#Incorrect detective conan

[izzytheloser12]

~~~~dcmk incorrect quotes parents addition~~~~

Yusaku: Hey, do you know the password to Shinichi’s computer?

Yukiko: Fuck you, Yusaku.

Yusaku: Rude.

Yukiko: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouYusaku".

Yusaku: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

~~~~~~~

Toichi: This date is boring! Yusaku: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. Toichi: Then why did you invite me? Yusaku: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Yusaku I'll do whatever I want!

~~~~~~~~~

Toichi: Ginzo, I screwed up, big time. Ginzo: Toichi, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

~~~~~~~~~

Korogo: Ran is off at an appointment, so while She gone, I’m going to cut the sleeves off all of my shirts. Shinichi: Why? Korogo: Shes like 90% of my impulse control.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Yukiko, when Yusaku walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.

Yukiko: *accidentally smacks Shinichi in the face with the baking sheet*

~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Well, Shinichi and I finally did it! All of thier parents: gasps, shocked expressions, etc. Kaito: That's right… We kissed!

~~~~~~~~~~

*Megure and Yukiko are teaching Shinichi how to drive*

Megure: That's a pothole. To the left!

Shinichi: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole*

Yukiko, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth.

Shinichi: I don't think that's how the song goes.

Megure, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home.

Shinichi: Country Roads.

Yukiko: To the place.

Shinichi and Yukiko in unison: I Belong!

Megure, crying harder: What the fuck

~~~~~~~~~

Yukiko: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Yusaku: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Shinichi, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Yukiko: You're a bad influence.

Yusaku: And you don't know your sayings.

~~~~~~~

Kaito: You’re alive. Toichi: No need to sound so disappointed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Can we go out to get lemon pie?

Yusaku: Did you ask mom?

Shinichi: she said no.

Yusaku: Then why did you ask me?

Shinichi: She not the boss of you.

Yusaku, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Mom, I got suspended from school… Chikage: WHAT?!?! What did you do? Kaito: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said “there is an idiot at the end of this ruler”. Chikage: And…? Kaito: I asked which end… Chikage, unable to contain her laughter: Okay, you just made my day.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Chikage: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Yukiko: AS ENEMIES?! Chikage:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conan: Go ahead, Ran. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Korogo: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

~~~~~~~~~

Toichi: It’s nice to be wanted, you know? Ginzo: Not by the law!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yukiko: What are you getting Toichi for the holidays? Yusaku: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet. Chikage: I'm getting Toichi a divorce lawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chikage: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Toichi, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls? Kaito, whispering: Because I have little hands. Toichi: Because he have little hands.

~~~~~~~~~

Toichi: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry. Kaito: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Toichi: You have to teach Shinichi how to drive. Kaito: …put the band-aid back on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Korogo: It’s funny how well you and Shinichi get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Ran: Shinichi hates everybody at first. It’s his way of reaching out to people.

~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Do you cook? Yusaku: I made a cake once. Yukiko: Yeah, it was good. Yusaku: Really? Yukiko: Don’t make me lie twice, Yusaku.

[bluevelvetea]

Bourbon: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Gin: I sleep with a knife.

Kir: Both of you are pathetic.

Bourbon: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Kir: Vermouth.

[solarianvoidthearoace]

Shinichi (Conan) @ Akai: “Am I in trouble?”

Akai: “Take a guess.”

Amuro standing behind Akai: …

Shinichi, playing up the cute kiddo act: “I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.”

Akai: “You know that doesn’t work with me, so–”

Amuro: “We know this and we love you.”

Shinichi: grins like the smug little devil bastard demon spawn he is

Akai, whispering: “You know full-well he got himself in trouble for the dozenth time this week! Didn’t you say I need to step up as a parental figure?”

Furuya, whispering back: “Yes. And of course we’ll grill him about this. But letting him think he gets away with it is objectively funnier.”

Akai: exasperated bitch face

Furuya, shrugs: “Yukiko-san did tell us to have fun with this whole parenting thing. Also he got me almost shot with this, so you’ve got no leg to stand on.”

[alitheakorogane]

Ai: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

[haibarashiho]

[butter-pangcake]

last one of badly drawn incorrect dcmk (finally) | prev.

more below as usual⬇️

[tinyeyeofjustice]

An old comic I made a year-ish ago based on the popular vine. Originally posted to my Reddit lol.

[nymphadorathetemplar]

Conan: you know when i was your age

Hattori: well when i was your height

Conan: you little—

Hattori: you mean, "you tall"

my dcmk incorrect quotes masterpost

[risingmoonyue]

Ran: I wonder what kind of people he's meeting on his case. What if they're hot???? what shinichi falls in love with an American bombshell and makes her his girlfriend and they elope?!?!

Shinichi, at all times: RanRanRanRan—

[creekfiend]

the thing is that "what if sherlock holmes was a diagnostician" is in fact a somewhat interesting question, the answer to which would be something in almost every respect utterly unlike HOUSE MD

[ottarine]

Kaito: damn, the weather is frickin hot here *starts to unbutton shirt

Shinichi: yeah, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

[izzytheloser12]

~Kaishin and gosho boys incorrect quotes~

Shinichi : Kaito and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Heiji : *Sighing* What did Kaito do?

Shinichi : They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Kaito: Who wants a steering wheel?

