#I've never seen a more sensitive fanbase than them

[burned-lariat]

The Twitter Jex girlies are so, so triggered that their precious pairing was criticized for being a vapid, empty "love story" by SoapHub. Unfortunately for them, just like SOD, not a single lie was told, not a one. Truth hurts, babes.

Here's the article for your reading pleasure:

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi, it's KY here :)

How is everyone feeling about the Taennie news? Knetz have fully accepted the truth and moved on, I suggest I-fans need to do the same. (Jennie is known for having dating news come out regularly, so it's not a big deal for BP fans. For Armys, the sane ones, we've known for a while now haven't we? It's not a shock anymore.)

I read the comments on my previous ask and don't worry! I will not be sharing anything sensitive whatsoever. I find it funny when other shippers say things like "How is it possible that K-fans can keep things to themselves?" I don't think I've seen anyone else address this yet so let me tell you why.

K-Jikookers are mostly queer. Yes, you read that right. Unlike other shippers, who are straight women that self-insert as one of the members (like they do with TK) we support them as a couple. This means that we don't want to date either of them, and we don't self-imagine as their partner - we know that they're unavailable because they're exclusive to each other. You get me? And we know first hand how terrible it is to be queer in a conservative society. There are actually very few real romantic shippers in Korea, (again, KM is the only romantic ship that has a substantial fanbase) simply because it is so hard to accept two men dating. This is why you will see K-Jikookers on Twitter all being close friends/meeting up in person, because they are kindred spirits. I think it might be hard for westerners to really understand. How do I emphasize this more? The older generation in Korea, anyone older than 30+, is deeply homophobic, to the point where they see anything LGBT as western influence and pervasion. Being American, I know it's hard to grasp that level of homophobia - it's not hate comments about your sexuality or people refusing to sell you a cake for a gay wedding. It's social death, rejection, parents disowning their children, getting fired from your job. I'm not kidding. Do you think us, as queer fans who love and support KM, will willingly out them?

We would never, ever, ever do that, because we know the repercussions. Some Jikookers like to fantasize about their coming out, and I want you to understand: the K-side is terrified of that day. Yes, we all think it will happen in due time, but we are very very scared. You think the hate that JM is getting now is bad? You think people sending food to JK's apartment is bad? Nope. You haven't seen anything yet. You understand what I mean, right? Their coming out will not be a cute post. It will be a carefully orchestrated move complete with a legal and PR team. If/when they are out, their lives will be in immediate danger. I truly believe they will leave the country for a bit, maybe even months, maybe a year. There will not be any public sightings, fan meets, concerts. KM know this very well too. I'm sure there's already a plan in place for it.

And anyone searching for KM evidence on K-Jikookers social media, I would say don't bother. It's almost impossible. The white day photo leak was a massive mistake, and I know exactly who leaked it because they were removed from all group chats immediately. K-Jikookers were very very angry with them (and also cussing out foreigners...please, we all need to keep our mouths shut and keep stuff within our own circles.)

-KY

KY has spoken. We appreciate your services and await your next drop in.

I too, the Jikookers that I know, I have never seen them self insert themselves. Those are y/n idiots who do this shit. Not even in private spaces do I see this happening. We support them as a couple, despite how hot we may find them. We understand and believe they only have eyes for eo.

We appreciate the commercial break KY. Now back to the headline

TAENNIE IS REAL!!!!!

[danmei-confessions]

Not to jump on the JGY discourse badwagon, and please don't tag this with JGY for reasons I'm about to outline, but what JGY fans consider 'bashing' is really absurd to me. I've never been in a fandom like this. I admit, I'm new to the fandom and there seems to be a lot of history that has caused people to become over-sensitive but BOY OH BOY are they over-sensitive.

