#I've never felt so at home in a fandom before -goes to cry into my cat squishmallow-

[erxsxre-archived]

I see that ask anon :O but I do have to sleep as its almost 4am so he will answer tomorrow and I will also get back to my drafts, thank you all for the asks tonight I've been laughing my head off for hours. ❤️

[kyojurismo]

I don't know If this counts as an Emergency Request and I know I've already made like two, but can I have an emergeny request?!

I'm just now realizing how freaking messed up I am with comfort and knowing when I need help and Why I want and hate physical contact so much!

I'm terrified when people start yelling and I get really shaking and -twitchy when people start raising their voices becuase I associate loud voices with "physical punishment"

I hate asking for emotinal support becuase I'm afraid of being pushed aside and scolded. I'm now realizing why I want to be hugged with so much force and just scream!

I'm asking for Kyojuro, Tengen and his wives, Akaza and Sanemi in a scenario where fem reader is remebering her home life as a child so she suddenly gets really jumping, twitchy, emotinal, and anxious, but refuses to admit she needs help becuase actaully aknowleging it terrifies her, but then she hears someone loudly yelling and breaks down just wanting to squeeze and scream and becuase her family relationship, she doesn't know how to react when she is just genuinly comforted.

Please, I'm really wanting some comfort right now, even if its just ficton.

▸ ANSWERING. i’m in super delay and i deeply apologise. i’m not sure i actually did justice to this kind of feeling… i hope that’s okay and that it’ll help you a bit <3 i’m sending you a big big hug 🫂

▸ FANDOM. kimetsu no yaiba

▸ CHARACTERS. kyojuro rengoku x fem!reader, tengen uzui & wives x fem!reader, sanemi shinazugawa x fem!reader, akaza x fem!reader

▸ RATING. sfw

▸ WARNINGS. this is my first time writing for akaza i’m shaking, tension, crying, childhood trauma, angst but with comfort, not proofread ofc. lemme know if i missed something !!

KYOJURO RENGOKU

kyojuro is checking senjuro's training, giving him advice and such, while you're cleaning the living area. you remember a moment from when you were young, casually: it's your mother scolding you because you're crying, then your father is here too... you sigh heavily and shake your head, as if to get rid of that memory.

you're unconsciously trembling the whole time, but keep on cleaning. every noise starts to get you more and more nervous, until you hear shinjuro calling kyojuro's name from his room, his tone always so rude, that you break down.

you fall on the ground, hiding your teary face and heavily shaking. kyojuro notices and is soon by your side, checking on you. senjuro goes to their father instead, avoiding him getting angry.

"y/n, what's wrong?" he asks you, trying to gently move your hands from your face. "i'll... i can handle this," you quickly reply, pushing him away. kyojuro frowns, not truly understanding the situation. "i just need to finish cleaning," you whisper and try to grab the cloth you were using to clean the table before kyojuro stops you.

"why are you crying?" he tries again, searching for your eyes. "i'm not crying!" you snap at him, not really making him back away. "baby..." it is as if you're crying even more at this point. kyojuro pulls you against his chest, circling you with his arms.

he's warm, his perfume is comforting and familiar, his big hands are caressing your back gently, soothing you. "w-what are you doing?" you ask, trying to move in his embrace. "i'm comforting you. you're not alone, darling," he caresses your wet cheek and smiles down at you. "i'm here for you, when you're feeling good and when you're down, you don't have to push away your feelings, or else it will get worse."

you stare into his glowing eyes, listening in silence. you've never felt like this before. you were used to force yourself to simply push forward when you were feeling down or overwhelmed, your parents never truly comforted you and kyojuro doing it so loving made a new wave of tears streaming down your cheeks.

"it's okay, let it out."

TENGEN, HINATSURU, MAKIO AND SUMA UZUI

[the memory is pretty much the same for the tengen & sanemi too]

you let a plate fall on the floor, making hinatsuru, who's standing by your side, jump. "wait, don't move..." she says, before kneeling down to gather the broken pieces before throwing them away. "i'm so sorry," you say on the verge of tears.

hina simply shakes her head and smiles at you. "we have plenty of plates, honey," she chuckles, before resuming washing the rest of dirty dishes.

you follow her example and keep drying the now clean dishes. in the back of your head you hear your father shouting at you for breking something and you jump, making another plate fall and break. hinatsuru turns towards you, nothing your distressed expression.

"lord tengen is gonna get mad... i'm so sorry, hinatsuru!" you cry, even though deep inside you know tengen rarely raised his voice at the four of you. "oh baby... don't worry about the plates, no one will scold you for breaking them," she tries to assure you, taking your hand.

makio comes into the kitchen, noticing the broken plate. "what happened?? someone tried to attack you?!" she raises her voice due to preoccupation, checking the whole area to make sure nobody is there to hurt you. "an attack?!" here comes suma. "hey!" tengen enters the kitchen too, to see what's the matter.

"he will get angry, he will scold me again, he will..." you curl up on the floor, cutting your hand with one of the broken pieces but you can't notice it. you're repeating the two phrases over and over, hina and tengen are the first to notice.

"there's nothing, calm down," makio pushes suma away, sighing. "but what if he’s hiding?" she cries, looking around nervously. "don't be dumb, how can he hide when there's five of us here?!"

"shut up!" hinatsuru shouts at the two, making you flinch. tengen moves closer, moving you away from the broken plate and checking your hand. "dumb baby," he whispers while carefully removing the splinter. "don't get mad at me please," you're crying at this point.

"i didn't wanted to break them, i swear!" you scream right into his face while more and more tears stream down your face. "i don't care about a bunch of boring dishes," tengen assures you deathly serious. "get of the kitchen," he orders the others, who quickly obey and say nothing.

tengen notices you're shaking while staring at the ground. "hey, it's okay," tengen cups your cheeks and kisses your forehead, trying to calm you down. "i... i don't know what to do," you whisper, simply staring at his face. "you’re very nervous baby, why don’t you try breathing with me?”

you follow his suggestion and once you’re more calmed tengen hugs you, cuddling with you. he leaves a few kisses on your head while holding you.

“this is… so comforting,” you mutter against his chest, surprising him. “t-that’s the point,” he stutters, noticing how you never actually asked for help and are the one who’s rarely seen seeking this kind of treatment. “you’re okay, darling.”

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

you’re walking by his side while you two go back to his mansion. he just finished training with iguro and you clearly see he’s a bit tired from the past few days.

when you walk past a little group of slayers, you don’t notice at first but they’re arguing about something. when one of them shouts you jump, bumping into sanemi’s side. “what?” he glances at you and notices something isn’t right. the following screaming and shouting stress you even more, while memories from your childhood take control over your mind.

“what’s wrong?” sanemi asks you, stopping mid track. “n-nothing, i’m alright,” you reply, as if you weren’t clearly shaking and on the verge of tears. “yeah, well that’s bullshit.”

you meet his eyes and flinch back a bit, scared of actually opening up. “i just want to go home…” you try to avoid talking about it and resume walking, moving rapidly. sanemi grunts in response but follows you, staring at you.

once you reach his mansion you’re quick to get the dinner ready, hoping to distract yourself, but you’re failing. sanemi follows your every action and it makes you even more nervous.

if i speak about it, he would push me away and start hating me, stating that i’m weak.

“okay, i’ve had enough of your shit,” he snaps and stops you. he grabs your hands and makes you turn towards him. “you’re all twitchy, you’re holding back tears and you’re clearly distressed. what’s wrong? someone hurt you?” you shake your head, knowing that you would end up crying if you speak. “y/n, i just want to help alright? but i can’t do that if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” sanemi gets more worried as the time pass.

you notice it and you start crying, feeling bad for making him worry so much. “jeez,” sanemi pulls you into an embrace and you hide your face against his chest. “i’m so sorry!” you raise your voice, crying. his hands caress your back slowly, trying to calm you. “it’s okay,” he assures you and rest his chin on your head, keeping you close to his body. “i-i don’t know how i should react, i just don’t know,” you grip his uniform and sniff, shaking a bit. “just let it out, baby.”

sanemi keeps comforting you, making sure you know that he’s here for you and that it’s okay. it’s okay to cry and ask for help.