~~~~~~~~~

Conan: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?

Kaito: Plane tickets?

Hakuba: Concert tickets?

Heiji: Prostitution?

Conan, holding their broken frames: Glasses.

~~~~~~~

Shinichi: Why is Kaito so sad?

Heiji: he took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Shinichi: And...?

Heiji: he got Hakuba.

~~~~~~~~~~

Shinichi: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Kaito: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Heiji ?

Heiji: Probably “road work ahead”.

Hakuba: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

~~~~~~~~

Hakuba: You read my diary?

Heiji: At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic.

~~~~~~~

*kaito messing with them*

Hakuba: Okay, what does A stand for?

Kaito: Arson.

Hakuba: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for?

Kaito: Barson.

Heiji: *laughter*

Hakuba: What stands for C?

Kaito: Commit arson.

Heiji: Oooo.

Hakuba: D!

Kaito: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson.

Heiji: *more laughter*

~~~~~~~~

*kaito about shinichi*

Kaito: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: You know, Shinichi, you are the sun in my life.

Shinichi: Why? Cause I'm smoking hot?

Kaito: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

~~~~~~~~

Aoko, texting: Kaito, will you please go to sleep?

Kaito, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

Aoko, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Aoko, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Kaito, texting: I’m trying

Aoko, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A 5:45 AM MEETING TOMORROW BITCH

Aoko, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

~~~~~~~~~

Kaito: Shinichi annoyed me today so I told him that I can’t wait to see what he has planned for our special day tomorrow.

Hakuba: There is nothing special about tomorrow.

Kaito: But there is something special about watching the color leave his face as panic takes over.

~~~~~~~~~

*before they started to dated*

Kaito: Shinichi is playing hard to get.

Kaito: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

[justlissca]

Kaito: How was your week, Shinichi?

Shinichi: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Kaito.

Kaito: ...

[urwatueat]

Just watched Taste closed the movie. I am OBSESSED 🥰

[the-sprog]

Ai: "it seems like you and Kuroba-kun are cousins."

Shinichi&Kaito: "WHAT?!"

Kaito: "WHAT OTHER THINGS HAS MY DAD BEEN KEEPING SECRET FROM ME? WHAT THE FUCK?"

Shinichi: "No, actually, thinking about it, this is exactly the kind of thing my father would keep secret from me."

Kaito: "... I'm kinda worried about your upbringing right now. And coming from me? That's saying something."

Shinichi: "I'm 16 and I know what cocaine tastes like. You do the math."

[marksandrec]

Marks and Rec: Misc #2484

Mouse Madej strikes again. (Dialogue from tumblr.)