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lovebugism · 11 months

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YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, KID | the beginning.

summary: a year after the end of the world, you and steve share one cigarette and two confessions. (6k)

listen to: "as the world falls down" by david bowie

tags: f!reader, roadtrip fic, friends to lovers, slow burn, mutual pining, angst & comfort, post st4, selective canon divergence (some things happen, some things don't), reader goes by the nickname "scout" TW panic attacks, conversations about grief, steve harrington smokes but he's still hot, outfit inspo (not indicative of what r's body type/skin color/etc.)

a/n: kinda surreal that i'm posting this because it's something i've been working on/thinking about for Months. i put so much time and effort and tears into this series so pleasepleaseplease enjoy it! as always, let me know what you think! let's watch these two (sort of) friends run away and fall in love with each other, shall we? <3

JOURNALS | MASTERLIST | SPOTIFY

★。＼｜／。★

The beginning of the rest of your life starts in the murky alleyway outside The Velvet Lounge.

It’s pretty fitting, actually. You feel like you’re close to dying anyway.

The lightning strike of a panic attack comes first as a cold hand around your throat. The clawed talon of a long-gone monster strangles you — sucks all the air out of your lungs and leaves you gasping for a breath you know won’t come.

A second later and the light-up dance floor beneath your feet begins to sway. You blink, and it becomes the desiccated terrain of the Upside Down — again, and the glowing rainbow tiles return. Eventually, it becomes impossible to discern the real from the imaginary.

You feel a bit like the world’s caving in on itself as you stumble through the bustling crowd. The thumping of the heady bass strums throughout your body as you squeeze between a mob of sweatier ones. The merciless pounding makes you forget that your heart’s no longer beating.

The heavy breeze of a summer night smacks you in the face. There is no fresh air outside the buzzing nightclub, just more emptiness.

You lean against the brick wall, clutching desperately onto your chest as you stumble from the exit. The world around you starts to spin on its side, going blurry like you’re being pulled underwater.

You’re drowning, but none’s coming to save you.

To everyone else, you’re just a girl that’s had too many. The girl that’s lost too much.

You duck into the dark alley with the intention of withering away there.

A warm hand brings you back to life.

“Shit, Scout,” Steve Harrington curses behind you. “Are you— Are you okay?”

You’ve never heard the nickname leave his mouth so gently. You don’t think he’s ever touched you so softly, either. It’s all so foreignly tender compared to the war raging inside your skull — you think it would’ve made you weep if you were capable of catching your breath.

His presence is only startling in the sense that you hadn’t expected to find him there.

It was pretty much the reason you’d slinked through the dimly lit passageway in the first place — to die completely and utterly alone. The flickering orange lamplight and damp brick made this place more adequate for puking college kids, canoodling couples, and conniving Ted Bundy’s of the world. Not pretty Steve and his pretty clothes and his pretty hair.

You’re more humiliated at having been caught than you are alarmed by it.

You figure you really shouldn’t be. He’s already seen you at your worst. On your deathbed, crying so hard you puke, so far gone from the world that you’re practically a ghost — that kind of worst.

But for some reason, his wide palm on your shoulder makes you feel fragile. Small. He stands fathoms above you and you’re nothing but an ant under his sneaker — a little delicate thing he could crush completely if he wanted.

Instead, Steve holds you.

His long fingers cradle your trembling shoulder in a steady embrace. A warm reminder that you’re not alone in this gloomy alleyway that still thrums with life. That, in some ways, you’ve never really been alone at all.

“Yeah,” you answer finally, nodding but not looking over at him. You swallow through a tightening throat. “I just… I just need to, uh… to catch my breath.”

Steve eyes you with a gaze swimming with apprehension.

Your shoulder presses into the rough brick while your other hand clings desperately to your chest. Your fingers dig into the soft cotton of your shirt like you’re reaching for your thundering heart. Each of your breaths is ragged, forced, worked for. You grunt your way through every impossible inhale.

Facing away from him under the dim amber streetlight, he can barely make out your profile. He only gets glimpses of your scrunched face and the tear that glimmers gold on your cheek. But with his hand on your arm, he can feel the rapid up-and-down motion of your heavy breaths. Panic sizzles off of you and onto him like static shock.

“Yeah, it was getting kinda crazy in there, huh?” he says within a halfhearted laugh. “I didn’t know people like Duran Duran so much.”

It’s nothing more than a feeble attempt to get you to laugh.

And it works. Sort of.

You’d lost sight of Steve somewhere around the time “Girls on Film” came on. Nancy’s drunken hand pulled you to the dance floor, and every other tipsy woman followed right behind you. He hadn’t seemed to care much about dancing, though. He just sat in the corner booth with Robin until Vickie came by and stole her away. The last you saw him, he was sitting alone at the bar with a basket of chicken wings before disappearing entirely.

But he hadn’t disappeared, you figured. He was just here, in this eerily empty alleyway, trying to get away from it all just as much as you were.

Steve sees the corners of your mouth quirk upward in a grimacing sort of smile. A scoff sounds from your throat a moment later. He thinks that might be the sort of laugh you get from a girl who doesn’t have much to find humor in anymore.

Your newfound relief is his own.

“You okay now?” he asks once you’ve caught your breath.

You nod and settle back against the brick. The fabric of your shirt sticks to the prickly clay. “Yeah,” you repeat, more truthfully this time. “Thanks— Thank you.”

You’re forced to mourn the warmth of the broad hand on your shoulder when he pulls away from you.

He doesn’t stray far, though. He remains at your side with his back to the brick — his frame much taller than your own, broader too. His woody cologne swirls with the purer scent of a summer night and the distant smell of beer. He holds within him an air that can only be described as all-consuming. He’s exactly the feeling of everything warm despite the several inches that separate you.

Steve offers you the lit cigarette in his left hand, and for a reason you can’t name, his kindness takes you by surprise. You’ve fought a monster with the guy, but he still feels like a total stranger to you sometimes.

He sees you hesitate and thinks that this might be the first time either of you have been alone together. You don’t have anything in common except for the party. Without one of the members to accompany you, the fact becomes a heavier weight to bear.

It’s sort of like a peace offering — this half-gone cigarette. A ‘hey, I know we aren’t really friends, but maybe we could be.’

You take it. “Thanks…”

Steve watches you puff from the stick. You hold the thing between your thumb and forefinger, pinching it as you bring it up to your mouth. The huff you take isn’t a deep one, probably the fault of your still staggering breaths, but your eyes flutter shut on the exhale like you’re grateful for the nicotine fix.

He realizes then that he’s never looked at you before. Like, really looked.

Like a ghost, you tend to blend easily into the background, floating around in the shadows without ever being seen. You’re only out tonight because Robin and Nancy forced your hand, but in your darkened outfit — cropped tee, plain skirt, worn boots, all varying shades of black — you threaten to blend in with the night. You do it all with the finesse of a girl who’s all but disconnected herself from the world.

You catch him staring when you hand the cigarette back.

You don’t look weirded out by his prying gaze — quite the opposite, really. You cower under the attention, chin tilting toward your chest and a sheepish smile hinting at your lips. Embarrassed without any actual reason to be.

“Wanna tell me the real reason you came out here?” Steve asks you, covering the serious inquiry with a joking lilt.

Your brows furrow as you watch him bring the cigarette to his own mouth. He’s got this look on his face — raised brows, wide eyes, and quirked lips — almost like he’s teasing you.

You breathe out an awkward laugh.

“What do you mean? I just told you.” You try to smile, but it doesn’t quite reach your eyes. It looks more like you’re wincing as you shift your weight on your feet. “I just needed to—”

��To catch your breath,” Steve finishes for you, smoke billowing from his pink lips. The grey lingers between you for a moment before disappearing entirely. He nods with a lopsided grin before handing you back the cigarette. “Yeah. I heard you. I just don’t believe you.”

Your eyes go wide. He can’t tell if you’re shocked by his bluntness or if you’re embarrassed at having been caught so quickly. Maybe a healthy mixture of both.

Your throat tightens all over again. You swallow thickly as you turn away from him and it feels like you’re forcing down a too big pill. The back of your eyes burn with unshed tears, so many stinging needles that you force yourself to blink away.

And even though you’re just trying not to cry at the reality of the situation you’ve spent a year hiding from, to Steve it looks like you’re searching for a way out. Your gaze snaps to the opening of the alley where nicely dressed people bustle on the other side, their conversations far away and muffled.

He hadn’t meant to make you uncomfortable. He just thought you could use a friend, considering you were only just recovering from the windswept panic spell.

“Look. You— You tell me why you’re out here, and I’ll tell you why I am,” he offers, partly to make you feel better.

The other half of it, which he finds it startling to admit, is that he doesn’t want you to leave.

He’d spent fifteen minutes by himself in the dark — half comforted by it, half frightened. Despite his distant unfamiliarity with you, he’s weirdly comforted by your presence. Steve’s seen enough people walk away from him to know he doesn’t want you to join them.

You look at him again, more glassy-eyed than you’d been before. Your sniffle is nearly inaudible. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “You know… A you-show-me-yours, I’ll-show-you-mine kinda thing.”

It sounds a lot weirder coming out of his mouth than he expected it to. It makes you laugh, though, so it feels sort of worth it.

“That sounds really pervy,” you tease with a more sincere smile.

“Yeah. Sorry. Just— Maybe just ignore that last part, yeah?” he stammers stiffly, laughing softly at himself shortly after.

You finally take a hit from the cig between your fingers. Your gaze falls to your boots.

They were a gift from someone you knew a long time ago — someone you don’t know anymore because they’re gone.

It was a well-loved anniversary present you’ve worn every day since you got them. They’re a bit tattered now, obviously worn on the platformed bottoms. You don’t know how many times you’ve glued the soles back together now — or how many times you’ve tried to wash away the faded bloodstain by the laces that refuses to come out.

It’s as stuck there as the memories in your head are.

And even though you’ve never talked about it out loud, you think you could write a million words about how looking at the stain makes you feel — about all the thoughts that swirl within you at the sight of it and why you can’t throw them out despite it all. You’d write about the boy who bought them for you, whose name it’s still so hard to say — the boy who you loved who was gone.

It was just easier to shove it all down.

You kept your grief horribly discreet, like a poorly stitched-together wound.

If you couldn’t even burden yourself with it, why should you expect anyone else to?

But here Steve goes, offering to let that raging wound breathe.

Something about the ultimatum makes it more comforting. It’s a lot easier to tell a kept secret when you know another hidden confession is coming right after it. You don’t know if you’ll ever get this chance again — to shield your grief with someone else’s.

“Okay,” you answer suddenly before exhaling the gray from your lungs. You outstretch your hand to give him the cigarette back. You try to smile. “You first, though.”

Steve puffs from the stick before he answers you. For a moment, it’s nothing but muffled conversations and a stifled bass that rattles the brick. The quiet is noticeably less suffocating than all the quiets you’ve known before — less lonely now that you’ve got someone to share them with.

“I hate parties,” he summarizes with a shrug.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need a little more than that,” you joke.

He flicks the end of the cigarette to dispel the ash. Grey specks fall to the damp concrete. When he hands it off to you again, your fingers brush his own. Your skin is much cooler than the humid summer air surrounding you.

“I mean, I used to like parties. I think,” Steve explains, still rather vague, gesturing with wild hands like you’re used to. “Really, I just liked to drink, you know? ‘Cause everyone liked me when I was drunk. I was the popular guy — Mr. Funny, Mr. Cool. But, uh… I guess somewhere down the line, I forgot how to have fun like that.”

“Forgot how to have fun?” you repeat with a sad sort of laugh. Your brows scrunch and your swim with sympathy. The streetlamp casts sharp shadows on his chiseled features, but he still looks at you so soft — eyes sweet with the tenderness he holds there and smiling just the same.

It’s hard to believe that the King of Hawkins High could’ve ever felt anything other than total elation when he had a whole ocean outside his front door on Fairview Lane.

“I think they have a name for that these days, Harrington.”

He laughs and turns to press his shoulder into the brick. He’s facing you now, and it feels much more like he’s looming over you.

You remain against the wall, still a bit overwhelmed by the presence of a boy who never would’ve looked your way a year or more ago. It takes everything in you not to duck away from him completely.

“Well, I was only having fun because I was drunk, right?” he elaborates, brown eyes a golden amber beneath the flickering light. They twinkle looking down at you.

“Sure…” you shrug to humor him.

“And, like, I can deal with the hangovers and everything no problem, you know, but the… The waking up the next morning. The remembering, I guess. Remembering everything I was trying to forget when I was drinking. That’s… That’s the worst part.”

You don’t realize how intently you’re looking at him at first. Every quirk of his rosy mouth, every twitch of his bushy brow, every glint of his chocolate eyes as he divulges a deeply held secret doesn’t go unnoticed by you. Behind all the pretty hair and expensive clothes is a boy much sadder than you could’ve imagined.

Something bigger had done a number on him. Something more than the end of the world.

His upturned gaze returns to you and you realize you haven’t blinked once.

You do a rather shit job of pretending you weren’t just staring. You haphazardly turn away again, handing him the cigarette despite not having put your mouth to it.

“Yeah, I— I get what you mean…”

Your words seem to surprise him. His brows pinch like he was more prepared to be made fun of than empathized. He takes the cig from you with an absentminded hand. It goes quickly forgotten.

“You do?”

“Well, not so much with drinking, but… It happens to me in the morning sometimes,” you shrug, feigning nonchalance, and trying not to seem like it’s a phenomenon you’ve experienced every day for a year and a half. “It’s, like, that split second of bliss right before the grief comes back, right?”

Steve blinks owlishly. Then nods.

“That half a moment where nothing bad’s ever happened to you, and it’s just the sun shining on you before the… the bad shit comes back again. Like it never even left.”

And Steve, who’s never met another person who could so easily understand him and that otherwise indescribable feeling so perfectly, is stunned into silence.

Maybe it’s his fault for keeping it all to himself, like a love letter he can’t bring himself to unfold. It’s entirely likely that he could find a million people in the world who’ve felt all the same feelings he’s garnered over the past couple of years. It still wouldn’t hold the same weight as being understood now — being understood by someone who’s been through the end of the world with him.

Being understood without all the empty words.

“Yeah,” he nods finally, clearing his throat. His cheeks glow red when he realizes he’d forgotten to speak because he was too busy looking at you. “Yeah, exactly— Shit!”

The sides of his fingers sting with a sharp ache. The cig in his hand drops to the ground, half the size of his pinky. There isn’t much left of it now, and that’s why it burns him so. It hits the concrete, more ash than stick. The skin of Steve’s finger blackens as it blazes.

“Oh— Are you okay?” you grimace.

Steve snuffs out the burning cigarette with the toe of his sneaker.

“Yeah, I— I just wasn’t paying attention,” he dismisses with the shake of his head, more so at himself than anything else. It’s the first time he’s had an actual conversation with you, and he’s already embarrassed himself twice. He’ll count himself lucky if you care enough to talk to him again.

“Your go, Scout,” he offers suddenly in a measly attempt to get the attention off of him and his blunder. He wipes the ash from his pointer and middle finger on his jeans. “See if you can out-miserable me.”

You roll your eyes at him, still smiling. “What is this? The trauma olympics?”

“C’mon. I’m kidding,” he assures with a lilt. He reaches out to nudge your arm with his knuckles and, like before, his touch is almost too soft for you to feel it. The act of platonic intimacy takes you momentarily by surprise.

His smile is crooked. His eyes glimmer with honey. “I was kidding,” he repeats.

“It was just that, um— that song,” you answer. It comes out more choked than you expected it to. “They started playing that song.”

Steve’s brows furrow. “What song?” he asks. Not pressing. Only curious.

“That one that… that Eddie played when I…”

“Oh.”

“I used to love that stupid song— I mean, obviously. It sorta saved me from what should’ve been an unavoidable death, so…” You manage to laugh at yourself as you ramble.

Steve can’t find it in himself to do the same.

He’d been terrified when it happened to Max — when the kid he was involuntarily babysitting started to float in midair, nearly succumbing to the curse of a monster that should’ve been make-believe. He was relieved when she fell back down again, but you? He was certain you were a goner.

You were too high up and Eddie’s guitar was too far away. The beginning notes of I Was Made For Lovin’ You were too grim and Vecna’s claws were in too deep. You were too distant, too banished.

For several agonizing seconds, you were destined to remain a stranger to him.

But here you are now, sharing cigarettes and secrets.

Your eyes squeeze shut as you shake your head at yourself. “But, um, anyway. Yeah. It’s just… Sometimes things will happen, you know? Like I’ll— I’ll hear a song or… I’ll see something that reminds me of him— of Eddie. And it’s just like…”

“…Like you’re in the Upside Down again?” Steve finishes gently for you when he sees that you can’t.

You nod, wordlessly for a moment, until the words catch up with you.

“Like nightmares, but when I’m awake,” you force through a closing throat. “And they’re so real. Like… I can— I can hear him. I can hear him talking to me, and I’m— I’m holding him, and I can feel him breathing, you know? He’s still breathing, but—”

You take a staggering breath in. For a moment, Steve’s scared you’re tumbling headfirst into another panic attack.

His attentive eyes flit between your scrunched up face and the trembling hands you hold out in front of you. You’re cradling something that isn’t there anymore. You look down at your palms with a horror that tells him you understand that, too — that the person you used to hold isn’t able to be held anymore.

“I can feel the… the blood. And it’s just… It’s all over me. And I’m losing him. I’m losing him all over again—”

You hiccup a measly sob when your lungs force you to take a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It puts an end to your rambling. You’re grateful enough for it. You’d already said more than you were planning to — more than you thought you’d say in a lifetime.

You think you must sound deranged, talking about a corpse like it’s still a warm body you hold every night.

In some ways, it is.

You sniffle and blink back burning tears. Your smile edges on sincerity. “So, what do you think, Harrington? Did I out-miserable you?”

Steve scoffs in the place of a real laugh. “I didn’t have a dog in that fight, did I? What you went through… I mean, I shouldn’t even be complaining.”

“Hey, c’mon,” you scold gently. “We both went through shit. It was all bad, no matter how you look at it. Just because we didn’t go through the same stuff doesn’t mean what happened to you is any less important.”

You just barely catch his cinnamon eyes going glassy before he turns away from you entirely. His stubbled cheeks blotch with varying shades of pink, glowing with an emotion he can’t keep hidden. He looks down at his dirty sneakers because he can’t bare to look at you now.

Understanding, that’s what this is. Understanding without all the empty words.

It’s still hard for him to believe them, though.

In the grand scheme of things, what happened to him wasn’t so terrible.

He wasn’t under any sort of curse. No one he cared about was irrevocably hurt, either. And he didn’t have to hold someone he loved in his arms while they bled to death — doesn’t have to feel like he’s still holding onto them a year after it all.

Despite the marred scars on his mind and body, Steve convinces himself that he has no reason to be sad — even though that’s not really how sadness works. Grief isn’t the kind of thing you can just will away, but he beats himself up when he can’t — when the heartache wins.

It’s a never-ending cycle. A loop he’s been stuck in since he was seventeen. A portal he was terrified would never close.

Now, at least, it feels sort of possible.

“You shouldn’t talk like that, Scout,” he jokes after the urge to weep has passed. He tilts his head to his shoulder and smiles a crooked grin. “I’m gonna start to think you like me.”

Without missing a beat, you retort: “Please, never ever think that. That would completely shatter my reputation.”

You both laugh with the knowing that it’s all just a joke.

You never had much of a reputation because you spent your whole life being invisible. You liked it best that way because never being seen meant nothing was ever expected of you. You’ll happily take someone you went to school with your entire life never knowing your name than any bogus Hawkins High royalty status any day.

Steve, better known by his title of King, wishes now that he’d taken a page out of your book. He learned the power of invisibility far too late.

“Who woulda thought, huh?” the boy sighs, chocolate eyes turned up to the velvet blue sky. “You and me… being friends.”

You arch a brow at him. “Oh, is that what we are now?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steve scoffs like it’s obvious. “They didn’t tell you? You fight monsters together, and you’re bonded for life.”

“Is that so?”

“Absolutely. I mean, why do you think me and Henderson are so close?”

“So you’re saying you would’ve never been friends if it wasn’t for the end of the world?” you reiterate with a challenging squint.

“That’s almost exactly what I’m saying. Yeah,” he nods with his pink lips jutted softly out. “If none of that shit ever happened, I’d still be that raging douchebag I used to be. My life would be… so much different.”

“Worse?” you press.

He thinks for a moment.

Without the whole end-of-the-world thing, he never would’ve met Dustin. He never would’ve gotten closer to Robin. Nancy never would’ve had a reason to break up with him, and he figures he’d have long settled down with her by now. They’d be that miserable couple that somehow manages to make it.

He’d probably still be friends with Tommy Hagan, too, getting drunk at parties he’s too old to be at. He’d still be the King Steve everyone loved and hating every second of it.

Fighting monster after monster changed him for the better. Even with its horror, how could he ever take that back?

He winces at the realization. “Yeah…”

“So you’d do it all over again?” you ask, dumbfounded.

“I think so, yeah.” Steve’s smile is shy as he ducks his gaze, peering at you through his lashes. “I’m a total idiot, right?”

Your brows pinch together as you shake your head. “No. I don’t think so… Actually, I think the end of the world looks pretty good on you, Harrington.”

He knows you don’t mean it how it sounds. He gets the feeling you’re talking less about his appearance and more about why he’s standing out here in the first place — talking to a girl he’s halfway known all his life whose name he didn’t know until she almost died.

For the same reason — the one that’s brought you to him and this alley — he jokes back: “It looks good on you, too, Scout.”

Again, you laugh with the understanding that you’re joking. For the most part, at least.

You’re both so weathered with grief, looking much older than your years, forced to wear your woe all over. For whatever transformation the trauma might’ve done internally, it hadn’t done anything on the outside than leave scars that won’t fade.

When the laughter subsides, a silence roars to life.

Not a total one. You can still hear the pounding bass from inside The Velvet Lounge and the muddled chatter of people coming in and out of it. It’s not a totally uncomfortable one either, which is far more than you thought you could ever say about talking to Steve The Hair Harrington.

But it’s still sort of heavy in its way. Likely with the idea of what the both of you know and of everything you’ve confessed out loud.

Now that it’s all out in the open, Steve’s got no idea how to move on. How is he supposed to joke around now? How does he say anything but sorry to the girl who holds all her grief in her eyes?

“Hey, Scout?” he calls quietly.

Your leftover grin hasn’t yet faded. “Hm?”

“I’m… I’m really sorry.”

The smile ebbs entirely.

“Why are you apologizing?” you ask with the shake of your head, almost flinching at the sudden condolence. “You didn’t… You’re not the one that killed Eddie.”

“I know. I just… I feel like I should— like I should say it, you know?”

“That’s the worst part about all of this, I think. Like… you lose someone, and no one knows how to talk to you anymore,” you confess, a sad smile hinting at the very corners of your lips — so soft it’s barely there. Your gaze falls to your boots again. “Everyone just feels so sorry for you all the time. All anyone ever wants to do is talk about what happened like I don’t have to think about it enough, you know? It just… It makes it impossible to move on.”

