#I'm just gonna link this post whenever I mention them

[skzstannie]

“We’d never want you to struggle alone”

SKZ-> ot8 x 9th member! reader

genre: angst wc: ~2100 cw: mentions of depression and death of family members, hatred for the holidays

Hi guys! Here’s my attempt at some Christmas/holiday angst. The fluffy Part 2 is posted and linked at the bottom of this post!

Feedback and likes/reblogs are greatly appreciated! I haven't got the chance to interact with too many people on here yet, so reach out if you'd like!

Happy scrolling!

"Hey guys, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed. Chan Oppa, I'm gonna go lay down in your room until everyone's ready to go back to our dorm," you wave off their comments asking you to stay with them and make your way to the leader's bedroom.

It's December 20th, and the guys are all gathered around the television in the 3Racha/Hyunjin dorm, binge watching Christmas movies. During a normal year, you'd all be at your own homes with your families, cozying up to the fireplaces and drinking hot chocolate with your siblings. However, this was no normal year, and your comeback ran too close to the holidays, not allowing you nor the boys to go home for Christmas. Not that you particularly minded; you hated the holidays.

You imagine what you'd be doing at home right now, no doubt curled up in your bed with an exciting romance novel, listening to some dark academia playlist you'd found on YouTube.

But you're not home, you're stuck here with a bunch of Christmas-crazed dorks who have spent the last few weeks decorating your dorms full of all things Santa Claus. You've been managing to sneak away whenever any holiday-esque activities are taking place. You've not told them of your hatred towards the holidays, and you're not really planning to, either, not wanting to be the reason their fun-filled nights are ruined; they're already sad enough about not being able to head home for the holidays, the last thing you want to do is be a scrooge. So, you’ve resorted to humbly excusing yourself, busying yourself with your own activities when the occasion arises.

As you walk into Chan's room, you take notice of all the little trees he has decorating his room. Cute. You pick up the picture of his family he has resting on his nightstand beside his bed. You stare at his mom, dad, siblings, and grandparents smiling faces, feeling the familiarly unavoidable pit in your stomach form.

Your parents and one set of your grandparents passed away in a car wreck about five years ago, before you debuted with the guys. Your other grandparents, your mother's parents, passed away before you were born, never getting the opportunity to meet them. So, that left just you and your brother. Your brother, being a few years older than you, started his own family the summer after your parents passed. He has a beautiful wife and two children now, one boy and one girl. They got right to baby-making after they got married, so excited to start a family of their own. Unfortunately, that family never included you. You only know of their children because you’re mutuals with your sister-in-law on social media.

Your brother essentially ghosted you after his first child was born. You two were never the closest sibling duo, but you never expected him to completely drop you and ignore your existence. But he did, and that's just something you have learned to live with.

You were not in a healthy place after all this happened. You had no one to go to when your heart was breaking, grieving the loss of both your dead and alive family members. You put all your focus into the trainee program, all your sadness and anger towards the world into your dance and song. Chan eventually found you on that one fateful day that you deemed saved your life. You were at the lowest of your low, and you thought you had finally reached your breaking point, but then walked in Christopher Bang Chan, all smiles and laughter. He recruited you to be in his group as one of the first, right after Han. From then on, you had another reason to keep going, to keep fighting.

You've never told the guys this. You have always been a more reserved member, keeping all of your personal life out of the spotlight. While the boys never heard you talk much about your family, really only knowing you have a brother, they always thought that, when you went home for the holidays, you went home to a nice big house filled with love. They thought when you walked in the doors to your childhood home, you were welcomed in by your parents with opened arms, beckoning you in. They thought you spent your Christmas mornings opening nicely wrapped presents, followed by a home-cooked breakfast that'd be shared amongst your family.

They didn't know of the single bedroom apartment you called yours. They didn't know of the bareness that captured your living room, baren of all things Christmas and the lack of Christmas cookies and presents on Christmas Day. They didn't know you've always spent your holidays alone.

Honestly, you were completely fine with their assumptions. You didn't need nor want their pity. Your family was still an incredibly sensitive topic to you. Before their passing, you were so very close. You'd spent every holiday together, enjoying your time as a family, doing all the cliche things. You'd even gone caroling a few times, walking around your childhood neighborhood singing the classic Christmas songs off-key to your friendly neighbors.

Afraid you'd spiral, leading you right back to how you'd been before Chan found you, you never brought it up, and the boys never pushed you to talk about your family. They figured you were normal with a mom, dad, and a loving brother-so what's to talk about?

The holidays have never felt the same; you knew they wouldn't. So why try? Why go through the effort of making yourself a nice Christmas dinner, attending church on Christmas eve and waking up early Christmas morning, when you knew your parents wouldn't be there to greet you. When you knew your grandmother wouldn't be there to give you the biggest hug she could muster in her old age. When your grandfather wouldn't be there to give you a hearty pat on the back, his only true form of physical affection you'd ever experienced in all your years with him.

A quiet knock pulls you out of your thoughts, and in walks Felix with a glass of milk in hand. You quickly set down the picture frame you didn't realize you were still holding and give him a warm smile.

"Hey, what's up?" you ask him, taking the glass from him and sipping on the cold beverage.

"I just wanted to make sure you were feeling alright. You've been pretty distant for a couple weeks now. Is everything ok?"

You're a little caught off guard, this being the first time anyone's noticed your pulling back since the beginning of December. You honesty didn't even realize anyone was paying attention to you, all of them too caught up in the festive activities and excitement of the season.

"Yea, I mean, I'm fine. Just a bit of seasonal depression," you write off his concerns.

"I didn't know you had that," Felix ponders his thoughts for a minute, giving you a loving look. "Is there anything I can do to help? Have you always had seasonal depression?"

While looking into Felix's warm, brown eyes, you decide that keeping all these things from them all these years has been unfair. They're never afraid of sharing their personal struggles with you. You think back to all the times Han's came to you with anxiety, and how you've wanted nothing more than to take away all his worry and pain. How Seungmin's came to you with his insecurities, and you always hyping him up, calling him the most beautiful boy. If any of them had kept their struggling to themselves, it'd crush you. How dare they feel like they couldn't come to you? Why would they want to struggle alone?

You realize that these feelings are most definitely reciprocated by the guys. Now, feeling vulnerable after being left alone with your thoughts for so long, you have the dire urge to come clean about your family.

"Actually Felix, I've been struggling with this for quite some time now. Can you, maybe just, listen? I've never talked to anyone about this, but I want to now. I want you guys to know," you fiddle with your hands, sliding one of your rings on and off your finger.

"Of course! You can always talk to me. Go ahead, I'm listening." He grabs your hand, halting your fidgeting. You look up at him, take a deep breath, and let it all out. Everything you've been holding onto these last few years. It probably sounds like word vomit, all your feelings and hardships falling out of your mouth at lightning speed. You finish your rambling, and you finally have the courage to look up at his face again.

He's crying. Equipped with all the theatrics, the wobbly lip and rosy cheeks. You made Felix cry with all your problems. You reach up to his cheek, wiping a few of his falling tears.

"Ok, I think I'm done," you freeze as Felix also brings his index finger up to your cheek. You flinch when he pulls away, seeing the dampness of it.

You're crying, too. You didn't even realize. I mean, it makes sense. You just trauma dumped all of your troubles onto Felix, the world's most renowned empath, of course you'd be crying.

You guys sit in silence for a minute, before Felix's whimpers become audible. He's so visibly distraught, and your heart breaks even more just at the mere sight of him.

He launches himself at you, clinging to you so tightly you think your ribs may crack. He tackles you back onto the bed, resting on top of you.

"Why did you never tell us this?" his sobs wreck through his body, his arms trembling around you, "We could've helped you."

"I was scared," you wriggle one of your arms free of his embrace, using it to affectionately run your hand through his hair. Your sobs join together as one, both of you a mess. "I was scared you guys would pity me, or look at me less. I was scared that I'd spiral again if I talked about it."

"Well, we're here now, Jagiya." He sits up after a few minutes. His cries have quieted, and so have yours. "We aren't going to let you continue going through this alone, ya know. We are one, and if one of us is hurting, we're all hurting. Please don't keep things like this from us anymore." He begs, standing from the bed. He grabs your hand and pulls you up, making his way towards the door.

"Where are we going?" your voice shakes and you pull away from Felix, standing in the middle of Chan's room. You wrap your arms around your middle, feeling more exposed than you ever have before.

"You know we have to tell the rest of them. They deserve to know, too."

"Felix, I don't think I can tell the story again. Once was enough for a lifetime."

"OK, do you feel comfortable with me telling them? I'll tell them exactly what you told me, no more, no less, ok?"

You frantically nod your head, grateful for Felix's suggestion.

He blows you a playful kiss, no doubt trying to make you feel better, and he leaves to go to the living room. You take your seat back down on the side of the bed and wait patiently for Felix to finish.

You don't hear much for the next few minutes, but you're startled by the swinging open of the door, the handle cracking against Chan's poor wall. Han stands there, a dazed look on his face. His glassy eyes meet yours, and you shriek when he takes off, leaping onto the bed onto your small frame. He wraps you up in a big hug, squeezing the life out of you.

"We love you, and we'd never want you to struggle alone. We're in this life together."

One by one, the rest of the guys make their way into the room onto the bed. We're haphazardly thrown into a cuddle pile of sorts. A cuddle pile filled with the love and adoration you've been missing during the holidays.

You all lay in each other's arms, and you feel incredibly comfortable and safe. Chan's the first to break the silence, "We have five days left until Christmas. What do you say we make some new Christmas traditions? We don't want to replace what you used to have, and you’re entitled to spend your Christmas season as you'd like. But, if you'll let us, we’ll give you something to look forward to about the holidays again. Please?" The guys are all looking at you now, each of them displaying a face that could rival a sad puppy.

You realize now that there's nothing to be scared of. These are your best friends you're talking about, who want nothing but to shower you in love and happiness.

"I'd love that."

Part 2

[syrikif]

Gamer Etiquette

Kodzuken x Streamer!Y/N

Pairing: Kenma Kozume x Fem!Reader

Genre: SMAU + Written, Strangers to Lovers, Romance, Fluff, Humor, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Streamer/Youtuber AU

Content Warnings: Sexual jokes/content, mention of death threats, mature language

Upcoming content creator/streamer, Y/N, has gone viral for lots of things. Her infamous dumb moments, her blended cookie recipe (which tastes better than it sounds), the way she rages at her friends during games, and about a hundred more.

But her most recent viral moment? Accidentally knocking famous streamer, Kodzuken, off the Bedwars map and making him lose his two year winning streak.

Now with more attention (and hate) than she ever asked for, her only option left is to go to the source: the man himself, Kenma Kozume.

Created: October 6, 2023 Completed: (Ongoing) Update Schedule: I’m currently in the process of moving so just whenever I can :)

Masterlist:

Important Profiles: Y/N's Group Kenma's Group Prologue: Daddy Kink Cat Distribution System Chapter 1: Thirst Trap Hospital Food Chapter 2: Bedwars 🖊 Boredom 🖊 Chapter 3: Trending One Game Chapter 4: Calm Guilt 🖊 Chapter 5: Unhinged One in a Million Chapter 6: Cuddle Buddies 🖊 Casual Chapter 7: Rating The Cat Girl Chapter 8: A Dozen Men Little Things 🖊 Chapter 9: Scaredy Kitten Disappearing Act Chapter 10: Chapter 11: tbc . . .

Author's Notes:

Hey guys! This is my first post on Tumblr and the first SMAU I've ever written. Which, kudos to everyone else who makes SMAU's because they are a lot of work.

Just some basic info before you begin reading:

Y/N uses she/her pronouns and is feminine presenting.

Every chapter will have two parts, one part from Y/N's point of view and one part from Kenma's; the order will differ depending on the chapter.

Every update will be a double post so make sure you know you’re reading the correct one first, and reading both of them.

Time stamps don't really matter unless explicitly written by me so you can just ignore them :)

There will be both written and social media elements; written parts will be marked with a pen (🖊).

And I'm gonna be honest, while I love the anime I haven't actually watched it in a long time and I was never able to finish season three. That being said, if anything I write seems out of character for anyone just bear with me I'm trying my best lol.

Please feel free to give me any feedback and/or criticism to help me improve. And if any of the links aren't working just let me know and I'll try to get it fixed ASAP.

If you have any questions, don't feel too shy and reach out if possible; I promise I'll answer to the best of my ability.

(Also, just comment if you'd like to be on the taglist.)

Hope you enjoy the story :)

[x-liv25-jamieswife]

could you do a head cannon of Xander and Grayson?

