#IM ANGRY BUT LIKE. IN A POSITIVE WAY????? IF THAT MAKES ANY SENSE AT ALL

[chaoswithcausation]

GIRL HELP IM ADDING ANOTHER HYPERFIXATION

STUPID FUCKIN HEDGEHOGS BEING SO DAMN LOVABLE

[awearywritersworld]

there can be no covenants between men and lions

ryomen sukuna x reader summary: sukuna would rather contemplate your murder than come to terms with his feelings for you, but you call him out on his bullshit. w/c: 3k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst to fluff. aged up!yuuji. heavy kissing. features yuuji x reader and he is, of course, best boy. cursing. sukuna decides he wants to kill you (so obviously there are mentions of murder and such) but cant even stand the sight of you upset, what a goof. i'd once again like to think sukuna's not too ooc in this but im still more than likely delusional. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: i was so touched by all of the love that part one received, i wanted to try my hand at part two. i hope i've done it justice! just as part one references homer's the odyssey, this references homer's the illiad because sukuna is very hot and well read. achilles, the protagonist of the novel, is discussed. i'm definitely open to writing a part three, because this one is much heavier on the angst and i miss soft sukuna from part one. series masterlist // masterlist

you and yuuji rarely argue, but when you do, it's often over his aversion toward seriousness, even when a situation calls for it. though you really should have kept your mouth shut, because in this moment, you'd give anything to see his typical carefree expression.

his eyes are regarding you intently, taking in your flustered appearance with knitted brows.

"yuuji..." you trail off, wracking your brain for an explanation of your current predicament.

despite the fact he regained control of his body only moments ago, one of his hands is curled around the back of your neck, while the other is resting on your hip.

"baby, what happened?" he presses, the tone of his voice entirely unreadable.

"s-sukuna," is all you can manage to choke out.

his eyes darken immediately, his jaw tensing in a way that intimidates you. "he hurt you."

you really can't tell if it's a question or a statement, and your response comes a little too quickly. "no! that's not... no."

the next few seconds tick by in a slow sort of agony, heat creeping up your cheeks.

he notices for the first time that his head is eerily quiet. no snide remarks, no scathing commentary. just his own thoughts as he pieces together the situation.

his gaze drops to the angry, red marks littering your neck and you watch in helpless horror as understanding passes his features.

"oh."

the word hangs in the air as you await his reaction, fully anticipating disgust and betrayal. you're positive it's only a matter of time before he throws you out of the apartment and tells you to never come back.

what you don't expect, however, is the way his shoulders relax as the tension leaves his face.

he straightens himself, arms falling to his sides, but he doesn't put any distance between your bodies.

"how long have you...?" he's not quite sure how to phrase the question.

"a few months. this was the first time anything... um... happened. we usually just talk."

he tilts his head to the side, so you clarify. "after you've fallen asleep."

mulling over the information, he hums in response, looking thoughtful for a few more seconds. then, his usual demeanor is back and he grabs your hand. "wanna get dinner? i'm starving!"

he tugs you a few feet toward the door before you come to your senses. "woah, woah. wait a second, yu."

when he looks back at you expectantly, you find that his face holds not one hint of bitterness or judgement. "aren't you angry?"

you're amazed to find that he's the one looking sheepish.

"how could i be? it's not exactly easy to be with me when i have a thousand year old curse rattling around in my body, but you stay anyway," he expresses, making your heart soften. "i just want you to be safe, so i'll take whatever relationship the two of have now over him being a threat to you."

as your hands reach up to cradle his face and your eyes sparkle with adoration, you briefly wonder how you ever found such a sweet man. he places a quick kiss to your lips, the smile on his face easy going as ever. "sooooo, i'm thinking takoyaki or maybe udon—"

"we can get whatever you want," you glance at the spatters of blood across his chest left there from the mission, no doubt from sukuna's careless slaughter. "as long as you go wash up first."

"right!" he agrees quickly, bounding off to the bathroom.

you stand alone in the middle of your living room, left with the ghost of both yuuji and sukuna's lips against yours and a sense of bewildered excitement.

back in his prison, however, sukuna is furious with himself. he should have let you die that day he kept you from being run over. better yet, he should have killed you with his own hands before the brat won back control of his body.

he is a terrible being that delights in carnage, a fact that's well known even centuries later. so why, when he could have done anything in the world, did he go to you? you even asked that same question before you—

he rejects the memory of you pressing your lips to his disdainfully.

your foolishness and your naivete are revolting. your softness and your pliancy are nauseating.

he shouldn't have been anywhere near you, if not to rip your obnoxious heart from your chest like he'd always planned. it was a situation he'd dreamt about and now it's slipped through his fingers, even though those same fingers had graced your fragile little neck.

you were nothing more than a clueless mouse in the jaws of a snake, and though the pains of hunger have been tearing at its stomach for years now, the serpent let itself starve.

sukuna retreats to his domain, fingers prodding at his temples irritably. he allows himself to wallow for a few hours, shutting out both you and the brat.

then, steeling his resolve, he begins to watch and wait like the predator he knows himself to be.

lulled into a false sense of security regarding your safety, it's clear that yuuji has let his guard down. just barely so, but enough that sukuna can see a few weaknesses in his chains. ironic seeing that, now more than ever, the king of curses wants you dead.

it goes without saying that he promptly ceases his nightly interactions with you. it's beneath him, wasting his time with a human. he knows that now.

but while he may not speak to you, he cannot refrain from stealing glances as the days stretch on. you're usually reading, completely oblivious to his watchful eye. he convinces himself it's simply to keep tabs on you, as he's deemed you his foremost enemy.

he's not sure how much time has passed when you begin calling out for him in hushed whispers after yuuji falls asleep, the hurt and confusion in your voice plain to him. it's irksome, and evidently, you're incapable of taking a hint.

his silence becomes more painful with each turn of the moon. you're a bit mortified to find that you genuinely miss him, so you just want answers. did he finally realize that you're nothing special, not worth bothering with?

eventually, growing restless, you all but beg him. "sukuna, please. talk to me. what happened? what'd i do wrong?" his chest tightens with what he believes is vexation. "you can't just make me like you and then disappear. you can't kiss me like that and then—"

"you insolent, maddening little creature!" his eye flies open just in time to see you gasp, your body jerking away from him. "shut up already! can't you see i want nothing to do with you? don't you tire of being pathetic?"

you don't dignify him with a response, swallowing thickly and turning away from him.

finally, he thinks, some fucking quiet. though if he's gotten what he wanted, why does his chest still ache?

he stares at the back of your form until the sun rises.

sukuna is no simpleton. he can be patient when he is sure of a reward, but he's thrilled that the perfect opportunity arises just two days after your encounter.

yuuji is exhausted. gojo kept him out all last night, despite the grueling mission he had today, and when he all but stumbles through your apartment door, the moon is already high in the sky.

you never mention the change in your relationship with sukuna to yuuji. even though he was so understanding, you still feel a touch awkward discussing it further. and maybe in the back of your mind, you're holding out hope that it might go back to the way it was.

sukuna watches through yuuji's eyes when you greet him, your expression half concern and half 'i told you so'. nights out with gojo usually lead to this very situation.

he showers while you finish cooking dinner and once you both eat, he helps you clean up despite his exhaustion. after whispering his thanks and pressing a kiss to your temple, he retires to bed.

you promise you'll join him soon, but sukuna knows it probably isn't true. following his outburst, you've taken to staying in the living room until you're ready to sleep.

yuuji's out before his head hits the pillow and nearly two hours later, you're still not in bed. sukuna's eager, but waits until he's sure the brat's deep in his slumber before he tries to take over. it's relatively easy, and he pushes down yuuji's unconscious mind as far as he can before rising to his feet.

this is finally it. he stretches his limbs lazily, a dangerous smirk settling on his lips. the floor creaks with each step he takes, but he pays no mind to stealth. you're no match for him.

tonight, you'll be his first victim of many and the thought of making up for his past misjudgement has him giddy with excitement.

but the sight that greets him upon exiting the bedroom— you curled into yourself on the couch, your shoulders shaking with quiet sobs— it stops him in his tracks.

he wants to move, more than anything, so what the fuck is wrong with him? is the brat taking over already?

and why is that uncomfortable sensation making it's home in the center of his chest once more?

when you notice his presence, your face shifts to him and reveals your wide, teary eyes. it's clear you're surprised by his appearance, but you quickly bury your face in your knees.

you just want him to leave you alone. you hate him for what he said, for what he did. he forced his way into your life, made you care about him, and then he just vanished. he's cruel and you feel like an idiot because you should have known that from the beginning. or maybe you did and he just made you forget.

"go away. i.. i don't want to see you."

he's disbelieving, for a brief moment, that here you are giving him orders while he stands in the doorway with the intention of taking your life.

he moves toward you, invading your space in a way that is meant to be intimidating, but when you look up at him, every emotion ranging from sadness to rejection to indignation is etched into your features. though the terror he hoped to inspire is noticeably absent.

"i said go away!" you swiftly stand up, your hands meeting squarely with his chest as you push him with every ounce of power you have.

you may as well have shoved a brick wall, as he doesn't move even a fraction of an inch. he seizes one of your wrists anyway.

"what is it you think you're doing, exactly?" he spits.

"let go of me!" you beat against his chest with the hand he left free until his fingers wrap around that wrist too.

