#I'm just having high anxiety the last few days about when I met them both and my inner voice is just like 'you're a cock/asshole etc etc and

[il-miele-che-scrive]

lando norris x reader

based on this request (because I take requests and I have to make it everyone's business): Hi not sure if you take requests but in case you do could you write reader x lando where y/n is a celebrity or an influencer and she drops subtle hints at who is her new bf maybe some fun facts about him like "oh he hates fish and I'm making a lot of fish for christmas" and eventually the fans are like "guys it's totally lando"

words count: 2.5k + fans' tweets at the end

author's note: my first request and it was so fun to write 🥹 also added a hospital scene from the time of Vegas GP so we could experience a bit of protective Y/n and painkillers-high Lando (I forgot about a fish scene)

edit: I've just realized I've messed up the dates so let's pretend the award thingie was in '23 instead of '22

A secret boyfriend

It was a normal Tuesday of 2023 when Y/n Y/l/n and Lando Norris met. Well, not so normal since it was the day Y/n won the first award in her musical career, and Lando had his first debut as an award presenter.

"And the winner is..." He opened the envelope and flipped it, as he held it upside down. "Y/n Y/l/n."

Y/n couldn't believe it at first. She looked at her best friend with tears in her eyes. They hugged before Y/n stood up and got on her way to the scene, still questioning if she actually heard her name or was it her mind playing tricks on her.

"Thank you," Y/n sent Lando a smile as he handed her the award, "are you sure it's for me?" She joked, trying to mask the anxiety she felt from the fact that now she had to give a speech while everyone watched.

"Absolutely, it's all yours. Well deserved." Lando said feeling a bit starstruck from being so close to one of his favorite singers.

Just this one simple interaction was enough for both Y/n's and Lando's fanbases to raise suspicions. However, what was unavailable to the fans' eyes were Y/n and Lando's interaction at the after party. Later the same evening, he approached her.

"Hey, congratulations again." He said with a grin on his face. "Your music is amazing, I couldn't imagine you not winning this award."

"Stop with the compliments, I'm gonna blush." Y/n laughed. "Nice to meet you. Lando Norris, isn't it?"

"Yeah, do you watch Formula One?"

"I'm going to be honest from the beginning and admit I did not, but I did my research and I just might start being a fan."

"If you're ever down for hearing firsthand gossip straight from the track, I'm at your service."

"I'd love to hear all the gossip over a coffe sometime."

"Let me give you my number then and I'll arrange something."

And so a few days later they had a coffee date. The date marked the beginning of a carefully hidden romance. They wanted to keep it a secret from the public eye, not wanting people prying on them, trying to estimate how long they'll last.

Keeping the relationship secret somehow came easy to them. They were seen on the coffee date indeed, however they made sure to have the next dates in private. The fans on both sides were literally clueless to the whole ongoing romance. Y/n had her tour, Lando had his races and it wasn't even a little bit suspicious how a lot concerts aligned with race weekends.

Unfortunately, one day Y/n went live on Instagram with her best friend. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n didn't know how to keep her mouth shut. Unfortunately, because Y/f/n gave away the big secret.

"You know, guys, we're gonna use lives as a way to spend time together," she joked, "I've been feeling a bit abandoned since Y/n has been spending so much time with her boyfriend. Even on tour and with his busy schedule, can you believe this?"

Y/n's eyes widened. "Y/f/n!" She scolded her friend.

"What? It's a joke, no worries, I can see you're finally happy and I'm happy for you!"

"Y/f/n! You weren't supposed to say that!"

But the damage was already done. There was nothing Y/n could say to save the situation. So instead she decided to start dropping subtle hints for the fans to guess. Maybe it was the right time to make the relationship public after five months. They couldn't hide it forever.

Y/n started the hint game when she was on Jimmy Fallon's show.

"Y/n Y/l/n, everybody!" Jimmy announced when the girl walked in and sat down on the armchair. "I haven't seen you in a year and so much happened during this time!"

"I know, I know," Y/n said with a smile. "I'm so glad I could make a quick pit stop here on my way to Montreal."

"I'm happy to have you here. You won an award, you got a boyfriend. How- how did that happen?"

Y/n chuckled at Jimmy's question, realizing it was the perfect opportunity to play the hint game. "Oh, life takes unexpected turns and sometimes you find yourself on a fast track to happiness."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, sensing there was more to the story. "Anything you'd like to share about this mystery man?"

"You know, Jimmy, I've finally found someone who knows how to navigate the twists and turns in life."

The audience laughed and the speculations among fans skyrocketed as they tried to connect the dots from Y/n's playful hints.

The other time, Y/n was on a popular radio show. The host couldn't help but ask about the latest reveal of a big secret.

"You were left hurting really badly after your previous relationship," he spoke, "it's really good to see you finally happy."

"It was a big thing for me. Still is." The girl admitted. "My previous relationship made it hard to open up to a man like that again."

"What made you do it eventually then?"

"I decided life is too short for keeping things in the slow lane," Y/n chuckled, "and when you meet someone that can belt out a Taylor Swift song with the same passion as you, it's hard not to fall for them."

"So your mystery man is a Swiftie too? Any chance we might know him?"

"Oh, I bet many people who are listening right now would know him."

"Now you got us all intrigued, your fans wouldn't forgive me if I didn't ask for more."

Y/n grinned, "Well, he's practically flawless, except for one little detail. He's a scorpio. And let me tell you, when we're playing our silly little racing video games, his competitive scorpio side really comes out. It's all fun and games until his racing pride is at stake."

The host laughed. "I'm sure fans are already trying to guess who this mystery gamer is. And you, are you competitive?"

"Yes, totally. He's more experienced than I am, but it doesn't mean I won't try my hardest to beat him."

"Is there any trait you don't share?"

The girl nodded, "Yes, one thing I'm secretly jealous of. He's quite known for being able to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable conditions. I wish I could do that. I'm all about pillows and comfy blankets, but he can just doze off anywhere, anytime."

A few days later, in the warmth of Lando's bedroom, surrounded by the hum of city life outside the windows, Y/n brought up the topic with a playful glint in her eyes.

"You know, Lando, fans have been buzzing lately. It's quite entertaining."

"Well, you have started this yourself," Lando laughed, laying his head in his girlfriend's lap.

"Not me, it was Y/f/n. I just went with it and turned it into something fun for myself." Y/n defended herself. Her fingers started gently playing with Lando's hair.

"You do seem to be having a great time, leading your fans on and all that," he joked. "Are there chances they'll solve your mystery anytime soon?"

"I've seen a few tweets accusing you of being my secret boyfriend, but most people don't really believe that."

"What?" He sit up dramatically. He continued in a fake-offended voice. "Do they think I'm not good enough?"

Y/n giggled.

Lando's mock offense turned into a playful pout. "I can't believe they're doubting my boyfriend potential. I mean, come on, look at me!" He gestured theatrically at himself.

Y/n burst into laughter, "Maybe we should give them a little more to work with, stir the pot a bit."

Lando leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Y/n's cheek. "You're a master of turning chaos into entertainment, you know that?"

"It's quite a compliment, coming from a Formula One driver."

Lando flashed a grin. "Well, we both have our talents, don't we? Maybe we should drop some subtle hints during a race?"

And so they waited months for the Grand Prix in Vegas, because that was where they could start rumours about getting married. Sure, they could get married spontaneously anywhere, but there was no better place than Las Vegas.

Thankfully they managed to keep the relationship secret all these months, breadcrumbing Y/n's fans. After the Vegas GP, Y/n and Lando where supposed to go for an afterparty, get 'drunk' and then 'married'.

Unfortunately, they plans changed the direction a bit with Lando's crash. Y/n's heart sank as she watched the unfolding drama on the big screens. The thrill of the race was replaced with concern for Lando's well-being. Plans for the afterparty and the playful hints about a fake marriage suddenly didn't matter anymore.

Emergency crews rushed onto the track, the anxious seconds felt like an eternity as they worked to help Lando get out of his racing car. Y/n's heart pounded in her chest, the world around her blurring. The fact that he managed to walk away from the car was a small comfort.

Y/n's phone buzzed moment after Lando disappeared from her sight.

from: Lando

I'm okay, they're taking me to st vincent's hospital. Will update you soon. Love you xx

to: Lando

Be there in a second, see you soon

A shaky exhale escaped Y/n, she felt slightly relief and ran towards the exit. She was sure Lando wasn't okay, not after that crash, but at least he was conscious and walking on his own (although it could be the adrenaline). A moment later, when Y/n got into her own car, her phone buzzed again.

from: Lando

Yknow you could post a pic from the hospital, that would stir the pot

Y/n smiled at the massage. If he could think of that, he might had been better than she thought.

The neon lights of Las Vegas blurred as she drove through the city streets, trying to get to the hospital as quick as possible. Despite the speed, the journey seemed to stretch in time.

Arriving at St. Vincent's hospital, Y/n rushed through the entrance, her heart pounding. The reception area looked like a maze in her anxious state, but she managed to find a nurse.

"I'm here for Lando Norris," the girl said.

The nurse looked her up and down. "Are you his family?"

"I'm his girlfriend."

"Then, unfortunately, I cannot let you see him."

"His family is in Europe, I'm the closest to family you can get here in Vegas."

"The closest, but not family. I'll ask you nicely to wait here for further information."

Y/n nodded with an angry expression on her face. She sat down in the waiting room, pulling out her phone and dialing the number of her manager.

"Hey, Mia," the singer said. "I need you to do something." Urgency and frustration were visible in her voice.

"What's going on, Y/n? Are you okay?" Mia's concerned voice came through the line.

"It's Lando. He's been in a crash during the race in Vegas, and they've taken him to St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm here, but they won't let me in because I'm not 'family.' That's so stupid."

"I'm sorry, Y/n, but I still don't see what you want me to do."

"I want you to make a donation for the hospital from my account. Send them like $100,000. I think it'll be enough to let me in."

"Okay, I'll take care of it."

"Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it more than you know."

Y/n took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Anxiety lingered in the air. But there was no way they wouldn't let her in after that.

Y/n didn't know how much time had passed. She felt as if all she did was staring at a wall in front of her, ocassionally moving her eyes to the floor or the ceiling. She was fidgeting with her fingers as the same nurse approached her.

"Miss Y/l/n, you're allowed to see Mr Norris in the room 305."

Without a word, Y/n rushed to the room. She found Lando lying in the hospital bed, his gaze turning towards the door as she walked in.

"Lando." Y/n breathed his name, rushing to his side and taking his hand in hers. "I was so worried. And they didn't want to let me in at first."

He managed a dazed smile, his eyes slightly glazed. "Hey, you're real, right? This isn't happening in my head?"

Y/n chuckled. "Yes, I'm real. It's me."

He squinted at her. "You sure? You look like a beautiful hallucination."

"Well, if I'm a hallucination, at least a beautiful one."

"I feel like I'm floating on marshmallow clouds, but you're the most beautiful marshmallow I've ever seen."

Y/n couldn't help but laugh. "I think you might be on some strong painkillers, love."

"Ah, that explains the marshmallows. They're having a party in my head," Lando said with a dreamy expression.

Y/n burst into laughter, the tension of the earlier moments disappearing in the room.

"Did you know," Lando continued, "that racing is like trying to catch a rainbow? And if you're lucky, you might find a pot of gold at the end."

"Is there an Irish leprechaun as well?"

"I wouldn't be surprised. Maybe that's who's been guiding me all this time."

"You gotta ask him to make the rainbow less slippery next time then."

He nodded solemnly. "I'll have a serious talk with him. No more slippery rainbows, only smooth, marshmallow clouds."

As they joked around, Y/n couldn't ignore the quiet concern for Lando's well-being. She gently brushed his hair away from his forehead. "You scared me, you know? Seeing you crash like that."

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you. I promise I'll be more careful next time. But you have to promise me something too.""

"What is it?"

"You'll visit me in the marshmallow cloud world sometimes. It gets lonely up there."

Y/n laughed, leaning in to press a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'll visit anytime you want."

"You know, even in the middle of all this craziness, having you here feels like finding that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow."

As the night carried on, the hospital room became a cocoon shielding them from everything that layed outside its walls. Y/n found herself falling asleep on an armchai next to Lando's bed.

In the quiet ambiance of the night, Lando's mind wandered through the whimsical landscapes of his medication-induced thoughts. He couldn't help but marvel at the coincidence that brought Y/n into his life.

It all started with handing her an award. It seemed like it happened a whole lifetime ago and now, there they were, in the middle of marshmallow clouds.

Y/n, nestled in the armchair, breathed softly in her sleep, completely unaware of Lando's reflections. Soon enough, Lando allowed himself to succumb to the gentle pull of sleep as well.

[itsdingdong]

Come Home To Me -Drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x girlfriend!reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Suggestive, Profanity

Word Count:: 1990

A.N: I didn’t specify her occupation. She’s a career woman. Unedited, I might come back to it, wrote it on a whim.

Song: come home to me by Justin Bieber

"I'm home," your boyfriend announces his arrival. It's your last night together before he heads off to serve in the military. It's been a rough few weeks for both of you, especially for him. You know he's not ready to leave, especially at the peak of his career. Not only that, but his career consumed so much time that spending moments with loved ones became a rare luxury. He never had separation anxiety, yet here he is, struggling to leave everything behind for two years.

He left for the gym a little over an hour ago. Deep down, both of you knew he'd rather have stayed and done nothing and everything with you. Sadly, the uneasiness became overwhelming, visibly making him look shaky and pale. You suggested he go out and blow off some steam, and he left to try that.

"I'm gonna take a shower. I'm so sweaty."

"Yeah, okay."

And there's tension. You know it's not personal, but it makes you nervous anyway. You're undeniably going to miss him a lot. No, you don't show it to him because he's already in a vulnerable state. He's been trying to make the best of his solo era before he's rid of one of the craziest highs one gets – fame. You know he's not ready to leave all that behind. How you see it is that it's a learning curve and a point in his life for him to grow and mature. That's what the military does to boys. They take a leap into becoming a man. That's one of the pros you can see. You're as obliged to wait as he is to go, so you stopped whining about it as soon as you found out about the enlistment. He needs your support more than ever, so that's what you're giving him, period. Maybe it was one of the things that gave girlfriends the wife material quality – who knows?

With both of your hectic schedules, it was hard enough to spend much quality time together. When you did, it was the utmost best. Those times made the whole deal worth it. Two tired people in need of love and compassion met in an unusual place and easily fell in love as literal soulmates. Soulmates with little to no time to spend. You just wanted to support him as much as you could. It wasn't like you were never going to see him during the service time, but you'd very much rather have him come home to you, even if it's just to spend the night in bed, sleeping.

Your chest has been squeezed tight since a couple of days back. You watched the V-Live he'd done while you were away, and you weren't happy about it. People wouldn't leave him alone with their uncalled-for negativity when he was extremely generous with his limited time to make people who supported him happy. From stans accusing him of abandoning Bam, his baby, to them following him around – which he got a scolding from you for showing his address.

He's a strong man, one of the toughest you've met. And he manages to stay kind, humble, and polite. Now, shit like this doesn't faze him usually, but nowadays, you're in awe to see how clueless and selfish people could be. They may not see it, but he gets hurt, and they are not the ones to pick up the pieces. And with that mindset, they wouldn't have been able to even if they tried. Despite everything, he did a final live to fulfill his promise. That alone shows how huge his heart is and how much he cares.

When done showering and changing into his sweats, Jungkook quietly joins you in the living room, a towel in his hand, drying up his shaved head. A small smile forms on your lips just by the sight of him. Damn, you're so in love with this man.

"Hey," he says as he drops himself down next to you on the couch.

"Hey," you say softly. His eyes look into yours for a moment, then they drop to the ground. He still looks sad, all puffy from crying too. "Come here. Please." He pats his chest, signaling you to hug him. Seriously, you don't need to be told twice. When you wrap your arms around his neck, he leans back, making you lie on top of him. You stay like that for a minute. Then 2. Then 10. Until you both fall asleep. It's a 20-minute nap before you feel him shuffle under you. You're so comfortable and peaceful in your current position to move or open your eyes; you just stay like that.

"I will miss you so much." The words come out as a shaky whisper. "I really don't want to go." His arms tighten around your figure. You don't want him to go either. It's on the list of things not to say to him.

"I know. I will miss you too, but I promise it'll pass in the blink of an eye."

He shakes his head before resting it on yours. All you want to do is cheer him up and give him all the hope you can for the following 18 months. To make him feel and know that everything will be okay. He's a mess, and you just want to rid him of all the upsetting emotions he's feeling right now. If only you could take his pain and stress away.

"We will all be waiting for you. I will visit you whenever I can. And I'll see you when you're home." If I'm here. You don't add that detail either. It's possible to miss him on his free days depending on your schedule, but he knows that already, and it's not worth mentioning at this very moment.

"I'll go see Bam as much as I can. I'll take photos of him. I know they will too. I'll make sure to visit your parents too." You finally raise yourself to look at his beautiful eyes. The well of tears brimming in them completely shatters your heart.

"I love you." He croaks, trying really hard to keep himself from breaking down. Though you wish he would if he needed to, but you wait and reply, "I love you more."

"That's impossible." He sighs into your neck, making you shiver slightly.

"Agree to love equally then?" You suggest playfully.

"Deal."

There's a brief comfortable silence after that. Your mind quiets down as you enjoy his warmth and strong arms around you. Eyes closed, you listen to his heartbeats as well as his breathing. Thankful to have him.

"Do you think I'll be forgotten when I'm gone? 2 years isn't a short time." He breaks the silence. His words slightly anger you because you know that it's impossible and you really hate it when he gets insecure like that when he has absolutely no reason to. But you know, no matter what, his worries are valid, always.

"Of course not. Who could forget such a gorgeous, talented, wonderful, funny, and caring man like you? I couldn't. Even if you weren't mine, you'd have definitely left an impact. And obviously you did because, like, ARMY, you know? Besides, you're really hot, if I do say so myself. Who could forget this face?" He smiles at your encouraging words as they warm his heart.

"I don't think I'm hot right now."

“Oh baby, how wrong you are. You look so hot even if you don’t feel like it.”

“I think I’m going to cry.”

“Sure, I’ll cry with you.”

“What? No, don’t cry. I’ll cry even more.”

“It’s okay to cry. I know you’re struggling, I’m here for you baby. I would prefer if you weren’t in such distress but if you are, let’s go through it. Together.”

Your words move him. He knows he’s loved. By millions and by the people he cares for the most. You? You’re different. You love him so honestly and care for him thoroughly, he can’t help but to feel extra grateful for your existence. He’s usually a grateful person but you make him thank whoever out there that’s hearing him a little more often. He knows you’re the one he’ll spend what’s left of his lifetime with. He’d marry you in a beat if it weren’t for your no marriage till babies rule. Which he’s okay with. But still, you just have to say the word and he’ll take you to the courthouse. You come second to his mother in terms of peace and comfort he can find in one but he’s okay with you switching spots when the time comes. You’re the safest thing that’s ever happened to him in such a dangerous world.

“You will wait for me, right? 2 years is a long time. What if you met someone?” You appreciate his honesty. Him being vocal about his fears. You appreciate that he doesn’t hide from you. All you wish is for those fears to vanish. There’s no way you’re leaving him. Ever.

“I will wait for you as long as you want me to.”

“I will always want you to.”

“Good. We have a deal then.”

-

“It’s almost 11, shall we go to bed? It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.” You suggest. He - technically you too - will have to wake up early. His parents were coming from Busan early in the morning to send him off.

“I’m not sleepy. Fuck, how am I going to fix my sleep routine, it’s seriously messed up.”

“I can’t think of a better place than the military for it.”

He pauses then laughs as it finally dawns on him. “How come I didn’t think of that?”

“You’re so out of it Jay Kay.”

“Mm, yeah. But I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

“Yup. Definitely. Also, we don’t have to sleep just yet.”

“Oh yeah?”

“I thought we’d cuddle a little.”

It’s probably what you’re going to miss the most in his absence at home: his cuddles,

“And a one last ‘see ya’ fuck before I leave?” Wiggling his eyebrows, he looks at you with a glint of mischief and lust in his doe eyes.

Maybe that too. God, he seriously has no shame… he was crying just now this little shit.

To that, you can’t help but to tease, “When you put it like that, I guess I’ll pass.”

“Babyy, please. You got me all excited and stuff.”

He’s cute. A cute guy that makes you smile. Always. Even now you are smiling.

His pouty lips look so plump and kissable. You’re so used to seeing the ring there, that it feels weird now that it’s gone. “It’s a good luck, ‘I love you’ and a please be well fuck.”

“Mm yes, talk dirty to me.”

But you don’t do that tonight when your bodies are wrapped under the sheets. Instead, you just affirm and make love to him like you want to make sure he feels all the love you want to give. Maybe for the first time in weeks, he falls into a serene sleep, snuggled into your chest.

