#I'll do a few more edits and then back to the real world to scream

[rosinbae]

see you again ⋆ kim taerae

◜✧◞ SYNOPSIS ─ as the episodes of boys planet progress, y/n finds himself drifting away from his best friend, kim taerae, who seems to no longer need him anymore.

◜✧◞ PAIRING ─ kim taerae x male!reader

◜✧◞ GENRE ─ angst, fluff if you squint.

◜✧◞ CONTINUATION ─ eventually

y/n feels hopeless.

kim taerae is his best friend, or was his best friend? he doesn't even know if he gets that label anymore. he's observed, watched with close eyes as the male he considers his best friend in the whole wide world slowly drifted away from him.

it's ironic, because he was the one who suggested that they join boys planet together. he was the one so excited about joining the show with his best friend, the two of them stayed up together giggling about how great it would be for the two of them to debut together.

that all seems to have flown out of the window now.

y/n knows mnet is fishy, he knows they evil edit whoever they want to for the sake of publicity and attention. he assumed that he would sort of be safe because he was a korean trainee.

oh how wrong he was.

it seemed that in the flip of a switch, everyone apart of the korean public was against him, like all it took for them to now hate his guts was mnet pulling a little trick.

he hates how overly emotional he is, because he had a breakdown about it a few hours after filming had been finished.

and of course, taerae was there. he was there to console him, comfort him, give him solace as he let y/n cry in his shoulder.

that was before he became.. well— distant.

the last real conversation he had with taerae didn't really end on a good note.

"you.. don't want me in the team?"

"no— y/n that's not what i mean" taerae says in an instant. he takes in a breath, biting his inner cheek. "it's just that, we have to kick someone out, they won't let us keep everyone".

"and i was the first choice?"

"well we talked about it—"

"without me?"

taerae shifts his gaze away, not saying more than he has to. y/n sighs, he's a chronic people pleaser, he wants to scream and shout and put out every single complaint he has, but he just decides to deal with it.

"i'm sorry, i'm being too difficult" he mutters, a wave of disappointment washing over him. "it's alright, i'll find another team that'll let me in".

if it's not too late…

"y/n, i—"

"it's okay, rae-yah" he says simply, smiling painfully as he stares at his best friend. "i understand, we can talk about this later, okay?"

taerae sighs, glancing around the room. "i'm sorry" he whispers.

"it's okay".

but it wasn't. of course it wasn't.

that conversation was in february, february. y/n watched two months go by and his relationship with his best friend has been deteriorating ever since they had that conversation about y/n getting kicked out of the back door team.

taerae's barely around anymore, he notices. now, when he sees y/n, instead of hugging him to death showering him with tons of affection, they just share awkward hi's and hello's.

it's not only him that notices, everyone else does too, especially their fellow wakeone friends.

"did you and taerae get into a fight or something?"

park hanbin has always been head on, he isn't afraid to bring up stuff he knows other people have been hiding.

"what? what do you mean by that?"

"are you serious y/n? you two could barely even leave each other alone for two seconds when you guys auditioned together, and now you guys barely acknowledge each other's existences anymore! it's shocking, that's what it is".

y/n stays silent, staring at his friend as if he's said something shocking, but his expression changes, gaze falling down to the floor as he realizes that hanbin is right.

"taerae doesn't need me anymore, he's made it extremely clear.."

"if i told past you that you said that in the future you'd probably have a heart attack".

y/n sighs. "hanbin, what is this even supposed to mean?"

"y/n, you know i love you, right?" he begins, y/n doesn't respond, biting his tongue. "taerae is your best friend in the whole entire world, it's not like you two to be on bad terms. i hate seeing the two of you upset, and it's so obvious that you wanna talk to each other, i know that it might take some time but you have to make up".

y/n takes in hanbin's words, processes them.

they have to make up.

y/n manages to catch taerae.

well— not catch per se, y/n can barely even spot him in the practice room full of eighteen other boys. taerae is too immersed in his conversation with junhyeon to even notice his presence.

y/n feels embarrassed, he turns around to walk away with his eyes closed. he's about to walk out of the door when a shout catches his attention.

"y/n, wait!"

he recognizes that voice, that voice, that voice that he loved listening to all the time, that voice which would whisper overly sweet compliments and comfort him whenever he felt he wasn't good enough.

"y/n, can we talk?" taerae asks. he isn't exactly casual about it, it's awkward between them now, something they never imagined happening.

"outside.." he clarifies, gesturing to all of the other people in the room, meaning that the conversation he wanted to have with him was probably pretty personal.

"sure- ah! okay!"

before y/n can even fully respond, taerae drags him by the hand outside of the practice room. he can't recall the last time taerae held his hand, at all, it's funny, really.

"okay, taerae, what is this about—"

"i'm sorry!" he immediately blurts, letting go of y/n's hand in embarrassment as he looks away with a red face.

"sorry for what?"

"for doing that to you" taerae mutters. "i excluded you, i made you feel horrible because i kicked you out of the team and i've been avoiding you like the plague, that makes me a bad friend and i can't stand myself for what i did to you!"

y/n is used to this.

he's used to having conversations like this with friends, all of his ex best friends who just couldn't stand when he finally put his foot down and stopped wanting to be used by them.

but taerae would never do that—

right?

"it's okay, taerae" he says. that's not what he wants to say, of course, but he couldn't think of any other response to that sentence. "i forgive you".

but it wasn't okay.

of course it wasn't okay.

what is y/n's problem? why can't just stand up for himself? why does he let people walk all over him as if he doesn't have a mouth which he can use to speak up for himself?

that conversation didn't turn out too well either,

because they had a fight only a few hours after that.

y/n realized after he let out all of his thoughts that he sounded a little selfish, much to his own horrible thoughts. he feels as if he did something horrible, despite all of his honesty.

and taerae simply seems so nonchalant about everything.

y/n wonders.

how did they go from being the best of friends attached at the hip to now barely being able to look at each other without it being awkward?

it scares him.

every other day, he feels himself getting even more hopeless, knowing he had messed up everything and that nothing would ever be normal between them again.

were they even friends anymore?

it's like taerae is haunting him. every other thing he can't help but think of taerae, kim fucking taerae, the one who would always stare at him with lovestruck eyes, the one who could resolve any problem they had, the one who knew each and every one of his fears, the one who he had to constantly deny his relationship with because they looked like they were utterly in love.

maybe he was.. maybe.

but it's not like it mattered anymore, did it now? they weren't friends or anything, they didn't fit that label anymore.

which is ironic to say, because it was assumed their friendship would've lasted the longest.

"that was dumb— your dumb!"

"i am not!" y/n whined, stomping his feet on the floor as he stared at his best friend. "i should be telling that to you, with your stupid glasses! you looked like an idiot!" he retorts, making taerae gasp and place a hand on his chest, directly where his heart was located.

"i did not look like an idiot!" taerae rolls his eyes. "you did, as always!" he says, and y/n mimics his previous gasp, appalled.

"i wouldn't be saying this if you didn't insult me first.." y/n mutters under his breath, yelping when he felt taerae push him.

"gosh couples! cut it out already you guys are annoying!" hanbin yells from across the room. "get a room or something!"

"were not a couple!" the two best friends shout in unison. they also seem to blush in unison, faces turning red and heating up at the comment. taerae scratches his arm, too flustered for his own good. y/n laughs, though his face is also red, he doesn't want to make it obvious.

"how do they even think were dating?" taerae starts, ironically as he reaches over for y/n's hand to look at the rings on his fingers.

"i don't know, we aren't even a couple, are we?"

taerae furrows his eyebrows, as if the question confused him. he stops staring down at y/n's rings, and looks back up at his face. his breath hitches when he realizes they're a little too close.

his eyes go wide and he freezes for a moment, but then he shakes off whatever thoughts he was having and smiles. "why are you asking that like the answer isn't obvious?"

"well i don't know what you think" y/n responds, clicking his tongue as he decides to intertwine their fingers. taerae felt the cold metal brush against his fingers for a moment, and he has this unknown feeling. "maybe you do think were a couple and i'm just oblivious to everything—"

"shut up, y/n" taerae scoffs. "no, were not a couple, even with how much you want us to be".

"me? you want us to be one, you can't resist me".

"don't let your ego suffer when you find out your being delusional".

"nope, you love me".

"that's a big word, don't say it again".

[billsfangearring]

Monthly Fandom Faves: January 2023 (HP Edition)

I miss reccing and want to get back into it this year, but without the pressure I put on myself when I adhere to specific themes or categories. I'm going to experiment with unthemed recs of a few things I loved each month instead as a way to keep this lowkey and fun for myself. I'll do separate posts for each fandom so they're more useful for the rest of you. I've got Wolfstar and Jily fics for you in this first one for HP :)

Fics reviewed below the cut, from longest to shortest:

Bird Set Free by @mollymarymarie

but tonight your hand is steady by @broomsticks

Posting this early because (1) my cat's first adoption anniversary is Tuesday and she deserves my full attention and (2) I have no chill.

Bird Set Free by MollyMaryMarie

(Remus/Sirius, E, 68k and counting)

Remus Lupin is a Welsh figure skater who hasn't quite been able to find his rhythm. Until world renowned Russian figure skater (and Remus' celebrity crush) Sirius Black shows up to coach him.

Imagine Yuri! On Ice, make it Wolfstar, and take away any need to appease television censors. That is this fic. (No previous YOI knowledge required.) Our resident queen of sexual tension has done it again. Maybe I'm biased because I had the honor to serve as Molly's technical beta for the figure skating specifics, but this fic is a romp from start to finish. Prepare yourself for some secondhand embarrassment, a need to scream at Remus Lupin for his obliviousness, and an overwhelming urge to give poor Sirius a hug when he's just out here trying his best to win over his crush. Pete is all of us with his complete exasperation with these two, and his snarky commentary is honestly my favorite part of the fic.

Pete held his hands up in surrender. “That’s the last I’ll say about it.” “Thank you,” Remus exhaled heavily. “Unless you need to gush about how hot he is.” “Oh, I absolutely will need to do that.” “But I will definitely not mention if he gushes about how hot you are.” “Well, he won’t, but if he does, then, okay, I mean, you should tell me about that.” Pete blinked at him. “There are a lot of rules here.”

but tonight your hand is steady by leftsidedown

(Lily Evans character study, T, 2k, implied major character death)

Five times Lily walked away and one time she stayed. Canon compliant.

Jackie wrote this way back in October and gifted it to me, and I only just left a real comment on it this month because I'm the worst. It made me so happy to revisit it again though, because it's a melancholy, nuanced portrayal of Lily and her experience coming of age as a Muggleborn—of being of two worlds but belonging in neither. Jackie has a gift for saying a lot with very few words, and this story exemplifies that. Each cleverly chosen vignette is a bruising portrait of the character I've sought out in fanfiction from the very beginning—more than 15 years ago—and it's such an honor that she thought of me when writing this little beauty for MCD fest.

She should have turned around to give them one last wave. Had they known that she hadn’t wanted to leave them behind—any of them? She just hadn’t known how to bring them along.

