#I've been doing so well recently not going on here then just recently I've been lurking more than I should... I'll retreat again soon

[enthusiasticharry]

the one where YN has a one-night stand, who turns out to be her boss at the hospital where she now works.

author's note: surprise!! doctor!harry is here to surprise you! i know i've been radio silent for a while, and i apologise for that but work has been so busy recently that i've not had a minute to myself. but i've found it, and i've spent it writing this for all of you! thanks for all ya support!

word count: 10K of smut, fluff, angst and everything in between (and also harry being the cutest paediatric doctor anyone has ever seen)

let me know what you think of good omens here! mwah <3

#1

The first time it happened was completely accidental. Well, as accidental as sleeping with a co-worker could be. A co-worker who she didn’t know was a co-worker just yet.

It was YN’s first day as a paediatric surgeon in a new hospital, in a new town and she couldn’t save him. She couldn’t save him. He was twelve years old. It wasn’t the first time that YN had lost someone, and it certainly wasn’t going to be the last. But, for a day that was supposed to be filled with new beginnings — ones that were supposed to last — it just didn’t feel like a good omen in YN’s eyes.

That’s how she ended up at the bar, on her third or fourth drink of god-knows-what when she knew that she shouldn’t. YN knew, in the back of her mind that there was no way that she could have saved that boy, no matter what she did. It was too late, and she had done her best but today her best just didn’t seem good enough.

When the handsome stranger sat next to her she didn’t think anything of it at first. He ordered his drink and just sat there. He didn’t look at YN, and YN didn’t look at him. They just sat there. From the sparing glance that YN took of the man he was attractive but that wasn’t on her mind right now — how could it be?

That was until her drink was placed on the bar in front of her, when she had just finished hers and she hadn’t asked for a new one. YN cast her eyes on the bartender, who just motioned in the handsome man’s direction. YN turned to him, and this time instead of facing forward he was looking directly at her. YN’s eyes dropped down to the drink in front of her one last time, before looking at the mystery man again who was smiling, a very pretty smile at that.

“Looked like you needed it,” He shrugged, lifting his own drink to his lips, and taking a sip.

YN scoffed a laugh, “I don’t take drinks from strangers.”

“Smart girl,” The man nodded before turning back to the bartender, “But Benny can vouch for me, can’t you Benny? Went straight from Benny’s hand to in front of you.”

YN sighed again, dropping her eyes down to the glass in front of her before lifting back up to the stranger.

“First name basis with the bartender,” YN lifts an eyebrow at him, “Come here a lot?”

The man shrugs, “Only when I need to.”

YN sighs, contemplating what she was or was not going to do before she just did it. She picked up the glass and took a sip, placing it down with a slight thunk on the counter. The smile on the man’s face was all she needed.

“I’m YN,” She holds out her hand for the man to shake.

He looks at her, then at her hand and drops his into it, “I’m Harry.”

An hour later YN had hardly made it through her front door before his lips were on hers. The door shut with a bang, one that YN would have probably cared about if she wasn’t being hoisted up against it. Harry’s hands slipped down from her waist to her ass until he was gripping her thighs and lifting her. Her legs wrapped around his waist, but the entire time their lips never left each other.

“Bedroom,” Harry mumbled against her lips, before starting an assault down her neck.

“Down the hall,” YN gasped, trying to hold in her moans as his teeth nipped along her neck.

They bumped into a few things along the way, a chest of drawers that was conveniently placed right outside the entrance of her bedroom and then the doorway that neither of them could have moved. When they did make it into the room, it wasn’t long before Harry’s lips were back on hers.

“You sure about this?” Harry murmurs against her lips and YN pulls away.

“I am,” YN runs her hands down through Harry’s hair until it is at the collar of his blazer, “Are you?”

“Hell yes,” Harry reattaches his lips to hers just as her hands slip from the curls at the nape of his neck before they run themselves along the collar of his blazer and help him shrug it off. YN brings her hands around the front to the collar of his shirt now, unbuttoning it from the top down to the bottom until she can pull that off his body also.

Her eyes widen in surprise at the ink across his chest and arms. From what she could see (which wasn’t a lot with his blazer and shirt on) she hadn’t suspected his body to be littered in the dark ink, and she couldn’t help but run her fingers along the ink, following the designs with her fingertips.

“Tattoos?”

Harry chuckles, tapping her chin with his finger so she moves her eyes up from his chest to his eyes. Her body nearly gave out in that exact second.

“What?” He chuckled, a playful smile toying his lips, “You like them?”

YN just sighed, “Ask me again when I can think straight?”

Harry laughed, leaning back down to kiss her again. His fingers toyed with the hem of her shirt, and they separated for the second it took YN to lift her arms up and for Harry to pull the shirt off of her body. YN moved to unbutton her trousers, a giggle escaping her lips as Harry helped her when they got stuck around her calf.

When YN had dressed for the day, she hadn’t factored this happening at all, and her mismatched bralette and panties (both a soft cotton instead of anything fancy for comfort reasons) weren’t the sexiest and she knew that. But, when her eyes met Harry’s again, and she saw his eyes flicker up and down her body, none of that mattered anymore.

Harry placed a few chaste kisses onto her lips once again before moving down her neck, down to the exposed skin of her breast above her bralette. A shiver ran down her spine when his hands moved around her back, his fingertips dancing across her skin before skilfully unclasping her bra and allowing it to fall from her body, exposing her breasts to him. The material was discarded on the floor, and YN swore she saw his eyes widen at the sight of her chest exposed to him.

He dropped back down to the top of her breasts, kissing and every once in a while nipping slightly. Once he wrapped his lips around her nipple, YN’s entire body lurched forward. Her thighs tried to tighten, just to relieve some of the pressure that was building within her. Instead, YN found herself pulling Harry closer to her by her thighs, the thing cotton of her panties not creating much of a barrier between her and Harry’s crotch. YN bites her lip in hopes of suppressing the moan that was attempting to slip from her lips.

YN can’t help but grind her hips forward towards his, shivering slightly when Harry’s teeth nip over her nipple.

“Harry,” YN almost mewls, her hips bucking up again, “Please.”

“Please what, darling?” Harry taunts, releasing her nipple with a slight ‘pop’.

YN just rolls her hips towards his once more, and Harry seems to get the hint. From there he moves downwards, littering kisses down her ribs and towards the top of her panties.

“Can I?” Harry asks, his fingers moving to the hem of her panties, slipping them just underneath upon her skin. YN shivered, her hips involuntarily bucking up towards Harry’s touch.

“Yes,” YN gasped, the cool air of the room hit the heat between her legs as Harry tucked his thumbs into the sides of her panties, “Please… Harry.”

YN sighed into the feeling of Harry’s lips pressing into her thigh as he pulled her panties completely off. Even though this man was a complete stranger to her – the way that he was looking at her. The way that his eyes danced down her body, the way they looked into hers as he placed kisses on the inside of her thighs, itching closer and closer to the heat inside of her legs – her judgement was clouded as to whether they were actual strangers.

“Am I getting warmer?” Harry jokes, his fingers coming to rest on YN’s stomach, trying to stop the way that she was lifting her hips upwards.

“You’re such a tease,” YN sighed, her body withering once more as he pressed a kiss right on her pubic bone.

Harry just grinned up at her, a playful smirk toying on his lips once more, “Have I found it?”

“You’re there. Bingo. Please.”

One last pleasing look to Harry, and it was as though he dived in. He didn’t even hesitate, his mouth dropped down and his lips attached to YN’s clit. Her entire body lurched forward, and without even thinking her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip to conceal the sounds that were threatening to escape. His lips applied just enough pressure, changing every so often to bring her closer and closer. When his hands reached forward and rolled her nipples between his fingers, she was gone.

“Wanna hear you,” He mumbles against her, the vibrations of his words transferring to her skin, “Need to hear I’m making you feel good.”

“You’re making me feel so good,” YN reassured him, a gasp leaving her lips as he started to flick his tongue against her. YN’s hands dropped down and slipped through his curls, allowing herself to grind against his face. The hand that was rolling her nipple moved to slip down between their bodies. He pulled away for a second, just to rub his pointer finger across her clit before dipping it inside her. YN mewled, her hands reaching out to grasp the duvet beneath her, “Don’t stop, so fucking good.”

The way his fingers and tongue worked simultaneously brought her closer and closer with every movement. YN had never in her entire life had a one-night stand where the first thing the man did was eat her out. It was not only unheard of, but it was divine. The mewls and groans that left her lips were only heightened by his quickening pace, bringing her closer and closer to the edge.

“Harry,” Her thighs attempted to close, only for Harry’s hand (the one not currently inside of her) to push them back open. There was something about him not only bringing her closer and closer to orgasm with his tongue and fingers but also the way he was manhandling her that YN couldn’t handle, “I’m so close.”

He brought his lips away from her clit, only to immediately start rubbing it up and down with his thumb.

“You going to come for me?” He asked, a boyish smile crossing his lips, ones that were glistening with her juices, “Come on. Come for me, baby.”

That one pet name was all that she needed. Her hips were rising from the bed, and her legs started to shake from over his shoulder. She could feel the orgasm from the tip of her toes right up to her head. Small gasps left her body, but Harry worked her through it.

Once the initial wave had stopped, YN dropped her body back on the bed and tried to gain control of her breathing. Harry didn’t wait a single second before he was climbing up her body, so he was hovering over her again, leaning down to capture her lips with hers. She could feel his cock pressing into her leg, and by the slight movement in his hips she knew that he was waiting for his time, and she was more than happy to oblige him.

Her hands snaked down his body, from his shoulders down to his stomach before they toyed with the button on his trousers.

Harry pulled away, only for a second to drop his eyes to where her hands were on his trousers, “You want to do this?”

YN nodded, “Wanna feel you. Need to feel you.”

Harry chuckled, helping her to push his trousers down along with his underwear until his cock sprung out at her.

“Then who am I not to oblige?”

The next morning YN woke up with a slight pounding in her head. It wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be, but she guessed the fully drunk bottle of water that was on her bedside table had done the trick. Her alarm had been set for seven, and that sound was the only thing she could hear in her room.

Just as YN was about to peel the covers back off her body and start getting ready for the day — she felt it. It was light, but she could feel it. A leg, presumably belonging to the person that she had just realised was sleeping next to her, just skimming the side of her leg. They weren’t facing each other, but the second that YN turned her head and saw that face looking at her, all the meme flies of the previous night came flooding back to her — work, the drinks, the sex.

Without even thinking she reached her arm out to tap Harry, lifting him from his slumber in a less-than-calming way. His eyes opened for a second before a groan left his lips and he immediately closed them, dropping his head back down to the pillow.

“Harry,” YN mumbled, slipping out of the bed, and clutching a blanket to her body to preserve at least a smudge of the dignity she had left, “I need to go to work, and you need to leave.”

He sighed, turning his head on the pillow to face her again, “What time is it?”

“It’s seven,” She responded, “I need to shower and get ready and I’m going to be late to work.”

Before she could even finish her sentence he was jumping out of bed, leaning down to grab his discarded clothes, and starting to pull them on his body. YN just stood there watching him, still clutching the blanket to her body.

“You’re not the only one that’s going to be late for work,” He sighed, throwing his shirt back on his body and taking quick steps towards her. He stops, leans down, and presses a kiss to her cheek, “I’ll let myself out.”

“Okay,” She nods, not completely trusting herself with her words, but she has no idea why, “Bye.”

“Bye!” He called out and just like that he was out of her room and a few seconds later she heard the front door slam, and he was out of her apartment.

It wasn’t as though she expected anything else — this was a one-night stand after all. However, there was a part of her that wished she had the balls to ask for his number or something. There was a part of her that was disappointed that the man who had given her the best sex she’d ever had didn’t seem interested in wanting her number or rushing out the way he had.

YN’s shock was short-lived, especially when her alarm clock beeped from the side of her, and she had no choice but to get on with her day. Dropping the blanket she made her way into the bathroom, sighing when she saw the state of herself in the mirror.

Despite the lack of headache, her body looked as though it had been through the wringer. Her hair was a mess, knotted and tangled all over the top of her head — just from looking at the front she dreaded to think what the back looked like.

Once her eyes had left her head, they fell to her neck and drew a line down to her breasts. From around her collar gone down she was covered in marks, some of them small and some of them bigger. The ones around her breasts were the biggest, and just the sight of them sent YN’s mind back. She ran her fingertips along the tender skin, reminding herself of the kisses and the touches that they had shared. With a shake of her head, YN pushed all of the thoughts of Harry out, turned her shower on and waited for the water to heat up.

It was her second day. Her second day. Her thoughts weren’t supposed to be clouded by the man she had met in the bar whilst trying to get drunk, trying to forget what a disaster her first day had been. Instead, she wasn’t thinking about everything she needed to do today, or what could potentially come through the door of the hospital that she would need to focus her strength on, she was reliving the night she had just had as she ran her loofah across her skin, tracing the pattern that Harry had taken.

As she stood with the warm water running over her body, she scolded herself for not doing something. She could have said something, anything to ask him, or followed him before he left the flat. But she didn’t, and she would probably never see him again — and she would have to live with that.

Shampooing her scalp helped remove the stress that was starting to build up in her body. Whilst the irrational side of her brain was telling her all of things that she could have done, the more rational side of her brain was letting her know that it was just a one-night stand. That it was just a one-night stand that she was never going to see again, and that was fine. That was fine.

The more YN thought about it, and the more that she scrubbed her scalp (it was starting to potentially hurt at this point) she brushed (scratched) all of these thoughts out of her head. She had to focus on the most important thing here, and that was her second day of work.

Once she was scrubbed and sparkling and fresh from the night before, she dressed and made her way to work. There was something that made YN feel powerful about her line of work. Maybe it was the fact that she got to save lives every day, or maybe it was the fact that those lives were children, but she felt powerful. Yesterday was just a slip-up, and everything will be fixed today she knew it was.

Once she had pulled her white coat on, and attached her I.D. to it, she made her way over to the nurses’ desk where some of the other doctors on the wing were. Iris, one of the trainee specialists that YN had met yesterday and was going to be working under her was already there, flicking through some paperwork for some of their patients for the day.

“You look…” Iris looked YN up and down, “Different.”

“Different?” YN just laughed, “You saw me stressed yesterday. Today I’m not stressed. Today I’m fine. Today I’m ready for work. Today is a new day. Today is a new day, and it is going to be a good day!”

Iris stared at YN, watching as the woman tapped her nails against the top of the desk waiting for Iris to pass her the files for their patients today so she could get on with the day. She could feel today was going to be a good day. No room for distractions, just her and her work.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Iris raised an eyebrow at YN, watching as the girl just smiled at her.

“I’m feeling fine. I’m feeling good,” YN smiled, finally stopping the tapping on the desk to hold her hand out to receive her first patient file, “Now, I have a bladder to operate on in an hour and I need to read my patient’s chart.”

Iris didn’t seem too convinced by her answer but carried on anyway, “I don’t have it. The peds consultant, Dr. Styles just went in for a consult.”

“Oh,” YN looked surprised, looking over her shoulder to look at her patient’s room but she couldn’t see anything through the door, “I haven’t met him yet. How long has it been since he went?”

“He wasn’t working yesterday,” Iris shrugs, “He’s lovely. Really. Everything you expect from someone who has spent years of his life saving kids.”

YN wasn’t surprised at that. There is a certain type of person who worked in paediatrics. These people had to be kind but stern. They had to be strong but compassionate. Being a doctor, or a surgeon anyway was tough but when children are involved, it complicates everything – makes everything more emotional. There had to be a type of detachment in the person – knowing that these patients were children, and there is a certain higher level of emotion attached to them but how you couldn’t let that emotion rule takes guts.

When YN first went to medical school paediatrics was the last thing on her mind, but by the time she had finished, it was the only thing that she could think about. Now – here she was.

“Well, I hope he’s not going to be long,” YN sighs, tapping her nails against the desk again, “Got pre-ops to do, and I don’t really fancy standing and waiting here for any longer.”

“Stop complaining,” Iris sighs, standing up and moving around the desk so that she’s next to YN, “And he’s here.”

YN sighed, pushing herself up and turning around. She was used to the introductions by now. Whilst peds doctors are lovely and have some sort of emotional intelligence they are still doctors, and that comes with some sort of arrogance. All she needed to do was introduce herself and then she could get into the operating room – where she wanted to. That’s all she thought she would do, but the second she turned around she knew that wasn’t going to be the case at all.

