#IM SO SORRY I NEVER CHECK MY INBOX I NOTICED ONLY NOW BECAUSE I WAS ABOUT TO LOG OUT ahg

[pineapplething]

May all your dreams in this new year be about cats and complicated machines

Wait. Waiit. This is like the nicest wish anyone has ever said to me ;; <3

Thank you, I hope so too!

[jaembun]

i can’t get over you.

you’re not together, and you never check your inbox. he carries on anyway ！⠀⸻⠀lee donghyuck x gnr ⠀ angst (?) fwb au voicemail format ⠀ cw mentions of drinking & vomiting suggestive (ish) ⠀ wc 1.6k ⠀ now playing . . ☆

생각⠀writing a whole ex fwbs smau aint enough nooo i gotta write ts too 🤦‍♂️

⠀☆⠀00:12 AM

wow. that was—great. i had a good time, and i hope you did too. i think your phone’s dead, because you were all over chenle asking to borrow his, so maybe you’ll only hear this in the morning.  [he laughs]  i hope the hangover isn’t too awful tomorrow. my hip doesn’t hurt too bad from whacking it on that counter, in case you were wondering. i didn’t know you were gonna lift me like that, that was crazy! mark gave me a weird look when i came back to the others, but he always looks like that after a few shots—like he’s just sucked on a lemon. anyway, goodnight. get back to me soon, yeah? maybe we could do that again—it doesn’t have to be serious, no labels or anything. just a bit of fun between friends.

⠀☆⠀11:35 PM

[whispering]  my phone’s the one nearly dead this time. eight percent, so i gotta make it quick. tonight was.. really nice. thanks again. the takeout was really cool of you too, and i’ll pay you back when i get in. i’m talking so quiet ‘cause im in an uber, and i think i just saw the driver giving me a dirty look through the mirror. he has his own playlist on—i mean, unless there’s a new radio station called ‘on the grind’ with two fire emojis and, like, the one of the arm flexing? it’s all been pretty bad stuff so far, but there was this one song, and—it kinda reminded me of you, a bit.  [a pause, before he brushes over it]  i tried to shazam it because i’d look weird leaning over the console to see what it was called, but it was over by then. bummer! we’re coming up on my street now, though, and i’m on three percent now, so i’ll go. see you soon?

⠀☆⠀09:47 PM

injunnie asked me about that mark you left. i made up something about my kitchen cabinet door, but i know he didn’t really believe me. he had that look in his eye, you know? that one where it feels like he sees right through you. anyway.. maybe we should keep them somewhere less noticeable next time? we’re not—you know.

i’m going out with mark and chenle tonight. they’re doing a two-for-one on cocktails and there’s karaoke, so i think it’ll be fun. i probably won’t see it ‘til tomorrow, but call back when you hear this.  [he laughs]  or if i am still up and drunk when you call then you can sing me a lullaby, yeah?  [an awkward pause]  uh. i’ll just—talk to you later.

⠀☆⠀10:26 AM

[hesitant]  oh my god. i didn’t—sorry. i should’ve told you i had someone over. i completely forgot about the brunch thing, it’s my fault. kind of a dick move, too, i really am sorry. i don’t know how to.. i’ll buy you dinner, or something. to make it up to you.

[a prolonged pause]

[haltingly]  that—that was just a one-time thing, though. just.. just in case you were wondering. it won’t happen again. 

[another pause, and the sound of him shifting in his place]

so, um. yeah. i just wanted to apologise, ‘cause you were gone before i could get the chance. call me when you hear this? if you want to, that is.

⠀☆⠀00:03 AM

i guess.. i guess you’re busy, or something. sorry. i know it’s late. you’re probably asleep. or working? renjun told me you’re on night shifts now.. did it slip your mind with me? or maybe you’ve told me already, i don’t know. i think my memory’s been getting worse lately.  [a scoffed laugh]  fuck, maybe you’re with—you know. someone else? that’d be fine, obviously, i know we’re not.. yeah. hell, i was the one who said we weren’t gonna be exclusive.

[a pause]

i haven’t been, um. seeing anyone else, though. not since that last time. it’s just you. but if you were, then.. anyway. i heard jeno tell you his friend was single the other day. that jaemin guy? and that restaurant downtown would be nice for a night out, tonight. they do that salad you like, and—and the side dishes. 

[a second pause. he takes a breath in]

i think.. i think i need a drink. text me once you listen to this?

⠀☆⠀11:58 PM

[sounding a little breathless]  hi! i think im going to fill your inbox up at this point. maybe the reception’s bad in the taxi. but anyway—i had fun tonight. again. i.. i missed you, you know?  [a giggle]  wow, i think i feel a little light-headed. in a good way, obviously. i almost forgot what it was like with you. oh! and the actual reason i called—you left your hoodie here. better come grab it soon, or i’ll have it for myself. you can never have too many clothes.  [he stops for a moment]  does that sound too.. ah, nevermind. i hope you get home alright. talk to you tomorrow, baby.

⠀☆⠀10:49 PM

renjun asked me what we were doing. i knew he probably knew—or at least, like, had an idea of what was going on—but it still surprised me. nearly choked on my drink when he sprung it on me out of nowhere. i thought he just wanted to get lunch. i told him the truth—that we’re just.. messing around. he’s not gonna tell any of the others, so don’t worry. he thought—  [a stilted laugh]  he thought that we were together. but.. well. we’re not, obviously.

[a pause. he mumbles something to himself, cuts himself off, then tries again]

did jeno give you jaemin’s number? he had that gross grin on his face the other night, that same one he did when he kept trying to set chenle up on a blind date. and you never did tell me if you were out with him the other night. not that it, like, matters. but still.

[a second, longer pause]

anyway. i think i’m gonna go to bed. can we get dinner soon? i’ll pay.

⠀☆⠀11:18 PM

hey.  [a small pause]  i don’t know why i’m calling, really. i’m just at my apartment. watching reruns and drinking through that wine chenle gave me—which is awful, by the way. i think he was just trying to get it out of his fridge by offloading it onto me.

that movie you told me you watched all the time back in uni was on earlier. i would’ve called then, but my phone was dead, so i kept it on. it was pretty good, actually. kinda.. sappy. but in a good way. romantic, i don’t know. romcoms have never really been my thing, but i know they’re yours, so.. yeah.  [a tired laugh, and a pause. the tv is faintly audible in the background]  i didn’t know i could get wine tipsy this early. maybe that’s why i called out of the blue? ah, i don’t know. i’ll go now, though—this episode’s just starting to get interesting. let’s talk later.

⠀☆⠀01:21 AM

[he’s yelling, almost, struggling to be heard over the beat of the song blasting through the speakers]  yah, why did you dip? i was—i was looking forward to tonight, you know. jeno is boring, and mark is a lightweight, and jisung steps on my feet when we dance. it would’ve been way better with you here. and i miss you, baby. they need to fire the DJ here, because they’re seriously awful. i might just ditch the rest and come find you instead.

[he stops, considering it]

actually.. yeah. you won’t mind, will you? yah, pick up, c’mon. call me back, ‘cause i’m on my way to your apartment. i’ll buy a bottle of malibu on the way so it won’t taste as awful when we throw it up later, and you can set up that speaker chenle got you last year, because i know you probably still have it stuffed in a closet somewhere.  [his voice returns to normal volume, and the music is abruptly significantly quieter]  get your dancing shoes on, baby. and.. take your shirt off?  [he giggles, and his laughter interrupts his goodbye]  i’ll be there soon!

⠀☆⠀02:17 AM

fuck. can’t you just—can you pick up? please? i need it, i need you to hear this. i feel like i’m going insane, it’s fucked up.  [a pause, and a slightly shaky breath]  why did i say that? why did i say no labels? fucking.. fucking mark and shots and that bruise from that fucking counter. i’ve drank too much, and i hope i forget i’ve said this in the morning, but i—i need to know. it’s just you for me. that time with that guy was stupid, and i should’ve kicked him out as soon as i woke up, but i knew about brunch and i knew you’d be coming over and i was feeling petty so i just thought.. i thought you’d get jealous, i don’t know. it was stupid. i’m sorry for lying, baby. i didn’t mean to. is it—is it just me for you too? did you save jaemin’s number? did you text him? please tell me you didn’t. he doesn’t know anything about you, not like i do. i still have your hoodie, and renjun thinks i need to get my shit together, and chenle nearly threw up on my shoes on the way out the bar, and i just.. i want you. i want you so bad, it’s killing me.

[a long pause. his mumbling is inaudible]

call me back when you hear this.

[youngbeezer]

hi!! can I please request something?

going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?

thank you! 💗.

A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)

Word Count: 2940

Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!

masterlist || join my taglist

These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...

I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.

About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.

Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.

It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.

Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.

I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.

For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.

Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.

“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.

Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”

Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.

Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.

Yeah this was gonna be a long week.

…

After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.

Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.

Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.

Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.

“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.

“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.

“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.

Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”

I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.

…

Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.

“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.

Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”

Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.

“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.

“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.

“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.

At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.

Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.

“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.

“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.

Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.

“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.

Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.

“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.

My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.

“Well… I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.

My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.

“Are you serious?” I whisper out.

“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.

My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.

Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.

“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”

My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.

“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.

Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean… yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.

I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.

“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.

“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.

“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”

Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”

I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”

Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.

“I fucking knew it!”

“Aw you guys look so cute.”

“Bout time.”

“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”

I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.

“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.

Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.

“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.

I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”

“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.

My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.

“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.

When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.

Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.

“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.

Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees

Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,

@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss

[cicada-bones]

Could we get a snippet of The Warrior and The Wildfire please?

Hi! so first of all im so sorry for leaving this in my inbox unanswered for like 2 months, second of all i have graduated!!!! So now ive got some free time!!!! Extra long snippet for you guys as a treat (and perhaps a bit of a bribe lmao) for being so patient and nice to me ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Rowan spent the better part of dinner trying to convince Aelin to say something, anything, about what their next step was. How he could help, what she was doing with the money she get from the bank that day, even just what she planned for them tomorrow morning.

But Aelin just smiled that pretty smile of hers, and munched on a spare bit of toast. Apparently, all she could cook was breakfast. Rowan had to keep himself from smiling, and remembering all the ruined meals she had made back at Mistward. Those few nights they had spent around the fire, beneath the trees. He really should have tried harder to teach her how to cook.

Rowan would never regret coming to Rifthold, even though it had been against her direct orders. But he wished he could spirit her away from here, from this dank city, crawling with people and shrouded in the scent of monsters. Wished he could be back in the wild again, where the air felt clean and open all around him. Where his magic wasn’t crushed deep within him, so tightly that it made his skin crawl.

He had slowly gotten used to the feeling, though it was still uncomfortable. And every now and then, tremors would still wrack his muscles, making him shiver in discomfort. But they were getting less and less.

He could adapt, he could endure.

Aedion kept silent through most of his cajoling, either still nursing a grudge from their fight this morning, or already accepted it as a lost cause.

Aelin had decided to keep them in the dark, and Rowan would just have to figure out how to live with it. He just wished that he could explain to her that she didn’t need to bear this burden on her own, that the reason he was here wasn’t only because he wanted to be. She deserved help, and so much more than he could offer her.

So once again, they separated after dinner, Aedion moving into his bedroom while Aelin pulled Rowan into hers. Again, he grumbled as she insisted that he share her bed, but he put up far less resistance than he knew he should.

Aelin went to wash her face in the bathroom, and Rowan turned to the window, stripping off his weapons and extra clothing. It was dark in the bedroom, so he knew no one could see in. But still, he scanned the nearby streets and rooftops, watching and listening for anything untoward.

Of course, he didn’t notice anything. But when had Lorcan ever been known to leave a trace?

Rowan sighed and turned to slide between Aelin’s cloud-soft sheets, forcing down the guilt that pooled in his stomach. He knew it was a mistake to let her get so close, to let their scents get even more tangled up in each other. But he just couldn’t help it.

It was an inexpressible comfort, to have her so close, almost wrapped in his arms. It made him settle, feeling the undeniable truth of her safety.

Or it would settle him, if she wasn’t so insistent on provoking him with her scandalous clothes every night.

This time, the nightgown was a delicate blue. The soft silk hem stroked over the tops of her breasts like petals, and those paper-thin straps barely held the dress in place on her shoulders.

So narrow, so light, so easily brushed out of place –

Rowan shook himself, barely keeping his gaze from dragging down further, and glimpsing what awaited below. But that meant he couldn’t miss the brazen confidence of Aelin’s smile. As if she knew he was fighting a battle doomed to loss.

Aelin slipped into place beside him in bed, the silk billowing over her chest as she turned on her side to face him. “So, what do you think? Pink, or blue? Personally, I’m more fond of the pink, but I figured I’d test this one out, see where your preferences might lie.”

Rowan just clenched his jaw, scowling at her.

Aelin laughed at him.

···

 Within a few moments, she was asleep, her breathing calm and even, eyelids fluttering with night visions. But once again, Rowan lay awake. Trying in vain to calm his blood.

It kept seeming to get worse and worse, more and more difficult. He had wanted her in Wendlyn, during those many nights they had spent together in the fortress. But his ties to Maeve had kept the desire in check for him. He had wanted her during those nights they had traveled together back from Doranelle, especially that first night, the night he had given her that tattoo. But abstaining, keeping himself and what he wanted in check, hadn’t been so difficult.

Now, it felt like trying to move mountains with his bare hands.

And seeing that ghost of Lyria today, seeing that remnant, that reminder of her, it had pulled all of his fear and doubt right back into place.

Hearing Lyria in his head again, those screams of agony…it had been far more complex than just pain. There was so much guilt there. And not that old, familiar guilt of his unforgivable failure. It was new guilt. Fresh and hot and roiling in his stomach.

The guilt of having fallen for another. And seeing Lyria, or at least this facsimile of her, and not being cleaved in two, not being rent through with agony – had him stunned in place. Unable to move.

Not with pain, but with shame. It was only the echo of a remembered hurt, one he had held on to for far, far too long. But one that Rowan knew he should still be holding on to. One that he knew should weigh on him until his deathday. And it honestly scared him more than he could admit, scared him senseless, scared him motionless, that this wouldn’t be true.

He had betrayed her once again. Betrayed Lyria in death, even. And Rowan had no idea how he could possibly atone for such a deep, yet wholly unexpected, betrayal.

And then Aelin had taken him to the theater. She had taken him to this small sanctuary from her past and she had reminded him of just how beautiful she was. And not the beauty of her body, but the beauty of her very soul.

And Rowan knew that he couldn’t help but love her. No matter who it betrayed, no matter if it was a tearing of his own soul, of the partner of his heart, of the only person he expected waited for him in the Afterworld.

It was like the movements of the tide, the phases of the moon, the rising of the sun in the east and setting in the west. Uncontrollable, unstoppable. He couldn’t help but love her.

