#I'm just here to pretend I know how military works yeah

[siddyyyyyyyy]

University Romance

Johnny 'Soap' McTavish x female!Reader

part three; two, one

wc: ~3k

summary: You and Johnny are two professors at a university, and he often catches you working late in your office. Also, you're just really good friends and there's probably more to it.

warnings: none, no y/n used, 'crazy' chemistry professor Soap, Johnny and Reader are about the same age, the name of the university is fictional

a/n: this is probably the most cheesy and frustrating part of them all. Have fun!

Redcrest High Acedamy, Friday 12:30 PM

»Dad wants to grill tomorrow. Some relatives are joining too.«

Johnny is thrown out of his thoughts, not having seen you approach him. He puts his empty food tray away and processes your words, finally looking at you.

»Oh, nice... and I'm invited, I guess?« You huff at his question, crossing your arms at him.

»I wouldn't tell you if you weren't.«

He nods again at your words, pretending to have been sarcastic about it.

»Right, right... I'll also be there tomorrow. Just text me when.« You stop walking at his words, expecting something more from him. He also stops, looking at you confused.

»We'll go shopping before that. Together.« You clarify, making him feel dumbfounded. Of course you'd need to go shopping together. How was he this stupid to miss out on that? Seriously.

»Oh, right. Yeah, right... um, when's that?« He asks this time and rubs the back of his neck, probably trying to come as casual as possible in front of you. In reality, Johnny is experiencing five stages of grief in his mind. Grilling with you and some relatives, also going grocery shopping with you before that? There's absolutly no reason for him to try and create another personality just for that occasion at all.

From the day he got to know your father, he also found out about the so-called relatives. All very close friends from your father that had a history in the military or CIA. He knew he was doomed. Not exactly knowing why, but he is sure everyone would be at least a little spooked by your family once they hear about their professions.

Eventually, you decided to go straight to the shopping mall after the last lecture. It was a little over seven in the evening once you arrived in the grocery store; it had the perfect temperature for a nice walk. Finally, you are inside the store and can start following the list your father sent you this morning.

Going around the aisles, you made Johnny carry the basket while putting the items into it. It's mostly him following you around and inspecting the grocery store at the same time. Once you get to the meat section, he can't help but make a joke.

»Oh, I know bigger meat than that.« You pause at his comment, keeping the pack of raw ribs in your hand, and look to him beside you, puzzled.

»...Those are ribs, Johnny. What do you mean?«

By the dumb smirk on his face, it's not clear if he is more amused by your confusion or his own joke. He tries again, taking a subtle step closer to you.

»You know, the-«

»Soap? Miss Price?!«

Another voice from behind you luckily interrupts you both, making you glance behind your shoulders. The rather annoying voice is instantly recognised by Johnny; you are having some trouble with it, however. But judging from the way the younger man had used the nickname his students gave Johnny, it's not hard to put the pieces together.

»Carl...« Your colleague sighs out, his shoulders slumping down as he looks to his student. Of course, you had thought about possible students spotting you in the grocery store, but you've also never thought there would be actual students of your university in here.

»What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be doing the assignment I gave you?«

Johnny continues in a more firm tone, but Carl is definitely not fazed by it, instead looking between the two of you briefly. It must be weird for him to see his professors at a grocery store, only having seen them in the university. They have a life outside of that building?

»Yeah, but I also have to take care of my groceries. I'm also an adult, you know?« Carl counters back easily, his eyes fleeting to the basket Johnny is holding and at the ribs in your hand, briefly.

»Oh, are you preparing for the grill party you talked about?«

Now this makes you look to Johnny with a rather scolding look, having thought he stopped talking about you in his lessons. Johnny scoffs as he senses your look, really needing to get out of this situation. He eventually shakes his head and tries to say something appropriate, even when he wants to curse his student out and make him fail all his classes.

»Carl— really bad moment. Do you really want more trouble? You already failed that experiment and almost caused a fire, I would just walk away in your position.«

Finally, Carl nods and looks sheepishly to the ground. A brief moment of silence goes by before he speaks up, more quieter this time.

»There are steaks in sale in the last row... Just so you know.«

He mumbles before finally stepping off and possibly making his way out of the store. However, very unfortunate for Johnny, you are still there and clearly bemused by the situation.

»I thought you stopped talking about me in your classes. We talked about this.« You put the pack of ribs with less gentleness into the basket, huffing out slightly.

»Look, I know... this, well...I really just told them about a grillparty. I never said your name or anything.«

Johnny is trying his hardest to not make you any more annoyed by him, being angry towards his poor student now. He hovers his hand by the small of your back, subtly guiding you around the store to try and keep you close, at least.

»I really, really didn't say anything about you. I promise you, I just said, 'I'm going to a grill party this weekend, don't expect me to grade all your stuff 'til Monday.' That's literally all I said, and the boom-box just had to be noisy.«

He rambles out while you keep your eyes on the grocery list in your phone, not being able to actually be upset for long. He is practically using the beat up puppy look on you now, which is why you won't look at him. After a few silent seconds, you relent by rolling your eyes and exhaling softly.

»Just tell your 'boom-box' to stop being so noisy and loud. And, for the love of God, stop talking about your private life in your lectures.«

Johnny smiles relieved and finally puts his hand on your back properly while guiding you to the last row. He apologises again and keeps closer to you this time, as if afraid you would change your mind if he went away for a minute.

In the end, you brought all the necessary stuff from the grocery list your dad wrote, standing by the cashier now. The elder lady scans the products while you go through the list one last time, noticing you're missing an item.

»Oh, Johnny, could you grab some mushrooms, please?«

He nods and eventually lets you sort the scanned items into the basket for now, making his way to get mushrooms. While he is away, the cashier smiles warmly at you and finally speaks up.

»You guys are lovely! I love seeing fine gentlemen like your husband; I really wish my son was as nice as your husband, he really needs someone to settle down with. But I am really happy you have such a man like your husband, there needs to be more men like these.«

Before you could respond to her ramble, Johnny was already back with the mushrooms you sent him to get, taking back the basket from you and continuing to sort the items into it like before. He is oblivious to your flusterness from the lady's words. Johnny, the fine gentleman he is, ends up paying for the groceries and carries them back to his car with you.

While driving you back to your place, he can't help but notice how quiet you've become. Did you change your mind and are still upset about him and Carl? Should he actually let his student fail at his class?

He decides to not address it for now, hoping he is just overthinking again and shouldn't even think in the first place.

----

House of your Dad, Saturday 2:16 PM

The time you should all meet was 2:15 PM, however, Johnny is one minute late. He is also the earliest one. Always has been by far.

You're preparing the stuff for the grill in the kitchen with your dad, hearing the door ring. John, your father, makes his way to greet the first guest, already assuming it's that chemistry freak of yours.

And after opening the door, he's greeted with Johnny McTavish, in his flesh. They greet each other as usual, a strong bear hug, followed with the usual small talk they have as they're catching up.

They finally arrive in the kitchen, helping you out with getting the ingredients ready. Both John's are now setting up the grill, while you get to greet the other guests; Laswell with her wife arriving at second.

Nikolai, or as you call him, Uncle Nikolai, arrives almost right after the pair and gives you a warm hug as well. He settles on helping on the grill while catching up, a cup of a sweet drink in his hand. Lastly, Frank arrives, or as Price usually calls him by his nickname, 'Woods'. Or Uncle Woods, for most of the time, for you.

The names really are bizarre, but you've stopped questioning them after the third time of asking as a kid. Seriously, Woods? Like, the one's in the forest? Price? Like, the tags on stuff? What kind of names are those?

Besides the funny names, all these close friends of your father were and always are nice to you. Even with their obscure, horrifying, and action-filled stories that they carry around, these are always people you can trust and feel loved by.

Laswell takes you out of your thoughts, as you're all sitting at the table in the backyard, while the others are standing by the grill with a few drinks in hand and making sure everything is nicely cooked.

»How's work, sweetie?«

As always she smiles kindly at you and waits for your answer, her wife sitting beside her as she also waits for your answer. You three mostly talk about the typical stuff, getting into small talk before Laswell gets to tell you a story from probably a few years ago, when she still worked with your dad together before retiring.

»... But Nikolai didn't know and thought he just fell out, informing John, and he almost lost his mind! Imagine; your father stressed, while following the vehicle that I was taken hostage in; finding out his sergeant fell out of the helicopter. Insane, right? But luckily, they rescued me and nothing bad happened.«

You listen to the story as your aunt laughs lightly, finding some kind of humour in that horrifying 'story'. It was clear that your father and his friends had a broken humour, hardened by all the things they saw, but it always manages to amaze you.

»He did have his safety-rope on, right? Nothing happened?«

You ask, wanting to hear her clarify that again, and they aren't laughing about somethig tragic now. Nikolai joins by, sitting down on the chair beside you.

»Oh, he did, he did... He was as fine as a cucumber.« He answers your question with a soft chuckle, seeing the rather worried look on your face before you relax again.

Soon Johnny is placing the grilled meat and sausages on the table, your father joining at the table with more sweet drinks and glasses. Woods also joins eventually, sitting down with a small grunt besides your dad. Everyone is settled, getting some salads on your plate and the grilled goods, enjoying the light atmosphere as some R&B playlist is softly playing in the background.

»When are you getting married, son?« Nikolai nudges Johnny lightly and waits for his answer. Of course, the most dreaded question on the table comes on. Johnny just shrugs, trying to answer casually and shrug it off as best as possible.

»When my students will stop giving me grey hair.«

Uncle Woods barks out a laugh at the opposite of the table, looking to him. »Don't. You'll wait until retirement if you keep that up.«

»When I was your age...« John, your father starts, not meaning to sound like a total boomer but still gets interrupted by Laswell.

»Yeah, you were almost working yourself to the bone at his age and locked up one of the most wanted terorrists. Don't start talking.«

She scolds lightly, taking a sip of her drink while Johnny sulks secretly beside you. Your aunt didn't mean to sound mean or as if Johnny didn't achieve anything in his life, but it still makes him stare at his plate full of regret for a brief moment.

The evening goes by with fun chats and more unbelievable stories from the time from their military time, eventually sitting contentedly at the big table. The sun is lower on the sky now, making up for a casual orange tint across the backyard. After talking some more, you decided to clean up the table together, Nikolai helping you while doing so. Johnny tried to help out as well, but got held back by Price, letting him sit at the table for now, while you and Uncle Nik are preparing to put the cakes out and get some warm drinks.

»Now, son... I've got a mission for you.«

Price starts in a low tone, turning to face him better and make sure the message comes across. Woods leans his forearms on the table in front of him, also looking seriously to the oblivious chemist.

»If you won't make a move on my daughter, I will force you. We already talked about this, you know? Either now, or never.«

Woods joins on it, speaking up while putting his most serious and threatening expression on. »Damn right. And keep in mind; Price doesn't let anoyone get this close to his daughter. You are lucky we even like you.«

Johnny gulps as he hears these men talk to him like this, feeling his own body tense as they size him up him. »Just promise me to finally grow a pair and ask her out.«

Your dad doesn't say anything more and awaits his response. Laswell and her wife can't help but crack a small smile at the whole interrogation act they pull on him, but not interrupting for now. Finally, Johnny answers with a calm tone. At least he hopes he comes off as calm.

»I will, Mister Price. I'll... I will do it soon.«

After his response, the go back to being normal like before and seem satisfied with him for now.

»You know, it took me one year to take up my courage and speak to my wife. Don't be so hard on yourself.«

Price waves her comment off dismissively, looking to Lawell now. »You're lesbian, Kate. That's different.«

The table resonates with laughter once you walk into the backyard with Nik, a simple cake in hand while your uncle carries the few cups in for some coffee and tea. You're oblivious to what they were discussing just now, seeing them all laugh and have a good time.

You set down the cake in the middle and cut it into eight pieces while Nik and Woods are pouring warm coffee and tea into the cups, handing it around the table. The sun is slowly sinking on the sky, creating a more calming atmosphere as it's getting a little chilly out. Eventually, you're sitting beside Johnny again, eating a pieece of cake while chatting with the rest.

----

House of your Dad, 8:07 PM

After some longer while it's time to say goodbye, finally cutting the chemist some slack. As your dad guides everyone out, you and Johnny are cleaning up the table in the backyard before loading the dishwasher in the kitchen together. As you're at the last few dishes, Johnny takes up his courage.

You're washing your hands by the sink as he steps closer beside you and lean against the counter while looking to you.

»I've been thinking about this for a while now, and... do you want to go out some time? Like... in the new restaurant by my place?«

As you're drying your hands, you look to him too and nod without hesitating or thinking too much about it. You two have been talking about that restaurant before, having planned to go there for a while.

»Sure, we could go there sometime. I won't mind.«

Johnny smiles, feeling his heart stutter in his chest at your words. He can't believe this is real, you agreed so easily to it.

»Really?«

He asks, trying his best to keep cool and not totally freak out from the surge of excitement he feels right now. Finally, it has been so easy all the time, and he was too afraid to actually ask you out. He could jump out of happiness.

»Yeah, we're just hanging out, right? I'm sure I'll have some time for that.«

You ask and watch him, waiting for his answer. He, on the other hand, freezes at your question. Did he really need to mess up this badly?

»Uh... sure. We'll just hang out. And stuff.« He manages to answer, gripping the counter for dear life he is leaning on. You notice the way he seems pained, but your dad walks in, checking in to see if you both need some more help. Eventually, you three guide Johnny out and watch him drive off to his own home finally.

»I would marry him if I were you.« Price pats your shoulder before he enters the house again, leaving you on your own at the porch. ...what?

a/n: this is very frustrating, but I promise you, the next part will be longer and better. Hope you ennjoyed it!

and yes, the black ops and helicopter mission reference is real

[libraford]

Finally found the clip from the Simpsons that runs through my head every time someone uses veterans to deflect from a different cause. This episode aired when I was a kid and its stuck with me forever.

"How come the gays get a whole month and veterans just get one day? That's not fair!"

The military actually get a whole month- May is Military Appreciation month. In addition to that, here's a list military-centered holidays in the US

Three of these are federally recognized holidays (Memorial Day, Veterans Day, July 4) which affect the business week. There often parades. It is quite a long list.

Pride is one month- June. We ALSO have a long list of holidays (awareness days, days commemorating activists, memorial days for tragedies). However, none of them are federally recognized holidays that affect the work week. We do not get a day off for June 28th in recognition of the Stonewall Riots.

What the people throwing patriotism around like this either do not know or pretend not to know- is that just about every pride celebration is put together by a handful of regular citizens. Like... this isn't really your tax dollars at work. This is the dollars of willing sponsors and committee members.

But I digress. My point isn't that one has more recognition than the other. Would I like June 28th to be recognized? Yeah! Not the point. The spirit of this clip was about the manipulation tactic of using veterans as emotional leverage. "Look! I'm a good person! I care about the veterans! Look at me being a good person!" It's meant to shut down an argument.

Anyways. Glad I found the clip. I think about it every day during June.

[muiitoloko]

The Grass is Greener

Summary: Frank grumbles about his garden chores on his day off but finds joy and love in the simple moments shared with his wife.

Pairing: Frank Benson × Fem! Reader

Warnings: none

Author's Notes: I finally wrangled my brain into writing something for Frank! I've been itching to do it but was fresh out of ideas. Somehow, I managed to pull it off. Fingers crossed it's not terrible and that you like it! 😅

Also read on Ao3

Frank smiled half-asleep, aware that today was his day off and he could stay in bed later to relax. He snuggled deeper into the pillow, letting out a satisfied sigh, only for the feeling to be abruptly interrupted by the sunlight hitting his face repeatedly as you, his wife, opened the curtains.

"Time to wake up, Frank," you said, your voice cheerful but firm.

Frank groaned, pulling the covers over his head to hide from the light. "Come on, woman, it's my day off. Let me rest in peace!" he grumbled, his baritone voice muffled by the blankets.

You didn't allow it. With a determined tug, you pulled the covers away from him and sat down next to him on the bed. "You promised me two weeks ago that you'd cut the grass in the garden," you reminded him, shaking his shoulder gently. "Every time I remind you, you say you'll do it on your day off. Well, today is your day off, and now I want the grass cut."

Frank grumbled, turning onto his back and squinting up at you with hazel eyes that still held a trace of sleep. "It's because of things like this that I wanted to live in an apartment," he muttered. "But no, you wanted a house with a garden. You said it would be good for the children."

You playfully hit him on the arm, knowing how grumpy Frank could be when he first woke up. "And it was good for the children," you teased. "But now the children are gone, and you're still stuck with the garden."

Frank sighed heavily, running a hand through his white hair. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "The kids are gone, and now I'm a glorified gardener."

You laughed softly, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "You know you love it here, Frank. And besides, the exercise will do you good."

Frank rolled his eyes but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at his lips. "Fine," he said, his tone resigned. "I'll get up and cut the grass. But only because I love you."

You grinned, pleased with his compliance. "That's my man," you said, patting his chest. "Now, come on. Up and at 'em!"

Frank sat up slowly, his body protesting the movement. "Incredible," he muttered, shaking his head. "A man can be military all his life, but he still can't get out of chores at home."

You chuckled, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Well, at least you're good at following orders," you teased.

Frank's hazel eyes twinkled with a mix of amusement and exasperation. "Yes, ma'am," he replied, his baritone voice dripping with sarcasm as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'll have that grass cut before lunch."

As he stood up and stretched, you watched him with a fond smile. Despite his grumpiness, Frank always came through, and you knew how much he loved your home, even if he pretended otherwise.

"Thank you, Frank," you said softly, your hand resting on his back.

Frank turned to you, his expression softening. "Anything for you," he said, his voice warm. "Now, let's get this over with."

With that, Frank headed towards the bathroom to get ready for the day, leaving you with a contented smile. It was moments like these that reminded you just how much you loved your life together, even with all its little quirks and challenges.

You made your way to the kitchen, the aroma of fresh coffee already filling the air. You knew you couldn't send Frank out to work on an empty stomach—he'd grumble about it all day. Smiling to yourself, you began preparing his favorite breakfast, something he always requested and loved to remind you was the choice of a Lieutenant General, whenever you teased him too much about his military precision at home.

You started by cracking eggs into a bowl, whisking them with a touch of cream and a sprinkle of salt. As the skillet heated on the stove, you moved on to the next component: perfectly crispy bacon. Frank loved the smell of bacon in the morning, and you could already imagine the small smile that would tug at his lips as he walked into the kitchen.