P.S. I love the head cannons you make. They are so amazing!!!!!

xander and grayson head canons

of course. i hope you like them (as always, i apologize for spelling mistakes, i'm a lazy ass bitch and don't wanna proof read). as always, if anyone has any requests, feel free to send them. i really enjoy making these.

xander forced grayson to get an insta account. xander is always live, grayson not so much, but sometimes xander will get grayson to join his live and talk to the fans.

when xander gets shitty racist comments, grayson tears the haters apart (he never talks badly about anyone, he doesn't want to get cancelled, but for xander he would)

grayson is always cooking xander meals cause he forgets to eat when he's busy in his lab.

when gray sends him those meals, he sticks little notes to the plate. sometimes it's just to ask if he needs anything else (other times just to say he loves him)

xander sometimes sneaks into gray's room and color-coordinates his closet (he comes back bc he knows gray is gonna mess it up again), gray loves it.

when they were younger and xander would piss gray off, he used to send little toys he made as an apology (gray would tear up).

xander is the only person who knows gray has a secret insta account dedicated to fashion.

xander is always hacking gray's main insta account and posting weird stupid stuff.

when xander was younger, he was afraid of the dark. gray would lie down in his bed until he fell asleep (sometimes he would leave afterwards to go back to his room, but other times he'd just fall asleep.

xander has a grayson fan account (he thinks gray doesn't know about it but he does)

during the eras tour, xander teased grayson relentlessly during shake it off.

they went to the eras tour twice (maybe even more), the first time, xander got avery to do the vigilante shit performance with him, but the second time he dared grayson to do it. (if anyone doesn't know what it is, i'll insert a link to a video at the bottom).

when grayson goes out to buy himself coffee, he buys flavored coffees (vanilla, caramel, etc) for xander (and avery) bc he knows they love it.

xander loves reading romance books (bc of max) and got grayson into it too.

when xander get injured bc of experiments gone wrong, grayson takes care of his wounds and tells him to be more careful (xander swears he will be but never actually does).

when max drags xander along to sephora, he'll buy gray some skin care he thinks he'd like (or purchases things he knows he's running out of and likes)

same things goes for books. when xander is dragged along to book stores, he'll buy some classical/romance books he knows gray will like (gray will buy him romance books too)

they both lovee medical dramas (xander cause of the drama, and gray cause he's interested in medicine) (sometimes libby and avery will join cause they like medical dramas too (i mentioned this in my hc post for them)). sooner or later everyone's joined them and it become a weekly thing.

xander (and jamie) get him gag shirts with their faces on them (gray will wear them when he's doing his skin care to not mess up his suits).

grayson secretly loves fast food so whenever xander is out, he makes sure to get him some.

when grayson and xander were younger and xander needed supplies for his experiments, gray would take him out to buy them.

xander gets really nervous when buying max gifts cause he really wants her to like them and grayson always reassures him by telling him his gifts are perfect.

xander (and avery) play matchmaker when lyra comes along (they're their biggest fans) (i just had this thought tho, what if jlb is trying to trick us into believing lyra is his love interest, but in reality she isn't)

xander lovesss collecting blankets so whenever gray is out, he makes sure to check if there are any blankets he thinks xander would love.

xander posts on tumblr about his fav ships and stuff and gray likes every single one of his posts.

sometimes they'll sit in the living room and just read.

they have this book club (just the two of them). every month they pick one book they're both going to read and talk about it. (nash and jamie think it's adorable and max and libby (libby also loves reading romance) sometimes join)

xander loves to annoy grayson by increasing the temperature in his room so he wakes up sweating (gray needs to sleep in really cold rooms cause he's always hot).

when gray is overworking himself, xander will either make him coffee, tea, or hot chocolate, and then get his robot on wheels to take it to him. (gray always laughs at this thinking no one hears him, but the robot has a microphone attached to it so xander knows. it always makes xander happy cause gray never laughs).

xander used to look up to grayson cause he thought he was so smart and amazing (he would look at him with amazement and stars in his eyes)

gray loves organizing his papers in binders but never has time to do it so xander does it for him.

gray loves rings so xander buys him some whenever he goes out (as you can see, they're always buying each other stuff in my head).

that's all i have for now, but i love them sm i'll probably make some more (it was literally so easy to come up with hcs for them)

here's the link to the vigilante shit performance for the ones who don't know what i'm talking about.

[fandom-trash-goblin]

Jiang cheng for the ask game

Also asked my @jcs-singular-slut-strand my beloved <3<3<3 and another anon, i'll just put it here. this needs a lot more jin ling but i'm tired sorry

Favourite thing about them: the fact that jiang cheng isn't a genius like wwx. he works hard and he fails and he's still so fucking amazing. he's sandu shengshou, he's sect leader jiang, he's zidian's wielder, he's fucking amazing. jiang cheng goes from this:

the most laughable one was the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, the people of which either had been killed or had scattered, leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

to one of the most feared people in the world. everyone needs to clap for him.

propoganda : sect leader jiang convincing rogue cultivators to join, the dichotomy of our poor little dangereuse meow meow, he's trying so hard but he's going the wrong way, man believes his big brother so deeply even when he wants him dead, his fearsome reputation comes from killing his brother but gosh he will cry if you mention that,

Least favourite thing about them: not a least favourite thing tbh just--i so badly wanted the reverse core reveal man. i wanted jiang cheng to throw it in wei wuxian's face that he sacrificed himself first. i know it's not his character, and it's better that way, but i want him to- and then i wanna see the devastation on wwx's face. delicious

Favourite line: this post has that variation of my father picked me five times in my entire life and it made me happy for months that i cannot bring myself to write so you should just click on the link. also, devastation->

the absolute variations of Wei Wuxian!

Don’t you understand? When you’re standing on their side, you’re the bizarre genius, the miraculous hero, the force of the rebellion, the flower that blooms alone. But the second your voice differs from theirs, you’ve lost your mind, you’ve ignored morality, you’ve walked the crooked path. You think you can be immune to all those condemnations as you stay outside of the world and do whatever you want? No such precedent has happened before!

Why do you want his forehead ribbon? To hang yourself and commit suicide? I can lend you my belt, you’re welcome.

Go ahead. What other bad news do you have to report?

something something If you insist on protecting them(the Wen side branch), then I can't protect you

brOTP: Jiang Cheng & Jin Ling. that's his jiujiu, man. you can fucketh right off if you wanna say anything bad. i would love love an explored dynamic between Jiang Cheng & Lan Qiren. also a possible wen ning & jiang cheng or lan wangji & jiang cheng but we are not gonna see it happen in this cannon lmao.

OTP: chengxian. here's why one, two, three, four (gif), five, six, seven (gif), eight (thoughts on different wavelengths), the absolute circles of them saving each other, the fucking golden core reveal scene. golden scene reveal part 2, between this and jonsa, i'm never beating the incest allegations

edit: jiang cheng will always forgive wei wuxian

nOTP: i started out with jiang cheng/lan xichen... but i don't really see it anymore. but i don't hate it either, i will read fics for it if i like the writing.

Random headcanon:

lichtenberg scars. many of them, glowing whenever he uses zidian. here's where i got it from.

man is a savant at politics even if he's loud and angry.

yunmeng jiang absolutely adores their sect leader. i will love you forever if you send me recs all of them. pretend i haven't read a single one.

Lan Qiren has a favourite student that year and his name was not LWJ. Person had the same initials as Jesus Christ.

Unpopular Opinion: liking Jiang Cheng itself might be an unpopular opinion, tbh. but. let me punch wen ning just once. once. i'm sure he's done nothing wrong in his life ever. but please. once

Song I associate with them: zero idea. i'll get back to you on this.

Favourite picture of them:

babey! i think we're underestimating the potential of disney princess jiang cheng // that's his whole damn world he loves them so much // the shepherd's favourite lamb vibes.

[daisiesonafield-blog]

Pure facts on DWD:

link

Transcript because SHE SPOKE FACTS NO BULLSHIT:

Here's my opinion. Actually, we can start with facts:

I don't wanna see this movie. I'm tired of hearing about this movie. Everything I've learned about this movie has been against my will. It's been 2 years of pre-release fatigue. I'm tired of the PR stunts, I'm tired of the obvious photo ops, I'm tired of the press leaks, I'm tired of the on set leaks, I'm tired of the "anonymous sources", I'm tired of all of it. Any interest I might've had in this movie doesn't exist anymore.

This film went into production in 2020 during a time when every single studio was panicked and desperate to figure out how they were gonna survive the pandemic. With theaters being closed, everything shut down, them losing money to streaming services. And the PR campaign for this film, which started during casting, is a direct reflection of that [studios being panicked].

Again, the budget is small, it's a $20 million dollar budget, it's not a ton of money in movie-money, and they're obviously supplementing that small budget with a never-ending PR campaign to make up for it. (edit: it went over budget to 30-40M! All the more reason for the excessive PR).

On to my opinion:

1 - Harry and Olivia are obviously in a PR relationship.

2 - The movie is not gonna do well. It's gonna tank.

3 - Florence comes off looking great. I don't know her that well, I've seen her in a few movies, she's not my generation, but whenever I see her mentioned, whether she's being slighted or supported in the PR campaign, I think she comes off looking fine. Love that she's also pretty silent in terms of press. This film wrapped a year ago (edit: it was 2 years ago) and she's probably moved on to better things at this point, and will probably just do her minimal press, which is fine. She, despite being the lead actress of this film, does not have as much at stake as the stunt queens, Harry and Olivia do.

4 - General opinion on Olivia Wilde: I'm more the same age. I remember back when she was just a rich girl socialite in NY. I love that she's into acting and into directing. But, I know she directed this film....I dated a director one time, and when his film went into post-production I didn't see that man for months because he was locked in an editing bay and would not come out for air. This chick [Olivia] was on tour with Harry Styles 2 months after production wrapped, I don't know how that worked. (edit: it was 6 months but she still fucked off to England the day after production wrapped, and the film needed extensive edits and was delayed so yeah...she was not "directing" anything really). Also, as a director she is behind the camera role, but her PR team are dead set on over-saturating her in media as the face of this title. Even putting her out more so than the actual actors in the film. Which is weird. There's a word for it, I can't figure it out (edit: I can, it's narcissism. You're welcome.). She's all up in the video, all up in the studio, all up in the radio...it's like...just say this is your vanity project and move on.

5 - Harry Styles: there is no way in god's green earth that a role that Shia Labeouf was cast in could be back-filled by Harry Styles. Harry Styles is youth marketing - that is simply it.

6 - Shia Labeouf is right. I'm sure that when Shia quit this film the studio was desperate and panicked, and went into a tailspin and said 'figure out a way to save it or we're pulling the plug'. And just like Shia has a video of Olivia begging him to stay, I'm sure Harry has a video of Olivia begging him to join this film.

[emma-is-swaggy-and-epic]

DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS THE 3RD TIME I'M FUCKING UPLOADED THIS PIECE OF SHIT BECAUSE TUMBLR KEEPS FUCKING UP MY IMAGE LAYOUT WHENEVER I POST IT SO IF THIS SHIT DOES THAT AGAIN I'M NOT GONNA FUCKING FIX IT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO EMBED ALL THE LINKS TO THE BASES I USED AND WRITE DOWN ALL THE TAGS ALL OVER AGAIN

X / X / X / X / X / X

Ngl it was relatively easy to think of pony names for these characters since i've had the idea to make this for a while so i've had a lot of time to think about it lol

For yuriko: i chose the name "flawless lace" because in her regular form, i specifically chose the name "yuriko" for her because it means "perfect" so i wanted to try and include that aspect into her pony name. Some considered names for her were "perfect storm" and "lily lace" since the "yuri" part of her name means "lily" (though i decided against it bc i remembered that's the name of an actual pony in MLP...) the markings on her legs are meant to sorta mirror the stockings she wears in her usual form

For sprite: i chose the name "baby carrot" simply because that was a actual name i considered for her normal form before i decided on "sprite" (which is kinda funny since a big part of sprite's character is that she likes apples.....a food that is basically as different from carrots as it can get) she is a goat-alicorn hybrid because she's normally a deltarune OC, specifically a fankid of kris and ralsei; with the latter being a prince from the dark who is also a goat monster

For carrie: a big part of her backstory is that she named herself, she's literally a carrot that decided to be human one day (...or pony, in this case) and is trying to fit into civilsation as best she can; so i tried to give them a pony name that sorta fits that, and so i named them "carrot mulch" because i could totally imagine her trying to introduce themself to someone and doing that one trope in movies where the main character doesn't want to share their real name and just looks around the room for things to call themself lol. I also decided to make her a blank-flank since she probably hasn't spent that long a time as a pony and therefore wouldn't have a cutie mark despite appearing fully grown

For makeighlyn i feel like my choices are pretty straight forward, the character is a girls' flash game mascot created by a christian fundamentalist cult who somehow escaped into the real world and now works as a demon slayer so i decided to give her a name and cutie mark that reflects that. The only thing that i feel is worth mentioning is that i find it interest how the amount of pink in her design makes the blue in her hair look a lot darker...either that or i might've accidentally hue-shifted it or something

Choese is another pretty straightforward one, he's a flirty cheese-themed mouseboy so i gave him a heart-shaped cheese cutie mark and named him "gouda squeaks" because he's a fucking rodent. (Sidenote: i love smoked gouda so goddamn much omg)

Lastly for crystalline i decided to make her a breezie since she's normally a fairy and y'know....breezies are just the MLP equivalent to fairies....i also decided to name her "fee-fee breezie" since breezies usually have really cutesy names in the show (some of them straight up have references to their species in their names), the "fee-fee" part of her name is short for "feelings" since crystalline is an emotion fairy

Y'know when i first created crystalline back when i was like, 10 i was going through a phase where i just VIOLENTLY hated things for no reason (specifically things from MLP such as the vampire fruit bats, flurry heart and the manta hawk from the IDW comics) to the point that i would make them out of polymer clay JUST so i can make my pony toys kill them (i was a weird kid, needless to say) one of these things being the breezies....so ngl i feel like the fact that i made crystalline a breezie is really fucking ironic lol

[destinyc1020]

Sunday confessions

This is the tweet that sparked it off for me:

https://twitter.com/carolinerenard_/status/1772686529527160858?t=bIg9VXTGmPmGs9Cr7EYaiw&s=19

This is going to be a silly confession because I genuinely feel this topic is a dead horse, but my concern is of the mental health of stans in this aprt of the Internet, so here it goes. Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.