-

“It’s time to go.” You hear someone yell. Time does fly whenever you wish it doesn’t. But it still does fly when you wish it does. You just need to allow it. Your heart squeezes a little but you try to breathe through it. He’ll be okay.

“Take care of yourself. Don’t get cold. Call me whenever you can.”

“I will do all that. I promise. I love you.”

“I love you. I’ll wait for you to come home to me.”

“I’ll come running, baby. Trust me.” He brings you in for a hug and gives you the quickest kiss allowed before turning away to say his goodbyes to his family.

You can’t wait for him to return but as he’s away, you wish him the best and in your heart pray that everything will be okay.

[yeollie-plz]

The Lovers Part 2

Knight! Pedro Pascal x Princess! F! Reader

Part 1

Synopsis: Y/N insert, mentions of blood and war, fantasy settings, contract marriage, age gap, fake marriage

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: Y/N insert, fantasy settings, contract marriage, age gap, fake marriage, hand kissing/holding?, anger, anxiety

Gif credits to owners!

This was a bad idea. You were sure this was a bad idea. How did he talk you into this? Glancing over to your left, your eyes met Sir Pascal's, a hint of amusement gleamed behind them. He was having fun, while you were a heap of anxiety.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" You needed some sort of conformation.

"I'm always one hundred percent sure of everything." He said with a shrug.

You rolled you eyes and peered forward. No matter how attractive Sir Pascal was, his personality was a bit exhausting. You hoped you could get used to it or at least tolerate it.

"I think you should do all the talking." You were losing your confidence, the closer you got to your father's office. Last night Sir Pascal walked you to your room, your legs still shaky. He let you lean on him for support. Any other time you would've found the act improper but you needed him in that moment. You ushered you inside with a quiet goodnight and you both agreed to tell your father in the morning.

Now here you were outside of your father's office with Sir Pascal, your color draining from your face. He took a deep breath and looked over at you.

"It would probably be better coming from you. You can do it."

You sighed, "I know, it's just I've never really defied him and..."

He leaned forward, resting his forehead on yours.

"Your father loves you, he wouldn't be so regretful about the marriage if he didn't. It'll be fine."

You nodded, raising your head back up to the door. Raising your hand to knock, you sighed.

A come in was heard from the inside. You gripped the door knob with sweaty palms and walked inside. You glanced behind you to see Sir Pascal not following you. Your eyes pleaded him.

"Go ahead, I'll be right outside." He whispered while squeezing your other hand in reassurance.

When the door closed behind you, your father finally looked up from his paperwork, eyeing you from the tops of his glasses.

"Oh, my dear, there you are. We were all worried when you disappeared from the party last night. Listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, it was just.... I wasn't sure how to tell you." His look was apologetic. You wrung your hands nervously.

"Father... I can't go through with the marriage." You tried to sound confident, but you knew it was in vain. You had learnt to have a sort of air to your way of speaking, but whenever it came to your father you never could keep it up.

"Y/N, I'm sorry but it isn't up to you and its not up for discussion. The deal has already been made and-"

You cut him off, "No! I can't go through with it because I'm already married." There it was, you had said it. No going back now.

"You what?" You could hear the anger in the back of his voice.

You cleared your throat, "When the Corenth regiment first came to town, a specific high ranking officer caught my eye. We had a chance meeting." That was putting it lightly. "We quickly fell for each other and began sneaking around. He was a first for me, for a lot of things." You cleared your throat again, taking a pause. "Not long after he proposed and I was so blinded by it all that I said yes. The next day we were married in secret with a few of the other knights as witnesses."

You paused again. This was the story you and Sir Pascal had come up with. Short and sweet. Didn't get too into detail but also laid everything out perfectly. You hoped your father believed you.

"I know what my duties are and I know I shouldn't have done what I had done. I know you are going to be mad but my heart told me it was the right thing to do."

Your father stood from his desk and walked around it, making his way over to you.

"Y/N..." It was so quiet you barely didn't catch it. Your stare that was stuck to the floor slowly lifted up to your father's face.

"Yes, I am mad and I wish you would've told me sooner. But, I can see the look you have. You're in love and I can't ask you to throw that love away. I'm sure since he is a high ranking official that we can work out another deal with Corenth. But I have to meet your husband first."

Husband. That word was still so foreign. Plus there was still the matter of actually marrying Sir Pascal.

You couldn't believe your father had believed you. Part of you thought he would see right through you and laugh you away, walking you down the aisle to the Prince of Corenth within the next hour.

You nodded, "He's actually outside right now, I had a feeling you would want to talk to him."

Your father let out a laugh as you walked to the door and opened it, ushering Sir Pascal inside. You needed to learn his first name. Sir Pascal bowed to your father.

"So, this is my daughter's new husband. Sir..." He looked to the knight, urging his name from him.

"Sir Pedro Pascal of Corenth, your grace." He bowed again.

"Pedro..." You breathed out. The two men glanced over at you. You smiled and shook your head lightly, acting like you didn't say anything.

"Well, don't be afraid, son, you can stand a little closer to your wife." Your father laughed, while leaning against his desk. You hadn't noticed the distance between you two, until your father pointed it out.

"I didn't want to do anything against your wishes, your grace." Sir Pascal said with a confident smile. Inching closer to you, he reached one hand down and grasped your own. You and your father looked down at the small gesture. An aura of love flashed behind your father's eyes.

"Oh, your mother is going to be so angry with you. You know she's going to want to throw you a real wedding, too." You nodded, knowing both of these things already.

"Why don't you go and find her and Sir Pascal can stay here with me. I would like to have a talk...man to man." You nodded once again and glanced over at Sir Pascal. He gave you a reassuring look. Rising your hand to his lips, he ghosted a kiss there, letting it fall back down to your side. Your cheeks flushed.

"I'll come find you in a bit, my love." Sir Pascal's words sent a shock wave through you. Quickly you recovered and left your father's office.

You were about to walk down the hallway to find your mother when you had the idea to eavesdrop at the door. You were never one for eavesdropping, of course you would hear a few rumors when they were passed around the castle. But you never went looking for gossip. Although today, something told you to listen in on the two men.

It was hard to hear through the thick door, but as you pressed your ear to it, you could make out a few words. Something about "princess", "knight", and "marriage" coming from your father. Sir Pascal's deep voice was harder to hear, but you heard something about "love" then he must have made a joke because your father laughed. Sighing, you gave up on trying to listen in and made your way through the palace to find your mother. Dreading how she would react to the news.

---- Later That Night ----

Your mother did not take the news well. She was furious with you, lecturing you once again about being reckless and immature. You stood there and took it all in, knowing that you couldn't say anything to calm her down. She needed time. Eventually, your father made his way over to his queen and laid a hand on her shoulder. This instantly calmed her down and she turned to him.

"Dear, this child...how could she be so..." All of your mother's anger seemed to drain from her when she met your father's eyes. He had this way of always calming her down with one look. When you were younger you thought it was because he was the king but as you grew older you knew it was pure love.

Something about seeing the look now brought a pain to your heart. You used to want a love like that, but now the pain was in knowing you would never get it.

"He's a very nice man and she's so in love, I can see it." Your mother's eyes softened even more at your father's words. You had both decided it was best for Sir Pascal to not be here when you told your mother. She would need time to calm down before meeting him.

"I need to go to my chambers, I don't want to be bothered anymore tonight." She said in a rush and left the office. You and your father shared a look and he gave you a little nod. You bowed and left as well.

As soon as you made it out the door a voice spoke to your left.

"It didn't go too well did it?" You turned to see Sir Pascal leaning against the wall a little ways down the hall. Making your way over to him, you shrugged.

"She's always been a bit high-strung, I knew she would be harder to convince."

"Are you okay?" Something about the genuine concern in his voice threw you off guard. You nodded, despondently.

"Hey, wanna see something?" He pleaded you. Your head tilted in curiosity and he grabbed your hand, dragging you through the palace and towards the library.

He pushed you inside and closed the double doors behind you, locking them. You furrowed your brows at the action.

"So we aren't disturbed." He answered your silent question and ran through the aisles of the library before you could respond. He was scanning one of the rows as you slowly caught up. As you rounded the corner, he yelled out a "Found it!"

"Look!" He shoved the book into your hands. You looked down at and read the cover.

"Beauty and the Beast?" Still confused, you looked up at him. He was looking back at you expectantly.

"You wanted to show me a children's storybook?"

His face dropped a bit, but he recovered quickly, responding "Not just a children's storybook! Our blueprint!"

"Our blueprint?" You couldn't hide the shock from your voice.

"Yes, a story of love prevailing through anything. He is a complete beast who has no promise and no hope. But she is the essence of hope, the essence of beauty. You are my essence." Your shock was building with every word that came out of his mouth. Yet, his words made you blush.

"As a knight I don't have many goals but to get up in the ranks. I am never home so I've never had the opportunity to love or to have someone love me. I have no family, a few friends but no one I can bare my soul to." He paused and grabbed your hands.

"Look, I know you think that I was just giving you a way out of your situation but I needed you as much as you needed me. I will give you everything, all I ask is for you to be a friend, a confidant."

Another pause, you took the opportunity to test out his first name.

"Pedro..." The words clung to your breath. His caught in his throat.

"I-" A indiscernible look washed over him.

He coughed lightly, "I would never ask you to feel the feelings I do. I would never ask you to pretend with me. All I want is your promise that you will not let the situation, or any mistakes I may make, to stop you from letting yourself love. Whether that love is for me or anyone else."

You nodded, speechless.

"Although I really do hope your love could be mine."

Taglist:

@mandy-eminem-moxley77 @kittenlittle24

[onlyhereforthestories]

All It Takes Is A Christmas Party (Alexia Putellas x Reader)

Here is a second fic for you all! I'm sorry it is a little late I was drinking beer lol I hope everyone has the best day today. Merry christmas lovely people

Yesterday you and your team had played your final game before the Christmas break, a champions league game that you had won by a good margin. This meant that you were all going into the annual Christmas get together in a great mood and with high spirits. The only thing that made you slightly less excited about tonight was your major crush on your captain.

Alexia had won you over about 5 minutes into your first meeting, she had introduced herself and tried her very best to speak English to you from that first moment. It didn’t stop their either, for the next few months she’d be the person to teach you as much Spanish as possible as well as being your translator to the best of her abilities. Wherever you were Alexia wasn't far behind and this was a well known fact amongst not only the team but the fanbase too.

What always showed everyone was the fact that there was nothing going on between the two of you, both of you would always deny it whenever it was brought up with the team or the media and that was the truth. What was also the truth was the fact that you were slowly falling for the woman that was so far from your league. She deserved so much more than you and your insecurities that would always be a thorn in anyone side during a relationship and you knew it.

So you had left those feelings as just that and not acted on them, and you weren’t planning on acting on them any time soon either. This fact made going to events like these, the behind every door get together with the team, so hard. There was no need to hide or put your media trained head on, all of you were in a space where you could just be yourself and it wouldn’t matter. The problem for you was that your normal self had the biggest heart eyes for the women they called la Reina and you knew it would show if you let that shield down.

You knew you didn’t really have a choice though, Lucy and Keira had already threatened a break in if you weren’t outside and ready to go at 19:45 sharp. So you that’s how you found yourself in a matching pair of underwear looking at the three outfits you had set out. One was a simple pantsuit and shirt, one a more suit type ensemble and the final one was a casual jeans and shirt. Deciding that you looked the least ugly in the jeans you opted for them and pulled them on.

You weren’t one to wear any make up and you always had your hair up so you pulled it into a bun and left your face natural before getting your watch and bracelet out. Deciding that you needed at least a ring you found one in your wardrobe and checked the time, finding it was only seven you settled on the sofa to watch something while you waited. This was always a perk of not needing to do too much before going out.

When you and your two close friends pulled up at the club the team had hired out, you were already kind of not in the mood to be there. You had got comfy under the blanket back at home and was pretty sure staying there was the better option for your current predicament. You had been told that you were one of the last small groups to arrive and that meant that the chances of Alexia already being there was high. Both girls with you knew about your thoughts and feelings and knew not to mention them otherwise you would get more in your head about it than you already were.

Entering the club you went right to the bar and got some beers for the three of you, at least with a bit of alcohol you could pretend you didn’t have social anxiety that consumed you in groups of people. Juggling the beers back to the table proved to be a harder task than you realised and just as you were about to drop one it was taken from you. You assumed it was one of the girls it was for so you were caught off guard when your eyes met the beautiful browns of the woman you were trying not to fall for even more.

“Who is it for?” It was a simple question with a simple answer but your brain betrayed you in that moment and you couldn’t get it working well enough to answer, not when you took in the beauty of the woman in front of you. Opening and closing your mouth a couple of times you were saved by Lucy reaching for the beer and taking one other out of your hands.

“Took you long enough. Come on Keira needs saving from the youngsters.” Lucy was your saviour and you weren’t 100% sure she even knew it. “You know if you want to hide that crush of yours, staring at her like you would carry her up a mountain is probably not wise.” The older woman laughed at the horror that crossed your face, so she did know she was saving you and she wasn’t afraid to let you know either. 

About an hour into the party was when your nerves around the older woman and your feelings really sprang into full force. Alexia had been dancing with a few of the friends allowed to attend tonight and your mind was playing with you.

For so long your teammates had been telling you she fancied you and that if you asked her out there was no doubt that the woman would say yes but this proved it wasn’t true. You knew you weren’t the most attractive person or the funnest to be around so you didn’t really blame her but it doesn’t mean you were torn up over it.

The woman she was dancing with looked so much better than you did in a pantsuit and shirt, maybe that was the outfit you should have worn. But then again she would then just look better than you in the same clothes and that would be worse. She was talking and laughing with Alexia and she looked to be having a great time.

You decided another drink would help so you head over to the bar. What you didn’t notice was the eyes that followed you. Alexia was hoping that the advice Patri and Claudia had given her would work. She had flirted and been around you as much as she could and yet you didn’t seem interested. And the unknown of your feelings was stopping her making any kind of move, she didn’t want to put you in an awkward spot and loose your friendship.

So that’s why she had gone with their plan, a plan of dancing with the pretty women that were invited to the little get together. However she was starting to see it wasn’t working and that wasn’t good for her. So instead of doing what she had been doing and leaving it she decided to was time to put her brace girl pants on and go up to you.

You had just got your beer when your hand was grabbed and you were pulled in a direction before you could protest. You managed to keep your beer from toppling over and you were about to get annoyed at the person until you saw who it was.

“Alexia what the hell. You scared me. Are you okay?” She looked at you but didn’t speak something that made you more uncomfortable. You knew you were sometimes hard to talk to but you didn’t think she’d ever let it get to that point. In fact she’d promised it wouldn’t.

“I’m sorry. Here have this.” You gave her your beer and ran out of the club. You didn’t want to be the person no one wanted anymore, you couldn’t be that. One more love to leave was more than you could handle so you decided to leave yourself. You couldn’t be a screw up if you left, you couldn’t mess it all up and be the disaster you were always told you were if you were not even there.

Alexia stood and watched as you pretty much sprinted away from her, she saw the sadness in your eyes and she didn’t know what to do. She turned around and came face to face with a rather angry English couple.

“What did you do? Alexia really all you needed to do was talk to her, she’s been trying to build up the courage to ask you out for so long but she doesn’t think she’s good enough or deserves you. What did you do?” Alexia felt like an idiot she really did. She thought you weren’t interested in her and she was so worried about her own possible rejection that she didn’t realise she was harming you.

She didn’t reply to the two women, she handed them your discarded beer and ran out after you. Lucy went to follow but Keira stopped her with a hand around her wrist and a shake of her head. “Let her do this. I have faith they have this themselves.” With a nod they made their way back to the rest of the girls partying and left Alexia to hopefully fix this.

Alexia couldn’t see you when she got out of the club, instead of worrying about that she called a taxi and gave them your address. When the taxi pulled up at your appartment Alexia was pleased and relieved to see the lights on in your flat.

After she payed the driver, she made her way into the foyer and to the lift. Pressing your floor she composed herself and tried to think about what she wanted to say to you.

Taking a deep breath and knocking on the door she held that breath while she waited for you to answer. When the door swung open you were not looking but speaking. “Lucy I’m fine I just couldn’t be there anymore…” your words died in your throat when you made eye contact with the woman who was definitely not Lucy.

Alexia smiled at you and couldn’t help but think you were adorable when your cheeks burned red. “Why couldn’t you be there anymore?” Alexia stepped forward and was pleased when you didn’t block her entrance, in fact you stepped to the side and closed the door behind her.

“I couldn’t watch the woman I am falling for dance with someone else anymore. I couldn’t stay and not be the wanted one as always. I couldn’t stop my emotions showing anymore and it’s not fair because you deserve more.” Alexia was slightly shocked at what you were saying but what shocked her the most was your verbal confirmation that you in fact did like her.

She watched as you paced around the small living room of your flat and she realised quite quickly that you must have not known you had said that you liked her. This also confirmed how much of an idiot she was for letting you get so in your head and not putting her big girl pants on and asking you out earlier.

She decided then and there she would do everything in her power for as long as you would have her to make you know how important and wanted you were.

Stepping into your path she placed her hands on your shoulders to stop you. She waited for you to look at her before she spoke. “Y/n I am so sorry I didn’t talk to you. I’m so sorry I didn’t have the guts to be the forward one and I’m so sorry I let you think that you weren’t wanted. You deserve so much more than that and I failed to make you feel the way I wanted to. I failed at stepping up and I am sorry I let you get to the point where you thought you weren’t good enough. You will always be good enough.” Alexia took a second to make sure you were listening and it was okay to carry on. You were looking up at her with a confused expression but you weren’t pushing her away.

Deciding to take the lead a little more she stepped a little more into your space and slid her hands so she was resting her arms around your neck a bit more. She was happy to see the slight blush rising up your cheeks and was even more happy when she felt your arms settle around her waist. It gave her that little bit of encouragement to continue on, to know this was something you wanted.

“I want you. I should have told you that when we started to get closer. I should have been braver and told you that’s where my head and heart wanted us to go and I’m so sorry I didn’t. But I’m telling you now. I want you y/n.”

She waited as you visibly processed what she said and she panicked slightly when tears started to streak down your face. She was about to pull away and apologise when you laughed but your grip on her waist tightened. That was confusing because she didn’t realised your thoughts.

Of course she liked you, of course your stupid insecurities got in your head and caused you to be an idiot. Of course this was how you got the girl. You composed yourself before looking up at the slightly taller woman.

“Firstly you have nothing to be sorry for. Secondly, I have issues. I have thoughts that mess with my head and cause me to struggle in situations. I’m going to panic and probably say things that are odd and confusing. I’m going to think I’ve messed up when you don’t and it’s going to be a challenge being with me. I want you that I can tell you. I’ve wanted you for a while.”

Instead of answering you and telling you words that she knew you already knew she would say, Alexia decided that actions spoke louder than words.

Pulling you flush against her and leaning forward she took note that your eyes fluttered shut in anticipation. That was all the invitation she needed to close her eyes and bridge that tiny last bit of distance to press your lips together.

The kiss started out tentative, small slow movements on lips against one another. It was stepped up when Alexia tugged slightly on the baby hairs at the back of your neck, the slight pressure had you gasping slightly allowing the older woman to deepen the kiss. The two of you stood there for as long as you lungs let you, breaking apart slightly when air was really needed. Although you didn’t go far, you stayed within each others arms sharing small pecks and soaking up the moment before Alexia whispered against your lips.

“Merry Christmas mi amor. Here’s to the first of many.”

[lucreziaq2001]

•TV show: "Criminal minds".

•Content warnings: Five people having believed their friend/acquaintance committed suicide for almost fourty years, a president's assassination, a young girl's death happening that same day, people "being rude" to their former friend/acquaintance because he is an alcoholic and some of them refusing to talk about the girl who died at first.

•A person I met on Wattpad helped me write this, so the credits for this chapter also go to that girl. I can't tag her on here, though.

•Tags: @lex13cm, @golden1u5t, @avis-writeshq, @chrrysgirl, @hugyourlungs, @achillmango, @marie-sworld, @iluvreid, @babygirl-garcia, @rynwritesreid, @strangermoonlove.

The bridge to Heaven

Chapter 5: A reunion of former schoolmates

River.

All it had taken was that word on a piece of paper, and Spencer had asked for a few days off from work, told his wife and daughters that he had an urgent appointment in New York State, and gotten in the next plane to Long Island.

He knew what that word meant, and he also knew it wouldn't have led to anything, but he was certain that if Aaron Hotchner, with whom he had never had much contact and whom he hadn't seen in thirty-nine years, had called him, it had to be something urgent.

As he arrived at the address Aaron had told him, a few hours later, the man stopped in front of that house's front door with his heart in his throat and his stomach twisted in anxiety.

How could Aaron think he had the right to force him to remember things he would rather have forgotten?

But he was there now, so he decided to ring the doorbell.

Under it, however, there wasn't the last name "Hotchner", as Spencer expected, but "Rossi".

He had heard that last name before, it was that of a fairly famous former writer, but it meant nothing important to him.