While the bacon sizzled, you began to toast some thick slices of whole grain bread. You knew Frank appreciated the simple pleasures, and a well-made toast was one of them. You also sliced a ripe tomato and some avocado, adding a bit of freshness to the plate.

As you moved around the kitchen, your mind wandered to the many mornings you had spent together, the quiet routine that had become a cherished part of your life. Despite the grumbling and the playful complaints, you knew Frank loved these moments just as much as you did.

Once the eggs were scrambled to a creamy perfection, you arranged everything on a plate—scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, toasted bread, sliced tomato, and avocado. To top it off, you poured a fresh cup of coffee, just the way Frank liked it, with a splash of milk and a single sugar cube.

As you set the plate and coffee cup on the kitchen table, you heard the bathroom door open and the familiar sound of Frank's footsteps coming down the hall. He appeared in the doorway, his white hair still damp from the shower, his face freshly shaven. Despite the early morning grumbling, there was a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Smells good in here," he said, his baritone voice warm with appreciation as he took in the sight of his favorite breakfast. "You always know how to spoil me, don't you?"

You chuckled, gesturing to the plate on the table. "Well, I couldn't let you go out there on an empty stomach, could I? Especially not when you have to tackle that wild garden of ours."

Frank's hazel eyes twinkled with amusement as he sat down and took a sip of his coffee. "You know, I do miss the days when my biggest concern was strategizing military operations, not battling overgrown grass."

You leaned over and kissed the top of his head, your fingers lightly brushing through his white hair. "Well, you’re still my Lieutenant General, Frank. And as your loyal subordinate, I’ll make sure you’re well-fed and ready for battle."

Frank laughed, the sound deep and rich, as he picked up his fork and began to eat. "I suppose that's fair," he said between bites. "Though I must admit, I do enjoy these quieter battles a bit more."

As he ate, you sat across from him, sipping your own coffee and enjoying the peaceful morning together. These moments were precious, a reminder of the deep bond you shared and the life you had built together. The garden could wait a little longer, just for now.

Frank finished his breakfast with a satisfied sigh, leaning back in his chair. "That was delicious, as always," he said, his tone sincere. "Thank you."

You smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. "You're welcome, Frank. Now, are you ready to tackle that garden?"

Frank groaned playfully, but there was a twinkle in his eye. "I suppose so. But remember, I’m doing this under protest."

You laughed, standing up and starting to clear the dishes. "Protest noted, Lieutenant General. Now, go and get that garden looking shipshape."

Frank stood up and stretched, a contented smile on his face. "Yes, ma'am," he said with mock seriousness, giving you a playful salute before heading towards the back door.

As you watched him go, you couldn't help but feel a surge of love and gratitude for the man who had always been your partner, your confidant, and your rock. Life had its challenges, but with Frank by your side, you knew you could face anything. And for now, you were content to enjoy these quiet, simple moments together, one day at a time.

Later, Frank pushed the lawnmower across the sprawling green lawn, the sun beating down on him relentlessly. He strained with each step, his back aching and his arms tiring as he maneuvered the heavy machine. Sweat trickled down his forehead, and he mumbled to himself, his baritone voice carrying a mix of grumbling and nostalgia.

"I want a house with a big garden, Frank," he muttered, mimicking your voice with a hint of playful sarcasm. "Something for the kids to play in. It will be good for the kids, Frank." He shook his head, his white hair glinting in the sunlight. "Yeah, good for the kids, but a pain in the arse for me."

Frank paused for a moment, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand. He straightened up, looking around the garden with a mixture of pride and frustration. "You say that because you don’t have to push this damn lawnmower around," he grumbled, his hazel eyes narrowing as he scanned the yard. "Where’s that woman when you need her? Not a single lemonade while I’m out here killing myself under this sun."

He resumed his work, the lawnmower’s roar mingling with his muttered complaints. Despite his grumbling, Frank couldn’t help but smile at the memories of when you were both young and newly married, searching for the perfect place to call home. He remembered your excitement when you found this house, with its big garden and space for the children to play. Back then, the future had seemed so bright and full of promise.

Frank's thoughts drifted to the days when the kids were young, their laughter filling the air as they played tag or kicked a ball around the yard. He remembered the family barbecues, the birthday parties, and the lazy Sunday afternoons spent lounging in the shade of the old oak tree. Those were the days that made all the hard work worth it, even if he did grumble about it now and then.

"Still, would it kill her to bring me a cold drink?" he muttered, his voice carrying a note of affectionate exasperation. He glanced toward the house, half-expecting to see you coming out with a pitcher of lemonade, but the doorway remained empty.

With a resigned sigh, Frank continued pushing the lawnmower, his thoughts a mix of fond memories and playful complaints. As much as he grumbled, he knew deep down that he wouldn’t trade this life for anything. The house, the garden, and the memories you had built together were all part of the life he cherished.

Frank felt the heat bearing down on him as he worked under the relentless sun. With a sigh, he unbuttoned his shirt, hoping to cool down a bit. As he did, he didn’t notice you standing by the window, watching him with a fond smile.

You admired the way Frank had aged, appreciating how he carried his years with dignity and strength. His white hair, now damp with sweat, and his chubby frame gave him a distinguished look that you found incredibly attractive. Biting your lip, you debated whether to take him the lemonade you had prepared or continue enjoying the sight of him working.

He had always been a strong presence in your life, and seeing him out there, shirt partially undone, reminded you of the many reasons you fell in love with him. The way his muscles moved under his skin as he pushed the lawnmower, his baritone voice grumbling about the heat—it all brought a smile to your face.

After a few moments, you decided it was time to give him a break. Grabbing the pitcher of lemonade and a couple of glasses, you headed outside. The cool shade of the porch provided a brief respite from the heat as you approached him.

Frank looked up as you neared, his hazel eyes brightening at the sight of you. “Finally decided to come rescue me, did you?” he teased, a crooked smile playing on his lips.

You handed him a glass of lemonade, your fingers brushing against his. “I thought you could use a break,” you replied, your tone light and teasing. “You look like you’re about to melt out here.”

Frank took a long sip of the lemonade, letting out a satisfied sigh. “You always know just what I need,” he said, his voice warm with appreciation.

You smiled, leaning against the porch railing as you watched him. “I enjoy watching you work,” you admitted, a playful glint in your eyes. “Especially when you start taking your clothes off.”

Frank chuckled, his laughter deep and rich. “Is that so?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe I should take my shirt off more often, then.”

You laughed, shaking your head. “Don’t let it go to your head, Frank. I still expect you to finish the lawn.”

Frank’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he set down his glass. “Yes, ma’am,” he replied, his tone mock-serious. “But I might need a little more motivation.”

You walked over to him, your hands sliding around his waist as you stood on tiptoe to kiss him. “How’s this for motivation?” you whispered against his lips.

Frank’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. “That’ll do just fine,” he murmured, his voice a husky whisper.

After a lingering kiss, you pulled back, your cheeks flushed. “Now, get back to work, Lieutenant General. I expect that grass to be perfect by the time you’re done.”

Frank laughed, a deep, rumbling sound that made your heart swell with love. “Yes, ma’am,” he said again, giving you a playful salute before turning back to the lawnmower.

You turned and shouted over your shoulder, “And don’t look so sexy out here! I don’t want the neighbors admiring my man!”

Frank blushed slightly, a rare sight that always made your heart skip a beat. Even after all these years, he still wasn’t used to your compliments. “You’re the only one who thinks that,” he called back, his tone tinged with a touch of self-deprecation. Despite his authoritative demeanor, Frank always carried a hint of insecurity, never quite believing he was as handsome as you always told him.

You shook your head, smiling fondly. “You’d be surprised, Frank. I’m not the only one who thinks you’re a catch,” you teased, knowing that it would make him blush even more.

Frank laughed softly, his hazel eyes twinkling with amusement. “Well, as long as you’re the one who thinks it, that’s all that matters to me,” he replied, his voice warm.

You watched him for a moment, admiring the way he moved with a quiet confidence, even as he tackled the mundane task of mowing the lawn. Despite his grumbling, Frank had always been a man of action, whether it was on the battlefield or in the garden. It was one of the many reasons you loved him so much.

As Frank resumed mowing, you went back inside, a contented smile on your face. You couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for the life you had built together. Every day with Frank was a gift, filled with laughter, love, and a shared understanding that had grown stronger with each passing year.

Inside the house, you busied yourself with chores, but your mind kept drifting back to Frank. The way he blushed, the way he laughed, the way he always came through for you despite his grumbling—everything about him filled you with a warmth that words couldn’t fully capture. You knew that life wasn’t always easy, but with Frank by your side, you could face anything.

After a while, you decided to bring out another treat for Frank. You grabbed a cold beer from the fridge, knowing he’d appreciate it after working so hard under the hot sun. As you stepped back outside, you saw Frank wiping the sweat from his brow, his shirt now fully unbuttoned. The sight of him, still working diligently despite the heat, made your heart swell with pride and love.

“Hey, Frank,” you called out, holding up the beer. “Thought you might need this.”

Frank looked up, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He stopped the lawnmower and walked over, a grateful smile spreading across his face. “You always know just what I need,” he said, taking the beer from your hand and opening it with a satisfying hiss. He took a long sip, letting out a contented sigh.

“You’re spoiling me today,” he added, his eyes twinkling with affection.

You shrugged playfully. “Just taking care of my favorite man,” you said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “You deserve it.”

Frank’s blush deepened, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close. “Thank you,” he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity. “For everything.”

You smiled, resting your head against his shoulder. “Always, Frank. I love you.”

Frank’s grip tightened slightly, his hazel eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings. “I love you too,” he replied, his voice a tender murmur.

The two of you stood there for a moment, basking in the warmth of the sun and the quiet contentment of being together. In that instant, everything felt perfect. The garden, the house, the life you had built—it was all a testament to your love and commitment to each other.

Finally, Frank gave you a gentle squeeze before letting go. “I’d better finish this up before it gets too hot,” he said, his tone light but determined.

You nodded, giving him an encouraging smile. “I’ll be here when you’re done,” you promised.

As Frank returned to his task, you watched him with a heart full of love and admiration. Despite his grumbling and occasional self-doubt, Frank was the best man you could ever have hoped for. And you knew that together, you could face anything that came your way.

[justatalkingface]

The 'Great' MHA Read Along, Part Five (Chapters 22-44): The Mandatory Exploitive Tournament Arc

Been awhile, huh? Let's see if I can still pull this off. I'm warning you, this is probably going to have a bit of heft to it.

We start off people trying (and failing) to investigate Shigarki and the Villains and, first off, a couple of things. The whole, 'Quirk Registry' shit? Very X-Men. I'm... kinda mixed feelings on it. It makes sense for a government to try and keep track of this kind of shit, but at the same time it feels like a whole lot, you know? That said... the way the guy in the suit phrased it makes it seem like they only searched for 'Shigaraki/Disintegration' and 'Kurogiri/OP warping' pairings, which seems... dumb. Like, really dumb.

Are they.... are they not going to search for anyone with a similar Quirk? Because it sounds like there are other people with similar Quirks, so... what about them? Oh, this pale haired guy who mutters a lot about how horrible heroes are isn't named Shigaraki, so clearly this isn't the guy? Do some ground work or something, man, bloody hell.

*spits out drink*

Even All-Might thinks Shigaraki is a man-child, lol. Brutal. That said... Vlad goes, 'You mean he's just like a kid with a 'power' or something?!'

And I. My dude. You're just some guy with a power. It feels like some depersonalization of the 'villains' because, yeah, everyone in this story is, in fact, just some rando human, 99.9% of the time with super powers. I don't know, it just feels like that's this really concerning perspective for someone in authority to have.

'I keep forgetting this is an actual school!'

That. That's... actually really concerning? Everyone, literally everyone, from Aizawa, to the students, to the actual author, can't seem to figure out if UA is some military academy meant to pump out child soldiers, or an actual high school meant to prepare children to go into society. And not to belabor the point here, one I've talking about on and off again for awhile, but that's fucked up.

I can't help but get the impression that UA (and presumably every other hero academy) is some military complex, setting up the students to live a life where the only way they know how to live is through violence and trying to be famous, but it's just... pretending to have standards, pretending to care for the kids as anything more than the next generation of... idol-police, or something. The way every school related thing is so out of place, the way their grades are so unimportant... it's very telling.

And like. It's not a bad thing, per say. Morally bad, sure, but from a story telling perspective? For a story like this, the way the heroic's school is morally dubious is actually a really good plot point to work off of. But... that's the problem. It never happens.

If the setting was fucked up enough, it'd be understandable if it wasn't explored, but it's not. I feel like there's some fertile ground to talk about... how heroes don't know how to handle living normal lives. How to cook, clean, do taxes, hIstory (which is, of course, very loaded sort of topic in a more dystopian kind of a set up) and so on. There's no way they have the time and energy to do all the thing a normal kid should do at their age, and as they grow up, and get these dangerous, fucked up jobs? There has to be consequences to that.

And the next line later, they bring up, you know, a bunch of terrorists just attacked the school. Which is, in fact, a serious fucking concern! What does Aizawa say?

'No no, we're only doing because we're so sure we have this shit locked down.'

Spoiler alert: They did not, in fact, have this shit locked down. In the least.

My god, this is so fucked up. It's pretty clear that the fact this is still happening is because UA, and heroics as a whole, honestly, is doing a show of force to try and make all the bad things go away. In all honesty, they're putting these kids lives at risk; the only reason nothing went wrong isn't because 'the school had all its ducks in a row when it comes to crisis control' or what the fuck ever, but because AFO didn't want to do anything. And you know why he doesn't interfere?

Because it's so damn useful for him that they flat out broadcast the details of the students and what their Quirks are!

And don't even get me started on this 'Olympics have fallen out of favor' bullshit. It's a world wide event, and it doesn't matter if the population has... shrunk (? That's what my translation says, anyways. Is this honestly saying that so many people died that the Olympics no longer holds any attraction? I mean.. what? What the fuck? What happened???? Why in the hell is this getting brushed over?! Or is that just a bad translation, and if so what is he saying is the reason the Olympics no longer have any appeal?) or whatever, because that's just... bullshit. That's just bullshit. If super powers happen, and they get at all stabilized and regulated like they are in here, all that's going to happen is that the powers are going to be part of the Olympics, and a lower population count really isn't going to change the fundamental reasons why it's popular in the first place.

Speedster racing, various forms of competitive flying (racing (in all its variations), acrobatics, mid-air dancing, synchronized flying.... flight along has dozens of potential new Olympics sports, easy), something like shot-put hurling but with some kind of projectiles, fire, lasers, whatever? Oh yeah, the Olympics are going to be just fine.

So please, Hori, spare me your obsessive need to make heroics the most important thing EVAH all of the time.

But, wait, there's more! It's not just, the new super Olympics, oh no, this is for their careers. In high school. This is, apparenlty, a make or break moment for the rest of their lives (again, with however that undefined heroics ranking and what not works). How old are they? What, fifteen? 'Here, go do bloodsports, and if you fuck up, you're going to be a menial, loser fry-cook of a wannabe police officer, dressed in brightly colored spandex for the rest of your life, barely making any money, and never getting any real respect or validation for putting your life at risk'.

Oh, I have opinions on the Sports Festival, believe me, I have a lot of opinions, but I'd like to save at least some of these more for when the actual Sports Festival starts, and not, like, five pages into the first chapter out of what, twenty two? We've got the time.

Uraraka! You're an actual character! My, this is nostalgic. I always loved the contrast between her hyper cute-zied design of her and the fact she's down to beat the living shit out of someone at the drop of a hat, and it's nice to have that again.

(Also, she's showing more ability to inspire the class here than Bakugou has shown literally the entire series, no matter how much Hori goes on about his 'charisma' or whatever.)

And then we get into her "impure" motivations to be a hero, (which I've also talked about on occasion), and it's very humanizing, both for Uraraka as a character, and the industry as a whole. It's one of those great set ups Hori ended up dropping on world building, which sucks because it'd be so interesting if he got into the nuts and bolts of the world a bit. I'm not saying we need to see the tax code or anything, but for a series that's about corruption and what not, some more detail would really help pull all of this together.

Ah, Dumb Might. I didn't miss you, except I kind of did because Dumb Might is still better than Useless-Side-Character Might.

Also, can I talk about how stupid it is that Dumb Might is burning his less than an hour's worth of time 'teaching' students again? Because holy fuck that's such a waste it's honestly criminal.

And what the hell is this switch in motivations, here? All Might never mentioned, you know, replacing him is the Symbol of Peace before now. Before this point, the whole reason he chose Izuku is that he'd be worthy user of his power, not, what, replacing him. If Izuku never gained any real fame, but still managed to save a lot of people? Before-this-point All Might would have been fine with that. More than that, he would have been proud of it, proud his successor was humble and chose to focus on doing good rather than fame. Hell, not too long ago it was pointing out by All Might that Izuku wouldn't want to use All Might's fame to benefit himself, to go slow and steady and earn his success rather than relying on fame.

Where the fuck did this come from? What the fuck kind of pressure is he trying to put on this kid?

And then right after that, we see flashes of who All Might used to be with the whole 'don't forget how you felt at the seaside park, that day', bit. Because, like, that's good. That's great! It's real, and deep, and gritty, and I'd love it if it wasn't being use with this set up, because those expectations work in other shonens, but they don't work here. Izuku can't do what All Might did, because he can't stop damn hurting himself. Going Plus Ultra, here, now, for this? It could cause real, serious harm to him for the rest of his life! And for what? To make a good impression?

And if something would call him on that, it could still work, because All Might is canonly shit at taking care of himself, that could, like, close the circle for all of this, bring it together with the two them as shit at at self care as a place to build them improving off of, but for whatever reason, Hori never went all the way on that because he was too damn afraid to commit to it, commit to a story, commit to a theme, commit to a moral.

...Holy shit, how many pages is this? We haven't even gotten to actual Sports Festival yet in the post about the damn Sports Festival.

And now we have this creepy, kind of morbid mob of people filling the hallway to stare at Class 1-A for.... being attacked by terrorists.

*what the fuck.jpeg*

What is wrong with you people?! What the actual hell is wrong with you???

