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#Illinois Math
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You could rent a u-haul truck and drive that! Costs way less too.
I was curious because I hear this a lot online as like a travel hack. So at $19.95/day for a pickup truck or cargo van, plus a rate of $0.69 per mile, a four day trip plus driving from Chicago to Indianapolis and back would cost about $317.16 (although realistically more if I choose to drive around town while I'm there, it was just simpler math to only factor in driving there and driving back), while renting from Hertz would cost $264.43 (with the AAA discount). Hertz allows unlimited miles with this rental, and that price includes taxes which I don't believe the u-haul price I calculated does.
I think U-haul would definitely be cheaper in some instances, like I'd rather rent a U-haul the next time Ikea refuses to ship me a bookshelf, but for this long of a trip I don't think it really works out
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vermillioncrown · 2 years
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pretty sure your snare trap has math for cheese
you'd think so. i thought so, too--but no one talks to me about the actual math from my fanfic (me getting hurt feelings from everyone fixating on 'bruce wayne batman dating' rather than chasing the 'data regression' -> 'fast fourier transform' -> 'dick grayson is a former mathlete about to read korvin to filth', but i fucking did it to myself and know it)
actual math/stem people more knowledgeable than me take one look and go "lmao poser" and ignore it
laymen read my fic and don't care beyond the spectacle
i think the math acts like a filter. you either vibe w my processes (which cannot be separated from how i write) or you [x] immediately
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supportingeducation · 2 years
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Illinois Youth Write Sex-Ed Handbook
Fed Up With Incomplete Courses, Illinois Youth Write Sex-Ed Handbook
Illinois youth have taken sexual health education into their own hands with a group-written handbook. “Shattering the Taboo” is the title of a sex education handbook written by a coalition of Chicago students, meant to help de-stigmatize teaching what teenagers need to know about their bodies, their choices, and their options. The Sex Ed Initiative (SEI), which wrote the book, is a youth-led…
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Imagine an election night scenario in which a presidential candidate wins only 12 states but wins the election because those states delivered the requisite 270 Electoral College votes.
Just do the math:
California (54)
Texas (40)
Florida (30)
New York (28)
Pennsylvania (19)
Illinois (19)
Ohio (17)
Georgia (16)
Michigan (15)
North Carolina (16)
New Jersey (14)
Virginia (13)
That’s 281 electoral votes, enough to secure the presidency at the expense of the remaining 38 states. Worth noting: 38 is the minimum number of states required to ratify an amendment to the U.S. Constitution. But you need only those 12 to win the presidency.
Unlikely? Of course. But someday? Why not?
The scenario underscores one criticism of the Electoral College: It allows candidates to focus on a few key states rather than campaigning across the entire country. We do that now. They’re called swing states. [...]
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gigabyte-flare · 1 year
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He Comes Alive (Part 1)
Summary: Dropping out of college and moving back in with your parents is embarrassing when you live in a small town, where news and rumors spread fast. You have a chance encounter with a man that just moved into town, not realizing your life is about to get a lot more exciting.
Word Count: 3k
Pairing: vampire/plagas!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader (afab)
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Actions depicted in this story are not condoned in real life. You are responsible for your own content consumption. If any of the following warnings trigger you, please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact, this story is 18+ only.
Warnings: Biting, blood, gore, murder, unprotected p in v, masterbation, oral (m and f receiving), stalking, pet names, implied kidnapping, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT [More warnings may be added in future entries]
A/N: It was only a matter of time before I did a vampire au. I wanted to do a twist on Las Plagas where it turns people into vampires, also I was very much inspired by @nexysworld's vampire!Leon bot (which is excellent huehuehue). This fic takes place in the late 1980s, so canon stuff is completely thrown out the window so if that's not your thing, kindly move along.
Oakvale is a fictional town nestled in the heart of New Hampshire's White Mountain region and based heavily on my own experience growing up in small town New England. Shout out to my fellow New Englanders! 🥰
A quick reminder that I no longer do tag lists
Title inspired by Jason performed by The Midnight
Line break Divider by cafekitsune
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You stand at the end of the walkway leading up to your childhood home in Oakvale, New Hampshire, holding your luggage in one hand. You take deep breaths, preparing yourself for a nasty welcome home. You can still hear your father’s rage filled voice from your phone call a few days prior. You had decided to drop out of college. You were failing your classes and you couldn’t cope with hectic college life. Your mom, on the other hand, while disappointed in your decision, understood that this was your choice and that you were an adult now.
You had gone to college at the University of Illinois majoring in accounting under your father’s strict guidance in hopes that you would graduate and then run the finances for his car repair business. He was only going to help pay for college if you majored in accounting, so you had agreed begrudgingly. You were terrible at math and hated working with numbers, it was no wonder you were struggling.
You collect your thoughts, exhale loudly and approach the front door, wheeling your luggage behind you. You stand before the front door, giving it a few light knocks. You hear movement inside the house and the sound of your mother yelling down that she is coming. The front door opens and you’re greeted with your mother’s smiling face; a very welcome sight, beating the alternative.
“Sweetheart!” your mom exclaims, wrapping her arms around you, “how was your flight?”
“It was alright, I was able to sleep most of the way,” you reply as your mom leads you into the house. 
You glance into the living room as you walk into the house, seeing your father watching the weather channel. He won’t even look at you or acknowledge you. Your mom sees the distress in your face. She stands in front of you, grasping your arms gently.
“Pay him no mind, sweetie, I’ve given him strict instructions to not talk about college with you. Give him time, he’ll get over it,” your mom lets go, continuing to lead you to your bedroom, “he needs to understand that you are an adult and can make your own decisions. He knew going into this that you hated math, it’s his own fault for pushing you so hard.”
You're comforted by your mother’s words as the two of you reach the precipice of your bedroom. She opens the door for you and you are met with your childhood bedroom, exactly how you left it before you went off to college three years ago: floral bedding, light pastel pink walls, matching white furniture and boy band posters and polaroids of you and your friends attached to the walls. You make a mental note to redecorate, but that can wait until later. 
Later that evening, you join your parents in the dining room for dinner. Your Mother made your favorite: pasta in tomato sauce with kielbasa, squash and zucchini. Despite the fact it was late September, the family garden was still providing fresh vegetables. At first, you all eat in silence; you don’t dare make eye contact with your father. He seems to be too absorbed in the newspaper anyway. After agonizing minutes of silence, your father finally speaks to you for the first time since you came home.
“I got you a job at the gas station, you start Monday.”
You stop mid-bite, looking at your father dumbfounded before glancing at your mother, who smiles at you. He’s referring to the one gas station in town, just on the edge of town leading to the highway.
“Th-Thank you, Dad… that’s very kind of you…” you say before continuing your meal.
All the while, you hear the TV that’s still on in the living room, playing the news, “Fish and Game is still searching for 25 year old Alicia Walker, who hasn’t been seen since Wednesday when she told her family she’d be hiking up Mt. Lafayette--”
“Oh dear… they still haven’t found that hiker, Mick?” your mom says, looking over at your father.
Your father shakes his head in dismay, “nope. Seems to be happening a lot lately, that’s the third hiker in about a month, too.”
“Hikers are going missing?” you chime in before chewing your food.
“Unfortunately. That’s what happens when you go hiking in the Notch unprepared. Promise me you’ll never hike alone,” your father says to you in a stern tone.
“Of course, Dad, I’m not stupid.”
“Good,” your father replies with a nod before he continues eating, “pasta’s delicious Sandi.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
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The weekend goes by in a flash and, before you know it, it’s Monday; your first day at your new job at the gas station. It’s an easy enough job, just working the cash register as people come in to buy things and get gasoline for their vehicles. What your father had failed to tell you, however, is that he got you the late shift: 6:00pm to midnight. The day shift person, an older woman named Peggy, who also trained you briefly, let you know that police officers often stop in at night to check on things, giving you some comfort. Oakvale wasn’t a bad town by any means, but this gas station was also close to the highway; anyone could come in.
That is made apparent when the chief of police himself stops in around 10:00pm, Chief Robert Dion, but most people in town just call him Chief Bob or just Chief. He was a burly man with a large mustache that he used wax to curl the ends; he almost looks like a cartoon character. His hair and beard are starting to show his old age. You recall he’s a nice man; you smile at him from behind the cash register as he walks through the door.
“Chief Bob! Long time no see!”
“Well, hey there little lady! Mick told me you were working at the gas station now! When did you get back into town?”
“Friday afternoon. I’m… not cut out for college, I guess…” you reply, your tone becoming morose.
“Hey! Don’t get down! Take some time to yourself and try again.” he says, leaning up against the counter on one arm. 
“Thanks Chief. What’s the latest gossip in town? I’m sure I’ve missed a ton in three years.”
“Mostly about those missing hikers. I’m sure you heard--”
The sudden roar of a motorcycle cuts him off as a Harley Davidson motorcycle pulls up to one of the pumps outside before cutting the power. You watch from your peripheral vision as the driver gets off the bike. You draw your attention back to Chief Bob.
“As I was saying… I’m sure you heard about the missing hikers.”
You nod, “yeah, it was on the news when we were having dinner on Friday.”
You hear the electronic chime on the door go off as someone walks in and that’s when your eyes settle on what is quite possibly the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in your life. Tall, with short blonde hair and blue eyes, wearing a leather jacket with worn denim jeans and work boots. Chief Bob moves out of the way to let the man come to the register. Your heart can’t help but race in your chest as your eyes are locked on the man.
“Can I get $5 on pump uh…” the man leans to look out the window at the number of the pump he parked at outside, “four?”
“S-Sure, of course! $5 please,” you reply, kicking yourself internally for stuttering. 
The man pulls his wallet out from his back pocket, setting down a five dollar bill. Your eyes drift to his hands to check to see if he’s wearing a wedding band on his left ring finger; you don’t see one. Shifting your gaze back up, you see that his eyes are suddenly locked on yours; he gives you a playful smirk and winks before he turns to walk out.
“You’re out awfully late,” Chief Bob says to the man as he walks by.
“Had some errands to run. Take care Chief,” the man replies before walking back outside to fill his bike.
Your eyes are once again locked on the man before Chief Bob’s voice draws your attention back, “I think that’s the guy that bought ol’ Archie Mason’s place about a month ago.”
Archie Mason. Now that’s a name you haven’t heard in a while. You knew him as Mr. Mason, a curmudgeon of a man that lived on a dead end road in the woods by himself in town. As kids, you’d dare each other to go to his house, knock on his front door and see who could run the fastest before getting caught. Mr. Mason hated children.
“When did Mr. Mason die?” you ask as you get the $5 bill the handsome man gave you into the cash register. 
“I think… two years ago? The house finally went through probate and was sold. That guy moved in and has been fixing it up ever since. Usually see him at Rocky’s.”
Rocky’s is a hardware store in Oakvale, a popular spot for all the younger and middle aged men in town, right up there with Moe’s bar, which was conveniently right next door to the hardware store. You hear Chief Bob talking to you still, but you can’t focus. Instead, your attention is on the mystery man pumping gas into his motorcycle, your heart all aflutter.
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You wake up around 9:30am Wednesday morning, shuffling over to your closet to put on some clothes. Afterwards, you go into the bathroom to fix your hair, brush your teeth and put your makeup on. All the while, you can hear your father hard at work in the garage on someone’s car through the various open windows in the house. You decide to pay him a visit after you get yourself put together.