Thank you, darling! <3

--

All of my HP fic recs (detailed and brief) can be found here. I hope you find something you like!

[fragilecapric0rnn]

🌟 if i’m not too late for a directors commentary?

definitely not too late! since you left it up to me, i'll be talking about i wanna tell you and now's the time AKA the stobin fic based on this art!

This easily became one of my favorite fics that I've written, and I wrote it in two sittings. One sitting for the first draft and one sitting for rewrites/edits.

Since you have given me freedom to talk about whatever I want, I'm gonna pull 2 scenes/snippets to delve into hehe!

The first:

“I’m the one that broke his heart, of course I get it.” She had told Robin one morning in July. They were eating bagels on the balcony of Nancy’s studio, still in their pajamas (both in Nancy’s pajamas). Nancy’s feet propped up in Robin’s lap, both of them giggling every time their eyes met. Every part of herself that she thought didn't want a relationship had fallen to the wayside because this was the highlight of Robin's mornings. 

“We’ll go at your pace. I’m ready when you’re ready,” She said, folding herself nearly in half to stretch toward Robin, who met her halfway. The kiss was soft and gentle and Robin could feel her world spinning. Spending time with Nancy was the highlight of her life, and watching the oversized pajama shirt fall forward and reveal the dozens of hickies on her girlfriend's chest was like waking up on Christmas morning every morning.

OKAY SO this scene was just something that I wrote and then reread over and over again because HOLY FUCK?? THEM!!!! I kinda fell in love with the idea of Ronance as I was writing from Robin's POV. Like, I understood it and thought it was cute before, but once I started writing it I FINALLY GOT THE HYPE. I'm also just a lover of the casual intimacies of mundanity, the important conversations happening over bagels before work. The kisses and the feet in the lap and the softness. One of my favorite parts of this fic and it definitely made me want to write and read more of these 2 <333

The second:

“And you’re sleeping with Eddie!” She yells. 

“So what if I am!” He yells back. He can feel his face getting red, and watches hers turn red. 

“I'm glad you are! I’m very happy for you!” She yells, basically screams. 

“And I’m happy for you!” He screams back. 

“Why are we yelling?!” She’s in his face, hands in the air over her head. 

“I don’t know!” He yells. They stand there, face to face. Both breathing hard from all the yelling, he feels out of breath. He watches her breathing start to even out, and finds her eyes, filled with something wild and something scared and something loving. He lets out a chuckle. Her face softens. She lets a few giggles escape and he can’t help but do the same. 

Tied for my favorite scene in this fic is the closest these two will get to an argument. I picture the yelling to be a mix of angry and encouraging, their voices loud and passionate. Just a lot of feelings and anxieties that have been held in by both of them over the last six months that were finally being let out! I do think that Steve has mixed feelings about Nancy and Robin being together, and that they will eventually have a real and serious talk about both of their secret relationships in the coming weeks. But this, this just felt sooooo them. So Stobin.

fanfic writers: director's cut (still accepting!)

[imaginemogeko]

Mod Wadda is back briefly from the dead with help from an aesthetic-generating AI

[bl0ssomized]

╰┈➤ ❝ [ 𝐈 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒 ✉︎ ]

Prefect, it looks like you’ve received three Valentine’s messages from Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit and Lilia Vanrouge… Each of them have also left a gift on your doorstep.

“Herbivore,

So you herbivores in your world have a day dedicated to spending time with your lover? Stupid, shouldn't that just be every day? Well, Ruggie kept nagging me to send you something, but don't you think it's better to see each other in person? come to the savanaclaw dorm asap, I'm getting sleepy.

—Leona”

Gift description:

In front of you is a plain brown delivery box that has a few scratches here and there, the way the tape barely held it all together just screams "Leona did this". Inside however, you find a box of limited edition caramel chocolates. It's the ones that has been trending for a while, it's extremely hard to get your hands on one of these. Makes you wonder how much of a trouble it was (for Ruggie, poor him) to get them... Guess being rich makes everything easier huh.

You also find a cute little lion plushie! It seems like someone has drawn a scar on it's right eye. Perhaps it's Leona's way of reminding you he's the best one to cuddle with at night. Just make sure you don't replace the real Leona with this little guy, he might become jealous.

“Dearest,

I've heard from Rook that you celebrate something called "Valentine's Day" back in your world? From what I've heard it's a day to appreciate your loved ones and spend time with them right? It's a shame you haven't told me about it yourself. Have you forgotten what kind of a bond we share?

I don't like sappy words with no meaning, so I can assure you what I'm going to say now is how I genuinely feel. I must say I never expected myself to get this attached to you. You don't appear to be special at first glance, but you've proved your worth multiple times already. Every moment I spend with you is precious and I wish to cherish them for as long as I can. I also want to note that I'm sorry that we don't get to spend as much time together as you might want, I'm a celebrity after all and my schedule is quite packed as you might know already. I'll make sure to make up for the time I have kept you waiting someday.

Of course I've got many more things to say and do, but I prefer talking to you in person, so why won't you visit me in pomefiore? My door is open and I don't have anything else to do today so I'd love to spend this special day with you. .. I'll be waiting

Love,

Vil”

Gift description:

A rectangular violet box with white flower decorations and a deep purple ribbon that was tied into a neat bow. It's as elegant as anything else Vil does. Open it to find heart shaped macarons in all sorts of colors! There's red ones, pink, purple, purple with red spots, blue ones, they look as though Vil himself made these with how perfect they were. Did he..?

There's also a bottle of perfume. The purple color and diamond shape of the bottle are unfamiliar to you, but reading the note that was attached to it confirmed your suspicions.

“this perfume is one I developed especially for you. I thought it'd suit you well”

“To my dearest love,

How naughty you are to not tell me about the concept of 'Valentine's day', and here I was thinking you love me.. Alright alright, jokes aside, i wouldn't dream of letting this opportunity slip by just like that, so I'm here to remind you of something that should be obvious already;

I have seen many sorts of people in my life, but you truly are one of the few who manages to catch my eye like that. You're an interesting little one, there are tons of mysteries around you yet you act like you're nothing special.. What I thought to be simple curiosity grew to become something much stronger and more complicated, and I won't hesitate to admit that it's love. I love you, I really do. I love the way you squeak in surprise when you're startled, the way you pout after defeat, I love every single part of you and it makes me wonder since when exactly I was able to love like this. I'm really grateful for all the fun things I got to experience with you and I hope we'll continue to be by each other sides for many more years

Yours truly,

Lilia

P.S: I found a few more games we can play together. Please hop by diasomnia when you get the chance, I'd love to spend this special day with you”

Gift description:

Open a pitch black box with white and magenta spots on the bottom half to reveal a bunch of suspicious smelling chocolates. Don't tell me he made these himself... Well, if you're brave enough, try to pop one in your mouth, but there's no guarantee that you'll stay conscious. There's also 2 of his self made plushies, one shaped like a lamb and one shaped like a bat. Aww, doesn't it remind you of the two of you?

[uhh-materialgworl]

The baby project

Kalim × GN!Reader

Warnings: Babies, angst (with comfort) , one sided Jamil×Reader

Description: Crowley decides to let their school try "the baby project" but he uses "real" babies instead or dolls. How will Kalim react to having to let go of his son after only a week? (Not edited)

Author's note: I actually kind of cried while writing the end. I'm currently working on a part 2 for my Leona fic and once I'm done with that, as requested, I'll do a baby project fic for Epel. If I figure him out that is.

“I found out other schools do this and I, as the kind person I am, decided to let our school try it as well.” Crowley smiled.

“And that’s why we’re stuck like this now?”

“Yup!”

“Wow...thank you. I’m so happy. Anyways, come on Kalim. It’s time to go.” Y/n turned on their heels, done with Crowley’s shit.

“Oh- wait for me!” Kalim raced to catch up with y/n, making sure not to drop their baby. Once he was beside y/n, he looked down at their son. He couldn’t help but coo at how cute he looked. He was a perfect mix with y/n’s h/c hair and Kalim’s red eyes.

Y/n looked at Kalim and their baby. They couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Kalim staring at their baby, gaze filled with adoration, and the baby smiling at Kalim. Maybe this project wouldn’t be so bad.

-----

“Honey, what are you doing? You seem to be really invested in whatever you have on your lap.” Y/n whispered to not disturb the child they had in their arms. He was trying to sleep, however, with how often Kalim screamed, “This one!” or “Wait, I like this one better!”, the poor baby couldn’t close his eyes for more than a minute without being startled awake.

“Well...I can’t decide if we should buy a gold crib with red diamonds or a gold crib with all the colors of the rainbow. Or should we buy both? You know, one for my room and one for Ramshackle. Wait, never mind. You’re staying here, right? It wouldn’t be the first time you stay over, but the idea of my partner and my son right here with me...oh how I wish this wasn’t just a project. I wish we had our own real baby, not one that we’ll have to let go of after a week. Really, I-”

Y/n kissed him to stop him from rambling. “I love you; you know I do. But please, if you really love our son, will you bring it down a little bit? He’s trying to sleep. Actually, here,” They gave Yamil (what they named their baby boy) to Kalim, “He needs to eat something before going to sleep. Watch him for a few minutes while I make him a bottle, alright?”

“Alright! Count on me!” He grinned while holding up their baby, kind of like Rafiki held up Simba. Y/n smiled before leaving the room.

Kalim played around with their baby for a few minutes. It didn’t take long for him to get bored though. Y/n was taking too long, and he was tired of sitting. “You want to go for a walk, don’t you? You need to see the world. You’re still too young for me to fly you anywhere, but just wait till you’re old enough! I’ll take you wherever you want!” He grinned down at Yamil as he left the room.

----

“Omg! Is he your younger brother? He looks so cute~!”

“Aww, he’s so adorable!”

“He’s going to be spoiled rotten!”

“Kalim, what is the meaning of this!?”

Kalim looked in the crowd for whoever said the last sentence. He could feel the blood drain from his face as he realized it was none other than Jamil. “Kalim, where did you get this baby? Did you buy him? From whom?”

“Kalim, next time I tell you watch the baby, I mean STAY IN YOUR ROOM!” Y/n stormed down the hall, causing Kalim to flinch.

“A-Ah...Y/n... I was just on my way back. Yamil was getting fussy, and I thought that m-maybe he was getting bored too. Uhm, not that I was bored! I was just tired of sitting around and-”

“Wait, are you telling me that baby belongs to you and y/n?”

“Oh my, I knew he looked like Kalim and someone else I knew but I couldn’t quite place my finger on who. I can definitely see the resemblance now, though!”

“HUH!? Y/n, when the hell did you get/have a baby? And you didn’t think to tell your dear friends?!”

More confused and loud outbursts broke out around the small family. All the noise seemed to distress poor Yamil as he began to wail. This seemed to catch the attention of Jamil as he stood protectively in front of the family. He would interrogate them later, first he must do his job and protect not only Kalim but (as weird as it sounds) his son too. “I need everyone to back away, right now!”