And gods, he wanted to kiss her.

But Rowan just closed his eyes and turned over in bed, forcing himself into an unsettled, disquieted sleep.

Until, in the deepest part of the night, he felt the covers rustle slightly as Aelin silently slipped out of bed and across room, heading right for her black armor.

[childishfluff]

(im gonna be sending a few seperate asks since theyre seperate thoughts/ideas, sorry for any sort of inbox spam!!) ur pet regressor tommy fic led me into a whole wormhole of many different ideas.. esp abt who else is a pet regressor!!

- wilbur (cat regressor!! also very relaxed, he *will* just sleep on phil or techno's lap for hours on end. mostly nonverbal, but will meow every now nd again. mostly communicates through actions. he can purr. doesn't drop often, but when he does, it's due to extreme stress- meaning he can be pretty sensitive while he's in catspace.)

- tubbo (puppy regressor, but definitely more of a relaxed dog aside from the amnt he communicates, especially through barking, whimpering, and soft "awooo!!"'s. loves snuggles. sometimes, he's scared to come of as annoying, so he's hesitant to slip into pupspace, normally needing someone to help him along and tell him that it's ok for him to be a puppy, nd that he's a very very good boy.)

- karl (kitten regressor!!!! he's either really sleepy or really playful/energetic, and he has no in between on that. he meows.. so much.. all he kno is meow meow!! *very* sensitive while dropped, and as such, he needs a lot of validation and love. will get extremely upset with himself if he notices that anyone is even *slightly* mad/irritated by him.)

- nick (sapnap) (PUPPY REGRESSOR 100000%!!! he's very very loud and extremely playful!!! he can be entertained for *hours* w literally anything, especially toys like chew bones. doesn't really drop too often, but when he does, he drops very very far. something that can trigger his drops is when people compare his traits/actions to those of a dog because he just goes yes!! yes me!!!! dog!!! me!!!! also he loves karl *so* much because karl absolutely spoils him rotten when he's in pupspace.)

- ranboo (kitty regressor!! similar to karl, he can be really sensitive while he's dropped. entirely nonverbal, opting for actions instead. he's a mix of both playful and sleepy. when he sleeps, he curls his entire body up into a circle nd kneads at whatever he's sleeping on until he falls asleep.)

- dream (cat regressor!! sleeps a lot when he's dropped, hes just vv tired. mimics patches, and loves to follow her around/act like she does. even bases his catgear around patches, with tabby-colored cat ears and an outfit based off of similar colors. drops very easily, mostly voluntarily.)

those r the ones i can think of now.. id love to know ypur opinions/interpretations of them!! -🌻

OKAY I’M GONNA GO THROUGH THESE ONE BY ONE, AND SHARE MY THOUGHTS+OTHER POSSIBLE HCS/FIC SCENARIOS, SO LONG POST WARNING Y’ALL

1. Cat Regressor! Wilbur

yes yes yes, I wouldn’t of thought of it myself but the idea is absolutely adorable! I’d totally write that, with like handler/cg!niki in addition to those you listed. And the idea of him using it for stress and therefore being sensitive in catspace? like, that’s amazing. 

I could imagine a fic where someone pushes him to regress for fun for once, but he feels like it’s stupid to purposely act like a cat when he doesn’t need it? They don’t pressure him, or anything, but he ends up slipping because he feels safe. and he realizes not only does it help with stress, but it just makes him more happy!

also imagine him slipping around tommy for whatever reason, and just wanting to sleep while Tommy’s trying to do something fun. So he’s dragging around a sleepy kitten and waking him up every two seconds, and it’s really soft and adorable and ends up with Wilbur sleeping somewhat on Tommy so that he can’t get up and he’s like ‘you’re so lucky I love you, dude.’ awww I need to write a fic- no promises but y’know

2.Puppy Regressor!Tubbo

someone actually requested a puppy regressors!tubbo and tommy fic that I’m having trouble writing, like it sounds cute but it’s kinda hard bc I’ve never written puppyspace before. I actually decided to start over but I’ma keep trying on that. 

anyways, imagine like, Ranboo or Tommy helping him slip over a discord call! Needing help to regress is something that I understand (I age regress, but I haven’t in a while due to this issue), so I could probably write Tubbo in that position well. Needing to be coaxed and told that it’s okay to be a cute lil puppy, like that’s adorable! 

3. Kitten Regressor!Karl

tbh I tried to write kitten!karl but I was half asleep and gave up, I need to get back to that hjsiksja. Like I specialize in writing sensitive regressors w/anxiety over someone being mad at them, so I could definitely pull this off. 

and the idea of him being a talkative kitty is sooo cute! Like I can imagine something along the lines of this conversation between him and a handler/cg:

“What do you want?”

“Meowww”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Meow?” (little head tilt and innocent cute eyes)

“Do you want cuddles?”

*excited meows! and he goes and cuddles up in their lap bc yay, they understood him!*

and imagine kitten!karl playing w/Quackity! very very adorable concept

4. Puppy Regressor! Sapnap

okay okay so I don’t watch sapnap really but this is still adorable! Like the whole ‘me, puppy? yes.’ thing is soooo cute! Imagine George or Dream just forgetting that’s a trigger and making a joke about how one of his mannerisms reminds them of a puppy and suddenly! There’s a puppy to take care of!

and karl spoiling him sounds like something he’d do hjsiksjsa. I can’t really add much on here bc idk much about him/his content past the smp but this is so cute! Maybe I’ll watch a few of his videos and attempt writing him bc I keep getting requests for him

5. Kitten Regressor! Ranboo

yes, I was already thinking about this tbh! Like I’ve written him as a little and it’s kinda similar, he’s sensitive, and he’s less verbal the littler he gets. As a kitten, I can easily picture him just being quiet. 

I imagine that he’s really pouty because of this, because he doesn’t know how to communicate otherwise, so this might confuse anyone who may take care of him. 

“Why are you pouting? Do you want cuddles? Food? Do you wanna play?” 

and he just doesn’t reply bc he’s a kitten and he can’t talk so it’s an endless cycle of guess and check until they reach the right answer, and it’s really funny to watch. I can also imagine that he giggles a lot. Like he’s not verbal or anything, and he doesn’t giggle a lot but sometimes it happens! and if you make him giggle while in kittenspace then you did something right!

it makes everyone happy when he giggles and it’s really soft and cute! I definitely think I’ll write a fic with kitten!ranboo in it, at some point eventually, I think! 

6. Cat Regressor! Dream

awwwww- I didn’t even consider the possibility of this but awwww. Imagine Wilbur and Dream in catspace together, just sleeping and cuddling while basically all the other kittens are playing and being hyper. And everyone’s trying to get them to play but they’re sleepy! (ofc they end up playing anyways bc their friends are adorable and convincing but y’know)

and I really like the idea of him mimicking patches! I’ve seen a few pet regresors say that they mimick/copy their pets so it kinda feels realistic and likely! and plus, it’s really cute. 

and since his regression is voluntary, I can imagine him like one minute, just chillin w/george and sapnap and going ‘what if- what if I just went *cat mode*’ and he tries to hint to his friends that he wants to slip but they’re not getting it so it’s kinda frustrating for him but funny for the readers to see play out bc George and Sapnap are being completely oblivious to everything. Hjsiksja that’d be funny

Thank you for sending this it, like seriously! It was really fun to go through and talk about these, I might make additional headcannon lists once I’m actually awake tomorrow bc I shouldn’t be up rn but yeah, I just wanted to go through and respond to this! <3

[weepingvoidpenguin]

The Gods’ Blessing (Pt. 5)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4,

Summary: In your world, everyone had a soulmate. That’s just how things went. Everyone had some sort of Indicator that their other half was out there, be it telepathy or a red string that connected these two strangers. Yours was one unspoken of, in fact, you’d never heard anyone say that they had the same Indicator as you. And because of this rarity, you longed to meet the person who could gift you with what you lacked, maybe not so much so to be with the person but more so to finally see what others took for granted. Yet, you held onto the hope that one of your best friends was your Meant-To-Be but he has his eyes on another girls and the little green monster slowly engulfs you at the deterioration of your hope.

Warning: Like 1 F-Bomb, angst, reader being reckless

Word Count: 4.3K

Author’s Note: I’m literally so sorry this took so long to come out but I lost motivation to write and randomly got it back and now I know where I want to take this story so I’m dedicating some time to this series again. ALSO I wanted to thank EVERYONE from the bottom of my heart who has asked to be tagged or complimented my writing it means SO MUCH and helps me continue to write. Everyone who has requested to be tagged will be; I’m just dumb and didn’t know I could privately respond to asks and I didn’t want to spam my page with answers so... yeah I know, I’m dumb lol ENJOY

(CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO FIND THE ORIGINAL GIF FOR MY STORY BECAUSE WTF I SPENT LITERALLY 30 MINUTES LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE BUT COULDN’T FIND IT AND I USED THE SAME TAGS AS ALWAYS AND YES THE GIFS ARE STILL THERE SOMEONE HELP PLS AND THANK YOU) (AND ALSO LITERALLY CAN’T ADD A READ MORE LINE BECAUSE I COPY AND PASTE FROM WORD SO IM SORRY TUMBLR IS JUST TRYING ME TODAY)

  You let the thunderous knocks at your door rack for nearly five minutes before you trudged out of bed with your blanket still encased around you. You kept your eyes glued to your carpet, watching as your feet slid along the floor on your way to the door. Your hand hovered over the knob as hesitation ceased your actions. 

  What if it was Peter at your door? Your heart twisted at the thought and you couldn’t stop how your hand shot out and grasped the handle. Damn how your body could betray you. 

  You noticed how your actions slowly became less your own over the past few days. Naturally, you could sit, lay, stand, eat, drink and etc. on command but whenever the thought of the brunette boy shattered its way through the walls you’d created, your hands flew towards your phone every single time. You had desired Peter, desired for him to reach out to you and clear the air, answer the questions consuming your mind, just talk to you in any way. Maybe his words wouldn’t make you feel better but at least his voice would soothe the storm brewing in your stomach.

  You had skipped school the last two days, claiming to have a fever to your mother who, as a doctor, knew better. But she was an understanding woman and gave you the time she suspected you needed to deal with whatever was bothering you. She’d tried to get you to talk but each attempt was met with silence and isolation so she left you be, only occasionally leaving a warm drink on your nightstand.

  You hadn’t just isolated yourself from your mother though; you’d completely disregarded the messages you were getting from MJ and Ned. You tried to keep away from your phone, in all honesty. You wanted to disconnect, to just feel what you felt and ride the wave until the waters soothed themselves. But with the amount of times you’d checked your inbox for a new message from Peter or merely went back to read old texts that used to bring a smile to your face, you’d say disconnecting had failed miserably. In fact, every time you checked your phone only made the sinking feeling in your stomach liven with a fresh ache and you’d lay right back down.

  Your window remained locked now. For the most part. Some nights, for about an hour or so, you’d unlatch it, idiotically hoping that somehow Peter would be aware of your actions and know that you, in a moment of weakness, wanted to see him again. That your silent invitation had been noticed and he would come running to you. But, of course, it didn’t work like that.

  You were released from the deep constraints of your thoughts with another set of rapping on the door. You sighed and brought yourself to look through the peephole only to be met with an eye already glaring through it. You let out a quiet shriek at the expression strewn about MJ’s face and slowly unlocked the door.

  She didn’t wait for you to open it though, taking matters into her own hands and flinging the entryway open to storm through and slam shut behind her. You stood frozen, watching as she glowered with her arms crossed over her chest. You two stood in silence like that for a few moments and she continued to stare, waiting for you to give an explanation for your behavior for the past few days.

  She knew better than to think you were sick. Even when you were sick you always messaged her back but this mood was something she had yet to experience in all her years of friendship with you.

  “So?” She practically snarled and you gulped.

  You scanned her up and down. She was entirely on the defense here. Her arms crossed, foot tapping on the ground and the disapproving look of the century plastered on her face all scrambled together to serve you one very pissed off MJ.

  She waited for a response, not breaking her composure for even a fraction of a second. The anger radiating off her body was more than you could handle in the moment, especially when it was accompanied with the sorrow encasing your very being.

  Her expression softened in the slightest as she studied you, noting how you couldn’t meet her gaze, not that it had been a warm one to begin with but still. Your hair was in shambles and the deep, dark circles under your eyes conveyed more than you were willing to bring yourself to admit. And when you finally looked up at her she took your desperate embrace with ease; all of her anger diminishing as she held you.

  “Hey,” She soothed, running her hand up and down your back through the blanket, “what’s going on?”

  You looked up at her, only slightly pulling back from the hug, “There’s something I have to tell you,” ~   That first day that you had kicked Peter out of your apartment he didn’t go on patrol that night. He was too distraught. Instead, he trudged home with his head hung low and his thoughts drowning him in regret.

  He’d been weak that afternoon. He couldn’t help it. It’d been so long since you two had hung out together alone, aside from the rare occasion last week, and so much had happened within that time. 

  That first night, when the two of you kissed and the stars had come to life for the first time in his existence, everything in those few moments had been perfect; no, better than perfect. The world had burst to life under your touch and suddenly his years of yearning and longing for you had made sense. The world had been right and just for once. For one goddamn minute.

  And then, because of that moment that he hungered to relive again, he’d lost you. Maybe permanently. 

  How could he have been so stupid? How could he have just given in to the desire pining for your touch? He couldn’t have helped it. The way you looked, the smile gleaming on your face, the way you were straddling and hovering above him; it all called out to him. You called out to him. His eyes traced down from your eyes to your neck and then lower to the bit of exposed cleavage in his face. He blushed in the moment, feeling guilty for letting his mind wander to those treacherous places that caused his imagination to spiral. And, oh, how his thoughts spiraled. 

  That need to touch you, to hold you, to kiss you, to be with you had made him weak in the moment. But had it really been so wrong to give in? After all, you are his soulmate and if it were okay to touch anyone the way his body had urged him to, why not the person that he was meant for and was meant for him?

  No, it hadn’t wrong to give in because from the look that glazed your eyes and elicited your body when you connected, he knew you wanted to give in too. He knew you wanted to be with him just as much as he wanted to be with you. 

  And that’s why he wanted to go over that day. He had planned to tell you everything. He even had his suit in his backpack to show you but then it all went wrong. He’d prematurely exposed the truth but in a way that made it seem secretive. He hadn’t meant to be secretive; he was just scared.

  Plus, he finally had the girl he’d been working to get for the past few months and he had to just throw that all away. At that point, his feeling for Liz were real just miniscule compared to the ones he attempted to drown out for you. Not to mention, Liz liked Peter as he was without the hero complex but (Y/N) liked Spider-Man, a literal superhero. 

