#I'd start losing my fucking shit any time any of the scenes came on that the video got the clips from

[menlove]

I went through a phase of watching the wildest fanvideos I could find of any and every ship and there's several that still live in my mind rent free, but #1 will always be a smallville one I found where lex luthor & clark kent get together after clark is stabbed by a unicorn w a kryptonite horn. then they get married and clark gets pregnant but then he dies while giving birth (to a kitten). the kitten then grows up and is adopted by bruce wayne.

and this is all set to i swear by all-4-one

fandom just doesn't do this anymore and we can should and must bring this back

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

I am feeling particularly talkative about my dumb dudes today apparently.

This next guy isn't done with the MSQ yet, unlike the previous three I've word vomited about. I made him because I was struggling to understand the appeal of the male viera. It felt like 99% of them looked the same, had the same uwu vibe (no offense to the uwu viera men out there), and were just sort of ... meh. Perhaps, I thought to myself, if I made one, and stared at his stupid face long enough, I would Understand.

He started out as a bunny version of Dusk, because I wound up making bunny versions of Dusk, Mercuriel and Errol in the character creator and bunny Dusk seemed friendliest.

I named him Bjalla, and Bjalla made it very clear immediately that no. No, he was not Bunny Dusk.

And get the fuck off his lawn, while he's at it.

He is level 16 or so in that shot, not quite done with the Limsa intro MSQ. And he is already So Done With Everyone's Nonsense. No matter, I thought. I'm going to make this Bunny Dusk thing work. I'll give him tiny glasses, Dusk always wears tiny glasses, it's part of what makes him so Dusk.

And then I had to accept I had accidentally made a crabby grandpa rabbit. He isn't like so many viera I run into, who are young in body AND spirit (some of them claim to be in their 20 or 30s! Nonsense!). This man has Seen Some Shit before any of you bastards were even born.

Fine, I decided. Fine, if he's going to be a Real Boy, I should refresh on the whole viera lore thing. Really ponder it. And holy shit, I'd always thought it was intensely weird and clearly in the service of trying to explain why there were only ladies in battle thongs representing the race, but it is nigh impossible for me to conceive of a male viera that doesn't have a shitton of trauma as a result of where he came from (unless, of course, he was born outside of that culture to begin with, then he has a chance!).

Bjalla was part of that culture for a long time. He was a master, who had apprentices. HIS master had told him that he needed to make a decision one day: treat all his apprentices like his sons, or none of them. Taking after the man who taught him, Bjalla treated his apprentices like family. This made it incredibly hard when he would lose one, and one day he just ... couldn't do it any more, and walked away from it, breaking the Green Word.

He didn't love learning he apparently Has a Destiny 60+ years later, to be honest. But better than making some kid protagonist do it, he supposes.

Bjalla is old, he is an old man compared to everyone around him, even if you convert his age to hyur-years. "Oh, I'm basically in my 20s," you'll hear Viera players say. Bjalla is in his sixties, by the same metric. He sneers at the old man jokes lobbed Thancred's way. Thancred is a child.

He still has a strong urge to dad people, though, even idiot teenagers who are early in their character development and deserve to be pushed into the ocean.

Or idiot dragoons pretending the whole thing Bjalla saw him do in the dragoon questline is solved now and has absolutely no bearing on their future adventures together.

Old men with PTSD are safe from being dadded, though. They get commiseration instead. Only in spirit, though, Bjalla doesn't like talking about himself much unprovoked. And he has a very high bar for what counts as 'provoked.' Bjalla is an extrovert compared to most feral forest hermits, but he is still an ex-feral forest hermit.

Given the backstory I gave him, the Vault was especially upsetting for him. Not only because of the flashbacks - I love how young he looks here, right back to losing his last apprentice, the one that broke him - but because of what followed.

I've always found the scene where you go to Edmont afterwards so much sadder than the Actual Event. But sending my grandpa rabbit, who has known this exact kind of loss, to go see him made it even worse. He felt fatherly towards Haurchefant too - of course he did - and he's upset about such a kind, capable man's life being cut short, especially to protect him, of all people. But he's even more upset that this fellow father is going through pretty much the worst thing a father can experience.

Losing Ysayle later, another basically-kid in his eyes, who had so much potential in the life she should've gotten ahead of her, was not any better, of course. And later, after the Resistance encampment is decimated by Zenos and company, getting to commiserate with Conrad about all the young lives snuffed out ahead of their time, while these two tired old men are still standing, and how unfair it is ... it was a lot. It resonated with me more than it had on previous runthroughs.

Stuff hits different when you're in a grandpa rabbit mindset, I guess is what I'm saying here.

It's not all sad, of course, FFXIV at its core is a hopeful game, and I enjoy that he's got joy in his life too. He has a whole-ass found family he loves very much, for example.

And a girlfriend that is too young for him but since she's coded as old he hasn't really noticed.

As you likely noticed, his MSQ class is warrior, although I'm also pretty fond of him being a black mage too, of all things. He works through shit by setting his problems on fire sometimes, I guess. He also will frequently be a dragoon or bard, as I think he primarily used those weapons Back in the Forest Times and he doesn't want to get rusty.

Anyway! That's Bjalla, who is right at the end of 5.5 and I'll probably finish EW on him during the lull between 6.55 and 7.0, if not sooner.

He is not in a rush.

[woodsfae]

B5 s02e20 The Long, Twilight Struggle Table of Contents • previous episode

Wow, we're almost to the end of another season! It's been a really good one, despite my own rocky start with its beginning. It's been interesting how my perspective has shifted enough along the way that I had change of minds about my change of minds of some characters. In The Gathering I loved Garibaldi, then came to dislike him for his sexism, police brutality, abuse of position, stalking Talia, being a shit about his ex, and general cop-ness, but the writing really brought me around on him! Weirdly, I now believe he can and will be better.

Almost the same for Londo. I didn't really like him at all, came to like him a little, then was to be SO disappointed in him that now I'm just fascinated to see how far his moral depravity and Sunk Cost Fallacy-ing will go.

And on to the episode!

Their CGI planet is really lovely and colorful, and does look quite 3d! And it's Centauri Prime (presumably). Must be a Londo episode!

This guy is petting the throne. wtf Refa. Very blunt about the fetishization of power that's going on here.

Londo: "Lord Refa, I have come a long way, and I am tired. Is there a reason I have been summoned here, now?" Refa: "Indeed there is, I have good news. The war which began six months is about to end. Sooner than any of us could have hoped. And you, Londo Mollari, will be the architect of our victory."

ope, the Centauri are about to do some crazy war crimes, I see!

Finally, a sexy transparent glass silhouette showering scene! I've been waiting for this since the show started. Classy of them to make it be Sheridan.

Friendly Draal Planet!!! I hoped to see him again! How delightful! What a bad omen, though.

Delenn is becoming just…transcendently beautiful. The lighting and camera shots, her expressions and grace, are all just astonishing. I am glad she gets to see her friend again. Maybe some of the other serene characters will pop up for a reunion. I'd love to see the little telepath girl who went to Minbari, Janice the Healer, and Thomas Jinxo the Seeker of the Grail again, and I think they'd all get along well (or at least interestingly) together.

Draal, appearing before Sheridan fresh out of his shower: "I've been watching you for quite some time, Captain. And I thought it was time that I introduce myself. My name, is Draal. How do you do." *Minbari bow* Sheridan, damp and be-robed: "Uh, fine. I'm fine." Draal, who has no idea how to talk to humans: "Good. You don't have any idea who I am, do you?" Sheridan, who did his research on B5 tysvm: "Unless there's another Draal who can do what you just did, you're the Minbari who took custody of the planet we're orbiting." Draal: "Ah, Captain, you do not take custody of the planet, the planet takes custody of you!."

This made me laugh really hard. The planet really did take custody of Draal. Near-total isolation, but youth. idk if I'd go for that.

Details…details…lmao Draal.

The Narn…cannot catch a fucking break. Contact with an entire sector of colonies, lost. They're losing, although their official stance is that they're holding their own. I wish them and their counter attack well! One all-out strike with the majority of their forces is a hardcore strategy! They could lose everything.

G'Sten: "If we make them pay, for every inch of space, we can wear them down, prolonging the war beyond their capacity to fight it. Centauri want a quick victory: they don't have the stomach for prolonging the war."

He also says there will always be enough ships to defend their homeworld, but dang that still feels really risky. I am so excited to see a little of G'Kar's family. His uncle! And he's so kind, warm, and loving. The exact opposite of the way they were described by Delenn and the Centauri in season one. They both call the Narn cold, strange, impossible to empathize with. I hate to see anti Narn propaganda! They have risen highly in my estimation and I am rooting for them so hard.

The Centauri are going to bomb Narn from orbit with banned weapons and wipe out much of the entire population. To "save Centauri lives." War crimes, as I thought.

Everything depends on Londo. It's too late to back out. Bringing the pressure and the logical fallacies down on him! He bends, obviously, and is going to reach out to Morden for help carrying out the sick plan.

Londo: "All right. I will bring my assoociates into this, but this is that last time. We are Centauri. If we are to sieze our destiny, we must do it ourselves. After this, no more." What'shisface" "After this there will be no need! Thank you. Cheer up. By the time you return to Babylon 5 the war will be over, and the Narns will be at our feet. This time, we will keep them there."

Exactly. The Narns will not stop resisting, they will eventually gain their freedom again, and there will be another and another. You can't build an empire without horrifically violating sentients' rights, and those sentients are always going to resist.

Love Delenn's outfit today. I hope Draal won't be an ass about her hair.

Aw, so nice, Londo gets to go watch the Centauri genociding the Narns, live and in HD safe on a warship. How thoughtful. May he choke on the sight.

Dr Franklin is a real and good friend and a great anti-fascist comrade. Gathering deets from his Narn patients to give G'Kar as up-to-date as information as he can, as quick as he can.

Draal Planet light hearted B Plot, yay! And Delenn is now experimenting with swearing She used the f-word even! Frag me, she's so great.

Delenn: "Draal? We're here." Draal: "Did you think I hadn't noticed, my old friend? You've changed. I like it."

I'm glad he's not racist to her! That makes two Minbari who have on-screen supported her: Lennier, and now her old mentor. I'm so glad!

But onto the meat of the visit. Draal has been using the planet's resources to gather information, including Sheridan's history and all the plotting Sheridan's been doing. Convenient, and awesome! Powerful allies are badly needed right now. Draal has been studying the universe and the planet, and he's ready for action! And I"m ready to see that action!

"In the long, twilight struggle which lies ahead of us, there is a possibility of hope."

That's a great message, and good repetition of the same sentiment from earlier with G'Kar and G'Sten. I'm afraid G'Sten is going to die, but I hope he lives. The Narns have faced enough tragedy.