Steve winces. He can’t ever say the right thing. “I’m sorry—”

“Stop apologizing,” you tell him, laughing. “I’m not saying that— I’m just… I’m just saying. I think it’d be easier if I didn’t have to stay here. You know, where everything happened. If I could… Like, if I could just go, I think that maybe I could get better.”

“You could,” Steve affirms with a nod.

Your brows furrow. “Get better?”

“Well, yeah,” he shrugs, amber gaze flitting between your glittering eyes and his dirty sneakers. “And… And leave. You know, if you wanted to.”

The thought alone makes you laugh. “By myself? With no car? Barely any money?”

“You wouldn’t have to go alone,” he promises.

“Yeah?” you scoff, still grinning like it’s all a joke to you. “And who would want to run away with a girl with a broken heart?”

He answers without thinking and with a lopsided smile. “The boy with nothing to lose.”

Your smile fades with the heavy weight of his offer.

It isn’t just about running away. It’s about running away together — two people with nothing in common besides a mutual hatred for a dark wizard from the underworld, ditching a town that hasn’t done shit for them, and pretending like nothing’s ever hurt them.

And at first, you’re shocked. Who wouldn’t be with such an offer thrown at their feet? But then, and more than anything else, you’re confused. Why would Steve want to run away? you think to yourself. Why would he want to run away with you?

When the bolt blue finally dissipates, you’re left with a simmering feeling of disbelief.

Steve shouldn’t want this, and he shouldn’t want it with you.

“You’re drunk,” you conclude, smiling because it’s a joke again.

“Yeah. Maybe,” Steve shrugs with his gaze pointed to the sky. The stars are hidden beneath layers of light and pollution. They’re out there somewhere, but he can’t see them — not from where he is now. He looks back to you, a sheepish smile playing on his pink mouth. “But… I’m not.”

“Would you seriously want to leave?” you squint. With me, you keep to yourself, unsaid.

“I’ve, uh— I’ve been wanting to for a while, actually. Even before all of… this,” he confesses, waving his hand out into the ether. He grins in reminiscence, but not the fond kind. “My dad— he’s just been dogging me about work and college and everything, you know? I think he wants me to be the same big shot business douchebag that he is, and I get it, but…”

You lean closer to him, brows furrowed. “But what?” you press.

Steve exhales a sad laugh. “I really don’t wanna end up like my dad,” he admits — a thought he kept like a thorn in his side finally said out loud. “And I’m scared that, if I stay here, I will.”

“So you’ve just been looking for a way out. All this time?” you wonder aloud. While I thought you were on top of the world, you were wanting out of it.

Steve shrugs, then nods.

“And a girl with nothing to lose?” you joke.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly to himself. “That, too.”

You turn away from him again, deep in thought. Steve mourns your gaze — its attentiveness more than anything, the way you look at him and seem to understand him without saying a goddamn word. He didn’t think that was possible before now.

You think to yourself for a moment. Mostly because it’s something you know you should think about before you do it.

How will you pay your way? Where will you go? What will you do when you get there?

What will your parents say when they notice you’re gone? How long will it take before they do?

Who’ll feed the stray cats outside the trailer park?

Who’ll leave flowers at Eddie’s grave once a month and clean it when it’s ultimately vandalized by assholes who still think he was a mass murderer sent from Hell to do Satan’s bidding?

There’s a lot of questions you don’t have answers for.

What little you do know, though, you’re certain of.

You know there’s nothing left for you in Hawkins.

You don’t have much family — especially not since Eddie — and your friends aren’t really your friends. Sure, Nancy invites you out from time to time, but she’d never call you to dish about secrets and shared trauma in this way. Sometimes you think they only include you because your boyfriend died, and they all saw what it did to you.

And you also know that there’s nothing holding you back but grief. To absolve yourself from it all, to finally move the fuck on, you’re going to have to leave it all behind. It’s not like you’d be missing much anyway.

You’re still a ghost because you live in a soul-sucking town full of people who only want to talk to you when it’s to remind you that the only person you’ve ever loved is dead.

Nothing has brought you back to life quite like this boy and his secrets and offer to run away.

You think you’d been an idiot to walk away from it. From him.

“Fuck it.”

Steve almost flinches at how feverishly you turn to face him again.

His brows raise to his hairline, honey eyes going wide at the abrupt nature of your sudden reply. “…Fuck it?” he echoes, not nearly as confident as you’d said it — just grateful that you’d said it at all.

For a boy who always expects rejection, your innate acceptance of him and his previously kept secrets makes his chest swell with so much warmth that it’s started to burn him. He can feel his ribcage turning to ash and his heart melting as he speaks.

“Fuck it,” you nod, more serious than he’s ever seen you.

You turn to face him fully, something you’d been too timid to do just minutes ago. You’re more sure now — of him, of this. The proximity between your bodies forces you to tilt your head up to look at him. Similarly, his chin falls to his chest to peer at you.

Tucked away in this alley, you’re made of shadows and shades of gold. The lamplight still flickers over your heads. The brick still shakes with the drumming, muffled bass. You don’t realize until now that you can feel your heart beating again.

“Let’s do it,” you shrug with a blast of hopeful anticipation swelling in your chest, more optimistic than you’ve been in a year. “Nothing to lose, right?”

Steve grins.

“Nothing to lose,” he repeats, reminding himself of the fact when reality starts to set in on him. Even if he fails, even if it all goes wrong and he’s waking up in his childhood bed a week from now, he can’t get any lower than rock bottom. Besides, now he’s got you to fall back on, right?

“Fuck it.”

★。／｜＼。★

#published by bug #steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things imagine #steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fic #steve harrington fanfic #yoyok

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huramuna · 1 month

Text

banshee's lament - chapter 8.

aemond targaryen x stark ofc minor jacaerys velaryon x stark ofc masterlist prev | next

wordcount: 4.7k

@huramuna-fics - follow & turn on notifications for just my fic postings! no taglists right now, sorry.

i've been planning this chapter for months now, i hope you all enjoy! there is a surprise in this chapter 👀

content: smut, angst, fluff, disabled ofc, aemond being delulu & obsessive, major canon divergence, ofc has a service direwolf, i'm taking canon rules and putting them in a blender and taking a shot, arranged marriage, graphic depictions of violence, talk of chronic pain and illness

story playlist

It was slowly nearing half a year since Shera and Cregan arrived at King’s Landing– she still hadn’t gotten used to the heat but she had finally, somehow, begun to adjust to the people, the looks, the whispers and sneers.

She, albeit slowly, was losing care in such things. She had been spending more and more time with the people she cared about– the ones who made her happy. She still visited Helaena and the children once a day and sometimes would even stay overnight and giggle under the covers with the princess like they would when they were children.

Her mornings started by watching Aemond spar with Ser Cole. She didn’t hide from it anymore– as she felt… somewhat liberated from showing her eye to him. She couldn’t exactly explain, to herself, much less anyone else, why she felt warmer than usual when watching him clash swords with his mentor. Sweat dripping from his face, the little sneer he plastered on when he was particularly concentrating. It felt like butterflies were trapped in her stomach, beating against her skin to get out. It was unfamiliar at first, the feeling– but now it’s become a recognized acquaintance, even if she couldn’t exactly name it.

Aemond, as well, had taken it upon himself to make more effort to spend time with Shera. His days before she returned to King’s Landing were very structured, very planned and scheduled. He would wake up, spar with Cole from morning light until lunch with his mother, then back to sparring until early evening when he would wind down by reading in his chambers, eat dinner, and then go to bed. ‘Going to bed’ didn’t really indicate sleeping, however. He didn’t need much of it to function and found the dreams (and nightmares, to his chagrin) that came with sleep uncouth– so he laid, usually for hours, until his mind drifted into the lightest of sleep cycles. He valued organization and repetition– impromptu changes to such a rigid routine were unwelcome.

Except for Shera– a very impromptu change to his life on her own. Mayhaps unwelcome at first, his outward antagonistic behavior to her was improper and came from a place of, surprisingly, regret. Regret and self-loathing. Usually, he attributed the feeling of self-pity and self flagellation in association with his brother, who was in all rights, a pathetic example of a man (but still his brother and wouldn’t tolerate such talk about him from anyone else) but when Shera came back, walking down that hall– she had looked so small, like she was a fragile heirloom on the verge of breaking at any moment. She could hardly walk without guidance and hid herself.

When his mother said she was returning, as vague as it was, he felt some sort of resentment bubbling up in his gut. What gave her the right to return now? He fully expected her to be the epitome of a Northern lady, hardy and strong, unyielding. The letters ‘she’ (unbeknownst to him at the time, the words were fabrications of Cregan) sent after Driftmark, painted the picture of someone who was fine, who was well adjusted, who didn’t have to go through moons and moons of relearning how to be a person. The image of Shera he had concocted into his mind, and onto paper– an icy woman with fiery hair who would come to blows with someone rather than shed a tear– was not what he saw.

No, what he had seen in that hall, who he had seen– he didn’t recognize her. Then, seeing the small curl of copper hair, the fur stole, the wolf. It struck him like a bolt of lightning, spurring every cell in his body into action, setting them on fire. Blood pumped in his ears and he could hardly hear her (whispering voice aside).

She was broken. Harsh, yes– but it was true. She was a shell, behest to the terrible experience they both suffered.

Regret flooded through him. She was this way because of him, because he dragged her along in the middle of the night to watch him claim Vhagar.

I should have killed them. I should have killed them.

And he retreated from her. He hardly remembers his words to her after she came out from his mother’s chambers– they felt vile in his mouth, like spewing venom. The primal part of him, the dragon, was unruly and restless.

He couldn’t stop lashing out at her–

But what did he really feel?

He fucking missed her. He missed her more than he could ever profess. He wouldn’t admit it outloud, of course, he had to maintain some form of self-preservation.

After their night in her room, after seeing her eye– there was a shift. They spent more time together and she became a fixture of his schedule.

Wake up, spar with Cole and have Shera watch him until noon, they would lunch together three days out of the week with Helaena. He cut his afternoon sparring in half and spent that time with Shera. At first it was awkward, but they melded into one another like their youth quickly.

She begged him to teach her how to draw, to help strengthen her eyesight.

“It… it hurts to focus.” she sniffed, looking up at him. She didn’t wear her veil when they were alone, which he made sure they were when they were drawing. Her blind eye was red rimmed slightly, twitching.

He had set up a vase on a small table for her to draw– it was a simple clay vase with a depiction of two nightingales in flight. They had just moved on from plain objects to something a bit more detailed, albeit only by a little bit.

“Don’t strain, Shera. Just… look at it normally. It’s blurry in some places, right?”

“… yes.”

“Okay. You looked at it up close for a good five minutes. Do you remember what was on the side?”

“The… the nightingale imprint.”

“You can see it in your mind, but it’s not clear to the eye. Use your memory to fill in the blanks.”

“Aemond— this… this is just a test of memory. How is this helping my eyes?”

“Trust me.”

She started off shaky, her first slew of sketches no better than his were when he had first started, but she fell into it quickly. She developed her own style, straying from the charcoal that Aemond used exclusively, and opted for more colorful tools– she had woad paste pastels imported from Dorne. They would sit and depict the same thing and come out with completely different results.

It was so easy to forget that she was betrothed to another. That she was to leave soon.

That she was to be his nephew’s wife. His nephew who didn’t give a shit about her. His nephew who was there. Did no one else think it a bit sick that she was to be the wife of someone who took a part in her mutilation?

Was he the only sane one?

He sighed softly as they finished up their drawings for the day. They had been sketching the coastline of Blackwater Bay– Shera went with a color scheme of blue and green and sparse spots of orange and yellow.

He stuck to his monochromatic charcoal.

“Rhaenyra’s name day gala is… in a fortnight, right?” Shera hummed, using her foot to pet Moongeist, who was at her feet.

“Mm,” Aemond responded, flicking some errant charcoal powder from his doublet. “A mummer’s farce, if you ask me.”

“... I don’t care much for events– but at least… your mother and sister are getting along,” she tilted her head as she wiped her hands off.

Rhaenyra and Alicent had been working together to plan the event and were in high spirits. They were frequently seen chatting lightheartedly.

“Half-sister,” Aemond clarifies, giving her a pointed look.

“Half-sister,” Shera says, brows raised. “I suppose it is a send off, too– since…” her voice trails off slightly, not really wanting to talk about her impending wedding to Jacaerys. She hasn’t spoken much to her betrothed as she didn’t feel the need to– she let him run around with her brother and do what he liked. She imagined it wouldn’t be much different when they were married.

An uneasy silence settled over them. There were many words on the tips of their tongues that they just couldn’t say– it would make it real.

“Shera-,”

“Aemond-,”

They spoke at the same time, standing up simultaneously. Moongeist made a warbling chuff sound that sounded like a laugh.

He must be sick of our antics.

“I should get back to my chambers– before dinner. Cregan wants to… eat with me, for some reason.” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Hm,” Aemond hummed in his usual manner.

—

Shera sat across from Cregan, leg crossed over the other as she fed Moongeist scraps under the table.

“What did you want to speak about?” she broke the silence, glancing up at him. She had put her veil back on– to her dismay, as she had come to like not having it on… around Aemond, at least.

“Do I need a reason to want to dine with my sister?” he asked, clenching his jaw slightly.

“... no,” she mumbled, flicking her nails against one another. “But you don’t usually dine with me.”

He chewed on his piece of mutton slowly, regarding her. “I’m leaving, Shera. I need to go back North.”

“Why?” she blurts out, a bit more emotionally than she wanted to. She and Cregan didn’t have a great relationship, but they were… siblings. There was familiarity.

“I’ve stayed too long already, there is a keep to run, things to do, Shera,” he narrowed his gaze. “Will you be alright… alone?”

Her lip caught between her teeth. “... I suppose so.” she and Cregan had their moments– she thought he was a huge idiot most of the time, but that was her brother. She had been by his side for the last ten years and he nursed her back to some semblance of health when she returned from Driftmark. No matter the choices he made, the ones he made for her– they were all one another had, really.

Her chest ached slightly that he would be going back North and leaving her here. She wouldn’t be alone, per say, but… her blood would be so far away.

“Will you… attend the wedding?” she asked then, drawing little circles on the table with the tip of her nail.

“Yes, I’ll return to Dragonstone for it.”

“Dragonstone?” Shera looked up, slightly alarmed. “I thought the wedding would be in King’s Landing?”

Cregan stopped chewing, suddenly looking sheepish. It was unbecoming of him. “I… yes,” he cleared his throat. “Jacaerys said that after his mother’s name day gala, they will move back to Dragonstone.”

Why does no one tell me anything? “Hm.” she grumbled, sounding much like Aemond– she’s picked up on his little mannerisms and made them her own, it seemed.

“You will be going with them and will be wed soon after.”

She made another noncommittal noise, scraping the remains of her plate to the floor. She’d lost her appetite.

She would be alone sooner than she thought.

—

Returning from a luncheon with Helaena, a few days after Cregan’s departure, she discarded her veil right away as soon as the door was closed behind her.

She waved her hand in front of her face, despairing in the heat of the South. Moongeist agreed, his tongue lolling out in a pant as he lapped at a small tub of water at the foot of the bed.

“It’s too hot for us here, dovey,” she whimpered, wiping sweat from her brow, beginning to strip the various layers of clothing she had on— she did have somewhere to be later in the day, but she would simply have to redress. “I hope Dragonstone is more breezy, lest we melt.”

The layers flew off of her, pooling upon the floor like a puddle of dark ichor. It likely didn’t help that she only wished to wear dark colors, attracting the heat of the sun to her poor constitution. Her cheeks flushed red with the errant warmth and she wondered if this was how those with Targaryen blood felt all of the time— constantly huffing, puffing, warm and sweating. It was terrible.

Finally in nothing but her shift and underclothes, she walked to the bed, hand reached out to peel back the blanket when something shiny caught her eye.

Investigating further, she found a small velvety box, opened to reveal a silver choker, inlaid with three sapphires. Blinking profusely, Shera carefully pried the piece out of its holdings and inspected it. It was, to say the least, flawless. It matched her silver earrings that she always wore almost down to the exact detail, the engravings even the same— long, flowing tendrils into the metal, outlining the gems like garlands. Pearls hung from the bottom of each sapphire. Her thumb roved over the center sapphire, the largest one and the most prominent. It was cool to the touch.

Gently placing the choker down, she dismantled the box looking for a note or any indication of who might have left it. She guessed it to be Jace— did he intend for her to wear it to the gala? She would have to find a garment to match.

Shera descended to her wardrobe, rummaging through until she landed on something that would go swimmingly with her new necklace. It was a dress she hadn’t worn at all, and had been tailored for her shortly before leaving Winterfell. It was a silver and blue dress with intricate embroidery akin to that of a Godswood, but the leaves were a cool toned blue rather than red. She had a pearl-laden head garment, imbued with a silken veil and ringed headdress of sorts, with silver moons hanging down on each side.

Curious.

–

“You… must stay outside, lovey,” Shera murmured to Moongeist. She had received a missive– unclear from who, but either Alicent and Rhaenyra– that they would prefer if her wolf was not in attendance to the gala. She wanted to cry, leaving him outside of the ballroom. Contrary to popular belief, she didn’t really command her companion– their relationship, as impenetrable as others may see it, was the culmination of years of hard work and trust. They were so attuned to each other, Moongeist knowing when she was pushing herself too far, when she was in distress, and when he needed to step into a situation. He was, on all accounts, very polite and well-mannered – for a wolf. He had never bitten anyone who didn’t deserve it. His good conduct thus far and impeccable record was apparently not enough for him to be admitted to the event. He whined as Shera snuffed into his fur, murmuring soft nothings into it. “I’ll return as soon as I can,” she whispered. “I’ll come get you when everyone leaves and you shall have all the scraps you’d like.”

Tearing herself from him, he sat dutifully outside of the glass door that led from the gardens into the ballroom. She willed herself not to cry, not to cry.

She was unsteady on her own feet, hoping to find someone familiar to steady herself on. The last option of familiarity presented itself first. Jacaerys spotted her right away, putting a hand on her waist. “Shera,” he smiled warmly. “You look… wonderful tonight. Mother is going to be so happy to see you in attendance.”

“Jacaerys,” she responded, willing a smile on her face. He was better than no one. She steadied herself by putting a hand on his shoulder. His eyes, usually sparkling with mirth, were a bit dim. He seemed… forlorn. “We don’t have such lavish events like this much– up North… apart from feasts. There usually isn’t much dancing.”

He swallowed, his brow furrowing minutely. “May I interest you in a dance, then?”

“Mm,” she hummed as they descended to the dance floor. She thought about her dance with Helaena and Aemond on the night of her betrothal dinner– it all felt so far away now. She tilted her head slightly as they danced. Jace’s head was looking to the door, as if he was waiting for someone. “As annoying as he is– I miss him as well.”

Jace looked slightly bewildered. “Pardon?”

“I may only be able to see from one eye, but I’m not completely blind,” Shera murmured. “You’ll see him again.”

The prince softened slightly, nodding his head. He was grateful for the words.

They danced a bit more and mingled, more so Jacaerys talking to people and stringing Shera along. Somehow, through it all, she became separated from him, walking on her own through the throngs of people. The heat, even with her less thick layers than usual, was stifling– from all of the bodies.

She suddenly felt… panicked, like when she was lost in the tunnels that one evening. “Excuse me,” she whispered hurriedly as she pushed through people, who didn’t even seem to see her there. “Pardon m–”

Her voice was cut off by a strong arm pulling her around her waist. Her anxiety damped right away as the familiar smell of sandalwood and leather took over her senses. Aemond looked down at her. “Lost again?” he was wearing a black and deep purple button-up doublet, with a long overcoat. It had a flared collar. He looked nice– it wasn’t much different color wise to his usual garb, but it absolutely wasn’t something he would spar in. He was even without his sword– but a brush of Shera’s hand near his waist revealed he did have his dagger strapped to his belt.

“... mayhaps.”

“And where is your guide? It is unlike your dog to abandon his post.”

“He wasn’t invited to the gala,” Shera frowned.

“And you’ve… been left alone?”

“Jacaerys was–”

Aemond held up his hand. “You don’t need to tell me any more,” he rolled his one eye. “He wouldn’t be able to keep track of you if you were the size of a dragon.”

They fell into an easy sway– he was much more relaxed than he was when they first danced. But Shera couldn’t shake what her brother had said– they… Rhaenyra and her brood, which included Shera now, would be leaving a few days after the gala. She hadn’t told Aemond, she didn’t know how.

“You’re worried,” he tilted her chin up to him so their gazes could meet. “I can feel your unease from here.”

“... I…” her mouth felt dry, her hand clutching his inner elbow shakily. “We’re leaving.”

Aemond stayed silent.

“Jacaerys and I… are to be wed upon Dragonstone– and we are to leave… in a few days.”

Aemond still declined to speak.

“Aemond,” she pressed her thumb into his skin.

“You can’t leave again,” he stated. He did not ask, nor plead. He stated it, as if it was a definitive fact. “I won’t let you.” the same moment of rage she had seen before was there, bubbling under the surface. A vein in his neck bulged out and she could feel the control he was trying to keep over himself, over the situation. He gripped her face with both hands now, boring into her with a surprising and sudden placid smile.

–

With a hand over her swollen belly, Rhaenyra scanned the crowd. It’d been so long since she properly enjoyed an event. The planning of it with Alicent had been… more fun than she thought it’d be, and the two women quickly fell back into a rapport, akin to when they were girls together.

It felt right.

Her eyes eventually fell upon two familiar faces— Shera, her veil pulled back slightly by Rhaenyra’s half-brother, Aemond. His hand gripped her face softly, but with intensity as the two locked gazes, lips pursed, brows furrowed, clearly in a heated conversation. It took Rhaenyra all but five seconds to be teleported back to her own wedding to Laenor, all those years ago, where she and Daemon had been in the exact same position— where she had dared Daemon to cleave through her father’s men, steal her away to Dragonstone and make her his wife.

Fuck.

–

“They think you are tame and controlled— but I can see it, the blood welling and boiling just under the surface of your skin. You’re hardly holding it together,” she whispered harshly. “Do you not think I’ve tried to devise everything I could… to stay? To stop any of this?”

“Quell me, then. Let me take you to marriage and let me cut your lip, taste your blood in the ways of old. Dampen my molten blood. I’ll do it in an instant, under the heart tree, in the molten halls of the Dragonmont– anywhere,” his nail pressed into her cheek, angling her head upward to look directly at him. No escape from madness, look me in the eye, he seemed to taunt silently.

It was overwhelming. She was overwhelmed with the warmth in her stomach, the butterflies she felt– they bursted into ash, searing into her like a brand. Shera felt the world around her chill, her extremities cold. “A-Aemond,” she croaked, her hand grasping at his shoulder with all of her might, but it’d only came through as a light tug. “A-Aem—“

Coldness spread through her, her vision fading to white. Then she was warm, extremely so— like she was on fire, panting and spewing hot breaths from her open maw.

