#Idk if I've got the wrong book someone tell me

[oifaaa]

Screaming when Cass says Jason's the heart bc the guy does care so much

I love when writers acknowledge how emotional and caring Jason actually is it's also funny tho bc that panel is from batman and Robin eternal which also had Jason try to fight cass when he first meets her

[m4tthewsgf]

Birthday wishes

Matt Sturniolo x fem y/n !bday girl

Warnings: this one's kinda dark so tw for implied sh and suicidal thoughts/tendencies

Author's Note: today marks my 19th year of living and what's better than writing a story based on your feelings and hoping that it will provide you some comfort? 😃 yeah idk just felt the need to do that I guess so there you go, sorry if this is a bit much. Enjoy!!! You matter!!!

---

The day I've been dreading the most for the past 7 years arose. The day that I was brought into this world, a place I always wanted to leave behind. Ever since I was a teenager, I hated my birthday. Sure, when I was younger I did throw parties and got excited about it, but growing up sucks every ounce of innocence and pure joy that's left in one's body, just like a vampire that craves blood. Growing up sucks. The feeling of standing still while the years go by sucks. Everything sucks, but my birthday quadruples that emotion.

I find it ironic how I am supposed to celebrate my existence on a random day in January when I've been yearning to vanish for years. I mean, my age may change every year but I don't, and that scares me. To me, birthdays are like a second New Year's Day where you recap the year that went by only to realise that you did nothing with your life and that you had, in fact, stood still while the whole world was making any sort of progress. The constant feeling of hopelessness and sadness exhausted me. I had waisted so many birthday wishes the past few years for that matter, hoping that they would someday, somehow work and I'd get better, but it was no use. So, I just stopped wishing. Stopped wishing to get better, stopped wishing to be enough for someone, stopped wishing to finally be happy and loved. I stopped because I realised that I was doomed, and what can one do when their destiny has been prescribed to them from the moment they were conceived?

Now, don't get me wrong, I do find parts of life beautiful. Inside this dark, scary cloud that I have found myself drowning in, there certainly are some sun rays that peak through every now and then that remind me that there's beauty in breathing. Beauty in existing. They may not shine as bright for the most part, but when they do, it's always in the right moment when my evil thoughts and emotions take a hold of me. Music, dogs and cats, chocolate, books… Friends. My friends are the most beautiful people in this life. Well, my boyfriend is the most beautiful one out of all, but don't tell Nick and Chris.

Nick, Matt and Chris are basically the people that saved me. I met them when I was at my lowest and they were like a breath of fresh air, like a sip of clean, cold water after wandering around the Sahara desert. Somehow they just showed up in my life and pulled me out of my misery and darkness without even knowing. Sure, I'm still struggling mentally, but they gave me a reason to keep going when I was sure that there weren't any left. I still cannot understand how they did that, but I'm glad they did. Maybe they are superheroes whose superpowers are spreading kindness and hopefulness to the one’s who suffer. Or maybe their hugs are their superpower; when these guys hug you, they wrap their arms so protectively around you that not even your own thoughts can touch you. I don't know what it is, but they are for sure not normal, mortal people.

Even though I love them all equally and they make my days brighter, Matt, my boyfriend, was the one who actually showed me that maybe, just maybe, I am capable of living the life I always dreamed of. I may be 19 now with no dreams and desires, but I once were 7 as well, and little me always wanted to discover what love was and how it felt. She, in fact, wished for it; love. She wanted to be just like the Disney princesses she was so obsessed with, wanting to be wrapped in her lover's arms and find out herself if those butterflies everyone talked about tickled her stomach or not. And Matt did just that. He became her prince who saved her from the monstrosity of a mind her skull ironically protected. He saved her from an ugly, evil version of herself that older her viewed as a monster. It may not was a wicked witch or a fearsome dragon, but it was someone that was still a threat to her.

Matt knows every part of me. Hell, he knows parts of me I haven't even discovered yet. He knows every dent of mine, every scar and wrinkle and mole. He knows how my hands start to shake when someone raises their voice at me and how I pick the dead skin on my bottom lip until it bleeds when I'm stressed. He knows every single ugly thing about me and yet, he sees beauty in it. He sees humanity in the parts that I've baptised as ghastly and abhorrent, the parts I've spent my whole life hating on because they made me, me. At times it didn't feel real. How could someone as pure as him willingly be with a person who always ought to save others while she couldn't save herself? How could have he endured all of me and still choose to stay?

At first I thought it was pity. I assumed he felt sorrow for me and my patheticness, but that worry of mine was shorty discarded when he kissed every scar I had put on my body. He kissed every single one of them, from my thighs to my sides to my arms, caressed them with his fingertips so delicately that I had to question myself if I was some sort of porcelain doll, and whispered sweet little nothings while doing so. He still does that when I'm feeling down or when I'm doubting his love for me. I mean, who wouldn't? My whole life, all I knew was roughness and I was sure that I was incapable of receiving something other than that, but there he was, treating me with so much softness and warmth I didn't think I deserved. Matt was able to heal wounds he never created. His lips, arms and voice were the strings that stitched them together and made them go away. And whenever new ones opened, his kind and reassuring words were the bandages he put over them before stitching them, opting to keep them disinfected so I won't be in any more pain.

Matt was aware that on Christmas and my birthday I needed more care than any other day. He knew how on those two days I just wanted to disappear and my emotions consumed me, so he was extremely loving and comforting. We had multiple conversations about it, about what it was that made me so upset in those days so he could find a way to help me in any way, shape or form. The day I finally opened up to him about it still replays in my head.

Flashback

“Baby?” He asked as he entered the living room and closed the door behind him. I was curled up on a couch with a fuzzy blanket wrapped all over me with tear stained cheeks and red eyes. Once he heard my sniffles, he quickly made his way up to me and sat right next to where my tummy landed.

“What's wrong, beautiful? Did something happen?” He softly spoke as he wiped away a few more tears that escaped from my eyes. I didn't answer, I just shook my head and stared at the movie I was watching. He exhaled sharply and looked over at the TV screen, noticing that I was binge watching my favorite animated film I always put on when I needed some comfort.

“Hey,” he whispered and grabbed my chin to make my eyes fall on his, “you can talk to me, y/n. You're safe with me. Whatever it is, we will go through it together, I promise” he scanned my face.

“I'm sorry” I mumbled as more tears blurred my vision. Matt was quick to grab my face with both of his hands and shushing me. He knew I always apologized when I was feeling down.

“Hush dear, no need to apologize,” he cooed, “I just want to make you feel okay, hm? Let me take care of you, let me cherish you” he pressed his soft lips against my temple, slowly making his way down to my lips.

“I got you something,” he said against my parted lips, hands still on each side of my face. I just looked up at him with frowned eyebrows.

He got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen counter. In an instant, he was right back in front of me with his arms tucked behind his back, hiding whatever my surprise was. With a loving gaze, he brought his hands right in front of me, revealing a bouquet of white and lavender babybreaths with a few lilies, my favorite flowers, along with a basket that consisted of my favorite snacks and books that I wanted to read. My jaw hung open.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart” Matt breathed with a toothy grin. I just stared at him with a lost expression.

At this point, we had been together for only 3 months and I was pretty sure I hadn't mentioned any of the things he was gifting me. I couldn't recall a moment where I had vocalized my love for those flowers or my desire to read those books. How did he know?

“Matt” my voice broke. I tilted my head at him and sat up as I felt a familiar lump in my throat. With a quivering lip, I broke down, my shaking hands covering my tears.

“Oh baby, c’mere,” he put the things down and quickly pulled me into his chest. His grip on my back was firm yet not hard enough to hurt me, but to reassure me that he was there. He rocked us back and forth as I sobbed into him, placing sweet kisses on the top of my head and whispering comforting words that only made me want to cry even harder.

He was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. My blessing and curse. Those ocean blue eyes of his that pierced through my soul and filled me with strength were the same ones that made me cry the most because I loved him. And love doesn't come without pain, or at least that's what I knew.

“Talk to me, y/n” he mumbled against my hair, his body still moving back and forth with me still clinging on the fabric of his shirt for dear life.

“I just-,” I sniffed and pulled out of his cozy embrace and wiped my eyes, “I hate this” I embarrassingly admitted.

“I'm sorry, I thought you'd like it I'll get you-“

“No! No, I didn't mean your gift!” I shook my head. I truly didn't. It was in fact the most thoughtful gift I've ever received. And also the first time I ever got flowers, something I always wanted to be given.

“I mean my birthday. I despise it” I chuckled at how pathetic I sounded. Matt's expression did relax at my confession but confusion was obvious in his face.

“Why?” He breathed. I looked up at him to meet his gaze that was already on me, soft and loving.

“It doesn't matter,” I tried to wash away his concern but it didn't work.

“It matters to me,” he shrugged, “I want to help you, baby. But in order to do that, I need to understand you first and I cannot do that if you don't talk to me” he simply said.

“And I don't want to hurt you,” he continued, “but I will unwillingly do that if you don't tell me what hurts you. It's like stepping on a minefield; how would I know where to safely step if I don't know where the mines are?”

“I don't want you to get scared and walk away” I choked on a sob. Matt tilted his head at me with a sad smile on his lips.

“You will not, I promise. You're too well tangled in my soul for me to just walk away” he chuckled. I felt my cheeks turn red at his words and bit my lips to fight back a smile that was threatening to form in my face. He grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers, his thumb drawing lazy circles on my flesh, an act of reassurance and encouragement.

I did trust Matt. Hell, I trusted him more than I trusted my own self. I knew I had to talk to him about it. I loved him. He had to know.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I spoke with a trembling voice that was almost as quiet as a whisper.

“Ever since I was 12 I've hated that day. Before I hit 18, I didn't want to celebrate my existence because I simply didn’t want to exist,” I trailed off with my gaze locked in our touching hands, “I was so sure that I wasn't going to make it till then, but here I am, I guess” I forced a laugh but it soon faded.

“It just doesn't feel real, you know? And I don't mean that in a good way. I feel like a coward,” I breathed while a few more teardrops fell, “it was honestly kind of like a goal of mine, not turning 18, which I obviously failed to accomplish,” I shook my head in disappointment, “my birthday just reminds me of those feelings and it just triggers me, I suppose. And now that I turned 19 and I'm still here... it's just a lot of feelings I can't quite describe. And apart from that, why would I celebrate a life I never wanted?” I tried to joke but I didn't earn a laugh from Matt. Scared of his reaction, I slowly lifted my head to look at him with guilt.

His eyes were watering, his forehead creased and an obvious frown on his lips he didn't even try to hide from me. He just stood there in silence for a minute or two, eyeing every feature that my face had to offer, before enveloping his shaking hands around me once more. This time, however, his grip was harsh and his whole body was trembling. He held me so tightly that I could barely breath, his grasp against my skin so tense I was sure it would leave marks. This time, it wasn't me he was trying to comfort, but himself. Knowing that his pure and genuine heart couldn't take that much hurt, I placed my own arms around him securely.

“It's okay, baby” I repeated over and over again as my fingers played with his dark hair. His face nuzzled in the crook of my neck where I felt wetness in. I hated seeing him like this, but I understood that it was a lot to take in. His reaction was more than understandable.

“I'm so sorry, y/n” he pulled away with wet cheeks.

“It's not your fault, you don't have to apologize.”

“Yeah but,” he choked, “it isn't fair! You were a child, you shouldn't be feeling this way!” he reasoned.

“I know, but I managed, didn't I? I'm still here,” I wiped away his tears with my thumbs. He just looked at me and nodded. His gaze mirrored his troubled thoughts. I could tell it hurt him; hearing the person you love the most admitting such things isn't an easy thing.

“I just…,” he trailed off, “I just want you to know that I'm glad you're still here. You may not believe what I'm about to say, but you do make a difference in this world. You make a difference in my world. The fact that there's probably a version of myself out there that doesn't have you in his life makes me feel sorry for him, because you truly are a gift, baby” Matt spoke.

