#Irvane rants | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

larilarikecil · 5 years

Text

D-7; Surabaya, 23 September 2019

Sebetulnya sekarang sudah tanggal 24 September, harap maklum orang sakit niatnya tidur sore eh bablas sampai pukul 2 pagi. Iya, gue sakit di minggu terakhir sebelum for good, sucks, but I really don’t want to rant about it for now.

I actually had wanted to write since a month ago, but I didn’t do it because I know how hurt it’d be. Baru ngetik gini doang sudah autonetes:))) well, gue tetap harus nulis, the future me should be able to recall memories through my writings. Nulis minyi-minyi nya terselip dulu aja ya, yang beneran minyi nanti aja pas beneran pulang, tidak mau sedih-sedih setiap hari hehe.

Hari ini, gue memulai dengan anter Ferrel ke Tekkim pukul 7 pagi karena gue mau pinjam mobilnya. Dari pagi, radang, flu, dan demam sudah mulai menggerayangi badan. Kemudian gue pulang dan mandi, lalu balik lagi ke ITS untuk ambil legalisasi ijazah. Tujuan gue berikutnya yaitu Dinas Kesehatan Kota Surabaya. Sedikit background story, jadi tim gue di XLFL mau bikin smart-band (kayak mi band) yang bisa ngukur suhu tubuh dan tekanan darah ibu-ibu hamil 24/7 dengan continuous data yang masuk ke puskesmas dalam rangka mendukung program P3K pemerintah, tujuannya yaitu untuk menurunkan angka keguguran dengan mendeteksi pre-eklampsia. My group needed to collect data from puskesmas, I went to Puskesmas Keputih last month but they rejected my proposal because it needed to be processed in Dinkes first. Ok lanjut, gue mampir ke Blok J sebentar untuk print surat pengantar yang baru dan Ecuadorian visaform. All went well, gue tidak melakukan hal bodoh di jalan meskipun nyetir rasa nano-nano, sampai gue tiba di Dinkes dan...........gue disuruh ke Bakesbang dulu karena semua surat pengantar harus diproses disana. Jam menunjukkan pukul 10.30, daripada gue sampai di Bakesbang kena jam istirahat mending gue ke Klinik Pusura rumah ketigaku dulu (rumah kedua nya kampus). Di Pusura pas ketemu dokter, gue langsung request “Dok minta obat flu sama radang”, tapi si dokter ini meragukan permintaan gue karena ternyata tensi gue 100/64 jadi dia nyuruh gue tes darah. Sebetulnya tensi gue memang jarang normal sih jadi menurut gue 100 itu sudah baik, paling parah pernah 90/50 huehe. Hasil tes darah ternyata gue tifus, tidak kaget sih. Mau ranting tentang hal ini tapi rasanya nggak penting, tapi jujur sedih banget, gue pengen banget jadi orang sehat yang nggak sakit-sakitan:(((( sedikit cuplikan percakapan gue dengan Pak Dokter :

PD : loh ini hasil widal test kamu tinggi loh, kamu yakin ga mual?

J : nggak dok, saya pusing aja.

PD : biasanya orang dengan hasil gini sudah nggak karuan, mual, lemes, ngilu, blablabla..

J : iya dok, saya sudah terbiasa sepertinya, masih bisa nyetir kesini he he.

Saya mah bukan mual karena sakit dok, saya eneggggg karena sakit melulu hhhh. Apakah ada dukun hutan Amazon yang punya ramuan anti tifus???

Dari Pusura, sudah pukul 12.00, dengan perut keroncongan dan kepala yang semakin ambyar, gue pun nyetir balik ke ITS berharap tidak melakukan kebodohan. And God is good, pukul 12.15 gue sampai di Warkam untuk makan. Then I went to Tekkim because Ferrel had to take his lab’s equipments. Setelah itu gue dilema, apakah gue pulang dan tidur atau gue tetap usaha ke Bakesbang? Karena terjepit waktu dan dikejar tanggungjawab, gue pun memutuskan untuk ke Bakesbang tapi mau cari teman karena tidak kuat (dependent me, hadeh). Setelah mencari-cari, gue pun ditemani oleh Irvan dan Orlando, asik juga nyari nya 1 orang tapi dapatnya 2 ehe. Sampai di Bakesbang, rasanya kayak ketiban genteng. Intinya, surat pengantar gue itu bukan dari kampus jadi requirement nya lebih banyak.