Blinking her eyes— she was outside, her heavy wisps fogging the glass pane on the door. Wait. She had full vision, not just the one. It felt odd, so wrong for her to be able to see all around her like she was whole and normal.

Why was she outside? Just let me in, Godsdammit, let me in! She growled low, hands coming up to scratch at the wood and glass, nails digging into it. Her nails were longer than normal and much sharper, a deep black in color.

She wanted in, in, in, in— her hands, no— her paws and claws shredded at the door, eyes peering into the crowd. They were gathered around, shifting slightly to let her see what was going on—

They were gathered around her, eyes rolled back in her head as she laid limp in Aemond’s arms. She saw Jacaerys storming over, already hurling accusations towards Aemond.

No, no, he didn’t do this, stop! She screamed, barking and howling, her teeth biting into the wood and beginning to rip it apart, splintering and cracking the glass.

Shera watched in horror as Jacaerys unsheathed his sword. Aemond was still holding her, loathing to give her up—

Stop, stop, stopstopstop! She bursted through the weakened door, glass and all, feeling it tear at her fur and skin. Patrons gasped around her as she mulled through them towards the center, snapping and snarling.

“Moongeist, calm down!” Jacaerys said, his eyes wide in surprise as she sat between him and Aemond.

So she was Moongeist— that is why it felt so familiar. She, no, they drew their lips back in a growl, hackles raised. Back off, back off, back off! They screamed, snapping at anyone who got too close.

‘That wolf has gone mad!’

‘Is that the prince’s intended?’

‘Yes, but not the prince that’s holding her.’

‘How wanton.’

They panted heavily, still feeling a deep rage within them. Everyone was too close, too close– the sounds of the gala drowned out as they looked to the upper windows of the ballroom. A familiar sight to behold– the cream colored blur and siren’s song of a voice.

A beige and cream colored barn owl sat atop the eave of the window, staring down at them with wide eyes.

‘Now you know, dear Shera.’

–

Shera awoke later, still cold as ice. She was back in her own body but still felt the remnants of itching fervor from being in Moongeist– not ‘in’, it had a word. Warg. She heard children’s tales about it, how a man can enter the mind of a beast and become one with it.

She glanced around the room. Aemond was pacing– she was in… her chambers. Jaw clenched, she sat up from the settee with surprising vigor.

“Shera–” Aemond sputtered, stopping his pacing.

“Hush, come with me,” she grabbed his wrist and strung him along, feeling more lively than she had in ages. Moongeist padded alongside them, hugging to her leg just in case.

She led them down to the weirwood, not letting go of her grip on him.

“You cannot lie to me, Aemond Targaryen, not here. Do you see that?” she gestures to the face etched in the bark of the Great Oak– staring back at the two of them.

How silly they must look.

“Do… not… lie to me,” Shera pleaded. She approached him, her hand skimming the edge of his jaw. He was so warm, always so warm– he permeated through the cold she always felt. “You can lie to everyone else. Keep… those walls up and don’t let anyone in. But not… not to me. Never to me,” she was trembling with the weight of what she was asking, her fingers drumming against his skin. “Did you mean it? Did… you mean it? You want me here with you?”

He stilled her by covering her hand with his own. “I wouldn’t–,” Aemond murmured, his free hand coming up to unhook his eyepatch. Her breath hitched as he discarded it. The moonlight caught the concaves of the gem first, expanding over the flecks of blue, all shades of it.

A sapphire.

She palmed the matching stones on her mysteriously gifted choker. “You… you… your eye…” Shera stumbled slightly, her knees wobbling beneath her.

Aemond held her upright with one arm, slung around her waist. “Hm?” he asked in return, a playful lilt to his voice– something only reserved for her.

“It’s… it’s blue!” she squeaked, pulling his face closer to her, observing with the same scrutiny that she had when they were sketching together. “And… and…” she kept babbling, tugging at her gifted choker. “And this? You… you git! You… cad! Oh, you’re incorrigible.” her words were inflammatory in nature but she… was laughing– as much as she could anyways. It was a quiet giggle, like the soft trill of a small bell.

It made Aemond chuckle in return. The two of them soon devolved into a fit of joviality. “I quite like you in blue, Shera. In my color,” he leaned down to whisper in the shell of her ear. “I had to let Jacaerys know… exactly…” he punctuated each word as his hand made a home on her jaw, inching closer to her lips. “... where and to whom,” his thumb pulled down her bottom lip. “You belong.”

Every nerve in her body was on fire. She’s never felt so warm, so hot in her life. Is this what it felt like to be a Targaryen? Gods, it was fucking stifling.

“And… to be clear,” he continued. “You belong here. With me.”

Her mouth parted, she was barely breathing. She… she wanted… she wanted to kiss him. She wanted him, more than anything she’d wanted before. She was mad; this was mad. Even on shaking legs, she pushed herself on her tippy-toes, pressing their lips together.

She felt… elated. More than elated, it felt like she was flying, skimming the clouds like a dragon, wings spread… free.

Aemond melted into her right away, pulling her closer as they melded together. His tongue swiped against her lower lip as he caressed her so softly, so gently– more gentle than she could ever imagine him being.

This was the first time she ever took something– something she wanted, and she got it. It was selfish, she knew– selfish and dangerous and reckless and just… hers. This was hers. He was hers. “Mine,” she whispered as they caught their respectful breaths. “If… I’m yours, then… you are mine, right?” she clarified, a bit less confident than her previous possessive declaration. “Quite right, little wolf.” he hummed, pressing another kiss to her temple.

In a brazen show of exuberance, she captured his lips once more.

Things were forgotten. Namely, everything that wasn’t them in this moment. Their individual turmoils, their shared despair. All notions of her mysterious collapse, Aemond’s scuffle with Jacaerys, Shera’s impending marriage to the said prince, tensions rising between two sides of a family–

This was for them.

The only time that either of them had taken anything for themselves in the last ten years.

a/n: ART IN THIS CHAPTER BY @lonelymagpies who, as always, was LOVELY to work with! they captured the scene perfectly.

#aemond fic #aemond x oc #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #house of the dragon aemond #prince aemond #aemond one eye #hotd fanfic #aemond fanfic #aemond fandom #my writing #banshees lament #aemond targaryen smut #aemond smut #hotd #house of the dragon #aemond x original female character #aemond x ofc

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burst-of-iridescent · 9 months

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Hi! Just a quick message to say that I love your analysis on Katara and Zuko and their dynamics with each other. I personally love how you place the emphasis on them having their journey towards growth together, but an individual one as well. I've only started watching AtlA two years ago, but reading your remarks during my second rewatch of the show made me appreciate the nuances of their relationship and arc more <3 I was just wondering, because you've made some good Zutara fic recs in the past, which Zutara long fic would you absolutely recommend? Thank you so much!

aww, thank you so much! i haven't read long zutara fics in quite some time actually but off the top of my head here are my favs:

the color of the stars by bluenebulae: yes i know i've recommended this fic a hundred times already but i will continue to do so bc it's SO GOOD. this is a book 3 canon divergence where zutara get captured together on DoBS and need to find their way back to the gaang together and it is just everything.

tempest in a teacup by akaVertigo: if you've been around in zutara fandom for a while, you probably already know this fic but i couldn't not include it. this is an au where katara ends up in the fire nation as a child after her mother's death and she and zuko grow up together. fire nation katara AUs do make me a little suspicious because they can easily be done wrong, but this one does it right and the writing is absolutely stunning so trust me when i say you won't be let down.

zuko's tiny dilemma by boogum: book 1 au where zuko is accidentally turned into a 6 year old (with his 16 year old consciousness) and the gaang ends up having to take care of him. i know that sounds like a weird set-up for romantic zutara but i promise nothing gross happens. it's actually a very funny, sweet and wholesome fic so i strongly encourage that you give it a chance!

the worst prisoner by emletishfish: book 1 au where sokka accidentally kidnaps zuko during the events of the blue spirit, and shenanigans and zutara ensue. this is the funniest zutara fic i have ever read AND there are two more installments in the series so you will be good to go for a long time.

(i couldn't find this fic in my bookmarks at first because my browser logged me out of ao3 and i nearly had a breakdown thinking it was gone forever and texted my friends in full panic mode, so that should tell you how much i adore it.)

once around the sun by eleventy7: i would be deeply remiss in offering fic recommendations if i didn't mention one of the most goated zutara fics of all time. i'll warn you now that though this fic has a happy ending, you should absolutely check the tags or you will be stabbed in the heart halfway through just like i was. the pain is definitely worth it, though.

i hope you enjoy reading these! <3

#zutara #zutara fanfiction #zutara fic recommendations #zutara asks

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wangxianficfinder · 6 months

Text

Fic Finder

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1. Looking for a smut fic I remember reading. WWX was testing an invisibility talisman and ended up in the jingshi in time to watch LWJ masturbating, and rode him after he fell asleep. LWJ woke up and made WWX get rid of the invisibility after a bit. I think it was a roleplay between the two but I'm not fully sure

FOUND! Clinomania by malkinmalkout (E, 6k, wangxian, Voyeurism, Masturbation, Somnophilia, misuse of talismans, PWP, Riding, Oral Sex, binding, Happy Ending, canon typical non-con)

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2. Hi! So I'm looking for this one fic, I remember that it was set in post-canon & Wangxian go to help this village, I remember that the Juniors (all four) followed them without their knowledge & the village had a barrier preventing people from leaving, the village had a curse where they got to see their close-ones negative memories, the juniors learnt of what actually happened to WWX & the villain turns out to be a "god" like on Dafan, it had 4 chapter (I think) & was finished. @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

FOUND? Down comes the night by danegen (E, 67k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Canon Era, inspired by From, Horror, Sharing a Room, POV LWJ, no jiangs, a whole village of OCs, tiny mention of past wwx/omc, Happy Ending)

FOUND? unhappy stories with happy endings by Last_for_Hell (M, 30k, WangXian, Memories, Memory Fic, Kinda, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, sexual content maybe, References to Torture, PTSD, Characters Watching Their Series, kinda, but not entirely, very light consensual non-consent)

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3. good day! 😊 I read this fic before and I know that I've bookmarked it but I can't find it in the list. So the story is after wwx fell, baoshan sanren and lan yi rescued him, nursed him back to health, and waited for him to wake up. I remember that when he woke up, they also taught him cultivation (he got a new sword). He also hid his face (i think he also wore a different name and different voice(?)). There's a yi city scene where xxc asked them who they were because he cant see, then bssr is also with them at that time. thank yoooooou! 💓💓💓

FOUND! Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian's Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts)

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4. hi, I hope you can help me find this fic I've been looking for, I'm sorry I don't really remember much, just that WWX can cook non-spicy food but he does it on purpose, it might have been because of his time in the streets? or because someone would take his food? (maybe JC???)

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5. I cannot for the life of me remember anything else about the fic but I think it was cql based with lwj as chief cultivator? wwx returned to cloud recesses and the first thing he did was beat someone up for saying horrible things about lwj. I can't remember if it was multichapter or not so it might have been in the middle of a longfic?

FOUND? 🔒make this chaos count by devotedbones (E, 15k, WangXian, Post-Canon, CQL Compliant, canon compliant until the very last scene of episode 50, Getting Together, First Time, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Chief Cultivator LWJ, a flute used as a melee weapon, Fist Fights, Gossip, Self-Worth Issues, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Mentions of Canonical Abuse, Minor Misunderstandings, [podfic] make this chaos count, by devotedbones by inkpens)

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6. this may as well be an itmf for its general nature, but it's actually a ficfinder! except. i only remember a single detail LMAO, and it's that wwx and lwj consider all four juniors to be their children, blood relation be damned. I'm so sorry i have literally nothing else to go on 😅 i think there's a similar theme in 'tragedy is not the end' specifically with zizhen, but not the exact detail im looking for... thank you for the help!

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7. Hi, first of all I want to thank y'all for the hard work, and I wanted to know if a fic has been deleted or if anyone has it, I don't remember the name but it was a time travel fic where Qishan Wen win the sunshot campaign and asked for war prizes (?) Zewu-Jun goes instead of his brother, Yanli is alive, they all have them captive, Meng Yao betrayed them and ultimately sided with the Wen's who were winning the war, and I think no one remembers Wei Wuxian, something like that, it would be great if someone could help! Thanks so much 🩷🩷

FOUND? The Way It Wasn’t by KouriArashi (T, 72k, WangXian, XiYao, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fix-It, (eventually haha), Slow Build, Family Feels, Moral Ambiguity, Eventual Happy Ending)

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8. Hi!!! Its me again!! Thanknyiu so much again!!! This time im looking for a time travel fic with lan qiren as the timentraveller. Pretty sure him and wen ruohan travelled together and MAYBE involved with each other??? Im not so sure but i do know that lan qiren time travelled. Sorry its not much thats all i remember hehe @sirius-bus1ness

might be one of Nirejseki's works. They wrote several on that subject (including in a big anthology work, so finding it might take some time)

FOUND? Cursed Couple by shorimochi (M, 121k, LQR/WRH, CSSR/WCZ, Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Out of Character)

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9. Hello, I am looking for a fic but I only remember a scene from it

It was a fic wwhere wwx died and there was a scene where a-yuan was crying while laying above wwx's grave in the burial mounds. Thank you!

FOUND? To Offer a Heart by WhiteCrane (M, 111k, wangxian, major character death, Sad WWX, Hurt WWX, YLLZ WWX, soft wangxian, Cinnamon Roll WN, WWX Whump, WQ is a good sister, WN is a good brother, everybody loves wwx, yunmeng siblings, Triggers, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst with a Happy Ending, Taking care of WWX, Give WWX a break, Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Changing Perspectives, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Grief/Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Getting Together, Redemption, Sibling Bonding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Parent-Child Relationship, Sad and Sweet, Tragedy, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF JYL, BAMF WQ, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Everyone Needs A Hug, WIP)

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10. Hi Mods (＾◡＾) I really hope that you can help me find some fics I've been looking for! (＾◡＾) if you can't that's ok, if you can then many thanks in advance! y'all are awesome!

A) this one is set during CR studies, and wangxian go on a date? in Caiyi and I think WWX gets emotional about something they are talking about? and I know they hug, and WWX don't want to let go.

B) this one wangxian gets married, WWX marries into the Lan, and there are a lot of rules specifically for married people/how to be in a relationship, I'm pretty sure that is a very big part of the story

10A)

FOUND! 🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 712k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) The scene described sounds like something that happens pretty early on

10B)

NOT FOUND! Into the Oubliette by Ruixx (M, 124k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, graphic depictions of violence, underage, Growing Up, Fix-It of Sorts, Arranged Marriage, Time Travel, Sibling Bonding, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Canon Divergence, Light BDSM, Breathplay, WWX protection squad, Sunshot Campaign, War, Politics, Hostage JYL, Visions, LXC Redemption, general LWJ, Internal Sect Politics, Good Uncle LQR, Lan OCs, No Golden Core Transfer, Empire Building, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence)

NOT FOUND! seldom all they seem by Fahye (E, 25k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, or rather Arranged Betrothal, followed by Weapons-Grade Thirst)

FOUND? Wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave by failedcharismacheck (M, 15k, WIP, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Protective LWJ, Domestic Fluff, Kissing, POV LWJ, Hair Brushing, Implied Sexual Content, soft horny)

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11. Noncon tw. Looking for a fic where when the wens burn lotus pier, they threaten to rape yanli but Wei Wuxian offers himself instead. So the wen soldiers rape Wei Wuxian in front of the Jiang sect,l. Yanli cries

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12. Looking for a specific fix where Wei Ying is dead and the sects come together to watch through his memories and end up finding out for selfless he was. @aviidaviibiitchboii

FOUND! Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 250k, WIP, WangXian, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Heavy Angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon-Typical Violence, Self-Worth Issues)

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13. Hi, I'm looking for a modern au where Wei Ying is a grad student in an orchestra and A-yuan is dropped off at his door by his cousin Mo Xuanyu. Wei Ying and Lan Zhan get together while caring for A-yuan and end up getting married. A-yuan has a fear of airports in this fic because of his abandonment issues. This was on AO3 but I can't seem to find it. @amindonbreak

FOUND! The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental baby acquisition, Kid fic, Green card marriage (but not really), Slow Burn, Endless Pining, Happy ending, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, Translation into Русский: Самый Простой Путь Вперёд (The Simplest Way Forward) by grand_R, Spanish Translation, Turkish translation )

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14. hello! im looking for specific fic, where after burial mounds wwx thinks he's dead. instead of joining sunshot campain he storms nightless city and kills all cultivators without anyone knowing it was him (exept meng yao who survived but is wounded)

he then "haunts" yumeng for a while until he runs into wen quing and takes wens to burrial mounds

eventually ppl find out and together with meng yao they outsmart jgs to pardon all wens @chellsky

I can't find 14, but I do remember reading it; they ended up pretending Wen Qing was the one controling the dead and killing the Wen, and they faked her death

FOUND! can't find a way home by KouriArashi (M, 109k, WangXian, XiYao, XuanLi, ChengQing, Canon Divergence, Angst, Family, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Politics, Family Feels, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Developing Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical political bullshit, Mental Health Issues, Eventual Happy Ending, Descriptions of suicide, (caused by dark magic))

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15. Hello! I'm looking for a fic where Sizhui's bio parents are alive and come to Cloud Recesses looking for him (post-canon, iirc)

Hello! I'm #15 from the latest fic finder. I'm quite sure that the fic was on ao3. It may have been inspired from the angstymdzsthoughts posts but it was a proper fic posted on ao3

NOT FOUND! This Post by angstymdzsthoughts Mad idea, could 15 be from angstymdzsthoughts?

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16. Hi! I was reading a really interesting story about LWJ being cursed and WWX helping him and I lost it! Arg, now I'm so curious to know how it ends, I hope you can help me!

The story is about LWJ being cursed with a change in his private body parts. (The curse changes his p to a v). Then WWX notices this and decide to help LWJ and the way to revert the curse is that LWJ has to have an org@sm.

Can you help me? I'm dying to know how to continues!! 🤗🤗 @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! Coming Back to Yourself by acernor (E, 21k, wangxian, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Oral Sex, Pining, Gender or Sex Swap, Vaginal Sex)

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17. Hi! Looking for a fic wherein wangxian married and suddenly Mo Xuanyu woke up again in his body, he fell in love with Lan Wangji but Lan Wangji just ignore or formal with him. Mo Xuanyu heartbroken tried to bring back Wei Wuxian Soul on his body

I feel like this might be in the angstymdzs collection, since I think it's was inspired by one of those asks?

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18. Kind of random, but I’m trying to find a fic I read awhile ago that featured hagfish? My memory of it is kind of vague, it was a college au and wwx was some sort of biology major i think and there were hagfish. Compelled to read it again because of hagfish reasons.

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19. Hello! I'm looking for a specific fic which I've seen in a few people's bookmarks but for some reason neglected to even mark for later. It's a modern AU where LWJ is looking for a pet sitter for his bunnies and is recommended WWX's pet sitting/walking venture (no dogs allowed ofc). Can you help? 🐇 @linderel

FOUND! A Single Note by airinshaw (E, 19k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub)

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20. I search a fic where Jiang Cheng tries to ask Lan Xichen to marry him and Lan Xichen is super offended by it. Nie Huaisang may have done something to make JC fail even more in his proposal.

FOUND? To Take A Wife- Or Perhaps A Husband by Admiranda (T, 2k, one-sided LXC/JC, one-sided NHS/JC, JC's canonical homophobia, JC's canonical inability to get married, Decides to solve his problems with spite, not JC friendly, We all love NHS in this household, JC's canonical blind spots, Post-Canon, JC's canonical classism)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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yournameloveskpop · 1 month

Text

Reconnecting

Paring: Yeonjun x reader

Style: SFW, Friendship, Romance, childhood sweethearts, fluffy

Word count: 10,114

Warning: cheating

Y/N and Yeonjun's story was one of those rare, beautiful narratives that begin in childhood. They were the kind of sweethearts whose love seemed destined, transcending time and distance. When Yeonjun returned from America after two years, it was as if they had never been apart. Their connection was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of affection that didn't need words. Their families saw it, their friends saw it, and eventually, they saw it too. It wasn't long before they officially became a couple, much to the delight of everyone around them.

Their relationship was the epitome of young love – innocent, pure, and full of promise. When Yeonjun became a trainee at BigHit, their bond was put to the test. The rigorous training schedule, early mornings, and late nights began to take a toll on their time together. As Yeonjun's debut approached, their meetings became increasingly rare. Despite the challenges, their love remained steadfast. But Y/N understood the magnitude of his dream and the sacrifices it entailed.

"I remember our first date after you became a trainee," Y/N said one day, stirring her coffee absentmindedly. They were in their favorite café, a cozy little spot where they had spent countless hours talking about their dreams and future.

Yeonjun looked at her, the weight of unspoken words hanging between them. "I was so nervous that day. I kept checking my watch, worried I'd be late."

Y/N chuckled, a bittersweet smile on her lips. "You were late. Fifteen minutes. But I didn't mind. I was just happy to see you."

He reached across the table, taking her hand in his. "I've always hated how this dream of mine took me away from you."

"It's your passion, Yeonjun. It's what makes you who you are. I've always admired that about you," Y/N replied, her voice tinged with sadness.

They sat in comfortable silence, each lost in their thoughts. It was Yeonjun who broke the silence. "I think about us, you know. About how different things might have been if I wasn't training all the time."

Y/N squeezed his hand gently. "I think about it too. But then I see you on stage, living your dream, and I can't help but feel proud."

Yeonjun's eyes met hers, a mixture of gratitude and sorrow in his gaze. "But at what cost? I miss so many things, Y/N. I miss us."

The unspoken truth hovered in the air – their paths were diverging, and they both knew it. "Sometimes love means letting go," Y/N whispered, her voice barely audible.

Yeonjun's grip tightened. "Is that what we're doing? Letting go?"

"It's not giving up, Yeonjun. It's about wanting the best for each other, even if that means being apart," Y/N explained, her heart aching with each word.

Tears brimmed in Yeonjun's eyes. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't," Y/N assured him, her own tears threatening to fall. "We'll always be a part of each other's lives, just in a different way."

They talked for hours, reminiscing about the past and pondering the future. As they walked out of the café, Yeonjun stopped and turned to her. "Can I do something? One last time?"

Y/N nodded, understanding his unspoken request. They shared a long, lingering kiss, a culmination of all their years together, filled with love, sorrow, and unyielding affection. It was a goodbye, but also a promise – a promise to cherish the memories, to support each other, and to remain connected, no matter where life took them.

And that was a promise they intended to keep. Six years had swiftly passed since Yeonjun and Y/N decided to part ways. In that time, Yeonjun had soared to great heights with Tomorrow X Together. Alongside Beomgyu, Soobin, Taehyun, and Hueningkai, he lived a life many could only dream of, filled with music, tours, and adoring fans. Y/N, meanwhile, had carved her own path, establishing herself as a successful interior designer, her work receiving acclaim for its creativity and elegance.