"enough."

he's certain there isn't a being that has attacked him (if he can even call that an attack) and lived to speak of it, not once in an entire millennia.

so just end the insolent brat and be done with it, he urges himself.

but he can't and he doesn't understand why, so he just stares down at you.

"what the fuck do you want?" you mean for it to come out forcefully and full of spite, but your voice cracks before you can finish.

an excellent question, indeed. what does he want?

he doesn't answer you and it's so goddamn frustrating that you begin to cry again, rambling to fill the discomforting silence. "you've already told me i'm pitiful and annoying. it's clear you think my company is insufferable, that i'm undesirable—"

that ache in his chest is unbearable now. it claws at his ribcage and shreds the flesh of his heart. it makes his stomach twist uncomfortably and rings shrilly in his ears. he can't even hear you anymore, but he can still see the tears sliding down your cheeks and the way you gasp between words.

the truth of the matter crashes down on him and the devastating weight of it is so crushing it squeezes the air from his lungs.

that feeling in his chest isn't annoyance or repugnance. its anguish— the kind that rattles his bones and leaves him sick with regret.

it's because you're in pain, and worse yet, he is the cause of it.

sukuna pushes you back against the wall before you can comprehend what's happening. his hands find either side of your face and you're alarmed to find that he looks... frightened.

"what are you doing to me?" he pleads for an explanation, because he sure as hell doesn't have one.

how can one little human hold such power over him? it's unnatural. it defies all logic and reason.

you stare at him, open mouthed. his face is so close that his breath fans across your skin and it makes you feel dizzy.

"what are you talking about?" you finally ask.

"you should be dead right now," he frets, despair seeping into every word. "it should be easy."

it dawns on you that you should probably feel afraid, but you just don't. his touch is firm, but careful. and there's no malice to be found behind his eyes. "you're not making any sense."

he thinks back on the time you've spent together, trying to figure out how the hell he ended up here— him at your mercy, rather than you at his. he remembers the first time he made you laugh and considers that it may have been the beginning of his unraveling. for the following two weeks, you both discussed homer at length as you made your way through his poetry.

"there can be no covenants between men and lions. wolves and lambs can never be of one mind, but hate each other through and through." you blink at him, recognizing at once that he's quoting the illiad. his voice is low and unsteady in a way that suggests desperation. it makes you shiver. "therefore there can be no understanding between you and me, nor may there be any covenants between us, till one or other shall fall."

your eyes narrow as you begin to understand his his internal struggle, though you're unsure if he's attempting to reason with you or with himself.

"you quote achilles, and rightfully so i suppose, given your common qualities— exasperating pride and a penchant for meaningless violence." he looks relieved, like your seeming agreement eases his mind. it's short lived. "but you forget his passion."

his gaze shifts away from you, his hands withdrawing from your face.

"his passion?" he repeats as if it's the most incredulous thing he's ever heard.

"by the end of the story, is he not acquainted with regret, sympathy, and respect? he doesn't remain blind to the error of his ways forever."

"only a foolish human could make such fanciful deductions," he chides through gritted teeth, still refusing to meet your eye.

you actually laugh at him. "perhaps you shouldn't call upon achilles to make your point after all. at least he grows out of his utterly childish view of the world."

"how dare you?" he demands, his features growing wild as one hand finds your throat (his touch not nearly harsh enough to cause you any discomfort), the other colliding with the wall beside your head. his display doesn't fool you though. "you witless, wretched brat! you're nothing more than a blip in a universe you cannot even begin to understand. you sicken me."

you throw achilles' words in his face just as easily as he did to you. "hateful to me as the gates of hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another."

his gaze hardens, and for a split second, you think you may have been mistaken in your fearlessness, but then his fingers thread themselves through your hair and he pulls your lips to his.

it's rough and commanding, and he tells himself it's only to get you to shut up. to wipe that expression of smug pity from your face.

it's not because, despite the fact you know how awful he is, you're convinced there's something salvageable in him too. nor is it because you tyrannize his every passing thought. and it's certainly not because the feeling of you pressed against him brings him more satisfaction than ripping the hearts from the chests of a hundred men.

ultimately, his denial is overshadowed by his desire. your touch is nothing short of needy as you tug at his shirt, an attempt to bring him even closer, and god does he hope that means you feel just as desperate as he does. he deserves at least a little consolation.

as his hands roam every valley and curve of your body, he deems it unfair that a being whose very existence spells hell on earth should be so taken with such a devastatingly divine creature.

"i've wanted you so terribly," he mumbles against your mouth before he can stop himself.

"then fuck you for making us both wait," you breath out.

his fingers dig into the flesh of your hips in response and his lips shift to your neck. "watch that pretty little mouth of yours, brat."

he nips at the spot just below your ear hard enough that it makes you gasp, doubtless a punishment for your impudence. you recover quickly though, wasting no time with your flippant reply. "or what? you'll go back to plotting my murder?"

he pulls away from you abruptly, sighing deeply and pinching the bridge of his nose. "you truly have zero sense of self preservation, don't you?"

"guess so," you shrug, smiling at him bashfully. "can we watch a movie? i'll even let you pick."

you ask as if it's the most normal request in the world. as if he isn't a thousand year old curse that would be off turning the city to ash were he not here with you instead.

he rolls his eyes, scoffing at the ridiculousness of it all. "fine."

[azulaaaaaaah]

rating every zuko ship (cause that mf is shipped with everyone)

CLICKBAIT!!! this isn’t every zuko ship just the main ones i immediately lied lol. idk if any of these are hot takes or not but please don’t crucify me (might do a part 2 where it’s azula ships)

Jinko - Zuko/Jin

6/10

awwww it’s cute (for what it is)

and what it is was one singular date that was never really mentioned again

i really appreciate how jin is so unperturbed by zuko’s awkward angst and just genuinely likes him

howevvver she’s kinda one dimensional (as she’s only in like an episode) and i just don’t see this going anywhere longterm

less a ship, more a vehicle for zuko’s character development lol

Jetko- Zuko/Jet

3/10

jet being zuko’s first gay encounter is canon in my eyes

don’t ship them however cause i hate jet with the fire of a thousands suns

similar issues to jin as well where their interactions are extremely limited so personally have no clue how this could be a long term thing

Maiko- Zuko/Mai

5/10

i am so impartial on this ship it’s not even funny.

i get that it’s canon. i get that izumi looks suspiciously like mai so it’s endgame. i just don’t see HOW?? it feels as if the writers realised zutara was becoming popular and were like ‘OH SHIT WE GOTTA DEFUSE THIS SITUATION SOMEHOW’

their relationship is basically just mai being a cold asshole and zuko being an angry asshole and there’s no change or development between EITHER OF THEM

however when they’re cute they’re cute !!!!

‘i love zuko more than i fear you’ COLDEST LINE EVER

however again it’s like - you had a crush on him as a kid. he was BANISHED. you dated for like a month as teens. you argued the whole time. he left again- and shortly after you saved him from prison, but then you were imprisoned partly due to his actions. you get back together again, he becomes the ruler of a country, and then you’re surprised it’s isolating him/making him even more of an asshole???

on the other hand we as a society need to admit that zuko is weirdly possessive of her (ig that’s a positive if ur a booktok romance girlie but im not). like if i was mai i wouldn’t put up with that toxic shit either

at the end of the day, i honestly don’t care that they’re canon lol- but i think they’d probably best as a bitchy best friend duo

Zukaang - Zuko/Aang

1/10

not round here partner. not round here

my first issue is the age gap is objectively extremely weird if examined in canon. leaving it at that

i get that this is grumpy x sunshine in a way the other ships aren’t to me- but we’ve only ever seen these two characters interact with each other when there’s (again) A WEIRD AGE GAP

they are bros in the least homosexual way possible

the cherry on top of this situation is: isn’t aang the reincarnation of his great grandpa? isn’t that giving slight, uh, inc*st vibes??? imagine if people shipped korra and jinora isn’t that just WEIRD???

