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#IT'S FRUSTRATING.....but I'd rather make people wait for something I put time and effort into
shima-draws · 1 year
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I had a conversation with my mom about commissions--she’s of the opinion that you shouldn’t have to wait super long to get what you paid for. I’m the opposite; I think artists should be able to take as long as they need to finish a commission, and I’m totally cool with waiting for months even for them to get back to me. Surprisingly enough I’m very patient when it comes to commissioning other people lol. Maybe I just think that way bc I’m an artist myself so I totally get the struggle. (And I also take time with my comms too.) My mom is not an artist so she doesn’t really grasp the amount of time and effort it takes, so she expects results immediately. Which like. I get that too? I dunno. What do you all think? Are you the kind of patient person who’s totally chill with an artist taking months to finish your commission? Or do you want it to be done within a reasonable amount of time, like 2-3 weeks?
#IDK she said that and now I'm stressing about it. LMAO#I put it in my TOS that yeah it'll take me a bit. Bc well. Real life happens#And sometimes it's hard to sit down and pump out art you know?#But some people don't understand that. Some people want what they paid for right away#WHICH IS FAIR. I'm not saying that's unreasonable#Scratches my head idk my anxiety's already high today so I'm worrying about this too now. Nfamkdasmdsa#Anyway to all my commissioners who have waited months for me to finish theirs: You have the patience of a saint.#And I appreciate you so so so much.#Especially to that one person who's waited for SO long now. I swear to god I'm going to finish it this week#There's definitely a line to be drawn with how long people are willing to wait#AND SAD AS IT IS TO SAY. I've crossed that line before.#Keeping a consistent schedule with life and art for fun and commissions is difficult for sure 😤#IT'S A BALANCE. It's really a balance!#Shima speaks#Actually the biggest thing for me. Is I want to put the effort in#I don't want to half ass it. I want it to look GOOD#So I never try to force myself to do comms. Bc that's not fair to me or the person who commissioned#They deserve my best effort and my best work!!#The issue is that I'm not always in that headspace to tackle comms and put in the work that's needed#IT'S FRUSTRATING.....but I'd rather make people wait for something I put time and effort into#Rather than something half-assed. You know??#So that's a big part of it too;; why people have to wait a bit sometimes#Rubs my temples#I'm probably overthinking this WAY too much lol. Sorry it's been a stressful day
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I wouldn't want to post stuff to just invite people not to like it. I'd rather them leave, then have the space to do that, knowing others who enjoy it will see it. I encourage you to if you feel that works to kick them out, but once there gone and grow the fuck up and accept that they need to stop with posting Everlark/Peeta stuff then I will actively engage in things. I hate Peeta so much, hate Everlark so much and they can be shocked all they want, they should just stop creating their stupid, boring shit for everyone to see. The fandom can actually be good, then, with them nonresistant.
These people aren't going to leave, they and their ship has taken over the fandom, and they aren't going to change their ways or their viewpoints anytime soon. Short of hacking tumblr and deactivating their accounts, there's no quickfire way to make them leave or "kick them out" of the fandom. And I have no desire to go around bullying people and sending hate and overall trying to be hostile over some fictional characters/a ship and the people who like it. I'm not going to exert even one iota of effort on those people. They mean very little to me, and I'm going to treat them like it.
Expanding the fandom is the way to go. If you don't want to participate in that, that's completely understandable, and completely your choice. But if you think you can wait around for things to get better, you'll be waiting a long time. You have to put in effort to make things get better. I know it's frustrating, but that's what it is. If we want something, we are going to have to do it ourselves, because the current fandom certainly isn't going to do anything to accommodate us, and that includes leaving or becoming "non-resistant." Besides, there are people out there who do like the stuff I post. There's just not a lot of them!
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Interim Report
Long time no see. I haven't posted a reflection on here in a while, mainly because I haven't been able to make a lot of definitive conclusions since I last wrote, but I think I have enough thoughts now so here goes.
'Hey! How are you?' is the precursor to my most frequent lie, or half lie I suppose, because I reply with, "yea not bad, yourself?" Because, truthfully, I really don't think I've ever been happy. My baseline emotion is despair, with a dash of distracted, here and there (it's like scrolling your social media feed, flicking through tv channels, or having a look at what's on food delivery apps), and these days I genuinely can't bring myself to tell others that I feel better now, because it's never been true. It's bleak, that I can really see myself being the extremely sardonic book character that chronically struggles with depression among other things, and eventually loses out.
There are so many reasons as to why I feel this way, and I imagine a couple more are waiting to be discovered, and while putting a label on them has helped me understand it a bit better (names are powerful), it's still only the first step. I like to follow the practice of "yes, and?", which in this case begs the question, "so, why is that?" It's a lot, some of which I did cover previously (add being trans masc to the list), and it's sort of a case where while I've finished processing the events, I haven't exactly understood why I still feel the way I do.
A huge consequence of it is that I feel extremely different to other people, like an alien. I've since found that this is a fairly common feeling among others sharing the same conditions, though I've yet to find people similar to me, not that I need to. I think that if I do though, then maybe they'll be more likely to care, but also be able to make me feel seen and heard, and safe. It doesn't feel likely at the moment, and maybe not ever, but if that's how it is, then I'm okay with it.
Right now, I just feel angry. Angry that I keep opening up to people that weren't right for me, and that it never works out. I'm not really mad at the people, as much as I am about the situation itself, because it's frustrating to be stuck with the same outcomes no matter what I seem to be doing to make things better. I still wonder sometimes, if it's because I did something wrong, or if I'm a bad person, but I know now that I'm just quite weird.
I most likely do miss social cues (it's hard to say unless someone points it out) and overstep unspoken boundaries, but that's absolutely not done out of malice. Besides, I'd rather be weird if it means it's more sustainable for me, rather than constantly having to keep my actions in check (timing my eye contact, making sure I smile and show an appropriate level of emotion at the right times, padding out my words, etc.) because if I'm going to be alone either way, I'd rather be myself.
It means that I've been able to spend time getting to know myself, what I like and dislike, what I believe in, and so on. And it's enough to know that I've done right by my principles so far. While the situations that I've faced so far haven't been great, I don't believe that I could've avoided it (because I've done my best). I haven't been negligent in my efforts to improve my circumstance, constantly finding new ways of thinking about the problems and trying it out, and that's all that I really can do (or should be expected to do).
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You know? They're not my favorites but I would totally be down for a Asmo or Beel centered lesson. They kinda get shoved to the side too. I know Asmo had that little bit with the shadows section of 70 but a whole lesson of either of them I'd eat right up 😊 I loved Satan's centered lesson.
Yes I would love more lessons centered around them!
Though I'd argue that Levi should be the one who gets a centered lesson first.
Asmo and Beel both got lessons that more or less focused on them and their issues (Asmo's pact lesson, the popularity contest lesson and lesson 70) (Beel's pact lesson - where he opened up about Lilith, Thirteen's cave lesson, in S3 when Beel opened up about his backstory, a look at his greatest fear at the end of S3) but the closest we got to something like that with Levi was in the karaoke lesson with Diavolo.
We very rarely get to dig deeper into Levi as a character. Even his pact lesson was about TSL, rather than delving into his character like most of the others had. And in S2 when everyone was fighting and resolving their problems and so getting deeper character moments because of it, Levi was just chilling??
The other person I think we should get a focused lesson on is Mammon.
No. No. Wait. Listen to me first. I swear this isn't just me being a simp.
We have had many, many Mammon focused lessons.
But how many of them actually focused on his problems?
Even Levi's karaoke lesson focused on a couple of his problems. But Mammon, despite his very obvious issues, is always the problem solver and never gets to talk about himself.
(I'm talking about his problems with his family & the celestial realm not MC. Those two have no issues with talking and soothing things out between them)
We've had moments that skimmed some of these problems but we've never got a resolution like we did with the others:
• In S2 when he called out Lucifer. (He basically said that even if he put effort into something and did something good it'd never be enough for Lucifer) All the others got to talk and make up with the brother they fought with, while Mammon & Lucifer just ignored each other for a while and then went back to normal
• In S3 he says he holds no grudge against the Celestial Realm & Michael, then almost immediately proves himself wrong and we just never talk about that again?
And that's the closest we've ever gotten to talking about Mammon's deeper feelings/emotions/issues
And as frustrating as that is, it also infuriatingly makes sense story wise because Mammon's character in this regard can be easily summed up in that one Devilgram:
They had just Fallen. Aka lost their sister, lost their home, their bodies and magic had changed, they were now living with the people they had considered their mortal enemies throughout their entire lives, their desires were suddenly so much stronger and considered sins etc. Everyone was taking their time to feel all of that. The grief and self hatred and self doubt. Even Lucifer. Everyone except Mammon, who instantly went from looking after his younger brothers and soothing their nightmares to comforting and reassuring his older brother. Did he ever stop and take time for himself? To process things?
I'd bet anything that the answer is No.
This also feels connected to his inability to accept apologies without turning it around and accepting blame for whatever happened.
So it makes sense that he's never had his big emotional breakdown/moment in the story the way everyone else has because it's literally part of his character to lock up all his own problems and focus on everyone else
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SIR, PLEASE. STOP. GET SOME HELP. GO TO THERAPY.
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helloalycia · 3 years
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The Wrong Lifetime – Five // Wanda Maximoff
chapter four | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad | chapter six
author’s note: dying of cramps but didn’t wanna leave y’all hanging, so enjoy! x
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Taking Wanda to Blackpool was something I couldn't stop thinking about for the past three days.
I kept telling myself that I had to remain calm, not make her feel uncomfortable with my obvious attraction to her, and to give her the best day out considering she'd never been before. It wasn't anything more than a girl spending time with her soon-to-be sister-in-law, and I had to keep reminding myself that whenever I'd feel a stir of desire in my chest at the thought her pretty smile or intoxicating gaze.
My family were thrilled when they heard of my plans with Wanda. My parents were glad I was actually making an effort to get on with her, whilst my brother was excited I was becoming 'best friends', as he put it, with his fiancé. That one stung a little, the guilt pricking my insides, but I convinced myself that that was exactly what I was doing. It wasn't wrong if I didn't think of Wanda in any way but what she was. Right?
The weekend came around quickly enough, and on Saturday morning, I met with Wanda at the train station where she waiting for me with an enthusiastic smile.
"I brought my watercolours and sketchbook so I can paint what's there," she explained as we boarded the train. "I also bought a lot of pencils in case some snap. I'm gonna draw everything I see so I don't forget a single thing."
We slid into our seats and I smiled with admiration as she continued to ramble about all of the things she wanted to do today. She looked so lively when she spoke, her hands moving about frantically to express her excitement, and her lips permanently etched into a smile when she wittered on. I didn't mean to stare, but God, she looked beautiful.
"Thank you again for doing this," she finished, head turning to mine.
Now, I'd read and written many clichés of someone falling for someone else, particularly the moment they knew they were too far gone. It was hard to believe if they were true depictions of liking someone, but I liked reading and writing them.
It was now that I learnt that they were no exaggeration, for when she looked my way with a beaming smile and glowing green eyes, I knew it was too late. There was no going back for my attraction to Wanda.
"No need to thank me," I spoke slowly, surprised I could speak at all since she'd knocked the breath from my lungs. "I'm glad you're excited."
The journey was a few hours long and we made conversation the whole way. It was the longest I'd spent alone with her since meeting her and I was intrigued by everything she had to say, hanging onto every word with all of my attention. If that wasn't enough, her accent only made everything she said sound so much better. She was naturally soft-spoken, but syllables rolled off her tongue in a silky, raspy way with her accent entwined in her words. I loved it.
At one point, the topic of our families came up and I felt like my brother came up in almost every conversation I'd had with anyone who discussed family, so I took this as my opportunity to get to know hers instead.
"What's it like to have a twin?" I asked, leaning on my elbow as I watched her attentively.
She mirrored my action playfully, though answered my question. "It's just like having a normal sibling, except they're way more annoying."
I smiled, imaging just how annoying Pietro could be as a sibling.
"I love Pietro, but he's very frustrating at times," she spoke with a hint of endearment. "He constantly throws it in my face that's he's older than me by twelve minutes. As if that makes a difference."
A chuckle flew from my lips as she pouted at her own words.
"But he's also my best friend," she said with a sigh, like that fact was irritating in itself. "He knows me better than anyone and he's the easiest person for me to talk to. I don't have to hide anything from him." She paused, glancing upwards in thought. "Well, almost anything."
Pursing my lips, I wondered what she meant as she mumbled the last part, but didn't question it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets.
"So, you and your family moved to England when you were kids, right?" I tried to recall what my parents had told me of them. "From Sokovia."
"Yes, we were about..." She scrunched up her nose as she tried to remember. "Eight years old, I think?"
"Wow, that's young," I realised.
She hummed in agreement, smile fading as her eyes fell to her hands. "Yeah... I don't remember much, but there was a lot of unrest at the time. A war. It was dangerous for everyone and my parents were lucky to get us out when they did."
I frowned, knowing some of this already, but it was sadder to hear when it was coming from Wanda herself.
"Our extended family didn't make it out," she continued to explain, voice quieter. "I didn't know them much, my parents' siblings, so it's not that sad for me. Pietro, too. But it's strange to think, you know? Especially when all of your family are around with this wedding and–" She sighed, shaking her head and looking to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down."
I straightened up, reassuring her instantly. "Wanda, you don't need to apologise. It's okay. I... I didn't know any of that. I'm glad you told me."
She nodded, though the regret was still present in her gaze.
"I'm sorry all of that happened," I expressed honestly, not looking away. "But I'm glad you're here, if it makes a difference. You– your family are good people."
A small, appreciative smile graced her lips. "Thank you."
I shrugged, trying to brush it off so she wouldn't notice the heat rising up my neck. "It's nothing... so Sokovia. You speak Russian and English. That's pretty bloody cool."
She laughed wholeheartedly and any hint of sadness disappeared from her face, reassuring me completely. I didn't like to see her sad, especially when there was nothing I could do to make her feel better that I knew of.
"I promise to teach you some Russian today," she said with amusement. "A few words, just to diversify your vocabulary."
"Gee, thanks."
Another laugh escaped her and I chewed on my lip to contain my grin. I could get used to that sound.
When we reached Blackpool, Wanda was radiating with excitement. We couldn't make it two steps anywhere before she whipped out her sketchbook and began to sketch. She wasn't kidding when she said she was going to capture everything she saw.
I was patient, since the reason we came was for her, and watched as she worked. It was cute, seeing her concentrate and trying to stop dancing around with excitement every time I showed her something new.
We walked along the promenade and dipped in and out of the shops, looking at the gifts and clothes they sold. We bought a few things to commemorate the trip, but then Wanda was quick to drag me back outside so she could sketch the view of the beach from where we were stood. The grin on her face was convincing enough for me to let her drag me wherever she wanted. She looked so happy and I didn't care about anything else.
Eventually, around lunchtime, we headed to a café to have a break from all the excitement. Or rather, a break from running around. For Wanda, it was a better opportunity to sit still and sketch some more.
"So, you're drinking what, Y/N?" she asked, not looking up from her sketches as she worked.
I looked at my tea and lowered the cup. "Er, tea?"
"In Russian," she instructed.
"Oh." I cleared my throat, remembering what she taught me earlier. "Chay."
"And what's in the chay?" she asked, lifting her eyes to meet mine patiently. "The milk?"
"Moloko," I remembered, and the proud smile on her face reassured me I was correct. My shoulders relaxed as I returned her smile. "Thanks."
"You're a natural," she assured me, before looking back to her sketchbook. "I only taught you the words. You remembered it yourself. And before you know it, ty budesh' govorit' polnymi predlozheniyami na russkom."
My mouth opened with confusion, not knowing what she said. She seemed to realise as she chuckled at my expression.
"Never mind, milaya (darling)," she said with humoured eyes, before resuming her sketching.
I breathed out, taking another sip of my tea before grabbing a fork to dig into my pasta. As I chewed, I watched Wanda move her pencil effortlessly, creating lines that somehow resulted in a perfect drawing of the horizon.
"Do you only draw and paint landscapes?" I asked curiously.
"I can do portraits, too," she answered with a nod, glancing at me. "But they're never as good."
I gave her a knowing look. "I doubt that."
She merely smiled in response, eyes meeting mine for a moment, before shaking her head with amusement and looking back to her sketches. I chuckled, leaving her to it as I enjoyed my lunch and read the newspaper.
It was nice to just sit and enjoy each other's company as we did our own thing. I'd occasionally glance up to see Wanda focused on her drawing and smile, allowing myself to appreciate the sight, before looking back down to the paper and enjoying my pasta.
By the time I finished my food, as had Wanda, she straightened up and tore a page from her sketchbook. The noise pulled me from my reading and I looked up to see her holding the paper towards me.
I quirked a brow, but she simply shook the paper, signalling for me to take it. With confusion, I took it and became speechless when I saw what she'd drawn. It was me reading the paper, the exact view she must have had from being sat opposite me. It looked exactly like me, probably better since I knew I didn't look that good, and I was amazed at her talent all over again.
"You did this just now?" I asked with disbelief, looking up at her.
She shrugged and distracted herself with her pencil. "Yeah, it's not much. It's not my specialty."
I scoffed. "You're kidding. Wanda, this is amazing!"
Bashful smile on her lips, she glanced up at me. "Maybe it's the best portrait I've done. But I think that's down to my subject."
Even when she was embarrassed, she was still capable of turning the tables on me, leaving me a flustered mess. It was like her superpower. A very annoyingly cute superpower.
"That's what you look like y'know," she continued, nodding to the paper in my hand. "When you're focused on reading. You chew your lip with thought. And you get this little crease–" she pointed between her brows with a laugh, "–right here, and you seem to forget that anything else exists."
A sweet smile spread on her face as she tilted her head, watching me with intimidating eyes, very much aware of the effect her words had on me.
"You're very observant," I said, trying not to stutter, her gaze making me nervous. "Perfect skill for an artist."
She hummed in agreement, though didn't look away. "Mere artistic observation, right?"
