#I've decided because I'm so stressed and because I have to pull an all-nighter

[ghostlyheart]

About to write the stupidest fucking paper of my life let's go baby

[gaminggirlgeek]

Want and Desire is One and the Same: Part 1

Being a secretary to Dr. Sabine Callas wasn't that bad given the pay and the (albeit, distracting) company, but pulling an all-nighter with the American Chemist had led her to stare and think about you differently in every way possible.

Slow Burn fic that I made at 3am because I think I've read every Viper x reader here on tumblr 😭

"Pulling an all-nighter today, Doc?" You smile as you look up from your desk to see Sabine going through a pile of documents with furrowed brows. She simple gave you an irritated "Mhm" before pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Want some coffee?"

"No." Sighing, you stand and walk towards the kitchen area and reach for the cupboard to get some coffee beans and two mugs for the both of you. Tonight was just one of those nights where Sabine was increasingly irritated and she'd end up killing herself without at least a sip of caffeine.

However, little did you know that the papers were not the only things plaguing her mind at the moment. From her desk, Sabine took in the shape of your body as your pencil skirt hugged your waist and how your white satin blouse shone in the dim light of the room. You looked like fruit just ripe for the taking.

Professionalism looks incredibly nice on Sabine, but she couldn't help but thirst for you. She loathed mornings but ended up loving them because you'd be the first thing she sees. She'd notice how you tie your hair up when you're stressed; the lip products you reapply in the afternoon that would make your lips look oh, so, kissable and even your perfume that made you smell so delectable. She'd even notice how the other agents looked at you. You were a pretty little thing, a breath of fresh air from the hustle and bustle of the Valorant Protocol and the peculiarities inside it. It was natural for the other agents to be drawn to you. She did not just thirst for you, she desired you with all her heart. The only thing stopping her was the thought of you saying 'no'.

"Want some milk with your coffee?" You said with a cheerful tone in your voice. Sabine snapped out of her daze and went back to reading the reports in her hands.

"Black coffee, please." You smiled and proceeded to brew her cup.

Sabine was this (🤏) close to grabbing you and holding you against the kitchen counter. Moments like these where the two of you are alone were ones she dreaded the most because of how vulnerable you were.

'This is not the time.' Viper reminded herself mentally. After preparing your beverage you placed your cup on your desk first before heading towards Sabine, cup and saucer in hand. Sabine watched as you placed her cup on her desk. You leaned towards her and she could almost smell your perfume and she eventually turned away with the papers in her hand with a sigh.

That worried you as she was particularly more irritable than normal. You decided to engage in some small talk.

"Hey, Doc? Placing all your attention on those reports isn't gonna make you any more annoyed than you already are, you know." Viper turned towards you and narrowed her eyes.

"You talking to me while I'm doing so isn't helping." You smiled and giggled silently. These conversations made your work more enjoyable.

"Please, just a sip of your coffee. It'll help." Viper simply clicked her tongue.

With a sigh, you return to typing into your laptop.

"You have got to take it easy because doing this at midnight with no sleep during the day is going to kill you. Like, get a distraction or something." Viper looked up from her papers and her eyes widened a bit. She then placed the papers on the table and leaned back on her chair, resting her head on her hand and staring at you. You noticed and looked up too, heart beating fast as you observed her gaze to be more, intense, than usual.

"And what might you suggest be my distraction for moments like these?" You gulped, and cleared your throat. Joking wouldn't be so bad at this time, right?

"How about me? Talk to me or something!" Viper smiled and stood up from her chair. She was towards you and stopped behind you; placing her hands on your shoulders.

"I know something more interesting and fun than just talking," She then leans towards your ear, and you could feel her breath against your ear. "..but I bet you wouldn't be able to handle it, anyway." Your eyes widen.

"L-like what?"

"Take a guess." Vipers' grip on your shoulders tighten slightly before slowly sliding her hands down your arms. You tremble from the contact before inhaling sharply.

"...I'm talking about reading the reports with me, of course." She turns your wheelchair for you to face her, and she greets you with the hottest grin you've ever seen.

"Unless you thought about something else." Viper says with a low tone.

"You sound like you're insinuating something, Dr. Callas." You fold your arms and look at her with a determined look.

"Am I? You made the suggestion." Viper walked away and sat back down on her chair, eyeing the documents before scanning them once again.

Before you knew it, your cheeks turned red and you shifted in your seat.

'That was...something.' You smiled and returned to typing into your laptop.

[theradicalscrivener]

Good gnus bad gnus time.