AKAZA

[i opted for a nightmare in his case, akaza is visiting reader during the night]

you’re turning in your sleep and sometimes little wails leave your lips, you’re sweating. akaza enters into your house and reaches the bedroom. you wake up right before he enters the bedroom and quickly wipe your tears, catching your breath.

dreaming your parents scolding and yelling at you is the last thing you expected. you’re feeling as if your every next move would be the wrong one and someone will appear to scold you, making you feel small and useless.

“you okay?” he kneels beside your futon and notices your status. “mh, i just had a nightmare. it’s okay,” you reply, trying your best to get over it soon. “you wanna cuddle for a while?” akaza asks, a gentle smile appears on his face. “oh, um… why would i?” you genuinely ask, confusing him a bit.

“well… i think humans like being comforted after a bad dream,” he scratches his neck while chuckling lowly. “i-i’ve never done that… i mean, i don’t know how…” you stutter and start crying without noticing. akaza frowns and raises his hand to wipe away your tears. “let’s do that, alright,” he says before laying down beside you. he circles your body with his arms and holds you closer to his chest. “t-thank you..?” you whisper, letting him do whatever he please.

akaza caresses your hips slowly, kissing your cheeks every once in a while. “i love you,” he mutters against your skin. “i’ll always be with you,” he promises. you scoot closer and smile, taking one of his hands into yours.

▸ BEFORE LEAVING. reblog and comments are super appreciated. well i hope it wasn’t too bad because it started to suck for me lol lol lol

[jewish-vents]

(Post this anonymously, please!!)

I am an artist with an 8k+ follower blog which I have been active on for over 12 years. I've always felt safe here and have considered it my internet home. After October, watching the amount of people in my fandoms and artists who I had admired and found community with who immediately went full-in on a very black and white, aggressively conspiratorial and antisemitic brand of pro-Palestine activism, my idea of community here and my place in it was totally shaken. It was like I had put on a pair of glasses that allowed me to see the latent radicalization that had been going on around me, and the pervasive antisemitism that exists, unacknowledged, in nominally pro-social justice leftist spaces.

The loneliest part is that it feels like, with few exceptions, only other Jews can see it. Even the gentile friends who i love most and who would unquestionably stand up for me are just not attuned to the dogwhistles enough to see 95% of it. It's like living in a bubble reality, unable to take these glasses off, while everyone else goes on as if everything is the same.

Yesterday, I logged in, and saw image attached from a gentile artist i'd followed for months, who had never before given me a reason to feel unsafe. Their tags read "don't come in my inbox to debate this, i have no interest and will not change my mind." I wanted to cry from frustration- this person likely has no understanding of how revoltingly antisemitic this post was because they have no understanding of the complexity of what "zionism" actually means, and, as they've made clear, they have no interest in learning or being told they're mistaken. There are so few of us (Jews) here- how the hell are we ever supposed to combat this? The worst part was that it had 98 likes, and zero replies suggesting that any of them saw a problem with this or disagreed.

I myself never really understood zionism before this- I am ashamed to say that I took a lot of the twisted definitions held by gentiles in my progressive social media spaces without question, and thought that because I believed in Palestinian self-determination, I must be an anti-zionist by definition. It took the "glasses" coming on in the time since October for me to fully learn and to understand that while the nuances of the term go deep, to the majority of my people, basic "zionism" means belief in Jewish-self determination in Eretz Yisrael, and that when many gentiles say "Zionist," they just mean "bad Jew."

In all of this mess there's one thing i'm grateful for, and it's that, even as i've lost community in unfollowing/blocking previous mutuals and acquaintances who've shown their incuriosity and prejudice, this shakeup has driven me to find community with other Jews on this site and a greater curiosity about and sense of belonging in my culture in the real world. I can't be mad that my eyes are open, because i've only lost community that wouldn't accept me as I am, and am gaining community that does, that shares my struggles and that sees the world in ways compatible with my values. When I look at my activity tab and see notifications from my mutuals now, I feel safe knowing that I have been honest, shared the truth of me, and that they have chosen to stick around, whoever they are. I love you all.

[fairy-writes]

For the 800 Follower Event - My second request

I have been in love with the song 'My Heart is Buried in Venice by Ricky Montgomery' and a lot of other pieces by him as well. The amount of times I've cried over this specific song is....a lot.

Specifically the lyrics below hitting way close to home when I was in a relationship. Feeling like you were the only one who loved the other can be even more heartbreaking than the break-up. (this was years ago)

"Say, say what you mean Tell me the truth or tell me you're through Oh, oh, oh, don't leave me to breathe Don't leave me to bleed For someone who chose to leave me be"

I know that I am asking for something rather...odd. But instead of it going the Viktor x Reader break-up route. Could it somehow be end happy?

Like if Viktor is on the outskirts of this debacle? Or the comforting friend-to-lover troupe?

I hope this wasn't super annoying >///<

Thank you

MY HEART IS BURIED IN VENICE

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Arcane: League of Legends (2021)

Pairing(s): Viktor x Gender Neutral!Reader

Song: My Heart is Buried in Venice by Ricky Montgomery

Notes: I seriously struggled with this one. I hope it actually makes sense. I’m running on four hours of sleep after an eight-and-a-half-hour workday. 

This takes place after the Hexcore kills Sky.

__________________________________________________________________________

Viktor lay awake late into the night. He glanced over at the clock on your side of the bed. It ticked away on the bedside table, illuminated by the moonlight. 

2:13 AM. 

You were halfway onto his side of the bed, one arm tossed over his chest and head almost on his pillow. You were always like this at night, migrating from your side over to his in an attempt to preserve body warmth. No matter how many blankets you had on your side, you always told him he was warmer than any blanket you could own. 

It was something that generally made him smile. 

But not tonight.

Come rest your bones next to me

And toss all your thoughts to the sea

I'll pull up each of our anchors

So we can get lost, you and me

Eventually, Viktor couldn’t take it anymore and got out of bed. He slid the pillow that usually propped up his leg under your arm so you could still sleep with something. And he couldn’t help but smile as you held it close.

It was one of the many things he loved about you. 

My heart is buried in Venice.

Hidden beneath all my worries and doubts

My heart is buried in Venice

Waiting for someone to take it home

Viktor made it to his study down the hall without too much noise and turned on the lamp, illuminating the room in a soft yellow glow. He took a seat at the desk and pulled out a page from a journal set aside. 

It was the leather-bound journal you gave him for his birthday. Part of him felt terrible ripping out a page, but you always told him to use it for whatever he wanted. 

And he had to get this out of his system before he lost his mind. 

Even when you try to hide it

A smile creeps out from your teeth

I never thought that I would have to say I'm sorry

For anyone but me

The first try goes terribly. Viktor barely gets out a sentence before he crumples up the page and throws it into the wastebasket next to the desk. 

The second try doesn’t go much better. 

It’s by the fourth or fifth letter (he’s lost track) that he realizes he’s crying. Tears drip down his cheeks and stain the page, smudging the ink. And when he tries to wipe away the moisture, he just succeeds in getting ink on his fingers. 

Now my heart is buried in Venice

Waiting for someone to take it home

Why is this so hard? It’s just words on a page. Words he’s been stewing on for over a week. A week of agonizing about what he’ll say when he actually sits down to write this damn letter. 

He hears a noise down the hall but pays it no mind. He can check in a minute as soon as he starts this letter with the right words. 

Say, say what you mean.

Tell me the truth, or tell me you're through

Oh, oh, oh

Don't leave me to breathe

Don't leave me to bleed

For someone who chose to leave me be

“What are you doing up so late?” Came your tired voice. He turned and saw you standing in the doorway to his study, blanket around your shoulders. He sat back in his chair,

“I was writing a letter.” He said, tapping his ink-stained fingertips against the wood of the desk. You approached and pressed a kiss to his forehead, smoothing his hair out of the way with the hand that wasn’t holding your blanket around your body. 

“A letter to whom?” You asked, and he looked back at his tear-stained page. 

“To Sky.” He said, and your eyes widened marginally before they filled with such love he almost began crying again.

You lean down and kiss him,

“You know it’s not your fault, right?” You whisper, and he nods. He can’t find the words to say. He doesn’t know what he can say that he hasn’t already told you. So instead, he turns back to his letter, mind clear at last. He takes up his pen and begins to write.

My heart is buried in Venice.