  Maybe that had been the reason that (Y/N) had kicked him out so quickly. Was she disappointed that her mysterious hero had turned out to be none other than Peter Parker? Was being Peter really that bad in her eyes? No, (Y/N) loved Peter . . . platonically. 

  But Liz . . . Liz liked Peter, not Spider-Man. (Y/N) didn’t want her shy best friend, she wanted her mysterious hero. (Y/N) didn’t like Peter for who he was, only who he presented himself to be. Her feelings were solely based on a hidden character under the red and blue suit. She didn’t want Peter Parker. She couldn’t want Peter Parker. Peter Parker wasn’t enough for her and he never would be.

  He shook his head at the thoughts, hating how his conclusion could tug at his chest so fiercely. Nonetheless, he let himself fester on that idea until it became his mentality.

  (Y/N) was not interested in Peter. ~   You could hardly communicate everything that had happened over the course of the last few weeks to MJ with all the tears and sobs interrupting the story. She caught onto the gist of it, though. Peter was Spider-Man, Spider-Man was her soulmate, Peter was with Liz, etc. 

  She let you cry until you fell asleep that night and she stayed with you the next day so she could force you to go to school, even if it was Friday. 

  Her alarm woke you up the next morning and you groaned as you shoved your pillow over your ear to drown out the sound. MJ rolled around, cutting the alarm off and cuddling closer to you before shoving you out of bed.

  “What the hell?” You asked, reaching out for the pillow that was pried from your hold. 

  MJ held the cushion just out of your reach and dangled it in the air, “Good morning!” She cheerily shouted, very unlike herself.

  You groaned in response and shoved the blanket over your head just for that to be ripped away as well. “Get up, you’re coming to school,”

  A huff escaped your lips as the sunlight shone even from behind closed eyelids. You wanted to argue and stay home but you would just get hell for it and end up going to school anyway so you used that time of argument to get ready instead. MJ had woken you up early enough to let you shower, as you hadn’t recently, and made breakfast while you got ready.

  In the stillness of your room, you observed your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were still puffy from the crying and there was a slight dry rash from wiping your nose so much but other than that, you looked practically normal. You ran your hands down your body, hating that you put in a little extra effort in your looks to catch Peter’s attention. In the midst of shamefully admiring yourself, you caught a glimpse of the pictures tacked onto the wall behind you. You whirled around and your gaze landed on the brightest of them all. A picture of the four of you sitting in the grass, MJ on one side of you and Peter on the other. You removed the tack from the photo and smiled down at it. The picture had been taken the first time you all hung out together, the same day you’d told MJ about your feelings for Peter only to be met with a knowing look from her. She could read you like a book that woman. 

  “Hey, breakfast is ready-” MJ burst through the door and cut herself off at the sight of you. “What’s that?”

  “Do you remember this photo?” You asked, holding it up for her to see.   Her eyes softened and she had a small smile, “I have this same picture in a drawer somewhere,”

  “Do you remember what I told you that day?”

  MJ looked up at you, her eyebrows furrowed as she waited for an explanation.

  “That’s the day I told you that I thought I liked Peter,” She looked down at the photo and handed it back to you, “It’s like . . . since the beginning it’s been him. It’s always been him.” You placed the photo back in its original place, “And now I know why,”

  Later that day in the cafeteria, the table had been full of tension. MJ throwing glares at Peter, Peter brushing them off his shoulder, your head crammed into a textbook, Ned trying to break the tension and Liz having no idea what the hell was going on. 

  “You guys are so cute together,” MJ cheerily spoke up after a while, looking at Peter and Liz’s interlocked fingers.

  “Thanks,” Peter stated bluntly, his gaze fixated on MJ.

  “I just didn’t think you would end up dating a guy like that, Liz, but now that I’m looking at it, it makes sense,”

  “A guy like what?” Liz raised an eyebrow, concerned there was something about Peter that she didn’t know.

  “A liar-”

  “MJ, can you help me with this equation?” You interjected, hoping she hadn’t heard what MJ said.

  “I don’t know why you’d need my help, you’re the best one here at math,” she slyly retorted, not once breaking her eye contact with Peter.

  “I’ll help you,” Ned spoke up and the both of you exchanged worried glances. It suddenly dawned on you that Ned probably already knows Peter’s secret; which means, he already knew about you as well.

  “Anyway,” Liz spoke up after a few tense moments of silence, “I’m throwing a party tonight at my place, everyone’s invited!” 

  “And why would we-”

  “Sounds fun! We’ll be there!” You spoke up quickly, glaring at MJ to shut her up. She rolled her eyes but sat back in her chair and complied.

  You’d kept your head down for most of the lunch period but had to snap your attention up to keep MJ tamed. Your gaze wandered over to the direction you felt a pull coming from and was surprised when you met Peter’s gaze. You were almost frozen, caught in a mixture of crying, panicking and keeping it together. Still, you couldn’t pry your attention from Peter so you dwelled in it instead. 

  He looked tired. The dark circles under his eyes were more apparent than usual and his hair appeared to lack a bit of life, the curls on his face falling flat rather than their normal bounciness. You let yourself study the man before you and that’s when it happened again.

  Instead of his normal physique, an outline of his person took form and the wounds on his body glowed to catch your attention. He had a few cuts and scrapes here and there, some bruises on his shins and forearms, not to mention the busted eyebrow that you’d failed to notice under what you assumed was makeup. You squinted your eyes at this and Peter seemed to catch on to what was happening. He grew uncomfortable under your gaze and forced yourself to retract it, fighting the urge to reach out your hand and place it over the split skin on his face. Not that he’d appreciate it.

  You sighed and closed the textbook before shoving it in your bag and standing up seconds before the bell rang. MJ followed suit and walked you to your next class, knowing you usually take the route with Peter and punched your shoulder lightly when it was time for her to go.

  “Meet at my locker after school? I need help picking an outfit and we can stop by your place to pick some stuff up,” 

  MJ nodded in agreement and you turned to enter the classroom but walked into a hastily walking Peter. You reached out your hand to steady yourself and grabbed his forearm which, unfortunately, was not covered in fabric.

  The warmth in your fingertips soon sprawled all over your body and you could moan at the ease it brought along with it. The ache in your heart subsided and the strength of the pull towards him tripled until you really were being shoved against him, your chest pressed against his own and his arms wrapped around you as if to keep you there.

  You wanted to pull away but the fact that Peter was even holding you right now soothed the agony in your bones and you needed this for just a few seconds more. You let the sensation overtake you, submitting yourself to its enticing comfort and when Peter’s hands gripped the back of your shirt tighter to pull you deeper into him, you let him.

  This was right. Being with him was right. How could it not be? How could being with your soulmate be wrong? The two of you were literally made for each other as were all soulmates but there resided something deeper between both of you that caused a very physical gravitational pull to one another. Though you’d heard of instances similar to that, you’d never heard of it being physical, only an emotional pull. And that physical pull somehow forced you two into each other’s arms where you were fighting the urge to give in.

  With the little strength that you could muster, you pried yourself from him and you exchanged a worried glance with each other, “Did you-”

  “Feel that? Yeah,” he said, bewildered at what just happened.

  “So, you didn’t-”

  “Pull you? No. And you didn’t-”

  “Suddenly forgive you and throw myself into your arms?” You spoke with venom and cocked your head to the side, the little distance between you allowing some of your anger to return. “No,”

  Peter wanted to roll his eyes and brush off the comment, he really did but he could see through you. The pain you tried to hide was laid barren for him, he couldn’t miss it if he tried. It shouted for his attention, demanding his explanation and wanting nothing more than to dissipate and leave you at peace. But he couldn’t grant you that. He couldn’t bring himself to beg for you when you didn’t even want him; at least, not the real him.

  You finally walked away and took your usual seat in class, forcing your gaze down so you wouldn’t accidentally make eye contact with Peter as he took his place next you. You chuckled at that. ~   Liz’s house buzzed with energy, most of the people already arrived and under some kind of influence. You had to give it to her, she knew how to throw a party. Not that you’d been to very many of them considering MJ was your best friend.  

  MJ appeared beside you with two cups in her hand and offered you one, “Oh, I figured you were going to chug them down simultaneously,”

  “Don’t tempt me.” She laughed and you took a gulp from yours, finishing it off in a few seconds, “Maybe you would like to do that, though,”

  You smiled sheepishly, “I’m gonna get another one,”

  “Make sure you leave some for everybody else,” she hollered over the music.

  You giggled and sauntered over to the table, ignoring the beginnings of a lure coming from your left. You plucked one of the cups up and brought the brim to your lips, letting the liquid burn its way down your throat and rejoined MJ.

  “Hey, so I was thinking,” you started, keeping your focus anywhere other than where it wanted to be, “where did you hear that story about the gods and the stars and all that?”

  “Huh?” She shouted over the music and despite the volume of the noise, you could still filter out Peter’s voice through it all.

  You grabbed MJ’s arm and pulled her towards the door, “Outside!” You shouted and she followed.

  Once the fresh breeze hit your face, you took a deep breath in, attempting to clear out any negative emotions. MJ took your hand and led you away from the front of the house where quite a few people were still crowding around and settled on the rooftop. She grabbed a ladder off the floor and held the ladder while you climbed up.

  “What were you trying to say?” She asked once you two had gotten comfortable.

  “I was asking about where you heard the story about being chosen by the Gods,” you stated, taking a sip from the cup and already feeling a slight warmth in your cheeks. This cup was definitely stronger than the previous one.

  She cocked her head a little and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

  “You know! About the Gods’ choosing a few special spirits to have this intense love or something,”

  “What are you talking about?” 

  “Like, about my Indicator and the stars and my soulmate,”

  Her eyebrow remained raised in your direction.

  Now it was your turn to get confused, “The story you told me when we were all at your house watching movies. The day I went on the first date with Brad,”

  “Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she admitted, a concerned look on her face.

  “Yes, you do! You’re the one that told me that story, how could you not remember it?” you practically yelled. “When I got mad because of Liz and Peter and went to your room, that’s when you told me!”

  “I remember you being bothered but I figured you needed a breather so I let you have it,”

  Was it MJ that had told you? You scoffed, yes, of course it was. Who else would it be? She was the one that walked into the room and comforted you.   “MJ, stop playing,” you scolded.

  “(Y/N) . . . are you feeling okay?” she asked and you glared at her in response. “Dude, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  You shot up from your spot and struggled to find footing so you raised your arms to balance yourself. You had drunk a little more than you thought but managed to steady yourself. MJ held out a hand to you in caution, raising them to catch you.

  “Something’s not right,” you said, taking a small step back from your friend. You were certain it was MJ in the room with you, the memory was clear as day.

  The reason you had even brought it up in the first place was because you wanted to know where she heard the lore from considering you’d never heard anything like it. You had been ashamed of your Indicator because you’d never come to know of any other person who had the same one as you ever. Not even in the history books. It was just completely unheard of. So, why would MJ know the legend? 

  “(Y/N), sit down.” MJ ordered, her words concrete.

  “No, no, no, no, this doesn’t make sense,” you spoke aloud, your mind trying to understand the events of that night. You took half a step back from MJ as if the added distance would deny her truth. And it was her truth. You could always tell when MJ was lying, years of friendship could attest to that but her words were genuine and her confusion was too.

  “Stop moving, (Y/N),” she growled, slowly coming closer to you.

  You created the same distance from you as before and she stopped her movements altogether, her eyes glued to the back of your foot. You tried to wrack your brain around it but no matter how you tried to understand it, it just didn’t make sense. How would MJ know the lore for your Indicator when you’d studied extensively to try and find something-anything to make you feel less alone in your path. How had she just randomly come across such information and why hadn’t you asked her right then and there where she heard it from? 

  “(Y/N)!” You heard your name shouted from behind you and whipped around, the force of the action causing you to tip over the edge of the roof and your heart stopped as you watched MJ jump out to catch you.

  The fall was quick but scarier than any rollercoaster you’d been on. It elicited the same sensations but held more finality to it. 

  “(Y/N)!” MJ screamed from above but you kept your eyes glued to the ground when a figure swung into your line of sight and clung onto you in midair before landing on a patch of grass on the side of the house. 

  The action had knocked the wind out of you and you struggled to regain your breath, your eyes glued to your feet and how they rested against the ground. MJ flew down the ladder and raced with Ned to get to your side. She hadn’t even reached it before she started yelling at you.

  “Are you fucking crazy?” She yelled, kneeling by your side and encasing your face in her hands, failing to draw your attention to her.

  Your body shook uncontrollably, the fear from before just now catching up to you. But it wasn’t the fear from nearly dying. It was from whoever the hell you spoke to in MJ’s house. 

  “Can’t you see she’s scared?” Peter yelled at MJ and you winced. You’d never heard Peter yell like that before.

  Peter picked you up and placed you in his lap, his hands attempted to center you in on him but you merely looked through him. You were out of it and you couldn’t bring yourself to come back to the present.

  “(Y/N),” Peter whispered, worry and fear laced in his tone, “Are you okay?”   It took a minute of letting the fear make its course through you before you zeroed in on Peter’s expression. It was the warmth coming from his hands that brought you back.

  “Who was she?”

Tag List: @the-ducks-umbrella @free-pool-trash @wherewecomealive @eridanuswave @watson-emma @imjuliabtw @powerstrangerdacre @chess-anon @le-yona @dear-selena @becausewelie @myr5heart @michaels-endtime @lastupidebichette @yetmeema @bisexualfangirlsblog @akabaneyuriko @allthings-sandy @foreverpark @courtmarie2016 @maya-t-13 @copxland04 @lostinwonderland314 @theolwebshooter @alainabooks143 @dark-night-sky-99 @shameless-dani @memequeend @chewymoustachio @thewayilookatbacon @rvgrsbrns @jaimewho @sexysamsungl @stitchers-in-stitches @spideyyeet @mira-9-rose @racewife2004 @eternallyanxiousandstressed @lost-xim @notavintagecliche @peteysbaby @awkwardnesshabitat @lushalternative @deans-1967sbaby @phrogtheguitarist @xwackk @theatergeek2000 @elenatalia @littlechillies @l-a-a-e @a—1—1—3 @herondalism @jxhnnysbxby @jessyballet @astralnyx @the-nonsenseblog @ornella0910 @parkeret @utterlyconfused-tm @oh-whatabeautiful-parker @fishswimbetterunderwater @reysclana @notavintagecliche @homosexualjohnwayne @procrastinatingmurder @delicately-important-trash @honeybutterparker @chelsxxsworld @herstolenheart @petalduck @utopiamiroh @roses-raindrops-and-writing @qxeen-of-hearts @beansat3am @buckysjuicyplums @champagnesugamama @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @primsa-the-pretend-avenger @used-avocado @martinafigoli @ramblingsnfandom @zofty15 @colorfulartbywriters @keitkeat 

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

romanced!companions react to a sole who wakes them up in the middle of the night to cuddle!~

so i accidentally deleted one of my drafts in my inbox where two people requested the same react. (one requested male and one female, so i keep it neutral!) i was so close to posting it before i accidentally deleted it completely! :(

so i decided to rewrite it in headcanon form since i have been busy lately ! i’m so sorry it took so long to post this. like i said, im trying to keep my reacts a little shorter than usual because of my classes. (i’m currently writing this during class too, haha.)

ps. i changed nick’s & hancock’s scenario a bit!