As soon as the door was opened, a high-pitched sound distracted Spencer from his thoughts.

"Matt!" the voice of a person he hadn't see since he had finished high school, way back in 1968, exclaimed.

Although thirty-five years had passed and she had changed a lot, Jennifer Jareau was still perfectly recognizable, at least in Spencer's opinion.

"Jennifer!" Matthew replied, and then he hugged her "I thought no one would have come. I'm happy Aaron was right, at least this time".

"No one? What are you talking about, Matthew?" Spencer intervened at that point.

Aaron stood up from the desk he had been sitting at and said "Hello" to both him and Jennifer, then simply added "I knew they would have come".

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again, and when the door was opened, a tall, dark-skinned man, with the muscles in his arms still well sculpted despite the fact that he was now over 55 years old, and wearing sunglasses, walked in.

"Little Genius?" was the first thing he said, obviously addressing Spencer, still using the nickname he had given him when they had first met, at 16 and 12 years old.

"Derek?" the younger man replied, getting up and going straight to him.

"How long has it been since we last saw each other? It seems like an eternity!" Derek laughed.

"An eternity is just a subjective thing. It's actually been thirty-seven years, seven days, seventeen minutes and thirty-two-" Spencer responded, but before he could finish his speech, someone interrupted him.

Two women had just arrived, two more people everyone in the room had known well during their adolescence, which now seemed so distant it was like another life.

One of the two, blonde, all dressed up, and wearing a flashy fuchsia dress, immediately ran towards him and Derek with open arms.

They both smiled as she stopped in front of them and hugged them both.

"Hey, Baby Girl, doesn't time ever pass for you?" Derek then asked her, winking ather after speaking.

"Do you know what Aaron wants to talk to us about or is it a secret?" Penelope then questioned, but before anyone could answer her, an elderly man and a woman about the same age as him walked into the room.

Spencer and Jennifer immediately recognized one of them.

It was former writer David Rossi, and if they weren't mistaken, the woman next to him was his wife Erin.

"Hello, everyone" David said, clearing his throat "If we're all here, then we can get started"

"Get started?" Jennifer asked "I don't know what you want to discuss, honestly. Emily committed suicide".

"No, it's not like that. Or rather, Matthew contacted me saying that she didn't kill herself and I want to believe it" Dave replied with conviction, making Derek nod "We have to reconstruct exactly everything that happened that night. I had already tried to do some research those days, but public attention was obviously focused on Kennedy's assassination".

"What do you know about this story?" Elle interjected, turning to Matthew.

"I was on the bridge and saw something that night. And I can say with certainty that Emily was killed" the man explained to her.

"Oh. And when did you see it, exactly? Between one bottle of beer and the next?" she retorted, earning a glare from Aaron, who had been her boyfriend in high school.

"I would be grateful if you all could cooperate" David added at that point, intervening in defense of the person he now considered an acquaintance.

"And why do we have to relive that day just because of one of Matthew's whims?" Derek said, then he turned back to his former schoolmate and asked "What exactly did you see?".

"I heard a car arrive on the bridge at full speed, then the sound of Emily's body hitting the water and the car starting again. Do you still have doubts Emily was killed now?" Matthew replied, then he just waited for the answer he knew was going to come soon from his former schoolmates.

[reviewsbyliam]

“THE PRELUDE: ACT OF RECLAMATION” A LIVE SHOW BY OSÉ [SOLD OUT]

Headline Show Review - 09/12/2023

[Pictured below; Osé and band]

[Photographer: @bygideooon_ on Instagram]

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*DISCLAIMER* All photos and videos from this event are over on @reviewsbyliam on Instagram. Please head there after reading this article to witness the greatness that we did. Thank you and enjoy reading!

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I arrived in London on the 29th of November, suitcase in hand, 5 hour coach journey behind me and a now 45 minute Uber journey to Deptford. My boyfriend met me at the coach station, we spent the first evening just settling into the area, getting some food and having a few beverages (as you do), and then some well earned sleep after both travelling from separate parts of the UK.

Experiencing a day of being a tourist in London the next day was bewildering - I wanna live there now.. I'm definitely made for the big busy city life. We headed back to the hotel, and got ready to make our travels towards one of my long time internet friends first ever SOLD OUT DEBUT HEADLINE SHOW!!

The emotions were at an all time high, before we get into it though..

Here's a little backstory..

I've known Osé for 3/4 years now, first meeting on Twitter (now X) and forming a mutual connection through Ariana Grande and our overall love for music. I always knew that Osé loved to sing, I also knew that one day, he'd be on a stage somewhere giving it his all performing his music and not looking back - little did I know how real that thought would actually become.

Shortly after debuting this blog, Osé called me and told me the tear flowing news that was him booking his first ever headline show to debut his first new project. We screamed, laughed, I cried for him because I was so elated with pride, and then he asked me if I would join him in London, interview him as well as review his show, and help write the description for his event. I must've asked him several times if he was joking, following up with a loud !!YES!! and getting to planning..

Fast forward to the night of the show..

Entering the venue and the thought of not knowing what I was about to hear from Osé was anxiety inducing but extremely exciting nonetheless. I'd heard the music from his project prior to the show as he wanted me to be able to catch a feel of what was to come to help my own personal work, which was such a beautiful gesture. So I kind of knew the sounds of the night, but chose to not listen to them like they were the last songs on Earth so I could re-experience my first listen.

On stage before Osé was another uprising artist called Josh Pace, who was a very good musician to have before the main act as he drew the crowd in and the vocals were so raw. His bass tones were unreal.

After listening to Josh melt our ears, we mingled for a little while, grabbed a couple of drinks to calm the nerves, and then realised it was time..

I knew that when Osé took to the stage, it was going to become HIS world. We weren't here for us, we were here to witness a spectacle that can only be described as out of this universe.

Opening the show with an interlude describing who Osé is, some words being uplifting, some words describing Osé in a more vulnerable, judgmental light.. it was very honest and intriguing. The interlude interpreted that many people have things to say about Osé and his character, including himself, but nobody really knows the true him - hence the reclamation of his story.

Osé walks on stage, the room is flooded with screams, claps, hoots and hollers, he smiles and tries to take in the reception he has just received (which was extremely deserving) and starts to sing one of the most ICONIC songs of all time; Creep by Radiohead.

The raw power that exonerated from Osé’s vocal box was like watching a superhero find their power for the first time. The moment he opened his mouth, he was unstoppable, it was Osé’s time.

I just knew he was about to SMACK us in the jaw with this show after blowing us away with his rendition of Creep and my heart was racing, my knees were weak and I had a dry mouth. I was SO nervous for Osé, but one thing I noticed, Osé wasn’t nervous, because he was home.

Osé started singing his songs from his project, including one song that had a very personal meaning which Osé spoke to us about before he performed, allowing us to see that artists we listen to, admire and idolize are struggling with personal battles just like us. I wont be revealing the track names, because the project is still under review by Osé himself and this night was just about getting a feel for whats to come. But when the project is birthed, you'll see. The night was all about the people closest to Osé finding out why this project is in the works and how he is choosing to utilize it to expand his character and knowledge of the world, which in my eyes is a very safe choice to make as an upcoming artist because for you to do well, you have to make sure your work is cohesive and relatable, and that is what Osé's project embodies, truly.

The raw talent that exudes from Osé, whether its through speaking, writing, singing, anything - it is a talent to be acknowledged and afraid of. Osé's vocals were so strong, and the evidence of his ability to explore across genres is even stronger. We went from sad, to funk, to healing, to rocking out. Not to forget that the band which accompanied him on stage were well into their element also. The guy on the drums? I could've watched him go crazy for hours. And don't even get me started on the saxophone, we will be here for eternity.

Stage presence is a HUGE factor into an artists success, because nobody wants to see an artist just stand there on stage like a bowling pin and sing into a mic and then wave and walk off. Thank the Lord that wasn't the case for Osé. He walked onto that stage, announced himself, and just let his inhibitions go. When the crowd hyped him, it was like the funk spirit had taken over his soul and he just threw his hips like there was no tomorrow. He laughed, he jumped, he clapped, he cried but he also joked with the crowd and made it the most safest space I've ever had the pleasure of being in.

At the end of the night, Osé thanked everyone for attending his first sold out headline show, and had to halt a few tears (so did I, many times). I have never heard a room erupt into screams, whistles, chants, you name it, so loudly before. I was watching Osé on stage just taking in the love that he so righteously deserved, which made it a full circle moment for everyone involved. The gratitude displayed was immense and he truly and authentically cracked the egg of success and stepped into the rest of his life as a vocal powerhouse that night.

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Raw vocals, warming stage presence, immaculate band and organisation. Venue was cozy and made the vibe so much more intimate than it already was. Location was easy to find.

OVERALL REVIEW OF THE NIGHT: OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!!!!

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If you're wondering whether to give Osé a chance when he next does a show, wonder no more because I'm here to tell you that it would be one of the biggest regrets of your life if you didn't attend a show of his or at least take a dive into his socials and hear the heaven that leaves his mouth when he sings. I have an upcoming interview to be released with Osé, and we discuss his early life, career, fears, and so SO much more. We dive into topics about the night too, and just have a good old catch up about how much Osé's life has changed since his sold out headline show. Keep an eye on my Instagram page for more details surrounding the release of that!

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A message to Osé: Thank you for coming into my life and showing me that being creative is okay, it's okay to be vulnerable and show it in your work, it's okay to struggle and share that with people because we are all human and deserve peace. I will be forever thankful for the opportunities you graced upon me surrounding this event and I will forever be in debt to you. You are one of the most intelligent humans I've come across, and watching you blossom as an artist and a friend is a blessing that I will never let go. Never give up on who you dream to be, because the ability that you hold within yourself to make that happen is a lot more stronger than you'll ever know. I love you and I'm forever proud of you! L x

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Thanks for reading! Photos and Videos from

“THE PRELUDE: ACT OF RECLAMATION” LIVE SHOW BY OSÈ

will be posted to my Instagram @reviewsbyliam !

Head over there and check them out!

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Written by Liam Wibberley

09/12/2023

LW

[beingdreeyore]

Reflecting today on how much has changed...

Today has been tough. It feels like a rough day, one of the lowest days, like tears would be acceptable and necessary, but at the same time it looks so different to how these days used to look.

I woke exhausted but also relieved that it was one of my three 'work from home' days left for the year. One or two nights a week the pain in my spine is so bad that I spend the night tossing and turning, endlessly searching for some magical (and fictional) position that will ease it all so I can drift off to sleep. Midnight passes in a flash. 3am becomes 4am. The traffic starts outside. Then it's 5am. Suddenly the song that plays at sunrise on my speakers is gently floating through my tiny apartment and it's time to get up, regardless of how sleepless the night was.

Thursdays I do a walk though. Not the longest walk, but a decent walk before the day starts. Otherwise I might spend the entire day in the safety of the apartment and never hit a single heartbeat over 100 in a minute. It's tempting to be that person. I struggled the whole way with lumbar discomfort and a heaviness in my legs but reassured by the physio yesterday that what is happening is not doing damage, it's rebuilding.

Once home, I did a practice multiple choice exam. I passed but it wasn't the mark that I'd set in my mind. I know on exam day I have to factor in what will likely be a sleepless night the night before and also performance anxiety. It wasn't high enough to make me feel safe if both those things occur, but I still passed. Two months ago I failed in the most spectacular fashion and I thought I'd never get to this stage - I'm passing each and every practice run. It was a sleepless night and I want to sit down and sob, and yet I was still able to pass.

There's a bottle of wine in the fridge and as the urge to cry hit me at regular intervals, I thought about it. But I went back to my questions and my emails. Finalised my reports. Attempted some dancing on my lunch break. The alcohol is still unopened. Would it have been three months ago?

Dancing was a mess. It's only one move that's breaking me but the whole routine relies on it. It occurs in the first 15 seconds and then at regular intervals afterwards. After 35 minutes of not making it past the 16th second, I gave up. It beat me today. I wanted to cry again, but didn't. I wanted to binge eat, but didn't. I stuck to my nutrition plan. I made an appointment with the clinical psychologist I haven't seen in six months, just in case these symptoms linger. And all the while I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I didn't drink or eat or give up. The sadness comes too but the work still gets done.

The thing about this atypical depression is that it kicks my butt. It kicks my butt, it makes me fat, it takes my sleep, and it slows me down to a stage where I come home from work each day exhausted. But where the wins are though is that when I reflected on my goals for the month and my goals from last month, I'd met them all. Well, all except the weight loss.

The reduced drinking. The sticking to the nutrition plan. The exercise as dictated by the physio. The daily study. The meal prep. All those things I told myself I had to do to get through this, I did them. It didn't look like that the last time I was in this place. The last time it looked very much like I was drowning. I can usually manage a few on certain days, but I don't do all on every day. It hasn't been easy. It's been checklists and reminders and a lot of positive self-talk, as well as self tough love. There's also been inner negotiation and bargaining but it's paid off. Regardless of how low I feel the work is still getting done. How many times did I put these exams off because the lows were too much?

So today is a day of reflecting. It's not perfect. I still slip up. I have so much more work to do. But little things today like hearing my inner voice tell me that I'm not unloveable hit home. Has that inner voice ever told me that? I've told myself on repeat so many times that I'm not asking for too much when I ask for the bare minimum that I suddenly seem to believe it. It feels real and no longer contrived. I know what I want and it's more than being offered. It feels rude and ridiculous that men expect me to settle for far less knowing what they will get in return. When did I start believing that?

So there has been reflection. Its a win on a day like today and I'm taking it as such. I know it won't be perfect and I don't expect that of myself. But I have my checklists and my reminders and I know I will get through this too. Though I only see it when I look back, it's clear now that each time I get a little stronger and I get a little closer to beating this for good. Today I am grateful for finally having that realisation and for learning to love myself enough to be able to even get to this place.

[ajokeformur-ray]

This post has been a long time coming but I just haven't had the time, the energy or the words.

But now, eight months later, I have all three, so here we go.

@rosesloveletters and I FINALLY got to meet in person in October 2022. It was everything we dreamed of and more. We had a lot planned for our holiday, and I mean a lot. An entire A4 page full of ideas and we managed to do every single one of them and even a few more which were impulsive and thought of on the day. Rose took me to four or five different clothing shops because I wanted a very specific type of shirt and I wasn't willing to compromise on what I wanted (we practically studied the reference photos, looking for The Right One™️ and to this day, you need a crowbar to get it off me), she took me to Smoothie King just because I vaguely mentioned I wanted another of what I'd fallen in love with a few days before (read: I begged her for my favourite drink and she was generous enough to take me even though we only went the day before💖). Not to mention the time she took me to Hot Topic and watched me spend $200 in ten minutes on band t-shirts. I went feral.

But unanimously, our favourite times were when we watched films, ate snacks and cuddled on the sofa every night. Hanging off each other's shoulders at 1am in her kitchen because we somehow fucked up s'mores so bad that all we could do was laugh about it. Were they delicious because we made them well or because we were high on laughter and each other's company? I still can't decide and I don't think I'm supposed to.💕 All I wanted to do when I flew from the UK to the USA was give the woman I have come to know over the last (almost) four years as my sister, more of a family member to me than some actual biological family members, a good old squeeze. All I have ever wanted from Rose is a hug, and the more she gave me, the more I wanted. I stop counting after our tenth hug and started enjoying them without worrying about memorising the number.

Within just five minutes of meeting her for the first time, I had hugged her, touched her face to ascertain that she was real (this bit felt like a dream; I only recently asked and it was confirmed that I did actually do this🥺). I had managed to achieve a dream years in the yearning and making for the both of us, and headbutted her shoulder affectionately like a cat. I am not a touchy person, generally speaking, but with Rose, I was following her around her house like a puppy, wanting every second with her that I could. In the two weeks we were together, the longest amount of time we spent apart was when one of us was in the shower or we were sleeping. If those two things weren't happening, we were side by side and living the life.

I have never in my life felt so at peace and relaxed. I was in a totally new country having used my passport for the first time, been in an airport for the first time, flown for the first time, gone to America by myself with severe anxiety and depression (at the time I was undiagnosed and unmedicated) for the first time... I was a total wreck emotionally speaking and I had many an anxiety attack. I had people back home - primarily my aunt - pretty much holding my hand through phone and video calls to help me navigate the flying process and make it to Rose in one piece. I was so scared but then when I saw her coming at me through the crowd, it was like nothing mattered. I'd reached my sister, I was there with her... and that had been all I cared about. All the way between the home airport and the airport where we met, I just kept thinking Rose is on the other side, keep going, Rose is waiting... and it got me through one of the scariest self-imposed situations I've ever been in (so far).

All the daydreams in the years before we got to meet... none of it lived up to the reality of seeing Rose running towards me... I'm surprised we didn't knock each other to the floor, honestly. We practically flew at each other. Even now, I think of hugging her every day and meeting her again. It usually makes me cry, or at the very least go about my day smiling to myself. I am so so grateful to and for Rose... she really is like a sister to me, we share many similarities and any differences between us are minor. The aesthetic differences between us makes me giggle; sometimes talking to her is like talking to me, but our clothes went in the opposite direction to one another. I love her so much, so much, and I miss her every day.💔

The point is, I crossed the world to give Rose a hug and she welcomed me with an open home, open ears and open arms and I'll never be able to thank her enough for her warmth and generosity; not just once but twice, because I have already fully paid for my next journey to see her again in September 2023!🥺😍🙏I just... I love her so so much, she's the sister I always wanted. I wanna grow old with her, but I suspect I already am.🥰🫂💖

[remingtonisleithal]

Mortician's Daughter

Andy Biersack x female reader

Word Count: 3.2k...

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, big on the angst, pregnancy and miscarriage/still birth I think that's it.

Summary: it's my take on a fic based on the song mortician's daughter. For added angst, listen while reading. Warning, I made myself cry by writing this, but it does have a happy ending. It's also kinda bad as I wrote it fast and haven't really edited. Sorry! If you like, please reblog!

They were only teenagers. Just kids, messing around, trying knew things. Falling in love. It all went down so fast. But they'd rather the pain of the empty ending than banish the beginning.

On a hot summer day, Y/N was struggling with school. Socialising was terrifying, her few friends weren't so friendly and she was terrified to start her last year. Again. The bell rang and she got up, dusting the grass off her skirt and walking her way to room 15 when she slammed into some.

“Oh, sorry,” both mumbled in sink. Y/N looked up into the vibrant blue eyes of a face she'd never seen before. They both smiled at each other, anxious to get to class. Y/N made it just on time, sliding into a desk near the back of the room. At least then she could hide.

“Alrighty everyone, welcome back to school. I hope your holidays have been good and well rested to prepare you for the big school year!” Mr White said, tormenting students with the fact that it was their last year of school, like they didn't know the hell ahead. But it was more than any of them knew.

Then there was a knock on the classroom door, and Mr White opened the door to find Mr Hallway/Mr Blue Eyes. He looked in the room and held up a hand to say hi.

“OK everyone, new student. You know the drill, be nice, make friends and he does not come from Russia, so don't let another Brody happen, OK?”

“Ay, fuck off sir!” Brody (famous for pretending to be Russian for 2 terms until an actually Russian kid spoke to him) defended light-heatedly.

Mr White pulled a face back. Ah, school.

“This is-” Mr White dragged out until Blue Eyes spoke.

“Hi, my name's Andy.” His voice was darkly heavenly. Y/N felt weak. Oh no no no, it's WAY too early for this, Y/N told herself.

“OK Andy, take any spot available and don't let these guys scare ya.”

Andy looked around the room and recognized Y/N. Wanting to make a friend he sat next to her.

“Hey, I'm so sorry for crashing into you earlier,” He said, dumping his bag at his feet. “I'm Andy.” he said, stupidly, mentally cursing himself. Wow, great intro, he thought.

“No, I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going,” Y/N managed, trying to keep her anxiety at bay. “I'm Y/N,” she said, smiling.

The class went on, but Y/N was hardly able to think. The guy next to her was too damn cute, with piercing blue eyes, deep voice, black hair and a lip ring. A lip. Ring. And she was supposed to concentrate when she was sitting next to him?? Impossible.

The bell rang and Y/N jumped a little, startled. She saw Caitlin look at her and laugh. Y/n just sighed, and shoved her book deep in her bag.

“Hey, um, what class do you have next?” Andy asked. Y/N turned around fast, eyes wide.

“Oh, um, lemme check,” she pulled out her new schedule to find period 2, English.

“English, room 10. You?” She asked, fiddling with her bag.

“Oh cool, I've got the same. Mind if I sit next to you again?”

It was this simple sentence that started their friendship. At the end of the week they met up for lunch, talking the whole time about their passions and dreams. Two weeks later Andy was having dinner at Y/N's house and watching movies all night.

A month after that, Andy and Y/N were standing side by side, watching the sun set over mountains, leaning on the railing at a lookout. They could each feel their rapid heartbeats, energy rise just from sanding so close.

“Y/N,” Andy mumbled, looking over at his best friend.

