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iaus · 4 months

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okay. i need to like. keep myself distracted until noon so. woe porter write up be upon ye. (feat jace because. well i mean look at me.)

So last time I did a little write up it was just a quick phone typed teehee here's some Jace headcanons but Porter has been fucking bugging me. I have a lot of thought put into this dude, but haven't really... written him much yet. So:

-> He is the Solace equivalent of an army brat. Raised in a military (paladin) family and moved around a lot. This is part of the reason he's really confident in himself because he was actually? Pretty popular? Wherever he went. I have diagnosed him with unfortunately hot his whole life so now he is the way he is.

-> Oldest of *hand wave* siblings (not committing to his family size just yet because I don't want to retcon my own hcs) and this sort of fuels into his rage. He was held to an impossibly high standard (that he was proud to meet! He did hit those goals!) and he was raised very much in a tough love environment, and then his parents slowly loosened up as they had more kids so Porter was really pissed off and angry because he thought his parents were doing a disservice to his little siblings. How are they going to be the best they could be if they're not being pushed? (Porter himself does not engage with this thought on a deeper level.)

-> I think he's somewhat estranged with his family at this point. It's not really a conscious cut off, but more of just we email updates every once in a while and his parents and a few siblings send moonar yulenear (i'm crying i hate typing this out every time) cards. He's that distant uncle who lives with his best friend to some of his siblings' kids. His youngest sibling actually just hates his guts and refuses to talk to him.

-> Yes. He is as confident as he projects, but Jace specifically does something to him. I'll get into that in a bit.

-> He's had a handful of what he counts as serious relationships, but the partners he had always ended up being like. Are we going to get married. Are we ever doing more than this? And Porter was always like. No? Isn't this as good as it gets?

-> I like the idea of him being (a bit) younger than Jace, but I haven't actually got into the nitty gritty of making timelines yet so just know they're nebulously the same age (midlife crisis age).

-> I think I said in my first fic that Porter was Jace's senior by a few years, but I also like the idea of Jace being at Aguefort like 5-ish years when Porter starts teaching. I'm not really committing to either at this point. But, either way I picture him at least in his early 50s by junior year.

-> The teacher Porter respected most at Aguefort was his barbarian teacher who had a very similar teaching approach. It was all about results. If you had to have a bit of tough love to get to your goals? Yeah. You are getting that.

Okay. There's some. Basics for him.

Now. Here's the real reason I wanted to write this teehee.

Porter's deep-seated unhealthy Jace obsession <3

I think Porter is used to actually being pretty popular.

He's not one to get ignored if he shows attention to someone. It's happened once or twice, but he decided that person just wasn't that interesting at all actually.

Jace kind of writes him off when they first meet.

Jace is pleasant (something something obnoxiously friendly) but not pleasant enough for Porter not to pick up a vibe from him. So, while Jace is quietly being like. Unfortunately, I am a stereotype and find the barbarian hot. Porter is like what is this dude's fucking deal.

So, he ends up pursuing Jace. He plays up his charm that he usually doesn't bother with and ends up realizing wow. WOW. He's fucked up I need to know more. And I think a lot of what Porter does that's sweet is him being like. Well. I've been in relationships before and I can recognize a giant ego like my own so I'll go through the motions to keep him coming back so I can keep figuring him out.

(Idiot.)

But. This ends up with Porter figuring out that Jace is like. Scary good with magic and Jace just rolls his eyes like of course. Magic is innate but also I'm just good. And that is catnip for Porter. Here is this arrogant caster who is so sure of himself and ignores me if he doesn't want something from me I need to make him mine. (He's fallen for the trap. He really has. He doesn't see that Jace's ego is huge, but also really fragile.)

Which leads to Jace leaving Porter out of the blue (in his perception). And he is so fucking pissed about it, so he keeps pursuing Jace. (Again. Again. He falls for it. This is what Jace wants.) And they get locked in this horrible, self-fulfilling cycle.

Porter's not used to being left the way Jace leaves him and Jace isn't used to getting chased the way Porter chases him and it's...

So unhealthy.

But god is it everything they both want.

#.txt #okay.#behold. i put way too much thought into this man #wall of iaus typical text

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illiana-mystery · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday

I'm back with another one of these. It's been awhile, hasn't it?

I have two WIPs to share since it's been a minute since an update. Those two WIPs being the upcoming Chapter 6 of A Decent Proposal and Chapter 3 (the last chapter) of One Thumb Down.

Hope you enjoy and read to the end for a sneak peek of a brand new fic!

Taglist: @ghnaim24, @imwithyoutiltheendofthelinebucky, @iobsessoverfictionalmen, @emily-ella-nightshade89, @writingkitten, @crowtoed, @doodleborg

---

A Decent Proposal

After work, Arnold went straight to his local suit shop, J.R. Henry, to look at their assortment of suits and shirts.

He had been a local customer for years, but only had the budget to shop in their clearance section. Luckily, the shop keep, Wallace Henry, didn't mind one bit.

Mr. Wallace, as he was known, saw Arnold as his regular and he loved having him as such. He was much more polite and patient than his other clientele.

So when Arnold walked through those big mahogany doors, Mr. Wallace was quick to greet him, his measuring tape safely secured in hand per usual.

“Arnold,” the older man cheered before he hugged him. Arnold laughed and hugged him back, with a back tap to boot.

“Hello, Mr. Wallace,” he greeted him.

“Well, hello to you too. Long time no see. I've missed having you in.”

“Sorry, life has just been a little crazy for me lately.”

“Oh, you don't say. What's been troubling you?”

“I was recently diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, so it’s been a bit hard to cope with. I'm trying to work around it or with it…whichever is better for me.”

“Damn, that's tough. Sorry to hear that, Arnold. My Lorraine has anxiety disorder too. It used to cripple her, until she got on that new fangled anxiety medication the doctors are shilling now. Maybe you should try that.”

“Thanks, but I'm trying to handle this with meditation and supplements. I'm not really a big medicine guy.”

“Completely understandable. Just a suggestion. Now, what can I help you with today? Need a new suit for a night on the town with the misses?”

He laughed.

“No, no. Nothing like that. I have a big presentation at work and I want to look nice for our new clients.”

And Alondra…mostly for Alondra, but he didn't need to know that.

“Oh, I see. Who's this new client, if you don't mind me asking?”

“Truly Brands. They’re considering dropping Loware to work with us.”

“Really?! They must be under new management because Ernesto Rivera and Marshall Lowe have been fighting over that account for decades. Marshall made a very lucrative deal with Roman True. Why would Truly Brands want to break from Loware?”

“Because Martin Lowe is nothing like his father and is sinking his father's stock shares and reputation with his ridiculous ideas, one being charging Rowena True, daughter of Roman, more for their lackluster software. Meanwhile, Alondra and the rest of Rivaware have strived to make a better, more innovative and cost effective product for our clientele, which is more than tempting to Rowena who is tired of dealing with Martin and his cronies.”

“I see. I always knew it was a bad idea to let Martin take over Loware. I never liked that bastard,” Mr. Wallace huffed, making Arnold snicker. “I'm not surprised that Alondra put you on the account to impress Rowena then.”

“She actually didn't. I reached out to Rowena with a deal that's hard to refuse. She just needs the rest of the board on board with this deal, hence our presentation tomorrow.”

“Wow, well look at you…taking initiative. I'm sure Alondra and Ernesto are very impressed with you.”

He smirked.

“Well, I haven't been the top seller for the past 10 quarters for nothing,” he bragged.

“Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, follow me. We got some new suits on the sale rack,” he droned on before Arnold stopped him.

“Actually, I wanted to look at the regular racks,” he clarified, making Mr. Wallace turn around, eyes wide. “I got a commission check today and I think getting a new suit would be putting it to good use. After all, my dedication to Rivaware is unmatched.”

And his dedication to Alondra, of course.

“Well, alright big spender,” Mr. Wallace teased. “I got some new suits I think you'd like. Since you got this new look going on. Don't think I didn't notice. You look sharp, Mack.”

“Thank you,” he chirped before he followed the old man to the center of the store.

---

One Thumb Down

“Beto, you should go back and check on Neveah. I can finish up here and close up for you,” Juan suggested, as he observed his manager still solemnly looking out the glass doors.

He had just been standing there, with a glazed look in his eye, while he was nervously biting on his thumb.

It was a nervous tick he had since graduating from thumb sucking, per Mama Millie’s manipulation with hot pepper paste as he got older.

Yes, the taste stung, but he learned that just nibbling on his thumb still did the trick without burning his tongue off.

And it did bring him the same comfort. So that's what he was doing now, as his mind kept racing about you.

“No, no. Juan, it's your day off,” he said, still looking out to the horizon behind the front doors. “I hate that I even had to call you.”

“Beto, it's alright. I don't mind. Nev is a great young lady and you were just looking out for her.”

“I should have never let her do a maintenance request,” he moaned, before accidently biting the tip of skin by his thumbnail.

“Fuck,” he hollered, before he groaned. “God, I'm a mess."

“We do crazy things for the ones we love,” Juan responded. “Beto, I know about your little crush on Nev. I know how much she means to you. She reminds you of Gina, huh?”

Bobby paused, before turning around to face the younger man at the front desk.

“What makes you think that?” he curiously asked.

“I remember how you described Gina,” he replied. “Nev is a lot like her, personality wise. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe that sometimes we are gifted ‘angels’ if we do some good in this world. You're a good man, Beto. Maybe, Nev was sent to you by Gina.”

He softly laughed.

“I am starting to believe that actually, Juan. I learned something new about her today.”

“And what's that?”

“She's a Bjork fan…”

“Like Gina,” Juan finished for him. “Let me guess, her favorite album is Post, right?”

Bobby nodded.

“Hmmm, so I guess our theories align and have some truth to them. Nev has been blessed to you by your wife. I mean I believe it. I know how much she cared about your happiness.”

“She did,” Bobby said with a warm smile. “I miss her so much, but I'm glad to have Nev around now. Gina doesn't seem so far away when she's around.”

“So I suppose that's why you let her do the maintenance request? To spend some more time with her?”

“How did you guess?” he jokingly asked, making Juan laugh.

“You're very obvious, Beto,” he chuckled. “But I'm wondering what you're still doing here? Go back to her place and check on her. I know it's eating at you. I know you didn't want to leave her.”

“It's inappropriate for me to like her,” he huffed.

“She won't be your intern forever, Beto. Don't miss your chance. Because between you and me, I think she likes you too.”

Bobby's eyes lit up when he said that.

“You think so?”

“I see how she looks at you…the way you two interact. You two are in love. You're just too shy to see it.”

He smiled, before scratching the back of his head.

“Thanks, Juan. I needed that little talk. But as long as she's my intern, I'd like to just stay friendly. But we'll see what happens when I'm not her boss anymore. Only time can really tell.”

---

Paulie and Dosie - Sneak Peek

(Author's Note: This fic is a genderbent AU. Also, Dosie is reader and her nickname is pronounced doe-she.)

“But now I wonder, were you a theater kid?”

She laughed.

“Yes, I was. Guilty as charged,” she admitted, before she took her first bite of her burger. “I was not good enough to pursue past high school, but I did enjoy it a lot. How about you? Did the acting bug ever bite you?”

You were about to answer her, when you noticed that some of the mayo on the burger began to drip from her lips to her chin.

You wanted to say something, but before you could, she lowered the burger from her face a little and licked it off with her tongue.

Her very long tongue, to clarify.

You felt a little woozy when you finally noticed that too.

Had her tongue always been that long and you just never noticed?

Because now you really wanted to see what that tongue could do.

“Oh, I'm so sorry,” she softly said, with a devious twinkle in her eyes. “I'm such a messy eater. Did I get all the mayo off?”

“Yep,” you swiftly answered, your heart racing in your chest.

She laughed.

“Oh good,” she replied. “And you were right. This veggie burger is really good. The best I've had in a while.”

“Glad you like it,” you moaned, trying to forget what you just saw so your mind could go back to normal, clean thoughts as she began to eat your melt. “And to answer your question, I did do a few shows, but at my local community theater and I stopped in middle school. It just wasn't for me.”

“I see,” she said, before she took another bite of her burger and licked her lips like so.

You were on edge as you saw her do it again, and then you knew she was purposely trying to tease you.

And man, was she hot while doing so.

“Have you ever seen Rocky Picture Horrow Show?”

“Only like every year! I used to go with my ex-girlfriend. Our local theater in Rochester hosted it every year.”

“Well, I've gone every year since college. I go to this off-Broadway theater to see it and it's amazing. Maybe I can take you this year?”

“I would love that!” she chirped, before you both reached for a fry. You both laughed before Pauline gave it to you.

So you paid it forward and dipped it in ketchup before you gave it to her to eat. She grabbed your hand and moved it forward, twirling her tongue around the fry like it was cherry stem before she pulled it into her mouth.

You were quite impressed by her little trick and she smirked when she noticed your reaction.

“If you like that, you'd love what I can do with a cherry stem,” she seductively bragged, before she whispered, “And a clit.”

You nervously laughed again.

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polarisbibliotheque · 3 months

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Survivor's Blood (Leon x Reader) - Chapter 6

Survivor's Blood

Pairing: Leon x Reader

Summary: After Raccoon City, Leon became the only Government agent with that kind of expertise. With relentless training, he was now a Special Agent - again, on his first day in the job. He just didn’t expect to live Raccoon City all over again… Maybe Leon was fated to always have the worst first-days-at-work ever.

Age Restriction: 18+. It’s horror, so expect a lot of graphic violence and blood dripping from this. I mean, VERY GRAPHICAL VIOLENCE. Nothing we haven’t seen on RE, but still. Yee been warned

TRIGGER WARNING: Leon has a slight panic attack on this one, right at the end. Proceed with caution.

Author's Notes: Wow. I just looked at the last post, Chapter 5, I posted LITERALLY one year ago, on June 26. I swear I didn't plan this, life's crazy! Craziness aside, this time we have a slight smaller chapter because I wanted to end it with Leon having a small panic attack from his PTSD the poor guy. I recently watched REC, the Spanish found footage horror movie, and OH GODS, it's AMAZING. LOVED it. Took a little to find the one with original Spanish audio, but totally worth it - if there ever was a Resident Evil movie following the games, it had to be like REC; hence why I came back to writing if after such a long time. Also, I'm now watching the RE4 Remake as a movie - I'm a little sad I don't know any streamers I like in English who have played the game, so I'm watching with no commentary, as I did with RE4 looooong ago 'cause I was too scared of chainsaw man. Maybe I'll get to finish this story soon!

Chapter 6

Hospital Arklay Hill, April 29th, 2001 – 22h13

Leon stared at his watch – glancing at the clock on the wall, you understood why his eyes seemed so restless: on his schedule, you had to be at the school in less than ten minutes.

And that would never happen.

“Is it ok if we run a little late?” You quietly asked him, avoiding the ears of the other survivors. Neither of you wanted them to get desperate.

“Yeah, I planned it with a few minutes for us to breathe in case something went wrong.” Even so, his sigh showed Leon wasn’t too happy with that.

You almost smiled. Such a perfectionist. You could easily see how high his standards were for himself – and how much he wanted to achieve them.

“Well, I’m counting Lickers as something going wrong.” Your answer made him huff a quick smile. “Seriously, those things are awful. What was Umbrella thinking…?”

“They weren’t thinking. Period.” Leon’s words were dry and filled with a bitterness that made you stare back at him. As he checked the shotgun’s ammo for the last time, there was something sharp in his eyes – only Leon knew how everything that happened in Raccoon City affected his life. “Ready to go, partner?”

“Oh, yeah, choco chip.” You had a not so happy smile on your lips as your words dripped sarcasm. Leon couldn’t stop himself from chuckling.

“C’mon, we’re getting out of this. You’ll never have to think about it again.”

You sincerely hoped his words to be true.

“When we open this door, no one comes out. I’m gonna check the corridor and when I tell y/n it’s all ok, you can get out. Understood?”

All survivors agreed with their heads – even if you didn’t agree much on Leon going out on his own, seeing you basically saved his life, killing a Licker point blank.

You would do it again if you had to.

Leon silently opened the door, leaving the shotgun hanging on his back. You had no idea why he didn’t have it ready on his hands, but you weren’t a trained agent like him. He didn’t fully close the door so it wouldn’t click and you held it on place – your head almost glued to the wood, trying to hear any kind of noise going on the other side.

