#I'm typing this as I'm watching a scene with her and jfc I think I'm gonna start fast forwarding

[armeniuslaurant]

kind of astounding that literally five seconds after being introduced to Claire I thought "oh this could be trouble", and I googled her and the criticism is *exactly* what I was dreading.

[cursedvibes]

Watched Talk To Me yesterday. Amazing movie, definitely lives up to all the praise I heard about it. Atmospheric, incredible tension, no jumpscares and very good practical effects. The ghosts looked absolutely nasty and the injuries some of the living characters receive...yikes. The characters are also all very likeable, even when the main character slowly breaks down over the course of the movie, you can understand where her actions are coming from with the state of mind she's in.

Also, how come that any time the topic of possession comes up in media, there's always a trans person involved? I'm not really complaining, definitely my favourite type of representation.

Local trans teen: "Yo, forget drugs. You should definitely touch this hand and get possessed by a dead person. It's the shit!"

Worst thing about my experience with this movie was definitely the audience in the theatre. Rarely had so many dipshits around me. There were multiple groups of people talking during the movie, just having full on conversations, even during the quiet scenes. People were making selfies with flash, someone got a call and then answered it. Usually, I think turning your phone off during the movie is overkill, I don't do it either, but then put it on silent and don't take it out during the movie jfc! Absolute madness. The group sitting next to me was unfortunately part of the ones being loud, so at some point I told them to please shut the fuck up. One girl said in a perfect high school bully voice that I should speak Swedish. To which I pointed towards the English movie currently running and said she obviously understands English, so "Shut. Up." God, how can you not know basic manners.

[ezrisdax-archive]

i wanna know YOUR top 5 d20 seasons now 👀 but also top 5 trek femslash pairongs so i can pay attention to them when i eventually have crawled through the original series

dimension 20:

Fantasy High - cause I'm basic and @counterspelling got me into it that way. "you've gotta watch it beej, it's so funny" and now because of that the two of us watch the shows as they premiere together. but yeah I love these bad kids and cycle through my own faves of them but c'mon the set up is just so fun and such a cool idea and then you hit that second episode and jfc, this is a little fucked up actually and you're hooked! you're just hooked!

Mice & Murder - I need this to have a sequel cause it was just so funny and I'm a sucker for a murder mystery type deal and grant and rekha are pure fucking chaos together and I miss raph, bring this cast back pls

A Court of Fey and Flowers - I honestly wasn't sold on this one at first cause regency stuff isn't my thing but holy shit, this one goes hard and I fucking loved it.

The Seven - for exactly the same reasons as you, I mean how can you not love this one, I will take twenty seasons of their quests now thank you

Unsleeping City - this one also took a bit for me to warm up to it but I find it a comfort one to watch now, I love Lou and Ally's characters and how they bounce off of each other and the way their relationship grew in the second season too. also Zac playing a one brain cell firefighter is just so fucking funny

trek femslash, okay so you know most of these aren't gonna be from TOS right? like TOS doesn't even have enough you can really make a top five really. also this one is not in a specific order at all unlike the other lists because it changes as I change. anyway here it is also in a specific order because I'm a liar.

B'Elanna/Seven - at least once a week I text @trillscienceofficer a thing about B7 because the two of us are so fucked up on it. it's about how they mirror each other....it's about how similar they are and can't and can see that and hate that in each other but admire each other. it's about how Seven is out here awkwardly flirting with B'Elanna like c'mon. I wrote a whole fucking essay about it! an essay!!!! (basically if you wanna know more please read that essay least I turn this into another essay about them)

Tasha/Deanna - I always think of this pairing in the sense of what could have been and what we did have still. Like in season one they were always reaching out to each other when the other was hurt or under the influence and then Tasha dies! she just dies! on a mission that was meant to save Deanna! I'm just supposed to go on with my life after that???? Like god, I can only imagine the episode when Deanna loses her powers and Tasha being there for her in that one or when Tasha's sister comes on the ship and Deanna being there for her in confronting the past and what she had to do to survive. I love them for what we got in s1 but I'm forever haunted but what else could have been there.