-

Danse: 

they’ve only been dating for a bit, really, so danse was new to all this.

he wouldn’t know how to respond, only intensely staring at their face, trying to process the question asked. was he not understanding it because he was tired or-?

sole would chuckle at danse, who was obviously flustered to his core by such a small request. their small laugh would break danse out of his train of thought.

“i- uh- um.” he felt his face heat up more as he stumbled over his words. he’d throw away the idea of trying to let words do him justice, and resorted to actions instead.

he shyly shifted closer to them as he averted his eyes elsewhere, not noticing how close their face was to his. he was unsure of what to do with his arms, really.

as per usual, sole initiated the first move, wrapping their arm around his waist as they snuggled into his chest.

danse would feel himself tense up at first, awkwardly wrapping an arm around them. he was unsure of what to do.

god his heartbeat would be suspiciously loud but of course, sole wouldn’t comment on it

“i love you,” they’d whisper before drifting to sleep. danse would look down at them, his eyes softening at the sight of soles figure.

he’d carress their hair protectively, kissing the top of their head; he whispered in a soft voice, “love you too.”

Deacon:

deacon is a light sleeper, so even the sound of sole tossing and turning in their sleep would sometimes pull him out of slumber.

he slowly sat up; rubbing both his eyes to clear his vision as sole called out his name. looking to his side, he caught a glimpse of sole who was obviously wide awake.

upon hearing the words, ‘we’ and ‘cuddle’, he’d immediately respond to her request. “that time of the night already?” he’d chuckle seeing sole roll their eyes dramatically.

deacon would open his arms for sole to jump in, “come here, you big baby.”

sole would immediately crawl into his arms and deacon would lie them both down. they would be laying on his chest as deacon wrapped his arm around their shoulder. with his free hand, he relaxed it on top of soles forearm that wrapped around his torso.

sole would look up at deacon, a small smile etching onto their face . “it feels nice to cuddle with you after a long day.”

“what can i say? i’m a certified cuddler,” he’d lock eyes with them as he continued to joke, “no one can really resist the deacon charm, not even tinker tom himself.”

sole would burst into a small fit of laughter, deacon joining soon after. they continued to talk through the night about their lives, their arms wrapped around each other until eventually one of them falls asleep and the other following shortly after.

Maccready:

maccready gets all cranky and fussy when he gets woken up. he really doesn’t like the feeling of lacking sleep.

it took sole a few tries to even get maccready to open an eye. he‘s definitely a heavy sleeper and can literally almost sleep through anything if he knew he was at a safe place.

upon being woken up, he’d still keep his eyes closed shut as he mumbled sleepily, “did you need something?”

“i want to cuddle.” maccready barely budged from his spot, unresponsive as sole stared him down. after a minute or so of silence, sole shrugged and lied back down, facing away from him.

they figured that maybe mac was too exhausted to even muster up a proper response or stay awake.

after a short while though, they’d feel a strong arm wrap around their torso, a warm breath hitting their neck.

before they could speak, sole felt his arm hold them a little tighter. they smiled softly and put their hand on top of maccready’s own which relaxed on their stomach.

they felt him intertwine their fingers; his hand was warm compared to soles. “i love you,” he murmured. “I love you too, mac.”

soon enough, sole heard soft snoring from behind them. they closed their eyes, a small smile spreading on their face for the rest of the night.

Hancock:

hancock would wake up, hearing the sound of yawning and small groans near him. Opening one eye, he’d look over to sole’s area where they sat up, staring at the wall in front of them. 

“you okay, sunshine?” he’d prop himself up with his elbows, watching as sole turned their head to look at him. “i just had a nightmare, so I’m wide awake now.”

hancock sat up, scooting closer to his better half, “do you wanna talk about it?” sole nodded and leaned their head on his shoulder as he sat back.

through tears and soft words, sole vented about their dream as hancock rubbed their back soothingly, listening silently

“oh, sunshine.” hancock embraced them, placing a soft kiss on their temple. sole returned the hug, softly sniffling. “can we stay like this for the night?”

hancock pulled away from the hug, lightly ruffling their hair as he smiled sweetly. “of course. you don’t need to ask me at all.”

they would lay down, facing each other; their limbs would be entangled. hancock would whisper sweet nothings to them, caressing their face with his thumb.

sole shared a kiss with him, which hancock gladly returned. “go to sleep, sunshine. i’ll be here when you wake up.”

they trusted his words and laid their head on his chest, falling asleep at the sound of his heartbeat.

hancock stayed awake until he knew sole was completely asleep just to ensure they were okay.

Nick Valentine:

nick doesn’t need sleep, so there will never be a time where you really see him doing it. often times, he would just lay besides sole, holding them while he either stared at the ceiling or admired their features.

it would be midnight when sole would wake up, searching for nick beside them only to find empty space.

they would rise from bed, quietly stumbling downstairs where they found nick on his desk. he happened to be reading some unsolved cases, not noticing sole entering the room.

sole called out to him sleepily. “nick?” he would look at up at the familiar sweet sound, and smile at them. he’d put down whatever he was doing to give sole his full attention. “hey sweetheart, what’s got you up so early?”

“you weren’t in bed with me, so i figured i’d go check if you were okay.” he gathered his files, neatly stacking them near his desk fan. “i was just catching up on some cases that just came in today. ellie forgot to hand me them earlier before she went to bed.”

“oh. i should leave you to it then,” sole yawned, stretching, “i was just gonna see if you wanted to spend a little time together before i sleep again.” a faint grin would stretch across nicks face as he took the files in his hands.

“well if you really wanted to, then you should’ve just said so, sweetheart.” nick rose from his chair, dusting off his coat with his free hand, “i can finish these off while you sleep.”

soles eyes would brighten with happiness as nick lead her up to the room. he would sit on the bed as sole crawled on his lap, laying down comfortably.

nick would feel soles arms wrap around his torso; they would dig their face into his stomach. closing their eyes, they would whisper into his clothing, “goodnight nick.”

he would lightly brush their hair with his fingers as he continued reading the folder in his other hand. “night sweetheart.”

as much as nick tried to focus on his work, he couldn’t help but put it down and admire sole as they slept. he began thinking about sole and the moments they spent together; moments from when they first met till now.

he would push the files away from him. work could be done another day.

[4dtk]

room 405

@akutagawahakuryuunosuke: “Hi, if you're open for a request, can i req a scenario for Donghyuck please? The plot is he was her doctor when her bone got fracture, her first impression of him is he was too annoying but attractive as a doctor, he flirt with her sometimes he completely ignoring her after that is up to you thank you very much hope my plot doesnt confuse you ps add smut please if you like hehehe thank you” i know nothing about hospital and healthcare stuff so sorry if its inaccurate </3 i don’t mind to include something suggestive, but i won’t do full blown smut hahah. hope you understand! <3 also i didn’t really show him ignoring y/n aha im sorry 😔 enjoy it tho!!

ps, i might be ignoring health guidelines in this fic but just pretend its okay for two people from different places to kiss TT

warnings: suggestive, swearing

"your next check-up will be on 20th sept 2020 at 2.40pm. to avoid delays, please register at least 15 minutes before your appointment and patiently wait at consultation room 405. this is a reminder to wear your mask at all times, or you will be denied access on hospital grounds."

it was normal, this one email from the hospital system. when you switched to your inbox however, there’s several emails from your doctor, lee donghyuck, otherwise known as lee haechan.

the contrast is drastically different, a playful tone laced in between each email. he sent emails like texts, one after the other with hardly any interval in between.

donghyuck had gotten too friendly for your liking, cracking jokes in the midst of checking your temperature and dancing around as he relayed messages to his nurses and colleagues.

he was annoying.

sure, after a few visits to the hospital, you had gotten used to his antics, even getting a “it’s just how he is” from the nurse who had taken care of you from the first day.

looking down at your cast, you prepare to wrap it up before taking a shower, ready to crash for the night before your mind fills with thoughts of donghyuck.

thoughts that highlight how good his side profile looks, noticing how his moles stands out more than usual as you secure the plastic over the hard plaster made to fit your arm.

thoughts that highlight his smooth voice when he isn’t teasing you and the gentle fingers on your skin as he secures a new cast for your broken limb.

halfway through the healing process, there are a couple more check-ups that you will need to attend until it fully heals, and until then, you’d see donghyuck way more than you liked.

as september 20th creeps closer, you go about your life, finding that your mind occasionally drifts to donghyuck in between work and meals.

if you were thinking this much about him, there has to be some feelings involved, right?

your theory was proved wrong when he sits in front of you on check-up day, laughing as he types furiously on his computer.

“how’s your arm, (y/n)?” donghyuck asks, adjusting the glasses that sat on his nose. there’s a sly smirk under his mask, you’d like to assume. while you sit on the bed beside his table, he types a few more words before standing up.

you move it up and down a little as he makes his way to you, “it’s okay, i guess. i don’t really feel anything.”

donghyuck lays a hand on your cast, glancing at you through hooded lids. weirdly, this feels like the start of a porno.

“do you feel this?” he says right as you stifle a laugh, trying your best to hide your smile behind the mask.

“donghyuck, i’m sorry, but are you flirting with me?”

he drops his jaw, then proceeds to pout. huffing, he crosses his arms and turns his head childishly, and while that made you laugh, you found that way too adorable.

“so what if i am? you’ve never really reciprocated it from before.”

you place a hand on his bicep, coaxing him out of his position.

“i’ve never reciprocated it because one, it’s unprofessional, and two, you ignore me at times too!” you eye his hand cautiously, opting your own to stay where it was.

“so you wouldn’t complain if i kiss you now?” you gasp at the proposal, as if you haven’t thought of doing things to him. your fingers delicately remove your mask, a little too eager for your liking.

donghyuck does the same, keeping his eyes on you as your neck naturally cranes upwards, eyes sending him a silent plead before he finally descends on you.

his lips feel soft and plump, constantly melting into you as you do with him. his hands are hot on your cheeks while your arms stay limp.

in a matter of seconds, you manage to switch positions. the two of you catch your breaths as you get settled on his lap, straddling donghyuck while his hands trail down your sides.

“are we really doing this in the midst of the fucking coronavirus?” you whisper, eliciting a moan from the other when you shift in his lap.

“well, are you in? if not, i’ll stop.”

the way you nod brings crimson to your cheeks, never feeling this way for any other person.

“you haven’t gone anywhere in the past month, right? you’re a good girl, aren’t you?” a shaky sigh escapes you, the unexpected praise causing you to fidget and whine as donghyuck cups your ass.

“eyeing me non-stop from the first day i’ve become your doctor,” his hand travels towards your middle, pressing down a finger to test the waters, “you wanted me for the longest time.”

you shamelessly mewl into his neck, squirming at the pleasurable pressure. donghyuck grins at that, kissing down from your jaw to your neck.

your mind is clouded with donghyuck’s scent, thinking only of how his hands travelled over you so gently. the two of you have your fun for a few minutes and the initial bicker is long forgotten.

a ‘tsk’ makes its way into the room, then, the same nurse standing at the door that led to room 404.

“hurry it up, the next patient’s already waiting outside,” she says unimpressed.

donghyuck grumbles while you climb off of him, immediately resuming his professional position. the frown stays on his face as he types out your prescription, refusing to meet your eyes in presumably, shame.

before you leave, you press a kiss to his cheek, “watch for my email, hotshot.”

donghyuck doesn’t answer, pulling you in for a last kiss as you head to the pharmacy in smiles.

you hear nothing on donghyuck’s end until you head home, unaware of the smile you carried all the way home.

“i couldn’t wait for you to email first. after much thought, i realise that was a really bad way to confess that i like you,” he admits over an email, sent a few minutes ago.

“i just ended work and it was a little hard to keep my boner hidden for the past few hours,” you giggle over that, scrolling down to see the rest of the message.

“if you still like me (hopefully), i’d like to meet up as donghyuck, the human. and… not the doctor. did that make sense?”

at the end, there’s a classic sign off by the doctor, as he always has done:

- donghyuck 😼👍🏼😎

with a smile, your fingers fly over the keyboard, itching to reply him before another email comes in.

“also, you were really cute today.”

oh man, so there are feelings involved, refuting your previous statement.

your heart beats as fast as the music playing in your ears, hitting send with your number carefully typed out. in a second, he texts first, a message saying ‘i like you’ lighting up your screen.

[your-local-bnha-writer]

beanie boy | Hanta Sero

word count | 1511

pairing | sero x reader

warning | none

genre | fluff

a/n | well hello there! sorry my inbox is still closed im working on something oh my god i sound like every youtuber i noticed on don’t write a lot of sero fics even tho i day he needs more love... hypocrite so i hope you enjoy this! and yes, this is a college au!

gif by @foolishchesspawn

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you swiftly ran out of your dorm just barely slamming it shut, not bothering to lock it. glancing at the time you found out you had 6 minutes until class started and you were sure as hell weren't going to make it. did you know this? yes. were you going to try anyways? absolutely.

you were already feeling the effects of fatigue, your lungs ached for air. you looked like an idiot gasping for oxygen as you ran around college campus, but this was not an unfamiliar sight. you heart pumped rabidly and you could the familiar metallic tang at the back of your throat as your legs grew more tired by the second.

it was right there. your class was right there. running up the stairs you thought to yourself, i should really get in shape, or manage my time better.

you made it and sat in an empty seat next to somebody you didn't know. not like you really cared. but apparently he did.

he took note of your appearance. your sweaty forehead and how your baby hairs sticking to it. how you took long deep breaths and how your chest rose and fell speedily.

you noticed his gaze, normally you would've squirmed uncomfortably and made an effort not to make eye contact. but today was not a normal day. today was the morning after you tried energy drinks for the first time, today was the morning after trying to finish a project that was due the next day, thus why you woke up late and ran to class.

so, you had a crap ton of caffeine, 2 hours of sleep, plus the fact you just ran to class in less than 10 minutes, it was a recipe for disaster.

and so, what did you do?

"what do you want?" you ask. you didn't mean to, really you didn't. it was just your stupid mush of a brain making panicked decisions on the spot.

your eyes shot up at your answer and immediately apologized to the boy that you assumed, was just very concerned about you and your health.

to your surprise, he was super chill about it.

