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#IM JUST HAVING A HARD TIME TO PROCESS EVERYTHING RN
likesaly · 9 months
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I JUST FINISHED ONE OF US IS NEXT.
spoilers in the tags
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angelstrawbabie420 · 7 days
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grief will have you saying shit like goddamn and fuck maybe the abuse was worth it
#ive made this post before i just cant find it and it’s all im feeling rn#god i miss my parents so fucking much even though they were the cause of SO MANY of my problems that idk if i’ll ever heal from#but navigating life w this grief and without their support- however little it was- feels like hell#but the abuse felt like hell too.#ive said it before but i was JUST getting to a place where i felt i could stand up for myself and knock down thwir shit a few pegs. or at#least become more resistant to it#i saw a future with them in it for the first time in my LIFE#and it was bc i’d done SO MUCH FUCKING WORK. and now i feel like it was all so fucking useless#it’d be easier if i was still in the phase of anger i was at like 19#but i’d processed that quite a bit and was trying to move on#FUCK. i had made SO much goddamn progress right before my mom got sick#then everything went down the toilet cus i cannot fucking have anything#it’s so unfair. i wish i could at least redo the last 3 years of my life#i would’ve done things so much different but i was so traumatized and still so angry and bitter and trying to preserve myself#ive come to the realization tjat the person i am today did not exist back then and therefore i shouldnt beat myself up bc it literally wasnt#available to me. i couldnt have done anythimg different bc i was in such a state of survival#and truthfully ive grown a lot since then even if im still in the trenches#the timeline of my entire life has been so fucking unfair#and i dont know how to reconcile any of it i dont know how to cope with my worst fears coming true#and i mean worst fears. even the way they passed. spot on to my worst fears#i despised what they did to me but i still didnt see life without them until i was at least 30#it was all so sudden and quick and shocking#yeah they were horrible parents but i was a horrible kid too. maybe i straight up just deserved that shit#and i’d go back to that and seeing a future with them in an instant#over this bullshit#it’s so hard. and then losing all my pets too at the SAME TIME. all my babies#everything that i loved ripped away from me in the span of MONTHS#it’s all too much. l oh fucking l. no wonder im 3 shots deep at fucking 3 pm#it just hurts so bad. so fucking bad.
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<
#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together#i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week#all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds#also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn#ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself#but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates#gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard#but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh#and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism#like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since#n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on#its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it#and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions#+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf#so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead#its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths#just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea#but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke#so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close#ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual#happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all#and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves#like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me#and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway#doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3#but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately#but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that#.diaries#okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo
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parallaxabomination · 5 months
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my brain is so full of stress it might explode. but ill do my best to keep putting out my best and stay kind to myself and others. but man, is it hard
#i wish i had something for myself rn#but i come home so exhausted i cant even focus on art#everything has been burning me so thin#i keep talking down my own art now. i keep refunding clients. i honestly want to give up on everything#people tell me i do a good job but i dont see it. i dont see an artist whos worth anything right now.#i dont know if thats a phrase#i have a early morning shift tomorrow and i cant fall asleep#i want to just rest but im so restless#i dont want to put pressure on anyone besides myself bc i feel like a huge burden#if i do so#everyone else should be having a good time#so i feel like a bummer to take up their emotional space and time#i appreciate the kindness people have shown me recently#i know i work hard. but im still so broken over everything#i just havent felt like an artist since it happend#he left a bigger scar on my ego than i thought it would#and every time i voice it i feel someone is out to end me for it#but at the same time i feel completely unnoticed and unheard#i dont expect anyone to see me as me#i just feel this lump in my throat now. this weight on my hand#they say kind things but im so hurt inside i dont see it as truth right now. i dont see anything worth admiring#they say such sweet things and i want to accept them so bad because my heart needs it#but i cant help but feel the words die as they reach my ears. im just too hurt i cant see it#i cant see the truth in my work all i see is someone else's desire in their commission#as long as they are happy. as long as they are satisfied#thats all that matters#i dont feel important enough to be apart of the process anymore#i dont feel worthy as a person or artist#i just feel less than nothing and that no one will care
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lousiee · 11 months
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still sick, losing hair on my head and face
the antibiotics worked 2 a degree but now they just stopped
0 notes
love-belle · 1 year
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i'll be loving you for quite some time !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them pretending as if they aren't back together and having just a little bit fun with everyone.
or
for when you know it'll be them till the end. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // lando norris x fem!reader
prequel - i bet you think about me ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - hiiii!!!! so sorry for being inactive i have midterms :/// posting rn bc i js couldn't wait!!!! i hope u like this <3 i love u thank u so much for reading <3
tagged @marsdreamworld @luvrrish @ccallistata @eviethetheatrefreak @f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername seeing him tonight it's a bad idea right
6,728 comments
username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS
username MOTHER????? HELLO??????
username ahahahahahahahaha hey there!!!!!!
username she's actually so ❤️
username HELLO THE CAPTION WHAT
-> yourusername i js love my daughter oliviarodrigo
-> oliviarodrigo mom 🫶🏼
username the absolute lack of petty posts we've had from lando and y/n..........
-> username no bc WHAT ARE THEY COOKING 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
username pls get back with lando and put me out of my misery 🙏
username what the fuck is going on
username THE CAPTION??? Y/N WHAT.
username no bc i need them BACK together like asap 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
danielricciardo very bad idea
-> yourusername he's annoying
-> danielricciardo very true
username DANIEL SPILL 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
username ahahahahahahahaha!!!!! what.
username js one chance i will never shade u like lando did
username no bc i need them back together before valentine's bc i CANNOT miss on their posts for each like
-> username "here's to my forever valentine, ur annoying and i'm in love ❤️" IM CRYING
-> username istg i will never get over them ://
username FUCK IT IT'S FINE
*liked by yourusername*
charles_leclerc again, listen to me and don't go
-> alexandrasaintmleux shut up
-> yourusername fr
-> charles_leclerc WHY AM I BEING BULLIED
username all the grid is plotting against lando and im here for every second of it
username may god bless the dinosaur that died in order to create the fossil that was processed to fuel that took the car to bring her mom to the hospital to give birth to her
-> yourusername wow
username if she's seeing lando i will SCREAM
username all jokes aside, if they really REALLY broke up then i hope that everyone leaves them alone bc imagine everyone bringing ur ex (the one whom u dated for such a long time) into everything like if i were her that would RUIN me
-> username fr like i love them both but if they really broke up then i hope people leave them alone
username mother is mothering so hard
maxverstappen1 do you not remember what happened the last time?