“I promise you, I'll make it feel better. I'll find a way to make the pain go away, I swear,” he cupped my face and brought it so close to his I felt his hot breath on my skin. Not giving me a chance to speak, he pulled me against him. I let out a sigh before allowing myself to relax under his touch and comfort.

“You're so strong” he murmured against my hair. I laughed.

“I'm not strong, Matt, I am weak. If I were strong, I wouldn't be here today” I blandly told him and I felt him shake his head violently, obviously disagreeing with my statement.

“D-Don't. Don't say that. Please, don't say that. You are strong. Despite everything, you're here. You may not have chosen to stay, but you did. You're strong for not caving in and letting your mind control you, you're strong for handling all of these big and dark emotions ever since you were a child, you're strong for telling me. You may not see it, but there is so much strength in you, y/n, that inspires others. I know you don't get what I'm saying, but I also know how draining it is to feel like this. If anything, you're strong,” he argued and pulled away from the embrace to look me in my eyes. Maybe he was right. Maybe I didn't give myself enough credit for it.

“I'll get you help. I'll find a therapist for you, the best one there is. I’ll pay for your sessions and everything you need. And I'll find ways to help you myself, I'll do my research, read books…I'll do anything for you, angel. I just want to make sure that you're safe. And if there's anything that I do that makes you feel unloved by me or hurts you in any way, please tell me. The last thing I want you to do is question my love for you” he said with puppy dog eyes.

Matt was a sincere and emotional man, two traits that made me fall in love with him instantly. His sympathy was something I've never came across with before meeting him. He was truly an angel sent from heaven.

“Thank you” I smiled sadly at him.

“I am here for you, baby. I will always be. No matter what happens, you'll always have me, I promise. I love you,” he breathed and kissed me with so much passion that made my head spin.

End of flashback

That was the day we muttered that phrase to one another. To some it may seem too soon, but I don't care. I needed to hear it and I needed to hear it from him. And I also felt the need to say it back because I did love him. Probably the most I've ever loved anything and anyone in this world. That was also the day I showed him my scars. Before that, I refused to get naked in front him even to just change my clothes, because I was scared of how he was going to react. Even though I wanted to have sex with him and show him how much I craved him and his body, my fear always consumed me. He didn't put any pressure on me though, he was very respectful of my boundaries and he made sure that I knew he wasn't upset or angry at me for not wanting to do anything sexual with him.

“You could tell me to never touch you again and I'd still feel the same way about you,” Matt used to tell me, and still does, whenever I apologize for not being in the mood to sleep with him. How could I not fall for this boy?

So here we are, a year later in our shared bedroom in his and his brothers' apartment taking in each other’s presence. Our legs intertwined, my face buried deep into his chest and his arms wrapped around my waist. Matt was a peaceful sleeper and in my opinion, he looked the most beautiful when he was asleep. He looked so comfortable and relaxed, his cheek squeezing against the soft pillow that supported his head and mouth slightly agape. Even in his sleep, though, he made sure to keep me close to him. He was always hugging me or touching my hand which I dearly appreciated. Whenever I woke up before him, I just stayed there and admired him until his eyes opened, and that's what I'm doing right now.

Lifting my head up, I look at his dreamy face. I smile fondly at the sight in front of me and I can't help myself but place soft, loving kisses on his features, neck and collarbones. I hear him shift under me, his body slowly stretching, which indicated his awakening. I look back up at him again and see him sheepishly smile down at me, a smile that never fails to make my heart jump and flutter.

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up” I apologise softly.

“Mhm” he hums and brings me back against his body. I giggle at his clinginess but allowed myself to turn into a paddle under his touch and loving embrace. He rubs my back and caresses my hair before he places tender kisses on my forehead and lips.

“Happy birthday, my love” he wishes me in between pecks, making me smile against his pinkish, plump lips. I kiss him back passionately.

“How are you feeling?” Matt whispers as he pulls away, resting his face just a few inches away from mine. I smile at him. A genuine, gentle smile.

“I'm good” I whisper back.

“Yeah?” his lips take an upturn curve.

“Yeah,” I breathed before kissing him again. I hover on top of him with my body still laying beside him though, and his hands reach to take a hold of the sides of my face. We both smile into the kiss which ends up being interrupted by the door bursting open, making me jump.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Nick and Chris exclaim at the same time. They're even wearing birthday hats. These kids. I look down at Matt whose face was filled with pure shock. I laugh.

“Thank you, boys” I shoot them a toothy smile.

“Oh wait, I forgot the cake!” Chris says before running back to the kitchen. I look at Nick who stared at his younger brother in disbelief.

“I'm so sorry, I told them not to do-“

“Baby, it's okay,” I whispered, “I'm okay.”

“I'm so proud of you,” Matt says softly before sitting up and placing a kiss on flustered my cheek.

“Here! Make a wish!” Chris says as he came back with the cake which, in reality, was just a few pancakes with a lit up candle on top.

All those years, I thought that birthday wishes weren't a thing until I got blessed with those 3 boys. I don’t know what or who brought them to me, if it was God’s or any other celestial’s work, but I thanked them every night for allowing me to have such people around me. I was so grateful for them and for once in a while, I was grateful to be alive.

I was grateful for not giving up when I felt like it was the only way out. I was grateful for not losing the battle because if I had, I wouldn't have met them and I wouldn't know what love and happiness felt like. I couldn't be able to give little me the love she deserved. She wouldn't have met Matt, she wouldn't have felt the butterflies every time he landed his eyes on her which indeed did tickle her stomach, she wouldn't have known how unconditional love felt like. The thought of that made me uneasy. I couldn't take that away from her and I was more than happy I didn't.

I look around me and cherish this moment. Yes, there is still a lot of healing I need to do still, but I'm getting there. With the help of my friends, I will get there. Their smiling faces give me strength everyday to keep going. And so before blowing out the candle, I make a wish. I wish for all the people who feel just like I once did to get better. I wish for their pain to vanish and be replaced with happiness and peace. I wish for them to realize that their existence matters more than they think. And most importantly, I wish for them to not lose the battle because yes, life may be tough, but they're tougher. Because they are needed and beautiful and unique. Because they deserve a happy ending. Because they do make this world a better place just by being in it.

[hannigramislife]

for my own gratification bc i just ran into nie mingjue hate in the wild, would you mind making a post that defends my poor good boy? he worked so hard and got gaslit to shit before getting murdered terribly ;; literally everyone sat there telling him "youre being too harsh" and he's just responding appropriately. like yeah, if you witness a murder, ya kinda got to do something about that as a clan leader. its kinda your responsibility, even when you care about the person who did the murdering. he was also a really young when he took on the role of clan leader and idk, it just made me rlly sad to see people dunk on him cuz wtf he's literally just trying his best in an impossible situation WHILE being perpetually fucked over by his clan's own traditional cultivation cuz now the stronger he is as a leader, the closer he is to going literally insane and dying bc of it. (mingjue did nothing wrong i will die on this hill) ((sorry for going on a tirade, im just sad and defensive of my good boy rn))

Oh no! I'm so sorry you had to go through Nie Mingjue hate! Truly tragic. I went through that once when in the beginning of me reading the books, when I still had no proper opinions, and never again.

I'm more than willing to make a post about Nie Mingjue! I'm always down to talk about Nie Mingjue tbh, he's my heart and love and if I were to have been given the opportunity to be his right hand person, I would have simply never betrayed his trust and married him. Rip Jin Guangyao but I'm different.

Anyways, I, huhhh, actually think you?? Covered it all??? Pretty much?? Yet I will talk about it. This will be long and non-coherent, because I don't have the books rn to find quotes in them and honestly, I could write essays on Nie Mingjue either way.

Nie Mingjue is a central piece of the narrative, despite the limited amount of appearances he made, and the fact that he wasn't close to the main characters at all. The entire second part of the plot revolves around him- it happened because of him. His murder is a tragedy; literally, by greek standards, man has Cassandra Curse all over him, so I don't get how people can tell me, confidently, that his death was warranted. I've been told the man had asked for it, and this has mostly been by Jin Guangyao apologists.

So let me make something real fucking clear.

Nie Mingjue did not deserve to die. Let's get that out of the way, anyone can fight me on that. Nie Mingjue had more good qualities than half the people in this fucking story, despite his flaws. After his father was brutally murdered when Mingjue was only in his teens, Nie Mingjue stepped up as clan leader. We can only speculate the hardships that await someone leading a clan at such an early age. Yet, political challenges weren't the only thing he had to battle; Nie Mingjue knew about his clan's harmful cultivation, and he knew he was going to die young. So what did he do? His best. Literally his best, always. He was always giving 100% of his abilities, because that's who he was.

Let's talk about who Nie Mingjue was, shall we?

When Jin Guangyao, still Meng Yao then, describes Nie Mingjue, he finds himself perplexed, because Nie Mingjue isn't like other men. He is not frivolous, and he has no vices; Meng Yao describes how Nie Mingjue never showed an interest in arts, or alcohol, or women. All he did was train, and fight the Wens during the war. It shows that he had a one-track mind from the start, and has got a strict discipline; yet this strictly disciplined man, leader of a clan that prizes strength, continuously indulges his lazy and undisciplined half-brother, his one and only heir, despite not understanding his interests. We gather, pretty quickly, that Nie Mingjue is a bleeding heart for his brother, and for the ones he loves in general. We see the same softer side displayed in the presence of Lan Xichen, and of course, for some time, Meng Yao.

People seem to think Nie Mingjue took Meng Yao's betrayal too harshly. As if somehow seeing a man he thought to have been just and honest commit premeditated murder, then cover it up, was something he was just supposed to get over. To this day, I can't believe how Lan Xichen was so understanding of it. But not only did Nie Mingjue catch him in a cowardly act - Meng Yao proceeds to manipulate him, using the fact that Nie Mingjue cared about him, to stab him in the back. Or front, however it happened. I get that Meng Yao was in a difficult position, that he suffered at the Jins, that he felt backed in a corner; but Nie Mingjue was a man that had extended his help to Meng Yao before, and even then, he went to find Meng Yao in righteous fury, ready to help him again. To Nie Mingjue, the idea that Meng Yao "had no other choice" but to kill - to kill in the manner he did - it could have been nothing but a betrayal.

One thing that I personally highly respected Nie Mingjue for was the fact that he did not judge Meng Yao for his background. This is not up for debate; Nie Mingjue stood up for him, quite publicly, quite vocally, when Meng Yao was being insulted over it. And not only that, but he promoted Meng Yao to be his right hand man, just like that. Because he's impulsive, and to prove a point, but it was still huge of him to do. Not even Lan Xichen would have done that - In a society built on power dynamics between social classes, Nie Mingjue was one of the few characters who did not let that define his actions. It wasn't because he was born privileged (though he was) but because he he didn't let anything other than his judgment direct his actions. Nie Mingjue also never shied away from anything; if it had to be done, he did it, no matter the cost.

Nie Mingjue was decisive, and had an iron will. When Meng Yao killed the Nie disciples in Qishan, he wanted to kill Meng Yao. Meng Yao told him, paraphrasing, that "don't you understand that if I hadn't done that, it would have been your corpse up there?" and Wei Wuxian takes it to mean "Translation: I saved you so you can't kill me, because that would mean you're in the wrong." So Nie Mingjue hesitated for a second, then said: "Fine! I'll kill you, and then take my own life!" And the only reason he didn't, was because Lan Xichen was there. Otherwise, Nie Mingjue would have killed his former friend, then followed him to whatever afterlife awaited.

Nie Mingjue is often portrayed like he doesn't understand stuff, like he's stupid, simply because of his black and white sense of morality. That's not correct: Nie Mingjue understands motive, but he doesn't accept the ends justifying the means. Scratch that, he doesn't accept or justify either, if they're unjust. The murder of the Jin commander, the murder of the Nie disciples, not executing Xue Yang - how can Nie Mingjue possibly understand Meng Yao's decisions, when Nie Mingjue would rather die, any day, than live thanks to vile actions?