Masalah : surat pengantar gue itu punya perusahaan swasta yang berada di Jakarta

Solusi : selain surat pengantar, harus bawa proposal kegiatan yang di ttd perusahan, akte pendirian perusahaan, KTP perwakilan perusahaan dan ketua tim. Semua dokumen itu dibikin rangkap dua dan harus dibawa ke Bakesbang Jakarta, dari Bakesbang Jakarta bakal diproses dan dikasih surat untuk dibawa ke Bakesbang Provinsi Jatim, dari Bakesbang Provinsi Jatim bakal diproses dan dikasih surat untuk dibawa ke Bakesbang Kota Surabaya, dari Bakesbang Kota Surabaya bakal diproses dan dikasih surat untuk dibawa ke Dinas Kesehatan Surabaya, dari Dinas Kesehatan Surabaya bakal dikasih surat untuk dibawa ke Puskesmas.

Cuman mau wawancara 6 orang tapi birokrasi nya kayak mau bikin pentas di Puskesmas hihu. Ya, semoga yang baca ini bisa teredukasi kalau mau melakukan kegiatan yang serupa.

Anyway, gue pulang dengan harapan 0 besar karena deadline tugas nya sudah dekat banget dan gue harus menyajikan data yang bahkan untuk memulainya butuh waktu sekitar sebulan (di setiap bakesbang prosesnya bisa 5 hari kerja). Untung ada Irvan dan Orlando, kayaknya kalau sendirian itu gue bisa nangis di mobil ala-ala sinetron yang nangis di kursi pengemudi sambil nyetir. Kemudian gue balik ke ITS untuk jemput Ferrel, disitu gue sudah ngantuk banget akibat obat-obatan yang diminum setelah makan siang. Ferrel yang kelaparan habis ngelab namun baik hati, memilih untuk langsung balik ke Puker karena gue sudah absurd, dia akhirnya makan di kantin Puker. Ada satu “warteg” yang menurut gue cukup oke, waktu itu gue pernah beli lauk ikan sama sayur, masing-masing dikasih satu kantong plastik isinya banyak, totalnya Rp 10.000,00. Ferrel makan disitu juga, nasi, cumi hitam, tahu, dan sayur labu totanya Rp 16.000,00.

Jadi masih mau nulis tapi ngantuk banget karena habis minum obat lagi dan sekarang pukul 04.30. Intinya gue pun tidur pukul 17.00 dan bangun pukul 02.00 di kemudian hari. Padahal dokter bilang kalau tifus makannya harus banyak biar sembuh (((tapi banyak juga pantangannya jadi kalau dipikir-pikir susah juga makan banyak))), sementara gue baru makan sekali di Warkam he he dan tau lah ya jam 2 pagi yang buka apaan. Em ci di to the rescue (or not because it’s fast food so yea), I know harusnya nggak makan McD tapi ya mau gimana lagi kan harus minum obat, dari pada makan popmie/indomie, atau minum obat tapi nggak makan, ya kan???