Despite the whirlwind of their careers, Yeonjun and Y/N remained close friends, keeping their promise. They would catch up over coffee, sharing stories and laughing over memories. Their texts and calls were a comforting constant, a bridge across their busy lives. Through Yeonjun, Y/N had also grown close to the other TXT members, who welcomed her like family.

Yeonjun, fully immersed in his idol life, had stayed single, his heart still tender from his split with Y/N. He had tried dating others, but none could fill the space Y/N left in his heart. Y/N, on the other hand, had moved on and was now in a long-term relationship. Yeonjun tried to be happy for her, but deep down, he couldn't shake off his feelings.

"Yeonjun, you okay, man?" Beomgyu asked during one of their late-night hangouts, noticing his distant gaze.

Yeonjun shrugged, forcing a smile. "Yeah, just thinking about old times, you know?"

Soobin chimed in, "We all have our what-ifs and might-have-beens. But you've got us, and you've got music. That's a lot."

Yeonjun nodded, grateful for his bandmates' support. "It's just... seeing Y/N happy with someone else. It's harder than I thought."

Taehyun patted his back, understandingly. "It's natural to feel that way. But you'll find someone who's right for you, Yeonjun. Just give it time."

Hueningkai added, "And until then, you've got five brothers right here."

Their conversation was a small comfort to Yeonjun, but the unease about Y/N's boyfriend lingered. He had met the guy a few times and couldn't shake off a certain off vibe. However, Y/N seemed happy, and he didn't want to cast a shadow over her happiness.

A few days later, Yeonjun and the TXT members were at an event where they bumped into Y/N and her boyfriend. The tension was palpable, but they all exchanged pleasantries.

"Yeonjun, you guys were amazing at the concert last week!" Y/N exclaimed, her eyes shining with genuine pride.

"Thanks, Y/N. Glad you could make it," Yeonjun replied, his heart skipping a beat at her smile.

Her boyfriend, standing a bit aloof, added somewhat stiffly, "Yeah, you guys are quite the performers."

The conversation flowed, but Yeonjun couldn't help but notice the subtle dismissive glances Y/N's boyfriend gave when she talked about her work. He bit back his concern, not wanting to cause a scene.

As the evening progressed, the TXT members noticed the dynamics too. "Something's off with that guy," Beomgyu whispered to Yeonjun.

"I know," Yeonjun replied quietly. "But it's not our place to say anything."

After the event, Yeonjun couldn't shake off his concerns. He decided to meet Y/N for coffee, hoping to subtly check if everything was okay.

"Y/N, how's work? Your last project looked amazing," Yeonjun started, as they sat in their usual café.

Y/N's face lit up. "It's been great! But, you know, it's a lot of work..."

Her voice trailed off, and Yeonjun sensed a hint of sadness. "Is everything okay? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Y/N hesitated, then sighed. "It's just... sometimes I feel like he doesn't really support my career. He thinks it's a hobby, not something serious."

Yeonjun listened, his heart aching for her. He wanted to tell her she deserved better, but he held back, not wanting to overstep.

"Y/N, you're incredibly talented. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise," he said sincerely.

"Thanks, Yeonjun. It means a lot," she replied, a small smile returning to her face.

Their conversation continued, with Yeonjun carefully offering support without overstepping. As they parted ways, he couldn't help but feel a mix of concern and lingering affection. Y/N entered the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, feeling a mix of relief and apprehension. He greeted her with a casual kiss, his demeanor friendly but somewhat detached.

"How was your day with your idol friend?" he asked, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

Y/N smiled, trying to brush off the slight edge in his voice. "It was good. Yeonjun's doing really well. We just caught up over coffee."

He nodded, seemingly uninterested, and adjusted his tie. "I'm heading out with some colleagues for dinner and drinks. Got to keep up the networking, you know?"

Y/N observed his sharp suit and polished appearance. "Sure, have a good time," she said, masking her disappointment with a smile. After he left, she settled into her evening routine, indulging in a long bath and some of her favorite cheesy romance movies.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun was out with his friends, Wooyoung and Chanbin. They were in high spirits, enjoying the night air and the buzz of the city. After a few drinks, their conversation flowed easily, filled with laughter and playful banter.

As they strolled down the bustling street, Yeonjun's eyes suddenly locked onto a familiar figure. It was Y/N's boyfriend, unmistakable in his suit. He was with a group of guys, but what caught Yeonjun's attention was the girl sitting on his lap – and it definitely wasn't Y/N.

Yeonjun stopped dead in his tracks, causing Wooyoung and Chanbin to bump into him.

"Hey, what's up?" Wooyoung asked, looking in the direction of Yeonjun's gaze.

"Do you see that guy over there?" Yeonjun pointed subtly. "That's Y/N's boyfriend."

Chanbin squinted. "Isn't that... Wait, who's that girl with him?"

Yeonjun felt a surge of anger and concern. "I need to find out what's going on."

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Wooyoung cautioned. "We don't want to start any trouble."

"I just... I can't let Y/N be in the dark about this," Yeonjun insisted, his voice firm.

The three cautiously approached the group, trying to remain inconspicuous. Yeonjun's heart raced as he observed the scene before him. Y/N's boyfriend was laughing and chatting with the girl on his lap, seemingly oblivious to the implications.

Wooyoung placed a hand on Yeonjun's shoulder. "Man, this is messed up. But are you sure you want to get involved?"

Before Yeonjun could answer, the group noticed their presence. Y/N's boyfriend looked up, his expression changing from amusement to surprise, and then to discomfort.

"Yeonjun, what a surprise," he said, his voice edged with forced casualness as he gently nudged the girl off his lap.

Yeonjun's gaze was steely. "I didn't expect to see you here... or like this."

The boyfriend stood up, brushing off his suit. "It's not what it looks like. We're just having some fun."

"Does Y/N know about your 'fun'?" Yeonjun asked, his tone icy.

The boyfriend scoffed. "Y/N doesn't need to know everything I do."

Chanbin interjected, "Dude, that's not cool. If you respect her, she should know."

The boyfriend rolled his eyes. "What are you, her guardians? Mind your own business."

Yeonjun took a deep breath, trying to control his rising anger. "She deserves better than this."

The boyfriend smirked. "And you think you're the one to tell her?"

Yeonjun didn't respond. He knew any further conversation was pointless. He turned to leave, Wooyoung and Chanbin following.

"Yeonjun, wait," the boyfriend called out. "Don't make a big deal out of this."

Yeonjun stopped but didn't turn around. "She'll hear it from me," he said firmly and walked away.

The rest of the night was a blur for Yeonjun. His mind was consumed with thoughts of Y/N and how to tell her what he'd seen. He didn't want to hurt her, but he knew she deserved the truth.

The next morning, with a heavy heart, Yeonjun called Y/N. "We need to talk. It's important," he said, his voice serious.

Y/N's voice was filled with concern. "Yeonjun, what's wrong?"

"Can we meet at the café? It's about your boyfriend," Yeonjun replied, his tone somber.

"I'll be there," Y/N said, a hint of worry in her voice.

As Yeonjun waited at the café, he rehearsed what he would say, knowing that no matter how he phrased it, the truth would hurt. Y/N entered the café, her eyes brightening as she spotted Yeonjun. She was pleasantly surprised to see not only him but also her favorite drink waiting on the table. It felt like a luxury to meet up more than once a month, a rarity given their busy schedules.

Yeonjun, seeing her cheerful smile, felt a pang of guilt. He knew the news he had to share would dampen her spirits, making the task at hand even more daunting.

"Hey, Yeonjun, what's up?" Y/N greeted him with her usual warmth. "This is a nice surprise!"

Yeonjun managed a smile, though it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I thought we could use some extra time to catch up."

Y/N's brows furrowed slightly, sensing something amiss. "Is everything okay? You mentioned it was about my boyfriend."

He took a deep breath, steeling himself. "Did you know your boyfriend was out last night?"

"Yeah, he told me he was going out with his workmates for a meal and drinks," she replied, unaware of where the conversation was leading.

Yeonjun's frustration grew, knowing her boyfriend had only told her half the truth. "Did he come back after the night?"

She shook her head. "No, he texted saying he'd stay at a mate's place, said it was closer."

Just as Yeonjun was about to reveal what he had witnessed, a familiar voice called out to them. Y/N's boyfriend approached the table, interrupting their conversation.

"Hey, love!" he greeted Y/N, leaning in for a kiss. Her face lit up at his arrival, unaware of the tension between the two men.

Yeonjun watched, his expression hardening, though he tried to keep his glare subtle. He was caught off guard by the boyfriend's sudden appearance and knew this wasn't the right moment to reveal the truth.

"Yeonjun, didn't expect to see you here," her boyfriend said, with a hint of surprise and discomfort.

"Just catching up," Yeonjun replied coolly, masking his emotions.

Y/N, oblivious to the undercurrents, smiled. "Yeah, it's been a while since we all hung out."

Her boyfriend nodded, his gaze flickering between Y/N and Yeonjun. "Well, I won't keep you. Just wanted to say hi before heading to work."

After a brief and somewhat awkward exchange, her boyfriend left. Y/N turned back to Yeonjun, her expression one of contentment.

Yeonjun wrestled with his conscience, debating whether to tell her now or wait for a more appropriate time. Seeing her so happy and unsuspecting made him hesitant. He decided to hold back, at least for the moment.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Y/N asked, sipping her drink.

Yeonjun forced a smile. "Just wanted to check in, see how you're doing. We should do this more often."

Y/N beamed. "I'd love that."

As Yeonjun and Y/N continued their conversation at the café, his mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. He wanted to protect Y/N from the hurtful truth he had witnessed, yet he knew keeping it from her wasn't right. The weight of his secret cast a shadow over their meeting, a sharp contrast to Y/N's evident happiness at seeing him two days in a row.

Yeonjun's thoughts were interrupted by Y/N's cheerful voice. "It's been really great catching up like this, Yeonjun. It feels like old times, doesn't it?"

He forced a smile, his heart heavy. "Yeah, it does. I've missed this."

After their time at the café, Yeonjun headed back to HYBE for practice, while Y/N left for a meeting with a client who was interested in her interior design services. The contrast between their moods couldn't have been starker. Y/N left feeling uplifted, while Yeonjun was burdened by the looming conversation he knew he had to have with her.

Upon entering the HYBE building, Yeonjun's mood was visibly dark. He stormed in, muttering under his breath, "I hate that guy," startling Soobin, Taehyun, and Hueningkai who were in the midst of a discussion.

"What's up with you, Yeonjun?" Soobin asked, concern evident in his tone.

Taehyun and Hueningkai also turned their attention to him, sensing that something was amiss.

"It's about Y/N's boyfriend," Yeonjun began, his voice tense. "I saw him last night at a bar... and he wasn't alone."

Beomgyu, who had been listening from a distance, joined the group. "What do you mean 'wasn't alone'?" he asked, his expression turning serious.

Yeonjun recounted the events of the previous night, how he'd seen Y/N's boyfriend with another girl sitting on his lap. His voice wavered as he spoke, revealing his inner turmoil. "It was clear that... what was happening wasn't innocent."

The members exchanged looks of shock and concern. "That's awful," Hueningkai said. "But what are you going to do about it?"

Yeonjun ran a hand through his hair, his frustration palpable. "I don't know. I want to tell Y/N, but I can't stand the thought of hurting her."

"So, you just keep it to yourself?" Taehyun questioned, his brows furrowing.

Yeonjun shook his head. "I can't do that either. She deserves the truth. But how do I break it to her without breaking her heart?"

Beomgyu leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. "Yeonjun, sometimes the truth hurts, but it's necessary. Maybe she needs to hear it, especially from someone she trusts like you."

Soobin added, "Yeah, but be gentle, man. This kind of news can be devastating."

Yeonjun felt a deep sense of regret. "I keep thinking, if only I hadn't agreed to break up with her all those years ago. She wouldn't be in this situation, dealing with someone who doesn't value her."

Hueningkai placed a comforting hand on Yeonjun's shoulder. "You can't blame yourself for her choices, Yeonjun. We all have our paths, and sometimes they take turns we don't expect."

The group continued to discuss the situation, offering Yeonjun advice and support. They all agreed that Y/N needed to know the truth, but the concern was how to convey it without causing her unnecessary pain.

The day gradually turned to evening, and Yeonjun's mind couldn't escape the thoughts of Y/N. He was facing a conversation that could irreversibly alter the course of their relationship. The secret he harbored, combined with his unresolved feelings, made the situation profoundly difficult.

Determined to confront the situation, Yeonjun sent a message to Y/N, asking to meet again soon. His tone was serious, hinting at the gravity of what he needed to discuss. Y/N, sensing the urgency, agreed to meet the following day.

That night, as Yeonjun lay in bed, he was besieged by memories of the time he and Y/N had spent together. Their history was rich with moments of joy and love, but now, a looming sense of heartache overshadowed those memories. He knew revealing the truth about her boyfriend was necessary, yet the thought of hurting her was almost unbearable.

The next morning, Yeonjun awoke with a renewed sense of purpose. He was resolved to tell Y/N everything he had witnessed. It wasn't just about being truthful; it was about protecting her from someone who didn't value her as she deserved. As he prepared for their meeting, he braced himself for the challenging conversation that lay ahead. To support his account, he invited Wooyoung and Chanbin, who had been present when he saw her boyfriend's indiscretion.

They arranged to meet at Y/N's studio. She was planning to close early that day to spend time with her boyfriend. As she stepped out, locking up the studio, her face broke into a warm smile upon seeing Yeonjun and his friends. There was a flutter in her heart, a feeling she hadn't experienced in years, especially since this was their third meeting in a single month.

"Yeonjun, and Wooyoung, Chanbin too! What brings you all here?" Y/N greeted them, her voice tinged with surprise and delight.

"Hey, Y/N," Yeonjun replied, his tone serious. "We need to talk about something important. Is now a good time?"

Y/N's smile faltered slightly, picking up on Yeonjun's solemn demeanor. "Sure, is everything okay?"

Yeonjun exchanged a glance with Wooyoung and Chanbin before responding. "It's about your boyfriend. There's something you need to know."

Confusion and concern washed over Y/N's face. "What about him?"

Yeonjun took a deep breath, his heart racing. "Last night, we saw him with someone else. It wasn't just a friendly meeting."

Y/N's expression turned to one of disbelief. "What do you mean? He was just out with his colleagues."

Chanbin stepped forward. "We were at the same place. He was... well, he wasn't alone. There was a girl with him, and they were quite close."

Wooyoung added, "We wouldn't say this if we weren't sure, Y/N. It didn't seem right, and we thought you should know."

Y/N looked from one face to another, searching for some sign that this was a misunderstanding. "Are you sure it was him?"

Yeonjun nodded solemnly. "Yes, we're sure. I wouldn't tell you this if I wasn't absolutely certain."

A mixture of emotions played across Y/N's face – confusion, hurt, disbelief. "I... I need to process this."

Yeonjun reached out, his voice gentle. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but I thought you deserved the truth."

Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes. "I need some time alone," she whispered, her voice breaking.

As Y/N walked away, a profound sense of sorrow enveloped Yeonjun. He watched her leave, her every step echoing the tumult of emotions he felt. Wooyoung and Chanbin stood beside him, their expressions mirroring the gravity of the moment.

The silence that followed was laden with tension and unspoken thoughts. Yeonjun, lost in his own turmoil, was brought back to reality by Chanbin's voice.

"Yeonjun, do you still have feelings for her?" Chanbin asked, his tone gentle yet probing.

Yeonjun turned to face his friends, his expression somber. "It's complicated," he began, his voice trailing off.

Wooyoung nudged him, "It's okay to admit it, you know. It's obvious to all of us. You still care about her, a lot."

Yeonjun let out a heavy sigh, his gaze fixed on the direction Y/N had gone. "Yes, I still care about her. After all these years, my feelings haven't changed. But it's not just about that. Today was about doing the right thing for her, regardless of how I feel."

Chanbin placed a reassuring hand on Yeonjun's shoulder. "You did the right thing, even though it was tough. But now, what will you do about your feelings?"

Yeonjun shook his head, a mix of resolve and uncertainty in his eyes. "Right now, it's not about me. Y/N needs space to process all of this. I just want her to be happy, even if it means we're not together."

Wooyoung looked at him, admiration and concern in his eyes. "That's very noble of you, but don't forget to take care of your own heart too, Yeonjun."

Yeonjun managed a small, sad smile. "Thanks, guys. I just hope she'll be okay."

As they slowly started walking away from the studio, the air around them felt heavier, filled with the complexity of emotions and the reality of the situation.

Chanbin spoke up, breaking the contemplative silence. "You know we're here for you, right? Whatever you need."

Yeonjun nodded in appreciation. "I know. Thank you. It means a lot."

Y/N wrestled with a storm of emotions as she made her way home. Yeonjun's revelation about her boyfriend's infidelity was a hard pill to swallow, especially since deep down, she had always harbored suspicions. Her boyfriend had a way of twisting situations, convincing her she was overthinking things whenever she raised concerns about his behavior. His dislike for Yeonjun had always been evident, but she had chosen to overlook it, seeking happiness in their relationship.

Yet now, with Yeonjun's words echoing in her mind, she felt a deep sense of betrayal. She had met her current boyfriend at an event where he seemed charming and they had hit it off well, but he was never Yeonjun. She had tried to move on, convincing herself that she could find love again with someone else.

Over time, she did grow to like him, maybe even love him. But Yeonjun's recent disclosure left her feeling more lost than ever. She still harbored strong feelings for Yeonjun, feelings that she couldn't just turn off.

The day had been long and draining, and now she wanted nothing more than to confront her boyfriend, seek the truth, and likely end things. As she entered the eerily quiet apartment, a sense of foreboding washed over her. He wasn't supposed to be working and had mentioned no plans to go out.

Wandering through the apartment, she was suddenly jolted by noises coming from the bedroom – unmistakable sounds that sent her heart plummeting. Pushing the door open, she was confronted with the sight she had feared: her boyfriend in bed with another woman.

The door banging open startled both her boyfriend and the other woman, who stared at Y/N in shock. Y/N stood there, her emotions a chaotic blend of disbelief, anger, and heartbreak.

Y/N's boyfriend scrambled for words, his voice a mixture of surprise and guilt. "Y/N, it's not what you think..."

Without a word, Y/N marched up to him and slapped him across the face, the sound echoing through the room. Her action left a red mark on his cheek, a physical manifestation of her anger and hurt.

Y/N's voice was cold, laced with disbelief. "Really? Because it looks exactly like you're cheating on me."

The woman in bed with him looked equally stunned and embarrassed, hastily gathering her things.

Y/N's boyfriend tried to approach her, his words a jumble of excuses and pleas. "Listen, Y/N, I can explain. It's not like that."

Y/N held up her hand, stopping him mid-sentence. "Save it. I don't want to hear any more lies. Yeonjun told me what he saw. I didn't want to believe it, but now..." Her voice trailed off, the hurt evident in her eyes.

Her boyfriend's expression shifted from panic to a mix of guilt and defiance. "Yeonjun? You're going to believe him over me?"

Y/N's resolve hardened. "Yes, I am. He's always been honest with me. More than I can say for you."

Tears streaming down her face, Y/N turned and ran out of the apartment, into the rainy night. She knew exactly where she needed to go – to someone she trusted, someone who had always been honest with her.

Arriving at the TXT apartment, drenched from the rain, her makeup smeared by tears, she knocked on the door. Inside, Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Taehyun, Soobin, and Hueningkai were watching TV, surprised by the late-night visitor.

Yeonjun went to answer the door, and his heart sank as he saw Y/N in her disheveled state. The moment she saw him, she stepped forward and embraced him tightly, wrapping her arms around his neck, seeking comfort in his presence.

"Yeonjun," she sobbed, her voice muffled against his shoulder. "You were right. I saw him with another girl."

Yeonjun, taken aback, gently wrapped his arms around her, offering a silent support. The other members, sensing the gravity of the situation, stood up, expressions filled with concern.

"What happened, Y/N?" Yeonjun asked softly, his voice filled with worry.

Through her tears, Y/N recounted what she had witnessed, her words punctuated by sobs. "I went home and found them together in our bed. I... I didn't know where else to go."

Yeonjun felt a surge of protective instinct. "It's okay, Y/N. You did the right thing coming here. We're here for you."

The other members nodded in agreement, their faces reflecting a mix of sympathy and support.

"Would you like to sit down? Do you need anything?" Beomgyu offered, his tone gentle.

Taehyun chimed in, "We can get you some dry clothes and something warm to drink."

Hueningkai added, "And if you need to talk, we're all here for you."

Soobin, who had been quiet, finally spoke. "You don't have to go through this alone, Y/N. We're your friends, and we'll help you through this."

Y/N looked up at Yeonjun, her eyes filled with gratitude and a deep, unspoken connection. In that moment, amidst the pain and turmoil, she felt a sense of safety and belonging.

Yeonjun led her to the couch, his arm around her shoulders. "You're safe here, Y/N. Take all the time you need."

Yeonjun handed Y/N some of his clothes, hoping they would fit her. She quietly accepted them and went off to take a shower, leaving the TXT members in the living room. Yeonjun sighed heavily and slumped back onto the couch, his mind racing with thoughts about what was to happen next. He was certain of one thing: he couldn't let Y/N go back to her apartment, at least not alone.

Maybe, he thought, she could stay here at the TXT apartment until she found her own place. It made sense. He decided he and Soobin would accompany her to collect her things, ensuring she wouldn't have to face her ex-boyfriend alone.

As he pondered these plans, a small part of him couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness. With her ex now out of the picture, this could mean more time with Y/N, possibly rekindling what they once had. The thought of them being together again lingered in his mind, bringing a faint smile to his face.

Beomgyu, sitting across from him, noticed the change in Yeonjun's demeanor. "Thinking about what's next, Yeonjun?" he asked, his tone light yet probing.

Yeonjun hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. I think Y/N should stay here for a while. And... well, I can't deny I'm glad she's here with us now."

Soobin, overhearing the conversation, joined in. "It's a good thing she has us, especially you. But, man, are you sure you're not getting your hopes up about getting back together?"

Yeonjun sighed, a mix of hope and caution in his voice. "I don't know, Soobin. Part of me wants that, but I also know this isn't the time for those thoughts. She's hurt and vulnerable."

Taehyun, who had been listening from a distance, added his perspective. "It's natural to feel that way, Yeonjun. But remember, Y/N is going through a lot right now. Whatever happens next, her feelings should come first."

Hueningkai piped up from the corner, "We all want what's best for Y/N. And if being here helps her, then that's what matters most."

Yeonjun nodded, appreciating his friends' insights. "You're right. Let's focus on helping her get through this. Anything else is for the future to decide."

The members nodded in agreement, each understanding the delicate balance of supporting a friend while acknowledging their own feelings.

After a while, Y/N emerged from the shower, looking a bit more composed, wearing Yeonjun's clothes which were slightly oversized on her. She managed a weak smile. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. And for the clothes, Yeonjun."