And then, Nie Mingjue starts falling into qi-deviation. We know that it affected his temper the most, and his judgement. I don't understand how it works, really, so I don't know by the end how much was Nie Mingjue and how much was the mess that the spirit made of him - maybe a combination of the two. But what is certain, is that the rapid qi deviation changed him.

But I could write a hundred more pages on him, meticulously going over every single scene he has ever appeared in, because I find him that interesting. I find him the most interesting, and the most appealing character, because in a story where the navigation of the cultivation world's complex politics and hierarchies with tact and diplomacy is crucial, Nie Mingjue stands uncompromising in his principles, choosing duty and honor over anything else, even when it's hard.

[ghouljams]

Hihi! This is my first time requesting so I’m a lil nervous lol but I LOVE ur writing, especially your cowboy aus!!

I was scrolling on insta and saw this : https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3YYJmyPETo/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Immediately thought of cowboy!Graves during a rodeo winking and giving reader, who’s sitting in the front row with her friends, his signature devilish smile when he lands on the fence. Maybe even taking his hat off and reader thinks he’s just saying hi (tipping his hat yk?) but he ends up putting it on her head?? Save a horse ride a.. yk 😏 kinda thing

Maybe he comes and finds her after the show or vice versa and it gets a lil spicy?? Or maybe some fluff + banter would be better? idk 🤷‍♀️

NEwaysss just some late night thoughts that are squirming their way into my brain. Totally feel free to ignore this and have an amazing day/night!! 🫶🫶

Ok, I hope you don't mind me tweaking this a little, I've got Graves set up as a bull rider, with his sweetheart riding brocs, and this just popped into my head as soon as I saw that man hit the bars.

The bronc bucks you right off and onto the metal fence. Your shin hits the bar and you nearly roll over the top into the crowd. You manage to catch yourself before that happens but not before nearly face planting into someone's lap. You look up and flash them your best smile, and feel the wind rush out of your sails staring up at Graves. Eyes previously fixed down your shirt, dart to meet your own. His lips curl over his teeth in a way that make you think he'd rather bite you than anything else, more baring his teeth more than smiling. Heat rushes to your face, embarrassment flooding you.

"Howdy," He coos, and you scramble to get off the fence and back into the ring. He laughs when you jump back down to the dirt, and the sound follows you on your way to settle the horse. You reach up to fix your hat and hit empty air, you look around the ring for it and spot your least favorite bull rider plucking it out of the stands to settle on his head. He waves his hat for you and you feel your blood boil.

Forget the horse you hustle backstage, you cannot think about the horse and your hat, and the way he'd smiled at you without a stiff drink.

"That was a first place dismount," One of your friends laughs, as you look around for you stuff. You need every reason not to stick around. You're smart, you're capable, you know exactly what's going to happen in the next few moments if you aren't ready to book it.

"Fourth place ride," You grumble, snagging your water bottle from their hand. You get most of the way out of the door before you're caught.

A firm arm catches your waist and spins you to meet a wolf's smile. You do your best to look unamused when he tells you, "That was a lucky dive you took."

You work your tongue over your teeth for something to do instead of talking, trying to come up with the kindest way to say 'give me my hat back and let me go' the best you get is: "Thought PBRs didn't show up 'til tomorrow." If you'd thought the subject change would help it doesn't.

"You keepin' track of me? Here I thought you didn't like me." Unflappable, you don't think you've seen this man break once since you met him. You wonder what's wrong with him. Usually folks are able to take no for an answer.

"Never said that," You try to shake off his grip and he pulls you closer. Your arm bumps against his chest and you stiffen at the firm muscle. "A little space?" You gripe, feeling him lean into you.

"I'm alright," He purrs, tipping his head and running his thumb along the top edge of your belt, "comfortable actually."

"You flirt with all the bronc riders?" You ask watching a few walk by and smile at him, he raises a hand in greeting and pushes his hips against yours. You can't help the shiver that snakes its way down your spine, the way your hand goes to grab his wrist when his fingers brush against your stomach.

"Just the real feisty ones."

"So all of them." You make a small noise pressing back into him to try and get away from the warmth of his hand.

"Don't be like that sweetheart," He presses, his chin settling against your shoulder, the depth of his voice makes you squirm, you hate flirts, you hate that they get to you like this, "you and me are end game, the sooner you figure that out the better it'll be." He hums, and you can almost feel him thinking before he tacks on, "for both of us."

He lets you go and you stumble a step out of his grasp, turning to glare at him. He settles his hat on your head and suddenly your glare feels more like a pout.

"Lemme buy you a drink, help ya walk off that dismount." He offers with a crooked smile.

"Top shelf," You glare.

"Of course," He cocks his head.

"As much as I want," You narrow your eyes further, just because it makes his eyes sparkle with heat.

"Anything you want sugar, any time you want it."

...

Maybe you can entertain one flirt once. Especially when he slips the bartender a black card and orders a round for the bar. You probably should notice that everyone in the bar is masked, and sporting the same rook/spade insignia, but you're a little more preoccupied with the drink Graves slides you. Your confidence only wavers when you remember you didn't tell him what you drink, and somehow- somehow he's gotten it exactly right.

[stormberry-12]

hey! idk if you do ed based story requests but if you do could you write something along the lines of the reader struggling with her ed/ana specifically and jj noticing so he decides to take her out for an acai bowl along the beach with blankets and they sit down and eat together? (lots of fluff pls!!) if you dont feel comfortable I totally understand just thought I’d ask :)

dinner date ♡ ~ jj maybank x reader

ofc i can! thank you so much for the request <3 :)

warnings/possible triggers: ed/ana, slight mental health stuff.

pairing: jj maybank x fem!reader

notes: lowercase intended, requests still open

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

jj had been noticing a sudden shift to your normally bubbly personality, and jj being jj, he decided to investigate. he hated to see you upset and tired all the time, to find out what was wrong he basically started following you everywhere. (well, more than he had already)

you didn't think too much of it, you loved jj with all your heart, and the more time you spent together the closer you got.

it was only when you were hanging out with the pogues one day that someone mentioned it.

"there's jj, following y/n around again," kie laughed.

"little lost puppy," john b quipped chugging a beer.

jj rolled his eyes at their remarks and sat down with you and the pogues around the fire pit.

"wanna s'more y/n?" pope offered kindly, but you declined, saying you had a big dinner and were totally stuffed.

jj furrowed his eyebrows, he had barely seen you eat anything all day. then it hit him like a truck, and it made him sick to his stomach, he could read you like a book. he knew what was going on and didn't know how he hadn't thought of it earlier.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

the following day you sat in the hammock reading the new book that jj had gotten you for your birthday last month.

"hiya cupcake!" he said sprinting over and sliding into the hammock next to you, rocking it back and forth subconsciously with his feet.

"hey jay," you snuggled into his side and turned the page of your book listening to his breathing and the calming waves splashing against the shore. he wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your hair.

after a few minutes, jj piped up, "i'm bored," you raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, he couldn't last 10 minutes just sitting in silence.

"what do you wanna do?" you asked.

"dinner date?" he pondered and you felt your blood run cold.

"uh- i- i don't know," you studdered.

"c'mon! it'll be fun!" he closed your book and dragged you by the hand over to the chateau. flipping his hat and climbing onto his motorbike he motioned for you to sit behind him. you shook lightly with fear and anticipation, "cold?" he asked and you shrugged your shoulders, sure that was a good excuse.

jj ran inside and when he returned he was carrying john b's fuzzy green couch blanket. he returned to his spot on the bike and placed the blanket in your arms, "hold on," he said and you wrapped your arms around his waist burying your face in his back.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

when you arrived in town jj imediatly parked his bike, swung the blanket over his shoulder, and dragged you to the food vendors on the beach.

"i'm cravin' a smoothie bowl," he whispered.

you laughed trying to calm yourself, "for dinner?"

"hell yeah, baby!"

you smiled at his enthusiasm, the beach was quiet and there were almost no people lined up for food due to how late it was in the day. jj ran up to the smoothie stand pulling you along with him, interlocking your fingers with his.

"two acai bowls, please!" he said to the lady working the stand.

you stood hip to hip hands still intertwined, you fidgeted with his rings and leaned your head against his shoulder.

"so when were you gonna tell me it was happening again?" he asked his tone suddenly more serious.

"i- what?" you answered looking up at him, feeling your stomach twist.

"i don't think i've seen you eat anything for the past three days..."

"jj-"

"TWO ACAI BOWLS," the clerk called out. jj released your hand and went to grab the food. when he came back he didn't say anything and just started walking toward the sand. you dragged your feet behind him.

the two of you sat on the beach, watching the waves crash on the shore, there was a beautiful sunset forming in the sky and you got butterflies as you looked at the sweet blonde boy next to you. he had wrapped the large green blanket over both your shoulders and snuggled up close to you, digging his toes into the sand.

he turned to you holding out your bowl and a spoon, "i don't know who got into that pretty head of yours that you needed to change your body, but they were wrong."

you looked at him and your heart fluttered and twinged at the same time.

"your the most beautiful girl i've ever met, you know that y/n?"

you blushed at his words and he placed the food in your hands, placing a kiss on your temple.

"we'll eat it together, ready?" he grinned at you and you gave him a small smile. you both brought your spoons to your lips and began to eat the most delicious acai bowls you had ever had.

as you reached the bottom of the bowls jj giggled, took some onto his spoon, and dolloped it onto your nose. you gasped in fake shock, "how dare you!"

he laughed harder as you catapulted a berry and hit him straight in the forehead. jj tackled you and the two of you rolled over a few times, getting tangled up in the blanket. jj ending up on top of you, hovering over your body.

he wiped the food off your face with his sleeve and gazed into your eyes, "you ever have trouble eating again you tell me, got it?"

you nodded and he kissed you deeply, on the perfect summer night basking in the sunset.

~<>~<>~<>~<>~

[blacklegsanjiii]

idk man i don't ship mihawk with anyone really but this golden/hancock sanji au got me. Also yeah there's an age gape, Boa and Mihawk are like 14 and halfish years apart. It's not as weird as her and Luffy though I PROMISE. It is long, it's a basically a halfassed start of a fic idk man.

Mihawk's snail goes off and he's been neglecting his warlord duties since Sanji came along so he answers as he holds the sleeping child. Boa is apparently stranded very close by so he wakes Sanji and says he has to go get someone and for Sanji to stay inside. He goes and gets Boa who frowns as her boat sinks and she whines like any eighteen year old princess would.

They get to Kuriagana and he takes her to the denden so she can call someone to come get her properly and take her back to Amazon Lily. She comes out of Mihawk's office and sees him talking quietly to Sanji, he's knelt down to talk to small boy sans his trademark hat and coat and Boa has never experienced attraction before but she thinks 'huh, that's cute, he's handsome, i see why people think that' and goes to introduce herself.

Boa opens her mouth and stops when she sees that curled eyebrow and instead of introducing herself she looks between Sanji and Mihawk and is wavering heavily. Sanji instantly sees she recognizes him and freezes.

"Is there something wrong?" Mihawk asks her as he looks between the two of them.

"Hawkeye," Boa breathes, "did you kidnap the dead prince of Germa?"

"The what?" Mihawk asks with shock, which is the first emotion outside of boredom she's seen the man emote. "I got Sanji from a rock." Mihawk says as Sanji is about to have a full blown panic attack.

"He was claimed to be dead like three years ago! How did you not know?" Boa demands as she pulls Sanji to her and his breathing starts getting rough.

"I've only had him some months, Princess, let him go. He's going into a panic attack." Mihawk demands and Boa glares but releases him and Mihawk picks Sanji up and stands. His glare is harsh as he leaves her standing there to go calm Sanji down. Boa finds them after a while and Sanji is asleep on Mihawk who is reading.

"I apologize for my insensitivity to you, Hawkeye," Boa starts, "how did you get him though, really?"

"I wasn't lying, Redleg can corroborate." Mihawk answers.

