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#Investment Management Companies near me
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Alliance Advisors LLC | Financial Advisor | Tax Planning Services in Novi MI
Ours is among the top-rated Financial Advisor in Novi MI, we specialize in helping individuals and businesses achieve their financial goals. Whether it’s investing an inheritance, planning for retirement, or saving for your child’s education, we will work with you to grow and protect your wealth. With a client-centered approach and a deep understanding of the local market, we provide personalized solutions that align with your unique needs and aspirations. Moreover, acquiring our exceptional Tax Planning Services in Novi MI, can help maximize your tax efficiency. Our professionals stay updated with the latest tax laws and regulations to navigate your tax complexities. So, if you need our expert assistance, call us today.
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wealthifyme · 15 days
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What Are the Benefits of NFO as per a Mutual Fund Distributor in Faridabad?
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Most people are not aware that new fund offerings (NFOs) can be a great way to start their mutual fund investment journey. This is where a mutual fund distributor in Faridabad steps in, helping investors understand why NFOs can be a valuable option. NFOs give investors a chance to invest in a new mutual fund at its initial offer price, typically ₹10 per unit, which can be a compelling entry point.
What is an NFO?
An NFO (New Fund Offer) is the first-time sale of units in a new mutual fund scheme by an asset management company (AMC). During the NFO period, the fund is offered to investors at a fixed price. After this initial period, the fund units can be bought or sold at the market-determined Net Asset Value (NAV).
Benefits of Investing in an NFO
Low Initial Investment Price: NFOs offer units at a fixed price, usually ₹10 per unit, allowing investors to buy more units initially. If the fund performs well, this can lead to higher returns over time. If you wish to know more, reach out to an AMFI registered mutual fund distributor in Faridabad, like WealthifyMe.
Potential for Growth: NFOs often focus on emerging sectors, giving investors a chance to participate in early-stage growth, which can lead to significant returns in the long run.
Portfolio Diversification: NFOs introduce unique strategies or sectors not available in existing funds, helping investors diversify their portfolios across different market segments.
Innovative Strategies: Many NFOs focus on trending sectors like technology or renewable energy, offering fresh opportunities that traditional funds may not.
Tailored Investment Solutions: NFOs are often designed to meet specific investor needs, and mutual fund distributors can help match the right NFOs to individual financial goals.
Professional Management: NFOs are managed by experienced fund managers who use their expertise to make the most of market opportunities.
Exposure to Untapped Markets: NFOs can target sectors or regions not covered by existing funds, offering investors new opportunities for growth.
Tax Benefits: Certain NFOs, such as ELSS, provide tax deductions under Section 80C, offering both investment growth and tax savings.
Conclusion
NFOs are a great investment option for people who wish to make the most of new opportunities in the market. While NFOs may not always guarantee immediate returns, they provide the potential for long-term growth, especially when aligned with emerging trends or niche sectors.
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Welcome to Confident Financial Solutions LLC, your trusted partner in Cheshire for expert financial advice and planning, especially tailored for retirement. Our comprehensive range of services includes retirement income planning, investment management, estate planning, tax optimization strategies, and more. We utilize cutting-edge financial tools and technology to analyze your current financial standing and develop a roadmap to help you navigate the complexities of retirement planning. Call us at (203) 806–1611 for more information about Financial Advisor for Retirement Cheshire or visit our website.
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ekirkpatrick2023 · 1 year
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Best Property Management Companies in Indianapolis
As the leading property management company in Indianapolis, we take pride in offering top-notch services to property owners. Our expert team handles everything from tenant screening to property maintenance, ensuring your investment is in safe hands. Worried about managing multiple properties? Don't be! We specialize in managing multiple properties efficiently, allowing you to focus on other essential aspects of your business. Maximize your ROI and minimize stress with our reliable property management services. We offer personalized property management plans tailored to your needs. To learn more about the best property management companies in Indianapolis, visit us now.
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Antitrust is a labor issue
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I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!
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This is huge: yesterday, the FTC finalized a rule banning noncompete agreements for every American worker. That means that the person working the register at a Wendy's can switch to the fry-trap at McD's for an extra $0.25/hour, without their boss suing them:
https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-announces-rule-banning-noncompetes
The median worker laboring under a noncompete is a fast-food worker making close to minimum wage. You know who doesn't have to worry about noncompetes? High tech workers in Silicon Valley, because California already banned noncompetes, as did Colorado, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Virginia and Washington.
The fact that the country's largest economies, encompassing the most "knowledge-intensive" industries, could operate without shitty bosses being able to shackle their best workers to their stupid workplaces for years after those workers told them to shove it shows you what a goddamned lie noncompetes are based on. The idea that companies can't raise capital or thrive if their know-how can walk out the door, secreted away in the skulls of their ungrateful workers, is bullshit:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal
Remember when OpenAI's board briefly fired founder Sam Altman and Microsoft offered to hire him and 700 of his techies? If "noncompetes block investments" was true, you'd think they'd have a hard time raising money, but no, they're still pulling in billions in investor capital (primarily from Microsoft itself!). This is likewise true of Anthropic, the company's major rival, which was founded by (wait for it), two former OpenAI employees.
Indeed, Silicon Valley couldn't have come into existence without California's ban on noncompetes – the first silicon company, Shockley Semiconductors, was founded by a malignant, delusional eugenicist who also couldn't manage a lemonade stand. His eight most senior employees (the "Traitorous Eight") quit his shitty company to found Fairchild Semiconductor, a rather successful chip shop – but not nearly so successful as the company that two of Fairchild's top employees founded after they quit: Intel:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/24/the-traitorous-eight-and-the-battle-of-germanium-valley/
Likewise a lie: the tale that noncompetes raise wages. This theory – beloved of people whose skulls are so filled with Efficient Market Hypothesis Brain-Worms that they've got worms dangling out of their nostrils and eye-sockets – holds that the right to sign a noncompete is an asset that workers can trade to their employers in exchange for better pay. This is absolutely true, provided you ignore reality.
Remember: the median noncompete-bound worker is a fast food employee making near minimum wage. The major application of noncompetes is preventing that worker from getting a raise from a rival fast-food franchisee. Those workers are losing wages due to noncompetes. Meanwhile, the highest paid workers in the country are all clustered in a a couple of cities in northern California, pulling down sky-high salaries in a state where noncompetes have been illegal since the gold rush.
If a capitalist wants to retain their workers, they can compete. Offer your workers get better treatment and better wages. That's how capitalism's alchemy is supposed to work: competition transmogrifies the base metal of a capitalist's greed into the noble gold of public benefit by making success contingent on offering better products to your customers than your rivals – and better jobs to your workers than those rivals are willing to pay. However, capitalists hate capitalism:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah
Capitalists hate capitalism so much that they're suing the FTC, in MAGA's beloved Fifth Circuit, before a Trump-appointed judge. The case was brought by Trump's financial advisors, Ryan LLC, who are using it to drum up business from corporations that hate Biden's new taxes on the wealthy and stepped up IRS enforcement on rich tax-cheats.
Will they win? It's hard to say. Despite what you may have heard, the case against the FTC order is very weak, as Matt Stoller explains here:
https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/ftc-enrages-corporate-america-by
The FTC's statutory authority to block noncompetes comes from Section 5 of the FTC Act, which bans "unfair methods of competition" (hard to imagine a less fair method than indenturing your workers). Section 6(g) of the Act lets the FTC make rules to enforce Section 5's ban on unfairness. Both are good law – 6(g) has been used many times (26 times in the five years from 1968-73 alone!).
The DC Circuit court upheld the FTC's right to "promulgate rules defining the meaning of the statutory standards of the illegality the Commission is empowered to prevent" in 1973, and in 1974, Congress changed the FTC Act, but left this rulemaking power intact.
The lawyer suing the FTC – Anton Scalia's larvum, a pismire named Eugene Scalia – has some wild theories as to why none of this matters. He says that because the law hasn't been enforced since the ancient days of the (checks notes) 1970s, it no longer applies. He says that the mountain of precedent supporting the FTC's authority "hasn't aged well." He says that other antitrust statutes don't work the same as the FTC Act. Finally, he says that this rule is a big economic move and that it should be up to Congress to make it.
Stoller makes short work of these arguments. The thing that tells you whether a law is good is its text and precedent, "not whether a lawyer thinks a precedent is old and bad." Likewise, the fact that other antitrust laws is irrelevant "because, well, they are other antitrust laws, not this antitrust law." And as to whether this is Congress's job because it's economically significant, "so what?" Congress gave the FTC this power.
Now, none of this matters if the Supreme Court strikes down the rule, and what's more, if they do, they might also neuter the FTC's rulemaking power in the bargain. But again: so what? How is it better for the FTC to do nothing, and preserve a power that it never uses, than it is for the Commission to free the 35-40 million American workers whose bosses get to use the US court system to force them to do a job they hate?
The FTC's rule doesn't just ban noncompetes – it also bans TRAPs ("training repayment agreement provisions"), which require employees to pay their bosses thousands of dollars if they quit, get laid off, or are fired:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose
The FTC's job is to protect Americans from businesses that cheat. This is them, doing their job. If the Supreme Court strikes this down, it further delegitimizes the court, and spells out exactly who the GOP works for.
This is part of the long history of antitrust and labor. From its earliest days, antitrust law was "aimed at dollars, not men" – in other words, antitrust law was always designed to smash corporate power in order to protect workers. But over and over again, the courts refused to believe that Congress truly wanted American workers to get legal protection from the wealthy predators who had fastened their mouth-parts on those workers' throats. So over and over – and over and over – Congress passed new antitrust laws that clarified the purpose of antitrust, using words so small that even federal judges could understand them:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men
After decades of comatose inaction, Biden's FTC has restored its role as a protector of labor, explicitly tackling competition through a worker protection lens. This week, the Commission blocked the merger of Capri Holdings and Tapestry Inc, a pair of giant conglomerates that have, between them, bought up nearly every "affordable luxury" brand (Versace, Jimmy Choo, Michael Kors, Kate Spade, Coach, Stuart Weitzman, etc).
You may not care about "affordable luxury" handbags, but you should care about the basis on which the FTC blocked this merger. As David Dayen explains for The American Prospect: 33,000 workers employed by these two companies would lose the wage-competition that drives them to pay skilled sales-clerks more to cross the mall floor and switch stores:
https://prospect.org/economy/2024-04-24-challenge-fashion-merger-new-antitrust-philosophy/
In other words, the FTC is blocking a $8.5b merger that would turn an oligopoly into a monopoly explicitly to protect workers from the power of bosses to suppress their wages. What's more, the vote was unanimous, include the Commission's freshly appointed (and frankly, pretty terrible) Republican commissioners:
https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-moves-block-tapestrys-acquisition-capri
A lot of people are (understandably) worried that if Biden doesn't survive the coming election that the raft of excellent rules enacted by his agencies will die along with his presidency. Here we have evidence that the Biden administration's anti-corporate agenda has become institutionalized, acquiring a bipartisan durability.
And while there hasn't been a lot of press about that anti-corporate agenda, it's pretty goddamned huge. Back in 2021, Tim Wu (then working in the White wrote an executive order on competition that identified 72 actions the agencies could take to blunt the power of corporations to harm everyday Americans:
https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby
Biden's agency heads took that plan and ran with it, demonstrating the revolutionary power of technical administrative competence and proving that being good at your job is praxis:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff
In just the past week, there's been a storm of astoundingly good new rules finalized by the agencies:
A minimum staffing ratio for nursing homes;
The founding of the American Climate Corps;
A guarantee of overtime benefits;
A ban on financial advisors cheating retirement savers;
Medical privacy rules that protect out-of-state abortions;
A ban on junk fees in mortgage servicing;
Conservation for 13m Arctic acres in Alaska;
Classifying "forever chemicals" as hazardous substances;
A requirement for federal agencies to buy sustainable products;
Closing the gun-show loophole.
That's just a partial list, and it's only Thursday.
Why the rush? As Gerard Edic writes for The American Prospect, finalizing these rules now protects them from the Congressional Review Act, a gimmick created by Newt Gingrich in 1996 that lets the next Senate wipe out administrative rules created in the months before a federal election:
https://prospect.org/politics/2024-04-23-biden-administration-regulations-congressional-review-act/
In other words, this is more dazzling administrative competence from the technically brilliant agencies that have labored quietly and effectively since 2020. Even laggards like Pete Buttigieg have gotten in on the act, despite a very poor showing in the early years of the Biden administration:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/11/dinah-wont-you-blow/#ecp
Despite those unpromising beginnings, the DOT has gotten onboard the trains it regulates, and passed a great rule that forces airlines to refund your money if they charge you for services they don't deliver:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/04/24/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-announces-rules-to-deliver-automatic-refunds-and-protect-consumers-from-surprise-junk-fees-in-air-travel/
The rule also bans junk fees and forces airlines to compensate you for late flights, finally giving American travelers the same rights their European cousins have enjoyed for two decades.
It's the latest in a string of muscular actions taken by the DOT, a period that coincides with the transfer of Jen Howard from her role as chief of staff to FTC chair Lina Khan to a new gig as the DOT's chief of competition enforcement:
https://prospect.org/infrastructure/transportation/2024-04-25-transportation-departments-new-path/
Under Howard's stewardship, the DOT blocked the merger of Spirit and Jetblue, and presided over the lowest flight cancellation rate in more than decade:
https://www.transportation.gov/briefing-room/2023-numbers-more-flights-fewer-cancellations-more-consumer-protections
All that, along with a suite of protections for fliers, mark a huge turning point in the US aviation industry's long and worsening abusive relationship with the American public. There's more in the offing, too including a ban on charging families extra for adjacent seats, rules to make flying with wheelchairs easier, and a ban on airlines selling passenger's private information to data brokers.
There's plenty going on in the world – and in the Biden administration – that you have every right to be furious and/or depressed about. But these expert agencies, staffed by experts, have brought on a tsunami of rules that will make every working American better off in a myriad of ways. Those material improvements in our lives will, in turn, free us up to fight the bigger, existential fights for a livable planet, free from genocide.
It may not be a good time to be alive, but it's a much better time than it was just last week.
And it's only Thursday.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/25/capri-v-tapestry/#aiming-at-dollars-not-men
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daddyricsdoll · 10 months
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The guy coming home to me ✭ Carlos Sainz
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Summary: Investing in a F1 team in the middle of your worldwide tour was very outrageous and threw many questions at you. But of course they didn't know that you happened to date one of the drivers in the team, until a concert in Singapore.
Warnings: None, I know it's so different of me.
Word count: 0.7k
A/N: Based off of this request.
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You try to ignore all the camera’s that surround you, never getting a break whether you're picking up groceries or attending a big sports event. The voices behind the camera’s ask you questions that all revolve around the same thing– Your new sponsorship with Scuderia Ferrari F1 team.
It had come as a surprise to nearly everyone as you were halfway through your worldwide tour and decided to shake hands with a team in a sport you secretly loved. But they didn’t know that, and they also didn’t know about your months-long relationship with Carlos Sainz, one of the two drivers for the team. 
The week of the Singapore Grand Prix had started and you had meticulously planned your concert in the same country and city as one of your favourite races.
So on the Thursday in which all the drivers did media work you sat in a stadium counting the hours until you could do what you love, with the person you love in the same premises. As you received free paddock passes they received concert tickets and tonight happened to be the day everything lined up.
It was a coincidence to people that glanced, but the ones that stared could have noticed it was more. Probably from the times I went to races and interacted with many people but disappeared with a specific someone or when my attention couldn’t be divided between both Ferrari drivers and stuck to one. The one with dark brunette hair and eyes that glisten the same colour. Full and plump lips that I enjoy against mine, compliment his smooth accent and delicate fingers that can show rough. 
Apparently Carlos had been scrutinised about it as well, but listening to his P.R had paid off and he slid out of the situation easily. Therefore when you asked him to attend one of your concerts he accepted but with the company of a few of his fellow drivers. It was under one hour until you were to get on stage and the driver’s decided to give you a little good luck. You greeted them all with hugs, one lasting longer than others but they didn’t notice.
“You gonna do something special for us?” Lando asks jokingly. 
“You gonna get a podium?” You ask in the same tone and manage to gain a chuckle from him. 
You have to cut your conversations short and run off for final costume and makeup touch ups before making your way on stage. But not without Carlos sneaking his way through and wishing you a more personal good luck. He captures your lips in his and then mutter’s a few words against your skin. “Good luck Cariño, but I already know you’re gonna do great.” And in the time he leaves to get seated you stand at the back of the stage waiting for your queue. 
It makes you beam at how the crowd screams when they capture your silhouette and even  better when you actually emerge on stage. Through every song, you catch a glimpse of Carlos, his eyes always on you. 
As it edges closer into the night you realise how fast time has gone by, in which you have reached your last song of this warm night–Karma. You put all of your last energy into this song moving from one end of the stage to the other.
As you reach the near end of the bridge you make your way to the end of the stage with your eyes stuck on Carlos’ it was more than obvious. “Karma is the guy on the tracks, coming straight home to me.” You point at him with a proud smile as red and yellow fireworks emit into the sky accompanied by the same colours of confetti and lights.
You continue singing but can’t hold back your laughter as the faces of everyone in the stadium alter, especially the drivers. They all start shouting and bunch around Carlos with wide grins on their faces, including hints of curiosity. Through the crowd you manage to catch a glance of Carlos and you couldn’t be happier with the expression he wears. His big smile as his friends jump around him and confetti covers them all. He catches your eye and mouths “te amo”, you mouth it back and let out a content sigh, happy that he is the guy coming home to you.
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Are You Reckless or Not?
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Warnings: None
Summary: A party you didn’t care to attend would lead to the best night of your life.
*gif is not mine
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The party was in full swing, cheerful voices raised in celebration of your group’s arrival and acceptance. It was a nice thought and you appreciated the gesture, but after an hour in the company of privileged people who had never experienced the harsh reality of the world outside of their gates, you began to wish that was exactly where you were. 
You knew who you were out there, who you had adapted to be. No longer the weak dependent duckling that followed on the heels of protectors. You could take care of yourself. 
And the very reason for that sat with his back against a tree near the pond. 
You had missed him at the party, not really sure why when you knew he wouldn’t come. As you drew nearer, however, his intention to do just that was clear. He was clean; hair washed and his skin clear of blood and grime. He wore his vest over a fresh shirt and a pair of dark jeans that had noticeably been patched but still donned a considerably less number of holes. 
“Hey, Bowstrings. Whatcha doing out here?” Daryl looked up at you as you smoothed your hands down the back of your blue cocktail dress—thanks, Rosita—and sat beside him with your legs outstretched. You’d normally mimic his position: knees drawn up with forearms balanced across them. That night, it would definitely be considered unladylike, given that your attire was barely covering the entirety of your thighs. 
You could feel his eyes lingering on you as you soaked up the view. The pond was nothing special during the day. There were houses lining the other side, any flowers surrounding it sparse in number. At night, though. At night, with the moon shining on the surface of the water and the fireflies delicately dancing, it was beautiful. 
“Why ain’cha at the party?” He finally rasped. He had returned his gaze to the water. 
You shrugged. “Really just isn’t my scene. Why didn’t you come?” You countered, smiling at the sidelong glance he afforded you that clearly said seriously? You bumped his shoulder with yours and chuckled. “You obviously thought about going.”
“Mhm.” The archer plucked a blade of grass, rotating it between his fingers. 
“Why?” 
He looked at you, the surprised expression morphing into his usual indifference so quickly that you may have missed it had you not known him as well as you did. Clearing his throat and looking away as you narrowed your eyes, he mumbled an I dunno, blending the words into a series of sounds and syllables. 
“Oh yes you do.” You bumped his shoulder again and then again when he didn’t answer. “Come on, I tell you everything.”
Daryl scoffed and discarded the grass. “Didn’t ask to be your human diary.” To anyone else, he would have seemed annoyed but it was you. You knew he was simply being Daryl. You leaned to lay your head against his bicep, blinking up at him with pleading eyes. 
“Please.” 
“You’re a pest.” He bounced his shoulder, effectively shrugging you off. You continued to stare at him, watching smugly as he dropped his casual demeanor and sighed. “There’s a, um…a—a girl, woman. A woman.”
The jealousy that tapped on the door of your heart was pushed aside in favor of supporting the man that had somehow managed to become your best friend at the end of the world. “Oh? The great Daryl Dixon has a crush?”
“Ain’t twelve, Y/N.” He huffed. You chuckled. 
“What would you call it then?” His brow furrowed in thought but after a moment, he simply grunted. “That’s what I thought.” You forewent the satisfaction and swallowed hard. “Who is she?”
Daryl went rigid. No longer playful but absolutely invested in his potential happiness, you moved closer and placed your head on his shoulder. 
“You know,” you began with a deep breath, “I’d never judge you. You know I wouldn’t. I just want you to be happy, Daryl. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Your fingertips lightly brushed over his wrist, sliding down to lace your fingers through his. “You can tell me or not. It doesn’t matter. I’m here now and I’ll be here when you bag this girl because who could ever resist your southern charm?” He began to relax against you, his shoulders bouncing with a breathy huff of a laugh. 
“You’re so dense sometimes.” 
You sat up straight, not veering straight toward anger. You were confused. What exactly had you said that would make him refer to you as dense? “What the hell, Daryl?” He was staring at you, that unreadable expression you had always been able to decipher was actually successful. You had no idea what the man was thinking. “Is it someone I know?” You finally queried. His chin dipped slightly in a nod. 
You didn’t know anyone from Alexandria. So it was someone from your group. Sasha. Maybe Rosita. He had done a lot of tracking with Michonne. She fit the bill too. Capable and clever, beautiful but deadly. Maybe it was Carol. He’d told you once that Carol was his best friend and it “weren’t like that” with her. It had to be Michonne.
Smiling, you took a trembling breath. Daryl could read you like a book and had to know you were seconds away from tears but you pressed on. Maybe if he admitted it to you, actually speaking it out into the universe, he would gather the courage to admit it to her. “Who is it, Daryl?”
He didn’t move, staring at you with those blue eyes, the unfiltered light of the moon giving their color a hint of silver. His index finger bent to scratch against the side of his thumb, one of his automatic responses to an anxious situation. You waited him out but he never spoke. He just looked at you, his eyes piercing as if searching your very soul. 
Clearing your throat, you tilted your head. “Well? Are you gonna tell me or not?” You tried for a laugh but it came out as a weak noise that reeked of desperation. You were quick to pull yourself together and play it off with a smile. 
He remained unmoving aside from the finger scratching against his thumb. It was almost instinct to stop him, your fingers wrapping around the shorter digit to place a buffer between it and his finger. After a moment, you uncurled your fingers and pulled back your hand only for his to catch it, pull it back, and hold it against his knee. 
“Daryl?”
He smirked and looked back toward the pond, shaking his head. “Dense.”
Confusion wasn’t the word you would use to describe how you felt. Was there another term? One that meant your head had emptied of every viable thought to try and form any sort of hypothesis for his behavior?
“I don’t—” Your mouth snapped shut when he looked at you again, face stoic but eyes alight with emotion. His hand tightened around yours and you gasped. 
Daryl chuckled again. “Finally.” Your mouth was moving but no words, no sounds, were emerging. The archer smirked again and released your hand in favor of wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you in against his side. 
You looked up at him, blinking, so incredibly lost. You weren’t beautiful like Rosita. You weren’t fearless like Sasha. You weren’t cunning like Michonne. You were just you. You tripped over your own feet. You always managed to overcook the squirrels. You were never able to keep quiet when he took you hunting. 
With your brain belittling you so loudly, you hardly noticed when he angled his head to gaze down at you. He gave you a gentle shake and muttered quit it. 
You sucked in a breath. “Why me?” 
“Why not you?” Was it just you or was he getting closer? Within seconds, he had hooked a finger beneath your chin, his breath warm against your lips. “This okay?” You heard him gulp, knew he was stepping out of his comfort zone. He was doing it for you. 
“More than.” You whispered, barely uttering the last word before his mouth slotted over yours. The kiss was clumsy, uncoordinated, and absolutely perfect. As his lips caressed your own, your eyes fluttered closed, the moon disappearing behind the clouds to leave only fireflies to be your lantern when you broke apart. Breathless, heart beating a tattoo into your ribs, you smiled and brought a hand to his cheek, your thumb rubbing over the stubble he kept there. 
His expression was soft, more open than you’d ever seen it. “S’always been you.” He proclaimed quietly, leaning back in for another kiss, that one more controlled but no less passionate.
As you melted into him, his gentle touches calmed your fears for the time being. With a manifold of fireflies and a soundtrack provided by the stereo from the party across the street, you allowed yourself that perfect moment. 
As surprising as it was, in a world of death and cruelty, you had managed to find something new and beautiful.
No. 
He had found you. 
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earl-grey-teacake · 29 days
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so how are we feeling after that news.
I am not sure how I feel about everything since I just keep finding out more stuff and it makes me feel worse and worse. I’m sad, and upset, and it feels like a tinge of grief. Not for my own dreams or aspirations but for Logan’s. That being said, I will continues writing my Baby!Loscar AU and I will continue/ start my other Loscar fics. I feel like it is a tough time and I hope to make it a little bit lighter.
I think my biggest feeling is overall disdain and disgust for how Williams went about this. My biggest issue is the whole situation being portrayed as “Williams is a business, this was a business decision. No emotion here” Businesses are not faceless entities, they are teams of people. It’s why teams put a lot of effort in PR and companies invest so much in HR. They are comprised of people and we as spectators and fans also play a role in the business that is Williams. Fandoms are profitable, fan content keeps people engaged, and those who are engaged spend money. This decision has shot William’s PR and whatever goodwill they managed to achieve last year. Logan is a martyr in the eyes of fans and James Vowles has come off as a deranged man. For the past month, any comments to the media are either of him passive-aggressively calling Logan a failure or thirsting after Carlos in a way that makes me want to call HR.
This decision isn’t even a money decision either. They talk about the upgrades, and need for points but are putting their faith in a driver that is clearly being brought up from F2 too early. They are taking risks that genuinely make no sense to me and I am afraid it may damage this new rookie’s confidence on top of it.
I cannot tell if James Vowles is doing this because he wants to live a bit wild before Carlos comes, has a vendetta against Logan, or he is just off his rockers.
I am happy Logan is out of there though and wherever he goes, I go. I hope he goes to Indycar. This is not me seeing Indycar as so lesser sport where unsuccessful F1 drivers should go it. I have great admiration for Indycar and genuinely enjoy watching it more than F1. My wish for Logan to go to Indycar is for the general vibe and how friendly everyone is and for the fact that I live 3 hours away from a track and will absolutely take PTO to see Logan race.
Personal feelings are below if anyone wants to read them.
I got into F1 last year around September but really dove into it around the beginning of November. Logan was someone who never really stood out to me in the beginning but I began to notice him more and more around October and November and I couldn’t help but sympathize for him. I remember how anxious I was waiting for him to be re-signed and the relief I felt when it happened.
I wanted him to do well and succeed so desperately and as it became more and more apparent that James and Williams, were doing, I became a bigger and bigger fan of him. I know I’ve mentioned it briefly on here before but near the end of last year and the first half of this year, I was dealing with a toxic workplace and an abusive supervisor. As the months went on, the treatment towards me got worse and worse and so did Williams’s treatment of Logan. Our workplace started to mirror each other.
The remarks, the veiled threats, the passive-aggressive comments that points to the same message “you’re under-performing, you’re not good enough”. Most of all, the expectation to practically perform miracles with tools and equipment that was vastly behind the rest of the field. I know very well how heavy and oppressive the work environment must have been. I can’t imagine how awful it must have been to have to be doing it everyday, to have to perform for the public like everything is fine, and take the abuse from James, from journalists and commentators, and social media. I was already breaking under my supervisors treatment of me, I definitely would have snapped in Logan’s shoes. However, while my supervisor got kicked out of their position, Logan was the one who got kicked off the team. I do hope he takes the summer to enjoy himself and heal.
I feel so bad for him and I’m so upset at how I didn’t know this was his last race. I had Abu Dhabi planned out thinking that was going to be Logan’s last and now I’m just a bit crushed.
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ginnsbaker · 1 year
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In Losing Grip On Sinking Ships (9/22)
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Chapter summary: Several weeks later, an unfortunate situation drives Wanda to seek you out, only to be met with someone she least expects.
Chapter word count: 9k
Pairing: Wanda x Reader, Yelena x Reader (heavy in this chapter)
Author's note: And we start the second phase :)
Next chapter: Ten
AO3 | Masterlist 
Taglist: @blackluthxr | @esposadejoyhuerta | @secretbackrooms | @justgotlizzied , @casquinhaa | @marvelwomen-simp | @sunsol-22 | @wandanatlov3r | @kyaraderuwez | @justyourwritter69 | @stanolsevans | @aliherreraaa | @diaryoflife
-
Nine
Five Weeks Later
“By the power invested in me, by the State of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The minister reads from his pamphlet without as much as a glance to the enamored audience.
Wanda hadn’t known that she was going to attend a wedding near the start of autumn; if she had, she’d have been more than ready with an ensemble that’s appropriate for both the event and the cold season. To be fair, Pietro hadn’t known either. Just a week ago, Shannon surprised him with a date, a venue, and a business card of some designer that she commissioned to provide Pietro’s suit for the ceremony. Wanda might have considered it a trap if it hadn't been for the fact that Pietro was the one on his knees with a ring a year ago. Shannon had simply grown tired of his excuses and took matters into her own hands. Wanda still thinks it’s a colossal mistake but his history with women and commitments tracks. She just wants to know how many more of these she’ll have to attend for the rest of her life. 
“You may kiss the–”  
The minister is cut off by Pietro diving in for a sloppy kiss, and the small crowd of thirty people cheer the newly weds. Wanda claps for the sake of being a good attendant. She almost feels sorry for Shannon, but if she wanted this, she probably wanted it for the wrong reasons. 
And, well, karma is a bitch.
Having been sober for exactly thirty-two days, Wanda’s been nursing the same mocktail she’s had before the start of the program, and she finds it difficult to enjoy anything that’s watered-down. A longing to light a cigarette tugs at her, but the establishment's strict no-smoking policy extends even to the outdoor gardens. Pietro asked that she stays until the party’s over, and knowing how much her presence means to him, she reluctantly agreed. 
“Stop brooding at my wedding, for god’s sake.”
It’s Shannon, dressed in her second gown, a simpler one that makes it hard to tell her apart from her bridesmaids.
"Hi, Shannon," Wanda drawls, swirling the tiny ice left in her rocks glass.
"It's Mrs. Maximoff now," Shannon mutters proudly, displaying both her wedding and engagement rings.
Wanda hides her grimace behind her drink. “Try not to get used to it though. I’m pretty sure you’re aware that there had been two other Mrs. Maximoffs in his past.”
“Don’t sass me on my wedding day, it’s just disrespectful.”
“Point taken. I’d offer to get you a drink, but I think that’s just gonna push the stick further up your ass.” 
Shannon sourly responds with one of her signature fake smiles, but Wanda can see through the facade. She takes pride in having hit a nerve.
Taking the seat next to her, much to Wanda's dismay, Shannon changes the subject. "Anyway, your ex-wife is doing exceptionally well at our company. She's managed to turn around all the bad practices that have been going on for ages."
Wanda’s brows stitch together in confusion. “Your company?”
“Stark Industries.” Shannon says, taking a sip of Wanda’s untouched water.
The revelations throw her off. You didn't appear too thrilled when Wanda saw you right after your interview, so she had assumed you either didn’t get the position or you passed up on the opportunity. But what surprised her even more was discovering that someone like Shannon held a high-ranking position at a popular tech company–which now explains where the extreme confidence comes from.
Shannon smirks. “Don’t look so surprised that I work for the number one company in the world.” 
“Number one?” Wanda scoffs, rubbing her nose with her middle finger. “Hardly. And why are you keeping tabs on her?”
“She works in my department and I interviewed her. She was a disaster, by the way,” Shannon says. “But her references were solid. I mean, Scott Lang? I hired her solely by his recommendation.”
Wanda can't help but smile at the mention of Scott, reminiscent of the old days when she used to host dinners for your boss and your co-workers. She doesn’t, however, dwell this time about the people you’ve brought with you when you walked out of her life. The reality is, people take sides, and rightfully, they have chosen yours. 
"I'm happy for her. She's brilliant and hardworking. You won't regret having her on your team," Wanda says softly, her voice a little bittersweet; she remembers a time when she used to be the first one to know every little thing about you, and it's a feeling she misses.
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re hearing this just now?” Shannon smacks her lips together and then fixes her lipstick that has stained the rim of her drink. “I thought I saw you at our lobby right after her interview.” Shannon gives her a knowing look, her eyes filled with a mix of satisfaction and malice. It's as if she's perfectly aware of the unspeakable things you did to Wanda that day.
