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fictive-explosion · 10 months

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Drunk Will likes Isopods…-Virgil

SILLY MKOTHERFUCJKERA.-Will Wood

#Id probably just drink that too #tw drunk

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faaun · 1 month

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ok let's catch up quickly

#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth #(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian #like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told #him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive #fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research #(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux #to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him #my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept #insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them #and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating #apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they #keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading #this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY #JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT #NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn #this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore #i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt #himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure #even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin #right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love #her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her #its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking #kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD #i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society #feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO #WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best #its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good #one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much

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andragoras-in-vanity · 1 month

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for the love of god someone convince me from texting my ex, i daydreamed too closr to the sun and now i want attention😭

#its not a door i should open #but idk if im crazy and i need to drop my suspicions and try again or if im really going to be right some day #and we get involved again then that person comes along and its a messy awful breakup and i just cant do that to them #but fuck i wish i could be with them #i would love them but the problem is (aside from their drinking) it would be so easy to fall in love with them #but they want long term and aside from me knowing im leaving the province soon i dont think wish how i am now id be okay with pretending #its not fair #i want to see them again #im jealous of attention they probably get and that theyve probably given #and i really hate how i was made and that i cant just go with the flow #but again drinking and dark eyes aside theyre practically perfect #i miss them so much sometimes that im actually posting more on instagram in the hopes theyll notice me again #i wonder if they think about me or if theyre too busy getting laid #cause theyre in a band so duh obviously theyre getting laid #I FUCKING HATE MY INABILITY TO BE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE #ITS NOT FAIR #I HATE MY SUPERSTITIONS SO DAMN MUCH I WANT TO LET THEM GO AND BE HAPPY BUT I CANT #I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE WITH WITH PRETTY BLUE EYES AND BIG HANDS #fuck nate was so close to perfect and i love that theyre so interesting and fuck i think id just give in if they had blue eyes #i could ignore the other problems and feel better about trying to be with them #mostly i just want them to kiss me and hug me again #they were so gentle about it and it felt so safe and i wanna cry cause i know its not fair to contact them #but fuck i wish i could #i dont want to be alone anymore and they made me laugh #i dont know what to do but i wish it was easier to at least meet people if not date them #i just want to feel something for someone new so i can feel like im over them #but sadly they work at ikea and its not even the closest one to me but i have to go there for a new mattress topper and jars #and i keep imagining running into them AND ITS FUCKING ME UP i want to talk to them but i cant do that

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year

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I know it would literally never happen, but whenever the speculation of who the next James Bond will be comes up, I can only think about how I would sell my soul to get a butch lesbian James Bond 😣

#cause people are always arguing against having a female 007 bcs it would change too much #okay so why not just swap her gender and change nothing else 😌#i realized when writing this post tho that my one oc is literally my concept for a lesbian james bond 😭#butch lesbian womanizer who wears suits all the time and smokes/drinks too much and loves money and weapons #i think about this every once in a while and i want it so badly but it will literally never happen #please she would be so masc and cool and sexy #i dont know if i necessary like the idea of making a new chara to be 007 #but like....female James Bond but nothing else changes 👀#im trying to fall asleep and i can only envision various scenes from casino royale but w my version of james bond #pls she could be jamie bond!!!#sorry this is completely random and probably nonsensical but it haunts me so often #every time i rewatch casino royale im like man...espionage movies are cool! and then start fantasizing about female james bond #the names bond. jamie bond.#maybe i will draw it sometime #just not sure how id design her bcs as i said my brain cant help but be a bit stuck on my oc that fits pretty well #but seriously. they wouldnt even have to change anything!#like they have all the jokey pun names for women...guess what. even more opportunities #but like gahhhhhh i think about a masc woman in the bond movies ive watched and im like wow i would enjoy this movie substantially more!#like the shower scene in casino royale........#i cant even rly bring myself to watch bond movies older than the daniel craig ones bcs the objectification and misogyny bothers me too much #but imagining a masc woman in their place 👀 i am on board!#imagining her with bond girls 😳😳😳😳😳#sorry again: super random but it is late please forgive me #catie.rambling.txt

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orcelito · 1 month

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Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