My heart was hammering in her chest the longer she stared, especially when her words dawned on me. I'd said the exact same thing after she confronted me about picking her ring. I wondered if she could hear my heart pounding in my ears.
Just like the first time I saw her, I was at a loss for words and couldn't look away. She was compelling, beautiful and remarkable all at once.
"Nebo," I said, hoping it was the correct word for 'sky' in Russian, as Wanda had taught me.
She grinned. "Yes! And horizon?"
I pulled a face as I thought carefully. "Er...gorizont?"
"The student is soon to become the master," she said, and I rolled my eyes, knowing that was anything but the truth. I appreciated her encouragement though.
"Okay, before we head to the beach, we have to buy some rock," I told her, leading her to the stall on the promenade. "I got it last time and it's so good."
She furrowed her brows. "What's that?"
I smiled at her expression. "It's a sweet. Kind of like boiled sugar that's formed into a stick of, well, rock."
She didn't seem convinced. "If you say it's good, I trust you, I guess..."
I laughed, grabbing her hand and tugging her to the stall. "You'll love it."
After getting two sticks of rock for Wanda and I, we began to walk to the sand. I glanced at the brunette, wanting to see her reaction. She eyed the hard candy before attempting to bite it, a small piece breaking off at the top. Crunching on it, she scrunched her nose up.
"It's hard," she noted, swallowing the piece. "Tasty, though."
"It's better if you suck on it, love," I let her know with a hidden smile. "Tastes much better."
She did as I said, beginning to suck on the top, and seemed to enjoy it more. Giving me a thumbs up as she sucked it, I couldn't help but laugh again. She looked adorable, so I left her to it and did the same as we walked along the sand and towards the benches in the distance.
Like a child experiencing something for the first time, she began to point excitedly at Blackpool Tower and the ferris wheel in the distance and I just kept nodding along, letting her get excited because it made my heart skip a beat every time she flashed me a smile.
When we reached the benches, I was glad that today wasn't a busy day. It wasn't exactly tourist season, so the beach was scarce of anyone but residents of the town. And even then, our side of the beach was pretty empty, giving us first dibs on a bench that wasn't broken or uncomfortable.
Settling on it, Wanda pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged so she could lean on them and pull out her watercolours. I sat beside her and leaned back, inhaling the salty air and exhaling peacefully. I never had much reason to visit here apart from when my parents took my brother and I on the occasional trip, but it was nice to appreciate the sound of the ocean washing over the sand and the seagulls squawking in the sky. A big difference compared to back home.
Another silence formed between us as she painted the water ahead, and I couldn't help but glance her way, watching her pucker her lips with concentration. All she'd wanted was this and I was glad I could finally give it to her.
So she wouldn't notice, I looked away and stared out at the blue expanse of ocean before me. I should have been appreciating its beauty, but all I could think about was how it was no contest to the girl sat beside me.
"I'm really glad you brought me here today," she said out of the blue after a while, "but I wouldn't have said yes if I'd known you would be bored."
I looked to her and saw she was still preoccupied by her painting. "I'm not bored. We came here so you could see the water and find some new subjects to paint. And that's exactly what we're doing."
She sighed, looking up at me with a questioning glance.
Smiling reassuringly, I said, "I like the quiet. And I like watching you work. You look happy. It's good to see."
She tensed her jaw, stifling a smile, but her eyes said it all. She was grateful. Of course, her eyes were also very easy to get lost in, even if she didn't mean for me to. And right now, under the sun, I found myself drowning in pools of blue.
"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly, a hint of a smile on her face.
Stupidly, I felt compelled to tell her the truth. "I'm thinking about how you have really pretty eyes."
Attempting to make me flustered yet again, her favourite hobby by now I was guessing, she raised a brow teasingly. "Oh, really?"
It didn't bother me this time though, as I maintained eye contact and felt my heart swelling with adoration. "Yes. It's like you hold all the elements in a single gaze."
Her smile faded and that's when I realised what I'd said, my heart dropping to my stomach in an instant. Swallowing hard, I looked away and shook my head. An apology was waiting on the tip of my tongue when she spoke with realisation.
"It was you."
I glanced her way nervously. "What was?"
She was staring like her mind was working something out and I was the missing piece. "The letter that Y/B/N gave me last week. He wrote the exact same thing. What you just said."
My brows knitted together with confusion, then it hit me. The love letter Y/B/N wrote. The one he assured me was for his own eyes. He'd given it to her. And I'd just gone and said the exact thing he'd written on it, no doubt passing it off as is his own words.
"Th–that wasn't me," I got out, shaking my head slowly. "I didn't even know he gave you a letter, Wanda."
She continued to watch me, eyes squinting with scepticism. I swallowed hard under her gaze, trying to think of how I could come back from this. But apparently I didn't have to, because she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to mine.
My mind was foggy when her fingers rested behind my neck, tugging me closer. I closed my eyes, melting at her touch, and began to kiss her back, moving my lips against hers. She was slow and gentle with me, her lips as soft as they looked and sending the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy. I could have kissed her forever and been content, but my brain finally caught up to my actions and I reluctantly pulled away, stunned.
Glancing around to make sure nobody saw us – there was literally nobody here – I caught my breath and looked back to Wanda. Her eyes were drawn to my lips before they flickered to meet mine, darkened with desire.
"Why did you do that?" was all I could think to ask, and I was acutely aware of her fingers still grasping my neck, the skin burning where her tips grazed.
She licked her swollen lips, expression softening. "I think I've been falling for the wrong Y/L/N."
My lips pressed together, missing the feeling of hers against them. Never in a million years did I expect her to say something like that. I thought she'd been teasing me this whole time, but now, maybe there was truth to her actions.
"Did you really mean what you said?" she asked apprehensively.
"What?"
She swallowed. "What you said about my eyes. Did you mean it?"
Well, she'd kissed me, so there was no going back now.
I nodded, noticing the hesitance in her eyes. "Yes... you're beautiful, Wanda."
She didn't say anything and the silence was deafening. I almost wanted to run back home and pretend this never happened, but that was the cowardly side of me. The other side, the disbelieving side, wanted to stay here with her and keep living in this little bubble we'd created.
"Can I kiss you again?" she finally spoke, eyes flickering between mine for confirmation.
Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded slowly, and she didn't waste another second as she leaned in once again. This time, I wasn't so surprised, so I kissed her back quickly, trying not to think about how wrong this was. How I'd been taught that this was wrong. Because I refused to believe this was wrong, that it was a sin, when it felt so damn right.
Wanda felt right.
When I got home later that afternoon, I couldn't stop myself from smiling.
Wanda was all that was on my mind. Everything about her was floating around up there – the contagiousness of her smile, the brightness of her eyes, the taste of her lips. When I left this morning, I wasn't expecting to return with– well, I wasn't sure what we were, but we'd decided to give whatever this was a go.
Of course, she was still engaged to my brother, but I tried not to think about that. She made me happy and maybe in a different lifetime we could have been together, but this was the wrong lifetime which meant I'd have to make some wrong decisions, this possibly being one of them.
The guilt was still present, but the adoration I had for Wanda overpowered it. The fact that she actually liked me back was too thrilling for me to even concern myself with the lack of future this relationship would have. I just wanted to enjoy what we had whilst we had it, even if it meant being together in secret.
"So, how did your trip go?" my mum asked me when I returned, looking up from her knitting.
I stifled my grin the best I could. "It was fun. Wanda loved the seaside."
My mother seemed pleased as she smiled my way. "Y/N, that's great. You know, I'm really proud of you for making an effort with her. It means a lot to everyone."
"Mhm."
"She's going to be your sister-in-law after all," she continued knowingly, "so it's good you're spending time with her. Maybe you could do it more."
I hummed in agreement, my heart fluttering at the possibility of spending more time with Wanda. "Yeah, that could be good."
"Go on upstairs, you must be tired from the travelling," she said after a moment, noticing my distant headspace. "I'm glad you had fun today."
Wanda's smile appeared in my mind again, her lips ghosting my own. I sighed contently.
"Me, too."
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luckystarchild · 2 years
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I'm seriously about to cry.
Found this (EXTREMELY NICE) note in my FFnet inbox today:
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This is in regards to Queen of the Backwater Moon, my Jet/OC Cowboy Bebop fanfic. I updated not too long ago, but the fandom is pretty quite these days, and thus it didn't get a lot of reads... and then, out of nowhere, that appeared in my inbox.
TBH, Queen might be my favorite story on my fanfiction profile. I don't often praise my own work, but I genuinely think it's going to be the best fic I've written once I'm done with it. The fact that it's for a very small fandom with very few active readers is a bit sad, because if there's one story I'd like to share with people, it's that one. The irony of your best work existing in a space where no one will read it is like cooking the meal of a lifetime for a table consisting of yourself. It's satisfying to know you've made something you think is worth eating, but it's frustrating you don't have anyone to share it with.
And I'm gonna be honest here: Writers always trot out the oh-so-noble "Write for yourself, not for others' validation!" line when talking about writing, and while there is wisdom in that sentiment, I am neither noble nor wise. When I'm proud of something, I want to share it with others. I want to feel like my work means something. And there's nothing wrong with that, imo.
Buuuut that means writing for a small fandom with very few active participants can be... draining. Because you're putting in time and effort and sweat and tears, but the emotional payoff isn't high. Writing short fics in a super popular fandom can get you validation in spades, but writing longfic into the void of a rather dormant fandom? Mostly what you get back is an echo of your own enthusiasm. It begins to feel like you're the only person in that fandom's sprawling galaxy, out drifting in the darkness alone.
And then you get PMs like that one.
I wish I could bottle this feeling and sell it, because I'd make a fortune.
While I haven't worked consistently on Queen, I've put in a lot of work, time, hours and tears. Every single comment on that fic is a HUGE VICTORY as a result, and this PM... oh god, this PM. This is exactly what I mean when I say I enjoy validation. Someone out there wanted to read Bebop fic, and there mine was, waiting for them in that quiet fandom. I'm not screaming into a void; someone is floating along with me in the vacuum of Bebop space. Neither of us is alone. We're here, together, seeking out stories about characters we love, millions of miles apart but standing beside each other just the same. There's just something so magical in that feeling of connection.
When I say I like validation, I don't mean I need my ego stroked. I just need to know my work meant something to someone, no matter how small. And even if I never hear from the reader again, I'm gonna carry this weight with me for a long, long time.
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Enormous thanks to this PM-sender, because while I always intended to finish Queen, this makes me want to write a little faster. Knowing they're out there in the darkness, too, waiting for company... I know the feeling of being alone, and I don't want to leave them out there, drifting, for long.
Thanks again, friend. This absolutely made my day. See you in the next chapter of Queen of this Backwater Moon.
28 notes · View notes
2dmenenthusiast · 3 years
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Warmth - a Bakugou x Reader Christmas special
its finally done hhhhhh I love how I was just like “Oh yeah I’ll do a short little fic for Christmas” and then I ended up typing this long ass fic. I mean, its not that long but it took me days to write cuz I lack motivation always so it feels long lmao. Anyways, haven’t wrote for my explodey boy bakugou yet so here it is! Let me know if I gave the reader any specific pronouns or features by accident and I’ll fix it right away! I hope you all enjoy! Please feel free to reblog if you wanna give my fic more exposure, I'd really appreciate it 😚
Summary: You get caught in the middle of a snowstorm, and when you get home, you’re desperately craving the warmth of your exploding, ragey boyfriend. 
Word count: 3.3K
Warnings/other info: swearing, itty bitty reference to sexy times, spoiler for Bakugou’s hero name, just a lot of fluff (you guys are so mean to each other tho lmao)
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You hated winter. Actually, scratch that. Let’s rephrase. You hate snow. No, you had nothing against the actual season. Winter brought you cute Christmas movies and catchy songs, as well as the gift-giving holiday itself. However, snow was a demon, and it could fuck right off. Especially when it was blowing directly into your face like it was now, your snow-covered boots trudging through the thick snow as you held grocery bags in each of your gloved hands. Even though you were wearing a thick winter coat and hat, and had your scarf covering half of your face, you felt like you were about to shiver out of your own skin and god you could barely fucking see with all of this snow going directly into your eyes.
“‘It’s right down the street, y/n, just walk there.’ What am I, fucking stupid?” you muttered.
You had figured it would be better to just walk to the store rather than using up gas or spending money on transportation, and fuck were you dumb for making that decision. Bakugou had warned you too, taking one look outside and telling you it would be better to just go get groceries tomorrow. But noooo, you just had to get it done today. And honestly, it looked like the roads were gonna be shitty for the next few days, so better now than later. Speaking of the roads, there were barely any cars driving on them, which was expected. The plow didn’t look like it had come through yet. However, a vehicle slowly came towards you, going under the speed limit to avoid sliding on the road, and you could hear The Christmas Song playing loudly from inside as it passed. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire? Yeah, the only thing going to be roasting on an open fire was your ass the second you walked through the door. And by an open fire, you meant the heater, which Bakugou better have on full fucking blast, or else you swore you were going to wring his neck.
As your apartment building became closer in view, you doubled your efforts and tried to speed up your pace, but the snow made it almost impossible when it was almost past your shins. Still, you grit your teeth and pushed through, letting out a relieved groan when you walked through the front door of your building and felt heat blast you in the face. Releasing a sigh, your grip tightening on the grocery bags as you traversed up the stairs to your apartment, and when you jammed your keys in the lock and pushed through the door, it was just as you suspected. Too fucking cold.
“He’s dead. He’s a dead man. He knew I was going out in the fucking arctic tundra that is the city right now, but he chose to keep the thermostat at fucking 70 degrees?!” you thought, grumbling to yourself as you set the bags down in the kitchen and marched over to the thermostat.
“Hey, take your fucking boots off, will you? You’re tracking snow.”
You raised your middle finger in the direction the voice came from, not even looking back
at your boyfriend as you turned the dial of the thermostat and watched the numbers go up until you were satisfied. Turning to look at Bakugou with a glare, you said something that he could tell was filled with frustration and anger, but he could barely hear you when you were talking through your scarf, raising an eyebrow as if to silently say, “what the fuck are you saying?” Rolling your eyes, you toed off your boots and hung up your coat, taking off your gloves and hat next before unwrapping your scarf from around your face and neck.
“I said you’re a fucking maniac. How are you not freezing?” you asked, hurrying past Bakugou to your shared bedroom so that you could change into something warmer.
Bakugou just scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched you change. “You remember what my quirk is, right?”
Slipping one of Bakugou’s large hoodies over your head, you let out a sigh. “Oh right, I forgot that along with the ability to blow shit up, you’re also a walking heat box,” you said, throwing the hood over your head as you turned to your boyfriend with a small pout.
He just looked at you with an amused smirk, a single eyebrow quirked as he looked you up and down. He had to admit, he’d never get tired of seeing you in his clothes. Though he quickly became worried when a mischievous grin appeared on your face, and he had no time to react when you were running forward and slipping your hands underneath his shirt, wrapping your arms around his bare torso.
“Gah! Shit, you’re fucking freezing!” he yelled, trying to push you off of him, but you just tightened your hold as you buried your face in his chest. “Hey! Don’t you get comfy, get the hell off of me.”
“But you’re so waaarm,” you whined, looking up at him with cute puppy dog eyes. You weren’t lying, he was very warm, and you’d be damned if you pulled away from him anytime soon.
Letting out a growl through clenched teeth, Bakugou gripped your thighs in his hands and suddenly lifted you, and you let out a noise of surprise, not expecting your feet to come off the ground as your legs automatically wrapped around him so that you wouldn’t fall. Carrying you back into the living room, he threw you on the couch and pinned you with a glare when you tried to move, not walking away until he was certain you wouldn’t get up from that couch. Once he turned his back to you, you sat up on your knees and looked over the back of the couch as Bakugou walked into the kitchen, bending over the reach into one of the bags, and holy fuck his ass in those sweatpants was downright fucking sinful. As the cool kids would say, he was, “double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon.”
“It’s Saturday, and stop staring at my ass, you damn perv,” Bakugou grumbled without looking back at you, and you pursed your lips as you raised your hands in surrender.
“Not my fault you’re so dummy thicc.”
“For the love of god, stop watching TikTok.”
You just laughed and stood from the couch, walking into the kitchen and leaning against the counter as you watched your boyfriend put the groceries away. “You don’t have to do that, you know. I can put them away.”
“Nonsense. You were just out freezing your ass off in the snow. Now get back on that couch before I throw you on it again,” he said.
You smiled at the kind gesture. While Bakugou was often rude and uncouth, not making an effort to hide his frustration or disdain for certain people or things, there was a soft spot deep down in there, and you were lucky enough to be one of the few people he showed it too. Of course, it was hardly willingly. You were persistent as hell, getting under his skin the moment you started going to UA with him. However, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like your persistence.
Letting out a small hum to yourself, you leaned over and pressed your lips against his cheek, his skin warming up under your touch. “You’re cute.”
A light pink dusted his cheeks as you walked back to the couch and plopped down onto the soft cushions, grabbing the fluffy blanket hanging over the back and draping it around your shoulders. No, if anyone in this relationship was cute, it was you. With the way you stole his clothes and just seemed to always make them look better, or made him his bento lunch with cute little notes inside that he secretly kept in his desk and would look at whenever he needed a little pick-me-up. You probably didn’t realize how much he noticed every little thing you did, but he did, and it made him fall more in love with you every day. Of course, he wasn’t very eloquent and it was hard for him to express how he felt with words, but he was a believer in how actions spoke louder.
“Hey, dipstick! You almost done? I’m about to freeze my ass off over here and I need my cuddle buddy,” you yelled from the living room, and Bakugou’s eyebrow twitched as he scoffed, running a hand over his face. You just had to ruin it, didn’t you?
“Yeah, yeah, wait a sec, would you? Not my fault your body can’t regulate temperature like a normal fucking human being.”
Your head popped up, looking over the couch at your boyfriend with an incredulous look on your face. “‘Normal?!’ What about you is normal, Mr. I-get-unnecessarily-ragey-and-blow-shit-up? Hm?”