I pulled an all nighter earlier this week and knocked out the finale for CDE. All totalled it's like 13 or 14 chapters plus an epilogue. It was def a labor of love and I'm glad to be done with it. Now I can go back to writing other topics that people enjoy.

Life update: everything's fucked.

The parentals have been dragging me out of bed early all week with random demands. Drive my mom to the doctor. Deal with a repair guy they hired but weren't able to be there for the visit. Sometimes they just call me at ass early o clock to tell me to wake up because no one should sleep so late even tho I sleep so late because nighttime is the only time I feel safe to be active. It's when I do all my writing and gaming because a) work actually leaves me alone and b) I don't (normally) have family barging into my room without knocking at 3 am.

I'm currently kinda stressed about funds ATM. I blew all my savings and my last months paycheck repairing my car. Over the past few months I've been sinking more and more money into it to get it running. What started as a small warning light Digivolves into needing massive electrical work.as well as getting the entire ABS system replaced. All totaled I spent over 10k on it. I did some shopping for a new(?) Car but with interests rates as they are most dealers were offering 15% apr which is insane. So I decided to get my car running and see if I can keep it alive long enough for the market to turn around.

The good gnus is that I got it running and it seems to be working fine. Just in time for me to have to go on a road trip for work which will require me having to pay for mileage and room and board out of pocket with the hopes of maybe getting refunded some of it.

On top of that I've been paying for more and more stuff for work out of pocket with the promise that I will be reimbursed, but there's no telling when or if that will happen. So there's a few k there. Also my work hasn't paid me for May yet because the big boss is upset about the way the sites are being run and has not approved payroll until he finishes his inspection which will take a few weeks.

On top of this, I had a $3k tax bill due which I paid back in April. In may the gummint sent me almost all of it back as a tax refund. I used this money to pay for the aforementioned car. Earlier this month they sent me a notice saying that the refund was an error and now I owe all the money they refunded plus late fees and interest for not paying my taxes on time.

This is all on the tail end of surviving the semester from hell. I can't remember if I mentioned this here but I was in a class that the one entire course was structured around "group work". Well I got stuck with a group that didn't do anything and so I had to do it all by myself. I did the work of five people while holding down a full time job+.

Anyways on the writing front. I have a few chapters of CDE to post and a new Lumen chapter. But I realize those stories arent the kinda thing my core audience cares about. I've been struggling to find the time and energy to actually post anything because even after I finish writing and edits it's still at least an hour of work to format stuff for html and then share them online.

[causticsbunny]

Rough Times | Octavio "Octane" Silva

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content warnings: stressed Reader (school/university)

pairing: Octane x male!Reader

word count: ~1k words

note: Apologies if any of the spanish petnames I used are wrong, I can't speak spanish sorry lmao

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If someone would have told Octane that at one point in his life he'd try his best to actually understand someone's feelings in order to cheer them up instead of pulling some stupid crap that would make him happy if someone did it for him, he'd have laughed and called them an idiot for thinking something like that.

After all he was Octavio Silva, the daredevil and stim-addict of the Apex games that never could sit still, the one that would always crack jokes even if he knew it wasn't the right time for it...surely someone would find it as funny as he did.

Well, that someone was you.

To be honest, in some ways you were the exact opposite of him - a stressed out student that felt like his life was about to end because of bad grades hailing in, topics you just couldn't get into your head and way too many tests squished into a few weeks. Hell, you weren't even sure if you'd survive this period of time.

Now was the moment when he actually tried to be empathetic, to understand your feelings just to find a way to cheer you up a little, get you to be a little more lively again, to play video games with him and yell at him whenever he demolished you on purpose in Mario Kart, god how he loved pulling those dick moves. But all of this was gone now - ever since you've started performing worse the time you spent with him had been reduced drastically and Octane, being just the guy he is, didn't know what to do against that.

Whenever he cracked a joke you'd show a weak, tired smile, telling him that now wasn't the time for this and that you were busy, apologizing and promising to spend time with him later, though usually this 'later moment' never came since you were exhausted after studying, pulling all nighters and mostly living of Energy Drinks, Coffee and take-out food.

Hell even Octane knew that this wasn't a healthy lifestyle and yet there wasn't much he could do. He knew that there was something he could do but figuring out what - well, that was the hard part of it. Of course, he could just go and maybe ask Ajay or Eliott for tips but he felt too prideful to ask them. Octane wanted to take care of this without the help of others, he kind of wanted to prove to himself that he could help you when you needed it.

