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chimcess · 4 months

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Waterlog || pjm (4)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 11.8k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: ANGST, crying, mental health issues, talking about mental health, I'm so soft for them it's actually wild, best boyfriend Jimin, did I say angst????, past drug use, past alcohol addiction, past trauma talk, crying, anxiety, hand holding, touching as a love language, Jimin can't keep his hands to himself, he does try his best though, pining, sexual tension, banter, I love these two A/N: I know we're a couple of weeks late updating, but I've been very busy with moving so I haven't had the energy to write. I did a very quick edit, so this might not be perfect. I'm planning on coming back once I'm in my new place to do a full proofread. Hope you like the update!

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Hand clutching my phone, I sighed. All around me the airport buzzed with life. I had almost forgotten how hectic the Denver Airport was. A few feet away I saw a mother struggling to keep her children together while her husband scrolled on his phone. I must have made some sort of noise, subconsciously voicing my annoyance, because Jimin laughed.

“What’s going on, gran?” He teased, voice light. “See a couple of youngins on your lawn?”

I scoffed, tearing my eyes away from the family. “Just a shitty husband ignoring his children.”

He hissed, sucking in air through his teeth, “The worst kind of dude. Are you alright?”

Softening, I finally spotted my luggage on the conveyor belt. Twisting my torso, I did a light stretch and then quickly snatched the heavy bag up. “Not too anxious, right?”

He had been very worried about letting me come home for a visit. When I had originally brought it up he offered himself up for the job, but I was not a fan of that idea. My friends would definitely bring up our date and I did not want to deal with the awkwardness that would cause. Especially since we had yet to go on it. That would not matter to Hoseok, however, and the teasing would have been endless. Better to spare Jimin from their wrath for just a little while longer.

“I’m cool,” I replied, softening. “Just got my stuff from baggage claim. I’m going to let you go so I can call Andy.”

“Okay bug. See you in a few days.”

Harper had recently started calling me that, forgetting my real name and not caring enough to ask for it. Eloise had tried to scold her for it, but I told her I did not mind it. It caught on with Cameron not too long after that, and soon the entire Park family had started using the little nickname. Jimin thought it was adorable from the beginning but had only started using it after our talk the other night.

I laughed, “I’m going to call you tonight.”

“Aw,” I knew he had that stupid smile on his face. “Miss me that much?”

“Someone needs to make sure you’re staying out of trouble,” I replied, a confident pep in my step I had not had in years. “But yes, I do miss you.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“I miss you too.”

I could feel my heart melting. I was still getting used to our new dynamic. On most days we were strictly business, and were able to set aside the very large, very apparent elephant in the room. It was not until we had finished with work that those roles dropped, and we were able to just be us.

Ever since my confession in the car Jimin spoke a hell of a lot more. Apparently, he had a hard time keeping his feelings to himself and chose to talk a little less in order to avoid a slip up. He wanted to give us both a little bit of time to get to know one another before springing his crush on me.

“Going soft, kid?” Playing things off with humor was Jimin’s thing, but it had slowly started to rub off on me. “It’s only two days.”

“I know,” He pouted. “Call your friend. It’s cold and you’ll get sick.”

“Hey,” I cut the teasing tone I had, “You’re not upset I came here by myself, right?”

“No,” He chuckled with an unmistakable fondness. “I’m just messin’ with you. I’m not ready to meet your friends and you need some alone time. We’re good, I promise.”

I sighed in relief, “Okay. Good. I’m going to go now. Talk to you later?”

“Call me when you can,” He replied, voice light.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, bug.”

I was disappointed to hear the line go dead but knew I could aimlessly walk around this airport all day if given the chance, so long as he was there with me. Trying to get my thoughts back on track, I sent a text to Andy asking if she was here yet. If not, I was already making plans to call Jimin back.

Andy: I’m parked in 5 near C Gates

Andy: Be careful

Andy: Saw a lady almost get hit by a car just now

Me: See you in a sec

Me: Should I be worried?

I knew she was trying to make a joke, but car accident punchlines never went over all that well with me. Even if I knew the chances of that happening to me were almost zero, I really did not want to have a panic attack in the airport parking lot.

Andy: Not at all. I’m so sorry for even saying anything. I can come meet you at the doors if you want.

Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. Sigh of relief. I was fine.

Me: I appreciate you

Me: Is babygirl here?

Dani would help the spike of anxiety dissipate. The girl was fearless and was sure to be distracting enough to keep me from paying attention to the oncoming traffic. I suddenly wished that Jimin was here. He always knew what to do.

Andy: Jin and I are weak

Andy: We let her play hooky

Bobbing and weaving through bodies, I tossed my phone into my purse and made my way out of the airport. The arrivals station was packed, and I would need to take the automated train to where Andrea was parked. It was my least favorite part about this airport, but it beat Dallas-Fort Worth by a landslide. I had gotten lost in that airport more times than I could count.

Three minutes later I was getting out of the train and stepping into C Gates. I could smell Auntie Anne’s and felt my mouth begin to water. Checking my clock, I decided it would not hurt to make a quick spot for lunch. Andy would appreciate it and I knew Dani loved their pretzel dog.

There was a little less traffic in C Gates. More of the expensive airlines let out here, and all you could see were business professionals pacing back and forth. A family on vacation bumped into me while I was waiting in line, and I almost gave up my spot when their toddler started screaming.

“No, no,” His mother insisted, her hair a mess on the top of her head. “Between the girls and my mom, we’ll be here all day. Go ahead, sweetie.”

Two little girls danced around me as we waited, the line moving at a snail's pace due to the airport being understaffed. They asked me questions incessantly, and while their mother had tried her best to keep them in line, I told her I was fine with the extra attention. I loved kids and the girls were harmless. The boy in her arms kept repeating “pizza” and soon an elderly woman joined them.

If the girls talked a lot, they had nothing on grandma. Not only did she never shut her mouth, she was loud and obnoxiously laughing every few seconds. The boy was quick to beg to be in her arms and mom got a break. She was back to attempting to corral the girls, but again they did not really listen.

“They’re only like this when my mom’s around,” She sighed, frustrated and tired. “We’re meeting up with their father and they’re all a little restless.”

“It’s no bother,” I lied. The girls really were not that bad. Just a couple of four-year-olds having fun. The only person who was really getting on my nerves was her mother, but I was not about to say that. “Better to get it out now than in the car, right?”

She cracked a tired smile, “Right.”

Finally, it was my turn to order. The young girl behind the counter gave me an award-winning smile while another young blonde was in the back getting all of the orders out.

“Hi, welcome to Auntie Anne’s. How can I help you today?”

“Can I get one original pretzel, one cinnamon sugar pretzel, and a pretzel dog combo with a lemonade and cheese,” Glancing behind me, I sighed. “Throw in a pizza pretzel, two orders of pretzel nuggets, and whatever else the family behind me wants.”

She smiled, blue eyes twinkling prettily in the bright lights. Turning around I waved the mother over and told her to get something for her and her mother. She put up a small fight, but eventually gave in when she realized I had already put our orders together.

“Thank you so much,” I thought she might burst into tears when my card was approved. “You really didn’t need to do that.”

I shrugged, “It was nothing. Have a nice vacation.”

Walking to the pickup area, my order was already waiting for me. With nothing more than a simple wave, I left the dysfunctional family behind. The grandmother’s loud thank you seemed to echo off of the airport walls, but it was a little less grating now that I knew I would never hear it again.

Andy threw herself at me when I finally made it outside, little Dani wrapping her arms around my legs with squeals of delight louder than her mother’s. Taking her pretzel, Andy gave me a fat, wet kiss on the cheek and told Dani she could eat in the car.

“How’s gymnastics, girlie?” I asked the little girl once we were in the car. “Still kicking ass?”

“No,” She laughed. “I quit, like, forever ago. Appa put me in ballet classes.”

I gave Andy a look. The red head rolled her eyes, fixing me with a knowing look. I had been telling Jin to put her in dance for years.

“It’s been two weeks and she’s already trying to talk him into figure skating.”

“You’re a little hustler, huh?” I reached into the back, squeezing her knee. Dani giggled, angling her body away from mine. She was very ticklish. “Keep at it. You know your dad’s a sucker.”

Dani laughed, “My vovó says the same thing.”

We listened to Olivia Rodrigo on our way to the Kim house. Hoseok and Matilda had planned a huge coming back party for me, and from what it sounded like, I was going to meet Tilly’s new boyfriend.

“Anything I need to know about Max?” I asked.

Andy was almost as in the dark about the guy as I was but was able to tell me he was a tattoo artist from California. The two of them met at Frank’s bookstore and by the end of their conversation Max had managed to get her out to dinner and in his bed. It was a whirlwind romance, one that made me feel uneasy about its foundation, but I was still obligated to be happy for my friend. They could be soulmates for all I knew, and I was not about to judge anybody else for their version of a first date.

“I don’t want to talk about tattoo guy anymore,” Andy whined playfully, turning up the radio when “Good 4 U” came on. “I need to know more about your little boyfriend.”

I groaned, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

This was why I was so adamant Jimin stayed away. We had yet to have a real talk about what we were, choosing to wait for our first date to iron out those details, but no one in my circle seemed to understand. All they heard was the word date and suddenly wedding bells started going off.

“Stop deflecting. We both know he’s your boyfriend, official or not,” She laughed, stealing looks at her daughter in the rearview. “What’s he like?”

It was a hard question to answer. On the one hand, I felt like I knew him better than anybody else, but I was self aware enough to know I didn’t. His body language, the way he looked when he beat his best time, and all of his preferred gear were seared into my mind. The movies he liked, his favorite albums, and all of the best tv shows ever made. He went to college. He was the sweetest, kindest, most understanding person I had ever met, and yet… he still felt far away. The shadows that oftentimes clouded his vision were still a mystery to me, and when he came into practice with a lost look on his face, I felt helpless. I knew him and yet I didn’t.

“He’s quiet,” I finally landed on. “Very nice. Always willing to help other people out if he can. You’d like him.”

Andrea scoffed, “That’s it? The first guy you’ve dated in years and all you can tell me is I’d like him?”

“We’re still getting to know each other,” I sighed. “What do you want to know?”

We spent the rest of the car ride going over the last two months' worth of pining. I told her about Fiona, Jimin’s family, and all of my new friends. She almost pissed herself laughing when I told her about the night he asked me out, making so many Hoseok and Tilly jokes I had a difficult time focusing on the story. Andrea seemed to be finished with her interrogation when we pulled up at her house.

Dani ran to the front door, her excitement about the party making any discomfort I had disappear. It was hard to feel uncomfortable with her around. Taking my hand in hers, the little girl shifted her weight from foot to foot, shouting at her mom to hurry up, and opening the front door anyway. Andy told her to calm down, and I just chuckled and went along with it.

The living room was filled with all of my favorite people, a large ‘welcome home’ sign hanging on the large, backwall. Underneath it was a huge table covered in food, a cake in the middle of it, and I had a feeling Sarah made it. Both her and Frank were the first people to notice me, their faces lighting up, and I let go of Dani’s hand in favor of embracing the elderly couple. The rest of the party comers erupted their voices loud and filled with love as they took turns passing me around.

“Missed you, Otter,” Hoseok murmured in the crook of my neck, hands secured around my waist.

“Missed you more,” I replied, releasing him and catching Tilly. “Jeez, girl. Trying to kill me?”

“Come meet Max,” She replied, dragging me away from Hoseok.

Max was a tall, lanky guy with black hair that fell down his back. His clothes were on the baggier side, all black, and I recognized the band on his t-shirt from the shit Matilda liked to listen to in the car. He smiled at me, and I was surprised to see him rocking adult braces. He introduced himself, his voice deep and warm, and shook my hand. They were baby soft and covered in tattoos.

“It’s great to see you,” I replied, genuinely meaning it. If I had to picture a guy more perfect for Tilly, I would come up empty handed. “Thanks for coming.”

He flushed, impossibly pale skin turning a bright shade of red reminding me of Jimin.

“Anything for Mattie,” He replied.

Huh, he had his own nickname for her and everything. I would need to hang out with Max more before I could say if I liked him or not, but so far, I had a good feeling. Andrea’s worries seemed a bit silly now. They really liked each other, and Tilly’s heartbreaking, dimpled smile made me feel more confident in her partner. They would be just fine.

The party was fun, and I ate more spinach and artichoke dip than was healthy. Hoseok and I talked about my afterschool visit tomorrow. The boys had a swim meet Saturday and the two of us were hoping we could tag team in order to iron out any issues they had been having. I was being placed in charge of the freshmen while Hoseok made sure the other kids were feeling confident and ready for the meet.

"Let's party!" Frank boomed, lifting a beer into the air.

I laughed, "Be careful, old timer. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

I thought of Jimin again. That sounded like something he would say. Surrounded by the people I loved, I laughed hard and partied harder. The plates of food came one right after the other, and I was happy that I still had a place here. Falling back into my step, I fit seamlessly back into the fold.

"Dance with me," Hoseok demanded, tipsy and red-faced.

"It's your toes," I replied, taking his head and letting him take the lead.

The other couples were already dancing and hooped and hollered as I awkwardly followed the steps. I was not always a bad dancer but lost some of my rhythm in the accident. Hoseok never minded and let me step on his feet without a single complaint.

"You look happy," He commented, spinning me around.

I smiled, "I am."

He smiled back, wincing when I stomped down on his toes again. I apologized, but he just held my hand a little tighter and kept moving. I hummed along to the song, filled with joy. He spun me again, and finally let me go when I slammed into Jin.

"Go get some cake or something," He laughed. "You're too dangerous to be out here."

I rolled my eyes, "I tried to tell you. It's your fault you don't listen."

"Don't need you anyway. I have enough swag for the both of us."

I watched, thoroughly amused from the sidelines, as he moon-walked around the living room.

I left just before midnight after staying behind to help Andy and Jin clean up. The others left a few hours before to get back to Denver at a decent time. My house looked the same as always, dark and empty, but I could tell the landscapers had been around. The grass was recently cut and edged.

The silence inside was deafening. I had always known my place was too big for one person, but after spending so much time in my little she-shed at the Andersons’ house, everything here just felt excessive. Tossing my keys in the bowl beside the door, I wiped my eyes and decided to just head to bed. I would only be here for three days. I would be back in Saline before I knew it.

Dragging my body upstairs, this sudden depression-filled fatigue made my shoulders feel ten times heavier. A chilling, almost insidious, hollowness began to spread across my body. I knew this feeling all too well and it made me feel pathetic. Could I not be on my own anymore? Had I really grown that attached to my life in Michigan? Finally getting into my bedroom, I realized that I had.

Saline was perfect. Living in Colorado Springs has always bothered me. The people here held more traditional values and making friends was difficult. I had Andy and Jin, but they were both very busy people. Andrea was a full-time nurse, Jin’s schedule was somehow even more erratic than his wife’s, and when they were off, they wanted to spend time with Dani. I was lucky if I saw them once every two weeks.

Hoseok, Tilly, and Minho all lived in Denver, and while I saw them more often due to the meetings with Frank and Sarah dragging me into the city, it was not like we hung out every time I was out there. Days would go by with me speaking at all, and most of my weekends were spent in bed sleeping. Working at the school helped, but I would never claim anyone from the swim team to be a friend. I was not in the habit of befriending children.

Living in Saline was different. Jimin was always there to make me laugh, and when he wasn’t, I had people like Taehyung and Sam to keep me company. Giselle was young, but we got along so well I often forgot about the difference in age between the two of us. Megan and Yoongi were Michigan’s own version of Andy and Jin, and I could see myself becoming good friends with them given enough time. No one had kids, no one was too busy trying to keep up with crazy expenses, and I could find a little house away from the rest of the world to spend my life in.

I thought of the Parks, a family who I had come to love more than I thought was possible, and the Andersons who took me in and always tried to make me feel comfortable. Eloise and her kindness. Luna and Cameron. All of them. I loved and adored every single one of them, and it was then that I finally let myself really think about what I wanted.

Did I want to come back here after I was finished with the season? Did I really want this massive house if it meant I had no one to share it with? No, I decided. Stripping out of my clothes, the numbness was being replaced with a different strange feeling. It felt suspiciously like hope. Excitement came to me so rarely it was foreign and odd, but nice all the same. Jittery, I took my phone out of my pants pocket.

“Hello?” Jimin’s voice was scratchy when he finally picked up.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yes, but it’s okay,” I could hear him shuffling around in his bed. “Did you have fun?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, climbing into bed. Then, without thinking, I blurted, “I think I want to move to Michigan.”