Jamil waited until they were given space. “It’s your call, Kalim. Will you address the problem now or...?”

“Let’s just go back to my dorm. Clearly, Yamil would much rather be sleeping. I’m sorry...” Kalim handed Yamil over to y/n. “I didn’t think this would happen.”

“It’s fine. Let’s just go home. We still need to give Jamil an explanation.” They glanced down at Yamil after a terrible smell hit their nose. “And change Yamil’s diaper.”

----

“Alright, so let me get this straight. Thankfully, you didn’t buy a baby because you randomly wanted one, but Crowley gave you one. You’re supposed to take care of it for a week and it is for a grade. After a week he’ll disappear, and the problem will be solved?”

“Yeah...basically.” Kalim had a solemn tone, Jamil paid it no mind though.

“Alright, just a week. That’s fine.” Jamil silently left the room, not wanting to wake the sleeping infant (and anger Y/n once again).

“Honey, please don’t do that ever again. I almost had a heart attack when I couldn’t find Yamil anywhere. Haha, it may seem a little strange, but I’ve already gotten attached to Yamil. I don’t know how I’ll let him go in a-” They were interrupted by a sniffle. They looked up at Kalim, who had tears starting to gather in his eyes.

“Me neither. It’s only been a day, but I can no longer imagine a life without Yamil. It’s not as if we could ask Crowley to let us keep him because he’s not real, he’s only magic that will disappear in a few days. And there’s nothing we can do about it.” Y/n moved to where he was and hugged him as he cried. There was nothing they could do but comfort him. It was one of the rare moments in which Kalim felt utterly useless. It was the one thing his money could not buy, the life of his son.

“Shh, it’s alright. Let’s not think about that now, alright? We still have 6 days left with him. Let’s make the most of it, alright?” Y/n kissed him as they wiped the tears off his eyes. He let out a shaky sigh and nodded, “Alright.”

They stayed cuddled up together until Kalim fell asleep. Y/n was just starting to doze off when they suddenly heard a few sniffles coming from the baby blue crib near their bed. (They had convinced Kalim to not buy one made out of gold, but he still insisted on getting the best most expensive crib for his son. Just as they were about to suggest something cheaper, they noticed how happy he looked and decided to just let him be.)

They gently removed Kalim from their lap and made their way to Yamil. “Shh, it’s alright, your mommy/daddy/parent is here.” They picked up Yamil. “You know, your daddy was really worried about you. I know you’re not leaving us yet...but...I want you to know I love you.”

Yamil stared blankly at Y/n which caused them to chuckle. “Alright, I need to make you a bottle. However, if I leave you here, you’ll start crying and wake up your daddy.” They thought about what to do before making up their mind. “Hmm...let’s go pay Jamil a visit, alright?”

They made their way to the kitchen, which was most likely where Jamil was. They sped up when they heard Yamil starting to cry again. “Shh, it's alright baby, It’s alright. We’re already here, I just need to find-” They heard a cough. “Oh, never mind. He’s here. Sorry, Jamil. I didn’t notice you; I was just busy with...Yamil.” They gestured down to the baby in their arms.

Jamil nodded, “I can see that.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you could hold him for a few minutes while I make him a bottle? I would have left him in his crib, but he could have woken up his daddy and we can’t have that happening, right Yamil?” With their attention on Yamil, they didn’t notice how Jamil seemed to cringe when they called Kalim “daddy.” He still can’t believe that Kalim was officially (temporarily) a father.

“I knew this was bound to happen.” Jamil let out a sigh and held out his arms, “Hand over Kalim junior. I bet if he did live longer, he would be just like his da-…Kalim. Just like Kalim.”

Y/n let out a chuckle and gave Yamil to Jamil, then proceeded to make Yamil’s bottle. They looked back to see how Jamil was doing, only to see him inspecting Yamil. “He does indeed look like Kalim...he has his eyes, his nose. His skin...well it seems like a mix. And his hair...he has your hair color. If he did have the possibility to grow up and live, I believe he would be as kind and energetic as his father is. However, I think he would be more like you in the sense that you think about what the consequences of your every action could be. You always put yourself before others, something Kalim doesn’t do often. You’re caring, that’s what I like about you. I can see why Kalim loves you so dearly.”

“Aww~” This seemed to startle Jamil out of whatever he was in. “Is that what you think about me? I knew that deep down, you actually cared!”

Y/n held up the bottle. “Would you like to feed him?” Jamil’s eyes widened slightly before shrugging. ‘Whatever.” He sat down and took the bottle from Y/n.

Y/n started washing the dishes. It was already 8PM and Kalim hadn’t ate yet so they decided to get started on dinner. “Fun fact, Kalim already had a name planned for our future children. He wanted to use one of those names and name our baby Yalim. However, even through my anger (towards Crowley, of course) I managed to tell him what I wanted to name our baby. Yamil, after the secretly sweet man that protected my boyfriend his whole life. If it weren’t for you, he probably wouldn’t be here. Obviously, we had to change it up a little and so we changed the J for a Y.” They started chopping some carrots. “Hehe, you’re not upset, right? Though I love Kalim, I low-key hope our future kids are a little more on the quiet side, like you.”

There was no response from Jamil, so they turned around to see if they had made him upset. He showed no emotion on his face, he just stared blankly at Yamil. He seemed to notice them staring and let out a sigh. “Yamil fell asleep. What would you like me to do?”

“Hmm...could you take him to his crib? I’ll sit down in the meantime. I swear I won’t touch the food until you are back.” They promised. Jamil nodded and headed up to where Kalim was resting.

Just as Jamil was covering up Yamil, he heard some noise behind him. Kalim let out a yawn and stretched. “Where’s Y/n? I could have *yawn* swore they were here.”

“They were getting started on dinner. They had to stop while I came here to...check on Yamil.” Jamil answered. Kalim nodded and sat up, “Alright, makes sense. I’ll handle it now! But...uh he seems to be sleeping. I guess I’ll just stay here until Y/n’s done.”

Jamil nodded and went back to the kitchen, where Y/n seemed to be sitting impatiently. “Kalim just woke up. I told him you were making dinner. If you don’t mind, I’ll go ahead and do my homework as you cook.” He offered. Y/n took notice of how, like always, he seemed to wait for permission. “Do whatever you want, just pass me the pan beside you.”

------

“Ah, I’m so full! Is this what Yamil felt like when I gave him too much milk? Talking about Yamil, we should go with him now. He’s probably getting lonely.”

“Alright, see you later Jamil!” Y/n followed after Kalim and let out a sigh of relief. They were so thankful that Jamil hadn’t told Kalim that Yamil had woken up earlier. Kalim would have been upset that Y/n hadn’t woken him up too. Still, he looked so peaceful, they couldn’t wake him up.

“When we get married, I want a big family! Oh, could we name our first real child Yamil in memory of, well, Yamil? Actually, maybe I shouldn’t say things like that around Yamil.” He walked to his son’s crib and hummed. “Hm, may I take him with me to class tomorrow? I’ll be careful, I promise!”

“Well...I’m not sure...”

“Please! Let me spend some extra time with him before he...disappears.” Kalim pleaded.

Y/n let out a sigh a nodded. “Fine, but make sure Jamil is there at all times. If anything were to happen, it’d be best for him to cover for you while you run. Also, if anything, and I mean anything happens, you come find me, alright?”

Kalim nodded excitedly and started looking through Yamil’s clothes. Y/n stared at him before smiling fondly.

-----

The days passed and though both Kalim and Y/n were dreading it, it was the day that Yamil would disappear.

Kalim begged and begged Crowley, but there was nothing he could do. He tried everything, but there was absolutely nothing he could do. Hours passed and despite wanting to do nothing but curl up in a ball and cry, he had to stay strong and enjoy the last 30 minutes he had with his son.

“Hey champ, I-I just wanted to tell you that I really love you. God, this is so difficult. How I wish we didn’t have to let you go. I just hope that you’re happy wherever you go. I promise we will meet again in a few years. We will meet again, and I swear I will give you the best life possible.”

Kalim spent those last 30 minutes holding and playing with his son. He shed a few tears, but he wanted his son to remember and see nothing but his father smiling in his final moments.

At last, the time arrived, and the small family gathered where it all began. They watched, helplessly, as their son turned into dust and faded into the wind. Kalim seemed to not be able to hold it in any longer and collapsed on his bed. Y/n tried to comfort him, but they couldn’t really do that if they themselves were crying as well. Eventually they gave up and just grieved the loss of their son together. They had no energy to attend their classes, so they just stayed home for the rest of the day.

Jamil got worried when he couldn’t find Kalim anywhere and so he went to check on them. Upon realizing what was going on, he decided to let them be and inform Crowley of the situation. For once, Crowley seemed to understand and just let them be.

The weeks passed and though they never truly got rid of the pain of losing their son, they slowly started to act more like they did before.

However, there were times when you could see Kalim still suffering, which caused him to act unlike himself. There was one time when Kalim almost got in a fight with some students that also had to do the project and claimed they were glad the “spawns from hell” were finally gone. There had been other incidents like this. Thankfully, both Jamil and Y/n were there to stop him.

The couple would never forget their dear son Yamil, even years later when they started a family of their own, they would talk to their kids about their dear older brother Yamil.

[thedarkplume]

Hey, guys I hope everyone's day is going spectacular! As you all know, today is Chris Evans 40th birthday!! I wanted to do something special for such a special day. Thus, I have compiled a list of my absolute favorite stories written for Chris Evans's characters.

Be advised, however, some of these are dubious consent, non-con, daddy kink, spitting, squirting, oral m/f receiving, creampie, anal, and all other manner of kinks I did not realize I enjoyed until joining the site.

It took me a very long time to compile this list and I may have to do some for Sebastian Stan later since some people want to cancel him. But we're not going to talk about that right now.

Here is a list of some of my absolute favorite Chris Evans stories in no particular order.

Golden Boy (Dark!Steve Rogers) - @angrythingstarlight

What sets this one apart from the rest of her stories, is that there's a deep resentment from Steve to Bucky in the very beginning of their friendship.

What The King Has (Soft!Dark Steve Rogers) - @sincerelythedarkside

I just read this one this morning. This was sooo good guys!

Hidden Solace (Andy Barber) - @ozarkthedog

This was difficult. I kept thinking I'd pick Reparations or Cock Worship, but Andy being a little touch starved did it for me.

Burning Desire (Andy, Steve & Ransom as Triplets) - @sinner-as-saint

She really gives you the best of 3 worlds here!

Ticking Clock (Dark!Andy Barber) - @syntheticavenger

Another tough choice. Synth comes straight for your heart and vagina, and you'll love her for it!

Stealth (Steve Rogers) - @afriendlyblackhottie

I may have bitten off more than I can chew, guys! It's so hard picking just one because there's nothing she's written that I can say is not one of my favorites. I'm telling you, get some wine or your favorite drink (alcoholic or not), put your feet up, and enjoy this lovely lady's artistry!