"Y-You did?" Wanda stammers, her blood rushing to her face.
“I assumed you were seeing each other again. You looked like a lost little housewife in your little jeans and little shirt.”
“I stopped by to bring her food. I didn’t know I had to dress up for that.”
“How sweet,” Shannon says, though her tone is barely mocking. “Well, if you’re not back together, then I have a piece of information you might find useful.”
Wanda leans back on her chair and crosses her arms in front of her. “And what makes you think I’m interested?”
“Because despite my wrong assumptions earlier, it’s clear that you’re still head over heels in love with her,” Shannon says. “Or am I wrong?”
Wanda looks away and takes a sip of her watered-down mocktail and tries to hide the displeasure on her face. 
Shannon takes this as her cue to continue. “She recently changed her address in our database. I know because those things usually undergo my approval.”
You moved out? Wanda hadn't attempted to contact you, but while running errands for her cafe, she had found herself in your area a couple of times. Each time, she observed that your curtains were drawn and the lights in the living room were always turned off.
Wanda looks on quietly as Shannon reaches into her purse, retrieves an eye pencil, and grabs a napkin from the table. With deliberate movements, she begins to scribble on the napkin.
“Here,” Shannon hands Wanda the napkin with your address scrawled neatly on it. “You’re welcome.”
Wanda hesitantly accepts it, and then asks, “Why are you doing this?”
"Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic," Shannon shrugs, though the glint in her eye betrays her nonchalant demeanor. It almost penetrates Wanda’s defenses, but then she says, “Or I’m supporting your unhealthy obsession knowing it won’t lead anywhere.”
Wanda finds herself laughing. Unlike Pietro, Shannon had never treated Wanda delicately, even after her hospitalization. She finds it oddly refreshing and, in a peculiar way, endearing.
Shannon adopts a small, awkward smile herself. 
“Fair enough.” Wanda says, folding the napkin carefully before putting it inside her bag.
Shannon gets up and runs her palms over the creases on her gown. “Good luck, Wanda. I’m sure you’ll be needing a lot of it.” 
Pietro finds her in the gardens, rubbing her arms to keep herself warm. The nighttime breeze isn’t particularly chilly, but Wanda’s always been susceptible to the cold regardless of the season. He looks particularly dashing in the dark blue suit that Shannon picked for him; and with his hair back to its natural brunette color, the similarities between them have become uncanny once again.
“Sorry about that.” Pietro mutters as he approaches.
Wanda tilts her head at him, a playful smile dancing on her lips. "Sorry about what?" she quips, her voice laced with humor. "You mean this wedding?"
Pietro laughs and then shakes his head. “I saw you talking to Shannon and I could tell you weren’t having the best time.”
Wanda doesn't hold back as she speaks her mind. "She's still a bitch," she says bluntly, not mincing her words. "No offense."
“Do I hear fondness in the way you said ‘bitch’?” 
“Not a chance.”
“Between me and her, you forget I’m actually the asshole, right? I know she told you I cheated on her countless times.�� Pietro says, somewhat seriously.
“You are,” Wanda says. “But I stand by what I said.”
Pietro sighs. “Anyway, I’m not here to negotiate how you feel towards my wife. I’m here to say goodbye.”
Wanda sobers at that. She’s been so used to having her brother in the same city, a call and a cab away. 
“You’re returning to LA?”
“The day after tomorrow.” Pietro confirms with a nod. 
“Doesn’t she work at Stark Industries?”
“Oh, did I tell you that?” 
“She told me a while ago.” Wanda says.
“She can work remotely,” Pietro explains. “And she prefers doing that from our home in LA.”
The wind begins to pick up, its gentle breeze evolving into a stronger gust. The air becomes alive, stirring the surroundings and causing leaves to dance and swirl in a mesmerizing display. 
Wanda sweeps her hair back from her face, and asks, “Tell me, honestly, why did you stay here for so long? Even before the–” Wanda finds herself having difficulty naming the accident she had more than a month ago. 
But if there’s something she’s learned from therapy so far, it’s that confronting her inner demons requires acknowledging their existence.
“Before my overdose.” Wanda finishes, managing to keep her tone even.
Pietro regards her with a tender look that conveys his immense pride in her recent growth and progress.
“At first, I just wanted to check in on you,” he says, fiddling with the cuffs of his suit. “And when I saw you and the cafe, I thought ‘see, she doesn’t need you’. But at the same time I also realized it was me–I needed you.”
Pietro pauses and rubs the back of his neck–something he does a lot when he’s trying not to be emotional. 
"I missed you, Wands. These past few months, I've felt more like myself than I have in years. I know I'm free to visit you anytime, even when you and Y/N were still together, but it's just not the same when–"
“–when it’s just us.” Wanda finishes for him, her voice thick with emotions that her brother is trying so hard to hold at bay.
“Yeah. I had a really great time with you here, it was good to be home after so many years.”
“LA is your home.” Wanda reminds him. 
"You're my family, Wands," Pietro says, wrapping an arm around her and giving her a warm side hug. "You're my home too."
“I love you, Piet.” 
“I love you too, sis,” Pietro says. “I’m rooting for you–your happiness. Whether it’s with Y/N or someone else or no one. You deserve to be happy. You have a big heart–I know this because you love me just as I am.”
“Then why don’t you just stay here so we can be close to each other all the time?” Wanda sniffs. So many losses. So many changes. Wanda craves normalcy and consistency–things you used to provide in her life with your steady presence.
“Shannon’s family lives in LA, and we’ve already talked about settling there once we’re married.”
Wanda shakes her head, smiling in contempt.
Pietro notices the change in her demeanor and starts rubbing her arm in comfort. “Don’t blame Shannon for this. I suggested it because she’s more comfortable living there if we’re going to start a family.”
“You’re already talking about babies? Piet, that’s a huge step.” she says.
Pietro falls into a thoughtful silence, weighing the decision of whether to share the news with Wanda now or wait a little longer. However, the anticipation and joy of becoming a father soon overpowers his doubts.
With a burst of excitement, he finally speaks up. "Actually, she's pregnant."
"Wow," Wanda exclaims, embracing him tightly, more than thrilled at the news. But as suspicion creeps in, she pulls away abruptly. "Hold on, is that why you rushed into marriage? Because she's pregnant?"
“No. She actually just told me last night, as a wedding gift.” Pietro says. 
“I’m going to be an aunt?” Wanda giggles. “I mean, congratulations! You’re going to be a dad!”
"Thank you, Wands," Pietro says, returning the hug.
Wanda pauses for a moment, a realization dawning on her. "I should stop being mean to her," she admits.
Pietro chuckles. "My advice is to take everything she says or does with a grain of salt."
Wanda's expression softens. "I'm going to miss you, you know? Your future kid, and, fuck it–even Shannon. I'll try to visit this Christmas, okay?"
"You better. I already got you plane tickets."
“Oh, and Piet?”
“Yep?”
“I’ll cut your balls off if you cheat on your wife again this time. Not because she’s having your child, but because it’s… not normal. It’s fucked up. We’re fucked up. The stakes are higher for you now, but even if it wasn’t, it just ruins everything in its wake. it's the biggest regret of my life," Wanda states firmly. Although she feels like a hypocrite as the words escape her lips, she feels compelled to express her feelings in the hope that it carries some weight.
“I know,” Pietro says, looking down at his feet. “I’ve been seeing a professional for two months now.”
“You are?”
Pietro smiles and takes Wanda’s hand, leading her back inside the reception. “Where do you think I got your therapist from?”
***
"You've really nailed it with this restaurant choice," Natasha exclaims at you, her fork stabbing into the juicy medium-rare steak. Her mouth waters as the meat releases its flavorful juices. She’s sitting to your left and Yelena’s right, and when you haven’t developed a psychic link with your partner yet, navigating a delicate situation feels like a sailor and a pilot has come together to figure out how a tractor works. 
Natasha had phoned you earlier today, informing you that her flight from Washington D.C. was scheduled to depart in a mere two hours. This left you with approximately three hours to prepare for her arrival, as well as to have a conversation with Yelena on how you’re both going to break the news to her unsuspecting sister. However, due to Yelena's demanding work schedule, it was difficult to abruptly pull her away from her assignment and so you took it upon yourself to organize this impromptu dinner. 
Your girlfriend, in a state of panic, had only just read your texts an hour ago and arrived late. Since then, there has been absolutely zero opportunity to discuss what your relationship entails for Natasha.
Delaying the inevitable, you focus on other topics.
“So, how was your flight?” you ask Natasha.
“Quick.” 
“When did you find out you’re coming home?” you inquire, eyebrows wiggling at Yelena, attempting to seek her support in engaging in the conversation
“The other day.” Natasha says.
“How do you like your steak?”
Natasha gives you a funny look.
Shifting in your seat uncomfortably, you try to think of more questions to ask, but Yelena beats you to it.
“We’ve been seeing each other.” she announces over her plate of untouched meatballs. 
Your eyes widen in alarm as you look at Yelena, but she nonchalantly shrugs at you, then whispers, "I thought that's what you were trying to tell me with your eyes."
Natasha serenely savors her steak, taking a graceful sip of wine before responding, "Yes, I'm aware."
Surprised, you murmur, "How did you...?"
With a hint of amusement, Natasha replies, "If I were to reveal my skills, I would be violating at least ten pages of a non-disclosure agreement."
"Right," Yelena huffs, a feeling of ease finally settling over her. She indulges in her own plate, eagerly digging in and savoring each bite.
“You know,” You start, shoulders dropping and feeling some of the tension leave your body. “I thought I’m used to what you do, but it’s still weird that you disappear for several weeks and then you come back like,” you snap your fingers. “And we can’t ask you questions.”
“It’s why I love my job so much. People are literally not allowed to ask questions,” Natasha says with a satisfied smirk, dabbing her lips with a napkin. “But I can. So, how did this happen?” she says, motioning between you and Yelena with her finger.
“Didn’t you already know?” you say with a teasing smile. 
Natasha fixes you with a piercing gaze, the kind she typically reserves for her job, making you retreat but not before a nervous gulp catches in your throat.
"Yelena?" she prompts, noticing the uncharacteristic silence.
“I, uh–”
"Hotdog sandwich," you blurt out abruptly, interrupting Yelena's non-existent train of thought, while your mind drifts back to the night when you and Yelena officially started dating. Two pairs of eyes fixate on you, their faces a mix of surprise and bewilderment, as if questioning your sanity. Realizing the awkwardness of your outburst, you quickly clear your throat and gather yourself to continue, "I asked her out one night, shortly after I started my new job, and we kind of just decided to give it a shot while eating a hotdog."
When you look up, Yelena’s eyes carry a fondness, effectively deepening the blush on your cheeks.
“That’s a nice story, Y/N, but I didn’t mean literally. More like… how did you arrive at the decision to be together?” Natasha says, her gaze on you unwavering. You avoid her eyes, suddenly determined to finish the remaining vegetables in your dish.
“It came to us organically, Nat. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding a bit cheesy.” Yelena says. 
“I don’t mind cheesy. Cheesy is good. Love is often cheesy, right?” Natasha says, her gaze directed at you. The mention of the word 'love' catches you off guard, and you almost choke on your peas. Although you feel it deep in your heart that you love Yelena, neither of you have actually said those words to each other.
Yelena nods, her expression serious. "Okay, then. It happened because we still have deep feelings for each other, and we felt it was necessary to give it a chance."
You smile, fully understanding and appreciating Yelena's sentiment. "I agree." 
“Can I speak to Y/N in private?” She tells Yelena, who just shrugs, and then turning to you, Natasha says, “Is that okay?”
“Sure.” you reply, rising from your seat.
You and Natasha emerge from the cozy Italian restaurant, deciding to take a leisurely walk through the neighborhood. The rain has just subsided, leaving behind glistening streets and puddles that dot the pavement, making each step a bit precarious. The dampness in the air seems to mirror the tension in your chest, and you can't shake off the feeling that this walk holds more weight than just enjoying the post-rain atmosphere. The droplets on the ground reflect the streetlights, creating a mesmerizing shimmer that momentarily distracts you from your unease. 
Yet, as you walk alongside Natasha, the silence between you only heightens your anticipation for the impending "sister talk." 
You value your friendship with Natasha deeply, and the prospect of jeopardizing that bond fills you with uncertainty. 
Just as your pulse falls into a steadier rhythm, Natasha breaks the silence, her voice filled with a sense of pride. "I'm proud of you," she declares. "Honestly, I half-expected to return and find you still unemployed, living in my apartment. But look at you now: a new job, a new place... and a new girlfriend," she adds, without a trace of animosity in her words.
“I was the crutch you had to get rid of after all.” Natasha says. 
You laugh nervously at the ‘girlfriend’ remark, appreciating the genuine support from your best friend. "I suppose I relied on you heavily after my divorce," you admit. "It was easy to succumb to self-pity and a meaningless routine because you were there to take care of me. Eventually, I knew I was rotting away no matter how indulgent these Netflix shows are,” you laugh a little. “And well, things simply worked out, you know?”
“Yeah, I can see that it worked out pretty well with my sister.” Natasha quips.
"I care about her, Nat. I always have." you say, coming to a stop to face Natasha and properly look her in the eye.
Natasha nods and takes hold of your elbow, urging you to continue walking. "I know," she acknowledges, a knowing smile touching the corners of her lips. "She may not have shown it earlier, but she’s giddy as fuck. Kind of grosses me out seeing her eyeing you like a piece of candy.”
“But kidding aside, you have my blessing.” Natasha says, and you give her a soft smile in return.
A slight pang of guilt tugs at your heart as you decide not to mention your encounters with Wanda. You understand why Natasha requested this private conversation, and you don't wish to complicate matters by bringing up the brief rupture caused by your connection with Wanda. You and Yelena had reached a mutual understanding regarding Wanda, recognizing that your current relationship should not be overshadowed by your past with your ex-wife. 
Besides, you haven’t talked to Wanda since you and Yelena entered into a relationship. Things have been going well; consequently, you see no justifiable reason to stir up any unnecessary complications or rock the boat.
But nobody reads you the way Natasha does, as she brings up the person you’ve been trying to forget all this time.
“And Wanda? Is that over?”
Lying to Natasha is akin to attempting to deceive a lie detector machine; there’s just no way out of it but the truth–or at least some of it.
“We were briefly in touch,” you admit, carefully filtering the story in your mind as you speak. "Coincidentally, she happened to be at the same club where Clint organized your going-away party."
Natasha raises an eyebrow; you read her well enough too, and it tells you that she hadn’t had an inkling that Wanda had reentered your life at one point.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Natasha asks, the level of her tone masking how she feels about that new information.
“Because you hate her?” You say, daring her to deny it but Natasha only rolls her eyes. “And, uh, I don’t know… Maybe because I knew you’d be disappointed?”
Natasha takes a deep breath, the crisp evening air filling her lungs as she gathers her thoughts. "Did I," she begins, "did I push you into making choices in the past that you weren't entirely comfortable with?"
"Why would you say that?" you inquire, puzzled by Natasha's question.
Natasha's gaze softens, and she replies with earnest sincerity, "Because I never wanted you to feel like you couldn't be completely open with me about anything. I never wanted you to fear my judgment regarding your decisions."
You wonder if Natasha would say the same thing if she knew you had fallen into Wanda’s bed post-divorce. You think about how Natasha urged you to file for it in the first place, how she helped in preparing everything from finding a suitable lawyer to ironing out the details of the agreement. Despite your emotional state during that period, you acknowledge that you made those decisions and chose to take responsibility for them.
“You’re like family to me, Nat. Of course your opinion of me will always matter.” you say.
“I’m happy you stood by your decision without me,” Natasha says. “I was worried you’d go back to her as soon as I was gone.”
A nervous smile tugs at the corner of your lips as your eyes flit to anywhere but your best friend; the weight of deliberately concealing a significant portion of the story makes you want to crawl out of your skin. Now more than ever, you regret being with Wanda that way. It had every potential to jeopardize your friendship with Natasha.
“How about you and Bruce?” you say, taking the spotlight away from yourself.
Natasha’s smile is sad as she shakes her head. “That ship has sailed. For good.”
“I’m sorry.” you say.
“Don’t be. He can finally allow himself to be happy. He’s a good man. He deserves more than I can give him.”
“What about you?”
“I’d like to believe I deserve more than he’s willing to give,” Natasha says, her voice not harboring any resentment; but it’s clear that she has accepted the fact that their desires and needs diverged, leading them down separate paths. 
“Are you happy?” you ask suddenly, widely curious.
Natasha takes a moment to reflect, her eyes scanning the surroundings. "As happy as I can be," she contemplates. "I've learned that life shouldn't solely revolve around falling in love, you know? I have my work, my sister, my friends, and well, you're not that bad either," she adds with a light-hearted chuckle.
Turning the last corner back to the restaurant, you both bump into Yelena who’s wearing a frown after being left for so long.
“You were both gone for a while already so I thought I’d settle the bill and join you guys for a walk.” Yelena says. “You guys are okay, right?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?” you say, taking her hand and interlacing your fingers together.
Natasha ignores Yelena’s question and says, “How much do I owe you for the food?” 
Yelena pushes the receipt in her sister’s hand and says, “Everything.”
Settling beside Yelena on the bed, you reach for the lamp on your nightstand and switch it off. The room is cast in a soft, bluish glow, as the moon's radiance filters through the blinds. It hasn’t been too long since you and Yelena started sharing this room, and despite initially intending to take things slow, the pace of your relationship accelerated naturally. With busy careers, it felt right to embrace the opportunity to spend more time together without the added complexities of planning and scheduling dates.
“It was weird introducing you to Nat as my girlfriend,” Yelena says, turning on her side to face you as soon as your head hits the pillow.
"I think you handled that quite smoothly," you say with a quiet chortle, the sarcasm failing to come across as strongly as intended.
"You were absolutely perfect though," Yelena whispers, her hand gently cupping your cheek as she pulls you in for a kiss. It begins with a slow, tentative pace, reminiscent of the other kisses you have shared since becoming a couple. 
Tonight, however, there's an undeniable intensity in Yelena's kisses that sends a fiery sensation rippling through your body. Her touch, tracing the skin below your belly button, ignites a rush of heat that intertwines with the passion of the moment. With your hands threaded in her hair, you boldly deepen the kiss, your tongue exploring the depths of her mouth, eliciting a surprised moan that you eagerly swallow.
As Yelena's fingers venture past the waistband of your underwear, a sudden jolt of surprise shoots through your body, causing you to abruptly sit upright. In the process, Yelena loses her balance and falls back onto the bed.
“Y/N?”
"Sorry," you stammer, attempting to calm your nerves and the racing of your heart. "I just remembered I have an important work email I haven't sent yet and..."
Yelena nods understandingly. "Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I've got some editing to do anyway."
You offer a grateful smile and lean in to press a tender kiss on her forehead. Then, you trail another moist kiss just below her ear, eliciting a soft sigh from Yelena's lips. 
“I’ll wait up, okay? Hurry,” Yelena purrs against your neck. 
“I’ll be back.” you say.
At half past midnight, you return to a snoring Yelena, her arm sprawled over the empty spot where you’re supposed to be. It was one email and you got carried away. And even if Yelena’s awake, you’re too exhausted to continue earlier’s steamy exchange.
Carefully, you remove her arm from your side of the bed and mold yourself to Yelena’s sleeping form. 
You haven’t had sex with her yet. The desire is there–a hot burning coal of it–and you have entertained the thought numerous times, but each time the moment draws near, you find yourself hesitant and not quite ready to take that step. It's a decision you have consciously made, respecting your own boundaries and wanting to ensure that the timing feels right for both of you.
Kissing the back of Yelena's head, you savor the softness of her hair against your lips. With a contented sigh, you nuzzle your nose into her locks, finding comfort in her presence as sleep gradually envelops you.
***
“Ms. Maximoff? Over here.”
Wanda looks up to find Sparky’s doctor motioning for her to come inside the check-up room. She gets up and hurries to where Sparky has disappeared into for almost twenty minutes now, and sees him hooked up to an IV, dozing off on his side. 
“Is he going to be okay?” Wanda asks immediately.
“The results of Sparky’s blood test don't look good. His liver is significantly higher than the normal range, and that could be the cause of his recent vomiting. For now, we’ll keep him confined here for one or two more days, depending on his condition, and if he’s responding to medication, you can continue giving them at home.”
“And what if he doesn’t respond to his medication?”
“We will conduct further tests to see what’s going on there. Surgery could be an option, depending on the outcome. While liver diseases in dogs can be treated and managed, there is always the possibility of expiration, I’m afraid.”
Expiration. Dogs have significantly shorter lives; Wanda knows this. But hearing it spoken so soon directly shatters Wanda’s heart. “W-What could have caused this?” she asks.
This is her fault, Wanda makes the conclusion, even before the doctor is done explaining the common causes in detail. She successfully fucked up another important thing in her life. 
In the absence of a little furry baby wagging its tail to greet her, Wanda returns home to a dark and empty apartment. Seeking solace, Wanda clings to the hopeful possibility that Sparky may return home in the next few days. 
Without bothering to turn on the lights, she kicks off her shoes and curls up into a ball on the couch. Her eyes slowly adjust to the darkness, eventually focusing on the small desk where the potted chrysanthemums you gifted her rest. The faint light casts a peculiar shadow on the wall, capturing her attention. Yet, it is the piece of napkin discreetly slipped beneath the pot that her mind is apprehensively fixated to; a thin, fragile thing that would ultimately lead her to you.
It has remained tucked away in Wanda's study, for a month now, as she couldn't bear to disrupt your life once again. She imagines that you are likely doing well, leading a quieter and less tumultuous existence without her. As for Wanda, she has been diligently working on herself, taking each day as it comes. However, the passage of time hasn't diminished her feelings for you, not even in the slightest. The void in her heart, shaped by your absence, remains steadfast, but she has learned to adapt and coexist with it, allowing herself to grow while carrying its weight.
And she wouldn't—not even for a moment—consider disturbing your peace if it weren't for the dog. If your roles were reversed, and you were the one keeping him, Wanda would undoubtedly want to be informed if his brief existence was endangered by an illness.
But then again, you've made your choice. You didn’t want anything to do with her. It was evident in your absence, when you stopped your visits to her apartment, her café; when Wanda's phone could no longer detect any recent online activity from you. You had simply vanished without a trace.
It would be unjust to intrude on your decision when you clearly didn't want to be found.
…And she’s still, quite literally, debating it when she finds herself at your doorstep an hour later.
Your new building looks lavish, Wanda can only imagine how much you’ve spent on the deposit alone. It was a little intimidating when she was asked to leave an ID and the receptionist had to ring your unit to inform you that you had a visitor–dropping her name to you in the process. More interesting than that, however, is that she gave Wanda the go signal to proceed to the elevators, meaning that you gave your consent for her to see you.
There's a sense of relief in realizing that you wouldn't go to the extent of turning her away just to avoid her altogether. She sets aside the questions that her heart desperately wants to ask, knowing they would only thwart the initial intention she has of seeing you.
She is fully aware of how guarded and cautious you were the last time; memories of her well-crafted plans to lure you and get close to you for the obvious reason of winning you back are still fresh in her mind. Wanda understands that she needs to approach this meeting with sensitivity and genuine concern, keeping her intentions clear and focused on Sparky's well-being.
But as she’s about to knock, the door swings open.
“Hi, I–” Wanda’s words die on her tongue and the nervous smile on her face fades into uncertainty.
Standing there, clad in nothing but a t-shirt (which she recognizes having bought it for you) that goes past her thighs, is the woman from the club. The woman who drew the curtains for you in your living room. Her blonde hair cascades in messy beach waves, framing her face and reaching her shoulders. 
She is breathtakingly beautiful. 
But what strikes Wanda the most is how effortlessly the woman seems to blend into the space, appearing more like a tenant than a mere guest who just happened to visit you at this particular time.
Does she live with you?
“Is Y/N home? I’m Wan–” 
"Wanda. I know. I’m Yelena," Yelena interrupts, her tone firm yet not unkind, like she’s struggling as much as the brunette. "She's still at work. Is there something you need from her?"
“You’re Yelena? Natasha’s sister?” Wanda asks.
Yelena nods tentatively, her eyes studying Wanda's reaction; she was surprised to get a call from the reception that a certain Wanda Maximoff wanted to come up to her unit. Despite the nagging question of whether you've been seeing Wanda all this time behind her back, she makes a conscious effort to maintain her composure in front of your ex-wife.
Meanwhile, something in Wanda's mind clicks. It's Yelena, not you, who allowed herself to go up to your floor. It's her, not you, who wanted to meet her. Wanda's mind races with questions. Does Yelena know about her? Did Yelena feel the need to introduce herself to your ex-wife?
"Uh..." Wanda's voice trembles with the onset of a panic attack. It turns out, coming here was a mistake, and she’s just grateful you’re not around to witness it. "I'm sorry. Please forget that I came here. Don't let her know I was here, please? I'm really sorry. I'll just go."
Yelena sucks in her cheeks as she reads into Wanda’s sudden panic. "Sure," she replies before softly closing the door on Wanda.
-
The nights are longer at Stark Industries. You knew what you signed up for when you accepted the job, but now you're starting to feel the repercussions. The stress is taking its toll not only on your work-life balance but also on your relationship with Yelena. You haven’t had dinner together recently, much less a conversation that lasted longer than a few exchanges of “how are you” and “I’m fine”. There’s a lot to make up for, but no date in sight to actually start doing so.
The office is empty except for you and the maintenance worker assigned to the night shift, so when your ringtone cuts through the stillness, the sound of it reverberates off the walls of the empty room, making it too loud for you to ignore.
With your eyes concentrated on a formula on your spreadsheet, you answer your phone without looking at the caller.
“Hey, I’ll be home soon.” you say, assuming it’s Yelena on the line.
“Y/N.” A vaguely familiar voice that’s definitely not Yelena greets you. That’s when you remove your phone from your ear and notice the unknown number on the screen.
“Who’s this?”
The caller doesn’t answer right away. Instead, you can hear rain pouring heavily in the background, something you haven’t been aware of due to the thick windows of the office blocking out outside noises.
“It’s Vision,” The voice cracks over the speaker before you can decide to drop the call. “Wanda needs your help.”
The rain had been relentless throughout the day according to the weather app on your phone. You’ve just been too busy to notice, and so you find yourself without an umbrella. Thankfully, by the time you arrive at the location Vision instructed, the downpour has subsided into a gentle drizzle.
“Jesus, it’s freezing.” you mumble to yourself, wrapping your jacket tighter around your body.
You recognize this part of the city, having gone here numerous times in the past to visit your favorite dive bar where you, Natasha, Clint, and Wanda would hang out for hours just talking and having a good time. Although Natasha and Wanda don’t really talk, they engage in group shots, and Wanda would always challenge you to a game of pool, and you would win one or two matches in a best of seven, because your wife–ex-wife–is just so gifted in just about all kinds of sports. 
However, it's not the same bar where you find Wanda. Instead, it’s near a dead-end street and you stumble upon her slumped against a light post in a sorry state. It's obvious that she has consumed a significant amount of alcohol, leaving her almost blacked out. It makes you suspicious if this happens often–Wanda getting shitfaced in random places with Vision in tow. 
The sight of Vision doesn’t bother you as much as before, but it still leaves a bitter taste in your mouth to see them together in the same place. Vision, to his credit, keeps a respectful distance, yet the yearning in his face is unmistakable. It's a familiar look, one you've witnessed on Wanda's previous boyfriends when they believed you weren't paying attention.
As you draw closer, Wanda's head tilts back, and her intoxicated eyes, heavy-lidded and unfocused, widen ever so slightly in recognition as they lock with yours.
“Y/N? Is that really you?” Wanda drunkenly slurs, her struggling eyes attempting to focus on your face. “If you’re not, please tell Y/N that I’m not with him,” Wanda says, pointing her thumb in his direction, refusing to even look at Vision. “He just showed up out of nowhere and I told him to stay away. I swear, I’m telling the truth. Vision, tell her, please. Tell her to tell Y/N.” 
The street lights become too much for Wanda to bear, and she buries her head into her arms, her knees drawn to her chest. She looks so small and insignificant against the backdrop of a vibrant metropolis. 
Steeling yourself against her sorrowful pleas, you turn to Vision instead. “How did you find her?” you demand.
“I was out with my friends, and happened to pass by this area on our way back,” Vision recounts. “I saw two men trying to take her home, and we intervened. I tried asking Wanda where she lives so I can take her home myself, but she refuses to tell me. I tried calling you using her phone, but I think you blocked her number, so I tried calling you myself.”
You’re inclined to believe him, but there will always be bouts of suspicion lingering on the surface when it concerns Wanda. Though as your eyes return to Wanda’s shivering form, you can’t help but wonder if she would truly rather die in the ditches than accept help from him. For the first time, you find yourself contemplating the possibility of believing her, although a part of you wonders if it's simply your enduring soft spot for her attempting to sway your judgment.
“Thank you,” you say to Vision, surprised to find a little sincerity in your voice.
“If I find out you’re the reason why she’s this miserable, I’m putting everything on the line to make sure you stay away from her.” he declares, igniting a cigarette as you support Wanda, draping one of her arms over your shoulder and lifting her up. In that moment, she feels noticeably lighter than before, and your hand can discern the protrusion of her ribs as you secure her against your side.
“Is that a threat?” you say, clenching your jaw, your own clothes getting soaked fast, not realizing early on just how drenched Wanda is from the rain.
“It’s a warning,” Vision answers coolly. “As far as I know, you haven’t atoned for anything. And it’s not because you don’t deserve it. It’s because of her.”
He’s right–you walked out of that bloodied room unscathed from the law. All along you thought the consequences of what you’ve done to Vision just miraculously resolved on its own with the help of Natasha, but if Wanda had anything to do with how you’re not being served with at least damages for physical assault, what price did she have to pay in return?
It’s a conversation for later–you don’t need Wanda to protect you, especially if it means being coerced into complying with Vision's demands.
“I’m ready for anything,” you tell him, goading him with a smirk as you feel Wanda nestle closer to you, seeking your warmth. “Now, get your jacket off her and I’ll take it from here.”
As Vision gently takes off the garment from Wanda's shoulders, your eyes catch sight of a distinct mark on her finger, a faded indentation left by a ring that she no longer adorns.
-
Upon arriving at Wanda's place, there is no sign of Sparky. You feel a twinge of disappointment, as you had been somewhat anticipating him despite the circumstances. However, your attention swiftly turns to Wanda, who appears even worse now that you have brought her home: her lips are dry and pale, the flush all over her face down to her neck is still there, and she feels excessively warm to touch, almost as if she is–
“Shit, you’re burning up,” you mutter as you place your hand on her damp forehead.
Then all of a sudden, Wanda forcefully pushes you away, her hand covering her mouth, as she rushes towards the bathroom. In her haste, the straps of her sandals snap, breaking under the pressure. Swiftly, you trail behind her, conscientiously removing your shoes along the way to prevent leaving any dirt tracks on her pristine floor. 
When you enter the bathroom, you find Wanda hunched over the toilet, emptying her stomach. Grimacing at the sight, you kneel beside her and carefully gather her dark hair, holding it up while you wait for her to finish. Once she's done, you flush it down for her. Wanda, seemingly drained, rolls away from the toilet and crawls towards the shower where she simply sits in one corner, closing her eyes with the clear intention of settling down for the night right there.
Faced with a decision, you find yourself contemplating your next course of action. You weigh the responsibilities you had undertaken which was to get Wanda to her apartment safely. What happens to her thereafter should no longer be your concern. After all, Yelena is most likely still waiting for you back at home.
Home. A year ago, the extent to which your definition of it has changed would have been unimaginable.
“Y/N,” Wanda’s weak voice draws your attention away from your thoughts. “You should g-go.” she says hoarsely.
Your fingers close around the doorknob, silent and unmoving, as anger wells up within you; Anger at Wanda for getting herself into this mess. Anger towards Vision for asking you to come to her rescue. Anger at yourself for feeling unable to leave Wanda behind, despite everything.
"Did she tell you about me? I told her not to, Y/N. I'm so sorry..." Wanda's whisper reaches your ears, her eyes remaining shut and her head tilted back, revealing the graceful column of her neck. You instinctively avert your gaze.
“What are you talking about?” you ask.
“I-I went to see you. But she said you were still working. I didn’t mean to intrude, I just wanted you to know about Sparky…”
She? Yelena? You didn’t think Yelena would allow Wanda to go up to your apartment just like that.
"He's not well," Wanda continues, her gaze focused on your face as she takes in every detail of it, as if trying to capture the memory of you in case this is the only opportunity she gets.
Your grip on the doorknob tightens. So that explains why Sparky is nowhere to be found.
“I’m sorry to hear that. What happened? Is he okay?”