“What if he dies out there…?” Valerie’s whisper was almost as silent as a needle dropping on the floor – but those words were as deadly as a nuclear bomb.

Up until that moment, you hadn’t stopped to think about that – and, to be fair, you hadn’t had the chance to think. Everything was chaos and the only thing you were supposed to do was keep going, keep moving to survive that hellish night. But Valerie’s words had reason: what would you all do if Leon, the only one trained and seasoned enough to get through it, died right then and there? What would you do if a Licker shredded him to pieces and decided to wait for you all to come out so you would have the same fate?

If Leon didn’t survive, you probably wouldn’t survive – it was simple as that. But something else hurt in that thought… Yes, you had just met him, but not having him around seemed… Empty. Unfair.

He couldn’t die. Leon wouldn’t die. You would make sure of that – after all, you had fearlessly killed a Licker in the heat of the moment to make sure Leon would keep walking by your side. And you would get out of that damned city together, that was the only certainty you allowed in your heart.

Not wanting to make any noise, you held Valerie’s hand, lightly reassuring the woman everything was going to be alright. She turned her eyes to you, taking a deep breath upon seeing you so calm and sure – still trying to hear whatever was going on outside.

In that situation, though, a few seconds dragged themselves like a whole eternity. You were probably holding your breath, you weren’t really paying attention to that at the moment, when you heard a light scratching on the door.

“Clear.” Leon’s voice was but a murmur, one only you could hear, but it was enough.

You signaled the other survivors to leave the room: the man in the lab coat went first, followed by a father and his teenage son, an elderly woman and finally Valerie. You kept your gun ready in your hands, leaving the room with the door open – if one of those creatures tried to follow from the depths of the corridor, the door could perhaps distract it.

Leon signaled you to take the lead, keeping the shotgun locked and loaded as the scared group followed you towards the door – wincing as soon as they saw the Licker, covering their mouths so they wouldn’t scream in horror. Valerie aided the elderly woman while the lab coat man only rolled his eyes. The father, helped his son walk straight, as the boy was wearing hospital clothes. Leon watched everything carefully at the back of the group – also making sure he was listening carefully.

He had seen survivor’s groups like those – he had talked to Jill and Carlos about their many missions, he had conversations with Chris about his S.T.A.R.S assignments, and he had heard a story or two from Claire. Lab coat man obviously thought everyone was a hinderance, so Leon would keep a sharp eye on him as well: those kinds of people wouldn’t flinch at the chance of sacrificing someone else to save their own skin.

And even if Leon despised those types, he would save that guys’ ass because of his own set of moral values – not because the guy was actually worth something.

As soon as you reached the dead Licker on the floor, you raised your right hand so the group came to a halt – making Leon smirk in the process. You were proving to be quite a surprise and, if he was going to be honest, a very welcome one.

Quietly kicking the Licker aside, you forced the door open one more time – using your stealthier skills as to not make any noise at it. Holding the gun with one hand, you looked back at Leon and, as he nodded, you nodded back, pushing the rest of the door and holding it open with one of your feet, immediately pointing the gun at the corridor you had first seen that horrid creature.

You quickly pointed at one side, then at the other – checking it twice just to make sure. It was empty, quiet, like a forgotten tomb reeking of blood and decay. You furrowed your brows as something immediately came to your mind: what if there were other survivor’s hidden at the hospital who weren’t as lucky as those with you to have an old radio and ask for help? They would be left there to die – and you were right there.

You didn’t have time to search the place with Leon, though. Even if you wanted to, your heart desperately screaming you should delve in deeper and help those who couldn’t help themselves, you couldn’t. You had to save those you were able to save. You had to turn around and never look back.

Shaking your head quickly, you held the door open so the group could continue forward. Leon noticed something was wrong – as you stared at a bloodstain on the floor with an empty yet uncomfortable expression. He had to tap you on the shoulder so you would snap out of it, looking back into his grayish sea eyes, and finding them with a question inside.

You could almost hear him saying ‘are you ok?’ – which seemed to be something you would ask each other infinitely that night.

You nodded back, quietly closing the door and taking the lead once again. You made sure to guide the group through the safest patches of floor – those that weren’t slippery with blood or that weren’t filled with broken things that when stepped on could make a horrible noise. Keeping that pace, you would reach the door in no time.

As the group kept going, Leon’s steps got slower. Something crept from the bowels of the Hospital to cling into his heart; something wasn’t right. He kept walking slowly, trying to figure out that feeling at the base of his stomach – but you were almost there. By crossing the sterile white doors, you would get to the waiting room, then the main hall, and then out.

Leon halted completely when he heard something. Looking back at you and the survivor’s group, it seemed like he was the only one who had heard it. Leon immediately turned his head to the other end of the corridor – covered in complete darkness, looking like an endless descent into hell itself.

The noise came with a gentle gust of cold wind, sounding like a faint breath from something inhuman. As if the Hospital itself was breathing – slowly, ominously… Hungrily. Leon could swear he heard very distant groans and things being knocked out of their place, echoing through the halls and corridors, to almost fail at reaching his ears.

But if there was something he learned at the RPD that fateful night, that would be listening. He survived through carefully hearing and identifying how to choose a slightly safer path that night.

As you reached the white double door, you looked back to check on Leon – only to find him standing at a certain distance from the group, gripping the shotgun with both hands in front of his body, looking back inside the Hospital.

You almost let out an audible sigh. There was no way you could know what he was thinking without speaking to him, but watching Leon looking back made your heart stir with a violent desire of going even deeper into that hell to search for other survivors. There was no way a place as big as that would have only five people alive – and you couldn’t even imagine how harrowing it would be to survive only to be left to die in there, unable to save yourself.

“Leon…?” You risked a murmur, barely noticing how the other survivors watched you both with expectation – and uneasiness. “Leon…!”

As you slightly raised your voice, Leon seemed to snap out of it and look back at you. The worry in his grayish sea eyes was different than the one that resided in yours – making him wonder even more what in the hell was haunting you since you got out from that room. You signaled the double door with your head and he agreed, quickly – but quietly – regrouping.

That alleviated a little bit of the tension on the group – and, as you carefully opened the white door, they had no fear because Leon was on the back giving you cover. Just like before, you stepped in the waiting room first, checking every corner with your gun before holding the door open for the other survivors to come through.

The father told his son not to look at the dead bodies you and Leon had shot before. Valerie did her best to help the elderly woman to cross the path without falling. Lab coat man kept rolling his eyes and fidgeting, almost pushing the father and the son out of his way to reach the exit first – being blocked by you as soon as you reached the milky glass door.

“C’mon. Let’s get out of this fucking place already.”

“You wanna go first and risk being eaten by one of those things? Be my guest.” You waved at the door, staring at him without a single drop of patience left in your body. Leon had already been rude with the man before, so you took the chance to do that too. No one would tell you off if you did so – in a matter of fact, you were probably saying what everyone wanted to say. “Things aren’t much better out there than in here, you know.”

The man looked like he had just eaten a full slice of lemon and was tasting the consequences. If you weren’t in that situation, Leon would’ve probably laughed.

As the milky glass door jammed once more, you looked back at Leon only to see him nodding: you could go to the other room, he would cover you and protect the survivors. Pointing the gun in the air once more, you squeezed through, ready to shoot anything that might have come in during your stay in the Hospital.

And once more, Leon looked back – to the double white doors you had just left behind. Did he hear a… Stomp?

His heart trembled inside his chest. Suddenly, it seemed like the entire Hospital didn’t have enough air for him to breathe. Leon furrowed his brows as his heartbeat got faster. It couldn’t be. That Tyrant, at least that’s what he was told that thing was called, couldn’t be back. He had killed it, blown it into oblivion with a missile launcher – Leon watched as the only thing that was left from that Tyrant were its legs; tearing it in half being the only way to make it stop following Leon around.

For years after he left Raccoon Leon kept dreaming about that. Constant nightmares with that Tyrant following him, sucker punching him every time they met and Leon wasn’t quick enough to run away. It felt like his whole body was broken, but he couldn’t stop running, could he? Even if his bones turned into mush, Leon had to keep running – or he would have never left Raccoon City.

Even now, there were some nights Leon woke up with the sound of those steps viciously approaching him in his nightmares – only to have him open his eyes on his bed, sweating like a pig, barely being able to breathe. He could’ve escaped and killed the creature, but he couldn’t escape meeting it in his dreams when his mind was particularly unstable.

And he could swear he was hearing those stomps, right there in that Hospital, echoing like a ghost coming back from his past to haunt him in the present.

“Leon…?” It was Valerie’s voice that tired to pull him out this time. She carefully tried to touch one of his arms, knowing very well it wasn’t the smartest of choices, given the fact he was holding a gun. But Leon closed his eyes, trying to take deep breaths – Valerie was used to seeing panic attacks and that was the beginning of one. And her rescuer having a panic attack was definitely not a good thing. “Leon. You need to come back.” Her voice was almost inaudible, but she was close enough for him to listen. Placing her whole palm on his arm, she started to gently rub his skin, trying to anchor him back into the present. “Listen to me. It’s ok. We need you here, Leon. Please.”

Those words made him open his eyes again, looking back into Valerie’s eyes. The woman had nothing but reassurance, even in that godforsaken situation – clearly a seasoned nurse who was used to taking care of people… And people like him.

Leon took another deep breath, watching her smile in the process, finally noticing her touch on his arm. With another breath, his heart started beating a little calmer and it seemed like the stomping had stopped. Leon looked back at the white doors again, but nothing could be heard. He closed his eyes once more, taking another breath, and looking back at Valerie right after.

“Thank you. We need to go now.” With those words, he nodded at the jammed door – Leon and Valerie were the only ones left, with you helping the elderly lady squeeze through without getting hurt. Valerie smiled back, immediately going to the door to help you and cross to the other side.

Leon risked one last look to the double door, only to hear nothing. Whatever it was, it would be shut in the bowels of that Hospital forever – and he couldn’t be happier with that.

To be continued...

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hopelesslyfallenninlove · 2 years

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Larissa Weems x Reader Chapter 5: Protected and Safe

Chapter 4 where we left off: "That sounds like a perfect plan to me" Larissa gives me one last kiss before saying goodnight and retiring into her room. I flop down on my bed and just think about how this all changed again in a 180, but I'm not going to complain. Wow I get an actual date with Larissa Weems. This is going to be amazing.”

Date time

It is the day of the date Larissa is picking me up around 5pm. Since it was a Saturday I have some time to get ready before our date. I do the usual stuff: shower, shave, pick out my outfit, makeup and hair. I gotta say I do look pretty good, I hope this date goes well. I have a nice emerald blouse and black blazer on top, with some dark blue stone washed jeans and a pair of black heels. My hair is curled and I have a simple makeup look with a nude lip on, and a shimmery eye shadow. I get done with 5 minutes to spare. As I double check myself and my purse to make sure I have everything, there is a knock at the door. I quickly look at the time it’s 5pm. She really is punctual. I chuckle slightly and open my door, there she stands in her statuesque beauty in a black knee length dress that hugs her curves perfectly, she has her signature red lip, her hair up, a black coat and has some heels. In her hand she has a beautiful bouquet of variegated tulips they symbolize beautiful eyes, perfect for a first date. “Wow.. you look absolutely stunning Larissa”

“As do you Y/N, here… these are for you. I wasn’t sure what to get you and I didn’t want to get you roses as there are overused, so I picked variegated tulips, which fit because you have gorgeous eyes, dear” Larissa tells me while handing me the flowers, I take them blush and head to put them in a vase quick.

“Thank you, they are beautiful. A perfect first date flower” I tell her with a wide smile.

“Are you ready, darling?” I nod and we walk out together to her car and head into Jericho. We pull in front of the only nice restaurant in town and to my surprise Larissa has a reservation in place for us. The conversation between us flows easily and like we were always meant to be in each other's lives. As Larissa is talking about when she went to Nevermore when she was younger I get lost in my thoughts that are all consumed by her. Of how beautiful she is inside and out, how adorable she talks with her hands, speaking of hands how I would let her do anything to me with those hands. As soon as my thoughts go from anything but innocent I quickly come back to reality and Larissa is still talking, good I must have only slipped away for a second. After Larissa finishes talking about her Nevermore years, I talk to her about going to school in a small town in the Midwest, which she listens intently to. After we finish eating Larissa pays the bill before I could even argue and we go for a walk around town, still talking about anything and everything. We pass by a convenience store and I tell Larissa that I need to go to the bathroom, she says she will be right here. When I come out I hear a commotion, I go to look for Larissa and when I find her I see 3 normie guys in her personal space and saying ungodly things to her.

“Hey.. you better get outta here before I have something to do about it.” I say as intimidating as possible. Larissa’s eyes hold fear and that makes me even more angry.

“Oh, yeah what are you gonna do about it little girl?” one of the guys said with a smirk and the other 2 threw out slurs. I walk right up to them and grab the front of his shirt easily lifting him up. It was my turn to smirk seeing his face drain of color.

“Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” He shakes his head and looks behind him where his other friends had disappeared as soon as I grabbed him. I hear him gulp and look back at me, I let out a low chuckle before saying, “Now, I better not see or hear you bothering this woman ever again and if you do, mark my words.. You will no longer be able to use that THING between your legs, do you understand?” my voice getting lower and lower with each word at the end, he nods his head. “Nuh uh, I need to hear you to make sure you understand.”

“Ye-ye-yes I pr-pr-promise” he stutters out.

“Good, now you are going to apologize to that nice woman” I slowly let him down still staring him down, he quickly looks at Larissa and apologizes profusely before looking back at me. “Good, now leave. Before I change my mind” he nods and runs away. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before looking back at Larissa, and she still looks shaken. I now worry if it was because of me. I slowly approached her, “Love, are you alright?” I gently say, she finally looks into my eyes and gives me a small nod. I reach my hand out and stop right before I touch her in case she wants to pull away, but Larissa immediately engulfs me into a hug and holds on tight. I rub her back and reassure her that she is alright and that I will never let anything happen to her. I decide that we should go home and grab the keys from her, I guide her to the car and open the passenger side for her to sit in. The ride is silent the way back to Nevermore, and up to her room. She opens the door and drags me in with her.

“Please, don’t leave me. Can you stay the night, please?” Larissa cries out, I engulf her in another hug and lead her to her bed.

“Of course I will, whatever you need tell me and I will do it. I am here for you Larissa.” she grabs on tighter. After a few minutes she calms down and loosens her grip, I move back and she immediately tights again. “Sh… sh.. I was just going to fetch you some sleep clothes, can I do that? Or would you rather take a bath first?” I ask her to look down and cup her cheeks.

“A bath please” Larissa says so softly that makes my heart ache. I guide her up and into her bathroom, where I start the bath for her. I found some bubbles and salts to put in.

“I’m going to get some clothes for you and a towel, can you get undressed and get in there while I get them?” I ask her softly, wanting everything to be on her terms before she gets back to feeling like herself. She gives me a nod and with that I quickly get her clothes and a towel. When I enter the bathroom again Larissa is already in the bath but she still has her hair up. She looks up at me and gives me a small smile. “Here lets get your hair down as well” I walk up to her and take her pins out letting her platinum blonde hair fall to her shoulders. I stay behind her and massage her scalp gently, scratching every once in a while. I move down to her shoulders and massage them, then tension in her shoulders slowly melts away and she lets out soft hums and moans. After a while Larissa says she’s ready to get out and I look away letting her get dried off and dressed. When she’s done she grabs my hand and we go back to the bed she has me sit before she goes to her closet and returns with clothes for me. I get changed and we both get under the covers, Larissa is laying on my chest tracing patterns onto my stomach.

“Thank you… for helping me back there and now taking care of me. N- no ones ever done anything like that before. Let alone take care of me after I'm not at my best.” Hearing this breaks my heart and I pull/squeeze her into me more and tighter.

“I’m so sorry that you’ve never had someone who cares before. But when I say this I mean it, I am never going anywhere Larissa. I will be by your side no matter what and I will always protect and fight for you.” I kiss the top of her head, we sit in silence and soon enough I hear Larissa’s soft snores and I soon follow after sleeping while holding her.

#lgbtq #lesbians #larissa weems x reader

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kate-les-bridge-stewart · 1 year

Text

Ok so I saw this gif:

and I guess I had a stroke or something cus now I wanna make a fanfic where the Dhawan master steals the sad blood robot and befriends it.