Zuki - Zuko/Suki

8/10

is this my most controversial take ???

i am a sucker for bodyguard x royal family dynamics guys

and the fact that this is girlboss x malewife is even BETTER

suki seems the most competent at handling his pissy ass in a way the other people on this list aren’t

like she’s real. she’s not sugarcoating his situation, BUT SHES COMPASSIONATE !!

i don’t like throuples typically but suzukki is even eliter than this, which removes the whole ‘going against the bro code’ element that arises from them being together

also i feel like if you haven’t read the comics this doesnt make sense At All so please do

-2 points for the lack of tangible reason to ship them lol

Zutara - Zuko/Katara

7.5/10

okay this one makes the most logistical sense to me within canon (solely examined as a zuko ship not overall)

it really seems as if they were gonna make this canon and swerved circa book 2

LIKE CMONNNN OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS WHERE THE GUY ACTUALLY HAS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND ISN’T JUST EVIL? FIRE X WATER? ITS INTRIGUING

something about this makes me uncomfortable though. (despite the age gap which again a little weird)

something about katara potentially becoming the fire lady is so… icky. she’s a waterbender. the fire nation tried to systematically erase her kind. her mother is killed by the fire nation because they think she’s a waterbender. and katara…. what, becomes part of the royal family? it just seems wrong, and like something she wouldn’t be into

also i feel like their arguments would be a little too NUCLEAR. there’s like, a 50% chance of divorce

she deserves a better ending than that is all i’m saying

to paraphrase the hunger games: katara has plenty of fire herself. SHE NEEDS THAT DANDELION IN THE SPRING MAN

(i’m a kataang truther)

Zukka - Zuko/Sokka

9/10

my zuko related otp!!!

bros to lovers guys, where zuko falls first but sokka falls HARDER !!!

ik this will never be canon and im happy with that. i know there’s not even a whisper of romance between them in the show, but i just think it’s c u t e .

sokka (like suki) is very likely to call zuko out on his shit, but less likely to lose his own shit (like katara)

this in my heart of hearts is 10/10 however is still problematic in a similar way to zutara

his mother is killed by the fire nation and he (presumably) becomes consort ?

however though, i would still say it’s not as ruhroh as zutara bc firstly, sokka isn’t a waterbender, and secondly, ‘consort’ is a lot more open to interpretation than i think fire lady is. in my opinion a consort ≠ a fire lady, just like irl a consort ≠ a queen. it kinda means he can still be ambassador to the southern water tribe/a leader of his own people, while just so happening to be married to the fire lord.

overall i can’t help but stan a friends to lover ship cmOn now

[mrmistakemakeroy]

how i see "The helper" episode . (i have diagnosed adhd and autism fyi: everyone is different so take what i say with that context <3 not all autistic people are like me so please understand this is more based on my experience personally)

Really weird post i know but hear me out. When i watch "The helper " i immediatly think about having meltdowns as a little kid or just any age in general wether online or irl.

^ Like if you`re looking at it like i am, you can understand why id say it feels like hes having a meltdown / breakdown because something that makes sense to him most of the time, now makes no sense at all to him / freaks him out |

| (Being unable to help people because they do not need his help which he is not used to , thus making him react way worse then most people would sense it is something very special to him Like how people will have specific special intrests or hyperfixations etc) personally i freak out and get meltdowns when my pc is broken or needs fixed and i cannot draw whatsoever for long peroids of time. )

and how you / i would immediatly feel ashamed , nervous and guilty afterwards , or just generally exhausted or depending on the person feel like a burden on the people around you.

(also for this next part yes i know this is implied to be sylvia`s idea but it still makes me wanna tear up because it hits home way too hard) and other people will immediatly treat you as a "trouble maker" that has to be dealt with , punished or pushed aside even tho its something you cant help and sometimes cant even understand .

the dialogue espeically is a gut punch for me.

"ohh.. So this is the guy you want out of town "

" i get it " he`s hurt , and ashamed of himself. and its probably a stretch but i feel like this has happened before because of how he says " i get it . " then he tries to turn it into a positive as per usual to his character writing , thats how much he loves helping people.

its his special intrest / hyperfixation <3333 so of course he can try to turn it into something fun . and the rest of the episode goes on as he Does what they asked him to. and they immediately reward him for throwing himself out of their way .

(this genuinely makes me so mad i`m sorry fuck those towns people man you could`ve just talked to him instead GRAHHHH) and how he gets super happy after FINALLY pleasing them.

hes so silly :33

also this last bit makes me angry a little

"son"

"thanks" ( im going to eat your soul stfu /halfjoke )

"happy i could help!! "

"that makes two of us " (BONUS) ALSO I WANT TO MENTION the scene where he tries to " stop " lord hater. I feel like this is him being pushed to his absolute limit to a point he tried to do something very out of character just for the comfort and relief of "doing something good" like hes reverting to the basics of "being a good guy " just to get that comfort of helping someone again.

it reminds me of that Version of himself in "the wanders" where the piece of himself that holds his trauma / what made him want to help everyone is still not inside of him yet, and he goes on a rant about how he is going to stop lord hater

"wander are you okay ?? " "im MORE then okay "

"IMMMM PERFECT !"

"Now come trusty steed , its time to stop that HEARTLESS evil doer LORD HATER ONCE AND FOR ALL !! "

"wait what-" "stop ?"

"YES! i am a good guy , and he is a bad guy. " "AND I STOP HIM ! "

------------------- HELPPPPP.... seriously tho sorry for the long rant about this episode but it genuinely hit home so hard that i have cried multipule times unironicly because of it. Reminder that im veiwing this through my own experience of growing up on the spectrum (adhd + autism specifically) not everyone on the spectrum will be the same as me when it comes to this episode. I had to get this out of my system because it was eating at my brain sorry yall 💔💔💔

if i made any typos or worded anything weird its becuase its harder for me to write long posts plus as of writing its 01:17 on my computor clock.

[caitlinsnicket]

izzy hands sfw headcanons part 1

a/n: i was gonna make one post with all the headcanons, then i was gonna split nsfw from sfw, and now i had to split the sfw because it's too big. part 2 here. part 3 here. im losing it

repressed little angry man with his repressed little feelings

his loyalty is yours. privately, yes, but yours. he'd put himself between anything and anyone for you

he carves wooden things for you, sea animals, boats and anything else you mention you like. he might give it to you directly or just leave it in your things

when you thank him, he either calls you twat and tells you to fuck off or just nods his head with a little smile on his face

if you ask him to, he'll sing for you, and blush while doing it

it also becomes a habit between the two of you to sing together in the privacy of his cabin, slowdancing with the melody

he also sings sometimes to wake you up because he knows you like his raspy voice

fuuuuuuck his raspy voice. gets raspier in the mornings, and it never fails to make your knees buckle. because he knows that, it's not unusual for him to sneak behind you to whisper nonsense in your ear

praises you for anything you do, even things unrelated to piracy. you make a good knot? "that's very good". you manage to cook a half decent egg? "it's perfect, love". you style his hair in a different way for fun? "i've never looked so good. that's all you, dear"

he starts wearing fingerless gloves to feel your skin against his at all times

physical touch is mandatory and something he craves constantly, specially when you're in his line of sight

sometimes you think he's purring when you give him any kind of physical affection, but that's only a theory that you keep private

his pda evolves around kissing your hand while being flirty

big attatchment issues. as in he'll freak out a little if he doesn't know where you are

he's always worrying about you, in what he believes is a subtle manner. in front of the crew, he pretends he's going to chastise you in private, when in reality he's just asking you if you need anything or if you're tired

likes to boss you around for funsies, but if you'd rather sit still and look pretty for him, he's happy to ignore the rest of the crew's protests at your special treatment

likes to teach you things around the ship just to be close to you and feel pride at how fast you're learning (praise him for being a good teacher, you might make him blush).

might slap you in the ass if you do a good job and no one is around to tease him

he's always baffled by how much you want him, and not just in the physical sense. when he sees how much you're working for the relationship to function, how much effort you put into making him happy, he's at a loss of words

he's worried that you were going to be put-off by his violence, but when you welcome it as just another lovable part of him, he knows you're the one

if you use violence for him (to protect or defend), he'll have to use every fiber of his being to hold back tears. having people care for him is a new experience, and it becomes overwhelming

he's incredibly funny when he wants to, and not just when he's bitching about the crew. just funny

will do anything to make you smile or laugh at him. it's not uncommon to see him joining in on the crew's shenanigans just to see you happy

when he's sad he'll go quiet, sad puppy eyes looking defeated, and it's very likely he'll lash out on the crew

he cries a lot, violently, his sobs go through his whole body and he shakes so much you thought he had a cold the first time it happened

when you wipe away his tears and just hold him close, he almost believes he deserves to be loved

he fusses a lot when you try to comfort him, wiggling away from your grasp and telling you to fuck off, before melting into you and breaking down in your arms

it's very difficult for him to accept these kinds of things, so praise him while you're at it, give him positive reinforcement and he'll get used to the comfort you provide him

his smiles light up the world, but you can't tell him that otherwise he'll hold himself back. unless you're both alone, in his cabin, huddled together and he smiles at you, you trace the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth and just whisper "you're fucking beautiful", he'll blush and bury his face on your hands, a low rumble on his chest

[c4ttheart]

yuta okkotsu x gn!reader wc 700

TW mentions of sh, suicide. angst with an attempt at humor

his soul is feeble, crunching underneath your shoes like the earth you walk on. his heart is even weaker, it has been tossed, thrown and pulled apart by your hands.

but he stays, because you are the only real thing he has ever known. he stays, because he loves you. and he stays, because he knows that at the end of the day, it is your presence he yearns for. what he doesn’t know, is if you feel the same.

yuta okkotsu is fragile, nimble and most definitely comparable to a grain of sand. he is easily influenced by the wind, swaying and changing shapes whenever he is asked to. he is also insignificant, laying amongst his peers on a beach.

you are everything he is not. you are kind, and gentle, and impatient, and your mind is built like a fortress, unable to be broken when constructed. if he is the sand, then you are the sea. and gojo probably is the seagull. (he drops his shit on yuta whenever he feels like it.)

yuta likes flowers. he isn’t particularly fond of daisies, but he enjoys picking petals wondering if you love him or not. he finds that he likes a lot of things. you are one of them.

you have an odd way of showing your affection, squeezing his arm when you are overly excited, digging your fingernails in his skin or having random bursts of energy even when he knows you slept very little that night. he doesn’t mind the temporary marks or the walls shaking due to your little jumps, as long as he gets to see you grin like you have just discovered what living feels like.