Yeonjun stood up, offering her a comforting smile. "Of course, Y/N. You're welcome to stay here as long as you need. Tomorrow, Soobin and I will go with you to get your things."

Y/N's eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, that means a lot. I just... I don't know what I would have done without all of you tonight."

The members gathered around, reassuring her. "We're your friends, Y/N. We're here for you," Soobin said, his tone warm and supportive.

Beomgyu added, "And if you need anything, just let us know. We've got your back."

Hueningkai smiled gently. "We're kind of like your knights in shining armor, right?"

Y/N let out a small, tired laugh, the tension in her slightly easing. "I guess you are."

Yeonjun, watching the exchange, felt a deep sense of protectiveness and care for Y/N. He knew the road ahead would be challenging for her, but he was determined to be there for her, to offer support and comfort.

As the night wore on, they all settled into a quiet evening, the members doing their best to lift Y/N's spirits. They watched a movie together, shared stories, and simply enjoyed each other's company.

Yeonjun kept stealing glances at Y/N, his heart aching to see her in pain yet filled with a sense of hope for what the future might hold. He knew that for now, being a friend was the most important role he could play in her life. The possibility of rekindled love was a distant thought, one that he tucked away for another day, another time.

As Y/N finally drifted off to sleep on the couch, Yeonjun covered her with a blanket, watching her sleep peacefully. The other members, seeing this, shared knowing looks but chose to remain silent. They all understood Yeonjun's feelings, but they also knew that right now, Y/N needed friendship more than anything else.

The quietude of the night enveloped the TXT apartment, each member retiring to their respective rooms, leaving Yeonjun and the sleeping Y/N in the living room. Eventually, Yeonjun, too, succumbed to sleep, his body slumped on the couch next to Y/N.

As morning light filtered through the windows, the other members emerged from their rooms, witnessing the peaceful scene of Yeonjun and Y/N asleep on the couch, Yeonjun's arm instinctively draped around her waist.

Y/N was the first to stir. She blinked sleepily, feeling the warmth of an arm around her. Turning slightly, she saw Yeonjun sleeping beside her. A faint, comforted smile graced her lips before she gently disentangled herself from his embrace, careful not to wake him.

Beomgyu, walking into the living room, chuckled softly. "Looks like Yeonjun turned into a guardian angel overnight."

Yeonjun, roused by the movement, slowly opened his eyes. "Morning," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

After a light-hearted breakfast where the members tried to lift Y/N's spirits, she, Soobin, and Yeonjun prepared to head back to her apartment to collect her belongings. Y/N was visibly anxious, a mix of determination and apprehension in her eyes.

Upon arriving at her apartment, they found her ex-boyfriend there, his expression darkening upon seeing Yeonjun. "What are you doing here?" he spat, his gaze fixed on Yeonjun.

Yeonjun maintained his composure. "We're just here to help Y/N collect her things."

The ex-boyfriend sneered, "Of course, it had to be you. You're the reason she's leaving, aren't you?"

Y/N stepped forward, her voice firm. "No, he's not the reason. You are. I saw you with her, remember?"

Soobin, trying to defuse the tension, interjected, "Let's just focus on getting Y/N's stuff, okay?"

They began to pack Y/N's belongings, Soobin taking special care to handle her design work and other important documents. The ex-boyfriend hovered nearby, a mix of anger and bitterness evident in his demeanor.

As Yeonjun packed some of Y/N's clothes into a suitcase, he glanced at her ex-boyfriend. "You know, it would've been better if you had been honest with her from the start."

The ex-boyfriend scoffed. "And what? Lose her to you? I knew she still had feelings for you. I wasn't about to let that happen."

Y/N, overhearing the conversation, sighed. "It wasn't about Yeonjun. It was about trust, which you broke."

Soobin, noticing the escalating tension, quickly stepped in. "Alright, we've got most of your things, Y/N. Let's get going."

They moved her belongings out of the apartment, the ex-boyfriend watching them with a sullen expression. Once everything was packed into the car, Y/N took a deep breath, a sense of closure washing over her.

As they drove away, Yeonjun glanced at Y/N in the rearview mirror. "You okay?"

Y/N nodded, her voice soft but steady. "Yeah, I am. Thanks to you and Soobin. I don't know what I would have done without you guys."

Soobin smiled from the passenger seat. "We're your friends, Y/N. That's what we're here for."

The car ride was filled with a comfortable silence, each lost in their thoughts. Y/N looked out the window, her mind a whirlwind of emotions, yet she felt a sense of relief and hope for a new beginning. Yeonjun focused on the road ahead, his thoughts lingering on Y/N and the uncertain future. But for now, he was content knowing she was safe and away from the hurt her ex-boyfriend had caused.

Weeks passed, and Y/N continued to stay at the TXT dorms. The members, concerned for her well-being, helped her look for a new place but also felt that she needed more time to heal mentally before venturing out on her own. They had become her support system, a group of friends who ensured she didn't feel alone during this tumultuous phase of her life.

Yeonjun, in particular, was a constant presence by her side. Despite his busy schedule with HYBE and various commitments with TXT, he always made time for Y/N. His care for her was evident, and it provided her with a sense of stability and comfort.

"Yeonjun, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me," Y/N said one evening as they sat in the living room, a gentle calmness enveloping the space.

Yeonjun smiled softly, "It's nothing, Y/N. We're all here for you. You're not just a friend; you're part of the TXT family now."

As Y/N gradually began to recover, the members made sure she wasn't confined to the dorms. They took her out with them, introducing her to their friends, showing her new places, and ensuring she experienced life outside the dormitory walls.

Soobin, while they were out for dinner one evening, remarked, "It's great to see you smiling more, Y/N. You seem to be getting back to your old self."

Y/N looked around the table at the faces of the members and their friends, a warm smile on her face. "I have all of you to thank for that. I've been feeling much better lately."

As time went by, Y/N's feelings for Yeonjun, which had never truly faded, began to resurface with renewed intensity. The care he showed her, the way he was always there for her, reignited the affection she had always held for him.

The other members couldn't help but notice the growing closeness between Yeonjun and Y/N. Their lingering glances, the way they sat closely next to each other, the subtle yet unmistakable signs of a deepening bond.

Beomgyu nudged Taehyun playfully one day as they observed Yeonjun and Y/N laughing together. "Looks like those two are getting closer by the day," he whispered.

Taehyun grinned, "Yeah, it's pretty obvious. But let's not say anything. They need to figure it out on their own."

Hueningkai, overhearing their conversation, added, "They both deserve happiness. It's nice to see them so comfortable with each other."

Y/N was aware of the glances and whispered conversations among the members, but she didn't mind. She was grateful for their support and the space they gave her and Yeonjun to navigate their feelings.

One evening, as they all sat around watching a movie, Y/N leaned slightly into Yeonjun, seeking comfort in his presence. He responded by draping an arm around her shoulders, a simple gesture that spoke volumes.

As the movie played on, Y/N looked up at Yeonjun, their eyes meeting in a moment of silent understanding. No words were needed; their shared glances conveyed the depth of their feelings.

The day Y/N received an offer for her own apartment marked a significant milestone. The apartment was quaint, boasting two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a spacious living room, ideal for her creative flair in interior design.

Excitedly sharing the news with the TXT members, Y/N couldn't hide her enthusiasm. "I can't wait to start decorating! I've got so many ideas for the place," she beamed.

Beomgyu, looking up from his phone, replied, "That sounds awesome, Y/N. It's going to be great seeing what you do with the space."

Yeonjun, although visibly saddened by the thought of her leaving, managed a supportive smile. "And it's close to your studio, right? Plus, our favorite café isn't far. We can still catch up for coffee."

Y/N nodded, her smile tinged with a hint of melancholy. "Yes, it's perfect. And I'd love to continue our coffee meetups, Yeonjun. They've meant a lot to me."

As moving day arrived, Yeonjun and Beomgyu volunteered to help Y/N with her belongings. They spent the day lifting, arranging, and setting up her new place, the atmosphere a mix of excitement and nostalgia.

After they finished moving the last of her boxes, they stood in the now furnished living room, taking in the new surroundings. Yeonjun looked around, then back at Y/N. "This place is really coming together. You're going to make it incredible, Y/N."

Y/N let out a contented sigh. "Yeah, it already feels like home. But I'm going to miss you guys, especially our random late-night chats."

Beomgyu, wiping his brow, chimed in, "We'll miss you too, but hey, we're just a short drive away. You're not getting rid of us that easily."

Yeonjun's gaze lingered on Y/N, a mix of emotions in his eyes. "Y/N, I just... I want you to know, you've become such an important part of our lives."

Feeling a surge of emotions, Y/N stepped closer to Yeonjun. "And you all have been mine. Especially you, Yeonjun."

Yeonjun opened his arms, and Y/N stepped into his embrace. They held each other tightly, neither wanting to be the first to let go. Yeonjun's arms wrapped around her with a sense of protectiveness and care.

Beomgyu watched from the sidelines, a knowing smile on his face. He could see the deep bond that had formed between Yeonjun and Y/N, a connection that went beyond words.

As they finally parted, Yeonjun held onto Y/N's hands for a moment longer. "Remember, you're always welcome back at the dorm, anytime."

Y/N nodded, her eyes glistening. "Thank you, Yeonjun, for everything. I won't forget how much you've all helped me."

Beomgyu, sensing the moment, clapped his hands together. "Alright, how about we celebrate Y/N's new place with dinner? My treat!"

Yeonjun and Y/N laughed, the mood lightening. "Sounds like a plan, Beomgyu," Y/N said, her spirits lifted.

As they drove back to the TXT apartment, the night was quiet, the roads almost empty. Beomgyu's question lingered in the air, a thoughtful expression on his face. "So, childhood sweethearts to best friends to boyfriend and girlfriend to just friends again, all because of the idol life and Y/N's dream?"

Yeonjun glanced at Beomgyu, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Yeah, it's been quite a journey. We've both had to make sacrifices for our dreams. It's never been easy."

Beomgyu nodded understandingly. "But you still care about her, don't you?"

Yeonjun sighed, "I do, more than I probably should. But I'm worried she doesn't feel the same way anymore. A lot has changed since we were together."

Beomgyu chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Are you kidding me? We've all seen the way you two look at each other. Y/N still loves you too, man. I think it's time for you two to get back together again. You've both followed your dreams and succeeded. It's time to follow your heart now."

Yeonjun remained silent for a moment, contemplating Beomgyu's words. "You really think she still feels that way?"

"Absolutely," Beomgyu replied with confidence. "The way she talks about you, the way she looks at you. It's obvious, Yeonjun. You both just need to take that step."

Yeonjun pondered this, the idea slowly taking root. "Maybe you're right. But I don't want to rush into anything. I want to make sure it's the right time for both of us."

Beomgyu smiled, placing a reassuring hand on Yeonjun's shoulder. "That's fair. Just don't wait too long, okay? Sometimes, you just have to take a chance."

Yeonjun nodded, a small smile forming on his lips. "Thanks, Beomgyu. I'll think about it."

Y/N sat slumped on her couch in her new apartment, her mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. The dinner with Beomgyu and Yeonjun had been enjoyable, but it also brought a flood of memories and feelings to the surface. She reflected on her life, particularly her relationship with Yeonjun. Despite the twists and turns, it was clear that the bond they shared as childhood sweethearts still held strong.

She couldn't help but regret their decision to split up. They had remained strong as a couple even with Yeonjun's demanding schedule during his training days. She wondered why she had thought a breakup was the best option for them. Their time apart, especially after her breakup with her ex, and the constant support from Yeonjun and TXT, had only solidified her feelings. She realized that, in trying to let each other pursue their dreams, they might have let go of something truly special.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun was also in a reflective mood. He made it a point to keep up with their coffee meetups, a ritual that had become a highlight of his days. Despite the exhaustion from his packed schedule, he was determined to make time for Y/N. He understood now more than ever the importance of balancing his career with his personal life, a lesson he wished he had learned earlier.

One evening, during one of their coffee meetups, Yeonjun shared his upcoming tour plans with Y/N. "We've got an American and Asian tour lined up. It's going to be hectic, and I'll be away for a while," he said, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Y/N smiled reassuringly. "That sounds amazing, Yeonjun. I'm really happy for you. Your hard work is paying off."

Yeonjun nodded, his gaze lingering on her. "Thanks, Y/N. But I'll miss our coffee times. I'll miss... well, I'll miss you."

Y/N reached across the table, her hand lightly touching his. "I'll miss you too. But this is your dream, Yeonjun. I'll be here, cheering you on."

As they continued talking, Yeonjun made a silent promise to himself. After the tour, he would confess his feelings to Y/N. He couldn't keep his emotions hidden any longer. The time apart would be hard, but it solidified his resolve to be honest about his feelings.

The tour was a whirlwind of performances, travel, and little sleep. Despite the hectic schedule, Yeonjun often found himself thinking of Y/N. He would send her messages and pictures from the tour, keeping her updated and feeling connected despite the distance.

Y/N, on her end, followed TXT's tour updates closely, her heart swelling with pride at each of their achievements. She eagerly awaited Yeonjun's messages, each one a small reminder of their enduring connection.

Finally, the tour came to an end, and Yeonjun returned home, exhausted but filled with a sense of accomplishment and anticipation. He was eager to see Y/N, to finally share his true feelings with her.

They arranged to meet at their favorite café, the same place where they had shared countless conversations and moments of connection. As Yeonjun walked into the café, he saw Y/N sitting at their usual spot, her face lighting up as she saw him.

"Yeonjun! Welcome back!" Y/N exclaimed, standing up to greet him.

Yeonjun smiled, his heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nervousness. "Thanks, Y/N. It's good to be back."

They sat down, ordering their usual drinks. The conversation flowed easily, filled with stories from the tour and updates on Y/N's life. Yeonjun listened intently, admiring her resilience and the way she had embraced her new independence.

As the café began to empty, the moment Yeonjun had been waiting for arrived. He took a deep breath, his eyes meeting Y/N's. "Y/N, there's something I need to tell you. Something I should have said a long time ago."

Y/N looked at him, a sense of anticipation in her eyes. "What is it, Yeonjun?"

Yeonjun hesitated, searching for the right words. "It's about us, about how I feel. I've realized something during this tour, something important."

Y/N leaned in, her heart beating faster. "What did you realize, Yeonjun?"

Yeonjun took her hand, his voice steady but filled with emotion. "I realized that no matter where I am, no matter what I'm doing, you're always on my mind. Y/N, I..."

Just then, his phone rang, interrupting the moment. Yeonjun's expression turned apologetic as he checked the caller ID. "I'm so sorry, Y/N, I have to take this. It's about the post-tour schedule."

Y/N nodded understandingly, a mix of disappointment and curiosity evident in her eyes. She watched as Yeonjun took the call, his expression turning serious as he discussed what sounded like important post-tour details. She couldn't help but feel a tinge of frustration at the interruption, especially with Yeonjun on the cusp of revealing something that seemed significant.

Yeonjun finished the call with a sigh, his apologetic gaze returning to Y/N. "I'm really sorry about that. Where were we?"

Y/N tried to mask her eagerness. "You were saying that you realized something important during the tour."

Yeonjun nodded, gathering his thoughts. "Yes, I... Look, Y/N, these past months have made me realize just how much you mean to me. More than just a friend, more than just someone from my past. I've tried to bury these feelings, thinking it was for the best. But being away from you, it only made it clear how much I..."

He was interrupted again, this time by the café owner reminding them of the closing time. Yeonjun let out a frustrated breath, his chance to confess slipping away once more.

Y/N, sensing his frustration, gave him a reassuring smile. "Maybe we can talk about this another time? When there are fewer interruptions?"

Yeonjun nodded, a little disheartened. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I really want you to hear this, Y/N, without any distractions."

Yeonjun and Y/N exited the café, each enveloped in their own thoughts, yet acutely aware of the other's presence. The silence between them was charged with unspoken words and emotions, creating an air of anticipation as they walked together towards Y/N's apartment.

The walk was quiet, yet comfortable, a testament to their deep and familiar bond. Yeonjun's mind was a whirlwind of emotions, his determination to express his true feelings wrestling with the fear of the unknown. Y/N, sensing the weight of the moment, was filled with a mix of curiosity and anxiety, wondering what Yeonjun had been about to say back at the café.

As they reached her apartment, Yeonjun paused, turning to face Y/N. She opened her mouth to speak, perhaps to invite him in or bid him goodnight, but Yeonjun, driven by a moment of impulsive courage, gently took her by the shoulders.

Without a word, he pulled her close and leaned down, capturing her lips in a long, lingering kiss. It was a bold, unspoken declaration, a culmination of years of held-back feelings and emotions. Y/N, taken aback at first, soon responded with equal fervor, her arms wrapping around his neck. The world around them seemed to pause, their shared kiss bridging the gap of years and unspoken love.

As they finally broke apart, both Yeonjun and Y/N were breathless, their hearts racing. Yeonjun, his eyes reflecting a mix of vulnerability and hope, gave her a look that conveyed more than words ever could. Then, without a word, he turned and hurried away, leaving Y/N at her doorstep, her heart still fluttering from the intensity of their kiss.

Y/N stepped into her apartment, her mind replaying the kiss over and over. She leaned against the door, a smile spreading across her face. She felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and lightness, her cheeks flushed with the warmth of the moment.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun returned to the TXT dorm with an unmistakable grin on his face. As he walked in, his bandmates immediately noticed his elated demeanor.

Beomgyu, who was lounging on the couch, was the first to tease him. "Look who's back with that victory smile. Let me guess, you finally told Y/N how you feel?"

Yeonjun, trying to maintain a semblance of composure, simply nodded, unable to hide his happiness.

Soobin, joining in from across the room, added with a chuckle, "No need to play it cool, Yeonjun. That grin says it all. So, what happened?"

Yeonjun sat down, the smile still playing on his lips. "I might have... expressed my feelings in a not-so-verbal way."

Hueningkai, sitting beside him, nudged him playfully. "Come on, spill the details!"

Yeonjun, his smile turning into a soft laugh, shook his head. "Let's just say, sometimes actions speak louder than words."

The members shared knowing looks and laughs, happy for Yeonjun. They could see the change in him, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

The day of Y/N's showcase for her latest interior design work had arrived, and Yeonjun, along with the rest of TXT, was there to support her. As they entered the venue, the buzz of excitement was palpable. Y/N was already there, looking over her display, her face a picture of focus and pride.

As she caught sight of them, her expression softened into a bright, grateful smile. "You made it!" she exclaimed, her nerves visibly easing.

"Wouldn't miss it," Yeonjun replied, his eyes scanning her work with genuine admiration. "This looks incredible, Y/N."

Beomgyu, Soobin, Taehyun, and Hueningkai echoed his sentiments, praising her work and the elegant setup.

Their presence, however, didn't go unnoticed. Among the crowd were fans of Y/N's work who also recognized TXT. Whispers and murmurs began to spread.

"Isn't that TXT? What are they doing here?" one attendee whispered to another.

"I heard Yeonjun and Y/N used to date. Maybe they're back together?" speculated another, eyes fixed on the pair.

The event proceeded smoothly, with Y/N confidently presenting her designs. Yeonjun watched her, his heart swelling with pride. He noticed the way her eyes lit up as she explained her concepts, and it only deepened his admiration for her.

After her presentation, as the event continued with other showcases, Yeonjun found Y/N at a quieter corner of the venue. "Your presentation was amazing, Y/N. You really outdid yourself," he said, his voice warm with pride.

Y/N blushed at his compliment. "Thanks, Yeonjun. It means a lot to have you here."

Yeonjun looked around, ensuring they had a bit of privacy. Then, acting on impulse and the emotions that had been building up, he leaned in and kissed Y/N softly but passionately on the lips. It was a tender expression of his feelings, one that had been held back for too long.

The kiss caught Y/N by surprise, but she quickly responded, her heart racing with joy. They were lost in the moment, oblivious to the world around them.

As they parted, a few of the attendees, particularly some who were fans since TXT's pre-debut days, noticed the kiss. "They really are together," one murmured, a smile on her face. "I always hoped they would find their way back to each other."

Y/N, still reeling from the kiss, looked up at Yeonjun. "Yeonjun, about what you wanted to say at the café..."

Yeonjun took her hands in his, his gaze sincere. "Y/N, I've realized something important. These past weeks, being there for you, supporting you... it's made me see how much I've missed you, how much I still care about you. I love you, Y/N. I didn't say it back then, but I'm saying it now. I don't want to hide these feelings anymore."

Y/N's eyes filled with tears, not of sadness but of happiness. "Yeonjun, I feel the same. I've been holding back, scared of getting hurt, but I can't deny my feelings for you. I love you too."

The confession was a release for both of them, years of unspoken love finally acknowledged. They hugged tightly, a mix of relief and joy washing over them.

As they stood there, embraced in each other's arms, the event carried on around them, but for Yeonjun and Y/N, the world seemed to stand still. They had overcome their fears and uncertainties and had found their way back to each other.

When they finally pulled away from the embrace, Yeonjun whispered, "Let's make the most of this second chance, Y/N. Together."

Y/N nodded, her smile radiant. "Together."

As the event wound down, they left hand in hand, stepping into a future they were ready to face together. As time passed, Y/N's career as an interior designer flourished. Her work gained widespread recognition, leading to a significant increase in projects and clients. Despite her busy schedule, she and Yeonjun found ways to keep their promise of giving their relationship the second chance it deserved.

Yeonjun's life as an idol remained as hectic as ever, with schedules packed with tours, recordings, and promotions. However, he and Y/N always made time for each other, be it through late-night calls, quick coffee dates, or surprise visits.

One evening, as they relaxed in Y/N's apartment after a particularly busy week, Yeonjun reflected on their journey. "You know, I never imagined we'd be here like this, back together and stronger than ever."

Y/N, snuggling closer to him, replied with a smile, "We've both grown so much, Yeonjun. I think that's what makes us work now. We understand each other and our dreams better."

Their relationship had become well-known among fans, who affectionately referred to them as the "Childhood Sweetheart Power Couple." Many fans remembered Yeonjun's mentions of a girlfriend during his training days and were thrilled to see them reunited.

Unfortunately, Y/N's ex, the one who had cheated on her, tried to stir trouble by publicly accusing Yeonjun of ruining his relationship with Y/N. But the fans, loyal as ever, quickly came to Yeonjun's defense.

"Yeonjun has always been sincere. He's nothing like you describe," one fan retorted online.

"Several of us saw you with that girl that night. Don't try to tarnish Yeonjun and Y/N's relationship," another fan added, shutting down the ex's baseless accusations.

Y/N, aware of her ex's attempts, couldn't help but feel grateful for the overwhelming support they received. "I can't believe how supportive everyone is. It's like they're protecting our love story," she said to Yeonjun one day.

Yeonjun hugged her. "They believe in us, just like we believe in each other. That's what matters."

The pinnacle of their public support came during one of TXT's concerts. Y/N was there, front and center, cheering for Yeonjun and his bandmates. The crowd was electric, and the energy was palpable.

During the concert, Yeonjun took a moment to address the audience. "I want to thank everyone for their support, not just for TXT but for someone very special to me who's here tonight. Y/N, this journey with you has been incredible."