#speculation nation #negative/#i mean not exactly but also. ya kno.#really i dealt with death after death in may july november and the biggest in february #actually i think my great grandma died within the span between july and november. but i wasnt close with her & dont remember when #so idk if id count that. if i did then the longest would be 3 months. between november and february.#all this is to say. wow what a Fucking year last year was huh #i still dont rly feel like i have much trust in people staying alive in my life.#but maybe im a bit less scared of even more people in my life suddenly dropping dead.#... then again now i apparently have something wrong with my liver. which i am still not happy about.#the only reason why im not dying of anxiety is bc i still feel relatively normal overall.#but i also just remembered how. well. 28 has Long been my unlucky number. and im turning 28 next year.#so ive been half convinced im just gonna die when im 28. bc thatd be just my luck wouldnt it #and like overall theres no real reason why i Would die at that age. but now theres something wrong with my liver.#and like ok i dont think it's liver failure. i dont have any real symptoms for it #and if it was an emergency my doctor wouldve told me to go to the hospital. probably.#but idk. my truest anxiety about it is that it could be something cancerous. or something.#and really i have no reason to suspect that specifically. it's just one of the potential causes for the enzyme abnormality we found #but bc it's not entirely off the table. well now my mind has latched onto it. and is like 'What If'#and ok i just now looked into possible liver diseases to try to calm my anxiety. with mixed success.#bc i found all sorts of liver diseases. including cirrhosis. which is irreversible damage.#im just clinging to the hope of the fact that my readings werent Too high... just.#every single one associated with the liver was high. which means theres Definitely something wrong with my liver.#and im kind of scared it's bc of my prior alcohol use. i wasnt an alcoholic but i did drink pretty regularly for a bit.#but also how unfair would it be for me to get a liver disease from that??? the most i ever drank at one time was 8 shots #which is a lot but there are some people doing that kind of thing Regularly. and they dont get liver disease???#regardless this has been extra persuasion to stay off the alcohol. especially until i know what's up with it.#heyyyy mr liver inside me i prommy i will take good care of u from now on. pls dont die on me 😭😭😭#see ok this is what happens whem i start to think. i get anxious. i just need to keep not thinking.#it's 10 pm i think thats a good time for sleepies

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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What type of vitamins do AraSawa take

arakawa has a mini cvs in the bathroom cabinet. very religious about taking it, definitely had masato do the same while he was growing up. prob started because of masato in the first place and just continued even after masato was out of the house tbh. you have to physically pry open sawashiro's mouth to get him to take a vitamin c fruit gummy.

#snap chats #like you know how with dogs you have to fuckin :V their shit Yeah #yeah thats him.#if the doctor tells him he needs medicine he'll bin the prescription but if arakawa tells him to take it he'll do it Begrudgingly #just thought about the very real possibility sawashiro would dry swallow his pills im gonna throw up #YALL EVER DRY SWALLOW FISH OIL there was a phase in my life where i regularly took fish oil and thats what id do #that olive-oily-ass dry-ass stick-to-your-throat-ass fuckin feeling WHY. kinda miss it tbh #pill takers in the crowd who else dry swallows. im moving on now #yk what arakawa probably got in a cabinet them lil fuckinnnnn ginseng shots #i ssssWEAR to god when i was a teen my dad would make me take one of those shots before i left his place #im cringing remembering the flavor and how bitter it was but also i miss it 2x #anyway yeah arakawa does that to jo when he visits sorry. imagine taking that shit at fucking 8AM #right before driving to work where you kill people and hide their bodies your boss giving you the most wack shit ever #if its good for your health why is it like drinking battery acid #im ramblng way too long turns out i have a way more personal history with vitamins and the sort than i thought LMAOOOOO

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saturnsfather · 6 months

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yknow. if i had a nickel for every time i had a huge crush on someone, never did anything about it, then reconnected with them several years later only to be told that they Also Had Feelings For Me or Currently Have Feelings For Me, except because of the time distance or other factors i/we cant/wont do anything about it and then i pretty much never see them again, id have two nickels. which isnt a lot, but it sure did happen twice.

#tbd #just. reflecting #man. remember being a Kid.#funny enough neither guy was someone i cried over! i DID cry over a boy in middle school because i couldnt work up the nerve to ask him #to dance with me. which in retrospect is so silly. i did also still think i was a girl back then too #but anyway. first guy didnt work out bc by the time he told me he liked me #which by the way was WILD bc he basically admitted that the very distinct memory i have as a turning point in our relationship #where we actually became friends. was ALSO the moment he REALIZED HE HAD FEELINGS FOR ME. and it just never came up. lmao #but by then id been over him for a few years. and then i ghosted him.#second guy i reconnected with in high school and he got a girlfriend partway through that year.#but he had a car and occasionally gave me rides home from school. and on one of them we started talking #about the summer camp we originally met at. and i told him id had a huge crush on him back then #(fully equipped with the knowledge that i still did kind of have one)#and thats when he told me ‘haha woah really?? i had feelings for you too. thats crazy’#and then we never talked about it again.#to be fair it probably never would have worked with us anyway because i have I Could Fix Him disease #and always have.#and he already had a drinking problem. at sixteen. so you can imagine how i felt about that.#anyway. all this is to say.#if it happens again im gonna k!ll myself lol #thats a joke. i will not. but i will be So fucking mad