-> yourusername it wasn't that bad
-> danielricciardo yes it was
-> charles_leclerc yes it was
-> kellypiquet yes it was
-> carlossainz55 yes it was
-> pierregasly yes it was
-> lewishamilton yes it was
-> lilymhe yes it was
-> carmenmmundt yes it was
-> heidiberger_ yes it was
-> yourusername oh my god
-> username LMFAOAOOAOA
-> username bruh the CROWD here rn
username earth is weirdly off it's axis since ur break up pls get back with dad ❤️
username no bc lando better be on all fours if he wants her back like nothing less is VALID
username HER.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 796,426 others
landonorris feels like a taylor swift song
8,728 comments
username LANDO NORRIS WHO IS THAT.
username TOO MUCH TO DISSECT THE LYRICS THE PHOTOS
username THAT'S GOT TO BE Y/N I WILL CRY IF THAT'S NOT HER
username if that's not y/n i will burn down mclaren
-> mclaren fix yourself landonorris
-> landonorris STOP PUTTING ME ON THE SPOT
-> username admin is done with his shit
username yo wtfff
username babe wake up new y/n and lando lore js dropped ❤️
danielricciardo interesting choice of photos
-> landonorris thank you ☺️
username i will not sleep until i get answers
username we !! need !! answers !!
username genuinely on the edge of my seat fr like WHATTT
username the lyrics speak VOLUMES
username no bc if this is not y/n i will in SHAMBLES
-> username FRRRR LIKE WDYM MY COMFORT COUPLE ARE OVER
username guys i know it was for funsies before but it's getting a bit silly now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
-> username fr like y'all can stop pranking us now thank u.
charles_leclerc i hope she leaves you. AGAIN.
-> landonorris what have i ever done to you.
-> charles_leclerc ate my pasta
-> maxverstappen1 no offense but the day someone eats your pasta, it's the pearly gates for them
-> landonorris facts
-> pierregasly never eat charles' pasta
-> alex_albon it's deadly
-> charles_leclerc STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PASTA
-> charles_leclerc lando i hope she dumps you
-> landonorris you taKE THAT BACK
username LANDO WE NEED ANSWERS
username what the fuck is going is
username nice joke 😐😐😐😐 hard launch NOW.
username no bc that's y/n i don't take any criticism
username where tf are the twitter girlies they need to play detective rn
username lando this is ur last chance at confirming if that's y/n or not or else im hugging a tree at 178 mph
georgerussell63 you don't even listen to taylor swift
-> landonorris i'm a changed man
-> georgerussell63 you're barely a man
-> landonorris BLOCKED
username i live for the grid violating lando at every possible chance
username this has to be illegal they're playing with my blood pressure
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername date night but it's js me telling u about my succulents and my cats
8,137 comments
username DATE NIGHT
username mom r u done with dad be so honest
username WHAT ABOUT YOUR CHILDERN (us)
username stay together for the kids ❤️
username SHE'S SO ANGELIC WHATCTHEBFUCK
username oh i js died died
alexandrasaintmleux pretty baby 🤍
-> yourusername i love u 🤍
username forever in awe of her likeeee
username im so in love i might stop breathing
username u can talk to me about plants any day of week!!!!!! i'll even bring my plants and they can have a little photosynthetic date!!!!! and u and i a humanistic one
username i am coming for u mclaren
danielricciardo i wasn't aware of you going on a date - lando (PLEASE UNBLOCK ME)
-> yourusername yeah it's js with this loser 💔 (no.)
-> danielricciardo wow and to think i chose your favourite place tonight UNBLOCK ME
-> yourusername no ❤️
-> username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS INTERACTION
-> username they're talking?????? omg??????
-> username not him still being blocked 😭😭😭😭😭
danielricciardo real daniel here please unblock him
-> yourusername lando give daniel his phone back
-> danielricciardo FUCK YOU
-> yourusername this isn't getting u any brownie points
-> danielricciardo I DON'T WANT ANY I WANT YOU BACK
*danielricciardo deleted this comment*
-> username OH I SAW THAT OMG
-> username lando in his redemption era we love to see it
username i love her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
username lando im puncturing ur tires
username someone check on how lando's doing
lilymhe gorgeous 🫶🏼 you can talk my ear off any day
-> yourusername lily i ADORE u <3
username lando r u still breathing
username AHAHHHHSHDHDHDHDJDKDKSK
-> username real
username my pronouns are she not her bc i'll never be HER
lewishamilton please unblock him he's about to cry
-> maxverstappen1 tears are welling
-> charles_leclerc he's sniffling
-> carlossainz55 eyes have glossed over
-> oscarpiastri holding them tears at bay right now
-> pierregasly can confirm
-> alex_albon please unblock him
-> georgerussell63 he's genuinely sobbing right now
-> mclaren we can hear the cries
-> yourusername LANDO GIVE EVERYONE THEIR PHONE BACK ISTG
-> scuderiaferrari UNBLOCK ME FIRST
-> username oh this man's DEDICATED
username genuinely in ruins rn
username oh to go on a date with her ❤️
francisca.cgomes love 💌
*liked by yourusername*
username im so.
username ???? DATE ????
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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landonorris she's kinda okay
9,728 comments
username WAR IS OVER
username OH MY GOD
username "kinda okay" don't like u weren't in SHAMBLES bc of her
username world is spinning again god bless
username never have i ever felt a sense of relief this immense
username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCKKKKK
username genuinely speechless rn
charles_leclerc "kinda okay" you cried when she blocked you
-> landonorris OH MY GOD STOP
-> username LMFAOAOAOAO
-> username PLEASE OMG
username im here for every second of this
username YESSSHSHSHSHS
username i just fell to my knees at home depot
username OH MY GOD????????
lewishamilton stop being weepy now x
-> landonorris tell her to stop being mean to me x
-> lewishamilton she said nothing wrong x
-> landonorris SHE CALLED ME A MCDONALD'S CLOWN
-> landonorris x
username THE WAY IM GRINNING RN
username drought is over ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username they got back for ME
lilymhe you break her heart, i'll nail gun yours. got it?