1 note · View note

ikaconggalesuik · 7 years

Text

Conok-conok Kala Itu

(Oleh Rika Ilma Putri) Panasnya terik mentari yang menyengat kulit coklatku, aku hiraukan saja. Buih gelembung dari celupan daun menyelam ke dalam lilin panas cair melayangkan aroma menusuk hidungku. Api lilin dijaga dengan bentengan tiga batu bata yang sekaligus menopang kulit kerang lokan yang berdiameter 10 cm sebagai kuali conok-conok. Conok-conok dalam permainan anak-anak Suku Minang berarti pura-pura. Potongan ranting sepanjang telunjuk kugenggam dengan tangan mungilku untuk membolak-balikkan daun yang diharap menjadi kerupuk. Setiap hari kami main di halaman rimba belakang rumahku. Banyak semak-semak di sana yang terdiri dari tumbuhan yang entah apa namanya. Tapi hal itu membuat kami merasakan mempunyai kebun sendiri. Kami dapat memetik daun, buah, maupun ranting yang kami anggap perlu sebagai bahan dalam permainan conok-conok. Selain itu suasana di sini dihiasi dengan kolam yang berair hijau. Dahulu kolam itu berisikan ikan. Namun kini telah berganti menjadi sarang biawak. “Ibu, saya ingin membeli nasi pakai telur, sayur, dan kerupuk,” ujar temanku Ani sambil membawa Ranti yang conok-conoknya sebagai anaknya Ani. “Pakai sambel juga ya, bu!” pintanya kembali padaku. Aku mengambil kulit kerang lokan, memasukkan pasir sabagai nasi, batu sebagai telur, daun sebagai sayur, dan daun yang kugoreng tadi sebagai kerupuk. Tak lupa pula kutaburi bubuk batu bata yang telah kugiling halus sebagai sambalnya. “Jamu, jamu, Jamu sehat,” ujar Rahmi berkeliling menawarkan botol-botol yang berisikan berbagai macam warna cairan di dalam ember bekas yang dia bawa. Bukan hanya Rahmi dan aku saja yang berjualan. Tetapi ada juga Ranti yang berjualan sate, Sani berjualan soto, dan Rangga berjualan minuman. Sedangkan yang lainnya sebagai pembeli. Alat tukar yang kami gunakan dalam transaksi jual beli ini adalah daun sirsak. “Eh, tadi aku melihat ada orang baru pindahan,” uangkap Arman yang tiba-tiba datang dari belakangku. “Kita ajak main yuk!” tawarnya membujuk. “Dari mana saja kau?” Tanyaku padanya. “Tadi kami menjemputmu ke rumahmu, tapi kata ibumu kau sudah pergi main.” Aku menatap wajanya. “Aku main kelereng dengan si Irvan, anak tetangga baru itu,” jawabnya tanpa bersalah. Padahal kemarin kita telah berjanji untuk main conok-conok di sini. Aku mengalihkan pandanganku ke daun yang tengah kugoreng. “Nah, kita ajak main saja yuk!” ucap Rangga seperti sepakat, lalu disusul anggukan teman yang lain. Jika semua mengusul begitu tentunya aku tidak bisa menolak. Sebenarnya aku juga penasaran dengan raut rupa wajahnya. Sesampai di rumah yang masih berbau debu, rumput panjang, serta tumpukan kardus yang masih belum dibuka kami masuk ke perkarangan rumahnya sambil mencari-cari sosok Irvan. “Irvan,” sorak kami beramai-ramai di depan pintu rumahnya. “Irvan, main yuk!” Kalimat seperti ini memang sering kami lontarkan untuk mengajak siapa pun bermain. Tak beberapa lama setelah dipanggil, muncul lah seorang anak laki-laki berambut ikal yang gondrong sebahu. Seketika aku iri dengan rambutnya. Lika-liku rambunya seperti per sangat teratur dan kurasa dengan wajahnya yang tampan, ia cocok memiliki rambut itu. “Hai Irvan,” sapa Arman dengan sambil melambaikan tangannya ke arah anak yang berambut ikal itu. Oh, jadi anak berambut ikal yang bernama Irvan. Si ikal itu mendakat mendatangi kami sambil memegang kain lap di tangan kanannya. “Aku