I've seen people accused of bashing JGY for calling him a villain. Which is just... true? I suppose if you prefer the term antagonist but people often (erroneously) use the terms interchangeably and antagonist is a more accurate definition of his placement in the story (antagonist being a character who is opposed to the protagonist, regardless of morals or who might be 'right' or 'wrong'). I think there's a fair case to be made for defining him as a 'villain' as well but I think there's a fair case to define most of the characters in MDZS as 'villains' so that isn't really meant as some sort of condemnation of his character, just an acknowledgement that he has done villainous things and some of those villainous things for villainous reasons. All that to say, I do think it's totally fair to have interpretations of his character that are far more blameless. It is a story from an unreliable narrator so if you choose to read the narrative as being completely inaccurate with regards to him, I think that's actually a really fair interpretation of the text. I prescribe to a watsonian death-of-the-author view of literature so whatever you get out of the text is an entirely valid interpretation. My point is merely that it's an equally valid interpretation to view him as a 'villain' and calling him such, especially in a series such as MDZS, is a neutral statement. And yes, someone could use the label of villain as a jumping off point to start bashing him but what I'm trying to point out is the fans who call it 'bashing' if you call him a villain alone, regardless of whether the person calling him a 'villain' is a fan of his character or not.

And that's only one example. People have been accused of bashing him for simply stating things that he did within the novel. Which again, it's totally fair to interpret things like NMJ's death as justified or unjustified depending on your interpretation of the text but the fact is that he did it. It's also fair to think his involvement in JRS and QS death is dubious at best, but it's also a fair to interpret the text that he did do it. So again, if someone says "he killed JRS and QS" that is not bashing, that's just saying a thing that is entirely possible within the text. It would be bashing if they say "he killed JRS and QS and that's why he's the worst character ever and he should die etc etc etc" and I'm sure that this hyper-sensitive fans have dealt with that sort of nonsense in the past and that is why they're so hypersensitive and quick to call everything bashing, but it is really odd to watch.

Basically any statement that's even mildly uncharitable or even just goofing on his character a bit (in a light hearted or affectionate way) I've seen be called bashing. At this point, it feels to me as an outsider looking in that the only way you're 'allowed' to engage with his character is if you have the absolute most charitable interpretation of him. You can't be a villain-fucker who likes a morally dubious and manipulative guy, you have to interpret him as the most innocent little guy who never did anything wrong or you're bashing him.

And it's just very absurd to me. I'm a fandom veteran in my 40's and I've been through so many fandoms over the years and I've never seen any fandom be quite like this about a character. Yes, the JC defenders are also quite obsessive but from my perspective, I've seen more of them willing to acknowledge JC's faults than the JGY fans (of course, this is completely anecdotal and it's entirely possible that I've just only seen small portions of both fanbases that made one of them seem more defensive and aggressive than the other, in which case I do apologize. I'm really not trying to be uncharitable). But even with JC and XY and other widely contentious characters, I still see a lot more defensive/aggressive behavior than I'm used to seeing in other fandoms.

Again, this is anecdotal and just my path through fandoms and as a long-time villain-fucker, but in all the other fandoms I've been a part of it's been "omg he's the worst and that's why I love him" or even "he's the worst, why do I love him" or just any iteration of "I love this character, he's the best to me, but yeah he does shitty stuff sometimes".

This is just I guess an actual confession rather than real discourse because I'm not really interested in having discourse over this. I'm a bit exhausted seeing all the discourse and I might even start distancing myself from the fandom because the more I talk about it, the more I realize it's just a lot more exhausting for me than I realized. This is just an observation and a confession about how I've felt while observing the hyper-defensive nature of some fans within this fandom. Mostly just triggered by seeing someone comment "stop putting bashing in the tag" and I read the post and I was really struggling to see what the bashing was. Again, maybe there's dog-whistles I'm blind to or maybe people are just too hurt over past drama to see clearly or maybe I'm just too old for this stuff. I guess I'm just used to bashing to be... bashing? Not "look I love the guy but he's kinda mean lol" or "he's a good villain".

Back in my day (LOL) bashing was just defined differently I guess.

Anyway, continue to love your blorbo and in any way that brings you joy, I'm not the blorbo police.