Shadow ships coming for G'Sten and his fleet, the evil shits! The CGI has definitely improved from last season to a degree, although it's extremely obvious with the shadow ships. but I love the effect! They are all cgi and thus fake-looking, which I think enhances how out of sync with the normal dimensional bounds they are. I'd be fucking unnerved if I saw something that fake looking in real life.

goodbye G'Sten. :/

There's people on the Draal Planet! Wow, they must be weird.

LOVE this for Delenn. She's needed friends really badly, too!

Zathras!! Is in league with Draal! Cool!! I didn't think we'd see the Space Werewolf again, but this should be fun! JMS's spreadsheets must have been wild.

Narn is in a BAD position. Centauri have Narn surrounded, there's massive destruction and death, and the Narn fleet has been neutralized. An impromptu re-enactment between Narn and Centauri on B5 is underway. Of course.

Narn looks mostly brown and orange from orbit. I wonder what it looked like before the Centauri ever arrived. Bombs underway, Londo watching on while looking sick. Hope he feels even sicker than he looks!

Ineffective response from Minbari and Earth, of course. An atrocity! They condemn it! Really hard! Finger wag! Don't do it again!

:(

G'Kar. What a horrible horrible place to be. Narn plans to surrender. I hope they can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, but knowing this show, it will be even more grim for them and the universe by the end of the episode. Horrific.

G'Kar is reduced to asking Sheridan for political asylum. If they hand him over to the Centauri…! fuck! That's the kind of dystopian universe this is, too. I hope that won't happen, though.

Ugh. A speech by Londo. What an awful piece of propaganda.

Londo: "A little over five standard hours ago, the conflict which began with the Narn declaration of war, came to and end. The Narn regime has offered complete and unconditional surrender. The terms imposed by the Centauri Republic are as follows. One: the ruling body known as the Kha'ri will be disbanded, and its members subject will be subject to arrest and trial for the commission of war crimes against the Centauri." Sheridan: "Earth requests the right to send observers to these hearings." Londo: "That request is denied. Two: to prevent further acts of terror by the Narn against our people, the penalty for the murder of any Centauri by any Narn will be the execution of five hundred Narns. Including the Perpetrator's own family. Three: a provisional ruling council appointed by my government will take up the responsibility of re-building a more civilized Narn government, as a colony of the great Centauri Republic." Sheridan: "Is there anything else." Londo: "Yes. Just, one thing. Because the Narn homeworld is now a protectorate of the Centauri Republic, we reserve the right to determine who can speak for Narn. As a result, Ambassador G'Kar may no longer represent the Narn in any official capacity whatsoever. His appointment ambassador to Babylon 5 is hereby withdrawn. And as the only member of the Kha'ri still at large, Citizen G'Kar will return to Narn for trial."

"No," quoth Sheridan. Minbari supports Earth and Babylon 5 in this, although Delenn does call him Citizen G'Kar like Londo did. Fuck him, man. He's fully a bootlicker channeling his frustration at his guilt over all the war crimes against the non-Centauri. My least favorite fictional war criminal.

The framing and character work through this scene is WILD. G'Kar, sitting, slumped, not meeting anyone's eyes. Londo, speaking with clear enunciation, racist and imperialist language framed as the ethical, sensible decisions the Narn have forced them to make. G'Kar rising and speaking calmly before leaving when Londo loses his temper and demands, screaming, that G'Kar leave the council room.

G'Kar: "No dictator, no invader can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. The Centauri learned this lesson once. We will teach it to them again. Though it take a thousand years…we will be free."

The Narn will not go quietly.

Centauri is celebrating, they are dancing in the streets on homeworld. Or so the propaganda news broadcast goes.

Sheridan has a very nice speech for G'Kar and offer of support of all his personal assets that can be put towards that aim.

G'Kar: "The last time I took someone's hand we were at war twenty-four hours later." *takes Sheridan's offered hand anyway*

Mad lad.

And now Sheridan's off to a super-secret meeting! Delenn presiding. She has gathered him allies to pledge to Sheridan. Ah, Sinclair's project! <3 Sinclair, good work, buddy. Kosh is there, too! Somehow I doubt he is there to swear TO Sheridan. Along with, benevolently, to help the ants win against the anteater, maybe.

This is an episode of speeches! G'Kar's was terrible and great. Sheridan's falls a little flat. His line has been drawn on the other side of a fascist empire re-enslaving an entire people.

Well. I can only hope for some great and wild successes on the other side of the season finale!

The balance of affection between G'Kar and G'Sten, and Delenn's joyful reunification with Draal and the hope that and Sinclair's rangers inspired were all a much-needed balance against the Narns' current plight, but this was still so heavy and dark. It went there, it did that! Man, the forces of the Light are just fucking crippled without the Narn and their previous resources. All destroyed, and mostly dead, to feed the appetite of the Centauri Empire.

next!

[mushroom-for-art]

I am controlled by the movie au I swear XD sorry @oogaboogaspookyman I made ur monochrome boi a shy nervie boi (I nearly tried to at monochrome bastard there before going wait no XD that's wrong) Meanwhile May is big autistic.

Date?

The monochrome Mewtwo stood uncertainly at the door of his coworkers trailer, he didn't know why he was so nervous I mean he'd come here plenty of times before to fetch her for scenes, just to hang out and have their treat girl nights, to work out revenge plans, to watch movies together I mean it was fine he'd done this before he could do it again.

He raised his hand to knock before pulling it away pacing outside the front of her door, but this time it was different. It wasn't like a hang out, this time, well, he had romantic intentions. He wondered if he should not do it this way, just slip her a note discreetly, who was he to encroach on her personal space with his heart in his hand so to speak. That's not fair to her! And he didn't even know if she liked him, she was very confusing after all. She did like men supposedly and she wasn't as playful or jokey with any other male coworkers.

His heart fluttered thinking about how she leans into him when they walk together brushing against him, how she'd hold his arm though sometimes to menace him and make his life difficult. How she would grab his hands during behind the scenes movie interviews and wave their hands about, how when she laughs she leans into him hiding her face in him as she giggled and snorted. Or how when previewing their latest horror movie together she curled up into his side feeling comforted and safe squeezed against him while also asking what was happening despite being petrified of horrors, was a bit silly in a charming way, played a lead role in a horror movie and yet couldn't actually watch the actual horror.

He took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, he did like her, she was exciting and charming and a breathtakingly refreshing change to the usual misery of show business. He sighed shortly, shaking off his hands and moved back to her door knocking softly.

"One momentooo~" Her singsong voice came as he heard her shuffle about towards the door, the lock clicked and opened and, her face was bright purple covered in some sort of spa mask, fuck, she must have been having a relax day with Matt, shit fuck stupid. He froze up as he stared at her as she looked back taking a moment to look confused before beaming at him.

"Hey! We were just doing face masks! Do you wanna join?!" Her tone was excited and easy and it breathed air back into his lungs as his shoulders relaxed.

"Um, I'd love to but I'm afraid I can't stay, May, I, was wondering if you'd. Well you can say no of course but it'd be nice if you'd like to accompany me tomorrow, I'd, like to go out together somewhere."

May blinked at him and smiled saying, "like out to town? You read my mind, I've been getting bored of being stuffed in here with movie scenes."

"Hey can I come?" Matt hollered from somewhere in the trailer, "oh that'd be so fun us three all going out together." She was beaming, smiling in excitement. He bit his inner lip, save her happiness and lose the date or save date and ruin her joy? God he hated these textbook drama misunderstandings, and he knew she did too. He debated, sighing softly.

"Well, um."

He struggled, why did he even start the sentence when he should've said yes. May seemed to notice his hesitation stepping down the step from her trailer door saying gently to him, "is that okay?" He met her eye and looked away.

"I, was kind of, I was hoping. Sorry let me start over, um."

He tried to think of a way of saying he wanted it to be a date with just them two without sounding like a jerk, he had no issue with Matt he just, didn't want him there. Like at all. He swallowed his concern knowing getting it out was the best course of action and he can deal with the fall out then before he lost his nerve and ended up missing his chance.

"A date. I was. Would you like, to go out together on a date, uh just us two, no Matt."

May blinked again, seeming surprised and he was ready for the earth to swallow him up whole.

"GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" Matts voice could be heard yelling from the inside, "YOU CUNT." May laughed awkwardly softly saying "uh I should, check with the council." He could feel his face heating up in embarrassment ready to just leave when she went inside, she touched his arm softly as she turned giving him a smile and gently squeezing his arm, "but, I think a date would be nice," her smile was genuine he could tell, she always bit her bottom lip showing parts of her front teeth in her bashful genuine smile. She let go of his arm stepping up into the trailer.

"WHAT THE FUCKS YOUR PROBLEM MATTY LAD?!" She unceremoniously yelled back at her brother. "YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU CRUSH STEALING LEMON WHORE! UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE. YOU BETTER SAY YES SINCE CLEARLY /I'M/ NOT GETTING ANY OF THAT!!"

May rolled her eyes backwards tilting her head back and smiling at monochrome before leaning back in to shout, "I WOULD IF YOU GAVE ME A FUCKING CHANCE SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING YAP!" She leant back away standing in the door frame before playfully jumping down the steps to be stood in front of monochrome once more who smiled shyly. "Council says it should be fine, my manager can go suck an egg if she wants me." Giving him a bold grin as he snorted softly, somewhat embarrassed and shy now he'd gone and done it and successfully bagged a date.

"Well! I will, come collect you tomorrow, uh early, does 8 sound good?"

She smiled and nodded saying "8 sounds fine, gives us the whoooole day together." He smiled bashfully at the thought as she held his hands and playfully leant back using him as support to emphasize her speaking, he could tell she was somewhat deflecting through humorous actions but he figured she may have just been shy, the wagging of her tail confirming his internal suspicions.

"I'll let you enjoy your night then, and I'll come here to collect you tomorrow for our date."

It sounded strange saying those words but it also felt weirdly nice. She smiled as she stood properly still holding his hands, tail still wagging. "Yea, yea, I, I'm excited for it, guess I'll take this time to pamper myself up all prutty for you." Her tone was genuine before falling into shy humor as she squeezed his hands fidgeting slightly with nerves and energy. He smiled softly bring her hands up to his mouth kissing her knuckles softly.

"You're already prutty, even with a bright purple face, but I'll bid you goodnight."

He could see her tail wagging furiously and in honesty he was having to concentrate quite hard to not wag his as he released her hands sensing she was getting a bit overstimulated as he bowed turned and quickly left the tip of his tail flicking rapidly like a rattlesnake.

As he walked away he heard her retreat back into her trailer, and the sound of her softly squeal screaming, hopefully in joy.

—————

"A DATE ! HE ASKED! ME! DATE! EH !" May squealed in overstimulated glee and confusion bouncing on the spot and flapping her arms about to get all the energy static and wiggles out of herself at the sheer, just sheerness of the situation. Matt lounged watching her with what could only be described as resting bitch face.