-> landonorris yes ma'am.
-> username lily u will always be famous ❤️
username THEM.
username the biggest sigh of relief js left me
username NAHHH THIS MFS ARE EVIL LIKEE I ALMOST BROKE DOWN BC OF THEM AND THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE JS SEEING EACH OTHER
-> username bitches (affectionate)
username missed my parents ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😭😭😭😭😭
username LET'S FUCKING GO
username watch lando get a podium at the next race
-> username oh my man's gonna be motivated
alexandrasaintmleux don't make me pull out the 25272828 messages from u saying how much u love me and those ESSAYS u sent me - y/n
-> landonorris first, DON'T do that
-> landonorris second, why are you using alex no. 2's phone?
-> alexandrasaintmleux first, DON'T tell me what to do
-> alexandrasaintmleux second, i'm blocked???
-> alexandrasaintmleux please don't call me alex no. 2 - alex
-> landonorris first, noted
-> landonorris second, i unblocked you???
-> landonorris sorry alexA force of habit
-> alexandrasaintmleux oh
-> username nah they forced my girl alex to sign off as "alex" on her OWN acc 😭😭😭😭
-> username PLEASE WHAT IS THIS CONVO
-> username the two things i've inferred from above are 1) y/n is not blocked on lando's acc she js chooses to comment from other ppl's phone and refuses to elaborate and 2) lando calls alexandra alex no. 2
-> username this is a WILD place to be
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername yeah i'll be loving u for quite some time or whatever taylor swift said (❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)
comments are disabled for this post
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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landonorris happier than ever
11,638 comments
username LANDO NORRIS U ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE
username nah not him using the same caption that he used to shade her
-> username it's almost poetic in a way
username I JUST SCREECHED WHAT THE FUCK
username WAR IS OVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭
username the way i collapsed omg
username THE CAPTION HELP??????
username this is life altering
charles_leclerc not a funny caption
-> landonorris have a sense of humour
-> charles_leclerc i have you as a friend and you're a joke so, i do, in fact, have a sense of humour
-> landonorris you're getting reported for that
-> username LMFAOAOAOAO
-> username PLEASE OMG
username im sooooo here for this
username brb checking if my toaster is waterproof or not
-> username i'll join u!!
username SCREECHING OH MY GOD
username i feel like i've js managed to make two toddlers quit fighting and feel like such a proud parent
-> danielricciardo that's exactly how we feel
-> heidiberger_ so true
-> maxverstappen1 absolutely
-> kellypiquet they were worse than actual kids
-> sebastianvettel they're stubborn
-> scuderiaferrari the amount of times we've had to stop y/n from smashing his car is insane
-> mclaren we had to stay indoors with locked doors scuderiaferrari
-> susie_wolff it was horrible
-> landonorris every single one of you is horrible
-> carmenmmundt fuck u all i hope u step on a lego - y/n
-> landonorris FOR THE LAST TIME YOU'RE NOT BLOCKED yourusername
-> carmenmmundt idc
username life has meaning again
username omg
username THE WEEKND LYRICS OH MY GOD
-> username im folded
username SCREAMING IM SOOOO HAPPY
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username they're actually so taylor swift coded it's INSANE
username brb gonna cry some more
username i used to PRAY for this
danielricciardo could've chosen a different caption - y/n
-> landonorris IT'S THE THOUGH THAT COUNTS
-> danielricciardo terrible thought
-> landonorris i take it back
-> danielricciardo ❤️
danielricciardo this is sweet
-> landonorris thank you
danielricciardo I LOVE YOU
-> landonorris I LOVE YOU MOREEE
danielricciardo bf
-> landonorris gf
-> username what in the world am i witnessing
-> username shh js look away
-> username what in the dando i just witnessed
-> username NOT DANDO OH MY GOD
username sleepover on highway !!!!!!!!!!!!!
username im sooooOOOOooo normal about this (!!!!!!!!!!!)
username ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
danielricciardo nice jacket in the last slide
-> landonorris yeah it'll look even better on your floor
-> danielricciardo mate what the actual fuck
-> landonorris NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
-> landonorris WHERE'S Y/N
-> danielricciardo SHE GAVE ME MY PHONE BACK
-> landonorris OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY
-> heidiberger_ wow
-> yourusername i guess it's js us now heidiberger_
-> heidiberger_ ❤️❤️❤️
-> landonorris NOW YOU CHOOSE TO BE ON YOUR OWN ACCOUNT yourusername???
-> yourusername yes ❤️
-> username this is CRAZY
-> username i genuinely have a whiplash
2K notes · View notes
boba-at-323 · 5 months
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Stay-home dates with RIIZE !!
Note : OMG !! I had so much fun writing thisssss <333 || DID NOT PROOFREAD PLEASE || Also Idk what to tw but I have mentioned snacks a whole lot of time + I TRIED MY BEST TO MAKE IT GENDER NEUTRAL BUT LIKE SINCE IM FEMALE SO EXCUSE ME ;-; please enjoyyyy !!
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Osaki Shotaro <3 !
Hmm, not a big fan, but as long as you're happy he is too !!
Omg !!
You ask him to film TikToks with you and he's MORE THAN HAPPY !!
So like you've saved a lot of trends and dances you wanna recreate with him.
He's so excited and gets all giggly over it!
Takes it a little too seriously…
Like you're looking at him with your jaw dropped and eyes wide because how did it take him one look to literally MASTER the dance.
Laughs embarrassed when you praise him !!
But you tell him that he's too fast for you ';-; so he apologises and suggests teaching you the dance step by step!
The two of you continuously burst into fits of giggles when something goes wrong.
ITS JUST SO FUNNY BUT IN A CUTE WAY FOR SOME REASON
You'd film like 29837209 TikToks and just have fun goofing around.
You might also end up exhausted on the floor reviewing the videos you filmed.
Thinks you look very cute and asks you to do this often with him!
Might get bored if you don't have a lot to do.
HOWEVER !!!
Would love to talk to you about anything really.
I feel like he's someone who enjoys conversing, so you might actually start having deep conversations that will last for hours.
Hmm rating 8/10 PLS HES SO ADORABLE <3
Rest of the members under the cut !