And then Shinso rolls up:

"Wow. Look at these arrogant assholes, so excited about not getting killed. I'm going to declare war on them, because they deserve it for getting all high and mighty."

...

You know, I completely forgot about the epic story of, 'Shinso Hitoshi and his Completely Unmerited Persecution Complex'. I'm sad that I remember that now.

Bakugou: "People's opinions don't matter once your at the top."

Me: *looks at how much people's opinions matter to getting to the top, and staying there*

Me: ...Uh.

Thank you, Kaminari, for pointing out his edgy bullshit is, in fact, actually bullshit, and is only going to make his life more difficult for no reason. I like you as an actual person who does things other than cheerlead for Bakugou.

Izuku. Izuku no, Izuku...! Damn it. Bad Izuku. Bad! Stop getting inspired by the festering waste spewing out of Bakugou's mouth!

Cue all of two panels of the media being absolute assholes only out to make ratings with no redeeming features.

And... here's the actual Sports Festival, god knows how long into this post later!

(if you believe the text editor I just posted all of this into? Well into four pages. ...Even with my generous use of spacing, I think I have a problem.)

..Wait. Wait. Where the hell is this happening?

*does five seconds of research on the wiki*

I'm right. They have a stadium for this. Like, a giant ass sports stadium that exists for this. Only for this. That is used once a year.

At this point, I'm honestly wondering why UA isn't just it's own city. Like, Izuku should have moved here, along with the rest of the students, and all the families and various staff needed to run this just.... live on site. It's not like it'd cost them anything, since they apparently have spare cities sitting around for the kids to trash.

That's... that's actually a really interesting idea? Because it'd be a hero run city, then, which feels like it'd work well into the over commercialized, corrupted state heroics is supposed to be like, their overwhelming level of influence. I don't think that's what Hori was going for, to be clear, I think he has no idea just how much space he's causally put on UA's campus and didn't think through the implications... at all.

Ooh, and here comes Todoroki's characterization.

And... here comes the bloodsport, because that's what all of this is: bloodsport. They're throwing a bunch of teenagers onto this stage, broadcast them to the entire country, and have them fight against each other for fame. This society is so fucked up.

Random Gen Ed kid: Yeah, he placed first in the Heroics Entance Exam.

...Yeah. As fucking stupid as it is that Bakugou somehow placed first, it does make sense the person who place first in the Heroics Entrance Exam would be class representative in a school for heroics. Damn, you're salty, kid, but you're also kinda dumb, not going to lie.

Bakugou: *opens his mouth on live TV*

Bakugou: *vomits diarrhea for the entire country to see*

Izuku: ...Wow, Bakugou's so cool! He's grown up and mature now!

...Izuku. Izuku, buddy, please, stop doing this to yourself.

As yet another thing I've mentioned before, a lot of our views on Bakugou comes from Izuku. Izuku who has, from chapter one, all but worshipped Bakugou. Even when he does things wrong, even when he's actively fighting against him, Izuku can't stop himself from going on and on about how great Bakugou is, how cool and tough and determined he is. Izuku's hero worship of his abuser is sheltering Bakugou's actions from the readers, papering over all of his worst traits with a a transparent facade that he's this glorious figure. It's the narrative going the extra mile to cover his arrogant ass, to make him seem like a rival instead of an bully, someone worthy of respect rather than contempt.

Hmm. I don't want to go too much into the nuts and bolts of the event, I think, since I've done that before, so let's try something else: How Many Times Could This Kill A Literal Child? Where I, you guessed it, count how many times a teenager could have been killed, on national television, in this event.

Count one: The start of the race itself, where... *counts how many kids are in 1-A, multiplies by eleven*... two hundred and twenty kids run forward at the same time, trying to force themselves through the same opening. This shit is why it's illegal to shout fire in a theater, because a stampede like this could get someone trampled to death, or maybe crushed by the sheer weight of the crowd (which is something that happens, someone getting killed by the a crowd of unruly people just... squeezing them on accident).

*stares at Shinso being carried around like a wannabe king instead of using his own damn legs judgingly*

Count Two: Mineta gets bitched slapped by a robotic arm bigger than he is. I don't think I have to get into how that could be fatal.

Count Three: The army of Zero Pointers who could easily step on someone.

*Momo wondering about how UA can fund this makes me feel very validated, BTW*

Count Four: Todoroki dumping the Zero Pointer on the rest of the competition to block the way, again for obvious reasons. He obviously doesn't meant to, but this kid isn't even looking back. This is both lamp shaded and then dismissed because it happens to the only two people who could shrug that off, but holy shit that could have killed so many of them.

...The cameras are robots. The cameras are robots with AIs that are cheering on the other robots. I- I can't- what?!?

And then everyone can't stop themselves from praising Bakugou for the radical idea of going over a problem instead of blasting through it. Wow, Bakugou. Amazing. Such brains, such smarts.

Count Five: The Fall. Because there's no way that anyone could get themselves killed by. You know. Falling. If I was more generous, I'd say something like, 'There's probably something down there to catch them if they fall', but I'm not terribly impressed by UA's ability to actually keep these kids safe, so that doesn't make me think they'd have thought that through that much.

Grudgingly, I'm going to give a landmines a pass, because they're explicitly supposed to be non-lethal, and them blowing up didn't do any real damage. Burns, maybe, possibly a broken limb, probably some scars, but this count is about people dying. Izuku's pile could have been, maybe, but that's a level of deliberate action on his part big enough that I can't really blame UA, per say.

Eraserhead, on how 1-A has improved: I didn't do anything.

...Well. At least he's honest.

One other thing: I've said before how bullshit All Might telling Izuku to 'fight to win' was, and right here, here's the proof: All Might explicitly going, "I was afraid you'd be too nice to try and beat other people in competitions, but you proved me wrong! I'm so proud!". You know, fighting to win. Like he later says Izuku doesn't for some mysterious reason *cough*, to make him seem at the same level as Bakugou, *cough*. Poor, poor All Might, yet another victim of Bakugou's narrative warping favoritism.

And here we see the management kids going all out in how to sell Izuku and his brand, which is so very fucked up, for them and the people they're 'selling'. I'm aware this is something that celebrities go through, (which is fucked up for them as well, don't get me wrong; I'm an equal opportunity 'this is fucked up' call out-er), but these kids are in high school. The fact that they're doing this, and getting this done to them, in such numbers, in such an early age... yeah. There's no way this could give them lots and lots of long term stress and psychological problems, right?

Meanwhile, as we get to the offical rankings, I think it's time go back over the 'How Many Times Could This Kill A Literal Child?' count... at five. Five times they could have been killed on complete accident.

That is not a good score.

I'm stopping it here because the other events don't have the same problem, but instead of a whole new problem of delibrately pitting them against each other. On live TV. With minimal supervison. Cementoss popping in at the last second in Izuku vs Todoroki, considering how badly Izuku got hurt in the process, does not fill me with a great sense of these fights being well monitored.

*gets an omake chapter*

*Bakugou gets called Izuku's childhood 'friend'. Bitch, please.*

So. Here's a new point: the million point bullshit is... well. Bullshit. It's the snitch in Quiddich all over again, giving the hero something both super import, with an extra layer of difficulty, to drive up the stress and stakes, only kicked up by a million. Making more than the others makes sense, and making it enough to pass by itself is still pretty reasonable, but making it so excessively much has no point other making Izuku feel isolated from his peers and hunted by his classmates.

Also, Mt Lady going on about how 'great' an exercise the second round is is missing the point that this is literally a thing Japanese kids do in school. Literally, this is a game they're playing with Quirks, not some tactical exercise; it's like saying that playing hide and seek makes you great at hunting people down or something. Again, Hori, dial back your constant need to tell us how great the Sports Festival is. Because it isn't. It really, really isn't.

More doses of everything drooling over how great Bakugou is, and how much of a total shit of a human being he is, joy. Mineta and Shouji's teamup is actually pretty damn brilliant, even though it's tainted by how much of a one-dimensional character Mineta is. Iida is getting shown as Izuku's enemy, but honestly it looks more like he's just trying to improve himself more than anything, while acknowledging how competent Izuku is. Not just that he won the first round, or has a lot points but that Izuku, as a person, is the goal he wants to surpass; there's some good shit there, and pretty validating, if Izuku could allow himself to accept it.

Oh Mei! Mei... actually, I have a post I need to do about the Mei and Izuku dynamic at some point, how they're so designed to work together, but yeah she's fun.

And then Uraraka thinks about how strategic Izuku is being and again, I can't help but contrast this with how things happen later on; even if Izuku never lets himself really feel the respect people have for him, people at this point in time really, honestly seem to respect him, not for his Quirk, but for his brain, his determination, his heroism; it's so well setup for Izuku to stand on his own two feet without OFA and it's some really good stuff. It's a shame Hori gets rid of it.

Hmm. Class B. Class B is... interesting. They're set up as rivals but after this it never goes anywhere, and just leaves us with a bad impression of Monoma, without letting him get a good chance to get past it. I don't like him, honestly, his personality grates at me and he needs to get over himself, but he doesn't deserve the hate he gets from the fandom.

That said, though, the Class A vs Class B victory philosphy is honestly just another example of destroying yourself vs having realistic limits, how All Might and Izuku keep destroying themselves vs everyone else not doing that. The fact Class B is actually thinking ahead is smart, but the series doesn't give them that credit because it's not ambitious enough... even though that runs straight into conflicting with Izuku and his issues.

Hori, fucking commit already. In all honesty, it feels like 1-B should have won over Bakugou and knocked him out of the compition; they planned it out, and played him like a sucker, because he's a bullheaded moron. It's all right there, but right as they win... Eraserhead shows up in the booth and says, 'Yes, you've won, but actually no, because Bakugou need to win anyways. So he is. Because REASONS!' Then All Might gets dragged into that same bullshit just to make it really clear that no, Bakugou is right. Planning? Strategy? That's for losers. Real winners just need to want it hard enough, and no one wants things more than Bakugou!

It would have been better, as a story, and for everyone's character development, if that had happened. Bakugou would have lost to some 'nobodies', Izuku would have gone past him without even validating him with a fight, and Class B and Monoma would have gotten a better chance to show themselves as characters; win win win.

And then Endeavour shows up. Fuck Endeavour. Also that is a man who looks like a serial killer. Dumb Might continues to reign and be completely unable to recognize when someone hates him when he monologues about it right in front of him.

Meanwhile, Bakugou is just... there. For some reason. Why? Why does he need to be there for this? It makes his hissy fit later even worse when you realize he knows why Todoroki doesn't use his fire, and it has literally nothing to do with him. Ignoring him, though, Todoroki and Izuku's moment here is some good stuff, a nice setup for a healthy rivalry based on mutual respect, rather than the toxic mess he has with Bakugou.

Ugh. That cheerleader bullshit. Honestly, it says a lot that they can be told that, 'Aizawa says you need to dress up as cheerleaders', and apparently no one questions this, because of course Aizawa would pull some kind of weird bullshit on them with absolutely no warning at what anyone else would think is the worst possible time.

Midnight being really creepy about how she talks to teenagers, of course, and now... Shinso.

'Consent is for losers' Shinso. 'Everyone is coasting on their Quirks except for me, who only knows how to use my Quirk' Shinso. 'Let me use my Quirk on someone before we even get in the arena so I can blatantly cheat' Shinso. 'No one else has dreams or ambitions' Shinso.

I don't like Shinso. I like the idea of Shinso, sure, but that idea is another one of those paper thing veneers Hori likes to put on his characters, without doing the work to make that match the reality; the only hardship we've seen him go through is his apparent inability to work hard. Like, everyone loves Shinso, in story and out, they can't stop themselves from telling him how great his Quirk is. And you know what? It is. It is a great Quirk.

But Shinso talks like he's had a such a hard time with it, even though he seems to love it, love using it, and the way he acts, like he knows he can go through a career as a hero based only on that Quirk. He's wrong, since he's so out of shape he can't even run, apparently, but he's operating off that assumption at this point, which conflicts with his poor little martyr act.

I want you to look at the iceberg Todoroki makes, and compare it to his efforts against Stain. If he did that against him? That fight would have been over the minute he showed up, and Todoroki ambushed him. This is pretty much our last moments of Todoroki, certified badass, before the nerfs roll in. Savor it, Todoroki fans, because he'll never recover from having to lose against Bakugou.

Another omake, which seems like foreshadowing about Hori deals with women characters: bringing up a good characterization, or valid idea (do women heroes need sexiness to do their jobs?), before throwing it away to fall for the same tropes that he was making a stand against just a minute ago (women getting in a cat fight, which apparently gets really explicit, all of this on a TV before Mineta, Hori's avatar of his own horniness).

Then, as if to prove my point, we get Bakugou vs Uraraka where, like Class B before her, she does everything right, gets the win... and then gets it taken away at the last minute by idiotic bullshit pulled out of nowhere (since when could Bakugou make a blast like that? Why does he need those bomb gauntlets if he can do that?) because Bakugou isn't allowed to lose. And then Eraserhead, Hori's mouthpiece, shouts down the crowd, and us, when we think bad thoughts about it because that isn't allowed either; we need to love Bakugou.

Bakugou respects women! ...Just as much as he respects everyone else. That is to say, he doesn't. Hell, he doesn't respect her enough to think Uraraka planned her own fight! He just gets one line for one second that makes it seem like he respects her, but of course once that moments gone it's back to the normal level of complete disrespect. That's totally character growth right there, one second of acting different before returning right back to standard behavior.

So... Izuku vs Todoroki. I like the fight, it's very dramatic, very cool, but... stop to think about it a second, and about a minute in, Izuku's entire ass hand is broken. That is not OK. Why are they letting it go on? It's simultaneously a great fight, but a seemingly awkward implementation of Izuku having a Quirk, because so much of this arc is built off of him not using a Quirk, not having it. This fight only works with it, though. And it's cool, don't get me wrong, but it's shallow at the same time because of the Quirk, because Izuku has to go Plus Ultra, has to go past his limits. Instead of accepting a more reasonable win, he has to win, period, and he doesn't have the power for that.

There's this awkward conflict here between the story's various narratives, between Izuku needing to suffer, and struggle, and break himself, and his more grounded planning and actions, and you can see Hori's old, better planned out ideas getting replaced with newer, less thought out ones. It's honestly kind of a theme for this arc in it's own right.

Flaws aside, though, the fight is gripping, and it's a great setup for Todoroki, a great starting point in making him an important character, in giving him growth. Shame Hori ends up throwing all that away literally the next fight.

Well, before that happens, let's talk the one two punch of, 1, Izuku having done himself permanent, life long damage, which nobody thought to stop, and 2, the sheer, unmitigated clusterfuck of Recovery Girl going, 'I'm not going to treat wounds like these'.

So. If Izuku breaks anything... well. She's not going to treat that. I guess he has to walk around with a broken finger/hand/arm, without any medical attention whatsoever? Well. I certainly don't see any problems with that.

Then we get Bakugou, who canonly has problems using his Quirk for extended periods of time, outlasting someone by using his Quirk for extended periods of time, before going on to fight someone who uses cold, his canon weakness, and ignoring how it should completely neutralize his Quirk to overpower it, through what I can only call his sheer, narrative warping concentration of favoritism.

On what happens after he wins... I've seen people say that he doesn't mean to attack Todoroki, just try to wake him up, but looking at that scene: he's holding Todoroki's body up with one hand as if to shake him, sure, but it's the other hand that's the problem. The way he's holding it is, for his Quirk, an offensive pose, making it ready to attack his target. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt (against my own opinion) and say it's not proof positive that he was about to attack, but there's no getting around that Bakugou had himself perfectly set up to hit Todoroki, full blast, while he was unconscious. Even if it's the more innocent explanation, that feels like something that should have disqualified him because... that's really concerning. That feels a step away from him threatening victims he thinks should have stood up for themselves or something; it's not heroic, in the slightest. The fact they had to knock him out, presumably for Todoroki's own safety, says enough about how bad that is.

The fact that the ending comment is basiclly lamenting from his perspective, that this 'isn't what he wanted' is... certainly a choice. He won, but, gasp! The person with long held issues in using his full power that long predate him didn't use his full power! The poor baby!

Then we get to the award ceremony where they... chain him up? Why!? If the doesn't want the damn award, don't give it to him; they let those guys earlier give up when they felt they didn't deserve it, why is Bakugou different? It feels like it's Hori tying him up here, against Bakugou's own will, and characterization, to give him that win just so he can win, but also to forcefully set up Bakugou's own importance with the League later. It's ham handed. It's probably child abuse. It's stupid.

It's fucked up all the way down, is what I'm saying.

Then All Might shows up, and fucks up his entrance timing because he's not allowed to win anymore, of course, and then forces that medal on Bakugou.

Uuuugh.

Last couple of panels, though, are pretty nice: we build up Uraraka's character, get the next arc set up, set up Izuku (fucking finally) getting away to use his own damn power, and develop Todoroki a bit.

A nice little cherry on top of the shit sundae.

[worstghost]

No rush but I can wait see reader suffer from ghost teasing. I feel he type to literally walk to quietly and like say boo them and scream murder.

Or better training session this happen and reader holy shit your strong put me down you bully.

https://twitter.com/issamanga5/status/1589775707877801985?t=9BWyflaqwOySIFfVqpb_Pw&s=19

I have returned and I love ghost I love ghost I'm going insane rn. I went kinda crazy with this one and it's not really what the ask wanted but uhh yeah. I'm not gonna deny inspiration when it comes

You're new-to them at least, not new to this dynamic. Your entire career in the military has been spent around men. Men who avoid your gaze, men who pretend like you don't exist, or even worse, are obsessed with you. Men who follow you around and dote on you and act like you're made of glass. You've dealt with your fair share of big, intimidating men who pretend to be small, to be kind and like they're looking out for you.

Hell, even Soap shrinks down when he talks to you. Gets to your eye level as if it's not fucking insulting to be treated like that. You deserved to be here just as much as them, maybe even more so with how hard you've had to work.

That's why Ghost is such a breath of fresh air. He doesn't dote, he doesn't take it easy on you. He expects you to keep up with them, and you do.

It's created this awful need in you to please him, to prove to him that you are what he thinks you are. As much as you try to hide it, you search for his eyes, his approval, when you're training.

And he is always there, always watching you. He looks like an apex predator, head leaned back against the wall, arms crossed so that his biceps squeeze against the sleeves of his shirt. His face doesn't move ever, but his eyes look down through thick blonde lashes, following your every movement as you spar, as you stretch out after a particularly hard session with Soap.