There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.

These fans are similar to CE fans, no shade.

I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol. Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.

Now, let's bring some reality back into this. Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings. That tweet I linked was a very good observation in Stan culture cause some fans genuinely believe that Tom's accomplishments and actions are linked to them. It's a scary position to be cause now you are on the Internet spewing negativity towards tomdayas or anyone who celebrates their relationship and are in bubble cause you all lack nuance.

To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium. He signed to do a 4th film for the MCU. You can't blame anyone but him for that. He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan. There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for.

He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.

You have to meet ppl where they are at not what you want them to be. You have these high standards for a stranger, I can only imagine what you expect for ppl in your everyday life. Probably more leniency.

Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜

Thanks Anon for your confession. 😊

Usually, I would not say much and just appreciate your honest thoughts on this topic, but you brought up so many interesting things that I just have to comment longer on this lol... Hope you have a comfortable chair! 😅

My response below:

👇👇

First of all...Whew! Those tweets! WOW! Can I say? Completely, 100% agree. 👏🏾 This is what is at the crux of stan culture and social media addiction, and celebrity obsession.

Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.

I agree. I think there are SOME fans of Tom who are truly genuinely fans of his, but they want his career to look a different way, or to be what THEY want it to be, instead of just letting go of control, being a passive fan, and allowing his career to be whatever it's going to be.

One thing about me is that I'm usually a passive fan of whoever I'm a fan of. While I would love my faves to do certain roles, I'm not out here getting angry or upset if they aren't doing roles that I personally would love to see them do. I just go with the flow. I'm happy whenever I hear of a new project announcement for one of my faves, and I let things go!

There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.

First off, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.... With that said, maybe Tom has already done "prestigious cinema" as a younger guy, and now he wants to do more of a variety of roles. Did that thought ever occur to people?

I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol.

Hey now....not ALL of us Chris Evans fans out here are hating on him and his career, or hate on his wife lol. 😅 I, for one, would like to see him get out of the "Marvel Bubble" and have more substantial roles in the future, but I'm not upset with the work that he's BEEN getting during and post-Marvel. I just enjoy seeing him in whatever new venture/project that he has coming out?? 😅

Also, Idk much about Alba, but aside from the age gap and the fact that she looks like a KID lol, I AM actually very happy for Chris and Alba and their marriage. She seems very sweet, and she seems to make him very happy. 🥰 I love that for him! ❤️ Everyone deserves love. 🥰

Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.

I do think there's some validity to this...as I've mentioned this before myself.

Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings.

Exactly! I agree with this 100%.

He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan

There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for. He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.

Okay.... I'm sorry, but I have to vent here for a second.

Whew...Where do I begin?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's cute, adorable, and lovely that Tom is so supportive of Z, and some of the cute things they do in their relationship is just really adorable and makes us all believe in love again. 🥰

The PROBLEM that I'm seeing though is that Tom isn't autonomous from his relationship and his career. It's cool that fans want to stan Tom because of his cute "boyfriend" behaviors, but Tom is first and FOREMOST an A-C-T-O-R. An actor should be admired for their career and their WORK, NOT their relationship. The relationship is just the icing on the cake (imo). 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think the problem is that some stans are mainly associating Tom with his relationship, and aren't really giving credit to his career and his work. That's demoralizing imo. Any actor that you are a fan of should be admired primarily because of their work. Who they are as a person, and any "boyfriend" behavior is like secondary and just icing on the cake imo. Granted, you're not going to be a "stan" over every good actor out here, and I get it. But Tom isn't some "TV Personality" or "reality star" or "influencer". So his relationship shouldn't be taking precedence over his acting career imo. He's an ACTOR first and foremost. Jmho. 🤷🏾‍♀️

To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium

I'm sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this. Tom IS taken seriously in the industry as an actor. He wouldn't have gotten the role in "Cherry", "TCR", "TDATT", Romeo & Juliet, or be considered by Sam Mendes for "1917" if he weren't taken seriously as an actor in Hollywood. He wouldn't have been nominated for a Critic's Choice Award this year if he weren't.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but some of you all really need to get off of FilmBro Twitter and come back to reality.

Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜

I agree. 😊

Being a fan of someone should be fun! If it's not, then you either need to reevaluate who you're stanning, OR, make adjustments to your viewing habits or expectations of said actor. Jmho

[maybemoonout]

if you were to put together a milex starter pack, what would be the top moments you’d include?? love your blog btw! 💗

Hi there anon! I'm so sorry it took me so long to answer this, there's just a lot going on right now for me so I only really found the time to answer this now! I hope you don't mind and still see this T_T

A starter pack sounds like such a fun idea! I want this to be sort of a bite sized post that allows new people from the fandom to find a little bit of everything they need to know. I think that's a good idea, so I decided with that!

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To get started, I wanted to link this post by @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind who made an AMAZING full blown post proving milex and it's wonderfully detailed and full of interview moments that start from the true beginning. A GREAT read if you need something to get you started!!

Some of my favorite moments that I got from that post are:

— Alex Turner on ‘Hot Press’ (x)

— Miles Kane, Les Inrocks Magazine 2016 (x)

And many many more from that post, it's also a great place to collect gifs since it has a lot, just remember to credit @i-m-a-leaf-on-the-wind !!

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Another GREAT post to read about their relationship is this post by @paperlovesadness that discusses Miles and Alex's relationship as the definition of Twin Flames. It's INCREDIBLY detailed and has sources for all the interviews mentioned. It's honestly such an interesting study, the definition of twin flames, even outside Milex, so please do give it a read!!

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More great reads for this fandom are song analyses! You can find tons just by searching, but personally I have read all the song analyses of @yellowloid and @paperlovesadness, and I love them A LOT. I also have a few of my own, just check out my #ask !!

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@puppetsspace started a Milex Timeline of events but it only ever made it to 2007, I don't know if anyone else made a bigger timeline but this is still a great blog to check out for the early timelines! My favorite one there has to be this post where Miles sees Alex for the first time and he looks in awe. Very sweet!

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@yummilexhub created a full blown collection of the entire EYTCTE Tour!! A great place to get sources and clips!! please check it out here!

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Now for some more fun stuff, if I had to choose my favorite moments it would be really... difficult. I have A LOT in mind and I honestly can't pick just a few so I'll try limiting it as much as I can.

---

1. The Iconic Øyafestivalen 2016 hug

Need I say more? Miles HIMSELF posted this moment, so it's not surprising everyone loves it, including meself.

2. The Iconic Coachella Kiss

This is honestly my favorite for 2 reasons:

[edited] I was unfortunately a slave to the internet but I originally said here that they were really banned but really its just a rumour!! I hears the guy handling coachella really wasn't happy with the whole thing thoigh, still funny lmfao

It was the one of the few moments that were the closest to a kiss, there are a few others but this one is the most popular and most iconic because again of said reason in #1.

3. Sharing Clothes

This ones not really a moment but a collection of moments. I find it EXTREMELY FUNNY that whenever people do those "boyfriend style" things on Alex, you see the regular array of ex girlfriends or current girlfriend, and out of nowhere, it's just Miles HAHAHAHHA. LIKE IT'S FUNNY AS HELL. I find it kinda sweet that Miles is somehow the... consistent out of all of the styles, like no matter the era of Alex there's gonna be a moment where he shares clothes with Miles, compared to the others who obviously only ever share with him in one period. I guess that's the perks of being the best friend?

Some examples:

Striped Shirt

Leather Jacket

Fred Perry Cardigan

4. The Albums being called "their baby"

This one is a little more of a stretch because I've only ever seen it one time. In this interview Alex says "for the past 8 years we've considered...trying for another baby" then they both start laughing hysterically. It's funny and cute :)) If anyone ever sees a different moment where Alex and Miles call the albums their babies, please do let me know!

5. I Want You (She's So Heavy)

These gifs explain themselves I think

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I honestly can't think of more on top of my head right now, if anyone wants to add more please do! I'll definitely add more later but for now, this is my starter pack!

I hope this is a good little collection of stuff for you guys to see a little bit of everything!

[4dkellysworld]

Hii, I hope you're well and I wanted to ask a question about something more practical: I've read a couple of times that you shouldn't try to control or change your thoughts and also actions because our very fighting gives them life and that it's better to just observe and witness. But I also remember reading a post of yours that talked about how dropping habits (which kinda leads to your actions/thoughts changing) or clearing the subconscious is a way to let go of the ego and now I'm a bit unsure what I should do? I like the idea of dropping habits as a way to drop the ego but I worry that it's gonna get me more involved in it as well. Idk if this made sense lmao😭

Yes it makes sense, I know what you're asking (I had the same confusion once as well haha). The short answer is there is no right or wrong approach as the ones you mentioned are all valid but there are more appropriate and effective approaches for each of us, and that all depends on us personally - it's something you just have to figure out for yourself based on trial and error, also keeping in mind that the practices can be done for a bit and then dropped for something else later when it feels right to do so.

I suggest you read the answer in this ask on mind purification and also the linked articles if you feel called to.

Basically the purpose and goal of mind purification is to remove a lot of the mental junk (aka samskaras) that makes the mind noisy so it can be calm and quiet enough for one to abide in the Self. Sure, you can try jump straight to abiding in Self (such as witnessing) but most people will not be able to sustain this for very long (if at all) without taming the mind through spiritual practice first.

Paul Brunton calls mind purification the prepatory stage or the "long" path that is necessary for most people and the "short" path is where one basically abandons all effort to do with the mind (knowing that it cannot be completely purified as it is always creating new thoughts) and goes straight to abiding in Self (and there can also be phases where one is doing both simultaneously as a transition period). Being on the long path is what then makes the short path possible and easy. Trying to do the short path prematurely won't result in much (let me know if anyone wants more details on the short and long paths). Even the realized beings who realized themselves at an early age were only able to do so because of their previous incarnations which they spent on the long path (as Robert Adams has said before).

Here is some further explanation:

Whenever attention is taken away from objects and put back on itself (awareness), it will start dissolving the knot of ignorance. Usually, this is hard to do because our mental tendencies and habits make objectless awareness or the state of empty consciousness challenging to abide in and sustain. Paying attention to an object is so much easier than paying attention to no object at all! That’s why aspirants generally start by practicing easier forms of meditation like breath-awareness, or even grosser forms of spirituality like dualistic bhakti rituals. All of these have the purpose of calming the mind and of purifying it so that it can sustain prolonged attention on an objectless awareness.

They talk about using meditation and physical rituals to calm and purify the mind however I personally found releasing to be most effective (of course it is going to vary from person to person).

Even Buddha and Lester Levenson did mind purification which made their enlightenment possible :) I recently discovered there's actual records of Buddha's discourses (part of the Pali Canon) that were preserved and translated. In this one, he talks about facing his fears and dreads until they were gone.

I considered thus: 'Whenever recluses or brahmins unpurified in verbal conduct, unpurified in mental conduct, unpurified in livelihood resort to remote jungle-thicket resting places in the forest, they evoke unwholesome fear and dread. But I am purified in livelihood While I dwelt there, a wild animal would come up to me, or a peacock would knock off a branch, or the wind would rustle the leaves. I thought: 'What now if this is the fear and dread coming?' I thought: 'Why do I dwell always expecting fear and dread? What if I subdue that fear and dread while keeping the same posture that I am in when it comes upon me?' "How would it be if in the dark of the month, with no moon, I were to enter the most strange and frightening places, near tombs and in the thick of the forest, that I might come to understand fear and terror. And doing so, a wild animal would approach or the wind rustle the leaves and I would think, 'Perhaps the fear and terror now comes.' And being resolved to dispel the hold of that fear and terror, I remained in whatever posture it arose, sitting or standing, walking or lying down. I did not change until I had faced that fear and terror in that very posture, until I was free of its hold upon me. And having this thought, I did so. By facing the fear and terror I became free." (summarised it a bit since the way they write is a bit repetitive)

If you look from Passage 27 of that linked sutta, he talks about the knowledge he gained directly from Self/Source/"That"/Brahman which was possible because of his purified mind "When my concentrated mind was thus purified, bright, unblemished, rid of imperfection, malleable, wieldy, steady, and attained to imperturbability, I directed it to knowledge of the recollection of past lives. This was the first true knowledge attained by me in the first watch of the night. Ignorance was banished and true knowledge arose, darkness was banished and light arose, as happens in one who abides diligent, ardent, and resolute." The other knowledge he gained in that same night: knowledge of the passing away and reappearance of beings, and knowledge of the destruction of the taints.