Back Rooms (punk!Me from Playing It Cool) - @fineanddandy

Not only did she use the fabulous @nix-akimbo edit for this one, but she makes you question if loyalty to a friend is worth walking away from a guy that genuinely wants you.

A Different Kind of Love (Alpha!Andy & Beta!Jake) - @river-soul

Can you imagine having both Jake and Andy in an A/B/O world? Read this story and you won't have to imagine!

Wear Me Down (Ari Levinson) - @navybrat817

Her fight is commendable, but you can't fight fate!

The Valentine's Cock Up (Steve Rogers) - @drabblewithfrannybarnes

God, this makes me laugh just thinking about it!

Original Sin (Dark!Bryce Langley) - @stargazingfangirl18

This had to be my hardest pick yet. What can I say about this ridiculously talented author? She made me lust over Robert Pronge which I promise was not an easy feat. I went kicking and screaming, but I'm here. Honorable Mention to her latest series Necessary Arrangements & Devil's Advocate.

Good Little Wife (Soft!Dark!Mob!Andy Barber) - @donutloverxo

All of her stories have a sort of soft and gentle reader that the men trip over themselves to take care of. I love it!

Goodbye Again (Endgame!Steve Rogers & Avengers!Steve Rogers) - @sweetlyscared

I can go on all day about how much I love this story! The emotions, the love, the loss, gah!!! I'll never not reblog this story.

Snowed In (Ransom Drysdale) - @the-iceni-bitch

Another author who has me lusting over Robert Pronge! I love her Ransom stories, beginning with Snowed In, because while he's still an ass, his girl gives it back just as easily.

Renewing Vows (Dark!Steve Rogers) - @gotnofucks

Dibs is one of my favorite authors. She's one of the few authors on this site that when you read her stories, especially the dark ones, you feel the obsession and single-minded desire to possess you no matter the circumstances. I love how she incorporates her culture in some of her stories as well, particularly the Happily Ever After series. You know it's wrong, but seeing the Avengers in their desi apparel still makes me go, "aww! They really want to make her feel welcomed!" P.S. I really, really came close to choosing Murder at the Whorehouse!

Dark Assassin (Dark!Silverfox!Steve Rogers) - @kleohoneyao3

It took me forever to find this story again. I've always been attracted to older men, but Silverfox!Steve is the goat! My second favorite is Of the Earth.

Little Red series (Steve/Curtis/Andy/Ransom/Johnny) - @autumnrose40

This proud Omega always gives you the best C. Evans characters stories. And she's not afraid to push boundaries with different species(werewolves, mermen, octogods, etc). I'm always so happy to see she's posted something.

Creamsicle (Robert Pronge & Dark!Andy Barber) - @sapphirescrolls

I don't think I need to list Robert as dark, do I??? While she has a cornucopia of dark writings, this is my favorite!

I Have Questions (Steve Rogers) - @royallyprincesslilly

Accidentally dirty-talking Steve Rogers? Hell yeah!

Unhappily Married (Dark!Steve Rogers) - @cherienymphe

This is a wonderfully talented dark writer. I almost chose Twice Bitten several times because (1) she writes vampires the way they're meant to be written, and (2) Steve is so unapologetically hot and cold with the reader it makes me weep. But I do love kids (set in fiction only) and poor Nathan needs a real mother!

Hirsute (Werewolf!Andy Barber) - @avintagekiss24

Whew! This was tough. I literally love all her stories, particularly Blue Ocean Floor and her latest, 'with the weight of the world at the tips of my fingers.' There's a sleek elegance to her writing that is unmatched.

Let Me Teach You (Jake Jensen) - @vannybarber

Jake Jensen does not get enough love. Luckily, he's starting to come up. This writer gives him all the love and appreciation he deserves with this story.

Tell Me You Love Me (Steve Rogers) - @lotusss-flowerbomb

We all have pasts, but if you're going to let your co-workers get drunk around your girl, give her a heads up that you may or may not have hooked up with the gorgeous red-haired spy. Loved this so much!!

Mr. and Mrs. Ari Levinson Invite You to...the Worst Wedding. Ever. (Mob!Ari Levinson) - @caffiend-queen

I've never seen Ari written like this. He's wild and crazy and utterly addicted to his new little wife.

I loved everything about this wedding, especially the author letting us see the different Jewish wedding traditions. If you didn't love Ari before this story, you will after this story!

This was fun you guys! And it gives me a point of reference in case I once again lose some of the stories listed here.

As an added bonus, here are some of my favorite @nix-akimbo edits:

[corgiplays]

Murder Wives Ronance edition?

Robin being under the influence of Vecna and leading Nancy into a false sense of security so she falls under Vecna's influence and they become "evil" it actually more like Vecna brings their dark desires to the forefront of their personality while also planting some of his own twisted past times in their brains

Time line wise

-Trying to escape the Upside Down Robin decided to go ahead of Steve and Nancy in trying to get to Max (she's their child so)

-Vecna who's not dead sees this as an opportunity and attacks Robin, a very short fight later Vecna is gripping Robin's head up and doing the Teen Wolf claws in the back of the neck move which lets him place memories that aren't real and twists a few memories

-Steve finds Robin's beret on the ground and freaks out finding her a few feet away bloody and leaning against a tree, Nancy hears Steve screaming and doesn't know how to function when she sees Robin

-Steve carry's Robin out of the Upside Down before the gates split open (for the stake of the party I'm keeping Eddie alive and Max isn't in a coma)

-Dustin is in tears seeing Robin bloodied and unconscious in Steve's arms and has Eddie help him walk because Nancy has been in a state of shell shock since finding Robin

-Instead of 2 days it's more like 5 days after until Robin wakes up but it's like a switch flipped inside her, she's quite, aggressive, more sarcastic, rude, think flayed Billy but more calculated (she shoves Steve into a walk hard enough to crack the brick from the force)

-The AU where Robin does knife tricks to stim is very canon same thing with secretly buff Robin

-Robin has a vision like Billy had where he slammed Karen's head into the shelves but it's Robin taking a scalpel and killing doctors, nurses, families her friends everyone.

-Robin still acts like Robin though, she just has times were she doesn't act like herself (her personality doesn't change it's more she has a sadistic side to herself like an alter ego and the longer she has it the more the personality's blend that the party can't tell between the alter and Robin)

-Vecna attacks the group 4 weeks after Robin wakes up (the Upside Down has been bleeding into the normal world since the split but this was a focused attack)

-Robin and Nancy get split up from the group and this is when Robin hits Nancy over the head with a rock, Robin also licks Nancy's blood off of the rock (this will be explicit if the murder didn't cue you in, these two are some sadistic and masochist people which also means questionable kinks and smut, I won't go into detail but you can imagine. There also switches so everyone can be happy) Robin's all sadistic smirk and "I'm sorry princess, but you're too valuable for you to be against us. I wouldn't want you falling into Steve or Jonathan's arms while I'm away now would I?"

-Jealous and possessive Robin and Nancy?? Nancy killing Vickie after she's too flirty to Robin during an infiltration mission?? Robin beating up a guy after he gets handsy with Nancy?? Agressive make outs??? Wall pining??? Knife up to throat while kissing??? HOT AND COLD PLAY??? WAX??? okay I'll stop here but you get the idea

-Vecna also isn't very family friendly so there is torture, eating disorder, starvation, dissociation, questioning one's sanity, self harm, attempting suicide, night terrors and sexual assault

-Although Nancy and Robin are murdering and infiltrating government operations as their alters they are aware of everything and they are themselves whenever their not working for Vecna. So all the night terrors are delt with calm words and soft touches, any wounds are carefully cleaned and properly treated, reassuring touches, forehead kisses and just resting foreheads together, cuddles and just holding each other while they break apart and sure they like the pain, it makes sure that they are themselves (their alters have the feeling of pain shut off but it comes back once they are in control)

-Once Vecna is defeated and the fights with the party and the murder wives are finally over Robin and Nancy get so much therapy like their in their for 3 years minimum, the party forgives them seeing as the weren't in control of themselves and it's tearful and so soft

-The get a therapy dog for their PTSD and depression seeing as those two are the worst of their illnesses.

That's like the very very basic story outline

PS I was listening to Phonk music while writing this because their was traffic while I was on the bus back home so I would recommend listening to some while reading

[hardestgrove]

A prompt request in case it inspires you. Loving your Btvs/ST stuff and now I can't stop thinking. Mungrove with Vampire Slayer Billy (or The Slayer Billy) and vampire Eddie

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [HEAVY METAL SCREAM] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

rating: G/PG warnings: none really lotta swearing tho words: 2,404 pairing: Billy Hargrove x Eddie Munson

no Ao3 link atm bc i'm lazy and this is just SO bespoke. i genuinely don't know what i wanna do with all the stranger things/buffy the vampire slayer crossover stuff in my head djksdfgdfs. i'll make a post for the ao3 link if i ever make one.

NOTE: this is a TRANSGIRL!BILLY EXPERIENCE! slayer lore is a "girls only" thing which, when you expand that past late 90s mainstream acceptable progressivism i've always interrupted as people who have a female spirit/vibe/essence/whatever the fuck. basically not bio-femaleness but idk like gender vibes. (i'll also say i'm nonbinary myself and the blood i sweat over this gordian knot is ridiculous and this is what i have thus far so we're running with it)

it's also my first time writing a transwoman character so i hope i did right by the girlies. lemme know if anything should be edited!

Billie should’ve slayed Eddie years ago. He was basically the one smudge on her otherwise perfect slayer record. She couldn’t find it in her to do it thought no matter how much she tried. Sure they’d gone at each other a few times, a murder attempt here or there from either side but honestly none of it was all that serious. Their fights always seemed to fall apart though by the end so at this point they just didn’t bother with it really.

If she was being honest there was more to it then just that. For a dead guy Eddie was full of life, bright and charming and just so excited about things. Billie spend so much of her life hunting things down, being hunted, beating the shit out of things, getting the shit kicked out of her, killing things and trying not to get killed back herself. It was dark and lonely most of the time, even if she’d never trade it back for her old life it didn’t mean she didn’t wish she had more in her life than death. And while she’d never admit it to a soul, Eddie made her feel alive.

The majority of vampires seemed stuck in time but while Eddie’s style hadn’t changed much since the 70s, he was different. He was handsome with big brow doe eyes, lean bodied with a wavy brown shag he hadn’t changed in like, 20 years, but still looked really good on him. But he was dynamic in a way the others weren’t. His look wasn’t stagnation, it was preference. Billie had always liked how his hands where bigger than hers, even if it was just by a little. He’d somehow talked her into letting him give her some guitar lessons (yes dumb idea vampire near neck, she knew this. We’ve already established the Eddie weak spot here though) and she couldn’t stop coming back to how long and pretty his hands were, how they covered hers nicely when he helped her work out all the strings and movements.