“Oh and you think you’re so normal when you bought fucking ice cream in the middle of goddamn winter,” he said, holding up the tub of ice cream you recently bought on your trip to the store.
“Ice cream is good for any time of the year! And you have no room to judge me. It could be a hundred degrees out and you’ll be scarfing down a bowl of spicy ramen like it’s your last meal.”
“You don’t hear me complaining about it though, do you?”
You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you pouted. “Jerk. you know, I hope your quirk just one day combusts and you blow up your own face.”
“Fuckface.”
“Asshole.”
“Dumbass.”
“Mama’s boy.”
Eyes widening, he dropped the last grocery bag on the floor and stomped over to the couch. If you were any normal person, you probably would’ve been cowering in fear just from the pro-heroes intense stair. But you had been with Bakugou for a while now, and what “normal” person would date someone whose first draft of their hero name was Lord Explosion Murder anyway? He placed his hands on the top of the couch, looking down at you as you stared up at him with a shit-eating grin on your face.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
“Oh, I think you heard me.”
“Take it back or I’m blowing up all of your Deku shirts.”
You gasped dramatically, placing both of your hands over your heart as you gaped at your boyfriend before narrowing your eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
He didn’t say anything, simply raising an eyebrow at your challenge before walking towards your shared bedroom without another word. Oh. Oh, he was being serious. Scrambling off the couch, you ran after him.
“No! Nononono, wait. Ugh, All right!”
He turned to look at you, one of your shirts of the Pro hero Deku held tight in his fist and a smirk on his face that meant trouble. You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked at the nearby wall, not wanting to see that stupid little grin on his stupid face.
“You… You’re- not a mama’s boy,” you muttered under your breath, coughing to make the words more unintelligible.
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I think I feel my hand warming up a bit.”
“Ugh, fine! You’re not a mama’s boy. Happy?”
Grin widening, he dropped the shirt and walked over to you in long strides, closing the distance quickly and placing his hands on your waist. “See? Was that so hard?”
“Absolutely teeth-pulling,” you said, dropping your head on his chest as he chuckled, bringing a hand up to gently pat your head. Of course, there wasn’t a lot about you two that was so different from each other. You both had a mutual hatred for backing down. He then looked over at the bed where the green-haired hero’s smiling face stared back at him, and he scowled.
“Why do you have so many shirts of that damn nerd anyway?”
“I don’t have that many, Katsu.”
“You have like ten. You don’t have any merch of me.” His grip on you tightened possessively, and if he wasn’t aware of it, you certainly were, smiling against his chest before lifting your head.
“Why would I need merch when I have the real life thing right here?” you asked, poking at his abs. “Besides, it’s not like I bought them. They were gifts whenever he had new designs come out.”
“And you couldn’t just refuse?”
“Even if you have some weird tension with him, that doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with him, dummy.” You lightly flicked his forehead and slipped out of his grasp as you walked back out to the living room, and he followed close behind with furrowed brows.
“Weird tension? The hell’s that supposed to mean?”
You just looked at him with raised eyebrows and shrugged, dropping down onto the couch before pulling out your phone. It took him a second to understand what you were getting at, and when he did, he wanted to vomit up his lunch.
“Oh, you’re sick.”
You threw your hands up. “I’m not saying I ship it! Your Twitter followers certainly do, though.”
“Yeah well, they’re all weirdos anyway,” he said, sitting down next to you and throwing an arm around your shoulders, and you immediately relaxed into him, content with the warmth he seemed to produce 24/7. “The only person I wanna be…” he grimaced, shaking his head, “shipped with is you.”
You smiled, looking up at Bakugou as you placed your hand on his chest. “I think people would if we didn’t constantly insult each other while we’re out in public. And you know, if you were actually affectionate with me.”
“I’m affectionate!” he yelled, arm tightening around you. “Those damn extras don’t need to see that shit anyway. Not like it’s any of their business.”
You chuckled and moved to straddle Bakugou’s thighs, hands taking their time as you dragged them up his muscular torso and splayed your fingers over his chest. You admired the man below you with a small smile on your face, his hands moving so that they rested on your thighs, giving them a small squeeze, and you watched his tongue swipe over his bottom lip as he seemed to look at you with that same red-eyed intense stare that he always did. Leaning down, you placed a slow kiss against his lips but pulled away before he could deepen it, and he chased your lips with a quiet growl as you let out an amused huff.
“Would you…” You could tell he was hesitant, never knowing how to properly express what he wanted to say, especially when he was feeling vulnerable. You placed your lips against his cheek, gently holding his face in your hands to try and reassure him. “Would you like me to be more affectionate in public? Would that… make you happy?”
Brows furrowing, your lips formed into a frown as you sat back, hands slipping into his. “Katsu… we’ve been together since our high school days. If I had any complaints, wouldn’t I have voiced them by now?” He opened his mouth, but you didn’t give him the chance to respond, grabbing his face again. “Listen to me for a second. Despite what people think about your rough edges and your unpleasant attitude-”
“Watch it.”
You smiled. “I wouldn’t change a damn thing about you. Your random outbursts, your sailor mouth, your shitty nicknames for all of our friends. Those things are what make you Bakugou Katsuki. Not some shitty tabloid with that stupid headline that’s like “Ten things to know about Pro Hero Dynamight!” or whatever. They’re all bullshit. No one sees the side of you that I get to. No one sees the big softie that you really are.” You lightly poked Bakugou’s chest with a giggle, and he swatted at your hand.
“Hey, I’m not soft, you dumbass,” he grumbled, and you just laughed as you leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his neck, resting your forehead on his shoulder.
“Keep telling yourself that.”
You heard him sigh and felt his arms wrap around you, happy in his strong embrace. There was nowhere you felt safer than in Bakugou’s arms. They were always there to hold you at night, or to pull you into a hug when you were feeling upset. You loved his arms, but you loved him in general. Everything about him always had butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. When he would gaze at you like you were the only other person in the world, or when he’d come home after a particularly rough day, and you’d offer to help him relieve some stress, but he’d insist that the only thing on his mind at the moment was you underneath him while he memorized and tasted every inch of you. Yeah, you were a love-struck idiot, but so was he. Maybe even more so.
You were brought out of your thoughts when the lights started to flicker before going out, and you waited a few seconds for them to come back on, but they never did. Are you fucking kidding me?
“Um… Katsuki?”
“Hm.”
“Please tell me our power didn’t just go out.”
“Our power didn’t go out.”
You smacked his chest. “Don’t be a smartass.”
“Then don’t say stupid shit.”
You let out a groan before whining out his name, and he sighed as he lifted you off of him and walked into the kitchen to grab his phone. It was like you could already feel the cold seeping back into the apartment through the cracks in the doors and windows, and you shivered as you grabbed the blanket from before and wrapped it around your body. Bakugou then came back into the living room, letting out a sigh and tossing his phone onto the couch.
“Some idiot driving in this shit-storm hit a pole and took down a transformer. Power won’t be back until the morning.”
Great. Just magnificent. Who the fuck decides to drive in a snowstorm? Letting out a huff, you stood and went to the kitchen to find a lighter before lighting every candle you two had, hoping they would provide enough light for the night. After making sure at least one candle was in every room, you went back to find Bakugou gathering all the blankets he could and raised an eyebrow.
“What? We both know our comforter won’t be enough to warm your shivering ass.”
“But I have you, don’t I? My personal heater,” you said, rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet as you smiled.
Bakugou scoffed. “Yeah, can’t wait for you to suck all the heat out of me.”
“Oh piss off. You love my cuddles.”
Before he could give you another snarky remark, you turned on your heel and walked to your bedroom, pulling back the covers and immediately tucking yourself underneath them. But of course, it wasn’t warm enough. When Bakugou walked into the room, you stuck a hand out from under the blanket and made a grabbing motion, and he just chuckled at you before throwing an extra blanket on top of you and climbing underneath the covers to lay next to you. You immediately sought him out, desperate for his warmth as you wrapped yourself around him and nuzzled into his chest, and his arms looped around you as he tangled your legs together.
“Christ, you’re fucking freezing,” he grumbled.
“Shut up and hold me tighter,” you said voice muffled as you spoke into his chest, and he did as you asked, his arms tightening around you as you let out a content sigh. 
Relaxing in the silence, you felt yourself begin to grow more tired with each second that passed, and your boyfriend seemed to relax as well, which was rare for him. You both were perfectly content, dozing off in each other’s embrace.
“... So should I get a mistletoe for the apartment?”
“Dear god, shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”
223 notes · View notes
gold3nfics · 3 years
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Anachronism {Chapter Two}
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Author's note: I feel like this chapter is kind of short but, as promised Y/N has made an appearance.
[Also, can we talk about Jungkook's live??? Are y'all still recovering from it? Because I am and will be for a while lol]
Word Count: 2,532
They all made direct contact with the ground underneath them, drawing out groans and grunts of pain among them.
“Did the book say anything about the portal giving us a concussion?” Yoongi asks while slowly getting up from the hard ground.
Namjoon sighs at his dry comment and slowly moves to help Jungkook stand up. Once the other’s vision becomes clearer and less blurry, they take in what is around them.
“Where are we?” Jungkook asks, noticing the open area around them.
It appeared that they were standing in what could have been an open field if it wasn't for a large part of it that lacked grass and was black. Hoseok stepped forward and kneeled in front of the dark spot and touched it.
“It seems that there had been a fire,” he said, rubbing the dried and burnt remains of the field between his fingers, ��that’s unfortunate. This looks like it could have been a wonderful place to see.”
Yoongi furrows his brows, “Which way do we even go? The portal was supposed to bring us to who we are looking for, but all I am seeing is nature. Or, well, what is left of it.” The boys glance around trying to see if they can find anything similar to a path, but once they do they all notice a light coming from the inside of their left hands.
Jimin looks down at his hand, “Please tell me your marks are also glowing, or else I am going to freak out.”
The boys say nod in response; Namjoon decides to walk forward, but then the light ceases. Furrowing his brows, he steps back and turns his body to the left, causing the mark to glow slightly again.
“It’s like a compass,” he states with amazement evident in his tone and looks up at the others, “we will just walk in a certain direction and if it keeps glowing, then we are on the right path to finding them.”
The boys nod in understanding and all begin to walk together down the field. Their marks eventually lead them to a road that goes in the direction of a small town up ahead of them. The boys abandon looking at their marks to take a good look at the town in front of them. It is still pretty early in the morning so really, the only people out and about are older individuals.
Once they are walking on the sidewalks of the town, they notice the people there looking at them weirdly, “Why are they looking at us like that?” Jungkook asks.
Jin chuckles, “Look down, our clothing doesn’t exactly fit in. So of course they would be looking at us weirdly.”
“Well, we will just need to find new clothes then, won’t we?” Taehyung smirks and sprints off into a small shop he had been eyeing with the boys following behind him.
“Wait! Taehyung! Don’t run so fast!” Hoseok yells after him.
Once they arrive at the store, they find Taehyung speaking with an older man at the counter.
“Sir, we just need some clothes because in case you haven’t noticed,” Taehyung gestures towards his body, “ours are not suitable.”
The man sighs in frustration, “I told you before and I will tell you again.” he crosses his arms, “If you have no money, you may not have anything from here.”
“But we-” Yoongi steps in and cuts Taehyung off
“We are very sorry sir. Please excuse my friend’s behavior,” The man moves his gaze to meet Yoongi whose pupils narrow in on him, “we are new to town and would really just like to keep a low profile.”
The man stills, “I am sure you understand, right?”
“I do. You know what? It is fine. I suppose you boys getting what you need won’t be any trouble. We get plenty of business on the weekends so we will not be hurting much.” The man smiles warmly and turns to walk to the back of the store.
The boys all look at Yoongi confused, “How did you do that? I tried explaining the same thing, but he looked like he was close to smacking me.” Taehyung says.
“Yeah, you’re usually not good with people; let alone convincing them.” Hoseok states. Yoongi shakes his head, “I don’t know, something just came over me. It was like I was speaking to him, but I was also in his mind controlling the conversation.”
“Are you serious?!” Jungkook exclaims, “Yoongi, that's your power.”
The boys look at the youngest, “Mind control. Remember? Ara said that we all have certain abilities and that we would have to find them on our own; mind control is yours Yoongi.”
“Okay well we can discuss powers later,” Namjoon speaks up and moves towards one of the full racks of clothing, “for now just get the things you need so we can get a move on.”
***
“You know,” Jin says before taking a sip of his water and grabbing a fry, “this place may not have the nicest people or the prettiest views, but their food is pretty alright.” the others make sounds and nod in agreement.
After they had changed their clothing and also gathered a few other minor things from the store, Namjoon decided that they should find a place to eat, mostly because he was hungry, but also to sit down and put together a plan.
Namjoon cleared his throat before speaking, “So once we find who it is we are looking for; how should we approach the situation? Does anyone have any ideas?” Jungkook looks at him, “What do you mean?”
Namjoon sighs tiredly, “Well we can’t just go up to them and say ‘Hi, we are from a different realm, and you are bonded to each of us, but that’s a mistake so now you need to come with us so we can save our people.’ ”
Jungkook smiles, “I mean, I'd be down if someone said that to me.”
Namjoon rolls his eyes and sips his drink, “Wasn’t that the same attitude that got you mugged after that girl told you to follow her?”
The others laughed loudly as Jungkook’s cheeks blushed slightly due to embarrassment,
“It wasn’t my fault!” he defended, “She was really cute and I hadn’t even kissed anyone yet at that age.”
Jimin smirked, “At that age? Wasn’t that a few months ago?” Jungkook sent a hard glare Jimin’s way as the others' laughter only increased.
After they had calmed down, Jin looked at Namjoon and shrugs, “If you want my opinion, I think we should just try to sit down with them and explain the situation. I mean we all have the marks and Hanuel’s book as proof, so I don’t think they would have a hard time believing us.”
“Yeah, and if our marks glow when we are near them; I would think that theirs would too. If I didn’t know anything about the circle and saw my hand glowing, I would want answers.” Hoseok adds while observing the people around him.
Namjoon nods in agreement and understanding, “Alright then we will do that, I just hope everything works.”
“It will,” Jungkook smiles and says while reaching for his water, “don’t worry.”
***
After the boys had finished eating, they resumed their search. Their marks had led them in front of what appeared to be a flower shop in a quieter part of town.
As they entered the shop, they couldn’t help but recognize a warm feeling come over their bodies. They all passed it off as being due to the indoor heating, but they knew individually that it was because of something else.
A petite and kind-looking elderly woman had noticed them from behind the counter, “Hello!” she announced with a sweet smile on her face while making her way towards them, “Can I help you boys with anything?”
Jin looks at her and smiles, “Oh no, we are just-”
“Let me guess, you boys are looking for flowers to give to your girlfriends, right?”
Yoongi looks at her shocked and attempts to correct her, “Oh no! You see we are just here looking for-”
“Follow me fellas,” the woman laughs while grabbing Yoongi, Jin, and Hoseok’s arms and leads them away from the others, “in my experience, no men ever come into my shop unless they need flowers as an apology or gift. We actually have some really nice bouquets over here, and they are on sale too!”
Namjoon, Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin all stand there trying to process what just happened,
“Okay, I guess it is just us for right now.” Namjoon looks at the young trio, “You guys try to look on this level of the shop to find them, I’ll look on the second level. Oh! And try not to allow people to see your marks, okay?” The three nod and break off into different directions.
Namjoon makes his way towards the stairs on his left to begin his search. As he is walking up the stairs he looks down at his satchel, that he got from the store, and reaches inside of it to make sure Hanuel’s book is still there. Just as he realizes the book is safe and looks up, he comes face to face with a rather large bouquet of daisies and sunflowers; as well as crashing into the person holding the bouquet. Namjoon is quick to grasp his hands around the person's waist to steady them as well as himself.
“I am so sorry! Are you alright? I was looking at the flowers in this bouquet and I wasn’t watching where I was going.” the person says very fast and worriedly.
However, Namjoon wasn’t making any effort to say anything, mostly because he felt as if he couldn’t form any words. It was as if everything around the both of them had blurred and become silent, and everything that had previously stressed his mind had diminished.
The only thing that was on his mind now, was her.
The slight warmth that he had experienced upon entering the shop was nothing compared to what he felt now. His body had indeed grown warmer, but his heartbeat had increased and everything felt fuzzy. It also didn’t help with how close they were with his hands on her waist, and her left hand holding his shoulder to keep her stable.
The girl in front of him had grown shy and blushed in embarrassment once she realized where her hand was. She went to move away and step back, but was stopped due to the attractive man in front of her not releasing his gentle hold on her waist. Namjoon snapped out his daze once he noticed her moving to step back,
“Oh no! It’s alright, sorry about that. I am pretty clumsy myself and just hope I didn’t hurt you.” Namjoon laughs nervously while rubbing the back of his neck. The young woman looks at him with bright and endearing eyes, and lets out a light laugh; one that causes Namjoon to perk up and smile fondly at.
“Don’t you worry, I’m just glad I had you catch me.” she takes a step down to stand on the same stair as Namjoon, “Usually, I just end up falling and hoping for the best, and that no one saw me.” Namjoon chuckles at that statement.
“Well, I am glad that I could be of help…” he pauses waiting for her to inform him of her name,
“Oh!” she lowers the bouquet she is holding, revealing a small name tag, “Y/N, my name is Y/N. And you are?”
“Namjoon, nice to meet you.” Namjoon smiles, which Y/N returns back.
“Well, I’ll see you around Namjoon.” she begins to descend down the stairs but Namjoon stops her,
“Wait!” Y/N stops and turns around, cute confusion evident on her face, “Do you need any help? My friends are looking around the store, and I am not looking to buy anything, so it is really no bother for me to help you.”
Y/N shakes her head, “Oh, no I couldn’t ask a customer to do that. It’s okay really-”
“You’re not the one asking, I am.” Namjoon cuts her off and walks down to stand next to her.