"I mean we're always bantering! And like! He's nice! He's always really friendly! And encouraging in scenes or how he comforts me during horror previews of our movies! And like! He's cool! Like! He's! And he's my friend, holy shit he does actually see me as a friend as well, MORE THAN in fact," she paced and did a little hop. "What the fuck?! Holy fuck, oh my god I have nothing good to wear oh christ he's gonna be so disappointed, he's gonna realise I'm a horrid little gremlin aahh shit fuck. Ah" she paced and jumped and ranted and raved, getting out her emotions and processing what happened and what it meant and what other things meant as they were processed with new context.

"Oh my god he was flirting!! Aaaah! I am fucking stupid! Fuck. OH HE PROBABLY THOUGHT I WAS FLIRTING!! Oh he's going to realize I'm so stupid and dense and crackers I dont get socializing," she wailed, waving and swaying her body before having to lie down on the floor on her back to preserve her face mask for much needed floor time as Matt continued to watch.

"Eh he's known you this long I think he realizes all this by now." Matt crunched into a pickle, "I mean he probably likes that your crackers." He nudged her lightly with his foot. "You're fine, I fucking hate you. But you're fine. I think actually this could be good for you, you haven't dated before it's a good-"

"OH GOD I'VE NEVER DATED BEFOREEEEEE!!!" May wailed from the floor as Matts expression fell flat.

"God you're fucking useless."

[callsignbaphomet]

On rewatching Ginger Snaps for the quantillionth time I realized something that so many videos and posts on the movie fail to mention. Idk if this was intentional during the creation of the movie but just...all the signs are there.

Ginger is a horrible person and an abusive dickhead.

Don't get me wrong this is one of my all time favorite movies and I love Ginger a lot. So much that I named an important OC after her.

Movie starts by having Ginger completely dismiss Bridgette's worries about their "suicides" (spoiler alert: it's a school project). Bridgette is a mousy and super shy, insecure and anxious girl so being the center of attention, for her, is a nightmare. She quickly asked "What is they laugh?" To which Ginger answers dismissively and cornering her with the pact they made when they were 8. Basically forcing Bridgette to see things her way and get her to participate.

This is the norm throughout the entire movie but it gets exacerbated after Ginger gets bitten and slowly starts to lose her absolute shit. You see Ginger dismissing her sister, pushing her, calling her names, shoving her, ordering her around and never replying to her sister's phrases of devotion. Yes, I said devotion, not love.

Like the scene of the girls coming back from school.

Bridgette: "I'd rather die then be here without you."

Ginger: "Well relax, you're not, you big suck." After she replies this she pushes Bridgette.

The only times you see Ginger not doing any of the above is when she needs help or feels like she's not in total control. Like after being attacked by the werewolf or when she ate the neighbor's dog.

Even then when B is trying to help Ginger bitches her out constantly. Like at PE when B was helping Ginger hide her newly grown tail. Sure, you could argue Ginger was worried someone would see her but her attitude was just rude af.

Ginger also has this huge and messed up possession of Bridgette that's obvious throughout the whole movie. But she also shows Bridgette just how easily she could be replaced.

Example of this is when Ginger starts hanging out with Jason. Ginger tosses Jason to the ground and starts making out with him in full blown view of B who is clearly disgusted at her sister making out with some boy and in such a manner where she knows her sister can see.

However, once B starts talking to Sam, some dude who saw the girls running from the werewolf before he ran over it, Ginger takes full offense to this. She instantly starts telling B that he isn't interested in helping, he just wants to fuck B. Ginger also tries this with the male janitor who gave B a towel so she could clean herself up after Trina (the school bully) pushes B into a dead dog.

Every single time anyone that isn't Ginger gives B even 2 seconds of attention Ginger gets in the way, tries to sabotage whatever relationship B and that other person may have and tries to divert all attention back to her. If that fails Ginger basically tells her she's being used in some way and if she gets hurt Ginger won't be there for her. She also makes it seem like any dangerous or insane action Ginger commits is B's fault for "abandoning" her. Like when Trina came to their house claiming Ginger took her dog.

By the end of the movie B is sorta fighting back and "standing up to Ginger" by answering back what Ginger really means when she's trying to manipulate B.

In the end Ginger proved to be an abusive dickhead who tried her best to manipulate B and isolate her making her believe B needed her when in truth it was the other way around.

Did I just do this instead of working on my project that's due next week? Yes, cuz reading up on dog's circulatory and respiratory systems is boring. Now some 76 and theeeen I'll continue.

[locustsummers]

 [Legend of Nayuta] mini gameblog:

Final chapter/after story bulletpoints.

this was a nice indulgence; ain't nattered on about vidya like this since like… 2015? or whenever psmd came out (and that was all complaints lolll)

» For all the space she gets in the official illustrations, I think I expected Lyra to be… something more than just a Paint-By-Numbers "babby's first childhood friend with a crush" archetype? Wasn't funny nor charming, and her dialogues were just so bland; like damn, Falcom, of course you love your tropes and tropey characters, but i dunno you might've played this broad a little too straight

I'd say "chick got a raw deal" but she was such a nothing character that it's impossible to actually care ╮( ＾▽＾)╭

» Final chapter's storytelling was a parade of the most tiresome "a good thing happens! and then a bad thing happens" back-and-forth-ing I've seen in a while.

It's an okay trope to use in moderation, but when every single 'positive' happening is immediately followed up by shit hitting the fan in a new manner, you start to feel like you're bobbing up and down like a yo-yo. Worse, it completely loses any actual impact when it happens four or five times in a row, to the point where you almost can't even get excited about clearing the final boss because you're immediately left wondering "how are things going to get worse this time". (and yes! of course you're rewarded with things getting worse)

By the end of it all, shit had me so conditioned that I was half expecting something bad to happen in the middle of the pre-truncated-credits scene. Because why not, right? After all, you've only done it six fucking times already - why not one last rug-pull for the road?

(thankfully the after story was satisfying and didn't have to rely on that kind of garbage)

» The final epilogue bossfights being no-magic no-special-abilities was so good ughhh; like the duel boss was cool and all, but these were actually-involved battles. super rad

» If I had a nickel for every time Falcom had a major character replicated and then had the original rejoined with the replica, I'd have tw-- … yeah well at least i don't feel like writing maudlin shitfic for this idiot, even though I do actually wonder what the fuck the 'new' Noi must've thought about the whole deal. Shit man, she didn't even have the benefit of the old Noi's memories; this was more a case of "thanks for keeping my body warm for me! I'm taking it back". Rude! Rude!!

» Constellation Core ;_;7

[ghoullguy]

(ED) so i was reading this one yoi fanfic and i have some complaints bc im a bitch like that

so in this fanfic, which im not gonna name bc god forbid the author sees this and shit starts, yuuri quit skating bc of an ed

now, i have an ed. ive had several actually, since i was 11. first it was bed, which led to ana, which i'd gone into recovery for by 16, after losing a shit ton of weight and muscle, which as a figure skater, affected my skating. i relied on muscle to power me through jumps, and once i lost all the weight and my muscle, it made it difficult for me. so, i recovered. then, at 17, i injured my hip and couldnt skate for a while. this completely ruined me. i was convinced that because i had to take off time to heal, i could never compete again. i was too old, and eventually, too fat to ever be anything in the skating world. i relapsed, and the past year and a half has been a constant cycle of starving, then binging and purging. eventually, it became full on bulimia. i had a month or so back in december where i ate normally and felt normally about it, but then it came back, starving instead of purging this time. needless to say, i am experienced with eating disorders and recovery from them.

this fanfiction portrays ana as a fear of food. that is absolute bullshit. talk to any anorexic, and you'll see that people w eds fucking LOVE food. its what drives us, its all we think about. its not the food itself we're "scared" of, its the weight and what that implies about us. for me, having done ballet and skating for my entire childhood, i felt pressure to be thin so i could deserve to be a skater and a danseur. if i wasnt thin, i felt like someone pretending to be those things. that, and i have to push myself to exhaustion to feel like i deserve to eat. it is NOT a fear of food. repeatedly throughout this fic, yuuri is shown being legitimately afraid of food, even crying while eating. that is the most cliche, unrealistic portrayal of eds, and it makes the fic much worse bc of it. its a little infuriating actually, bc it shows that whoever wrote this doesnt understand the experience of actual anorexics. and before you shit talk me, saying everyone has different experiences, i have several friends, both irl and online, who also have eds. none of us have ever acted like that. ever. go on any ed forum, and no one will say thats what having ana is like. its the way the media portrays eds, not the actual reality of having an ed.

then comes the recovery arc, though arc is a kind word for it. basically, phichit and yuuri have a talk, he eats three meals that same day, and the only struggles hes shown having is gaining three pounds. now, when you have an ed, three pounds feels like thirty. i can understand that part. however, yuuri just decides to recover, and never goes back on that decision, never is shown having anxiety abt recovering. he just... starts eating. that is absolutely NOT how recovery is. then, in a later scene, he and viktor are abt to have sex. despite his prior insecurity about gaining three lbs, he shows no hesitation in showing his body to viktor. then, the morning after, he (unprompted) starts talking abt wanting pancakes. do i even have to say that this is unrealistic??? does this author not realize that the first person someone w an ed worries abt after gaining weight is their partner??? especially asking for and talking abt such calorie dense food, anyone w an ed would be worried that their partner would see them as fat, or worse, assume they were faking their ed. so yuuri, who just entered recovery, just being fine w viktor seeing him with new weight, fine w him seeing him eat food that makes you fat is just so so so wrong. it feels like this author watched to the bone once and decided they knew everything abt eds.

so, in conclusion, if ur going to write a fic w eds as a prominent plot point/character feature, make it realistic. or, better yet, DONT FUCKING DO IT IF YOU DONT HAVE AN ED. DONT WRITE ABT AN ED YOU DONT HAVE. bc u will never understand the experience of living with it and through it. if you want to read my own fanfiction abt eds, my ao3 is linked in my bio and the work is for bungou stray dogs, its called None of Your Concern.

last but not least, if u feel the need to argue w me or be mean, the block button is a couple of clicks away. if you dont use it, i will <3

[tentajack]

I think i figured out what the core of my current mental state is coming from.

Whenever I have a major life shift, whenever from my frequent severe illnesses or mass irl re-shifting or an unfortunately timed wombo combo of both, my priorities and time management and brain worms and even my tastes in media and creation will shift, sometimes a little, other times a fuckton.

That's not even going into some minor personality changes, which is why I've dubbed this kind of event an ego reshuffle. It's occurred many times, and it fucking sucks, sometimes occurring at the same time as either a partial burnout or a full one (never want to live though that again). The most severe one was when I had moved and had to adjust to working life... resulting in taking a four year hiatus from almost all art, which at that time had all been traditional with a little training in how to use ps and illustrator to supplement.

By the time I did get the spark back, it was nothing like what it had been before: drawing reverse centaurs and ponies on /mlp/ with only a mouse and GIMP and writing some smutty greentext on the side, almost nothing to do with how I had created previously aside from some side screenshot edits, back around about 2014 or so.