You go outside, walking over to the adjacent auto repair shop, stopping to glance up at the sign hanging off the building: Mick’s Auto Repair. Every business in town had this unspoken rule that their business had to have their name in it; Mick’s Auto Repair, Rocky’s Hardware, Moe’s Bar and Grille, Sally’s Sew Shop, just to name a few. You continue walking, walking into the shop through the open garage door.
“Hey Dad!” you call out, looking around before seeing your father’s legs sticking out from under the car he’s working on. 
You watch as he rolls out from under the car, his face, clothing and hands covered in oil stains. He looks up at you, his eyes squinting from the sun leaking into the garage. 
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks.
“You didn’t tell me Mr. Mason had died.”
“Oh… yeah… died in his sleep. The old fart was 92. Didn’t really come as a shock to anyone.” your dad replies, rolling himself back under the car.
“Do you know anything about the guy that bought the house?” you continue to pry, crossing your arms as you look down, addressing your father’s feet. 
“Yeah, his name’s Leon, I think. Moved in from D.C. if I heard right. What about him?”
“Oh… nothing… he came into the gas station the other night…” you reply, your voice trailing out as the butterflies stir up in your gut thinking about him.
Leon… that suits him, you think to yourself. 
“Now don’t you go getting any ideas, the last thing you need right now, young lady, is to be distracted by some boy. He’s too old for you anyway-- oh fuck!” your father curses as you hear something snap from under the car, rolling back out with a broken wrench in his hand.
“That’s not good,” you comment, watching as your father shoots you a glare. 
He lets out a frustrated sigh, “can you run over to Rocky’s real quick and get me another one? I’d go but I’m caked in oil. Don’t need Rock yelling at me for tracking oil into his store again. I’ll pay you back.”
“Sure, no problem! I’ll be right back!” you say, heading back into the house to grab your purse from your bedroom. 
You grab the broken wrench from your father so you make sure to get the right one and head out. The hardware store is about a 15 minute walk from your house, so you decide to just walk, enjoying the crisp hair and sun of early fall. Coming upon Rocky’s Hardware, you step inside, a bell hanging off the door ringing as you walk in. 
“Well, well, well! If it isn’t Mick’s little girl! How’s it going, sweetheart?” Rocky says from the cash register. 
Rocky is another older man, medium build with a head full of gray hair and a big, bushy gray mustache.
“Hey Rocky!” you reply as you pull your father’s broken wrench from your purse, “Dad broke another wrench, sent me to get another one for him.”
“Jesus… they don’t make them like they used to, do they? Aisle 6 dear, on the left.” Rocky says, gesturing into the store.
“Thanks Rock,” you say before proceeding to the aisle in question; however, when you turn to walk down the aisle, you stop dead in your tracks.
Leon, the man from the gas station the other night, is standing in the aisle looking at hardware, which is on the opposite side of the tools. You stand there, staring at him like an idiot, your heart pounding in your throat. As if sensing your presence, the man turns to you, giving you that same smirk from the other night.
“You’re that cute girl from the gas station,” he says; it wasn’t a question, it was a statement.
He remembered you. He also called you cute, making your stomach twist in anxiety. 
“Y-Yeah…” you manage to say before working up the courage to walk into the aisle to look at the tools.
Leon’s eyes stay on you as you approach, watching as you draw your attention to the tools.
“What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a hardware store?” he asks playfully, you can hear him smirking as he moves to stand next to you.
“Oh… my Dad broke his wrench. He asked me to get him another one.” you reply, trying desperately not to let your nerves get the better of you as you show Leon the broken wrench. 
“Oh dear! Let’s see…” Leon starts as he looks up at all the different tools, reaching up to grab one of the wrenches hanging off the display, “this one looks like the same wrench, here you go.”
Leon hands you the new wrench, his fingers lightly caressing yours as he pulls his hand away, a gesture that is not missed by you. You feel your cheeks flush as you tuck the broken wrench back into your purse.
“Thank you mister…?”
“The name’s Leon Kennedy. But please, just call me Leon.” he replies, making eye contact with you, “what’s your name?”
You pause for a moment before you practically stutter your name out. You watch as Leon smiles at you, his eyes taking you in as he looks up and down at you.
“That is a lovely name,” he says, the compliment hitting you straight into your core; you feel your panties become slick.
“Th-Thank you… you have a nice name, too.”
Leon gives you a gentle pat on your shoulder, “I gotta go pay for my stuff. Hopefully we can see more of each other, yeah?”
You stare at him in awe for a moment before nodding, “Yes! I… I’d like that, too…”
He gives you a wink before he turns to walk out of the aisle and up to the cash register, where you hear him make small talk with Rocky. You are frozen in place in a desperate attempt to calm yourself down. You wait until you hear the bell on the door ring before you go up to the register to pay for the new wrench. 
You couldn’t get home fast enough, your entire being a bundle of nerves. Once you get home, you walk through the open garage door to give your father the wrench. You find he’s not in the garage, so you walk back into the house, only to find him standing in front of the TV in the living room, watching the news.
“Dad, I got the wrench--” you begin to say as you cut yourself off, seeing there’s a breaking news report playing on the TV, “what’s wrong?”
Your father turns to you, his look is forlorn, “another hiker went missing, they were last seen Monday.”
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That night, after getting home from your shift at the gas station, you toss and turn in bed, unable to get comfortable. You can’t get Leon off your mind. Tossing your comforter off you, you lay on your back, propping your legs up and spread them as your right hand dips under the hem of your underwear, your fingers finding your clit to rub slow circles into it.
As you lose yourself to your own pleasure you moan Leon’s name softly, closing your eyes to picture the way his beautiful blue eyes looked up and down your body earlier today, the way his jeans hugged his slender hips. You could almost smell his leather jacket. Your fingers pick up the pace on your clit, causing your hips to buck into your fingers as you chase your high, biting your lip to stop yourself from moaning loudly. 
You turn your head towards your windows, slowly opening your eyes, only for your breath to be caught in your throat as you spot a pair of glowing red eyes peering into your window. You watch as the eyes suddenly dart away from the window, thumping sounds quickly following. You quickly pull your hand out from your underwear and practically jump out of bed to your window, throwing it open to look out. You look around, seeing nothing in the darkness. Your bedroom is on the second floor, it couldn’t have been a person. People don’t have glowing red eyes.
You take deep breaths, realizing your thoughts are only psyching yourself out. It was just your imagination in the heat of you getting yourself off, you decide, before you shut your window, locking it. Just in case. You walk back over to your bed, collapsing into it, your arousal having been scared out of you, so you quickly drift off to sleep.
Part 2
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1968 [Chapter 11: Hephaestus, God Of Fire]
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A/N: Only 1 chapter left!!! 🥰💜
Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.
Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.
Word Count: 5.4k
Let me know if you’d like to be tagged! 🥰
💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜
Here is our final interlude. Do you have the patience?
President Lyndon Baines Johnson has halted all U.S. attacks on North Vietnam: no bombs from the air, no infantry on the ground, no artillery shells launched by destroyers cruising in the South China Sea. The election will determine what happens next. If Nixon wins, military operations will resume until the South Vietnamese are in a sufficiently advantageous position to defend themselves from the communists. If Aemond is the victor, troop withdrawals will begin shortly after he is inaugurated on January 20th.
Regardless, it will not be until almost a full year from now, in October of 1969, that it becomes illegal for employers to reserve positions for men; the common practice of refusing to hire women with preschool-aged children will not be outlawed until 1971. Unmarried people will not be guaranteed access to contraception until 1972. Abortion will not be legalized across all fifty states until 1973. Women will not have a right to their own bank accounts or credit cards until 1974. It will not be illegal to exclude women from juries until 1975. The first female Supreme Court justice, Sandra Day O’Connor, will be appointed in 1981. There will be no female president of the United States, not for at least half a century after our story ends.
Each night on CBS Evening News, Walter Cronkite recaps the latest poll numbers. Nixon appears to have a slight advantage, due in large part to pulling ahead in Florida, Illinois, Ohio, and his home state of California. Aemond has comfortable leads in Texas, Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey. George Wallace will likely sweep the Deep South: Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Arkansas. From their hovels, the racists rejoice. From her grave, Lurleen Wallace rests uneasily, scratching at the lid of her coffin with the bones of her fingers, entombed in dark oblivion like all the rest of the world’s discarded wives.
~~~~~~~~~~
You go for the door, but Aemond is faster; he catches you just as your hand is twisting the handle and the hinges creak. He throws you against the wall so hard the paintings rattle: replicas of Monets and Warhols, Almond Blossoms, The Birth of Venus. You fight, clawing at him, ripping off the eyepatch that Alys must have at last convinced him was no defeat to wear. The hollow, gore-colored abyss of his left eye socket beckons you to fall in and be burned: Hestia’s eternal hearth, the volcanic forge of Hephaestus. He’s fire all the way down, hunger and fury, bones charred black and brittle. You think of the uninhabitable furnace of Jupiter’s moon Io, lethal radiation, poisoned air, lava bubbling up like blood through a bullet wound.
“You can’t hit me,” you gasp. “You need me for photos—”
His knuckles are in your belly, crosshairs made of scar tissue. The air collapses out of your lungs; your vision dims like twilight, like an eclipse. You’re on the floor and trying to crawl away from him. Aemond’s fingers hook into the fabric of your robe; it matches the silk nightgown you wear beneath, a pale anemic pink, something soft and young and desireless, something eternally at others’ mercy, something to be guarded or gutted. He’s dragging you towards him.
He’s going to hit me again, he might even kill me.
“Stop, stop,” you plead, still struggling to breathe. “What if I’m pregnant?!”
You almost certainly can’t be, but Aemond doesn’t know that. Yet his lone eye glints like metal, like coins, no weak mortal compassion. “I would have no way of being sure it was mine.” And then he tries to cover your mouth as you scream for help. You bite at his fingers; your bare feet kick the wall. Your hair, long and loose and wild, flows around you like a bride’s veil.
Too late, Aemond realizes that the door is still open a crack from when you grabbed the handle. There are footsteps and a voice that crescendos as it approaches: “What on earth is going on in here…?” Fosco appears in the threshold, yellow tweed jacket, tight olive green trousers. He stares thunderstruck down at where you and Aemond are entangled on the floor.
You beg: “Fosco, help me.”
“No, no, no,” Fosco says, jolting from his paralysis and holding a hand out towards Aemond. “No, you cannot do this, whatever has happened, you cannot touch her like—”
“She’s not your wife,” Aemond says. She’s not your property. Fosco hesitates; his large dark eyes shifting between the two of you from behind his glasses.
“Aemond, brother, listen to—”
“Get out.” Aemond’s voice is low, searing, malignant.
“Fosco, please don’t leave me,” you whimper. You try to pry Aemond’s fingers off your robe; they dig in deeper, bruising the flesh underneath. “Don’t leave me, don’t let him hurt me.”
Abruptly, Fosco turns and sprints out of the room.
“No!” you shout after him before Aemond grabs your face, his hand like a claw, fingernails leaving half-moon indents in your cheeks, crushing pressure on your jaw.