Y/N looks up at him with eyes that appear as if she is analyzing his own, Namjoon finds that he just can’t help staring into them, “Okay, I suppose I could use the help since my coworker is on his break; follow me!” and that is exactly what Namjoon does.
As he is walking behind her silently, he takes the time to look over her. He takes in the overalls and oversized shirt she is wearing, her hair that is half up and out of her face, and also her attractive physique from the back; but Namjoon would never admit that part.
He also notices the little specks and smudges of dirt scattered on her clothing and arms. This made him smile at the thought of her clumsily repotting plants.
How cute. Namjoon smiles; his admiring is stopped however as they approach a small room and the woman in front of him turns around and places the bouquet on a table beside her. He looks at her with slight confusion, and she smiles, “You strong?” she asks with a slight smirk while putting her hands on her hips.
Namjoon quirks an eyebrow at her question, “Maybe, it depends on the job.”
“Think you can help me move those bags of soil out of that room, to right here?” Namjoon smiles,
“Sure, think you can keep up?” he asks while rolling up his sleeves and moving into the storage type room,
“I don’t know, I am quite the skilled dirt mover.” Y/N responds and laughs as she goes to remove her gloves.
Namjoon stills once he sees Y/N reaching for her gloves, suddenly reminded of why he was here. He takes a quick glance at his mark and notices it is glowing brightly.
Wait a second, shit hold on wait- Namjoon’s thoughts were interrupted by a sharp gasp from Y/N,
“What the hell is this?!” She exclaims loudly while staring at her hand trying to rub it, thinking that it is some hallucination.
Namjoon quickly moves towards her and gently grabs her hand to comfort her, “Hey, it’s okay! You don’t need to freak out, I have it too, see.” he raises his hand showing Y/N the same glowing mark that she had.
Y/N’s eyes widen and Namjoon can see the fear and confusion in her eyes, so he goes to tell her that it’s okay and that she should take a seat; however, his actions were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
Both Y/N and Namjoon look towards the doorway and see three other men, all of which are holding little succulents and have dumbfounded expressions on their faces.
If they had something important to say, they had definitely forgotten what it was once their gaze had set on Y/N.
“Hey guys,” Namjoon clears his throat and moves away from Y/N awkwardly, “this is Y/N.”
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adhd-adept · 3 years
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I have self diagnosed adhd and i was wondering if you could provide some advice regarding reading. I used to be able to just pick up a book and read when i was younger, but now that I'm older it's a bit difficult to just pick up a book and read for the sake of reading. I love reading, but i just can't seem to motivate myself to.
Any advice? I'd really love to get back into reading, but I'm trying to find a way to do it easier
Hello! I’m sorry this took me so long to answer, I’ve been mostly off Tumblr for a little while. I saw this some time ago at 3AM and thought “this deserves a more coherent response than I can give right now” and then forgot that this blog existed for several days.
That said, I absolutely have some advice for reading! I was a big reader as a kid, too, and I’ve recently had to re-discover reading after a long gap in any time spent sitting down with an honest-to-goodness book. There are a number of things you might consider!
DISTRACTIONS
First and foremost, recognize the reason it is difficult to read! For me, it is because reading isn’t the most interesting thing available. That doesn’t mean I don’t love reading! If I can manage to sit down and read a book, it is immensely satisfying - but it’s the satisfaction of the effort you put into something paying off. My favorite hobbies - drawing, writing, reading - are my favorite because of that sense of accomplishment that they give me. 
I love the feeling of holding a book and watching my bookmark move through the pages each time I set it down. However, it doesn’t give me the same instant gratification of reading wikipedia, or tvtropes, or scrolling Tumblr, or checking notifications on social media; even when I am unsatisfied, or even frustrated, with the internet, it can be very hard to put down. I know that people will tell you all the time “You need to put your phone down more!!” It gets old. But they have a point. What people don’t tell you is how to do that. 
For me, that tends to be about making it inconvenient for myself to get online, or do whatever is distracting me. This doesn’t necessarily mean making it completely unavailable. The distraction just needs to be less available than the task I want to do. I am the kind of person who gets online out of muscle memory, and then gets stuck there. Thus, many of my tricks rely on disrupting the muscle memory that lets you pick up distractions. I will put my laptop charger in another room, so that my screen time is limited to its battery life. I might tie a string around my laptop, or tape it closed, so when I go to open it I will be reminded “Oh yeah, I don’t want to do this right now.” I will occasionally rearrange the apps on my phone, so when I try to open Instagram and end up with the weather app instead, the thought of “wait, how did i get here” will snap me out of the thoughtless habits that led me to pick up my phone in the first place. I’ve even gone so far as to tape my phone to the ceiling. Whatever works.
If the weather permits, I might also walk a little ways down the block and find somewhere to sit and read. This can come with its own distractions, but it gets me away from my laptop, and I get a tiny bit more exercise and sunshine than I would have otherwise! This depends, of course, on whether you have transportation and whether you feel safe. But getting yourself out of the house can be a great way to get away from the things that would otherwise draw you away from reading. If you have a local cafe or library that permits you to sit and stay, those are also great options! I will bring my phone when I leave the house, but I might put it at the bottom of my bag, or put a bit of scotch tape over the power button, so that I have my phone in case of emergency but it’s just slightly inconvenient to get to without thinking about it.
It may not be the internet distracting you. But whatever the distraction is, it doesn’t need to be less compelling than reading. It just needs to be less readily available than your book is!
ENTHUSIASM
Another thing that prevents me from reading is that it often doesn’t have the same sense of urgency that other tasks might, whether that urgency is real or not. Give yourself a time limit! I may own books I haven’t read yet, but I will get to a book sooner if I have borrowed it from the library, because I know there is a deadline to return it! 
You can also get other people involved. If you have a friend who wants to read the same book, commit to a chapter or two a week and then call to discuss it. 
Or, if you have a friend who would be interested, and you are comfortable with your reading voice, you could read to someone! It might feel weird to offer, but you’d be surprised how many people really do enjoy being read to. If you both have time in your schedules, you could try to set up a regular call to get through a few chapters at a time. 
Generally, having a friend who likes the book is great for maintaining enthusiasm, even if they’re not reading it with you - I get to books faster if someone with similar taste says “This is one of my favorites! You would love it!” If you have a friend who has read the book you plan on reading, announce to them that you intend on reading it. Their enthusiasm might help you feel more compelled to read it, and there’s a good chance that if you don’t sit down and read it, they will remind you by asking “Have you read it yet? What do you think?” the next time you talk to them.
PREPARATION
Another great way to make reading easier is to set up a reading space beforehand. It’s one thing to pick up a book and say “I’ve been meaning to read this.” It’s another thing to put on some pajama pants, make a cup of tea, and curl a soft blanket around your shoulders before you settle down to read. For one thing, it’s just nice. But more importantly, it can function as a signal that tells your brain “it is Reading Time now. We are in the Reading Zone.”
Do you ever watch a TV show or listen to a podcast, and you let the theme song play on the first episode, and then skip it for the rest? Even if I’ve watched a show before, I will play the theme song on the first episode I watch that day. It’s the same principle - it serves as a transition, an intro that says “this is where I am now, and this is what I’m doing.” Give yourself an intro for reading! Have a certain spot that you like to sit when you read. Have a certain snack you eat beforehand.
I have all kinds of tasks with little “rituals” before them that help me focus on that task, or certain items that I interact with which I associate with it. I call them “declarations of intent,” and once I’ve made a declaration it’s easier to commit to it. Sometimes that means simply saying out loud, “I am going to do the laundry now.” Sometimes it means I wear a certain shirt if I’m planning to go for a walk that day, or drink from a certain mug at breakfast if I want to get some homework done. I have a specific hat that I put on when I want to write a certain character. Try to find something you can do to act as a cue that says “When I do this, then I will read a book.” Because of this, it can help to really lean into whatever the “aesthetic” of reading is, in your mind. Embrace a reading atmosphere!
It may also help to recognize that reading is something you can work your way up to! There is no shame in being out of practice with a hobby. I took my reading proficiency for granted for a long time because it was just a part of my life. It may help to think of reading as a skill! Start with something smaller and work your way up. Pick up a book of short stories or folktales before you tackle that six-book series you’ve heard good things about! Set achievable goals for yourself when you’re setting out. An early success can make a huge difference to morale, and it’s much better to start “too easy” and accomplish something than to jump in at the deep end and be frustrated by an early setback.
FORGIVENESS
On the topic of working your way up to things, I would like to say a word about mindset. It is easy to feel self-critical about things. Things that you think should come more easily to you. Things that you feel like you have no reason not to be able to do. One of the biggest things I’ve done for my ADHD is recognizing that there is always a reason why I behave a certain way. Accepting that allows me to actually address my struggles, rather than just feeling ashamed of them. I’ve had to accept that I won’t always do things that I set out to do the way I set out to do them.
I bring this up because not all of my advice here may work for you. In fact, some of it doesn’t work for me every time - a technique may work once, but I might fail to make a regular habit of it. I may make a regular habit of something, only to have it become less effective as the novelty of it, or my enthusiasm for it, wears off. I may eventually talk myself out of implementing an effective strategy because there is some part of it that I find unpleasant; or an intentional unpleasantness I once found motivating may eventually become intolerable.
That’s okay. I’m telling you now, it’s okay if that happens. It’s okay if the first method you try doesn’t work. Don’t set yourself up to feel frustrated. If you become frustrated, take a step back. If you borrow a library book and you still haven’t read it by the due date, just give it back. If you don’t actually enjoy the first book you pick up, put it down and try a different one. If you feel badly about not reading something your friend wants you to read, be honest and tell them you have a hard time sitting down, and that you don’t want to disappoint them if they keep asking, but that you will let them know once you have started it!
It can be easy to convince myself that feeling badly about something means it’s important to me, and that maybe if I feel bad about not doing something, it  motivate me to do it. There is a balance between making commitments, and not committing to anything that is just going to distress me. Sometimes there is a benefit to a sense of pressure, but I have to recognize when the pressure I create turns into frustration. That’s a fine line to walk! For all I speak of inconveniencing yourself, or holding yourself accountable, your strategies should ultimately feel satisfying, and show results fairly quickly! You may not see immediate results, but if it has been several days and your strategy isn’t working out, change tactics! And the moment you feel apologetic or ashamed about the thing you are trying to do, drop that strategy. Again, this can be easier said than done, but it is so worthwhile to learn how to allow yourself to “give up” on things that aren’t actually helping you, without feeling like you’re giving up entirely.
You want to get back into reading again because you want to enjoy reading again. If you set it up to feel like homework, or a chore, or an obligation, you may make it more difficult for yourself! Getting back into reading is about focusing on what you love about reading.
And hey, I’m always happy to help! I do only check Tumblr every couple weeks right now, but I’ll do what I can to be supportive. If you’ve tried these suggestions and they don’t work out, no worries! Everyone is different, and it’s no insult to me if things that work for me don’t work for you. But feel free to reach out again, let me know anything you have learned about how you function best in the meantime, and we can reevaluate your strategies!
I hope that helps! Happy reading!
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lixhues · 3 years
Text
Love and Hate. | Moonbyul (Pt.1)
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𝒔𝒚𝒑𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔: The latest feature on your album, Moonbyul, is a jerk. But she teaches you just how to have a good time.
𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: smut, a little bit of angst (?)
𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑: idol!moonbyul x idol!reader, female x female
𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 1.6K
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: dom!moonbyul, sub!reader, not much smut (yet ;)), moonbyul seems like a little like a jerk, hints(?) at masturbation, hot moonbyul
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"I'd do it better, to be honest. And I don't even sing."
Another, fucking, remark.
You glare at the owner of the voice. Honestly, you'd blow up if you hear another jab on how your, literally everything, sucks.
Moonbyul smirked. "Aw, is kitten upset?" You scoff, trying not to lose patience, but she was making it so hard.
She didn't have anything against you. You didn't even know who she was until one day your record company suggested you work with her, a rising star. She was known for her amazing rapping skills and unique genre of music, mixing elements of mainstream kpop, hip hop and sometimes even ballad.
And because of that you thought she wasn't supposed to be an idol. You didn't think she could sing or dance. But boy, were you wrong.
Her voice flowed like honey, viscous yet sweet to the ears when she sang ballads, and had just enough power and growls when she sang something hardcore.
And her dance skills, they were something you thought you saw in boys only. It was a complete different type from what you usually saw, or was even trained in. When you saw these videos of her, you couldn't stop noticing how her body moved at every beat, each move looking minimalistic but flowed just like her voice and entranced you. You were so fascinated by her abilities, and understood all the hype about her. You became her fan.
You were very excited to meet her. To see her in real life, hear her rap and sing, putting her own touch in your songs (your genre was all over the place, honestly), and see her move to your song, and your words.
All that hope shattered the first day you worked together in studio. You were excitedly discussing all the different ideas in your head, wanting to hear the same from her when the first remark came in.
"You're like an overactive puppy," she said bluntly. You were a little shook, but laughed it off, refusing to let yourself think it meant anything bad. You were about to continue when you were interrupted again.
You weren't a little shook right now. No, you were actually, really, shocked. You waited for her to laugh and say, 'It was a joke'.
"All these ideas are, how do I say it, boring."
But that moment never came. She still had that scowl on her face.
Over the course of last three days, she kept passing comments and remarks, constantly degrading you. At least she was quiet in front of other producers, but when you were alone, she said things like how your voice is too nasally, how fake it sounds, how your lyrics sound like a pubescent teenager wrote them etcetera.
You stopped trying to impress her, because deep down, you wanted her to like you. Praise you. Make this song like you were some old best friends or-
Or just something.
"Yes, I am upset," you let out, grinding your teeth.
But every jab through her pretty mouth just pushed you over and over until you tipped over the edge, your limit was crossed, and you were furious.
Moonbyul smirked at that. You continued.
"Honestly, I don't even know what I did. What exactly I did to piss you off. To make you act like a bitch to me. I was nice to you, I thought you were really amazing, and wanted to work with you, but you're anything but kind. I guess looks are deceiving, after all," you let that all out in one breathe.
Moonbyul was still smirking, as she stepped closer to you. She kept walking until she was an inch or two long distance from you. You could smell her scent, a bit vanilla, a bit musky. It entered your senses, and your thoughts got a little clouded.
Your lips parted a little and she knew she had you wrapped around her finger. She stepped even closer, your bodies slightly touching.
Your eyes found her face, angelic, but with a devilish smile on it. She brought her fingers to your chin, rubbing it slightly with her thumb.
You were breatheless. Trying to process everything that was happening, trying not to let go of the anger you had for her in the first place.
She leaned in closer, her lips right beside your ears as she whispered. "What did you say about my looks, again, kitten?"
You broke out of your trance. You scoffed at her cockiness, storming out of the studio, feeling her eyes on you as you stepped out.
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Back at home, you sighed in frustration. Thinking about her smirking, teasing you, calling you kitten, insulting and degrading you, and then having the audacity to touch you, let herself this close to you.
But the more you thought about that moment, the more you felt...weirdly turned on, you dare say? The way you felt like a doll in her hands, a puppet, unable to move and let her smirk at you, let her lips this close to you, a weird power, dominance she had over you. It all had your heart beating faster.
You would be lying if you say Moonbyul wasn't attractive. And that one of the reasons you wanted to meet her was to see if you still find her attractive in real life. Which you did. A lot.
You sighed again, in frustration. Why were all the pretty people dickheads?
Kitten. The word echoed in your head. Moonbyul's voice, saying the word as the most innocent thing in the word, with a completely contrasting aura. Her aura was heavy, filled with dominance, like she'd eat you alive right then and there.
Oh God.
The thought aroused you so much. Unexpected images started to fill in your head against your command.
Scenes where her skin was against yours, her hands all over your body, teasing you like the bitch she is, making you whine and whimper, until finally letting them go to where your body needs them the most. She would be chuckling at your begging form, enjoying you feel hot and bothered, writhing under her. But she has you pinned, with her hand and her gaze, as her fingers brush against your cl-
No!
What the hell were you thinking, and why were you entertaining these thoughts? She's making your life hell right now, you shouldn't feel this way. She's talented, she's hot, she's-
She's a jerk. A big one.
Snapping out of your thoughts, you moved to finally lay on your bed, when you felt it.
Just how wet you were.
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The next day, you didn't bother doing a lot to yourself, not putting a lot of effort in your clothes or your makeup or hair or whatever.
What was the point? You won't be impressing Moonbyul anytime soon.
And maybe looking like shit would keep her away from you, her hands to herself.
So all you put on was an oversized shirt, shorts that were a bit above the knee (since it had gotten a wee bit hot in Seoul), hair open and wild and walked out with a determination to actually start the song.
You entered the studio, constantly repeating to yourself to just focus on the music, focus on the song, not Moonbyul.
You were a bit late, and expected to hear her snap at you for your lack of punctuality, but were instead greeted with silence, her staring at you with a plain expression. You couldn't figure out what she was thinking. You started to feel a little nervous under her gaze, which never faltered, as you cleared your throat and moved towards the equipment in the studio.
As you pulled out a few notebooks after plugging some instruments in, you felt a presence behind you. You froze, unsure of what to do when a pair of hands settled them on the table in front of you, caging you.
You felt Moonbyul's breath on your neck, her body close. A gasp left your mouth as she pressed her abdomen to your back, your ass almost pressed to her front, your breathing getting irregular. You started feeling hot, and the studio got hotter than it already was. You weren't sure why something so simple had a such a great effect on you, but you were grateful that rather than her snarky remarks, you could here her low breathing in the nape of your neck.
Your head started getting clouded with need. You both stayed in that position for a minute or so, you having the urge to just pull Moonbyul to you so that you can have all of her pressed against you, not even a bit of space left in between.
Just then, you felt her lips grazing your neck, going higher and higher until they reached your ear. "I like this on you. So much," you hear her low, husky voice say that, and suddenly, you feel her tug your earlobe between her teeth. It just got too much for you, the fantasies from previous night, actually having Moonbyul this close, and then her whispering and biting your ear.
