confidence of youth where you just -"

"Yeah, you don't think about it."

" - you don't know anything so - "

"Yeah."

"The first big Hollywood paycheck I got in my mind was I got twenty-five thousand dollars for doing a mo - a TV movie called 'Rising Sun'. And, I bought my brother a car and I put my mum through her PhD program and that, that was a really cool feeling."

"I think I bought like a, a record player and, or a sound system. No, because it; record players weren't, they weren't as cool as they are now, were they?"

"Yeah. I feel like I moved out. Like, I think that was the first; I got, I rented an apartment. I feel like that was the first - like, being able to not live with my parents."

"I know mine is a - this animated movie called 'Spirit.' It was the first movie that - and that, that was a good one for the kids."

"Yeah."

"I think that's like the only movie they've seen."

"They saw 'Mary Poppins' - was the first one I think."

"Come on."

"Yeah. I think I put it on and walked away - "

"Yeah."

" - but then I think it's strange for your children to watch you. Like, they have - it's like you really are somebody else and it's disconcerting for them. And it was disconcerting for my kids, because especially with 'Poppins', it's like a - I look different, I had this like wig on, I sound different."

"Well they kind of know you at a soul level - "

"Yeah."

" - and so to see you as something that you, they know you're not - "

"Is strange for them."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Do - do your boys find it strange really?"

"Yeah but, but they're very underwhelmed. You know, they're very unimpressed."

"Suitably underwhelmed, unimpressed."

"They're big Peaky Blinders fans."

"No, they've never seen Peaky Blinders."

"They've never seen it?"

"No. I think they mi -they watched the, the Batman movies - "

"Yeah."

" - when they were old enough. But most of my stuff is highly unsuitable."

"I met Cillian; John and I went to see Cillian's play before we did Quiet Place II together - "

"Yeah."

"I mean, we were so desperate to work with him obviously but - and then when we did Quiet Place II, we were; we were like thick as thieves, quickly."

"It was good fun."

"And it was so great for us then having this kind of shared experience, this shared history, to go be thrust into like a married couple and - "

"I think you get something for free when you work with people that you've worked with already - "

"Yeah."

" - and you've gotten on with; it - it just kind of transfers onto the screen - particularly if you're playing a couple with history. We didn't meet till - "

"No, till this."

" - till Oppenheimer."

"No, till this."

"Yeah."

"But you guys - "

"Till this interview, yeah."

"Matt, Matt doesn't do off-camera; I didn't know if that was public knowledge but - "

"And I don't want other actors around when I'm on camera. Yeah. we met for the audition for Adjustment Bureau."

"In like, 2009?"

"Yeah."

"We've known each other for far too long. Matt lives in my building so I - I'm actually not used to seeing you in regular shoes; I only see you in slippers - it's very strange."

"When we come down for dinner I just wear slippers."

"I haven't seen him in shoes for a couple of years I think."

"It's true."

"I found it so emotional. I remember Chris coming in and it was a staggering script. And visceral and captivating like - the trauma of living with a brain like that was so palpable in the script, and I was so scared I wouldn't understand it."

"It was really overwhelming - "

"Yeah."

" - and, and it was the first script I've ever read, or ever even heard of that was written in the first person."

"Yeah."

"So, it's - Oppenheimer is using 'I' - I'm doing this and I'm doing that, I'm now walking over here, I'm not; and it's like: 'Oh my God.' And so by the end of the script I just; I was totally overwhelmed. And I kind of offended Chris because he came over and I, I - and he said: "What do you think?", and I just kind of blurted out: "I have no notes." Which was, to me, the greatest thing you could say to another writer. You just go like: "Look, look man, I have, I have nothing to say - this is amazing." But, but when Emily met with him like, like a week later, she was very effusive in her praise and very articulate, and he was like: "Well it's better than I got from him. I just got 'He had no notes.'"

"No notes, yeah. Chris was like: "That's a lot better than Damon's reaction to it."

"I think it may have been like, one of the best scripts I've ever read. For -"

"Yeah."

"For sure."

"Yeah."

"And the scope of it and the ambition of it; this, the, the - "

"The ambition of it. The book is so dense and there's so much history, and he's kind of woven all of it into this; it's like every frame of the movie is so dense and rich and packed."

"How was it for you, reading it in the first person?"

"Exhilarating. You know, because it's completely subjective, you know?"

"Yeah."

"And that's what he, he intended to do with the movie was make a lot of it through Oppenheimer's eyes and experience it as, as Oppenheimer was - was experiencing it."

"Thank you for enduring our Hollywood firsts."

[mod2amaryllis]

Lots of people are coming out with their best shows/movies/anime etc. of the year, and since you have such impeccable taste I'd love to hear yours! Only if it's okay ofc! Have a wonderful rest of 2022 and great 2023!

ok this is the only end of year reflection i have the capacity to do tonight, lemme thiiink ummm it was a big year for things tbh!!! I'll just ramble i guess, first up...

TV SHOWS

SEVERANCE: possibly the best first season of a show I've ever seen, and absolutely the best s1 finale of a show I've ever seen, huge ups to @tricktster for recommending it. you've probably heard it a million times but if you haven't, GO WATCH SEVERANCE, it lives up to the hype.

THE REHEARSAL: the magic trick that this show pulls is so bizarre and unprecedented it's like. impossible for me to even talk about. the entire time watching it i was gaping at my tv in open disbelief. it does and says so much in the wildest ways possible I'm still obsessed.

WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS S4: three words, Baby Colin Robinson

ANDOR: I'm not a star wars guy at allll. not even a little bit. my expectations have never been high. but when i saw @variastrix loving it up on my dash i was like okaaay and holy shit. SO good. the prison arc especially was just like OUUUGHH THEMES AND DIALOGUE OFF THE CHARTS!!!

ANIME

SPY X FAMILY: what's especially fun is that we were in Japan while the second part of the season was dropping and Anya was fucking eeeeverywhere!!! everyone agrees with me cannot get ENOUGH of that funny little girl!!! best execution of fake dating trope everr the more convoluted the better.

MOB PSYCHO 100 III: ......like. c'mon what is there to even say. what's there to saaaaay! it's in my top 3 anime ever! the subversion of shonen anime has basically ruined all other stereotypical anime for me forever because it's just. so much better. so much funnier and more poignant to watch the most powerful boy ever strive to be a better person. i love that little guy and his silly conman role model

MOVIES

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE: i feel the same way about this movie as anyone else. saw the trailer, hooked instantly, then when i actually watched it i walked out going "this is the greatest movie I've ever seen??????" insanely shot, cast incredible, the whole premise simultaneously huge as a multiverse and small as an immigrant couple in a laundromat. this movie defined my cosmic outlook on life. that nothing matters, so we should make the most out of what and who we love. in any other year this would've been my far and away fave. but then came:

NOPE: you guys follow me. you've heard it already. this movie ..... this..... FUCKING MOVIE.... haunted me from the moment i saw that chimp covered in blood. it scared me so bad i wasn't even sure if i liked it but then i thought and kept thinking AND I THOUGHT AND KEPT THINKING AND I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING this movie this god damn movie. it's a social commentary, it's a blockbuster popcorn hit, it's about animals, it's about people, it's a creature feature, it's funny, it's glorious to look at it's glorious and i love it so so much. Jean jacket really is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

GAMES:

VAMPIRE SURVIVORS: this game is like if you broke gaming down to it's purest chemical form and injected it directly into your bloodstream. it's a game that might be perfect in its simplicity. it's also really funny that i can be a stinky old garlic man, i like that a lot. it's free on mobile what are you waiting for.