“Yes?” she replied, voice high with anxiety.

“I... Would you...” he chewed his lip ring and turned back to the sunset, gathering his courage. “Can I do something?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Y/N wasn't sure she knew what Andy was going to do, but was surprised when she felt him hand on her neck, gently guiding her lips towards his. Eyes fluttering shut, the two of them lost themselves in each other.

Kisses led to dates, which led to first love, vulnerable and new, scared but brave, determined to love with all they had. They were perfect for each other, and for a few months the world slipped away. All that mattered was Andy's laugh and Y/N's smile.

One night when Y/N's parents were out of town, there was a knock on the door.

Y/N rushed downstairs to open the door, knowing it would be her boyfriend, her soulmate, Andy. And being Andy meant she didn't need to change out of her pj's... But maybe taking her hair out of a ponytail might be nice.

The door opened to reveal a bouquet of roses of all colours—including blue and black roses, which took Andy a long time to dye—and behind the flowers, stood a boy in a leather jacket, eyes like the moon and smile brighter than the sun.

“Andyyy,” Y/N said, in way of thanking him.

“Y/Nnnn” Andy replied, saying 'you're welcome'.

Andy wrapped one arm around her waist and kissed her deeply, while she brought her hand to the back of his neck. Staying kissing, the pair moved back into the house, shutting the door. As the kiss grew in intensity, the pair climbed the stairs, hand in hand, until they reached Y/N's room. Passionate kisses turned into more, and they became bound to each other in a way neither would expect.

Only a month later Y/N stumbled against the bathroom wall, sliding down and sitting on the floor in shock. Positive. She was pregnant. But she was barely 18! What was she going to do, what would she tell Andy? Oh my gosh, what about her parents? They'd be so disappointed. She couldn't tell anyone. She'd just get an abortion. But how? With no money, no support, no ride? She couldn't keep it secret forever. She needed to talk to Andy, he'd know what to do, and he'd support her no matter what. Just the thought of him calmed her down.

Picking up her phone, she texted him.

Hey baby, she typed out, then deleting. Baby. Nope, nope, not thinking about that right now.

Hey, can we talk?

Her phone buzzed within seconds.

Uh oh. Good talk or bad talk?

Y/N: I'm not sure. I'm scared.

Andy: I can be over in a few

Y/N: No please don't come over. Can I go to yours?

Andy: Of course xxx

Y/N picked herself up off the floor and wiped the tears from her face. After a deep breath, she wrapped the pregnancy test up in toilet paper, put it in her bag, and went to Andy's.

Andy knew something was wrong, if not by the text, by the red, puffy eyes of his girlfriend. The second he opened the door and took one look at her, she was pulled into his chest, as he left kisses in her hair.

“C'mon in.” He mumbled, holding her hand and shutting the door.

Once the pair was safely in Andy's room, Y/N started crying and shaking. Andy guided her to his bed where she sat for a minute, taking deep breaths.

“OK. Um. Andy. I have something to tell you.” her shaking voice scared him, but he steeled himself, determined to replace her tears with a smile, even if it meant only being friends.

Y/N reached into her bag and pulled out the test. Andy sank down to the floor in shock.

“Say something,” Y/N whispered. “Please.”

“I love you. I'm not leaving unless you tell me to. Whatever you need, Y/N, I'm here, OK? I'm gonna support you through this, no matter what.”

Those words, while exactly what she needed to hear, caused Y/N to burst into uncontrollable tears, sobbing hysterically in her love's arms.

Many months later, Y/N was in hospital, giving birth. And though he was late, Andy was there as soon as he could, soothing his girlfriend and holding her hand, helping however he could for the birth of his son and the sake of his love.

Then one of the worst things that could happen, did. What should have been a healthy baby boy never took his first breath. There was screaming and crying, but not that of an infant.

Y/N held tight to her baby boy, crying over the smallest corpse, as a shattered Andy sobbed with her, ignoring the nurses and laying beside Y/N to hold them both.

No amount of tears would wash out the pain.

A year later, Y/N and Andy were still together, recovering from their loss, never losing their love. But their time together had an expiry date. It was set those years ago, Andy's flight to LA. He was going to be a singer. They booked the flight together, for both of them, in a haze of romance determined dreams. They were going to make it.

But life had other plans, and Y/N had to look after her family for a while, whilst her parents recovered and got back on their feet. She couldn't go with him. But she wasn't going to stop the love of her life from his dreams, just cause of a silly girl like herself.

They walked into the airport, air humid from the rush of passengers. Andy pulled one of his suitcases, Y/N pulled the other, determined to be helpful before she breaks down.

Then it was time to say goodbye.

They knew the chances of lasting long distance were low, and they'd be busy, there would be time difference, and they each thought the other could easily fall for someone better who could physically be there for them. Even if their lives where each other.

A single tear slid down Y/N's cheek. Andy wiped the tear away with his thumb, bringing her in for a kiss. After a long, slow kiss, which all but said 'I love you', Andy pulled away. Forehead pressed to Y/N's, he spoke.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said, with a low voice. “Please, open your eyes. I need to see your eyes before I go.” With that a tear slipped down his face, and Y/N opened her eyes.

“There's my favourite blue eyes,” she sniffled. He let out a small laugh. “I love you, you know.”

Andy just nodded, holding her hand with one hand, her cheek with the other.

“And I always will.”

“I will always love you, too.”

She kissed his hand that was on her cheek, and he pulled away. She watch Andy walk further away from her, each step another crack in her broken heart. She was just about to leave herself when he turned around.

“I LOVE YOU Y/N! I'LL BE BACK, I PROMISE!” Andy yelled, waving, desperate not to leave, unable to stay. It was his fate to go. Then, he whispered it again, “I love you.” and while she couldn't hear it, Y/N knew the movement of his mouth.

She yelled tried to yell back.

“I-” but her voice broke. She held up her hands in the shape of a heart, and whispered “I love you too.”

Andy smiled. Nodded. And got on the plane.

It was a cold sleepless night in another hotel bed. Andy was tossing and turning, trying to sleep. But every time he closed his eyes he just saw Y/N. It had been a year. But his love was never gone.

Grabbing himself a pen and paper, Andy got out of bed and sat at the table in the hotel room, leaving only a dim lamp on. And he started to write.

Tears slipped down his face. But he kept writing. It was the only thing he could do, remember and write, or regret and fall apart.

“I open my lungs dear

I sing this song at funerals... no rush.

These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.

Baby boy you've held so tightly,

This pain it visits almost nightly

Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.”

“I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.

A universal still.

No rust.

No dust will ever grow on this frame,

One million years, and I will say your name.

I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flight those years ago,

I said, "I love you, " as I left you.

Regrets still haunt my hollow head,

But I promised you I will see you again, again.”

Black Veil Brides. Andy's band. Y/N was so proud of him. Every time she heard their music, she couldn't help but smile, even if that smile killed her a little. She was happy for him, and sad for her. But she only cared that he was happy.

She'd just woken up, her dog barking again at the postie. Why can't they just be friends? She thought to herself as she got out of bed. It was too late, she was already awake, might as well get some food.

After breakfast Y/N got the post from the letter box. Riffling through, bored, she walked inside. Bank, bank, bills, bills, bills, mum and dad, me, bi—oh shit I got one.

She recognized the hand writing. She stopped walking, in the middle of the front yard. Dropping the other letters, she scanned the envelope addressed to her. She opened the letter so carefully the envelope didn't rip.

Unfolding the letter, she took a deep breath and started to read.

“Dear Y/N,

I'm not sure if you'll even get this letter, but I have to try. I hope you're doing well, and your parents are healthy again. I hope you still have that beautiful smile, the one that means so much to me.

You don't need to answer this letter if you don't want to, but I can't stop thinking about you. I promised I'd be back. And, well, my band and I are performing back home. Maybe I could see you again? If you would like.

This letter is saying way more than I was planning, the main reason I'm writing is I've written a song for you. It's called mortician's daughter. These are the lyrics,”

Y/N read the lyrics and broke down, sitting on the grass, wiping tears away as though it would wipe the memories. Anything but facing this pain. She missed him more than she could bare. And his words only made her love him more. But he was not there.

She got to the end and saw 2 tickets were tapped the bottom of the letter.

“I put 2 tickets if you want to come, I'm not sure if you'll bring someone with you though. If you do, they're welcome backstage too.

Love,

Andy”

There were no kisses like there used to be. But he wrote her a song. He said he loves her. Was it just for the song? Y/N picked up the letter and walked inside before she could overthink.

It had been near two years since that fateful flight, and Y/N was terrified to go to a concert. She wore her favourite outfit, and the leather jacket that Andy had left a her house those years ago. The familiarity soothed her.

The drive to the concert wasn't long, but the wait to go inside was eternity. She wanted to watch the concert before meeting him again. After all, Black Veil Brides wasn't just her favourite band because of Andy (though that certainly helped).

When the doors opened, and others rushed to buy merch and go to the toilet after waiting in line for hours, Y/N got as close to the stage as possible. She watched the opening band. She watched everyone come on stage. And she saw Andy.

Andy greeted the crowd, eyes searching for Y/N's. Just as Andy was about to announce what song they'd play, he saw her. Their eyes met. His breath caught. For a second, there was no one else in that room. Only Y/N and Andy.

“Actually, for a change we're gonna start with a song called Mortician's Daughter, if that's OK with you guys,” he said, turning around to check with his band, all of which nodded and said 'yeah'.

Andy sang from his heart, hardly moving the whole song, putting everything he had into the song. The audience sang along, but Y/N just stood there, paralyzed. Looking up at the man she had loved since she was 17 and bumped into him in a school hallway.

By the end of the song, Andy looked directly into her eyes as he say “now I'm home again”. Y/N couldn't stop the tear from falling, and as the crowd cheered, Andy blinked back tears, looking up.

After the concert, Y/N lingered as the crowd dissipated. Then a bouncer came up to her and asked her name. Once he heard it, he asked if she wanted to go backstage. She walked down through the door with a pounding heart, and at the end of the hallway was another door.

“They'll be in there,” he said with a smile.

OK. I can do this. Just going to see Andy. An old friend. Who you loved and still love. And it's bee years, well, nearly 2. OK not helping. Shit, I can't do this-

Just as she was about to talk herself out of it, the door opened, and out walked CC.

“Oh hi! Hey guys, we got a meet and greet!” CC announced excitedly. “Wait, are you...?” he asked.

“Y/N,” she replied.

“Hey, come on in,” he held the door open for her. “By the way, it's nice to meet ya.”

Y/N walked into a small room, full of heat and smelling of sweat, as the guys cooled down from playing under the intense stage lights. CC stood behind her, Lonnie and Jinxx sat on a lounge, Jake was standing at a water cooler. And Andy was in the middle of the room, standing. She could just about see his heart pounding.

The silence in the room became uncomfortable, and the guys took it as a hint to leave.

“Yeah, we'll just ah,” CC said, as they headed out. Jinxx winked at Andy and Jake rolled his eyes at him.

Once the door was such, Andy had the courage to speak.

“You actually came.” he stated the obvious.

“Yeah.”

“Alone?” he asked, but was really asking, 'are you dating anyone'.

“No one to take with me.” she said, knowing what he meant and saying 'no'. “What you said, in the song, is it-”

“Yes,” they both laughed awkwardly as he didn't let her finish. “It's true, if that's what you mean.”

“It is?”

“I still love you. I always will.”

Y/N walked forward in large, confident strides, not stopping until she crashed her lips onto Andy's. Surprised, he stilled for a moment, but then melted back into her arms. They kissed and kissed, smiled and cried tears of relief and kissed. And when they stopped to breath, Andy looked Y/N in the eyes.

"I've missed you so much," Y/N said, with a small sob. "I love you Andy."

“I love you, Y/N," he cupped her cheek, looked her deep in the eyes, and pressed his forehead against hers. "With you, I'm home again.”

Taglist: @smiling-girl @fandomfoodiedancer @sab-falco @fedorable-killjoys I'm not sure if I've tagged the right people so please let me know if you want to be on or off the taglist! :)

[stanurines1mp]

I Wanna Be Yours

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x Fem!Reader (she/her)

type: angst

an: this is kinda long compared to the last few ones. also, i might be taking a few days break bcoz my school is starting soon and i have like 6 months worth of homework to finish in a week. eheh i fucking hate life. but anyways, i hope u enjoy. also, im fucking obsessed with the idea of calling Eren as "Ren" and Armin as "Min". just me imagining them as my boyfriends- also, inspired by the song I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys.