“You’re trying to sabotage this campaign.”
“I didn’t see the reporters, I swear to God.”
He knocks the back of your skull against the wall so hard that you see momentary flashes like stars, that all the words vanish from your throat, that words cease to exist at all. “You’re a traitor. Do you know the penalty for treason? The U.S. Army would have you executed by firing squad. Zeus would chain you to a rock so your liver could be carved out.”
“You betrayed me first,” you hiss through clenched teeth, your head pounding hot and maroon.
“I have been working for this since before you were born. You can’t take it away from me. I won’t let you.”
“I did everything right and you still couldn’t love me.” You swing at Aemond and he catches your wounded hand, squeezes it, digs his thumb into the spot where the doctors stitched you closed. The pain is excruciating, incapacitating. You wail as scarlet flowers bloom through the white of your bandaged palm.
Now the door flies open again and Aegon collides with Aemond, sends him sprawling, crouches over you. He’s screaming something at Aemond, gripping your shoulder to keep you under him, his too-long hair hanging in his face, black turtleneck sweater, one of Daeron’s frayed army jackets thrown over it, ripped jeans, bare feet. Aemond grabs his brother by the lapel of his army jacket and draws back his fist. His golden wedding ring flashes in the grey November sunlight that streams in through the windows. Aegon doesn’t flinch. He’s taken knuckles to the face before; you remember cleaning blood off his skin under a streetlight in Biloxi, you remember not wanting to wash him away.
“Don’t you see what it will look like?!” Fosco is saying, trying to coax Aemond to relent. “If he is photographed with a busted face after that story comes out? If she has bruises or a black eye? By harming them you are confirming what your enemies have printed, and the voters will believe it is the truth.”
“They already know it’s true!” Aemond snatches the Wall Street Journal off the table and hurls it at Fosco. Then he paces back and forth through the room, glaring at where you are still crumpled on the floor, sobbing, cradling your bleeding hand to your chest. “It’s right there, three goddamn photographs, and that’s all it will take to bring down a lifetime of work!”
Fosco studies the pictures again, shaking his head, one hand covering his mouth. At last he offers weakly: “It could be worse, Aemond.”
“How could it be worse?!”
Aegon scrambles to Fosco to rip the newspaper out of his hands, then returns to you. He hasn’t seen the front-page story yet. He skims it frantically. “This? This is what you’re losing your mind over? It’s dark, it’s blurry, they can’t even see what’s going on!”
“I have one fucking eye and I can see it!”
“So come up with another explanation, this doesn’t prove anything.”
“If she costs me the election—”
“If you lose, it won’t be because of her!” Aegon roars back. “It will be because the Democrats have held the White House for eight years and the world has gone to hell on our watch, it will be because of Kennedy, and Johnson, and Vietnam and the riots and the hippies and the drugs and the assassinations, it will be because Nixon is promising law and order in a time when nobody is safe, it will be because you just weren’t good enough. But she has given more to your cause than anyone. You hit her and you’ll lose your other eye.”
“They were in conversation,” Fosco says, meaning the photos. The four of you know that’s not true; it is a lie for the rest of the world, it is hope for Aemond’s campaign. “On the beach. They were whispering, comforting each other. Because of Mimi. That is all.”
Aemond scoffs, his remaining eye fierce and wrathful as it lands on you again. Aegon grips your shoulder, still crouching over you, still shielding you. “You bitch. I should have left you at that party in Manhattan to be the dope-smoking whore you were when I found you.”
“I shouldn’t have helped save your life in Palm Beach.”
And Aemond blinks at you, not hurt but bewildered, like he doesn’t understand your words, like what you said is impossible. He doesn’t believe you saved him. He believes it was God’s will.
Otto storms into the hotel room and takes in the scene: you and Aegon on the floor, Aemond pacing furiously, Fosco attempting to mediate. “Nobody says anything,” Otto commands, deep booming voice, black suit like he’s going to a funeral. “The Wall Street Journal hates Aemond. Everyone knows that, they’re probably the only national publication that would run the story. Our newspapers are already pushing the counternarrative, that this was a shameful, deceitful, desperate attempt to discredit Aemond right before the election. Our supporters will insist upon an innocent explanation. Nixon’s will use the photos as evidence of our degeneracy, our amorality, us immigrants with our strange faith and our progressive politics. Everyone else in the country will be warring over this headline. We will say nothing. We will conduct business as usual. The best thing we can do now is go out there and keep our schedule as planned.” He looks meaningfully at Aemond. “And your wife must be at your side. Smiling, unscathed, devoted.”
“I lost my composure,” Aemond says to you, more collected now, businesslike. He is smoothing any wrinkles out of his suit jacket. “I was wrong to put my hands on you. I apologize for that. It was beneath me.”
You reply: “Very little is beneath you, I’ve learned.”
“You have been.” A trace of a grin, crooked and cruel. “Plenty of times. And you will be again.”
Aegon is watching is brother, seething but terrified, sheltering you with power that is only illusory, never real. It is a mirage that Aemond or Otto could punch through at any moment. It is glass that would shatter into crystalline dust.
“If I win, you will beg on your knees for forgiveness,” Aemond tells you. “You will beg in private, you will be perfection in public, and I will magnanimously overlook this indiscretion in which you were taken advantage of by my notoriously dissolute brother. There was no affair. There was a fleeting moment of weakness on your part and depravity on Aegon’s. We will put it in the past. I will be the president of the United States and you will be my first lady. You will spend every second of your existence in service of my career, my country, and my legacy. You will give me children. You will obey me entirely. And you and Aegon will never be in a room alone together for the rest of your lives.”
“You can’t keep me away from her,” Aegon says.
“I just did. I make the rules here, I am the heir to this empire. If you wanted that responsibility, you should have seized it. You squandered it, you cursed it. It’s mine now.”
A whisper: “Aemond, it’ll kill me.”
“Then have the dignity to die quietly. It will be the most useful thing you’ve ever done.”
“Aegon must be seen in public too,” Fosco says, trying to sound like he isn’t defending him. “If you appear to be punishing or excluding him, it will be used as evidence of his guilt.”
Aemond nods, then turns to his brother. “As soon as the election is called, whichever way it goes, I want you gone. I don’t care where you go. I don’t care what happens to you once you’re there. You will disappear. We will say it was your choice, and if you comply you can keep your children and receive a modest amount of severance pay to get you started. And as long as you abide by my terms, my wife will not be harmed.”
Aegon doesn’t reply. His large Atlantic-blue eyes glisten, his lips tremble, his hand is still on your shoulder. You think through the throbbing pain of your bleeding palm: Is this the last time he’ll ever touch me?
Otto grabs Aegon, wrenches him away from you, drags him yowling and clawing at the carpet through the doorway.
~~~~~~~~~~
Your hand is freshly bandaged, pristine white gauze that people in the crowd jostle to touch like the relic of a saint, to pray over, to kiss. Men tell you how brave you are to bear the pain without weeping. Women give you komboskini, stained not with their husband’s blood but with only the clean, colorless ether of hope, faith, reverence, love.
Fosco and Helaena have been dispatched to accompany the children on a tour of the Franklin Institute, one of the oldest centers of science education in the nation. Aemond is giving a speech in front of the Liberty Bell at Independence Hall. You and the others are arranged around him like a starving crescent moon. You are standing immediately on Aemond’s left side, Aegon placed at his right. He looks drunk, he looks drugged; you aren’t sure if anyone else can tell, but you can. His cheeks are flushed. His eyes are pools of murky, desolate indigo like the night sky between stars. A few attendees give the two of you curious glances, but no mention is made of the accusations in the Wall Street Journal. You get the sense that if someone took it upon themselves to ask a question on the subject, they would be jeered, reviled, banished like President Johnson, who is currently besieged in the White House by the ghosts of Vietnam.
When you look to Aemond, you see his scar, his prosthetic eye, fierce and stoic determination in the lines of his face. He is quoting the inscription on the bell: “Proclaim liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof…” The bronze metal has a crack in it like one of Zeus’s lightning bolts. The smile on your face is frozen, demure, humble. Aegon’s eyes accidentally catch on yours—a childlike vulnerability, a deep raw woundedness—and then swiftly dart away.
“America is the Land of Opportunity, but some have forgotten that,” Aemond says into the microphone, and vengeance creeps into his voice like a spider up a wall. “Unfortunately, for as long as new communities have arrived at our shores, vile and prejudiced lies have been used to demonize them. Greek immigrants have been crossing the Atlantic for over a century. In 1909, rioters violently expelled them from Omaha, Nebraska. In 1922, an anti-Greek initiative was launched by the Ku Klux Klan. In 1924, Congress drastically restricted my people’s entry in favor of migrants from Northwestern European nations like Britain and Germany. Greeks have been condemned as unintelligent, immoral, and unworthy of the glorious opportunities of this country. We have been barred from jobs and universities, we have been used as cannon fodder in the World Wars. Discrimination against any group is antithetical to the American Dream. I have given an eye for this nation, my wife has bled for it, my brother has—even in the midst of personal tragedy—uprooted his life and the lives of his children to fight alongside me for a better America, and I will not stand by silently as the Targaryen name is tarnished by bigoted falsehoods…”
Now you can no longer hear him over the thunder of the applause, and you remember all the other faces in all those other cities, their eyes illuminated as if by fire, as if by the sun. You imagine devotees of the Greek gods bowing low in temples of white marble and flickering torches, bringing offerings of gold and livestock, grain and blood, murmuring prayers, bargaining for miracles. Did the gods hear them? Do the gods love anyone but themselves?
Alicent and Criston are watching you and Aegon with the same eyes: large, dark, shimmering, a curious combination of horror and profound sympathy. You can feel yourself becoming a ghost, a legend, a myth. One day people will read about you in textbooks and academic journals, in plaques erected at Aemond’s alma mater, Columbia University, and your own, Manhattanville College; and they will know only the fabled version of you. Who you really were will fade into nothingness like Echo, like Icarus into the waves, like Eurydice when her lover Orpheus dared to glimpse back at her.
That night in your penthouse suite at the Ritz-Carlton, you get out of the bathtub—dewy with steam, donning your pink robe—and then go to your side of the king-sized bed and slide open the top drawer of the nightstand. The card Aegon gave you at Mount Sinai isn’t there. Your heartbeat quickens; your stomach lurches.
“What…?”
You get down on your knees to reach into the back of the drawer, to see if the card has snagged somewhere. You hear footsteps and whirl to see Aemond standing in the doorway between the bedroom and the living room. He is holding the card. The cartoon cow beams jubilantly at you. You recall what Aegon wrote inside after crossing out the manufacturer’s message: I thought this was blank…congrats on the new calf! As your eyes widen, Aemond rips the card down the middle.
“Don’t!” you scream, rushing for him. “Please don’t, it’s all I have from—!”
Aemond shoves you back and then, with a grin more like a wolf baring its teeth, tears through the remnants again and again until the card is nothing but shreds. He opens the sliding glass door that leads out onto the balcony and throws them into the cold night wind, where they scatter in a flurry like snowflakes, like bones turned to splinters by cluster bombs in the swamps of Vietnam.
The paper fragments spiral down thirty stories towards the zooming headlights on South Broad Street, and you think about following them. Then Aemond pulls you into his arms as frigid air blows through you and whispers: “You don’t need Aegon anymore. You just need me.”