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lowpolycule · 1 year

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#𖦹 #poll #its not extrasuper special but mine is tequila sunset #i ordered it at an antifascist bar in tokyo while too young to drink in japan bc i Forgor. that drinking age is diff there than in finland #and they didnt ask for id and i only realized my mistake after the ppl i was talking to asked how old i was so i just had to lie #i still feel awfully quilty over it bc what if the bar got in trouble (wouldnt care if it was a normal bar but it was the only #antifascist spot in tokyo and super important for local queers etc etc) and also bc i Lied #this is why i cant say my age on instagram like probably ever i think. bc the ppl i talked to there follow me there and. theyll find out #i lied #anyway that tequila sunset fucked insanely hard and after having it i got my first ever migraine. in a capsule hotel. it was hell :3

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hearties-circus · 1 year

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I love my cane tooo

#gamer txt.#can you imagiñe me with my 'drunk walk' disordee whilst actually drunk without my cane #id be so fucked #i move so fast with my cane too luke i know ive eaud it before but i van actually like. walk with it #i walk like im on a mission too #all the people in the shops here me claxking down the aisle and move out the way #also my mum only just phoned me to ask when id be getting back and shes not mad at all even though theee eatliest train gets me home for 9 #so thats good to know for future reference #thank g-d i sobbered up enough for that phone call though i was worried i might sound fucked but im good <3 #wwe didnt even drink that much its just because i havent waten much today likw i had one pain au chocolat for breakfast and thn #got a small chippie like. 2 hours ago? which im counting qs my lunch #so if id eaten normally today id probably have been fine the whole way through honestly #food m

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crowley1990 · 1 year

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I know that everyone wants that freedom and independence of living alone and actually having an apartment themselves and I get the appeal but I genuinely worry I'd kill myself if I had my own place

#im not even actively suicidal in general #but i do. fucking nothing. when im home alone.#and i drink too mcuh #tha im just like yeah id probably end up killing myself #also i get paranoid when home alone...#i am never afraid of being broken into or afraid of random crime in general but i freak myself out when home alone #jb

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fictive-explosion · 10 months

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Wee dreunk aagain bsoys!-Wiwl wowd

#tw drunk #Id probably just drink that too

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chisatowo · 2 years

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I love unit swap Kohane sm I can't wait until I finally get around to drawing her I wanna make her look like she hasn't slept in 3 years and got thrown down a flight of stairs

#rat rambles #sekai posting #unit swap au #girlies who drink way too much coffee and energy drinks but caffine doesnt even work on them they just gave themself a caffine addiction #also shes a bit (a lot) depressed but shhhhh #hey at least I didnt strip her of her only pre unit story irl friend. yet.#ok I dont think I will cause I dont think theres any reason she and minori wouldnt know eachother here but yknow #I took all of an's friendships out back like old yeller as a sacrifice to keep minori and kohane as friends /j #kohane and minori are weak butch strong femme solidarity fr #strength alas does not cancel out her loser girl cringe however 😔#idk if I actually will make unit swap kohane butch tho tbh since Id need to think more on my canon kohabe hc design more first #mainly cause shed probably end up being a more like toned down version of that? since she doesnt put a lot of effort into her looks but I #think shed still impulsively at least get a start towards how shed like to present herself in an ideal world #but that can be later in the story idk #most of vbs rly just would look the same tho if not a bit more tired looking #thats why I had to give them fursonas /j #anyways I need 2 sleep gn gamers

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alpinelogy · 2 months

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#probably got fucking heatstroke. my head hurts and painkillers don’t do shit. i feel like throwing up half of the time. im literally too #weak to get from my bed and go downstairs to get more water and also drinking just makes the feeling of needing to hurl stronger #i wanna cry so bad but if i cry i will just be in more pain cause i will be more dehydrated. and I am in constant muscle pain already #it just fucking sucks. i was excited for this holiday. it’s my sisters birthday today and im too weak to even celebrate with her #instead i already almost screamed at her once cause she was laughing over her book. that I recommend to her #<- she was not only laughing over her book. she was basically for the first time experiencing the feeling of her otp meeting for the first #time and normally id be here with her laughing but no. instead i almost screamed at her and now shes doing her best to stay quiet :’’)#i just want to be physically okay body please :’’)#delete later #cw vomiting