HORIZON FORBIDDEN WEST: i feel so fucking bad for this series not once, but TWICE releasing at the same time as two of the greatest games literally ever made (i still have to beat elden ring oops) because i love these games SO MUCH! they scratch a very particular itch for me which is plenty of upgradable weapons/armor for me to chase, incredibly in depth lore, and post apocalyptic robot dinosaurs. literally no notes. i love games like this that're like "we know what you want. you want to kill a spinosaurus with a bow and arrow and afterwards treat yourself to some incredible American vistas, here, take it, enjoy." it's an incredibly Me game. probably my goty if measured by how much fun i had playing it.

ALBUMS:

BRONCO BY ORVILLE PECK: the biggie. life changer. this beat out pony for me. makes me wanna be a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies so fucking bad i can taste it. like....im already thiiiis close to being a lonesome cowboy in the Rockies and when i listen to curse of the blackened eye on my morning walk, looking at the snow capped mountains, I'm there. I'm a cowboy baby. also saw him live and sobbed he's insane, the talent, he's just showing off he's nuts.

LAST NIGHT IN THE BITTERSWEET BY PAOLO NUTINI: through the echoes specifically. came up randomly in a mixed playlist and swiveled my head so fucking fast. one of my favorite artist finds of the year.

NOPE OST BY MICHAEL ABELS: that's right bitch nope gets featured TWICE, idc!!!

DANCE FEVER BY FLORENCE + THE MACHINE: this is the album to finally get me into Florence + the machine, before i was just into the hits but this album.... King? FREE???? DAFFODIL???????? good god welch

THINGS IN GENERAL

mfucking!!!!!!!!!

FISH!!!!!!!!!! 🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟🐟💙💙💙💙✌️✌️✌️🥰🥰🥰🥰🐠🐠🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐟🐠🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🦈🦈🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

[keldau]

Throwback to the beginnings of my costuming journey. Though this armor has since been retired, mainly due to my unfortunate physical growth, I think back on these times fondly. I like to think the time and care I put into my first build shows, but I may be a touch biased.

The completion of this armor lead to a great many things in my life. Some of the most fun I've ever had, some of the best friends I've ever made, and some of the coolest opportunities I never thought I'd have.

In 2016 I was invited to attend a convention in Salt Lake where I met the man himself, big boss Boba Fett, Jeremy Bulloch. While it was a brief (but incredibly cool) opportunity, he wasn't the only hero I got to meet that weekend. While attending a panel for Mark Hamill, I also got a high five from Jason David Frank (RIP). Another man I've loved and respected for as long as I can possibly remember.

While manning the Star Wars Costuming Clubs booth that same year, along with a new friend, we were blown away by a random surprise visit by Michael Rooker. Though I regret missing this opportunity to get a picture, the conversation we had without a massive group of people interrupting him, is all the memory of the event I need. What a genuinely cool guy.

Over the years my armor evolved and grew with me, but continued to open doors I never thought possible. Growing up in the middle of nowhere, no real money to my name, and no opportunities to truly geek out with the people left in my hometown, I never thought that Comic Cons and costume groups would be part of my life. I had followed what the 501st Legion was doing since I was a kid, and was truly blown away when I saw them on tv marching in the Rose Bowl Parade in 2007. Still, I never thought anything like that would exist in Montana. At that point, the Mandalorian Mercs were just starting, so I hadn't even heard of them yet.

By the time I started college, I was made aware of the existence of the MMCC. Sitting in my dorm dreaming that I'd have the money, time, space, skills, etc, to start a build of my own some day. Then one day in 2015, I saw this helmet for sale from Headshot Props, and I knew it was time. I had to make this purchase. I checked my accounts, moved some stuff around, skipped getting groceries for a few weeks, and 2 months later, there it was in all of its glory. Sitting at my doorstep when I got off work, I don't think I had ever been that excited. I took it inside, ripped open the box, knocked off just enough of the sharp edges to put it on without cutting myself, and low and behold... it didn't fit.

Motivation: demolished. Faith: gone.

I was, frustrated, to say the least. I'm the type of person to take setbacks like this extremely personally because of how often it seems like it happens to me. I set it on the shelf and looked at it for a few days. I knew there was nothing I could do about a return because the dimensions were posted, and I measured my head. It should have fit. I didn't take into account the cheeks of the helmet being a tighter spot, and my bigass fivehead just wasn't gonna do it without breaking the helmet. I had to do something though. I sanded the hell out of the inside of the cheeks to the point that you could see light through them, and I could get the helmet on, though it wasn't a pleasant experience. I then took my heat gun, thinking there's no way this will work, heated the resin just enough to push the cheeks out that little bit extra, and I'll be damned. It was just enough. The helmet was still tight, but it fit, and it was back to game on.

The course of the next few months brought on a ton of changes. I was lucky enough to be working at a sign shop at the time I began this journey, and that shop had a seemingly endless supply of foamed PVC board and a flatbed CNC machine. I was able to trace out my armor design and just have it cut right there! Barely even had to trim and sand anything! It was amazing! I started learning skills I never even knew I wanted. Using a heat gun to form shapes, learning to paint, kit bashing parts to make in-universe looking props, it just never seemed to end! Halfway through my build, I moved, but I didn't let that move ruin my motivation. In that tote was a pile of loose parts and a helmet. Within a month of moving into my new place, it was wearable. Rough, but wearable. Around Halloween that year, I had met up with some local guys that were also building armor, and we handed out candy at the Zoo! It was amazing, and I had so much fun. Met some of my future best friends that day.

Over the years of doing local events, I've been humbled on a few occasions. Mostly from people who joined the group later on that have told me their journey started when they saw me at one event or the other. That's such an incredible feeling and honestly makes all the time, effort, money, stress, blood, and love I've put into this build worth it.

If you've stuck with this post this far, I applaud you. You can probably tell I'm not much of a writer and I'm all over the place with no real conclusion to any of it. I'm really just reminiscing. This weekend I will be parting out this original kit, or at least most of it, in order to help new costumers, new friends, get a foothold in their build, and hopefully motivate them to continue.

If you've ever wanted to build a costume, regardless of what fandom it's for, don't let anyone tell you not to do it. Buy it, build it; piece by piece or all it once, it doesn't matter. Just do it. Solid chance you'll never regret it.

[lairn]

For the tv show asks: 2, 4, 6, 34 and 48

(My app is acting out. I apologize if more than one ask was sent or I fear none of them were...)