For those who dont know this was part of an art exhibit called "cant help myself" where the robot is surrounded by a pool of fake blood. Its programmed to constantly push the blood so it stays within a certain radius of itself. The thing is over time people saw the robot start to fling the blood around and act erratically. As time went on the robot started basically having an existential crisis, flailing its arm around randomly, giving up on trying to keep the pool contained, and just generally being really panicked. The project concluded when the artists came in and shut the robot down after 3 years.

Naturally I feel very strongly about this little robot babygirl and so heres a dumb scuffed crack fic treated seriously

---

The robot began to quietly hum as it slowly powered on now that it was hooked up to a power supply again. Its scoop twisted slightly as it woke from its sleep.

"Oh, good you're awake! Just let me-"

Suddenly the robot began loudly hissing and whirring as it flailed its arm in a panic. The master jumped to his feet realizing he should've seen this coming.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Easy buddy, easy!"

The robot flicked its scoop which accidentally splattered a deep red fluid across the masters chest. He stumbled back a bit before looking down at his now stained vest, his face drooping a bit in disappointment. He snapped his attention back to the robot, he could deal with his clothes later.

"Slow down ok, listen to me," the master spoke gently but firm.

The robot eventually slowed down and turned its scoop in the masters direction, though its arm was reeled back as if it thought the master would attack it at any moment. It was even visibly shaking in fear.

"That's it. Now listen, I know you're scared, you're in a completely new place but I assure you that you're safer here than you were before. Now, just hang tight for a minute while I finish hooking this up. It might tingle a little but it's just going to allow you to talk to me, if you know how that is..."

The master went back to the computer which was suspended from the ceiling. He tapped away on the keyboard, the clicks of the keys echoing off the gray walls and black linoleum floor.

The room was small and empty except for the robot in the center and the hanging computer, all illuminated with a soft warm light that was easy on the eyes. The robot had been messily hooked up to an electrical outlet on the floor next to it, its cables tangled and strewn about.

"There, now I should be able to read your thoughts," the master stood back and folded his arms, facing the robot and occasionally looking at the computer monitor.

The robot was hunched with its scoop facing the master, like a skittish starving dog cowering in the corner of a kennel.

"I'm gonna assume that big mop is like your face? Now I'm curious, where are your visual sensors?" He started walking towards the robot but it reeled back and began to shake again, prompting the master to stop after two steps.

"Ah, right. Probably should wait until you've settled," he grimaced slightly.

"Well I'm gonna leave you be for a while so you can get used to your new home. I'll be back in..." he glanced at his watch, "let's say an hour. I'd say that's a good amount of time."

The master turned on his heel to exit the room but he froze at the sound of a ping from the computer. He turned back and took 2 long strides to the monitor.

On the screen was a black background with green text formatted like a DOS terminal. There was a new message on the screen written in chinese. The system began automatically translating the characters and soon the English message appeared.

05/20/2016 13:34 > Where am I?

The master stared at the monitor in awe for a moment.

"Oh wow! You took to that awfully quick!" He smiled up at the robot who continued staring at him. Somehow despite not having a face the master couldn't shake a feeling that the robot was glaring at him.

"Well first of all, you can call me the Master. I've brought you to my humble abode I call the tardis. I'm sure you'll come to really get along with her, shes a reliable old beauty and she'll love your new company!"

The tardis hummed warmly at the masters comment, causing the robot to look up at the ceiling searching for the source of the sound.

A new message appeared on the screen.

05/20/2016 13:36 > was. That her?

"Yep! She can actually talk you see, she's kind of a robot like you, except much, much bigger and older and-... well you'll get to know her eventually."

05/20/2016 13:36 > you live in a robot?

"Well, I did say kind of for a reason, heh. She's a lot of things," he looked up at the ceiling with a suggestive grin, "and all of them are gorgeous."

The tardis whirred rapidly as if she was giggling.

When the master turned his gaze back to the robot it was staring at him with its scoop tilted slightly, looking confused.

"Oh yeah, you'll have to get used to that, we just can't help but flirt."

The robot leaned forward but paused, lifting its head a pinch before subtly shaking it in resignation.

Somehow the master felt just the tiniest sting from its judgement. Was he getting kink shamed by a robot?

"Uh- anyway! So I dont actually think you have a name, what would you like to be called?" He folded his hands and leaned forward with an expectant smile.

The robot stood still for about 2 minutes, the computer remaining silent.

Finally the robot sunk a little and a new message appeared on the screen.

05/20/2016 13:41 > I... I don't know.

"Well that's not the best name now is it?" He put his hands on his hips as he frowned sarcastically. "I'm joking, dont worry love. Now let me think of some names for you."

He pondered for a bit, rubbing his beard as he glared at the ground and tapped his foot.

"Oh! How about Sigma? It's my favorite greek letter you know, I just think it looks lovely!"

05/20/2016 13:43 > what does it look like?

"Oh, right. You've probably never seen it," he looked up at the ceiling again, "honey, would you be a dear and show our guest what Sigma looks like?"

On the computer screen a url popped up which then opened as an image on the next line.

The image was projected to the robot's mind to which it tilted its head in mild interest.

"See? Doesnt it look so clean and sleek?"

05/20/2016 13:44 > that's called "sigma"?

The master nodded.

05/20/2016 13:44 > it does look nice...

05/20/2016 13:44 > I like it.

The master clapped with a cheeky smile, "fantastic!! So from now on I will call you Sigma! Ugh I'm such a genius with names aren't I?" He practically danced around like a high school theater kid.

The robot simply stared in slight confusion.

The tardis hummed and her voice echoed in Sigma's mind.

"Dont mind them, they do odd things like this all the time."

"Anyhow, I think I'll let you get settled and maybe get to know my lovely tardis a bit. If you need me just pop a message and I'll respond through text if I can. I'll be over in the kitchen fixing myself some matcha."

And with that he left the room.

Despite still being on edge and nervous about this whole new arrangement, Sigma began to feel something different, something unfamiliar.

They felt calm.

There was no more nagging at its sensors demanding that they mop up the fluid. Jo more gawking onlookers and dead stares from soulless art critics. No more blinding light against stark white floors and walls. No more panic, no more stupid dancing for an uninterested crowd.

No more red.

#doctor who #dhawan!master #dhawan master #spy master #spy!master #dw fanfic #cant help myself

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periru3 · 4 months

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4 and 9 for the vidder ask meme, please?

4. Vid you're proudest of?

Well, I'll give a quick shout out to Rose Bride My World, which was @tafadhali's answer to this question, as well as Inhuman Illusory Soul Fusion Magic, which are definitely both strong contenders for me. But my personal answer for this one has to be Rain in Derry. It's the most ambitious vid I've ever made and took me the longest to make by far. It incorporates clips from the It miniseries, both movies, and 7 other visual sources that are either movies referenced in the book, or just things I thought I could use to visually represent scenes from the book that aren't in either adaptation. In addition to the visual sources, I also used clips from the audiobook, and whooo boy, let me tell you, picking out quotes I wanted to use, finding those quotes in the audiobook, figuring out how to get the audio of just those quotes into a format I could use in premiere, editing them down to fit within the song's instrumental breaks and have a nice rhythm with the music, and mixing the sound so it all sounded nice and coherent was a project and a half (but also a total blast and I'd do it all again). Aside from how ambitious the task was just in terms of the scope of media used, I also went for a visual style in this vid that was a bit outside my comfort zone, with not only really fast-paced editing, but also lots of overlay effects and masking to combine different clips. It was difficult both for me as an editor and for my computer, which had such a hard time processing all these overlaying clips that by the time I was about half-way done with the vid, I started needing to render or export sections of it any time I wanted to see what my work actually looked like! So yeah, definitely my most ambitious and challenging vid, and one for a source I'm deeply passionate about, so it's gotta be my proudest vidding accomplishment! (wow, that answer got long. oops. I just have a lot to say about this vid lol)

9. What are some fandoms and/or ships you'd like to vid for but haven't yet?

Ooh, let's see, there are so many. A few off the top of my head are...

Yellowjackets - Taf has now made several wonderful vids for this fandom and it seems like a blast to vid, but I don't have any specific ideas myself yet.

Hannibal - another one Taf has vidded, though in this case I have 3 ideas written down that I've had for years now and really just need to get around to making!

Black Sails - I have an idea for this one that I think will be a really nice compliment to my existing gay pirate vid.

A League of Their Own - I have an idea for this one, and it might not shock people who are familiar with my (or Taf's) work to know it's to a Postmodern Jukebox song lol.

Poor Things - my favorite movie of last year, and not something I have any specific ideas for, but think would be SO fun to vid because of both the rich visuals and themes.

9-1-1 - Taf and my newest obsession! I'd honestly love to do a character study of almost any main character, a Buck/Eddie vid, or a Buckley siblings vid for this one, but don't have any song ideas as of yet.

A whole bunch of sitcoms, but especially Schitt's Creek - I want to keep making progress on my BNL Sitcom Vids series, and I have no less than 40 ideas written down, 28 of which are for fandoms I've never vidded, and several of which have already been started, but have been on the back burner for a while. Anyway, I love me some sitcoms, and Schitt's Creek has to be one of my favorites, so once I finish the Good Place BNL vid I've had in the works for a while, that might be the next one on my list to tackle!

These are fun! Ask me more! :D

#vidding #vidding meme #get to know the vidder #asks #ask #ask meme #fanvids #vids #fanvid #vid #it #it 1990 #it 2017 #revolutionary girl utena #steven universe

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tenpixelsusie · 2 years

Note

What're some Brett HCs? :3

i'm the brett-meiser i see... like the snow meiser for brett hand

HEEHEEHOO <3 tw for food mentions??

- Brett can bake! when he moved off of his family's property in college, he had to learn to cook for himself (and his roomates) in a little rinky dink apartment off campus, and during that time, he learned how to make the most MOUTH WATERING chocolate chip cookies.

his secret? he paints melted butter onto them as soon as they're out of the oven. the cookies taste like heaven, and they always bring tears to anyone's eyes the first time they take a bite.

...he can also make a damn good lasagna. old recipe from the butlers and maids that raised him in the old hand manor.

- HE LOVESSS RPGs. especially ones where you can befriend the characters??? augh. lovely. perfect. his favorite in particular is the classic MOON RPG (y'know the one that toby fox got inspiration from when working on undertale? speaking of,)

he's also played the utdr games. he ABSOLUTELY cried at the true pacifist ending (i have a headcanon for andre that ties into this actually! he played ut bc of the sans memes back in 2016, then reccomended it to brett a couple years later.)

he's played deltarune OF COURSE. and his favorite characters were sweet cap'n cakes :-] (scc ties into my next thing heehee)

- H☆R fan!!! while he is- and always will be- a fan of almost exclusively 1980's media, he found joy in the homestar series back when it was in its early stages. his favorite character is strong bad! (and he really enjoyed scc in dr bc when they introduced themselves in game he was like "wow! just like homestar!" lol)

- OVERBITE!!! he has an overbite. he had to get braces to fix it in middle school, but it never fully went away.

- y'all've most likely heard his voice. he's got a bit of a southern twang to him (just like me a bit :3), and his parents made him go to speech therapy to get rid of it when it was a REALLY strong accent. but nothin' can keep a country boy down, amiright folks!?

...right?

...tough crowd.

- GREATEST PERSON TO HUG EVERRRR. he's got a lot of lovin' in his heart and a lot of it is expressed through physical affection and words of affirmation, both things he excels at! brett can give the most comfortable hugs in the galaxy, from a quick squeeze around the shoulders to a literal pick me up!...and spin around. and nuzzling cheek... hehe. (he actually made reagan fall asleep in the middle of one of them, so he kinda just carried her to her lab to snooze <3.)

- uses fidgets quite frequently, especially those rings that you twist <3 he's got a glittery one that he wears on his right ring finger and it works well for him. he uses chewlery as well and both of these things help him focus quite better than without.

- hmmmm hmmm... he loves to hum. humming is good. nice noise. he's got a groovy tune in his head at all times and he ain't afraid to show it! well- hum it, in this case.

- i like to think that if you messed up his hair all the way, he'd have kind of longer hair. that's how he had his mullet in the brettfast club episode...!

- mr bisexual... probably bi ace or bi aro. either way he swings! (personally i think he's arospec AND aspec. maybe demiro and demisexual (TOTALLY not making all my faves aro/arospec WHATTT. nooo.))

- unlike what'd you expect, he actually doesn't like milk chocolate! he prefers dark chocolate. richer taste, y'know (smthn smthn uhhh run and tell that from hairspray)

- HE CAN SEWWWW HE CAN SEW HE CAN SEW HE CAN SEW HE C-

brett can sew!!!! he repairs his and his friends' clothes a lot AND makes stuff too (cough cough. hand puppets and such)

- can also do makeup SO WELL. his goth phase really had some results... the guy knows how to do eyeliner. it's basically second nature for him.

- STIMS!!!! HE STIMS!!!! HE STIMS BY BOUNCING HIS LEG AND VOCALLY STIMSSSS. I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT.

- sleeps with a teddy bear. the guy likes cuddling. probably has on o' those those special ones that you can easily heat up in the microwave or dryer!!

- paints his nails on the occasion :)

that's!!!! mostly it!!!!

OH AND @niceysboy since i screenshotted your ask!

#the bagel writes #???#i GUESS #asks? in my inbox? it's more likely than you think.#brett hand #inside job netflix #inside job headcanons #inside job headcanon #headcanon #headcanons

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pinkprimrose05 · 2 years

Text

Pink's ARC-V Highlights - Volume 2: Beware The Blue

Warning: Very Long Post, Contains Spoilers

Okay, uh, I lied. I'm not only here to talk about theories and potential foreshadowing. This series also serves as a quick recap of all ARC-V episodes and the cool moments in them -regardless of relevance to the plot- sprinkled with a generous drizzle of ramblings from yours truly.

If all goes well, you can expect fairly consistent updates, where I cover a few episodes every time. This one, for example, will go over Episodes 3 to 7, since those are the ones I managed to watch this week.

(I. hate. midyear finals.)

If that still piques your interest, then I hope you enjoy the read!

(And yes, I know Yuuto is purple, but purple is technically a shade of blue so the rhyme still works-)

__________________________________

1) Episodes 3 & 4, OR: The obligatory "No card is useless!" Duel.

We pick up where we left off with the You Show crew, and the mishaps of Learning How To Pendulum At The Unholy Hour of 3 A.M. I must applaud the sheer lack of braincells between Gongenzaka and Yuuya, because wow, I can't believe they both forgot that Duel Replays are a thing.

(This is why only Yuzu has a 60%+ winrate.)

Fast forward through school-flavored pain, and we now introduce everyone's favorite banana peel...

... whom I highkey want to punt off a cliff.

Look, I love Sawatari. I really do. But good Lord, I forgot just how insufferable he was this far back in the show. I had to refrain from punching my screen several times through the back half of Episode 3, because Shingo, you idiot, who the fuck told you it was fine to put 8-year-old children in mortal danger for a bunch of shiny new cards??

Suffice to say, it took me a good while to actually like him after this atrocious first impression... but hey, at least he gets humbled with style!

As far as early-game Duels go, this one is actually not half bad. The "weak card wins you the game" trope is a bit cliché, but Yuuya gets props for turning it into a pretty light show with Kaleidoscorp and Block Spider, and then using said pretty light show to win the game in one turn.

Another thing is that this Duel introduces Action Traps! Gosh, I would have loved to see more of those later down the line. The concept is pretty neat, and the negative effects create an interesting risk, where a Duelist has to stop and think if they really need to grab an Action card, regardless of the potential ramifications of it being a Trap.

Oh, and did I mention that Sawatari gets roasted to oblivion before the final direct attack? Because he does. Yuuya went above and beyond to make this as entertaining as possible to his friends, and as humiliating as possible for Shingo... for which I ultimately have to thank him, because that's the spark that eventually turned Sawatari into the flashy dork we all know and love.

... And because he deserved an asskicking at the time. Sora did well knocking him out, actually.

Speaking of which—

__________________________________

2) Episodes 5 & 6, OR: That one time we adopted a war criminal.

I actually kinda like these two episodes. They're nothing particularly special if you look back (well, unless you're subscribed to the theory that the stadium in the first minute or so is the same one from Leo's flashback in Episode 126), but hey, at least we get to "properly" know our beloved sugar gremlin!

God, I love Sora. He's actually pretty terrible at disguising his position as a spy- like wow, he keeps outing himself as suspicious every time he makes a snide comment, even without the context of who he actually is. I think he could only afford to slip up so much because no one could ever guess that he came from a world-invading organization in a reality parallel to their own.