The spotlight briefly shone on Y/N, who waved at the crowd, her face beaming with pride and happiness.

After the concert, as they walked backstage hand in hand, Yeonjun turned to Y/N. "Every moment with you is a reminder of how lucky I am. I love you, Y/N."

Y/N, her eyes shining with love, replied, "And I love you, Yeonjun. Here's to our second chance and to many more years together."

As they left the venue, surrounded by cheers and well-wishes, it was clear that Yeonjun and Y/N were not just childhood sweethearts but a resilient, loving couple who had overcome the odds. Their love story, full of ups and downs, had come full circle, and they were ready to face whatever the future held, together.

#tomorrow x together #txt #fanfic #fanfiction #txt x reader #txt x y/n #txt x you #txt x fem reader #choi yeonjun x reader #choi yeonjun imagines #yeonjun scenarios #choi yeonjun x you #yeonjun x female reader #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun x you #yeonjun x reader #choi yeonjun fluff #yeonjun choi #choi yeonjun

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frillyfacefins · 7 months

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I genuinely think The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty/14th Year of Chenghua is the most egregious case of "Watch the show before you read the book or you'll be so disappointed"

Because the plot COMPLETELY diverges after the first case, with only some things even being remotely similar and not even the first cases having the same conclusion, so watching the show doesn't spoil anything in the book at all.

But if you're used to God of Solving Cases Tang Fan with his ethereal elegance, you will have such a hard time getting used to Whiny Foodie Sleuth Tang Fan in the show.

I love both versions and Whiny Foodie Sleuth Tang Fan is my special baby, but I don't think I've seen anybody yet who actually enjoyed the show all that much after they read the book.

On the other hand, I watched the show, became obsessed, read the book, really enjoyed it, and rewatched the show and I'm still really enjoying it.

It's just that none of these people are the same characters and none of the plot is remotely similar.

#the sleuth of ming dynasty #sleuth of ming dynasty #the sleuth of the ming dynasty #sleuth of the ming dynasty #tsotmd #tsomd #fourteenth year of chenghua #14th year of chenghua #cDrama #danmei

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nodirectionhome-ao3 · 2 months

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WIP Tag

Thanks for the tag @kay-elle-cee, @alittlebitofeverything23, and @isahorcrux !!! This is such a fun one. :)

List the titles your top five priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you're looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Then tag 10 writer friends

Titles

Kindly Stopped for Me: Chapter 33. Lily lives AU, where Lily falls into a coma on Halloween 1981 and wakes up at the end of GoF. Lots of angst and family feels.

The Joker and The Queen: Chapter 3. A Jily fake-dating fic. Shenanigans abound. An "Idiots in Love" kind of story.

James Lives AU (Title TBA): Outline & Chapter 1. Basically a James version of Kindly Stopped for Me. James survives Halloween 1981 in a way that I will not spoil for you, and wakes up later on when Harry is a teenager.

Forever is the Sweetest Con: Short multi-chapter. Jily as con artists who fall in love while trying to con each other.

Fragile Little Flame: A post-war Hinny fic! Most likely a one-shot, but we'll see what happens.

(I’m not including the KSFM Missing Moments that I’m working on in this, since I don’t post them on AO3, but just know that I haven’t forgotten them!!!)

Upcoming Scenes, Events, Details

I've been making some minor changes to my outline for KSFM, so the exact numbers may change, but looking at it from a birds-eye view—Chapters 35 and 39 are two of the angstiest chapters in the entire fic😅 So...in preparation for that...I'm giving you all a slight break from the heaviness of this fic with chapters 33 and 34. I'm hoping it won't feel like a crazy tone switch after the previous two chapters, but I'm excited! Chapter 33 is a bit of a transition chapter (setting up some important things!) so maybe won't be the most exciting thing to read. But it will include Lily watching Harry in a Gryffindor Quidditch match for the first time and the gang celebrating Sirius’s 36th birthday!🎂🎂🎂 So hopefully you all will enjoy that!! And then Chapter 34 will be a Harry POV and will feature some good old-fashioned teenage romance drama😅

Chapter 3 of The Joker and The Queen has taken soooo long to write because it's something I sort of have to be in the right mindset for. (I still don't have a full outline for it because I posted the first chapter impulsively before I really thought about the plot very much lol) But I'm hoping it will be worth the wait!! The chapter will feature Lily meeting Fleamont and Euphemia (and possibly some Potter extended family members too) for the first time. I've never written James's parents before, so I'm excited!

Oh man, oh man. What can I say about the James lives au?? I'm currently drafting multiple vague outline ideas as I work through the timeline that I want it to take place in. But, despite what I've said previously, I'm finding myself starting to lean towards setting it in the OotP universe after all. (but no promises yet!) I'm staying kind of vague about the plot of this since it's still very much under consideration, but I'll just say that Peter's betrayal and its ramifications will be a major focus. The betrayal will happen slightly differently than it does in canon (as some of you have already guessed!), and I expect it to be devastating😈

Forever is the Sweetest Con is a fic that has been percolating in my brain for a WHILE now. I haven't officially outlined it yet, but I already made the banner so it's officially happening! It will be canon divergent, and I'm excited to explore the cat-and-mouse dynamic that I envision when I think about this one.

Fragile Little Flame is a fic inspired by Taylor Swift's "I Know Places" and is also one that I already have a banner and title for, but no outline. It'll be a post-war Hinny fic (I've been wanting to return to writing them!) and will take place in the 19 years between the end of DH and the epilogue. I haven't really thought about the plot in detail yet, but it probably won't be epilogue-compliant. Harry will (probably) be a Quidditch player rather than an Auror, and the fic will explore Harry and Ginny recovering from the war and rebuilding their relationship amongst the chaos of both grief and fame.

Apologies if you've already been tagged! But here's a no-pressure tag to: @suzyq31 @nena-96 @uncertainwallflower @turanga4 @takearisk-ao3 @annasghosts @practicecourts

#wip game #cam writes #wip tag #was tagged

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autisticlancemcclain · 6 months

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thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

#writer games #?#info #tag game #longpost

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iisasarcasticlittleshite · 1 year

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Giyuu Tomioka x Reader (Walk away)

Okay so, be warned, this is LONG people. I've never posted something this long before but I've been sat in front of this far hours and the words just kept coming. I'm pretty proud of it, I think.

It's an angsty slow born, be warned of cannon-typical gore and violence, as well as cannon-divergence because I said so.

I'd rather fall to hell with you, then live on without you.

That is what you'd promised him years ago now, when he'd pushed you away from the life of pain and death that came with bearing a blade against demons.

You had your own burden to carry, either one of you could have died on any given day. The way Giyuu saw it, he'd lost Sabito in a matter of minutes, he could just as easily lose you.

You, with your breath-taking smile and quick tongue, carrying a charisma that no one seemed able to resist.

You were both young slayers, freshly out of final selection and carrying swords newly bearing your colours.

You confused Tomioka beyond belief, how bright and loud you still were despite what you'd just survived. No one comes out of final selection emotionally unscathed, but you acted like life had more in store for you than decades of killing and bloodshed.

Tomioka was addicted to that shine at first, part of him wanted to protect it, the rest, dreaded the day it faded, as he was sure it would.

The world is not kind to those who do not follow it's rules, and you followed no rule in the book. Even your fighting style was out of the box and wild, at times unpredictable or downright unruly.

But, for every mission he took on with you, every time you crossed each other's paths on your way through life, he got addicted to your presence.

Over the years you grew, your brightness grew quieter. No longer an unruly teen, you became a loveable rogue of a Hashira, your smile now a reassurance to those who relied on you for protection, but no amount of change would make him forget that day.

He'd been sent to a deserted village, where a demon had terrorised the townsfolk for weeks, a demon, who claimed to be in the running for the 12 kizuki.

He knew this demon was powerful the moment he stepped into the village's confines, the hair at the nape of his neck stood on end, raising gooseflesh down his arms as the stillness in the air screamed just how wrong this place was.

So much death here, so many ghostly screams waiting to be heard.

He stopped at the gates, and turned to you. For once, you were silent, your eyes ahead and smile absent. You had sensed it to, with your irritatingly good perception for death, and the demons that caused it.

'You should go back for reinforcements.' A young man caught himself saying, unable to restrain the urge to protect the nearest thing he had to a friend. 'This is probably more than we can handle.'

It should have been, the two of you were barely ranked kanoe, and this feels like a demon for a pillar to deal with.

Your deep concentration broke to fix him with an incredulous look, brows pinching as though you'd tasted something bitter. 'Shove off, we both know I'm not going anywhere but forward. Now come on, let's kill this thing.'

Panic made his breath hitch dangerously in his throat, and he realised that fighting beside you was going to be impossible soon. He cared too much, and if just watching you walk toward danger is enough to break total concentration breathing, then if something were to actually happen to you, he doesn't know what he'd do.

Without thinking, he snatched your wrist before you could get ahead of him, eyes hooded by his wild raven hair.

'(Y/N), please...I'm going to walk in there, please, don't follow me.'

'Why?' It's not because he thinks you're weak, you know he doesn't. You've been training together since final selection, fighting demons together, patching each other up, drifting apart only to be put back together soon after. Neither of you has ever been afraid for the other, not when you're apart.

Giyuu knows your skills at least match his, on you best day, you probably outclass him, but...he can't let go of your wrist. He can't walk into danger with you again without his heart feeling like a block of ice in his chest, chilling the very air in his lungs until it hurts to breathe.

His panic doesn't make sense to you, surely he feels what you do? Surely he sees the way you two work together, like a clock's mechanism, endless and thorough.

Surely he sees that you're unstoppable together, sees that facing down hell with him at your side doesn't scare you one bit?

When next he looks into your eyes, it's with the bottomless depths of cobalt you've grown to love, hopelessly, and you realise that, no, he does not see that.

He's petrified, frozen in fear of walking on with you. He doesn't feel supported by you, he feels crippled.

The realisation strikes you in the chest with the force of a horse's kick, stealing the air you desperately need and tearing your heart from your chest.

Before you know it, tears have risen to your eyes as hurt and betrayal clouds your mind. This is not what you need, and you could have sworn you heard the demon lurking in the murky village behind you laugh in mockery at the two young slayers, having a teenage crisis at its doorstep.

Young love, some people spoke of it so wistfully. To Giyuu, it felt crippling, now more than ever. The thought of losing you imobilised him, it didn't matter how strong you were, he was weak to the thought of your absence.

Maybe if he'd known then what he'd know five years later, he might have had the balls to walk beside you, to see the faith you had in him, the loyalty you bore in your heart for him and him alone.

If he'd known, he would have chosen a death at your side a thousand times, rather than what came next.

'I'd have walked into hell at your side sooner than live on alone, did you know that?' He'd never looked more selfish to you, a boy you'd never thought any sort of ill of, a slayer you admired beyond what words could describe.

A man you loved so much your heart could not contain it, now looked to you a selfish prick who chose the easy route over you.

Even if all he'd ever given you was silent companionship, it was enough. Enough that he let you near the quiet moments, let you listen to the few words he said, shared his pain, his convictions with you.

It was enough, it would always have been enough. Had you really been asking too much?

You freed yourself from him and marched ahead. You left him the choice. Contradict his words and follow, go back to being your partner into everything this cruel world had to offer, or shrink away, and cut loose the fear of losing you before his eyes.

Giyuu hadn't followed, and in doing so, lost you in a way far more painful than death.

There is nothing in life he regrets more than turning and running from that gate, unwilling to watch you die, unable to stomach fighting beside you and being responsible for keeping you alive. He'd have been no help to you at that moment he couldn't find his breathing no matter how hard he tried.

Before he'd found help, your crow flew overhead, announcing loud and clear.

"The White Ghost Demon is dead! The Demon is Dead! No casualties! Slayer (L/N) (Y/N) and Tomioka Giyuu have slain the Village Hunter!"

Giyuu almost fell on his face, gaping at the crow, which was already far ahead of him, flying for headquarters no doubt. You'd made your crow lie for him, so he'd never be reprimanded for leaving a fellow slayer to fight alone.

That was you last act of friendship to him.

For the following year, he could not have found you if he'd tried. He told himself it was for the best; never before had he been so crippled by fear and panic, and he swore never to let it happen again.

He trained to the bone and made a name for himself, burying his head in the proverbial sound for years, until he completed hashira training, and finally lifted his eyes to the world.

That was when he saw you. Five years older, knelt before the master, your power and grace rolling off you in waves to rival Tengen's flamboyancy.

You were a sight to behold, young among the pillars and absolutely adored by the corps. It was as though he were looking at a different person, wearing your face, but older.

Gone was your baby-faced bubbly smile, in its place was a roguish grin that softened to a comforting simper among the junior members you took pride in sponsoring and protecting.

You were toned now, carried yourself on soundless steps while the sway of your hips drew the eye.

You'd been promoted to Hashira the year before him, how had he not heard of that?

With your return to his life, he was ready to feel the irreparable panic grip his chest all over again, but it didn't. In its place was pain, a pain like no other as you didn't acknowledge him once.

You were polite enough not to arouse suspicion, but never once met his gaze, never once graced him with the kind of beaming smile you flashed anyone else who spoke to you.

To all the world, it looked like you'd just met a total stranger, and Giyuu knows it's what he deserves.

He knows now what he did, knows what you were trying to show him.

He'd been a coward, and a blind one at that, for missing the trust you had in him. You weren't some ignorant ball of sunshine as he'd sometimes taken you for a fool, you knew what your fate would likely be.

You'd gone about life with a smile, because you wouldn't live on your knees in fear of a death you couldn't avoid, and you'd chosen to do it at his side, because you saw him as someone worth fighting and dying beside.

Why had it taken him this long to see the honour you'd been sharing with him? Why did he have to throw away someone who may well have been his soulmate before realising that you'd put your heart in his hands for him to crush?

He's sure it's too late now, too late for regrets...but dear god every time you smile at the others the way you used to smile at him he swears he could drop to his knees.

The other Hashira are not blind, and it's Tengen who approaches you, observant as he is.

'You and the quiet guy, you know each other from before, right?'

You sat straighter behind your desk, you'd been writing a letter to a friend when the Sound Pillar joined you in your home. His visits aren't unusual anymore, he and his wives like to make themselves at home in your estate.

'What gives you that idea?' You wondered, tone carefully even, knowing he could hear even the slightest change in tone, any hint of change would tip him off.

All things considered, you needn't have bothered trying. Tengen knows you too well.

'The fact that he looks at you like you stole the stars outta the sky. I mean, I get the looking, you're pretty flashy if I do say so myself, but for him to notice? Something's up.'

You sighed, and closed your ink well. This conversation is clearly not going away, and it's one that you should have had with someone long ago. You've never told a soul what happened at that gate, not even other slayers who'd once seen you and Giyuu as inseparable.

None of those slayers are alive today, and the memory of your time with the current water pillar seemed to have been buried with them.

Until now, when he came barrelling back into your life like a silent hurricane. He'd been handsome enough as a teen, did he really need to get prettier? His beauty was akin to that of a sculpture crafted by an angel's own hands, if only the wounds he'd left in your heart didn't cut so deep.

Tengen placed himself across your desk, arms folded, waiting. He knows you too well, gets on with you too well. Neither of you is afraid of being heard, nor do you care what others think of your lifestyle, there's always been a quiet sort of respect between you, as you've now learned, is the way Tengen honours those he idolizes most.

You and Rengoku sat at the top of that list, but you know he's got no great love for Tomioka. Not flashy enough, they could not have been more different.

'I knew him, when we were young. Fresh out of final selection.' You began to explain, willing your eyes onto the view of your garden through the open screens. 'He was such a stick in the mud, I remember thinking he looked so sad, it drove me nuts that he never cracked a smile.'

Tengen watched as something he's never seen before overtook your face: nostalgia.

Open, kind, charismatic as you are, you've never opened up about your past, not even remotely. To the point that no one really knew anything about you other than your mother had died a slayer.

'You were friends?' He prompted when it looked as though you were debating whether or not to continue. 'With that guy?'

All at once, years of memories came flooding back to you. The time you'd complained so much about the heat that Giyuu had pushed you into a lake, it was the first time you saw him laugh.

The time you stumbled across him after being alone for a fortnight and shared your rations with him because he had none.

The countless times you'd tended each other's wounds, knowing what was needed without a word. He could tell you a thousand words with a glance, oh how many times you'd pulled off coordinated attacks in battle without so much as a whisper.

It was a connection unlike anything you'd ever had, growing up alone with you father, and in the years since you'd lost it, the pain of that lost had barely dulled.

Time would not heal this, you knew, and thus your eyes stung with tears long overdue.

Tengen almost lost his breath. He's never seen you cry, never so much as sniffle! Watching you vehemently hold back emotion was something he never thought he'd see unless he caught you on your death bed!

With words so quiet, a voice so delicate he thought you'd shatter like a thin sheet of ice, you whispered keenly to his sensitive ears.

'He was all I had.'

As much as Tengen wanted to ask how you got yourself stuck with that character-less slip of a man without an ounce of flamboyancy in him, he knew he couldn't, because somehow, somewhere, you'd given your heart to that man, and he trusted your judgement in all things, including this.

You pressed your lips together to keep them from wobbling, you hated crying, and deepened your total concentration to keep the tears back, forcing your body into an adrenaline rush to push back those tears.

You would not cry over this again.

'That's not healthy you know?' Tengen's tone was smooth, gentle without patronising you, he knows you'd punch him for such a transgression.

'I'll live.' You told him, as you always did when you came back battered. That hadn't happened in a while, these days.

Tengen chuckled warmly, pinning you with the smile that made most men envy him, and most women swoon. 'I know you will. So, what happened?'

With a deep sigh, you let your body relax, and accept the painful memory, let it stab into you without argument. That pain lanced through your chest, radiating to the very tips of your fingers, but your eyes stayed dry this time.

'He made a choice.' You muttered, at first unsure how to explain such a thing without implicating the new Hashira as a coward. 'In the end, he wasn't willing to fight beside me.'

'Too afraid he'd lose you?' Tengen concluded, earning a solemn nod. 'And you, you would have died beside him, rather than lived on alone?'

It's not the sort of question he would normally ask. He's told his own wives to prioritize their own lives above any mission, but he knows you don't abide by those priorities.

You were not without a self-preservation instinct, but in your mind, being a demon slayer would be the death of you. Being that you'd guaranteed yourself a gruesome death with this choice, you chose to live a good life, a proud life. It's what Tengen admires most in you.

What you'd done, was give Tomioka the highest of honours: you'd given him your loyalty. You'd have walked into battle with Muzan Kibutsuji himself if Giyuu were at your side.

'What kind of an idiot walks away from that?'

Your eyes shot up to Uzui's. His tone is still even and natural, but even you can hear a difference, and see that rage in his eyes, simmering beneath the carmine surface.

'Don't.' You pleaded, though you didn't know what for. 'I didn't tell you this so you could hate him any more than you already do.'

Tengen levelled his gaze with yours, taking in the set of your jaw, the underlying panic. You'd likely just shared the most vulnerable moment of your life with him, he's got no right to ruin it with his own anger.

'I don't hate him,' he attempts to placate you, but your brows furrow at him, 'never said I liked him, but I don't hate him. And as for you, I think you handle yourself pretty damn well around someone who did what he did.'

You sighed, dropping your head into your hands, rubbing your temples. 'All of the others have noticed, haven't they?'

'We're the pillars, (Y/N). Not the easiest bunch to fool.'

'Joy.' You drawled, stubbornly averting your eyes back to the garden. 'You heard none of this.'

Tengen chuckled again, breathing out his own uproar over your case. He knows you're hurting, and he doesn't want you too, not when you've got such a good outlook on life. It's a waste of your time to be frowning.

'I sure didn't. I'll see ya tomorrow, troublemaker.'

He patted your head on his way out, leaving you to your freshly unlocked memories that you frankly could have gone without reliving ever again.

The peace and quiet of your garden made a mockery of the turmoil in your head, locking you behind your eyes for the remainder of the day, oblivious to how keenly Giyuu noticed your absence more and more keenly with each day.

Every time he saw you and knew he could not have you, something in him cracked and broke, feeling the lack of something he didn't know mattered as much as it did.

The tension is killing him inside, but he tucks it firmly away without knowing what the hell else to do with it. You'd made jokes about his "emotional constipation" as younger slayers, if only he'd known to listen to you.

Shinobu caught on to his dilemma and syphoned the information out of Tengen. Not even a shinobi was immune to the insect pillar's interrogation techniques, especially not when she knows he's the only one you would have told anything at all about what's going on.

Infuriatingly, and you and Giyuu have one thing in common, your love of privacy. Flamboyant and proud as you are, you are simultaneously tight lipped.

Shinobu doesn't get much from Tengen, he would die before incurring your full wrath, death would be kinder. Only that you and the water pillar had a significant friendship before something went horribly wrong.

The insect pillar used this information carefully when she and Tomioka were dispatched on a mission together.

'You know, I'm pretty sure (Y/N)'s seen the looks you send them all the time.' She sang sweetly, hopping on river rocks delicately while the water pillar searches for a place to make camp on the bank. The demon they'd been sent to deal with had been dead hours ago, now came the long walk home. 'I've never seen you two talk, but (Y/N)'s so outgoing, I'm surprised they haven't gotten to you.'

She watched his back as he visibly flinched, and she knows she's got him.

'They look at you too, you know?'

That forced his attention off the fire he's trying to start, hands growing still over the kindling.

'What do you want, Shinobu?'

'Oh, nothing.'

He waited for her to say more, but she remained mercifully silent, watching the water flow downstream with a wistful hum fluttering from her throat, and Giyuu rolled his eyes.

In a way, travelling with her reminds him of you, apart from the glaring difference that unlike you, Shinobu does not heed his need for silence.

He used to love listening to you talk, often you'd have observations to share about the world around you, how clear skies brought cold nights. Sometimes you'd spot animals and stop to point them out to him. You saw so much beauty in a world he couldn't fathom loving as much as you seemed to.

No, travelling with Shinobu is nowhere near as comfortable as traveling with you was.

Beyond his notice, the insect pillar was now watching him attentively, paying close attention to how he'd relaxed into nostalgia. Hell, was he smiling?

That did it. Something was to be found here, and she was determined to deal with this little secret if it was the last thing she did.

She concocted a plan to enlist Mitsuri if necessary and find out whatever was causing the tension between you, but before she could even think of putting that plan into action, the two of them returned to find you and Rengoku gone.

The Mugen train had gone awfully wrong, you'd been in the area and sent in at the last moment as reinforcements.

Word got back the next day, that both you and the flame Hashira were critically wounded, the crow didn't seem to know if either of you would make it to the butterfly estate alive.

All at once, all the colour, all the life in the world, drained from Tomioka's face.

Dead. All he heard that crow say, was that you were dead, or about to be.

Upper Moon Three, Akaza, had beaten Kyojuro to death while the Flame Hashira protected a train full of injured passengers, and then taken you out when you'd charged in to save him.