but he is so, so wrong, because you do not live, you survive. although yuta is attentive, he fails to see the signs when he is too engrossed in not letting red seep through his cheeks when you look at him.

he fails to notice the meaning of the « i’m tired » you let out, or the scars on your upper thighs. he fails, and fails, and fails again. can he even do anything right ?

the grain of sand he has become is engulfed by the waves crashing upon the shore, silently nestled in the water, away from the light, away from all sense of rationality. he is far, far gone, drowning but not really. he doesn’t mind being cut off from the surface, the oxygen his survival depends on, because at least he is being sweeped around by your body of water. it is only when he is tossed upon the beach and his lungs receive much needed air that he connects the dots.

a letter is neatly positioned on his desk, perfectly angled and flat against the wood of the table. the writing is neat, and he wonders for a brief moment if the epitome of perfection themself has written this. his eyes go wide when he sees the familiar name and signature on the bottom, scanning over the paper to catch brief mentions of « sorry » and « i can’t do this any longer. »

his legs take him away as he rushes through the halls, daisy petals falling from his pockets, all uneven pointing to the sign that you love him not. he sprints, tumbling into corners and walls as if an angry maki was running after him. it is only once he is in the secured presence of gojo does he let himself take a breath, and his knees go weak.

he cannot bear the truth, pools of tears flooding from his eyes. he realises timberlake was right, you can cry rivers.

when yuta okkotsu reaches his room again, he swallows, and his breathing becomes ragged. his fingers skim along the paper, tracing every outline of every word you have written. his vision can only make it past the title before it becomes blurry, miserable sobs making themselves past his lips.

he stops once again when he has reached the ending. he reads the last sentence over and over until he is sure he can hear your voice reading it for him in his head.

« sincerely yours (because that’s all i’ll ever be), (name). »

you’ll always be his, and he will always be miserable. after all, he is just a grain of sand.

me 🤝 major character death and making the love interest loose sense of rationality

im gonna b 100% honest im not sure of the meaning of half the words i wrote but ermm lmk if u want the suicide note bc i alr have half of it written down

[yourlocalmerchgirl]

The War Within - Part One

Briefly Joel x Neurodivergant Reader Then Tommy x Neurodivergant wife reader

Summary: You've only been with Joel for 6 months when the outbreak happens, flipping your entire life into a hell scape. Feeling backed into a corner and completely suffocated by life you decide to join the Fireflies with Tommy after a heartbreaking event to search for a better life and the two of you end up in Jackson

A twist of fate happens and you and Tommy Fall in love and get married when Joel and Ellie turn up in Jackson one day and you have to face him all these years later

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, Angst- Lots of it, Verbal fighting- lots of it , course language, emotional, some fluff and happiness, talks of anxiety, depression, Panic attacks, Neurodivergant reader. No use of y/n. Reader goes by the nickname Birdie. Use of typical pet name.

A/N: I hope you all love this new multi part journey I've been working on, I'm extremely proud of this story. I understand that this storyline/ themes aren't for everyone. Part Two will be out shortly.

More often then not you felt like you were outside of your body, floating above it.

Being a spectator to your own life, watching as your dissociative cocoon wrapped itself around you taking hold.

You found yourself in this position for days or weeks at a time. It was your body’s way of protecting itself after years of constantly being in fight or flight mode.

You looked on as you desperately tried to hold on to what little you had left, to your life with Joel. But it was like trying to hold on to a wet rope in the middle of a tsunami. Slowly losing your grip you began to drown, fighting desperately to stay above water. The more you tried to kick to the surface, the more tired you became and the more tired you became the less you fought to stay afloat.

Time dragged on, the air had a thickness to it you’d not yet felt. Everything sounded slow and muffled as you tried to make sense of why and how long you two had been fighting for.

“Are you even listening to me?” Joel pressed, getting more aggravated by the minute.

He got nothing as you blankly stared back him, eyes glazed over.

“Unbelievable…. I should be looking after Sarah, not looking after you”

Joel’s words snapped you back to reality. the fog that incased you not thick enough to protect you from the verbal blow as it struck you, deep and abrupt.

Your whole body burned, the tears started falling so quickly that you had no hope of stoping them even if you tried. The two of you often hastily said things to each other in the heat of the moment when you both reached the point of overstimulation. Things that neither of you meant. But this, this felt different. You knew the tone of Joel’s voice well, always able to understand his meaning by the tone of his voice. His tone was razor sharp, with an anger behind it that he had never used with you before.

“This is why we can’t talk things out like this, why nothing gets resolved. Because you cry every-time we have a argument”

“Are you fucking kidding me Joel?” You shout. Completely losing all ability to keep it in.

“Im sorry I care, that I’m emotional. Trust me I would much rather feel nothing 24/7 than to feel everything as if it’s a electrical currant passing through me, but I can’t. No matter how fucking hard I try I’m always going up be sensitive and emotional.”

“The state of the world doesn’t exactly lend its self to being emotional, one wrong move when your heads not focused could cost someone there life. You- you get stuck in these episodes and it’s like your not in your body anymore, I can’t keep keepin an eye on us both. You’re gonna get us killed one of these days.”

It hurts like hell, but it’s the truth and deep down you know it. But it doesn’t make you any less hurt and angry because it’s the truth either.

“I’m sorry Joel. I’m sorry that I should of died instead of Sarah, I’m sorry that no matter what I do I’ll never be enough for you.”

Your admission stuns Joel, your words cutting him like a straight blade razor. You’d never said anything like that about yourself, atleast not out loud you hadn’t.

“I can’t fucking talk to you when we’re like this. I’m going out” Joel exclaims while grabbing his coat.

“Wait, it’s almost curfew, where are you going?” You ask, everything but concern draining from your body.

“I don’t know? I’m just fucking going out, don’t wait up for me” Joel says as he slams the door

“I love you” you shout after him, but if falls on deaf ears.

You cried in silence, thinking about what had lead you to this point. You and Joel never had the chance to truly be happy. Your relationship was so new when the outbreak happened that it was doomed from the start. You two never had the chance to fully open up to each other

It wasn’t all his fault either, Joel was hardened by the cruel bitch that was the universe when it took the one thing he loved more than life itself. You also knew you weren’t easy to deal with, never getting the opportunity to talk to Joel about your anxiety and depression that stemmed from it. About how to spot if you were getting overstimulated and anxious and how to help talk you down from it. Or about how much you relied on a schedule and a routine to navigate life and how much progress you’d made with it all in therapy. Instead you were both thrust into a situation you didn’t have the tools to deal with and thus your relationship suffered at the hands of it.

The further past curfew it got the more you worried about Joel. It terrified you to think about the situations that would unfold if he was caught by Fedra. Dressing in all dark clothing you decided to go out searching for Joel.

Lurking in the shadows for hours you search for Joel, checking every inch of the qz and the seedy areas people hangout after curfew with no luck. The sun will start coming up soon, so you head back to the apartment hoping Joel managed to stumble back there unscathed.

You hear some commotion inside as you reach your apartment door. Slowly opening the door you feel like the wind got knocked out of you when you see Joel burred deep inside Tess, telling her how much he loved her. You stumble backwards as you try to catch your breath, refusing to believe you’re actually seeing this. But the scene before you never changes and your forced to realize this is unfolding in front of your eyes. Silently scrambling you grab your emergency go bag by the door and shut it behind you.

Your mind is racing as you slid down the wall and slump over. Gasping for breath you try desperately to comprehend what you saw, trying think quickly about what to do.

——————————————————————

Tommy springs awake at the sound of frantic knocking on the door. Creeping up slowly to the door, pistol in his hand.

“Who is it?”

“I-it’s me…it’s Birdie” your voice meek and distraught, tone barely above a whisper.

Tommy quickly unlocks the door to find you on the other side, eyes bloodshot and and desperate. Your body langue is defeated as Tommy notices your backpack.

“C-can I come in?” You ask, a hoarseness to your voice. Your eyes trained on the ground.

“Birdie, what’s wrong? Everything alright?” His face etched with concern as he looks you over.

“ Is- is there any way to join the fireflies quickly. To- to be able to leave the QZ with you guys tonight?”

“You get Joel to join the fireflies?”

“No n-not Joel, for me..just me” you shake your head. Your voice shakes as you speak. Your head hung low, eyes glued to your feet.

“Look at me Birdie” Tommy says gingerly, cupping your chin with his thumb and index finger, gently lifting your head to meet his gaze.

“Did he hurt you? He didn’t hit you did he?” He asked in a firm but calm tone while turning your face side to side to check for visible marks.

Tommy didn’t believe Joel was capable of laying a hand on you like that but he needed to make sure. His brother had become more angry and violet over the years. Drinking more and pushing home made drugs to some of the fedra guards and he was starting not to recognize the man Joel was becoming.

You shook your head.

“Hurt me yes, hit me no. We’ve been hurting each other for to long and I just can’t handle it anymore. I- I can’t live like this anymore and the two if you are the only people I trust.”

“Does he know your leavin’?”

“If they will let me go I’ll go in slip a note I wrote under the door. If not i don’t know what I’ll do”

“Let’s go talk to them. I’m not sure what’s goin’ on between the two of you but I’m not leavin you here like this, but I’m also not going to press you about what’s goin’ on if you don’t want to talk about it”

“ I’ll talk about it eventually Tommy I just can’t talk about it right now much less think about it, I’m just in to much pain”

————————————————————

It’s nearly dusk when Joel wakes up, rolling over to wrap his arm around you.