"Sure. Let's say you're not lying. Why does he look like that?" Boa asks.

"You said he died three years ago, yes? Then he hasn't been fed properly for those years, maybe even before that. It's something I've been working on." Mihawk hums as he puts his book down to look at her properly.

"He didn't tell you?" Boa huffs in disbelief.

"No," Mihawk sighs, "he didn't." That, that makes Boa's heart ache for some reason.

Boa has to stay a couple days until someone can come get her so she gets to watch Mihawk and Sanji together. She watches Mihawk have emotions and smile, he smiles at Sanji and Boa gets why people say he's attractive but they haven't seen that. That is dangerous and Boa leaves every time she sees it and comes back when she's calmed down. Mihawk absolutely notices and absolutely exploits this, he's a pirate, it's expected. He makes Boa promise Sanji not to tell anyone about him. Sanji's relief is palpable which makes Boa coo at him and Sanji stare at the affection she's showing him because it's a new kind. Mihawk pats his head and assures him it's alright.

When Boa is leaving she and Mihawk are talking and Mihawk off handedly is like 'maybe when you're twenty.' with a smirk and Boa is flustered and trying not to show it because she's from Amazon Lily and is supposed to not really be swayed by men, but here she is. Red faced and stuttering and asks how he can do that to her and he shrugs and says he honestly expects to have to fend off her forces now.

"When I'm twenty?" She double checks.

"Maybe." Mihawk shrugs with that same fucking smirk and Boa is so frustrated when she leaves Mihawk is pretty sure he's going to have to go to war with a whole damned country. He laughs when Sanji asks why she was mad at him and Mihawk admits to teasing her a lot, an unnecessarily high amount of teasing. Sanji asks if he was flirting and Mihawk admits he did a bit of that as well with a chuckle as he holds his son close. Sanji looks at him with disgust which makes him lose it completely and laugh into his son's hair.

Boa makes a habit to talk to Mihawk and try to get him to emote at warlord meetings which everyone thinks is weird except him. He keeps looking at her expectantly and cocks a brow. He doesn't attend most of them, the government lets it slide based on his status as the world's greatest swordsman and how much work he does actually do for them, so when he does she makes the most of it.

Afterwards, when they're in private she asks about Sanji and how he's doing and Mihawk answers and invites her back to Kuraigana at her leisure. She eventually takes him up on it to his surprise, so she follows him to Kuraigana. It's a rare sunny day when they arrive and Mihawk helps her onto land and then ties their boats and leads her to the castle. Sanji is looking at them through a window and Boa waves excitedly to him. It may have been almost a year but she still coos at him as Sanji looks at her warily. He's scooped easily into Mihawk's arms who tells him Boa will be staying a few days again.

Sanji mumbles his acknowledgement as they head to the kitchen to start cooking. Boa watches the duo who are remarkably close, a true father and son relationship. She watches Mihawk guide Sanji through a recipe and it sounds amazing, smells amazing, she is drooling as they plate up what they've made and serve it. It tastes really good too, amazing, better than what they make on Amazon Lily and says such. They thank her and Boa tries to make more conversation with Sanji.

Who is not talkative but does seem to warm up to her more especially since she doesn't ask about Germa or anything of the like. Later after Sanji is put to bed Boa leans over the arm of the chaise and looks at Mihawk as he enters the library with a look of intrigue.

"Yes, Princess?" He asks as he sits in a chair near by.

"Has he told you anything else?" Boa asks as he grabs a book.

"Not much, but he has." Mihawk answers slowly, looking at her properly. "Seeing as he was on a cruise liner working for a year I think it's safe to say I will kill the king of Germa."

"He's so sweet, it's weird to think he's one of them." Boa huffs.

"I would argue he's not. He doesn't claim them and they proclaim he's dead. I think it is safe to assume the Vinsmokes would rather he actually be dead." Mihawk responds and Boa hums.

"He's lucky to have you." She says after a moment.

"I'm just as lucky." Mihawk says quietly. Boa looks him over and hums again but Mihawk opens his book and reads. Boa huffs indignantly at him as he chuckles to himself.

[nobodysdaydreams]

@mahpotatoequeen thank you for tagging me!

How many works do you have on AO3? only 11, but I make up for it in word count.

What’s your total AO3 word count? 468,908 words (sorry)

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they? Only three fandoms. TMBS (show and books, idk if these count as separate) and wolf 359.

Top five fics by kudos:

So...I'm in some pretty small fandoms and only started writing last year so I don't have a lot of high kudos fics. But this is what I got so far:

S.O.S

The Oldest Siblings

Who You Were Meant To Be / Treat Them With(out) Mercy (tied)

It Should Have Been Us

A Joy To Obey

Honorable mention: The highest Wolf 359 fic I have since I only started writing for that fandom like a week ago (it's a nice fic about Renee and Dominik for anyone interested): For Better or For Worse

Do you respond to comments?

Of course! I love hearing from you guys and discuss my work, fandom theories and ideas.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

My tmbs followers know the answer to that question. Sorry S.O.S. fans (but also: not sorry at all).

Edit: Also, how did I forget, but my tmbs fic The Boys Who Waited, has a super angsty ending. It's one of my lesser known fics, but I do really like how it comes full circle in the end and you don't realize the implications of what's happening until the fic is over.

As for my Wolf 359 fics, I'd say the one with the angstiest ending is my most recent fic about Jacobi dealing with the loss of Kepler. The fic received positive critical review from the esteemed @sophieswundergarten, but the last chapter does end on a slightly ominous note/cliff hanger. Here it is if you want to check it out: The Legacy of the Artist Formerly Known As Warren Kepler (or An Ode to Whiskey Boy)

Do you write crossovers?

Not really. Some of my fics blend the show and book elements of tmbs, or reference the other, but not to the point of what I'd call a "cross over"

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Not on my fics. I think a few times on my blog, but I don't have time to think about or deal with that. I'm also neurodivergent, so sometimes I have trouble knowing whether people are actually insulting me or doing or saying something "as part of a joke". I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Do you write smut?

Nope, it's not for me.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not, and I don't think so. I write for really small fandoms. It would be pretty obvious if someone did.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but @sophieswundergarten recently made a podfic of the first chapter of my fic Who You Were Meant To Be and that made my whole day! 🥰 The link to the podfic is in the chapter notes if you want to listen.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't do a lot of shipping. I wrote a few things about Renee Minkowski/Dominik Koudelka, but they're married in canon so a lot of that wrote itself. (Works are here if you're interested: For Better or For Worse / The Return of the Blessed)

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of my SOS sequels. I'm going to try though. We'll see what happens.

What are your writing strengths?

Long fic. I can take an idea and run with it. I'm also good a picking up where I series left things off or when a show gets cancelled and leaves a cliff hanger.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Short fic. I wrote around 7k-8k words for a Wolf 359 fic and someone commented how happy they were that they "finally got a long fic about this". And I was flattered, but like. 7-8k words???? LONG????

...who's gonna tell them?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I've only done this a few times. I try my best and do as much research as I can. I want it to be accurate though, so if you're a native speaker, and I got something wrong, feel free to (politely) lmk so I can fix it.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

For the tmbs fandom S.O.S. since it's what I'm known for, but also Who You Were Meant To Be because I love a good redemption story and I've gonna a lot of really nice feedback on it.

For the Wolf359 fandom, weirdly enough, The Return of the Blessed, which is based on my own unhinged crack theory, but I love writing it.

Tagging: @itsgoghtime @oflightningandstars @myfairkatiecat @mysteriouseggsbenedict @heyitsthatonesmolgay and anyone else who wants to participate!

[mysterious-ocarina]

Not A One

Kunikida Doppo x fem!reader

A/N guys help!! I've lost like all motivation to write anything and idk how to fix it. I just don't wanna do anything ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ this didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to but I felt I had to upload it (╥_╥)

please give me recommendations for books to use as abilities or just abilities in general for bsd content

Main Masterlist BSD Masterlist Requests AO3

(2.6k words)

“Aw, come on. Aren’t you just the least bit curious?” a persistent Dazai asked.

“Trust me, it’s better for everyone if I don’t know,” you sighed.

Dazai, the little thief he is, was holding Kunikida’s notebook in his hand. He was pestering you into reading it, more specifically Kunikida’s ideal woman. He knew all about your feelings for the blond man and has been encouraging you to make some kind of move so you guys could become “the office parents”. His words.

“Why don’t you just read it by yourself, if you’re so curious?” you finally asked, crossing your arms. You couldn’t get back to your work because Dazai had planted his big, fat butt right on your desk.

He pouted in front of you, “It won’t be as fun to read alone.”

“You’re telling me that you, the most impatient man I’ve ever met, haven’t looked inside at all. Just because it will be more fun with someone else,” you replied, rolling your eyes at the childish coworker in front of you.

“Yup! And who would be the better person to read it with, than you my dear y/n. The woman who is in love with our dear Kunikida,” Dazai proudly announced.

You placed your hands on his mouth, a blush covering your face, “Shh, don’t say that too loud. Someone could hear you, idiot.”

Dazai licked your hand, forcing you to remove it from his mouth with a disgusted pout. He smiled at you, “Come on. I know you don’t see it, but that man is crazy for you. He’s always so protective of you and makes sure you get home safe and always wants to partner up with you on missions.”

“You know, he only partners with me so that he doesn’t have to work with you,” you informed him, an amused expression taking over your face.

Dazai mocked offense, placing his hand on his heart, “I am a wonderful person to work with.”

“Mhm, whatever helps you sleep at night,” you joked.

Dazai laughed before shoving the book in your hands, “Don’t change the subject. You have to read it with me.”

Book in hand, you rolled your eyes, “Fine, but don’t be surprised when it says nothing about me.”

You were curious to know which of his ideals you fit. It wasn’t very likely that you would fit every single one but the more you did, the better. The more of his ideals that you fit, the better chance you had to be with him.

You opened the book, flipping to the section about his ideal women with Dazai breathing over your shoulder.

You knew how much effort he put in his ideals but you didn’t expect this. The list of factors to make Kunikida’s ideal woman was. . . extensive and informational. The list seemed to go on infinitely, characteristic after characteristic.

There were a couple of general traits that you had. Stuff like hard-working and kind. But some of the more specific characteristics that were written in his notebook, did not describe you whatsoever. You felt sick to your stomach, now. You had been in love with Kunikida for so long that the girls often teased you into making a move and now, you find out that Kunikida wants a woman who is nothing like you.

Tears started falling from your face the more you stared at Kunikida’s notebook and Dazai felt like absolute shit. He doesn’t understand what he got wrong, it was so obvious to him how Kunikida feels about you.

Wanting to comfort you, Dazai placed a hand on your shoulder. He softly took the book from your hands, you simply let him. Dazai stood in front of you, “I’m so sorry, y/n. I didn’t know. . .”

You looked up at him, giving him a teary-eyed smile. Not wanting him to feel bad, you responded, “It’s okay Dazai. It’s not your fault. At least I now know that I never had a chance.”

Dazai looked down at you, “I promise I wouldn’t have made you read it, if I had known. I swear that I thought he felt for you.”

You stood up, wiping your hands on your work skirt. You gave Dazai a forced smile, “Really, it’s okay, Dazai. Please don’t feel bad.”

You gave him a quick hug, making sure to get your point across before making your way to the cafe downstairs. You needed to clear your head for a bit.

You were towards the back of the cafe, enjoying a coffee and people watching. You had calmed down quite a bit but you were still a bit heartbroken at the news. You’re just lucky you hadn’t run into him yet.

Dr. Yosano and Naomi Tanizaki walked up to you with a stressed looking Junichiro being dragged along. You gave them all a smile, “Wanna join me?”

Naomi dragged her brother into the opposite side of the booth as you and Yosano sat next to you. She turned to you, “We were thinking of throwing a little party this weekend at the agency. Will you come?”

You gave her a dubious expression, “I don’t know. You know I’m not much of a party person.”