And yet, as of right now he was failing miserably at it.

He didn't quite get why this was so hard. Why couldn't you just put those stupid books down and spent time with him? Surely that would cheer you up again!

"Octavio what the fuck!" You yelped as your books were swiped off the table before your chair was pulled back and you were thrown over his shoulder. He surely didn't look like it but damn, that guy was able to carry you around with so much ease, even while you were struggling, hoping he'd drop you by accident. "Fucking let me down, I'm busy."

"Nah, I've decided you've been busy for way too long, cariño" Octane replied, chuckling, throwing you down on his bed and putting down the take-out food he had gotten for you and himself.

"Tavi please, this test is important and I don't understand shit" You whined, trying to get him to let you go back to studying again.

"Mira, I know you're smart but if you don't understand shit now you won't understand shit later so might as well make good use of that time and spend it with me yeah?" God why was this kinda smooth. There was nothing you could say against that and you hated it. He always won discussions like that with just saying the one smart thing he could've saved for another time when it was a lot more necessary. "C'mon, mi cielito, I got your favorite food, just fuck school, watch a movie with me, eat with me, just like in old tomes yeah? I know you need that"

And now you felt like crying. His assumptions were head on just the truth. "Nonono, don't cry now, mi vida please, there's no need for that, c'mon smile, yeah? Yeah that's better~" He chuckled, wiping away some tears as you just smiled at him.

"You're an idiot, Tavi...thanks" You mumbled, pulling him down to press a kiss on his nose.

"Mira, don't you think I deserve more?" He joked which resulted in you gently punching his arm.

"Greedy bastard" You replied, slightly grinning before finally kissing him for real.

Slowly you pulled away, almost not wanting to but knowing you had to. It always surprised you how calm Octane could be if he really wanted it - some would never believe you if you told them. Octane and sitting still for longer than just one second just did not fit together well and you could understand why no one would believe you if you told them anything about these few moments now.

"Let's eat, yeah? Cold food isn't that tasty anymore" You mumbled, receiving a short peck onto your lips from him before he sat down next to him.

God only now you realized how much you did need this in reality - how much you've missed snuggling into his arms and falling asleep like that...hell even getting a decent amount of sleep was something you've been lacking for months now and even if it was just one day in that stressful exam season - you were so grateful for it. Just getting a normal amount of sleep again while being close to him was so much needed.

You just wished every day could be like this.

But maybe it could - Tavi had a point. You really were stressing yourself too much - and if there was something you just couldn't understand there was no need to force yourself to get it into your head. There was plenty of other stuff you understood and that would be more than just enough to save your grades.

All you needed to do was to let it happen - who cared if your parents were disappointed in you because of some dumb grades - if it would go bad you'd just beat yourself up over it again because of how much you studied for those tests you yeah...maybe you really could allow everything to go slightly back to normal again.

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[peanutpinet]

Yuta as a cold yet soft mafia boss

Prompt: 99) “You think prison is the worst place you could go? You pull some shit like that again and I’ll have you thrown in places that’ll make prison seem like a wet fucking dream.” from 100 Dialogue Prompts for Mob Boss AU

A/N: just like the Jeno fic, I've always wanted to do a Yuta fanfic and it wasn't until I saw this writing prompt that I'm like, this feels like something Yuta would say.

Warnings: probably some cursing since it's Yuta XD

Now, we all know how cold and scary Yuta looks when in fact he's a big softie. Which is probably one of the reasons why you fall for him; because of how soft whipped he is with you and the rest of NCT.

Like the boy is very much whipped for you that he would even have time to ask you 'have you eaten', 'what are you up to' while being on a mission. The boys also like to tease him about it, even WayV (who we all know are slightly terrified of him)

Would definitely take you out on a date every now and then if he can. A/N: Kay, hold up, we're getting a bit ahead. I forgot to tell you how y'all met XD

So, it was a school night (well, you're in college); and you were quite stress with your final assignment that you decided to go to the nearest convenience store to grab some coffee and snacks to pull an all-nighter.

You wore an oversize hoodie and some sweats (cause comfort is key) and was walking through the snack aisle, about to grab (your favourite snack) when another hand was about to reach for it (ehem, Yuta, ehem)

Despite wanting to grab the snack, you insist the tall, handsome man to have it instead (even if you were wondering how a guy like him like your fave snack). But the man insist you take the snack; which led to the both of you having a little debate and eventually the man took the snack, paid for it but gave it to you, saying that you needed it more

"Take it. Finals are tough and you need the little boost to keep you going. Also, don't worry so much about the result. What matters is you did your best, mkay? See you around kid" the man lectured, giving you a slight smile before leaving with his own coffee

After he left, it took you a while to process what just happened before going back to your dorm and continue your final assignment

But oh how the universe like to bring people together ;)

It was right after your finals and you and your friends decided to have some drink at a nearby bar since you guys were curious and have never experienced the bar aura.