Thanks, these were fun to think over!

2. if you could have saved one TV show from cancellation, which one would it be? Mindhunter, which is a Netflix show directed by David Fincher. I actually don't think Netflix was doing its patented cancel scheme. If I remember right, Fincher stepped back and the company didn't want to continue the show without him. Partially I'm sorry about it because it was a good, sort of creepy and intense show, but also I just really enjoyed sharing it with two of my friends.

4. are there any shows you wish could just be cancelled already? Stranger Things. But another one I have more to say about: although I enjoy it, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia's long run has become almost grotesque. The performers/writers know it, and have inserted a sick desperation into the characters as they age into their 40s but continue the same behaviors they had in their 20s. Also, the show has comedic highs and lows, and maybe the writers would be refreshed and more consistent if they moved on to something else. That said, if another season comes out I'm almost certain to watch it (months late) in case it captures the funnier aspects successfully. 50/50 chance of that.

6. which shows do you think are underrated and need more love? Hm, I end up watching a lot of prestige television, so this is difficult. Occasionally I hear people talking about their favorite Spider-Man cartoon and when it's not Spectacular Spider-Man I feel disappointed. For people who weren't around when it came out, I'd recommend Six Feet Under, but that's definitely prestige tv. I recently rewatched Ping Pong: The Animation, which wasn't as good on a second viewing, but it has a great soundtrack and stylistically it's very impressive. I suspect they had a limited budget but they really made that budget work for them, so even when there are a lot of still images the show is visually satisfying.

34. what are your top 5 shows right now? I'm not finished with Better Call Saul yet, but it will almost certainly make this list.

-Breaking Bad (was still excellent on a rewatch, top tier example of writing for television) -Avatar: The Last Airbender (makes me cry every time, great fight scenes, fun world building, epic) -Mob Psycho 100 (although I prefer the manga narrative a little the animation is gorgeous and the show still captures a lot of what I love about the story) -30 Rock (I don't think I would enjoy watching this one as much anymore, but in its proper time and place it was consistently funny and a favorite) -Hannibal (deranged gothic dark comedy romance, beautiful set and costume design, one slump in the writing at the start of season 3 but it's still a great, weird show)

48. are there any shows your friends love but you aren’t interested in? A few friends have brought up The Last of Us to me, but I can't imagine watching it. I'm not partial to zombie stories (the friends says it's not zombies but I know it is) and a trusted source told me it's "fine". A second one I actually did watch but regret: Andor. People hyped it up a lot, but at best it's a 6/10 sort of show. I'm mad at myself for watching a Star Wars asset in 2023.

[notasapleasure]

10 favourites meme

I got tagged by @batri-jopa, thank you friend! Funnily enough I had a long draft of my 10 favourite characters written out and ready to go, though I hadn't been tagged, so this just provides the perfect opportunity to post it! Tagging @stripedroseandsketchpads @erinaceina @notfromcold @bellaroles and anyone else who wants to take part.

I put the characters below the cut because it got long as I tried to justify myself, but I thought I'd copy you and also give a top 10 fandoms by way of introduction for the few new followers who have found me :)

Fandoms (counted as media that I've created fanworks for or actively commented on others' fics for) and what I love about them

The Lymond Chronicles aka tiny fandom: I love all the outsider perspective and unreliable narration around the protagonist, but also I love that he isn't perfect and a lot of problems are caused by his failure to trust people/open up. He has his reasons for being like that, but I like a story where it's clear the hero/great man actually needs those around him (even if they also frequently fuck up and misunderstand things) to get to the end of the story. It's the first series I read since LotR that immersed me so thoroughly in its world - an uncompromising, rich and nuanced take on a huge geographical sweep of history.

And Then We Danced: Oh, it's all about taking beautiful traditions that someone says mustn't ever be changed/aren't for you and making them your own, proving there's no ownership over art forms and culture. It's learning about yourself through art and through other people, it's standing up to the bigots and finding community and defining your nationality and traditions anew in more inclusive, vibrant ways. It's also all the pain of not having the chance to find out more about a first love and all the potential for what might happen in the gaps in the narrative.

The Terror (TV series): haha people sure do put themselves in Positions, don't they? I am fascinated by the hubris and the absurdity of the Franklin expedition, and how the show zones in on the isolated men in their boats and puts their values - good and bad, helpful and destructive - under a microscope and watches what happens to them under the stresses of darkness, illness, hunger and hauntings. There is so much love in the show even as everything that can go wrong does go wrong, there are all these little rituals and objects that people use to give meaning to what they're doing.

Star Wars (predominantly Rogue One): Rogue One reminded me of the SW universe I loved as a teenager, the unimportant people who weren't Force sensitive or powerful, but who fought to do the right thing anyway. I will be watching Andor for the same reason (and tagging so my friends who need to block it can block it - and not letting the Mouse have my money for any of it don't worry about that).

Ripper Street: I loved seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5. The less said about 2 the better for me, though I know a lot of people on here are big fans. In my head, there was a much more interesting story lurking beneath season 4 and 5 that I'm always disappointed wasn't drawn out - the immigrant children who were traumatised on their journey to London ('the world comes to London and London becomes the world' <3) and responded in such different ways. And by god I wanted Reid to answer for all he did wrong but I loved that fucked up man and his Victorian hypocrisy. Hmmm when I stop to think about it I really want to re-watch, though maybe only cherry picking the episodes that tie into my alternative narrative theories.

Utopia (C4 series): I have written fic for this! So odd as it may be, this is a fandom. I haven't been able to bring myself to re-watch since the pandemic because yikes, and it's so cruel that it ends as it does, unfinished. But it's so compelling - season 1 is good, season 2 is absolutely heart-rending. Everyone is complex and fascinating and always developing - the games of 3D morality chess going on are wild, and again, love is such an important factor even as everyone fucks up again and again.

Musketeers (BBC series): I never did watch season 3, it all felt far too silly by then. It's on the list because I wrote a couple of fics way back when and it was the first time I'd written fic in well over a decade. Episode 1 had such potential. The cast was so good. But it just...wanted to be a silly BBC series and not a complicated historically-engaged series so I'll simply enjoy drunk and grumpy Tom Burke!Athos, beautiful-haired Jerott-fancast Pasqualino!D'Art, luschious-moustached cunningulus-loving Santiago Cabrera!Aramis and unutterably perfect WHY-HASN'T-HE-BEEN-ALLOWED-TO-MAKE-THAT-DUMAS-FILM-YET Howie Charles!Porthos without trying to engage my brain these days.

Ghosts (BBC series): I haven't written for it, but I had a glorious binge of Captain/Havers fics after seeing that episode and it gave me enormous feelings of The Kids Are All Right because, while a lot of it felt like it was written by quite young fans, there was so much great ND!Captain and acespec!Captain but there was also some excellent what-if-they'd-just boned fic and I loved it all and it was just the kind of delightful escpaist comfort fic I would hope for from the series.