For the record, JGY is my favorite character and I find him deeply sympathetic even in less charitable interpretations of the text. I just like who he is, regardless of whether he's 'justified' or 'good'. My personal interpretation of his character is somewhere in between the most charitable and most uncharitable. I think he's a good person in an impossible position who had to struggle for everything in life and those struggles twisted him up inside until he made lots of mistakes and committed a lot of unforgivable acts. His story is tragic to me and deeply engaging. And the fact that I wrote this up as a huge JGY fan and I don't want it tagged because I legitimately think there are parts of the JGY fanbase who would interpret this as bashing is why I think I need to give up this fandom.

.

[ca-suffit]

So, I just finished the feast of all saint's movie, it was a lot more historical than actually imo but I really didn't like the last 10 minutes so basically the love interest gets drugged by some spiritual woman played by Eartha Kitt and get sa'd by a group of people. but other than that, it was mid. I didn't read the book or any of Anne rice's other famous books because i refuse to support authors that write stuff(from what I've seen in your Tumblr page i suspect it's a lot worse than what I've seen in the actual VC fanbase) I also feel weird knowing a white woman wrote a story about creoles just for some of the VC fanbase to say racist things about Louis and Claudia's race being changed and even saying weird and colorist stuff about Delainey but yeah that's my thoughts about The feast of all saints.

omg I had no idea eartha kitt was in it??!

.....that ending sounds v anne rice. that's one of her favorite themes.

ya, like I think I'd mentioned in the first ask, she wrote a lot that was still racist no matter what. she didn't have an editor for most of her career so she obviously wouldn't have cared to have a sensitivity reader either. her *deep* fans will say that writing in black and brown characters makes her not racist by itself, but everyone else knows it takes more than that to fix a racism issue and she never did. her books are messy with no real conclusion and not enough things satisfyingly criticized (or serving a purpose otherwise), that's why a lot of her fans rely on the vague hand sweep of "it's gothic literature!!!" that's said to avoid talking about anything in depth, especially in a way that might criticize her (the worst thing in the world to her *and* them, ig lol). so that's where a foundation for a lot of the racism comes from in the fandom. anne rice never thought she was racist and always concluded she was "correct" in everything, so some fans still think that even being adults now.

anyway, thank u sm for ur thoughts!!

[blorbocedes]

I have been perusing the brocedes tag on ao3 (not an easy confession to make) and I've noticed that a lot of the fics make Nico out to be... desperate... trying to get Lewis to look at him etc etc. And Idk if it's just me but, and this is nothing against Lewis, I get the feeling like Nico was the one who dealt w/ the friendship breakdown better? I'm not saying Lewis is doing badly (he's got 7 WDC!) but. Nico is able to talk about him, yknow? Meanwhile as you said Lewis makes a point not to mention Nico's name (unless that has been played up by fandom as well, which is possible. I haven't watched Every Lewis Interview That Mentions Nico).

hahha you are forgiven for your crimes of perusing the brocedes ao3 tag.

you are correct in your observation that people do write nico like that, and if you're on my blog long enough you'll see me ranting about his mischaracterization in fanon. I'm going to ramble a bit; bear with me

there's actually a very simple reason for this: Lewis has a bigger fanbase. F1 has exploded much bigger than 2016. There's entire swaths of fans who have never seen Nico race live (me included), whose idea of brocedes comes from present day lewis who does not speak of nico, and nico rosberg f1 commentator who anytime he mentions lewis goes semi-viral cause he's clearly obsessed with him (it's a circle).

i actually got into f1 pretty recently so my first take on brocedes was that this Nico dude did a lot of shady shit and broke their friendship to win in 2016 and then retired. (Lewis' part and share of war crimes in that breakup is minimised as narratives are written by winners and Lewis is definitely the winner in the long run) so obviously the fics written now will reflect that, with Nico profusely begging for forgiveness/apologising and Lewis as someone hurt and in the position to forgive/accept reconciliation. (🙄)

if you're not 500 hours deep into Nico lore (and why should you be) you will accept fanon as your perception of him, which is how you'll write him, and the cycle continues... now obvious disclaimer: people can write and enjoy whatever they want, it's all made up anyway. I'm simply explaining why one particular narrative is more persistent. I'm not even going to say my perception is correct, bc I'm not immune to bias either but I have certain things I find more interesting than other things. the real reason brocedes is so compelling is bc everyone's had one explosive friendship breakup that's left them reeling and they're the perfect representation of it

my self appointed job is to comb through every Lewis interview that mentions nico haha because it's so notable the rare times he does! He has improved slightly on that regard, here's him mentioning how Nico's place was the first place he'd ever stayed in monaco, and here's him talking about Nico to Martin Brundle while looking back at some of his races.