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s Monday, November 4th, and you are walking alongside Ludwika on Broadway in Astoria, Queens, the part of New York City known as Greektown. She chats about the modelling jobs she did here before meeting Otto, her Louis Vuitton stilettos clicking on the sidewalk, her Camel cigarettes smudged with red Yardley lipstick. It is an act of kindness; she is trying to distract you. A few yards away, Fosco is telling Aegon about how he just won $500 by betting on the NASCAR Peach State 200, held at Jefco Speedway in Georgia. Aegon nods along, preoccupied, miserable. He has dark shadows around his eyes and is smoking one of his Lucky Strikes. He is wearing a green knit cap, windblown curls of his blonde hair escaping from underneath. You’re not supposed to stare at Aegon, but sometimes you can’t help it. You miss him. You’re worried about him.
The Targaryens have suites reserved at the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan, where the family will stay through Election Day to witness the results as they are tallied on the evening news. The children are there now, enjoying pizza from Little Italy with Helaena and the nannies. But you and the other adults are being photographed by flocks of journalists as you head for lunch at one of the oldest Greek diners in the United States, paying homage to Aemond’s ancestry. The candidate himself is locked in a fraught conversation with Otto and Criston: polls gaining here, polls slipping there, Nixon inching further ahead in Florida, the state you were supposed to help Aemond win.
“What should I order?” Ludwika asks you. “Not spinach pie, oh, horrible, worse than Hitler. Something else. Why can’t we go to a Polish restaurant for once? I will take you sometime. You will see. You will try a pierogi and never look back. We invented bagels, you know.”
“Beagles?” Fosco says. “What an accomplishment! They are so cute!”
“Bagels, stupido.”
“Do not bully me. I am suffering too. I should be back at the hotel eating a prosciutto pizza.”
As you pass an electronics shop with stacks of televisions in the windows, all turned to NBC news, the journalists begin to gasp and chatter excitedly amongst themselves. The flashbulbs strobe madly, shutters clicking and reporters shouting for Aemond to give them a comment. The youngest Targaryen brother has appeared on the screens, bruised and gaunt and missing teeth. He looks twenty years older than he is. His once-golden hair is turning white.
Otto sputters: “What…what the hell is that?!”
“Oh my God, Daeron!” Alicent howls, and then bursts into the shop so she can hear what her lost son is saying. The rest of you hurry after her, locking the front door behind you so the journalists can’t follow. Through the windows, they take photographs until Fosco and Ludwika lower the blinds.
Inside the maze of electronics, three adolescent employees gawk at the presidential candidate and his retinue. “Out,” Otto instructs them, and then, when they are too stunned to immediately vacate the premises: “I said, get out!” The teenagers scurry into the backroom and slam the door.
“Daeron,” Alicent moans in front of a Zenith color television. Tears flow torrentially from her huge, horrified eyes. Criston holds her, arms circling, his cheek pressed to hers, and you are reminded of how Aegon touched you in your hotel room in Houston, in his basement at Asteria, on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean.
Daeron is saying: “The United States has committed war crimes in Vietnam. I am ashamed of the actions my country has taken here. We have burned children with napalm, executed innocent civilians, and interfered in matters that we have no legitimate jurisdiction over…”
“He is reading from a script,” Fosco says. “You can see his eyes following the words.”
“Shh,” Otto snaps.
Daeron continues: “The only honorable course of action now is to immediately withdrawal all American soldiers from Vietnam…”
“I think this will help us, actually,” Otto says. “People will know he’s being forced to make propaganda for the communists, and they will have sympathy for him and the family. They’ll want to rescue him and all the other servicemen too. He’s obviously…under duress.”
Aegon drops to his knees and puts his palm against the screen over Daeron’s face, just like the shadows of your fingers once fell over Ari as he fought for his life in an incubator in Mount Sinai Hospital. “Do you see what they’re doing to him?” He turns to Aemond with tears in his eyes. “What you did to him? You left him there, you abandoned him, and now he’s being tortured.”
Alicent looks to Aemond, puzzled, petrified. “You tried to get him out, didn’t you?” Aemond doesn’t answer. Otto averts his gaze, counting the tiles on the floor.
“Dear lord,” Ludwika mutters, lighting a fresh Camel cigarette and puffing on it anxiously.
“Was it worth it?” Aegon demands. “Selling your soul?”
Aemond is steely, resolved. “It’s almost over.”
“You were all right.” Aegon stands, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his green-striped sweater. “I don’t have what it takes to win the presidency. I couldn’t do something like this. Me, the perennial fuckup. Me, the godless degenerate.”
“Aegon,” Alicent whispers. “Please…please don’t…”
He turns to his mother, insurmountably sad. “Mom, I tried to stop him.” Alicent sobs and covers her face with both hands as Criston embraces her. She can’t even look at Aemond. She can’t believe what he’s become. Her long coppery hair flows like blood.
You reach for Aegon, your fingertips brushing his ruddy cheek, and immediately he folds into you, burying his face in the curve of your neck, breathing in your warmth as you inhale his smoke and rum and pain and terror. “Daeron will be home soon,” you say, not knowing if it’s true. Your bandaged hand aches; your throat burns.
“I should have gone instead. It should have been me.”
“No, Aegon. Your children need you, I need you. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”
Then Aemond yanks you away, his grip on your wrist like an anchor, like chains.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Dad, play us something,” Orion says; and it is the first time you can remember him calling Aegon that. Aegon smiles. He’s sitting on one of the couches in the penthouse suite you share with Aemond, the Gibson guitar he bought back in July lying across his lap as he strums it absentmindedly. The television is on and turned to CBS News. It’s just before midnight on Tuesday, November 5th, Election Day. The children are thrilled. It’s the one night they’re allowed to stay up as late as they’re physically able to. This allowance is not purely altruistic; Aemond wants them awake and ready for photographs as soon as the winner is announced.
“What should I play?”
“Frank Sinatra,” Fosco says. He is beside Aegon on the couch, smoking a cigar and flipping through the Sports section of the New York Times, which he’s not really reading.
“Marvin Gaye,” Ludwika suggests. They are both on your side of the room. Aemond, Otto, Sargent Shriver, and a number of campaign staffers are huddled around the television, transfixed by the ever-updating vote totals. Alicent and Criston are between your factions, murmuring back and forth to each other, flutes of golden champagne in their hands. Helaena is on the floor entertaining Violeta, Daphne, and Neaera with Crayolas and coloring books full of scenes from gardens. You recall how eerily calm Helaena had been the night Aemond was shot in Palm Beach, like she somehow already knew he’d survive. Now she is nervous, looking fretfully around the room, wringing her hands, filling outlines of butterflies with ten different shades of blue.
“The Beatles,” Orion tells Aegon, casting Fosco and Ludwika a judgmental teenage glance.
“Any particular song?”
“You can pick.”
Aegon sips at his rum, ice cubes clinking in the glass. He looks over to the coffee table, where you are embroiled in a game of Battleship with Cosmo. He’s getting better; he’s genuinely sunk your destroyer and submarine so far. Then Aegon’s eyes drop to his guitar strings and he plucks the opening notes of In My Life. His voice is soft and low, almost secretive.
“There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain…”
Cosmo turns to watch his father. Orion, Spiro, Thaddeus, and Evangelos are gathered around Aegon’s feet, gazing up at him with admiration, with love.
“All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them all...”
Cheers erupt over by the television; Aemond has just won Michigan. But then tense, indistinct deliberations follow. Florida is still too close to call, a bad omen. You wonder where Alys is as she watches the results come in. There must be some part of her—however small, however smothered—that fears Aemond will win. If he captures the presidency, she could be separated from the man she loves for the better part of a decade. You drink your Pink Squirrel, wishing it was stronger. You think of sea sponge divers down in the depths and imagine what that first gulp of air tastes like when they resurface, when they shed their rubber suits and brass helmets and step back into sunlight, warmth, freedom like Persephone returning from the Underworld each spring.
“But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new…”
You wear a sapphire-colored gown that Aemond chose for you, strings of silver around your wrist and throat, diamond teardrops hanging from your ears. Your hair is up, your fingernails painted a tasteful opalescent shade, the aching of your bandaged hand dulled by booze and Vicodin.
“Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more.”
More triumphant shouts and applause across the room by the television: Aemond has won Washington state. From his own suite at the St. Regis Hotel a few blocks south on 5th Avenue, Nixon’s people must be celebrating that he just secured Ohio’s 26 electoral votes. He needs 270 to be the next president of the United States.
Florida, you think. If Nixon can take Florida, I think he’ll win the whole thing.
As Aemond and Otto are distracted, as Fosco and Ludwika watch with pitying, knowing eyes, Aegon sets his guitar aside and walks by you with his rum in hand, taps your shoulder, disappears onto the balcony. You wait a few minutes—Cosmo wins Battleship and goes to color on the floor with Helaena—and then follow Aegon.
Outside the night sky is moonless, starless, thick with clouds. Rain is beginning to fall, soft hushed pattering. Far below taxis and limousines are still rushing and blowing their horns on West 59th Street. You can see the vast forested shadow of Central Park and streetlights like constellations. In apartments and office buildings, windows are illuminated as Americans sit numbing their fears with beer, wine, shots of liquor, smoldering hand-rolled joints.
Aegon is cross-legged at the ledge, one hand on the iron bars of the railing, staring out at the nightscape of Manhattan. His hair lashes in the cold November wind. His nose is pink, his eyes wet and faraway. He passes his Lucky Strike cigarette to you as you join him and says: “I don’t think Aemond can win without Florida.”
“No,” you agree, taking a drag.
Aegon snatches a rattling orange bottle from the pocket of his olive green army jacket, pops it open, and swallows three pills with a swig of straight rum, dark amber poison.
“Don’t do that,” you say, you plead.
“I need it, babe.”
“I want you to still be alive in ten years.”
Aegon smiles and reaches over to pat your cheek twice. “I think that ship might have sailed, little Io.” Can decades of self-destruction be undone, uninflicted, nullified like Heracles becoming immortal? Can the Underworld be escaped? “Come with me. No matter what happens tonight.”
“Aegon, I can’t.”
“I’m in love with you.”
“If I leave, he’ll hurt you. He’ll hurt me worse.”
“It’s not fair,” Aegon says, his voice breaking.
“Nothing is.”
There is an uproar inside the hotel room, screams that could be horror or triumph, realized dreams, breaking bones, bullets through flesh. You and Aegon are on your feet, hauling the balcony door open, stepping through the threshold into the rest of your lives.
Glasses are being toasted until champagne rains down onto the carpet. The telephone is ringing so Nixon can concede. On CBS News, Walter Cronkite is reporting that Aemond has won Florida and thereby accumulated 270 electoral votes. The blue text on the screen reads: Senator Targaryen will be the 37th president of the United States.
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mashbrainrot · 1 year
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Henry Blake in 'The Interview'
In 2006, Larry Gelbart wrote dialogue imagining Trapper, Henry Blake, and Colonel Flagg had featured in the M*A*S*H episode 'The Interview'. Here is Henry's, with the original available to read here via Google Groups.