... And also because everyone thought of him as a mere child with a bit of a quirky, mischievous streak. I mean, who can ever think ill of such a sweet little guy?

(Yuuya can, but that's because Sora was annoying him on purpose lmao. It's good that he wasn't fooled by the cutesy act, though; that means he could read Sora better than most, despite his deflection and the constant switching between cutie pie and smug bastard.)

As for the Duel, it isn't much to talk about. The first few Duels are usually for exposition and showing mechanics, and in this case, we just see what happens when a Pendulum monster gets destroyed.

Short answer: It goes to the Extra Deck instead of the GY.

Long asnwer: Yuuya goes through a minor existential crisis, because his mishmash of a strategy comes crashing down the moment Odd-Eyes is out of the equation. How does he deal with that, you ask? Hysterical laughter, that's how.

(Goddammit ARC-V, isn't it far too early to make me question the protagonist's sanity?

... actually, don't answer that.)

Aaaaaaaaanyway, we also get to see the reintroduction of Fusion summoning!

(Look at this cool animation. So clean. So awesome.)

Fluffals are actually a very good Deck to showcase the different levels of complexity of the mechanic, and they get bonus points for the contrast between the cutesy plushies and... whatever animatronic shit the Frightfurs have going on. I am now reminded of how glad I was to see the older summoning methods getting a neat glow-up, especially after ZEXAL booted them out of existence in favor of focusing on Xyz.

(And on that note, I feel the need to stress that it's Xyz, not XYZ. Please. It's been twelve years. Stop confusing the game mechanic with the Union cards, people.)

__________________________________

3) Episode 7, OR: The one I actually wanted to talk about all along.

Oh this. This. This is where the plot finally starts to move forward. Nothing against the previous episodes, but I did say before they're mostly there for exposition, and that, by nature, is bound to be a little boring.

Unlike here.

I'd like to start by talking about Yuzu, because we have to admit: this is the first time she's relevant to the story as herself, not as Yuuya's friend or as a student at You Show. And boy, does she make it count.

She busts Sawatari on her own, and literally calls him a hundredth-rate Duelist. To his face. In front of his lackeys. Yuzu was ready to take him on, even when she was alone and locked in the warehouse (again, Shingo, what the fuck??), and I'm fairly certain she could've backed up her words given the chance...

Except, well, she wasn't given the chance.

I'm actually willing to let this one slide, because Yoot's interference doesn't invalidate Yuzu's ability to handle this by herself. I see it more as a precaution on his part, and also a chance to learn more about LDS and Academia that he simply couldn't pass up.

There's also the likely possibility that he genuinely didn't know how Duels worked here, and couldn't risk Yuzu getting hurt if he could help it. It's clear that Yuuto was aware she wasn't Ruri at this point (wow, good job man, you're not as colorblind as everyone else), but still didn't wish to involve an innocent bystander in conflict... which actually makes sense, considering his moral code.

And besides, the Duel was still pretty cool! There's something inherently awesome about setting a full backrow board on Turn 1, and the first time I saw it, I was absolutely shooketh.

(Also, there was a copy of Mystical Space Typhoon among the set cards. Something tells me that Yuuto knows it doesn't negate, and that is definitely praiseworthy, because it means that he actually reads the damn cards.)

Even Sawatari gets kudos for Monarch representation. And also for showing us that Prismatic foil and different rarities do exist in-universe, just like in GX. It makes me wonder why most Duelists don't use them, buuut I guess that was just a throwaway detail that they used to highlight Shingo's spoiled rich brat disposition.

ANYWAYS, moving on to more important matters!

Like dark matter. Which exists in space. Which is the theme of many Xyz cards. Among which there is one Dark Rebellion Xyz Dragon.

(HAIL THE T-POSE ALTERNATE ARTWORK!!)

Don't let the lesser requirement of 1 Overlay Unit fool you; the anime version is still worse than the one we got in the game... though it does, at least, have better OTK abilities against non-Xyz bosses.

I still laugh at the fact that it left Sawatari with exactly 100 LP. Poor guy probably thought he could pull a protagonist comeback, but alas, he forgot that he is not the protagonist...

Well, at least he gets a shot at the role in Episode 139, but we're a few ways away from that right now.

And speaking of stuff that we're a few ways away from...

*shakes Yuuto* Did you just- DID YOU JUST FUCKING NAMEDROP ACADEMIA???

I don't remember this at all. I thought he just asked about the significance of the LDS pin and left. What the hell? Why does none of the characters talk about it then? Not Sawatari, not his goons, not even Yuzu? What??

This is really, really weird. I may have to look into it a little more later on, but for now, we return to a bewildered Yuzu... and her absolute party pooper of a plot device.

Yes. You know the one.

(FuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufUCKYOU)

This stupid bracelet and the subsequent events following its activation bring us to a point of great frustration that I would like to touch upon, that being the cast's crippling inability to tell the counterparts apart from each other. Brace yourselves, Duelists; this might be a bit of a long tangent.

*inhales*

Okay, look, there are two sides to this issue; one that can be excused in more than one instance, and one that makes zero sense, no matter how you spin it.

The excusable side is the visual confusion. I understand Yuzu's shock at the situation as a whole, not helped at all by this odd fellow who strongly resembles her best friend.

(And before you say Yuuto doesn't resemble Yuuya for shit, yes he does, if only because the goggles' band is holding his bangs down.)

One must also remember they were locked in a now-wrecked warehouse, so the lighting conditions are bound to be rather bad, and it might be difficult to see clearly as a result. With all that in mind, I can forgive Yuzu for confusing their looks.

The inexcusable side, however, is the auditory confusion. The counterparts -every single one of them- don't sound the least bit similar to each other, even in the English dub.

They could look straight up identical for all it matters, but their voices are so wildly distinct I cannot begin to fathom how anyone can ever confuse them. You could technically make a case for excluding Yuuri and Yuuya since the sole difference between them is voice tone (at least in the sub), but the former is not a subject of comparison right now, and Yuuto's voice is far cry from the latter.

In conclusion of these two factors, I only have one thing to say:

... This is stupid.

This is so, so stupid.

It's so fucking stupid it's not even funny, but it is what it is, and as with every single time anyone talks about this issue, we'll just have to roll with it and be glad when a character doesn't take the bait.

*sigh*

__________________________________

Well, this should be everything for now, and *checks post length*.... holy shit I didn't think it'd slip from me this much. If you somehow managed to reach the end without dozing off midway through, then you deserve a cookie.

Thanks for reading, and see you soon, Duelists!

#pink's arc v highlights #yugioh #yugioh arc v #arc v #yuya sakaki #yuzu hiragi #yuzu hiiragi #shingo sawatari #sora shiunin #yuto (arc v)#long post #episode analysis #also uhh #just noticed i keep switching between sawatari and shingo every time i mention him #i hope its not disconcerting #im still talking about the same guy

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ratralsis · 4 months

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Brief update

I haven't written anything long in a while because I haven't had a ton of time.

My latest writing class ended a few weeks ago. The course report I filled out wound up hurting my tutor's feelings so much that, even after I wrote multiple emails apologizing, she didn't want to continue tutoring me in the next class. I didn't think anything I wrote in the report would surprise her, but I was wrong.

It's what I get for trying to be honest. I wound up saying at the end of my apology email that they should either ask me for my feedback more often than one time at the end of the course, to avoid being surprised like that again, or not ask for it at all. I'll do the work either way.

Writing classes are hard work. I don't view them as supposed to be fun. I can write for fun on my own time. And I do. You have no idea how much I cracked myself up writing last month that showing a non-gamer a photo of Squall from FF8 would literally kill them, and that the UN is actually an organization devoted to wiping FF8 from the Earth. That's fucking hilarious to me, man. Love that shit. Didn't get a single note. Most of what I write doesn't. Doesn't bother me. It did bother me when that Doctor Worm story didn't get any notes. I've said that before, but it does still bug me a little. That was a good fucking story, and I don't care who says it isn't.

My cat, Tina, nearly died of some kind of nasal blockage or respiratory infection. For $65, she got a quick exam from a vet and some amoxicillin, and now, nine days after starting that (and with a couple of days left of the stuff to go), she seems much better. But she hasn't jumped or run to play with the cat toy in over a month. I think that her new normal will never be as good as it was even three months ago. That's life. The vet she's "doing great for her age." Her age is 89 in cat years. "Alive" is great. "Typical for her age" would be dead. It's like if you went to the gym and saw an 89-year-old woman walking on a treadmill going 3 miles per hour. "Wow," you'd say. "A twenty-minute mile? That's great for her age." But that's because most people who were born 89 years ago can't walk at all, because they're fucking dead. So are most cats who were born 18 years and three months ago, so, yes, Tina is doing great for her age.

I discovered a small leak in the roof of my garage this afternoon. I called my home insurance company and will hopefully have someone able to give me an estimate on what it will take to fix it soon so that I can determine if I need to make a claim or not. There have been multiple bad storms where I live recently, just like there have been literally everywhere on the continental US recently. Where I live has been pretty mild, comparatively.

I'm hoping it won't cost more than a couple thousand dollars to fix. I can afford that much, though it will hurt, a lot. I've been saving like crazy all year, and that will undo much of that saving, but it won't even put me as low as I was last year when I was literally begging for money on the internet.

It's been over two months since I said on my Animal Crossing blog that I would post my photos from Leap Day and the few days before it. I haven't done that yet, and that really does upset me. I try hard to be a man of my word.

I'm not talented. I'm not charismatic. I have very few innate abilities. There's only one thing I know how to do, and that's put in the work. I updated that Animal Crossing blog every day for nearly a decade, so believe when I say that 1) I know a fucking thing or two about a work ethic, and 2) I'm sorry I haven't posted those photos yet. It's been difficult to do much writing lately that isn't for my novel.

I had to throw away everything I'd been working on on the latest draft about three months into my last class. I'm still working on catching up. I have sixty days before the next class starts. I have ten chapters left to write before I can call this draft done. Can I do it? Of course I can. Who the fuck do you think I am?

But it means I don't have a ton of time to write for fun, or watch TV for fun, or play video games for fun, or anything for fun. Every night, after dinner, it's an hour of writing, at least.

It's not supposed to be fun. Even chess grandmasters, the ones who love the game so much that they become the best in the world, don't get that good by playing casually. They work at it. The only way to get to that kind of level is to work at it.

There's no such thing as good enough. There's better than the last thing, which is always possible, and there's perfection, which never is. That's all there is.

I'll be better later. Probably. I don't like to complain, so I try very hard to do it very rarely, but sometimes I go so long without saying anything at all that I think even complaining might be better than nothing.

Let me know if I'm wrong.

Let me know if I'm right.

Let me know anything at all. I don't like screaming into the void like this, but I sure have been doing it for over twenty years, haven't I.

#ratralsis writing

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floppyhatwitch · 9 months

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This is Part 2 of my 2023 new year's resolution recap. If you want to see part 1, click here.

And we're back! If you've read the first part, you're all caught up with the gist of everything, so I'll spare the extensive intro.

Long post coming up again, art under the cut :)

This is one of my favourites

I saw some tips on how to make a sketchbook more fun that included working with the fact the drawings are within a book and so I decided to make a portal between two characters.

How whimsical!

I reused the cutout bits to decorate the glossy front cover of the sketchbook too, which resulted in me having to glue it back on more times than I'd like to admit.

The return of my son <3

I think the key features to really nail down when drawing bonnie are the upper jaw and the eye socket. Obviously not the be all and end all, but they really add to his signature style. I mention this only because my bootleg bonnie plush is widely different for both those features, which I find funnier than it has any right to be.

This one was a joke about drink driving and getting pulled over, but it was probably the best anatomy lesson I had all year. I somehow managed to portray the likeness of my friend half decently while working with dramatic lighting. I mean, it's no like, groundbreaking work or anything, but it's one that I take great pride in.

I LOVE HATSUNE MIKU AND JERMA!!!!! RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

If I could do this one again (which I inevitably will because look at them) I would definitely make Jerma more like the creature he is and exaggerate his distinct features a little more.

Anyway the reason I put this up is because I accidentally titled it "Jerma and Hatsune Mike" because of autocorrect, which led to the creation of

HATSUNE MIKE!!!!

Miku's older and less famous sister. Although from what I've been told, her slices are the best in Queens, hands down.

Quick Australian politics tangent. We recently had a referendum that proposed adding an advisory group for First Nations peoples into the constitution. It was like the tiniest step forward towards actually repairing the generational trauma and long-term effects of colonialist genocide by simply asking Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people how they could be best assisted.

Despite being one of the easiest choices I've ever seen in my life, the referendum DIDN'T PASS. I was genuinely pissed when I found out so I tore up the bullshit misinformation flyers handed out by the opposition volunteers and made it into this. It's probably the most "teenager with too much angst and no actual action" thing ever, but it was how I felt at the time.

After that whole debacle I went through a phase where I used a lot of imagery of revolutions to try and process the feelings I was experiencing on the matter.

I thought the foreshortening and perspective on this one kinda popped off. The decision to place the viewer at the level of the executed was intentional. It's one of the only angles anyone would have seen a guillotine this close up in practice.

On Day 300 I saw the FNAF movie and wow was it different than what I expected. I drew my son looking on in horror as his character was assassinated in front of his eyes. Looking back, it might have been a little dramatic, but I'm just like that at the end of the day.

BONUS: If you wanna see my full review of the FNAF movie, you can read it here

I really wanted to get some expressive posing and particle effects going so I took inspiration from that "THINK FAST CHUCKLENUTS" meme and tried to imagine what it would look like if it was an overedited comic strip.

I lobe scou tf2 :))))

This was the day before my Media exam and holy hell was I nervous. If I'm remembering correctly, I was actually so anxiety-ridden that I was nauseous, which doesn't happen often. I channeled my borderline religious regard of the exams power into creating a monument to its supreme importance. That's me praying underneath it.

As you can tell, I was hoping so hard that I would do well on it, which makes the next one just even more satisfying.

I DID WELL ON IT!!!!!

I legitimately felt like omni man afterwards, so I did a study of that scene where he crushes red rush's head. It's a bit rough around the edges but that final panel still gets me. I should watch the new season.

Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen Spidergwen

I'll know I'm a good artist the day that I make a couple pages as good as Miles does in atsv. Like that dude is talented as hell WHY CAN'T I DO THAT.

Speaking of the dude. Spider-Man, Spider-Man and his pal Spider-Man. Technically spectacular spider-man, but I kinda messed up the head shape a bit so it's not as obvious. Whoopsieeeee

I will always consider myself superior to fish because if I saw a mysterious hook in my environment I would simply disregard it. I will however, walk blindly into a situation that will inevitably lead to my downfall under the pretense that it will be beneficial for my future. No I don't see the irony in that, it's different I swear.

FUN ANGEL FACT! While it is technically correct to refer to these as "biblically accurate angels", they aren't the only forms of them. These are specifically referred to as Ophanim, and they're like wheels? I don't know, my knowledge kind of falls off after that point, the way they're described reminds me of those eldritch horrors that make people insane from their incomprehensibility.

Anyway I adore theological imagery but steer far away from the actual implications of any of it. To quote one of my favourite tumblr posts of all time, "narratively christianity is pretty cool i think it should have been a jrpg instead of a religion though" - Roisheep

This one came straight out of the brain tubes after I accidentally created an endless loop in my twine project and I got scared shitless that it was gonna brick my computer or something. In reality, it was the equivalent damage of refreshing a page a whole bunch of times, but I'm always jumpy when it comes to techy stuff.

One little detail I really like about this one is that the green light from the screen is actually reflected on the face and eyeballs! How fun!

This is how I'm gonna die, if it has to happen. To dissipate into a swarm of butterflies and have your cloak float down to the ground is to have lived a fulfilling life. They gotta have some pink ones though, I like those ones.

I saw a tiktokker who shades with a whole bunch of dots like some crazy kind of pointillism (if you know who I'm talking about PLEASE tell me, I can't find them) so I wanted to give it a crack.

It's nowhere near the same thing that they do, but I think it really sells the macabre and grotty nature of the cow skull and doesn't look half bad in the process. One day I'll do the cool stuff though.

WIZARD! TESTICULAR! TORSION!!!!!!!!!!

Still gotta learn how to render cloth folds.