You finally let out a low moan.
Moonbyul flinches, steps back a bit, and leaves.
Leaves you with your clouded mind and heavy breathing.
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The night of the studio incident was one filled with agony.
You felt excited she had been so close to you, but then it immediately died when you remembered she left. But then it again reminds of how close you both were, and the cycle repeats.
You came to a conclusion that Moonbyul didn't necessarily despise you, but for some reason, wasn't on her best behavior with you.
But with your head filled with need that you felt only she can fulfill, even her harsh words were something you were craving.
And so, still with the feeling of her caging and biting you, your hand travels down south, your head filled with fantasies.
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babylooneytoonz · 3 years
Text
Warnings: These two just can't stop fighting // them being adorable // poor jokes
Please find all the other links to other parts in the Master list.
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You looked at yourself in the mirror for probably the tenth time. Were you looking trashy ? Not really. You ran your hands through your hair, ruffling them up just the right amount so that they looked bouncy as your fingers moved on to the lipstick. Were you looking just too plain? You groaned at youself for probably the twentieth time, but this time you grabbed the red lipstick. It was a bold choice, red lipstick, a plaid checkered shirt, and a pencil jeans, not to forget your heels, that you never really wore. 
"Damn girl, you really look great," Wanda tossed herself against your mattress, her eyes plastered on you. "Lucah will go crazy, I tell you." 
"How do you even know this guy again?" You raised your eyebrow, looking at her through your mirror, as you slid your glasses back on and scanned at yourself one last time. 
"He was Pietro's bestfriend." 
You noticed Wanda zone out, probably lost in some old memories. You knew memories were bitches; so it was better not to scratch them up, so you decided to change the topic. 
"Is he hot?" 
"Smokin'." Wanda smirked, propping herself up as she walked up to you, "Think a strong , muscular back, veiny arms, the guy can flex, sandy blond hair." 
"Jeez, I can really picture Steve right now." 
Your words were enough to send Wanda into a snort, followed by a carefree laugh as she shook her head. 
"Na, Steve is more, I don't know, decent looking? Lucah, I'd say he's 21st century, Steve likes jazz, Lucah likes R&B. They're like poles apart?" 
"Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but since you already texted him three times just to make sure he arrived on time to pick me up, I'm sure the guy is probably waiting for me right now." You grinned, grabbing your purse. As if on cue, Friday's voice rang through your room, informing you that your date had arrived downstairs to pick you up and Wanda's grin just widened.
"I'll see you later, babe, have fun." She winked teasingly and you gave her a last smile before you practically ran out towards the elevator. 
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
Wanda was right, the guy looked handsome. He was just the right amount of handsome, and you did look good when you sat clinging to him while he rode his motorcycle through town, all the efforts you had put into setting your hair down the drain. He had complimented you, the first thing he saw you, how beautiful you were, and who were you kidding, it had been ages someone had said that, and you were already blushing a scarlet red. When he asked you if you had something planned out for the day for you had already communicated through Wanda that you were planning the date this time, you gave him a tight lipped smile. 
Thus, the two of you found yourselves seated at an open air cafe that was directly in front of the entrance of the movie theater, on the opposite side of the road.
So far, the date wasn't going good. Of course, you were sitting there, right across from him, giving him the most bored looks ever. Not that he was bad, maybe you just weren't feeling it, or you had been off the market and under the radar for so long, you had forgotten what made a date a really fabulous date. Also, your eyes found themselves trailing over the cineplex doors, wondering when the afternoon show of the only movie that was playing there today will get over. 
"So, Y/N, the Avengers huh? How does it feel to be one of them?" Lucah just said, trying to lighten up the weirdness that was already bubbling up inside of you. On the table, in front of you, your untouched plate of fries, and a cappuccino lay, while he was happily gobbling up the nachos, at a pace much faster than yours. 
Your breath left your lips rather loudly, when you finally saw the doors open, and people started to tumble out, discussing the movie and mostly critiquing it. 
"Hey, are you listening -" 
Your eyes lit up in excitement, when you saw just the people your eyes had been waiting to see, followed by an obvious scowl that crept up on your lips. Bucky had his arm wrapped around her still, and although he didn't appear to be smiling, he wasn't frowning either, so you assumed that he did have a good time, except for when he looked at her with slight irritation when she would bring up her palm, holding two popcorns between her fingers as she tried feeding him. 
"Cringy as fuck," you blurted out in a low annoyed voice, and Lucah just looked at you, his frown now obvious as he turned to follow your gaze to look at what you were looking at, or who.
"What?" He asked, confused.
"Life of an Avenger, I meant." 
He nodded and sat back, staring down at his hands. He wasn't sure suddenly why he was even here, and hadn't he left already. Although you were pretty, he was sure of that, he didn't really seem to find you interesting and you only seemed like you were distracted, looking around, not even having your fries, that laid abandoned on the table. 
Suddenly, Bucky's eyes, like a magnet flew towards you, but you at the right time, you turned your gaze away, fixing it on Lucah and leaned forward, reaching out and placing your palm on his hand that was laying on the table. You threw out the sauciest smiles that you could, parting your lips, your tongue sneaking out and moistening your lower lip. Slowly, you stood up and cleared your throat, you knew that Bucky was watching you now, you could feel his burning gaze on you. 
You walked over to where Lucah was seated, round the table; and boy, did he look scared at what you were going to do, and not to mention, totally confused. You didn't understand what got into you, it was like you were suddenly on fire, and you wanted to put on a good show, for Bucky's eyes. You lowered yourself on Lucah's lap, his arm snaking around your waist in reflex. He didn't push you away, he was so startled, and even before he could push you away, you didn't give him the time; you smashed your lips against his, leaning down on him, your nails almost digging into his shoulder, your other hand holding him by his head, your fingers matted into his hair. 
Bucky kept watching, from afar. His eyes had darkened two shades, and his face had a look, a look that said, if anyone would even dare mess with him now, he would rip them apart into pieces. He let out a frustrated grunt, and the woman next to him stopped blabbering and looked at him, frowning at his sudden outburst. 
"Let's go and eat at that cafe, I'm starving," Bucky grumbled, under his voice, grabbing the woman's hand and walking her towards the open roof cafe, eyeing the table just next to yours. 
As Bucky and the woman passed you by, he intentionally cleared his throat so loudly, you had to break your kiss, but the smug smirk on your lips meant that you knew that what you wanted to do had had the desirable effect on him, and that was what made you feel even more better. 
"Well, that was nice," You brought your palm up to Lucah's cheeks, your thumb grazing against the stain that your ravaged lipstick had left against his soft, plump ones. You finally stood up again, straightening your dress, and running your hands through your hair until you walked back to your chair, sliding down against it. Your breathing was hitched, your ears felt warm, and your cheeks were heating up. 
"I don't get it these days, with people and their cheap, corny as fuck public display of affection." Bucky suddenly began, causing you and Lucah to snap your head towards the table next to you; your eyes narrowed. Bucky just sat there, lounging against the back of the chair, sipping on some soda through the straw, his eyes fixed on the blonde. 
"Well, excuse me but are you talking about-" Lucah began to speak in a low voice, but you cut him off, reaching oit for Lucah, until you had taken his hand, your fingers coiled with his. 
"You know some people are just so closed off, they would suck at this PDA thing, and knowing they can't do it, they just like to comment on others," you said those words loud enough so Bucky could hear them, and then you grabbed a fry, tossing it into your mouth, sitting back more comfortably. If anyone could see the scene unfurl, it would have been hilarious to watch. 
"Maybe we just have more class, and prefer to fool around at more private places." 
If you had eyes on your side, you would sure have seen the widest smirk on Bucky's face. But even without taking a look at him, you knew he was smirking.
"Private places? Like what? The back of a theater? Who even does that? What are you? Like 16? Get a room," you snapped. 
"Well, you have a room, but do you have a partner to share it with?" 
Before you could come back with a reply to what Bucky had just said, your eyes skid to where Lucah was. He had stood up, making a ruckus with his chair, to snap you out of whatever you had going on. He cleared his throat, slammed a few notes for the date on the table, and walked off, his leather jacket dangling from his shoulder. He, however, made his way to the blonde sitting opposite Bucky, who had a clear scowl on her face. 
"Maybe you would like to get another table? And we could just leave them alone?" 
"Yeah, I'd like that," the woman stood up, clearly giving Bucky the cold shoulder and she unzipped her purse, and pulled out a few dollars, almost throwing them into Bucky's face. He was taken aback, and was ready to say something to her, when you suddenly called out, "Hey blondie, you do realize that metal arm can choke you right? And I'm not talking about choking you in bed. The guy took you to the movies, the least you can do is be a little respectful." 
Their heavy footsteps vanished away; and you finally craned your neck towards Barnes, your eyes finally meeting his. He had an amused look playing on his face. It wasn't a smirk, but it wasn't a smile either. It was a mix of them both. 
"What?" You mumbled, in a low voice, reaching out and grabbing your fry.
"Mhm, nothing, just wondering why you defended me." 
Another fry was awkwardly stuffed into your mouth, followed by a sip of your cappuccino. 
"So I could be the one to insult you the next time." 
A silence fell on the two of you and now, you averted your eyes. You didn't want to look at him, so now you didn't know what he was doing, or what he was probably thinking. You could hear him aimlessly tapping his palm against the table but the sound suddenly stopped. You heard him stand up, and then he moved to the chair that laid abandoned in front of you, pulling it out and propping himself down against it. 
"Well, it's just the two of us now, and that's a lot of fries, you sure you can eat them alone?" Your lips twitched, but you bit on your tongue to control yourself from giving him the widest smile that you could give him, as you saw his hand inching towards your plate. You swatted his hand with yours at the exact time he grabbed a fry, but he was fast, he had already pulled back and pushed the fry into his mouth. 
"Don't put your fingers into my fries, I don't even want to think about the places your, uh, fingers have been while back at the movies." You made a gagging face, and Bucky's face turned red for a second, and he just started coughing, and grinning at the same time. 
"We were watching Wall-E." 
"Are you fucking kidding me? That's-"
"The only place my fingers were was into the bucket of caramel popcorn. Who the hell prefers caramel anyway?"
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
"I can't believe it," you smirked; almost widening your eyes in the most dramatic way while Bucky just rolled his eyes and shook his head, looking at you. "You've been fucking around with that one for weeks, and you've not even asked her what her name was?" 
"She did tell me her name, I just forget. It was Maggie or Pastry, I don't even remember. Who the hell is even called Pastry?" 
"Barnes, my cat's name was Pastry, are you fucking saying it wasn't a good name?" 
"For a human, not a cat." He just smirked, leaning forward. 
You were sitting on a swing, your heels laying abandoned next to where Bucky sat on a bench, from where he could see you; your feet grazing against the dew on the grass. It was pretty late at night, well not that late, but it was almost dinnertime. 
"Who the hell named you Bucky? You don't even have buck teeth." 
"Really? Was that supposed to be a joke?" He smirked, leaning forward, his elbows resting against his knees, his hair falling against his eyes. 
"Yeah well, you know. Bucky, buck teeth, it rhymes?" Maybe it was the two bottles of beer that the two of you had, but it annoyed you how he was in his complete senses and here you were, making weird cringy jokes that didn't even make sense. 
"I thought you hated me." 
You stopped swinging abruptly, when you heard him, his words slowly sinking him. Groaning to yourself, you stood up, and walked up to where he was, lowering yourself next him to him, staring at the swing that was still moving lightly. 
"You give yourself too much importance, Barnes. Besides, you started this whole thing in the first place." 
You couldn't see his expressions now, but you could feel him lost in a deep thinking. At a slow pace, you turned your head to face him and you saw that he was staring at the starry sky, thinking. 
"I don't get it. You're a freaking super soldier, you're supposed to be strong, and you're supposed to be pain tolerant, and you whined about me burning your fucking abs for days." 
He suddenly snapped his head towards you, whatever he was thinking before this now abandoned. His eyes were narrowed, and his lip almost twitched, in annoyance before he grumbled, "that was my favourite tshirt. And besides, I was sort of having a bad day." 
You stood up, turning around so you were now looking down at him, a frown having paved it's way over your forehead and your hands fixed on your hips. 
"You fucked with my mind, you made me look like a freaking joke in front of Steve, just because you had a fucking bad day?" 
He shook his head, almost grumbling under his breath, wondering why he had let you drink. 
"And who do you think you were back at that simulation training?" 
"Well that was different- " 
"How? Care to explain?" 
You couldn't believe it, the nerves on this man. You almost gasped, taking a step away from him, draping your arms over your chest. 
"You knew what clearing that certification meant to me."
"Well, doll. Being an Avenger means everyone fends for themselves; it was a fair fight, but you didn't want to play fair, and that's your fault." 
While Bucky just deadpanned, his face giving you a look of disapproval, you just curled your lips into a snicker, almost throwing your head backwards, so you could let out a laugh. 
"Look who's talking." 
"What the hell do you mean by that?" Bucky shrugged. 
"How fair would you think messing with someone's weights at the gym is?" 
Now it was your turn to smirk, and your smirk even widened when you saw a sudden look of discomfort flash against the man's face, which he quickly masked by pulling on his cold and emotionless expression, "I don't understand." 
"Sam told me, you prick. You messed with my weights, you wanted to get back at me. Don't you dare tell me this was all my fault. When I just wanted to fucking make things right." 
"Yeah, make things right? I can see how you made things right." His knuckles cracked, and his jaw squared, as he towered over you. 
"Well, I would've, if you weren't busy getting into that bitch's pants, whatever her name was." 
"Pastry." 
"You've gotta be kidding me, who the fuck names a child Pastry?" 
Bucky sighed, for probably the tenth time, and ran his fingers through his hair. Women, they always suprised him; and the women he met, they were all different and unique in the most weird ways, like this one standing right in front of him. She was just plain weird, and psychotic. But he couldn't deny, even with her weird psychotic ways, she was slowly growing on him. 
"The point is?" He raised a brow. 
"Well, the point is, Sergeant, I came to your room, to make this right. But you were so excited to go on this lousy date." 
"You really hate that I went on a date with her right? Why don't you go on a real date with me then?" 
His palms grabbed your arms, and he pulled you closer, his blues staring into your (Y/E/C). 
You swallowed the bile in your throat, and parted your lips. Words wouldn't come out though, it was as though your throat had constricted and you couldn't speak. You were like a ferocious animal cornered, you wanted to bite but you couldn't, so you just gave him a glare, furrowing your brows, and flaring your nostrils just a bit. 
"Atleast be a man and kiss me when I know you're dying to do it for a long time, Barnes." 
"You've gotta be kidding-" 
Bucky couldn't complete his sentence; not when you had smashed your lips against his surprisingly soft ones. He tasted like peppermint, and cinnamon, a taste you could not put a name to, but whatever it was, it was just right. 
You finally pulled away, almost gasping for air, and the expression on Bucky's face was just priceless. His jaw slightly hung, and you could see that his lips were parted, confusion reflecting in his expressions. But at the same time, his cheeks had a faint tint of red, and he licked his lips, relishing in the aftermath of the kiss. 
You took a step away, and turned around, casually skipping along the grass, until you were down on the swing again, and he just kept staring at you. 
You really were the weirdest one he had met. 
"Oh, and bdw, I know you checked out my ass that day at the gym. Hope you liked it." 
If you could compare Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes face with a tomato, you wouldn't have been able to decide which one was redder. 
(Author's Note- I am so sorry this was so long! I was practically giggling when I wrote this chapter. They remind me so much of Tom & Jerry, I just can't. 🤣Anyway, I hope you guys liked this. 💗 )
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@really-dont-forget-it
@thepeakygurl
@all-art-is-quite-useless
@baumarvel
@janajjj
@chipilerendi
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op-peccatori · 4 years
Note
YES! I LOVE reading match-ups. 🥰🥰🥰 If you would be so inclined, sweetest friend, I'd like to request one from any of the fandoms mentioned or as you see fit. 💕 I've exposed myself in front of you plenty LOLOLOL so I don't think I need to get TOO descriptive but I'll drop these extras: Procastinator (OOOF). I LOVE running (casual or sports). I am SHORT. 🤧 I don't dislike my physique but am not particularly fond of my curves (AAAH). (Is this alright? 🤣)
FAA!!! Thank you for requesting 💕 I hope you like your boos 🥰 (Yes, it was perfectly alright)
The characters I picked for you are: Lucien (MLQC), Comte se Saint-Germain (IkeVamp), Kiro (MLQC), Saeyoung (Mystic Messenger)
These characters were picked mainly because I could see you being able to have a very comfortable and open relationship with them. And also for their intelligence 👀 They respect you, your mind, your decisions—everything; Lucien and Comte are the calmer personalities here, while Kiro and Saeyoung are a touch more excitable. The main themes here are of partnership, trust, freedom and intimacy.
Lucien and Comte are my primary picks for you! They’re people who are capable of being deeply empathetic, perceptive and have A+ communication skills. You can always talk to them about anything, without worrying about consequences or judgment. They can judge your moods and needs rather quickly as well, always willing to adapt to them and provide support accordingly. Honestly, with one text from you or a quick phone call, they’ll know if you’ve had an exhausting day and immediately start doing what they can to make it better. Food, comfort, space—they’d do anything. They’re people you can explore every aspect of life with, because they’re capable of being very objective.
They know when to let you be, and when to step in if the procrastination is eating at you. They never push, though. They’d put actual effort into figuring out what works for and motivates you!
Please take Lucien with you when you go running. He could really use the fresh air 🤣 Comte is more of a ‘waiting at the door/finish line with a towel and a cool drink’ kind of partner. He might join you occasionally, if only to admire you as you run 🥰🤣
They will worship you. They love every single inch of you, showering you in such reverential and adoring praises it might make you cry. Or embarrass you, if it’s in public. Words aren’t even required, it’s all in their heart eyes 🥺 And in conflicts, they would defend you without losing their calm, ever willing to be at your side in every situation.