“Hi,” He stopped right in front of her, his hand reaching out as though it was going to shake hers, “I’m Dr. Styles.”

Turns out she didn’t need his number. Turns out she was going to be working with him.

#2

The second that it happened YN had just finished surgery. A kidney transplant on a nine-year-old boy. She was exhausted. She was stressed, and all she wanted to do was go home and go to bed – that was what she needed to do. Just as YN pulled her scrub cap off her head and followed that with a yawn she felt a hand wrapping around her waist. Just a second later she was being pulled into the closest room, which just happened to be a janitorial storage room.

YN sighed, facing the back wall, and taking in the musty scent along with the brooms and mops that were lining the back wall. She didn’t need to know who was with her, and that was the problem.

“You’re avoiding me,” He spoke, and YN still didn’t turn around. She didn’t want to turn around, “You’re avoiding me, and you can’t avoid me.”

YN sighed, “I’m not avoiding you. I see you every day.”

“In consults, YN!” YN ran her hand over her forehead, still looking at the wall, “In consults, where you don’t even look me in the eyes! I’ve tried and tried, and you won’t talk to me!”

“Because you’re my boss!” YN flung around, looking Harry directly in his eyes. The way she raised her voice caused Harry’s eyes to widen, and the way he immediately saw her eyes start to fill up caused them to soften straightaway, “You’re my boss, and I slept with you!”

“YN,” Harry sighs, taking a step towards her with his hand out. Before YN could flinch she pulled away, “You didn’t know that that I was your boss, that is not your fault.”

“You are still my boss, Harry,” She sighs, trying to stop her lips from turning into a frown, “You are still my boss, and I’ve slept with you. You’ve seen me naked! I’ve seen you naked! You’re my boss!”

“YN, you need to listen to me,” Harry was the one sighing now, running his finger across his eyebrow, “You did not know that I was your boss. I did not know you were a surgeon, never mind the surgeon on my staff! We both didn’t know and if we don’t talk this out – we’re not going to be able to work together and that’s dangerous. I know it, you know it. How can we treat our patients, those children out there if we can barely look at each other in the eye?”

YN sighed, knowing that it wasn’t the most sanitary, but she was tired. She dropped down to the floor, her back leaning against one of the shelves covered in cleaning supplies. Harry sighed and dropped down next to her, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Why didn’t you ask for my number?”

YN had interrupted the silence that had washed over them, and Harry didn’t say anything straight away. He turned to look at YN, but she was staring straight ahead – at the other shelves with boxes of cleaning supplies on.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you ask for my number?” She asked again, “Before you left. Why didn’t you ask for my number?”

“I wanted to,” Harry responds this time, but YN still doesn’t look at him, “I wanted to, but I was late. I forgot.”

YN laughed. She couldn’t help it, “You forgot? You slept with me, and then you forgot to ask for my number?”

Harry’s head turned to hers quickly, his eyes laced with shock, “You didn’t ask for mine. You could’ve asked for mine, you could’ve.”

“I could’ve if you didn’t race out of the room like there was a fire under your arse!”

Harry sighed again, looking straight ahead at the shelves. They were in silence again, and then his hand reached out to grasp hers. She tried to pull away, but he didn’t let her. Instead, she snaked his fingers through hers and pulled her hand so that it was resting on her knees.

“Oliver,” Harry sighed, running his thumb over the back of her hand, “The patient that you did the bladder operation on, you removed his tumours.”

“Yeah?” YN sighed, unsure as to where this was going.

“That was my friend's kid,” Harry sighed, not stopping as he ran his thumb over the back of her hand, “Oliver. Oli – that’s what we call him. He’s a bubbly kid, kind, good at sports. He was fine. Then one day he wasn’t. His parents took him to his GP, he said it was a bladder infection. They came to me, and I said the same. I said the same. They begged me to run more tests, begged me. I didn’t, he got worse, and they came back. I ordered the tests and –”

“He had cancer, and I removed his tumours,” YN sighs. Before she could help it, she pulled his hand on top of her knee and ran her thumb over the back of his hand.

“I went to the bar because I was trying to not think about it, and then I saw you,” Harry sighed, shrugging slightly, “And I, for that night could push everything out of my head. I could push the fact that I missed it out of my head. Then I woke up, and I forgot to ask for your number because I was late to make sure that he was alright before his surgery, and I wanted to be there for his parents. Then I saw him, and then I saw you and then I remembered – I should have asked for your number, but it didn’t matter.”

“Because I was here,” She sighed, and he pursed his lips together and nodded, “But then I ignored you because I slept with my boss, and I thought you didn’t care.”

“I did care,” He sighed, “I do care. It was just…”

“It was a bad day,” YN sighed, a small smile gracing her lips, “We all have bad days. I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

“It’s okay,” Harry smiled, “Can we not ignore each other anymore? I know it’s weird that you’ve seen your boss naked but –”

“We’re okay,” YN laughed, “As long that you don’t find it strange that you’ve seen your colleague naked too.”

He joined in with her laughter, the sound filling up the once-silent room. It had been a month of this silence, this lack of communication between them and even though YN was exhausted – she felt better. Once the laughter had died down, YN realised that she was still holding his hand, her thumb still rubbing on the back of her skin.

YN looked up at Harry, her breath catching in her throat when she realised that he was staring right at her. It was as though the room around them had shrunk, pushing them closer and closer together until their faces were only inches apart. They had just made up, and then all of a sudden his lips were on hers.

YN moved, their lips not separating so that she was straddling his lap. The room now wasn’t small, and it wasn’t just filled with cleaning supplies – it was filled with their deep breaths, their moans, the sound of their lips moving against one another. YN’s hands slipped into the curls at the nape of his neck, just as they had done that night a month ago. Harry’s hand slipped underneath her scrubs, grabbing against her waist, and pulling her closer to him.

That feeling was back, the one that she had felt before. The one where it felt good, as though (and she knew how crazy this sounded) that they fit together perfectly. The feeling of his hands on her, and his lips on hers was everything that she needed.

That was until there was a knock on the door.

“Excuse me!” The voice was deep, and not one that YN recognised, “I need to get into my storage cupboard unless you want the entire hospital to be dirty!”

YN and Harry pulled away, a string of laughs escaping their lips as they tried to pull their selves together. Harry pulled the door open once they looked a little more presentable, revealing Mark, the janitor, standing there with his hands on his hips.

“Sorry, Mark,” Harry nodded, clearing his throat slightly, “Bad day.”

Mark scoffed, watching as YN fluttered past them and started to move down the hall. She didn’t move fast enough to not hear him say, “Keep your bad days to the on-call room next time.”

“So,” It was later on in the day, and YN had managed to get some sleep in one of the on-call rooms before she was back to it. She hadn’t seen Harry since their little adventure in the janitor’s cupboard earlier today, not until right now, “I was thinking.”

“Oh,” YN sighed, continuing to flick through the charts that were in her hands, “That’s dangerous.”

Harry laughed, and that was when YN turned to look at him. He was in his scrubs, his hands in his white lab coat. All YN wanted to do was wish that they were back in that cupboard, mainly so she could kiss him again.

“My thinking isn’t dangerous. I think I come up with brilliant ideas,” Harry leant against the nurses’ station, his body leaning towards her.

“Okay,” YN closed her chart so that she could angle her body towards his as well, “What is this brilliant idea you’ve come up with?”

“I think we should go on a date,” YN’s eyes widened, but before she could say anything to him he carried on speaking, “I think we should go on a proper date. Dinner, or a movie – something. A proper date.”

“This was your brilliant idea?” YN raised her eyebrow, “To ask me on a date?”

“Yes,” He beamed another smile at her, “Properly. We’re going to do this properly.”

YN cleared her throat and took a step closer to Harry so that they were not at a professional space away from each other.

“So,” YN’s eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips, “This whole… doing it properly thing? Does that mean we can’t have sex?”

Just when YN thought he was going to kiss her, Harry stepped away. He walked away from her.

“Harry?” She exclaimed, her arms dropping open.

“We’re doing this properly!” He called back, not even turning to look at her, “I’ll pick you up at eight!”

YN sighed, shaking her head, and watching as he turned the corner out of her view. She turned back to her chart, but before she could open it her eyes caught Iris – who she had completely forgotten was sitting behind the desk when Harry walked past.

“I don’t even know what to say,” The girl spoke, eyes still open wide, “I feel like I’ve just watched some sort of soft porn. I feel like I’m at work, and I’ve just witnessed soft porn with my own two eyes.”

YN laughed, she couldn’t help it, “I think you’re in shock.”

“I think I’ve just watched soft porn between my two co-workers – my two bosses,” She adds, the shock on her face still not wavering, “Never mind that, one of my friends – my best friends, mind that – and her boss, who is also my boss.”

“Iris,” YN clapped in front of her face, snapping her friend out of whatever shock she was in, “You good?”

“I’m good,” Iris stood up, “I just think I’m going to wash my eyes out.”

A few hours later YN was waiting for Harry outside the hospital, dressed in an outfit that wasn’t exactly the best but wasn’t the worst. YN hadn’t expected to be going on a date this morning, but Harry had seen her in her scrubs, so a pair of jeans and a nice top wasn’t going to be the end of the world.

“You ready?” Harry’s hand hovered above her back as he joined her outside the hospital.

“I’m ready,” YN sighed, “I’m ready for our proper date. Can I find out where we’re going on our proper date?”

“Not yet,” He slipped his hand into hers, “I’ll tell you when we get there.”

YN groaned but allowed herself to be pulled to Harry’s car. Harry drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other hand on YN’s. It felt comfortable. YN hadn’t been on many first dates, but the ones that she had never felt like this. Saying that many of the people she had been on first dates with she hadn’t already slept with, or she hadn’t worked with them.

They pulled up outside what seemed to be a diner of some sort. YN hadn’t lived here long, so she hadn’t explored anyway but her house, the hospital, and the supermarket.

“What is this place?”

“You’ll find out,” Harry opened the car door for her, “Not a fan of surprises?”

“I’m a surgeon,” YN stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Surprises normally equal either more work for me or death. I’m not a fan of surprises.”

“I think you’ll like this one.”

Harry opened the door to the diner for YN, allowing her to step in first like a proper date. This was a proper date.

“Harry!” An older woman called from behind the counter, “It’s so good to see you!”

“Hi, Mrs Chapman,” Harry didn’t even flinch when the woman came and placed a kiss on her cheek, “How are you?”

“I’m fine, doll, how are you?” The older woman pulled away but kept her hands firmly on Harry’s arms, “Still the best doctor that ever lived? My Harrison is doing his exams later this year thanks to you.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Mrs. Chapman,” Harry finally managed to pull himself out of the older woman’s grasp, “Are we okay to sit?”

Mrs. Chapman looked over at YN, then she gasped and nodded, “Of course you are! Your booth’s free, Harry. Let me know if you need anything.”

Harry just smiled, leading YN towards a booth at the back of the diner with a hand on the nape of her back. Each time that YN found out a little bit more information about Harry, it shocked her and didn’t simultaneously.

“Do you leach off a lovely woman whose child you saved?” YN asked, raising her eyebrow as she slid into the booth across from Harry.

“I do not leach,” Harry shook his head, passing YN a menu, “I found this place way before Harrison came to see me. Mrs. Chapman is a lovely woman, who now gives me free food now and then because I saved her grandson.”

YN just sighed, shaking her head, and looking down at the menu again. It had everything that a typical diner would have, but I suppose the thing that made it different from the rest was the connection that Harry had with it.

“Do you come here often, then?” YN asked, deciding on whether she wanted a burger or not, “To be on a first-name basis with the owner?”

“Maybe,” Harry shrugs, not even looking at the menu as though he already knows what he is going to have. He then sighs, “It’s the only place around here that’s open twenty-four hours. I come here because the food’s nice, the people are nice and I’m normally too tired to cook after a shift.”

“God,” YN sighs, leaning back in the booth and crossing her arms over her chest, “If I’d have known this place existed I would’ve saved so much money on crappy microwave meals.”

“Oh,” Harry shakes his head, “No, we can’t be having that.”

“Okay then,” YN drops her menu on the table in front of them, “What do you recommend?”

They end up ordering way too much food than what would normally be appropriate for two people to eat. They had burgers, and milkshakes and god only knows how many different types of pie. The only constellation that YN had for it was that they’d be able to take the leftovers home and that was one thing she loved more than eating out was the leftovers the next day.

“I’m stuffed,” YN sighed, dropping her fork down on her plate. She had just put back a burger, a handful of fries and half of two slices of pie (cherry and apple) in one sitting. In YN’s defence, she had been in the OR for the majority of the day, and that therefore meant scoffing a sandwich in the twenty-minute break she found herself having about six hours ago.

“So, you’re not going to help me finish this last slice of pie?” Harry pouted his lips slightly at her, pushing the plate with the last bit of cherry pie towards her.

YN sighed, but it didn’t take her long to pick up her fork and dig it into the last piece of the pie. YN ate half of it, and Harry had the other half. At that point, YN felt as though she was truly and honestly going to burst now. If it was socially acceptable to unbutton her trousers, she would have done that.

“That’s it,” YN shook her head, waving her hands in front of her, “Stop feeding me. I can’t take it anymore.”

“It was good though?” Harry nodded, “Right?”

“So good,” YN sighed, unable to hold the smile off her face, “I don’t think I’ve eaten this good since moving here.”

“Not much of a cook?” Harry laughed, wiping his hands with his napkin.

YN shook her head, leaning back on the booth. Even though she was having a lovely time, there was a part of her that was exhausted, but she wanted to stay. Even though every muscle in her body, every ache was screaming at her to go home and go to bed – she just couldn’t. She didn’t want to leave; she didn’t want this night to end.

“I’m not much of anything,” YN shrugged, “I’m a surgeon. That’s about it.”

“I don’t believe that,” Harry shook his head, “I believe that, yeah, you’re a surgeon, but I don’t think that’s all there is to you. That’s all I want to know.”

YN sighed, her teeth clamping down on the inside of her lip, “I guess you’re just going to have to wait.”

“I’m going to have to wait?” Harry laughed, “What am I going to have to wait for?”

“Our next proper date.”

Harry’s entire face beamed out into a smile, and YN couldn’t help but join him. In all honesty, whilst there was a level of comfortableness between them there was also a part that made her giddy. It was new and it was exciting and even though alarm bells were ringing for her that this was her boss, she had never felt this way about anybody before.

She didn’t think she ever would again.

#3

The third time it happened, YN knew that this was going to be for good.

“You’re going to get married, and you’re going to have his babies and get a dog and I’m just going to be watching from the sidelines. Single. With fifteen cats. No husband, no cute kids. No sexy husband that’s good with the cute kids…”

“Iris?” YN interrupts before the girl could carry on her rambling.

“Yeah?” The girl beamed, a sad smile crossing her lips.

“You’re doing it again,” YN sighed, dropping her hands to the top of her charts, “The thinking out loud. The crazy cat lady thing. I know you think that you’re making yourself feel better by speaking into the universe, but it’s just sad Iris.”

“You know what’s sad?” Iris sighed, and that’s when YN saw the glaze over her eyes again, “That I’m not going to have a hot doctor husband, and cute kids, and –”

“That’s it,” YN sighed, picking up her chart and moving away from her boyfriend, “I’m leaving. I can’t listen to this anymore.”

YN had taken all but two steps away from the desk when she felt someone’s arm knock into hers. She didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

YN and Harry had been living in bliss for the past six months. They had done this properly. They had been on dates, ‘proper’ dates as they had continued to call them, and every day just seemed to get better. That wasn’t to say that they hadn’t had their ups and downs. Two doctors, paediatricians at that, trying in a relationship would have its ups and downs. They were emotional, exhausted, and stubborn. That meant that every so often their heads butted together and it either ended up in them screaming at each other or just sitting in complete silence.

“What can’t you listen to anymore?” He asked, his shoulder brushing hers and they walked down the corridor.

YN sighed, “Iris is having her cat existential crisis again. I told you it was a bad idea for her to get a cat, and what did you say? You said it was a good idea, and now I’m –”

“Woah,” Harry stopped her, placing his hands on her shoulders to calm her down, “Now you’re having the cat existential crisis.”

YN sighed, lifting her hand to scratch her eyebrow, “She’s infecting me. Harry, we have to do something. You must have some single friends. Something. We need to fix this.”

“We don’t,” Harry shakes his head, “I know she’s your best friend and you –”

Whatever Harry was going to say next didn’t matter, and it didn’t matter because a scream came from down the hall. It wasn’t a good scream, and before anything else could be said the two of them were rushing down the hallway and into the room where the scream came from.