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necromancer-nonbinary · 3 months

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i am way too autistic for this party shit

#ive been at my cousins wedding reception for four and a half hours and i am dead on my feet #and for at least a good hour i wasnt even inside i was standing outside in the dark nursing a drink #but we helped set up so we are staying to help with takedown too so its at least another hour #i just wanna go to sleep dude #id fare better if it was an open bar bc my sensory problems arent as bad when im drunk #but 1. it is not and 2. that is probably not a solution i should rely on long-term

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toastsnaffler · 4 months

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didn't even get to do my ironing :-(

#tw self harm #i was looking forward to it.. i usually find it calming n a nice way to end a weekend #but kept having thoughts abt intentionally burning myself or hitting myself with the iron so im leaving it for another day #its fine if my clothes are a bit crumpled at work anyway. i think i have some extra stuff i ironed i didnt wear last week too #im safe btw its fine ive been using ice + gentle pressure on my skin to take the edge off (i keep my nails too short to scratch dw)#if i did have to cut it wouldnt be ideal but its a neutral act i try not to judge it. but ik its less safe + i dont want it to become #a habit again bc i already let myself do it last weekend and im still a bit frustrated abt it bc id been managing so well #and it was the first time since january. and before then i hadnt since august which is a really big deal for me!#bc last year + year before i was really struggling with reliance on it. i had months where i was doing it daily or every other day #and its hardest to stop when its habitual. once on occasion is much more manageable so lets keep it that way #one day itll be the last time i ever do it and ill be clean the rest of my life but i dont think im near that yet #it feels kind of uncomfortable to type this out but i want to stop keeping my thoughts on s/h in my head bc i get weird abt it #and the last thing i need right now is to get weird abt harming urges again. and i dont think my friends are safe to talk to abt it #so talking on here is the closest thing i have to being open abt it. im tired of it being so stigmatised #ultimately its just a coping mechanism. even if it can be unsafe but like drinking or smoking or whatever to feel better is no safer so #but still i dont want to encourage it. anyway #at least ive calmed down a bit now. and i finished some admin i was putting off earlier #and now i need to sleep bc work tomorrow. just glad the weekend is over its so much easier to cope on work days #just the structure and distraction of it innit. we'll get through this week #and im back on the more stable dose again for meds this week as well so hopefully thatll help #and i think my periods due which has probably been tipping these mood swings over into intolerable #so hopefully thatll start tomorrow or tues and the hormonal shit will recede 🙏#all good. okay im gonna meditate a little and then sleep goodnight 😴#.diaries

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inmirova · 1 year

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cannot wait to show up to work tomorrow and like lose my mind if anyone asks me how my two days off were. fuck all the other reasons, I should be able to get my mood stabilizers represcribed without finding a new psychiatrist for the sake of literally every single person I'm going to encounter tomorrow

#me on two days no sleep and corticosteroids and in massive debt: if anyone says a drink i made is wrong ill kill them dead #not if i genuinely made a mistake but like not for nothing i very rarely do that people just dont know what theyre ordering #so i will be biting heads off.#like idec if youre like oh this doesnt taste right but youre nice about it but they almost never are and i wont be nice back #theyre like I WANT THIS MADE RIGHT THIS DRINK I ORDERED WITH NO ICE EXTRA MILK IS MILKYYYYYYYY #like oh my god fine ill remake it (now entirely decaf) with an extra shot since you refuse to pay for more at the register #and tbh if you were just like 'hey so sorry to bother you but this doesnt taste as strong as usual'#id probably pull an extra (actually caffeinated if you ordered it that way) shot for you and put it in your drink for free #and just be like 'just so you know x shots is standard but w the extra milk you might want to order 1-3 extra in it to compensate next time'#because fuck if ill suffer a repeat offender we have one dude who orders his drink wrong every day & hes so nice but i refuse to make it #i see his sticker and im like hey can someone come help and make this #bc he'll pull you off your bar for like 5-10 minutes minimum. we have a lady who does that too but she doesnt come in as often #her record is 45 minutes before i had to intervene and pull the barista out of there and be like 'sorry i need them to do their training!'#i wouldve stopped that convo earlier but i was doing stuff in the back of house and didnt know

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