going to bed but thinking about kon and his suicidality as selflessness and how heroism and self-destruction share quite the overlap and how saving the world with his death was heroic but also the culmination of a pattern of passive suicidality he displayed since practically his first day alive. what does it mean when you're so eager and willing to help at any cost to yourself that you assume you will not see yourself grow up? "i don't care what happens to me" is a scary place to be, but "i don't care what happens to me, so long as i can save everyone" is noble and brave, right? so when does heroism become an act of self-destruction? when you truly believe in helping others, but you also think you'll die doing it one day and that isn't enough to stop you... where's the line?
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Making The Bikeriders with paper thin plot and characters when we had Sons of Anarchy and all its glory is very, very bold. I get it’s based on a book and true events, but come on. They didn’t even try.
It only made me miss my SAMCRO babies even more.
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photoshop is not unlike a small frightened animal,,, i have to extend my hand and let it know i don't mean it any harm
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"Yeah I'll be done with the ToC first draft by February"
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Writing this fic just feels like pulling teeth. It feels so clunky and try-hard to me and literally the only things I can say to myself are maybe it won't read that way to other people and also, eventually (soon) it'll be finished and then I don't have to think about it again.
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That piano version she just did really just shot How You Get The Girl even higher up on my list for 1989 and I already loved the crap out of that song aksksllsksks
Also before I Bet You Think About Me when she said she was gonna play a song she'd never played live before my heart stopped. I wailed in my bedroom. My entire life flashed before my eyes. I deadass thought she was gonna play Come In With The Rain and I was going to pass away right then and there I was HORRIFIED for my life. I ADORE IBYTAM but I was SO SCARED 😭😭😭 Taylor I'm not going to survive until June at this rate 😭
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If anyone's curious I'm still making progress in cookie clicker but it's really slow because I've gotten just about every interesting achievement. It's all just milestones of 'make more cookies' and 'level 10 building' and like a couple more. I've kinda plateaued.
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3 good things
Finally got to have a relaxing evening
Had a helpful meeting
Ranked a bunch of rotations
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i have never wanted to illegally cross a border as much as i do right now finding out that paramore is going to colombia next year 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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