Castlevania: I still haven't watched the last series wtaff!! Hey guess who loves the big burly idiot who's accomplished in battle and hates how much he's become attached to the effete blond bisexual disaster? haha yeah. Trevor my love you're the hottest cartoon character since Fox from Animals of Farthing Wood :p I haven't written fic for it, but I do love me some filthy Trevor/Sypha/Alucard smut :D

Lupin: Again, not one I've written for, but goddd I want all the Lupin/Benjamin fic! Classic 'male protag is kind of a disaster in the life of every woman he interacts with but he's got a best friend who is never really given any background reason for why he helps him out of literally every scrape so I have decided they're better together'. That is all.

Bonus!! Our Flag Means Death: so far only really interacting with fic when my friend writes it, but I love to see how much @notfromcold loves it! All the characters are great and I don't really have anything to add to fandom but I enjoy it a lot :)

Ok now ten favourite charcters. Not in any particular order, I just wonder if putting them side by side and rotating them in the light will make any patterns emerge.

Eta: holy shit. Yeah. There are patterns. There's a lot of 'characters who pour all their emotions directly into someone else to help further the protagonist/narrative journey and end up not getting anything to show for it in the end'. There are also some crazy ladies :')

And while I didn't put Merab or Irakli in the list below, you can see why either would fit my style. I will say though, that while I fell for Merab when I watched ATWD it was seeing people blame Irakli for hurting him and acting like Irakli was just a heartless asshole that made me furiously protective over Irakli and made me want to explore Merab's own worse side too (love himmm but he's not perfect either).

1. Jerott Blyth (Lymond Chronicles)

Loyal, confused, competent and doomed to an unhappy ending. A brilliant second, who will go along with nearly anything if you just explain it to him - he needs trust and leadership and is unfortunately in the shadow of a leader who finds it nearly impossible to trust and share. But when he does!! Oh. My heart. Jerott's never bitter about being second best though, he's just a man who thinks he's simpler than he is, caught up in a world of complicated, fascinating, infuriating people.

2. Faramir (Lotr)

A good man trying to do good who is Never Enough for the person he looks up to. Happy to be a steward not a king, dutiful to the point of self-destruction. Thoughtful, intelligent and cultured, but generous and devoid of bitterness. Like Jyn and Cathy and lots of the others in this list, it's also particularly his relationship with another that I vibe off (I could have put Éowyn as the fave just as easily), and the way he sees in her the sadness he's experienced himself, but he chooses to reach out, to offer her a different perspective, to be kind and never bitter. Love my depressed kids who feel they'll never live up to expectations but find each other and learn to heal together.

3. Harry Goodsir (The Terror TV series)

...a pattern begins to emerge. Another good man who starts off thinking that the rules are there for a good reason, wanting to see the best in everything, believing that mutual benefit can come from a deeply imperialistic, imbalanced encounter. But he's not a pushover - he is content with his position until he feels he isn't respected and he sees his values are not those of his superiors, and then he stands up for his principles and standards. Does he become bitter? I'd say not - he's fuelled by a kind of singular, protective fury in the end, a desire to save whatever about the place can still be saved from the selfish destructiveness of his people.

4. Deborah Goren (Ripper Street)

She puts herself out for others to a point where it's almost unhealthy - and when it becomes so, she draws her boundary and says 'no more', she won't be the homewrecker when there's a chance for Reid to be this honest with Emily still. Again without bitterness or meanness, just in recognition that she can do no more without losing herself.

5. Jyn Erso (Rogue 1)

Closest thing to a protagonist so far on this list, but she's still in an ensemble piece and only effective because of that! I'm tempted to say it's specifically her connection with Cassian that makes her, and him, characters I love so much. They're mirrors, as Diego Luna said in an interview iirc, and it's by seeing each other that they remember their fire and determination to resist the empire (not that Cassian has forgotten this, but the hope he uses as a mantra has been something beyond him personally for a time, and seeing Jyn crawl her way out of the emotional pit she was in reminds him of things he's forgotten imo). Again competent and doomed, I suppose she fits my preference for secondary characters in the sense of the wider universe - she and the rest of the R1 crew are the sacrifice needed in order for the OT to happen and for Leia, Luke and Han to have their stories.

6. Daniel Molloy (IWTV TV series)

Not the protagonist, acts as a sounding board and outside perspective on the things the MC tells themself, doomed in the sense of his illness and age relative to the immortals he's found himself around...he fits the bill! He might be a bit more snarky and bitter than some of the others, but idk, I still don't think bitterness is his predominant trait - he's incisive and observant and wryly competent. I can't wait to find out more about him.

7. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars OT)

Haha this one is a protagonist Jo!! Literally the Hero on his journey!!

Well let me tell you that 10-year-old me, when first exposed to Star Wars, was not as yet familiar with old Joey C and formalist approaches to storytelling. There are a couple of reasons I think it's important to have Luke on this list. 1) I distinctly remember him being the first blorbo I had where I was like 'this trait [earnest optimism fwiw] actually annoys me deeply and yet he is still my fave. Why?' and 2) whatever media I had been consuming and whatever people I was around, it was a fixed idea for me at that point that The Hero Gets The Girl, and the sibling reveal was a '???? *animal turns its head 90 degrees to try to understand* moment. The hero doesn't become a kind of sexless monk-knight who insists fascists can be redeemed because they're dad-shaped! I joke I joke. Vader is far from dad-shaped, he's just dad. Anyway I recall being FASCINATED and vexed by Luke constantly and he was without doubt my favourite of the original trio. Was that because I thought he should be because he's positioned as the hero? Hmm. Maybe. But I remember it being a kind of thing with the people around me that liking Luke was a bit babyish, and Han was the more 'complex' 'grown-up' character. (Insert Always Sunny conspiracy board meme.jpg IT WAS THE SAME THING WITH STEPHEN GATELY OF BOYZONE WHEN I PREFERRED HIM TO RONAN something something cultural infantilisation/desexualisation of queer people (I only learnt later how many people read Luke as queer)).

Anyway, what I'm kind of getting at is the ways in which Luke is an unusual protagonist, and socially, my experience was of people not treating him as an MC because he was 'boring'. But even as a kid I knew that wasn't true and was fascinated by his repeated *decisions* to be good, to believe in the good and again, not to be embittered by what he goes through. Also the loyalty and earnestness came to be favourite aspects.

8. Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights)

Aaaaah. Uhhh. Make this one fit your theory, bitch! Well, starting simple, WH is once more an ensemble piece about the significant influence a group of people have on each other. Catherine and Heathcliff are mutually significant to each other's journey and arc and emotional development (reverse of the Jyn and Cassian pulling each other out of the mire thing though! Dragging each other down because they can't escape their social circumstances). Cathy doesn't exactly choose to be good, but her choices are motivated by a (misguided, patronising, cowardly) intention to do what she can with her situation (gender) to get ahead in the world and bring Heathcliff with her - because she can't imagine willingly 'lowering' herself to his level, he must rise. Ahh...*chews stalk of grass and surveys crop of awful faves* gives me feelings about Jerott and Marthe's marriage again. Anyway, blah blah, you get the picture - doomed to unhappiness but tries so hard to exert control over her life/others/the narrative anyway.