REPORTER: How does it feel, having the responsibility for saving such a great number of lives? HENRY: We just take ’em one or two, sometimes maybe twenty at a time. The big trick is not to start thinking of ’em as numbers – as just so many stats that go into a report that winds up in somebody’s filing cabinet under “out of sight, out of mind.” You’ve gotta always remember that what you’re dealing with is hurt people, people that have been run over by a war. REPORTER: And not just – HENRY: You gotta remember to take a peek at the odd dog tag now and then and remind yourself that that dangling leg or busted gut you’re going to try and put back together again is somebody’s dad or son or boyfriend – that all that blood and guts soiling your linen belongs to somebody that’s got a name attached to him.
REPORTER: You can’t afford to lose your sense of humanity. HENRY: There’s just so many senses you can lose over here. REPORTER: Humor not being one of them, obviously. HENRY: Around here laughter’s just crying without the tears. REPORTER: You have a family back home, sir? HENRY: In Bloomington. The one in Illinois, not in Indiana – unless things have changed since I went away. REPORTER: You keep in touch with them, of course, your family. HENRY: We write, we phone. Far apart as we are, I don’t think we’ve ever been closer. REPORTER: Would you like to say hello to them on television? HENRY: Be better if this was kissovision, but, yeah, can I? REPORTER: Go right ahead. HENRY: Lorraine? Hi, honey. Hi, kids. I got your report cards this morning and I had Radar go out post ’em on the bulletin board here so everybody can see why I’m so darn proud of you. Especially how you’re doing in math. You must get those brains from your mom. Got to be. Old as I am, I still don’t know how many tens to give someone for a five-dollar bill. (TO REPORTER) Thanks. REPORTER: That it? HENRY: That’s it. (TO CAMERA) Except I’m counting the days till we’re back together again. REPORTER: You have any idea when that will be? HENRY: I try not to have too many ideas. There’s always someone who ranks you who’s sure you’ll agree he’s got a better one. REPORTER: When you do finally get home, what are you going to tell your children is the biggest lesson being over here has taught you? HENRY: To always try to work things out, I guess. Whatever those things might happen to be. You don’t make your point killing the other guy. Even if you do it’s kind of wasted if the other guys not around to get the message. REPORTER: You seem – if all may so, Colonel – you seem near exhaustion. HENRY: What I am mostly is tired of being tired. We’re supposed to be a hospital but it’s more like a chop shop around here. We’re up to our elbows in people that other people are doing their best to chop down. REPORTER: That doesn’t lead to a lot of sleep, I would imagine. HENRY: I used to think of sleeping in terms of hours. How many did I get last night, how many will I get to steal tonight. I’m down to minutes now. It’s like somebody broke one hand off the clock. REPORTER: Does that ever affect your performance? HENRY: I fell asleep a few weeks ago in the middle of resecting a patient’s bowel. How’s that for exhausted? REPORTER: Does that fishing hat mean there are those times when you do get to get away from it all? HENRY: What it means is that I have to fish for those times. And let me say, the biting’s pretty poor. REPORTER: Business is too good around here. HENRY: Let’s just say it takes a whole lot longer to take a bullet out of a belly than it does putting one into one. REPORTER: Thank you, sir. HENRY: Can I say one more thing? REPORTER: Of course. HENRY: I just want you to know we all here are grateful for this visit you’ve paid us, this attention you’re paying to the job we’re doing. You get the feeling sometimes, being over here that, aside from our families, we’ve kind of dropped off the planet, that we’ve been kind of disinvited to the party – like everyone back home is busy living their real lives and for us to give them a call when we get back to town. (TO REPORTER) That sound too preachy? REPORTER: It sounded just fine, Colonel. HENRY: Henry. I’m a lot more a Henry than I’ll ever be colonel. REPORTER: Thank you, Henry. HENRY: Tell me the truth: didn’t that feel better? REPORTER: You’re an excellent doctor. HENRY: Hey – that’s why I’m over here getting 300 hundred dollars a month.
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thesixenthusiast · 1 year
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ruby – eddie roundtree
part one (part two, part three, part four)
pairing: eddie rountree x fem!oc (may change to x reader) warnings: drinking/drugs (billy/daisy's addictions) word count: 1.6k author's note: please bear with me in this, if there's a few time mix ups just with the order of things, please do let me know but i'm trying to find an equal balance between the book and show and it's a little difficult lol
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On October 4, 1977, Daisy Jones & The Six performed to a sold out crowd at Soldier Field in Chicago, Illinois. They were one of the biggest bands in the world at the time, fresh off their award-winning, multi-platinum selling album “Aurora.” It would be their final performance. 
In the 20 years since, members of the band and their inner circle have refused to speak on the record about what happened… Until now.
THE RISE OF THE SIX (1966-1972)
The Six started out as a blues-rock band called the Dunne Brothers in the mid-sixties out of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Billy and Graham Dunne were raised by single mother, Marlene Dunne, after their father, William Dunne Sr., left in 1954.
BILLY DUNNE (lead singer, The Six): I always dreamed of something different than the typical laid out career paths. When Graham first got the idea to start a band, I assumed it was just to win back his girlfriend. He was, what fourteen? The kid thought his life was over. [Laughs] I guess in retrospect, maybe it was a good idea. 
WARREN ROJAS (drummer, The Six): He was definitely trying to get his girlfriend back.
GRAHAM DUNNE (lead guitar, The Six): We were solid, fine for a while. When Chuck quit, we were out a bassist, which isn’t really something you can do without in a band. Billy originally wanted Eddie to switch to bass, but he wasn’t too keen on that. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE (rhythmic guitar, The Six): I was so sick of Billy trying to run the band, it wasn’t his band, or at least, it wasn’t supposed to be. 
WARREN ROJAS: There was this girl in my math class, her uncle owned a music store downtown, and she used to give lessons to kids on weekends, it was mostly just some scheme by her uncle to get people to buy guitars. 
BILLY DUNNE: She was a sophomore, a young sophomore at that, she wasn’t even 16 by the time she joined, I was a year out of high school and the rest of the boys are creeping on 17 and 18, she just didn’t fit. Warren gets all the boys on board before bringing the idea up to me so I look like the asshole if I say no, I wanted to say no too, but she was good and I didn’t have another option. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: She didn’t even show an interest in being in the band, she wasn’t begging us to give her a chance, we were near-stalking her at the music store, waiting for the perfect opportunity to hear her play and casually bring up that we happened to need a bassist.
JULIET OPAL (bassist/singer, The Six): They weren’t nearly as sly as they thought they were. I originally thought it was some attempt at stealing records or 8-tracks, y’know waiting until I wasn’t looking, but they kept coming back, seemingly just waiting for me to do something, what it was I didn’t know, but something. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: [Sighs] They decided I would be the one to talk to her. 
The shop’s bell rang, signaling the door had been opened, which swung Juliet’s attention away from the magazine she was skimming and up to the front of the store, peering through the aisles to see who entered. A boy, one she recognized from the creeping on her from the previous weeks, made himself visible and she was immediately on high alert. He approached the counter, swallowing nerves as he did, and cleared his throat. 
“Hi,” his voice was hoarse, she took the awkward silence as a moment to study him, he wore a striped shirt, loose jeans, and brown shoes, his hair could use a comb through. He extended his hand, “I’m Eddie, I think we go to school together.”
“Juliet,” she met his hand, “is that why you’re here, to tell me that we might go to school together? Or is there an ulterior motive, one that may explain why you and your friends have been spying on me the past week,” any speck of confidence Eddie had going into this was entirely gone. 
“I’m in a band with some friends and our bassist bailed on us pretty recently. My friend, Warren, he’s a junior like me, I think he’s in your math class, said he saw you play bass and that you were good. We just wanted to see you play before we formally asked.”
“Formally asked what?” She leaned up from her elbows that she had been propped on.
“Oh, to, uh, like,” he stopped himself, licking his lips and sighing, “would you want to maybe play bass for us?” His eyes instantly went to his shoes and he stuffed his hands inside his pockets. 
“Can I have a little more info maybe? It’s not personal, I just don’t know you, like at all and you could be the worst players for all I know.”
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: That one hurt, something about a younger kid who you have a solid five inches on insinuating that she’s better than you are, especially when you’re practically on your knees begging for her to help you out can feel like salt being rubbed into a fresh wound. 
JULIET OPAL: What else was I supposed to do? [Laughs] Just blindly follow the older boy who had been spying on me for a week to the alleged garage that he practices in with his alleged band and hope for the best? I paid attention in the stranger-danger assemblies, I knew better. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I invited her back to Billy and Graham’s but she said she had to close up for her uncle. Once we were out in L.A. she told me she actually just didn’t wanna leave with me and in hindsight, I can’t say I blame her.
The following morning Juliet and the Dunne Brothers skipped their first period and met in the Dunne’s garage. Juliet studied the wads of scribbled sheet music Billy had handed to her without looking her in the eye and she didn’t miss the way Eddie rolled his eyes at his hostility, and Eddie didn’t miss the way her upper lip curled into a smile as she saw his reaction. 
After rifling through the stack of papers, she picked out one at random, and set it down on the table in front of her, leaning over to scan in a few times before pulling the strap of her guitar over her head. She looked over to the group of boys, standing huddled together with Billy noticeably further away and Warren nodded fervently at her with a grin overtaking her face. 
After she played through the song, Billy made her play another, and another, and two more after that ‘for safety.’ Once he had run out of excuses for her to keep playing, he asked her to step out of the garage so they could confer with each other. After seven minutes and two overheard “c’mon man”s from Warren, Juliet was invited back into the garage and to serve as a temporary bass for the band, just until Billy could come to his final decision. 
JULIET OPAL: He was stubborn even then, I’m honestly surprised he let me in.
BILLY DUNNE: I didn’t want to let her in the band. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: I wanted her in the band, I made sure Billy knew that.
JULIET OPAL: A week after I joined, we were playing a gig with​​ the Winters. 
The group stood backstage, listening to the music that was permeating into every corner of the room. Juliet stood sandwiched between Warren and Camila, listening to the band. They had a keyboardist, she caught Juliet’s eye once they had got backstage, when they finished playing and she got offstage, Juliet made a beeline for her, introducing herself. 
“I’m Karen,” she introduced herself, “you play with these guys?”
“Mhm, I’m on bass right now, but in an ideal world I’d steal Eddie over there’s job,” she pointed to him and he smiled back, nodding his head up at her, unknowingly, “I won’t though, kinda like him, at least more than I do Billy,” Karen nodded, opening her mouth to excuse herself from the conversation, “y’know I’ve been saying we need a keyboardist.”
“Have you now?” That piqued her interest she stopped in her tracks and smirked over her shoulder. 
“No,” she admitted, “but I’ve been thinking it.” Billy hollered her name, gesturing her over to the group, who were making their way onstage. She pulled a receipt with a phone number scribbled across it in black ink and handed it to Karen, “If you ever get sick of them, give me a call, I’ll put in a good word for you.”
“Do you always carry around drug store receipts with your phone number on them?”
“You never know who you might meet,” she shrugged and started sprinting towards the stage before calling out over her shoulder, “worked out this time. Wish me luck!”
KAREN SIRKO (keyboardist, The Six): She was so.. vivacious, so full of life. She apoke about a million miles a minute, if I wasn’t fully interested in what she was saying, I don’t think I would’ve caught a word of it. You have this young girl talking your ear off, she seems entirely sure of herself, but also still feels a need to prove to you that she deserves to be there.