Soap makes snide little comments, asking if he was too rough, if he pushed you too far. It's all in good fun but your blood absolutely boils. You bite your tongue and turn away, stretching your arms above your head and counting to ten, feeling the tension in your muscles release.

Soap finally fucks off, slapping Ghost on the shoulder as he leaves.

"Warmed her up for you, Lt."

Ghost exhales, barely noticeable. Irritated.

You're still on the mat, rolling your ankles and pretending like you're not really fucking sore. You can feel him watching and turn away, squatting down to stretch your hamstrings.

Silently, a shadow falls over you and you startle slightly. How is someone so big, so quiet.

"You could have done better." It's short and gruff, a fact.

You lean your head back, squinting up at him. God he's big. Sitting on the floor barely brings you to his knees.

"Just wanted it to be over I guess." You shrug it off and roll your neck side to side, wincing at the tightness in your shoulders.

His chest rises with a deep inhale, shadow growing as he moves even closer. "If he gets under your skin so much, why not show him?"

"I'm afraid I'd do permanent damage."

Ghost huffs out a laugh and your heart swells, your head cheers, 'You made him laugh, good job!'

It's so stupid, you're embarrassed at your own thoughts.

"Take it out on me then."

That stops your little self aware moment and your eyes jump to his. He's still standing over you, already watching your face, waiting for a falter in your expression.

"I can handle a lot more than him. Show me how mad he makes you." It's a challenge, a little teasing.

You swallow hard. You haven't had the chance to spar with Ghost yet. He's much too big, you know you wouldn't recover easily. And your little crush makes it impossible to be that close to him. But what were you going to do, say no? Worst case is he beats your ass and you can use the ensuing embarrassment to get over him.

You nod and stand up, shaking out the anxiety in your limbs.

"Just don't kill me please, I've still got a lot of life to live." You try to lighten the mood, taking your place at the other side of the mat.

He looks like he's thinking about it, the wrinkles around his eyes a little tighter. A smile maybe?

When you start, you circle with him, trying in vain to determine where he's going with his. With the mask you can't see anything and his eyes never move from yours, no intention of giving anything away. You decide that he won't make the first move, so you do, using your size difference to get under his arm and behind him. You've no doubt that he let you do that.

You exchange shoves, he let's you get in a few punches, but it's mostly a dance. He never makes the first move, he waits for you to come to him every time.

You're wearing yourself out now, and he's not showing an ounce of exhaustion. You're ready to give up, tired and even more frustrated than before you started.

One last fuck it move and you wrap yourself around his side, kicking his knee out from under him. He falls, and for a brief moment you're reveling in your success, but it's cut short when he snatches your arm as he goes, rolling on to his back and pulling you with him.

Ghost has you flat against him, back to his chest, one arm wrapped around your middle and the other threatening your throat.

There's no getting out of this is there?

You dig your fingers in to his forearm and feel him tighten, like a boa. Fuck. You inhale and frantically decide to at least try to struggle, pretend like you didn't give up 20 minutes ago.

You wriggle back and forth, kicking your legs, trying to loosen his grip even slightly. He's way too heavy for you to try to turn him over and his arm pushes your chin up even higher, you can feel his breath on your cheek through the mask, it's heavy and quick.

Is he really winded or is he simply pretending to help your ego.

Swallowing as best you can, you pause and lower your legs between his, feeling his heart pound against your back. Maybe now would be the time to tap out but it doesn't cross your mind. You're overwhelmed with the sensation of his arm squeezing your chest, right under the band of your sports bra, the way he slides the other across your throat until just his fingers touch you, hand covering your entire neck.

You're light-headed, your ears are only filled with the sound of two heartbeats, pounding together in a quick rhythm.

Fuck.

Ghosts knees frame your legs, trying so desperately not to fall completely against him, scared that if you do you'll feel something you're not supposed to. Something you really want to.

His arms relax abruptly and you suck in a breath you didn't know you were holding. He releases you, not subtle in the way his fingers run across your skin.

You roll away and gather yourself on your knees next to him, you're on fire, all you can think about is his hands, his breath, his arms squeezing you to him.

This didn't decompress you like he had wanted. It actually did the opposite. You're so worked up now, head swimming, you don't even stand when he does.

Ghost offers you a hand and you take it, hot and calloused. When he stands you up on shaky legs you stumble, just a little, and he catches you against his side.

"You'll continue to train with me for now. Go clean up. " His voice has something unrecognizable in it, a gruffness to his command.

You don't argue and let him go, making your way out and to the shower in your room.

[justalonelyslytherin]

Legacies | One

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Kazansky!OC

Summary: At the Hard Deck Ana meets up with old and new friends. Dynamics get set before their training is set to start the next day.

Warnings: the usual banter between the daggers, military inaccuracies

Wordcount: 3.8k

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. I don’t allow for my content to be copied, translated, or reposted on other websites/apps. Please don’t steal my work.

A/N: This has been a long time in the making. I've started writing this immediately after I saw TGM for the first time at around July last year. I'm excited and nervous to finally share this with everyone.

Taglist: open, message me or comment to be added, will be put as reblog

Coming back to Top Gun would change many things forever. 

The sun was slowly sinking, inching closer to the water's horizon as the end of the day neared. Surrounded by lights, music, and a lot of different cars parked in front of the premises, the Hard Deck showed no signs of quietening down. As the day ended and the night began, the bar slowly awoke to life.

Being back felt strangely nostalgic as she trudged up the small, sandy path to the front doors. She had spent many nights in this bar while at Top Gun and even before then as a teen accompanying family and friends.

The doors creaked as they swung open, welcoming her in like an old friend. It wasn’t yet too full, the music of the jukebox still audible in between the chatter of customers and the occasional smacks from the pool tables in the back. It smelled like beer and sweat and so much like home. The bar became a second home to pretty much any aviator in their time at Top Gun. 

“Ana?” Looking over to the bar in the middle of the room she spied Penny behind the counter, rag in hand and a smile on her face. It wasn’t the first familiar face she had seen since returning to San Diego but it surely was one of those she was the happiest about. Walking over to the bar, the two women shared an embrace over the counter.

“It’s good to see you again.”

“It is,” she agreed with a nod. “This place has never looked better. I like what you did with it.” That made Penny laugh and pretend to throw the rag at her.

“Are you trying to sweet talk me?” Ana laughed too and shook her head.

“Never.”

“So you are here for the special mission too?”

Raising an eyebrow, she gave a slight nod. “Yeah. How’d you know about that?” Whatever special detachment she had been called back for, the information was top secret. There was no way Penny would be able to know about it. She shouldn’t. Yet the question remained how she did know about it?

Penny glanced over to her left, nodding her head towards the counter. When Ana turned her head to follow, she understood. Maverick. Of course. Penny would know something would be up if he was there too. 

Speaking - or thinking - of the devil, he looked up, as if he had heard them. More likely he had felt their eyes on him. He had always had a good sense for that.

Surprise crossed his face. Turning sideways and resting one arm on the counter she watched Maverick make his way over, just as Penny slipped away to serve some customers further down the bar.

“Teddie.” Holding one hand up, she stopped him from hugging her before he could even think about doing it.

“Hi Mav, it’s good to see you after such a long time. But can we act as if we don’t know each other that well?” She asked, glancing through the room. Maverick stayed still and silent for a moment before he nodded in agreement. Instead of a hug, he patted her on the back with a small smile.

“It’s good to see you, kid. You look good." 

“You do too.” It felt strange to keep a sort of distance between them when all she wanted was to share a hug with him. She hadn’t seen Maverick in person in years. “Even though I’m sure I shouldn’t be so happy to see you back here. Makes me wonder what it means if they called you back too.” 

Then there was that too. Whatever special thing the navy had in plan, calling Maverick back to Top Gun meant the stakes were much higher than she had anticipated. 

Maverick only smiled at that. She knew that smile. The slightly embarrassed and strained one that stood in contrast with the way his eyes glinted with mischief. She knew that one well. So many times she had seen Maverick pull that face, most of the time in her father's company. This time however it felt different. More strained than anything else. She knew Maverick couldn’t tell her anything about it, not that she wanted to either. Whatever it entailed, tomorrow she would be briefed about it.

“I’ll see you around,” she told Mav. He went back to his previous spot and she turned back towards Penny behind the counter. However, someone was faster than her in addressing the bar owner. 

“Penny m’dear. I’ll take another 4, on the old timer.” Hangman, ever so cocky, smiled over the bar at Maverick and tilted the opening of his empty bottle towards the man. It made her roll her eyes. She was well acquainted with Hangman’s antics, but they never not made her eyes roll. Penny glanced over at her briefly before she bent down to grab the new bottles, which was when Hangman noticed her.

“Now look who we got here,” he hollered, “Ghost. Didn’t think I’d see you ever again.” The grin with which he looked at her, gave her the urge to roll her eyes again. She barely held herself back but instead, she reciprocated with a tightlipped smile. 

“Hangman,” she greeted him as well.

“Why don’t you come over with me. The others are at the pool table.” 

Raising an eyebrow she looked past him. Just as he said she could see Rooster, Phoenix, and Payback there. In the corner at the other side of the pool table, she also spied Coyote and Fanboy with what looked like another aviator she didn’t recognize. Everyone was there. It surprised her to see them all together in one place and it made her wonder what the hell that mission was about.

Penny put the opened bottles of beer in front of Hangman before she turned around and put a fifth one in front of Ana. Cocking her head, she motioned for her to go with Hangman. Ana sighed before she grabbed the beer and took a swing. One didn’t argue with Penny and she did want to greet the others. Hangman was still standing at the bar, he had his head tilted to the side and watched her closely.

Pointing her open beer bottle towards him, she instructed: “Lead the way.”

Hangman grabbed the bottles and shot Mav a grin together with a quick “Much appreciated pops,” before he turned around. He marched towards the pool table with a confident stride, only looking back once to make sure she was following him. Ana did, weaving her way around other patrons.

“Ghost is that you?” Phoenix was the first one to spot her. She seemed surprised. Not to see her here but for her to accompany Hangman. The two female fighter pilots shared a hug and a silent conversation before Ana turned toward the others. Rooster was the next to greet her. He immediately pulled her into a hug the second Phoenix had let her go.

“Hey Teds,” he mumbled into her ear.

“Hey Brads. Long time no see. You doing good?” 

“I’m good. When did you get here?”

“This morning. I made a quick detour to visit home before coming here.” She felt him nod against her shoulder before they pulled away. Coyote eyed her from the other side, giving her a short nod to acknowledge her presence before Phoenix pulled her attention away.

“Do you remember Payback and Fanboy?”

“Of course. Hard to forget such charming aviators,” she joked, smiling at the pair of them.

“The sentiment can only be returned,” Fanboy told her with a grin.

“Very flattering of you,” Payback joked, causing her to laugh before she nudged both of them with her elbow. That’s when Phoenix pulled another person along. The man in service khakis she had briefly seen standing by Coyote.

“This is Bob, my new backseater.” The pride in Phoenix's voice made her raise her eyebrow before she examined the man before her. He was tall, had a pair of square glasses on his nose, and looked rather shy. Smiling at him, she held her hand out.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Ghost.” Bob fumbled to take her hand and shake it, stumbling over his reciprocating words before he smiled at her awkwardly. She could see why Phoenix had taken an instant liking to him.

“You know Bob’s giving you a run for your callsign. Be careful,” Payback leaned in and slung an arm over her shoulders, while Ana looked at him in confusion.

“He snuck up on Hangman and Coyote. They didn’t notice him being there the entire time.” Fanboy recounted excitedly how Phoenix had asked them about Bob and how neither had noticed him until then. Her snort of amusement quickly turned into snickering. She looked over at Hangman who was pretending to be busy lining up a shot. The way he glanced over at them, at her, however, told a different story. When their eyes met she raised an eyebrow in amusement and teasing. He held eye contact longer than she thought, the clank of the cue stick hitting the ball finally made them look away.

“Except that’s not why I’m called that.” She turned back towards Payback to correct him.

“No?” Fanboy asked in surprise. Ana shook her head.

“Why are you called Ghost then?” Bob chimed in, she could have sworn he got a little red when everyone looked at him for asking. She cringed thinking back to the story.

“They thought she was an actual ghost because no one outside the Academy seemed to know her,” Phoenix told them with a smirk directed at her. 

Groaning, she shoved Phoenix with one hand, “I told you that in confidentiality.”

“No way that’s true!”

“It is,” she groaned again, glaring at Phoenix even while the corner of her lip twitched upwards, “I was there to learn not to gossip. I had a goal to pass as top of the class so I could become a naval aviator. It was a stupid dick-measuring contest about who might be related to anyone of known name or rank. That’s not what I cared about, so I didn’t bother to answer their questions.” Taking another swig of her bottle she continued. “Because I didn’t talk about my family they assumed I didn’t have one.”

“So no connection equals you being a ghost?” Fanboy asked her, an amused smile on his face. She shrugged her shoulders at that and smiled. They all snickered, drinking from their beers and starting other conversations. 

“Check it out. More Patches.” Ana, like the others, followed Fanboy’s line of vision just in time to see more familiar faces enter the bar. Their path led them directly to the back towards the group.

“That’s Harvard, Yale, Halo, Omaha. Shit, that’s Fritz,” Payback counted everyone. She could only snort in disbelief and shake her head. 

Whatever this mission was, it had to be something important. She had already had a little heads-up from her visit home. Her father had been more serious than she had seen him in a long time. Thinking back to that moment she hadn’t allowed herself to feel nervous. The longer she thought about it now the more a feeling of uncertainty settled in her stomach.

“What the hell kind of mission is this?” Fanboy asked, just in as much disbelief as her. Looking into the faces of the others she could see them realize the extent of this special detachment too.

“That’s not the question we should be asking,” Phoenix spoke up, “Everyone here is the best there is. Who the hell are they gonna get to teach us?” 

If they only knew. She glanced away from the group towards the bar where Maverick still sat. He had to be it. There was no other possibility for him to be back then to train them. He would be their teacher and if the navy had to resort back to Maverick to teach them, they were in for one hell of a mission.

She was glad for the distraction that was the arrival of the others. The greetings and introductions took her mind off the mission. Soon they were all gathered around the pool table with their drinks and sharing conversations. It was then that Yale brought something up that had her paling.

“Have you heard the rumors that one of the Top Gun graduates was secretly Admiral Kazansky’s kid but no one knew because they use a different last name?” 

Her heartbeat quickened and she was glad she hadn’t taken a sip of her beer at that moment, for she would have choked and coughed, earning the attention of everyone. Now she kept quiet and feigned disinterest. Briefly Rooster and her crossed eyes, both of them sharing a knowing glance. 

“Hey Ghost, didn’t you graduate from Top Gun in the same class?” She looked over at Omaha and shrugged her shoulders. 

“I don’t know.” Some of them groaned which made her roll her eyes. Their community was small, rumors traveled fast. Sometimes she hated how gossipy her colleagues could be.

“Guy must’ve been second best if none of us know him. Or even lower ranked,” Harvard threw in, grinning and taking a sip from his beer. All three female aviators in presence halted their movements and fixed their gaze on Harvard. Phoenix raised her eyebrow while Halo glared at him. Similarly, Ana narrowed her eyes at the blonde. 

“Who said it’s a guy?” Halo asked, crossing her arms while she kept glaring at Harvard. He immediately noticed the implication his words had conveyed and started spluttering. They watched him turn bright red trying to apologize.

“I didn’t…I didn’t mean it like that. Come on you know, I ugh, I would never underestimate any of you. I just– I just meant you were the only girl in your class right? So it had to be a dude.”

“Girl? Last time I checked she was a woman,” Rooster threw in.

“A damn fine one at that.” Hangman shot her a wink. She however didn’t give him the satisfaction of reacting. He was a cocky flirt and she surely wouldn’t elevate his ego if she could.

“How about you get us some new drinks to show how sorry you are for saying that.” Phoenix shook her empty beer bottle before she motioned toward Halo. Ana – in a show – emptied her bottle and held it out for Harvard to take. He collected the bottles without a complaint, muttering a small ‘sorry’ once more, and turned towards the bar.

Halo, Phoenix, and her looked at each other, scoffing and shaking their heads.

“Men.”

“You say it.” 

“To free beer for us at least.” They laughed, until their attention turned back to the rest of the group who had dispersed to start up a new game of pool. 

She watched Bob set up the rack and take the first turn. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Hangman weave his way through the other patrons back to the table, the first seconds of a new song playing from the jukebox accompanied him. The bar had steadily become more crowded as the evening rush had set in. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes and feel bad for Bob at the same time as she watched Hangman take the cue from him to take over.

“So, anybody know what this special detachment is all about?” Payback asked, he had sat down at the windows on the other side of the pool table from where Ana was leaning against a mid-height partition, both elbows leaning on top of it.

“No, mission’s a mission. They don’t confront me,” Hangman leaned over the pool table and lined up his cue stick for the shot, “What I want to know: Who’s gotta be team leader?” 

He took the shot without looking at it which was impressive, she had to admit. Not that she would ever tell him that. She looked up at him now as he eyed everyone in the group for a moment. When his eyes landed on Rooster his lip twitched upward the slightest bit.

“And which one of y’all has what it takes to follow me.” Of course, Bradley couldn’t let that sit. He never had been able to when it came to Hangman.

“Hangman, the only place you’ll lead anyone is an early grave.” Her head snapped towards him as she elbowed him into the side, glaring. She knew they didn’t get along but that went even too far for him. Glancing over, the blonde aviator didn’t seem bothered by the comment. At least not upset if the determination and amusement in his eyes were anything to tell. Rooster had shot the ball into his court and Hangman surely wouldn’t bail after one – albeit low – jab. He looked almost excited at the opportunity to shoot back.

Like a predator Hangman strode around the pool table, squeezing by Phoenix until he was in front of Rooster. Ana watched both of them from the side. Two equals staring the other down. If they had been anyone else she would have expected a fistfight to break out.

“Well, anyone who follows you,” Hangman briefly glanced over at her as he leaned against the pool table, cue stick resting in between his legs, “is just gonna run out of fuel. But that’s just you, ain’t it, Rooster?

You’re snug on that perch, waiting for just the right moment…

that never comes.” 