Song Eunseok <3 !
This man is literally so chill with everything.
Like you'd suggest going for a picnic on a volcano and he'd be like "lol ok."
Okay, maybe not that much but yk what I mean !!
So yeah you're probably sitting with him binge-watching some anime or series.
He's quiet the whole time and is actually very immersed in the story.
However, he will be passing comments every now and then.
And I tell you, these comments are so out of pocket???
Like you can't help but burst out laughing.
And he's just gonna look at you like "😐".
AS IF HE HADN'T SAID THE MOST FUNNIEST THING YOU'VE HEARD ALL WEEK.
So yeah be prepared cuz the witty comments he's gonna slip will crack you so bad.
Like it actually makes you question how his brain works
ESPECIALLY HOW HE DOES LITERAL STAND-UP COMEDY WITH THAT SERIOUS EXPRESSION !!!
But it's okay, that just means he's having fun!
Also, it's very hard to concentrate on whatever you're watching cuz he looks so pretty next to you.
Like you keep on looking at him, smirks 100%
"Yeah I know I'm too hard to resist"
GETS COCKY BUT CAN YOU BLAME HIM !!!
Also makes sure you get your share of snacks!!
I'd rate it a solid 9/10 cuz it's really entertaining!
Jung Sungchan <3 !
HE IS NOT ENTERTAINED BY THE IDEA !!!
But after much convincing, he gives in.
"At least we get to spend time together, right?"
YOU'RE BAKING TOGETHER YIPPIEEEE!!!
But what happens is like,
You're standing there tying your hair back, you ask him for help with your apron.
Gets a little too touchy
You have to slap his arm away and give him a death glare.
Pretends he doesn't know what he did rn 😔
Is actually a very good helping hand.
Like helps you out, follows everything you tell him to do, however...
Has his doubts, and totally shakes his head if he thinks smth is going wrong.
"Y/n are you sure it's 2 cups sugar?" "I don't think we should be using butter…"
NOOO ENDS UP GETTING KICKED OUT OF THE KITCHEN BECAUSE
Like he said, he takes up a large radius.
So this clumsy baby probably toppled over a lot of things, making a very big mess ;-;
Apologises repeatedly with sad puppy eyes 🥹
You kiss his cheek and tell him it's fine
Though you ask him to sit it out and let you handle the rest of the process yourself.
YOU DO DECORATE WTV YOU MADE TOGETHER SO HES VERY EXCITED FOR THAT !!!
I'd rate it a 4/10, this man is NOT meant to be confined to a small space.
Park Wonbin <3 !
Would prefer them actually !!!
He'd absolutely LOVE to cuddle with you throughout the day.
Like he'd just be clinging onto you telling you literally everything that happened to him cuz for some reason he gives me yapper vibes
Though he'd appreciate listening to what you have to tell him, leaving a trail of kisses all over your neck.
Also he LOVES your voice so much omg !
So he can also pull out his guitar and have a serenade with you (english 💀).
Would ask you your favourite song, and if he doesn't know it WILL make sure he knows it the next time you guys have an at-home date
If he knows, he plays it for you encouraging you to sing.
you tell him you think your voice sucks.
A DRAMATIC GASP COMES FROM HIS DIRECTION !!!
"Nonsense idc i just wanna hear your pretty voice <3"
Literally heart eyes for you once you start singing,
Like might actually melt, give you the softest, most lovesick gaze EVER !
There is a possibility he ends up messing up the cords cuz you distracted him !!!
He's so cute pls </3
Omg also, the two of you might also end up in the kitchen cooking smth together, blasting a playlist he made for you!
But you don't know that <3
He actually so desperately wants to do cliche romantic things with you but is too shy to initiate </3
It's giving that "Idk how to flirt so I'm just gonna stare at you till you marry me" meme
HOWEVER !!
Be prepared for endless back hugs because he's just so SO soft for you <333
Anyways yeah 11/10 (+1 is probably cuz I'm so down bad for him)
Hong Seunghan <3 !
My manz I miss him all day everyday ;-;
He's so sweet I tell you, agrees to literally everything.
Putting mbti and stuff aside, I think he'd actually plan out a few activities you could do together.
Like if you're going over to his place, hes prepared snacks and stuff for you.
Hmm !! Video games are a must I believe !!
Like I read he plays FIFA online???
SO yeah, if you know how to play, the both of you would spend hours playing together
I don't see him getting very competitive but will whine if you keep on beating him!
However, will also compliment on how great you are at the game!!
HE FEELS PROUD I TELL YOU !!
However, if you don't know how to play and absolutely suck (like me ;-;)
HE'D BE SO EXCITED TO TEACH YOU !!
When you mess something up, or like if you can't understand something, the pout on your lips makes his heart EXPLODE.
Like he thinks you're the most adorable ever, he'd start squealing if his pride lets him.
Ends up attacking you with kisses and hugs.
The game is long forgotten, just a clingy Seunghan showering you with love because of how adorable he finds you.
I'D RATE IT AN 8/10 TBH BECAUSE HE'D FORGET WHAT PERSONAL SPACE IS !!!
Lee Sohee <3 !
SPENT SO MUCH TIME THINKING SOMETHING FOR HIM 😭
Unlike Seunghan, I can see him playing board games and such with you!
For example, the two of you could be sitting on the floor playing UNO.
But that got boring CUZ HOW DO TWO PEOPLE EVEN PLAY UNO !!!
So takes out a Jenga set because he thought it was very entertaining!
Both of you are screaming SO much when either chooses the wrong piece to remove.
HOWEVER, HE'S USING THE SPECIAL SKILLS EUNSEOK TAUGHT HIM!!!
Which is unfair to you and you WILL whine about it.
"All is fair in war and Jenga"
HIS WORDS NOT MINE !!!
Laughs at you because you're definitely the one who's going to topple the tower over.
So yeah you all spend a lot of time giggling and screaming over board games!
OMG ALSO !! Thanks to Anton, he bought some Lego sets too!!
You all start good but eventually get so frustrated because you can't find one tiny piece.
Ofc you give up and spend the rest of the evening with his karaoke machine !!
HE !! WANTS !! TO !! SING !!
And please you're just so mesmerised the whole time he's singing.
Like woah??? His voice is so good even when he's goofing around? INSANE!!