It was Paige. She was their latest patient, in for Lymphoma. It was a recent diagnosis – very recent and the girl was crying and screaming.  The nurse looked as though she was going to have a breakdown herself.

“She won’t let us put an IV in,” The nurse sighed, “We’ve tried everything, but she just keeps screaming.”

“It’s going to hurt!” Paige screamed back, wet hot tears streaming down her face as she looked between Harry and YN.

Harry looked at YN and she just nodded, “We’ll take it from here Kathy.”

The nurse nodded, leaving the room, and allowing the door to slam shut behind her. YN flinched slightly, but at the same time she knew how stressful children could be sometimes. She also knew that Kathy was coming off a long shift, and that could also factor into the stress.

“I’m sorry,” Paige’s mother spoke from the corner of the room, her eyes welling up just like her daughters were, “She’s never normally like this. I tried. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Harry smiled, dropping down onto the seat next to Paige’s bed, pulling some gloves onto his hands, “Needles are scary. They’re sharp, and they’re scary.”

“It’s going to hurt,” Paige whined, her chest wracking with more sobs, “It hurt last time, Dr. Styles, I don’t wanna hurt.”

Harry sighed, “It does hurt, I’m not going to lie to you, Paige.”

YN’s eyes furrowed as Harry spoke but shrugged off his jacket at the same time. He pulled the tourniquet out of the unopened IV kit and wrapped it around his arm, pulling it tight.

“It hurts, but only for a minute,” Harry smiled, “Dr. YLN here is going to show you how it’s done, and I’m going to explain every little step. Is that okay, Paige?”

Paige’s tears were still falling, but her breathing had slowed down slightly. YN pulled on another pair of gloves and prepped the needle.

“This rubber band is a tourniquet,” Harry explained, “You’ve probably had one before when you were having your blood taken. You see, it helps us to see your veins,” Harry pointed out the vein in his arm which had popped out. “Dr. YN here is going to insert the needle and… yes it’s going to hurt, and it’s hurting but now it’s not.”

When YN had finished putting the needle into Harry’s arm, she looked back up to see Paige’s tears had stopped and a small smile on her face.

“So,” Harry smiled, pulling the needle out and holding some cotton wool on his arm, “How about Dr YLN goes and gets a new IV kit, and your mother holds your hand whilst I do it, yeah?”

Paige smiles, nodding her head, “Yeah.”

Once YN had brought a new IV kit into the room, she just stood by the door – watching. She watched as Harry spoke to Paige through the IV, keeping the young girl calm throughout the entire thing. Just watching Harry and watching not only how good at his job he was but also how he acted around the children was everything that YN needed to know.

The icing on top of the cake was when he started to tease the young girl, pretending that he didn’t have any lollipops to give her, even though he had some in his coat pocket. YN smiled, watching as the girl who once had tears streaming down her cheeks was now laughing, playing with Harry, and trying to guess which pocket had the lollipops in.

YN walked out of the room with that cheesy smile on her face, trying not to make it obvious the reason why but she knew. Iris was still sitting behind the nurses’ station, and YN stopped in front of her and sighed.

“You’re right,” YN chuckled lightly, “We’re going to have really cute babies.”

“We did good today,” YN sighed, placing the bottle of wine on the coffee table in front of Harry. YN dropped down next to him, accepting the space underneath his arm to squeeze into.

They had been on their feet a long time today, and just the fact that they were both now curled up on the sofa, with a glass of wine to soften the blow was all YN needed. Paige’s surgery had a few minor complications, but it was nothing that YN couldn’t handle. When Paige had woken up, the smile on her face knowing that she could finally eat the lollipop in a few hours that Harry had given her was enough for YN to know that it was worth it.

“We did,” Harry sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, “Paige is going to make a full recovery and she’ll be back on her feet in no time – all thanks to you.”

YN sighed, “Wouldn’t have even been able to operate without you.”

Harry just sighed, his lips ghosting over YN’s head. There was a change in the atmosphere, and YN could tell. Harry didn’t say anything else, and YN didn’t know whether he wanted to talk or not.

“You want to talk about it?” She spoke quietly, her finger drawing lines along his knee that was sprawled out in front of her.

Harry sighed against her, pressing another kiss to her head, “Not now. I will later though, I promise.”

“Okay,” YN smiled, reaching out to grab Harry’s hand, “Can I tell you something?”

Harry hummed. YN hesitated for a second, not knowing whether this was the right time to do this or not. But then she remembered today, and she remembered that feeling that she had whilst she had been watching Harry with Paige. She remembered the tightness in her chest, and it wasn’t worry or stress. She knew what it was, and all she could hope was that he’d feel the same way.

“I think…” YN started but then she shook her head slightly, “No, I know. I know that I love you, Harry.”

Harry lifted his head from the top of YN’s head, turning so that she was looking at him. When YN’s eyes met his, she was shocked to see that his eyes were slightly filling up. YN lifted her hand to his face, placing her palm on his cheek and making sure that he was okay.

“I…” Harry started, and YN’s heart pummelled to the bottom of her stomach. She couldn’t tell. She had admitted to the man that she was the love of her life, the man who was it for her and she couldn’t tell what he was going to say. She froze. She froze, and then he smiled, “I love you.”

YN sighed, and it took everything in her to not pick up one of the cushions next to her and launch it at Harry’s head, “Don’t scare me like that again. I thought I was going to have a heart attack.”

“What?” He laughed, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek and then to the nape of her neck, “What do you mean?”

“Your face, and the silence and –” YN pulled away from him slightly, moving so that there was a gap between them. Until a wave of something covered her and before she knew it she was standing up, “Then the hesitation! You hesitated and you looked like you were going to cry, and then you hesitated to tell me that you love me!”

Harry sighed, sitting up with his knees open in front of her. Harry reached out for YN’s hands, but she pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I love you. I love you more than anything YN, and I know that it hasn’t been long – but I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you.”

YN sighed, but reached out and dropped her hands into Harry’s, “You’re not upset with me then?”

“No,” Harry shook his head, “I just… today, with Paige. That girl. She was so scared, so scared. Her parents were scared, and yet I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’m a doctor, that’s what I am and the entire time all I could think about was you. In the surgery, I wondered how you were feeling, and what you might have wanted for dinner tonight.”

YN sighed, reaching forward to place a hand on his cheek – his face leaning into her touch.

“Harry…”

“I have never, ever not thought of the hospital, and my patients the entire day since I was a trainee. Then you come, and you’re always there – in the back of my mind. I love you so much, YN, and I would never hesitate to tell you that.”

YN didn’t say anything else. Instead, YN took a step forward. She grasped Harry’s face in her hands. His hands snaked around her waist, pulling her body closer until his head was resting upon her stomach. YN’s fingers slipped through his hair, right until they were at those curls at the bottom of his neck that she loved. She could feel his lips pressing tiny pecks into her stomach over her shirt. Using the curls, she tugged lightly to pull his face away from her stomach, and she could immediately lean down and capture his lips with hers.

YN sighed into the kiss, her body collapsing onto his until she was straddling him. His hands picked up speed, slipping underneath her shirt as hers tugged on his hair – their lips moving together at the same rate.

“I love you,” Harry mumbled against her lips, not stopping his kisses for even a second.

YN pulled away for a second, pushing his hair off his forehead, “Then show me… please.”

Harry nodded, pressing another chaste kiss to her lips before helping YN up and off of the sofa. The two of them stumbled into YN’s bedroom quickly, their hands never leaving each other’s body.

It was new, it was exciting, and it was good. It was love.

Harry dropped down on the bed, and YN followed – dropping on his lap just as she had been on the sofa. His fingers fiddled with the edge of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra (it being the first thing to come off her body when she came home), and his lips immediately started placing kisses all over her chest and breasts.

“I love you,” He mumbled against her skin.

“Do you love me? Or do you love my boobs?”

Harry chuckled, his teeth grazing her nipple lightly, “I love you and I love your boobs… equally.”

YN laughed, pushing him away from her body lightly, “You’re such an idiot.”

“I am,” He placed her kiss on her chest, “I’m an idiot,” he placed another kiss on her neck, “But I’m an idiot who loves you.”

Piece by piece their clothing was removed, and whispers and kisses and giggles were shared until they were both naked. They had moved further up so that Harry’s back was pressed against the headboard, YN hovering above him.

Their movements started slow, YN sliding herself down onto Harry’s cock. The feeling was full, and amongst that, it was full of love. Harry’s hands landed on YN’s hips, helping her move whilst YN’s clutched the headboard. YN gasped into Harry’s mouth as she started to rotate her hips.

“Harry,” YN moaned into his mouth, one of her hands leaving the headboard to grasp his shoulder. Harry started to help her, his hips rolling up to meet hers, causing YN’s nails to press into the skin of his shoulder.

“Keep going for me, baby,” Harry mumbled, his head dropping down to YN’s shoulder – his lips grazing her skin, “Come on, keep going for me.”

YN sped up her hips, listening to Harry’s words of encouragement. There was no way that YN could be closer to Harry than she was at this moment, but with each thrust, she wanted to be.

“So wet for me baby,” Harry mumbled, “Doing so well for me baby.”

“Harry, please,” YN whined, her hips moving quicker and quicker with every passing moment, “I need more, I need you more.”

“You wanna switch?” Harry pulls his head up from her shoulder, looking directly into her eyes, “Just tell me, baby.”

YN’s hips stopped and with Harry’s help, she lifted herself off him. YN whimpered slightly at the loss of contact, but the second that she moved so that she was on her back, Harry was hovering over her.

“Harry, please,” YN’s hands clawed at his back, pulling him closer to her.

“You okay?” He asked, one hand on his cock to line it up with her entrance and the other one holding his body up by her head.

“Please,” YN nodded, her hands scratching down his back again, pushing lightly on the top of his ass, “Please Harry, I wanna feel you. Need to feel you.”

Harry didn’t hesitate to push inside of her, taking YN’s breath away. He moved forward so that their foreheads were touching each other’s. This was what YN wanted – what she needed. Each thrust of his hips felt as though he was bringing her closer and closer – not only to her orgasm but also to him.

“Harry,” YN whimpered, moving her lips onto Harry’s, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

Harry picked up the pace, moving his hips faster and faster until he saw the tell-tale signs. YN’s breathing turned faster, and one of the hands that was on his back reached out to the bed next to her, screwing the sheets into her fist. It hadn’t taken Harry long to pick up the signs, listening to all of the signs that her body gave him. Once that switch was flipped, Harry knew exactly what to do.

“It’s okay, baby,” Harry mumbled against her lips, one of his hands slipping down between their bodies so that he could roll her clit between his fingers, “Let go for me, always look so pretty when you come for me – so pretty.”

“Harry, I’m so close,” YN’s hips moved up to meet Harry’s. The mixture of both Harry’s cock inside of her and also his fingers on her clit, speeding the process along – that was all that YN needed. Her orgasm raked through her body, a line of whimpers escaping her lips, along with a string of Harry’s name. Harry coaxed her through her orgasm, not stopping his pace until he saw the signs.

Harry came not long after, his body going rigid against YN’s. Harry’s head leant down to capture YN’s lips with his again, slowing his hips down until he came to a complete stop inside her. He dropped down – his body weight falling upon YN’s. She felt comfort with it, his body weight pressed on hers.

Silence fell between the two of them, and it wasn’t until a few minutes later when Harry moved to slip out of YN that any sound was made in the room apart from the sound of their breathing. YN felt an emptiness inside of her, but once Harry was laid at her side she wasted no time in moving closer to him. She lipped his leg in between his, her arm wrapping around his chest and resting on his shoulder.

“I…” YN started, her finger lifting to run down Harry’s cheek ever so lightly, “Think you’re a good omen.”

“What?” Harry smiled, tilting his head down slightly so that he could look at her, where her head was resting on his shoulder.

“A good omen,” YN shrugged, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I think… you were brought to me to show me that everything is going to be okay.”

“It is going to be okay,” Harry nodded, lifting his hand to brush her hair off her forehead, “Everything is going to be okay.”

It wasn’t that YN believed in anything like that. She didn’t believe in signs before all of this but now. Now, she believed that Harry was her sign. He was her sign.

He was her good omen.

[weebsinstash]

I'm sorry but I'm going insane for your idea of Lilith and Luci getting a sinner pregnant together can we please have more of your thoughts on this idea 🙏

Absolutely because I'm a dirty little heathen and Season 2 isn't just about to magically pop up out of the ground and I've had SOME THOUGHTS and also this post is way longer than it should be 💀

I was sitting and I was thinking of the concept of the Hotel having communal breakfasts or having at least one day of the week where there's food served and everyone (typically) eats together, not only as a bonding/unity sort of thing but also simular to how real hotels can have complimentary breakfast as part of your stay, and like, yeesh this is actually an entirely separate fic idea in of itself but you're talking with Alastor and you're saying something along the lines of "oh yeah, well, I was actually starting to think a lot about motherhood before I died, but, raising children is so complicated, not to mention society right now is so genuinely hostile and dangerous to children, and i wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways, and, well, you know, NOW i literally can't have them down here"

AND FROM THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE TABLE

COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED

HERE'S LILITH, "Oh! It wouldn't be impossible at all! You and Lucifer could still have a baby :)"

RECORD SCRATCH SOUND EFFECT AS EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE QUEEN OF HELL. She seems completely unbothered while her husband is A TOMATO, he can barely even look in your direction, he's just tugging on her sleeve, "L-Lili, cmon, don't say things like that 😳🥴" and awkwardly laughing, maybe even asking to speak to his wife in private (I feel like its a regular occurrence for these two to dip out of a room and reappear and Lilith is reapplying her lipstick as she re-enters followed by a kiss covered Lucifer lmao)

Can you even imagine going to Charlie, "hey um, this is awkward, your mom keeps like. Jesus please don't kill me I'm not a homewrecker but your mom keeps making comments about me having a baby with your dad and she sounds completely serious about it and shes been bringing it up for like two weeks" and you could not be saying this in a more obvious "hey girl this is weird and I don't like it, can you chat with your parents for me to stop this" kind of way BUT, the actual way Charlie is responding ALSO THROWS YOU OFF. I can see it already, Charlie all but LIGHTS UP WITH EXCITEMENT and she, takes a breath, "oh!! I mean!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to obviously, bbBUT UH THAT BEING SAID oh gosh that sounds like it would make you really happy, aaaaand and I know you wanted a family of your own and, hey isn't this place about new beginnings and" GIRL WE AREN'T HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR DAD TF?