so he Can say the nico word lol but he generally avoids it. there's also the parallel that Nico was willing to be friends after 2016 while Lewis was the one who was flipping through pages that contained his picture not wanting to look at it. but he has improved since, prob the wound was still fresh and I enjoy Lewis being sensitive and petty.

It's just Lewis wouldn't say his name for things like the DTS netflix ep where he talks about how sometimes the guy you're teammates with is your best friend, and how it creates a lot of friction. LIKE WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT MAN.

or how he had to deliberately decline sky sports interviews with Nico cause back when Nico was on paddock (🕊😔) he interviewed all the drivers except for Lewis and you KNOW sky sports would be all over that shit.

and yet, they Could stand to talk when there's no cameras filming. so... yeah. i hate those bitches and I know too much about them. whoever won the breakup, we all lost 😔

anyways happy brocedes anon, or sorry for your loss idk!

[lady-of-disdain]

OK! So the Monster Fucker vs Furry Explanation I Promised I'd Write:

(easier to write it up on a blog post and link it in the server)

Gonna put most of this under a cut because it'll be long and lord knows I still have some people who hate stalk my blog, and even though I've never been ashamed to admit I love monsters, I don't want to see this shit on the circus blog or some fuckery like that.

BUT FIRST! There is a Venn Diagram if that helps:

https://editoress.tumblr.com/post/169827724912/hey-i-made-a-chart

SO! Forgive me if I don't have a full grasp on the concept of what a furry is since I don't consider myself one but from what I understand furries are like, just antho dudes right? They are part animal, part human, can range from mammalian to avian, to reptilian and all the rest of the animal kingdom, but usually, they are still just dudes.

Like a guy. Like oh there's my neighbor Tony, he leads the neighborhood watch and he's half tiger.

Like these guys right? They just, go to work, pay their taxes, etc.

~

But when I think of Monsters, I think of creatures generally not a part of normal human society. Whether that be because they are aliens and come from an entirely different planet, or whether that be because they come from a different culture made up exclusively of other monsters, or whether that be because they are from the woods and the wild, from the shadows and mists of the human imagination.

Your typical Monster Boyfriend™ doesn't love you based on something stupid like socially accepted beauty norms, because he's not a part of society.

So while there can be some crossover between monster fuckers and furries because of werewolves:

For the most part, a Monster purist like me might be more attracted to these wolfmen than say Legoshi from above because these wolfmen are more primal. Still sentient, but they don't fit into society and are more likely to just pick you up and carry you out to the woods and away from normal society so you can spend the rest of your days running through the forest and howling at the moon.

Briefly to bring up Sans and where he fits into this topic since I brought him up: Yes, Sans is certainly a Tumblrsexyman, and can be categorized as such, but he also falls into a unique middle category where monster fuckers and tumblrinas might converge.

Most TSM fall into a category of something inhuman also, however, a large part of their TSM status comes from the fact that most of the time those people who are drooling over them have redesigned them into some sort of anime twink. And that's definitely happened plenty for sans, but there is also an entire other side of the sans fanbase (myself included) who love him exclusively as a skeleton monster.

And we're talking fans who go hard into skeleton anatomy, write fics with details about what bones would be the most sensitive for him, and know all the right words for those bones. There is also the aspect that Sans comes from a different monster society. So a lot of people go into what kinds of differences or customs would be different between humans and monsters.

So Sans can definitely straddle the line between the two.