Though you aren't losing to him, so the both of you get SUPER competitive.
RATING THIS A 7/10 !!
Lee Anton <3 !
Like Wonbin, he'd also enjoy stay-at-home dates.
I can see him enjoying doing anything, to be honest.
Like for example, the two of you could just be lying next to each other sharing with each other reels you see.
Or just him listening to you telling him some tea from your workplace/college etc.
Sitting on the bed together with a variety of snacks sprawled around.
Like Sohee, I can even see him building Legos in silence with you cuz this guy is so patient !
Oh also!
He'd pull out his laptop and shyly ask if you'd like to listen to the music he's created.
After listening, your face is the shocked Pikachu meme.
"Woahhh my boyfriend is so cool :OOO"
Get's blushy over the compliments you shower him with.
Brushes it off saying it's nothing.
THATS A FREAKING LIE LEE CHANYOUNG!!
NEways, teaches you how to try making music.
Laughs if you cry about how difficult it is, he thinks it's adorable.
You ask him to delete the trash you've made, but he creates a separate folder to save everything you've made with him.
ITS ART TO HIM !!! HOW CAN HE THINK SMTH YOU'VE CREATED IS TRASH?!?!?!
Plus he treasures it so much like only if he could somehow just make you feel how much it means to him !!
SO YEAH !
Pretty cute, very cozy, overall nice experience 10/10 <3
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Thank you for reading reblogs and reviews are appreciated ! <3
Title : Stay-home dates with Riize || Word count: 1652 || Genre: fluff ! || Pairing: Riize x implied Fem!Reader (tried making it gender neutral pt.29382938)
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mariusroyale · 10 months
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tips on how to draw raph? :3
I’m a raph lover but he is so hard to draw 😔
hey an!! listen i get u completely, this big spikey boy can be a real challenge
my main advice would probably be to recognise raph’s structure? his shapes and how he’s formed, etc. and the best way for that imo are references! i have a tag for this actually
and here’s some raph refs!
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if u wanna know how to draw the entirety of the best boy this post wouldn’t do it justice so here’s some main things:
if you’re trying to replicate the show’s style keep in mind how angular everything is. raph's main shape is a square because of how bulky and rigid he is (helps to encourage his character's role too! love that they made him such a fucken tank)
raph’s head shape is basically if you widened leo’s head- they’re both pointed too
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one main thing i do for any head really is keep in mind the eye placement and the cheeks
if u happen to draw faces with the fabled circle and two lines- i use the horizontal line to mark where the bottom of the eyes are- and where the start of the cheek begins (i’m doing my best not to make this into a ‘now draw the rest of the owl’ moment)
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if that makes any sense. heres a really shoddy 'tutorial'
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i kinda just blank out on my canvas and raph appears out of sheer will
but also just like.
figure out how you like raph's head to look (maybe u want his snout longer, or his jaw shorter, etc etc)
figure out where his brow ridges are located and how they're moving (is he grumpy? is he angry??)
make a mask for his eyes to go in (jebus take the wheel)
pronounce snout (it protrudes, which makes it easy to figure out his facial planes)
do whatever feels right for his mouth- im not exactly rigid with how i draw as of rn, i just do what feels right
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ive drawn raph with a more pronounced snout too, and oscillate between designs if i feel like it (truthfully i also sometimes begin his head shape with a square (i mean if im doing a different style), feel free to do that if it helps i dunno-)
if you want to draw his shell and plastron here’s what i do:
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being able to carve out 3D shapes will help a lot with the border of his shell
by blocking out the main shape and then carving away at it you can then see how raph’s shell is structured (just. try decipher my sketch if u can pfghjhj)
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for the actual shell itself it’s a lot like mikey and leo’s where it has a big curve and then dips at his midsection (where his belt goes!) also keep in mind the spikes of his shell follow those same curves (ft. dr belle)
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with his plastron (chest plate) i basically make sure it’s the same length of his clavicle? the jagged edges of it i mean. it helps a lot to map out where his shoulders meet his arms
(pls keep in mind my art’s inconsistent and i don’t even follow my advice- the hole in his shell changes every time i draw it 💀)
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his body shape is also just in general wider and stockier- if i ever see people draw him skinnier than he is you'd be able to hear my soul exiting my body
all of him is wider in general! hes bigger than the rest of his brothers so dont forget to show it instead of just giving him a height difference. he BEEG.
i’m not sure how else to describe the process of drawing him other than just. draw him?? 😅 my best advice would be to draw him repeatedly based on references- and study your favourite raph artists’ way of drawing him (mine would be jacocoon and itz_jazzy_jazzin)
and it helps to study bc it can answer these questions
how do you want to draw him? do you like the way a specific artist stylises his features? do you want him more spikey? more sharp? maybe you want to draw him bigger! (i myself like to give him a tail, extra markings on his spikes + a few scars post movie and his mismatched eyes)
repetition is super important to get it all engrained in your brain- and it’s why i don’t really even use refs for him anymore fldjs
dont forget a very important rule: appreciate the big boy in all his glory
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ultra-raging-ghost · 6 months
Text
Okay so. i just spent all day moving and i came back to this news and i dont know how much im gonna say but ill just start talking
Best wishes to pomme and dappers ex admins, i hope theyre doing well. However, with both of them dropping the project i am 100% certain the french CCs will not be returning and im 80% sure bad will not be returning either, which is very upsetting to me but theres nothing i can do about it so im just gonna suck it up and deal with it
At its core, the QSMP was a wonderful idea and a wonderful concept, the resources it's provided for the MC community (as far as live translations in and out of game) are revolutionary and i really hope that as more servers and projects are created these features will continue to develop
I am hoping the CCs continue to play with eachother outside of the QSMP, but im not 100% sure how that's gonna work out for them, i only joined the QSMP right before purgatory and i am a bbh main so im not sure what all is gonna happen or how theyre gonna proceed moving forward. I will say that the french have been a huge part of my enjoyment of the server and i will miss them severely. I dont know if ill be able to continue watching them outside the server (the in-twitch live translations arent very compatible with my computer and there are none for VODs) but i loved them dearly, and i am sending especially well wishes to Etoiles, he's having a very hard time rn and im keeping him in my heart
I will continue to be a BBH and Tubbo main, if they play on the server i will liveblog it and i will reblog and post art on here as well as continuing my fanfictions and such, i love the project as it's gotten me through a very hard time in my life (and all this shit has happened on the day mostly ending that very hard time, irony) and i would like to continue supporting the lovely fandom space we've cultured on tumblr.