You know how I made that post "hey Lucifer kind of appears to have these vague Master Of All type powers down in Hell, what if he could manipulate your dreams and made you dream about being a kid because he's wanting to heal your inner child/adopt you". I also started thinking recently about Lucifer AND OR Lilith using these powers to make you dream about 1) being with them in general and more specifically 2) motherhood and i started mentally deep diving for that shit. Like. It could genuinely actually get so fucked up actually. Could you imagine you're just, VULNERABLE with the Queen of Hell and you're drunk and you're crying and you're just, SPILLING EVERYTHING, she's getting your entire life's story, and she's petting your hair as youre way too drunk to realize youre telling her way too much, amd she's just thinking "oh you poor thing, human society sounds absolutely dreadful now" and like. Think of it from a hypothetical fantasy psychology perspective. It's not like Lilith has never been part of modern society, she's been a member of Hell forever and has only been out of contact for 7 years, BUT she also exists from a time predating all of that AND she built Hell with Lucifer, so like, imagine she actually starts forming some um Strong Opinions on how, it sounds like all these complicated modern things are really dragging you down, both as a person and as a free spirit, and comes to a consensus that your life needs to be a little... simpler

I'm serious, I'm talking "Lilith makes you dream about being In The Actual Goddamn Garden Of Eden Itself with her and Lucifer and you're ALL naked". Just completely controlling your dream. You're naked as the day you were born and so are they and you can't control your dream at ALL. Lilith is wanting to like, watch you peacefully frolic around, I'm talking she wants to see you having your Hot Nymph Summer where you're napping in beds of flowers and you're having birds land on your finger and you're gasping at all the pretty flowers and wanting to explore and, experiencing the beauty of being alive without all these messy modern nuances and it's like NO MAAM I DONT WANT TO PICK BERRIES FROM THAT BUSH, YOU CAN SEE M Y BUSH AND I CAN SEE YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS---

Alastor is over here thinking he's hot shit, "oh I do so wish we could return to simpler times without all these modern trivial problems!!" MEANWHILE LILITH IS LIKE. ACTUALLY GOING THAT EXTRA MILE. Alastor is like "boo cellphones are bad and women dont dress modestly enough, people these days spend too mych time with technology and not with family" meanwhile in "the garden" a completely naked Lilith is braiding your hair and weaving flowers into it while an also completely naked Lucifer is feeding you berries by hand as they discuss the idea of having a nice fun swim in the lake passed the glade, like you guys really are frolicking and fucking around like a bunch of fairies and it's. It's peaceful and fun but also you miss your cellphone and having underwear 😩 like miss queen of hell can I PLEASE get some boob support--

Moving on, I was thinking of the Fake Garden in of itself, as its own idea, but like in this poly baby raising context, it would be essentially Phase 1 of the plan to normalize their presences to you and make you more comfortable around them and then skipping into Phase 10 of "oh hey by the way you're gonna have a dream about um sleeping with the King and Queen of Hell and it's Totally Not Real and you're Totally Definitely Not Actually Like For Real For Real Legitimately Pregnant Now ;)" like. First off before I get any farther in this post can we just like acknowledge the like HEINOUSNESS of you not knowing everything is "real dreams" and LiliLuci using this to their full advantage to ask and find out anything about you because basically to them, they think you're just being boggled down and negatively influences by modern human society and you're like an onion they have to peel some layers off of first to expose those juicy inner tender bits

Just. Ok. Like. High level fantasy horror concept ok, here we go I'm gonna cook here:

It eventually does move on to you having dreams about living in an actual home with Lucifer and Lilith, sleeping with them in you know, All Those Ways, basically in what you think is some weird imaginary throuple that while you do find yourself enjoying it like actually, you can't wake up from it, and these dreams can feel WAY too long sometimes. You're dreaming of some, "am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly or am I a butterfly dreaming i am a man" shit where you hit the pillow in Hell and Dream You is waking up, seeing your husband and wife get ready for work and you're basically a pampered stay at home spouse. I honestly can't decide what dynamic would be cuter: both of them having jobs, you and Lilith having jobs while Lucifer is the house husband, only Lilith having a job while you and Lucifer do dumb shit at home, or Lucifer being big daddy and bringing home all the money while you and Lilith lounge by the pool and she takes you to the spa and pampers you all day and is sending texts and photos of how cute you are to her husband while he's working

You're probably thinking "wait but weeb this is actually kind of cute, where is the horror" and for starters it just kind of, mentally wears your energy down over time to 'never shut your brain off' and have true rest, like Lilith and Lucifer intentionally 'trade' you being alert in reality to you being more conscious in the dream world, so, you're not as present when you're around ACTUAL people as you are when you're in their little, fucked up pocket dimension.

Then you've got. The baby. You're pregnant ONLY in the dream. You have THE ACTUAL PAINFUL EXPERIENCE of giving birth, BUT THEN you're waking up and you can't hold your child, show them to your friends, have the, SANITY AND COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE. You're waking up DEVASTATED. Where's your baby? 🥺 oh right.... They're not... actually real... like it fucks you up psychologically

I just picture, if I were to put it in an order of events. You go from 1. Lilith and Lucifer are just your casual acquaintances, Charlie's parents that you know through her 2. They start getting closer to you as you stay longer at the Hotel 3. Ok we get along and have fun moments and even sing songs and we have fun times with your daughter ^^ 4. Ok you're getting maybe a little comfortable, am I tripping or are you a little too comfortable 5. You're Bush Out in Fake Eden 6. You accidentally slip up and get more cozy with them in reality because Ok Maybe The Stupid Garden Bullshit IS Fun And Maybe A Little Soul Healing 🙄 7. You're getting banged in the Garden 8. Being in reality is awkward now, suddenly you're avoiding them less, so you're dreaming about them more, having them push themselves closer to you in response to you trying to pull away, like even if you're spending entire days outside of the Hotel you can't escape needing to sleep eventually 9. Suddenly you're like, not in Eden, you're in a hospital getting an ultrasound w Lili Luci holding your hands as a doctor tells the three of you you're pregnant and oh no you're actually really happy and excited about it 🥺 10. crushing crushing reality. You're single and not pregnant and you're beating yourself up for these fucked up dreams you're blaming yourself for having, as if they're some self conscious desire and you're kinkshaming yourself for having them 11. Dream You is having your baby, everyone is so happy like it's actually so perfect, even when you're stressed as a first time parent you have so much love and support to keep you strong 12. You wake up and it's nothing but DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION where is my baby and my wife and my husband who love me and I love them DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION 13. Lilith and Lucifer HAVE TO to spill that Hey Our Baby Is Real because you're like going near insane with "grief" like youre like actually wanting to try and end your life or constantly self harming because Where Is MY CHILD 14. You're so fucked up at this point you don't care to ask questions when they hand your Very Much Real Baby to you looking exactly how you remember them from your dreams. You're just happy your baby is real and now you can be with them all of the time and you don't even care that um This Was Such A Fucking Ethically Dubious Conception.

Do you think the other Hotel residents would have a sliding scale of being ok with this. Like you just SHOW UP WITH THIS LITTLE BLONDE BABY IN YOUR ARMS and Lilith and Lucifer are all but glued to you and they're all fucking confused because WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? you barely even spend time with these two, or so they thought??? When were you PREGNANT??? HOW??? I feel like realistically if they aren't all, you know, as Equally Crazy For You, that they would find this extremely manipulative and fucked up MEANWHILE CHARLIE DOESNT CARE and may have been in on it.

Also "something something what if Reader being able to get pregnant also turned out to be like God Himself being like 'hey lucifer lilith here's the deal I'm throwing you a bone right now, ok, this is for you, to keep things chill between us mk' and there are added layers of Oh Shit You Were Created To Be With Them" as if your ass wouldn't have an impossible enough time escaping as is 😭💀

But like... the concept of Reader falling so deep into "grief" that it gets so bad that you're basically not eating or sleeping, Lucirer and Lilith were always gonna tell you but they're forced to do it abruptly because you just breakdown and can't stop crying. Or it's even Charlie disobeying her parents and running up to you with your baby who stops crying the moment they're in your arms

I also just... as a final note..... just as a cute palette cleanser there's one specific idea I keep thinking of... you have your new baby and you're showing it to all your Hotel buddies and you give it to Alastor to hold because your baby was giggling and gurgling at him and you're just, death grip on his shoulder, "alastor please hold my child :) they're excited go meet you, say hi" and while you're like, vaguely threatening him to interact with this baby which he has Extremely Valid Reasons To Find Abhorrent, his deer ears move or twitch, and your baby is just looking up at him with their big eyes, watching those ears twitch, and, poof! Your baby has their first Lucifer/Lilith related shape-shifting incident and suddenly your baby has twitching little red ears and they're looking up at Alastor with these big cute eyes and here you are, "alastor :) aren't you going to praise my baby :) they just had their very first shift and it's for you :) tell them what a good job they did :) you're not trying to make my baby uncomfortable are you :)" and. Ok Maybe this does win Alastor over a bit being the narcissist that he is BUT THE TRUE REWARD is Lucifer scrambling into the room after you call out in excitement, dropping to his knees and all but wailing, "NO, WHY IS MY BABY HAVING THEIR FIRST SHIFT FOR Y O U AND I MISSED IT" and you just have Alastor being an ABSOLUTE SHIT, suddenly oh so cozy with your baby, "well talent recognizes talent! This little one clearly has potential! Why, look at how clearly they ALREADY ADORE THEIR DEAR UNCLE ALASTOR >:)" and from then on you can't leave these two men alone with your baby or they'll be having nonstop contests to "win them over" and prove who the best role model/caretaker is

Ok. Lastly. Lastly lastly lastly. THIS BABY SPECIFICALLY IS RUINING MY LIFE. Look at those STUPID CHUBBY cheeks and those big eyes and how attentive and focused she is like oh my godddddddd if LiliLuci handed one of those to me "this is yours" i would just die like 🥺🥺🥺 man, I'll have to tell you guys later about my idea for "Reader wants to see if Rosie will let them adopt a Hellborn baby and Alastor helps vouch for you and lowkey becomes your husband/the child's second parent" or "Reader finds an abandoned imp baby and all the shenanigans/protective possessive feelings from your yandere/s that follow once you begin your motherhood journey "

[gilbirda]

what are your thoughts on watcher’s new announcement?

So.

I've been watching the Boys since they started back in 2016 (i think around that era), and honestly I'm very conflicted about the decision. I've read so much stuff in favor and against the announcement and I don't know if my answer will satisfy you.

I have managed a community and I have the blessing and curse of being somewhat of a Name, experiencing the ordeal of being Known, and I can tell you that 1)you can never please everyone 2)people will always rush to crush you the second you do something they don't agree with 3)people will always twist everything you do with the worst faith in mind and 4)fandom forget very quickly that at the end of the day you are just human.

I think they made a calculated risk based on a purely economical viewpoint. I think they considered their loyal fanbase and how willing people have been so far with spending extra cash to support them — The live shows, the exclusive streams (like the Valentine's Too Many Spirits) and Patreon. How much of their fanbase was the "broke students" tumblr claim they are and how much was people with spending money willing to pay extra for them.

I also think that the decision seem stupid if you look at it from the perspective of "why the hell would I pay $6 to watch such little variety of content?" and that's a Correct Assumption, but Observe — they have been very slowly pulling everyone that made Buzzfeed famous and enrolling them in. Very recently they gathered the Worth It boys, the second show that kind of carried Buzzfeed back in the day (apart from the Try Guys). I think they can't talk about it right now, but the goal is to relaunch Buzzfeed but without ads and without making it the soulless content machine it became. I think their dream and goal has always been making what Buzzfeed could have been with better management, kind of like "If I was the Management in this company, things would have been better" dream fulfillment. That's why they made the direct jump to a streaming service instead of the logical steps of Patreon-exclusive content or even jumping to Nebula like other youtubers. It was never meant to stay one single channel, it was supposed to be bigger.

Is the projection of making a "better Buzzfeed" worth risking this step? Time will tell. I don't know. I personally never cared about anyone except Buzzfeed Unsolved. I still watch Unsolved on repeat. Is my comfort show. Maybe they are overestimating how much people care about other shows not hosted by them.

Although they did hint that "we want shows not hosted by us". This tells me that they are settling down, they want to ramp down a little bit, do the hook with Ghost Files aka Unsolved Supernatural Lite for the streaming service, and once people are hooked, launch more shows by the old-school Buzzfeed people. Won't be as big as a show hosted by Shane and Ryan, but it will still make people feel like they are getting their money's worth.

I would forgive all of this if only they didn't use the excuse of "if we want to do Netflix-level productions we need money". I'm sorry but that means nothing to me. We loved them when it was a powerpoint slide show with 2 idiots in a set. We didn't fall in love with the toys or the trips or the high tech. We didn't fall in love with the fancy animations at the beginning of Ghost Files episodes that they are so proud of. That was all their idea.

I've seen this trend of content creators ramping up their creations to an unsustainable point, completely crash and burn and then having to apologize about having to step back. Then making it the moral trap of an argument that they have been doing their best to bring quality content to their audience, and of course making it impossible to argue against. If you speak up and say "well we never asked you to break your back" then you are ungrateful audience. That's exactly what's going on in here with the Watcher announcement — "true fans" criticizing people who point out the fact that they created this money problem on their own. Is not the fanbase responsibility to cater to a company's bad money decisions. Is not our fault that they decide to scale up their operation to a point they "haven't been making a profit for 2 years". It's unfair that the fans are at each other's throats for daring stepping back and saying "I don't want to be part of this".

I don't think Watcher Entertainment is actively wanting to collapse their fandom like this. I don't think this was a calculated move. But I do think that they are a group of adults trying to make a career of something they enjoy doing. I think they made this move with the perspective that fandom is not end all and they can always rebuild it.

— And that they are planning on making a machine that can work without them, and that requires breaking something in the fans, it requires kicking themselves out of the pedestal fans have put them on. They know they won't be allowed to have a normal life until people stop looking at them waiting for them to say their phrase.

In conclusion I think they made a choice that made sense if they are planning on separating Watcher Entertainment from "The Ghoul Boys" fame, and it makes sense if they are aiming at something bigger than what they've been doing now. Money of course is the goal and the reason presented, but there's a lot that they are not saying and we will not know until it happens.

Until then, it does feel like they have just shot their careers in the foot.

Also I'm salty that I can't join the service because I'm outside the US.

[cielcreations]

"Hung Up"

When Solidarity confessed his feelings to Tango, expressing his love and desire and asking the other on a date, Tango immediately said yes. He was so happy and excited, especially since he had been crushing on the other for what felt like years. They went on a couple of dates, smiling, laughing, getting to know one another, having fun.

"So, does this make us boyfriends?" Tango teased.

Solidarity blushed and smiled, going to say something before he paused. He seemed to remember something, then sighed, "Listen, I'm going to be completely upfront with you because I do want to be your boyfriend and stuff, but I have this... ex..."

"Is it a crazy stalker ex?"

"Not really. Just..." The dirty blonde tried to think of a way to word it, "He and I share a big friend group and he has convinced them that I'm apparently still hung up on him and that he was so kind to continue being my friend even though we broke up. Oh, and the reason I haven't dated anyone is cause I'm totally waiting for him to come back!" He groaned, visibly annoyed as sarcasm laced his voice, "Hell, he's convinced my siblings of this when he's the one calling me drunk in the middle of the night!"

"Why haven't you blocked him, if you don't mind me asking?" Tango questioned.

The dirty blonde sighed, "It's cause of the friend group we share. I've always been really awkward, so I just became friends with my siblings friends and then when I began dating Scott, my ex, I became friends with his friends. I don't really have a lot of my own friends and, if I block him, everyone would make it this big deal, like I broke the law or something and I just..." He sighed again, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to vent..."

"No, no, it's fine." The blonde reassured with a smile, gently putting a hand on his shoulder, "I understand. It's probably really annoying and frustrating and I'm guessing you don't have a lot of people to talk to about this."

Solidarity weakly nodded, "...I just don't want to rock the boat. Makes my anxiety shoot through the roof. If I just go with it, no matter how uncomfortable I am, it'll be fine."

Tango hugged him, "But that's not healthy, Soli..."

"I-I know, I know... I just don't know what to do..."

"We'll work on it, okay? First step to fixing a problem is acknowledging there is a problem, so you're on the right track already!"

Solidarity laughed before he hummed, "Anyways, all this to say that if we do start dating and you get these comments about how I'm supposedly not over Scott or how you're 'just a rebound', that's untrue and ignore it. Scott and I broke up in high school."

"Wait, wait, with how you talked about this, this sounds like a recent break up! You guys broke up in high school?"

"Yep. And trust me, I know." He sighed, "It's why I moved here, mainly to put some distance between myself and the friend group and my siblings. I don't want them to choose between Scott and I, but I just don't want to hear how hung up I apparently am or how I need to get back in the dating field or if I ignore Scott or don't do something for him, I'm holding a grudge!" He huffed.

Tango hugged him more, "Well, don't worry, I'm not one to take shit lying down! If they want to poke fun, I poke back but harder!" He giggled, "In the meantime, why don't I introduce you to my friends? It'll be good to meet new people, plus it will help to keep your mind of things!"

Solidarity smiled, "I'd like that."

The two became an official couple, Tango showing Solidarity off to all his friends. Solidarity asked Tango if he was okay with him waiting before he told his friends and siblings, Tango not minding. In the meantime, the dirty blonde fit right in with Skizz, Impulse, Zed, Bdubs, and Etho. With his clumsy, adorable but sweet attitude, it meshed well with the chaotic mess that could be Skizz and Zed in the same room. Solidarity also got along with Etho and Impulse, the three usually acting as the peacemakers when Tango and Bdubs joined in on whatever chaos Zed and Skizz tried to bring. It was overall a great thing and Tango could see his beautiful boyfriend seemed to glow even more. It was like a dark cloud he noticed that was always over Solidarity's head seemed to finally disappear, especially since he's been on his phone or computer less, talking to that friend group less.

One night, the group were all at Impulse's house, sharing a few drinks and laughs, when Solidarity's phone buzzed. He hummed, a bit tipsy as he answered the phone without checking the caller ID.

"Hello-" He paused and his face fell immediately. He looked at Tango, who looked at him, concerned. Solidarity then seemed to get an idea, eyes widening as he smirked, "Okay, wait one second, hold on!" He put the phone on speaker, leaning into Tango, "Can you hear me?"