When I knew and saw thus, my mind was liberated from the taint of sensual desire, from the taint of being, and from the taint of ignorance. When it was liberated, there came the knowl­edge: 'It is liberated.' I directly knew: 'Birth is destroyed, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more coming to any state of being.'

Reading the recount of Buddha's enlightenment reminded me so much of Lester Levenson's own self-realization and enlightenment (he didn't read these discourses either) because he also did releasing to purify his own mind by correcting his past and thoughts from non-love to love and then later on he did self-inquiry and meditation (read the excerpts from here and here) and he also talked of the insights he gained directly from Self as a result of his awakening.

Toward the end of my period of seeking, l one day saw that, my gosh! This whole thing is like a dream in my mind, just like a night dream! And it's a dream that never really was any more than a dream you had last night was. Was it a real thing, that dream you had last night? No. It was only in your mind. But of course until one awakens out of this everyday waking state, it seems real to one. The new reality was that I am, and that's all there is! That my beingness is the changeless essence of the universe, of course, I was punch-drunk, slap-happy, and in a state of euphoria. In this state the whole world looks perfect. Looking at my body, I also saw this body as part of that perfection. This instantly corrected all my ailments.

Lol this ended up being quite a long answer but I wanted to show why mind purification is important and necessary on this path using examples from people I'm confident were truly fully realized beings and went all the way. I don't agree with a lot of the current teachings which just say not to do anything, that there is nothing to do. If that were true, why do people even come to seek spirituality in the first place and want to turn away from the material life?

Of course you are already the Self! Of course there is nothing to accomplish from the perspective of the Absolute. Of course there is no goal because who you truly are is already enlightened. But do you feel that way? Are you entirely free from suffering, ever at peace, bliss and with genuine (nonintellectual) wisdom? If you follow this type of Neo-Advaita teaching, from either the “nothing to do” or the “you are already enlightened” school, you will go nowhere. At best, you will stagnate in a tiny “peace-empty” feeling after doing 5 minutes of intellectual Self-inquiry, and then you’ll believe that you are enlightened, especially if the teacher or guru says “Yes, that is the Self! You have awakened!” Then you can become a guru too. In all seriousness, the aforementioned is what’s trending nowadays. It may have its purpose in certain circumstances, but it is mostly deceiving and unhelpful. All genuine and truthful Gurus, such as the Buddha, Lahiri Mahasaya, and Ramana Maharshi preached the importance of spiritual practice.

So basically, dropping habits/limitations/ego and clearing the subconscious isn't getting more involved in it, it's part of being on the long path and purifying the mind! Eventually, even this practice is to be dropped so you can just easily abide in Self as the observer on the short path with a clear mind. Of course in the end it is all up to you. Your inner guidance will tell you what is right :)

[mediocre-daydreams]

I SAW UR MARVEL X FAMOUS READER THING and can i please req for a bucky x singer!reader or peter parker x singer!reader and the secret relationship trope where the avengers catch peter/bucky in a phone call and catching them acting all pouty and whiney and all cute and twirling their hair while giggling like school girls and the avengers being all shocked but not knowing who he was talking to + little scenes or bucky/peter smirking or looking proud whenever r is on tv + and the all the avengers going to some sort of concert or event where r is performing and r literally going down to the audience while performing to kiss bucky/peter and just social media freaking out !!

I LOVED WRITING THIS!! sorry it took so long to finish; i wanted it to be perfect for my tubmblr spouse ksjdfhd. anyways this was so so cute and i'm gonna do some extra drabbles + smau bonus posts because wow i loved this concept

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧

peter parker x singer! reader

notes: swearing, mentions of the birds and bees in a non-sexual way, so much fluff bro, the tiniest smidge of angst it's like a sprinkle of salt, a bit of insecure peter feeling like he's not enough, vague description of canon-level violence, lowkey breaking the fourth wall, the avengers are nosy as fuck and definition crack, clint is in his red (taylor's version) era

w/c: 5.2k

the songs used in the fic are by taylor swift + linked at the bottom of the post <3 (but also taylor canonically exists in this universe so she still has her music peter's a swiftie just go with it pls)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

peter parker never failed to confound; and no, it wasn’t just the avengers that were confused by his… antics. may, mj, and ned were equally as surprised when they caught peter parker, their [overly] enthusiastic, nervous, forever-in-motion peter parker, casually laying in bed, propped against a pillow with one arm behind his head that made him look like some cookie-cutter male love interest in a cheesy romcom, nonchalantly talking to a female voice from his phone.

mj and ned were no idiots—they’d been the first to discover his spiderman identity so scoping out the identity of peter’s secret female friend was almost as easy as getting flash to talk about sports cars. peter eventually had to spill the beans to may after she confronted him about his ridiculously high monthly phone bill.

but the team of the world’s best spies, geniuses with multiple PhDs, highly trained super soldier assassins, and the man who singlehandedly made the “birds aren’t real, they’re government spies” conspiracy come true, still hadn’t managed to find the tea they so desperately wanted peter to spill. they were too prideful to ask peter to his face and admit defeat, so for weeks, they’d pulled out all their tricks only to fail miserably.

sam tried having redwing perch outside peter’s window to catch footage of any new visitors; there were none. clint, who’d snuck into the vents, and bucky, utilizing his super soldier hearing, had tried eavsdropping on one of his calls. all they heard was peter singing off key and then a yelp as he snapped one of his guitar strings. steve and bruce had tried to casually sit peter down and talk to him about the birds and the bees, hoping that peter would let something slip about any of his romantic or sexual relationships, but peter just groaned and said may had already told him this. natasha even tried hacking into peter’s internet and phone history, but once she found the spiderman tiktok edits and an obscene number of shirtless pictures, she had to stop. 

after a lot of bribery and light extortion from tony (who was probably the most invested in revealing peter’s gal pal), wanda reluctantly tried to read peter’s mind, only to see flashes of who she presumed to be peter’s celebrity crush. the avengers had never pegged peter for a fanboy (actually, a good third of them thought he swung the other way and sam and bucky insisted he was on the path to incel-hood), but the fanatic squealing and giggling that emanated from peter’s room every night told a different story. it was clear: the boy had an unhealthy parasocial relationship with a girl who would never know of his existence.

“hey petey pie, d’you still have my artisanal hand lotion?” tony came up to peter as he tinkered with his web shooters.

“oh yeah, mr. stark! they’re in my room and on my desk. you can just go in, if you want.” peter had a spare room in the tower that he used after long missions or big lab projects; it was much more empty than his room at aunt may’s. as most teenagers did, peter considered his bedroom a personal, private sanctuary, but his tower room’s furnishings were pretty basic and he usually didn’t even bother to close the door.

peter’s desk was fairly empty sans tony’s lotion, but because of how barren it was, tony’s eye was automatically drawn to the papers at the corner of the table. no, not his illegible chemistry notes. there was a flyer advertising your upcoming tour dates and locations, and underneath it was an autographed vinyl of what tony assumed was one of your albums.

but tony was truly horrified when he found the bottle of half-used perfume from your brand sitting on peter’s nightstand, in front of a framed picture of him photoshopped next to you.

“peter, we need to have a chat.” tony gestured to the communal living room, where steve, bucky, sam, wanda, and natasha were sitting. steve was holding a sheet of printer paper that said “intervention.”

peter looked around the room, trying to figure out who the intervention was for. “you never call me peter,” he laughed nervously, “is something going on? are we throwing a surprise party?”

peter made the mistake of looking over at steve and he couldn’t help but cower under the nation’s most powerful I’m Not Mad, Just Disappointed Face™. 

“kid, why don’t you take a seat?” steve sighed like a Disapointed Father™.

peter sat as far away from the rest of the avengers as he could, wary of how they’d all been looking at him. that was his second mistake, because he ended up across from a team of master interrogators who were staring him down like he was their next victim (because he was). 

“we wanted to discuss- uh, the… internet with you,” bucky began.

“oh, mr. sergeant bucky sir, if you need help with the wifi router again, i can show you how to fix it yourself, it’s easy, ac-”

“no- no! that’s not… we’re not talking about that. so obviously your aunt may has already given you the se- safe reproductive activities talk, but we wanted you know, as tech experts-” bruce looked at tony and nat. “-to make sure you understood safe internect practices. safe and healthy internet practice.”

peter visibly relaxed. “oh, if that’s what you’re worried about, it’s all good! midtown has a mandatory seminar and i already know not to use omegle—i learned that the hard way, but i did learn; plus, i took a scratch lesson about html so i’m pretty like, tech proficient.”

“peter, have you ever heard of parasocial relationships?” the rest of the team shot wanda dirty looks at her slip up. they were supposed to ease into the whole thing so that peter didn’t get scared and run off.

“oh, like dating app parasites? yeah, ned was joking around on christian mingle and got this horrible-”

“let me put this into chronically online gen z words,” natasha grimaced. “do you know what the infinitive ‘to stan’ means?”

peter was puzzled. “oh yeah, of course! this guy flash from school has a huuuge obsession with sebastian stan; like, he stans sebastian stan. it’s kind of unhealthy. i’m pretty sure flash thinks he’s the y/n in a ‘my mom sold me to one direction for money’ ao3 fanfiction.”

“right…” sam’s face was all screwed up as he tried to steer the conversation away from 2000s boyband kidnapping aus. “and what about you, peter? do you stan anyone? any… attractive female celebrity who’s approximately your age?”

peter looked genuinely confused. “i mean, i’m a swiftie, if that counts. but not in an unhealthy way!” peter reassured. “i’m not one of those people who has a twitter account dedicated to analyzing the spray painted words on the wall she pisses on in the music video for the man to try and figure out the order of her next album releases, so don’t worry. i’m perfectly normal.” he laughed shrilly.

steve shuffled for something behind him. “i didn’t want to have to do this,” steve enunciated, holding up a picture of you. “we found your shrine and the pictures you’ve photoshopped yourself into and we know that you’ve deluded yourself into thinking that you have a relationship with her and we’re just worried, okay? look, i also enjoy her songs every once in a while, but this is too far. we can’t have an avenger with compromised judgement out on the field.”

peter’s mouth gaped and he stared at the picture steve had chosen, feeling himself blush. that was the picture you’d asked him for his opinion on it before posting it on instagram. and that was the night you’d sent him a voice memo of a song you’d written for him, in which you’d told him how you’d loved him for the first time.

“uh, come again?” peter’s voice turned up at the end in his confusion, but the other avengers took it as a sign that he was lying.

“okay, this is enough. we’re taking him to cho for an evaluation,” tony snapped, taking peter by the arm and dragging him down the hallway.

“hey- hey! wait! i’m not delusional, just let me-” peter scrambled for his phone, trying to pull out pictures of you and him together as proof, but he dropped it amidst the chaos of tony’s fussing and nat and bruce’s hushed whispering, and the exclamations of surprise in this unplanned step of the intervention.

peter watched as his phone clattered to the ground and he reached his free hand out for it cinematically, but it was to no avail. that stuff never worked in the movies either.

“jarvis!” peter yelled desperately.

“yes, young spiderling?” jarvis replied. tony must’ve reprogrammed eyerbody’s name in jarvis’ system.

“play voice memo! uh, the most recent one!”

“playing voice memo: this is peter with trial four- ahhhh! no, not that one!” crashing noises and a string of curses from a voice in the background that made steve flinch ensued. “oh my god, mr. stark’s going to kill me if he every finds out-”

“stop! no! jarvis, um, play the second most recent voice memo!”

peter looked at the ground to avoid tony’s withering glare. “we will be discussing this later,” tony warned.

“playing voice memo.” through tony’s newly installed surround sound speakers, your silvery voice reverberated around the high-ceilinged walls and silenced the other avengers’ jabbers.

“my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again, these are the words i held back as i was leaving too soon—i was enchanted to meet you.”

sam’s mouth dropped. “what the fuck? i didn’t peter say he learned to code on scratch? how did he work out this voice generator thing?”

bucky’s face contorted into the cute stupid expression he made every time he was confused. “relax, the kid probably recorded a live performance on the you-bee-too to feed into his whole hormonal teenage crisis fantasy.”

peter was outraged and opened his mouth to protest. steve cut him off. “kid, young people at your age will go through… ahem… changes. and perhaps that has manifested into a romantic yearning towards this lovely young woman, or uh,” steve blushed. “the desire to… fondue is very common as you develop into a man, and i myself-” steve choked and started coughing to avoid spilling any dangerous blackmail material. bucky patted his friend on the back knowingly.

“hey horndogs,” tony yelled from the front of the crowd, where he was still struggling to drag peter. “can someone turn off the damn music? i don’t want to know what the kid gets up to in his free time, like, at all. especially not in song form.”

“will you all stop calling me kid?” peter begged, finally freeing himself from tony’s *iron* hold. “look, that song’s unreleased, so i couldn’t have just recorded it off youtube. plus, tony already banned me from working with voice AIs after i accidentally broke karen and she wouldn’t stop screaming for like, six days straight.”

natasha raised her eyebrows, but nodded. “and we know the boy isn’t smart enough to come up with those lyrics on his own.”

“hey!” peter defended. “no, actually, yeah. you’re right.”