Wanda hiccups, thoughts too jumbled to put together anything coherent. "Liver–not normal," she manages to say, her voice trailing off. She had convinced herself that she wanted to see you for a legitimate reason, but as she gazes at you now, it becomes painfully clear that it was her deep longing for you that has ultimately prevailed.
"Is there anything I could-" you start to offer your help, your concern for Sparky overriding whatever tension lingers between you and Wanda.
"You should leave, Y/N," Wanda interrupts, mustering the strength to open her eyes and meet yours. The shame and despair swirling in those green orbs are hard to ignore, but you try to remain steadfast. "She's probably worried about you."
You chew on your lower lip for a moment, and then, instead of doing as she says, you close the door behind you. Silently, you begin removing your own clothes, stripping down to your underwear.
"I have to dry them anyway," you mumble after feeling the weight of Wanda's stare. "Come on, let's fix you up and get you ready for bed."
Wanda reaches for the hem of her shirt, her hesitation evident as she refrains from removing it. Sensing her struggle, you take the initiative, hoping to expedite the process so you can attend to her needs and leave soon. With gentle care, you lift her shirt up and over her head, exposing her trembling form. 
That's when you notice it–her wedding ring that Wanda used to wear on her finger, even after your divorce. But now it has taken on a new form, transformed into a pendant hanging delicately from a chain around her neck. It rests there, nestled between her breasts, a symbol of a past chapter in her life–and yours–that she carries with her, in a different way.
Wanda notices where your eyes are lingering and removes the necklace herself when you remain passive and unmoving. 
The next task is unclipping her bra, and as your fingers reach for the hooks, Wanda's hand covers yours, halting your actions.
“Is this–I mean, do you think should…?” she stammers out, and you’re unsure if the blush on her face is still from the alcohol.
"It's nothing I haven't seen before," you say, feeling your own face heat up. "I think you have a fever. I need to get you out of these wet clothes, is that okay?"
Wanda nods meekly, giving her consent.
A few seconds later, Wanda is naked except for the pink she wears on her cheeks. You help her get up and move under the shower. You twist and turn the knob of the shower until you find the desirable temperature, and then start shampooing Wanda’s hair. 
As the water cascades over her and rinses away her self-loathing, Wanda finds herself surrendering to your care, allowing her to cherish this rare, tender moment she never knew she’d get to experience again. She is grateful for the water, realizing how weary you must be of seeing her cry; it’s just not possible to restrain herself from it when you’re this gentle with her.
“Can you handle the rest?” you ask Wanda, putting your hands under the shower to get rid of the soap.
“Yes,” she answers.
“Okay. I’ll go get some towels.”
Collecting both yours and Wanda's clothes from the floor, you quickly step out of the bathroom before you can start processing what you’ve just done.
Don’t think, just do, you say to yourself as you put the clothes in the dryer. 
Don’t think, just do, you repeat as you get fresh towels from the cabinet.
Don’t think.
When you’re both dry and you’re back in your work clothes and Wanda in her pajamas, you accompany her to her bedroom. You tuck her in and touch her forehead once again to check her temperature. The heat still radiates from her body, and it becomes clear that her fever isn't letting up soon. It won’t go down unless she takes something, but with alcohol still in her system, you don’t think that’s a good idea.
Here, drink this," you offer, extending a sports drink to Wanda.
"Thank you," Wanda murmurs, taking a generous sip before returning the bottle to you.
"Try to finish it. You're likely dehydrated," you suggest. Wanda, acknowledging your advice, obediently continues to drink.
“Better?”
Wanda nods with a small smile. “Thank you, Y/N. I’m sorry you had to go through all that trouble. I didn’t think Vision would–”
“You’re welcome,” you interject as soon as she mentions his name. “We’ll talk soon.” 
Wanda's gaze remains fixed on her folded hands in her lap. "You don't have to," she whispers. "You don't have to talk to me or see me if you don't want to. I'm sorry. This doesn't happen a lot anymore—not as often as you might think. Just something happened, and... I didn't mean to involve you, Y/N. I'm really sorry."
Something? What exactly happened? Regardless, you don't think it's healthy for Wanda to subject herself to such a high level of intoxication, no matter what the circumstances may be.
"We'll talk soon," you repeat, keeping your tone firm but gentle. "Take care, Wanda. Good night."
-
Yelena is wide awake in the living room, her attention focused on a book resting on her lap as you arrive home. The soft glow of a lamp illuminates her features, casting a gentle light on her face. There's a stillness in the room, interrupted only by the turning of pages and the sound of your footsteps.
You hesitate for a moment, taking in the sight of her. 
"Hey," you greet her wearily. "You're still awake?"
“I couldn’t sleep without you,” she says, somewhat bashfully. "There's salad in the fridge if you haven't eaten." she offers.
You pause for a moment, and then meeting her gaze, you ask, "Do you have something to tell me?"
Yelena levels you with a look, putting her book down, she says, “No. Do you?” 
Taking a deep breath, you tell her you do. “I took Wanda home,” you declare, bracing yourself for Yelena’s reaction but her face remains stoic. There's a flicker of something in her eyes, almost as if she had been anticipating your words.
“Can you clarify?” Yelena finally speaks up when you make no further effort to elaborate.
"In the office, I received a call from Vision," you explain. “He said Wanda needed my help. She was in no condition to go home on her own so I took her.”
“Why didn’t he take her home himself?”
You shrug slightly. "Wanda refused to go with him.”
There's a quiet intensity in her eyes, a depth of emotions that she holds back, yet you can sense them lingering beneath the surface. And then, she asks, “And nothing happened?”
“I helped her get change and manage her fever,” you say. “Nothing else happened.”
Yelena's gaze softens, and any trace of her being bothered by your confession finally reveals itself in the form of a soft sigh that escapes her lips.
"Thank you for telling me," Yelena says, wrapping her arms around your neck. "In that case, I should have mentioned that Wanda came by, and I let her come up here."
"Why didn't you say anything?" you ask curiously.
"She told me not to let you know," Yelena reveals quite casually. "And I didn't think it was important anyway."
You hum in response, grateful for her honesty and openness at least. Although, you sense that there might be more to the story than meets the eye.
"Aren't you going to ask me if I've been in touch with her?" you inquire, unable to ignore the nagging curiosity in your mind. Yelena's seemingly mild reactions in response to her encounter with Wanda is slightly unsettling.
“I wasn’t going to,” Yelena confesses, lowering her gaze before they come back up with a vulnerability that wasn’t there before. “But have you?”
You shake your head in response, indicating the truth. Yelena’s shoulder slackens and she steps closer to you. “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. I missed you,” Yelena mumbles the words like a secret, before capturing your lips in a short, sweet kiss, effectively stealing you away from your thoughts.
"Me too," you whisper back, feeling the day's events weighing on you, you take her hand and guide her towards the bedroom. "Let's go to bed."
433 notes · View notes
terrence-silver · 4 months
Note
would you write something about reader who has baby fever but isn’t dating Terry, she works very closely with him, and he starts picking up how much she wants to have a baby
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Fringe Benefits
Terry Silver x Reader
Each of his future employees got this questionnaire.
It was standard procedure, they said.
Basic inquiries, you supposed. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing you haven’t encountered before. Qualifications. Education level. Past recommendations. Experience level. Why you wanted to work here in particular. Why you considered yourself a reliable member of a team — specifically his team. Your devotion. Devotion, you thought. What did that even mean exactly? Your marital status. Family. Children. Whether you planned any. What you brought to Cobra Kai. To Cobra Kai’s table, that is. What you could offer. The memory of circling each response on the interview application still lingered in your mind like a hazy fog, more so when you sat opposite of him, separated by a black, sleek work desk, immaculately organized and entirely minimalist to a pristine level; something both disorienting and weirdly comforting about the basic aesthetic layout of the dojo gym grounds and the offices adjoined to it, all blue and red neons, creating a vaguely purple sense of womb-like dimness — Terry Silver’s eyes carefully assessing your application paper right before his gaze shot back up at you, speaking with immaculate distinction, yet with ease, like he wasn’t in a hurry whatsoever. You were merely after the job of a junior intern — a starting position; someone who handles basic paperwork, greets people at the registry, makes themselves useful wherever and however is required of them, still, everything felt like you were aiming after the most important position in the world. Perhaps due to the fact there was nobody here and the place felt liminal. Intense. Like you were given every bit of attention contained in the universe by a single person.
-"Most employers —"-
He begins.
 -"They’d consider the responses you circled a professional shortcoming."- 
He points his nose at the document next to his tidily clasped hands. You gulp.
-"Reason enough not to give you a job. Hire someone else instead."-
He explains maintaining near unblinking eye contact and part of you, that anxious bit coiling around in your belly was convinced this was a lost cause; he was about to gently tell you you’re not getting the job but that he nonetheless wishes you all the luck elsewhere. The deep sinking of your stomach interrupted only by the sudden tenderness in his features overcast by a crimson shadow of a halogen ceiling pipe above head; not an expression of pity, but one of possibility. His brows shoot up. This wasn’t standard procedure anymore, to your knowledge. The actual owner of a company conducting interviews so personally. One on one. Usually, it was a manager's manager. A secretary. Someone almost random in the hierarchy of things, giving off the basic impression that these job openings were merely formal and that the empty spots were long since filled and that everyone who came along to these interviews was going to be rejected anyway and they didn’t really care who does the rejecting so long the impression is given they’re actively searching for new staff. But, this guy? His personal investment in this almost daunted you. Was this some sort of marketing trick for his newly opening dojos? To make him seem relatable? Approachable? Humble enough to do this himself?
 -"But, me? Cobra Kai?"- 
Terry Silver’s stare flickers with delight.
-"I actually see it as a perk!"- 
He smiles with a weird innocence, momentarily distracting you from the fact you still had no clue what part of your application elicited such a positive surprise in him. You supposed you just had to go ahead and ask. Something about him instilled a sense of amicable disposition in you.
-"What do you mean, sir?"-
Before the question even passes over the threshold of your mouth, his index finger extends forward, landing precisely on the circled answer about whether or not you plan on getting pregnant any time soon. Your eyes meet. -"Kids."- He’s suddenly serious, chewing that word like it was a morsel intended to be juiced. -”You want them.”- He adds flatly and you weren’t certain if it was an accusation, praise, a mere statement or something he wanted you to further explain yourself on. His finger holds your circled answer hostage, refusing to move from the paper’s surface. Holding it there so long you had ample time to notice the sapphire pinkie ring finger on his hand. -"Says it right here."- He further assesses and once again, it was so hard to read him. His meaning. If he was pleased by this or not. You choose the best policy to appease him regardless of his mood; by being centrist and entirely politically correct. Trying to say everything and nothing. You really needed this job. You didn’t want to flunk it just because your circled an application answer that implied that maybe, perhaps, just maybe, you’d have kids. -"Well, one day, yes. Sure. Not right now, but I’m leaving my options open for anything. Everything."- You shrug, going for honesty of the most inoffensive kind. He actually flashes you a smile full of teeth. His whole face smiling with him in a net of wrinkles. It hits you then that in spite of his age, he was quite handsome. In fact, his age enhanced him. Made him seem warm. Paternal. Well lived. -"Good."- He coos at you, content. -"Because we’re all about devotion here. Dedication. Working with young people. Investing in the future."- There it was. That slightly baffling word again. Devotion. You say nothing. Choosing to listen instead. Avoid weakening your chances here. The fringe benefits were quite stellar from what you’ve discovered. Amazing healthcare, for one. -"And someone who sees a major plus in having kids of their own? That’s exactly the type of people we need. Means they’re built from the right kind of stuff."- A flash of determination overtakes his features and for a moment, you see him grit his teeth. -"I see."- You fill the gap between dialogues with a filler line and he chuckles, somewhat amused, catching you doing it. This place. Disorienting in spite of the AC unit nowhere to be seen, yet you could feel the cool air blowing in from somewhere from within this state-of-the-art, hypermodern setting where every utility seemed tactically hidden.
-"Don’t you wanna know what kind of stuff the right kind is?"- 
You catch a hint of teasing in his tone and you find yourself slightly embarrassed, nodding wordlessly.
Felt like a child examined in class.
-"The type who’s prepared to dedicate their life to something greater than themselves. A belief. A creed. A legacy."- 
He enlightens you.
You could guess what the dojo’s philosophy more or less was in vague terms — it was a dojo, after all and the man in front of you was a triple black belt Sensei in his own right and a Vietnam war vet from what you’ve heard, but you weren’t here to lay down life and limb to larp The Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon with anyone. You just wanted to do paperwork for a decent salary with your employer imbued with the knowledge, that hey, he might have to organize paid maternity leave for you and find a replacement for you in case that ever actually happens. Figuratively, of course. You maintain a serious composure, feeling something you weren’t supposed to feel; scared. Curious. Interested. The fervor with which he spoke? You cross your legs underneath the table and you could swear, for the briefest of moments, Terry Silver’s eyelids flutter down, towards your seat, catching you do it. -"I’m not that impassioned, Mr. Silver. I’m sorry. I just don’t mind the idea of having children one day, in the near or distant future, when all the puzzle pieces fall into their place, if all the puzzle pieces fall into their place, and I’m willing to be transparent enough about it within the context of a work place environment so no surprises happen, is all. I’m not raising the next Spartan army, though. Hope that isn’t a disappointing answer."- You find yourself shrugging once more, this time on instinct, keeping calm, wondering why on earth you were justifying yourself so badly anyway. Sure, you did a basic Google search on this place. And on him. Terry Silver didn’t have any children of his own in the first place. No marriages under his belt either. You almost expected bigwigs like him to have several of each. You weren’t judging, you just felt it was peculiar. He was more than good looking too. So, why was this such a huge topic, anyway? Was this even allowed? He kept the questions about your qualifications to a minimal and then — he laughs, apparently delighted by your response.
 -"Oh, not at all!"- 
He shakes his head, blue eyes practically shimmering.
This felt like one of those weird dreams people tended to have; the type that were almost entirely inexplicable.
-"Cobra Kai isn’t going to let you go or terminate your contract or penalize you if anything unexpected happens. Not my policy. We take care of our own."- 
The tension in your back drops hearing that, almost as if a certain weight was lifted from them.
For a man, Terry Silver was as understanding about maternity as a woman would be.
And then he cocks his head to the side.
-"Wouldn’t be very fair play and Spartan if we didn’t, would it?"-
Clearly, your comment entertained him enough for him to repeat it back to you, producing a new piece of document from a drawer and setting it down in front of you alongside a sleek, perfectly jet black pen. Everything here was black. His suit. His desk. His walls. His floors. His ceilings. You weren’t certain if there were any windows. Difficult to tell. Amidst all that neon lit darkness, the pristine white paper stands out, almost burning. A white block of ice. Matching his pale face and gray hair, briefly resembling a clay death mask. -"Just one last form to fill. Right here. Some final questions and you’re as good as set. Monday sound good?"- His finger points once again, down the dotted line, spilling out information so fast that it took you a second to register the fact he was effectively letting you know you got the job while you were too busy looking at what his finger was showing you on yet another questionnaire, your eyes falling on the first of many inquires. One in particular catching your notice, causing your breath to hitch.
- DO YOU TAKE BIRTH CONTROL?
You weren’t certain how you ended up in Terry Silver’s bed.3
All you knew is that you wanted to.
It was so easy.
Too easy.
It began with a deep yearning; observing a class for students between ages 3-5 five taking their first steps in Kata on the studio’s mat and Terry doing circles around the dojo, assessing their stances, their movements, how they held their tiny arms, their tiny bodies, the enthusiasm in their eyes. His voice was in your ear once he did a full spin throughout the length of his own domain, encompassing everything like a satellite, keen eyes missing nothing, finding himself next to you and your place at the counter, checking filled application forms and the schedule of classes, while fists punched through the air in unison. Exactly thirty two young students working like perfectly tuned clock work. Funny how kids that small could achieve such discipline. Your heart almost ached. -"Natural, raw talent. Gotta start when they’re young."- He chuckles from next to you, observing his handiwork from a relative distance, giving his small acolytes time to spread out. -"Don’t you just get emotional watching them train?"- His eyes dazzle your way, accompanied by a smile and something within your twists as you nod wordlessly, keeping your attention on your folders and files, suppressing the voice inside of you.
 Yeah, wish I had my own, it says.
The months that ensue get harder. It was always the opposite for everyone else, you supposed. The more time they spend at a place of employment, the more the novelty wore off and things tended to settle into their place, but you? You grow restless, leaving the toilet having recovered from an unbidden fit of tears during your lunch break, possibly the second such concealed outburst within just one work week alone, finding no particular reason as to why it happened. Why it kept happening. Nobody was unkind to you here. Quite the contrary. Everyone was like a newfound friend or family, but maybe that’s what made things so difficult; the fact that when you went home every evening, you’d find yourself all alone with nobody to care for. You didn’t even have time to tend to a pet. A cat. A dog. And this wouldn’t be the only occasion he’s cornered you on the topic either. Terry Silver had this uncanny ability to decipher you as upset regardless how craftily you sought to hide it and continue with your work. -"I know what bothers you and I can help."- He corners you in the empty foyer. One thing you learned about him with certainty that he had this habit of invading people's personal spaces. Invading your personal space. Standing too close. The most baffling thing, though --- how much you didn't mind, even as you kept your head bent, gaze averted. You didn't want him to see how obvious it was that you cried even though were certain he guessed.
In spite of that, you fail to recoil once his hand lands on your stomach.
He's done this before. You've let him.
-"Fill the gap right there."-
He whispers and it sends a shiver down your spine.
He came with a proposition a few weeks ago and suddenly, all those peculiar inquires on the job interview questionnaire started to make an awful lot of sense. Too much, in fact. He wasn't just being nosy and scoping out whether or not you'd get impromptu pregnant and leave your own spot vacant for God knows how long. No. It was infinitely more than that. He told you that if you had an itch, he was lending himself available to scratch it. You still haven't given him a yes or no answer on the topic, though and by the looks of it, the devil has come to collect his dues. -"I’m sorry, Mr. Silver, I —"- You stutter, going for avoidance, trying to wiggle out from the closeness of his proximity, but his arm comes up leaning against the wall, cutting your way off.   Already, in your mind, you could see tangled limbs, a spine bending forward and his fingers travelling up your back. Instead, you get a voice. His. You inhale sharply once his thumb came up, caressing the outline of your cheek, the slightest remnant of moisture dabbed again by his lingering touch. You weren't sure how to label your relationship with him. Terry had yet another uncanny gift. The ability to make himself disconcertingly close to someone with little to no effort. You've been fucking the man for three months now and god knows why. Why you craved it. Why it felt right. Confusing, but right. Letting your boss hit it raw? What do you even call that? Stupidity? Desire? Falling in love? Being manipulated? -"Ambition requires it’s sacrifices, doesn’t it? Even small, day-to-day ambitions. The ambitions of a Junior Intern. The sacrifice being family. The fact that I can tell there’s no place you’d rather be right now than at home with someone."- His touch touches your earlobe and you close your eyes.
You haven't been doing good lately.
He caught on.
Thing was, you weren't a girl anymore.
You were still young but you were entering that stage in life were every year mattered more and more. Your contract with Cobra Kai alone was one for two years and you imagined it expiring and you once again having nothing. Going home and finding your apartment empty. Would you have time to build something for yourself? Build anything at all? Instead, Terry Silver's arms were right there. Warm. Inviting. So hard to resist. Bearing the promise of everything you that seemed so close, yet so far out of reach.
-"You want me."-
He coos tenderly. You resist, shaking your head, refusing to open your eyes.
-"No."-
-"You want me."-
He repeats himself with more vigor. More conviction.
No. No. No!
-"This is crazy! I don’t wanna get knocked up at work by my boss who’s twenty years my senior!"-
Instinctively, your hands come up feebly, attempting to serve as a shield between your own body and his, only to get caught and trapped by his grip, fingers grabbing wrists, pulling you closer to him. His smile is shark-like. Sharp. -"Thirty."- He corrects with ease, seeming proud of himself. -"Thirty years your senior."- You didn't know what to say to that. Somehow, it made things worse. The guts inside of your belly tighten with ache. You feel it vibrate between your legs. It was hormones. All hormones, you tell yourself. Hormones had the habit of being senseless and dumb like that. Terry Silver was the one giving you your salary, he was old enough to be your grandfather and he was offering to get you pregnant. For your sake, as he claimed. For his own too. You wanted the same things, he explained. So, why not complete each other's long-standing yearnings? Wasn't that what loyalty was all about? What better foundation for an alliance? A relationship, he asked? Suddenly, he lifts his arm, freeing you. -"And why not? You can leave any time. You still haven't."- His eyes flare up with the light of challenge. You were being taunted and tested and you realized as much, finding your body growing stiff, legs refusing to move. So, why didn't you leave? This was technically sexual harassment at the workplace. Yet, you reveled in it. Consented to it. His offer was tantalizing, the way a cup of fresh spring water was to the someone dying of thirst. Your lips part. The thought of having someone completely your own. Cradling them in your arms. Was that so bad? Instead of your belly, the palm of his hand travels lower, cupping you between your legs. -"It would make you happy and you know it."- He murmurs and you didn't have the strength to fight it. You let him continue. He squeezes you ever so lightly, until you felt an internal pressure tickle you from the inside. The type that craved to be filled. -"And I told you the very first day you walked into my office. In Cobra Kai, we’re all about devotion. Taking care of of our own."- He reminds and you lean your head back, allowing yourself to enjoy the sensation, feeling the back of your neck comfortably hit the wall.
-"I didn’t think you’d be so literal!"-
You mutter, breathlessly, letting him do his special magic.
Rubbing you through the material of your trousers.
His cock in his other free hand, pulled out of the thick, black material of his Gi.
-"I’m always literal."-
He clarifies.
You knew as much now.
Knew well enough to take him seriously.
More seriously than anyone before.
You wanted him. Wanted him to knock you up. Crude, but truthful.
-"Let me help you."- He groans, unzipping your trousers, only to spread your legs, slither his hands behind you and grab you by your ass, lifting you up against the wall, fingers digging into tender flesh with bruising ardor. You moan and yelp. Maybe it was you being touch starved, starved for love, in need of sex, missing companionship, but the fact you were about to impale yourself on his cock in the middle of the corridor seemed of little consequence. It was a Friday evening. Past working hours. -"Let me fix everything. All you have to do is be willing to receive it. Receive me."- Terry speaks against your open mouth and you mumble into his, already seeing the future unfold. Feeling it on his breath. The warmth of his tongue. -"I'm willing."- You babble, eyes half-lidded, fumbling with the elastic lace trim of your undergarment, lowering it, giving him entry, feeling yourself wet. -"What was that?"- He teases, tone beaming seriousness, asking you repeat yourself. You do. Anything. You'd do anything. Funny how quickly a person could go from being level-headed and logical to throwing all caution to the wind, you thought. -"I'm willing to receive it."- You almost plead. He pulls back. Momentarily, the warm haze he emanated was lost and you find craving it. Craving it back like nothing you've ever craved before. You could see it so clearly now. His hand tracing the outline of your swollen belly, smiling down at you and unwittingly, your mouth moves with a will of its own. -"Sir."- Terry instructs, unblinking, his cock stroking itself against the lips of your cunt. -"Sir."- You eagerly mimic his words, ready to devour the very air you shared, the distance between you nonexistent. -"You know how some schmucks out there claim they know the exact moment of conception?"- Terry chuckles in between wet kisses, his tip finding it's way between your Labia guided by his hand. You're sloppy, loose and ready for him. -"Well, I always thought that's a load of crap."- He adds, grunting once he nestles himself inside of you, driving you further up the wall, your legs flying up, on either side of his shoulders, held by one free arm. It was astounding how he could expertly hold his balance and your own too and not falter.
He picks up his pace and for once, you smile.
Never in a million years would you think Cobra Kai's workplace contractual fringe benefits would involve this.
-"I just plan to fuck you until I see some tangible results."-
He seethes and now there was a plan you could agree with.
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bangtaninborderland · 2 years
Text
JJK- Baby Don’t Cry
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You and Jungkook had been arguing non stop for the better part of the past two weeks, you had forgotten why you were initially angry at one another instead you had both began to find things to dispute every day, each time it progressively putting you both in a worse position.
You were thankful his schedule had gotten busier in the last week, both needing time to clear your head.
You’d been with Jungkook since you were 18 and he was 19, you’d grown together, you’d had your first everything with one another. First date, first adult relationship, first time.
You’d supported him through the past 6 years of his career as he had yours, you’d started your own clothing business, Jungkook had invested into it, you declined at first but he insisted and eventually you gave in, it had succeeded and your own company had 5 stores in South Korea and 3 in Japan.
It hadn’t been easy, you both had always been under a lot of pressure but you made it work, things never got bad. Not until December 17th.
You knew how much Jungkook was worried about the future, the people he had surrounding him were suddenly about to be doing their own things. Of course he could manage without them, he is a full grown man. He isn’t a helpless child but it still hurt when he had to bid goodbye to his eldest Hyung.
For the first month you had both taken time off work to be with one another, you were close with jin. He acted as a big brother to you, always making sure you were okay. He included you in everything just as much as he did his own fiancé.
Jungkook had cried, gotten angry, refused to do anything and then eventually Namjoon came over with Hoseok and whilst they were all sitting there drinking beer and essentially counselling one another the phone rang.
It was Jin.
They all cried when he let out a “jwehope.” As much as they persisted that they had not cried and that the smell of the beer was just strong causing their eyes to water you knew how much it had effected them.
Jungkook because even more distant after that, he would go to the studio and not come home. A few times you’d had to go to collect him only for him to lock the studio door blocking you out.
Two weeks ago it had gotten the worst it ever had, he had missed your anniversary. He had chosen to go live for army and drink with them.
He had told you he was going to but he forgot to mention he would do it on your very own anniversary. You was furious when he stumbled home the next day complaining of a headache an exhaustion.
You felt awful as you took Bam to the vet for a check up that Jungkook was supposed to take him for. You hadn’t mentioned to him just why you were upset, that conversation was best left for when he sobered up.
You hadn’t anticipated that the second he did he would be back to hiding himself away, refusing to be near you, you felt unwanted. You couldn’t understand this sudden change but you knew one thing and that was that you was not going to let him treat you like this.
You sat on the couch, waiting for him to come home. Usually he would be home anytime after midnight so you prepared yourself for a long night.
It was 4am when he walked in the door, hair messy, his clothes wet most likely from the onslaught of rain.
He jumped seeing you sitting on the couch as he slid his shoes off. “You’re awake.”
“Yep, we need to talk.” You continued to stare out of the window even as you spoke to him.
“What’s wrong now?” He ask, slumping onto the couch opposite you.
You pushed yourself further into the grey corner chair that you had brought a few months ago, you found it comforting to sit and watch the city go by. “Us kook.”
“Nothing is wrong with us.” He defended.
You rolled your eyes, shifting to look at him. “Really? We haven’t stopped arguing for weeks, you forgot our anniversary. You are barely home and when you are you don’t talk to me.”
“It’s not like that.” He shook his head, looking guilty. He shuffled over to your side, pulling you closer to him.
You pulled away earning a hurt look from him, normally you’d rush to fix the problem you usually had amazing communication between you but right now all of those well developed skills no longer existed.
You raised your eyebrows In disbelief. “Then what is it?”
“I just feel so scared, I’m so fucking scared all the time. These next two years are planned out but no plans can predict how we will all feel emotionally, they have always been my family and it’s hard seeing them go one by one when they have already been through so much. I’m so fucking scared because soon enough it’s going to be my turn and what about you? You can’t tell me you won’t be here crying when I’m gone. Fuck we have had each other our entire adult lives, I can barely go a month without you, people don’t respect our privacy enough for you to be able to visit me. How do I know you will all be here when I’m back? I’ll be the last to go you could have all easily moved on.” Your heart breaks as his tears drop to the floor, his nose bright red from the crying.
You knew he had been worried, you knew the time apart for you both would be difficult and in all honesty it probably should have been something you both discussed sooner. You suddenly felt guilty, you’d been so caught up in your own worries that you had failed to notice his.
“Kook, baby don’t cry.” You pulled him in for a hug, trying to make him feel as loved as possible. “I know you’re scared and honestly I am too, I know we haven’t spoken about it but I just thought it would be easier to have this conversation closer to the time. I know the members adore you, I know just how special you are to them, bangtan without you is nothing, the same way it would be nothing if even one of you was missing. When it comes to us all I can say is I have been here since I was 18, you remember the day we met? Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would end up falling in love with you the way I did. You were such a brat.” You both chuckled before you continued.
“I’m sure the bowling alley we went to on our first date was minuets away from actually collapsing, I still don’t want to know how you even knew that place existed.” You laughed again, he shuffled you around so you were resting against his chest. The faint sound of his heart beat comforting you. “Do you remember the way you invited me to your music bank performance? You handed me an invitation and walked off, I was so confused. I have never waited so long for something in my entire life but seeing you doing what you loved made me so much more interested in you.”
“Firstly, in my defence Namjoon Hyung had told me about that bowling alley. I argued I should have taken you to an expensive restaurant but Jin Hyung said it didn’t matter where you go with someone, it’s always the person that matters not the place. Besides I don’t remember you complaining about how the date ended.” He pinched your side, making you squirm. “Secondly, I was so nervous to ask you to come I even requested they hand out snacks and water so you would be okay. I didn’t want you to just want Jungkook of BTS. I was nervous you were going to sell me out.”
You turned to look at him, he seemed apologetic but you could understand the pressure he was under to maintain his image. “I never knew if you noticed this but I would always turn my phone off so you didn’t worry.”
“I did, after a few dates it became something I was both aware and thankful for, it’s crazy how we never think back to that time. It’s been years and this is the first time we have revisited our beginning.” He sighed.
You drew a breathe before responding, linking your fingers with his. “We are going to be okay, I’m going to be here waiting for you and so what if I cry in your overly expensive sweatshirts and ruin them all, I’ll be okay because at the end of it all we will have each other. We have always had each other Jungkook.”
You felt him relax behind you at your last sentence, as much as he hated to admit it he too craved reassurance the way you did.
“I don’t want you to regret waiting for me.” He whispered, his voice laced with shame.
You shook your head, climbing off him to reposition yourself. You swung a leg over his lap, placing yourself directly in front of his face. “Jeon Jungkook, I have ran away from paparazzi for you, I hid in a bush when you were approached by fans, we went to dates in the sketchiest places for the first two years because I was too afraid to go to anything remotely high end in fear we would get caught, I cooked an entire three course meal when I first met the members just to make a good impression only for you to bring home pizza. We have gone through tours, not seeing each other for weeks, our only time together being spent sleeping, we have argued and we have made mistakes but every single time it has only reaffirmed that I am utterly in love with you and I would wait an eternity to be with you.”
You lean into his touch as he brings a hand to caress your face, his lips pressing a kiss to your forehead, then your nose and your lips. His breath was hot on your face as he mumbled “I thought I was the luckiest person, I had fame, financial security, amazing friends, the ability to pursue my dreams but it all meant nothing without you, you were the final piece to my puzzle.”
“Much like all of those wonderful things I am not going anywhere, ever. Unfortunately you’re stuck with me.”
He shook his head laughing. “I’d be honoured to be stuck with you.”
You laughed with him but slowly it died down and you was left with your own worries. “Why was you pushing me away? You really forgot our anniversary.”
His face fell, his shoulders sagging. “I felt awful, I was trying to work on my album but nothing was working I genuinely thought it wasn’t for another week ever since jin Hyung left and hobi Hyung started to prepare to go time has gone by weirdly. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you I am going to do better, I think I was worried so much that you’d leave I started to push you away. I thought at least then I’d be able to prepare myself.”
You lightly smacked his chest. “You are so foolish, you are definitely going to have to make it up to me I am still very mad at you for that but I can understand.”
You knew how hard the last few months were for him. Coincidentally you knew how much of a perfectionist your boyfriend is so you knew he would make it up to you in the most extra way ever.
“What If I buy you a house?” He raises an eyebrow.
“We have a house” you retort.
He hums. “What if I buy you a car.”
“I don’t have my licence.” You laughed.
“What if I buy you a cardboard cut out of me, I see a video of an army with one in her room. You can hug that when I enlist.” He raises his hands as if to defend from an attack as he laughs.
You scowled at him rolling your eyes. “Why would I need a cardboard cut out? I climb into bed with you every day, besides I’m sure my imagination can muster up enough material.”
“You’re such a tease, I’ll make it up to you, you know that right?” He pulls you closer to his chest, his arms feeling like a safe barrier around you.
“I know you will. You know we will be okay? We will figure it out together. Always have and always will.” You smile, knowing that with him everything would all be okay.
“I’m sorry for being so emotional, I know I should have just talked to you. I know we will be okay.” For some reason you find comfort in his reaffirmation of your beliefs.