You weren't much of a drinker despite your amazing tolerance in alcohol so you were rather confused what to order until a familiar sound came.

"She'll have the orange-mango crush" a familiar voice stated

Turning around, you saw the same man you bumped into at the convenience store almost 2 weeks ago but this time, he looked way more put together and even wore a suit. Lowkey, your mind was starting to wander around and thinking whether there was going to be a fight or some sort or if this was that typical mafia story you secretly read.

"Didn't think you'd be the type to come to a bar on a school night. You done with your finals kid?" the man asked

"I, uhh, yea. Wait!! What do you mean the type to come to a bar?" you stuttered; not aware that your friends were staring at the both of you

"Don't worry, I don't mean it like it's a bad thing. People do what they want. Who am I to judge. Anyways, you ladies enjoy your night. If there's any problem, don't hesitate to let me, the bartender or the guards know. Also, the drink is on the house" the man winked at you and your friends, giving a slight wave before leaving

Cue your friends immediately plastering you with all sorts of question. Wondering how you met a handsome hunk in the midst of your finals. Not to mention, that handsome hunk even remembers you. Cue you becoming a blushing mess; especially after the bartender came with the drink the man requested for you.

Though you were worried that the drink was spiked, you gave a little sip and it was all fruity and delicious. Mental note to yourself: not only is he good-looking, kind but also has good taste in food; great, just great.

The rest of the night went fairly nice. You and your friends were sipping on your drinks, having a nice chit-chat bout life in general, catching up since you guys were not in the same classes. Once the clock hit 1 am, you figured that it was time to head back to your dorm.

Since you decided to wait for your friends who were calling an uber to head back to their homes since they live near your college. Whilst waiting, you told your friends that you were going to go to the bathroom for a bit.

Right when you came out of the bathroom, a random man tried to hit on you and it made you very uncomfortable that you eventually hit the wall behind you. But luckily, a certain someone came and save the day ;)

"Oi. Hands off the girl. Looks like someone is new to my bar since I don't accept any sort of make-out if there's no consent between two parties. Scram before I make you" your saviour growled, making the man leave you alone

"Are you alright?" the man asked while you were catching your breath

"Yeah. Yea, I am. Thank you again. Uh..." you mumbled

"What is it? Are you sure you're alright?" the man questioned, worried in his tone

"It's just, you've basically helped me twice and I still have yet to know your name" you chuckled, making the man chuckle as well

"If that's really what you want. I'm Yuta" the man called Yuta chuckled

"Thank you, Yuta. I appreciate it" you thanked him, giving him a genuine smile; not knowing what that smile does to Yuta's heart

And folks, that was just the beginning of your relationship. Ever since that night, Yuta made it his goal to get to know you more before actually asking you in a relationship; which, when the time came and Yuta asked you, without thinking twice, you said yes.

Throughout your relationship, Yuta was pretty blunt in telling you what he does as a living and mentioned that while he may live a dangerous life, he still had morals and his job was actually putting down all the bad people hiding in the shadows.

Despite all, you trusted Yuta and he also trusted you. You still had your freedom and was allowed to go wherever with whoever you wanted as long as you told Yuta beforehand. Even throughout your near one year anniversary, both of you knew each other's friend group and you even get to see how soft Yuta was when it comes to his mates.

However, all those sweet moments you both felt like a dream the second Yuta heard news that you were captured by some lowlife gang that NCT made go broke. Hearing the news, it was only a matter of minutes before the whole NCT used their network to find you and create a well thought out plan to get you back.

Once Yuta got you back, he made sure you were alright whilst the other members lock the gang up in their basement. Yuta made sure that you had no injuries; which, if you do, he would tend them himself and if he can't then he'll have someone come but stay by you until you were alright or, until you fell asleep.

After tucking you into bed and making sure you were fast asleep. Yuta peck your forehead for a moment before quietly sneaking off the bed and out of his room, going down to the basement and confronting the gang with some of the other members.