~

Now, I could go on for a while more to talk about more aspects of Furry vs Monster fuckery, but I'll hurry up and bring this to a close with the real reason this question was brought up:

Does the Slug fit more under Monster or Furry fandom:

My first thought was to place him under the monster category. While I'm sure there is probably furry art out there somewhere of anthropomorphic snails and slugs, at the end of this day I think this creature is actually supposed to be an alien? So that would fall more under the territory of monsters. And while not my preference, I know that for some monster fuckers slime beings are a thing.

BUT! From what I've seen of the meme this is the homophobic slug. So this mf can't eat.

So in conclusion, I've changed my mind. He is neither furry nor monster. He's just trash.

[chaos-and-recover]

I am married to someone with an intense, if only midsized, fanbase. Parasocial relationships have been a part of our lives since long before it was a buzzword. It is weirdly fascinating to us, but sometimes a bit frightening. Now that it is the buzzword of the hour, seeing it misattributed is one of our pet peeves. I have seen people claim any amount of interaction on the fan's end is "pick me" (although fan interaction is necessary for his job) or claim that him utilizing social media makes him more culpable for forcing parasocial relationships on the fans because of power imbalances. If he is obvious about promoting something, though, it doesn't go over well because audiences don't want to feel like their being advertised to. Parasocial relationships are sometimes hurtful and scary on our end. 1) There was a woman who had been following his career since the 90s, when he wasn't as well known. She would often send him letters, gifts. Within the past 5 years something changed. I don't know why, but she suddenly began to consider him a boyfriend of sorts. He had never responded to these letters. I discovered she had been catfishing me under my private, locked social media accounts under a fake name, pretending to be someone I knew from high school. He blocked her on all social media. She harassed his coworkers until they blocked her too. A friend of mine said she went on TikTok to brag about how overly sensitive celebrities will block if you call them out for not being better than regular people. Meanwhile, we got a letter from her last year begging for him to forgive whatever she did that offended him. 2) 15ish years ago, in a magazine interview, my husband states his fave color. 2 years ago, I was having lunch with a friend, without my husband. A younger woman approached the table. She asksnif my husband was around and I said that he wasn't. Immediately her tone and expression changed to something nasty. She asked if I would at least give him a painting she had done of him. It was all done in various shades of the same color. I commented on this and she sneered at me with; "It's his fave color." I am still trying to be polite at this point and casually go; "Oh is it?" and she ery rudely snaps that I am his wife and I don't know his fave color like SHE does, so I have had it and say, assertively that I've had enough and she needs to leave. I gave it to my husband and told him the encounter. He laughed about it and said that it wasn't his fave color anymore. I had never thought to ask about his fave color because it just didn't seem important to either of us. He had never asked mine. Her twitter handle was on the painting so I looked it up. Her and a few friends were discussing the incident, using my first and last initials and my husband's first. They were discussing how clearly they know him deeper than I do, that he must secretly hate me if his own wife doesn't understand him like she does, and she altered the story so that she had seen him there earlier so I was clearly lying and that she had timidly approached the table and I had screamed at her that the color was ugly. I don't watch his interviews unless he specifically asks me to, because this is like listening in on someone's work meeting. This has been misconstrued by "fans" that I don't support him. I absolutely do, 200%, probably more than they support their husband's jobs, but watching his interviews isnt how i support him. I support him in our home, in our phone calls, in other ways he appreciates in our personal lives. Parasocial relationships are absolutely fine, until people start to believe they aren't in one, or that it is somehow more substantial than personal relationships the celebrities have with their loved ones. They truly think that they can Sherlock Holmes someone enough to truly know them better than the ones who actually know them in real life. (Sorry if you got this multiple times. Tumblr said it didnt send my ask.)