tidak bisa main sekarang.” Temanku dan termasuk diriku merasa kecewa atas tolakannya. “Aku diperintahkan oleh ayahku untuk membantunya beres-beres,” sambungnya memberi alasan. “Kalau begitu kita bantu saja biar cepat,” usul Sani sambil menaikan alis dan memamerkan senyum seolah-olah menampakkan jika ia itu jenius. Padahal kebiasaan dalam menolong teman yang tidak bisa main kerena perintah orang tua seperti ini memang sering kami lakukan. Malah bekerja seperti ini sangatlah menyenangkan. Bahkan kurasa orang tua Irvan akan sangat terbantu oleh kami, sama seperti yang dirasakan orangtuaku ketika awal pindah ke daerah ini. Tanpa mengiyakan usulan Sani. Kami langsung bertanya kepada Irvan apa yang harus kami lakulan. Tapi sebelumnya kami meminta izin kepada ayah dan ibunya Irvan. Seperti yang kupastikan tadi bahwa orang tua Irvan merasa senang. Anak laki-laki, Arman, Rangga, dan Irvan tentunya bagian angkat-mengangkat yang dilakukan bersama ayahnya Irvan, sedangkan yang perempuan bagian membersihkan. Aku membersihkan kaca bersama Ani. Sedangkan Ranti dan Rahmi membersihkan pekarangan. Lalu Sani membatu mamanya Irvan menyusun dan merapikan barang-barang. Aku merasa haus. Seketika bola mataku menangkap pemandangan jambu air yang rimbun menggelayut pada ujung-ujung ranting pohonnya dari balik kaca jendela yang kubersihkan ini. Ingin sekali lidahku mencicip kesegaran air yang ada dalam buah jambu air itu. “Silahkan minum,” suara ibunya Irvan terdengar dari belakang. Aku menoleh ke sumber suara itu. Ternyata ibunya Irvan membawakan es sirup. Dari aroma dan warnanya yang kuning dapat kutebak jika sirup itu rasa jeruk. Mamanya Irvan memang pengertian sekali. Semua teman-temanku termasuk ayahnya Irvan mendekat menyerbu es sirup. Jika diperhatikan memang terlihat seperti orang yang kehausan. Tapi hal itu bagiku wajar saja. bekerja pada siang hari yang panas ini tentunya menguras energi. Tak mau kalah aku juga mengambil segelas es sirup. Terasa dingin saat tanganku menyentuh tuguh gelas ini. Tak sabar mulut dan tenggorokan ini agar segera dibasahi oleh kesegaran es sirup. “Slurp. Ah, nikmat sekali,” celutukku tak sadar. “Kalian jika ingin main silahkan sekarang!” izin mamanya Irfan kepada kami. Senang rasanya jika mendapat izin begini. “Yeee…” kita semua serempak berterian kegirangan bersama. “Tante, kita boleh minta jambu air itu kah?” Tanya Ranti sambil menunjuk pohon jambu air tersebut. “Sejak dari membersihkan halaman, jambu air itu terlihat mengiurkan,” sambungnya dengan wajah rayuan. Mamanya Irvan mengangguk terseyum dan langsung mengambil kantong asoi. Tanpa diperintahkan Arman dan Rangga langsung memangjat batang pohon jambu air nan lebat itu. Kemudian kami menangkap jambu yang dijatuhkan Arman ke bawah. Kantong asoi telah penuh diisi oleh jambu air. Kami berpamitan untuk pergi main sambil membawa Irvan. Sesampai di markas conok-conok, Irvan menampakkan wajah kagetnya. “Ini kan permainan perempuan?” tanyanya heran. “Seharusnya kalian mengajakku bermain tarok mandok, tapak lele, tengkak, atau tagak duduak,” ujarnya menyebut nama permainan lainnya. “Ayolah, permainan perempuan seperti ini juga akan membuat mu ketagihan,” ucap Arman sambil menarik tangan Irvan. Arman menyalakan lilin. “Goreng-menggoreng seperti ini hanya bisa kau rasakan pada permainan comok-conok ini,” sambung Arman sambil memasukkan helaian daun pada lilin panas yang telah mencair. Arman memberikan ranting