“You think prison is the worst place you could go? You pull some shit like that again and I’ll have you thrown in places that’ll make prison seem like a wet fucking dream. Now, which one of you nutjobs came up with the idea in the first place?!" Yuta growled, smirking once he saw the gang cower in fear

A/N: hope you guys enjoy this Yuta fic that came out of nowhere XD and hope you all stay safe and healthy :) xoxo

[mywonuderful]

Cafuné

anon request: Hi! Can I request for a scenario where hyunjae texted his s/o whining about how he's frustrated from practice because he's not satisfied so you decided to visit him to cheer him up? Thank you! pairing: idol!hyunjae x non idol!reader genre: fluff warnings: n/a a/n: this was inspired by the latest Kingdom: Legendary War episode and for those who haven't watched it yet, I won't mention any spoilers but just be sure to show your support to The Boyz as the final round is coming up!

main masterlist

oh please him and this pouty lips stoppp

"Why can't I get this move down?!" Hyunjae lets out a frustrated sigh, going back to the starting position before one of his members pressed play as he danced to the music. "What's wrong? You were dancing really well!" Changmin patted his back from behind but he didn't seem to take in his compliment as he clicked his tongue, turning to face the main dancer. "Could you go through this section again? I'm always a split second off from you guys." Changmin nodded as a few others joined where he went over the moves, giving them a thumbs up but Hyunjae still felt like something was off about his performance. As the rest of the members lingered around in the practice room, fooling around or cooling off, Hyunjae was dancing with his brows furrowed, sweat dripping down is forehead as he danced in repetition to only grumble every time.

"Hyung, forcing yourself to dance isn't going to do you any good. How about we just call it a day and head back home?" Eric suggested as the boys joined in agreement. "You guys can head out first. I'm going to practice a bit more before heading back." The boys left one by one before he was left alone in the dance room. He walked over to his bag to pick up his phone, checking to see how you were doing.

He lets out disappointed sigh, missing your presence but it couldn't be helped since neither of your schedules match up recently as the only communication between the two of you would either be messaging or video calls. Especially when his team being on Kingdom: Legendary War made it even harder for the two of you to even just have a phone call. Frowning, he sets his phone down and went back to dancing. No matter how many times he went over the moves, he was just never happy with the performance he gave out, getting more frustrated at himself.

-

Your boss actually let everyone off work early today after a week of an hectic yet successful promotional event. You were overjoyed by the fact that you could finally leave work early on such a beautiful day as you bid all your co-workers goodbye before heading to the elevators when you bumped into one of your friends. "Signing off early today?" She asked as you turned on your phone, seeing the text from your boyfriend. "Yeah, she wanted us to enjoy the start of the summer weather. Plus, after such a busy week with pulling all-nighters and promotions, I think it's very much needed for us to have some recovery time." The two of you laughed "Right, congratulations of the successful event! Employees from my department and I heard how you guys were working nonstop for it. I can say that the results were definitely worth it." You thank her as the elevator doors opened, as it was almost filled. You gestured her to take the empty spot for you pressed the button again, waiting for the next available lift. Your lips dropped as you read his messages, feeling helpless in your shoes since you couldn't do anything when an idea popped up in your head.

You sheepishly smiles as you entered the elevator, walking out your company building before heading over to a couple of restaurants, walking out for bags full of takeout.

-

After a long, repetitive and disappointing practice, Hyunjae headed back to the dorms, feeling restless and miserable about his lack progress as the performance day approaching closer and closer. He entered as his members asked for his suggestion on what he wanted to eat for dinner. "What do you want to eat tonight? We're going to order takeout." Younghoon waved his phone and asked his fellow member. The members were gathered in the living room, observing his actions before looking at each other, sensing that he wasn't at a happy mood. "Hyunjae, do you want us to order from your favorite chicken place?" Jacob kindly asked but he didn't bother answering as he went straight to his room, slamming the door behind before throwing his bag to go shower.

"He doesn't look like he's in a good mood." You spoke through the phone call after hearing a faint thud from his door. You originally called Younghoon to tell him your plan when he accidently placed you on speaker as all the members heard. The members were delighted by what you had in mind and decided on surprising Hyunjae as Younghoon would pretend to call a restaurant to see if he wanted anything in particular but actually had you on speaker as you remained silent when the plan didn't exactly go to plan. "Yeah he has been quite stressed over the choreography and upcoming performance. I can't blame him though, it is one of the hardest ones yet so he probably wants to do his best." Changmin added as your heart ached from not being able to be by his side. You told the boys that you're on the way to the dorm and keep it a secret from you boyfriend. Stopping by a few more stores, the bags around your hands starts to get heavy as your knuckles becomes white from holding so many boxes. You called a member down as you walked into their apartment, being greeted by their smile that you haven't seen in a while.