Also I love a mad lass who dreams of the moors. <3 #teamCathyneverdidanythingwrongever

9. Lucy Snowe (Villette)

Hahahahaha. Speaking of mad lasses! Lucy doesn't believe she's the protagonist. She's plain and weird and not meant to be The One Who Is Loved by the kind, handsome man or the mean, beautiful woman. She believes she's doomed to an unhappy ending - so much so that she even appears to summon one for herself, snatching it from the jaws of happily-ever-after. She's never upset about her position (except when she's so consumed with shame/angst/etc because she realises she let herself believe the handsome man might care for her momentarily), she's an outsider with a wry, cynical view of the people around her, but she does still crave involvement and recognition. Not at all self-aware and 1000x more entertaining for it. Also goes on a furious opium-fuelled rampage through the town, what's not to love?

10. Gudrun Brangwen (Women in Love)

Another mad lass :) Gudrun is a modern lady who thinks she's in control of her life and her sexuality. She realises way too late that she's in fact caught up in Gerald's own experimental, philosophical approach to the modern world (I wanna say like... basically a giant wager between him and Rupert) and she's still subordinate to him and his wants. It's been a long time since I read it, but her angst about the physical side of their relationship always stays with me - when she feels like a glass of wine he's draining for his own strength and she lies awake feeling unsettled and doubtful, while he sleeps it off with a masculine kind of arrogance (sorry, it's a DH Lawrence book, I'm allowed to describe it like that) after they have sex. Also when she punches that cow it's amazing. (I mean the animal, not being rude about another woman. Haha oh Lawrence you funny little man).

--

By and large then, it's secondary characters (my thesis was on minor characters why is this a surprise!) who exist to support the protagonist, or some other character, and whose relationships with the the protagonist/that other character make me feral, because they play a role that is meant to be kind of thankless but without them the protagonist couldn't achieve what they need to achieve/the story couldn't progress as it does. God it literally IS my thesis fml.

[ozma914]

Finding The Cure for Chicago traffic

Seven years ago, I swore I would never, EVER drive in Chicago again.

Last Saturday, we drove to Chicago. Again.

It was for the same reason as last time, to see The Cure in concert. The Cure's music is ... well ... it's been called post-punk, gothic rock, new wave, and alternative. Robert Smith has fronted the band since the late 70s, so I assume it wasn't all that at the same time. Oddly, while I don't care for those types of music, I actually like The Cure. Not the way Emily does. Not "we have to go to Chicago to see them play". No, sir. But I love my wife, and proved yet again that I'm willing to put my life on the line for her.

The venue was different from last time, giving me the hope it wouldn't be as far into the city.

It wasn't as close. It was closer. We actually drove between the skyscrapers at one point. We experienced our version of "The Suicide Squad".

The place is called The United Center. As I understand it, some sports-ball team plays in it when concert season is over. The Bills, or the Bulls, or the Boobs, something like that.

We got the nosebleed seats, but I didn't realize how literal that was. Our seats were in the very last row of a stadium that seats 23,500 people (sold out), and to get there we had to buy rock climbing equipment and hire a sherpa. It never occured to me that anyone would put in sections so steep that your toes are at the level of the next fan's head, which I'm sure has caused a fight or two. The place had to have been built in the 50s--no way would authorities allow such a fall risk these days. If I'd slipped on the top step, I'd have kept tumbling until I bowled over the drummer.

(I checked: It opened in 1994. They probably had some celebratory hang gliders launch from our position that day.)

And the band? Well, the band was great, but I wish I'd brought my telescope. They looked like little Polly Pockets, if you remember those. Kind of micro-dolls. There were two big TV monitors beside the stage, but we could barely see those either, especially once the questionable smoke started to rise from the audience.

As you can see from the above photo, we actually had a seat right in the center. Cool, right? The crowd is shining their cell phones to bring the band back for an encore. I don't know what encores are in other places, but this was more like the halftime show.

The Cure started a little late, and after that "encore" we walked out to the parking lot, got in the car, and ... sat there. Driving to the venue had been a lot like the asteroid field in "Star Wars V: Crazy Drivers Strike Back". So we decided to let things clear a little, and the more we thought about it, the more we let things clear.

We were, in fact, the last car through the exit gate. On purpose.

 Surely, by well after midnight, both the concert crowd and regular traffic would have regained some measure of sanity, right? RIGHT?

Chicago driver are insane.

Not "bad". In fact, many of them are quite good in a NASCAR kind of a way. Sure, they may arrive with their cars covered in dents and scratches and pedestrians, at a speed that nets them a good 9 mpg gas mileage, but they'll get there fast.

Base, drums, amplifiers ... much calmer.

I had to drive 15 mph over the speed limit just to keep from being rear-ended. Even then, every few minutes something would streak around us like an F-15 doing a flyover. Then it would veer across three lanes, pass someone else, and dive back across the same three lanes without ever touching the brakes.

In heavy traffic. Well, it probably didn't seem heavy to them.

I'd like to speak specifically to everyone in the Chicago area who drives a Dodge Challenger. We saw the rear-end of several, because despite my instincts, I had to keep my eyes open. You people, you're crazy. Nuts. Looney-tunes. The fact that any of you survive is proof of guardian angels.

Typical Chicago Driver Enjoying the Mayhem.

As for us, there were only a few times when I had to stand on the brakes and swerve into another lane. Emily may have screamed, I don't know. I did. The rest of the time my death grip stayed on the steering wheel, my head on a swivel, and my stomach in my mouth.

We got home around 4 a.m., and after we stopped shaking slept most of the day. Then we woke up with a concert hangover. That's a real thing.

Then, the next day, Monday, my muscles remembered they'd spent six hours so tense you could bounce a quarter off them. Not to mention the three hours in the stadium seats, which were actually comfortable for the first hour. (Yeah, my ears popped on the way up, but nobody dropped a car on me.) Ironically, after all that sitting over the weekend, on Monday I couldn't get off the couch.

I'm glad Emily got to see her favorite band, and I'll take her again--if they ever come to Albion.

http://markrhunter.com/ https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

Remember whenever you don't buy a book, another driver is born in Chicago. Oh, the humanity!

[blinkaftermidnight]

Hiya, I've been asked by a friend to send u this message (they're not on Tumblr)

Message:

Hey it's hidden beauty from ao3. I read your outline for your fic for S3 and I think it's amazing. I think others would also enjoy reading it as it would give a lot of people's headcanons closure. BUTTT I would never want to see you do that if your heart wasn't in it. I saw it in your style as i read it and it brought me a lot of peace and smiles reading it. Sorry I'm not there on your star wars fic, I never watched the movies and have 0 understanding of it despite being a big space movie/tv show fan. I'm so glad you wrote so much Leatin for TW and I hope you continue to grow as a writer. I wanted to reach out to you but couldn't do so as I refuse to make a tumblr account XD so I enlisted my buddy that I made from the wilds discord server to do it. Take it easy, you've got a forever reader in me.