Time has come and gone,and I've had lesser versions of this kind of shift, but for clarity I'm just going to focus on what I've been making, more so what I haven't been making.

I've made lots of things that I love, and I don't regret taking over writing updates for Royal Quest, or any of the lovingly gay ass shit I've written elsewhere, but in the shuffle I forgot I was supposed to be working on game development this whole fucking decade.

It was easy to lose sight of that goal right from the start, especially with the fatigue issues I discovered after a few years at a desk job. I'd try to make sure I was making some sort of progress, either learning blender or setting up documentation for how to set up an alpha version of a game idea. But between constant and chronic health issues, a marriage to my loving wife that I must confess is much more co-dependent than I should allow, employment upheavals, and growing as a person outside of the shadow of my upbringing, shit got a little too chaotic, and my goals and dreams and everything about myself that wasn't tied to either survival or pleasure (I like to entertain a crowd with my art and writing and I'm not ashamed to admit that, but the chase of serotonin really backfired for focusing on long term projects... or all the gratuitous smut, again not sorry at all for that) simply got buried and forgotten.

I remembered just today that I yearn to participate in game dev in some form, any form, and it would explain why my ambition would burn me up despite doing what I could, given I was not making any progress in making an actual game. Strengthening my skills and making wonderful friends, yes, but if I'm not making tangible progress I feel like I'm dying. My ambition is a living flame, and if i do not feed it, it will find something to burn. It does not help that thanks to my irl commitments and chronic fatigue that my ability to draw and write and make has become painfully slow, and that's really really bad for making a game with no outside help.

I can already see what I need to do:

>Properly cancel Royal Quest

This one will be hard to walk away from, but it's been nearly five years since I hijacked it, and I need to move on no matter what before the five year mark. It's a shame I never got around to the three or four scenes where all the consequences of player actions came to bloom, but I can at least write up a short summary of what those would have been in multiple places and hope my players see the announcement on /cyoag/ to know I'm not coming back for a long while. QM'ing has been such a fun experience, but writing daily updates where pacing suffered due to my own fatigue isn't a great way to finish that story. Maybe I'll remake the whole thing in rpg maker someday in the far future, I still love the setting and characters too much to let them go for good. This will hurt me to do, I do not abandon any project lightly.

>Force finish all my don't starve WIP's

This one is more so the fault of an extended busy season and a bad illness, but I am way past overdue to finish A midwinters nightmare, and the two remaining chapters are not something I want lingering in my work queue. I'm going to need to finish both chapters by the end of February at the latest, even if it winds up being a shitpost-like version, I hate abandoning projects once they're in the public view and it is not an option for something I want to finish like this. I think the only other 'expected thing' was some out-of-season kinktober stuff that I'm going to try to do in February if I can balance my time well in the coming weeks

>Wrap up any other side projects and start daily dev progress

Once I have no promises hanging over me, I'm going to start some pre-production stuff on one particular game idea I had for a hunting/fishing/horror game, so that even if I need to fall back to a more 2d/sprite oriented game later on I'll still have solidified what I need for that main project. I know nobody's first game goes as first expected, but it won't mean anything if I never have a first game in the first place. I'll likely be posting those updates one way or another here or on pillowfort, so I can keep myself accountable (except on days I get sick).

That's all I have to say on the topic for now, it's late at night but I feel my ambition being fed again with this rediscovery. I still want to do fandom stuff, but it might become more and more of a backburner thing until I can manage time for all projects again.

[magicalgirlmindcrank]

#10: I never did underwater before this and the pose/lightning was really fun here. The expression came thru perfectly as well, the somber somewhat sad tone of this is something I'd like to do more of in '22

#9: The most recent one on this list? I feel like these are some of the best hands I've done and the semi-smug expression came out perfect. Also any excuse to write an osrs related tangent is a good one

#8: Funnee mekoo eat a pepsi

#7: the other really recent one, I never did this kind of monotone palette for both meek and the bg. I feel like the mood of the graverobbing is set just right with these colors and it contrasts the humor really well.

#6: Probably my least popular (note-wise) miku on this list, it was pretty experimental with lineless techniques and maybe I'll take another stab at this exact screen redraw in the future. Regardless I still rather like the dream-like quality to this and im always weak to ccs, this scene in particular.

#5: I wanted to make a gunslinger meek based off Clint Eastwood's Man With No Name (I am something of a fan of those old westerns) and I feel like I fucking nailed it on the design. The sunset colors and expression here are choice too~

#4: I did this largely cuz I was like on the verge of death that week so I wanted to just like. focus on making a meek with some expressive eyes and it ended up being super super cute

#3: Fuck yeah, Radical Miku. I Consider this be one of my overall best Mikus just in like terms of lines, coloring and shading. The Pose is really great too and you can expect more Radical Miku in 2022. Also this one is like #2 all time notes wise, only edged out by trans jenner meek from 2020.

#2: This is actually still my desktop wallpaper. Its rather simple for being so high on this list, but besides the praying hands (Which im still fairly proud of) I shoved a buncha symbolism into this which I dig.

#1: god where do I even start here? Its Fucking Goya Miku. I think this might be my favorite of all the Mikus simply cause its always makes me lose my shit. not sure WHY I wanted to draw this other than I thought it might be funny and by god was i right. Miku eating rin/len here as a parallel to Saturn eating his progeny is just... 😘👌

[samwilsondiaries]

; welcome home

PART I — PART II (soon)

© @pietro-maximoff

sam wilson x fem!reader. masterlist.

summary. sam comes back home after being a week in europe, not replying to your calls or text messages.

words. ± 1.3k.

warnings, tags. after tfatws 1x04!reader insert, more or less. nsfw, +18!!! nothing really smutty, just a few touches and language.

a / n: none of my stories contain reader's body descriptions to be inclusive.

You couldn't help but feel worried after what you watched on the news. Sam left almost a week ago, asking you to stay with Sarah in Louisiana until he was back, only wanting to protect you. In the hospital, your boss gave you a sabbatical month, after collecting too many personal days. But being locked in Delacroix was eating you alive, carrying your phone wherever you used to go, waiting for a call or a message from your boyfriend that never came.

Helping your sister-in-law to extend the fishing net all over the floor to clean it from algae and trash, you weren't able to ignore it and to not check your notifications again. Nothing more than some emails and posts on your social media. Sarah puckered her lips disappointed for how his brother was behaving when she watched you sighing. She knew his ass was in big trouble, that was for sure. At least, help her with the family business kept your mind occupied the whole day, and it wasn't too bad to spend time with your nieces. They adored you and you used to have so much fun.

“I'm gonna put the boys to sleep”. Sarah informed you, coming into the kitchen while you were finishing your second glass of red wine. “You okay? Has he replied?”

“Nope”. You mumbled, taking another sip.

“He'll be okay”.

You knew it. Sam could be a pain in the ass sometimes, but you were aware of how hard he was. Your sister-in-law gave you a tight hug and left a kiss on your cheek before going upstairs to finish her day with some good sleep. She deserved it after too much work. On the contrary, you stayed there sitting at the dinner table, spinning your glass as if it could make it fill up by itself magically. Like every night, you used to wait an hour before heading to Sam's old room and try to sleep for a couple of hours, mostly waking up every thirty minutes to check your phone again. You weren't understanding why he hadn't replied to any of your texts, at least, with an emoji.

“Baby…”

The whisper dragged you back to reality with just one push, abruptly turning on your chair to the back door in the kitchen. Sam was there, standing in silence with a hand rested on the knob. He didn't seem hurt in any way, but he knew you probably would give him a silent treatment until he compensated you enough. Pressing your lips together and frowning, hiding how much you desired to hug him, kiss him and tell him how much you had missed him, you turned again to face your glass of wine.

Behind your position, you heard him heavily sighing while closing the door. His steps came closer, taking a seat on the chair next to yours. A shiver ran down your backbone when his right knee touched slightly yours, putting your head to the opposite side of his. Sam was conscious that telling you he was too occupied to use his phone only would make it worse, stretching his hand above the table to hold your free one. He was aware of what a simple touch from him could cause on you, taking it in advantage as you sniffed back your frustrated want to cry and yell at him.

“I've misse—”.

“Fuck that, Samuel. And fuck you”. Interrupting him with such a painful hiss, you stood up to empty the glass in one gulp, walking towards the sink to leave it inside.

After what happened with the blip, the minimal thought of losing him generated you a kind of anxiety that suffocated you till making you pass out. Five years. You had been looking for your soulmate for five years. You waited for him, even praying to God to bring him back to you. And when he did, he promised you to never leave again. A week without a single report from him wasn't exactly a way to keep it.

You supported part of your weight against the counter, with both of your hands tightly gripping the edge of it, bowing your head down. Sam pressed his inner cheek with the tip of his tongue, not being sure of what to do. He knew he screwed what he pact with you, even if it wasn't his intention. Believing that it was better if there wasn't any more distance between the two of you, he got up from his chair to reach you in two strides. Your boyfriend urged you to turn around and face him, but you tilted away your head not wanting to look at him.

Crossing both arms on your chest to let him know with your posture that you were more sad than angry, Sam placed his hands on the sides of your neck, cleaning a wild tear running down your cheek by using his thumb.

“You're the only thing in my mind when we're not together”. He guaranteed you, looking for your reddened eyes. “I'm sorry. I truly am… Look at me, please, baby”.

“I saw it on the news, Samuel. I saw what that Captain America did. And you were there, standing next to James. Don't ask me to not be worried”. You spoke then with so much rage still stuck in your throat.

“We will talk about it tomorrow, I promis—”.

“You promise. That's what you said the last time and look at my phone. Nothing. Nothing from you in days”. You reproached him, clicking your tongue and interrupting him again.

“Then, I don't promise. I assure you I'll answer any question you have tomorrow”. His orbs stayed in place, not moving a single minimal inch from yours.

You didn't reply. No word came from your mouth. Mouth that he didn't hesitate to bring to his. Sam only gave you an ephemeral kiss, causing you to close your eyes just like him. A sneak peek of what was about to happen. It was no more than a second when you were devouring each other's lips. Desperate, eagerly. His tongue soon invaded your cavity, drinking the sweet moan you couldn't retain as his left hand went straight down your ass. He squeezed it making you slightly lean upon your bare tiptoes, as he made his way to between your legs.

The heat started to strangle you when he slid his free hand under your shirt to grip it around one of your boobs, freeing it from your bra. Your tongue continued fighting his, not caring about the lack of air within your lungs, as you rocked your needed core against the lump growing beneath the rough fabric of his jeans. Sam grunted against your lips, wishing for an instant to be in your kitchen and not in his sister's, so he could simply rip off your clothes and fuck like two animals in heat. He needed to control himself, but he just simply couldn't, hearing your lower pleasing vocals.