They’re not as open to speaking about their own problems as they are to solving yours, mostly because they would rather focus on you. But they get that it’s unfair, and would try to be better. This is where your own understanding nature comes in, and allows them to open up to you with ease. Trust is a two-way street 😌
(They can also match your thirst every step of the way 🤣 They play it cool, but the beast is often lurking behind their placid masks lmao)
Kiro and Saeyoung are the type of guys who’d be your best friend and boyfriend in one package. They’re adventurous, exciting, and mischievous. They can be a little clingy, but if you’re okay with that, it’s all good! It’s how they show their affection. They’re the kind of partners you could go backpacking, clubbing, scuba-diving (honestly ANYTHING) with. They’re always up for anything as long as you enjoy it! They’d watch all kinds of shows with you, sneaking in with snacks as soon as you sit down to watch something. They’re your personal sunshine providers, especially Kiro. You need a little cheering up? They’ve got their pom poms ready. However, they’re quite prone to hiding their own low moods, which might be frustrating at times. Kiro would be better about it, because he would come to you for comfort. Saeyoung needs to be chased after 🥰
They’re both quite active, especially Kiro, and would love to accompany you on runs. And of course, they’re ready with banners and t-shirts with your face on them if it’s not a casual run. They’re both serial procrastinators (SAEYOUNG!!!) so in this case, you have company 🥰 They might tease you for your petite stature, ruffling your hair and leaning on your head. Punch them 💀 They just think it’s adorable.
They’re so, so affectionate and are extremely offended if you say you’re not fond of any part of you, and commit themselves to the mission of changing your mind, or at least showing you how much they adore it.
Date nights at home with Lucien and Comte would often have a more intimate atmosphere—talking comfortably, discussing your days/weeks, any plans you might have together. They prefer to eat face to face than watch something as you eat, choosing to put on a movie or tv show after dinner if you guys wanna watch something together. With Saeyoung and Kiro, it’s livelier. They too love talking to you as you guys eat, but they don’t mind watching something either! They’d still provide some sort of commentary 🤣
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morelikesin · 3 years
Text
You Know You're Cute, Right?
ANOTHER APEX FIC BECAUSE I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF SKNDLWKDM,, this time I wrote differently than how I normally do - it consists of quick snippets of a day-in-the-life type thing, featuring Mirage-Octane-Bloodhound-Caustic as a polycule 💕 Huge inspo from this song (as well as included in the fic)✨
youtube
Take this as a late Christmas-early New Years gift ✨ Super fluffy and casual type work, with a heavy dash of romanticism because I'll be damned if I'm not a romantic. Fic under the cut 💕💕
"You call your cat sweetheart? 'Zander-"
"Not a word."
Elliott suppressed a snort. That cheeky little smile he had when he found an opening for playful jabs was always so irritating - the kind of irritating that made the scientist want to kiss it right off of him.
"I think it's cute," Octavio hummed, leaning back into the sofa with his arms crossed behind his head. "That means you're cute. Que lindo."
The way Alexander scoffed an "Octavio" would've been more intimidating had it not been for the big, sleepy cat he cradled in his arms. She stretched her big fluffy paws, made a squeak as she yawned, and buried her head into the man's chest.
Blóð smiled.
"Vhatever helps you sleep at night, elskan."
It was incredibly late. The last time they had checked the clock wasn't that long ago, and apparently it was supposed to be sometime around 4 in the morning. It didn't feel that way at all.
They knew it'd kick their ass in the morning - getting so little sleep.
Well, Octavio might be fine. But Elliott had made it a habit to wake up at 8, Blóð still hadn't made much progress on getting more sleep to begin with, Alexander had his internal clock waking him at 7, and they all had somewhere to be at 9. This entire night was probably a huge mistake. They normally try to get to sleep by 2, but admittedly, they may or may not have a bad practice of keeping each other awake for company's sake.
And now that an entirely new subject was brought up after Alexander had rather adoringly picked up Bear, his senior cat, and called her "sweetheart," the prospect of playfully pestering him about his soft spot was all too enticing to go to sleep just yet.
"You've never even called us sweetheart," Octavio began. "You save it for her?"
There was a brief pause. Alexander had kept petting her back paw with his thumb, as his eyes remained averted until he sighed. "It...is something I've grown accustomed to for her, yes."
Elliott made a pleased hum. "Well isn't that just adorable," he teased before leaning over and petting Bear across her back - fur unbelievably soft.
It started as a joke a while ago - the way they noticed how Bear could make anyone sleepy just by looking at her - her cozy looking fur, her sweet little face, her ability to get comfortable and sleep virtually anywhere - but over time the joke had increased its humour when the idea became seemingly true. Alexander occasionally would mention how he'd sometimes stop working at his desk late at night because Bear was sleeping in his lap, and turn in a few hours early compared to his usual 2 in the morning bed time. This was deemed an exaggeration until the three others experienced it for themselves.
This happened to be one of those magical sleepy-Bear moments, as made evident by how Blóð made a quiet yawn shortly after leaning over to give Bear a loving scritch under her chin.
Octavio staved off a matching yawn. He rubbed at his eyes, began to stand, and nodded to Alexander's bed. "We should probably try and get some sleep."
-
The sun coming in through the blinds was a rude awakening. Elliott instinctually raised an arm to cover his eyes - making a soft groan in annoyance at the bright rays somehow coming through at a perfect angle to hit him in the face. Turning, he lowered his arm and began to sit up slowly as to not wake up the sleeping Octavio who had his arm wrapped around his waist.
Elliott sighed, and leaned down to give him a kiss on the temple. He lingered for a moment before sitting up again and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
He noticed a weight on his legs, and looked to see a peacefully sleeping Bear curled up in a ball. As he went to pet her head, his eyes glanced up to see Blóð sitting in Alexander's desk chair - hands busy sewing a thick-fur item. From the time spent with the hunter, Elliott had picked up on the types of hides they'd hunt and use - this one appearing to be rabbit fur. What they were making, though, wasn't clear yet.
Elliott's voice came deeper, and a bit more throaty in post-sleep fashion, "Morning."
Blóð briefly looked up, gave a gentle smile, and proceeded to look back down to continue their work. "Góðan morgin. How did you sl'leep?"
"Pretty good, considering." He took in a deep breath, and stretched his arms out in front of him. He rested his hands in his lap as he went to speak again, "When did you wake up?"
"Before Alexander, but not by long."
Elliott frowned slightly. Blóð took notice when they looked back up to gauge his reaction. They made an effort to ease his concerns.
"I'm sure Octavio will get me to take a nap vith him later today," they assured, "don't worry about me. I'll be fine."
Elliott made a small hum indicating reluctant agreement. "...Alright. Just promise me to keep doin' what you're doin' - trying t'get more sleep, I mean."
"I promise, ástin."
If Elliott was a sucker for anything, it'd be terms of endearment - especially when they're used so casually. Having all four of them be big on using said terms made for an eternally happy Witt.
"Beloved, right?"
Blóð hummed, "Yes. Closest tr'ranslation I can equate to it." They briefly stopped their handiwork in the wake of a smile they couldn't seem to get rid of. "I'm touched you remembered."
Elliott smirked and made a quiet laugh, turning his head to find the time on the side table clock - 8:21 AM - before looking back over. "I try my best. Making it a goal to learn as much as I can from you and Octavio."
"We find it very sweet," Blóð assured, letting it be known that Octavio and they had seemingly discussed the language efforts before. "Alexander said as much, that you and he were doing so."
"Think I can speak for him when I say that we love learning it. Speaking of him...?"
"He's downstairs."
Elliott made a quiet "Ah." As much as it pained him to do so, he gently lifted Bear and set her on a free spot of the blanket so he could get up - her being left generally unfazed, besides her slightly annoyed tail wag in being moved from her spot.
With Octavio being so small, Elliott could easily leave the bed without disturbing him too much, albeit moving his arm so it wasn't draped across his body anymore. He stretched, walked over to Blóð, and gestured for a kiss. They hummed, seemingly still in their work, but Elliott knew they were keen - the hunter picking up the hint and looking up so their lips could gently meet.
"Que lindo, mis amores."
The two of them made a small hum in surprise before pulling away from one another with a blush. Blóð was smiling to themself shyly, while Elliott made a small chortle and flirted with the newly-awakened Octavio, wearing his darling little smirk.
"Welcome to join us."
Octavio laughed - the sound half-purr, half-grain. "I'd love to. Watching is only so much fun."
He started to rise, stretching his arms upwards and making a groan before reaching over the bed to grab his prosthetics and put them on. Standing, shaking his legs to help himself wake up, he made a small yawn before walking around the bed and giving a kiss to each partner - looking satisfied with himself.
"Big guy downstairs?"
Blóð nodded.
Elliott and Octavio made a mutual decision to go see him - the latter turning around before they headed out the bedroom door to question Blóð. "You comin' down?"
They shook their head, hands busy sewing the fur item again. "I will soon. I von't be long in finishing this."
Octavio nodded, and proceeded to take Elliott's hand as they went downstairs.
-
Dr. Somers and Alexander seemed to be having a chat when the two made it to the kitchen, their hands busy with mugs of black coffee all the while. Elliott could never understand how people drank their coffee so bitter, much less Octavio.
Dr. Somers was the first to notice the two, as she was facing the stairs leaning against the counter. Giving a small wave and giving a nod to Alexander, she drank from her mug and gave them a minute to exchange expected affections - something she learned the polycule are incredibly prone to do, despite several joking complaints about PDA from the others.
Octavio quipped with a laugh between his words as Elliott and Alexander exchanged a coffee-flavored kiss, "Not even creamer, 'Zander?"
The man bore an amused hum. "Black coffee actually tastes like coffee. You may as well drink candy if you add so much sugar to it."
"You sound old."
"No avoiding that, I'm afraid." He gestured for a kiss, to which Octavio happily gave, before drinking from his mug again. "How did you sleep?"
"Great!"
Elliott gave a "Ditto" in response, though he followed it up with a fitting yawn and a "Wish I slept some more, though."
The statement was seconded by the way Alexander made a soft hum in agreement, and thirded by Octavio and his rightly timed yawn.
Dr. Somers waited a few quiet moments before stepping forward and piping into the conversation. "It'll just be a few stores we stop by, darlin's. Doubt we'll be out that long."
"That's still gonna' be so long," Octavio complained, his voice coming as a whine.
It was common knowledge that Octavio wasn't exactly big on shopping. Elliott, however, could spend all day doing it. If they had to disagree on anything, it'd be how long they were out for things - Alexander and Blóð keeping things relatively frustration-free during a shopping trip, though Blóð would always get antsy to go home if they stayed out longer than a few hours out in a city.
"It'll be fine, babe," Elliott assured the man while rubbing his back. "It's kinda'- kinda' just mainly food shopping, isn't it? You like doing that."
"Aren't we going to the pet store after, though?"
Elliott rose a brow, "'Tavio, are you complaining about that?"
Octavio snorted and began walking to the fridge - grabbing a Bang from inside and popping the can open. "No, para nada - prefer that to everything else, even food."
Mary laughed at that, shaking her head before taking a gulp of coffee and making her way to the living room. Before she left, though, she spoke with her back still facing them, "Oh, remind me t'grab a level while we're out -  puttin' up a shelf an' think I lost the one I had."
"Lucky for you, I'm the best at reminding people of things," Elliott half-joked. Mary laughed again and took her leave with a "Thanks."
Being left alone in the kitchen, the three stood in comfortable silence for a few moments. Alexander prompted a question shortly thereafter;
"Is Blóð still upstairs?"
"Yeah," Octavio began, "Think they were working on something - dijo no tardará mucho. I can go see them if-"
The stairs creaked a bit as someone walked down the stairs, causing Octavio to cut himself off as he turned to see who it was. In seeing so, he sighed damn near dreamily and softened his gaze a bit - Elliott and Alexander softening all the same.
Pulling their past-the-waist long black hair behind their jewelry-adorned ear, they rounded the last stair and looked up to see their partners - smiling warmly and lowering their hands to fold their arms. The coyote jaw necklace (that Octavio had gifted them this past holiday, knowing they loved real animal items), that rest against their lower chest rose slightly with every breath, as quaint a detail it was to notice. Not a day goes by do any of them not love seeing their pretty face.
And Elliott made sure to tell them that.
"Not a day goes by do we not love seeing your pretty face."
Blóð bore a chuckle and rolled their eyes, though it didn't mask the rosy blush the comment gave them. "I should say the same for you, ástin."
They unfolded their arms and looked back to the three. They couldn't suppress the amused hum they made in seeing that the three were still checking them out - becoming more flushed and brushing their hair behind their ear again, looking away with a shy smile.
They always looked at each other with such warmth. They got playful tease about it from the others, especially Alexander given he was quite brooding to most things, but the gazes never subsided. They'd like to say they were subtle about it - but everyone else would vote against it. And it'd be true.
They were obvious about it. So sticky-sweet obvious - embraces and hand holding and gazes and kisses and all. They didn't mind.
-
By 10 till 9, mostly everyone was ready - save for Loba, Renee, and Elliott, who always took a while to clean up to their own high standards. Elliott called from upstairs whether he should wear his orange body mist or his cologne, and with the majority vote leaning towards cologne today - well, he must please the people.
With Renee in tow, Elliott had finally come from upstairs. He looked handsome as ever, however, wearing a black turtleneck and an orange, knee length open-front sweater. His hair looked meticulously tended to, tossed to the opposite side of his pierced right ear and framing his face well.
The cologne served him wonders, too, with Blóð and Alexander taking a clear liking to it.
Octavio walked down the stairs with a pep in his step - smoothing back his hair as best he could just so it could partly fall into his face once again. Swinging around the corner, he spotted his partners and proceeded to greet Blóð and Elliott with a firm smack on their behinds. They were startled, sure, but Elliott only looked down to give Octavio a laugh and a smack of his own, while Blóð merely scoffed in jest.
Octavio bit his lip. "Don't you all look good? Eres tan sexy," he gave a wink while unabashedly checking them out. Blóð was always so pretty, even when showing their strength in the games or when they hunted or chopped wood (Octavio could go on for days about that), Elliott was always so charming and confident (even if his suave attempts happened to fail, they were all the more charming), and the rolled-sleeve button up that was unbuttoned just enough to show collarbone and brief chest on Alexander was something Octavio (and the other two, admittedly) would store in the memory bank for personal satisfaction.
"¿Qué hubo?"
"Just talkin' about whatever." Elliott adjusted the cuffs of his orange jacket sleeves, rolling them up his forearm a bit. He took notice of Octavio's outfit. "You gonna' be alright out there? You know I love you in your crop tops, but-"
Octavio made a "Pshhh" and scrunched his nose up a bit in response to that, cutting him off. "I'll be fine, bebé. Can't be that cold outside, can it?"
Alexander seemed to check his phone for confirmation on that. "Sixty degrees."
Elliott did find the temperature better than he had anticipated, but still swiveled his head back to Octavio with brows furrowed in concern.
"You don't even have a jacket."
"I can grab one before we go."
Elliott seemed satisfied by that and left the discussion there.
Loba came downstairs, holding the car keys and jangling them as her other hand brushed her hair past her shoulder. "Any takers on being driver?"
Alexander motioned her to give the keys to him, to which she happily did - she was a great driver, but happened to not be particularly fond of doing so, rather liking going on drives as a passenger.
Octavio quickly claimed shotgun.
Before they left, Blóð gave Octavio the fur item they'd been sewing earlier - the latter finding that it was a soft rabbit fur coat. The delight in his face was all Blóð needed to feel assured that he liked it, and helped him put it on. It was a little big, and just how Octavio liked his sweaters and coats. To all of their agreement, he looked rather stylish in it.
-
They were out for most of the afternoon, starting with a two hour Costco trip (that Octavio nearly made his partners carry him for), several smaller shops in between just to browse, a liquor store to buy champagne and sauvignon to celebrate New Years tonight (along with sparkling juice for Octavio who nay drank alcohol), and a hardware store mainly for Mary to pick up that level Elliott reminded her of. By 4:30, their last store of the day was the pet store - everyone individually needing one thing or another.
When they got inside, Elliott asked his partners if they could accompany him for a minute - guiding them to the aquarium section and proposing something.
"Pick one of these guys that you like," Elliott gestured to the wall of individually kept male betta fish, of all sorts of colors and sizes. "You remember those 5 gallon tanks I got a while back? Thought I'd use 'em, and thought a' you guys."
Like Blóð was simply an animal person, and how Octavio and Alexander were cat people, Elliott was partial towards fish. The two large tanks he manages in the living room are rather serene, and despite Renee's concerns, the fish kept there seem to love the foot traffic of everyone coming through.
"One collectively, or-?"
Elliott shook his head, politely cutting Alexander off, "Three total. Was thinking you all pick one, and I set their tanks up in my room. I-I thought it was a cute idea, I dunno'-"
"It's sweet, actually," Alexander softly spoke.
"Think so?"
Blóð made a content hum - leaning down a bit and surveying the curious little fish to see which one stood out to them. "Incr'redibly, my love."
Octavio's approval was nonverbal, made of him apparently finding which one he wanted immediately and picking up the container the little guy was kept in. He looked to Elliott with stars in his eyes and a grin, "Can we name them?"
Elliott chortled and waved his hand dismissively, "I enco- en- enco- implore you to."
"Octavio Dos."
His answer was so quick the others couldn't help but bear a laugh.
And by the time everyone was at checkout, there was definite fawning over the three new additions to Elliott's personal tanks - Ljón, the cream-colored, fiesty little thing that had fins flowing long behind him that Blóð adored, Violet, the red, pink, and white dumbo betta that was adorably curious much to Alexander's affection, and the deep-red colored Octavio Dos.
-
On the way home, it was decided to just grab something to eat on the way - near everyone could cook, but the idea of standing around in the kitchen to cook for fifteen people was lost.
Natalie passed the aux cord to Octavio, who was just taking his coat off for the ride home. He looked a little beyond himself.
"You trust me with the music? Wow - what'd they put in these fries?"
Natalie held off on a laugh while she tried to finish chewing, though her smile was tell enough on her amusement. "I actually like your music taste."