I held my breath as I waited for his response. There was no telling how this conversation would go, but I was hopeful. Even if this whole date thing did not go very well, I was positive that we would be able to move past it with a little bit of time. We worked well together and if he was comfortable with it then we could continue working together. Regardless, there was always coaching at a school.

“Like, permanently?”

I nodded but after a moment of silence remembered he could not see me.

“Yeah.”

My stomach started to churn. As the silence on the other end began to stretch, the excitement I felt before faded. Even if I said Jimin and I could get past a potentially awkward break up of sorts, I would not pretend that the thought did not make me physically ill. We would never be the same if that happened. It would be something to think about if it came to pass before the Olympics was over.

“Did something happen?” He finally asked, and I could hear the genuine worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

The fear shifted to hurt, irritation, and anger, making my eyebrows knit together.

“I’m fine,” I could not keep the bite from my voice. It was petty and wrong of me, but his insinuation that I was not in my right mind was insulting. It made me feel like a child. “Just- forget I said anything. I don’t know what I’m even talking about.”

“Don’t do that,” His steady calmness made me even angrier. “I’m only asking you because it came out of the blue, not because I’m not happy with the idea.”

Now I just felt silly. Here I was making these small revelations, waking him up from his sleep, and then getting snippy because he did not respond the way I had wanted him to. Ugh, I wasn’t even his girlfriend yet and I’m acting like Darcy. A shiver went down my spine. That was an insult above all others.

“I’m sorry,” I murmured, the attitude from a few seconds before gone as quickly as it came. “I got defensive for no reason. Sorry.”

He chuckled, the sound barely audible over the phone.

“I forgive you. Now, why do you want to pack your life up for good?”

That made me laugh. It was a sad, pitiful sound. One that did not hold my usual spunk. One I don’t think Jimin had ever heard before. It was impossible to feel sad when he was around.

“I forgot how quiet my house is,” I admitted softly. “I love my friends, but I think coming back just reminded me of how easily I was able to fall back into the routine of it all. Jin and Andy are parents, Tilly has a new boyfriend, and Hoseok and Minho are always so busy with their own lives that I don’t see any of them as often as I would like to.”

Turning on my side, I blinked back a few tears.

“It might sound stupid, but I really do love Saline. I like how busy I am and all of my friends. I bought this place with the hopes of kids and a dog one day, but I don’t think that’ll ever happen, and now it’s just rooms collecting dust. I just-” I let a tear fall, my emotions starting to bubble over. “I don’t like how lonely it feels out here.”

“Doesn’t sound like you like it there. Have you always felt like this?” He asked.

I shook my head, the tears free falling in between sniffles and shaky breaths.

“Not always. Ever since Namjoon died things have been weird. There was a point when I felt suffocated because no one would leave me alone, and then one day everything resumed, and I just got left behind. It was like I woke up and two years just passed me by.”

Jimin comforted me while I cried, telling me how much he hated to hear me so upset, while I worked on calming down. There had been a time in my life when I was not so emotional, but therapy had opened up a whole new side of myself I didn't know existed. Rubbing my face, I sniffled and sank deeper into my mattress. For now, the waterworks had stopped.

“You were recovering,” He soothed. “Your body needed time to heal, and you were traumatized. I don’t think anyone can blame you for zoning out for a bit.”

I hummed, “I know. Doesn’t make it easier to swallow.”

“I know how you feel. When I pulled out of the Olympics last time there was a part of me that felt like a huge failure, but my dad was there to help get my head back on straight. He doesn’t seem like it, but he’s a really great shoulder to cry on.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” My voice was like sandpaper. “James is the sweetest person I’ve ever met.”

I felt heavy. Worn. Used. My eyes begged for me to shut them, but we were just getting back into safer waters, and I didn’t want to burst the bubble. I yawned, covering my mouth and hoping Jimin could not hear the sound. He had gone quiet.

“Can I ask you something?” Jimin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence that had formed around us. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Shoot,” I forced myself to smile.

“What happened to Namjoon?”

I closed my eyes. This was something I knew would come up sooner or later. My lip wobbled uncontrollably as the second wave of tears crashed over me. I hated talking about this, but I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. Jimin deserved the truth, and honestly, I wanted to tell him. Being vulnerable with someone felt good. Being vulnerable with Jimin was divine. He was always so ready and willing to go along with things, listening and watching my every move, and trying his best to understand me. It was refreshing. It was nice. It was familiar.

“Was he in the accident with you?” He asked and his voice was so, so gentle.

“Yeah,” I croaked, finally finding my voice. “I went out with some of my friends and got pretty drunk. I was tired and ready to go home, but my ride didn’t want to go home yet. So, I called Joon.”

I sucked in a deep, loud breath. Jimin told me I could stop, that I didn’t owe him anything, but I ignored him. This wasn’t about owing him. This was about letting the guy I liked get to know me. This story was a part of who I was, as fucked up as that may sound, and I wanted him to get to know this facet of my life as deeply as he knew the present day one.

“Anyway,” I continued. “He offered to come and pick me up. Twenty minutes later I’m getting into his car and we’re on our way home. We’d just gotten engaged and bought our first house together- things were perfect. I had never been happier.

“We ended up taking the long way home because of an accident on the interstate. It was my idea, and Namjoon had a knack for going along with whatever I wanted. We were only two minutes away from the house when we got hit.”

I took a few deep breaths and wiped my face. Jimin was quiet on the other end. After a minute or two, I jumped back into the story.

“There was a four-way intersection around the corner from our place. Our light was green when we drove up. I don't think he thought to check if there was another car coming. He never even saw the truck. He, uh, died on impact.”

“Jesus,” Jimin breathed.

“The other guy was drunk as hell behind the wheel. Not paying attention. Funny thing is, he was the only person who didn’t get critically injured. Just a broken arm and a concussion. He wrapped our car around a light pole. My leg was pinned between the car and the light, and the airbag is what caused the brain injury.”

Jimin cursed under his breath, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Me too.”

He let me cry for a little while, saying over and over again how sorry he was and how he wished he was in Colorado with me. I did not have anything to say to him. It felt like my chest had been ripped open and my heart was on full display.

I never questioned how quickly we went from barely talking, to joking around, to sitting up late at night on the phone talking about life. It just happened. Clutching my phone in my hand, I let out a deep breath and held back any more tears from falling. I never said it, but I wished he was here, too.

“Hey,” His voice was gentle when he spoke, so fragile and sweet, that I had to force down the sobs threatening to come out. “I just want to say I’m sorry for how I reacted earlier. You wanting to move here is probably the best thing I’ve heard all fucking year, but I just didn’t want to sway your decision.”

Sniffling, I tried to tell him I wasn’t upset, but he shut me down almost immediately.

“Let me finish,” His voice did not leave room for argument. “I know I don’t act like I’m insecure, but I am. I can be selfish and self-centered, and I’ve always had to really work on those parts of myself.”

“I don’t understand what that has to do with anything,” I mumbled, curling into a ball beneath my blankets.

“Like I said, I can be a very selfish person,” He sighed. “There was this part of my brain just wanting to hear you say you were coming here and staying with me for forever. I didn’t want that to take over the narrative. And- no offense, but if you did move all the way out here just to date me, I think I’d be a little creeped out honestly.”

I snorted. Hearing that he felt the need to explain any of that to me felt like a small win, even if it did make an alarm go off in my head. It took courage to be that open and honest with another person, especially someone who just cried their eyes out. His compassion and understanding never failed to amaze me, and I was grateful he trusted me enough to let me into his mind for once. Still, it did not make the creep comment any less funny.

“Don’t laugh,” He whined, unable to stop himself from chuckling. “I’m being serious.”

“So do you want me to be a creepy stalker or not?” I joked, hoping to lighten up the mood. “Make up your mind, kid.”

“I think I just want you to be yourself,” I melted. “That’s been working out just fine so far. I mean, if you are a creepy stalker, you managed to get me to like you.”

“Mission accomplished,” I breathed, still reeling from his sweet words. “You better watch out, 007. There’s a new spy in town.”

“So, I’m Bond and you’re Joe Goldburg?”

“Exactly,” My cheeks hurt from how much I was smiling. “Penn Badgley would be a decent James Bond. He was really great in Margin Call.”

I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile.

“Holy shit, you actually watched it?”

Margin Call was one of Jimin's favorite movies from 2011. He kept a very large notebook filled with all of the movies he’s ever seen, along with ratings, and if he should ever watch them again. He went through it one day and came across the action film, rewatched it, and then spent most of the day talking my ear off about how great it is.

“Someone I know was very passionate about it, and it managed to pique my curiosity.”

Jimin sighed, but I could not tell what emotion was behind it. Definitely was not anger or frustration. Not sadness either.

“What time are you getting back on Sunday?” He asked, and I could definitely hear the affectionate tone his voice had taken on.

“Um,” I thought about it for a moment. “Six, I think.”

“PM?”

“Yeah,” I curled up under my blankets. It was beginning to get really cold inside, but I did not want to get up to turn the heat on. “I have to double check my flight times, but I know it’s somewhere around there. Why? What’s up?”

“I know we already made plans for next week, but I was thinking I could pick you up from the airport and we could go out.”

My face grew hot, “I don’t think I’ll be dressed for a date.”

“You always look great,” He assured me.

I laughed, nervous and embarrassed, “Thanks.”

We had originally planned our first date to be the weekend after I got back. Jimin was adamant about giving me an experience, and I had been more than happy to indulge him a little. He was just so cute when he got excited. We were running on a limited timeline right now, though, since he had an upcoming swimming fundraiser with Swim Across America in Allendale. The team was raising money for cancer research, and I was very excited to be there to show my support.

Moving the date up meant we would have less to do next weekend, unless Jimin still wanted to keep our plans in place, but it meant we could focus on the fundraiser instead of trying to juggle a date at the same time.

“I hate to go, but I’m really tired,” Jimin yawned. Pulling my phone away from my ear I was startled by how late it was. “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

I apologized for keeping him up so late. “Promise I won’t do it again.”

He hummed, already beginning to fall asleep, “Don’t mind. You’re always welcome to bother me in the middle of the night.”

“Night Jimin,” I whispered, blood pumping.

“Night bug.”

There was one thing I missed about Colorado- how quickly the snow melted. Michigan was seeing more snow as each day went by, but here in the mountains they would not start seeing the worst of it until the spring. For the first time in a month, I was able to forgo my large, puffy jacket in favor of a long sleeve and jeans. Jimin found my excitement over this endearing, sending a slew of heart-eye emojis in response to the mirror photo I sent him.

It was almost the end of the day when I pulled into the high school parking lot. The entire front office erupted in excitement when I walked through the front doors, hugs and well wishes overwhelming me. Sandra, the receptionist, could have talked all day if I let her, and after signing in, I politely told them all I needed to meet up with Coach Jung. I lied about stopping by on my way out and only felt a little bad about it. They were way too much for me.

“They’re going to be so excited to see you,” Hoseok mumbled, a smile stretching across his face as loud teenage boys got closer and closer to the pool house.

“I’m happy to see them, too,” I replied. “Should we wait until they change to make the grand reveal?”

He shook his head. “Would you rather hug now or when they’re in speedos.”

I shivered, disgusted by the mental image.

“Thanks for putting that in my head, you sick fuck.”

Choking on his spit, Hoseok bent over, laughing so hard he started to screech. His laughter reminded me of a ghost's wail and was contagious. We were both so wrapped up in our little bubble we did not notice the doors opening.

“Coach?”

Wiping my cheeks, I caught my breath and made eye contact with Jordan. Baby blue eyes widened while a large, dimple smile overtook his face. Behind him, Gabriel announced that I was here, and the room was filled with excitement. I was not much of a hugger, but I was happy to greet each boy with one. Gabriel hadn’t stopped speaking since catching sight of me and had a few accidental slip ups about how much he disliked Coach Jung.

Hoseok had alluded to that being their main issue right now. The boys were having a hard time adjusting to a new face and missed me dearly. To his credit, Hoseok admitted that he was still getting used to the coaching thing and made a couple mistakes his first few days here. He had made it a point to apologize to them for being a dick, but the teens hadn’t forgotten or forgiven him for his snappy attitude. Especially the two oldest.

“When are you coming back?” Marcus asked.

I smiled sadly, “I’ll be out for the rest of the year.” The tall boy deflated, sending a nasty look Hoseok’s way. “But,” I was quick to fix my mistake, “I’m planning on making trips to assist Coach Jung throughout the year. I wanted to be here for your last meet, but something came up.”

That something had been Jimin’s birthday, and I was not going to risk missing his party.

Regardless, Marcus and the team were very happy to hear they would be seeing me.

“I promise I’ll be here for graduation, too,” I added.

Gabriel offered to give me one of his tickets and I gratefully accepted the extended offer. We stood there and talked for at least fifteen minutes before I finally told them to get changed and into the water. Without protest, all twelve of them went to the locker room.

“You know,” Hoseok chuckled. “You're going to have to teach me how you manage to do that.”

“Cinnamon buns from Mountain Shadows,” I put on my whistle and grabbed my clipboard from my duffel bag. “They’ll be eating out of your hand in no time.”

The team was glowing. Jordan stood in the middle of the boys, a large smile on his face, as he praised them for giving the meet their best effort. Having another win under their belt, all of them were buzzing with excitement at a chance at nationals. They only needed to win three more competitions to qualify.

For the first time since I arrived, the icy contempt they held for Hoseok seemed to thaw. It brought a smile to my face. If I did not come back next year, I had a feeling the boys would be getting along much better.

“What’s for dinner?” Marcus asked, looking at me for an answer.

“Coach said something about burgers,” I replied, gesturing towards Hoseok. “You should ask him though. I could be wrong.”

Gabriel chimed in, “Yeah, we’re going to Bingo.”

My mouth watered. Bingo Burger was one of the best spots in town. Their fries were hot and crispy, and I loved their shakes. Mulling over my options for dinner, I always found myself stuck between the Gone Shroomin’ Burger and the Happy Hippie. For a vegan burger, that thing was really fucking good. Then again, a thick, juicy beef patty smothered in bacon, cheese, and mushrooms would hit the spot. Indecisive and bored, I fiddled around with my phone and somehow ended up texting Jimin.

Me: Gone Shroomin’ or Happy Hippie?

The noise on the bus was just in the background now and easy to tune out. Hoseok was laughing loudly with the freshmen while the two seniors were in a quiet conversation in the seat in front of me. Marcus and his girlfriend broke up recently. I stopped paying attention once my phone vibrated.

Jimin: No idea what that means

Jimin: Gone Shroomin I guess

I bit my lip, suppressing a smile.

Me: We’re going for celebration burgers

Me: The boys won and Hobi is treating them since we’re out in Pueblo and not getting back to the Springs until after dinner.

Jimin: Speaking of food… I was thinking we could get some BBQ on Sunday

“Y/N!” Hoseok called, making me look up from my phone. “Tell your boyfriend you’ll call him later.”

“We need you to be the tiebreaker,” Twig chirped.

“What for?” I sighed, glancing down at my screen.

Jimin: Have you been to Union Rec yet? It’s BBQ and a taqueria

Me: No but I’m always down for a burrito

“Do mermaids have gills?” Twig asked.

Fully pulled out of my phone, I flipped it around and gave the boys my undivided attention.

“Of course not. They’re mammals, so it would be a blowhole.”

Hoseok clapped his hands, “Thank you! That’s exactly what I said.”

Sliding further down in the booth, I closed my eyes and drowned them out again. Colorado’s air was so dry and crisp I was having to get used to the altitude change. I missed how wet and cold Michigan was. Smiling to myself, I remembered how much I hated it when I first landed. So much has changed…

Shuffling, I made myself more comfortable. We were only thirty minutes out from the Springs now, and we would be at Bingos right on time for Hoseok’s reservations. Feeling myself growing tired, I sunk even further into the booth. Eyes heavy, I let them slip closed, and slept for the rest of the bus ride.

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I smoothed down my skirt for the millionth time. The gray sweater I had thrown on seemed too casual now that I was looking at myself, but I did not know what else to do. It was a laundry day, but when I went to put my clothes in the dryer it refused to turn on. Violet said they needed a new one anyway, but that did little to improve my mood. The pretty red dress I wanted to wear was soaking wet and hanging from the shower rod to dry. I played with the skin on my lip, willing the black and gray outfit to somehow look nicer. On the other side of the phone, Andy sighed.

“You look fine,” She insisted, running her hand through her auburn hair. “Do a cute hairstyle and put on a nice pair of earrings, and you’ll be golden.”

“You don’t think it’s too plain?” I had asked her this five times now, and each time I got that same reply. “I mean, do I look like I’m going to a funeral?”