Thank you for passing on the message, and tell your friend thank you for me as well. Truly, it really means a lot to me. And if you would pass the rest of what I say, that'd be great too, even though this is gonna get long.

So let me attempt to explain a little why I have an outline and not a completed fic. The fic that I plan to release after the Star Wars AU was being written around the same time I was working on the outline for the s3 fic, and they felt fairly similar to me. Idk if I can blame outlining or the fact that I was writing a fic that seemed too similar to parts of the outline for shaking me out of actually writing the s3 fic. I have two and a half chapters actually written, I think, and there's not much of it I'm particularly fond of, even though I like the premise I came up with overall. Translating the outline into an actual fic, in this specific case, is difficult for some reason.

I'm slowing down with writing right now. It happens. I wrote A LOT between February and the beginning of July. My life's changing. If it wasn't burnout, I'd still be forced to slow down, even though I've proven to myself that I can write a shit ton in a short amount of time if I'm given the opportunity and have the will to do it. It normally comes back around, but I'm not gonna attempt to predict what my writing-related future holds at this point.

I may just use this opportunity to spill a little more emotion or at least share some of my writing journey over the last year and a half. I started The Wilds on a whim, at 10 pm, while I should've finished a different show. Literally I can't explain what compelled me to watch the show, and I stayed up until 3 because I was hooked. 1x09 convinced me of Leatin, and I was a FTWD writer but suddenly felt compelled to write for yet another non-canon wlw ship that didn't have a lot of fic (at least, when I wrote my first Leatin fic, there wasn't much). I wrote a oneshot that my now best friend commented on before we started messaging; writing that fic literally brought us together. Writing Leatin fic got me through my second - and ultimately final - semester of law school. I posted daily updates of and it's like our world but we're the last ones left in the midst of law homework and exams. Similarly, I wrote the exes fic, we're falling apart still we hold together, while deciding to leave law school and posted chapters during exams. I wrote a fic without an endgame that I liked and know plenty of people did not. I forced the ending of another fic because I was afraid people wouldn't like what I felt was its natural conclusion and chickened out of following it. I wrote two AUs I never expected myself to write (fake dating and soulmates). Writing i'll be waiting on you forever helped me work through and process some of my personal shit.

All of that - and I haven't even covered every Leatin fic I've written - to say, writing Leatin fics has helped me in ways even I probably don't fully understand. It's made me friends that I love dearly. Though I will say, my popularity did spook me for a while. I've made peace with it, and now it's kinda funny. Anyway, for the last year and a half, I've had something I've wanted to write about, something to pour all my creative energy into. I've been able to share my work, and save for a few minor things, everyone has been unbelievably kind to me. The cancellation sucks, but it's still hard for me to be sad because writing these fics and discussing them and making friends because of them has been one of the biggest highlights of the last year of my life. I mean, my life is not what I expected it to be back when I began writing Leatin fics. So much has changed, but working on Leatin fics remained consistent and it helped me. It helped me personally, since writing is my coping mechanism, but it also helped me push myself as a writer, and I think I've seen results.

I'm not sure I'm making sense anymore. It's 2 am lol so I'll stop, but I'm glad the s3 outline is useful for something. Otherwise it might've just sat on my drive forever, and what good would that do? Alright, I'm done for real now. Thank you, seriously.

[theflikchic]

Obscure Pop Culture I Love That Nobody Talks About

Consider this entire post a series of recommendations, especially if you're bored in quarantine.

1. Quantum Leap

Starring Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell, "Quantum Leap" is a sci-fi show from the 80s and it's one of the most progressive shows I've ever seen. The plot's a bit complicated so I'll be quick: A scientist named Sam- in an attempt to travel back in time- accidentally gets trapped in the bodies of different people throughout time. He can only leap from body to body when he changes a point in history (most often, he has to stop a death).

The reason this show is so amazing is because of fact that no matter what body he leaps into, we always see him as him. My favourite episode (called "What Price, Gloria?") is about how Sam gets stuck in the body of a beautiful female secretary. We watch him undergo the sexual harassment of the workplace and see how ridiculous it really is as every guy thinks he's a girl. It's terrific seeing him in women's clothing because it's very normalized in the show and is used to further explain sexism in gender constructs of clothing.

There's about five seasons and sadly, it never got a proper ending. It's quite sad and can be difficult to watch but it's beautiful and I love it.

2. The RED Movies (RED and RED 2)

I love these movies. And sadly, there's only two of them. A lot of people dislike the second one and whild it isn't as good as the first one, I still think it's a lot of fun. They're funny, they're action-packed, and they've got an incredible cast and yet no one's seen any of them.

The movies follow ex-CIA agent Frank Moses and his adrenaline-hyped girlfriend Sarah Ross as they travel the globe with other retired agents and contract killers to stop bad guys and it's AMAZING. I originally watched them because of Anthony Hopkins being in the sequel but then it turned out that I loved them both so much.

They're also very well-written and require a lot of attention. And the jokes make that really rewarding. Both of these films are on Amazon Prime and they're so much fun. If you need more convincing, there's a scene when Helen Mirren tasers Anthony Hopkins and then several scenes after, they kidnap a pizza guy-

3. Dinotopia

The books by James Gurney reign supreme but I love the five episode (or six??? I dunno, there weren't a lot) TV series. It's very mediocre and super low budget but I enjoy the characters and the overall world (even if the books are better).

I'd like to mention that there's also a three hour-long miniseries featuring the same characters but with different actors. While there's more dinosaurs and David Thewlis, the acting is really bad and that's where I prefer the TV show.

I'd also like to mention that the TV show has the character of LeSage, a morally grey antagonist who hates dinosaurs and will occasionally team up with the mains when the rules suit her. She's an excellent character and the highlight of the show.

4. V (1984)

Hey, so, you know Freddy Krueger? Yeah, of course you do. Well, this was the show that made him famous.

Two miniseries (a two-parter and a three-parter) and a fourteen-episode TV series. This show was HUGE in the 80s and yet, for some reason, everyone seems to have forgotten it (but we did get Funko Pops so...victory!).

The show is about an alien invasion of earth but it's not just an alien invasion: it's an invasion from evil alien lizards that serve as an allegory for Nazis. It's got amazing characters, especially amazing female characters. It deals with moral decisions and the horrors of war. While it does get more campy as it progresses and doesn't have a proper ending, 90% of it is low-budget but compelling sci-fi with great characters (and the found family trope, especially once they bring Robert Englund aboard).

Be aware: there are some elements of body horror regarding a pregnancy and an ab*rtion attempt in the second miniseries so if that stuff bothers you like it does me, I promise that it has a happy ending and everything turns out okay. I love love LOVE this show and I wish more people watched it.

If you're curious, it's located all on archive.org.