warnings: angst but not that sad tbh, a little drinking but they're all 21+, um pretty sure that's all. eren and y/n both are super fucking dumb though. let me know if i miss anything :)

~~~

If there was a person that dominated Eren Jaeger's mind at all times, it was you.

You with your beautiful silken hair. You with your sweet, caring voice. You with your bright, joyful eyes. You with your defined button nose. You with your pink, smiling lips.

You, you, you.

The only thing he hated about you was how you were too blind.

Too blind to see the kind of jerks that clouded your mind.

Too blind to see the person you should be with was right in front of you all along.

Too blind to notice how it was Eren who was there every step of the way.

Too blind to notice how Eren was the one who held your body in his while you cried because some jerk just stood you up.

Too blind to notice how Eren was so fucking in love with you, it hurts.

He hated that you were too blind to notice him.

And he hated, just fucking hated, how he didn't hate you at all.

You were easily the best person he had ever met in his entire life. And he remembered the fortunate day so well, he recounted it in the back of his mind every time he saw you.

It was the first day of class, college freshman year. He was in a conversation with one of his friends on the phone. He was talking to Armin, calming the blond who was an absolute wreck about attending his class.

"Relax, you're literally the smartest person I know, Armin. You have nothing to worry about," he spoke calmly into the phone.

"It's not about being smart. What if they don't like me? What if I don't fit in?" The blond's distant voice babbled with anxiety.

"They will like you. And if they don't, then fuck them. Trust me, you'll be fine, if not great," he replied back, slightly amused by Armin's usual antics.

"Okay," Armin replied with a low voice.

"Seriously I don-"

"Oh shit, sorry."

Oh shit, sorry.

Your first words to him were oh shit, sorry. And even with those three, absolutely accidental and instinctive words, you had managed to gain every bit of his attention.

And he had never been more focused on anything in his whole life.

He noticed everything that happened in that one, unfortunately too quick second.

He noticed the feeling of your bare forearm against his. The small hair on your skin prickled his and he swear he thought he felt an electric jolt his entire being.

You were wearing a pink crop top with long blue jeans. Your hair was tied up in a high ponytail, two strands hanging out by the sides of your hair to accompany your curtain bangs.

Your right arm was carrying a white tote bag which he assumed held your essentials for your first day. In your right hand was a gripped phone. Your eyes were indulged in whatever was on your screen that you bumped into him.

But he decided that it was his fault. He decided that you bumped into him not because you weren't looking but because he was standing too close to the corner of the hallway. He decided that you shouldn't be apologizing. Instead, it should be him.

Because how could he, Eren Jaeger, be in the way of someone as sublime as you?

"I'm really sorry," you apologized, turning off your phone and throwing it into your tote bag in one swift movement. "I wasn't looking."

"Eren?" He heard Armin's distant voice from the phone. He had forgotten all about Armin when he was too absorbed by your presence.

"Sorry, Min, I gotta go," Eren's voice trailed, not even listening to anything Armin had to say before he ended the call. "It's fine, really. I was in your way," he chuckled lightly, causing you to smile.

And fuck, if that wasn't the smile of perfection, he didn't know what was.

"No, I really shouldn't have looked at my phone while walking. I'm really sorry," you unknowingly put a hand on his forearm.

Again, the action completely missed your mind. But the same could not be said for Eren.

The whole day, he wondered about you. He wondered what your name was. He wondered what you were majoring in. He wondered if you had a boyfriend, if someone was lucky enough to be touched by your grace.

He had no idea if it was fate or luck or chance or all of it at once, but he was blessed once again when he saw you sitting in a lecture hall. The lecture hall where his class was supposed to be held.

Again, your eyes were indulged deeply by whatever was on the screen of your phone. The lecture hall was mostly empty, with only a few scattered students in their chosen seats. But he didn't care to look at anyone else. Only you.

Because how could anyone ever appear in his sight when you already governed every inch of him?

Your hair was worn in a half up half down kind of style. Again, two strands were loose at your sides to accompany your bangs.

You were wearing a graphic tee shirt of a band he didn't know. Your supposed-to-be exposed body was covered with a knitted cardigan. It was an odd pairing of clothes but it looked so good on you.

The gears in Eren's brain were turning, thinking, wondering. Should he approach you? Surely, you'd remember him even as the guy you accidentally bumped just a few days ago. Right?

He had no idea if you would or not.

Because again, who was he other than some guy who was lucky enough to have been in your line of sight?

But against all odds, Eren approached you. You could feel a figure walking towards where you sat.

At first, you really didn't care. You were too focused on your phone, your inability to socialize overtaking your curiosity. But you had to look to the left when the figure cleared out their throat awkwardly.

"Is this seat taken?"

Your eyes widened slightly, recognizing him as the guy you accidentally stumbled upon the other day. Your cheeks blushed a little at the thought of someone wanting to sit next to you.

You carefully shook your head before returning back to the screen of your phone which showed a picture of some cats because you loved animals so the main pages of your social media mostly showed animals.

You were ready to continue your usual act of avoiding people when the guy spoke to you. You hadn't expected him to but he did.

And part of you was kinda glad because maybe you'd be able to at least make a friend. But another part of you was scared because you had no idea how to talk to strangers.

"So, how long have you been here?"

It was a stupid question. Eren wanted to hit himself for asking you such a stupid question. But he wanted to say something.

He wanted to be able to hear your voice again. And maybe, if the universe was on his side, be your friend.

"Um, not that long. I just like to come earlier. Get ready and whatnot, y'know?" You replied, slightly pursing your lips.

"Yeah, yeah, totally."

His lips were pursed, too. His head nodded awkwardly along with his words. God, he wanted to seriously dig up a hole and crawl into it.

But at least he got to hear your voice again. But that was it. Silence crept up again and your fingers found safety back on the bright screen of your phone.

"My name's Eren," he broke the silence again, this time looking at you.

"Y/N," you smiled, your eyes meeting his green ones. Pretty, you thought.

Jesus fuck, she is gorgeous, he thought.

You were glad that you didn't hide away from him after that introduction. You were glad that you continued to have conversations with him even though your heart was beating apeshit crazy because of your social anxiety.

You were glad that you exchanged your contacts with him. You were glad that you accepted his offer to meet him at the coffee shop on campus.

While you were glad, Eren was just absolutely fucking raptured.

He just couldn't believe someone as wonderful as you actually wanted to spend time with him. He was so sure his heart was going to fucking burst when you said that he was your best friend.

Eren didn't know that he was in love with you.

Even with the way his mind could only think of you, he didn't know. Even with the way his heart fluttered with warmth every time he saw you, he didn't know. Even with the way his whole body heated up at the touch of your skin against his, he didn't know.

He only knew when you were both deep in your late-night conversation.

That specific night, you were supposed to be studying. You had a test next Wednesday. Despite your protests, Eren insisted on staying up with you.

His face brightened the screen of your laptop while your face embellished his monitor. But instead of studying, you were telling him about an interaction you had shared with someone that day.

"He was so fucking sweet," you smiled a dopey one, mind high with simple infatuation.

"Wait, when did you meet this guy?" Eren's voice questioned.

"He's in my English class," you answered casually, occasionally looking over your notes. "And oh my God, Ren, you should have seen the way he was talking about the discussion. Fuck, it was so attractive."

"Uh-huh," he replied blankly.

Eren felt a foul, queasy feeling rising up to his chest. He hated it. And he hated how dreamy you look when talking about some guy. Some other guy that's not him.

"I'm serious, Ren!" You laughed, instantly relaxing him despite the uneasy feeling he felt. "And he asked me out," you sighed dreamily.

"And what'd you say?" His eyes were flashed with hurt but again, you were too blind to notice it.

"Yes, of course! He's literally the hottest person I've ever met," you smiled happily.

Eren tried his best to look happy for you. He was happy that you were happy. But he was upset that you were happy because of someone else. Someone who wasn't him. Someone he wished he was.

But Eren stayed with you. He listened to your exciting retelling of the date you had with that guy. He didn't want to listen to it all. But he did because he wanted to be good for you.

All Eren could focus on when you were so far in your cloud nine was the brightness in your eyes. That specific brightness always came out when you were in a world of your own. And he loved that look on you.

Because it meant that you were happy. And how could he not be happy when you're happy? How could he not be happy if he was one of the lucky ones who were able to witness your godly smile?

That's why he felt so angry that he could rip out the throat of each and every person on Earth (except you), and it still wouldn't be enough outlet for his anger. That's why he felt that way when you knocked on his dorm room on a rainy night.

Your clothes -a crop top and a mini skirt- were soaked with the rain. Your hair was absolutely drenched, your curls no longer visible due to the water washing it straight. Your mascara and eyeliner were running along with your pale complexion in the form of black tears.

He was studying for Calculus, his laptop opened in a call with Armin who was helping him when he heard the strong and loud knocks. His roommate was out that night.

At first, Eren just wanted to ignore whoever the fuck was at the door. But then the knocks got louder, stronger, faster. Eren groaned, uttering a small apology to Armin before excusing himself to the door.

When he opened the door, his tired face was readily formed in a scowl. But immediately, his features softened at the sight of you. Only for a second.

Because then worry took over. Worry for the fact that you were standing in front of his door, each part of you soaked by the rain, tears flowing.

"Y/N," he frowned, lips slightly agape with shock.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know where to go," you cried, guilt echoing the confines of your being.

"it's fucking raining outside," he gently pulled you in, not caring that his floors were messed by the rain you brought in with you.

"Shit, Ren, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. Shit, I'll just go," you rambled upon seeing the face on Eren's screen who you assumed was the best friend he always talked about.

"No no, Y/N, relax. Hold on, okay?" You held your arms gently, head leaned down to level with yours. He turned, quickly grabbing his blanket to wrap around your shivering body. "Hey, let's stop here, I'll text you later. Thanks again, Min," Eren rushed, ending the call before Armin could say another word.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to come here and make a whole mess. I'm so sorry, I just-" you sobbed, head slightly shaking with guilt.

"Relax, relax, slow down," he cooed, tucking away the wet strands of hair that stuck to your face. "Let's get you changed first, hmm?"

"My clothes- I don't-"

"Don't worry about that. Just use mine, okay?"

He smiled a little when you finally responded with a small nod. His hands left your arms, the loss of heat causing your body to shiver even though the blanket was tightly wrapped around you.

You watched as he walked towards his closet, taking out a sweater, a pair of sweats, and a clean, unused towel. He walked back to you, resting the clothes on his table near you.

"I'm gonna wait outside for a sec. You can put your clothes in the hamper. Just call me back when you're done changing, yeah?" His voice was so low, barely above a whisper.

"Okay," you hiccuped, your nose burning with the sniffling cold.

You waited until the door of the room closed. Slowly, you unwrapped the blanket that hugged your body with warmth.

You walked towards the hamper slowly, your bare legs shivering due to the cold. You stripped the wet clothes off your body, putting them in the hamper like Eren told you to.

Then you dried yourself with the warm towel he graciously lent you before you put on his sweats and sweater. The thick fabric of his clothes was so warm, you instantly felt comforted.

You can smell the faint natural scent Eren wore. It was comforting to you.

"You can come in now," you called out.

Eren almost missed the sound of your voice had he not focused on waiting for your signal. Once you gave him the green light to enter, he turned the doorknob, opening the door into his room. His lips curled into a comforting smile while he closed the door before striding towards you.

"Ren, I'm really so-"

"Stop apologizing, Y/N," he sighed with assurance. "Tell me what happened," he ushered you to sit on his bed while he grabbed a watered bottle for you.

"He cheated on me," you hiccuped lightly.

Those four words broke his heart more than you could ever know. Eren thought he could just run out of the door to find that son of a bitch that dared hurt your pretty little heart. His body froze because God, how could someone ever do that to you? To you?

"We were supposed to go out tonight," you explained, feeling the body dip with his weight. "But he forgot that we made plans. So he was out with his other girl," you scoffed with hatred.

"That fucker," Eren clicked his tongue, nostrils flaring with the same amount of hatred you held, if not more. "I'm gonna fucking kill him," he huffed.

You'd never seen Eren so angry.

Eren was always a sweet guy whenever you're around him. You've seen him annoyed, but nothing compared to this anger that steamed out of his facial features.

"I'm so fucking stupid," you laughed humorlessly, falling your back against Eren's warm sheets.

Eren swore he got angrier at your statement. You got cheated on but you're blaming yourself? He wanted to scream at you for saying that.

How could you say that?

How could you say that it's your fault?

How could anything ever be your fault?

"God, I can't believe I fell for his stupid charm," you groaned, crying into your hands.

"I swear to God, Y/N, if you say it's your fault again, I will actually murder him," he seethed, causing you to peek your eyes through the gaps between your fingers. "He fucking cheated on you. How is that your fault?"

"I jus-"

"No, Y/N. It's not your fault," his tone softened.

"You enver think anything is my fault," you replied, an eyebrow quirked up.

Nothing could ever be your fault.

"Doesn't matter. Yhis, him, it's not your fault. He's the stupid one, not you," Eren mumbled, causing you to sigh, wiping away a fallen tear. "You don't have class tomorrow, right?"

"No," you shook your head.

"Stay here," his offer was in such a low voice, you almost missed it. ALmost.

"Eren, I can't," you shook your head, straightening your body. "I already ruined your night. I don't wanna be a burden."

Again, Eren felt his heart break.

How could you say that? You could never ruin his night.

How could you ever be a burden? Not to anyone, not to him.

"You didn't ruin my night," he rolled his eyes but not unkindly. "You are not a burden," he cupped your cheeks in his hands. "You can stay here and you will," he insisted, green eyes straight looking into yours.

"Where will you sleep?" You questioned, the touch of his hand against your face so smooth and sweet and warm.

"Don't worry about me. I can sleep on the chair," he answered casually.

"I don't want you to," you sighed, closing your eyes.

"I don't ca-"

"The bed's big enough for us two," your words hit the edge of his ears like the melody that would erupt from a harp sent from heaven.

"No," he gulped, not wanting you to feel like you have to do that.

"Please," you cried. "Please stay with me."

And so he did.

That night, he could feel every part of you against him. Your back was against his chest, the blanket covering you up until your neck.

His right arm was bent under his head for support while his left arm wrapped around your torso. He could hear your soft little snores, the cutest sounds he'd ever heard from anyone.

He watched with a smile as you fell asleep peacefully in his arms. Occasionally, before and while you slept, his lips touched the top of your head.

Eren knew one thing as he laid beside you in his bed that night.

Eren wanted to protect you.

Protect you from the kind of guys that hurt you.

Protect you from everything bad.

Because he was so in love with you, it hurt him just to see a sad shift in your angelic complexion.

So whenever you both went to a party, Eren would make sure to always keep an eye on you. If he catches sight of a guy trying to flirt with you, he'd interfere.

He can see the way those guys were eyeing your figure but you wouldn't notice. He can see the meaning behind the touches of those guys.

But unfortunately, he couldn't protect you all too well. Because again and again, guys after guys, you'd come to his door just like that one night, eyes watered down by your tears.

"He stood me up!"

"He broke up with me!"

"He's such an asshole."

All those words were said. All by guys you always thought were nice.

"He's so sweet, though."

"I swear he's different, Ren."

"He's not like the other guys."

But 'he' was. No matter who 'he' was, 'he' always ended up hurting you.

Eren thought that your experiences with those shitty guys were because your destination would be him. It was unlikely but that's what he wanted.

But he began to realize that he was wrong.

"Eren, this is my boyfriend," you greeted Eren with a smile.

Your boyfriend sat next to you in the diner booth. Eren slid in the seat across from you, his face a rather bored expression. Hearing that you had a boyfriend didn't really phase him anymore.

Because like he thought, this new guy would just be like the others. He'd find a way to hurt your pretty little heart so you can go to Eren.

Because he wanted to be the one by your side through everything. Because he's in love with you.

Eren tried to be as normal as possible during lunch. Once you all ordered your food and drinks, Eren was forced to look at you and your boyfriend.

That's when it hit him.

He saw the look in your boyfriend's eyes. He saw not the hungry, lustful gaze of men that he often recognized in your exes. Instead, he saw the same, all too familiar look that he sees every day. Except every day, he sees it in the mirror of his room.

He'd see it when he washes his face. He'd see it when he's brushing his teeth. He'd see it when he fixes his hair. Everything a mirror would reflect him, Eren would see that look.

It was the look of love.

Love towards you.

Eren had only seen it on himself.

He didn't expect to see that look on someone else other than him.

But he saw it so fucking clearly in the eyes of your boyfriend.

Eren just watched the view of your boyfriend with an arm around you. Your boyfriend's eyes were a thin slit, caused by the wide smile on his face.

Your boyfriend didn't just look at you like you were a girl to be used, a girl to hurt.

Your boyfriend looked at you like you were the only person in the world.

That was how Eren looked at you.

What hurts more was that Eren could see your eyes reciprocating the same look towards your boyfriend.

Eren never received that look from you.

So while Eren watched the love of his life so happy due to someone else, the same words rang in his head;

I wanna be yours.

I wanna be yours.

I wanna be yours.

[i-like-sparkly-things]

Right in front of you

A Halstead!sister

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? Or being caught?"

Requested : Yes by @study-coffee-chicago : They found out she cheated on a test in high school...and Jay's the one who has to pick her up.

Warnings : angry!Jay (lots of it), alcohol, swearing, anxiety attacks

Note : I am so so so sorry this so longg 😭 I ended up so far away from the actual request kayela please don't block mee 😭 butt I've learned alot in writing abt active and passive voices and using more imagery Yayy!! I'm so glad that yall are ok with my grammar thank uu🥺

MASTERLIST HERE

The piles of homework and flashcards you needed to memorize had no end in sight, and now that Will was taking nightshifts along with his usual double shifts, and intelligence was tracking down an underground drug cartel, you spent most days alone, allowing your mind to engulf you.

Every time you sat down to study, you felt a striking pain in your chest. In mere seconds the air was sucked out of your lungs and you found yourself panting, desperate to get oxygen back into your body.

You would be surrounded by books and worksheets and you could swear the walls of your room were closing in towards you, trapping you in a sea of incomplete work.

You failed to follow the schedules and to do lists you had made for yourself. Staring at them, hoping the essays would write themselves.

All you needed, was a break. A moment to relax from anything and everything.

So when your best friend mentioned that her brother used to drink a little before he appeared for an exam, your mind was quick to catch on.

Last night you had borrowed a little bit of beer from Jay's stash of alcohol and took a few sips of it as you studied.

The more you drank, the less bitter it became. It was a weird, new sensation, but it worked nonetheless.

Except now, you were sitting in the girls bathroom at school, ramaging through your notes, trying to recollect what you had learned yesterday.

You saw what you had underlined and highlighted— names in pink and important dates in yellow—but your mind came up blank.

Flipping the pages you saw people in wigs, and castles burning to the ground —None of which you recognized.

A wave of anxiety rippled through you unable to comprehend your next thought —you were going to fail.

Your head was throbbing as you ran a hand down face, massaging your temples trying to calm yourself down.

You took out your water bottle that you had filled with beer and swallowed a few gulps, hoping that it would help you think straight.

You groaned, feeling the sting of alcohol at the back of your throat, popping some mints into your mouth, you ran towards the exam hall.

***

Your foot bounced on the polished wood floors as sweat pooled on your forehead.

You thought you were careful —only taking a peek from your friends answer sheet when Mrs.Ling's back was facing you.

Everything would have worked out if it wasn't for that kid sitting behind you. In a split second your teacher turned around, when he dropped his pen, to see you peering over your partner's desk.

Now you were sitting in the principles office praying that Jay wouldn't be the one picking you up.

You could already imagine his anger at you for pulling him away from his case, only to find you cheated.

Unfortunately luck was not on your side today.

You dare not look at Jay as he entered the office, letting out a huff as he sat down. You could feel the rage emitting him, tension filling the room, as he burned holes looking at you.

"I'll get straight to the point" Your principal started.

"Please" Jay growled, struggling to contain himself. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, when he got the call saying that you had cheated on your midterms.

You and Will were alike,at least he thought so, both good at science and math but weak at geography and history. Nonetheless you continued to secure good grades for the most part.

"Y/n here, was caught cheating from a classmates answer sheet. Our teacher caught her red handed. I truly did not expect this from you. These midterms cost thirty percent of your grade..... "

Pretty soon his voice was muffled like he was getting farther and farther away from you. His figure swayed in front of you as you squinted your eyes to keep him in the center of your vision.

" You are suspended, Mrs halstead"

Your eyes widened , your body choosing the perfect time to bring out what little beer you had taken when you heard those words, letting the alcohol mix with the adrenaline.

"WHAT??!! " Damn, alcohol really bought out your courage as Jay stared at you in shock at your audacity.

"Y/n, your lucky I'm letting you retake the exam. That's only because you've had a clean record so far. I strongly suggest you start preparing early Ms. halstead" your principal said in a firm but monotone voice that left you speechless.

Jay held a strong grip on your upper arm as he led you out to the school hall. "What the hell was that Y/N? Are you happy now? God.... I can't believe you cheated!" he sneered, "EYES UP HERE Y/N!! "

Oh god. Every now and then, the ground would sway beneath you, tiles shifting in your vision. But you counted your steps, carefully putting one foot in front of the other, not wanting Jay to find out what else you had done........ until now.

You tilted your head, only to be met with your brother's piercing stare but little did he know, now it made it infinitely harder to concentrate on your walking.

"I'm sorry" you sighed, locking eyes with Jay, silently praying that he would let this go. It was only one time anyway. It wasn't a big deal.

But he let out a hollow laugh, "Thirty percent, Y/N, THIRTY PERCENT. You're going to have to do better than a half-ass apology. What exactly are you sorry for? Huh? For cheating? *Or being caught?*"

***

You rested your head on the seat as Jay entered the truck, flinching, when he slammed the door shut. Your pounding headache was getting worse by the minute, as your ears started to ring.

You blinked a few times squinting to focus on the road ahead of you but the fast-moving cars and the loud horns made you feel like your head was going to explode.

"Y/n," he addressed you, much calmer now.

You forced yourself to turn to your brother, who wore a confused expression.

But the moment he saw your deshelfed hair and your cracked lips, a wave of worry crashed over him. What the hell?

The truck came to a stop at a red light and Jay immediately scanned you over "Y/n?" he grabbed your chin, his jaw dropping, as he came face to face with reality.

"Are you drunk!!?" he barked , steam basically pouring out of his ears.

But your pleading eyes and empty silence gave him the answer he needed. "Are you kidding me??" he snarled as he slammed the steering wheel.

Oh God no. A blinding pain ripped through your head when Jay's palms made contact with the hard plastic. You winched turning your head away from your furious brother, letting out a whimper.

Jay's eyes widened at the sound, his heart breaking, realizing the pain you were in.

If he was going to be mad at you or at least punish you, you needed to be sober.

He stepped on the pedal as the light turned green taking a few breaths, trying to calm himself down.

With the vice lords reclaiming their territory and selling uncut fentanyl, bodies were dropping all over the city most of them being kids.

Kids..... your age.

Every kid at the morgue, just reminded him of you. He saw parents sobbing, begging for their kids to come back but Jay new better. They were never going to come home. Ever.

So he made it a priority to catch these ruthless creatures. He made it a priority over his sleep, over nine hours shifts and unknown to him, over spending time with you.

"Hey , hey" he whispered, not wanting to hurt you again, "We'll talk about this later ok? for now...... just..... it's ok..... I've got you" here reached out his hand, the other still on the steering wheel, to slowly rub your back as you tried to breath through the pain.

" I got you"

***

Jay wrapped a hand around you allowing you to hold onto him for support.

Silently, he deposited you on the couch, laying you down. He knew that he wasn't in any state to talk to you. He needed to clear his mind from his racing thoughts and rueful images of dying teenagers.

His phone rang, indicating that the district was awaiting him. "Here" he reluctantly shook your shoulders "Y/n, I need to go ok? Will will be here soon"

***

Almost half an hour had passed and you were waiting for Will to get out of the shower. You'd heard Jay explain everything to him over the phone.