Waiting for someone to take it home

Dear Sky,

I know I cannot apologize enough for what happened. I should’ve listened to someone, anyone, about the Hexcore and destroyed it before it caused damage. But I didn’t, and you had to face the consequences. 

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew about your feelings for me. I just didn’t want to face them. And that was cruel to you. And for that, I apologize. 

I had buried my heart because I didn’t want to get hurt. But in reality, I think I was just waiting for someone to take it home.

I just want to let you know that I’m happy. The Hexcore is gone, I have a partner who loves me, and I only hope to be someone you would be proud of. 

I hope you are at rest,

Viktor

[komotionlessqueenmm]

This wasn't supposed to happen, but I'm glad it did.

(3-5)

Short story # 10

Words - 623

Fandom(?) - Type O Negative (Band)

Pairing - Pater Steele X Reader

Summary - Imagine being Peter's best friend, and one night you both were desperate for the touch of another. So you two end up having sex, and you become pregnant with twins. Informing him of this news before he goes out on stage weeks later.

Warning(s) - Cussing.

📝Note(s) - This is a story I wrote ages ago on my Wattpad, and I finally decided to post it here as well. Enjoy.

Pt.) 1 - Pt.) 2 - Pt.) 3 - Pt.) 4 - Pt.) 5

---Night of the show---

Biting her lip (Y/n) paced back and forth in the bathroom. 'I've got to tell him, I can't keep it in any longer.' She thought to herself. "I've gotta tell him now." She panicked needing to say it. Rushing out of the bathroom she jogged to side stage hoping to catch Peter before he went out. "PETER!" She hollered spotting him. "PETER WAIT!" She hollered pulling him back by his arm. "(Y/n)? What's wrong?" He asked giving her his full attention. "Peter I'm pregnant!" She hollered over the crowd as they cheered on the rest of the band. "What?" He asked unsure if he heard her right. "I'm pregnant, and it's yours." She told him having pulled him down to her height. His eyes widened but he was unable to say anything as Kenny dragged him out onto stage. "Get the fuck off of me!" Peter hollered wanting to get back to (Y/n) but when he looked back he was unable to see her anywhere.

After the show was over Peter went looking for (Y/n) knowing she was probably at the hotel he left the venue. Finding her curled up in her bed when he entered his heart calmed, but his stomach did flips her words still ringing in his ears. "(Y/n)." He whispered kneeling beside the bed. "Talk to me." He heard her sniffle making his heart ach. "I'm sorry." She cried softly rolling over to look at him. "Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry about." Peter told her resting his hand on the side of her head. "Is it true?" He asked wanting to hear her say it again. "Yes." She whispered sadly. "Say it." He practically begged a few stray tears of his own falling down. "I'm pregnant, and it's yours Peter Steele." She sobbed quietly as he pulled her into his chest. "Sh it's okay we can make this work." He assured her. "Are you mad at me?" She mumbled into his shoulder.

"No I'm not mad at you, I could never be mad at you. I was just as much part of this as you, if not more so." He whispered in her ear stroking her hair. "I'm scared." She whimpered softly. "Me too." Peter mumbled crying silently with her. "How long have you known?" He asked leaning back to look her in the eyes. "I found out last week." He nodded. "And you're certain?" He asked wanting to be sure. "Yes I went to my doctor to be sure." He breathed out slowly in shock still. "Okay." He mumbled pulling her back into his chest accepting the news a moment later. "What are we going to do?" She asked looking up at him. "I'm not sure yet, but I'm not going to abandon you with the child. I'm going to help with whatever you need me to." He promised sincerely joining her in the bed and keeping her safe in his arms. "I love you, you know that right?" (Y/n) admitted clinging onto his shirt. "I know, love you too." Peter mumbled pulling her in a little closer. "Get some sleep we'll talk more about this later." He told her feeling pretty tired himself. "Okay goodnight Peter." (Y/n) mumbled with a yawn. "Goodnight (Y/n)." He hummed closing his eyes.

The flight home was pretty much the same as the last time, except Peter now knew her sickness wasn't from poor food. He felt quite guilty that he was the reason she was going through all of this, knowing he pressured her into having sex that night. Though she didn't fight the urge just as much as him, he still couldn't help but feel guilty.

[darling-dummy-blogs]

A Dummy's Heartbreak- Victor Li (PT 2)

Summary: Cassandra calls up Victor telling him that she misses him leaving Victor conflicted with his emotions. He decides to go over to her house to check on her. The two end up rekindling something as the night goes on…

Paring: Victor Li x Cassie (OC)

Genre: Angst (With a bit of Fluff)

Warnings: None!

Fandom: Mr. Love Queen's Choice

Word Count: 2.5k

Notes:

Will be mainly focusing around Victor's perspective 

Will go into details about why and how they ended up breaking up. 

Possible Part 3…?

Massive thanks to @little-butterfly-writes for helping with brainstorming ideas for the break up 💜 (Go follow her, if you haven't already~)

So sorry for the delay with this part! With everything taking place, it's been hard to focus and write when I've been anxious and emotional over the situation within the MLQC fandom. Hope you enjoy <3

“I Miss You. I Miss Us..."

Hearing those words made Victor’s heart leap within his chest. He had hoped and dreamed of hearing these words almost everyday after the break up.

Victor remained silent for quite some time, unsure of how to reply to her words. His light breathing was the only thing that could be heard over the phone.

"...V-Victor? Are you still there?" She spoke out once again to him, the nervous tremor in her voice could be heard.

He swallowed, trying to process the words and managed to clear his rapid thoughts as he replied in a soft, yet quiet tone.

"I'm still here…" Before adding the words he wished to speak to her that day she left Loveland, "I miss you too… More than anything. But why are you suddenly telling me this now? It's been four months, Cassie."

"I-I know… I know it's been a while since I spoke to you… I just… Today… I-..." She trailed off, growing rather quiet.

His eyes trailed off from his desk to look at the calendar. His eyes landed on the day in question. His gaze softened. A deep frown appeared on his face.

"...Our third year anniversary…" He finished for her, his voice coming out rather hoarse, the sadness he felt at that moment made his heart ache.

He could faintly hear her sobbing on the other end of the line.

"I-I'm sorry… I shouldn't have called you. I just… I had such a rough day today, I-I couldn't focus.. I-I couldn't do anything right…"

She took a moment to catch her breath before continuing, "A-and then I realized what today was and it all made sense as to why I was acting like this, why I couldn't stop thinking about you.. Why I… miss you…"

"Cassie…" His voice came out soft once again, hearing her cry, utterly broke his heart. "Breathe… It's okay…" He tried to soothe her.

"I'm right here.." He spoke again. "I'm here for you. You know that."

Hearing those words from him, made her sob more, only louder this time. She knew that. Of course she did. But it still hurts that he isn't physically there with her.

"Cassandra." He spoke again, this time slightly firmer than before. "Listen to me… Breathe… I know it hurts. Trust me, I know more than anyone that it hurts."

He paused, as his eyes landed on a picture frame that laid upon his desk, one that he refused to put away since he had last seen her.

The frame contained an image of Cassie's bright smiling face. A photo Victor snuck in while she wasn't looking during one of their dates.

Staring at that photo, made his vision gloss over with tears. She looked so beautiful in that image.

She always did in his eyes. But he could never forget the look on her face, on the day of their break up.

He spoke again, "But you are strong. You can get through this. I know you can…"

"...Not without you by my side, Victor…" She spoke in a solemn tone as she had managed to calm down her sobs, sniffling.

"I-I've tried everything to get you out of my head, but nothing worked. I drank wine, just to try to forget about all the memories we made. But you still won't stubbornly go away…" She let out a sad chuckle at the end.

Victor grew silent again. A single tear slipped down his face as he stared blankly down at his desk. Taking in her words.

At that moment. He knew what he needed to do. He swallowed, as he wiped away his tears, speaking in a firm yet serious tone.

"Where are you right now?"

"I-I'm at home… Why?" Confusion clearly shown within her words.

"I'm coming to see you. Right now." He stood from his chair, gathering his suit jacket and left his office immediately.

--

The drive from Loveland to Cassandra's hometown felt long however, it wasn't too long as Victor pulled into the driveway of Cassie's home.

The anticipation of seeing her once again after such a long departure, made his heart flutter. He took a moment as he parked his car, looking at the house in front of him.