"nah, you're good," he answers and shoots you a smile. you nod and take a moment to observe him.

from the looks of it he was tall and lanky, although you couldn't really tell since he was sitting down. he had a beanie on with tufts of long black hair sticking out.

you had realized that you were staring but were too tired to feel self-conscious.

"so did you wake up late today?" he raised a brow, ignoring your stares from before.

"yeah, I was up late finishing a project like every other person here," you answer resting your chin on the palm of your hand lazily letting your eyes drag up to meet with his.

"hm," he says with a smile and ends the conversation there. you shrug it off, and continued to take notes on the lesson.

after class you had to walk back your dorm but in the rush of you getting your crap together, you had forgotten to pack an umbrella or check the weather. you sigh getting ready to bolt back to your dorm in hopes of "dodging" the rain when you felt a gentle tap on your shoulder.

turning behind you meet eyes with the stranger who you say beside in class. ah, beanie boy. you greet him with a small smile and a wave.

"it's raining," he says glancing behind you.

"indeed." was all you said before getting ready to head back to your own dorm again.

"you don't have an umbrella, don't you?" he announces loudly, before you before you could speed walk to your dorm in order to save energy and avoid slipping on the wet ground.

you stopped in your tracks and slowly turn around, standing face to face with a cheeky grin from beanie boy.

"I don't, do I?" you say with a hint of passive aggressiveness in your tone. he raises a brow at you and you feel a pang guilt in your chest.

"I'm sorry, do you need anything?" you ask shifting your weight to one leg.

"so are you always this sassy?" he asks leaning in with a smug grin plastered on his face. you give him an irritated look before he chuckle and put his hands in defence.

"I'm kidding princess, I wanted to walk you home?" he smiles shoving his hands in his pockets. it was your turn to raise a brow.

"and why would I want that?" you question crossing your arms. he gives you a teasing grin.

"because I'm great company," he smirks proudly. you roll your eyes.

"you need a better reason," you scoff attempting to turn away. but beanie boy offered you something, something you couldn't refuse. not at a time like this.

"and I have an umbrella," he says leaning against a nearby pole with that signature smug smirk.

you thought about it for a bit. did you need an umbrella? maybe. could you also run back without his snarky comments. possibly. did you secretly like his company? hell yeah. was he also extremely attractive? godammit.

"fine! yes, you can walk me home, only because I need your umbrella," you say biting your lip in an attempt to stop the smile forming on your face.

the walk back to your dorm was more entertaining than you thought it would be. sure, he gave sarcastic comments here and there but you could handle those. it turns out, he's a lot more friendly than you assumed he would be.

"hey, I just realized, I never got your name," you say looking up at him. he smiles.

"you're right, aren't you?" he hums in agreement and looks straightforward.

"okay! well I'm y/n, hello, nice to meet you," you say getting antsy. he gets this look of mischief on his face, and looks down at you.

"you're really desperate to get to know me," he smiles.

"you're the one who offered to walk me back to my dorm," you huff.

"touché, but maybe if you beg enough, I'll tell you my name," he sings the last part.

you couldn't believe your ears. he had the audacity to ask you to beg, beg in order to get to know him. not even know him, just to get his name!

"please?" you ask in a soft tone.

"hm, you could do better but I'll let it slide this one time," he shrugs.

"hanta sero," he answers and looks at you like he was asking for your opinion on it.

"sero, I like it," you say with a soft grin.

sooner or later you reached your dorm and you felt a sort of feeling in your chest. an unfamiliar one, like you needed to be with sero. spend more time with him. don't let him leave yet!

"well, isn't this your stop?" he looks at you with a smile. but, you notice how his facial expressions seem duller.

"oh, thanks for walking me, I appreciate it," you thank him half-heartedly.

"anytime," he waves and turns to leave.

"wait!" you shout surprising both you and sero. he turns around and tilts his head. oh god, what do I say now?

"do you wanna go...go out for coffee? or ramen sometime?" you ask shyly while fidgeting with your hands.

there was a moment of silence and you thought to yourself, is he gonna make fun of me? your foot starting bouncing to cool your nerves. you started to get nervous and you were so close to just apologizing and running into your dorm when sero finally decided to speak up.

"coffee sounds nice," he says coolly. your eyes light up and you look at him.

"oh...oh yeah! for sure, when...um when are you free?" you ask scratching the back of your neck.

"tomorrow? does tomorrow work for you?" he asks.

"yep, tomorrow's fine," you smile, "well I guess I'll see you—" you started but were cut off short.

"oh wait, I forgot to give you this," he says taking your hand and placing a small piece of paper on it and suddenly he seems bashful.

"uhh call me? or text...texting is fine too," he chuckles nervously and starts walking backwards.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" he confirms with you.

"yep!" you answer and walk into your dorm feeling like a love struck teenager that just got asked out by the most popular guy in school.

you put your things down grabbing your phone to ask sero what time you should meet up, but it turns out he beat you to it.

4pm? don't be late this time, wouldn't want your cute self to be exhausted on our date now would we? ;)

you blush at the compliment and squish your cheeks with you hands. taking a deep breath to calm yourself.

"this boy is going to be the death of me," you mumble to yourself before picking up your phone and texting him back.

[xsugarysweetsx]

OdaSaku X Pregnant Reader 4

1 2 3 4 5

Im so sorry for the delay guys I usually edit at night and lately I’ve been falling asleep cuz I be needing that sleep

Requests and inbox is open!!

Rules & Fandoms I do

Month 9/ birth

This was it.

You’re final month. So long and yet so worth it. Oda had convinced Mori to let you give birth at HQ for your protection. You both agreed with the idea of a home birth instead of staying stuck in the hospital for weeks on end. He hired the best doctor he could find to be there and help with anything. Ever since they said it would be difficult for you he did eveyrhing in his power to keep you comfortable and safe.

They had a small room big enough for your bed and a crib. You would be staying there for the first three days so you could recover. They had a small cot for the baby just for now. Every now and then oda would check on you to make sure you were alright. The only thing different with you was that you were much larger than before and much more tired. You were aproching your estimated due date in about 2 days.

That night after you got checked you laid with oda in bed. He stroked your belly and laid a kiss to it.

“Ugh im huge Oda, how am I gonna loose all this weight” you said with a pout. He chuckled and responded

“Well it’ll be worth it and either way you’re still gorgeous. Extra weight or not” he said with a kiss to your cheek “she’s really almost here huh?”

You nodded “yes she is, by the way I thought of a name I might want for her”

“You did?” He said waiting for the name

“Well, I really liked Aroura”

“Beautiful name for a beautiful baby right? Now come on we should get some rest and by we I mean you” you puffed your cheeks. You were tired of sleeping all day but you were tired.

“What about you Oda? You need rest too”

“Well I have some paperwork to do so I’m gonna do it here while you sleep okay” you nodded as he tucked you into bed. He lays a kiss to your crown and made his way over to the desk on the side to get to work

Time skip 3 hours

You slowly open your eyes feeling some discomfort. Moving your thighs together it felt wet. Damn it. Did you pee yourself again? No, this felt different. You sat up as best you could and say your bottoms were soaked more than just pee. Your eyes widened knowing exactly what it was. Oda was at his desk and you call out to him. He stood up and walked to you.

He noticed the wet stain on your clothes “I-is it time?” He asked anxiously. Just then a contraction started. The pain not as bad but still there. You nodded your head

“Don’t get the doctor yet, i just started so we don’t know how long I’ll be like this” you explained as the short contraction passed. Looking at the clock to note down how long it lasted.

“A-alright babe I-uh wow...this is happening..okay let’s um get you comfortable” he said with an expression that was happy, confused, scared and nervous all at the same time. He helped you off the bed so you could walk a bit.

Every now and then contraction started to become stronger. First it was 30 minutes apart, then 20, then 12, then 10. At this point they were really getting bad. You clutched Oda’s hand trying to breath through the pain.

“You...h-have to get....the ....doctor oda” you said through breaths.

“I-I can’t just leave you like this!” Of course the doctor was the best way to go about this but he didn’t want to leave you alone in this state.

“I know you don’t but..” you take a deep breath as the previous pain “I’ll be fine you won’t be gone long now go” you said in a serious tone. He kissed you before running out to get the doctor. You laid in bed and waited for his return.

He came back about three minutes later. You were clutching your pillow tears beginning to spill from your eyes. Oda helped you lay on your back so you could be checked. Oda held tour hand as you were check to see how far along you are.

“It looks like you’re about 6 cm along. You still have a little ways to go I’ll set up my things and if have any concerns please inform me”. Oda would help you walk around and rock from side to side trying to help you cope through the pain. He massaged your back and wiped your tears away.

About and other two hours passed and you were absolutely DONE with it. Your doctor came once more and checked on you

“Oda...i don’t think I can do this...”

“Of course you can, just think about our baby girl. We’ll get to hold her and kiss her. Oh god she’s gonna be so beautiful” he reassured you

“How do you know she’ll be that beautiful?”

“Well she’s coming form you and you’re the most stunning woman I’ve ever seen.”

You chuckle at his cute flirt with you. The doctor comes back to you

“Miss Y/N, it’s time to push, when you feel the contraction coming I want you to brace down and push” the doctor said getting into place. You scrambled for Oda’s hand with your shaky one. He gave a reassuring squeeze back to let you know he was right there.

As expected the next pain came and you started to push. It was possibly-no it was the worst pain you’d ever experience. You jaw was clenched as you felt like you were on fire.

“4....3.....2....1..okay that was good” the doctor said examining your area. With just that small amount of labor you were already sweating and ready to just go home. This process repeated about another six times. Each worse than the last. The pain was so unbearable at one pint you had gone unconscious. To say this scared Oda is an understatement. You woke up only because of the contractions.

He sighed from relief at least you were still with them

“You’re crowning which means with a push or two your baby should be here in no time” the doctor offered you a smile. Oda pushed back the hair stuck to your forehead from sweat.

“Oda....i- can’t....I’m so...so tired” of pained him to see you in this state. In pain, exhausted and yet he could do nothing about it. He wanted to take your pain away. He brought your hands to his lips and laid a kiss to your knuckles

“I know...I know baby but you have to be strong you’re almost done. You’re so close! Do it for her Y/N...” he motioned with his head. despite your exhaustion you knew you were doing it for her. Oh how you wanted to hold your baby girl. You hold his hand firmly letting him know you can do it.

You began to push once more with all the energy you had left. You tried but couldn’t hold back to sob like scream from escaping

“AAAAAHHHHHH!” You felt strange. The baby was moving lower and lower. How could women do this? And then want to do it again?

“Good job keep going! Sir would you like to catch the baby?” The doctor said never looking away from his work. Oda looks to you not wanting to leave you without support. You simply nodded as panted. He hurly threw on the extra set of scrubs and went to your feet.

He couldn’t decide if what he was seeing was either absolutely beautiful or traumatic. Maybe both. And finally with one last agonizing push and scream your child entered the world and into the arms of her father.

Her cries filled the room and Oda held her close. Was this is baby? How could he have been part of making something so pure and innocent? He couldn’t help tearing up. Sure she was still messy and what not but that was his baby girl.

The doctor took her to get her cleaned up and wrapped up warmly. Oda ran back to your tired form and kissed your face Over and over. You couldn’t barley keep your eyes open while you looked at him

“You did it b-babe...you did it! She’s so small and beautiful she’s just so perfect” he cried. You look at him with cracked eyes and soft smile

“I’m....so....happy..” the doctor came back with the now wrapped up quiet bundle. She was handed to her mother and your breath was taken away. She really was perfect

She had your lips and nose, Oda’s skin tone and tiny tuff of his hair. She was breathtaking. You kissed her small head completely infatuated by her. Oda sat beside you and held his family close together.

Yeah....his family...

“Hey baby girl, I’m your papa. I love you so much I swear to you I will never let anything ever happen to you or your mother” he looks at you and says “you know there is one last thing”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box “we’ve dated, lived together and now have a baby I think what’s left is” he opened the box to show a beautiful yet simple ring “will you marry me?” You cover your mouth trying not to yell and disturbe Aurora. You nodded multiple times as he slips the finger on to your finger.

He laid another kiss to your lips and giggled “my beautiful wife and daughter”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

I hope you liked it :))

[warningimmental]

You made your choice. It's not to be a mother so....... Congratulations you're free!!!. Your Wish came true.

Yes this is public so people can see.#TRUTH

***See below as im not repeating again and again.***

My side of life.

P.s

Yeah I'll be fine. I always am in the end.

( Heres what needs to be said and has been said so not to repeat myself. From in PMs )

Sad thing is she knows ill forgive her just like I forgave dad and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else. I care so no one else has to. I'm the one who picked up the pieces of everything but was tormented daily. She wonders why I was the way I was it was due to parenting and fobbing me off to anyone who would take me.

Anne and Bob should of kept me. They couldn't have kids they could of had me though. (neighbours I adopted as grandparents no blood but love ) My father was a shit most of my life my mother was everyones mother bar mine. They kept me quite with gadgets and as long as I went to school fed and watered job done.

Favourite quote was "it's your fault" and dads was "your making me ill"

Christ for someone who knows everyone elses business she never saw what was happening to her own daughter.

29 years im done. Sick of being a leighton.

I said Stockholm syndrome I loved my captives just happened to be the people I called mum and dad....

I still love them both but what I was "known as normal" was not remotely normal.

Eg. I was appendicitis and born 8 months in mum had no clue and I was "hiding" behind her ribs. It's medically impossible.

Not to mention lived in New York every other year from age of 6 months till I was 13. Dad would take me over and over and over mum came ONCE for my 13th.

I have no memories of New York. It's kind of a huge thing and place to have been wiped out of a memory.

Now im clear-minded im having pseudoseizures because my subconscious doesn't want me to remember what happened.

What mother would let a new born or toddler a child that can't speak fly to the other side of the world to only be with men. My dad and my fucked up uncle who sends stuff to "favourite" niece

I've tried so hard to get better and it's not even my family who acknowledged it.

There's so much you don't know.

She used to have me go in the house before her in case dad had killed himself so id find him first from the ages of 7 onwards. When dad past I went behind the curtain first. So I kept the is see him first. On 29th April 2018

I was always on eggshells she would say people die of lack of breath so EVERY NIGHT id check on mum and dad every hour. She would hold her breath to screw with me. Then say im not dead go to bed.

The house was toxic. For once in my life im actually sane.

She is not who you think she is.

If I've lost my mind it's because my environment sucked. I'm finally out. Sober can think clear and don't harm because I don't have to deal with the toxicity that I dealt with ALL my life.

If I told you everything you wouldn't believe me. Which is fine know one does because but it's true.