Makoa requested simply, "Nothing too dirty though, please, Silva."
"Me? Liking dirty music?" Octavio snorted, "You know me so well. How about flirty music?"
The man chortled. "That works, brotha'."
Octavio hooked the cord to his phone, and swiped his screen for a few moments before stopping on something. He looked hesitant, briefly, and pressed his screen. He set his phone down and put his hand on Alexander's, their arms both resting on the armrest.
The song sounded so dreamy. When the intro became a little more recognizable, before the lyrics, Loba made a snort from the back.
"You like this song?"
Octavio feigned offense, looking back to her with a "Of course I like this song!"
He shook his head and laughed softly - looking over to Blóð, who sat behind Alexander, he sang over the song and moved his hand from Alexander to cup their face.
"You're so uwu," his voice came sweet and a bit grainy, moving his hand from their cheek to their chin. Blóð practically giggled - blushing and leaning forward into his touch.
"You make me wanna' do," Octavio took his hand away and gave them a wink, "Naughty things to you - all these things to you, you."
Elliott joined the flirt-singing, joining Octavio in the chorus while they oh-so shamelessly wooed their other two partners (and each other, mind you). The others would've said a joke about it, but Ajay was busy holding Natalie's hand and cuddling up to her, while Anita was busy running her hand through Loba's hair and speaking quietly amongst themselves. The others didn't have the heart to interrupt their moment.
Besides, the song was catchy.
"You know you're cute, right?" Octavio sung in Alexander's direction, who shook his head. Still, he wore a soft smile and kept his hand reached over to rub Octavio's thigh.
Elliott leaned over to the side behind Octavio's seat, Blóð matching the movement from the opposite side, and wrapped an arm around the hunter's waist. He continued the phrase with a cocky smile, "Cute as a button-"
Then the two sang together, "Undoing the buttons and pushing your buttons, I just wanna' get you right-"
It was a red light, and so Alexander took the opportunity to lean over and kiss Octavio - lingering for a moment or two before pulling away and focusing back on the road just in time for the light to turn green.
Octavio's heart was a puddle.
Blóð reached a free hand across the armrest to drape his hand over the one Alexander had over Octavio's leg, their fingers soft and gentle in the way they caressed the back of both their hands. Elliott went to continue singing the song, but Octavio stole a kiss much to his surprise. He hummed, and just before they pulled away, Elliott opened his eyes and let his gaze linger at the man driving.
The glimpse of one another was quick, but just as warm as everything else, and left Elliott with a bigger smile than previously.
Octavio pulled up his leg that wasn't currently the resting place of Alexander's and Blóð's, resting his arm on his knee.
He was so lucky.
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-
And finally by 6, everyone was tuckered out - ready to take some personal time alone before reconvening later tonight for celebrations. Putting groceries away, Elliott setting up the bettas (as well as having a bit of an audience while doing so), and having a pre-celebratory drink from the sauvignon left the group in need of a quick sit-down. They found themselves just comfortable in the living room, along with Bear and Octavio's cat, Octave, sleeping on one of the couches. Rightly, this was the couch the four of them decided to occupy.
Renee crossed her legs, her black-painted nails running over the leather of her knee-high boots. "Any plans before tonight?"
"Oh?" Tae Joon began, "I thought we were just going to be alone before- ah, ten tonight?"
"I'm just wondering if that was the time we could agree on."
Octavio gave a nod. "Should work for me, at least. I plan on getting blasted, hah."
There was a heavy silence - his other partners looking rather surprised and, especially Blóð, flushed upon hearing that.
Elliott cleared his throat. "Come again?"
Anita snorted at his wording. Elliott gave a quick "Not- not what I meant, uh-"
Renee shrugged, wearing a look painfully smug. "I mean...a bit too much information, but I'm sure that'll go well."
Alexander cleared his throat.
Octavio, despite his nature to immediately take things dirty, just now got what the issue was. And did he find it hilarious.
Through a series of snorts and laughs, he reiterated what he meant; "If I meant I was gonna' get pounded, I would just say that-"
Blóð, Elliott, and Alexander made a simultaneous "Octavio-!"
He kept laughing, shaking his head, "I meant- like, I'm gonna' smoke a joint. Ay, Dios mío - but hey, if that other option is on the table-"
There was another simultaneous "Octavio!" and it seemed to get him to stop talking and simply laugh. He and the others found this absolutely hilarious, leaving his partners to be lost for words and red in the face.
Octavio snorted, and dared to entertain a final joke.
"Like a refreshment."
"What?" Loba narrowed her eyes, leaning forward in interest in what he could possibly say right now.
"Y'know," Octavio snickered, "Quickie's like a refreshment. And there's four of us - heh, call that a concession stand."
Loba couldn't hold the shocked, boisterous laugh she made hearing that - no one really could.
There was a silence after the laughter died down. It was broken when Ajay snorted, though.
"Stop encouraging him-!" Elliott near scrambled to say, but was cut short when Ajay gave him a laugh and a 'look.'
"I know the one flirting wit' 'im all day isn't telling me t' not encourage him. Don't act like you don't like this."
Elliott quickly bit his tongue and raised his hands in the air.
"Touché."
Another small bout of quiet settled.
Loba snorted.
Octavio looked at her, and when their eyes met, they both snorted, and had to turn away to not outright laugh.
Given the situation, a little fun was wanted out of it. Of course, trivia about one another was a frequent, and a favourite, activity amongst themselves. If they all had any one exact thing in common, it'd be that they were all unabashedly nosy.
Loba uncrossed, then recrossed, her legs as she sat up a little. "Truth or dare without the dare, anyone?"
"I think that's a thing called 'having a conversation,'" Anita jokingly mocked.
"Then let's have one." Loba hummed, "I actually had a question for you," she pointed a nude-shade manicured finger towards Dr. Nox, who looked suddenly surprised.
"What is it?"
The woman leaned forward a bit, cusping her hand around her face as if she was telling a secret - the hand facing no one, ultimately defeating the purpose - and talking somewhat low but audible for everyone to still hear.
"Be honest. Is that sweetheart thing true, or was Octavio being dramatic?"
"Oh my god."
His exasperated expression made his partners in particular so delightfully entertained - Octavio especially, laughing and giving a shrug as he left the man to answer the question for himself. He must've mentioned it to them when they were at a store earlier today.
"The people are waiting," Ajay chimed in. It earned the approval of Loba, as told by the way she looked smug about someone else prodding it.
Alexander lifted his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose in thought, and when he couldn't stave the answer off any longer he was brought to the doorstep of needing to say something.
With hesitation, he sighed. "True enough that she responds to it as well as her actual name."
As if on cue, right after he finished speaking and everyone was ready to pull the expected "big guy soft for a cat" card, Bear shifted her position from simply lying beside him to lying on her side and pressing her face against his upper leg. Despite it all, the instinct to lower a hand and pet her big sweet face was lost not in the man.
The onslaught of "Aww!"s would've been anticipated.
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ggukkieland · 3 years
Note
Hello again 👋
First of all, thank you very much for taking some time in compiling and recommending me idol aus. 🥰 When I asked about it I was just hoping you'll send me about 3-5 works but sending me an entire list - LIKE A LIST CONTAINING ABOUT 50 OF THEM! OMG! 😲 I was super stoked, happy and thankful for your effort in replying with my ask 💕 You even placed ⭐s in to be noticed easily. Thank you so so much 💓
Secondly, I am happy to make you smile even just with a simple ask 💖 and thank you for being so kind and sweet 😊 I usually send asks to authors and send them my feedback especially feelings with what they are writing or probably what I am currently reading from my fics and I tell you, I don't think I'm a warm person? 🙈 I tend to send asks sounding super happy, sad, frustrated and even angry whatever emotion I feel after reading a fic or an updatelol. I think some who receives my asks/messages tend to get the vibes or mood I'm currently in but I try my best to send messages kindly and respectfully since I don't want to hurt someone through my words. And just show how much I appreciate all authors here as much as possible. 🤗
Lastly, I would love to talk to you because I love talking to new people but I tend to get lost with topics so I do stick with sending messages as an anon 😬 and I just hope to give some love and encouragement to different writers here. 💞 Speaking of which, do you also write? I mean I would love to read your stories. I do navigate your blog but it kinda gets overwhelming sometimes like I want to read a lot of it and another thing, idol aus aren't really on my top list as well just like fantasy au, arranged marriage au, supernatural au and a lot more but can't remember what type specifically but because of you I started reading some (not all though still not that into it but I try) of it and appreciate it. I was just scrolling through my feed thar I saw the First Love, Last Love and I scrolled past it like multiple times since I'm not into idol aus but I kinda read a part/chapter you shared then eventually decided to start from chapter 1 and I was hooked so I resulted to asking you for recommendations because you're the reason I saw and read FLFL. And I realized that it was a nice change of genre (pace?) than what I usually read so thank you so so much!
Now, I am sorry this is too long, I got overwhelmed a bit because I was happy that I made you smile and such hehe and I guess my reply is kinda all over the place like no coherence or something - free flowing lol and that's why I'd rather read than write. Hahaha
Anyway, thank you so much for being so kind and friendly. I hope you have a great day ahead and if in case the day's not that good remember that it'll pass and there's nothing you can't overcome because you are stronger than you think you are. Take care - EJ 💙
🌷 You’re welcome, EJ💙! First, thank you for your message! My response below the cut: 
Yeah, I was about to share around 4 to 5 fics but the more I look at my reblogs I kept adding this or that because I thought “wait Navy is good, it’s a must read.” “Oh wait I should include this fic” So there. 😁
Someone said it’s so organized but it felt messy to me.  I just pulled from my blogs and posted everything so I feel like I should fix it (I will organize per member). I’d like to eventually just put a catalog with links that’ll lead to reblogs because I think seeing the reblogs is a good teaser to start reading (like in your case you kept seeing FLFL on your dash and the summary, the banner, other details probably hooked you in ). But lists are also good because when you google tropes/AUs, lists usually pop up versus the fic itself. So either way, they have purpose.
Second, I think it’s nice that you actually put in effort to communicate with authors! I just try to reblog or comment sometimes but I hope others get to see the fics and get inspired to read or try them. I think your tone is still warm but I guess we have moods too, right? But it’s great you are putting in effort to engage. I think authors will appreciate that. 
Third, No I don’t write! hahaha I wish I could. But I read more than write. I could probably tell a story but writing it is different. I get what you mean that blogs can be overwhelming. Even I get overwhelmed realizing I was actually reading a lot of fics. I guess I don’t notice it anymore I just read then reblog, read then reblog 🤭. The lists help me organize everything but it’s just meant to be a reference... in case someone needs it (even I refer to it from time to time) 
I think AUs are layered too. Like I don’t like IDOL AUs but I would read if other themes are included (like there’s fake dating or bodyguard, etc). So even if I don’t read Sports AUs, there are probably a hundred of them I’ve read because I was more focused on the other tropes (like unrequited love or something else)
Thank you for your message. It’s long but I appreciate the effort you put into writing it. I wish you a good day too. I agree with what you said. Like what RM said “Everything Goes” and I always think of this phrase when bad things/feelings happen. 
Enjoy and let me know if you need help (like there’s a mood you’re going for, I can tell you which fic to start with first)
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lunarlooroo · 6 years
Note
I loved your response to the prompt about jealous!Snape so I was wondering if you could flip the prompt and do jealous!Heather? It would be a delightful reversal of the trope, and honestly I'm living for awkward!Snape who has no clue how to deal with these situations. I'm pretty sure post-battle warhero Severus Snape is bound to receive some attention. And I'd love to see Heather react to all that! Thank you again for all of your amazing writing!
It was something Heather liked to tease Severus about, his sudden popularity. After the whole truth about his real loyalties and all the effort he put into helping them win the war, it came as no surprise when countless gifts of appreciation started streaming in. Sure, there was still a sizeable faction that had their doubts about his true nature. However, a growing number of people admired him for his work. He was just as likely to receive sneers as well as smiles while walking down the road.
Perhaps more surprising to some was the demographic of Severus’ admirers. They were mostly young to middle-aged witches, both single and married. Heather didn’t find it hard to believe that so many people were suddenly trying to seek his favour. To her, it was plainly obvious how brave, noble, intelligent and attractive he was. Unlike everyone else, however, she had seen all that before he was an acknowledged war hero.
As yet another owl struggling under the weight of its burden flew straight towards him, Heather didn’t bother to hide her giggle. The man looked so utterly fed up that she just couldn’t help herself! That was the third one this week, and it was only Thursday.
He never opened the gifts he received, opting to let the house elves handle them as needed. It was a good thing, as she had heard from Mipsy that one of them had contained a few, shall we say, less-than-appropriate articles of clothing – which hadn’t been washed. Other things like sweets or books were donated to the school after being vetted for safety.
“Who is it from this time?” she asked, leaning over to read the attached card.
Severus grunted, thrusting it at her. “See for yourself.”
She burst into laughter when she set eyes on it. Enclosed in the card was a picture. Not just any picture. A moving wizarding picture of the sender in a rather risqué pose. Objectively, the woman was rather beautiful, all curves and dips in the right places. Pink pouty lips blowing the camera a kiss.
Heather found it hilarious. Quite a few people had asked her if she felt jealous that Severus was getting so much attention from all those women, but they clearly didn’t see how disgusted he was by it all. If looks could burn, the photo in her hands would be ashes with how much Severus was glaring at it.
Which was why when the next package arrived, she was surprised to see Severus accept it graciously, after a cursory glance at the sender’s name.
“Who is that from?” She watched as he slipped the small parcel into his pockets, curious about what it contained.
“Narcissa Malfoy.”
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise at that. “Draco’s mother?”
Severus nodded curtly as he pushed his chair back. “Excuse me, I shall take my leave first. I have a few things to tend to today, but I left a few instructions for you in the lab. I will be back for dinner.” With that, he strode out of the Great Hall, leaving a puzzled Heather in his wake.
Heather lingered a little over her breakfast, musing over Severus’ odd actions. Usually, when he had instructions for her, they were something new he wanted to teach. Hence, he would be with her to make sure she knew what to do before leaving her to it. This was a first.
“Alright there, Heather?” Headmistress McGonagall, or Minerva, as she insisted, asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.” Come to think of it, the older witch had been Severus’ teacher. Heather wondered if she knew anything about this. “I have a question. Were Severus and Mrs Malfoy friends in school?”
Minerva gave her an amused smile. “Yes, I believe they were. Or as much as a halfblood and a pureblood could be, in Slytherin. They tried to play it off as a mutually beneficial acquaintanceship, but I could tell they did enjoy each other’s company beyond that.”
Heather thought about those words as she made her way back to the dungeons. She had only met Narcissa Malfoy twice, after the Battle of Hogwarts and during the court trial that acquitted both her and Draco of any crime. Lucius Malfoy had been sentenced to a few years in Azkaban, but that was unavoidable, given his active and willing participation in the war.
She didn’t know much about the woman, but she remembered being impressed by the poise and dignity she maintained, even as she faced the jeering crowd in the courtroom. That, and she could admire a woman who was willing to risk her life for the safety of her son.
What she hadn’t expected was for Severus and Narcissa Malfoy to be close friends, though. She could see how it worked, now that she thought about it. They had quite a few similarities, despite their difference in background. Both trapped by circumstances of their birth. Narcissa, third born daughter, destined to be married off as a pawn for political gain. Severus, poor halfblood sorted to a house where blood purity reigned supreme. Both willing to do anything necessary to protect those they loved.
She wondered, for a moment, if they’d had something more between them than friendship. Something that could have blossomed had it not been for their difference in station. Picturing them standing side-by-side, she found that they looked very suited to each other.
An ugly burst of emotion had her scowling at the thought.
What did she, a girl half his age, still in the middle of her apprenticeship – to Severus himself, no less – have to offer a man like him? Unconsciously, she found herself thinking about the racy picture that had been sent to him earlier. The voluptuous figure of the woman, where it had made her laugh just an hour before, only made her self-conscious now. Due to her upbringing at the Dursleys, her stature had remained on the short side, with barely any figure to speak of. Her waif-like physique only made her look younger than she was.
She couldn’t help but compare that to Narcissa Malfoy, a rather tall woman, whom while petite, was far Heather’s own stick-like figure. If stood next to each other, Heather would look comically like a little girl playing at womanhood. While she was rarely one to pay attention to her appearance, in this instance, she felt acutely lacking.
Perhaps Severus had gone out to meet Narcissa? It wasn’t a farfetched conclusion to come to. Her husband was stuck firmly in prison for the foreseeable future, and Heather and Severus hadn’t made each other any promises, besides.
It was a bitter pill to swallow.
~~~
Heather had been distracted all day with thoughts of what Severus could possibly be doing and if he was doing it with Narcissa Malfoy. The so-called tasks Severus had for her were little more than grunt work. It seemed too much like he just wanted to occupy her with mindless work for the day.
Well, he needn’t have bothered. If he’d just said that he didn’t want to be disturbed, she would have left him alone. She wouldn’t go where she wasn’t welcome.
It was evening by the time she slogged through the chore list. Opting for a quick shower to wash off the day’s grime before dinner, she was surprised to see a house elf waiting patiently outside her rooms. He passed her a short note before blinking away.
For some reason, Severus had chosen to pass her notes like they were still students rather than talk to her directly. For a moment, she had the childish urge to ball the paper up and throw it in the fireplace. That was silly though, because as far as she knew, Severus could have simply gone out to restock his potions supplies or any other boring errand. All her thoughts about Narcissa Malfoy or other women were just her wild imaginings.
The note said to meet him at his quarters before going dinner. It was an odd request, but she would see what he wanted. Hopefully a bath would clear her head. She didn’t really want to go into this frustrated.
It gave her some time to think, so she stepped out of her bathroom with a calm heart. There was no use jumping to conclusions right now. Honestly, her earlier suspicions seemed very stupid from where she was now. She wasn’t usually this irrational, but then, love did strange things to a person.