Two pillars knocked out in one fell swoop, it was a devastating blow to the corps...but Giyuu didn't give a rat's ass about the corps.

Your name, your smile, your eyes, the smell of your hair on the breeze, all of it flashed behind his eyes on repeat as his mind pummelled him with the fact that he may never, ever, see you again.

You'd reached the butterfly estate, barely breathing, but Rengoku was more critical than you, Shinobu would have to work on him first.

No one slept that night, least of all Giyuu. All hands were on deck at the butterfly estate, including his. Even though all he could do was solemnly carry linens and bandages back and forth to be watched.

All three of Tengen's wives had joined the denizens of Shinobu's home, helping heal those wounded in the massacre, leaving Shinobu focused on trying to keep the two pillars alive.

He caught a glimpse of you there, bloodied almost beyond recognition. Tanjiro said you'd jumped in so fast that you'd almost taken Akaza's head off in the first blow, the young slayers were in awe of you.

Here, laid in your own blood, hair a spidery mess, staining the white pillow with your own blood, the sight of you made something in Tomioka bleed. It doesn't take much thought to know it's his heart.

"Everyone dies eventually, right?" You'd once said, fifteen, cherub cheeked and eager. "My mother died for a reason, she was protecting people. I've decided that if I have to live without her, then I'll live a life worth living, and if I have to die, it'll be for a reason as good as hers!"

If you died there, on that bed, away from your home, your family, was he supposed to be happy for you? It's the kind of death you wanted, protecting people, your soul may well be sat in that chair beside your body, watching everyone struggle to keep you alive while begging them all to let you go.

You'd done enough, you'd suffered and bled and grieved but...no. He wasn't ready to give you away to death.

If the last time he ever looked you in the eye was the day before he left you, he'd throw himself into hell itself to look you in the eye again and swear to you that he regretted nothing more than his blindness to your love and loyalty.

The estate worked tirelessly well into the next night, and only then did Kocho dare take a step back from your final stitches, having listened to your heart thrum unsteadily for the past ten minutes.

'They'll live, I think. Both of them.'

'You think?' Giyuu couldn't help but press, his eyes fixed on your battered face. Even cleaned up hastily, you looked so very tired. What was the power of an upper moon, to have brutalised you so?

Shinobu laid a hand on his shoulder, an exhausted attempt at comfort. 'I've done everything I can. It's on them now.'

With that, one by one, people began to file out of the room. It felt empty now, two beds on opposite walls, foot to foot, barely a meter between them.

Rengoku still looked as pale as the bandages now covering his left eye, his breath carrying a faint whistle from the severe damage to his chest.

At least it could be heard, proof the hashira hadn't stopped breathing yet.

You, on the other hand, were completely soundless.

Giyuu could not bring himself to leave, slowly shifting to sit on the edge of your bed, your limp hand laying mere inches from his thigh.

So close, yet so far away. You used to drag him around by the hand all the time, shopping in cities, especially when you got hungry.

Your hands were rougher now, skin thickened with callouses from years of wielding a blade. Still, when he cradled your hand between both of his, it felt like home all over again, as familiar and comforting as Urokodaki's cooking.

Limp and pale, your hand hang from his with none of your usual vitality to it, only the faint hint of a pulse at your wrist reminded him that you hadn't died yet.

Shinobu had said it was up to you now, he has to wonder, given the choice, would he come back from this, or would he allow himself to slip into death's embrace?

'Come back,' the plea slipped from his lips before he could think on who might hear. He doesn't care, not when he's gone years in silence. 'Please, please don't leave yet. Come back...you don't need this death yet.'

You remained unmoving, still as the grave, your knuckles dampened as he brought your fingers to his cheek, desperate to ground himself when panic threatened to take him. He let the tears roll onto your skin, waiting for you to wake up and scold him for crying without you.

No one dared ask the water pillar to move from that spot for the day and a half he held that post.

It was a feat of willpower, to be sure. Giyuu sat at your bedside, meditating, your hand held fast in his, as if he was the only thing holding you to this earthly plain.

At some point, all of the pillars visited the room, but granted Tomioka his space as they prayed and hoped for both you and Rengoku to awaken, sound of mind, at the very least.

'I doubt Rengoku will ever walk again.' Shinobu uttered to Aoi, gazing sadly upon the shining light of fire. 'It's a miracle (Y/N) arrived when they did. He'd be dead for sure without them.'

'And (L/N)?'

'I don't know, they took a blow to the head, that worries me more than the damage to their leg.'

Giyuu heard none of it, even if he had, it wouldn't have changed a thing, so long as you still drew breath, he wouldn't leave your side.

By noon of the second day, something changed.

Out of conditioning, habit, or your own subconscious effort, your body slipped into total concentration breathing. Giyuu knows that pattern, memorised it from the nights you spent camping together, it's your own characteristic rhythm, he'd know it anywhere.

Your fingers twitched in his grasp, eyelashes fluttering, as though fighting to open, and he waited with baited breath, periodically squeezing your fingers to help bring you around.

A surge of relief nearly rendered him limp the moment your eyes saw daylight, and squinted, ill-adjusted to the midday sun.

But you were awake, and breathing, consciously, slowly taking in the room until your eyes landed on his.

Those cobalt eyes come as a shock to your system, his is not a face you expected to see as your mind struggles to make sense of your last actions, fighting the upper moon. You'd been reckless in defence of a fellow slayer, you knew that much.

Warmth encompasses your hand, and you know he's holding you when your squeeze his fingers weakly, wordlessly acknowledging his presence.

Avoiding him did not even cross your bleary mind, you'd looked death in the face and said "no, thank you", at that moment your old pains mattered nought, he was there, looking at you with the eyes you could never make yourself hate.

'You're awake, finally.' His voice came raspy with lack of use, and water. 'Do you need something? Should I get Shinobu?'

Slowly, groggily, you shook your head, clinging weakly to three of his fingers with your partly numb had, struggling to get circulation back to where it was needed.

'S-ay.' You managed to huff, clearing your throat. 'Stay.'

Giyuu nodded, scooting closer willingly. He doubted he could have made himself go anywhere if you asked him to. 'I'm here.'

He had no place being the one reassuring you, any one of the others could have done the job better, but he's here, and he doesn't want to leave you.

You opened your mouth, boldly mouthing the question that's been plaguing you for years, forcing it past your battered throat.

'Why, did you leave me, that day?'

All at once, his blood ran cold. He knew you'd ask, you had every right to, and he's thought about the answer a thousand times.

Nothing he could say felt like enough, but just this once, words were unavoidable.

'Because...because I was scared that if I kept going, you'd die beside me. I was scared, of watching it happen.'

You processed his words, clutching his fingers as though he'd disappear if you let go.

Your grip spread warmth over his skin, physical proof that you wanted him there, nowhere else. No one else. Him. You're clinging to him.

'Does it scare you less...' you rasped, pausing for breath as your body screamed at you to shut up and lie still, 'if I die like this?'

'No!' He hadn't meant to raise his voice, it came loose before he knew what he was doing, surging to his feet to hover over you, free hand reaching to cradle your face for fear your eyes would dodge his as they'd done so many times before. 'You were right, again. You were right then, and you're right now. I was scared, and a coward, and I didn't realise what it was you were trying to tell me until I'd walked away.'

You stared up at him for a long moment, cheek sinking into the warmth of his palm, counting your breaths as they see-sawed passed your lips.

'What was I trying to tell you?'

You needed him to say it, needed to hear that he'd actually-

'You loved me.'

Part of that pain slowly healed, your chest felt lighter as you corrected him gently.

'I love you.'

'Even after...(Y/N) you can't forgive me for that.'

You smiled, past pain and oncoming tears that his thumb gently wiped away.

'You let me decide what I can and can't forgive you for, okay hun?'

There it was, that smile you pulled on like it wasn't about to shatter his entire world and send it crashing down onto him. His heart felt three times too big for his chest and threatened to burst through his ribs, crippling him under a surge of adoration.

When had your hands slipped from his and cupped his cheeks, when had you pulled him down to you?

How long had the keys to heaven been found on your lips?

The kiss was a haven, stealing the breath from his lungs as he cautiously sank into your loving embrace.

All at once, he was enveloped in all he things he'd missed. The smell of your hair, the soft hum of your voice as you purred into his clumsy attempts at kissing. Your guidance was patient, loving, fingers eagerly tangling in his thick hair, just as eager to lose yourself in.

Prior to that moment, Giyuu doesn't recall being a religious man, but for you, for your love, he prayed to any god above who'd listen, never to let him walk away from his angel, ever again.

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #angst with comfort #happy ending I promise #giyuu tomioka #demon slayer x reader #demon slayer giyuu #hashira reader #fluff #teeth rotting fluff #slow burn #this is looong #giyuu tomioka x reader #giyuu x reader #tomioka x reader #hashira x reader #kny #kny x reader

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my-mt-heart · 6 months

Text

“The Book of Carol” Teaser

Well, that was some serious whiplash yesterday. Totally not suspicious. Not suspicious at all. I'm still uneasy about the show's leadership, but the teaser is by far the best reassurance we've gotten in a long while and Caryl fans are happier than I've seen them in over a year, so I'll take it. Hopefully we can expect exciting content like this to roll out consistently until S2 airs, but in the meantime, here are my thoughts on what we have...

Daryl's opening VO, "I dunno know if this is the place I'm supposed to be," is actually a line from the leaked 201 sides. In them, Daryl has a conversation with Isabelle, the details of which I'll discuss sometime after the finale airs, but what's relevant here is that it juxtaposes Daryl's conversation with Carol in Find Me. Whereas Daryl insists in the cabin that he does know where he's "supposed to be," implying that he belongs with Carol, something isn't feeling right about France or the "surrogate family" (🙄) the teaser immediately cuts to after that line. I don't know the context of the next lines of VO, "I've been thinking about all the people I left behind, wondering if they're still thinking about me," and I'm not entirely sure why Daryl assumes Carol may have moved on (need I remind you of the lunch date in S11), but obviously he's homesick. And, thanks to that very unambiguous tagline, we understand why. Daryl and Carol are each other’s home. They need each other to be happy.

Needless to say, Melissa is so good in this. She doesn't need gimmicks or anything artsy to make her performance stand out. Carol's agony over Daryl is right there in her eyes, her determination to find him clear in her voice. I especially love her soft "yes" to the man I suspect will accompany her to France (you can see his reflection in the rearview mirror when Carol is in the car surrounded by walkers). He seems reluctant to take up a cause he isn't emotionally invested in, meaning he doesn't know if he wants to embark on what's bound to be a long, dangerous journey for someone he hasn't met i.e. Daryl. So basically, he's asking Carol if she would do it if she was in his position and she assures him that she would. The dialogue is a bit convoluted to stick in a teaser, but the takeaway is supposed to be that Carol will do anything to find Daryl if there's hope he's still alive. Because, of course she would. Daryl should know that, just like Carol should know he'd worry about her even if she told him not to. They love each other. They told each other they love each other. These two have a lot of insecurities to sort out when they finally reunite, and I hope we get to watch those deep conversations take place when they aren't making out.

Carol riding Daryl's bike and carrying his crossbow are nostalgic, the first reminding me of when Daryl rode out of the Commonwealth in the series finale only this time I'm not fighting the urge to hurl something at the TV. I'm actually cheering Carol on as she sets off to find him and hopefully give him a stern talking to (I let you go on our road trip alone and you end up in France??) The second is reminiscent of No Sanctuary when she finds his crossbow at Terminus, and we all know where that led. The question is how will this reunion top it? Hint: there's only one right answer.

I wonder if collecting pieces of him keeps her grounded along the way, similar to how Dog became her connecting point after she and Daryl had their big fight in Find Me/Diverged. I'd ideally like to see flashbacks of Daryl teaching Carol how to ride and/or how to use the crossbow since it's never been established that she can do either. My expectations aren't high unfortunately because history tells me TWDU loves to take shortcuts. That was particularly the case in S11 as far as Caryl were concerned. If that continues though, it's going to be a major issue for me. Don't just toss out gimmicks you think will get us talking for a bit. Don't leave out the connective tissue. Earn what you want to show us.

The title screen is an eyesore. For one thing, there are way too many fonts and for another, "Daryl Dixon" is the larger text despite the season centering on Carol. Like I said yesterday, Melissa and Norman are on equal footing. That is confirmed, but visuals like this give the appearance that Melissa/Carol carry less weight than Norman/Daryl which is complete bullshit. The original spinoff was going to be hers just as much as it was his, so why wouldn't that be the case now? That's a rhetorical question because I know the answer. It'd be really nice if AMC stopped punishing Melissa and her fans for their mistakes last year.

But to end on a positive note (I was doing so well, wasn't I?), the teaser is a good sign for Carol's/Caryl's story, and I'm excited about S2 again. With some help, I'll be keeping a close watch on how the season is marketed going forward. If the whiplash continues, if EPs keep insulting their audience, well…why stick around for it 🤷🏻‍♀️ But if hints such as that tagline persist or ramp up, we might actually be headed for explicit canon 👍🙏❤️

(I see my inbox is about to explode. I'll get to what I can tonight).

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol #the book of carol

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macaroonff · 10 days

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Hey!! I really enjoy your writings of Jungwon. May I request a longer writing of him based on the song Love by Keyshia Cole? Just angst, yet heart fluttering, but with a happy ending (if that's possible 😭)

Thank you 💙

Hi anonie, i'm so glad you like reading my works and thanks for requesting! I've been busy so I just saw this ＞﹏＜ .

Woah okay this song is so beautiful like its just so desperate and heart wrenching ugh. I felt like a right person wrong timing trope/ ex lovers would work really well for this, which is what I've tried in this story. I hope you like it!

reunion- y.j.w

↪Pairing: idol Jungwon x gn! reader

↪wc: 2.4k

♪love- keyshia cole

Late evening, a busy Friday, the neon signs of Seoul glow beneath the shadows of its sheer clouds. The streets are packed with people, all of whom walk with urgency. You watch as tides of people sway in and out of the enormous skyscrapers you weren’t used to seeing here. They stood their ground, massive, and haughty, reminding you of how much had changed since the last time you were here.

Ten years ago, before you left Korea in a haste for university in New York.

Your eyes wander past these buildings, all of them stuck to each other side by side until all you saw were buildings running into the horizon. You find your feet dragging along the intersection slowly, massive crowds of people rushing towards you until you reach the other end, where there was a bus stop. You also find yourself in a daze, the unfamiliarity of the streets coming back to hit you as you keep confusing the road signs, and your 'left-and-rights'. The bus stop is also busy, a crowd of office workers holding on to the seats.

You stand to one side, going back to your newfound hobby of “Spot the differences”- differences between the Seoul in your memories and the Seoul of today. Just how Seoul had changed so drastically, you realised you had grown older, a noticeable change in how you carried yourself.

You were no longer a naïve student, excited yet afraid of the future. You were an adult, with experiences that had changed your outlook towards life, realising how much you’d matured over the years.

By now your eyes discover that the glass-like buildings end with one even taller than the rest, adorned with billboards. This building, however, is one you recognise. It was HYBE, the reason you had flown back to Korea.

You’d received mail from them 3 months prior, an invitation to collaborate on a music video. As a rising director, with awards being showered upon you for the last year, you were excited. They were going to debut a new girl group and wanted your unique style incorporated, while you had a chance to diverge into a new format. You had come out late this evening looking for inspiration, anything about the city that aligned with your vision. Your eyes go back to observing your surroundings, stretching your neck as you try to see where the building ends. Your eyes find the massive billboard sitting at the very top, displaying a face you’d gotten so used to knowing.

A face that you tried so hard to erase from your memories.

Like you, he looked extremely different compared to ten years ago. He was unrecognisable. His red hair was framed so perfectly, highlighting his cheekbones compared to his rounder cheeks when he was a teen. Like Seoul, he felt unfamiliar, so different from your memories of him.

You don’t know why it didn’t hit you before. Seoul had become cruel, and unlike your fame, his was explosive. To everyone except you in Seoul, Yang Jungwon was familiar. His and his band’s billboards adorned the road into HYBE, and you’re not sure why you didn’t recognise him earlier. This person you’d grown so used to knowing was now a stranger.

When you first got on board with the project, you were fearful thinking about your path crossing his. You eventually shrug them off, calculating every possibility. He’s a superstar, packed with schedules, touring for all means. He wouldn't be present in any of your meetings. he would merely remain that- a billboard that used to be a memory. Plus you believed that fate, which kept you apart for ten years would not be so unkind to you. Fate always had your side, it wouldn’t betray you.

So why was it, as you’re setting up the cameras next week, and greeting the younger, cheerful girls that you see the man you so hate, get out of his car in the periphery?

You feel your breath hitch, voice trembling slightly. You don’t want to see him. You turn your back towards him, bringing your attention back to the eager girls who don’t notice your predicament, as you focus on the script.

You hear his steps caving in closer, as his solid boots hit the concrete. The only thing louder than which would probably be your pounding heart.

“Scene 8 involves a fight between you and your supposed boyfriend.” you ramble on, pretending to give them a breakdown of a scene. The girls fiddle about, their eyes shifting between your face and behind your head.

You pause, a good guess as to why.

You hear the girls’ voice getting higher as they bow and introduce themselves. “Please take care of us, sunbaenim,” their leader, Yunah exclaims.

You gulp, feet stuck to the ground. You hear a small chuckle, a sound so familiar it could bring you to tears. “Mm, long time no see,” he replies and you're not sure who exactly he was addressing, despite feeling his eyes on the back of your head.

You can smell his perfume, the same strong woody scent that you had gifted him ten years ago. Everything from his voice to his appearance had changed, yet some things remained the same.

You let out a sigh, straightening your back as you finally face him, a poor attempt at being professional. A poor attempt at pretending like everything was okay. You’re too afraid to even look at him, to even say “hi”. What would you even say?

'Why’d you leave me out of the blue?' or 'why couldn’t you have told me earlier?' All of which were questions that would open up a box locked up in your heart. A box you don’t ever want to open again.

Your eyes eventually find his ones, unblinking, with new intensity reflected back. His expression is undecipherable.

You feel his eyes wander all over your frame, from your hair to your hands, as though he were also trying to take in all of your presence, and everything it meant today. He seemed to be taking it so much better than you, seemingly calm, as though you were the only one shaken by the years past. Like he didn’t even remember you anymore.

You feel your assistant director nudge you out of the ghosting silence. “This is Jungwon, he’ll be our cameo since our actor got hurt this morning.” Your eyes follow as the towering figure bends in a bow.

“Please take good care of me,” you hear him whisper, to which you blink in slight surprise. You remind yourself that it was a greeting, and not a nod to your shared past.

You’d cared plenty for him. Except he ran away. How could you be sure he wasn’t going to do it today?

You nod stiff, before walking away hurriedly towards your monitor. You hear your assistant director apologise on your behalf, as you fiddle with your monitors, checking with the other staff.

Anything to distract yourself with.

You look back at the script, realising that he would be playing the role of the estranged boyfriend. You scoff at the irony.

It was funny how the person you’d written this scene with in mind was the one playing it. It was funny how everything came back full circle just to kick you in the ass.

You’re monitoring the shot of him being pushed away by one of the girls, as she walks out of his life. In what was supposed to be a liberating scene, you don’t know why you now felt pity. It held you back, his remorseful look, his pleading eyes, his figure against the concrete wall.

You stop the cameraman who was about to pan from Jungwon to the girl. His tears you knew were fake wouldn’t stop, and his eyes looked into the camera in desperation. You find your heart stop with the way he looks at you through the screen- pitiful, and upset, yet so, so distant. His hair was wet from the fake rain created, and his lips trembled against the cold breeze. His left hand is on his heart, clutching onto his drenched shirt, as though all of the universe’s pain was consolidated there. But somehow, he still looked so good.

You feel a tear rolling down your cheek, landing on your closed fist, bringing you out of your visceral thoughts. “C..Cut” you finally say, realising how swept up you were in your own emotions. You see him sigh and lean back against the wall, staff running to help him.

“You okay?” you hear your assistant director ask you, seeing your shaken state. You nod to her, gulping down water as you see the boy approach your side.

“Jungwon, your acting was so good it made y/n cry,” your sound director chimes in once he notices your actor stationed at a monitor. The boy doesn’t say anything, choosing to give him a wry smile.

From the corner of your vision, you see his beady eyes following his previous performance, which under normal circumstances you would consider impressive. But both of you knew the bigger performance was pretending to be sane near each other. He leans in closer when the camera zooms in on him, and you feel his breath fanning you ever so slightly as he gasps.

“Woah, I thought we were going to film Iroha walking away,” he says surprised when he sees himself on the monitor for a prolonged time.

“Hmm that was y/n’s call” someone says behind you.

You close your eyes, anticipating all the questions he has, but he remains silent. You stare at your AD who understands your queue, rushing everyone for a break. After all these years, you still feel suffocated despite promising to push him out of your memories.

You notice that he doesn’t leave immediately, instead grabbing a chair close to you. His hair falls in front of his eyes as he stares at the grass below you.

“You’ve changed a lot,” he says, his voice hoarse, fingers fidgeting with the pen you were using. You don’t really know how to respond.

After all those years, is that all he was going to say? After ghosting you for months, after removing you from his life so cruelly, you find his audacity baffling.

“Obviously I’ve changed, you’d know earlier if you’d even left me a text,” you reply in spite. You see his fidgeting stop, instead holding it so tight that it digs into his palm.

“I had my reasons,” he whispers. You scoff visibly irritated.

"Don't play with me Jungwon," his name rolls off your tongue just as smoothly as it did so many years ago. More tears threaten to spill, and you're afraid of people observing the two of you, knowing how rumours spread.

You get up in a haste, and walk towards the washrooms. Jungwon follows behind wary, eventually pulling you away from the main set, until you reach a building close by. You stop, with your back against the wall as he gets closer.

"Why would you think I'm playing with you y/n," you hear him say, tears rolling down his big eyes.

You didn't have the energy to ask him anything. Unlike your racing thoughts, the silence surrounding the two of you was comforting. Saying anything meant confronting a truth buried deep in the past.

As though he could understand your distress, he lets out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry y/n," he finally says, confirming something you've wanted to hear for so long. "I was scared."

The tears from your eyes don't stop either as he continues.

"I had just debuted back then, and my career was on the line."

Your sobs get louder, and you feel pain inching closer to your fears, all stuck in your suffocated heart. So far, you'd guessed the reason as to why he disappeared so abruptly. Hearing it directly from him made it worse. "I loved you, I really did," he says, his hand trying to hold yours, which you shirk away. He pauses.

"I was given an ultimatum," he becomes softer. "I didn't know how to tell you. I knew it would hurt us."

You clench your fists, looking at everything else he could've said.

"It still hurt us didn't it?" you whisper.

You see him nod slowly. You pull yourself off the wall, reaching into your pocket, fetching for tissues. When you find some, you hold some out for him to take. Both of your eyes had become puffy, and it didn't help how obvious it was that there was tension between you. It must've been half an hour since you had left the site, and the others must've noticed your absence.