“No, no, no, please, Sam...” You sobbed in a whisper, tangling your fingers in his shirt when he tried to take a step back.

“Shit, baby girl… You drive me insane”. He uttered into your ear as your mouth landed on his neck. Kissing, biting, and pulling up his skin between your teeth.

Sam's hands pawed your body strongly, pressing your body against the counter to make you feel what you caused on him. Having to take care of not being heard or caught on action just turned him on high-sky, but he was conscious that it wouldn't be a good scene for his nieces.

“C'mon… lemme take you to my room”. He asked you, finally settling some distance barely breathing, holding your hand to quickly guide you upstairs.

a / n: thank you for reading! if you liked it, please, leave a comment and reblog it, i'd really appreciate it.

tag list: @whoreforsamwilson @naboo-nights @natashadeservedbetter @lazypeachsoul @phoenixhalliwell @wanniiieeee @morganayenneferburnham @puthyprincess @superhoeva @edencherries @fookinsuckmecockmate @peterssweetpea @pixieyosi @marvel-diaries @bionicbarnes @jamiereads @missroro @loudbluepancake @iinvisiblewings @strawb3rrydr3ss @mariahthelioness29 @tlcwrites @shizzybarnaclee @teti-menchon0604 @reichelhache @mack-jay @harami-mami

you can add yourself to my tag list in the link you'll find in the masterlist.

[diamondcitydarlin]

How do you picture the lokius reunion going in season 2? Do you believe in the ‘Sylvie enchanted Loki theory’?

I'm gonna be honest, any time I try to think of season 2 as it's shaping up to be right now I try to imagine the WORST things it could possibly be so maybe if my standards are like...below sea level I won't be shocked or disappointed. But I also, as it stands, don't plan to watch season 2 unless I see something that absolutely compels me to because I don't think the team that exists is interested in writing a show I would like.

So, here are some worst case scenario possibilities I've thought up, really tried to anticipate W*ldron's mediocrity here: 1) Season 2 opens with, inexplicably, Loki deciding he needs to "go find Sylvie" (because according to Tom and the others this -is- the plan) for reasons that really only seem like more of Loki's "she needs me" assertion which is rooted in...nothing. New Mobius helps him do that or something and then disappears from the narrative entirely and no one even cares about old Mobius because this is the S*lki show now okay? 2) idk some other combo of events that ends with Mobius being sidelined/forgotten/reduced to just a few scenes on the side and further pivots Loki into a simp for his female self. My brain starts to melt when I try to anticipate what will actually happen lmao.

Of course...what I'd like to see is a totally different thing, because one can absolutely pull a better plot out of what happened (such as it was) in season one. It's not gonna happen, but it could. Like, it makes more sense to me that Loki's goal at this point would concern the multiverse itself and not necessarily a focus on finding/saving one particular person or another. Everything's been split open now and he's in another timeline entirely than where he came from, so clearly the shit has hit the fan. He may indeed just have a glorious purpose again, just not one that he avidly asked for lol. (and why on earth would he go after Sylvie specifically other than to address this issue? How does that AT ALL make sense after she has made it very clear nothing's happening here? It was a bit of a stretch that Loki would believe she 'needed him' at all, the concept of him still trying to trail after her to 'save' her or win her affections or whatever goal he's supposed to have is unsettling to me for a number of reasons)

As such, my initial Lokius reunion would be bittersweet because it'd be this alternate version of Mobius- one that does not know Loki and has not been groomed to be an expert on them, likely doesn't even know who they are. Maybe Loki goes with Mobius' initial guess that he's an Agent for awhile, but eventually I'd like to see him kinda lose it in a moment of vulnerability and admit the truth to new Mobius; "I knew you before...and you knew me, perhaps with better clarity than I've ever known myself" he admits he was a variant, etc, and when tears start to gather at the reminder that ever again finding the Mobius he knew in the brand new mess that is the open, unregulated multiverse would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, this new Mobius is there for him with just the right words he needs to hear to get back on track.

Okay but at the same time, I'd have us follow the original Mobius in his own subplot on the side. Now that Ravonna's left and Kang has been unseated, maybe his version of the TVA has really started to fall apart (literally, maybe walls are fucking falling down like how cool would the visual of the timekeeper's huge statue heads breaking off and falling several stories be). Him and B-15 realize they need to get the fuck out of there (maybe they take Casey with them bc I love him your honor) and so they do, and thus begins their side journey to the same goal Loki is trying to reach.

I...also just want visuals of OG!Mobius becoming further unwraveled as he travels- his hair could grow out, maybe B-15 helps him learn better hand-to-hand combat with the pruning sticks, he becomes a bit more rugged in that time. And who doesn't want that lol

From there, I'd have both of their plots run side by side until they intersect somewhere towards the third act of the season, ideally in the middle of a heated moment, or maybe this one idea I have of them both trying to sneak around/into some kind of fortress or lair that is of importance, trying to stay hidden from enemies, until they end up just bumping into each other lol.

And even more fun, both of them knows the multiverse is split and perhaps prior to this both of them have met multiple versions of each other, so neither of them realizes at least at first that this is -the- original thing, not aided by the fact that Mobius' hair has grown out and he's wielding pruning sticks like num-chuks lmao (thank you fan art!)

"M-Mobius...! Well...-a- Mobius anyway..." (he pulls out his dagger and holds it as Mobius throat) "So? Are you friend or foe, Mobius?"

But Mobius has the sharp end of a pruning stick against Loki's abdomen before he can do anything.

"I could ask the same of you."

(and then they spar and it's kind of sexual tension-y/almost playful like they're both enjoying it more than anything, until one or the other says something that only the OG version would know about)

As for the enchanting theory; I am not at all confident that this will manifest as a thing in canon, as it seems the writers really want to believe Loki's behavior can just be explained by 'he somehow fell in love with someone he knew for 12 hours despite having trust issues'. However, it indisputably makes sense with what's happened already and would be a very powerful way to kick-off the second season and reconcile some of the weird choices made in the first one. So yeah, I -want- to believe it. I believe a writer worth their salt would take advantage of it, but that's not anyone who works on this show so probably won't happen.

Thankfully Lokius has a huge, extremely talented fandom that have carried on their story better than Marvel could ever hope to with the millions, billions of dollars they have at their disposal. Absolutely tragic lol.

[stargaze-issei]

— "𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞" (𝐛. 𝐤𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭; when your father, the head of the japanese mafia, was killed, your childhood friend swore to protect you till his death. now, you're the empress of the underground world, and he doesn't know what's harder, to keep you safe or manage to hide his feelings. what will he do when, for the first time, your life's at risk and he isn't anywhere near?

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞; mafia!au, angst.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬; swearing, mentions of blood, guns, murder, kidnap, yk... mafia stuff.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭; 2.7k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; lemme know if u want a part two bc i felt like it was getting too long and i don't know if anyone will read it or like it 👉🏻👈🏻

"where the fuck are you?" bakugou's voice stroke over the phone, noticeably angry. he had told you several times to never go anywhere without him, which you mostly did, if it weren't for him being away a lot of times. nothing less was expected from your right hand, who handled every dirty job, and considering your line of work, it wasn't scarce. but you did had other bodyguards, just as trained as katsuki, willing to give their lifes for you, which was extremely better than having bakugou giving his life.

to his eyes, you were still the little girl from before. he saw you as a someone who needed protection. at first, you agreed. your father was murdered, someone managed to get through all his security and killed him, none of the guns he and his security team carried around could protect him, killing you would be like stealing a sweet from a baby. bakugou had always kept you safe, despite his agressive usual safe, he cared about you more than he cared for himself. so you stuck to his side, believing, hoping, he'd die for you. but that was a long time ago, now, you could defend yourself, and had raised a sense of loyalty in your people by your own. your father's empire was based in fear, yours? by admiration. you didn't see your people as working ants, but as important parts of a whole. still, anyone who was a threat to you, bakugou made sure to erase them forever.

"don't talk to me like that, i'm your boss" you could feel him losing his shit, a smile began to form in your face. even when everyone respected you, he was still the same.

"you can't boss anyone if you're fucking dead, you dumb shit" a laugh came out of your throat, he couldn't avoid smiling at the sound "wait, oh, okay, i know we're you are. stay there, i'll be in three" he hung up before you could reply.

you looked back, at one of your guards who was just putting away his phone. of course they told him. why couldn't you go get your own coffee? being in the office all day was tiring, to be five minutes outside was all you asked for. a few seconds after, they handed you your coffee, obviously, a guard had to try it first, in case that barista wanted to suddenly murder you. of course he didn't.

"who let her go outside without me knowing, huh?" a furious katsuki appeared through the door, making a scene in the place. you gave him a warning look. if there was something you hated, was that. everyone in the area knew who you were, but why make it any more obvious. those people were just living their usual lifes, and people tend to get nervous around you. "the car is waiting outside" he understood, but you knew he was going to scold you anyways.

you walked outside, smiling, and got into the car, followed by katsuki and one of his subordinates, the other one got in the front sit, next to the driver.

"save it, i'm n–"

"the fuck you are" he cut you "your safety is my responsibility, if i say you can't go out without me, then you fucking don't. specially not when there are people after your head" there was no denying he was right, but still, it upset you.

"there's always people after my head, bakugou".

two weeks ago, two men went into your office. they were in charge of some dealing territories, though small, important. most contraband had to pass those places, you controlled those police departments making everything easier to your truck drivers. they were beaten, cover in blood and barely standing.

"our men, all of them... they all..." only one of them could talk, the other being too shocked to even look at you. "kazuhito's men, it was them... they said we had to tell you, they're coming after you" you couldn't show any fear in front of your so called soldiers, and your template remained at ease. a shout was enough to get those men the help they needed, after holding their hands, you promised to go see them once they were checked by doctors. you called bakugou as soon as they left, he was the first who should know and help you decide what to do next.

the kazuhito family had always been rivals, enemies of the worst kind. everyone suspect they were behind your father's assassination, but with no proof, even you knew it would be the biggest mistake to charge against them, despite your personal desires.

"i already told the drivers they had to take rout b for a while, but we can't let them just keep what's our" you explained to katsuki once he arrived. "those drugs have to get in town by us, damnit". it was clear how frustrated you were, those assholes had mess with your and your father's hardwork.

"if we retaliate, a war will unchain. your father tried to avoid that for years"

"and see how he ended up" bakugou didn't know if it was the anger, or you talking. "we will lose everyone's respect if we don't do something, they killed dozens of our people, katsuki".

he was trying hard to stay objective in that situation, but it was near impossible. a war would put you in more danger than ever, your life was at stake, and bakugou wasn't sure if he was willing to risk it. growing up by your side, your father taking him in when his parents died, you were his only family. more than that, he loved you. the only reason he was able to do his job right, was the fear of losing you. your head was already valued in millions, how could he protect you in the middle of a conflict, that would end only with your death or the kazuhito's leader's death? your power was bigger than theirs by little, but they did something that reckless, which meant they thought they had out powered you. had they? or were they just bluffing? had they miscalculated?.