You thought about how disappointed he would be.

Will —being the nerd he was— always helped you with your projects and gave you pop quizzes during breakfast, before your exams. He taught you how to organize flashcards just like he did in med school.

Even through your blurry thoughts, the image of Will's betrayed face and embarrassed eyes, knowing you cheated, lingered on your mind.

Your body was all over the place. Tiny noises echoing through your ear. Your muscles simultaneously aching and loose.

You were shivering as you tried to curl up into a ball. Your body trying to hold what little heat it had within itself.

But nothing stopped your tears.

You felt water drops make their way down your cheeks forming small splotches of water on the cushion you laid your head on.

And you didn't bother to wipe them away.

Will more or less was in the same state you were in. There was a multi-vehicle accident on the highway and victims were piling in the ED. He was running from one treatment room to the other, waiting to get back home and crash.

Will walked over to you with a huge glass of water and an advil, gently  nudging you to sit up.

Your head still pounded, your eyes zoning in and out of the figure in front of you "Y/n, here drink the whole glass and take this" Will soothed, placing the glass and the pill in your hand "I—I'm sorry" You whispered, distracting yourself from Will's eyes.

Will knew he should be angry. Just like Jay was but he couldn't bring himself to blaming you, not until he had the full story anyway.

You looked so petite on the enormous couch, your legs folded on top of each other, arms shaking as you drowned the glass of water along with the Advil.

Your red puffy eyes and tear strained cheeks,were a contrast from your usual self. or he thinks. He's been pretty busy lately, so he's not too sure. " We'll talk about it later. I'm not angry. I promise"

He assured and was about to head to bed himself when you grabbed his wrist.

If he wasn't angry at you then maybe— just maybe—he would help you.

"Stay" You pleaded , the word falling from your lips just as easily as it had, many, many times before.

And just like before, you were met with Will's soft brown eyes filled with sympathy, ready to help. Ready—to be by your side.

He's slowly nodded climbing onto the couch, next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you nestled into him, laying your head on his chest.

You found some comfort as he embraced you, talking you under his arm and encompassing you in his warmth.

Holding on to him, you hoped that he would take your pain away, just like he did when you were little.

***

Will woke up to an uncomfortable feeling of something —or someone—   tugging at his shirt.

He slowly opened his eyes allowing them to adjust to the light as he felt another a tug at his side. He looked over to you, but your eyes were shut, brimming with tears, your arm laid across his chest.

You were holding on to Will , using him as a lifeline, grounding you from the pain.

You felt a hand squeezing your own, stopping you from gripping the fabric "Y/n?" You opened your eyes to look up at will who had tears of his own, staring at the state you were in "it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here"

He encircles you, tighter than before, whispering soothing assurances into your hair.

***

With Will's help, the pain slowly subsides, allowing you access to your thoughts again.

You step out of the shower, into the living room and your eyes widen seeing Jay and Will sitting at the kitchen counter.

You didn't even hear Jay come in, but right now taking in his hardened glare, you didn't dare ask.

You knew what was coming and you didn't fight. You couldn't.

"So apparently we're cheating on our midterms now, huh?" Jay's calm voice made shivers run down your spine, starting to take rapid breaths.

"And apparently, someone thinks it's ok to steal alcohol from my stash" He gritted, never breaking I contact with you. "Do you think that's how the world works Y/n? DO YOU? BECAUSE LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU'RE STILL A FUCKING TEENAGER!!" He spat, his thoughts fuming towards your trembling body.

It was every dieing body flashing before his eyes, as the past months' agony slipped off his tongue.

"Jay" Will's voice was stern, giving a knowing look towards his younger brother and didn't bother to give Jay time to argue with him.

"Y/n, we need to know what's going on"

"With school, with tests with....... everything" he stated giving you a solemn look meaning every word he said, promising himself that he would do whatever it takes to figure out what had been going on.

You sucked in a breath weighing all your options. You didn't want them to think that you needed a babysitter or  that you couldn't take care of yourself.

You knew that they had their own problems to worry about but you couldn't take it anymore.

You hated it.

The feeling of your lungs collapsing, struggling to find air for your body, your stress skyrocketing anytime you sat down to study, never getting any thing done.

All day long you would constantly tell yourself to do your work. Every spare second is spent in making a list of things you want to do but when it was time to actually do those things, your mind wandered and emptied.

You took another deep breath, looking up from your feet, your eyes meeting your brothers.

You spilled the past months events from how alone you were all the time and not being able to concentrate to how you ended up drunk at school and cheating on your midterms.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as you your hands trembled. You stood crying in the middle of the room until you felt a pair of arms around you.

Will placed his hand at the nape of your neck as he stroked your back with the other "Breathe Y/n, just Breathe" He slowly pulled away leading you to the couch.

God, how he wished he could turn back time. Then he'd been more vigilant to notice the changes that had come over you.

You felt the couch dip on both sides but you intently studied your fingers, fumbling with the hem of your shirt and wiped the tears off your face. They were mad. No, they were furious. You knew it.

But for some reason, they weren't showing it. Maybe they were waiting-

"We're not mad"

You without your head around to look at Jay, furrowing your eyebrows in disbelief. Jay? Not mad? HA.

"but I am disappointed though, but that's only because you didn't tell us......

but stealing alcohol was bad too" he added, earning him a glare from Will.

"Y/n, what Jay means is— we could've helped with school . Homework . Tests . Anything, you name it. We will help" he assured, "But how do we know you need help, if you don't tell us?"

You sighed, taking in the weird turn of events that had happened before you. You had wasted all this time, trying to figure out all your problems out, when the answer was right in front of you.

A mountain of guilt now sat on Jay's shoulders, weighing down on him, pushing him deeper into a wormhole of 'if's'.

Maybe if he'd just been a little more careful, this wouldn't have happened.

Maybe if he'd stop and listen to you once in a while, this wouldn't have happened.

While trying to save kids out on the street, he forgot to care for the kid at home. You were his sister, and yet, here you are in front of him, barely keeping yourself together.

But that would change. Right here. *Right now.*

"Y/n," Jay started "If you would have told us how alone and stressed you were feeling.....I would've taken some time off... Maybe we'd watch a movie or something. All you had to do was ask...... And we'll get you the help you need, y/n. You good with that?" he questioned, his anger and frustration dissipating.

You saw your brother, the workaholic detective, wanting to put his job aside, for you .

You were more important to him, than his job—You realized.

" Yea... Yeah, I am"

Will stood up and got another advil with another glass of water. "and maybe you wouldn't end up drunk and cheating on your test" he smirked, crouching in front of you.

"God, I didn't think it would hurt this bad. I am never drinking again!" you smiled , as you drowned the pill.

"See now that's what I like to hear!!" Jay exclaimed, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you into his chest. You squirmed, trying to get out of his grip, laughing, when you were joined by Will.

You know what? Maybe, things are going to be okay? Ya know?

__________________________

Read more of my fics here!!

Tagging : @girlandthemoon @herecomesthewriterwitch @megaliciab @meyocoko @alkadri-layal

[one-sad-human]

•Worth It• Duff Mckagan

Pairing: Velvet Revolver era! Duff Mckagan x Younger! Reader

Requested? Nope!

Theme: Little bit of everything/???

Warnings: Language, panic attacks, anxiety references, drug references

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Fic 2 of 2! This is the longest fic yet! Took a different approach to writing this one, hopefully it payed off. Let me know if you guys liked it or if I wasted my time with this one lol.

     You had met Duff in a coffee shop in LA. It was crowded and you were lucky enough to snag a chair before the lunch rush. Duff wasn't, and asked you if he could sit at your table.

     You grew up with Guns n Roses, bought his solo album the day it came out when you were just 15, and now listened to Velvet Revolver faithfully. To see your idol, your celebrity crush stand right in front of you holding a cup of coffee and a scone sent you for a loop.

     "Of course," you had said, starry eyed. You were only hoping he was as kind as the interviews made him out to be. Maybe have a conversation with you and be polite for a while before leaving and never seeing each you again. That would be good enough.

     It didn't end with a coffee, it had just begun. He asked for your number, and you stared at him for a moment thinking you had imagined it. That was until he tilted his head a little and looked at you with a nervous expression. He backtracked and you immediately stopped him.

     "No! I mean— yes! Yes, you can absolutely have my number." You scrambled for a pen and paper and ended up scratching your number on a receipt from the record store. You shook so hard you could barely get the numbers down.

     Out of all the record store receipts you've stuffed into your bag, the one you gave Duff Mckagan had to be the one for when you bought Velvet Revolver's 'Contraband.' He didn't say anything, just smiled and promised to call.

     You honestly didn't think he would've. You played it off as just him trying to be nice. It didn't stop you from answering every call you got for the next three days, however, even if you recognized the number as the tax collector you'd normally never answer.

     But then he called.

     "I tried calling sooner, but I kept calling the wrong number. You don't have the most eligible handwriting," he had told you. You laughed but really, you were in shock.

     You set up a date at the fancy restaurant downtown that always intimidated you. You didn't say anything though, even though you knew you wouldn't want any of the overpriced food and you'd end up eating something you couldn't pronounce and was two portions too small. Maybe even hit up a fast food joint afterwards.

     When the day finally came, you couldn't even figure out what to wear. You couldn't tell if you looked underdressed or like you were trying too hard. Did the clothes even fit the right way? What would Duff think? Would he even care?

     All questions were answered when you left your house. Duff was leaning against his slick car parked in your driveway, a button up that was barely buttoned and dress pants with boots. He stared at you and you wanted a hole in the ground to shallow you up until he smiles.

     "You look gorgeous," he said. You blushed and grinned, thanking him before saying that he looked great too. He drove you to the restaurant and on the way, you talked about music.

     You shared some of your favorites, he adored how well rounded you were. You liked pretty much everything from punk rock to the mellowest of mellow. Duff mentioned some of his favorites, some you made sure to remember the names of so you can check them out.

     When the ride was over and you finally got to the restaurant, your previous fears came back. Duff reassured you looked better than 90% of the people there and you knew it wasn't true but it made you feel better anyway.

     Your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw the prices of the food. You knew it'd be pricey but you thought there'd be more options that stayed within two digit numbers.

     Duff saw your panicked expression and said not to worry, he'd pay. It didn't settle your nerves enough and when the waiter came, you ordered the cheapest and simplest thing you could find.

     "Chicken noodle soup?" He teased. You shyly looked down and shrugged. "This isn't your scene, is it?"

     "Not exactly, no."

     "Want me to be completely honest with you?" You nodded. "It's not mine either."

     That's all it took for you and Duff to scramble sheepishly out of the restaurant. You both shared a laugh in the car and went to Burger King. It was much more your speed and, as you'd find out that night, Duff's too. You suppose all the money he's had since such a young age didn't completely change his ways. He was like a kid trapped in a 40 year old man's body.

     You'd thought at first the age gap would feel strange, after all, you were 15 years younger than him. But after that night, it was barely noticeable. Funny looks from strangers every once in a while was nothing.

     By the second date, Duff was already aware fancy spots weren't your forte. He told you it was a surprise and to wear something cozy, as LA nights got chilly.

     He packed a picnic basket and drove you out to the most beautiful flower field you had ever seen at sunset. It was secluded and high up, giving a perfect view of the city skyline. After gawking and taking in the sights for a few moments, you regained your ability to speak.

     "It's gorgeous. Pretty far from the city, did you take me here to kill me?" You joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes. His lighthearted laugh sent sparks straight to your heart, and you decided that it was your favorite sound.

     You unfolded the blanket Duff brought and you both sat down. You ate the sandwiches and sliced fruit Duff packed and talked. You talked about everything, from your family to fears and insecurities.

You told him how you suffer from nightmares. Flashbacks from your broken childhood coming back to bite you in your sleep. Duff shared how he's suffered from panic attacks since he was a teenager. You felt you knew each other for years.

Neither of you felt weird for sharing and neither made the other insecure. You were completely open and honest with each other. It was strange, you've never connected to quickly and effortlessly with someone before. Sure, you've had men in your life, but never had you clicked with someone so fast, never had you fit with someone so perfectly.

Hours passed and it felt like minutes. Only did you realize how late and how exhausted you were when you saw most of the city buildings light have gone off for the night. The city that didn't sleep was dark.

"I should get you home," Duff said to you.

"Will you stay the night?" You felt a little silly for asking. Were things going too fast? Would he even want to stay over?

He agreed, and that's how your first night together went. You both stayed up even later and had more lighthearted conversations, unlike the ones that partook at the field. Like how one of Duff's first jobs was at a bakery and could bake a mean cake and how you can't cook to save your life.

You ended up waking up without remembering falling asleep. You're head was placed comfortably on Duff's lap while his head was lolled back against the couch cushion. He looked so serene and peaceful you couldn't help but smile at the sight.

You made toast and somewhat successfully cooked some eggs and bacon. It might have been the first breakfast in years that didn't end with the smoke alarm going off.

Duff eventually wandered into the kitchen and you both ate. By the time he left, another date was already set up. He was like a drug an you were already hooked.

Months later and the addiction still wasn't kicked. You didn't want to, and Duff didn't seem to want you to quit either. You both soaked each other up like the sun on a warm day.

You had almost weekly dates and you stayed over each other's houses almost every other day. Duff did have his kids some days, though, so some days dates were cut short or Grace and Mae slept over his house and you wouldn't see each other.

You were always understanding, his kids came first and you'd never blame or get upset about it. It's something Duff admires about you, your never ending understanding and empathy for him.

One of those days where Duff stayed over at your house started normal. He cooked dinner and you washed the dishes, and then you put on an old Ramones concert you had on DVD.

You were laying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair when all of a sudden, he tensed up. He quickly stood and excused himself to the bathroom. You frowned but before you could think much of it, you heard a loud bang and something clatter to the ground.

You jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. You swung open the door because you were perfectly aware the lock hasn't worked since you moved in.

Duff was sitting on the floor, a pill bottle laying on its side not far from him. You quickly spot the name of the medication and identified it as your anti-anxiety pills. You shoved them aside and sat next to Duff.

He was sweating bullets and his skin felt cold and clammy, his breaths were labored and heartbeat was loud and pounding erratically. You coax him gently to take deep breaths, holding onto his hand tightly and talking quietly.

"I'm sorry, they come on randomly sometimes," he apologized after he'd called down, but you quickly shushed him. You reminded him of just how many nightmares he'd comforted you for and he stops feeling so bad about it.

     It was always a true partnership with Duff. Never had you felt you gave or took too much, it was always equal. Always a two way street, with everything.

That wasn't the last panic attack you had to help him come down from. Later down the line you've gotten better at calming him down and learning his triggers, even though sometimes they really do come on suddenly without reason.

A year into the relationship was when you met Grace and Mae. They were young and didn't completely understand why their parents weren't together anymore, so it took them a while to warm up to you. Luckily, they eventually came around.

Duff and Susan met up regularly to discuss their kids and co-parent properly. And while you had all the reason to be jealous of your boyfriend with his ex wife, you never did. You had complete confidence in him, he was honest and loyal and you doubted he'd ever hurt you purposely.

That's why it destroyed you when he left you. Tears were shed from both parties as he gave his reasons for breaking up with you. His insecurities he tried his best to bury had come to light and nothing could change his mind.

You thought you were completely honest with each other, but you suppose his doubt in his relationship with you was the one thing he kept secret. He had somehow convinced himself you'd be better without him, between the constant touring and the baggage that came with him and his kids, he finally buckled under the weight and stress.

You had tried to convince him that he was worth it, but if Duff is one thing it's stubborn. The best relationship you'd ever have and the best year of your life went down the drain within the matter of one conversation.

You were down in the dumps for days. You barely left your bed and didn't ever leave your house. You were in a depression and couldn't get out. A few of your friends eventually found out what had happened and broke into your house and shoved you into the shower before taking you to your favorite Chinese restaurant.

You felt like a disaster. Your hair was ratted despite the shower and you refused to put real clothes on, instead wearing sweatpants and a shirt Duff had left behind. You were a mess.

The hole in the wall restaurant was never busy but always had the best food. You were almost happy your friends dragged you out of your home until you saw Duff sitting at a table, eating egg rolls and lo mein.

You've came here together all the time. The high sodium in the food always made him sick to his stomach and you'd always end up giving him nausea remedies and tea. He never changed his order though.

You locked eyes with him for a while. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He looked as terrible as you felt. You weren't sure if you were spitefully glad he felt awful or if the despair on his face just made your heart break further.

When you couldn't take his intense jade stare anymore, you looked up at the menu. The next time you looked back he was gone, you weren't sure if he was really there at all or if you were finally losing your mind for good.

     Another week crawled by. You got better enough to continue working. You had to pick up extra time for calling out for a few days after the breakup. You wouldn't say things were going well, but you weren't crying in bed every day all day anymore.

     You had constant dreams about him. Some were nice, ones where he didn't leave and you were together, holding each other tightly. Most were nightmares, flashbacks of when he left. You didn't have him to comfort you anymore when you woke up soaked in sweat and tears, and that might've been the worst.

     Another week went by, and you were starting to get back into the swing of things. You still thought about him, even silly little things reminded you of him. Like when you would catch a sniff of freshly baked sweets like he'd bake you or certain songs playing on the radio. It also didn't help that you ran into people wearing Guns n Roses shirts on the daily.

     You also refused to get rid of anything he'd left behind. Tee shirts, guitar picks he left from when he'd play for you, or CDs from bands he introduced you to. Reminders of what you lost were scattered around your home but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything about it.

     Suddenly, it's been a month. You weren't over him, but you had a feeling you'd never be completely. He was something special, you can't forget things as special as your relationship with Duff.

     His items still weren't thrown out or returned, instead all packed in a box sitting in your closet. But you'd be lying if you said you would never reach into the box to grab a shirt to sleep in or a CD to listen to when you needed a reminder of the good times. You were making progress though.

     You decided to leave your house one evening. You were feeling especially terrible and wanted to take a walk to clear your head. You went to the coffee shop you had first met Duff in. Maybe it was a mistake to go and get a flood of memories but you couldn't stop yourself.

     You sat in a seat near the window and people watched, taking occasional sips of your drink. It was quiet except from the talk of the workers and the hum of the overhead speakers.

     There was a sudden squeak of a chair of hardwood floors and it broke you out of your daze. You snapped your gaze up to meet the very familiar green eyes you've been trying to forget.

     "Can we talk?" He asked, and you couldn't say 'no.' Duff sat across from you and started off by apologizing.

     He said he wanted to talk to you sooner, but was too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You rolled your eyes at that, if only he knew just how much you missed him.

     He then started from the beginning and explained why he made the decision to leave you. As it turns out, it was mostly because of stress. His bandmate Scott was having problems with drugs and the flashbacks from his GnR days frightened him. He was worried he would end up relapsing and he didn't want to drag you down with him.

     Combine that with all the troubles that came with dating a single father, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt too guilty.

     It all seemed like ridiculous reasons to you. Even if he had made the mistake of falling off the wagon, you still would've stuck with him. And you didn't mind his kids at all, after nearly a year of knowing them and you were very close to them.

     "I love you, Duff. I wouldn't have left you over that, I'd help you through anything. And I love Grace and Mae, too," you told him.

     "I know, but I didn't want you to have to deal with all that baggage." You frowned at that. You reached your hand across the table and grasped his, squeezing it tenderly.

     "You're worth it."

     After that day, you and Duff started seeing each other again. It wasn't the same as before, but maybe even better.

     You were more transparent with each other. If one had a worry or problem, you'd go to the other. You talked everything through with him and he did the same. Even if it seemed insignificant, talking everything through never failed to make it better.

    You were happier and healthier than ever before. Sure, there were a roadblock or two, but they only made the relationship even stronger, and you wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

[goofyhoffy]

known stranger | jjk | Chapter 1

people say your bestfriend's rival is your rival too. But what if you fall for your rival.

✿ Pairing :  Jungkook × female reader, Jimin × best friend reader

✿ Genre : enemies to lovers, stranger au, personal assistant au, manager au, mutual au.

✿ Summary : always seen him around your mutual friend, but one day you  noticed the known face. Everyone find you so interesting that they always want to be your best friend, yet you never find anyone close to your heart. Jimin your so called bestfriend gone through the worse break up but instead of caring him you fall for his rival. You never thought of liking someone who would beat your bestfriend, but you fall for Jungkook there. Unfortunately, Jungkook became your personal assistant who hated you the most for supporting Jimin. What if Jungkook also wants you back?

✿ Warnings : fluff, strong languages, reader is a psychopath, angst, anxiety, anxiousness, double faced, bullying, overthinking, mean people, Jimin here is the meanest, ignoring, explicit, smut, fake friends, manager and personal assistant au, mutual friend, swearing, filled with flirty lines, rival, lovey dovey, break up, makeout, humiliation, oneshot, texting.

✿ Series : a drabble fanfiction of 3 sets

✿ Word Limit : 5 k+

MASTERLIST

✿ Author's note : wishing you many happy returns of the day, kook. I thought of making this fanfic a oneshot but my mind never cooperates with me. So, here I'm again with my drabble series. Read it and let me know if you liked it. To get add on taglist, send an ask.

(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)(๑˙❥˙๑)

"See, I changed your contact name to 'Bestie' , it's looking perfect dude." Jimin rejoiced. You just gladly looked at his phone screen with your two owl eyes. "Now, you also need to change my contact name in your phone to 'bestie'. Do it fast, I'm waiting, piggy."  Jimin said happily.

"Ya, I'll do it later some day." You weirdly smiled at him. It's always been like that. Jimin being too clingy, always said that you're his best friend, his own girl, whom he adores the most. But somewhere you never felt that. You never denied him of being your friend or you can say your best friend but you always hesitated to accept. You never called him sweetly, never even seen him like your bestfriend but something less than that. A vibe just didn't match with him. Yet, he was always the one who texted you, asked for hanging out, call you by pet names, always loved you, always treat you like his bestfriend. You never showed this emotions neither you did denied all that .

"You always do this things. You know, you're always first for me. First priority,____(y/n)." Jimin sighed.

"Ya, always first. But-" you got intreuppted by him.

This Areum gonna kill me one day. This girl already broke up with me but still cling to me." Jimin said while checking his phone. Few weeks ago, Jimin had a worst broke up. More likely, a betrayal kinda thing happened with him. Before that he was so happy, bright and always busy with his girlfriend. And never ever asked you how were you back then. There you got it, how really a toxic person he was. That's why, you never wanted to call him your special person. Cause after every break up he only comes to you. And during his relationship phase he never even asked you nor did he talk to you. A complete stranger basically.

" Why don't you just ignore her. Block her if she's distrubing you so much." You said.

"I did, but still. Well, she's only for fun. She also have fun making out with me and I do the same. So no problem." Jimin chuckled.

"Also fun when she calls his boyfriend and his friends to beat you up as you're assign of molesting her." You rolled your eyes.