“what does this have to do with anything?” sam interrupted, throwing his hands in the air. “i personally find it creepier that he got access to the girl’s unreleased music. and don’t even get me started on the shrine-”

“she’s not some girl, she’s my girlfriend!” peter blurted.

steve scoffed. “sure she is. gorgeous, talented, multi-millionare singer-songwriter from brooklyn, mind you, is your girlfriend? what’s next, bucky and sam’s bickering is actually unresolved sexual tension?”

“yes?!” peter hissed incredulously. “you’re just jealous,” he huffed,” and don’t even lie, mr. captain rogers sir. i heard you crying to this is me trying last week. which, by the way, are you okay? anyways, yes, we’re dating. 

“i didn’t ‘photoshop’ the pictures, i- how would i even-? it’s not like there’s conveniently a picture of her in a photo booth holding up a green prop mustache that i can edit myself into. my ‘shrine?’ she sends me previews of her merch and stuff, i’m not gonna throw it out. it’s not like i’m collecting strands of her hair to replicate her dna. we literally just call each other,” peter huffed.

“we call each other, and- and she teaches me to play guitar… she writes songs for me… she has the sweetest cats… and she’s so beautiful and i can’t believe she’s mine…” peter rambled on with glazed eyes and a dopey smile on his face.

steve scowled. 

wanda sighed dreamily. “i can tell how much you like her… your thoughts are so bright every time you think about her…”

“excuse me?” peter raised his eyebrows defensively. “were you… reading my mind?”

“there are no secrets in this tower, underoo.” tony slung a heavy arm over peter. “what’s yours is ours.”

peter squinted. “i’m pretty sure that’s not how the saying- whatever.”

“secrets? please, we all remember when you tried to hide your baby photos. the vents were a stupid idea.” natasha snorted. “anyways, when do we get to meet her?”

“meet who?” peter lied innocently. if the avengers had been this zealous over a couple pictures of her, god knows what they’d do if they ever saw her in person? (and god knows what steve would do.)

“doesn’t matter. play dumb all you want kid, but we both know you’re smarter than that.” tony chattered absentmindedly, but peter went red at the casual compliment. “i saw the tour dates already; peter left ‘em in his room. second to last concert’s in new york, two weeks from now. i’ll pull a couple strings; easy.”

tony took off his yellow-tinted glasses and cleaned the lenses on his shirt. “right. jarvis, cancel all plans for the saturday two weeks from now. and reschedule that dry cleaners appointment to… uh, tuesday. gotta wash the merch before wearing it. oh yeah, and set a reminder for… tonight at 9, to shop for merch.”

tony looked smugly down at peter, who blinked a few times, dazed. “uh, thank you, i guess? thank you, mr. stark.”

in the two weeks leading up to the concert, peter was hearing your voice all over the compound. steve had officially indoctrinated bucky and sam into fans after he’d showed them his favorite album, and now the three of them would frequently squabble over which songs were the best lyrically, melodically, and emotionally. 

peter had seen wanda comforting a crying clint, who’d been listening to all too well on repeat for three days straight. (peter wasn’t sure why. clint was happily married.)

he nearly had a heart attack when natasha cornered him murderously with a perfectly manicured finger pointed threateningly at his chest. (right then, peter tried to come to terms with the fact that in his eulogy, they would reveal that he had died from a fingernail impaling.) it turned out that natasha had come to interrogate peter on how he’d met you, confessing that she wanted girl tips. natasha had also sworn to make his death long and painful if he ever told anybody about it.

what delighted peter the most is when he’d heard tony listening to one of your songs in lieu of his hard metal while working in his lab. and he swore he’d tony humming one of your songs while making breakfast a few days before the concert.

peter didn’t think it was possible, but his high was only multiplied once your merch arrived. it was like a second civil war had broken out. tony had made sure to order multiple of each item, but overlooked the fact that all the avengers wanted the limited edition concert tour t-shirt and an autographed copy of your newest album. he watched from the sidelines as grown adults threw hissy fits over themed notebooks and guitar picks (even though none of them played guitar), knowing he was already supplied thanks to your gifts.

even may, mj, and ned had gotten into the spirit. they’d surprised him one evening, after a tiring mission, by showing him the short video you’d sent them along with 3 vip tickets.

“hi aunt may,” you smiled lovingly at the camera. “thank you so much for… everything, i guess. for raising peter. and letting him see me; i know that it’s not easy or typical, but peter’s job isn’t easy or typical either. i love your son so, so dearly, and i just wanted to let you know that i’d do almost anything for him—whatever his job entails and whatnot. i’ve been on tour, so haven’t seen peter in a while, but i would love to see him again and maybe meet you and peter’s friends as well, which is why i’ve sent you three tickets.”

may cooed and told peter what an angel you were, and ned and mj teased him relentlessly for how stupidly in love he looked when he saw your face in the video.

“you’re down bad, man,” ned laughed, pushing peter’s chest. mj punched peter’s arm, telling him he was “one lucky bastard,” and peter’s only reaction was to whine about how they were manhandling him.

the night before the concert, peter was panicking about what to wear. though tony had been the most annoying about peter’s relationship, he’d come to check on his mentee and tony’s heart panged as he saw the anxiety radiating off of peter.

“what’s wrong, spiderboy?” tony sat on the edge of peter’s bed as the boy examined himself in the mirror. tony patted the space beside him.

“n-nothing, mr. stark.”

tony looked at peter disbelievingly.

peter sighed. “i’m just- she’s a superstar, like, she’s got fans and front-page modeling contracts and everyone loves her. sometimes i just don’t believe that she’d actually love me, y’know? ‘cause she’s her, and i’m just peter. some kid from queens who got bitten by a spider.” peter looked at his feet, eyes burning. “i’m not rich, or famous, or popular—i still get picked on by flash!” 

peter looked up at tony with red-rimmed eyes. “and i’m not like all the fancy celebrities that she’s around—she could have anyone. anyone. i’m pretty sure janelle monáe talked about her in an interview once. janelle. monáe. a-and jojo siwa danced to her music in a tiktok. and i can’t even tell you how many men say they have crushes on her in interviews and stuff… it’s like, i’m never there. we’re both busy, and she’s surrounded by people who are way cooler and smarter and famous-er than me, and it freaks me out, mr. stark.”

tony’s cool demeanor broke upon seeing how genuinely devastated peter was. “underoo, this girl wrote a song for you. hell, i think the most romantic thing i’ve done for pepper recently was eating lunch with her. jarvis? remind me to do something romantic for pepper. she talks to you almost every day, and trust me, i know, because we can hear you jabbering from the common room.

“kid, you work for me. that makes you pretty damn cool. you went to space—even though i said not to, but whatever—and you’re spiderboy. i passed by a street vendor selling knockoff spiderman masks the other day. people love you too. the team loves you. and i guess i think you’re pretty okay too. the girl loves you, spidey. jojo siwa has nothin’ on you.”

peter sniffed. “you really think so?”

“yeah, yeah. don’t push it.” tony went to leave peter’s room, but not before pointing to peter’s closet and winking. “it’s a secret.”

he opened the closet doors, shuffling through a couple of shirts you'd left behind and one of your cardigans. it was the same as always. but in his peripherally, peter caught sight of one of tony’s $200 smarthangers beholding the last limited edition tour shirt that had “mysteriously” gone missing. (bucky and sam were accusing each other for days.) he ran his hands over the cotton fabric, which was softer than he’d expected. tony must’ve dry-cleaned it for him beforehand. peter smiled, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

peter fiddled with the hem of his shirt the entire ride to the venue. happy picked him, may, ned, and mj up in the limo a bit earlier than the rest of the team was planning on leaving so they could get settled into their vip seats.

the venue was smaller than he’d expected. you’d played in much larger spaces before, with huge audiences and grand stages with special effects, but tonight was almost intimate. peter’s heart was beating until he felt it in his throat and may squeezed his hand reassuringly. he’d heard you sing on facetime, or in the videos you’d sent to him, but never live. he thought he might’ve been more scared than you were.

as the venue filled, peter’s anxiety only increased. mj and ned were bubbling happily, and peter caught the avengers waving to him from a section just a bit further from the stage. he was secretly grateful that they weren’t up front with him. maybe it was selfish, but he wanted you to himself tonight.

when the lights dimmed and ambient music begin filling the air, peter watched as you slowly rose from a platform under the stage until you were fully revealed, holding a sleek black guitar, beaming so brightly that peter was pretty sure you wouldn’t need the stage lights.

the cheering of the crowd was dull in his ears. he was mesmerized by the way you moved, adjusting the vintage microphone in front of you. it was only you on stage, illuminated by a spotlight, standing in front of your microphone like you were at home on a stage in front of hundreds of people.

you needed no introduction before you began singing a song that peter hadn’t heard before. 

vintage tee, brand new phone. high heels on cobblestones. when you are young they assume you know nothing…

it was your first date. peter had exchanged his science pun shirts for an old band tee, and you’d complimented him immediately, revealing that you were also a fan. you’d dropped and cracked your phone on the sidewalk that night, stumbling over a bump in the concrete and falling into peter. you’d made a stupid joke, “it looks like i’ve fallen for you,” and peter had laughed like you were the funniest person in the world.

but i knew you, dancing in your levi’s, drunk under a streetlight, i… i knew you, hand under my sweatshirt, baby kiss it better, i… and when i felt like i was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said i was your favorite.

it was the night you’d first kissed. it had started raining, both of your socks were all wet, and the sweatshirt peter had given you to wear after you’d gotten cold was soaked through. you’d pasted your hands under his shirt onto his chest, claiming you needed warmth. he did the same. 

to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed… you drew stars around my scars but now i’m bleedin’... 

it was you and him, trying not to be seen. you and him, avoiding cameras and crowds—hiding behind tinted car windows and hole-in-the-wall restaurants. it was you and him: when he took you swinging right before you left to tour and you scraped your knees from the rough landing. you and him: peter kissing your cuts and apologizing profusely about giving you scars right before your concert. you and him, when you’d pulled him into your chest and told him you’d sacrifice anything to be under the stars with him.

‘cause i knew you, steppin’ on the last train, marked me like a bloodstain, i… i knew you, tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy, i… 

you and him: when he’d hugged you goodbye in a quiet corner at the train station and wiped away your tears from under your sunglasses. you and him: when peter watched as the spiderman bandaids on your knees that he’d given you last night as you bled walked further and further away. you and him: when he’d called you and cried after a difficult mission, telling you how he thought he might have not made it and how the thought of losing you—his darling—was what kept him going. you and him: how you’d wanted to cancel your tour and see him again, but how he insisted that you keep going, that the both of you kept going.

i knew i’d curse you for the longest time, chasin’ shadows in the grocery line;  i knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired, and you’d be standin’ in my front porch light… 

you and him: how you’d fought halfway through your tour, when he didn’t understand why you didn’t want to go public with your relationship. you and him: how you’d gone grocery shopping with him but dropped his hand and left as soon as cameras appeared. you and him: how he’d told you that the secrecy of the relationship might be thrilling for you, but was hurting him. you and him: how he’d promised that no matter how difficult your relationship got, you’d always have a home at his and may’s apartment.

and i knew you’d come back to me, and you’d come back to me… and you’d come back… 

next to peter, ned and mj hollered excitedly and jumped up and down; may screamed and clapped. peter hadn’t budged, staring up at you with awe and pride as your strumming faded out. he would’ve been content staring at you, glowing as you immersed in your element, until ned elbowed him.

you tapped the microphone a couple of times and the stage lights began to reveal the landscape behind you; a small band, a few background singers, and a simple, natural scene.

you cleared your throat. “thank you, new york!”

peter had never heard a sound sweeter than your giggle as you watched the audience cheer and wave their glowsticks.

“thank you! this is the second to last concert of my tour, and it’s been such a privilege to play for you. you guys are the first to hear my new single, cardigan, that i wrote while on tour.”

there was more screaming and your eyes scanned the audience for something that you evidently hadn’t found, given the nearly imperceptible frown on your face.

“uh, this song is really important to me, ‘cause it’s about someone i really love. i haven’t seen him in a while, and god, i miss him, and i hope he knows that i’d always come back to him…” you sniffled, and the audience cooed.

 “y’know, sometimes you have those moments when you’re paralyzed or when you’re scared, so you keep trying to live in the past, where things are easy and you already know how everything ends. but if you take the easy route, trying to protect yourself from the unknown, you end up losing what could’ve been. all the new moments that you’ll never get to have because you’re too busy living in old memories. ‘cause when you stay behin, the people you love might want to move forward, take risks, and explore even better things. so you might lose them.”

your eyes searched the audience once more. “and i’ve learned so much from being on tour with you all. it’s very- if you don’t know, everything that goes on behind the scenes in the music industry is very… intentional. every word, action, public appearence—it’s all planned. but i met this boy; or rather, i fell in love with this boy, and he makes me want to say, ‘fuck the plans.’” the audience roared and you laughed jubiantly alongside them. 