I dont know how this is gonna affect the qsmp awards and everything, i dont know if im gonna liveblog it but im curious to see who all shows up considering the current situation. I am desperately hoping Q pulls up his big boy pants and communicates with the admins, but i can understand why he wouldnt right now as this is a very slow process, and nobody knows how to keep the communications to the admins off twitter.
I am keeping my thoughts hopeful for the CCs that decide to stay and the admins who decide to stay, i will keep trying to watch tazercraft and fit but their schedules dont line up with mine so itll be hard.
its a hard time for us all right now, sit back and drink some water if you are able to, i might be reblogging some stuff tonight but im not sure how much ill be posting, keep me updated yall <3
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sheyfu · 1 month
Note
Hello, please check out this tumblr post right here
https://www.tumblr.com/caiimeal/758903075186622464/ai-user-vmlnrz?source=share
to spread awareness. This blue lock 'writer' (@/vmlnrz) uses artificial intelligence (AI) to write their work. Proof included.Reblogs are appreciated.
hi nonnieeeeee thank you so much for sending me thissss <3
i just checked the post and it's quite saddening to hear this T__T there are a lot of authors who pour their hearts and hours to create and post on this platform and seeing someone use AI to make a story instead of writing one themself actually makes me a little, you know, demotivated WUSHHAHAHA
i mean hear me out, using AI to create something isn't necessarily bad. however, if you use it (as in use it and then claim it as your own) (i literally also cannot tolerate the use of AI AHSHHAAH), then that's a very different story. i don't want to sound like a know it all or a show-off (or pabibo in tagalog bc i literally don't know the right term for this in english 😭😭) but whenever i have a lecture in communication (OVERHSARING TIME WUAHAHHAH) my prof always says to this to us. moreover, she's not someone who's strict about using AI engines like ChatGPT (she actually encourages us to do so), however, please see her explanation as to why she allows us to use AI in our projects!!
in her words (not exact, but the gist of it is here IWHAHJA [she makes sure to tell us before every meeting so it's practically engraved into my mind rn WUHAHAJAJ)
'i don't mind you using ChatGPT to write your papers, but you should know how to use it responsibly. by responsibly, i mean use it as a guide to helping you, not the other way around [the engine helping you instead]. you have the power to control the engine, but of course, don't let it control you. if you're having trouble writing or starting or concluding your paper, you can use ChatGPT to help you with that. but remember, the use of ChatGPT is to help you branch out your ideas, not create your ideas.'
of course, im not saying that the author using an engine was very wrong (i mean, to some degree, it definitely is wrong hahaha), however, i just hope that they know writing is crafted by your imagination. and if that imagination is encapsulated by AI, then what's the point of making stories? yes, writing is hard, it definitely is. but that doesn't give you a reason to just fuck it and ball WHAHHAAHHAHA writing is a lokg process. throughout your journey as a writer, you'll experience a lot of things (my whole life is an e2l 55k fanfic ao3 tumblr wattpad fanfic.com oneshot with writer's block atp), and you may also discover your own unique writing style!
i'll admit that at first, i did use AI and took inspo from other authors, but i didn't use AI/inspo just to post. i used AI to gather ideas, expand my vocabulary, and expose myself to fiction writing. and with those inspos/sample stories, i was able to find my own writing style that helped me in my success (AM I SUCCESSFUL?×?@(@(@ WHAHAHAH)
with a big platform like tumblr, this message could rub off in the wrong way to some people. so, if you don't agree, please consider clicking off. i don't need people to criticize my opinions, only my works, please WHAJHAAHAHHA. on the other hand, though, if you want to share any of your opinions, then feel free to drop by my inbox/comment here :))
im really not the best person to approach when it comes to these stuff (my thoughts are so messy and im literally clueless as to whats happening rn HWJSHSJAH), but i hope that this message could at least inspire the author to create a work of their own. plus, if they have trouble writing, they could always ask for help from others!! (you can ask me, but idk if i'll be able to give good advice in writing actuall written works LMAOAOAKAOO [im much more comfy w chat aus WHEHEHEHEH])
so to end, i hope that this author could figure out everything they need to figure out. i encourage you to post anything and everything you like. don't think about if people would like it or not. writing is an experimental journey. you'll experience a lot of ups and downs (ahem, writer's block and burning out, ahem), but if you take your time in crafting your very own pieces, i'm sure you'll be able to create things that are solely unique to you, and reflect pieces of you and your passion in writing :))
good luck, author! i wish you all the best in your writing journey! if you need help, i'm sure there are lots of people who are willing to do so :)
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illyrianbitch · 3 months
Note
Queen we are starving for EIM!! (No rush tho!!) Hows it going?
eeek i’m so sorry lovey i’m working on it!! i was ready to have it out last week bc i wrote so much but i’m going throughhh it rn :( i’ll try to get it out asap but it’s not going well at all ☹️
while im on the subject here’s a lil long update & personal rambling:
some trigger warnings for death, suicide mention & breakup stuff <3
grief is such a strange little creature and it’s currently biting at me rn, im just rly feeling the loss of my friend. since he passed towards the end of my semester, i was so stressed with finals and preparing for summer that i never properly processed it. i’ve been struggling a lot with this guilt that comes from knowing someone who took their own life and chastising myself that i didn’t keep in closer contact with him
plus i’m properly going through the breakup feelings now and that’s also such a strange type of mourning. i made a post about this already but it’s weird writing rn because my experiences of love came from my partner. i don’t know if it’s healing or harming me to write about these sweet feelings that i fully base on moments i had in my relationship. its veryyy bittersweet
this is hard to explain but we were together for a long time (at least ~4.5 years is a lot to me) and he knew me, like knew me, knew me. and now he’s not in my life and i don’t feel known anymore. these versions of myself i’ve been, that he loved, aren’t known to anyone else now and it’s a bit lonely and i’ve been heartbroken over it. i’m mourning all those versions that’ll never be known by someone else and the future versions of myself that he could’ve loved too.