JULIET OPAL: I liked Karen, how could I not? And based on the way events would play out, clearly I wasn’t the only one. 
WARREN ROJAS: It was a great gig, Julie did great, not that we weren’t expecting her to, we were just worried about her, she had never done anything in front of a crowd before, but she did everything that actually counted right. 
EDDIE ROUNDTREE: On the drive home she sat next to me and she told me I played well, then she leaned in and kinda whispered and she thanked me. She thanked me for being the one to ask her to join because she would’ve said no to anyone else. [Smiles]
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claws10mileslong · 2 months
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the university of illinois math professor who was always posting about how he wanted to lock twinks in cages on his priv account that i was friends w on twitter when i was 17 who introduced me to jorge luis borges was a great influence on my life
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happyk44 · 1 year
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hermes is on vacation so nico gets some mortal substitute familiar with demigods and the greek pantheon as his doctor and when he calls him up for a visit, dude's like "well hermes didn't really tell me what was up with you because. you know. doctor/patient confidentiality. but he did tell me that if my gut instinct is "you're too young to have that" i should remember that you are apparently over a hundred years old, and if i don't believe that, i should remember he looks like a 25 year old twink but is old enough that he can describe my great grandfather's penis to me in detail. so! what's up with you"
and nico just pulls out this binder from his backpack, slaps it onto the desk and opens it up. the first page is a print out from a powerpoint presentation, the title reading "What Is Wrong With Nico", a subtitle of "aka the old man bones are old man boning", with a smaller subtitle several spaces below reading "current as of: right the fuck now"
the next page is four tables under the title "Ways He Is Broken". the tables depict:
his current diagnosis and the date of diagnosis
his current medications, the amount, and to what problem they correspond
things he's already been tested for that didn't pan out and why he was tested for them
previous medications he was on, the amount and why he was taking them (also includes current meds where the amount was changed)
the next page is titled "How The Fuck Is He Not Dead" and then a bullet pointed list summarizing all his traumas and other minor shit he's been through that has been attached as the cause(s) behind his issues, so like sandwiched between "nearly suffocated to death while trapped in a jar" and "had to shadowtravel across the atlantic ocean with a giant statue and two other people (prior limit was myself going from new york to illinois)" there's a point stating "fell over on the crows nest of a flying boat and dislocated my wrist". next to each bullet point there are coloured dots going to the left. some bullet points only have one, some have two - they are all colour coded to correspond to the ailment(s) in which they apply.
the next page is called "What Is He Up To These Days" and it's just a long list detailing all his diagnosed symptoms - again little circles beside each point to colour code to the corresponding ailment. the column next to it is labelled "new symptoms" and consists of three bullet points: getting dizzy when i stand up, started two months ago once a week, now every time i stand; migraines are back, made me cry in the shower last night, need new meds probably; and, got hit in the rib by a hydra's tail last month, reset my rib myself and eating ambrosia squares, but still hurts really bad, don't think it's healing right
the next page is "What Could Kill Him So Don't Use It*" and it's just a few columns labelled "pet allergies" "food allergies" "drug allergies" "magic allergies" "other allergies" and the only one that has something included is food allergies and it's just the bullet point "garlic intolerant but he's fucking italian so he doesn't care". in the footnotes at the bottom of that page is the asterix relating back to the title saying "Don't fucking give him cigarettes. he is an idiot and he will ask but they do not work and they never worked and he refuses to listen to me when i tell him this. DO NOT LET HIM HAVE CIGARETTES"
it is very clear this page was filled out by Hermes himself
his interim mortal doctor reads carefully each page, glancing once at nico when he gets to Hermes' footnote, before closing the binder. "you're how old?"
"technically 17, chronologically one hundred and something, i dunno i can't do math and i don't remember what my dad put on my cake this year"
"Right. okay." the mortal doctor presses his hands together and to his lips watching nico carefully then lowering his hands to smooth across the desk "have you ever thought about maybe just sitting on a couch and never leaving your house again"
"yeah, i tried that but i get restless, and also i like helping people if they need it and they ask. hermes tells me i should be more selfish then locks me to a chair, but he's also the one who taught me how to pick locks so i can get out pretty easily. honestly don't know why he keeps trying. even if i didn't know how to pick the lock, i'm pretty good at dislocating my joints on purpose too so i can always just get out that way."
the increasingly stressed out doctor just hums quietly. then, "okay! first i'm going to check your rib, and then we're gonna talk about you getting a 24 hour caregiver because you clearly do not understand limits and need someone who does"
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rain -- cardinal copia x reader
the weather was gloomy, rainy, and cool today in northeastern illinois and it was the perfect condition to write about warm and cozy cuddles with copia ☺️
this takes place during his cardinal days because i cannot get enough of the sweet gentle careful copia // 2.7k words, slightly nsfw banter
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The forecast called for days worths of showers after a time of relative drought. The abbey was shrouded in overcast skies and the windows reflected the rain drops on the marble walls. The consistent pitter patter of rain, the constant howl of the wind, and the occasional clap of thunder and flash of lightning dominated what could be heard in the totality of the ministry. Even the click of your heels against the tile floor was hidden within the sounds of the storm.
You made your way down the halls of the ministry, smiling and waving at some of your acquaintances as you passed by. You had your reasons for joining the ministry, for leaving your old religion behind and following the Dark One. You didn't know quite what you expected, but you certainly did not expect an interesting partnership to develop between you and the Cardinal. If people wanted to meet with the Cardinal, they knew they had to speak to you, which is why you were going to his office today. Sister Imperator had blessed you with the task of showing Copia how to access the ministry’s shared hard drive, both because she didn’t want to and because she knew he would receive the tutorial better if it came from you.
You gently knocked on the door to Copia’s office, not wanting to disturb him despite the task you were given. After a few beats, you heard his chair move and his boots tread across the floor beneath the rain before the door slowly creaked open. Copia looked out above your head before turning to look down at you, a way he loved to tease you about your height. Before a word was exchanged, you huffed and crossed your arms in front of your chest. Copia was validated in your response and smirked, his mismatched eyes shining down affectionately at you.
“Ah, sorella,” he almost cooed, his voice thick with relief, as if he was expecting someone else, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
You blushed and bit the inside of your cheek to hide a smile, “Sister Imperator wants me to show you something on the ministry I Drive.” You knew your words meant nothing to him, this was confirmed by the gentle cock of his eyebrow and his confused expression. But he did enjoy listening to the sound of your voice. “Don’t worry,” you began to reassure him, “it’s easy computer stuff, you’ll get it.”
Copia let out a long sigh, as if he didn’t quite believe you, but stepped aside to let you into his office regardless. He was secretly happy to get to spend time with you, an observation you were able to glean from the rising blush on the shells of his ears. You smiled sweetly up at Copia as you walked past him into his office. He caught a whiff of your scent as you glided below him and he sighed softly, imaging what your hair looked like beneath your habit. He shut the door gently and turned towards you, “So this computer thing…?”
You nodded and began to walk towards his desk, beconing him to follow. He obliges, sitting down in his chair whilst looking up at you like he was a child waiting for his parent to do their math homework. You shook your head, amazed at how the Cardinal could be so technoligcally inept at his age. Maybe it was the years of seclusions in the Italian Alps, or his aversion form the general marketplace of ideas that kept him offline. Either way, in his new role he would have to learn how to work a computer. That was unavoidable, and you had spent hours attempting to convince Copia of this. At this point you were genuinely unsure if his ineptitude was real or if he was faking it just to have a reason to keep you around.
You leaned over his shoulder to watch his computer screen as he logged on. “Wow, Cardinal! Look how good you’re getting.” you teased, your voice dripping with sarcasm and fake praise.
“Grazie, mio cara.” Copia looked up at you with a smug look on his face. He laid his hand on your bicep and ran his thumb along your arm. “There’s better things we could be doing than fussing with a computer, eh?”
You rolled your eyes and grumbled at the growing blush on your cheeks. “No, Copia, I’m teaching you how to get to the goddamn I Drive.”
“Okie dokie,” he said, a huff in his voice as he moved his hand from your arm and turned back to his computer. You leaned over his shoulder and instructed him, your cheek radiating by his, and he found it difficult to follow your guide as your sweet smelling voice wofted across his face.
Your relationship with the Cardinal was funny, to say the least. You were the only one in the abbey who could keep him on track and focussed on the task at hand. Professionally, you complimented him well. His productivity had gone up since you two had gotten closer, and you certainly made his transition and settlement into the role of Cardinal easier. There was talk of appointing you as his official assistant, as of now you remained in your role as a Sister of Sin with no changes sanctioned by Sister Imperator or Papa Nihil. It didn’t quite matter to you as you resolved to stay faithful to the Cardinal no matter status or position in the ministry. You saw how much he needed you after your first few days of randomly helping him, and it was beyond you how anyone could do the job alone.
Personally, you complimented him well. He enjoyed being around you. You had quickly became his best friend and your presence always put him at ease. He didn’t know if it was your aura or your personality or what, but something drew him to you and he began to depend on you to get through his day. He thought about you at night, when the bathroom was steamed over him his shower and he leaned his flustered head against the wall, low groans mixing with the sound of water falling down the drain. Unbeknownst to you, the Ghouls had a bet going to see when Copia would crack and confess his all-consuming feelings for you.
The dynamic and banter you shared wasn’t just confined to his office, but people were beginning to take notice all across the abbey. The lost look in his eyes when he was without you, the gentle smile that came over him when you sought him out. You made him feel special, adequate, whole, and the adroation that was born out of that was evident in the air around him.
You noticed it. You basked in it, reveled in it. His reliance on you made you feel important. You nursed the fallacy in your head that the papacy would fall apart without you, but the truth was it very well could have. Imperator knew that, so she avoided discussing the potential romance with you completely. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and she didn’t want to know what was going on until it became a problem. You assumed that Imperator was assuming that you and Copia were together and you never bothered to correct her. Nothing ever did happen though, despite a few close encounters, but it was nothing that a few cold showers couldn’t fix.
After a frustrating twenty minutes, Copia knew how to access files in the drive that was shared on all of the ministry computers. He could access anything he had to, and he promised you that he would review the documents Imperator wanted him to see in the first place. He tucked his nose into your hair and kissed your cheek in thanks, a gesture that always left him satisfied and left you flustered.
Today was no different. You rolled your eyes to act like that little kiss didn’t mean anything to you, but you knew Copia knew you well enough to tell it was an act.
“Sorella,” he spoke softly, turning in his swivel chair to face you, “the rain’s reflection in your eyes is absolutely captivating.”
“Thank you, Cardinal,” you blushed as he moved to hold both of your hands in his, “you’re far too kind.” That was your default response to his flirtation and compliments. It drove him quickly.
“Do you think the abbey is cold today?” Copia tilted his head to the side and kept smiling, soft and sweet. “I think it’s cold today.”
Copia’s office had a few giant windows on the same wall, all of them letting in a tender glow from the rain and allowing the cooler air seep in through the glass. The pseudo wind did chill you to your bones and you moved to sit on the Cardinal’s desk to gaze down into his pretty face.
“I think the rain is throwing off the heat, yes. Why?”