You pull back, your hands falling to the side of his face as you pull him in for a kiss. “Never ever apologise, you’ve gotten me through my worst and I will you.”
“Don’t cry baby.” He whispers mimicking your earlier words as he brushes away a tear that you had unknowingly shed.
“We will be okay.”
“Always will be.”
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anna1306 · 2 years
Text
This idea was stuck in my mind too strongly not to write it c:
Rule
Poly!Ghostface x Reader
Warnings: discussion of death, death of secondary character, blood
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Being new wasn't an easy deal. It didn't matter whether you were new in school, work, company or anywhere else. In any case there would be side-eyes, whispers and a lot of interest on you.
You weren't exactly used to the attention. You were from small, quiet city where something loud happened obviously, but it was only from time to time. And still your family decided that you should try it out there, in bigger town, with more opportunities. You didn't oppose to that, but it was something completely new. You had to redo your whole lifestyle practically.
You parked your car near the school and sighed. It would be okay. It would be alright. You could do that. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. You should at least try. There was always an option to return back to your family after all. Finally you gathered your thoughts and left the car.
On your way to school you met with couple of strange looks, but tried your hardest to dismiss them. You met with the teacher that was assigned to show you around and it turned out fine, you almost remembered everything. The last stop was your first class. While teacher was introducing you, you looked at your new classmates. Couple of them caught your eye, but you still didn't let your gaze linger on them for long. Even if they were pretty. Even if one especially hot brunette returned your look, and then turned away to whisper something to his more giddy blonde friend.
But the lesson was normal. Everything was pretty much normal. It scared you to some extent. Normal... wasn't your thing. You were paranoid and you started to overthink that these silent looks were holding something behind them.
So you decided to calm yourself down and distance yourself from all the noise. Noone had introduced themselves to you yet, so you could sit alone without awkward interactions. On the lunch break you went out of the building, sitting under the tree. Sandwich in one hand, book in the other one, you finally managed to calm yourself down.
"Hey there!" You jumped in surprise, looking at the girl in front of you. There were two of them actually, but the one who greeted you, stood a little bit closer to you. Blonde one with wide smile and bright clothes. "I'm Tatum. Mind if we sit?"
"Uhm... No, not at all." You smiled sheepishly, coughing from the sandwich that got stuck in your throat. The girl with dark hair passed you the bottle of water.
"Sorry if we scared you. I'm Sidney." She offered you a small smile.
"Y/N. It's fine, I was too invested in the book." You shook your head, forcing yourself to relax a bit. You were ought to have at least couple of conversations, you just had to not look freaky during those.
"What is that?" Tatum asked, biting an apple. You smiled, closing the book.
"Poetry. My elder brother gave it to me before I came here, so I decided I should give it a try." They looked cool and easy-going. Maybe it wouldn't be so hard fitting in here and all you worries were up for nothing.
"That's boring!" You jumped in surprise once again, when tall blonde guy from your first class that day plopped on the grass near Tatum.
"If you can't read, Stu, that doesn't mean that it's not interesting for everybody else." Tatum scoffed and looked at you. "Don't mind Stu, he can be a lot sometimes."
"I have a lot of something, if you know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows, looking at you with a smirk.
"I have never heard lamer pickup line... " You mumbled to yourself. But the company heard you pretty well, Sidney giggled, while Tatum loudly laughed.
"You are gonna fit just fine. But don't worry. He barks, but not bites." She winked at you. You smiled a bit in response, distracting yourself with more sandwich.
"I am deeply wounded." Stu playfully put his hand to the forehead, pretending to be hurt. You couldn't lie, he was cute. And funny to some extent. But he was too much, you weren't used to that. Oh well, another new thing for you.
"Can I look? Or is it too personal?" Sidney asked, motioning to your book. You moved it closer to your side, shaking your head. There were so much notes from your brother, most of it were filled with your inside jokes or personal things. You didn't want anyone to even get a glimpse of it.
"Sorry, no." You smiled awkwardly and quickly changed the theme. "I meant to ask, I am still bad with directions here, as I am obviously new. I have biology next, maybe you could help me to get there?"
"I can!" Stu grinned, excitedly raising his arm, as if he was volunteering at something. "We have the same class!"
"Lord, have mercy on your soul." Sidney joked, making you smile a bit.
You sat there a little longer, the girls making sure to know you a bit more and vice versa, as you gave each other bits of your personal life. You didn't want to spill it all, you were closed person, and your family wasn't a simple one, but still you told them that you liked poetry, movies and rock music. Stu occasionally insert his opinion, making the atmosphere lighter and even leading the talk into completely other direction.
"Finally, we are alone." Macher smirked, when you both parted your ways with the girls. You smiled awkwardly.
"You are way too flirty for someone with a girlfriend." In the past fifteen minutes you learned that this was just how Stu was, now you getting used to it was just the matter of time. The boy scoffed.
"There is no fun in being sad and serious all the time, you know?" He was light, almost jumping with every step. You smiled at this, trying to remember the way to the class at the same time. None of the people you knew before had the same lightness to them. "So how is our citadel of boring knowledge? Different from your past one?"
"I... I was home-schooled, so... I honestly can't make comparison." You admitted shyly. Stu suddenly gasped and stopped right in front of you, looking at you with wide eyes. You stopped with him.
"No way! You have never been to school before?!" You shrugged, not understanding his excitement.
"Yeah... We... I am from small town, our school wasn't big enough, so I was at home." Macher laughed excitedly, grabbing your shoulders.
"You are so lucky!!! Tell me more about it. Who was your teacher? Your mom?" You shivered, anxiety slowly crawling back into your soul, as the loud boy definitely drew attention to you and standing in the middle of corridor wasn't the best place for flashbacks. But before you could say anything else, someone suddenly smacked Stu on the back of his head.
"You are annoyingly loud, dude." You looked to the side and saw a brunette, that caught your eye from earlier. He looked you up and down. "I hope he didn't scare you."
"No... Just... Too much. First day and everything." You breathed out with a nervous smile. The boy nodded.
"I know the feeling. Billy. Billy Loomis. And you are Y/N. I remember the introduction." Strange, but you felt more at ease with his presence. Stu got quieter, rubbing his head and letting you go, looking between you and Billy, but he didn't try to be loud anymore. That sudden change of character was a bit weird, but... You set the thought aside.
"Good to meet you. Uhm... I think the class is starting soon."
"Yeah, let's go, we don't want to be late because of someone's never shutting mouth." Billy glared at Stu. They exchanged looks and suddenly Macher went back to being his loud, overreacting himself, bickering with his more calm and silent friend back and forth, as you were following them to the class. Something here was fishy. They were strange, even if you couldn't explain what it was exactly. But that was definitely better than quiet normallness of this place.
***
"What the hell did you do with it?" You straightened up, looking at Stu. He was too busy whispering something to Tatum. Probably something lewd, knowing him. "Hey, earth to Stu!" The boy raised his eyes to look at you.
"Huh? Yes, my lovely mechanic?" He smiled widely at you, probably being concentrated on Tatum in his arms still.
"What the hell did you do to your car that it's so broken, but still running?" You looked at him exhasperatedly. You were regretting the decision to tell the guys that you know your ways around cars. The minute Macher heard about that, he asked you to take a look at his car. And it was awful.
"Magic fingers." He smirked, wiggling his fingers. You rolled your eyes, turning back to the car. What did you expect from him? Serious answer? It had been couple of weeks of you in this town, you should have get used to his persona.
"You are really good with it." Sidney noticed, sitting in the chair, warming under the sun. The garage door was open to let the warm air in, and music was playing, but she spoke loud and clear for you to hear her. "I mean, car stuff." You scoffed.
"My brother is... Kinda a mechanic. He usually took me with him to the repair shop, when I was younger. And I picked a thing or two... How in the living hell this is connected?!" You groaned, disconnecting the wrong tube. If your brother was here, he would be so angry at Stu for doing this to his car. Thankfully, you weren't your brother. Only tiny bit like him.
You were too concentrated on your work, figuring out what was wrong here and what to do to fix it. Even if Stu could drive just fine, it would still be easier if the car would be repaired. You could almost hear his whistles and screams, when the drive would be fast and smooth. And honestly, you couldn't wait to see him excited like that.
"Y/N, maybe you should..."
"Fuck off while I'm busy!" You cursed at the sudden interruption and pushed someone who came closer to you before you could realise what you were doing. And when you did understood what just happened, you raised the eyes to see Billy. With an empty glass. And wet t-shirt. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I got so into work I forgot everything. That was so rude of me."
"It's... Fine." He muttered, looking at your face. Something in his eyes made you shiver. Something that was too familiar, but still unpredictable. Something that almost made you check the garage for ways around. "Just thought you got overheated and needed a break."
"Yeah... You are probably right." His face softened, but the glint of something you saw in his eyes stayed somewhere in his face. You just knew it. You could almost feel it. "I will fix your t-shirt, so sorry again."
"Wow, someone wants to see Billy without his shirt." Stu whistled, breaking your strange eye contact. You looked at him, noticing his too satisfied smirk. Like he was enjoying the situation. These two from the start were the only ones who didn't look normal to you. To others - maybe. But you knew all to well to look behind the scene.
"If I wanted to look at the man, who's taken, I would search movies with Tom Cruise." You blurted out without thinking. In a second the garage was filled with laughter and Tatum's discussion on the theme of hot actors, and the feeling of something weird in the air disappeared. But when you went back to the car, you could feel eyes on the back of your head and on your hands.
***
"Who's Casey?" You asked Tatum, as you were walking to the school. The whole town it seemed, was full of talks and whispers. And the more information there was, the harder it was for you to understand what was really going on.
"The girl Sidney was sitting in English with. And her boyfriend was the captain of football team." She answered, watching Prescott joining you both. "They say that they both were gutted, like from side to side."
"They say a lot of things, but what is the truth?" You sighed, walking with them, mind filled with thoughts. You didn't know that your move here would result in you finding yourself in this events.
"Who knows? Police won't tell us the truth. But if you are curious, I can bribe Dewey."
"Don't... All of it is clearly enough to get the basic idea." You shook your head, somehow feeling sick to your stomach. Your mind was convinced that you were smelling sweet, rotten scent in the air. Hotness rolled of your skin, like you were in a stuff place or near candles. Your mind wondered somewhere else. Suddenly there was rough voice in your head telling you to follow the rules, so you wouldn't get hurt, to stay back and don't interfere.
"...just imagine." You shivered, realising you were in the classroom already. You were too gone in your own head to remember how you got to your desk. Stu was turned to you, grinning like crazy. Like always. He probably was mumbling about something for quite some time.
"Sorry... What?" You asked him, looking at him puzzled, trying to gather your thoughts.
"I said, imagine yourself on her place. It must be awful." He giggled. Horror fanatic. You shook your head absent-mindedly. You knew the rules of surviving. You knew how to not attract the attention and live through this. You shouldn't be worried about it, but you couldn't help it.
"I have a knife from my brother." You answered quietly, looking away from him. Stu whistled, licking his lips, his eyes are burning with genuine interest.
"Don't tell cops that." Billy scoffed, sitting at desk in front of you with a huff. "They asked me if I was a hunter." He added.
"Come on, Billy, it couldn't be our Y/N. Look at them. They can't hurt a fly." Stu put a hand on your shoulder, shaking you a bit.
"Yes. I have never killed a person. I can't kill." You scoffed nervously, too deep in your thoughts again, not noticing the glare from both of the boys.
***
"Why the fuck this dick wasn't at his home." Breathed out Stu. Billy shushed him, adjusting the gloves.
"It doesn't matter. Jason will get what's coming to him. But his girlfriend should go down tonight." He whispered, checking the voice changer and going over every detail of their plan for today one more time. They were near the house of one of the most rudest bitches Billy had ever met. And he wanted to teach all the town a lesson. Even if it would be through hands of Stu. Loomis would gladly just watch the scene go down. He called the number, they both were ready to start.
"Yeah?" Loomis froze for a second. That was definitely not Britney's voice in the phone. But he was sure that she would be alone, he and Stu learned all about her day beforehand.
"Can I hear Brit?" He still asked with changer near his mouth. If there was only two of them, there shouldn't have been any problems.
"Oh, no, she's busy. Bye." He could swear he heard a giggle, before the phone died. And not like someone just hung up on him, but like something happened to the phone itself.
"Dude? What is it?" Stu looked at him nervously. He couldn't just sit there and wait. He was ready to pounce at any moment, but Loomis was concerned and shook his head.
"There's something wrong. Come on, let's get a closer look inside..."
There were three victims already. Two of them died on the same night. There were too much talks. Too much noise. And it was never-ending. After failed attack on Sidney and Billy's arrest and quick freeing of him you only grew more nervous. With the situation, with yourself... Besides, family on the other side of the rare phonecalls you had with them, weren't pleased to learn that you or even them could be in danger. You had to talk with them for a long time to convince them to let you stay there, as you didn't want to go back to old and small town. Yet. But also you had to find the way to get all of your emotions out and not just in chit-chat with Tatum. You had to find the exit to your anger, home-sickness and anxiety. It was just...
"...too much, you know?" You said quietly, rocking in the kitchen chair. "I am used to one lifestyle. And then I moved. And got used to quietness here. And then this. I'm just going crazy, do you understand?"
"I can't..." The girl before you whimpered. You sighed, that was called an ungrateful listener. Billy would have listened and even answer something or give an advice. But he was too pretty and had a lot on his plate to talk with him like that.
"Look, all I am saying that even if I missed this... Adrenaline rush, screams and blood and tension, I never expected someone to be so absorbed with one theme for days. It is tiring to hear about murders and never getting a rest from it, you know?"
"You did all of that!" She suddenly screamed. You rolled your eyes tiredly. Even Stu listened better, and he had an attention span of a toothpick.
"Damn, I get that you are blonde, but I don't think that you are that dumb. And last time I checked you weren't deaf." You stood up, noticing how she immediately tensed up. It was surprisingly nice - feeling such kind of power over people. You made two slow steps to her. "Casey, her boyfriend and that boy from two days ago - aren't my victims. I don't kill people. I don't kill them at all, that is the rule."
"You killed Jason!" You laughed at her face in response and looked at the lifeless body between you two, bending to it.
"No. You did." You answered with a laugh, shaking your head. "I just hurt him, wounded him with a knife. He could have made it with quick medical assistance, if you didn't pull the knife out so roughly."
"You sick fucker..." She whimpered, sobbing. Tainted with blood on her hands, face and blonde hair, she almost looked pretty. You guessed you could see now where your brother was taking inspiration from.
"Aren't we all?" You licked your lips, enjoying the emotional relief maybe a little bit too much.
"I will tell everyone."
"No, you won't." You scoffed, stepping away from the girl, as you straightened your posture. "Firstly, you won't live long enough to tell the story, you will kill yourself. Secondly, everyone will think that this was Ghostface doing, not mine. No one will think about two killers at the same time at the same space, there isn't even such cliche in horror movies. Thirdly..."
She suddenly launched herself forward. Grabbing the bloody knife from the counter, she raised her hand for a strike, but... You stepped back, hiding behind the table. In attempt to chase you, Britney ran after you, but... She stumbled in the slippery pool of blood. Trying to soften the fall, the girl instinctively put her hands before her, forgetting about the knife. She fell on the floor with a loud thud. With her face on the blade.
"Great. Why the hell they never listen?" You laughed out tiredly. You weren't lying to her one bit. You didn't kill a soul. Always playing the luring role, always on the background, while others were doing their work. But you knew how victims were. How they behaved and what they did in situations like that. It didn't change one bit. Never did.
You sighed, looking at the now lifeless body, going around the table. You had to turn the girl on the back to take out the knife from her head. After all it was handmade by your brother. More so, if you were using the cover of Ghostface... He had never left the weapon behind.
Now it was your time to go. There was always a timer in your head, when you should show up, what should you say and when you should hide.
You stopped at the door though. You could swear you were being watched. But it felt almost like you were back at home. You weren't in danger. Just someone was overwatching you. Still, you were tense by this, making you remember all of the other rules. So many mixed signals...
You shook your head, going out and closing the door behind yourself, only then taking off your gloves. All that mattered was that now you knew how to let all of your emotions out. You snickered to yourself, walking away from the property. You really took after your family.
"Oh my god... Did you see that?" Stu laughed, hysterically and excitedly at the same time, closing his mouth with his hand.
"Yes, and I heard most of that, you ask me this for the fifth time." Answered Billy, watching from the open window of the kitchen, how you walked out of the house and went away, like nothing happened. They hid near it almost for entire ordeal, not entirely believing what was unraveling before them.
"We definitely have to pay them a visit, dude. For shits and giggles, for scares, I don't know. I just want them." Stu rarely got this excited, even if he was giddy all the time. But this whole scene made him all more interested in you. It made him look at you from the other perspective and rethink all of the strange moments with you. You were pretty, funny, with silver tongue and witty comebacks. He knew there was something more, and he was right. And Billy felt it too. And they both wanted the same thing now. Loomis smirked, and his wicked grin resembled one on Stu's face.
"Of course we visit them... I want to see what else our dearest Y/N Sinclair is capable of..."
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vivalas-vega · 1 year
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Oooh my, your requests are freaking open???? I've got an idea in my head for a long time and now I give it a try and send it to you. I'm obsessed with Jake (and Bradley) x Roomie (fem reader or oc) trope, so apologies in advance for this one (also a sucker for hurt and comfort 😬). I try to keep it as short as possible: Rooster's and Hangman's new roomie has a sad past. She has sleeping issues and bad nightmares. They hear her whimpering and crying in her sleep. The guys are worried but she plays it down, feeling bad for waking them up with her shit. Maybe she starts to sleep walking and unfortunately hurts herself during this episode. The guys find her in the middle if the night hurt. And she opens up to them telling them about her dreams and her past.
ahhhh !!! I'm so glad to finally get this one posted, I'm so sorry it took so long ! I am such a sucker for the roommate trope, and I love writing stories that are strictly platonic, just focusing on lovely friendship vibes bc those are just as important as the romantic ones !!! I hope you enjoy!
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(this doesn't have a title yet bc it's admittedly the thing I'm the worst at when it comes to writing fics)
word count: 2.4k
warnings: mentions of alcohol, some suggestive humor, language, brief and vague mentions of death, lmk if I missed any
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“Are you going to eat these leftovers?” you asked Bradley, who was sitting at the kitchen island keeping you company as you cleaned out the fridge and he stared at the tupperware container for an infuriatingly long time, contemplating his options before you let out an exasperated sigh. “Bradshaw, it’s pasta. Yes or no?”
“No,” he finally answered. “You’re in a mood.” 
“No mood, it would just be nice if you could be snappier in your responses while you just watch me clean the kitchen.”
“Yeah, definitely not in a mood,” he muttered under his breath but you heard it anyway. “Do you know where Hangman is?”
“You two share a bathroom and you still can’t call him by his name?” you asked with a chuckle. “He’s at the gym, should be back soon.”
“We only share a bathroom because you got the master,” he protested and you laughed again.
“I needed the bigger closet,” you shrugged. “I told you you’re welcome to use mine anytime.”
“After you reamed me for using your face wash? Thank you, but no thank you, I haven’t been yelled at like that since I borrowed my moms car to take Cindy Daniels on a date.”
“I only yelled because you used a forty dollar cleanser as body wash and somehow managed to use half the bottle. Besides, your mom was right to yell at you too, you stole her car and you were thirteen.”
“I was covered in grease! And my date with Cindy is none of your business.” 
“Are we having the face wash fight again?” Jake asked as he came in through the garage, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he reached around you to grab a bottle of water, but you only pushed him away, muttering something about keeping his sweat away from you. “Take the blame, Chicken, you wasted half a bottle of Drunk Elephant, you’re lucky she didn’t put you on the porch for the night.”
“See, the craziest thing about this whole situation is you were just as outraged as she was.”
“Good skincare is not just for women, you might want to invest in a routine of your own.” he smirked before disappearing down the hallway and you heard the sound of the shower turning on.
“You working tomorrow?” Bradley asked, getting up to wash the containers you’d placed near the sink.
You shook your head, “a Friday and Saturday off, Penny was feeling extra generous.” You’d met the two of them, along with the rest of the team, when they’d first gotten to town for the infamous and secretive mission that almost claimed the life of the man currently donning cherry-printed cleaning gloves and scrubbing pasta sauce out of tupperware. You’d all become fast friends, they’d coax you out from behind the bar on your breaks or when your shift was over for darts or pool, and when your lease was up just as they received word of a permanent assignment it seemed to make sense for the three of you to find a place together. It was a godsend for you, it got you out of your cramped apartment with dismal lighting and into a beautiful craftsman only a few blocks away from the beach. Even with arguments with Bradley about face wash and a sweaty Jake, it was a no-brainer.
“Could we convince you into coming to your place of work on a night off? These new recruits are testing our patience, Phoenix wants a fun night out to blow off steam.”
“I could potentially be persuaded,” you replied, shutting the fridge after deeming it was as cleared out as it was going to get. 
“Which translates to as long as I’m not mixing them, I’ll always show up for drinks,” Jake said, walking back into the kitchen with freshly washed hair. “Do I get any kind of welcome home now that I’m not sweaty?” 
“No, because now you’re wet, did you even dry off?” you asked, snapping him with a dish towel before he rounded the island and wrapped his arms around you.
“Enough,” he answered, squeezing you tight as you pretended to hate it. Really, you loved living with these two. Being on your own before was starting to take its toll on you, and they reminded you of a different time in your life, one that felt like it was ancient history. “Not to dampen the mood, but… we did want to talk to you about something.”
“Sounds serious, should I break out the house meeting wine?” you asked, eyeing them skeptically as they shared a look with each other that you couldn’t quite decipher.
“We just wanted to… check in,” Bradley started and you raised your eyebrows. “The past few weeks we’ve heard certain sounds coming from your room and-”
“Okay, first of all,-” you started to cut him off, eyes wide at what you thought he was insinuating.
“Not like that, sweetheart,” Jake interjected. “But feel free to get louder when you do,” he half-joked and you hit him with the towel again. “What bird boy is trying to say is sometimes we hear what sounds like nightmares coming from your room and it’s happened enough that we just want to check in and see if everything is okay.” You suddenly felt nauseous. 
“If there’s something going on, or you need someone to talk to, you know we’re here, right?” Bradley asked and you nodded softly.
“I know, everything is fine, I’m sorry if I woke you.” you said, trying to dismiss their concerns altogether as you occupied yourself with looking over the mail.
“It’s just… it doesn’t sound fine, if you don’t want to talk to us we can help you find someone else to talk to, we just want to make sure you’re okay.” Jake tried and you gave him a forced smile.
“And I am, but I’m glad the two of you finally found something to agree on.” You tossed some junk mail in the garbage before turning to face them again, “I have some errands I want to run early tomorrow morning… text me if you need anything from the store but I’m going to turn in. Goodnight,” you said with another forced smile before heading down the hall and letting out a sigh as your back pressed against your closed bedroom door. You thought that things had gotten better… that enough time had passed. They seemed to be happening less and less, but maybe that wasn’t as true as you once thought. 
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Your footsteps down the hallway were an unusual sound for this time of night… nightmares or not, once you went to bed you weren’t seen until the following morning and it was enough to stir Jake from his slumber. You on the other hand, were completely unaware of what was going on, still stuck in a dream, stuck in a fluorescent lit hallway with tears streaming down your face only you weren’t… you were in your living room, walking straight into the console table and falling onto the broken glass of the picture frames and vases you’d knocked over which was enough to jolt both of them out of bed. 
“Hey, hey, are you okay?” Bradley asked, crouching down beside you as you came to.
“Mav- Maverick?” you asked, voice hoarse as you struggled to place where you were, the images from your dream still fresh in your mind. He looked at Jake confused who was on the other side of you and carefully pushing glass aside.
“No, it’s Bradley… Honey, what happened?” You blinked a few times, finally recognizing you were on the floor of your living room and the searing pain of broken glass in your palms and knees.
“I don’t- oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you winced as you tried to stand but Jake was quick to scoop you up, holding you tight as he walked to the kitchen and carefully placed you next to the sink while Bradley grabbed the first aid kit. “I- I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m okay, you can go back to bed.” He just frowned at you and when Bradley returned he started pulling the shards from your palms while Jake worked on your knees. Silent tears were still streaming down your face and they were both trying to figure out how to ask you what was wrong, but one thing they knew for certain was no one was going back to bed until they got to the bottom of what was going on with you.
“Sweetheart, do you want to tell us what’s going on?” Jake asked softly, looking up briefly to meet your eyes before gently running his thumb along your cuts, making sure there weren’t any pieces he missed. 
You shook your head as you wiped your cheeks, “nothing, I just… I don’t know, I guess I was half-asleep? I’m really sorry I woke you,” you said and they both looked at you like they didn’t believe a word of it.
“Alright, I was willing to maybe let it go before but you could have been seriously hurt tonight. Something is going on with you,” Jake said, voice firm as he stopped what he was doing to wipe a few of your tears.
“Whatever it is, you can tell us. Why did you say Maverick’s name when you woke up?” Bradley asked and you closed your eyes for a moment, taking in a deep breath before letting it all out. 
“I uh… there’s something I never told you about me.” you started, taking a moment to breathe as you felt your throat tighten. They stayed quiet, both carefully dabbing at your cuts with a damp cloth or rubbing aquaphor over them before bandaging them. “I wasn’t a teacher before realizing I liked bartending more, I was a pilot.”
“Wait, what?” Bradley asked, shock evident in his tone and Jake elbowed him, eyes silently pleading for you to continue. 
“My callsign is- or was Flash… like the superhero,” you chuckled but there wasn’t much humor in it and both of their eyes widened. “I was on a mission that went south really fast,  we were outnumbered and outgunned, we ran out of resources quickly. I was hit, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t save it, I couldn’t save him.” you choked out.
“Who?” Bradley whispered, you were all cleaned up now and they were both focused solely on you. Jake was rubbing reassuring circles on your thigh as Bradley held one of your hands in his own.
“My wizzo, we called him Genie… we both got to our squad at the same time, and on our first night out his icebreaker was if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?” You laughed again, but this time it was genuine.
“I’ve heard of him,” Jake said, noticing your breathing quicken just at the mention of him. “Both of you, actually, from what I’ve heard you were a hell of a pilot.”
“He couldn’t eject, something went wrong with the handles… I’d already pulled mine when I heard him say they were stuck and the next thing I know the jet is crashing into a hillside below me. I thought the dreams were getting better, and that I was maybe starting to move past it… I don’t think I really registered that it was happening again, or maybe that it never stopped.” 
“Honey, why didn’t you tell us this sooner?” Bradley asked, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear and you focused your gaze on your hands.
“I just… I didn’t want you to know that I failed my wizzo,” you choked out. “Or that the last time I was in a cockpit I nearly crashed again and Mav had to talk me through landing a plane I’ve landed thousands of times before because I panicked. I didn’t want you guys to censor yourselves when it came to work stuff out of pity for me being a failed pilot, and I guess… I just didn’t want you guys to look at me differently.”
“Hey, what happened wasn’t your fault,” Jake said, squeezing your thigh gently and prompting you to look up at him. “And we would never look at you differently for that, we understand.”
“I’m so sorry you went through that… and just know that we don’t think of you as a failure. We’ve both heard about that mission, there was nothing you could have done. Faulty equipment and being outgunned is not your burden to bear.” Bradley added, running a hand along your back.
“What is it that you say sometimes? It’s not the plane, it’s the pilot?” you asked, sadness seeping into your tone and he just pulled you into his side and pressed a kiss to your head.
“There’s not much the pilot can do if the plane fails them.”
“You went through a trauma, we would never fault you for not flying again after that.” Jake said and you smiled softly.
“Mav could… god, he tried so hard, he was really there for me after it happened, but… when I finally got back into a plane I just couldn’t shake it. It was like I could still hear him in my backseat even though he wasn’t there.”
“Just because Mav could, that doesn’t mean you’re a lesser pilot or a lesser person for not being able to, if anything I think it makes you stronger. You knew your limits, and instead of pushing through it when you couldn’t trust flying again you took a step back. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t make that same choice.” Bradley said, nudging Jake and you let out a laugh as you wiped your face again.
“Yeah, I thank my lucky stars I never crossed this one’s path when I was still flying,” you said and Jake’s face twisted up in shock.
“Hey, why are we ganging up on me now?” he asked and you laughed again. 
“You make it so easy,” you teased and they both smiled, happy to see you coming back into yourself a little.
“We’re here for you, okay? So is everyone else,” Bradley said, pulling you into him again and you let yourself wrap your arms around him as you laid your head on his chest and Jake kept rubbing circles into your skin.
“No matter what, you can always come wake us up if you need someone.”
“I love you guys, you know that?” 
You could hear the smirk in Jake’s voice as he said, “oh, we know.” He wrapped himself around the other side of you as the two of them squished you between them. “We love you too.”
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taglist: @callsignspirit @thegodessc @failuretothrivestuff @olliepig @cruelmissdior @underaveragefangirl @grxcieluvr @amatswimming @camilaricci @nolita-fairytale @dempy @pinkpantheris @aviatorobsessed @tiredqueen73 @pono-pura-vida @binnieslove @nik2blog @waklman @abaker74 @halstead-severide-fan @percysaidnever @memeorydotcom @eli2447 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @djs8891 @Genius2050 @stargazer-88 @chloeforde @kmc1989 @casa-boiardi (if your name is struck through, it means I couldn't tag you - sorry!)
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I’ve now gotten halfway through Season 2 of The Magnus Archives, so as per usual, here is my fifth post detailing my thoughts, analysis and theories on every episode, this time with a focus on Episodes 51-60!
Sorry that this one’s taken longer than usual to write, unfortunately I’ve had a few things clashing with the time I spend to listen to tma and write these recently, but hopefully I’ll be able to get back on track soon enough! Also…I’m gonna be real with you, these are just getting longer and longer as I descend down the rabbit hole, so I once again urge you to take your time reading this if you’re at all interested.
As always, please don’t spoil any future episodes for me, and if you haven’t gotten this far in tma then…here’s your spoiler warning for everything up until Episode 60! And finally, I recommend you read my previous posts of this nature, as I will be referencing my thoughts and theories from those in here. There’s a link to the masterpost containing all of them right above the cut!
Anyways, hope you enjoy! :)
- Episode 51, High Pressure 🤿
Statement of Antonia Hayley, regarding a deep dive that took place near Sable Island, Nova Scotia in August 2006.
On tonight’s episode of ✨the connections✨, we bring you back to a jolly old rich dude who throws people into the void! So um…yeah, this one definitely brought back some interesting plot points. In all honesty, I have very little to say about my thoughts on the statement outside of some theories, as while the episode was really good, it’s also a pretty simple one to understand. So, I’ll just run through a few rapid-fire thoughts on the episode, and then get into a few of the meatier topics. Firstly, it’s always nice to have a statement outside of The UK, that definitely does a good job when it comes to the world building, and shows that ✨the horrors✨ really are all around us, so I like that. This statement also gets bonus points for doing another great job at scaring me. I’m not especially thalassophobic, but the descriptions of the empty water devoid of life, and the way the darker waters creeped up into the surface levels…I don’t know, it just got to me. I also found it interesting how we never learn what company Ms. Haley worked for, and how Captain Kemp seemed to have some greater awareness of what happened here, although I can’t really speculate on what all of this means outside of that I think it’s important. And…yeah, those are my thoughts on the standalone elements of this episode! It was really good, don’t get me wrong…I just don’t have a whole lot to say about it. But thankfully, this episode does bring up a good few interesting connections, and managed to further develop the story in some really interesting ways, and I have much more to say about that. The first thing I have to talk about is, of course, The Fairchild Family.