“i don’t know if i’m allowed to swear, actually. it’s fine,” you admitted. “anyways, he makes me want to take chances, even if that terrifies me. ‘cause honestly, it did; still does. i hope he’s here today. i can’t see him from here, but his name is peter. peter parker.”

there were cheers and murmurs, and peter heard heard thor somewhere in the back roar, “the spi- the small man is here!” thor pointed vigorously to the front, where peter was standing and blushing profusely. there was a bit of sweat beading on his forehead, and sure, the body heat from the crowd was pretty hot, but the fire in his cheeks had nothing to do with that.

peter watched as you walked towards the edge of the stage to where thor was pointing, shouting back at him with a quick banter that the audience seemed to love. peter cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, praying you could hear it from amidst the crowd, because he couldn’t even hear himself.

your eyes widened and you burst into a grin as you locked eyes with peter. “oh my god, is it- peter?”

peter nodded, face contorting into surprise and then adoration and then determination as the both of you rushed forward to try and touch each other. you fell to your knees and reached your hand out to peter, and he took is tightly between both of his. you mouthed his name so that nobody but him could see it, and under the harsh stage lights, peter could clearly see the watery tears collecting at the corner of your eyes that you carefully dabbed away as to not smudge any of your makeup.

“peter—this is peter, my boyfriend!” you announced to the crowd, holding his hand up. “is there any way you can come up-” you looked around for stairs.

peter smirked, slinging himself onto the stage with ease. he’d scaled buildings before. this was no challenge, especially because he had an incentive to work towards.

“oh, you’re just climbing- that works too!” you offered him your hands to pull him to his feet and enveloped him into a hug. you’d left him a bottle of your perfume before you’d left, but nothing could compare to actually holding you in your arms. you smelled like sweat and hairspray, but he could still catch hints of your perfume and the shampoo you loved.

when you let go of him, still keeping one of your hands in his, peter snuck a glance at the audience. from the stage, the venue seemed twice as large. he could see may, mj, and ned waving and screaming at him, and a bit further back, he could see thor waving his hands maniacally and tony, who had somehow managed to clear out a spot, actually smiling.

“what am i supposed to do?” peter hissed to you, smiling awkwardly at the audience as his heart pounded. fighting robot-alien-ancient-powerful-gods was so much easier than this.

“kiss me?” you whispered, eyes glittering. peter didn’t need to be told twice.

“so i’m peter? and you’re wendy darling?”

“mhm,” you sighed, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“i’ll never lose you, darling. i’ll always come back to you.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

peter parker masterlist | main masterlist

taglist: (comment to be added)

@bambamwolf87 @yourallihave @im-a-slut-for-fluff

bonus:

flash’s fanfiction

the midtown group chat reacts to your relationship

[our-destiny]

If you’re comfortable with it can I request a blurb or headcannons (whatever you prefer) with yandere Bucky Barnes with a darling who never wears anything that goes above the knee but eventually they get comfortable (assuming they haven’t been yoinked at this point) with Bucky that they take a chance and wear something that’s above the knee, and they just have a lot of SH scars on their thighs. I struggle with it still so it’d be v comforting.

That or a darling with an eating disorder because they feel like they don’t deserve to eat, or others deserve it more than them (I also struggle with this) (multiple skill issues on my part👎)

Tyyy!

-💪🌝

Thank you for sending in a request, in this post I'll do SH scars but I'll do another post for an ED, and I'll link it here when I'm done. Anyway, we're gonna do headcanons! <33 Also I hope this helps comfort you bb

Yandere Bucky sees GN!Darling's self harm scars

Trigger Warnings: Self harm (both past and present), implied suicide, stalking, kidnapping, Bucky's a perv and watches you change + a sappy note at the end from yours truly - if I missed anything please let me know

Want to read more of my work? Check out my Masterlist

. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ . *  ✯. ☪︎* ☁︎. . * ✰ .· ☁︎ .

First off, our baby boy here definitely stalks you, and has probably seen your scars when he'd watches you get changed (little pervert). So when he sees you wearing something that shows them, he won't be very surprised. Chances are he'll just gloss over them and not mention them to hopefully make you more comfortable. But let's talk about how he first felt when he saw them.

Bucky was absolutely heartbroken when he saw them. You hurt yourself? Why? He thinks you're the best person in the world, he would move Heaven and Earth for you, what made you do that? He's not judging you, no he would never. He's just worried.

He probably stays awake at night for the first few days when he finds out. Worrying if he's gonna lose you, or if he's done something wrong. His stalking gets more intense, wanting to make sure you don't do it again, or hurt yourself worse.

If they're fresh ones he thinks about confronting you. About giving you a long speech about how he loves you, trying to intervene and help. But then he remembers that you don't know he knows. He shouldn't know. So that idea gets scrapped. So now he has two options.

1. Take you home with him (he doesn't like the word ''kidnap'') so he can physically stop you, even if he has to tie you up or lock you somewhere.

Or 2. Physically stop you by just taking away whatever you're using to hurt yourself. Knives would be the easiest, he'd just take them when you weren't looking, and if you bought more he'd take them, too. But if it's something else (your own nails, burning yourself, hitting yourself) he'd have to do something else. In that case, he'd be forced to take you, to keep you by his side and under his watch so you didn't hurt the person he loves any more.

Either way he is incredibly worried, and would act as soon as possible to try and help you from the shadows. He'd also insist that he's here for you, that you can call him whenever you want, even if it's the middle of the night, your safety comes above anything of his. He just wants to make sure you stay by his side, and happy. Is that so bad?

If they were old ones and healed up he wouldn't be as worried but still heartbroken.

Even the thought you did something like that just makes him want to cradle you and kiss your cute face all over, reassure you for hours on end. But he can't, because you don't know that he knows.

Either way, he becomes a lot more clingy and reassuring, telling you he's here for you if you should ever need him and showering you with even more love. Again, once you actually showed him, he wouldn't mention it or make a big deal out of it, not wanting to make you uncomfortable or pressure you into talking. But if you do want to talk, he's all ears. And has snacks and cuddles at the ready to comfort you.

As always, don't hesitate to reach out if you are struggling, there are many resources available to help you, pkease use them. Even if you feel no one cares, I care. And I love you. So take care of yourselves <33

[gensokyogarden]

it's almost new years and you guys have been there for me so much during this year so tonight I do want to make a post trying to recognize a lot of people within the community. My head is pretty fuzzy right now so I fear I'm gonna forget some folks, in which case I'm honestly genuinely very sorry, but know that so many of you have touched my life in a positive way. Since I wasn't fully around on Thanksgiving either, consider this my chance of telling you all that I'm thankful for you too.

Some of you may not see this. Either because you don't follow this blog or you've been offline for a while. But I hope even if you don't see this post you still are able to understand my feelings towards you.

At the moment I would prefer if people don't reblog this. I'm not the most comfortable with my out of character thoughts being spread around. However if you know someone in this but think they won't see it on their own you are welcome to link them to this. Also if you're mentioned in this and you REALLY want to save it, I guess I can't stop you from reblogging.

Ruler: It feels like anytime I'm in a rough spot you always have kind words for me. With how often you're in character I just deeply respect you always breaking it for me. You've helped me to feel safe in the community during a very difficult time. That means the world to me.

Annette-mun: I know we only met a year ago but you have become an incredibly close friend to me. Being honest, I rank you as one of my best friends. I have fun with all of the boardgames we play together as well as the connections we've made between a lot of our muses. I always want to recognize all the work you put in sending me those ask spams. I'm sorry that because of head stuff I haven't been able to answer most of the new set. It makes me feel as if I've failed to respect the effort that you have put in. But I hope some day in the future I can fix that. I'm very glad we're friends.

Vel: You're a really funny friend and I care about you a lot. I feel that sometimes I'm not sensitive enough to things that may bother you and worry I may have upset you at times in the past. If I have, I'm really sorry. You write Kyouko really well and your ocs are also quite fun. Thanks for letting me make Nagi. Sometimes you say things that make me feel you are self-concious about your blog and other things. So I just wanna reiterate that I am in your corner and here for you whenever you need.

Slap: I was shy towards you at first, I'll admit. It may not seem it but I'm kinda a shy person in general and I'm nervous to warm up to people, but I'm glad you joined the Touhou community. You're a really funny guy. I love reading your posts on my dash and now I also love playing the occasional game with ya. Your ability to do voice and to commit to bits is astounding. I'm really glad I met you.

Argo: You're someone who is always there for me. I really appreciate that. I left the Fate community for personal reasons years ago now. I'm very glad that, despite that, I still ended up meeting you. Because you've been such a good friend to me. I'm glad that you've gotten somewhat into Touhou because it gives us more room to interact. You've really been there when I've needed you. Often you apologize and say you don't do enough but you've done so much for me. You're special to me.

Hoche: Through all the struggles I've gone through you have been very supportive of me. You have been a level headed voice of support and advice. I think that if it were not for you I would have been worse off in many different circumstances. Aside from that you are a very talented writer. I find myself stunned by some of what I've seen you write. Thank you for everything you've done for me and for being my friend.

Zane: You always show me cool warhammer things and that's special to me. I also really like Nyalter. I love ocs in general, but I think you have done a phenomenal job in giving her a life and story that is uniquely hers. I find it to be quite inspirational and it really pushes me to work harder on my own original characters.

Amber: I have mentioned this before but you were the first person to welcome me into the community. That is always going to be special to me. During that period when you left I teared up a fair amount because it felt like things would always be so different with you gone. I'm very glad that you came back. I really like all your ocs. I'm glad Eri isn't gone but I'm also really happy to be seeing the opportunity for your other ocs to shine as well. They're all fun, but I'm particularly a fan of Anna.

Kay: You've given me some of the advice that has helped me the most when I have been in a bad spot. I can't thank you enough for that. You've stopped me from making really bad decisions. You've also just been a fun and supportive friend. I am very interested in your Reimu and the story arc you've created with the hakurei god.

Swigg: I know we haven't talked much lately. I think our schedules don't line up the best. But you recently mentioned trying to get back into Tumblr. I'll be very happy if you do. Your ocs are fun and you put a lot of love and care into the canon characters you write. I think you add a lot to the community.

Sethy: I didn't know it for a while but back in the Fate community I followed your arknights blog and admired you there. I'm super glad I have gotten the opportunity to meet you and to become your friend. I think that all the things you do are so cool. Like you're a vtuber that's incredible. I always wanted to stream but could never work up the courage. You also know the creators of all the walfas I love. I just think its so cool. You have such a history within the community. I know that you suffered a very bad tragedy this year. I don't believe I was in a good enough headspace at that time to have provided you with the support a friend should have given and I deeply regret that. I just hope you're doing well.

Noka: I think you're a real sweetie and also really funny. I'm glad to see you posting on your sfw blog a lot more again because I really love seeing you on my dash. I'm hoping that we can do a lot more threads in the future because its always fun to write our muses together.

Minnie: Maybe the only person with the same brain worms as me. I know that lately we have not talked much but I hope you are doing well. I just wanna say that I really love your art.

Aurora: My apprentice and buddy, hehe. I know I haven't been around much but I want you to know that I'm glad you decided to join the rpc. You're so full of ideas and kindhearted. You have such phenomenal oc ideas and have such a talent for making danmaku. I think someday you may be the centerpiece of the community.

Sats: We haven't spoken too often but like Amber you were one of the first folks to interact with me in the community. Alongside that I find your writing to be phenomenal. As are your headcanons. The work that you put in to research, especially on folklore, is just so inspirational. It drives me to want to learn everything I can.

Momi: Hey Momi. It's been a while since you've been around and I miss you a lot. I know we still message on discord occasionally so its not like I can't reach out to ya. But I just miss you being in the rpc a lot. You were such a great writer and always doing something fun. But I imagine you've got a whole bunch of difficult challenges ahead of you. I've heard the career you're pursuing is really rough. I hope that you're thriving in it though.

Sarience: You've always been a good pal to me. I have a lot of fun writing with Neka in both forms as well as your other muses. There's a lot of asks from you I haven't answered yet. I'm really sorry about that. It feels disrespectful. Still I hope to be able to do more in the future. Thank you for always being interested in interacting with my muses, even when I was very new and unestablished.

Kyo: I really really like everytime that I see you on my dash. You write your muses in such a fun and engaging way. I hope that we get to interact a lot more in the future. I also know you've started something new in the last few months, not gonna be specific since I'm not sure if you've shared that part of your personal life on Tumblr, but I wish you the best of luck at it. I think you're going to succeed hard!

Ran: Ran I guess I just first wanna say I consider you a really good and special friend. When we've spoken you've often alluded to social anxiety and feeling like you've said embarassing things. So I want to restate that I've never been put off by what you've said and I love talking to you. As well as roleplaying and doing boardgames. I have so much fun pairing our muses up our causing wacky hijinks. I haven't seen you on your blogs much lately. Maybe I've just missed you but if not I hope you return to the rpc soon. It's not the same place without you.

Metal: You've been a long time friend to me by this point. Longer than a lot of folks on this list. I really appreciate that a lot. We haven't talked too much lately but I hope you're doing well. I also know not all of our fandoms sync up but I'm always down to interact anyways.

Nep: Hey Nep I haven't really seen you on Tumblr lately. I'm hoping that's just because we've been active at different times but if not I hope you're back soon. If you're not, I hope you're happy wherever you are. I think that you're real fun to write with and you've got original characters I'm excited to do much more with. I also believe that you had an event while I was gone that I'll hopefully be able to catch up on sometime soon.