Still, she put on one of her prettier dresses and put her hair up in a nice braid before making her way to Severus’. A girl didn’t need reasons to dress up.
As she approached Severus’ door, she felt the unmistakeable tingle of magic. How peculiar for him to have a proximity ward up.
‘Something to hide,’ a traitorous part of her mind whispered.
To no surprise at all, he opened the door before she even knocked. The moment he set eyes on her, however, he half-frowned.
“You found out,” he said, disgruntled.
Three words. Just 11 letters. They had her heart rabbiting in her chest. What did he mean? Found out what? Dread took root as she considered the words. Did he mean Narcissa Malfoy? Were her suspicions actually right?
“You were acting odd today,” she settled on saying. She clasped her hands behind her back to keep the trembling out of view.
Sighing, the man stepped back to let her in. “I should have known you would not miss that.”
Of course not. Few paid him more attention than she did. She had seen him at his worst and his best. She would think she knew what he looked like when he was hiding something. She kept her silence as he guided her further into his rooms with a hand on her back. Any other time, she would have enjoyed it. Now, though, it felt too much like a gentle let down. Just as the elegant dinner set out across his dining table would have been romantic under other circumstances.
“Very beautiful,” she said sincerely. Despite the ache growing in her chest, she could appreciate the effort he put into making this as nice a rejection as possible.
“Thank you. I had help.” He even pulled her seat out like a proper gentleman.
And because she was a masochist, she asked, “Was it Narcissa Malfoy?”
It was, of course. She didn’t know what else she had expected to hear.
The meal was lovely, as expected of a perfectionist like Severus. She smiled at him, laughed when he made snarky quips. She acted like it was any other day. For now, she could pretend that this was just a thoughtful gesture on his part, perhaps even a romantic one. The illusion shattered once the last bite was taken.
“Heather, as I am sure you already know, I prepared this dinner for a reason.” He looked intently at her as he said this. “There is something I have been meaning to say for a while now, and I apologise for taking this long to tell you.”
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. It hurt that he had apparently been stringing her along for quite some time, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry. His gaze softened as he wiped some of her tears away. There, that was why she couldn’t get mad. Even when he was breaking her heart, he was being so nice about it.
Severus slid something across the table towards her. She recognised it as the package from this morning, from Narcissa Malfoy. Wildly, she wondered why the woman had thought to give her a gift in this scenario. Was it a wizarding custom she was unaware of? ‘I’m sorry I stole the love of your life, have some chocolate to eat your sorrows away’?
Nonetheless, she reached out to pick it up. With shaky fingers, she unwrapped the brown paper to reveal its contents. She gasped when her eyes fell upon the delicate filigree locket inside. Carefully, she clicked it open and saw that it was a picture of her parents on their wedding day. Suddenly, she realised that this necklace had belonged to her mother. It didn’t show any signs of age, however, looking almost brand new.
“Your grandparents gifted this to your mother on her wedding day. When I found it in the wreckage of Godric’s Hollow, it was in great disrepair. I asked Narcissa if she could find a jeweller to restore it to its original state.”
She fingered the platinum, touched. The gesture confused her a little, however. Why bother to go to such lengths? Still, she thanked him for the gift, though she wondered how she would be able to stand looking at it when it was connected to such a painful memory.
Severus stood and walked over to her side of the table. Kneeling in front of her, he took her hands in his. She braced herself, this was it. He’d finally say the words that would break her heart.
“Heather,” he began, and she couldn’t even tear her eyes away. She gripped his fingers tightly. “I love you.”
She froze at those words.
Then she burst into tears.
“Oh thank Merlin!” she sobbed.
The man was obviously bewildered by her reaction. “What?”
“I- I thought you were breaking up with me!” She threw her arms around him. “I love you too, you darling man.”
“Thank you, but wait. What?” he sputtered. “Why on earth would you think that?”
She ducked her head, embarrassed. “I was just being a right idiot. Ignore what I said.”
Severus pushed back a little to look at her face. “No, hold on. I thought you knew about my plans! That is why you are dressed so nicely, isn’t it?”
“A girl doesn’t need a reason to dress up!” Heather maintained. She wasn’t trying to compete with anyone, she wasn’t.
“Heather,” he said in reprimand.
She refused to look at him, staring at her lap. “Okay, so apparently you’re pretty close to Narcissa Malfoy. I may have jumped to a few conclusions.”
“Narcissa?” he frowned, “Let me assure you, she is firmly devoted to Lucius.” He tipped her chin up so he could look her in the eye. “As I am to you.”
Oh. Hastily, she wiped her tears away, feeling even sillier than before. “I can’t believe I ruined your surprise. And you went to such effort, too! This was all so very romantic.” She laughed, a tad hysterically.
“None of that now.” He pulled her hands away, keeping her from hiding her face. “I wouldn’t say it was ruined. I did manage to say what I wanted to, and I got my answer as well. I would count this as a success, wouldn’t you?”
“Well, if you put it that way…”
“Though I suppose there is something we missed out,” Severus added.
“Wha-”
Her question was swallowed when Severus leant in and joined their lips together. Her eyes fell shut as she savoured the kiss, bringing her hands up to cup his face. He seemed intent on chasing away any doubts she had for his feelings. It was working.
“I love you,” he reiterated, once they surfaced to breathe.
“Yes, I think I know now,” she said, grinning like a lunatic. “I love you too.” They stayed there, cradled in each other’s arms for a few moments before she broke the silence. “Does this mean I get to call you my boyfriend?”
Severus made a sound of disgust. “I would thank you not to refer to me with such a juvenile term. We are not fatuous third years.”
“Sweetheart then?” she asked cheekily.
“No part of me is sweet.”
Heather put a hand on his chest, right on top of where his heart beat. “I stand to differ, but if you don’t like that, then maybe…I’ll just call you mine.”
“Only if I may do the same.”
Heart soaring, she closed the distance between them again. “Deal.” And she sealed it with a kiss.
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Rio & Buster
Rio: [Airport selfie] Rio: That's the 2nd time I've dealt with your 'rents now, you so owe me Buster: How do you look that good right now Buster: I reckon you owe me for that glow, babe Buster: But yeah...name your terms Rio: 😊 Rio: Still worth it, even if we didn't get to finish properly 😒 Rio: I'll think on it, nothing that inspiring in duty free, like Buster: I should've pulled a sickie and come with you Buster: They can't be in both houses at once, like Rio: That'd be some intense hellicopter parenting that I don't think they're about Rio: Nance does not make the most of the freedom she has, like Buster: I'd rather they buy me a helicopter Buster: She might now that she has a girlfriend, I don't know and don't wanna Buster: If she could hang we'd be able to co-ordinate the parties 😒 Rio: Keep dreaming big, babe 😂 Rio: Ew, fair point Rio: sure she still spends most of her time at nan and grandads Rio: effort to feed yourself and be all alone in that big gaff Buster: It ain't Buster: She's got skills and a phone if she's too lazy to use 'em Buster: Such a waste Rio: Yeah but you know Rio: company's company Rio: but now she's got her gf maybe she'll change her mind, like you said Rio: gotta remember her name Buster: Grandad's a top bloke but come on 😂 Buster: Whatever Buster: Enough about my sister Rio: Rude Rio: What do you wanna talk about then? Buster: You Rio: My favourite subject, 'course 😏 Buster: When can you come back? Rio: Gotta get the rota then I'll let you know Rio: Can you make sure your parents are like, really fucking busy tho Rio: can't deal with an interruption again Buster: They were meant to be this weekend, but yeah, honestly if another meeting gets cancelled I'll make sure they don't get the memo Buster: I need you all to myself Buster: All weekend Rio: Forreal 😂 Rio: Sabotage that schedule Rio: don't they know we need every second we can grab, like Rio: not got time for a cuppa and a catch up, please Buster: I'll change the locks if I have to Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you Rio: What a cockblock of a weekend, like old times Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't miss that Rio: Only so long before exciting turns into frustrating, facts Buster: I'm not a doctor, like but I reckon there's only so long before you risk getting carpal tunnel Rio: 😂 Rio: Still time if you fancy it Rio: so knowledgable Buster: At least I can say it's all those essays I've done Buster: Not a decent excuse when you're blind with hairy palms Rio: You're so silly Buster: Tell it to the lads so they'll find somewhere else to hang Buster: I'm about to start wearing a purity ring so they stop throwing girls at me Rio: Reformed character, like Buster: I mean, I'm still 😈 just it's all for you Rio: Shame you can't hit 'em with that Rio: bigger laugh than the 💍 Buster: Don't Rio: Obviously not Rio: They aren't that bright, won't they buy a fucking Canadian girlfriend or whatever? Buster: Can't we just be real everyone Buster: with* Buster: Would it really be so fucking bad if they all knew? Rio: You're ready to find out? Buster: It's not like we're committing a crime Rio: Yeah but Rio: people are still going to think it's weird Rio: at best Buster: I don't care what anyone thinks Rio: Alright Rio: then tell all your friends rn Rio: you gotta live with it, like Buster: So what, you're daring me now? Buster: This isn't a game, Rio Buster: Even if you're playing one Rio: I ain't, I'm trying to show you what a bad idea it is Buster: Are you in this or not? Buster: 'Cause it sounds like you're playing for time like you don't reckon we can keep this up Rio: Of course I am, wouldn't have done it if I weren't Rio: but we can't just out it, like Rio: if you think it's hassle now, that'll be more, surely Buster: Why would it? We wouldn't have to sneak around anymore if everyone knows Rio: We would if the fam nopes on it that hard Rio: they might Buster: They could try Buster: Nobody can tell us what to do Rio: Babe, we'd still only be able to see each other at weekends, my odd weekdays off Rio: that's the main problem, still Buster: I know, alright Buster: I know Rio: that don't mean we can't make it work Buster: Until some other lad comes along who you can see when you want Buster: And isn't your fucking cousin, like Rio: You really reckon? Buster: Like you said, this is hassle, yeah? Rio: Fuck off Rio: Don't twist my words Buster: I'm asking, genuinely Buster: Do you still wanna do this or not? Rio: 'Course I fucking do Rio: I love you Rio: what you saying, you're over it? Buster: No Buster: I couldn't ever be over you Rio: Then don't be chatting that shit Buster: I'm just saying Buster: School's only just started basically Rio: I'd rather this than stop Rio: no, I can't stop Rio: right? that ain't changed Buster: Not for me Buster: I want you more if anything Buster: That's the fucking problem Rio: I know Rio: we just gotta do what we gotta do still Rio: there ain't an alternative that's just how it is Buster: Before you ever touched me I could handle just looking at you, I reckoned, for as long as, and then when you did I was like I've got this out of my system now, yeah? And any time I got to be with you after was a bonus Buster: But now Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much the plan Rio: but that ain't how it is, it ain't going away Rio: wanting you, needing you Buster: Yeah Buster: I love you so much Rio: Oh, Buster Rio: I love you too Buster: Hold onto it, okay? Rio: Promise Buster: Good Rio: it's shit now but it's gonna be so good you can't even imagine, okay? Buster: I know Buster: I've got plans, babe Buster: Just give me time Rio: I am Buster: You've got yours too Buster: So if we both stay busy Rio: Only way is up Rio: Serious, I wouldn't be steaking anything on you if I didn't think you were worth it, we was Rio: that ain't me, I don't do that Buster: Likewise Buster: I've broken enough of my rules for you to get that you're different Rio: Duh Rio: taking the bit slightly too far at this point otherwise Buster: So get on the plane and do what you gotta do, babe Buster: Including sending me that rota when you have it Rio: 👍 Rio: That's more like the daddy I know and love 😘 Buster: 👑 Rio: You know it Buster: We both do Rio: You're the best Rio: I ain't letting someone else have you Buster: Well good 'cause no other cunt is gonna take you from me either Rio: Nope Rio: All yours Buster: Say it again Rio: I'm yours Buster: Baby Rio: Mm? Buster: I just wanted to call you baby Rio: 😋 Carry on Rio: that's my favourite Buster: You're my favourite Buster: I'm so glad you're mine Rio: I still can't believe it, I swear Rio: ridiculous Buster: I know Buster: It's a headfuck Rio: Good one though Buster: 'Course Rio: Right answer boy 😉 Buster: Not just a pretty face, like Buster: I get A's 'cause I've got the answers Rio: Sure 🤓 Buster: I know exactly what you wanna hear, baby Rio: 😩 Rio: Then tell me Buster: Let me show you something first Buster: [Sends pics] Rio: Fuck Rio: You know I wanna turn around already and then you hit me with that Buster: I just want you to see what's waiting for you Buster: Come back now Rio: How does it feel to be so hot that you got me wanting to move my whole life out to be near you, like Rio: I can't handle it, ugh Buster: You can ask yourself that question any time, babe Buster: But first retrace your steps Buster: I'll buy you a new flight Rio: You really let me get to Heathrow before asking? Rio: Boy Buster: I was trying to behave Buster: Let you do your thing Rio: Still 😈 for me, remember? Buster: Yeah Rio: How bad do you want me back? Buster: It ain't want Buster: I need you back so bad Rio: Fuck it Rio: Give you a chance to finish what you started forreal Rio: not just leave me here turned on Buster: I'll come pick you up Rio: Okay Rio: Hurry, like Buster: Don't worry I'm getting a cab so you can have my full attention Rio: 😻 Rio: Good Rio: don't need to cause an accident, like Buster: If the driver can't keep his eyes on the road it ain't my fault Rio: You don't know Rio: might like you, babe Buster: If he could be looking at you and he's gone for me he shouldn't be driving Buster: Needs his eyes checked obviously Rio: You're such a charmer Rio: but actually, no sarcasm Buster: You're so beautiful Buster: Actually Rio: Stop Rio: Gonna get emotional Buster: You should hear it more Rio: It's not the word that comes to mind for most Buster: Forget them then Buster: Their loss, babe Buster: 'Cause you are Rio: I don't care Buster: I care so much Buster: About you Rio: I'm not going to question it 'cos I'm so glad you do Rio: and me too Buster: The cab's moving for once so I shouldn't be long Rio: 🙌 Buster: Entertain yourself as best you can, like Rio: Dirty boy Buster: 😏 Rio: You got me like that but departures lounge don't need to know it Buster: True you don't need a ban Buster: At least not from the closest one Rio: you reckon they'd put me on the no fly list? bit harsh Rio: not even a protest never mind act of terrorism Buster: 😂 Rio: best come bail me out Rio: your fault, only fair Buster: And no fun if they don't get the cuffs out, yeah? Rio: 'course 😻 Rio: but airport police have guns and that's a step too far in kinkiness for me, ngl Buster: Noted Buster: This ain't an episode of the Sopranos Rio: That's a whole mood aesthetically but I don't need to end up whacked, tah Buster: No argument from me Rio: 😂 Encouraging! Buster: What are you gonna do for real then? Rio: Hmm Rio: Any suggestions? Buster: Eat something Buster: You're gonna need all your energy Rio: Good idea Rio: plus you've done your gentlemanly thing for the day, no need to buy me dinner too Buster: Probably check out the duty free for real, can't be a total disappointment Buster: Babe you know I'll feed you whenever and whatever you want. Not a kink just love Rio: Yeah, always good for living lavish at half the price Rio: though imma need a wardrobe like yours if I'm hitting up the designers every week like 😏 Rio: I know, you daddy Buster: I'll set you one up in the one Nance ain't using Rio: Coming home to all my trashion Rio: gonna be so appalled 😂 Buster: Be hilarious to explain to her Buster: Rio's moving into your room, like Rio: No particular reason, you can keep your bed tho gurl Rio: wait, what Buster: Yeah like, she's also moving into mine Buster: Don't ask Rio: 😋 Rio: If she's anything like you, she wouldn't lmao Buster: We ain't alike, unlucky babe Rio: Umm Rio: 👌 Buster: Fuck off Rio: Babe 😂 Buster: Behave Rio: Not before I have to Buster: 😈 Buster: I'm not that far away so enjoy your jokes while you can Rio: I will Rio: almost as much as I'll enjoy my punishment, like Buster: Put it this way, it won't be the jokes you remember later Buster: The punishment you'll still feel Buster: 😏 Rio: 😩 Rio: Please Buster: Maybe when I can hear you properly I'll listen Rio: Ugh Rio: unfair Rio: at least tell me the traffic gods are still being kind Buster: They are Buster: I'll be with you soon Rio: Good Rio: Looks like I'm outta time to work on my best apology Rio: What a shame 😏 Buster: I can feel how sorry you are from here Buster: But feel free to still tell me if you think it's worth hearing Rio: And I'M all about manners, sure 😉 Buster: I've been spending to much time with you, obviously Buster: Take the blame, Cavante Rio: You wanna cancel next week, like? Rio: Forget the rota, nbd Buster: You might need the break once I've finally fucked you senseless without any interruptions Buster: But no Buster: I'll be ready for you then too Rio: I'll let you know afterwards Rio: Don't think you're getting rid of me that easy though, especially not if you do it like you say Buster: Don't you know by now that 1. I don't wanna be rid of you and 2. if anything it'll be even better than I say Buster: Modest to a fault as I am, like Rio: 'Course baby Rio: first thing that comes to mind, like Buster: Better not be the very first thing Rio: Okay Rio: first thing I can say out loud to anyone Buster: That's more like it Rio: Nearly got in the wrong cab Rio: Eager 😂 Buster: I'd have to go full movie moment and race after you until the chase down Rio: Got car chases and fight scenes on the brain Rio: Everyone knows the best bit of any Bond is the girl and the sex scene Buster: Believe me, that's not what I'm thinking about right now Buster: Happily in the majority agreeing about the sex scene Rio: I know Rio: wouldn't take the backseat of a cab over the driver's of your own if it was Buster: Get in Buster: The right car this time, like Rio: 😒 Hush Rio: Do my best Buster: I'll get out and pull you in Buster: Swear to god Rio: 😏 When he's willing to risk abduction charges for you Buster: Shhh Buster: You know I'd risk it all, babe Rio: Getting in before you can get any better, like Buster: Got the best already Rio: 😳
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