“I don’t want to fight like that anymore baby girl” Joel says as he nuzzles into your neck, but his eyes snap open the moment he realizes somethings off, that you scent is different. That’s when realizes the grave mistake he made when he sees it’s Tess in your bed and not you.

“What the fuck is going on” Joel shouts while pushing himself out of bed.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Where’s Birdie?”

“You didn’t seem to be complaining a couple hours ago that she wasn’t here”

It’s in this moment as Joel feels the color drain from his face that he’s made a detrimental mistake. That he hadn’t been with you at all last night, that it wasn’t you when he’d finally said I love you.

Joel immediately starts putting his boots on to go looking for you. His motions panicked and scrambled.

“You heard me, I said get the fuck out and don’t come back”

As Joel slams the door he hears paper crinkle under his boot, he steps back to see a folded piece of paper with his name on it just inside the door. He unfolds it yo find a note from you.

Dear Joel,

I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for the pain and frustration I’ve caused you over the years. The way we’ve been living isn’t healthy for either of us and just can’t stomach it any longer. You don’t deserve to be worried about both of us constantly because I can’t handle life in the dystopian universe well. You said if anything were to ever happen to go to Tommy that he take care of me so rest easy knowing that right up until the end I listened to you. I’ve joined the fire flies with him and by the time you see this we will have left the QZ in search of a better living situation. Tommy will message you here and there on the radio. You and Sarah will always have a place on my heart.

Love,

Birdie

Anger and failure blend together in a unrelenting weight on Joel’s chest as he flips the kitchen table over, papers flying everywhere, glass breaking.

—————————————————————-

About 10 years later

Tommy is up on the scaffolding when he hears the unmistakable tone of his brothers voice

“Tooommmyyyy”

Tommy runs down the stairs as Joel’s jumps from the horse he’s on and the share in a tight embrace.

“The fuck you doin here?”

“I came to save you guys”

Tommy and Maria take Joel and Ellie into the mess hall for a meal. As Tommy’s taking his coat and gloves off he slips his ring into his pocket, not ready to tell Joel that the two of you are in love, that you’d gotten married. Not wanting to have the conversation in front of everyone. Emotions swirl around Tommy’s head, on one hand he’s happy to see his brother on the other hand fear and resentment in not knowing what kind of person his brother is these days.

“I trust the two of you would like some time alone, I’ll take Ellie up to the house to shower and set her up with clothes and then take her to the town movie night” Maria says

“It’s ok Ellie you can go with her, it’ll be alright”

“ Tommy a word in private before you do so?”

“Is Birdie going to be alright?”

“I think she’s going to be a bit shaken, she has therapy tonight and I know she’ll be home right now unwinding so she won’t just bump into him. Imma make sure she knows tonight that he’s here.”

—————————————————————

“It doesn’t look like you’ve aged much” Joel says taking a seat at the bar of the tipsy bison, nervously smoothing his hand over it.

“You on the other hand” Tommy offers.

“Is she here? Is Birdie alive?” Joel asks nervously

“Yes she’s here in Jackson”

“Where is she? I want to see her” Joel presses

“Now slow down Joel, ya can’t just waltz in here and demand to see her”

“ The fuck I can’t! You ain’t her keeper. I have the right to see her”

“I’m not her keeper nor am I trying to be, all I’m trying to say is she’s made a lot of progress since we’ve been here. Her health and well being has improved 10 fold thanks to therapy.”

“Therapy?”

“One of our residents here used to be a therapist before the outbreak so we built her a place to practice out of and birdie goes every week like she did before the outbreak”

“She went to therapy before? I didn’t know that”

“And I suppose you never asked either”

Tommy’s comment gets under Joel’s skin. Bringing up resentment that had be just below the surface.

“So what’s this have to do with you tellin’ me I can’t see Birdie?”

Tommy let’s out a frustrated huff at Joel’s pressing. He doesn’t want to argue with his brother, they havnt seen each other in so long the last thing he wants to do is get into a fight. But Tommy’s one and only goal is protecting you and he will be as harsh as he has to be to get Joel to understand, even if he doesn’t like the answers.

“Because Joel you just arrived with a mystery kid, she has no idea your even here. You just turning up at her door with no notice would have her shaken, set back her mental health. She deserves to atleast know your here. To make her own decision on wether or not she wants to see you”

“So what are you really doing out here Joel? What’s with the kid?”

“She needs to go to this firefly base out here so Marlene hired me to bring her out here. And I took the job so I could get out here and save you guys.”

“Why did you think we needed saving?”

“I don’t know Tommy maybe because the two of you guys stopped fucking messaging me back. Because Marlene said you weren’t with the fireflies anymore. It must be because your girl keeps you on a short leash.”

“Maria? It is because of a rule we put In place here but she ain’t my girl. We started having some rough people coming through because they found out about us from radio activity so we had to be more careful and only use it for emergency’s.”

“ Let me show you where you guys will be staying so you can rest, clean up and go to the town movie night if you’d like.”

—————————————————————

Tommy can’t help but smile about the way you look up from your book when he walks through the door, food from the mess hall in his hands.

“Hey baby” you coo, the smile on your face lighting up the room when you see him.

“Hey sweet girl, sorry I’m home a lil late. But I have your favorite, it was Shepards pie night at the mess hall.”

You get up to take the food containers from him, placing them on the counter as he wraps his arms around you.

“How did therapy go to today babe?” Tommy asks as he kisses your temple.

“It went good, just exhausted by it tonight”

After dinner your curled up on the couch with your head in his lap asking him about his day.

“Baby I need to tell you something” Tommy breaths out his voice hardly above a whisper.

“Ok… is everything ok?” You ask starring up at him.

“I’m afraid it’s probably going up upset you” Tommy says rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“What is it Tommy?” You ask as you sit up. Mind racing with what it could be.

“Joel’s here, in Jackson”

Taglist:

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@miniatureangelhoundsoul @nopenopenope10484 @harryscumcloth @morgaussy, @kalllistos @spikershoyo @musings-of-a-rose @alongfortheridereader

[tiredcowboyy]

Day 300 of being angry at kilgharrah bc that stupid mf dragon zoned in on arthurs life being so important and fragile and in merlins hands alone that merlin lost any sense of importance for anything else. If the dragon even MUTTERED about having to find a balance of supporting arthur and magic and making sure to prioritise helping both then we wouldnt be in this situation but HERE WE ARE. Like never once did he say “btw, if you dont also make good decisions for magic and positive progression for it, arthur will prob still die” nooo all he kept saying was “merlin make sure arthur lives!!! Merlin you gotta make sure arthur becomes the great king hes destined to, im not gonna tell you how or why or literally anything else just make sure your entire life surrounds around him surviving.”

And then obviously merlin along the way grew closer to arthur and realised “fuck hes a great guy, I see what the dragon means, yeah destiny aside I wanna protect him w my life, forget everything else especially since the dragon didnt mention ANYTHING ELSE EVER is remotely important! Im sure pushing magic aside will work out just fine!”

And dont even get me started on him saying to merlin “well no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny.” After saying soooooooooooooooo much over time.

Anyways by any chance does anyone know how I go back in time and fight a fictional dragon?

[ay-chuu]

As a Boyfriend: Jade Leech

Warnings: Tooth roothinf fluff,cringe and lol first time writing for a character that im not so close... BUT for my dear; @fukashiin <3

Jade is the most advanced person in terms of emotional intelligence between Floyd, himself and Azul! He just doesn't show it, or makes people hard to guess it with his slightly sadistic traits. But he is neither open to everything like Floyd and lives according to the moment or doesn’t get hysterical like Azul and make things get out of control. He analyzes everything and approaches the person with the most point shots in an emotional sense. Just like when he managed to impress you (;

He considers himself a loser in many things, and he didn't realize it until he met you... he thought he was incompetent in most things because he set himself back from everyone, but after he becoma lovers with you, he realized that this was an idea that could only be overcome. And this is actually also when he falls in love with you. Because he has always known that someone who can make him believe unexpected thoughts is his soulmate.

A romantic gentleman. Everything he does in the position of butler is a factor that is not a role for you. Are you tired? Your favorite drink is already ready. Are you sad? Why don't you lie down on that couch over there and tell him everything? Problems with the lesson? Here are the most profound books on this topic.

You're a new member of Mountain Lover Club! At first you thought you'd be so bored... (no, you definitely didn't join that club to impress Jade...) But taking mountain trips and determining the types of mushrooms from the book turned out to be more fun than you expected! First of all, there is no phone, it's a great Decoupling from the digital environment.... Secondly, you are drunk with nature, and at the end of every walk you become full of love and mushrooms. Finally and most importantly, you taste Jade in the most authentic way... when you two are alone together, he shows you his incredibly true self and always makes you feel soft inside.

One of the things that upsets Jade the most is the sadness of his loved ones. Floyd and you are at the top of this list. If someone has upset you... God bless them. I don't think he'll let them go without leaving a serious trauma. Even if this person is your family, he scares them in some way and makes them respect him. Because Jade is always an influential person. But if any event has upset you, what he will do is solve the incident as soon as possible as efficiently as possible, because he would rather drown the world than see you upset.