kepada Irvan untuk mengangkat daun yang telah menjadi kerupuk. Aku melihat Irvan takjub dengan daun yang digoreng menggunakan lilin panas yang cair ini. Tangannya mulai lihai memasukkan beberapa helaian daun. Kali ini aku biarkan saja ia memakai tempat dan peralatanku. Hingga profesiku beralih dari conok-conok penjual nasi menjadi pembeli biasa. “RISKA!” suara teriakan ibuku terdengar keras dari jauh. Kemudian disusul pangilan untuk Ani, Ranti, Rahmi, Sani, Arman, serta Rangga oleh masing-masing orang tua mereka. Kami bergegas untuk pulang. Semua alat-alat cono-conok kami masukkan ke dalam karung goni lalu disimpan di samping kandang ayam. Jadwal mengaji sore memang waktunya untuk bubar. Jika tidak, maka salah seorang dari orang tua kami akan datang dengan membawa tangkai kayu. Entah itu tangkai sapu, sendok, atau kayu apa saja untuk membubarkan kami. Seketika teman-temanku hilang dan lenyap ke rumah masing-masing yang berjarak sangat dekat dari rumahku kecuali Irvan. Ia masih asyik dengan gorengannya karena hanya dia yang tidak dipanggil oleh orang tuanya. “Ikal, kau harus pulang,” aku meniup api lilin. Saat itu aku salah memanggil nama Irvan, aku malah memanggilnya ikal karena rambut keritingnya. Namun nama itu terdengar keren bagiku. “Di kolam yang berwana hijau itu merupakan tempat bersarangnya biawak. Jika kau di sini sendirian, maka biawak akan mengejarmu,” tuturku menakut-nakutinya agar dia mau pulang. Padahal setahuku biawak itu lari jika melihat manusia. Irvan tampak takut dan cemas. Ia beranjak dari tempat duduknya kemudian langsung bergegas pulang tampa mengucapkan sampai jumpa kepadaku. *** Sepuluh tahun kemudian, aku tak sengaja berjumpa dengan Irvan di ruang tunggu bandara Internasional Minang Kabau (BIM). Saat itu aku merasa ada seorang pemuda yang memerhatikanku dengan tatapan seperti ingin menyapa. Aku pun memerhatikannya, langsung saja aku merasa akrab dengan tampangnya. Tapi rada samar-samar dalam memoriku. Lambaian tangannya mengarah padaku. Aku merasa tak yakin dengan lelaki yang berambut ikal gondrong itu menyapaku. Aku melihat arah kebelakang, rasanya tak ada orang di belakangku. Kemudian aku menunjuk-nunjuk dada ke arahnya bak memberi isyarat apakah lambaian tanganmu itu untuk ku. Dan dia menganggukan kepalanya sambil tersenyum semeringah. Lelaki itu berdiri dari tempat duduknya dan mendekatiku. Saat dia berdiri terlihat tinggi sekali badannya. “Riska ya?” tanyanya kepada “Sudah lama sekali kita tak bertemu.” Belum sempat aku membenarkan tebakannya dia sudah melanjutkan kalimat berikutnya. Aku memasang muka bingung. “Aku teman kecilmu yang sering kau panggil Ikal yang suka menggoreng daun, dan kamu sering meminta jambu air yang tumbuh di pekarangan rumahku,” ia menjawab kebingungan yang ada pada raut wajahku sambil disusul tawa. Entah ia sedang menertawakan dirinya atau menertawakan memoriku yang lemah ini. “Oh, ternyata kau Irvan?” ingatanku terpanggil kembali saat ia mengatakan menggoreng daun dan jambu air di pekarangan rumahnya. Aku tertawa sambil mengingat masa kanak-kanak bersamanya dulu. Kita bercerita panjanga lebar sambil bernostalgia. Ternyata Irvan ini ke Jakarta juga, dan satu pesawat denganku. Tatkala ini Irvan tengah kuliah di jurusan Tata Boga. Ia mengatakan bahwa alasannya mengambil jurusan Tata Boga tak lain kerena permainan conok-conok di waktu tahun sembilan puluhan dulu, di saat bermain bersama ku dan teman-teman yang lain.