Eddie had a band — of course — and it was a actually pretty good. It was kind of a shame Eddie’d been turned, he was really talented, if he’d lived he could’ve really gotten famous. Now that he was a vampire though he was pretty much regulated to the small stages only, though he was actually pretty big on the supernatural music scene. Much to her chagrin Billie was starting to feel like a groupie. She tried to catch as many of his shows as she could for years now. And yes, okay — she was a little starstruck. Eddie had seen all her favorite bands in concert when they were making some of her favorite albums, he’d jammed with Metallica when they were hot off Kill ‘Em All. They liked all the same music and Billie lived for music. Eddie was, frankly, kind of a real rockstar in the demon world, like their best kept secret from the humans when it came to rock. Watching Eddie play was electrifying. He was gorgeous and powerful on stage, totally in his element. She didn’t get why he was still hanging out on the Hellmouth, LA was only two hours away, he’d do so much better there.

They were doing a cover of “Am I Evil” by Diamond Head and Eddie was practically crooning it at her where she sat at the bar. She blushed in spite of herself. He was such a little shit, always pulling shit like this with her. She stayed in her seat and she didn’t look away however, that’d be admitting he’d won which was so never going to happen. She stayed their whole set and left when they packed up to go do her patrols. Just like always. And just like always somehow Eddie found her no matter where she was.

She was in Restfield Cemetery doing a clean up of any newly risen vampires when he sauntered out from behind a mausoleum his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket grinning his stupid adorable grin.

“Hey baby. How’s the day in the office so far?”

Billie rolled her eyes. “Slow and boring. It’s been nothing but fledges so far and not even a lot of them.”

“Well hey, I’m here now. Can’t do much about the lack of villainous lambs to slaughter but I can fix the boredom part.”

Billie rolled her eyes. “Right so I can be annoyed and not get anything done all at the same time.”

“Oh baby, don’t be like that.” He cooed, coming to place his hands on Billie’s hips. She was only a little taller than Eddie in her heels. “C’mon. What can I do to turn my best girl’s frown upside down huh?”

Billie blushed again and looked down, the hand not holding her stake fiddling with his beat up leather jacket. Her heart always skipped a beat when he called her things like “baby” and “best girl” and they both knew it.

“Nothing. I just wanna finish my stupid fucking patrol report back that there’s nothing going on in this shithole town and go bed.”

“Nah not buying it. I think I know what’ll make my babygirl smile again.” His breath was cool against her cheek as he nuzzled her. “How about a private concert huh? We finish up staking my distant relatives or whatever, head back to your place and I play some of your faves. I’ll take requests and everything.”

Fuck, he really had her now. Eddie was always buttering her up but he was really laying it on thick to night. He probably wanted something then and knowing her, she’d probably end up giving it to him if it wasn’t totally insane.

She nodded and Eddie grinned even wider against her cheek before kissing the corner of her mouth sweetly.

“There’s my girl, so sweet for me. Now lemme see how ya tear em apart huh?”

Patrolling with Eddie was always more fun than patrolling alone. They flowed well together in a fight and when there was nothing to do he was a great conversation partner. They always walked together so close their arms would brush as they went. Some nights Eddie would catch her hand and hold it, winking at her every time he did. She let him, because she was a weak bitch who lost her shit over holding hands with her vampire crush who she should be staking. With Eddie there the boring drag of patrol just flew by and they were heading back to her’s for the night in no time.

They still called it her place but Eddie had an invite and somehow over the few years they’d been getting closer all of his things had ended up in her apartment. They slept in the same fucking bed now for fucks sake. Somehow Eddie had weaved himself into her life so completely she couldn’t pull the edges apart anymore. She knew the Council wouldn’t approve if she was still living under their thumb, Hopper barely tolerated it as it was. Sure, she was the Slayer but she was a 20 year old girl too. A girl who wanted a life, and to love and be loved. She was still scared to admit it out loud, afraid if she did he’d vanish like everything else that’d been good her life, but she loved Eddie. She loved him so much. And the things he did and said— it was getting harder to convince herself that he didn’t feel the same. Not when he proved it every day.

So what if he was a vampire. Was it so wrong for her to want this? Was there ever going to be a normal guy who could even understand, let alone keep up, with her? Why should she hold out on the off chance that guy did exist somewhere in the world when she had this loving man right here, now?

Ever the gentleman Eddie opened the door for her, his hand resting on her lower back as he ushered her inside. They both went to the kitchen where Billie pulled out leftovers for her and a blood bag for Eddie while he got a mug out for microwaving his blood. They waited around together for their food to be warmed up, Eddie wrapping her in his arms and swaying them as he hummed. Dinner was always a pretty lazy affair and they scarfed their food down at the counter before unceremoniously dumping their dishes in the sink to be tomorrow’s problem. Finally they both got ready for bed, Billie getting out of her very cute halter and into a soft pink pajama set and Eddie stripped down to his boxers. He laid his warlock down next to her on the bed but before he set it up for their private concert he maneuvered her to the edge of the bed and knelt between her legs.

His hands were cool on her thighs has he rubbed little circles with his thumbs into her skin.

“Baby there’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you for a while now.”

Fear gripped her immediately, the self doubt she still couldn’t shake rearing its ugly head. Did he want to break up? Did he want something she couldn’t give? To do something she couldn’t do? Had this all been a lie to get her so blind and stupid she’d help him do something awful?

Eddie kept rubbing in those little circles, his eyes were warm and gentle. Full of love. She took the leap and went with trusting him.

She licked her lips, her voice only cracked a little. “Yeah Eds?”

“Move to LA with me.”

She stared at him stunned for a long moment, totally thrown for a loop. Never in her life would she have thought this is what he’d want to talk about. Slowly she collected herself.

“But, Eddie I can’t leave the Hellmouth. It’s my job.”

“There’s the new girl here now and she’s been doing great. You’re not chained here and it’s LA, we’re only 2 hours away. If they need us we can be there in no time.”

Jane was doing well, especially with the help of her little gaggle of loser friends and Hopper keeping an eye on her. But she was only 15, she was a kid. How could Billie leave this whole place to a kid? A voice in her head pointed out she’d been about that age when she’d become the Slayer and she’d been basically totally solo through most of her tenure here. Jane had a group of friends to help and a Watcher who took good care of her. She was infinitely better off than Billie had been at that age.

Still she couldn’t just leave.

“I can’t just leave it all on her, it’s my sacred duty or whatever to—“

“Baby,” He broke in, his voice and expression sterner than she’d ever seen. “You’ve already died once. “

Automatically her hand came to the scar on her chest and she rubbed it absently. They only had Jane because Billie had died. There was only ever one Slayer, as like, a semi-reincarnated chosen one thing. One died and the next was called. But Billie had been revived in the hospital so now there were two.

Eddie continued. “I’m not saying you stop slaying. I don’t think you can ever really stop being a Slayer just like I can’t stop being a vampire. But I don’t wanna see an encore of that shit. Ever. Once was enough. I’m not gonna let you get stuck living a small life in a small town because of some ancient prophecy shit anymore just so that prophecy shit can snuff you out before you got a chance to live. You deserve more. Sunnydale was only ever supposed to be a pitstop for the band but I convinced the guys to stay because I loved you the moment I saw you and I wasn’t leaving here without you. The guys are starting to really chafe now, the music scene here is only half decent cause it’s a Hellmouth and 2 hours down to LA for club gigs is getting to be a pain in the ass. They wanna move to where the action is and I think it’s time for all of us— you included— to make the leap. I held off on talking about this until we could make sure that Jane’ll be alright so you could leave with a clean conscience and she’s gonna be as fine as any Slayer can be. Baby, I love you. It’s okay to move on with your life. You’re a grown woman and you deserve to be somewhere with more opportunities for your future. Steve’s already down there and you always talk about how you miss him. Wouldn’t you rather be living closer to your best friend then stuck hanging around with teeny boppers?”

Billie’s eyes were hot with unspent tears. He was right. She missed Steve. He’d been her only friend since she’d blown into Sunnydale and he’d moved down to LA to get work and try to get into culinary school after graduation and his parents losing everything because of tax evasion. She loved Eddie but she still felt lonely without her best friend. And she did want to do more with her life, even if it was just party and be somewhere that couldn’t be easily walked in a few hours again. She missed living in a real city like San Diego. She hated the idea she’d been holding Eddie back but she also couldn’t stop crying because she was so happy he’d stayed. No one ever stayed. But Eddie’d taken one look at her and dropped everything just so he could be with her. God he was too good for her.

Still crying she nodded, trying to smile. God she was glad he’d waited until she’d taken her makeup off.

“Okay Eddie. You’re right, let’s move.”

Eddie beamed and kissed her, wrapping an arm around her waist and helping her to dry her tears with the other.

“Love you baby.”

For once, she felt brave. “ I love you too Eddie.”

If it was possible he beamed even harder and kissed her again soundly before setting up with the warlock bedside her on the bed.

“Okay! We’re celebrating! Any requests from my lady love?”

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[cakesexuality]

Would you want to live forever? How about for a billion years, a million, a millennium, a century? What ridiculously time consuming hobbies would you master with all the leisure time that kind of lifespan would allow? How did you become immortal? Do you try to hide it?

Apologies for taking so long to answer this!! I wanted to take time to think about it but I still don't know if I can fully answer this

I'll start with: "How did you become immortal?" I keep thinking about this one and don't know the actual answer!! All I can think of are just the various ways to become immortal. It could be a vampire situation in which I don't age. It could be a Doctor Who situation in which I do age, but get to start over in a new body every couple of centuries, and how old I appear to be varies with each reset (think of Matt Smith regenerating into Peter Capaldi who, in turn, regenerates into Jodie Whittaker). It could be an Ellimist from Animorphs situation where some sci-fi nonsense occurs and I absorb countless other beings after my civilization gets nuked for having Twitch and I live for so long that I stop having a true sense of time and am so powerful that I can't even directly fight someone who's as powerful as I am or else the universe will get fucked up. It could be an I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream situation where my body has been horrifically modified against my will in order to punish me for humanity's wrongdoings. (Obviously the last option is the least ideal, but it's still out there as a possibility.) Edit: It could also be an In The Flesh/partially deceased syndrome situation where I'm not technically immortal, since I can still be taken out like a Resident Evil zombie and I can also "warm up" which would return me to my prior physical state, but I am still able to not die as long as my brain is intact and it also means that I don't have certain needs like eating... although the trade-off is the need to take neurotryptilin every day, which would get kinda annoying considering where it gets injected in combination with how independent I often am with my real-life medical stuff and also would get stressful considering that I don't stick to an exact schedule with my real-life medications, and another trade-off is that I first have to die and rise as a zombie and terrorize a small town and go to the treatment centre and be one of the lucky ones to respond to the drug and bla bla bla...