5. Monk

One of the only three cop shows I actually watch, "Monk" is an incredible show starring Tony Shaloub as an ex-homicide detective who suffers from OCD. As someone with a diagnosed anxiety disorder, I just feel so...seen with this show. Tony Shaloub does an excellent job at portraying someone with anxiety and he's written so wonderfully that I often find myself saying out loud- "Me too, man. Me too."

Don't let the fact that it's a comedy throw you off. They take Monk's illness pretty seriously and most of the laughing comes from the sadness that comes with the way he reacts to the world. Often when something goes wrong because of his anxiety, it funny but also doesn't shy away from the character trying to deal with the way his mind is wired. No characters really laugh at him in the show and those who do are portrayed as jerks (because they are). And Monk is incredibly courageous and it's inspiring to see him triumph.

It has 8 seasons and it's on Amazon Prime. It's brilliant and fun and sad all at once. It's also set in the same universe of "Psych" (another amazing show) but this wasn't established until years later once both shows were over.

The bonus to watching this show is for the character of Monk's friend Captain Stottlemeyer played by severely underrated actor Ted Levine. And if that name sounds familiar, it's because he made a mark back in 1991 as a serial killer who owned a pet poodle and went by the name of Buffalo Bill. He's so funny in this show and his friendship with Monk is one of my favourite parts.

So that's the post! I hope you found something that you're interested in and that your quarantine remains filled with fun, fictitious content! Stay safe!

[slade-neko]

Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.

1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.

4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.

5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}

6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)

7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)

9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.

14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.

19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead

24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green

25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.

27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!

28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.

30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)

34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.

45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.

47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.

59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas

70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.

Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 10 Part 12

Part 11

The next few days were monotonous. Most mornings, I would go to the gym. Then I'd head off to work. After work, I'd take Perrin for a walk. We stopped at the dog park a few times to throw the ball. Then I'd go home and read or watch tv. After dinner, I would FaceTime Liam before falling asleep.

Although I missed him terribly, it had been good to have some space. I was able to think about us a bit. Liam was always great on the phone, a gentleman even. Yes, he flirted with me and made inappropriate comments, but they were always in context. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him back. But it was nice to get to know him better, and I decided I definitely liked him as a person and a lover. He was sweet, sincere, funny and warm, the same as he was when he was Will. He seemed to accept who I was. There were no digs at me, maybe some friendly ribbing, but it seemed he liked me too. We spent a lot of time laughing. We had a similar sense of humour.

He opened up about some of his past relationships, how he felt about them and what went wrong. A lot of the times, he admitted to fault, especially in the early ones. I talked a bit about Andy but kept a lot back. No doubt, he noticed.

Thursday afternoon changed everything.

Liam called me when I was driving home from work at about four-thirty. It broke with our routine. We usually spoke around nine o'clock. I answered the phone, and Liam's voice came through the speakers.

"Hello, Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I smiled at this now familiar greeting. "Really good, Liam. How was yours? Have you finished work already?"

"Yeah, good. I'm supposed to stay for another hour, but I wasn't needed, so I left." Liam paused and said, "Listen, Lana, I have to tell you something."

"Oh, no."

"Yesterday, a parent from your school saw the pictures of us." I went cold. I was 10 minutes from my house, but I pulled over. "She left a message on one of the pictures that you look like a teacher from her kid's school." Oh shit. "Anyway, this morning, you were on duty at the "kiss and drop", whatever that is."

Robotically I said, "it's where the parents drop the kids off at school without getting out of the car." I could see where this is as going.

"Right." He sounded strange but continued. "Well, they took a picture of you, put that side by side with the others. Long story short, Sarah was called to confirm your name."

"Oh, for fucks sake." I was pissed off. "What did she tell them?"

"She said she couldn't confirm or deny."

"In other words, yes, but my boss said, don't say anything."

"That's a bit unfair, Lana. She can't lie to them, or they won't bother calling her when they get a story. They will just run it because they can't trust what she says."

"Fuck this," I said and hung up on Liam.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and spun the tires. I had a Toyota Camry SX. It's sort of sporty, but it's not meant to be driven like that, but I was fuming. Liam rang again, but I ignored it. I backed off and slightly and rounded a corner, tires chirping as I went. I fumbled in my bag, driving one-handed until I found and lit a cigarette. As stupid as it was, I drove the rest of the way home like that.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my Draggin jeans, leather jacket and riding boots. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and went for a ride.

I loved being on the bike. Andy was the first guy I'd been with who rode. I remembered the first time he got me on the bike. He hadn't even let the clutch out, and I screamed and jumped off. The second time was better, and I went around the block before I got off. The third time, I was hooked. I loved holding onto his waist as we rode, my chest pressed against his back, my thighs touching his, my hands under his t-shirt. I loved the heavy thrumming of the bike, the wind whistling past. It was exciting, erotic, but also calming. Calming is what I needed.

I was so angry. Not at Liam or Sarah. Or even the bitch who outed me or the others who put my photo out there in the first place. I didn't know who I was angry with. Hollywood? Gossip? Social media? Myself? Maybe I was mad at myself. I deserved it. I'd turned my back on Andy, fucked another guy, and now I'm in a relationship with him, according to public record. Every time someone googles my name, his will come up.

The parents at school will give me looks, and I won't know what they are thinking. Will they be laughing at me? And if it didn't work out, everyone would know. I would have to go through a break up while everyone watched, picked at it, chose sides and commented.

I rode for about an hour up through the Blue Mountains. When I stopped for petrol at Wentworth Falls, my thoughts had settled, and I was thinking clearer. I stopped at a cafe, got a coffee and checked my phone. Liam had called twice more and sent a few messages. Riza had called and texted me.

I checked Riza's first. It was a link to an article, Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover. Her text simply said, "Jen just found this. Call me if you need me." I didn't click the link.

I checked Liam's. He said he wants to make sure I'm ok. Then he said he wants to come over and talk to me.

I called Liam. He seemed to answer before it even rang. "Sweetheart. Are you ok?" He sounded a bit frantic.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset is one thing. I snapped at you and blamed Sarah. You're right. It's not her fault."

"Lana, don't worry about that. Did you read the article?"

"No."

Liam was quiet a while. Then he said, "Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just needed some time to calm down." I let out a short laugh. "I am a redhead after all. I have a temper."

Liam laughed, "Do I have to be worried about being stabbed in my sleep?"

"Nah, being a redhead wouldn't make me do that. I get that part of me from being a Scorpio."

"I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now."

I smirked, "Why not be both?"

Liam laughed and then got serious. "You sure you're ok? Do you want me to come over? I almost did get in my car when you wouldn't answer."

"Stalker," I teased.

"And that's why I didn't."

"I'm not at home anyway."

"Where are you?"

"I took off on the bike to clear my head. I'm in the mountains right now."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah, the Blue Mountains. Look west tomorrow, and you'll see them."

"I'll do that." Liam paused. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye, Liam."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

I finished my coffee and rode home.

I texted Riza to let her know I was ok. I played with Perrin. I texted my brother to remind him to pick Perrin up tomorrow afternoon. I ate some dinner before packing my bag for tomorrow and went to bed. It was a long time before I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover

"Pictures of Liam Cross, 38, with an unknown female were circulating on social media earlier this week, and tongues were set wagging.