"It's been like years since I last saw you!" Eric runs to you as you struggled to walk straight from the amount of bags. "It truly feels like years." You laughed at his comment as helped you carry some of the bags. He peeked through, a huge smile forming on his face when he saw all the food that you bought. "It's a good thing you stopped by today. Hyunjae hyung has been having a rough time with practice." Eric spoke as the two of you stepped into the elevator. "I don't think I've ever seen him this frustrated before. He was practicing alone the other day and I heard him yell at himself when I was passing by..." Your heart dropped from hearing Eric's words. You bitterly smiled at him as he reassured that your boyfriend is trying his best to take care of his health and all but your heart couldn't settle. You arrived at the door when Eric told you to remain outside as he would get Hyunjae to open the door. You stood outside, nervous yet anxious from seeing your boyfriend for the first time in a while. You thought about what you would say when you saw him and how he would react.

"Takeout is delivered!" Eric yelled as he entered, rapid footsteps were heard as the members ran towards him whispering "Where's Y/N?" as he whispered back his plan. "HYUNJAE COME OUT AND EAT." Younghoon yelled from the living room as you giggled, hearing his voice from outside. "I'm not hungry." You pressed your ear to the door as you hear your lover's mumbled voice "We ordered chicken and it should be here any moment now!" Eric yelled as that was your cue to ring the doorbell, feeling your whole body shake from nervousness. "Hyunjae! Opened the door, your fried chicken is here." Sangyeon called as there was a short period of silence before you hear his door click opened. "Can't you guys open it? Why do I have to open it?" He snapped as the boys looked at him with a shocked expression before Sangyeon cleared his throat, trying to go with the plan. "U-Um, our fingers are all dirty? Just opened the door, we ordered from your favorite restaurant." His eyes lit up for a second before he groaned stomping his way to the doorway as your heart started racing, seconds away from seeing your boyfriend.

You eyes widen as the door slowly opened but stopped right enough for him to stick only his hand. He opened his hand, waiting for you to hand him the chicken when you reaching your hands into his, intertwining fingers before he retrieved his hand swinging the door opened. "What the f-" "Special delivery for the one and only Lee Jaehyun." You smiled, raising the bags in front of your face to hide your flushed cheeks. He took the bags from your hands before placing them down, pulling you into his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around you, almost taking your breathe away. "Oh my gosh, I missed you so much." He whispered as you blinked back the tears that were blurring your vision. You looked into the dorm, seeing the faces of the members as some where happily munching and others had their phones out, capturing the sweet moment.

-

"I thought you said you weren't hungry." you mocked Hyunjae's voice from earlier as he picked up another chicken leg, shyly smiling as he bit into it. You sat with the boys as they all thank you for the food that you bought. "You guys must've been too busy to even eat your meals so I decided to stop by with some food for you guys." smiling, you looked around as all the boys where eating their hearts away. You felt a little sad that they were so busy with the upcoming competition but you knew that it's what they loved to do. You glanced over at your boyfriend, as he rested his head on your shoulder, letting out a content sigh. "Wow, I think this is the happiest I've felt in a while. I have you guys, chicken and Y/N all in one room.... This must be pure happiness." he spoke out loud before everyone broke into laughter. After everyone was finished eating, they all went on to do their own activities as you and Hyunjae headed into his room. Once he opened the door, the scent of his cologne travelled to your nose as you let out a delighted sigh

"Wow, it's been a minute since I've been here." You looked around his room. Even though nothing has changed since your last visit, you felt yourself reminiscing that moment. You looked over at your boyfriend who as lying on his bed as he patted the spot next to him, telling you to join him. "It's been a minute since I saw my gorgeous girlfriend." He stated as your sat beside him, legs crossed as he plotted himself up with the support of his elbows. You surveyed your boyfriend as you noticed his eyebags were getting dark, his appearance looking tired, overworked and stressed as you felt your eyes watering. "Why are you crying my love?" His eyes widen as tears fell from you eyes. He sat up, hands on either side of your face as he brushed the tears with his thumbs, giving you a worried look. You shook your head before pulling him into a hug, him stroking your back. "I'm such a horrible girlfriend." You felt his movements come to a halt at your words as he broke the hug, you avoiding his eyes. "Why would you ever tell yourself that?" His voice full of love and concern only made you want to breakdown in front of him even more but you held back, wiping away the tears. "I couldn't by your side when times where difficult for you. I couldn't comfort you when you needed someone the most." You explained as he slightly frowned, hurt by your words.