Admittedly, if it wasn’t for Episode 46 reminding me of Episode 21, I might have just forgotten about this plot point, so it’s honestly very nice to see it getting some further development. Looking back at Episode 21, we see that Simon Fairchild was an old man who went skydiving with Robert Kelly, due to a charity raised for his deceased wife, and he was also accompanied by a relative of his named Harriet Fairchild, who was his instructor. Before he dived, he yelled “enjoy sky blue” at Robert, seemingly explaining why he fell into that endless sky, and later got “eaten” by it. Here, we learn that The Fairchilds are a wealthy family located in Cornwall, who invest in aerospace technology, shipping logistics, and underwater drilling and construction. It’s also implied that Simon Fairchild was a con artist in the 1930s who owned many pieces of jewelry, and that he was thrown out of a fourth floor window, yet no one noticed. The cases that would later contain this jewelry would start to mysteriously crack, as if something had been dropped on them. Jon states that Simon Fairchild was an alias of the con artist, meaning that if the con artist is the same person, the entire Fairchild family might be under a fake surname. And finally, Simon is most likely responsible for what happened in this episode. And…that’s about all we know on The Fairchilds for now, although I must say that I have quite a few things to say about them, particularly Simon. So, I said in my last post that I think there’s a connection between The Fairchilds and Mike Crew, as they both seem to connect to and/or directly serve something known as “Vertigo” or (more fittingly in my opinion) “The Vast”. I still stand by this, and I think Simon, and potentially other Fairchilds, can throw people into wide open voids, taking the form of endless skies and dark waters. However, here lies something interesting. Initially, I thought that The Vast only encompassed the sky, given everything that had been seen up until this point, but now I think it just encompasses all horror relating to wide open spaces that just have…a whole lot of nothing in them. Because here, we see that Simon’s abilities manifest in the ocean rather than the sky, and The Fairchilds seem to invest in all sorts of…wide space-like business ventures. I personally think that he shouted something like “Enjoy ocean blue” after Antonia, and that’s what caused her to experience the dark waters. As for where he got these powers, I don’t really know, but because Mike’s weird sky related experiences seem to be responsible for…whatever weird shit has happened to him, I have to wonder if Simon’s defenestration back in the 30s did something to him as well, maybe whoever pushed him out the window was also kind of a weirdo. But mentioning him being alive in the 30s…this guy’s age is a little weird. Like, my grandpa was born in the 30s, and while still pretty healthy, is nowhere near as mobile and adventurous as this guy who was at the very least a late teen in the 30s, presuming that the con artist is the same person as this Simon (which does make me wonder what his REAL name could be…). All I’m saying is that this guy must have some INSANE stamina going on, especially if he really is coming up on a century here. So yeah, I think the powers Simon had are pretty interesting, and that the information I think it seems to provide on “The Vast” is also pretty cool. There are a couple of other things about The Fairchilds I find interesting. Firstly, I will say that it’s strange this is now the third instance of an extensive family with paranormal ties, alongside The Keays and The Lukases. I don’t know if they’re directly linked, but it makes me think that if one person in the family has a paranormal experience…it’s effects might carry over to the rest. Like, maybe Albrecht von Closen’s encounter in The Schwartzwald still haunts The Keays to this day (even though the two we know of are at least…somewhat dead.) I just wonder where exactly the weird stuff with these families starts, and where it ends.
The Fairchilds also have this weird association with riches, which like yeah, it makes sense because they’re rich, but I find it kind of peculiar as a recurring motif. Like, Simon was skydiving for a charity that directly funded the family, he wanted to uncover the riches of his great-grandfather’s shipwreck, and he was at one point a jewelry con-artist. I don’t know if this actually means anything but I just found it kind of interesting. Finally, I kind of want to talk about the dark water. The way it was described, especially with the “hand” reaching out…it really reminded me of Lost Johns’ Cave. Like, a lot. It’s interesting, because I associate that episode with ✨the horrors✨ that connect to compression and/or darkness, the former of which is…pretty much the opposite of The Vast, so these potential similarities are kind of weird to me, but still definitely interesting. Kind of makes me wonder if the events here were like…maybe a collaborative effort between The Fairchilds and The People’s Church of The Divine Host, although that might be a bit of a stretch for the time being. So uh…yeah! There’s my thoughts on The Fairchilds I guess! I really hope to learn more about this weird-ass rich family as time goes on, as I think the whole vibe that surrounds them is great, I’m a sucker for when relatively unassuming old people turn out to be pretty cunning and fucked up in reality, so I’d love to see Simon and other Fairchilds pop up again in the future. And while I do wish I had more to say about the core plot of the statement, I must reiterate that I thought it was good. Like I said, it did a good job at scaring me, so I’d consider that a win. But honestly, as fun as all of this is…I don’t think it quite competes with the supplemental, because WOW. This one is easily my favorite so far.
Let me start by saying what I’ve been saying the entire season. Jon. You need to get your shit together. Like OH MY GOD. I KNOW that he’s technically suspicious of…”Sasha”, but even then! Why is it that he stalks Tim outside of his house, sees Martin’s crush on him as threatening, and moves Elias to the top of his suspect list simply because he said “dude, stop stalking your coworkers”, but then SASHA, the lady who stares at the table you acknowledge is creepy, goes to a wax museum for prolonged periods of time every day, and who despite the abilities of the impersonator is still CLEARLY acting differently than how she did before the funky worm lady showed up, and she *somehow* lost a few tapes, is apparently still the least suspicious? What the hell are you on? Are you stealing from Elias’ secret drawer of the good shit or something? Honestly it kind of feels like Not!Sasha isn’t even trying to hide her identity, but that’s just because she has no reason to since Jon is just THAT. FREAKING. DENSE. Ffs you are an ARCHIVIST. You work at an INSTITUTE. You are INSUFFERABLE. But like, on that note, can I just compliment Jonny Sims for making a protagonist that is such an insufferable loser…and yet I still love him dearly? Like, not just ironically, I’m genuinely invested in him and still really like his character despite how insane and stupid he can be. That takes some serious writing talent. But anyways…back to the supplemental. Firstly, Jon mentions that a few new artifacts have been admitted to the storage room, namely a wardrobe that light can not penetrate, an eye carved out of rock that interferes with video cameras, and a scalpel permanently covered in disease. I get the feeling that all of these are likely to show up in future statements, with the eye being the most curious to me personally. I feel like there’s probably a connection to Gerard Keay there, but the way it makes this video cameras malfunction is very reminiscent of how the computers can’t upload any real statements. But while that’s all pretty interesting, the real highlight to me is the recording of him and Not!Sasha.
Firstly, I just need to give some serious props to Eve Hewitt for her voice acting. You can tell that Not!Sasha has become more accustomed to her new identity over time, but it’s still just so…perfectly off, and I still love the faint audio distortion in the back of her scenes. Secondly…FUCK YEAH THE FRACTALS! I FEEL SO VALIDATED. For a while now I’ve held the belief that Micheal connects to fractals, which I still think is very likely, but I also found it interesting how the patterns on the table were described in a way very similar to the fractals, so I felt like there might be some connection. …I still don’t quite know what that connection might be but PROGRESS. Now, Not!Sasha suggests it’s more like a web that has caught them, but firstly, Not!Sasha is a lying little asshole, and secondly, I think she only says that due to her personal relationship with the table. You see, ever since the end of Season 1, I figured that the table was used to transport the impersonators, but Not!Sasha’s dialogue here makes it seem like more of a prison, one that the impersonator does not want to be tethered to. Now, I’ve always assumed that impersonators are a species, and I still do given the existence of the anatomy students (which aren’t exactly the same but they’re still just too similar to ignore), but now I think that one specific impersonator was tethered to the table, and it must go wherever the table goes. This probably means that Not!Graham and Not!Sasha are actually the exact same being, and “Graham Folger” is likely to have just…vanished. Alternatively there could be still be multiple impersonators here, who get released from the table after they successfully impersonate someone, but no matter what the truth is, I just find it so interesting, as it’s really our first true look at Not!Sasha’s thoughts that come from the real entity, not the person it’s pretending to be. But like, this just makes me think about the table itself even more. Like, whether the pattern is a web or a fractal, I think the fact that it’s imprisoning another paranormal being is very interesting. If it’s a fractal, then it connects back to Micheal, someone who recognizes Not!Sasha’s true identity, and while still undeniably a messed up being given what he did to Helen Richardson, has ultimately been pretty helpful to The Institute, outside of when he stabbed Jon of course. But if it’s a web, then a web makes me think of spiders, which not only ties back to the spiders in the box that I strongly believe to be the missing piece of the table (which also had an APPLE inside! Anatomy Class!), but also ties back to the spiders killing worms in the tunnels, showing at least some level of disdain for other aspects of ✨the horrors✨. I personally lean towards the pattern being a fractal, but either option is very interesting, and I’m really starting to wonder what this table even is. Lastly, we have the interesting reveal of Not!Sasha spending time at…Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum…of all places. Ok….I mean you do not actually you I guess. I’m sure there will be some genuine relevance to the plot from this information at some point, but for now, I think I can only extrapolate small things from it. Personally, I think that..at least one of the reasons she’s going here is in order to study how to become human, which is once again very reminiscent of Anatomy Class. Which like…I get the motivation, but if you want to learn how to become more human, go take an anthropology class or something. Madame Tussaud’s is definitely good in terms of wax museums but like…wax figures are still inherently uncanny and not all that natural so…you should really find better ways of educating yourself Not!Sasha. (Honestly though, as much as I drag her for killing my beloved OG Sasha, I have developed quite a fondness for Not!Sasha. Like, she’s still very unnerving, but it’s just kind of funny to have her be that new weird coworker in the office. Like, she is living someone else’s best life.) …I got off topic. Anyways, all in all a good episode with a really interesting supplemental.
Supplemental: Micheal…come back…I miss yoooouuuuuuu…
- Episode 52, Exceptional Risk 🚰
Statement of Phillip Brown, regarding a time working at HMP Wakefield between 1990 and 2002.
Yes. YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. I’M SO GENUINELY HAPPY THAT THIS IS AN EPISODE THAT EXISTS! I haven’t really mentioned this before, since my thoughts on the first 20 episodes were extremely brief (looking back at that post now is an experience btw), but I absolutely ADORE A Father’s Love. It’s such a tragic and interesting episode that I have not stopped thinking about ever since I first listened to it, not my all time favorite, but it is up there. So the fact it basically got a sequel makes me extremely happy, and while I don’t like this episode quite as much as A Father’s Love, I still think it’s really, REALLT good in its own right. Truth be told, this episode doesn’t reveal a ton of new information in summary, as we already knew that Robert Montauk died in prison, and it was likely due to The People’s Church of The Divine Host, but just being able to get a more vivid look at what happened really does add a lot in my opinion. So uh…yeah, let’s start this off by talking about the episode’s protagonist, Philip Brown. And let me just say, this guy is absolutely the gold medalist for most dickheaded statement giver in the entire series so far. Congratulations, I guess. Once again, I actually like when we get morally questionable statement givers, but maaaaannn. I just wanted to see this man suffer. Not only because I had sympathy for Robert given my prior knowledge of his past, but also because they REALLY portrayed the cruelty of many prison guards extremely well. Honestly kind of a shame that he didn’t suffer more. And you know, while his experience was certainly paranormal, I got the vibe that he was only submitting a statement out of pettiness rather than genuine fear, but that’s just another example of great storytelling. Overall glad his wife left him, but he was certainly an interesting protagonist. Anyways, I also wanted to talk more about Robert because..uuuuuaaaagghhh…his story makes me so sad :(. I actually really liked the way they portrayed him here, because it’s so real. Philip talks about his hulking size, how he broke the arm of another prisoner and was put in the exceptional risk unit due to his insane danger, as you’d expect from a prison guard who only knows him as one of the country’s most notorious and threatening serial killers. But when you look back at A Father’s Love, and how his daughter Julia talked about him…she just described him as her dad, because that’s who she knew him as. She obviously understood that he was a serial killer who did terrible things, but she still focused on the more tragic aspects of his story, and it provides such a nice contrast to that episode and this one, really showing how complicated everyone’s world views are. It’s just another great example of how good the storytelling here really is. But back to Robert…wow, it really is just so unfortunate what happened. To have this man do everything to attempt to save the lives of both his daughter and himself (presumably after his wife abandoned him, which admittedly I do wish was touched upon a bit more here), only to find that it was all for naught is just absolutely gut-wrenching. We already knew The People’s Church of The Divine Host were involved in his death but…just hearing about it from someone who (kind of, because it was dark) witnessed it directly makes it all the more depressing. Really, the only small bit of relief I got here was the part about him and Julia reuniting, but even then that was still really sad given how he felt he had to lie. But now I think I ought to discuss the most interesting elements of this episode. Truth be told, while this episode is very overtly connected to others in obvious ways, it didn’t reveal all that much new stuff. But, that being said, I still think there was a couple of interesting things here, those being Maxwell Rayner’s first true appearance, and the return of the darkness.
Truth be told, at this point in time there’s like…no information on Maxwell Rayner. All we know is that he was a defrocked Pentecostal minister, who according to Julia Montauk, might possibly be German. This would line up pretty well, as he is presumably a descendant of the World War 1 solider Joseph Rayner, whose body was found next to Wilfred Owen’s in Episode 7. Obviously he was the “detective” on the phone in Episode 9, and he founded The People’s Church of The Divine Host. Also, I completely forgot about this, but Rayner apparently disappeared in 1994, and the church disbanded around the same time. This is really strange though, because all of the episodes that definitely focus on the church have taken place after 1994, so I think it’s safe to assume that the disbandment was just a cover-up of sorts. Anyways, with all that in mind, what does this episode tell us about him? Well, not much really. All we know now is that he definitely still held resentment for Robert, and that he seemingly orchestrated his death, and really…everything weird in Episode 9 firsthand. However, I still think his presence here is important, simply due to his one line of dialogue. That being “You didn’t think you could kill it for long, did you?” This is…honestly pretty interesting. I assume that the “it” Rayner refers to is meant to be the darkness that The People’s Church of The Divine Host serves, all because of the context. You see, I initially assumed Robert was sacrificing people to appease the darkness; the more people he killed, the less the darkness would come for him and Julia. But based on this line of dialogue, I now think that he was trying to actively fight back against the darkness. I think this adds up quite nicely, because looking back, at least one of the people Robert Montauk killed was a member of the church, so it doesn’t seem too far fetched to assume that EVERYONE he killed was a part of the church as well. I think he was killing them, not to appease the darkness, but to drive it away. And that’s why Rayner looked at him with such hatred, why the darkness killed him so brutally. Robert Montauk wasn’t just a failure to the church, he was a traitor. But…mentioning his death, I actually want to discuss the darkness itself, as this episode gave a very new and interesting look into how it works. Now, the gross water and malfunctioning lights is all stuff we’ve seen before, as is the mention of things that are just kind of…wet and gross, but this episode provides a new aspect of the darkness, that being something really…animalistic. Like, we have tearing coming from the cell, Robert being dead from an excessive amount of stab wounds of all things, and then most notably, the darkness growling. I don’t know what exactly to make of this yet, but I just find it really interesting. I initially viewed the darkness as some sort of weird, mysterious force, but now I’m starting to see it more like a traditional monster, and…I don’t know, it’s causing gears to turn in my head. In conclusion, while this statement didn’t offer as much new things as some others…I’m - I’m just way to invested in this family drama to even care, and I’m so happy it wasn’t just a one-off thing. So…yeah. Great episode.
But of course, there’s the supplemental….s to discuss. Yeah, there was kind of two supplementals in this episode, I mean not really, but I don’t know where else to put the interaction with Basira so…uh…here you go! Now, the actual supplemental doesn’t grant much new information. I think it’s safe to assume that Not!Sasha is lying about her boyfriend, but it’s at the very least nice to see Jon genuinely just…not trusting her right now. (Also the phrase “produce said boyfriend” now lives rent free in my head.) But thankfully, even though the supplemental is short, we have a mid-statement interaction with Basira! Super happy to see that she’s a recurring character, and that she’s brought a new tape with her! I’m interested by the prospect about a statement on The Library of Alexandria of all things, that’s always been a very interesting historical conundrum to me so I’d love to see how tma tackles it. But as nice of a reveal as that is, it pales, nay, it SQUEALS in comparison to the reveal that TIM. IS CANONICALLY. THE HOT ONE. FUCK. YES. I mean, it was already pretty obvious, the man has managed to seduce at least two cops of different genders, but I’m so happy that we know he’s just like…objectively hot. Whatever you’re most attracted to, that’s what Tim looks like. (Unless you’re not attracted to men, or anyone, but you get the point. Also the fact that Basira says he pulls off the worm scars while Jon doesn’t like C’MON YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO HIM LIKE THAT.) I also need to appreciate the fact that the first assistant Jon thinks of is Martin. …We’ve come so far from the days of Episode 1 where he straight up didn’t consider him one…and this is the first tangible sign of Jon maybe reciprocating his feelings so I’m very happy about this. And of course, how can I neglect to mention that Jon and Basira are just going to keep Tim’s assumptions afloat to avoid suspicion. Like, considering that this is one of the most horrific pieces of media I’ve every engaged with, I must say it’s kind of insane how funny it can be at times. (Also, they might have been implying “I’m not interested” in their interaction, but I’m just going to assume that Jon and Basira were saying “I’m not straight” because shut up I can dream.) So yeah…you guys weren’t entirely kidding when you said The Magnus Archives is a workplace comedy.
Supplemental: I’m thinking about the tunnels…we haven’t heard about them for a while. Also, is Jon just not going to tell anyone about Micheal? Like, I know you value discretion, but that seems kind of important, no? I mean, he did kidnap a woman twice and then stab you so….uh….what’s going on man?
- Episode 53, Crusader 📜
Sergeant Walter Heller recording, regarding a discovery made near Alexandria during Operation Crusader in November of 1941.
Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES! THE BRAINWORMS ARE GOING WILD!!! Look, I already expected this episode to give some very interesting information just because of the fact it’s another Gertrude tape, but WOW. This one did a LOT. It seems fairly isolated from others on the surface, but there’s so many little connections to other episodes that make my brain go absolutely wild. There’s…quite a bit to unpack here, but I’ll do my best to cover everything that shows up in this episode, and also my theories about what it might all mean. So, I’ll start by discussing….let’s say, the core plot of the statement.
So, not only is this another recording done by Gertrude, but it doubles as a statement recorded live from subject. And I’ve got to say, Walter Heller was a great protagonist, particularly due to his VA. I will admit that I initially found him hard to hear, but that’s ultimately kind of a me problem, and it doesn’t matter because by the time I finished the episode, I thought that Harvey Kesselman did a FANTASTIC job as him. The voice acting in tma has always been of fantastic quality, but this one might just be the most real and visceral yet. He really portrayed the role of a war veteran with implied PTSD fantastic, and made it so easy to sympathize with a character in just one episode, which given Walter’s fate, is unfortunately probably the only episode he’ll ever be in. But honestly, his story was just really sad, even if the WW2 aspect of the statement isn’t the main focus, the description of that battle in the desert, him getting shot in the leg and watching his comrade die in a fiery blaze…it’s just really heartbreaking and shockingly real. I honestly kind of like how the first part of the episode wasn’t really paranormal, just a sad look at the horrors of war. It reminded me of Episode 7 in a way, although I don’t really get the feeling they’re connected. (Also between this and Episode 48 I really have to wonder what Italy did to Rusty Quill.) But of course, after the battle, we move on to the plot about The Serapeum of Alexandria. As I mentioned earlier, this is a part of history that I really like, and I think it fits perfectly in tma. But…regarding this plot line, this is where I have to get a little bit speculative. Because truth be told, there’s so many odd similarities to previous statements here, and so many weird new reveals as well that really do befuddle me. So uh..let’s get into that!
So this whole part starts with Walter falling through a wooden door. Already it’s evoking feelings of a previous episode, said episode obviously being The New Door. And not only do the tunnels that Walter ends up in kind of remind me of Micheal’s backrooms, but also give of feelings of many other previous episodes. These episodes include Lost Johns’ Cave, Old Passages, Too Deep and Schwartzwald, the last of which I feel is…particularly relevant for reasons I’ll get into soon. But as Walter goes through the tunnels, he find himself in multiple rooms, filled with scrolls. And as we learn later…these scrolls are here because The Serapeum, or at least what lies beneath it, were a previous iteration of the archives. Specifically the ones in The Magnus Institute. ….WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! This just raises…so many questions. I mean, the tunnels kind of reminded me of the old library in Schwartzwald, but THE Magnus Archives?! What?! This just raises…so many questions. Like, what was on the scrolls? Were they also statements regarding the paranormal, or something greater. How does Jonah Magnus tie into all of this. Why and how did he replicate these ancient hidden caves when making his institute. If the archives have existed this long, is Jonah even the real founder of The Magnus Institute, or has it just existed for a long time, going under different names? And what exactly makes this specific breed of archive so special? Just…why…how…what…when…where…who…HUH?! I know that my thoughts on this are super incoherent and scrambled but like…I CAN’T HELP IT! THIS IS JUST WAY TOO MUCH! But…regarding what might make this archive and that of The Magnus Institute so special…well, I think it’s safe to say that they are both connected to the same member of ✨the horrors✨. That being the one associated with eyes. …oh dear.
So, as Walter goes through the tunnels, he finds a corpse of a knight, which Gertrude later suspects to be of The Order of St. John, which I will touch in in a bit. All I have to say for now is that this guy was…probably killed by the thing inside here. That thing is likely the long robed figure with spindly fingers and one eye. I will say that the fingers, alongside the door and the passages in general are all very Micheal-core, but I don’t know how connected all of this actually is to him just yet so…I’ll make a small note of that for the time being and just leave it as an odd similarity for now. Anyways, this figure, Micheal-related or not, gives Walter the ability to see perfectly in the dark, but also makes him feel as if he’s being watched. So overall there’s a lot of eye and sight imagery here, which is already an interesting connection to Schwartzwald and The Keay Family, but things get really, REALLY interesting when Walter comes back to this encounter post-statement. Because apparently, he experienced the exact same feeling of being watched when he came to the institute. So, combine that with the fact that the archives in Alexandria are supposedly a previous iteration of those in the institute, and something becomes very clear. Every iteration of of the archives has been fucking haunted. Not just by worms, spiders, Micheal, Not!Sasha and etc, but by one of ✨the horrors✨ in the flesh. (I know three of the things I listed I consider horrors but shut up I’m trying to be dramatic.) And I think that horror is the one associated with eyes. The very same one that is connected to The Keay Family. I already mentioned how this episode reminded me of Schwartzwald with the ancient library thing going on, and the eyes, but think about what Walter said. How he felt like he was being watched back then and felt the same thing when giving his statement. I think that Jonah Magnus might have sought to replicate the archive beneath The Serapeum, and in doing so, made it the new home of the being that once resided there. Maybe that’s the thing that’s inside the tunnels, the thing that Jon feels like is watching him. And when you think about how this thing might connect to The Keay Family, how Gerard can wield its power, not only does it make me think about how The Keays could potentially connect to The Institute (outside of the obvious yet very interesting fact of Jonah being close to Albrecht von Closen), but it also gets me thinking about Pinhole Books, Mary Keay’s bookstore. While not technically an archive, it…still could’ve been something pretty close, right. Maybe she sought to create a home for the eye horror as well. Maybe Jurgen Leitner had a similar goal with his library! (Although granted, a lot of Leitners seem to connect to other horrors so I’m not entirely sure about that one.) It’s just…it’s just a lot to take in. Obviously the institute has had to deal with things like The Flesh Hive and Micheal, but…to think that it might have been home to a horror this entire time is concerning. It gets me thinking about so much. From Jonah Magnus, to the tunnels, to Elias, to just…whatever true purpose this place might hold! There’s so many other things as well though, like how the eye horror has a clear theme of knowledge since it hangs around in ancient archives and libraries, and yet Gerard, who clearly has a connection to it, is going out of his way to BURN. BOOKS. What’s up with that? And like, what if the eye horror ends up being specific to just the archives? Does that mean that other places in the institute like Artifact Storage are more tied to another one of ✨the horrors✨? I just…UUUUUGGGHHH this is so much to take in oh my god. And you want to know what the funny thing is? We’re STILL. NOT. DONE. Because both Gertrude and Jon have follow-ups to give us, and….oh boy.
So, let’s start with Gertrude. I think one of the most peculiar things about her follow-up is that it’s very different from the one she did in Tightrope. There, she was entirely certain of what she was dealing with, seemingly having extensive prior knowledge on The Other Circus. Here though, I mean…she’s still a hell of a lot more sure of things than Jon, but it seems like this was part of an ongoing investigation she was doing, rather than being just another statement for her. Either way, she was clearly taking proactive measures to investigate this case and deal with what it implied…but maybe she was just a little bit TOO proactive. …I’ll get to that in a bit. The second thing of note here is that we learn the entire statement was done off the record, meaning that, on a sentiment shared by Jon, Gertrude did not trust the institute. And honestly, who can really blame her? I’ve already explained why I think the archives are home to some eldritch eye monster, and I get the feeling she knew that as well. Still though, considering she had a lack of faith in the institute for at least 17 years given the time between this recording and her death, I really have to wonder what she did with this mistrust? On top of that, it might add even more to the idea Elias killed her. After all, it would be in character for the head of the institute to do so if she threatened its foundation…although if he did kill her, I still think there might have been a bit more reason to do so. Anyways, it’s just really interesting to know she figured out something was wrong with this place, and I am…very concerned by what that something might be. Anyways, after bringing up some real world history, Gertrude says something…very interesting. And I’m not talking about the accounts that describe people being tortured or sacrificed in worship of pagan deities, even though that’s interesting for admittedly obvious reasons. I’m talking about the part where she says that an unnamed historian claimed that the ones who destroyed The Serapeum were not Christians…but a group known as “Those Who Sing The Night.” And if that doesn’t evoke The People’s Church of The Divine Host, I don’t know what does. Obviously night makes sense as a motif, as does singing, since Natalie did a lot of creepy singing in Episode 25. But on top of that, Walter’s torch went out for mysterious reasons while he was in the caverns, and you know how the church’s symbol is a closed eye? Well, that seems to signify a potential rivalry between the darkness and the eye horrors, which would explain why “Those Who Sing The Night” would destroy The Serapeum, and why Walter was able to see in the supposedly paranormal darkness. The eyes were combating the power of the darkness, since they are the only things that can “see in the dark.” Still though, their potential presence here is interesting for another reason. Maxwell Rayner is old, but not THAT old, so there’s a very real possibility that the church has been reforged time and time again. Rayner isn’t the true founder, just the founder of the church’s modern iteration. Hell, maybe he isn’t actually in charge anymore, since the church supposedly disbanded in 1994, although I still think there’s a possibility that was a cover-up. Gertrude also makes a strange sound after mentioning this group, which signifies familiarity to me. I feel this makes sense, due to the screams coming from Hither Green Chapel on the day she died. Finally, Gertrude suggests that The Order of St. John might have been hunting down ✨the horrors✨, and that maybe the robed figure was a previous archivist. ….If it really is Micheal I’m going to cut out my tongue.
And finally, we have Jon’s supplemental. I’m just going to start out by saying that OH MY GOD MARTIN IS THE SWEETEST MAN ALIVE. He’s so genuinely attentive and caring to Jon it’s just so…UGH! I think everyone just needs someone like him around he’s way too nice. And as always, Jon SERIOUSLY needs to get his shit together. Not only should he take better care of himself, but…come on man, do you seriously think people will believe you stabbed yourself with the bread knife when there are ELDRITCH HORRORS around? (Although I have seen people suggest Martin thought he was self harming, and if that is the case then consider my heart broken.) But anyways, Jon’s existential crisis continues. Look, I’m concerned about Gertrude’s fate as well, I’m concerned about how the archivists might date back to at least…let’s see…One Thousand, Six Hundred and Thirty-Two years ago?! Damn. But…you seriously need a nap Jon. But outside of Jon’s ordeal…we have one last reveal (hey that kind of rhymed). So…apparently, six months after the recording of the statement, an explosion happened near the caves in Alexandria that destroyed several buildings and killed seventeen people. And from the looks of things…that explosion happened because of Gertrude Robinson. …wait what. what. I-I’m sorry. WHAT?! Damn, I guess she really WAS proactive. Look, I’ll be honest and say that I already got the feeling Gertrude wasn’t my just a sweet old grandma. Firstly, her name is the most mean old lady name I’ve ever heard, and secondly, she’s appeared in multiple statements, seemingly having pissed off at least two different cults. But like…did she really have to go that far?! I know that there’s some horrific shit going on in there, but like, a guy find the remains of THE LIBRARY OF FREAKING ALEXANDRIA, and she just BLOWS IT UP? Like, as time goes on, it’s become much more clear that Gertrude wasn’t a bad archivist, she clearly took her job…maybe a bit TOO seriously, and I definitely think her poor organization of statements was done on purpose, either to get her successor to read the ones that were important, or to fuck with the institute she so clearly mistrusted. But…can I really call her a good academic when she decided to destroy knowledge THAT valuable. Shame on you, you beautiful anarchist of a senior citizen. Also, I cannot get over the fact that she was SO eager to get rid of something that, for all we know, might also have a home in the institute, that she travelled all the way from London to Alexandria, and KILLED 17 PEOPLE. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I…desperately need to know more about her, if I don’t know everything she’s capable of I will start fearing for my safety. Jon WISHES he could be her. And you know what, if Elias did kill her…I can totally see why! He might have not just been protecting himself, the institute and those close to him, he could’ve very well been protecting THE ENTIRE WORLD. Hell, it doesn’t matter who killed her (ok I mean it still does but like you get what I mean), because that sentiment remains true for EVERYONE. Is…is she the true threat of the series? Should I somehow be more concerned. …I don’t even know at this point. Anyways…great episode, loved the protagonist, the implications are amazing, Martin is the purest man to ever grace god’s green abominable earth…but I really need to take a second and contemplate. I’m afraid there might be a Gertrude under my bed…
- Episode 54, Still Life 🐅
Statement of Alexander Scaplehorn, regarding his evaluation of The Trophy Room taxidermists in Barnet.
ANGLERFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!!!! THE PLOT THICKENS YET AGAIN! So, after having to recoil from last episode, you know, what with the eye horrors and the old archives and Gertrude killing people, etc etc, it was nice to have a shorter episode here. That being said, WOW did this one give me some things to think about. Just…the amount of connections that are showing up…this podcast, especially this season, has never ceased to surprise me with what it’s capable of. The protagonist, atmosphere and pacing already made this a great episode on its own, and the callbacks to the earliest season 1 episodes made it even better. So, let’s just get into it! (Oh and, this isn’t really relevant but I might as well put it here. …TAX collector. TAXidermy. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. Comedy.)
So, I’ll start off with some of the basic things. Firstly, I have to mention that I really, REALLY enjoyed Alexander Scaplehorn as a protagonist. Like, we STAN a king who simply does his job and otherwise minds his own business. Literally went through the horrors and then just went back to living as normal, what a champion. Honestly, this is probably the most sympathetic portrayal of a tax collector I’ve ever witnessed in a piece of media, and I’m surprisingly not upset about that. Also, some other people have pointed this out, but I think it needs to be said just in case. This man is excited to infodump on some guy he just met about taxes, is fine doing so as long as he’s attentive, immediately notices how uncomfortable the atmosphere is, struggles making conversation, is simply trying to get through his day without trouble…and then goes on to say he has a cousin with autism. I think someone needs to tell him something about himself…and that’s all I’m going to say. (Also jsyk this is coming from an autistic person who experiences all of this, so I’m not trying to make stereotypical assumptions or anything.) …Anyways, outside of the second most legendary protagonist after Joshua Gillespie, I’ve gotta say that I really liked the whole atmosphere of this episode. Taxidermy, while admittedly kind of freaky, is something that I’ve always been a little bit drawn to ever since I learned about it just due to the vibes alone (unless it’s of a cat, if it’s of a cat I cry), so I really liked the whole vibe of an old taxidermy shop. And like…I get why some might be freaked out by it, but I’d be lying if I said the idea of someone owning some of the world’s oldest skin didn’t kind of entice me, that’s just a pretty cool thing to own. One other small note I have, although it’s not from the statement, was Jon’s line here. “I may not entirely trust my assistants, but…I won’t lose them.” …. :(. Anyways…moving on to ✨the connections✨…(who’s going to tell him…)
Ok, so, the first obvious connection to a previous episode comes from when Alexander first enters The Trophy Room. (which by the way, is apparently the name of a real world taxidermy shop, but only in the US.) Here, Alex sees a stuffed tiger in the window with glassy eyes. As soon as I heard this, I immediately thought back to Tightrope, where this same tiger made an appearance. Not only does this connect the episode’s plot to The Other Circus, which I’ll get more into later, but from both episodes, we can tell that this tiger isn’t exactly….real (although the skin might still be), but it’s definitely capable of “coming to life.” Definitely seems like this applies to the other taxidermies as well, and based on Tightrope, as well as other parts of this episode, I really do think that The Other Circus is Daniel’s supplier for the taxidermy, or at least part of the circus. And speaking of which, we have Daniel Rawlings. Now, much like Sarah Baldwin from Skintight, Daniel Rawlings was mentioned in Episode 1 as one of the people taken by The Anglerfish, and he too seems to now be an avid smoker with a connection to the monster. Along with this, both of them have a very apparent connection to skin which is…interesting. And obviously, The Anglerfish itself is here as well, hooray!(?) Not too much to say about its appearance here, other than that Alex was probably smart to have not went down to the basement in the end, and that I found it interesting how it was repeating a different phrase than what it did in the first episode. I think it’s fair to assume that The Anglerfish changes the phrase it uses to lure people depending on its location. It asks for a cigarette while in the alleyway, and acts as a shop clerk while in The Trophy Room. I think that’s why Alex says it was almost mechanical in its speech, because the things it says are like auto-generated phrases made for specific circumstances. And the final overt connection to previous episodes was the return of everyone’s favorite delivery…somethings, Breekon and Hope. I’m honestly kind of surprised by how frequently they show up, but I’m not complaining. I was also reminded by the last episode with how all of the taxidermies looked at Alex, but I’m not sure if that genuinely means anything or not, especially since the eyes were all glassy, signifying a lack of pupils to properly look at someone with. So, that’s a basic assortment of recurring characters and concepts, but with all of that in mind, how does everything connect?