Would I want to live forever? In a realistic world (although, how realistic can we get if we're talking about fantasy and sci-fi?) probably not, because how I pretty much cope with the knowledge that my EDS will get worse is "just don't think about it" since it will inevitably get worse and I don't even know how things will be if I'm 50 years old, let alone, like, 300 years old. But in an ideal situation where the state of my EDS is frozen so that it never gets any worse than it currently is at 26 (this would probably happen in the vampire situation I suggested, or edit: it wouldn't even matter, at least for a little while, in the PDS situation since people with PDS have impaired ability to sense pain from being, you know, dead) or where EDS isn't even in the picture, then maybe!! Or perhaps not live forever, just live a few extra centuries

What would I do to pass the time? If whatever situation happened that caused me to be immortal also meant that I had no standard physical human needs to look after, such as eating or sleeping?? Let the ADHD and autism take over. I'll shut myself in my sewing room for literal days on end. I'll stay up doing non-stop gaming marathons of back-to-back entries of entire game series (serieses?) where I drink coffee and yell at Nathan Drake for significantly longer than Naughty Dog (or God) intended. Just doing all my normal hobbies, but doing them continuously for unnatural chunks of time without being interrupted. I'm sure I'll end up making more things than I know what to do with, since I already have this problem in real life from knitting too many hats and only being able to hand off, like, a quarter of them to other people.

[mocacheezy]

Things that made watching Transformers (2007) easier and even enjoyable:

[note: B'verse gets the treatment that it gets by fandom for good reasons. There are tons of posts that dissect the bullshit of these movies far better than my second-language-english-non-american self could ever tackle, so I am not doing that, or plan on doing that. But if I decide that I'll get through every continuity of the franchise I will find a way to make it fun for myself. And so, this is my search for golden nuggets in these movies, because they did bring in new fans to the franchise and that's why we have other continuities that we might not have otherwise. Credit where it's due, and some positivity for those that did find B'verse at least amusing if nothing else. ]

🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪🥄🔪🍴🥄🔪

Frenzy

Anytime Frenzy was on screen made me smile because his movements and personality were hilarious, he is just so expressive despite looking like someone super glued a bunch of knifes together. I wouldn't know it was Frenzy if I didn't go to the Wiki, but no matter that, he was funny and that's what matters.

The original Cybertronian robot modes

We don't see them for long, but the glimpses were glorious. Just look at Optimus

Gorgeous. What I wouldn't give to see the details up close. Maybe I'll go looking eventually, but this is just so nice.

We also get a "sexily rises from the pool" scene with Ironhide (probably unintentional and I am biased due to being a robofucker. In any case, very very nice and Cybertronians look so good as aliens)

"Excuse me, are you the Tooth Fairy?"

You see this kid?

This little girl was the only human I cared about in the movie until I saw just how badass Mikaela is, and how cool the military dude is. I don't like kids, but I would lay down my life for this girl.

This one scene just makes me think of what would happen if her parents showed up way earlier. Ironhide would be her guardian and it would be both adorable and hilarious because "Honey, you have to drive in a sentient alien that looks just like our car because the goverment men said so or there will be consequences and potential alien threats."

There are so many joke potentials there; the cultural barrier, the "I am the ine that is supposed to keep her safe" glaring contests, there is just so much shenanigans that could happen.

Also, tea party with the kid. Tea party with the kid.

Sam Witwicky actually reacts like an average human would when faced with the situations he finds himself in

Do I like Sam Witwicky? No, he is the kind of character that I would want to punch irl because of his personality and actions. He is disgusting. But watching him scamper and scream and stutter when faced with giant metal robot aliens that can squish him like a bug? Good, that was a beliavable reaction and I enjoyed it a great deal.

Megatron. Just, ✨Megatron✨

(the best screenshot of the few I could take while watching, no, I am not going back for a better one, he looks perfect like this)

I also laughted at how they kept him frozen like a popsicle. And not even well, like, they COULD'VE made an actual freezer and pop him in instead of using those couple of tubes just so he was displayed for all personell to gawk at. HE CRASHED IN THE ANTARCTIC!

The design looks so good, because it looks ALIEN and POINTY and AGH!!! The colors? There are no colors that would make him stand out, he looks like someone opened a cutlery drawer, mixed up what's inside, threw in some extra knifes for a good measure and then shook the whole thing until this guy materialized from the pile. It is both incredibly annoying and satisfying.

🔪

Mr. Welker did an amazing job with his voice, I don't know what the directions were, but oh man it sure sent shivers down my spine. That is the kind of voice that spells "You are going to die" and I already have my coffin picked out.

EDIT: SO APPARENTLY! IT WAS NOT WELKER THAT VOICED MEGATRON.

It was Hugo Weaving, and yes the man did am amazing job, but I apologize a million times, I was CERTAIN that THE OG VA OF MEGATRON WOULD ALSO HAVE VOICED MEGATRON. LIKE, OKAY BAY, OKAY!

🔪

LOOK AT THE AMOUNT OF ICE! With how quick he came back fully online once Frenzy turned off the freeze liquid tubes, I bet he was half awake through the whole thing. Systems just below idling or something, in any case, AGENTS YOU ARE SO DUMB! WHO WAS GIVING SUBPAR FUNDING TO THEM, THEY BETTER BE FIRED!

I also was glad that Sam refused to call him by the name the sector asigned to him, despite Megatron being in stasis. And that he insisted they use the correct name. Good job Sam, acknowledge the threat by the actual name and show respect to a fellow sentient lifeform. Even though said lifeform is hellbent on destruction of the universe and your world.

ALSO, AND I CANNOT STRESS THE LAUGHTER AND AMUSEMENT HERE; the sheer DISRESPECT! They don't disassemble Megatron's corpse. No, these idiots, these absolute morons decide to dump him into the ocean, letting him sink to the lowest possible point (not sure if they did say it was the M' Trench or not), where there are proper freezing temperatures - good! You're learning, good job!! - just... In full. Full corpse. What's left of him. Just blup! Down with the fishies he goes!

I understand that they probably didn't know how to approach Optimus about it, but... At least behead the guy. He came back ONCE, who is to say he won't come back again?! Safety precautions my dears.

They also completely disregard what a giant extraterrestrial metal alien rusting away on the bottom of the ocean could do to the ecosystem at large. Like, I find this incredibly amusing, because this ISN'T something most folks think about when watching a movie but we have giant squids down there. We have so much weird things down there, the ocean isn't even fully explored AND YOU WANT TO CHUCK AN ALIEN CORPSE DOWN THERE?!

Now the real question: is he a looker? *looks at the pictures* hmmmm, depends on if you like knifes. Like, really like knifes. Like really, really REALLY want to get it on with a fine assembly of kitchen knifes that were exposed to the elements but somehow haven't rusted away completely.

I think he's neat.

Needs a good long powerwash though. Preferrably with something to help the whole "I was frozen for more than 50 years and sprang back to action as soon as I woke up" thing that happened.

My man needs to take a moment and get his bearings, like dude. Please. You can conquer the world after some energon and slow system boot-up period. The strain on the systems my dude, you ain't young.

Also love that this "death" was probably reused in TFP because lord golly, do we love our faves ending up under the sea. (Though Megan took a much bigger fall, Bayverse WAS PLOPPED INTO THE WATER LIKE A NEWLY ACQUIRED FISH I CAN'T YOU GUYS I CAN'T!)

In short: I love the comedy of american military giving such disrespect to an Alien Warlord. These guys are really sealing their fate.

I loved the way they got the Witwicky family to be important to the plot

The whole "selling my great great grandpa's glasses on e-bay" thing gives us a very good self insert/OC/rewrite/movie AU potential. Don't like Sam and his disgustingness? Find a way to write a cousin or some far off relative or hell, even just someone who buys the glasses off e-bay and go wild with it!

Archibald was also clearly an inspiration for Isaac Sumdac as far as I can tell, what with both of them using Megatron as a means of helping technology advance.

Only difference being one of them lived and actually talked to Megatron after he came back online and the other got driven to madness and death due to the amount of information beamed into his brain. Isaac also acquired a space baby daughter, so the guy is absolutely luckier of the two.

Mikaela being fucking competent and badass throughout the movie, and not being just fanservice eyecandy

I could do without the fanservice, but her personality? I loved it. I loved that she wasn't crawling to Sam and wasn't being "hard to get". Which is also why I was very displeased at the very sudden "oh yeah, romance! She returns his feelings after he took her for a ride and let her vent her frustrations!". The movie is 2 hours long and they could throw in some moments where these two connect?

Welp, it is an action movie, boy gets girl no matter what, can't complain about the staple in the genre.

However, Mikaela x Optimus? Now THAT is something I considered as soon as the two locked eyes and interacted. Like, even taking my shipping goggles off, these two could have a very interesting dynamic and Mikaela could be a very good protagonist. I wonder what the movie would be like with her as the lead and Sam being the fucking moron she has to drag along with her.

BUT ALSO! Can we talk about the horrible, excruciating fact that her and Bumblebee drove around with Bee's damaged legs dragging over asphalt all the time he was shooting at 'Cons? There were sparks flying! SHE WAS DRIVING BACKWARDS! She took command of the situation and did what she could because Bee still wanted TO FIGHT!

Also, they way she beat up Frenzy? Gorgeous, I want to slap Sam's non-existent balls off for not atleast saying "thanks". The dude would be sliced thinner than cabbage if she wasn't there.

The millitary man we are supposed to care about because his wife gave birth while he was on duty and we see his baby three times in the whole movie, actually being a pretty awesome and well-written character

Look, personally, I was a little confused at the reason why we were seeing his wife and baby interacting/the scene where she thinks her husband is dead. Mostly because I don't like kids, so scenes like that, when I don't even know who the character is, have no impact at all. Him having a baby isn't going to make me like the guy more, unless I know his character. Him being absent because he's on duty doesn't mean he'll be a good dad (though he looks like the kind of man that will try his best, and I like that in a man). So seeing his wife and kid at the start of the movie seemed pointless to me.

BUT! FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES HERE!

Lennox is a good character and whenever he was on screen I was invested in what is going to happen to him. He's the kind of action movie lead that would have me invested, despite my meh interest in mainly gun fight oriented action movies.

Essentially, loved the guy, would love to see more of him while also being able to tell what's happening on screen. Also the comedy scenes he was in were usually funny.

~

Okay so these are the things I like about the first movie! It was very long, had to watch it on 2,5x speed because it simultainously dragged while ALSO giving me too much information, but the moments like these and the way my imagination latched onto characters I liked made it watchable. It isn't a movie I'd use to introduce someone to the TF franchise, but it provided me with lots of material for my imagination to run wild.

[hot-wiings]

The One Where You're A Retail Worker And Have To Deal With Christmas Karens All Day, But You Get To Come Home To Two Sweet Boyfriends.

Edited: 12-14-2020

You sighed as you walked up to your apartment door, your body ached and you sported what could be called the worst migraine ever. You felt completely done. With sluggish movements, you inserted your key into the slot and pushed the door open. Even with your mask on, your senses were immediately sent into overload from the scent of freshly baked Christmas cookies as you entered the apartment.

You would be gorging your feelings out later.

"How was work princess?"

You ripped your mask off and placed it in the mask basket and put your hand on the wall to balance yourself as you began taking off your work shoes. You tried to muster up the best smile you could find to deliver to one of your boyfriends, Katsuki Bakugo. You didn't want to worry him, him, or Eijirou. You didn't want them to think you couldn't handle your job. They were already pressuring you to quit, with the assurance that they would help pay for your bills, but the idea of taking advantage of the money they made as rising heroes felt so wrong, and medical school was so expensive.