“The guy has seen you in sweats and no makeup and still wanted to take you out. Do you honestly think he cares about the color of your outfit?”

She had a point. Finally deciding to cave in and give up on my obsession, I took her advice to do something with my hair. A few of the strands were beginning to look silver, and my sideburns were looking paler every day, but after Hoseok told me he was starting to see a few grays, I decided to leave them be. If we were both going to be silver foxes, I liked the idea of doing it together.

“Are you wearing heels?”

“No,” I shook my head. I picked my phone up and went to my bedroom to find a pair of earrings. “It’s too icy. Silver or gold?”

She thought about it for a second, her face scrunched up cutely.

“Silver.”

I landed on some thick, gun-metal hoops. They matched the color of the sweater perfectly and did not take away from my face too much. I had spent too much time on looking this nice to have an accessory dominate. Andy was happy with my choice.

I had gotten back a little earlier than I originally thought I would, and asked Jimin if it was okay that I meant him at the restaurant out here instead of making him drive all the way to Detroit to pick me up. He had put up a bit of a fight about it but relented when I said I was hoping we could hang out at his house after dinner. I said I wanted to get myself home, but I was really trying to see how bad the drive was from his place to mine. The thought of spending more time in his space made me feel like a teenage girl.

“How’s ballet going?” I slipped on a pair of black tights. It was freezing outside, and I wanted to have as many layers on as possible. “Has Dani made any progress in getting her figure skating career started?”

Andrea laughed but said that her daughter was getting closer to her goal every day. Jin was weak and did anything the little girl wanted if he could. This was the only issue they were both bull-headed about. Jin wanted to teach her to be responsible and follow through on things, and Dani was tired of preparing for figure skating. She wanted to be on the ice and her dad was afraid of pushing her too far too young. I was most definitely a team Dani instigator, and it was a point of contention between Seokjin and I.

“What did you think of Max?”

I smiled. That boy was definitely a character. The gang and I had a nice dinner before I left Colorado, and Tilly brought along Mr. Tattoo guy. He was quiet and when he did talk, he always had something completely random and out of the blue to say. He fascinated me and when everyone started huddling in their own groups to chat, I turned most of my attention to the new guy.

He was a sweetheart, and it was a nice change of pace getting to know him. He hated being called Peter (his first name), went to college for nuclear engineering, and became a tattoo artist on a whim. A buddy of his wanted a new piece, paid Max to draw it, and trusted the guy with a tattoo gun. He was an apprentice in San Francisco for three years before moving to Denver to open up his own shop. For all of his eccentricity, he was very successful and down to Earth.

“He’s good for her,” I finally replied, zipping up my Doc Martens, I checked the time. I would have to leave soon. “I’m just happy there’s no drama between her and Hobi.”

It had been a year since they officially broke up, but I knew they fell into bed with one another a handful of times since then. Hoseok and I had talked about their weird relationship on one too many drunken nights, the swimmer the only person able I liked enough to force a glass of whiskey down. Tilly knew that I knew and would vent to me sometimes. They loved each other, knew one another better than anybody else, and it was easy to fall back into each other since we were in the same circle.

I doubted Andy knew anything about that, we tried our best to keep her out of the loop, but she always said that they still had lingering feelings. I hoped Hoseok was handling this news well. He seemed fine, happy even, so I just rolled with it. If he had a problem, I was sure I would have heard about it by now.

“Speaking of Hoseok,” The humorous tone in Andy’s voice caught my full attention. “Apparently, Jin saw him at The Rabbit Hole with some blonde girl before you got into town. He just remembered to tell me last night.”

This was news to me. Wracking my brain, I tried to figure out if he had brought up a date, or even a person he might be interested in, but nothing came up. Shrugging, I let it go. It was probably just some girl he picked up at the bar. Still, that would be an expensive date.

“He hasn’t told me anything about that,” I murmured.

“Might be why he’s not bothered by new boyfriend.”

I laughed, “Or it could be that they’ve moved on.”

“Oh, please,” She pulled a face, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “We all know that’s not true. At least, not until recently.”

“Regardless,” I sighed, grabbing my purse and walking out of the front door. “It’s none of our business. If they’re happy that’s all that matters.”

Andy raspberried, “Boo. I hate it when you’re all mature and adult-like.”

“And right,” I joked. “Don’t forget about that part.”

Locking up my little house, I made my way through the Anderson’s. Violet was watching the Golden Girls on the couch while Calvin was reading a book beside her. It was a sweet scene that made me smile. I wanted what they had.

I gave them a smile and wave as I passed by. Violet returned it in full, her eyes kind and gentle, before going back to her show. Calvin put his book down and asked what time I was planning on coming back. He wanted to keep an eye out for my car.

“Around midnight,” I replied, moving my phone away from my mouth. Andrea was rambling about the new doctor on staff. I trusted her disdain enough to know he was a huge dick. “See you two tomorrow.”

“Be safe out there,” He replied, going back to his copy of The Catcher and the Rye.

Andy and I were on the phone for the entire car ride into Ann Arbor. I enjoyed hearing her voice, the small distraction welcome when I felt my anxiety spike. Thankfully it was a Sunday night, and the streets were somewhat empty.

Once I got into the downtown area, I drowned out her voice completely. Andrea never minded. She just kept talking like I hadn’t stepped out of whatever conversation we were just having. Never got mad when I kept asking her to repeat herself either. She was a wonderful friend to me, and I was grateful to have her in my life. If I moved to Saline, she would be the person I missed the most.

I still hadn’t talked to anyone else about the possibility of moving. I was not sure how they would react, and I needed to have my mind made up before giving any of them the news. While I knew Andy and Jin would be supportive, and Tilly and Minho wouldn’t really care all that much (it just gave them an excuse to vacation in Michigan), it was Hoseok I was most on the fence about.

With him it could go either way. He would either be really happy and supportive or call me crazy. It came from a place of love, and I respected his opinion more than any of the others, so I had to be completely sure of myself before getting into something like that with him. If he thought for a second I was rushing into things he would go into overprotective, big brother mode and kill all of my excitement. He might even be able to change my mind if he fought hard enough.

Pulling up to the restaurant, I was impressed by the sheer size of it. One half looked like an old warehouse while the other half was a small, white bricked building. A red neon sign glowed in the night and a large party was hanging out outside of the building. I could see Jimin in their little group and smiled. He was a very popular man in this area and was able to make new friends wherever he went. If I had to guess, he knew someone and is now best friends with all of them.

“Hey, I just got to the restaurant. I’m going to let you go.”

“Okay, baby,” Andy replied. “Have fun. Talk to you later.”

“Text you when I get home,” I replied.

Andy was as hypervigilant about getting texts as I was. She was on staff at the hospital when Namjoon and I first arrived. I can’t remember anything from that night after getting in Joon’s car, but when Jin and I spoke about it he said Andy was one of the nurses having to help triage me. She had to be physically pulled away from my body once the doctors found out about our connection, but the image of my body that night is burned into her mind. She was the person who took care of me the most upon release and quit her job at the hospital for a little while in order to make sure I was well taken care of. Calls and texts were just our thing now and I always felt horrible for being part of such a traumatic event for her.

“Love you,” She said.

“Love you too,” I replied, hanging up.

Getting out of my car, I locked the doors and made my way over to Jimin. He caught sight of me before I reached the small group and broke out into a huge, heart stopping smile. Unable to stop myself, I smiled back and waved awkwardly. He said something to the group before meeting me halfway.

“Hey, you,” He said, wrapping his arms around me. “You look really pretty.”

I laughed nervously, squeezing his waist. “Thanks. I tried my best.”

Pulling away, I was able to admire him a bit better. He was wearing light jeans tonight, a rarity as he preferred sweatpants and slacks, and a black t-shirt. A leather jacket was a staple in his wardrobe, and he always said they kept him warm enough. I never believed him. As always, everything was a tight fit and showed off his body perfectly.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said once my appraisal was finished. “Nice boots. Where’d you get them?”

He looked down at the black, Chelsea boots and shrugged, “Nordstrom, I think. Taehyung got them for me a few Christmases ago.”

Of course he did.

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold.”

Jimin laughed, “My apologies, ma’am.”

The restaurant was packed, but Jimin had arrived thirty minutes early to get us on their waitlist, so I only had to wait five minutes for our table to be ready. Jimin brushed off the gesture as first date etiquette, but I knew better. The kid was late to everything and yet he got here early so I wouldn’t have to stand outside in the cold. It almost made me reach out and hold his hand, but my nerves got the best of me. We were at our table before I could gather up some courage, leaving a disappointed, bitter taste in my mouth.

“I’m feeling Disco Fries as an app. You?”

Searching the menu for them, I nodded. “That sounds really good.”

We were quiet for a few minutes as we decided on what we wanted. The menu here was rather large, filled with Mexican foods and copious BBQ items. Having never been here before I had no clue what was good and what hasn’t, but from how many people were here I had to assume nothing was bad.

“Know what you want?” Jimin asked, breaking the silence.

I shook my head, “No idea. What about you?”

“I get the same thing every time I come,” He laughed. “The Korean BBQ Burger is really fucking good. I also like the enchiladas.”

Finding both items, my mouth watered. Everything sounded amazing, but I wanted to get a little out of my comfort zone. I just had burgers yesterday, so I was not feeling that. Maybe BBQ? Looking at the options, I shook my head. I could not eat a half pound of anything. Biting the dry skin on my lips, my brain felt like it was working on overdrive. Too many options.

“Welcome to Union Rec,” I jumped a little, startled. “I’m Annie and I’ll be your server tonight.”

My eyes locked with a pair of baby blues, and I immediately recognized her. She was the brunette from the bar a couple of months ago. Eyes sliding from me, she landed on Jimin and the bored expression on her face morphed into one of pure bliss. I did not understand why she had given me that nasty look back then, but it was much clearer to me now. She had a thing for Jimin. Remembering she had a boyfriend, one she screamed at over the phone, it made me feel nauseous. Poor Tom.

“Oh my gosh, Christian. What are you doing here?” She asked, sneaking a look at me.

“Got a hot date,” He replied cheekily, gesturing his hand my way. “You remember Y/N, right?”

She gave me one of those tight-lipped, fake smiles. I returned the favor. I was not really jealous per say, Jimin’s declaration making any possibility of that disappear, but I did not appreciate anyone trying to make me feel small. I was a gold medalist. I was a fucking Olympian. Whoever the hell this chick thought she was, I would make sure she never thought for a second she got under my skin.

“Yeah, we met at Brecon’s,” Annie replied, completely ignoring me. “Thought she was your coach.”

Jimin either did not catch the insult or he was choosing to ignore it. His smile was still just as pleasant as it was when we first sat down. I envied his ability to keep his emotions so controlled. I knew I must have been glaring at the poor girl.

“She is,” He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she’s not my girlfriend. Are you taking our order or…?”

Annie spluttered for a second before regaining her composure. All affection in her eyes was gone and replaced by irritation. It was definitely directed at me, but Jimin’s dismissal must have stung. I was happy to be rid of her. Putting in our order for Disco fries, Jimin got a Sprite and Annie left before I could ask for a drink. Sipping on my complimentary water, I forced myself to breathe in and out. She was just a petty, annoyed girl with a crush. That was all. So, what if she was being rude? I was fine. Everything was fine. After the fifth sip, I actually believed it.

Trying to keep my tongue in check, I went back to looking through the menu. Finally able to make a choice, I decided on the birria beef ramen and closed the menu. Hopefully little miss Annie wouldn’t spit in it. Hot again, I took another long sip of water.

“Excuse me.”

Jimin flagged down another waiter, a pleasant smile on his face. Confused, I put down the glass and raised an eyebrow. He winked at me before laying the charm on thick.

“Hey Marty. Would you mind if we got a different server?”

The young girl nodded frantically, “Of course. Is everything okay?”

Jimin smiled, eyes like crescents. “Everything is fine. Just Annie on her bullshit. Don’t want to get her fired by talking to your dad.”

Marty rolled her eyes, “Figures. I’ll tell her I’m taking care of you guys. Just don’t expect me to be running around for you, man. I have an entire section by myself.”

“I want privacy anyway,” Jimin replied, smirking at me. “Thanks. I’ll tip you well.”

She laughed, “Just make sure you put it in my hand. That bitch has been stealing tips. Cosette is trying to convince pops to fire her, but you know how he is about the girl.”

Jimin shook his head, “I already know. Can you get my girl a drink? Annie ran off without taking her order.”

Marty looked at me, her deadpan stare making me burst into laughter. Apparently, it wasn’t just me. That helped.

“Sorry about her. She’s a massive bitch. What can I get you?”

I smiled, my mood a million times better, “Iced tea, please.”

“You got it, babe. You ready to order?”

Marty took our orders and promised to be back with my drink soon.

“How do you two know each other?” I asked Jimin, finishing off my water.

“We were in the same class back in high school. Her mom owns that flower shop on Michigan Avenue.”

That was surprising. I was positive the girl was no older than eighteen. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, her chubby cheek and big eyes adding something angelic to her overall look. Then again, Jimin did not look all that old either. It was easy to forget he just turned 24. The age gap was really messing with my brain.

Annie was back with Jimin’s drink a few minutes later. She said nothing when she practically slammed his cup on the table before stalking off. It was then that I knew who she reminded me of. Darcy. I wondered if they were friends. Definitely had the same attitude problem, that was for sure.

“Ignore her,” Jimin told me once she was out of earshot. “I’ve been doing it since middle school.”

The rest of our dinner went back without a hitch. With Annie out of the way, and Marty’s small and infrequent check-in’s, we were able to be in a bubble of sorts. He asked about my trip back home and filled me in on what happened over the weekend. He had finally told his parents about our date and said that his mom thought it was a great idea. James called me perfect a few times, too. I had a hard time believing it, but Jimin had never lied to me before. It was nice to know the people around him accepted me even if I was a few years older.

“My mom’s 9 years older than my dad,” He revealed in between bites of food.

Shocked, I stopped eating all together. I had no idea they were that different in age. Ne-Yeon looked so youthful and pretty it was hard to guess just how old she actually was. Even fighting cancer, that woman did not look a day over 40. James was also in great shape for his age. To hear they had their own age gap made me feel a little bit better.

“Wait,” Something else occurred to me. “Your mom was in her forties when she had you?”

Jimin nodded, “45. She had Haru at 48.”

It made sense to me now. To Jimin, our age gap was nothing special. It was smaller than his parents’, and having an older mother did not bother him at all. In his eyes, we had all of the time in the world for marriage and kids. A small weight came off of my shoulders. It really did not mean anything to him. He was not just saying that to make me feel better either.

“Do you want dessert?” He asked, his plate empty in front of him.

I was almost done with my bowl, “What do they have?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking.

“I know they have this horchata banana pudding. It’s literally the best dessert I’ve ever had in my life. There are a few other things, but I can’t remember what they are.”

I chuckled, “Then we’ll have the banana pudding.”

Jimin was not exaggerating either. The pudding was delicious. I almost wished we had each gotten our own serving, but after seeing the bill we were happy we hadn’t. Jimin paid this time. We had a back-and-forth deal when it came to meals. I got us breakfast last Wednesday, so he was picking up this bill. This was, unfortunately, much higher than Denny’s.

“I’ll put gas in your truck,” I offered on our way out. “To make up for the difference from Denny’s.”

He scoffed, “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“We’re together now,” He interrupted me. “If I want to pay for a meal, then I will. You don’t have to pay me back.”

“We’ve always done that,” I argued.

“That was before,” He countered, walking me to my car door and opening it. “This is now. And right now, I’m trying to take a pretty girl, in a pretty dress, on a nice date. That includes paying for her meal.”

Getting into my seat, I pointed out that I let him do the gentleman thing all of the time. Opening my door for me, pulling chairs out at restaurants, and even walking on the curbside when we were out together. The list was endless. The least I could do was pay for half of a meal.

“I don’t do those things to get on your good side,” Jimin replied. “I do them because I want to. This isn’t transactional. So, stop worrying about being a burden. I enjoy taking care of you. You deserve to be taken care of.”

I could not think of a good enough comeback, so I just decided to drop it. If he wanted to pay for me then he could. It was his money to spend.

“Send me your address.”

“You still want to come over?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah,” I nodded, already pulling up the GPS. “What is it?”

He sounded like Charlie when he won the golden ticket as he gave me his address.

“Don’t get too excited now,” I joked. “Just because I’m coming over doesn’t mean anything.”

Jimin laughed, “I pretend I don’t even know what sex is until after date three, so don’t worry about it.”

That made me laugh, “Get in your truck. I’ll meet you there.”