1 note · View note

mstrangebird · 7 years

Text

2017 wrapped up (a compilation of very long messed up stories)

2017 was a thing.

The truth is... I felt like doing shit the whole year. I’m sorry to myself. I was like floating and doing nothing and having no goals and super confused.

But, I learned something too.

And I experienced something new.

CHOIR LIFE// 2017 was kinda huge to my choir life. Since the first time that I did this wrapped up in 2015 to 2016, I always talked about choir bcs y’know, this surely was a part of me. I was always there since the first time I entered college life back in 2014. But in this year, it was different; a whole new different level. I was a coordinator or simply call it “leader” of a group (a division) and of course, the responsibility was higher and bigger than before. I might be also a coordinator last year but it was just for an event not a whole organization. So, yeah, it was new for me. I got this work plan and also needed to lead my staff so they would land safely at the end of year –Musang, which is Musyawarah Anggota, it is like a meeting in the end of term and an annual report should be made in order to be presented in front of the audiences. The thing is... I think I DID GOOD. Man, I’m serious by the term good. But yeah, dunno, but serious. That Musang thingy, Thank God, I could pass it. Thank you to you my hilarious staff, Amel, Ovi, Tami and Tasya. You guys were doing amazing and I’m proud of it. I’m so happy to work with you. I was a single fighter bcs you were all my juniors that hadn’t been in this division before but you were helpful. Once again, thank you. Next, I only joined one competition in this year (there should be 2) bcs y’know financial problem but I was okay tho bcs I felt like the atmosphere was already different and to be honest, I didn’t really like. For the competition I joined, two of my close friends didn’t join and that was breaking my heart bcs I felt like all alone but Thank God, there were still some other friends that I could lean on. What did I feel back in September? I felt awful. It was awful. We came to the phase where we didn’t get what we wanted, like in 2015. It was whoah, I can’t handle the sadness. It was like getting a very serious broken heart. I cried a lot that time. But yeah, we also learned that everything needs hard works, and maybe for that time, we didn’t work that hard; we didn’t put the souls in every move we took; we didn’t mean every struggle we did. Then, in this organization, us the people in it, didn’t get along fast. But surprisingly, in the end, we are fine. Well you know, everything needs time. By the way, I was really touched by my own staff that suddenly came to me when Musang ended and they cried. I never thought that I would get so much affection from them. Again, it was heart-warming and so new to me. Thank you for the love you give, I am so happy. Ah, I should not forget about this one: Thank you to my CLASSYFOURTEEN for being the reason I stay and struggle—you guys mean so much to me, it’s been a honor to work with you, smartass people. Last, thank you, Vocalista Paradisso. Bcs of you, I learned a lot about organization life, about facing different kind of person. I’m grateful to be part of you. WE HAD ACHIEVED MORE!

COLLEGE LIFE// First, let me laugh at myself. HAH! Okay, let’s continue, shall we? This year, there was only 1 semester that I should attend formally, which was the 6th one. It was maybe started in February and ended around June or July, I forget. AND THAT WAS THE HARDEST SEMESTER IN MY LIFE. I still remember every day and every month how real the struggle was. Doing the Seminar HI project was the craziest point in my life. I spent so much energy and time—also, my sanity was being tested too. I was lack of sleep. I lose my appetite. I spent too many hours in coffee shop—i drank 2-3 cups a day. I even sometimes didn’t attend the class just because I hadn’t done the task yet. Everything felt like in a rush. Moreover, the other subjects were just alike. All the debates, the simulation, the paper, the presentation, oh man, the bag under my eyes were truly getting darker. But thank God, I made it to the next semester. The journey was hahahahah I don’t know what to say. But I am so glad that I could pass it and even I got compliment on my Seminar HI proposal. The only thing that I care in this semester was I AM FINE. I AM STILL FINE. Next on the 7th semester. There was no formal class. I only took skripsi or thesis and KKN or student community service. The truth is... I was wasting my time with sleeping, playing phone and hanging out. Ah also rehearsing for the competition. My skripsi is a big ZERO. So yeah, I won’t talk about it. Well, I don’t want it too. Too sensitive. Then, there was a time when me and my friends were busy about KKN thingy like registering and meeting with other gals, but yeah. We did the survey to the location like few times. I was scared with KKN just by the idea of it. if you read the former post in this blog, the you will know how scared I was. Some bad thoughts just came to my head and made me don’t wanna go. Everytime I talked about this with friends, all the things that came out from my mouth was ranting and whining. My mind seemed to wonder too much and yeah SURPRISINGLY, IT WENT WELL. MOREEEE THAN I EXPECTED IT. I enjoyed it every single day. At the beginning, I kinda lose my appetite but then in like 3 days, it went back. HAHA. I was so happy you know. I met some kids in kindergarten and they were amazing. There was this introvert boy that at first he didn’t want me to get closer but time flied... he was the one who came to me, sat near me and suddenly took my hand. It was so cute you know. And then, the other boy that was so clingy but the laugh was so heart-warming. Gosh. It was a really something new to me. I usually hate kids but for this one, I could make exception. Helping to teach in this kindergarten was such a memorable experience. Then, working together with 9 other guys was a thing too. We lived in one house. We ate breakfast, lunch, dinner together. Even, we cooked! We shared bedroom and bathroom. We did the prayer together. We worked on our work plan together. We laughed together. We went to beach together. Luckily, I got some amazing friends in this group. That is what made the KKN so light and meaningful. Ah yeah, even, we did a senam what is in english, gymnastic? Whatever. Some friends made my ears were familiar to some dangdut song. Shout out to my KKN friends: Shasha, Riqqah, Rachel, Afe, Udin, Irvan, Panji, Syukkron and Sugi. You guys are like family! Thank you for everything, for every single day that we spent! I will always miss the jokes tho. HAHA. This surely would be one of my favourites.// the thing is my college life is a mess. You can conclude it just by reading it. But hey, it’s happy kind of mess. I don’t regret it, even a little part of it. This is the path that I took and I hope that I could do better in 2018. Amen.