Uhura/T'Pring - they had one scene. one. where Uhura is out here like "hey Spock your fiance is beautiful" and damn if she a) wasn't right and b) on her way to steal Spock's fiance. that's all it took for me okay, I'm easy! sure this ship requires a lot of extrapolation and we don't know anything about T'Pring really (SNW don't interact) but I know in my heart I can fix that.

Jadzia/Lenara - the big canon femslash ship of 90s cause they got to kiss on screen and do you have any idea how that rewired my brain, like sure I took way too long to figure out I liked girls too but that episode lived in my head rent free. and it was about how they couldn't be together! there were too many external factors! and they missed their chance! they missed their chance!!!!!!!!!! the scene where they pull away from each other realizing this isn't going to happen.....god.....just end me and bury me with that scene thanks.

Beckett/T'Lyn - this one is new and currently at the top because of the newness to me and the season just ended so it's my head. like I went in the season expecting to really like T'Lyn/Tendi and I did! but I came out liking these two more, there's just something about that episode where they really bonded and understood each other. I really need more of them in the future.

[blkpntherxo]

My unasked review of the 1st episode of The Idol after watching it 2x because I kept pausing during the first time

The writing on this show is a hit or miss. I felt myself kinda cringing at certain points because why would you have your actors do that? Also, 30 minutes for one scene? When all of that could've been half that time? A waste.

I think the best thing about this episode was the cinematography. I am a graduated film student, so of course my eyes and brain would pay attention to the way things look because that's what four years of film school has ingrained in me. The shot where Jocelyn is in that rectangle all alone was sooo good. The one shot I didn't like was the bar scene in Jocelyn's house. There was so much shaky cam, I almost thought this was a found footage show. It ain't that hard to put the damn camera on a tripod. You did it for all the other shots.

The acting was also fine? Lily and Rachel are amazing, Troye was so so, Abel.... I'll just see what the second episode has to offer. Jennie was serving during that dance number, as she fucking should. Jane Adams annoyed me, mostly because of the rumors about her on set behavior and what she did to Lily.

I was surprised to not see a bunch of sex in this episode. The way critics were talking about it made it seem like there was sex every 5 minutes. Then again, they did watch 2 episodes so this episode might be the calm before the shit storm.

One thing I have learned after following this whole show's ordeal is that writers rooms are very, very, VERY important. As we all know, Sam Levinson doesn't have a writers room because he believes he can write all of this himself. He's like the white Tyler Perry, although Tyler Perry gathered some type of sense in the past few years because he now has writers rooms for his shows. What I want to see is the original script for this show, because cast and crew has said that that script was amazing, and then they changed it to fit Sam's needs, ego, or whatever. I love Abel down, but jfc I am getting pushover vibes from him, just from this alone. This is the same man who demanded to keep his masters, and you mean to tell me he folded and decided to rewrite an amazing script for a white man? A MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN AT THAT??? I get not wanting to burn bridges in the beginning of your film career, but there's a difference between burning a bridge and making a boundary, which Sam and HBO (because they decided to add him on instead of getting someone else) crossed. I have more hope for the movie he's gonna be in since that was written by the director who did "It Comes At Night" and "Waves".

My final thoughts: I'm not gonna say HBO should've cancelled it based off the first episode alone, but if the rest of them are ass backwards, then yes they should've cancelled it. Not like they're worried about losing money since Batgirl was cancelled AFTER IT WAS FILMED (I know Warner Brothers cancelled it, but HBO is under them so 🤷🏿‍♀️).