"Yeaaaah?" A Scottish voice responded in a questioning tone.

"Okay, good." He then looked at the blonde, playing with his hair, "Tango, Light, could you introduce yourself to Scott for me?"

Tango's eyes widened before he smirked, taking the phone, "Hello Mr. Scott, my name is Tango Tek, aka light of Solidarity's life, aka his honey, aka his handsome man, aka his soulmate, aka his rancher, aka his boyfriend, and we are actually currently in the middle of making out so we would appreciate no more interruptions! I know it's been awhile for you, but I need Soli's soft lips on mine, it is quite addicting! To bad you can't experience it! Buh-byyyyyyyye~!" He hung up, everyone laughing as the blonde gave Solidarity his phone back and kissed his cheek.

"Who was that?" Zed asked.

Tango wrapped an arm around his boyfriend, "Crazy ex."

"Crazy stalker ex?" Etho prodded.

"Not stalker level yet." Solidarity reassured, "But definitely crazy ex. From high school."

"Yep, that'll do it." Bdubs joked, "Anyone need another drink? I'm heading to the kitchen."

The night continued and everyone slept over, seeing as they were not going to drink and drive. Tango and Solidarity shared the couch, the dirty blonde acting as Tango's blanket as they cuddled and slept together. So, it made it very obvious when Solidarity got off the couch, causing the blonde to stir as his weighted blanket was no longer there. He sat up, glancing around before hearing something outside. Tango walked outside and saw Solidarity, very clearly frustrated, tears in his eyes with the tension in his body.

"...Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, i didn't tell you guys for this exact reason?!" Solidarity yelled, "...Yeah, you're my brother, and yet you constantly choose Scott over me! Don't-! ...No, you can't even say that, don't you dare say that! I've told you repeatedly that Scott makes me uncomfortable, that I don't like him being around, and you, with everyone else, brushed me off because I 'have to get over him!'" The dirty blonde said in a mocking voice with air quotes.

He was silent, before hissing out, "He called me! The only reason you all now know I'm dating is cause Scott can't get over the fact I moved two hours away from everyone and refuse to give him my address or pick him up when he goes out drinking! I was going to tell you all on my time, but of course, Scott ruined it because he fucking ruins everything! So, yes, I am dating someone! Okay?! Happy?! Bye!" He hung up.

Tango moved and hugged him, Solidarity leaning into him. The blonde rubbed the other's back, feeling Solidarity shake in frustration as his tears stained Tango's shirt. Tango cooed and rubbed circles into his back, kissing his forehead.

"I'm so sick of him..." The dirty blonde murmured.

Tango nodded, "Do you want me to block him for you?"

"No, it-"

"I can be the bad guy. If he complains, tell him and his flying monkeys that I feel uncomfortable with your ex trying to talk with you."

Solidarity hummed, "Later... Just hold me now..."

Tango hugged him tighter, "Gladly."

After everyone had woken up and began eating breakfast, Tango took Solidarity's phone, sending Scott a text and prefaced it by saying it was him and how he didn't feel comfortable with Scott talking to Solidarity when they were together and to please not text or call him anymore before blocking him. When the two got home, Solidarity had gotten a bunch of texts from his brother and sister as well as mutual friends he had with Scott, all saying how they didn't know he was dating someone new, asking why he didn't tell them, and then asking why Tango blocked Scott.

"The more they talk, the more I just want to go no contact." Solidarity admitted, "It's always about Scott. If I don't help him, I'm an asshole holding a grudge over the breakup. If I do help, I'm still hung up. Blocking him for 'no reason' is not okay and I need to let go. I'm just so over this."

Tango took his phone and shut it off, "Okay, let's just forget about electronics for the day. How about we do something to get your mind off things?"

"Like what?"

Tango kissed his cheek, smiling, "We could go to the bedroom~?"

"Oh my god!" Solidarity laughed, "Trying to get in my pants when this is serious talk?"

"Serious does not mean important! Besides, it'll make sure your mind is only on me soooooo~?"

"You're ridiculous." The dirty blonde kissed his nose, smiling, "Let's go."

When Solidarity turned his phone on the next day, he sent a simple text to everyone.

Solidarity:  Yes, I'm in a new relationship, I have been for two months. I didn't say anything because I wanted to wait and get more serious. I also don't want to jeopardize this relationship. Out of respect for Tango, and myself, I'm going to ask you to stop trying to get me to talk with Scott. 

Of course, people tried to ask more questions, but he made another text, simply saying "I don't feel comfortable sharing anymore details. Please just respect my boundaries." Of course, some complained, but he just closed his phone, ignoring it.

"I think they're starting to see you've developed quite a backbone!" Tango encouraged.

"Thanks to you, really." The dirty blonde smiled, "I really like you and our relationship means more to me than that friend group. Time to actually prove it, I guess."

"I'm proud of you." Tango kissed his lips, "I know it's hard putting down boundaries and sticking up for yourself, but once you get used to it, it becomes easier."

Solidarity nodded, smiling.

***

Solidarity didn't introduce Tango to his brother and sister and the friend group for about a year. Tango respected his decision and understood why, judging from their reactions when the dirty blonde first blocked Scott, he wasn't sure they would even accept that Solidarity actually moved on. However, it was Christmas and Solidarity explained he had been skipping the past couple holidays because he knew Scott would be there and didn't want to deal with the inevitable.

"It's been a year and we've been together ever since. Why don't we give them a chance?"

Solidarity was hesitant, "...I don't know."

"Come on, please?" Tango hugged him, "I can handle myself just fine, love! And I can shut them down! You know I can!"

The dirty blonde hesitated again before he sighed, "The moment I feel uncomfortable and ask you to pack your stuff, we leave."

"Of course!"

So, they made their way to Solidarity's brother's house, two hours away. Solidarity tapped anxiously on the steering wheel, biting his bottom lip.

"It's okay, we'll be fine." Tango reassured, able to see the other white-knuckling the steering wheel.

"I-I just-!" He took a deep breath, "I know Scott is probably going to be there and he's going to mention our high school days a lot." 

Tango shrugged, "Okay?"

"We used to call ourselves 'Flower Husbands' because we were teenagers exploring our sexuality or how he was my first relationship or how he was my first kiss or how he was my first whatever else." The dirty blonde rolled his eyes, sighing, "He's just going to try to embarrass me or make you jealous or something else."

"Was he your first? In, like, the bedroom department?"

Solidarity blushed darkly, "T-TANGO!"

"Yes or no?"

"I-I already told you, you were my first- oh..." The dirty blonde chuckled, "You are going to use that, aren't you?"

The blonde snickered, "Of course! I'll just mention how I deflowered one of the Flower Husbands and maybe it'll shut him up!"

"Idiot." Solidarity teased.

They continued talking and laughing, having an amazing time as they distracted themselves while driving. Eventually, they pulled up to the house and Solidarity sighed, taking a deep breath. There were a couple of cars already crowding the driveway, so Solidarity just parked in the grass. Tango was the first to step out, but the dirty blonde didn't move. He went to the driver's side, opening the door and kneeling down. He could see the other shaking a bit, biting his bottom lip anxiously, tapping his fingers on the wheel.

"It's okay." Tango reassured, cupping his face, "Soli, it's fine. You know me, I won't get jealous or feel threatened or whatever, no matter what anyone says."

"I-I know, I just..." Solidarity leaned into his touch, closing his eyes as he shook a bit, "I'm not worried about you..."

"Excuse me?"

Tango turned, seeing a brunette woman standing on the porch.

"Can I help you?" She asked, "Are you lost? This is private property."

"Uh, no, I'm not lost! Hi, I'm Tango, Soli's boyfriend!" Tango explained, standing up.

"'Soli?'" She repeated, confused.

"Solidarity?" Tango explained, "I-I call him Soli!"

Solidarity hesitantly got out of the car, Tango hovering over him. He shut the car door and smiled, but the man could see the anxiety written on his face still. Solidarity took Tango's hand in his, the blonde squeezing reassuringly.

"Hi Pearl." Solidarity smiled, relaxing a bit as he motioned to the blonde, "This is Tango. My boyfriend for a year and three months."

"Four months, really! I just wanted to take you out on a lot of pre-boyfriend dates!" Tango argued.

"Don't tell on yourself, Tango, my sister will think you're a coward for waiting a month to officially ask to be my boyfriend." The dirty blonde teased before looking at Pearl, "It's good to see you."

The brunette laughed, "Awww, you both are cute. It's nice to meet you Tango!" She walked over, hugging her brother, "And good to see ya, Jim. Come on! We're still waiting on a couple of people!"

They walked inside and Solidarity introduced Tango to Grian, his brother, and then some of the people in the friend group. Gem and Fwhip (who were twins), Joel and Lizzie (a married couple), Cleo, Scar, and Mumbo. All were polite, introducing themselves.

"Other people will be coming, but it's good to finally meet Solidarity's secret boyfriend!" Joel teased, raising an eyebrow, "Scott will be coming, hope it won't make you uncomfortable." He said in a nice tone, but Tango and Solidarity knew he was mocking the blonde.

Solidarity narrowed his eyes slightly, annoyed.

However, Tango just smiled, "Actually, it'd be great to meet the person who drunk called at two am and immediately hung up when I answered!" He said in the same nice voice before he looked at the dirty blonde, fake gasping, "WAIT! Do you think he hung up cause he had a crush on me?! Oh my god, Soli, I'm not prepared, where's the bathroom! I need to make myself presentable!"

Everyone laughed besides Joel, who narrowed his eyes a bit. Solidarity looked at Joel, took Tango's hand and kissed the blonde's cheek before pulling him to the couch. Everyone either caught up with Solidarity or got to know Tango better. Occasionally, either Fwhip or Joel would slip in a snarky comment about Tango blocking Scott or feeling uncomfortable with Scott, but disguised it as playful banter. Tango never took the bait, laughing it off or giving it right back.

At one point, he asked Joel, "Oh, so Lizzie must still talk to her exes, right? Seeing as you're so interested in Soli talking to his!"

Joel actually seemed shocked by this, responding, "Uh, no? Why would she? We're married, I wouldn't want her doing that."

"Huh, weird that you wouldn't want your wife talking to her exes." Tango looked at Solidarity, "I couldn't imagine that."

"Me either." Solidarity hummed, looking at Joel, "Anyways, what were you saying about Scott?"

That seemed to be the moment Joel sort of backed off. Fwhip still tried to get under Tango's skin, but Solidarity knew his boyfriend was a master of "not giving a shit". He watched Tango take whatever was thrown at him and either laughed it off or gave the same energy right back. He smiled and leaned into the other, happy.

However, after about an hour and a half, a couple more people arrived. Tango was introduced to Sausage, Martyn and Ren (a couple, Martyn being one of the ones who Solidarity actually talked to on a regular basis and who Tango immediately liked as the blonde whispered to him "Scott's a huge dick but has everyone wrapped around his finger, don't let him get to you or Timmy."), Big B, and Cub.

And, of course, Scott.

The man was last to arrive. He walked in and everyone, besides Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren, cheered, saying hi to him and giving him a hug. Scott laughed and hugged back before turning. He gasped as his eyes landed on Solidarity, smiling brightly.

"Dary, oh my god, it's been forever! How are you? It's so good to finally see you again!" He opened his arms to give the other a hug.

Tango could see his boyfriend stiffen up. So, he stepped in front of him and hugged Scott instead, "Hi! It's nice to finally meet you! I've heard so much about you from Grian, Joel, and Fwhip!" Scott pulled back, confused, but Tango held his hand, shaking it.

"Oh, uh, who are-?"

"It's such a pleasure to meet you! My name is Tango!" The blonde smiled innocently, "I'm Soli's boyfriend! We've been dating for a year and four months, not that anyone is counting."

"Three. You insisted on taking me on one month pre-boyfriend dates." Solidarity laughed.

"But we were still exclusive!" Tango turned around and gave Solidarity a hug, the dirty blonde happily returning it, "So that month counts!"

"You know what? It's Christmas, we'll let it count!"

"Yes!" The blonde cheered before he looked back at Scott, leaning into the dirty blonde. Solidarity wrapped one arm around his shoulders as Tango hugged his side, smiling at the other, "Anyways, yeah, it's so nice to finally meet you!"

Solidarity offered his other hand, seeing as the one was wrapped around Tango and too occupied for a hug, "Good to see you again, Scott."

Scott was obviously displeased, but smiled, shaking Solidarity's hand, "You too, Dary."

The man left to greet everyone else as Martyn and Ren walked towards Tango and Solidarity.

"Well damn, I like you." Martyn chuckled, whispering, "You sure know the rules of Scott's game."

Tango smiled innocently, "No idea what you're talking about."

Solidarity laughed, "Mar and I fake dated for awhile in hopes of Scott dropping the whole 'I'm hung up' shtick, and he's never acted like that."

"You got under his skin good." Ren complimented, the four looking at Scott, who was talking with Joel and Lizzie, "He's just going to step up his game."

"Good." Tango chuckled, "I hope so. Soli, how uncomfortable am I going to make everyone?"

"You have my complete consent to do whatever you want to do."

"Ohoho, that's dangerous, Love."

"It is for them, Light."

For the night, Tango stuck to Solidarity like glue, acting like the clingiest boyfriend in the world and Solidarity couldn't be happier with it. They mainly sat on the couch and talked with others, Scott moving to sit beside them occasionally. Because Solidarity was sitting against the arm rest and Tango was next to him, Scott simply sat on Tango's other side, even though he seemed a bit unhappy about it. The conversation flowed with people asking Solidarity how he was doing, if he would be visiting more, and asking Tango about his work, what he did, etc.

Scott would try to bring up something about an old date, but Tango would "accidentally" interrupt, telling a story about their first date or the time Solidarity taught Tango how to ice skate or the time Tango showed Solidarity a trick he knew on how to always win claw machines, even taking out his phone and gushing about the cat he and Solidarity adopted together that Solidarity named Norman.

"He loves naming animals human names, it's sooooooo cute!" Tango giggled before gasping, turning to look at Scott, "Oh, sorry, I hope you don't mind! I'm just so happy to finally meet everyone! I mean, Soli was so scared coming down here, thinking I wouldn't be accepted or fit in. I'm sure you've had to help him through an anxiety or panic attack before, right!"

Scott stared, "No, actually, I haven't."

"Oh, really?" Tango asked, faking confusion because he knew the answer.

"Wait, since when have you had anxiety, Solidarity?" Fwhip asked.

Gem elbowed him, "Dude. Not how you ask."

"It's cool Gem, I was only recently diagnosed so I don't blame him." Solidarity chuckled, smiling awkwardly before looking at Tango, "It was I think two months after I met you? So that's... what, two years?"

"That sounds about right." He looked at the rest of the group, smiling innocently, "He must've changed a lot since high school if no one noticed." He hummed, looking at Scott, "Poor thing was so nervous no one would like me! He was so scared no one would accept me because they all were hung up on you and your past relationship!" 

Scott narrowed his eyes a bit, Solidarity blushing as he let out a "T-Tango!"

Everyone laughed, either not noticing the slight accusation or choosing to ignore it, conversation continuing to flow. At one point, Solidarity had to use the bathroom, the man standing up to go. Tango playfully cried out an "Don't leave me!", the group continuing to laugh, talk, and joke.

"Oh, Tango, I have to ask-" Scott smiled innocently at the blonde, "-does Dary still get embarrassed over PDA? I swear, kissing him is like pulling teeth sometimes!"

"No, actually! He loves to share kisses with me! He's such a giver, it's adorable!" Tango giggled, smiling back innocently, "He's such a cuddler too, he's like a puppy sometimes!"

"I guess that makes sense. I was his first kiss after all, he was so embarrassed about it. I could hardly get him to stay still sometimes!" Scott had a sly smirk on his face, "Guess you can thank me for his confidence! He learned from the best!"

"Nah, it's thanks to me! After all-" He leaned towards Scott, whispering in his ear as he smirked, "-I was the first one to get him to spread his legs."

Scott blushed darkly, eyes widening.

"His entire body was red, he was so embarrassed the first time. But now? I can't keep up, half the time. You should see him on his knees, begging. He's so good at it. He really is like a dog." Tango pulled away, smiling innocently, "A good one! The best one!"

Before anyone could ask or say anything, Solidarity came back. He sat next to Tango, the blonde smirking at Scott. He grabbed the other's chin and pulled him in for a kiss, Solidarity kissing back with no hesitation, even wrapping an arm around his waist. When they pulled back, Tango leaned into him, Solidarity keeping his arm in it's place.