"we're taking action, wether you support me or not" you looked into each other's eyes, you knew him enough to understand his fear, just not the reason behind it. your voice softened "but i'd much rather do it with you by my side".

"you're the boss" he spoke, already regretting it "i'll schedule a meeting so the high charges let everyone else know, i'm staying at your place so we can trace a plan".

and there you were now, being reprimanded by bakugou. he was extremely tired, he decided to stay with you until things were calmer, which could be several months from then. getting up at six a.m, going to sleep past midnight, being always looking for possible threats, it had given him bags under his eyes.

"i'm sorry" you said once you were alone with him, it was only then that you could let your guard down "i'm making this harder for you".

"yeah, you are. but it's my job, after all" that came out wrong, he thought. it wasn't his job, it was his fucking life purpose. he wanted you to live a long, happy life, as hard as it seemed.

"i guess it is" deep down, his response disappointed you.

"hey, look at me" out of nowhere, his body was insanely close to yours, you felt his breath in your face as he lifted your chin with his finger "there's nothing i wouldn't do for you, got that, dumbass?"

for a brief moment, the taste of his lips was all you could think about. i bet they're soft. but as fast as it started, it was over, katsuki pulled away harshly, inventing an excuse to leave. he had flown too close to the sun, so close that it burned his skin.

a few more people went to see you that day, asking for diverse permissions, advice and stuff like that. since it had been slow, compared to other times, you decided to home early. a call to your team, and the car was already outside. bakugou left instructions for your departure, because he had things to do somewhere else, much to his displeasure. you were accompanied by your escorts to the doors of the building, that seemed like a normal office compound. there were waiting two other guards, making a total of six people protecting you. way to go, bakugou.

"how's your wife, ryota?" you asked the driver. of course, not everyone fitted in the same car, so you got into the second one, middle seat, between a built up woman and a big man. you tried to remember everyone's name, but it was difficult.

"she's good, ma'am, sends her regards" he smiled at you over the mirror.

"and the baby? he must be a month old, right?" at the memory of his child, his face lightened "you should take some days off, i bet your wife and son miss you"

"i have a duty with you, m–" a loud impact interrupted him, the front glass had exploded. the car had an abrupt movement back and forward, all you could see was blood, everywhere.

the woman next to you took her gun out, in order to protect you , you thought, completely wrong. before everyone could react to her act, she shot the guard in front of you.  you looked at your side, searching for someone alive, the same bullet that had killed ryota was in the guard's at your right forehead. besides you , the only other person was that woman. if she hadn't glasses on, that stare could've seen throughout your soul. then you remembered, katsuki made you bare with a knife under your sleeve. with a weird move, you felt its sharpness against your skin, it was there, but she read you like a book. before you could even pull it out, another shot stroke followed by a intense pain in you thight. the bitch had shot you. you blamed it on the adrenaline, because nothing hurt. what happened after was a couple of blurry images in your memory.

bakugou had called you more than a hundred times, you, the drivers, the guards, everyone in his fucking team, but no one knew anything. the cameras at your house never showed you arriving, your phone's location was off. he was out of his head, if he didn't hear from you in the next five minutes, someone's going to die. he rushed into his car, following your rout at a dangerous speed. 

both cars were full of bullet holes, and every guard he had hired was dead. there wasn't a place without blood. tears of pure rage came to his eyes, fuck, it was his fault. he started to look for you, but the whole world was spinning around him. where were you? where was your body? were you alive?, this couldn't be happening. he had left you unprotected, alone, and now you could be dead, because of his uselessness. his phone vibrated in his pocket.

"sir, we– we have– the kazuhito's are here" he left as fast as he came. they had touch you, they had taken you away from him, and he wasn't going to let them get away with it, even if he had to go against a whole army, whoever was behind it all was going to pay.

a man in a suit was sitting in the chair of your office, smoking a cigarette, as calm as a rock. katsuki was so close to rip his head of right there, that somebody had to hold him down. his own people updated him, saying that he had gone into the building alone, with no weapons of any kind, not even a cellphone.

"where the fuck is she?" he crashed his hand against the desk.

"ah, mr. bakugou, please take a se–"

"tell me where she is right now if you want to keep your head, fucking bastard" his hand had wondered to the tip of the gun in his belt, menacing to blow up at any second.

"you won't do that, mr., if i don't return to my people in one hour, she'll be so fucked up that not even you will recognize her" a laugh surge grom bakugou, a dark, cold laugh.

"i don't have to kill you, then" one of the man's hand rested in the desk, like asking for katsuki to rip it off his body. as you did, he also carried knifes under his shirt. in less than a second, one of them was buried into the man's hand. he screamed, both in shock and pain, giving your bodyguard a hatred look. "what do you want, shitface?"

"i-it's quite simple, actually" his face was white as paper, and even though he wanted to talk normally, his voice shivered "we want you to take over the y/l/n's business, under our command of course" he let out a sigh, trying to keep his composure and ignoring his bleeding hand "if you– if you agree, she will have to leave japan and never..."

bakugou won't agree to that. not now and not ever. to give away what you and your father built from scratch, and spent decades keeping safe, was like killing your child, and your father's memory. to send you away, alone, where he most likely won't see you again in years, was also off the table. it wasn't funny anymore. he started walking around the man's chair, picking up his sleeves. he checked the clock in the office, he had forty-five minutes with the man, meaning, forty-five minutes to make him talk. he ressourced to every fast interrogation method he knew. the people outside the door weren't surprised when they heard the man's screams, even wondering what had taken so long for the boss to start acting. katsuki was never a patient man. his senses were blocked, he couldn't hear anything but screams and begging, all his eyes could see was pain through all the man's body, his hands felt nothing but warm blood. but for the first time in a while, he wasn't enjoying it. he was doing it out of need, the need to save you. every minute that went by, was a minute were your life risked. he never felt so close to losing his sanity.

"outside the city! she's in one of our safe houses outside the city! i don't know which, please stop!" ten minutes before the timeline he finally gave up. your intelligence had all their safe houses, storages, garages, every location needed. not a second passed when one of yours men delivered a map with all the points marked. there were five in total.

"throw him outside in ten minutes" he shouted, walking to the armory "two teams, six people each, my fucking people, hear me? now, dammit! we're leaving in a minute, if i have to go by my fucking self, i'll do it"

when he was armed to the teeth, almost a dozen of people followed him outside. they were his most trusted men and women, being trained together, he knew they were as skilled as him, and they were all willing to put their life's at stake for you, their boss. in the car, bakugou barked the instructions. he had narrowed it down to two possible locations with all the information he had. if they had to kill every person in those places, then be it. he's going to get you back.

[marchtomydrums]

In the beginning 6

Alex Cabot X Casey Novak X Reader

Alex’s POV:

Today has been extremely long and I’m ready to go home. Walking into my office I see you sitting on the couch crying.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Your headshot up at my voice quickly drying your tears.

“Alex, sorry I thought you’d be in court. I just came in here for privacy.” You stuttered.

“Why are crying?” I ask sitting across from you holding your hands in mine. You shake your head “Jack fucking railed my ass today. He doesn’t think I’m cut out for this.”

Anger spikes in my body. How dare he? Seeing you hurt and crying because of his words pissed me off.

“I’ll kill him.”

“No Alex, I have to deal with this on my own.”

“But he’s wrong. He doesn’t see you every day as I do. You can do this y/n. He’s full of shit.”

You chuckle at my words squeezing my hands.

“Well, I appreciate that Alex but again I have to do this on my own. I just came in here to be alone. They’re vultures out there.”

“Yes, I’m all too aware. Either way, don’t let Jack or anyone else cause you to doubt yourself. Take it in stride and keep fighting. Understand me?”

“Yes. Thank you.” You lean in to hug me and I kiss the top of your head. As you pull back I can’t stop myself from taking your lips into mine. I don’t stop until my lungs burn for air regretfully I pull away. You lean your forehead against mine our breath mingling together. You stayed like that for a while until you calmed down.

“ Sorry.” You mumbled quietly to me as if you were embarrassed.

“It’s okay. We all have bad days.” I tell you.

“What time is it?”

“7:30 why?”

“Shit! I missed the bus. I’ll have to wait for the one at 9.”

“I can take you home or you can come back to the house with me.”

“I would but I have an appointment tomorrow and the office is closer to my apartment.”

“Okay, well I’ll drive you home.”

“It’s out of your way. I’ll be fine.”

“You think I’d leave you here?” I ask you.

“Get your stuff, I’ll drive you home.”

The drive there is quiet. I keep looking between you and the road trying to see if I can read your expressions. As we pull up I notice it’s not a very good neighborhood.

“This is where you live?”

“Yes.”

I put the car in park as you quickly lean over to peck my cheek and try to exit the car.

“Wait!” I say tugging your arm. You stop to look at me.

“Can I come up?”

“Do you want to?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. This place doesn’t really seem like your scene.”

I chuckle “let’s go up.”

Walking into the apartment I notice how small it is. The layout is similar to a studio and I’m sure you pay an arm and a leg for it.

“Well, this is it?”

I take a minute to look around. Even though it’s small you’ve made it cozy. My eyes are drawn to the photos on the wall.

“These are beautiful.”

“Thanks.”

I stop to see the blush across your face.

“Wait. Did you take these?”

“Yeah. “

“Y/n these are really good.”

“It’s just a hobby.”

I smile at you as I continue to look around.

“You have a nice book collection. You read a lot?”

“Yeah.”

“Me too. This your siblings?” I question holding the framed picture.

“Yeah, two sisters and my brother.”

“You close?”

“Yeah. But I don’t really see them much since I moved.” You say sadly.

“Umm, you should go. Casey is probably wondering where you are.”

“Casey’s visiting her mom tonight. I already told her where I was. She said she was going to call you later on.”

“Oh.”

“But if you want me to leave I can.”

“No.! I just I don’t know Alex, I don’t know how to do this with you.”

“Do what?”

“This! I mean one minute your nice and you want to spend time with me and the next you’re tearing my head off. I don’t know what to do here.”

I’m quiet for a minute processing what you just said. Mentally kicking myself for making you feel this way. Why can’t I just open up to you? Why do I feel like I need to be on guard all the time? I look over to see you watching me.

“I’m sorry. I’m trying. That’s why I came up here. I want to know more about you. I want to have what you and Casey have. I keep fucking it up.” I breathe out heavily.

“Alex, you don’t have to try so hard. I get being guarded but like I’ve said before I won’t make Casey choose. You really need to figure out what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Well, your actions speak louder than your words Alex,” you tell me as you're about to walk off. I grab your arm stopping your escape leaning in to kiss you gently on the lips.

“I want you,” I whisper against your lips. I can feel your smile.