He's quite jealous. But he usually shows it to the person he's jealous of by making life a little hell because he doesn't want you to understand that he's jealous…

Swimming in the sea with you with the eel form, is his favorite. You're playing with each other, laughing like there's no tomorrow, and just.... You're together.... As you lean your foreheads against each other, the reflection of the setting sun on your face is an incredible happiness for both of you.

It may seem like he's the dominant person in the relationship, but actually you're the secret boss! He's just being angry at you and leading you so that you can be happy. (He's a complete malewife... When you get married, you get a 10/10 service in your home. He is a devoted husband! devoted to his spouse, *insert proud face with mop!*)

To be lovers together with Jade is to be able to say that you also have a close relationship with Floyd! You three are a chaotic group, and there are no people who can understand or put it in a sentence to describe the craziness you are doing. And that's why Jade loves you so much. Just as you can have peaceful moments when you two are together, all the calm disappears in an instant when you put your twin Decoupled! (Floyd is very happy thst you two are dating and even jealous that Jade is dating you... But that's another day's topic!)

All in all, Jade is both a gentle lover who has all the qualities you can look for and want, and a wonderful partner who can give you the most crazy and adventurous moments.

[armandposting]

that moment for daniel is also why (other than the fact that armand doesnt see his abuse this way and isn't really ready/doesn't want someone to do this for him) Daniel revenge fantasies don't really work for me except as the occasional AU treat for me personally. when IM feeling fragile about armand and want to read about this it's cathartic. but if I'm thinking from armands perspective it makes no sense unless a lot of time and character development has elapsed. and something I struggle with when writing armand is that I don't know if he'll ever really want to see marius in a negative way and I kind of think that's fine? I think it would be healthy if he stopped seeing marius and also if lestat made an effort to not idolize him all the time but I don't think armand necessarily needs or would be inclined to see him negatively in order to move on (at least, not until/if the benji and sybelle stuff happens). and I certainly don't think he has any reason to trust Daniel to facilitate that for him. this is all kind of why I landed the way I did on "I am a man." That fic is about armand explaining his amadeo period to Daniel (a Daniel who is several years and a stable relationship removed from s2, work I wasn't interested in doing on page in that particular fic) but never in that fic is armand like "oh yeah I've decided fuck marius now." he's like no actually these were, to me, the best and safest years of my life, and I cannot throw away marius's position in my mind without throwing all of that away too.

i really do love exploring armand being angry at marius and I think he dessrves to be if he wants, but I think it needs to be pretty hard-earned and rest on an overall development of a sense of self strong enough to a) recognize in the first place that marius's conception of armand as his own person has always been shaky and b) recognize that he doesn't deserve that. but its also understandable to me that he could recognize these things and still be I'm a space where marius did ultimately give him the best years of his early life by comparison. and I don't think daniel is really the best outlet for that in any event when, if Daniel does tear marius down, it'll be because daniel just enjoys tearing garbage men and hypocrites down for his own sake.

[klxudykai]

Hey, I'm the shifter who sent that ask, and I wanted to clear some things up. I will try my best to write well:

Meditate for 5 minutes a day. This can be really helpful for people who have trouble with overthinking.

Get off Shifttok. I know it's hard, but just get off if you truly want to shift.

Also, the reason I would recommend getting off is because there's a lot of close-minded people saying things like "it's just lucid dreaming" or "it's basically just dreaming." But it's your DR, so do whatever you want. And lucid dreaming and shifting are not the same thing. If you're lucid dreaming, you will know you're dreaming, but when you shift, you may not even notice at first. It took me 1-2 hours to realize I had shifted. It feels that real.

If you're still saying it's lucid dreaming, then tell me how I took a fat shit in a dream. Make it make sense. It's like saying the reality you're in right now is just a lucid dream.

Stop expecting everything to be perfect. Allow yourself to be sad or angry; that's okay, you're human. When you feel better, then you can go back to affirming or whatever.

The final thing I want to say is that this is real. Shifting is real, your DR self is real. It's not a joke. It's about to be 2025, so please get it through your head that shifting is real. Your DR self is probably there dancing, kissing your S/O, while you're here whining.

mwah happy shifting!!

it took me so long to get back to this (haven't been feeling the best, apologies)

but yes meditating and avoiding places with misinformation (shifttok for that example) is a great way to develop a clear conscious and get rid of any negative feelings you may have regarding shifting ^^

allowing your feelings to flow through rather than suppressing them is also a good thing to do because when you hide your emotions and force yourself to stay "positive" all it does is make those negative emotions bigger (it also taps into the whole shifttok bs of toxic positivity)

thanks so much for saying all this anon, im sure a lot of people needed to hear it, especially me <33

[akalikai]

also im about to be real honest here, i completely understand why sam is annoyed/angry.

firstly, if im interpreting this correctly, sam and alice seem to have had issues about alice being controlling in the past, possibly when they were still dating. i'm willing to kind of skim over that because i don't know the details, however i can see that being a reason why they broke up, alice kept hiding things and being a bit controlling for sam's sake, but sam doesn't need that and he doesn't like having someone influence his choices.

let me also preface with: as a control freak i also see why alice comes off a bit controlling. its not out of malice its just that she thinks she can keep everyone safe if they just listen to her. telling sam to ignore all the institute stuff just constantly shooting him down on that is just her way of protecting him because it worked for her. the problem is, they're two different people. alice just doesn't have that same need to know that sam does, which is why sam just isn't able to leave it alone and having alice constantly shut him down hurts.

and i guess thats probably also the difference in dynamic between sam and celia vs sam and alice i think? just with the way they talk to sam, it seems like alice wants sam to agree with her, while celia wants sam to express his own feelings (also just to clarify this is not me saying I dislike alice. she's a character with flaws, and that's good. i can still love her but also see her flaws and talk about them and how it affects herself and her relationships).

additionally, alice has a very strong personality and can sometimes come off a bit pushy and as much as i understand that is her character and a lot of her self-defense mechanism, sam has no context of the dangers. alice and the audience do. so to sam, it would have just felt like she's just unnecessarily beating down on him before alice revealed that she didn't actually think sam was losing it and that he was actually onto something.

the deleting files tho is a huge thing for me personally though i HATE it when people do things behind my back even if its for my own good.

i know she really is just trying to protect him but at the same time, if i were in sam's position, i would be a bit annoyed too. this entire time, she's been making fun of him, telling him off, basically doing whatever she can to make him believe that there is nothing to the magnus institute. and now, shes telling him after all of that, he was actually right about something but she STILL wont tell him everything?

she wants to protect him but she's also so far in denial thinking that if he doesn't know anything he will be safe. and sam and i are similar in the sense that we feel like we NEED to know everything so i feel like i understand his overall frustration

again, this is not any hatred or dislike towards alice, I love her. this is just me noticing a particular character flaw of hers and seeing how it affects her relationship with others and herself.

[ghostphobic]

 ╼ born to die

abby anderson x reader

cw - heavy angst , talks of death , actual death / implications of suicide , implications of anxiety , mention of hyperventilating , not a happy ending in the slightest.

a/n - got hit with another wave of inspiration. most of my writing is heavily influenced by songs im listening to. my favorite type of fics to read are angst with a happy ending, but i’ve always liked writing angst with no happy ending. i’ve just never ventured this far into it, so it’s a little bit experimental on my part. enjoy ! 

(disclaimer) : this has not been proofread 

You were an optimist. Well, as optimistic as one could be living in a world where infection and death lurked at every corner. 

Abby was a pessimist. She looked at things realistically and logically, but negatively. 

The two of you were different, but the balance worked well. She kept you in check, and you kept her in check. Rarely did it ever cause one of you to upset the other, but there was one night when your optimistic outlook struck a nerve in Abby. 

"Sometimes I feel like dying wouldn't be so bad." You had said one night while the two of you were lying next to each other. Her hand, that had been aimlessly playing with your hair, halted its movements. You feel her lean up and then her face comes into view. 

"Where the fuck did that come from?" She asked. Her tone sounded... annoyed? Maybe a little bit angry? You couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly, you just knew she wasn't happy. 

"It's nothing, Abs. I was just thinking out loud. I didn't even really mean to say it." 

"No, no." She said, leaning up further to create more distance between the two of you. "It came from somewhere. I want to know what you mean." 

You decided to sit up, realizing this conversation had taken a more serious turn. "I guess I just... God, Abby. I don't know. I wouldn't even know how to describe it. It was just a thought. That's all. 

"Do you feel like you don't have anything to live for?" She asked.

You could tell where she was going with this, and you were quick to try to repair it. "No. Not at all. I have plenty to live for. I have you, and that alone is enough." You sigh, trying to figure out how to word this so you don't hurt or scare her any further. "Me thinking that is just my own way of coping. We face death every day, so if and when my moment comes, I don't want to feel scared. That's all it is. It's just my way of thinking positively, even if it sounds dark. Even if it doesn't make sense." 

She still seems uneasy, so you reach for her and guide her to lay her head on your chest. "I have no plans to leave you, nor do I want to. I love you more than I can put into words. You will have me as long as I'm alive, and you'll have me long after that if I have anything to say about it. It's you and me, Abs. Always." 