The sun barely began to set as he stared for what seemed like an eternity before unbuckling his seatbelt and stepped out of his car. Smoothening his jacket as he made his way to the door. Hesitating before ringing the doorbell.

A few moments passed by and the door flew open. The two made eye contact. Both stared at each other with wide eyes as though they had never met before.

Victor took in her appearance. He could tell she looked tired; the dark circles under her eyes, followed by how red and puffy her eyes were from crying. He could see the tears that stained her cheeks.

Gosh how he hated being the reason that she was upset. He mentally scolded himself for hurting such a loving girl such as herself. For fighting with her over a matter that she was feeling insecure about four months ago.

At that time, he didn't know what he had done to himself. But when she walked out that door, with that look on her face. He knew he regretted everything he had said to her in that argument.

He blamed himself for the longest time for saying such things to her.

Days if not weeks after the break up he did nothing but drink his sorrows away, threw himself into work to occupy and fill in the hole that she once held. Giving everyone at LFG hell to keep his mind from thoughts of her.

Sleepless nights filled with him crying over her, a side he refused to let anyone see. He wouldn't even want to let her see him like that.

His emotions got the better of him then. But now, seeing her within arms reach.. He wanted nothing more but to hold her and wipe away her tears. To take away her pain…

His eyes filled with tears, but he remained calm. She stared at him quietly with tears in her eyes as well, yet she refused to say anything. Fearing if she did, he'd disappear or she'd start bawling her eyes out once more.

She took a deep shaky breath, speaking out to him

"Come in…"

She opened the door wider for him. Waiting as he silently stepped inside. She shut the door quietly behind him as she wiped at her eyes hastily.

Cassie then gestured to the couch once they were in the living room, sitting down in the exact spot she was sitting before she called him.

He sat down next to her. However after realizing how close he was he slightly scooted away to give her some space.

Both of them remained silent for far too long.

Cassie proceeded to break the ice as she spoke, bringing her legs up to her chest while looking at him, "Why are you here, Victor..?"

"...I had to see you." He spoke as he kept his gaze low to the ground.

"I still don't understand… Why though?"

"Because Cassie… I missed you. Just as much as you missed me. I wanted to see you in person because I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"...Well.. I'm not okay…"

"..." He looked up from the ground to meet her gaze. A tear slid down his face. "...And I'm sorry for being the reason as to why you aren't okay…" He looked down at the ground once again

She frowned at that statement. "Victor…"

"No. I know that I'm the reason. That's why we broke up to begin with. I-I was too harsh with you.. I always have been."

She looked away. Shaking her head as tears filled her eyes. "That isn't the reason we broke up."

"Then what is it?"

"...The reason we broke up was because I was mad and upset with you for what you told me that day. It wasn't that you were harsh with me… because you were far from that."

She looked at him, moving closer to him, hesitating a second before cupping his face within her hands, making him look at her.

"Y-You were an amazing lover. And I loved you so much.. And if I'm being completely honest with myself. I still do love you. I believe that I always will…"

Her hands lightly caressed his skin, he brought his hand up, resting it on top of hers as he stared into her eyes.

Her lips trembled as she continued speaking. Her eyes filled with fresh tears. "But we broke up because of the awful rumors and ideas about my relationship with you that were being spread by numerous people online, especially by Chik. The argument we had that night took part of it but it wasn't the full reason."

"I didn't want to ruin your reputation. And I didn't want others to tear me down… I was insecure and I didn't want to be selfish by continuing to be with you… to have you to myself... that's why I told you that night if you wanted to end it. Then we would..."

He removed her hands from his face, holding her hands within his own, frowning. "Cassandra, you weren't being selfish nor were you going to ruin my reputation. I can now understand why you chose to break up with me."

"I didn't care about what those people were saying online about you, me or our relationship. I never cared about others' opinions but my own… It has always been like that. That was until you came into my life. Your opinion mattered most to me… That's why that day when you told me you were insecure about those rumors, I brushed it off."

"...Because I would never believe their words about you, because I know you. And I love you more than anything in this world. I just wanted to be with you…"

She stared at him in shock. Tears glided down her face as she listened to his every word.

"In hindsight… I should have cared a little more, knowing that you are more vulnerable and easily hurt by others words than I am… That was my error and for that I am sorry…" Tears slipped down his face as he added, "I-I never wanted to lose you, the way that I did."

He let go of her hands, moving to wipe at her tears, resting his forehead against hers. "I still… want to be with you. That's all I've wanted since you left."

He admitted, gazing deeply into her eyes. She stared into his eyes, nearly getting lost in them as she was unsure of how to respond to his words.

She swallowed as her breath hitched when she realized how much closer he was to her, which made her cheeks flush bright red.

Victor took in her expression, his eyes trailing down her face, taking in every feature. His eyes then landed on her slightly parted lips.

He missed everything about her, but in this moment, he missed the soft touch of her lips against his …

He leaned in closer, all self control he had at that moment seemingly lost as their faces were just mere centimeters apart.

She swallowed as her heart fluttered. As much as her heart wanted this, her mind wouldn't allow it.

She turned her head away just as their lips were about to touch

"...We shouldn't.. As much as I want to, it's still painful…"

He frowned, as he pulled away gaining control of himself once again, he looked down. "...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.. I don't know what came over me..."

"It's okay, really… It's just… Hard…"

"I know…"

An awkward silence took over the two of them. Neither of them knew what more to say to one another.

"I should probably get back to Loveland.." He spoke, standing up after a moment in their awkward silence.

She looked at him, her hand reaching out to his. "No! Stay… Please…"

He looked down at her hand that held onto his. Moving his hand to softly lace his fingers with hers, looking at her.

"Are you sure you want me to stay?"

She nodded, giving him a small smile. "Y-yeah… I could really use the company… I was just about to put on a movie to watch…"

The corners of his mouth lifted upwards as he let go of her hand, sitting down once again beside her. "Alright, I'll stay. What movie are you thinking of watching?"

She smiled wider as she moved to grab the remote to the TV. "Mm.. I'm not sure honestly… Hmm… How does Beauty and The Beast sound?"

He let out a chuckle, knowing how much she adored that movie. She always loved watching it with him in the time that they were together, "Still love that movie? Even after watching it countless times? I guess some things never change."

Victor lightly teased her, smiling more as she rolled her eyes, pouting playfully at him.

"Of course I do! It's my favorite movie of all time, no matter how many times I watch it, it will always be my favorite. Now are you going to watch it will me or not?"

He looked at her as he laughed softly. "I'll watch it with you."

"Great." She giggled, as she then found the movie, pressing play as the movie began playing. Victor then made himself more comfortable, seeing as he'll be there for quite some time.

However, not even halfway through the movie, Victor feels Cassandra's head rest against his shoulder.

He didn't realize that she made herself comfortable and had curled up at his side. He looked down at her, his gaze softening as he realized she fell asleep.

He smiled, letting out a soft chuckle. "As usual… You always tend to fall asleep at any given time…"

Victor then shifted his hands to wrap around her, as he stood up. Being cautious as to not wake her. He lifted her up into his arms.

Taking her up the stairs and into her bedroom, he gently set her down on the bed, tugging the covers up and over her, making sure she was fully tucked in. He gazed down at her, moving a few strands of hair away from her face. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Goodnight Cassie… I love you."

He whispered before standing up straighter, turning to leave.

However a small tug to his shirt sleeve, stopped him in his tracks. He turned back to look at her, her eyes opened as she gazed at him sleepily.

"Stay… Please…"

How could he say no to that? His heart skipped a beat as he nodded. Moving to lay beside her, wrapping his arms around her as she moved to curl up close to him, her eyes fluttering close as her head rested against his chest.

He gently moved his hand to gently stroke her hair, as he often did many nights when they were together. He let out another chuckle as he leaned in to whisper into her ear...

"I'll always be here to stay...Dummy…"

[skywalkersthelimit]

Okay so I'm super nervous to post this but I wrote this one-shot for the #trikey fandom. Ive had this idea for awhile but I finally got around to writing it. It's based off the song Lips of an angel by Hinder. I think its perfect for Michael and Trevor lol so please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy!

Honey, why are you calling me so late?

It’s kinda hard to talk right now 

Honey, why are you crying, is everything okay? 

