#IC. ( buffy summers. )

[feylived]

at first she thought the dreams were nothing new. just a life that she had imagined with him for so long, them in the sun and his heart under her ear. something buffy's pictured for so long, that the images had started to feal real.

she'd written them off as the part of her brain that was allowed to be selfish, and god is it ever selfish when she sleeps. even when the pain is the sharpest, when the idea of having a sort of future with him where they are just buffy and angel and for once there's no obsticles in their way, she welcomes the dreams. they've been with her from the start, but they hurt more now than ever before.

god, does she feel like a masochist for the pain.

buffy's not sure when it shifted, the feeling that these moments were simply something from her imagination, something she was so desperate to have that she could nearly touch it, and suddenly felt real. tangible in a way that nothing ever had been before, not even the prophetic dreams that sometimes haunt her.

she hadn't told giles, not even told willow or her mom, for fear of sounding like a love sick girl that was having a mental breakdown from a five minute interaction with her former lover, and held the dreams close to her chest instead. they'd eaten away at her like a moth at clothes locked in a closet, slowly and painfully until suddenly the dam breaks and the memories flowed.

it had come like a shock to her system, a sudden onslaught of feelings that left her breathless and yearing deeply for something, and buffy hadn't thought twice about making her way to la. her dad had been surprised when she popped in for a visit, overnight bag over her shoulder. but like the good man he is, he'd said nothing as he let her into his home, even though buffy can still see the crease between his eyes.

mom's gonna definitely get a call about this when she heads home.

and now like in her dreams she stands before him, heart in her hands and bleeding all out on the floor. but he's always been able to see it, so surely it's nothing new. does he see the scars that he left behind when he turned on her graduation night, or are they too covered up by the ones left by the day that never was?

how long have you known?

＂ for ... ＂ god, she doesn't even know. what does she even tell him? oh, i've known since the day that my dreams turned into memories because whatever powers that be decided to fuck with me even more than they already do, because apparently i don't hurt enough already? or maybe i've always known, even though they tried to take it away from me, my heart wouldn't let me forget for long? neither answer is fair, not to her and not even to him, but she can't help but wonder if he feels the ache the same way that she does, or if carrying the day with him since it was ripped from them has left a scar on his own heart.

＂ so it's true? ＂ buffy says instead, eyes bright as silver tears pool at the bottom of her gaze, half of her almost hoping that this was some bad dream she would wake up from soon. ＂ it really happened, i mean, you were human? for a day. i really felt your heart beat, didn't i? i felt your heart beat. ＂

i remembered every moment we spent together. @feylived

“ buffy… i… ” it wasn't your choice to make alone— deep down, you knew it. he seemed so certain at the time, when reality reared its ugly head and her well-being was on the line. he'd raced against the clock, weak and wonderfully human, ultimately pressuring his best friend to take him to a world beyond. he pleaded and bargained and failed to consider the consequences. angel forced their hands in the matter: doyle's to show him the path, buffy's to push away forever. ( two evident departures in the span of crucial weeks, yet now one has returned to him. and she remembers. he doesn't know how to cope with the knowledge. ) ever the stubborn beast upon a formulated plan: it was his decision or none at all... but it shouldn't have be like that with her. he shall remain alone as long as his destiny deems, but how could he not yearn for more as he held his beloved in his arms? it was beautiful in every sense of the word, though forbidden in more ways than one.

angel spoke when appropriate dormancy passed, silently organising some kind of coherency in his head. this was the last thing he expected. was it so terrible that some part of him found relief in her newfound epiphany? he dared to glance her direction after a breath was pulled inwards, into the ancient heart only she felt move, felt come alive under the warmth and comfort she provided. “ i wanted to tell you, so many times. ” each time i saw your face. the haunted moments i watched you at his side, a boy able to give you the things i can't. except for our one chance when the stars aligned and nothing mattered. only us. “ but i couldn't. and if you remember everything, then you know why i had to do it. why i... ” he is a scorched soul touched by a goddess; the darkness inside never deserved the light she breathed into him. to hell if he didn't crave it, anyway. “ why we couldn't stay that way. ” a poor excuse— the poorest.

he remains reverent in her plight, standing without judgement, all the while knowing that nothing has been right since that day. he can't regret it ( he can't. he'll never allow himself to ), but there's no denying the constant what-ifs which continue to bombard him from the second he wakes, to the sunrises to follow. “ it all just happened so quickly... ” he sighs, attempting to explain. there's little means to defend himself. “ i didn't want you to carry the burden of knowing. ” the way i have. he won't mollify her anger or sadness. angel merely wants to understand, to learn if she agrees to his resolution, or hates him for it. “ when... how long have you known? ”

[btvs3x21]

[lemurchick]

RIP Michelle Trachtenberg her life wasn't easy., but we will always remember her.