FRIENDSHIP LIFE// My 2017 would never be the same if I didn’t have that CLASSYFOURTEEN by my side. This groupie actually is the member of VP 2014. I don’t know but maybe we all have grown up and surprisingly, there is no gang. If we hang out then we hang out together. Like I said, they were the reason to stay in VP and also the reason to hang on till the end of term. They are funny, dirty, smart, and having the very good sense of humor. You can’t ask more because they are just a complete package. To you: Amel, Stella, Shasha, Kezia, Andre, Septi, Viki, Yosgal, Agustin you guys were making my last year in VP colorful. And to you my roomate Dian, ah yeah Febri&Izan, even you were kinda rare to come to the rehearsal, but when you did, it was also giving the new color in our friendship. YOU GUYS ROCK! In 2018, things might be different. We wouldn’t meet regularly like usual. But, I hope we could still hang out together, spend the time at McD together. Thank you guys! Keep the friendship closer and the gang strongert than ever. I love you./ And then, to my college sweethearts, Riqqah, Rachel, and Kiki. I don’t know anymore. All the spirit that you gave meant so much to me. All the tasks were done it was also bcs of your help. I’m so glad that we finally could have this sleepover even it wasn’t unplanned but it was fun, for sure. Riqqah&Rachel... thank you for agreeing to join the KKN team with me. I don’t know any more if there was no you guys. Rachel, my teaching partner in kindergarten, I’m so glad that I know you deeper and better. And Riqqah... the one who knows the good and bad of my story. Thank you for the sleepless nights at McD, pointless conversation about trashy thing, serious talk about current politics situation (and our life too), the hangouts, and everything that I couldn’t remember. But surely, it was soooo good, having a friend that I can talk anything to. GUYS, thank you so much. Every time I write this flashback kind of thing, there are you guys, bcs there is no way that I didn’t mention you. Let’s stay and continue saving each other’s ass. Our final journey has begun. I love you!/ To my boarding house mates, Cicil, Samantha, Feni, and Desi with Rere that moved out, I am sooooo happy to have friends like you. I still remember the surprise you gave for my birthday, and I will always remember that. I’m so glad that I finally could hang out with you to Carrefour near our boarding house. And also, I’m glad that I could spend the day with Samantha. You guys are good mates and neighbours. So Much Love!/ Disa Khasbiya, my highschool friends till now. I AM SUPER GRATEFUL TO HAVE YOU AS MY FRIEND. The typography, the conversation, the little hangout. When I was so down, you were just there and listening to me. When I just accomplished or finished thing that burdened me, you always appreciate it. You always managed time to hang out with me whenever you went home for holiday (unplanned one, even), and for that I appreciated it sooooo much. Gosh. Let’s continue this friendship till we turn grey. Loooooooovelovelove!/ 2017 was yeah a good year for me and my high school friends. At the beginning of year, my birthday actually, I could meet up with Lyna, Oca, Nindy, Ira and have some talks there. Then, I had yeah few times hangout with Disa, also with Oca to some coffee shops. They’re still the same. Oca is still abnormal like usual. Ah yeah, also meeting up with Acha, Ellen, Shella, Disa, Vania, Intan a.k.a cwendol few days before the 2017 ended. It was a sudden plan but we made it. They were just like yesterday in high school. Last, going to Delart 12 with Ira and Dini, we went to coffee shop afterward and there was also Disa joined us. Another fun meeting, eh. I’m so grateful. This was like my hope in the beginning of 2017 that I could at least meet and still be friend with them. And God is always good. Thank you so much./ After all this happy things that I mentioned above, there is this thing that bothers my mind. There is something changing between me and someone used to be with me. How can someone that used to be our rock star becomes someone we don’t know? How can someone change so much till I can’t even recognize? We both used to be a team, partner in crime but suddenly that someone just left... now? We don’t even say hello. It is so weird. And a bit hurt too. What have changed you? What things that you can’t tell? What was happening? What IS happening? To you, if you happen to read this, if you do not explain, then I will not know and understand. I know you are weird, that’s why we became friends at the first place. Not like this, dude... now, there’s so much hatred in my head till it wants to explode. Just tell... I’ll just understand your choice, I’ll move to another step, forgetting. You know me so much that I have friend issue back there. What a shame that you just did the same. Well, the thing that I learned from this one is... people fucking change and sometimes too far. You can’t even chase. People come and go... it could happen to anyone even it’s someone who used to be your partner. Maybe after all, we need to not care too much because it’s possible to make you’re hurt too far.