Their stares intensified, she could see Rooster wanting to throw something back at Hangman. Before he could the blonde started to grin and stood up again.

“I love this song.” With that he walked away again, circling back around the pool table to go to Coyote.

“Did you have to push him?” Ana asked Rooster with a sigh just before Phoenix stepped up to him.

“Well, he hasn’t changed.”

“Nope, sure hasn’t.”

“What did you expect?” She asked the two, sharing a look with Phoenix. Rooster simply stepped away from them both. “I don’t think there is anything or anyone that will ever be able to change Hangman.” She glanced over at Hangman, watching him back in his game as if nothing had happened. Briefly, he looked up again and their eyes met. Ana was the first one to look away, back towards Phoenix. They shook their heads and turned back towards the pool table to watch the games.

Suddenly the music cut out. Groans of disappointment filled the room. What was a bar without music? Ana looked up and around. Looked like the jukebox had died. Penny surely would try to fix it if she got a free minute from the bar. Or not, as she saw how full it was.

What caught her eye again was Mav. Furrowing her brows she watched her godfather talk with Penny, something about the look of surprise on his face made her curious. 

“Come on,” Phoenix stepped up to her, one hand on her arm as she motioned towards the piano in a different corner of the bar. Ana briefly looked over to see Rooster sitting in front of it, a couple playful notes sounding through the bar. 

She shook her head, “I’m good,” and waved Phoenix off. Phoenix pulled some of the others with her towards the group but Ana only looked back towards the bar where Maverick had pulled out a wad of cash. She couldn’t exactly tell what Penny said to him but the ring of the bell a moment later was everything she needed for context.

“Oh Mav,” she mumbled with a smile on her lips. Leaning back against the wall she glanced up at the ceiling and thought about everything they had said tonight. About the mission, Kazansky's mystery child, and the squabble between Rooster and Hangman. If the mission was as serious as everything pointed towards it, all of them would have a hard time if they couldn’t get along. Not to say that Hangman made it particularly easy to work with him, hell he didn’t even put any effort into being likable.

She heard the crowd chanting just before the beginnings of Great Balls of Fire resonated through the bar. Quickly everyone joined in on singing the song. Everyone but one she noticed as she dropped her gaze from the ceiling. Over at the pool table, Hangman stood alone, looking rather upset.

Without thinking about it Ana walked over to him, nudging him with her shoulder as she squeezed by and perched herself on the pool table beside him.

“What’s soured your mood so much?” She asked, “You don’t like the song?”

Hangman glanced over, looking her up and down once but staying quiet. It made her smirk. He reminded her of a sulking kid that didn’t get all the attention.

“Or are you jealous Rooster is getting all the attention?” She couldn’t help but joke with him. It made him scoff. Next thing she knew his infamous cocky grin was back on his face. Stepping in front of her, he crowded into her space, going so far as to slot himself in between her legs after he nudged them apart with his knee.

“I’ve got all the attention I need from you, darlin’.” His flirting made her eyes roll once more. Smiling up at him, her eyes slowly trailed over until they zeroed in at the beer in his hand. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be getting her new beer from Harvard anytime soon, if ever this evening.

“Well, you better work hard to keep it then. I’m getting bored very quickly,” she told him. Her fingers wound around his beer, taking it from his pliant fingers. His eyes were burning into her as he watched her take a sip with eager eyes. Slowly licking over her lips to taste even the last drop of beer, she tilted the opening of the bottleneck towards him.

His grin got even brighter. Hangman leaned forward, coming closer. Staring straight into her eyes he wrapped his lips around the opening, taking a sip while she still held the bottle in her hand.

“I know a way or two to keep you occupied. I’m not just a good pilot you should know.” Of course, he had to ruin the moment. Rolling her eyes she nudged him back with her knees, forcing him to retreat until she could slide down from the table.

“Keep dreaming Seresin.” She put the beer down and just as the last tunes of the piano rang out she turned around to leave.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“To bed,” She turned around once more, “We have an early morning tomorrow and I want to be prepared for whatever they are going to want from us.”

[slashingdisneypasta]

Commander Lyle Rourke x SecondLieutenant!Lover!Reader || Drabble

Plot: You're being honourably discharged and Rourke tries to cut you loose like a military man. Clean, swift, easy. He doesn't want to miss you at all.

He tries.

"One day, you'll choke on it." "Goddamnit."

Warnings: Angst and smut mentions. Unedited.

"Calm down. Its not like we were in love, darlin'."

As soon as those unsurprisingly cruel words crawl out of Rourke's mouth, his heavy and measured drawl like a knife to the gut that makes you stop short in your spot. Your eye widen and your lips part and for a moment you cant think of one single word to utter back to him; all you can feel is heartbroken.

Rourke's never surprised, you know that. But he certainly wasn't expecting that look on your face. Because you didn't realise it was anything near love, either- not until he said that. And you felt something in you snap.

His mouth is still tight, a tooth-pick tucked into his teeth and his eyebrows permanently furrowed but you see his fists clench at his sides. That tells you he's not completely unbothered by what's breaking between you two, but in true Rourke-fashion he still doesn't allow it to show. Like nothing bothers him. Sniffling, you look crossly to the side; you think you'd be unable to look at him, without screaming. Surely he cant keep that up forever. He has to break over this. He's going to miss you, you know it.

"I cant even believe... " The words lip out of you at a whisper, before you clear your throat and speak up. "Maybe... maybe we didn't date. You didn't introduce me to anyone with your hand on my back or- or tucking my hair behind my ear. Maybe we ate together over maps and campfires, not at restaurants. And we had to pretend we've never seen each other naked,.. But I've been your second lieutenant for years, and it was something. You know it. And to- to belittle it like that- I just- God- " You have to stop talking. You have to stop. So you hold a hand over your mouth and take a deep breath, closing your eyes and counting to ten. You cant even describe how terrible him saying those words is, you cant put it into words.

After a moment, Rourke gives a put-on sigh, and shrugs. "... Look, sweetheart, you were a good squeeze, don't get me wrong. I'm gonna miss you." Wincing at his disingenuous words, you fight to stay quiet. "But its over, now, alright? You're bein' discharged, which means we aint gonna see each other anymore. Here," Rourke raises his large hand before your eyes, assumedly for you to shake- a small sincere gesture, but its too little and too late. Giving another sniffle, you once again look away; a stubborn and sad look on your face. "Its been nice."

" -its been nice!?" You snap immediately, turning viciously back to him with a fire in your eyes. 2 years of seeing each other every day, going through the motions of everything together and sleeping together-- was 'nice'!?

"Well, yeah." He's still seeming unimpressed; pretending like nothing bothers him, and you're starting to realise that that's not going to change. You cant teach an old dog new tricks.

"Rourke- I- " Finally, you take a deep breath in through your nose; and let it out. You try to let out all your feelings for him, too. Doesn't work too well. "Fine. Deal with this... however you want. If you wanna leave it like this, enjoy. I don't- I don't care." You do, you do, you do, though!- The wobble at your lips gives you away. He definitely sees it, the frown on his mouth getting tighter and the furrow in his brows becoming deeper at the sight. "... But you know what you're giving up. One day, you'll choke on it."

With that, you turn on your heel and storm off, never wanting to see him again. You make it to the door, your fist tight around the doorknob and ready to swing it open them slam it closed again when you hear his voice behind you.

"Goddamnit."

You're fighting against the urge to turn around and find out what that means, fighting to keep going and put him as far behind you as you possibly can, when that choice is taken from you. A large hand wraps around your wrist and you're turned back around manually. You watch him flick the toothpick off to the side and before you know it, Rourke draws you in close and your eyes fall shut out of instinct and he seals his lips with yours in a deep, passionate kiss.

Its a better kiss then you have ever shared before; its not a desperate stolen tongue-kiss because no one else is looking, its not a slow dirty lead-up to sex, its not a peck on the forehead that you pretend didn't happen because it was too close- too soft- too affectionate.

Its a lovers kiss. Neither racing towards a finish nor nervous at all. Just a kiss, between two people who have done it a million times before. It says i love you.

When he pulls back, theirs a huskiness in his voice as he glares at you with his eyes; a gentle contradictory smirk on his mouth an inch away. "... hold on, there. You drive a hard bargain, ex lieutenant, and I gotta give it a think."

[rubykgrant]

It has been 3 years since I had the weird rush of motivation that makes me want to scribble out something FAST, so- WOE, bad MS Paint Comic Be Upon Ye! (I don't have time to draw it good, it just needs to get out of my brain)

I've been rotating thoughts of my RVB story-line, trying to adjust and re-work how certain things happen... I think I've finally got a few things sorted out, and one thing that hit right was my OC Poppy's intro to the characters. She's always been meant to be the new Red Team member (and with white armor, they finally fulfill the prophecy of being the lesbian flag~), but I wanted to make sure she has different interactions with all the others as well. I didn't really have a plan for hos she meets most of the Blues... but as I change the order of other events, it actually worked out for her to meet Tucker first. She's still part of the group of people Sarge has been asked to train (which leads him to finally have a "The military... is actually... BAD" moment. it took him a while, but he got there), but now I've got a scenario in which Sarge tries to get some of the former Freelancers to come by, give people a training session. Wash and Carolina were busy, but hey! Here's Tucker! He knows how to fight like a Freelancer, this is fine. He arrives outside of the main area... and promptly falls down a hill, face-planting in the dirt. Poppy was nearby, so she rushes over to help him up. She doesn't know that THIS is the guy here for the special training, and just talks to him in a friendly, casual way. As much as Tucker likes to show off, he also kind of likes just being able to... have a chill conversation with somebody. When Poppy introduces herself with her first name, he has a brief mental hiccup, because he almost forgot how it works when you meet people and don't care about ranks, or military protocol, or whatever (and he also realizes that she doesn't recognize him for his reputation, he doesn't have the chance to get to know somebody like this very often). So he hesitates a moment before he answers with his first name, Lavernius~

Text reads-

Tucker; OOOF!

Poppy; Woah, dude! You OK?

Tucker; Yeah... fine... just bruised my ego...

Poppy; Here, I'll help you up

Tucker; Thanks

Poppy; Man, you fell, like- ALL the way down the hill. I kept thinking, he'll probably catch himself, but. Nope. You just kept going!

Tucker; It definitely... wasn't the impressive entrance I was hoping to make

Poppy; Don't worry, I don't think anybody else saw. They're all waiting around for that soldier Sarge called in for the "special training". I was only over here to pretend to do vehicle maintenance- I really just wanted to cruise around. My name's Poppy!

Tucker; I'm- Lvaernius

[skadiloki]

Part 1

A/N:Guys I did it! I finally finished the first part of my story. I is proud baby😚. Okay so before you begin reading Ben a.k.a Soldier Boy is a bit OOC I kinda did it on purpose cause we don't really exactly know,at least from the shows standpoint,that he's entirely racist. I feel he's more indifferent towards black people or any person of color as a whole but that's just me. MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING this does contain sexual assault,some bits of sexual harassment and attempted rape so please be aware. I tried not to be too terribly graphic in order not to trigger myself in a sense but reader discretion advised. If anything like this has happened to anyone and I mean ANYONE please don't pull a me,I held it in for months until I finally told my mother,she never believed me cause she yelled at me,called me a liar and then processed to beat me for it but it is what it is,don't do it. Please seek help,I know it's easier said than done but please please please try. Cause it can def mess with your psyche and we don't want that. If it's too much for you to read that part you can scroll past it,it is long so I'm letting you know now,but other than that I hope you enjoy the first part of the story. I worked really hard so please enjoy it as much as you can. Oh,and for obvi reasons I used my tumblr name and not my real one. Happy reading peeps🤗

Words:6,395

(A'ight so I know Leonard is dead in The Boys franchise but let's pretend for a second that he actually lived after Butcher left for the British military and went to America with him at some point after. So right,I know I'm talkin a lot but hear me out. Butcher and the others,others being M.M,Annie,Hughie,and Soldier Boy need some extra help rightrightright with killing Homelander and shit so they go off to Leonard's house for that extra help. 👀👀 Took me mUuUmmfffs to try and come up with something so let's hope this works. Fingers crossed)

*It was Summer,a normal sunny day,perfect breeze,children playing in sprinklers,people barbecuing in their backyards just having the time of their lives like normal folk. Meanwhile Butcher and the others are in the current safehouse at a standstill contemplating their next move and what they should do in trying to take Homelander down for good*

Annie:We've literally tried everything and still haven't taken down Homelander. And we can't have another Herogasm incident.

M.M:If Soldier Boy couldn't take him out there aren't really any more options we can take here Annie.

Annie:My live should be more than enough to help some.

M.M:Yeah but how is that really going to help us take down Homelander in the long run?

Hughie:Maybe we can ask Frenchie to make something that could temporarily take out Homelander?

M.M:With how much time that we have,that'd be cutting it close Hughie.

Soldier Boy:Then how the hell do you figure we take the caped fuck out,huh?

Butcher:I may have an idea.

M.M:Well don't just sit there in silence motherfucker,tell us.

Butcher:I'm not sure it might even work.

Annie:What even is it Butcher?

Butcher:*Stands up from his chair* Come on you lot. We're goin on a trip.

Hughie:A trip to where?

Butcher:For our secret weapon.

Annie:How do you know this weapon will work Butcher?

Butcher:You just gotta trust me love. Come on.

M.M:Butcher,now isn't the time to fucking pussyfoot around the subject. Tell us what we're walking into man.

Butcher:You're just gonna have to trust me on this M.M. I know it don't sound like nothin but it's better than sittin here on our asses like a bunch of clueless cunts twiddling our goddamn thumbs. Just fuckin trust me yeah? We ain't got no more time to lose.

*Butcher leaves the safehouse while the others just sit there*

Annie:Are you sure we should trust him?

M.M:No,but what other choice do we have at this point? We better go before the bastard ends up killing himself.

Soldier Boy:You really think the limey actually has a weapon that can take out that overgrown pussy?

Hughie:He's the best we've got.

Soldier Boy:So the dumb fuck’s leading us to our deaths? Tch,Christ on a cross. How the fuck do we even know that the limey's not just trying to steer us in the wrong direction?

Annie:We don't. Let's just go. Something is better than nothing at this point.

*The four of them get up and leave the safehouse as well to see this so called “Secret weapon” Butcher spoke of. After a solid two hour and some change drive to Syracuse they pull into the driveway of a lovely two story gray home in a pretty chill community*

(Dis da house)

Hughie:This is your secret weapon? A house.

Butcher:It's not the house itself Hughie,it's what's inside the house.

Hughie:Well what's inside the house?

Butcher:You'll find out once we get it.

*He gets out of the car leaving Hughie there to his own thoughts*

Hughie:I've got a bad feeling about this.

*He gets out the car and stands outside along with the others just staring up at the house*

M.M:Are you sure this is the right place Butcher?

Butcher:Of course it is.

Annie:Is the secret weapon the house or something?

Butcher:No. Would you all just shut up,you're doin me head in with all these fuckin questions. Just come on.

Soldier Boy:How do we even know that there actually is a weapon in there strong enough to take out Homelander?

Butcher:For fuck's sake just trust me alright. *He walks up to the front door with the other cautiously behind him as he knocks on it waiting for someone on the other side to open it. A few moments pass by and the door opens revealing a familiar face* Hey Lenny.

Lenny:No. You need to leave,right now.

Butcher:Len please.

Lenny:Absolutely not. Billy you can't be here. You need to leave.

Soldier Boy:Who the fuck is this cocksucker?

Butcher:Oi! Watch it.

Annie:I'm sorry but who is this Butcher?

Butcher:He's my brother Lenny.

Hughie:Wait,you have a brother?

Butcher:Long story. Len,can we just talk,please?

Lenny:No,absolutely not. You can't just show up after all these years and want to talk. Please leave.

M.M:Hold on,hold on,hold on. Butcher. *He grabs his shoulder to slightly pull him back speaking in a quieter tone* Are you telling me that your brother is this secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:No. *Turns back to Lenny* Just gimme a few minutes of your time Len. I won't be long.

Lenny:Why should I even let you waste my time,huh? And for what,for you to run off and do fuck all?

Butcher:Alright now Lenny. I know ain't been in touch with ya in these last few years.

Lenny:No. I don't want to hear the excuses anymore Billy.

Butcher:Len I-

Soldier Boy:Enough of this. *He pushes Butcher aside and walks up to Lenny grabbing him by the collar* Alright now look here you skinny good for nothing pussyass scared bitch. We ain't got the time for your bitching and moaning,we're here for-

*Annie steps in between the three,separating Soldier Boy from Lenny and Butcher gets in his face*

Annie:Whoa,whoa everyone calm down!

Butcher:Put your fuckin hands on ‘im again and I'll fucking kill ya.

Soldier Boy:*Scoffs* Is that so? I'd love to see you fucking try.

Annie:Both of you stop it! This isn't what we're here for. Calm down before you start something you can't finish. I am not willing to put this whole neighborhood in danger because of you two and your dick measuring contest. There are bigger problems here that we need to solve and you both getting hostile and being at each other's throats won't help us get any closer to where we need to be.

M.M:Annie's right,now's not the time and it sure as hell ain't the damn place. *He moves past them,Soldier Boy and Butcher now taking their glare-off off of the front step,while he speaks with Lenny* Look,I don't know what Butcher did to you in the past to ensure your wrath. I'm sure his dumbass deserves it anyway.

Butcher:Hey!

M.M:But whatever the issue may be between the two of you is,we need your help Lenny.

Lenny:Why should I trust you?

M.M:You probably shouldn't but we have no other choice. Lives are at stake here,and we need all the help we can get. We wouldn't have come here if it wasn't a life or death. Thousands if not millions of lives are at risk and we need all the help that we can get. You can help us possibly save the country if you just hear us out,even if it's just a moment. I won't beg,I won't grovel. It's all up to you. If you want us to leave we can,we'll all get back in our cars and we'll head back to New York and you'll never have to see us again. Or you can just give us a few moments of your time to try and help us take down one of the most dangerous superheroes possibly in history.

Lenny:How do I know you'll keep your word?

M.M:You don't but this is all you got.

Lenny:*Sigh* Fine.

M.M:Thank you.

*Lenny steps aside for them to enter the house,watching them file in before shutting the door behind Hughie*

Lenny:I have water if you want something to drink.

Butcher:*Lays a hand on Lenny's shoulder* Thanks Len.