Copia wore a mischevious grin on his face as he lazily wrapped his arms around your waist. “You’ve helped me so much today, I should give you something in return, yes?”
“Cardinal, no, whatever it is no.”
“Oh, come on now. Trust me,” he cooed as he stood up, keeping his arms around you. He was considerably taller and he looked down at you affectionately, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Fidati di me.”
Hearing him speak Italian always gave you butterflies and you couldn’t help the smile that lit up your face. You kicked your feet gently as they dangled off the desk, humming softly as you pretended to consider his offer. “Trust you with what?”
“Let me hold you,” he spoke softer, lower, as he leaned down to your level more. His voice and his breath fanned across the apple of your cheeks, causing your face to flush adorably. Copia smiled as he contineud to speak to you. “Let me wrap you up and hold you in my arms. Holding you is the only thought that puts me to sleep at night, and there’s nothing better than cuddles and a nap in the rain.”
“You’re very wise, Cardinal,” you smiled, tilting your chin up to meet his precious gaze.
He grinned, gently laying his hand on your cheek. You leaned into his touch and the movement melted his heart. “I’m the Cardinal for a reason, cara.”
“I suppose so,” you smiled and laid your hands on his arms.
“Let’s take this veil off, yeah? Cuddling wont be very comfortable in that.” He mused as he gently moved his hand beneath your veil and into your hair. You sighed softly and shut your eyes as he gave your scalp a gentle massage your with the pads of his fingers. After a moment he slipped the bobby pins out of your hair and laid your veil on his desk, smiling as he watched your hair settle around your face. He ran his fingers through it for a moment and you smiled sweetly up at him when he tucked it behind your ear. He was still too shy to kiss your lips but he wasn’t too shy to gaze down at yours longingly, causing your cheeks to burn.
Copia grinned wickedly and picked you up, holding onto your bottom as you squeaked and wrapped your legs around his waist. You felt his lips turn up into a smirk seconds before his hand squeezed and smacked your ass.
“Cardinal!” Your voice was somewhere between a shriek and a laugh as you started to wiggle, trying to break free of his grasp.
“Oh please, I’ve read your mass notes,” Copia smirks, nuzzling his nose into your cheek, “So che lo volevi, so che mi vuoi.”
You shuddered and held onto his shoulders as he carried you over to the couch in his office, sitting down with you still on his lap. The friction between your bodies was delicious but Copia’s goal right now wasn’t sex, it was cuddles, no matter how much his body betrayed his mind. He swivled your hips off of his as quickly as he could, covering his groin and his hips with a blanket, but the damage was already done. You knew what was happening and your cheeks burned at the thought.
His hands moved to your shoulders as he laid down on his back, turning his hips to kick his feet up on the couch, cradling you with him as he held you flush against his side. You were tucked between the Cardinal and the back of the couch, your head nestled between a throw pillow and his shoulder. He sighed, probably exagerating the relief he felt when he laid back.
You looked up at him shyly but smiled after a moment, watching the reflection of the rain on his face. His eyes met yours and they were rain soaked and beautiful, the palor of his skin turning blue in the light from the window.
Copia turned towards you gently, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Oh, I’ve made a mark,” he chuckled absentmindedly as he swiped his thumb across your skin to pick up the black lipstick left behind. You giggled and rolled your eyes playfully, your brain a flustered mess of electicity and lust and affection and passion.
“What if Imperator finds us like this?” You asked softly, reaching to take your black heels off and dropping them behind the couch. When you thought it was safe, you intertwined your stockinged legs with his, and arm wrapped behind you and his hand subconsiously moved to rest on your thigh.
“She wont. And if she does she has nothing to complain about, yes?” He stroked your cheek with his other hand. Nothing yet, at least.
You just smiled and nodded, leaning into his touch. “Okay, I trust you. Even though I know I shouldn’t.”
Copia chuckled, a low rumble that complimented the thunder outside. In a quick moment of remembrance, he took off his hat and placed it haphazardly on your head before turning to look up at the ceiling. He kept his eyes on you and smiled as your cheeks changed color to match the fabric hue. “Sei così carino,” he cooed softly, thankful that you let him speak his mother tongue to you.
You just smiled like Mona Lisa and nudged your nose against his cheek before kissing it softly. The Cardinal hummed happily and shut his eyes, leaning his head towards yours as you settled in besides him.
The warmth that radiated from Copia was trapped in by the blanket, and your body relaxed as you soaked in it. His gentle hands never stopped moving completly, either he would be rubbing your back with his palm or dragging his thumb across your collar bone as his fingers rested on your shoulders. He would find tiny ways to remind himself that he was still holding you, a preoccupation that continued even as little snores rose up from both of your lips.
Loving him would be so easy, you thought.
A few hours later Copia was consious enough to return to sentience. His eyes darted around the room but he was careful to keep his body and his head still as not to wake you. His hat had fallen onto his stomach, and there were some new papers and files littering his desk, evidence that Imperator did stop by, but his hypothesis was correct. For the time being, as long as you kept the Cardinal on task and continually adjusting to his unfamilliar postition, she would maintain that she had no idea what was brewing (or more affectionately, blossoming) between the fresh Cardinal and the Sister of Sin.
Copia stroked your cheek softly and smiled at the way your cheek was jello beneath his touch. He leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips, close enough to feel your mouth against his but still far enough to leave the title of First Kiss open for the taking.
“Amore mio, sei il mio angelo,” he whispered before snuggling your sleeping form a little closer and tucking his face into the crook of your neck.
Outside, rain was still falling. The room was still cold and sounds of droplets hitting the abbey and thunder echoed off the walls. After one particularly loud boom, you stirred, clinging to the Cardinal for safety. He cooed your name into your ear, turning onto his side and pulling you closer. He brought the blanket closer to your heads, rubbing his cheek against yours as he protected you from the storm raging outside.
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Measuring Length: Transit-Time Measurements
One method of measuring distance, or length, is to emit a signal toward an object and measure the length of time it takes for that signal to return. Any signal can work for this method (sound, light, etc.), so long as the math for the speed of that signal is known (such as the speed of sound in water, or the speed of light in air, etc.). Then, a mathematical calculation can be performed to determine the distance between the signal emitter and the object.
Radar is one example of this method, using radio waves to determine distance. Another example is the global positioning system (GPS), which determines distance based on the time difference between your device and the signals sent from multiple satellites.
Sources/Further Reading: (Image source - University of Illinois) (NIST) (radartutorial.eu) (Wikipedia)
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This day in history
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I'm coming to DEFCON! On Aug 9, I'm emceeing the EFF POKER TOURNAMENT (noon at the Horseshoe Poker Room), and appearing on the BRICKED AND ABANDONED panel (5PM, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01). On Aug 10, I'm giving a keynote called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification" (noon, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01).
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#20yrsago MSFT buys spam company, sues the competition, silences political activists https://web.archive.org/web/20040803201355/http://www.eff.org/deeplinks/archives/001774.php
#20yrsago Genome of human zit sequenced https://web.archive.org/web/20040803105000/http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99996222
#15yrsago Annie Lennox gives her masters to mashup artist DJ Earworm https://web.archive.org/web/20090717083944/http://djearworm.com/annie-lennox-backwards-forwards.htm
#15yrsago High school student suing Amazon over book-deletions which rendered his study-notes useless
#15yrsago Six String Nation, the chronicle of Voyageur, a remarkable, unifying, synthesizing Canadian guitar https://memex.craphound.com/2009/07/30/six-string-nation-the-chronicle-of-voyageur-a-remarkable-unifying-synthesizing-canadian-guitar/
#15yrsago HOWTO make a prison soldering iron https://web.archive.org/web/20090803185647/http://prisonproxy.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-its-made-soldering-irons.html
#15yrsago Canadians vow mass-mooning of US spy-blimp https://web.archive.org/web/20090805142350/http://www.theobserver.ca/ArticleDisplay.aspx?e=1680060
#15yrsago Rich NY town tries to shut down children’s library because poor kids might use it https://research.checkpoint.com/2019/cryptographic-attacks-a-guide-for-the-perplexed/
#5yrsago Cop says Amazon told him they had “partnered” with 200 US police forces to sell and tap into Ring surveillance doorbells https://www.vice.com/en/article/j5wyjy/amazon-told-police-it-has-partnered-with-200-law-enforcement-agencies
#5yrsago Affluent parents surrender custody of their kids to “scam” their way into needs-based college scholarships https://www.propublica.org/article/university-of-illinois-financial-aid-fafsa-parents-guardianship-children-students
#5yrsago The darkest SEO: forging judges’ signatures on fake court orders to scrub negative Google results https://web.archive.org/web/20190726010633/https://www.cbsnews.com/news/online-reputation-management-cbs-news-investigation-finds-fraudulent-court-orders-used-to-change-google-search/
#5yrsago Zero Sum Game: action-packed sf thriller about a ninja hero whose superpower is her incredible math ability https://memex.craphound.com/2019/07/30/zero-sum-game-action-packed-sf-thriller-about-a-ninja-hero-whose-superpower-is-her-incredible-math-ability/
#1yrago When the app turns you into a robo-scab https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/30/computer-says-scab/#instawork
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Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!
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[TW: Corporal Punishment, Child Abuse, Child Neglect. Cruel and Unusual Punishment Of A Minor]
Molly Parker and Beth Hundsdorfer at Capitol News Illinois, via ProPublica:
It was on L.J.’s 11th birthday, in December 2022, that child welfare workers finally took him away. They arrived at his central Illinois home to investigate an abuse allegation and decided on the spot to remove the boy along with his baby brother and sister — the “Irish twins,” as their parents called them. His mother begged to keep the children while her boyfriend told child welfare workers and the police called to the scene that they could take L.J.: “You wanna take someone? Take that little motherfucker down there or wherever the fuck he is at. I’ve been trying to get him out of here for a long time.” By that time, L.J. told authorities he hadn’t been in a classroom for years, according to police records. First came COVID-19. Then, in August 2021 when he was going to have to repeat the third grade, his mother and her boyfriend decided that L.J. would be homeschooled and that they would be his teachers. In an instant, his world shrank to the confines of a one-bedroom apartment in the small Illinois college town of Charleston — no teachers, counselors or classmates.
In that apartment, L.J. would later tell police, he was beaten and denied food: Getting leftovers from the refrigerator was punishable by a whipping with a belt; sass was met with a slap in the face. L.J. told police he got no lessons or schoolwork at home. Asked if he had learned much, L.J. replied, “Not really.” Reporters are using the first and middle initials of the boy, who is now 12 and remains in state custody, to protect his identity. While each state has different regulations for homeschooling — and most of them are relatively weak — Illinois is among a small minority that places virtually no rules on parents who homeschool their children: The parents aren’t required to register with any governmental agency, and no tests are required. Under Illinois law, they must provide an education equivalent to what is offered in public schools, covering core subjects like math, language arts, science and health. But parents don’t have to have a high school diploma or GED, and state authorities cannot compel them to demonstrate their teaching methods or prove attendance, curriculum or testing outcomes.