Let’s start off with Breekon and Hope, as well as The Other Circus. These two already have a very apparent connection, as Breekon and Hope were seen as members of the circus in Tightrope. Now, when I gave my thoughts on that episode, I suggested that these two left The Other Circus and started their own business, and while I still think that’s the case, I think that they might have less of an antagonistic relationship than I initially thought. Granted, it’s possible they stole The Other Circus’ taxidermies, and they’re giving them to Daniel in order to keep them hidden, but I kind of think that, while now separate, their delivery company is still on good terms with The Circus, or maybe a straight up offshoot of The Circus, and that’s because of…motivations. You see, the more I think about it, I realize that Sarah and Daniel seem to spread fear in a very similar way to that of the circus. You see, Sarah and Daniel never hurt the protagonists of the story, they just…unnerved them. Sarah pulled her skin off in front of Melanie King, and Daniel made the taxidermy move in front of Alex, but they never really tried to kill them. Daniel…might have been trying to, but given how neither he nor Breekon and Hope bothered to give chase, I don’t really think he was that dead-set on murder. And then take a look at The Other Circus. Now yes, Leanne Denikin’s ex-boyfriend died because of the calliope, but granted, no actual member of the circus played it themselves in that scenario, and when Nikolai Denikin, an actual member, did, no one was seen dead. And yes, Yuri Utkin’s brother Ivan did die at one point, but there’s no real evidence that his death was caused by The Other Circus. When we look at what the circus actually did…they just scared people, nothing more. So you have these two groups with very similar methods of scaring people, and…I don’t know, it makes me think that The Other Circus and servants of The Anglerfish might be chill with each other, and that might in turn mean that Breekon and Hope maintain some form of a positive relationship with the circus, even if they aren’t direct members anymore. But…that all gets me thinking even more. You see, on my list of ✨the horrors✨ I cited two of them as “The Anglerfish” and “Whatever The Other Circus serves”. But now I’m wondering…what if The Other Circus serves The Anglerfish? They have this apparent connection now so…maybe. I still need quite a bit more time to wrap my head around this idea, but like think about it for a second. The Anglerfish HAS servants, and The Other Circus acts in a similar way to how they do, functioning with things like fake audiences, dolls and taxidermies…it just feels like it connects in some sort of way. But then again, as time goes on, it kind of feels like The Anglerfish is struggling to live up to levels of eldritch that the other members of ✨the horrrors✨ are, so what if it isn’t a horror at all, and something a bit lesser? WHAT IF- Ok. Ok I’m getting a little bit incoherent with my thought process now. Look, the cut and dry is that I definitely think The Other Circus, Breekon and Hope, and The Anglerfish and it’s servants have some sort of connection, due to them all playing into this episode, and the fact that they all have similar themes, and that they’ll all end up coming together at some point or another. This statement is really good and a lot of fun on its own, but…it certainly has given me a lot to think about, even if it’s not in the most coherent way. But of course, I can’t just stop here. Because we have a follow-up and a supplemental to get through and…well, it’s…certainly pretty interesting…
So, I already mentioned that…absolutely gut-wrenching line from Jon, but that’s obviously not everything there is to talk about here. Firstly, Jon mentions that The Trophy Room is still in operation. There isn’t all that much to say about this, other than that it’s…concerning to know that whatever weird operation this trifecta of factions seems to be a part of is still continuing. But that aside, what really gets me here is the involvement of our beloved little freak, Not!Sasha. Now, I think it’s safe to say that she’s obviously lying about how there wasn’t anything all that strange there (which Jon should REALLY catch onto soon), but as unnerving as that is, it’s also pretty in character and expected of her. What’s a bit more intriguing here though is how…eager she was to investigate. The most simple reason I can think of as to why she wanted to go check the place out was that she clearly likes wax museums, and…taxidermy stores certainly have a similar vibe. But I think there’s a bit more of a reason as to why she went to The Trophy Room…and that lies in what Jon tells us about Daniel Rawlings. You see, outside of the identical hair, the Daniel who owns The Trophy Room looks nothing like the one who went missing in 2006. Couple that with the fact that Daniel is strongly implied to be a taxidermy himself, so you know, not a real person, and I start to get thinking. What if The Anglerfish skins it’s victims, and puts them on top of non-human beings that then start pretending to be those people? What if the real Daniel Rawlings, and the real Sarah Baldwin are dead? What if “Sarah” peeling off her skin was a way of showing Melanie King her true form? What if they are somehow aligned with the anatomy students? What if these non-humans are extremely similar to the impersonator, but need a higher being to give them identies, rather than just taking one themselves? What if Not!Sasha is a direct servant of The Anglerfish, who seeks to bring harm to the institute? …I know I’m making some big claims here, but…I just feel like I might have uncovered a big mystery. I’ve thrown out the possibility of The Anglerfish maybe not being one of ✨the horrors✨, but in all honesty…I still think it is. I’m starting to wonder if maybe just maybe, all of these characters, Sarah Baldwin, Daniel Rawlings, Breekon and Hope, Not!Graham/Not!Sasha, the anatomy students, The Other Circus, and maybe even more, are all servants of The Anglerfish. All of them faceless monsters who are given new identities by their god, and seek to do its bidding by unnerving as many people as possible? At this point, I’ve basically just devolved into crack fan fiction, but I have to be honest when I say that, while I’m certain I’m far off from the truth in some aspects…I feel like I might be on to something here. In short, I think that Episode 1 is much more important than I initially thought, and that a lot, and I mean A LOT of things are going to connect back to the very first spook. …As scared as I am by Episode 53 introducing the prospect of one of ✨the horrors✨having been in the archives this entire time…I’ve gotta say…Not!Sasha is giving it some close competition. But with all of that out of the way…um, what about the supplemental?
“Supplemental: I broke into Gertrude’s flat.” OH MY GOD. That has…no right being as funny as it is. I would say “I’m afraid Jon’s hit rock bottom”, but there’s still 26 episodes left of the season, and 146 left of the entire series, so I get the feeling that his downward mental spiral is only just beginning! Yay…I-I think? Well, outside of Jon’s 16th felony of the month, what did he actually find in here. Well, not much, as from the looks of things Gertrude was a minimalist, but there were a few things worth noting. Firstly, we now know that she owned a laptop charger, meaning she…well, she obviously was in possession of a laptop at one point of another. This is intriguing if only for the fact that I feel like the series might be heading in a direction where Jon’s going to have to break into her laptop, kind of like that one part of Gravity Falls if…anyone who’s reading that has watched it. (And if you haven’t, go do that it’s really good.) Secondly, Gertrude threw away books after reading them. Since most of her books were apparently on history, I wonder if she was secretly studying ways to get rid of ✨the horrors✨, and decided to get rid of the books in an attempt to cover her tracks. And finally…the few books she did own had eyes cut out of the faces on the covers. Given what might be lurking in the archives I can’t entirely blame her…but it does make me wonder if much like Jon…she was suffering from her own paranoia. Hm. Well, that about wraps it up. Overall this episode was thoroughly enjoyable but…man, my brain has been absolutely frazzled. I’ll probably take a break tomorrow just to process everything, as there’s so many other rabbit holes I could go down if I wanted to but…I just don’t have the energy. Gertrude, the eyes, The Keay Family, Micheal, Not!Sasha, The Anglerfish, The Other Circus, Breekon and Hope, Jon, Elias….it’s all running through my head, and I need a break.
Supplemental: Ok, there are a couple of other things I should mention briefly. Firstly, I cited Breekon and Hope as servants of The Anglerfish who unnerve people…even though they don’t do it nearly as much as others. There is an explanation for this though, that being that while I think they’re still on good terms with The Other Circus, they’re still somewhat disconnected nowadays, and if the circus does honor The Anglerfish, they might not be AS devout to it as others. Even so, they DID deliver the table to the institute, so I think they still serve it in one way or another. Another thing I wanted to mention was Martin, specifically that note about him lying. I haven’t brought much attention to it since the initial reveal, but someone in the YouTube comments mentioned that Martin has a fondness for spiders…and spiders do seem to be a prominent member of ✨the horrors✨. However, that fondness for them could still be nothing, and even if it is something, it’s worth noting that the spiders are currently one of the more mysterious aspects of the story so…I’m not too sure just yet, but I thought it was interesting. Anyways, onwards to Episode 55!
- Episode 55, Pest Control 🐜
Statement of Jordan Kennedy, regarding several encounters while working in Pest Control. Statement taken direct from subject.
AND IIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!! So…it’s confirmed. Jane Prentiss is officially, indisputably dead. Her ashes are indeed with Jon…:(. Well, suffice to say, it was very nice to get an episode that kind of felt like a memorial for her, just a nice little sendoff. But despite me mourning her forever and always, WOW this episode made me giddy. It had another statement live from subject, which is always a pleasure, presented a great look at Jon’s mental state and trauma from the infestation, and also set up some extremely interesting and EXTREMELY exciting plot points for the future. Man…this season just keeps on dropping amazing episode after amazing episode. Much like Section 31, this one had a structure where is was sort of…multiple statements in one, so I think I’ll go one after another. So, that means I’m starting off with the ants! …gross.
So, before I get into the statement, I should start with the few things that come before. As mentioned earlier, the statement comes live from one Jordan Kennedy, an exterminator who helped burn Jane’s body. Now I admittedly don’t have all that much to say about Jordan as a character (and NO, it’s not just because he killed the best character), there’s just not a ton to say about him that isn’t obviously seen in the episode. However, apparently Jonny was in a band at some point, and both Jordan and Basira are voiced by other members. I just think that’s really cool, and I might have to listen to that band at some point… Anyways, the other think that stuck out to me was Jon’s mental state because…wow and yikes. Yikes as in…I don’t think he’s doing that well, but wow in the sense that I’m very happy with how they portrayed his trauma here. It’s just nice to know that despite things like Gertrude and Micheal, the podcast is still very aware that the infestation hurt him badly. I mean, it hurts to see…but it is very good writing. Well, with all of that out of the way, what do we learn from Jordan’s first statement? Well firstly, it’s nice to know that tma is still persistent in its efforts to prove that I find large amounts of insects disgusting, even when in my heart I wish I didn’t. Just….ugh, the image of all of those ants in the house makes me squirm. I will also say that the whole scenario here really did remind me of Blood Bag, so while I initially found connections between that episode and The Flesh Hive ones pretty speculative, I’m a LOT a more sure of it now. …I feel like the institute could’ve made use of that syringe in retrospect. I mean Salesa DOES give artifacts to them so…like, what the hell dude? You couldn’t have spared ONE syringe? So yeah, the ants are absolutely terrifying, I don’t like the fact that they didn’t immediately die, and…oh god, what the hell was in that fridge? (Well, you know, outside of ants.) Anyways, this could’ve just been written off as another gross as shit statement…until we’re met with the return of John Amherst, the creepy guy from Taken Ill. (Side Note: I already thought he was involved due to the description of his suit and the yellow oily residue, so getting those suspicions validated post-statement was VERY satisfying.) Anyways, Amherst’s presence here is…strange. Jon had already made comparisons between Jane’s statement and that of Nicole Baxter in MAG 36, but that was more of a reference to how the statement givers both talked about fear in similar ways. Outside of the general theme of…gross, as well as a fly landing in Amherst’s face, any other connections were interesting, yet tenuous. But now…yeah, there’s a very clear connection! Obviously both of them gave off a very similar smell, but they also care deeply for the insects that reside with them, Amherst with his ants, and Jane with her…well, they call them worms, but in retrospect I actual think they’re supposed to be Wasp Larvae, especially with the new information in this episode. I’ll still call them worms though. The major difference here though is that Jane was basically a walking corpse being piloted by her worms, while Amherst is a lot more human and in control of himself, although he is still clearly unstable given how quickly he was willing to kill Jordan…and also the fact that he seems to be making an effort to make his (former) home as disgusting as possible. Jane was also very destructive all of the time, while Amherst is clearly capable of holding back when he needs to, such as in MAG 36. So while I think these two are definitely connected, and both have probably forged connections with The Flesh Hive, said connections clearly work differently, and I’m interested to see where they go with this in the future! It’s very cool to see them delve more into the concept of regular humans who just happened to be marked by one or more of ✨the horrors✨, and as someone who loves Jane dearly, I’m very excited by the prospect of more like her, even if Amherst doesn’t quite live up to her yet, in my opinion.
There is…one other thing here in this story about Amherst that is pretty interesting though. The last major similarity between him and Jane is that they are both very weak to fire. Granted we already knew this, since C02 was used against Jane, and Trevor the Tramp and his companion seemingly set fire to Ivy Meadows, but this similarity becomes a lot more interesting when we look at the second story Jordan tells us. Oh uh…yeah, my thoughts on this story individually. Uh…yeah it was really good, super gross and I’m interested in Amherst. But anyways, the second story. Now, since Hive is still my favorite episode, I obviously REALLY liked this part. Not only because it’s a cool callback, but also because as much as I love the abstract, slam poetry-like storytelling in Hive, it does make the episode a little bit hard to follow at times, which I overall think adds to the horror, but getting a look at those events from someone who isn’t…basically dying was nice. So, the first thing here I find intriguing is the wasp’s nest in Jane’s attic. Firstly, I already thought it was responsible for what happened to her, but this just confirms it, because…ew, I don’t like this thing. It might have produced one of if not the rawest line in the entire story so far but…ew. (Also, this doesn’t connect to the wasp’s nest but I don’t know where else to put it; Jordan mentions a smashed TV in Jane’s attic, which reminds me of the episode Arachnophobia, and the spiders clearly have some sort of antagonistic relationship with The Flesh Hive so…hm…) But, here’s the more intriguing part. The wasp’s nest is described as being unnaturally spongey, and both it, Amherst and Jane are all easily flammable. (also did Amherst die there? Or do we just not know? And like, I know we like to joke about all of the Micheals, but there’s a lot of Johns as well. Ok I’m getting sidetracked.) Now, a couple of people in the YouTube comments pointed out that both of those are cited as features of vampires. And now that I think about it, isn’t it weird that Trevor Herbert, a vampire hunter, somehow knew how to deal with some sort of weird sickness that was seemingly entirely outside of his deal? Unless…the two of them are directly connected. Tma already has a pretty unique depiction of vampires, so to make them Flesh Hive people would honestly just be icing on the cake. Granted what little we’ve seen of vampires doesn’t really have many themes of disease or bugs but…I don’t know, it could work! God…I am still really befuddled by Trevor. Like, how did he survive? Was the person with him Basira’s cop friend? Ugh god I’m getting sidetracked again. Anyways, this story from Jordan is all fine and good, it’s nice to get some more context on Episode 32…but things get really interesting when we see more of Jane’s landlord, Arthur Nolan.
So, this guy was mentioned all the way back in Hive, and if I’m being honest, I…did not think much of him initially. His death in a fire seemed a little suspicious, but all things considered..I had more pressing matters on the mind after that episode. But…wow. Turns out this guy is a lot more important than I initially assumed. (Side note: As I’m writing this, I just realized I finally understand why The Flesh Hive hates the institute. It’s probably because it’s home to another one of ✨the horrors✨! Sorry, it’s just that I’m really realizing a lot of new things about my favorite episode lmao.) Obviously, Arthur Nolan has clear knowledge of the threat that The Flesh Hive poses, so much so that even though he’s a landlord (which is probably the scariest thing in the entire episode), he was willing to burn the entire building and even sacrifice himself if it meant getting rid of that wasp’s nest. Now, not only is that a testament to how fucking scary The Flesh Hive is, but…there’s some other really weird things about Arthur. He didn’t just burn down the building on a whim, because according to Jordan, his flat was extremely warm, and he had an intricate scar on his chest that looked both like a flame and a face in pain. …And all of these connections to heat and fire are just a little bit too suspicious for me to ignore. I’ve had some time to think about it, and I think Arthur Nolan was likely connected to the Sumerian demon Asag, maybe even a part of the same cult that Diego Molina was a part of, and that also seemed to be responsible for the events of Burnt Offering. The general connection to heat is one thing, but just…once again, the fact that he knew how to deal with The Flesh Hive shows a great enough understanding of ✨the horrors✨ from him. And if my classification of ✨the horrors✨ is somewhere along the lines of being correct, then that means The Flesh Hive is opposed to, and likely weak to at least three of them. Those are the eyes associated with The Keays and The Institute, the spiders, and Asag. So…yeah. That about wraps it up on the statement of Jordan Kennedy. In conclusion, Amherst and Jane are clearly connected, The Flesh Hive is weak to fire, it has some strange similarities with vampires, Arthur Nolan has…some sort of relevance, and even though Jane is dead…this story is far from over.
So, what about post-statement and the supplemental? Well, truth be told, there isn’t much here that I haven’t already gone over, outside of two things. Firstly, I found it really weird that Jon said The Flesh Hive “doesn’t seem like the sort of being that would work well with others.” In my opinion…I feel like this kind of goes against the point. Sure, Jane was a walking corpse, but the whole point of The Flesh Hive was that it was…well, a hive, a hivemind. It functioned best when together, it gave Jane a twisted sort of love and affection, its whole goal was to infect more people. (Speaking of which, I think it would’ve been cool if we had gotten to see some more worm zombies than just Jane and Timothy Hodge. Eh, maybe we still will, who knows?) So…yeah, this just comes off as a weird thing for Jon to say in my opinion. But more interestingly, as short as the supplemental was, it does reveal that JON FINALLY GOT A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP FUCK YEAH!!! Super happy for you king, now let’s PLEASE start making that a routine :). Also I do find it funny that the institute gets a fuck-ton of fake statements in Halloween season, that’s just perfect. Well…since I don’t have much more to say, I might as well just mention a largely unrelated theory I’ve been having while I’m here. That kind of seems to be a running theme with this part of the post. Like, this episode is great on its own, but it really does just get me thinking about other stuff. So, something in the YouTube comments I found interesting was theory about how maybe there’s a “four horsemen of the apocalypse” thing going on here. The theory suggested that The Flesh Hive is pestilence, The Piper is war, The Reapers are death, and some unknown thing is famine, and the entire series is building up to some sort of apocalypse. Now, do I believe this theory. Honestly…no. The apocalypse idea just doesn’t have a lot of evidence right now, and there are many other beings like Micheal, The Anglerfish, the spiders, etc, that are just as, if not more weird and eldritch as the ones listed here. However…it did get me thinking. I pretty much entirely forgot about The Reapers for a hot second, and the more I thought about it…they really don’t connect to any of ✨the horrors✨ I’ve listed so far. The only possible connection is one of them showed up during a war like The Piper, but that honestly seems like a MASSIVE stretch that not even I’m willing to take. And I mean, Nathaniel Thorp did kind of imply The Reapers were at the whims of a higher power… So..I’d like to add a new being to ✨the horrors✨, one I’m dubbing “The Master of The Reapers” until further notice. While shrouded in mystery, I could absolutely see this thing being one of ✨the horrors✨. Now, I’m not going to update my list, because I’m still wavering on whether or not The Anglerfish and “Whatever The Other Circus worships” are the same being. If they are the same being, then I still probably have one more horror to uncover, assuming that my number of 14 is correct. But if they’re separate…well, consider the list complete until further notice! I know this might seem out of nowhere, but honestly…I’m pretty confident about this one. I’ll just have to wait and see how close to truth I end up getting. So…yeah! That’s Pest Control. Overall it was another great episode, and I’m very satisfied with how it followed up on my favorite, and with how it sets up a potential return of The Flesh Hive in the future.
Supplemental: Doing school from home while also having terrible ADD can make things very hard when trying to pay attention during online lectures. So, I have come up with a solution:
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- Episode 56, Children of the Night 🛏️
Continued statement of Trevor Herbert, regarding the latter years of his career as a vampire hunter.
OH MY GOD. LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER I TALK ABOUT HIM AT LENGTH. TREVOR. THE FUCKING. TRAMP. APOLLO HAS GRANTED ME THE GIFT OF PROPHECY. So, needless to say, I was very excited when this episode began. I mean, I’ve been wondering about Trevor’s relevance in the story for quite a while now, so obviously I’d be very interested. So with that in mind…this episode is…kind of a weird one for me? Not bad, I still have a lot of good to say about it, it’s just…I don’t know. It might be due to the fact that it’s directly continuing off of a much earlier statement, and also the fact that parts of it are intentionally emitted, but…I have scrambled thoughts about this one. I’ll get into it as I go along, but for now…just know that this is a bit of a strange one, and it’s kind of hard for me to discuss. But regardless, was the episode good? Of course! All of them have been enjoyable and this one isn’t any different! I’m always up for a direct continuation of an older statement, which this season in particular has done a great job with, it’s nice to get confirmation of Trevor’s relevance, and it adds some interesting new elements to a plot point set up in an episode that in all honesty, if it wasn’t for the reveal that all the statements are real at the end of Season 1, I could’ve interpreted as complete bullshit if I wanted to. But with all of the preamble out of the way, let’s get into it!
Firstly, I’d like to talk a little bit about Trevor’s characterization here, and how it contrasts his previous statement, because I think it’s one of my favorite parts of the episode. In Episode 10, Trevor was…a bit more of a comedic character, or at the very least a notable standout. Compared to every other statement giver before him, and maybe even everyone after him so far, all of whom were unsure about what really happened to them with varying degrees of knowledge, Trevor seemed…entirely aware of what he was up against, which made him very memorable in my eyes. But while a little bit of that homeless tramp charm is gone here, I’ve got to say, I REALLY like the contrast in this episode. Here, Trevor isn’t fighting against vampires, he’s fighting against a seemingly completely different horror, and grappling with his murder of another human, both of which make him just as lost and scared as any other statement giver, and help to insert him into the modern story. While I do miss his earlier portrayal..I have to admit, seeing a man that was once much more sure of himself now be shaken like everyone else really puts into perspective how mysterious and terrifying everything is right now, and it’s a very interesting direction that for his character that I like a whole lot, and it makes me excited to see what happens with him next. I guess I also should mention the..odd lack of vampires here as well, considering he is THE vampire guy. Admittedly, while it is a little strange for them to not really be there, I did just write out a theory on how the previous episode connects to vampires so…I don’t know, I’m fine with it. But uh..anyways, what about the things that actually happen in the statement? Well, I feel like I should start off with the structure. Now, this is obviously a direct follow up to Vampire Killer, but not in the way that, let’s say…Tightrope follows up on Strange Music, more in the way that Desecrated Host follows up on Confession. The difference here is that Desecrated Host came right after Confession, while this episode is 46 after the one that contained the first part of the same statement. At the end of the day, I was still able to get a grasp of what was going on, since I still remembered Trevor’s initial story well enough, but…it was just a bit of a shock structurally. Combined with the fact that there are still more missing parts of this statement (which can obviously be resolved in the future, but as of now it’s still a bit of an annoyance), and this episode…just kind of throws you back in after a massive break from the storyline. Usually, episodes take their time getting into things a bit better, and even when they don’t, like in Infestation for example, you still expect those episodes to be chaotic based on what’s going on at the time. Here though…I don’t know, it’s nothing beyond redemption but…it just threw me off my course when I started listening. Honestly, I think a better way to handle it would’ve been to have Trevor submit a second statement entirely separate from Episode 10, since we already know that he didn’t pass away right after giving it like we thought, and it would’ve just allowed for some better flow. I know that was quite a lot of criticism, but ultimately, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. It kind of reminds me of Episode 4. I initially found that one to be confusing as all heck, and while I still think it might just introduce a little bit too much for one episode, I’ve only grown to appreciate it more and more as I learn more about The Keays, The Leitners and Mike, and I think the same could go for this one. I plan to re-listen to tma one day, since there’s probably a lot that I’ve missed or that’ll be recontextualized, so who knows? Maybe I’ll look at this episode more fondly one day, but for now…the pacing was just a little too odd for me. Still though, if the institute can find those missing pieces and finish the statement, I think It’ll all be fine :). Ok, ENOUGH NEGATIVITY. Here’s some things that I actually liked.
Wow I got sidetracked. Ok, NOW I’m actually going to talk about what happened in the statement for real. So, while the stories here are pretty short, I think they’re actually very effective. I still kind of wish that we got to learn more about some of Trevor’s other huntings that are alluded to here, especially since the statement opens with one of those stories finishing, but I like what we got here as well, especially with the newfound unawareness in Trevor we see here. The first statement directly follows up on a minor plot point from Vampire Killer, and…wow. This was genuinely…very bleak. This is probably the only part of a statement that genuinely isn’t paranormal (at least as far as I’m concerned), and yet…it’s one of the scariest things I think this podcast has produced. Not in a shit-your-pants kind of way, it’s just…really depressing. There’s no strange explanation, no interference from ✨the horrors✨…just a sad scenario where a guy, who while not innocent did not deserve death, is murdered by a tortured soul out of said soul’s own trauma, convictions, addictions and mental state. Just…a really bleak and depressing scenario, and Trevor’s writing here really seals the deal. If you couldn’t tell, my favorite part of this episode is just Trevor in general, I already liked him a lot, but this episode really made him grow on me. Honestly…he might be one of the most terrifying statement givers so far. Not Jane levels, but…he’s just so morbidly conflicting. Because like, you UNDERSTAND him, you realize why he thought Alard was a vampire, you understand how deeply distraught he was after commuting the murder, and really do sympathize with him, and yet he still terrifies me. The way that he talks about the hunt being an addiction harder to remove than heroin, the way it becomes so clear that he’s become so traumatized and used to a life of stalking and killing monsters, that he can easily make a slip-up as grave as this…it’s just really depressing, and one of the best things about this episode by far. Ultimately, I don’t have much to theorize about here, since like I said, this doesn’t seem to be remotely paranormal, although I will say that the scars on Not!Stanley Kubrick (I know he’s not one of those things, I just think it’s funny wordplay) we’re pretty interesting. I doubt they were actually from Alard but…maybe Stanley had a chance encounter with some actual vampires. Hm.
The second story that Trevor tells us is..almost the inverse of the first one. It doesn’t have quite as much in terms of interesting character writing for him, but it does have some very interesting lore implications. Even then, I still think there’s some interesting character writing here. This was definitely the moment where Trevor’s life stopped becoming just about vampires, when he got involved with other parts of ✨the horrors✨, and it shows. Like, Jonny Sims REALLY did a great job with the delivery, even if it’s slightly less comedic than Trevor’s last appearance. It was also interesting how he talked about “things lurking in the dark”. That does feel very Divine Host core to me. (Oh btw, I’m just going to calm it The Divine Host now, because the full name is way too long lmao.) Honestly, given the name of the episode, I fully expected The Divine Host to play at least..a partial role in the story here, and yet…nothing. I mean, I know they played a role in at least one, most likely two very recent episodes but.. “Children of the Night?!” I mean, what does that rule even signify outside of “spooky monster?” Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself…what about what actually happened here? Well, I can’t really say much about Craig for the time being, due to the pitiful amount of information, but I can talk about the spider lady. This is the first time spiders have been prominent in a statement since..Hive I think, and given how I speculate spiders connect to one of ✨the horrors✨, I’m more than happy to see more of these little things, even though I did not expect it at all. But anyways, the thing that really caught my attention with this spider lady was just…how similar to Jane she was. I mean, she pulls Trevor in like the wasp’s nest tried to do with Jordan in the last episode, she’s described as being kind of greasy, gross and later hollow, and is crawling with insects! That’s literally just Diet Jane! …But that’s so weird to me. I talked at length about how I think Jane and Amherst are at the very least vampire-adjacent, but Trevor looks at this thing that is so similar to Jane, and goes out of his way to separate it from vampires as much as possible, so there’s already a hole in that theory made right after I proposed it. And secondly, the spiders are implied to have an antagonistic relationship with The Flesh Hive, what with them eating the worms and potentially forcing it to attack the institute early, so WHY DO THEY FUNCTION SO SIMILARLY?! Someone in the YouTube comments proposed that maybe the worms, spiders and ants are all against each other, and while that could explain Jon’s weird comment about how Jane and Amherst don’t seem like beings that would want to work together, it also..it just makes things so much more complicated at the moment. Because either I have to make ants their own thing (which forces me to make The Anglerfish the figure of worship for The Other Circus before I’ve even decided if that’s the route I want to go down), or I have to make all three bugs the same thing, and quite frankly, I CAN’T HANDLE THAT RIGHT NOW. …This whole podcast is one big mindfuck and I love it so much. So…yeah, this one spider lady is driving me insane, and I have no idea how Trevor is dealing with it now. And you know, on that note…I do have one more grievance.
I’m just going to add a quick disclaimer; I’m about to be so fucking petty. Look, like I’ve said a million times, I do still like this episode. In fact, as I’ve been writing this, and as I’ve been thinking more about what the episode does well, I’ve come to like it a lot more than I thought I did initially. The moral of the story is that first impressions are bullshit. But, I am basically tasking myself with documenting all of those first impressions, so here’s the thing. While I’m sure all of the strange mysteries surrounding Trevor will be solved eventually, and that all of these dumb complaints will mean nothing in the end…I was expecting a few more answers. The reveal of the reason for Trevor not dying just being that…Martin got the wrong idea was, while a completely acceptable answer in the long run, a little bit anticlimactic for me. I think I need to accept that as time goes on, there’s a very real possibility that the answers might not be as crazy as I thought (which in some cases is a good thing, holy shit I will get to that when I talk about the supplemental), and that’s ok. I just…I guess after wildly speculating about how he survived in my head for 20 episodes, I was a little disappointed. But on top of that, there was some other things I was really hoping to get answered. I was hoping for more information on how vampires function, more on that person who seemingly helped burn down Ivy Meadows, and just more on…what Trevor is doing right now. Like, what’s his goal? How far has he moved away from vampires, and onto something greater? And all of this wouldn’t be that big of a deal if Jon had bothered to question some of it himself. Like, I know I worry for him constantly digging down rabbit holes, but like, I’m doing it too, AND INSANE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS STICK TOGETHER GOD DAMNIT. But in all seriousness, I would’ve just liked him to speculate a bit more here, especially considering that it was him who revealed the identity of the old guy in Episode 36, not the actual statement giver. But like I said, please just understand that all of this is very nitpicky , and going on the assumption that most of these plot points get answers down the line, these complaints will likely be irrelevant one day. Also understand that I would not be bitching this much about something I don’t absolutely love, I do NOT have the mental stamina or the time to be a genuine hater. Even if I was initially a little bit disappointed by the lack of answers, and even if this isn’t my favorite episode in the season, it was still very good, which I’ve determined is the usual minimum quality for this podcast. While I hope to see some more answers in the future, this was still a worthwhile episode, and it gets me excited for what’s to come. Still a great time :).
But you know what, the statement could’ve been utter garbage and I’d still hold the episode in high regards due to the supplemental. Holy shit. Holy shit you guys. I’m not even breathing I’m hyperventilating at this point. So..Jon…man….I think it’s time for your sedation 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉 I…I don’t think this twink is doing too well everyone. Ugh, and this happens right after the episode where we get confirmation of a good night’s sleep for this “man”. This is by far the most unhinged he has ever been, and while I kind of love that..I am also terrified by it. Once again, I have to give serious props to Jonathan Sims (real life) for his deliveries, because HOLY FUCK HIS POOR VOCAL CORDS. The fact that a simple misunderstanding, one that occurred MONTHS before…not even this, but the fucking Prentiss attack, can drive him so far over the edge is NOT. A GOOD. SIGN. I’m coming to love unhinged Jon, and the sheer furious energy of this scene only makes me love him more, but POOR MARTIN. Like, this guy is the only person in this show I can look at and be fully confident he has done nothing wrong, and yet HE has to suffer being yelled at by his loser crush. And he handles it so well too it’s just UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S THE SWEETEST GUY AND I WANT ALL THE GOOD THINGS FOR HIM. He’s willing to expose his greatest secret to calm down Jon in a moment of emotional distress and, you know, if it wasn’t for all of the other shit that needs to be sorted, I would have Jon and Martin kiss right now. If there are plushies of them out there, please let me know, I would like to mash their faces together, and then tuck Martin into bed while I defenestrate Jon. Oh, and mentioning his secret…oh my god. 14 episodes of buildup, wondering what big secret Martin had…and this is the answer. I never expected him to be evil or anything, but I did expect the reveal to be pretty big and shocking…but no. He just…he just lied on his résumé. That. Is. ….peak comedy. Absolutely hilarious, ten out of ten. I am never going to forget this until the day I die. What an absolute icon of academia. He drops out of High School (Bri’ish) to support his mom, lies about PARAPSYCHOLOGY of all things on his résumé, and then some random stoner guy just recruits him, and the next thing he knows he is being hunted down by worms. He is the silliest guy known to man oh my god. This might just be the best example of a purposefully anticlimactic reveal I’ve ever seen, and that is saying something. And OH MY GOD IT MADE JON HAPPY! FUCKING YES! Now, I would say that I think this will help repair Jon and Martin’s relationship, and that Jon will finally calm down. The only problem is that I don’t actually think that, but…it’s progress. So, yeah, amazing supplemental, probably my favorite. Goodnight Tumblr, I hope you have dreams of squeezing Jon like a squeaky toy. :)
Supplemental: call me micheal the way i lure people into liminal spaces with my charm
- Episode 57, Personal Space 🔒
Statement of Carter Chilcott, regarding his time spent in isolation aboard the Space Station Daedalus in September 2007.