Lenny:Don't get too comfortable Billy. I'm still upset at you. *He brushes Butcher's hand off his shoulder and walks into the kitchen and sits at the table after kindly offering the others water bottles* So why'd you come? What do you want?

Annie:Butcher said something about a s-

Butcher:Where's Skađi?

Lenny:Why?

Butcher:Cause I ain't seen the little tyke since she was a girl.

Lenny:I don't think that's a good idea Billy. Especially how you left things last time.

Hughie:What happened last time?

Butcher:Another story for another time.

Lenny:Didi's not here right now.

Butcher:Where is she?

Lenny:And why is that any of your concern?

M.M:Butcher you're getting off topic here.

Hughie:I thought we were here for this-

Butcher:Do you know where she is?

Lenny:Yes,why? What does she have to do with possibly saving the country or whatever?

M.M:Wait a second. You mentioned something about a “secret weapon” being here Butcher.

Lenny:Secret weapon? What secret weapon?

Soldier Boy:Are you saying we came all this way for nothing?

Butcher:No.

Lenny:*Sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose* Look,I don't know what Billy's been telling you all but there's no secret weapon here. At least none that I know of.

Butcher:Thus my question as to where Skađi is.

Annie:Does this Skadi pe-

Lenny:Skađi,ah sound.

Annie:Sorry. Skadi? Skađi. *Lenny nods* Does she know about it?

Lenny:If she does it's news to me. She still wouldn't like the fact that you're here Billy. You'd be the last bloke she'd ever want to see.

Hughie:Why did something happen?

Lenny:I don't know. *He glares at Butcher and says incredulously* Did something happen William?

Butcher:*Holds his hands up in defense* Alright,alright there's no need for that Len.

M.M:Butcher what the fuck is going on here? Who the hell is Skađi and what's the reason for this whole back and forth thing between you and him?

Butcher:It's funny you mentioned that M.M ca-

*The sound of the front door being unlocked and open catches everyone's attention then the sound of a deepish husky voice (Imma deep voice girly) talking on the phone*

Man,fuck him. Girl if he was willing to cheat on a fine bitch like you then his ass didn't deserve you in the first place. That nigga ain't worth your tears. Trust me,I've been down that road many times. Well the useless crying that is but you get what I mean.

Lenny:*Laughs* Speak of the devil. (Wink wink) *Shouts* Hi Didi.

Hold on. *I pull away from my phone and shout back* Hi dad! *I go back to my conversation* Okay,what were you saying?

*I continue on my way to my room passing by the kitchen*

Annie:Was that her?

Lenny:It was.

Hughie:If she knows where the weapon is then we need her to tell us where it is.

Lenny:Why would she even know where this supposed “secret weapon” is anyway? Putting her in a room with Billy is spellin trouble.

M.M:If it's to help. We'll take what we can.

Lenny:Ehhh~~ I don't think you want that.

Annie:Please Lenny this would mean the world to us if she could help us.

Lenny:*Shrug* Alright don't say I didn't warn ya. Skađi,come here sweetheart.

Just a second!

Lenny:You lot have fun.

*He gets up from his seat and moves to the opposite side of the kitchen*

Soldier Boy:Why the fuck did you move all the way over there?

Lenny:Oh don't mind me.

*Five or so minutes go by and I walk out of my room*

Where ya at my guy?

Lenny:The kitchen.

Guuch. *I make my way into the kitchen* So whatcha ne-

*Upon stepping into the kitchen and making eye contact with Butcher stops me dead in my tracks*

Butcher:Hello love. Look at how you've grown,almost didn't even recognize ya.

*I scoff then start chuckling which turns into loud boisterous cynical laughter*

Hughie:Oh,so she's happy to see you.

Lenny:*Mumbles* I wouldn't say that.

*I place a hand on my chest,standing up straight,and suddenly full back. That obviously makes Annie and M.M jump up to attempt to catch me but a sudden black hole opens up on the floor and I fall into it and that confused the all hell out of them*

M.M:What in the fuck?

Annie:Butcher wh-

*I appear out of nowhere,gun in hand right under Butcher's chin,growling*

Give me one goddamn reason I shouldn't kill you right fucking now?!

*Soldier Boy pulls his gun along with M.M pointing at me and Annie has her hands up with her eyes glowing ready to strike*

Butcher:I know you're angry.

Angry? Oh,I've pushed past the point of anger. Enraged,infuriated,irked,pissed even.

Soldier Boy:You pull that trigger and I blow your brains out dollface. And I'd hate to ruin such a pretty face.

*I raise an eyebrow at him*

Soldier Boy:Your choice.

Sit.

Soldier Boy:*Cocks his gun* The fuck did you say to me?

I said *My voice distorts almost demonically and I look directly at him* Sit.

*Soldier Boy,M.M,and Annie all sit unconsciously against their wills*

Annie:The hell?

(Oof,homegurl almost forgot. You know we out here with the demonic powers as always,I stay the strongest character in mah shit…But anyway there are Bayonetta undertones in here,first time I've ever done that before,excited. Some Dune too cause The Voice,right? And some Jujutsu Kaisen cause why the fuck not. I know it sounds weird but knowin my ass,oh it'll work. I'll stop)

*I look back to Butcher*

I'm still waitin on an answer.

Butcher:Cause we're family.

*Sarcastically* Oh,so we're family now. That's rich.

Hughie:Wait Butcher,who is this girl?

Butcher:Skađi here is my niece.

M.M:She's your what?!

Soldier Boy:There's no fucking way she could be your niece.

Adopted but niece nonetheless. But saying that would be insulting and going against my word. Why the fuck are you here William?

Butcher:We need your help.

Not interested. Fuck off.

Butcher:It's for the greater good love. You can't just say no and fuck off.

Watch me bitch. *I cock the gun in my hand* I'll see your bitchass in the afterlife.

Lenny:Now Skađi.

You know he deserves it dad.

Lenny:I get it but let's just hear him out.

Hear him out? For fuckin what?

Lenny:Said something about a secret weapon?

Secret weapon? What secret fu- *I think for a second then cackle* Oh you arrogant pharisaic son of a bitch! You think you can just come back into our lives after what you've done? *Growl* I will not be used as a weapon!

M.M:She's the secret weapon you were talking about?

Butcher:Yeah,more or less.

Lenny:You were going to use your own niece as a weapon to kill Homelander?! What the hell is wrong with you Billy!

Annie:Wait,you're a Supe?

In the flesh.

Butcher:In my defense

Fuck your defense. That's not a fucking excuse to use someone you called family William. But knowing you I wouldn't put it beneath you.

Butcher:In my defense it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Why cause you're desperate and fucked?

Butcher:That's just putting it lightly.

God,if dad wasn't here I'd shoot you then I'd revive you just to have Avavago eat you alive!

Hughie:Avawhat?

My demonic pet dragon. Avavago.

M.M:I ain't never heard of a Supe with demonic powers before.

Well there's a first for everything. *I put the safety on the gun and pull back from Butcher* You should be grateful you're still alive. Next time you won't be so lucky. I'm going back to my room. Looking at you makes my skin crawl.

Butcher:At least hear me out Di.

No,fuck you and ya life existence.

Butcher:If you don't help us Homelander may kill us all.

Why the fuck should I care?

Butcher:Because you have a heart.

That may be true but that doesn't mean I'd extend my kindness to you after what you did to me. I will never forgive you for what you've done.

M.M:I'm not one to poke in family affairs outside my own but you've got us curious. Just what has Butcher done that makes you hate him so much?

Lenny and I:Why don't you tell them William.

Butcher:Way to gang up on me you two.

Annie:Butcher.

Butcher:Piss off. It ain't none of your business.

Hughie:We have a right to know.

Butcher:And what makes you think I'd tell you cunts about our little family issue,huh?

Annie:Because you were going to use your own niece as a weapon. You owe us that much Butcher.

Butcher:A thing happened at work a few years back.

Oh Jesus,don't sugarcoat it. Tell them the truth or I will. And if I do,they sure as hell ain't gonna like it.

Soldier Boy:Quit being a bitch about it. So he hurt your feelings,you're so goddamn emotional. All women are but this is a whole new fucking level. Christ on a cross,get over it.

“Get over it” he says. *I pull down the neck of my shirt showing off three wounds near my heart* You remember these?

Butcher:*His eyebrows furrow as he sighs heavily* Skađi.

So you do remember. Consider me shocked. I would've thought you repressed that memory into the back of your mind *Venomously* Billy.

Hughie:You shot her?

Annie:But those should've healed,you're a Supe.

I didn't have a grasp on my powers yet so I didn't heal properly. I don't enjoy the memory but I'd rather save my breath. *I fix my shirt then pull out a chair plopping myself in it* Why don't we show them instead,hm? *I,purposely,smack Butcher in the side of the head,grab at what seems to be his temple then pull back bringing a strip of film,revealing a string of memories* Let's go back eleven years.

Hughie:What in the fuck?! How are you doing that?

It's a part of my powers. (It's a One Piece thing. Forgot about that undertone,but it's just this one thing that Pudding is able to do with her Memo Memo devilfruit) *I do the same thing to myself,without the aggressive slapping and handling,and scroll back an entire decade to one specific memory*

Butcher:(The names and memories will be italicized in apostrophes,I prefer it over quotes in things like this don't know why just do. Back to the story) ‘Alright ya little tyke. You stay here and you work on your school work,I got a meeting that'll probably be the death of me.’

*Giggle* ‘I'm sure it won't be that bad Uncle Billy.’

Butcher:‘You keep tellin yourself that love. Just wait until you're old enough to have to deal with these cunts and I bet you won't be saying that.’

‘Dad said you're not allowed to say that around me.’

Butcher:‘Your dad's not here now is he? Keep it a secret and I'll buy you whatever you want.’

‘Whatever I want?’

Butcher:‘Oh yeah. I'll buy you a whole candy store if you want.’

‘Buy me a PS2 and those two nerf guns I want and you've got a deal. Oh! Games included.’

Butcher:*Pinches my cheek* ‘Cheeky little blighter. You be a good girl for me.’

*Bright smile* ‘Okay.’

Butcher:*Chuckles*

Soldier Boy:Looks like some sappy bullshit to me.

Shut up and watch.

*He immediately stops talking and pays attention to the memories. Ten or so minutes pass by,while in Butcher's memory he's still in the meeting,and in mine two large men enter the room making me look up from my work and pause my music*

‘Oh,uh hello.’

Agent:‘Wow,you're prettier than I thought.’

*A bit awkward* ‘Thanks,I guess.’

Agent 2:‘How old are you sweetie?’

*Guarded* ‘Why?’

Agent:‘Just curious. You look maybe 17,18.’

‘No.’

Agent 2:‘You're younger. Who would've thought a sixteen year old would look as beautiful as you. You surely don't look your age sweetheart,certainly not with a body like that you don't.’

*I shift uncomfortably* ‘I think I'm going to…um see Miss Angelica.’ *I start packing my things* ‘Excuse me.’

*As I step from my place and walk towards the door one agent stops me*

Agent:‘Where are you going? We just want to talk.’

*I brush him off of me* ‘Please don't touch me. I need to leave.’

Agent 2:*He harshly grabs my arm* ‘Why rush? The fun's just getting started.’

‘I said get off of me!’

*I tear my arm from his grasp then kick him in the groin then sock him in the face then making a break for the door only for the other agent to grab me by my hair to yank me back*

Agent:‘You little bitch!’

*Scream* ‘Let me go! Uncle Billy!’

Agent 2:*Gets up* ‘Ugh,you little shit. You'll pay for that you fucking whore.’

Agent:*Pulls my head back by my hair and kisses my neck* ‘You taste so good.’

*Begging* ‘Let me go! Please!’

Agent:‘Nuh-uh.’ *Starts groping at me and chuckles evilly* ‘So soft.’

‘Stop it! Get off of me! Somebody he-’

Agent 2:*Grabs me by my face to silence me* ‘Not today sweetheart.’ *Tears my shirt off and licks his lips* ‘We're going to have fun with you.’

*I bite his hand and claw at the other agent's eyes that's holding me and try to make a run for the door. When I open the door and attempt to scream,my head gets hit against the wall to disorient me and I get dragged back and the door gets slammed*

Agent:‘You're a feisty one aren't ya?’ *He takes off his belt and wraps it around my wrists then he takes off his tie to gag me with* ‘We'll definitely have fun with you.’

*I protest against them as they touch and prod at me,putting their filthy hands in places they shouldn't. I try my best to resist but nothing really works,as the tears roll down my cheeks I scream against the makeshift gag in hopes that someone would hear me. This goes on for several moments,moments that feel like an eternity to me,until it didn't. The second agent pulls me down to the edge of the table by my leg and tries to do the unthinkable*

Agent 2:*Groans* ‘All this foreplay has made me hard. I'm betting you can fix that sweetheart.’ *He unfastens his pants and pulls out his cock stroking the hard pulsing flesh moaning at the sensation* ‘I'm going to ruin you for any other man in your life. You'll be begging me to make you cum then just when you've had enough I'll just keep on going until you forget your own fucking name.’

*I fight furiously against the one holding me down but he proves to be too strong. The man standing before me easily tears the fabric of my leggings off followed by my underwear*

Agent 2:‘God you're such a filthy little whore. Sweet little virgins like you,feisty ones especially,deserve punishment. By the time we're done with you,you'll be our perfect little cumslut. All battered,bruised and fucking obedient.’

*Once he gets close enough to attempt to shove his dick inside of me,something in my mind shatters suddenly causing a mysterious,yet gigantic silky black scaled claw to emerge from the floor grabbing the man and pulling him into the abyss*

Agent:*Draws his gun* ‘What in the fuck!’

*He starts firing at the claw but it does nothing. The sound of loud gunfire obviously draws the attention of others,Butcher being a part of them thankfully,or so I thought,bursting into the room just to see the poor man get dragged down into darkness and the claw vanishing as if it never even existed. From seeing my obvious disheveled look both Angelica,the kind lady who often gives me treats when I come in,and another agent who I found out was named Susan rush over to me to untie me and frantically check me of any other injuries I may have obtained*

Angelica:*Holding my face as she turns it in every which direction to check for other injuries* ‘Oh my God. Sweetheart,are you alright?!’

*An endless stream of tears just flow down my cheeks as I sob,speaking brokenly as hiccups and gasps rack my body*

Th-They t-t-tried to-to…r-rape m-m-me. I-I-I-I w-was d-doi-doing…h-h-home…homework wh-when they

Susan:Sh,sh,sh. You're alright now. You're safe. Let's get you something to put on,hm?

*I nod as she takes off her suit jacket to put around my shoulders soothingly rubbing my back to try and calm me from that traumatic event. Butcher,standing there in pure shock at what he just witnessed. He wasn't even sure if he was seeing things or not but his mind was on autopilot when he drew his gun and pulled the trigger,shooting me three times in the heart. Angelica and Susan scream as I hit the floor now bleeding*

Susan:‘Billy what the fuck! What's wrong with you?’

Angelica:‘Who in the fuck shoots their own niece!’

Susan:‘Call an ambulance Angelica,I'll try and stop the bleeding.’

*Angelica nods and gets up to try and run out of the room but Butcher stops her*

Butcher:‘Fuckin leave her.’

Angelica:*She's shocked at first but then her shock turns to anger* ‘You can't be fucking serious! She's dying because you shot her!’

Butcher:‘She's a fucking supe. You saw what she done to that poor cunt.’

Susan:‘Why does that matter Butcher? You saw the state she was in,you fucking heard her they tried to rape her,if anything he and whoever else fucking deserved it!’

Butcher:‘Bullocks! The bastards deserved to have thier asses fired and prosecuted for trying to take advantage of her,right enough,but they didn't deserve whatever the fuck that was.’

Angelica:‘That doesn't fucking matter!’ *She shoves him out of the way* ‘That's not a fucking excuse to shoot her in the fucking heart Billy!’

*She runs out of the room to get paramedics on the phone to take me to the hospital to try and save me. The memories abruptly stop and the film stripes return back to their rightful places. The others are completely left in shock,even Soldier Boy was shocked,and shocking a man like him with his attitude is quite the feat to achieve*

That's when I first discovered my powers. Avavago saved my life.

Annie:That's awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I've had to relive that nightmare for years before I finally went to therapy and healed. But all of a sudden you *I point to Butcher* show up after all these years to try and fucking use me as some trump card to take down that psychotic fuck you call Homelander.

Butcher:Well what else would you have me do Skađi?

*My already ruby red eyes turn a dark shade of crimson as I bare my fangs at him hissing*

I was fucking thirteen! I'd expect you have some fucking decency to see if I was alright! Not shoot me in the fucking chest! Two grown ass men sexually harassed and assaulted me then tried to rape me all because I was a fuckin early bloomer. The fuck kind of sense does that make Butcher! (I was actually a semi-late bloomer and it was actually my half brother who did that to me. The attempted rape part didn't happen but everything else did,not in the way I described it,but it did really happen when I was thirteen…in my grandparents basement) I cried and begged for help. For you to come and save me,yet instead of feeling safe with the presence of you,Angelica and Susan after that disgusting fuck pulled out his gun and fired at Avavago you fucking shot me! The one man whom I thought was family turned his back on me and wanted me dead.

Butcher:You turned into a Supe. You think I-

Lenny:That didn't give you the right to shoot her Billy.

Butcher:Oh come off it. You're the wanker that gave ‘er Compound V. If there's anyone here to blame it's you Lenny for adopting a baby Supe.

Would you rather I have died?

Butcher:I would have preferred Lenny to not adopt a fucking supe. Like are you kidding me?

I was never injected with Compound V as a baby.

Hughie:You were never injected as a baby with Compound V?

Butcher:What a load of shit.

Lenny:She wasn't.

Butcher:*Taken aback but skeptical* There's no fucking way. No cunt that's a Supe would get injected as a teenager. It's never been tested.

Annie:Butcher is right. Injecting a teen with Compound V is unheard of.

I was eight when they did it.

M.M:But why?

I was born with a heart defect. Atrial Septal Defect or ASD for short. (Which is true) I was diagnosed with it at seven months old.

Hughie:What's that? The ASD,I mean.