Looking back at him, I felt giddy. His eyes were so alight, his joy written so clearly across his face it took my breath away. A happy Jimin was the only kind I wanted to see. Blowing caution to the wind, I finally reached out. Touching his stomach, I felt the muscles clench beneath my fingers.

“Thank you,” I said earnestly.

“What for?” He rasped, placing one hand over mine, pressing my hand further into his skin.

“For-” I broke off, taking my hand away. The feeling of him underneath me was too much. “For being so accommodating. I really appreciate it.”

He laughed, the sound strained and airy. I was too embarrassed by my actions to look at his face, but I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my eyes. Unlike me, Jimin was always brave. Hopefully some of that confidence would rub off on me. Maybe then I could reach out and hold him whenever I wanted to.

“You’re welcome,” He replied, and my thighs clenched together at how rough he sounded. Did touching him do that? Or was it the praise? It could be both. “Drive safe, okay? You can follow me if that helps.”

I nodded, swallowing. The icy air outside did nothing to put out the blistering heat coursing between us right now. It was overwhelming how hot it was. Turning up my A/C, I pointed the vent directly at my face.

“See you in a few minutes,” I breathed, still unable to look at him.

Jimin closed my door, and I leaned back in my seat breathing heavily. I watched him as he rounded the front of my car, those pants sticking to his legs like a second skin and groaned. I had never felt this level of desire for anyone before.

He reminded me so much of Namjoon. His beautiful brain and love for music and poetry so reminiscent it managed to bring me back to happier times. In the beginning I was afraid my attraction to him stemmed from that link. Because he reminded me of something I had loved so dearly that meant what I was beginning to feel was just a projection.

I was wrong. So unbelievably wrong. Jimin had a passion that Joon could never replicate. If Joon was a warm blanket, then Jimin was like the tide in the sea. On the surface it was calm, steady, and beautiful. Underneath that was life like nothing I had ever seen before. He was refreshing and filled with this fire for life that reminded me of my own from years ago.

Namjoon was perfect, a boy-next-door, and soft spoken. Back then I had enough of that passion for the both of us. Now I saw more and more parallels between us than ever before. I was uncertain, waiting for someone else to bring excitement back into my life, too afraid to reach out and take what I wanted anymore.

And then Jimin was there with that big smile willing to take me on whatever adventure I desired. All I had to do was ask. It was exhilarating, fun, and I was happy to be a part of the ride. His softness, his kindness, his understanding- all of it wrapped up in a pretty red bow. A gift that kept on giving.

I did not love Jimin, but I knew then that I could. With his sharp tongue and charisma, it was impossible not to. Everyone else did. Who was I to think I could be any different? I was a slave to his happiness. It was in that moment, sitting in my car, that I finally understood what was happening.

I was falling in love and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio @tae-with-some-suga @sumzysworld @chimmisbae

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darcytaylor · 2 months

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I am surprised Luke's team hasn't taken temp of the lukewarm reacting and lack of engagement on all things Luke + gf and worked to establish a new narrative for him. Even a lighthearted podcast guest spot would've made a big difference IMO. And if doing an appearance wasn't something he had in him, a few better instagram posts would've at least started setting up a new story around him and his career.

It took a bit for other season's leads to line up some projects, so they could've easily done a bit of a pivot in effort to clear up some of the subpar press around him in effort to set up whatever is up next for him.

Even his few posts since S3 came out don't seem to be well thought out, or that good of content.

I'm also desperate to know what the other Bridge cast thought about pap pics of him and his GF going out the day of the part 2 premiere lol. At best, it seemed sloppy and horribly timed, and at worst it seemed attention pulling and like he couldn't wait to get off the Bridgerton train.

It is a really sad situation to see play out if I am being honest. I just hope that his team do have a plan and maybe it isn't in motion yet. It could be that Luke's team knew he would be attending Rory's birthday party, so to wait it out just incase of backlash from that.

I don't think his team is stupid (and I know some people disagree), but they have been in the game for a long time. His team would know photo's would be shared on his friends social media accounts and I think it would be worse to have Luke make steps in a certain direction only to see a regression. I think that would have the potential to harm any plan that they may or may not have (while also making Luke's situation worse).

Luke's social media is interesting. I have said this before but I think that his decision to make it professional came a bit too late. He should have set it up that way long before the promo tour. But he probably wasn't completely sure until it was too late, and now it is clear he is having issues with his decision. He doesn't have jobs lined up other than Bridgerton season 4 (that we know of anyway) and his recent posts are subpar.

I also don't think Luke truly understood the potential for people to switch on his friend group (for the longest time people loved Rory, it's also been interesting to see that switch in the fans). He doesn't have the upper hand of his friends keeping his name out their, without it bringing drama and hate.

I am completely on Luke's side to want to distance himself from social media, but he's been put in a hard spot since his friends seem to be unwilling to not capitalize on him (even when they know it will not benefit Luke at this very moment). But I realize that they are also learning about the newfound fame of their friend, so it may just be a learning curve for them as well. (I do realize that their public persona's aren't doing them any favours and it's their actions that have made people come to this conclusion, but sometimes empathy is cool).

I do think that because of the backlash from Rory's birthday, Luke's team did contact him to make sure he is unseen in any of the photo's or video's. Or it's Luke's way of protecting his friends and asking them not to post any photo's or video's of him in them (does this make a difference at this point since they were caught by somebody else? Probably not).

I would assume that all of the Bridgerton cast mates think that the paparazzi walk on the night of the premier was unfortunate, and probably wish for it to have not happened. I agree with what you said - "At best, it seemed sloppy and horribly timed, and at worst it seemed attention pulling and like he couldn't wait to get off the Bridgerton train."

This was a very long winded response but I guess I had lots to say about this topic!

And as always, this is all speculation. I do not know any of these people personally. Could all of this be untrue, true or somewhere in between? Yes. So please keep that in mind.

#luke newton #bridgerton

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rxverriess · 2 months

Text

God, I'm not your strongest soldier

୨୧‥∵‥‥∵‥‥∵ ‥‥ 🐈‍⬛ ‥‥∵‥‥∵‥‥∵‥୨୧

Summary: Running away from the past is already challenging, and now the girl I never thought would acknowledge me has something against me and wants me to work for her. It could have been worse, but at least I'll get paid... but at what cost? Let's see how working for Aeri will turn out for the better or the worse. Hell, maybe even both. Pairing: Aeri (Giselle) x Fem! Reader Featuring: Yeonjun (TXT) and Woo Young (Ateez) Warning: Brief self-harm mention, Blackmail, Cursing A/N: Hello everyone :3!!! I finally finished writing and making this story and currently working on the next chapter (if this story turns out well ^^; ) thank you very much for your patience and I hope you enjoy this upcoming series. I was very inspired by @rosemaeridream story "Hate is no better than Love" (which I very much recommend and send love to the author) This is my first ever time writing fanfic, and would love to receive some feedback and criticism would be nice to make the storyline more smoother and enjoyable to read :D. Thank you again and hope you like this! Credits: dividers by @dollywons

I have always struggled to find a career path since I was young. Nothing has interested me, no matter how hard I try. I have hobbies, don't get me wrong but I never really saw them as career paths, even if I did my passion would be shut down by my parents saying “That's not a career (Y/N) that's just a little hobby, you should be earning money from it.” But what if I did see them as a career? Imagine opening my gallery, selling my artwork, and making a name for myself in the art world.

But as if right now I’m sitting in my finance lecture trying my best not to have a complete mental breakdown. Seriously, why did I sign up for this? I'd honestly rather marry an eighty-year-old dude who's guaranteed to cheat on me with younger women than endure this professor’s constant coffee slurping and forgetfulness. And wouldn't you know it, my earbuds decided to die on me. As I glanced around the room, I couldn’t help but observe my classmates – someone was playing Papa's Freezeria, a diligent note-taker, and Aeri who made eye contact with me... Wait what. I must be seeing things because I couldn’t possibly get her attention on me, like what did I do? She looked up and down at me then turned around and went back talking to her friends. Weird.

I couldn’t stop thinking about how Aeri. Uchinaga Aeri made eye contact with me? Aeri was a very….interesting person the nicest way I could describe her. She was very cocky, arrogant, and from what I heard also toxic. She leads on girls thinking they could have a chance with her, only to find out she just wanted to get something out of them and then break their hearts in the cruelest way possible or how boys fond over her to the point that they carve her name on their thigh or even worse commit suicide. It's no wonder she's got such a big ego. I mean, who wouldn't, with all the boys and girls falling over themselves to impress her, copy her, and just generally bask in her glory? She's practically a campus legend. And let's not forget her family's "old money" background – her great-great-great grandfather's company has been keeping her in the lap of luxury for generations.

But why was she staring at me? I never really cross paths with her unless it’s some snarky comments about my presentation whenever I present or how I was always not paying attention in class

“And that’s it for today's class, please make sure to submit your spreadsheet project by the end of the day which is due at midnight, and don't you dare email me over the weekend saying you lost progress on it or experiencing technical issues while submitting it. Have a good day” as the professor leaves the classroom. “Well shit,” I thought I haven't even touched the project yet here I was daydreaming about Aeri the entire class period.

No. No, I wasn’t. I was just caught off guard that's all, I would never think about her like that. She barely even knows I exist and it's going to stay like that.

It was now 9:00 PM, and I found myself in the library, attempting to break free from procrastination. Even glancing at the graph is causing me a headache. I took another sip of my third energy drink can and attempted to input the numbers from the graph when my computer suddenly slammed shut, nearly crushing my fingers.

“What the hell? What is your prob-” My mouth stopped as soon as I saw the person who was standing in front of me. Aeri.

“Um hi A-”

“You’re (Y/n) (L/n)?” she said cutting me off mid-sentence

“Yeah? I’m in your finance class…” I looked up at her, catching me by surprise at how she knew my name.

"I have a proposition for you," she said. "I'm looking for a photographer to take my modeling photos. And I stumbled upon your page and I have to say, your pictures are... decent."

She didn't even bother to make eye contact with me while speaking to me. It seemed like it was a struggle for her to compliment my work.

I rolled my eyes at her. "Well, Aeri, I'd love to work for you, but only if money is involved," I replied with a straight face. "Wow, aren't you greedy?" she scoffed in amazement that I had the nerve to ask for payment. "You get to work for me and all you care about is how much I'll pay you?"

“My time and work aren't for free and even if I were with the most famous person I would still charge them, I have a student debt to pay off not to mention my rent. And besides you come from a wealthy family how come you can’t find a professional photographer to take your pictures?”

“It's just” She pauses for a moment as if she is going to say something she shouldn't say “My family can’t know about this and that is all I’m going to say to you because it's none of your business” she smiled at me as she said that almost feeling like I was being threatened

"Even if I had a private photographer, there's a good chance they would try to expose me to get more money from my family," she said, almost mumbling that last part. She got up from her chair and came over to my side. As if the atmosphere just changed out of nowhere, why am I so tense? It's like the Grim Reaper is about to take my life away from me any second now. As she leaned on the edge of the table, making eye contact with me, she continued, "Besides you really can’t say no to me either way”

“What can you have that I can’t say-”

Then the room went silent when she pulled up a video. The video I’ve tried to run away from. The video I tried to avoid. The video that Aeri is holding that ruined my life in high school to the point I moved states away from home when I was applying to college.

Was it expensive to the point my parents wouldn’t financially support me? Yes. All because of a video. Pretty much. But yet here I am seeing how Aeri using this video against me. I just wanted to run away from it like how I’ve been doing for the longest time.

“Aeri,” I said with a stern voice, not trying to get my anxiety the best of me “Where the hell did you get that video from”

“Oh this” she held her phone up and smiled at me “I have some connections but that’s not important right now because now I have you in a position where you really can’t say no to me” She had a huge grin on her face that I just wanted to slap it off.

Red. I saw red at that moment. Why? Just why? Why is this happening to me now? Who the hell does she think she is? I thought I could simply just run away from it and be done with it but I guess not. I just wanted to leave and run far away from this world but felt stuck in my mind and couldn't even leave the chair as if someone put glue on it. When I looked up from Aeri, she was standing there, looking down on me like I was prey to her.

“Fine” is all I could say to her, not after the stunt she pulled out on me. I felt tired from that moment and all I wanted to do was just go to my apartment, lay in bed, and never wake up but unfortunately, not everyone can have that.

"Glad we agreed then," she said as she grabbed her stuff. Before she turned to leave, she added, "Oh, and one more thing” She handed me a sticky note with her number on it. "Text me if you have any questions or something, but don't text me too much. Otherwise, we'll only communicate by email, okay? Bye," she said then walked out of the library as if she hadn't just blackmailed me.

Fucking great just great (y/n) now look at what you got yourself into now. Not only you're going to be working for her and she has shit on you as well. Wow, I got the best of both worlds, didn't I?

The train ride was very silent on my way to my apartment, my leg kept bouncing up and down as I stared out the window with headphones on that I always kept a spare but even so the music couldn’t even calm my thoughts down.

ding

The announcement came on telling passengers of the next stop and to be ready to depart. I grabbed my stuff and stood in front of the door. I kept looking at myself in my reflection. And all I saw was a sixteen-year-old me looking distraught and disappointed. If only I could've hugged her and told her everything would be alright. But even she knows I'm lying to myself.

As I finally arrived at my apartment door where I already heard two of my roommates being very loud and obnoxious (as usual). I opened the door where I saw Woo Young and Yeonjun playing video games and being extremely competitive with each other in the living room.

As I step inside, I drop my keys in the bowl and slip off my shoes, tucking them away in the cubby before slipping into my house slippers.

"Guys, don't start roughhousing because I don't want to spend a month without a TV like last time," I yelled as I was in the kitchen trying to find something to eat, even though I had lost my appetite after that whole day. I simply grabbed a yogurt and headed to the living room to grab my bag.

“Jeez you look like shit” claimed Woo-young as he kept looking at me and then back at the screen. “Thanks” I replied as I was walking towards my room.

“Hard day in class?” yeonjun asked without taking his eyes off the TV, getting more aggressive with the controller

“Trust me that wasn’t even half of what happened today but I would appreciate it if you guys keep it down please I just want to sleep and hope this entire day was just a dream,” I said, knowing I got weird looks from them but turned down the volume a bit.

As I finally changed into my pajamas, I settled into bed and stared at the ceiling, recapturing what the fuck just happened today. I was simply minding my own business finishing my project, which I didn’t even get to finish but at this point why does it matter I just got blackmailed by the most popular girl on this campus, and worse I have to fucking work for her now. Memories of our brief encounter at the library began flashing through my mind.

My mind lingers to slumber as I try to hide away from these bad thoughts and sleep where I'm not running away from everyone and everything.

I promised her that.

#lesbianism #wlw #sapphic #giselle x reader #giselle #aespa #toxic love #toxic people #enemies to lovers #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #slow burn #aeri uchinaga #⭑.ᐟ kira written #≽^•⩊•^≼#🧸 homo

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youllnevergrowold · 18 days

Text

Shout-out to @midnight-in-santa-carla! I saw your tags on that post (we all know the one) and thought why not? Here's some NSFW Michael and David for you, and I hope you enjoy. :)

Also on AO3

***

"I'm gonna get you for this, Emerson."

Under other circumstances, this might have been intimidating, but as it is, Michael is barely even impressed. Maybe it's the pitiful, frustrated whine that has taken the place of David's usual devil-may-care attitude that does it. Maybe it's that Michael has been working him over with hands and mouth for ages now and it's hardly the first time the threat has been issued that takes the sting out of it. Maybe it's that every time Michael thinks this is surely it, the moment when David finally goes over the edge, his eyes flash yellow and his fangs lengthen dangerously and yet there is never any release.

What Michael does know is that this is a lot more fun than he'd anticipated.

Blame it on Sam and those cheesy comics he'd left lying around. Michael had caught a glimpse of a panel featuring a cartoonishly frightened damsel in distress and a wizened old man assuring her in a cramped little speech bubble, "Don't worry, miss! Vampires can't come inside without permission!" And in his own defense, how was he not supposed to put it to the test?

David and the rest of the boys showed up after dark and it took some work to convince Marko, Paul, and Dwayne to head out without them, but Michael won in the end. David, on the other hand, needed almost no convincing to stay back and fool around, especially with the rest of the Emersons out of the house and out of their way. Michael played it cool, waiting until they were both half naked and half hard before he asked, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" David replied before leaning down to nip at Michael's neck. Not a serious bite, but enough to get his heart racing that much faster.

Michael unzipped David's fly and reached into his pants to wrap a hand around his cock. He let out a long sigh at the first touch but his breath hitched after only a few strokes, and Michael had to resist a self-satisfied smirk. "Can vampires come inside without permission?" he asked.