(Same anon from before) What fans need to understand is that parasocial relationships are good. It is fine to be a fan of someone, support their career, analyze them and write fanfiction and draw fanart of them or their characters. This is how my husband keeps his job, this is completely normal fan behavior. It isnt bad for the sake of existing. But they need to be aware that it is parasocial. I think the problem doesn't lie with parasocial relationships so much as when those in the relationship aren't aware that it is parasocial. Those who are aware of it being parasocial aren't the ones claiming that I do not know my husband but that they do or sending him love letters thinking their in a relationship with him. Those who know it is parasocial know that there is a difference between him answering questions in an interview (after being coached by a professional on how to appear and how to speak, and going into it knowing 90% of the questions) and having a conversation when there aren't cameras around, behind closed door. There is a difference between remembering a list of favorite things and watching someone enjoy those things in the moment every day in person. You just HAVE to be aware that they ARE parasocial.

First of all I gotta say I'm SUPER curious who you are (obviously you don't have to tell me!)! I've heard and seen things like what you described happen in several different fandoms of varying popularity, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But you're 100% right, engaging in regular fandom behaviour is perfectly normal, even interacting with creators/actors/musicians/whoever on social media (or in person if you meet them). It's HOW you interact with them. You need to both have your own and respect their boundaries.

I'm a fan of a couple 80s/90s boybands, as you just... ARE as an elder millennial lmao, and I can understand how easy it is as a young teen to go too far and cross boundaries because you just don't have the life experience or really, emotional regulation to interact with your idols in a normal way. But I've seen that now carry on well into adulthood, the things grown-ass women TO THIS DAY say about the wives of some of these band members is shocking (maybe not to you though since you've lived it!). I've had several conversations where I've had to remind people that literally every interaction they've had with these people at official meet & greets and stuff, even to an extent their interactions on social media, it's like the famous-person equivalent of Customer Service Voice. They're working! Of course they're nice to you when you paid like $500 to talk to them for thirty seconds! It doesn't mean you're friends!

(Not shaming paid M&Gs, I've done them, I'd do them again, it's an opportunity my 13 year old self never thought she'd had but like... I'm not secretly dating a Backstreet Boy because I met them for five seconds, y'know?)

Anyway yeah... all this to say, you're right. Parasocial relationships are a natural part of fandom and they're FINE and GOOD you just gotta respect boundaries.

[putschki1969]

Hello! Big fan here, I just wanna ask: what are the qualities/traits of the Kalafina girls that caught you by surprise/off guard? Like, "hey, I didn't expect this from Keiko/Wakana/Hikaru". It doesn't have to be related to their singing haha but for me, I was genuinely caught off guard by how beautiful Hikaru's falcetto is, and I still think it's the most beautiful falcetto I've ever heard. I always look forward to when they're performing oblivious because of this, but I want 2 know what u think

*waves* Hello!!!

Forgive me for taking SO LONG to reply to your ask. This has gotten a little lost in my draft section and now I am finally working through all those abandoned posts. Sorry!! m(._.)m

First of all, OMG, YES, Hikaru’s falsetto is absolutely gorgeous!!! The later “oblivious” performances have all been amazing, I am so glad I got to hear Hikaru’s falsetto live at the 10th Anniversary concert. She slays those Hanae parts and I am just super happy for her because she is no longer reduced to having to lip-sync her way through this song.

As for my thoughts…It’s actually surprisingly hard for me to put my love for Kalafina into words (／。＼) But I shall try my best!

Since we are already talking about Hikaru, let’s start with her.

~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Hikaru Edition: First of all I really love her stubborness. At first glance you wouldnt assume her to be the stubborn type but what’s that saying? Quiet waters run deep. She will not be influenced by others and when she has her mind set on something she will see things through no matter what. I am quite stubborn myself so I really appreciate that trait in others. It may be seen negatively by some people but I think it’s actually a big strength. Just looking at her tweets is so inspiring, she always has a life-lesson in store for us. I am so proud of her for taking on the challenge of becoming a solo singer all by herself. It must be so intimidating and I am sure there are lots of hurdles she has to get past. But if there is one person who can do it is Hikaru!! And then there is something I have only recently become aware of. It’s Hikaru’s love and appreciation for us fans. Again and again I am surprised by how much she thinks about us. The way she interacts with us on twitter (how she even thinks about foreign fans), the way she conducted her birthday event. The way she is taking her fans’ wishes into account while preparing for her solo live in December. I am just so incredibly grateful to her. And honestly, she has been like that ever since the beginning. Just look at her blog posts. Since 2009 she has been uploading posts super frequently (more so than Keiko and Wakana I think) and she has always kept us up-to-date with her travel diaries.As a singer/vocalist/performer: I was obviously thrown off by Hikaru’s fierceness because one would never expect her to have such a strong stage presence just by looking at her.