Everyone seems to say that you will eventually find an episode of tma that targets you specifically. I don’t really want to give a definitive answer as to what that episode is until I’m finished, but for now…this is absolutely that episode. Holy. Shit. What sins have I committed that warrant experiencing those 21 minutes of raw, unbridled fear? What does Rusty Quill have against me? And why is it that despite how fucking shaken I am, this is absolutely one of my favorite episodes in the entire series? Like, IT HAS NO RIGHT BEING THIS GOOD AFTER WHAT IT JUST DID TO ME. Wow…I’m still processing what I just witnessed. From the moment this episode started, I knew I was in for an experience, and while the plot is fairly simple without a whole lot of moving parts…that just makes it all the more terrifying and brilliant. I…have thoughts on this episode. Boy oh boy, do I have some thoughts. So…let’s just get into it as I try not to scream. Actually, I shouldn’t have to worry about that now that I think about it. After all, no one can hear you scream in space :,).
So the episode starts, and I’m already scared shitless. Usually there’s a bit more of a slow build towards the horror, but NOT HERE. They just threw me right in, and it was horrifying all throughout, yippee! Granted though, I haven’t really felt that since…Burnt Offering, I guess, but the feeling hasn’t been this strong since Hive so…yeah you can probably see why I love this episode so much. Carter’s speech at the beginning…haunted me. Thinking about how tiny and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of the universe is already pretty terrifying to me, but I at least find a little bit of comfort in the idea that we aren’t the only living things out there, that there’s more than just black void out in space. So to have Carter, this man who has seen the horrors of space firsthand immediately refute this idea with such conviction, while still standing by the idea that we are so finite…damn. So already, the episode is off to a great start, but what about the rest of it? Well, a lot of my more in depth thoughts only really come out when you consider what’s revealed to post-statement, so for now I’ll just talk about some neat and terrifying aspects of the episode that I found notable. Firstly, there’s some pretty clever imagery here with the names of certain things. Most people probably know the name of the space station, “Daedalus” as the name the father of Icarus from Greek myth. You know, that guy who knew jack shit about how heat works? Well, Daedalus was also the guy who built the labyrinth, which was notably used to imprison and isolate certain people and monsters. These references to isolation continue with Carter watching “28 Days Later”, a film that deals with such a topic. Just thought those were some cool references. But, on the note of the name Daedalus, I did find it a little bit interesting that one of Carter’s hallucinations was that of the door opening. It’s probably a stretch, but…given how Micheal’s backrooms were kind of reminiscent of the labyrinth, I do wonder if there’s a connection there…hm. But anyways! What about all of the terrifying stuff? Well, I don’t have that much to say about the spacesuit, as I honestly have…no idea what that was supposed to mean, outside of providing false hope of seeing another person, but…everything else was freaky as shit. The earth being gone, the cameras being cut…and the message on the lock. Holy fuck. That will haunt me in my nightmares. “NO ONE IS COMING” is the new “Take her not me”. …I don’t know if the code in the safe has any significance though. And like…can I just talk about how tragic and traumatized of a character Carter is? Like it still amazes me that this show can make episodes about people nailing meat to their walls, and then make THIS, AND BOTH OF THEM STILL WORK REGARDLESS. Just…the fact that this guy was putting in all that effort to get prepared for the experiment, STILL experienced all of that psychological torture, and tried to kill himself in order to get out of what he genuinely considered to be hell (that part also haunted me)…what a poor soul. Honestly my only complaint with this episode was that we never got to learn if Carter was ok or not. I NEED him to be ok. So…yeah, that’s just an assortment of notable observations and things that scared me. But with all of that out of the way, it’s time I talk about the bigger implications. At the end of the episode, we learn that the Daedalus operation was being run by The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family, and at the very least had some involvement from The Divine Host. And..I certainly have some thoughts about this.
I’ll start off by covering The Fairchilds, as they’re probably the least I have to say about in this scenario. Firstly, I do love that the two big rich eldritch horror families are working together, I think that’s pretty funny, but secondly…yeah, their involvement here just makes sense. I don’t have much more to say about it. I mean, it seems like the family definitely serves the being called The Vast, and given that we are in the VAST void of space, it makes perfect sense for them to be involved here, since such an experiment allows them to throw people into an endless void without even having to use cosmic powers, and we already knew that they worked in aerospace so…yeah, it’s not a surprise to know that they were involved. If I had to guess, I’d assume they were responsible for the empty space suit and the earth, sun and moon disappearing, since both of those deal with some sort of emptiness. Outside of that, all we really learn is that they have a collaboration with The Lukas Family, which is pretty interesting. (Side Note, this episode is currently battling with Literary Heights when it comes to what my current favorite episode of the season is, so…yeah, The Vast does good work.) But mentioning The Lukas Family, what about them? Well, to my understanding, they have the biggest involvement in the experiment. I mean, I think The Fairchilds probably did the most when it came to developing Daedalus itself, but the experiment itself was probably manned by The Lukas Family. We already know they have a habit of isolating people, as show in the other two episodes they’ve been involved in, and obviously the experiment was being manned by Conrad Lukas. (Side note: Considering his mention here, as well as the fact he owns the company that the crew of The Tundra works for, I assume that Nathaniel Lukas is likely the “ruler” of The Lukas Family, and if it’s a Manson-esque cult like I think it might be based on vibes, then he would be the cult leader.) So yeah, I definitely think this episode’s threats are mostly provided by The Lukas Family, which includes things like the lock, the clock stopping, Carter’s weird dreams (which are of graveyards and an open sea, both of which relate to one of the previous Lukas episodes each), and…potentially the cutting of the camera, although that could go multiple ways. So yeah, this episode doesn’t give us that much new information on The Lukas Family, but it does still show us a new member, provides a connection to The Fairchilds, and also shows another strange action of theirs, which is more than enough. But before I get on to the final group, I have a couple of other things I want to briefly discuss. Those things are the food, and the other crew members.
Now, I don’t exactly know what group or power was responsible for infinitely restocking the food, but I think I might have a hunch as to what the food was doing. It’s implied that when Carter nearly starved himself to death, his colleagues took him back to Earth before he died, but I have to wonder if that’s not the case. You see, so much of what happened to Carter…shouldn’t be possible. Obviously The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family set some things up, and can make paranormal things happen, but as far as we’re concerned, none of them were actually onboard so…how would you get all of this weird stuff to happen when there’s no one who can make it happen. Well…there might be an answer to this. Some other people also pointed out something similar in the YouTube comments but…I have to wonder if Daedalus was just a simulation. I know that is a bold claim, but think about it. In a simulation, anything as illogical as what happened on the station could happen perfectly fine, without needing a Fairchild or Lukas on board. So maybe…the food was keeping Carter inside the simulation, and when he stopped eating he simply woke up. It’s still entirely possible that he did starve himself, and that he really was in space, and that his colleagues did bring him back down…but I really like the simulation idea. It makes the whole thing even more tragic and terrifying, because it would mean that Carter never even got to go to space in the first place…which admittedly might be a blessing for him nowadays, but still. And then we have the matter of the the other two astronauts. There’s two possibilities when it comes to what role they play here. The simplest answer is to assume that they were just there in case of emergency, maybe also there to make Carter’s despair greater, since he KNEW there were others outside his confinement. But the thing is, they apparently were also there to do their own experiments, and while that could be a lie…I have to wonder. You see, there’s likely three factions, each serving one of ✨the horrors✨, in charge of the Daedalus operation, yet Carter’s experiment has a clear bias towards The Lukas Family and their desire to isolate. So, what if the other two astronauts were being put through their own torture experiments by The Fairchilds and The Divine Host respectively? And if Daedalus is actually just a simulation…what if they’re still in there? I mean, Carter never ACTUALLY saw them, so…I genuinely do not know. This idea can go either ways, and both of them make me squirm with fear. But with all of those theories out of the way, we have but one more thing to talk about, that being The Divine Host.
So, The Divine Host isn’t actually mentioned by name here, but they absolutely have some level of involvement with what’s going on. This is because Optic Solutions Ltd., the company that provided the cameras, are stationed in Ny-Ålesund. Ny-Ålesund was mentioned in Growing Dark, an episode that VERY clearly featured The Divine Host (or whatever it’s called nowadays), and was listed as the coldest place in the world where the nights are longest. Natalie Ennis kind of implied that the church was going somewhere, so I suspect that Ny-Ålesund is where they’re stationed nowadays…likely to do something very bad. Now, it’s entirely possible that The Divine Host’s involvement here is the same as that of The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family. They’ve launched people into space or a simulation, and want to do some freaky experiments. That makes perfect sense, and I’d assume they’re responsible for…well, obviously the cameras, but probably the 20 minute blackout as well. However…I have to wonder if their involvement was a little bit more antagonistic. Obviously they were involved in the experiment but…maybe not in the same way as the other two groups. You see, I just find it weird that The Divine Host would go out of its way to set up a camera, and then secretly cut the wires to make Carter feel more isolated, not only because that’s kind of elaborate and unnecessary, but also because the isolation is more of a Lukas Family thing. Sure, it could pray on the fear of being alone in the dark but…I don’t know, it’s weird. And mentioning that, outside of the darkness of space, The Divine Host seems to have the least reason to be involved this experiment. Hell, even when the earth, sun and moon disappeared, there were still shining stars visible. So I’m just think that while the idea that they’re working alongside the other two groups makes sense, it’s also possible that maybe…maybe they were trying to sabotage the experiment. Maybe they set up the camera in an attempt to lessen Carter’s isolation, but it was later cut by The Lukas Family. Maybe the blackout was a result of them trying to cut the experiment short. And this makes more sense when you consider the fact that even though The Magnus Institute isn’t really involved with this experiment, The Lukas Family, who is, is a strong ally of the institute. And assuming that the institute connects to the eye monster in Alexandria, and that the Divine Host opposes that monster due to their closed eye symbol…then they’d have every reason to go after a faction that allies itself with their enemy. And OH MY GOD, I just remembered that someone in the YouTube comments pointed out that maybe The Divine Host killed Gertrude, since screams were heard coming from Hither Green Chapel on the day of her death, and as archivist for the institute she’s probably be their enemy, and…ajdjfhejhfjdjsjdjjfjdjjd. ….Ok, I’m absolutely spiraling out of control here. Simply put, I find The Divine Host’s involvement here the most interesting overall, and I think it could easily go in multiple different directions. It’s connections to The Fairchilds, The Lukas Family and likely The Magnus Institute are all very interesting, and I’m just very excited to see everything start coming together.
Wow. What an episode. This is at the very least my second favorite episode of Season 2 after Literary Heights, and it might even top that. The main character and themes of isolation and mental trauma were both relatable and absolutely terrifying for me, the connections between different factions it provides are all extremely interesting, and I really hope to see more of Daedalus in the future. As for the supplemental…well, there’s definitely quite a few things worth mentioning here. Firstly, I’ve noticed that Jon is getting a lot sloppier when it comes to hiding his activity. His meeting with Elias, as well as him admitting he doesn’t trust his assistants on a main recording once was already something, but this is just reckless and…I’m very concerned by that. Secondly, his dialogue here implies a future statement regarding Hill Top Road and the children who lived in that house, which is super exciting! Hill Top Road hasn’t shown up since Episode 19/20, and the children haven’t been mentioned since Episode 8. It’s a very interesting part of the lore to me, and hopefully I’ll learn more about what happened to all the kids living there soon enough. But while that’s all intriguing…we then have Not!Sasha. Firstly…it is CERTAINLY interesting that she asked Jon not to record their conversations. Why is that? Hm? Is it because the audio is weird? CARE TO ELABORATE?! As for the items in her desk, well, the ripped paper could be anything, from scrap to actual torn apart documents (I’m implied to believe the latter, unfortunately), and as for her boyfriend…well there’s a few possible explanations for that. Tom, if that is his “real” name, is described as looking like a stock photo. I hope he too is some sort of monster, but it’s also possible he’s like…a wax figure or something, or maybe Not!Sasha is just editing herself into stock photos, idk. Either way…her behavior is as concerning as ever. So yeah…that sure was an episode. …I’m going to go curl up into a hall now, I think I’ve been a bit too scared today…
Supplemental: Regarding the idea of The Divine Host killing Gertrude, it does seem a little bit obvious, and I’m still most suspicious of Elias, but I will admit that it’s a pretty compelling argument and it makes me suspicious.
- Episode 58, Trail Rations🍴
Unsigned statement regarding potential cannibalism while attempting to travel the Oregon Trail.
…That was nothing like the Starkid musical :(. No lobsters whatsoever. Ok, self indulgent jokes aside, this was a pretty decent one. I don’t have TOO much to say about it, (which is fine given how much I’ve been saying about recent episodes), but I still thought it was a pretty good…if pretty disgusting episode. It definitely has one of the best and most unique framing devices so far, an interesting protagonist and plot line, and a couple of potential connections to other episodes as well. Unfortunately though…my thoughts are just kind of simple, so my commentary will be noticeably more brief than usual. But, with all of that out of the way, let’s talk about yet another episode that displays a normal life in America!
Starting off, I have to say that one of my favorite aspects of this episode is by far the general premise. If you’ve had a U.S. education, then you’ve inevitably read at least a couple of excerpts from Oregon Trail journals, (and also probably played the game based on them, which is a certified classic), so you would therefore know that they are historically freaky as shit. Like. GOD. The things that happen there are…yikes. So I’m very happy that they decided to make an episode based on it, since it feels like a great thing to take inspiration from. And honestly, it really does read like an actual Oregon Trail journal…just if the circumstances were even more dire. Oh god, and speaking of that writing style, what about that opening. I always love it when tma displays the psychological state of its protagonists, and the opening did a really great job doing so. Anyways, what about the statement itself? Well, another thing I really liked about it was the protagonist, Mrs. Carlisle. It’s always a pleasure to have a genuinely intelligent protagonist in any horror story (hence why we stan Joshua Gillespie) and I really liked how she was portrayed as the smartest person in the story, as I feel that’s an unfortunate rarity among women in old-timey stories. It’s just a shame that she was too late to save her husband, I honestly felt really bad for her. As for the rest…well, I thought Eustace Wick was a pretty intimidating, if kind of fun antagonist, and the part where Benjamin tells his wife to eat him after death…yikes. That was…certainly morbid. Lastly, I did really like the ambiguity on Mrs. Carlisle’s fate, while it seems unlikely it does give me hope she survived, and I do have other reasons to believe that which I’ll get into in a second. And…yeah! That’s about it for my general thoughts on the episode. It’s just a very brutal and sad tale about one of the most brutal and sad journeys in U.S. history, with a great framing device and protagonist. I like it! But, there are definitely some notable connections to previous episodes, so I’ll make sure to go over that.
So, starting off, I definitely think that this episode connects to the member of ✨the horrors✨ with a relation to bones and meat, and that Eustace Wick is a servant of it. Granted, he doesn’t display supernatural abilities like The Boneturner, but his prayer towards meat instead of Jesus makes me think he definitely serves this being, and that cannibalism is a part of the process. But that prayer actually adds a new element to this body horror thing, that being an…oddly religious one. This whole religious aesthetic is very present throughout the entire episode, and I find it pretty interesting. Granted, there are multiple cults that seemingly serve different powers, but none of them really take much from real-world religions as far as I’m concerned, outside of Asag being a Sumerian demon. This however…is very overtly Christian in its aesthetic, and I just find that kind of interesting. It also REALLY reminds me of Confession and Desecrated Host. These episodes are among the few that prominently feature Christianity so far, and if you recall, Edwin Burroughs ends up committing cannibalism after having his mind plagued by ✨the horrors✨. It does make me wonder if maybe the college students he ate also compelled him to, at least through his point of view, but unlike Mrs. Carlisle he actually gave in. The only problem is that I think he was being plagued by Asag, due to the amount of heat in Hill Top Road, and I’d be surprised in Asag and the body horror thing are the same. Then again, it’s possible Edwin was subjected to multiple members of ✨the horrors✨, since there was an eye in the window of the church he saw, he walked through a twisted version of his home like Antonio Blake, and the whole thing was seemingly influenced by Breekon and Hope, who are seemingly most allied with The Other Circus, not Asag, so…I don’t know, I could definitely see there being a connection here with religious cannibalism. Another connection that everyone and their mother has pointed out is the last name of our protagonist and her husband, that being “Carlisle”. This is notable as we have already heard that name via Toby Carlisle, who conveniently also showed up in the 18th episode of a season, and had connections to meat. So, I am definitely of the impression that Toby Carlisle is a descendant of our protagonist, which is why I suspect she might have actually survived and made her way to Oregon in the end, but I guess only time will tell if that’s the case. But if that’s the case, then it makes me believe that whatever Eustace was working with…followed her even after she let the cave, and might have continued to haunt her family centuries down the line. The main question posed by Jon in The Man Upstairs was where Toby got the meat…and nowadays, I definitely think that the meat…got him. And lastly, we have what is probably the biggest point of interest here, that being…why in the hell is this journal even here. Mrs. Carlisle never submitted a statement to The Magnus Institute, and yet it is still here within the archives. So…what the fuck. This means that Jonah Magnus, or maybe someone working for him, went out of their way to go to some random cave in Idaho or whatever, and retrieve this journal that, by all means, might not even be paranormal at a first glance. Obviously what happened was terrifying, but Eustace could’ve just been some random psychopath, and Benjamin telling his wife to eat him could’ve easily been written off as hallucinations derived from starvation, fatigue or trauma. We only know it’s paranormal because Jon has to record it on tape, meaning it is very real and important. But like…what the fuck was going on with Jonah? Why and how did he find this single journal inside of some guy’s corpse? Why was it so important? WHAT DID HE KNOW AND WHAT WAS HIS PROBLEM?! God…I’ve got nothing against overworked Victorian men that possess potentially homosexual relationships with their correspondences, but you are all so annoying god bless.
Well…that was a short one. Yeah…I do quite like this episode as a fun individual tale, but I just don’t have much to say about it that isn’t already blatantly obvious. Still though, I’m glad I was able to glean the information I was able to, and it definitely does bring up some interesting revelations about Jonah and the meat. As for the supplemental…oh thank god they’ve suggested therapy. I mean, it’s a shame it hasn’t exactly worked, but I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking that. Also, I now just feel really shitty for kind of forgetting about Tim. Granted, it’s hard to when you’re listening to what’s going on with Jon all the time, but…yeah, Tim also got pretty fucked up, didn’t he! AND THE FACT THAT HIM WORRYING MAKES JON MORE SUSPICIOUS GRRRRR. Either way, I’m glad that him and Martin are trying to do something to help him…I still think knocking him out with a brick would be a good idea but that might just be me. And on one final note…I-I still can’t get over the fact that revealing he lied on his résumé was what Martin needed to make Jon trust him. That is…possibly the funniest workplace scenario I’ve ever heard. Recording ends or whatever.
Supplemental: I said this one was exceptionally short, but then I looked back at my first of these posts and…yeah nevermind I’m actually pretty satisfied with the length here. Me three months ago was a little coward who couldn’t be bothered to write anything meaningful down lmao. …Or maybe I was just a lot more sane I don’t know.
- Episode 59, Recluse 🍏
Statement of Ronald Sinclair, regarding his years spent in a teenage halfway house on Hill Top Road, Oxford.
HOLY FUCK. HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLY FUCK. I. WHAT. I’M GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE I AM AT MY FUCKING LIMIT WHAT THE FUCK. Hold on, I should stop using the devil’s tongue, lest Raymond Fielding throw me to the spiders. I…I am not ok. This episode…did so much. It gave so many answers but also SO many questions, validated one of my earliest theories, and…well it’s just making me spiral out of control. It was absolutely fantastic all things considered, but…oh my god. I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping up with things up until this point, but…am I even going to be able to do that anymore? Is this some kind of sick joke being played by god to punish me for my hubris, where he sends me into the never ending chasm of knowledge as I search for the answers at the bottom that doesn’t exist? ANSWER ME YOU SICK BASTARD. So…I’m happy we got another Hill Top Road statement! Definitely a very interesting part of the lore to me but…wow that’s a lot of lore. Unfortunately, I was being an inconclusive little coward when I wrote my “thoughts” on the other Hill Top Road statements, so before I get into the events of this episode and the truckload of implications it provides, I’m going to a brief overview of what’s currently known about this house and it’s history, as it’s very important to understanding what happens here. So…let’s start with a brief recap. May god have mercy on my mind. …How dare Jonny jumpscare me after the Oregon Trail cannibalism episode.
So, what did we know about Hill Top Road before this episode? Well, the house was bought by Walter Fielding in 1891, inherited by Alfred Fielding in 1924 and then inherited again by Raymond Fielding in 1957. Raymond was a devout churchgoer who used the house as a place where teenage runaways and young people with mental problems could stay and be rehabilitated. At some point in time, a young girl named Agnes showed up, who some presumed to be Raymond’s actual daughter. When she showed up, more and more of the kids living there disappeared, until it was just her and Raymond when she was a young adult, with the latter saying all of the other kids had simply moved on. Eventually, Raymond disappeared, followed by a few local pets and a five-year old boy. In 1974, a week after the boy disappeared, the house burnt down, with Raymond’s corpse being found within, his hand severed. Agnes was nowhere to be found. Now, the timeline gets a little bit tricky here, since Ivo Lensik and Edwin Burroughs’s statements do not line up chronologically, seemingly due to mistakes on the writer’s part. I’m just going to go with Ivo’s statement for simplicity’s sake, so let’s just say that in 2006, Ivo Lensik started re-construction on the dilapidated house, eventually tearing down the tree in the backyard and destroying the box beneath it. He also met a man who claimed to be Raymond Fielding, who observed the tree in the backyard, before leaving the house with singes on the floor. On the same day, Edwin Burroughs seemingly reached the peak of his demonic possession and insanity, which eventually led to him cannibalizing two college students and being given two life sentences at HMP Wakefield. He also lost the ability to say words like “God” or “Jesus”, and to do prayer. According to Martin, one Agnes Montague was found to have hung herself in Sheffield on the day of Ivo tearing down the tree, with a severed hand (presumably that of Raymond Fielding) tied to her waist, seemingly having died the same day she did. However, this Agnes was aged 26, which could not have been the same age as the Agnes who lived on Hill Top Road. And I’m just going to say it right now: I think Ms. Montague is a younger relative of the Agnes on Hill Top Road, and that the reason Raymond’s hand was said to have died the day she did was because Raymond only truly died either when he left the house for one last time, or when Edwin performed an exorcism, and that man who claimed to be him was indeed a ghost. So…yeah. Quite the complicated history surrounding this place. In short, there was a creepy house with two creepy people, it burned down killing one of them, the fate of the other is up in the air although someone who at the very least has connections to her died in 2006, and now the house is dilapidated and haunted as all hell. Overall a mysterious history, but while we are still missing a lot of pieces, this episode gave a lot more insight into what was going on here. So, let’s FINALLY get into it, as well as my overall thoughts on this…absolute ride of a story.
First of all, I just want to say I’m very happy that we got this statement two episodes after it was teased, because I never want to have to bear the burden of waiting 10 episodes for Hive ever again. Anyways, going over the basics first, this episode comes from the perspective of Ronald Sinclair, one of the teenagers who stayed at the house during the 60’s. Not only does this give us a look at what Hill Top Road was like before it burned down, which is just really cool, and makes the other statements even creepier now that we know what happened, but it also made me realize…man. I hate the justice system! Like, I know that Ronald was somewhat troublesome, but that is not how you treat abused children. Actually, how did they not figure out what was going on when the children disappeared? Like…did they just not care to go looking for them. Or was there a more sinister answer….oh no. Anyways, I felt really bad for Ronald, and I’m not surprised that he’s still suffering from the trauma to this day. And that is…pretty much all of the surface level thoughts I have on this episode. Yeah, this one is just so full of back to back reveals and implications that I really don’t have much more to say outside of my wild speculation so…I might as well just get into the real meat right now. The main thing this episode does for us is reveal more about the relationship between Raymond Fielding and Agnes. Initially, Burned Out kind of led me to believe that Raymond was a victim of the creepy girl named Agnes, but now we know that while there’s still quite a lot of mystery surrounding the latter, that information was meant to deceive, and the truth is quite the opposite. So let’s talk about…what the fuck is even happening.
I’m just going to cut to the chase: Raymond Fielding was a massive dick. And also a servant of ✨the horrors✨. Seemingly the one associated with spiders. So, at the end of this episode, we learn that Raymond was secretly killing the children who “left” the house, and then started using their bodies as egg sacks for spiders. First of all…ew. Second of all…WHAT?! This was…a very shocking reveal, especially with its timing in the episode, but it also just makes my brain go WILD. Like…WHY was he doing this? What is the purpose of having all of these spiders? How did the authorities never find out? How many children did he kill? What about his ancestors before him? I just…SSDHHJGGGHHH. Now, Raymond’s methods seem to mostly tie into the table…but that’s its own can of worms, so I’ll get into that later. All I’m saying is that this man was absolutely terrifying, and I am GLAD that he’s seemingly dead for real now. But while this is certainly a shocking reveal, it also reveals some interesting new information about the spiders. They’re tied to control. You see, throughout the episode Ronald and other kids…didn’t necessarily feel like they were being controlled, but just…urged to do things that they usually wouldn’t do. And while I’m glad that an eldritch god still cares about good hygiene and morals…kind of, this was still creepy as fuck, and at the end, Ronald is DEFINITELY being mind controlled as he head into Raymond’s basement. (Side note: I will never not think of Micheal whenever there’s mentions of a creepy door opening.) So this is clearly another power of Raymond’s, but it also applies to the spiders in general. For example, in Arachnophobia, Carlos Vittery was forced to kill the spider from his childhood over and over again, until eventually meeting a fate…very similar to his friends. In Children of the Night, Trevor felt a very similar compulsion when he met the anonymous lady filled with spiders, and Jonathan Archivist Sims himself was compelled to smash a spider on his wall for…no apparent reason, which then led to the worst day of his life (so far.) And while these incidents didn’t involve spiders all that much, need I remind you that Ivo Lensik destroyed the tree out of a strange compulsion, and that Edwin Burroughs said words against his will, and both of those incidents took place at Hill Top Road. So…yeah, the spiders definitely have this interesting relationship with control, and as much as I like to and still will do my best to connect Micheal to everything (please come back baby I miss you so much)…I might unfortunately have to agree with Not!Sasha describing the pattern on the table as a web. I no longer think she was just saying that due to her personal relationship with it…I think she was telling the truth. So yeah! Raymond Fielding was a shitty spider man with mind control powers, how delightful! But while this is…obviously very terrifying, we can at least find some solace in the fact that there was one person who could combat him. That person was dear old Agnes. Holy shit, where to begin with Agnes.
Like I said, I was initially unnerved by Agnes, even in this episode. I thought that Raymond was a sweet old man who ended up being one of Agnes’ numerous victims. Now, while she is still a little bit spooky, I realize that the truth was the stark opposite. Agnes showed up at Hill Top Road two months before Ronald was to “leave”, which seems to discredit the idea that Raymond was her actual father, unless his motivation for murdering children was divorce. If she’s not his actual daughter, then her appearance there is all the more strange, because…why? Well, either way, I’m glad she showed up, because before Ronald left, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. And later on, right before he was about to become a spider nest, said cheek erupted in hot searing pain, and broke him from Raymond’s control. This shows us that Agnes was a hero, and hopefully means that no children after Ronald died…although I’d still be cautious of that assumption. But this gets me thinking about Agnes’ power. You see, I initially thought Hill Top Road was associated with Asag, due to the whole heat thing going on. Now, you’d assume that after this episode I’d come to the conclusion that the house is haunted by the spiders, but hear me out for a second…why not both? Agnes herself is anything but a servant of the spiders, and has these connections to heat, so what if there’s actually TWO beings haunting Hill Top Road. Both Asag and the spiders reside there, residual forces left behind by Agnes and Raymond, who burn and control those who come into their house. It’s interesting that someone so young could forge a connection to such a powerful and horrific force, and I have to wonder if she even connects to that mysterious cult at all, since she doesn’t seem to be a member. Either way, it’s very interesting that we now have two members of ✨the horrors✨ who are weak to heat and fire…makes me wonder more about how The Flesh Hive and the spiders are connected…also why the hell was Raymond a churchgoer if he was clearly worshiping something else? Or was he not? Was it all just a ruse to keep the neighbor’s suspicions at bay? Or was the church also full of spider worshippers? Is that why the neighbors all hated the children? WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE?! …did you know that Basira’s colleague Daisy mentioned spider husk people in MAG 43? Idk, where else am I going to mention that? So yeah, Agnes was definitely a much better person then I anticipated…but this relationship between her and Raymond still leaves a lot to be desired. While this episode sheds a lot of light on what was going on when Hill Top Road was still a halfway house…there’s also quite a bit that needs to be unpacked about it’s future. There’s a lot left to understand. And I am GOING to understand.
So, welcome to the ✨theoretical timeline of Raymond Fielding’s halfway house on Hill Top Road, Oxford until further notice✨, starting after Ronald Sinclair escaped from his spidery clutches. So, according to Anna Kasuma, all of the children left (or were killed) when Agnes was 18 or 19, with it just being her or Raymond in the house, so that’s roughly eight years after she first arrived and started saving people, starting off with Ronald. …And that also means that she was there past the age she was supposed to leave, making her appearance there blatantly different from that of every other child. Now, Raymond clearly knew that something was…off with Agnes, and I doubt it would’ve taken him eight whole years to realize how she was helping people. So why didn’t he just…kill her? Well, Ronald thought that Raymond was afraid of her, and I’m inclined to agree. If Agnes’ power was capable of severing the control over the kids, then I think it’s safe to say that Raymond knew not to trifle with her out of fear for his own life. I think they spent the next eight years locked in a stalemate, where Raymond kept on trying to kill his kids (that is a sentence), and Agnes kept on trying to save them. (lmao, imagine being weak in the face of an eleven year old, get fucked bozo). It’s said that around this time, Raymond went missing, followed by local pets and a five year old boy. Now, Burned Out made me suspect Agnes was behind this, and I mean…that could still be the case. I can’t say with certainty that Agnes was 100% good, I mean she does have eldritch god powers and looks like the twins from The Shining. But…I still think this was Raymond’s doing. Because, think about it for a moment. Raymond’s body was found in his house, meaning that he couldn’t have gone far. And according to Ronald, he was a recluse who never left the house outside of church, to the point where neighbors would often worry about him. If Raymond simply stopped going to church, which he very well could’ve given that there was no one to go with at this point, then people might’ve just proclaimed him missing because they never saw him anymore. So, maybe those pets and that young boy ended up becoming his new prey now that the house was almost empty. And while I can excuse child murder, I draw the line at animal cruelty. Fuck you Raymond, everyone hates you. (If you’re wondering why I hate him so much more than any other antagonist so far…I don’t know, I need someone to vehemently hate so it might as well be him.) Anyways, it was after the disappearance of the young boy that the house burned down, and I’m inclined to attribute this to Agnes due to her likely connections to Asag. I think she burned the house down, killing Raymond in the process, and fled with his severed hand for…some reason. However, due to the fact that the place was home to two servants of eldritch gods…things probably god freaky. Whatever powers Raymond and Agnes served still lay dormant in that abandoned house to this day, burning and controlling whoever walks inside, explaining what happened to Ivo and Edwin. Finally, we have the matter of Raymond and Agnes’ fates, along with…that tree. That damned tree. I…still have no idea what the fuck is up with this thing. It’s like…THE thing that this episode avoided giving answers on. Still though, I’ll try to rationalize what I can, although this is where my thoughts get a lot more muddy.