"You had to invite me in, didn't you?" He let Michael carry on for a bit, then drew back enough to narrow his eyes in suspicion. "Why?"

Michael pushed him back onto the bed then climbed after him. "You'll see."

There's no telling how long it's been since, and Michael has yet to get bored of this. David is past curses and threats and has finally started begging, but Michael isn't about to let him off the hook. After all the teasing and hazing and other bullshit, David has earned some payback, and Michael is more than happy to oblige.

It's about time that cocky bastard got what was coming to him.

Michael finally rolls onto his back and David takes the hint. A few moments to maneuver and then he's sinking deep, with one hand flat on the bed for balance and the other between their bodies stroking Michael in time to each thrust of his hips. Jesus, it's too good... Michael isn't going to last long like this...

"Michael," David says, the word raspy and breathless, "stop fucking with me, please, you gotta let me..."

He's almost there himself, right at the edge and ready to go over...

"Michael..."

He opens his mouth, the words right there on his lips--

The rumble of an old engine and the blare of an off-key horn horn cut him off.

Michael shoves David away with enough force he falls off the bed, landing with a loud thump and a shocked expletive. Ignoring him, Michael bolts to the window and peers through the blinds in a panic to see headlights pulling up the driveway. Grandpa is home early.

"Michael, what the fuck?" David demands, picking himself up off the floor and following to the window. "Who is that?"

Michael abandons the window and starts searching for discarded clothes. "You gotta get out of here," he says. "Hurry up, before someone sees you."

"Are you shitting me?" David catches the shirt Michael flings at him and puts it on, too distracted to notice it's inside out. "You're just gonna string me along all night and then kick me out before either of us gets to finish?"

"I didn't plan it that way," Michael insists, still throwing David's clothes at him. "And don't act like you didn't like it."

David grins midway through getting his pants back on. "You're right. I kinda did."

The door slams shut downstairs as they move to the window again. Michael eases it open slowly so it doesn't creak and gestures out into the night. "Go. I'll catch up with you later."

David steps onto the sill and pulls Michael in for one last kiss before giving him an impertinent pat on the cheek. "Next time I see you, you're in deep shit," he says.

"Next time I see you, I'll string you along even longer," Michael replies.

David smiles. Not his usual devilish, arrogant grin, but one of the rare, softer ones with more warmth and sincerity. "See you around, Michael." He steps out of the window and there's a rushing sound as he disappears into the night, and Michael stares after him before turning away to get dressed. Hopefully, Grandpa won't notice him sneaking out. If he dawdles, he'll never catch up, and he doesn't want to keep David waiting.

Well. Maybe not for too long.

#the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #david x michael #lost boys fanfiction

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peregrinvs · 7 months

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(The below is a show-only question.)

Iroh during Sozin's Comet said that he couldn't fight Ozai in part because the world would see it as brothers fighting for the throne, instead of the restoration of peace. But then he says that Zuko needs to confront Azula so that when Ozai falls, he can take the throne.

I can see the argument that Iroh thought that Zuko would secretly enter the Fire Nation Royal Palace and capture Azula with Katara before then holding her hostage until Aang arrived. But it seems more likely that he intended Zuko to fight Azula and her forces together with Katara.

So how do you think people in-universe saw the Agni Kai, and how do you think Iroh/the White Lotus justified his seemingly contradictory statements/actions? Also, do you think Zuko or the other members of the Gaang caught onto the contradictory, and if so, did they ever talk to Iroh and/or the White Lotus about it? Or if you think Ursa ever returned, did she confront Iroh about it?

Thanks for the ask!

The "Iroh v. Ozai final fight" question is kind of a mess. The showrunners didn't flesh out their relationship at all, to the point you can barely believe they're related. They made Ifoh a powerful firebender and a morally good person, whcih combined to his parentage puts him in position to stand up against Ozai.

And yet they absolutely needed for the final showdown to be Aang v. Ozai, which was needed thematically. They kinda painted themselves into a corner making Iroh the Designated Good Moral Upstanding Mentor Figure (tm) so they needed to find a good justification why this amazing man couldn't get rid of evil himself. Iroh needed an excuse that still made him look good so that's what they came up with.

Iroh's doalogue could have been better written to reflect that either he feels he lacks legitimacy to challenge Ozai, or to simply state that he doesn't want to kill his own brother, but with the way itwas handled on the show, we're left to speculate about his motives.

If you ask me, Iroh's real motive is that he's unlikely so win against Ozai and he knows it, so all he can do is hope the Avatar is OP enough to do it. However, he has such a high idea of Zuko that he's sure the kid can beat Azula in a duel, especially with Katara's help.

Thre's also the question of legitimacy: Iroh has previously accepted Ozai as Fire Lord and didn't object to being passed over when Ozai took the throne. It's a bit complicated for him to do a 180 now that Ozai has been reigning uncontested for years. On the other hand, Zuko has a valid claim to the throne because he is older than Azula, and he is in the right timeframe to challenge her before her coronation.

Finally, Iroh is a character who doesn't act much, even when faced with hard choices. That's because he's written as an older mentor figure, but it has the result of having him be passive and tend to let others fight his battles. He has never tried to stop Ozai, he was content playing shop while the war raged outside Ba Sing se. It's in character for him to just offload the hard work on the kids with some vague advice about destiny.

I very much doubt he intended for Zuko to peacefully capture Azula - he never expresses concern for her, and he clearly just sees her as a hindrance that stands in the way of Zuko's Destiny(tm). He probably doesn't intend for her to die, bur i doubt he cares how Zuko defeats her, as long as the kid ends up Fire Lord.

I don't see why the Gaang or the White Lotus would have any issues with that, since having Zuko as Fire Lord is beneficial to them.

Ultimately it's hard to give a convincing explanation because i'm sure the writers intended for him to have a good reason, but as is often the case woth Iroh, his actions and reasoning are at odds with how moral he's supposed to be.

NB: i have not watched the new live action version, this answer is based on the original animated show canon.

#anti iroh #iroh critical #anti order of the white lotus #avatar meta

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the-diabolist · 1 year

Text

Derek Goffard (N)SFW Alphabet

Hey look, I actually finished one. Too bad it's Derek.

A — Affection (How affectionate are they?)

uhhhh

I don't think he ever feels much genuine affection for anyone, but he can get away with artificial affection.

Under normal circumstances, he's mostly just mean. But if he's feeling insecure or sad or something, you become his emotional support animal.

This may lead to cuddling, hair stroking, and overall sticking to you like glue. He might even treat you like a therapist and unload some of his issues - not that you can do anything about them.

(He will refuse to acknowledge any of this later.)

Now, if you happen to have him wrapped around your finger? Then he's a little more consistently demonstrative.

Because he wants you to like him. He needs you to like him. You like him, right?

Oddly enough, the closer he feels to you, the less likely he is to open up. So he won't ask for that validation directly; he does it by being physically affectionate and gauging your reactions.

(If you're not receptive, he'll assume you're upset with him or something. If you reciprocate, it'll reassure him.)

In short: he can be affectionate, but it's for him, not you 😅

B — Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and of their partner’s)

There's nothing he doesn't like about himself physically 🙄

Well... other than the scars.

But that's why he covered them up with that baller tattoo!!

So, his back went from his least favorite to his most favorite. He's proud of it, from a reclamation standpoint, even if he does still jolt awake with phantom pain sometimes.

Give him a back massage if he's feeling particularly waspy - he'll simmer. Trace the ink and he'll go all relaxed and boneless. Kiss the scars and he's putty in your hands forever.

As for you, it's probably obvious - he likes your mouth.

He likes the way it feels against his own, or trailing over his skin, and how pretty it looks wrapped around him.

He likes how your lips look when you pout, or smile, or scowl, or scream. He likes how you bite them when you're nervous or excited. He likes the way they shape his name.

I hope you like expensive lipstick, because you're definitely getting some. He wants you to wear it while you blow him. He knows he'll enjoy it.

(What he doesn't expect is to get so turned on by the lip print you leave behind when you kiss him on the jaw the next day. The color, the shape - after he caught sight of it in the mirror, he'd made you give him more while he fucked you on the sink.)

Write him a little note (or better yet, a wish list) and sign it with a kiss. All his blood will rush south and he'll have to sit down.

C — Cuddling (Do they cuddle? How and when?)

He does! (For selfish reasons)

He’s likely to view you as a comfort item on rough days regardless of your status in his life, but if you’re anything more than just a toy to him, he’ll do it a lot more often and more gently.

If he’s stressed, upset, tired, sick – you name it, you’re his captive source of relief. That catharsis comes in many forms, some more violent than others, but cuddling is one of them. Especially if he’s feeling particularly wet and pathetic.

D — Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory; a dirty secret of theirs)

He'd never say this - I'm not sure he'd even admit it to himself - but he kinda craves a hard dom who'll just wreck him.

Try it sometime. Get him beneath you, plant your foot on his chest (or neck), and use your most authoritative voice to tell him you expect him to behave or you'll punish him.

He'll still scowl (it's knee-jerk), but that flush on his face isn't because he's angry. He's fronting; don't back down. I guarantee he's already rock hard.

Degrade him, order him around, hurt him (but not too much! He's a lightweight), tie him up, edge him until he's sobbing and begging. You'll have him whipped for life.

Don't get me wrong, he's still going to be super bratty about it - that is his natural state, after all - but taming him isn't too hard. He gets desperate fast.

Keep his leash short. It's what he deserves.

E — Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

The only effort he puts in is more or less accidental.

Which is to say: if he’s putting in work, it’s because he’s made things difficult for himself for no reason.

Could he just be nice to you? Show you he cares? Sure, in theory.

But instead, he’s mean until you’ve had enough of him, and then he has to fall all over himself trying to make it up to you so that you’ll speak to him again.

Occasionally he will make an effort seemingly spontaneously, but it’s just because he wants something from you, mark my words.

F — Favorite Position (Goes without saying. May include a visual)

I don't think he's picky, honestly.

When it's go time for him (which is frequent), he just kinda grabs you and gets down to business in whichever way is easiest.

So like... against the wall or on the edge of a surface (sink, table, counter) happens a lot, and bending you over things happens a lot.

But missionary/mating press on the floor or the bed or the couch probably happens the most.

(If I remember right, he's the only one in that game who does fuck you face up. Everybody else hits it from behind.)

Sometimes has you ride him. If you're the dominant one, that'll happen more often than not.

G — Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Can he afford gifts? Yes. Will you get any? ...Depends. I fully believe it's possible (though maybe not likely) to manipulate him into infatuation and get him wrapped around your finger, in which case he'll get you anything you ask for.

Or even if you can't whip him, you may be able to get him emotionally entangled enough that he'll bring you something now and again (if you've been good).

Normally, though? You're property, and property doesn't need gifts. He'll adorn you as he sees fit, meaning sometimes you'll get clothes or jewelry (it's mostly lingerie tbh), but they're not exactly gifts.

Either way, yeah, he's entitled af and expects your undying loyalty and complete obedience in return xD

H — Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

Similar to cudding, he will hug you if he needs a hug.

Will also do it as a precursor to sex. He thinks he’s sneaky and clever but it’s obvious.

More likely to enjoy it if you’re sitting in his lap, but it’ll still turn him on, so you’ll eventually end up in the same situation either way.

In front of his friends, unless it’s one of those days he’s trying to appear aloof, he’s either going to be hanging all over you or he wants you hanging all over him.

I — Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He does not know what intimacy means, nor can he even spell it.

Has no desire to be romantic. He will be occasionally, but only in the same way that a broken clock is right twice a day (meaning: accidentally).

As I’ve said, he’s more of a softy when he’s feeling depressed or anxious, at which time he might share his woes with you. Which I guess counts as some degree of intimacy, even if he’s just being whiny.

J — Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Ohhhh boy.

Listen. Despite all his bluster, this little brat is actually very insecure. So yeah, he gets very jealous very easily.

But that's not his fault (because nothing is ever his fault), so it must be your fault, right?

So get ready for him to make his jealousy your problem.

(Make no mistake, he'll definitely be a dick to any third parties who may or may not be inspiring the jealousy in the first place, but he likely won't do more than throwing attitude and snide comments.)

He's not going to win any prizes for sweetness or consideration at the best of times, but he's downright mean to you when he's feeling jealous. Like in a petty way.

He'll ignore you. Call you names. Trip you or bump into you so that you drop your drink. Tell you to go get his jacket from across the room and then insist that you keep looking when you can't find it (he didn't bring a jacket).

If you've never been bullied before, you're going to learn how it feels.

And worse - since it's rooted in insecurity and attachment issues, the only way to get this behavior to stop is to fawn all over him. Even though you've never wanted to fawn over him less than you do right now.

Cling to him, tell him all the ego-inflating things he loves to hear (he's so handsome, you absolutely adore him, can't get enough, he's so good to you, etc), drag him off somewhere and cater to his preference for physical affection.

Eventually he'll calm down and you can live your life (mostly) normally again.

K — Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Well we covered the lipstick thing already ;)

Blood kink - remember that improptu tongue piercing he gave you? Yeah. He's intrigued by period sex too, if that applies to you; he hasn't decided if he should give it a try or if it's too icky for him.

Sadomasochism - which role he's playing will depend on you. He defaults to sadism (physical and emotional/mental - he's a meanie), but if you're a rare breed and manage to dominate him (it's not that hard, actually), he's a very good masochist. His tolerance for degradation is much higher than his tolerance for physical pain, but he'll take both.

Edging - related to the above entry. He's a mean guy, and he'll delay or deny your orgasms for days at a time (if he can manage not to lose control, which... is hit or miss. Sometimes he just gets too into it and messes up). If you're domming, give him a taste of his own medicine - but he's not good at holding back, so he'll probably test your patience.

Begging/dacryphilia - another obvious one. Your tears turn him on and your begging feeds his ego; do both and you'll turn him into a minute man.

L — Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Honestly he's not picky.

He has no sense of shame and even less respect for consequences, so practically anywhere is fair game as far as he's concerned.

Won't necessarily go for it right out in the open, mostly just because you're his and he doesn't care to give random strangers a show. He gets jealous too easy.

Does enjoy the thrill of illicit behavior, though, so somewhere out in public but slightly hidden is his ideal.

Public restrooms, back row of the movie theater, in a parked car, etc.

Sneaks you into his room through a window, like a teenager, just for the fun of it :p

M — Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)

God, what doesn't? 🙄

Doing something "provocative" with your mouth -- could be anything, ranging from licking cheeto dust off your fingers to biting your lip to scowling. Double points if you're wearing lipstick.

Stoking his ego. Compliment his appearance, praise his intelligence, tell him how good he is at things. Double points if you give him doe-eyes while you're at it.

Depending on his role in your relationship, these things may also apply:

Shy, submissive behavior, especially if it adds an element of dubcon, like avoiding his gaze, shrinking away from him, getting tongue tied, gasping/whimpering when he touches you, etc.

And stuff that feeds his sadism, of course, like crying, begging, or screaming.

OR, if he's the submissive one: using a stern voice, degrading him, and being mean to him in general. Really likes it when you use him however you want and then kick him out. 😈

N — Night Out (What type of dates do they like to go on?)

Can he afford to take you to fancy places? Yes.

Does he take you to fancy places? Nope.

Nothing educational or "high-brow," either, like the planetarium or zoo.

He prefers simple, straightforward, entertaining things like going to a movie/sports game, or an arcade.

He'll definitely try to get you into paintball.

Probably also parties with "friends" in clubs or whatever.

Dates with him can be fun and eventful, but also kinda exhausting!

O — Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

I'm sorry but.... not only is he not very inclined to service you this way, he's also not very good at it when he does.

You're pretty sure he knows what to do, but he half-asses it because he'd rather switch places with you 🙄

He’ll happily be on the receiving end all day long. He adores your mouth, after all, and is even fonder of things being all about him.

(Don’t let him tell you he’ll return the favor if you go down on him. He’s a liar. Make him reciprocate up front or you’ll get nothing.)

Does slightly better in a 69 situation, but only if you pace yourself so that he has incentive to do a good job. If he climaxes before you, it’s all over.

A bully, and mean about it. Likes the whiny, reluctant noises you make. Maybe you don’t want him down there after all 😑

Silver lining: he’s actually pretty good with his fingers. Ask him to do that instead.

P — Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc)

Fast and rough almost every time.

Has no patience, plus he can go several times in quick succession, so he sees no reason to slow down.

And why would he bother being gentle with you? He’s such a big fan of the sights and sounds of you being ravaged by him.

As far as he’s concerned, if you aren’t begging him to slow down, he’s not doing it right.

Q — Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex. And if they happen, how often?)

As long as he gets off, he honestly doesn’t care.