Naomi piped up, “It’s just a small get together. A break from all the work we do.”

Yosano hummed, seeing you hesitate, “There will be food and booze.”

Upon hearing that, you immediately agreed. You deserved to let loose and unwind.

All week, you’ ve been a mess. Kunikida ended up getting in a fight with Dazai about stealing his notebook, yet again, and thankfully your name was kept out of it. You’ve tried your best to avoid Kunikida as best you could without it being obvious. He’s been nothing but kind to you, as he always is, but you couldn’t help but remember that he definitely doesn’t love you the way that you love him.

He must have sensed that something was up with you. After a week of you avoiding him, he was quick to approach you, “Hey, y/n.”

You looked up from your book, shocked. You came down to the cafe for your lunch break and decided to spend it reading. It was as subtle as you could be to stay away from the handsome man in front of you. Remembering that he had greeted you, you finally responded, “Hello.”

Kunikida sat down across from you. Usually, the fact that he would want to sit with you rather than work would send you into a blushing frenzy. But now, it sent unease swirling in your gut as you were reminded of his ideals, seeing the notebook peeking out of his jacket pocket.

“I feel like we haven’t talked in a bit. I wanted to check on you,” he stated, matter of factly. As he pushed his glasses further up his nose, you took note of the slight tremor in his hand, a sign of his true worry for you.

“I’m good, just a little busy working,” you explained. It wasn’t exactly a lie, as you had been working a lot to keep your mind off of the man in front of you.

He gave you a look, as if he didn’t believe you, but decided against pushing it. “I have a missing persons case and I was wondering if you would accompany me.”

Dubiously, you questioned, “What about Ranpo? And isn’t Dazai your partner?”

Kunikida squinted at you, “Ranpo is being Ranpo, so no help from him. I’m also in no mood to deal with the likes of Dazai.”

You watched Kunikida's jaw clench at the mention of Dazai. Ever since Dazai had stolen his notebook, for probably the umpteenth time, Kunikida has been more pissed off than usual with the bandaged freak. You had a feeling that he knew Dazai shared the contents of his ideals with you but since he never spoke of it, you didn’t bring it up either.

Despite your better judgment, you agreed to tag along. You still felt for him and it was impossible for you to deny your heart’s wish of spending all the time you can with him.

The case was a bit cut and dry. You and Kunikida fell into your usual partner routine and it felt normal between you guys for the first time in a week. You guys had always worked well together so it wasn’t exactly a surprise when the both of you had solved the case by the end of the night.

Walking back to the agency, you broke the comfortable silence. With a tinge of hope in your voice, you asked him, “Are you coming to the little party that the girls are having tomorrow?”

“I was hoping to get home before the festivities start,” he replied, giving you a look. “I’m surprised that you want to go. Those aren’t usually your thing.”

You blushed at the fact that he knew you that well. “Well, I’m not one to pass on food and booze. I really hope you make an appearance.”

Now why the hell did you say that? The main reason that you were going was so your heart could be protected from him. It looks like your heart and brain don’t seem to be connected at the moment.

Kunikida sighed, but smiled nonetheless, “I might be able to fit it into my schedule, for you.”

Your smile increased tenfold when hearing that. Why did you want to forget about him in the first place?

The next night, you really let loose. Kunikida ended up coming but refused to drink. You had been happily singing and dancing with Naomi and Atsushi, thoroughly enjoying the night. By the end of it, you may have been just a little more drunk than was good for you. 

You had tumbled into the nearest person, who happened to be Dazai. He spoke to you, “I think you should head home now, y/n.”

You pushed him away from you and announced, “I’m completely fine-” then tripped over your own feet. Kunikida, who has been keeping a keen eye on you all night, was quick to catch your falling body.

“Dazai’s right. Let me take you home,” he informed you, wrapping your arms on him so he could walk you.

“Ooh, Kunikida, at least take me to dinner first before we do that,” you easily replied. Your loose tongue will be the death of you, but you were too drunk to care.

He didn’t even offer you a reply, just a sharp, scolding look. Wordlessly, he walked until you were outside. The fresh air felt nice on your hot body. 

On your way back to your place, Kunikida finally let go of you, once it seemed that you could walk straight-ish without falling over. The silence that had washed over both of you was making you slightly uncomfortable. Did he really not want to talk to you at all?

You didn’t fill the silence until the both of you had made it to your couch and he brought you a glass of water. “Doppo, what’s wrong with me?”

Kunikida was both surprised at your use of his first name as well as your question. He was so gobsmacked that he never answered you.

“I just mean, I’m not your ideal woman, like at all. Dazai and I read each of the traits you wrote down that you want in a woman and I only fit like a handful,” you explained. You cupped your hands together to show him a handful. “The worst part is that with every fiber of my being, I still want to be with you, despite knowing that I would not make you happy. And I just want you to be happy.”

Kunikida was sweating next to you. He just found out that you feel the exact same way he does for you but that you don’t feel worthy of him. He wanted to explain it all to you but knew that with you being as drunk as you were, it would fall on deaf ears. I mean, you were already half asleep next to him at the moment.

He broke from his thoughts to kiss your forehead, before replying, “We will talk about this in the morning, when you’re sober. There is no reason for you to be worried.”

You were asleep before you heard him speak.

The next morning, you woke up feeling like absolute shit. You flipped over, facing away from the sunlit blinds, to find a glass of water and some pain relievers. Without wondering where they came from, you took both greedily.

A knock on the door startled you, not knowing who could possibly be in your apartment right now. After a few seconds, Kunikida came in holding a hot cup of tea. He was just wearing his usual black shirt and khakis, the vest and bow gone. His hair was a little messy and his glasses were crooked. If this is what he looks like in the morning, you do not mind one bit.

“I slept on your couch, I hope that’s okay. I wanted to make sure you weren’t too sick today,” he offered you the cup of tea.

You gladly took the cup of tea and gave him a smile, “Of course. I’m assuming the fact that I’m in bed and not passed out on the office floors, you took me home.”

“You would be right,” he nervously pushed his glasses up his nose. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

You remembered enough to be shamefully embarrassed. Without looking at him, you replied, “Yup.”

Kunikida let out a sigh of relief. He wiped his hands on his pants before speaking, “Thank you for being honest. Now I would like to explain myself since I didn’t get a chance last night.”

You coughed and blushed, embarrassed. You were unsure of where this conversation may go, your stomach swirling with unease.

“Now, let me begin by saying that the ideal traits in a woman that you read, were written ages ago, long before I met you,” He gave you a look but you were too busy staring at your tea cup to notice. You didn’t want to get your hopes up but you still listened.

“You should know that my ideals are important to me, but it can be said that they will age just as I age. I think one of the ideals that can be added would be that ‘she loves me, even after reading my ideals’ or that ‘she wants me to be happy,’” Kunikida explained.

You finally looked up at him. The look he was giving you was filled with pure adoration, something that was mirrored on your face. You carefully set your tea down, before looking at him again, “So what are you saying, Doppo?”

He inched closer to you, “I’m saying that there is no woman other than you, that is for me. If you will have me of course.”

Without hesitation, you replied, “Of course, I’ll have you.”

The space between you felt magnetic. The both of you were getting closer to each other without even realizing. Without a word, you filled the gap between you, kissing Kunikida with as much passion as you had.

In shock, he failed to kiss you back. That was until you kissed him with extra fervor. He got the idea and didn’t hesitate to deepen the kiss. You felt at peace in this moment and if it was possible, you would never leave. 

[skazoo]

closure.

↳ lee taeyong x f!reader

right people, right time, wrong place.

length. 2.7k

genre. childhood friends!au, angsty :((

warnings/tags. language, mentions of death and a funeral

networks. @kflixnet

notes. AKJFDKSA so excited to post this for @kflixnet 's exchange event!!! got to write for @lebrookestore !!! we never interacted before and i wanted it to be a surprise but!!! i got a nice look at your profile and 🤚🏼 lemme tell you 🤚🏼 i've been dancing around nct since their debut days and i swear reading random snippets from your masterlist made me want to get serious™ with it.... we'll see how things develop.... ALSO kinda stalked your carrd and how could i not write ANGST ??? for TAEYONG??? i can't say i 100% know him but i really love that man (AND i love angst too so..... masochist besties ig) i had fun writing it and i really hope you like it <3 also was listening to cinnamon girl by lana del rey while writing, idk if that makes sense.

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

hating funerals is completely normal, you think.

it’s normal to hate the thick blanket of sadness that covers the streets of your small countryside town. 

it’s normal to hate the vain small talk with people you don’t particularly know or like that’s requested of those who attend the visitation of the casket. 

it’s normal to hate everyone dressed in black head to toe; the old ladies with those dramatic hats, and the little kids running around giggling in those stuffy elegant dresses their parents forced them to wear. 

and it’s all completely normal how much you hate yourself for not-so-unconsciously hoping that this grievous event could bring him back to you after so long.

when you were younger, around seven, the older kids you played with —with serious expressions and a hint of what could only have been childish jealousy— had branded the two of you as the best friends. Y/N and taeyong. inseparable from dusk till dawn, never bored of each other, and able to communicate through swift looks only. 

back then, you had accepted the title with a certain solemnity, swearing on anything a seven-year-old can hold dear, that neither of you would ever be left playing games alone. 

somehow you still remember the light of a setting summer sun filtering through the nicely draped windows of his grandma’s house, bathing the living room in a soft golden hue. the background noise of a disney movie playing on the old tv while you lay with your stomachs on the thick carpet, coloring outside the lines of a coloring book he got for his birthday.

you remember the fateful question whistling through the gaps the baby teeth currently hiding under his pillow left; an excited glint in his big eyes. 

'best friends forever?'

'forever.'

'pinky swear?’

‘pinky swear.’

left to your own devices by busy parents for the most part of most summers of your childhood, staying true to the sacred pact never came difficult. 

the absence of family didn't seem to matter; as long as you had each other, there was always a make-believe adventure right around the corner. oh, the journeys you went on in those carefree years. you were pirates, witches, and kings, fighting against sea monsters, dragons, and the boredom always looming around the crevices of your hyperactive minds.

when your bond remained unchanged even through the challenging times of middle school and when you still enjoyed each other’s company in the social minefield that was high school, you truly —naively, perhaps— started to believe that the two of you were indeed special. a bond forged in trust and unconditional love that someone from above was protecting from the harsh truths of the real world. truths that would one day bite you in the ass and truths that came to you in the form of an avalanche of bittersweet betrayal.

pinky swearing was a powerful practice, seemingly unbreakable but not strong enough for him to keep his promise once you both graduated.

you had to keep your tears from falling, a strained smile here and a shaky nod there, as you listened to his muffled voice breaking through your despair. 

he was going to study abroad! on a scholarship nonetheless! 

you had really wanted to be happy for him, but the guilt that had tried to hide behind his eyes told you that he’d known he was breaking you along with the old promise. you could not– would not be happy for him the way he wanted you to be. he’d have to leave knowing he'd left you to play alone when he’d promised he’d never do such a cruel thing.

you’d waved him goodbye as his body disappeared behind the automatic doors of the airport. you’d waved him goodbye even after that as you got into your car and drove back home. you’d waved him goodbye as you curled in a ball and cried in your bed that day. you’d waved him goodbye for years after that. 

in retrospect, you don’t really know what you had expected the day he left. for him to abandon his dreams to stay with you and eventually rot in the small limbo of a town that birthed and raised you on the concept of alienation from the outer world? for him to choose you over himself? maybe for him to realize he loved you just as you not-so-discreetly did him; in glances too slow to be stolen and in smiles too fond to belong to friendship, even a ‘forever’ one. 

hating this particular funeral is normal, not only because it’s your lovely elementary school teacher and neighbor who's lying in the casket, but also because it’s making sad, and arguably mortifying memories resurface from under the personal growth you’ve spent years working on.

you’re not that sad and wallowing in self-pity anymore, though. you’re an accomplished person. maybe not as much as him, but that’s relative. your job in the only bookstore in town makes you happy, you’ve traveled a bit, you’ve seen things, met people, lived a life. 

and still, you wonder how many what-ifs would have made you happier, made you live more. if he'd stayed, would you still be together? or would you just be strangers with a shared childhood? blurry and long gone.

the small crowd of old ladies animatedly chatting while their husbands trail behind like bored shadows, settles on the audience of white plastic chairs in front of you, and the solemn silence that engulfs the living room makes you come back from the trip down memory lane that had you staring into the void for a good twenty minutes. the cinnamon tea your teacher’s daughter offered you stopped being hot and drinkable a while ago, and you resignedly sigh, excusing yourself from someone’s grandma trying to play matchmaker for her nephew —who without a doubt is one of your old classmates— and walking to the small kitchen, away from the sadness and the memories.

dirty plates and empty cups sit in the sink staring at you, and you can’t help the urge to start cleaning them as if the help could alleviate at least a fraction of the pain the family is going through. as if it could take your mind off things.