Koi: I know I've not been around much lately but I hope that you're doing well. I've not really been in the headspace for horror lately but you're very good at bringing a unique horror flair to things.

Plumber: Hey we don't really personally know each other all that well but you're always making fun and wacky posts that I love to see on my dash. It feels like the rpc would be a lot less fun without you here. You also seem to be an incredibly kind person.

Kaali: A friend I've had for quite a while now but that I don't talk to enough. Sorry about that I'm just genuinely not the best with conversations. I have mad respect for all the work you put into your original characters and into your ideas. Like you really pull out all the stops.

Awoo: I've admired your ability to create interesting and fun original characters a lot. Several decisions I've made to develop my skills as a roleplayer have been inspired by you. I know you've had some mental health struggles of your own and I haven't heard from you lately so I hope you're doing alright wherever you are.

Sades: During some really difficult moments you were there for me when not many other people were. I'm always going to appreciate that. You're also the reason I got into Touhou. Which means that without you, chances are I woule not have met the vast majority of people here or found a community where I feel I belong.

Cobalt: I am always ecstatic when I see your posts on my dash. I love your Chen and think that you're a lot of fun. I have not been around much but when I have been I've seen you talking about things like not feeling you have much to do in the community. I can't make decisions for you but I do want to say that I think you are a fundamental piece of our rpc. I would be sad not having you here.

Teeps: I was shy about approaching you at first but you're incredibly cool. A lot of the fandoms you are in I'm not in but your posts get me interested in them anyways. Like I have no clue who that green sonic character is but you give her such an energy. I'm real glad to know ya. As far as the 2hu rpc goes you've been around a lot longer than me and I love hearing your own personal that you've developed.

Cait: I need to pop in and catch your streams more. I think that you're very cool to see on the dash. I especially love the way that you write your Sakuya. I really cherrish her interactions with my Reimu.

Sev: First of all. A while ago you sent me a very kind message wishing me well in my mental health struggles. I was not in the best place then so I did not appropriately respond. So thank you for that it truly meant a lot to me. I believe that you put a stunning amount of work into the characters you write, giving them so much detail and layers. Its inspiring and I just really want to appreciate you for it.

Hanafuda: You haven't been around much and last we spoke you alluded to a rough spot. So I hope if you ever see this that you're doing well. It was always fun having another Miko on the dash for mine to banter with. I also looked forward to seeing more of the other muses you played. Maybe someday you'll return.

Frozen: Everytime I see one of your posts it makes me smile. Honestly you've got some of the funniest jokes in the fandom. Some I don't get but I still feel they'd be hilarious if I got them. Also I have noticed you often commission art for other people. I find that to be a very sweet and kindhearted thing. So I consider you to be the heart of the community.

Fox: I don't know you very well but I've recently seen your multimuse popping up and it seems very fun. So I want to get to know ya in the future.

Chiru: We've not really spoken but I think you make some really great posts. Very well written headcanons and roleplays. So I just wanna say I'm always happy seeing you on my dash.

Draco: you're not in the touhou fanbase but you have been a long time friend. I haven't heard much from you lately so I hope you're doing well. I'm here if ya need me.

Sturm: I think that all your fairy posts are incredibly. You truly are a star of my dashboard. Hopefully someday we'll interact more. I'd like that.

Xana: You seem to have so much lore for your blogs, its really cool. It seems you've been around a long while so there's a lot of history. Someday I'd like to sit down and hear all about it from you. I also find your writing to be quite fun.

Jacob: we don't interact too much but I'm always excited to see someone posting walfas images. So that has always made you stick out in my dash and brighten it. Hope you're doing well.

Geisthonoredferry: As of yet, I don't believe we've interacted. But you're always liking my posts thst's something I really appreciate. Hopefully sometime I can get to know your oc.

Carp: Last I saw you were in a rough spot so I hope things are well now. You're newer to my dash but you seem very kind hearted and jovial. Also your ocs sre red as hell and go've got good face claim tastes.

Crim: You're a real cool friend with a lot of cool ideas. I love any interactions that our muses have together. Although my favorite is Kutaka/Eiki because it's somehow both a very obvious ship and yet a rare one. I think that they are very cute together. I also like the sisterhood of Reimu and Kisume. It's an unexpected but fun dynamic.

Mugenri-mun: I don't believe I know your screen name but you've been real supportive of me through my hardship and gave me a person to speak to. I would not be in as good a place without you. Also I'm glad someone is repping Len'en.

Kcmeiji & Closedheartedgirl: I wanted to note you both as you are both Komeiji blogs thay popped up and then disappeared while I've been got on hiatus. I just think that's a bit disappointing. The Komeiji are some of my favorites.

That's about all I have to say. It was kind of tough to word it all out but those are things I want y'all to know.

[sunnydayroleplay]

Hi! How are you feeling?I know you're taking a break, but I couldn't get this off my mind. And I would kill to have it written. You can ignore this if you need, but I'm gonna put it down regardless. What is your take on Joseph's childhood? Did he runaway? Why did he? How did his parents treat him if he did indeed have parents? Why is he the way he is now? How much of Jack is truly in Joseph? Or better yet, how much of Joseph is left in Jack?

Hi! I'm okay, I'm doing much better! Thank you for asking. I've thought about this idea before, and I was reminded of a few posts I've seen. So this post might be slightly influenced ehe. I'll edit links when I find them!! Until then, let's write it! Contents Inside: Child Neglect, Marital Problems, Abuse, Alcoholism, Drug Use, Murder.

This is all pure speculation and theory! Don't mistake it for true lore :3 ______________________________________________________________

Before we go into what Joseph's childhood was like before he ran away, let's begin to what is was before. Now when it comes to this, I have two ideas. Before it all went downhill, Joseph was a normal child. His parents still madly in love since the day they met and wedded; treating him well, and wonderful. His school-life normal, good grades, a decent amount of peers. He had hobbies, likes and dislikes. It was alright, and "just alright" was perfect for him. Unfortunately, in the worst case scenarios, perfect doesn't last forever. Now, with this, we could go a series of ways. The parents begin to struggle financially. Possibly someone got laid off from work, possible infidelity. There's so much we could go on about. But I'll leave your opinions to you. For now, we'll say that the marriage started getting rocky, jobs gotten and lost. His parents couldn't afford to have a kid anymore. So they started neglecting him. Putting him up for adoption was a no-go. What would their parents think. Or all their peers the next time they got a job and suddenly everything went alright? They'd be right back to where they once were. They began to neglect Joseph once he was at the age where he could talk decently somewhat, express his needs, and know basic life necessities. We're talking 10-12 years old here. Joseph began struggling both mentally and physically, due to the constant fighting going around between his parents. Berating from his own mother every time he walked into the door. His dad reaching for and grabbing anything within his reach to beat Joseph black and blue when he didn't do something in record breaking time. Whenever he walked out of his room, he's walking on thin ice because he doesn't know if it'll be a literal slap on the wrist, or being locked out for days. With the constant shitty home life, his school life was affected enormously. His grades went down, and he just got around with the wrong people. He was like any "out of place" child. All he truly wanted was attention and some sort of leverage to lean against. Someone to just listen because he's used to being ignored. By the time he was in high-school, he got into some worse shit. We can only assume that he got into drugs, underage drinking, and a smoking addiction that followed him into adulthood. Hence the line: “You’ve changed. You’re clean now. You can be whatever you wanna be.” Coming from Jack in the ‘Bad Yogurt’ Ending. I mean, someone doesn’t change their entire identity without a reason. Now, as it was mentioned in the tapes (In the official game itself), in an “interview” with the the *other* Joseph asks “Mr.Haberdae” about his tattoos. He mentions how Haberdae most likely went through a troublesome childhood, wanted to lash out, stand out from everyone else, and Haberdae more or less agrees.

But before we get into his adulthood-death part, lets go back to ‘running away’. I believe he ran away around 15-16. The reason I don’t think he ran way any younger was because of pure fear. Being 10-12, you don’t know any better really. You’re scared to leave because you know you have no where else to go. Because of the environment you grew up in, who would want to take a “dumb, useless child”? No one. He didn’t run away that young, because he was scared that he was going to go through so much worse. But now? Hes a teenager, he knows sure of a lot more, he has more opinions and more knowledge of the outside world. “No one cares, not even your parents.”

The sun is getting ready to set, the sky is just a beautiful orange sunsetty color. The clouds wispy, and the air freshly crisp. In the middle of it all, the sun hiding behind him, Joseph walking down his neighborhood sidewalk thinking to himself. His hands in his pockets, looking around side to side as if he’s just waiting for his parents to rush out the door and chase him down, knowing full well they won’t. His school backpack now filled with clothes instead of stationary. Two water bottles stuck at the sides, with about 5.78 in change. He didn’t have much, but it was enough to catch a bus, maybe hitchhike a ride. Didn’t matter where, but he just had to go. His mind raced with an array of thoughts and emotion, but he had to do it. He wanted to get as far away as possible from this wretched town.

He knows can’t live on 5 dollars for the rest of his (unknowingly short lived) life. He’s gotta do something. And he’s got a few options. Go door to door where asking if someone needs help with anything for some pocket change, try and get a job that’ll take him, pickpocket. And he has tried. Door to door didn’t work well unless it was a widowed old lady, Joseph gave up trying to find a job real quick, but pick pocketing was a surprising success. As soon as Joseph turned 18, finding leverage and begging for forgiveness if he was caught wouldn't be so easy. Joseph would need to find out how to get off of the streets and into his own sheets. Without a way to get a job, at least a good paying one, he had to do something. It's possible he could've traded sexual favors for either some food in his mouth, a bed to sleep in for the rest of the night, and/or once again some quick cash. Anything he could do to get by, right? We don't know when he auditioned for the role of Sunny Day Jack, or how old he was when he was accepted. Let alone when the show was even created. So who knows how long he was passing his body for a couple dollars. I mean, depending on how long, he most likely desensitized to the idea of sex somewhat, mainly because he's the one initiating it for some cash once again. (That's not to say he's not desensitized to being the one asked about having sex. ) But it's still a sensible topic considering he only did it because he needed to get by, not because he wanted to have fun. In the interview, live on air! He's asked an array of questions depicting of his body, and why he chose to be a host of a kids show. He was generally asked question that were probably very uncomfortable because they not only dug through those sensible topics, but because he's supposed to be in character for a kids show! Kids all around the world tuning in to hear their favorite character. But we're getting off track here. The moral of the story is that Joseph was a "bad" person, who just wanted to change for the better. For his own sake. When it comes to the question, "How much of Joseph is in Jack?" I think that it's about 50/50. Or Joseph is still Jack. Jack is a character. He's this wholesome, perfect person in which everyone looks up too. He's the leader of the Sunny Time Crew. Never makes a mistake. He's a helper, he's just perfect in any way. In the game, you think that someone like Jack would think about murdering anyone in his way? Let alone murder? Have sex with you? Of course not! He works with kids for crying out loud! All this NSFW content is not even a thing in the Sunny Time Universe. Joseph is the man who plays the character. He's any normal person, he makes mistakes, he's not the person who you'd think that would never even make it through the door of the studio that produces this show. Joseph could kill if he wanted too, he has had sex, NSFW experiences were definitely a thing for him. The Jack we know is a basic fusion in a way. All the good traits of Jack, his wholesomeness, his ability to never make mistakes, to be perfect. That's all Jack. But the other side, the killing, the ability to hurt, to be physically passionate. That's all Joseph. The Jack we know wouldn't be the same without Joseph. That love we get from him wouldn't be the same. It would be empty in a way. Jack love everybody! But Joseph loves you. Joseph loves specifically you. He chose to give and fill you with all the love he ever could. Without Joseph “ in “ Jack personality wise, the Jack in the game we all love wouldn’t be the same. That love wouldn’t be as personalized.

In the end they’re the same person, but without the other, differences will be made.

[naranjapetrificada]

Ooooh thank you for playing with me! I enjoyed your answers!

You write both Ed and Stede beautifully, but I totally get what you mean about getting into Ed's hornet's nest!

Funny, I don't really listen to music as I write because I get too distracted, but I love linking songs to scenes. Weird.

Awww... I'm freakishly proud that my words could make you cry. You'll never know how much your comments and support mean to me.

I made myself cry when I finished AWoTT because I hate the last few chapters. They did a real disservice to the story because I rushed and tried to write something readers would like instead of what I'd done for most of it. On top of that, I ruined the Buttons/Jeanne d'arc ending because I worried that it would seem like I was ripping off the show. They were both supposed to turn into birds. I can't face trying to fix it. (If you haven't read the end, don't waste your time, and if you did and were disappointed we are on the same page.)

Eeek! Sorry for the ramble... xoxoxo

Before I get to the actual reply to this ask: if y'all haven't been treated to A World of Tempestuous Things, one of the top-five best fics in the fandom, I'm gonna need you to drop everything and read it the way I did whenever I got a notification that a new chapter had been posted.

Re: the ask itself:

I'm sorry you're dissatisfied with how it turned out but if it's any consolation it felt like a fitting end to me! The first time I tried to read the final chapter I literally couldn't for all the tears in my eyes because I knew it was ending. I no longer have a neutral relationship with any of the songs you used for the section titles, especially "Don't Dream It's Over" because god if that didn't just get at the root of everything I felt about the fact that your fic existed. I miss your versions of Ed and Stede terribly and it's gonna be a tall order for anyone but David Jenkins to make them half so indelible to me. I felt like I was watching actual people I loved sail away forever.