"It's was fine."

You finished with your shoes and practically threw them on the ground before you walked over, leaned up on your tiptoes, and kissed Katsuki on the cheek. You felt too exhausted to kiss Katsuki, but you knew he wouldn't have let you go without a hello kiss. It was quick and brief, practically a graze against his cheek.

"Give me a real kiss."

You lightly groaned, turning from the entryway to your shared bedroom to look back at Katsuki who was frowning. Normally you wouldn't complain about how clingy Katsuki got when you came home from work. He was so clingy, especially after he baked, and you loved it. You loved when he was soft, a special side he showed to you and Eijirou that the world wasn't privy to. You loved it so, but today you were so tired. So sick and tired of everything, and you just wanted to be alone.

"I just got back from work, can't I just go shower? Gotta wash away any residue COVID."

"Fine, but you're gonna give me a real kiss once you're done."

You turned back around and made your way to the bedroom, thankfully your other boyfriend, Eijirou Kirishima, was not in there. You grabbed some clothes from the closet, they weren't even yours but rather one of Katsuki's shirts and a pair of Eijirou's boxers. You were too upset to notice - not that either of them would care at the prospect of you wearing their clothes.

You walked into the bathroom, closing the door shut behind you. You tossed your clothes onto the closed toilet seat before you turned the nobs of the shower on so your boyfriends would think you were bathing, guise as to why you actually came into the bathroom. After a minute of letting the shower run, a minute of waiting to see if they would come to talk or interrupt you, you slid down to your knees.

Bringing your hands up to your face you tried not to let the sobs out. You wouldn't will your self to cry, you didn't want to give them the satisfaction. You couldn't handle it. Every stressful thing you went through that day. Every rude word yelled at you. Every word screamed at you. You tried to push it down, letting nothing but a few stray tears escape, but soon more and more fell. They fell and fell until a sob escaped your throat. A knock on the door broke you out of your reverie. Quickly, you swiped your hands over your eyes to wipe away the tears shed. You tried to steady your voice and even your breaths.

"What's up?"

"Hey, what do you want for-"

"I swear to god, please do not ask me what I want for dinner."

"Sorry, I won't... Are you okay?"

Eijirou didn't wait for your answer before pulling the bathroom door open. He frowned at your form, on your knees with your hand pressing into your mouth, obvious tears streaking down your face. He sat down on the ground next to you, pulled your body on top of his lap, and wrapped his arms around your frame. Carefully, he tried to pry your hands away from your mouth.

"It's okay baby, it's okay. I'll figure dinner out. I can go to the store, I can get your favorite, or there's takeout. You want takeout?"

Your sobs grew louder as Eijirou rocked you in his arms, trying desperately to comfort you. You didn't want to worry him, you didn't want him to see you break down. He was a hero who could handle everything, and you were a med-student who couldn't handle getting yelled at by a customer. You felt another pair of hands on your body, rubbing your arms and whispering words. Your sobs must have attracted Katsuki's attention.

Great. Another person to see the stressed med-student finally crack.

"Hey, what's wrong princess? What's wrong? Did some fuckin' extra hurt you? I'll fuck them up, they won't even know what hit them."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's okay baby, just that it all out."

"It's the stupid holiday rush. A woman got mad at me, she called me a stupid whore and threatened to spit on me, then my manager said I handled it too poorly and lost a valuable customer. My manager singled me out and gave me shitty jobs, and made me deal with any upset customers. I have a fifty-page paper due soon, my teacher hates me and medical school is so fucking hard."

"I'll fucking blow up the department store."

"Katsuki, no."

"Katsuki, yes!"

"I'm fine, I can handle it-"

Katsuki pressed a kiss against your lips to get you to shut up. It was a long, deep one. One he would have liked to get earlier but you had deprived him of, all due to these fuckers putting you in a stressful sad state.

"You're overexerting yourself. Just drop your shitty job, simple as that."

"I need to pay for medical school. It's so expensive, student loans won't cover it all."

"Princess. You have a fifty-page paper due and you barely have time for it because of your job. What good is paying for medical school if you don't pass it?"

"Baby, Katsuki's right. We can pay for it, we might not be pros yet, but we still bring in a hefty amount combined. Well, take care of yourself."

You bit your lip, contemplating their words. Katsuki was right. What good is paying your school bills if you didn't have the grades to stay in the program? But you didn't want to take their money. You didn't want to be the girl who had to leach off of her boyfriends.

"It's really expensive..."

"I know you hate the idea of us paying for it, so we'll compromise. We pay now, and you can pay us back after you've graduated."

"I think that sounds like a fair deal. Consider it a secondary student loan."

"Okay, I'll quit... But you have to let me pay back every single dime, not a penny less."

Eijirou buried his face in your neck, leaving little grateful kisses up to your ear where he left sweet little murmurs and whispers.

"You've got this babe. For now, just destress, we can all take a shower, and we can even convince Katsuki to do his thing."

A little smile makes way to your face as you lace your fingers with Katsuki. You bring his hand up to your face and leave soft kisses on his knuckles as you and Eijirou look at him with pleading eyes.

"Will you do the thing...?"

"What thing-Oh. No. Last time I said I was done, I mean it."

"Please, Katsuki... It'll help me destress and relax."

"Yeah. Do it for her."

Katsuki gives you both a scowl, but you could see a discreet smile break though as he stood up. He put his hand out to help you up out of Eijirou's lap and lead you both to the kitchen.

"I swear to fucking god, this is the last time I'm doing this. I mean it this time."

Katsuki grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head before proceeding to grab the knives and measuring cups.

"Now, what do you want for dinner?"

[homesickhalfling]

Barry S3 E2 - my thoughts as the episode aired. What do they call that? Live blogging? Whatever I'll put it under a cut to spare you

- wow he's so hot just leaning there fuck

- title card cut always makes me laugh

- THE COOLEST GIRL IN THE WORLD ♡ Elsie Fisher!

- "people don't argue in perfectly scripted arguments"

- the music changes when he enters the room. There's like a dull hum when he's there

- A PURPOSE

- oh my god the editing is great in this show. The slow pull and one sided perspective of this conversation.

- Pacing. Cinematography. Writing. Timing. THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A SHOW

- the head hitting again!

- yelling 😳😨 but 🥵😏

- Bill is such a FUCKING GREAT ACTOR

- the hypocrisy of her lie grows. She is writing about standing up to her abuser and getting out from under it (which was a lie) but now its clear to everyone that she never really did get out from under it because she's still being abused

- those poor girls are traumatized

- the door unlocking thing, so funny! How smart the way he sneaks in these organically funny moments into such serious ones

- Barry yelling at Cousineau in the trunk so plainly in front of the security guard that can clearly see there's no one else in the car so he is either (1) crazy and yelling to himself or (2) there's someone in the fuckin trunk???

- skinny papa moment- I've definitely had this moment in real life lmao

- the mug hehe such a tough crime boss drinking out of this silly mug

- you actually can report that to HR! You should! Domestic abuse partners showing up at work has killed many people (like that nurse a few years back) it still falls under workplace violence and harassment

- "You're a bad actor Mr cousineau" LOL

- "literally the worst date ever. I'm not exaggerating this time.. No look, he ordered MILK with dinner!" Fucking KILLED ME

- Africa by Toto again

- aww farmers market and sangria so gay

- Luke and Lorelai!!

- OMG CAITLYN RILEY HEY GIRRRRL!! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU Holy shit

- D'Arcy Carden is so freaking cute 😍

- Barry flipping the script and using Cousineau's speech in his audition... wow

- "everyone deserves a second chance" 💔

- there's a lighthouse on Hanks hand (OFMD brain kicks in)

- "wait are you breaking up with me?" Nnooooo! Hes saying I love you!! Hes saying I love you too much to bear the thought of your death and I need you to live, which is why I have to leave. Amaaaazing heartwrenching writing.

- the extended sound effects as he leaves omg omg so good, way to make me laugh when I'm down

- more Metallica

- the plot exposition in this show is so *chefs kiss* my favourite thing about Barry is it never underestimates the audience. (Its so fucking meta and self aware) the show presents itself to a smart viewer who can glean the story development through the details in set dressing, blocking, lighting, sound, cinematography. It all works to tell the story so perfectly and doesn't try to hammer in the dumb shit we can know just from visual queues with bogged down or overdone dialogue.

- this phone call where she's apologizing after he yelled at her (1) and he's just acting like nothing even happened (2) is a very real (and again wildly self aware and meta) depiction of what an abusive and unhealthy relationship is like! She's stuck doing everything she can (making him dinner, putting on his fav music, buying him a new controller, saying she wants to hear that he's happy) just to placate this damaged man to try and keep his wrath away. This poor girl is just like me... can't keep herself away from damaged men.

-also the writing of her character to always think of herself first in every single scenario is just very organic and consistent and you'd barely notice it if she wasn't so goddam annoying

- Wilhelm scream!!!! YES BILL

- "I don't understandwhy you're leaving me" "you have too many dogs." With the visual gag of all the dogs chasing Cousineau in the background 🤣 (counted over 20 btw)

- "little girl" dude she's literally a grown ass adult

- crazy homeless man

- does he think he's dead? Omg the dog

- OMG BARRY'S THERE "we both committed a little too hard " omg omg so good omg scary 😭 scary smart and hot 🥵👌

- the seat pat!! I am delighted every second of this show

- "can you say it?" 😫 he is so broken omg that is terrifying

- *IMMEDIATELY RESTARTS EPISODE*

- "I swear on Janice's soul not to say a word to anyone".. and then he does!?!? to literally the first person he sees!!! Did she mean nothing to you? Wow

[huenjin]

— rue's milestone celebration/follow forever.

i've always wondered whether to do this or not, but then here i am, three thousand and a little more followers later, doing this because i am so, so grateful to all and some a little more for hearing my insanity out.

i hit the milestone exactly on this blog's six months/half a year anniversary and i think i squealed about this to krissy because honestly, that is insane. i do not know what to say but all my head can scream is thank you, thank you, thank you— to every single person who decided to click on that follow button and follow me on this journey.

my writing is still messy. my blog is sporadically active and i die on you guys way too often. my activity is sometimes crazy but here you are and here i am, still hand in hand, together and for that, i must love you. i will love you. i will also be forever grateful for not letting go of me. thank you.

to every mutual, to every single person i talk to, to every single person i follow and see you on my dash just as you see me on yours, i secretly have a huge crush on you! squeals, bye!

° :: you have a special message!