"That's not true at all." He brushed the hairs at of your face as you looked up at him, eyes red and puffy. "You're the energy when I'm low and my light in my darkness. You may not know it but just the thought of you gave me the motivation, the encouragement and inspiration to strive and work harder" He smiled as you couldn't help but to do the same. "I know with both of our schedules it's hard to make time for each other but that doesn't stop me from thinking about you, missing you yet supporting you from afar because I know you do the same." He went on as you suddenly laughed, catching him off guard. "I came here today to comfort you... Why does it feel like the opposite." He laughed before he laid down on your crossed legs, hands playing with yours. "Didn't you tell me your boss wouldn't let you guys off work?" He asked as you caressed his face. "She let us off early today as a little celebration for the successful promotion and to enjoy the start of the summer weather." He narrowed his eyes at you, realizing that you were lying at him through text. "Congratulations on the event, it must've been stressful for you and your team to handle everything. I'm so proud of you." You cheeks tinted at his sudden praise as he hand touched your face, feeling the warmth of your blush. "I decided to surprise you since you were having a hard time." He hummed, closing his eyes.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't having a hard time. All the members are doing so well during practice but I can't seem to follow up to them. It's like something was off or missing of me whenever I practice with them. I just want to do the best in my part so it'll be perfect for the team, you know?" He let out his thoughts as you nodded attentively. "Were you able to find what was missing?" You asked as he opened his eyes meeting yours as the direct contact made your heart skip a beat. "Hmm... I'm not sure but I guess it has been getting better compared to a few days ago. But today, it was just so frustrating. I was screaming and yelling at myself because I couldn't find out what was wrong." He pouted as you let out an "aw," sympathizing with him. "I'm so sorry, babe. If there's ever anything I can do for you, you know I'll always be there for you no matter what time of day it is right?" You ruffled his hair as he grinned, his eyes hinting that he had something up his sleeves. "I think I'm losing hair." He suddenly confessed as your jaw dropped, hands going through his hair as he laid on your legs, examining. "I think I pulled out a lot of hair from today's irritating practice." He whined as he rubbed his head, you cooing as you ran your fingers through his hair. "Could you massage my head for me?" he shyly asked, you giggling at his request "Anything for my mirae"

He let out a hum as you continued, seeing how relaxed he was. The faint music playing from his laptop along with his steady breath made you feel at home with your boyfriend who you could finally embrace. You fingers ran through the hair of his, as a smile would form on his face time to time, making your lips curve up into a grin.

"I think I finally found what I was missing." He broke the silence, eyes glancing up to yours as you stared into his big, bright orbits. "That's great. What was it?" You hummed in response, fingers still slowly working through his hair. "You."

cafuné (n): running your fingers through the hair of someone you love

[imaginebeatles]

Hey, so I've got my final exams coming up at the end of May. and the're extremely important for me. and i'm kind of freaking out and i'm pretty sure i don't have enough time to study all of the material. WHAT SHOULD I DO!

Oh god, I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there so many times... There are a few tips I will give you, first for studying and second for how to maintain your mental health because that’s even more important than passing your classes. 

For studying, first make a list of your priorities. Decide what subjects are the most important ones. Which ones do you absolutely need to pass/have a good grade for? Which subjects are you struggling with the most and will you need to spend a lot of time on? This way, you can see what you need to focus on and which subjects you can study a little less for. Organise your time with that in mind! 

Also, if you’re stressed it might help you if you think about what will happen if you don’t pass your classes or your grades aren’t as high as you want them to be. Failing is never as bad as you think it is in that moment, and realising that might help you stop freaking out. 

Second: Plan! Create a weekly/daily schedule where you decide what you will study when and for how long. Give yourself plenty of breaks and allow yourself time to go outside, to eat well and sleep well. This is important. Studying is tiring and studying harder will not help if your mind is exhausted. Also, this will give you some peace of mind while you study, because you don’t have to worry about your other subjects when you’re focusing on one specific thing. 

In addition, do not spend ages learning for one subject. Break it up. This will make studying easier because it’s less monotonous and you think you do more than you actually do. 

Next, be economical about what you study. Not everything will be part of the exam, and there will be a lot of stuff you most likely already know. Focus on the things you struggle with most and what you are sure will be on the exam. 