Yeah, longer sessions give him more time to play with you, but also… he comes fast (and then maybe a couple more times – his refractory period is short), and then he’s tired.

His drive is high, too, but he doesn’t always have a lot of time.

So… quickies are probably the norm, unfortunately xD

R — Risk (Are they down to experiment? Do they take risks?)

He’s down for – and, in fact, pushing for – any risks that don’t involve possible pregnancy.

He wants to try practically everything he’s ever seen, or heard of, or imagined.

This includes positions, kinks, toys, maneuvers… anything he thinks might be fun to do to you, whether you show any enthusiasm or not.

S — Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

At first, he probably doesn't. He has his own big fancy bed, why would he deign to sleep in yours?

Maybe he'd occasionally decide he's too sleepy after sex to go back to his own room and he'll stay over, but don't expect him to cuddle, and he's leaving as soon as he wakes back up (and he's going to hog the blankets for sure).

If you do manage to get him deluded into thinking your relationship is more like a normal one, though, he might start to see you more as a source of comfort and seek you out when he's feeling vulnerable.

He might decide to stay the night with you if his father has been particularly terrible to him that day. You might wake up to him sliding in beside you in the middle of the night after he's had a bad dream, or if he's been restless and unable to sleep.

(He's almost cute like that, but don't be fooled -- he still hogs the blankets.)

T — Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

He doesn’t trust you and he doesn’t not trust you.

He does worry (or know) you’d leave him if given the chance, but he makes sure to deny you that option, so it doesn’t really matter.

If you’re close, he does trust you somewhat – to keep his secrets, be on his side, etc.

U — Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

Oh jesus christ

Unfair is practically his middle name.

If he can find a method to tease you that 1. torments you mercilessly, probably leaving you with zero satisfaction and 2. still gets him off, he will abuse it until long after you’re sobbing.

Anytime you get what you want, rest assured that it’s merely a side effect to him getting what he wants.

To his credit, though, at least turnabout is fair play – if you’re the dominant one, this is exactly how he wants you to treat him.

V — Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

It's nigh impossible to ever get him to shut his (whore) mouth, and the bedroom is no exception.

He usually starts with well-controlled - though mean - dirty talk, mostly of a derogatory nature.

Then it'll turn more into babbling centered on how good you feel.

Eventually he'll devolve into breathless moans, and he won't last much longer after that :)

W — Wild Card (A random headcanon)

I think he’d be really into any piercings you may have. His favorites would be tongue or genital piercings.

As a matter of fact, if you don't already have a genital piercing, he might just decide to give you one, and then get you jewelry with a scorpion on it.

Basically a "property of Derek" stamp for your naughty parts 😒

He’d probably want to do the same thing to your tongue/lip, too.

X — X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He is probably the one who injured you xD

If you're just a toy to him, he won't care beyond wanting to keep you in working order.

If he actually cares about you to some degree, he'll still pretend not to care - up to a point, anyway.

For something mild, he'll just make fun of you for being a wimp.

If it's moderate, he'll also make fun of you, but at least he patches you up/helps you get around.

If it's severe... he'll definitely panic. Freaking out may include: yelling, being too rough with you (accidentally), fumbling everything he tries to grab, and possibly crying.

Like, he'll get you the help you need, but it's gonna be stressful.

Y — Yuck (Any pet peeves about their s/o? Do they have any habits that might bother their s/o?)

He’s fussy. He’ll probably complain about literally anything, even things that he actually finds attractive, because he’s a grade A buttface.

He doesn’t like it if you pay attention to other guys (or girls, if you’re attracted to them too), or if you don’t take him seriously – even when he’s throwing a tantrum and being unreasonable.

(He always wants sincere and unwavering attention from his chosen Comfort Item, and anytime he doesn’t get that, he’s going to be upset.)

As for you, I mean… take your pick of his awful attributes.

The emotional instability, the unreasonable demands, his spoiled rotten attitude – the list goes on!

Also he bites his nails and chews with his mouth open, because I said so.

Z — Zeal (Are they passionate? Do they like passion?)

Lack of self-control, passion, call it what you want 😊

He gets worked up into a frenzy pretty easily, which is pretty much the same?

As for whether he likes passion, it’ll depend on your relationship dynamic.

If you’re just a toy, then no. He wants fear, not passion. If you’re more like a couple, then sure, he won’t complain.

A better complement to him is probably someone cool and collected, though. If you’re domming, I recommend taking that route.

#already had like a dozen of them written. Figured I might as well finish it #the price of flesh #alphabet mashup #rune writes fanfic #derek goffard #tpof derek

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xxchthonicreaturexx · 14 days

Text

Matchup Trade w/ @lapsthings

Hey hey :) Here's your Blue Lock match! I will say, I'm not caught up with the manga, so my selection was limited to the series, but I hope you like who I chose!

Blue Lock

So- It was so easy to chose and yet SO HARD. Like what- First of all, you are basically just genderbent slightly better Nagi. You two would clash and be too alike relationship wise so I tossed him in the trash. And then I didn't want to necessarily choose Reo because that seemed like the next best thing but your runner up, just had a few less pros than Reo did.

SO- let's start out with what's obvious. Reo knows how to work with Nagi? He knows how to work with you. You're feeling lazy today and don't wanna do anything? That's fine! He has no problem working for you today, just dont wear him down too much! He'll even pick up your room for you for a quick smooch.

You're having trouble putting something into words? He's patient. And smart! He'll play charades or something if that helps. He actually gets good at it after a while. Like how the Wanima twins communicate? Where Keisuke translates for Junichi- that's lowkey you guys after a while. Just feeling a bit cloudy and wanna space out? He'll gently hold your arm and lead you around or let you lean on him while he studies or something.

You see, what caught him was how quiet you were. His whole thing was wanting things he had to work for. Just like Nagi, he had to work to get you. You were shy, and that meant he'd have to put in effort to continue the conversation, get you to open up, he had to work hard to make your eyes light up even for a moment!

Don't worry about continuing the conversation, he get's it. And though he'll probably run out of things to say, comfortable silence doesnt bother him like it may others. Plus, if Nagi is with you guys, im sure he can also contribute to the conversation if he's not asleep or playing a game.

Oh and those figures? He'll buy you both and then a third. Maybe a fourth or seventh...Hey, he gets an allowance for a reason, right? Plus whats a few gifts when he wants to keep you around for himself? He was raised wealthy, so habitually, he believes gifts equal love and affection. Sometimes he can get carried away, but it's how he shows his feelings towards you.

It even bleeds into clothing. Oh, you like wearing comfy clothes?....Here's some idfk- gucci sweatpants (is that a thing??) Oh this? This is an oversized cashmere sweater. He totally pretended like it was an old one of his and was just giving it to you, but he missed one of the price tags in the sleeve- Your style? It's now the equivalent to BlingH20 Dogwater instead of regular slobbery tap water.

He's kinda a jealous and possessive guy even if he doesn't seem like it at first, so he definitely pays good attention to your interests and dislikes. Remembers things you don't even remember telling him probably.

Overall: 9/10. He's a real good guy for the long run. Attentive, hardworking, and wealthy. Only issue would be the jealously. Lowkey abandonment issues- once he's worked to have you he can't afford to lose you. Otherwise, he's a sweetie!

Runnerup: Yoichi Isagi

Thank youuu I hope you enjoyed!!

#request #matchup trade #matchups #blue lock

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bktrashcat · 5 months

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hi, sorry to just write out of the blue but did you write "knock me down" on ao3? (or not on ao3, because I now cannot find it anymore) I downloaded this to my eReader a few days ago and started despite the note that it would likely never be completed. I'm not fully caught up yet but it did plunge me into an almost inescapable hyperfocus last night, I had to force myself to stop reading at 2am knowing I had work the next day 😅 .... so obviously, I have no idea what, if any, drama has been haunting this fic (based on your initial notes and it now having disappeared I'm sensing you weren't happy with it for some reason?), so apologies if I'm unaware of anything here. I really only wanted to say that I'm enjoying it so much, it's so incredibly well written, I'm sure I'll be a bit sad once I read the end of the last published chapter but I could tell immediately when I started that it would be worth just reading what was there, it's absolutely wonderful. so even if you never finish it and I can't comment on it on ao3, I just wanted to throw all the kudos at you, it's truly top shelf and I'm so glad I had the chance to read the published chapters. <3 also, if I got the wrong person and you did not in fact write that fic, please excuse this wildly confusing ask and proceed as usual. 😂

Oh, goodness! I was hoping no one would notice that little bit of bad brain anxiety, but yes that was me! I posted "Knock Me Down" over a year ago, I think, and had a hard time writing it then.

I deleted it and got a couple of questions about it, so I decided to rewrite it and repost it, but that wasn't working, either. There were some parts that I really liked and some parts that I just couldn't connect to. I couldn't quite get the tone that I wanted, which was one issue for me.

I appreciate this comment a lot! This is very kind, and I really am happy you have this fic and enjoy it. If I ever repost it, it will be when I've finished rewriting the entire thing, and then I'll just put up all of the chapters at once. However, I wouldn't expect that.

I do think the fic I'm working on now might be my last fic for a while. I feel bad that I keep pulling that one down--I have no idea what it would take to get that story to work for me--but if anyone ever wants it, I'm happy to send a PDF.

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still-a-morosexual-help · 2 years

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i just hope the original obm isn't forgotten in the process, what with all the new charas coming in and the development and lore of the original LIs itself being forgotten. well yes, this can be a means FOR it to work out but for some reason i can also imagine how it can end badly. guess it's just my pessimistic brain after all the disappointment i've had to experience (yet i still adore this game to pieces).

Me, who has genuinely enjoyed the main storyline so far: 😀

Like I understand people having genuine problems with the game or story or whatever but (and I've said this before) real life is hard and anxiety inducing and I'm just here to have the occassional escape from it. I don't want to be pessimistic and trigger my anxiety about things that haven't happened yet in the place I come to get away from it all.

God I've taken an antihistamine so my brain's fuzzy and groggy and words are really hard and it tooke three tries to be able to spell groggy so this might not make sense

There are actually no parts in the main storyline that I have any big issue with, I liked how season 4 focused more on the side characters while still having the main characters be involved in the story and showing off parts of their personalities as well (Lucifer being protective of Simeon and soft and sympathetic to MC, Mammon being serious about what happened to Simeon and immediately picking out Michael as the one who had done something, Asmo's entire trauma, Satan's entire trauma, Belphie trying to take something seriously and work hard for once - I have long posts about three of these but I'm too out of it to find them sorry) in my opinion they did a good job balancing it out. Though there are some events I didn't care for (the ones that jump from MC spending one chapter with each of the characters without having a real story)

But even if there was something I disliked I don't want to get stuck on it? Like I'm here ti have fun and not think about shit that pisses me off so why would I get pissed off at the game that does that yknow

Whatever happens happens yknow. 's not like you can change it so why get caught up in the details? This is one of those things where you can go with the flow and have fun and not worry about what'll happen in the future because in the end it's a game and fandom's always there to catch ya if the game disappoints

I understand if you have valid concerns or criticisms but that just ain't it for me, that is absolutely not what I'm here for

I don't know how to explain it but I don't mind discussing harder topics or things that annoy me (the whole thing when Thirteen was first introduced or the people who think Mammon steals from MC) because they're sort of outside the game (which said Thirteen is a character whether you like it or not and said as early as in Lesson 4 that Mammon doesn't steal from MC) if that makes sense? Because those things come from fandom and after discussing those things on my blog I can choose not to interact with those parts of fandom

But when it comes to parts of the game that piss me off I can't block it out so;

I'm sure there are huge parts of the fandom that feels seriously let down for valid reasons but if I felt that way I wouldn't be here? If there was a part of the game I genuinely disliked or was disappointed in - something that made me unhappy - I wouldn't be playing it because it's no fun if the place I go to get away from all those negative feelings gives me the very same negative feelings

Also, I can't speculate what the new game will be like at all and what it will do to the original, but I don't see it replicating chat, devilgram or the forward moving main storyline in the same way?

Does any of this make sense or am i just babbling rn?

Basically what I'm trying to say is, everything has pros and cons. Unfortunately I'm not here to focus on any of the cons. I'm pessimistic abojt change/scared of change enough in my real life that if I was the same here regarding things about om! or any game/movie/show/book i was interested in then i'd be miserable and it would defeat the purpose of being interested in om! (or anything else) in the first place

I feel like i repeated the same simple.poing over and over again becaise im not sure which time properly explained what I was trying to say and I couldn"t be bothered to read it all again so sorry and I'm still not sure if I said what I wanted to say? What should have been one paragraph someone became like 5 paragraphs sorry

Sorry anon I have no real insight to what you're saying other than whatever this is im gonna pass out now

#let me live in my bubble of happy ignorance pls and thank you #asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #swd obey me!#shall we date obey me

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squibbles-gubwee · 1 year

Text

Hey! I cot a commission from @artsyfartsybro for a Rook x Leon oneshot and was kind enough to say i could post it!

Warnings: Cursing, mild sexual themes (No actual sex or nudity, does include grinding/sorta frottage) , talk of amputated limbs.

Without further ado:

Punch Drunk

•••••••••••

Sugary lemon lime tingled on his tongue, sparkling with hints of grapefruit. The carbonated drink fizzed against his lips, and the cold of the aluminum can felt pleasant in his warm palm. Drips of condensation slowly creeped and dripped off the drink, a few errant drops streaking up Rook's wrist.

The whole gala was dimly lit, with streamers of softly glowing and flashing lights strung up between tall pillars and high walls. The floor was a glossy wood that was flooded with yokai of all kinds, mingling, dancing, eating, laughing…

Rook's eye itched. He didn't dare rub it though.

The man instead took another sip of his soda, eyes sweeping the crowd of guests, watching the security guards posted up everywhere. He didn't get why he had to be part of everything, but he supposed if the turtles needed his help, it was the least he could do for saving the world. And honestly, he had such a hard time denying them, especially if Raph started giving the big puppy eyes.

Do not. Itch. Your eyes.

Rook blinked hard, trying to prevent messing with his contact lenses. He couldn't see better out of them, they were purely cosmetic to help him blend in with the Yokai crowd with their gold color. He needed to stay hidden amongst the various shaped bodies. He felt far too normal yet not at all. Odd one out in a sea of oddities. He hoped the kids were doing okay.

Ping!

The Aegean haired man pulled his phone out as he sipped his sparkling water.

[You stick out like a sore thumb.]

Glaring, Rook whipped his head up and looked around before spotting Leon, snickering with a few river otter yokai, laughing as he typed something on his phone.

Ping!

[You're acting like a wallflower, get over yourself.]

Oooh ho ho ho. Rook felt his face get red as he shot a message back.

[It's not like movies, you know. I won't be ousted for leaning against a wall because I need to cool off. There's so many ppl literally doin the same.]

….He defended himself too much. Way too much.

Rolling his eyes, Rook went back to looking over the crowd. He took another sip of his drink, and thought quietly about when he should jump in the fray and start mingling more. Which he normally, y'know wouldn't HAVE to worry about, except today his leg was being particularly Bitchy. It ached something fierce, from shin to hip.

Must be a pressure system coming in.

"Excuse me. Is this wall taken?"

Rook stiffened and looked over, noting the toad yokai who just walked up. He shook his head, scooting over a bit to make more room available to the amphibious woman. "No! Sorry, I can leave-"

"No need! I just need a break. Carbuncles are always so chatty. Good fun, but I need time away from them, you know?"

Humming a noncommittal reply, Rook turned his face away, making sure to avoid showing too many features to the stranger. "Mh, yeah."

"Are you having fun at the party?"

"Huh? Yeah! Yeah, I am, I'm just, y'know. I'm waiting for a bit, having a rest before I jump in to go dancing?"

Rook gave a charming grin, masking his anxiousness. He knew how to rub elbows. He went to plenty of parties and shindigs. It was just the talking he was bad at.

…he should go get some food. Yeah, yeah that-

"Oh! You intend on dancing with your friend?"

"Hm?"

"The kappa who keeps looking your way. Is…Is he not, or…?"

You have to be fucking kidding-

Rook scrunched his nose in confusion and whipped his head around, catching Leon just as he went back to chatting up the Kawauso. Definitely caught staring. The human sighed and looked back at the toad yokai.

"He's my uh, boyfriend actually."

"And he is not with you?"

Shaking his head, the navy haired man waved her concern off. "He's chattier and knows I have issues mingling. He can do what he wants. He thinks I'm lame. Pun not intended."

The toad woman looked back and forth between the two, before puffing herself up some. "Well! How about we show him, hm? You mentioned dancing, care to join me for one?"