This was me dramatically kicking the door down when I realised I had a new idea for a video game to make. This is definitely a more accurate depiction of how inspiration feels for me than anything else.

Madvillainy!

I knew from the moment I started studying metallic objects under light that I had to take a crack at the illest villain. Even just from recreating the album cover, I feel so much more knowledgeable in shading metal. You gotta get those hard transitions between highlights and shadows to sell the shine.

Almost there! This was a tribute to all the PHENOMENAL art I find on here. Like HOLY HELL everybody is so talented. Sometimes it can be demotivating, but then I remember that I could be phenomenal if I keep up with the practice. And that is the BEST feeling.

Seriously though, if you're an artist on tumblr and you're reading this, without exception you are unbelievably amazing at what you do. I haven't seen a single piece that didn't absolutely rock.

And that brings us to the last one!

I did a little caricature of all the different forms of art and expression I did throughout the year.

Clockwise from the green we have witch, punk, cyber, trans, goth, everyday, Rodney (character in my short film) and media versions of who I am. Isn't that cute?

Decided to go back and do a rundown of all my pieces and make a little recap within a recap.

But that's the lot! 2023 was a super fun year and I attribute a majority of that to this project. If you're reading this and you have something you want to do, this is your sign to just do it! Forget about new years resolutions, start today. Right now. Doesn't matter what it is, if you start now and do it every day, you'll get it done. 5 minutes, an hour, 30 seconds, whatever. This is the best choice I've ever made and that's why I'm doing it again!

A lot of the stuff I make is private or classified, but I'm gonna post all the publicly presentable stuff here, cause why not!

Anyway, that's all. Take care, stay hydrated, eat your greens, love you xx

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dzpenumbra · 1 year

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4/3/23

I'm gonna level here, tonight was rough. I had a few legit panic attacks. Not big ones, but... surreal ones. And I'm still trying to calm myself down.

It's just living in an environment that feels unsafe. Even though my building feels safe, and my apartment feels safe... my neighborhood doesn't. To me, at least. This is clearly a theme, and I'm guessing it's residual from yesterday.

This was set off by watching a stream. I had been avoiding this streamer for a while because he is notoriously antagonistic, like... it's his thing. He was on Jerry fucking Springer. Like... it's his thing. And I knew that. And I watched in the background while doing work, and while eating dinner... for... like over 7 hours. And a lot of it was like... laugh-out-loud funny. I mean that. It was sincerely entertaining.

But there were parts that just set off panic bells. Like... he mentioned a part about like being in a "bad neighborhood" and explaining how that was because the neighborhood was in the flight path of an airport... and... I live in the flightpath of an airport, I woke up to planes flying overhead again today. There were like 2 or 3 moments like that which built up and just... created this really surreal feeling... Like... "it's really not safe out there". And again, it wasn't a feeling of vivid clarity or specificity, it was a feeling of intensity, surreality and gravity.

I guess that's my disorder. I guess that's me getting triggered by key concepts, key words even, and then those concepts/words get associated reflexively with other concepts, then my autonomic alarm system kicks in and goes "I know what that is, that exists in our life, DANGER" and kicks the panic switch. It felt a lot like my weed freakouts do, just a super mild version. It was a big surge of "you're not safe, you're in a bad area and you're alone, you're in danger".

Now... looking back at it? It looks fucking silly. Like... I'm in my electronically locked apartment, in an electronically locked building. The area I live in barely even qualifies as urban, honestly. I'm clearly not in any imminent danger. But... it hits just like I am. It took me a while to get out of it. The intensity of it faded pretty quick, but... it was around like 1 or 2, and it's almost 4:30 now and shades of it are still lingering... Like that feeling of being in a haunted house, feeling like I'm being watched or something. High alert.

When I saw the doctor the other day and mentioned that I deal with depression, anxiety, PTSD and that I'm kinda in a bit of a bout of agoraphobia right now... his first response was starting to tell me about how social interaction was a basic human need, and I was just like... "dude, I know..." Like, I actually got a bit impatient with him. I am fucking aware. To me, at the time, that was like telling me "you know, food is really important for your health..." I have been telling my therapists that for like 4 years now. Weird how I can be in therapy with 3 different therapists and not a single one until this month could figure out a single idea of how I could make friends that was within my comfort zone. With all the fucking technology we have now! Meh, they probably don't have a lot of friends themselves, now that I think about it...

Wow, I got super bitter there for a minute, huh... Ugh.

What the doctor said to me stuck with me because it's absolutely true, and my anger about it is (to me at least) very clearly not directed at him at all. I'm actually super relieved that he is on the same page, like "thank fucking god, finally". I'm pissed that there's like... literally nothing I can do about that. I can't make people hang out with me. I can't make people that I was friends with... not be pieces of shit to me.

And, right now at least, I just don't really feel comfortable meeting people in person. ... I guess? I mean, I met the kids at the skateshop the other day and had zero problems... I went to the skatepark and didn't meet anyone or talk to anyone really... but I had headphones in, so... it's not like I was being super approachable... and they were all like 10+ years younger than me, it's not like it's normal for them to just come up and approach me without a reason, I guess. And vice versa, it just feels weird for some reason. I don't wanna weird them out.

Ugh, anxiety fucking everywhere tonight!

Seriously, its like... the dam cracks and everything starts flowing out. Honestly, what I was thinking with what the doctor said... I really wish I had a friend to just talk shit out with. To just get my anxieties out of my head and hear some unbiased perspective. Because when I'm left alone with my own creative thought, it can just spiral into "what if" for hours. And if I were watching that stream, and just turned to my imaginary girlfriend who, in this magical scenario, actually exists... and went "hey, I'm kinda freaking out a little... this whole stream is about like... crime and being in a bad neighborhood and it's feeling really familiar, and I feel like I made a big mistake moving here, and really it's just a matter of time before something bad like what I'm watching happens to me. Getting scammed, getting robbed, me going to the police and then having people nearby know I went to the police and fucking me up because of it or something." And then we'd talk about it. Talk about like... how likely is that to happen around here? If it did happen, what would we do? Shit like that. Comfort. Reassurance. Not being fucking alone in everything I do.

Anyone who dreams of independence? Who worships and praises it. Independence is fucking easy. Get up, throw your phone in the garbage and start walking in a direction and don't stop, don't turn back. Then you're independent. Congrats. Independent = alone. And yes, it has its "freedoms". Absolutely. Your actions do not affect others. You are free to make as many foolish mistakes as you please and the consequences will fall solely on your lap. And the responsibility for learning from that folly and cleaning up the mess will fall right on your shoulders. And there will be no one to help you through any part of the process. Weird how every person I have met that has thumped the Independence Bible, while shaming me for my "reliance on others" never had the balls to just... walk.

I don't like how upset I'm getting. It feels like an emotional push away from... depression. Like I'm getting upset so that I'm actually doing something about it (even though I'm not), rather than getting sad and depressed. Like... honestly? I feel lame. I feel like a wuss. I didn't talk about fears like this for like 20 years because of it. I feel like most men my age would consider me weak, paranoid, a pussy. And that brings me to a point that I wanted to bring up - being emotionally in-touch.

I did not have this panic problem - hell, even anxiety problems - when I was on meds. However... I was much more emotionally numb. And a lot of people cultivate this effect voluntarily. In fact, it seems like culture (not just male culture, but it's definitely dominant there) actually cultivates this effect. Being "tough" and "hard" are signs of maturity, rights of passage, indicators of strength, fortitude, accomplishment. Being callous is, to many, a badge of honor. And I am a very emotional person. ... At least, I have been told that. It's easy to feel like I'm living life "wrong", and I have often been told and treated that way.

But... my passion? My joy? My raw fascination with the intricacies and beauty of life? My love? My ability to connect with people one-on-one? They all fade when you become callous. I end up living a grayscale life. I know, I've done it. It's why I got off meds. It's why I got out of my old relationship. It's not living. Not for a romantic. Not for someone whose purpose --- this is what I was getting to --- my purpose. As an artist, a musician, a poet. What the fuck am I without emotions? What am I without my passion?

I see the tragedy of my life being that on one side of the coin -> I have myself cowering from overwhelming fear and sadness, from the horrors of what this species does to each other every day, unable to find someone to help me feel safe. And on the other side -> I have myself reveling in the beauty of life, creating visual representations, writing page after page, recording music, capturing as much as I can, unable to find someone to share it with.

And it really sucks. And I really want to do something about it. I just... never imagined I would fail this many times.

I started listing how I've failed in the past few years and deleted it, rare editing moment there, I really just don't want to go down that road. And... those weren't failures. Those were people that fucked me over. And I really don't need to dwell on how former friends and former community members just threw me under the bus, or watched me get struck down unjustly, and just... skipped away like nothing happened. They're not worth my time or energy.

Ugh.

Okay, well... one more thing to unpack before good vibes, I promise.

I got a text today. That NEVER happens. It wasn't from someone trying to scam me about my "Netflix password being leaked" or something this time! It was a guy I went to highschool with. An alcoholic who works at a gas station in my old town. He lived near the house I used to live at, he let me know that he just noticed that "my house" was being demolished. And... I've been moved out since fucking December. Like... my car hasn't been in that driveway since like... November? He lives like... 2 streets up from that house. So... yeah... it was weird. He was just like... "Holy crap _____, they tore your house down", "where you living at now? How are you" I acted polite, replied that I had been moved out for a while, told him the general area of where I am, and tried to emulate what "normal people" do... by politely asking him how he's doing even though I didn't really care. And he did the same thing in return, half-answering something about home improvements and hanging out with dogs... then just said again that he was surprised to see the house gone. And then done. And all done. Yep. So... that's a thing that happened.

Why am I reacting this way to this? The guy got piss drunk, took half my incense and stuck it in the rubber skirt ring on my kayak (when i specifically asked him not to), lit it all, took the kayak out on my pond paddling and playing music really loud with a bluetooth speaker, then paddled over to my neighbors house on the pond in the kayak and yelled at them... for some reason... then came back... and then stole a full pound bag of mexican mix cheese that I had just bought and drunk drove home. And that was... shitty. But even worse? He got high with me on my porch and told me... on my own porch... smoking my own weed... that my parents were right and I should quit art and streaming and shit and get a "real job". And honestly? I'd rather he fucking mug me. I'd rather he steal my phone and sell it for crack.

I mean that. And I really need to remember that. Getting my phone stolen and sold for drugs tomorrow would be scary in the moment, but the shit he told me on my porch that evening? That was in summer 2019, I remember it vividly, like it was yesterday. That will stick with me for a long time. That is scary shit. And I can handle that. So... why the fuck am I afraid of getting mugged? XD

Ugh, it makes no goddamn sense!

Anyway, enough negative shit, let's get to the good shit. If you made it this far... this may be a bit disappointing because you can't like... see the final product to get the full effect... however...

I think I'm pretty much done with the desire path project, at least this branch of it. The animation, at least, I mean. I think the animation of the paths being drawn and the pattern forming is pretty much done. All 100 paths. I did about 30 last night, I went in and did the other 70 today, and then added in some random noise animation to the opacity and line thickness to add a kinda... flickering/pulsing effect to each line. Every line has a different light flicker, every group of 10 has a thickness noise pulse. That was me working all. day. long. About 12 hours total today, with ab 2 hours of dinner break.

Now, all I need to do is kinda... storyboard it. I need to figure out what I'm going to say about it. Then I have the first person footage of the runs, then I have the footage of the map and the final product showing the pattern forming. And I'll do some voiceover on top of it. That's the plan. We'll see how it goes, I'll get cracking on that tomorrow.

So yeah. Big ups and big downs today. But I was saving the big one for the end because it hasn't even really set in for me fully yet. It's done. And now I just have to come up with presentation. I'm going to take a moment and just play it back for myself just so I can let that concept sink in a bit, because it's not really... hitting. --- It looks really cool. :D The whole thing like... shimmers. The paths remind me of an ultrasound or something, the way they flicker and pulse, like veins. It definitely feels much more alive. I like it.

I'm going to go get ready for bed. It's 5:15 again. Ugh. It just keeps happening! -_- Oh well, it's probably less healthy for me to be beating myself up than for me to go to bed at dawn again.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

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buttercream-squad-imagines · 3 years

Text

Tinder in Real Life

Pairings: Harry Lewis x fem!Reader, Sidemen x platonic!Reader Word Count: 2k Warnings: Language some people may find offensive, sexual themes, recycled lines from Sidemen Tinder in Real Life because I'm not at all creative Request: Hey! Could you do reader x Harry imagine where the sidemen do a collab video with the reader who is also a big youtuber and Harrys celebrity crush. And during the video the reader is very flirty, leaving Harry a flustered mess when the flirting is directed towards him, but very jealous when its with any other sidemen.

The Sidemen were one of the biggest groups on YouTube and one that you were very familiar with. At the age of 23, you were a fair bit younger than some of its oldest members but yet you had a close relationship with JJ, whom you had met through YouTube.

You had started your channel when you were 17, just under four years ago, making makeup videos, which was a passion of yours when you were younger. Not that you were any good at it back then. Those videos quickly become unlisted when your channel started blowing up in late 2016, now nearing 20 million at the present time.

It wasn't long before you expanded your horizons and had started making different sorts of videos, including vlogs of your everyday life - which wasn't and still isn't that exciting in your opinion - and those where you just had a laugh, attempting to do stupid challenges that were so popular back then. It was those, however, that grew your channel. Your fans seemed to love them and so you gradually started to make more.

As your small channel began to grow significantly, it caught the attention of KSI, a member of the Sidemen, who reached out to you to for a collab. You were ecstatic. You couldn't believe it at the time, why would someone like KSI with 20 million subscribers want to collaborate with you? By that time, you couldn't exactly call yourself a small channel anymore, with almost 5 million subscribers but it still didn't make any sense to you.

You and JJ quickly bonded after filming together. You had a very similar sense of humour and interests. As the years went, the older boy became one of your best friends, the nature of your relationship being very teasing and flirtatious but the both of you knew it was a joke. It was just the way you both were.

Though despite having known him for nearing 3 years now, you had never met the rest of the Sidemen, with the exception of Simon, as he lived with JJ. Which is why when he texted asking you to collaborate with the Sidemen, you couldn't turn the offer down. You were a fan of the group and the content they were producing. You thought the videos that they made were exceptional, that they were pushing the envelope of the standard of content on YouTube and often found yourself excited for new videos.

He had explained that they were filming another of their 'Tinder in real life' but a YouTuber version with the likes of BambinoBecky and ChiWithAC. You were so excited. You were finally going to meet the rest of JJ's friends and you had the opportunity to be a part of a Sidemen Sunday.

You arrived at the studio the boys were filming at in the afternoon, finding and greeting JJ before he introduced you to the other sidemen in addition to Lux, Freezy and Stephen.

"And you've already met Simon." He finished.

"Yeah. Nice to finally meet you all. JJ tells me a lot about you guys." You laughed.

"Because that's assuring." Ethan pointed out with a chuckle, the other boys letting out agreements.

"Not all bad, I promise." You teased, winking at him. Ethan felt the blood rushing to his face, immediately becoming flustered and stumbling over his words. You found that you often had that effect on people as you could be very direct and flirtatious even when you didn't mean it. To you it was just friendly banter.

"Geez Y/N, stop flirting with people you met literally five minutes ago." JJ rolled his eyes.

"You sound a bit jealous, Jide." You smirked, a teasing grin spread across your face.

"Nah, allow it." There were eruptions of laughter around the room, coming from the boys. You were quick to notice Harry standing out of the way and was significantly quieter than the others, with what seemed to be a forced smile on his face.

Harry was in his own head, barely paying attention to what was going on around him. When JJ had told him that you were going to be in the next Sidemen video, he panicked. You were an accomplished YouTuber who he was quite fond of to say the least. Well, that would be an understatement, he had a fairly large crush on you. A crush that no one but Freezy and Lux knew about.

He knew that JJ had been friends with you for some time now but never considered the possibility of even meeting you. His anxiety acted as a barrier to even the thought of it. But he was currently in the same room as you and had said nothing more than a short 'hello'. He longed to have the confidence Ethan had to speak to you, even more so for you to look at him the way you were.

Already you were flirting with JJ and Ethan, something that caused a pit to form at the bottom of his stomach. He wouldn't admit it, but he could slowly feel the jealousy forming. Not that he had anything to be jealous about in the first place!

You continued to speak with the boys as you got your mic set up, telling them stories you were sure would embarrass JJ.