"____, you clearly know that. You have seen that. She was the first who directed me to kiss her , touch her and everything. But later that bitch just called her bodyguard boyfriend to help her out. It's only a strategy for breaking up with me." Jimin sighed.

"Then, why did you do the same thing again Jimin? Just leave her. It really feel bad to see your friend suffering." You asked.

"Bestfriend not friend." Jimin corrected.

"Whatever. Do you want to have red stamps on your ass again?" You sighed.

"No, but I can't. That time I was so mad at Areum so I didn't do any harm to her boyfriend. Unless I would have kicked him in nuts." Jimin giggled.

"Everything is not a joke, Jimin." You rolled your eyes as you left for your daily shift.

◉

You got freahen up after a hectic day at your work. After taking good hot shower, you sat on your bed and checked your phone. You glared at how many messages Jimin had sent you to ask about your day, your mood, what's you're doing and stuff like that. You completely ignored it. Sometimes you feel that, the boy put so much of his time on you just to get some friendly love from you. But at the second thought, you imagine all those moments when he ignored you, your texts, your calls for hours and days just because he don't need you.

At last you saw the flooded messages at the new group chat you got added. You don't have enough patience to read what the group chat was about and who were the members. So, you directly called the one who added you.

It's Bora, who added you. Your long lost another best friend. Who also treated you like her best friend but you never like being her friend. But you felt so glad that someone still remembered you. You called her.

"Hello!"  You nervously chuckled.

"____, I missed you bub. Don't you missed me sweets?" Bora excitedly asked.

"Sure. I-I mean I did. A lot. Bora." You weirdly smiled

"Then you're definitely coming to the Mall? Don't you?" Bora asked.

"Mall? About what?" You asked.

"I added you to the gc dude. Checked that. Everyone is coming. Please you also need to come. I have many things to talk about you." Bora pleased.

"I saw that, that's why I called you. Cool idea! Definitely gonna come Bora." You said.

"Call me sunshine. Okayy, tomorrow at eight at evening near the south mall. Don't be late. We all will be there." Bora said happily.

"Sure sunshine. I'll be there promise. Good night. Meet you tomorrow." You said cheerfully.

You're kinda excited to meet your old goldies. Not to lie but you missed them so much. All the shit they talk, crazyness they do and everything about them is all you need right now. You missed Bora in real. Like, in days she was so toxic that gives you anxiety unnecessarily but still she missed you. You always love the person who mentioned you anywhere unless or untill it's Jimin.

At the Mall, you're already late to go their after your hectic schedule. But still you're not late as it's only nine and they asked you to be their till eight. But you always a late lateefa. More like a queen for whom everyone waits. You saw Bora, and ran cheerfully towards her.

"Sunshine!" You sang.

"_____, again late." Bora exclaimed arrogantly.

"Really sorry Bora. Tell me if I missed anything." You asked.

"Everything. Legit everything." Bora said.

"Why? I'll cry dude." You sighed

"Everyone already gone for movie. I'm just here to wait for you girl. Thank me." Bora rolled her eyes

"Then let's go for the movie. We can join the movie." You cheerfully smiled.

"Wait. I didn't call you here to hangout with you. I need to tell you many things." Bora said.

"Then whom we're waiting for. Let's have some goosip coffee, Sunshine." You chuckled as both of you just walked upto the near counter coffee shop. There you sat the same place you used to and have endless laughter.

She explained how she's going to marry the man of her dreams. Tells you everything about what happening in every one's life and their love life. During your old days to, Bora was the one who tells you all the goosip and love life of others. She was so much interested in other life than her own. Unfortunately you were always the one who used to hear all those boring goosips. You were never interested, neither you are now interested.

As the weather is getting happier the dark clouds surrounds the mood. You saw Areum and his Boyfriend Seokjin was also there at the mall. They're strolling down the Mall with grabbing eachother hands. They looked so happy. But you felt so bad for his boyfriend Seokjin. He never knew the actual face of Areum. You have seen after Jimin's break up also, she used to make out with him. Jimin share each and everything about that. How she bite his upper lip so much and how she was acting that everything was good and still were together. Jimin was an actual fool and you knew that. He didn't understand that, the thing which he was telling fun and gain is actually the entire opposite. Areum was all having fun with her new rich boyfriend and having a good physical life with Jimin. But here Jimin was always so sad because of her. She's an actual bitch  and act like an innocent fool.

"Bora, this is the girl I'm talking about." You pointed at Areum indirectly.

"She was Jimin's girlfriend? Ew. I always know he had a bad taste." Bora said.

"See the boy beside her, he's her new boyfriend. A total bitch." You fumed. As both of you sitting at the corner of the coffee cafe looking at them and goosiping.

"That's Seokjin. Lord." Bora yelled.

"You know him?" You asked.

"For sure. He's the friend of Jungkook. That boy is way too flirt." She giggled.

"Jungkook? You mean that boy?" You asked.

"Ya, remember during the high school party I invited him. You met him quite a few time, ____" she said.

"Wait. There's a  Long story about him also dude. Let me finish." You chuckled as you sipped your cold brew.

You explained her how during the break up of Jimin and Areum, she called her new boyfriend. With his new boyfriend there was Jungkook there to threaten Jimin. You had witnessed all the threatening Jungkook given. The way he said 'back off your little ass' , 'fuck another girlfriend, leave Areum' , 'seokjin is like my brother, if anything happens to her girl I won't leave you". All his aggression, confidence in his eyes and a way of firece. Not to mention you liked it.

All this years, you have seen Jungkook. You have seen him in the partis, malls and streets. But after he threatened your bestfriend, you kind of liked him. After that you noticed him in real. How he was flexing his arms while talking to Jimin, how he was rolling his eyes, how he was just standing there looking immensely handsome. With the white t-shirt on and cargo pants, he was looking handsome. That's the first time you actually noticed him.

You really felt bad for Jimin that all the boys get over him. But a certain part of your giggling to recalling all the moment of Jungkook. You never talked to him, neither he took an interest on you. You both were just a known stranger to each other. Known by the faces and stranger by the identity.

At the end of the meet and greet day, you were on your way to outside. Bora was with you. You both were laughing. You met with other old friends too after so long. You took some good memories photo and you felt so good at the end.

"Bora! Hey!" Someone shouted at Bora who was standing beside you at the exit of the mall. She looked back and realized it's Jungkook.

"Hey, Kook. You're here." She giggled.

"Come here with Seokjin. You too here?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, with _____(y/n). Meet my bestu." She pointed at you.

"I see." Jungkook just rolled his eyes on you. It's completely like ignoring you. You also completely just looked at your phone to cut off eye contact. It was like ignoring both of their conversation.

You know why he always looked so uninterested on you. After Jimin's broke up, you took Jimin's side and then all those so called cold war started. He absolutely hate you because you opposed him and supported your friend. But you know you were correct. But that never mean that you could not have a crush on him.

His dark hairs falling at his eyes with the little puppy eyes look immensely fierce. His everything is quite recognisable and you remembered each of the detailed about him. But always a guilt that you never spoke to him. You wanted to but his expression kills your inner whore.

"Then spend time with Seokjin. Meet me soon." Bora said.

"Cool. You also spend time with your bestu. I'll meet you soon." Jungkook greeted as he left both of you alone. He gave you a scary look before leaving which you clearly noticed but rolled your eyes.

◉

You entered at your work place. That day you had a lot of work to do. So, you piled up all the papers needed for the work. Basically, you were working as a manager in a hotel as you want to have enough money to publish your book. You work daily so hard to accomplish all your dreams to be a writer. Being a manager you saved enough for your book and have enough to spend the rest on your own. Your work was always way to comfortable for you.

"Good Morning,____." Your boss entered at your work place and greeted you.

"Good morning boss. Do you need something?" You asked.

"I want you to meet someone. Kook! Come in." He shouted to call someone. As he called, a guy entered in the room and it's none other than Jungkook itself.

"Meet Jungkook. From now onwards he will assist you. Your personal assistant." He said.

"Dad! I'm not anyone's assistant here. I'm not doing this thing." Jungkook barked angrily.

"You have to think about that before the car accident. To be more sincere, you have to work as an assistant until or unless I'm sure you can do something on your own." Your boss hissed. You never knew that Jung kook was son of your boss. Your boss looked quite young for a big boy like Jungkook. And never did Jungkook had been in this five star hotel you worked at. You were quite shocked while giggling inside that he had to assist you. That's mean proper supremacy.

"But dad -" Jungkook been cut off by him.

"Meet _____(y/n). I really want you to work with her. She's sincere as well as profound at her work. I think you will be a good Manager -  assistant thing." You boss said. As he mentioned your name , Jungkook looks at you. He was as stun as you.

"Thanks Boss. Hello Mr. Jeon Jungkook." You greeted and try to be as professional as you want to stop him from invading in your personal life.

"Now, you both can start your work. I'm leaving." You boss said as he left your work place leaving you and Jungkook alone.

For few minutes it was like a dread silence. Only your computer making the typing sound. You don't know how to start a conversation. The only thing you know was that you should be professional with him. No perosnal talks. Only see him as your assistant or more like your boss's son. Jungkook was there right behind you still astonished and don't know from where to start. He was already feeling so sad about being someone's assistant but it made worse after realising it's you. You were his manager. Internally he hated you, but you liked him. You know he hated so much. But neither you had talked to him nor he talked to you. It was an internal war of friendship. Because both of your mutual friends were rivals. So, you both also knew you have to be each other rivals too.

"You work here?" Jungkook smirked.

"Yes, Mr. Jeon. As you're my assistant now, I'll teach what you have to do." You weirdly smiled.

"I'm not your assistant first of all. It's for my dad sake. Or I would never have to work here." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"It's okay Mr. Jeon. But I have to abide by my boss rules." You said.

"What's with Mr. Jeon? Don't you know me?" Jungkook asked smirkingly.

"Do I?" You asked.

"Dude, you're Bora's as well as Jimin's bestfriend. I clearly have seen you hundreds of times. Don't deny that you never have seen me." Jungkook smirked.

"Sorry, Mr. Jeon. But I'm at my work place. No perosnal talks please." You hesitantly said. You felt like a large piece of stone got off from your heart. You never want to talk to him about your personal matters or it would go real wrong.

"Stop calling me Mr. Jeon for God sake. Call me Jungkook." He ranted.

"Okay, Mr. Jungkook. Anything you like." You said.

" God! You're so annoying dude. No more formalities please. Jungkook only." Jungkook yelled at you. You know how to annoy people. You were just testing his patience and as expected he was way more patienceless than you have thought.

"Okay Jungkook. Call me _____(y/n) then." You smirked.

"Whatever." Jungkook rolled his eyes as he sits at the table.

He was on his phone through out you were working. You thought of giving him some work. But the way he was sitting, getting annoyed by you and those priceless smiles across his face whenever he was playing in his phone. You can't deny but you want to admire him all day long. You and Jungkook was all alone in the room. No one was there. You were working on your files and peeping at him when he was not looking at you.

"Dude, give me some work or something. I'm getting bored." Jungkook sighed as he put his phone aside and looked at you.

"I thought you don't want to work! But sure, being your manager I'll give some work to do." You proudly said.

"Only for my dad. And also I'm bored so thought doing something with you." Jungkook said.

"Something with me?" You asked. Your sarcasm is way too knowledgeable to your friends. How you turn simple things to some random jokes.

"I-I mean some work with you." Jungkook stumbled.

You told him everything he have to do. All the rules and regulations he had to follow. But at all your words he just rolled his eyes. That kind of annoying to you and you want to beat the shit out of him. But you can be a bigger annoyance than him. And you decide to be one. As Jungkook would never find you interesting or beautiful but you would force him to do so.

After the work, when you finished all your daily work and wrote down all the things you have to do tomorrow on your diary. You were ready to go to your home and work in your book and have some delicious coffee.

"Jungkook now you're good to go. See you tomorrow." You greeted him with a smile.

"So, now what are you gonna do?" Jungkook asked.

"We did all the work today so early. So, now you can go home and so do I." You said.

"Go home! Don't you have anywhere to go? Hangout or parties?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"I prefer home Jungkook. Meet you tomorrow." You said and you're on your way to exit.

"Wait ____. I'm trying to start a conversation. And you're only ignoring me." Jungkook yelled.

"I'm not ignoring. It's just I have pile of work to do." You laughed

"So, if your professional life ended can we talk about your personal life?" Jungkook asked jokingly.

"No. I don't want to." You said as you left the venue for your home. Jungkook was standing there all astonished that why you react like that. Thinks if he asked you something wrong.

As soon as you reached home, you got a text from an unknown number.

You're internally giggling and smirking that it was not you who texted first but it was him. You were happy that finally you got his number. But still you don't want to show that you liked him or anything. You just want to be professional with him so that he'll beg you to talk to him. You're way too annoying and you want to show that to him. You now just want to go tomorrow and annoy him more and more.

◉

"You did well today. You should be proud of yourself!" You smiled at him.

"I'm always proud of myself. Well, now home?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, let me just get my things and we'll be good to go." You said as you packed your bag up.

There Jungkook standing looking at you and your curves. He was really so rude to you at first but now he was cooperating with you. He does everything you told him and obediently he did that. As you were busy packing your things. He grabbed your diary across the table to hand over to you.

But before that he looked through the pages of the diary. First few pages, you marked all your day to day plan. Yet as he turn the pages over he looked the brief description you have pointed about everyone. This was something you do whenever you find someone interesting. You always note down their physical and behavioural characteristics about them. Because in a thought that maybe it'll help you in the near future on your books. You always make your books character with attachment of the real people existed. It's kind of a thing you really like.

"His deep ocean eyes when he looked at his rival. For me it his dark hairs which he glides with his veiny hands." Jungkook louldy sang. As you didn't noticed that Jungkook already have your diary and you're looking for it. But those lines he sang just clicked your mind.

"Jungkook! What the hell? Give me my diary." You shouted at him and punched his arms.

"Dude, I'm giving. Wait, let me read some more." Jungkook chuckled devilishly.

"Give me or I'll leave." You rolled your eyes. As he gave the diary back to you. You look at the pages he turn over and generously you looked at it. Properly examining if he fold any of the pages.

"It's okay. I didn't eat your pages." He rolled his eyes.

"I'll check that up." You arrogantly said as you pick your bag up and left for home.

The lines Jungkook read loudly was actually about him. You have written everything about him which you find interesting. You don't want to reveal your secret that you liked him. But you just wished that he didn't read his name there.

As soon as you went home, you got Jungkook's text. It's now kind of become a routine for you to get text from him at night. The whole day you just spend with him and at night we wished you 'sleep well' to end the day. You can't thank your boss enough for him. He's rude but kind. You're annoying but sweet.

"Today we don't have many work Jungkook. You can take a leave today. " You said as you pile up the papers.

"It's okay, I'll help you." Jungkook nonchantly said.

"Well, I also don't have work. So, I'm leaving already." You chuckled.

"It's only afternoon dude." Jungkook sighed

"So? You're so enthusiastic to work, huh?" You asked.

"For you." Jungkook sighed under his breath.

"Wait. You're free now? Any plans for evening?" He asked.

"No I guess. Will eat and watch something so far." You excitedly said.

"Let's hangout?" Jungkook smirked

"Huh? With whom?" You dumbly asked.

"With me of course dude. You and me. I never have talked to you in person. You always so professional." Jungkook giggled

"Umm... I might be - " you got intreuppted by him.

"Please don't say no. I also want to know why every one wants you be there bestfriend." Jungkook pleased. You really want to go at the first go but you want him to plead to you. And he did, and you accepted that.

"Okay then but home by night." You smiled. 

He accepted and asked you to wait for him till he take his car at the front. You waited for him at the main door. But you saw he forget his phone at the table. And repeatedly his phone just lights up as there were messages flooded on his phone. You decided to peep into it. Your inner detective rises as you checked his phone. You know it's wrong to check anyone's personal thing but he also did first with your diary. You looked at the top messages, it's filled with many flirty girls texts, some work related texts and lastly Seokjin text which popped up as soon as you open it.

Your inner self was burning right then. You thought Jungkook was not like that but you were wrong. He was like that, a total rude brat. But before you he acts like all sweet and flirty. Yet he was totally the different personality in real. He still thinks of you as a ugly and rival person. You can't process what did he mean by 'I'll fuck a pig than you'. You were keep repeating the lines in your head. The more you imagine it, the more your blood was boiling for him. He was traitor or a chameleon who only knows how to changes colour. You can guess how he thinks about you. He only thinks about you as a ugly, little and fatty bestfriend of his rival. You just want to see him and kick him so hard and want to know why he acts like he actually interested in you.

You were already been worse , you don't want anymore to get worst. You only need to go home and drift in your blanket and sleep till you forget that Jungkook is okay to fuck a pig but not you.

You left for your home without greeting Jungkook a bye. You don't want to hangout with him anymore. You now just want him to beg you to fuck him. You're a total psychopath for this. Your ego is far more bigger than anything in this world. Either he should beg you to fuck him or you never will see his face. You know your ways how to do that. As you think, Jungkook already called you to enquire why did you left after promising for hanging out. But you declined the call. He texted you over hundreds time to know what's wrong with you. But neither you did answer. You were completely ignoring him.

The past days you just ignored him, his texts and calls everything. Everytime he comes to talk to you at interval you just passed him. If comes to ask you something you directed him to the other managers. Even ones he asked you why you were acting so differently and ignoring him. But you straight up rolled your eyes on him. He got so annoyed by your actions. He only wants to know if he made some mistakes. But more than the mistakes you feel that it's a double game. He only wants to insult you and nothing else. You also know it's better to stay away from double faced people.

You were at your workplace constantly ignoring Jungkook. You never pick any personal calls during your work. But as it's lunch time and Jimin was calling you, being a good bestfriend you picked it up.

"Bestie! You're at work?" Jimin asked through the phone.

"Umm.. yeah. Anything?" You said.

"Today, I prepared dinner for you. Specially for you. Please come over at my place." Jimin said.

"Ahhh! Jimin! Tonight I can't. There's a lot of undone work." You ranted.

"You always say this things. Shut up, you have to. Else I will pick you up. Okay?" Jimin asked smiling.

"No need to come here. I'll come, it'll be late." You sighed.

"Great bae. Love you always." Jimin sang.

"Meet you tonight. Bye." You said.

"Say it back, piggy." Jimin shouted.

"Ahhhh love you Jimin! Bye." You also sang the same way he did and declined the call. You were already tired and again you have to go there.

Someone was there to noticed all the things you were doing, it's Jungkook. He heard all the talks with Jimin. Heard the way you have a plan tonight with Jimin, the way you sang love you to Jimin and the way you were giggling all the time talking to Jimin and not him. His inner spirit boiled to know you were again talking to that little brat who was his rival and he got jealous that you never hangout with him but you at once get ready to hangout with Jimin. He couldn't sit with his inner boiling ego. He need to ask you what happened, why did you hangout with Jimin and many other questions which a boyfriend need to ask his girlfriend. Time by time there was some sudden urge which keep him engaged with you. It  could be your personality, your way of showing emotions and everything you do. He also fall for you but still didn't know it.

Jungkook just entered the room where you were working and shut the door arrogantly. You were amazed what he just did but without caring much you did your work.

"Working, huh?" He asked. You just nodded a yes.

"Free tonight? Thinking of taking you to any restaurant." Jungkook smirked.

"Busy tonight. Hope you will understand." You rolled your eyes.

"Busy tonight with your boyfriend Jimin, huh?" Jungkook chuckled devilishly. Your eyes just burned to hear that. You frowned.

"Sry, my mistake. I mean your so called best friend Jimin." Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Jungkook, mind your own business." You shouted. He walk up to you and stand straight right before your face.

"Now,I understand why Jimin broke up with Areum. Jimin got you." He said as he pinned you at the wall. He thoroughly looked into your eyes leaving no gap. His hot steamy breath could be sensed by your cold skin. Each word he spokes makes your heart pound. His wide chest touches your torso. He was furious and angry that time you could clearly guess. But more he come nearer to you. You felt like hugging him. Instead of asking him to leave you, you just glared into his eyes. Both of you were stolen in each other eyes. No one was taking back.

"Love you Jiminiee." Jungkook mimicked you.

"Jungkook, stop it"

"Tell me that you love Jimin and I'll leave."

"What if we stand like this forever." You winked.

"Don't play with me, ____(y/n)" Jungkook smirked as he come closer to your face.

"What if I kiss you now?" You smirkingly said.

"Then do that! Jimin again got a cheater girlfriend. Poor Jimin." Jungkook giggled.

"I'm glad that he didn't get a girlfriend like Areum." You frowned.

"Mind your business. Dare not to speak anything about them." Jungkook arrogantly said.

"Who started, huh? Who's now pinning me? Who's jealous about Jimin? Who wants to take me to dinner? Hear yourself, baby." You playfully winked as you punched him to get off from him. He took a back from you.

"Seokjin is right my taste is real bad. Live with your Jimin happily." Jungkook said.

"First of all he's right to say that. Having a friend like Seokjin shows your taste. Secondly, Jimin is not my boyfriend. Lastly, don't ever dare to talk to me and fuck off." You ranted as you leave the room.

(✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡) (✿ ♡‿♡)

TAGS : @mellie1409 @pariyansha @alienatedkitten @chans-baby-girl @mwitsmejk @hello-stranger24 (sry the tags are not working)

[mandoalorian]

Brown Eyes [Din Djarin x Reader]

!! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 15, SEASON 2. !!

*Hi. The episode has been out for three hours. The devil works hard but I work harder. I hope you enjoy! xx*

Summary: Din has always wanted to confess his love to you— but with his devotion to the Creed and with the risk of losing you, he wonders if the revelation would really be worth it. Would you even consider being with him if he refused to remove his helmet? When Grogu is taken away from Din and in the fiendish hands of Moff Gideon, Din realises there isn't anything he won't do to get his son back.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: descriptions of anxiety, *SPOILERS FOR Season 2 Episode 15: The Believer of The Mandalorian*

Word count: 2.6k

Permanent taglist - let me know if you want to be added: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos

Masterlist

gif credit: @siennablake

"Din," you froze up, backing away from the Imperial who was sitting at a table drinking caf. "I- I can't do it."

Din's head snapped to face you, masked by the Imperial Shocktrooper helmet he was doting. "Why not?" His voice was firm, but the tone of his question dripped with concern. You bawled your fingers into a fist as you squeezed your eyes tight shut, beginning to anxiously pace around in circles.

"That's Valen Hess," you muttered, trying your hardest to regulate your nervous breathing. "He- I used to serve under him. I- can't… go in there. Din, he'll recognise me." the thoughts in your head were jumbled. Din placed two hands steady on your shoulders.

"I'll go, hand me the dataspike." Din told you calmly. You felt like putty under his touch. Usually, his firm grip would calm you down and ease any of your troubles away— but not this time. You felt completely nauseated.

Grogu was at stake. When you met the Mandalorian, it took him some time to find the confidence in introducing you to the child. You were Ex-Imperial after all. But he warmed up to you, seeing the way you cared so deeply for the children on Sorgan. When he introduced you to the little green bean, who did not yet have a name, you were enamoured. That's when Din knew he was in love with you. Ever since that day, he'd only fallen in love with you more and more. His feelings became stronger with every waking second he spent with you.

Of course, he never acted on his feelings. He wished he had, he wished he could say something. He knew that if something happened to you and you didn't know how he truly felt, he'd regret it for the rest of his life. There had been countless times where you and him brushed paths on the Razor Crest. Plenty of times to say something, plenty of times to mutter the three words that had consumed his mind, body and soul. ‘I love you’. The words were like a broken record in the back of his mind. He looked at you through his visor, seeing your distress and his heart aching and he wanted— no, he had to do something.

His son had been kidnapped and suddenly, Din was an unstoppable force. Nothing could hold him back— not his friends, not the Creed, nothing. The regret ate him up like flies on a corpse. If there was one thing he learned from Grogu's disappearance, is that you never know what is coming around the corner. Din began to treat everyday with you like it was your last because there was no way of telling what the future was holding. And that only stirred him on, the desire of telling you how much you meant to him.