@aliceu ♡ @baekhvuns° ♡ @bangtantaegi ♡ @bearseungmin° ♡ @binniesthighs ♡ @bratlino ♡ @bxngchxn° ♡ @chaangbin° ♡ @chanluster° ♡ @decembermoonskz ♡ @delicatewerewolfsoul ♡ @formidxble ♡ @hwaven ♡ @http-chan ♡ @illicit-roses ♡ @itsapapisongo° ♡ @jeonginify ♡ @jeonqqin ♡ @jinned ♡ @jl-micasea° ♡ @kabira ♡ @legendaryoikawa° ♡ @lixesque ♡ @mochinnie° ♡ @moonlit-lixie ♡ @neo-shitty ♡ @nightshade-minho ♡ @popisdead ♡ @quokkacore ♡ @satanssmuts ♡ @seungmoomin ♡ @sleepylixie ♡ @sparklemin° ♡ @teasty ♡ @violethhj ♡ @vocalyunho ♡ @vogueinnie ♡ @youhn°

@baekhvuns ♡ my wife, my whore, and just mine. ki, baby, thank you for gracing me with your insanity. like i hate you lovingly for ruining me for everyone here on tumblr as much as you hate me for corrupting you with church girl fantasies. i love you and thank you for following me here even though i just has forsaken my atz + bts writing blog. thank you for that <333

@bearseungmin ♡ it's been a while since we spoke but omg, the way you write leaves me gasping, dawnie. can't wait to get back to reading your ricochet series and i also can't wait to catch up with you !!

@bxngchxn ♡ fuck, ryn, the way nara introduced you to me and i'm so glad because you are just such an insane human being and so pretty that you glow. i love you for being so nice, so optimistic and so mature about everything!

@chaangbin ♡ haze, babe, i go 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 every single time i text you because i love talking to you so much and i love being honest and downright real with you. i love making theories with you and i love spilling tea to you. we should probably start our own buzzfeed unsolved, tumblr edition.

@chanluster ♡ you crazy bitch, that's all i think every time i see you. your writing to the craziness you spew out, like ma'am, spare some talent for all of us here, yeah? also, talk to me, homie. i miss you spewing incoherent mess in my inbox. i love you, my art kid. one day oil painting won't be a bitch to you!

@itsapapisongo ♡ javi, you are so fucking supportive you make me cry. how can someone embody positivity as much as you do is what i will always be surprised over. also, your writing is so poetic i will cry again. ily, my home boy!

@jl-micasea ♡ the way i look upto you, mi. like you're my maternal figure here on this hellish site and i miss talking to you but that doesn't mean that i'll ever stop thinking of how impeccable you are. thank you for being an inspiration.

@legendaryoikawa ♡ THIS IS MY BITCH. OFFICIAL NOTICE. like hell, hannah, how are you still here? how are you still here and how are you still bearing with my insanity. thank you for naming me rue. thank you for loving me. thank you for telling me how to deal with it all. thank you for supporting me. fuck, i love you, baby.

@mochinnie ♡ i aspire to write headcanons like you write them, isa. thank you for so inspirational, for being so bold and strong and thank you for everything. and thank you for making me a whore for innie?

@sparklemin ♡ big brain nara. there's nothing better in the whole wide world than your prompt ideas and thoughts like they make me cry, scream and fall in love and that's the power they hold. nara, thank you for being such a warm person to talk to !!

@youhn ♡ my main girl, how have you been doing? i'm sorry for being such a trash person barely being able to catch up with you! i promise i'll open discord and respond to you, in a case where you haven't already forgotten your password! thank you for letting me be the genuine me and thank you for letting me open up to you! i love you!

— i most definitely must have forgotten few because going through the followers list when you have an active main account is so hard; just because i can't differentiate who's a moot for which account. i'm sorry for that. but thank you to each one of you because you are here. you are here to read my stories and hear the tales i have for you. to more to come <3

[marsbutterfly]

A Message From Beyond

Summary: In which Hanji sacrificed herself to save you, instead of Moblit sacrificing himself for her.

Notes: This is the second time I've written AND edited a fanfic all by myself, so please bear with me :)

AO3 Version! | Wattpad Version!

It's been weeks, but the empty space where she used to sleep hurts more with each passing day. While your side was perfectly organized, you don't dare touch Hanji's part of the room. You cling onto one of her shirts, trying to feel her once again. 

As you glance at the bedside table, you see a couple of random books and her spare glasses. The sight brings a smirk to your face, "of course you would leave a mess behind" you think to yourself but at the same time, it makes your heart ache.

You can't smell her perfume in the air anymore, and the warmth of her body is gone. The words "I'm all alone" have been hammering in your head since you had come back. A sob escapes your body, no matter how strongly you try to hold it in.

The tears that run down your face bring your body into a state of exhaustion, forcing you to close your eyes and rest. Lately, that has been the only way for you to get some sleep.

.

You open your eyes to find yourself underneath a tree, the sun peeking from behind the leaves keeps your body warm. You rub your eyes as you sit up, trying to recognize your surroundings but with no luck. You can hear a voice in the distance calling your name, the person's face is too far away for you to be able to tell who it is.

As their image becomes more clear, you can finally identify who's calling you and the sight brings tears to your eyes.

"Hey Y/N! I've been looking all over for you... are you all right? Why are you crying?" The figure that once stood in front of you now sits by your side, analyzing your features while concern fills her eyes.

You immediately cross your arms around her neck, not saying a word. You hold onto her cloak allowing the tears you've been so familiar with to come out all at once. You feel her hands gently touching your body, the softness of her fingers against your skin is all you've been thinking about ever since you watched her disappear.

"Hanji..." is all you manage to say while the hiccups and sobs escape your throat.

She doesn't say anything, she closes her eyes and allows herself to feel you in her arms. Her hands go through your hair in an attempt to calm you down. The chilly breeze hits your face while you take a deep breath, a sense of calm in your stomach as you can once again smell her skin.

"I miss you" you whisper in her ear, your face moving down until you reach her lips, not giving Hanji enough time to say it back. As you kiss her, she shifts allowing her back to rest against the tree while you gently sit on her lap. Your hands travel through her neck all the way to her cheeks. You peck her lips gently before separating your faces.

"Why did you have to leave me, Hanji?" the noticeable pain in your voice forces her to look down. She takes a few seconds before answering and, as she does, you run your fingers through your face, drying the tears that form in your eyes. Once she's ready, she flashes you a sad but gentle smile while tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.

"I had to protect you."

Your face contorts into a frown, your bottom lip shaking lightly. "I didn't need to be protected, I can take care of myself."

She lets out a sigh closely followed by a giggle, "at that moment you couldn't."

You rest your head on her chest as she plays with your hair. The memories of that fateful day come rushing through your mind.

-

You can still hear the terrified screams of your comrades as you watch Bertholdt's silhouette rise in the sky as he's about to transform. Yours and Hanji's squad are too close to him. Panic rushing through your veins as you look at your girlfriend.

"Y/N!" You can barely hear her, the buildings around you being destroyed by the explosion and the fire is spreading quickly, there is no way you can survive it. That is until Hanji pushes your body into a decaying old well.

As you are falling, you closely watch as her body is incinerated. In a second, she is gone. The wind that helps your body go down the old well betrays you for a moment when a rock hits your left eye. Once your body collides with the floor, you pass out.

After 20 minutes, you open your eye to find yourself still holding onto the thunder spears. Realization not fully hitting you yet, you make your way up to see the damage. Air barely manages to enter your lungs as you watch the results of the Colossal Titan's transformation. The buildings being thrown around as if they weigh nothing startle you. You take 5 minutes to look around, but with all the fire and dust, you can't find anyone, you quickly realize it wasn't possible for any bodies to be left intact, they were all incinerated.

Before tears have time to form in your eyes, you decide to go looking for the group of teenagers surrounding Eren. You can't remember much after that.

-

You shake your head, trying to push away the painful memories, your hands slightly punching the grass by your side. You once again lay on her chest, allowing her to caress you in the manner you miss so much. It takes you a few minutes to notice you can hear her heart beating. As you sit up a gasp escapes your lips.

"I wish this was real." You look deep into her brown eyes, begging whatever God out there you could make this moment true. Begging for her to come back. Your name falls from her lips as she takes on a serious expression, a strange feeling settling in the pit of your stomach as you stare at her.

"The real fight has yet to begin." She doesn't take her eyes off of you. The uneasiness you are feeling only grows bigger every second that passes and every hair in your body now stands up. "Once you cross the ocean, you'll find out who the real enemy is."

Somehow the air feels thicker and it gets harder to breathe. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, a confused expression settling on your face.

"What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you much more than this, but Y/N, you shouldn't trust Eren." she pauses for a few seconds, trying to figure out just how much she can tell you. Taking a quick breath, she continues, "Watch out for your friends, especially Mikasa and Armin, they will need you the most."

You start to feel her body fading through your fingertips, her image once again disappearing right before your eyes. Despair is the only feeling you have left.

"I'll always be right here with you, you are never alone." she continues as she places one final kiss on your lips, it's so gentle and quick you can barely feel it.

"Be careful, all right?" is the last thing she says before her body disappears completely from underneath you. You fall on your back, the grass rubs against your skin and it leaves a gentle shade of red to it.

"Hanji.." you whisper while covering your mouth with the back of your hands, whimpers coming out of your body like never before.

Your eyelids are now as heavy as rocks and you can't keep yourself awake. As you drift back to sleep, the darkness around you becomes rather comforting and before you're pulled back to the real world once again, you hear it as clear as the day you met her,

"Y/N, I love you."

.

You open your eyes slowly, trying to shift around on the empty bed in a way so the bright sunshine won't touch you. The empty space by your side feels a little less painful today.

You decide to head to the bathroom to take a cold shower and prepare for the day but Hanji's words not leaving your mind for a second. Don't trust Eren, but why not? Who will we have to face to finally have our freedom?

The warm water against your skin relaxes your shoulders, the steam hiding the scars left by the Colossal Titan's brutal attack. As the soap bar slides through your body, you think about the feeling of your girlfriend's soft hands against your limbs and how she always took care of your injuries. Carefully, you wash your face, slowly feeling the spot where your left eye used to be.

You turn the water off and walk towards your room. The chilly breeze against your skin after such a hot shower brings a gentle smile to your face.

Once you have your clothes on, you make sure to carefully bandage your left eye before grabbing the black eye-patch that rests by the door. As you walk past Hanji's old office, you can almost see her running around with a small sample from a titan in one hand while she looks for a pen, Moblit following her not far behind trying to make sure she's ok. You smile at the now empty room before starting to walk once again.

"Good morning Commander!" You turn around to face the short, blonde-haired boy. You could tell by the look on his face he was exhausted after training, but his smile looking as bright as always.

"Good morning, Armin." you say before flashing him a compassionate smile.

"Will you be joining us for breakfast today?" he asks softly, not wanting his worry towards you to be visible through his voice.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute. Mikasa and Eren seem to be waiting for you."

He looks to his left to find his friends waiving at him, so he simply nods at you before sprinting towards them.

You look out the window towards the sky, maybe you're right Hanji, I'm not alone. You continue your path towards the dining room before stopping one last time in front of the massive doors, you can almost feel Hanji's hand on yours as you open them. For the first time since you became the commander, you finally feel like you are ready to be the leader the Survey Corps needs and as a promise to yourself and Hanji, you will not let them down.