also, i recently had someone pass away in front of me. i work at a senior living community and i absolutely love love my job. but the circle of life does mean that i deal with death a lot. usually i’m good at managing but this time….she was one of my favorite residents and she had a heart attack when i was on call. i sat there with her as the ems came, watched as they did everything they could, and then sat there talking to police as they covered her. and i’ve been thinking about that experience nonstop since
all of this blabbering just to say i’m going through a rough time right now. i’m hoping i can write soon bc writing is truly my way of getting my thoughts out but we shall see. i’ve been very very critical and insecure about my work recently so all of these negative emotions haven’t helped (womp womp)
remember to take care of yourself and hug the people you love! tell them how much you love them! (also esp your fav writers! we’re all going through our own lives & you never know how far a compliment goes) <3
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plutoons · 2 months
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Can you do a tutorial on how your art process is done I’m about to quit on Art everything I make fucking sucks .
hey anon !! My art process is almost non existent cause i haven’t been able to stick to One definitive way and i don’t want to cause i think its limiting. I still have a long way to go for improving my skills and learning new things and figuring out different styles !!
Heres a quickk drawing showing what my “main” process is
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This is something i generally have stuck to for most of my posted drawings (i can post things specific to some drawings on a separate reblog ^^ im just to lazy to get pictures of em for examples rn)
Doodle !! I cant visualize shit, and usually have a very vague idea of what id like to draw Or just nothing at all. So I doodle messily with expressive gestures till’ i find something that sticks
choose one final concept/sketch and clean it up a lil so i have a way better idea of what im getting myself into
Base colors cause i hate doing lineart. So i just go straight into colors casue its fun and i like fun!! Right on top or on a diff layer it doesnt matter. I color pick with my eyes and put base colors or anything i think it would be cool. No pressure and it can messy cause I’ll clean it up and figure shit out later
fuck around and find out (rendering ig)—> i cant explain it super well or definitively. I just layer and throw colors on top till im satisfied or Done with it. I flip my canvas a bunch or check my values to make sure the results come out to look more coherent regardless of the mess of color
Im just a simple person and cant handle something that requires too many steps or things that havta be done Just right so this works for me atm. This may not be your jam but finding a process in that works for you through trial an error is just a part of art. Do what works for you!! I think experimenting is so important even if it sucks in the end
(more Words / “advice ?” under cut)
I have so many shitty drawings and sketches and even colored things that outweigh the tiny bits of art i decide to show off
I totally get that creating art can get really discouraging at times; not getting the results you want when you want them no matter how much effort you put in just sucks, but it won’t always be that way :] even if it takes you 10 years to find your groove and see improvement or 2 years, it’ll happen. I find that i’ve only improved when i actively didn’t give a fuck about how my art looks and only cared that i was having fun through it all, and thats hard cause perfectionism is a bitch and its hard to get rid of. You could improve with studies and daily practice for sure but moving towards improvement can be as fun and light n breezy as you want to make it, like taking a break to explore different hobbies or changing up mediums or fucking around and experimenting with it can help !!! Allow ur art to be bad; cause fuck it, at least you made something and thats really really cool. Once you cut urself some slack it’ll be easier to improve upon your skillset and slowly but surely get to where you want
Sorry im a bit tired idk if this is coherent so heres a more direct thing i’d like to say:
Maybe ur art isn’t where you want it to be rn and ik it can kill ur motivation to keep going at it (i’ve experienced this feeling a lot and im sure so have many others). But you gotta ease up on urself and stop worrying about results so you can allow yourself to experiment and have fun!! And its hard getting into that mindset but you gotta keep trying and you’ll find it getting easier
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Text
The Umbrella Academy season 2 episode 5
Pogo origins!!!
Well then!
Wait...I'm like sooo confused about everything to do with Hargreeves and the violin and the time travel and just- everything! I don't know what's real
Five will do it too
Ben is trying so fucking hard to keep Klaus alive and healthy and Klaus doesn't make it easy. Poor Ben, his family is a bunch of disasters
Allison and Klaus's relationship is important to me
For a second Ben was proud of one of his sibilings. Only for a second though
They are very cute and it's gonna end in heart break I just know it
👀👀👀
Oh Luther. That's not going to end well
"I have a deep dislike of children" Yeah no shit
Diego is a little shit to Luther and it's very funny
Oop. Is Harland aware? He seems to be
Alright I'll give Diego this one, just as I gave Luther his
SISTER HUG
GROUP HUG
All Klaus dynamics are god tier
KLAUS DONT LIE ABOUT BEN
Ben I'm so sorry you have to put up with this
Im killing the Handler like I think she just killed that cat
Klaus!
THANK YOU VANYA THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING ITS YOU GUYS
Diego, buddy, I know you *really* wanna save JFK but I'm prettttty sure him staying alive is gonna fuck shit up
Hm. Five had time, the first time around to process his family's deaths. He saw their bodies, yes, but he didn't watch them die, nor did he instantly recognize them. They were adults and he was 13. But this time, he watched them all die, knowing it was them. His family that he had JUST got back! That he'd JUST saved! The family he spent 45 years wanting to get back to! To save! He watched them die. And that was only a few days ago. It's still fresh, it probably plays behind his eyes when he closes them. He doesn't want to lose them again. He needs to get this right
THEYRE GETTING TACOS
Ben breaking my heart with a single line: "I've missed you all, so much."
Klaus fucking getting Allison's ass, and he's right
This dynamic right here? The three of them? I'm so happy
They're all messes each and every one of these sibilings (maybe not Ben but he's dead he doesn't really have his own shit just everyone elses)
Another group hug and a dance party!? I'm so happy rn oh my god
Rip that guy
Oh so she does have powers!
Is Carl in the room? Is he gonna hear this and it gonna be real bad?
And there's my heart breaking
Oh these guys did care about each other
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boydepartment · 9 months
Text
hi guys so i wanted to give a little life update and be 100% honest with you guys
tw
i had a feeling that this was going to happen after my teeth removal and my parents have been trying really hard to keep me healthy and i’ve somewhat hinted abt this but my recovery time is going to be a bit longer
i struggle hard with anorexia and it makes everything exhausting and healing processes longer and so i’m sorry if it takes longer for me to get back to normal updates n stuff
i’ve been trying hard to eat but my brain is in like a battle zone rn. bc it hurts to move my jaw but then also my weight plays a factor because that effects my mental it’s hard to explain
it’s just a lot rn and i’m sorry i never wanted to straight out say it but i don’t want anyone to think im like going to disappear or anything
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What the shit is everhood
(Info dump pls?)
