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#Im too scared to even apply for any benefits because I almost got prosecuted for not filling in forms in time
quillandrapier
·
1 year
Text
You could be having the most harrowing mental health episode and you just have to clean and be present.
#Tw for gender dsyphoria
#Internalised fat phobia
#And suicidal ideation
#Anyway
#So my brain is telling me I should detransition
#Not because Im not a man
#Is just the misgendering is too much
#Im so heavy these days I'm medically obese and that's really fucking my brain up
#My body doesn't move how I want and it's killing me
#But im so depressed i cant bring myself to move my body enough
#I dont even like food but I eat like an entire box of ice creams because I just do
#Im £2000 in my overdraft and I can't control my spending to the point I cannot get out of it
#Im too scared to even apply for any benefits because I almost got prosecuted for not filling in forms in time
#Even with a world of leniency
#People around me are telling me “oh but it's been so hard” but I've just been lazy
#I cant find the motivation to do anything at all.
#My sister is moving home in two weeks and we'd have to share a room
#But i almost threw a glass at my mum the other day while I was fucking up trying to make food
#So at this point I genuinely think i cant get out of these issues
#I dont believe I can do anything but kill myself at this point
#Im not even worth trying for anymore
#I cant take testorone correctly so im just getting the negative effects
#I cant take medience correctly
#I really don't think I'll be alive in three weeks time
#I hate myself for posting this because i hate being this person
#But i dont have anyone I can talk to about this as depression has left me almost entirely alien
#I've destroyed most my friendships with my procrastination
#My ex was right to leave me
#Im not someone who can be helped
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