"Users were quick to put their detective hats on and tracked down Cross's new flame late yesterday. The woman was identified as Mrs Alana Walker, 30, Sydneysider, and special education teacher. Not much else is known about Mrs Walker other than she was widowed in 2017.  Her husband, Andrew Walker, and father Brian Kelly were killed in a horrific Boxing Day crash when his car was destroyed by a truck driver who had a medical incident behind the wheel.

"Sources close to Cross say that he has been elated the past couple of months, and now they know why. They hope for his sake that this relationship will not be plagued by scandal like his previous relationships.

"For now, Cross's camp is remaining tight-lipped on the situation. While they don't deny a relationship, they will not confirm it.

"Cross is currently in Sydney for an adaptation of the widely popular and romantic fantasy epic Beyond the Stones series by C. W. Taylor. He will co-star alongside Australian Myra Roberts with an expected release in the northern hemisphere winter of 2022."

I woke on Friday morning and laid in bed for a while. I should have gone to the gym, but I just couldn't get my body to move. I wanted to chuck a sickie, blow off the whole day, maybe go for a swim, or just watch movies all day. I had an urge to watch Kill Bill for some reason. But I couldn't do that to the kids.

I knew I was just trying to avoid the parents at school. I'm sure most of them know by now. Gossip runs rampant at the school gate. We've all seen Big Little Lies. Probably all the staff knew too. It was one of those days where I wish I could just press fast forward and get to the part where I see Liam again. I didn't want to miss out on that.

In the end, I got up, showered and got ready for work. I tamed my hair, put on my war paint and dressed in black work pants, ballet flats and a pink knitted cardigan.

I started to pack my bag for the weekend, trying to work out what outfits I needed. I had decided what I wanted to wear for dinner tonight, but I didn't know what to wear to bed. Would I even need anything to wear? I blushed at the thought. I packed a basic set of pyjamas. I added jeans and a couple of t-shirts, a hoodie and my Dr Martens. I put some pretty underwear in there too. I didn't have much, just a white lace set which Liam had already seen and two black lace sets. I packed them all.

My phone beeped, and I got a message from Liam. It was a picture of his face all sweaty from working out. He had his tongue sticking out. He had written, I was going to send you a picture of my cock but thought that was a bit vulgar. So I decided to send you a picture of another part of my body that's going to fuck you tonight. Can't wait x.

My whole body grew hot, my stomach filled with butterflies, and I giggled. I started to reply with 'cheeky bastard', but then I had an idea. I sent him a picture of my face with my mouth open in an O shape, and I rested a finger on the corner of my lower lip. I wrote, I was going to send you a picture of my pussy but thought it was a bit obvious. So I sent you a picture of another part of my body that's going to get fucked tonight. X

Within a minute, I got a reply of: Game on, Sweetheart.

Well, if Liam wants to play a game, I can play a game.

I pulled my pyjamas out of my bag and put in a satin shift, pretty much my only sexy bedclothes. I thought about what other sexy photos I could take and packed a few other things. Then I made my lunch and headed off to work.

I rang Riza on the way to work. She asked me about how I was feeling. I told her I was dealing with it, but I said no more about it. I asked Riza about how she and Jen were going, and she said we would meet up soon.

"I miss you," she said.

"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk soon, ok?"

"Yeah, have a good weekend slut! Tell Liam I said hi."

"Suck a dick Riz."

We hung up, and almost immediately, Dave calls.

He doesn't say hello or anything, just launches in with, "Are you dating Liam Cross?" Fuck. "One of Lucy's friends just sent her an article about you and him."

No use denying it then. "Yeah, I am. He's the one I'm spending the weekend with." I braced for his reply.

"Fuck me dead. My fucking little sister is rooting Liam fucking Cross." His voice didn't sound angry. He sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a big deal. Just don't forget to get Perrin and don't tell Mum."

"Not a big deal? The kids will go crazy when they meet him."

"Dave, we are hardly at the point where we are meeting families."

"Yeah, alright, keep your shirt on."

"I'll come by Sunday arvo to pick Perrin up?"

"Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

I ended the call and got to work not long after that. I went straight to my classroom, trying to avoid everyone. There was one person I couldn't avoid, and that was Marla, my teacher's aide. She was in her late 50s, though, so I thought she would be pretty safe. She didn't mention anything all morning, which was a relief.

At lunchtime, I stayed in the classroom. I told Marla I had some work to do, so she left me alone. I checked my phone and found a message from Liam.

It was a picture of Liam drinking from a bottle of pineapple juice, and it said, Me hydrating for tonight x.

His innuendo made me chuckle, but I had planned for something like this. I took a selfie of myself with a banana in my mouth and sent it with the caption: Presumptive much? Me carbo-loading for tonight.

Liam replied a little later with, I can't decide if I'm winning because my pics are better or if I'm still winning because yours are better.

Marla came back into the classroom about halfway through lunch. She pottered around the room, trying to look busy. She kept looking over at me. I felt myself start to panic. She wasn't acting like that this morning. She must know now. They all must know. I started wondering what everyone was saying about me in the staff room. They had probably sent Marla back to the classroom to see what information they could get out of me. The panic receded, and anger filled the void.

Eventually, I lost my temper. "Have you got something to say, Marla?"

Marla had the good grace to look ashamed. "No. Nothing."

I crossed my arms. "What are they saying?"

Marla sighed, "honestly? They're mostly pretty stoked about it. Happy for you."

I let my arms fall. My vision went a bit blurry. "Really?"

Marla came over and leaned against the table, and rubbed my back. "Oh, Darl, yeah, most of us remember what it was like for you. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, but the tears still came. Marla gave me a tissue. "Thanks, Marla." I sniffed, "ugh, the parents, though. I'm not looking forward to that."

Marla smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Darl. I'll fill in for ya this arvo, and you can do my Wednesday lunch duty. How's that?" I thanked her. Relieved, I hugged her and cleaned myself up.

When school had finished, I made a mad dash to the car park. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I'd have to show my face in front of the parents sooner or later, but I decided it was Monday's problem.

I checked my phone before I headed off to Liam's place. He had sent me a shirtless picture of himself with some rope curled up around his shoulder and written, One of my costumes has a rope. It made me think of you. I'm about to leave. See you soon.

Dammit, I couldn't think of a response to that one! I sat and thought about it for ages. I was not about to give in easily. Then it came to me. I got my water bottle and one of my spare undies from my overnight bag. I wet them a bit, put the underwear and water bottle on the bag and took a picture of them both. I wrote. My water bottle leaked in my bag, and my panties got wet. It made me think of you. I'm on my way.

The three circles came up within seconds, and Liam sent, You are in so much trouble, Sweetheart. Park around the back.

And because I can't control my tongue in real life or texts, I wrote back, That's what she said.

I didn't wait for a reply. I just put an audiobook on and drove.

Part 12