~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Keiko Edition: I think it must be her love for and protectiveness of Wakana and Hikaru. Reading all of her interviews it seems like in the past Keiko never really cared a lot about other people, I guess you could say she was a little arrogant/self-centred. And hey, there is nothing wrong with that, especially if you are part of the entertainment industry. However, working together with Wakana and Hikaru for such a long time really changed her. She obviously cares so much about them and wants to make sure they are doing fine. It was never just about supporting them vocally, no, she always supported them in all aspects of life. Keiko was the driving force of Kalafina, she took it upon herself to “take the lead” when Wakana and Hikaru might not have felt comfortable with it. Even now you can still tell that she is a beacon of strength for Hikaru. Hikaru has tweeted a couple of times that she always feels better and more confident after she has talked with Keiko. Unfortunately we don’t see any of that being posted publicly but I am 100% certain that Keiko is also supporting Wakana in her endeavours. Aside from her protectiveness I was really surprised by her vulnerability and her determination to hide that side of herself from us. We all know she is strong, tough and super determined. Among the three members of Kalafina she is least likely to show her emotions but once in a while she will open up a little and let us know that hidden behind that stoic exterior there’s actually a very sensitive girl. Of course she will do her very best to hide it from us - she really doesn’t like showing her tears - but once in a while we are lucky to get a glimpse of her more vulnerable side. I was really surprised when I first read her solo interviews in “Kalafina Record” and “Kadokawa” because, they are so “real” and personal. It makes me cry whenever I read about Keiko’s insecurities when she started working together with Yuki Kajiura and the other singers. How she thought she couldn’t do anything and she was dragging everyone down. Keiko takes pride in being the best in what she does so for her to admit that she had so much trouble fitting in due to feeling inadequate, it’s something incredibly rare.As a singer/vocalist/performer:Well, what can I say except her deep and sultry voice? I think everyone is caught off-guard when they first hear those low notes coming out of her mouth. No one expects this cute little girl to be able to produce such a deep, dark singing voice.

~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Wakana Edition:Wakana has always been very open about herself, what we see is what we get. So I guess there is not a lot that has surprised me throughout the years. But if I had to pick something it would probably be her strength to move forward despite hardships. Hikaru has her stubbornness and Keiko has her determiniation, they are both incredibly strong women. Next to them Wakana often comes across as frail and a little weak. She has openly admitted to be the type that easily gives up and there was a time when she seriously considered quitting Kalafina. And I do not blame her for that. Just imagine what she must have gone through! With her voice going through all these changes it must have been so rough for her. It’s obvious that Yuki Kajiura has always been most demanding of Wakana. Not to crumble beneath all that pressure takes a lot of strength and stamina, especially if you are slowly becoming aware that you might no longer be able to properly fulfull all these demands. The fandom’s disdain turning full force towards her probably didn’t make things any better. Yet, despite all of this, she kept going, she persevered. Yes, she did have Keiko and Hikaru at her side to support her but it was still Wakana who made the decision to continue. That takes a lot of strength!And these days she is even stronger and braver because she is slowly taking control of her life. She knew the consequences of staying with Space Craft but she took her chances. She cannot please everyone, she knows that and she doesn’t care. She wants to follow her dreams and right now that’s all that counts for her. I think Wakana is a people-pleaser at heart and for the longest time she has done nothing but give things to others without ever taking her own wishes and needs into account. It takes courage to change a mindset like that. Her interviews reveal the struggles she has been going through, of wanting to please her audience but also wanting to do her own thing (knowing that her old Kalafina fanbase might not appreciate it). As a singer/vocalist/performer: I guess it just always surprises me to see that a woman with such an angelic voice is actually a big-fat dork.