Rook looked up. He glanced over at Leon, showing off a slight of hand trick that had several of the otters gasping and a few itachi nearby to stare in awe.

"Mustelids, tch…you can totally see the card."

Rook turned red and looked back at the toad once more. "Ah, sorry I…Well, I'm down, just be mindful of my leg-"

"Great!! Come on, there's a song with a good beat on!"

And soon he was whisked away, led like a stray dog right into the den of lions. The toad had taken his drink, putting it on a table and dragging him away. Swallowing nervously, Rook allowed himself to be pulled along, the toad's grip firm and eager as she led him onto the coloured floor.

This was a trap. This was a trap and you were so fucking stupid. She knows. She SO knows you're human and she is going to reveal it right now, or get security to throw you out. Or better yet? In fucking yokai jail. Yeah. Yeah good for you you jeopardized the whole mission and-

They were dancing.

Rook blinked as he continued to box step, finding the music and movements wholly taking him as he flowed through dance moves and step routines he remembered from years passed.

Right, left, twist, left, right, twist, right back, left back, left forward, right forward, Left, Right, left, right.

…Rook grinned, grabbing slightly webbed hands, and the toad woman squealed and croaked a laugh as he spun her into a rumba, mindful not to crush any toes with his prosthetic foot. The music was quick, so he kept his pace up, weaving steps through the lit tile dancefloor.

He was having a blast. Teasingly, he sashayed his hips some and the yokai laughed before taking a dramatic pose and pulling out all the stops. They two danced chaotically, playfully, freely.

Leon couldn't help but stare.

His hand clenched. Unclenched. His eyes bore into the two, entirely disregarding the group of kawauso he had been entertaining. One whined as she tried to grab his attention, wanting to see another trick.

"Dude, just like, go talk to him already. You've been eyeing him all night. Live your shitty high school prom romance movie moment."

Leon whipped his head back around, laughing and waving the woman off. "No, no, it's fine! It's all good-"

"Oh no," a particularly dark-furred otter hummed. "You got it bad. What, is he your friend you never told you liked him? You've been texting him all night-"

"He's my boyfriend," the terrapin huffed.

The gravelly bark of a laugh came from the yokai. "You haven't been acting like it. You might go cut in before that Ōgama can get her warty hands on him!"

Leon frowned, his muzzle scrunched some. He wasn't…worried about something like that, but… well, the two were drawing attention. He and Rook were supposed to keep a low profile.

Steeling himself, the red-eared slider slipped away to the dancefloor, slinking between bodies in search of the human. Once close enough, he fell into rhythm and easily gravitated closer, before sidling up close to the two.

"Mind if I cut in, guapo?"

Rook's eyes narrowed.

Yes. Yes he did mind. Leon didn't get to just… just decide when Rook was having a nice time that he could now cut in. Not when he wouldn't be near the man earlier, claiming that he was going to "cramp his style".

Please. Rook didn't need him.

The toad woman chuckled, and Rook felt her loosen her grip, only for the man to squish her hands and lead her into a tango, ignoring Leon. His shoulder was cold to the lowest degree, and it left the amphibious reptile in shock as the two danced away. He swore he saw Rook turn his nose up and away, even, as he spun the bewildered toad out and back in.

Oh.

Really now? That was how the therapist was going to act?

Glaring, he watched Rook dance for some time more, the human commanding the room with how he moved on the floor. He had to admit, Donatello did great work on the prosthesis. It seemed to really help, and it was quite flexible.

However, after two, three more songs…

Rook stumbled. Figuratively and literally. Leon caught him wincing and at one point, Leon feared his knee was giving out as he awkwardly caught himself from falling, playing it off like a dip.

Leon brushed past several people, and this time cut in by simply grabbing the human's hands.

"Sorry miss, but I need to steal my boyfriend."

"Like hell you do."

"Oh! Here you are, have fun!"

Oooh, the look the mutant got as the amphibian ran off was utterly livid.

"Can I help you?"

The mutant ignored the petulant tone and slowed their steps, swirling here, there, flowing and weaving to the edge of the crowd. At one point, there was a soft gasp from the human and he stumbled again, so he was swept up and spun, until the two of them were off the dancefloor and the Hamato was dragging him down a hall.

"Let- dammit, Leon! This is getting more attention! Let go-"

Rook was slammed against a wall, teeth clacking, and the terrapin had him trapped between an arm and a corner.

"What the fuck was that, hm?"

"What, you weren't doing me any favors. I made a friend and went to have fun."

Green thumb and forefinger flicked him in his head. "Fucker. I'm talking about the attitude- we're on a mission! You, and that stunt, got a lot of attention."

The human rolled his faux gold eyes. "I'm sorry, is the mutant turtle from the apocalypse telling me what parties are like? Leon, no one actually cares. In fact, even if I had eyes on me, they're not going to assume it's suspicious to actively seek out the limelight. It's a party. YOU acted suspicious when you stole me away like that. It wasn't- you just leave! You don't try to ease out all sneaky like that. That was weird!"

"Mm, yeah. That. Don't think I didn't catch what was happening." The medic glared. "You were also overdoing it. You needed to stop if your prosthesis was hurting that bad."

Rook became red. "It- it wasn't my prosthesis-"

"REALLY? Because I watched you almost fall into a group of fire spirits. I bet they would so listen to whatever fucking excuse you have."

"Leon-"

A thick finger pressed to his sternum. "If you can't take this mission seriously, you shouldn't be here. Not only are you pulling some petty shit back there, but not taking care of yourself is a pretty big no-no. You should have stopped the moment your prosthesis started fucking hurting. But no! No, you had to go do this prideful 'I don't need you telling me what to do' shit! You nearly compromised us! You could have caused the whole mission to fold!" Huffing, the mutant crossed his arms. "What, if it was me are you going to act like you wouldn't jump down my throat?!"

"No! Yes?! Leon, it's fine-"

"No! No it's not! You could damage the port! Or your nerves! You could have caused irreparable damage, you know this!! So why did you think it was okay?!"

"BECAUSE IT WASN'T THE FUCKING MISSING ONE, ITS THE STILL HERE ONE THATS HURTING!!"

Leon stared quietly, but Rook barreled ahead, fire licking in his eyes.

"I'M SORRY I DIDN'T STOP HAVING A FUN TIME! SORRY I ENJOYED MYSELF DOING MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING. WHEN AM I EVER GOING TO DANCE LIKE THIS AGAIN?! NEVER!"

Under normal circumstances, Rook would probably be emotional and start crying, but he was just too heated right now that they wouldn't come. Instead, a sticky, muggy anger clung to his skin and refused to let go.

His leg was shot for the rest of the night, but he didn't care.

"I-"

"NO! NO, IT'S MY TURN. You wouldn't listen so I won't either! I get it. You don't want to hang out with me because I cramp your style or whatever. But you don't get to be mad at me when I have fun!"

"When it hurts-"

"IT ALWAYS FUCKING HURTS! IT JUST SOMETIMES HURTS LESS THAN NORMAL!" Rook hated screaming. He hated it so much. "I have more metal in my stupid fucking flesh and blood leg than the prosthesis. It hurts. Always! And if I let that keep me in bed, I'd be riddled with sores and wounds. I will not quit doing stuff I love because it hurts me."

"There's a balance!" Leon chided, cupping his face and staring into those glossy aurum eyes. "You can't overstrain yourself, you know thi-"

"I WOULD RATHER DANCE TIL THIS PINS AND RODS PIECE OF SHIT ROTS THAN BE MISERABLE," Rook howled, cold fire in his lungs and salt in his eyes. "I REFUSE TO LAY AWAKE AT NIGHT, WISHING I HAD ONE MORE DANCE, ONE MORE TIME TO HAVE FUN, ONE MORE-"

Leon smashed his mouth against the other, and despite the few hits to the plastron or arm, he kept kissing. Teeth scraped and clashed, and Rook was all fury as he kissed back. Nails scraped against the back of the mutant's head and shoulders, making him churr deep in his chest. Rook slotted a knee between his legs, and Leon couldn't help but grind against it.

The two broke away in heavy, hot breaths.

"You're insufferable," hissed Rook.

"Bite me."

Leon yelped and moaned as the human dud just that, teeth sinking into the meat of his neck juncture. The two then began angrily making out once more, tongues swiping at one another between bites and nips to lips and jaws.

"The contacts are pretty, but I much prefer your real eyes."

"Oh, please."

"Pft, don't you know? I've been wanting to do this all fucking night." Leon growled, voice husky and a bit gravelly. A three-fingered hand slipped down the back of Rook's slacks and palmed his ass. "Just drag you into a hall or closet, have you all to myself and-"

The two flinched as Leon's phone beeped loudly. The ninja pulled the device out and answered, only-

"WE ARE TRYING TO DO A RECONNAISSANCE MISSION, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Donatello screeched, making them flinch. Out of the corner of his eye, Leon could see a camera not far away, pointed right at them.

Oh boyyy…

The adults both winced, Leon shifting his collar to hide a bite mark and Rook looking away, face red.

"Ah, 'Tello! Uh, we were-"

"QUIT DRY HUMPING YOUR BOYFRIEND AND GET BACK TO WORK, NARDS!!"

Nothing more was said, and the call ended. Quickly, their clothing was sorted out and fixed. Rook stared down.

The duo shuffled out of the hallway, keeping a foot's distance between each other. Neither one would look at the other, and Leon watched as Rook limped to the tables to have a seat, successfully cowed.

Right.

Back to work.

#rottmnt #ocs #omwf #once more with feeling #future leo #future leonardo #future leo x male oc #peepaw leo #omwf rook #omwf au

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cannibalcoyote · 2 years

Text

Jack Celliers: Sadie

Imagine your husband(Jack) finds you in the POW camp:

I've been here for so long that the beatings don't seem to hurt anymore. It's like I'm not quite in my body anymore, instead I'm watching it, almost as though I'm just an onlooker.

I don't know how I managed to get here, all I know is that I tricked my military into thinking I was a man, and next thing you know I'm out here fighting a war, only to be caught. My trial was short, I was nearly sentenced to death, but by a stroke of luck I was detained as a prisoner of war. That's not to say that I feel lucky, most definitely not, you have no idea how hard it is to hide being a female when you are a prisoner.

I've lost so much weight that I no longer have my period, so that is a big help, but I also know that this quick weight loss is incredibly unhealthy. Now the only issues I have include hiding the fact that I wrap my chest, as well as making sure that I consistently lower my tone.

I don't socialize too much with the other soldiers, I barely even talk to Lawrence, and the only reason I do is because he goes out of his way to initiate conversations with me. I think he has assumptions about my true identity, he does have quite the analytical mind, and I would have to be an award winning actress to pull the wool over his eyes; but as of yet he has made no mention of this towards me, my only evidence being the cautious glances as well as a sudden protective nature.

_______

I can't say for sure how long I've been here, but I know it's been at least a couple of months now. I've gotten closer with Lawrence, no longer minding our occasional chats. I seem to be the preferred punching bag for the guards, so I told Lawrence early on, that should anything ever happen to me, I want only him to treat me; I don't care how bad my injuries are, only he is allowed to treat me.

This is the third time this week I've ended up in our makeshift hospital, no one but Lawrence will even come near me in fear that my bad luck might rub off on them. I'm more than sure Lawrence knows I'm a woman, but he still hasn't said a thing about it to me.

All I know is that I can trust him... I hope.

_______

Lawrence's POV:

Bailey Stevens... quite a good soldier from what I remember, but I barely know him really, or should I say 'her'; because I obviously know that this soldier is a woman, and I suspect that she knows of my assumptions.

She's extremely reserved, which is expected from everything she's been put through; the guards here seem to love beating on her. I'm not sure whether it's due to her being physically smaller than everyone, or because she has an intrinsic need to act; probably both.

I can't help but feel a need to protect her, she's like the rebellious sister I never had. I can't allow the Japanese - or anyone for that matter - to figure out that she is a woman. Who knows what they would do to her.

_______

She's been unconscious for a couple of days now, only having brief periods of consciousness where she might drink some water, or says 'hello' before going back under. I don't know what to do anymore, I've told our doctor everything, and I've done everything he's told me to do, but she still sleeps the days away.

To add on, I've got another friend here now, Maj. Jack Celliers, another determined soldier who was born to act. I know I'll have my hands full with these two when they both get back on their feet.

It's late into the night when her form begins to stir, I quickly sit up, wondering if today will be the day her strength returns. I must admit that I've missed her rebellious spirit, though I also fear how she will react to having possibly lost sight in her right eye.

Her eye flutters open, wandering around the rundown building before focusing on me. She tugs the covers tightly against her chest, and I can see the underlying fear emanating from within her gaze, I can only offer her a soft smile to try and calm her down.

"I know Bailey... I know. No need to worry, your secret is safe with me." My tone is gentle and friendly, and I can see her body losing the tension that had been building. Releasing a quiet sigh before bringing a hand up to her face, gently running her fingers over the gauze covering her right eye. I feel my body slightly go rigid as she looks to me for an explanation.

"Bailey, during your last beating... you were struck quite a few times to the head... It caught you right in the eye. We're not sure whether you'll have sight in it when it's healed...I'm sorry."

_______

Bailey Stevens' POV:

My chest tightens at the explanation, knowing you might lose sight in one of your eyes is an incredibly scary thing to be told. Especially in a place like this where surviving is already hard. I raise my gaze to Lawrence and see the sadness in his eyes, he looks ashamed of telling me about my injuries, almost as if feeling at fault.

I reach out my left hand, softly resting it atop his.

"It's alright, it's not your fault." I offer him a gentle smile as he gives me his own. Our moment is interrupted by the groaning of another person, I look to him in question as to who it is. He responds with another smile before shaking his head.

"That's another troublemaker quite like yourself, Bailey." His voice contains a sad humor in it, one that makes me want to laugh and frown at the same time.

"What's his name?" My voice is a whisper, but I have switched to my normal tone, it feels refreshing not having to hide who I am.

"That would be Jack Celliers. He quite reminds me of you actually, almost ironically." His tone once again holds that same gloomy humor. I however feel my eyes widen in shock as I hear his name, my heart rate increasing at the thought of it being my Jack Celliers.

"Jack Celliers?" My voice holds confusion as well as surprise, I never thought I would see him again until the war ended, that or in heaven. When he left for the war, I knew he might never return, so I put on my disguise and rolled the dice. It's been so long that I thought I might never see him again, but here we both are, stuck in the same POW camp.

"Yes.... Do you know him?" Lawrence looks confused at first, but upon seeing the worry on my face, he quickly contorts into a knowing gaze; a small smirk grazing his features at my lack of response.

"Ahh, so you do know him." His voice raises above a whisper slightly, and I quickly shush him, not wanting anyone to wake up and hear our conversation.

"Yes... Yes, I do know him. Is he alright? What's happened to him? Is he going to be oka-"

"Slow down there Bailey... When he arrived his condition was just as bad as yours, but the doctors say he's recovering quite well and will be good as new soon." My whole body relaxes at hearing he's getting better and will be alright. As I lean back, a strong sense of sleepiness rushes over me, that and the pain of my beatings; but I've never fought harder in my life to keep my eyes open, I know Lawrence can tell I'm struggling.

"Is there anything you might want me to tell him should he wake up before you?" He speaks quickly, wanting to give me enough time to respond before I lose consciousness.

"Tell him.. tell him Sadie says 'hi'." You can practically hear my smile as I tell him to use my real name. He also gives me a smile, and that's the last thing I see before darkness consumes my vision once more.

_______

Lawrence's POV:

Sadie, what an oddly fitting name for the girl who acts to survive.

I quietly walk over to Jack's bed to see if he's is awake. I'm not sure this is the best time to tell him, but at the same time, who am I to withhold this information.

As I reach his secluded sleeping arrangement, I watch as he turns slightly, his eyes fluttering open. Recognition flows through them as we look at each other.

"Hello Jack."

"Lawrence." His voice is gravely, and I can tell his body is exhausted. I slowly sit on the bed beside his own, rubbing my hands together in thought. He looks at me as he awaits what I am clearly contemplating saying.

"Jack... Is there the possibility that you know someone named Sadie?" My voice is hesitant as I speak, but the look of recognition over hearing her name immediately tells me everything I need to know. He carefully nods his head, his eyes now fixed on me with a new sense of focus.

"I only ask because another soldier recognized your name and asked me to tell you 'hello'." I can see the confusion swirl in his mind as to how another soldier knew your name, or why they would ask me to say 'hello'.

"Jack... That soldier is a woman, who goes by the name of Sadie, and claims to know you. Is there something I should know?" When he hears that the said soldier is a woman, his body jolts forward, not only in shock, but concern as well. I don't know their past, but the way they react to hearing about each other tells me they are much more than friends.