Always ask why or what causes someone to go off the rails and self destruct. I never felt safe, I was always told I was a mistake and everything was my fault. As long as I kept the family secrets mum was happy.

Dad was toxic. Mum the same. She wants drama so I finally said enough.

When I say mum knows everything I mean she saw it all and NEVER had it stop or put me safe. I can finally talk now dad is gone. I could write every TRUTH down and write a book. People would wonder how the hell did this girl cope and live to tell. I lived because I care about everything and everyone else. But im done now.

I doubt you'd believe me if im honest. My inbox is full of people defending her and my dad. If only they knew. its been a long time coming but im finally speaking out.

I know people don't understand but I don't want to burden with it. If You like my mum and dad id rather I let you keep the illusion. I know it's out there now that's enough.

If you want to see my life keep reading otherwise STOP HERE.

I'm fine and im safe finally. I just needed more as a child than fear of what should of been my safe place a home.

I don't want us to be strangers to the people who read this and thin sarahs lost it.

I don't want to cause a riff, I just couldn't not say it finally. Mum says always go to counselling but I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone the truth about dad or mum. Or the truth on why I had to have a very intrusive operation due to assault by 3 at Halloween party. Mum now knows that. Dad was arrested for hitting the wrong lad. Dad and mum would have gone down for murder if I spoke out.

On the other hand there was also my home life in general. I was made to stay quiet about having a revolving door of strangers. Huge boozy parties after a night out. Mum and me being treat like muck on a shoe.

A abusive uncle who would have me and my cusion be "kissing cusions" .Every night when I was 15 to 26 I drank took sleeping pills and hid away in my room self destructive harm anything so not to deal.

I look like wolferrines attacked me because of the arguments or threats. Mum couldnt leave the house quick enough. I gave up on a career to care for my dad but I was always looked down on.

****** golden girl. left was I was guilt tripped saying "your still dads girl you won't leave me" while dad would cry. Every night.

Mum swears I was an appendicitis 8 months in term. I'd be handed to anyone and everyone. Every year or every other from birth id end up in america. Mum would say her holidays where when me and dad would leave. From 6 months old id always go back and forth to New York. I couldnt talk yet "apparently" begged to go with dad.

Mum would say after blazing rows im leaving.

Then just walk out the door. I was left with a highly angry father and confused were mum had gone and if she would come back for me. I'd stay up all night waiting. I'd hide crying and scream in a pillow so not to be to loud so dad didn't shout.

I was told my face doesn't fit. My nick name was ferret face or panda. I would hurt my self so not to hurt others. I wanted and trained to be a counsellor so one to understand what I did wrong and two and most importantly to be there for the people who needed support.

I went to rehab to be identified when found so my parents wouldn't have to. If it wasn't for craig I doubt if be here.

Craig saved my life. Mum has always put others before me or ignored it so it didn't exist.

Important in here (ears) none important (over your head)

I was terrified everyday of my life. I loved and do love my parents it's just I can't stay quite any longer.

Money or game consoles chocolate sweets where hush money. Dad would buy crates of spirits and beer and supple my / his pills so I was always foggy minded.

I'm finally sober clean and harm free my mind is the most composed it ever been.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Mum is a star and has a heart of gold to others but from age 7 onwards everyone else came first.

I pride my self on protecting, comforting trying to be there and support everyone, hell even risked my life enough times to save some. because I never had it. No one to fight for me protect me.

I wanted parents love encouragement happy I archived or even tried. But it never came.

Even my graduation was ruined.

I wasn't allowed to get a job they made me be sick and have PTSD mum still to this day loves to make me jump. I have terrifying nightmares.

I'd hear conversations no child should hear because they either didn't notice I was there or care. When ***** killed him self when *** did when dad tried and I was left with a random man being told "your dads took to many sweets"

The same man who later tried it on with me sending dirty pictures or dads other "mates" who would try there luck. I gained a shit ton of weight 21 stone so NO guy would come near me because the strangers who would come to the house used to try and feel me up or perv if door was unlocked as I was a kid.

She saw everything but wouldn't believe it. Or me. I phone our ***** one night years ago because she said I could and she yelled at me because she had work. I was silently screaming for help.

It was only at dads funeral she saw and realised and was so genuinely sorry for not believing me the night I phoned.

I wish every single thing I've said and keep telling was a lie but it's not it's 25/26 years of fear.

I'm 29 now. For the first time in my life im not on eggshells. I have a safe home. I can lock the door and not fear.

I wish these were lies I swear!!!!! I do but there not.

Yet NO ONE will even consider it's the TRUTH.

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 34

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.7k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- note for this chapter: as usual, i realllly hate the ending. so im sorry about it. here are the ‘requests’ i added in this chapter

i will add more in future chapters so dont worry! i have like, 18 more in my inbox lol! so keep them coming! and i hope you like this chapter? i dont expect much notes or comments but please know i appreciate every single one of them! :)

Chapter 34 : His chapter

NIALL

I woke up before my alarm and even if it was still dark outside, I could still see the room clearly. She was deeply asleep next to me, her lips parted and lightly snoring, and it made an amused smile curl my lips before it turned into a fond one. I couldn't remember the last time I actually wanted a girlfriend. I know I had dated Maya but it was more a relationship that I felt trapped in. With Olivia, it was different. I wanted this, I loved it, and I was ready to let people know I was taken. That obviously didn't mean I was going to talk about it to everyone and publicly display my love and affection all the time, but I was okay with more things that I normally didn't agree with. I wanted this relationship to be discreet though and I was going to do anything I could to keep it that way. I thought it was the best way to save it and I didn't want to risk it, but I wouldn't deny or hide it.

I stared at my girlfriend for a few minutes and the thought of us being official made my heart thump all over my body. It was crazy yet it felt just right. I glanced at the large green-ish numbers on my clock and licked my lips, moving slightly closer to her and pressing my lips on hers.

"Liv? Wake up..." I whispered without success. "Olivia, our flight is in a few hours, we need to leave soon."

I put my hand gently on her arm and shook her softly but she didn't even budge and I decided to try a bit harder. It was always a pain to wake her up but I thought the alarm was just a bad way to get awaken.

"Petal, please wake up."

Her lips curled slightly this time and she groaned, I felt her legs move a bit and brush against mine and I licked my lips.

"Five more minutes." she mumbled low. "I was dreaming about you."

I let out a short and low laugh, leaning my head again my hand as I was still looking at her.

"No need to dream about me darling, i'm right here with you."

Her eyes fluttered open and I smiled more before she did the same. She brought her hand to my cheek and let her fingertips run on my skin and it reminded me that she had done the same at the lodge, one night. It was ridiculous that I had not noticed the way she looked at me before. How did I miss all of that?

I put my hand over hers, grabbing her fingers gently and bringing her hand to my lips before kissing her palm as I still stared at her. Her eyes were small and tired but the way she smiled at me was adorable and I moved closer to kiss her lips.

"Shower and dress up." I whispered, letting my lips brush on her jaw. "We don't wanna be late."

I pushed the covers off me and got up, searching through my drawers to find something to wear. I knew she would lay in bed for a while before actually getting up and I turned to look at her. She had barely moved. She was just staring at me and I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"What now?" I asked, making her smile more.

"Nothing." she simply answered in a whisper.

I waited a few seconds just staring at her and finally chuckled and walked to the bathroom. I left the door ajar and turned the shower on, checking the temperature of the water before getting in. I stayed under the hot stream for a while but when I heard a noise, I opened my eyes again and held my breath when I noticed Liv walked in. I tried to hold her gaze but I couldn't help and let my eyes roam on her body. She was tensed, that much was obvious, but I sent her a small smile, happy that she had joined me. I didn't say a word, I just got closer to her and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer gently. I felt her shiver in my arms and bent down to kiss her, my wet lips pressing firmly but still softly against hers. It took her a few seconds but she finally brought her hands to my hair, slipping her fingers in it and I let my fingertips brush on her lower back.

"I'm so happy you joined me." I just replied in a whisper before kissing her again. "Thank you."

I took a step back, pulling her with me until we were both in the water stream. I deepened the kiss as she gripped my hair tighter and when she moaned in my mouth, I felt her thigh brush against my dick.

"If we don't stop this now, i'm gonna expect more from you." I half-joked, making her laugh.

"Fine then."  she let go of my hair and her hands slid on my cheeks, neck, shoulders and chest before she dropped them by her sides, staring in my eyes the whole time. It made me want to fuck her more than I could explain.

To avoid getting harder than I was, I grabbed the shampoo and poured some in my hands before rubbing it in her hair. She smiled more but remained motionless as I washed her hair but I felt her hold her breath when my hands slipped on her shoulders and down to her breasts. I couldn't stop myself from touching her and it made me realize that she was the first girl i was dating with whom I hadn't had sex in the first week of being official.

My thumbs brushed on her nipples and my eyes followed my fingers until she sighed, making me look up at her. Her lips were parted and her chin was slightly up, making her head tilt back very lightly. I could understand why such a small touch made her feel like that because she barely had to touch me to bring inside me a feeling of intense lust. My hands slid on her sides and stopped on her waist, and I watched her as she licked her lips.

"We're gonna have to talk about that." she whispered, making the left corner of my lips raise up a bit.

"Why talk about it when we can just do it?"

She laughed again and shook her head. "Because there's so many things I want to know about you first." she explained, grabbing the shampoo too and pouring some in her hands. "And we never really finished that discussion now did we?"

I didn't move but she got on her tiptoe and started rubbing the shampoo in my hair, wiping some foam that threatened to fall in my eyes.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know." I replied, making her smile more. "You can ask me anything."

Before I knew it, we were dressed and ready. I was surprised at how quick she had been but when I came back to my room to grab the rest of the bags, I saw her brush her hair, looking at herself in front of the mirror. It made me grin and I just wrapped my arms around her waist from behind, leaning my chin on her shoulder.

"I thought you were ready." I pointed out, amused by her behavior.

"There will be fans, and paps, and I look like...this." she just replied with a grimace, pointing at her reflection.

My smile fell quickly. "No one knows we're leaving." I let out, trying to reassure her. "It'll most likely be only you and I."

"But you can't promise that, can you?"

I stared in her eyes in the mirror for a few seconds and finally shook my head slowly. She just sent me a sad smile and shrugged and it made me realize how much more complicated her life was because of me. I tried to keep things private exactly for that, whether it was my friendships or my relationships but Olivia was part of both now and even if I could say she was used to it, I couldn't pretend it was something you easily get used to, and I knew it would get even worse now that we were dating.

I moved my body up and put my hands on her shoulders, raising my eyebrows as I was still staring at her.

"You need to let go of that. You need to..." I shrugged a shoulder. "Build a wall and not let them destroy it."

I didn't want anyone to destroy and ruin what we had. I didn't want anyone to destroy or ruin her. I would fight for that, I promised myself. We stayed silent for a few seconds, just staring at each other in the mirror and she finally swallowed.

"That's what I did with you." she started, making me frown. "I built a wall that would hide the feelings I have for you... the love I felt for you. That way, I could pretend it wasn't there, that it wasn't hurting. But in the end, it was a lie, you know?"

Her voice was soft, almost weak, and it made something stir in my stomach. Slowly, I turned her around so she would face me and bent down slightly to look in her eyes. She looked vulnerable and it was not something I was really used to see.

"This is different." I tried to explain with the right words. "These people, they don't matter. You know what matters? This. What we have. You. You matter. Your feelings, your well- being. Them? Fuck them."

Slowly, her lips curled and she breathed out, making me smile too.

"Okay."

"Okay." I repeated. "I love you, and you're beautiful. They're not worth your stress and worries."

She cupped my face and got on her tiptoes again to kiss me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the way her lips seemed to fit perfectly with mine. If I could take all her pain, fears and stress away, I would without a second thought, no matter what it would cost. She deserved to be happy and thinking that some people who didn't even know her could judge her so wrongly made me angry.

"I love you too."

Her soft voice eased my anger and I smiled against her lips. I just wanted us to enjoy our time together, especially knowing that I was leaving soon.

"Come on, we'll be late."

                                                      ------

The flight was short and I couldn't pretend I was surprised when she ended up sleeping pretty much the whole time. I enjoyed her head laying on my shoulder and literally spent the whole time on my phone, listening to music and holding her hand. I stared at our intertwined fingers for a long time, a very very long time, and let my thumb brush on her skin softly. I tried not to think about it but I was scared of this relationship and I knew it. I was scared of what it would do to our friendship and what would change between us. I knew it could go well but I also knew it could ruin everything and it was too late to go back. The thought of not being with her made my heart jump in my chest and I realized I was fucked. I loved her and no, there was no turning back. I would have to adjust with time and do everything for this to work to make sure I would never lose her.

When we landed, I took it back and chuckled before wiping the sweat on my pants and we got out in silence. I was happy we hadn't been papped at all but I didn't mention it not to jinx it and we took a cab. I could see her eyes shine as they roamed on the landscape moving quickly by the window and when I took a glance through it too, it made my heart skip a beat. There was something amazing and unique about going home, something that nothing else could make you feel.

"Home." Liv said in a whisper as if she could read my mind.

I searched for her hand on the seat and grabbed it, squeezing her fingers and realizing it was the very first time we were here together as a couple.

"Home." I repeated.

She turned my way and looked at me with tired eyes, making my heart twist slightly. She looked pretty and I brought my free hand to her cheek, running my thumb on her bottom lip.

"Hey you, I love you."

Her lips curled more and she chuckled low.

"I never thought i'd ever hear you say that." she pointed out. "I mean, not that way. It's hard to believe."

"Well you better believe it, because it's the truth." I argued with a small laugh. "You know I don't say those words lightly."

She nodded slowly and licked her lips.

"I know, I love you too."

I don't know how long we stared at each other but when the cab parked, i looked up only to see my mom's house. i couldn't remember the last time I came here but it was definitely way too long ago. I got out of the car and Liv did too before I could open the door for her. We grabbed our bags after I paid the driver and got up the stairs but when I reached for the bell, she gripped my wrist. I raised my eyebrows, looking at her fingers squeezing my wrist before turning my head to look at her.

"How are you gonna tell them? Are you gonna wait until everyone's there? Why didn't we discuss this before?"

Her voice was low but I could hear stress in her tone and I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, shaking my head.

"It'll be okay petal, I promise."

It took a few seconds but she finally let go of me and I quickly rang the doorbell. We heard movements inside and the door swung open. I barely had time to see my mom before she pulled me into a hug, making me laugh again as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Hey mom, im happy to see you."

I rocked her a bit and she finally pulled away, bringing one of her hands to my cheek, tapping it softly and finally turned to smile at Liv. She pulled her into a hug too and I watched them until they both moved back at the same time. We finally walked in and I could feel Olivia nervous besides me. I was tempted to grab her hand but decided against it, knowing it would raise many questions.