I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud 

Michael woke up to his phone ringing on his bedside table. He knew who it was before he even looked. He didn’t know how or why because it could have been a number of people. He reached over and grabbed the phone. His eyes squinted from the bright light. Trevor. He was both glad and disappointed he was right but he supposed he might have willed it to be. His thoughts had been filled with his crew mate, best friend and sometimes more, but that was before Amanda and the kids. Well that wasn’t entirely true. Every time they went on a job together, they fell into each other as soon as they were alone in their hotel room. Michael just couldn’t help himself. 

It had been a few months since he had seen Trevor though. He tried to put distance between them. He knew that Trevor had a hard time just sleeping together on occasions and understanding Michael had a family to go home to. Michael wanted nothing more than for his friend to be happy but he just couldn’t be the one to give it to him.

He stared as the phone rang and debated answering but he pictured Trevor’s face the last time he had seen him with tears rolling down his face, begging Michael to stay. His heart clenched and he answered.

“Hello?” he whispered. He looked over at Amanda still sleeping. He had to be quiet. He didn't want to wake her and have her find out who he was talking to. He didn’t feel like fighting tonight. 

“Hey." Trevor’s voice rang out on the other side of the phone. 

“Jesus, Trev. Do you know what time it is?” He flinched as the words left his mouth. He didn’t mean to sound upset but he did. 

Trevor laughed dryly. 

“Oh I’m sorry, Princess. Am I interrupting your beauty sleep? I thought I might call my best friend who hasn’t talked to me in months” he said coldly. 

“Trevor, if you want to talk you can call and you can call during the day.” Amanda moved next to him. He had to be quiet. 

“Works both ways. If you wanted to talk you would have called. But you didn’t.” His voice cracked and ended in a broken sob. Michael hated himself a little more. 

“T, why are you crying? Is everything okay?” he whispered. He wished he was there with Trevor right now. He would pull him into his arms and hold him until the tears stopped like he always did. 

“Speak up M. I cant hear you" 

“I have to be quiet or I’ll wake up-" he let his sentence go unfinished, trying to be careful not to set T off. 

“Ah, of course. Wouldn’t want to wake the Mrs. I’ll let you go." He could hear the anger, the jealousy, the sadness, and the pain in Trevor’s voice. 

“No!” he said rather loudly. He snapped over to look at Amanda, who just turned over on her side away from him. He sighed. “Don’t go. Just- Hang on.” He got out of bed quietly and snuck out the room. He grabbed his cigarettes off the counter and sat down on the couch, lighting one up and taking a deep inhale and exhale. He wasn't supposed to smoke in the house, but fuck it. 

Well, my girl's in the next room

Sometimes I wish she was you

I guess we never really moved on

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name

It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel

Hearing those words - it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye

But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

With the lips of an angel

“Now tell me what’s going on, Trev. I can't be too loud. Mandy and the kids are in the other room asleep" he explained. 

“I-I don’t know. I just needed to hear your voice.” Trevor replied quietly, his voice soft and tight like he was trying to stop himself from crying. Michael wondered what had him so upset. He had heard he had a boyfriend of sorts from Lester and apparently they’ve been doing jobs together for L since Michael saw T last. When L told him, he saw red. He got wasted and wound up outside screaming and crying at the night sky. Trevor was his, but he wasn't and he never would be. He didn’t want to but he hoped Trevor was calling to tell him he left that guy and to ask when Michael was coming back to work, to him. There was also a chance Trevor was calling because he was drunk and cranked out. Either due to said guy or something else or even for the hell of it. He might be in trouble or lying somewhere drugged out.

“Is it that guy you’re with?” Michael realized how incredibly jealous he sounded but maybe he was. Maybe he missed being on the road, never staying in one place too long. Maybe he missed the thrill of the job, and maybe he missed looking over in the middle of a heist and grinning at Trevor who was grinning just as hard back. Maybe he missed pulling Trevor into a hard kiss as soon as their hotel door shut and having the most passionate nights of his life, and then falling asleep in his lover’s arms. Maybe he even missed the times they just sat on the bed and talked for hours about any and everything. Maybe sometimes he wished it was Trevor who was in the other room, waiting for him to come back to bed. 

“How-how do you even know about that?” Trevor asked, sounding surprised. 

“Lester.” 

“Of fucking course. Well not that it’s any of your business but he's asleep. It ain’t like he’s my boyfriend or anything. You know I ain’t they settling type. There’s only one exception. Fuck. I miss you, Mikey.” He sobbed. 

“Trev-" 

“It's okay. I understand. It’s just so good to hear your voice, Mikey.” There goes that nickname again. A nickname only Trevor called him. A nickname that sounded so sweet coming from Trevor’s lips. Like an angel. A fallen angel maybe. 

“It's really good to hear your voice too T. Mikey. That’s a name I haven't heard in awhile” he said fondly. 

“What, too good to be called Mikey anymore?” T said annoyed. 

“No, not at all. Although you are the only one who calls me that, but I like it.” He felt his cheeks flush and his heart flutter as he spoke. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Now tell me what’s going on please."

“When are you gonna do a job? It’s been months. We miss you out there. I miss you. I-I need you, Mikey. Please come back to me. I can't stop thinking about you. You haunt me every waking moment, and even in my dreams. Do you dream of me?” Hearing those words made Michael feel weak. He almost told Trevor he was on his way, grabbed his car keys and left without a second thought, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t leave his children. He might do a few jobs now and then but he wouldn’t choose that life over them. No matter how bad he craved it, craved him.

It's funny that you're calling me tonight

And, yes, I've dreamt of you too

And does he know you're talking to me?

Will it start a fight?

No, I don't think she has a clue

“Trevor, I-I want to be there. You know I do, but I got Tracey and Jimmy to think about, but I think about you too. All the time. Especially lately. It’s funny you called. And yeah, I’ve dreamt of you too T.” He didn’t know why he was being so open about this, about whatever it was between them, but hearing how broken Trevor sounded and how it matched how he felt inside, he knew they both needed to hear it. To hear that Michael cared about him, that he missed Trevor just as much as he missed him. 

“Oh yeah? What’d you dream about, cowboy?” he asked and Michael could picture his thick eyebrows wagging. He laughed, genuinely laughed. Something he hadn’t done since the last time he saw Trevor. 

“It wasn’t like that. Well not all like that.” Now it was Trevor’s turn to laugh. 

“Tell me.” He told Michael. 

“We were in a nice house, our house. We were happy.” He whispered, afraid of the way his dream made him feel. He didn’t want to dream of Trevor, of their future that would never be. He wished he could let Trevor go, but he didn’t think he ever fully would. 

“It doesn’t have to be a dream, Mikey. The kids can be in your life, our life.” Trevor pleaded. Michael had to change the subject before he agreed. 

“What about that guy you've been seeing? Does he know you’re talking to me? Won't he get mad?” 

"I told you he's not my boyfriend. I don't care if he gets mad, but no, he doesn't know I'm talking to you. He doesn't know anything about you except you're the great Michael Townley, expert thief. He actually wants to meet you." Trevor laughed dryly at that. "What about Amanda? Does she know you're talking to me? Does she know anything?" 

Does she know anything, meaning does she know when Michael goes away to work he all but forgets about her? Does she know that his nights with Trevor are filled with more passion than their whole marriage has ever seen? Does she know that Michael's heart will never fully belong to her?

"No, no I don't think she has a clue, Trev." He sighed. The guilt constantly ate at him and he tried so hard to be the husband she deserved, the father his children deserved, but he never would me. He belonged to the game, to Trevor, but it didn't matter. How he felt didn't matter, couldn't matter. He would push his feelings down to the bottom of his heart with a smile. 

"Mikey. I miss you so much. So much it hurts. I can't get you out of head, out of my heart. I've tried drugs and alcohol. I've tried fucking anyone in sight and even getting a wannabe you, but nothing works. I've tried telling myself you're better off with her, but you're not. You're miserable and so am I. Please just do the best thing for you, for us." He begged through sobs. Michael could hardly make out what he was saying.