It's a defect of when the hole in your heart doesn't close over time. When you're born you actually have a small hole in your heart that will close over time as you get older,mine didn't. I was in and out of the hospital a lot for this condition to try and figure out what to do. I was in foster care during the whole thing,sure my mother was still involved at the time when it was all going down but that doesn't matter. (I am not adopted,although I wish I were cause my mother fucking hated me,still does to this day she just never told me then that she did until I was nineteen when she told me she never wanted me in the first place but she chose to keep me anyway. I'll fucking stop cause this is no time to get fucking emotional. -July 31st,2024 3:11am My ass needs to be asleep) I went to the doctors for years trying to figure this out,dad was in the process of adopting me in that time. The solution was to get surgery done to try and fix the issue and that's when the idea of Compound V came into play.

Hughie:Did it work? Was your ASD fixed?

Lenny:No. She still had to go to Detroit in order to get the surgery done. As you saw the V didn't kick in until she was thirteen.

Annie:Wait,do you still have the ASD?

Not technically,no.

Soldier Boy:The fuck is that supposed to mean? How the fuck would that even be possible for you to not technically still have whatever the fuck that is?

Atrial Septal Defect. It's been corrected,I have a small piece of metal where the hole is in my heart. (Which is also very much true) So in a sense I do still have it,it's just been corrected.

Annie:And you're saying you could've died if it wasn't corrected?

Yes. (That's not entirely true,it is a possibility but without it being corrected the person with it can and will live a bit of a harder life because with ASD it causes your heart to skip beats,which is fucking painful by the way especially paired with SVT…another story for another time but back to what I was saying,yes it can be hard living an adult life with an uncorrected ASD but yes you can ultimately die from an untreated hole in the heart in the end)

Annie:That's awful.

I'm alive and that's all that matters.

Butcher:Look,I'm sorry for what I did to you back then okay? But we need your help more than ever.

You're sorry? You're fucking sorry! After you fucking shot me,you never came back! It took you eleven years to come back after that to finally say you're sorry after you shot me and practically left me for dead and disowned me then dad for making a life saving decision. Why the fuck should I forgive you when I have every fucking right to hate you until the day you fucking die?

Butcher:Cause it's the right thing to do.

Oh that's rich coming from yo stankass. Miss me with that bullshit. You're only here cause you want to use me as a weapon. If I didn't have V running in my veins you wouldn't be here right now Butcher.

Butcher:Just help us out on this,yeah,then you and Len don't got to see me no more.

You don't deserve my help. Fuck you. I'm going back to my room.

*I leave the kitchen to walk back to my room*

Butcher:Lenny.

Lenny:She's made her mind. You've outstayed your welcome Billy. You and your friends need to leave.

Annie:There has to be a way to convince you to get her to help us. Please,we need her help.

Lenny:You'll have to convince her. She's the one with the powers.

M.M:How do we get out of the chairs if she practically forced us to sit in them? We're stuck.

Lenny:She did force you true enough but that's not how her powers work exactly.

Hughie:How do you figure?

Lenny:If Di told him *He points to Soldier Boy* to shut up and watch and yet he's able to talk right now. How do you think it works?

M.M:So it's only temporary?

Lenny:*Shrug* I don't know how it works exactly but you're free to move as you please now.

*As if on cue,surprisingly,Soldier Boy gets up to chase after me. Without knowing the layout of the house he easily gets lost,I roll my eyes at the slamming of different doors*

Oh sweet Jesus. *I get up from my bed and open my door,leaning against the door frame* If you're going to look for me the least you could do is at least call out to me instead of slamming every door in the house. It's annoying to hear doors halfway across the house slamming with a mighty boom,shut.

Soldier Boy:*Chuckles* You are much prettier up close and personal. It's hard not to try and control myself in the presence of such a gorgeous woman even as a black woman.

Wow,as if that wasn't the slightest bit microaggressive. What do you want Soldier Boy?

Soldier Boy:You know me?

I've heard of you. Dad spoke of you a few times and I've seen a picture.

Soldier Boy:I ain't gonna sugarcoat it for you sweetheart.

Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Whatever. What happened to you was downright awful. No woman should ever have to go through with that,those pussies were nothing but little boys. A real man would treat his woman with respect even if she was a little girl. A girl's place-

Okay lemme stop you right there. Are you actually going somewhere with this lecture of what,gender role,somewhat potential misogynistic spiel of yours or are you gonna cut to the chase my guy?

Soldier Boy:Well don't you got a smart mouth.

Apologies,afraid that's genetics. Can't help it not that I personally would in this current situation but do continue.

Soldier Boy:I'm surprised no one has smacked that mouth of yours let alone your ass.

And I'm surprised they let a man like you walk the earth with your close minded ideologies. Shouldn't you be in a nursing home,old man?

Soldier Boy:Look ya little piece of shit. We need your help,put your bullshit aside and think about the shit that could happen if that fucker roams free.

Why should I help you? I don't know you like that.

Soldier Boy:If you fucking think for a goddamn second then you'd be putting people in unnecessary danger. Think of that awkward pussy in the kitchen. I don't know how someone like him could adopt someone like you.

First of all that's rude and a tad bit underlyingly racist,second that's my dad and his name is Leonard. Skip to the point gramps.

Soldier Boy:*Groans in slight irritation* Think of it this way dollface-

Again my name is Skađi.

Soldier Boy:Think of it this way. If your…dad,was in danger would you not do something to save him?

Of course I would.

Soldier Boy:Now think about it when you put Homelander in the picture. He'd be putting him in immense danger and that's clearly the last thing you want right?

Yes.

Soldier Boy:Then you can help us with this one thing then you can go the fuck about your life when it's done,alright?

What makes you think I'll accept?

Soldier Boy:You will or you won't,doesn't matter to me but you know good and damn well you wouldn't let anything happen to that Lenny guy and if something did you probably wouldn't be able to live it down. Make the choice sweetie cause we don't have all day.

A/N:Holy fuck that was a shitton of copying and pasting😮‍💨 but that's the end of the first part. Yay! I know you saw a specific word in the story,like I said in the little preview of the story I cuss a lot myself and that word,don't try and argue with me 'bout it cause you'll just get proved wrong,is literally something I say cause it's just so natural to me and I just grew up around people who said it. And cussing can be genetic so there's that. But leave a comment and a like...please🥺 if you want to read more. Share with your friends if you wanna.

@tarjapearce

[wallbeatjournal]

if you had to base a new riverdale season off three movies, which would you choose and why? they could be tonal choices or you can pluck entire elements of the movies and work them in.

ok i broke the rules bc i didn't stick to movies, i went novels and pop culture with it too. and i also kind of embroidered a few references together around each main riff in a way that i think COULD be riverdalian, but these are my 3 selections:

jt leroy (2018). trashy iffy-hot-take kristen stewart/laura dern movie about a very 2000s literary scandal/internet drama run Too Far into irl drama that i think riverdale would know better what to do with. two ideas (this is a jughead plot btw):

put jughead in the dissociated trauma-projecting controlling persona-having laura albert/jt leroy role and rope veronica and reggie and their monetary-business motivations into the scam angle. monica posh savannah knoop stuff and rattling veronica and jughead around in a jar together intensely in a campy way

or step lightly outside the bounds of this script into the real livejournal and myspace based drama of it all and jughead's sometimes-characterization as a guy who needs help unpacking metaphor even though he's swimming in it. make him into one of the many emo band boys (ryan ross?? ryan ross????) who related so so so so sosososo much to the writing of jeremiah terminator and then had a whole crisis when j.t. was unmasked as a middle-aged woman with a metaphorical literary persona.

permissible bonus web-weaves: james frey a million little pieces and oprah, augusten burroughs and running with scissors. we're doing the 2000s obsession with author authenticity is-this-really-autobiographical-if-it's-not-literally-true-or-are-you-shaming-your-family-for-NOTHING questions and scandals. but we're especially doing the emo community freaking the fuck out about blorbo from their novels doing a catfish online to extend the persona just that much further.

the avril lavigne replacement conspiracy theory (linking the wiki even though what i'm REALLY thinking of here is this moving pandemic essay alexander chee my beloved posted that i can't locate now, riffing on themes of feeling like a ghost inhabiting your own life after a major trauma). they can work in some other famous body double / replacement and assassination conspiracies (paul is dead, jfk) too but avril is the main reference and this is a betty plot.

pull in some actual alexander chee images and motifs too maybe, his novels about csa grooming trauma and having complicated feelings about your intimate abusers via like grandiose opera/paris siege metaphors (the queen of the night) and fox demons (edinburgh) betty would eat, i fear, even if they're a step off her normal serial killer media mix. dark betty has the range <3

stephen king's the long walk / suzanne collins' the hunger games / battle royale / state-sponsored brutal murderous game show authority abuse dystopia media homage in general!! especially when it's homoerotic and full of ptsd and institutional abuse, because clearly this is a plot primarily for archie and the lads. imo the long walk ("how bad do you have to hate yourself to join the military" but it's game show horror) and the hunger games ("child stardom is traumatic institutional abuse especially in the era of social media and society simply pretends not to see it" but make it a ya game show adventure) should be the main references, but we could work the academic/art-competition angle of battle royale for kevin. as a treat. ok yeah and maybe work in that arnold schwarzenneger movie the running man too while we're here picking up interwoven motifs at the store. why not!

[derseprinceoftbd]

Okay so here's my big FMA rewrite take:

*Pride* should have been *Sloth*. *Father* should have been *Pride*.

I think it fits; the only genuinely prideful things about Selim, who I always found underwhelming, were his extra levels of loyalty and his belief in the superiority of his species-and not only were both of those not unique among the Homunculi, Sloth would have been an interesting way to view the first.

(Sloth's removal is easy enough; Gluttony can take his place in the Briggs fight, and a military general or, heck, a *resolution* to the horde of zombies *or* chimeras (you know, those ones in like the sewers that May fought like three times) (mini sub-rant; those two should def have been combined into giving the chimera horde Philosopher's Stones, like the zombies were ugly ass MFs in a bad way) could take the place of the Armstrong-Curtis fight. I'm not even entirely talked out of my Olivier idea (that I'm too bad at mobile to link to rn, uh, search the fma tag on my blog IG), she could fight him and Izumi... I'm getting off track.)

(Look; the point is, big guy Sloth is as boring and basic as they come. Even Gluttony says something with his innocence, this guy is just blargh.)

It also fits his sedentary lifestyle, living the simple, un-troubling life of a human, as well as his fighting style and design (he stands there and lets his tentacles do the work, and the shadow seems kind of cribbed, almost lazily (this is not a criticism of the Author/his design, I'm just adding some context behind a hypothetical Selim-Sloth), from his creator).

And let's talk about the creator;

First, it always felt weird that he was called "Father" more than anything else, like he was defined by a set of relationships that he never cared for, instead of anything about him.

Second, that guy was *Prideful as balls*. His actions are like 60% Pride 20% Sloth 20% Lust. I've seen people say that he embodies all the sins, like it's a point that he only pretended to purge them, but some are *demonstrably* bigger motivators for him than others.

And I feel like, honestly, he *straddles the line of being interesting*; if you go into it viewing the story as a philosophical masterpiece, you'll like him a lot, but you can easily hate him. This may be my Menardist "you can literally apply any lens to anything as a positive constructive measure, up to and including false information, as long as you can string together an argument about why it becomes interesting in a new way with that lens" perspective talking (actually, that's easy to say for both of these guys given how their very names are lenses), but I think having that central idea would really push him over the edge and define him.

So... yeah. Selim should have been Sloth, Father should have been Pride, the big guy should have been erased, and the zombies and chimeras should both have been wrapped up at some point.

Interested to hear your thoughts; please comment and RB!

[littlesparklight]

Okay, sorry to drag you back into the topic of gender fuckery of Greek gods. Isn't Dionysus's effeminate nature sort of a late development too, like Apollo's? Almost all the accounts that show him feminine come from Roman works usually after 100 AD. So I'm curious why is it that you said that such depictions of Apollo was not the degree of Dionysus's, (I don't know if that's what you meant. Apologies is not.)? I don't rly care for the "who's the most androgynous" typa argument (because that just doesn't make sense?) but I'm curious if we have evidence for Dionysus' feminine nature dating back to much older times?

Also didn't know long hair wasn't considered that feminine in the earlier times. Good to know!

It was what I meant, because degree of presentation is definitely a thing? Even if, real-life wise, anyone who transgresses even a little will be judged all the same.

But for Dionysos - the youthful Dionysos that is, again (since the one depicted older is not who is imagined here), is a more transgressive character in general. I don't think that's a particularly controversial statement? In the Bacchae, Dionysos presents effeminate. He pretends to be/is presented to be from "the East" ("Phrygian", read Persian, even if that's not correct in terms of locale to how far east we're talking). The stereotype of the (male) "eastern barbarian" was as effeminate, and there is a reason why Dionysos is given this particular background/presentation.

As for the length of the hair, we're talking shoulder length or a little more (mid-shoulder-blades~?), but yeah. The whole thing with Apollo is that he is the youth who hasn't cut his hair yet. (After which it might be grown out again; adult male gods usually do have shoulder length hair.) It's a rite of passage thing. Maybe somewhere between 18-20 for when the hair would be cut? Hard to tell, but ephebic/kouros statues can have short or longer hair, and an Athenian ephebe - talking the "legal" status during military training around 4-3rd century BCE - was 18-20. On vase art you see characters like Paris (or Kephalos and Tithonos), during the Judgement or the events in Sparta, have anywhere from a little past the shoulder-length hair to short. (Or, sometimes, bunched up in a way I can't tell if it's meant to be short or longer hair tied up.) You also have the "long haired Achaeans" epithet in the Iliad. So definitely not a marker of effeminacy just because it was long(er), earlier on.

Sparta is of course the exception; the men kept their hair long. It's why you might encounter in later sources Menelaos being "given" some sort of ~special exception~ by his fellow peers for keeping his hair long, or just in general this being pointed out as weird of him.

[elric-art]

This is what it's like to work at a call center

(Sorry it's lengthy.)

Person #1: Hello?

Ed: Hi, this is Ed from East City HQ, could I speak to—

Person #1: *hangs up*

Ed: Outcome is "pick-up/hang-up: Hung up at the mention of HQ, setting next call for 1 month."

Person #2: This is John, can I ask who's calling?

Ed: Hey John, I'm Ed with East City HQ, how are you doing today?

Person #2: I'm good, how are you?

Ed: I'm doing well, I saw that your last appointment with us was a "no-show", was everything alright?

Person #2: Ah— Yeah... Just dealing with family issues right now... I meant to show up but I have to take care of my sick relatives at home.

Ed: I understand your pain... I could reschedule you another appointment so you don't miss out.

Person #2: That'd be great, thanks.

Ed: What date and time would be good for you—

Person #2: *hangs up*

Ed: Ugh... Outcome is "left message: unable to reschedule, hung-up before I could finish. Setting next call for 2 weeks."

Ed: Keep it together, Ed...

Person #3's VM: I'm sorry but the mailbox for this user has not been set up yet.

Ed: Outcome is "VM not set up. Setting next call for 3 weeks."

Person #4: Hello?

Ed: Hi, could I speak to Melissa?

Person #4: This is Melissa.

Ed: Hi Melissa, this is Ed with East City HQ, how are you doing today?

Person #4: You're with who??

Ed: East City HQ.

Person #4: East what???

Ed: EAST. CITY. HQ. You had an appointment with us yesterday.

Person #4: I think you have the wrong number.

Ed:

Ed: Ok, then do you have Melissa's phone number?

Person #4: *hangs up*

Ed: Of course she hung up... Outcome is "pick-up/hang-up: pretended not to understand what I was saying. Setting next call for 1 month."

Person #5: Hello?

Ed: Is Michael available?

Person #5: Yeah, who is this?

Ed: This is Edward with East City HQ. Don't hang up. We're in critical need of your services.

Person #5, shaken: Uh... w-why does the military need my services...?

Ed: ...I just realized how ominous that sounded... It's nothing to worry about, we just needed you to get some paperwork sorted out over here. How soon can you make it?

Person #5: Oh my goodness hahahaha! I thought I was in trouble or something! Oh wow... yeah-no, that was really creepy!

Ed: I know, I'm sorry hahaha!

Person #5: I can come over tomorrow afternoon.

Ed: Perfect, did you want me to set up an appointment for ya?

Person #5: I think I'll just do a walk-in, it's pretty quiet whenever I pass your building.

Ed: Right, right... We normally recommend making an appointment so you don't have to wait as soon as you get here.

Person #5: Oh, nah, I'll just walk-in.

Ed: Are you sure? The superiors are pretty busy people and in the event that you need to sign other legal documents on the spot they might even need to be around to approve them, it's just to give them the heads-up as well, but you can do a walk-in whenever you want.

Person #5: Well... Ok, put me in for 2 o'clock.

Ed: Sure thing.

Person #5: *hangs up*

Ed: Outcome is "appt tmrw at 2pm. Setting next call for day after if no-show."

Riza: Shift's over, Major. How many appointments did you get in the past 5 hours?

Ed: Just one.

Riza:

Riza: Great work Edward! That's the most we've had today. Keep this up and you'll be promoted to the Auto Team!

Ed: Nice.

[shadesofmauve]

Your comments and tags on the reblogged post about the givens of sci-fi in writing had me cackling. Not because there's anything wrong with your advice (of having a dumbass character) or anything but because of your tags (that Rhi is that dumbass).

The problem here is that while Rhi is absolutely the 'the engine went bad' one, but because the problem for you as the author is that Rhi has an ultra-competent and patient boyfriend who has no qualms about trying to re-explain exactly what went wrong or how 😅

Okay, Elle, when you're that spot on your point has to be shared with the class.

First, 'cuz it might need to be said: Rhi Shepard is smart. Low intelligence is not a requirement for being a Load-bearing Dumbass!

In fact, being smart probably plays into the solution to the problem, because she's not just ignorant of some things, she's aggressively ignorant of them. Because otherwise I WOULD have exactly the problem you mention, where Joker knows all the math so I can't get out of it -- and this is half the reason Rhi is not just bad at math, but has a math aversion. So if he starts she can say "FUCK, NO MATH" and start teasing him about being a nerdy spacer boy.

She lays the dumbass on thick to:

make people cut to the chase (Maybe she could've understood the long explanation, but why should she have to?)

make people underestimate her

give herself a break from being the Big Decision Maker

annoy people named Liara

save the author from having to write details about pretend physics

Having all of these competent nerds around is absolutely a problem, so it's really, really helpful if the ranking officer is someone who says "Spare me the details, what's the upshot?"