"I'm so glad you could both visit for a few days!" my mom let out happily. "Olivia, how are your parents?"

"Oh." Liv let out, sending her a small but uncomfortable smile. "Last time I talked to them, they were good."

"We're going to see them too if we can." I explained, bringing our bags to my old room as they both followed me. "Hopefully before I leave."

"I prepared the guest room for you, Olivia. Unless you want us to move the mattress in Niall's room, like you two did when you were younger."

I didn't know if it was the memories or the thought of sleeping in the same room in my mom's house but I smiled and finally just chuckled.

"We'll decide that later." I just let out, glancing at my girlfriend who seemed extremely uncomfortable suddenly. "Liv and I are going for a walk if that's okay? We won't be too long."

"Okay, but don't be out too long. You both need to get ready, your father's supposed to be there in a few hours."

Liv smiled happily at me and we dropped everything before rushing out. The weather was not that great but it was not raining and I pushed my hands in my pockets, making sure I wouldn't be tempted to take one of hers.

"I can't wait for her to know and at the same time, It makes me extremely nervous."

I glanced at her and chuckled. "Yea, I noticed."

She turned to me and shook her head slightly. It was cold and her cheeks were a soft shade of red. Her hair was a bit messy under her beanie but she looked cute and I felt happy. It was special to see her in a place I was so used to see her, but in a different way. Now I didn't only see her as my best friend, I also saw her as my girlfriend.

"How can you be so calm about this?" she asked with a chuckle this time. "You're so annoying."

I laughed and shrugged as we arrived at a park. This time, I took one of my hands out of my pocket to grab hers, pulling her closer before making her twirl around again. She laughed and ended up in my arms, looking up in my eyes. She sighed, her lips curled into a fond smile, and I decided not to answer her question.

"You think your mom will let us sleep in the same room after we tell her we're dating?"

I grimaced and shrugged, pulling her closer to me.

"I don't know, it's not like we were 16 anymore, I think she knows how it works." I just said, my eyes suddenly getting smaller. "Why? You don't want our first time to be at my mom's place, do you?"

She grimaced but laughed and I raised my eyebrows, amused by the conversation.

"Such a little minx, I swear."

"Oh shut up Horan!" she  laughed even more. "You know that's not what I meant!"

"That's very, very naughty Liv." I added, ignoring her comments. "But I want you so bad I think I wouldn't be able to resist."

This time, she rolled her eyes and got out of my embrace, shaking her head as she took a few steps back slowly.

"You know it will never happen, Niall." she explained with a smirk. "Not here."

I remained motionless as I watched her move away from me and the sight of her in the park where we used to hang out made me happier than I thought it would.

"But when we get back home, you're all mine."

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" I repeated, raising my eyebrows.

"Maybe."

Her lips curled into a smirk and she raised her eyebrows, making me laugh. Suddenly, I started running after her as quick as I could and she let out a short scream as she started running too. It only took me a few seconds to catch her and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me as she was trying to escape.

"Fighting is futile, I won." I let out with a laugh, leaving a kiss on the skin of her neck when she stopped struggling in my arms.

She turned around and finally moved her arms around my neck, reaching for my lips. I let her kiss me softly and grabbed her bottom lip between mine, sucking gently on it and making her groan low.

"I loved you when we were kids and you pushed me on the swing." she whispered., brushing her lips against mine. "I loved you when we were a bit older and we'd play football until it was too dark to see the ball. I loved you when we were teens and we'd get drunk and lay down to watch the stars. I've always loved you, Niall."

All the memories rushed to my brain and I swallowed hard. I didn't see it, I never noticed, and I felt very stupid about it. How could I not realize that my own best friend, the girl I always hung out with, the one I spent all my time with... how did I not see that she was in love with me? How blind could someone be for not seeing something like that?"

"When did you start loving me?" I asked, feeling my heartbeats accelerate.

"That's the thing, Niall. I can't remember ever not loving you." she confessed.

I stared in her eyes and brushed my nose against hers. I had no idea what to say, I didn't know how to react or if I should apologize. All I could think about was how hard it must have been for her. I wouldn't have been able to keep my feelings a secret for that long and i had no idea how she managed it.

"Did you ever tell anyone?"

"Not until recently, and only because people had guessed it and asked about it."

I felt like sharing it would have made it easier for her, like it wouldn't have felt so heavy on her shoulders, but hearing that she kept it in for so long made me nibble on my bottom lip. How did she do that? And why?

My phone suddenly rang and let go of her to take it out of my pocket. I quickly read the text message and sighed. I felt like we had so many things to talk about and it seemed like we can't ever finish a conversation.

"My mom says it,s time we come home."

I looked up and she sent me a small smile before nodding.

"Let's go then."

                                                       -------

"Nervous?" I just asked, turning around when I heard her walk back in my room.

My eyebrows raised and a small smirk appeared on my lips. She shook her head and chuckled, walking past me and searching through her purse that she had left on my bed.

"Don't look at me like that, right now's not the time." she pointed out, taking a brush out and trying to do something with her hair. "And yes, i'm very nervous."

I finished buttoning my shirt and took a step closer to her without touching her.

"You look beautiful." I expressed in a low tone. "Don't be scared, it'll go well."

She turned around and our eyes met. She sighed and licked her lips, shaking her head slightly as I sent her a fond smile. She looked adorable and I grabbed her fingers, squeezing them lightly before raising my eyebrows and moving my chin slightly down.

"They've always considered you like their adopted daughter or something." I added just as low. "Relax, everything is okay."

She exhaled and closed her eyes for a few seconds before opening them again. I saw her shoulders fall as her body relaxed and it made me smile more. I bent down to press my lips on her, smelling her perfume, the scent of vanilla not only coming from her hair anymore. Someone knocked at the door and we both took a step back like some kids getting caught doing something they weren't supposed to. We smiled as the expression of surprise vanished from our traits and I pushed my hands in my pockets.

"Come in!" I let out, still staring at her until the door opened completely.

"Greg is here!"

I chuckled and we finally followed my mom downstairs and when Theo ran to me, I bent down to take him in my arms before greeting my brother and his wife. I vaguely heard him compliment Liv and we all ended up in the living room to discuss. Olivia tried to have a conversation with my nephew and I finally put him down only to watch him run to the tree to check all the gifts nicely wrapped in christmas colored papers. I wanted to tell everyone about us but it never felt like the right time and it's only when my dad arrived that we finally moved to the kitchen. We started eating and I kept glancing next to me, a bit worried about how much wine my girlfriend was swallowing.

"Easy." I whispered after getting a bit closer to her and grabbing her thigh gently. "I'll tell them now okay?"

I knew the wait was making her even more nervous and she quickly nodded, still staring at the food in her plate whom she hadn't even touched yet. I cleared my throat and put my fork down, one of my hands still on her thigh and the other on my glass of wine.

"Uhm, so I have something to tell you."

I felt Liv's hand over mine and it made me smile a bit. Everyone had stopped talking and they were now all staring at me except Theo who was playing with his food. I focused on him for a few seconds until Olivia squeezed my fingers, taking me out of my thoughts.

"So, I don't know how else to say it but," I glanced at my girlfriend and finally turned back, my eyes moving from my mom, to my dad and then my brother before finally going back to my mom. "Well, Olivia and I are dating."

My mom's lips curled into a large smile and it made me realize I had been holding my breath. I thought she'd tell me something but she just turned to my dad who sighed. He was not smiling at all and I frowned, wondering what the hell was happening in front of me. I watched as my dad groaned and picked something in his pocket. My lips parted a bit when he took a fifty pounds bill and held it between two of his fingers. My mom got up and snatched it from him, letting out a short laughter.

"I told you they'd spend all their time together on tour and it would happen!" she told my dad, completely ignoring me.

"He always spent all his time with her when they were kids and he never made a move!" he argued, moving closer to her, leaning a bit on the table.

"He grew up!"

"He's 22!"

I glanced at Olivia and noticed she was looking at my parents exactly the same way that I was : surprised and a bit shocked.

"Could you guys stop talking about us like that?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "We're right here."

My mom turned to me with a small smile and was about to say something but I just kept talking.

"I can't believe you guys made a bet."

"I can't believe you guys made a bet without proposing me to join!"

I turned to my brother and frowned at him, making him shrug with an amused smile.

"Son, I'm sorry, it was just a bet." my dad tried to explain in an apologetic tone.

"A bet that I won." my mom added with a chuckle before I turned to her. "Darling, it was so obvious to me that it's how it would end."

I let my eyes move on everyone in the room and I was astonished to realize that I was the only one who had not seen this coming. How have I been so oblivious? Olivia pressed my hand in hers again to catch my attention and I turned to her. The smile she sent me made me smile too and I shrugged a shoulder. I was not mad, just a bit surprised, and I finally chuckled.

"Then I guess it's time to congratulate us?" I proposed, raising my eyebrows, before smiling more.

Everyone got up and hugged us and as they were all discussing together and laughing, I decided that I was happy and that I wanted to remember this time as one of the happiest in my life. I sang for crowds, traveled the world and lived things that many people would never have the chance to live but at this exact moment, spending time with my family and the girl I loved seemed like the most important thing I ever did.

Olivia ended up in my arms and I held her close to me as everyone was sitting back at the table to finish eating. I closed my eyes and brushed my nose on her neck gently, trying to focus on this specific moment.

"I love you." I whispered. "I will always love you."

[chocojjk]

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint 

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this 

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have  

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library  

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

oh

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself 

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips  

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying 

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you  

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home 

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking  around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along  

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2  weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside  

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now 

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence  

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

oh

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do  

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face  

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side  

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude 

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble 

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself 

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday 

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you  expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him  

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug 

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

..

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished 

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

[everafterhigh12-blog1]

Ramona and rosabella

I woke up to see my  roomate justine dancer dancing all across the room with her head held high and her eyes down low. Ever single morning i complained, why cant you just complain in the mornings like the rest of us justine?! i asked her. “well Ramona!” shove it, i said angerly. i got into the shower feeling the cold water drip down my spine. TING. i looked down at my phone and it said my blood test and destiny test arrived 1 hour ago. i put on my clothes did my makeup btw i messed up on my wing like 7 times... i asked the headmaster if i got any mail and he checked my inbox. “ah yes. i do recall seeing a package arrive about an hour maybe 2 hours ago...” he looked into the inbox bin and found my package. i snatched it from his hands and said “about time”. i raced up to cerise’s dorm and said “DUDE DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?” she yelled i dont know and i dont care. well fuck you, i said. i went back to my dorm and opend the box... the results were i was 50% indian 30% hispanic 5% black and the rest white. Wow. im inidan? cool. TING. i looked down at my mirrorphone and by my suprise it was super late i was goanna be late for first period. but honestly i didnt care. i opend the “unravel your destiny box” that came with the blood test. i was just about to throw the box away when i thought. hmm why not. so i cut through the tape with my claw and it said 100% match for. ROSABELLA BEAUTY? i dropped the box and ran to rose’s dorm. she opened her dorm door and said “ramona what the hell are you doing here? were goana be late for first period. i told her about how me and justine loved eachother and how we have been dating for 2 months. “uh... ramona why are you telling me this?” BECAUSE rosie... im destined to love you... forever. She laughed and said, alr cool thats funny. but im dating daring right now- Daring... i said. you mean he’s cheating on cerise? i ran to his dorm and  broke open the door. i looked around the dorm and he wasnt there so i looked in the bathroom and there he was. that son of a cheating bitch. i grabbed him by his hair and tied him up to the bed with his own leather jacket. RAMONA what in the royal world has gotten into you!?” im a wolf remember? wait so-so your goana eat me? no you dickhead i said. whyd you cheat on cerise? look man.he said i really didnt mean too. i was drunk and tired. i wont do it agian. i slit his hand with my claw. let that be a reminder to you. i chuckled. i went to rosies dorm, and saw her with her hands curled around her knees and her breasts sticking way out. woah there buddy i said. so ramona. since your my girlfriend now... i turned around grabbed her hips and kissed her so much i kissed her down her neck and onto her breasts. i could never do that with justine she would always stop me. RAMONA!? i looked behind me. CRAP it was justine. BABY i said. but it was to late. hah. said rosabella. whos the dirty cheater now? ugh. me. just break up with her. ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE. i love justine more than anything. more than the fucking world its fucking godamn shitty self! she began to cry. Ramona i’ve loved you for so long! dreamed of you thought of you. even drew pictures of us together, but no. you wanna go and chose a bitchy dancer. rosie i cooed. GET OUT she yelled. I tried to hug her.. but she kept kicking and screaming at me. i felt so bad. not only had i cheated. and justines my roomate. rosabellas my predetermined princess. AND justines my fuckin girlfriend! i went back to my dorm sad and even more sad. how could i do this? i saw justine sitting on her bed crying. Oh im so sorry... save it! said justine. you know what fine, but dont expect me to come running back next time. i went to rosies dorm to see her reading a wolf book. Heh . so your reading a wolf book... all just for me? She shut the book hard. ramona... im not lesbian. Neither am i. i said, im bi. i prefer boys but girls are an open option for me. so do you wanna walk down with me? sure i smiled. we talked about thronecoming and the upcoming dances, then in the middle of the hallway when everyone was watching. she kissed me. The whole school was shocked. Ramona? said cerise. are you cheating on justine? justine walked up behind cerise. yes, she is cheating on me. shes been cheating for who knows how long... I DIDNT CHEAT OKAY! i said. THEN WHAT DID YOU DO?! said justine. You know what justine this was never going to work out anyway. i am rosies beast okay! thats me! your destined to marry some pre-determined dick! oh yeah, and your not? said justine. Fine! i shouted, you wanna play games. lets play some games. my eyes turned yellow my claws grew, and i turned into a wolf

i lunged at her and cerise had to stop me. so she jumped ontop of me and grabbed my ears i turned back to a human, and said. this time you got let off easy. 

6 months later.

hey rosie. i said, ramona... i need to ask you something... okay... what is it i said. she got down on one knee. and pulled out a rose box and said, “ramona badwolf, will you make me the happiest girl in the world and marry me- YES! i screamed. wait, we are still in highschool. i said, yeah well we can wait. she said. she got up and kissed me. suddenly my dad came out from his classroom. RAMONA! he said, your lesbian!? yeah i said, i am. and he gave me a hug and noticed the ring on my finger and said. wait rosie... are you - and ramona-? yes she said, we are! she said. wow and you didnt even ask for my blessing!? I-im so sorry sir i really didnt mean t-to offend you- i-i-i im so deeply sorry please do-dont call it off... she said, well why the fuck would i call it off. he said, i couldnt help myself and turned around and kissed her, but ramona- dad said. you’ve gotta follow your destiny into the next badwolf. i explained everything with the kit and stuff. 