Abby had gotten over it quickly, having not thought about it in the several weeks after. But she's thinking about it now. It's playing over and over again in her head, as her eyes flit from your face to the bite mark on your shoulder. It had happened so quickly. Regular patrol had the two of you venturing into a seemingly harmless abandoned building, and briefly separating. You had screamed, Abby had ran towards the noise and shot the infected on top of you. It all happened in the span of, maybe, 10 minutes. All it took was 10 minutes for her worst nightmare to come true. 

"No." She says. "You're fine. You're fine, and we're going to leave here and everything is going to be okay." 

It's irrational and desperate. She knows it. You know it. 

"Abby we're not going anywhere." You say. Your voice is calm and steady, because you're also thinking about that conversation. You realize you feel exactly the way you want to feel. You feel calm. You feel a sense of peace. You also feel a sense of overwhelming sadness, but you're not scared. 

"This can't be happening." 

"Say goodbye to me, Abby." 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She says. Her tone is angry, but you don't miss the way her eyes shine from unshed tears. "You're just gonna give up? You're telling me this is it?" 

"I love you. I'm asking you to make this easy on the both of us." 

She lets out a sharp exhale of breath and presses her hands to her knees in an attempt to calm herself down. You know you have to initiate the goodbye, so you tilt your head up towards the sky and let a few tears slip out. 

"Loving you has been a privilege." You say. "It's been the only thing that's kept me going, and I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world. Say goodbye and leave me. If it were you, you'd be telling me to do the same thing." 

She looks at you, takes a deep breath, then steps towards you. Her hand comes up to you cheek, and you feel how much she's shaking. She presses a kiss to the top of your hairline. "You will never know how much I love you. It's me and you." She says, echoing the words you had said to her in that previous conversation. "Always." 

She steps away from you, making her way out of the abandoned building with her fists clenched tight. 

Once she's out she leans against the building, and harsh breathing turns into hyperventilating. She can't leave you. She won't leave you. She'll stay until she knows you've done it, because she can't leave you alone while you do this. Even if you don't know that she's just outside. 

She's not sure how long it is before she hears it. The gunshot. Her ears ring. Her body goes numb. Bile rises in her throat. She can't move. 

She stays there until morning turns to afternoon, until afternoon turns to night, then until a few of the others come find her. 

She can't speak, the only thing she can think about is you. How much she loved you. How much she misses you. How you took a piece of her with you, and how she'll never get it back.

[scarymonsters-andsupercreeps]

So… could we get some Mr. Crowley lore…. (IM STARVED) 🙏

Of course! I’m so happy someone is curious about him! I’m not 100% certain how his story is going to go just yet, so I’ll put a few ideas as well as some traits (below the cut because it’s a lot of rambling!)

I did a couple of doodles! The first one is of course how he looks hatless, and the second one is him using his stand to track someone.

If you haven’t read the stand explanation in his debut post, basically his closed eye is useless except to track someone who’s been hit by [Snakebite]. The venom shows up to him like a heat signature and he can track the victim down as it takes effect.

(I do recommend reading the debut post, everything below this point won’t make sense otherwise…sorry 😭)

He’s a sharpshooter, and you may be thinking it’s harder for him to shoot with only one functional eye. That’s actually not the case! Competitive target shooters actually place what’s called a blinder on their gun. It covers the eye they’re not using when they look down their sights. That way, they don’t have to close one eye for a long time. Mr. Crowley usually wears his eyepatch, and he did even before he got his stand.

His coat is also functional as a shooting jacket. The straps on his arms can be tightened or moved to basically immobilize his arms in the right position to hold his gun, meaning he doesn’t exert himself as much. This can also help with aim.

As a bounty hunter, he usually prefers if his targets never even realize he was there. He will pick them off from a distance with his rifle. For close quarters he uses a double barrel shotgun, and for hand-to-hand he has a machete or other knife. He likes his marks to be quick and painless, thus he rarely has to use his stand. But sometimes the target will have other ideas.

In terms of personality, he’s definitely more reserved than his brother Mrs. Robinson. He is a deeply angry person, and usually doesn’t talk much. If he’s upset he’ll stop talking altogether. He takes his job seriously, but has a strong moral code otherwise. No bystanders will be harmed, especially not children.

He was a very caring and gentle older brother when Mrs. Robinson was born. To this day Mr. Crowley has a soft spot for children and babies. If he can help it, he will make sure they don’t have to see him kill someone. He saw death at a young age and will not inflict it on someone else. Because of this he also won’t accept a contract if his target is a parent.

I think him being a touch hypocritical is important to his character. It’s good basis for him to have a big revelation. He still has a little bit of a heart left despite being hardened.

I want him to start out working under Valentine, but later encounter something that makes him change his mind. Kind of like Diego. I think maybe Valentine sends him after Lucy, and since she’s a kid, Mr. Crowley instead helps her to safety and likely dies protecting her.

I don’t know! I’m still working it out. This could all change, but I think at least the bones of it is right. I want him to betray Valentine, that’s for certain.

I haven’t decided if he ever meets anyone from the main cast, or if he’s able to save his brother. Mrs. Robinson wouldn’t even know him due to their age gap and circumstances, so Mr. Crowley would probably just keep his distance instead of complicating things. It has been in his best interest his whole life to leave him alone. He might decide to speak to Mrs. Robinson without revealing his identity, just to see him again.

I think he will spend most of the race showing up just enough not to be disqualified. Valentine wants him to keep a close eye on the racers, but he doesn’t need him winning. Mr. Crowley will probably keep his distance most of the time to most effectively watch any racers Valentine tells him to.

Speaking of the race, I should talk about his horse. His horse is a mare, named Ligea.

(I couldn’t resist a goth music name here since his other music references aren’t goth despite the fact that he is)

Mr. Crowley and Ligea are good friends and a good team. Ligea has been trained to allow Mr. Crowley to fire while mounted or use her saddle as a gun rest. She is also trained to bite anyone but him who tries to touch or mount her.

I haven’t designed her just yet, but I will soon!

I think this is all I’ve got for now! If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I’m so so happy people care about my weird ocs and listening to me talk about them!

If you want more I can make a shorter list of simple fun facts 😭 I’m sorry about how long this is, I wasn’t expecting to talk this much!

🖤💚

[rei-does-stuff]

Little…Well LONG thing about Bamsaegi and co

—

So they all managed to get out of the gas chamber and escape underground. They find a hidden mineshaft that was left behind from the wolves and recover there, they think everything is finally okay but the worst happens as the mineshaft collapses on itself and they’re trapped once again. They’re not dying but they’re completely stuck.

They all try to make the best of the situation, stay positive yknow? But that can only go so far and eventually everyone is hungry tired and fed up with everything, Bamsaegi especially.

They’ve been trapped for a few weeks and Undochi keeps trying to tell everyone that Flower Hill is coming for them, that they still need to keep hope for Flower Hill so they can continue serving and Bamsaegi fucking snaps.

“WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR WEEKS! There’s not coming! They’re never coming! They probably already have a funeral ready for us and are parading us around as Martyrs just like your brother, just like Mulori, just like everyone else! Are you really this delusional?? We are gonna die in here!”

Undochi still having that Flower Hill propaganda deep inside him, gets angry esp since Bam brought up his brother.

“Well SORRY for trying to be positive! It’s not my fault you believe a random note you thought your brother sent! How’s that going for you? You’re so naive, don’t forget we’re in this mess because you stupidly thought everything was over! It’s no wonder Geum likes me more than you. He’s probably not even looking for you anymore, is he?!” And it eventually turns into an actual fight as Murori desperately tries to keep them both from murdering each other

He has to talk a lot of sense into them once he gets them off of each other. “Are you two crazy?? The more you fight the more likely this place will collapse on top of us, you two might be fine being buried alive but I’m not! We’re all tired, maybe they won’t find us, but killing each other just makes so if they do find us they’ll only be dragging out corpses! Put your anger towards finding a way out of here!”

They eventually dig a little into the mineshaft, but the tunnels lead to no where, they do find a lot of hidden information about the wolves, weasels and especially flower hill since it seems like the mineshaft was there to store physical files of information when they switched over to being completely digitally

And finding out the horrors of your homeland probably won’t end well for them

Undochi is trying so hard to cope. “Noo guys im sure we had a good reason! We aren’t monsters! R-Right…?”

“No Undochi I don’t think any amount of ANYTHING deserves stuff like this…Was my brother really doing this kinda stuff to the enemy?”

“It’s fake! It HAS to be fake!”

“It too real to be fake…We did all this, and more. Your brothers…My sister…Oh I’m gonna be sick…”

They eventually get out, they’re close to Flower Hill but after seeing what they’ve seen they don’t consider it their homes anymore, especially since they get to spy on their own funerals! Fun right?

They all think “Screw this place, if they think we’re dead then we don’t have to serve anymore, we can do whatever we want! This isn’t our home anymore!”

But the only thing really stopping this is Bamsaegi, he wants his parents, both of them. He thinks he can save them! Jul is still in the hospital so they do the very sane and normal thing of breaking into the hospital and kidnapping him whilst trying not to be spotted

Jul is obviously VERY fucking confused because moments ago he was grieving his son being dead and here he is, alive trying to kidnap you!

Bamsaegi is really emotional whilst trying to explain WHY he’s doing this and how Flower Hill is bad and everything and Jul is like “Look Bam, I care more about the people IN flower hill than Flower Hill itself…If you don’t wanna be here I can’t force you.”