Gladly! ^w^
so everhood is a game that I would say is very similar to undertale, from the pixel art style to the humour to the general uhh theme? i guess is the word? Where you play as a wooden puppet named red on a quest to get your arm back from gold pig. The battle mechanic is a rhythm based system where you have to jump around and over beats the enemies through at you. The music is absolutely fucking fantastic and i actually bought the soundtrack i like it so much lol
a couple battles get absolutely insane with the visuals too, to the point im not even totally sure i can do a description justice? you can check out this video if you're curious, theres really no spoilers in this battle but it shows what im talking about. these battles are where the photosensitivity warning really comes in though, so be cautious if that effects you
I can't go too deep into the plot without getting into spoiler territory, so i'll put that under the cut for anyone who's curious, but here's what I can say! You go around collecting clues to find gold pig and get your arm back, and along the way you get to meet all the wonderful characters that populate Everhood. Like Rasta beast, Noseferatchu the sneezing vampire, Flan and Muck, the dancing mushrooms, a vampire who's name always changes. You really get to know and love these characters while also learning that maybe everything isn't as it seems in Everhood. Maybe, actually nothing is what it seems. Maybe you're the only one willing to do something about. But..... are you willing?
oh also kermit is there and I think he might be god? Also you can kill him and it impacts literally nothing
Full plot summary under the cut. I highly recommend you play the game without spoilers, but if you're like me and you Need to know what happens before you play then go wild. I'll only be talking about the intended good ending though, since I haven't gotten around to playing the secret endings yet- oh also mild spoilers for undertale i guess if youre worried about that in 2023
so when I say its similar to undertale in themes, its sort of. in a reverse sense. In undertale the good ending is the pacifist route. By saving the monsters you help them escape the underground and better their situation. It is mercy, the direct functional opposite of killing, that saves you. There is no mercy kill because using mercy ends the fight period.
Well in Everhood, the good ending requires you to kill everyone.
Your arm was taken from you because you've done this before, wiped out countless lives, friends even. And now you must finish the job. Its hard and sad and it sucks but it has to be you because no one else is going to. It falls on you to go back to these spots you've been through already, these happy cheerful locations, and hunt down everyone you've come to know over the course of the game.
so why do you need to kill everyone? and how on earth is it similar to undertale at all? well, Everhood isn't just the title of the game or the location it takes place, its the state every single character in the game is stuck in.
in the distant past, humanity found a way to reach another world, one they called Everhood. And in this world, no one could ever die. Some people chose to stay in this world, which lost connection to the human world for some reason i dont remember rn, and in doing so slowly lost their humanity. They lived for eons and eons and eons, changing their shape and loosing themselves in the process. You discover at one point that the Green Mage, a chaotic character whom I love, has been keeping track of the years everyone has spent in Everhood, every year a tally on the wall of their secret playroom. It takes three hours to get to the end of this hallway, to give you an idea of scale here. three real time hours.
Your character, Red, is a vessel for the literal human player behind the screen to free the inhabitants of Everhood from eternity. They aren't really happy. They can't be. They've been stuck for so long, and even though they beg and plead for you not to kill them you have to. Its the only way for them to be happy and move on from Everhood. And don't get me wrong you CAN choose not to go through with it. You have to actively fight back after this reveal to kill anyone. I haven't played through this way, so I can't speak on it.
The ending is sort of ambiguous, in which Pink (the person pretending to be Red and letting you the player control them) goes to an afterlife after killing everyone and gets to see them one last time, and they're happy. They forgive you. One by one you talk to them and they thank you for freeing them, apologize for fighting you, and move on happily to whatever comes after death. I choose to interpret it literally, but there's something to be said about the idea it's all in Pink's head. I don't think it was meant to be taken that way, but its one way to look at it.
The game sort of looses people with this being the good ending. But I think it's a beautiful metaphor. Sometimes you keep doing things that hurt you only because you're used to it. Maybe you don't even realize how its hurting you, its better than the alternative right? For the longest time I kept my bedroom blinds perpetually closed because the bright sunlight gave me headaches. I didn't realize just how depressed it was making me to be in near constant darkness like that. It was only after I bought a plant on a whim that I realized how much happier I was letting in the sunlight. You get so used to bad habits and awful jobs and clothes you hate because they're familiar. And doesn't it just seem easier? To take non-action and let everyone keep living and having fun in Everhood? Green Mage hosts DnD every week (or whatever counts as a week after you've lived for eternity), go play with the mushrooms in the forest, doesn't that sound lovely? You don't have to kill anyone, just keep living on exactly as you were! You have friends here Red! It hurts too much to kill them! they don't want to die! why not just give up? How could anything good come from the pain of change?
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velvetvexations · 3 months
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i saw ur ok w ppl venting in ur inbox so i hope this is ok sorry if its a lot haha im a pre everything trans guy who is in the process of doctors visits that in all likelyhood are gonna result in me going on estrogen and its all been so. uncomfortable. my puberty was kinda stunted so ive always had a very androgynous look even before i realized i wasnt a woman, and people regularly confuse me for a teenager as a nearly 30 year old grown ass adult. i was hoping i could skate with low estrogen letting me just be just slightly ambiguous enough to get the occasional "young man" without much effort, but its to the point its a medical issue now and i dont rlly have a choice but to take it seriously, no matter how dysphoria inducing its gonna be if i suddenly get boobs for the first time in my life at almost 30, especially when i have no idea if taking The Correct For Me hormone is ever in the future as im studying to be a teacher,,, in us public school system,,, which currently seems like the worst career possible for a trans person rn but here i am lmao idk its just so many things and so many hard choices, and on top of it all idiots online tell me this is whats its like to be a Privledged Transgender Man With No Issues lmao id truly love one of them to tell me where all my male privledge is cuz im not seein it! (ps thanks for letting ppl vent to u, its gotta be a lot of emotional labor for total strangers, i hope u take care of urself!)
You don't have male privilege, anon, and I'm sorry people don't recognize that. You deserve love and support. <3
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