"You can't go," you removed your finger from your lips where you had been anxiously biting your nails. "The security system is biometric facial recognition. There must be another way." you tried to rack your brain for a solution, but Din's mind was already made up.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes in search for an answer. You steadied your breathing. "Din," you whispered. "What if we distract them? You go in there and speak to him so he's looking the other way and I'll use that moment to sneak past and access the terminal."

No answer. "Din?" you asked, cautiously opening your eyes. He was already gone. Your mouth began to open and close like a goldfish as you watched his approach the terminal. He paused, midway between two tables, shakily saluting Valen Hess. Din turned back to the terminal, held his head up high and carried on over to it.

Upon examining it, Din found it was no different to any other information point— whether it had been New Republic or Independent, Din was lucky enough to already know how to navigate the system. He clicked a few buttons on the keypad, bringing up the facial recognition scanner. He stood still, letting it roam down his face. He didn't have much faith, but it was worth a shot.

Din cursed under his breath as the scanner light lit up red, beeping ecstatically.

"Error. Error. Facial scanning incomplete. Ten seconds until system shutdown." An automated voice informed. Din felt a few gazes burn into his back, no doubt Valen Hess noticing the commotion. "Ten, nine, eight-"

You watched as the timer went down, your hand fingers curling around the blaster in your holster. You didn't know what Din was going to, but you knew if anything— he was a man with a plan.

And that was when he removed his helmet.

It hit you like a ton of bricks, it took the air from your lungs leaving you gasping in silence. You felt like a criminal, looking at him with your own eyes. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't tear the gaze from the back of his head.

Brown hair. Dark brown hair, slightly messy from the helmet. Although you were some distance away, you noticed the little waves and the way it curled at the nape of his neck. The cut of the Imperial armour revealed just a sliver of his skin. It was golden tan— surprising to you.

"Facial scanning complete." The dataspike ejected from the terminal, a small light lit up in green, validating that the information had been processed and Din was now the owner of Moff Gideon’s co-ordinates. Just as he was about to put his helmet back on, a voice interrupted him.

Your heart sank when you saw that Valen Hess had approached Din.

"Trooper, where are you stationed?"

"Transportation."

"What?"

"My designation is transport— co-pilot."

"No son, what's your TK number?"

Din felt his throat dry up as he looked the man in the eyes. Valen Hess stared at Din right back, looking into the eyes that nobody had gazed into since Din had been sworn to the Creed. Din swallowed the lump in his throat, only for it to return immediately.

"He's with me." you announced, walking over to Din and Hess. A wash of relief shuttled through Din's body upon hearing your voice, but that was completely blown away when he realised you had seen him. It was true, you had seen his face— but there was no time to act up. Din had sacrificed everything for Grogu and you weren't going to let this go wrong. "This is my trooper, sir."

"Who is he and what's his TK number?" Valen Hess repeated, clicking his tongue between his teeth.

"This is my commanding officer TK-0402, and I'm TK-0322. I'm afraid he doesn't speak much. Ever since his vessel lost pressure on Tanaab." You explained with confidence, sighing apologetically and placing a hand on your hip.

Din found the courage to look at you, making brief yet bewildered glances between you and Valen Hess. He had a thousand questions but he knew he could trust you, and so, he smiled wearily, nodding his head in agreement to your little story.

"What's his name?" Hess inquired.

You took a deep breath, and turned to face Din. He looked at you too, his face softening as your eyes met for the very first time. You felt your heart rate slow down as you took in his appearance. You were nervous, and tensions were high, but as you looked into the Mandalorian's sparkling eyes, you felt a familiar sense of belonging. You felt complete.

"Brown eyes." you whispered, feeling the tears pool up as you tried to choke back a sob. Din smiled at you, just a small smile, but enough to make the corners of his eyes crinkle. It gave you the reassurance to know that this was all worth it.

"Well, brown eyes," Valen Hess adjusted his belt. "You troopers were both on the transport that brought in the valium, correct? The only surviving shocktroopers, might I add." he grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah, that was us." You answered hesitantly.

"Please, come join me for drinks. We must celebrate." Hess said, approaching the table he was originally sat at and ushering you over with an exaggerated gesture.

You and Din exchanged a look before walking over to the table and sinking down into the chair. Hess poured out two cups of caf and slid them over. Din stayed silent for most of the conversation, briefly making utterances of affirmation and nodding his head to suggest that he was indeed listening.

Although, he wasn't listening really. His mind was racing and he couldn't concentrate on anything. Although it wasn't necessarily true, he felt like every head in the room was looking at him. Staring at him. Judging him breaking his oath. Was he a failure? Was he a disgrace to the Creed? Dishonourable? A monster?

"I could blather on 'to health' or 'to success', but… tell me TK-0322, where do you come from?"

"Alderaan." you said without hesitation. Din looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, wondering why exactly you had given Hess the details of your real planet.

"Ah, I see…" Hess frowned. "Well, to Alderaan!" he grinned, raising his glass in the air.

"No." you deadpanned and Hess shot you a confused look.

"No?"

"No." you repeated. "Alderaan was a peaceful planet destroyed by the Empire."

"And those on the Death Star, those who aided in the destruction of Alderaan became heroes of the Empire. I was there." he said with pride.

Din watched your face harden as your cheeks burned up with rage. "Heroes?" you croaked out. "For attacking and murdering innocents? Hundreds of thousands of people died on Alderaan. I lost my family."

"Losing the ones we love is simply part of life," Hess revealed with a sigh— and Din felt his heart shatter at his words. He stiffened up, his gaze fixating on the concrete wall as his surroundings began to faze out.

"At what cost?" you whispered. "You know, every day I think about it. I wished there was something I could do to stop it. But no, I was here, fighting for the Empire. While the Empire was out killing my people." You gritted out as tears pricked your eyes. You felt Dins hand manouver under the table and take place on your thigh, as his gloved fingers rubbed comforting circles into the thin material that covered your skin. His hand was large, fitting around your leg perfectly. He held you down, stopping your anxious shaking and you immediately calmed down. Din wasn't going to stop you, but he did want you to not let your feelings intrude on what was really happening right now. Valen Hess, however, looked mortified. You picked up the glass and forced a smile. Din copied your movement and you clinked your glass with his. "To family." you toast, and Din smiles. He smiles so wide a dimple appears in his cheek.

"To family." he confirms, thinking about his son and how close he was to getting him back.

You put the glass of caf back down on the table and quickdrew your blaster, shooting Valen Hess in the chest.

Din knew better than to question you. He took out his own pistol and helped you take down the remaining troopers and Imps in the room before you both raced out of the base.

Of course, you knew that there'd be commotion. You heard the TIE fighter engines as soon as you stepped foot outside. Din grabbed your hand, pulling you along as you both sprinted into the depths of the forest. Once deep enough, you looked up. It was dark, strings of light beaming through the gaps in the trees. But it was enough to illuminate Din. You had envisioned what Din looked like beneath his beskar helmet every single day, and now, you had your answer.

Din took one look at you. He pulled off his leather gloves, dropping them to the ground and placed his hand on your cheek. Subconsciously, you leaned into the warmth of his palm as his fingers tucked the strands of hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes, humming in delight as his bodily warmth transferred to you.

"Din, when we return to the ship you can put your helmet back on. I never saw you." you promised, your voice barely above a whisper and your eyes remaining closed.

"Cyare," Din mumbled, his heart yearning. The pad of his thumb traced your face, following the height of your cheek bones and the arch of your eyebrows and down your nose. "Open your eyes." he requested. Cautiously, you obeyed, your eyes fluttering open as you drunk in his appearance once more.

Brown stubble with a patch of grey graced the lower portion of his face. You reached out, this time your own hand cupping his cheek. Din didn't let go of you, and he let you touch him. Your finger nervously brushed over the coarse hairs and you let out a small giggle as you remembered him telling you from the Fresher room on the Razor Crest that he was going to shave. He had, and now you could see for yourself that it had started growing back.

"Do… do you like what you see?" Din asked nervously, his gaze only temporarily lifting from yours.

You nodded your head. "I do," you admitted. "You're… so handsome."

Din felt his cheeks heat up as you watched the small blush creep upon his face. You were enthralled, seeing him like this. Seeing his humanity— his emotions and expressions. You knew you loved Din, with or without the helmet— but this confirmed everything.

"May I?" Din asked, leaning into you slowly and closing his eyes. The curve of his nose bumped against yours as and the softness of his lips touched you so delicately.

You mumbled a small 'yes' and as your lips parted, Din kissed you. Soft, sweet, but passionate and with heart. You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging at it and encouraging Din to kiss you deeper and further. He done so, willingly, a groan of pleasure escaping his mouth and vibrating through your body.

He pulled away eventually, breathless and his eyes dark and glazed. "I-I…" he was speechless, looking at you with the utmost adoration. "I love you." He sighed in defeat, knowing now was a better time than any to admit his true feelings. He had to do it one day, and it just so happened to be in the depths of a forest as you hid from Imperials.

"I love you too." you exhaled shakily, thrusting forward into his arms and letting him hold you tight to his chest. He pressed a kiss into your hair.

"I love you so much." Din sobbed, his grip around you tightening like he was afraid that if he let go, you'd vanish just like Grogu did. "Please, never leave me. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere Din," you promised. "Now c’mon, let's go get Grogu."

PART TWO

[n0tamused]

Hello! Hope you're doing well! So I saw that your requests were open so, may I request something about Kakashi's gf being pregnant but being afraid of telling him? (because he lost so many loved ones, she doesn't want to pressure him into being a father idk if that makes sense) Like she's pregnant but it's not visible yet but she as some symptoms already? Kakashi didn't really noticed until someone mentioned it?

It can be a one shot or a drabble, i'm leaving that to you. But I would like it to be fluff if you don't mind 👉🏼👈🏼

It's really specific i guess and I hope ypu don't mind! If it's bothering you in any way feel free to skip it 😊

Have a nice day/night and take care!

Warnings: pregnancy, throwing up, a hint of angst

Words: 2.406

Kakashi Hatake x Reader

The cashier held the packed groceries for Y/N to take. A polite smile ever-present on her face. "Have a wonderful day!"

She managed to smile back and take the bag into her arms. It wasn't the need for groceries that got Y/n to the store, but another item that got her mind running a few nights ago.

The realization hit her then. She didn't even have to take the test to know it was true. A gut wrenching feeling broke throughout her as she was just passing through an alley, a shortcut to Kakashi and her's shared home. Frozen in place, eyes glued to the floor, she felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. Vision getting cloudy and blurry.

She knew Kakashi wouldn't react in a way that would harm her, not in any way, shape or form. But it was hard to deny the fact that it was anxiety inducing, this wasn't something to be taken lightly. Neither of them were planning on kids any time soon. Not to mention the sad history of the Copy-Nin. Even in the beginning of their relationship it took time for him to finally warm up, to really be comfortable with the new intimacy. With receiving such love and care, to finally be safe to be vulnerable. To feel protected and loved and to form an attachment.

The walk home from there felt slow and the wait for the test to show the results was even worse. Nausea raked and coiled in her gut as she sat beside the toilet, having thrown up some time ago. How much time has even passed?

The woman looked forlornly up at the sink where the stick laid. The tiles were cold under her, yet she found herself glued to them, letting the coldness of them seep into her flesh and bones. But eventually she had to get up.

Fear now started to rampage in her system, mind spiraling as her nimble fingers took hold of the test. An unfamiliar haze was brought over her eyes, it made it hard to see but she soon realized that she was staring at two prominent red lines on the small window of the test. Shock. The fear suddenly gone and was replaced with a hollow feeling deep within her which felt even worse. Tears began to sting her eyes again and they came pouring out like a waterfall, in large beads and onto the sink. Cold hands gripped the edge of it for some stability as the woman hunched over it, the test abandoned as the other hand came to knuckle and wipe away the ongoing stream of tears. Silently she let herself cry it out, she couldn't bottle it up any longer. Kakashi wouldn't be home until the sun was already set, and now the sun was still high in the sky.

The woman couldn't look herself in the mirror after that. Hiding the test in her room she decided that it was best to tell her beloved the sooner the better. Hiding it from him would only prolong her fear and anxiety, and she didn't want to imagine the reaction he would have after hearing the news and how much she just waited to tell him. Not to mention it would be quite a task to hide something like this from someone like Kakashi. The evening was spent with a poor attempt to make some food, something to fill the gaping hole in her gut, something to make her feel warmth again. Filled with the vast expanse of helplessness she barely made anything in the end.

When Kakashi arrived home he was met with coldness. Something he became familiar with when Y/n wasn't in the best of moods. He padded through the hall quietly, listening for any sounds that may come, but all he heard was the sound of shuffling. Pushing the door open it unexpectedly creaked, a long cry of the old worn door caused the woman on the bed to startle. Body twisting around like an eel to meet his confused stare.

"Hey, it's just me, love.. What's the matter..?"

He felt worried immediately, he was used to sadness and gloomy moods but he wasn't used to her being so frightened. Not around him. Not on the battlefield and definitely not in the comforts of their shared house.

"Oh I didn't hear you, that's all.."

Came her reply, yet she found yourself moving into him, arms embracing around his middle in a desperate need of comfort. Kakashi didn't hesitate to return the hug, nuzzling his cheek into the side of her head for a moment. Mind running laps in an attempt to figure out what got his belovee like this, but it all came back blank.

"Kakashi I have to talk to you."

The sentence made him stiff, but he nodded and let her lead him to sit on the bed, one arm loosely wrapped around her tense shoulders.

All words that came to her died immediately on her tongue, and swallowing hard her gaze fell to the ground. Eyes threatening to spill tears again but she pushed them back.

"I…"

Y/n tried, but it all felt like bile in her mouth. Not having rest properly,the stress of missions and now this too. It was all catching up to her now. From her peripheral vision she could see the brows of the silver headed ninja furrow in confusion and worry.

"Did something happen? You're looking sickly, are you feeling ill?"

"No."

Her response came a bit too quickly, head shaking before she took a deep breath, exhaling before she looked at him. His eyes searched hers as if he could find the answer that way. Y/n felt horrible. He had gone through enough and all the attempts of telling him about it came to a halt. She couldn't do this to him, not now, he had to rest. She could tell him some time during the week, she told yourself.

"I just… it was a long day, I barely got any rest last night too. I missed you Kakashi.."

His expression suddenly lightened but it did not lose its worry and confusion. She had slept alone the last few nights before work prevented him from coming home at all, so he understood. Yet he couldn't help but feel something was amiss. A small voice at the back of his head whispering something incoherent.

"I missed you too."

He replied and pulled her into another embrace. Sighing out his worry he focused solely on caressing her, hoping that would ease the stress and worries of that day. And it seemed to work. For the rest of the night they both rested in each other's arms, leading a small talk about random things, it eased both of them and even made them forget about worries and fears. In the morning, when Kakashi was getting dressed and Y/n, watching him with sleep heavy eyelids, he came to crouch before her and kiss her on the forehead. Telling her something about how he'll leave Pakkun with her that day. Smiling when he saw you blink at him, trying to grasp at his words. In the end she only nodded and attempted to wipe away the sleep from her eyes as he left.

And as promised, Pakkun remained at her side. He would occasionally chip in to say something, and even the nin asked if she were alright, saying how something felt off now. Y/N only nodded, everything was fine.

Y/N missed going on missions but ever since she started feeling so ill, she was given several days off, not that she had any choice but to accept as even Kakashi was fussing that she couldn't fight in such a condition.

In the middle of the day the nausea returned. Y/N have just eaten freshly prepared lunch and it all came back up soon after. Toppled over the toilet seat she took in a mouthful of air when she finally felt her gut settle down. Pakkun sat at the door to the bathroom, worried look plastered on his canine face.

"Hey, you should really go and visit a medic. This has been going on for a while, it can't be any good."

She heard him say through buzzing ears, a static feeling coursing through her as an after effects of having thrown up. Pushing herself away she stood on shaky legs, feeling a tad bit better but awfully tired. Only a nod came in response to his words before she padded into the living room to sit down only to end up passing away on the couch. Head feeling heavier and heavier until she felt the plush material of the couch press against the side of her face. Hands curled around a pillow she placed over her stomach, some semblance of comfort and warmth coming from it.

Meanwhile Pakkun slowly waltzed into the bedroom, hoping to find a blanket he could drag back to Y/N. Taking the corner of the folded blanket in his maw he moved back, paws pushing into the slippery surface of the polished wood. Groaning he forcefully pulled, the blanket now flying out from under the rest of the folded sheets, making Pakkun fly back and hit the work desk. If it weren't for the clank of something falling from the top drawer, the ninken would've ignored it. But the item that fell at his paws even made him stop in his tracks. His ears pinned back in surprise. It fit like a puzzle piece, the girl's weird illness finally made sense. He figured Kakashi didn't know, otherwise he would've said something along the lines of that his partner was pregnant.

Nonetheless, Pakkun figured out why that was the case too, he knew Y/N well enough, but seeing how things were going he decided to tell Kakashi on his own. To spare her some of the stress of it all. Before he took his leave he did manage to drape the soft blanket over the woman's figure, having had to jump on the couch and do quite some pulling to get it over her all while staying silent.

Pakkun found Kakashi just when he was heading home, in one of the paths between two houses that he called a shortcut. Abruptly halting the ninken panted, his gaze narrowing at Kakashi's figure.

"Hey boss. I have something to tell you."

Pakkun started, perched up on one of the roof ledges where he stared down at Kakashi who didn't quite expect him to see him there. Exposed eye widened at the sight of him, the worst coming to his mind.

"What are you- is Y/N alright?"

The silver head blurted out before he could think of anything else, hands falling out of his pockets. Kakashi already felt a small tightness in his chest, anxiety creeping up on him.

"Y/N is just fine, but why I'm here does concern her."

Pakkun responded as he made his way down from the roof, hopping from ledge to window and window and to the ground. Now standing in front of Kakashi he huffed and looked up at him.

"You really should look into bigger homes, you're gonna get a small addition soon."

At that Kakashi looked at him, guffawed. Silence followed soon after Pakkun spoke, Kakashi at loss of words as he still tried to make out the riddle the sentence represented. "What..are you saying?"

Kakashi looked at Pakkun quizzically, even as the puzzle pieces slowly fell in his head as well, he was still slow to fully process the information.

"Y/n is with a child, Kakashi."

---------

When you woke the next time the sun had already been setting, only the small arch of the sun was visible on the horizon. The sky painted in warm and vibrant colors of orange and red. Your head swam with the unconscious, still not grasping the sensation of being awake yet. Eyes blinking lazily at the bedroom window. Wait…

Finally breathing in you felt the blanket tucked around you. Yet Kakashi was not there with you. A small sense of panic grasped you as you sat up, looking around. Sleep hazed mind sent you into a frantic state and almost instantly you found yourself searching for the pregnancy stick where you hid it. It wasn't there. It was not there. Pushing books and papers aside you still couldn't find it. It was not there.

"Y/n."

Kakashi's voice rang out and you turned around. He wasn't wearing his uniform, nor his mask. A simple gray shirt clung to his figure along with some black sweatpants. He held the door open with his hand, a small hint of worry was present on his face. His lips pressed together in a thin line before he approached you and pulled you into himself. You now knew that he knew. A shaky breath escaped you as you still waited for him to speak up first but that never came. He just held you there, caressing up and down your back.

"Kakashi… "

You started but your voice soon trailed off.

"I know. Pakkun told me today." He stated simply, nose brushing against your hair and inhaling your scent.

"Oh… I was planning on telling you myself.. I just didn't...I didn't know how to tell you last night.. I'm sorry."

You felt him nod against you, humming in response. And to your surprise, you felt him smile.

"It's alright. I'm not angry… It is a bit surprising but I could never be angry at you, not for this.. Please do not feel afraid anymore, it's alright."

Kakashi reassured, pulling away just enough to move his hands to cup the sides of your face. Looking into your eyes he saw the anxiety you held melt away, his own anxiety disappearing as well. He felt nothing but pure love for you. He wouldn't like anyone else to start a family with but you.

His thumb brushed over your cheekbone and then he leaned in and pressed his lips to your temple, holding you like that for a moment before he pulled away. A smile pulled at the corners of his lips, a smile you soon mirrored when you saw it. Leaning down slowly he pulled you into a kiss, you meeting him half way and smiling into the kiss.

[seabass17]

All that’s left | Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.

All that's left pt. 1

Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?

Word count: 3.263

Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?

*Three months later*

The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.

“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.

“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.

“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.

He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God,  I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.

“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.

“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.

“What is it?” i asked.

“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.

“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.

“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said

“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked

“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?

“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.

“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled

“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.

“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded

“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.

Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.

*10 hours earlier*

Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.

Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.

“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.

Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.

“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.

“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.

“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.

“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.

“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.

"It's different" Tony said

“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.

Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.

“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.

The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.

“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.

Breathe. In… and out…

It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.

“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.

“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.

“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.

“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.

“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.

“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.

“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.

“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him

“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.

“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him

“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”

“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.

“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.

“What about the rest of us y/n?”  Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.

“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.

“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.

“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”

Thor was standing completely still.

“Lady y/n…”

“How is it possible? I was there  and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.

“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.

“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.

“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me

I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.

“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.

“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.

“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said

“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.

“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that,  I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.

He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.

“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said

“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him

“You’ll see”

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Taglist

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