5 years later

ramona said rosie, yeah baby i said. im pregnant! wait so the spell worked. it took our blood and merged it together to create OUR BABY! yeah love, it did. im glad we both still got our pussys, i said. and we laughed. 

9 months later

BABY! said roseabella from the other room. i came rushing in. what-what is it!? its c-coming the baby!

after dilivery

what should we name her? i said. well there were two names we thought were cute.

ramonabella

or

rosamona

You guys can chose the babys name below! i will count up the votes and see who wins! Good luck!

[oyesmendes]

I'll be there

a/n: I got this idea a while ago and I've really been sitting on the fence for it, but since you guys asked, here it is. grab a snack, tissue and lots of emotions. if you're feeling down or you need an ear to hear you our, my inbox is always open and im here for every single one of ya beautiful humans. xx ash

warnings: mentions of death, hallucination, angsty and kinda sad 

“Shawn?..Shawn I’m so sorry baby, Riley is gone…” He let out another choked sob, his mother only able to comfort him through the phone. You stood there in front of him ready to catch him if he fell, which he did and you had him in your arms in seconds. The phone smacked straight down to the floor and he completely broke in your arms. You squeezed him as tight as you could, whispering into his ears softly.

“Shh, its okay I’ve got you gorgeous, I’ve got you” once his breathing evened out, you picked up the phone on the floor, surprised that Karen hadn’t hung up on Shawn. Instead, she still was behind the phone breathing softly into the speaker. Shawn had his head buried into your neck, tears rolling down his face uncontrollably

.“Hey Karen..”

“How’s he holding up?” A soft sigh escaped your lips as you massaged Shawn’s scalp with your free hand. 

he’s broken. “He’s okay, for now at least. We’ll be on the next flight back.”

“Alright sweetheart, take care of him for me okay, I’ll see you both when you’re back” Karen hung up and the dressing room was once again filled with silence. The crew had given Shawn the privacy that he needed when he received the call, so the room was only occupied with you and a broken Shawn in your arms. You pushed Shawn away from your chest, cupping his face in your hands. His eyes were bloodshot, cheeks puffy and read as he breathed heavily. Tears couldn’t stop flowing from his eyes and you wiped them off with your thumb every single time. 

“Shawn… why don’t you go sit on the couch over there? I’ll talk to Andrew about the flight and we’ll get out of here as soon as we can” it wasn’t an option for Shawn he knew, so he helped himself up hands still intertwined with yours as he curled up into a couch way too small for his frame. You planted a kiss to his forehead, and watched him stare off into space as the light in his eyes slowly faded. 

Riley was shawn’s best friend. They  had been best friends ever since they could remember and you loved the boy too. He was the kindest, biggest sweetheart of all time but bad things happen to good people. Last week as Riley was driving up to Toronto to stay over at yours and Shawn’s apartment, he was met with an accident as his car had slipped on some black ice on the road.

-

“Riley has what?!” Shawn shouted over the phone as you placed your hand on his knee. Shawn shot up immediately, grabbing his keys and you followed suit behind him. he tucked his phone into his pocket, immediately grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him. 

“he’s he's been in an accident..” was all Shawn managed to say as you both stood in the lift. you slipped your arm around him, taking his car keys and driving the both of you safely to the hospital. it felt too surreal for you, the tubes, the bandages and beeping machines. but the doctor said he would be okay, which gave Shawn enough assurance that his best friend would survive and that Shawn could continue touring. 

- 

so Shawn trusted Riley and he left for tour. 

He’d been in the hospital for a week now and doctors were optimistic until this morning when Riley quietly slipped away in his slumber. No explanation, nothing. Riley just left and that has left Shawn in the state that he is right now. 

“Andrew, we’re going to need to fly out as soon as we can” you said, watching the older man, click something on his laptop. He turned the screen over, nodded as you looked at him.

“Go, go pack and get to the airport. I’ll have Jake and a few others take you guys there for better security.” You nodded, hugging him tightly before heading back to the dressing room. Shawn was still in the same spot, but he stopped crying now only a pillow hugged tightly in his arms. You picked up his stuff one by one, shoving it into his backpack before doing the same for yourself. You grabbed shawn’s hand and he followed as if he were a three year old being taken around by his mom. He slung his backpack on his back, and intertwined both your hands together. Andrew had Jake take your luggage out of the tour bus, and he was waiting out front for the both of you. the ride to the airport was silent but shawn’s hand never left yours, even on the 5 hour flight home. 

-

“Shawn oh my goodness, I’m so sorry baby I really am” Karen hugged Shawn tightly and once again started the tears from his eyes. Manny and Aaliyah took you in for a hug too, settling the both of you down in Shawn’s old room. He was in the middle of the queen sized bed, knees brought up to his chest as he buried his head into his hands.

“Why?” He croaked out, the first words Shawn had ever said since the news. You stopped unpacking his clothings and sat right at the edge of the bed. 

“Some things happen for a reason baby, this being one of them” you reached out to rub shawn’s arm and he shook his head. 

“No, why aren’t you crying? Are you not sad?” there was a hint of anger in his voice which made you frown. But you understood where he was coming from. This was one of the 5 stages of grief that you were all too familiar with - anger. And that you shouldn’t take anything Shawn says to heart. So you didn’t, and you continued to rub his arm comfortingly, hands tracing his tattooed arm. 

“I am, I am devastated Shawn but one of us has to stay strong and I’m doing that for you” you pressed your forehead against his. and that was the truth. Your whole life you’ve been grieving — your dead pet fish, your grandparents who passed on one after the other, and your brother who went to the military and died in war. You knew how this works, you knew Shawn needed that lighthouse in the dark in order for him to stay alive. That’s how it was for you every single time, the people around you kept you sane, kept you out of it from wanting to join those that had left. But Shawn didn’t understand this, he couldn’t understand how you were not crying, how you didn’t look like you were in pain. So he pushed you away. 

its the grief, its the grief you repeated to yourself multiple times, hoping that some how or rather, your mind would choose to believe it.  You placed the pyjamas at the end of the bed, and kissed Shawn on the forehead before leaving the room.

“How is he?” Aaliyah asked as you shut the door softly. You shrugged your shoulders, taking her in for a hug so tight, you felt slightly better again. 

“He’s grieving, thats all” you said, ruffling the younger girl’s hair. She nodded linking arms with you as you headed downstairs to the kitchen to make yourself a much needed coffee. Turns out, Karen and Manny has already beaten you to it, an iced coffee sitting on the counter with your name on it.

“You okay?” Manny asked, sliding over a glazed donut to you which you gladly accepted. 

“Yea I’ll be okay, I’ve been there before” you mumbled under your breath, and both Shawn’s parents and Aaliyah nodded their heads, engulfing you in a family hug. the warmth that they all needed, the slightest hint of hope that this wasn't as bad as they felt like it was. 

-

You were dressed in a black long-sleeved dress and if Riley was still here you could hear him say that it was nice and fitting, and you look amazing. You shook your head bringing yourself back to reality as you checked on Shawn in the bathroom. He had his signature black jeans on with a black button down, the one Riley “hated” to see Shawn in because it got him more looks in the club than he did. You sent Shawn a small smile in the mirror as he styled his hair and as you reached forward to touch his hand, Shawn pulled away immediately leaving you behind in the bathroom. he had been avoiding you for the past week and you knew it was the anger and feeling of hopelessness boiling in his bones so you constantly reminded yourself,

it’s part of the grieving, it’s part of the grieving.

as you arrived at the church, your breath hitched as it reminded you of all the past memories that came flooding back. You tried to push them out of your mind shaking the thoughts away as you walked beside Aaliyah and Shawn. A figure of your brother smiling at you would appear in one corner and your grandparents in the other such that it all felt too real. But you kept going. This was Riley’s last goodbye, it was you paying tribute to him, not about you and your thoughts. but the worst part about this was that you couldn’t hold shawn’s hand, or tell him about any of this because he was in pain. So you took a deep breath, and sat down in one of the pews with his family. Like all funerals, this one was solemn too, mentioning how great Riley was, how he had left an amazing legacy behind and that he was taken away too soon. You gulped when you saw another image of your brother in your mind along with all your childhood memories, and your hands trembled slightly on your thigh. Somehow Karen managed to notice this, and she had her hand in yours, gripping onto it tightly. 

When the service ended, Shawn immediate slipped out of the pew to Riley’s parents, leaving you by yourself. you felt the pang in your chest once again but you quickly ignored it, turning your attention to the Mendes family and to Riley one last time to say goodbye. You dropped a white rose into his coffin where he laid to rest, whispering a soft goodbye before leaving down the aisle with Aaliyah. Your hand was in hers as you walked, but when you saw a figure of your brother in front of you again, that was when you lost it. You stopped right in your tracks, yanking Aaliyah slightly. She turned, seeing your face as tears streamed down your cheeks. You knew it was all a hallucination, that whatever you had seen in the hours before was not real but the sight of your brother in his signature jeans and tight fitted white shirt had you breaking down. The thought of losing the people around you - Shawn in particular just came to you like a tsunami. your hand clutched your chest as you let out racked sobs, and soon enough Karen had wrapped her arms right around you. 

“It’s okay baby girl, you’re safe here with me, I’ve got you” Karen whispered softly into your ears. 

“I- I see him- brother… my brother I miss him. I dont want to lose Shawn- I’m sorry” you managed to choke out, and Karen just rubbed circles on your back. 

“Shhh, its okay you’re not losing him honey, I have you baby girl”

Shawn, who was still oblivious to it all, had been dragged by Aaliyah to you. “Liyah, please stop dragging- mom? Y/n?” He stood there in shock, taking in your puffy lips and tear stained cheeks. You shook your head, unable to face the man who was supposed to be there for you, just like you had been for him for the past week. You let your legs carry you as far way from him as possible, black heels hitting the ground under you as you went round the church over looking the city. You let out another sob, calling out for your pet fish, your grandparents, then your brother and then Shawn. 

“I’m here, I’m here” a strong pair of arms wrapped around your waist. You leaned back, still crying out and apologising every few seconds. shawn let you apologise, but still shushed you every few seconds when your voice got louder and more broken. Shawn spun you around so your chest was pressed against his his hot breath on your forehead. You leaned your body on to him, too exhausted by everything. 

“Why didn’t you tell me anything?” He asked, hands smoothening out your messy hair. 

“I told you, one of us has to be strong for the other…” you let out a small smile, brushing your fingers on shawn’s cheeks. He clearly had been crying too, the tear stains and bloodshot eyes evident on his face. “And having gone through this many times before, I’m used to being the strong one. Its just that this time I saw you in pain and yet you kept pushing me away so I couldn’t do anything. That, that hurt and it reminded me so much of myself and my ex when my brother left. I thought you were going to leave me to. And my brother, I saw my brother today…” you continued, keeping your head down. Shawn tilted it right back up so you looked him in the eyes, his hazel brown orbs looking right into yours. 

“I’m sorry babe, I promise never to push you away again” he engulfed you in his signature bear hugs, squeezing you so tightly in his arms. “I promise I’ll be there when you need me, I promise I won’t ever leave you, y/n.”

[renjingujifortheladies]

**update**and happy fall ;) guidelines

im going to reschedule my blog time. i will delete the app from my tablet because it makes me obsessively refresh and feel like its broken in some way. when its not.

ive been only realizing this now but i had close to 1000 subs (even tho most of them inactive or moved or personal blog who followed me once and idk stayed?) and now i  have 800 something. its not the number that bothers me but the fact that these are all those nasty nude girl bot blogs... i really dont care about the number since i myself follow like 30 ppl at most

i checked the last 3 month activity  and in june i had 50 reblogs on threads which is not too shabby in july i had 28 in august i had 5 (granted  i was off for like two weeks) and since the beginning of september i had 9 (i also counted in the inbox replies i did) 

i dont know how anyone is with it but i follow very few people and i even go back to the day before and recognize where my dash was when i went to bed. its compulsive and its bad because i get myself hyped up then i feel shit when i scroll past so many threads that has nothing to do with me. and im not about that. im about the fun and im glad others are having fun. i also remember sending out memes but dont remember to whom and how many. if it was excessive im sorry and if yall dont feel like answering just drop it and delete it.  same goes for threads if you wont feel like something anymore tag me into a thread drop post and the thread and ill just like it and stop waiting on it. 

and this is me saying literally that i have nothing better to do then sit and refresh when i could be (and should be tbh) doing something else. im not being negative about it but i feel like its pointless for me to reblog inbox meme compilations and the like. 

it starts to feel like less as a hobby then a device to torture myself because even over extended period of time i dont get anything. and when i do its unhealthy how hyped i get about it and drop everything i do to reply. 

i think about my ships even though i wait sometimes months for a thread to move forward. i dont lack in ideas and even tried to do just drabbles but i got scared of those even because i think what if the other party will think i interpret their muse in a way they wont portray and drop me completely. (i did get shit for that a long time ago) 

i dont write headcanons even though i think of them often because most of my muses dont even get requested and if by some miracle i get to try them out its literally 3 notes in and never hear from the new partner again. also if i do introduce myself to new blogs i follow and ive stressed this before so many times.... if i get ignored i get pissed. i get pissed if someone follows me then i follow them back and even chat them up and they ignore me unfollow me (without my dumbass noticing because im not about the numbers) and i like their starter call because they are still on my dash and then they spat out a “mutuals only” message i loose my cool. 

i love the people i regularly play with and the reason why im so hesitant to even accept new followers or follow someone when the mood strikes is exactly because im at the end of my rope here. i dont want to hate coming on here because new people ruin my experience and then my friends who actually do bomb threads with me have to deal with my sour ass because others pissed me off. 

 so long story short;

*dont expect me to give you more than 3 weeks waiting time to interact and get something going on if you are new,  * ill come online once a week do all my replies put them into queue and maybe at the most lurk and reblog pictures tagging my partners whos ship it may concern * i wont reblog inbox one liner meme anymore. its pointless and just makes me get upset with myself. (although i will participate in tags if someone tags me) that being said my inbox is open (and empty) and everyone is welcome (yes anon is also welcome) * i wont put out and wont like starter calls. those are the things that break my spirit the most. i dont need a starter to have 3 notes in and never continued.  * i WILL literally drop a thread if i write an extensive reply and get like at the maximum 3 lines of reply. that is the biggest disrespect in my book and im done making exceptions even if we are years long partners. its just rude and you can move your brain a little to write more than a paragraph.  * i WILL block you if you ask for a starter and let it sit after 3 notes in because fuck you thats why. 

i hope you all have a lovely day or night wherever you are , stay safe and stay hydrated. eat fruits and sleep lots.  💝