ABOUT ME// and what about me? The answer is I don’t know too. I can’t recognize anything new from myself... deep within. I am still Ila back in 2016. Even, worse. I tried to apply for a job, well, i didn’t pass the test. Well, I spent too much time listening to Spotify and watching YouTube videos (i ever mentioned on my post before about it). I didn’t read (little fact: maybe I just read 2 books this year). I watched movie in cinema few times, maybe something that I’m proud of bcs there is a progress. And for music discovery... I am the winner! Thank you to Spotify and Lindsey Rempalski (lindseyrem on YouTube) for all the good thing. I listened to many pop, rock, alternative, indie, kind of genre this year. So many bands that I can’t mention. I also enjoyed some local musicians. Lana Del Rey with her new album is blessing me (she’s also my top artist on my Spotify Wrapped). I went to a music event once this year, came to see Payung Teduh and Sheila on 7.

People still see as a happy person. I like that. I hope this is good because that’s the only thing that I can do. Happiness is the only thing that can give to people around me. I believe, we all have the dark part, the problems, the demon inside our heart... if you want to talk about this with me, you need a whole day (well, i whine a lot here, so yeah just track down then you’ll know how annoying my whine is) but... let’s focus on other things... the world is already cruel, the people around us is having their own problems, so why spreading the negativity if you can spread the positivity? They already have a bad day, let’s just cheer them and bring the smile back on the face. Maybe, this is the only good thing that I do this year, eh... but still... Thank You.

My sister got married. I was so sad. I still am. Another new experience happened to me. I can’t describe the feeling bcs it is just too much. It’s like I’m gonna be on my own. 2018 surely is gonna be different and challenging, I guess. Well, congratulations on your wedding, Sis! The only thing that I could do is praying for you to always have a happy life. Thank you so much for being a very good sister all this time. I know I am such an asshole but actually I love you so much.

2017 taught me about “Jalani aja dulu” (maybe “Just Go Ahead” in english). I let things flow. This thing led me to failure, heartbroken, grateful events, new experiences, loss, happiness, and other things. I didn’t have any exact plans, so it drove me to this kind of random and messy situation. I had goals to get achieved, but it was all just bullshit. I wrote down everything that I wanted to do this year, but it turned out to be another hell of shit.

I was so unmotivated in 2017. I didn’t even write properly.

Maybe that’s the problem... I was too comfortable about the concept of let it flow and just go ahead, whatever happens, we think about it later. I’m never in this place before. My vision was dark and my thought was driving nowhere.

Maybe I should change too... I should start to care about my future. I should find things that make me want to keep moving forward.

2017, you were shit.

I felt the happiness. I felt the fun. I felt the heart-warm. I was so happy when I’m with my friends. I kinda could do anything with my friends there. But... I still feel like this. I still feel something is not right in my heart. I still feel like I’m not enough. Sometimes, I feel sad without having reasons. Sometimes, knowing people’s story makes me want to die. I feel so small HAHAHA

Im so screwed.

To you, my ownself, Miladiyah, try harder in 2018, would you?

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018.

#happy new year #2017 #2018 #story #wrapped up #writing by miladiyah

0 notes