"Why don't you head on, my AD will continue the shoot" you say, trying to hail a taxi as you walk onto the busy road.

"Please don't run away ," he pulls you back, now pinned against the wall. "Don't leave me again y/n," you feel him lean his head on the wall, next to you. He looks beyond fatigued and instinctively you feel your hands go behind his broad shoulders, rubbing his back.

"I really missed you," he whispers continuously, breaking down in your arms.

"I missed you too Jungwon, so much that I'd even collect your posters just to see your face," you confess. You notice him smile slightly, before he giggles. "I'd never imagine you to do that," he says and you match his laugh, somewhat embarrassed.

For the first time in a long time, Yang Jungwon saw you smile. It was as gorgeous as he remembered it, as inviting as it had always been. Unlike the Seoul that remained so stale, your smile brought life into the city. It brought life into the last ten years that he couldn't find.

Your lips arched into the perfect 'U' and all he wanted to do was feel them on his. His hands go behind your neck as he looks into your eyes. "Can I kiss you," he whispers gently. You don't reply, instead pulling him in as if you desperately waited those 10 years for him to say this.

All these years you didn't realise what you missed, until this fateful kiss. In this moment, it didn't matter what your past was, or what the future would hold. Nothing mattered now, as long as you were wrapped up between his arms, tethered to his lips.

Wahh sorry for the delay guys. I have my finals in less than 2 weeks so I haven't gotten to writing yet 😭

#enhypen imagines #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #yang jungwon imagines #yang jungwon fanfictions #jungwon imagines #jungwon x reader

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gffa · 5 months

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for the character ask game! dick grayson: 5, 16, 25

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them? Lmao please don't ask me this question, because I have zero musical taste--and I don't mean I have bad musical taste, I mean I have no taste whatsoever, I barely listen to music, and I have no funny suggestions! (Mostly because I don't care for most of the ~jokes~ about his physical body.) 16. What's your least favorite ship for this character? Fandom has made it extremely hard to like a lot of other Dick ships because literally half the fandom can't stop tearing down Dick/Babs to build up their ship, which means there's nothing there for me to like, all it does is make me think there's not much there, if the only content to come up with is ranting about another ship. Nobody's obligated to like Dick/Babs, nobody's even obligated to not rant about it, I know where my scroll button is, but also all it does is push me further away from the ship that was supposedly being sold in that post, because it seems like an unfun place to be. But my actual least favorite ship for Dick is probably Bruce/Dick because it's so close to what I want out of that relationship, except also a thousand miles away from it! Honestly, one of my oldest friends is a Bruce/Dick shipper and the overlap we have of views on the characters is probably like 85%, we just diverge on how that plays out and we both feel extremely strongly about how we dislike the other path, but that we respect the other person being on it. We both are really into the fucked up entanglement of the characters, the mirroring aspect they have of each other, the belief that the other is the pure version of who they're meant to be, the frustration of how much they love the other while also being mad at them for the distance between them, the co-dependent disaster relationship, etc. All of that is the same for both of us, we just diverge on the context for it. Which is fine in our friendship, we meet in the middle, but there have been times when I feel like the ship would be so delicious for me, because it would tunnel vision in on those aspects I like, but the thought of them so much as even smooching makes me look like I bit into a lemon. How dare fandom almost give me what I want and then take it away from me!!!! Like, I don't actually care that it exists as a ship, fiction is not in a 1:1 relationship with reality and I think a lot of us get blinded by how modern comics go hard on the father & son aspect, which I am into and think is fair to evolve them into, but that wasn't always true and it's not like Bruce/Dick came out of nowhere. It just denies me personally what I want and therefore it it is The Worst For Me Personally And Thus Jail For DC Fandom For One Thousand Years!!!! 25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now? Dick Grayson is my longest running Blorbo, like that guy invented Blorboism for me, before I ever had such a name for the concept. Dick Grayson has been my One True Character for 20+ years, nobody has ever unseated him, not Anakin, not Obi-Wan, not Thor, not Usagi, not Duo, not Tezuka, NONE OF THEM that I've lost my mind about. Dick Grayson came on the scene for me when I first watched B:TAS and hit my tiny little baby brain with his daddy issues on display and excellent Nightwing design in later episodes and the push-and-pull relationship with Babs and my fannish life has never been the same since. "That it. That's him. That's the one. That's the character I'm going to obsess over for the rest of my life." I must have said when I first saw him and I HAVE NOT BEEN PROVEN WRONG YET.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #dick grayson #character ask game

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spoofymcgee · 3 months

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alright i've watched death in heaven and i've entirely revised my take on clara's character to the point where i think the 6k character study of her i finished last night is just. totally inaccurate and wrong.

my original perception of her was based on the fact that the narrative and the doctor's perspective both try very hard to make her a good character. she's the doctor's companion, which means she has to be good and kind and nice.

except that she isn't.

clara oswald is special. and she knows it. she's different from everyone else–there's something exceptional, something remarkable about her–why else would she get to travel the universe with the doctor? she isn't like everyone else, and she likes knowing that. it makes her feel powerful and better and bigger and in control.

she wants to have everything normal people have and more, to prove that she can live a regular life and run out in the middle of the day to save a planet, and this is what keeps proving to her that she's important.

she's the impossible girl–there's something different about her, and as long as that is true she's worth something.

which is not to say that she's bad: she's a little callous and sometimes cruel, she isn't very compassionate or sympathetic, but on the whole she has a basic set of morals.

and it's fine, for a while, i think.

but she fits everything into very specific boxes, including people, and knows where they go and of not how to control them than at least how to work around them.

and then the doctor changes, and she's not there to see it, and he regenerates, and she is there for that.

and he doesn't act like she's learned to expect, she can't rely on him, he doesn't treat her like she's special anymore, he's more critical, more honest, and she gets afraid.

she can't predict him anymore, and she's also afraid that he's getting too close to really seeing her, or maybe just stopping to pretend that he hasn't already. and somewhere, maybe subconsciously, she wants him to think that she's good and kind, wants to keep believing that she is, and she's just as afraid as he is that she isn't a good person.

and that's the crux of the problem with the doctor and clara's dynamic–they're too similar. that's why, in hell bent, the doctor doesn't need clara to figure out what's going on–he never has.

the doctor needed clara because he needed someone to believe he was good when he didn't. even if she couldn't convince him, he needed someone there to see him as good. twelve spends a lot of time thinking about whether or not he is good, whether or not he can be trusted, what kind of man he is and wants to be.

eleven spent the last three hundred years of his life defending a planet of innocent people who he got involved with his war. he watched them fight and die and tried to save them and knew that, in some very real ways, it was his fault.

as eleven, the doctor got big. the doctor got important. the doctor became a legend and a god and a figurehead and a nightmare and he doesn't know which one of those things cancel the others out.

so he needs someone there who just sees him as the doctor, plain and simple.

to clara, the doctor isn't important because he's a good man, or he does good things, or because she cares about him as a person. he's important because he proves that she's different from everyone else, that she's special–he's her path to the stars, to singularity.

oh, i don't think she knows that. i think she wants to believe–and does, maybe–that she loves him, that he's her friend, the one person she'll never leave behind. that's what she's supposed to feel. but the second something happens that isn't supposed to, the second her life diverges from the narrative she wants it to have, her first course of action is to try and force the doctor to do what she wants by threatening his life and freedom.

and that's good enough for twelve. if he's a tool to her then he's not a god, and she's controlling enough that if he spins too far out from good she'll pull him back so she doesn't lose him, and doesn't lose the sway she has over him.

my proof for this in clara's character is the way danny's story ends.

she didn't object to the fact that he died. in the end, she more or less killed him. for a girl whose first plan when the only person she loves dies is to threaten to kill herself and her best friend in a volcano, she gives up very easily.

if this was a story about how much she's unwilling to let danny go–which it seems to be–then she shouldn't care what he wants. she should be trying to make him stay, or at least convincing him, she should be crying, she should be screaming and trying to stop the doctor from flipping the switch.

but instead she offers to do it. she stands there quietly and demurely holding him while everything wraps up.

clara was more upset by the fact that he died in a boring, ordinary way than the fact that he died, because ordinary, normal death didn't fit into the story of danny-the-hero, danny-the-soldier, danny-who-saved-the-world. she is not ordinary and so she is owed a star-crossed love story by the universe and star-crossed lovers are not separated by car accidents.

but if he dies a hero, if he sacrifices himself to save her and everyone on earth, if he's special, then she gets to keep being special by association, gets to be the woman he loved so much he resisted cyberman brainwashing for, the woman he saved the world for.

for clara, traveling with the doctor while maintaining her normal life is a litmus test of how special she is, and because she is special she is owed the life she thinks she should have by the universe. danny is part of what she is owed, and part of the reason she is owed it.

for the doctor, clara is the only person he has to rely on to see him as a man and measure whether or not he is still good, still doing the right thing, still staying within the lines.

neither of them are ever going to give each other up, and they both believe so strongly that if they express any genuine attachment and strong desire to keep travelling together then they'll scare the other off. so they won't even admit how attached they are to each other, and they won't walk away even though they keep pretending they will, because they need each other like air.

the second the doctor loses clara or clara loses the doctor, the illusion collapses, and they're going to have to see who they really are inside.

and. god. that's so fascinating to me.

#doctor who #clara oswald #twelfth doctor #twelve #death in heaven #heaven sent #analysis #maybe this counts as salt but i'm not intending it that way #i don't hate clara or the doctor and i don't think they're bad or evil #i think they're messy and selfish and complicated in a fascinating way that we don't get to see that often #and it makes me want to eat drywall

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wangxianficfinder · 9 months

Text

Fic Finder

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1. hello im looking for a fic where wwx and lwj are married but wwx died. wwx is interred in lotus pier and wangxian's kids go to see him and ask him to wake up, iirc. also it seemed unfinished or part of a series bc at the time i read it, the fic ends with wwx still dead. thank you so much for all that you do i hope your dinners are always good ♥️

FOUND? A Baby Dragon's Guide To Seducing Your Huli Jing by sweetlolixo (M, 87k, wangxian, fantasy au, dragon LWJ, fox WWX, younger LWJ, older WWX, fluff, humor, happy ending, WIP)

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2. Hi! I want to ask about a fic I read some time ago.

It was about a Canon Divergence where WWX and the Wens disappeared and years later they come back. They have formed a new sect and were hidden in the Wen territory. And I remember they had as a kind of dome with a fog or something in the Wen territory. And something happens that WWX and the Wens has to return and at the beginning doesn't want to talk to LWJ and always the one that speaks for him is WQ.I hope you can help me find this fic, I'd love to read it again. Thank you for everything 🤗💜 @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! 💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags)

Not FOUND! Identity Porn AU by ShanaStoryteller

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3. Hi! I've just watched the trailer for the movie "red, white and royal blue" and I remembered reading a wangxian fic based on that novel too!! I cannot find it anymore tho? Does anyone remember that fic? Thank you all guys for your amazing support!! @jaecomments

FOUND! History, Huh? by BaconnEggs (M, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, RWARB AU basically, Modern Royalty, First Son, International Relations, Diplomacy, Multimedia, Miscommunication, Mischief, Royalty, First Kiss, Implied Sexual Content, Friends With Benefits, Oblivious, Sexuality Crisis, Non-Graphic Smut, Secret Relationship, Fade to Black, YZY is a Good Parent, WangXian Being WangXian, Chatting & Messaging, First Time, Twitter) could it be this one? i haven't read it but it's the only one i could find that fits.

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4. Hii! I'm looking for this fanfic where Wei ying got cursed or something like that. Because of that he can't see (and feel? hear?) Lan Zhan, Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi, Jiang Cheng (and Jin Ling?). To break the curse they have to admit their true feelings towards him and wei ying has to acknowledge and accept them. He thinks they all hate him, but that is obviously not the case ^^

I hope you can find it.

FOUND? See Me, Feel Me (Listening to You) by Ghost_Honey (T, 29k, wangxian, JC & WWX, LSZ & WWX, JL & WWX, LJY & WWX, WWX pov, WWX needs a hug, and gets several, WWX’s abysmal self-esteem, emotional healing, angst, curses, JC & WWX reconciliation, hurt/comfort, cuddling)

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5. Hi!!!! I'm looking for a texting fic, it's set in the regular mdzs verse (not modern, but like they just invented a version of texting) LXC is like a massive hoe in it. Please help, I'm getting desperate here, Thanks @sad-stucky-shipper-107

FOUND? Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 75k, LWJ/WWX/MXY, chat fic, canon compliant, memes, polyamory, not everyone dies au)

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6. Hey, I have been looking for this fic for a very very loooong time, and still unable to find it. I hope you can find it for me

Here is all the things that I remember of that fic:

- modern setting

-lwj is an actor or singer (not sure which one 🤔)

- established wwx/lwj-i think wwx is a reporter/paparazzi

-there is a part where other reports think that lwj is dating mianmian

That's all I can remember so far. Hope you can find it 🤞@mayavsworld

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7. Hi! Please help me find this fic. It was post canon. LJY night hunting with LSZ, but only LJY come back to Gusu with LSZ's head ribbon. WWX took the news hard that i think its mentioned that he fall sick after that. I think LWJ went to where the night hunt happened and kill the snake yao to at least find LSZ body to have a burial but come out empty. I think it was chaptered fic but im not sure. At near the end of the story, in LP, LSZ turn up and make JWY shocked. He than tells JWY that the snake yao didnt killed him and he get lost when he is trying to go home. Thats all i remember. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

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8. a fanfic where wei ying's parents aren't married and he gets turned into a slave @lydiablackrose

FOUND? To Be Known by kat8cha (M, 4k, LXC/JGY, pre-3zun, wangxian, mildly dubious consent, Captive Prince fusion, sex work, master/pet, something made them do it, non-con situation, emperor NMJ, WIP/discontinued)

FOUND? Leash the Wind by ladyshadowdrake (E, 71k, wangxian, LXC/JGY, NHS/JC, Captive Prince fusion, emperor LXC, fluff & angst, slow burn, dub con, extensive world building, WIP)

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9. Hey, I was hoping you could help me find a wanxian fic where wei wuxian gives himself to the Lans to be cleansed from resentful energy in exchange for the Wen's safety. The wens move to cloud recesses, I think. Lan wangji uses his qin to purge the resentment and unknowingly nearly kills wei wuxian. His body starts to deteriorate back to when he had injured himself in the fall to the burial mounds.

FOUND? decay by antebunny (G, 15k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Misunderstandings, Miscommunication, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, the fluffiest ending, Hurt/Comfort)

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10. There’s a fic I can’t track down. It was a bottom Lan Wangji one. I think wwx had been fantasizing about oral sex for a while and I have a rather distinct memory of Lan Wangji sitting down next to him at his desk and sucking on his fingers. The situation may or may not have had something to do with some p0rn Huaisang sent them, my memory is very hazy :’D

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11. Hello! Jealous lwj au. Wen ning and wwx are friends. wwx loves making lwj jealous because he gets railed so hard when lwj is jealous and angy. then one time it got too much, wwx suggested hugging or doing something sketchy with wen ning during a party. wwx promised wn that it'll be the last time. then lwj saw it, but sadness was seen in his face not the usual anger that wwx wants from lwj. lwj runs away from the party and lwj throws their ring. then wwx ran after him crying begging. THANK YOU! @jamebyeol-blog

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12. hello!

there was a particular fic where wei wuxian learns how to weild his sword all over again and sword fights with lan wangji under the moonlight and lam wangji is extremely turned on by it.

wei wuxian tries to pick up sword fighting and challenges lan wangji

this and any other wangxian sword fighting fic works too!! @lalalalan

REC: 与其身后名 | immaculate by auberjing (E, 15k, wangxian, wuxia au, courtesan LWJ, angst w happy ending, revenge, pining, virgin LWJ, getting together, major illness, blood & injury, martial arts, cottagecore, ritual sex, alcohol, mutilation, near death experiences, recovery, implied/referenced torture, bottom LWJ)

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13. Hi, sorry to bother, I have two requests for finding a fic. I wanted to know if anyone remembers A) a fic where A Yuan goes with Wei Wuxian to Jin Ling's A one month celebration. This someone changes the way things go. B) Also another one where A Yuan shows up with Wei Wuxian when he's discussing the Wens being prisoners so people see that there are children in the prisoners camps!! Any story where A Yuan changes things for the better before Wei Wuxian's death. Thank you, be well @monicaop21

Hi, thanks for your help but is not the fic I'm looking for, I think it was complete and I do remember A-Yuan is in Koi Tower, he arrives with Wei Wuxian there. Be well!!

13A)

Not FOUND I whatever you, I will stand by your side by Lizziewriter07 (M, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Canon JC, Bitter WWX, Cultivation world Bashing, dadxian, Sexual Tension, Pining, Protective LWJ, SongXiao Get a Happy Ending, Protective WQ)

Not FOUND! The Core Issue by Hauntcats (T, 21k, WangXian, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence)

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14. Looking for a fic that was on ao3. I remember there was two versions, one where WWX was a man and another where he was a woman and he decided to fake his death I think? And leave the cultivation world behind. He/she had twin sons that were A-Yuan and Jingyi I believe and then in the end LWJ who is the father of the twins but he doesn’t know it, fakes his death and finds them by an anonymous tip *cough cough* NHS who had tried to get WWX to rejoin the cultivation world earlier when NMJ died. @bigmeatycl0ws

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15. y’all are doing the gods work with this blog and this is coming from an atheist XD

anywho i’m looking for a specific fic (or was it series?) where the premise is the swords are spirits that can manifest in a human body. wwx is one such sword called suibian, as is lwj. the story starts (i think) with wwx being jc’s sword and they don’t really get along/harmonise (big surprise)

there’s some world building of a story of xxc being a self wielding sword and getting tricked by xy and either doing bad stuff and then dying or just dying.

uh it ends with wwx and lwj proving to the golden tower (the peeps that hold the swords because they’re too innocent or whatevs to be alone out in the wild) that they can handle their own. there’s a line in there about how they’re not self-wielding swords, but swords that wield each other.

wwx was previously lwj’s human under the name wwx something one or both of them forgot.

there’s some scene after about wwx meeting jc’s new sword and there being some antagonism between them (new sword throwing tantrum and wwx being chaotic but solving the problem as usual)???

think author said it was inspired slightly by touken ranbu? or some other sword person anime/game thing?

this is so detailed it’s bothering me so much but i can’t find it and i’m at the point where i’m doubting if it existed ;-; @tabbycallie

FOUND! swords, i guess by victortor (T, 26k, wangxian, swords au, asexual character, asexual LWJ)

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16. Please help me find a fic! I think it was a WWX's Parents Live fic, but I can't be sure. I remember that LQR had a good opinion of him at the start of the guest lectures. There's a scene where LQR is talking about talismans, and has WWX take out all of the talismans he has on him. WWX has a whole system set up for combat talismans in one sleeve and general use talismans in the other, and he lectures about their unique uses and value and a bunch of sect heirs get angry at him for showing them up, and I think there's a fight later? But I really don't remember much beyond that. @lewiscarrolatemybrain

FOUND! From the Warm Sun by sunshine_sparrow (T, 58k, WangXian, CSSR & WWX, CSSR & LQR, Discussion of Rape, Period-Typical Sexism, Mostly CQL but probably some MDZS too, CSSR Lives, Madam Lán Lives, Qingheng-jun lives, But WCZ Still Dies, Fix-It, Happy Ending, All Soft and Very Little Angst, the wens live, Yīn Iron, Good Person MY, Good Person LQR) The scene with the talismans is in chapter 4.

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17. Hello, thank you guys for all of your hard work! Don’t remember if this was book or cql canon but im looking for a fic where post WWX death lwj travels to another world where wwx is still alive during the cr lectures and older lwj, young WWX and young lwj end up sleeping together and then nhs comes and brings lwj back to their og world fulfill his grand plan

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18. Hi! I have already asked this before but i can't remember the title again. So i am asking for your help once again.

So like, the cultivation world needs yiling laozu's help and they tried to summon him using mo xuanyu but they failed since yl Iz appeared in his own original body and not in mxy. Anyway so history repeats itself, wwx knows everybody especially lan zhan cuz he his "friend" that time. They became curious about wwx, they found his journal and he kept talking about this certain friend eventually they found out the friend's name is lan zhan lan wangji. Time skip they found out that Iwj reincarnated, he looks exactly the same as wwx's friend. Lxc said it was impossible cuz all their ancestors died because of an explosion that was caused by wwx back in the day.

There is this spefic scene, wwx kept blaming himself because he was the reasom why Iz died, ok so Iz married a woman (arranged marriage) and had child with her, wy was heartbroken and told Iz that he has feelings for him, Iz also has feelings for him, so when Iz heard that the sects will have a siege in burial mounds he went there and protected wy then something happened and the surroundings explode.

Anyway, they have come to a conclusion that wy is an immortal, he took care of Iz's child, Iz reincarnated he fought really hard to keep his body and appearance the same @hellothere9597

I know I’ve read this one but I can’t remember the name and all the tags I think should be in there aren’t :’) ~Mod L

FOUND? Old Foreshadows by protos_metazu_ison (M, 15k, WangXian, YLLZ WWX, BAMF WWX, War, Universe Alteration, Sunshot Campaign, [Podfic] Old Foreshadows by Saint_tuesday)

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19. Ok I'm looking for a fic I read years ago where we have amateur porn channel, lwj is submissive full time and wwx calls him bunny, he's the Dom in the relationship but lwj is the top. It's all lwj pov and he's alone at home and horny but holding back bc he's not allowed to cum without permission even when he's alone. Idk I'm just needing some sub lwj in my life. Thanks so much!

FOUND? The impatient rabbit by BCat13 (E, 3k, WangXian, Somnophilia, BDSM, Dom WWX, Sub LWJ, top LWJ, Bottom WWX, Soft Dom WWX, Service Sub LWJ, Bunny LWJ, Emotionally overwhelmed LWJ, Breeding Kink, Exhibitionism, Art)

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20. hey! can anyone help me find this wangxian fic set in the burial mounds days where jgs (?) found this one artifact that would enable him to see inside of the burial mounds, called a meeting with all the sects and everyone saw that they were harmless or something among those lines, thanks!

FOUND? A Step in the Wrong Direction by pupeez4eva (Not rated, 4k, wangxian, canon divergence, humor, everyone realizes WWX and the wens are innocent, the Jins have a lot of answering to do, JGS pov)

FOUND? Through A Looking Glass by Purplepulu (Not rated, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, Families of Choice, Wēn Remnants Live, Fix-It of Sorts, Creepy JGS, JZX Tries, Cultivators with One brain cell, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Angst w Happy Ending, Oblivious WWX, Pining LWJ, Matchmaker LXC, Mastermind NHS, Traumatized A-Yuan, Fluff, NMJ Lives, Soft NMJ, BAMF WWX, POV LXC, POV JGS, Protective JYL, JZN Being an Asshole, Everyone Lives au, Except for JZN, Good Sibling JC)

FOUND? Revealing Truth by DreamNightmare (G, 2k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It)

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#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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