He felt tears rolling down his face. He felt Trevor's words stab his soul. He tried to drown Trev out too. He drank so much even he was worried. He smoked several packs of cigarettes a day. He went to strip clubs almost every night and almost every time he brought one of the girls to his car or a hotel for a quick fuck. He just wanted to feel numb, to never know the pain of loving someone you could never be with. What was that saying? It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. He wasn't sure if he agreed, but inevitably he did. He would feel this pain a thousand times just to know what it was like to love and be loved by this man. What it felt like to lay in his arms as he rubbed his back and kissed his head. He couldn't give that up. He wasn't ready for that. 

"I'm gonna call Lester tomorrow and get a job set up. I'll let you know where to go. Everything will be okay. I'll see you in a few days. I promise. Okay?" 

"Yeah okay, but what about-" Michael cut him off. 

"We'll talk about everything then." He knew he was lying and Trevor probably did too. They both knew he would never be able to leave his family and that pretty little white lies would have to suffice them. 

"Okay Mikey, I'll see you in a few days. And you better show up" he threatened, half jokingly. 

"I'll be there, Trev. And Trev?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Next time call me during the day" he said chuckling. 

"Yes princess. See ya soon Mikey." He said before hanging up. 

Trevor just makes it too hard to be faithful and Michael was weak. 

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Hey, I'm doing good too. Just normal amounts of stressful stuff right now. Just moved to a country I've never been to before but can't complain, things are not as hard as the last time I did this so. Thanks for asking! Yeah, I saw you posting about some pretty scary health issues before, I'm glad you came out of that alive and hope you're healthier now!

The nerve some people have! Haha I know I would be pissed if people were questioning my intelligence like that especially after a couple of drinks in haha. Though I do like taunting people when I play group games, I'll be like "don't need to try that hard guys, you're gonna lose anyway" just to mess with them or just call people sore losers if they accuse me of cheating haha (they're probably right on the accusations tho). People get real mad sometimes it's kinda funny. 😂

Omg literally laughed out loud reading this! Hahaha, how did you manage to fall over a road sign then end up in a ditch? lol omg hope you didn't get hurt too bad 😂 I was trying to downplay my drunken escapades but since you shared yours I should tell you my worst one:

I was at this summer street party at night and got drunk on something made out of tropical herbs and cachaça (which is about 48% alcohol), drank 3 and a half bottles of that like it was apple juice, made friends with a bunch of strangers in a bathroom queue (who tried to talk to me weeks later but I had no idea who they were), had to be held by my best friend while I peed (mostly missing the toilet), fell in the middle of the street and scraped my knee, threatened this boy who was helping me walk and told him not to try anything funny or I would beat him up, then dragged my friends to the beach and left them shortly after to go make out with my ex, came back with lipstick all over my mouth and chin and when my friends asked what I was doing I said I was just talking to my ex and they were like NO YOU WERE NOT, hahaha then I kissed all my girl friends on a dare and we danced under the full moon, then I told my best friend I had to puke so she took me to the ocean but I changed my mind and happened to step on a dead turtle on the way back and started crying bc of it, but last month my best friend told me it was a rock I had stepped on (I believed it was a dead turtle for 7 years!). Had the worst hangover of my life the next day. ✌️✨

Ah I'm happy you liked it! I've never listened to Six musical before but it sounds fun! I can see why you like it haha made me want to dance around my apartment 💃. And hey if liking musicals is your thing then it's great, I'm sure Hozier will understand if he's not your top artist of the year. 😋 Here's my "damie" Pinterest board if you or anyone else wants to check it out, totally recommend making one if you're a visual person like me!

https://pin.it/UcHVlkq

Oh I could talk about Dani and Jamie forever I think. I love the beast in the jungle speech too and it's so painful to watch, VP delivered that beautifully, but I have to admit I'm always a crying mess from episode 1 when older Jamie starts reciting that song about being sad while waiting for her lover to return, this show is fucking cruel I hate it and love it at the same time hahaha. Omg your mom 😂 but I mean it's truly an honor to be compared to someone like Dani, no? She's really great even if she needs a little help haha (don't we all).

Aaah you're amazing! Thank you so much, I'll read this pirate AU soon!

I used to draw a lot, really loved doing it when I was a kid as I said before, and all throughout adulthood too but I haven't done that in almost a year now bc I've got a bit of a case of burnout I guess, it just takes a lot of effort to do it when it shouldn't be like that at all. I used to do fanart too, for other fandoms. Even made one for Dani x Jamie but ended up not liking how it turned out haha. I've got a lot of respect for writers and fanfic writers also! Yall can make words make sense in really interesting and beautiful ways, build worlds so enthralling I can see them vividly in my head. Writing is such an incredibly fascinating skill to have! And I guess the most important thing is that we enjoy doing these things right? Even if we think we're not particularly good at it.

Anyway, have a lovely weekend! 👋✨

Good I'm glad you're doing great but sorry you're dealing with stressful stuff!! Hope living in a new country goes well for you I'm so jealous that you've lived in different countries I'd love to live somewhere else even if just for s few years!! Awwh thank you so much I definitely came out of it alive and am feeling so much better now thank you I mean I do some pretty ditzy things so when people say it to me it's pretty deserved sometimes, I'm secretly smart and people just don't expect it so I never mind too much haha I might have to start saying the things that you do and just taunting them over it I mean, I usually do win even when they make me answer different questions so I will definitely have to start saying things like that to them Haha I love that you're just like "yeah they're probably right in their accusations" I agree seeing how mad some people get over games and stuff is funny (it's me I'm people I hate loosing games depending on what it is and I am very competitive) So it was very dark and all we had for light was my roommates flashlight on her phone but while we were walking home a friend of ours that lived else where kept texting her to make sure we were still safe (my phone as dead at this point) so while she was texting him her flashlight was facing down and someone had moved this road sign to the footpath and it was on that sits on the floor so while I couldn't see it I walked into it and fell over it but while I feel I grabbed hold of it and flipped with it and fell in a ditch with it on top of me... I was fine and was just laid laughing while my friend looked down at me and in the most northern accent ever just said "get up you dickhead." and helped me off of the floor and then asked if I was okay... and I was so it was all good!! Haha 😂 I love this drunken story that sounds like one hell of a night and is a roller coaster from start to finish!! I'm sorry you thought you had stood on a dead turtle for 7 years though, someone really should've told you that it was just a rock!! But that sounds like my kind of night!! I love nights like that... stories that will last a life time... the only down side is the hangover... luckily I have only ever had one hang over in my life and it wasn't the morning after the road sign fiasco... I felt surprisingly good the morning after that haha 😂 It's such a good musical it's about Henry VIII wives and I just love everything to do with his wives and that musical is so much fun and actually gives a little insight to the lives the six Tudor queens had away from Henry and with him because at school we're mainly just taught about him which sucks!! I loved the Hozier song and am definitely gonna have to listen to more of his stuff!! I love musicals so much I mainly listen to musical soundtracks at the minute- usually, Legally Blonde and Six on repeat haha 😂 Ooo thank you I will definitely check out this Pinterest board thanks for sending it to me!! I could talk about them forever too... since watching Bly Manor my niece has been asking me so many questions about it and I am more than happy to talk to her about it haha!! The beast in the jungle speech just breaks my heart every time I relate to it so much and VP just delivers it so beautifully!! Oh yeah now I know at the beginning that it's older Jamie I am just a wreck the whole show is just so beautiful and heart breaking at the same time I LOVE IT!! Even though it makes me sob- I keep putting myself through it!! I mean, yeah I was happy that she said it Dani is great but it was the way she said it... my mum can be something else sometimes... she said she thought Dani was like me the first time she does the accent when she says "I've fallen quite in love with London" because I just randomly do accents a lot too but it was the way she was like "She needs help... but I like her she reminds me of you" I was just like... "Should I go get help?" I still don't know the answer to my question about if I need help or not but I mean I probably do need it You're welcome I really hope you like it!! It's a

great fic I love it!! Yeah I get that if stuff starts taking too much effort and burns you out you're not gonna wanna keep doing it so it's understandable that you stopped!! I think fan art is great and I really would love to be able to do it myself but I just don't have the skill it takes!! Awwh it's a shame you didn't like the Dani x Jamie one you did I would've loved to have seen it!! Honestly there are so many talented writers out there and when I read their fics I am just in awe of the worlds they have built and the stories they have created we are so blessed in this fandom to have so many amazing writers and so many amazing fics out there Oh yeah definitely its important to enjoy what you do!! I know I love writing and love writing fics for Dani and Jamie so I think I'll be doing it for a while even if I'm not great at it haha Awwh thank you very much I hope you have a great weekend too!! ☺️

[walkingdeadfan25]

Our Shot (Back to You)

Fandom: Hamilton

Pairings: Alexander/Oc- Lin-Manuel Miranda

Rating: Mature

**Disclaimer: This was inspired by a fanfic named 'A Winter's Ball' by @1781styles . Go check out the story it's amazing and tugs the heart strings! There are similarities inspired by it and all originality goes to them. I do not own Hamilton. Just my OC. Enjoy! Also sorry for any inaccuracy in timeline.***

Rosanna Elle Schuyler was the second eldest sister at 17. With her long light brown tresses and blue eyes, she was certainly a beautiful woman. She lived in an exciting time in an newfound country. It was a social night as she took in the joyous people around her.