"Y/N, stop." The older boy whined. He could be like a child sometimes, but it was one of his more endearing qualities. He simply wouldn't be JJ if he wasn't.

"No, carry on." Simon laughed.

"Oh, don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from." You teased.

"I think it's time we started, don't you think?" Harry grumbled.

"Right." You smiled at the boy, who's cheeks became tinted red. He ducked to hide his face and walked around to stand in the line, hiding himself in the middle.

"Hi, I'm Y/N, I'm 23 and I'm from Y/H/T." You spoke to the camera once you were given the go ahead.

"I'm Simon, I'm 28. I like to practice safe sex."

"Always a good start."

"I could tie you to the bed, so you don't fall off." He finished with a giggle. You acted like you were pondering it for a moment before letting out a laugh and swiping right.

"I'm down for that." You teased. The boys all let out rumbles of laughter

"Hi, I'm Ethan, I'm 26 and kiss me if I'm wrong, but you're gonna swipe right."

"What would you rather?" You joked. Ethan shrugged his shoulders and walked closer to the board, sticking his head through with his lips puckered, eliciting a cry of protest from Harry that this wasn't allowed. You laughed and made an over exaggerated motion to swipe to the right, causing him to pout playfully but walked over to the right anyway.

"Hi, I'm Josh, I'm 28. KSI has a top ten single, but you're the only hot single I can see."

"Wow, that was smooth!" You said with a grin. "Definite yes from me."

"I'm Callum, I'm 26. Are you into fitness?" Freezy asked.

"Can't say I am." You replied, unsure of what turn this could take.

"How about you fitness dick in your mouth?"

"I wouldn't get too excited babes, I gag on my toothbrush." You laughed. "We could try though."

You swiped right on him, chuckling as you watched him let out a yes before joining Simon, Ethan, and Josh. You frowned slightly, a crease forming between your brows as you saw Harry whisper something furiously at his friend but ultimately got distracted by Vik stepping up to go next.

"I'm Vik, I'm 25. My ex-girlfriend always said I'd never do better than her, wanna prove her right?" You could hear the cries of the boys in the background, some scolding him, others laughing.

"Man actually said prove her right. Not wrong." JJ shrieked with a shocked look on his face, holding his head with his hands.

"You need to find someone for that." You snarked, swiping left on the boy, who shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! You got told!" Lux cackled.

"Uh hi. I'm Harry. I'm uh 25, no I'm not I'm 24." He stumbled. "Are you sure you're a muggle? Because that ass is magical."

"You should see how magical it can be." You spoke before cringing at yourself and laughing, swiping right to avoid a reply. The boy's face grew a bright shade of red, closely resembling the colour of a tomato.

"Geez, is that an offer?!" Freezy yelled from the right side. You laughed, observing how Harry whispered furiously to the boy to stop and winked at him once he had could see. Your laughter only increased as you watched JJ step up.

"I'm JJ. I'm 28 and are you a raisin? Cause you're raising my dick." The boy in question stood in front of you so confidently, hands clasped together in front of him so seriously that you just lost it. By the time you composed yourself, there were tears almost falling from your eyes.

"A* for effort." You laughed, swiping right eliciting a cry of success.

You had wrapped up filming your segment of the video, which conveniently was the last of the day. You found JJ who you spoke to whilst the other boys were otherwise occupied talking to each other.

"Cheers for coming, Y/N/N. You've been great."

"Anything for you." You joked.

"Don't tempt me." He laughed. You could feel eyes on you, eyes that were burning into your side. You turned your head to see Harry staring you and JJ down before looking away after being caught in the act, and suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"Does Harry not like me or something?" You whispered to JJ, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Not that I know of." He frowned looking at the younger boy. "He can be a bit awkward at times and gets flustered a lot."

"Right." You agreed. You excused yourself before sauntering up to the boy in question, calling his name to snap him out of the daze he appeared to be in.

"Oh, um hey Y/N." He stumbled.

"Hi." You smiled gently. "I uh, I was just wondering, do you... have I done something to offend you?"

"Offend me? Why, uh, why would you think that?" He rambled.

"It's just... it's nothing, it's probably just me overthinking things." You waved it off, feeling like a complete idiot.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the impression that I don't like you. I don't not like you, in fact I really like you! Oh, um I mean I like you, you're very pretty." The boy couldn't stop rambling which made you laugh. "No, wait."

"You think I'm pretty?" You blushed interrupting him. Harry felt his mouth go dry, not being able to get anything coherent to come out. "Well, Harry, I really like you too."

"What?" His eyebrows shot up so far it was almost comical. "Really? So, you don't like the other guys?"

"What? No." You laughed. "That's absurd. Why would you think that?"

"You seemed very..." The boy trailed off, not wanting to offend you after you had admitted to liking him.

"Flirty?" You finished, causing him to nod. "I'm like that with everyone, I don't mean to be half the time."

"Oh."

"Well, how about you give me your phone number and when you finally grow a pair, you can ask me out?" Your confidence levels had shot up spontaneously.

"Uh, sure." His cheeks had become a dark shade of red as he passed his phone to you so you could put your number in. You kept looking up at him as you typed, putting your name under 'Y/N x' in his contacts before handing it back to him.

"Y/N! Come on! We're going to Nando's!" JJ called from the other side of the room.

"Call me." You winked. Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth and was currently the only thing from stopping the wide grin from spreading across your face. A grin that hadn't disappeared from your face for the rest of the day, much to the curiosity of JJ, who was disappointed when you refused to tell him why, or more appropriately who, had put the smile on your face.

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adatheromcomaddict · 3 years

Text

How You Meet the Cullens + Jacob

Hi! I've decided I'm going to put some of my stuff from Wattpad, over here. If you want to see my Wattpad, its the same username as I have here. Anyway, this is how you meet the Cullens, + Jacob. Probably intended for female readers, but it could mostly go either way... I think. And I do have the girls as well in here.

Edward Cullen:

Edward and you met at school. Of course.

"Um, excuse me?" You asked a small girl, with short brown hair.

She turned around, revealing her pale white skin, and beautiful golden eyes.

"How can I help you?" She asked.

"I was wondering where Mr. Molina's classroom is?" You replied.

"Oh, yes. I can show you the way!" She grabbed your hand, and pulled you down the halls. (Wow, this is turning into an Alice preference)

"Thank you!" You said, when you two arrived at the classroom.

She pointed inside the room, towards a beautiful boy, with golden hair, and dark, dark, eyes. He glared at her, with his hand over his mouth. I turned to look at her, and she winked back at him.

"Uh, thank you. Oh, I never got your name." You said.

"Alice. Yours?" She asked, still smiling.

"Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, looks like you'll be sitting next to my brother, Edward, in there." She waved, and skipped away.

I walked inside the class, towards the boy, and sat down. He looked away, took a deep breath, then turned back to me.

"Hi, um, I'm Y/N. You're Edward, right?" I asked.

"Yes. I-I am." He seemed like he was in pain or something.

Weird.

Jacob Black:

I had lived in the outermost part of Forks for as long as I have lived. (Sounds like a wedding vow)

We were right next to the border of La Push. Therefore, I go to the school in the reservation.

(I have absolutely NO clue what the school is like there, so I'm making it up)

But, I didn't really talk to anyone. I had a few friends from down in the more central part of Forks, Bella Swan was one of them. She recently moved here full time. I hadn't seen her since I was little.

There was this one kid named Jacob who I had met a couple of times, mostly when he played with Bella snd I while our parents went fishing or whatever.

But, since Bella was going to school in Forks, I decided I would try and re-connect with this Jacob, to see if I could hang out with him.

So, I asked around one day at school for what classes he was in, and found out that he was in one of my classes. How did I never notice? Oh, just me and my oblivious self. (Sorry, if you're like- not oblivious?)

Well, I found him one day.

"Jacob, right?" I asked him.

"Oh, yes, oh, oh! Y/N! Hi!" He seemed to be a very nice boy.

"Yes, it's me. Um, I haven't talked to you in years, I'm surprised you remember my name." I explained.

"I'm surprised you remembered mine." He laughed.

"So, uh, I"m kind of wondering if you want to like, hang out or something. Anywhere works. I just need some company." (Bella who?)

"Sire! You could come by my house today after school and we can catch up. Do you like cars?" He asked.

"Depends." I laughed in response.

"Well, you can come help me too. I like to re-build them."

"Sounds like a plan."

Emmett Cullen:

(for this one you are a vampire already, and yes I basically stole Rosalie's life. Also, if I get facts wrong, don't come for me, just tell me *kindly* and I will fix it)

I became a vampire in 1920. Two years after my brother Edward, and one year before my mother Esme.

I'd been a vampire for 15 years already. How time flies

One day I was running through the forest when I heard screams coming from a small patch. I sprinted towards the place, and saw a boy, probably 20, getting attacked by a bear. I shoved the bear off of him instantly, and bit into it, getting it's blood.

I remembered that the boy was watching, and was probably shaken up, not to mention, he was most likely dying. I turned back towards him, wiping a small bit of blood off of my lip, and said,

"Hello, I'm Y/N Cullen."

"E-Emmet. How did you do that?" He asked, very weakly.

"I have my ways. What hurts?" I asked.

"Everything." Of course-

"I'll be right back. Don't move." Not that he really could. I sprinted back to my house. I opened the door, and Carlisle, Esme, and Edward turned towards me.

"Y/N? What is it?" Carlisle asked.

"There's a boy, Emmett. He got attacked by a bear. He's very weak. You need to turn him Carlisle."

They all sprinted into the woods, and I led them towards where Emmett lay. He was still there, but weaker.

Jasper Hale:

(you're a vampire)

Jasper became a vampire in 1863. (I think)

He was telling me his story.

I had recently been turned into a vampire by Carlisle, after he rescued me, and I hadn't really met the rest of the family yet. (You can make up why you had to become a vampire)

When Jasper had finished the story, I said, "Wow."

"That's all I could get out. His story was just, wow....

I forgot, Edward could read my mind. I only remembered when he chuckled after I thought that.

I gave him an internal glare.

Bella was sitting in the corner, with him.

"So, Y/N, tell us your full story." Jasper smiled.

(Sorry, his is kind of short..)

Carlisle Cullen:

It was my first day working at the Forks Hospital and I needed some directions.

I walked up to mid-height man, with blonde hair, and very pale skin.

"Hello, sir?" I asked him, and he spun around.

"Yes, Ms. Y/L/N?" He asked.

"H-how do you know my last name?" I asked in response.

"I heard someone talking about you coming, and you're the only new face around here. We don't get them often." He smiled, and my heart fluttered. Good thing he wasn't like a super-hearer or anything. {;)}

"Well, uhm, I was just wondering where the surgical ward is?" He pointed towards the left, and I smiled slightly, walking away, and quietly looking back at him after I was sure he couldn't see me.

Alice Cullen:

(You had already seen Alice before, but never interacted with her much, like most of the students)

I was walking around in the forest, when I heard footsteps.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Y/N!" A girl replied, I noticed it was Alice Cullen.

"Oh, hello, Alice." I was a bit confused to how she knew my name, but to be honest, I knew her's too and that's a bit strange. But, everyone does talk about the Cullens.

"What are you doing out here in the forest?" She asked me. I didn't have a valid answer. I could say "Just felt like taking a stroll..." or "Oh, I'm working on my steps." but, none of those were true, I really didn't know what I was doing here.

"Uhm, working on my steps, and taking a stroll....??" I questioned myself.

"Oookay then. Would you like to come with me? I can show you some of my favorite spots to relax." The way she said relax made me think she wasn't relaxing, and probably meant running around and exercising. Just what I needed.

"Sure, sounds great." I smiled.

Rosalie Hale:

Everyone that lives in Forks knows about the Cullens. Even the people in the reservation.

There's the three boys, the goofy one, the silent one, and the constipated one.

Then there's the two girls. Alice and Rosalie.

I've talked to Alice, we've said hi.

But in general, I know nothing about Rosalie.

All I know is she is incredibly smart, beautiful, and did I mention gorgeous?

I've never had the guts to talk to her. Maybe it's that I'm a wimp, or maybe it's that she is very intimidating. Probably a mixture of both.

But today, I got lucky, and didn't have to talk to her. She talked to me.

I had noticed her eyeing me a few times, and I never knew if she was looking down on me, in a bad way, or if she was interested in me. Both ways scared me.

Today, she came up to me.

I was sitting at the lunch table with Angela and Jessica, and the new kid, Bella.

"Y/N, can I talk to you really quick?" She asked.

"Uh, uh, yes, yes, sure." I stood up quickly, and while walking away with her, I turned towards Angela and Jess, and they smiled and winked.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Well, I wanted to know... did you want to hang out sometime?"

"Like, a date...?"

"Uh, yeah. Like a date." She smiled and we both laughed.

"Sure." I smiled back.

Bella Swan:

Apparently, today Chief Swan's daughter is moving to the school.

I'm looking forward to it, I want to make more friends.

I was standing outside, waiting to see if I spotted her, when a big, orange-red truck pulled into the parking lot.

It must be her! I've never seen that truck before.

I ran up to it, when I saw people laughing at it. Whatever, I think it's cool.

She climbed out of her truck, and I probably startled her, standing there.

"Hi! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. You're Chief Swan's daughter, right?" I asked.

"Uh, yes. Bella Swan." She stuck out her hand, and I shook it.

"So, do you want to know anything, anything special?" I asked.

"Um, I'm not sure...." She said, tucking her hair behind her ear. (Ugh, a classic Bella move)

"No worries. Let me show you to your first class." I smiled, and took her hand, pulling her down the hallway.

Esme Cullen:

I was walking around town, alone. A kind of dangerous move, since there have been so many mysterious attacks lately.

I was looking through random stores, when I noticed Esme Platt, (we're just saying she isn't a Cullen because I guess they aren't married...????) Carlisle Cullen's old friend. (I don't even know how to write this...)

"Hi, Esme." I said.

"Oh, hello, Y/N." She smiled.

"How have you been?" I haven't seen her in a while. We've talked a few times.

"I've been good, how have you been?" She replied.

"I'm great. We really should catch up sometime." I said, trying to be subtle.

"Yes, we should. Do you want to go to lunch tomorrow?" She asked.

"Of course! Where do you want to go?"

"Don't worry about me. I won't eat much anyway."

******

So, yeah, that's it. I'm aware that these aren't perfection, bur they were fun to write so, yeah!

I will be posting a lot more now since I'm getting really into writing again ;)

Thank you all for reading, (not that a ton of people are going to read this lol)

And yeah, see you soon! :3

-Ada

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xoxo-teddybear · 3 years

Note

Heyo! I'm a REALLY REALLY REALLY! Big fan of angst and your works, so I have a suggestion! So like, in this au Bakugou and Y/N are aged up and they have a daughter (let's just say her name is either Katsumi or Kirumi). So, the child is 4 years old and she didn't get her quirk yet. Let's just say Bakugou got drunk when his friends dragged him to a bar and this woman decided to hit him up and let's just say he cheated- so Y/N found out because kiri just had to tell her because it wasn't manly at all for him to keep a secret and Y/N left him with his child and boom! Bad ending. Please tag me in this one tyy!

Bet.

(Changed it up the slightest bit to make Katsumi remember bc I kinda wanna do a part 2 for this)

Nobody to Blame but Yourself - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, cheating, alcohol consumption

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

You have a small, beautiful family. Your loving husband, Katsuki and your adorable daughter, 5 year old Katsumi.

Katsumi was your precious baby girl. She had Katsuki’s ash blonde hair with your silky smooth hair texture. She had your E/C eyes and Katsuki’s porcelain skin. She had Katsuki’s bravery and boldness along with your kindness and compassion. She was a perfect mix of you both.

Y/N and Katsuki have been together ever since their childhood. Their families were close and they grew up together. Katsuki always swore to protect his princess. They got together in their junior year and about 5 years after they graduated from UA high, Katsuki proposed.

—

“Be back soon, okay Suki?” You sweetly said to your husband as he got closer to the door. He pulled you in with a smile and pecked your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah Teddy Bear. I’ll probably be back sooner than you think, don’t even wanna go with those losers.” He complained with a strained face. You giggled at his expression and went on.

“Those losers have been your best friends since high school. You love them. You know you do,” you teased. “Besides, you haven’t spent some time with them in forever.”

“Yeah Y/N. I’m a husband and a dad. I don’t need to be around my friends, I need to be with my family.” He exclaimed with a playful voice.