“they told me i could find something to drink here.” a voice that you’re sure doesn’t belong to any old lady, speaks from the door of the cramped kitchen. 

hands in the soapy water, you don’t turn around, limiting yourself to adopt your practiced customer service pitch and answer over your shoulder. “yeah, help yourself. the tea bags are in the jar near the boiler.”

you hear some shuffling behind you as the voice speaks again. “are you a relative?” 

a short chuckle escapes your lips. you might as well be one. mrs. kim not only saw you grow up into the person you are now, but she also acted as your stone, the ear listening to your worries and doubts, your voice of reason in the world of adulthood. she was there for you when he left and you were a total mess, too. so yes, maybe she considered you one, but it doesn’t feel fair to her real daughter to go around telling people you shared blood.

“nope. just a… friend…?  more or less…”

“then why are you doing the dishes?”

you’re grateful you’re turned away from the voice because the blush of embarrassment that creeps over your cheeks is definitely not a sight to behold. you shrug hoping it doesn’t look as awkward as it feels. “i- i don’t know… i guess helping makes me feel less… powerless in these situations. i know it sounds weird but i swear i’m not some creep who likes to pop up at funerals to do the dead’s dishes.”

“pinky promise?”

it’s not that you don’t remember what his voice sounds like. you could never forget him that much. but as daily calls started to turn into weekly calls and then monthly and then every major festivity calls, his voice had started to dance around in your memories, perpetually morphing, presenting a different him every time he came up in your mind. a seven years old child making a promise; a twelve years old boy ordering fried chicken on the phone; a seventeen years old wannabe-man screeching into a karaoke microphone.   

the deep voice that asks you the weird question is one you’ve never really heard clearly or in person, only imagined in moments of weakness and dreams.

as you whirl around with wide eyes and mouth agape, water and soap splash everywhere.

“you?”

the boy —the man, you correct yourself bitterly— smiles at you so brightly you might cry. “me.” 

“how– when–?”

“i landed this morning in the city… jumped on a plane as soon as mom told me.” he scratches his neck, his head tilted slightly downward. “i’m sorry for your loss.”

your shock turns into confusion as you frown slightly at him. “it’s your loss too.”

“yeah, yeah i guess it is. i just- i mean you’ve always loved her so much and you’ve been around her for all these years…”

you know he doesn’t mean it as an attack on your personal choices, on your life, but the arrow inadvertently aimed at your heart strikes anyway. 

you’ll be grieving for longer than me. because you’ve barely left this town, because you still live two houses down from your elementary school teacher, and i’ve moved on from this place.

he clears his throat in a way that tells you he knows what you’re thinking. he’s always had that special power to read your mind like it’s his own. “how have you been?”

it’s been five years and this is the first time i see the man you’ve become. if you ask, the right word is miserable. that’s how i’ve been. 

you chuckle somberly. “shouldn’t i be the one to ask you this? mr. big shot? your mother was this close,” you pinch the air, your thumb and pointer finger basically touching, “from hanging flyers with your face on it around town!”

he laughs and you almost close your eyes to bask in the sound that you missed oh so much. the itch under your skin you felt when he first left —one that you were sure you had long gotten over of, one you did your best to forget and to bury deep down your mind— comes back hitting you full force. the itch wants you to forget the hurt and hug him close for he is the only one in the whole universe who’s able to do something about it. to scratch it and make it go away. forever. 

you hope he doesn’t remember what pain looks like on your face because you’re not sure you have full control over your expressions when it comes to him. when it comes to the infinite distance that separates you even now when you’re standing in the same room.

“no, but really. i heard you got an important job. as soon as you graduated, too.”

he nods bashfully. hands buried inside the long coat he wears. he truly looks like a man of the city; a male lead in a romantic drama you’re just a background character of. 

“i have yeah. they- i guess they liked my work ethic in college and decided to give me a chance to prove myself.”

you speak before you can think of the consequences. “you didn’t tell me though.”

silence falls over the kitchen and you swear you can hear the droplets of water falling from the dishes drying on the plate rack.

his smile is gone, replaced by a grave frown. one that looks practiced for this exact situation. one that, if you have to be honest, you didn’t want to know existed.

“i don’t regret leaving this place, Y/N.” 

you flinch at the inevitable turn the conversation takes. again, he always knows what you want to say even if you try to hide it behind ambiguous questions.

you turn back to your dishes with a harsh turn. would you be able to escape the kitchen from the small window over the sink if you tried? 

“save it. i don’t want to hear how easy it was for you to leave everything behind.”

you hear him sigh from behind you. “i didn’t say that. stop putting words in my mouth because you’re angry.”

your head snaps in his direction and the grip you have on the counter is so strong your knuckles turn white. “i’m not angry and you stop telling me how to feel and stop treating me like a child and–”

“will you please listen to me?” he shakes his head and steps closer to you, eyes looking back to the living room once to check that your altercation is not disturbing the mourning. 

you huff through your nose in frustration before throwing a small wave and a strained smile at the old lady that pops her head in the kitchen looking for the bathroom. “you’re doing it again! stop being so condescending!” you hiss through your teeth.

“if only you’d let me speak!” he whispers-shout back even if the woman is gone.

“what!?” you feel your eyes starting to dampen. the fear of what’s coming next is too strong to ignore.

“i don’t regret leaving this place–

you close your eyes to try to keep the tears from falling. everything you thought you left in the past is coming back to you in waves: the helplessness you felt looking into his excited eyes that told you the news of his bright future, the anger directed at yourself for being so dumb and naive to think you’d always be together, the fear of being left alone clutching at your heart and making bile rise in your throat. it’s that day all over again. a personal inferno.

“please,” your voice breaks in a pitiful sob, “please, stop saying that.”

he ignores you, focused on choosing the right words. “i was so happy when i got the scholarship, and god, i was so excited that i’d already packed my things a week before my flight…”

you turn to the sink again, an arm hugging your body and a hand pressed firmly over your mouth to prevent the whimpers from coming out.

you hear him taking another step closer to you. you feel the heat of his body reaching for your shivering heart; the hem of his coat brushes against your tights-clad calves. 

“receiving that opportunity was my dream. it always has been.” his arms come latching around you, effectively gluing your back to his front and you can’t find it within yourself to move him away. “and yet… Y/N, i hesitated. i stalled so much that the university almost withdrew the offer and i had to call them in the middle of the night to assure them that i hadn't changed my mind.” he feels you freeze against him and he knows you understand what he’s trying to say.

“for months i dreamed about you, Y/N. i spoke, acted as if you were still with me. as if i was still here…”

you feel him tremble slightly and his next words are hushed into your hair. a secret between you and him.

“you are my biggest regret and you always will be.”

you thought you had forgiven him a long time ago. you thought your pain was one of a child that didn’t understand, that still thought pinky promises were binding and unbreakable. 

“please understand that i needed to leave with or without you.”

he holds you impossibly close and you bury your face into the sleeve of his coat. in his smell, in his heat.

“please know that i never meant to ruin things.”

turns out even children need explanations when things are ripped away from them.

“to ruin us.”

turns out even you need closure.

you cry together in your dead teacher’s kitchen and you take him to the airport two days later. he hugs you tight and promises to call you more often. you don’t know if he will but now it feels different. it is different.

[maruke2003]

I've been itching for awhile to argue with a Tik Tok Snater 👀. I've finally got one so let's goooo.

First of all, James didn't slay, he never did. He was canonically a bully, no matter who they're bullying it's still wrong. Second of all the whole "what sa" or "it wasn't sa" is so wrong. Because it is, it is sa. Saying it wasn't or blaming it on Snape is horrible. I'm not even going to go down the road of the victim blaming that goes on here.

"walking on a corpse to hug a dead girl he was obsessed with"

Girl- calm down. First of all that's movie canon not book canon. Even if it was book canon do you really think Snape would have stepped on James's body, stepped on him?! Like do y'all hear yourself. The man would probably slip and fall on the stairs if he had stepped on him 😂.

Two abuse arguments. It wasn't abuse. Snape never abused the kids. He was a verbal man who taught a very deadly subject and students didn't pay attention, didn't care, and were careless. He's going to yell and get angry because a potion could blow up and explode in their faces. Sure he could have been kinder then he was but he wasn't so, cry about it bitch.

"what about Neville"

What about him? Don't get me wrong I love him but he was a clumsy kid, sure Snape didn't make it any better being the scary bat he was but, again, cry about it.

"trauma will not explain his actions"

Majority of Snape and who he is was formed from trauma so yes it will explain his actions and who he is and what he's done. His trauma shaped his life. From the first time his dad raised his hand to him, to the last time James Potter sent a unprovoked hex at him. Not to mention all the obvious emotional manipulation Dumbledore used with him.

His entire life was traumatic.

No trauma does not excuse him from his shitty actions but it does explain it, and you'd be stupid to think otherwise. Oh but I forgot, most James Potter stans are stupid.

Canon literally says otherwise to what you're saying so 🤷🏻‍♀️ go touch some grass or watch paint dry, I don't know what to tell you man.

Also I'm pretty woke, you don't seem to be.

Pleaseee I laughed so hard at this argument like ma'am you're not even trying anymore.

"At least James Potter had friends"

One of his friends betrayed him to Voldemort who ended up killing him, his wife, trying to kill his child and ended up leaving said child as an orphan.

The other attempted murder at the age of 15-16, went after another friend in revenge instead of taking care of his godson. Never felt remorse for anything he did as a student. Claimed an unprovoked attack and attempted murder were deserved.

The other friend put children in danger by not taking his potion, showed negligence already for not taking it/taking his affliction seriously. Was a bystander and despite being in a position of authority never stopped his friends from unprovoked attacks. Also downplayed what happened in attempt to make a dead man look better.

Yeah I think I'd prefer to have no friends idk about you.

"without James there'd be no Harry Potter"

First of all then Lily could have had a kid with someone else or Voldemort would have went for Neville instead, a different prophecy would have been made. There are so many other things that could have happened.

"the only Slytherin hero was Regulus Black"

Uhm, Regulus did nothing, like literally all he did was steal a locket. He had an obsession with Voldemort and was a staunch supporter of him as well as a blood supremacist. As well most likely one of his most youngest marked Death Eater (not counting Draco here).

Regulus could have told anyone about the horcrux but he didn't. He could have told Kreacher to take him back with him after getting the horcrux but he didn't. He defected and took the cowards way out.

Classic trauma comparison. *Sighs* these antis are so repetitive like common give me something new to talk shit about.

"Regulus has gone through more trauma then Snape"

Actually from what we know about canon, no. Snape was physically abused and neglected. His father was a drunk who canoncially physically abused him, verbally abused his mother, he was neglected as well (that being just because his family was poor is also a possibility). Also he was tormented for seven years by four boys (mostly two of them) just because he existed.

I'm not saying Regulus doesn't have trauma, we just know that the only canonical trauma he probably has is from watching his brother being abused. He most likely was as well.

"Stfu next time and hide in your fake world where snape was a hero. and ofc cry abt it"

I'm never going to shut up about Snape 😘. My world isn't fake, canon isn't fake. Snape was a hero, it's literally in canon. Oh no don't call me out on crying 😱, the world is going to end now.

No cuz this had me laughing hysterically. You know you've won when they start to throw insults at you instead of trying to argue with actual points.

This is only part one, part two will be in the reblog cuz tumblr only allows ten photos 😭.

[skrs-cats]

I have reread sunrise (the first actual wc book I've ever owned) and it's been WILD reliving a few of my memories with all the made up stuff I've accumulated in brainrot over the three, now I have all these thoughts that I have to vomit out. Aka a REALLY LONG incomprehensible ramble post abt the ending book of po3. Mostly about lionblaze though. I'm sory

*IDK how many times I've mentioned this, but chapter 1 starting out w lion leaving the df for good and beating tigerstar in a fight ALWAYS makes me wonder how things would have been affected if he just straight up went for the killing blow. I've only ever read books 1-5 once, so I don't have the best memory, but I think it's interesting to note that tigerstar managed to actually injure him, and lion was scared that if he died here he'd be dead for real, and then lion was surprised to see the wound when he woke up. I'm just wondering if these facts were first introduced here or if I just have tunnel vision towards this book (which is also true)

*'lionblaze always knew there was something wrong between him and ashfur' no shit bitch 😩😩😩😩😩 and then there's lion wondering if cats suspect him as ashfurs killer, something to do about everyone realizing how they never got along. and NOW I'm thinking about lion ending his df dream w tigerstars blood on his paws, and how that might have made the READERS suspect HIM to be the killer (leafpool prolouge chapter contributing to this supicion seeing as lion is also her kit) Only to end as a red herring when Holly is revealed to be the girlie w mascara running down her face (u can't see it clearly but my point stands)

*interesting lines about ashfurs death that I think about regarding what a warrior means for the clan (nonverbatim):

-'Ashfur never mattered this much when he was alive'

-'Ashfur's murder now made the clan determined to make him into a hero.'

*lion is posited to be the brave one of the three, in regards to physical danger and such. I am taking this character trait and cranking it up to a million

*I forgot smoky and floss existed :( IDK if they're still alive in the latest arcs but I hope they're doing ok

*brambleclaw trying 2 be nice to his kids and tell them that they can confide in him bc clearly they're all hung up about something but being denied it is funny and sad to me personally. He didn't talk w Jay, just as leaf didn't talk much w lion in this book, but I think it's given an interesting ending when in the end, its officially revealed even squirrel didn't tell him of the truth, which ends their relationship for the most part. I really do wonder how well he could have taken this if he was in on the secret from the very start.

*outside of that they sure do like to crank up the dramatics and mention bramble / squirrel as their parents any chance they get so that the three can be Emo about it like. 'THEYRE NOT MY MOTHER/FATHER.' 'WHATEVER SKILLS WE HAVE DIDNT COME FROM YOU.' 'WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH? WE'RE NOT EVEN KIN!' last one is abt leafpool which is honestly a lot. I think.

* one of the saddest parts about this book was how lonely they made purdy 😭😭😭 this poor old man. I'm glad they brought him back to the clan. But also I think they just forgot about him bc for someone being so vocal in defending Sol, he was outright just not mentioned when it was revealed Sol 'escaped'

* more lines that I think about regarding clan cats (also nonverbatim)

- Clan cats' instinctive distrust of outsiders

- why do clan cats have to think they always know what's best?

* Sol. He's just there to me ig.

* I liked jingo. I hope she's doing ok even now

*criminal how this book barely has any sibling bonding w the three when that is my blood sweat and tears. Maybes that's why I got so obsessed w the three of them being happy together bc I was STARVED.

* honeyfern 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

* call it the thunderclan bias in me but I was sorta annoyed when the three other clans walked in and told them that they should get rid of Sol or else. But also thunderclans reaction to Sol seemingly having run away is like. Giving back stolen candy to pre schooler vibes. Or something. This makes no sense I'm sorry

*I think it's interesting that Jay and Holly manage to find out who their mother is thru their own way. With the former deducing it on his own (I actually enjoyed the detective esque work he did in doing it) and Holly straight up asking leafpool. So now I propose lion being informed someway or other thru SQUIRRELFLIGHT BC I WANT FOR HER TO TALK W ANY OF THEM AND THAT LION FIINDING OUT THRU HIS SIBS WAS SO BORING OKAY I WANT HIM TO HAVE A SHOCKING REVELATION TOO-

* ahem. Also can I mention Holly confronting leaf abt who their parents were and leaf thinking it was about ashfur is so unbelievably ????? KHADHD, I'm not saying it was bad. but MAN. Talk about awkward huh

* anyways. When they all find out that leaf is their mom and then squirrel and leaf are mentioned to have looked at the three in the same familiar expression they have always had; love. And that line hurt me as much as Holly refusing to acknowledge or listen to it and running away. Lion and Jay werent against listening to what their 'mothers' had to say, but they loved Holly more than to just let her go on her own

* I always blabber about how they should have tried to talk thru their issues but man. They tried multiple times. They tried so hard. I'm not gonna specify who but they tried.

* Holly and lion changing their view of Sol in opposite ways in the two instances they meet w him is interesting but also a bit confusing. The last time we get a pov of lion is when he helped Sol escape so we don't really get a clear idea of his own thoughts anymore w everything after. That's why I can't help but just think abt him I guess

* reading Hollyleaf spiral more and more into her grief and despair sure was something.

* out of the three, jayfeather was actually the calmest in this book. Which is saying something, I think. I'm now taking this and making it my mission to have all the three of them as short tempered grumpy schmucks.

there's a lot more to talk about for me regarding these three, but I think I've used up all the words in my brain. My last thought though, is that after going through All That as an ending, it was really funny to just have this as a preview of the next book.

Also a bonus picture of what this book looks like too, sorry if it hurts u but it's testament to me on how much I adored this thing when I was younger </3

[ikeromantic]

Hii! I don't know if you can write this request or not but I would like to request for ikepri maybe clavis/ ikerev Kyle/ ikesen yuki / ikevamp who idk(?) (you can choose whoever you want that you think suit for this request). I don't know how to elaborate it but it's kind of like yk when a guy friends thought you were someone who just don't like women/ the type that will not sleep with the same women but then they saw a woman got out of your room maybe disheveled and they're low-key shocked,, that's the type of requests I would like for you to do lol (but you can change it the scenario if you want). They tried to investigate your movements with the mc and what's your relationship with her and all they heard after was a moan, scream and slashing sounds. Oop maybe it's too.. They all thought they heard wrong but it happens again and one day they saw them coddle each other in the kitchen, so touchy and kissy too until they saw the suitors hand goes down and they scream. That's all I've got lol. A little smut maybe if you wrote it. Depends on you my love ≧ω≦

I hope you don't mind, I went with IkeRev's Kyle on this one. I don't get too many asks for Ikemen Revolution and I do so love those characters. Here's Approx. 1100 words on Kyle and Alice in an unexpected tryst. Mostly fluff!

Edgar made his way through the halls of the Red Army headquarters with a jaunty step. His intentionally discordant whistling stopped as he passed the infirmary. Not out of concern that he might annoy some sick patient - no. Rather because he heard the most unexpected sound. A soft, feminine moan.

The sound might have been for pain but there was something about it that pricked at his ears. He paused, and listened. After a moment, he heard a sharp intake of breath. A gasp. And the squeak of a cot. 

Curious, and feeling more than a little wicked, Edgar tried to open the door to surprise his friend Kyle. He couldn’t believe the drunk doctor was doing what it sounded like he was doing in there, and he had to find out who he was doing it with.

The handle jiggled in his grip, locked. Then, just as he was about to pull out a lockpick, the door swung open.

Edgar inspected Kyle with a sweeping gaze, but it was impossible to tell if this version of disheveled and grumpy was anything different than his usual look. His gaze moved past the doctor and into the room beyond. Alice was there, sitting on a stool, book in hand.

“What is it?” Kyle regarded him with a bored expression.

“I see Alice is assisting you?”

Kyle nodded. 

“And you find her assistance . . . satisfying?” Edgar raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

“Sure. She’s still learning, but she tries.” He shrugged. “Anyway, did you need something?”

Edgar shook his head. “No, no. I was just stopping by to say hello.”

“Alright.” Kyle gave another noncommittal shrug. “I’m going out.”

Alice hopped up from the stool. “Oh, can I come too?”

“Yeah.” The doctor still looked and sounded bored.

Edgar eyed her. Her clothes were a little rumpled but that could be from sitting. He decided he must have misheard whatever it was he heard. There was no way these two could have been doing anything interesting. “Well, have fun I guess. Good to see you. And you, Alice.”

He left, forgetting entirely about it until later that day when Jonah mentioned how much time Alice was spending in the infirmary. “Oh, yes, it’s unexpected. Kyle taking in interest in a girl,” Edgar grinned.

“I’m sure it’s not like that.” Jonah gave him a prim frown. “He never notices pretty girls. Not that I find Alice pretty. It’s just, she’s a girl. Stop smiling at me like that.”

Edgar chuckled. “Well, pretty or not you’ll never guess what I thought I heard.” He related the story to Jonah with just a little embellishment, enjoying the way the Red Queen’s eyebrows rose and the stain of his pink cheeks.

“You can’t be serious!” Jonah looked lost somewhere between disbelief and outrage. 

“Well, there’s only one way to be sure.”

“What’s that?” 

Edgar’s expression went deadly serious. “We have to spy on them.” Inside, he was laughing. Afterall, there was no way Kyle and Alice actually did anything. No way at all. But spinning Jonah up was a joy.

The two of them set about keeping an eye on Kyle.

Edgar hadn’t actually spent much time on his Kyle-project, but apparently Jonah was on task. He showed up in Edgar’s office, high color in his cheeks, eyebrows so high they almost touched his hairline. 

“Disgusting. Just disgusting.” Jonah took a breath, trying to calm himself down. “I . . . I heard them.”

“Oh? Is that so?”

The Red Queen gave a curt nod. “I saw them disappear into one of the little-used storage rooms and then,” his voice dropped, “there were noises.”

Edgar kept his grin to himself as best he could, nodding seriously. “I see. Yes. Disgusting noises, I assume?” He popped a brightly colored candy into his mouth.

“Yes. Heavy breathing and - and Alice was . . .” his lips firmed to a thin, pale line. “She was moaning!”

“So you heard the noises. Did you open the door?”

“No! Of course not. I left. I shouldn’t be exposed to that sort of behavior.” He shook his head. 

“And you’re positive it couldn’t have been anything else? Moving crates maybe? The work made them breathe heavily and then Alice might have stubbed a toe and moaned in pain?”

Jonah frowned. “No. I - I am quite sure -”

“Because you listen at the door while people do things all the time?” Edgar waggled his eyebrows.

“No!”

Edgar nodded. “So it is possible you misheard. Hm.” He still couldn’t believe Kyle would ever touch a woman, except perhaps to lift a bottle of alcohol off her, or to save her life. He just wasn’t the kind of guy to have a girlfriend. 

Jonah looked, if anything, even more outraged. “I know what I heard! The real question is what we will do about it. Alice can’t be allowed to be - to be taken advantage of! We are supposed to be keeping her safe - not - not what Kyle is doing.”

“Is that so? What do you propose?”

“I . . . I don’t know. Perhaps I can occupy her elsewhere so Kyle doesn’t have the opportunity to get her alone.” Jonah pouted. “That drunken doctor is always causing problems.”

They planned a little while longer, and then Jonah left looking somewhat mollified. Edgar was completely amused by how seriously the Queen was taking this. But Edgar was sure there was no substance to it. He knew Kyle and he was familiar with girls like Alice - too sweet and innocent to be interested in adult activities. 

Edgar headed to the kitchen, feeling a bit peckish. He wanted a snack before settling in to read some reports on the disappearance of a shipment of magic crystals. That was quite concerning, but less fun than the made up drama of Kyle and Alice. He wondered how long it would take Jonah to figure out the whole thing was a -

The Jack stopped in the kitchen doorway, eyes going wide. An unexpected sight met his unblinking gaze. Alice perched on a countertop, her head thrown back, eyes shut. Kyle was in front of her, his hands lifting her skirt, his lips on her thigh and moving higher with each kiss. 

“K-kyle, that tickles! Ohhhhh!” Alice squealed.

“Does it tickle now?” Kyle’s lazy smile was a teensy bit wicked. His fingers reached for the edge of Alice’s dainty white panties.

Edgar backed out slowly and silently. It seemed his assumptions were . . . flawed. He swallowed and shook his head. When he turned the hall corner and was finally out of sight, he leaned back against the wall. 

From the kitchen there were more muffled sounds of pleasure. 

It seemed Kyle was every bit the dirty Lothario Jonah suspected. Edgar grinned. He’d have to find a way to tease the doc about this. And Alice too. So many ripe opportunities for fun.

[mzannthropy]

I absolutely agree that Camilly>>>> Daisybilly. Also Edmila. I'm just gonna pretend none of the cheating happen. Also, what do you think about fics that make Billy a bad father? I hate them lol. Billy was there for Julia's plays,soccer games, and to see her grow into an adult. You can tell he loved her.

(This got long...)

Thanks, it's good to see someone still cares about Billy x Camila! Tbh I've been thinking that I probably misunderstood the story, which is not unlike me with the way my mind works, but the thing is, I was only in it bc of Sam Claflin. I would never have had picked the book up if he hadn't been cast in the series. I barely care about real 70s bands, never mind fictional, and I didn't know anything about Fleetwood Mac (in fact I only started listening to them bc of DJATS and, funnily enough, I saw that 1997 performance on TV which they just happened to show at the time when the filming of DJATS was going on--but I didn't think anything of it. Don't those two hate each other?). That's my kind of longwinded way of saying that I had no idea I was supposed to ship Daisy and Billy, especially as I rooted for Camila right from the beginning. I'm also much older than majority of the fandom and have one failed marriage under my belt already, so I see things differently.

I think that Camila liked the rockstar side of Billy, hence why she was able to overlook some things (after all, this was the 70s), bc she knew he would always come home to her. Relationships are laundry and taxes, not omG tHE wAY thEY LooK aT eAcH OthEr on stage, but I guess that's not cool enough for the show. I'm not a fanfic person, actually, I read maybe about three a year (and that's only short ones) and with the exception of Jane Eyre, I don't write any (I prefer writing original). Occasionally I check AO3 for some particular piece of media or a ship, just to see what's there (in fact I did so twice in the last week, once for a particular pairing in a L.M. Montgomery book and once for all The Count of Monte Cristo fics, Sam's next project). I've never looked at any DJATS fics ever and I'd rather not know. So I didn't know there were fics that made Billy a bad father. I suppose people can write what they want, if they need to make Billy worse for their preferred ship to exist, well, they're free to do so, if it makes them happy. I loathe cheap, lazy plot devices and villainisation for the sake of making the protagonist look better, or making the reader/viewer care about the author's favourite pairing. I tend to feel the exact opposite of what the writer(s) want me to feel. So merely hearing about the Billy as bad father fics makes me hate them, lol.

It's not true, anyway. The show didn't exactly do Billy any favours with erasing the twins, bc in the book, he was with Camila while she was giving birth to them, holding her hand etc, in contrast to Julia's birth. But even so, we have some evidence of him being a better dad, like when he rang Camila while on the Aurora tour and wanted to hear Julia just sleeping. They could have done more and I suspect they really did, that there were more scenes that they eventually cut. Idk, but this picture just makes me think there must have been more. Who knows...

So while he may not have been the world's best dad, he was not a bad one either. After all, as I started saying lately, (about real people but it goes for fictional too), people can be more than one thing.

Saying that, Eddie gives me mild incel vibes. If Camila wanted to be with Eddie, she'd be with him. "I'd choose you over everyone" means nothing, it's just words. It was a bit of a lazy shortcut for Camila to cheat with him, but that's just one of the show's sins. They gave Camila a creative profession and then did a fuck all with it, like why couldn't she have connected with a fellow photographer? Like that dude she talked to in the dark room or whoever it was.

I wonder if soon we'll start seeing articles on Screen Rant et al about how "wrong we were to ship Billy and Daisy and how emotional affairs ruin the lives of everyone around them" or something similar. More likely, though, the show will fade into obscurity which I will honestly be thankful for. I'm glad that Sam got what he needed out of it (he talked about it in interviews) and I'm glad Camila got some recognition, she just won a breakthrough award at Critics Choice and I'm glad Suki and the others got to be in it and the songs are good, and I wish them well, and I wish the writers a very hope your pens break and drafts get deleted and I hope Hello Sunshine burns down.

[apologydanceenthusiast]

So I've been thinking about Good Omens again and I have theories about the possible third season.

I'd say by now that we're all familiar with Nina and Maggie, who, without doubt, got a lot of parallels going on between them and the ineffables.

Now, if I remember correctly Neil mentioned somewhere that the plot for the third season/sequel would be much too similar to the plot of the first season/book, which tells me (as someone who's been thinking about the end of season two ever since I first watched at seven in the morning after pulling an alnighter to binge the season right as it came out--) that season three would most likely revolve around another child (baby Jesus) finding their way to earth to be raised by a lovely couple and then possibly being influenced by an angel and a demon (or perhaps they get switched again and end up with the wrong family, it isn't that important for the point I'm trying to make).

My point here is, Maggie and Nina, as lovely as the are and as much as I love them didn't really have much of a purpose in season two apart from an (admittedly a litte unnecessary, considering heaven sent one of their lowest ranking angels to check and didn't actually draw that many consequences) excuse for Aziraphale's and Crowley's miracle.

Now I raise you:

Season three plays multiple years in the future. Nina has gotten over her ex and worked on herself enough to find her way back to Maggie and they finally git together.

Stuff happens (maybe a basket miraculously appearing in front of gmcogmd, or the record shop, idk. Maybe they wouldn't even end up with it purposefully and more by accident) and they end up with little Baby Jesus.

[kasplonkable]

Steven Grant HCs:

Just some small things that I think he does

wears odd socks. He likes all the fun colours but always manages to lose one of them. He never buys plain black socks, but sometimes wakes up to find most of his coloured ones gone and replaced with them

regularly goes charity/thrift shopping. Not only is it another way for him to be environmentally friendly, but the clothes in there are cheap as chips, which is good for someone on a gift shop worker's salary

speaking of the gift shop, whenever he sees a cool new paperweight, he buys one for Gus' tank. He tries to set up all the things like a real landscape at first, but ends up swapping the decorations around so often that he forgets

always so excited when he sees a school arrive at the Egyptian exhibit for a trip. He always tries to sneak away to explain an interesting fact to a group of (largely uninterested) kids, before he's dragged back to the gift shop by Donna

he also ends up infodumping about whatever product a customer is paying for, before looking up and seeing them impatiently waiting to actually pay for it. Like if they're buying a pharaoh bookmark, he absentmindedly starts talking about exactly which pharaoh it is and how you can tell and the historical significance of it and the reason it's important and th- right they're still waiting to pay

when he got fired from the museum, he started infodumping to Gus instead, because keeping it all in made him feel like he was going to explode (and Gus never gets bored and stops listening)

read The Kane Chronicles and loved it so much that he tried to read Percy Jackson too, but found that the Greek gods weren't as interesting to him as the Egyptian gods, and just reread The Kane Chronicles again instead

I was going to say that he can't put up IKEA furniture, but the amount of care and patience he approaches things with made me change my mind. He absolutely can put a flat pack table together and enjoys every second of it (Marc on the other hand... "Marc just read the instructions" "No Layla, the instructions are wrong, I can do this myself" *proceeds to make a chair when it was supposed to be a chest of draws*)

tried to look after house plants, but there wasn't enough light in his flat so they died. Then tried to look after succulents and cacti instead, but when they died too he just gave up. I do think he just has one stubborn cactus that sits on his windowsill and refuses to die, which makes him smile everytime he remembers to water it

this is such a random one, but I imagine he understands English slang really well (obviously) while Marc is just completely lost, so he tries to translate

like imagine Marc gets into an altercation with a roadman one day and he has to be like "Steven, what does back out the rambo mean?" And Steven's like "MARC HE'S THREATENING TO STAB US!!!"

Idk that's just a funny situation to me

cannot just walk past a bookshop. He tries so hard to just ignore them, but once he sees the books in the window, he's done. He loses hours in there just perusing the different titles and ends up buying like, six new books

he went vegan after seeing a documentary on food production as a kid. Seeing the way farmers treat livestock made him feel horrible, and from then on he avoided anything to do with meat and animals

reading about how cows and bulls were sacred in Egypt only reinforced his decision

I think that's it for now, but I might make a part 2!! I could talk about this show literally forever, so we'll see how it goes. I also want to say that I've never read The Kane Chronicles, so feel free to let me know who you think his favourite character would be! I'm personally a big fan of Norse mythology, so reading Magnus Chase and then trying to read Percy Jackson was a struggle. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed!!

[cbrownjc]

does it satisfy y'all psychosexually to be condescending and hoping loumand fans get egg on their face. y'all are so miserable you spend so much time on fans you don't like instead of like idk enjoying and talking about what you like

imagine how much happier you'd be if you left loumand fans alone to their "delusions"

but you have to feel superior for knowing anne's racist, sexist, homophobic, pedophilic books by heart

Oh look, I got my first anon hate.

Listen carefully Anon. No one is being condescending to y'all about what we're saying here. Nor are we miserable about it. Quite the contrary, from a little I've seen, some are even looking forward to laughing at ya'll about all of this . . . hell, I'm sure some are already doing it.

Also, you have clearly never read much of my Tumblr if you think I've spent all my time these past few months talking only about Louis-Armand shippers, good lord.

But some of us, particularly me, have been in and around fandoms for a long long time now. And have seen variations of this very same thing happen long before now. And it'll more than likely happen again after this in some other fandom too.

So the fandom drama regarding what's coming is pretty easy to see coming in that regard.

Because I have seen what probably you and others have said in other Anon asks to others here on Tumblr about this. And it isn't inspiring any confidence that it'll be any different than it has been before.

Look, no one has been telling you not to ship Louis and Armand. I mean, maybe a few hardcore people who only focus on ships - and Louis-Lestat in general - may have, IDK. But the Tumblr blogs I've seen and follow largely have not.

And I'm not telling you not to ship Louis and Armand. Knock yourselves out, enjoy it! Many already have been shipped them long before the show was ever a thing.

What some of us are saying however, and what we are just trying to warn you is that it might behoove you, however, to ship the characters as they really are and not what you wish and imagine them to be.

Because it's not going to make you happy in the long run to do so. You're just going to be angry and pissed off, and take that out not only on the writers and quite possibly the actors, (who aren't ever going to deserve it), but on those in the fandom as well.

I mean seriously. I've already seen what some of ya'll have said about Sam Ried, including via other Anon asks to other people. And it doesn't make y'all look good, okay? Or give me any incentive to think I'm wrong about what might happen to another actor after S2.

If it doesn't happen, I'll be shocked, and happily surprised. But again, I've seen this scenario before. More times than I've cared to. And hell, you are already doing it now to me and S2 hasn't even aired yet.

And again, we're not being condescending. All of this from some of us is no more different than trying to warn someone about playing with a loaded gun with the safety off who has no experience at all with guns.

Many of us are really, really just trying to be informative and not mislead you into what is coming. We want you to be informed and ready for it.

And mitigate the fallout when it does.

Again ship Louis and Armand to your heart's content. Love their characters all you want. I love them. Many of us do.

It would just better serve you, in the long run, to do so as their characters actually are, and not as some mirage you feel personally attacked about whenever someone rightfully points out that the house of cards you've built up - particularly about Armand's character - is exactly that.