Solidarity laughed a bit, face turning red, "You're ridiculous!"

"You love it!"

Scott excused himself to the bathroom, Tango just smiling.

Eventually, dinner was done and everyone got their plates of food. Scott had come back and got his own food. Tango and Solidarity hadn't noticed that they had switched places (with Tango by the arm rest), so Scott sat beside Solidarity. The blonde went to move or say something, but Solidarity gave him an "it's fine" look and smile. Everyone sat around in the living room, talking, bouncing stories off each other, Tango excitedly listening to the stories of young Solidarity, who either blushed in embarrassment or yelled to "not tell that one!" They asked Tango and Solidarity questions about them and their relationship, what it was like living two hours away, if they had any plans to move back, overall having a good time. 

Until the alcohol was brought out.

Grian offered cups to everyone, Tango looking at Solidarity.

"You drink as much as you want, I'll drive." Solidarity reassured with a smile.

"Can you drive me too, then?" Scott asked, holding his own cup and beginning to gently draw shapes on his arm.

Solidarity stiffened, "I'm sure someone else can, Tango and I have to go in the opposite direction of your place."

"Awwww, you used to do it all the time when we would sneak alcohol." Scott chuckled, "Remember when we would steal my from my dad's stash? Grian caught us one time and was pissed!"

"Yeah, cause I thought Solidarity had never drank before, especially when you were both fifteen!" Grian teased.

Scott laughed, everyone did, but Solidarity and Tango. Tango held Solidarity's hand, rubbing circles in his palm to try and ground him as the other was stiff.

"Come on, I don't drink and drive and I left my car at home knowing about the alcohol! Are you gonna leave this power damsel all by himself?" Scott teased, drawing flower shapes on Solidarity's arm, "Will Tango not let you?" He accused, but said it in a teasing manner, everyone but Solidarity, Tango, Martyn, and Ren chuckling a bit.

The blonde could feel Solidarity tense up more. He smiled innocently, "Scott, why do you always ask Soli, are you still hung up on him?"

"H-Huh?! What, no, he-"

"Then I think it's weird how you always ask Soli." Tango said in the same teasing voice, though his accusation was more clear.

"He's right, Scott!" Martyn called, also having that teasing voice, "You know what, Ren can take us home! Ren's not allowed to drink outside our house!"

"It was one time!" Ren groaned playfully, both still trying to keep the playful energy, trying to ease the tension.

"One too many times!"

Solidarity was still stiff.

Tango spoke up, "Listen, if I convince him to take you home, will you promise we won't get a drunk call? Look how beautiful Soli is! He gets more pretty in his sleep and I can't have you ruining my eye candy!"

Scott flushed before he smiled, recovering with, "Come on, can't we share him? I mean, he already has me blocked because I make you uncomfortable, I just want to spend more time with him! He rarely visits nowadays!"

"Gee, I wonder why." Solidarity said, unable to mask his annoyance.

Tango stopped the teasing, looking at the other, "Soli-"

"What's wrong, Dary?" Scott asked, still tracing shapes on his arm.

Solidarity took a deep breath and retracted his arm, standing up, "Tango, get your things, we're leaving."

Tango stood up and grabbed his and Solidarity's things, seeing as Grian and Pearl stood up, trying to stop their brother, everyone else too stunned to move or say anything at the suddenness.

"Timmy, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I just want to leave-" "Come on Jim, it's Christmas, please stay!" "Both of you, move, I want to leave!" "You were never like this before, what the hell happened?!" "You know what happened!" "No we don't because you refuse to talk or visit us half the time!" "I've told you why, you just refuse to listen to me!"

Tango grabbed Solidarity's arm, pulling him past them, "Come on, Love, just look down, I'll drive-"

"Hold on, we're talking-"

"With all due respect, Grian, your brother is about to have a panic attack!" Tango glared, standing in front of Solidarity, protecting him as the other shook. Martyn and Ren climbed over the couch and tried to calm him down as Tango hissed, "I'm trying to get him away from people and in a safe place so he can calm down! So, if you'll excuse us-"

"Oh, and you know so much more about him than me, right?!" Grian glared, "You guys have been together for a year and yet you know more than his own brother?"

"Apparently, I do, he moved away for a reason!" The blonde hissed.

"You-!"

"Come on, Soli-" 

Pearl grabbed Solidarity's arm, "Guys, please just calm down! Jimmy, if you need a safe place, you can go in your old room and-"

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND I WANT TO LEAVE BECAUSE THIS WHOLE HOUSE FEELS UNSAFE?!" Solidarity screamed, facing Pearl, retracting his arm, "THIS ENTIRE HOUSE IS UNSAFE BECAUSE OF HIM!" He motioned to Scott.

"Dary, what-"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" The man faced the other, "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU COUNTLESS TIMES, I DON'T LIKE THAT NICKNAME! I DON'T LIKE ANYONE WHO ISN'T FAMILY OR MY PARTNER USING A NICKNAME! I'VE TOLD YOU THAT, OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AND I'VE TOLD YOU WHY, AND YOU REFUSE TO FUCKING LISTEN!"

"Hey, let's all just calm down!" Lizzie exclaimed, "Scott didn't do anything-"

"Shut up, Lizzie!" Solidarity growled.

"Woah, don't talk-"

"Shut up, Joel!" The dirty blonde repeated, motioning around the house, "THIS! This is why I don't come down here, this is exactly why! Everyone pushes my boundaries and then tells me to calm down, that I'm overreacting, that I'm being too sensitive, that I can't take a joke! So you know what?! FINE! I won't be back!"

"Solida-"

"NO! I'm tired of this, I'm tired of all this! I'm tired of being told I need to move on from Scott, that I need to let go of a grudge, that I need to just accept things, stuff that I have already done!" Solidarity looked at Scott, glaring, "I wish I never dated you if this is how you would react. Congrats, you've convinced everyone, including my own brother and sister, that I apparently am hung up on you! Despite the fact I have recorded voicemails of you crying, saying how you miss me, how you love me, how you wish we could go back to the way things were! Despite the fact I would pick you up so you didn't walk home drunk, and you tried to kiss me or make me stay the night! Despite the fact you would touch my arms and back and legs and I would not reciprocate, in fact, I would go stiff or tell you to stop, but you didn't care! Despite the fact I moved two hours away so I didn't have to deal with this! Yep, I'm still hung up on you! Tango is totally just a rebound and I am totally just waiting for you to confess your undying love for me so we can live happily ever after! Yep, that's exactly what I'm doing!"

He motioned towards the room, "And you all believe it! Let me tell you all the truth! Scott and I broke up amicably and I haven't looked back once! In fact, I blocked Scott, because I was uncomfortable, but Tango was gracious enough to take the fall because he knew the drama would stress me out!"

"Timmy, come on." Martyn gently pulled the other away, "You don't have to prove anything to anyone-"

"I-I am happy in my new relationship!" Solidarity whimpered, Tango hugging his arm as he was led out, "A relationship where I am respected, my feelings are considered, I can speak and not worry about if I say is the right or wrong thing, where I finally was able to grow a fucking spine! Unlike here, where I feel so shitty because you all make it seem like my comfortably doesn't matter." He was led to the door, "F-For future reference, if Scott is here, I'm not coming. If any of you try to make me apologize or try to reconcile, I will block you. I've been debating on doing this for months, but Tango thought I should give you all one more chance, see if you all have changed. Clearly, you haven't."

Solidarity was led to the car, getting in the passenger seat. Martyn and Tango calmed him down as Ren gathered his and Martyn's things. Once he was calm enough, Tango shut the door, thanking the two profusely. Martyn gave Tango his phone number, asking him to please just text or call him when they got home, Tango promising he would. Tango then got in the front seat and began to reverse, driving away. The dirty blonde gave him his phone, which was already beginning to blow up with texts and calls. Tango took it and shut it off. They sat in silence, the blonde holding Solidarity's hand as the other shook, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm proud of you." Tango reassured.

"...Thanks... You did really good... Not letting him get under your skin..." The dirty blonde shook, wiping his eyes, "I just couldn't, not when he began touching me..."

"I understand, Love."

"I'm s-"

"No need to apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Boundaries are for you, not for anyone else." Tango looked at him, smiling, "You should be proud."

Solidarity smiled a bit, "Thank you." He whispered meekly.

The two sat in a comfortable silence, driving home.

AN: This was more of just a story of setting boundaries and me projecting onto my comfort characters. Hope you liked it even if it was more of a vent kinda?

[w2soneshots]

Can you make more of dad Simon and him freeking out wheb he has to be alone with the baby while we ste at the doctors. And he brings the baby boy to side cats bc he is not calming down

Baby boy -Miniminter

Words: 0.6k+

Warnings: none.

In which Simon looks after your baby for the first time by himself, when he’s struggling he goes to the boys for help.

a/n: i love this. enjoy!🫶🏼

"Ok, the bag with everything he needs is on the table, his lunch is in the fridge and try to put him down for his nap by 2." I said to Simon as I rushed to get my shoes on. We recently became parents to a beautiful baby boy. Simon has been amazing so far but today I have a meeting that I can't miss so he's looking after Oscar for the day. I tried to lay everything out ready for him to attempt to calm his nerves. He knows everything that I told him already but when he gets stressed I know his mind goes blank. "I love you, have fun!" I quickly kissed both of my boys on the cheek then left.

Simon's pov:

"I can do this. Everything is gonna be fine." I tried to reassure myself. I sat on the couch and got comfy, rocking Oscar back and forth gently. After just an hour he began hysterically crying. "Shh, it's ok daddy's here, shh. Please." I pleaded to the small but extremely loud baby in my arms. I've already tried changing his nappy, giving him some of his lunch (he wanted nothing to do with it) and putting him down for his nap a little early but he just continued to cry.

I couldn't call y/n because she's in the middle of a very important meeting. So I text the boys: "guys I don't know what to do he won't stop fucking crying😫" I got a reply almost immediately "we're just about to film for the pod, bring him here?" Tobi text. I sighed in relief "you sure? I don't want him to disturb you" "yes mate, I've been wanting to see him for ages!!" Harry replied. I quickly got myself and Oscar ready, grabbed the bag y/n had thankfully packed for me and left.

The drive felt like torture, I was desperately trying to focus on the road while a screaming baby wiggled in the back seat. When I finally parked up outside the tall building where we film more sidemen and things for side+ I quickly got out and grabbed Oscar from the back. When I got inside I checked in and apologised for the interruption, thankfully everyone was really nice about it. "How can someone this little make such a loud noise?" I thought to myself as the lift came to a stop.

"Hey! I could hear you coming from down the hall." Tobi said once I made it to the office. "Yea." I replied tiredly. "Oscar!" Harry shouted, running up to us "oh nelly. Can I hold him?" He asked. I nodded quickly. Harry gently took him from my arms and went to sit down in the side cast set. He stopped crying. I mentally thanked Harry. "How on earth does y/n do this, she's amazing" I thought. One of the team members brought me a coffee and I quickly drank it as I watched Harry gently rock Oscar. "I never knew you were so good with kids." Tobi spoke to the Guernsey boy. "Yea, before Oscar and Olive came about I assumed you didn't like em." I added. Harry chuckled quietly.

"The girls are gonna go crazy when they see that pod." Tobi said as we left, referring to the fact Harry sat with a baby the entire time we were filming and kept getting distracted by his light snoring. I laughed "one hundred percent." Harry sighed "well I better get home, see you boys tomorrow." I nodded "thank you guys, I seriously don't think I could have gotten through today if it wasn't for you." I said sincerely. "Don't sweat it, we know you'd do the same." Tobi stated.

When I got home I sat with Oscar until y/n got back. The door clicked and then opened "hey! How are my boys?" She said practically dropping everything in her hands. I sighed "good." She cocked her head slightly "not as easy as you thought?" "No definitely not." I replied. She giggled.

[ironbatpaperturtle]

PT 4: Time travel AU

Adam smirked watching as Eve held the staff with confidence. The supposed callouses on her hand from wielding the weapon remains undetected. Adam would have to thank Eden for the immediate regeneration and the 'no concept of pain'.

It helped when they'd spare and Adam accidentally gets carried away, resulting in cuts and bruises littering Eve's freckled skin. Adam thinks that he should feel guilty. But honestly? Earth was unforgiving.

The animals that used snuggle up to them in Eden turned bloodthirsty, illneses everyday, fuck-ass vicious weather, poisonous food. Point is . You won't get out of it unscratched.

He'll make it that if she ever chooses free will over him then she'd thrive. Even if she ends up hating him for leaving her. It doesn't matter. Adam deserves to live a lavish life. Everyone else are just piles of shit Adam needs to overcome.

Speaking of shit, Adam can feel the gaze of a specific piece of shit from the trees. He's been extra sticky today, really, genuinely, like a pile of hardened shit that got stuck in between the cracks of a shoe.

How many times has he said shit?

"Eve, sweetie, come here" Adam hummed, Eve, ever the submissive wife, placed the staff down and stood next to Adam. The cuts she recently developed quickly fading away.

"You go get us some pears and berries, I'll clean up" Eve nodded at the order, walking away, but not before kissing Adam on the cheek. He watched as she went through the trees.

Once out of sight Adam's gaze shifted, his eyes narrowing as he locked onto the hiding snake. There it was, coiled in the shadows, with its slithering, slimy presence. Nasty

What Adam would trade for a day of normalicy. Fucking cunt has been on their necks for a while, 3 times he'd try to tattle on Adam, none obviously succesful since he's still in Eden kicking ass with Eve.

____

"Fuck" Adam silently cursed watching as Eve played with the lion instead of hitting its weak spots like Adam's taught her. The other lion Adam used as an example layed immobalized beneath his feet.

He sighed and crouched down to hit the lion's pressure spots. The lion, Lyah, shook herself out of the trance, pacing in circles to move her limbs before climbing on top of Adam to lick his face.

Adam crouched down, barely stopping the lion from licking him "Sorry, girl," his face was practically covered in sticky lion saliva.

Lyah, seemed utterly unfazed by the mess and instead, continued to loll her tongue out happily.

"Okay okay I get it" Adam giggled, well not giggled, snorted. Wiping the excess saliva from his face, he gently pat Lyah's head. Despite the unexpected shower of affection, Adam's really glad that the animals aren't jumping on him for the sole prospect of eating him.

"Adam"

Show time bitch. Adam turned to Michael, presenting a grin, behind Michael was a bunch of citrus trees. Adam could spot a cockatiel sitting ontop them. And Adam would bet his balls that it's Lucifer.

"Michael I've discovered something about lions!" Adam waved him over waiting for Michael to crouch down, shamelessly he took Michael's ungloved (thank god) hand using it to rub Lyah's stomach

"It's so soft and smooth but a different kind of smooth" Adam didn't forget to make his voice high pitched, like a kid making an obvious observation.

Adam noted at how Eve watched them in wonder. Manipulation at its finest babe

"And now touch me" okay well . . . just ignore that

He led Michael's hand to his chest, intently watcing as the angels poker face cracked, barely, still a win. Good, Lucifer probably said something abput Adam paralyzing the lion, he could work with this, he could fake this.

"Do you feel the difference?" Adam hummed keeping his voice low, dragging the hands that were directly on his chest to the underside, the angels thumb almost in-contact with the first mans nipple.

". . .Yes"

"Good" Adam directed Michaels hand back to Lyah, this time he made it go from the stomach to her head

"Her hair's completely different from mine and Eve's!" from the corner of his eye he could see Eve twiddling with her hair, following the observations.

"Feel me again!" again ignore that

The angels left hand was back too pressing itself on Adam's chest, his right hand was on Adam's hair, their hands intertwined.

"Feel the difference again?" hushed and low, added with a tilted head. At such a small distance Adam could see how the stars below the angels eye and forehead glowed blue, weird wasnt it usually yellow? Is that how they blush?

". . . Yes"

Adam grinned, well internally grinned, an evil one too. He knows how much angels get flustered over basic hand holding. The Lucifer he knew certainly was. And it seems like this one was no different.

Silently he made the hands go back to Lyah, sorry girl, hands still interwined he used the angels hands into pressing the pressure points. Lyah, who was basking from the affection froze, immobalized.

"And when I press here they also go like this!" Eugh, how long does Adam have to keep pretending, shits turning stale real fast.

Michael didn't react to the lion he immobalized. The stars dotted on his face were still blue, eyes intently where Adams hands were.