The party around her was in full swing as she watched her older sister Angelica enjoying the moonlight while her younger sisters Eliza and Peggy were getting refreshments. As her eyes danced across the room, Rose spotted a handsome young man who would forever change her lives.

Alexander Hamilton.

As she took in his soulful and passionate eyes and hair pulled back into a small ponytail at his nape her heart flew and she was filled with a feeling of completion. Intrigued by this new comer, she discretely tried to catch his attention. After several failed attempts, she decided to point him out to Angelica but she had noticed him and just knew he'd be cute for her beloved sister Rosanna. "I found this handsome man who I must meet." "I think I finally found you a man." They spoke at the same time. "Which one is he?", Angelica asked.

"This one is mine.", Rosanna smiled shyly as she pointed out Hamilton who was talking with other men. Angelic could see the slight dreamy look in her face. Seeing her beloved sister finally showing interest in the opposite sex spurred her into action and Rosanna looked on in slight panic as Angelica approached him. She watched them interact and became a bit jealous with how easily she interacted with Alexander and how he seemed to enjoy her company. Suddenly, he looked over and caught her eyes and the world slowed down until it felt like they were the only two people in the room as they got helplessly lost in one another's gaze.

Angelica walked him over and introduced them to one another. "Rosanna Schuyler, pleased to meet you."

"Schuyler?", he asked.

Angelica beamed as the two took each other in and just knew they were the one for each other. "My sister."

"Thank you truly for your service in this upcoming revolution. It's about time." "Thank you Miss Schuyler. And if it takes fighting a war for us to meet then it was worth it." As the two converse, Anglica left them to go gossip to their other sisters. "Would you like to dance?", Alexander asked as he offered Rosanna his hand. She placed her hand in his and she knew she would never forget the way his work roughened skin felt against hers. As they danced the rest of the night and Alex introduced her to his other friends, their lives began to intertwine as The Fates threaded them together.

Weeks passed as the two grew close until the day that would test their budding relationship.

"You and Angelica will be going to London to get a proper education. I am not negotiating this matter further, young lady.", Rosanna's father said as she left his office dejected and heartbroken. She ran to her older sister in tears. "Angelica. He won't change his mind. I- I can't leave, especially to London of all places. What if Alexander realizes that he could do so much better?"

Angelica embraced her sister and whispered encouraging words. "He loves you and as more than a friend. I've seen the way he is around you. He looks at you like you are the sun to his moon. He will not let some time apart deter his feelings. And he can never do better Rosanna. Go to him."

Rosanna went to her and Alexander's meet up spot in the park. Her heart was beating erractically as she noticed his approaching figure. As he neared, he could see she had been crying and began to worry. "Rose, why have you been crying, is everything ok?" , he asked as he grasped her hands and kissed them enjoying how soft they felt against his lips and wished to press them to hers but did not want to move too fast and scare her.

Rosanna looked up to him and as her blue gaze met his fiery brown gaze her eyes watered. "I will be leaving for London in a day's time. My father is sending Angelica and I for a better education. I'll be gone for three years. But I don't want to go. I want to stay here with my family a-and with you, Alex."

Alexander's heart tightened as hope fluttered in his chest and it set a flight as he realized Rosanna was expressing her feelings in her own way. "Fret not my Rose. Our time apart will not change a thing. I will be leaving as well for war but I will write you every week. Our time apart will go by so fast." To seal his promise, Alexander lifted her left hand to his face. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before pressing it to his cheek. Rosanna cupped his face as he pressed a searing and intimate kiss to the inside of her wrist and they smiled.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★

My dearest Rose,

As each day goes by your face never leaves my mind. I long for the day we see each other again. As long as I live my heart shall always be yours.

As the time passed his letters grew in passion until they suddenly stopped and so close to when the two Schuyler sisters were to return home. Rosanna did not think too much of it but still read each letter he sent her, she kept them all in a wooden box Alex had gifted to her before she left. She didn't even notice how Angelica had began to distance herself from her. And that was step one in Rosanna's downfall. She was too caught up in love she didn't stop to take in the world surrounding her. Love is a good thing children but you have to mix in reality before it is your undoing.

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"Home. It is good to be back. I can't wait to see mother, father, Peggy, Eliza and Alexander." "Yes, great to be home.", Angelica said as a knot formed in her stomach. She did not know how to tell her beloved sister the dreadful news. As they entered their childhood home everyone rejoiced as the two eldest Schuyler sisters returned. Alexander took in Rosanna. She had gotten even more beautiful, if that was even possible in Alex's mind. Her hair had grown to mid-back and fell around her in unruly curls. Her face had softened and matured as she was now a woman of twenty.

Rosanna pulled away from her mother's embrace and turned to Alexander. He gave her a smile that she noticed didn't quite meet his eyes. She was a bit worried as he did not seem as excited about their reunion as she. He gave her a quick hug and she relished the feel of being in his arms as his musky scent of fresh parchment and something woodsy that was him, filtered through her senses.

They parted much too quick for Rosanna's taste and everyone headed to the dining room for dinner. Once dinner was in full swing, Rosanna couldn't help but to notice the ring on Eliza's ring finger. "Elizabeth Schuyler I believe there is something you have not told me dear sister. Who is the lucky man?" She was happy her sister found happiness like she did with Alexander. She wanted all her sisters to be happy. "Well come on don't be shy Eliza.", she encouraged lightly.

It was silent for several heartbeats as no one wanted to speak. "Alexander."

Rosanna's brain worked to process her answer. Confusion and slight panic filled her expression as she asked, "Alexander who?" "Hamilton." Rosanna felt her heart quiver painfully and tighten in her chest as hurt, anger and betrayal filled her expression. "W-what? W-why?" "Rose-", Alexander began.

"Don't. Y-you are a Bastard! You are a good for nothing bastard and coward! What, did all of you know?" Alexander felt his heart burn in pain and shame as he watched his first love break. Her eyes began to water but the tears refused to fall, magnifying the brilliant blue of her eyes. Everyone's silence gave Rosanna her answer. "Y-you all knew and no one told me? I-I trusted you all. And no one told me. I expected nothing less from papa or Eliza but you Angelica?" Her voice cracked at the end and her bottom lip trembled. Her face fell apart as did her heart. "I hate you all. Especially you two." She ran from the room as her sobs broke free and slammed her door shut.

Alexander followed after her and reached her door as she slammed it shut. He heard her collapse to her floor as her sobs wracked through her small trembling body. Tears filled Alexander's eyes as he heard her fall apart because of him. He rested his hand on her door as he quietly slid to the floor.

That night a family was broken apart for the first time and the threads holding Alexander and Rosanna together slowly fell apart and Rosanna's began to darken and fade.

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As the days passed, Rosanna locked herself away. Her delicate heart was broken beyond repair. In just a few shorts hours she had lost her true love and her family and it was all done by them. Rosanna began to blame herself for not seeing the changes around her. She began to second guess herself and convinced herself the reason he chose Eliza was because she was better in everything than her. It was her worst fear come to life; Alexander realized she wasn't good enough and found better.

Her family tried to talk to her, to get her from her room but Rosanna just sat in her little reading nook at her window staring blankly out of the window. She refused to leave her room not even when her body screamed at her its needs. Everyone feared for her as days passed and no one heard from her. She grew ill as her skin lost its color, her hair fell flat and lifeless and her eyes dulled to a dull lifeless grey.