[texaschainsawmascara]

Aaron Carter (1987-2022) & Michelle Trachtenberg (1985-2025), 2002

[anthroxlove]

I loved Michelle in so many things, starting with the childhood series "The Adventures of Pete & Pete", but what really drew me to her was the movie "Harriet the Spy". I remember running around with a journal, spying on random people, and jotting down my observations—doing my best to be just like her.

Through the years, she popped up in other shows and movies I loved, and then, out of nowhere, she appeared as Dawn. Literally—because, well, if you know, you know (I won’t spoil "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" for anyone, because it’s too damn good). The girl who was so annoying at first that you just wanted her to go away, but within a few episodes, became someone you couldn’t imagine the show without. After countless rewatches, Dawn has become one of my favorite characters.

And of course, there’s Georgina Sparks on "Gossip Girl"—AKA 'The Witch of the Upper East Side.' What a fun, hilarious character! I also adored her in the short-lived series "Mercy".

Rest in peace, Michelle. You truly defined a generation. 💕

[sublimerebeldefendor]

Michelle Trachtenberg RIP

October 11, 1985 - February 26, 2025

[fictiongods]

Somewhere out there Buffy Summers is doing that figure skating transition tread to Oscar Winning Tears and it makes me happy

[thecreativemillennial]

R.i.p to michelle trachtenberg, who recently passed away at the age of 39

[dogmalilith]

Michelle Trachtenberg, Jewish ‘Gossip Girl’ and ‘Buffy’ star, dies at 39.

Jewish actress Michelle Trachtenberg has been found dead in her New York City apartment.

She was one of a trio of Jewish actresses to star in the supernatural series “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” along with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alyson Hannigan, and later appeared in a recurring role on the prep school drama “Gossip Girl.” In between, she starred in the raunchy 2004 teen comedy “EuroTrip.”

On Instagram, Trachtenberg made occasional references to her Jewish identity, posting about a Hanukkah celebration a decade ago and again about the holiday in 2022. Since the October 7, 2023, Hamas onslaught that launched the war in Gaza and touched off a wave of global antisemitism, Trachtenberg has posted photos of herself wearing a Star of David necklace and another, last year, of a Mickey Mouse Hanukkah backpack along with the caption “Please stop hatred towards the innocent.”

[sweetangelprincessgirl]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I meant to upload this Buffy and Cordy Classic comic during the last Coffy Week and then forgot. Oh well: nothing wrong with doing so now. This comic is silly, of course (which is the point of it). But it's also really, really cute and I love it. I'm always here for more Buffy and Cordy stuff, and them bonding like they deserved to.

[annyankers]

i have an idea -- and bear with me now-- au where wesley is buffy's watcher from day one.

i just want to see wesley shoot angelus with a gun

[childlessdoglady88]

To say I’m upset over the news of Michelle’s death would be an understatement.

She was only 3 years older than me and I’ve been watching her since Harriet the Spy and Inspector Gadget, and I remember being so excited when she was cast on Buffy and Gossip Girl.

I always thought she was so beautiful and had such a fun, expressive face. She was a brilliant actress even as a child, and she broke my heart in the Buffy episodes “The Body” and “Forever”.

I always imagined if Buffy was to come back as a show, one of the main points would be Dawn as a watcher, and with the recent news I was so excited to see what they would do with the character.

This feels like Naya all over again. So sudden and taken way too soon.

RIP Michelle 💔

RIP Little Bit 💔

[prettylittleliarliziexoxo]

From Rod Fletcher on Facebook

“Goodnight, little bit”

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

RIP Michelle Tratchenberg

Thank you for all of the amazing roles you’ve portrayed over the years and all of the inspiration your characters have given me <3

[bethrnoora]

[cocking pistol] rupert giles if you don't sign the adoption papers in the next five minutes we are going to have a fucking problem