(It's also super handy that her experience of her biotics is very primal. I can write about what she feels, not what she's doing or how she's doing it.)

Joker is less of a problem than you'd think. I don't have to think about how he flies the ship; I know he's so good at it that it's an extension of himself, so if I describe what the ship does, we're golden. That's how he's thinking of it! And I can distract him with… basically anything.

But Kaidan is trouble, and Ness is worse. Nerds.

(Ness is useful in that she's the Newcomer, so she can notice things about living on a military spaceship the others don't think about anymore! But then she's also a grad-student in a field that doesn't exist. So. Yeah).

I'm enough of a language geek to get way into how the translators work, but 'what useful thing does she figure out to break this ancient code' kept me spiraling for a while. I had to actually think it was so tragic. In the long run, I'm worrying too much: it's sci-fi fanfic of a game with extra-galactic robosquid, as long as I don't directly rip off Carl Sagan I'm fine, right? But ARGH.

So I wrote the details of one part to show there's really something going on there, and after that...

“This is wonderful,” Liara said. “How did you figure it out?” Ness moved towards the projection, eager to explain. Rhi set the plate down on her bunk and started to back away.  “Don’t even bother trying to explain to her,” Liara said. “Just point me at the things you want shot,” Rhi agreed amiably, and made her escape.

Thank goodness for my load-bearing Commander dumbass.

[billmaher]

Republican Debates

I was taping Club Random last night when the debate was on, but I watched it later, and here are my running thoughts about the #GOPDebate: the striking writers should be worried about AI, because ChatGPT could write the SNL sketch version of this in 2 seconds… Who is that stiff on the end? And Asa Hutchinson?? Yes, that's what we want, the one old white guy in America that looks older than Biden… Vivek cannot stop smiling, and is it my TV, or are his teeth blindingly white?

[[MORE]]

Is that the way to let us know he's the young one?… I hadn't really seen DeSantis speak before, and wow, he is every bit as awful as everyone says - terrible voice, robotic and canned, creepy straight-ahead stare - yikes!…who in real life ever says "thank you for the question"?: 'I'm going out, can I grab anything for you?' 'Thank you for the question: a pack of Luckys'… I need blueblocker glasses for this guy's teeth…the way they all think anyone cares about their cherrypicked brags:

'I'm the only one who lowered taxes with a Democratic senate in a southeastern state' Shut the fuck up…who is this freak Doug Burgum?? He looks like a salesman at a high-end department store. I think he sold me a tuxedo at Neiman Marcus… Thank you, Karen; I'll be sure to tell the manager…Jesus, Pence's hair is whiter than Vivek's teeth!…climate change is a hoax?? Oh Vivek, we all wanna be president but come on man…" We have to tell India and China to stop polluting."

Yeah, nobody ever thought of that…'I had trouble having both my children' TMI!…oh yeah, I think we all know Penny - Around the World Penny, yup"…no, not the Constitution-in-your-pocket thing!…wouldn't it be great if President Burgum foiled an assassination attempt when the bullet hit his pocket Constitution?…THIRTY no-abortion bills you passed, how many ways are there to say 'don't kill it?'…' abortion on demand,' like there's a Drive-Thru out here in Cali: "You want fries with your abortion?…" We need a president from a new generation." - Yes, but who? Who do you have in mind? Are you thinking of anyone in particular? "When a farmer gets sick…" WHAT? What year is this debate taking place? Jesus, he can borrow my cow…Asa is talking about stopping Smash-and-Grabs in the inner city?? "As president I'll stop it!" How? You're gonna go undercover with Richard Greico?…

Christie is brave to call out Trump, but good luck prying this crowd away from him, he is Taylor Swift to these people…I swear they all could switch each other's canned lines and no one would notice…also I don't think anyone would notice or care if Brett Baeir and DeSantis switched bodies, they all look completely interchangeable…" We need someone who fought in the military." But who?? Who do you have in mind, anyone in particular??…

I was wrong, and President Burgum looks like an undertaker… Pence and Vivek are wearing the exact same tie…"I chose the constitution" BOO!!!, oh Republicans, you are scary…I stand by what I told Vivek on Club Random last week: "I find you both disarming and Alarming."…you gotta love how these snakes pretend they don't know how to pronounce Vivek's name. Just in case anyone forgot he's the, um, "foreign-sounding" one - Et Tu Nikki Haley?? Wow, really Nikki, YOU don't know either?…

Vivek wins the battle of 'I'll say the most red meat, fuck the future, get applause and clean up the repercussions later' tactic that works best at Republican debates… this Indian-American on Indian-American violence must end!… What does President Burgum's wife tell him after this is over: 'You won! It wasn't even close'… can we please vote this guy off the island? There is less dignity on this stage than with the most embarrassing first-rounder on American Idol, Sanjaya is Abe Lincoln… I like drugs, but OK, I guess that's a bad one…you guys can call Putin a thug and tell us how he rapes women all night, this is a Republican debate, know your audience: 'Ukraine is far away, we hate Mexicans!'…are we really that convinced that the strands of hair that Asa is pulling from one side of his head to the other side is covering the top?…"I alone got the funding for…" - You did? Awesome! Done! I was gonna vote for Richard Greico's kick-ass partner, but…

President Burgum, if we're just gonna cremate her, why do we need such an expensive coffin?… What is that, wool? It's August, but OK, I get it. They crank the AC in these places… "We don't need a president who's too old or who's too young." Who then?? Who could it be that you mean who's the right age?… "We led the nation in computer science education" - you did?! Well, why didn't you say so at the beginning before Asa joined 21 Jump Street? That's a great accomplishment, maybe President Burgum will make you Secretary of something… I love how in the closing statements, they ordered it from the least likely on up: President Burgum, you're the first, then let's hear from Asa, the other guy with a 0.0% chance… "We need a conservative who has shown he can win in a blue state" - But who? Who do we have like that here today??… "God said to America, I'm not done with you" - really, God says that to people: "I'm done with you? What a little bitch… "I was born in 1985", old WhiteHead next to me has ties older than that, and blah blah 1776, which I think is the year the dude on the end was born… we're so fucked, and Trump wasn't even there.

[talkingpointsusa]

Matt Walsh goes on a bizarre rant about minorities in the construction industry and somehow manages to be both misogynistic and racist simultaneously

The May 8th edition of the Matt Walsh Show was absolutely stupid and infuriating, even by Matt Walsh standards. Apparently he's up in arms about female construction workers now, apparently the fact that Maine is trying to get more women involved in the construction industry is proof that white males are being systematically replaced. If this doesn't sound like bizarre white supremacist ramblings from a complete lunatic, I don't know what does. Lets get into it.

01:54, Matt Walsh: "If you've ever worked in some capacity on procuring a federal government contract than you're familiar with maybe the single most obvious and grotesque form of affirmative action that exists in this country. It's been around for a long time, as far back as Nixon's administration gender and racial affirmative action became mandatory for federal construction projects in the city of Philadelphia."

Naturally, Matt's mad that federal buildings aren't built by a team of white men and white men only. First of all, these kinds of projects aren't even that common. A majority of federal projects are things like post offices or military bases. It's a total non-issue unless you are obsessed with white people getting special treatment like Matt Walsh is.

Secondly, these rules don't just apply to race and gender. They also apply to people with disabilities and even veterans! These groups can include white males so his stupid argument falls apart even in that regard. Naturally, Matt Walsh wouldn't dedicate an entire episode of his show to how hiring veterans is an example of "woke DEI in action" or whatever because then he'd look like a dick to his audience as opposed to his usual form of looking like a dick to everyone but his audience.

Thirdly, even if those two things weren't true, who cares? People who aren't white males are allowed to have jobs in the construction sector. That is unless you're Matt Walsh and your entire point leads to the conclusion that people who aren't white males shouldn't have jobs in the construction sector or really any field because that would mean that we're being ungrateful to white men.

Just to shred the last bit of credibility Matt's argument might have, he's not even historically correct here either. The Philadelphia Plan was a short-lived federal affirmative action plan meant to address the racist hiring practices of the 1960's that lasted from 1967-1970. The bizarre thing about this episode is that Matt's seemingly trying to pretend that this is still in action. Check this out.

02:14, Matt Walsh: "And any federal contractor that hired fewer than 80 percent of the local share of quote 'any race, sex, or ethnic group' risked losing their contract and being barred from working with the federal government entirely. Within a year those requirements applied to contracts with all federal agencies nationwide. As attorney named Michael Toth pointed out recently in the Wall Street Journal, those rules are still in place today half a century later."

So Matt and this guy Michael Toth have found an obscure program from the 1960's that was basically "Hey guys, stop being racist when you hire people" that lasted for all of three years and has suddenly projected this program onto the present. I'm afraid to ask but do these guys want us to go back to what it was like in the 1960's? Oh yeah, of course they do because that's the only way to show gratitude to white males.

02:40, Matt Walsh: "Now the federal government can award no-bid contracts to so-called 'minority owned businesses' in many cases."

This isn't a bad thing, in fact it helps small businesses particularly ones that are economically disadvantaged. Supporting small businesses is something that we should all be doing and the federal government putting incentives in place to help them is an inherently good thing. What we're seeing here is absolutely naked racism.

03:07, Matt Walsh: "Now this is all highly inefficient, it's fraud basically and it's resulted in taxpayers being forced to waste a lot of money. As City Journal reported recently, some government contracts cost nearly 20% more than they would have without these affirmative action programs."

This is funny because a lot of the stuff that Matt Walsh supports such as unnecessarily high military spending and even more unnecessarily high police funding cost the taxpayers infinitely more than affirmative action in the contracting sector ever could.

03:28, Matt Walsh: "Instead of ending this social engineering and simply allowing markets to work without crude demographic manipulation, the Biden Administrations allies in state and local governments are doubling down. They've decided that they know exactly what the demographic makeup of each industry should be and it just so happens that white men aren't wanted in any industry."

This is so ridiculous. As if white men, a group that makes up %52.9 of the construction industry are underrepresented. Matt's essentially devoted this segment to giving a passionate defense for racist hiring practices based on the weak evidence of some program that lasted for three years and "muh taxes". Without these measures in place, we'd be seeing massive amounts of discrimination in the workforce.

No citations for anything he's saying by the way, just feelings and a couple opinion articles from right-wing sources as per usual.

03:51, Matt Walsh: "So I'll start with Maine where this week Democrats have determined that the field of construction, where blacks and hispanics make up nearly 40 percent of the workforce, simply isn't diverse enough somehow. Specifically the governor, Janet Mills, has determined that more women need to be construction workers and therefor Mills has signed an executive order that among other things will use state and federal funding to prioritize construction projects that involve women."

Essentially, this executive order is designed to help women enter the construction industry. This is mainly due to Maine experiencing a shortage of construction workers, something which Matt never acknowledges. Some of the things that it puts in place are the pursuit of grant opportunities to incentivize hiring women in construction and connecting businesses with women studying in the trades.

This is one of the least offensive bills on Earth. It's completely innocent and is really more of a push to help the construction shortage if anything. Matt is really raging about this though.

05:00, Matt Walsh: "We need construction workers, especially women now. Why? Why especially women? And this is odd coming from Janet Mills who spent her college years travelling through Europe and learning French before going into law school and spending the rest of her life in government. What does Janet Mills know about construction exactly?"

This is such a stupid argument. If people in congress could only pass legislation on exactly what they studied in college we'd get absolutely nothing done. Lets think about what the world would look like if Matt's argument had any bearing on it for a second. For starters, we can kiss NASA goodbye because I can't think of any congresspeople who studied aerospace engineering. What do they know about rocket science? No more vaccination programs or bills dedicated to combating cancer, these congresspeople know nothing of immunology and research on cancer.

I don't know if Matt knows this, I hope he does because he's a grown man, but people in government consult experts. Lets flip this around too. Matt's a high school graduate. Lets kick him off the Daily Wire because he has no qualifications.

05:24, Matt Walsh: "Now as always this DEI initiative is a solution in search of a problem."

Except that Maine is going through a construction worker shortage you dimwit. This is absolutely horrendous journalistic work even by Matt's standards. I propose that Matt learns the journalistic practices of "doing a twelve second Google search" and "actually reading about the thing that you're talking about so that you don't look like a stupid dipshit".

06:01, Matt Walsh: "By all accounts, fewer women are in construction for two simple reasons. First, because most women don't want to do construction and second because men are generally much better at it."

Citation needed. Matt never really backs up any of the stuff he's saying with legitimate evidence. I guess he just has a mental link with every woman in America which is how he knows that "most women don't want to do construction". That must come as a shock to the 1,173,000 women currently employed in the construction industry in the United States.

07:29, Matt Walsh: "Men tend to do most of the physically demanding and dangerous jobs everywhere. This is not a privilege that men have but rather a responsibility that they have carried. The takeaway from this shouldn't be that we need more women doing these jobs, it's that men and white men in particular historically, have had a unique and essential role in building and maintaining our civilization."

So, Matt's putting his misogyny and racism eggs in one basket here. Matt literally just admitted that 40 percent of the construction workforce consists of Hispanic and African American workers. Even historically Matt's completely incorrect due to the fact that a majority of our civilization historically was built using the horrific practice of slavery.

What exactly has Matt Walsh contributed to the world by the way? Really stupid easily debunkable commentary that's presentable enough to con people into believing it's gospel.

"Yeah, I'm not saying that I, Matt Walsh, am a hero. BUT civilization was built by white men just like myself so maybe show a little gratitude."

08:01, Matt Walsh: "So rather than this constant drum beat of scolding and lecturing and guilt and resentment, treating the presence of this group as a problem that must be solved that must be solved or a cancer that must be treated, the appropriate attitude is one of appreciation and gratitude."

This must be one of the greatest examples of acting oppressed over nothing in the history of humanity. Matt's essentially saying that he's mad that people are pointing out historical atrocities carried out by white males, such as the aforementioned slavery, and instead wants people to just kiss his ass for the rest of time. It's such a childish attitude to have.

08:18, Matt Walsh: "Men built every building you've ever been in, every bridge you've ever crossed, every road you've ever driven on."

More broad sweeping generalizations. Also, I find it so insane that he doesn't recognize that maybe that's because men have prevented women from building bridges, buildings, and roads. Keep in mind that this is still about legislation designed to address a construction shortage, something which he still hasn't acknowledged. He's acting as if men are being kicked out of construction in Maine which is a bald-faced lie.

09:05, Matt Walsh: "And this same logic applies to race as well, I mean these days of course as noted it's not just white men in the construction industry but historically speaking white men have been uniquely indispensable contributors to western civilization."

Yeah, because white men historically speaking didn't allow anyone of other races and creeds to contribute. I can't believe that this is an adult. Plus, people of other races and sexualities and genders have made massive contributions to our civilization. This is historically ignorant at best and borderline white supremacist at best.

09:48, Matt Walsh: "A sane society would be finding ways to get this group more involved in things given it's incredible track record of success, instead we go the other way."

Did I say borderline white supremacist? Yeah, I meant barely dog-whistling anymore pure unfiltered white supremacist. What Matt is essentially saying here is that white males are inherently superior to every other race and gender just by virtue of being white men. This is mask off for even the Daily Wire.

10:22, Matt Walsh: "It's also happening in the most populated city in the United States. Officials in New York have just proudly announced that they've awarded more than 2 billion dollars in contracts for the purpose of renovating JFK Airport and all of that money has gone to so called MWBE's which is short for minority and women owned business enterprises."

So, supporting small businesses in a region of NYC that's primarily made up of minorities. Got it. Is this the part where I'm supposed to be horrified that they're not just giving all the contracts to whites?

Alright, I'm tired of this segment so for the sake of my sanity lets look at some of the other more humorous stupid crap that Matt Walsh is peddling. We go to Matt's May 7th show where he's attempting to do a little bit of media criticism.

00:00, Matt Walsh: "Well it seems that Star Wars has gone woke, again, for approximately the ten thousandth time Star Wars has been used as a vehicle to push a radical left-wing agenda."

"A radical left-wing agenda", sounds serious. Clearly this is some really serious business that justifies stating that a piece of media pushes a radical left-wing agenda (as someone who works at a right-wing media company by the way, rules for thee and all that).

00:11, Matt Walsh: "A new animated Star Wars television series features a nonbinary Jedi who is nonbinary (sic) with other characters referring to this Jedi as 'them'."

Some character in a TV Show uses they/them pronouns, this is what you're concerning yourself with you complete and utter dimwit?! Dude, Star Wars takes place on a different planet. If any franchise should incorporate nonbinary characters it's Star Wars. Like, how can you look at Chewbacca and Jabba the Hut and go "Yeah, these characters fit into a male/female human gender binary". That aside, who cares? This is such a nonissue that it's not even funny.

By the way, Matt's struggling a little here because it looks like his team forgot to switch out the headline on screen from one displayed in a different segment. Brilliant work.

01:51, Matt Walsh: "In any event, you know I find this line to be pretty funny. She says 'Let them die'. She doesn't care if the nonbinary Jedi dies and yet even as she expresses that level of disdain she still makes sure to respect the pronouns."

Yeah, it's a cartoon Matt. I feel like you might be reading a little too into this all things considered.

Conclusion:

Well that was certainly.....something all right. Like I've said all along on this blog, if anyone displays this level of concern around the "white race" you should really run. Between Matt Walsh and Charlie Kirk it's been a pretty mask off couple of weeks for right-wing media fearmongering about race. Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

Original Videos:

“Ep. 1364 - White Men Deserve Gratitude, Not Demonization.” The Daily Wire

“And yet Another Reason Not to Watch Star Wars.” Rumble.com.

Sources:

“Project Type: Is the Construction Project Private, Public, or Federal?” NCS Credit, 15 Mar. 2021.

U.S. Department of Labor. “Affirmative Action | U.S. Department of Labor.” Dol.gov, 2019.

David Hamilton Golland. “The Philadelphia Plan (1967-1970) •.” Blackpast.org, 26 May 2014.

“Governor Mills Signs Executive Order to Increase Women’s Employment in Maine’s Construction Industry | Office of Governor Janet T. Mills.” Www.maine.gov, 6 May 2024.

Whittle, Patrick. “Maine Has a Workforce Shortage Problem That It Hopes to Resolve with Recently Arrived Immigrants.” AP News, 19 Jan. 2024.