Now Adam wasn't a psychic, he can't read peoples mind, totally cool if he could though. But he knows that Lucifer's 'accusations' were already squashed, he also knows that behind him, where the citrus trees lay, was Lucifer shit talking him.

And Adam's proffecient in shit talking. A whole PhD or whatever the humans coined in the future, err, past. Again whatever

The point is, Lucifers ruffling up his already fucked up feathers, shit talking him. And its because Adam's playing buddy buddy with the better brother.

____

Lucifer couldn't believe it, instead of Adam denying the fact that he paralyzed the lion he made it into an accident. A 'happy' accident at that.

His anger was short lived as Adam's new wife, which he totally did not forget about, shouted. Asking for Adam to let her touch his chest too. Something Lucifer choose to ignore in favor of glaring at how Adam gently smiled at her.

____

Lucifer, with a tired sigh and a roll of his shoulder, shifted back to his form. He'd rather go back outside Eden before he gets another look of dissapointment from Michael, or a scolding from Sera.

Banishment from Eden wasn't bad, Lucifer could still sneak in. His access to Heaven was still granted. And well, he still has

"Lucifer"

"Lilith" Lucifer called out with sigh flying towards Lilith, using his arms and wings to hold her.

"Were you able to expose Adam?"

"Ah. . . no he keeps" outsmarting me "he's charming my brother and Sera"

Liliths hold on Lucifer tigthened "I see, well, its not your fault. Sooner or later Adam would crack, especially if he doesn't have a companion"

Oh right, Lucifer was so distracted by Adam that he completely forgot. Shifting his wings he carefully let go of Lilith.

"Actually, Adam has a new wife"

====

1

[i-guess-im-into-this-now]

The Apothecary Diaries

S1E12 First Watch

Here's where I watch The Apothecary Diaries for the first time and give my thoughts, analysis, predictions, and occasionally I stumble into a joke.

To start at the beginning:

Episode 1

Character/Location Cheat Sheet:

Sir Kounen- a formerly respected officer, who recently died

Verdigris House- a brothel that Maomao works for

Lihaku - the young officer that made a deal with Maomao

Every episode, I think Oh this is my new favorite episode. And this episode is no exception. I freaking loved this.

Oh Jinshi. The crux of your challenges has trapped you firmly, and you can't escape without making a monumental decision.

Everything in Jinshi's character arc has been leading to this moment. Will he choose to submit to the obligations of his station, or will he try to protect Maomao from this? Would she even want to be protected? Her sense of of responsibility may prevent her from wanting to escape punishment for this, but she's not personally guilty, perhaps she should be protected without her knowledge? Isn't this scenario exactly what Maomao warned could happen? That Jinshi would be powerless to prevent harm coming to Maomao?

Gaoshun offers to cover it up.

Gaoshun: We could conceal this if you wish?

Jinshi: Should I wish? Have I the right?

Jinshi's been able to get by without naming the emotions up until now. No, that's not right. I think he knows what he feels. But now he questions the appropriateness of those feelings. How deep do they go? What is he willing to do because of them? Should he even be having feelings for someone who hasn't indicated that she returns them? Does he have the right to act on her behalf when it's only him who feels this way? When she's said before that she wants to leave the palace what right does he have to keep her there?

Jinshi: Just or otherwise, if I say it, it's done.

He could do it. He could protect her from this.

Jinshi: I should just give the order. It would be such a simple thing. Conceal the facts. Keep her right here at the rear palace.

He's tempted to do it.

Jinshi: But what of will? Is mere compliance enough? How would she feel if she learned she'd been maneuvered to stay? In a place she loathes so.

Radical idea here, but he could ask her.

Got to appreciate that Jinshi is sparing a thought to how Maomao would feel about being maneuvered, as if he hasn't been doing just that throughout the entirety of their relationship. I'm glad he's realizing that it's not great behavior. Picked a hell of a time to learn respect, but here we are. We will have to watch and see if this lesson sticks.

Jinshi: I'm terrified of widening that rift growing between us any further.

Jinshi! You're so self aware! Good work!

I've thought for awhile now that Jinshi's main struggles come from external sources like the pressures of his station and expectations of this status. He seems to understand pretty well what he's feeling, and he even knows what he wants, so he's way ahead of a lot of other male leads. In this moment what he feels and what he wants is in conflict with what is expected of him. But he doesn't struggle for long with it, he's willing to defy those expectations. And what a thing to see. Jinshi just so easily lets go of the expectations of his position. He shouldn't even think about letting this girl go. The order to punish her has been given, there is no room for him to question it, it is simply his duty to fulfill it. But here we are. Very telling that. Instead, what he struggles with is: what is the best choice for Maomao. Is it better to protect her and keep her nearby or let her receive the punishment which, it sounds like would also free her from the palace?

And so he doesn't know what he should do.

Gaoshun: Master Jinshi. I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you?

Gaoshun.... you've been here the whole time, have you not been paying attention? At least listen to gossip if you can't read the room. Everyone knows what's up with these two.

That question does stop Jinshi though. He makes a frustrated sigh through his nose. No. Not merely a pawn. But the question does really force the issue: does Jinshi claim these his feelings? Even if he does, should he take them into account when making this decision? What is best for Maomao?

I do enjoy seeing him suffer.

Palace gossip! Mass lay offs! Anyone with any connection to Fengming's family is being evicted!

Maomao pieces together the problem right away. Oh poor Maomao! She's searching everywhere for Jinshi but can't find him! And she's in a panic. Her panic is making me feel panicky! I know she's worried about ending up in the brothel, and we've seen this from Maomao before. She's terrified that she might end up as a courtesan. To put this into perspective, Maomao walked into the Garnet Palace last episode, with her torso wrapped in stiffened cloth because she thought she might get slashed. And she didn't bat an eye to do that. The thought of serving clients as a courtesan is worse than the fear of death to Maomao. I'm not sure if there is more to this fear than we've already seen or not. It looks like a trauma response. That mixed with her fear of intimacy, and oof, that's a bleak future for Maomao.

Jinshi stopped in to the empty Garnet Palace. He's missing his mother. Perhaps, this is the type of thing they would have talked about, and he no longer has her to turn to for her guidance. He's so alone here, both physically in the pavilion, and emotionally, as he tries to make sense of his emotions and thoughts.

She found him! He seemed almost reluctant to turn around when he heard her call. He doesn't want to do what comes next. But he's not one to shy away from difficult conversations, even this one.

Jinshi: My how rare. You're flustered.

He tries a teasing greeting, a familiar way of relating to Maomao, maybe even a mask from him to hide the turbulence inside. Neither one of them is calm right now, even though Jinshi is doing a good job of projecting it. Maomao isn't interested in pretending to be calm, couldn't be calm even if she wanted to. She can't even form a sentence at first. Jinshi immediately drops the teasing and brings her inside to talk.

Maomao wants to know about the layoffs, if they affect her, if she's to be let go. And Jinshi hesitates in his response.

Maomao: So then, I'm to be let go too? Jinshi: ...are you?

Jinshi is letting his fear override his usually keen perception. He hears her question as hopeful.

I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you? No, she's more, he knows it. But he may be nothing more than a pawn to her. Jinshi doesn't think she returns his feelings, and if she leaves, she never will. He hears her say "I'm to be let go too?" and his heart breaks, she wants to leave.

I thought she was just a convenient pawn to you? No. She's not a pawn. She isn't something he can move around to his liking. He can't force her into a life she doesn't want. He has to let her leave.

Maomao: As Lady Gyokuyou's lady in waiting, I can ply my craft with both purpose and support. A lifestyle I cherish most dearly.

She loves living here. It is rewarding to be able to use her skills to help others. Her purpose is in how she can best serve others, and this position has allowed her to do that. She is proving her capability to herself by repeatedly succeeding on her own, rather than operating under the supervision of Luomen. This place has been good for her.

Maomao: But still, I'm just a lowly servant, I'm in no position to assert my wishes here. No matter what, I mustn't beg.

And just like Jinshi is caught by the crux of his own challenges, so is Maomao. Her worst fears about becoming a courtesan are about to come to bear, but she still can't find the self-worth to think herself worthy of asking for another path.

Maomao: My place is one of service. Should I remain then I'll be of use, from kitchen duty to food tasting. Whatever you want of me.

Jinshi considers it bitterly, whatever I want. He knows Maomao would agree to anything that Jinshi asks of her right now. If he were a different kind of man he could ask for any number of things, but none of it would be what he really wants, which is for Maomao to feel the same way.

Furthermore, she says "whatever you want of me." Yet she never says what it is that she wants. But Jinshi doesn't need for her to say that she wants to leave, after all she didn't choose this life. It was forced upon her. And who wouldn't want the freedom to make their own choices about how they should live their life? Certainly Jinshi can understand that. Whatever he wants. It doesn't matter here.

Maomao would do just about anything to avoid leaving the palace at this moment. She is so anxious as she awaits her sentence but won't speak a single word to try and sway Jinshi. To the man who always asks for her thoughts, she says none of them in this moment when it matters most.

And it's to the detriment of them both.

Jinshi: Fine then. I'll let you go.

He's letting go of everything here. He's not just letting her go from the palace, he's releasing his grasp on her. The control he has to maneuver her, the claim he laid when he gave her the hair pin, the friendship they have tenuously built up, everything. She's about to walk out of his life, and he's going to let her. He thinks this is what she wants...

Jinshi is too afraid to read Maomao, afraid of what he might see there, too wrapped up in his own pain and fear to see what her reactions reveal. He chokes back everything that's eating him alive and says he'll let her go. Which falls like a death sentence on Maomao.

A tragic miscommunication. 😭

I love what it means for the story though! Maomao is going to have to face her fears! And Jinshi... well, I just hope he'll be okay... He's had a series of major losses (Sir Kounen, Lady Ah-Duo, now Maomao). I'm actually a little worried here.

But this story was due for a shake up and Maomao has growth to do, and she's not going to do it without facing her trials. I don't write the rules, it's just how stories work!

Honestly I'm a little excited to see how she handles the debt to the brothel. I feel like her worst fears from episode 1 are about to come true. She's going to have to work at the brothel! Will Jinshi know? What will he do if he finds out? What will I do when I find out!

Oh Jinshi... is not doing well. Yeah, that wrecked him.

Gaoshun: How long do you intend to sulk like that.

That's... not a helpful thing to say. Jinshi is pretty depressed actually. And considering that he has taken hit after hit to his support network, he could really use a friend right now, not... whatever the fuck Gaoshun thinks he's doing.

Gaoshun: You could have ordered her to stay you know.

No, Gaoshun, you don't know. Jinshi has more emotional intelligence in his honeyed little finger, than you have in your whole being.

Gaoshun at least has been keeping tabs on what Maomao has been up to. We learn that she had a week to say goodbye and prepare to leave and then return to the Pleasure District. I wonder if Jinshi is also following Maomao's movements. I think he probably isn't. I think he really is trying to give her the clean break he thinks she wants. And really, wouldn't hearing about what she's been up to, just be more painful to him?

Lady Gyokuyou knows what this means to Jinshi and tells him he's made a blunder. "Blunder of the century," she calls it. God, I love her.

Wow somehow Gaoshun has managed to finally figure out that Maomao is not just a toy to Jinshi. I wonder what clued him in? Was it the utter heartbreak or the crippling depression?

Gaoshun: He only really let her go because he couldn't bear the thought of using her.

Yes.... that is correct! Good job Gaoshun!

Gaoshun is worried Jinshi won't get past this. He wants to intervene on his own. I knew he had a soft spot for Maomao! Or maybe he can't stand to see Jinshi in this state. I know it's breaking my heart. Either way I hope Gaoshun can do something! Because I'm pretty sure neither of these idiots are going to make the first move themselves.

Yup Maomao fell directly into the clutches of the Madame of Verdigris House.

She's got to go to a party outside the brothel at a wealthy nobleman's mansion. The courtesans are eager to give Maomao a glam up, and yeah she looks beautiful this way, but I wonder how she feels. She's not panicking, or being dragged to the party, so in some way she must have accepted her situation. She's always been adaptable in the past. It helps that she isn't expected to take clients of her own yet.

But it is on her mind. She list a bunch of courtesan's skills that she doesn't possess, and describes herself as "just an apothecary's daughter." We once again see her self deprecating thoughts. She can't understand what the Madame sees of value in her.

Why does the Madame insist that Maomao become a courtesan even without special skills? First of all, Maomao, may not see it, but obviously she's lovely. One only need to pay attention to the reactions she gets from those around her. She hears those compliments as meaningless flattery, and not as they are meant, which is earnestly. Second, Maomao is captivating. She's intelligent, and funny, insightful, and witty. She could charm the pants off of any client, if she were inclined to do so.

OMG, I'm excited for this party!

Maomao considers and rejects stealing. Lol. She does seem to struggle with impulse control. We've seen her binge drink before. And we've been told she can't be trusted with to be ethical with corpses. I'll add desire to steal to the list.

Lihaku came through with some of his connections to make this night happen. Awesome, he owes Maomao big time, so I'm glad he's able to do at least this.

Maomao decides to grin and bear her way through the night, as the courtesan's ply their skills to create an enchanting atmosphere.

Holy shit it's Jinshi! At the courtesan party! Yay!

Oh this is what Gaoshun arranged! He must have met with Lihaku to organize it. Good man Gaoshun. Way to maneuver Jinshi. Also, Gaoshun is finally on team JinMao! Took him long enough! I guess he just needed to know Jinshi was serious about Maomao. Gaoshun is captain of the of the ship today!

By the way, how the hell did Gaoshun get Jinshi to attend this party?! He so clearly doesn't want to be here. Is this like when guys drag their heartbroken buddies out to the club to try to cheer them up? Or does Jinshi often go out with the guys for a night on the town? Or to enjoy an evening with courtesans? I'm sure Jinshi is tons of fun at parties what with his taking pranks too far, and crying when drunk.

She frickin touched him! She did it herself! Is this an impulse she gave in to, or did she do it deliberately?

Jinshi wants nothing to do with some random courtesan at this party and asked to be left alone, until Maomao calls his name and he instantly reaches for her. She flinches back. There is a no touch policy. I wonder whether that's the only reason she pulls back. We saw in the last episode, that Maomao allowed Jinshi to hold her, and I wondered if that level of intimacy would last. Here these two are in a totally different environment, freed from the power inequality that existed between them before. She could allow him to touch her, if she chose to. Her excuse before about how he shouldn't touch her because of her class, doesn't work here. She's a courtesan, and he's a client. If she allows it, it's perfectly acceptable for him to touch her.

Jinshi comments on her makeup, but I think what he means here, is that he didn't recognize her because she looked so different, not that he has a preference of her with or without makeup. He asks why she is dressed the way she is, and is shocked to learn that she's working at this party. And yup, he hasn't been keeping track of her since she left the palace. He really did intend to let her go.

Maomao is somehow offended that Jinshi would think that she's taking clients at this party full of courtesans, after she just told him she's working here. It's a very understandable assumption for Jinshi to make, but she doesn't like that he thinks of her that way. She wants to be respectable in his eyes, even if she doesn't think she's worthy of him.

Jinshi wants to buy her out of here. No thought. Just offers it instantly. Good man. I do think he offers it with pure intensions, though, boy could it be taken with implications. Maomao mutters "actually that could work," and for a split second Jinshi thinks she's considering something he didn't mean to offer here.

Holy shit this is the realest conversation they've ever had and all it took was life altering circumstances and every possibility that they would never see each other again. A lot of the pretense between them has fallen away, because there is no reason to hold back their thoughts or emotions now. Maomao has already left the palace and Jinshi has no control over her here. She's free to interact with him honestly. And Jinshi, is hiding nothing. This is the most transparent I have seen him be with Maomao. Just completely open, with everything spilling out.

Maomao makes Jinshi laugh, when she says the only thing she missed while working in the rear palace was being able to dabble in poisons. And that is probably the first time he has laughed or even smiled since this lady walked out of his life over a week ago. You can almost see the weight lifting off him, as the conversation progresses.

It's such a beautiful scene, it's like the cloud of dread that has been hanging over both of them, is able to dissipate. Jinshi will help get Maomao out of here, and back to where she wants to be, and he'll have her close again, working in the palace. He really only needs the smallest drop of hope to motivate him.

Alone each of them struggles to face their separate challenges. Maomao with her crushing debt to the brothel, and the "sordid fate" she is desperate to avoid. Jinshi with his crushing isolation and loneliness. Together, they can easily solve each others problems. They work better when they work together.