“Well your family will still be here when you get back. Just as long as you always come back to us too.” You said with a wink.

“Always will Teddy Bear.” He said holding you tight. He held you close until you both heard the little pitter patter of feet running to the front door. You both looked down and saw your daughter in her pjs and watched as she jumped onto Katsuki.

“Be back soon daddy!” She said with a squeal. Katsumi was definitely a daddy’s girl. Her and her father were attached at the hip the second she was born. They were best friends and you loved their father-daughter dynamic.

“Katsumi, you’re supposed to be sleeping, love.” You said with a chuckled as you held her tiny hand while Katsuki picked her up in his arms.

“I wanted to say bye to daddy before he went to see uncle Kiri! And uncle Denki and uncle Sero and Auntie Mina!” She said and watched as you and Bakugou lip synced to her voice as she said the Bakusquad’s names. She laughed at her parent’s teasing as Katsuki assaulted her in kisses.

“That’s sweet baby bear. Don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. So get to bed you brat,” Bakugou said as he placed his daughter down and ruffled her hair. Others would look down on the rough treatment but you knew Katsumi never took it seriously. She always laughed and played back with Katsuki whenever he put on his ‘mean guy act.’

“M’kay.” Katsuki bent down to kiss her cheek and you followed doing the same action before Katsumi ran back off to her room. You and Katsuki said bye to each other after Katsuki gave you a loving kiss. He walked out the door to meet with his friends as he knew he was in for a long night.

It would soon shock him to see how true that statement would be.

—

The night was going well. Katsuki left around 8:30 and he said he would be back sooner than you thought so considering he was now a family man, you thought he’d be back by midnight. However, you woke up in the middle of the night and saw it was 3 in the morning...and he still wasn’t home. You were starting to get worried now.

If this was back in your earlier years of marriage, you’d say this was okay. Not great but okay, except now, Katsuki has responsibilities and promises that he vowed to keep. He should’ve been home a long time ago. Where was he? You stayed up deciding to sit and wait for him to come home and after almost 2 hours, your phone rang.

You picked it up quickly with a little bit of fear and anger sitting in your stomach. You didn’t even bother to check who it was so when you heard the voice of your husband’s best friend instead of Katsuki, you grew concerned.

“Katsuki! Where are you?!” You asked with worry as you slightly shouted into the phone.

“Hey Y/N..... It’s Kirishima. Umm...I have something to tell you.” He said with sadness detected in his voice.

“Kiri? Is everything alright? Wheres Katsuki?” You asked.

“I’m so sorry Y/N...”

Listening to the red head’s voice made your eyes pop. Your body trembled and tears began to pool in your eyes as you shook your head in denial. Katsuki loved you. You both had a daughter! A family! He would never....he wouldn’t....right? After talking to your friend for some time and getting the crucial information you needed, you made up your mind on what you had to do.

“T-Thank you, Kirishima. Goodnight.” You said into the phone with a hiccup.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You don’t deserve this. You and Katsumi....goodnight.” He said and hung up the phone. You placed it down and sat in silence for a moment. After about a minute, you broke down again and cried into your hands. You sobbed as tears flowed down your cheeks. Rivers of heartbreak and anger streamed down your face as you cried the night away.

Well..you couldn’t cry all night. Katsuki would probably be back in the morning and you had plans. You’d have to save your tears for later. You looked at the time.

4:18 a.m.

You set your alarm for 6 and went back to bed. The whole night, all you could think about was your precious baby girl. This was going to break her little heart. Instead of crying over your husband’s betrayal, you wept for your daughter’s future without her best friend. Eventually you cried yourself to sleep and the sun rose in time.

—

10:00 a.m

Katsuki opened his eyes to the alarm on the nightstand. He yawned a bit before adjusting his eyes to morning light. The more he looked at the stand, the more he realized he didn’t recognize it. Nor the alarm clock. He looked around and noticed he wasn’t in his bedroom. Katsuki shot up and sat on the bed and looked down to notice he was completely undressed. He looked to the side and saw some random woman. A complete stranger who was also naked in bed with him. His heart grew rapid as his eyes grew frantic.

“No, no, no, no, no, no this can’t be happening..this can’t be happening!” Katsuki said as his hands found way to his hair as he tugged on the blonde locks. The woman next to him awoken to his shuffling and smiled up at him. She placed her hand on his bare chest and cuddled in close to him as she sighed in content.

“G’morning handsome. Had a fun night?” She teased, reminding him of his affair and unloyal actions.

“Get the fuck off me!” He said as he jumped out of bed and found his pants. He pulled them on and continued to scream. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! The hell did you do to me you fucking slut?”

“What’re you talking about? And who the fuck are you calling a slut?” The woman said with sass.

“Just tell me where I am!” Katsuki demanded.

“A hotel! You know, the hotel you dragged me to so you could get your dick wet.” She said as she sat up from the bed but still covered herself with the blanket.

“Why the fuck would I do that?!” He screamed.

“You tell me. All I know is that I saw you in that bar, you drank a hell of a lot with your friends, I came up to you and flirted with you, you flirted back, we shared a few more drinks, and you dragged me here. I mean, I consented of course but still.” The stranger explained. Bakugou shook as he looked around in a frenzy. “Anyway, round 2?”

“You fucking bitch, I have a wife!” He screamed at her as he got himself dressed.

“Heh, wow. Well when your wife leaves you after she finds out you cheated, give me a call.” The woman said as she layed back down on the bed. Katsuki seethed at her as he squinted his eyes in disgust.

“You shameless slut. Like hell I will! And Y/N’s not gonna leave me! She loves me! And I love her-“

“Sure didn’t seem like it last night~” the woman said. Bakugou had enough and blasted the bed she was on with his quirk before cussing her out and leaving her there. He quickly ran out the hotel and found his car. He hopped inside and started it as he quickly sped off home.

“Shit!” Bakugou screamed at himself. How could he do that?! How could he cheat on you?! You were his everything! You and Katsumi! His two girls were his entire world! And he betrayed the both of you by doing this. He could only hope that you wouldn’t find out. He can’t tell you what he did. He would lose you! He can’t lost you! This whole thing just has to pass over and things will be fine. Right? Well something didn’t sit right with him as he inched closer and closer to his house.

—

When the 6 o’clock alarm rang, you woke up, ready for the day to begin and the drama to unfold. You were quick to get yourself ready. Brush your teeth, shower, get dressed, a little makeup, and you packed your important belongings and your clothes. Everything else would be replaceable. You put on a pair of shoes and put the rest in the large suitcase you had.

You made a quick call to Mina, assuming she already knew what happened. You asked if you could drop Katsumi off for some time and she of course said yes. After saying ‘thank you,’ you brought all your bags into your car and went back inside to get your daughter.

You walked into your daughter’s bedroom to see her sleeping peacefully. Next to her bed, a framed picture of your once happy family. It was Katsumi’s 4th birthday and she didn’t want to spend it with anybody else except for Mommy and Daddy. Now, you were gonna have to take someone out the picture. You shook your daughter awake and watched as she opened her beautiful E/C eyes that resembled your own.

“Katsumi..hey baby, wake up.” You softly said with a reassuring smile to not alarm her. You watched as she rubbed her eyes with her tiny fist and looked up at you.

“Mommy? What’s going on?” She asked as she looked around in a daze.

“You’re gonna have a little play date at Auntie Mina and Uncle Kiri’s house. Uncle Denki and Uncle Sero will be there too! You excited?” You asked with enthusiasm to hide your pain.

“Really Mommy?!” Your daughter asked with excitement.

“Mhm! Get ready and get dressed for Mommy. They’ll be here at 8, okay?” You said rubbing your daughter’s back before she quickly jumped out of bed and into her own bathroom.

“Okay Mommy!” She said as she ran into the bathroom, turning on the sink to begin her morning routine. Some time passed and Katsumi got dressed and you went back in her room to help her dry her hair. You helped her put on her shoes and by the time they were on, Mina and Kiri were already at the door.

You opened it with a soft smile and the couple looked at you with supportive, sad eyes. “Hey guys..”

“It’s okay to be sad Y/N, we’re here for you.” Mina said. Your eyes teared up at her words but you shook your head and gave her a hug.

“Thank you, but I promise myself I wouldn’t cry. At least, not when Katsumi’s around. I gotta be strong for her. Her whole life’s about to change after all.” You sadly said as you looked down and released your hold on Mina. Your pink friend nodded before walking into the house to find Katsumi in her bedroom. You and Kirishima stayed at the door and talked a bit more.

“I’m so sorry for all of this Y/N. I should’ve been watching him more.” Kirishima said as he looked down in sorrow.

“Kiri, you shouldn’t have to watch him. He cheated and that was his choice. Your choice was being a true friend and telling me. A true man,” you joked. You both gave a little bittersweet laugh before calming down again. “Thank you so much Kirishima.”

The red head did nothing but pull you in for a tight hug. You almost cried on his shoulder before your daughter came to the both of you. “Uncle Kiri!”

You both separated and looked down at the excited 5 year old. She jumped onto her uncle and he happily held her in his arms. “Hey squirt. Ready for a day full of fun?”

“Mhm!” Katsumi replied. You all talked some more before Katsumi said her goodbye to you and went off with Kirishima and Mina. You shut the door and took a break as you allowed a few silent tears to drop. You wiped them away and went to pack your daughter’s bags. Just a few more hours and he’d be home..probably. All you knew was that you’d have to face him eventually.

Finally, you finished packing your daughter’s things and placed them in your car. You put on a jacket and waited for Katsuki to walk through the doors. Soon, this perfect little family would go crumbling to the ground.

—

Katsuki pulled into his driveway and his eyes took notice of your car still there. He smiled at the sight and quickly got out of the car. He slammed the vehicle door shut and ran to the entrance. He unlocked the door in a rush and to say he was happy to see you on the couch, still there, was an understatement.

“Y/N! Hey Teddy Bear! I am so sorry!” He said as he ran to you and sat down next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a tight hug. He was too happy to even notice your jacket and shoes that you wore.

“Katsuki, you were gone all night. Where were you?” You said in a soft voice as you placed your hand on his chest so you could face him.

“I-..I overdid it and spent the night at Kirishima’s. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, love. I was passed out the whole night.” He said and attempted to pull you in again but you pressed a hand to his chest to stop him. You couldn’t believe he was going to lie to you. Actually, now that you think about it, cheating wasn’t below him so why would lying be either?

“So why didn’t Kirishima call me? Or Mina?” You questioned. Unfortunately, you underestimated Katsuki’s quick tongue. He was a good liar, and if you hadn’t already known the truth, you’d probably believe him.

“Shitty hair’s phone died and Alien girl was asleep by the time we got back. By the time he put me in the guest bed, I knocked out so don’t asked me what happened after.” He said. Your anger and fury grew at his lies but he didn’t notice. “Look, I’m so sorry I came back so late but I can make it up to you Teddy Bear. Now would you just give me a hu-“

“SHUT! UP!” You screamed as you pushed him off of you. You stood up from the couch and Bakugou watched you in “confusion.” Bakugou felt his heart racing as he had a guess at why you were so mad but he refused to believe it.

“T-Teddy Bear, whats wrong?” He asked with shaky hands as he tried to reach out to you but you dodged all his attempts.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! You’re fucking lying to me! You’re lying to me after doing what you did! Katsuki, are you just gonna act like you don’t know what you did?! Because I know! So why don’t you?!” You screamed at him. Bakugou still couldn’t believe you knew so he tried his soft attempts once more and reached out to you again.

“Baby, please calm dow-“

“Are you fucking serious Katsuki? You’re gonna tell me to calm down?!” You laughed out in disbelief. You watched as Katsuki’s lip began to tremble and he looked down in shame. “Say it.”

“What?” He spoke softly.

“Say what you did.”

“......”

“Say it Katsuki! Tell me what you did and how you betrayed not only me but your daughter too.” You specified. It took Bakugou a second before he spoke up in a soft, quiet voice.

“I cheated on you...”

“Louder.”

“I cheated on you!” He said while standing up and facing you with tears in his eyes. “I cheated on you! Okay?! I got drunk last night and slept with someone else but baby I swear I didn’t mean it!” He said as he walked to you and tried to hold you. You once again pushed his hands away before speaking back.

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not Katsuki! You still did it!” Your voice grew dry as it began to break. Your eyes pooled with tears as you continued. “I would’ve NEVER done that to you. I wouldn’t even be CAPABLE of doing that to you Katsuki! Because I love you!”

“I love you Y/N! I swear I do!” He fought back but you retaliated.

“It doesn’t seem like it! Because you slept with someone else! You promised me you would never hurt me. You promised you would always protect me. You promised me that you loved me and only me! Not only that but you promised your daughter that you would never bring harm to her! Guess what?! You’re the reason her whole life is going to be so fucked Katsuki! Do you realize that?!” You screamed at him.

“I do, Teddy Bear, I do!” He said.

“Don’t fucking call me that Katsuki!” You said with an exasperated voice. Bakugou shook his head as he walked to you and kneeled infront of you.

“Baby, please! I’m sorry! I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake but if we can forget about this I promise I’ll make it up to you!” He begged.

“Forget? Forget?! Are you insane?! I’m never gonna be able to forget any of this Katsuki. How the hell am I supposed to forget that my first friend, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything betrayed me like this! How am I supposed to forget that my husband, who I’ve known since we were fucking babies, cheated on me?! Tell me!” You said as the tears finally fell.

“I don’t know...I don’t know but I promise I can make it up to you! So please forgive me! Please stay!” He pleaded. The whole time he couldn’t let go of you. Every time you pushed him off, he just came right back.

“How am I supposed to trust that you’ll actually keep that promise?” You said softly with a sad voice. “If it wasn’t clear already, I’m not staying. We’re getting a divorce, Katsuki.”

Bakugou felt his heart shatter. He looked at you with his trembling body and shaky irises. “W-What?”

“Katsuki...you cheated. There’s no other way around it. No explanations or excuses. And you can’t even blame it on the alcohol because I’ve been blackout drunk before too and the idea of cheating on you never even crossed my mind. You have nobody to blame but yourself.” You said with a broken voice and a shrug. “We’re getting a divorce and I’m taking Katsumi with me.” You said and began to walk to the door.

Bakugou couldn’t believe what he just heard and so he got up from his knees and ran after you. He ran in front of you and held you by the shoulders. “What?! No! Baby!! Please, that’s my daughter! You can’t just take her from me, please!”

“I won’t be taking her from you,” you said and pushed his hands off your shoulders. “We can co-parent, but when she’s old enough, when Katsumi asks why we’re no longer together, I’ll be telling her the truth. So you can still see her, but when she’s ready to know, if she decides she hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again, then you’ll have to accept it.”

At this point, Katsuki began to openly cry as he allowed his fat tears to flow down his face. Hiccups left his mouth as he shamelessly sobbed infront of you. “Y-Y/N....please don’t go. You guys are my family, you’re both my entire world..I-I love you both so much,” he said and went in to grab your hand, which you allowed. “I know I hurt you both a-and I know I fucked up, but please just give me another chance. I swear this was just a mistake, I never meant to do it. Please stay...please let me fix my mistake. I love you.”

Tears once again filled your eyes but you didn’t allow them to flow. “.....I love you too Katsuki,” at those words, Bakugou felt a bit of hope. “But I just can’t stay with you. If it was just me..I probably would give you another chance..but Katsumi is your daughter Katsuki. She’s your own flesh and blood and you betrayed her. You’re supposed to be her hero and you betrayed her like this. I just can’t trust the fact that you won’t do something like this again, and not just for my sake but for our daughter’s too. I’m sorry, but this is where we end.”

Once you said that you walked away from Bakugou, leaving him in shock. He stood there, regretting everything. Not just his mistake, but all the times where he could’ve been a better husband.

‘I should’ve held her more..I should’ve been home more...I should’ve been more for them,’ he thought until he heard the door open and slam shut. He turned to face it and looked around the now very empty house. He allowed silent tears to drip down his face and then he took a little tour of his new environment.

He walked to the master bedroom and saw all your belongings gone. He saw your closet was empty, all your shoes gone. He went into the bathroom and saw all your stuff was missing. The tears flowed faster and when he walked into his daughter’s room, it made it 10x worse.

He opened the door to the pink room and saw her bedsheets missing, all her toys gone, her closet was barren, and her bathroom was hollow. He walked back out to his little girl’s former bed and sat down. He cried on the bed and sobbed into his hands. He broke down as he thought back to your words. You were right.