I started reading it around when it was halfway through I think? It shouldn't have immediately worked for me when I first started. I was burning out a bit on reunion fics and I thought of myself as someone who didn't love when fics had too many OCs and those OCs got a lot of time in the story, not to mention my strict no-WIP rule, but whatever made me read it must have been fate or something. That and the reflectiveness of the characters and the times the prose knocked me off my feet and the usually gutting historical interstitials (I still think about/am haunted by the Chopin one at least once a week) and the lines I took screenshots of to send to my therapist. It's so much greater than the sum of its parts, and fiction like that can change things about a person's preconceived notions and personal tastes forever.

If I tried to list the things about it that are going to stay with me well, it would literally be easier for everyone if I just c/p the entire fic into this reply. It felt like such a journey that readers got to go on with both the characters and with the story on a like, metatextual level? It completely changed my relationship with high-quality WIPs. Now that I'm writing my first longfics I'm thinking about character and framing devices and POV voice in entirely new ways because I was fortunate enough to get the chance to read it. It's criminal that it's not in the top 5 most read fics in the fandom and I will not stop recommending it until that happens.

Even if you're not happy with the ending I think your readers are. This reader certainly is. And if you did want to go back and change it someday I have zero doubts that I'll be happy with that too. The fandom is richer for having your work in it.

[otakusheep15]

The Obey Me fandom is back at it again lol

This is probably the longest post I've ever made, and I honestly don't know why it got so long to begin with. As a brief summary, someone on Reddit insulted Levi, talking about how he's a creep and no one would like him if he existed irl, and they said we need to raise out standards. However, they didn't ever mention how none of the brothers would be good people irl. Also, this is a fictional game with fictional characters who aren't real to begin with, so all of their argument is kind of invalid. And this is my response. The Reddit post is under the cut in paragraph two.

For those of you who want to know, the full post (excluding these two) is a total of about 15 paragraphs. Some are longer than others, but most of them are pretty decent lengths. I know not many people will read the whole thing through, and I get that. If you go to the Reddit post, most people in the comments do a better job of making these arguments in fewer words, so I'd recommend that if you'd prefer.

Update: they deleted the post, but you can still see the comments, so you can have a basic idea of what was said.

So, basically, I saw a Reddit post about Leviathan. Now, for those of you who don't know, Levi is my favorite Obey Me character, so I was naturally interested in this thread. The original post was about how no one would like Leviathan if he wasn't a hot anime boy. Like, if he weren't conventionally attractive, most people would see him as a pervert, a creep, and a weirdo. Then, the post ended with saying that we should raise our standards if we like Leviathan.

Full link here if you wanna take a look for yourself. Most of the comments on that post kind of said what I'm about to say now, so if you don't wanna read all of this post, I highly recommend reading some of the comments, as they do a good job of explaining most of my points.

Anyways, this whole post just completely misses the point of not only Levi's character, but the entire Obey Me game as a whole. The OP specifically goes and attacks Levi for his personality, but, in reality, if any of the brothers were real people or not conventionally attractive, they would be some of the worst, most hated people I can think of. All of them have their own red flags and bad personality traits, but that's part of the fun. The game is a form of escapism that shows us idealized versions of these people that would usually give most people major icks. I'm gonna go over just a few of my own personal icks with each character just to give y'all some examples, but just know that I'm not attacking anyone's fave, I'm just trying to make a point.

Lucifer has a very dominating personality. He acts like he's the most important one in the room, and he does his best to control you, the player. In a few interactions with him, you're not given the option to say no to his advances, and it makes me (and some others) uncomfortable. Plus, he has this whole thing about how he fully believes we can't love anyone more than we love him, which is a weird mentality. If Lucifer were real, he would be seen as one of those creepy guys who try and manipulate you into a relationship and then fully expects you to listen to whatever he says at all times. That's not attractive, that's creepy and a major red flag, at least from my perspective.

Mammon is way too overprotective of the player. Whenever we try and interact with one of his brothers and/or another character, he constantly cockblocks us and forces out of a romantic interaction. In real life, this behavior would be a red flag on so many levels, and it would just be seen as downright possessiveness. That level of possessiveness is not attractive. Not to mention, Mammon has a major money problem. He's constantly in debt and gambling all of his money away. He has a straight up addiction to gambling and spending money, and that is not healthy. Plus, he always seems to have beef with someone over money, and it's usually us or one of his brothers who has to bail him out of it. That's not attractive, and no one in real life would want to date someone with this much trouble with money.

Since Levi was the main focus of the Reddit thread, I'm going to skip him for now and come back later because I have some points I'd like to make.

Satan has severe anger issues, and I think we all know how well that translates into a relationship in real life. He very easily has the chance to become an abuser of some kind, especially a violent one. Not to mention, Satan has horrendous amounts of daddy issues, and that's all he can talk about half the time. These two things are a terrible combination, and it would not work out well in real life. If Satan ever got angry at a partner, who knows what he could do to them. He also has a bad habit of bringing in stray cats without any warning. These cats could have diseases, they could be violent, or they could be someone else's cat entirely. But he'll refuse to part with the cat, and it'll be pretty hard to get him to let it go. This last part is more speculation than anything, but he also seems like the manipulative type. Like, he's very intelligent, and he seems like he has the ability to easily manipulate someone if he wanted.

Asmodeus is very flirtatious, and he flirts with a lot of people. Look, I love Asmo so very much, and I will defend him with my life, but I'm making this point because it's necessary to my argument. Asmo would be a cheater in real life. He'd be a huge cheat, or, at the very least, he's want some kind of open relationship. Now, I'm not bashing on open relationships. However, I don't think Asmo would effectively communicate properly enough to have a healthy open relationship. He'd go out without telling you, hook up with people without telling you, and I could even see him try setting you up with other people without your permission. Not to mention, he's famous, and he has a lot of fans. Sometimes, he puts those fans first instead of you, and that can make anyone jealous. Not to mention, he has a habit of being very vain and attention seeking. he also prioritizes himself above all else, including you. He always compliments you, but then ends it with something along the lines of "but you're still not as cute as me," and ruining the whole compliment. This type of guy in real life would been as a playboy and a self-centered asshole, and no one wants someone like that.

Beelzebub eats way to much, and he's constantly running down his family's food supply. He also has a habit of spending way too much money, but it's usually food-centered. Again, this is just mere speculation, but Beel also seems like the type to be rude to waiters if they mess up his order or don't have a certain food he wants. It's already canon that he has pretty bad anger issues, and sometimes they can even rival Satan's, so it isn't much of a stretch to believe he would get angry at wait staff for something like this. Honestly, I can't think of many other icks I have with him, and he seems like one of the least problematic brothers to me, but feel free to talk about your own Beel icks if you have any.

Lastly, Belphegor literally killed us. Like, yeah, most of the brothers have threatened to kill us or have come close at some point, but Belphie actually succeeds. And, in real life, if you die, you don't come back, so Belphie is already the worst one in real life. But, let's move past that. He is so lazy to the point where he refuses to get out of bed half the time. He's constantly falling asleep in the most random of places, and it is downright impossible to wake him up sometimes. Plus, he also tries to drag us down with him, thereby keeping us from being productive and missing important events. Belphie is also the youngest child, so he's been spoiled his whole life and just automatically assumes everything he wants should be given to him without him working for it. For the record, I'm not saying every youngest child is like this, but Belphie certainly is. He can also be quite the manipulative guy, using his youngest privilege to pretend like he's all innocent and whatnot.

So, yeah, overall, all of the brothers easily have their own icks that would make them terrible in real life. However, I do want to circle back to Leviathan. I will admit, just like his brothers, Levi does have his own icks I would dislike in real life, but the one's OP brings up aren't even icks. They're traits that most introverted people have, not to mention Levi is heavily autistic coded and has many traits that line up with how people with autism act.

Their first point is that the way Levi talks about idol groups is creepy or weird. They then cite a quote from him complaining about how an idol group he likes that's known for being cute suddenly dropped a new music video that looks much sexier. Then OP says that Levi has not right to get mad over what an idol group chooses to do. However, Levi has every right to get mad. In fact, most people get mad whenever a group they like decides to change directions in some way. I mean, we all saw what happened when One Direction broke up. And, if you actually look at how Levi reacts, it's really not that extreme of a reaction. With how OP treats his words, you'd think he did something horrible like go online and spread hateful and misogynistic words about the group like so many creepy otaku men tend to do. But, Levi doesn't do that. He's simply just expressing his dislike of this new route to a friend. That's a very healthy way to express negative feelings, and he's doing it well. He even says that he's still gonna support the group and just see where it goes from there. He does nothing creepy or weird at all in this interaction.

And right after that, they bring up the fact that this is a fictional game. Their exact words are "I know this is all fictional and whatever..." and the ngo on to say something else. With that one phrase, they completely contradict their own argument. The whole point is that this is a fictional game with fictional characters. Levi isn't real, and none of the others are real, so there's really no point in getting hung up in their personalities like this. The only reason I did was to show that none of them are perfect and we shouldn't target just one without taking the others into account as well.

Then they say that no one would be gushing over him if he were real and that he's cringy, creepy, and weird. However, most of his traits are just those of an introverted, autistic person with bad social skills. He likes anime and video games, and he likes talking about those interests and interacting with his fandoms. Yes, he lacks a filter, but that's not creepy, that's just bad social skills. Hell, I tend to lack a filter because I have trouble reading the room sometimes. I am both introverted and mentally ill, but no one would call my behavior creepy or cringy. I just have trouble socializing, just like Levi. If he were real, he would just be an awkward guy who needs help figuring out social cues. He's not as creepy or perverted as people make him out to be, especially compared to characters like Lucifer, Asmo, and even Mammon at some points.

Finally, they end their argument with saying that if he weren't pretty or an LI, he would be the most hated character in the game. Except, he already kind of is, because this is how most people tend to think already. Many people fail to understand that lots of Levi's traits are just him being social awkward and autistic. If fact, he rarely even pervs on the player because he's too shy, meaning we have to initiate most of the more heated scenes because he won't do it himself. He's not a perv, he just lacks a filter sometimes.

And, honestly, this whole paragraph they stuck at the end: "Also: I’m well aware that ppl already think he’s creepy, but this is addressing those who excuse it all because he’s pretty, or loves you. Like please raise your standards. Also your free to have your own taste in men, this is not to make fun of people who like Levi. This is about levi himself, and if he looked totally different, things would not be how they are now." was just straight garbage. If we raise our standards for one, shouldn't we raise them for all? Meaning we wouldn't like any of them because they're all terrible.

Sorry this was so long, and thank you to anyone who stuck around and read it all (probably no one). I just get really mad whenever someone comes after Levi like this.

[bi-bats]

"'n this is gonna have to go into my jaytimroy fic" LISTEN. listen, okay. jaytimroy is one of my fav poly relationships to read. i will eat this fic uppppp whenever you post it [zero pressure just to be clear!!! write at your own pace babes i'm rooting for it in the meantime]. with that said though, anything you're willing to share abt the wip?

also if you've written anything for that pairing, or just a fic including roy in general in the past??? shamelessly asking you to share a link.

AKLSJFLKSD thank you!!! Writing is definitely not happening the way it usually does for me (and this weekend has been Very Stressful, my cat is really sick and things aren't looking so good, he's not keeping food down at all and hasn't been for about three days and also it's my one year anniversary with my gf today and this has put a bit of a damper on it)

Anyways!! I really just have the plot for it 😂 basic rundown is Bruce finds out about the league bases and gets into a huge argument with Tim which results in the outlaws taking him in during the fallout. JayRoy have been hooking up but they don't know how to address the whole having feelings for each other thing because they both think it's one-sided. Then, of course, Tim comes in and throws a wrench into everything because he starts hooking up with Roy, and then if I say anything else we're wandering into spoilery territory!

I actually haven't written anything for that pairing yet/at all BUT my girlfriend has been begging for it (literally even was like 'you can give it to me as a birthday or a hannukah gift!! 😂) BUT I have written fics with Roy in them! I'm starting to get more comfortable writing him now.

Here's what he's in!

Roy is in Rooftops & Bookshops, but not very much. He's pretty much only in a short scene in chapters 9 and 12 each, other than a few background mentions along the way.

He's also in Pieces of Me (Pieces of You), and he's in two of the three chapters and plays a significant role in the plot

He's in Non-Refundable Plans, but he really only has a few lines (it's a one shot anyways), this is the one he's in the least by far

BUT he is in Know Yourself a significant amount! Every chapter, plenty of lines, scenes alone with Jason, scenes alone with Tim! This fic is ongoing but is NOT abandoned!! I'm struggling with it a bit right now but I am actively working on it. If you want to see how I write Roy or want to read something I wrote that has Roy in it, this is definitely my top recommendation for that!

And thank you for being clear that you aren't applying pressure!! I really appreciate how kind and patient and understanding everyone always is with me here!!! this fandom is the absolute best fr 💚💖💚