The Illinois State Board of Education said in a statement that regional education offices are empowered by Illinois law to request evidence that a family that homeschools is providing an adequate course of instruction. But, the spokesperson said, their “ability to intervene can be limited.” Educational officials say this lack of regulation allows parents to pull vulnerable children like L.J. from public schools then not provide any education for them. They call them “no schoolers.” No oversight also means children schooled at home lose the protections schools provide, including teachers, counselors, coaches and bus drivers — school personnel legally bound to report suspected child abuse and neglect. Under Illinois law, parents may homeschool even if they would be disqualified from working with youth in any other setting; this includes parents with violent criminal records or pending child abuse investigations, or those found to have abused children in the past.
The number of students from preschool to 12th grade enrolled in the state’s public schools has dropped by about 127,000 since the pandemic began. Enrollment losses have outpaced declines in population, according to a report by Advance Illinois, a nonprofit education policy and advocacy organization. And, despite conventional wisdom, the drop was also not the result of wealthier families moving their children to private schools: After the pandemic, private school enrollment declined too, according to the same report.
In the face of this historic exodus from public schools, Capitol News Illinois and ProPublica set out to examine the lack of oversight by education and child welfare systems when some of those children disappear into families later accused of no-schooling and, sometimes, abuse and neglect. Reporters found no centralized system for investigating homeschooling concerns. Educational officials said they were ill equipped to handle cases where parents are accused of neglecting their children’s education. They also said the state’s laws made it all but impossible to intervene in cases where parents claim they are homeschooling. Reporters also found that under the current structure, concerns about homeschooling bounce between child welfare and education authorities, with no entity fully prepared to step in.
“Although we have parents that do a great job of homeschooling, we have many ‘no schoolers’” said Angie Zarvell, superintendent of a regional education office about 100 miles southwest of Chicago that covers three counties and 23 school districts. “The damage this is doing to small rural areas is great. These children will not have the basic skills needed to be contributing members of society.” Regional education offices, like the one Zarvell oversees, are required by law to identify children who are truant and try to help get them back into school. But once parents claim they are homeschooling, “our hands are tied,” said Superintendent Michelle Mueller, whose regional office is located about 60 miles north of St. Louis. Even the state’s child welfare agency can do little: Reports to its child abuse hotline alleging that parents are depriving their children of an education have multiplied, but the Department of Children and Family Services doesn’t investigate schooling matters. Instead, it passes reports to regional education offices. [...]
There’s no way to determine the precise number of children who are homeschooled. In 2022, 4,493 children were recorded as withdrawn to homeschool, a number that is likely much higher because Illinois doesn’t require parents to register homeschooled children. That is a little more than double the number a decade before. In late fall of 2020, L.J. was one of the kids who slipped out of school. After a roughly five-month hiatus from the classroom during the pandemic, L.J.’s school resumed in-person classes. The third grader, however, was frequently absent. At home, tensions ran high. In the 640-square-foot apartment, L.J.’s mother, Ashley White, and her boyfriend, Brian Anderson, juggled the demands of three children including two born just about 10 months apart. White, now 31, worked at a local fast-food restaurant. Anderson, now 51, who uses a wheelchair, had applied for disability payments. Anderson doesn’t have a valid driver’s license. The family lived in a subsidized housing complex for low-income seniors and people with disabilities.
In an interview with reporters in late February, 14 months after L.J. had been taken into custody by the state, the couple offered a range of explanations for why he hadn’t been in school. L.J. had been suspended and barred from returning, they said, though school records show no expulsion. They also said they had tried to put L.J. in an alternative school for children with special needs, but he didn’t have a diagnosis that qualified him to attend. The couple made clear they believed that L.J. was a problem child who could get them in trouble; they said they thought he could get them sued. In the interview, Anderson called L.J. a pathological liar, a thief and a bad kid. “I have 11 kids, never had a problem with any of them, never,” Anderson said. “I’ve never had a problem like this,” he said of L.J. The boy, he said, lacked discipline and continued to get “worse and worse and worse every year” he’d known him.
To support the idea that L.J. was combative, White provided a copy of a screenshot taken from a school chat forum in which the boy cursed at his schoolmates. At the end of the school year, in spring 2021, the principal told White and Anderson that the boy would have to repeat the third grade. Rather than have L.J. held back, the couple pulled him out of school to homeschool. They didn’t have to fill out any paperwork or give a reason. On any given day in Illinois, a parent can make that same decision. That’s due to a series of court and legislative decisions that strengthened parents’ rights against state interference in how they educate their children.
[...] Faced with cases of truancy or educational neglect, county prosecutors can press charges against parents. But if they do, parents can lean on Illinois’ parental protections when they defend themselves in court from a truancy charge. [...] More recently, the ISBE made one more decision to loosen the monitoring of parents who homeschool: For years, school districts and regional offices distributed voluntary registration forms to families who homeschool, some of whom returned them. Then last year, the state agency told those regional offices that they no longer had to send those forms to ISBE.
[...] Over the years, the legislature has taken up proposals to strengthen the state’s oversight of homeschooling. In 2011, lawmakers considered requiring parents to notify their local school districts of their intent to homeschool, and in 2019 they considered calling for DCFS to inspect all homeschools and have ISBE approve their curriculum. Each time, however, the state’s strong homeschooling lobby, mostly made up of religious-based organizations, stepped in. This March, under sponsorship of the Illinois Christian Home Educators, homeschoolers massed at the state Capitol as they have for decades for Cherry Pie Day, bringing pies to each of the state’s 177 lawmakers. Kirk Smith, the organization’s executive director and former public school teacher, summed up his group’s appeal to lawmakers: “All we want is to be left alone. And Illinois has been so good. We have probably the best state in the nation to homeschool.”
This @capitolnewsil / @propublica story on how a set of parents decided to homeschool one of their kids, and it served as a crude excuse to abuse and torment that child.
This is one of the reasons why regulation-free homeschooling is a bad idea, and there ought to be some common sense regulations on homeschooling.
The main reason why Illinois remains regulation-free for homeschooling is the homeschooling lobby, which is disproportionately dominated by conservative evangelical/fundamentalist Protestants.
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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 7 months
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Do u have any Illy hcs :?
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*has a heart attack*
*rises from the dead* y-yes I do have some 😅
Bro is literally just the NY of the Midwest. He’s got the attitude and everything. The only thing that’s different is that he has corn.
He’s a little bit squishy cuz we love that <3
^hes insecure but has to pretend like he’s not.
He’s actually pretty damn strong (the amount of times he’s just randomly picked up a state cuz they were being cocky and "annoying" is astronomical. yes this group of states includes TEXAS-)
He’s the type of Midwesterner to claim that he doesn’t say "Ope" and "oofda" and all those other Midwestern things but then unknowingly catches himself saying them 😭 (is this projecting? Yes. Fight me about it /j)
He’s really good with hair. Idk why but he just is.
He’s also really good at gardening too
In my head, he’s either a red head or he’s a blonde.
Dropped out of school when he was 15 and never went back.
^he sucks at math and science but is good with reading and ELA and all that
Him and NY love graffiti-ing the buildings in their cities <3
Illinois lost a bet with NY and NY got to do one tattoo of his choice on Illi. Safe to say that Illi was pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t something dumb and it was just his state flower, bird, and tree.
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In Illinois, 114,000 people are banned from owning guns because of legal tangles or mental health issues — three-quarters of them haven't surrendered their firearms, according to data the Cook County sheriff will present Thursday.
Sheriff Tom Dart is seeking $10 million from state lawmakers to tackle what he calls in naming the report “A Firearm Regulation Crisis." The money would train and equip more door-knocking officers to retrieve or ensure the safe storage of weapons from those who have had their state Firearm Owners Identification cards rescinded.
The aim would be reducing the chance potentially volatile people would exhibit the type of violence seen when a shooter who wasn't allowed to own a firearm carried out a massacre at Henry Pratt Co. in a Chicago suburb.
Otherwise, the menace of revocations of FOID cards from noncompliant gun owners will spiral beyond law enforcement’s control, the Democratic sheriff told The Associated Press in releasing the report in advance. Dart scheduled a news conference Thursday morning to release his findings.
“I wish I was making this up. I wish I had someone pull my argument apart and say, ’You’re exaggerating. You’re being dramatic,'” the Dart told the AP in an interview Wednesday. “No. Do the math. At this rate, two years from now, we’re going to have 100,000 revoked FOID card owners, and there will be no contact with them to ensure they’ve had their guns properly dealt with.”
Legislation pending in Springfield would increase fees on weapons purchases to fuel enforcement, but just two weeks remain in the spring legislative session.
There are 2.42 million FOID card holders in Illinois. They are rescinded when a gun owner is convicted of a felony, is the subject of an order of protection, is dealing with other mental health or cognitive issues, or is deemed a “clear and present danger” to themselves or others by police, school administrators, or medical professionals. Notified gun owners are required to turn over their weapons for storage or transfer them to a trusted person possessing a FOID card, an action certified with the completion of a Firearm Disposition Record.
Too many don't. Historically, the approach was for local law enforcement to repeatedly send letters informing the recipient of the obligation to do so.
Dart's report found that of nearly 114,000 repealed FOID card holders, 74% — approximately 84,000 — have never accounted for surrendering weapons.
The issue came to a bloody, devastating head in February 2019 when a man dismissed from his job at the Henry Pratt Co. in Aurora pulled and fired a gun he wasn’t allowed to have, killing five employees and wounding half-a-dozen others. The gunman bought the weapon in 2014 when a background check failed to identify a 1995 conviction for aggravated assault in Mississippi. When authorities became aware of it, they revoked the man’s FOID, but he never surrendered the weapon.
The same year, a DuPage County man whose FOID had been revoked for an aggravated battery charge but who had not turned over any weapons shot and killed his 18-month-old son, then himself, Dart's report notes.
Dart's efforts in the area predate the Aurora incident. He formed a unit in 2013 of eight officers trained to deal with tense environments, including those involving mental illnesses. His staff says the office has closed 9,200 cases, collected 4,000 FOID cards, taken 1,517 weapons for storage and allowed the safe transfer of several thousands of other weapons.
“It isn’t like trying to draw some type of conclusion and be a mind reader on who’s about to commit an offense,” Dart said. “We literally have the name and address of someone who has a gun and shouldn’t have it.”
Legislation signed in 2021 created a program for funding revocation enforcement teams. The Illinois State Police has granted local police departments — including Dart's and the Chicago city police — about $1 million a year.
Illinois State Police started tracking revocation enforcement in May 2019 and through 2022 reported bringing 4,300 people into compliance with the law.
Despite recent efforts, the backlog hasn't changed since state police reported it in the days following the Aurora disaster.
Dart has a sympathetic ear in the capital, and one particularly sensitive to the subject. Rep. Bob Morgan, a Democrat from the Chicago suburb of Deerfield, was marching with constituents in Highland Park's 2022 July 4th parade when a gunman opened fire, killing seven and wounding at least 30.
Morgan's proposal would increase the $2 fee on firearm purchases or transfers to $10, with $4 of that earmarked for the Illinois State Police's revocation enforcement fund. Morgan said the legislation has yet to be reviewed by the House task force on firearms.
Despite the steep increase in the transfer charge, Morgan said many states charge more than Illinois, from $15 in New Jersey to $25 in Nevada.
“We just have tens of thousands of these weapons that are floating out there from people who have had their FOID card legally and finally revoked,” Morgan said. “We need to do better.”
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