"I have to see her." Jack gasps, hurriedly stumbling to get out of his bed. I immediately rush forward, providing support for him as he attempts to stand.

"Are you sure about doing this right now? How about in the morni-"

"No, I need to see her. NOW." He doesn't raise his voice at all throughout his sentence, but the way he speaks is with such conviction, such certainty and determination that I know there will be no talking him out of this. I hesitantly nod my head, helping him walk over to her own secluded sleeping area, carefully setting him down on the bed beside hers.

He just sits there, staring longingly at her unconscious form. He looks sad, depressed even, at the sight of her. His hand slowly reaches out, softly gliding his fingers over the rough gauze that covers the right half of her face.

"How... What happened?" His tone exudes concern, but his face remains stoic.

"She tried to stop the guards from harming another soldier, I suppose you could say she got their attention." My sentence is formatted in a humorous way, but my tone remains serious. She nearly died from this, I don't find anything about that to be funny.

Jack sat there for a few more moments, just silently thinking to himself as his fingers continuously drift along the gauze.

"Will she be alright?" His tone is slightly higher, like what happens when your throat tightens up in the early stages of despair. I can tell that seeing Sadie like this brings him immense pain, maybe even guilt, but I know that he probably doesn't want me to bring it up.

"She's quite the fighter, just like you. The doctor says she should be fine, but we have no conclusive evidence on what will happen to her eye. Odds are 50/50." I try not to sugarcoat anything, but I also try to be respectful of what I say. This is the woman he loves, the last thing he needs to hear is that she might not make it.

Jack solemnly nods his head. I move forward to help move him back to his bed when he suddenly looks up to me.

"Can I stay here? In this bed?" His eyes are pleading for me to say yes, and I know that if the woman I loved were here, I too would want to stay right next to her.

"... Alright, you can stay here. But there are some things you should know first. No one else but us two know that she is a woman, alright? And she goes by the name Bailey Stevens, so when she does come around, and others are awake, just call her Bailey, alright?" Jack's eyes burn with curiosity at hearing her chosen name, but he nods his head in understanding.

I say goodnight to him, before turning and walking off a little bit. Slightly intrigued, I turn and watch from afar as Jack gently kisses one of her hands before laying down in his own bed, not once facing away from her. My mind only has one thought running through it the entire time:

"This could either be really good, or really bad."

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quinloki · 1 year

Text

Family Ties

Fem Reader x Donquixote Doflamingo

CW: Language, violence, blood, moral ambiguity, murder, sexual themes and situations 18+ only

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 20: Picking Up the Pieces

Doflamingo had left shortly after. No matter what you asked he wouldn't answer what your promise had been, or what had gone wrong with the plan. Not being able to remember was on the verge of driving you batty, but you couldn't do anything about it while you were still healing.

The next three days were an exercise in exercising. Law helped you move limbs and slowly got you eating more and more food. You were frustrated, something itched inside you and you wanted to just run laps around the clinic, but your body wasn't up for it.

You had more visitors as the days went by too. You saw Doflamingo almost every day, even if it was just a brief visit. You didn't see Pops much, but you saw his "boys" a lot. Luffy, Sabo, Ace, Thatch and Marco visited as much as it seemed like they could get away with. Law was more and more irritated by them and eventually you asked Marco and Thatch to restrain them a little.

Robin, Sanji, Zoro and Kid visited you. Robin brought your favorite flowers, and Sanji brought your favorite tea. Zoro and Kid spent time telling you about all the trouble you'd gotten into when you were younger. The conversations sparked something in you, and when you prompted the next step in a story Kid hugged you so hard you think your spine cracked. It was the first thing you had remembered on your own, aside from knowing that you were missing the bracelet when you first woke.

Five days later you had remembered a decent amount of things on your own, and the tests Law ran had shown that the memory issue could've been trigged by physical and/or mental trauma. He couldn't test for things like personal stress, but while there had been brain damage it wasn't severe.

"Memory loss is a hard thing to nail down," Law admits. "Sometimes things come back in a few hours, sometimes a few days. Some people have started whole new lives after memory loss, only to have it all come back years later.

"Sorry I can't give you a definitive answer, (Y/N)-ya."

You stretch forward to try and reach your toes with your fingers. "S'aright, you've already done more for me than I could've hoped for."

"Don't say it that way, we are friends."

You smile, "We are, and I didn't mean it that way. I mean, I think I know how important I am to people after all that's been done for me. I'm looking forward to getting out of here and wandering around town. Maybe I can remember more once I start working again."

"I'm sure that decision went over well with Mr. Donquixote."

Your face goes red. "It... hasn't yet. I decided just a bit ago, so I haven't said anything to anyone else yet." You sigh and turn to Law. "Can I have my one brutal question for today?"

"Already? Sure, if you want." Law agrees. He had gotten into a habit of being brutally honest with you for one question per day. The only thing that was off-limits was The Plan. Through this you'd learned that yes, technically, you were a criminal, but you hadn't been caught. You learned that you had let yourself into his clinic repeatedly and tended to "strays" as the two of you referred to them, and that you'd met Doflamingo through that process. You learned that your mom died when you were little, and your biological father was a marine, and that he was deceased as well, but Law didn't say when he had died, and you didn't ask.

"Do you think I loved Mr. Donquixote?"

Law closes his eyes for a moment and sucks in a breath. "I'm not comfortable guessing at what was going on in your heart, (Y/N)-ya, but-." He looks over and smiles. "I do know you lost Kid $50 because you admitted you 'had it bad' for him. If I were going to put money on things, I think you did, or if you didn't, you were close.

"I'll give you a little freebie, when you're talking to him later about your decision, call him Doffy." Law's grin is practically evil. "I'm sure he'll become more malleable then."

Later on that day you had gotten dressed, and Doflamingo had arrived to pick you up. He was knelt down as you sat on the edge of the bed and was tying your shoes for you. You were almost fully healed, but he seemed to enjoy getting to pamper you when he could get away with it.

"And so, I decided I want to go back to work," you continue, having explained that you wanted to do things that would help you remember. "Walking around town will help, I'm sure, but I feel like if I could go back to my old routine then it'd really help."

"Do you intend to return to your apartment as well?"

You open your mouth to answer yes, but there was something in his tone that stops you. "I... maybe, no, I mean, yes." You couldn't stop the drop in your voice when you spoke again, "I can't really walk from your home to those jobs, I mean."

You could see him tense as you spoke, but when he looks up, he appears okay. You've quickly learned that he was in control of his emotions very well. You imagined his rage was terrifying.

"Your mind is made up then, young lady?" His face was straining neutrality, but his voice sounded defeated. Your stomach knots, and you do your best to keep looking at him. His hands were on either side of your thighs, holding onto the bed. He'd done his best to avoid looming over you while you recovered. You could often tell from his body language that he'd done his best to avoid touching you too much as well.

"As long as I'm not inadvertently giving you an answer to a promise I still don't remember, then, yes." You reach out and he lets you caress the side of his face. You could tell he closed his eyes at the touch, and you wanted to kiss him. You wanted to remember first.

"Just for a week," you say. "Give me a week to remember, and then..." you weren't sure what to say, "And then we can talk about different living arrangements-" you could feel the heat rise in your face, but you weren't sure why. You wanted to use the name Law had told you, and you forced your mouth to make the sound despite the growing need that was rising up in your stomach.

"-Doffy."

His grip on the bedding tightened so fast you heard the frame squeak. The gaze that pierces you almost stops your heart, and he holds your gaze as he stands. Having him over you, caged by his arms, was not the reaction you think Law expected. You didn't feel afraid of Donquixote, but there was a feeling of concern. It was like he was struggling to control himself, and it was your fault.

He lifts his glasses up to the top of his head, using the entire weight of his gaze. There's a passion and a desire in those eyes that is likely to simply set you on fire where you sit. His body shifts and he moves as though he means to kiss you, but his movements were slow enough for you to react. You didn't turn away, but you did put both your hands over his mouth.

"N-Not here." You break away from his gaze and shake your head. "I have nothing but a jumble of memories from this room, and... and I want to make memories outside of this place." You move your hands away. You can feel the red running down your face to your neck. "It's not 'no', it's just... o-out there, not here-WAH!"

He lifts you up into his arms like you weigh nothing and cradles you against his chest. He moves his glasses back over his eyes and you hold onto his jacket to steady yourself. You start to protest, but his voice brokers no dissent.

"I refuse to let you go, my dear. You will simply have to deal with it."

His voice was always pleasant to hear, even when he was busy, but his voice when he was demanding submission to his will was something else entirely. You bury your face in his chest, not wanting to light up the entire clinic with how bright red your face is. You manage a very tiny 'okay', and didn't give Law anything more than a thumbs up when you left.

You had only the briefest moment of sun against your skin before you're set inside the back of a limousine. Something about the smell of it, the feel of the leather, and the soft, almost unnoticeable purr of the engine, tickles at the back of your mind. Though you hadn't the chance to focus on any of these things for more than a second.

After Doflamingo seats himself next to you, his arms move you as he pleased. You find yourself straddling him, chest to chest, sitting in his lap with his arms around your waist and back. You gasp in surprise and the pleasure of being so close to him, the sound escaping you closer to the pleasure side of things. You bury your face into his shoulder, heat radiating from your cheeks and ears.

You could feel the smirk on his face as his fingers slip over your back and slide through your hair. Your body shivers at the tender and needy movements, and you try to suppress the moans escaping you.

"It's difficult to kiss you when you're like that," He muses, and you could feel his voice against your body more than you heard it through your ears. "Though, I don't dislike the noises you're making for me right now."

"Let me... let me kiss you." You manage between the involuntary sounds he was eliciting from you simply by running his fingers over your back. You had wanted to remember him first, you thought that was going to be the best thing for you to do. For both of you.

Right now, however, you wanted something different. Something deeper. You wanted a moment of control, you wanted to show the feelings you had right now, even if they could be different from whatever you had felt before. Not that you thought they would be, the way he controlled your body spoke to a level of intimacy beyond what you had assumed.

"As you wish, my dear," His hands move away and he has them hooked behind the headrests of the limo's seat.

Your face must be fire engine red, but you keep your gaze on his lips. You lick your lips lightly, tilting your head a little and closing the space between you. Your lips barely touch his, but you can't help the gasp that escapes you as a rush of pleasure hits you unexpectedly. You reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair, your other hand is on his shoulder, helping you to keep your balance. You lean into the kiss a little more, but it's like you can't get air into your lungs. You suck in a breath, lips quivering against his and instead of leaning in, you lean back and meet his gaze.

He doesn't look disappointed, but there's an inquisitive glint in his eyes.

"It was a little different, wasn't it?" You murmur softly, your gaze returns to his lips and you don't notice his eyes widen.

You lick your lips lightly and swallow, before leaning forward to close the space between you. Running your lips over his so softly as to barely make contact, you reach out with your hand to slide your fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck, and then you lean in deeper with the kiss. Your eyes close as a moan rises up in your throat and shivers through your lips.

You lean back enough to break the kiss, but you don't go far, "I remember, I wanted to tease you more, but you took over. We'd just declined dessert?" Your brows furrow. "No, we were going to have it at your place... we..." Your eyes widen as more of the memory returns to you. "Oh."

You start smacking his chest as you talk, remembering more the more you said. "The day, that day, it was... what was it? It was a date, but not a date? You were - you'd made some excuse about wanting to pay me back." Your eyes light up, and you beam at him, "THE BRACELET! I made you buy me something at... at the place, the carnival? And then we, uh..." Your face is red, you're remembering, but the words aren't going to come out as easily as the memories are flooding in.

Doflamingo's expression is the softest smile you've ever seen on him, and when you finally falter for words, he embraces you. He buries his face in your shoulder, wrapping an arm around your waist, and cradling your head in his other hand. You feel his body shudder, and you wonder if he's crying.

Tears well up in your eyes and you try not to cry, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I forgot, and I'm sorry I don't remember everything yet." His embrace tightens, but he shakes his head soundlessly against your shoulder.

You could feel him breathing shakily, and you wondered if he had ever lost control of his emotions in this way before. You wondered if he even knew he could have emotions like this. You didn't think he was completely heartless, but you knew he had to be a certain level of ruthless to live the life he did. Something twists your heart, and you felt a deep sense of guilt, but you couldn't place exactly why.

"Don't," His voice is almost broken, and he was slowly evening out his breathing. "Don't apologize, my love."

My love. You gasped, the words wrenching your heart and causing tears to fall down your face. You lean your head against his, running a hand through his hair, and sinking into him. You could feel a wet warmth against your shoulder. You knew though, you knew from his actions, from his restraint, from his gaze, you already knew. But to hear those words - you couldn't write it off as simple kindness, you couldn't hold the weight of it at arm's length.

After you had both composed yourselves, you whisper into his ear, your gaze looking out the back window even though you weren't focused on anything.

"Help me remember," your arms tighten around him. "Please."

"Of course," He assures you, his fingers slipping through your hair. "I wouldn't want anything less."

You laugh, nearly on the verge of tears again. "That's a relief." You set your head on his shoulder.

"Mm? In what way, my dear?"

"If there was something you would benefit from me not remembering, I feel like you'd prefer it. Like, you'd mitigate the risks of letting me slip through your grasp." You admit. "But at the same time, I trust your words."

"You've said that of me before, do you remember?" He prompts, shifting you so you were looking into his eyes again.

"That I trust your words?" Your brow furrows, "No, you... uh... hm." You make a face, feeling conflicted.

Doflamingo chuckles, "I'm not sure how to take that, but you're not wrong. You've never said you trust my words before."

You think about it for a moment, "I have said that I trust you though, haven't you?" You see a flicker in his eyes, and you recognize the emotion, since you'd been feeling guilty yourself a lot the last week. "I said so before things went sideways."

Doflamingo lowers his eyes and nods slightly.

"I survived," you say, tilting his chin up and bringing his gaze back to yours. "I survived and I'll remember, so... so my trust wasn't misplaced. You're not a god, despite your ego, you can't protect everyone from everything and live the life you do."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, you're not exactly hitting the mark."

"I'm not exactly missing it, either," you quip. You place your forehead against his. "Sometimes you need to be reminded of your humanity, like it or not."

"(Y/N)," His voice and gaze are steady. "Let me kiss you."

You lean back, settling into his lap, and closed your eyes, tilting your face upward.

The gentle warmth of his hand sliding along your jaw causes you to nuzzle into his palm as it caresses your face. Fingers run along the line of your ear, sending small shivers down your neck, before disappearing into your hair. His large hand cradles the back of your head as his thumb from his other hand runs over your lips softly. The sensation causes you to gasp, parting your lips just as he closes the distance between you.

The first brush of your lips was swift, and hot air fills the space between you both. You feel his fingers flex in your hair, and his body tenses under you as he struggles to contain the need he'd been pushing aside for the last week. A tender kiss follows, as though he was trying not to shatter some wisp of a dream between his arms.

You lean into him a little, to reassure him you weren't made of glass – or to urge him on, or both - and the hand not tangled in your hair wraps around your waist. Hot lips push back into yours and you moan from the pleasurable pressure. The kiss breaks enough for a breath of air to enter your lungs, but he follows soon after. His kiss holds you in place more than his hands, and the passion he drives into you was enough to pull air and reason from you.

Your hands grab onto the collar of his jacket, and you pull yourself into him. There's no contest of dominance in this, you have only a need to be even closer to him than physical law allowed. Heat rushes into your face, adding to the dizzying euphoria of the long overdue kiss.

You lean back to breathe.

"Shit," you swear, gasping for air and turning your head away. You're red to your ears, and you could feel the heat in your thighs trying desperately to override the responsible parts of your mind. Your hands are pushing against his chest, and you could feel his heart trying to beat its way out of his rib cage. You couldn't wiggle out of his arms, and you didn't necessarily want to, so instead you hid your face against his shoulder.

"You're dangerous." You say, your voice breathier than you had expected. He chuckles, a mix of mischief and passion. "This is dangerous... It's dangerous but I'm not afraid." Your hands tightened their hold on the collar of his jacket again as you turn your head enough to be able to look across his chest, your head nuzzled just under his jaw.

"I don't know what to do," you murmur. "My body wants you, my head says I need to remember, and my heart says," you close your eyes and leaned into him. "that I had made up my mind before I forgot."

"I am not a mindless beast, my dear, and while I may not have boundless patience, I do have patience." He hugs you, running a hand over your hair and down your back. "I will do all that I can to help you remember. I can recount every moment if you so desire. I will have the Family find every record of your life if you want.

"Command me, my love."

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