“Let's watch a movie. And ill stay the night if that's okay.” I ask you trying to prove to you that I want this to work. You nod your head yes and we do just that. As much as id love to touch you and kiss I refrain. I want you to be ready and sure before we do anything. I want to be able to love you the way Casey loves you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today has been rather quiet around the office much to your surprise. Alex has you copying some documents and running flies from here to there. You're about to head back to your desk when you see Casey standing across the room. You walk up beside her and lean over to see what she's looking at. There's a girl in Alex’s office, she is young and pretty. The two are laughing as they talk oblivious to the world around them.

“Whose that?”

“Emma something, she wants a job here.”

“And flirting with Alex is going to help her to get it?” I ask Casey jealousy evident in my voice.

Casey chuckles “I guess she thinks so.”

“Hmmph.”

“Yup. I'm just watching.”

The two of you watched as Alex and Emma talked. Emma must be a comedian the way Alex is laughing. You roll your eyes at the laughter that rolls out of Alex’s chest. Casey seems indifferent about it until the girl's hand is on Alex’s shoulder. Her body tenses up for a moment.

“You know if she gets this job she’ll be

Alex’s right-hand man. You will answer to both of them. “

“So you're telling me I not only work for the Ice Queen but Malibu Barbie as well?”

Casey laughs “that's a good one! We should call her that.”

You roll your eyes at Casey as Alex and Emma are walking out of the office. You both smile at the girl as she walks by before making a beeline to Alex’s office.

“Can I help you two or do you just like watching me work?” Alex asked looking between the two of you.

“Does she work here now?” you asked sharply. Alex is taken back by your attitude and is quiet for a minute.

“Yes, she does. She starts tomorrow.”

“Hmmph. “

“Is there a problem?”

“Nope. Not at all. Do you need me?”

“Uhh no. You can take lunch if you want. I figured the three of us would go out.” Alex says looking at Casey for some sort of explanation.

“I’m actually meeting my brother he's in the city for two days. So I'll see y'all later,” you say walking out the door. Alex looks over at Casey shocked.

“What the hell was that about?”

“You were flirting with Emma.”

“No, I wasn't!”

“Looked that way to us.”

“So you're mad at me too?”

“Nah, you know better than to cheat on me.”

Casey tells her nonchalantly. Alex chuckled shaking her head as Casey walked out of the office swaying her hips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a week since Emma started and she's already on your last nerve. When she's not asking you to go fetch her coffee she's talking to you about how hot Alex is. You've already told Casey to get the bail money ready because you are about to lose it on Emma. Casey assured you that Emma isn't Alex’s type however, Alex hasn't said a word to you about it. All day long they spend talking to each other and laughing. Meanwhile, Alex barely pays you any attention unless it's to run files or get coffee.

It's late in the afternoon and almost everyone has gone for the day. Casey left early to stay with her mom for the night and you are supposed to be riding home with Alex. However, Emma is still in there talking her up. Finally, Emma is leaving but not before talking to you.

“Your still here?”

“Yup, I'm here when Alex is here so.”

“Oh yeah. She's great isn’t she?”

“Yup. She's something alright.”

“Do you know if she's dating anyone?”

“What?!”

“Alex. Is she seeing someone?”

You're looking for the words but it seems that Malibu Barbie has rendered you speechless.

“Umm.”

“I think I might ask her out. She's hot, god I bet she's good in bed too.”

Emma is going on and on and all you can do is just stare at her in disbelief.

“Anyways, I'll see you tomorrow bye. “

You sit there for a minute replaying her words in your head. Jealousy taking over your body. You shot up out of your chair and into the office slamming the door behind you. Alex jumps at the noise looking at you confused. She called your name but you ignore her as you make your way behind her desk. You pull her up on her feet and kiss her. Your tongue demanding access in her mouth. You grab her ass pulling her closer to you Alex moans in your mouth. You pull back with your lungs burning for air. You look up at Alex who still has her eyes closed.

“Your mine,” you tell her pulling her body into yours.

“I never said I wasn't,” Alex says confused.

“Emma wants to ask you out. She thinks you are hot and good in bed.”

“Well, she's not lying.” Alex chuckled.

“Your mine,” you growled.

Alex looks at you with a smile, her eyes are a darker shade of blue.

“I'm yours,” Alex says nodding her head as she leans in to kiss you once more. This kiss is slower this time. Pulling back you rest your forehead onto Alex’s trying to catch your breath.

“I want you, Alex.” you barely whisper.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Y/n if this is about Emma I promise you that was never going to be a thing. I'd never do that to Casey or You. “

“I know that. It just pissed me off that she was thinking about you like that.”

“So we don't have to do this if you aren't ready. I don't want you to feel obligated or regret it.” You smile at Alex’s words seeing just how sweet she could be. Brushing her hair behind her ears you can’t help but stare at her.

“You’re so beautiful.” Alex blushes at your comment.

“I want you and I know that if I changed my mind you’d still hold me tonight. But I want you Alex. I need you.”

Alex leans in to kiss you again grinning from ear to ear.

“Let’s go home.”

[eusuntgratie]

4, 10, 13, 17, 18, 25, 27, 36 sorry they're good and stuff.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

hahahaha i know this isn't the intent of the question but y'all already know it's baby. got hit with that first baby in a buddie wip i'm reading and felt myself physically swoon.

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

um. i feel like there's definitely things i'm not thinking of but the your blue eyed boys series and its sequel series. god. i think about it all the time. i used to re-read the whole thing every year but i haven't in awhile. something about steve's complete and utter dedication to bucky, his tenacity in figuring out a way to help him despite having no fucking clue where to start just does something to me. the things they carried kind of collectively fucked up my entire friend group in high school. this is me trying haunts me. tiny houses. oof. there are definitely more not-fic examples but i can't think of them atm bc i barely read anything besides fic lately.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

maybe grief. i have a hard time putting the small quiet moments of loving someone into words. things that resonate with me personally are sometimes easier to write and sometimes harder, it just depends how i'm doing and what i'm writing.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

okay i'm gonna talk about shadow even though i'm not really actively writing it right now bc i've been thinking about it for REASONS and bc its my beefiest wip. its one of the million fics spawned by a buddie playlist you made me (MWAH!) inspired by one particular song on there. a very specific scene of baby eddie at a college party with his sister meeting a very out and very queer and slightly older buck and just losing his whole ass mind came to me on my work commute.

so basically the fic started with this mental image of buck in a crop top and glitter - you can see him here lovingly drawn by @demonlandline 😍😍😍 like the image was SO clear in my head and still is and i still can't believe i get to look at him eep

but then its sort of spiralled out into this much larger story of eddie exploring his queerness and facing the ideas of who he was supposed to be and i think i'm probably gonna project a lot of my catholic bullshit and thoughts about my own queerness and all the other reasons i am obsess about eddie into the story. and i think it will be a beast to write, because there will be some fun scenes and i'm planning for a lot of smut but there will be a lot of heavy shit too. so it'll be awhile before i can focus on it but. i'm excited about it.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

i was really really nervous to write Q, because I'd never really fleshed out an OC before but mostly because they're nonbinary and i'm cis and i just didn't want to fuck up.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

sex?! hah. there's a reason i'm so comfortable writing smut. 🤷🏻‍♀️ parenting. healthy communication and healthy romantic relationships. i guess i could write more about gardening or sewing or taking care of an iguana or cooking or any of my other weird/random experiences/interests but i don't think i've really worked any of that into my writing yet. i definitely know way too much about higher education in the us but i have no interest at all in writing about that :)

okay i skipped two bc this is hella long and i'm afraid tumblr will eat it before i can post

weird writer asks | ask me

[andallthatmishigas]

pls may i ask two for the fanfic ask? bc i am still stuck on them ♡♡♡

walking the wire & a new genesis ♡♡♡

(you have no idea how much your writing helps me through things and i feel weird leaving a comment every time but maybe i should start so you know)

Oh my goodness bless you. I love these questions, and I love those stories so so so so much. And you can comment 10000 times and I'll love it 10000+ times. Because I genuinely do go back and reread reviews all the time. It makes me so happy!

Anyway onto this. Walking the Wire and A New Genesis for each question:

2. What scene did you first put down?

WtW: I had the first scene written for a long time before I actually wrote anything more or even thought of any plot beyond that one moment. The idea of Lucien asking Jean out on a date and being all nervous about it and adorable. I had that saved in my notes and then the more I listened to the Imagine Dragons song (of the same name as the story), it sort of came together in my head.

ANG: First chapter. I had the plot and concept in my mind for a while and then sat down and just wrote that first chapter in one go while at my parents' house for some reason. In case it wasn't obvious, I am the kind of writer who starts at the beginning and goes from there. I can't skip around. I'm way too Type A for it lol.

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

WtW:

Lucien continued, "And now, being here together, I can't help thinking that us being together, hopefully marrying one day soon…I know it won't be an easy road, Jean. For you much moreso than for me. But I just hope that if we can cling to each other, we can stay up here always. Holding each other and walk the wire together. There's no limit to how high we can go. And if anyone else has a problem with it, well…"

"Look out down below," she interjected softly.

ANG:

Lucien paused right in front of the altar table, placed his hands down flat on it, and leaned forward. Jean could not see is face, but from the tone of his voice she could hear him sneer, "What did I ever do to You? How did I offend You so brutally that You subject me to this? I was arrogant, I was oblivious, sometimes uncaring. I know that. I won't deny it. I've lived a far from perfect life. But wasn't the camp punishment enough? Wasn't losing my family in front of my eyes enough penance for my sins?" He pushed off the table and started shouting. "I have served you faithfully! I have led your flocks! Why have You tempted me with love and happiness that You have forbidden me to possess? Is it a test? Well, surely I've failed. Surely I would fail any test because of her."

11. What do you like best about this fic?

WtW: The first half, I think, is really good. It falters a bit towards the end. But I love the exploration I got to do with Jean's judgmental attitude towards Lucien and divorce and her lust and herself and how she overcomes all of that. I think that struggle is the thing I like best. I've got to reread this one soon.

ANG: This story combines one of my favorite things which is sexualizing and blaspheming the Catholic Church. Protestants? Nothing sexy there. Catholics? That's my shit. And I just get such a thrill over blasphemy tbh. Nice Jewish girl vibes, thank you very much. (The scene where Lucien fucks Jean on the altar in the church is what I was entirely building up for the whole entire story and I'm super proud of it.)

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

WtW: So I was making playlists for each of my major stories for a little while, but I didn't start doing that until after I'd finished each of these two stories, BUT this story is 100% inspired by THIS SONG which I was just captivated by and needed to write something for it.

ANG: This was tough for me to answer. I don't think I have a specific song or artist or vibe for this one. I looked through my other story playlists for some Blake fics (Forever in Your Arms, Ivy) and the closest I could really think of to apply to this story was THIS SONG which is less blasphemy, my favorite theme of the story, and more the sort of obsessive sacrifice that Lucien goes through so I suppose it works.