[ohmuqueen]

I finally watched the s3 trailer and I'm going to cry in disappointment if b*lly doesn't die. Please just let him rot. Anyways not the point of this message lol which may be long because I want to yell about MAX AND EL!!!! ;0; I LOVE THEIR SWEET SMILES AND WARMTH TOWARDS EACH OTHER AND OH MY GOSH THEIR OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!!! I like to think that Max & El went to Nancy about fashion & style bc they were at Mike's playing dnd when Nancy goes to the basement for whatever reason and Max sees (1/?)

how Nancy is dressed;bright tank top, cool acid-wash shorts with a bright belt, cute sneakers and aheadband tied to keep her bangs out of her face. And Max is just “you’reso stylish and pretty, Nancy!” And Nancy is really humble bc she doesn’tget that type of compliment, esp. from other girls, and she put a lot of effortinto the outfit so she’s really appreciative and happy!!! And just El issmiling, “Very bitchin’” and god just I want these girls to hang outand to have Erica meet (2/?)

El and Max and Nancytoo and just GIRL FRIENDSHIPS!!!!!!! :’) and god what’s her name’s comment toSteve when he does a handshake w/ Dustin “how many kids are you friendswith?” just is so cute bc I can imagine the gang or just one or twovisiting Steve. AND JONATHAN BRINGS THE GANG AND HIM AND STEVE TALK ANDINTERACT AND ARE NOT USE FOR A SHITTY LOVE TRIANGLE (same for Nancy too) andidk pls give these two boys a relationship (3/?)

AND CAN YOU IMAGINEKALI SEEING EL’S NEW LOOK AND SMILING AND HAPPY TO SEE HER SISTER BEING HERSELFAND JUST OH MAN THAT IDEA MAKES ME SO HAPPY. I think I’m done spamming ur inboxlol I’m really hoping for will & el bonding, El & Joyce bonding, andJoyce & Nancy bonding!!!!!!!!!

 .

.

God I love the mental image of Nancy going to the basementwhile the kids are playing dnd and Max admiring her style, that’s the cutestthing ever. And when El hangs out with Nancy in her room for the first time,Nancy invites El to look through her closet to see if there’s anything shewants to borrow, especially now that it’s getting warmer and El has lessclothes of her own to wear.

And later when Nancy gets closer with Max and of coursealready knows B*lly is the worst person ever, she takes Max under her wing muchlike she did El and is like “I would kill for you” but saying it differentlythan that. And I really just wish I could see Nancy and Kali shopping with Eland Max at the new mall and being girls together, and Max is just all hearteyes with a puppy dog crush on both of them, and El is so happy to have two bigsisters, she’s just on cloud nine, fam. Nancy and Kali giving their wildlydifferent but complimentary styling tips. Max taking everyone’s advice as shebuys new clothes but still keeping her signature style. Nancy helping Eldiscover her own signature style but letting El make all final decisionsbecause she knows how important it is for El to be independent. Kali seeing theresults of this and knowing Nancy is a great influence for El and just lovingboth of them so much.

Realistically I know we won’t see Kali in s3, or much ofNancy bonding with Max (and not El either I imagine, cuz the duffers don’t careabout female characters bonding even tho Joyce, El, and Nancy are thereasons their show is so successful – like even if Nancy isn’t as importantplot wise as Joyce and El, where would their show be without their preciousmeme!Steve, who is only in the show because they had to have their teenage lovetriangle in s1, hmm?)

And yes please let B*lly get written out, idec how just let him leave the show we already gotta see him and Karen in scenes together again as if that’s not a complete waste of screentime like jfc duffers no one wanted that

[coldtomyflash]

Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?

Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^;  My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context? 

My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there. 

For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.

The long answer is - 

I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.

And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.

Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words. 

That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.

Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because - 

I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.

So that’s part of it. 

The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.

I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again. 

Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.

Anyway - I say all that because - 

I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible. 

But - 

My actual advice?

1) Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)

2) Have fun with it! 

Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.

3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space. 

When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”

If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management - 

4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs. 

Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic. 

I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?

(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)

But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.

5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help! 

Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!

6) Talk out your stories with friends! 

I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!

7) Pick your battles.

You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.

Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.

Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops