#If it's bad well.... Deez nuts.... :(

[ghastlybin]

Hello, can i make a request? 🥺🥺 what do you think about some zombie / post apocalypse AU with Handong? Idk, maybe reader and her met in some horde killing, they team up and ... Love blossoms 🤣 i leave it to you ☺️

Yoooooo first series, this first part is more of an introduction. I've edited this like four times so if there's any mistakes, disregard. PFFT. Anyways, thank you for requesting! I'm excited for this and as always, check the warnings!!!! Ily and I love Handong :,)

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▾Zombie Apocalypse! AU ▾ Series ▾ Angst ▾ Fluff ▾ Reader x Handong are endgame ▾ Some zombies are mutated but that'll show up later ▾ Survival ▾ gun usage▾ Hurt/comfort? ▾ some profanity ▾ FT. The rest of Dreamcatcher ▾ Also featuring a number of other idols that won’t show up until… Later chapters. ▾ I’ve waited my whole life to write a zombie AU. I fcking love post-apocalyptic stuff, as you will soon find out. ▾ Let’s MF goooooooo ▾ I will add more tags as we go lol▾

▾

W.C▾2.6k

Synopsis▾ For weeks after the outbreak of violent outbursts from people infected with a mysterious virus, you were alone and slowly running out of food and places to go. After running from a horde of infected, you meet Handong, the person who saved your life.

-> Part 02

You were numb to it by now, seeing infected roam the streets. Some ran, most walked, and others started showing signs of mutation.

It’s not like you didn’t care though. It bothered you knowing that the infected you’ve had to run from for months now, were once people living day-to-day just as you were.

The same infection that wiped half— If not most of the population. The ones that survived, are in a constant state of survival mode. The infected weren’t the only ones you needed to outlast.

There was also famine, disease, other humans— The hostiles, and the loneliness you faced being one of the few left alive.

You moved around the city, trying to always stay one step ahead of the infected. You made your way towards a small grocery store that was mostly looted during the first week of the outbreak.

A bell rang out through the store as soon as you opened the door, hoping you were completely alone in the store. And to your luck, you were. Though the quiet made you feel uneasy about your surroundings.

The store proved futile as a source of food, but there were pretty sufficient hiding spots in the event you would need a place to hide. You were low on food, though, and you weren’t entirely sure on how long the rest of your supply would last.

A loud gunshot startled you, dropping the mangled can you barely picked up. Then you heard shouting from outside, distant, but nearby.

“This way! There are too many!” The voice of a woman shrilled through the streets outside. You ran out of the store, the same bell ringing as you were curious to see another human.

You immediately regretted letting curiosity get the best of you when the lifeless eyes of the infected— A horde, had seen you, hearing the chiming of the bell on the door.

“Shit.” You mumbled.

And you ran. You always have been. It’s either you run, or you let the infected rip you apart.

You always thought being lonely was better than being dead, and from the looks of it, you would be lonely again and the women you heard would be another infected in the city soon.

Every non-hostile person has ended up turning or dying in some way.

You weren’t an exception either.

You ran through the streets, turning into an alleyway the first chance you got, trying to throw off the infected.

Most walked, but the ones that ran? They were faster than you anticipated.

You made the mistake of looking back to get a sense of how close they were. You could hear their hungry growls and shrieks, but seeing how close they got to you caused a panic to take over your body and you tripped, falling on the hard concrete, skidding as the friction burned into your shins, knees, and hands as you tried to catch yourself.

When an infected jumped on you, hungrily gnashing its teeth, you thought you were done. That it would soon be over, and you wouldn’t have to live in survival mode anymore, wondering where your next meal would come from or if you would ever meet another person out there that didn’t want to kill or rob you.

You felt yourself give up, thinking that was the only thing to do.

In that moment, a loud gunshot had your ears ringing and the infected was harshly kicked off of you. Attempting to regain your bearings, a hand wrapped around your arm, pulling you up.

“Can you run?”

Another gunshot rang out as this mysterious woman fended off the horde of infected long enough for you to reassess your priorities.

“Yes.” You answered, the stinging from the fall lingering. It wasn’t enough to render you immobile, but you weren't going to deny that it hurt.

“Run!” She stopped shooting and pulled you along, breaking into a sprint. This time, you didn’t look back.

You and the woman ran until you circled back to the grocery store, only this time, you avoided the main door and redirected the woman around the back of the store, entering through the back.

You shut the door after she ran in, collapsing against the door from the exhaustion after running. The woman joined you, sitting across from you and against the wall beside an empty shelf.

“Thank you, for saving me.” You panted, speaking lowly as to avoid attracting attention. She lightly shrugged.

“I would like to think you would’ve done the same if it were the other way around.”

“You have a lot of faith in strangers.” You commented. She cracked a smile, taking a deep breath as her breathing began to calm.

“I’m Handong.”

“I’m Y/N.” You introduced, hearing the infected outside. Luckily none of them saw you two enter the small grocery store.

“There. Now we aren’t strangers anymore.” Handong reached into her backpack, pulling out a smaller bag. She pulled out a water bottle before opening the smaller bag.

“Show me your wounds.” Handong spoke, nodding for you to pull up your pant leg— Which you did, a bit hesitant.

“They aren’t that bad. Could’ve been worse.” You dismissed as Handong moved closer, washing the blood and dirt off of your scraped knees and shins.

“Maybe. But infection is one hell of a way to go out. Better safe than sorry.” Handong glanced up from your scrapes to meet your eyes. You noticed how close she was, the woman that saved your life, and how beautiful she was.

You felt for a moment that it was the wrong time to think about something like that, especially when there were hundreds of hungry infected outside that almost killed the two of you moments before.

But it was justified. You hadn’t seen another human— That didn’t leave you for dead or try to kill you— Since the early days of the outbreak. Handong lacked enough bandages, but she seemed to know how to even out the placement to where it looked like it was enough.

She took your hands gently, pouring the cool liquid against your palms, cleaning the scrape on your palms as best as she could with what she had.

“You fell pretty hard.” Handong used the rest of the bandage wrap to wrap your palms.

“Yeah.” You stared at her, unsure what else to say. You were still mesmerized by her beauty and how much kindness she showed you.

“I can clean your wounds better back at our hideout, but for now, this will help until the horde leaves this area.” Handong moved back to her previous spot, her back against the wall again.

“Are you a doctor?” You asked. Handong smiled, shaking her head.

“Hardly. I’m just the stand-in until we find an actual doctor.”

You hung onto her every word, finding her fascinating. Her voice, her looks, and her personality— From what you’ve been exposed to thus far.

“Do you have a place to stay? A group?” Handong asked, steering the conversation to you.

“No and no. You are the first non-hostile person I’ve met in months.”

Handong checked the magazine of her gun as you said that, almost triggering your fight or flight.

“You’re not alone there.” Handong holstered her gun after seeing how many bullets she had. “I can recall the number of times we kept ourselves awake because of hostiles in the area. If I could count on my hands how many times that was, that’s a bad sign because then I would be one of the mutated infected and I’d suggest you back away from me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, and even though she was serious, she ended up smiling at you for thinking she was funny.

And for a moment, you had forgotten the state of the world. You forgot the lonely days that turned into weeks, which turned into months. Having an actual conversation with an actual person rather than making comments to yourself just to fill the noise, felt a whole world better.

You hoped with every ounce left in you that you wouldn’t part ways.

The loneliness would’ve killed you before any infected would’ve. And maybe it was because of that fact that Handong saved you in more ways than one.

“I think the horde is gone.”

Standing up from the dirty tile, you peeked outside, seeing the horde was, for sure, gone, and left a trail of blood in their wake.

“Thank you, again.” You felt the dread of your moment with her coming to an end. She seemed to notice you stepping in the opposite direction of her and grabbed your wrist, careful as to not graze her hand against your scrapes.

“Come with me.”

You would have cried— If you could. You wouldn’t be alone anymore.

“To your group?” You hoped she wouldn’t change her mind.

But the smile on her face eased your worries, “yes. Where else?”

You shrugged and she grabbed your hand, adding to the relief and security she made you feel. As long as you stuck with Handong and you played your cards right, you wouldn’t be alone again.

With Handong, you felt you didn’t have to tip-toe or walk on eggshells around her. You followed her through short cuts she took all the way back to where her group was waiting— She hoped, at least.

It didn’t matter to you either that the city around you was painted in the blood of the dead or the wreckage of those who initially panicked when the outbreak happened, it was horrible, but you were able to ignore it this time because Handong was holding your hand.

Maybe it was too early to already have feelings for her.

Maybe you didn’t have feelings for her and was just glad someone saw enough value in you to save your life the way she did.

Handong looked back at you, an expression on her face that translated to ‘still alive?’. Whether she was actually thinking that or not, it felt nice, and you were certain that you were developing feelings for her.

She briefly let go of your hand, looking ahead at an old hotel that had barricades of dead cars and makeshift wooden fences surrounding the building.

“Don’t move.” Handong whispered. Handong proceeded to pick up a rock, throwing it at one of the cars. The rock caused a much louder sound than expected.

“Handong?” Another woman walked into view, holding a crowbar.

“Oh good, you all made it.” Handong sighed a breath of relief, motioning for you to follow her as the other woman opened the gate.

“We were worried about you.” The woman hugged Handong as she eyed you on your way into the safe zone.

“Who is this?” They pulled apart and Handong nodded towards you, giving you the go-ahead to introduce yourself.

“I’m Y/N. Handong saved my life.” You slowly smiled widely, trying to ease the tension. The other woman glanced at Handong, then back at you.

“I’m Yoobin.” She eased up on you, still showing caution at your arrival. You didn’t blame her either. You knew you weren’t bad, but they didn’t.

Just as you didn’t know whether they were actually good people or not. That’s how the world was. You didn’t know who to trust and who not to trust.

Who would save a person's life just to kill them?

“Handong’s back? I heard her signal but I—” Another woman appeared; She was holding a baseball bat that was latched to a makeshift holster on her back.

“Ah, Gahyeon, meet Y/N. The person Handong saved.” Yoobin glanced at you. And for a split second, you swore she smiled.

“Nice to meet you… Please don’t turn into a bad person. We are… Jumpy.” Gahyeon shook your hand. You couldn’t tell if she was threatening you or not, but you were more appeased that she showed willingness to trust you.

The three women walked inside and Handong motioned for you to follow them.

You were met with four more women, each holding a weapon of their own and varying differently from each other.

“I’m Y/N.” You introduced once more, feeling your nerves wracking as they each stared at you in varying degrees of caution.

“I’m Minji.” One of them spoke up. She was holding a hammer, gripping the handle as if ready for you to try something.

“I’m Bora.” The woman beside her spoke. Bora was holding a hatchet, also gripping it like her life depended on it. In her mind, it did.

You reminded yourself, you would be the same way. The hostiles ruined trust for those surviving.

“I’m Siyeon.” The woman holding a switchblade introduced herself next. It wasn’t open or ready to use, but you weren’t going to underestimate her speed— Or try her, for that matter.

“And I’m Yoohyeon, assuming you’ve already met Handong, Gahyeon, and Yoobin.” She was the only not holding a weapon. Nor did you see one attached to her.

It was about a week into you moving in that you found out her weapon was using and setting up traps for infected and hostiles alike.

Minji seemed to lead the place. She proved to be a great leader, in fact, and gave you a chance to prove yourself that you weren’t going to try anything that would get yourself or anyone else killed or hurt. She warmed up to you after you brought back food on a supply run and actually came back.

You deemed Bora as the ‘builder’, learning about how she’s the one that built the barricades around the hotel. It made more sense to you, seeing her weapon being a hatchet. She was impressed when you offered to help reinforce the fences, which greatly improved the defenses.

Siyeon is quick on her feet and quick to using her switchblade when needed. It isn’t clear exactly what her position was in the group, but that didn’t matter. You were just glad you were on her ‘shit-list’. Despite her clearly being a good fighter, she was actually very kind to you, and you offered to help her clear out the upper levels of the hotel.

You dubbed Yoohyeon as the strategic one in the group and she even taught you have to create a trap, which was tested on a roaming infected. She did laugh at your reaction when your trap worked, pinning the infected to a nearby tree.

Yoobin typically went on the food and supply runs. She was the first person you accompanied, learning the ropes from someone who did this routinely. She had a crowbar mainly to break into locked doors that she would run into around the city, and rarely ever used it to take down an infected.

Gahyeon usually kept watch for anything suspicious around the outside of the hotel. She knew how to keep hidden as to not alert any potential thieves or murderers. She uses her advantages to warn the group.

And Handong, the stand-in medic, is still the woman you’ve developed feelings for starting from the day you met her. Since then, you’ve gotten closer to her specifically.

Whether it was just in your mind or not, you had a feeling that she felt the same for you.

[hoonvrs]

NOONA — p. sunghoon smau

PAIRING younger!sunghoon x older!fmr

SYNOPSIS park sunghoon experienced love at first sight when he first laid eyes on his friends older sister. a series of sunghoon desperately trying to do anything in his power to get the girl and yang jungwon cockblocking him for funsies.

GENRE smau, fluff, highschool/college au, crack, sunghoon having no shame

FEATURING ( enha ) all, ( aespa ) karina + winter, ( txt ) beomgyu + soobin, ( loona ) olivia hye

WARNINGS swearing, kys/kms jokes, friendly bullying, dick/sex jokes, sunghoon crying every other chapter ( more will be added if necessary )

STATUS complete

TAGLIST (CLOSED)

S. NOTE adding this note here to remind everyone to not spam like! it shadowbans my posts and lessens my engagement, enjoy <3

PROFILES loser lamo wannabe | WOMEN IN STEM (and man) | privs

CHAPTERS

01 | BLONDE JAKE HATE PAGE

02 | surprise shawty!

03 | what’s her name, quickly

04 | why’s he kinda…

05 | not a virgin anymore

06 | all da virgins mad😹

07 | do it for noona

08 | he’s out of line. let’s kill him.

09 | we both crode (+written 0.5k)

10 | you are scaring the hoes

11 | not living not laughing not loving

12 | she won’t me

13 | sounds sus…

14 | hey dweeb

15 | me n her are like this🤞🏼

16 | you wanna kiss me so bad

17 | i’m bathed in his blood

↳ extra: can you fight

18 | never beating them delusions

19 | what the actual fuck dawg

20 | you scare me sometimes

21 | what did you just call me

22 | hoes be mad

23 | gotta make mommy proud

24 | HES SO!:&:@2’d

25 | no comment

26 | the sexy six (+heeseung)

27 | y’all

28 | messy girls

29 | a little birdie told me

30 | i’m better than her

31 | BRING HER BACK🗣️

32 | heart brocken

↳ extra: ask me if i care

33 | i’ll understand

34 | I WAS A LITTLE EMOSH

35 | is it cause i’m too swaggie

36 | imma dawg imma freak

37 | y’all hear sumn😰

38 | ruh oh

39 | liverboy

40 | what if i was suicidal

41 | omg hes fucking french

42 | girl what

↳ extra: i can fix her❤️

43 | virgin with a capital P (+written 0.4k)

44 | in big 20 23

45 | kill you’reself

46 | i hate virgins

47 | we’re breaking up.

48 | the ‘park’ date (+written 0.4k)

49 | YOU CANNY TRICK MEH

50 | i’m gonna eat him

51 | not you lying on my name

52 | back up missy

↳ extra: deez nuts

53 | WELL THATS TOO DAMN BAD

54 | shut up 5’9

55 | /sad

56 | have some shame

57 | elimination

58 | do it No balls.

59 | past tense of see. seew

60 | CIC

↳ extra: random

EP1 | proof or it didn’t happen

EP2 | his ass is NOT studying

EP3 | #SNOWAPPDIE

copyright © hoonvrs 2023 all rights reserved

[royalarchivist]

Ramon had a cute idea for the Huevitos (members of Fit's community) to fill the #ramonbday tag with art and kind messages so he can show them to Fit for his birthday (February 1st), so here's my contribution! I have over 800 Fit-related clips, so it was hard to choose just a few fun moments from stream :'D

Even though the QSMP server won't be open until February 3rd, we still have a few more days to share messages, art, etc. – so if you'd like to post something for Ramon to potentially include in Fit's birthday surprise, make sure to post it by January 31st and use the tag #ramonbday!

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

–

Fit: I can't believe I'm a homosexual now.

–

FitMC 2023 - 2024 Highlights

–

Vegetta: Leonarda, give me the picture.

Fit: Leonarda, you should give him a picture.

Vegetta: It's for saving your life!

Fit: [Picks up the photo she dropped] Oh, now I have it. [Sees its a photo of Vegetta and Melissa in their stripper outfits] Oh. Oh my.

–

Fit: It's a life experience Tubbo, you know? Aren't you glad you–

Tubbo: "Life experience" deez nuts, you bald bastard.

–

Fit: Ok, I'm looking through the bars– There's like, yeah–

Pac: [Falls off the wall] AAAAA–

–

Fit: [Dumping his wild cats in the Bakery] I'll just– I'll just release them in here. Screw it. What's the worst that could happen?

[The next day]

The big cats are still, uh– [Sees the cats mauling the Baker] Oh my god. They do NOT like the Baker

–

Jaiden: Fit, you're just a guy, right?

Fit: I'm just a dude. I'm just like– I'm just like the generic RPG protagonist. Like, human male, warrior. Like, it's– I'm as vanilla as you can get

-

Fit: Sneeg– shut up, I'm doing gay roleplay right now!

–

Fit: Tubbo, if you want to disable mines, you are disrespecting the entire Hispanic community.

–

Fit: What are you doin' staring at me, Baldy? Yeah, you think you're hot sht?

[The Binary Monster shows up]

Fit: OH, FCK–

–

Fit: The oldest anarchy server in Minecraft.

Fit: The youngest gay roleplay server in Minecraft.

–

Fit: [While playing "Hide and Seek" with Ramon] If he moves, then I know that was the spot.

Ramon: [Stares at him as the Metal Gear Solid "discovered by an enemy" vwing! sound plays]

Fit: [Cackles] WHERE YOU GOIN' BOY? WHERE YOU GOIN' BOY?

–

Fit: To be a turtle in the Arctic, you hate to see it. Yeah, you know this turtle is... not so different from me. It's living in a place that's trying to KILL it.

–

Tubbo: [To Pac] Just lay down. [Starts Casualonas-ing] This is for you.

Fit: [Immediately equips his weapon]

Tubbo: This is for you, king.

Pac: [Laughs] Fit - you see this?

Fit: [Shoots Tubbo, who starts screaming] I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uh-

Tubbo: Ok, ok, well he–

Fit: Misfire, misfire, misfire!

Tubbo: He wasn't- he wasn't- OW OW OW!

Fit: Misfire!

–

Fit: Sometimes- it's not about doing the right thing, Phil – it's about doing the more entertaining thing. Right?

Phil: PFTTTTT–

Fit: They banned my ass. They're like, "Why are you talking to Pac like that?" That's unacceptable on this family-friendly Christian Minecraft server (TM). Like– "We can't be having any of that." "Can't be having any of THAT."

–

Cucurucho: [Slowly turns to stare at Fit while Pac is talking to him]

Fit: [Silently starts cracking up]

Pac: Ok Cucurucho, I'm gonna be waiting for your response

–

[Fit putting up art that Ramon drew]

Foolish: Boo it if it's bad!

Fit: Heyyyyyy! That's actually –

Foolish: Oh! Wait, that's– That's actually pretty good, what the fck.

Fit: Ramon, you weren't supposed to actually try. This is incredible!

[They both laugh]

–

Pac: Yeah, yeah! I was–

Tubbo: Everyone goes through their dick phase.

Fit: Yeah...

Pac: Yeah, everyone does.

Fit: Oh? Oh– is that so, Tubbo? Yeah?

Tubbo: Everyone- everyone–

Fit: When did you go through your dick phase? [Laughs]

Tubbo: I'd argue I'm in my dick phase right now.

Fit: Uh, you know, speakin' of spruce– you know Bruce Lee, right?

Phil: Yeah?

Fit: If Bruce Lee was a plant, he'd be Spruce Tree.

Phil: [Disappointed grumbling]

Fit: [Laughs]

[Fit gets kicked off the server]

Fit: [Laughs even harder]

[itostea]

perfect match (shidou x reader)

When news breaks out that your friend’s boyfriend breaks up with her due to his wish for a “mature” woman, you make sure to not to ensure that never happens with your boyfriend. 

warnings: established relationship, shidou being dirty again lol, he can’t keep his hands off you, the scene is kinda inspired by the ending scene in loving yamada kun at lv999, image from my reason to die

“I just got dumped.”

“What? That’s impossible! I mean you guys were soooo in love!” One of your friends gasps, a hand clasped over her lips. You feel yourself roll your eyes at the mock surprise, blinking as you watch her comfort your other friend who stared blankly at her lunch.

“He said he wanted a mature woman…” she mumbles quietly. “So he broke up with me and told me he was going to go look for one.”

You sigh, patting her on the back as you smiled in pity. “Don’t believe him. That was probably just an excuse to break up–”

“Oh no!” A voice interrupts you and you watch in wonder as your other friend stares deep in thought. “That actually happened to one of the girls in my class as well. As a matter of fact, that’s quite a trend now!”

“It’s a trend to break up if the woman isn’t mature enough?” You gape, finding her words hard to believe. Then again, you’ve been receiving more news of couple fall outs and failed talking stages. Unexplained motives behind break-ups; tears and uncontrollable sobbing; ending on bad terms. You don’t want to accept such groundless theories regarding these split-ups but they’ve been increasing exponentially ever since last month. 

“Yes, one hundred percent!” Your friend chirps. “Reminds me (Name), you have a boyfriend too right? Shidou? Does he want you to be mature as well?”

“Well…” you chuckle awkwardly. Truthfully, “mature” was a reach for your behavior with him. Just an hour ago, you made a stupid deez nuts joke to him because he ate the last of your ice-cream. And a day ago, you walked around in the house with a face mask and in your cringy middle-school shirt–not the most flattering version of you. All of the memories of your time with him come rushing to you and you can’t help but feel sweat drip down your skin. 

Believe it or not, you loved Ryusei. A lot. Even if you had to deal with his constant gushing about that Itoshi Sae player and his weird morning routine that required getting naked and yelling, you genuinely wanted to marry this man. You know it’s pointless to think further into the possibility of him breaking up with you, but the surge in break-ups makes you worried–anxious that he seriously could consider it. 

“(Name)? You’ve been glaring at the table for a good minute now. Are you okay?” 

Your friends watch in surprise as you suddenly stand up, looking at them with a determined expression. You quickly gather your things and slap a couple bills down. “Sorry guys, I have to go! I’ll see you at class!”

“What–? Hey!”

You jolted outside the cafe and sent a text to Shidou, telling him that you were coming home. In a normal situation, you would’ve ignored the fact that he responded with an “ok.” It was rare for him to give you short answer responses but it wasn’t unheard of. Yet, that answer is enough to make you pick up the pace, ignoring the way your heels dug into the side of your foot. 

Today is the day where you perfect the “mature” partner act. 

                    -

“So basically,” you mumble, choosing to ignore the hand on your thigh. “I know that you’re busy with practice and all that stuff so I won’t bother you that much. Also, I want you to start prioritizing your health and–”

 A yawn cuts you off from your ramble and you feel your eye twitch in irritation. Even so, you restrain yourself from arguing with him. “Are you listening to me Ryu?”

“Yeah I am babe,” he stretches, manspreading over the couch until you’re left pressed against the corner. The hand on your thigh just moves up to grab your waist and plop you on his lap. You feel your breath hitch but there was no way you were giving in this easily.

You huffed. “Then what’d I say just now?”

“Something ‘bout how you wanted to talk and other stuff.”

“That was at the beginning of our conversation!” You heaved, watching in disbelief as he let out another yawn. “Seriously Ryu?” 

“I promise I was listening, sweets. It’s just I got bored once you mentioned the ‘giving me space talk.’ Y’know that stuff bores me.”

“But it’s important!”

“Nah what’s important is this,” he mumbles against your shoulder, shifting so he can grab your foot to observe a fresh bruise forming. In his arms, you can smell your shampoo on him and it makes you giddy inside to know that you guys started sharing each other’s things. He tilts his head to get a better look at it. 

“Why’d you wear those, what do you call them? Oh heelies right? Yeah, why'd you wear heelies to a ‘casual’ outing with some friends. You’re not hanging out with other men right babe?” 

You roll your eyes from his random fit of jealousy. “They’re called heels and I wore them because it completed the outfit Ryusei. Now back to what I was saying–”

Another yawn cuts you off from continuing. It’s his way of saying that this conversation is meaningless. You sighed and tried to unravel his arms around your waist. “I’m going since you’re not listening to me.”

“Don’t be like that,” his arms tighten around waist and you yelp when he moves you back in his lap. “Not letting you leave ‘til you tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Nothing’s wrong–”

“Uh huh good try,” he says, voice husky against your neck. “Now tell me.”

It’s not easy to dissuade Shidou whenever he’s put his mind to anything. You’ve tried it many times and figured that he’s ten times more stubborn when it comes to you. Just that thought is enough to make you slouch against his chest and sigh. “My friend got dumped.”

“Okay but what’s that gotta do with us?”

“Let me finish,” you slap him lightly on the shoulder, gaining a grin from him. “Anyways, she got dumped because her boyfriend wanted a mature woman. Now before you make fun of me, a lot of couples have been breaking up so I got scared okay? I know I don’t act that mature with you so I was worried you might…” you don’t finish the last part and instead avert your eyes from his pink hues. 

“Oh that’s all? That’s a shitty reason.”

“Are you calling my feelings shitty, Ryusei?”

“Not your feelings pretty thing. Breaking up over that reason is shitty. At least for me. I think you’re cute how you are now,” he shrugged, patting your face with a grin. 

You still don’t believe him completely, frowning as you turned to look at him. “But…”

He huffs and leans back. “Babe I literally took you on a crawfish date and still fucked you afterwards–”

“Ryu! Oh my god,” you covered your face in your hands. “You’re gross!”

“Yeah but you like it,” he laughs. “Okay, point is, don’t worry your pretty head over shit like that. I don’t act that mature around you either.”

“Well that’s because you’re just weird.”

“You’re just as weird for liking me,” he snickers. “That’s all you wanted to say right? It’s cute that you went out of your way to act like this for your mean boyfriend.”

You rolled your eyes as he began to squeeze your cheek. “Please shut up and just hold me.”

“Anything for my girl,” he chuckles, bringing your head closer to his shoulder. Shidou always had the warmest body temperature that you couldn’t help but appreciate. Closing your eyes, you choose to relax against his hold and breathe in the smell of his laundry and shampoo. 

And that peace is shattered the moment you hear the sound of a slap and a sting on your ass. Your eye twitches once again. “Ryusei. Why do you always ruin the mood?”

“Babe it was right in front of me! I was resisting the urge for over an hour now!”

You pinch the space in between in your eyes and sigh for the nth time today. Thinking about it now, you two really were a perfect match for one another.

[y2ksnowglobe]

Thinking about just how disproportionately vindictive Willy seemed towards Glenn, even before the Deez Nuts joke. Like I feel the second half of season one really does a lot to show us how Willy feels about each of the dads.

Like Darryl's arc is more about how I feel Willy feels about Frank. Frank was the one omega daddy who didn't fall in line, didn't join him in his plan, who suggested that what they were doing was wrong, and he retaliates by making him a memory-less eight year old and ditching him in a fighting ring to get the shit beat out of him. If Willy makes Paeden an anchor on purpose, I think he sees it as a way to punish Frank and if Darryl gets messed up as well, then that's just a bonus.

Willy has almost nothing to do with Henry's arc, and I think that's because Bear and Willy are more symbiotic in what they can provide each other than Willy and Bill. Bear and therefore Henry and therefore the twins, are a way Willy can get the Doodler, but that's not a personal vendetta. The Oaks are a means to an end for Willy.

Then Ron is about how Willy doesn't care and that the root to severing his connection with Willy is something Ron has to pursue on his own without needing anything from his father to get it.

But then we have Glenn. Bill mentions that Willy is the one making him put Glenn on Trial, in a Talking Dads, Anthony said the plan if Bill had busted the daddies out of prison involved getting caught by Willy. Willy is the one who comes in for the final judgement. Willy is disproportionately and maliciously involved in Glenn's arc when compared to the other dads. And I asked myself...why?

I had a short lived thought that maybe Nick was the most annoying kid in Ravenloft, what with his "That's my dad!" about the drone, but that didn't check out, because we know that in the alternate timeline, Glenn still goes to prison (for being a bad friend or whatever) so it seems like if it was annoyance at Nick, it wouldn't have played out in the Nicholas timeline.

Eventually the answer was obvious.

Willy is the pettiest of bitches.

Killing Glenn over a Deez Nuts joke is something we already knew, but it goes deeper than that. Glenn wouldn't stop helicoptering his dick in the shared dream space, Glenn called him a boomer, Glenn pretended his own butt was Willy's face, and though Willy played it off like it didn't bother him at the time, this is the man that will go on to marry Cassandra Swift because he's mad about her ex-not-quite-father-in-law doing a Deez Nuts joke on him, of course those earlier things bothered him!

[aprilmayverse]

mayverse dash simulator 2 but this time its if they had a fandom

💀 winered Follow "we need more complex mentally ill female characters" you people couldnt even handle june july.

💄 october-november Follow why are we all acting as if april was in the wrong for not wanting to traumadump on a literal child?

👠 pinkbitchnamedbreakfast Follow she literally did not tell her anything

💄 october-november Follow did she not tell her about the poisioning.

👠 pinkbitchnamedbreakfast Follow yeah, nearly half a decade after it happened

💄 october-november Follow well was she just supposed to tell her as soon as it happened? june was like 8 or 9 at the time

👠 pinkbitchnamedbreakfast Follow i'm just saying it's fucked up of her

🌺 ithinkihauvejaundice Follow june and dys did nothing wrong. "what about the murders" god forbid a couple middle school girls have some sleepover fun. those people deserved it anyway

⛅️ evil-wifeguy-lesbian Follow june july was the realest bitch out there because if MY girlfriend needed someone dead i would do it in an instant

☀️ peacenloveonplanetsapphic Follow i don't want you to murder people for me dearest we've been over this i don't need anyone dead

🍂 littlejester Follow

🌎 thefuckingwizard Follow "february march gaslight gatekeep girlboss" this and that. wheres my february cringefailgirl truthers

🕷 thirdsilliestvriskakinnie Follow i think that if i lost a bad bitch to an arranged marriage i would do what dinah did too

🕷 thirdsilliestvriskakinnie Follow i think i hauve a mental illness

🐬 celerytheworld Follow was it casual when you promised we were going to get married as kids, were my first kiss, told me you'd be in love with me and marry me and take me on dates if one of us was the opposite gender, told me you'd love me more than your husband if we ever got married, told me you'd rather hang out with me then get married to a man, told me i'd look beautiful in a wedding dress, and then killed yourself?

🧑 normal-guy Follow op are you ok

🐬 celerytheworld Follow

🩸 murderenjoyer Follow inherent homoeroticism of killing someone together

👻 yaoifreak Follow pascal may x mr thorgett. old man yaoi anyone

🧢 whitemormonwasted Follow when i said pascal may did 9/11 this isnt what i meant

🕷 thirdsilliestvriskakinnie Follow june july is a vriska

🧣 februarymarches Follow christly shippers dont fucking interact with me! for obvious reasons! theres a four year gap there!

🌎 thefuckingwizard Follow i dont ship them but like...op how many years do you think are in between 15 and 17?

🧣 februarymarches Follow it's an eighth grader and a senior yall disgust me. four year age gap. proshitters dni is already in my bio, stop shipping a literal child with a high school senior

🕷 thirdsilliestvriskakinnie Follow 15 is not a "literal child" op

🧣 februarymarches Follow >14 in bio

⭐️ stars-discourse-sideblog Follow you're both wrong it's three years

🔥 sometimesthorgett Follow 9/11 MENTIONED

👻 yaoifreak Follow christly are both straight men anyway. if u want yaoi try pascal x thorgett

🧢 whitemormonwasted Follow those are two different characters + pascal had a wife

👻 yaoifreak Follow https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality

🕷 thirdsilliestvriskakinnie Follow 2001 and 1999 were two years apart i don't think they taught anyone on this site to read

👻 yaoifreak Follow READ?

🪼 dysapppointment Follow just saw june july's ilb design and holy shit not to be a lesbian but

🍋 thosedamnlemonstealingwhores Follow username checks out

🎱 tragedyenjoyer Follow ogigugh calendar siblings december sisters badmann siblings shiz siblings collins siblings what if i Died

🧣 februarymarches Follow just so you guys know op is a dacarol shipper. don't reblog from them.

🎱 tragedyenjoyer Follow i have bad news about the creators of the thing you're a fan of

🍂 littlejester Follow trudy cryme more like tru-deez nuts gottem

🛍️ poetrynjoyer Follow mayverse is so interesting bc you have beautiful heartfelt writing about love and loss and hope and family and friendship and romance and tragedy and loving despite with such complex women and you also have shit like "monk clickbaiter fraggot" and "9/11 porn games on steam" and whatevers going on at jms

🧲 whysoyurious Follow MAYVERSE HIT 100K F/F FICS ON AO3 WHO CHEERED

🎀 apricotmayonaise Follow making a list of who could and couldntve possibly done 9/11 in the mayverse, is doing 9/11 a sin in dana's cult?

🐝 incoherentbee Follow

YES?!??!?!?!?

[1wn8ure]

Meeting Minutes

Taken By Ranboo M. Beloved Minutes Man, New L'manburg Administration

10:02-The president is calling the meeting to order.

10:06-The president has made 4 deez nuts jokes. The vice president has made 2.

10:07-The president told me to write down his deez nuts joke. I would but I have already forgotten the context so instead I will just write that it was very funny (I think)

10:08-The president is wearing his green tie today. I like it more than his blue one. He always has to tug at the blue one- I think it is too small for him.

Gift ideas: 

A new blue tie

More green ties

Flowers maybe? I don’t know wha

10:17-The vice president started shouting. I missed what happened but the president does not seem very happy. He looks tired.

Oh, he’s shouting about Techno again. That makes sense. He’s usually shouting about Techno.

I should probably be writing down what he’s saying, but Quackity speaks very quickly. And they never look at these notes anyway.

The president asks me to read them sometimes, but not usually.

10:24-The president looks like he would rather be anywhere else but here. 

His forehead wrinkles when he’s thinking really hard. Or when he’s annoyed. It’s wrinkled right now but I’m not sure which one it is. 

10:26-The vice president is standing now, which means the president is also standing now. He’s still so much smaller than the vice president. I think it bothers him.

10:33-The president is slamming his fists on the table, which means it is a Bad Day. Everybody else is yelling. I think they have forgotten about me.

To Do:

Bring the president dinner (He’ll tell you he wants chicken, but his favorite is rabbit. Chicken is just cheaper. Ignore this, bring rabbit.)

Buy the president a gift (Christmas is soon)

Tell the president he looks handsome today

Tell the president he did well today

Tell the president a joke

Get the president to smile

Tell the president you

10:46-They’re looking at me. The shouting has stopped. The president looks very tired. The vice president just looks angry.

10:48-I think the meeting might be over for today. 

10:51-They asked me what notes I took. I told them the same notes I took every time.

The president laughed. The vice president didn’t.

10:57-People are getting up from the table now. Meeting adjourned, I guess?

I hope there’s less shouting next time. 

I hope they don’t ask for these notes.

Maybe I should write new ones, just in case.

Signed, Ranboo M. Beloved Minutes Man, New L’Manburg Administration

[vampiric-succulent]

OUAW EP 46:

Spoilers y’all! Also this one is REALLY long. And. Uh. Yeah.

Oh shit the Jabberwock figure!!! Is this the sword that the Campestri were talking about?

Blue vs red roses…….

Given that this is possibly the Palace/Kingdom of Heart’s Desire, maybe the blue represents the allies of Zybilna and the red represents the hags (or maybe opposite bc the temple seems to be of the hags—-idk)

Is the Jabberwock hag-aligned? Or is it kinda doing it’s own thing

TORBEK AND THE HOSES

Gricko and Frost go trick or treating w hootsie!!!

FROST GLASSES MOMENT LETS GO

“Gideon chooses not to read. Torbek can’t read. We are not the same.”

Love that Gricko gaslit Gideon into pulling the sword out of the stone and he didn’t even have to try to get him to do it

Also love how Nikkie’s immediate idea is “let’s rip the page out of the expensive book”

“Gideon’s trying to vandalize private property” “That has NEVER been a problem for you before” “…We’ll talk about this afterwards.”

Oooh cool sword

Guys what do you think “galumphing” is—- there we go

“I don’t know if we count— we’re friends!” “They’ve seen you masturbate many times.” OH

At the jabberwock fighting arena. Straight up “galumphing” it. And by it. Well. Let’s juts say. My blade

Ohh wait maybe the roses thing is who can get to the Jabberwock first

JABBERWOCK DEEZ NUTS AND GRICKO IS CRYING

IT. ITS GALUMPHING. WOW

He can’t galumph 😭😭

“WELL GET UP HERE AND HELP ME GALUMPH!!!” I AM GOING TO CHOKE

How many nat20s can Mace get

Oh shit!!! I think the blue petals was right!! It was an accident but still right

Love Gricko’s parental moments w Hootsie. I live for that

Oh it’s just some kid’s room

SHE HAS THE KREMY KNIGHT ATOP GID’S STEED AND THE GID KNIGHT ATOP KREMY’S

What if this girl is like Fate? Like she’s controlling the story as she plays with her toys

If she is fate and those two steeds are switched then I will be very happy

Hey leave Derek alone yes the connection is laid out but it’s a lot of info chill

OHHHHH FUCK THE LITTLE PRINCE!!!!!!!!!!!! YEP OKAY SO SHES PLAYING THE STORY AS IT GOES—- so who’s Grandmother??? Can’t be Zybilna as she’s asleep and locked away, id be so shocked if it was something like Baba Yaga

BUHBUHBUH WHAT IF THE CHILD IS ZYBILNA OMGOMGOMGOMGOMFOMG

Grandmother brought her into the tower because she says it’s not safe. The child doesn’t know what’s outside the tower. The child says it’s not wise to say her name and that Grandmother says she is very powerful “even for her age.” Zybilna is stuck in time— I thought that meant she was trapped in slowed time but maybe she’s trapped in eternal childhood? That makes so much sense. Oh my god.

I’m convinced this child is Zybilna

THERES A SNAKE IN TORBEK’S BOOT. Very sad that Andy isn’t going the Toy Story route tho.

GRICKO IS A CLOWN. GRICKO IS A CLOWN. MIKEY IS BACK IN HIS ELEMENT. CHUCKLES RETURNS.

Why does Zybilna like the Jabberwock? Or whatever it was before? What was it before?? WHO IS THE PRINCE ACTUALLY??? And why can they not work without each other if the party is here now???

I am also scared rn. What if they never turn back.

DEREK BEING A MIME IS SO PERFECT

Loving Derek’s mimings

YES RICH IS GOING THE TOY STORY ROUTE

BRETT IS BACK

“Do you have your Mojo Dojo Casa House?” “Well let’s find out— can you open your ass?”

Ohh is the Prince the King of Hearts??? That would make sense

HER TWIG PUPPET??? And the roses are bad????

NOT THE ELABORATION ON THE POTATO TOY ASS STORAGE

“There ain’t no eyeballs in this ass!”

“You cannot see that boy anymore, T— I mean, Morgana” WHAT IS THE NAME YOU WERE GOING TO SAY??? If it’s Titania then I’m so wrong about everything

WHAT IF THIS CHILD IS THE BABY SISTER OF THE HAGS?????? Didn’t they say that the baby’s name is Tasha or something?? So why is she aligned with the Prince and, presumably, Zybilna??? DOES THIS MEAN THE GRANDMOTHER IS THE ENTITY IN THE HUT?????????????????????

Yup. Yup yup yup. So she’s not necessarily with Zybilna, just anti-Jabberwock for some reason. Why????

Well this is giving me some ideas

“Twig belongs to herself. Get rekt.”

“If anything happens to Twig, you will all pay the price.” Uh oh. Something’s gonna happen to Twig again.

OH THEYRE IN AN HOURGLASS. HOLY FUCK

also what if Zybilna and the fourth sister are the same? I think that might be not possible given timelines but still

HOLY FUCK IS THIS BABA YAGA????? (I’m very latched into this Baba Yaga thing but I think it’s right unless there’s someone else who fits the Time narrative better)

THE JABBERWOCK IS HERE

Mace save your 20s!!!!!

Shit man I gotta go to sleep

OH FUCK FROST DOWN

This is gonna be a TPK unless y’all run NOW

Gideon please use your fancy dagger

YUP CALLED IT IT WANTS THE KING OF HEARTS’ CHESS PIECES

GUYS PLEASE CONSIDER MULTICLASSING INTO CLERICS AND OR PALADINS AND OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT CAN HEAL

Frost is being iconic rn

ARENT JABBERWOCKS A DRAGON LIKE FEY CREATURE???!??!!???!

Okay so Gideon is dead! Great!! Nikkie what’s your rule on taking damage beyond your death points??

THIS THING DOES SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

You guys are not defeating this thing I’m so sorry

FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Oh my god. Gideon is dead. Like actually dead. Kremy is down. And Gricko told Hootsie to run. I’m sure he’ll catch up soon. Surely.

Nikkie what the fuck??!?!?! Why would you dread that???? Genuinely this thing is too much for these guys what the fuck is your plan

Oh my god Kremy is going to die

What possibly could they have done to get out of this????? The thing has tracking abilities they were fucked either way—- the only possible way to get out of this thing would be to get rid of the chess pieces quickly but NIKKIE KEPT DREADING THE GODDAMN INT AND PERCEPTION CHECKS

FUCK KREMY IS DEAD. KREMY AND GIDEON ARE DEAD.

They’re not. They’re not getting out of this. They’re all dead.

There’s gotta be a reason Nikkie is going so viciously at this. There’s gotta be some sort of catch or save. Please let there be some sort of save. Please. Please. This has gotta be some sort of nightmare. Please let this just be a nightmare. Please. Please. Please.

Fuck this is literally Frost’s nightmare. This is exactly the situation he saw in the Tunnel of Terror. All his friends are dying and there’s nothing he can do about it. Also that is my nightmare specifically

NOT HOOTISE. COME ON NIKKIE. NOT HOOTSIE.

This has to be a nightmare! Or some sort of dread vision!!!! They’re all gonna wake up at the end of the session and be fine!!!!!!!!

There’s no way that the Jabberwock just comes out and ends then. I know it’s totally powerful enough to do that but there’s so much story left.

Okay. Okay no. No one woke up. There was no dream. No nightmare. No thankful awakening. They’re dead.

I’m still going to hold out hope.

[s1m0nth3swaggy]

chat i saw someone make incorrect qoutes of Dead Boy Detectives and I wanted to try as well. I saved the best ones, these are awesome

Slight shipping of Niko and Crystal/ Edwin and Charles because these bitches gay

Edwin: You spent all our money on THIS?? Charles, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

-

Charles: Life could be worse, Edwin. Edwin: Life could be a lot better too!

-

Niko: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Crystal: …I was hungry.

-

Edwin: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

-

Edwin: Start talking! Charles: Well, I- Edwin: Shut up!

-

Niko: Anything else? Edwin: Yeah. Stay away from me! Niko: Alright. See you in the room we share.

-

Edwin: Wakey Wakey Eggs and Bakey! Monty: But I'm a vegan. Edwin: Wakey Wakey Vegetables and Sadness.

-

Edwin, entering the room: Sees Thomas (Cat King) and leaves Thomas (Cat King), watching Edwin leave: There’s my monthly dose of Edwin…

-

Crystal: When I said you should try being friendlier this isn't what I meant. Edwin, stirring a cup of tea aggressively: Oh, so now I'm TOO friendly? There's no pleasing you. Charles, who broke into their house an hour ago: Two sugars please. Edwin: Coming right up.

-

Charles: What’s up? I’m back. Niko: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Charles: Death is a social construct.

-

(they are in love your honor)

Crystal: Niko, what does IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean? Niko: I don’t know, I love you, talk to you later. Crystal: Alright, I love you too, I'll ask Edwin. Niko: Wait- Crystal, no-

-

Jenny: Crystal has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all they say now. Everything is deez nuts. They simply can't stop. Jenny: I asked Crystal where they learned that joke. They made me promise they wouldn't get in trouble if they told me. I agreed. Jenny: So they lean in and whisper, "deez nuts."

-

Charles: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Edwin: That’s a snake.

-

Edwin: Someone’s trying to break in. Call the cops! Charles: loads shotgun I got this. Edwin: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

-

Charles: What are your adjectives? Edwin: …You mean my pronouns? Charles: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives? Edwin: …I dunno. What are yours? Charles: Noisy and chaotic! Edwin: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

-

Jenny: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

-

(Charles being a little bitch i love him)

Monty: What are you two arguing about this time? Crystal: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly! Charles: Cry me a table, Crystal.

-

(after the whole "I wasn't talking about you" scene and when Monty was trying to annoy/ make Edwin jealous or smth)

Monty: You are a solid 11/10. Edwin: Aw, thank- Monty: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

-

(i need more niko and monty moments because im convinced they'd be besties)

Monty: makes Niko a cup of tea but puts salt in it Niko: sips tea Monty: Niko: finishes tea Monty: Didn't it taste bad? Niko: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Monty, tearing up: Oh, okay.

-

Thomas (Cat King): I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good, so I simply did myself.

[maochira]

After reading Noa, Chris and Lavinho as father figures I can only imagine them giving the reader "the talk", just because they saw him talking very closely to a teammate or a friend. Chris is 100% the kind of father figure who says "you're at an age where your hormones are crazy, you need to understand a lot of things" and Lavinho wouldn't be ashamed to give the talk to the reader, making it clear that it's totally normal at his age. BUT NOA WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED, HE KNOWS TALK IS NECESSARY BUT SHY TO TALK.

I LITERALLY CAN NOT STOP GIGGLING ABOUT THIS. IT'S SO TRUE. Omg that just really makes me want to write more for these headcanons and make them like a series,,, so request some stuff in asks!!!

The headcanons mentioned: Noa, Chris and Lavinho becoming your father figure

Series masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, sexual themes mentioned but nothing explicit, the headcanons linked above are good to know for context but not needed (basically reader has neglecting parents or no father figure in their life, so Noa/Chris/Lavinho decided to be their father figure), reader is a teenager

Giving "the talk" (headcanons)

Noel Noa

-he's so unsure about what you know already and what you don't know yet, but he really wants you to be educated so nothing bad happens. Like, he's pretty sure you learned about it in school but he wants to be double sure. Also, he thinks it's better for him to explain because then you can ask him questions if you have any

-also, he doesn't trust your biological parent(s) to educate you properly, so like many other things about you, he makes it his job to take care of

-Noa is definitely the type of guy to write notes on his hand or arm to look at so he can really make sure he won't forget anything

-he keeps telling himself "today I'll talk to them about it" then he gets too nervous about it and doesn't. It takes him at least 3 weeks until he finally drops the "I think there's something I need to talk about with you"

-he does it during one of those car rides in the rain after soccer practice. But he stops in some parking lot to talk to you about it

-and it ends up being easier for Noa than he expected. To his surprise, you were fairly well educated already, but there were still things you didn't know yet. So giving you "the talk" was a good decision

Chris Prince

-unlike Noa, he didn't put any thought into it before. I mean, he didn't get the chance to. Him giving you "the talk" happened very much out of nowhere for Chris, because you were the one who asked him about it

-he's a bit surprised, but also happy and proud that you trust him enough to ask him about something like this

-he's serious throughout the entire talk, making sure you understand everything properly

-he would repeat over and over how important consent for everyone involved is and how it's okay to say no and stop, even throughout "the act"

-when the conversation is coming to an end, he tries to make everything more lighthearted by saying some jokes but he would also be serious at the same time, making sure you know you can ask him any questions at any time

Lavinho

-not embarrassed or nervous at all, although he does think about how to address it to you for a couple days

-is very open and doesn't mind talking to you about this, it's a normal thing after all. And hey, you're very much like father and kid so he has to be the one to educate you, because no one else will do it well if he doesn't

-I feel like usually, even during serious conversations with you, he tends to goof around a lot to make you laugh every now and then, but this time he doesn't

-okay that was a lie he would definitely drop a random deez nuts joke in the middle of it and then continue talking as seriously as before, as if the joke never happened. If you continue laughing, he would tease you with "Uhmmm what's so funny??? This is serious" and then laugh along with you for a bit, before returning to a serious tone again

-he would mainly talk about how a lot can happen emotion-wise during puberty, not just related to "the talk", and that everything is completely normal

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for striking for many reasons

hi. i've been elected as the representative of a few thousand people trapped in a basement. i rigged the election (RIGGED). The guy who trapped us in here is very mean, he won't let us out, divides us into crews based on our name in the alphabet, won't let us firebomb his attic where a bunch of other people are, he's bald, he's bad at 2d platformers, he drinks all of the olive oil, he killed 25 children named sam, he privatized oxygen, and he zorbed our dogs and ex-wives.

So, we've been on strike. For a lot of reasons.

-We want out of the basement

-We don't know

-Solidarity

-We want to do wars only when WE want to (funny thing is I'm a former army general, in the great acrew vs zcrew tabs war)

-We want to be better than the attic people at striking

-He rigged it

-Nirby desire

-Nintendogs

-Decriminalization of deez nuts jokes

-recognition of our main character ness

-We want free oxygen

The attic people are also on strike, as well as the kitchen cupboard people for many reasons

-They want rights

-They want to be seen

-Rigged

The guy who put us in here is complaining that this makes no sense, we're being irrational, and we keep sneaking into the basement anyways so why are we arguing, and he likes his house and doesn't want to firebomb his attic.

So, AITA?

Aita deez nuts fucking gottem o7

[twistedweels]

Try not to laugh

If the twist boys played try not to laugh with each other

for those who don't know the premise, one person sits and usually has water in their mouth (to keep them from hiding if they really laughed) and people take turns trying to get them to laugh and spit out the water.

Riddle - pretty good at not laughing, but trey comes out and says something that gets him. Very bad at making others laugh, usually is done out of pity or because he's so embarrassed it's funny

Ace - not great at not laughing, turns bright red when he's trying not to. Really good at making others laugh, has little to no shame

Deuce - is okay at not laughing because some jokes go right over his head. Not amazing at getting people to laugh but sometimes pulls something out that gets someone really good 

Cater - good at both not laughing and also making people laugh. Knows a lot of references and probably has inside jokes that can get him, but he's also super good at knowing what gets who.

Trey - good at not laughing, not good at making people laugh. Horrible dad jokes and puns that make people groan in embarrassment.

Leona - (good luck getting him to do this) good at not laughing, bad/doesn't try getting people to laugh

Jack - Rock solid at not laughing, is embarrassed to do anything too strange to get anyone to laugh though

Ruggie - has big cheeks that gives him an advantage when it comes to not spitting water, and is extremely good at making people laugh. Very cute and silly

Azul - decent at keeping a straight face, but those who know him can crack him pretty well. Like Trey makes a lot of really dumb jokes.

Jade - another king of not laughing, but will be smiling with his eyes the whole time. Takes a lot to get him to break. Also super good at making people laugh, has no qualms about doing and saying the weirdest things to make people laugh. Beware if he comes out with Floyd, you are going to laugh

Floyd - along with Jade has a bigger mouth so he can kind of keep it together, but is super prone to laughing so he loses it a lot. One of the best when it comes to making people laugh, does all sorts of tricks and jokes that has people cracking up (or just spitting out of fear) 

Kalim - one of the worst when it comes to laughing, it's hard to get him to not laugh really, has choked on the water and Jamil had to come over and help him. Gets a lot of pity laughs, is just so cute and tries so hard.

Jamil - (another "good luck getting him to participate") great at not laughing, never really knows what to do to make people laugh.

Vil - (really can't see him doing this at all) surprisingly quick to laugh, says some pretty funny jokes from things/scripts he's read or watched, but generally doesn't participate or just watches everyone be silly

Epel - tries really hard not to laugh, and does a pretty good job. Accents get him a lot, like imitating his accent and doing a bad job cracks him up.

Rook - like Jade, is beaming the whole time but good luck getting him to spit. Usually spits purposefully because he liked the joke but not because it made him laugh. Total ham when making people laugh, He and Jade are totally rivals in trying to get each other to laugh.

Idia - (was dragged here by Ortho) is terrified by everyone. Only can really keep it together if Azul is around. Does horrible dumb memes like "deez nuts" and other stupid puns and references that no one gets

Ortho - (he can get wet, right?) Kind of like Rook, Ortho is pretty bad about the whole "laughing so you have to spit out water" thing, and usually just spits if he thinks the joke or skit was funny. Decent at making people laugh, very cute, has to be banned from using his projectors to show videos cause that's cheating.

Malleus - has no idea what's going on but would be happy to be included. Never laughs except at Lilia (fae humor is so strange) and is horrible at making most people laugh because of all the fae jokes he makes. Makes a great partner though

Silver - be careful he doesn't fall asleep and fall out of the chair. Also very good at not laughing, and surprisingly good at making people laugh, since he knows some modern jokes and such from Kalim, and has a rather sharp wit

Sebek - talks all high and mighty and then laughs as soon as he gets in the chair, face bright red from trying not to laugh, then afterwards says he did it out of pity for the terrible jokes. Really bad at getting people to laugh, does better in pairs as long as he actually listens.

Lilia - goes easy on everyone because otherwise he wouldn't laugh ever, or at least not spit. Another demon at making people laugh, knows all the jokes and is probably the funniest out of everyone, not to mention isn't afraid to be super silly.

[sixthousandbees]

so kill six billion demons has an interesting plot going on at the moment. recent plot summmary and musings after the cut, so spoilers

the main character is being trained by old drunkard swordswoman. we’ve spent a bunch of pages going over her backstory, of how she came from nothing, got taught by a mad old teacher who lives in a barrel, and eventually became a ruler of the sword and many realms besides.

she returns to her teacher to try and give her a boon, in thanks for the original training. the teacher is not impressed, and cuts her down by asking the question. sharp words instead of sword techniques. but because this is a fantastical story about swords, it has evolved into a sword technique.

the swordswoman turned rulergod is so devasted by her teachers words that she throws all the splendor and opaleance away, and makes a quiet life in the countryside. it doesn’t last.

____

naturally we aren’t given the question. I have doubts we’ll ever find out, its a bit like “whats the answer to life the universe and everything: 42, well then whats the question?!?”. in that the musings of a question provides a greater interest than any solid line of words.

oh no! my poor little brain. I started this whole post off because I had a fun thought for what the question could be, and I forgot it, but I have remembered it! Assuming we never find out the true question I thought it fun to imagine it along the lines of “whats updog?” “whats a henwey?”. this is backed up by the comic lines. “for a short while I did not realise I had been crushed like an insect” ... “and all she did was laugh and laugh”

these cutting words technique is what the main character is being taught now. I think it would be absolutely incredible. transcendent even. if the big big bad of the story gets KOd by DEEZ NUTS

[starboundsingularities]

@kirbyoctournament

get chisped lol

Name: Popato Chisp (Chisp for short)

Reference Images:

Notes on Personality (optional, but preferred!): honestly he is just a silly little guy!! difficult for me personally to describe personalities but he's like a sillyboy to me. he's just a little guy. honestly. look at him.

Backstory and Lore (optional): OKAY. OKAY SO I HAVE A DIRECT QUOTE FROM THE PERSON WHO MADE CHISP (MY GOOD CLOSE FRIEND FLINTHEART HIIII FLINTHEART) BUT ALSO MY OWN LITTLE INFODUMP BECAUSE CHISP IS NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART. as a fair warning though a lot (not all! simply a lot) of this takes place in a huge crossover rp and isn't even in the kirby universe but he originated from kirby so he counts :3

Chisp is only a very little waddle dee! He's not a baby persay but moreso around 6, i think? He struggles communicating verbally like the other waddle dees because of how young he is and a general nervousness about talking so he uses nonverbal communications!! And my cannon for Chisp is that before he started realm hopping he was one of the waddle dees that travelled to the kingdom of the sky to rescue Dedede with kirby, but after it was all over he was!!! The only person to go and stay with Taranza, while everyone else went back to dreamland, chisp just sat next to Taranza and gave him a little shoulder pat, and that was when Taranza sort of, took Chisp in as like, a cool uncle figure, training his realm hopper abilities and such, Although as a "Pop-In Friend", and part of the reason chisp is so proud of his abilities is because its usually very hard for a waddle dee to stand out, they're mostly just faces in the crowd and chisp is nonverbal, as well so he finds it even harder, so having a close good friend who can teach him what makes him special was the first time chisp felt like an independent little guy!

^ flintheart wrote this everyone tell flintheart that chisp is so so cool i love you chisp

OKAY SO. my turn now. cracks knuckles. doesn't do that actually because it's Uncomfortable to do lol

SO CHISP IS JUST A LITTLE GUY RIGHT. living his life basically existing on dreamland. he's like a kid. we love him.

so one day this rift opens, right?? but not to forgotten land actually though to a different placce. to. okay you're going to fucking hate me. we've dubbed it ohio. and a couple of people end up going through that rift! not on purpose of course. but kirby goes through, king dedede goes through, taranza ends up going through it was later

and chisp. chisp is also in ohio. through... through the rift, right?

through the rift, right?

nope! chip is a realm hopper! or, as they're known in dreamland, pop-in friends! (which is such a cute name for them btw than you flintheart)

and those are something specific to ohio lore and not part of kirby but shhhhh. it's fun. anyways realm hoppers can teleport! and!!!! most importantly!!! they can just travel between dimensions!! like for fun! not even through a rift either like a lot of interdimensional travel is, just like teleporting, but through other dimensions it's very fun. i would imagine. i wouldn't know obviously i'm not a realm hopper they aren't real but it SOUNDS fun.

anyways chisp is a realm hopper and he's in ohio and he's ALSO. a child. and! he ends up getting adopted :) by one of my ocs, trinity. she's like just some girl. it's hard being a single mother when you're 15 and your child is a waddle dee and your friend slash crush keeps saying "waddle deez nuts" /lh

ANYWAYS THEY'RE SO /POS

trinity is a realm hopper too!! she's only ever told chisp though because she's scared something bad might happen if more people find out. sad! but this isn't about her.

anyways fun little facts: - chisp actually chose his name! trinity wrote down a bunch of names her friends suggested and let chisp pick which one he wanted (or write his own if he wanted to) and he picked popato chisp! chisp for short!

- trinity is refusing to acknowledge her crush on kat. chisp is trying to play matchmaker with them :3

- chisp is nonverbal!!

- chisp and trinity have little matching friendship bracelets

- chisp has been taught by someone trinity knows how to play guitar!

- kat is Going to give him a sword. you can not stop this from happening.

- trinity dyed her hair orange to match him :3 - yes he is named after popato chisps of undertale true lab fame. thank you for noticing

[warwithoutreason]

amaristm -> road-boy -> warwithoutreason

woah introduction real. long post sorrey

hello my name is lane or juno. he/it/Several neopronouns. i'm a gay lad just click this [ <- pronouns.page link ] for more information

if you feel like learning more click the wonderful keep reading button. warning for flashing stuff down the very bottom of this post

uh im australian [ as in the white boy variety. not aboriginal ] and use the fucking aest/aedt timezone [ i have No Clue which one it is rn man ]

getting it out of the way up here since i think it's one of the first things most people look for in a description but i don't have a dni because hey who's gonna follow that. however, if i look at your blog and you're marked as a transphobe on shinigami eyes or generally you're bigoted i am going to block you. or if i just don't like you i will block you. homophobes transphobes terfs aphobes racists and ableists go fuck yourselves <3

the theme used on my blog is by @/ricecodes. profile picture from corru.observer you should play it [ flashing lights tho so beware ]

i use [ square brackets ] instead of (parenthesis) because it is fun. for some reason ive decided to space them out in this post i dont know why but i dont normally do that

i have awful humour [ deez nuts ur mom etc etc. sometimes ironic homophobia. EMPHASIS ON IRONIC i am gay myself i don't have anything against queer people ] and i have a grudge against using proper grammar. sometimes i use tone indicators. i also swear a lot

there might be nsfw on this blog but it'll all be textpost jokes 👍

i call people man and dude and bro a lot just know that i mean it in a completely gender neutral way. if you don't like something i say about you [ in terms of calling you bro or something that might cause a bad gender time ] Please tell me and i'll stop doing that

i have too many interests but heres some of em [ key: Very Interested, i like this a normal amount, not very into it atm, i appreciate this but wouldn't consider myself a proper 'fan' ]

my ocs [ though everything i post about them when i do like once per year will probably be incomprehensible ]

corru.observer [ Play it. play it. i fucking love corru observer it is in your web browser quick easy and free. pley it plase /nf ]

ultrakill

just. generally. chonny jash's music

the kirby series [ mainly rtdl, robobot, star allies and katfl. also the anime a bit? ]

2001: a space odyssey

i have no mouth and i must scream

scp: find us alive

17776 / 20020

undertale

deltarune

omori

mob psycho 100

generation loss

half life vr but the ai is self aware

the magnus archives [ not finished yet, though ! i'm at like season 3 ]

project sekai [ + vocaloids in general ]

the process of elimination [ by disfixdog/hypertextdog. read it now. shameless advertising. it's awesome ]

no follow [ by shishka. VERY fun browser game ]

the upturned

demonvn / demon detangled [ by gertritude. its still in progress i think ]

the mandela catalogue

spiderman: itsv + atsv

heathers

the stanley parable

portal 1 + 2

ai builds

ace attorney [ the first stuff, i stopped when apollo justice showed up lol ]

serial experiments lain

off

ride the cyclone

yume nikki

faith: the unholy trinity

neon white

grab a snack at 4 am

regretevator

lego monkie kid

i sometimes do picrew chains and uquizzes and stuff, as well as occasionally gettin up to shenanigans with mutuals

occasionally i post art [ usually of my silly ocs ] under the tag #roadboy art. i don't think i've done this in like a year now. don't take any of the art in the tag as a representation of my art style ive changed it a lot

^ @/b0nkcreat ^

^ https://corru.observer ^

^ https://shishka.neocities.org/nofollow ^

^ https://disfixdog.neocities.org ^

^ @/aropride ^

^ https://spiritcellar.neocities.org ^

^ made by me messing around on blinkies.cafe ^

^ made by my friend astrid ^__^ it screams because it does not know how to communicate its feelings ^

[romaevelizz]

My Aphmau Re-write/Headcannons PDH-Mystreet

Im doing this out of pure entertainment for myself

Character of the day: Aaron Jaxon Lycan

Art by me

Hes Black. He has locs

Though during high school his hair was buzzed due to him bring sent to military school.

werewolf ovi

He had a close nitted friend group Zhuri(oc), Logan, Elijah(oc), Niyleah(oc), Ryan(oc), and my self instert (Crystal)

he’s dating Lily(hes like so in love with her it makes me sick)

His love language is acts of service

He loves caned peaches

When he finds out Aphmau is Sue hes nice to her and all around a mentor to her. Theyer age gap isnt gross nore wierd they are about 3 years apart but 4 grades apart idk if i want them to end up together really tbh like when it come to mystreet.

Aarons record is pretty clean hes not some angsty bad boy who gets in fights

He thought Gene was kinda hot before he started acting like a douche to him

He plays lacrosse and hockey those are the only times he gets pretty violent. (He literally had to beg and used the excuse it will make me seem normal isn’t that what you want? For his parents to let him play)

Malissa is the only one family wise that knows about Lily.

He’s actually really good with kids.

Hes really quite on his feet so he accidentally scares people a lot

He has some acne scars bc he pick at it sick fuck.

He had piercings bc most of the time has them out due to sports he has snake bites and an eyebrow his ears are double pierced as well.

6’4 hes a pretty beefy guy

Niyleah loves designing clothes so she uses Aaron as a mannequin for masculine and feminine clothing Aaron actually enjoys it

Lily loves doing his make up when hes over at her house. He loves it

He has a major side eye problem.

Always has a judgemental face like for no reason at all so the friend group is like “boy whats your problem like do you wanna fight or sum?!”

He gets major heartburn for no reason.

He pierced lilys belly button for her bc he mom wouldn’t let her go do it professionally done and she asked aaron to do it he was like okay🤷🏽‍♀️

“Nigga what..🤨” says when he’s confused asf

He randomly will catch someone in a ‘bofa deez nuts joke’ and has a stupid grin after telling them alway get lily in them

and her face goes 😄..😀..😐 “stfu aaron.”

He likes to crochet.

Likes teaching little kids to say shit they’re not supposed to

Always has weird socks

He wears rings

Silver jewelry

hates algae/slime it makes him want to throw up.

Lily asked him if he was more interested in aphmau bc she was hitting on him after they found out they where close friends and he was like “oh girl no..” with 😟 face.

He loves princess Disney movies like oh lord wanna watch everyone with him then sit your ass down and you better know the words to the songs.

He’s actually so unorganized to normal ppl bit to him hes like “ITS RIGHT THERE OMG” like its bad

Hes a reader(romance and horror)

He has a studder sometimes like when hes talking about something he enjoys and stutters bc of how fast he talking.

Has scars on his arms from being pushed into a black berry bush in middle school by Logan.

Hes deathly allergic to blueberrys.

He knows morse code

He has very long eyelashes

He has a big birth mark on his stomach thats really light compared to his skin.

He bites his nails

If he sees someone’s elbow on the table hell flip just bc his mom made it a habit not to put elbows on the table.

I have more but ill keep it just with this!