Her mother called on the doctor once their cries for her to open went unanswered. The doctor came and her door forced open. What they found was heart-wrenchingly sad. The once lively and vibrant Rosanna was reduced to a lifeless empty shell of her former beautiful soul. Eliza left the room in tears as she witnessed what she had helped bring her sister to do to herself.

Rosanna was so far gone and retreated inside her mind that the doctor and Angelica were met with no resistance as they moved her to her bed. Her skin was ice cold and frail as was the rest of her. As the doctor checked her vitals, her mother, father, three sisters and Alexander gathered in the family room to await his assessment. The doctor came down his face grim. "There's nothing I can do. She's lost her will and you can't make the unwilling, willing. I am sorry. Her state has deteriorated quickly and I give her just a couple days. I'd try to make her as comfortable in her last few moments as you can. My condolences."

Alexander never left her side and was with her as she took her last breaths and watched his love leave the world.

As the family went through her things, Alexander came across the cherrywood box with a rose carved into it he gave her, under her bed. He opened it and found every letter he had written her inside some with tear drop stains smearing the ink. Some tears of his own dripped down to mix with Rosanna's as he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out his mother's last earthly possession. It was a simple ring with small roses carved into it, roses was his mother's and Rosanna's favorite.

"My mother wanted me to give this to the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with and a piece of my heart will always belong to you my dear Rose.", Alexander whispered as he kissed it and placed it inside the box. He hid the box away and when he met his death, it mysteriously disappeared, but really The Fates had taken possession of it for Alexander and Rosanna's story had yet to complete itself as their faded threads were still connected. They've always said Fate works in mysterious ways.

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It was a normal day as Evelyn Rosa Carter made her way over to her friend Phillipa's. Evelyn had just returned home from an out-of-state college where she got a degree in theatre and was looking to get started in the business. Phillipa was an actress who worked in the theatre arts and was currently working on her part in the upcoming production 'Hamilton.' Phillipa always gushed to her fellow cast mates about Evelyn and convinced Lin to give her a job helping out around the theatre.

Not that it was difficult to ask, since Lin was a friendly guy and was interested in meeting The Evelyn. As the two friends met up they headed to the theatre to begin Evelyn's first day. Everyone was happy to meet her and became fast friends. The minute Evelyn and Lin met though they both felt an instant connection with each other; it felt like they were coming home, as if a part of them they had been missing was finally being returned and they were whole.

Of course they were too shy to push past the comfort of friendship. When they made skin to skin contact by accident they would quickly move away and blush as the connection became strong. It was as if some unseen force was pushing them together.

One day Phillipa and Daveed wanted to get Evelyn out of her shell and convinced her to sing some of the songs with them so she decided to let her hair down and be free.

How does a bastard, orphan son of whore and a scotsman dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence and impoverished, in squalor grow up to be a hero and scholar?

Every one was shocked as Evelyn's voice rang out clear and beautiful as she harmonized well with Lin's through the recording they played for her at the end of a night of rehearsal after Lin had to rush off for a meeting of sorts. "Guys we need to get her to sing with Lin! She could be Phillipa's understudy! Not to mention her voice sounds amazing with Lin's, no offense Phillipa.", Daveed said as he came up with a plan. Phillipa took no offense and said she was in as long as they could try and set the two up.

" I think I speak for everyone when I say those two definitely have feelings for each other and they would be so darn cute together." Everyone agreed and a date was set.

"Ok this is the last one we promise. You just do such funny expressions when you sing this that I needed everyone else to see it.", Phillipa said as she convinced Evelyn to sing 'You'll Be Back' in front of everyone. It was no secret Evelyn adored the music and had praised Lin on his work, telling him how catchy the music was. He would get this cute little grin on his face when he would hear her gush about the songs. She was so glad to be a apart of the production and helped anyway she could. She also never went a day without complimenting everyone on their performance that day, making sure to let everyone know they were doing great, to keep spirits high and let them know their hard work was paying off.

Eveeyone had taken a seat and looked to the stage as Evelyn began.

"You say the price of my love's not a price that you're willing pay." As she sang she acted it out, throwing a fake cup of tea as she sang the lines, 'you cry in your tea which you hurl in the sea when you see me go by', getting laughs. Her voice paired with her silly actions while singing entertained everyone especially Lin who they told of Evelyn's singing skills and told him she was too shy in front of him when he asked why he'd never seen or heard her.

They had him stand in the back and watch her to surprise her. He enjoyed her little act, impressed in her acting and singing skills. Phillipa stood beside Lin and whispered to him, "This is my favorite part when she sings this song. It sounds so beautiful."

"You say our love is draining and you can't go on." As she hit the notes beautifully Phillipa and everyone watched Lin's expression, he was sold, hook, line and sinker. "You should sing a song with her!" Before he could refuse Phillipa insisted. "Yes! Ooh you both can sing 'Helpless'. We've all wanted to hear you guys harmonize, it sounded nice with the recording but the real thing would be something special. Plus, weren't you going to have her audition for my understudy? Well here is your chance!"

Once Evelyn finished, everyone clapped and Lin walked onto the stage. "That was amazing Evelyn! I never knew you could sing like that. I've been meaning to ask you to do this but Phillipa and everyone has made the opportunity tonight so how would you like to audition for Eliza's understudy?" Evelyn bkushed as Lin complimented her singing and then told her he wanted her to audition for an understudy part.

Before Evelyn could respond, everyone began chanting 'Do it'. Lin's kind soulful eyes burned into her blues as he offered her his hand. "You have no need to be embarrassed or shy. Judge free zone remember?", Evelyn laughed as Lin perfectly read her. She excepted his hand and everyone hooted and hollered. Evelyn smiled as Lin lead her to her start point and moved away to his. When Evelyn heard Helpless,' begin to play she breathed in deep and got into character.

She made sure her voice rang out clear. As she acted out meeting 'Alexander' for the first time it's like she's transported through time as she began seeing the scene as if it were happening in real time. What she didn't know was that she was getting her memories back. The cast watched as the two created undeniable chemistry on stage and were enthralled. What they didn't know was that the two were the reincarnations of Alexander Hamilton and Rosanna Schuyler being brought back together. Historians never talked about Rosanna due to no one knowing about how her death occurred so she was left out and Eliza got part of her story.

As the two begin to make the song a more intimate setting line two people finally finding each other, everyone left to give them their moment. As the song came to an end, Evelyn and Lin came closer together till their faces were inches apart. Their memories faded around them. Lin looked at Evelyn with a love so dazziling it was almost tangible. He clapsed her face in his hands. "My dear Rose. It is you."

She put her hands over his as tears began to fill her eyes, "My Alexander. I've missed you so much." Lin placed his forehead to hers. "I am so sorry my love. I never meant to hurt you. I can't explain myself nor do I expect you to forgive me."

"Oh Alexander. I had time to forgive you. I believe we have been given a second chance and I want nothing more than to spend this life with you. You may be Lin and I Evelyn in this life but we will always be Alexander Hamilton and Rosanna Schuyler."

"I want this with you as well my Rose."

He leaned down and connected their lips in a loving kiss. After over two centuries, Alexander and Rosanna finally got their chance at their true love and it was the most beautiful thing. Lin deepened the kiss as he buried his hand in her soft hair. Evelyn moved hers to his hair as well and they pressed close together. Needing air, they pulled away but kept their foreheads pressed together. As they looked into each other's eyes a golden light shimmered around them and as soon as it appeared it was gone and at their feet was a cherrywood box with a rose carved on it at their feet.

"That's where it went. The Fates sure work in mysterious ways.", Lin said as he bent down and picked up the box. He opened the box and Evelyn gasped. "I found it under your bed when you....I kept it because a part me has always loved you and I don't know why I asked for your father's blessing for Eliza's hand. I put this in there for you. I was going to give it to you before you left for London so long ago but I couldn't get enough courage to." Lin pulled out the ring. Evelyn's heart began to beat fast. "Lin-"

"It was mother's when I was Alexander. She wanted me to give it to the woman I'd spend the rest of my life with and I couldn't give it to Eliza, it never felt right so I put it in here for you. It was always yours." Evelyn let her tears fall down her cheeks as happiness filled her being. Lin slid it on her finger and he promised that this time around he would be everything to her if she would be his.