‘You have nobody to blame but yourself.’

Katsuki looked up from his hands and when he did, he took notice of the picture frame that was left faced down on the night stand. He picked it up and his heart turned to dust. It couldn’t break anymore. He looked at the picture of his once happy family. His beautiful wife, his blessing of a daughter. His two girls who had a protector...that protector was supposed to be him...and he failed. He smiled at the picture but continued to cry. It was a beautiful sight but you left it behind.

He took the picture with him as he walked to his bedroom. He sat on the bed and held the frame close to his chest as he layed down on the cold mattress. Tears still freely fell as a shadow casted over his eyes. No words could be said except for a few.

“N-Nobody to blame but myself.”

@darl1ngmei

A/N: Hey Cubs! It’s been awhile since my requests have been closed AND THEY STILL ARE but the reason why I took this one was because I’ve been on a writing spree recently (I literally have 15 drafts full of different writing pieces🤣) and I rly liked this request! Please don’t start sending requests because they may just get lost. When I open up my requests, then you guys can send some because I love to satisfy! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this piece and thank you to the cub who requested this! 🧸💗

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midgardianweasley · 3 years

Text

The Royal Ball

Loki laufeyson x Fem!reader

Summary: There is an Asgard ball being hosted in the palace, Y/N is yet to find a date to accompany her. She’s disappointed when a certain God doesn’t ask her, however, what happens when he sees someone else getting a little too close for comfort throughout the night?

Warnings: lil bit angsty, self doubt, JEALOUS LOKI, fluffy ending

Word Count: 3.3k

Message/ask if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

Requests are open loves <3

Y/F/N - Your Friend’s Name

It was a beautiful autumn’s day, crisp brown leaves were falling off of the large trees in the courtyard and scattering the cobbled ground. Loki and I had been wandering around for some time now, discussing everything from the books we’ve been reading to the dreams that have come to us in our sleep.

“And then this huge ghost thing was chasing me around the halls! and if that wasn’t weird enough, you popped up-”

“Ah, seeing me in your dreams are we, darling?” Loki chuckled, taking great pleasure at the fact that he had made an appearance in my subconscious, completely ignoring my distress at being chased by a supernatural being.

“Funny you should say that, right after seeing you, I woke up. The sight must’ve given me quite the scare.” I scoffed, a smile unable to stop itself from making its way onto my face, eyes meeting his, face etched with shock. With a hand to his chest, he spoke again in disbelief.

“You have truly offended me, love. I never knew you had this side to you.”

“What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents.” I winked, nudging his side slightly with my elbow.

“Really? Can you produce illusions?”

“No.”

“Look inside other people’s heads?”

“Well, no, but-”

“Turn yourself into a snake to scare your eight year old brother?”

“I still can’t believe you did that”

“My greatest achievement yet.” He smirked, the memory never failing to amuse him.

His stories always had me in awe of his capabilities, even if it was to give his brother a long-term fear, it was still an incredible talent. Whenever he tells me of his latest adventures or tricks, I always think of how well his title fits him. God of Mischief. Maybe that’s why I liked him much more than what a best friend should, not that I'd ever admit it. Not to him anyway.

We soon found ourselves standing next to one of the windows of the hallway, the crystal clear glass giving a beautiful view of the city of Asgard. From here, you could see the Queen’s gardens, full of flowers in all different colours and types, grass cut to perfection. You could see the families in the town, walking around the different buildings, children playing. It was lovely to watch, seeing everyone enjoy the seasonal weather and the light bounce off of the windows, it was ethereal.

“I never get tired of this.” I sighed, voice only slightly above a whisper

“Tired of what, love?”

“Just, this. This view, this kingdom, it’s incredible.” I looked up at Loki, trying to see if he was seeing the same beauty that I did. He was already looking at me when I met his eyes and upon seeing the way they sparkled, I assumed he did.

“Actually, speaking of the Kingdom, I have something to tell you. There’s-”

Abruptly stopping him from continuing his sentence, voices were heard from the other end of the hallway, though we couldn’t make out the words until they came closer. We gave each other a quick look of confusion before turning to see where the commotion was coming from, hearing the quick and heavy footsteps before being able to put names to the faces.

“Loki! Y/N!” A deep voice bellowed. Was that Thor making all of that noise?

Before I could process any more information, a blur of a pastel pink dress was in my face and hands were placed on my shoulders. I smiled down at the slightly out of breath figure using me as a support stand, it was Y/F/N.

“Wow, Y/F/N, you sound much different than when I spoke to you yesterday, did you drink something funny?” I chuckled, receiving a glare from my friend and a quiet laugh from the God beside me. Thor soon appeared next to Y/F/N, hands on his hips and head thrown back as he tried to compose himself.

“My God, Y/F/N, you run fast.” He pants.

“Care to tell us why you’re both running like madmen through the palace?” Loki speaks, one eyebrow raised in curiosity and what looked a little like concern.

“We..had to..tell you..there’s a ball..next week.” Y/F/N spoke, a bit more stable now, but still in between breaths.

I felt my eyes widen, a ball? I didn’t know Asgard held balls.

“Father is opening up the palace next week to neighbouring kingdoms, in hopes to be closer with them, open Asgard up to more trade opportunities, build relationships and whatnot.” Thor explained, emitting a loud sigh to come from Loki.

“I was just about to tell her, brother. Thank you for interrupting.” He rolled his eyes, half joking, half serious. I reached up and patted his shoulder gently, a small smile on my face.

“Maybe next time Lok” He nodded in response, I didn’t get a chance to comfort him much more before I was being pulled away by Y/F/N. With a small huff of surprise, I gave Loki a glance, silently apologising for our conversation being cut short, receiving a shake of his head in reply, affirming me to not worry about it.

“So.” she begins. “We need to find you a date and a dress. I’m thinking blue. I’m wearing purple so it’s probably best to avoid that one. Hmm. let’s see..oh! I know! we could- Y/N? You listening?” I snapped my head around, not missing the sly smile that was plastered all over my friend’s face.

“Y/F/N, don’t-”

“Loki! He has to be your date. You could wear green and match! If he’s even going to wear green, I'm sure I can get Thor to find out, I assume they’ll get ready together. And black accessories! I have so many ideas.” She clapped her hands, over-excited about the opportunity to plan this evening for us. Except for one minor detail.

“That sounds great, Y/F/N, it sounds wonderful, you’re just missing something.”

“Missing something? Oh, if you mean our hair then i’ve already-”

“No, not our hair. Loki hasn’t asked me, and I doubt he will.” I spoke, the second half coming out more as a whisper, my heart dropping a little at the thought. He’d never really expressed having those kinds of feelings for me and I'd always seen him be close with different girls around the palace, he’ll probably ask one of them.

“He might ask you, you never know what’s around the corner.”

“I guess so, we’ll have to wait and see.”

And that was the last we spoke of it before she went into full planner mode again, while I continued to ponder over all of the thoughts running through my head. I mean, he could ask me, right?

--------------------------

He didn’t.

After talking about it with Y/F/N, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I was wrong, maybe I hadn’t noticed something that she had, that Loki would approach me and ask me to be his company for the evening.

I spent the next couple of days with him, hoping he would ask me, everytime a pause would appear in conversation, maybe he was finally going to do it. And everytime, a little bit of the hope I had, had fizzled out.

I’d even considered other reasons as to why he hadn’t asked, maybe the King didn’t want him and Thor to have dates so that they could mingle with members of the other kingdoms. Of course that theory had flown right out one of the Palace’s windows when Y/F/N told me that Thor was going to be her date. I was right then, he wasn’t wanting to go with me.

I guess I understood, I’m the best friend, we’d always been that. I think a part of me just thought that maybe he, like me, wanted something a little more. Clearly, I was mistaken.

Y/F/N and I had been getting ready for a while now, our hair was styled to perfection, our dresses were on and both of us were fully accessorized. We were looking at ourselves in the mirror, doing spins and curtseys and gushing over how good the other looked.

“You look amazing tonight, Y/N, really. Loki is missing out.”

“Thank you, and I'm sure his date is beautiful.” I spoke, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress, trying to avoid the subject and the twisting knot in my stomach at the thought of him with someone else all night. “You look incredible! You were right to pick purple, it’s definitely your colour.”

“Y/N’s right, you look gorgeous.” Thor declared, leaning against the doorway sporting a black suit and a dark purple tie, the perfect match with his date’s dress. I could feel my eyes light up when seeing how happy the simple, yet effective comment had made Y/F/N. Rushing over, she engulfed Thor in a hug before leaning up slightly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Ah and can’t forget, Y/N, you look stunning tonight.” He gestured to me, arm almost scanning me up and down.

“Stop, you’ll make me blush.” I laughed. “You both head off, I’ll catch up.”

“Are you sure? We don’t mind waiting?” Y/F/N questioned.

“Don’t be silly. You guys go on ahead, I'll meet you there.”

With a nod and a wave, they were off. They really did look like a perfect match tonight. I continued to look at myself in the mirror, fixing any stray hairs, flattening any kinks in my dress. Realistically, I was probably trying to prolong leaving for as long as I could. I was excited, but I was turning up on my own while everyone else had someone, it was a bit nerve-wracking. I still wanted to look my best though.

“Stop trying to convince yourself that you look good, you could literally blow an army of men away by looks alone.” A voice spoke, I spun to see who was speaking, the flash of green was enough to decipher who it was.

“You look lovely tonight, darling.” He grinned, the pet name had set off butterflies in my stomach.

“Thank you. As do you.”

“Well, I did put in an effort, nice to know it’s appreciated.” He joked, a breathy laugh left my lips, entertained by his words.

“Yes, well, I'm sure plenty of others will too.”

“The eyes will never leave me, I'm sure. Unless they’re on you, then I'd be surprised if I get even so much as a glimpse in my direction. Someone is a very lucky guy tonight, that’s for sure.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked, confused by his statement.

“Well, they get to be beside you all evening, it’s a beautiful view.” He winked.

It could’ve been you, I thought. I knew he was joking, however that didn’t stop the fire in me from igniting.

“I could say the same for you, someone is a very lucky girl.”

“I’ll be sure to let her know if she ever thinks otherwise.” Joking, again.

So he had asked someone. Albeit disappointed, I'm happy he’s happy. Though I still wish I was the girl in question, I couldn't stop him if he was interested in someone else. That wasn’t fair.

Giving him a brief nod and a tight lipped smile, I picked up the front of my dress a little bit and made my way out of the room and downstairs to the ball. I could still enjoy myself, the night is young, I've got this.

------------------

“It was crazy! And let me tell you, my dad was so angry with me. He didn’t let me serve Turkey again after that year.” Charlie, a guy that I had met an hour or so ago, finished his story of the Christmas horror he had, allowing me to relax for the first time that evening. Up until now, it had felt like all I’d seen was either happy couples, or stares from across the room. Usually the second and usually Loki. The same Loki who had a girl’s arm linked with his and was looking at him like he held the world in his grasp. I broke the gaze, finding it difficult to look at the pair for any longer, as I turned back to Charlie so he could have my attention again, a lazy smile was present as he took a sip of his wine.

“I don’t blame him, really, it sounds like you started a riot!” I exclaimed, sending us both into a full on belly laugh, thinking back to the story. This continued for another five or so minutes, laughter turning into a low chuckle, as if we were about to be told off for how loud we were being. Just as my hand had reached his arm to help hold me up, saving me from laughing myself into the ground, Loki and his date had made their way over.

“Enjoying ourselves, I hope?” He beamed, taking one look at me before giving his full attention to Charlie.

“Yes, yes we are, thank you. How about the two of you?”

“Ye-”

“It’s been fine, yeah, good. So, what’s your name then?” Loki interrupted, his date having no choice but to leave him to respond instead.

“I’m Charlie Fernsby.” He held his hand out, greeting Loki. A gesture that was very awkwardly not reciprocated as he let his hand fall back to his side before Loki spoke up again.

“Charlie..Charlie, now, isn’t that a girl’s name?”

“Loki!” I scolded, giving him an evil side glance, what was he doing?

“No, no it’s okay. Yeah, it can be used for girls too, but it's common for boys to have the name Charlie.” Polite as ever, he responded. A mischievous look made its way onto the God’s face. Oh no.

“So, I take it your parents wanted a girl?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“I assume your parents wanted a girl, considering they’ve given you a girl’s name?” I rolled my eyes, this teasing was unnecessary.

“Charlie, let’s go and get a drink.” I tried to tug him away, only to be halted by another sentence leaving my best friend’s mouth.

“It was only a question, I'm sure he doesn’t mind answering, do you Carl?”

“Charlie.”

“That’s what I said.”

“You said-” I tried to interject, but he was quick to stop me

“I know what I said, Y/N, but I'm speaking to him. Let him answer the question.”

Loki’s date was long gone by now, she’d left to speak to another group of people, presumably another few couples, leaving us three to have this discussion, thing, whatever you would think to call it.

“I’m just saying, maybe they would’ve preferred a daughter, seeing as they’ve very obviously made that clear.” He beamed, expecting me to join in and agree with him, I don’t find this funny. At all.

“Can you excuse us, Charlie? Loki, A word.” I pointed to the door, giving him a look implying for him not to test me.

“I’m in trouble. Wish me luck Carlos.”

“Charlie.”

“I know, that’s what I said.”

I pushed him all the way out the door, into the hallway and round the corner so as not to disturb everyone else’s evening. When I’d made sure there was no one else around, I looked up at the Asgardian, my arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t impressed anymore.

“So, are we out here for some hide or seek, or?”

“What the hell was that in there?!” I raised my voice slightly, his need to always make everything a joke wasn’t working this time. He had his night, his date, he didn’t need to come over and insult mine.

“What was what, darling? I was making conversation.”

“You were making fun of him.”

“No, I showed some concern about his parents choices, that’s all. Friendly advice if anything.” He looked a bit more frustrated with me now, as though he was stating the obvious and it was going over my head. I wasn’t having it this time.

“No, Loki. You weren’t and you know you weren’t. You had your date, she was fine, you were fine-”

“Well-”

“Let me finish. Everything was fine. Until you caught sight of me having a friendly conversation with another guy who wasn’t you. But guess what Lok, I’m allowed to do that! I’m an adult, I can speak with whoever I like!” My arms were all over the place now, my frustration was starting to show itself, it seems I had a bit pent up.

I saw his lips move, I heard something, but it was so quiet I couldn't make it out.

“Speak up, Loki. I can’t hear you.”

“I said, if you think he was just being friendly, you’re clearly out of your mind.”

Is he serious?

“Are you- Loki, you have no right to make a judgement on who and how and why I interact with other people. Not that it should matter to you anyway, you’ve spoken to other women before and I've never said a word or tried to stop you. Why does this matter so much?”

Silence.

“No, please, go on, tell me, enlighten me as to why this bothered you so much tonight, because trust me, I'm dying to know, truly.” I was shouting now, I just wanted answers for his behaviour, I didn’t think it would be this difficult.

His hands had made his way into his trouser pockets, eyes looking everywhere before settling on mine. He looked conflicted, I wanted to drop it when I saw his troubled gaze, but I couldn’t go back in there without an explanation.

“Ple-”

“I like you, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, love? That I was so uncomfortable seeing some you get close with some guy that I had to embarrass him in front of you? Something I'm sure my father won’t be so impressed to hear, but there, you’ve got your confession.” His voice had gone much louder than mine, taking me by surprise, so much so that it took me a minute to process what he had said. He liked me?

He turned to leave, I assume because I hadn't said anything for a matter of minutes, but I gently grabbed his arm, tugging him back towards me. I looked up into his eyes again. I was so close that you could see the specs of different colours spotted in them, they were flawless. This view beats the Asgard view anyday.

“Why didn’t you mention this before?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know. Worried I guess. We’d never spoken of moving past friendship and I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I’m more than interested, Loki.” I grinned, my smile meeting my eyes, never leaving his.

“Not Chelsey?”

“For the love, it’s Ch-”

I couldn’t say his name, a certain pair of lips had stopped me from doing so. As they molded against mine, my hands went up to tangle themselves in his hair, his hands falling to my waist and pulling me closer, I didn’t even think that could be possible. We pulled away when we needed to catch a breath, foreheads falling against each other, smiles painted on both of our faces.

“I bet I'll be in your dreams again tonight.” He whispered.

“I bet I'll be in yours.”

“Always are, Darling. Always are.”

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