Unfortunately it isn’t up to Jul.

They still have to find Geum, and he…He isn’t gonna be very nice about it, not nice at all

They managed to find Geum, it takes a lot of planning esp since Geum is still undercover but they manage to knock him out and drag him out of the Wolves Den

When he awakes he’s at first confused and disoriented esp since Bam is alive, but when he finally adjusts and realizes what’s going on he isn’t happy in the slightest

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! DID THE GAS CHAMBER MAKE YOU LOSE BRAINCELLS?? Do you realized what you’ve done?! You already made us go back to fighting and now you’re trying to pull me away and let everyone in Flower Hill die and for what?!? Because you’re upset about a few things we HAD to do?!?!”

Bamsaegi tries desperately to explain whilst is screaming at him, Jul is trying to calm him down but to avail.

“You don’t understand! This isn’t right! Flower Hill is just as bad as the others! This war is meaningless and it’ll never end! You’ve thrown half of your life away just because Flower Hill convinced you that it was your fault that you trusted Uncle Bear! It’s the conmanders who are trying to trick you into staying Dad! They’re using you! We don’t have to deal with it! We can just stay here and be happy like before!”

Geum, however, isn’t convinced. Straight up slapping Bamsaegi. He isn’t yelling, but his tone makes himself very clear that it isn’t up for debate.

“I am your guardian, I have been for years therefore you can’t do anything without my permission. And I refuse to give you permission to do something this traitorous. Your friends can do what they want, Jul…You can support them if you wish. But I will not let you betray Flower Hill. You are a stupid, naive child who doesn’t know anything about the real world. I was wrong to think you were ready to be a scout, I’ll be sure they train you better. We are going home, and I will go back to defend OUR hill like we’re supposed to. This isn’t a battle you can win.”

True to his word Geum does exactly that, much to Undochi, Murori and Jul’s dismay. The two kids try to stop him but Geum is a lot stronger than the two of them, so they have to wait before trying anything.

Jul isn’t happy, he tells Geum as much.

“You’re angry at me?”

“Extremely.”

“Look…I-I didn’t wanna do it either, but he can’t be thinking these kinds of things.”

“He’s already afraid of you Geum…You’re just giving more of a reason to be scared.”

“I know…But what else am I supposed to do? Let him run off to get killed by some weasel and not be able to fight back? If he stays here’s he’s safe, if he fights for Flower Hill he’ll have backup. If he’s out there? Nothing.”

“Hitting him doesn’t show that, even you know that…He should be able to make his own decisions even if you don’t approve. If he’s old enough to die for Our Hill he’s old enough to make that choice.”

“But that choice will lead to him dying!”

“So does fighting for Flower Hill! Geum he isn’t like you…Or he isn’t like you now…He had a point you know? I can tell…You still blame yourself for what happened with Uncle Bear…”

“…I can’t let him make the same mistake I did. He stays here.”

“Just…Really think about it Geum. Don’t push it away…I already lost Mulori, I don’t wanna lose you too.”

It’s a lot for Geum to think about

Undochi and Murori have already started planning to kidnap Bam back, sneaking in occasionally beforehand to talk with him.

They’re both pissed, Undochi especially!

Meanwhile Geum is maybe having an existential crisis about the whole “oh shit maybe I HAVE been brainwashed!” As the whole kidnapping Bamsaegi thing is happening which is great for Bam and co. Jul may or may not be helping them <4

Morning comes, Geum sees Bam isn’t there. “Did he run away?”

“Are you gonna look for him, you’re supposed to go back undercover today.”

“No. I have to…Talk with the commander first…”

Geum needs to see if the commanders are really…Well good for Flower Hill. Good to serve.

They greet him with open arms, he is there most loyal soldier after all. But Geum is there with one simple question.

“When I found out we couldn’t rely on Uncle Bear…We were able to drive the weasels out pretty quickly. Were we always that strong?”

“Of course! We didn’t need Uncle Bear, Flower Hill must be self reliant!”

“So then…Why did you let them attack? It was clear they were gonna do something…Why did you wait till Uncle Bear was already on the blackout drunk on the floor?”

“Well, how else would you learn? If you didn’t see the truth of the situation you would’ve just relied on Uncle Bear forever!”

“Learn….?”

“We had to teach you a lesson somehow! It worked, didn’t it? You know better now?”

“…Yes. I do.”

The commanders try to send Geum back undercover, he pretends to agree. But he isn’t going back. No, he serves his home, and Flower Hill clearly isn’t his home anymore. No, instead he goes to find Bamsaegi. He has a lot…a LOT of apologizing to do after all <3

Now realistically it would probably take a bit more to convince Geum but shhhhhh its fine <333

Yea just a think ive been having brainrot abt <33

[melancholicbutterflies]

Siren

Summary: You’re a siren washed up on the beach. Elvis and his mafia discover you, and Elvis suddenly becomes very protective. 

Warnings: none - wholesome as shit lil’ drabble. protective!elvis incoming!

A/N: well this one came out of left field. LOL. i suddenly felt compelled to write this weird, supernatural-y fluff piece that was completely self-indulgent. with that said i hope yall like it anyway!

The taller of the male humans approach you with caution. Alarmed, you inch backward, an effort that is in vain; unused to being on land, you cannot maneuver your body in the way that you want, the sand creating a divot from your tail’s efforts to retreat, effectively trapping you in place. 

“Don’t worry, hunny, I ain’t gon’ hurtcha,” he male coos, a deep low murmur that sounds soothing to your ears, although its language remains foreign to you. 

You tilt your head in confusion, stilling, although you remain alert. Something about this human has your defenses lowered somewhat despite all you’d heard about his species. The males, especially, were prone to violence, killing even. His presence seems conflicting with such an image. Besides, you admitted you were hardly in a position to turn down help: the longer you stayed on land, the more harmful it would be to your health. 

“Good girl,” he said, his beautiful blue eyes alight with marvel as he reached toward you with open hands. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Watching your expression remain unchanged, he laughed. “And you have no idea what I’m saying, do you?” 

You recognized the words as a question only, and shook your head, earning a pleasant hum in return. He nodded toward the waves a few feet away. “You need help gettin’ back in the water, don’t you?” You nodded vigorously, hair shaking, for once understanding his meaning. 

“I can help ya, but I gotta get your permission to lift ya in my arms.” He flashed his hands palm facing you, motioning toward your body and then the water. You understood, although weren’t too pleased about how it would have to happen. You supposed you didn’t have a choice. 

“Only if you’ll let me,” he reiterated it was your decision to make. 

Sighing, you nodded, and just as he bent to pick you up by your waist, the other hand reaching toward the dip where your tail naturally bent, an approaching figure startled you, causing you to cry out and evade his touch. 

The human male by your side turned angry, yelling something at his companion who stood dumbfounded. 

“Whaddaya think you’re doin’, scarin’ her like that, Red? Jesus, ain’t ya got any sense in that thick skull o’ yours? She’s clearly already scared and confused. And just when I was gettin’ her to trust me.” 

Seeing him angry scared you further, and his temper calmed some, like a balloon deflating. “Aw, hell, doll, didn’t mean to scare you even more. That mean old man ain’t gonna hurt you, I promise. I wouldn’t let ‘im.” 

The stranger snorted, walking off. He seemed to be goading your savior now, but he paid them no mind. 

Satisfied with the distance, some tension left your prone body. The human smiled, pleased. “All right, let’s try this again. One, two, three-!” He picked you up in one fell swoop, your heart pounding; you’d never experienced this feeling before, this feeling of weightlessness. You felt suddenly inclined to look up and you caught eyes with the human who smiled endearingly back at you. 

“Just when I thought you couldn't get any prettier,” he said, and his gaze dipped a little lower to your heaving chest, and your little tummy where a slight roll rested below your bellybutton. Balancing you, his hand came up to briefly run through your hair, petting you like you would the dolphins and seals when you were in the water. “Just gorgeous.” 

His companions yelled something at him, and he startled, remembering his duty. “Right, let’s get you back in the water. Poor thing, you’re already dryin’ up out on land.” He tutted, resituating you in his arms and taking fast, long strides towards the ocean. 

The sun was starting to set, and it made your water shimmer. Every atom in your body was charged, anticipating the feeling of being submerged once more. 

“Gonna set you down, nice n’ easy.” You were a few centimeters from splashing in the shallow end when he suddenly drew back. You swung your head to him, concerned. Had he changed his mind? “I-I just wanted to say this since I’ll probably never see you again,” and he looked suddenly very sad. “I know you don’t understand m-me,” his laugh was less joyous sounding and more teasing, as if of himself. “I just feel since this is of the heart some part o’ you should get my meaning. Well, I just really liked being around you, even if it was only for a minute. You made me feel things I ain’t ever felt with no other woman before. And n-not just cause you’re technically not a woman, but, hell, you get what I mean.” 

Your eyes had water building up in them, and you weren’t sure why or what it meant, but with every utterance from this human’s lips it grew stronger. “Aw, don’t cry, darlin’.” 

“Maybe... maybe there’s a chance, one day, we’ll see each other again.”

You lifted your hand, to which he watched in awe, and you placed it on his bare chest right where his heart lay. You said something in your language. 

Someday, you’d said back; you understood not a single word of his proclamation, but you felt certain of the longing in his eyes. He’d wished to see you, and you wished for it, too.