So, Raymond seemingly persisted as ghost into the future, and I personally think he was tied to the tree. It would explain why the tree was bleeding, and also why his box was underneath it, although why, when, and how he was tethered to it, as well as who tethered him to it and put the box underneath (who is most likely Agnes but that’s still subject to change), is a complete mystery. Either way, I think Ivo’s destruction of the tree and box, Edwin’s exorcism, or both is what led to Raymond truly dying, explaining why what is presumably his hand was found to have died on the day Ivo and Edwin visited. This is very very speculative, but it’s the best I can do when trying to rationalize the timeline. As for Agnes…she’s even MORE difficult to pin down! I initially said that I think Agnes Montague is not the same person as the Agnes from Hill Top Road, but is still related, likely biologically. This is because she was of an age much younger than Hill Top’s Agnes should’ve been. However, I will concede that there’s a slight possibility she is the ghost of Hill Top’s Agnes in the same way as Raymond, explaining why she looks 26, as she wouldn’t have really aged. However, I think there are a few flaws in this way of thinking. First of all, assuming that Hill Top burned down around the time Agnes was 18 or 19, the chances of her being 26 and dying in the burnt down house are ultimately hard to pin down. It’s not impossible for that to be the case, but I can’t be certain. Secondly, I’m playing by traditional ghost rules when discussing Raymond, in that I believe he was bound to the tree, and the house by extension. But Ms. Montague was found dead in a Sheffield, so she can’t really work in the same way as Raymond in this scenario. And finally, Ms. Montague had an actual tangible body after death, where as Raymond, assuming he only truly died after Ivo and Edwin arrived, did not as far as I am aware. So the idea of Agnes also truly dying due to Ivo and Edwin’s actions seems a bit far fetched to me. So, I’m still sticking with my original theory here. That theory is that Agnes Montague is a descendant of the Agnes on Hill Top Road, who was given Raymond’s hand, and died on the same day Ivo tore down the tree for mysterious reasons. And…that’s about it! In short, Raymond and Agnes were quietly beefing with each other for eight years, give or take, Agnes burnt down Hill Top Road, killing Raymond and stealing his hand, left behind two eldritch gods, a creepy tree and Raymond’s ghost, said ghost was dealt with when Ivo Lensik and Edwin Burroughs visited the dilapidated house, and Agnes Montague, a descendant of Hill Top Agnes, hung herself on that same day with Raymond’s hand on her waist. This is…extremely bold of me to make. I only do this because much like Micheal, Hill Top Road is something that is very clearly important with tons of connections to other things, but is also extremely difficult to rationalize at the moment. So…I’m just going to take whatever headcanons I have on Hill Top as fact when writing these until further notice, and then use those headcanons to craft theories that’ll probably end up being wrong. Overall, there is still a lot to learn and a lot of questions to be answered. Like, what’s Raymond’s history? What’s his motivations? What’s Agnes’ history and her motivations? What happened when Ronald left? What is up with the GOD. FORSAKEN. TREE?! All of this is very interesting and I’m very excited, but also terrified of uncovering the truth behind this creepy house and its creepy residents. …But do you want to know what the funny things is. We’re STILL. NOT. DONE. Because there is one last thing. One thing that I have neglected to mention. The thing that from now on will haunt my every waking moment until death. The fearsome, gruesome, UTTERLY TERRIFYING…
tabel :-)
Let me just start off by saying that: I WAS SO FUCKING RIGHT!!! One of if not my single oldest standing theory I’ve had while listening was that the box underneath the tree was the missing piece of the table, and finally, after FIFTY-ONE episodes of waiting for the answer, I FINALLY HAVE IT CONFIRMED. THAT IS SO FUCKING GRATIFYING YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Part of why I love this episode is because it really makes it feel like I’ve gotten to a point where so much is starting to come together, and that tiny little reveal was just the icing on the cake for me. But enough gloating…this stupid piece of wood. WHY MUST YOU HAUNT EVERY LITTLE CREVICE I TRY TO HIDE IN YOU SICK FREAK?! So…this is an interesting episode in regards to the table, in that it is the only one to have it, while also not featuring the impersonator. Now, I can think of a few reasons for this. You see, Not!Sasha described the pattern on the table as a web, which I do believe now due to Raymond’s powers, but there’s also a lot that suggests she said that because the table has trapped her, she must go wherever it goes. So, it’s possible that at this point in time she just…wasn’t bound to it. However, it’s worth noting that in all statements that feature the impersonator, the box is missing from the center. So maybe the impersonator was inside the table, but due to the presence of the box, its bindings were even stronger than usual, to the point where it couldn’t even take anyone. And as for the final potential theory, which is COMPLETE crack; I just think it would be kind of cool if maybe the impersonator was like…the souls of all of the children being used as egg sacks. Like they all got sucked into the table, and start taking over other people’s lives in order to get their own ones back. There’s like…a two percent chance that this is the case but I thought it was an interesting idea. Ultimately, all this really does is make the timeline more confusing…and also makes me think the impersonator doesn’t have a good relationship with spiders. And speaking of which, I feel like it’s worth mentioning how Raymond utilizes the table himself. I think his having everyone gather around it on Sundays was basically his way of keeping control over them, and that maybe the table was what gave him this ability in the first place. Since it’s capable of binding the impersonator on its own, maybe he learned how to harness its power and use it on the children. It’s also pretty clear that the apple in the box is what ultimately caused all of those kids to die and become egg sacks…but given how Ivo destroyed the thing I don’t know if we have to worry about that anymore. But I think the biggest takeaway from all of this is that the table is a weapon. It can be used for good purposes like binding the impersonator (which has backfired multiple times but like…it’s better than just letting it run rampant), but can also be used for sinister purposes like mind control. And given how it’s in the institute as we speak…well, I can only hope that it’ll be used for good going forward. But…UGH there’s so much that its presence here opens up! Like, how do Breekon and Hope fit into all of this? At what point did they bring the table to Graham Folger and then the institute? How many other people was it brought to, if at all. Why was the box separated from it? And why didn’t Jon mention it post-statement?! I….SSTFYGFTUUJGREEERTTYYUUIIUIKJFEWWERYUKKKLL!!!!
Well…that was certainly an episode of The Magnus Archives, a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill, and licensed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license. There is a LOT that I did not touch on in this episode, and probably a bajillion things that haven’t even occurred to me. Hopefully though, I’ll touch on those in the future when they’re appropriate to bring up. And like I said, Hill Top Road is like another Micheal to me (oh god…the table…and the fractals with Ivo’s dad OH NO) with how it just feels like it connects to EVERYTHING. The history of this house, Raymond, Agnes and just…everything that surrounds it is so mystifying to me. I feel as if I’m staring into the face of an endless void as we speak, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Hopefully I will get answers regarding this house soon, but for now…uuuuggghhhh someone save me before I have to give in and become a Jon kinnie. Oh, and speaking of Jon, what about the post-statement and supplemental? Well, we learn that for whatever reason, information regarding Hill Top Road has been largely lost or damaged, which is…concerning. I get the feeling that further information on this house must be…pretty heavy stuff if it’s all been destroyed. Jon also mentions Martin’s fondness for spiders here, which we already knew about but…it’s a bit more strange to me nowadays. I don’t want to be too suspicious of him, especially after he delivered the most legendary plot twist of all time, but I still find it to be an interesting little quirk of his. Lastly, we learn in the supplemental that everyone’s avoiding Jon. And while I do feel bad for him, truly…yeah no shit. I mean I’m sorry sweetheart but you’re not exactly being subtle in your investigations, you shouldn’t be all that surprised by this. …oh dear god. I reach the mid season finale tomorrow…please just be somewhat digestible….
Supplemental: oooooohhhh spooky
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- Episode 60, The Observer Effect🪞
Statement of Rosa Meyer, concerning a persistent feeling of being watched.
Well…here it is. The mid-season finale of Season 2. Now, while this episode isn’t quite as grand and shocking to me as Desecrated Host, it is a very, VERY intriguing one. The statement is one of, if not the shortest one yet, which is fair as it needs to make room for the fairly lengthy supplemental, but it does seemingly help to further verify a few of my theories, brings up some interesting new ideas, has some VERY a interesting implications on a thematic level, and it definitely feels like it’s pushing the story into…I guess, another phase or something like that. While I think that this is a solid way to end off the first half of the season, I might not have as much to say about the plot of the statement as I do for some others, as while it is definitely very intriguing, it doesn’t have nearly as many shocking revelations as an episode like the last one for example, just adds to some things that were already implied or suspected. But that’s absolutely fine! Hell, I think I needed something to take my mind off of piecing together Hill Top Road lore, so this is more than welcome. But enough preamble, let’s get into the episode that was…oddly personal to me, but like…personal in a really weird way…yeah…
So, I kind of just want to start off by answering why this episode was so…personal to me. Because it’s really weird. It’s not personal in the same way episodes like Lost in the Crowd or Personal Space are, as while this episode did scare me quite a bit, it wasn’t on a deep, psychologically personal level. No, the reason it’s personal is just a lot more simple. It’s personal because not only do I live in Norwich, (which isn’t that big of a deal, I mean it was bound to show up in tma eventually)…but my dad edits for BBC Look East. …The same show Rosa Meyers, the protagonist of this episode, presented for. So like, this episode doesn’t affect me that deeply, but it just felt…WEIRDLY targeted by how well it lined up with a notable part of my family and I’s lives, and that’s already gained this episode a special place in my heart. Ok, that’s enough of revealing personal details that’ll hopefully not bite me in the ass during future job applications. What about the actual plot of the statement? Starting off, can I get a YIPPEE for our FOURTH cold opening in a row?! HOORAY FOR TRAUMA!!! The whole opening segment…is just so incredibly well performed on Jonny’s part. He always does a great job portraying statement givers in distress, but honestly, this single scene might just be the second best example of this after, like, all of Hive. He REALLY sold how distressed Rosa was when giving this statement, and I fully believed that she was spiraling and breaking down as she wrote it. I’m also really happy that the episode allows this whole breakdown to take up a decent amount of time, as not only does it hint at Rosa being a…somewhat unusual statement giver, but it also helps to drive home what I believe is the main point of the episode, although I’ll get into that later. Anyways, the opening is great, and honestly managed to tap into my own fears of being watched with how visceral the voice acting was. Going forward, we learn about how Rosa gained this feeling after doing inventory for her deceased brother’s estate. And based on the way she described his stroke, as well as what he was involved with…I mean yeah I doubt he died normally. The man was clearly digging very deep into things he probably shouldn’t have, so I think that “stroke” was actually something much more sinister. Oddly enough, his death reminds me of that of Ivo’s father in Episode 8, and Paul McKenzie in Episode 27, both of whom died in seemingly normal ways that had much more sinister undertones. I was also a little bit unnerved by her sibling-rivalry comments on Christopher, which I’m 99% sure doesn’t mean anything, but…Lost Johns’ Cave did things to me so….yeah. Anyways, we also learn here that Christopher Meyers was doing research into ancient religious artifacts, which is obviously…a very interesting thing to mention given the presence of cults and artifacts throughout the podcast. He even wrote about vampires at one point too… This weirdness is backed up later when we learn that he was doing research into “outer cults” and their practices, which I can only assume refers to things like The Divine Host, The Cult of Asag, The Other Circus and more. All of it seems to further suggest that the driving force behind this plot is a war between ✨the horrors✨. It’s all very peculiar, and given his mysterious death…as well as the fact we learn he was consulting with The Magnus Institute for unknown reasons, I definitely think that Christopher Meyer will hold some significance later. This statement was given in 1972, meaning that not even James Wright, Elias’ predecessor, would’ve been in charge at this point, and it’s very possible that Gertrude wasn’t either. So I assume it’ll be fairly hard to dig up information on Christopher…but it’s interesting nonetheless.
Anyways, going back to Rosa, it’s here that she opens one of Christopher’s boxes, and finds the note and mirror that lead to her being watched and gaining extreme paranoia. (By the way, I learned after listening that the title of the episode refers to a phenomenon where you alter the behavior/state of whatever you see, simply by just observing it. Just thought that was pretty cool.) Admittedly, I’m not all that concerned about the note and the mirror in terms of what they could do. The mirror’s shattered now, and either the note can’t act without the mirror or is just kind of creepy, so I’m more concerned about where exactly Christopher even got it…and what it might’ve done to him. Breekon, Hope and Mikaele Salesa obviously have a reputation of handing out creepy artifacts…but I’m more concerned by the possibility he got it from The Magnus Institute itself. And unfortunately…I think that might be the case. You see, this mirror and Rosa’s following experiences have to be tied to the eye horror, because what else it going to be? This horror has always stuck out to me because of how little it seems to show up compared to other ones…but maybe that’s by design. This thing is an observer, a spectator by nature, so it naturally doesn’t get involved all that much, unless someone directly triggers it to, or it’s being…carried around by someone like Gerard. And I think that nature is why it connects to The Magnus Institute, why it likely makes its home there, because the institute is the means through which we are told these stories. Most of the people who are working there don’t directly connect back to the statements themselves (at least as far as we know and with the exception of Not!Sasha), so they are therefore also just outsiders who observe the story, collecting knowledge but not really trying to get too involved. So if we have this spectator being that usually doesn’t get involved unless someone walks directly into its domain…well, where else would Christopher have gotten that mirror? It lines up pretty nicely with Crusader as well, since Walter Heller was haunted by what was seemingly the same being after stumbling into an older archive. So yeah…while the mirror itself doesn’t scare me much, the circumstances behind it definitely do. Following Rosa’s encounter with the mirror, she ends up dealing with extreme paranoia and loses her job, eventually bringing her to giving her statement, in hopes of learning more about what’s happening to her, and her brother’s involvement, ending the story. Now while this episode definitely provides some intrigue here and there, especially regarding the eye horror…it is still pretty short and simple. Not a bad thing at all, I still thought it was very solid and chilling, but outside of connections to the eyes, which are clearly VERY important…it doesn’t seem as grandiose as the halfway point of Season 1. However, I still think it works for one reason, that being how Rosa parallels, and potentially foreshadows Jon.
Throughout this episode, there was just…a lot of really weird similarities between Jon and Rosa that really scared me, maybe even more than anything confirmed in the statement itself. The most obvious similarity between them is their sheer amounts of paranoia, which is at the very least partially stemmed from the fact that they are both being watched, likely by the exact same thing. …This unknown observer genuinely terrifies me with how mysterious they are. They both have gotten increasingly paranoid, doing whatever they can to get answers on the things that haunt them, start mistrusting people or things in their job that were once familiar to them (which makes Elias stating they don’t want to fire him VERY upsetting), and it’s gotten to the point where both of them have caused some level of harm to others. These parallels might not mean much, outside of the obvious connections it provides between Jon and the thing that watched Rosa 24/7, but I think it’s what makes this ultimately work really well as a mid-season finale. We’ve witnessed Jon get progressively more and more unhinged as the season goes on, going as far as to stalk his coworkers, suspect them of murder, and break into Gertrude’s flat, and these parallels, combined with the supplemental which I’ll get to later, really do drive home how far the listener has come, and it feels like a nice way to end the first half. But…there is one thing about these parallels that worries me more than anything else. You see, Rosa apparently murdered a delivery van driver named Danilo Costich, who was seemingly delivering stationary to the institute, threw out the stationary, and replaced it with petrol before stealing the truck. Not only is this very reminiscent of Gertrude’s actions in Crusader (which kind of creates a parallel triangle between Rosa, her and Jon)but it’s clearly meant to tell us that Rosa had plans of blowing up The Magnus Institute, likely due to the fact she felt more watched in the institute than anywhere else, and figured her observer was in there. This is already worrying enough on its own…but when you consider how her story seems to parallel Jon….it makes me really worried that he’ll end up doing something very very stupid sooner rather than later, something that may hurt his colleagues. And there’s one last thing that bothered me. Despite how similar Rosa’s situation was to his…Jon didn’t bother to even draw any attention to that, even though his voice was a little bit shakier than usual. This has been a weird pattern of his recently, one very evident in cases like him neglecting to mention the table in Hill Top Road. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel like it’s unintentional, I think it’s a case where Jon, while not exactly in denial like he was in Season 1, is just trying not to draw attention to the things that affect him directly, in order to keep what little sanity he has left. …All in all I’m very scared for him. So…yeah. That’s The Observer Effect. This is a very intriguing episode, it’s short and sweet, but it’s brought me back to some ideas I’ve neglected in the past, and is absolutely one of the most thematically rich episodes for me so far. It’s really making me think about this anonymous watcher…how it feels like everyone in the institute is its puppet. Well, hopefully the second half of the season will give some big answers, but I’ll just have to wait and see in the meantime.
Look…I know it’s a unfortunate situation. I know it’s a result of Jon falling so deep into paranoia and insanity that he’s hurting both himself and the people around him. I know that it really hurts to see that he’s fallen this far, and that his relationships with people who may have once been his friends have fallen apart this much, to the point where he can’t trust them and they can’t trust him. I understand it’s a terrible result of trauma and that we hate to see everyone write off his paranoia as folly when there is at least one eldritch monster among them. But…if I’m being honest…thank GOD they finally gave him an intervention. Like HOLY SHIT this was long overdue. So yeah, as much as this supplemental did kind of hurt to listen to…it’s probably for the best that it happened in the first place. But on top of that, it comes with some pretty interesting revelations that’ll likely change the course of the season from here on out. Starting off, I’m absolutely insane about how Jon recorded the intervention that was regarding him recording things. That is…so uniquely him. I’m also insane about how despite everything that’s happened…Martin was still decently nice to him. Just…can someone please give him all of the riches in the world? Admittedly, this intervention does really show how damaged Jon’s relationships with everyone else have become, but Martin’s behavior here at least gives me hope that they’ll be able to get on amicable terms in the future. (maybe even…kiss…) I also really enjoyed the part where Jon mentioned monsters being out there, and cuts himself off before suggesting any of them might be one…oh god that hurts considering Not!Sasha but it’s so good. Oh yeah, and Not!Sasha continues to be a dirty little liar in the worst ways possible. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s kind of a vibe, but…”we care about you Jon” and “let’s have no more of this paranoia” made me want to punch her so badly you have no idea. …I kind of hate the fact that I’m getting used to her being around. All in all it’s just a really unfortunate but extremely well written scene. Even though we don’t get to see much of the archival assistants and Elias in Season 1 overall, you can really tell how much things have worsened after Jane showed up, and…it hurts. I hope that Jon will be able to repair his relationships with everyone, but logically speaking I really don’t know if that’s going to happen anytime soon. …There is one last thing, however, that I find very intriguing. That is obviously how Elias gave Jon the CCTV footage of the week Gertrude died. This…seemingly proves that Gertrude was not murdered by anyone in the archives, and Jon starts suspecting that she was murdered by whatever is in the tunnels. Now, I could honestly see this as a red herring. After all, I’ve suspected Elias ever since the cause of death was revealed, and he was the guy who gave Jon the footage, so for all we know he could be obscuring things…but I’m honestly not all that sure. The being in the tunnels is a…complete mystery as of now, like I genuinely have no idea who or what it might be, nor do I know who’s apparently sneaking in when Jon isn’t looking. (My best guess is Not!Sasha but part of me thinks it could be Tim since he was the first person to find them.) In all honesty, I’m now open to multiple interpretations. I don’t feel like I can be fully on board with this theory of Jon’s until we learn more about the tunnels, but I am definitely a lot more open to the idea of the killer being someone outside the institute now. I also found it interesting how Gertrude was described as constantly going in and out, looking frantic. After he broke into her flat, I’ve come to the conclusion that Jon and Gertrude were more similar than he would like to admit, so I definitely think she was dealing with her own paranoia sometime before death, and this nearly confirms it for me. It’s also interesting how there aren’t any cameras in the archives…despite that being the room where all of Gertrude’s blood was found…hm…also when is Jon going to find her laptop?
Overall…this feels like a pretty substantial change. It doesn’t reveal much new information…but it feels like it’s sort of changed the direction of the story. I suspect that in the second half of the season, we’ll get more information on the tunnels, Jon will turn away from suspecting his employees…a bit, (which is concerning given the existence of Not!Sasha but…I digress…) and he’ll probably start digging in other directions to find Gertrude’s killer. I think we’ll get more insight into the members of the archival team going forward, and hopefully, there’ll be some big answers around the time of the finale. But, only time will tell. In conclusion, I thought this was a very satisfying mid-season finale. It’s different from what I was expecting, but I think it serves as a nice way to segue from one half to another, and it definitely pushes the story in new directions. But…I’m more concerned for Jon than ever holy shit…
Supplemental: I just recently had a thought regarding Not!Sasha and the table. For a long time, I’ve assumed that the table, and by extension the spiders, are like her captor, and while I do still think that makes the most sense…I did think of a potential alternative. You see, I’ve compared her to the anatomy students quite a bit, and the anatomy students have a lot of apple symbolism…which might be relevant given the presence of the apple in Hill Top Road. I still think she has more connections to The Anglerfish than anything else, and that the table is her enemy…but it’s interesting food for thought regardless.
OH MY GOD I’M FINALLY FINISHED. Wow…that was…excruciatingly long. Like, it was fun, I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in but LORD ALMIGHTY. So yeah…I’ve somehow reached the halfway point of The Magnus Archives Season 2! It’s…genuinely kind of insane to me that not only have I made it this far…but that I’m in the mental state I am because of it. Like, I knew this was going to be my new big thing as soon as I listened to Do Not Open, but…WOW. This has absolutely taken over my life and brain, and…it’s just…HOW DID I GET FROM A CREEPY GUY ASKING FOR A CIGARETTE TO…ALL OF THIS?! AND WHY AM I TALKING THIS MUCH ABOUT IT?! Overall…I am simultaneously anticipating and dreading what comes next. This season has already been significantly more packed with insane shit than all of Season 1, so I am NOT PREPARED for whatever comes out of it in this next half. Anyways, thank you so much for making it to the end, you have no idea how much it means to me, and I hope you’ll be around for the next post, where I’ll be covering episodes 61-70! Bye! :)
Supplemental Supplemental: Ok there is actually one last thing that popped into my head just now. I’ve taken some time to dwell on it since Still Life, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if The Anglerfish isn’t directly worshipped by The Other Circus, then it’s probably just a smaller branch of whatever it does worship. I think I just needed to stop being set on the idea of The Anglerfish being one of the big bads, because as mysterious and inscrutable as it is, it is entirely possible that it’s a lesser monster more on the level of…vampires or something. So, here is my current list of ✨the horrors✨, updated for Season 2B, now with some potential servants listed as well!
- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 39, 40, 45, 55)
Servants Include: Jane Prentiss, John Amherst
- The Vast (4, 21, 46, 51, 57?)
Servants Include: Mike Crew, The Fairchilds
- The Piper (7, 42?)
Servants Include: Maybe Alfred Grifter?
- Asag (8, 12, 19, 20, 37, 43, 59)
Servants Include: Diego Molina, Arthur Nolan, Agnes
- The Spiders (8, 16, 19, 20, 38, 59)
Servants Include: Raymond Fielding
- The Darkness (9, 25, 52, 57?)
Servants Include: The Divine Host…In General…
- The Observer (12, 20, 23, 53, 60)
Servants Include: Gerard Keay, Potentially all of The Keays, The Alexandrian Archivist, Potentially the entire Archival Team?
- Isolation Thing (13, 33, 57)
Servants Include: The Lukas Family…In General…
- Meat and Bones (14, 17, 18, 30, 49, 58)
Servants Include: Angela, Jared Hopworth, Tom Haan, Eustace Wick
- Compression (15, 41, 50)
Servants Include: George Gilbert Scott, The Governor, Maybe Laura Popham, Maybe whatever is in the tunnels
- The Anglerfish (or something close to it) (1, 24, 28, 44, 54)
Servants Include: The Other Circus, Breekon & Hope, Sarah Baldwin, Daniel Rawlings
- Micheal (8, 26, 47)
Servants Include: …Himself? idk (:/)
- The Master of The Reapers (29)
Servants Include: The Reapers…duh…
And then there’s probably something else I’m missing. Or maybe not idk. Ok, goodbye for real now! :)
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miss0atae · 2 months
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4Minutes a science-fiction story with near death experience and time travel (Ep 1):
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I recently watched the first episode of 4Minutes. I finally found how to do it. I was really anticipating this series. I thought I knew what the story would be. I read the synopsis, I read other posts about it, I saw the pictures and the gifs and I made my own story in my mind. I don't know for you, but I can never stop myself from imagining what the story can be. As long as I have few information about a story, my mind is already working and trying to convince me about how the story will be told. After watching the episode there is one thing that it's true: I knew nothing. Let me explain, what I imagine it would be, wasn't what I watched. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate what BOC is trying to do with its BL stories. Kinnporsche was this revisited mafia story, Dead Friend Forever played with the tropes of teen horror movies and now 4Minutes is showing us a mix of noir fiction and science-fiction. I wasn't expecting it and I find it truly interesting to see what they can do. I appreciate how they never use the same formula story for their projects and how they try to give us something different. So I'm not going to review the episode because so many people did it better than me. I just want to talk about why I consider 4Minutes to be a noir science-fiction story at its core and how the link between near death experience and time travel make sense together .
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Let's start with saying what is a noir fiction and what is science-fiction and then we'll see why I think it works for 4Minutes. A noir fiction is a genre that really changed a lot. However there are some recurring characteristics: a corrupt system, corrosive effect of money, absurdity of the existence and psychological instability. I would also say that you can also find a mix of violence and sex too as it's often links to the Human condition. In 4Minutes, Great our main protagonist comes from a family who runs a company that serves as a cover for their illegal business. In this first episode, the patriarch of the family is entrusting his first son, Great's older brother Korn, into the “investment department” where most of their illegal business is occurring. We learn that the family has made their fortune through this means. Korn doesn't reject the idea. He is only fearing the difficulties to manager this new job. Is he accepting it because he believes it's right or because he doesn't have another choice… it remains to be seen. Korn and Great's family environment isn't really good. The two brothers, despite being half-brothers are close, but Great is avoiding his parents. As for Korn, he seems to hide them a part of his life such as his relationship with Tonkla (is it because it's a man or because they have this vibe of sugar baby/sugar daddy, we don't know yet). About Great, we know he is drinking and smoking, so mostly he doesn't have a healthy lifestyle and his parents usually have to save him when he mess up. At the beginning of the story, Great is experiencing his first 4minutes time travel that will remain the central plot of the story. This experience puts him in a psychological distress as he can't find a rational explanation to it.
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Which leads me to why I believe the story is also from the science-fiction genre. Great is experiencing precognition and time travel and those are topic of undiscovered scientific possibilities you can usually find in science-fiction. It allows the characters and the viewers to experience speculative events. The premise of time often involves changing history or the future. As for now, Great can go back in the past 4 minutes. He only experienced it few times in the episode so he and us, don't know yet how everything is working or why is he experiencing it. Usually, time travel is about altering the past and see how it changes the future to create an altered present or future. The first time, it happened to Great he didn't avoid the woman, but she wasn't as hurt as she was supposed to be. The second time, it changed his first meeting with Tyme. Will Great do more change when he'll accept his new power or will he tries to avoid it? How is it really working? We'll have more answers in the next episodes. I wonder if the story will focus on the paradoxes and alternate timelines or if it's going to be more about contemporary and social issues. The latter works well with the noir fiction, but it's still too early to draw any conclusion. The first episode just set the plot, but also showing us some characters and their links together. I feel we still haven't seen everything.
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Then we have another part that was developed in the story and it's near death experience (NDE). I believe it links together the number 4 (Great goes back 4 minutes in the past with his time travel power) and the idea of a time warp as an imaginary spatial distortion. Through this spatial distortion the character could possibly change the past and therefore change the present and the future. I will try to make it simple because it seems easy in my head, but I'm not sure I'll be able to write it properly. So firstly, the number four is considered unlucky in Thai culture, as it is in other cultures too. It is associated with death and bad luck. The Thai word for four, “si,” is also a homophone for the word “death.” Then, we have Dr. Den (a co-worker of Tyme) who is working on NDE by interviewing people who faced it. Their comments are common traits reported by NDErs: a bright light above, a sense of awareness, an out-of-body experience, being(s) dressed in white, receiving a life review… Most NDErs when “coming back” feel a change of attitudes and behaviors. It doesn't mean all of them are positive (I feel like it could be associated with Great's psychological answer after discovering his power). It's also important to notice that Great started to get his power of going back to the past 4 minutes ago, after he hit a woman who wanted to die. So his power of “time travel” is linked to death. I wonder if the series is questioning the paradox of Time: is death the end of time and does time has any end? If we can manipulate the time, can we manipulate death and consequently life too? Maybe I'm trying to find something too complicated in here, but I like that it made me do all these researches. I'm sure it's not a coincidence between all these plot sets, but we'll probably get more answers in the next episodes.
I think BOC is really putting a challenging story and I can’t wait to see how they will do it.
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maliciousblog · 5 months
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Treasure Hyung line reaction: To you rejecting them
Hyunsuk 🎀
Both of you were snuggled up under the blanket watch a movie as the rain gently poured down in the background.
It was getting colder as the sun began to set so you rested your head on your boyfriends shoulder and snuggled up to him to get a little extra warmth.
Taking advantage of the opportunity he wrapped an arm around you and brought you closer to rest on his chest.
As the movie went on he noticed that you were fully invested in the story which he found cute.
You looked so focused. It made him smile seeing you like this.
He leaned down gently placing a finger under your chin to lift up your face as he started to lean in waiting to feel the softness of your lips but instead he felt your hand on his mouth pushing him away.
He swiftly moved his face away feeling embarrassed.
He brushed it off and acted normal.
As he didn't want to ruin the mood and asked you to continue watching the movie.
Inside he felt hurt it was like you took a shot at his ego.
Wasn't he good enough for you.
You would eventually learn to love him as much as he loved you or atleast you would learn to you had if you wanted to keep breathing so he let this one go and stared at the screen blankly.
Jihoon 💝
You were standing in front of a simmering pot as you were adding a bunch of spices to atler the taste of the stew to match the liking of your boyfriend.
You wiped of beads of sweat off your forehead with the sleeve of your dress feeling the fatigue slip in as you had been working since morning around the house.
Turning your attention to the task in front of you deciding to chop up some fresh herbs to add in.
You didn't notice the door click open over the sound of music blasting from a speaker near by as it was the only thing that kept you company in the empty house when he was away.
You don't even remember how you got here one minute you were surrounded by people laughter and conversation filled the air.
That was until you met him.
Now you were alone in the walls of your apartment as he successfully managed to manipulate you into doing whatever he wanted you to do all while acting innocent making you feel like the bad guy.
As you were chopping up the herbs you felt a pair of arm sneak around your waist bringing you closer to his body.
As he leaned in closer to your face you shoved him off except for the fact that you used a little more force than you intended to and he stumbled back hitting the counter.
Before you could react you saw his face drop.
"I work so hard all day long, just so I can provided for you and this is the welcome I get".
He looked at you with glossy eyes
You felt guilt wash over you.
He started to walk away
Only to be followed by you muttering incoherent apologies as he tried his best to hide the stupid little grin of his face.
He had you wrapped around his little finger.
Yoshi 💖
You winced as the door opened letting in a blinding light into an almost pitch black basement that you were in.
You hands and legs were bound with metal chains that rattled as you attempted to shield your eyes from the light.
Which was now blocked by the figure of your lovesick captor.
He walked down the stairs carrying a plate of food which you eagerly eyed.
Its  been long since you had a proper meal.
He crouched down to your eye level
Placing the plate of food infront of you as he studied your face. Leaning in a little. Bringing his face close to yours.
He watched as you recoiled in disgust feeling a little hurt.
But it didn't matter.
"You should be a little more grateful to me you know,  I could always let you starve to death"
With that he left you in the dark once again knowing that the isolation would eventually drive you mad.
Mad enough to actually love him back.
Junkyu 💓
He held your hand dragging you along with him across the amusement park.
Both of had stopped in front of a shooting game where you had shoot off 3 targets to get a prize which was fluffy teddy bear that you had been eyeing throughout your whole trip.
He was determined to get it for you but he kept missing the shot.
He was dead set on getting it for you no matter how long it took but the line behind you was getting longer and he was forced to give up.
You tried to tell him that it was fine but he kept sulking so you decided to get some ice cream to cheer him up as you were waiting in line you felt a tap on your shoulder and saw a tall boy holding up the teddy bear you wanted.
He gave it to you and told you that he saw you looking at it and gave it to you while slipping a note in your other hand containing his number.
He felt jealousy take over him as he watched the scene unfold.
Before you could react he grabbed the paper and crumpled it throwing it into the garbage can followed by the teddy bear.
"She has a boyfriend, you can leave now".
He said as he dragged you along with him.
You shoved him off you.
"Who gave you the right to act like a jealous little kid you aren't even my boyfriend"
With that you left him there all alone in his misery watching you as you stormed out.
He felt an intense pain in his chest watching your figure dissapear.
Why couldn't you love him.
His vision was clouded with tears as he chased after you.
He couldn't let you leave he couldn't live without you.
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