[fangirl-everythang]

Happy Father's Day Part 3

Summary: 3/3 Well, its the last part.

Warning: Sad, Mentions Death.

Word Count: 2269

"Harry? " I answer the phone.

"It's not Harry but glad you know your numbers." that high pitch annoying ass voice squeals. Rubbing my stomach, the baby's in go position and any day now my oven will be done baking. And of course, this bitch is answering his phone.

"Well bye-bye just thought you should know where he was at. " In the background, I hear Harry's voice going on about something so it must be true. Hanging up I sigh letting the hot tears roll down my cheeks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I blame myself really, I let him back into my life and this doesn't surprise me. I gotta pee.

Waddling over to the bathroom door a gasp leaves my mouth feeling the surge of liquids fall between my legs. Holy shit. My water broke! Fuck gotta go. Thankful my bag was already in the car. Harry had insisted once I hit the 36-week mark claiming Styles's are either early or fashionably late.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My knuckles turning white as I grasp the wheel. Nope, I'm not pushing anything out of my vagina. Can't do it. I refuse.

The contraction going away after a few brief moments of completely unreasonable pain. Dialing the numbers, I know by second nature, thankfully she picks up on the fourth ring.

"I don't think you should drive y/n"

" Just call 911. I'm almost there! " Gemma ecstatically shouts. She's just like her brother, "Where's Harrold? "

I put the seatbelt on and wince. It's just 28 minutes I can do this. "He's with his whore."

I can hear an audible gasp, "he wouldn't he's so excited for Athena"

"Well I just called him and she answered. " I grunt keeping my eyes on the two lanes ahead of me. Fuck I hate merging lanes people don't know how to drive.

"I'll be at the hospital as soon as possible but my phones gonna-" the line went dead. She did say she was on like 10% oh well.

I can do this just focus y/n. "Hear that baby girl we're almost there, hang on okay Hunny. " I say as a reminder to myself that soon I'll be leaving with another human with me.

6 miles to go that's what I'm talking about, another sharp pain spreads throughout my abdomen while waiting for the light to turn green. "OH COME ON. FOR FUCKS SAKE!" they're getting closer by the minute. Shit. Arriving at a four-way intersection. I'm relieved to be at a red light, the contractions are longer and much more frequent. "Almost there Athena, this is the last light and a straight shot from there."

Abruptly my car is jerked forward with a sharp impact pushing to the oncoming lights. All I see are lights from both directions colliding with my 3,000-pound piece of metal. Sounds of shattering glass and sirens are the last thing I hear before it all fades to black.

||||||||||||||||

Harry's POV

"Has anyone seen Mr. Style's phone?" The helpful aid asked around the dressing room. I could've sworn I put it down for a moment. Y/n could go into labor any minute now and how I am supposed to know. Fuck. I'm stupid.

I was supposed to be here to perform and list nominees and then go back home to y/n. I can't wait to propose to her, she's all I could ever want and she's giving me the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for. Running a hand through my damp hair, the lights really build a sweat, I hear a familiar voice. "Looking for this lover? " she asks slipping my phone into my pocket.

"Good luck at home. " she smiles and winks. Before I could question it she walks away.

Looking down at the device my heart skips a beat, I have 146 missed calls. And I've been gone for 5 hours. Seeing Gemma's name on the screen again I swipe to answer.

"Hell-"

"Harry," she says sniffling.

"Gemma what's wrong? did I miss it? Oh my god I hope not"

"I think it would be best if you came now Harry." she breaks her voice cracking.

"Gem what?"

"Listen Harry, she needs you right now so please." she cries. Not needing another word, I tell Jackson the address and that I need to be there as fast as possible, 45 minutes later we're pulling into the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital.

"Congrats Harry!" Jackson says letting me out at the door. "Thank you!" I beam back at him.

Seeing Gemma, her eyes are puffy with tears still flowing. "Gem what's wro-," a sharp pain to my right cheek stings. Never has Gemma hit me like that, well not since I cut her prom dress. "How could you Harry? Cheat on her again WITH TAYLOR for Christ sakes!" She yells.

"I didn't cheat," I explain to my sister as calm as I can.

She looks at me with wild eyes pulling me into a hallway with fewer people, "Then what happened Harrold?" I clench my jaw instead of speaking, how dare she accuse me of cheating on my pregnant soon-to-be fiancé. Y/n Styles has a great catch don't you think?

"Is she here yet? Gem where are they?" I ask ready to see my new family.

She begins crying again "Harry there was an accident." Those five words make my breathing come to a halt. My heart shatters in a million pieces "Is Y/n okay? What happened?" She begins walking me to a door. "This one," she points. Looking through the glass I see y/n with bruises and cuts to her beautiful face, her stomach nearly deflated from when I last saw her this morning, a cast on a swollen leg of hers, and a sling holding a very damaged arm. Tears brim at my eyes looking at my love on that hospital bed. "She's awake." Gemma walks past me running to the outside.

I gently knock on the door, waiting for a response which I don't get. "Y/n?" I approach her almost as If I were going to help an injured puppy. "Hey love" I smile at her which she glares at me and then turns wincing in pain. "You wanted this didn't you Harry?" I look at her confused. "This is probably great for you, a way out. Well leave." She states using whatever energy she can find.

"Baby I didn't want- I want you and Athena" She breaks down in uncontrollable tears.

"You were with that her and couldn't even bother to pick up your phone!" she screams. "Y/n I wasn-" a knock at the door interrupts my sentence, "Come in" She says glaring at me as a nurse opens the door.

"Hey there Mama, we have a visitor." the nurse wheel in a tiny cart that has a bunch of equipment coming from it. She looks at me and asks Y/n, "Is this dad?" she nods and rolls her eyes. "About time you made it!" She smiles my way. Placing the beautiful baby in front of us. She's so small and fragile. "The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you." She states picking up the tiny child and putting her in Y/n's arm.

"Hi pumpkin," Y/n coos into her ear. "Guess who decided to show?" She smiles, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. She nods her head towards me as I go to hold her. She's so soft and precious. Her small eyes have a gorgeous mix of both mine and Y/n's. She has such a cute round face, I couldn't imagine her looking any different.

"Hi there angel, I'm so sorry I was late." I see a spot dampen on her blanket that surrounds her, knowing that I'm crying. Her small eyes shining like twinkling stars. So small I can feel her fragile body between my large hands.

Another knock before the door opens when several doctors walk in. "Mrs. Y/ln, unfortunately, we have some bad news,"

"Oh, hello there Mr. Styles." They state acknowledging my existence. One of the female doctors places a black and white image on the lighted board illuminating the small figure.

"Unfortunately, due to the accident, Athena has suffered from what we call a fetomaternal hemorrhage."

"What exactly are you saying?" Y/n ask looking at the child still in my arms.

The slightly shorter male doctor points to the image. "This is an abscess of blood in the brain. Unfortunately, the risk is too large to operate. I'd give her another day at most."

"You m-mean," Tears start pouring down her face" I was so scared she was hurt. I-I promise I saw the light it was red, and I-I stopped but," She began heaving losing more air with each word. I gently rub her back as I cradle Athena with one arm.

"She's still being monitored but I'm afraid she won't have much longer." The first doctor breaks the silence. "According to the police report the car that struck you from behind happened to be a drunk driver, Gage Joyce." I can feel the anger surging through me. "I remember the clashing of metal, glass breaking, the sirens but it all went b-black." She mumbles, seemingly remembering the awful experience. I grab her hand in hopes of comforting her but it doesn't seem to work.

"After striking your car at 72 mph it had ample force to push your vehicle into the opposite traffic. Your vehicle took the most impact and was hit by four other cars. On scene, EMT's said you were in and out of consciousness mumbling about a baby. Taken and brought to the L&D." he finishes.

"Fetomaternal hemorrhages are often caused by trauma and sometimes can be revered but in this case, we've done all we can do." They all frown looking at the small girl still in my arms.

"No, there's got to be more you can bloody do! We're in a hospital for Christ sakes!" I exclaim, passing my daughter to the love of my life. She gently caresses her soft skin. She's literally a perfect combination of us. I cannot lose my family.

"You can leave, thank you all for your help." y/n says quietly, they oblige by her wishes and leave us with our daughter.

"Harry," she wipes a tear from her face cautious of the IV placed on her hand, "If what they say is true, I just want to spend time with her." She sniffles. I nod understanding. She looks back at the small being in her arms, "Hi pretty girl, Mommy's so happy to meet you," she unfolds the blanket from her. I sit next to her on the small bed in the room that smells of sterilization. Placing my finger near hers' she wraps her small hand around my thumb, her grip so tight for someone so small. Y/n kisses her forehead, "Harry," she runs her finger along her small legs.

"Can you sing the song?" nodding and softly singing Isn't she Lovely by Stevie Wonder, in the small hospital bed as our new life falls asleep. All night I watch her little chest rise and fall allowing y/n to get some rest soon following my two loves.

By the early morning, nurses are rushing in because of the loud beeping from the monitor, waking y/n and I. It feels like everything is happening so fast but in slow motion right in front of me. Those three words are the ones I didn't want to hear. "No! no. I have to take her home. She's gotta go home..." Y/n screams, not being able to see her face due to the tears in my eyes falling and rebuilding themselves faster than the speed of light. "Call it." One of the nurses shouts.

"Time of Death 6:18 am March 7th, 2019"

As they cleared out the room, I see her small lifeless body curled into a blanket, almost as if she were sleeping, but no longer do breaths fall from her small heart-shaped lips.

//////////////////////////

Y/n hasn't said a word since we got in the car. It's been four days since we lost Athena. She slowly climbs into the car, still sore from the accident and birth. I go to the backseat holding back my emotions and putting the empty car-seat in the trunk of the car that should have been holding three of us.

Starting the silent journey back home she continues to look out of the window, a frown etched on her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks as she instinctively touches her somewhat deflated stomach. What kind of sick joke is this?

"Harry why were you with her?" she asks me looking down at what used to be her baby bump.

"I wasn't love, she took my phone while I was on stage." She just nods and remains silent until we pull up to the flat. She begins walking up the stairs as best she can. "Y/n wait, let me help."

"No Harry!" She yells. Pain evident in her voice, ignoring her I open the door and help her inside. "Harry I can't do this." I stare at her confused, "What can't you do y/n?"

"Us Harry. I can't look at you and not think of her." She sobs.

"Y/n we can-" I try to reason with her.

"No Harry, please just go." She whispers.

"I'm not losing both of you," I state holding back my own sobs. I feel like everything feels like it's getting smaller around me, suffocating in grief.

"You already have."

A/N: What can I say I have a thing for dark endings. Anyways I really appreciate the support loves. I hope you enjoy these! Right now I've been working on a Loki piece, I'm so excited for it. I changed the writing style tho, so it's not 1st person per usual. I think it's going pretty well so far.

xoxo Janelle