Also think about how you study. Apply reading strategies and find ways of studying that work for you. For me, writing summaries always helps a lot because I go through all the material and select for myself what I think is important. Write it down in your own words. Another great way of doing things is to ask yourself questions, as if you are the person creating the exam. Be strict with yourself when you try to answer these question. Another thing that might work is explaining the material to someone. This might be an actual person, like a friend or family member, but a stuffed animal will do too. For learning vocab words: repetition is key!! Do a little bit every day instead of focusing on it for long periods of time. Also take breaks with the material. Focus on one thing for a while, before leaving it for a few days and returning to it later. This will train your memory. 

Finally, if you think you might have issues keeping time during the exam, practice this! If you have practice exams, do them within the allotted time. This will help you to see how long you can spend on questions and will help to train your attention span. 

Then, it is also important to think of your mental (and physical) health. If you are happy and confident and well rested, you will do better during the actual exams, believe me. So...

Do not panic! Easier said than done, but really. You have more time than you think and not every exam is going to be as difficult as the next one. Pressure can make you more focused, but stress is immobilising. 

Take breaks. Go outside. Do things you enjoy. Being in a positive mindset will help you study. You can’t study all the time and your brain needs time to process all the information you’re busy pumping into it. Also, take days off every ones in a while. Over-studying is a thing. 

Taking this further, sleep! Seriously. Make sure you get enough sleep. Do not overwork yourself. Your brain needs sleep to process all the information and if your mind is well rested, it will help you take in new information the next day. Also, I will help you focus. The same thing goes for the exam day. Do not pull all-nighters! If you don’t know it the evening before, you don’t know it the next day. 

Meditate and exercise. After meditating (this doesn’t have to be long) you are more focused for a little while, which can help you study. Also, meditating is about focus and doing that regularly will help you train your attention span. I meditate before studying too and it really helps! Being physically healthy helps your mind too, so take your time to get some light exercise. It also allows you to take a break. 

Finally, talk to people!! If you are stressed or not doing well, talk to people about this and do not be afraid to ask for help. Don’t keep it all bottled up inside. You don’t have to do this on your own. 

This is all I can come up with now. Good luck with your exams!! You’ll be fine, I know it. I hope this helped at least a little bit.

[aidyn-rose]

hey..i hope you're sleeping by now, but anyhoo, i just really wanted to apologize for...well me today. a sincere apology, not one of the 'either one of us is upset and i feel like it's the only thing i can say bc i feel awful and want to die' sorry's. But when i was ranting to you to help calm me down, all of those things are my life and it's all i've ever known. i need you to know i'm an extremely sensitive person and my WHOLE life has been a mess, and so it's hard to believe that i can live a happy life. all i have ever seen around me is lies and chaos and disorder. i do not want that between me and you. i really want to be with you forever and have a kid or two with you, and i want to be able to love all of you with my whole heart. once i am older and can afford it, i will be going to a therapist and be getting meds to help me with, well, me. i really really want you to be in my life forever, and i just need you to understand that i need time with everything. i do not trust easy because i've never been shown trust my entire life. i want it to start with you, and i want you to help me get better and stay better.[...], I am so glad to have met you and been able to spend time with you and do the things we have done together. You do make me happy, even if i don't fully understand what is happening. I struggle with coping and getting myself out of a depressive rut once i've hit rock bottom, but i want you to be the one to reach your hand down and pull me back out. I want to go on cute dates with you and i want to go to concerts with you. i want to have all-nighters where we just do whatever. i want late-night snacks with you, sitting on the floor with only the fridge light shining on us through a slit as we sit in only shirts and underwear, giggling so the neighbors don't hear. i want to be able to call you when i feel like i did tonight and i want to be able just lay in bed and stare at your face until the dawn peaks through the blinds and hits our bodies relaxing against one another. I want to enjoy times of soft cuddles, where we are very intimate with just the idea of just the touch of our hands against each other's skin enough for us to feel like we are creating whole universes between our touch. i also want you to bend me over and pull my hair and fuck me so hard and so good for so long. i want to have our apartment together where we can do whatever with each other. i want to be able to come home after a stressful day and just sit on the couch, and you just know. you get a blanket and we sit there and watch tv in silence of each other to feel better. i want to be able to have that wedding day with you and to have our first dance. i doubt we'd have a traditional wedding but we'd make whatever we decide work 😂 i want to have your kids and to be able to get a big home and be able to give our children all the love and things i never got. i want to be able to get them that brand new car or send them on vacation every school break so they can just be happy. i want this life with you, [...]. i want you. i love you. i always will.”

a message from me