The next exchange requires us to read between the lines but is so important:

Jinshi: Do people ever tell you, you're hard to read?

I'm sorry I misunderstood you.

Maomao: Yes. Routinely.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I wanted.

And just like that, they're friends again. This is the best.

And Jinshi, would really, really like to touch her now. She took her boundary down for him before, and now she's trying to put it back up. He's not having it. They've both worked hard to take down the walls between them, and he's not going to let her retreat just because she's scared. He keeps pushing her, until he gets a concession.

Maomao: And here I'd almost forgotten how persistent this guy could be.

It's something she likes about him. That he doesn't give up on her. That he pushes her to be brave and take chances. She sighs and acts like she's begrudgingly allowing him a favor, but I think she's actually nervous, and anticipative. It's not something she could ever ask him to do, and probably not something she would like to admit she wants from him. That he has been so persistent gives her the pretense she needs to indulge in it, without having to examine her own desires.

Woah.

Holy shit.! That was actually really hot.

Jinshi touched her lips with his fingers then he touched them to his own.

Damn, I love when characters do that. When they take a bite of food at the same place as the person of their affections. Or drink from a cup in the same spot. When you do it in front of that person, it's a declaration of a desire to kiss them. And the freaking eye contact right after. God damn.

Jinshi has no right being this hot right now, with that smudge of lipstick on his own lips. Maomao agrees. So does everyone at the party. Literally every courtesan in the room thought that was hot as fuck. Could there be any higher praise?

Of course Gaoshun is pleased! Freaking Gaoshun whose life just got so much easier, now that his boss isn't going to be sulking all week. Gaoshun who arranged this whole affair. Gaoshun the MVP, the GOAT, the KING. Thank you my man for saving the JinMao ship!

Maomao blanks out for the rest of the night, unable to think of anything but that kiss thing that Jinshi did. Most of the other courtesans are so, so happy for her (I'm not sure about the one in red). In their eyes Maomao just did something amazing. She so thoroughly enchanted a man in her first night of working that he offered to buy her out. None of them are jealous, none of them are questioning what he saw in her. They are just so very happy for this girl they adore.

We see her later, back in Verdigris house, she's freckle free and feeling mostly okay about it. We aren't seeing the anxiety that we did before. She still thinks it's a good idea to paint them on her face, because altering her appearance does offer her more protection, but it seems like her motives for wanting to do it are shifting slightly.

Maomao ponders the quirks of her strange fate. And how much things have changed in the year or so that she's been at the palace. She's worried about the people in the rear palace. It's where her heart and mind keep straying.

The Madame asks Maomao what she plans to do from now on. And that is the question isn't it. She'll have to pay off Verdigris House of course, but she already knows Jinshi will help her with that. Will she have a debt to him for this? She will probably see it as such, regardless of how Jinshi sees it. They didn't exactly go into details when they were discussing Jinshi buying her out of her contract, but it sounded like Maomao was planning on working off that debt at the palace. I get the feeling that this won't be like before, where Maomao was an indentured servant. Where she was forced to do whatever was asked of her. I think she'll be offered a job as a free agent. An employee with a lot of debt, but not one who is owned by the palace. But is this what Maomao wants? She loved working as Lady Gyokuyou's food taster. Will she be able to return to that position after just being expelled from it? Will Jinshi offer her a totally different job? Maybe there is something she is even more suited to, that she will enjoy? Somewhere in the palace that she can still practice medicine. Regardless, we know Jinshi will seek her help in the quandaries that fall to him. Also, will her new position in the palace give her a chance to visit the mysterious "annex?" I'm not giving up on that until this show explains it!

Maomao: It's not as if the Rear Palace and brothels are really that different.

Again comparing the two places.

Maomao is at her father's home, and can't sleep. Maomao is pondering what she wants. She may really have some latitude to choose her path now. She could just stay at her father's home. She could help in the garden, continue to learn medicine from him, slowly take over his apothecary trade. It's the path she thought she wanted in the beginning of the story.

She's back where she started this story but she's not at all the same.

But now she's seen a different path. She loved her work in the Rear Palace. There were people there who relied upon her, and it felt really good to be needed and wanted. There are people there that she cares about. Should she really walk away from them?

Maomao: The difference between a brothel and a palace is ornamental. It's a garden and it's a cage.

We see Maomao in the snow covered garden. It's Winter, the snow blankets everything. It's a time of rest and reflection. A time to prepare for the spring that will come. Maomao reflects on a series of images that took place over the last year, perhaps she's reflecting on her role in each of the scenarios, ways she was able to be of help to others. She has the agency to choose her place now, so where will she choose to plant herself this Spring? Where will she grow and blossom? Which garden will she allow to cage her?

And of course Jinshi came for her. Was there ever any doubt? He brings a fortune with him to pay off Maomao's contract. I'm choosing to believe that he far over paid because Maomao is worth a great deal more than any debt she owed. And Jinshi, god he's so thoughtful and brilliant for this, he brings her a rare herb. She knows what it is with a glance and now she's just as happy as the Madame. He really pays attention to everything, and knew precisely what would make a perfect gift for her. A gift he didn't have to bring. A gift that is so well done, that it changes what is the disreputable business of buying another human being, into something else entirely. This is much more like a bride price, given by a groom to the family of a bride. Not that I think that is what is happening here, but the significance of the gift changes the implications of this moment.

This episode seems to revolve around choice. Specifically for Maomao. Small choices like, should she allow Jinshi to touch her? And big choices, like what kind of life will she choose for herself? Whereas in the first part of this series, Maomao adapted to whatever situation she was thrown in, now she can do what she wants. But that requires her to know what she wants. And that requires self-reflection and honesty. Vulnerability. Which is something Maomao consistently struggles with. I'm so interested to see what she chooses.

To start at the beginning:

Chapter 1

Next Episode:

Episode 13

[wordsaresimple-imnot]

Truth or dare - Joe Toye x F!Reader

Summary: Could taking Toye's cigarette from his mouth on a dare be the push Reader and him need to cut the recent tension in their friendship?

Warnings: Cursing, heavy make-up, suggestive ending. 1st person POV (female, no use of y/n).

A/N: I have the biggest respect for the real life heroes of WWII (and all other wars, past & current), this work & all other works is based on the actor(s) and character(s) portrayed in the Band of Brothers series.

A/N pt 2: This is the second fic I've posted today and I'm really hoping it's good. The ending leaves room for a possible smut part 2 if anyone is interesting. Comments, likes, reblogs mean everything to me. Thank you & enjoy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's so funny?" I ask as I sit down at the nurses table in the mess hall. I got there just in time to grab the last bits of lunch options before my shift starts.

"We are playing 'truth or dare' and Emily just had to answer who she'd rather kiss: Tab or Luz." Betty told me between giggles.

"Well? Who'd you pick?" I shoot Emily a smirk, already knowing her answer as we've been the only ones in our group that came from Toccoa and therefore the closest.

"Tab." Her face gets redder, as if that was possible, then she gets a mischievous look in her eye. "Your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." I know she knows too much dirt on me to let her ask a question. But judging by the smile spreading on her face, I'm not sure I chose correctly.

"Go get that cigarette Toye is smoking." Her smile widens as the girls within earshot say 'oh' and some whistle.

Joe Toye is not someone that most of the nurses like dealing with. Not that he's rude or inappropriate, he just intimidates them. Not as bad as Spiers, but they put him right up there. From an outsiders point of view I can understand, he's not overly friendly like most of the guys in Easy you have to work a little to weasel past the hard exterior.

For myself, all I had to do was shoot Tab down for the billionth time back in Georgia as I was wrapping up his ankle that he twisted on yet another Currahee run. Don't get me wrong, I like Tab but not in that way and the quicker I could make him understand that the sooner we could just enjoy being friends.

Right when I was finishing up with his wrap, he started to say another pick-up line and being at my wits end I snapped a little. Grabbing his ankle I put enough pressure on it that made him stop talking and sit up straighter.

"Tab, if you come onto me one more time I will break your ankle. Do you understand me?" I kept my voice low and hard, maintaining direct eye contact so he knew I wasn't playing. With a small gulp, he nodded his head and I put on my most charming smile. "Wonderful, now take it easy with that ankle. If Sobel gives you a hard time about it, let me know and I'll put in a word with my supervisor to find a reason to annoy him."

With a final nod, I got him off the bed and started to help him to the door when a hand pushed me to the side and took my spot next to Tab. My protest died on my lips as I came face to face with Toye.

"I can take him from here, ma'am, thanks." He threw Tab's arm over his shoulder and started moving to the door. Two steps later he looked over his shoulder back at me with a small smirk on his face and said, "Remind me to not piss you off when you're fixing me up." Without waiting for a reply, he turned back around and kept himself and Tab moving.

From that day forward a friendship of sorts grew and since landing in Europe and dealing with the horrors of the war in our faces everyday, we'd grown even closer. The past few weeks things are taken a turn to being more flirty with beginning stages of intimacy. Jokes whispered in each others ears just so we can be closer than normal, fingers touching when handing each other items, lingering hugs, forehead and cheek kisses. It was all adding up and creating a tension neither of us seemed ready yet to break but didn't want to dispel either.

Emily's foot nudging mine under the table breaks me from my memories and makes me send her a glare. She's fully aware of the gray area Toye and I are in at the moment and seems to be all too happy to add fuel to that fire. I give a loud sigh and look around till I find him sitting a few rows to our left, sitting with Guarnere and Buck. Inwardly I groan, those two are never going to let me live this down.

With a final glare in her direction, I stand up and make my way over towards the guys. I can feel all of the girls eyes on my back which does nothing in helping me stay calm.

All three of them see me at the same time and smile in greeting.

"Hey doll, how's it going?" Buck asks as I sit across from him, next to Toye.

"About to go on shift, thought I'd say a quick hi and get a smoke." I shrug, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Here ya go." Bill tosses his pack my way from next to Buck.

"Thanks, but uh, I think I'll take this one." Before I can over think it, I pluck the cigarette resting between Toye's lips and take a long drag. I blow the smoke right in his face, hoping it'll hide how red my face is and stand up quickly. "Always a pleasure."

I practically jog to the nurses table, ignoring the laughs and 'good jobs' as I grab Emily by the arm and force her to leave the mess hall with me. I don't let go of her until we are nearly at the medic station. With a final puff I toss my stolen cigarette into the road and turn to face my friend that hasn't stopped beaming at me since I grabbed her.

"What?!" I sound almost frantic.

"Oh calm down, it's not the end of the world. It was just a cigarette."

"How do I even begin to explain what that was?" I put my hands on my hips.

Emily shrugs and flicks some invisible dust off her shoulder, "Just tell him that it was dare. But honestly, I don't think he really cares why you did it. The way he was looking at you as we left was more than mild interest. You're welcome." She pats my cheek and goes into the medic station, leaving me with no choice but to groan and follow her.

It doesn't take long for me to push the earlier experience from my mind and become overwhelmed with current and new patients in need of varying medical attention. Most are stable and just need an easy wrapping or cleaning up. There's a few that have been with us for a little while that still need monitoring but they're in relatively good spirits so it helps make the shift not too depression.

It's fully dark outside when I finally am able to step away and take a breather. With a signal to Emily letting her know I'll be around back, I slip out quietly and lean against the backwall of the building. I can't be alone more than a few minutes when I hear footsteps heading my way. I just want to be alone. But my annoyance goes away when I see who it is.

Neither of us speaks as he stops right in front of me and tucks a lose piece of hair behind my ear.

"You okay?" His words are soft and light, barely above a whisper as if he's afraid anything louder would break the small bit of peace we've managed to get in this hidden area. All I do is nod, not wanting to elaborate on the different faces and wounds I've been dealing with the past hours. His response is to pull me in his arms and spin us around so that his back is against the wall and I'm leaning against him.

We stay like that for a bit, listening to the noises on the street and each other breathing. It's nearly enough to make me fall asleep when I feel his chest rumble and the question I've been dreading is asked.

"So what was that at lunch?" I groan into his chest before pushing back far enough to look at his face. Fuck Joe Toye for being beautiful and sexy at the same time when he allows himself to give a full smile, not just a smirk.

"The girls were playing truth or dare and that was my dare. Sorry." I shoot him a small smile and pray he just drops it. He gives a small hum as he takes in my words.

"Well then, truth or dare?" He leans more against the wall, waiting for my answer. I gape at him.

"You can't be serious." The intimidating Joe Toye is trying to play 'truth or dare' with me? What the fuck.

"I'm always seriously," Joe winks, "so, truth or dare?" The glint in his eyes tells me there is no safe choice.

"Dare." I'd rather do something stupid than be asked something I'd rather not answer right now.

The silence stretches between us almost to an unbearable point, making me start to fidget in his arms.

"Close your eyes." His words make me freeze and my face scrunches up in confusion.

"That's my dare?" I'm trying to figure out what the catch is, but I can't find one.

"Close. Your. Eyes." His voice leaves no room for argument and since it's not anything crazy all I can do is comply.

With my eyes closed I try to use my others senses to figure out what his next step is. At first all he does is stand up straighter, move one hand up my back and gently cups my cheek. Joe pulls me a little closer to him and then I can feel his breathe on my lips.

"I'm going to do something now and I only want you to respond if it's something you really want. If you don't, just push me away." I barely finish processing his words when his lips brush against mine softly, teasingly.

When I don't make a move to push him away, he gently pecks my lips still in a teasing manner. The next time his lips touch mine I grab onto his jacket to hold him there and kiss him back. At the feel of his tongue tracing my lips I open my mouth and let him have complete control.

We lose track of time staying wrapped up in each others arms, making out like teenagers. We break apart at the same time when we finally need air. I'm not sure what comes over me but I kiss along his cheek, making my way to his neck and begin nipping at his exposed flesh. The hand that had been on my check moves to my the back of my head, fisting my hair but not moving me away. His breathing is becoming more ragged and when a groan escapes his lips from a particular bite I leave I feel like I've died and gone to heaven. As my tongue works to sooth the sting, the hand that was on my back drops down and grabs my ass, pushing my hips against his, letting me feel his erection.

"Joe." His name comes out as a whimper mixed with a moan and that makes him grind against me again.

Just as we are about to kiss again, someone clears their throat and we freeze.

"Very sorry to interrupt, and believe me I am sorry, but I need help checking wounds and restocking the stations." Emily's voice is both amused and apologetic.

"Yeah, I'll be right there, Em." My voice comes out much too ragged but it's not like she doesn't know the reason at this point. I wait till her footsteps grow faint, before beginning to pull away from Joe. He's slow to let me go and only manages to move his hands back to my waist.

"I should be off in a few more hours...can I come find you after?"

"No need, I'll be waiting outside for you. I believe we have some things to finish." He pulls me flush against him, making his point perfectly clear. Before I can think of a cheeky response, he gives me a final, firm kiss and spins me around towards to way back inside the building.

I walk a few steps, then turn around and shoot him an innocent smile, "No touching before you find me, Toye. I have a few ideas on how to spice up 'truth or dare'." I laugh lightly to myself when all I can hear as I round the corner to the building entrance is Joe cursing.

[sleepinglionhearts]

Oh, it’s gonna be the way you always thought it would be

but it’s gonna be no illusion

Oh, it’s gonna be the way you always dreamt about it

but it’s gonna be really happenin’ to ya

[idk-bruh-20]

[mokeonn]

One of my favorite things about being in my early 20s is that I'm starting to understand that I can use things not for their intended purpose. When you're growing up, you get told what an object is and what its intended purpose is, and as a kid/teen, I just accepted all of it at face value. As a young adult it's finally clicking that I can simply do things a different way if it makes me happier. Sure, I was taught that you stand to take a shower, but there's nothing stopping me from just sitting if I don't feel like it, ya know? I might have always had my medication in the kitchen, but if I'm no longer remembering to take it, I can just move it somewhere where I can remember. You don't have to specifically store all food in the kitchen, you can have a little snack cart or snack station in another room.

The downside to finding out the various ways you can use objects is that you develop habits that would probably go on an r/relationships post where everyone says you're a little freak.

[birdmenmanga]

@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

[septembersghost]

what addictive stardust does baz put in his movies

[keeps-ache]

don't know why but when i get bumped or hit softly and say 'ow' despite it not hurting i've started adding 'my feelings' shortly after lol

[insertcoolnameherethanks]

I havent really been on interacting much i know I've been tagged in things or sent things. Sorry I haven't really responded, I've been mentally not good